#god i honestly have not been this obsessed over a ship in a long time and its crazy

[harrysfolklore]

idk if you’re still taking requests but you should do actress!yn who’s been a long time fan of harry since 1d and a fellow solo harrie and they’re the stars of this movie (maybe a romcom 🤔) and then y/n is so nervous around harry and he teases her?? then they realize they have so much in common and it’s just fluff everywhere 🥲

this is honestly one of my favorite blurbs i’ve ever done and i hope you love it as much as i do! enjoy and thank youuu for the request

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

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yourinstagram The Bear has been out for a week and you can watch it on Hulu if you haven’t already ok we love u and goodbye!!

view all 27,928 comments

ynfan1 SO SLAY

sza ❤️

ynfan2 ive been here since day one

harryfan1 HARRY LIKED THIS OMG

mtv We stan

harrystyles Amazing show and amazing work from everybody, love it x

↳ harryfan2 HARRY ???

↳harryfan3 his new show obsession now that succession is over

↳ ynfan2 YN IS A LONGTIME 1D FAN LOL I BET SHES CRYING

↳ yourinstagram omg this means a lot, thank you for watching and supporting !

TWITTER

//

liked by harrystyles, alexademie and 499,928 others

yourinstagram SEASON FINALE OF THE BEAR AIRS TODAY 🥲 thank you for all the love u all have my heart

view all 31,002 comments

ynfan1 SOBBING

zendaya Congratulations little angel 🤍

ynfan2 SHES THE PEOPLE’S PRINCESS

harryfan1 IS THAT?

↳ harryfan2 IM PRETTY SURE IT IS

mtv Crying over the flowers and note 👀

harrystyles Love, love, love

↳ harryfan3 HARRYYYYY

↳ ynfan3 if this ain’t love then what is

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 9,028 others

harryupdates Harry and YN out in London today !

view all 209 comments

harryfan1 WEEEEEE

ynfan1 OH

harryfan2 COUPLE ALERT SO DAMN RIGJY

ynfan2 chill i bet they’re just friends

harryfan3 NO WAY

ynfan3 the pipeline from being a one direction fan to hanging out with (maybe dating??) harry i’m so here for it

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 10,028 others

theharrytea guysss deuxmoi posted this !! i think it might be about harry omg. thoughts ?

view all 216 comments

harryfan1 OOOOHHH

harryfan2 harry in a romcom i could DIE

harryfan3 PERIOD DRAMA YES YES

harryfan4 omg makes sense i hope it’s true we need ROMCOMRRY

liked by alexademie, harrystyles and 498,028 others

yourinstagram scripts coming in and i’m like:

view all 31,019 comments

ynfan1 YAYYYY

zendaya ❤️

harryfan1 harry liked thisssss

ynfan2 we need a movie now that the bear is over

dualipa LEGEND 🤍

harryfan2 harry what are you doing here

TWITTER

TEXT BETWEEN HARRY AND YN

//

liked by kaiagerber, harrystyles and 628,022 others

yourinstagram first day of filming check !! hiyaaaa costar ⭐️ @harrystyles

view all 38,927 comments

ynfan1 AHHH

jefezoff 🥰

harryfan1 ITS GETTING REAL

ynfan2 imagine going from one direction dan to harry’s co star

harrystyles Hiiiiiiii x

↳ harryfan2 he was giggling and kicking his feet while typing this

↳ ynfan3 they’re in love

gemmachan Love you both ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, sza and 5,927,027 others

harrystyles Which Brings Me to You. Coming Soon.

view all 77,827 comments

harryfan1 AHHHHH

annetwist ❤️

ynfan1 WHY DID HE CHOOSE THIS PIC

harryfan2 y’all it’s joever

alessando_michele 🍒🤍

harryfan3 those saying that they’re dating don’t know what a work relationship and friendship is

yourinstagram 🥹🥹🥹

ynfan2 i soooo ship this

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 16,927 others

harryupdates Harry and YN on set of Which Brings Me to You!

view all 1,102 comments

harryfan1 AHHH

ynfan1 i love them so bad

harryfan2 i can’t wait to see this movie GOD

ynfan2 MY FAIRYTALE COUPLE

harryfan3 FAVES

liked by harrystyles, oliviarodrigo and 872,927 others

yourinstagram today is the day !!! world premiere of which brings me to you 🥲🥲 love u all thanks for the support

picture by the costar, awkward pose by meeee

view all 41,029 comments

ynfan1 AHHH GO BESTIE

kaiagerber love you both sm 🤍

harryfan2 HARRY TOOK THIS I CANT

mtv This is my roman empire

ynfan2 no biggie just harry taking pictures of her

harrystyles Amazing photographer, amazing pose x

↳ harryfan2 are we interrupting something?

↳ynfan3 he’s in love

liked by yourinstagram, adele and 7,028,927 others

harrystyles Which Brings Me to You World Premiere. October, 2023.

view all 81,928 comments

harryfan1 BABY

jefezoff 🙌🏻

ynfan1 oh he hot

yourinstagram excuse me u get credits on my pic but i don’t ??

↳ harrystyles Picture by the costar, charming face by my mum x

↳ harryfan1 HARRY 😭

↳ harryfan2 I LOVE HIM SO BAD

INTERVIEWS

//

liked by harrystyles, sza and 882,967 others

yourinstagram press day ! be ready because tons of content from me and @harrystyles annoying you about our movie is coming sooooooon 🥰

view all 40,924 comments

ynfan1 this is the best day of my life

jefezoff I feel blessed

harryfan1 MY FAVORITE DUO ON EARTH

harrystyles We are charming, aren’t we?

↳ harryfan2 itsg harry has never been more active

annetwist ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, zendaya and 7,937,229 others

harrystyles We took a Lie Detector Test. The results were pretty interesting. You can watching it in Vanity Fair’s Youtube channel now.

view all 82,937 comments

harryfan1 HEEEELP

harryfan2 WHY DID HE CHOOSE THIS PIC HES SOOOOOO

annetwist ❤️

ynfan1 “have you ever had the hots for a co star before” THEY WEREN’T SNEAKY WITH THAT ONE

yourinstagram liar liar pants on fire

ynfan2 THEY’RE DEFINITELY DATING BYEEEEE

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

liked by harrystyles, zendaya and 1,028,002 others

yourinstagram in words of taylor swift: you’re my lover

comments on this post have been limited

liked by yourinstagram, bellahadid and 9,017,287 others

harrystyles

comments on this post have been limited

#harry styles fake instagram #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles x you #harry styles fic #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles headcanon #harry styles fake social media #harry styles fic rec #harrysfolklore #harry styles instagram concept #harry styles headcannon #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles anguilla

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

#art year in review #anime-grimmy #fanart #sketch #comic #animatic #undertale #trigun #legend of zelda #monster hunter #kingdom hearts #undead unluck #genshin impact

[waitmyturtles]

Rose's Day of Asks

From your 'OGMMTVC Project' what have been the shows that surprised you the most? For whatever reason

Have a great Day💜

HI ROSE, great to hear from you! Oooh, great question! Old GMMTV Challenge shows that I was surprised by....

I think in general, shows that surprised me were ones whose reputations preceded them in various ways. More below:

1) I was surprised by how much I liked Make It Right (season 1 and season 2 thoughts here). It's still seen as a problematic show in many ways, and especially by the way the main ships of TeeFuse and FrameBook began their relationships (and there have been issues since 2016 about how young the actors were in their first BL roles). But I was really struck -- especially in the second season, but also many times in the first season -- by how empathic the show was to the confusion of young men discovering their sexualities. It was a wild and chaotic work by New Siwaj and Cheewin Thanamin (GOD, THEY WORKED TOGETHER ON THIS, crazy to acknowledge this now), and there were manyyyy points of the two seasons that made nonsense, à la Cheewin's modus operandi. But there was true heart in the show, and the last episodes of TeeFuse and FrameBook confirming their relationships just took me out (especially with FrameBook's ending serving as a preview of how King and Uea confirmed their relationship in Cheewin's future show, Bed Friend).

2) I was surprised by how much I LOVED LOVED LOOOOOOVVVEEEEDDDDDD Theory of Love. The word used the most to describe this show when I was crowdsourcing the OGMMTVC list was "controversial." And I watched it and within the first episode, I was like, "OOOOH WE ARE GETTING PLAYYYYYED," and I loved the show for it. I know X Nuttapong has had some non-wins in his drama list (e.g., Vice Versa), but I think X's Theory of Love and Cherry Magic Thailand were seriously so fucking amazing, and he clearly can do wonders with excellent screenwriting. Theory of Love was so subversive and smart, and I think it showcased the start of the real depth of the OffGun ship wonderfully. Those two rose to the occasion. I can't wait to rewatch it.

3) I was surprised by how much I jumped on my bed and was screaming YAAAAASSSS at Lovely Writer. I watched some of Tee Bundit's works out of order. I watched TharnType first and was like, NO. And THEN I fucking watched STEP BY FUCKING STEP after that, and I was like, FUCK this guy. But Lovely Writer has almost universal praise, so I took some time to breattthhhheee, and watched it, and I was like, OH, so that's why everyone was originally hyped on Step By Step. Lovely Writer was fantastic, easily Tee Bundit's best show (in my opinion) on his list (and I say this as a IFYLITA stan), and thank god for this show, because it made me then appreciate his cute cameos in War of Y, lol.

4) I was surprised by how obsessed I got over Until We Meet Again, because fuck series that are 17 episodes long, but I literally still feel like I can't get enough of this series? I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

5) I was super surprised to have enjoyed my recent rewatch of KinnPorsche so much! I thought I'd be all haterade over it, considering my newfound education, but honestly, it was funny in a lot of parts, well acted, obviously well shot -- it was a romp, and I was glad to make myself an excuse to rewatch it as my first-ever Thai BL.

6) Something else that has surprised me recently, not quite show-related: I have recently watched Secret Crush On You, and I'm watching War of Y currently, and: I am not sure that Seng Wichai has gotten enough of his flowers. It's interesting to me that some of the absolute BEST actors in this field -- Seng Wichai, Ohm Pawat, etc. -- have controversial reputations preceding them for life situations that don't comport to easy shipping, god fucking forbid. During both SCOY and Seng's turn on War of Y, I was seriously taken by how good this guy is, and I'm not sure, during my crowdsourcing work, if Seng was boasted about enough. This m'fer can ACT, and I love him for it.

7) Not at all surprising was how much I had to say about Bad Buddy. I loved writing this mini-series!

Thanks for the question, Rose!

#thanks for the ask! #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #theory of love #lovely writer #make it right #secret crush on you #seng wichai #until we meet again #kinnporsche #x nuttapong

[bengiyo]

Gav and Cai Hira and Kiyoi Teh and Oh

aka my top 3 and TanBun or KornKnock for the grown and sexy

Absolutely zero chill. Four pairs?? I think you're just gonna get me firing from the hip.

Gavreel and Cairo

When it comes to BL, the Philippines won when it came to tackling how the pandemic affected connection and romance. I really like presentation of developing a crush on a streamer and just going for it with these two. I'm still waiting for my proper gamers BL, but this is a good first outing.

I think what I like so much about what we got from these two is how temporary so much of their lives feels. They want to be together. They want to commit. However, life won't let them. Gav can't stay here and be okay because he's running out of money and honestly isn't that well right now. Cairo is still grieving his dad, and he has a lot of growing up to do.

They're one of the rare pairs that I want to be together in the future who I am glad are forced to take a break when we see them part.

Hira and Kiyoi

I think the best thing about this show and this pairing was the reveal that Kiyoi was also obsessed with Hira from the moment their eyes first locked. I also really like that Kiyoi is a bottom who wants it.

We've been lucky with these two that we got to see them three times, and I like how much stronger Yagi has gotten as an actor each time, and how Hagiwara has grown as a creator and storyteller. These two seem to really understand that they have two characters who struggle to say what's necessary to each other in a way that reaches the other.

I loved in Season 2 when Kiyoi realized that Hira was still worshiping him as a god and freaked the fuck out about it, storming out of the house. That he was in the living room the next morning waiting for Hira to come and talk to him, only to get annoyed again was perfect. We get fairly decent payoff for Hira finally facing his own ego when it comes to Kiyoi in the movie, and these two remain among my favorites.

Also, Yagi Yusei really is that beautiful.

Teh and Oh

I just know if I was part of MoRaoYuLok I would have a side chat where we just bitched about these two.

Teh is such an asshole sometimes, and Oh is really so patient with his nonsense. I always lament that Teh is so unsociable that he struggles to maintain a lot of friendships, and it's why that snake Jai was able to get in there and fuck up his life. Still, Teh isn't off the hook for his own shit. He's always struggled with jealousy when it comes to Oh, and he's always worried about falling behind him.

Oh is just so naturally gifted and has an irresistible natural charm. He knows he's beautiful, and he knows how people see yet, and yet he's only ever looking at Teh. We should all be so lucky.

I think about that translation scene in episode 3 of ITSAY regularly, and how that is probably one of the best moments we've ever had in BL. These two really captured a love that feels bigger than their bodies can contain.

Tan and Bun

I'll talk about Tan and Bun since it's been too long since I watched Together With Me and cannot remember them that clearly anymore.

Tan was so ridiculous this entire show, and I'll never get over Bun being ACAB as fuck the whole time. Bun never forgot that he was trying to solve this case for his bestie who they murdered, but he knew she would want him to get some ass along the way.

Tan said absolutely insane shit to Bun literally every episode. He even shot that man off a cliff. Somehow he still won. Incredible.

Send Me a Ship and I'll Share My Thoughts

#answered #ask game #manner of death #i told sunset about you #gameboys the series #my beautiful man #utsukushii kare

[cushfuddled]

I wish I didn't hate Ed and Stede but here we are I guess

I didn't have time to put a section about this in my review (since it would add another ten minutes onto a fifty minute video hhhhh) but I just gotta take a second and vent about how much I dislike Stede and Ed in season two.

When I watched season two for the first time, I assumed I didn't ship Gentlebeard anymore because I'd...I dunno...gotten bored of the ship or whatever. But when I went back to rewatch season one, I was immediately sucked back into the Ed/Stede jet engine. I loved them through the finale, up until around the middle of season two...at which point I became totally disinterested again.

Even going back through season one clips for this review...the chemistry is soooo strong for me. The only time I got that feeling from season two was like, from the mermaid scene and the finger-stacking scene.

And I honestly think my disinterest stems from the fact that I can't stand Ed and Stede as characters anymore. They're dicks in season one, but ANNOYING dicks in season two, and I guess I just...don't ship characters who make me want to tear my hair out.

In season two, Ed behaves like a petulant five year old with a gun. It's so "say sorry to your friend right now!" "I don't wanna! :(" followed by a stint in the time out chair and a mumbled non-apology. For all of season two, Ed behaves like a spoiled brat, and I really can't stand it.

My friend pointed out that Ed is in a position where he needs to reparent himself. His emotional development likely stopped around the time he killed his dad (when he was still a kid). No one modeled healthy behavior and emotional regulation for Ed past the age of...maybe fifteen? So of course he's gonna behave like a kid. It's gonna be a long road for Ed to learn these regulating strategies as an adult, and I guess...hhhhhh.

None of Ed's trauma excuses Ed from torturing and traumatizing his crew. It feels shitty to find a deeply traumatized character's behavior "annoying," but...I mean. I say this as someone who's experienced suicide ideation myself: Ed isn't real, and I'm not Ed's friend, and so I don't really feel obligated to extend patience and understanding to a fictional construct when that construct spends 90% of his screen time behaving like a stuck up, self-obsessed, capricious, whiny, murderous asshole.

Add season-two-Stede to the mix and CHRIST...Stede—like Ed—was always a dick, but the way he encouraged Lucius to divulge his trauma only to react with cartoonish disgust, cower like a cornered animal, and then flee while begging Lucius to be quiet...

Then Stede decides to veto the crew's decision to ban Ed—their abuser—from the ship ("talk it through as a crew" my ass)...? Oh, and gotta love how Stede-"I've been the cause of death. It changes you"-Bonnet sets a guy on fucking fire and laughs, then kills a bunch of English soldiers with nary a backward glance. Okay. Would've loved some kind of exploration re: that major heel turn, but fine. And then Ed and Stede stand over Izzy's grave—the (mutilated) body of their dear friend and crewmate—and their combined eulogy amounts to "He was tense. Very tense." "Yeah, he was a fucking nightmare. What a guy." How endearing. Season two turned these two bastards (affectionate) into bastards (derogatory) for me and I'm still salty about it. God DAMMIT.

#our flag means death salt #ofmd salt

[abcwordsurge]

Hii!! I read your intro post and you mentioned liking Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet :D Who are your favorite characters in both and why?

Thank you ☺️

oh! this was a delightful surprise. I just updated my intro post today (well, yesterday as of posting this), and I didn't think anyone would notice haha. thank you for reading it ^_^

I absolutely love both Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet, and honestly it's nice to have an excuse to talk about them on my blog. however, since you asked specifically about favorite characters, this will inevitably be a long one. I can never get myself to shut up about characters.

my favorite Ninjago characters are Nya and Jay (and honorary mention Kai). my favorite Romeo & Juliet characters are probably Mercutio and Benvolio (but I could make a good reason for any of them to be the best haha). very long rant under cut

--

so! let's start with Nya. first, I have to point out that she was horribly mistreated in canon. it was sort of inevitable- since she was "the girl," I feel like the creators felt like a lot of her arc had to be... being the girl? I'm just still a bit disappointed at her missed potential of just, y'know, being a ninja.

that being said, she's a flipping icon and I love her with all of my heart, and every time she's on the screen it makes me smile. granted, I totally project onto her (and her brother, our favorite Kai~), but even if you ignore my personal headcanons of her being aromantic and loveless, she's such a smart, stubborn, and creative character, and I love that for her.

also Jay. I love Jay. I feel like, as a fanfic writer, I treat him the exact opposite of how I treat Nya. every time I write about Nya, I write about her experiences with being aromantic, or her desperation to prove herself, things like that. when I write about Jay, it's like Jay's in love with Cole, or Jay's in love with Nya (actually unrequited love my beloved), or Jay's in love with Kai. (side note- I actually headcanon Kai as aromantic, too, but sometimes I put that headcanon on pause so I can ship him. because oh my god he has such cute ships.) anyway all this to say that Jay's an adorable goofy little guy and I like putting him in situations. (he also has massive angst potential but angst isn't really my forte.)

ok. Romeo & Juliet. before I get into specifics, I must say that the characterization in this play is criminally underrated. if it were released today, it would have leagues of fans obsessing over both Romeo and Juliet, and arguing over whether Romeo is a romantic or just an idiot, and getting into shipping wars (especially Benvolio/Mercutio vs Tybalt/Mercutio- though Bencutio is obviously superior). the fact that it only has 2000 fics on AO3 is a tragedy to rival, well, Romeo & Juliet.

(also- for my WttT followers and moots, if any of you have gotten this far, I have to say that we have very nearly surpassed Romeo & Juliet in number of fics on AO3. keep it up)

now if I was forced to pick favorites in Romeo & Juliet, I would have to say the aforementioned Benvolio and Mercutio- both as a duo and as individuals, they are so flipping wonderful. I saw a local production of Romeo & Juliet over the summer, and ever since then, I have been deathly defensive of them. I will fight over the fact that they're both so well written and well characterized. (I also super love them as a ship- in the production I saw, when Romeo and Juliet met for the first time, there were plenty of duos in the background, slow dancing, and Ben and Merc were dancing together, and I just... I have no words. they're perfect.)

anyway. Benvolio first. Ben is such a big cousin sort of character, iykwim. there's something so tragic about the fact that he tried from the very beginning to get everyone to stop fighting, but no matter what he did or said, he couldn't save them- not his cousin, not his best friend. (I've never seen Hamlet, but I'm told that Benvolio is the Horatio of R&J. Shakespeare knew which archetypes work, I guess.) he's so awesome. I love him

and Mercutio! Merc is just a kid you guys. he's a teenage boy. he's so funny and free spirited and every time I watch R&J, all I can think about is "he's here for a good time, not a long time." because it's so true! his recklessness and immaturity leads to his death! (another theme, perhaps- because while he did sort of bring it upon himself, I would never say it's his fault- but that's a rant for another day.) Merc is just so immediately lovable and his death hurts me the most. his death is the turning point between a mostly light hearted play to the tragedy that we associate with it, and that makes it hurt even more. (and Ben holds him when he dies and Ben is left all alone at the end, and oh my god Shakespeare is famous for a reason.)

so, yeah. this is very long and mostly unedited, sorry. you pushed the right buttons to keep me talking for hours. maybe I'll start posting more about my other fandoms, because this was a lot of fun. thank you so much for asking :D

#ninjago #nya jiang #nya smith #kai jiang #kai smith #jay walker #romeo and juliet #benvolio #mercutio #mercutio and benvolio #ask box

[irondad-defensesquad]

Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Chapter 2

Read chapter 1 here! (Also posted on AO3)

I'm sorry I took a while to finish this story, but here we are! I do hope this is a satisfying conclusion. I also don't write Happy often, so I apologize if he's OOC.

TRIGGER WARNINGS (for this chapter) - alcohol abuse and past child abuse

DO NOT SHIP PETER AND TONY. P/ROSHIP DNI.

--

He doesn’t get any texts from Peter.

It’s already night.

Tony knows he doesn’t have the right to pity himself after fucking up this badly. He already feels guilty for the ferry incident, even if Peter did make mistakes. But this time is different. Peter didn’t do anything wrong. He could tell Tony wasn’t feeling great, so he just wanted to help, to fix the already broken car part. And Tony didn’t bother seeing that. Hell, he didn’t even praise Peter for acing his test. He just reduced him to an annoyance in his workshop that had to stay quiet in the corner.

At the same time Tony didn’t want to tell Peter to go away, he still made him feel like he didn’t want the kid there.

Imagine how Peter must be feeling. He’s probably not going to show up at the Compound anymore. He must think Tony hates him. Or he’s going to expect Tony to blow up and maybe do something worse than yelling.

Tony has long since abandoned the workshop. He’s at the lonely kitchen all by himself, if not for the bottle of scotch he hasn’t touched in forever, and his silent Stark Phone. Pepper is coming home later tonight, which is honestly a relief. After what he did to Peter, the last thing Tony wants is to hurt anyone else. Especially Pepper.

(Now that he thinks of it, he’s even surprised that Pepper wanted to get back together with him.)

His own hateful words that he threw at Peter replay in his head like a broken record. But most importantly, Tony replays the exact moment the kid’s innocent puppy eyes were tainted, all the insecurities he already dealt with becoming reality, his childhood hero turning against him like that. Peter definitely still feels guilty about the ferry, and Tony only threw more gasoline in the fire.

Why? God, why? How could Tony fuck everything up so badly?

Tony has been crying since Peter left. He hasn’t cried this much in years, decades. It’s like everything is coming back to him: Howard threatening his younger self not to cry, Rogers and Barnes leaving Tony in Siberia, all of the Avengers leaving him, Vision disappearing most of the time, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy nearly dying… Hurting Peter, then, one of the most loyal people Tony has ever known, was the last straw.

It’s like that whole storm, that once released only thunder that hurt Peter, has turned into heavy rain. The rage remains there, but now it’s washed over by the grief, the knowledge that Tony fucked up big time, and he won’t be able to fix it.

He’s sobbing quietly, hiding his bloodshot eyes. He hasn’t moved from this chair for quite a while. Besides taking sips of scotch, Tony only checks his phone obsessively. No new messages. No lost calls. Not even Karen letting him know Peter is patrolling.

Tony just wants to know if Peter is okay. But he doesn’t have the courage to text him. Tony doesn’t want to look desperate. Even if all he wants is to find Peter and hug him the tightest he could. He can’t.

He wishes he could throw the phone away.

…

There are footsteps coming to him.

(Peter?)

“... Tony?”

(No. Of course not.)

He barely looks at Happy, not expecting anyone to show up.

“Hey, Hap,” the pathetic, drunk man swallows his painful sobs. “You want a drink?” When he senses Happy’s concerned frown, Tony sighs. “Oh, right, you’re going home. Sorry.”

He takes another sip. He’s probably nearing half of the bottle at this point.

“... Did Peter get home okay?” Tony wonders.

“Yeah.”

“Did he… say anything?”

Happy shakes his head. “He was very quiet on the ride home. He sent me a text just now telling me he won’t patrol tonight. His aunt is home with him.”

Tony nods, still relieved to hear Peter won’t be alone in his apartment. Of course, he’s the reason why Peter won’t go out as Spider-Man, and he hates that.

“Tony… what happened?” The driver asks, taking a seat next to him but keeping some distance. “I’ve never seen either of you like this.”

The other man inhales, tearing up.

“I said the absolute worst things to him,” Tony recalls. “I called him stupid, I didn’t bother to give him attention, I didn’t praise him for doing well in school… I just told him to do his thing in his corner and not bug me. Like he was just a nuisance and I didn’t want him around.” He pauses. “I was having a shitty day and I forgot that he was coming over. I didn’t want to tell him to go all the way back home, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. Instead I was more concerned about my stupid tech than him.”

Happy listens in silence.

“Then when he broke something I was trying to fix but without any results… I got so angry. I was already angry I couldn’t fix it, but then he dropped it, and I exploded. Everything that came out of my mouth just became worse. And even while I yelled, I could tell Peter was scared, and I didn’t stop until I realized I was stepping towards him, like I was going to do something to him. God, Happy, the look he gave me… and Peter ran away from me. He ran away the fastest he could. It was like I was seeing myself run away from my dad, after I failed to do what he wanted.”

Tony sniffs, already feeling the migraine pestering him.

“... it feels like my worst nightmare became reality,” Tony admits. “I became my dad. And I hurt my kid.” He sobs without any filter. His chest hurts so badly, it’s like those scraps of metal are still there stabbing his heart.

For now, Happy doesn’t say anything, but he does put a hand on Tony’s back comfortingly.

“He means so much to me, Happy, and I screwed everything up again. He must think I hate him. That he’s just some obligation, and not a real person. What am I going to do?” What will my life be without my kid? He would’ve added.

His friend takes a while before breathing in deeply, perhaps thinking of what to say next.

“Tony… I’m sorry I don’t have a lot to say to make you feel better. I wish I could say everything will turn out okay and Peter will come around, but I don’t really know that. However, I will say that you need to give the kid some time. In the heat of the moment, no one’s going to think properly. You are both going to need some space to breathe. You’ll have to focus on yourself. I know that’s easy to say, I know you’re feeling a lot of guilt and you wish you could fix everything… but give it time. Punishing yourself is not going to help. It’ll make you feel worse in the long run.”

It’s the kind of thing everyone has told Tony, Happy included. But in moments like this, Tony tends to forget. Even then, Happy is not tired of saying that. He’s ready to remind him whenever Tony needs.

The latter attempts to dry his soaked face with his arm, to no avail. Happy hands him a napkin that Tony didn’t remember was also on the table.

“When you screw things up, when you hurt someone… you hate yourself for it. Those thoughts can be too much,” Happy continues. “It’s hard to remember this after all the things you survived on your own, but you’re not alone, Tony. You can count on me, Pepper and Rhodey. We’ll be here for you when you need us.” He grins.

Tony is able to listen to Happy instead of the alcohol or the guilt. They’ve known each other for so long that Happy is pretty familiar to all of this. He’s seen the worst of Tony plenty of times. And he’s still here.

The other man finally wraps his arms around his favorite forehead of security, who readily allows it. They don’t have to share any words right now.

Eventually, Happy lets go, silently taking away the bottle of scotch. Then, he returns with a glass of water for Tony.

“Will you stay?” The latter asks, a bit insecurely. After everything Happy must have dealt with today – and on a daily basis, honestly –, he expects him to go home as he should.

“Sure,” Happy answers without hesitation.

Tony doesn’t have a lot of strength to smile. If anything, it makes him want to cry waterfalls again. Happy still reads the gratefulness and relief that Tony won’t be alone with his spiraling thoughts tonight.

Happy even cooks him dinner. Obviously nothing much, considering the amount of alcohol Tony drank. He only takes a few bites, mostly drinking water.

They watch TV together. One of the channels is airing Star Wars, which brings back the pain in Tony’s heart. He doesn’t need to say anything for Happy to switch to a silly sitcom. It’s stupid but it’s light. Happy just makes comments about the show, which does bring a weak smirk to Tony's face.

Eventually, Tony falls asleep without realizing. Happy must have carried him to bed.

When the former wakes up in the middle of the night, hoping for the previous day to be a nightmare – which unfortunately isn’t the case –, Pepper is spooning him.

Tony, albeit heartbroken, is able to breathe again.

--

The next few days aren’t easy.

Tony keeps pacing in front of Peter’s room, as if he were there. He knows he isn’t. Tony keeps the door closed, not wanting to remember the emptiness that he caused, nor the neatly organized, untouched bed.

Tony eats breakfast for one person. However, he finds some positive sticky notes lying around, which is what he usually does for Pepper when she’s home. When she has time, she texts him to ask how he’s doing. Rhodey does the same, sometimes complaining about work to cheer Tony up. Happy, of course, keeps in touch with him as they usually do.

The mechanic hasn’t been in the workshop lately. The rare times he does go inside, it’s only to check on his bots. DUM-E looks sad. He misses Peter, too.

Tony drinks water. He watches meaningless movies. Just those he can distract himself without thinking too hard. Sometimes he goes outside to get some air.

He’s aware that Peter is going on patrol these days. Tony avoids checking the Baby Monitor 24/7. If anything, Karen and F.R.I.D.A.Y will let him know if the kid is in trouble. Fortunately, Peter doesn’t get badly hurt, and Tony could not be more relieved.

The boy is still giving his reports to Happy. Peter seems to be doing well overall.

Tony does freeze when he gets a text from May. He thinks he’s screwed, but she doesn’t appear to hate him. She doesn’t ask what happened, and Tony doesn’t know what Peter must have told her. Still, May hopes he’s doing okay, and that he and Peter figure things out, even if it takes some time. Tony appreciates the kind words, though he also apologizes to her. He tells her she does a great job raising Peter.

A week goes by. Peter doesn’t stay over the weekend. Nothing goes wrong in patrol. He seems okay.

That’s all Tony wants.

Even if he’s not part of Peter’s life.

--

It’s the second week without directly talking to Peter.

It’s almost the same as the last one. The difference being that Pepper, Rhodey and Happy came over and they ordered burgers. They shared a lot of laughs and old stories. Tony hasn’t been as flamboyant as he usually is, but he feels much lighter, even if the melancholy and loneliness persist.

At least Tony isn’t glued to his phone or any other screen to check on Peter. He’s doing better, trying to focus on himself like Happy suggested.

The weekend comes along again and he’s not even really thinking about his plans, when he hears a familiar ringtone. The Ramones song that he hasn’t heard in a while. Tony thinks he’s just hearing things, only to see the contact on the screen. The goofy face Peter chose as his contact photo… Tony never thought he’d see it again.

“Peter?” He picks up. He hates how shocked he sounds. Tony wonders if something went wrong and Peter needs help. Why else would he call him?

“H-Hi, Mr. Stark,” Peter replies. Although a little shy, he doesn’t sound to be wounded.

Tony strives not to sigh in relief. “Hey, kid.”

“Hi.”

The man snickers, “Hi.”

“Uh, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much, really. What about you?”

It’s pretty awkward, but it’s not forced, if that makes sense.

“Ah, I just got out of school. I was, um, talking to Happy, but I thought I might ask you first…” Peter is anxious. “Is it okay if I go upstate today?”

Tony wasn’t expecting that. He tries to sound as casual about it as he can. “Of course.”

“Great! I mean, uh, cool. I think Happy is already on his way here.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Yeah.” Tony smiles. “See ya, kid.”

“See ya, Mr. Stark.”

If Tony isn’t hearing things, Peter seems relieved, like he was expecting Tony to still be angry with him…

Obviously, the car ride is long, so Tony paces a little from room to room. He wonders why Peter decided to come over. Is he going to pretend nothing happened? Is he going to forgive Tony? Is he not going to forgive Tony? Is he going to say goodbye? But then why would Peter sound so excited to come back?

Oh my god, Tony’s mind won’t shut up. He’s trying to take deep breaths, but it’s hard. The anxiety is rising in his chest. Tony has no idea what’s going to happen next.

When Happy texts him he’s near, Tony considers waiting for them outside, unlike all the other times Peter stayed over, as Tony was usually in the lab. The man doesn’t want to face the workshop for now, and he wants Peter to know he’s welcome here. He hopes it doesn’t make things somehow more awkward, though.

Tony is a literal mess.

Anyway, here he is, outside of the building, waiting as though he’s that same kid expecting the black car to pick him up from school. Only Tony is waiting for the boy, he supposes.

Happy’s car arrives. The passenger door opens…

Peter looks the same bright kid, wearing the blue school uniform. He doesn’t come too close, but he grins at Tony, as if he’s genuinely happy to be here.

“Hi!” The boy says.

“Hi,” Tony replies, with so many emotions battling for control.

“Thanks for the ride, Happy!” Peter turns around and waves.

“Sure, kid.” Happy is smiling at them both, especially Tony. “I’ll see you around.”

Tony smiles back. Thank you for everything.

With that, the car drives away once more. Tony and Peter are still standing there, turning to each other and not knowing how to approach. Tony is afraid of casually touching Peter like he does, not wanting to disrespect any boundaries, so he just gestures at him to follow.

Their way inside is quiet. So many unspoken words that neither of them are able to express. When they get there, Peter goes to his room first, probably to leave his things there. Tony drinks coffee but with milk this time. He notices how long Peter is taking to come back. Maybe he’s changing into something more comfortable. Or maybe he’s preparing himself to talk to Tony. The latter has no idea.

After a while, Peter comes back, having not changed clothes, but holding one of his school notebooks.

“What’s up?” Tony asks, hoping not to pry.

“Oh, um…” Peter looks down nervously. “Well… I guess I just wanted to… apologize for not, y’know, really talking to you.”

It just breaks Tony’s heart, really. “No, kid, you… you had the right to take some time for yourself, okay? You don’t have to be sorry.”

Peter is fidgeting with his notebook.

“I mean, I was… worried about you. You weren’t having a good day the last time I was here, and I felt like I made things worse. That’s why I didn’t text you or call you, but Happy kept me updated, and I’m glad you weren’t alone this whole time.”

“Peter…” Tony approaches but doesn’t get too close. Even after the horrible things he said, the kid still worried about him…

“I’ve been… thinking. A lot.” (Tony braces himself, for some reason.) “A-About what you offered before I left,” Peter says. “Like, us fixing what I broke. But I remembered you said that it was already broken and you couldn’t fix it, and I could see how that was upsetting you. So I thought… what if we built something else out of it?”

What?

“A-Actually, I had some ideas.” Peter opens his notebook, skimming through the pages, until he reaches a couple of drawings. “I sketched them in class, but, um, they wouldn’t really serve any purpose. It would be more like arts and crafts. Not sure if you’d like that…”

Regardless, he hands Tony the drawings. The man carefully analyzes each one. There are many written notes in the middle. Although they’re simple sketches, Tony could see how much thought Peter put into them. One of them even looks heart-shaped.

“I just thought… it could be fun, y’know? You love building things. It doesn’t have to make you unhappy. I know you wanted to fix it exactly the way it was, but sometimes… it’s good to make something new out of it.”

Tony has been trying so hard not to cry in front of Peter, but… this kid went this far to make his mentor feel better. He doesn’t even have to say he forgave Tony. Or maybe he never resented him. Maybe Peter wants Tony to forgive him.

“I-I mean, we don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to,” Peter suddenly grows anxious, maybe noting Tony’s stunned silence. “I just thought it could help, but maybe you don’t want me coming up with stupid ideas and ruining everything all over again. T-That’s okay. This is silly.” He laughs nervously. “And maybe I should’ve considered you might have thrown that car part away, so I guess these are useless, haha! You can give them back and I’ll just go to my room–” He’s ready to take the notebook back and hide his ideas forever, and pretend they were never mentioned.

“No, no, Peter… these are…” Tony can’t help the sniff. “Kid, you’re a genius. A literal genius, you know that?”

Peter looks surprised to hear those words, and it kills Tony inside.

“Oh, come on, Mr. Stark,” the boy blushes, dismissing the praise. “They’re so dumb.”

“No, they aren’t. I love them, they’re brilliant. And I still have that car part, by the way. Even then, they could never be useless.”

“Oh.” Peter doesn’t seem to believe the compliments.

And it’s not his fault.

“Peter, you’re not useless. I made you feel like that. I ignored you, I wasn’t honest with you, I just told you to stay in the corner. And you did nothing wrong when you broke the car part. Whether or not it was already broken, no tech of mine could ever be more important than you,” Tony tells him. “I was unfair to you by bringing up the ferry, after everything you did to be better… and here you didn’t need to be better. You don’t need to prove that you’re worth my time. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re you, and… I love you.”

The boy seems to be listening now. His eyes start glowing.

“I love you so much, Peter,” Tony no longer can hide the tears that roll down his face. “Just being with you is worth it. We don’t even have to build anything. The days I get to spend with you, they’re my favorite of the week. I love getting your calls, your texts, your voicemails, you can tell me literally anything and I’ll want to know. You have no idea how much you mean to me, kid. I hope I never, ever make you feel otherwise again.”

Peter launches himself towards Tony, hugging him tightly, like he’s wanted to do this the whole time. Tony just squeezes him in return, hiding his teary face in Peter’s shoulder.

“I-I love you, too, Tony,” the kid whispers.

Their hug is a mess. And that’s okay.

There’s so much relief, after believing the other hated them this whole time. It’s such a joy to be together again.

Finally, going to the workshop seems to attract the sunlight it deeply missed. Tony and Peter start building one of the latter’s ideas, without any deadline. Tony remembers a happy memory this time, when he built DUM-E back in the MIT days. Something no one gets its “purpose”, but one of Tony’s most treasured inventions.

DUM-E is happy to see Peter again. He does his best to help.

Tony gets to build something with someone he loves. No expectations.

That’s all he could ever ask for.

#lotus speaks #irondad #happy hogan #fics #my fics #alcohol tw #abuse tw

[quillkiller]

you asked for rarepairs and i'm here to deliver (but tbh most of my rarepairs are from you and a few from other people on tumblr that you might follow) (also i'm not sure how many of those are actually rarepairs)

one time you made a post about sybill x bellatrix (i usually call them sybella in my head or crystalkiller) and i LOVE them

sirius and barty (starkiller for me but i've seen some people call them supernova)

i've read a sirius, barty and evan pwp and it was so good and the dynamic was amazing, so i love them now

does dorlily count? because i'm OBSESSED with them i love them they are PERFECT

lilylene (there is something so perfect about them)

xenophilius x peter (silvertail), i've seen a tiktok about them once and was never able to move on

roseseeker because evan and regulus are cute together. i don't think that they ever dated for a long time, BUT they were each other's gay awekenings and i will die on that hill

regupete. they can do no wrong.

peter was in love with james btw it's canon in my head not nessecerily required but peter was in love

BARTYLILY AND LILYROSEKILLER (i hate how marauderstok treats them) they are so amazing together and i love them aaaaagh

i also really like sunkiller (aithusarosekiller's work) them as childhood friends to enemies to lovers is amazing

THANK YOU IM KISSING YOUR FEET AND BUILDING A SHRINE FOR YOU 💞

1. i call them sybella too!! and i think about them SO often and miss them dearly. i desperately need to finish the museum/siren fic im writing for them….. also me and @sugarsnappeases are currently losing our minds over ritasybill…. like oh my god

2. sirius & barty: so like im a wolfstar truther through and through and its the one pairing i will never budge one…….. however.. i am so on board with sirius and barty fucking and honestly! i think they should❤️

3. sirius & barty & evan…… listen king. i need you to send me that fic

4. DORLILY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME. ACADEMIC RIVALS TO LOVERS…….. hear me out. dorlilylus college au academic rivals to lovers, jealousy, messy, staying up studying all night together, falling asleep together, triangle drama trope that ends in a throuple .

5. lilylene: i dont have strong feelings about them but like also. ask me again in a week and im sure ive created an entire dynamic in my mind. lia has talked about them and lia is always correct. kara mentioned them the other day and what kara says is law to me ❤️

6. xeno/pete: honestly……….. yes. i need to find some fics on them.. like i can just see it u know..

7. roseseeker: listen. i was thinking about this today and why no one (that i’ve seen) ships them …..? and why ? like the seed has been planted in my mind im sure it’ll take root❤️

8. regupete. dont even get me started. they’re literally my friends. they talk to me through visions. through the tv screens and radios. fat stoner hipster peter with autism swag and his mean goth boyfriend sitting on his lap with a resting glare face. holding petes spliff for him. peter looking so pleased and in love. what if i started screaming

9. no because agreed. i love this hc so much and i honestly love it even more if they’ve never dated. like i love unrequited prongstail so much oh my GOD

10. BARTYLILY!!!!!! LILYROSEKILLER!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!! i saw one single post about them on marauders tok and wanted to kms. i dont know what it is but the marauders fandom on tiktok are just collectively stupid. like not one single good or even interesting take ever

11 sunkiller is jarty right????? because ive been very pointedly against them. and vocal about it. but today i changed my mind out of nowhere and ive been spamming sude with their entire backstory……! like ive been losing my entire mind oh my god. im gonna check out aithusarosekillers work!!!! thank you<3

i hope u have a lovely night thank you for this ask 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

[kidfoundonstreets]

okay uhm the scarf guy and the pigtsail guy from yttd . and charlotte and lime from wh. and uhhhhhhhhh anyone from cinderella game

head in hands HIAAIIEY HYEHEYEH HAII ROBIN <333!!! TAHNKYOU please know the opffer is pen for you anytime.. anywhere.. smooches your forehead okay so i like the pgistial and scarfie scarf guy because theyre so fcuked up ina ll of the ways. i like how they make me wanna throw up and shove my head inside a sewer while inhaling fanfiction of them like toxic gas. that aside the angst and to put it simply fucked up potential in their dynamic is what draws me to them, i enjoy how complex it could be - your abuser could love you but not in all the right ways, it could exist, shin and how they care about one another with the idealistic frankly obsessive posessive view midori has with him as well like the cut scene of him c rying over shin HELLOOO?? anyway theyre silly to me. guy who lives in your house is also your roomammte old friend bestie lover worst person you know etc jerk weird weird satrange weird. i could write a lot more if it was speciifc but im very bad with words sooaoaahahdhwh <3 oh and gore chalrtotoe and lime are also one of my fav dynamics yesss horrible yuri. chalrotte never wnating to give up on lime while lime has al;ready given up for any sort of proper undertsnaidng she craves bwteen them, heyre friends but one wants more while the other doesnt, it doesnt even have to eb romantic it just hurts because charlotte was all by herself or maybe just singled with the others apathy toward semotions so seeing lime full of emotion and passion and pain who could get chalrotte probably also ironically struck a chord in her - and shes always worried for her, like she might go too far, and when she does she just starts crying. thats the good shit. a hoepless ending a hopeless dynamic but they kiss sometimes in my brain to make it worse. perfect. that cinderlelal game ,, ,,,, !! oh god please dont stirke me here IM SO EMABRARSED i dont have any ships in that game so ill go on with that xoxoxoxoxooxox dorpelts one ive been playing ! i really like how with shiloh theres this fake "is this true is this not" with him, you never really know and thats what the fandom loves about him whcih i agree its an addicting type of thang, and even in the end its not completely clear. all we relaly get is that its sure at least that he does value jb at least a ltitle or see her as of value, as she does end up consistnetly vomplimented talked to and by his side through the end. he cant have a verison of hismelf that isnt manipulative, long gone, and you need to accept that. theyre awful divorce. i cant get enough of it. jbs overflowing confidence and shiloh right beside her like a dog with a knife, begging for any sort of scraps because hes a liar. a mnaipualtor. like jeoekr! or kokcichi . ezxcept hes actually good . can you imagine it. ironically hes probably the most untrustworthly one there becausre atleast the others say what theyre thinking. shiloh is a mixed bag and every word has at least a little bit of a truth and lie to it.

ut thats how they like eahcother and its fun interesting we arnet here for a long time we're here for a fun time for nate it givess a bit more of a genuine perspective, im not used to jb being comforitng or nice tbh lol. but its clear that they atleast fiteachother even if jb isnt the nicest one for him - i think shes the only one who can keep up with his intense moods and issues stacked on him and his rough exterior. hes honestly a pretty decent guy if you dont piss him off whcih is easy. closeness issues. commitment issues. nothing is ever stable issues. i get it bro. the thing with all of these dynamics in this game is that they do somehow in a hilariously awful way is complete eachother, i cant say if any of them will end well but its obvious that theres chemistry in all of their interactions and i love love love this game. anyway i also relaly liked how with nate you dont kiss him at all and instead get a hug at the ened, its nice compared to shiloh who just goes along with everything and how jb is pulled to his wants at times (while with shiloh shes the one ofc usually taking all of the lead while hes the jester) - i think it really digs in how much he trusts her to go that extreme and vomit-inducing lengths at the end because he wants their kiss to be perfect qnd it isnt perfect right now. but hes ready to keep going because of this stupid bitch (jb). and i find that super sweet

#long post

[three--rings]

God, so okay, so, I want to say. . .

Pretty Follies is still out there as my hanging OFMD WIP. I never intended to abandon it, I just got two consecutive cases of major Ship Brain with new ships and then couldn't really get back into the mood.

Part of me told myself I would finish it before S2 aired. I remember when I updated it in January I thought: well S2 might air in March/April so I have time to finish this....and then nothing, and I thought well, good I have more time to finish this.

And now okay I have a Deadline.

But...for a while I felt like I couldn't write at all. And then I got obsessed by Shuake and couldn't stop writing for them, and wrote some stuff that got some VERY VERY nice comments that helped my writer self esteem. So I also have THAT wip hanging over my head

Because then I was in the fucking CAR ACCIDENT. And since then I've felt like I have not only negative writing ability, but I haven't even READ anything.

(A lot of stream of conscious babbling under here about IDK where I'm at RN...)

Like honestly, not even a joke, it's been three weeks and I haven't read a single fic. And like at first, sure, it was terrible pain and heavy medication and then it was less pain but still medicated and now it's not that much pain at all and mostly my normal level of medicated (cause not to forget I'm a chronic pain patient none of this is new to me.)

But I've felt so utterly braindead. All I've been able to do is watch Youtube and play very brainless video games. (And also partly watch and partly co-play Red Dead Redemption 2 with my husband which has been a DELIGHT. I've played it before but he hasn't so I'm getting to enjoy his first time reactions. It's a let's play from next to me, and then when it's too hard he hands me the controller to kill everyone.)

And I've basically been living waiting for TOMORROW which is when Starfield will go live (for me) because I've been anticipating this game for so freaking long. And my plan was basically to spend the next couple months doing nothing but play it.

But now...I'm like, also in a month there's OFMD. And I should try to write. And I don't know if I KNOW HOW.

IDK my writing mojo has always been a thing that is mysterious and does not respond well to forcing. Like, when it's gone I have to just do other things and it will come back, but damn it's bad for finishing things. And I don't even really remember what I was doing with Pretty Follies except that EVERY PART OF MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE with that bride wedding topper. That's, like, part of that fic's verse. I don't care. It's in there. It's what I'm talking about with Ed in that fic. IT's YES.

BLAH IDK IDK I should reread my own fic I guess. But also my brain doesn't want to.

It's weird how suffering is like...BAD for energy and artistic motivation. And I'm mostly just now coming out of the suffering and I've stopped sleeping 12+ hours every day, but like, also I have weeks and weeks of recovery still. So...IDK

I'm allowed to be lazy RN. IDK. It's ... annoying.

[lapetitechatonne]

Can I have this dance?

i am so obsessed with this ship, so here’s some more content.

ao3 link here

Kate’s Masterlist here!

Dani would never admit it, but she enjoyed being able to dress up on occasion. No matter how much she denied it, her time with Vlad made her like the finer things in life. Now, don’t get her wrong, she didn’t crave it like he did, but she could appreciate it.

Still, it felt odd, looking at herself in the mirror.

Her velvet, emerald dress was a simple silhouette, just slightly hugging her curves and a long slit up the leg. Her favorite part was the straps, which less resembled straps and more resembled a diamond necklace. They were a simple chains with beautiful stones that sparkled when she moved.

She put on the thin necklace that matched the straps, as well as a pair of dangly earrings Pamela insisted on. Not that Dani minded, Pamela was a bit much but the woman liked Dani better than any of Sam’s other friends, so she wasn’t unbearable. That was why Dani was going to the gala in the first place, Sam demanded to bring a friend and Dani was the only one Pamela could stand.

Dani slipped on a pair of long pearl-colored gloves and gave herself another once over. Her dark hair was pinned up, curls perfectly falling to frame her face. She liked the contrast against the white of the gloves.

“Are you ready?” Sam asked, her own silky plum dress catching in the light.

“As I’ll ever be.”

---

Mar’i could think of ten thousand things she’d rather be doing than attending another stupid gala. It was so unfair that Mar’i was the only person in her family who knew how to act at them. Like, get it together people, it’s just embarrassing at this point.

Whatever, not that it would change anything. The press was enamored with her every move as not only the first baby to be born into the Wayne family in how long, but also because she was the daughter of a model. Anytime she didn’t show up there were articles about it. Which, rude, where were the articles about Damian and Tim not being there?

Sexist press, with their stupid double standards and their stupid obsession with her.

She hated it here. But at least she got to wear a pretty dress. She liked pretty dresses, even more so if they twirled nice.

“So, any lucky boy yet?” Gag her with a spoon. “You know, your dad used to be quite the heartbreaker in his day. I always thought he’d end up with that Barbra girl myself. Funny how things work out, isn’t it?”

Mar’i focused very hard on not breaking the glass in her hand. God, didn’t these old women have anything better to do than gossip about her love life?

“No, I’m focusing on my studies right now,” She flashed her charming Grayson smile and the old ladies huddled around her cooed about her being so focused.

Mar’i spotted her dad out of the corner of her eye and excused herself. He was retreating to the snack table—not without her damnit.

That was until she collided with another person and spilled her drink on them. Fuck, this was going in the paper, wasn’t it?

---

Dani had no idea this would be so goddamn boring. She was going to die of boredom, again.

Everyone here was old. And annoying. And Sam had been whisked away the moment they got here, so why was Dani even here.

Dani ate another very small snack that she didn’t even try to pronounce, and contemplated just, phasing through the walls. Would anyone see her? Probably not, and Sam was preoccupied so it would be forever until she noticed. But neither of them had their phones so she couldn’t let her know she left without actually talking to her. Damn.

A waiter with a tray of champagne passed her and Dani was tempted to grab one but decided she should probably just find Sam. Escape plan or not, Dani was tired of being alone with these stuffy losers.

Why did they all have to smell like that? It’s like she’s walking through the worst perfume store ever, honestly, you’d think being this rich they could afford something better—

“Shit—” Dani bumped into someone and their drink spilled on her arm, soaking her glove and almost knocking her over. Damn, they were strong.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” Dani looked up and immediately felt her body freeze.

The girl’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern, her dark wavey hair half pulled up and half falling down her back. Her lilac tulle dress shimmered in the light—she looked like a fucking fairy.

The most beautiful fairy Dani had ever seen.

“Let me help you clean up, gosh I’m such a klutz.” The girl took Dani’s hand, and she could feel herself blushing.

Dani let the girl pull her through the crowd, careful to not trip on her own goddamn dress. The girl weaved through the crowd with practiced ease, her own t-length dress fluttering with each step. Was it weird that Dani liked the way she walked?—she’d have to ask someone later. Probably Tucker. He’d make fun of her the least.

The crowd started to thin, and suddenly they were in a hallway. They made a couple of turns that Dani didn’t retain at all—Pandora would be disappointed—before stopping at a bathroom.

The girl pulled out a washcloth—from where?—and ran it under the faucet. Dani took that as her queue to take her glove off.

“I really am sorry,” the girl pouted, and Dani could feel her heart beat a little faster.

“It’s okay,” Dani let out a strained laugh, “I was looking for a way out anyway. I’m not great in crowds of people.”

The girl looked up, her bright green eye almost seemed to glow while the glitter around her eyes shimmered in the bathroom lighting. Her smile was warm and welcoming, like she had all the love in the world to give.

“It can be a bit overwhelming, it’s it your first time?”

She put the washcloth down and picked up a hand towel, lightly drying Dani’s arm.

“Yeah, I’m here with a friend, well, really, she’s more my brother’s friend—but I um, I lost her. A while ago.”

She laughed, and Dani decided it was her favorite sound. God, she sounded like one of those bad romance books Jazz thought she hide well. She could practically hear Danny teasing her.

“I’m Mar’i, by the way. Hand me your glove?” Dani fumbled for a second before passing it over.

“I’m Danielle, or Dani—with an i—if you um, want.” Dani blushed, again, god what was wrong with her. Surly she was coming down with something because it was way too hot in here.

“My name’s spelled with an ‘i’ too, isn’t that funny?” Her heart skipped a beat. “Well, it shouldn’t stain,” Mar’i said as she ran the glove under steaming water, “but better to wash it out just in case. My dad’s lost quite a few shirts that way.”

“Well, um, thank you. For helping. Pamela would never forgive me if I ruined her gloves,” Dani laughed, and tried not to be as awkward as she felt, but it was hard with the way she could hear her own heartbeat. Usually, she couldn’t even tell if it was beating to begin with.

She was definitely coming down with something. A ghost sickness? Was the Gotham smog just finally getting to her?

“Well,” Mar’i turned off the water and rung out the glove, “that should do it, but you can’t very well put it back on.” She scrunched her nose and Dani had the sudden urge to reach out and soothe the line on her face. Because that wasn’t weird or anything. “I suppose we can hang it in the kitchen for now, we’ll just have to get it back to you before you leave.” Dani’s heart thumped at the idea of seeing Mar’i again. “Is that alright?”

Dani nodded and Mar’i beamed. Dani found herself grinning back.

“I’ll take you there, so you know the way in case you can’t find me later.”

“Lead the way.” Dani tried not to be too excited about going off with Mar’i. It was just because she was more interesting than anything else here. Yeah, that was it.

---

Mar’i walked out into the hallway and waited a moment for Dani to catch up. She adjusted the neckline of her emerald green, velvet dress, and Mar’i thanked the stars that she didn’t spill any on her dress.

It was a beautiful dress. The thin straps were made of gold chained jewels that matched the small pins that decorated her dark hair. Mar’i tried not to let her breath catch as Dani carefully removed her other glove and folded it up in her hand.

Dani joined her in the hallway, and Mar’i realized she was staring. She felt her cheeks heat up as they walked back the way they came.

“So,” Mar’i turned to see Dani looking around the hallway, “you know this place pretty well. Do you come to these things a lot?”

“I should, it’s my grandpa’s house,” Mar’i laughed. Dani blushed, and it made Mar’i want to tease the girl more. She looked cute like that.

“Oh, well, it’s a um, very nice house.”

Mar’i hummed. “It’s nice, but sometimes a bit too big to be comfortable. It helps that we have a big family, but still.” Huh, that wasn’t something she would usually say. God, she hoped Dani didn’t tell the press she said that, they’d label her an ungrateful snobbish socialite or something like that.

But, for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to be too worried. Something about Dani was just. . . it was different. There was something about the girl that Mar’i couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Like, it almost feels wrong to take up space, like you don’t belong,” Dani’s voice was quiet and there was a far-off expression on her face that made Mar’i want to pull her close, until she was completely present with Mar’i.

“Yeah,” Mar’i sighed instead, “but Grandpop does his best. He’s good to us like that.”

The troubled expression on Dani’s face got darker, and this time Mar’i didn’t resist the urge to reach out and hold the girl’s hand.

Her hand was cold, but not unpleasant. Like dipping your hand in a cool river, soft and engulfing. It was nice against her naturally warm skin. She took a moment to admire how their hands weaved together. Dani’s was a soft, cool white compared to her own warm brown skin. It was almost poetic, like those poems about the sun and the moon.

Dani’s eyes snapped to her hand, her focus shifted out of whatever made her look so sad. Mar’i was quite please by that, and even more so when Dani began to blush but didn’t move her hand away. Mar’i felt her inner flame flicker, warmth filling her chest.

They finished their walk to the kitchen in silence, luckily it seem all the staff was out serving leaving them alone.

“We can set them over here,” Mar’i laid the damp glove over the back of a dining chair, breaking her hold on Dani’s hand. The rush of heat back to the palm of her hand was uncomfortable, and perhaps a bit sad. Mar’i didn’t want their time together to end.

“Thank you,” Dani’s blue eyes looked up at Mar’i through dark eyelashes—and oh god, Mar’i was a goner. Yep. She had a big ass gay crush on this girl. “You really didn’t have to go through all the trouble of helping me.”

“Sure I did, I’m the one that spilled my champagne on you to begin with,” Mar’i giggled, “just don’t tell my dad. He doesn’t like it when I have a glass, but it’s hard to get through these things without one.”

“Right?” Dani sighed in relief and finally relaxed. Mar’i hadn’t even been aware of the underlying tension in the girl’s body until it was gone. “It’s so boring. You’d think a bunch of rich people could afford something more entertaining.” They both laughed, and Mar’i felt light in a way she usually didn’t at these events.

“It’s always so stuffy, it’s honestly nerve-wracking. I actually can’t remember the last time I had a real conversation at one of these things.”

The blush was back on Dani’s face, and Mar’i just wanted to kiss her little button nose. God, she was such a lesbian.

“Talking to you,” Dani shifted her weight and rubbed the back of her neck, “has been the most fun I’ve had all night.”

Their eyes met and Mar’i grinned.

“If you want,” Mar’i spoke before her rational thinking could stop her, “I can show you around a little bit. I’m sure no one’s missing us, and the gardens are really pretty this time of year.”

Dani looked at her, her crystal blue eyes wide and cherry lips slightly parted. Mar’i could feel her inner flame flare and she had to consciously think about keeping the flames out of her hair. Dani smiled, and Mar’i almost lost her control.

“I’d love to.”

Mar’i smiled so wide it hurt. She took her hand again and pulled her out the back kitchen door. They walked down the path past the greenhouse to the garden below the ballroom balcony. Alfred always made it look extra special for galas.

The spring breeze was cold, but not unpleasant. Small ground lights lined the cobblestone path and illuminated the rose bushed that had just bloomed. They were a mix of reds and pinks, the scent swirled in the air around them.

“Wow,” Dani said looking around in awe, “this is like something out of a picture book.”

“You haven’t even seen the best part yet,” Mar’i laughed. Dani looked at her with wide eyes, and Mar’i wondered if there was any merit to love-at-first-sight. Or if she was just a hopeless lesbian. Probably both.

They continued down the path until they finally came to the center of the garden. The beautiful stone fountain with a small cupid statue on top rained down water that sparkled in the low light. There were flowerbeds lining the rose bushes, yellows and purples contrasting the pinks of the roses.

Mar’i smiled as Dani giggled and pulled them both to the fountain. They could just hear the music drifting out of the ballroom over the rush of water, and Mar’i thought it sounded prettier like this.

Dani reached out and let the water run over her fingers. The look of wonder on her face was worth any backlash of disappearing halfway through the gala. Besides, it’s not as if it was the first time—and probably wouldn’t be the last.

“You can see the stars much better out here,” Dani’s eyes drifted to the sky, “but still not better than at home. Only a few constellations.”

Mar’i looked up at the sky, and despite being familiar with the stars, she couldn’t say she knew many earth constellations. After all, Tameranian space travel was far more advanced and useful.

“You know the constellations?” Dani’s face lit up.

“I love the constellations. I think there’s something wonderful about the idea of stories written in the stars. Like this cluster over here,” Dani pointed and Mar’i moved closer to see where she was pointing at. Dani smelled like lavender and rain, “that’s the Pleiades. The myth is that they were the seven daughters of Atlas, and Orion ruthlessly chased them. They prayed to be free of him, and so Zeus turned them into doves, and then into stars to keep their father company while he held up the heavens. It’s said that the Orion is still chasing after them in the stars.”

Dani’s eyes lit up when she spoke, her free hand waving in the air to emphasis to her words. The carefree smile on her face made Mar’i want to melt.

“How tragic.”

“That’s not even the worst one,” Dani moved, pulling Mar’i along by their joint hands to point at another constellation, “That’s Cassiopeia, and this one,” She moved then again, but this time she let go of Mar’i’s hand and moved behind her, pointing at some stars over her shoulder, “is Andromeda. They’re mother and daughter actually.” Mar’i found it hard to focus on Dani’s words when one of her hands rested on her waist and minty breath tickled her ear. “You see, Cassiopeia was a queen and she claimed she was more beautiful than the sea nymphs, and the nymphs got so mad that they asked Poseidon to punish her. He sent a sea monster to her kingdom, and the only way to stop it was to chain her daughter Andromeda to a cliff and sacrifice her.”

“That seems a bit dramatic.”

“It’s okay,” Dani laughed, “Perseus saved her. He was walk by after killing Medusa and used Medusa’s head to turn the sea monster into stone. Wild shit.”

Mar’i turned to look at Dani, who was still looking up at the stars.

“You really know a lot about them.” Dani blushed and looked at Mar’i, then looked away.

“I like stories,” she said quietly, “I think because there’s so much to learn from them.”

“I think that’s beautiful,” Mar’i said softly. Mar’i turned around fully, offering a hand to Dani. “Would you like to dance?”

Dani nodded placing her hand in Mar’i’s. Mar’i placed a hand on Dani’s waist, Dani’s other hand on Mar’i’s bicep. Dani’s cool touch was relief from the burning fire in her chest threatening to take her over. As they swayed to the music playing distantly in the background Mar’i had to focus on keeping her feet on the ground.

Dani was looking at their feet, even though they moved perfectly in sync. Mar’i felt time stop as a violin solo played in the background and Dani lifted her eyes to meet Mar’i’s. It was like looking into a swirling galaxy and seeing endless opportunities in front of you. Her eyes, they just held so much hope. More than Mar’i ever thought possible.

It made Mar’i’s heart sing and the solar warmth heat her skin. It made her want to fly above the clouds and just laugh with joy. Looking into Dani’s eyes, Mar’i had never felt so free.

---

Dani had never thought herself the romantic type. Sure, she read all the romance books Jazz kept under her bed, and maybe she liked a good romantic comedy—she was a clone not a heathen—but she never saw herself feeling fluttery because a pretty girl asked her to dance in a garden.

She also never imagined that a pretty girl would want to dance with her in a garden. Vlad made it pretty clear that she was unperfect, unlovable. Jazz and Danny and everyone always told her differently, but sometimes she couldn’t shake that tiny voice in the back of her head telling her she was nothing—that she would never be anything.

But here she was—slow dancing in the most beautiful garden she’d ever seen, with a girl that was way out of her league smiling at her like she was something.

The warmth of Mar’i’s hands took the permanent chill out of her skin, like she was a cat laying in the afternoon sun. It made something in her core purr, it wanted closer, closer, to the source. She wondered how it would feel to curl up in Mar’i’s arms and just be.

Dani looked down at their feet as they moved, too afraid that if she looked up, she wouldn’t be able to stop green from flooding her eyes.

The moment she did, it was like the world stopped spinning.

Looking at Mar’i was like looking at the sun, so bright and beautiful that it hurt. Her green eyes were so bright—too bright to be human almost, but Dani didn’t really mind. Because in this moment, Mar’i eyes refracted like emeralds and her lips shined like strawberries, and the only thing Dani could think about was if they would taste like strawberries.

Dani couldn’t be sure who started to lean in first, or when their lips finally meet, but the moment they did Dani’s heart pulse with her core, a rush of blood and ectoplasm flooding through her. The lips on hers were even warmer than she imagined, and she did taste like strawberries and something sugary. Through the dizziness and captivation, Dani pulled Mar’i closer, a hand on the back of the other girl’s neck, a hand resting on her shoulder.

Mar’i’s hand on her waist pulled her in, her other hand came to rest on Dani’s check, and she thought it might have been the gentlest anyone had ever touched her. Not like she was made of glass, but like you would touch a rose petal, searching and delicate and all at once. Dani decided it was her favorite kind of touch.

She leaned into Mar’i’s hand, pulling her even closer until Dani couldn’t tell where she stopped and the other girl began. The smell of roses and lilacs settled in the air between them, anytime Dani took a labored breath she thought it was magical and hoped it lingered.

When they finally broke apart, Dani could barely breathe. The air felt thinner and her world was disoriented, but Mar’i pressed her forehead to Dani’s and every worry washed away. Mar’i nudged Dani’s lips back to hers with a small movement, and this kiss, it was different.

There was still gentleness, but their grasps were tighter and hearts were beating faster. Mar’i bit Dani’s lip and the sound she let out probably wasn’t human, but Mar’i slipped her tongue inside her mouth anyways. She tasted sweeter like this.

“What the fuck—”

Dani’s eyes snapped open, she pulled back from Mar’i, only noticing a moment too late that they’d been hovering at least three feet in the air. Dani fell to the ground, losing her footing in her heels and falling towards the fountain. Mar’i grabbed her arm, but it wasn’t enough to stop the momentum.

They feel into the fountain, Mar’i’s warm body over hers. Damn—she definitely had water in her ears.

“Jesus, Mary, and fucking Joseph, what the fuck?” Dani peaked out from behind the curtain of Mar’i’s hair—so that’s where the lilac smell was going from, focus damnit—to see a slightly disheveled man running up to them. His tie was crooked and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days—maybe Dani could convince him he had a hallucination.

“Uncle Timmy!” Mar’i’s voice shot up a few octaves and Dani could feel her skin getting hotter. “We were just—i mean, it’s not what it looks like.”

Mar’i fumbled over her, and Dani admitted she was slightly enjoying it, before pulling herself over the edge of the fountain. She reached back in and heaved Dani to her feet, almost causing them to tumble back down. God, she was a mess. And now she smelled like—she didn’t know, stale water and leaves? Whatever it was she didn’t appreciate it.

“I can’t believe—do you know how many reporters are here! You could have outed yourself!” Tim—she thought she remembered Pamela talking about a Tim Wayne—whisper shouted at them. He was turning a concerning shade of red.

“It was just a little kiss—” Dani was going to try the ‘you-hallucinated-the-flying’ route.

“A kiss?! Most people don’t kiss three feet in the fucking air,” he threw his hands up before taking a deep breath. “This is fine. Everything is fine. God, Dick’s going to kill you, and then me.”

But why would ‘Dick’ do that when Mar’i wasn’t the one flying? Wait, could she fly?!

“Please don’t tell dad.” Mar’i walked up to him and gave him the cutest puppy dog face Dani had ever seen. If that girl looked at Dani like that? She’d gladly do anything. “It was just a little mistake, please Uncle Timmy?”

Dani could pinpoint the exact moment he caved in his expression.

“Okay, okay, fine. But you two need to go change, before anyone with a camera sees you. Otherwise, we’re all fucked.”

He ushered them back up the manor like he was expecting a reporter to pop out of the bushes at any time. Soon they were back in the kitchen and being pushed down a hallway that Dani hadn’t even noticed. It was a secluded hallway without much décor, obviously made for quicker and more discreet trips around the manor.

Dani could feel herself growing more anxious with every step. She didn’t know how she was going to explain this, and she couldn’t even think about Sam right now. She was so dead. Again.

Tim pushed them into a room—god, he had more nervous energy than one of those tinfoil hat people, he should really see someone about that.

“Okay, both of you stay here, dry off or whatever. I’ll tell them that you weren’t feeling well or something. Yeah. Something.” He was gone as quickly as he came with a slam of the door.

They both stood there, staring at the closed door for a moment. God, what even was her life? This was ridiculous.

“Um, there’s a bathroom through here,” Mar’i gestured to a different door. “I can grab you some clothes?”

“Yeah, that sounds, uh, good?” Dani said, shifting her weight back and forth.

Mar’i nodded and moved to pull some clothes out of a ridiculously big closet. Dani glanced around, noticing the circus posters and star maps she’d never seen on the walls. There were also pictures hung up on a cork board above a desk, lots of Mar’i with various different people. She noted that Tim showed up in a few.

Mar’i riffed around, throwing a piece of clothes on the lavender bedspread, and Dani realized that they were in her room.

Oh.

She was in Mar’i’s room. A pretty girl. That she’d kissed.

When Mar’i turned around holding out a small pile of clothes Dani was certain she looked like a tomato.

“Let me grab a towel before you get in there, feel free to use anything you need,” Mar’i disappeared and reappeared with two fluffy white towels in her hand. “Here, oh um, I’ll knock when I’m done changing.”

“Thanks,” Dani took the towel and walked into the whitest bathroom she’d ever seen. She closed the door and leaned against it, a little afraid to touch anything because of the sparkly pristineness. That was except for the vanity area around the sink that had a bunch of makeup products sprawled out over the surface.

Still, her dress was starting to itch.

Dani huffed, throwing the stuff Mar’i gave her on the closed toilet seat and began peeling off her wet dress. The body-shaping undergarments underneath were even harder to get off than they were to get on—she was never letting Pamela bully her into this shit again—but soon enough she was standing in the strange bathroom naked.

Somehow this wasn’t how she saw her night going.

Dani toweled down, enjoying the soft fluffy fabric against her skin. Normally she would just phase the water off her, but she already had enough she couldn’t explain. That was just asking for trouble.

After she was dry, she put the towel aside and pulled on the clothes Mar’i gave her. The top was a simple black tank top that fit well enough, but she was swimming in the sweatpants. Dani pulled the strings tight and rolled up the cuffs—three fucking times, god she hated being tiny—but she still looked ridiculous.

Well, at least she looked less like a sad wet kitten now.

Dani felt cool water trickle down her neck and realized she hadn’t dried her hair. She started by taking out the pins holding her curls up, which honestly didn’t look too bad. Whatever these Gothamites put in their hairspray really did the trick. She distantly wondered if it would hold up to ectoplasm too because Jazz would kill for some of that.

After getting the pins out Dani shook her head, shaking the curls from their spot glued to her head. She scrunched them with her towel, trying to preserve them at least a little bit.

Mar’i knocked on the door causing Dani to jump a bit. She was tenser than she thought.

“I’m decent if you want to come out. If you’re ready, that is, no pressure.” It sounded like she wasn’t the only nervous one.

Dani took a deep breath and stepped out. Mar’i was standing in front of a mirror towel drying her hair, only in a sweatshirt and shorts. From this view, Dani could appreciate Mar’i’s long brown legs and solid thighs. They looked like they could crush a watermelon—and that certainly did not have Dani drooling a little, thank you very much.

Mar’i turned around, a frown forming on her face, “If those are too big I can try to find something else, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think—”

“Don’t worry,” Dani found herself grinning at Mar’i’s concern, “they’re nice and comfy.”

Mar’i smiled at her, and Dani felt her heart melt a little.

“I’m glad, I still can’t believe that—well, ya know.” Mar’i slouched, her eyes focused on her feet and it didn’t suit the girl at all. Dani decided that Mar’i should never be unhappy or worried, at least not as long as she could help it. Not when her smile was pure sunlight.

“I’m so sorry about that—” Dani began, only to be cut off by Mar’i’s frantic voice.

“You’re sorry, I’m sorry. You never would have lost balance if I hadn’t. . .” Mar’i gestured to the air with her hands, looking genuinely distraught—which only confused Dani.

“That wasn’t your fault, I’m not very good at. . .” Dani gestured to the ground and hoped she conveyed something meaningful.

“Still, I should have been more careful.” If Dani was confused before, she was lost now. Did Mar’i think she was the one that made them float? It wasn’t like kissing Dani would unlock hidden powers—

Oh.

“Can you—ya know?” Dani gestured to the air again. Mar’i tiled her head, her sad expression replaced with confusion.

“Can you?” Mar’i squinted her eyes at Dani.

They stared at each other, the height difference between them becoming very apparent. It hadn’t been bad when she was in her heels, but Dani will be the first to admit that she got the short gene and Mar’i had very nice, very long legs. The other girl stood almost a whole head taller than Dani.

It was kind of hot. Damnit—dumb gay brain, focus. Flying. Right the flying.

“I mean,” Dani had no idea where she was going with this sentence, “I thought that I did the thing, but if you thought that you did the thing, then we both. . .” Nowhere good that’s where. “Ya know. So that means. . .” Dani trailed off.

She had no idea what she was saying. Why did she start talking again?

“I think I get it,” Mar’i said—which, that made one of them—and moved closer so Dani had to look up at her, “so that means we’re. . . I mean we’re the same, I guess?”

Dani frown her eyebrows and tilted her head. “So you’re a—”

“Alien.”

“—ghost?”

Oh, they fucked up. Dani could tell Mar’i was thinking the same thing by the look on her face. It took seconds for it to morph into a concerned frown.

“Wait,” Mar’i reached out slowly giving Dani more than enough time to pull away and grabbed her hand. She gently turned it over, palm up, like she was examining it. When she looked back up Dani thought her eyes looked mistier than before. “You’re—you’re dead?”

She said it like Dani told her she forgot her inhaler, concerned but not overly worried. It made Dani giggle a bit.

“Half. Half-dead. A halfa.” Dani could see the wheels turning in Mar’i’s head. She reached out and took Mar’i’s other hand. “Don’t think about it too hard, it’ll hurt your head,” She placed Mar’i’s warm hand over her heart, and she couldn’t tell if the warmth was from her blush or Mar’i’s skin, “all that matters is that my heart beats. A little slowly, but it’s still there.”

Mar’i’s face softened at the edges, she released Dani’s hand and brought hers up to the back of Dani’s neck. It felt nice there, warmth spreading through her tease shoulder muscles.

“I’m half alien. Tameranian.” Mar’i’s words brushed over Dani’s cheeks and the taller girl leaned down.

“Guess we’re both halfas, huh,” Dani giggled, and this close she could feel the laughter in Mar’i’s chest.

Dani looked up, and once again saw a soft green glow from Mar’i’s eyes.

“You’re eyes. . .” She trailed off, unsure if she was imagining the glow.

“They glow,” Mar’i laughed again, “we hide them with a holo-projector, secret identities, and all that.”

Dani reached up a hand to cup Mar’i’s cheek, “Mine glow too.”

Mar’i smiled and lifted her hand from the back of Dani’s neck to her ear. She pressed her forefinger against her earing, and Dani heard a soft beep before watching the holograph around Mar’i’s eyes fizzle out.

They were so green. Her eye whites were actually a soft green, her iris was a richer green, and Dani found them endlessly fascinating. They weren’t ectoplasm green, despite their persistent glow, instead, they reminded Dani of fresh grass or pine trees.

Dani blinked, finally letting go of the tight control she had over her eyes. Her eyes lit up and Mar’i gasped, eyes fluttering between both of Dani’s like she was trying to take in every detail she could.

Mar’i moved her to Dani’s waist and lighting pulled her in for another kiss. This one was softer, sweeter, than the others, and much shorter. They broke apart, the green glow of their eyes lighting the space between them.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Dani said, still a bit out of breath. She wanted this to stay between them. Their own little secret.

“Pinky promise,” Mar’i giggled, lifting her hand from Dani's chest and holding out her pinky finger.

Dani laughed breathlessly, raising her pinky to clasp Mar’i’s. With their clasped pinkies between them, they leaned in for another kiss.

#just some soft girls at a gala falling in love #pure fluff and i'm not ashamed #Space Princess #or Dani Fenton/Mar'i Grayson #Dani Phantom #Nightstar #dp x dc #my sapphic dream #i love them your honor #and they love each other #kate's fanfics #kate writes #dpxdc

[sillygreenrat]

I have some more smokeybat headcanons, got inspired now

#. Sam gets a big crush on Uzi, he wants to try impress her and hang out with her. So he tries asking her out whenever he can, Uzi oblivious to his crush agrees and hangs out with him a lot.

#. Uzi shows him anime and he ends up liking anime quite a lot, his favourite type being chill slice of life or the cooking anime. Makes him jealous they can't eat like humans can

#. He makes her a badge of their favourite anime character for her to wear on her beanie.

#. Sam is a talented artist and has a sketch book full of drawings and abstract work too. When he on magnets is when some his most colourful work is done. He has a very detailed drawing of Uzi he keeps special. It's of her in class reading, she looked so pretty that day.

#. Sam got a bit jealous when Thad started talking to Uzi , he could see Uzi seemed to like him a bit and was a little sad by that. He got more upset when N showed up because he could definitely see Uzi big crush on him.

#. He talk with Uzi about N and he encourages her to tell him how she feels, being a wingman.

#. Sam writes a love note to Uzi along with a drawing and sends it to her anonymously, hoping to impress her. He was too scared to sign it.

I have more if you like to listen to it

i am SO sorry for taking so long on these lmfao???? i really wanted to think abt these. tysm for sending me all of these delightful thoughts to grab and run with i would absolutely be willing to hear more

1 + 5: it was a crush that's been there since the begining, uzi was always kinda cute and charming, the way she interupted class with sarcastic wit on occasion, the way she would go above and beyond what the assignments were just to have her own fun. sam has always been the more quiet, shut in type, always following rules, never usually being the type to speak up or make a sound, but whenever uzi does something particularly silly he can't help but laugh a little (and boy shes a whole fucking circus so lemmie tell you). though he had to eventually start making moves once thad god involved.

for the record, i do NOT ship thad n uzi, i get it as a ship, but it just aint my thing, however im a big fan of unrequitted love, and i can absolutely see uzi just not being interested in the popular jock type (shes more into the silent stoner type COUGH COUHG(J)), seeing thad as more of a close friend due to him being so caring when no one else seemed to be.

unfortunately for sam the only time he was able to fully talk and get to know uzi was AFTER she was already introduced to his oil (lmfao)

2: this dude wants to eat so bad, let this man manifest some robot mac n cheese for his ass. its not 'hunger' but its like, some fuckin program malfunction due to the magnets that you could compare to stoner munchies but lord does he get angry when uzi puts on a ghibli or some shit and they start makin ramen or some shit.

on the topic of anime tho uzi would absolutely be into anime and try and get sam (and by extention N and possibly V) into anime

current hyperfixation is firmly beliving shes be a nutcase over jujutsu kaisen (would love the curses and their vibe of 'we wanna take over humanity' but the humans are pretty cool too she GUESSES) but i think shed also be into shit like kill la kill, evangelion, maybe even a smidge of ouran on the side bc damn it she wants to be surrounded by a buncha cute boys (and low and behold be projecting trasmasc feelings onto uzi but boy she'd feel a sense of 'man i bet i could pull off a suit' and she WOULD)

3 + 4: him being obsessed w/ drawing n stuff is honestly a small headcanon i had personally!!!!! glad its a thing for another person ugh (positive) he would totally pay attention to the characters she hyperfixates on and go CRAZY making her posters and small keychain hangers and such (probably has an old laminator in his house that he uses to seal the all to keep them from getting ruined). i like to imagine he likes to draw/paint skyscapes, trying to find really interesting cloud formations or spots where the moon shines through them to draw cuz he thinks that kinda shits beauitufl, would absolutely love earth sky's so fucking much let this man see them

6 + 7: N IS BEST WINGMAN. i ship all of them together in one homoginous poly so i can confirm this happened and it was real. would absolutely help sam before he even considered allowing his feelings for uzi show

#fitz posting #fitz answers shit #murder drones #md #sam murder drones #uzi murder drones #n murder drones #smokeybats #bluntbiscuits #smokeybiscuitbites #these drones take up!!!!!!!!!! #my brain space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ferperss]

Loved reading your lore so thank you for the tag!! @sportsthoughts

I spent waaaay too much time writing this but once I started I felt like I couldn’t stop lmao, so I’m applauding anyone that gets through it!

The story of how I ended up where I am today is a long and winding road lmao. But I think I should start by prefacing with the fact that hockey has been a part of my life since I was born essentially. There are pictures of me on a pair of skates at around age 2 when my dad first tried to teach me! Then I played consistently from age 6 to 14 but quit when they wanted me to leave the “girls” team and play with the women because I was intimidated haha. Besides playing myself I’ve also spent many hours with my dad on the couch watching Sweden play in any and all kinds of tournaments, worlds, Olympics you name it, and since he never really rooted for any other team in Sweden or outside of it I just kind of slowly fell into that same thing. I knew there was a hockey league overseas that a lot of our own players were shipped off to but I never really had any interest in rooting for a team that wasn’t team Sweden at the time.

In the winter of 2014, I was at the ripe age of 15 and I did not play hockey anymore nor did I care about any teams really, but two of my best friends at the time became OBSESSED with this one junior player and kept talking about him. This man was none other than Thee Mr Willy Nylander himself. This led to the three of us obsessing over him and we watched him play in the world juniors over our winter break. It got to the point of us picking fights with people on twitter that said he was a bad player and really anyone that said anything negative about our Swedish players hahaha. We had a group chat named after him and everything. We eventually lost interest and forgot about him but this story is important because it comes back later.

Flash forward to May 2023! Before I entered my hockey era again I had an eight month long absolutely crushing obsession with the TV show 9-1-1 that was airing on Fox at the time (ABC now thank god, I still keep track) that came to a screeching halt when the season 6 finale aired and I hated it. I swore up and down that I was never ever going to watch that show again and now that the one thing I had been so fixated on for so long was gone I did not know what to do with myself. Which sounds so dramatic but honestly sometimes I don’t know who I am if I have nothing to obsess over. So naturally I needed entertainment and as I looked up through the haze of firefighters and network drama I found that the 2023 IIHF World Championship in Tampere and Riga was on! And I had no choice! There was hockey to be watched and I sure did watch it. Now, it did not go too well for the Swedish team last year, which is okay. But one thing that happened was the constant debate on wether Willy Nylander was going to join in. His brother was there and his teammate Timothy Liljegren also joined in. But there was no word on Willy himself. And it was all they talked about. He obviously did not end up joining but all the talk had made me nostalgic. And naturally I had to revisit the old object of obsession and see how he was doing over the Atlantic and turns out he was doing quite well indeed. And because I am a sucker for team dynamics and narratives (who could ever believe I studied film for five years) I desperately clung onto the Toronto Maple Leafs like my life depended on it. What I didn’t know was that these were also transformative times, and once I’d gotten into the team and the organization, I was bewildered when Kyle Dubas all of a sudden was going to another team??? How could that be?? The Penguins?? And that’s when I found my way to the Pittsburgh Penguins, the power of Dubas’ cardigans and Sidney Crosby’s fat ass gripped me and now I split my time between my equally cursed teams like they’re my divorced parents. And here we are.

Naturally there are a lot of nuances left out of here, I’ve covered the key points but I think that there are probably so many reasons that it was the perfect time for me to get into hockey again and here we are almost a year later and there’s no going back now!! I’m stuck here forever. And I would not have it any other way <3

This is the end of ramblings and I’ll say if there’s anything I love more than hockey, it’s being dramatic, and also I didn’t spell check this at all so if it’s not perfect I’m sorry (I’d love to blame it on English not being my first language but it’s the only subject I’ve always had straight A’s in so it’s not really applicable it’s just me being lazy)

#still need fo figure out how I’m tagging my personal stuff #I was going to use #not hockey just me #but that’s not really true in this case so I don’t know #tag games

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

asoryuu for the ship bingo maybe?

Hello, Anon! 💗💓💗💞💝💖💕 Thank you for the ask; I love and appreciate you v much <3

Send a ship for the ship bingo!

Asoryuu (spoilers for DGS after the bingo sheet!):

Okay, Asoryuu is an interesting one for me because I just like. Don't think about them that often. WSLDHDK Let me just explain what I mean by the above boxes, I think I can be coherent.

They got the Romeo and Juliet box purely because they're in Meiji era Japan -- rip to them -- but Asoryuu to me is very... one-sided? Like, I do think they're half-canon in the sense that Kazuma is almost 100% obsessed with Ryuunosuke in some way, but I don't think Ryuunosuke reciprocates those feelings or is even aware of them. He strikes me as the kind of person who wouldn't get that a person's in love with him even if they punched him in the face with their confession. So like. Meiji-era homoerotic subtlety would just go right over his head to me shskdgsk. I know a lot of people point to the 'carrying on Kazuma's mission in London' thing as evidence that Ryuunosuke is/was in love with him, because he wouldn't do that if they were just friends, but idk!! I would do that for my best friend honestly?? Especially if I didn't have a path in life that I felt strongly about, and my bestie was certain that I was cut out for whatever was in London? And then they died?? Idk, I've always seen that as an honour to the dead thing rather than a strictly romantic thing. I think what I consider most important to their relationship is that they are friends and that there is love there, no matter what kind or to what intensity. I don't think the one-sided longing (if it exists) would affect their bond in any way, and I think that's lovely. Oh, and they got the 20 years box because it would probably take that much time of hinting for Ryuunosuke to even consider the possibility of them being more than friends, and because Kazuma needs about as much time to properly process everything he's been through and maybe start looking at Ryuunosuke through lighter rose-tinted lenses.

I don't have really have strong feelings about Asoryuu either way, and I think that's for several reasons. The first is because Kazuma... Does very little for me WDSJDGJ I like him!! But I wasnt immediately attached to him from the moment I met him the way I think a lot of people were. I felt a lot more for him when he died, but his coming back struck me more plot-wise than emotionally wjsgskshjsjk Ryuunosuke, on the other hand, is my favourite attorney ever. I love him SO much, so like. Very uneven set of priorities here. Another reason is because I generally don't like devotion? When it comes to ships? I find it weird, and, while I think Kazuma has a pretty grounded view of Ryuunosuke, there's definitely a bit of that 'you saved me' narrative happening that I think they'll need to work through first.

The final, and probably largest reason to why I don't feel anything for them, is because it has a tendency of undermining Susato's relationship with both of them and her role in the narrative itself. I'm so. God. Ryuunosuke may be my favourite attorney, but Susato-san is my favourite girl ever. She is my world. I would kill for her. And, like, a LOT of what is taken to be Asoryuu moments/wins ignores how important Susato-san was in those instances!! Ryuunosuke carrying on Kazuma's mission in London? Part of that was because it was also Susato's dream to go to London! Ryuunosuke taking on Kazuma's soul? Guess who literally gave it to him!! Bringing Kazuma back from the dead?? He didn't!!!!! It was Susato-san who yelled his name and reminded him of who he was!!!!!!! It was in a cutscene!!!!! I am!!! Screaming!!!!! Begging Capcom to stop positioning her like a side character in favour of having Asoryuu standing side-by-side, swords crossed, the sun rising behind them when she's the literal deuteragonist -- I have seen the official art and things need to change.

And I would say that I'd like the ship if they did keep Susato-san around, but honestly? Isn't it just another thing she has to take at the end of the day? She spent years in vain trying to reach Kazuma, and then along comes this boy he's known for half of university and sweeps him away. Like it's easy. Like it's nothing. And of course she would be happy for them; she loves them. She has to be happy for them. There is no other option. It just strikes me like it's that thing with her father and Holmes all over again! it's just another relationship she has to accept, and!! Hasn't she done enough?!?!??! God. Her.

#idk how it got this long when my opinion about them is literally just 👍 but. im sorry. hskshsksb devolved a bit into a susato-san rant #and im sorry for that too. ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK I AM 💕💞💖💞💖💓♥️❤️💘💖 I love thinking about the DGS gang so this was a #delight. thank you<3 #asks #asoryuu #asks for the notebook #ship bingo

[ishouldsleepbut]

Pt 2 of my kinnes + appreciation of Frances Janvier

*This contains spoilers for Radio Silence by Alice Oseman and it's also a long post sorry*

So I just finished Radio Silence by Alice Oseman (which is fucking amazing, pls go read it if you haven't), and ooh boy. I got myself another kin. This time the lucky one is Frances Janvier.

At first, Frances seems like you typical overachiever: head girl, A's on every test, almost no hobbies (unless you count studying) and she wants to go to a prestigious college (this time it's Cambridge). Secretly though, she's an artist who obsesses over and posts fanart about her favorite podcast, Universe City. Over the course of the story, we see Frances works her ass off trying to get into Cambridge for English Lit. She says when she's not doing homework, she feels like she's wasting time (I know that feeling). I'm gonna quote a line from the book that really hit me hard.

Context: Frances is on the train to Cambridge for her interviews. "Everything I'd ever done at school had come down to this... What else were you supposed to do when you got the best grades in the class, without fail, every single year? Why would I waste an opportunity like this?". Frances continuously reiterates that if she doesn't get into Cambridge, all of her hard work and studying a subject that she doesn't even LIKE will be for nothing.

And like, as a so-called "smart kid", that hit fucking hard. It genuinely feels like your whole personality is just getting good grades which is a problem because school doesn't last forever. No one in their twenties remembers what they got on their 7th-grade math finals. And so when gifted kids like me take a step back, they realize "Oh shit, I don't know who I am anymore". Because when so much of your life revolves around being perfect over and over again, taking every opportunity to get higher academic achievements, you forget that it's ok to be human. It's ok to not get everything right, it's ok to do other stuff instead of studying, and it's ok to fail. And that is such a hard lesson to learn because it has been ingrained in our brains by either ourselves or the people around us that failing is the worst thing you can do. Just… reading Frances break down when she found out she didn't get accepted to Cambridge… I cried. Like actually cried. (God this book is so good, seriously, go read it.)

I also want to talk about Frances' relationship with the podcast Universe City and fandom stuff in general. Frances is a huge fan of this podcast and she even regularly posts fanart of it on Tumblr. No one knows about this though, as Frances is scared of people finding out. She's afraid people will think she's just a fandom-obsessed weirdo. Frances even feels like there are two parts to her: School Frances and Real Frances. This ties back into the whole "being perfect" thing. I feel like a lot of gifted kids relate to this (read I relate to this) because you feel like you have to be correct and perfect all the time. You can't ever show your "weird" side because then people might not take you seriously (especially when you're a racial, ethnic, or gender minority) or they'll judge you for it. Like I'm in a lot of fandoms. I read fanfiction. I make edits and fanart. Hell, I've even watched those gatcha life "characters react to themselves" videos. And a lot of the stuff I've mentioned is so stigmatized that I feel like a lot of us have just taken to hiding it. I honestly don't tell a lot of my friends about the fanfics I read or what ships I like or my headcanons for specific characters. If I share those things with you, that means I really trust you (...or I don't know you and I'm posting it on Tumblr).

And honestly, that's why I love Tumblr because I can just talk about my silly headcanons for x character and gush over some cute fanart. If someone sees and likes my posts, great. I'm glad you liked it. But if not that's ok.

Well, congrats for making it to the end of this hella-long post. Thanks for listening to me ramble for a little bit about some personal stuffs. Pls read radio silence if you haven't, it's so good. It and Frances need more appreciation because they are both so awesome.

#long post #osemanverse #radio silence #frances janvier #veero rambles #APPRECIATE FRANCES SHE'S SO COOL #LOOK AT HER #<3333 #if you're still reading thanks for listening to me ramble #love you guys

[vryivs]

Shipper tag game

tagged by @tiesanjiaoshenanigans <33

What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

oh god i dont even know. probably any silm ship i liked since i just outgrew that part of my life organically and also dennor probably?

Which ship would you consider your first one?

percabeth easily

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

it was dennor hetalia

Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?

most likely percabeth since i got tumblr literally just to follow viria for the art

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

yes i was 13 and i didnt like fruk. i made an apology drawing that said 'im sorry fruk shippers' on a sign being held up by a sad girl. i was 13. since then? not really. i dont tend to have the time or energy to actively argue with people i disagree with. to me theres no point + it doesnt matter

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

im opinionated so absolutely!! didnt like hk/iceland (hetalia) or fruk (hetalia again lol). didnt like yuri/otabek (yoi), most byleth/student ships (femblem), jeanluc (when i was into genshin). currently dont like renheng (it's just not my thing), jing yuan/fu xuan (also not my thing) or dan heng/anyone tbh (although i make exceptions for tb). i dont have any massive reasons for disliking them theyre just either not my thing or dont align with my hcs (shrug)

any jing yuan/hcq feels vaguely icky to me because they knew him as a teenager while they were adults (aside from yingxing since his age is more ambiguous and it seems like he mightve grown up at the same time jy did?)

Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

brb checking my ao3 history

oh my god is was a fucking dddne dabi/hawks fic i found when i was looking through trans tags. i havent read or watched mha it just sounded interesting. i liked it and its here if you want to read it (mind the tags)

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

weirdly no massive ones for hsr which is my main fandom. i have ships i like tho!! kafblade, stellemarch and bronseele. also i think clara/yanqing is adorable in concept. arranging playdates between my daughter and jing yuans son. i also think voidwelt would be really interesting

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

not rlly!! i tend not to care too much about canon when it comes to shipping, so i hardly even pay it attention

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

not rlly!! if there is i cant remember them

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

any rpf ship tbh. i honestly think rpf is fine as long as you dont project its contents onto the very real people it's based off of.

What is your favorite crack ship?

velite/argenti

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

i dont read fanfic v often (combination of bad attention span, really specific tastes, etc) but when i do its usually sansang, seongjoong, or whatever ship fic @tiesanjiaoshenanigans or @kireinalix ask me to beta are hehe

What do most of your ships usually have in common?

this is a good question and i dont really know the answer. my taste tends to favour characters who make a good parental unit (seongjoong, jingliu/baiheng), but i also enjoy the dynamics of amoral pairs (kafblade), as well as goofy lesbians having a good time (stellemarch)

What you absolutely hate in a ship?

if its boring tbh. if something feels boring or overdone im p much guaranteed not to like it. like jeanluc? theyre just boring to me. i also really dont enjoy the 'i knew you when you were a kid and then you grew up hot and now we're dating' thing

tagging @himbodevotee @morifiinwe @shineoftherainbow @kireinalix @aowyn and anyone else who follows me :3

#iv.txt #tagged