you're shocked when your father offers you a binder. he's never been supportive in the slightest, making comments on how you were meant to be a woman and how you should appreciate your body and purpose more. but all of that goes out the window when he presents it to you and offers to help you put it on. it's a little strange but it's the acceptance you've always wanted so you strip your shirt off in front of him, ignoring the way he looks at your tits. he tells you to put your arms up and it's only when the binder is over your head you realize the chest is lined with thumbtacks. you scream and try to pull away but he's stronger than you, scraping down over your body until it's in place, crushing your tits and forcing sharp metal to sink into sensitive skin. once he's done and you're sobbing and begging him to stop, trying to writhe out of his grip, he tells you how nice you look like this, bringing his hands up to crush the tacks further into your tits as he hugs you
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trans steve growing up and feeling that something isn't right, she feels too…..out of place in her own body and she tries to placate that feeling by wearing pants and tshirts instead of the dresses her mother forces her in but she's always caught and punished in someway so she wears the dresses and fixes her hair and she grows up.
she's fine. she deals with it. until one day in freshman year the feeling becomes too much and she ends up confiding in tommy whose been her best friend since kindergarten and he gives her his old clothes he doesn't wear anymore. the feeling lessens and she's comfortable. for now.
then, in sophomore year, wearing the clothes around the house and when she's with tommy and carol isn't enough anymore. by then her parents are hardly ever in the state, let alone the country, for more than two days at a time. she's not worried about the gossip of hawkins getting back to them, she doubts they even care, so the monday after a minor breakdown in her ensuite, she pins her hair up into a bob, dons a polo and jeans, and the new pair of nike's she bought with the money that was supposed to be used on groceries.
the anxiousness still sits at the bottom of her chest. she can't put a finger on it until she's flipping through a magazine and finds herself sighing wistfully at the guy in a cologne ad, wishing she could look like that. it catches her off guard and startles her so much she rips the page out and throws it in the wastebasket. that sets off a whole new panic to have over the weekend, but the thought of not being "___ harrington" anymore is such a weight off of her shoulders and she cries in relief.
two weeks and another confessional with tommy and carol later, steve harrington makes his appearance at hawkins high and nobody says a thing because, really, who's brave enough? tommy will beat the shit out of anyone who so much as glances at steve the wrong way and it makes warmth bubble up in steve's chest and he thinks he's so lucky to have the two of them in his corner.
until november 1983 happens.
he drops tommy and carol and steve is clinging to the last threads of his popularity when billy hargrove dethrones him in '84 and opens up the whole can of bullshit that leaves steve reeling. he's spiraling by the time dustin finds him and drags him back into the world of monsters and government secrets, and it distracts him, protecting the kids and making sure they stay alive. billy still kicks his ass, female parts or not.
and then the shit with the russians and being drugged and robin buckley becoming his best friend and platonic soulmate on the floor of a disgusting bathroom stall happens, and it all feels like a blur. or maybe that's just from being knocked in the head too many times in the past couple years, steve's pretty sure. robin knows his secret and he knows hers and they'll both take them to their graves.
summer 1986. his parents finally decide to grace the town with their presence after more than three years away. things have changed, steve's changed, and its obvious his parents aren't happy. they scream, punches are thrown, and steve ultimately ends up on the doorstep of the munson's brand new two bedroom house, courtesy of government hush money, with a suitcase in hand.
eddie remembers the steve before. he didn't have much of an opinion on him back then but he saw the fallout with hagan and perkins and quietly told himself there'd be a space for steve in his flock of sheep should he need it.
he didn't back then, but now he does.
steve opens the floodgates and tells his story from the beginning. from the clothes, from the secret hospital appointments and the surgery that, before the demobats, nobody even knew about. he's crying by the end and tells eddie that it feels like a piece of him is dead inside. that after all of it, he feels guilty.
eddie sits quietly and listens, giving steve his full attention with those dark round eyes. he tells him he doesn't have to be sorry for doing it on his own. he's not alone anymore. eddie reminds him that he hasn't needed his parents for a while now, and "who needs them when you've got us, huh? those assholes didn't spend the last four years risking their lives for this town."
he's right. he's found his family in the kids, in robin, in nancy, and hell, even eddie (he won't say how he wants it to be a little more with eddie.) he's grown up and away from the expectations his parents set for him and he doesn't have to feel sorry for that.
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