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nekokoaa · 3 years

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After School Part II - Bakugo x Reader x Midoriya (18+)

Summary:

He was prepared for the insults, the hate, when all he was doing was discovering himself, just finding out the answers to his buried emotions. He knew this wouldn’t be healthy for his feelings, remembering those tears that rolled down his face when he watched you two declared your love for each other, the hurt that has been living with him ever since then. Would he really damage himself like that? Just to see Bakugo that way one more time?

Warnings: Explicit, angst, voyeurism, blowjobs, rough sex, sex toys, begging, threesome kind of

Part of the NSFW series Euphoria - Euphoria Masterlist

Also on AO3

Part one - After School (Recommended)

AC: Hey guys! Excited for this one. I recommend you read the first part before this one. It’s in the link above. Enjoy!

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After School part II – Bakugo x Midoriya x Reader (Sequel to After School)

Midoriya felt disgusted with himself yet he couldn’t stop his hand from rubbing up and down his hardened dick. He buried the side of his head against his pillow, gathering the white fabric into his mouth to muffle the moans he couldn’t contain. His eyes were tightly shut to avoid having to lock eyes with his posters of All Might. He didn’t need to feel anymore shameful than he already did. Being surrounded by images of his idol, them smiling proudly at him, it only made him feel guilty about his actions. Why am I doing this, he found himself asking just as he increased his pace, a certain blond teenager entering his imagination shortly. He let another moan get suppressed into the pillow, followed by gasps caused by the pleasure rising within his stomach.

It’s only been a week since Midoriya witnessed you getting fucked in the classroom by Bakugo and it was still fresh in his mind like he was rewatching a scene from a movie. He could remember every detail from your pleading moans, Bakugo’s groans to the sounds of slapping flesh and of course, those crimson eyes that bore into his own while he fucked you. Midoriya whined, fisting the sheets with his free hand as he felt his eyes tearing, pleasure and agony intertwining like brothers. It rose until he saw sparks in his vision, higher it went until all was white.

“Kac… chan…!” His hips stuttered, and then he felt wetness on his stomach and parts of his hand. He released the pillow from his clenched teeth, heavy pants rolled out of him as his lungs begged for air. He shielded his eyes with his cleaned hand soon becoming soiled with tears that rolled down his face. He didn’t know what to do. He felt as if he was too far gone in his feelings that he couldn’t just ignore how he felt towards Bakugo, but it hurt knowing that there was nothing he could do about it. The only thing he could do was lie in the dark in his room with his hand on his cock, soiled with his own cum, and his mind filled with Bakugo knowing he would never love him back.

Midoriya expected his day to start out the same as always. Even though he stumbled upon you and Bakugo a week ago, he was still able to maintain his normal school schedule. As well as Bakugo who carried on like that incident never happened but… today was different.

Midoriya caught you staring at him longer than he would’ve like and when he would meet your gaze, you would pretend that you weren’t staring at him but would make it obvious by the flush on your cheeks and the twiddling of your thumbs. There was even a moment in the cafeteria where you were sitting with Bakugo and you were both eying him and whispering to each other.

At that point, Midoriya panicked. Did you find out? Did Bakugo tell you? He was going to find a hole and bury himself alive if you found out.

What Midoriya didn’t expect was for him to be approached by Bakugo after school and with you standing behind him all shy and whatnot. He hadn’t expected to be cornered and pulled under one of the stairways, thrown against the wall with Bakugo’s hand slapped on the wall beside his head. Midoriya gulped, but also felt his pants getting tighter.

“Listen well, Deku,” he growled.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t—I didn’t—I won’t tell anyone about it…!”

“Shut it!” He lifted his hand off the wall and slammed it back down. Midoriya jumped, his eyes flickering between you and Bakugo. He didn’t realize he was giving you a pleading look, although fear might’ve best described it. It made you hold Bakugo’s other arm and you gave him a smile before looking at Midoriya with flushed cheeks.

“We’re not here to scare him, Katsuki.”

Bakugo scoffed, frowning as he shoved both of his hands in his pockets.

“Katsuki told me you saw us…” oh fuck, he was screwed. He was undeniably screwed. You had found out and now he was going to become the laughing stock of UA. The one who jerked off and came in his own pants to his childhood friend fucking his girlfriend. He could see the headlines in the papers. Rumors would spread, and no agency would want to sponsor him. He would be ruined. “And we were wondering…”

Midoriya shut his eyes and prepared for the worse.

“If you would want to… watch us again?”

Huh? Midoriya’s eyes shot open. Did he hear correctly? Your shyness returned again, and you were now burying your head in Bakugo’s arm. Midoriya ignored the pang of jealousy he felt. You spoke up again, cheeks flushed and eyes everywhere except at Midoriya.

“It was… exhilarating having someone watch us. I was a bit freaked out when I found out but…” you bit your bottom lip. “Lately, I’ve been having the best orgasms imagining someone watching us so…”

“Don’t get any bright ideas, this was all her plan,” Bakugo grumbled. “And all you’ll be doing is watching!”

“So, what do you think? Do you want to watch us… tonight? Katsuki’s parents are away.”

Midoriya was shocked, mouth agape, eyes so wide that they look like they were about to fall out. He thought you were here to ridicule him, yell at him for eying your boyfriend and somehow knowing that he was masturbating to your boyfriend every night. He was prepared for the insults, the hate, when all he was doing was discovering himself, just finding out the answers to his buried emotions. He knew this wouldn’t be healthy for his feelings, remembering those tears that rolled down his face when he watched you two declared your love for each other, the hurt that has been living with him ever since then. Would he really damage himself like that? Just to see Bakugo that way one more time?

“I-I’ll do it,” Midoriya spoke under his shaky breath, his eyes shooting straight in your direction when you jumped for joy. He hesitated to look at Bakugo, but something made him anyway and he soon regretted it. The disgust in his eyes were apparent, probably because Midoriya had agreed to watch him again. He sneered at the thought of it.

Perhaps Midoriya should’ve said no. So that he could’ve avoided sitting leaned back in Bakugo’s chair in his room, legs spread and a hand palming the bulge of his pants as he watched a nude Bakugo suck on your nipples. He squeezed both of your breasts in his hands, his tongue heavy on your nipples as they grew swollen like ripe fruits under the sun.

Midoriya bit his lip to hold back a soft moan. He continued to rub his bulge, his green eyes fixed on Bakugo’s back, arms, hands, all muscled and leveled like mountains. Bakugo was already in Midoriya’s head, sometimes staring at your face until it would change into his own. Imagining how it would be like if he were under Bakugo, getting his nipples sucked.

He saw that you had glanced at him and your face flushed deeply as you turned your face to the other side.

“What are you being all shy for?” Bakugo teased, knowing damn well that it was Midoriya’s presence making you like that.

“It’s just… you know,” your eyes fluttered between him and Midoriya. “A bit embarrassing but I’m happy. Thank you, Katsuki.”

It unsettled Midoriya when Bakugo smiled down at you, his words being next. “Anything for you, babe.”

Bakugo resumed licking and sucking on your nipples before traveling north to your collarbones and neck and then your lips. Midoriya was still stuck on what Bakugo said earlier. His words were almost like he was doing this all for you. Midoriya shouldn’t have expected anything but it hurt to know Bakugo’s true intentions. Bakugo wasn’t enjoying his presence. You were.

Regardless, Midoriya continued to watch because he was going to sink in as much as he could in his memory, from Bakugo’s face all the way down to his ass.

Midoriya slowly unbuttoned his pants and pulled down his zipper and slightly slid off his pants and boxers, his dick flinging up, already hard with precum leaking from its tip. You two weren’t even fucking and he was already this hard. He stroked around the head first, smearing the precum around it before he began slowly moving his hand up and down his shaft.

“Nnaah…!” He then jerked his head up when he heard a squeal from you and saw that Bakugo was fingering you, using one of his hands to keep him propped above your body while he had the fingers of his other hand deep in your cunt, pumping three digits in and out of you. Midoriya could hear the sound of your wetness squelching and swishing against the speed of his probing fingers. Each thrust had you trembling, gasping, your legs lifting in the air and widening. Bakugo was smirking, watching in pride as his fingers wrecked your abused hole.

Midoriya whined lowly, jerking his hips into his hand but not too harshly to where you two would take notice of him touching himself. Even though you told him it was okay to do so, he still found it embarrassing to be in this position. He wanted to be invisible despite you and Bakugo knowing he was there.

“Aah—Kat—Katsu—A-Aaah…!” Midoriya assumed you came because he saw your eyes rolling back and your entire body shuddering to the waves that traveled throughout your pelvis. Bakugo continued pumping his fingers even a little bit after your orgasm but he soon pulled them out and you opened your mouth when he brought his fingers coated in your slick close to your lips. You accepted them with a hum, your own flavor spreading amongst your taste buds as your tongue curled around his digits. He was pumping them softly in your mouth and Midoriya couldn’t help but imagine himself in your position although with his mouth full of Bakugo’s cock.

At this point, Midoriya didn’t care that he completely replaced you with himself in his mind. He was already delirious with pleasure that none of what he was doing seemed wrong anymore. He had a single goal in his mind and it was to get himself off to Bakugo.

He watched how Bakugo pulled you closer by your hips, a single hand on his cock as he stroked the length with its head pressed softly against the moist folds of your vagina.

“Tell me you want it, baby,” you shivered, feeling the head of his cock push around your entrance teasingly. You whined about the same time as Midoriya.

“You know I want it,” you clawed your thighs and rolled your hips. “Don’t tease me, Katsuki… not in front of him.”

“You know how it is. You want it, you beg for it, even in front of him.”

You bit your lip, glancing at Midoriya who was stroking his length, mouth parted, and freckled cheeks red. You let out a soft moan when you felt Bakugo pushing in, stopping when the tip was fully embedded in you.

“Come on,” he grunted, his nails digging into your hips when he grabbed them. “Tell me all about how much you want me to fuck you.”

You looked into his eyes, pleading, yet you knew all this teasing was making you even wetter. You had no choice but to give in to his demands.

“Please, Katsuki… ahn… I need you to fuck me—I can’t bear it anymore…”

“Yeah…? How bad do you want it?”

“So bad…”

“This bad?” He slammed the rest of his length in you and it made your back arch. He gave you a few more hard thrusts before he suddenly stopped. You whined loudly. Midoriya increased his stroke speed.

“Yes…!” You cried, fisting the sheets around you.

“Yeah?”

“Yes!!”

“Scream it!”

“Yes! Katsuki!” Your voice cracked.

“Louder!!” A slap came to your thigh.

“Yes!!! Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! Fuck me, Katsuuukii…!! Fuck—Yes—uhnnahh—aah—yes!!” The first ‘yes’ you screamed at the top of your lungs was enough to have Bakugo roughly fucking you into his bed and the rest of it was just praise. Midoriya swore his bed was moving with him, rocking back and forth to the speed of his own thrusts. His hips clapped against yours like thunder, making your flesh jiggle to the abuse, something that Midoriya thought looked painful at first but saw that your expression was far from it. You looked delirious, drowning in pleasure, heat, and desire, like every one of his fucks was driving you insane yet you wanted more of it. You craved for it, sang for it, cried for it. Those tears rolling down your cheeks was because of the overwhelming feeling within your core, and how Bakugo’s dick was hitting all the right places every single time and never once losing his rhythm.

Midoriya was moaning right with you, not even trying to hold them back anymore but he kept his moans of Bakugo’s name under his breath. He imagined Bakugo thrusting into him in that same speed, and although he has no clue how it would feel, he imagined it would feel just like what he’s feeling now, pleasure.

You squealed when Bakugo scooped you up in his arms and changed positions. He sat down at the edge of the bed and positioned you on his hips with his dick still fully sunken in. Your back was facing Midoriya and your body covered most of Bakugo but if Bakugo were to rest his head on your shoulder, Midoriya would see his face. And that’s exactly what he did.

Midoriya gulped when he saw those red eyes on him. Finally, after all this time, Bakugo acknowledged Midoriya’s presence and he hasn’t since he glared at him after Midoriya said yes to this entire affair. He was kissing you on your shoulder, very light kisses as if any harder would’ve break you into pieces yet the contrast of how rough you were slamming your hips on him proved that you were no fragile being.

Midoriya couldn’t read the look in Bakugo’s eyes, nor did he want to in fears that all it would be was a cruel taunt again. He was just happy that Bakugo was looking at him, just the simple fact that his mind was off you and on him, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. Midoriya looked into his eyes while touching himself, pretending he could see some softness in them. He felt himself getting closer to the edge, gasping, moaning, jerking his hips forward. You had just moaned Bakugo’s name and he could’ve sworn he was the one who had said it.

In his eyes, he was the one on top of Bakugo, grinding on him, feeling his dick pulsing within him as he looked into his crimson eyes and would see the lust in them. Yes. That was probably the look that he wanted to see in Bakugo’s eyes. A look that said he wanted him.

“Aa… Aaah… Katsu…”

As soon as Bakugo’s eyes returned to you, Midoriya felt sorrow. He watched as Bakugo kissed you, his eyes brightened as he gazed into your face. “Fuck, you’re beautiful…”

You smiled lightly when he said that, replying with your moans and more aggressive hip slamming. You were feeling the pleasure rise like heat bottled up in a container ready to be unleash and every fuck was landing you closer and closer until you felt something snap within you, and that pleasure came out in waves upon waves, trembling your body from within until it traveled out into your arms, legs, and hips. It was as if, to Midoriya, you became possessed by something and he had no doubt in his mind that he would be seeing the whites of your eyes if you were facing him.

“That’s my girl… sexy…” he spoke with husk, rich in lust that sent even more shivers down your spine. He looked in your eyes all cloyingly, it had Midoriya seeing envy, yet that entire moment still made him meet his own pleasurable end, and not because of the display of your orgasm but because Bakugo continued thrusting up into you regardless. Midoriya couldn’t stop the stutter of his hips as his cum shot out of him, landing on parts of his shirt and pants.

What he did not realize was during his orgasm he had mewled out Bakugo’s name. So, when he was done looking at the cum on his shirt, he looked at the two of you and nearly froze. You were both looking at him.

“What you calling my name for, Deku?” Bakugo sneered. Midoriya gulped. He looked at you and saw that your eyes were wide and mouth agape. It was possible that Bakugo didn’t tell you that Midoriya was getting off to him and not you. It would explain why you looked so surprised when you heard him whining out Bakugo’s name and it looked like Bakugo was feigning innocence on that knowledge. He was pretending to find out the same moment as you.

“A-Ah-Ah-I-I…” Midoriya stumbled on his words. He didn’t know what to say.

“So, you were thinking of Katsuki… makes sense,” you and Bakugo gave each other a look that Midoriya had no idea what it meant but he was practically shaking in his disheveled pants. He wanted to leave already. He felt embarrassed enough as it is.

“How about we change the rules, Deku?” Every time Bakugo said his name, he always put so much emphasis on it, like he wanted him to know he was insulting him. He watched as you slowly lifted yourself off of Bakugo, moaning softly before you sat in the empty space next to him and leaned against him. Bakugo’s cock was still standing tall, coating with slick and your discharge. He was smirking as he looked at Midoriya. Clearly, he was planning something. “I’ll make your day. Finish me off.”

“Eh?” Midoriya blinked and watched how Bakugo gestured to his erect penis.

“Suck me off.”

“S-Suck…” Immediately, Midoriya’s face flushed in a bright red. He couldn’t believe what Bakugo was suggesting. He wanted him to give him a blow job?

You suddenly left Bakugo’s side and prance towards Midoriya. It startled him suddenly seeing a nude body in front of him and you grabbed his hand and led him closer to Bakugo with a smile. “You don’t want to?” You asked innocently yet proceeded to loosen his tie and pull it from his neck. His school collared shirt was next and then his pants that fell to his ankles. It was happening so fast for Midoriya that he was still trying to process what Bakugo wanted him to do.

He found himself leaned down in front of Bakugo with you on his right and a penis in his face.

“Have you ever done this?” Midoriya didn’t answer you but looked down and you smiled lightly, chuckling as you gave Bakugo’s penis a small stroke in your hand. “I’ll teach you.”

Midoriya watched as you slowly submerged Bakugo’s dick in your mouth. He could see the outline of it through your cheeks until your lips nearly reached the base, blonde pubic hair so frizzy it tickled your upper lip. He heard a groan from Bakugo and then saw his hand behind your head, caressing and ruffling your hair with his fingers, praising you for how well you were doing. You bobbed your head only a few times before pulling away. A bridge of saliva between your lips and the head was what connected you. Bakugo’s hand on your head moved down to your cheek and his thumb wiped the saliva off, destroying the bridge.

“It’s easy!” You smiled before returning to sit with Bakugo on the bed and hugged his arm.

“Just hurry the fuck up,” Bakugo grumbled and Midoriya gulped, eyeing his erect penis just inches away from his mouth.

What the hell was happening? At first, you and Bakugo wanted him to watch you two have sex but now they wanted him to suck Bakugo’s dick? Midoriya didn’t know whether to feel happy about all the attention Bakugo is giving him or to feel terrible that probably the only reason why he would allow that was because you probably got off of it.

But Midoriya wanted to feel hopeful. Perhaps Bakugo was harboring similar feelings as him but he was afraid to express them. Besides he already came this far.

Midoriya wrapped his scarred fingers around Bakugo’s cock, stroking it before he sunk his mouth on his length. He would never forget the heated salt with a tinge of sweetness upon his tongue. The taste was burned into his mind and he would never forget Bakugo’s flavor. He heard Bakugo hum and he swore he felt the vibrations all the way to the dick in his mouth. It took a few bobs for Midoriya to grow confident and moved his head as fast as he could, nearly gagging when the head would touch the back of his throat.

Bakugo was breathing through his gritted teeth and you watched in awe at the both of them. Already, you felt the wetness between your legs.

“Filthy fucking Deku,” Bakugo moaned and gripped the front of his hair. The entirety of his forehead was shown as he continued to suck on Bakugo’s cock. “Look at you… on your knees, all over my dick,” Bakugo shook Midoriya’s head by the grip of his hair, “didn’t think you’ll ever get to do this, huh? Sucking the dick of the future number one hero. Next… you’ll be having posters of me up in your room, beating your meat to them…”

Now those words had struck a chord in Midoriya. He immediately left his dick but Bakugo still had a hold of his hair. The next pull had Bakugo’s dick pushing against his cheek and smearing his pre-cum and saliva on his freckles. Bakugo found his green eyes on him looking hard and a shaky smirk that said he was afraid but couldn’t bear to hold back his words.

“What are… you talking about? Shouldn’t you be happy, Kacchan…? Future number two hero getting his dick sucked by the future number one? Then you’ll be the one fantasizing about me.”

You laughed a little too loud and Bakugo let out a growl. He pulled on his hair and Midoriya winced, gritting his teeth. Strangely, he was enjoying every second of this.

“You better watch your damn mouth. We all fucking know who’s gonna be number one!” He suddenly stood up and grabbed Midoriya’s head between his hands. “And it’s not gonna be some fucking nerd sucking on my dick!” He pushed his dick against his lips and forced them to separate for the girth and length that raided his mouth at a speed that had Midoriya shrieking.

Bakugo roughly fucked his face without any remorse. Midoriya clawed at his legs, red scratch marks developed around his thighs. He blinked at the tears hanging around the edge of his eyes. They rolled down his cheeks endlessly as he gagged, grunted, and groaned whenever Bakugo’s dick slammed back into his mouth. It was hard to breathe even through his nose and no matter what Bakugo wouldn’t give him a break. Then he roughly thrusted his hips in and stayed there, the tip of his dick pushing against the back of Midoriya’s throat and he started to whine. Any longer and he would empty his stomach.

“Can’t say much when you’re choking!” Bakugo gave a sadistic smile that sent both shivers down your spine and Midoriya’s. He ripped Midoriya off and he fell on his back coughing, saliva running down from his mouth and mixing with the tears on his cheeks. Bakugo climbed on top of him, knees between Midoriya’s head and without any delay, thrusted his dick back in his mouth. At this point, Midoriya was sure he was going to die. He regretted that sassy remark.

Bakugo fucked his mouth hard, using gravity to slam his hips back down when he lifted them up. Midoriya screamed every time he did it, his screams, of course, muffled because his mouth was full. The force so severe that his head would bounce against the floor.

“Diiiiiiiiiiie!!” His hips moved wildly, his breathing became gravelly, grunts loud as if he was a frightening beast. An alarm was going off in Midoriya’s head. Bakugo was going to cum any second now. He was going to cum… and he would have to swallow it all up. Fear flashed in his eyes because of the unknown. He didn’t know what to expect, but he also didn’t have a choice in the matter. It was coming regardless, and he would have to brace for whatever Bakugo was giving him.

He braced for the next few sloppy thrusts until he felt his dick throb against his tongue and he immediately tasted the bitter, sticky cum go down his throat and the last couple of spurts was to his face, all over his forehead, cheeks, and lips.

Bakugo stoked his penis until none came out and a proud smirk was on his face when he looked at Midoriya and saw what he had done to him. Midoriya’s entire face was dirtied with cum and flushed red, his lips and the area around his lips were even more pigmented because of the abuse it went through. He was trying to catch his breath and his eyes were off to the side, consciously avoiding Bakugo in front of him. He was still contemplating if this was real, leaning towards the side of it not being and suddenly waking up in his bed; safe and sound.

“You’re fucking gross, Deku.” He then heard Bakugo’s comment. He was sneering at his penis that stood tall and hard after all that. Honestly, Midoriya wanted to agree with him.

“That was so hot…” you moaned. Midoriya noticed you were touching yourself. “You should fuck him.” Midoriya looked back at Bakugo. Red eyes stared him down. Was he… Was he considering it…? Oh no. Oh no. no. no. Midoriya couldn’t do this. He already went too far down the hole, any deeper and he would get burned by the earth’s core. He had to leave.

Midoriya rolled himself onto his knees, “I-I should—”

“Hey nerd! You’re a virgin, right?” No. no. no. no. no. Midoriya couldn’t do this to himself. If he leaves here after being thoroughly fucked by his childhood friend—his crush, a person he can’t even have and is probably only doing this because of the amusement of his girlfriend, it would absolutely wreck him. Even if it’s his dream, his fantasy, his desire, he had to fight the urge to spread his legs for him. There was nothing to come from this but heartache and disgust all for a few minutes of imagining Bakugo was fucking him because he loved him.

“I’ll take that silence as a yes.”

Midoriya shook his head as he stood up. He hated the fact that he was hard because it made his next words unbelievable.

“I don’t want to.”

Katsuki glared at him. You began to pout.

“Why the fuck not? Weren’t you liking this? You’re saying that, but your dick is saying something else.”

“Doesn’t matter, Kacchan. I don’t want to do this. You guys had your fun. I was just supposed to watch anyway.”

“I thought you liked me—watching me fuck my own girlfriend and screaming my name when you’re cumming. Isn’t this your chance to finally have me?” This wasn’t having him, and he knew that.

“Please, Midoriya. This is the last thing and then you can go home.” Midoriya couldn’t believe you were begging him. He gave you a look of disbelief. You were actually that desperate to see your boyfriend fuck another man, not even caring if said man gets emotionally damage because of it. Midoriya knew he had all the power in this situation.

Which is why he would probably hate himself even more for doing this.

Midoriya marched in front of Bakugo, looking up into his red eyes. He gave a firm, “fine,” and then Bakugo smirked, hands reaching forward to stroke his erect penis but Midoriya stopped him. “But I don’t want you to fuck me. I want you to make love to me.”

Immediately, that smirk dropped and Midoriya continued to speak as he looked away from him. “Make love to me… treat me like a lover… that’s all I want, Kacchan.” His name felt heavy in his mouth. He was practically admitting his feelings for him and it was making him sick to his stomach. He wished it was a different time, a different place, perhaps, even a different universe. Somewhere in a weird timeline where you didn’t exist, and he was with Bakugo. It’s not like he hated you but… he just really wished he was in your position.

Bakugo looked genuinely surprised. His eyes wide and his mouth stayed in that usual “O” shape whenever he was baffled. He looked to you for an answer and you shrugged.

“It’s whatever you want,” you said, before a smile grew on your face.

Bakugo turned back to Midoriya, giving him a small look Midoriya couldn’t read before muttering, “fine.”

And then he found Bakugo’s large hand wrapped around his length. His cheeks grew hot and his first reaction was to step back but Bakugo easily closed the gap by swiftly claiming his lips. A ‘mmhp!’ leaving Midoriya after.

But as quick as he was surprised was as quick as he melted against his body. Midoriya grabbed onto his muscular arm and kissed him back, shutting his eyes, pushing and moving his lips against his as he felt Bakugo stroke his cock. Noses bumping into each other and pressed against each other’s cheeks. Humming at how sweet it felt to finally have his lips. Perhaps he should have never agreed because now it would be hard to live without this.

But gosh, he wanted this for so long. In his dreams, in his imaginative world—he wanted this.

Soon, Midoriya’s feet lifted off the ground, his legs wrapped around Bakugo’s waist and large hands cupped his ass. Bakugo easily carried him to his bed and he laid him down and climbed on top of him, lips still locked, hands roaming over mountains of muscles.

You laid down next to Midoriya for a better view, licking your lips as you looked between Midoriya and Bakugo. You soon reached for the drawer next to the bed and pulled out a bottle and a rectangular box. You left the bottle near Bakugo, but you kept the box close to you.

Bakugo lifted his upper half and Midoriya stared up at him with his forever blush and hazy eyes. His eyes wandered around his chest and shoulders, watching his muscles contract and expand when he reached for the bottle. He couldn’t believe this was happening. It was surreal seeing Bakugo on top of him as he spread his legs for him, how he fit perfectly between them—more perfectly than between yours—he wanted to imagine.

“Kacchan, I… I never did this before,” Midoriya whispered.

Bakugo scoffed, “I know, nerd.” He then opened the bottle and started coating his fingers with lube and tossed the bottle on the bed.

“Widen your legs,” Bakugo told him and he complied. Midoriya was already quite flexible from all the training exercises, squats, and stretches he does. It was nothing too difficult for him physically but emotionally, it was different. There was still something in the back of his mind telling him to run, to call everything off, put on his clothes, and high tail it out of there. But his horniness was strong, and it was telling him to lay there, hold his legs open, and get thoroughly fucked. Gosh, he thought he was smarter than this.

“You’ll love it.” Midoriya heard you say. He wished you would stay quiet.

He then felt something rimming his asshole and soon realized it was Bakugo’s fingers. One digit slipped in and all Midoriya felt was discomfort. You saw it in his eyebrows that knitted together and his hold on the pillow tightened. It felt like Bakugo’s fingers were searching for something, probing in different directions.

“You’re fucking tight,” Bakugo commented breathlessly.

He wondered how he must’ve look to him—Legs spread, cock erect and dripping from the tip, his hole turning red from his probing, lips parted for his uneven breath still red from the abuse it suffered from his cock. He wondered if how he looked was getting Bakugo off. If it was him or the fact that you were stroking his dick—once again, you were getting in the way.

“Mmpm…!” Midoriya bit his lip, suppressing a moan when he felt his insides spread for two more digits. He fisted the sheets under him because of the throbbing pain as Bakugo’s fingers moved in and out of him in a slow, steady pace. It didn’t feel good at all, but strangely he wanted to stay, thinking that any moment now pleasure would spring up.

And it did, around his shaft when Bakugo grasped his length, thumb rubbing at the head, fingers of his other hand still pumping in his hole. It was a whole lot of nothing but at least Bakugo’s hands on his dick felt good.

It wasn’t long until Bakugo’s fingers abandoned his hole and Midoriya watched as he coated his dick with lube.

“Kacchan…” he wasn’t sure why he spoke his name, but it made Bakugo look at him. Surely, by the look in his eyes, it meant that he wanted him, right? Or was it just his carnal instincts begging to find some release that he would accept any hole presented in front of him? He didn’t know. And the pent-up pleasure he felt within him made him not care anymore. His head felt fuzzy from the accumulating heat in his body. He was hot to the touch, and he bet Bakugo could feel it under his fingertips when he grabbed his hips tightly, fingerprints indented his skin.

The first thing he heard was him releasing a gasp and he saw him gritting his teeth. The second thing, he felt something nudging by his hole—something that was a much greater size than his entrance. He questioned if it would fit. A question he’s heard from so many scenarios in porn or accidental eavesdropping that he didn’t quite understand until he had experienced it. Would it fit?

He froze in anticipation. Any doubt that was creeping in the back of his mind was too late to convince him. He was here to see this to the end.

“A-Aah…!” P-Pain! Midoriya slapped his hands over his mouth, alarmed at his voice for reaching such an abnormal height. And he couldn’t muffle the next when Bakugo thrusted his hips forward, his toes curled tightly in the air, eyes blurred with tears from the pain. His mind immediately blanked as all he could focus on was the feeling of Bakugo moving in and out of him—and that stabbing pain, like his insides were being torn from Bakugo’s length and girth.

“Didn’t know you had a voice in you, Deku...” Midoriya heard his growl in his ear when Bakugo moved completely on top of him, his hips shifted up and his dick was being pressed between his and Bakugo’s abs, indirectly stroked every time Bakugo bucked his hips.

“Still fucking tight... even after all those fingers fucking you.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to this, but it was much too late.

He wanted to tell him to slow down but his dick angled in a way that hit his prostrate and an explosion of pleasure overwhelmed the pain, blow after blow had made him lost his mind.

“Aah! Hah… W-Wai..t… Kaccha—ahn!” Fuck, it was good—so so so good. He was clawing at his shoulders, splitting his skin and drawing blood. He heard his butt cheeks singing to his thrusts, a sound that echoed in his ears and heart, and matched with his loose moans and pants—he sounded so unfamiliar, so loud, he was surprised Bakugo wasn’t telling him to shut up.

Maybe he liked it.

He wanted to believe that was the case.

Bakugo’s room was quiet. At least it was to Midoriya. For the first time today, he forgotten your existence. He didn’t notice how you were watching them with hazy eyes or how you were fucking yourself with a dildo. The sounds of your moans were being drowned by the watchful vermillion eyes hovering above him and immense pleasure of his lower half. He couldn’t tear his emerald irises away from the blaring red. A hue he knew all his life.

“Ahn… Please…”

“Heh… you begging me?” Bakugo’s head dip and his lips brushed against his earlobe. His husky voice ran shivers throughout his body.

“Please…”

“Say my name, you know which one.” Bakugo grabbed his chin. “Tell me what you want.”

“Ka—cchan…”

Bakugo growled, and bucked his hips harshly, the deepest moan escaped Midoriya. “Tell me.”

“Kacchan… please… I—I…” Midoriya blushed, “More… I need more…”

That dark chuckle from Bakugo had made Midoriya’s heart flutter and when he began rocking his hips, Midoriya held on to him like his life depended on it. The bed shifted with their moving bodies, squeaking under the weight of two men making love. Moans and groans left their lips, evidence of their pleasure that could not be contained. Midoriya couldn’t believe he was making Bakugo sound this way. He was relieved that he felt good—that he was making Bakugo look as if this was the greatest feeling in the world. He was giving that to him.

Midoriya wrapped his legs around Bakugo, driving Bakugo deeper in his ass, drawing another deep moan from him.

“Kacchan… Kacchan… Ahn… M-More…” He felt Bakugo’s lips on his neck, wet with warm nibbles on his skin, no doubt leaving behind red blemishes. Bakugo was moving freely in and out of him now, the lube making it easier and easier the faster he went.

Midoriya didn’t hide his disappointment when Bakugo suddenly sat up and made his legs unravel around him, but it quickly left when he continuously thrusted into him with one hand on his hip and the other wrapped around his cock. Bakugo was working to get him off. He could tell by how his frequent moans were and the creases between his blond brows that he was almost close. He looked exactly how he looked when he came inside you that day in the classroom. Such a handsome face despite how scrunched up his expression was. He imagined many nights about that look and here he had a front row view, better yet, he was the one causing it.

“Oh… I-I’m cumming…!” Midoriya’s cum was already spurting from his cock before he let out those words. His back arched off the bed and Bakugo’s name spewed from him like it was the one word he knew how to say. Eyes rolling as Bakugo continue to slam into his prostrate. His body spasmed like the earth was quaking under him. The bed’s springs creaked from the force.

“D-Deku…” Bakugo gritted his teeth, his fingertips pressed into his hips until his skin bruised red. His pace was brutal, his grunts aggressively getting louder and louder until finally he spilled his seed in Midoriya.

Midoriya felt himself become full to the brim. It was an entirely new feeling that rushed through his nerves like he was lying upon the sand and a pleasant wave had washed his body and receded. He felt light as if he was floating in the air, yet his limbs felt heavy like he had just finished training. Everything sounded meshed together, a jumble of words and moans from who he could not pin a name to at the moment. He didn’t even realize his eyes were closed until he opened them and saw you and Bakugo beside him, Bakugo pumping a vibrating dildo in your hole and you shuddering in orgasm.

It was at that moment when he felt himself growing cold and the realization of what just happened hit him like a bucket of ice water.

He watched as you two collapsed together, enveloping in each other’s arms. Tired, Bakugo kissed you softly on your lips and he heard you give a small thanks before telling him you loved him.

And Midoriya’s heart sunk when he heard Bakugo say it back. It was like you two were in your own little world, snuggling together with body heat as if Midoriya wasn’t present.

Midoriya knew he made a grave mistake.

All of his logic came back to him once the veil of pleasure was lifted and embarrassment, sadness, guilt, and maybe even a bit of anger came over him. He was a fool to think there was something more to this—he was a fool to even agree to this. What did he expect when he came between two people already in love, there was no more love left to give—especially to him. To Bakugo, Midoriya wasn’t a childhood friend. He was just someone he knew as a child.

And Midoriya could never be that person you are to him.

Midoriya rolled himself off the bed. He felt the throbbing tenderness of his backside. He knew soreness would come to him in the morning. He quickly gathered his clothes from the ground, put them on, and left. Neither you or Bakugo gave him a single glance.

He had never rushed home so fast before. He was home in minutes, rushing up the apartment stairs, unlocking his door and escaping to his room. His concerned mother watched him run to his room and asked him what was wrong. Of course, she received no answer in return. He couldn’t bear to show his face to her right now.

He sat on his bed, surrounded by the images and figurines of his idol, All Might. Every single one of them staring at him like they knew what he just did, judging him just like they did whenever he would masturbate to Bakugo. He felt sick being surrounded by them, the very image of All Might reminding him of the past he shared with the one he loved. A love that he would never obtain.

Midoriya hunched forward, arms wrapped over his stomach. He felt nausea settling in, his bowels growled as they churned, and a dull pain appeared. Midoriya rushed himself to the bathroom and immediately went to the toilet. As soon as he sat, all of Bakugo’s cum that had shot up into him came back out. He felt sick—utterly sick.

“Izuku, are you alright?” His mother lightly tapped on the door. Midoriya gasped, but he knew she wouldn’t come in.

“I… um—yeah,” he felt his throat closing up. He swallowed the pit deep within it, wishing he could swallow the tears building in his eyes. “I think I ate something bad…”

“Oh no, I’ll fix something up to soothe your stomach, okay?”

He heard her walk away. He hoped his voice didn’t sound hoarse from all the moaning and now the crying. He couldn’t shake the tears away as they trickled down to his lap. Regret would’ve been the word to describe how Midoriya was feeling and that was the least emotion he wanted to feel. He knew what he agreed to, but within him, there was a very very small hope that, perhaps, Bakugo did feel what he felt—that there was more between them than childhood friends or heroes-to-be.

But what happened in Bakugo’s house just solidify that it was nothing more than his imagination. To just leave him after taking his virginity and pretend he was no longer in the room made it clear that he was playing with his emotions just for the sake of pleasing his girlfriend. And as much as he wanted to be angry at him, he couldn’t. That anger was directed at himself for falling for it—for feeding into his desires. The smartest thing to do was forget this ever happened and focus on becoming the hero he wanted to be. It was what he knew best, obsessing over heroes not love.

Within his hand, he felt a buzz. It came from his phone that he forgot he brought with him.

There were a few missed texts over the hours. Some from Todoroki, Iida and Ochako. But the one that caught Midoriya’s attention was the recent text from Bakugo. That pit in his throat reappeared and no matter how many times he swallowed, it wouldn’t go away. He started feeling sick again—just as another pile of cum dropped into the toilet—but it was all for a different reason.

lmk if you want to join again

Those words burned into his skull. He squeezed the phone in his hands until it trembled. He couldn’t believe he was hesitating right now. Another chance…

“Fuck…”

He slowly typed his reply and sent it. He heard the toilet bowl make another splash.

----------

Taglist:

@officialvanitype @bakasbitch18 @scftmilki @jelly-bean8383-blog

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha #boku no hero academia #bakugo x reader x midoriya #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakudeku #bakudeku x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction

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queenbeean · 3 years

Text

forbidden / dark!nomad!steve rogers

part three

warnings: this is a dark fic, MINORS DON’T INTERACT; dubcon, prostitution, heavy smut, voyeurism, exhibitionism and more stuff i’ll come back and add

author’s note: this is not edited, if you pls would tell me what you think about it, if people are liking it or if i should stop

fun fact: it took me three more days than i planned to write this part and i’m sorry if it sucks

pairing: dark!nomad!steve rogers x f!reader

taglist: @sweater-daddiesdumbdork ; let me know if anyone wants to be added

Steve grunted in annoyance. He couldn’t quite get you out of his mind. He tried convincing himself that it was only the knowledge that he was taking your virginity. That was it. That had to be it. He let you go get some rest after he and Bucky explored your sensitive spots. He had never been harder than at that point, with your cunt and your sweet nectar and your intoxicating scent so close to him. He had always prided himself in being a patient man. Even after so many fall outs and events that led him to where he was right now, he never experienced something quite like this. Wanting to just get Bucky out of there, spread you on the table like you were his last meal and fuck you until he tired.

Last night he had to settle for showering by himself like he always did although the thought of you on your knees while he washed your hair...

“No.” He hit his table with his fist. Pushing the button on the intercom, he all but growled. “Get Lauren in here. Now.”

“Boss, do you mean Lorraine?” Roman wondered.

“Yeah, whatever. I want her here in two minutes.”

Steve heard Roman swallowed hard. “Uh, yes, Boss, I’ll bring her right away.”

The room was silent again. Only his thoughts running wild with thoughts of you. The way you were so willingly obedient. He had loved every bit of skin he got to touch the night before. The way you were so sensitive in between your soft tits. The way your toes curled whenever he ran his calloused fingers from your belly button to where your clit was nestled, the sides of your outer lips...

“Sir, you requested me?”

Steve looked in front of him, to the door where Lorraine was sporting a mischievous smile. He smirked. He knew Lorraine would always be up for a good fucking session no matter what time of the day it was. She was so thirsty for him but would always try to stay for more. What else could he offer her, he didn’t know. “Close the door and come here.” He got up from the chair and unbuttoned his shirt and pants, then proceeding to take them off, leaving him in the nude. He saw Lorraine taking her gown off and dropping it on the floor. He couldn’t help but compare her body to yours. But he mentally shook his head.

“On the table. Now.” Steve growled and took a condom from his desk drawer. Once he put it on, he walked up to Lorraine and made her lay on the table. “You are always so wet for me.” He marveled at her glistening lips and gushing hole. “Open wide.” Lorraine spread her legs wider and used her fingers to spread her lips.

Steve groaned at the sight and quickly pushed his impressive length in. Both him and Lorraine moaned out loud. “Sir, y-you are so b-big.” The lady in front of him gasped but he was too distracted by the way his cock struggled to penetrate her hole. He could only pray you’d be able to take him.

“How many times have I fucked you and you are still this tight.” Steve grunted and continued his assault on her pussy. He pulled her her closer by her thighs and lifted her up slightly. Lorraine moaned louder and tried to grip his hands, the new angle had his tip reaching that spot deep inside.

“S-sir, p-please.” She shut her eyes and squirmed, her orgasm was coming fast and Steve knew this. He pulled out of her and helped her up. Without much of a word, he took her arm and brought her to the side of his desk. She tried to stand in front of him, chest to chest but Steve wanted to picture your face instead. Besides, he didn’t want to give Lorraine false hope or hope for that matter.

“Leg up.” Steve tapped her left leg and she immediately complied. He used one hand to spread her ass cheeks and the other to push his cock in. The squelching sounds were obscene along with the slapping of skin.

“I’m s-so close, Sir.”

“I know, come on, cum.” Steve grunted as he felt as her walls squeezed him hard. He was so close but he needed something else. With one arm, he hooked her leg on his arm and brought his free hand to rub harsh circles on her clit. The amount of pleasure from that along with her orgasm had her squirting all over. Steve chased his orgasm as the squeezing got more intense but what made him cum hard was the sound of the door opening and innocent eyes widening as they looked at him.

You gasped at the scene in front of you. The Boss has orgasmed once with you but were you able to make him cum like she did? Would he grip your hips as hard and rut into you as deep and hard as he was with her? Adverting your eyes, Roman, who had brought you in, gave you a little push before leaving you inside with the sex-smelling couple.

“Y/N?” Steve heaved as he pulled out of the blonde. “Get upstairs. Wait for me.” Your eyes followed his gesture and you noticed for the first time the stairs that wrapped around the wall to your right. “You can leave now, Lorraine.” You heard the Boss say.

“Oh, yes, Sir.” Her voice sounded disappointed and you caught a glimpse of her. She looked sad as she put on her gown back but when she caught your eye, her lips turned into a smirk. “Good luck doing what I did.” You heard her whisper to you and unknowingly to you, so did Steve.

You continued up, getting more nervous than you already were. Part of you had been excited about the Boss taking your virginity. He was handsome and big everywhere and it was foolish of you to think that way of him. He had a reputation and the only way he paid attention to you was because of your virginity. You couldn’t afford to think he was different with you for something besides that.

But now, after seeing how hard he had cum thanks to Lorraine, you were sure you were going to be a disappointment to him, probably to his business too. And you didn’t know what could be of you if you didn’t please him enough. He might sell you or offer you to the lower class which in this town was known to not have enough to afford so the women sent there were used more often and with less precautions. It had been really good luck that Marina found this place for both of you.

Your thoughts stopped when you reached the second floor and opened the door. Your eyes widened as you took in the dark room. A single bed in the middle, covered with dark colored sheets. Ropes were tied to the four posts. The wall to the right of the entrance was all window. The opposite one and the one opposite the door along with the ceiling were all mirror. On the last wall, your heart started beating faster. All kinds of contraptions, toys, lubes, and whatnot were on there.

Walking to the window, you tried to settle down your heartbeat. You needed this so you needed to stay calm and do whatever he asked of you. He was the key to your survival and you were going to do everything in your power to make your way here.

With that new mindset, you exhaled and waited patiently for the Boss. Should you be worried that he’s taking a long time to get here? You were sure you were in the right place because it was the only door up here.

As you decided to go check again, the door opened and the Boss walked in, freshly showered and only wearing a towel. Water droplets were falling off his locks and into his broad chest while the ones on his abdomen trailed down and disappeared when they touched the low-hung towel. You swallowed hard again.

“I hope you were well rested.” The Boss said, snapping you out of your naughty thoughts.

“Yes, Sir. I did.” You looked down and the hard beating of your heart prevented you from listening to his bare feet stepping close to you.

Suddenly, his naked lower half appeared in your line of vision and your eyes snapped up. “Did you like what you saw?” He asked and you noticed that he was now drying his wet dirty blond hair with the very same towel that had covered his beautiful cock.

“I- Sir, I-”

The Boss took one of your hands and placed it on the middle of his chest. “I don’t want to have to remind you that I expect an answer when I ask you something. Is that clear, doll?” His voice was deep and you clenched your pussy.

“Clear, Sir. I apologize.”

“So?”

You swallowed and scrambled to remember what he had asked you. “Y-yes, Sir. You have a beautiful body.”

“It’s all yours today.” The Boss whispered as his hands started playing with the hem of your gown, a little distraction from the sweet smell of in between your legs. “Touch me, Y/N.”

“Yes, Sir.” Your hand moved, trailing down his sculpted torso until you reached the small hairs that surrounded his cock. Then you wrapped your small hand around him, noticing how your fingers wouldn’t meet. And you squeezed him a little.

Steve moaned. “I-I already know you like my cock but what about downstairs? I could tell you were aroused when you saw me fucking Laura.” He started bucking his hips, helping you fuck your fist.

You placed your other hand to help jack his cock off better. “I d-don’t know, Sir.”

“You do know, pretty girl.” Steve moved his hands to the straps of your gown and let them fall off of your shoulders. “Now tell me. I want to know how naughty you are.”

At his words, you started pumping him harder. “I-I,” You swallowed hard and felt the wetness gathering in your outer lips. “I liked the way you f-fucked her. I-I wanted to be in her place b-but you are so... big. What if I can’t fit you, Sir?” As your concerns grew bigger, you guided his cock closer to where you needed him most and you realized you started to slightly hump against nothing.

“Oh, fuck.” Steve groaned and he felt his ball sack tighten at your words. “Your pussy will fit me, doll. I’ll make sure of that.” He stopped you and grabbed your arm, pushing you towards the bed. You whimpered as you struggled to settle on the bed. The Boss was fast to get on top of you and faster than you could realize, he was ripping your gown from the middle, moving it aside so he could stare at your tits. “I have so many plans for your body, doll.”

An estrangled moan left your lips when the Boss dove onto your nipples, carefully taking the nub in between his teeth. “That feels so g-good, Sir.”

In response, Steve took your other nipple in between two fingers and toyed with it until he had you gasping. “Do you think your pussy is ready?” He asked in between licks.

Another set of moans broke out as you felt his saliva being brushed around by the thick hairs of his beard. “Yes, Sir, please touch me.” Your thighs tried pressing together but his thick body prevented you from having any sort of friction.

“Are you going to be a good girl and do as I say?” Steve asked as his fingers trailed down your body until his forefinger found your drenched bundle of nerves.

“Y-yes, Sir.” You said in between moans. You gasped as he started gently rubbing your clit, applying enough pressure to have you writhing underneath him.

“Yes, what?” Steve smirked and dragged his finger lower, to where your cunt was gushing and with two fingers, he dipped them enough to have them thickly covered of your juices.

“Oh, Sir, please.” You moaned again when you felt his fingertips swirling around. “I’ll be your... your g-good girl.” You responded when you felt him remove his fingers.

Steve did something he has never done before and it wasn’t spreading your juices all over your lips but kissing you as he did that. And you tasted magnificent. Like nothing he has ever tasted and it drove him even crazier. Your tongue slipped a little into his mouth and it only made you kiss you harder. Almost as if he wanted to bruise you for being so sinful to him.

“Enough foreplay.” He grunted more to himself than to you. “I’m only going to tell you once. I need you to relax, otherwise everything will hurt that much more for you.”

Your eyes widened before you closed them and you started taking deep breaths. “Yes, Sir.”

“Open your eyes, Y/N. I want to see them as I take you.” He whispered in your ear and as soon as you did, he thrusted one finger inside your tight channel.

“Fuck.” You moaned and shut your eyes but quickly opened them for him. His finger was dragging up and down your walls deliciously. It was thicker and longer than yours and...

“Language.”

“Sorry, Sir.” You whispered but your breath caught in your throat when he added a second finger. It wasn’t slow and it was a very big stretch. You put your hand on his shoulder but he distracted you by attacking your lips with a kiss once more. His lips were enough to distract you from the momentary pressure and a slight curving of his fingers had you gasping, giving him the best opportunity to enter his tongue and massage it with yours. Both of you moaned and the incessant pumping of his fingers had you clenching your walls but you needed more. “Sir?”

Steve wanted to do anything you’d ask him as you looked at him with those doe eyes of yours and your breathless voice, all thanks to him. “Yes, princess?” But he never stopped pumping his fingers.

“Can you go faster?” Steve smiled, genuinely and it had been a while. You were such a precious thing and he couldn’t believe how lucky he had been when you were brought to him in a silver platter. Such an innocent being that he thought he’d never have as his actual self... “I’m sorry, Sir. I overstepped-”

“No, doll. You didn’t but your scent is driving me crazy. I think I’ve opened you enough for my cock.” You whimpered when you were left empty as he went for a condom and lube although he smirked at that. With how wet you were, he doubted he’d need lube. But he had to also remember that it was your first time and that he was well packed. He kneeled in between your legs when he came back, then he spread your legs as much as he could without making you uncomfortable. “Remember, doll, relax as much as you can.”

Steve saw you nod as he rolled the condom on. He could smell as your scent got stronger and your heart beat faster and his own heart swelled. For the first time in a while, he felt happy. You wanted him and he never knew he’d want you as much.

Once he saw you more relaxed, he positioned himself at your entrance. The contact of his supersensitive tip to your gushing hole had his abs contracting. He took a deep breath and pushed it in slowly. He winced when he felt you tensing. He looked over at you and felt bad when he saw you shutting your eyes tightly.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” When you did, his demeanor changed. A lone tear left your eye and he cursed at himself. Another first for him, stopping. “I’m going to pull out.”

“No!” You interjected and gripped his waist. “I’m ready, I promise.” This time your eyes were pleading for him to continue. Many things were going through your head. If he didn’t want to take you, what was going to happen to you? Did you not feel good enough for him? “I know I’m not experienced but please let me try to please you, I know I can do it. Please.”

The breaking of your voice made it difficult for Steve but more than that, your scent and the way you looked underneath him. He didn’t know how to be gentle and but he knew that girls like you were easy to break. One rough snap of his hips and he could destroy you and he’s sure he wouldn’t be able to not care about your well being.

“Okay, doll. I’ll play with your clit a little more.” He said and dropped his head to kiss you once more. You placed your hands on his prickly cheeks and returned his kiss with as much passion as you could as you tried to focus on it instead of the pad of his thumb rubbing circles on your bundle.

Once he felt you relax, he started kissing you from your cheek to your jaw and the spot where your neck met your shoulder.

“Oh, shit, S-sir.” You yelped in surprised when you felt his teeth nip at your soft skin.

Steve used the distraction to wet his cock in your juices and enter you again, very slowly. This time it was a tad easier to penetrate your pulsing walls.

“Fuck, doll. You feel so-so good. Fuck, fuck.” Steve moaned loud as he kept pushing in very gently.

“Sir!”

“Call me Steve, Y/N.” He didn’t even realize he told you to call him that but he didn’t regret it one bit as you screamed his name over and over until he reach the deepest spot inside you even though he was only half way in.

“Steve?” You whimpered as your walls struggled to accommodate him. “You are so big.” You gasped in between breath intakes.

“I’m going to move now, doll. You feel so good.” That was the only warning he gave you before he started off slow but after rubbing your clit a little more and getting you wetter, you were slick enough to move more freely. He moved one of your legs over his hips and you moaned loudly, the obscene sounds of your juices squelching had him closing his eyes in pure, unadulterated bliss.

“Steve, more, please Sir.” You begged with tears in your eyes. Your nails were marking his back as if you were marking your territory.

He allowed himself to go faster, his hips thrusting harder and harder until he felt his balls were slapping your back entrance. He grabbed your other leg and hooked it over his arm, the new angle making reach further inside you and he knows you felt it as you tried stopping him but this is what both of you wanted.

“You are squeezing me too much, doll. Are you ready to cum?” Steve groaned as your walls gripped him too hard. If you weren’t so slick, he’s sure your pussy would push you out. But he was relentless and you felt like heaven.

You nodded at his question. The incessant pumping of his cock inside of you was almost too much and you were about to break...

Suddenly, your world was turned upside down. Steve rolled both of you so that now you were straddling him. You let out a very pornographic-like moan and dropped your head back as you felt yourself sinking into his cock, almost entirely.

“Steve!”

Your walls contracted hard enough to induce his orgasm at the same time as you started milking him for all he was worth. Your palms were firmly on his chest as he prolonged your high by moving your hips in circles, making both of you moan uncontrollably.

“Open your eyes, Y/N.”

You tried so hard and finally opened them to be greeted by the most beautiful sight ever. Steve’s reddened and pleasure filled expression would forever be engrained in your mind. He was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen and he had just given you the greatest pleasure of your life.

“Steve?”

“There you go.” Steve praised. “Good girl.” He rolled you both again, being mindful of your weak body while making sure he didn’t slip out of you. He cupped the back of your head and laid you gently on one of the pillows. You were done for the night. He could feel the light aftershocks and the slight squeezing of your walls on his semi hard cock. “I’m going to pull out now.”

“No,” You opened your eyes and gripped his forearm. “Not yet, please.”

Steve nodded. You were right, he’d needed to give you time so pulling out wouldn’t hurt you as much. But what he didn’t know was that you didn’t want to be empty of him. He was a man you’d never have so you wanted to prolong the illusion a little longer. Come tomorrow, you’d be another of his pleasure assets, your Boss but for now, he was just Steve. The man who made you feel alive.

And Steve, as he laid next to you carefully, felt whole for the first time in a long, long time.

#chris evans #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #steve rogers#chris evans x reader #mine #grown up talk

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whats-rambled-rambled · 3 years

Text

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

#long nights #long nights playlist #bts long nights

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amadwomanrambles · 4 years

Text

King - Hux x Reader - Four

A/N: Hello and I am back with another installment. I know, right? TWO INSTALLMENTS IN ONE DAY??? Yea boiiiiiiiiiiiii mainly because I’m home all day today and have been working on writing most of the time. I hope you all enjoyed the steamy previous chapter, because I loved writing it and I do revisit reading it a bit to help me get back in the mood of writing for this series. I didn’t get explicit with the sex scenes for this series because I feel with the time period it would be a bit more romantic and vague than just being raw and whatnot. Just the whole chivalry bit just makes me all warm inside. Enjoy this next chapter!

One - Two - Three - Tagged: @girl-next-door-writes

Ever since that night the King had requested for you more often, which made your husband a little jealous. Ben had wanted to be your husband in every way possible but King Armitage had made it almost impossible for it to happen. It wasn’t his place to deny his King his desires but when his desire was his own wife then it was starting to annoy him. He didn’t want to jeopardize his status in the Privy Council, but he had to do something so that could be able to spend more time with his wife before the King could steal you away again.

Sitting at your vanity you combed your h/l h/c locks as you looked out the window observing the birds that were flying across. You gave a small smile; you felt like you have never been this happy before ever. Being with the King was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You knew him in ways the other members of the court could ever know him. They only believed him to be royal in all things but you knew deepest, darkest parts of him. You knew about how terrible his father was and how he was abused all the way up until his father died.

As you continued to brush your hair, a pair of hands covered your eyes. Setting down the brush, your smile widened. “Who is this?” you said with a small laugh.

“Someone who loves you,”

The hands were removed from your eyes so you could look over and see Ben there smiling over at you. To be honest you didn’t expect it to be your husband, probably because you have spent so much time with Armitage.

Ben leaned in and gave you a soft kiss, and you kissed him back. It felt like months since you kissed your husband, even moreso with the amount of passion he was putting into the kiss. “What has come over you, my love?” you said happily.

“I have a surprise for you, my dear wife. It calls for a day away from court,”

“Did the King approve this?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowed.

“Of course he did, I made sure of it. There’s a beautiful countryside villa I want to take you to so we can have some time alone. I feel we hardly have time alone while here at court,” Ben said with a smile.

You smiled; you trusted that Ben went through the right channels to allow your brief leave. Perhaps Armitage was busy with affairs of state that he didn’t mind you being away for a day. After one more kiss you got up and started packing your trunk for your day excursion.

Once you were both ready you left the castle to get onto the carriage. Unbeknownst to you, Armitage was watching from the window of his bedroom holding a brooch he had planned on giving you that day. His jaw clenched; his seafoam green hues watched as Ben assisted with getting the belongings loaded on the carriage.

Armitage called for his adviser, “Did Lord Solo request for my approval to leave court?” he asked.

“No, your majesty,”

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randomoranges · 4 years

Text

drag meeting au part 8

It turned out that Kate drove one of those modern, sleek electric cars. Étienne was impressed, even though he knew very little about cars and had an even smaller opinion on them. So long as it ran and got him from point a to point b, it was fine, in this opinion.

“Company perk,” Kate had said, a little bit on the defensive, when Étienne had whistled appreciatively at the even nicer and shinier interior. It seemed as though she was waiting for Étienne to make some disparaging comment about the vehicle, but Étienne was genuinely just impressed with the car. In his words, it was very cool. It turned out to be the right thing to say, for Kate laughed and dropped the issue.

The drive to his place went by too quickly, in his opinion. He knew he didn’t live particularly far from the café where they had met before walking to their date, but, Étienne had hoped for more red lights, a construction detour or a missed turn in order to stretch out their time together by a few more minutes.

“Here we are,” Kate said when she finally parked in front of Étienne’s place. They both hovered, as if not wanting to go through the next motions.

“Would you like to come in? I can make tea, or we can have a drink – or, something...” It was strange. Usually, when he invited someone back to his place it was for sex, even if he used the lame pretext of tea or drinks, or something, but this time, Étienne found himself really meaning it. He would be totally content with just sitting with Kate and talking some more. Sitting close to her and listening to her. (If anything else happened, he wouldn’t object.)

“Oh – I’d love to, really, but – I can’t – I’m so sorry – I have an early morning tomorrow – it’s not that I don’t want to – don’t take this the wrong way,” She said and she sounded so genuine and so distraught at the thought that he would think that she was stringing him on, or something of the likes that Étienne took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s alright; there’ll be other times, I’m sure?” He hoped, really. He would hate for this to be the end of this chapter.

Kate nodded vigorously and seemed quite relieved that he wasn’t pressuring her or making a scene, “That would be lovely. I had a really great time tonight, thank you,” She added and this time her smile softened as she cradled his hand with both of hers and Étienne thought he would melt in a giant puddle of goo in her passenger seat.

Her hands were so warm, Étienne found himself thinking, and soft. He was convinced she gave the softest and sweetest of caresses.

“So did I,” He was already looking forward to seeing her again, truth be told, “Are you free next weekend?” He chanced.

Kate thought about it for a moment, “I already have something Friday night and – shit, I’m booked solid on Saturday – wait, lemme check,” She wiggled around in her seat as she fetched her purse and got her phone out. She tapped away at it and most likely checked her calendar, “Damn, I’m really busy next weekend.” The only consolation to that was that she sounded as bummed about it as he felt. “Unless – would you mind doing brunch on Sunday? Say, around eleven?” She looked impossibly hopeful and Étienne really wanted to lean over and kiss her senseless. And softly. And slowly.

“Brunch sounds perfect; I know a great place, if you had nothing else in mind. Have you ever been to L’Avenue?”

Kate laughed, “Of course you know a place, and – I’ve been wanting to go to L’Avenue for ages, so it works out, but, I’m going to pick the spot for the date after that.”

“Sounds good to me.” And he thrilled that she was already thinking about a date after their brunch – that she seemed to want to keep this thing going as much as he did.

Even though Kate had said that she had an early morning, she still made no move to leave and Étienne was perfectly content remaining in the parked car with her. They kept chatting, exchanging stories, and even recommendations of brunch places and whatnot, and before they both realised it, close to another two hours had passed.

“I should really let you go home, thank you again for a lovely evening and for the ride.” Étienne said, as he started moving about, putting his gloves back on and zipping up his coat.

“Can I – I’ll walk you to your door?” She suggested.

Étienne looked at her and blinked, completely surprised by the offer, but also immensely pleased by it as well, “You know, I don’t think anyone’s ever offered to do that before, I would be honoured.”

Kate seemed please by that and so, she walked Étienne to his door, their arms linked together, and to no one’s surprise, they ended up lingering by his door for a moment longer, “Should’ve come in for that cup of tea after all,” She joked.

“Another time, like you said.” He paused and tried to find a way to stretch the moment for just a little longer, never getting enough of the time they had spent together, a glutton for more, wanting to splurge and indulge, “Text me when you get in?”

“Of course, have a nice weekend,” She made to get away, albeit slowly, but Étienne pulled her back by the hand, “You have to let go of me at some point, Étienne, I’m gonna be so tired tomorrow at this rate,” She chided.

“Promise you can leave after this, but I did equally promise you something last week,” He started and stepped closer to her, bridging the distance between them. Kate looked at him, quizzical expression written over her face and Étienne thought it was the prettiest of things, “Promised you a proper kiss, didn’t I?” He murmured and they were standing so close that Étienne could feel the press of her jacket against his – saw the way their breaths misted and condensed – mingled together in a burst of white smoke – as they exhaled.

“I – you did, yes,” She managed to say and even though they were standing on his front porch, under the feeble light, he could still tell that her cheeks had gone pink once more.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked her softly, cupping her cheek with his gloved hand.

“Please,” She answered back and pulled him closer by the waist, until they were connected in every which way.

He grinned as they held each other close. He searched her face for any sign of doubts, but found none. He thought she looked magnificent and radiant, here in his arms, and marvelled at how effortless it all felt. Étienne leaned closer, until their noses brushed against one another and then slowly pressed his lips to hers.

He felt Kate tighten her arms around him, felt the softness of her plush lips against his own and loved the way they fit with his. It was a relatively chaste kiss, all things considered, but infinitively sweeter than the stolen one from the week before and much more promising, if he was to judge by the way they pulled away, smiled softly at each other and then went for another one, (and another – and another and another. He could get addicted to these – already wanted to kiss Kate another time – wondered if when she’d come over to his place they’d end up making out on his couch – looked forward to it already. Looked forward to any time he could spend with her.)

“I really should go now...” Kate whispered, when they finally parted, but she made no move to leave or disentangle herself from his embrace.

“I’ll see you next week, then,” Étienne took her own gloved hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it.

“Charmer,” She teased, “Already looking forward to it.” She added.

“Me too – come on, off with you,” He regretfully let her go and Kate stepped back and slowly walked back to her car. Étienne already missed her warmth and her pretty smile.

“Sweet dreams,” She called back to him as she opened her car door, “I’ll text you.”

“You too,” He called back. He waved at her as she got into his car and waited until it had disappeared into the night before finally stepping into his home. Once inside and his door closed and locked, he leaned against it with the dopiest of smiles on his face.

PREVIOUS: VII CURRENT: VIII NEXT: IX

#pc: montreal #pc: kk the supreme #étienne maisonneuve #kk the magnificent #au #ficlet #3 sentence fic meme thing #drag meeting au #this entire first date was over 4.5k words #how.

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cilliansaccent · 4 years

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Class of Temptation - CHAPTER TWELVE

Leave a like, reblog or comment below to show your support and love! Enjoy…

PLEASE READ:

No mention of Cillian’s true family or relatives. All names are made up.

This is a TEACHER x STUDENT fanfiction, it’s going to be kinky and very taboo!

I will write whenever the mood grabs me, so I apologise if there are long breaks between chapters :)

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Background: Tessa is a twenty-three-year-old model from a broken-up family, living in London with her best friend and starting a course on Drama and Theatre. Though, when she gets closer to the super hot Mr Murphy who is her much older teacher, there is a battle of lust and love between them. They’ll have to figure out what to do with their tight relationship as other issues begin to rise and nip at their heels…

Word Count: 4,410

!!Warnings!!: Lil bit of smut in the beginning...

Chapter Name: He Likes ‘em Naughty

Brief Chapter Outline: Tension begins and Tessa is feeling it hit her hard as she back-tracks into her old, explosive self. But she has a revelation.

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Cillian watched Tessa lay down on the bed, wearing nothing but a silk slip that just came below her ass. Her smile was all but lust and sinful. "What are you doing?" She asked, her voice a low purr.

He came closer to the bed, his head tilted to the side. "Staring at you. Admiring you." He sat down slowly, leaning towards her.

"Oh yeah?" She rolled to her side, her full breasts now pressed together and peaking above the lacy neckline. "I want you to do more than just stare." Her hand ran down her side and to the end of her slip and began to lift it.

Those perfect eyes trailed down as he stared at what she offered to him; a perfect slit with no ounce of hair. His groan was audible as her fingers parted that lovely treasure and were graced by glistening pink petals.

"You tease." He murmured as he moved between her legs now his hands on her knees as he got her to roll her on her back.

"But you love it." She removed her hand and tucked them under her head, "And I can see you want me." She parted her legs wider for him as his hands slid up her thighs.

"Indeed." Cillian bit his bottom lip as he moved on top of her, bring her slip up higher on her body before he pulled it off. He then looked into her eyes and leaned down to kiss her lightly, then her chin and her neck, her collar bones then below her breasts and down he went.

Tessa felt his moist lips press around her before he delved into her treasure. She gasped and arched her back, her hands shot down and gripped his long hair, "Cillian!" Her gasp was soft and tender as she rocked her hips.

"Tessa," His voice was husky, muffled from his mouthful of her.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Tessa." His voice changed a little, bit clearer.

"Don't stop," She gritted her teeth, the pleasure felt amazing.

"Tessa." Now his voice seemed echoed and more demanding and she was quite confused as to why he sounded like that.

"Cillian?" She frowned then felt her world around her shift.

"Tessa!" His voice held annoyance and the scene fell apart and she felt her body be shaken before she sat up with a start.

"Tessa, hello, good morning." Cillian was standing before her desk, his hands braced on the table.

She glanced around, squinting as she realised she was in class. Not in her bedroom and getting head from her- Fuck! She felt her face go red as people snickered and whispered.

"Thank you for finally joining us again. You made quite the noise." He stepped back from her desk and went back to the front of the classroom to resume his teaching.

Holy... Fucking hell. She wiped her mouth, she had drooled all over her books. What fucking noise? Was she snoring? She wasn't sure she snored, no one told her. Julian beside her slipped a tissue and she hastily wiped up, eyes downwards as she could not bring herself to look at any of her classmates. Jesus Christ... She was tired.

Last night was full-on, her producer wanted a specific type of shoot with the right lighting and make-up and whatnot. It was quite hectic and all over the place and she didn't get home till one in the morning.

Tess watched Cillian explain something and took in how he spoke with so much passion for it. His hands moving wildly around as he pointed to a student to answer a question and grinned as he happily explained it. He went to his laptop to bring up a video for them to watch and took a seat and leaned back, crossing his leg over his knee.

As everyone's focus was on the projector screen but her eyes were on the man who was relaxed in his seat. His hands were neatly folded in his lap, those cute glasses perched on a freckled nose... Her mind brought back that dream she had not long ago. His head between her thighs and eating her out, his grip like an iron cuff.

She shifted in her seat to try and ease the ache that had grown. She needed release. Release from him, in any way possible.

Cillian could feel her heated gaze on him and he tried not to meet it. These damn thoughts of Tessa swirled in his brain, he could still feel her body so close to his, her breath tickling his lips as he leaned in to kiss her. These thoughts were no good, he should not be thinking like this about his student. And who was twice as young as he. Though his eyes slowly moved to where she was sitting and he was glad she was watching the video. When she had come into class she looked extremely tired and allowed her to fall asleep, he would catch up with her later today with anything she had missed anyway. But the moment she began to make soft noises as he made his way along the row of desks he knew he had to wake her up. Those were not just any type of noises with the way she moved on her chair.

Tessa returned her gaze back to her teacher and found him now looking at her. She held it unable to tear her eyes away. She could not fathom that he had any sole interest in her other than just to help her out for this semester. But with that move he did to her last night... No way. No, he seriously was just confused and it was all just tense and stressful and he wasn't thinking straight. Someone nudged her and she looked at Julian.

"Why are you sexing up our teacher?" He whispered to her.

"What are you talking about? I am not." She scoffed and folded her arms.

"Uhm, I can see it. You've been ogling him for like the past fifteen minutes and you said his name while you were passed out." Julian murmured.

"What?" She was shocked, "No. I couldn't have."

"I heard you man, and I'm pretty sure Lisa beside you did as well." Julian gave a quick check of Sofia and her crew and could see them wildly texting, most likely to each other.

"The whole fucking class seems to know to." She bit her bottom lip, sinking back into her chair.

"Fuck 'em. Let's hope they won't bother us." Julian said but there was a hint of fear in his voice.

Tessa knew what he was talking about but didn't want to stare at those group of girls. She tried her best to stay focused on what Cillian was teaching.

Class ended and it was time for her to head to her next one. She bid farewell to Julian and before she could run away Cillian approached her. She could see he was hesitant but she smiled anyway.

"Hey." She said as he stopped and watched her.

"How are you?" He asked, smiling and saying good-bye to students who walked by them.

"Tired. But fine." Tess replied, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "You?"

"I'm fine." He nodded.

Sofia waltzed over, she wore a very tight crop top and jeans and smiled provocatively, "Hi, Mr Murphy. I want to give you this a little bit earlier."

He looked at the folder she had in her hands and took it and she had the nerve to push up her breasts. He looked through it, "I'll take a look at it. If there is anything you need to improve I'll make sure to tell you."

"Oh, I am sure you will find no mistakes in my portfolio. I've made sure it is perfect right down to the last detail." She licked her lips reaching out to touch his arm.

He glanced up, trying not to look at her over-inflated breasts, "I will still check it either way. Thank you, Sofia." He said and smoothly brushed her hand off his bicep.

"Great. Will I still see you tomorrow afternoon?" She asked.

Tessa felt her heart go still.

"Yeah. Same time. Same place." Cillian nodded, "See you then."

"I look forward to our private session." She brushed past him and headed out giggling with her friends.

Cillian sighed and once more looked at Tessa who seemed to have gone vacant. "Tess?" He reached out to touch her shoulder.

She stepped back and shook her head, "I best get going, Cillian. I've got a class to attend to."

He frowned as he felt nothing but coldness come from her, "What's wrong? Tess?"

"Nothing. Why would you think anything is wrong?" She stalked to the door but Cillian walked quickly to her side and prevented her from leaving the room.

"Because I can see it. I see it every day that I am with you." He said keeping his eyes on her.

"And? That doesn't mean I have to talk to you about it. What's my issue is my issue to deal with. And don't give me that shit about how you are out here for us. I get that. But I do not want to talk about it." She felt her body warm-up despite what she just heard. He was close to her to the point that it was to close for a teacher near a student. She could reach out and touch him, feel his arms wrap around her and guide her through a dance- She pressed her lips together.

"Tessa, that is not nice to speak like that. Especially to me." Cillian's eyes flashed with hurt as he stepped back and crossed his arms. Those damn muscles sticking out through the tight dark blue shirt he wore.

She shakes her head, trying not to stare, "Sorry. But I gotta go. I really do." She opened the door and hurried out. Her feelings were bouncing around in her brain, making her quite stressed out and hurting. For fucking what? Because Sofia was seeing Cillian too? Did she really think she was that special he would see just her? She pushed open the door to the bathroom and paused when she heard familiar voices.

"Yeah. God, I can't believe he still wants to see me. Our sessions are so fucking hot. The way he moves... I am a hot mess. I love it when he touches me." Sofia drawled.

Tessa only felt worse and she made to turn but her damn phone began to ring. She tried to grab it to shut it off but Sofia came around the wall and smirked.

"Listening in on our conversation?" She laughed as Tessa pushed past her. "Hey, I know you were." She walked after her as Tessa stood in front of the sink, "I wonder. What are your thoughts about Cillian seeing me?" She leaned against the counter, the other girls not too far behind her.

"Uhm, I don't really care? I need help with my work that's about it." Tessa washed her hands, trying to hide her shakiness.

"Oh, of course. Cause you're like, failing the class. Well, I'm not. I just need some extra... Lessons to help out with some things." Sofia looked at her nails, tracing them with her thumb.

"Okay. That's nice to know. Again, I could care less what you do with him." Tessa could not hide the bite in her tone but it already came out.

"Ahh. Is someone jealous? Girls, I think our little play toy is jealous that she isn't the only one who gets to have our hot teacher to herself." Sofia came closer, standing behind her and placed her hands on her shoulders, "You should know that he is a skilled man with his hands and the way he talks..." Sofia shivered, "He is one hell of a god, I must say. Though, I could give you a little bit of advice... He doesn't like his girls to behave well, wants the chase. He loves 'em naughty. But I doubt you'll have the fucking balls to be bad, not like me. You're too... Soft." She jabbed her in the arm with her acrylic, "Too much sympathy especially with that gay prick you hang around with. I guess I can see why Elijah likes you. You're easy to get to, you do whatever anyone says. I mean, you could go tell someone about me and you but would they care? Everyone loves me, all the teachers think I am superb." Sofia stepped away and laughed as she joined her group, "So, stay away from my man. He's mine. Have a good day, Tessa." And she walked out of the bathroom.

Tessa stood there, trembling with anger. Why was she reacting like this? As if she had any fucking chance with that man, and besides she was developing something with Elijah who she had much more of a chance to be with than someone who was twice her age. Shaking her head she left the bathroom to head to her next class. She was being absolutely ridiculous about this whole who Cillian could see. Besides, Sofia was only saying that stupid shit to get a reaction out of Tessa. She knew that for a fact. There was no way... No fucking way Cillian would take any interest in some... Fake bimbo who only saw a botox life ahead. Seriously. No way.

----

It came to the third meeting for this week and Tessa waited in the large drama room space, sitting on the floor and reading a book. She drowned herself in the paranormal romance, reading one hell of a sex scene. She had one hell of a shit conversation with her sister, Mila who was organising a baby shower in two weeks and wanted her to come. Everyone would be there, especially her new friends at her father's company. She said sorry and would send the present up but she would not attend. Mila had not held back with her hurtful words.

She did not notice Cillian who walked in on silent feet and had walked up behind her, peeking over her shoulder.

Cillian read whatever she was reading and was surprised to see it was one raunchy scene and let out a whistle, "Tessa." He said.

She jumped and dropped her book and scrambled forward and on to her side as she stared up at him, "Cillian! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Checking out what got you so interested. You haven't heard me walk in." He mused as he stepped back to give her some space, she looked as if she might tackle and beat him.

"Well, that- that doesn't mean you have to read what I was reading!" She was beet red as she grabbed her book and tucked it into her bag.

"Sorry. Whenever I see someone read I have a habit of checking it out. What is it?" He asked as he began to pull out his folder in preparation.

"Uhm... It's a vampire series. J.R. Ward is the author, she's written a lengthy series called the Blackdagger Brotherhood. I like it, it's a good take on Vampires." She said as she stood up, she didn't really want to discuss anything about what she read really, but she found it so easy to tell him anyway.

"Interesting. Never really read those types of books." Cillian smiled easily, "Ready to start?"

She nodded. She wanted this over with and see Elijah tonight and try to rid the damn thoughts of Cillian.

They went through the rest of the topics and she was finally up to speed from last week and she was glad there weren't many things that require to be close to him.

"So, how are you finding this week? Got five weeks to go till its showtime." He had sat down in a chair, she was sitting in front of him. He watched her body language, she was tense all over and tried not to look at him for too long. He knew why.

"It's alright, busy as always, finishing up my reports and essays for my other classes." She replied, continuously staring at the clock.

"Yeah? How's that coming along?" He continued, he wanted to talk to her about yesterday and to see how she was feeling today. But he had no idea how to come across it, he was worried he might say something and she would find anything he did uncomfortable or disgusted about him.

"Good. Almost done, just gotta proofread it." She nodded meeting his gaze for a short moment before looking away. All she could think of was yesterday and the dance they shared, and the almost kiss. God she would kill to have that moment again... Oh, god here she went again. She rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me?" Cillian asked confused as to her reaction from his question he just asked.

"Sorry? I didn't hear what you said. Sorry." She frowned and her leg began to shake.

"I asked how are you coming along with the report I gave you earlier in the term? It is due in a few days." He looked at her leg and she was breaking before him.

"Uh... Yeah. Almost done that too." No, she hadn't. She was only halfway through it, neglected it a few weeks ago.

"Are you sure? I can offer you help-"

"I don't need it." She cut him off very quickly and uncrossed her leg, "I should go home and work on it further so I may have it done by the due date." She stood up and he did as well.

"Tessa-" He rubbed his forehead before he dragged his fingers through his hair.

Her sigh was loud and frustrated, "Do not start. I really don't need a lecture on it." She gave him a look and turned on her heel, flicking her long black hair over her shoulder and sauntered over to grab her bag. She had a sway to her hips, exactly how a model would walk down the catwalk.

Cillian couldn't help but stare but flushed, "Well, let's talk about something else then." He came over.

"Yeah? How you forgot to mention to me you're seeing that bitch Sofia?" She couldn't stop the words and it came out before she could bite her tongue back.

"What?" He was gobsmacked.

"Fuck." She turned away and slung her bag onto her back, "Forget what I said. I seriously do not care." Her anger was rising up fast and she was going to lose it.

"No, talk to me. I do not want to end this day on a bad note. What about Sofia? I am simply helping her out with some of her studies much like I am doing with you." He explained finding it super odd that Tessa would get so mad about this.

Tessa could imagine what he was doing to her. And she felt her eyes sting with tears.

He loves 'em naughty.

She sucked in a breath, reining back her tears and pulling her fucking self together.

His hands rested on her shoulders and she didn't wince or pull away, she had gone still. "Tess." He murmured, "Is this about yesterday?" He finally asked, wondering if her absurd reaction was about that. Did she think that there was something...?

Tessa felt her mind calm as she shoved her emotions deep into her chest, locking it up before she dragged her empty stare into his eyes. His look crushed her, "Yesterday was simply a mistake, Cillian. I do not want that to come between us. Ever. As I said, let's just forget about it. Just a silly mistake, okay?" She placed her hands on his bare forearms, giving him a smile. She oddly liked the feeling of his tight muscle in them.

The touch made him tingle as she squeezed his forearms, "Are you sure?" His brows knitted together.

"I am." She sighed, "I'm sorry for acting out like that. Just a little stressed but I can handle it. I will not do it again." She reached up and touched his clean-shaven cheek, her fingers lightly pressed to his jaw.

Now that... That feeling made him lean into it a little, "Alright... I believe you." He felt saddened when she stepped away.

"You have a good afternoon." She said to him as she ran her fingers through her hair slowly and slightly bit her bottom lip.

"You... Uh, you too." He nodded and watched her walk away. This time she really swayed her hips and his eyes stayed on her till she was gone. Thoughts of sinful desire swirled through him and he wondered if she was doing this deliberately. Sofia tried her best but she was simply a thing for him to get off to when they had their... Sessions. He only thought of Tessa in the various positions he took Sofia in his very own office. Or in the classroom. But he wondered, did Tessa know? Was it that why she reacted how she did not long ago? He didn't think Sofia would be that stupid to let the little secret out. He would have to talk to her tomorrow maybe.

----

Tessa headed home to drop off her shit and pull on something sexier for Elijah. Mila had called once more and left voice messages which Tessa didn't bother to listen to and simply deleted them. She was now working on whatever reserve she had left in her very soul and it always came to her when she was worked overtime and to the point of mentally breaking.

It was a thing she had to learn very quickly when she lived with Grace and her father. She had to learn how to shut the shit out and not feel a thing and let whatever happen, happen while faking it till she could get out. Even after she had left and got a new agency, the shit she still had to deal with was the same. Long hours, short fast meals, flying to countries, listening to producers yell and scream at you, pop a pill occasionally to aid with the pain that you'd get from the to tight costumes or the ankle-breaking heels.

And now those same feelings and the familiar chest with chains came back to her and she was piling all her fucking emotions into it. She would lock it away, put on a smile and power on. It was totally not good as she had lashed out sometimes in the earlier years of her working with her agency but had a wake-up call from Esther who pulled her through it all.

Tessa was stepping back into that dark world but she would remember to not let her emotions get out. She would find a way to soothe that shit down on her own as always. Little steps that required delicate care. And that was Elijah who had come to like her so much, he always made her feel lighter and make her forget about her messed up life. She found herself smiling as she took a cab to his place. Maybe Elijah was the key to helping her sort her shit out, much like Esther did but nowadays they barely got to see each other from their different working schedules.

With a start as she walked up to the apartment Elijah lived in, she had a thought. Esther had copped the brunt of Tessa's shit in one blow in one night. Small steps, delicate care, do not rush it, let it out bit by bit, a small voice in her head told her. She glanced down at her trembling hands. The shakes began a week ago but seemed to stop when she was with Elijah. Or Cillian.

No. Only Elijah she would agree on.

But back to her revelation, Tessa had a wild thought. Why not...

"You want to talk?" Elijah asked when he had brought Tessa into his room and sat with her on the bed.

"Yeah. Talk. You know, between us." She waved a hand between them.

"I know that but... About what?" He wondered as he held her hands between them.

"My actions lately. Me being so abrupt and all... That." She couldn't meet his eyes as she glanced to the side.

"Ah... Yeah. I've been wondering about that." His voice softened, "You know I truly care for you, yeah?" He cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing her cheekbone.

"I know. If you didn't you wouldn't stick around for this long." She smiled a little.

"Maybe. But who knows. Know this you are secret safe with me. Nothing will escape this room nor through me." He kissed her knuckles and she cupped his face this time.

"Thank you, Elijah. I just want to say first thing first, I am sorry for how I acted yesterday. Studying is getting to me and with my modelling shit, it's like... All over the place. Gotta juggle it all." She murmured. But it wasn't the only thing that got to her.

Elijah nodded, "Understandable. I forgive you, even though I already did ages ago. But... Yeah. Got scared, that's all."

She looked over at the radio that played softly, "There is more to it but... I am not... Sure if I can tell you. I'm..." Scared. Worried you might judge me.

"Hey," he brought her gaze back to him, "You got nothing to worry about, Tessie." The nickname made her heart swell, "You mean a lot to me and I am always, always here for you. I will not judge you whatsoever. I won't contradict you but have a civil conversation and a good discussion. It's how a good relationship is based on."

She held those beautiful mint green eyes and could see how much he was so sure of his words and he would stick to them with that lovely warm heart of his. As she laid down and with him at her side, she found herself before that chest that materialised in her soul. The emotions were breaking through it.

Delicate steps. Careful. Gentle.

She reached out and put her hand on the rusty chain. And started from when she was twelve years old and hearing the horrible words that fell from her drunk mother's mouth, and her father pleading with her to stop this madness for the sake of their three little girls...

#cillian murphy #teacher x student #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #fanfiction

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pietersetm · 4 years

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BILL SKARSGARD, 24, CIS-MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SILAS PIETERSE! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in “MACGYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (the sound of motorcycles passing, grease stained hands, veins made prominent, a scar under his right eyebrow, lipstick on his collar). when it’s the (libra)’s birthday on 10/22/1995, they always request their REUBEN SANDWICH from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kara, 26, she/her, est

+ south jersey had its charms. or rather, it didn’t. but it had silas. and silas had charm. learned charm. so as far as south jersey was concerned, it had that going for it. + his upbringing felt more like that of a tv characters’ than a real life person’s. on the tv it’s interesting and fascinating and fun and cool and different. in real life it’s just outlandish and provocative and unsafe and questionable. + si’s dad picked up ladies around him since the time he was an infant. he’d been around many scenes he probably shouldn’t have been involving the use of, trade of, and sales of sex and drugs. + growing up poor means not having tools like therapy to identify your trauma. + even if he or his family could afford therapy, it wasn’t something that would be prioritized. things like that were frowned upon in silas’ world. men were told to toughen up and tough it out. so he did. + on the bright side, though also unconventional, silas grew up around motorcycles. he’s pretty sure that common thread between he and his dad saved both their lives. they didn’t talk much unless it was about business or roughriders. + the complete opposite of his everyday world is his mother’s everyday world. she married up, moved to a nicer part of jersey, lived in a nice home, one with stairs. yeah, one level homes are nice, but stairs meant another level, it meant the house was bigger and the bigger the house the better your finances look to the outside world and therefore your status went up with it. + she tried to get silas to go stay with her, go to school in her district, but he politely declined, knowing that the roughhouse riders would have something to say about it if he did. + pride came with biker gangs. they were proud to wear their leather jackets with the fancy jackets on the back. it was the one thing they would splurge on. everyone pitched in. + when you’re family, you’re family, which meant that silas was allowed to join the biker gang young. obviously he couldn’t spend all of his time with them being a kid and having school and whatnot, but he would go with his dad every sunday. he looked forward to it every single week. + initiation took a toll on silas’ mental health and stability, made him question his morals and also left him with a black eye to match his jacket. if you look closely, there’s a scar below his right eyebrow from the ring of the fist that hit him. + stella, head of the roughhouse™, took an interest in silas. he was fulfilling all the duties that came with being the newest initiated member of the roughhouse™, sure, but he didn’t remember hearing about anyone else going to stella’s. especially not inside of stella’s. the two talked like he hadn’t with the others, hadn’t with... anyone. he considered her as more than just a leader, but maybe even his best friend, his family. + inside of stella’s is where silas met addison nudge ritter. at first, silas thought she was just “stella’s grand daughter,” but he was wrong. nudge became his best friend. his soft spot. they quickly begin sharing every single one of their days together. he takes her to his mother’s and they make fun of the fancy people in the area while going home to heating in the winter and home cooked meals at a fancy set dining room table. it took a long time for him to open up to nudge about that part of his life and he trusts her to keep it a secret from the rest of the gang. except for with momma stella because whether nudge knew or not, stella was bound to. she was omnipotent that way. + refusing help from his mother, silas fell into the same routine as his father, doing all of the same things that he did, but this time not in front of a little kid. he manipulated others, he satiated his needs by sleeping around but never spending the night, he took every opportunity to make money, illegal or not, and get this: it was always illegal. + the kinds of jobs people need to turn to the roughhouse for are not the kinds you can hire just anyone for. so the roughhouse slummed it with certain jobs and upped the keeps in others. they had a reputation in south jersey and it was as tough as the brooding look silas was taught to wear at a young age. + these jobs ranged from distributing drugs, transporting them, beating people up, leaving them unconscious in certain areas to frame people, and eventually when there were living, breathing people left half dead at silas’ hands, he ended up in blackthorne, which he found to be more of a new age government prison sentence than a university experience. + silas does as he’s told when he’s told to do it and next thing he knows he’s being rewarded kinda by going to gallagher. + the real reward is running into nudge again. they pick up right where they left off. only this time, there’s a boyfriend on her end and a secret on his. did he need the boyfriend’s approval to get in with nudge or did the boyfriend need silas’ approval to stay with her ? he hoped neither were true because while he wasn’t a good judge of character, a good judge of character probably wouldn’t keep silas around, especially not a spy that could look into silas’ past and find out all of the things he’s done, including what landed him in blackthorne. + what happened pre-blackthorne remains in a metaphorical vault, locked up to keep himself safe, others safe and because if he admits it happened, it’ll fuck him up for good. + silas is hanging on by a thread as is. he’s having sex and punching things just to feel things. now he has to pick a major and redefine his biggest life regret as a win, but as good of a liar as he might be to others, he’s not sure he can keep up the charade with himself but what would happen if it all fell apart and he came unraveling at the seams ? + at the very least, silas knows his alibi is rock solid. + he’d always enjoyed movies growing up, but seeing movies was a luxury that his father’s lifestyle didn’t offer them, so movies in theaters were few and far between until his mother married again and into a richer situation. + whenever he couldn’t hang out with nudge, he’d always say he was seeing a movie. to make up for it, he would take her to the movies with him at least once a month or every couple months, proof of his being a movie buff. + even when he was in a job rather than a movie theater, he would pick a movie, buy a ticket and read a synopsis to give nudge later. it felt worthwhile, having something solid to bring to court should he ever need it. plus, his jobs always paid enough to cover that ticket and then some. + in this fashion, silas began becoming a collector of sorts. a collector of movie knowledge and a collector of tickets. he kept every stub. every single one. because you never know how far down the line things will get brought back up. he needed proof of where he was and when. his tickets provided him that security. + so he took it a step further and kept every ticket. the ones that were not cover ups, too. the ones for concerts. the ones for carnivals. ok, to be fair it was pretty small for a “collection” and some of them were not bought by him, but maybe by females attempting to buy his attention with experience. + silas always found it a bit ironic that the word “admit” was on some types of tickets as if trying to heed a confession out of him. “admit one.” he’d consider the deed done, having admitted just one thing, if he were to ever come clean to nudge about what happened, or rather, to anyone.

#intro #gallagher:intro

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velthequeen · 5 years

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Behave Yourself

Pairing: Hank Voight x Khadasiah Blaisie

Word Count:

Warnings: SMUT

-with our lovely khadasiah blaisie, portrayed by our lovely tina kunakey!

-with prompts #14 “behave and you’ll get something sweet later”, and #27 “that was very anticlimactic”

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Khadasiah and Hank had been fighting a lot recently. No one knew about their fling, but everyone knew that Hank had went ballistic on her like, twice in the day. She didn’t understand what she was doing wrong. It was like he just snapped. It was because of the case they were working on. She knew he was beyond stressed. The case was that someone kidnapped a girl, and it looked like a serial killer they had been chasing in Chicago for a couple weeks now. But it wasn’t just any girl. It was the governor’s daughter. She matched the profile of the girls that this guy, or guys, liked. She was young, almost 16, with long brown hair and pretty brown eyes. The Intelligence unit didn’t think that he would escalate to taking such high risk people.

Khadasiah was reading the girl’s diary while the others tried to piece things together. She didnt see anything mentioning a boyfriend, mainly because the girl didn’t know what she liked. She had been talking about “weird” things happening with her. Khadasiah was a...vivid reader and learner. She envisioned herself in the person’s shoes, doing what they do and whatnot. Sia read intently before she was pulled back into reality by none other than Sergeant Hank Voight.

“You with us?” His rough voice asked her condescendingly. Sia just rolled her eyes and pulled her gaze away from him and to Erin, who was at the board now.

“Okay, um...as I was saying. We know she got abducted here,” Erin said, while pointing to one of Chicago’s parks on the map. “But we don’t know why she was there. Anything from her diary, Sia?”

“Uh...hold on.” Sia said as she flipped through the pages. She had read through, but she found some notable things that could be used to figure out how the serial killer picked his victims. But Hank had a different idea. she snatched the book from her hands, and filled through the the last diary entry before her disappearance. Sia looked at her lap and then to her sergeant with disbelief.

“She went on a walk because she ‘needed to think’.” Hank told his adopted daughter. Erin stared at him, as well as everyone on the team, before he gave them all glares which told them to look back at the board. “The closest park to her house is 30 minutes away from the abduction site.” Erin concluded.

“Alright. Erin, you and Halstead go talk to the governor and his wife. See if they know anything. Olinsky, you and Ruzek go to her school to see if she had been acting odd the past few weeks. Dawson, I need you to go to the last crime scene and the morgue. See if the last victim had anything at all other than physical appearance that the killer might want. Blaisie, you’re with me. Roll out in 10.” Hank said before going into his office and slamming the door.

Everyone went back to their desk. Al gave Sia’s shoulder a squeeze, and Erin sent her an apologetic glance. “The case is really stressing him out. The Governor is pressuring him with his job, Sia. Don’t let him get you down.” Erin told her. Khadasiah nodded. She saw Hank shuffling through papers in his office. She stood and walked into Hank’s office, much to the horror of her unit’s members. Hank knew it was her. By the way she walked, the sweet perfume she wore, and the fact that he just embarrassed her for a third time. He didn’t look up at her, and just kept going through his files.

“Where are we going?” She asked him. Hank kept going through his files when he answered. “Meeting up with Burgess and Atwater at the abduction site. See if there were any witnesses or evidence left behind.” Hank replies nonchalantly. Sia bit the inside of her cheek as she looked at him.

“Is that all, Khadasiah?” He asked her. Sia looked at him with both eyebrows raised. No one ever called her by her first name. They all usually called her Sia. And Hank knew that. “No, Henry. That’s all.” She said as she turned around. Hank’s eyes finally met her figure. He didn’t know that she knew his actual first name. Hank was just a nickname, but Henry was on his birth certificate. What he didn’t know is that she saw some mail at his house addressed to a “Henry Voight”. She smirked at herself, and was about to leave the room before she heard his gravelly voice.

“Watch yourself.” He warned her. His tone made a shiver go up her spine.

“Me? Maybe if you behave, you’ll get something sweet later.”

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It would take them a while to get to her abduction site. It was almost an hour away from the police department, and the traffic was terrible. Atwater and Burgess has got the call very early in the morning, so that’s why they were already there. Sia and Hank day in the car, driving behind a very slow traffic line. He glanced at her, and only saw her biting the pen she took with her that belonged on her notepad and not in between her lips. She knew he was watching, so she decided to give him a bit of a show. Khadasiah let her tongue slide up and down a bit on the writing utensil before looking at Hank. His face had no expression, but then she saw the growing bulge in his black pants.

“Why, hello there.” Khadasiah said as she looked at his crotch area. He wasn’t ashamed of his hard on, because he knew she was doing it to tease him. What he didn’t expect was for his detective to unzip his pants and rest her head under the wheel of his car. Hank felt his heartbeat quicken. “I’m driving.” He told her as she pushed her curly hair out of her face.

“And I’m doing you a favor, so you better keep your eyes on the road.” Khadasiah said as she let her fingers graze over the fabric that separated her lips from his skin. If you didn’t know what Hank’s dick was like, there was only one adjective to describe it: amazing. Amazing feeling, amazing length, and amazing strokes. The first time they had sex, Hank thought he was hurting her, but in reality, Sia was crying because of how good it felt. That’s how great it was. And Hank knew that she was only doing this so he wouldn’t be so hard on her. Emphasis on “hard”. He was about to say something else in retaliation before he felt her warm mouth cover his tip.

“God.” Hank groaned out. She started with her tongue running up and down his shaft, eliciting him to nearly swerve the car. She unbuckled her seatbelt so she could gain a bit more access. One of Sia’s hands was on his leg, trying to keep it from shaking. The other was on the base of his cock, pumping everything she couldn’t fit down her throat in her hand. One of Hank’s hands was in her hair, pushing it out of her face for her, while the other was on the steering wheel. Soft noises came from his throat. He could hear how wet her throat was, and it made him even more aroused. Hank watched as Khadasiah throat fucked herself, hearing her nearly gag on his length. When he was all the way down her throat and she wasn’t coming up for air, Hank gripped her hair tightly. While he drove, he pushed her head up and down on him. The man’s eyes were fluttering, and he was about to enjoy it even more before he heard his radio pick up feed. It was Ruzek.

“Hey, Sarge.” They both heard Adam’s voice say through the device. Sia was listening, but had no plans on stopping. Hank’s head was against his seat, and his chest was going up and down. “What’s up?” He said, his voices filled with composure. Khadasiah moaned against him, causing him to thrust into her throat. They both prayed that neither Olinsky or Ruzek heard her little slip up.

“The Governor is at his office, and his wife isn’t at home. But the door was unlocked and the daughter’s room is trashed. There’s blood on the window sill.” Adam told them. Khadasiah halted her movements as she went at an agonizingly slow pace. Her lips kissed the head of his manhood before she put him back in her mouth. She very much enjoyed doing this for him. She liked the feeling of him at her will, down her throat. Khadasiah pulled her mouth off of him as she pulled off the jacket she wore. She pulled up her shirt and pulled down her bra, and Hank nearly came right then and there. As Ruzek talked, her lips found his ear.

“I want you inside of me, Henry.” She moaned quietly. She saw that the road had very few cars on it. She went back down on him, Hank’s hand ushering her moves. “Search the room and the house. Then head to the Governor’s office.” Hank told them with a quick voice. Adam’s eyebrows furrowed. “You okay, Sarge?” He asked his unit chief. Sia was going at a steady pace, wanting to torture him. “Go faster.” He mumbled to her. Realizing that Adam had heard that, Hank had to improvise. “These cars won’t go any faster, Ruzek. Tell Burgess and Atwater we might be a bit late.” He told him before shutting off the radio and throwing it the openable console. Hank took his hand from her hair and went under her to knead her breasts in his hands. That made her moan even more, which caused Hank to thrust in her mouth again. He did it repeatedly, pulling over to a vacant side street. His breaths became quicker as he felt her throat close round his cock.

“Right there, Princess. Right there.” He groaned. Khadasiah decided to pain him even further by pulling her mouth off of him. She pumped him in her hand while she played with her nipples, a sight that made him nearly scream. “Henry, can you do me a favor and cum down my throat? This shirt is dry clean only.” She said with a smirk as she went back down on him. He didn’t know that she wasn’t going to let him cum at all. He knew she felt slick in between her legs, and that he was going to take care of it later. When he told her he was almost there, she hummed around him and brought her head back up. She fixed her clothes, putting them in the proper place, before smiling at him and looking back out the window.

“That was very anticlimactic.” Hank grumbled in annoyance, eliciting a giggle to come from her. When they got to the abduction site, Kim had asked Sia why her hair was all messed up. Quick thinking was a skill of hers. “Hank rolled the window up on my hair.” While Kevin and Kim debriefed then through the crime scene, Sia gave him a wink before going to look for some evidence. Kevin had smelled the fragrance on Hank. He knew the man hadn’t intentionally smelled like perfume, but he wouldn’t ask him questions about it either.

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It was another one of those nights where everyone had gone home except for Khadasiah and Hank. He always wanted to make sure she wasn’t leaving the office by herself, so he stayed later. Also, he had to finish his reports and notes, as well as she did. They had found a lead, but not the Governor’s daughter. Sia stood up from her desk and walked into his office. Hank’s eyes were furrowed, and his lips were in a line.

“Drop your shoulder, take your tongue off the roof of your mouth, and relax your eyebrows. You’re too stressed.” Sia said as she walked in, closing the office door behind her. Hank listened to her voice, how soothing it was. Sometimes when he was beyond stressed and angry, spoke to him in French.

“Se deténdre pour moi.” She told him as she went to his side, going behind him to rub his shoulders. Hank closed his eyes for a moment. Her hands started at his shoulders before slithering a bit further down his torso. Hank felt at peace. But then he remembered he had to get her back. She watched as his hand reached up to caress her clothed breasts, causing s velvety laugh to erupt from her throat. Hank stood up and pulled her to his desk, Sia sitting on top of it. Hank’s fingers met her chin as he made her look at him, and she couldn’t look away once their eyes met. His hands then found her waist, pulling himself closer as he captured her lips in his own. Hank loved kissing Sia. Her lips were soft, and warm, and it was so innocent. Sia liked kissing Hank because his lips felt like home. Safety. He was experienced and she knew he wouldn’t hurt her.

They made out while Sia began to unbuckle his pants. He was hard again, and she knew that, but what she didn’t know is that he had other plans for her. His fingers met her pants, unzipping her jeans for her. Sia stood briefly so she could pull her pants off, and Hank put her right back on his desk. His large hands cupped her neck and her waist, both of their heads tilted. Their tongues battled for dominance and Hank eventually won, causing Khadasiah to whine in his mouth. Before even realizing, Hank’s hands found her shirt, and he forcibly ripped it off of her body. It lay on the floor, the front of the thin fabric split into two. Sia pulled away and pouted.

“I liked that shirt.” She frowned at him. All Hank could do was smirk. “I’ll buy you another one.” He promised. Hank’s fingers found her underwear. They were black and lacy, just like her bra. When he saw that her expression had changed from a pout to fluttering eyes, he grinned in victory. “You this wet for me, Princess?” He asked her, even though he already knew the answer. All she could muster was a lazy “mhm” as she looked at him through her lashes. Sia didn’t even have time to react before Hank pushed his middle finger inside of her. She threw her head back and moaned out. His finger went in and out of her at a delayed rate, Sia trying grind herself against his fingers. She bit her lip so hard it drew blood when he added his ring finger. Hank’s thumb made its way to her sensitive bud as well, causing the French woman to pant.

“Oh mon Dieu.” She panted out in her native language. One of her legs was propped up on his desk so he could get better access, and her other foot was hanging languidly off of it. As Hank fingered her mercilessly, his other hand reached behind her to unhook her bra,watching it fall from her skin. Sia quickly threw it on the ground with her other discarded clothes. Hank’s mouth made it to one of her nipples, alternating between rubbing one and sucking the other. He met her eyes as he attacked her breasts, and all she could do was look back and groan. His fingers had become visibly wet and sticky as he fondled her hole. Sia’s hands were behind her, her elbows and knees going weak as his planted soft kisses in between the valley of her bosom, a sweet contrast to how rough he was being at her nether region.

“Hank,” She whimpered as she used one of her hands to push her curls away. As she moaned louder, Hank pulled his fingers out of her. Sia looked at him with wild eyes and whined loudly. The sergeant gave her a devious grin. “You know what I should do?” He questioned her. Sia looked at him with furrowed brows.

“I shouldn’t even let you cum. You left me hanging in that car.” He reminded her. Sia happily got off the desk and onto her knees. His cock was rock hard when she pulled it from the opening in his boxers. Hank watched as she put him back in her mouth, wasting no time as she bobbed her head back and forth. His head rolled back as his hands got tangled in her curls, guiding her mouth up and down on him. Hank was still aroused, so it didn’t take him that long to cum. He could hear how wet his length was in her throat, the way she choked and cane off of him for air. Sia hollowed her cheeks and sucked on him faster until he held her head down on his twitching cock while he released down her throat. She swallowed, because spitting isn’t ladylike. Hank held a hand for her to get back up, and she sat back on his desk.

His thumb met her clit again, but this time he got on his knees and began to eat her out. Her hand immediately went to his hair as he licked up her folds slowly and cautiously, eating her like she was his last meal. When he pulled away again, Khadasiah huffed in annoyance. “Hank, please.” She moaned out. He looked up at her, and she could see her juices glistening in his lips. “Use your words, Princess. Tell me what you need.” He told her before going back down and licking her even more, still keeping his eyes attached to hers. Sia felt a knot form in her stomach.

“Please. I wasn’t kidding in the car. I need you inside of me.” She whimpered. He sucked on her clit a few more times, causing her to moan louder before he stood up. Hank took his long cock in his hands and teased her entrance with his tip She giggled at him, watching before throwing her head back in ecstasy as he slowly entered into her. Hank pushed everything off of his desk, laying Sia gently down on the wood. Her back arched as he thrusted into her, her eyes squeezing shut. They had never fucked in his office before, nothing more than her blowing him from under the desk or him fingering her. This was a whole new experience.

“Say my name, Sweetheart.” He told her lowly, his voice becoming rougher if possible. His hand made it from her stomach to her breast, rubbing it gently to calm her. Sia could barely open her eyes. Her words felt mushy and slurred. “Hank...” She said with nothing more than a whisper. Her answer made him squeeze her breast, a cry coming from Sia immediately afterward. “What did you call me earlier, hmm?” He tried to jog her memory. Khadasiah opened her eyes and smiled at him.

“Is that what this is about?” She interrogated him. Instead of answering, he thrusted into her harder, causing her scream. “Say my name and I’ll go faster.” He repeated, giving her deep, slow strokes. “Henry.” She said with a quiet voice. That alone was enough for him to move faster, thrusting in and out of her quicker with each stroke. Khadasiah’s voice got choked up in the pleasure she felt. It was still a bit painful each time he put himself in her, but that was quickly replaced with sweet delight. Sia came up from the desk and wrapped her arms around his neck, wrapping one of her legs around his waist.

“Yes, baby!” Sia screamed as she heard their skin slapping together. Deep rhythmic sounds as his hips met hers, both of them groaning with passion. “Quiet.” He growled at her. His face was in the crook of her neck, giving her small yet sloppy kissed down her shoulder to soothe her. Sia was a screaming mess. Her manicured nails dug into Hank’s clothed back, most likely breaking skin. It just felt so good. She couldn’t contain her pleasure. “Just like that, I’m gonna cum.” Khadasiah cried out. Hank felt her teeth meet his shoulder as she tried to contain her screams. He dipped his hand between the two to rub her clit, causing a choked sob to come from her throat. He couldn’t see her tears, but it felt so good she began to cry.

“Beg for it.” Hank replies to her words. Khadasiah’s mind turned to mush. She could barely say what she just did. “Please let me cum, I can’t hold it.” She whispered in his ear. Hank wanted to spill into her when he felt her hot breath in his ear. But all he did was pull out of her, pushing his underwear and pants down before entering her again. “You make messes when you cum.” He explained as he began to shove himself into her harder. “Beg me, Sweetheart. Or else I won’t let you cum.” He threatened, eliciting s whine to come from her.

“Henry, please let me cum. Please baby.” She pleaded and choked over her own words. Hank pulled her closer to him as their lips met, Sia moaning every time he thrust faster. She pulled away and laid her head on his shoulder as she came around him, screaming as she did so. Her wetness coated him, but that wasn’t the end. Hank thrusted through her orgasm, making the aftermath more enjoyable than the actual climax. He kept going because he was going to reach his release soon too.

“I’m almost there, Princess. God, you look so pretty like that.” He said as he inspected her face. Her mouth still formed an ‘O’ shape and her eyes were closed, her heart beating rapidly from within her chest. “In me. I want it in me.” She groaned out. trying to push her hips into his. Hank’s hank made it to her face to wipe away her tears. He went slower since he thought he was hurting her, but when she whined and dug her nails into his arms, he knew she was okay. He kept pounding himself inside until he groaned and released himself deep within her. They both groaned when he did it, Sia’s lips pressed against his neck. Hank pulled out of, and helped her get cleaned up and get her clothes on as he got on his. Sia stayed on the desk. She knew she wouldn’t be able to walk.

“All of that,” She panted out. “Because I called you by your first name?” She questioned as she clipped her bra back on. Voight smirked at her. “You also helped me relax.” He responded. Since she didn’t have a shirt, Hank let her borrow one of his jackets. “Y’know I love it when you call me that.” He informed her, causing her to smile at him. “Well, if this is the result, then I’ll have to call you Henry more often.” Khadasiah giggled as she got off of the desk. Her legs gave out and Hank caught her in his arms, pulling her up to his lips.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it home by myself.” She batted her eyes innocently after pulling away. “Then maybe you should come home with me and I’ll fix you right up.” Hank told her, keeping his hands steady on her arms. She smiled. This is why she always kept an overnight bag in her car. “I’ll see you there, then.” She told him, nearly hopping out of his office. It hurt so much to walk, but it felt so good.

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“Are you limping?” Erin asked her the next morning. Khadasiah has walked in, uneven with her eyes bloodshot. Hank had kept her up all night. She held the hot cup of french vanilla coffee in her hands as she limped into Intelligence, smiling at everyone.

“I kinda took a tumble last night. I’m good.” She said as she made her way to her desk. Out of the corner of her eye, Sia could see Hank smirking at her. Then she looked down at her phone to see a text from him.

Voight: Round 2?

Khadasiah just sighed. She looked over at him in his office before nodding. This was gonna be a long day.

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softnorwegians · 6 years

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Some asks that I’m answering all together because I don’t have much to say and didn’t necessarily want to put them all on people’s dashes:

I just rewatched Season 2 and I‘m asking myself why I liked Noora that much. Besides the whole William thing. What he did to Vilde was so gross and he did not change. And let’s be hones, what happend to Noora when she was young was what William did to Vilde. Besides that. When she just directly shows Eva the tabs on Isaks Phone and talks about him and Sara in such a judgmental and mean way. And the whole Syria Crisis thing was so awkward, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to seem better 1\

2 than Eskild. And how she kissed Yousef even though she was so sure that Sana fancied him. And why? Because Sana did not tell her William had a new girlfriend. But in season 2 Noora doesn’t tell Eva about Jonas new girlfriend for a while. She tells her right before Eva and her go to the party where Jonas and his girlfriend are too. Ugh Noora in season 1 was awesome but they completely destroyed her character.

Yeah, tbh Noora was never one of my favorites? Maybe because I try to live-and-let-live and not get too judgmental so it’s extra painful to see someone failing at that. I think Noora is realistic and sometimes relatable but it can be a little hard to watch, hahaha.

I was always okay with Noora until s4 though! I absolutely got completely sick of her during s4, ajhksjf. I don’t hold kissing Yousef against her because I like to pretend that just didn’t happen but I was exhausted by how much we were seeing and hearing about her.

I’m confused as to why people are upset about William getting mad at Noora when he thought she slept with Nikolai?? Unless I’m remembering it wrong, he asked her “did you sleep with my brother” and she responded with “I don’t know” and he stormed off. That definitely doesn’t seem like an overreaction to me, just miscommunication as to what happened and what exactly Noora didn’t know (whether she was raped or not vs. whether she had consensual with him or not)

Well, “I don’t know” is an answer that doesn’t really make sense when related to the question of having sex so I think people felt like it was little ‘eh’ to not pick up on the undercurrent of what she was saying with it. But yeah, I’m not holding his initial reaction against him. It’s when he gets the texts that I’m like “...what”.

just saw this in the tag "blackmail? lol she doesn't have to go on the date. all she had to do was say "hell no" and then tell vilde what happened. it's not that serious". why did society teach us it's desirable for a man to never stop even if you say no to him, that if he just keeps pushing you'll see the light eventually. it's also funny that france leaked a key episode again to create hype. there's no way it isn't intential. i guess at least Italy will get s3 since they're in Oslo now *sighs*

I probably should have addressed more about Noora agreeing to the date but oh well. ...I have an allergic reaction to “s3” and “remake” in the same sentence. It’s making me not want to watch any of the remakes any farther, tbh.

one thing is also that he doesn't say it in a joking way, he sounds serious and it's very bad directed if that line was supposed to be a cute way of asking for consent.

Yeah, agreed, like I don’t get that at all from the line. It’s more what I figure it has to be.

If you look past how unnecessary annoying and obsessed Julie made Vilde (to a point some people probably thought it all was Vilde and not William), she also had a pattern with Norh*lm. His friends get beat up instead of him, he acts like 180, Noora doesn't owe him. He gets mad and hurt when she tells the truth, he walks away and she lays it out again but she kisses him. She doesn't know if she was assaulted but she has to get him back when he's been hurt. What a mess but boyfriend goalz!

I’m tired.

If it's hard to see how Wilhelm pressured Noora then switch it out to be about sex or coming out of the closet and add in how everything affects Vilde with her eating disorder and fragilness with her feelings then perhaps it's clear as a day.

Sorry, I’m not quite following this one! But I feel like I would support you. 😁

I don't see why peolke think william changes in s2? He gets points from his fans that he stops sleeping with girls, is gentle and soft (Vilde said he was that and that's why she fell back to her, NHs must really dislike Vilde in the 2.8 scene), doesn't pressure her with sex after she says she wants to wait, doesn't read her messages, finishes her essay while she's sleeping after a panic attack and GOSH doesn't leave his love in that state to party hard. Then ignores/levavs her when he finds out.

I’m still with Vilde, she deserved better than William and why isn’t that true for Noora too?

I would actually say literally nothing I hate about willhelm (besides not using a condom) is stuff heard via rumors and gossip and actually just through stuff he actually does onscreen lol. Also even if He never would've actually told Vilde about what happened threatening to do so isn't any better sorry

I just really hate in general that he’s leveraging something to get to Noora. I mean, she does agree to this date (offscreen) but even then, it was a bargain and not because she actually wanted to be there. What kind of “date” is that. I just hate seeing that in any context, a woman coerced into a “romantic” situation.

“Take Vilde, she reveals he was loyal, caring and gentle when they had sex beforehand we were made to believe the opposite was true”..Um and then he slept with every girl in school. I mean sleep with whoever you want, however many people you want but being gentle and nice in sex doesn’t mean your a good person. That is the opposite of loyal.... I don’t even hate William honestly think I hate Noora more but the pro side always reaches so hard only people who reach more are the Jonas haters.

Oh, yes, I didn’t comment on that but the “loyal” definitely doesn’t apply.

I agree we should have gotten way more Vilde and Even content and way less Noora and William drama. I hated the way Vilde was portrayed(the comments she made about Sana to the Pepsi max girls and just some stuff she did/said we’re not cool and I didn’t like that it was kinda brushed aside)and don’t get me started on the lack of Even. He was(I’m assuming)a big part of her life, he was best friends with her brother and was probably around a lot and we just didn’t get the storyline they deserved.

*pours one out for the s4 we imagined during the hiatus*

Common trauma? Amazing how William knows Noora doesn't feel loved and left by her parents yet he shuts her out and leaves her after he's seen her having a panic attack when she can't breathe and says she feels as if she's going to die over something she isn't ready to share yet. And this is supposed to be a desirable relationship? At least they are attractive? But attractive white fuckboys have always gotten what they point at.

Yeahhhhhhhh, it really does make it harder to excuse what he does when he knows something is wrong and she’s actually pretty upfront with “there’s something I have to tell you but can’t yet”.

it's amazing how most 18/19 are decent at that age and you get to vote, drive and drink, but if you are a rich badboy you have a right to act however you want and people must forgive you in the end. since julie never made his bff chris be more than a second supporting character, why couldn't he be the huge asshole instead and wilhelm had to be torn with his loyalty? then I rmbr the blackmail date did so he missed defending his boys, tg s1 didn't say it was the date's fault he wasn't there! 😊

I don’t even mind that they started William out as an asshole, they just went too far with it imho and never pointed out “this behavior is wrong and we know it” and he never had to atone or redeem himself for what he did.

n8rhelm is supposed to be the classic hate to love story, there's a million movies but ive never seen one where the person is terrible to the love interest and manipulate them like this. also william is a really weak actor, don't know if that doesn't translate,all he have is his looks and glaring stares. he couldn't even deliver pretending to be a bad actor with niko there or when he tells nooea to be quick with the water. he has no timing or natrualness, only kisses and react n's great acting

I find Thomas Hayes to be... not a great actor but also not completely terrible? There’s some scenes I buy him (the marching band scene where he’s rolling his eyes I remember as good?) but he doesn’t bring a lot sometimes. idk.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “(1) ok I’m pro-noorhelm and arguing via ask is hard with a limit and I…”

And whenever Noora talks about his good qualities and whatnot, we never really get to see them. It’s all off screen. It would be easier to forgive him if we actually got to see his change, but ah well

☝ I think that would really improve things, tbh.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “the funniest argument to me used by noorh*lm stans in excusing his…”

It also perpetuates the idea that ‘no means convince me’ and that’s farked up

Ugh, yeah. That’s one of the more depressing undercurrents of s2.

daigina replied to your post “1)The truth is really in the eyes of the beholder , you guys don’t…”

I agree it’s a good move with William but it does nothing to resolve the major problem with him that season which is how he treated Noora with no discussion or explanation or apology at all. If that detail had been fitted into even a short discussion between the two over all of THAT in Williams clip that would have been soooo nice

Also that was such a tiny thing?? Like they didn’t even spare two seconds of dialogue on it, it’s barely there. If you need a magnifying glass to see character development, does it count?

Yeah, I liked that lawyer detail but it really was such a last minute, supplementary thing!

i still think julie had no idea what the fight was about in s4 or changed her mind when someone was coming back. we knew she rewrote and missed gullruten, several norwiegians reported on rumors at the time that she bearly had written the last episode when it was time for recording. she wrote the fan fave to have an unprovoked violent moments just in time to bring back the one who everyone complained had hit someone with a bottle. and how could yousef've been so wrong about what happened at bakka

oh god, let’s not even get started. it just makes me sad to think about how thrown together s4 wound up being.

Hi. Is it true that skam italia is using a white actress to play Sana, a muslim character?If so, it is wrong in so many levels, tbh!

I believe the actress is white and isn’t a muslim. And yeah, nagl.

I feel like that with skam france they have the intention to do a season 3 and want it to start in autumn to align with the original series. I’m not saying I agree or like this tactic but it seems to make the most sense of why. Sure the time span is short between 1 and 2 but it’s not the most unrealistic. The director said he went on this project because of season 3 especially so I guess that’s why I think it’s like this. It would be more odd for Lucas to move in to the flat during the year.

Oh god... sorry, not you, I’m just at the point where I really don’t like being reminded that season three will ever be remade anywhere.

#anon #replies #skam

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kateofthecanals · 6 years

Text

Thoughts on The Last Jedi

Chock full o’ spoilers under the cut, which I have divided into stuff I liked and stuff I didn’t like, so it’s not ALL bad, lol.

Please note, though, that these are my impressions after only one viewing. I definitely need to see it again (and I will soon), and I’ll be reading everyone else’s posts and meta (good and bad), so my feelings might change...

Until then...

*deep sigh*

Okay, so, my chief problem with this movie is that the first 2/3 of it basically turned out to be pointless. There was all this terrific setup and seeding -- like, literally, those scenes between Rey and Kylo were plucked right out of my fantasies and headcanons over the past 2 years -- but then in the last 30-40 minutes it was like “oh haha just kidding!” and we ended up in the same place we were at the end of TFA. The characters didn’t actually evolve. They went through ALL that but just seemed to ultimately decide that they were better off where they were before. Nothing ultimately mattered -- the Force bond, the hand touch, Snoke’s murder, the team-up in the throne room, the revelation of Rey’s parents, etc... What did that actually accomplish if Kylo was just gonna go right back on his bullshit and Rey was gonna go right back to the Resistance like nothing even happened?

Breaking down more specific things below...

STUFF I LIKED:

- As I said, those early scenes between Rey and Kylo, feeling out their Force-bond, were terrific. Everything I had been hoping for. FORCE-BOND CONFIRMED!

- The Hand Touch scene omigaawwwwd. It was basically Force-sex, complete with Force-gasm. The way it was filmed, the insinuation was preeeeetty clear -- the soft, warm lighting, the fact that Kylo took off his glove so as to facilitate SKIN-TO-SKIN contact, the EXTREME CLOSE-UP of their fingertips where you could see their fingerprints, the little gasp Rey let out.... It was the hottest, most sexually-intense scene I could have imagined without any actual sex being involved. Very clever of Rian, considering this is a Disney movie and whatnot. Too bad they got caught by lame Uncle Luke! ;-P

- 8-PACK CONFIRMED!!! I actually saw a post about this scene prior to the movie but I thought it was just a JOKE. I cannot believe they actually did that, I was laughing so hard. Primarily because you just KNOW Kylo did that shit on purpose, thinking to himself “Hmmm, what can I do to Seduce Her To The Dark Side...? Why, she’ll never be able to resist my SWEET PECS!” Like... bro... stop. LMAO. Anyway, I appreciate the catering to the female gaze. ;-)

- R.I.P. Rey Skywalker and Rey Solo. Can we please move on now? (Though a friend did say he suspected the revelation of Rey’s parents wasn’t actually true, but, like, she was the one who confirmed it, so why wouldn’t you believe it???)

- R.I.P. Finnrey? Between Rose smooching Finn, and Rey grinning as she watched Finn hold vigil over injured Rose, I think we can say yes. Or maybe we’re just being trolled here too...

- The team-up in the throne room made me soooo happy; even the other people in the theatre were cheering. I’d LIKE to think that this is foreshadowing a future partnership of some sort between them, but...

- The fact that, after learning the truth about Kylo, Rey insisted on calling him Ben. He seemed really affected by that too. Well, for a little while anyway...

- PORGS, GLORIOUS PORGS! I just wish there had been more of them, LOL. But I’m sure Rian wanted to use them sparingly so they wouldn’t wear out their welcome, so he achieved that at least.

- I think I’m content with how Luke’s story was resolved. I have to ponder it some more before reaching solid conclusions, but he went on his own terms, which I think is the best we could have hoped for. And we can be sure there will be tons of Luke Force-Ghost action in Episode 9, lol.

- When Rey and Kylo had hand-sex, she saw Kylo becoming Ben again, and Kylo saw himself and Rey ruling the Galaxy side-by-side. I don’t think those were mutually exclusive visions of the future -- if this trilogy is all about finding Balance, then I think that the truth of those visions (filtered and interpreted between two very disparate perceptions) will meet somewhere in the middle. My headcanon endgame for Reylo has always been Rey and Ben becoming Gray Jedi and teaming up to “rule” the Galaxy from a position of that ever-coveted Balance, so I think that is what those visions could be hinting at. At least, I’d like to think so, but those last 30-40 minutes gave me major reservations...

- So, I’m putting this one under Stuff I Like but it’s not something I really liked or disliked, I just thought it was a bizarre choice, and that was this sudden playing of Hux strictly for laughs. Like, yeah, in TFA, he was a great source of comedy for myself and others (#coasters), but the whole reason he was so funny was because of how utterly seriously he (and the film) took himself. But then he became somewhat of a caricature of himself in TLJ -- like an SNL sketch version of Hux. I mean, I enjoyed it and was entertained, but it was just an odd choice to me.

STUFF I DIDN’T LIKE:

- The turning point for me, going from “YES YES YES!” to “oh...” was immediately after the team-up in the throne room, when I quickly realized that Kylo didn’t kill Snoke because he suddenly “woke up”, and he didn’t do it for Rey... he did it so that HE could be the HBIC. He didn’t change at all. His ambitions only became amplified.

- I was really bummed when Snoke “revealed” that he was the one who facilitated the Force-bond between Kylo and Rey, but I was relieved to see this wasn’t the case after all at the end when Kylo and Rey had that one last Force-encounter. But again, what was this actually worth in the end? She closed the door on him. It was established in this film, via Luke, that a Force user can close themselves off to the Force. Who’s to say Rey won’t do the same to Kylo? That she will find a way to cut him off completely? There’s literally nothing stopping her, because she has clearly given up on him...

- ... as has everyone else. And with good reason, tbh. The moment Kylo threw Rey under the bus for Snoke’s death, declared himself new Supreme Leader, and went fucking buckwild on Luke, I knew all hope for redemption was gone. Even Leia was like, “nope, I was wrong, he’s lost for good.” Basically what I got out of this movie was, Rey and Kylo “flirt” with the other sides of the Force for a hot second but then just ultimately decide that they belong where they were in the first place. Gee wow what awesome character development...

- The revelation of Rey’s parents was just so... banal. I felt like this was thrown in there just to put the question to rest, without any additional thought or exploration, even though that was made such a HUGE deal of in TFA. But, nah, they were “nobodies”, end of story, case closed, that’s all she wrote. It was never even explained how Kylo knew about Rey’s parents!!

- I’ve seen people claim that this movie “shuts down” anti arguments for good and that is simply not the case. There is still plenty of ammo from this movie they can use, chief among them Kylo’s cringeworthy statement to Rey that “You’re nobody. But not to me.” Oh great, I can see the Discourse already... reeeaaaally wish Rian hadn’t thrown fuel on the fire like that, but here we are. I mean, there’s some degree of justification in that (a) Kylo can’t people and this was the only way he could think to convince Rey to stay with him by playing off her one biggest weak spot, and (b) he’s perpetuating the cycle of abuse tactics instilled in him by Snoke, but NEITHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE GOOD EXCUSES. Like, okay Kylo, it’s lovely that she means something to you, but telling her that YOU are the only one who sees something special in her is a dick move for sure. (Basically, the scene felt like the Blackwater to me, with Kylo trying to implore Rey to come with him, she refusing, and him just flipping the fuck out on her... YA BLEW IT, SON! Hopefully, though, like Sandor, Kylo will realize that, if he REALLY wants to be with Rey, he has to become a better man... that HE has to change for HER and not the other way around... But I am not hopeful this is a direction Lucasfilm will ultimately decide to take.)

- I’m glad everyone’s happy that Kylo didn’t actually KILL Leia (which I knew he wouldn’t) but I dunno how many brownie points he gets considering he still let those other fighters take her out... I mean, she SHOULD have died, but apparently she’s from Krypton or something? LOL... But anyway, I mean, he may have not known that those other fighters were around him, but he still could have done SOMETHING, but he didn’t.

- And he barely even flinched when Snoke was torturing Rey. You’d think that, I don’t know, since they have a Force-bond and everything, that he would have been able to feel her pain or something???

- During Kylo’s attack on Crait, at a certain point (around the time Luke shows up), Rey just, like, disappears, completely, and doesn’t show up again until the very end to do her rock-lifting trick. Firstly, where the hell was she that whole time, but more importantly, wouldn’t it have been kind of awesome if, like, she could sense what was happening between Kylo and Luke and using their Force-bond try to talk him out of it? And see him actually STRUGGLE with it because he’s still torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to be the Big Bad? Buuuut no, because at that point, both their minds were made up, and Rey had given up on him anyway.

- On a more technical level, I was really disappointed by how the Force-bond sequences were filmed. I expected way more from Rian Johnson; this was something any first-year film student could have come up with. Now, I’m not claiming to be “better than Rian Johnson”, but in my headcanons of Rey and Kylo’s Force-conversations, there was a noticeable atmospheric shift -- some sort of visual cue that something “different” was going on... Instead of just this basic cutting back and forth between them in their respective locales. Meh.

- I didn’t find Rose that memorable, sorry. And her whole mission with Finn, much like the Kylo/Rey storyline, ended up being completely pointless, thanks to Admiral Holdo needlessly keeping vital info about her plans from Poe. WHY??? All of it was just an elaborate excuse to send Finn off on another adventure where he would end up back with the First Order so he could finish off Phasma, period. Like, yeah, there was that little hint at the very end that those kids who took care of the fathiers would, like, have something to do with the Resistance in the next movie, but honestly that could have just been a little meta commentary about how kids have been inspired by the Star Wars franchise over these past 40 years. Which is nice and all, but Finn and Rose’s mission was still pointless.

- Same with Holdo. So here’s this lady who just shows up out of nowhere, keeps vital information from Poe for no good goddamn reason, thereby forcing him to come up with his own plan and send Finn & Rose on a wild goose chase, and then suddenly we’re supposed to buy this close, intimate relationship she has with Leia so that we’ll feel all wistful when she decides to go on a suicide mission to protect the Resistance?? That should have been Leia, tbh... and not just for cheap emotional impact. At that point, Leia believed both the cause and her son to be lost and really had nothing else to lose at that point, and it would have been well within her personality to take out as many motherfuckers as she could to go down with her. Holdo should have been set up as Leia’s heir apparent going forward, and Leia going all kamikaze on the First Order would have been an interesting parallel to Luke also sacrificing himself to protect the ones he loved. AND it would have solved the whole issue of how to move forward in the story after Carrie’s death. I mean, we know that Leia was supposed to play a big part in Episode 9, but we’ll never know what that was supposed to be anyway...

Okay so those are the just the things on the forefront of my mind today. I might think of some more, and like I said at the top, my opinions on these might change... and y’all are free to try to change my mind. ;-)

No but seriously, very anxious to hear other people’s opinions!

#star wars #tlj #tlj spoilers #no really tons of spoilers here #are you sure?#maybe just Like this post and save it for after you've seen it?#okay then!

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