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clumsyclifford · 4 years

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3, 6, 11 for Brazil fic :) 💗

maybe i love you em. maybe i just love you side note jesus christ this got long sorry

brazil fic

3: What’s your favorite line of narration? okay had to scroll thru the fic to decide i have landed on three theyre not even lines theyre full paragraphs dfkgjdfkgj sorry ive never followed a rule in my life

“This is so cool,” Calum breathes, as they’re standing looking over the edge. Michael would agree if he weren’t breathless himself. There’s something so incredibly humbling about staring over the edge of a mountain and seeing a sprawling city in front of you, cramped buildings punctuated with looming mountains — “Dois irmãos, the two brothers,” Calum says, pointing, “and that’s Sugarloaf mountain, which I forget the Portuguese name for.” Michael wraps an arm around Calum’s waist and pulls him tight against his side. He’s helpless against the existentialism, but not against the feeling of being alone.

me romanticizing brazil because i am literally in love with rio and i miss her so very much and i like the way looking down at it can make you feel so small in such an empty beautiful way

Somehow, the sunset paints layers into the sky, pink purple blue orange stacked on top of each other. Michael watches the colors melt as he polishes off his ice cream. It looks too picturesque, just like most of Rio, like if he were carrying a better camera he could just start selling postcards from his own photos. “God, this is pretty,” he exhales, one hand in Calum’s. “Almost the best first date ever.”

this part is taken straight out of my memory possibly more than any other part of this fic i have an extremely distinct memory of once walking by the beach and the sun setting and me watching the sky with all of these gorgeous colors melting into one another and thinking god, there is literally no way to put this into words. and then i did it anyway akdjgkdj

[...] It’ll be weird on tour, probably, trying to navigate this new landscape of, like, being in love with your bandmate, not to mention in a relationship with him, but — it’s worth it, is the thing. It’s worth it, all of it is. Terrifyingly, even losing the band might be worth it, if it comes to that. Which it won’t, of course it won’t, but it scares Michael a little bit that he’d be willing to make that sacrifice after they’ve worked so hard for this, all for Calum. Calum had said it but Michael feels it too; if it ever comes down to it, Michael will choose Calum.

He’s eighteen and he shouldn’t feel like his heart has already been signed over, but here he is anyway.

just like the idea that he’d pick calum so fucking easily that they’d always choose each other over anything like can you say SOULMATES

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics? well for starters it is probably my most self-indulgent fic.........ever?? ridiculously self indulgent. and it is kind of colored broadly by personal experience (i would say less personal experience than acappella fic but more than just about any other one of mine). i crowdsource a LOT of things i put into fic because surprise surprise i do not have that much life experience!! but brazil is a place that’s really really close to my heart so a lot of that came straight from me

11: What do you like best about this fic? oh i absolutely liked best how many tiny little brazil details i could fit into it. i tried very hard not to go full-blown romanticizing brazil because i was TRYING to write from michael’s sort of grumpy, u know, jealous perspective or whatever but seriously. talking about the brazilian black-and-white waves pattern on the beach. when they mention the pão de queijo. even just naming the background OCs brazilian names. like......dunno if you can TELL this but i absolutely miss brazil so very much and it felt nice to just be totally self-indulgent i went down rabbit holes of looking through google maps trying to find stores and places i recognized. the hotel that they stay at is a real hotel and the grocery store they stop in is THE grocery store my family used to go to. so like. the whole thing’s just insanely close to my heart.

ask me anything about any fic of mine!! (please)

#when u get me started on brazil i do not stop #like i simply lack the capacity #not that ive ever known how to shtu the fuck up inmy life #but anyway thank u for indulging me em #i wanted to put this as an honorable mention cos #i literally brought it up yesterday but #the part where calum goes 'i'm never gonna get used to that i don't think'#and michael goes 'that's what all the rock stars say'#one of my favorite parts of the whole fic #dont know why cant explain it just really like it #ANYWAYYYY #jbhmalum #ask #answered

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cherylblsom · 5 years

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The Definition of Perfect - Ch.5

(A/N): Hello its been 40000 years but here's an update ok love u bye

Pairing: Cheryl Blossom x Toni Topaz

Word Count: 2,937

Warnings: some swearing & mention of death, that’s all!

Read it on AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

**flashback**

“I think we have a longer extension cord in the basement” Cheryl says from her position leaning on the wall. “That way we don’t have to reconfigure the whole design”

Toni nods and stands up from where she was crouched under one of the cribs, the other one is still in pieces on the floor but at least they’re making progress. They still had a couple months but Cheryl being her typical in control self had insisted they get the nursery all set up and ready as soon as possible. The room still smells faintly of fresh paint, Toni had finished the mural on the wall a couple days ago and whenever Cheryl glances at it a smile crosses her face. The background is a swirl of dreamy blues and deep greens with hints of bright colours poking through. There are various animals littered throughout the landscape interacting with one another. A tiger prowling in the background, a group of zebras drinking from a river and colourful birds soaring above it all are just some of the creatures. Cheryl’s favourite is the elephant with a monkey sitting on its trunk eating a banana. The words “the world is yours” are painted in cursive writing at the top, both a reminder to her and the future of her twins. Cheryl turns her attention to another section of the wall where the cribs are going to be once they’re both built, the walls here carry on with the jungle theme and clouds are painted above where the babies names will be painted in, they’re blank right now since the couple is still in the deciding phase.

“Cher?” Toni says again causing her wife to snap out of her daze. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah babe, just thinking about how our lives are about to change. Taking it all in”

“I get that” she replies, she comes up to Cheryl from behind her and wraps her arms around her before pressing a kiss to her cheek. The couple stand there for a moment, letting the silence settle in and enjoying the calm while they can. Cheryl can feel Toni rubbing her belly in gentle even strokes and she hums happily.

***

“Is this the part where I finally find out why you’ve banished me from the nursery for days?”

“Yes, now shut up and close your eyes”

“Hey now that’s no way to talk to your pregnant wife” Cheryl retorts and she lets her eyes flutter shut and reaches out for Toni’s hand. She’s lead slowly through the hallway and towards the nursery.

“Okay aanaand… open!” Toni says, she’s trying to keep her excitement at an acceptable level but she can feel herself beaming as Cheryl slowly opens her eyes and takes in her surroundings.

The room has completely transformed since the last time she saw it, for one both the cribs are complete and moved into their spots against the wall. But the walls which had previously just been blank or covered with a simple pattern were now transformed into an underwater theme, with fish and turtles and seahorses swimming among the seaweed and coral reefs. One side of the room remained as a jungle theme, the way Cheryl had last seen it but Toni had worked her magic and transformed the other side into the ocean. Cheryl smiles, tears coming to her eyes as she repeatedly tells Toni how much she loves the room and her.

“I knew you couldn’t decide between the two… so I figured why not make it both?” She leans in and pulls Cheryl against her lips, kissing her deeply.

Toni sits beside Veronica, her head resting on her shoulder as she takes deep breaths. She’s doing her absolute best to stay calm while the doctors help Cheryl and their baby girl but she’s starting to get increasingly upset and angry that no one has even so much as been out to update her yet. It’s been almost 30 minutes.

“I remember when I found out Cheryl was pregnant” Veronica says suddenly, she laughs a little to herself as she recalls the memory. “She was so upset it didn’t go according to plan. That I found out before because of her throwing up into a mall garbage can”

“Oh god” Toni says, she reaches up to wipe her face with the sleeve of her sweater. “I swear she had it planned out from the moment she found out she was pregnant. Typical Cheryl always planning down to the last detail”

“What exactly was her plan? She never actually told me.”

“Well I have to hand it to her because it was actually a pretty good idea. I tried to convince her to just do a cute card or something but that didn’t fly of course, it was ‘lacking flame’ as she so elegantly put it.”

“Yeah that sure sounds like Cheryl” Veronica laughs lightly shaking her head at the thought of the pair arguing over the topic.

“It was pretty simple though. She was just going to invite you over for dinner and drop subtle hints all night and see how long it took you to pick up on it.”

“Oh my god!” Veronica replies “please tell me she would have said something about buns in the oven”

“Yes!” Toni says, laughter escaping her lips. “That was the first one she came up with, and then every time she thought of a new one she would go ‘aha that’s brilliant’ and write it down”

“That’s too good oh my god, kinda sad I didn’t get to witness Cheryl cracking off pregnancy jokes”

“Oh trust me she was upset, came home crying and everything. I thought something was seriously wrong and when she told me I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at her. Such a drama queen”

“Excuse me?” The doctor suddenly says from beside them. “I hate to interrupt, but Cheryl is out of surgery. She’s doing really well”

“And the baby?” Toni and Veronica say in almost perfect unison.

“A happy and healthy baby girl. Your son is doing well too” He says smiling. Toni let’s out a loud sigh of relief and can already feel tears of joy forming in her eyes. “Feel free to go see them anytime, same room as before”

**flashback**

Toni runs her finger over the thick glass of the picture frame, when she pulls it away there’s a visible streak in the glass and her finger has a thin layer of grime and dust on it. She blows on her finger softly and watches the dust particles float through the air. A smile forms on her lips as she focuses her gaze back on the photo, it’s a picture of Uktena tribe her grandfather was a part of. Her grandfather was just a baby back then, there’s years of history in these photos. She puts it down and picks up another photo from the box that’s just of her grandfather. Thomas. He’s older this time and holding a jacket with the Southside Serpents logo on it. There’s a huge grin painted on his face, he was the founder of the serpents and together they gave Toni a family from a very young age. It’s been years since her grandfather died but she still feels her heart swell at the photo and tears starting to form in her eyes and she rifles through the box of his things.

“Toni?” She hears her wife call faintly, but she’s so lost in her own thoughts and emotions that she forgets to reply. “Where are you?”

Cheryl had just gotten home from clothing shopping with Veronica, because leave it to her to ensure the twins would be elegantly dressed before they’re even born. She walks slowly around the house checking each room before she finds the stairs to the attic open. She calls her wife’s name again but doesn’t get a response so she slowly climbs the stairs one at a time which is challenging with her ever-growing round belly. Toni is sitting on the floor of the attic surrounded by articles, books and photographs, the pale light of the attic is shining down on her and illuminating strands of her brunette hair sticking to her tear soaked cheeks. Her body is shaking slightly and she jumps when Cheryl reaches to lay a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry, I just... I was distracted. I just came up here to get the box for the nursery.” she says quickly, reaching up to wipe her cheeks of tears.

“Thomas, right? Your grandfather.” Cheryl asks, her eyes roaming the ground and taking in the contents Toni has spread all over the attic floor. Toni nods in response, reaching to dust off yet another photograph. Cheryl lowers herself ever so slowly to the ground and leans heavily against the wall, she opens her arms and Toni immediately moves and curls into her side making sure to wrap her arm firmly around Cheryl’s stomach. “Tell me about him.”

“He was the best Cher. Thomas Theodore Topaz. Triple T as the Serpents liked to call him. He was a founding member of the serpents and he loved me like no one else. He was the first of my family members to really accept me for who I am, mainly the fact that I like girls. My uncle… well, you know. I really looked up to my grandpa, he was strong and stood up for what he believed in.” Toni pauses to take a deep breath, she’s started to cry again without meaning to. “I miss him…”

“I didn’t know him, but I know he would be so proud of how far you’ve come.” Cheryl soothes, she kisses Toni’s head gently and pulls her tighter against her body. Toni collapses further into new wife and feels a wave of emotions come over her even stronger than before, she sobs into Cheryl’s body.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much baby girl” Cheryl soothes, she runs her fingers through Toni’s hair and presses multiple kisses to her head to help her calm down. “I know how much it hurts, just let it out.”

Cheryl rocks Toni gently in her arms despite the fact it’s making her back ache, she closes her eyes and holds her wife as close as she possibly can and let’s her cry out all the tears she has stored for what seems like years. The attic creaks softly around them and the dust and papers flutter slightly when a breeze comes in through the open window but in a way it’s soothing. Cheryl’s eyes open and land on the photo of the tribe that Toni had found earlier, the edges are yellow and the photo is fraying at the edges so she can tell it’s been well loved. There’s at-least a dozen of them in the photo, including a man holding a tiny little infant. Some of the members are smiling and some looks serious and Cheryl wonders what the circumstance of the photo being taken was. She’s pulled from her trance when Toni speaks up softly against her.

“Grandpa is the little baby in that photo. I just.. wish there was a way for me to honour him”

“You are, by remembering him and the legacy he left behind”

“I know but I mean more so than that, he had and continues to have such an impact on my life even though he’s gone”

“Well…” Cheryl trails off, her eyes flickering to Toni’s hand resting on her rounded belly. She reaches up and wipes the tears off Toni’s face before continuing. “What about naming our son after him?”

“Really? I thought we talked about naming him after Jason, which I am 100% on board for by the way”

“Well then it’s a good thing we get to choose two names each for the babies, hey? Jason can be his middle name” Cheryl smiles down at her wife, Toni has a serious look on her face as she takes in the info. She tries to argue but Cheryl is insistent, she knows how important and meaningful this is to Toni. “These are our children, our family. And I’d be honoured to have our son named after someone so special in your life”

“I couldn’t ask for a better partner or someone to spend my life with” Toni says, her voice is shaking but Cheryl can still hear the meaning behind it.

“You make me the happiest girl in the world” Cheryl replies, leaning down to kiss Toni gently on the lips. “Now please help me up and to the kitchen, I’m starving.”

Toni snorts loudly in response as she pulls away from the kiss. “Well c’mon my lady, I wouldn’t want to keep you or your belly waiting any longer” she stands and offers her hand to Cheryl as elegantly as possible and together the pair make their way downstairs.

Toni walks into the room slowly despite her strong need to see and hold her wife, she feels nervous all of the sudden for reasons she can’t exactly pinpoint but she’s determined to keep herself together for Cheryl’s sake. She turns the handle and a smile easily comes to her face when she see’s her wife laying in the bed sleeping lightly, the babies are no where to be seen right now but Toni assumes the doctors will bring them in soon. When she reaches Cheryl’s side she leans in to press a soft kiss to her temple which causes her to shift and blink her eyes open to the world, she mouths a silent hello and pats the open space beside her. Toni climbs in carefully and the pair entwine themselves as close as possible.

“You did it princess, you did so good” Toni whispers against her, pressing a kiss against her temple.

“I want.. to.. hold… our babies..” Cheryl says, her voice still laced with sleep, she’s on pretty heavy pain meds which are making her even more drowsy than she would usually be.

“Me too love, I can go find the doctor” she’s about to pull away to track down where her children are when the doctor walks in with a couple nurses trailing behind holding two warm bundles in their arms. Cheryl perks up immediately when she clues in to what is happening, next thing they know the twins are thrust into their arms and the couple is overcome with emotion. Toni looks over at Cheryl with tears streaming down her face only to find out her wife is crying just as hard. With the twins being newborn its hard to tell who they’ll resemble more as they grow but Toni swears she can see the same slope of Cheryl’s nose in their daughter and their son has slightly darker skin resembling her own. Their son is wide eyed and taking in the world, a small smile forms on his face when his gaze lands on Toni’s face and a small, happy, little coo comes from his mouth.

“Welcome to the family my little loves” Cheryl says gently, she’s holding their daughter close to her chest and stroking her cheek gently with one finger as she sleeps soundly.

“We did this Cher, they are so tiny and precious. Our little family”

There’s a soft knock at the door and the unmistakable click of Veronica’s heels. “Can I come say hi?” She questions gently, peaking her head into the doorway, she walks in further when Cheryl and Toni nod in unison.

“Ronnie, meet Theodore Jason and Kaya Rose.”

“Theodore after my grandpa” Toni chimes in.

“What about Kaya? It sounds Native American”

“It is!” Cheryl says, confirming Veronica’s guess. “We struggled picking a name for our baby girl, but the Indigenous peoples are an important part of our history - especially Toni’s. So we decided to derive a name from that and we loved the fact that Kaya means little but wise”

“It’s a gorgeous name. And of course Jason, a perfect homage to him”

Cheryl nods slowly, biting her lip gently. “I wish he was here to meet them, he would have been a great uncle”

“He’s not here, but I know that somehow he knows and he’s so proud of you babe” Toni soothes, she finds Cheryls free hand with hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. “One day we can tell our children about the powerful and important people they’re named after”

“Do you want to hold her?” Cheryl asks Veronica, steering the conversation away from talk of her brother. They pass the baby carefully and Veronica bounces her gently in her arms as she paces around the room. Cheryl turns onto her side carefully and rests her head on Toni’s shoulder before turning her attention to her son, she reaches out aiming to stroke his cheek but he grabs her finger and wraps his tiny little fingers around it in a tight grasp. “Hello Theo, welcome to the big wide world”

Toni smiles down at the pair and takes in the moment, part of her still can’t believe this is her life. The road here has been anything but smooth, but she wouldn’t change a single thing because it all ended her here surrounded by so much happiness and love. Her heart feels like its bursting, who knew two little people could make her heart so full. And as she feels Cheryl start to drift off against her body she thanks the universe for everything that lead her to this moment. It’s more than she ever could have imagined for herself.

#choni #cheryl x toni #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #Cheryl bombshell #veronica lodge #riverdale #riverdale fic #fanfiction #fan fic #choni fanfiction

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docboots · 6 years

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On Medical Judgment

Reading this blog, you may get a distinct idea I might desire anarchy. I do not, I simply wish to alert people to the problems of a broken system. I have had an odd obsession with fixing things for a long while. It seems to be one of the common traits of the decade, the critical eye and mind. While judgment is nothing new, I feel there has been a distinct increase in negative feedback with a sharp decrease in constructive criticism. This leads to this thought being scrutinizing, instead of a compliment. One would think having a critical mind is a good thing, and it is, should it purely be a layer.

Why I decided to ramble on this is thanks to an issue that has plagued me for a long time. I have mentioned ADHD plenty, but I am uncertain I have fully expressed how difficult it is to prove I have it to the ones pushing out the pills. Not that I could find any to diagnose me as an adult (Was diagnosed as a child just fine. Fling all KINDS of drugs at the kid boots. FLEE from adult boots.)

It is when they use my strengths to try and prove otherwise. School was difficult due to boredom. I would be interested in the material, immensely in a number of cases, but get bored out of my skull from reiterating the same material the thousandth time. So I began to suffer academically from my mind wandering elsewhere, namely the worlds that would eventually be detailed into my fictional landscapes. I would try to explain my issues, but most teachers reacted to me like a simply a rowdy child. The flurry of bullying did not help any. I began to adapt, I learned to spread my attention properly without losing the lecture. Teachers argued with me about it, even if I was minding my own business in the corner You know the types. See you doodling and call on you to prove a point. Problem is that when I proved I was listening I was being a smart ass or..SOmething.

Anyway, the point is how I eventually was able to start getting good grades… Much later on in college. To the point that in Morrison, sure it was a scam school but they still were pushing out the material and tests, was a school I managed to get a 4.0 in. Got a certificate and anything. Least for a period. See, at that same time I was (and am) still in my eternal struggle to be treated, given guidance, something from my ‘medical professionals’ that turned useless. 60 minutes of waiting after my appointment time only to get a ten-minute piece with someone impatient. Even less for someone who ended up pushing some terrible antidepressants on me. Including one that, even though I went there initially asking for help on ADHD… Though admittedly vague since at this point I had plenty of people accuse me of wanting to pop off and sell the medicine on the street. Instead of taking the fucking things for the fact my mind is like having a series of hyper children try to explain you different subjects that fascinate them all at once. It is disjointed, voices overlapping, chaos, madness, and eventually, one of the trains of thoughts get lost in the scuffle.

They instead look towards my records. Claiming ‘Well if how did you do so well in school if you had ADHD?’ Well, though I was certain I explained this (as well as you can with a medical ‘professional’ rushing you, having you take these written tests and then saying they tell her as much as looking at them through mud) it wasn’t easy. In fact, I wasn’t all that great at first. There was a period where I was fine and dandy… ish. That period I was on Dexedrine (hilariously, the one they will only give to children) before being shuffled through medications that you do ‘better’ but instead made me claustrophobic even in open fields. The academic achievement award I put on my wall isn’t up there because I consider it a trophy in standard academia, especially given the scam college that gave it to me, but as a milestone.

Even as doctors would refuse to diagnose, treat, or even give much guidance towards controlling my ADHD… I managed to get one of those. It had involved week after week of swollen limbs and organs. The stress of college does horrid things to HAE. Especially when stressing over affording your pot, and having to deal with that nightmare pre-legalization (in my state.) and more all culminate in one lovely festering stress god. Controlling your life through your blood, keeping you from going or doing certain things at the flick of the wrist. ONe moment you can plan to go for a 3-mile hike, the day comes and you have to cancel because apparently, your lower intestines are now the size of a golf ball, along with all the lovely little issues that likes to cause for the next few days.

So, yeah, it was a WEE BIT fucking difficult to do well. Especially with doctors like that trying to use my struggle as the hammer of justice against the drug dealer I am not.

This same rage can be spread so far with me though. Treated like a criminal because I use pot for my difficulties, to the point I have lost jobs or never been hired at all for a drug test because I wouldn’t take the things TRULY ruining my mind and body. To supposedly protect me from this green herb from destroying my mind and body. I haven’t hurt a DAMNED soul in my attempts to get my medicine, barring maybe ranting their ear off for telling me to meet them in a shady parking lot next to a bus station at 1 in the morning, leave me waiting for a few fucking hours to the point I search for them. Only to return to find my window broken into and my e-cigarette missing. My medicine would have been wonderful for the stress that caused, and the swelling that followed.

Against, it is fucking laughable the bad luck I have. Plenty that have had bursts of FAR WORSE luck don’t get me wrong. It just seems like I have dealt with a lot of uniquely weird and infuriating issues that made me feel disgusted, humiliated, hurt, or just... Confused. Most of which leads, of course, to the demon of Hereditary Angioedema barking in my ear. Then instead of some advisement, knowledge, or what have you… More often than not you get treated like part of a grander problem.

Now here is why I am typing this. This is the little cliff-notes bit of knowledge I want to make sure so many know. The thing I want to scream at the world. I just haven’t yet figured out how to do so in a short and sweet manner:

When the world has beaten you down; when it has slammed your cheek and face against the curb and you have the yank yourself up. If you, at any point, attack an innocent party in some way… If done right, don't count venting, passionate ranting… When you begin to treat them as part of a problem they never had anything to do with you have a very high chance of becoming a part of that person’s bad day. A story about their bad life.

I am certain none of the people I rant about were out to get me. They were trying to protect their careers (especially thanks to the deserved scrutiny the prescription business is getting), trying to go on with their lives, trying to assist others, or maybe just a little spacy. I am no better at this than anyone else. I have had days where I am so angry I am a walking demon.

I try to be conscious of it. I try to fix my situations quickly, try to contain my rage and leave it for rants on the internet where I don’t use names. Specifically, because I try not to remember the names of my darkness. It is the good things in my life I like to assign names and labels to. They’ll stay longer in my memory. And, theoretically, the darker elements would stand out so strongly.

I don’t even know if the medicine will be any better than the medical marijuana. Thanks to having to buy from specials, I can’t quite get exactly what I need. The strains work, I am still figuring out the...er.. ‘Dosage’ if you will. Though the best part is no fear of overdose. Of frying my mind. Of becoming an emotionless rock.

I’ve been through many flavors of hell. Physical, emotional, fictional… I have studied horror for ages and tried to think of every traditional and pop culture monster from multiple angles.

Yet still, nothing terrifies me like the idea of being trapped in my own mind again. Going through the entire process of getting and finding a medicine. After years of hoping and praying, only to instead find yourself everything D.A.R.E warned you about when it comes to the medicine that ACTUALLY helps me. Mind you, I stopped taking it for a period for fear it wouldn’t allow me to properly judge the effects. Minus when an HAE attack happened. Was my ONLY pain relief. As I am sure you may have gathered, I’d be opposed to opioids or any other pain medications that my fry my mind. It might be due to ADHD causing my dopamine productions to be faulty, but marijuana has proven oddly helpful.

Pot never made me feel like I was melting into the couch. My mind still was working on something in the least. On some of those medications? I… ‘heard’ them in my minds eyes. They were murky, in a haze. It was like you were expecting to watch Death Note but got the Netflix version instead, on a staticy channel. On a tv where half the screen is broken because some alcoholic asshole punched it.

I would just sit there. I’d hear the outside world like it was in another room. See it through constant tunnel vision. My thoughts all restrained. I truly and completely felt trapped inside myself. COuld move around otherwise fine, I just had so little energy to do so. Motivation, which already is a concept I struggle with, now seem just... Missing. I wasn’t just lacking it. I suddenly seemed devoid of the piece of me that care or ever felt such things.

The final story I think I’ve mentioned, but I surely will never get over. Two, technically, but they are short and connected. Disability requires a comprehensive packet on your health to be filled out. I, of course, checked it first. Even after explaining in detail and there being plenty of resources, such as official websites, for them to consult... They got EVERYTHING wrong. They even put, under how it affects me, nothing more than ‘When he is not having a flare up, he is a perfectly healthy 20-something male.’ Which, given the packet is about my DISORDER not those brief stints when I am not having a flare up... Not only that, they ignored me entirely and put that the Epi-pens works on me. When not only did they not, they just seemed to make the whole matters a hint worse thanks to suddenly feeling like I had been hit by a bolt of adrenaline.

Maybe this is why the last denial letter I got(what feels like a year ago since I filed for that appeal) claimed that while they recognized me as disabled, I could stand it.

The lot of them are probably why my sanity feels like it is dwindling. It is almost like they are trying to gaslight me. If this is true, all they are managing to do is give me confirmation the lot of them are incompetent and incapable of handling my medical care.

The worst part is all of this seemed to snap something in me. That 4.0 began to gradually drop. Now I am pretty sure I never let myself dip down below 3.0, but still... I stopped caring for that perfection. What was the point? If it was justing going to be used as a tool to cut away my personal achievements... I figured the one piece of paper was enough. I figured I shouldn't try so hard. All it lead to was pain and agony, then judgment for it.

I never seem to keep that thought for long, since here I am. Whining to the internet in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, my words can help pound away the problems in this machine. CLear the rust and stains. Maybe then they'll stop making me feel like such a broken cog.

So… Do you see the problem?

#Hereditary Angioedema #disability #medical professionals #real life problems #nonfiction #rant #anger #academic achievement #problem #education #morrison university #diamond

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envoutier · 4 years

Text

OATH ☆彡 Part I

b a k u g o u x f e m ! r e a d e r / / f a n t a s y ! a u

a/n: this was originally posted on wattpad but i barely ever use that so here you go, tumblr. ALSO, this has not been edited since literally february so i’m sorry if it’s trash. ALSO ALSO - do you guys prefer a second-person POV over a third-person one? please let me know so i can keep it in mind as i write more of this series!!

series masterlist

word count: 2,002

↳ in which the reader finds a mysterious creature in the woods.

~~~

1 9 J U L Y 1 5 7 . . .

The sun rose slowly over the horizon, shining on every surface of the kingdom. It lit up the cobblestone paths and wooden single-floor houses. It gave life to the landscapes and soft hills. Even the grass glistened as the light reflected off of the morning dew. It served as a natural alarm clock for all species, including non-magical animals, as you could tell from the loud calls of the rooster that sounded every day near this time.

The people were up and about, preparing for yet another day of working, exchanging greetings with all the familiar faces. Among them shot a bullet, weaving through the crowd. A young woman, oddly dressed in robes much too thick for the current temperature. Who was in such a rush in the morning?

The town square was lined wall-to-wall in kiosks set up first-come first-served for the merchants every morning. The girl ran through the crowded marketplace, dodging customers and sellers advertising their wares, occasionally yelling out an “Excuse me!” or “Sorry!” after rushing past.

“What’re you up to today, (Y/N)?” called a rough voice to the sprinting figure. One person in town was able to recognize the girl despite her disguise, even if it is admittedly pretty lackluster. The young woman perked up upon hearing her name called and tugged her hood onto her shoulders. She skidded to a stop and sent a friendly wave to the orange-haired man.

“‘Morning, Mr. Maijima! I’m running an errand for the Court Apothecary. Collecting something-or-other in the woods just past the Lycen fields.”

The man grunted in response and said, “Tell your dad that the thing he asked for is finished.”

She hummed in thought for a moment. “Actually, I’ll just pick it up when I come back from this job later. Father is probably busy in the castle with all his knight training stuff.” All she got was a grunt and a nod before the man put on his helmet and disappeared into the forge. (Y/N) wasn’t bothered by his lack of response. This was very in-character for the town’s blacksmith and she’s long been used to his personality.

Before she was able to disappear back into her clothing, a pair of women noticed (Y/N) and bowed deeply. She smiled and waved her hand, signaling for the couple to raise their heads. “No, please relax. You needn’t bow to me.”

The woman shared a reluctant look before straightening up. (Y/N) felt uncomfortable being treated so formally by the villagers, at least when she’s in the village casually and not on royal business.

She didn’t really see herself as a princess anyway, since she wasn’t even in-line for the throne. That spot was reserved for her cousin.

She continued her marathon to the edge of the town to the forest. She paused on the bridge for a moment and waved to the people ferrying on the rowboats below her. (Y/N) loved watching the water in the canal. The canal connects everyone and everything in the kingdom together. The water, in general, always made her feel calm and happy. (Y/N) could watch and play in it for hours if she was allowed. She always dreamed of one day visiting the sea that she often hears about from travelers and in story books. She leaned over the rails of the bridge and saw herself staring back at her. (Y/N) giggled and flicked a pebble into the water, rippling and distorting her image.

She shook herself from the distraction and continued along the path to her destination. The faster she got this done, the earlier she could go home and do whatever she wanted. Hopefully. As long as her father didn’t send her out on another errand of his. (Y/N) absentmindedly strolled through the remaining rural parts of town, forgetting her earlier haste. She waved and send encouraging smiles and words to the farmers working the fields. She had no doubt that they had been doing so since long before she had even awoken in the morning.

The once tan and grey stoned path beneath (Y/N)’s feet transitioned into a narrow dirt road. She saw the beginnings of the large bed of trees’ canopy and began her sprint anew.

The outskirts of the forest consisted mainly of willow trees, drooping leaves covering whatever was inside from the outsiders’ sight. Behind the natural curtain, though, streams of light peaked through the spaces in the trees, ethereally lighting up the forest. The falling specks of dust and leaves resembled fireflies, and the whole forest seemed to be teeming with otherworldly life.

Entering the giant wood, (Y/N) slowed down, panting slightly. She reached into the bag slung across her body and pulled out a roll of parchment. She unraveled it and scanned the items listed. They were all basic herbs such as Chamomile flowers and ginseng. The court apothecary needed them for remedies for common wounds the knights got. Since those injuries were definitely due to her father’s training, that was likely the reason she was lumped with the work of finding the ingredients, (Y/N) laughed. Though, it’s not like he’s the one doing the work himself.

After committing at least the first half of the list to memory, (Y/N) readjusted her large, white gloves and began sifting through patches of grass.

Having done this several times before and the royal tutor making her study the topic of medicinal herbs for hours on end, the job of finding and collecting the ingredients wasn’t overly time-consuming. Soon enough, (Y/N) amassed a fairly large pile of plants next to her, each one categorized and tied together with string.

How many bundles of basil did I need…? (Y/N) thought to herself.

She was snapped out of her inner questioning by an unexpected sound. It was somewhere between a shrill and a high-pitched whimper. (Y/N) whipped her head around to where it sounded like the noise originated. It seemed like it was just past that large tree to her right. There usually weren’t many animals that hung around so close to the kingdom’s border. She waited a moment, expecting the noise to repeat. It didn’t.

(Y/N) carefully placed the bundles of all the herbs she’d collected so far into her bag. She reached into her thick, olive cloak and fished out a small, intricately crafted dagger from a sheath strapped to her side. As the daughter of the head of the kingdom’s military, there was no way she would go into the unknown wood unarmed, even if she was a woman. Why else would she be suffering in so many layers of clothing in the summer heat? At least if whatever made the sound attacked her, she would greatly decrease her chances of getting injured.

(Y/N) carefully stepped closer to the tall oak tree, hand clutching the dagger in front of her in a defensive position. She heard the whimper again. Her eyes trailed to a section of brush at the foot of the arboreal plant and approached once more. She lowered her arms as she lowered her body to the ground, sitting on her left knee. (Y/N) placed her dagger back into its casing, believing anything that sounded that hurt couldn’t instead try to hurt her. She grasped a leaf stem and quickly pulled the bush apart, exposing the creature within it.

Said creature shrieked again when he felt the light hit him. He attempted to scramble to his feet and ducked under another leaf, but hissed as he put weight onto his back foot. All he could do was squirm on the ground, barely moving a centimeter a second.

The small animal was covered in light blue, almost white, scaly skin. It was just about the length of (Y/N)’s arm, not including it’s long, spiked tail. It’s sharp claws dug into the dirt as it tried to alleviate the pain coming from its hind leg. But the biggest part, or rather, the most attention grabbing part..

(Y/N) could only stare in shock. That can’t be what I think it is. Is that…

Is that a dragon?

~~~

I mean, sure, it’s not nearly as big as I’ve seen it depicted in paintings, but that has to be a dragon, right? (Y/N) internally panicked. It has wings! And scales! Oh God, what do I do?!

(Y/N) paused. It finally occurs to her that the young dragon had been hurt and frantically pulls out a roll of gauze from her ever-handy satchel. She reached out to the animal in an attempt to wrap their left leg, but the dragon hisses at her. There’s no way he would trust a stranger enough to let them touch him.

(Y/N) automatically retracted her hands from the creature. “Sorry!” she exclaimed instinctively.

The dragon continued to glare at what he assumed to be a threat and tried to back away from the larger human. In doing so, he once again aggravated his injury and shrieked. (Y/N) flinched at how pained the animal sounded.

“Um…” (Y/N) hoped that dragons could understand humans’ common tongue, otherwise she was about to sound really dumb talking to herself. “I promise I’m not trying to hurt you. I can wrap your leg so you can’t move it around as much since it’s clearly paining you…” She trailed off when the dragon approached the roll of wound dressing that laid on the floor and inspected it.

He attempted to circle and investigate the roll of gauze as much as he could without actually moving his lower body. After looking back-and-forth from it to the human in front of him, he decidedly nudges the roll closer to the girl. He follows it and steps closer.

(Y/N) internally freaked out. Does this mean it wants me to do something? What if I try to touch it and it gets defensive again?!

The girl took a deep breath and gently and slowly reached toward the animal. He didn’t move or flinch back like she had expected him to. She interpreted this as a sign to continue and she expertly unraveled the gauze to dress the bleeding cut on the dragon’s leg.

Upon the gossamer making contact with his open wound, the dragon let out a loud cry once again.

“I’m sorry,” (Y/N) apologized again. “It’ll only hurt for a second.”

She set the dragon’s fully wrapped leg back onto the ground and advised, “I know I said it’ll help with the pain earlier, but still try to avoid putting a lot of weight onto your hind leg.”

She really hoped that this dragon understood what she was saying.

The dragon stood up shakily. He curiously poked at the fabric covering his leg.

“Ah, please don’t do that! It might irritate your injury again!”

He looked up the human that helped him. He waddled forward and nuzzled his feathered head against her arm in thanks. (Y/N) stared in shock. Just minutes ago, this very animal was baring it’s sharp, predatory fangs and her, but now he’s snuggling up next to her like a tame house cat. She swore she even heard it purring - or, at least, the dragon equivalent to that noise.

(Y/N) looked up, suddenly realizing how long it had been since she first left the village to collect the herbs. She abruptly stood up, separating herself and her newfound friend. Said creature nudged her foot with his snout and looked at her with curious eyes, wondering where she was going. She reached down and ruffled the feathers on his head. “I’ve been gone for a while. I need to head back and give these herbs back to the doctor.”

She opened up her satchel to double check that she collected all the ingredients she was sent out for when the dragon jumped up and landed inside her bag.

“Huh? What are you doing, buddy?” (Y/N) questioned. Her only response was the dragon turning and using the bundles of herbs as a nest to rest in. She sighed.

Okay, I guess I’m bringing a tiny dragon back to the castle with me.

~~~

↳ PART TWO

#bnha imagine #mha imagine #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #once in a blue moon lol #bnha #blasty mcsplode

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miobambiino · 7 years

Text

WIP thingy for musicalluna

(This is my first go at fanfic and it’s pretty terrible atm so excuse any spelling errors and bad grammar but I’m trying my best lmao 🙃 I’m procrastinating from exams I’m sure u understand the feeling)

“I’m holding you to this, Wilson.”

Clint’s quip only served to deliver himself a considerably sized handful of snow from Natasha and a long-suffering sigh from Rhodey, who was largely consumed in a startlingly orange SHIELD-issue puffer jacket he’d picked up before everything went to hell on the jet.

Clint had his arm swung round Sam’s shoulder, Steve on his other side, helping the injured man trek through the snow.

“Gee thanks, Barton - hey, next time, I won’t step in to shove this goon out the way a hail of fire. You’d be cool with that, right man?” Sam shot back without much heat, gesturing toward Steve who was supporting most of Sam’s weight on his side. Not that it was particularly strenuous for him, being a super soldier and all.

“’M'not a goon,” Steve mumbled through a barely concealed smirk, “I could’ve handled it jus’ fine.”

It was supposed to be a straight-forward operation: get in, retrieve the data from the hydra outpost on the Winter Soldier project, and get back out. Sure, they hadn’t been cocky about it, they prepared well and took the necessary precautions; what they hadn’t counted on, however, were the agents to be armed with extra-terrestrial weaponry. Tony had marked it up to being modified Chitari weaponry. Apparently not even S.H.I.E.L.D had the scope to track down every piece that went missing from the Battle of New York - alien weaponry tended to sell fast and at insane prices on the black market.

The mission had gone as expected up until Hydra pulled the big guns out, literally. Hydra had concentrated their efforts to strike-team alpha - Steve, Bucky, and Sam. Since the loss of their asset, Hydra have been particularly keen on getting their hands back on a super soldier, or two. Sam had only just managed to swoop down to push Steve out of the way of a blast that would surely have immobilised him for the rest of the operation - only in doing so did he crush his left arm under his own and Steve’s weight at an unnatural angle.

Hydra weren’t incompetent, they knew how to launch an attack. Agents had hounded on each division of the team like a pack of ravenous dogs. By now, they knew what to expect from the Avengers, and were merciless with their approach. Rhodey and Tony had been disabled by an intense EMP developed for their suits especially, delivering excruciating electrical shocks through them, weighed down by motionless tonnes of metal. Sam had a clean break to his arm, and Clint wheezed with each step he took. Possible broken ribs, Steve had thought - praying it wasn’t a punctured lung too. Himself and Bucky weren’t badly off, though both exhausted enough that the trek in the middle of knee-deep snow was taking its toll. Besides, neither of them had particularly fond memories of the ice.

After hastily retrieving the data they had come for, they withdrew to the quinjet. The jet wasn’t much better off than they were, and in the mist of the battle, they hadn’t noticed a one piece of critical information.

There was a stowaway onboard.

“Fall back!” Steve hollered which holding Sam to his side, who had taken on a sickly grey tone to his skin. The break was bad, and Sam was only dimly aware of the situation going on around him.

Steve had his back, though. I’m gonna be okay

Natasha and Clint turned on their heel every so often on their sprint back to the jet, firing minimal but fatal shots to their attackers who were starting to get desperate. Usually, Hydra wanted to keep most of them alive; Avengers made for spectacular bargaining chips - or so they assumed, since it wasn’t like they’d ever managed to hold on to one very long (Bucky’s time as the Winter Solider doesn’t count).

Bucky was waiting for them at the bay doors, watching his teammates’ backs as they drew nearer to the jet, using a sniper-rifle to pick out hydra agents who were getting too close for comfort. Clint and Natasha eventually joined him, Nat starting up the engine ready for a hasty retreat.

“Colonel! Can you manage?” Steve had yelled over his shoulder as he neared the bay doors with Sam. Rhodey and Tony were a few short paces behind, both armed but weighed down by the armour they hadn’t been able to scramble out of in time.

“Worry about yourself, Rogers!” He shot back with gritted teeth; though the prosthetics wrapped around his legs allowed him to move his legs again, it wasn’t exactly easy sailing running through snow while under fire.

They all reached the bay doors, Tony and Steve scrambling on as it began lifting off the ground - they’d wanted to get Sam on first, Rhodey heaving him up from inside the jet. Steve hauled himself up with a grimace, automatically reaching for the scruff of Tony’s undersuit and yanking him the rest of the way up unceremoniously too.

That earned him a steely glare from Tony, who shrugged off Steve’s arm and stood up just as the bay doors firmly closed behind them with a small hiss.

“I’m capable of managing myself, thanks.” Tony breathed out as he brushed past Steve towards the cockpit where Nat was driving the jet forward. Steve watched as the smaller man sauntered off and hefted himself into the co-pilot seat, tapping in co-ordinated for the nearest landing zone occupied by friendlies. Steve huffed out a barely suppressed sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose firmly, pursing his lips tightly together.

“Didn’t say you were, Stark.” He said, mostly to himself. Since the ordeal with the accords, the team had shoddily come back together for ‘the greater-good’, as out by Agent Hill. Hydra may have crawled back into the shadows they had come from, but they were certainly no-less of a threat than they had been before. If anything, their recent losses to Cap and his team made them itching to strike back, harder and more efficiently. Steve was so tired of fighting them, a bone-deep kind of tired that permanently was etched into his features.

Cut off one head, two more shall grow in its place

A stifled groan escaping Sam’s lips drew his head out of the back of his mind - somewhere he was venturing far too often these days, and he came to his side.

“Hey listen man, I know I fucked up a bit back there, I wasn’t thinking straight. It really could of gone better-”

“Don’t- just don’t put this on yourself, Sam” Steve cut in, “the op was going to hell before you were down, we-”

This time it was Sam that cut him off, “I don’t regret doing it, hell, I know it was going to shit before I went and broke my damn arm, but still, I held you and Buck back. Pro'ly would’ve gone better if I landed right but,” Sam hissed as Steve wrapped up his injured arm, but carried on a beat later, seemingly ignoring what was bound to be an apology from Steve, “but, like I said, I’m not going to be sorry for saving your ass - again”

That earned a snort from Steve, who finished up wrapping his arm when Clint plonked himself down on the bench opposite Sam. The archer tisked as he adjusted his quiver, loosening it up off his shoulder, shaking his head slowly, “Can’t take this guy anywhere,” he drawled playfully. Sam eyed him dubiously, a quirk playing on the corner of his mouth. “See, if you landed on your own two feet instead of - you know - your fuckin’ face, we might’ve had a slightly smoother exit back there.”

Clint was clearly joking as an effort to ease the sense guilt he and Steve both knew Sam was harbouring. He’s saved Steve and probably actually given them a great chance of getting out alive - two super-soldiers is better than one, after all. Though, Sam had felt particularly useless while he was consumed in agony and had to rely on Steve to keep his head on straight while they made their escape.

“C'mon Sam, don’t flatter yourself, you aren’t all that hard to carry you know” Steve smiled at his friend, who returned the expression albeit slightly twisted in pain. “And he landed in his arm, not his face, Clint.”

“Huh, why’s it look all funny like that then?” Clint asked, feigning genuine curiosity. Sam merely rolled his eyes, nonchalantly taking his right combat boot off to throw at the archer’s head.

“Violence is not key” Nat’s voice rang from the front of the jet, not taking her eyes off the windscreen for a moment while she steered them away from any immediate danger.

They hydra outpost was desolate and practically impossible to reach on foot. Out in the wilderness of Norway, it had been hard enough locating the outpost which - like most of hydra’s bases - was underground. The landscape was covered in a thick layer of snow, making the mountains in the distance barely visible through the snowfall which was beginning to pick up at a reasonably worrying pace.

“We’re low on fuel, Tony, is there anywhere we can set down in range or do I just land us in the next clearing?” Natasha’s face was set with grim determination. She was the same after every mission, only tending to her own injuries until they were definitely out of the fray; not that she ever let on to anyone she was hurting. That had been one of the first things trained out of her - showing weakness.

Tony huffed in frustration, and smacked the dash fruitlessly when the systems wouldn’t cooperate properly. This was his tech, damn it! It should be fully operational no matter the weather - snow storm be damned.

“Nada I’m afraid,” Natasha tossed a glance his way and a frown made its way between her brows.

“'Nada?’ Seriously?” Tony just nodded in response, glancing back with a tight-smile when Rhodey appeared over their shoulders.

“God, don’t pull that face, it’s not near as assuring as you think it is.” Rhodey laughed softly, then directed his attention to Nat.

“Systems aren’t fully functional, though you’ve probably figured that out for yourself.” The man said as he shuffled into a seat behind them, leaning forward into their space from his seat. “Must’ve become compromised by stray shots from the agents back there. Best bet is to land somewhere far enough away from that mountain range - we need a signal strong enough to get back a message to base to come get us out of here.”

Natasha nodded, and began to open her mouth when a loud electrical whine sounded from under the jet. After a moment the whine grew into an even louder blast that thrummed through the belly of the jet.

Steve and Bucky shot up from where they stood, only to stumble when the jet shuddered unnaturally. Clint reached across towards Sam and strapped him in, despite the other man’s protests, and gripped firmly onto one of the bright yellow handles swinging idly from the ceiling of the jet.

“What the fuck was-” Clint’s surprised outburst was interrupted with the unmistakable sound of metal groaning underneath them.

Not a moment later the right engine startled to a halt, sending a few of them sliding into the opposite wall. The jet veered downwards, and alarms began blaring throughout the jet, seeing streaks of red lights across the interior.

Steve barely had a second to bark out a command to hold on before another blast rung through the jet, and the second engine failed on them. Steve felt his stomach suspended until it made a sickening drop and the jet plummeted downwards. Natasha unbuckled herself from the pilot seat, and in an instant as lunging behind the cockpit, hauling Tony with her and pushing Rhodes backwards with the force she exerted. Tony yelped before springing into action and holding onto his best friend, dragging them both to the back of the jet where Barnes was currently punching in an emergency code to open the bay doors.

Nat knew just as well as Bucky that they had a better chance of survival making a jump for it out the bay doors than being in the cockpit, where they’d most likely be skewered by the glass of the windshield when it shattered on impact.

The doors hissed open and immediately the team were encompassed my the freezing-cold air whipping through the door. Bucky grabbed onto one of the yellow handles with this metal arm and craned his head out the door, judging the drop distance from the falling aircraft.

His head whipped back to face the team, faces set determinedly, and yelled over the loud whistle of air around them.

“We gotta jump on my count or it ain’t gonna be a pretty landing!” He bellowed at them, while Steve approached him, gripping into his friend’s shoulder giving a reassuring squeeze.

“On his mark!” Steve repeated behind him, while Nat pulled Sam to her side, bracketing her body against his to insulate the fall in the hope of avoiding injuring his arm any more that it already was.

Tony felt Rhodey’s arm wrap around his side and pull his securely against his side. He wasn’t taking any chances of loosing Tony out in the middle of nowhere. Again.

Then Barnes issued the order, and they jumped.

More to come and this hasn't been edited yet but I'm trying therefore no one can judge me 😂 this is dedicated to my one of my absolute fave fanfic authors @musicalluna who's work I've been reading for years, but this is the first time I've made a blog to write too 🕊this will be eventual stevetony and buckynat

#fanfic #stevetony #buckynat #avengers fanfiction #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes #clint barton #sam wilson #james rhodes

51 notes · View notes

shrubforhire · 4 years

Note

All 65 questions

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? No, I believe ppl when they tell me they exist

On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 2

The person you would never want to meet? Trump

What is your favorite word? Flustered

If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Cherry tree

When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Yikes thats me

What shirt are you wearing? An adventure time shirt lmao someone else gave it to me i swear

What do you label yourself as? 3.99

Bright room or dark room? Bright room,, i need the free vitamin D

What were you doing at midnight last night? Probably playing exploding kittens lmao look it up its fun

Favorite age you’ve been so far? Being 11 was probably pretty solid, I would say 4 but I think thats cheating bc i dont remember it

Who told you they loved you last? My mom hell yea

Your worst enemy? God

What is your current desktop picture? Grunkle Stan’s floating “I eat kids” blimp across a scenic landscape

Do you like someone? Eh, not really

The last song you listened to? Dissolve by Absofacto

You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? I guess Jeff Bezos but I might as well just write [insert billionaire]

Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Isaac for sending me this

If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Jeff Bezos, I would have him redistribute his wealth

What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Ppl usually say my hair

If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I’d probably look like a fuckin manlet if I were 5 foot. But this question implies I get to choose what I look like, in which case I would be 5′7″ and buff as shit and I would spend all day hitting on straight girls

Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I can make my eyes shake lmao

What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Sometimes when I open the toilet im like ooh i hope no ones in there

You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. salami mustard and cucumber on baguette dont fuck with me

You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Guitar!!!!!

You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? NY babeyyyy

An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? I dnt even care abt the brand, just hard cider

You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Be nice 2 me

What is your favorite expletive? fuck

Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? My bass bc im borrowing it so id be fucked lol

You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My dad being alive rofl

You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! hawaii,,, infinite vitamin D

The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My moms dad, he seemed like he’d be chill and she misses him a lot

What was your last dream about? I don’t remember lol

Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Im not a good anything

Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yea

Have you ever built a snowman? Ive built a shitty pile of show garbage, but i’ll say yes

What is the color of your socks? Pink n gray!

What type of music do you like? Folky poppy musical theatre pop rock synth guitars

Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunrises

What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Choccy milk

What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) I support the right to choose (for football)

Do you have any scars? I got 1 on my cheek

What do you want to be when you graduate? Happy

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Give myself 17 years of dance training so I’d be a god

Are you reliable? I think so

If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Did you figure it out?

Do you hold grudges? oooooh it depends. yes and no. i hold grudges in v specific situations and i give a 4 year rule where u get a second chance

If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? puppy plus bird. sofd.

What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? all of them. ive had multiple conversations w different ppl abt what it would be like if a guy wore a strap on for sex and he had 2 dicks but he used the strap anyways lol

Are you a good liar? not at all

How long could you go without talking? i am so bad at it, i can barely go on vocal rest bc i dont shut the fuck up

What has been you worst haircut/style? I’ve had almost the same hair my whole life and its all been pretty tame. Im gonna say when i half sprayed my hair pink in middle school when i tried to cosplay fluttershy bc that was HORRID

Have you ever baked your own cake? hell yea, i baked a 3 layer cake once

Can you do any accents other than your own? I “do” southern, british, russian, jersey. whether i do them well is another question

What do you like on your toast? Avocado babeyyyyyy

What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I think it was a cat

What would be you dream car? A BIG ASS VAN THAT FITS LIKE 13,000 PEOPLE

Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Yes. Define unusual ;))))) just kidding lmao

Do you believe in aliens? Idk, it doesnt rly keep me up at night. if i saw some aliens id be like lit

Do you often read your horoscope? v rarely

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? idk fuckin Q i guess

Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons. something spicier abt them

What do you think about babies? What do they think about me? Have they been talking about me??

Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. haha idiot u forgot to add an end question oh wait you guys dont read these you just ask all of them blindly fuck u guys

0 notes

laura-j-c · 7 years

Text

PROJECT PROPOSAL

This project is a continuation of my previous project that investigated my obsession for fantastical literature through escapism and the suburban landscape. The suburban landscape is still a foundational feature in this project because it is my environment, my dull, boring, mundane environment from which I try to escape. Mythology is also prominent content in my work, to me myths and legends are origins of the fantastical. My work is also metaphorical because I’m using fantasy as a metaphor to escape and the botanical objects I plan to use are physical metaphors for fantasy in my project.

I am developing three 30 second animations featuring fantastical succulent interruptions that interrupt the dull mundane of my domestic suburbia interior. This project will be an expansion of my previous project from last semester. For that project, I printed a series of black and white photos and then painted succulents interrupting the normal interior with gauche.

To continue my exploration concepts related to escapism via and the notion of escaping one’s reality and through an obsessive need for fantastical literature. I will concoct an experimental work featuring many elements of my previous works, these are black and white photos of my interior and the interrupting succulents which are fleshy, waxy, hardy, alien but still familiar. This is different from my previous work because instead of showing small snapshots of what I see I’m going to show how fantasy has filled my mind and heart and it’s still growing and overtaking everything. An important from my previous project was I was lacking a critical edge to my work, I aim to address that by having the succulents shrivel up and decay, and have it as a metaphor for moments in my life where I have been in dark places and didn’t think I’d ever claw out of there.

I will hand draw the growth stages of the succulents, then use photoshop to digitally draw multiple layers of images over black and white photos of my interior. The layers will then be animated using adobe premiere so the succulents slowly grow out and overtake the space in the photo. After they have grown the succulents will then shrivel up and decay so the image returns to the original black and white interior. The animation will then loop back to the start and repeat. I have also considered printing off the photos of my interior or stages of the animation as photographs with a white border and painting over them, as I did with my previous project, but I have not decided yet.

The reason I chose succulents is because they are a unique species of plant that look so strange but normal at the same time. To me, they are a small doorway into the fantastical through the mundane world. I’m also fond of them because they are very resilient and hard to kill, they can grow just about anywhere. It’s like my fantasy obsessiveness, no matter how much people tell me fairies, trolls and werewolves aren’t real it won’t kill my love or search for the fantastical. So, for this project I have invented succulent morphology, the study of the succulents’ exteriors.

In choosing a botanical form to be the shape of my fantastical interruptions because plants have a rich foundation for fantasy in which they have magical properties. This is seen in many fairy tales such as The Three Snake-Leaves by Brothers Grimm in which the leaves can return the dead to life (Race Point Publishing, 2013). In Norse mythology Yggdrasill is a magnificent tree that connects all nine realms together (Branston, 1978). Even the seeds contain the source for magic, in the Greek myth of Hades and Persephone he tricks his kidnapped bride into eating pomegranate seeds so even when she leaves the Underworld she will always return to him for a short span of the year (Larsen, 2016).

My work deals with my need for the fantastical and escaping from the dull and ordinary, of which I do through literature, film and pop culture such as Death Note, City of Bones, The Hunt, Dinotopia, Nora and so on. In constantly seeking out the preternatural, innocent, spiritual and harmonious way in everyday life. This project is a like a metaphor for my desire of fantasy. Over many years fantasy has taken root in my mind, growing and filling out all the space. There are moments in my life where events and circumstances have stifled that growth and withered it down to nothing but it always flourishes back to life, after lying dormant it sprouts and evolves, swelling into something just as big and beautiful as before.

As a Millennial, we are infamous for being very tech. savvy, rejection of traditional rites of passage into adulthood, and dependence on the internet. Author Sally Bibb accurately describes the aspects of Generation Y in her book Generation Y for Rookies (2014) which illustrates the qualities, personality traits, work ethics and circumstances that have shaped how Millennials have become the way they are; including disregard for hierarchy or authority, rejection of competitive conflict solving, perforation to collaboration, exposure to internet and technology, difficultly job finding (because of unwillingness to work the hours or finding a skill-appropriate position), creative and initiative, and more politically disengaged (Bibb, 2014). I agree with many of these claims but feel some are more subjective than others.

For example, I feel the disregard that is described by Bibbs, towards those in greater authority, it is seen and I know of many individuals in my generation that do lack in that respect. Bibb also mentions in her book the experiences that influenced my generation acts of global terrorism, marriages that result in higher rates of divorce and difficulty in saving money for houses and cars (Bibb, 2014). These events have left many Millennials with a longing to stay a child and never grow up or to escape from reality all together, the Peter Pan Generation.

My work is not unlike George Gessert’s practice as it is the study of botanical exteriors (morphology), the appearance of a plant, Snowy Donkey (2004) is an iris he crossbred and grew until it bloomed. If Gessert did not like the appearance of the flower, he would recycle it and start a new hybrid breed. However, our practices fall into distinctly different categories, he is bio artist specialising in plant hybridization and my practice falls into the interdisciplinary drawing. Vidya Gastaldon’s artwork Mini Christ in God Mother (2007) also has some similarities with my work. She has created her own fantasy world of abstract hippie and psychedelic aesthetics. Another artist who identifies with my work is Jake Fried, Night Vision (2015). He makes animations by continuously drawing over his drawings, scanning in-between each one, and turning them into minute long animations. Although his work is not explicitly fantasy, there are strong images that suggest fantasy and sci-fi. An artist I share many similarities with is Chris Ware. A common thread between his work and mine is the suburban landscape. In some of his comics’ conversations his characters really suffer from the dullness and repetitive routines of everyday life and longing for something new and exciting.

Until last week, I hadn’t given much consideration as to how I wanted to install my animations. I had planned to just project them onto the wall. But being introduced to Diana Thater’s practice has caused me to scrap that plan and consider different ways of installing my work.

REFERENCE LIST

Bibb, Sally. 2014. Generation Y for Rookies. LID Publishing. ISBN:9780462099804

Race Point Publishing. 2013. “The Three Snake-Leaves” in The Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Page, 60-62. New York, USA.

Branston, Brian. 1978. “Yggdrasill, the World Ash” in Gods & Heroes from Viking Mythology. Page, 31-36. New South Wales, Australia.

Larsen, Kristine. 2016. “The Lessons of Nature in Mythology” in Mythlore. Vol. 34, no. 2, 2016, p. 191+. Expanded Academic ASAP, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?p=EAIM&sw=w&u=griffith&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA453915650&it=r&asid=4b72e4eea1cfef3007bbe6af0aa15518.

Gessert, George. Snowy Donkey. (2004). Iris seeds, soil, fertiliser, flower pot, water. Dimensions variable.

Gastaldon, Vidya. Mini Christ in God Mother. (2007). Watercolour, gouache, acrylic, coloured pencil and graphite on paper. 31 × 36 cm.

Fried, Jake. Night Vision. (2015). Ink and white-out. Duration: 1 minute.

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