#fluency tracking

[batemanofficial]

tiktok has migrated away from only showing me content in french to giving me english interspersed with polish

#speak friend and enter #i know a little russian so i can understand bits and pieces but i wanna know how the algorithm arrived at that conclusion #but now i know how to say 'bitch' and 'snail.' i'm on the track to fluency

[sulieykte]

𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 // 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 ✧˚ · . 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒊𝒊

‣ Pairing: Adult!Neteyam (20) x Fem!Omatikaya Reader (19) ‣ Warnings: mentions of bruising and biting, mean Neteyam yet again & a little bit of slut shaming ‣ Word Count: 2.4k ‣ A/N: Did I mention there might be smut in part two? We're not quite there yet it's coming don't worry. This fic has truly taken on it's own life and what was meant to be a two, maybe three parter is looking like it's going to be much longer. I'd like to thank you all on your love for the first part and I hope you all love this part just as much. This was proof read at nearly midnight so if you see any errors, no you didn't. English is in bold italics all other dialogue is in Na'vi. ‣ Na'vi word bank: parultsyìp - term of affection for children

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“Slow down Parultsyìp.”

At Jake’s words, you inhaled a deep shaky breath, attempting to steady yourself and give the explanation he demanded of you. He had said those words to you many times, but now they lacked the softness they had had when you were a child, and his fluency was not developed enough for the hastiness of your speech. His tone was now laced with disappointment that sank into your chest like a knife.

It had taken nearly an hour to get to this point and much negotiation on Jake’s part. While he hadn’t been able to convince you to remove yourself from where your back was firmly planted against the wall of the tent affording you as much distance from Neteyam as you could manage short of leaving the family’s home. You had considered your escape momentarily, but you knew you had no chance of doing so with the three Sully men in between you and the exit.

He had practically had to pry your hand from where it covered your other, clearly concealing an injury that you insisted you didn’t have. Until then you’d been clinging to hope that you could take the fall for the whole ordeal, take your licks and leave. Unfortunately, your shaking frame and wild eyes that couldn’t go more than a few seconds without tracking Neteyam had given you away. Jake had gently pulled your arm towards him, his eyes widening as he saw the imprint of his son’s hand impressed onto your skin in purple and navy.

The Olo’eyktan didn’t have time to comment before he had to intervene as his youngest son barrelled towards his eldest. With a shove out of the Marui, Lo’ak had been sent to the Tsahiks tent to get his nose looked at and to send his mother and sister to tend to the two he declared as “Dumbasses.”

So, you found yourself still pressed as far as you could away from Neteyam, Kiri tending to your bruise as Neytiri tended to her son’s injury, Jake crouched in front of you with his eyebrows raised as he waited for your retelling of the events. “Slow down, try again.”

You took a deep breath, not seeing much of an out for yourself. Whatever marks Neteyam had left on your body, and whatever else he was going to do to you if he had reached you, you had intended to break curfew and inflicted a much worse injury on him. Neteyam had been awfully quiet since his fathers entrance, seemingly finding some spot on the ground more interesting than his father’s questioning of you. You were sure it was only a matter of time before he took his opportunity to drop you in it, so you found no point in lying.

“I was going to stay out past curfew.” You saw Neteyam’s eyes flicker to you from the edge of your vision and tried to stay focused on the man in front of you, nodding for you to continue. “Neteyam tried to get me to come back, but I didn’t want to, and he grabbed me.” You winced, as Kiri pressed a little too hard as she applied the healing balm to your wrist, uttering a quick apology before continuing with a gentle hand.

When you returned to look at Jake, you noticed Neteyam had finally lifted his head and his eyes were on you, his jaw tightened as you met his gaze before he looked away. “I don’t know what happened, I panicked.” You continued. “I just wanted him to let go so I bit him… and I ran.”

You failed to add that for a moment, you felt like you were running for your life, or that you weren’t entirely sure what would have happened if you hadn’t found Lo’ak.

Jake sighed, his hand coming to press against his brows for a moment before he shared a look with his mate.

“Kiri, go check on Lo’ak.” The girl nodded, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze as she left to follow her father’s order.

Jake rose to his feet, turning to his son. “All that true?”

“Yes sir.”

There’s a silence that sets your teeth on edge. He should just get it done, whatever punishment he could throw your way could hardly be worse than the atmosphere of the Marui right now.

“You two need to grow the hell up. This is starting to get really old.” Jake didn’t look at either of the offending parties, pacing the tent with one hand on his hip, the other pinched at his brow. “Are you guys not tired of this by now? Because I know I’m exhausted.” You sniffed, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall, determined not to cry in front of Neteyam even if it broke your heart to hear the expression of Jake’s disappointment in you.

Jake, along with Neytiri has been a constant in your life from the moment you were born. He was a second father figure to you and when your own father returned to Eywa while fighting alongside him, he was the only one you had left. It hurt to see him look at you with such shame in his eyes.

“You. You are to be Olo’eyktan after me. Do you think this is the behaviour of a clan leader?” He turned to Neteyam, his eyebrow raised as his son struggled to meet his eye. “Indulging in petty little rivalries, causing harm to clan members out of rage?” He gestured to your arm, Neteyam’s gaze following. “To family?”

Neteyam’s eyes met yours, he wanted you to know he meant what he was about to say. “She’s not my fa-“

“Boy don’t even finish that thought.” Jake warned. Neytiri hissed, pushing at her son's forehead. He shook his head, his gaze leaving yours after successfully having lit a fire in you.

“And y/n. Panicked or not, you took it too far. That’s going to leave a scar.”

“All mighty warriors have scars. I did him a favour, maybe now he can stop trying so hard to convince everyone.” The disapproving look you received from Neytiri was worth it to see the tensing of Neteyam’s shoulders as he tried not to react.

“Geez, I don’t know what we’re going to do with you two.”

As it turned out, it didn’t take long for him to figure out what to do with you.

You and Neteyam had received matching punishments, starting with no Ikran for two weeks. It had been the longest you’d been away for Anì since you bonded. You had tried to argue the cruelty of this only to be threatened with a Lo’ak ban being issued if you didn’t stop.

At the suggestion of your mother when she’d joined the other parents’ deliberation, you’d also been stripped of all your duties as warriors during this time and placed on clean up duty for the entire clan each night. It was only a week in and your will to live had begun to slip away, the only solace you found being in the presence of your best friend.

Of course, it had only been fair to punish you equally, but you could not yet be trusted to be left alone together without supervision. Kiri was too busy working alongside the Tsahìk as the raids they had been barred from continued, and Lo’ak had picked up some of Neteyam’s responsibilities, an unspoken reward from Jake for his intervention. Tuk had outright refused, bursting into tears and exclaiming how it was unfair for her to be punished just because they couldn’t get along. That left Spider, whose desperation to be useful to the clan and Neytiri’s personal request – a good move on Jake’s part you had to admit – could not refuse.

You didn’t miss the irony when the three of you received your orders for the day. You were to map out the unoccupied areas of the cave systems, documenting which areas were suitable for expansion. The current layout of High Camp was liveable, but the clan was in need of room to breathe.

Staying several paces ahead of your companions, you tread lightly over the stone path, skipping over the familiar areas you knew from your previous explorations were not suitable. Spider’s presence between you and Neteyam created a distance you were more than comfortable with. Your parents may have had hope that the time you spent with each other would push you closer to one another, or at least closer to tolerating one another but it had been a failure thus far.

If anything, it had proved Spider had a promising future in mediation, having managed to keep the two of you civil.

You had been walking for an hour before you reached your intended destination. A cavern you had come across with Lo’ak in the early days of High Camp. Its walls lined with vines and bioluminescence, a spring at the centre. For a moment you considered that maybe you shouldn’t have brought them here, that you should’ve kept this place a secret between yourself and your friends, but you shook off the doubt.

“Oh, come on man, I’ve seen how Tsani looks at you. There’s no way you haven’t tapped that.” You had tuned out Spider and Neteyam’s conversation for most of the journey, a good choice you found once you started listening in again. Rolling your eyes you walked further into the cavern, running your fingers through the vines.

“I’m not Lo’ak, I don’t have the luxury of passing myself around the clan.” You snorted at that, Neteyam pausing at your interruption, the first sound you’ve made the whole journey. His eyes narrowed as he followed you into the cavern. “Something to say?”

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. It’s not like Spider’s supervision would do anything if you really pissed him off again, but you couldn’t resist when faced with his blatant lies. Girls talked, a lot. And of course, when it was the future Olo’eyktan, there had been some bragging involved.

“I mean of course you don’t but you’ve had the luxury of Tsyal, Kyuna, Yina…” You drew out each name, pleased as Neteyam’s face dropped. You were ready to declare yourself another win when a smirk crossed his face, your stomach sinking at the sight.

“The same luxury you’ve given to Ralu, I’m sure.”

A sharp intake of breath was heard from the cavern’s entrance, and you looked to see Spider open his mouth, his face melting into worry as he attempted to intervene, his hand wrapped around the vines at the mouth of the cavern as if he were holding on for support. You held your hand up, quieting him before he could speak.

“You are wrong.” You bluffed, and badly at that. It was not something you expected him to know. You had only told Lo’ak and Spider and you were sure they would not share the secret of the intimacy you had shared with the hunter after the second successful raid you had been paired with him for. Neteyam laughed, his face emanating the most joyful look you think you’d ever seen on his face in your presence.

“Oh, I’m not sure, I think I heard him right. What was it he said?” He pinched his chin, fake pondering for a moment. “Insatiable… Like a Palulukan in heat.”Heat pooled at your cheeks, the humiliation bringing back that sharp stinging sensation at the corner of your eyes as you tried to keep your promise to never cry in front of Neteyam again.

“Seriously bro? Too far.” Spider moved towards you, struggling to detangle himself from the vines he’d been clinging to in his rush to move towards you and give comfort. You turned to tell him it was fine, to stay out of it because you were more than ready to wipe the smirk off of Neteyam’s face.

That’s when you saw the crumbling rock land by Spider’s foot. “Shit!” Looking up at the mouth of the cave, your fears were confirmed as more, bigger rocks followed the path of the first, detached from their original place by the pull of the vines. There was no time to warn Spider, not in words at least, and your body could move faster. You lunged forward, pushing Spider’s body away from the path of the collapsing cave entrance, not missing the crunch and his cry of pain as he hit the ground.

There was no time for you to react before you felt hands wrap around your waist, your body yanked back with a force that took the wind out of you. Your back hit a hard surface as your legs were knocked out from under you. All you could do was lie there for a moment, chest rising rapidly as you tried to regain control of your breathing.

Blinking rapidly, you tried to sit up, finding resistance against your middle that pulled you back down. Neteyam’s hands squeezed tighter around your middle as he groaned in pain, he’d had a much harder landing than you had when he twisted you out of the way of the falling rubble, his body hitting the uneven rocky ground as you landed on top of him.

Your body froze as the current position you were in registered in your brain, the hands pressed into your waist were not half as bruising as the grip around your wrist, but the rush of your heart and your body screaming at you to get away once more had you scrambling out of his grasp towards the cave exit.

Except there was no longer an exit. “No. No. No.” You shook your head, refusing the reality before you. The wall of rock where the exit had once been, where Spider had just been standing, could not be real. You moved closer, pushing against the blockade with as much force as you could knowing before you had even touched it that it would not work.

Turning back, you faced your fellow prisoner, now sat rubbing at his neck with a grimace. “Please tell me you brought your comm with you.” He didn’t need to answer, even without the look on his face you could see the absence of the device from his neck. Crumpling down to the ground against the newly formed cavern wall, you called out to your friend. “Bro, you good?”

“Yeah.” Spider coughed, his voice quiet from outside of the rock prison. “Thanks for the save.”

“Thank me by getting us out of here.” Your eyes met with Neteyam’s, his holding a similar panic to your own. “Quickly.”

tag list: @inntercreationflower, @lili-of-the-dream, @arminsgfloll,@strawberryclouds22,@aliceantalus,@afro-hispwriter,@gretesstuff

#~ lys writes ♡‧₊ * #action // reaction #avatar #avatar twow #atwow #neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam angst #avatar fanfiction #avatar x reader

[huntingingoodwill]

lost in translation (j.g.)

masterlist

pairing: javi gutierrez x translator!reader

desc: when filming an ad campaign in tokyo, javi is a fish out of water. thankfully, you're there to help him translate, and explore with him off the clock.

He squinted against the harsh glare of the lights, the crew being reduced to a bustling mass of shadow. Sticking a finger into his too-tight collar, he tried to ease himself of the feeling of suffocation. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t…” Javi muttered, wide brown eyes peering up at the director. 

Smatterings of Japanese and English left the director’s mouth, accompanied by some gesticulation as he struggled to communicate. Javi felt warmth creep up his cheeks, embarrassed at his own lack of fluency in Japanese. 

He should’ve at least picked up some vocab, he thought, fiddling with the smoking jacket the costume team had conjured up for him. He was only in Tokyo for a couple of days to film an ad campaign for a whiskey company, but it would’ve helped. Especially in situations like this exact moment, where the director’s words seemed to jumble and dissipate beneath a shroud of mystery. 

“Sorry I’m late!” 

You didn’t sound sorry. 

Your words were flippant and bored, your face not betraying an ounce of apology. Cool and calm as the unbroken surface of a lake. You flounced into the studio, and your figure came into focus, the studio lights haloing your figure. His saviour. 

He felt a little ridiculous in your presence, dressed like a child’s guess of what a “cool guy” would look like. Perched in a velvet armchair that seemed to swallow him up, his fingers nervously played with the neck of the glistening bottle he was meant to convince viewers all over the world to buy. He was parched, strangely uncomfortable. Even the prop whiskey seemed enticing, though it was probably just some watered-down coffee. 

You stuck out your hand. 

He stared at it. It was a nice hand. 

“Oh!” He exclaimed, realising you meant for him to shake it, not just stare at it in blind adoration. He took it. “Sorry. I’m a little… overwhelmed.” His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed thickly. 

“Performance anxiety is normal. Not everyone possesses the massive talent needed to pull off a whiskey commercial.” You joked, laughter bubbling in your throat. “I’ll be your translator today. Hopefully that’ll help.” 

His eyes widened, hand tightening around yours gratefully. “You’re my hero.” 

“I know.” You smiled. “I’ll need you to let go of my hand now. I feel the director’s eyes burning into my back.” 

Javi looked up, watching as the director switched between glaring at his watch and at the two of you. 

“Oh! Yes. Sorry.” He exclaimed, slipping his hand from yours.

The director began firing off directions, which you quickly translated. Simple instructions. Turn toward the camera. Pour a shot. Deliver the line. 

“Action!”

Turn toward the camera. Pour a shot. Pour a shot. Pour a-

He was unable to tear his eyes away from you. His eyes tracked the line of your silhouette behind the camera, admiring the smile that blossomed across your face as he caught your eye. You giggled at his deer in the headlights gaze. A stupid smile spread across his face. 

“Cut!” 

The director mumbled a couple words in your ear, and you headed to Javi’s side. 

“Sorry about that.” Sheepishly, he raked his hand through his tousled brown curls. “I guess I’m just…” He admired your smile. He loved your smile.  “Stumped.” 

“Tough, huh? A real challenge.” 

“Don’t be cruel.” He laughed. You loved his laugh. The endearing crinkle in the corner of his eye. 

“Sorry.” You grinned. “Say the line like… you’ve invited an old friend over for a drink. He’s an emotional drunk, so he’s pouring his heart out to you. So, you’re talking to him with enough warmth to comfort him, while being dismissive enough to let him know it’s getting late and you kinda want him to leave.”

He raised an incredulous eyebrow. “That’s… specific. But I think I get what you mean. Did the director tell you all that?” 

“I may have taken some artistic liberties.” You batted your lashes, feigning innocence.

“You should be a director.” 

“I know.” 

With your artistic vision, filming wrapped after a few more takes. You were pulling on your coat when Javi strode over to you, pushing past the production assistants that flitted and fussed around him. 

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You teased.

“My massive talent helped me pull through.” 

That earned another smile from you, and he felt the urgency to not let you slip through his fingers nag at the back of his mind. 

“So, um… I was wondering, are you doing anything after this? I was thinking of getting a drink…” 

“So you need me to translate your order for you?” You deadpanned. 

“Oh!” His heart thrummed in his chest, his tongue stumbling over the words he struggled to form. “I mean, I could always pay your rate as a private translator if it’d take too much of your time-” 

“Nah.” You chuckled, amused by his flustered state. “Free of charge. How could I resist those puppy dog eyes?” You quipped, voice overly saccharine as you ruffled his hair. He smiled, in spite of himself. 

“As long as you take off that horrible coat. Come on, we’ve got a train to catch.” You called over your shoulder, leaving him to hurriedly shed his costume and hurry along after you. 

“Crowded, huh?” He whispered. 

“A little.” You mumbled, pressed against his chest. 

You swayed against him to the rhythm of the train, forced to be in close proximity due to the packed rush hour crowd. 

“I don’t usually get this close with guys I’ve just met, by the way.” You muttered, another crush of passengers entering the cabin and pushing you even closer. “Consider yourself lucky.” 

“The luckiest.” He prayed you couldn’t feel his heart, which was pounding in his chest. 

The train doors shuddered open, and you wrapped your hand around his, squeezing through the doors and rushing down the stairs. He laughed as you sidled through the crowd together, breaking out from the dull train station onto the street. 

It was like breaking through water. He took a deep breath of the cool, thin air, the night dark and slick. It had been raining, and every surface was dewy, neon lights glinting off the wet, black pavement. 

“This is the first time I’ve been anywhere outside of my hotel room and the studio since I got here.” The confession hung in the air, whisked away as the chatter of passerby whipped by, people rushing past him as he stood still, agape at the scene before him. 

“That is such a shame.” You muttered. He thought you wouldn’t have heard him. But you did. 

“Why are we still holding hands?” 

“It’s the first time you’ve been outside of your hotel room and the studio since you got here. You could get lost. I’m just keeping you safe.” You said. 

He kept his eyes glued in front of him, but he could hear the smile in your voice, clear as day. 

“Do you want to let go of my hand?” His eyes tracked the buildings that seemed to shoot up into the sky, the bright billboards that flashed on them. 

“No. Not really.” You said. 

“Keep me safe, then.” He grinned, squeezing your hand in his. 

“What do you want to drink?” You drummed your fingers against the bartop, eyes skimming the labels of the many bottles on display. The bartender stood before you, polishing a glass with little to no enthusiasm. “Highball?” 

“I can never look at whiskey again.” Javi groaned, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to forget the corny one-liners about whiskey he was forced to learn for the ad campaign. 

“Saké it is.” 

“Can I ask you what may be an invasive question?” He took a sip, relishing in the bite of warmth that travelled through his chest. 

“Ask away.” 

“Which hotel are you staying at? Or do you live here?” 

You burst into laughter. 

“God, you had me nervous. That’s not that invasive.” 

“Well, I don’t know!” He laughed, raising his eyebrows. “It might be invasive to someone.” 

“An invasive question is like…” You wracked your brain, and he tried not to fall in love with the pensive look that descended over your features. “What colour is your underwear?” 

“I’d tell you if I were wearing any.” 

You barked out an outraged laugh, making a show of pretending to shove him off his barstool.

“You’ve gone past invasive to gross, but I’ll let it slide. To answer your question, I’m staying at The Laurent.” 

His eyes widened, arm freezing in the middle of delivering his drink to his lips. “You’re kidding. That’s where I’m staying.”

You smiled, shrugging your shoulders. “Must be fate.” 

He stared into your eyes, finding it hard not to get lost in them. “Must be.” 

“We’ve been in that hotel for almost a month.” You sighed, exasperated. “But, I’ve been thinking of staying permanently. I’ve been looking for apartments. No luck so far.”

“We?” Javi asked, knowing he was teetering on the precipice of something, standing on the edge of a cliff. 

“Me, and my boyfriend.” You mumbled. His heart plumetted. Falling, falling. “Soon to be ex.” Soaring, soaring. Like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. “He doesn’t know I’m thinking of staying here. Without him. Am I the worst person in the world for not telling him that?” 

Am I the worst person in the world for being happy you’re dumping him? Javi thought. 

“Not at all.” Javi said. 

You may know him, actually.” You winced.

“I would?” Javi’s eyes widened in surprise. 

You muttered his name into Javi’s ear, and it took all he had not to shiver as your warm breath fanned across his cheek. 

“Dieter Bravo’s manager, right?” He said, registering the name. He pictured the last time he had met him, drunkenly waltzing around an afterparty with his arm around a woman who was definitely not you. “He’s… a character. At least you’re getting a free hotel room out of him.” 

You grinned.  “It’s a lovely hotel room, really. Spacious, especially when he’s out in meetings, or making calls to his ‘talent’.” You curled your fingers sarcastically. 

“You saying Dieter isn’t talented?” Javi chuckled. 

“Well, he’s not you.” 

The cans of coffee tumbled from within the vending machine, hitting the bottom with a loud thunk. 

You stooped down to grab them, handing one to Javi. The blue fluorescent square of light displaying the various canned drinks illuminated his profile, his honeyed brown eyes partially hidden by  shadow, his curls curving over his forehead in possibly the most endearing way known to man. 

“Do you get bored up there, when your soon-to-be-ex is out at meetings?” Javi asked, watching as you wicked condensation away from the can. He nodded toward your hotel from your spot in the parking lot. 

“Terribly.” You said, punctuating the word with the pop of the can’s tab as you cracked it open. 

“Give me your room number. If I’m ever going out, you can tag along. Translate for me.” He tried to disguise his nerves beneath a veneer of calm. 

“Hourly rate?” You smirked. 

“I could give you a cut of my ad campaign cash.” 

“10%?” 

“5%.”

“8%.” 

“5% and a lifetime supply of whiskey.” 

“Fuck it. Let’s make it pro bono.” 

“How kind.” He smirked, emboldened. “Now, what about that room number?”

You rifled through your bag, producing a marker from the cluttered depths. Plucking the cap off with your teeth, you scribbled the number on his palm.  

“1111.” He read aloud, cocking an eyebrow as he let out a chuckle. “You didn’t think I’d be able to remember that?” 

“I’ve just always wanted to do that. It’s like we’re in a movie.” 

The two of you laughed, the sound echoing into the quiet night. It was as if you were the only two people on earth. 

“1111.” He sighed, tracing a finger over your handwriting, etched into his skin. “An angel number.” 

“You believe in angels?” 

“‘Course I do. I’m talking to one right now.”

#i miss tokyo a lot. #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x you #pedro x reader #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #pedrostories #javi gutierrez #javier gutierrez #javi g x you #javi g x reader #javi g fanfiction #the unbearable weight of massive talent

[justreckin]

Can I just say? I love the way The Librarians shows that Eve is extremely competent.

The way she manages to slip away, catch all the enemy scouts, take them out, and still keep enough of an eye on her charges that she’s not even that disoriented when she steps out of the museum in the pilot

That she not only sends Ezekiel back to return the necklace he stole, she also notices and returns the other one he was trying to keep in the second episode

In fact, she pretty much always notices when Ezekiel is stealing without (her) permission

And I’m pretty sure he only steals from her once and considering how not surprised she is by this I’d venture to say she was aware of his actions even then

The way her steps are absolutely silent in the haunted house

The casual tracking in both And the Hollow Men and And the Fangs of Death

The fact that she’s the one to figure out how to handle a torpedo launch and run away sub in And the Rise in Chaos when that’s clearly not even her department

The casual fluency in several languages when shits just going down (that no one ever comments on???)

The fact that they always always always refer to her as Colonel

And that’s not even touching on her tactical/combat experience/ability because y’know, Guardian, kind of implied

#eve baird #the librarians #look this just #it makes me so happy #it would’ve been easy to just ignore her as the muscle #instead they show her so much respect #which is just #not at all what I’ve come to expect from basically anything that isn’t Star Trek #there’s a reason this show has immediately become a comfort show for me

[ros3ybabe]

Language Learning Goals 🎀

because I’m just starting out trying to re learn and familiarize myself with the Japanese language again, it was hard for me to think of current goals I might want to achieve, and what time frame I’d want to achieve them in. I think I will begin posting a monthly goals list because as I learn more of the language, my goals are definitely going to change. Right now I have my long term goals for Japanese and then some short term daily/monthly goals!

🌸 Long Term Japanese Goals -

conversational fluency - I want to be able to have comprehensible conversations with native Japanese speakers, and be able to understand what they say and also be able to speak the language myself

understand Japanese media - I want to be able to listen to music and watch Japanese YouTubers and Anime without subtitles

understand spoken/written Japanese - again, I want to be able to know what other people are saying in this beautiful language and also be able to read it to some extent.

My main goals long term are to travel to different parts of Japan in the coming future so being able to speak, understand, and read japanese are my biggest concerns but I’d also like to have that knowledge of writing the characters and knowing proper stroke order too, just for fun and education!

🌸 Daily Japanese Learning Goals -

Use one type of media as a passive learning tool (music, tv shows, YouTube, anime)

Study Flashcards 2-3 times (currently using my hiragana Flashcards I made on Anki)

Minimum of 2 Duolingo lessons

Practice writing the characters in an app (again, currently re learning hiragana)

1 other app lesson used as a supplemental learning tool (renshuu, Bunpo, LingoDeer, drops, etc)

My daily goals are a bit broad as this is typically what I want to do on a day to day basis for about a month of two, and then I will incorporate using textbooks, workbooks, notebooks, and really dive into the self studying and learning more structurally.

🌸 Monthly Japanese Goals (September) -

Memorize hiragana characters

Begin learning basic vocabulary (~30 vocabulary words by end of month)

Begin studying katakana characters (make Flashcards, use apps, etc)

Practicing speaking and pronunciation skills (shadow speak: use YouTube and some tv shows)

Practice realistic listening skills (YouTube videos, tv shows, anime)

Purchase Genki I and Genki II workbook and textbook + Answer Key and chart bundle

Kept a minimum of a 7 - 10 day streak on Duolingo

Joined Japanese club at my university

These are my current goals for the month of September! As the weeks continue, i will assess my progress and build new monthly goals depending on my current progress levels. I’m really excited to be doing this and sharing this journey with everyone. The biggest thing about why I made this blog the way I did was to keep myself accountable for my goals and that is exactly what I plan on doing; reaching my goals!

I so deeply appreciate the encouragement and support you all show me on a consistent basis! It means so much to have this community to keep me accountable and just help keep me on track with my goals but also remind me to be kind to myself! You guys are absolutely amazing <3

Im gonna post a combined daily update for today and yesterday later tonight!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

***also, wanted to mention, none of the pictures I use are my own!!! I get them from Pinterest but I use them in my posts to keep me motivated to make my space and aesthetic in real life as similar as possible!

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self development #self love #wonyoungism #health & fitness #it girl #mental health #physical health #language tips #language learning tips #foreign languages #language learning goals #langblr #language learning #languages #learn japanese tips #japanese language learning tips #japanese #language resources #language #study tumblr #college studyblr #college study tips #pink academia #pink blog #pink aesthetic #studyblr community #studyblr

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

as a former gifted kid who just realised that they're not as "gifted" as they were told they were, who had to rely on their "natural" ability to understanding lessons, which in turn led to them never forming actual study habits, who is barely hanging by a thread with their academics and is honestly just completely lost and don't know what the hell they're doing most of the time..... please spare us some advice sloot on how you were able to learn how to properly study and recover from the burnout 😭 (if that' okay with you. Hope you enjoyed ur day today and tomorrow!!)

Well I think it depends on what you're studying and struggling with, but I'll give you the advice that helped me

Apps/programs like Anki help you remember and incorporate frequency training, so you don't learn everything at once and overwhelm yourself. I use flashcards for the bulk of my language studies.

For Japanese, I use Bunpro because I love its grammar lesson setup and again, it incorporates frequency training. I use Anki for Kanji and sentences in Russian and Japanese and I'm doing a little Italian for funsies.

For languages in particular, immerse yourself as much as possible in the language. Films, podcasts, YouTubers, tv shows, music, as long as it's in the language and ideally without subtitles if you want to be based and challenge yourself. Babies and kids learn fast because their brains are still forming connections, but ALSO because they hear the language constantly. Also, THINK in your target language. First you'll think smth in your native language, and then if you can, try to convert it to your target language. It'll be slow at first but the more you do it, the better you'll get.

For grammar, drills are inevitable. They're boring as fuck but translation and grammar practice are impossible to memorize any other way imo.

For math...get a tutor and drill the fuck out of your formulas, or find someone who specializes in math bc I don't lmao.

Instead of studying with multiple choice examples, to really learn turn it into a freeform question. Because multiple choice and testing well does not equal learning, and if you're in college you are there ideally bc you want to LEARN. You can combine flashcards to memorize important key bits. For example, let's say you need to study for an intro psychology exam. Your flashcards for psychoanalysis can have questions like: why is psychoanalysis a significant subject in the history of psychology? (with the answer card having bullet points like: laid foundation for modern therapy, emphasized subconscious's role in the mind, trauma, psychosexual relationship, id/ego/superego as "map" of the mind). If you can answer and bring up at least two or three of these points, you have a good understanding of the material.

Pretend you're teaching someone else the subject you're studying. I swear to god, I would pretend I was tutoring my f/os and I would even talk to the babies at my daycare job about what I was studying in Japanese that week. I would teach my dogs and my fish and my snails. As long as you're talking out loud, you're making yourself summarize the thing you're studying and realize what you need to work on. If you can explain it in simple terms to someone who knows nothing about it, you've studied it enough.

Use a Pomodoro timer to give yourself small breaks. Also it's nice to use apps like Forest or just an Excel sheet to track how much you study each day. Like I wanted to track how much I study languages, so I made an Excel sheet to track how many minutes I study since there are some general estimates of how many hours of studying it takes to reach higher levels of fluency in certain languages. Plus it helps me stay motivated to see how much I've studied each month.

On that note, ten minutes of studying is better than zero minutes. Instead of beating yourself up for not studying an hour or more, or even thirty minutes, make time to do small study sessions frequently.

If you're studying Japanese in particular or another language with a writing system you need to memorize like kanji, you NEED to divide your study time writing or else you will get overwhelmed. Like grab a kanji workbook, and pick one to work on. Write it a few times on a practice sheet or the practice spaces in the workbook, then go do something else for ten or twenty minutes. Then go back and do more kanji. The whole point is to frequently write the character so that you develop muscle memory and can remember the basic stroke order.

Don't make your notes pretty, make them useful. I love color coding so much but you need it to work to your advantage. Like I personally do blue for titles, red for important key info (usually just underlining in red or adding a little red star).

Don't be afraid to get stupid, because stupid silliness helps you remember. You know I know the Russian word for fish (it's рыба, or "reeba")? Because in my flashcards for beginner Russian, I made a shitty Microsoft Paint edit of Reba Mcentire's head on a stock photo of a fish. If it helps you remember, it helps you remember.

#sloot's essays

[rpgsandbox]

MCDM’s first original game, a new Heroic Fantasy RPG from the folks who brought you;

Strongholds & Followers

Kingdoms & Warfare

The Illrigger

The Beastheart

The Talent

Flee, Mortals!

Where Evil Lives

Comes a brand new game, built from the ground up to give you a better system for running a better game.

Xorannox, The Tyract Lord Syuul

A Fantasy RPG where your character starts, at level 1, already a hero. Maybe even locally famous! You might meet in a tavern, or start in the middle of the action! 

Whether you’re a group of local heroes sent to investigate mysterious goings-on in the nearby haunted wood, or famous mercenaries plotting and scheming in the big city, the MCDM RPG makes building adventures and fighting monsters fun.

Basically, any adventure or story you’re running in your current Fantasy RPG, you can do that in this game. Just, in a more straightforward and fun way, unburdened by sacred cows from the 1970s.

You can absolutely run epic games with heroes exploring dungeons, but this game is not about dungeoncrawling. You don’t track torches or rations or worry about running out of light.

You can plunge, heedless of danger, into a dark and haunted forest, but this game is not about exploration. No hexes to explore.

By focusing on the core fantasy of epic heroes fighting monsters and tyranny, we think we can deliver a better experience for your friends and your table.

Fighting monsters in this game is a dynamic, action-oriented blast. Heroes and monsters often have abilities that knock their opponents into walls, through doors, into each other. 

Every hero has a small array of cool, thematic abilities they can use every round. You gain resources in this game as you play, so battles get more epic as they go. No slog.

The game uses 2d6, plus a handful of d4s and d8s. When you attack, you roll 2d6, add one of your attributes, and that is how much damage you do. Your attack roll IS your damage roll. 

You cannot miss. No more wasted turns, no more burning resources on spells only for your target to “save.”

Lady Morgant Lord Saxton

We love fighting monsters! But there’s more to the game than that!

Certain NPCs can be negotiated with to get them to change their allegiance or reconsider their actions. (Technically, ANY npc can be negotiated with but there’s usually only one per adventure) These NPCs have stats like Patience and Interest. 

We also plan on rules for Research & Crafting to let players unlock ancient secrets and build wonderous marvels. 

We have ideas for how to make language fluency relevant, better rules for wealth, renown. But it’s unknown how much of that we can fit in a 400 page rulebook.

full resolution - What is this game?

full resolution - Building A Heroic Narrative

full resolution - Tactician

full resolution - Dwarves

full resolution - Revenants

full resolution - Forced Movement

full resolution - Kits

full resolution - Necromancer

We are funding two books!

Heroes Basically, The Rulebook. Approximately 400 pages of rules for making characters, character customization, advancement. There’ll be ancestries (classic and new!), classes, skills, rules for combat, negotiation, research & crafting, and more!

We really like customizing characters and giving players lots of options. Even two heroes of the same class and ancestry can be very different in this game.

Monsters A monster book! Basically, Flee, Mortals! without the Villain Parties or Environments. MOST of the monsters in our 5E monster book, plus all the stuff we had to cut, and a bunch of new stuff!

You’ll also get rules for building balanced (or deliberately unbalanced depending on how much trouble your players have gotten into) encounters.

We’ve been testing and developing this game internally for almost a year now, but that was just the folks at the office and our friends. The first packet went to our Contract Testers back in August and have been pounding on it ever since.

The game is already working and it’s already fun! For the next 18 months we’ll be adding more classes, ancestries, progression, customization, and rewards.

We take testing very seriously. We want to make books that are fun to read, full of great ideas for your world and your game, and fun to play and that takes time. Polish, iteration, and lots of testing.

You do not need to take our work for it, come to the Discord and talk to them directly, or join a future playtest.

We think we can get these two PDFs finished by June of 2025, but we don’t think you’ll have to wait that long to play it.

If things go well, we intend to get you, our backers, a playtest packet sometime next year, hopefully by Q2 2024. 

We intend to publish this game under an open license, probably something like the Shadowdark license, because we want you, and anyone who wants to, to make, share, publish their own work using these rules and set in this world.

We hope, by the time the PDF exists, folks will not only have been playing this game for months, they’ll be making, sharing, selling their own original works using this material.

Lord Kenway Pinna

Backerkit campaign ends: Jan 5, 2024 at 8:01am GMT

Website: [MCDM Productions] [facebook] [twitter] [instagram] [youtube] [discord]

#RPG #backerkit #MCDM RPG #MCDM Productions #Matt Colville

[the-expired-tofu]

The Devil's Trumpets | Pt. 5

|| A 'The Glory' fanfic || MINORS DNI [18+]

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a/n: Hey there, this is my first time writing a fan fiction. I might change a few things in my fictions later on. Also, my English isn't my first language so my writing might lack some fluency. Hope you enjoy :)

trigger warnings: lots of swearing, bullying, murder, gore, depression, abuse, mature content, violence, sexual themes.

pairing: reader x multi

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Moon Dong-Eun

I’ve been a great help to Y/N for quite many days. I finished tutoring Min-hee and helped her get into the Semyeong Elementary School. On the other hand, I helped Y/N move into her new apartment. After finishing helping her settle, I got her the job at the convenience store. The old lady was really nice and that she told us that she was in need of another helper since she couldn’t handle everything all alone. All the supplies for the school and the transportation services were done by me.

After everything was done, I brought Y/N to my apartment. She was caught off-guard due to all the pictures of them attached to the walls in front of her.

“You did quite the research, didn’t you? You weren’t kidding back then when you told me you tracked each and every step they took,” she said as she slowly approached a picture of the group together in their teens. She was reading the sticky notes that I attached on some of the pictures when she saw a polaroid of her when she was young, followed by few other pictures of her from the current time, along with her niece. She also saw a few photos of her families before and after they separated. She stood in front of those and rubbed her finger gently on an image of a girl I believe was her sister.

“You didn’t leave me out as well,” she said as she turned around to meet my eyes. “I have every reason to be mad at you, Dong-eun, but at the same time, I don’t. I can simply report you to the police for stalking me and immediately put an end to your years’ effort, but at the same time, I can’t. I can easily walk out of this place and quit participating in your plan, but I don’t wish to. Because I trust you, Moon Dong-Eun. Not only am I risking my own life, but also Min-hee’s life. Once they find out about her, they will use her against me as my weakness. So make sure you prove me wrong and help us not get caught.”

After hearing those words from her, that’s when I knew I did the right thing involving her in this. She’s aware of the environment she’s getting herself into and knows how to take the necessary precautions, and not just an airhead with the lust for revenge.

“I knew you would feel this way once you notice those pictures. But I couldn’t help it either. When we were in school, you never bought a cell-phone for yourself. So it was quite difficult to track you down.”

“I would rather call it stalking than tracking down, Dong-eun,” she said as she turned away from me to look back at those images. I couldn’t say anything since she made a fair point. But I didn’t have any other choice either.

“I don’t recognize her. Who’s she?” She points out to a picture of Hyeon-nam.

“That’s Kang Hyeon-nam. She works for me as my assistant. She’s the one who helped me land the job as a homeroom teacher. She’s also the one who ‘stalked’ you.”

“Huh, interesting,” she said as she removed her finger from the picture and placed her hands inside her pockets. “I would like to get to know her.”

“You will when the time is right.”

I walk towards the kitchen as she moves from the wall to the window, her eyes never taking it off of those images.

I placed a small security camera at the top shelf in my kitchen, making it unnoticeable, and connected it with my phone. I took out another small box that contained another security camera and handed it to Y/N.

“There’s a possibility of them finding out about our address once they get to know about our plans. So take this, and install this somewhere where nobody will notice it. And don’t be surprised when one of them or all of them enters your house when nobody’s there.”

“Alright,” she takes it from my hand and puts it back into her satchel.

“Come on, let’s go to the roof.”

“The roof?”

“Yeah, I want to show you something.”

“Okay,” she walks past me towards my door. I unlock the door open as she busies herself in putting her shoes back on. As we got outside, I locked it behind me and walked towards the elevator. 

We got inside the elevator and pushed the button to go upwards.

“Did you get the invitation for the Alumni Awards?”

“Sorry, what?”

“The Alumni Awards ceremony at Sung-han High. It’s in a few days.”

“Oh yeah maybe I did. I haven’t checked it yet.”

“Am thinking of going.”

“Wait, they’re going to be there too, wouldn’t they?”

“Yes. You need to come as well.”

“What’s the use? We aren’t even getting any awards?”

“It’s not about awards, Y/N, it’s a game of intimidation.”

She kept staring at me as if I said something illegal that deserves life in prison. We didn’t talk for a while.

The elevator came to an abrupt halt and the doors slowly opened before us. We stepped outside and climbed few more stairs to finally get to the roof.

It was a beautiful evening with the sun just setting, the color of the sky a perfect hue of flame. We came near the edge that overlooked the houses that stretched far beyond our vision. The tall buildings at far distances created just the flawless silhouette I’ve ever witnessed. Everything about Semyeong just felt so beautiful at the moment. I never took some time for myself to appreciate how exquisite this place this. The ordeals I faced here, never actually gave me any time to appreciate anything about my life.

“You see the house there?” I points to the one nearby.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“That’s where Yeon-jin lives.”

The perfect moment she was in immediately faded when she heard her name.

“That’s where she lives?”

“Yes. Ha Ye-sol, Ha Do-yeong, Park Yeon-jin, all under the same roof.”

She looked at me with her bewildered eyes, a face of the scared.

“But-then why did you buy this apartment? Wont they find out easily?”

“Not so easily Y/N, she has no clue whatsoever. She still thinks that she can get away with anything. She never learns.”

She looks back at the house. The lights on the road and inside the house lit up as it got darker. We didn’t talk for a while. The sun had set a while ago. Everything is just happening so fast, it’s making me feel overwhelmed, but I didn’t think of telling that to Y/N, otherwise she would be scared too, almost like how a mother deep down feels scared for their children but acts like there’s nothing wrong, just for them to not get scared.

It’s been my dream, for so many years, to stand here and watch over all of them, behaving as if they did absolutely nothing wrong, as if, they can get away with anything they want. Little do they know, that am right here, right in front of them, to prove them wrong.

“The day I dropped out from Sung-han High, I went to meet them, at the gym.”

She removed her hands from the edge and turned to look at me.

“What?”

“Yes. That day, I felt something new, some kind of new change in myself, something a bit evil.”

“Evil?”

“Yes. Almost like, the end of their reign, but a beginning of my hell.”

“What happened that day?”

“That day, was the only day I entered the gym voluntarily. Nobody forcibly dragged me there, I went in completely on my own. I remember so clearly, as I walked in, Hye-jeong started walking away from me, as if she was scared of me. But I ignored her, and went straight to Yeon-jin, sitting at her usual place. The weirdest part is, we talked about our dreams.”

“Dreams?”

“Yeah, they submitted their “dreams” at Cyworld, and I read all of them, told them about those that day. Yeon-jin dreamt of becoming a wise mother and a wife, Choi Hye-jeong dreamt of becoming a stewardess, Jeon Jae-joon wanted to own the golf course, and Lee Sa-ra dreamt of being an artist. Obviously, they asked me about my dream as well.”

“So what did you say then?”

“Yeon-jin,” I said with a pause. “I told her that she was my dream, and that I really wish to meet her again.”

“So all of our dreams finally came true.”

“Indeed. And I wish to bring them to their knees and show them no mercy.”

She turned around to look at me again, but I didn’t. I haven’t taken my eyes off of that house.

“Does Ha Do-yeong have the slightest idea that he married a monster?”

“He doesn’t, but he will soon. And so will Ha Ye-sol. I wish to isolate her to the point that the people she holds dear, the ones who covered up her crimes, will give up on her. Soon then she will feel like the only human on this planet, she would become completely transparent. All of her crimes and secrets will show up and she will rot in hell. Nobody will ever even think, of helping her. You can never change a monster, Y/N, never.”

She stares at me for a while and then looks away. The air was filled with aroma of the potted plants behind us.

“Do you wanna know what Myeong-oh’s dream was?”

“What?”

“To become rich.”

She began eyeing me from the side when we burst into laughters. When was the last time I laughed like this?

We took a breather to stop ourselves from more laughing. It was quite hilarious how Myeong-oh dreamt of becoming rich yet here he is, working as Jae-joon’s lackey.

“Alright then. I guess I’ll see you on the awards day.”

“Yeah.”

We went back the same way we came to the roof. Climbed down the little flight of stairs and got into an elevator to the ground floor.

I saw her out and got her a cab. As I went up to my apartment, I was thinking of how I could have told her about the meeting I had with Myeong-oh few days ago. I will tell her when the timing is right. I bribed him enough to keep him in suspense—he will also be the one to know who murdered Yoon So-hee, hopefully.

************************************************************************

Pt. 6 will be out soon

#korean drama #the glory #the glory kdrama #the glory netflix #moon dong eun #park yeon jin #jeon jae joon #son myeong oh #choi hye jeong #joo yeojeong #ha do yeong #kdrama #kdrama fanfic #glory x reader #x reader #reader x moon dong eun #y/n x moon dong eun #reader x park yeon jin #y/n x park yeon jin #reader x jeon jae joon #y/n x jeon jae joon #reader x lee sa ra #y/n x lee sa ra #reader x son myeong oh #y/n x son myeong oh #reader x choi hye jeong #y/n x choi hye jeong #reader x joo yeo jeong #y/n x joo yeo jeong #reader x ha do yeong

[rxgirlie]

The Girl Next Door part VI

Pairing: Jeryd Mencken x OFC

Warnings: sexual content, dubious content, age gap, alcohol consumption, mentions of drug use, affairs, my improper use of commas.

A/N: alright alright alright, we’re getting into the thick of things. Thanks to @vivalafae and @runningwiththefoxes for their spiritual guidance. Still shocked so many of y’all have stuck around this long! Love you allllll xo

WC: 2964

For the next two days, we kept our distance. I imagined I had frightened him off with my intensity. My propensity to feel things so deeply had spilled over from my brooding teenage years, maring my early twenties like ink bleeding from one page to the next.

“Have you always been so sullen?” He asked later on that second day when I stared at him blankly from my seat across from him at his dining room table.

A simple text from him had pulled me to my feet and towards his back door. Mistresses don’t use the front door, I told myself. Pavlov would’ve loved me. Freud would’ve had a field day with me.

“Have you ever had an affair before?”

He shook his head, laughing sarcastically as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Curiosity killed the cat, Olive.”

“But satisfaction brought it back, Jeryd.”

“No,” he sighed, “you’re my first.”

“That doesn’t make you feel any better, though, does it?”

I shook my head.

“It’s hard to believe a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.” I said, wondering where this place of courage and effortless fluency was coming from.

“Be that as it may, I have no reason to lie to you.” He offered, continuing on as he searched my face, “Do you want to be my wife, Olive? Is that what this is about?”

I shook my head at him. “You mistake my guilt and curiosity as flattery.”

“I could tell you everything about me and that still wouldn’t change the fact that I’m married, Olive.”

“I know.”

_________________________________________

“I can’t believe you’re trying to pull off this whole ‘I don’t care’ thing. You care. Big time.”

I stopped in my tracks, slamming the filing cabinet closed as I glowered at him.

I had been silent since seeing him again. Existing in the space of professionalism, treading lightly for fear my emotions might disrupt the status quo two days away had provided.

He smiled at me from his spot behind his desk.

“You’re right, maybe I do care,” I stepped closer to him as his eyes glimmered with the satisfaction of knowing what I was about to unleash on him.

“Maybe I’m curious and maybe I feel guilty. Maybe I am sullen. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that you long to elicit these types of reactions from me,” I stepped closer to his desk, feeling my breath hitch as he ran a lone finger across the hem of my skirt, “That this entire thing is just a game to you. One that I will eventually get tired of playing.”

I leaned down closer to him and looked directly into his eyes.

“I can leave, Jeryd. But you can’t. You’re stuck in a marriage and a mortgage,”

He stood up to his full height, smiling down at me devilishly as I willed myself to continue, “You’re stuck here in hell right along with me and if you want to continue to play this fucking game with me, this sick cat and mouse, emotional foreplay extravaganza we’re dancing through, then you need to recognize that everything is personal with you. That you’ve made it that way.”

“You don’t look at someone the way you look at me without it being personal.” My voice was small as I backed away from him, grabbing my bag and coffee cup off the windowsill before making my way to exit his classroom.

A few quick strides and he had me trapped between him and the classroom door. He remained silent, his eyes boring holes into mine as he grabbed my face roughly and kissed me.

Despite all my efforts to remain composed, I became pliant under his hands. That’s a theme with me, after all, one my therapist would gnash into years down the road.

The sound of my heels scuffing rhythmically against the gritty linoleum as he bent me over his desk was enough cause for him to hoist me up onto the desk, climb on top of me, and fuck me like he would never see me again, like he was scared I might disappear.

His disregard for consequences, the pleasure he derived from my turmoil, and little regard for my idle threats made me cum harder than I ever had before.

_________________________________________

After his second class of the day, he found me sitting in the cafeteria, flanked by a group of students, all male, ranging from tall to short.

One in particular, a lean brunette on the shorter end of the spectrum with long brown hair, stared at me with such intensity that I had to hold back laughter each time he looked at me.

“I play guitar in a band,” he said as he sipped his Arizona tea, “You should come check us out one day.”

He crunched a chip and upped the ante.

“I can give you my number.”

I nodded along and smiled awkwardly, making eye contact with Jeryd as he sipped his coffee, one hand tucked in his pocket, relishing in my torment as I squirmed and looked for an out.

The rest of the group stared blankly at me and I wondered if I needed to get up and do some sort of trick with the expectant looks covering their faces.

I sighed in relief as I saw Jeryd making a beeline for the table.

“Hey everybody,” he clapped his hand on my shoulder and I turned around to look up at him, “Can I borrow Liv for a second?

“Of course,” the guitarist smiled up at us as I stood and collected my things, but being the pain in the ass he seemed to be, he had to ask questions.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Us?” I glanced over at Jeryd, “Professor Mencken has been a friend of my family’s for years. Almost like an uncle to me. He agreed to let me come help out with things given my affinity for all things political.”

“Yep,” Jeryd stepped over to stand next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “She’s a good egg.”

He guided me through the labyrinth mazes of the cafeteria, out a side door, and into an outdoor corridor connecting the cafeteria with a breezy courtyard.

“‘A good egg’?” I scoffed up at him, walking quickly to keep up with his brisk pace.

“‘Almost like an uncle to me’?” He mimicked my disgust. “Now that was personal.”

_________________________________________

As if things weren’t already personal and confusing enough, I ran into him and his mother at the beach the next day.

It was low tide that day. Heather and I had made plans to scour the sand for sea glass and any sort of trinkets she could incorporate into the nautical theme at The Marina.

What I didn’t predict, however, was Heather blowing me off last minute, leaving me feeling somewhat desolate and unlikable, not taking into account how many times I’d blown her off over the course of a week so I could pine for my neighbor.

I dug my feet deeper into the sand, twiddling the strap of my bikini top between my forefinger and thumb as my other hand waded blindly across the sand. I laid there as the clouds unfurled themselves to me, their formations pillowy and soft, doing my best to decipher their shapes as they drifted by.

Suddenly, my vision was occluded by patchy shades of brown and black. I sat up quickly, coming face to face with the biggest fucking dog I had ever seen in my life. A Doberman, the size of a miniature pony, licked a clean stripe from my mouth to the bridge of my nose. It sat back on its heels and looked at me with the same confusion I was looking at it with.

“He doesn’t bite.” A familiar voice rang out behind me.

I reached my hand out cautiously and the dog, whose bone shaped tag read ‘Jackson’, licked the tips of my fingers curiously.

“My mom’s dog,” He told me, motioning back to where his mother struggled to walk in the sand due to the height of her wedged sandals.

“He doesn’t bite!” She called out to me.

“Yeah, she got the memo,” He looked down at me as if to say “shoot me, please,” and I smiled up at him.

I stood up, dusting the sand off of my shoulders and shorts as his mother finally came wobbling up to us.

She glanced up and down at my figure, seemingly appraising me, before she spoke, “Aren’t you a dish?”

“Thanks?” I laughed nervously. I could feel my cheeks turning red.

Once again, Jeryd’s eyes widened and he sighed heavily through flared nostrils.

“Jill Mencken,” she offered her hand as her caftan billowed in the breeze.

“Liv Luciano.” We shook hands. She seemed to be trying to figure me out.

“This is Jackson,” she reached down and cooed to the dog who ate it up, “Jeryd’s brother.”

Jeryd, again, looked as if he would rather be anywhere but there at that moment.

“I definitely see the resemblance.”

She swatted Jeryd’s shoulder. “And she’s funny!”

“Why don’t you walk with us?” She offered and my brain went on the defensive, listing every reason why that shouldn’t occur.

“Oh, I couldn’t intrude,” I offered, my attention falling to Jackson to be my buffer at that moment. I scratched behind his ears and he rolled into the sand, rutting back and forth, happily making a mess of his surroundings and perfectly manicured coat.

“If I had done that as a child, she would’ve given me away.” Jeryd looked over at me, giving me a knowing look, easing me out of my mind for a moment.

“I insist,” Jill grabbed my hand, using me as support as her chunky heels disappeared into the sand with each uneven step. I turned around to look at Jeryd as he waited for Jackson to comply and walk along with us.

Eventually, at Jeryd’s insistence, his mother abandoned her shoes, leaving me to walk along the shore at my own pace without her balancing act quite literally dragging me down. She trudged behind, stopping altogether to scoop up a few shells as Jeryd and I continued to walk slowly, side by side.

“She’s fun,” I looked over at him as he nodded.

“She’s, uh, something.” We both turned back to watch as she yelled something about a particular shell she had found.

“Can you swing a few days out of town this weekend?”

We began to walk forward, inching our way back towards the parking lot and adjoining playground.

He leaned forward abruptly, swiping his hand across the exposed part of my stomach, catching me off guard.

“Well, I was going to go with Heather to an art exhibit in the city.”

“Tell her you’ll be busy until Monday.”

“Sounds like a pretty personal thing for you to ask me to do, Jeryd.” I commented, watching as his signature smirk pulled at his lips.

_________________________________________

Jill insisted that I go to lunch with them and that I chose the restaurant. She also insisted that I sit up front with Jeryd, opting to occupy the backseat, holding onto Jackson lovingly as he stuck his head out the window.

“She loves the dog more than me,” He murmured, looking over at me briefly before turning back to the road.

“I do not,” she interjected, playfully smacking at Jeryd’s shoulder, “Don’t listen to him, Liv.”

Seeing him like this, in a dynamic with his mother that was familiar to me, made me feel like I knew him a little better. A glimpse into his life, the one that existed outside of the bounds of our entanglement, provided me with a sliver of hope. Hope for what, I didn’t know, but I felt hopeful nonetheless.

I chose Mirabelle’s, a restaurant adjoined to one of the original inns Stony Brook boasted, mainly so Jackson could join us on the outdoor patio.

I was never a big dog person, but watching Jeryd being walked by a literal miniature horse through the old historic district made me think I could be a dog person. Every few steps, Jackson would jerk him forward and he would scoff in the middle of whatever he was talking about, causing me to bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing at how worked up he was over something so small.

“Your dog is an asshole,” He turned around and glared at his mother, causing her to pat his shoulder affectionately.

“Takes one to know one, honey.” She quipped.

Lunch with the two of them was easier than I expected. At first, at least. The conversation took on different topics such as the weather, Jackson’s obedience school progress, Jeryd’s students, and his brother’s upcoming wedding. I happily took the seat of the neutral observer as the two of them chatted idly, occasionally breaking off a piece of rye bread to share with Jackson, who rested between mine and Jeryd’s feet.

It was easy to see the resemblance between mother and son once they were so close to one another. Their flamboyant hand gestures when speaking, the shape of their eyes, the same pale blue irises. They spoke the same way, with that witty, sharp banter.

She turned the conversation to me once she was done catching up with Jeryd, inquiring about what I did for a living, where I had grown up, and what I planned to do after law school. All the while throwing in a casual, “you’re so young and full of life. I was the same way when I was your age,” or “my god, I’d kill to have your skin. I quite literally mean I would kill for that elasticity.”

Between the compliments and inquiries, I would catch her staring at me from the corner of my eye. There was no contempt or malice behind her eyes, more so a curiosity of sorts evident in the way her eyes would bounce from my face to Jeryd’s as he and I spoke casually to one another about a new book I had started reading.

“Do you drink?” Jill asked as she perused the alcoholic beverage menu.

“Usually not before seven PM,” I smiled at her, “but they do have fantastic mimosas here.”

“Mimosas, ah,” she fawned, “A girl after my own heart!”

Jeryd pinched the bridge of his nose and audibly made a noise of discontent.

“I’m not driving Miss Daisy all day for you two sots.”

“Oh, please,” she waved her hand in the air while her other hand dug deep down into the confines of her Birkin bag, “it’s going to take more than a few mimosas to keep me down.”

“Said every alcoholic ever,” He mused with an eye roll.

I watched as she pulled a silver cigarette case from her bag. Her initials emblazoned across the side in deep crimson jewels.

“You smoke?” She asked as she slid a cigarette from the case, struck a match, and lit it, dousing the remaining flame in the remnants of her drink.

“I don’t.”

“Well, you’ll start if you keep hanging out with this one.” She motioned over to Jeryd.

“She’s on a roll today,” he grabbed his drink, eyeing me over the rim of the glass. “Smoking and drinking at lunch. Maybe she will smoke some opium at dinner.”

“Always with the dramatics,” she rolled her eyes at him, “Don’t take it so personally that I want to live the remainder of my life happily.”

“Yeah, Jeryd,” I leaned back in my seat and eyed him cooly, “don’t take it so personally.”

She smiled at me, tilting her head as she followed my eyeline across the table to Jeryd’s, obviously very happy to have someone on her side.

Once the second round of drinks were served and I sipped contentedly on my mimosa, Jeryd excused himself, disappearing into The Inn’s indoor dining room.

Jill turned to me, looked me dead in the eye, and asked, “How long have you two been fucking?”

I nearly choked on my mimosa. I sputtered and felt my face flush hot, covering my mouth with the cloth napkin I had placed over my lap

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head, “What?”

“I’m certainly not blind.” Her face remained blank of any emotion.

“Um, it’s not like that at all,” I wasn’t convincing her. Convincing a grand jury would have been a smaller feat.

“Have things been peaceful next door since she’s been gone?” She asked with careful disdain laced in her cadence. I was taken aback, quite literally clueless as to what she was asking, or rather, what she was implying.

“His wife,” she offered and I shook my head.

“I don’t know. She hasn’t been home since I’ve been back.”

“She runs away when they fight.” She shook her head and drained her glass in one go. “Right back to mommy and daddy when she doesn’t get her way.”

“It’s okay,” she reassured me, “Your secret is safe with me.”

“I don’t have a secret.”

“We all have a secret.” She gave me a knowing look.

I glanced longingly at the door Jeryd had walked through, silently willing him to come back to the table.

“I was Jeryd’s father’s second wife,” she told me, “They always get it right the second time around.”

She didn’t have time to expand on that before Jeryd reappeared, reclaiming his seat next to me. I ate in silence once the food was served, Jill’s words bouncing around my brain like a warped soundtrack. Whatever they spoke about after that was hazy and untuned to me as I focused on what possibilities might come my way given the newfound circumstances that had been brought to light.

Tag list: @aurorag98

#jeryd mencken x oc #jeryd mencken fic #jeryd mencken fanfiction #jeryd mencken x ofc #jeryd mencken x original female character #jeryd mencken #justin kirk

[goodgriefnd]

Neurodevelopmental Disorders

[image id: poster of "Neurodevelopmental Disorders." There are 6 boxes, each with a heading of a different neurodevelopmental disorder and an overview of it written in Open Dyslexic font. Full transcript under the cut]

From top to bottom going left to right it reads:

"Intellectual Developmental Disorder (IDD): An intellectual disability is a condition that affects a person’s mental abilities, such as how they think, learn, and solve problems, and can cause difficulties with everyday tasks and meeting societal expectations for independence."

"Communication Disorders: Communication disorders are conditions that affect a person’s ability to use language, speech, and social communication skills. These disorders can include problems with language, speech sounds, and the way a person communicates with others. They can also include difficulties with the fluency and rhythm of speech, such as stuttering."

"Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): Autism is a condition that affects how a person communicates and interacts with others. It is characterised by difficulties and differences in social communication and interaction, and by restricted and repetitive behaviours and interests. The range of support needs varies significantly between autistic individuals, and can be impacted on by co-occurring conditions."

"Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): ADHD is a condition that affects a person’s ability to pay attention, be organised, and control their impulses. People with ADHD may have trouble staying focused, listening, or keeping track of things. They may also be very active or have trouble sitting still and may interrupt others or act impulsively. It is important to note that the hyperactivity component can be internalised and people with ADHD may feel very overwhelmed internally without showing this externally."

"Motor Disorders: Motor disorders are conditions that affect a person’s movement and control of their muscles. This includes problems with coordinating movements, repetitive behaviours, and tics. For example, Developmental Co-ordination Disorder impacts upon an individual’s ability to plan and process information, turn thoughts into action, and navigate fine and gross motor skills, which means they may seem clumsy. Tic disorders includes Tourette’s disorder, which is when a person has multiple motor and vocal tics.."

"Specific Learning Disorders (SpLDs): SpLDs refers to conditions like dyslexia and dyscalculia. It is a condition that impacts upon how an individual learns certain academic skills, such as reading, writing, and mathematics. It typically appears during the school years and is characterised by persistent difficulties with these skills that are not due to intellectual disability or other conditions.”

#neurodiversity #neurodiverse stuff #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #actually autistic #actually audhd #autism #audhd #adhd #dyspraxia #disability #disabilties #neurodevelopmental #intellectual disability #communication disorder #stuttering #asd #motor disorders #dcd #actually dyspraxic #dyspraxic #tics #tourettes #splds #dyslexia #dyscalculia #dysgraphia

[melrosing]

What kind of fashion do you think Jaime would be into? And also Brienne :)

jaime is COMPLEX because I think in canon he absolutely has an awareness of fashion and ~quality attire~ hence the fancy matching outfits with Cers/the get up he wears at Darry/the golden hand with the pearl fucking fingernails etc etc. but he also seems like the kind of character who is most comfortable in practical clothing - he's just aware that stylish/expensive clothing is a big part of presenting Lannister with a capital L and so he's grown up with fluency in fashion.

but like tbh Jaime is not all that vain - pretty unbothered at the idea of shaving his head in ASOS and honestly has barely thought about his appearance in all his adult life except as relates to Cersei. he's more someone to dress up for others than for himself. so, left to his own devices.... in a modern AU i do genuinely think he would mostly be wandering around in gym gear. he would have expensive outfits that are kind of fancy in a 'tasteful wealth' way (i know in canon the Lannisters dress quite outlandishly but I think comparably rich families these days [think maybe the Roys of Succession lol] would prefer to wear it in a more 'subtle' way) but if he's not at Lannister functions he would genuinely probably just be wearing tracks.

Brienne also wears gym gear everywhere but I think is also a fan of big knitwear.

#ask #asoiaf #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #sorry this was sitting in my inbox a couple days!

[vergess]

you seem like a good person with genuinely nice intentions- i also find it really awful when people go "dont bully people because they COULD be autistic" instead of just saying "don't bully people." the idea that someone hates me, or thinks im cringe, but chooses not to be rude to me because i seem autistic to them is way more hurtful than them just bullying me... (obviously the ideal is for them to never bully anyone) and the argument that we shouldn't bully individuals with "childlike/cringe" interests because they might be autistic is really infantalizing, because it assumes that autism and having "childlike/cringe" interests are interlinked when i don't really think that's the case. (using childlike/cringe in quotes because i don't really believe any interests are childlike or cringe, just those are common descriptors used by people). again, you seem like you have really nice intentions, and i'm pretty sure we all agree, bullying is bad, it should never happen, but the idea of not bullying someone because they could be autistic is just harmful to the autistic community + doesn't stop bullying. have a wonderful night, im sorry for sending you an ask <3 im sure you'll get some hate so i wish you the best

Look, you also seem nice. You're the last ask that slid in under the wire before I turned them off completely due to the mass harassment.

That means you sent this before all the submissions and DMs once I turned asks off, where people started getting really fucking nasty. I am trying very hard not to hold those people against you, but it has been a long fucking day.

So, I'm trying my best here to be patient and kind when I write this essay, instead of just blocking or reporting you. You seem like you might be willing to listen. Even if you're not, your message makes a good starting point for me.

Because I have two major problems here.

1: Autism absolutely correlates with preferring media aimed at younger audiences.

This is not universal, and it's not because we're ~stupid~. It's nothing to do with """"mental age"""" or whatever trashfire talking points you've heard. You may recognize the more clinical terminology from diagnostics, even. It's a major identifiable symptom called "age-inappropriate interests and behaviours." (I personally prefer age-atypical; the current technical language is still, unfortunately, age-inappropriate.)

These age-atypical interests are caused by combinations of disability related factors including but not limited to:

Children's media has cleaner sound balancing with stronger dialogue tracks that make following the language easier. There also tend to be clearer pauses and tonal cues.

Children's media is often safely predictable in its outcome. Someone may die, but probably not the main hero, for example. This predictability is desirable for many autistic people in a hobby, as it limits distressors.

Language used tends to be plainer, with less reliance on quick flying quips that are hard to hear/read fast enough, or clever implications in screenplay. Many other autistic people love complex "adult" film specifically because they are fluent in screenwriting and enjoy exercising that fluency. Many more autistic people never learned screenplay fluently. Pretending that all autistic people have the same level of fluency in screenplay is not conducive to having a genuine conversation on this subject. All of this information and more is available to you it you associate yourself with non-verbal, less verbal, and intellectually disabled autistic people right here on tumblr.

Children's media is often translated into more languages than adult media, especially with dubbing. Being able to hear and read the dialogue simultaneously is a super basic access issue that autistic people are stuck fighting all the damned time, and kid's shows are some of the very few types of mass accessible pop art that actively enable that.

Speaking of mass access: children's media is often very easy to access, with a tendency towards being hosted on multiple stream sites, broadcasting in syndication, etc. This means more autistic people have access to it, and thus by simple numbers, more of them will enjoy it than niche artforms we are rarely allowed to interact with freely.

Media consumption more broadly is a desirable hobby for many autistic people because it can be done alone or with friends, as one's energy levels allow, and both forms can be similarly gratifying. This is a level of control over socialization that is very rare for most autistic people.

You'll also find trends of autistic people gathering around other subjects that have these qualities, not just children's media. Just off the top of my head, both kink and train collecting meet these standards, particularly as regards control, stressors, and access; both are also famous for being disproportionately autistic.

Indeed, this tendency to gather around accessible, controllable hobbies that can be engaged with alone or in small groups creates the very notion of "cringe."

People don't think watching kid's shows is bad in a vacuum: they think that autistic people are shameful, and thus anything we congregate around is shameful too. Including watching kid's shows.

Pretending that autistic people don't have an above average level of interest in media made for kids is nonsense. It's nonsense. It actively worsens everyone's perception of both the diversity of autistic experiences. You can claim that anti-bullying campaigns are bad for autistic people all you like, but no amount of research has ever or will ever back up that claim.

Either you are lying, or you have been lied to.

Autistic people are so well known for this that it's literally how we are identified socially AND diagnosed medically.

That's the reality.

No matter how much you hate it: other autistic people are still going to be drawn to hobbies you don't share, and they are still going to be abused for it. Including so-called """baby movies."""

Enjoying media you don't is not grounds to say that actually the abuse other people face is made up and doesn't need to be addressed.

Liking kid's shows is morally neutral.

You must acknowledge it as a morally neutral statement of fact, not an accusation of personal failing. Liking kid's shows is no better, no worse, no different from liking mid-16th century tapestry, or artsy experimental music from cities I've never heard of in countries I've never visited.

If you cannot even admit that all non-violent hobbies are equally legitimate, then we have no common ground upon which to continue a discussion.

As long as you operate under the presumption that any autistic who is less complex in their interests than you is not worth acknowledging, then you are not worth this discussion. You can try again when you've learned not to be pro-bullying.

Which brings me to

2: You are still, right now, loudly and proudly insisting that being anti-bullying is Bad Actually.

Once you've accepted the fundamentally morally neutral nature of being into something kinda "cringe," ask yourself why your reaction to anti-bullying campaigns rooted in that neutrality is to separate yourself from the other autistic people demanding to be treated with the basest level of human respect.

To then pass on blatant lies about those people (whether knowingly or by mistake), and claim that they are hurting themselves. To demand that those people "stop hurting themselves" by obeying your rules. Rules that, whether you wish to admit it or not, were very obviously made out of ignorance and will very obviously cause great harm.

Those lies are now fueling hatred of a damn anti bullying campaign. The single most milquetoast conceivable.

Furthermore, this is an anti bullying campaign modeled off some of the most successful abuse interventions for autistic people that have been studied to date. It is a campaign started by other autistic people to protect ourselves from the heaps of ableist abuse we receive daily.

And you loathe it enough to join this cavalcade.

But see: the anti bullying campaigns work. They save lives. They improve quality of life in every measurable field. And they have done for literally decades. This is a closed matter. A proven fact.

Whereas spreading misinformation about the diversity of autistic experiences actively worsens that quality of life. Another proven fact, actually.

Your choice is between a proven benefit to autistic people started by and for us. Or a proven detriment that causes huge amount of death in our community.

And right now, with all your genteel kindness, silk gloves and sweet honey? You've chosen "do the thing that makes autistic people suicidal". Worse, you've convinced yourself that this is a good thing. That increased suicidality and abuse benefits all autistic people because the method thereof happens to benefit you.

I don't know how you think it benefits you. Maybe it makes you feel safer in allistic society. Maybe it just boosts your ego with a rush of vicious justice serving glee. Probably it's something else entirely.

Whatever the reason, you've nevertheless chosen the second most common cause of death among autistic people ages 10-35 as the thing you want to support.

See, telling people not to be abusive shitheads because like 70% of their abuse is rooted in an unexamined hatred of disabled people is not """"shoving politics where it doesn't belong"""" or whatever else. It's identifying and acknowledging the root issue, and attempting to actively address it.

So, with all that out of the way:

WHY did you think sending me this misinformation would make me more sympathetic to the literally dozens of people who have done nothing but harass me for 13 fucking hours now?

#ActuallyAutistic #Autism and bullying #Autistic abuse #I'm not editing this anymore you get to live with the typoes

[nordholm]

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#DubaiAccounting #BookkeepingServices #FinancialManagement #UAEFinance #AccountingSolutions #NordholmDubai #BusinessConsulting #VATCompliance

[spade-riddles]

it would be pretty difficult to find out what taylor's iq level is without getting her to take the test officially. however, there is no doubt that she's a genius.

at 14 years, she wrote a novel! "a girl named girl," a non-autobiographical novel about a mother who wants a son but has a daughter instead. i wish she would publish this.

she won a national poetry competition. she wrote a five page poem.

she wrote love story in twenty minutes.

her lyrics. the fact that she has plenty of unreleased songs we have not heard.

her emotional intelligence. her ability to take her experiences and universalise them. her ability to adapt (multiple genres, masters heist, the pandemic, etc.)

she knows how to play multiple instruments. she can speak in more than one language. she paints. she directs and writes her own music videos now. her vision. she's in the guinness world records.

she can visualize and turn them into reality. she has a great memory and attention to detail.

her easter eggs would show that she's really good with numbers, patterns, and keeping track of them. she's a great businesswoman (i would also like to credit her team and her parents in this regard, but, undoubtedly that doesn't diminish her role!).

i'm not even going get into her career — the awards, the accomplishments, the records broken; all while she's still in her thirties? and she still continues to do great things when she could easily retire?

she shows that there isn't just a single clear-cut definition of being smart; if we all got the chance to pursue our passions instead of doing what society tells us is "smart" for us to do, then we would reach brilliant heights as well!

mensa would be stupid to not accept her, honestly. not like she needs them though.

Anonymous said:

genius/language anon here. i may have gotten my facts wrong about what languages taylor can speak and i think i have mixed up speaking and fluency. thank you all for correcting me, i can't edit my previous anons now but i will do my research better next time! x

#great post #taylor swift #thank you anon

[meimae]

Today is my 3rd year of learning Japanese through immersion!

For the most part, I was just in maintenance mode as I tried to take care of myself and reassess my goals. Basically, I went through a lot of burnout when I realized I couldn't really make a career with my pursuit of fluency in this language. I then tried to pursue baking and started a small business which was fun, but ultimately wasn't very profitable because of how expensive the ingredients are. I made another career change which has been fulfilling so far because of how nice and helpful everyone is around me, the only drawback being that it's on a graveyard shift, which makes it difficult to immerse when I feel sleepy during the afternoons when I finally wake up.

I think a lot of things in my life changed for the better tho, and I'm still grateful for a lot of people in this community who continue to inspire me to pursue great things and to keep going despite everything crazy going on.

I still am doing daily Anki reviews and currently have 19,567 learned words in my deck now, most of which I've decided to suspend because a lot of them were way past the 1-year interval. I also feel the need to "refresh" and "start from scratch" by basically doing all new cards once I find a schedule that allows me to immerse again. I haven't studied many new cards either and have just been waiting to mature all of my cards so I can suspend them in preparation for the refresh I'm hoping for.

I also thought that because I barely spent time with the language I would just forget all of it, but to my surprise, any time I pick up something to read or watch a drama or an anime episode, I could still understand a lot of what was going on (with some Yomichan cope of course, lol). I'm not sure if that's because I had already put in 3000+ hours in the language before I finally decided to take a huge break from it, but nonetheless, I'm glad I don't have to do much in terms of getting back on track whenever I feel like dedicating time to it again.

That's it for my little update. Hopefully, a fresh start and some really interesting content can get me back into reading and watching. I still love this language and I don't think at this point I can ever unlearn it.

Thanks as always, and I hope to update you soon. ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

#language immersion #japanese language #language learning #language acquisition #japanese #studyblr #langblr #japanese langblr

[familyabolisher]

Hi! I realized someone has asked a similar question, but on the topic of essay writing are there any specific skill sets that you’ve worked on extensively to make the process less daunting & do you have any advice from your own experience on how to start dabbling with litcrit/theory to apply to your own Thoughts? I’ve been wanting to write down my silly brainworms on Things but they’re very fragmented and it’s quite a struggle to glue it all together,, I really enjoy your writing!! Hoping I can eventually be as eloquent.

well the way i normally do it is to write down my various thoughts in bullet-point format and see if i can wed them together into a coherent thesis, and then work from there; most essays and similar such pieces of writing will have the thread of a thesis statement running through them to which every point they make has to eventually return. so if you have a lot of scattered thoughts about something, the best advice i can give you is to try and make them less scattered, and see if you can identify a common point of origin from which they all emerged. there are guides to essay-writing available on the internet put together by people far more qualified than me who manage to go into far greater depth with the planning details, but imo the important thing is to have an overarching point to which you consistently return. and, i guess, have that point be extending beyond the internal barriers of a text; rather than merely describing the text’s internal world as though everything happening within it sprung up organically, the drive of the essay should come from an understanding of everything contained within the text coming about as a result of deliberate choices made by an external agent (writer, editor, translator…) such that your job as a critic comes back to describing and evaluating which choices were made and why.

as for literary criticism, i don’t know if i can help you here beyond some very broad advice – having a fluency in critical theory and a sense of when it might be relevant to your argument is something that i find comes organically, and trying to marry X theorist to Y text without a solid sense of where X theorist was coming from or the myriad other forces that might be acting on Y text risks missing the woods for the trees. so, reading widely and actively (writing down arguments, keeping track of what you think of them, identifying points of conflict) will be incrementally beneficial in developing your own critical voice.

i guess my only other piece of advice would be to give primacy to your own argument and locate the frameworks given to you by your working knowledge of literary theory within it; the arguments made by lit theorists should be treated as arguments, developed under particular conditions and accountable to particular forces, rather than irrefutable ‘facts.’ asking, for example, ‘how do we apply edward said’s theory of orientalism to X text’ can be illuminating, but risks atomising or flattening the text in a way that ‘how does X text affirm or alter our understanding of edward said’s theory of orientalism’ might circumvent. the latter question understands literary epistemic frameworks to be influx depending on the contents of the texts to which they are accountable, and privileges the individual’s ability to read the text holistically and form a judgement about the precision of the literary theory in question in relation to their findings. (this doesn’t always apply – sometimes X to Y theory application is effective enough to cover all the bases without need for this kind of intervention – but it’s a good way to develop an evaluative rather than analytical practice.)

so, have a clear sense of an overarching argument, develop a consistent theoretical reading habit that helps to support your development of your personal critical voice, and treat literary theory as something with which you are in dialogue such that you don’t lose sight of the primacy of your argument. is my advice.

#ask #resources