#eventually they did leave of their own volition and it finally felt like there was room to breathe

[bunnylovesani]

Daddy Issues

(This is what I imagine him looking like in this fic)

Content warnings: MDNI, reader has daddy issues, 20 year age gap, Anakin is your best friend’s dad, drinking, fingering, dirty talk, general smut with a bit of fluff

WC: 2.6k

You and Leia met in your first year of college and your friendship quickly blossomed. Despite being from the same town, you’d never bumped into each other. If you had, you’re sure you would’ve remembered him. The first time you’d met him was Christmas, 4 years ago; it was your first time coming round to the Skywalker residence and all you knew was that Leia was raised by a single dad, who was now in his 40s. The moment you laid eyes on him, you were fascinated. He had dark blonde hair which curled into golden ringlets at the ends and a mysterious quality about him you were sure made the women weak at the knees- how he’d managed to stay single for most of his life was beyond you.

Despite your fervent initial attraction to him, you tried your best to put all of it aside. Besides the obvious reasons to restrain yourself, he was also the first positive male figure you’d had in your life. He was a damn good father; always present in Leia’s life and, since you two were joined at the hip, by extension yours too. You ignored every sign, every impulse, every sizzling moment of tension that came between you two- tension you naturally assumed was one sided- he’s a decent, respectable man after all.

You had it all under control- until you received a call confirming the graduate program you’d applied for months ago had been accepted. The subsequent week was spent getting daydrunk while hesitantly packing your entire life into a van full of brown boxes- or rather, directing Leia to do it for you since you were too inebriated. It all boiled down to your final night; one last night in the suburbs you’d felt suffocated by your entire life before you moved to the big city to start your shiny new life.

So why did you feel sad? You suspected you knew the reason but spent the better half of an evening denying it and battling the growing urge to pay him a visit. Eventually, when the reality that you were about to leave him forever sunk in, you found your feet taking you out the door of their own volition. Preparing to ambush him with the help of some liquid courage you’d choked down prior to leaving, you rung the doorbell of his house for what you thought may be the last time.

“Oh, hey honey. Leia just left to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house, you just missed her. I thought you’d already said your goodbyes?”. He innocently questions as he opens the door and lets you in.

“I know, it’s you I came to say goodbye to.” You say anxiously, staring at him intensely through your lashes.

“I see, I’m honoured.” He smiles and approaches you, pulling you into a hug. “Good luck with everything sweetheart, stay safe and above all- remember to have fun! Life passes you by in an instant and one day you’ll wake up as old as I am and kick yourself for not grabbing every opportunity you had.”

“Funny you say that, Sir. That’s the exact mantra I’ve adopted recently. Fuck it, right?” You help yourself to the glass of whiskey he was holding out of his hand and take a sip.

“Can I sit with you for a little while?” You plop onto his cushioned couch before he can reply.

“Erm, yeah of course, make yourself at home.” He says welcomingly, though with a perplexed expression on his slightly wrinkled face. “Are you okay?” He wonders if there’s a reason you’re acting so strange. You don’t usually drink.

“I’m great, thank you Sir.” You bat your lashes. “Just feeling sentimental with the circumstances and all.”

“How many times have I said, call me Anakin. I know I’m old but after so many years I’d say we’re on a first name basis.” He chuckles, taking a seat beside you on the sofa, keeping a respectable distance. “I know I’m nothing much to you but I really do think of you and Leia as my girls. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” He says endearingly, smiling at you kindly.

That’s when you’re reminded of the reason you came here tonight. You had every intention of telling him how you truly felt, how you’d had a raging crush on him from the moment you met him- and now that you might never see him again, you saw no reason why you shouldn’t act on those feelings.

But hearing him compare you to his daughter filled a hole you felt inside you ever since your father abandoned you- while simultaneously making you feel sick to your stomach.

You stared into his warm eyes, encased with crows feet and accompanied by two prominent creases on his forehead. You shouldn’t find a man of his age so attractive but you do.

“You know, I don’t think you’re old.” You state simply.

“What?” He asks somewhat confused by your meaning.

“You said one day I’ll wake up as old as you. I don’t think you’re old at all. If anything, you’re in your prime.” You look away. “You’re not nothing to me either.”

He looks visibly stunned, though he tries to mask it by refilling a glass of whiskey, the brown liquid almost spilling everywhere.

“Right back at you, kid. Well I’m sure you’ve got a lot of packing to do so I won’t keep you. You need a ride?” He shuffles in his seat.

“No. Not the kind of ride you’re thinking of anyway.” A wave of boldness overcomes you and you feel the alcohol burning through your veins as you shuffle closer to him.

“Uh, I think that whiskey’s gone straight to your head. Why don’t I get you some water?” He’s about to get up but you grab him by the hand and force him to stay seated, holding onto it longer than necessary.

“You know how I feel about you Anakin. I know you know.” You stare deep into his mature blue eyes as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with an apprehensive gulp.

“Now that’s enough young lady. You absolutely should not be thinking about me in that way. I’m almost twice your age.” He sternly warns you and you can’t help but wince. The way he’s scolding you is triggering some deep rooted daddy issues. You knew you always had them to some extent but you never knew just how bad they were until you met Anakin.

“I dont mean to make you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. I’ll leave right now if you want me to, you’ll never see me again. Just tell me you don’t feel anything towards me and I’ll be on my way.” You’re huddled over him with your legs on the sofa, hand slowly inching its way towards his thigh.

A flash of conflicting emotions run through his eyes- he’s obviously embarrassed, perhaps shocked - though you find it hard to believe he had no clue at all- but there’s something else. He’s debating with himself, you can see the cogs whirring in his mind.

“I can’t say that.” He meets your gaze. “I care about you a lot, you know that. Which is why you need to leave. You’re not in the right state of mind.” He gets up again but you pull him down and climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I have been in love with you for 4 years, Anakin. You are my every waking thought. I know it’s wrong and you’d never be with me but I can’t control myself. If I can’t have you forever, let me have just this one night- please.” You wait for him to object to the way you’re sitting on him but to your surprise, he doesn’t.

“Alright, honey.” He grumbles softly after a little while, looking at you with a subdued expression that conveyed both concern and understanding. “Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll give you what you want. I’m yours for the night.”

You sit there, stunned. You were fully expecting him to kick you out of the house and tell Leia everything. You were expecting anything other than him giving in. Is he just taking pity on you and thinks this will help you get over your daddy issues? He knows you have them. Or is he as sick and twisted as you are?

“Can…can I…” You lean in, pressing your fingertips against his lips.

“Leave it all to me sweetheart. Daddy will make it all better.” He wastes no time taking your hands into his own and kissing your fingertips softly, before pressing his lips against yours.

You’re too stunned to react so you allow him to kiss your motionless lips, your eyes still wide open in disbelief. You’d never been so grateful to someone for taking the lead.

“Close those pretty eyes for me baby, you’re safe now.” He kisses your eyelids softly and his gentle caresses awaken a deep urge within you.

You grab at his collared shirt, loosening his tie and unbuttoning it. “Been working more late nights at the office?” You mumble into his lips as you push the crisp white shirt off his shoulders, leaving his muscles exposed.

“That’s because I have two women in my life who bleed me dry.” He chuckles and you smile at the memory; he’s shelled out for you on more than one occasion- from plane tickets and birthday gifts to a new MacBook for college because your one broke and you couldn’t afford another since you’d been fired from your waitressing job- he even agreed that that guy deserved to get a drink thrown in his face for grabbing you. He said that if he were there, he would’ve done worse.

Before you freefall into a psychoanalytical hole, Anakin rips your skirt off - it’s as if he can hear your mind working overtime. You gasp a little as he kneads the fat of your ass cheeks roughly, guiding you until you’re grinding against him. You can feel him getting hard, and oh did it feel big. You’d stolen subtle glances at his crotch on numerous occasions, contemplating what it might look like, what colour the tip might be, what it might taste like. You couldn’t bare to be left in the dark any longer so you reached for his belt and impatiently started undoing it- but you were stopped by his large hands cupping yours.

“Not just yet princess. I wanna take my time with you.” He whispered coarsely and the feeling of his warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine. Before you knew it, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on his lap with your back facing his front. He traced his tongue in big open kisses along your neck while his hands trailed up and down your thighs, before he hooked his fingers around your panties.

“Lets get these off shall we?” He purred and his words sent sparks straight down to your core. He lowered your underwear only down to your knees, before spreading your legs a little, his hand placed under one of your thighs to keep it up. You felt the cold air hit you and knew instantly that you were soaked.

You breathing was reduced to short little pants as his fingers reached the inner folds of your pussy, and it felt like every caress touched your soul. You started squirming about in his lap as two of his fingers slid into you.

“Goddamn… oh baby, I didnt even mean for that to happen but you’re just so wet they slipped right in.” You mewled at his lustful words as he curled his fingers inside you, rubbing your clit with the base of his thumb.

“Oh Ani…ah fuck!.” You cried. “Anakin!”

“Yes sweetheart, what is it?” Gaining speed, he grabbed your cheeks with his free hand and turned your head to force you to look at him but you were too stimulated to respond.

“Do you hear how wet you are? And here I thought you were a good girl.” He maintains eye contact and your cheeks flush at the lewd sounds coming from your core. You take a glance and see his hand is glistening with your arousal, wetness squelching as it pours down to the Rolex on his wrist.

“Aah…I, I’m sorry daddy! Mm can’t help it” You manage to squeal out, embarassed by how wet and helpless he made you.

“Don’t you dare apologise sweetheart. Daddy loves how wet this pussy gets. Is this all for me?”

“Yes, yes Sir it’s all for you- mm all yours!” You moan as you feel your climax fast approaching. “Please can I cum? Pleasee daddy!”

“Yes princess, cum for me.” He pumps his fingers in and out of you at such a tempo you have to hold onto his arms for stability.

As if someone opened a dam, your orgasm washes over you and you let out a stupified scream- you wanted to say his name but your brain is so scrambled all you can manage is a mumbled moan of incoherent syllables.

“Such a good girl baby, well done honey.” He plants kisses all over your cheek and neck as your heart rate climbs down.

As you come down from your high, the realisation of what you’re doing dawns on you. As if he could read your mind, he takes your face into his hands.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? If you think you’ll regret it, tell me now. I don’t think I could handle it if we made love and you woke up regretting it.” He speaks softly, as if being too harsh might scare you away.

“No, no it’s not you.” You quickly respond. “I just feel a little cheap. I don’t ever have one night stands so I’m kinda out of my depth here… and the guilty thoughts about Leia creeping up on me don’t help either.”

“Hey, you’re not cheap.” You scoff at his attempt to reassure you. “Stop that, I mean it. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you regardless of the outcome of this. But…I mean I’m out of my depth here too. If we’re being honest, I haven’t had sex in years.” Anakin admits and your jaw drops. How could a man this damn fine not get laid for that long?

“It’s a personal choice.” He corrects before you jump to any conclusions about what might be wrong with him. “I don’t like one night stands either and if I’m not in love, I have no real interest in sex.” Your heart leaps at the insinuation- if he’s willing to sleep with you, that must mean…right?

“So let’s not have a one night stand then.” He continues and your heart drops. I guess you thought wrong.

“Let’s keep seeing each other. I ache all over at the thought of this being the last time I see you. I need you in my life. I don’t care if it’s wrong, I don’t care what people say. Leia will come round to the idea eventually, she has to.”

“I love you.” You reply a little too quickly, staring at him with so much admiration you think your heart might burst.

“I love you too, my sweet girl.”

Part 2

#anakin x reader #hayden christensen #star wars fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #star wars smut #sam monroe #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x you #hayden christensen fluff #hayden christensen x reader #life as a house

[middleearthpixie]

Something in the Night ~ Chapter Twenty-Two

Summary: Following the Battle of the Five Armies, a seriously wounded Thorin Oakenshield returns to Erebor to recuperate and eventually ascend the throne as king. With the deaths of Azog the Defiler and his son, Bolg, Thorin no longer has to worry about the bounty the Defiler placed on his head and can instead concentrate on restoring Erebor to its former glory. 

Nina Carren of Esgaroth has one goal—to make Thorin Oakenshield pay for unleashing Smaug the dragon unto her home—where he destroyed the town and killed her family. The Defiler might be gone, but his bounty remains very much in place, and she fully intends to collect on it. 

Finally, the opportunity shows itself for her to do just that, only to have it go horribly awry. Wounded and now at his mercy, neither Nina nor Thorin stopped to think what might happen, should things not go quite according to plan…

Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x ofc Nina Carren

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 3k

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Previous chapters can be found here. 

Darkness had never been so peaceful. 

Thorin stared up at the ceiling, which was little more than blackness upon blackness, embedded with gemstones that glinted in the flickering candlelight. He’d never noticed just how many stones there were, even after the literal weeks he’d spent in this very bed not quite two years earlier. Then again, the last time he’d occupied this bed, his circumstances were far more dire, as he hovered between life and death, utterly unsure of which he preferred. 

Since then, his scars ached from time to time, the ones on his belly a bit sensitive to the touch. But at that moment, he felt nothing but utter peace and perhaps the small tingling remnants of the absolute bliss that had coursed through his body earlier. 

Of their own volition, his fingers skimmed lightly along the gossamer, fiery silken threads of Nina’s wild curls. Her hair was softer than any other he’d ever touched, fluid and seemingly alive as it spilled through his fingers, the light catching the streaks of gold and fire running through it. Her breath whispered across his chest, and he smiled as her fingertips slid gently along his stomach. 

Nina lifted her head to regard him with sleepy eyes. “I thought you’d fallen asleep.”

“I’ve no desire to sleep. I’d rather this night not end just yet.”

She shifted, resting her chin against his chest. “Narnerra has told me she’s cleared me to leave. And while she didn’t exactly say so, I believe that was a polite way of telling me to lose myself come morning.”

He let his fingers move down, along the curve of her ear, to her cheek. “Where will you go?”

It might have been but his imagination, but he thought disappointment flashed through her unusual green eyes, but all she said, “I have a flat in Dale. And Sigrid is probably going out of her mind with worry for me.”

“Sigrid?”

“My roommate.” Her teeth flashed in a winsome smile. “Bard’s daughter.”

“You live with the bowman’s daughter?”

She nodded. “We’ve known each other since we were children. I bumped into her when I first returned to Dale and she needed a roommate as much as I needed a place to room.”

“Will she object to my paying call on you? I’ve the feeling she is no more fond of dwarves than you were when you and I first met.”

“Paying call on me?”

He nodded, letting his fingers graze along her jaw, unable to resist the feel of her soft skin. “I believe you call it courting in the world of Men.”

Her eyes widened. “You wish to court me? Do you even know what that means?”

He chuckled. “I know very well what it means. And I think I would like to do so. Unless you’d rather leave here and never be bothered by me again.”

Her laugh came soft and bubbly as she shook her head. “No, I’d rather not do that, if it’s all the same to you.”

With that, she eased over him and his breath hitched at the feel of her against him, the feel of her full breasts firm against his chest, the feel of her cleft nestling him so nicely. Her body fit perfectly against his, soft and supple as he slid his arms about her and let his fingertips dance down her spine toward the rounded curve of her backside. 

Her eyes softened as they held his, and she carefully shifted to balance as she traced a finger along the line of his beard. “Do dwarves approach courting differently?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never courted anyone.”

“Well, surely you know the basics.”

“I’m not so certain our basics are your basics.”

“Thorin.”

“What? I’m not.”

“Thorin.”

She started to shift off him, and he caught her before she could, smiling as he said, “Oh, no, mesmel. You are staying right there.”

“Am I, then?”

He nodded, tightening his hold on her. “Oh, yes. You are.”

Her gaze softened and he bit back a low sigh as she pressed her hips into his and replied, “If you insist.”

Her lips came upon his then and he wrapped his arms about her. She felt so perfect against him, his blood warmed as it swept through him, his heart picking up its pace as she broke the kiss to graze her lips along his chin, down his neck. Leaving fiery tingles in her wake, she kissed her way down over his chest, down his stomach, and his head spun from the heat that scorched him from the inside out. 

“Mesmel,” he managed to breathe as thinking became far more difficult. How could a simple kiss, a trail of simple kisses, creates such fire in him, create such need? A dull ache took root deep inside him, one that was maddening and arousing at the same time. Each pass of her lips, each flick of her tongue against his overheated skin sharpened that ache, made the fire burn brighter and hotter with each passing moment. His eyes closed of their own, sweet pleasure threatening to drown him as she moved into even more sensitive territory. 

Nina crept lower, her kisses hotter, more teasing and far more seductive now and as she reached his hip, he couldn't hold back his moan. He burned for this woman, this wanton temptress who made him feel things he never knew could be felt, and little by little, his blood flowed south, hot and thick and burning as he responded to her sensual touch. 

Her lips came soft and warm along his left inner thigh, moved down toward his knee, then back up and his hips snapped up of their own as she slowly took him in her mouth. The silken pull was nearly his undoing, the inferno raging through him bringing him so perilously close to completion in a single heartbeat. 

Without thinking, he reached for her, sank his hands in to her glorious hair, twisting his fingers into the thick curls as he moaned, “Nina…” 

She lashed him with her tongue, slow strokes that moved along his length and swirled about his girth. She drew him deep, the pressure nearly driving him mad with the need for release. He held back, fought it off to allow the fiery pleasure to consume him. He couldn’t breathe. If someone asked, he’d not be able to recall his own bloody name. 

None of it mattered. She teased him to the brink of madness and the harder he pulled on her hair, the tighter her lips came about him and the rougher her tongue came upon him, and the pleasure that burned through him had the intensity of a thousand suns. 

Then, she pulled away slowly, offering up a sensual smile at his moan of protest. That protest was forgotten as she kissed her way back up to his lips, shifted ever so slightly and—

“Oooh…” He couldn't hold back his moan as she sheathed him in a silken glide and tightened about him. She sat back, hands braced on his chest, and rocked ever so slowly, moving forward and back. 

He moaned again, his hands coming to rest on her thighs, his fingers tightening as she rode him slowly. Forcing his eyes open, he drank in the sight of her, her full breasts swaying with her movement, her hips undulating so very slowly to treat him to sensations that were both fiery and sweet. 

She smiled, her eyes glittering in the candlelight as she whispered, “Thorin…”

He returned that smile, sliding one hand between her perfect thighs, into the russet curls between them, and found that pearl he knew would give her the same pleasure she gave him.

She sucked in a sharp breath as he just barely grazed it, and tightened about him even further as she drew him deep. With each stroke, she quivered about him, her hips moving faster now, her eyes closing as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth and bobbed her head. 

He felt her climax build, felt his own rolling up from somewhere deep inside him. He urged her to move faster, to ride him harder, and as she did, he increased his pressure on that bead until she let out a soft cry and a sudden burst of wetness accompanied the equally sudden tightness of her clamping all around him. 

He had to move, had to thrust, and did so without thinking, his hips arcing to meet her as his release burned through him. She shuddered with him, her fingernails bit into his chest and they cried out as one as her release triggered his and he erupted in a fiery crescendo of desire and need.

She tightened about him further, quivering and pulsing with him as she threw her head back in surrender and dug her nails harder into his chest. Her lips moved, but no sound emerged, and then she sank against him, fighting for breath, her head coming to rest in the curve of his neck.

His head spun from the force of his release and his own breath fled as well even as he wrapped his arms about her and managed to whisper, “Mesmel… oh… love… you are amazing… know you this?”

A soft laugh skittered across his bare skin, and he shivered at the sensation of her lips grazing the cure of his neck. “I love you,” she whispered back. 

He smiled into the semi-darkness, savoring the silkiness of her hair beneath his fingertips. “I love you, too. Maralmizi.”

“Maralmizi.” She lifted her head, her eyes heavy-lidded and sleepy. “Did I say that right?”

“Almost. Maralmizu is how you would say it to me.”

“Maralmizu?”

“Exactly.” He tucked a wayward curl behind her ear, wincing slightly as he slipped from her warmth. 

Nina shifted, stretching out beside him, and draped her arm about his waist, tucked her head into the curve where his shoulder met his chest. He tightened his arm about her, pressing a kiss into the top of her head. “And just so you know, mesmel,” he added with a smile, “you may do that to me any time you wish.”

Her laughter rippled through him. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And when I’ve recuperated a bit more,” he murmured as a delicious drowsiness crept over him, “I will do the same to you.”

“I definitely like the sound of that.”

“I thought you might.”

****

Nina awoke to the soft snoring coming from behind her and she peered over her shoulder at Thorin, curved up against her, mouth softly slack in sleep. The infirmary bed was narrow and not really meant for two people, but she found it quite cozy just the same. 

She eased onto her back, then onto her opposite side and as the bed shifted, Thorin slowly opened his eyes, then lifted his head slightly to peer over her. “What time is it?”

“I don't know. There is no clock in here.” She reached down to catch a long, silver-streaked black curl and drew it away from his face. “Will you be in trouble, should someone find you here? Narnerra will be coming through soon.”

“Mesmel,” he winked, “I am the king. No one will scold me for anything I do. But, since I’d rather your reputation not be tattered, I should probably take my leave.”

Her spirits sank, as she was so very cozy there with him, but at the same time, he was probably right. “I’ll be leaving later this morning, remember.”

“I know.” He leaned to kiss her, then slid from the bed and she had to fight back a sigh at the sight of him as he rose and what remained of the candlelight danced over the swells of muscle along his back and legs, over the firm curve of his backside. 

He moved to step into his trousers, then bent and fished his henley from the floor, and stepped into his boots. “In a flat off Stone Street. I’ll find you later.”

“Later?”

He turned, his eyes visibly darkening as she sat up and the sheet slid from her. “Later. I have some business I need tend to first, business that will not wait, I’m afraid. But,” he paused by the door, “I will be round about half seven to take you to supper.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

And with that, he was gone, slipping around the door and into the infirmary. She held her breath, waiting to hear Narnerra demand to know what he was doing there at so early an hour. At least, she thought it was early, although she had no way of knowing for certain. 

Either way, she slid from the bed, mindful of both of her healing wounds. They stung despite her careful movements, although the more she moved about, the more quickly the stinging stopped. By the time she’d dressed completely, she only barely felt anything.

Narnerra was at her desk, working on something, and looked up when Nina approached. “Ah, you’re moving about better, Miss Carren.”

“I’m getting there, I suppose.”

“Well, I think you are healed enough to be on your way.”

Narnerra’s voice was light and pleasant, but there was no mistaking the finality of her words. “I do appreciate all that you’ve done for me.”

“Of course. You were wounded in service to Erebor’s king. I would not turn you away for that. But now, it’s time for you to go. Safe travels.”

She smiled and turned back to her desk, indicating their conversation was over and while she had no clue how to find her way back to the front gates, Nina shrugged and left the infirmary. She’d figure it out. After all, it couldn’t be that difficult if Narnerra wasn’t concerned about her being seen out.

Outside the infirmary, Nina went to her left, and when the corridor ended in a T, she went right this time, Left. Right. Up a stone staircase and down another corridor. Left. Right. 

And found herself hopelessly lost. Erebor was immense, and she came to another landing, her eyes widening as she took in the sight before her.

Gold. Silver. Gemstones. As far as she could see. Her hands came to rest on the polished stone railing overlooking the sea of treasure. There was enough wealth in that chamber to keep all of Middle Earth housed and fed and clothed for centuries. Enough wealth in that chamber for Thorin to give every warm body in Esgaroth a fortune of their own and he would still have more than enough left over. 

Her mouth went dry and her heart picked up its pace. It would be so easy to go down those stairs, to wade into that sea of riches, and fill her pockets to the point where she would never have to worry about money again. No one would ever notice.

No one would ever know.

And perhaps if she did not love Thorin as much as she did, she would do just that. 

But…

“May I help you?”

Nina gritted her teeth at the sickly sweet sound of Elisin’s voice and slowly turned to find her coming down the very same staircase Nina herself had descended. “Actually, I’m a bit turned around. I’m looking for the front gates.”

“Oh, leaving are you?”

“I am. I’m sufficiently healed and ready to go home.”

“How wonderful for you. Come,” Elision gestured toward the staircase, “I’ll show you. I know this city almost as well as Thorin.”

“Yes, I suppose you do.”

“We’ve been talking about being married,” Elisin said as they made their way up. “I don't know if he’s told you that or not.”

“No,” Nina shook her head, “he’s not. But then, we’ve not had much time to talk.”

“Really? Not even when he came to you last eve?”

Nina looked over at her. “I don't know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you? I saw him come to the infirmary last eve. You were the only one there, so why would he have been there as well, if not for you?”

“You will have to ask him that yourself. He was probably looking for your healer.”

“I did ask him.” Elisin stopped short, snagging Nina’s forearm to halt her. “And what do you suppose he told me?”

The sudden stop meant Nina pulled her stitches and the hot sting soured her mood more than Elisin’s presence eve could. Biting back the oath bubbling to her lips, she whipped about and growled, “How would I know what he told you?”

“You know why he was there. You know exactly why he was there and if you think I don’t know, you are even more stupid than you look.”

“I beg your pardon?” Nina jerked her arm free and stepped back, drawing her sword as she did. “Touch me again, and lose that body part. I am not playing this game with you. If you wish to know why Thorin was in the infirmary, I suggest you actually ask him instead of thinking me fool enough to say anything.”

Elisin stared at the blade, and then at her, and slowly shook her head. “You are mad.”

“No,” Nina told her, “I am not mad. I am sore and I am tired and I am going home.”

“I know why he was there, kunbûna and if you think, for one second, that I will let you take him from me? You are sorely mistaken.”

Although she had no idea what kunbûna meant, Nina knew it was an insult of some sort. Still, she wasn’t about to let Elisin get a rise out of her and so she re-sheathed her sword. “And you think I’m mad. Good day.”

She spun about and strode off without a look back, and this time, thankfully, managed to find her way to the main gate without getting lost. She didn't know how Elisin would react when Thorin told her the truth, but she had the feeling it wouldn’t be at all pleasant. Not one bit. 

#Richard Armitage #AU #The Hobbit #Thorin Fic #Thorin Oakenshield #Is it hot in here? #Hobbit Fic #Romance #Hobbit Fanfic #Thorin x OC #Fan fiction #The Hobbit fan fiction

[andrigyn]

Chapter Four

Nesta says goodbye to her friends, and leaves the Night Court. Beron puts pressure on Eris, and he realizes that bringing her to Autumn might prove to be more complicated than he anticipated. 

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Link to AO3

Saying goodbye was never easy. This was why Nesta preferred to avoid needless attachments in the first place. She hardly knew the meaning of friendship before she met Gwyn and Emerie. As a young girl, she had companions, but they weighed the social costs and benefits of proximity to an Archeron, and determined that it was an opportunity to better their own standing. When the money went, so did they. Matters on that front did not improve when they moved to the village, either. There was still a hierarchy. It was only then that she was made to understand what it meant to be on the bottom, although there was comfort in knowing she would no longer be used. It was better to be outwardly hated than lied to. 

So she sat there, across from her friends, who had come to visit the House of Wind. It wasn’t an uncommon request, so neither of them batted an eye when Nesta asked them after training. Only she knew the true reason for their meeting, and the anticipation gnawed at her as they sat in a circle, discussing the latest romance novel that they were reading. She could hardly bring herself to participate in the conversation aside from a few quick remarks. Once there was a lull, she decided to broach the subject. 

“I have something I need to tell you,” Nesta blurted out. It was Emerie who looked up first from her book, her dark eyebrows raised in confusion. Gwyn looked over at her with a similarly curious expression. 

“No, don’t tell me, I’ll guess. You and Cassian are mates!” Gwyn said. 

Emerie shushed her. “No way, my guess is that Elain has finally decided to come and train with us.” 

The possibility that she and Cassian were mates was something that haunted her. It brought up her many conflicting feelings towards the male, let alone her uneasiness around the bond generally. It felt too permanent. There was no divorcing a mate, and the connection was so much deeper than a marriage. No, Nesta didn’t want a mate, and she couldn’t fathom why anyone else would disagree. However, the idea of Elain coming to train was a pleasant one. It wouldn’t be like her sister to come of her own volition, but then again, Nesta would never have chosen it for herself either. Elain had choices, but she did not. So when she asked her sister to come by, her invitation was ignored. 

“No, neither of you got it,” Nesta said with a giggle, “I’m being deployed on a mission to the Autumn Court, and I leave tonight. This was all very short notice-” 

“How long will you be away?” Gwyn asked. Nesta noticed her energy change completely at the mention of her mission. 

“I’m not sure yet. I need to explain myself a bit more, though. You might hear news about me in the following weeks and it’s not what it seems-” 

“Oh for the Cauldron’s sake, Nesta, you’re always so dramatic,” Emerie said with a laugh. 

“Technically, I’m engaged to Eris Vanserra, but it’s fake. The ruse is all part of the mission.” 

Her two friends gasped, but then Emerie quickly fell into laughter again. Gwyn joined her, and Nesta couldn’t help herself either. She supposed that the situation was quite funny, if she took a few steps back to examine it from a perspective that was not her own. Eventually, the priestess set her book down, and wrapped her arms around both of them. 

“My dear friend Nesta, about to marry a future High Lord! You’ll have so many stories to tell once you return,” she said. 

“I’m not marrying anyone!” Nesta’s cheeks were starting to turn red. 

“So what’s the mission then?” Emerie asked. 

She paused, but remembered that not even Azriel was told about the assassination. Even if she didn’t realize it at first, there was a sort of implied secrecy to the entire affair. Although she hated the idea of lying to her friends, the idea that the truth might put them in harm’s way was even more odious. If word of Rhys’s plan got out somehow, who knows what he might be capable of. 

“I’m spying on Beron.” It was as close to the truth as she thought was safe. 

“I guess Az and his shadows just weren’t up to the task,” Gwyn joked. 

“No, I think this mission requires a bit more subtlety. Only a Valkyrie can infiltrate a court where it seems like they don’t believe females have brains,” Nesta quipped. 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ 

After spending the afternoon with her friends, Nesta felt more self assured. When she told them, they didn’t react with the same anger or concern that Cassian had. There was an innate understanding among the group that they were a team of equals who trusted in the abilities of one another, even if they would always come to the defense of their friend. Gwyn and Emerie gave her the feeling that Autumn wasn’t a place to be feared, and that perhaps they ought to fear Nesta instead. 

The feeling that she had after joking around with her friends for hours was indescribable. But when Gwyn returned to the library, and Emerie to Illyria, she felt an emptiness inside. It would soon be time to leave, so she holed up in her room to focus on packing. In a few short hours, Cassian knocked on her door. It did not take her long to pack, because she didn’t have many dresses anymore. She threw in her training leathers just in case, but she doubted it would be appropriate for a lady of the court. 

“Come in,” she said. 

“It’s- It’s time to go.” He stared at the floor as he spoke softly. 

“Alright,” she said, picking up her bag and making her way to the exit. For the life of her, she could not figure the Illyrian out. They had slept together the previous night, and he even broke the unspoken rule between them by staying until morning. She had never seen him so affectionate before, but now it was as if a switch was flipped. 

They didn’t speak again, and flew to the Hewn City. 

When they arrived at the palace, they found the spare meeting room where Rhysand was waiting. Feyre, again, was suspiciously absent. Nesta couldn’t recall the last time she saw her sister, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t want Feyre to see her passed off like this. She had too much of an ego on her these days, and Nesta didn’t want to give her any more reasons to feel superior. Having to be ruled over by her youngest sister was enough. 

The High Lord only nodded in acknowledgement as they walked in. The general didn’t seem to care that they now had an audience, because he brought her into his firm embrace. He leaned in to kiss her forehead, and then to whisper in her ear. “I’ll come to visit as soon as I can, and I’ll keep working to bring you home.” 

“Cassian, please,” Rhysand said, ”Get off of her.” 

He obeyed, and Nesta suddenly felt his arms fall away. 

“And go home, before Eris arrives.” 

He turned to leave, but looked back once more to offer a wink and a smile. Nesta’s expression remained blank as she watched him go, and Rhysand gestured for her to take a seat across from him at the table. 

“How dramatic. You’d think I was actually marrying you off by the way you two act,” he scoffed. 

There were so many things she could say. If she looked in the dictionary, she supposed she’d find his and Feyre’s picture right next to the word dramatic. Also the words egotistical, narcissistic, or obstinate. However, Nesta only rolled her eyes and waved her hand to dismiss him. 

“That attitude of yours will not serve you well in Beron’s court.” Rhysand chuckled. 

“Well I think that your attitude doesn’t serve you well either, in your own court, I might add.” 

The High Lord’s face fell, but before he could respond, Eris entered the room. The male was dressed more casually than the last time she saw him, but he looked dashing nonetheless. He wore a dark brown jacket, with lighter colored pants. His hair was not as tightly restrained, either, and it had some life to it. He chose not to sit. 

“Lady Archeron,” he said, with a subtle bow of his head, “Rhysand.”

Nesta almost laughed at the inclusion of a title for her, and her alone. Her countenance remained neutral, though, and she rose from her chair before walking to the Autumn male’s side. 

“I suppose this is goodbye then,” Nesta said. 

Rhysand looked past her, meeting Eris’s gaze instead. “She’s all yours.” 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ 

Nesta did not realize how much she cherished the change in seasons before she came to Prythian. For humans, life revolved around them, which made it all the more strange for her to discover that so much of these lands existed in a perpetual, unchanging state. There may have been seasons in the Night Court, but it hardly had the same impact when time itself didn’t carry the same meaning. 

Winnowing always made her feel nauseous, especially over long distances, so she took a moment to recover after Eris had brought them to Autumn. She was bent over, with her face resting in her palms. After that throbbing in her head lessened, she looked up and took in her surroundings. The colors were so bright that they blinded her briefly. She had never seen such brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow as the ones that beamed back at her in the waning sunlight. Sure, there were daytime hours in Velaris, but they were relatively short in comparison to other Courts, or so she was told. Once her eyes adjusted, Nesta determined that the area where they landed was a clearing in what seemed to be a vast, and untouched forest. 

“Are you alright?” Eris asked. He kept his distance, which she was grateful for. 

Nesta still held her hand to her temple. Whether there was genuine concern in his voice, or if it was just empty civility, she couldn’t tell. “Yes, forgive me. I don’t winnow very frequently.” 

Eris raised his eyebrow and smiled slightly, but she wasn’t sure what was so amusing. He extended his hand and gestured towards the dirt path ahead of them. “Winnowing directly into the House is forbidden, so we have to walk the last mile.” 

He picked up her bag, and began walking. Perhaps he wasn’t joking when he implied that males acted more like gentlemen here. Nesta followed closely behind, with leaves crunching under each step. She didn’t doubt that in time, magic would become normalized to her, but that was not necessarily a good thing. In order to integrate into this world fully, she would have to betray a part of herself. As the years flew by, the memory of her old life would chip away in bits and pieces until there was nothing left. If only the Cauldron could have granted her a new mind to go along with this unfamiliar body, so she wouldn’t be burdened with old memories. 

“Now that I’m here, I’d like to hear what your plan is,” Nesta said. The leaves kept crunching loudly underneath her shoes, so she took more careful steps. Her mother did always comment on how she stomped about the house as a child. It wasn’t ladylike then, and it certainly wasn’t now. 

“Well, I’m sure I don’t have to explain to you why my father must die, but I can give you more insight on how he shall die. I have been recording his movements every day for the past year, hoping to discover exactly the right moment to strike. There is a trail network on the grounds where he walks by himself in the evenings. I can ensure that the manor guards are distracted, and all you have to do is show up. I will be with one or more of my brothers, or anyone else who could provide my alibi. It is important that mine be rock solid, because I am the one with the most vested interest in seeing him perish.” 

“What about my alibi? And how will you explain his death? I imagine that the brutal slaying of a High Lord would prompt some investigation,” she said. 

“Either my mother will provide one for you, or we will have to pretend you are visiting your sister in the Night Court, and they will vouch for you.” 

Nesta’s stomach turned at the thought of relying on the inner circle for anything, let alone something so serious. Although she didn’t know the Lady of Autumn, she automatically had more trust in her to do the right thing. There would be nothing stopping Rhysand from betraying her. Then, she’d spend the rest of her miserable life locked up in a dungeon. Or perhaps she’d be executed. She supposed that in his eyes that would be a fitting punishment for allowing his sweet Feyre to step foot in the woods. It was a common sentiment in the Night Court that being a bad sister ought to earn you the death penalty.

“So does your mother know about your plans then?” She decided to pivot the conversation towards her, and not to even entertain the possibility of asking anyone else to provide her alibi. 

“Not yet. The knowledge would put her in jeopardy, because she is obviously very close to my father at all times, so I am waiting for the right moment. Don’t you worry though, she has no love for him either.” Eris looked down at the ground when he spoke. She could sense that his mother was a touchy subject for him, and although Nesta couldn’t be certain, it was likely that she had been mistreated. Being married to Beron for centuries must have taken its toll on her. Nesta knew that abuse could beat a person down until they were not themselves anymore. Escape would seem impossible, or wrong. 

“So who will you blame his death on?” She was certain that he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to eliminate one of his enemies, and frame them for the crime. There would surely be some in his court who would demand justice so fiercely, that they might overlook gaps in the evidence. It all hinged on whether Eris could be convincing enough in his role as the grieving son. Once he began pointing the finger at someone, it had to count. 

“Do you have a guess?” he asked with a slight smile. 

Nesta paused. “You’ll pick your least favorite brother, and set him up to look guilty. I’m sure you do have a least favorite, but are there any who would challenge your claim to the throne? You’ll choose him.” 

The male broke into a raucous laughter. He was hardly able to contain himself for more than a moment before he spoke again. “As tempting as that is, my plan was to blame Briallyn. We shall say that she used the crown to control our soldiers’ minds again, and they attacked my father while his guard was down. When I become High Lord, it gives me justification to ally formally with the Night Court in order to hunt the Queen down and kill her.” 

She shrugged, and considered why specifically Eris would want to kill the now immortal Queen. It would make more sense if this was Rhysand’s request, but he didn’t say so explicitly. Nesta wouldn’t risk asking and looking like a fool, so she shrugged it off. She much preferred her own idea anyway. 

“I suppose you would know best, but how would you like me to kill him?” She realized that her tone was now a bit too far into the realm of condescension. Eris didn’t seem to mind. He was too focused on the topic at hand to take offense. 

“You will use your sword to decapitate him, cut off the limbs, and then arrange the body parts on stakes outside of the House for the guards to find.”

Nesta raised her eyebrow and cringed at the suggestion for her to mutilate the corpse. It was not only the fact that it was disgusting, but it also seemed unnecessary. She considered that if she had her own personal grudge against the High Lord, she would have done it willingly. The first time she experienced such bloodlust was Tomas. It surfaced again with the King of Hybern, and currently with Rhysand. The High Lord of Autumn had a long way to go if he wanted to become the subject of her ire. 

“I’m here to do a job, not to carry out your revenge fantasy. Besides, how will I have time to get from the forest to the house carrying the body parts, and then stage the scene without being spotted?” she asked. 

“Fine, just the head on a stake will do then. Hide the rest of the body in the woods, and I can help you dispose of it.” 

“I’ll have to ambush him when he least expects it. What if I can’t overpower him?” Nesta asked. It was a fair question, because she was not yet a skilled fighter. Perhaps in time she would be, but for now, the only advantage she had was the element of surprise. With size, strength, and skill on Beron’s side, she would need an edge. 

“We’ll spike the wine and get him drunk beforehand, so that his guard is down.”

That was the type of edge she needed. Nesta thought that it might work, but in the human lands, there were healers who were able to detect poisons in a corpse. They would have to be careful to ensure the substance they use could not be traced back to them. She set it aside, and made a mental note to do some research of her own. She barely knew human sedatives, let alone which ones the Fae might use. 

“How long do I have to wait? And what should I do in the meantime?” 

“I don’t know yet, but patience is of the utmost importance. It could be in a week, year, or decade. A drop it the bucket, really, when you consider that you could have a millenia yet to live. Until then, I recommend being polite to my family, but speaking to them as little as possible. Your leisure time is yours to spend however you choose.” 

Nesta wasn’t sure how to feel about the possibility of spending a decade here in Autumn. He was correct that in the grand scheme of things, it was no time at all. What she did appreciate, however, was the permission she now had to structure her own days. 

“It sounds like you have everything figured out then,” she said. 

“My plan is perfect. So long as you do as I say, nothing will go wrong.” 

Eventually, the pair reached the Forest House. It was a grand, stone manor that stood tall against the colorful backdrop of the trees. Nesta first noticed its sheer size, and then she focused on its shape. There was a turret with vines climbing up its face, and more windows than she could count. They were scattered irregularly across the structure’s facade.

“Come on, I’ll show you the back entrance,” he said. She followed him around the tall, manicured hedges. Peeking through them as they moved revealed an ornate carriage parked outside of the front door. Nesta shifted her gaze back quickly, not wanting to get caught staring at whoever was entering the House. She was now focused on the back of Eris’s head. His neatly styled hair had more of a curl to it than she initially realized. She let her mind wander a bit, imagining how it might look in its natural state. 

It wasn’t long before Nesta was snapped out of her daydream. She knew that they had come to the stables by the smell, and her sharpened Fae senses never ceased to amaze her. Although it made flowers, or freshly baked cookies smell sweeter, she contemplated whether that was worth that first whiff of horse excrement. It was quiet and empty, save for the animals, who did not stir at the sight of them. 

Eris reached out an arm to pet one of the horses. Its coat was a deep brown, with red undertones. “Do you ride, Nesta?” 

“Yes, but it’s been years-” 

“Good,” he said. 

After traversing the stables, Eris led her through a large kitchen. It was full, but nobody looked up from their work to acknowledge them. The pair passed through it, and the adjoining dining room quickly. After that, they climbed the servants stairs until they were on the third floor. Once the male opened the next door, she realized that this was the main wing of the house. A red runner covered the fine, hardwood floor. The walls were decorated with art, and lit by flames atop their golden candle holders. 

“Do you really keep all of these candles lit, even during the day?” 

A grin spread across Eris’s face as he raised his right hand. He held his palm up briefly, before closing it into a fist. Suddenly, they were plunged into darkness. There were no windows in the hall, so for a moment Nesta could not see much. But before she could say anything, the lights were back on. 

“They’re magic, the flames won’t burn out on their own,” he explained. 

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Show off.” 

“Is that all it takes to impress you, after living amongst some of the most feared beings in Prythian?”

“Who said I was impressed?” she asked. 

Eris shrugged. “Just a feeling, I suppose. But we’ve arrived at your quarters.” 

He turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. Nesta followed, and she took in the room before her.  Its walls were a rich, dark cranberry color. At the space’s center stood a large, wooden canopy bed. There was a fireplace directly across from it, but she knew that she would have no use for it. There was a vanity in the corner, and a door next to it which she assumed led to the bathroom. A window took up most of the north wall with a curtain drawn to allow light to enter, and the view nearly took her breath away. 

“Is this room to your liking?” Eris asked. 

“It’ll do,” she muttered under my breath. 

Nesta made a show of pacing around and letting her gaze wander from corner to corner. He was watching, which was fine by her, as she didn’t want to give him the impression that she was indeed dazzled by this place. The House of Wind didn’t compare, and her old apartment was a shithole even before Rhys and Feyre turned it to rubble. 

“We have others for you to choose from if you find this one unsatisfactory.” 

“I told you, it’s fine,” she snapped. 

“I can give you a tour of the House now, or leave you to get settled. Your choice.”

“The tour can wait. I’d like to unpack first.” 

Unpacking was one matter, but Nesta’s main consideration was how inviting that king sized bed looked with its pillows piled high. She couldn’t identify the source of her aches, because her body was sore all over from training every morning. It had been months since she had a free evening to spend alone in bed. 

“Very well, I’ll be back in two hours when it’s time for dinner, my advice is to look your best,” Eris said. Nesta nodded, and he took it as a sign to depart. 

She didn’t intend on being so short with the male, because she was truly grateful for this space of her own, but she didn’t trust him one bit. Her sharp tongue was her best defense mechanism. If it was enough to gain her a reputation in Velaris, then it could serve her well in this new land. Eris’s words didn’t contain that same venom, at least not yet.

Nesta took her bag and set it on the bed. Once it was opened, she started to arrange her already neatly folded garments in the dresser. The few gowns she brought were hung in the vast closet, and her shoes found their places there as well. It looked rather empty when she was finished. Whoever had stayed here before Nesta had certainly had a more complete wardrobe.  

Nesta then hopped onto the bed and nestled under the blankets. She eyed the entrance, and briefly considered leaving her room to explore. She was never told that she was confined to this room, but her conditioning prevented her from taking the chance just yet. She had no idea what dangers were present in this house. Nobody in the inner circle bothered to give her a briefing, although their information couldn’t be that accurate. She wondered if Azriel’s shadows could travel to Autumn undetected. If so, they could be watching her right then and there. 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ 

Eris Vanserra was glad to be home. That dreadful bedroom in the Hewn City, as well as those dull meetings with Keir were behind him now. Worse than that had to be spending time with Rhysand and his cronies, who somehow managed to be even more intolerable than their leader.  All of that fuss over Nesta, who they seemed to be rather contemptuous of anyway. 

When the male cracked open the door to his bedroom, he felt instantly at ease. The sight of those dark green walls, and his own bed never failed to lift his mood. He moved to open a window and let in some fresh air, when he noticed a neatly folded note sitting on his desk. A pit formed in his stomach, but he wasted no time in ripping it open to reveal the message inside. 

‘My Son, your presence is requested in the throne room once you have returned home. Do not keep me waiting.’

His face twisted into a scowl. He crumbled the note, and dropped it back on the dark, wooden desk. Eris didn’t have to think too hard to imagine what he wanted, there was no doubt in his mind that it would be about Nesta. 

Even if the inner circle did not fully understand her value, he was certain that his father did. The rest of his family might as well. That was why the male deliberately placed her in a room that was close to his own. He contemplated assigning a guard to her door, and he still might, if not for his own desire not to suffocate her. It would be little use against Beron anyways, and he was who Eris was most concerned about. Hopefully she’d avoid crossing paths with his father or brothers for now. 

His instinct may have been to guard her, but that would be an impossible task. It was only logical and to be expected that his father would be curious about her. Although he supposed everyone in Prythian wanted to know more about the Archeron sisters, his father was more… imaginative than most. This was probably why the Night Court kept them under lock and key. Until now. 

Eris looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He contemplated changing, but the note was pretty clear that he ought not dawdle. The more casual brown jacket and pants would have to do for now. He didn’t want to look at himself any longer, so he tucked some stray locks of red hair back into place and left the room. It was not a long distance to go from his quarters to the throne room. When he arrived, he was greeted by the familiar blood-red carpet and walls. It was an enormous space with ceilings that towered over its inhabitants like the sky. Anyone would feel small standing there, but it did not intimidate Eris anymore. It hadn’t been scary since he was a boy. 

His father was not seated, but was pacing instead. That was not a good sign. Eris walked the length of the carpet anyways, doing his best to appear unphased. Once he came to the dais, he dropped to his right knee. His head was tilted down. 

“I’m glad to see you again, father, and to be home.” 

Beron turned to face his son. His expression was blank. “Rise.” 

Eris obeyed. He was more glad to be finished kneeling like a peasant than he was to see the bastard. 

“I trust that all has been well here in my absence,” Eris said. 

Beron raised an eyebrow. “Of course. Were you able to bring the female here without issue?” 

His jaw clenched at the mention of her, but the male pushed those feelings aside. It would be difficult to pretend he did not care for her in front of his father, but he would have to try. “Yes, father. Rhysand only requested that her sisters be permitted to visit her here.” 

Eris deliberately left Cassian’s name out of it. He was sure that the mere mention of the Illyrian might send his father into a rage. It wasn’t just that he was prejudiced against his people, although he certainly was a hateful old man. Beron would never forget his role in Morrigan’s failed engagement, and it was certainly no secret that Cassian was now fond of Nesta. That kind of embarrassment would not go over well a second time. 

“Very well, I don’t see why not. Will it be Rhysand’s whore, or your brother’s mate?” 

“Lucien’s mate, her name is Elain.” 

Beron scoffed. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I’ve called you here today because I’d like you to tell me what your plans are with the female now that she’s here.” 

Eris raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean. She is here to become my wife.” 

“But when? It’s best not to wait, not when the Night Court could change their mind and decide to take her back at any moment. Without a marriage or mating bond, our claim over her is weak, and you know it,” he spat.

“She desires a real wedding, and I intend on giving that to her,” Eris explained, “Nesta was a lady of high standing in her realm, she has an eye for planning these things. She will accept nothing less than what would normally be afforded to a lady of her status.” 

Beron grimaced. “Do whatever you want with the wedding, but I see no reason why she cannot be pregnant before the ceremony.”

He wasn’t shocked by the crassness of his father’s statement, but it was quite early to be putting the pressure on them to have a child. Eris didn’t expect this so soon. He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he stayed silent instead. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, son. It was you who came to me, and asked that I give this marriage my blessing. These were always my terms, and if you are not up to the task, I’m more than happy to give her to one of your brothers instead, or do the job myself. This court needs an heir with the Cauldron’s power.”  

His father looked so smug when he said it, implying that Nesta was nothing more than an incubator. Eris clenched his jaw again, and this time he couldn’t conceal the rage that was bubbling over. “None of you will lay a finger on her.” 

The High Lord softened. “If you don’t want any harm to come to her, then you will do as I say. You are my eldest son, my pride and joy. My interest is, and has always been in what is best for you, and for this family.” 

Eris nodded. 

“You have been warned, now go.” Beron said.

Tag List: @tuzna-pesma-snova​ , @majestythewraith​ , @acotardeservesbetter​ @joonsbratz​

#buckle up its a long one #neris #nesta x eris #nesta archeron #acotar #a swing in the dark #eris vanserra

[elk96]

Connection -Part 3 (Final Part)

Pairing; J. Robert Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy's Portrayal x doctor reader)

Word Count: 1505

Warnings: mentions of depression, slight mentions of suicidal thoughts.

The rain was tapping on the glass loudly, creating a calming buzz, interrupted by loud thunder. His heart sat tightly in his chest, his mouth dry. That had to stop. He couldn't keep on spending his evenings like that, he had work to do. 

y/N sighed, rubbed her eyes. She looked at the book he had clutched in his hands.

"How did you like it"?

Robert sucked in a breath. "It was excellent. Most…most enlightening".

"You felt you could relate huh", she asked pleasantly, and he nodded. 

"Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart", she quoted. Her patient nodded, a small smile feathering on his face.

She shifted on her seat, crossed her arms infront of her. Light conversation was over.

"You're of unusual intelligence Robert. Perhaps a bit more than large. I see that very clearly. And…my honest opinion is that you will find your way, eventually. You'll find a way to heal and step up to the circumstances. I'm here to help you do it quickly and without further consequences. I can't do that if you don't let me".

I won't judge you, her eyes promised, and Robert felt the truth in her words.

"I shouldn't have done that", he whispered.

"But you did do it. Because you felt something".

He dismissed whatever he'd felt with a nod. 

"All feelings are valid, Robert".

"I respect him greatly".

"I know".

"He makes me look like an idiot. He's charismatic, he's…smart"- his voice cracked painfully- "and… he deserves his reputation…".

"I don't give a damn about Blackett".

"Then why did you meet with him"? he asked sharply. He lowered his head. "I felt jealous, I guess. And…this couldn't go on for much longer. All the shame, and, the…the failure,.…-he was cruel.…Punishing".

He drew in a sharp breath in an attempt to calm himself down. 

"I didn't want him to die"! he rasped out in desperation. "I just left the apple there…and after that the incident didn't cross my mind at all, but, while I was asleep…".

He swallowed harshly and wiped a stray tear.

She was waiting for him to continue, posture calm and inviting, the smallest of smiles on her lips. As if it was all alright. As if it was normal.

"You're not your thoughts or your emotions, Robert", she said, almost guessing what was on his mind. "You're the witness of them. Everybody at some point of their life has felt jealous and angry, and whatnot. The fact that some people do not know how to control these emotions is not their fault".

Tears had started streaming down his face. His voice was faint, like the feel of moisture on their skin. "Who's is it"?

y/N shrugged. "Perhaps your parents', your teachers', your professors', your friends', the butcher's in your neighborhood. It doesn't matter".

The knot in his stomach pulled again-but this time it was kinder. It was from sympathy. 

"We're all broken, that's how the light gets in", she mumbled softly.

"Did…someone write that too"?

Her smile broadened. "Ernest Hemingway. Start with "The Sun Also Rises". You'll love it. Did you do any laboratory work these days? ", she then asked. 

Robert shook his head. "I don't want to go back there".

"Understandable. You know…at some point, you'll have to forgive yourself Robert".

He let out an ironic chuckle, but when he returned his gaze at her, his eyes were pleading. 

He felt as if he was standing at the edge of a cliff and was teetering between jumping on his own volition or being pushed over. Better leave on your own terms, he thought. His teeth were chattering-weirdly, because, everybody knew he'd done something so much worse. 

  "Yesterday…", he began with a shaky voice, "I was in the same wagon as a young lady and her boyfriend,- and they were kissing and I just… I don't know why…When he left…I kissed her… ".

A small sob made his shoulders wobble. "I can't control myself anymore", he whispered  in a small voice and as if to prove his words, tears started streaming down his cheeks hugging the corners of his jaw. 

He pushed himself to stop-it felt dangerous to have a psychiatrist hear him talk, see him unravel in front of her, but it was easier with her. 

He felt as if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders, as if she was there, to help, to reach out…and-and guide him. 

He shouldn't have done that- he wasn't responsible for his actions anymore…! but-

A gentle, warm hand came to rest on the back of his head. Robert released his face from his hands, only to see her close to him, her expression one of…of sympathy. 

Unbelievable though it was for him…she was there. Even when he wanted to cut his skin open-be freed, finally, from all these thoughts…

He took her hand and felt her warmth carry inside him, the most precious comfort. 

—-----------

~2 Months Later~

The sweet days of April had arrived, and the sun had begun to shake off the winter's mist. Moisture didn't stick to people's clothes anymore, they could hold pleasant conversations in their walks, unafraid of stepping in dirty water ponds. Robert found himself squinting his eyes so as to protect them from the sunlight and smiled to himself. 

He'd learned how to walk with his head straight up again, his heart felt surprisingly light, all thanks to that young doctor he'd been seeing. 

Today, however, he had one more reason to be happy: he was finally free. Off, to make a new beginning. 

He observed the little park across Dr. y/LN' office, the heaviness of the wooden staircase that led him there. His stomach clenched uneasily-not because he was ashamed or…afraid. He'd gotten rid of those feelings. Because of her. 

And this would be the last time he saw her.

She couldn't afford a secretary, at the age of 23 she had little clientele and therefore small paychecks. He knocked hesitantly at the door of her office.  He closed his eyes heavily upon hearing her happy voice. Not often would she get an unexpected patient, he supposed.

He walked to the tiny reception room, but while he was three steps in she called out to him. Either by smell or the sound of his footsteps, she'd recognised him.

"Hello Robert, good evening", she said, and he followed her inside. 

This time he ignored the comfortable armchair, eyes focused on her face.

"Won't you sit"? she asked.

He nodded with a sight.

Chewing lightly on her bottom lip-she did that while she was thinking sometimes- she examined his features for a few moments.

He cleared his throat, divided the weigh between the left and right foot. "I'm leaving Cambridge", he announced awkwardly, and she smiled, as if she'd already guessed it.

"I'll be going to Göttingen. It's…a theoretical physics university".

"Good. You'll…you will thrive there, I'm sure".

"I came to say goodbye. I thought I should…"

"Yeah, I'm glad you did", she muttered, unable to escape the uncomfortable energy that had settled in the room. 

She reached for him, they shook hands. Robert closed his eyes, grateful for the warmth of her. His breath itches when he feels her fingers tangle with his own- it's a new feeling…more…personal.

And then-oh good god- he feels rather than sees her rise to her toes, leaning in to press her lips on his. He doesn't dare breathe, scared the moment will just shatter. He can't bring himself to move either, he doesn't know what to do, it's his first time, and what if she thinks it's rejection?

She doesn't; she knows him better than his mother, better than he knows himself. She pulls back, opens her eyes, smiles at him. Her hand comes to cup his cheek, but at the corners of her eyes tears begin to swell. 

He leans in this time, feels the softness of her lips, inhales her perfume. She parts his lips with her tongue, and then it's just wetness and warmth. She sucks on his bottom lip, he explores her mouth, and it's so so different from that stupid kiss he'd had with that stranger. She sighs in his mouth and before his heart begins to flourish from the happiness she pulls back again.

Tears roll down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I'm your doctor", she blurts out in embarrassment. 

She fidgets with the hem of her skirt, Robert just stands there, unsure of how to act.

"This doesn't change anything by the way-and don't think it's out of putty!-I-I haven't told anyone. I'll send my report on Göttingen, and you'll be alright. I promise".

"I'll write to you", he promises.

She swallows harshly. Her hand somehow finds his again.

"When will you be leaving"?

Robert hugs her by the shoulder, brings her body flush against his.

"In a three day's time".

She lifts her face to meet his lips, and this time his heart guides him.

---------

I just wanted to thank those who like and reblogged the first two parts and gave me the motivation to finish this silly little story.

I didn't particularly like it's development, but I guess they deserved to have an ending.

And this final sceneI love.

Please tell me what you think if you read it!!!

#cillian murphy #oppenheimer #j robert oppenheimer x reader #j robert oppenheimer #young oppenheimer #oppenheimer 2023 #cillian murphy oppenheimer

[yoomiii123]

Looking at the BD2 movie, and implied in the book…do you think Alice would eventually tell Jasper about the details in her vision regarding the volturi standoff? What was his reaction be? I imagine even though the outcome was great, that it still haunts her, seeing her loved ones die. Thoughts?

Great question, thanks for asking! My short answer is: Yes, she told him, however not for the reasons you might imagine. Here's how I imagine it went down:

Jasper knew the very second Alice had her first vision that something was wrong. He felt her shock and alarm over the Volturi coming, which is why he immediately sped to her side. However, we do see a progression of Alice's emotions in the book (and also a bit in the movie) from plain shock to borderline panicking. This, in my opinion, is due to Alice's visions clearing up and her eventually seeing the details of the standoff / the first Cullen death (I pinpoint the moment she sees it to where the book says: "Alice seemed too deep into her vision to answer at first; finally she shuddered, and her eyes flickered back to the present.")

Observing that progression in her emotions and experiencing the despair Alice must have felt at seeing her family die first hand, I am convinced that Jasper, knowing his past and all the stories he heard about the Volturi during the wars, had very clear suspicions of what it was his wife saw when she suddenly started to panic. However, he did not push her to talk about it, satisfied with the fact that they were leaving and removing themselves from the equation (which in his head equals to keeping Alice safe).

Alice eventually tells him out of her own volition when they are in South America. Knowing Jasper, I am convinced that there is a moment after they found Nahuel and Huilen, where he insists that she lets Kachiri take them to Forks while they keep running.

What happened next depends on whether we are in the book- (where Huilen and Nahuel are proof enough) or movie-verse (where it is ultimately Alice's vision that changes Aro's mind): In the movie, Alice would have then countered with the fact that Nahuel and Huilen alone would not be enough. That she needed to be there to show Aro her vision in order to save their family. In the book universe, I headcanon that while Huilen and Nahuel are proof enough, Aro would not have listened to their testimony if it was not Alice (the vampire he respects and desires to have in his guard) who introduced them.

In either case, Jasper doesn't take it well. While he mourns the loss of their family, Alice is his priority and he cannot allow her to endanger herself like that, even if it is to save the Cullens. So he takes her vision as proof for why they have to stay away and they start to fight over what the best course of action is. Alice eventually convinces him to go back by saying that if (part of) her family died, she would be as good as dead as well (which appeals to Jasper's emotional side) and that the Volturi would come after her next once the Cullens are no longer in the picture (which appeals to Jasper's logical side).

So yes, this is what I headcanon happened. Alice tells him, Jasper doesn't take it well, they fight, Alice eventually wins the argument, they go back and stop the Volturi. I do agree with your point regarding Alice being haunted by the vision of her loved ones dying, however, I do also believe that she is not the only one. Jasper recognises that while they averted the inevitable for the moment, it is only a matter of time before the Volturi try to get their hands on Alice and Edward again. And he is haunted by that possibility because he knows that if they really wanted her, there would be nothing he could do to stop them. Jasper's main goal in life is basically to keep Alice safe and happy. And her vision in Breaking Dawn tells him that no matter what he does, he will not be able to do that forever.

Sorry for the long post, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts! Anything to add? What do you think happened?

#jalice #jasper hale #twilight renaissance #breaking dawn #twilight saga #the twilight saga #asks #headcanon #meta

[toftie]

orv spoilers under sorry

been reading some theories and like i love the idea so much about kim dokja being a co-author to orv, because that means i think everybody in the main trio was a co-author at some point now, possible even everyone in KimCo as well as others who have helped them

1863!revised HSY started writing TWSA in order to save KDJ → but the epilogue was never finished before her ego got integrated into her subconscious → then events of ORV starts (which everything we have been reading was actually recorded this whole time by 1864 HSY) but this was not fully completed by herself this time unlike the first time she wrote TWSA. in the epilogue she notes she actually had to get help from everyone they've met, extracting their fables and asking them to recount their experiences of everything up till now. then at some point she wasn't able to continue writing and YJH had to continue writing his own parts in when he was in space, maybe he even edited some parts where his point of view was needed, and then finally after KDJ wakes up, as the last piece of the final puzzle, he finishes writing the story together with them probably after he recovered, filling in his own point of view on parts that only he would know (which is a lot as he is the main character)

i just love how this was a story started by one person that was only able to be completed with the help of many people, something that would not be possible if KDJ wasn't able to help all of them as he did. it was written with love to bring back/save one person (KDJ) and when he did eventually come back as implied by the ending, he wrote the epilogue in a way that made it so that it was to save the reader (us). rephrasing the beginning texts of TWSA in order to tell the reader that they will be able to survive, just as he was able to survive

also. like i still cant stop thinking about the 0 turn, like i keep thinking is that right? did i read this right? did YJH really choose to regress of own his volition just so he could meet KDJ? like that was the beginning of his regressions right? i kept thinking why? why would he choose to leave his perfect happy ending and go through the hellish scenarios again over and over, granted that the scenarios will be hellish because he loses all memories and KDJ isnt there to help him, just to meet him?

i dont think i'll ever fully understand and i think maybe YJH doesn't understand either, and maybe thats fine and thats just how it is. maybe deep down he feels like KDJ should be a part of his happy ending, like physically a part of it, rather than just an observer or a constellation watching them live it (paralleling the 1864th ending with him watching his avatar live happy with KimCo) since if it wasn't for KDJ, they would not have lived happily ever after. maybe its just how YJH loves, i dont know. i mean even after they finish the 1865th turn and go back to normal lives, YJH literally becomes so restless and unable to do anything with himself that he becomes a terrorist to take the Ark and implying to go to another worldline to find KDJ again. AGAIN. like he was literally haggard and disheveled looking and couldnt even keep up his gamer job because maybe he felt like his happy ending wasnt complete without that idiot(?) he was willing to, and actually did, lose more years of his life going to space, for like an indefinite amount of time, and he knew this, he fucking knew this, and just like the first time he accepted the regression stigma, he went in the great beyond anyway just to find KDJ again. that is insanely absurd to me like explosions are going off rn

oh and actuallt wait no he wasnt alone, the group regression thing by itself was literally insane and also YJH reading ORV written by HSY with others really helped him cope with the burden he placed on himself, as hes the only one capable of doing the impossible (like KDJ with ressurecting)

it also kinda parallels with HSY again as she was initially alone when writing TWSA for KDJ (um i guess the dokkaebi king was with her too but like... that doesnt count cuz there isnt really a solid bond, more like employer and employee thing) which took up many years, and then she writes ORV with everyone's help later on which i think absolutely helped her and everyone cope with KDJ's absence. HSY lost many years of her life writing for one man, including the Kaixenix arc, just like how YJH lost years of his life fighting for one man while KDJ lost many years of his life sacrificing himself for everyone, by doing what he knows best, reading, to keep their stories alive while they lived out their happy ending. i think i am literally just talking in a loop now but when it comes to these 3 the parallels and symbolism are so insane with how interconnected and almost symbiotic everything is

also i was literally just doublechecking the definition of symbiosis and

#orv spoilers

[cheesus-doodles]

You probably already watch the latest episode of Tokyo Revengers, or read the manga, but I wonder how the reader would handle the current relationship with Kazutora and Baji leaving the group?

hey look winky wink anon! its your first ask, we're finally here! ^^ its been a while since this episode, but this anime still makes me sad, the manga makes me sadder, and i still have to reread it again because i sped through the first time. honestly this entire blog is just self-indulgent brainrot to fill the hole in my heart

p.s: yall know the same song and dance by now - its 5.30am, brain go brr, will edit as necessary tmr

‎

Recommended Readings: A Friend In Me Part 1

Masterlist

tw: yandere, violence

‎

Leaving You

Yandere Platonic Toman Boys AU

The day started out as many other days did. Or at least that was what he liked to tell himself. Huddled at the furthest end of this shell of a room, today was undoubtedly one of the most miserable days of his life. But that couldn’t be said for the rest that shared this depressing environment. Still pumped off of having none other than Toman’s former First Division Captain, Baji Keisuke himself, join the ranks of Valhalla, the men in their signature white jackets were restless in their waiting for the upcoming fight. The buzz in the air was palpable, and ever so often, Baji felt yet another pair of eyes toss a curious look his way, though they usually dropped their gaze before he could respond with a threatening glare.

The arcade itself was a horrible place to hangout, or to even exist in if he was being honest, the stench of smoke strong and choking with every breath, old, rusting surfaces covered with either cigarette ash or dust. Almost as if they were miles underwater, only the lightest, slightest rays of sunlight made it past the tinted glass doors, and none reached the back of the arcade, where Baji was, seated atop what seemed like a table hockey game in a previous life. At least the bar lights that hung down from the ceiling still served their purpose, casting an almost eerie white glow that seemed befitting of the sea of white jackets, though the men gathered here under the lights were far from angels.

Yet here he was, stuck in this hell he willingly walked into, all Baji could do was turn his attention back down to his phone; the mindless clicking and cycling between old photos and text messages at least serving as a brain-numbing distraction while he spaced out and thought of nothing. But even that was a lie he was trying to feed his brain and heart. As much as he wanted to, as he wished for a blank mind, all he could think of was the pain that his friends were going through, the pain that you were going through.

You haunted him even during the day; the thought of you finding out, as you would eventually, that he was no longer there, no longer a part of the Toman that was built to give you the world. That Baji had left of his own volition to join a rival gang, even after he told you with his own mouth that you had to remain loyal to Toman. Just a few more suffering minutes - hours - that he would have to sit here, tortured by his own thoughts, until he could leave. Until maybe the cool evening breeze kissing his skin could turn his thoughts to something else, or maybe until the last dying rays of sun would take his agony with it so he could get a good night’s sleep.

Biting back yet another sigh, the Toman Captain didn’t need to turn to confirm that Hanma, who had been lounging lazily on his throne of broken games all afternoon, still had one beady eye fixed on his back, just as he had since they gathered in the morning. But who could blame the acting head of Valhalla? He had been a former enemy up till just the previous day after all, and even with the backing of Kazutora, Hanma was right to keep a closer eye on him - Baji would have done the same. Though he silently hoped that the beansprout of a man would let them go - it was exhausting to have to keep up with this act, and Baji craved the warm embrace of his bed - he knew it was unlikely. And so the clock ticked on, and all he could do was listen.

Unknown to the two former Toman founders, the rumbling of the sky outside, a sudden and sharp contrast to the blazing afternoon sun that had been and was still beating down upon the parched earth, foreboded the brewing of a storm. Cautiously crossing the narrow alley road, the only obstacle left between you and the supposed Valhalla hideout, you silently thanked your past self for having the thoughtfulness to pack the current you an umbrella. The weather forecast had promised clear skies and good sun, though after having endured the tormenting heat on your walk here, you were holding out hope that it really did rain and bring some relief. The three full bento boxes, each wrapped in familiar furoshikis, hung heavy from your arm in an otherwise nondescript brown paper bag.

From the outside, the hideout was somewhere that would have never caught your eye or attention, you mused, even as you approached the tinted double glass doors. Old, rundown and falling apart was the feeling you got, and how an entire gang came to occupy this abandoned lot was something you supposed you were never going to find out. Raising one free hand, you could only steel your nerves. Hopefully this went as well as it did in your head.

It was, least to say, pretty puzzling to hear very polite knocks echoing off the glass doors of the old arcade that Valhalla was inhabiting. The gang of closest boys huddled near the doors looked at each other, confused, before the knocks came again, and the culprit shifted closer to the door, their silhouette now clear behind the translucent glass.

“Hello? Is there anyone in?” You called out, almost hesitantly, the nervous pounding of your heart clear on your face even though you tried your best to hide it. You didn’t want to be here, or in this position, for that matter. Maybe it was really a bad idea like what the boys said - even maybe a dangerous one - to come here alone, but at the same time, you didn’t want to drag anyone else into this.

Baji looked up annoyed from his phone, the unusually loud commotion at the door having pulled him out from his thoughts. A good thing, for one, to be distracted from the increasingly depressing spiral he was going down, yet a bad thing at the same time, now that he was back to reality and this shitty situation he was stuck in.

It was almost like he was stuck in a dream; a familiar figure at first, and then you, or hopefully someone that looked like you, appeared through the fog. But if this was really a dream, he could only assume that his dream was starting to border on a nightmare, and he would rather he woke up in hell - dream or not, what he was trapped in wasn’t something Baji would ever wish to get you caught up in.

Yet there you were, the actual physical you, coughing badly, a fragile silhouette against the larger boys around you. Your nose tucked into the crook of one elbow, the other clutched onto your school bag and an all too familiar lunch bag, the sound of clattering bento boxes was already echoing inside his head despite the growing hustle and bustle drowning out the comforting sound. Gripped too hard for your delicate self by one arm by yet another nameless thug, all Baji could do was watch as you desperately tried to pull out of the painful clutch, to back up and out from the cloud of cigarette smoke that seemed to perpetually hang over the arcade, although you didn’t seem to be making much progress against the jeering crowd of delinquents who seemed to swell around you with every passing second. With his newbie status, his hands were all but tied, even if his heart yearned to reach out to you, to beat these shitstains into the ground and take you into his arms. To flee back to Toman. But alas, all he did was watch.

"Boss, we found this little shit loitering outside t…"

His patience at its limit, before Baji could even make to stand and shout, a loud thud, quickly followed by another, as two members collapsed on the floor, Kazutora’s fists having made itself known full-forced into unguarded abdomens, and the sea of white jackets immediately fell silent. “Get lost.”

It was almost impressive how fast they dispersed, with most opting to flee the crowd towards the back of the arcade, waiting till they were far enough from the Valhalla’s Number Three to throw a few dirty looks and mutters, and some instead choosing to vacate the area entirely.

And with the sudden exodus of people around you, you had been all but dumped on the dirty floor, a pathetic, maybe even pitiful sight under the dim, swaying lights of the abandoned arcade, your legs sprayed under you as you hacked and coughed into the crook of your arm. Were you standing? Had you fallen over? You couldn’t even be sure, the lack of breathable air making your sight hazy and your head swirl.

But you must have fallen over at some point, you rationalized, as you were carefully, ever so gently, lifted up, both your arms hauled and tossed over two different sets of shoulders clothed in white jackets you didn’t recognise. One large hand pressed firmly over your nose and mouth to replace where your elbow had been, and you were hauled quickly towards the exit, the bright sunlight bursting into your tender eyes before you could even get your bearings. They stayed, holding back your hair, watching as you dry heaved and coughed the smoke out of your lungs, gulping down the fresh air as quickly as you could. Both Baji and Kazutora knew that you, ever so delicate, always had difficulty breathing around cigarette smoke.

“What were you thinking?” Kazutora muttered under his breath, his eyes having completely lost its earlier crazed look as he soothingly rubbed your back, Baji tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “It’s not good for you in there.”

“I -” You heaved one last time, letting out a slight pant, a weary smile that matched your tired gaze revealed as you finally straightened from where you had been bent over a patch of overgrown grass. “I came to bring you boys lunch. Didn’t mean to get dragged in.”

Yet the moment you regained your bearings, your kind, fond eyes lightening up with excitement and cheer, your arms were thrown over both your friends, pulling them into one of your familiar hugs. Not that they minded in the slightest of course, taking the opportunity to snuggle into your chest, to push their faces into your neck and hair, the weights of their chest that had been there just moments ago from seeing you struggle to breathe lifting.

It seemed no matter where they were, which uniform they wore, you never failed to brighten the lives of everyone around you. Yet the little happy reunion wasn’t meant to last.

“Hey hey, who’s this pretty little thing?” The last voice either of them wanted to hear, cutting through their joy at having you back by their side like a wet knife through butter, had the two boys whirling around, sleezy, honeyed and all around amused.

How dare he, was the only thing that passed through the minds of your friends, as Hanma’s eyes landed on your comparatively smaller figure, wretched golden orbs scanning you up and down. How dare this scum looked upon you with his undeserving eyes, speak to you with his worthless tongue. You were theirs, and theirs alone.

But before Kazutora even had the chance to bare his fangs, to tell this outsider, even if he was the Valhalla Acting Captain, to fuck back off into the hellhole he came from, you had already stepped forward, gingerly taking one giant, filthy, tattooed hand into both of yours.

“You must be the one that has been taking care of Kazutora and Baji for me.” There was no malice, no lies in your smile. Like a spark of light that fell from the sun, bright, kind, genuine, the complete opposite from those fake, insincere, bloodthirsty grins that inhabited his world. You, your smile, your soft, gentle gaze, they weren’t anything that he had seen in the dark underbelly of the delinquent world where Valhalla, and people like him, thrived. “Thank you.”

Pressing a small transparent bag into his hand as you let go, the same kind that he knew all too intimately, instead of the familiar pills and powder that he expected to find inside, the bag was filled with pieces of steaming karaage, a little toothpick poking out of the bag, held up by the tightly done rubber band. “I hope you like karaage. Fried it up a little while ago, so be careful!”

And you were intuitive too, letting go of his hand just quickly enough that your two friends all but growling behind you haven’t the opportunity to leap into action, yet long enough to leave your touch imprinted on his hand. The small wave and ‘bye’ that you tossed at him before hooking your arms into Kazutora’s and Baji’s was enough to leave him wondering, watching as your odd little trio made off to places unknown, quickly disappearing over the curve of the horizon, the bento boxes you had been carrying from the start gently clattering in its bag until fading completely.

“Interesting,” was all Hanma could mutter, a small smile replacing the usual lazy smirk that he wore, as he turned to stroll, not back into the smoky hideout, but in the opposite direction, your bag of karaage held firmly in one hand. No way in hell he was sharing this.

“Tuck in, tuck in.” Spread out on the familiar picnic mat, you dried your wet hands on the back of your school shirt before prying open your own box, a chuckle slipping out when your friends needed no further encouragement, eagerly digging in, shoveling food into their mouths as quickly as they could. After a quick rinse of your hands at the insistence of both Baji and Kazutora, you had made for somewhere quieter to enjoy your lunch, a comfortable silence settling over your little group.

Any questions that had been bubbling up in Baji’s mind, questions about how you knew about Valhalla, about both his and Kazutora’s change in allegiance, about where the Valhalla hideout was, they all but evaporated with the ring of your laughter over the heavenly smell of your cooking, the nostalgia, the comfort of home washing over any doubts he had.

Then more laughter when Kazutora inevitably got a dab of mayo on the tip of his nose, you reaching over to clean your friend’s face. The sun had sunk much lower in the sky as lunch drew to a close, a light breeze having started up sometime when you were eating, tossing your hair and ruffling your school uniform. The boxes were stacked neatly back up, but just as Baji made to replace them in their bag, you stopped him.

"Oh and I almost forgot!” Tossing open the flap of your school bag, you retrieved yet another set of bento boxes, well-camouflaged between a few books and papers, ruffling your signature brown paper bag as you set the new boxes in. “Kazutora, bottom is for dinner tonight, top is Baji’s snack, alright?"

Beaming, your smile had always seemed like a second sun to Baji as you hooked the paper bag handle over Kazutora’s awaiting arm, but even now, the light that usually sparked his dark world was dulled, your smile failing to reach your anxious eyes.

"I’ll see you tomorrow then, Baji, Kazutora."

It took just a little too long for your words to register in Baji’s brain, even as Kazutora waved you off enthusiastically, tucking his hand into his pockets as he made back towards the rundown arcade. Tomorrow? But tomorrow was the big fight. How did you-

But when he snapped back, his hand reaching for you, to grab you, to tell you with a cracking voice he could feel building up in his throat that you had no place in this fight, in his fight, you were already gone. You never did once bring up that you knew throughout the entirety of the lunch, never asked about Valhalla or why Baji and Kazutora were opposing Mikey and Toman. You had just been you the whole time, and Baji didn't like this sinking feeling in his stomach.

You didn’t go straight back home - you couldn’t, not to the quiet, dark, lonely house that awaited you. Instead, your thoughts began to wander, just like how you now wandered darkened streets under the moonless sky with just your phone in hand, back to two nights ago when you found out the true extent of the turmoil stirring behind the iron curtain that you have never been permitted past. The streets were empty of both humans and vehicles, the stillness of the surroundings only broken by the buzz of crickets and the quiet buzz of the street lamps above.

Although you couldn’t say for certain how the two boys that appeared at your front door knew to find you, at the same time, you had to admit that you were grateful for their intervention - you weren’t sure if Mikey and the others would have ever told you. It had, after all, never been their intention to drag you into their world of delinquents, and you had been more than happy to respect their wishes up till now.

Yet all you could do in the moment was to keep wondering to yourself even as you trailed the familiar path home.

On the other side of town, the butterflies that churned in Takemichi’s stomach as he tossed around in bed all but prevented him from a good night’s rest, even when he needed it the most, given the big fight was tomorrow. Having received your message on your failure at reigning in Baji and Kazutora, it seemed that this whole spectre was still going down anyway. Now lying on his back, eyes turned up towards his empty ceiling, the boy couldn’t help but recall how yet another individual was dragged into this mess, dragged into a mess that he had a hand in creating.

The afternoon sun was still high in the sky, but both Chifuyu and Takemichi already knew deep in their guts that the earlier meeting with Baji that had all but collapsed meant that their hands were now tied. Even as the light breeze helped to somewhat dull the raging heat, kissing their skin and lifting the sweat that beaded on their forehead, it did nothing to calm the anxiety churning in Takemichi's stomach.

There just must be something else that they could do. Someone that could just talk sense into either Baji or Kazutora. "Chifuyu-kun, I -" His nails dug hard into the flesh of his palm, the hopelessness of the situation finally settling in long after the adrenaline faded, the echo of his footsteps dying off as the duo shuffled into the shelter of a bus stop, a temporarily respite from baking in the sun. “There must be something else we can do.”

All he received in response was a sigh, Chifuyu running one hand through his hair, the perspiration bouncing merrily on the ends of his hair.

“There is someone who might be able to help. But I’m not sure-” He trailed off, his gaze seemingly turning to stare off into the distance. Anything involving you, or even talking about you, inside or outside Toman was risky business, and Chifuyu understood that all too well.

“We need to try.”

Another sigh, the Toman Vice Captain opting to fish out his phone from the pockets of his black uniform instead of responding, keying in a number that Takemichi couldn’t see, and taking a few steps out into the sunlight before holding up the phone to his ear.

“- Alright, understood. Thanks again.” The snapping shut of Chifuyu’s phone only seemed to add to the tension between the duo, as he turned to take the same few steps back under the shade, his eyes turning up from his phone to meet Takemichi’s. "Just shut up and follow me, alright?"

Having been led down winding paths and through narrow, smelly alleyways between towering buildings, Takemichi could barely tell where he was, blindly following Chifuyu’s mob of golden hair through areas of the city he never knew existed. The sunlight didn't reach down here, and the boy had to be all but yanked back, down behind a few waylaid trash cans, right before he almost stumbled out into the alluring sunlight, out from the shadows of the small back lane that overlooked what seemed like a quiet river.

And right there, under the shade of a tilted tree, was you, tucked away in a little alcove that overlooked the gently flowing river. But you weren’t alone, a mob of golden hair anyone would recognise lying, sleeping perhaps, cuddled in your lap, one of your hands running ever so gently through his hair even as the other quickly cooling the two of you briskly with what looked like a small black folding fan.

"The final founding member of Toman." Came Chifuyu's whispered response to Takemichi’s unasked question. You were the open secret that all members in Toman knew about, but were barred from acknowledging on the pain of assured death. Your name was only mumbled below breaths when new members were briefed, away from the listening ears of the captains, and more so the founders - those who had survived long enough knew what awaited any that dared to even mention you on their unworthy tongues. Mikey barely looked like himself with you, peaceful, asleep, comfortable. He looked his age for once, mused Takemichi, even as he squinted against the harsh sunlight.

Grabbing your hand mid-comb, the two boys watched as the Toman founder got up from where he had been lying, and with uncharacteristic gentleness, intertwined his fingers with yours as he helped you up.

“We’ll follow them.” Yet before Takemichi could make a move, he was yet again yanked back down. Confusion washing over his face, it only took a second to follow the hand clutching his sleeve in a death grip back to his Chifuyu’s face to realize that the calm, collected facade he was all too familiar with had been replaced with a ghostly pale face, the fear all too visible in his now quaking eyes, the first time ever he had seen his partner shaking in his boots.

“This -” Chifuyu swallowed hard. “This is a bad idea.”

“We don’t have a choice.” Came Takemichi’s muttered response, as he hurriedly threw another glance back at the river bank. Good, you and Mikey were still there, Mikey seemingly taking his time to snuggle his face into your neck. “We need to stop Baji-kun.”

“You don’t know what you’re messing with.” Nothing ended well with you involved, and memories, too many memories, welled up from the dark recesses of his mind where he had forced them away, the consequences of tangling with you, where getting off with just a few broken bones was considered merciful. His own close brush with death was, of course, at the forefront of his mind, and Chifuyu loathed to find out his fate should the Toman founders ever find out what they were considering at the moment. To not only look at you, but to talk to you? Without them there? What would Baji-san think?

“Chifuyu-kun, this is our last chance to stop this fight.” The determination that sparked in the other’s eyes was almost convincing, but what changed his mind wasn’t that, far from it. It was the fear that shone through in Takemichi’s gaze, clear and simple, even with the resolution that Chifuyu could see burning fiercely alongside.

“Fine. But you follow my lead. You understand? We are as good as dead if we get caught.”

And so Takemichi did, quietly following behind Chifuyu, their duo lightly treading after you and Mikey as the two of you seemed to trail almost aimlessly all afternoon and evening, keeping to the quiet, dark alleyways where they could watch as you snacked your way through town. Countless numbers of taiyakis and sweets were bought and lightly fed to Mikey, you laughing brightly when the same snacks were pressed into your mouth. Yet all the while, it didn't escape them that your fingers stayed tightly locked with Mikey’s.

And finally, after an eternity of creeping and crawling through god-knows what in Tokyo’s dirty back alleys, you led them straight to your home. Though being at the distance they were at, and night having already bled into the sky, a merciful relief from the heat of the day, neither Chifuyu nor Takemichi could confirm if Mikey had left your house. It was just a risk they had to take, the duo decided wordlessly, waiting just long enough after your room’s lights had gone off before making their way up to your porch.

A few short, light raps seemed to do the trick to summon you to the front door, the duo outside not daring to risk pressing the doorbell. A small pop, and the door opened a crack, the moonlight slipping through and illuminating you against the black backdrop of your unlit house.

“Can I help you?”

The dim white light from the half moon only seemed to make your eyebags look even darker, your drowsy gaze looking them up and down before finally sharpening into focus when you recognised their uniform. Toman uniforms.

But just as Chifuyu began to speak, the first syllables of his name having barely left his lips, you had already put a finger to your lips, your tired gaze flicking up for just a second, back in the direction of your room he supposed, before turning back to them. You had a guest, it seemed, someone who was better off remaining asleep.

A quick nod. "Matsuno Chifuyu, Toman First Division Vice Captain." The whispered introduction was still loud against your silent neighbourhood, though the stillness was broken by the occasional rustle of leaves.

"Hanagaki Takemichi."

Your weary, yet gentle eyes seemed to peer through them into their souls, though your gaze was quickly broken by a yawn that escaped up from between your lips. “I don’t have long, but what can I do for you boys?”

Everything spilled out like the unstoppable tide. Baji leaving Toman, Kazutora and Valhalla, in rapid, hushed mutters, bit by bit, you learned everything that your friends had been hiding from you. No, not hiding. This was their world, the same one that your six friends had been trying to protect you from, even as they moved in the shadows to build their promised future for you. And you listened ever so patiently, gently running one hand through Chifuyu’s hair as desperate tears welled up and spilled over red eyes, an almost soothing presence in the difficult tale.

"I promise I'll do everything I can." A slight grumble that floated down the corridor seemed to be like a bell, you removing your hands from them and barely managing to wave a quick goodbye to them before the door closed silently behind you, the click of the lock signalling the end of their short time with you. They heard your steps lightly patter away, up what seemed like stairs before completely fading away.

“Go and get some rest.” Chifuyu mumbled, the day’s events having thoroughly exhausted him, even as he cleaned his face on his sleeve. “Fight’s in two days.”

“Who was that?” Came the quiet mutter, Mikey snuggling into your arms, pushing his face into your chest as you wrapped your arms tight back around him.

“No one you need to worry about, Mikey. Go back to sleep.”

As inevitable as the sun would rise, the chime of a bell in the distance signalled that the long awaited clash of giants was here. Tokyo Manji Gang, baring down the larger Valhalla. And the fight went down about how Baji had expected. Under the blazing afternoon sun, the heat radiating from the dirt floor and rusting metal seemed like just another minor annoyance as Toman and Valhalla members rushed each other, a clash of a sea of white and black. Once pristinely kept uniforms were splattered with sweat and blood as fists flew and bones crunched, the cries of angers and groans of pain resounding and echoing off the sheet metal and other various abandoned materials.

Even as he waited and watched from his vantage point, his shaking fist clenched tightly, tucked into the pocket of his white Valhalla jacket, forcing himself to do nothing as Hanma intercepted Draken, even as Kazutora slowly lured Mikey away from the rest of Toman, his mind kept wandering back to you. Keen eyes scanning the battlefield, Baji missed nothing, not even Kisaki behind the pile of scrap cars awaiting his move, yet there was still no sign of you. You never lied to them, not to Baji, not to the rest. And it was this that Baji hasn’t yet decided if was good or bad. Did you make the right decision - the wise decision - to stay away?

An open shot at Kisaki, the rush of adrenaline and battle, was what finally broke his train of thoughts away from you.

Yet when he was all but tackled by Takemichi, the same short, blond boy who had attempted to stop him with words, after having brushed away his weak-willed Vice Captain with a heavy heart, short, quick footsteps rushed him from behind, the loud pounding of boots on metal, and - nothing.

Then came the quavering whimper of your name, and his heart sank even before he could whirl around, the sight of you between him and Kazutora seemingly pulled straight from the deepest recesses of his nightmares.

You heard your name croaked out, almost uncertainty, by a voice so familiar yet unidentifiable, before your legs gave way and you collapsed under your own weight. You never did hit the ground - stopped before you could by someone you couldn’t see, but with the sharp pain that you never thought you could feel now flooding your body and mind, it wasn’t like you could tell the difference. Looking down, though you probably shouldn’t have, only sent another wave of intensive pain through your body, the short handle of the knife Kazutora had just been holding mere seconds ago now sticking out of your abdomen, the patch of red on your previously white shirt spreading slowly but surely.

“Oops,” You breathed, your hand wandering weakly over to your new wound, gently feeling the growing wetness, wincing when your fingers brushed the wrong spot.

The sunlight was harsh on your eyes and your blurring gaze, and you knew that all too well; closing them would be a sorely welcomed relief. Yet your heart screamed at you, fighting to keep them open anyway - the last thing you needed in this moment was to give your friends the wrong ideas. As you were lowered ever so gently to the ground, Kazutora's stunned face and quaking, watering eyes seemed to have been shoved aside, replaced by other familiar, albeit worried, faces.

"The fuck you still standing around for, Kazutora!" Draken roared, dashing over to where you laid, the fight with Hanma having been quickly and strikingly ended with a single blow from Mikey. "Someone call an ambulance!"

"I-I…" Yet all Kazutora could do was stare down at his blood-stained hands. Blood, on his hands. Was it his blood? Mikey’s blood? Your blood? He stabbed you with his own two hands. You.

"Ambulance is on its way!" Someone called back, and the carpark lot erupted into mumbles and mutters. Was this it? The end of Valhalla vs Toman? Who won?

“Don’t you dare let go, Takemichi.” Baji cursed, quickly stripping off his jacket and tearing a long strip off his shirt, before dropping to his knees, shaky hands ever so delicately peeling back your stained shirt, wrapping the makeshift bandage around the knife and the wound. The blood that oozed out even as he worked was all but taunting his efforts."Bring some shade over!"

But it seemed your efforts to fight your heavy eyelids were in vain, your consciousness fading for what seemed like a mere second to you, everything going black before you blinked, the crunch of a boot into bone forcing your exhausted eyes to open once more. The sun was still right above you where it had been all this while, yet it seemed that time had ticked on in the almost ten minutes you were out.

“I thought we were keeping this between us, Kazutora!” Came the roar from an all too familiar voice, as yet another crunch filled the otherwise tranquil surrounding, where out of your sight, Mikey’s fist smashed full force into Kazutora’s face. How dare he drag you into their world? The unasked question was loud and clear to the pale faced Toman members who knew you only by the rumours that swirled when the captains weren’t present, and even clearer to the almost ghostly white Chifuyu, who by now almost seemed like he was about to hurl.

“Mikey, stop.” Your weak voice barely reached the ears of the now frantic Baji, who only paused to take in your now half open eyes, even as Draken’s head seemed to bob in and out of the corner of your hazy sight.

Metal pipe flashing through the air, the few shiny surfaces left twinkling in the sun before smashing hard into Mikey, the red of the blood that splattered onto both boys’ faces - it was still all too clear, all too fresh in your mind and in the black behind your eyelids. If never having to see your cherished friends beat each other to a pulp meant getting up, meant swallowing the screaming pain in your abdomen, you would do it. And you tried, your lead-weighted hands reaching out to turn yourself on your side, grasping at the nothingness beside you as you all but forced your legs to move.

“Mikey -”

“No! You have to stay down!” Hands, familiar hands, rougher than they have ever been with you, steadied you even as your legs were knocked back down, but that seemed to do the trick, instantly catching the Toman President’s attention, stopping him mid-punch.

“Mikey, it wasn’t Kazutora.”

Footsteps, heavy steps in your direction that grew louder and louder as they approached. And then his face, one too hard to miss even through the haze, appeared overhead in your view - Mikey's blank stare that hid his anger and worry so well, his concern clear to you as he trailed one hand down your face, before turning his attention to the knife still buried in your flesh. In that instance, you knew that this petty fight was over and done - if Mikey was here with you, mission accomplished, you mused, letting out one shaky breath.

You knew what he wanted to ask. Then who did it? Who told you? Who dared drag you into this world, without their permission? Yet all you did was allow your gaze to slide almost meekly away. You never lied to your precious friends, and if you couldn't tell the truth, it was better not to answer.

There was no breeze that broke the suddenly stilled lot, the fighting having long died down since your name screamed above and across the clash, though the sun was uncaring, the heat and humidity continuing to steadily build across the dirt-covered floor upon which you were now rested.

The scream of the sirens only grew louder and louder as the crowd that had once gathered for a fight now began to disperse, with no particular party interested in being caught up in the mess that was bound to follow.

“Mikey.” Turning back at the call of his name, Kazutora was now locked in a ninety degrees bow, hands locked behind his back.

"I'll stay here," He mumbled, gaze turned down towards the ground. "I'll take responsibility. For Shinchiro’s death. For everything." For dragging you into this entire debacle.

“Fine.” Was all he received in response, and one last sweep of that signature long black Toman coat, the Toman founder in his white jacket found himself alone with you, still resting on the ground.

"You'll be okay, Kazutora." Mumbling, you shifted slightly as your friend pulled your head into his lap, trying to find a comfortable spot even as the shriek of the ambulance sirens drew nearer. "I'll be okay too, so don't worry alright?"

Even as you laid bleeding out on the filthy floor, your breath starting to come in gasps instead of the even ones you had been taking just five minutes earlier, it was clear that your thoughts were still completely on him.

“Over here, this way!”

Kazutora’s head shot up instantly from where he had been fixated, his fingers tangled in your locks, the shadow he casted over you providing a much needed relief from the sun - that was a voice he recognised, a voice that he knew.

“Hurry!” Another familiar voice cut through the silence. Baji and Draken, his mind finally registered. They were coming back. And for the once time in what seemed like forever, hope blossomed in his chest, a drop of water on a parched land. If they were back, it meant only one thing.

"Kazutora," Your mumble reached him even with the sudden hustle and bustle that sprouted up around the two of you, even as you were rushed past him in a stretcher and out of the now deserted lot, lacking the strength to keep both eyes open, still reaching out weakly for your friend.

Forgiveness.

His yellow, stunned eyes were all but locked on your fading visage, the boy failed to notice that there was a second stretcher, and that the medics were speaking to him. Still trapped in his own head, the thought of being forgiven still an almost unthinkable thought with your blood on his hands and jacket, the words spoken at him were nothing more than a buzz in his ears, the poking and prodding a minor annoyance. But his spire was immediately broken when he was picked up by his collar, to the horror of the awaiting medics, and all but carelessly thrown into the awaiting stretcher by Draken, his bored gaze having turned on his old friend once you had been safely strapped in. "Kazutora, you need treatment too."

“Baji, you go with him.”

Now with you being rushed to hospital, the sirens signalling the blaze of the ambulances through the city and towards the hospital, as much as Mikey yearned to be with you, you were in good hands, with both Baji and Draken now by your side. And the Toman President could turn his attention to a more urgent matter, now a fair distance away from where everything had gone down.

“Chifuyu, Takemitchy.”

Both boys froze mid step.

“A word.”

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[mypoisonedvine]

the martyrdom of st. valentine (and other romantic stories) || dark!Bucky & dark!(stepbrother?)Steve x reader

summary: you wanted to surprise your boyfriend on valentine's day, but he and your foster brother have a surprise of their own.

word count: 2.7k

warnings: smut (heavy dubcon to the point of pretty much noncon), kinda stepcest (as per summary, steve is the reader's foster brother), bondage, a lil touch of degradation

2/14 to-do list

get waxed

get Steve out of the apartment

pick up chocolate-covered strawberries from bakery on 6th

blindfold and handcuff myself to the bed

be waiting for Bucky naked when he gets here

You sighed as you looked down at the paper, crossing the first and third items off the list. The second was going to be a bit harder, unfortunately; your foster brother had a habit of hanging around and cramping your style as much as he could manage. He felt like a real brother in that way… okay, maybe he felt like a real brother in most ways, a consequence of knowing him for most of your life, but he was definitely not your real brother. You remembered that each time you caught yourself staring too long when he was shirtless, or returning from the gym all veiny and glistening with sweat.

But you also remembered that he was still the closest thing to a real brother you'd ever had, and you scolded yourself internally for ever acting differently.

It didn’t matter now— you had Bucky, and he was the most amazing guy you’d ever met.  No, Steve was definitely not happy that introducing his best friend to his sister led to a relationship forming, but he couldn’t stop either of you in spite of his efforts to keep you apart.

Bucky had once expressed his suspicions that it was at least in part due to jealousy, if subliminal.  But you denied it unilaterally— he’s basically my brother, you told him, though it was more of a reminder to yourself than anything.

Perverted concerns about Steve’s motivations aside, Bucky was a great guy.  A bit of a sweet-talker for sure, and not exactly known for his ability to keep a long-term, serious relationship, but he was adamant that you had changed that and for once you were beginning to believe him.  You’d said from the beginning that you didn’t need this to be the proverbial ‘it’ for either of you but that you didn’t do hook-ups— especially with your brother’s friends, and extra especially with your brother’s closest and longest friend.  It only took a brief speech and two shots to convince you, now six months later and you were still going strong.

Days like this made you so happy you’d given in to his advances.  But they also made you regret giving in to Steve’s idea to be roommates in college.

“Stevie!” you yelped as he walked in, stuffing the to-do list into your backpocket.  “Just the man I wanted to see.”

“I doubt that,” he scoffed.  “It’s Valentine’s Day, I bet you want to see Bucky.  He’s coming over, right?  And you want me to fuck off so my best friend can go to town on my sister?”

You frowned, crossing your arms.  “I wanted to see you because I have a gift for you.”

“... you do?”  His eyebrow raised and you hoped your smirk looked just as smug as it felt.

“So do you want your gift or do you want to be an asshole?”

“Do I have to pick just one?” he joked.

“Just come over here,” you instructed, waving him closer.  He seemed hesitant, but eventually did as you’d asked.  From your other back pocket you pulled out two tickets.

“Rangers, center ice,” you beamed.  “For you and a date.”

“And this isn’t just an excuse to get me out of the house?”

“No, it’s a thank you for being such a great brother.”

“So, if I wanted to take Bucky…” he trailed off, already calling your bluff as you rolled your eyes.

“Okay, that’s just sad.  There’s no reason you can’t find a girl to take— god knows Bucky hasn’t spent a Valentine’s Day alone since the fucking eighth grade.  And you’re just as cute as he is!”

“Well, if you could alert the rest of the female population to that, that would be great,” he scoffed, “but until then I’ll take the tickets,” he decided as he took them from your hand.  “A Rangers game might be the only thing distracting enough to keep me from thinking about what you and Buck are gonna do while I’m gone.”

You were hoping for a little more enthusiasm considering how much the tickets had cost you, but at least he was going to go and give you the apartment to yourself for the evening.  “You’re welcome, by the way.”

After stripping and sprinkling rose petals on the comforter, you'd actually found a YouTube tutorial on how to blindfold and handcuff oneself, and it was a little odd that enough people had this problem to merit its existence but it was still very helpful: turns out the secret is to blindfold yourself first but keep it folded up with one eye able to see until you do the handcuffs, then use your arm to slide the blindfold down into place.

It was tricky, and a little bit extra awkward while naked, but you figured it out and smiled proudly to yourself as you completed your last task on your to-do list.

Now, for likely the most difficult task of all: waiting in darkness and silence for Bucky to arrive.

Apparently it is, in fact, possible to be slightly bored yet titillated.  The thought of what Bucky would do to you when he got here was exciting, but it only made you crave his presence more which enhanced your quiet loneliness.  It wasn't like you could read a book or listen to music to kill the time, so you settled for humming to yourself as you waited.

Don't go changing, to try and please me, something something before, hmmm

I just want someone that I can talk to, I want you just the way you are...

But that grew tiresome quickly and you resorted instead to planning exacty how angry you would be if Bucky was late when you were waiting for him in such a compromising and inconvenient state.  For a moment you imagined he'd really gone to the Rangers game with Steve and became briefly livid over a hypothetical situation.

The crackling roar of Bucky's motorcycle outside was distant but undeniable, making you smile in anticipation.  You worried for a moment that you might have locked the top lock of the front door by instinct, but thankfully Bucky and to make it inside alright since next thing you knew, your bedroom door was opening.

The rattle of the doorknob made your breath catch; you opened your legs slowly in time with the quiet creak of the hinges.  “I’ve been waiting for you…” you purred.

“Hi there, babydoll,” Bucky’s voice answered back huskily.

The heavy steps of his boots made it clear he hadn't taken his shoes off at the door, a habit that had driven you crazy since he was your annoying brother's also-annoying best friend.  Was this the real reason he'd chained you up, so he could freely irritate you?  What next, was he gonna put a cold drink on your nightstand without a coaster?

"You really went all out for me, sweetheart," he noticed, his voice closer than you'd expected; it was fun to not know exactly where he would be, it made you squirm under the gaze you couldn't see but could somehow feel.

How weight joining yours on the bed was a good sign to his location though, along with his hands sliding up your legs.

“Look at this pretty pussy,” he cooed pridefully as he dove in suddenly and licked a thick stripe through your folds.

“Fuck,” you shivered, tugging on your handcuffs unintentionally.

“Feel good, babygirl?” he pressed, chuckling when you nodded.  “You want more?”

“Please,” you whimpered.

He didn’t get back to it right away, the weight on the bed shifting slightly, and it made you fear that he planned to make you beg more before eating you out— but finally his lips returned to you as his tongue explored your sex.

“Oh god,” you moaned, your back arching of its own volition.  It was a little different than he normally did this— less confident and measured, more cautious yet hungry.  Typically he teased you a lot more, knowing exactly the spots that drove you wild and intentionally leaving them understimulated until you begged him to let you come, but now as soon as he found them he was targeting them— perhaps a rare show of mercy from the guy who was normally happy to leave you on edge for hours.

You could feel his moans vibrating into you when he slid his tongue inside and against your channel; it instantly made your back arch as the handcuffs quietly clinked above your head.

He stopped just a little too soon, pulling your hips up until the back of your legs were resting on the front of his.  Being manhandled by him turned you on enough to make you bite your lip.

"Fuck, put your cock in me, wanna feel you," you moaned your plea as you heard the rustling of clothes; your mouth watered when you imagined Bucky stripping, with that insane body of his.

His thick head glided over your entrance and you were preparing to beg some more when he suddenly pushed in, giving you what you wanted so much faster than normal.  Not that you were complaining!

He was also much quieter than normal, which you were actually willing to complain about but didn't.

"Oh god," you groaned at the feeling of him stretching you open, gasping when his cock brushed right over your spot— it made your body jolt each time he pulled back and hit it again.

"Feels good, huh?" Bucky asked and you nodded happily.

"So good," you whimpered.

"I wasn't asking you."

Before you could question it, Bucky’s calloused fingers pulled up your blindfold— but it was Steve’s face above you, Steve’s body on top of yours… and, much to your horror, Steve’s cock inside you.

“What the fuck?!” you yelped, trying to squirm away as you tugged at the cuffs but failing completely.

“Fuck,” Steve winced, “you get really tight when you struggle like that.”

“Don’t act so surprised, babygirl,” Bucky cooed playfully as you turned to stare at his devilish grin.  “You wanted this… you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself.  And Stevie here always wanted this, too, and aren’t you so glad he told me?”

You shuddered as Steve continued thrusting, pushing his cock so deep it made you feel a little nauseous.  "Steve, you've gotta stop," you begged.   "If you love me, you'll stop."

"That's the thing: I love you too much to stop."

He moved faster, paying no mind to your confused whimpers, holding your hips tight as his head fell back slightly which brandished his thick neck and bobbing Adam's apple.

"There's no point in pretending," Bucky reminded you coldly, watching the whole thing with crossed arms and an expression that almost looked… bemused?  "You already showed us how much you love it, so don't waste your time acting so disgusted now."

You regretted more than anything saying that it felt good, literally asking him to fuck you before you really understood what you were asking for: you thought it was Bucky, yes, but that didn't mean it was an act.  It did feel good, and that must've been obvious to everyone since you were so wet already.  You could hear it each time he pushed all the way in, that telltale squelching noise that was somehow disgusting and hot all at once.

Steve wasn't so quiet now that he didn't have to be.  "God, you feel so good," he whispered, grabbing the backs of your knees and pushing your legs up.  It forced his cock even deeper and you choked on your own suppressed moan.

You heard Bucky opening his belt, and turned your head to see him pull out and stroke his cock while he watched Steve fuck you.  It was hard to imagine what he was getting out of this; he never seemed like the sharing type, if anything he sometimes became too possessive.  But clearly there was a lot about him and Steve that you didn't understand.

"Play with her tits," Bucky instructed, voice a bit deeper as he pleasured himself, "makes her come so fast."

Steve dropped your legs to rest on his shoulders so his hands were free to grope your chest, thick fingers twisting and tugging your nipples.  Annoyingly, Bucky knew his way around your body well by now, and so it was difficult to pretend that Steve's touches weren't sending shocks of pleasure right down your spine and to your core.

You had been biting on your lip so hard to stay quiet that you feared you would break the skin, until Bucky leaned down and gave you a little slap on the cheek— not very hard, but enough to make you gasp which in turn released the moan you'd been holding back.

"There it is, honey, don't be quiet for my benefit," Bucky encouraged.  "It's okay to like it, I'm not gonna be jealous."

As if that was your concern; angering your boyfriend by enjoying being fucked by your foster brother.  

"You really overestimate my interest in your— fuck— in your feelings," you panted as you glared up at Bucky where he was grinning down at you with a look that almost indicated pride.

"You're gonna come, aren't you?" he asked, ignoring your resistance entirely.  Whatever chance you had at pretending he was wrong was lost when, just for a moment, your eyes widened at his question.  "Yeah, thought so.  I can tell by that dumb look on your face.  I'm close too, babydoll, betcha wanna taste it…"

His free hand roughly held your jaw open as he stroked himself desperately, his weak groan coinciding with the moment you felt his hot seed spray into your open mouth, his taste familiar despite the entirely surreal circumstances.

It was purely coincidence that you came in that moment, your walls bearing down on Steve while you tried to stay silent so you wouldn't choke on Bucky's spend.

"Fuck, that's it, gonna fill this pretty mouth— god yes, you'd better swallow it all," he sighed as come painted your tongue and the inside of your cheek.  Maybe it was more than normal or maybe it was just that he was tightening his hand around the head of his cock to get every drop in your mouth, but either way it was enough to give you quite a mouthful to swallow, which you did without much question due to force of habit.

"M’close too," Steve warned as Bucky stepped back, "I'm gonna come."

“No, Steve, not inside,” you whimpered, hearing the way your voice had weakened after your orgasm, “you can’t…”

“I can,” he disagreed, “Bucky said so.”

Once again, Bucky's will was more important than your own, and your desperate pulling at the handcuffs was only another reminder of the way you'd guided yourself into his trap.

"Don't," you stammered one more time, but it was hard to focus when he was filling you exactly how you needed, when his thick hands gripping your waist felt just as perfect as you'd secretly imagined so many times… 

Denial is a powerful drug, but so is two orgasms in a row.

"Fuck!" you yelped as you felt a gush of warmth drip from your entrance, even further wetness spurring on Steve's fast and brutal thrusts into you.

"Knew you'd love it," Steve mumbled, growling slightly as he slammed into you.  "Knew you'd take it so well, make a pretty mess all over my cock— fuck I can't wait anymore, gotta fill you up, oh my god... gotta give you my load, honey, you want it?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "Steve, yes, come in me…"

He didn't need much more encouragement than that, groaning loudly as you felt his cock flex and pulse against your walls, his release overwhelmingly hot inside you.

You sighed in time with Steve as he finally stilled, and it was hard to know where to look when Steve and Bucky were both staring down at you.  “What happens now?” you found yourself asking, not so much a literal question about the next task but more about what the three of you were going to do with all the unfortunate truths that had come to light in less than half an hour.

“What happens now is I take my turn,” Bucky informed you sternly, pushing Steve aside.  “Did you really think I wasn’t gonna fuck my girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?”

#dark!stucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!bucky barnes smut #dark!steve rogers smut

[forever-rogue]

hey, you're incredible and amazing and I hope you're taking care of yourself 🥺💖 if you are still taking request, can you write something for Frankie o Marcus Pike? from promt list 1, number 1 "a wedding?" and number 65 "hold my hand dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!"

love you 💖

I went with Frankie and I hope you enjoy 💕🥺

Frankie x Fem!Reader ; warnings: slight language

Frankie Masterlist 

»»————-　♡　————-««

You almost bowled Frankie over as you threw open the door and welcomed yourself into his house. You had knocked and at the loud pounding he had almost dropped what he was doing in order to come and answer. Instead of waiting, you'd used your spare key to his house and let yourself in.

"Oh, hello there," he said as he closed the door behind you with an amused grin on his face. As soon as he saw the distressed look on your face, his own faltered, "what's wrong, Bee?"

"Everything, Francisco!" you groaned as you opened the fridge to grab out a beer. You made quick work of opening it and taking a large swig before sitting down at the counter, "I have once again single handedly fucked myself over!"

"You want to elaborate a little more on that?" he asked as he helped himself to a drink and joined you. He'd been busy preparing everything for your weekly movie night, hadn't been expecting you for a little while - not that he ever minded you being around. Sighing heavily, you rested your head on his shoulder, "what could possibly be so bad?"

"You remember my ex - Brad?" Frankie immediately groaned - for reasons both the same and different to yours. You nodded in acknowledgment.

"Ew, Brad."

"Yup," you laid your head on the table before letting out a long sigh, "well Brad is getting married. And guess who is invited? Me - and my boyfriend."

"You don't...have a boyfriend," he reminded you as you just threw up your hands in exasperation, “so…”

“I know, I know, I know,” you groaned as you took another drink, “it just came out - here he is all fancy and getting married and I’m just...not. I didn’t want to look like a total idiot and be all oh yes, of course I’m still single but would love to come to your wedding alone. So...apparently I have a boyfriend. I need to find a fake boyfriend or find a damn good excuse for why my boyfriend couldn’t make it at the last minute.”

“Shit,” Frankie couldn’t help but laugh at your little dilemma as you groaned at yourself. You just couldn’t keep your big mouth shut it appeared. When had it ever done you any good? Never. You should have learned by now. A few beats of silence fell over the two of you before he suddenly made a small sound, “I’ll do it.”

“Do what?” you raised your eyebrows as your heart started to beat wildly in your chest. Sure, you might have been in love with your best friend and have been for some time, but you’d never ask him to do such a thing. You’d purposely pushed that thought to the back of your mind as quickly as it had bubbled up. It would make things infinitely more complicated - and what if something happened and you slipped up and confessed your love for him? That was a situation you’d rather avoid all together if possible. 

“Come with you,” he grinned, clearly proud of his brilliant idea. He wondered if you could hear the loud pounding of his own heart; as soon as you’d mentioned the idea of a fake boyfriend he’d grown excited. Was this his opportunity to finally come clean and tell all the ways in which he loved you? Maybe, maybe not. But if he didn’t try, he’d never know, “I’ll be your boyfriend - fake boyfriend.”

“Oh Frankie,” you couldn’t help but smile at the sweet look on his face. Gods, how could anyone not fall in love with him? But reason quickly took over you and you weakly shook your head, “no, it’s okay. I couldn’t ask you to do something like that.”

“I want to,” he insisted with a soft ruffle to your hair before he could stop himself, “come on - what are best friends for, Bee? Besides its just a wedding...”

“I don’t know...I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to..”

“I want to,” he promised softly, “come on, it’ll be fine - you might even have fun! Besides - I want to see you break out some more of those amazing dance moves!”

“Frankie…”

“What could go wrong, Honey Bee? It’s the perfect solution!

I could fall harder in love with you. I could confess my love to you. I could make a huge fool out of myself. I might never get over you. 

“Okay,” you agreed before you could stop yourself. The excited look on his face was enough to make you melt as he just grinned from ear to ear, “let’s do it.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Wow,” Frankie’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, his megawatt grin enough to make you melt. He held his hand out to you, ever the gentleman, which you took as he pulled you in for a hug. You’d agreed to meet at the venue, and go from there; it probably would have looked more convincing if you’d arrived together, but you weren’t sure if you could handle anything more than what was needed. As soon as you spotted him, your heart started doing flips in your stomach, “you look absolutely beautiful.”

“What about you, handsome?” you ran a hand through his dark locks, unsure if you were doing it out of your own volition or you were playing the part of doting girlfriend, “you clean up pretty well yourself.”

“Thanks,” he whispered softly as a tinge of pink flushed up into his cheeks. He politely greeted a few passersby. You repeated the action, remembering a few faces from when you had dated Brad a few years earlier, “hold my hand Bee - we have to make this look convincing!”

Something came over you and you were quite sure what possessed you, but you took his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together, before leaning over and offering him a kiss. He hesitated for a mere fraction of a second, unsure of how to respond, but then offered a simple, saccharine little kiss. 

And it was electric - sending shivers down your spine as your whole body warmed up. People always spoke about seeing those proverbial sparks when they kissed the one. And this...this had to be it. 

Opening your eyes, you found Frankie looking back at you in awe and momentarily wondered if he had felt the same thing. A gentle expression softened his features as he looked at you in wonder. Maybe...maybe you’d both felt it...but no. Surely not. You wouldn’t flatter yourself with the idea that Francisco Morales fancied you like you did him.

“Gotta act the part, right?” you teased nervously as you started pulling himself in the venue, “come on, boyfriend!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

The rest of the ceremony was spent in comfortable silence as the two of you sat close to each other, but still leaving a small distance between your bodies. It was almost like the two of you could feel that something had shifted, even with the smallest of kisses. You were hyper-aware of his closeness to you the entire time, feeling his body heat radiate onto you, your entire being humming with excited, yet nervous energy. Little did you know that Frankie was feeling the exact same thing, all the while trying to figure out how to finally (finally!) tell you about his true feelings. 

His hand was resting on the wood of the aging bench, next to yours, but not touching. Both of you consciously, or subconsciously, kept inching your hands closer and closer until eventually they were touching. Frankie seemed to overcome his nerves and put his hand on top of yours before gently squeezing it as a sign of ressaurance, before lacing your fingers together. The smell gesture was enough to kickstart your heart and you were unable, or unwilling, to keep the smile off of your face. 

What was suddenly happening?

»»————-　♡　————-««

After the ceremony, a beautiful affair - even you had to admit - the two of you went to the reception, still buzzing happily, but unable to quite form the right words. Whatever was happening, it was coming fast, and honestly...it had been a long time coming for the both of you. Neither of you tried to fight it anymore, deciding to let whatever happened, happen. 

“Listen, Bee,” after you’d gotten to the reception and the bride and groom had cut the cake and had their first dance, Frankie finally gathered up the courage to speak. He reached for your hand and held it tightly, “there’s something I need to tell you -"

“Hey! You made it!” Brad wore a beaming grin he came over and still managed to steal Frankie's thunder; he tried not to let his expression falter too much, "you look great!"

"Wouldn't miss it," you said - only a small lie - before reaching down and grabbing Frankie's hand. Despite your initial hesitations, you were glad you came, and honestly happy for him, "and two make a lovely couple. I'm so happy for you both - really. You deserve it."

"As do the two of you," he grinned, grabbing Frankie's shoulder and giving it a squeeze, "the two of you! Can't say I'm surprised though...always thought the two of you had a little something going on. How long has it been official?"

"Oh umm…" you gave Frankie a look of surprise as you tried to think on your feet. He looked just as thrown off as you did, "a-a couple of years. We've been together for a...bit."

"Time to make an honest woman out of her, Morales!" Frankie's expression paled as your eyes widened in surprise. But he was quick on his feet and chuckled lightly, "I'm happy for you guys too. Who would have thought? I guess most of us did...anyway! Thank you both for coming and have fun - open bar!"

"Thanks," you both managed to weakly say as the groom bounced away to greet other guests. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turned to Frankie and offered him a meager smile.

"Yeah...so I guess the whole fake boyfriend thing worked!" you cheered lightly, trying to keep the situation from turning any more awkward than it was, "we could...probably just leave honestly. Maybe grab a pizza and drinks and watch a movie?"

"Do you want to dance?" he completely changed course with his question, his voice nervous and almost cracking in anticipation. You paused for a moment before deciding that yes...you really, really wanted to slow dance with Frankie.

"I'd love you to," you whispered gently as he took your hand and led you to the lightly illuminated dance floor. 

And it was so easy - so effortless. His arms wrapped around you and yours around him as you melted into his body. He was so soft and warm and smelled heavenly; why hadn't you ever done this before? It felt so...right. As you swayed to the music, everything seemed frozen in time and nothing mattered but this moment - him. This was where you were supposed to be the entire time. Home was in his arms, home was Frankie. 

After what seemed like a small eternity, you pulled back and looked at him, his eyes searching yours as well. He stopped and his hands found your face as he gently traced over your features, a smile gracing his own. You put your hands on his wrists, trying to control your breathing as you stared at each other, lost in your little world.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you leaned up and kissed him. And this time it wasn't some quick or rushed brush of lips - no this was slow and meaningful, every feeling and emotion poured it. It just felt so perfect, so right, like the two of you had been doing this for ages and ages, not the first time. You wished it would never end, that you could spend an eternity wrapped up in his arms.

"I am so in love with you," he whispered against your lips when you finally pulled apart for a breath of air, "and I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for years."

"I...I love you, Frankie," you grinned at him, "its always been you...I just never knew how to say it. I was scared...nervous."

"Sweet Honey Bee," he stole another kiss, this one sweet and saccharine, "how could it be anyone but you?"

"Frankie…" his name was a soft, reverent whisper as you melted into his touch, "I don't even know what to say…"

"I'm hoping you'll say yes to getting out of here and getting a pizza and some beers and relaxing back at mine? Just like usual," he suggested as you nodded eagerly, "there's one more thing."

"Anything."

"I want to kiss you," he grinned, "like a lot more. I feel like an idiot for not doing that sooner.

"That's a guarantee, love," you promised him, "kisses and a lot more than that."

"God, you're amazing," he grinned as you started to pull him away and to the exit, "I wish I would have told you years ago."

"We were both fools," you admitted, "but think of all the time we have to make up for! And besides - you're always worth waiting for, Francisco!"

He was awestruck as he just stared at you before running after you and scooping you up in his arms and carrying you bridal style. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you grinned at him like a lovestruck fool - which, you supposed, you were.

"I love you, Honey Bee."

"I love you, Francisco."

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#Frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x fem!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #forever-rogue's follower celebration #triple frontier #will my Frankie ever not call his love honey bee? no 😌

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 5

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Looks like things might be starting to get better between Reader and the rest of the team. However, Rocket can't bring himself to like you just yet, he's not the most trusting.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: Thank you to @colormeyondublue, @theambracer88, and @condy-wants-a-cookie for participating in Fic Improv suggestions!

Word Count: 4,695

You didn't return for several hours, long enough for it to start to get dark out and for the others to start to wonder if you'd come back at all.

Gamora was about to suggest she and Peter go looking for you when you came in the back door. The blood from your face was now gone, but remanent drops still stained the front of your shirt.

You were surprised to find everyone in the kitchen as if they had been waiting up for you.

"Where have you been?" asked Gamora. Her voice didn't sound accusatory, despite her hands on her hips. She sounded oddly worried.

"Taking a walk?" you say with a raised eyebrow. You hadn't honestly expected anyone to be worried with your absence. After all, you bit their friend.

"You were gone for six hours!" Kraglin said incredulously. "Who takes a walk for six hours?"

You shrugged. "Took a nap, too. Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Most of them were looking at you like worried parents, except for Yondu who was leaning against the counter looking at his nails disinterested, Drax who looked mildly disapproving, and Rocket who wasn't even facing you, looking like he didn't give one solitary shit if you came back or not.

"Because you were gone for six hours." Drax repeated. "We thought you died."

"You thought I- No. Look, I just went for a walk- like you 'suggested'-" you looked pointedly at Drax and made air quotes around the word 'suggested,' (your gesture only seemed to confuse him), "took a nap, slept the whiskey off, got cleaned up in the river... Why are you even worr- Oh. Right." You roll your eyes. "Fury would have figured something out if I didn't come back, don't you worry," you say bitterly.

Peter grimaced and stood. "No, that's not- Alright. We got off on a bad foot here. We-" He looked at Rocket to try and include in the contrition, "-feel bad about how things have gone, and we just want to talk."

You look at them a moment, considering. "Okay."

"Okay." Peter looked relieved. "First off, we're sorry that we haven't made the best housemates. We're a dysfunctional bunch of dicks, we get it."

"Some of you more than others." you say, looking at Rocket.

"Yes," Peter agreed, also looking at Rocket. "and we're sorry. We've been in your personal space, and it's obviously been tough for you and we haven't helped that and we understand if you want us to leave. We're sure NOVA will understand."

You stare off into a blank space of wall for awhile. "No," you eventually say with a sigh. "You don't have to leave. It's not entirely your fault things have been tense. I can admit I've been a little... less than welcoming." Your eyes drift to the ceiling and you cross your arms. "I shouldn't be taking my frustration with what Fury did out on you." You finally look at Peter. "And I'm sorry I bit you," you say shyly, feeling your cheeks grow warm.

"It's ok. I've had worse. You didn't even break the skin." Peter said, before wincing, "I'm sorry I broke your nose."

"I don't think it's broken, actually. Hurt like a bitch, but somehow not broken."

Peter looked relieved. "That's good- That's it's not broken, I mean."

"I'm sorry I made you leave your house." Drax spoke up. "Gamora told me that wasn't a good thing to do."

"It's fine." You shrug. "I mean, don't make a habit of it... but no hard feelings." Honestly you knew you needed that walk, both to sort you out, and to try and sober up. Again, you bit a guy. Know who does that? Crazy drunk people. You were lucky one of his friends didn't clock you for it.

Drax beamed and approached you, "Great! Then we are friends!" Your eyes widen as he reaches out and pulls you into a bear hug and actually lifts you off the ground. You let out a wheeze as he squeezed the air from your lungs and you thought you felt a couple vertebra in your spine crack.

When he sets you back down you stumble back a bit, caught off guard. "Sure," you say breathlessly, almost laughing as you regained your bearings. 'Well, at least this one doesn't seem to hold grudges,' you assume.

You were wrong, but of course you didn't actually know Drax that well to know that if you had actually hurt someone he cared about, that he would have chased you across the galaxy to have his revenge. Good thing you hadn't had to figure that out.

"So you're not mad at us?" Mantis said hopefully. She was hugging the bear you gave her, little Groot perched on her shoulder, and your face softened. Her expression was just so... hopeful? Like she really needed to hear that you weren't mad and that she hadn't lost a friend. Innocent. That's the word you were looking for. She just looked too damn innocent, and it melted your heart against your consent.

"No s-" you caught yourself before you could call her 'sweetie.' "No, I'm not mad at you." You mentally whipped yourself. What the fuck? What did you think you were doing almost calling her 'sweetie'? Getting attached or some shit? Some of that whiskey must still be in your system.

She claps her hands excitedly, somehow not dropping the bear in the process, and you can just tell she's going to hug you too. Your eyes flick to Peter in a silent cry for help as she bolts up from her chair, and he just gives you a knowing look and a chuckle as if to say, "You should have guessed that would happen," right before Mantis's body crashes into yours.

You stumble back but don't fall, and awkwardly pat her on the back and letting out half a laugh as Groot crawled on top of your head. "Alright, ok. Settle down now," you say, pulling him from your hair and gently handing him back to Mantis.

Yondu watched in amusement. He was sure he heard you almost call her 'sweetie,' and combined with what he had seen how you treated them so far, and having also been told by Mantis about the bear (because she told everyone) and he saw Groot playing with the toy car that could have only came from you, it only confirmed to him that you seemed to have a soft spot for her and the twig.

"Well if everyone's apologizing, where's mine?" Rocket asked, standing defiantly on the table with his arms crossed.

Kraglin looked at him incredulously. "For what?"

"She tossed me out the door like a rag doll yesterday!" Rocket threw his hands in the air, as if Kraglin was missing something very obvious.

You huffed a laugh out your nose. "No. Absolutely not. For one, I'm not sorry, and secondly, did you really think I'd forget that you tried to poison me earlier today?"

Rocket got several looks for that, ranging from surprise to disapproval. Even Yondu raised an eyebrow.

"Rocket!" Gamora and Drax said in unison.

Rocket put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes. "I wasn't actually trying to poison you! You wouldn't have died or nuttin!"

Peter then explained the situation from earlier that day with the xanti-berries to the others and how Rocket had tried to convince you to eat them, which earned more disapproving looks directed towards Rocket. It was well known among most of them what they did to the Terran digestion. Yondu and Kraglin made that unfortunate discovery early on when they fed them to Peter as a boy, a mistake you don't exactly make twice and a memory Kraglin wished he could have scrubbed from his mind with the same solvents he had been tasked with cleaning Yondu's M-ship bathroom with after said mistake. The rest of the team found out in a much, much cleaner way, having simply been told by Peter when offered some that Terrans couldn't eat them.

Yondu finally spoke up. "If anyone here actually needs to apologize I think it's Rocket."

Rocket looked at him in betrayal, his expression saying, 'Man, I thought we were cool!?' His tail twitched in annoyance. Yondu was supposed to be on his side, not yours,

"Don't give me that look," Yondu said. "Ya know ya've spent nearly all yer time here being a dick, not to mention its yer fault we're here in the first place."

Rocket rolled his eyes and hopped off the table with a, "Whatever losers." and walked out of the room, flipping the bird as he went.

"Rocket!" Gamora called out angrily, but Peter put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Let him go."

After a beat you begin awkwardly edging yourself out of the room as well, saying, "Well, this was awkward. Glad we made up. I'm gonna go wash up for bed. Bye."

They didn't stop you. You had reached an understanding, that would have to do for now. Peter and Gamora knew you all wouldn't just become best friends after one heart-to-heart. At the moment reaching the knowledge of 'Your host doesn't actually wish to burn you all alive' would have to do.

***

You honestly expected the next day to be just as tense, but you were pleasantly surprised. You actually managed to strike up a decent, albeit short, conversation with Peter and Gamora at breakfast.

When you finished you excused yourself to go tend to the garden, but nothing could have prepared you for what you found outside.

You exited the back door, and just before you could put in your earbuds you heard the sounds of bickering. Confused and mildly irritated at the thought of needing to break up yet another fight, you turn your head to the left, where the noise was coming from.

You cocked your head, eyebrow raised. You rubbed your eyes just to make sure you weren't seeing things.

Different emotions overtook you. Confusion. Shock. Disbelief. Then, finally, humor.

Your mouth twitched upwards of its own volition, and your stomach muscles twitched as a huff air forced its way through your nose.

Were you honestly seeing... what you thought you were seeing?

A few meters ahead of you laid Kraglin and Rocket, struggling against what appeared to be your garden hose. What was threatening to pull laughter from your belly, however, was the position they had somehow managed to get themselves into.

You'll never know how they did it, but one of Kraglin's legs was stuck in a sitting position, held in place by the hose wrapped around his thigh. He had one arm pinned behind his back, and another tied to his head with said hose.

That might have done it by itself, but that wasn't all. Rocket was tangled as well, but it was where he was tangled that made you lose your composure.

Rocket's limbs also pinned in crazy directions, but he wasn't tangled separately from Kraglin, no. Rocket was more or less strapped to Kraglin's back, but in a way that his head had nowhere to go but... well... Kraglin's butt.

You attempted to walk towards them, knowing you should probably help them, but once you opened your mouth about halfway there you knew there was no way to hold back your laughter, though you did try.

"What- Ha-How-" You pause briefly to attempt to hold in your giggles before trying again. "How did you-?" More giggling. "How did you-" Even more giggles, "manage that?" You covered your mouth, unable to stop the torrent of giggles that only got worse once they turned their heads in shock and embarrassment to face you. "You- You? What?" You could barely string words together now.

"Oh come now! It's not funny!" Kraglin pouted. Rocket just growled in annoyance.

"I-I'm sorry!" you say, not looking very sorry at all with the way mirthful tears wet your waterline and how you held your stomach from laughing so hard.

Then Rocket threatened to bite Kraglin's ass if he didn't figure out a way to untangle them, and Kraglin threatened to fart on him if he so much as thought of biting him.

That made you completely lose it. You dropped to your knees and laughed harder than you had in a very long time, unable to string anything longer than a mirthful "I'm sorry!" together to save your own life, let alone help untangle them.

Peter and Gamora heard your loud laughter from inside the kitchen, and having not heard anything more than a sarcastic half-laugh from you the entire time they'd been here, wanted to see what had been able to make you lose it like that.

They came outside to see you on your knees in the throws of a laughing fit almost a couple meters from where Kraglin and Rocket lay tangled together.

The scene made them laugh as well. Well, Peter laughed. Gamora was able to keep it to a wide grin and a couple escaped giggles as she mercifully walked over to help untie the pair, with Peter's giggly attempts to help as well, that were actually more of a hinderance than helpful.

At one point you thought you had gotten it together enough to try and help them, but you didn't make it all the way before your laughing fit had you doubled over again. You losing it again only made Peter laugh harder, and Gamora only grinned and shook her head as she worked at trying to free Kraglin's arm from his head, having already managed to free his leg from its garden-hose-y prison.

"Ow! Ow! Fuck!" You exclaim, still laughing. "I think I pulled something!"

Peter looked at you then turned to Kraglin & Rocket and laughed more, pointing, "You made her laugh so hard she pulled a muscle! AHAHA!"

By this point Gamora had (more or less single-handedly) managed to free Rocket from Kraglin and Kraglin was free enough to untangle himself the rest of the way.

Rocket glared at you angrily, "I'll teach you to laugh at me!" He looked like he was about to lunge at you when Gamora scolded out a warning, "Rocket." and he then just muttered angrily and made his way back inside the house.

You had gotten your laughter in to more manageable giggles, until you looked up to see Kraglin had just finished untangling himself and was walking your way before your burst into laughter again. "AHA-Ow! Ow! Haha! I'm sorry- Haha-ow! I'm sorry!" you manage to say as Kraglin pouted and continued on towards the door, his pride a bit bruised. You thought you had pulled something in your ribs, and it made laughing too hard a little sore, but you honestly couldn't help it.

You worked on catching your breath and Peter asked, giggling, "How did they even do that?"

You took deep breaths and answered, "I have no idea." You turned your head towards Kraglin walking away and started laughing again, needing to turn away because it hurt to laugh. Peter and Gamora shook their heads, grinning.

This was definitely better than you being cranky and avoiding them all the time, now if only it would last.

You stated you needed to tend the garden and they took the hint to leave you so you could gather yourself.

Peter couldn't help but think that if you pulled a muscle from laughing, it must mean you didn't do it nearly enough, and he made a mental note to try and fix that while they were there.

***

You headed to the work shed after tending your garden, intent to unclamp and sand down the pieces of the bed you were making for Rocket.

You had almost considered scrapping the project after the whole "attempted poison" incident, but you were in a good mood, and still thought it might quell his whining, so you decided you might as well finish it.

Once everything was sanded to a nice finish you decided you might as well stain it too, and add a coat of varnish. Might as well do a complete job while you were at it.

Or maybe you were stalling.

Either way, you decided you needed to make a run into town. It had been awhile since you checked the mail anyhow.

You locked the shed back up and went inside to get ready to leave.

Before you were about to go, you caught Peter in the hall and told him you were leaving, and as a courtesy asked him if he knew if there might be anything anyone might need from town.

He thought for a bit, not really able to think of anything, one reason being that he didn't know what Terran shops carried anymore that his friends would recognize, let alone need, but then an idea struck. "Hey, do they still make Oreos? If you don't mind- I always kinda wanted to show the others what they were like. They were one of my favorites as a kid."

You smile. Of all the things he could have asked for, and this grown man wanted oreos to share with his friends. It was sweet. "I'll see what I can do," you say, still smiling as you made your way out the door.

***

For the life of him, Rocket couldn't understand why Groot seemed to like it here.

It was boring. Despite all this space, he couldn't blow up anything, and he had been forbidden by the others to try. Something about Terran shit being "extra flammable" or something. Not like he had anything that could make a decent boom if he tried, it had all been confiscated by SHIELD, the bastards. They'd even searched his "back pocket."

To be fair, his reputation had preceded him and they did find some small blast charges and a detonator...

Normally he'd use his resources, pull from the environment around him, but you only had primitive Terran shit that wasn't good for anything fun.

It was like he was being punished, stuck on this Terran prison. Normally he'd just escape a prison, like he had the last 23 he had been in, but this time apparently it was 'safer' to stay in the prison than to leave. As if he even could leave without a ship...

What had he done to deserve this punishment?

Sure, maybe he had insulted their last client... and maybe he had stolen their shit... but they deserved it for being so damn uptight and upitty. Everyone else was thinking it, he was just the only one brave enough to put them in their place!

And look where it got him. Stuck here. In the middle of nowhere, on a primitive hunk of rock floating in the middle of nowhere, with nothing fun to do or see, forced to sleep in a damn crib like an infant. He almost wished Peter hadn't told him what it was that first night. He originally just thought it was a weird fancy little bed, until Peter peeked in and quietly chuckled a comment about, "Aww! Cute! You get to sleep in a crib like a little baby!" Which then prompted him to complain to the SHIELD woman about the sleeping arrangement, but he only got a shrug from her in response as she said stuff about being "crunched for time" and it was "the perfect size" while his friends laughed at him.

And then there was you. As far as he was concerned you were just as bad as their last client. Stick up your ass, skulking around and tossing him out for fighting like you owned the place...

Well, he supposed you did own the place... bit still! Who did you think you were?

Anyone dumber might answer, 'the person who was nice enough to take in eight strangers to keep them safe,' but he knew better. No one was that good. You were either getting paid a shit-tonne to do this, or you had sinister intentions, and any trace of caring was just an act. Maybe both, who was he to say?

"I am Groot?"

Rocket was shaken from his thoughts by Groot's question.

"What?" asked Rocket.

"I am Groot?" he asked again.

"Wha- No. There's no monsters in the attic- who told you that? We would have heard them!" he then quickly added, "Monsters don't exist anyway!"

"I am Groot."

Rocket rolled his eyes. "Ohhh- Of course she would." He could feel his irritation rising. Who the fuck did you think you were, scaring the little guy like that? He looked at Groot and told him you were just being a dick, and he was going to show Groot himself that you were a liar.

"I am Groot!"

Rocket rolled eyes again. "So what if it's locked? I've got my-" He then remembered that his lock-picking set had also been confiscated. Dammit! "I bet there's a key somewhere!"

"I am Groot!"

"We won't get in trouble if you keep quiet about it!" Rocket said irritably. Groot simply crossed his arms in response, a displeased expression on his face.

He placed Groot on his shoulder, and they made their way silently from their room, around the landing, and peered down the stairs before making their way over to open your door. He knew the others wouldn't approve of what he was doing, and he was grateful that he and Groot seemed to be the only ones upstairs at the moment. Well, that was assuming that no one was behind the closed doors of the other two rooms and they wouldn't find Mantis sitting in the room you shared with her.

The room was empty. Good. He wouldn't have to hear anyone complain about what he was doing, although he was certain if Mantis had been in there he could have played it off as Groot wanting to play more hide-n-seek.

Rocket knew you had left the house, otherwise he might not be attempting to do what he was, not looking forward to you possibly tossing him back outside for another 'walk,' or more or less a glorified time out like he was a child. Bad enough he had to sleep in the crib...

However, he knew he should probably be quick about it. You had already been gone nearly a couple hours, and while he didn't know how far away the place you were going was, he knew he should just assume you'd be back any minute.

He paused to listen, he had good enough hearing that he could hear just about any regular movement in the house if he was listening for it. After not hearing anything that sounded like someone getting ready to come up the stairs he got to work.

As quietly and as quickly as he could, he made his way around the room. He had a decent idea of which bed belonged to Mantis and so he didn't bother looking over there.

He checked in your nightstand drawers. Nothing. Just a journal he considered taking a peek at, but decided against it due to being crunched for time.

He checked though your dresser drawers, and aside from one large garment that appeared like a comfy jumpsuit but looked like someone skinned some weird black and white spotted mammal, found nothing but your clothes and under-things.

He finally got around to checking the desk. There was nothing on top save for some pens, a notepad, and what Terrans excused for a computer- a 'lap top' or whatever they called it. He pulled out the bottom drawer from the set of three on the right side, but it was only a bunch of file folders, again, none of which he could be bothered to fully read, only gathering cursory glances of boring titles with stuff like "Insurance," "Deed," and "Obituary," whatever that was.

He quickly abandoned that drawer and moved to the next one up. Still nothing. Just pencils and a book of drawings he quickly flipped through before placing back in the drawer, unwilling to give you even the imaginary satisfaction of even mentally saying they weren't half bad. He gave Groot an unimpressed look when he expressed interest in the pictures.

He reached the top drawer and almost wrote it off as a loss of pens, paperclips, sticky notes and other junk, until he just noticed a glint of metal from under one of the yellow pads of paper.

Jackpot.

He grabbed the key and grinned at Groot before turning towards the attic door.

But then he heard it. The front door opened.

Maybe someone's just going outside? Maybe he still had time?

Nope, the footsteps were coming in, not leaving.

Crap. You were home.

He knew it would only be bad news if he got caught, so he quickly placed the key back in the drawer, saying, "Another time, buddy," to Groot and made his way to peek out the door and make sure he wouldn't be seen exiting your room.

He could just see down the stairs that you were standing in the hall holding a paper bag, and you waved for someone's attention in the sitting room. Peter came and he followed you into the kitchen.

This was his chance, he quickly exited your room, quietly closed the door behind him, and bolted as quietly as possible toward the room he shared with Groot and Drax. It was times like these he was more than glad to be one of the smallest and lightest of the bunch.

***

You arrived home and brought Peter into the kitchen to show that you had indeed found him some Oreos, and a twin sleeve at that!

His eyes lit up when you removed them from the bag. "You got them!" he exclaimed as he accepted the package from you.

You lightly chuckled as he called for his friends to join him in the kitchen.

Feeling it would be awkward for you if he decided to excitedly declare that you bought them biscuits, you excused yourself before the others could arrive, saying that you had some other things to put away in your car and you'd be back when he seemed almost disappointed that you were running away from being social again.

You passed by Kraglin and Yondu on your way back towards the front door, and you were unable to stop yourself from giggling as you laid eyes on Kraglin. You covered your mouth, but of course they noticed.

"What was that about?" Yondu asked Kraglin in confusion, looking back at you as you exited the front door.

Kraglin only pouted and said, "Please don't ask, sir."

***

Rocket answered Peter's call along with everyone else, and was a little surprised to hear that you had picked up some Terran cookies at Peter's request. He ate some, because hey- free food, but he wasn't going to fall for your sugary bribery, which he was sure this was. He certainly doubted you did it to be nice. Hell, if you were nice you would have helped him and Kraglin with getting untangled instead of laughing so hard you couldn't stand up.

Something caught his eye out the window from where he sat on the counter, and he directed his attention to what he realized was you, walking toward that shed he kept hearing loud noses from but couldn't get into because you kept it locked. The windows didn't open either, he tried, nor could he make anything out when he tried to look through them due to the dark interior.

But there was one thing he could see clearly now as you made your way to the shed.

You were carrying chains.

His eyes narrowed as he nibbled on his treat. He knew there was something off about you. What were you doing in that shed? Were those chains meant for him and his friends? To chain up the next person who pissed you off?

He knew the others wouldn't believe him. Until he could prove it to the others that you were bad news, he decided to keep his mouth shut for now.

#gotg #guardians of the galaxy #x reader #peter quill #kraglin obfonteri #rocket racoon and groot #rocket raccoon #star lord #yondu udonta #fluff #room mates #making up

[feather-dancer]

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 6

I do admittedly have things left to read in my tabs I’d normally prefer to clear out before posting one of these but when you sail past the 30 mark I think it’s about time to get it out my drafts, yeah? Most importantly means this will be out before Rise of the Titans comes and emotionally destroys us all.

Needless to say soon as this is posted I give it 24 hours before 7 starts, we’ve got some amazing writers in this fandom and there’s a couple I juuust want one more chapter before I feel I can recommend it. Hope you find something you enjoy :)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

If at all interested in my own writing you can find it here!

General Trollhunters

Romeo, Question Mark - Jim is figuring himself out and has a question for Toby though nervous of how he might react. Honestly the support Aromantic’s need when they’re either questioning or coming out, Toby is a gem.

By The Book - After his dad left changing his world Jim had moments in his life where he needed to wrangle things in a way he could understand them with some moral support along the way that wasn’t there to do it for him, just give a light nudge the right direction. Comes with light Jilaire fluff.

That I Could Fear a Door - Jim was pulled from the Darklands whole but you cannot escape the trauma of your experiences quite so easily. It will take a little time, a lot of patience and perhaps the right ear to listen but with it can come hope.

Lest Back the Awful Door Should Spring - Sequel to the above, Jim’s capture to be sentenced by the tribunal echoes his experiences in the Darklands a little too closely sending all his careful progress hurtling back in one fell swoop. Is it any wonder he chose a false freedom that Unkar offered?

Façade - The confirmation that Mr. Strickler is not the man you thought he was probably was not going to be an easy one, Jim’s thoughts sit ill after that dinner.

Fashion - All changelings take root somewhere in a human life before their changeling one succeeds it and Nomura is no different. She felt love she could not understand and the ache of loss will follow for as she meanders through this world by the Whisper Man’s orders and her own volition of needing to belong somewhere. She will try her hand with the humans and the trolls, paint the road with blood as much as indulging herself with the arts and even risking her heart until everything leads her to Arcadia’s doorstep.

In Deep Trouble - What happened in the Deep during Season 2?

Aftermath - Just after the finale of Season 2 the Market trolls are forced to run leaving their homes behind and follow the Trollhunter they had dismissed so many times into the great unknown before them.

Don’t think - Jim weighs up his options and attempts to settle his thoughts before making the final decision whether or not to go through with using Merlin’s potion.

Nocturne for a Trollhunter - Jim learns a new hobby that gives him another way to relax that doesn’t involve cooking, one that follows him beyond Arcadia.

The Asteroid - A rare 3Below fic for my lists if centered on a certain hedge witch and Wizard. The end of the world is coming but not by Morgana’s hand and Merlin certainly never warned Douxie about it so if this truly is the end then it’s the best time to bring your loved ones close so you won’t be going out alone. Yes it’s Zouxie.

A bright future so it seemed (but that light grew a little less bright) - Claire’s parents (Or more specifically Ophelia) set her on the perfectionist’s path early, even a little slip can feel like the end of the world

Rest, Master Jim - You might be able to escape the Darklands but you cannot escape the consequences of being trapped there for so long as easily.

General Wizards

Not Found - So why did neither Douxie or Archie find the two remaining changelings in Arcadia or bring back the sole Akiridion when Merlin asked?

Place of Power - A lovely bit of shameless Zouxie fluff in that brief period the gang was at Hex Tech before the plot came to get them.

Bitter Water - Only two of the old team remain in Arcadia and those were Jim and Krel, the rest having left to pursue educational pursuits and in one particular case kept away for Nari’s safety. For the Akiridion he is still here with reminders of his heritage and what it took to have this life on earth chasing him all the way. It’s always good to have friends with a listening ear and hot chocolate.

Together, Dearest - The very act of resting is a potential invitation for nightmares and Nari is no different but when once more in the waking world you will find you’re not alone, there are hugs available.

The Night Belongs To Us - Lovingly described Skraelroc fluff during their long hunt for Merlin and the strangeness that can be observed on clearer nights.

Nineteen Plus Nine Hundred, Give Or Take - 900 years is a long time by anyone’s standards but perhaps during that Douxie can figure out how to truly live.

Twelfth Century Wizard, Twenty-First Century Witch - The follow up to the above, when you’ve lived a long and interesting life things can still pop up in odd ways... Even if you haven’t quite mastered the sacred art of texting yet.

ERAS TÚ (It was you). | Tales of Arcadia One-Shot - Would you want to live forever if it meant leaving everyone behind? Jilaire.

the only way for us to go - From his rescue from the streets of Camelot to the eventual guardian of this realm, Douxie has come a very, very long way. Through the frustrations of trying to learn magic, the belittling of others, the faith of Morgana and the power of music his experiences throughout 900 years truly make him what he is.

lay down your head - Even the mightiest can be plagued with the not so humble migraine. Skraelroc fluff.

Stricklake

Merry Christmas, Doctor Lake - Some Christmas gifts are worth going all out for and getting your friends and family to help out to make it extra special.

Grocery Run - After the incident where Merlin dismissed Strickler for being a changeling it is time for an excuse to get out the house for a bit and have a frank discussion about their relationship, the future beyond the incoming battle and lingering insecurities of two worlds colliding.

Alternate Universe

Fashionista, How Do You Look? - An AU that very much takes the term very literally here where everyone is human, Skrael, Bellroc and Nari are fashion designers plus many other ToA characters we know and love are either in the industry in some way themselves or on the fringes because of their jobs/who they know. Sometimes you work with catty bitches and want to kick back and watch the fireworks you know? Contains friends to almost to enemies to friends to maybe we’ll get our shit together this time but the odds aren’t great Skraelroc. There’s also a Zouxie oneshot in this collection that was a gift for meee because of the corner I dug in the AU.

Atlas, Fallen - When a star falls from the sky it is a punishment so when Atlas suddenly finds himself amongst the humans he had observed from above for countless ages in a flesh body like theirs he fears his Mother is punishing him and unable understand what he did wrong. While trying to find his way back home he gets a crash course in what it’s like to be human making friends along the way. Slow burn Jilaire.

she once was a true love of mine - I put this under the AU section even though it wavers between that and not, a mixture of classical Arthurian mythos and the glimpses of the Camelot in Tales of Arcadia where one kingdom collapses from war another strengthens by taking their princess as queen. While Arthur might have turned her head once it is the sibling that seems to be catching Gwen’s eye of late as much as her thoughts. Morgwen but in the department of pining.

Pulled From The Ocean - AU doesn’t quite fit this one but it feels a bit more fitting than general. A little oneshot snapshot of Jim living with deafness and the contrast of one world that falls easily into supporting that whereas the other tries their best but it makes the slip ups sting even more.

you are a stranger here, why have you come? - Fate is a funny old thing, something happens a little bit differently such as a father not leaving alone and everything can change so drastically. Nari’s fondness for children strikes again and this time it involves a 5-year old Jim Lake Jr. ending in the Order’s care and their foray into found family. Somehow Jim is even more of a disaster and as likely surmised from the fact I write this trope myself I am very weak for it.

go into your local forest and you will find a friend and a boy - Toby was unlucky in the friend department and by the time he is ten he still feels miserable and lonely having to endure Steve’s increasing bullying all the while. This is of course until he finds a blue half-troll hiding out the daylight hours munching cans in the local woods...

#trollhunters #3below #Wizards #ToAWizards #Tales of Arcadia

[beskarhearts]

Mourn (Din Djarin x reader)

Connection series Pt. 9

Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Warnings: cursing, mention of family members passing away, drinking, smallest mention of prostitution, death/killing, angst (let me know if I missed any)

Word count: over 12.0K

Summary: Din mourns his newest loss and you learn that you might not be able to run away this time.

Notes: Woof! This was a big one but it’s one of my favorite chapters so far. I have a few more chapters planned before we start getting into the events from season 2! 

Previous Part ____ Next Part

__________________________________________________

Din sat in the seat of his Crest, his hand tightly clutching onto the necklace in his hand. He couldn’t bear to look at it, just the feeling of the cool metal against his bare skin serving as a reminder of his lost. 

He knew where she would of gone. He had mentioned the bounty had a ship that was not too far from where the Crest had landed, probably only a matter of a few hundred feet away. He had realized relatively quickly what had happened and he could probably get to her before she left, and that was assuming the ship the bounty stole even worked anymore. If she had to fix something really quick, he could definitely get to her. 

Din listened as the kid let out a little mewl, sat in the passenger seat beside him. In the seat she usually sat in. The child looked over at Din with big eyes and he knew the kid understood she had left. Probably had watched her do it.

She left him. Din let in a deep breath, trying his best not to let tears fall. Because even though he would have the helmet on to cover them, he couldn’t allow himself to do it. If he did, he didn’t know how he would stop. 

Din had two options. He could either find her and try to find out what happened or he could turn in his bounty and let her leave. Let her leave him like she wanted to. Like she chose to.

The Mandalorian had always been a loner. He never had anyone beside him. No friends, no family, certainly never a woman he loved. He had been accustomed to that lifestyle for many years.  She had changed that though. She made him feel whole, filling in a hole in his life he hadn’t even truly understood he had. She made him feel worthy of more and made him feel like he mattered to someone. Was more than a piece of metal that took down bounties for men richer than him. She made him realize he didn’t want to be alone anymore and he wanted to spend life with someone who made his days far happier than they ever had before.

And he fell in love with her because of it. He fell in love with her personality, her warmth, and the way she opened his eyes to what life could be like, even for a man like him. She expanded his clan, his family, by one and had made life so much sweeter. 

But now she was gone. Not because she had to leave or he had wanted her to. Out of her own volition. She chose to. And while Din loved her and his heart was aching, he wasn’t going to force himself on her. She didn’t want him. 

Din had lost before. He would just endure another one and move on. Like he always did. 

He took the necklace in his hands and placed it on the dashboard of the Crest. Din would try to ignore the pain, try to move on and find a Jedi for the kid, but he could keep this little token. Just as a small reminder of what maybe could of been. 

Din cleared his throat and punched in his next location, preparing the ship for a jump into hyperspace. “Let’s turn this bounty in, kid.”

The child let out another small noise but Din didn’t bother to look. He’d just see the confusion and pain in his eyes, the same he had in his but were hidden away. He simply shook his head and heard the ship hum as it prepared to leave. Leave the planet where she could still possibly be. 

“She’s gone. We’ve got to move on.”

___________________

You felt sick to your stomach. 

The ship was easy to find. Din was right, it had only been a few hundred feet away, easy to run to. It was a small x-wing, probably stolen, but it wasn’t too old or damaged. Certainly in better shape than the Crest had been when you first saw it. You just had to fix the control panel, which you did with hands that shook and your heart slamming in your chest. You had worried Din might of tried to find you, knowing you were going to the bounty’s aircraft, but he must of not realized what was happening because he never came. 

Once the ship was finally in order, you hauled your body into it, placing your bag at your feet, and closing the hatch of it. The x-wing smelled, probably from the Klantooinian who had stolen it. You were surprised he could even fly it and hadn’t crashed into the planet, but was thankful it was there. It was your ticket out.

But once you were in the pilot’s seat, hands ready to punch in your next location into the navigation system, you were suddenly lost. Where would you go? You couldn’t go back to Yungbrii. You had been there for so long and hated it. You couldn’t bring yourself to go back, even though your small mechanic shop may still be there. You also couldn’t risk going back there. If Din did decide to try to find you, that would probably be one of the first places he would think to stop at. 

Where else would you go? You thought of the planet you had stopped at with Din that had the marketplace. There were lots of people there, meaning there would be work. You could blend in, hide away. Probably wouldn’t garner a lot of attention from anybody. But you weren’t even exactly sure where that was and that would hurt. Going to a place you had gone with Din, your family, would be pouring salt into a fresh wound. And you weren’t sure you could go there and relive those memories and not try to find your way back to Din. 

You could technically go anywhere. You could punch in any location and try to start anew. You could hide away everything that had happened, like you always did, and become a new person. 

But instead of just going to a random planet, you went to the one place you had ever find yourself yearning to go to. The one place, besides the Crest with Din, that had been your home. Where you had grown up and loved. It was risky and it might be the worst decision, but you punched in the coordinates.

And then you were off. To Jakku. 

___________________

“He’s dead.”

Din stood across from the client who ordered the bounty. The man’s arms were crossed, his face twisted into a firm grimace.  “I did the job.”

The man let out a snarl, his jaw jutting out as he tried to temper the rage consuming him. “I wanted him alive. I wanted him to suffer under my hand, not yours.”

“There were... complications.” Din tried his best to not think of her, of the sobs she had let out with the body laid out on the floor in front of her. He couldn’t let himself crack right now. 

“I thought you were supposed to be best.” 

“It couldn’t be avoided.”

“What? Did he try to kill that pet of yours?” The man snarled as one of his crooked fingers pointed to the carrier on his hip. Din turned to look down at his side. The kid looked right up at him, his face covered by the fabric of the bag but his big eyes and ears popping out. Din couldn’t help but to think of what her reaction would be right now. She’d probably make some sarcastic comment to the client and then given Din a look that said something along the lines of ‘what a joke’. Din shook his head, trying to shake away the thought from his mind.

“I did what I had to do. I did the job.” 

“Well, I’m not paying you the full price. I’ll give you half.”

Din huffed. Half of this bounty was supposed to go to fuel alone. He needed the other half. The whole reason he did this job was because he needed the credits. If he hadn’t, then he wouldn’t have landed on that damn planet and maybe, just maybe, she’d still be around. “That wasn’t the agreement.”

“The agreement was to bring him to me.”

“I did.” Din could probably be described as an abnormally calm man. Part of it was being a Mandalorian. You get used to dealing with shady people. You get used to the looks, to being swindled, to being treated like a droid who was just meant to work away for the rest of his days. Eventually, it just became part of the scenery for Din and he never got bothered by it. But today was a bad day and Din was feeling all the emotions he was bottling up turn into annoyance with this man. 

“I wanted him alive!” The man yelled, his fists clenching tightly. 

Din let out a loud sigh, his hands grazing the blaster on his side which the man took notice of. “Give me my credits.” He said plainly, but he knew there was a danger to his words. He saw the way the mans hand shook slightly and his anger expression dropped for a split second. Din was aware of the effect he could have on people, the fear he could instill in them even when he had no plans of actually doing anything. 

“Fine. But you are never getting hired by me ever again.”

Thank the Maker for that. Din wanted to call him a damn asshole (something she probably would of done with that dangerous mouth of hers) but instead he nodded his head and reached a hand out. The client dropped the credits in his hand with a dramatic huff, turning around without another word and storming off. 

Din turned around, heading back in the direction of his ship. The town he had landed on could best be described as grimy. It was dark and dingy: a stale smell filled the air and every wall was covered in what looked like grease. There were a few buildings, including a hotel and cantina, both of which looked run down and run by folk who probably weren’t the most pleasant. Din continued strolling away until he heard a loud laugh fill the air. It was bubbly and feminine, and Din couldn’t help the pit that filled his stomach at the sound of it. It came from the cantina and it didn’t even sound like her that much but he couldn’t help it. He knew she wasn’t here. She had no reason to stop on a planet this horrid but his feel still turned in the direction of the cantina. He froze before entering. He needed to see if it was her, even though he knew deep down it wasn’t. He let out a huff before he entered the building. His eyes scanned the dimly lit cantina. It wasn’t too busy, just a few people at the bar and a couple in the corner who were practically attached to each other. The smell of liquor was overwhelmingly strong in the room and the air in it was stale. The establishment felt like a bad hangover that left you sick. 

The couple in the corner finally detached themselves from each other and the woman let out another laugh. Din nodded his head. It wasn’t her. Of course not. Din went to turn towards the exit when the bartender spoke, “You want a drink or you just come to stare?”

Din was going to walk off, ignore the man like he did with most people. Din wasn’t a drinker, never really had been. He didn’t like the feeling it gave him. The numbness and the fogginess. But right now, that didn’t sound like the worst feeling. In fact, it sounded like it would be better to forget and drown his sorrows tonight rather than sit in the Crest and wallow in his pain. Din turned his head and walked towards the bar, dropping a couple credits onto the counter. “A bottle of whatever you have.”

The man nodded, his slimy fingers reaching out for the credits as he gave The Mandalorian a crazed look. He grabbed a bottle from behind the counter, one Din wasn’t too familiar with, and placed it down for him to grab. Din reached out for it, ready to leave, when the man spoke again. “You want any company, pal?” 

The man leaned his head to the right and Din looked to find a woman sat at the bar, scantily clad and giving him a sickening smile. Her fingers waved at him slowly. 

“No.” Din turned without another word, storming out of the cantina with the bottle grasped tightly in his hand.

___________________

Even though it was nighttime by the time you landed on Jakku, the air was still warm. The sky was dark but filled with what appeared to be a million little stars, a scene that was so juxtaposed to the environment it was in.  You looked up to the sky and felt a peace in your heart, looking at the very stars you had stared into during your childhood here. You recognized certain constellations, ones your mother had taught you. 

You were fatigued but your body was also cramping from being inside such a tiny ship for so long. By now, the x-wing was done for. They were meant for fighting and battle, not traveling through hyperspace for extended amounts of time, and you had sufficiently pushed the ship to its breaking point. You stepped onto the sand, feeling it give under the boots you wore. You looked around, trying to see if there was anyone nearby, but you found it was just you. You had parked not too far from Niima Trading Post, a place where you had worked and knew like the back of your hand. Part of you wanted to venture to it now, maybe find some food and a place to stay. But you had left most of your credits with Din, only a small handful in your pocket. Certainly not enough for a bed for the night. You also weren’t sure what would greet you once you traveled into the post. You had changed plenty since you lived here last and weren’t worried a lot about people recognizing you. Most people on Jakku came and went. There weren’t a lot of people who lived there permanently besides the scavengers and criminals, who didn’t bother to get to know people,  and people who ran the few booths that were there. But you still felt a bit of fear in your heart at the prospect of entering the post and decided it would be better to save that for the morning, when you were more alert.

You were absolutely exhausted. You were still worn out from what had happened the day before and the long day of traveling hadn’t done you any favors. You sat down on the sand, your back leaning against a part of the x-wing. You closed your eyes, bring your hands to rub at your face. Today had been so long and you had spent most of it trying not to think of Din or the child. You couldn’t bear to do so. It would only lead to heartache. But even despite your desperate attempts to keep thoughts of your Mandalorian at bay, your chest still felt heavy and you had felt like you were on the verge of tears all day.

All you wished right now was that Din was with you. That you were in the Crest, laying in bed with him again. You could show him your home, the town where you had grown up. You knew it wasn’t much but you still think Din would of appreciated seeing it. Getting to learn more about your origin, how you had become the person you were now. 

You opened your eyes, shaking your head. You had to stop thinking like that. Din was gone. You had left him and the child behind. You had left that clan. And even though that left a gaping hole in your chest, it was for the right reasons.  You weren’t the type of person who could have a family. It just wasn’t part of you. That was for normal people with normal lives.

You rested your head against the hot metal of the ship and let your eyes slip close.

___________________

Din brought the bottle to his lips again. The Crest was back in hyperspace, heading to some planet on the Outer Rim. The child was asleep, in his hammock with the door closed so he couldn’t see Dins face. The ship was completely silent, except for the soft whirl of it traveling. This was normally when Din would sit in the cockpit for a while before going to bed, staring off into the galaxy. That was what he did before she came along and joined him. But now he couldn’t bring himself to sit in that seat, with the passenger one empty and without her sweet voice filling the small confines of the space. Instead he sat on the  cot on the floor, the one she had slept on. His helmet had been taken off and he had rested it on her pillow. His legs were splayed out, reaching past the small cot and laying heavily on the cool floor below him. He was still adorned in all his armor, the only helmet being the only piece of metal he was bare of. 

Din brought the bottle up to his lips, letting the warm liquor run over his tongue and down his throat. It was a large bottle but was now half empty at this point. It tasted like shit, definitely not worth what he paid, but he hadn’t expected much from a place like that. And in the end, it was partially doing its job. Din felt his eyes droop, his senses dull. His body fell limp against the bed that still smelled of her, like honey and fresh laundry. At this point, Din was sufficiently drunk, teetering on the edge of hammered. 

He probably should stop, but he couldn’t refrain from guzzling down the drink. He had hoped it would ease his pain, make the tear in his heart mend a little. He wanted to stop thinking, to let all his emotions slip away. But all it seemed to do was make it even worse. Everything felt rawer and drinking was just pouring salt in the wound. Din’s only hope now was that he could get black out drunk and forget. At least forget tonight and the weakness he felt in this moment. The way his hands shook and his eyes glossed over. Forget the pit in his stomach and the necklace that he had put in his pocket before he left earlier.  

But the problem was that he’d never forget her. Din felt something wet against his cheeks, bringing a hand up to his skin and wiping at it. He looked down at his fingers and saw that he had started crying without even realizing it. The warm tears continued to slip down his cheeks. traveling down to his chin so small drops landed on the metal of his chest plate. 

“Why... why did you leave me?” Din knew she wasn’t there and he was alone, but he still spoke the words that rung through his head over and over. He would of done anything for her. Didn’t she know that? He didn’t care what was wrong or what was happening. Nothing would change the way he cared for her and loved her. 

He couldn’t stop imagining the night before. The way he had held her and how her skin had felt. It had been so soft and sweet. She had filled every single one of his senses. All he could think of was her and how he wanted her, no, needed her. He should of tried to find her. He should of followed her to the ship, begged her not to go. Told her he loved her and she was his anchor.

Din wiped away the tears, putting down the bottle. He needed to sober up.

He needed to find her.

___________________

Walking into Niima Trading Post was like walking into the past. Not much had changed. The same booths were there, full of scavengers selling their parts and towns people selling their goods to the people who came and went. It was different faces but the same place and same environment. The sand still covered almost everything, almost like a blanket of snow. The post was relatively quiet this early in the morning, just the usual bustle of scavengers heading out for the day. So far you hadn’t seen anyone who you recognized, which didn’t particularly surprise you.

You continued your stroll through town, not even really considering where you were heading until you were face to face with it. You stopped completely, staring at the small garage-like building in front of you, and felt your chest squeeze. It was what had used to be your father’s mechanic shop and it looked exactly the same as it used to. Run down, but obviously well taken care of. It was pretty empty, only one small carrier in the corner that was being worked on. You stepped closer to it, letting your hand reach out and touch one of the walls. You had spent so much of your life here. This is where your father had taught you to be a mechanic and to work hard. This is the place you spent the most time with your dad.

“Do you need some help, ma’am?” You turned to the right, looking over to see a man ducking out from under the carrier that was being worked on. He was an extremely tall, large man with a long, wispy red beard and no other hair. Several grease stains were on his overalls, which were tied around his waist, a white tank top covering his upper half that was just as dirty. A sheen of sweat covered his skin and he held a tool in his right hand. He wasn’t a particularly attractive man but he had a big smile on his face that was welcoming. 

“Oh... umm... no. I just,” You paused and bit your lip. “I knew the person who used to run this shop.”

The man’s smile dropped slightly and his broad shoulders sagged. “Oh, he... no longer works here. He passed away right before I started working here.”

You gave him a sad smile. “Oh. Do you run this now?”

He let out a small chuckle at your question. “Oh Maker, no. Just a mechanic. The lady runs it here.”

Your eyebrows lift up. “Who is she?”

“She was a friend of the family. Knew them before they were all killed.” He must of noticed the way you winced at the casual mention of your parents murder. “Oh, you must not know. I wasn’t at Jakku yet but I heard the rumors. Horrible, horrible thing. Whole family was killed. The only one who may of  survived was the killer.”

Your eyebrows shot up at his words and you stared at him incredulously. Did the Empire make it look like you had died and left behind a killer to take the blame for the attack? “Who was the killer?”

“Believe it or not, their daughter. Rumor has it she went nuts.” The man gestured to his head, indicating the ‘killer’ had lost their mind. “No one knows for sure but she was the only one who wasn’t found so people just made their assumptions.”

You clenched your fists tightly. The Empire must of covered their tracks and gotten rid of any evidence they had come and slaughtered your family, letting the towns people of Niima gossip about what could of happened. You felt shame and anger pour into you. The very people you had known your whole life had pointed the finger at you. Jakku wasn’t the kindest place but it had been your home and you couldn’t believe that they’d label you as a killer. 

“Zeke, are you bothering a potential customer with useless rumors?” You turn around at the sound of the voice you knew all too well. Your heart stopped at the sight of the woman behind you, who immediately made eye contact with you and froze. 

“Oh, no ma’am. She used to know the family.” He looked back and forth between you and the woman, lowering his voice and whispering to her, “I don’t think she knew what happened.”

“Mai.” You calmly said and the woman gave you a small smile. Mai had been a long-time family friend, extraordinarily close to your grandmother. People had said they were practically sisters and you couldn’t help but to see so many similarities in her. They were both loud-mouthed and bossy, but also exceptionally kind. When your grandmother had first landed on Jakku with a daughter and no father for the child, Mai had been a helping hand, allowing your grandmother to settle down and learning about her past. She had been there at your birth and had watched you grow up. If there was one person at Jakku you ever truly wanted to see again, it would be Mai.

“Zeke, I am going to take my friend over here. You continue working on that carrier.” The man nodded and turned around, getting one last look at you before crawling back under the carrier to resume his work. Mai strode towards you, her arms immediately reaching out and hugging you tightly. “Maker. I thought you were dead.”

You clutched onto Mai and felt a wave of relief wash over you for the first time in days. She let go of you, placing her hands on your shoulders and giving you a good once-over before grabbing an arm and dragging you over to the small office attached to the garage. She pushed you into the room, locking the door behind you before once again looking you up and down like she was surveying you. “You look older.”

You let out a small chuckle. “That’s what happens when six years passes by.”

Mai rolled her eyes playfully and grinned, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the door. “Still a smart ass like your grandmother?”

You nodded. “Yeah. That part didn’t go away.”

She pushed her body off the door, strolling over to the desk in the room and sitting on it, gesturing for you to sit in the chair in front of her. You dropped your bag next to it before plopping down, looking up at her as she continued to study you intently. “As happy as I am to see you, kid, what the kriff are you doing here?”

Your smile dropped and you rested your elbow against the arm of the chair, bringing your hand up to your face. “I... don’t know.”

“You can’t be here. They think-”

“That I am a killer.” You interrupted and Mai gave you a pitiful look.

“You know how people are here. Nothing else to do but scavenge and gossip.”

“So they just label me as a murderer?”

“Nobody knew anything. All they found was your house burnt down and your parents and grandmother laid out on the ground.” Mai paused as she watched your expression shift from anger to sadness. Realization washed over her features. “Fuck. You were there?”

“Of course.”

“I was hoping you had escaped before whatever happened... well happened. I thought that or you had died.” She let out a small sigh, brushing one of her gray hairs behind her ears. “What happened?”

You could sense the sadness in her voice. She had loved your family, pretty much been a member of it. Your family was a tight circle with a lot of secrets and Mai had accepted the responsibility that came with that. She knew everything about your grandmother and mother. The Force and how they had fled where they had lived in order to escape the threat of death. You had often wondered what she was thinking in the days following your family’s death, wishing you could console her and explain everything, but feared returning to Jakku. “The Empire happened.”

Mais face went slack, her dark skin seeming to pale at what you said. “Shit. How did they find out where you were?”

You had often wondered the same thing. How did they know you were Jedis and how the hell did they know where you were? Jakku was low-profile, not the kind of place people worried about. Once people came here, they usually never went back to where they were from. It was just the way it went. So why had the Empire searched Jakku for your family, just to wipe you all out even though you posed no direct threat? You shrugged and let out a sigh. “No clue. But they knew about my grandmother being a Jedi, as well as my mom having a connection with the Force. Didn’t know she wasn’t trained though.” 

“So they just... killed them?”

“Yep. Mom and Dad first. Gram wasn’t there so they... umm... used some tactics to try to get me to talk.” You pulled the jacket you were wearing against your body even more, not wanting her to see what exactly they had done exactly. It would send her into a frenzy, because much like yourself, she was overly protective. 

“Gram showed up and they killed her...” You voice drifts off. You were leaving out some details, things you couldn’t bear to talk about, but Mai nodded understandingly. 

“I’m so sorry, kid.” She leaned over and reached a wrinkled hand out to your knee, patting it. She sat back up and shook her head, allowing herself a minute to process everything. “What did you do?”

“Took one of their ships and got the hell out of dodge.” 

“Where did you go?”

“Yungbrii for a long time. Haven’t been there in months though. I was with-” You almost feel yourself say his name and stop yourself short. You didn’t want to cover that.

“Why did you go to Yungbrii?” Mai’s eyebrows wrinkled together.

“I just landed anywhere small. Lived somewhere that makes Niima look like a bustling city.” Mai frowned at your description. She knew you when you were the type of person who liked to be around others. You used to thrive off human contact. But that had changed very quickly.

“What are you doing now?”

You let out a huff. “I don’t know.”

Mai shook her head and stood from the spot on her desk. “I love you, kid, and you can stay at my place for a few days. But you can’t stay here.”

“People won’t be fond of the murderer hanging around?” You said, feeling your face pinch up into a scowl.

Mai uncomfortably nodded. “You know the people here aren’t the kindest, especially if they sense any potential threat.”

“Great.” You closed your eyes and leaned your head back. You didn’t know where to go next. You had no ship, no family or friends, almost no credits. 

“I have a ship at my house. A complete piece of garbage but if anyone can fix it, it’s you. You can have it and work on it there.”

You give her a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

“But you need to find out where to go.”

“Yeah. That’s the problem.”

Mai frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “Where were you after Yungbrii?”

“What?”

“You said you haven’t been there in months. So where were you?”

Your shoulders sag and you try to not let your emotions overwhelm you. You give yourself a moment, letting out a deep breath. “Doesn’t matter. It’s not an option.”

The woman gave you a knowing look. “What happened?”

You stand from your seat, grabbing your bag. “You know, I am absolutely exhausted and should start working on the ship.” You change the topic to which Mai huffs. “You still live in the same place?”

“Of course.”

“I am going to head over there then. If it’s okay.”

Mai gave you a soft look, understanding there was something more under the surface, something you weren’t telling her. “It’s fine. But we are talking later.”

You give her a quick nod before opening the door to the office. You give her one last smile before you begin to walk towards your next destination.

___________________

Din’s head was absolutely pounding. It felt like a drill was slamming through it with every step he took and every movement. The kid had woken up with bustles of energy but every-time he made a noise, Din winced. He swore to himself he would never, ever drink again. 

Luckily the kid seemed to take notice of Din’s change in behavior, calming himself and keeping his attention occupied on the metal sphere in his hand. Normally Din would take it from him, explaining it wasn’t a toy, but he didn’t have the energy to do so today and anything that kept the kid quiet was fine by him. He also had too much to think about already.

Din was sat in the pilots seat with the child buckled in beside him. His hands lightly grasped the navigator but he was frozen. Where would she have gone?

Certainly not Yungbrii. She hated that place with a passion, never haven spoken one good word about the place. Also, if she was trying to make it so Din couldn’t find her, she wouldn’t return. She would know he would think of that. Din considered the planet with the marketplace they had stopped at. It had been busy, somewhere she could blend it. But she usually didn’t run to people - she ran away from them. That would be too much for her and Din wasn’t even sure if she knew the coordinates for it. Din considered the planet they had stayed at with the flowers. But there was absolutely nothing there - no place to get food or anywhere to even live. If she took the x-wing, she probably only had one long-distance trip she could get out of it. She wouldn’t waste it on a place she couldn’t even stay. 

Din felt hopeless. She could of stopped anywhere. Hell, she could of punched in some random coordinates and ran off. But that didn’t seem likely to Din. She wasn’t the type to not think before she acted. She had purpose behind every decision she made. This would certainly be no different. So Din just had to think of one planet, out of the millions out there, that she would of stopped at. 

Nowhere cold. She hated the cold, having told Din once how much she detested the snow. It would be somewhere warm, where she could work in the sun. It would also not be somewhere with a lot of people but enough that she could work. She was an incredibly talented mechanic and Din knew she loved the work. It would have to be a place where maybe a lot of people didn’t live  but stopped by on their way somewhere else. Somewhere where they quickly got their ship freshened up and then were on their way. She would have to find somewhere where she could either get hired or start her own place.  Din then considered how she had left most of her minimal credits behind, meaning she only had a little on her, if any. She wouldn’t go to anywhere too expensive. She didn’t have the money for that. It would have to be somewhere with a mechanic shop already established, so she could get a job and make some money. Maybe somewhere where she could also sell parts from the x-wing, put some credits in her pocket before she was on her way. 

But, Din also thought she would want to go somewhere familiar. She had spent so long on Yungbrii, which was the polar opposite of everything she had once known. And once she was with Din, she had gotten used to the environment. It had become a sort of home where she knew her surroundings. Knew the dynamics of the place she was at. Din imagined she wouldn’t want to throw herself into a place that had no sense of familiarity. 

Then it hit him. She had nothing: no ship, barely any credits, and no family now. She was a lone wolf once again but she no longer enjoyed being on her own. She needed a sense of belonging or home or something of that nature . She also had nothing left to risk. “Dank farrik!”

Din punched in the coordinates and clasped his hands onto the ships steering controls. He had to get out of here and go, now. The kid cooed behind him and Din turned to see him eagerly looking up at him. 

“We need to go get your mom, kid.” Din didn’t even consider how he had referred to her as the kid’s mom, his body and mind too busy in hyperdrive and worrying. She could be in danger.  “We’re going to Jakku.”

___________________

“Well, you really went to work.” 

You turned at the sound of Mai’s voice, seeing her walking towards you with two mugs in her hands. You hopped down from your spot on the ship and she handed a cup of caf to you, which you welcomed happily. It was now nearing sunset and you had spent most of the day in the sun, working on the ship. “You weren’t kidding about this being a piece of junk.”

Mai let out a hearty chuckle. “It is in bad shape. One of the worst I’ve seen.”

“Eh, I’ve seen worse.” You smiled slightly at the thought of the Crest and how you constantly teased Din about his shop being a flying death trap. The ship you were working on now was small and not even operable, but at least it wasn’t pre-empire. Just abused and in need of a little love.

“What’s with that smile?”

You dropped the grin from your face and feel your stomach twist. You had to stop thinking about Din or the kid or the Crest. It would only hurt more and more. “Nothing.”

Mai scoffed at that, taking a sip of her caff and then giving you a sly smile. “You are a bad liar.”

“Shut up.”

“Does that smile have anything to do with where you’ve been the past few months?”

You hated how much Mai knew you, how she could piece things together like this. Your grandmother was the same way, always able to know what you were thinking. You were never able to keep a secret from the two of them. “It doesn’t matter.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “I thought you were supposed to leave your angsty, secretive phase in your teens.”

“Guess I am just special.” 

“Or holding too much in. You need to talk to me, kid.”

“I’m fine.” You insisted. 

Mai shook her head. She looked over at your box of tools you had laid out next to your bag. “Still have your dad’s tools?”

“Oh, yeah.”

The woman bent down at the knees, reaching out to touch the box when something caught her eyes. She tugged at the wool pooling out of your bag and pulled out the blanket you had gotten at the marketplace. “This looks just like the blanket your grandmother gave you.”

You smiled as you saw her eyes brighten up. “Yeah. Found it at this booth on some random planet.” She gave you a quizzical look. “I was, umm... traveling for a while.”

“With who?”

Your smile dropped and you put down your cup, grabbing a tool and turning back to the ship. “Like I said: doesn’t matter.”

“Kid-”

“It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have been there.”

“Well, surely that’s not the case.”

Mai was persistent, just like you. Now you were realizing how annoying it was for Din when you wouldn’t stop bothering him. “He... they are better without me.”

You cleared your throat, trying to seem unbothered but the older woman saw right through you. The corner of her lip quirked into a smile and she let out a chuckle. You huffed at her and frowned. “What in the Maker is so funny?”

“I just thought I’d never live to see the day.” she said teasingly.

“What?”

“This man you traveled with... why did you leave?” 

You shook your head. “Stop.”

“I just never thought I’d see the day you were in love.” 

The tool in your hand dropped, causing you to jump and you looked at her with bewilderment. You had forgotten how she could read you like a book. It was flustering you. You were trying to move away from everything, not talk about it and dwell on it. “I’m not.” you defiantly said, but even you could hear your voice waiver.

“I’ve seen that look before. Your heart is hurting.” Mai’s gaze on you softened and you felt your head drop as you realized you weren’t going to get away with not telling her what had happened. “So tell me what happened with this man you love.”

“I’m just not the kind of person who can be with someone. He deserves better.” You plainly said, even though your heart was pounding and your vision was blurring with the tears that threatened to spill.

“Bullshit.” Mai rolled her eyes and put her cup of caf down on the ground, grabbing both of your shoulders after and looking you dead in the eye. “You are incredible and deserve the best.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled away. “I am a mess. A dangerous mess.”

“What in the kriff are you talking about?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I can’t control... it anymore.” 

Mia nodded knowingly. She wasn’t a Jedi herself, but she was the only person outside of your family who knew of your family and their secret. Your grandmother had explained the Force to her extensively and she knew how you struggled and trained with her. “What happened?”

“There was a man and he was trying to hurt the kid-”

“The kid?!”

You shook your head, waving away her dramatic response. “Not my kid.” You clarified. “He was a foundling. Anyways, this man attacked me when the kid and I were alone and I... killed him. Without even thinking about it. It’s like my body went into auto-pilot and I couldn’t stop it.”

“So that is why you left.”

“Yes. What if I hurt the kid or-” You found his name almost slip from your lips and you pause.

Mai nodded knowingly. “You stopped using the Force?”

“Yes. After everybody died, I couldn’t anymore. That night they attacked... I used it to kill for the first time and I never, ever wanted to do it again.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You nod slowly and Mai let’s out a long sigh. “To clarify, every time you’ve used the Force in this way, it has been to protect people you care about?”

“Yes. I supposed that is true but-”

“And never have you ever hurt anybody who was innocent or you loved?”

“No. But-”

“And you’ve never wanted to hurt anybody who wasn’t posing a direct threat to you or your family?”

You let out a grunt as she continues interrupting. “Yes. But it doesn’t matter. Gram taught me not to use the Force to harm people. And I have multiple times now.”

Mai paused for a moment before letting out an exasperated, tired laugh. “You are so much like her.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your grandmother. You are just like her. She let unnecessary guilt eat away at her.”

“What?”

“You know how your grandmother came here, escaping?”

You sighed, feeling annoyance bubble with your chest. You had heard this story so many times and didn’t know why it mattered. “Yes, but-”

“Your grandmother had done everything she could to protect your mother. Including kill a man.”

Your jaw slacked and you raised your eyebrows at her. “No. She said she never used the Force to hurt anyone.”

“That’s true. Except for once.” Mai grabbed her mug and leaned against the ship you had been working on, taking a long sip of caf as you stood there dumbfounded. “Your grandmother was attacked by her husband - your grandfather - before she left. He hadn’t know your grandmother was a Jedi and once he did, and he realized his daughter was probably one as well, he wanted your grandmother to abandon your mother and told her to never use the Force.

She wasn’t willing to do that. But he was a violent man with a bad temper. And he brutally attacked her. She didn’t lift a finger - until he started approaching your mother. Then, she did what any mother in that situation should do: she protected her child, even if it meant killing someone.”

You let out the deep breath you were holding in, bringing your hands up to rub at your temples. Your system felt like it was in overdrive. The last couple days had just been too much and this was so much information. You didn’t know whether you wanted to cry or yell. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“She was ashamed of it. Let the guilt get to her too much. Never told you or your mother.” Mai shook her head solemnly. “I am not going to say what you did felt great because it didn’t. But what I will say is that what you did was what you had to do.”

“It doesn’t feel like that.”

“That’s okay. But the very fact that you feel guilty shows you are a good person. And you only ever used the Force to protect your family when they were being threatened. There is no reason to assume you are just going to hurt people.” 

You stood in silence, allowing your brain to process everything. You had spent so much time hating yourself and laying yourself in blankets of guilt that you hadn’t even considered anything else. You knew deep down you would never hurt Din or the kid. Never lay a finger on them. And there was no reason to think you would, but the fear had clouded your brain. And even with hearing Mai’s story, learning about the secret your grandmother had kept, a small part of your brain still tugged at you. If you couldn’t even protect your family, what made you think you could do it with your new family? “I’m still afraid.”

“And that is okay. But you can’t just run from it because it scares you.”

“It’s too late though. I left. I have no clue where he is and he probably hates me now.” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how Din was feeling right now. You were sure he hated you now. How could he not after you just left him like that? You had abandoned him and the kid, even though he told you he didn’t want you to leave. Even if you were somehow able to find him, he could probably never trust you again, nonetheless want you to join him and the kid. 

“I’m sure that isn’t true. He is probably confused like you. So is the kid.” That could be true. Din knew something was up yesterday, but you never confided in him what exactly was wrong. You didn’t leave anything behind to indicate what you had left, only the necklace. For all you knew, he could think you left for a myriad reasons. Your heart froze at the thought of him possibly thinking you left because of him. You felt like a damn idiot. “Tell me about them. What’s the kids name?”

You paused and awkwardly chuckled. “The kid doesn’t really have a name...”

“What?” Mai furrowed her eyebrows and stared at you with confusion.

“Well, he isn’t exactly a normal child. He is a creature... I don’t really know how to explain it but we just call him the kid. Or womp rat.”  You laughed as you remembered all the times you jokingly called the kid a womp rat and he would smile up at you, having no clue what you were even calling him but just glad you were around.

“Okay... that makes no sense. What is the mans name?”

“I can’t tell you that either...” You murmured quietly.

Mai tilted her head at you. “Are these two even real?”

“Yes. I just can’t tell you his name. It’s kind of against the rules.”

“The rules?”

“Um, yeah. You see, he is a... well, you know,” You stumbled on your words, worried what her reaction would be if you told her what Din was. She knew of your grandmother’s opinions about Mandalorians and weren’t sure if she shared them.

“Is he a creature too?”

You laughed at the edge in her voice. “No, he is a Mandalorian.” You watched as Mai’s jaw dropped slightly and you nervously rushed to his defense. “But he is a good man and kind and smells nice and-”

“Smells nice?”

“I am going to be completely honest: I have no clue what I am saying.” Mai let out a loud laugh at that and her eyes crinkled from the grin on her face.

“You’ve got it rough.”

You let out your own laugh and shook your head. “Yeah, I do.”

“Your grandmother is probably rolling in her grave somewhere.”

“She would of killed me.” You let out a chuckle at the though. You knew she would be livid if she found out but you also couldn’t help to think she would like Din if she got to meet him and actually get to know him. She would of appreciated his strength and admired his dedication and loyalty. She would of had to look at the man behind all the armor, but once she did, you think they would of gotten along pretty well. 

“You know you have to use this ship to find him now, right?”

You let out a sigh. “He could be anywhere.”

“Can’t you use some Force voo-doo to find him?”

You rolled your eyes at her statement. “The Force isn’t a GPS.”

“If it’s so great, it should be able to do that.” She jokingly teased, throwing a wink your way before walking off to leave you be. 

You sighed and looked at the ship. If you worked all night, you could probably have it fixed and ready by tomorrow afternoon. It wouldn’t be in the greatest shape, but it would be enough to fly it and find Din. You already wasted two days on this and he truly could be anywhere. But you were willing the travel the whole galaxy to find him, so you could at least explain yourself, let him know it wasn’t his fault.

You grabbed one of your tools and walked towards the ship, beginning your work again.

___________________

“How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for a woman.”

“No offense, sir, but that is extremely vague.”

The large man looked back at Din, his red beard covered in grease, along with his clothing. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows were furrowed together in confusion, but he still had a small smile on his face. 

Din had landed on Jakku this morning, just a little bit of a way out from the Niima Trading Post. She had mentioned her family had lived close by here, which meant her father would of worked as a mechanic here. As soon as he entered town, he and the child asked the first person they saw where there was a mechanic shop. Din couldn’t imagine it wouldn’t be the first place she would stop at, whether it be to ask for a job or to simply see it.

The shop was small, definitely older and a little run down, but it was taken care of. Din couldn’t help but to imagine her as a child or teenager working here with her dad like she had told Din about. Seeing it gave Din a new perspective on her past. “She would of stopped by in the last day or so. She always wears this brown jacket and-”

“Oh, the family friend.” The man gave him a knowing nod and Din felt relief flood all his senses. He had been so worried he would of come here and she would of been nowhere to be found. That he had been wrong and she could’ve been on any planet, anywhere. But hearing him confirm she had been here made Din’s heart feel lighter than it had in hours and hours now.

“Yes. Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She talked to Mai and then left.” The man paused, his smile dropping slightly. “You’re one of those Mandalorians, right? If she is a bounty of yours, I’m afraid I can’t-”

“She isn’t. She is a...,” Din drifted off. Friend felt like a foolish word. She was so much more than a friend to him but that was still what he settled on. “friend.”

“Oh!” The man smiled once again. The child, who was sat in his carrier on Din’s waist let out a little peep and the man looked over at him. He gave the child a huge grin, waving a couple of his fingers at him. Afterwards, he glanced back over at Din with a shrug. “Like I said, she left and hasn’t come back. But Mai should be in soon and she might know something.”

Din nodded and let the man turn away to resume his work. He hoped desperately she was still here. He didn’t think she would of left, but it was possible she came to the shop to get a new ship and leave - though it didn’t appear any ships were for sale here.

He studied the trading post. It was early morning and was rather quiet, not much excitement happening. A few people were starting to open their booths while some headed out into the sand, presumably scavengers. Most of the people kept to themselves, the kindest individual so far being the man who worked at the shop. Din found it hard to imagine his cyar’ika having lived here. She was so exuberant and full of life. A place like this seemed so dull for her sprawling personality - though he supposed it was exponentially more exciting compared to Yungbrii. 

Din kept a look out all around, hoping he’d see her. Hoping she’d walk by and he could stop her, tell her to come back. Din knew that if he found out she was gone and no longer here, it would crush him completely. He was already low on hope and he needed some. Even if she didn’t want to come back, Din just wanted to know she was safe and happy. That would be enough for him. 

“Oh, Mai, someone is here to see you.” Din turned as he heard the man’s voice bellow out and watched as a woman looked over at him. She was older but still had a youthful aura to her. Her gray hair was pulled into a braid and her hands were wrapped around a mug of what Din assumed to be caf. She gave him a big smile, an action that shocked Din. He wasn’t usually greeted with a smile.

“I’m looking for someone.” Din said as she walked over to him.

She let out a chuckle, shaking her head. “Yeah, yeah. I know you are.” Her gaze drifted over to the bag on his side where the child was held and he watched her eyes widen slightly. “He must be the womp rat?”

Din looked down to the child who looked at the woman with a little frown. He loved when his mother called him a womp rat, but not so much with other people. Din looked back up at the woman who was still smiling, a sly little smirk that reminded him of his sweet one. “Where is she?”

The woman, Mai, looked up at him and nodded her head. “She is still here. Don’t worry. Good thing you came now though. She was planning on leaving this afternoon.”

Din thanked the galaxy she hadn’t left yet and he hadn’t waited to come. “I need to see her.”

“I’ll take you to her. She is at my place.” 

“Thank you.”

She smiled again at him and before she turned to lead him, she quirked her head at him. “I’m glad you came.” Din tilted his helmet at her. “She mentioned you and the kid to me.”

Din wondered what he had said about him, wanting to ask but not wanting to seem invasive or waste time. He just gave Mai a small nod and she turned around, starting to walk, and Din followed her.

___________________

“Hey, kid.”

You heard Mai’s voice ring out behind you but you didn’t bother to look away. You were so close to being done on the ship when you found some big issue with the engine. You were now covered in oil, intently working away at it with a tool in each hand. “This ship is a total bitch.”

“Kid-”

“I was so close to being done and it just crapped out on me, spitting oil all over.” You huffed as you brushed a piece of hair behind your ear, knowing you got oil on your face but not really caring. “I take back what I said: this is the worst ship I’ve ever seen. I swear it’s doing it on purpose. I ought to-”

“Kid!” 

You let out a grunt as she yelled out, putting your tools down and turning to see her standing in the doorway of the small garage she had. You jumped down from your spot on the ship and strolled towards her, wiping your hands on the overalls she had let you borrow. “Yes, madam?” you sarcastically responded.

“You have a friend here to see you.” 

You froze and felt your heart start to pound in your chest. It had to be Din. There was no one else it could be. Who else would be here to see you? You brought your shaky hands together and took a deep breath. “Is it...” 

You couldn’t bear to bring yourself to ask the question, afraid your heart would crumble if it wasn’t. “It’s either your Mandalorian or a man with a very odd taste in clothing.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. You wanted to run out, see if it was him, and hold him your arms. But you were so afraid, for reasons unknown to you. Din had come to you. He had found you and that was a good sign, right? He wouldn’t have come all this way if he didn’t want to see you. But you still nervously chewed at your lip. Mai sensed your nerves and gave you a pat on the shoulder. “He is waiting for you outside.”

You nodded your head and slowly walked out of the garage. As soon as you exited, you saw him standing there, with his back to you, and you nearly cried. It was Din, your Din. He stood upright, his arms crossed in front of him, and the child on his side sitting in his carrier. He was the first one to say anything, turning his head and letting out a coo as he saw you. His big ears that hung out of the bag twitched and his eyes brightened. 

You gave him a small smile but felt it drop once Din turned around, being alerted of your presence by the child’s noises. His arms dropped but he didn’t step closer to you, his helmet steadily aimed at you. Part of you felt so incredibly happy seeing him. The sight of him standing in front of you was something you were worried would never happen again. And though it had only been a couple days, it felt like a damn year. Seeing him made you realized just how much you had missed him. You open your mouth, not knowing exactly what to say but wanting to say something, anything, just so you could hear him speak. But he was the first one to.

“You left me.”

You felt your heart instantly shatter at his words. You wanted to crawl into yourself and disappear. It wasn’t that you weren’t aware that your leaving would hurt Din, but you didn’t truly consider how much of an impact it would have on him. Maybe you did so selfishly because you know you’d stay if you did, or maybe you truly didn’t understand just how much the man cared for you until you heard the pain in his voice, the way his breath hitched in the modulator when he saw you. Hearing the inflection of his tone was what sent you over the edge. All the emotions of the last few days washed over you and you felt exhausted. “Mando-”

“Why would you leave me?”

Where did you start? There were so many things you wanted to say, but you didn’t know where to start and the pounding of your heart in your chest distracted you. You were scared. Scared to tell Din what was really going on and to watch him walk away. Or scared to find out he didn’t want you back anyways. “It is hard to explain and understand...”

“So you just leave?”

You feel yourself wince at the harsh words. Isn’t that what you always did though? Run away? You supposed it had become a habit of yours, but that wasn’t fair to yourself. Nonetheless to the man in front of you. “I’m sorry.”

Din finally tore his gaze away from you, placing his hand on his hip that the kid wasn’t at, staring into the sky. “I’m not here to force you back.”

You tried to feverishly blink back the tears threatening to spill. He didn’t want you. You had messed up this time. Din allowed one person into his life finally and then they turn around and leave. Of course he doesn’t want you. “Oh, okay.”

“If you don’t want to be with us, you don’t have to be.” You wanted to scream at yourself, tell him all you want is to be with him and the kid. 

“Mando-”

“I know there isn’t something your telling me. And I assume it’s why you left.” Din looked back towards you, the sun reflecting off his helmet and making the beskar even brighter than normal.  “Or maybe it is me-”

“No!” You interrupted, stepping towards him. “It isn’t you. At all.”

“Then what is going on? Because I’m lost.” You bring a hand to rub at your face, no longer caring about the grease and oil on them. You needed to just tell him, because you couldn’t handle the thought of him blaming himself for anything. “I don’t know why you can’t tell me.”

You pause and take a breath in, looking away. “Din.” You whispered.

“Please.” You heard the slight crack in his voice, the way his words wavered, and looked at him to find him stepping closer, his helmet tilted down to look right at you. 

“I lied to you.”

Din tilted his helmet slightly. “What?”

“When you asked about my family. If there were Jedis... I lied.” You froze, looking up to him to try to gage his reaction but he remained frozen, still just looking down at you. You wished desperately he didn’t have the helmet, so you could see his expression and try to know what he was thinking, because right now it was like looking at a blank wall. “You need to say something.”

“I don’t... understand.”

“My grandmother was one. My mother was one. And I’m one, kind of.” You waited for his to step away from you or tell you he couldn’t do this but he stayed in the same position so you continued. “I was always taught not to tell anyone and my grandmother told me Mandalorians hate Jedis. I didn’t want to tell you and have you leave me.”

Din finally turned away from you, looking into the distance, as the child on his hip still looked up at you while cooing softly, one little hand reaching out. “I wouldn’t leave you. I told you that.”

“That was before you knew this.”

“I don’t care.”

“But-”

“I don’t care.” He repeated softly. You couldn’t see the truth in his face, but you could hear it. But you still felt your mind eating away at you.

“I’m not a good one. I didn’t even really finish training and haven’t used it regularly in years. I can’t train the kid. He will need another Jedi.”

“I don’t care.”

“I killed that man with the Force. I killed a man.”

“I don’t care.”

You let out an exasperated laugh and huffed at him, throwing a hand up. “How do you not care?”

“You do realize what my job is?”

You guess you had never really considered Din’s job. He hadn’t had to do any bounty hunting with you, the first body he had brought in being the bounty you had killed. You knew what he did, knew he had probably killed plenty of people, if not hundreds. But it never really crossed your mind or made you hesitant. He was a good man and he was only doing his job, one he had been saddled with at a young age. “Yes, but that’s different.”

“You’re right. You did it to protect the kid. ”

“But what if I can’t control it? That’s not the first time I’ve killed someone with the Force.”

“Was the last time to protect your family?”

“I mean, I tried to... yes.” 

“Then I don’t care.” 

“Din-”

“I don’t care about you being a Jedi or whatever you are exactly. You’re my cyar’ika, okay? This... magic stuff you have doesn’t change how I think of you.”

You almost chuckled at the way Din spoke about ‘magic stuff’, knowing he was completely clueless, but you settled on a soft smile, still tainted with sadness and regret. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me. Or the kid. You are a good person. The best person I’ve ever met.”

You felt a weight lift off your chest at his words, that little part of your mind that had been gnawing away at you fading away. You suddenly felt stupid for not telling him all this time. How had even the smallest part of you thought he had cared? You always took what you family taught you seriously, but maybe you had taken it too far. Din was different than everyone else and you should of known that he would be okay with it. And maybe you did know. Deep down,  a little part of yourself always knew that in the end, Din wouldn’t care or really understand it. Maybe it was you who couldn’t accept what you were, what you had done. But you had to move on from that.

You looked up at Din and rested a hand on his chest plate, watching how it rose and fell with each breath he took. It was warm on your hand, but a welcome sensation. “I’m sorry.” you whispered out, your voice trembling.

“It’s okay.” He insisted, bringing a hand to rest over the one on his chest. 

“No, it’s not. I left you and the kid.”

“And I found you.” One of his hands reached out to grab onto your wrist, the warm leather of his glove rubbing circles into the skin. “You can’t do that again though. I need you.”

You nodded up at him. “I need you, too.” 

Din let out a sigh of relief and leaned his helmet against your forehead quickly. The metal of his helmet was warm, but it was a welcome feeling against your skin. You felt your heart stop racing, your hand begin to calm and shake less. You hadn’t realized just quite how much you needed Din, but you did. He was your home now. You pulled away and felt a small smile creep on your face. “You’ve got oil on your helmet now.”

You grabbed a rag out of your back pocket, handing it to him so he could wipe it away. Din did so, and handed it back to you. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” You stepped back from him, with a small smile.

“Sweet one?”

“Yeah?”

You watched as Din froze up, looking down at the ground and back up at you. His fist tightened a little and you swore you saw his hand shake for the first time. “I want you to know that I...” He trailed off and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. Please say it. “I’m glad you are back.”

You felt silly for a second at his response but just nodded in response, giving him a grin. “Me too.”

“You want to clean up and we can go?”

“Can we actually do one thing before we go?”

“Of course.”

___________________

Din watched as she stepped forwards, her gaze stuck on the sight before them. The child looked up at Din, seeming to understand the significance of the moment. He had a sad little expression on his face and stayed completely silent, sitting in the carrier solemnly. Din stood back, standing upright as he watched her kneel down on the sand and reach a hand out to graze the three stones in front of her.

It was completely silent. They had traveled a bit outside of town, to a spot where only three gravestones stood and nothing else. No names were marked on them but they stood on their own, nothing around them except for sand. Din assumed a place like Jakku didn’t have a graveyard, making this a rare sight to see.

She took a minute before standing back up and stepping back. She stood next to Din again, her gaze drifting into the distance. “Our house was somewhere right there.”

It was the first thing she had said since she told him what she wanted to do before they left. Din looked over to where she was looking. There was nothing to see, the parts of the house that had remained probably having been taken by scavengers and the rest had been ash. Din looked over at her. She was standing upright, her shoulders stood back, and her stare was intense. She looked strong. Din was shocked to see a small smile on her face. “My father once tried to plant a fruit tree here. Said somebody at the Post had given him seeds to plant. He waited months and months to see if anything would grow and when it didn’t, he dug up the seeds only for my grandmother to tell him they were teeth from some animal.” A laugh escaped her lips and Din found himself smiling. He had grown accustomed to that laugh and it had become one of his favorite sounds. He had missed it desperately.

“My mother couldn’t cook. It was actually rather pathetic how bad she was at it. But one time, for my birthday, she tried to make a cake. She got all the ingredients for it - even though they were almost impossible to find here - and worked on it for hours. And when we cut into it, it was just goo inside. I don’t even know how she did it.” She let out a louder laugh, a bigger grin on her face as she relived the memories. Din was relieved to see her like this. So often when she spoke of her family, her words always held a tint of sadness. Like she was always mourning and couldn’t accept what had been taken from her. This was the first time Din had ever heard her tell stories of her family without that sadness. She wasn’t mourning anymore. She was celebrating their lives.

“Oooh!” He heard her voice rise, clapping her hands together as she excitedly recalled another story.  “One time, my grandmother tried to set me on a blind date which confused me because she always told me relationships were a waste of time. But, I went because she wouldn’t stop nagging me about it and the damn woman had me go on a date with a Crolute! He didn’t wear shoes and had flipper feet. It was awful and she thought it was the funniest prank she had ever pulled.”

Din let out a chuckle at that one, watching as she threw her head back in laughter. Even the child joined in, letting out a small noise that could be discerned as a giggle. She looked over at Din with a bright smile, the sun blazing behind her, and it took his breath away. Without thinking, he reached a hand out and grabs hers.

She looked down at their hands and intertwined her fingers. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“I’m glad you wanted me to come.”

“You can’t meet them but I don’t know.” She shrugged with a sheepish smile. “I think maybe they are somewhere. Seeing this.” Din didn’t say anything but she looked over at him. “They would of liked you.”

Din felt a warmth fill his chest. He imagined he would of liked them as well, especially if they were anything like the woman he loved. “Thank you.”

She smiled at him and leaned closer to him, their shoulders now brushing together. “Din?”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go home.”

She began to tug his arm away from the gravestones, her hand still intertwined with him, and started marching towards the Crest that she now called home. Din couldn’t help to think though that his home was being held in his hand in this very moment. 

Tag List: @ilikethoseodds @dindaddy @poguesvixen @starspangledwidow @fangirlalexia @the-scandalorian @ka-x-in @keepcalmandblogstuff @the-lady-of-stars @orneryscandalousevil @spaghetti-666​ @afootnoteinyourhappiness​

#din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin imagine #din djarin x reader #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian imagine #din djarin x you #mandalorian fanfiction #mandalorian imagine #mandalorian x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine #star wars fanfic #din djarin fanfic #connection series

[romioneficfest]

Nice to Meet You

Title: Nice to Meet You

Prompt/Day: Enemies to Lovers (Day 8)

Tumblr Name: 

Rating: T

Brief Summary: "The moment I first saw her, I knew I was in trouble." A muggle university AU one-shot featuring Ron/Hermione.

Any possible triggering/warning tags: Mild swearing (because Ron can't clean up his language)

Word Count: 1,490

--

The moment I first saw her, I knew I was in trouble.

On a Saturday night during my final year at university, I was at a massive house party, drinking merrily.

I was on my third round of flip cup when I inadvertently flicked the cup too hard. I watched it soar through the air until it bounced off the top of a girl’s head.

“Oh, fuck,” I chuckled, stumbling my way through the throng of people before my feet landed in front of the large armchair she occupied.

She had long, frizzy, curly hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. The way her nostrils flared back at me,  I suspected that she was pretty mad.

"Sorry about that. I think they’re going to have to cut me off," I apologized, hoping my speech wasn’t too slurred.

The mysterious girl rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. Her lack of a verbal response offended me, and I couldn’t just walk away.

There was an open book on her lap. "Are you reading? At a party?"

"Yeah. So?"

I was taken aback by her cold demeanor, although I recovered quickly.

"So, I feel like most people come to a party to socialize with other people, not to ignore them. If you want to read, why not just curl up on your sofa at home?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, looking annoyed by my decision to continue chatting with her. She clapped her book shut with a loud thud, her eyes blazing with an emotion that I could only decipher as fury.

“I’ll have you know that I agreed to be the designated driver for my flatmate tonight. I’d rather wait here than drive all the way home and back again. The last thing I want right now is to be interrogated by some clumsy drunk.”

“Ha!” The more I spoke to this girl, the more she riled me up. "You’re quite high and mighty, aren’t you? Aren’t we so lucky that you graced us with your presence tonight—”

“Who are you?” She interjected icily.

“I’m me. A human being. Nice to meet you!” I held out my hand for her to shake in a mock gesture that proved to be ineffective.

“You’re a mess.”

“And you’re a nightmare, honestly.”

Her eyes darkened, and I regretted my choice of words. “If you think I’m such a nightmare, then why are you still standing here speaking with me?”

I bent over and picked up the plastic cup, crushing it between my fingers as I stomped off, leaving the room with the tips of my ears burning. I didn't even catch her name, but I didn't think I wanted it.

--

I stumbled out of bed on Monday morning and trudged my way towards my favorite coffee shop, in desperate need of my daily dose of caffeine to make it through a long day of classes. My head was still throbbing from the events over the weekend, which did nothing to alleviate my sour mood.

When I pushed open the door, the wafting odor of coffee beans invaded my nostrils. Before I could seek out the counter to place my order, my eyes landed on someone that made me freeze in place.

Bloody fucking course.

It was the girl from the party. I almost laughed out loud. She still had her nose deep in a book despite the location change.

Sighing to myself, I walked up to the counter to place my usual order — black.

I sat on the stool at the bar counter, observing the infuriating girl as I waited for my coffee. I shook my head in amazement. She never looked up from her bloody book. Not even once.

My name was called, and I wrapped my calloused hand around the to-go cup, nodding my head in appreciation towards the barista. My hand was on the door when I paused. For reasons unknown at the time, something was pulling me back. My feet started to move of their own volition until I was standing in front of her table.

I waited a few moments for her to notice me, but of course, she still had her head buried in that book of hers. Eventually, I cleared my throat, and she raised her head with her brows furrowed and her lips pressed in a thin line.

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Fancy meeting you here,” I smirked.

“Something I can help you with?” She sighed through gritted teeth.

I tapped my chin, pretending to think. “Oh, I don’t know. Depends on if you’re ready to apologize to me for Saturday night.”

The girl’s eyebrows raised so high they disappeared underneath her fringe. “Me? Apologize to you? After you were the one who called me a nightmare? Don’t make me laugh.”

“Only because you said I was a mess first!” I never realized how petty I was until now. I decided to switch gears. “Look, I’m sorry for hitting you in the head. And I think we got off to an awkward start. My name is—”

“I know who you are. You’re Ron Weasley,” she said matter-of-factly.  

I winced, feeling guilty. “I didn’t think we’d ever met before.”

“We haven’t met properly. But we’ve shared many classes.”

“I think I would’ve noticed if—”

“We have. And you definitely didn’t notice me until last Saturday.”

The pit in my stomach grew. “Well, I’d like to know you now.” I stuck out my hand in a gesture meant as a peace offering. “I’m Ron Weasley. And, you are?”

The girl studied me for a long, hard minute before extending her hand forward. “I’m Hermione Granger.”

I couldn’t understand why my heart started racing, or why I had to wipe my sweaty palm on my trousers after letting go of her hand.

“Well, Hermione Granger, it's nice to meet you.”

--

When I finally realized that I was attracted to her, I was already a goner.

It was near the end of my final year at university when I had first stepped foot into the school library, and it was all because of her.

Hermione looked surprised to see me and even more startled to see the pile of books I had tucked underneath my arm. Wordlessly, I sat down at her table across from her and began to flip through the textbooks of the classes I knew we shared.

We continued meeting in the library weekly, studying in silence. It wasn’t until one day in late spring, when we had the entire library to ourselves, that she finally spoke.

“Why are you here?”

I tilted my head. “I’m here every week.”

“I know that. But, why?”

“I want to be.”

“And why is that?”

“Do I have to have a reason?”

“Everyone always has a reason for doing something.”

“I like you, okay?”

“And there is no hidden agenda?”

“Why does there have to be a hidden agenda to spend time with someone? Up until right now, I was quite enjoying your company.”

“Oh, so now you’re not?”

“Not really, no. Not if you’re going to keep making me out to be someone I’m not.”

“And who are you, Ron Weasley?”

“I’m someone who doesn’t need to take this shit. I’m out of here.” I shuffled my books into my bag, ignoring her calls as I charged out the door.

The door slammed shut behind me with a resounding bang. I clenched my fists at my side and willed myself not to look back. After a few steadying breaths, I knew there was only one choice to make.

I turned around.

I saw her crying, and all I wanted to do was wipe the tears away. The pang in my chest indicated I was the reason she was upset.

I turned the knob on the door, listening to the sound of it creak as I opened it just enough to slide through the crack.

Hermione placed a hand over her heart, appearing startled to see me again. She used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the tear stains, her face flushed. All I could think about was how beautiful she still looked, despite how open and vulnerable she was at that moment.

With more determination than I had ever felt before, I rushed towards her, watching her lips part and eyes widen in surprise as I drew closer. I cupped both of her cheeks with my large hands, dipped my head low, and kissed her full on the mouth. She responded fervently, clutching at my shoulders as our lips roamed together. It felt natural and right.

I pulled back mere centimeters and whispered on her lips. “Do you get it now?”

“Y-yeah.”

I searched her eyes, my hands still cupping her face. “I’m going to sit back down, and we’re going to keep studying together. Okay?”

The corners of her lips curved up into the first smile I ever saw from her. “Okay.”

#hpfic #romione ficfest 2021 #romione #ron weasley #hermione granger #Queue up for the Dragon #cw: #cw:swearing

[skellebonez]

Hear me out: Spider Macaque in the Spider Monkie AU with prompts 14 and 35?

I hear you and oh this was way too much fun... I took a great deal of liberty with exactly how Mac transforms into his Spider Monkie form and who says what and the TIMELINE because I... re-wrote this into a ship fic because of you. I call it ShadowCodingShipping because someone had to name MacaqueSyntax eventually! I guess you could say this is definitely a what-if story more than anything.

Warning for body horror because Mac is slowly turning half spider and that's kinda gross and painful. Also this is hurt/comfort but heavy on the HURT. This does not have a happy ending.

Am I scaring you?/I believe I can be of some help here.

"Am I scaring you?" Macaque asked with a smirk, pain clearly barely held at bay behind it. The monkey demon was a mess, fur tussled and miscolored splotches that hadn't yet grown in properly littered his torso. His torso that had gained a good inch in the last failed attempt at... what they were trying to accomplish. "... are you going to answer me, scientist?"

Syntax did not answer. Whether it was out of fear or knowing that regardless his answer would not make the demon leave him be even he didn't know.

"Queenie calls you Syntax," Macaque continued, moving around the computer to watch him over the screen. "That can't be your name, can it? I didn't give enough of a shit to ask before now. Hey. Hey. Hey. H-"

"No, it is not my birth name," the scientist snapped eventually, watching as Macaque smirked in victory. "Only a complete fool would agree to work with someone as infamous as the Spider Queen and use their legal name as if they were sending an unencrypted message containing confidential information across basic messaging applications without a VPN. What in the world are you trying to accomplish?"

"Ooooo, wordy," Macaque chuckled out as he leaned against the monitor and made it tilt at an awkward angle. "I'm. Bored. Entertain me, scientist, you're the most interesting person in this place. believe it or not."

Syntax raised a brow at the demon, sighing as he continued to type into the computer. "Do you want this to be finished any time soon? Because the more you bother me the longer it will take. I may be able to multitask but humans have limits."

Macaque scowled for a moment before shrugging, failing at hiding a grimace of pain. It must have made the new bones in his spine ache horribly. But he moved easily past Syntax without a word, only whipping his tail against his shoulder as he left.

It didn't hurt at all... he wondered what the point of the gesture even was.

~

The screaming rang through the entire hideout, Syntax's ears ringing even as he covered them. They'd tried twice more in their attempts at Macaque's twisted idea, Spider Queen slowly seeming to become less and less comfortable with not only their methods but with what they were even doing. It was working, sort of, but not correctly.

The changes were supposed to be immediate, so fast that the pain receptors wouldn't register properly. Not for the comfort of the converted, but so that it would happen so quickly they wouldn't be able to fight it. Less pain, less of a change for your body to try to fight off the transformation. Syntax had insisted on mechanical changes, nano-bots or something of the sort instead of organic growth. Macaque himself had vetoed this, saying something about how it wouldn't make him feel whole again.

This made the changes slow. Too slow, so much so that the mixture was fought off by his immortal monkey biology too quickly for it to take hold the way it was supposed to, requiring Syntax to make it stronger and stronger each time in the hopes it would finally kick in.

Now Macaque laid on the ground, holding his face and screaming so much Syntax feared his vocal cords would give out. The last two treatments had lengthened his torso even more and changed his fur consistency entirely. Once soft and thick black fur was a mixture of that and the coarse purple hair of a spider, not meshing together at all and instead forming an odd pattern on his body. At some points silver had begun to peak through, though if that was supposed to happen or if it was a reaction to the sheer stress of his body undergoing a change that should not be happening he was not sure. Syntax could see the red mark on his face warping, changing into the same purple on his torso around his eyes and moving up on his face as two more eyes grew above the ones he already had. It was fascinating to be sure, and he would have said that it was almost pretty had it not seen the build up of them forming in a fashion he wished to never see in slow build up ever again.

He was a scientist. He was supposed to be impartial to his work above all else, and he had agreed to help of... mostly his own volition. But this... This made him more uncomfortable than he was ready to admit.

"Help him up," Spider Queen said after Macaque collapsed onto the floor, screaming ceased as his body fought off the mixture for the fourth time. She looked... perturbed. Discomforted. "After his last treatment... move on to your idea. We are not doing this again."

She moved out of the room quickly, to fast to even tell her if he would or not, covering the side of her face with her hand to shield her from the sight of the collapse man on the floor. Yes... discomforted indeed.

Syntax didn't have that luxury. And he would not leave Macaque to lay on the floor regardless of orders. But the way he shook and covered his new eyes and the small amount of tears leaking from his normal eyes made a pang of pity shoot through him. He was a scientist... but he was still human.

"I believe I can be of some help here," he said softly, taking off his lab coat and folding it part way before shoving it under Macaque's head and laying the unfolded part over his face. The demon let out a half whimper, clearly bit back as he didn't want to show weakness, but eased ever so slightly as he realized the coat blocked out the light of the lab just as well as his hands had. "It's not a perfect solution, but it gets the job done.

"Th-thought Queenie s-said to help me u-up," Macaque stuttered out, moving his hands to grip the coat instead of his eyes.

"Yes, but that would be a bad idea," Syntax explained, sitting on the floor next to him with a sigh. He pulled his tablet down from a nearby table, there was no point in not getting at least some work done, and began scribbling away with the attached pen. "Your eyes are far too sensitive and with the other changes you have gone through your body will likely collapse again before we could get you to a cot. It's best you remain stationary for the time being until I am able to assess your pain tolerance properly, then I will move you to your quarters."

Macaque didn't say anything, just huffed in reply and seemed to relax. Syntax wondered if he was thankful he wouldn't have to move immediately this time, and he could have sworn he heard something... rumbling.

Maybe it was the machinery behind them.

He felt Macaque's tail hit his side after a while, thumping softly against him... but he didn't push it away.

He wondered if this would change anything at all.

~

Syntax saw more of Macaque than usual after that. Sometimes he would wander into his lab and just... stay there. Silent as the shadows he liked to hide in. Sometimes he would just watch him work, other times he would bring him plums or mangoes. Syntax never had much of a taste for fruit, not really enjoying any form of sweets, but he would not pass up free food when his stomach rumbled in protest from his long hours. One time Macaque had brought in a book, sat on his desk, and just read it.

That was bizarre, even for him. But Syntax found he didn't exactly mind the company. It was quite... lonely in the lab. He was the only human in the Spider Queen's entourage and her other two companions weren't exactly the best company. Oh, the big guy was nice and all and Syntax even enjoyed his presence well enough. But he would grow bored of the scientist's techno babble and science talk eventually and leave with a nod and a wave goodbye. He was grateful that he seemed to listen, however, even if he wasn't interested in the specifics.

The other one, however, was a pain in his ass. Constantly one upping him, trying to belittle him for being a human, just being an all around annoyance. He tried to act cool and suave but Syntax just found him obnoxious.

Macaque... Macaque stayed, listened even if Syntax ran out of things to talk about. And it was oddly nice. He felt himself growing excited for when the part-spider part-monkey would make his presence known.

He wondered, distantly... if Macaque was starting to mean something to him. To matter, in a way.

~

The day of the final treatment eventually arrived and Syntax actually dreaded what might happen. This was their last shot to make this work completely, there was a greater than 0% chance that this would cause irreparable damage to the monkey demon if they had to continue farther. But it seemed his worries were unfounded. He was smart, a genius even. He had done his job properly, even if it had taken far too long and was the least beneficial way to accomplish the goal.

Macaque screamed worse than with every other treatment, and understandably do. It would have shocked him if Macaque hadn't since he was growing two new arms.

The Spider Queen had taken her leave shortly after, disgusted by the sight before her. It was Syntax's job to watch as Macaque slowly changed before him, bones and muscle and sinew growing slowly and bit by until finally... finally it was finished.

They had learned from last time, placing a cot on the ground for him to sit on while this happened, and he collapsed onto his back. Two new arms limp against the floor as he shook and twitched and cried cold tears in agony. But it was finished.

Syntax couldn't stop himself. He rushed forward, kneeling beside Macaque's head, watching his eyes and expression for recognition and any sign that he was alright. It had only been two weeks since the last treatment, the time needed for him to recuperate, but in that short time... he had grown oddly fond of the man on the cot. He did not know what he felt for him, not yet, but he knew that he did not dislike him in the slightest.

"Ma-Macaque?" He asked softly after no response for nearly 15 minutes, waiting and watching and finally Macaque's eyes turned to him. "How do you feel?"

Macaque didn't say anything to him at first. Just blinked before a weak chuckle resounded from his throat.

"Whole."

~

The transformation was a mistake. Syntax had never felt guilt for any of his scientific achievement before, and he did not feel guilt for helping the Spider Queen in her endeavor, bit this? This he felt guilt for.

Macaque was in pain. Constantly. Sometimes it was just a dull ache, other times he almost collapsed as something moved the way it shouldn't and he had to bite back a scream. But there was no taking it back now and Macaque reveled in "feeling whole" again.

Syntax felt a mix of awe and wonder whenever he looked at the demon. He was... handsome, the purples and blacks and silvers of his fur blending together properly now. His eyes brilliant gold and green. And when he wasn't in pain his smile was nice, soft even if he could call it that. He was unsure of how much of it was true, he knew the Six-Eared Macaque to be a trickster. But he hoped some of it was, at least when directed at him.

But when he was in pain his face twisted in a way that made Syntax sick to his stomach to see it each time the agony rang true on his face. But Macaque brushed it off, not seeming to pay it much mind. Not when he had his eyes and arms "back".

The Spider Queen agreed with him, he could tell, but probably not for the same reasons. She seemed frightened of him. Goliath and Huntsman were just scared of him too. They avoided him like he would kill them on sight.

Syntax, despite his guilt, welcomes his presence still. He was not frightened of Macaque in the least. No, he just felt guilt that he was in pain. And he would never not want to help him through that now. The spider monkie had grown attached to him, almost a constant companion at his side. And he had grown fond of him as well.

He learned that Macaque had a flair for the theater. He made shadow puppets when the Spider Queen wasn't watching, though for what purpose and what audience Syntax had not asked. He liked to watch Syntax work, and eventually as he started to rest his head on the human's shoulder he learned the rumbling from the second to last treatment was a purr. He didn't know demons could purr, let alone to speed up recovery from injuries.

But the day of the Lunar New Year was coming and Syntax could tell he had something else... someone else on his mind.

~

The next day was to be the day. Syntax's last chance to get the new formula and tech right. It almost felt like a repeat of the past treatments but with less screaming. He was worried.

Macaque wasn't, however. He had never been worried, assuring the Spider Queen (sometimes through growls and bared teeth) that it would be done in time. He'd been a success after all. (Syntax said nothing each time.)

They'd never been this close before, but Macaque had eventually dragged the scientist away from his computer for rest. Taken him to his room, sat on the bed with him, and just. Held him. Purring loud and deep and eventually Syntax was lulled into slumber sitting up against the soft-coarse fur of Macaque.

He realized that Macaque mattered to him more than he cared to admit.

~

Syntax had failed. His formula and tech hadn't worked. They only had one shot left, and there was no time for him to fix his mistakes before the end of the celebration. Macaque had been in too much pain, on the other side of the room, to tell Spider Queen off this time. It was all over...

Until she came. The young woman in white and blue. She'd done something, added an ingredient he had not been able to calculate for, and then...

"Let's give it a spin," Spider Queen had said with a smirk as she turned toward her human scientist... her human guinea pig.

"Wait, no!" Syntax backed up, knowing that it was almost pointless to attempt escape. There was nowhere to run. "I helped you! You need me! Maca-AGH!"

Before the spider monkie could rush to his side the little spider drone had jumped on Syntax, adhering itself to his face before he fell backward over some machinery. It crawled around him, situating itself on his back and digging in it's injectors and

pain agony pain pain something came out of his back pain another painpainhescreamedandscreamed ANOTHER AGONYISTHISWHATMACAQUEFELTPAIN one more

And then it was over. Syntax felt... nothing. No pain. No agony.

No... guilt.

He stood straight, facing forward before kneeling. He knew what he had to do.

"My queen."

Yes. His queen. The Spider Queen.

She was the only one who mattered to him.

He heard his name spoken from the other side of the room but paid it no mind. That voice didn't matter to him.

That wasn't the voice of his queen.

~

"Syntax?" Macaque called, unable to stand from his spot as his arms throbbed in ghost pain. He had tried to stand before, when the drone had lunged at him, but the pain shot through him for a split second and send him to his knees too quickly.

His screams... his screams made his ears pull back not from the pain of the volume but from fear and something else.

Then Syntax stopped screaming and stood and knelt before the Queen.

"Syntax!"

... he never responded.

Macaque wondered if this is what guilt felt like.

#oops all SAD #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #ship fic #hurt/comfort #six eared macaque #syntax #shadowcodingshipping #fun fact: Shadow Code is when devs include third-party code without approval or any safety validation #considering the way this ship came about here I THINK THAT FITS

[saphirered]

Something to tug at the heartstrings: How about a sequel to Ghost, wherein the reader loses Lucien a second time but, eventually, finally, finds happily ever after with Kingsley? A sorta soulmate AU, where the reader is just meant to be with this soul. Thank you! 💜

Okay, this one turned out a loooooot longer than I intended but I'm happy with the way it turned out. Definitely something to pull on your heartstrings with a good amount of angst and fluff. Hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting! 😘

-

You knew it was over, the end had come when even across the worlds you felt like a final thread within you had snapped yet you felt nothing, just empty. You knew that moment would come at one point and while you hoped things could have been different… No, things could never have ended differently. Even then, you already knew there was a madness, greed and hunger for power within Lucien he could never escape. Never would it be enough. He’d stop at nothing and would sacrifice everything if that meant he’d achieve his goals. He was willing to do it before, he had done so before and would do it again a thousand times over.

Lucien had been angry, upset, trying to convince you this is not where it had to end between you two. That you could follow him along this path, forever, no longer bound by a fate not your own, a life in the hands of another. You could truly have been free. You could have been like gods among the ants left at the mercy of the whims of circumstance. That’s what he promised you. He promised you greatness, the world, a future of your own making, power, riches, you could have named your price and he’d offered it to you. Lucien had told you no price would be too steep for him but you had found one.

You’d asked him, once faced with the choice, would he choose you or would he risk it all in the pursuit of this damned purpose of his? Lucien didn’t have an immediate answer. Those moments of silence before his honeyed words were enough for you to know the real answer and deflecting, dancing around the truth like he had, all of it was just a dead give away. Nevertheless he tried to keep you at his side because if you know one thing, Lucien is a selfish man and he’d do anything and everything in his power to keep you at his side unless you’d leave of your own volition.

Lavish gifts, romantic gestures, luxuries he’d bestow upon no other, no expense was too great, no time wasted and no love spared. Lucien really went all out to show you just how much you mean to him, how much he needs you, needs you at his side. But nothing could make up for the fact that in the end he wasn’t sure wether he’d choose you or power when faced with the ultimatum. He knew that if he asked you, you’d give your life for him but he could not return the favour and his love knew boundaries set by his idealistic purpose. The more time you spent with him, the clearer that became.

When you became more reserved, coming to terms with this truth that did not mean you distanced yourself from Lucien. You still loved him and that wouldn’t change but like before, you refused to be part of his own demise. You’d not stand idly and watch as he went on a suicide mission with some perverted shadow of what was once living. You don’t know whether or not it was something Lucien had planned, if it was a spur of the moment, if he even was aware he was doing it or the Eyes of Nine reaching out to you but you’d seen the visions, you started waking up being faced with the horrors to a red eye marked on your skin, and another, and another.

And the more you were shown, the clearer it became. You could not be part of this. You’d not resign yourself to this fate and watch the others fall for the whims of one man and his own stupid greed, watch the man you loved fall to his own selfish hunger for power. You’d spare yourself the heartbreak of having your lover be torn away from you yet again. So you left. You did what you couldn’t do before; said your goodbyes and left. If this is truly what Lucien wanted then you would not stand in his way. You’d not be an obstacle but you’d also not be watching from the sidelines waiting for a side to win. You’d not interfere because after all this is the man you’d sacrifice the world for but you’d not stand by and watch him sacrifice you for his own visions. Should he find his way back to you you’d embrace him with open arms. Should he not, you’ll have departed on your own terms and made peace with that. You’d have said your goodbyes.

So when that final thread snapped, the eyes disappeared and a quietness hit you, like all sound had been pulled from the world but the wind and the waves you knew it was over. Lucien was dead and gone and Lucien would not be returning this time around. The world was spared and had gone back into tune. The Mighty Nein had returned and truly became the unsung heroes of Exandria. They did what you could never. They’d risked it all for the people they loved and they succeeded. And while your heart warmed at the thought of that love you also felt an emptiness, an emptiness you’d experienced once before when Lucien was first taken from you.

—————

Even now, that feeling of emptiness, a part of you missing still lingered. It’s as if when Lucien finally passed he took a part of you with him and your life would never be as it was before. You still wouldn’t change a thing. You had found purpose not only in your skills but a sense of belonging among the Revelry. Sure they were a rowdy bunch but something about Darktow and it’s people reminded you of the early days of the Tombtakers. Call it sentimental. But you made yourself useful, proved your usefulness, resourcefulness and connections across Wildemount and beyond to benefit you and ended up with a ship of your own, a respected Captain among Darktow with the favour of the Plank King himself. Though the latter is mainly to do with the copious amount of gold you’ve brought him. You and your crew alone have given the man a private fortune that must have made him richer than the kings of the mainland. Not that you cared. Gold did little to fill that void left in your heart. You had no use for it save for the upkeep of your ship, the payment of your crew and the copious amounts of booze and gambling you and your crew partook in simply because you could.

Life in Darktow and as a member of the Revelry is anything but uneventful but that’s exactly what you need to keep you on your toes. The day you resign yourself to a quiet and restful life is the day you die. You’d been in port for a week and a half and things have been going smoothly. Too smoothly in your opinion because if you know anything it is the gods like messing with your threads of fate a little too much. Perhaps your next voyage will be all storms, or you’ll get stranded somewhere? Maybe the Concord will be on the hunt for you again? A naval battle or a few could be fun? What will the gods throw at you next?

Maybe you shouldn’t have tempted the gods like so because the next thing you see is a tiefling of lavender skin, intricate tattoos all over, and a charming grin on his face attempt to barter with one of your deckhands for something. Your stomach drops, shivers running down your spine and conflicting emotions of joy and pain rush through you all at once. Your bosun shakes your shoulder after seeing you so shellshocked and checks in to see if you’re alright. You shake it off and take a minute to breathe studying the interaction with the tiefling.

Right from the get go you know it’s not Lucien. It couldn’t be and wouldn’t be. Yet it’s also not Mollymauk. However brief your knowing him may have been, you knew well enough this was also not the circus man you’d grown to admire. So who is this? Curious by nature and unrestrained, unbound by the knowledge you probably shouldn’t against all better judgement, you step over to the gangplank on the other end of which your deckhand and the tiefling are conversing. You stand there, crossed arms and just watch. Neither seem to notice you as of now but you’re sure they will if you stay long enough.

As Kingsley goes on, trying to convince this deckhand he just needs to speak to the captain for a brief moment because the Plank King has told him he is to deliver an urgent message, all lies of course, he catches the glimpse of someone that seems familiar to him in some way. He hasn’t ever encountered this person standing at the top of the gangplank before. This isn’t a face he’d forget. He’s never one to forget a pretty face and well, this one’s the prettiest of them all. Okay, he may have seen people as pretty before, so he’ll blame it on attraction then because the moment his eyes fall upon this figure the world just fades for an instant, the words of the deckhand falling on deaf ears but he’s good enough to not let it be noticed.

“You wish to see the captain? Well here I am.” Finally you make your way down the gangplank with a walk that expresses authority and grace but there’s something Kingsley can’t quite put his finger on. You turn to the deckhand.

“I’ll deal with this. Back to work.” The deckhand with a nod to you and not so much as a goodbye to him scurries up the gangplank and goes back to whatever task Kingsley had kept him from.

“My my, captain, I must say your ship is magnificent…” The tiefling tries to sweet talk but the expression you give him shows you’re not buying it. That doesn’t mean he’ll stop trying. He’ll just have to up his charm a little. Kingsley wants a ship and this is a great ship. He meant that part.

“Cut the crap and get to the point. I don’t have all day.” You give the man a wink for some reason feeling yourself slip into that back and forth game of wit and charm you’d had with Lucien. Gods be damned for pulling on those strings again, your heartstrings no less. And damn your own weakness for not being able to resist that charming grin of this man.

“Perhaps this is a conversation better had in private?” Kingsley, as promised picks it up a notch and walks up the gangplank like he already owned the ship but gestures for you to lead the way. Deciding to humour him and yourself you lead the way to your cabin, the door falling shut behind you two.

—————

The events that followed were the beginning of the end and the more time you spent with this man, this new version of the face you’d been so familiar with, the more you felt that emptiness begin to fade. At first Kingsley had tried to persuade you to go to the Plank King to give himself the opportunity to get the ship’s papers and convince the crew that you’d done something terrible and face judgement while he’d offer to vouch for the crew to be spared if they accepted him as captain. When that didn’t work he tried to coax you in sharing a drink with him, one he had spiked with a strong sedative so he could leave you at the docks and sail away. When that didn’t work he tried to sleep with you. Maybe a few days or weeks in your company wouldn’t be so bad. Have you seen you? He could spent hours just getting lost in your eyes.

But he didn’t manage to charm his way into your bed either. You’d caught him on all accounts, somehow figured out all his attempts and called them out exactly how he planned them. It’s like you could read his mind, or at the very least calculate his every move before he’d even done so. He isn’t anything if not persistent. He wanted your ship and he’d work for it. What he didn’t expect was the need to literally work for it when you offered him a job as a second mate since the last one had fallen to the jaws of a dragon turtle.

Over the weeks on your ship you’d eased him into fact that you had a very intimate relationship with Lucien and had met Mollymauk. You knew who he used to be, you knew his story up until a certain point. In turn Kingsley filled in the gaps, though even his knowledge felt more like second hand too. While you both tried keeping your distance when it came to the undeniable attraction between the two of you it was difficult. That pull remained, be it from your own memories of the past, the ghosts that still plagued you sometimes, or his phantom visions and feelings from a life he never lived himself.

You had to come to terms with it but the more you got to know Kingsley and the more he got to know you, why should you keep fighting something you both felt? Why put up walls, put in time and effort in something so… so stupid? So you had a good and honest talk. Set some boundaries and drew a line. You’d see where this would take you and won’t put any pressure or expectations on the other but you certainly wouldn’t spent a moment more trying to fight this stupid pull between the two of you. Those days were over.

The threads of fate could be a twisted thing but at times could be so in a humorous way. Kingsley had ended up with the ship he wanted after all. Not be leaving you stranded, poisoning or even killing you. Instead his secret message from the Plank King did come. Though his had been a lie when you first met, this one wasn’t. With the discourse on the high seas, the tensions between Xhorhas and the Empire on the low and the Concord’s opportunity to look towards the Revelry, you were needed as more than just a captain in a fleet. You’d be a commander instead and your captaincy would have to move to someone else so who else could you have handed it to? Both of you had been laughing like idiots when you finalised the deal and signed over the deed of the ship to Kingsley Tealeaf.

Despite this new promotion you’d still find yourself back on your old ship with Kingsley going on adventures of your own. He made a good captain save for the mornings he’d be preoccupied and slacking leaving his first mate to take over his duties. Coincidentally those were the days you’d spend on the ship and of course the captain could not let you sleep among the crew. No, you deserved a place more suitable of your station; the captain’s cabin. Part of that arrangement neglected to mention to the others was that the captain would be sharing his cabin with you.

So you’d wake up in each other’s arms like plenty of times before, fingers brushing through your hair, gently dancing over your shoulder and arm up and down as the light bleeds through the curtains signalling the afternoon’s approach. And as per usual with a groan, you’d shift and readjust yourself into a more comfortable position and allow your sleeping limbs to wake. A kiss would be pressed to your cheek, forehead, crown, shoulder, neck, wherever was most convenient pulling you from the final clutches of sleep and easing you into the day.

These moments would be spent embracing the quiet sounds of the waves rocking the ship gently and the shanties of the working crew, until one of you decided to break that silence.

“You are the most truthful and up front person I’ve come across in a long time.” Kingsley speaks as he presses a kiss to the top of your head as you wrap your arms a little tighter around him. You look up to him with an amused half smile, final hints of exhaustion still remaining on your features.

“I am a liar, a thief and a killer. I live a life of piracy and plague the seas.” You deadpan and earn a ‘you know what I mean’ look from the tiefling as you flick his chin. He catches your hand before you can do it again and instead kisses your knuckles, holding on tightly with an amused grin as you try to retaliate.

“And yet you stand out among the masses like a beacon. I could be faced with the promises of the world and my eye would still fall to you. I don’t pretend to understand why or how but it’s true.” Kingsley might have given the words a bit more flare but they’re true no less. He doesn’t understand why but the two of you, or whatever version of him, seem to be entwined wherever you go always bound to end up meeting over and over again like you can’t escape. It’s not like he minds because the two of you meeting back up in unpredictable spaces and situations has been rather enjoyable. Especially once you’d gotten a moment to yourselves.

“Are you trying to charm me, captain Tealeaf?” You tilt your head slightly giving him the same look you’d done when you first met; innocent disbelief.

“I don’t know. Is it working? Because if so, I will lie and say it’s intentional.” At this comment you sit up, pulling yourself free and leaning on your elbow to allow your lips to meet in a sweet but quickly heated kiss. There’s a knock at the door and you pull away making move to get out of bed but Kingsley holds you there. He’s got no intention of leaving this bed just yet and neither are you if he can persuade you to stay. Let the outside world stay that; outside.

“You’re a good man, Kingsley.” You stroke his cheek tracing along the peacock feathers crawling up his neck and jaw. Kingsley raises an eyebrow but when you see that half grin crawl up his face you know you might just have said the wrong thing. Not bad but more akin to provoking the devil.

“I am a liar, a thief and a killer. I live a life of piracy and plague the seas.” Your own words are turned against you and you scoff. The knocking on the door doesn’t go away and Kingsley rolls his eyes childishly clearly not wanting to be bothered by the whines and responsibilities of the day just yet.

“Yes. Yes. I head the first time.” He shouts annoyed with the interruption and the knocking stops but instead of making any move of getting up he pulls you into his lap. A surprised giggle escapes your lips as playful kisses are peppered all over your shoulders and neck.

“Did you have to deal with their constant antics or could they figuring things out themselves?” Kingsley asks between kisses.

“Always.” You pull yourself out of Kingsley’s grasp and get off the bed reaching for a shirt and pulling it over your head earning a groan of disappointment from the man. You shake your head in amusement.

“I suggest you get dressed before you have a mutiny on your hands for neglecting your crew, Captain Tealeaf.” You put on your pants and sit down on the edge of the bed to slip on your shoes, tying the laces as you go. You feel the tiefling slip up behind you arms wrapping around your waist.

“Is that an order, commander?” Kingsley whispers into your ear. You smile turning your head to face him, waiting to see who will lean in first and close the gap. The knocking on the door returns and you take this moment to gently flick Kingsley’s chin again as you slip from his grasp and step over towards the door. Kingsley grumbles a collective of rather colourful words making you grin.

“It is, captain. Back to work.”

#critical role x reader #critrole x reader #mighty nein x reader #kingsley x reader #critical role #mighty nein

[constantlyunlightening]

Glory

Day 8: Glory Hole w/ Enji Todoroki

Warnings/other kinks: anonymous sex (obvi), creampie, depression, a n g s t

Nobody asked for this. Nobody wanted me to write an angsty glory hole fic for a depressed, touch starved Endeavor but here it is anyway. Man, idk. Anyway, Endeavor is certainly having a redemption arch and is working on healing but I refuse to believe he ain’t depressed with the realization of his own actions. So. Have this.

Disclaimer: 18+ years or older to read. All characters are 20+ years. ALSO, sex work is sort of written as something shameful here but it’s not (just be safe ya’ll) but Enji is a very strict sort of guy and I was working in his voice a bit here. 

What the hell was he doing here? Some hero he was.

Even with the baggy clothes, the mask and the hood dropped over his head, he felt like he stood out like a sore thumb. He was out of place - out of line. He was probably fine. Number one hero or not, under all the extra fabric, he’d be hard to pinpoint without the famous shroud of flames he always coated himself in. But, still, being at a seedy hook up place like this? It was so beneath him. It was so underneath the standards he usually held his pride and himself too. He was the very definition of a hero.

At least he used to think he was. 

Nowadays he wasn’t so sure. He worked hard at his work - painfully and endlessly hard. And regardless if he had rightfully earned the spot or not, he was the top hero. But at what cost? A hero to the public but a villain to his own family.

Maybe a run down, shady place like this was exactly where he belongs.

Enji shifted his weight, feeling like he should back out now. This felt wrong. But his legs were heavy and refused to move. At least not until he heard the soft voice of a women who had slipped into the room, her face hidden by a white mask covering the bottom half of her face. “Your room is ready, sir. Remember, all of our girls are completely clean and anonymous, but if you have an issue with her, you’re more than welcome to ask to change,” she explained her voice a little too cotton candy sweet to be working in such hole in the wall place. Yet, here she was, leading Enji down the dimly lit hallway, the rooms filled with muffled moans and cries that made him question what he was really doing here.

Eventually the attendant brought him to a door at the end of the hallway and gestured for him to open the door as she gave an all too pleasant grin. “It’s all yours. Have fun.”

And with that, she was turning around and walking away as his eyes came to rest on the old silver knob of a door. What pathetic lengths he was stooping to. Maybe there wasn’t anything inherently bad about a place like this, a brothel didn’t necessarily scream heroic. 

Although, he had been questioning what a hero actually was. 

Sure, he saved lives day in and day out but what good was that when you couldn’t protect the ones you care about? When you realized you were the one who ruined the ones you care about?

With Allmight retiring and Enji’s long-consuming determination to best him ending with his hollowed victory, Enji was left with his thoughts more. No longer was he plagued by the desire to be number one, but instead he was haunted by the actions he had done to get there. And the fact that he had only became number one because Allmight had all but fallen was an even bigger kick in the gut. His rise was not one that felt like it was created by glory, but one that was shrouded with misdeeds and an empty win. He was trying to be better. He was trying to not just be the number one hero by title, but in his actions and ideology as well. He was trying to be a better person too. 

No longer consumed with the drive to be the best, he now had the time to think about other things - feel other things than sheer determination. He felt regret. He realized he cared about something more than his work. He realized he cared more than he was used to. He wasn’t used to feeling so much. He wasn’t prepared to deal with the emotions he carried for his family- his kids - now that he could see them for more than just their power. He wasn’t prepared for the emotional weight of his damage to come crashing down on him.

If none of his children ever talked to him again, he was prepared to let them live on without him. He would face up to the consequences. But now with all that time to think, the mental toll was too much to bare. Regret, anger, depression, loneliness. He was dragged into the depths of it all, even as he kept the poker face facade as he went about his hero work. 

He missed real human connection. He craved it.

But he had decided he didn’t actually deserve it. 

That’s where this place came in. It was a physical reprieve at least. Here he could at least gain that human contact without the risk of creating another emotional burden on anyone else. It would serve as a stress relief as well as a point of contact in an attempt to regain a bit of the humanity in him - he felt like it had faded all to much. 

He had steeled himself to work through it. But even the strongest man in the world had to bare with moments of weakness. 

He would wake up with a sense of regret, he was certain, but for a brief moment, he would find temporary solace between the legs of a women he never met and would never meet.

So he opened the door revealing you.

Well, half of you anyway. You were halfway up the wall - hips and below only. You were pushed partly through a glory hole in the wall, your legs suspended by your ankles straight against the wall. You were a mounted animal - captured by a hunt and put on display. He almost felt bad for you. Did your legs hurt being in that position? Did you even want to be here? He was assured that all the women here were here of their own volition but he had a nagging sense of guilt lingered within his gut. 

It was his chance to leave but… despite his guilt, a more selfish instinct overcame him. If it wasn’t him it would just be somebody else anyway.

So he walked in and shut the door behind him.

If you heard his heavy footsteps into the room, he couldn’t tell by the parts of you that were showing. He made his way up until he was right before your presentation and hesitantly, a large hand traced over the inside of a suspended leg. Maybe his brain was telling him this was wrong, but the second he felt how soft you were under his calloused hands, he knew he had lost the willpower to leave. 

When was the last time he had even touched something so soft? An emotion he couldn’t quite place bubbled up inside of him. His heart panged and he felt like he was about to cry. Utterly ridiculous. But it was true all the same.

“Pretty,” a whisper escaped him, one he didn’t think you’d be able to hear through the walls, but your leg seemed to twitch under his touch all the same. He would have wondered what you were thinking about but he was too preoccupied with the urge to let his lips follow the path of his hand, starting at your calf with gentle kisses, relishing in the warmth radiating from you. His kisses moved lower, lower, and he felt like he could get lost in the physical feel of it. It felt insanely intimate but he knew it was an illusion brought on through the loneliness that had pitted into his stomach. Attachment grown from desperation. He was paying you. He didn’t know your name or who you were. He couldn’t even see you face. This wasn’t the time to be feeling intimate, this wasn’t the time to be feeling anything other than base urges. 

He came to this exact place to keep himself separated - detached. Your plush skin may be sucking him in but he refused to forget himself. No matter what thoughts he had during the act.

He resteeled himself. Fuck, don’t feel. And with that, he was pulling his lips off and instead focused on drawing himself from his pants, wrapping his hand around the base of his erection. Apparently those simple touches and the sight of you splayed before him was enough to get his body craving more. And he acted on it.

The brothel you worked for already had you well lubed up for him - it was something about letting the customer get right down to buisness….. 

However, when Enji finished prepping himself, he still heard the shocked yelp of a sound you produced from behind the wall as he pushed himself into you. The number one hero had the accommodations to match his size in any case, and he could tell you were feeling it, even without seeing your face. Your body clamped down on the intrusion so tightly he could have came on the spot. He couldn’t remember how this felt either. It was mind-numbingly good. It was good he couldn’t see your face because in his desperation and newly found emotions, he may have fallen for you on the spot. 

Fuck, don’t feel. Fuck, don’t feel.

He wasn’t here to feed his emptiness. He was here to blow off steam. He needed to start acting like it or this whole endeavor would be pointless. It wasn’t mercy that kept him still inside you - he wasn’t letting you adjust. No, he was simply committing himself to a decision.

Fuck, don’t feel.

He felt you startle under the grip that wrapped around your calves, but he didn’t have time to give it much thought as he proceeded to wreck your insides. The feather soft kisses he had placed on your legs didn’t feel like they were from the same person who was now pounding into you like an animal, rattling the wall as your cries pierced through any sort of barriers between the two. He relished in each and every tremor you produced around his length as he sank himself into your velvety walls. So warm. He was the flame hero but you were the one burning him up as his hands bruised around your legs.

He ignored the way the voice screaming out made him want to see you even more. He could burn this wall down in a flash - finally have his moment of connection - but he forced himself to settle for pretending the cries you gave out were his name. No longer a scramble of whines and whimpers as he rutted into the wet body before him, but in his mind they were a chant of “Enji”.

The loneliness was going to drive him insane but for now he embraced the fantasy as his forehead pressed against the wall, taking in your echos as best as he could.

He was growling, straining his voice to not make a sound lest you recognize his voice. But he had to make some sort of noise. The way you wrapped around him was sinfully divine and his nerves were ignited with lust.

He was a more than a little twisted right now, but he was determined to leave a mark on you. He would never have to know what a monster he was, but he could still drive his imprint into you as if he were someone worth letting his impression linger. 

Maybe he could make you feel a fraction of the stars he was feeling with your warmth. He could forget about his sins and focus on you, and the way you trembled and the way your voice peaked from behind the wall with a muffled - “more!” He would oblige. You could have asked the world of him and in this very moment, he may just try to fulfill it. More, he could do. More is what you got. 

His hands danced lower, finally gripping at the center of open thighs as he hammered somehow faster still. The hero work, if anything, at least gave him a surpless of strength and stamina. The room appeared to be vibrating with the way the thin walls shook. And each time you seemed to tighten or squeeze around him, it just spurred him on, throwing his own senses into carnal lust. The sensation became to much for the woman in the wall to handle and Enji shuddered as he felt your orgasm strangle his cock and he couldn’t stop himself from forcing himself in deeper anyway until his balls were flush against your ass. He unloaded right into the heat he was holding tight against, letting you milk all he had to offer. Another point of connection, fluids mixing together and he felt a gross sense of satisfaction as he listened to the way you whimpered, felt your walls flutter against him in the afterwards.

He wasn’t here to make connections, but with the urge to hold close the woman he had shared his first contact with in how long- the urge to burn down this whole wall was even stronger now. He was going to have to leave to stop himself from making yet another mistake.

#enji todoroki #endeavor #bnha smut #bnha angst #kinktober #enji x reader