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memestockpile · 9 months

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alice doesn’t live here anymore (1974) feel free to change as needed.

you get in this house before i beat the living daylights out of you.

if anybody doesn’t like it, they can blow it out their ass.

turn that damn thing down! you’re going to drive us deaf.

i’m an okay sort of person.

how did i get such a smart-ass kid?

honey, dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.

help me clear up the table.

what are you doing on the floor, kid?

you’re just in time for some peach shortcake.

what the hell have you done to the coffee?

don’t lie to me.

what are you watching?

you make me laugh.

don’t make it too tight. i got to be able to sit.

shut up, you nut.

how much money is there left?

we’re in this together, you know.

you’ll love it there. i can’t wait til you see it.

sorry if i was rude before. i’ve been kind of nervous lately.

there’s room in the car. want to come with us?

be a good boy, now.

don’t cry. that’ll make me cry.

the whole state is shit.

don’t talk dirty, [name]. how many times do i have to tell you?

i feel sick. like i might throw up.

just sit back there, relax, and enjoy life.

what do you want from me, card tricks?

we’ll get gussied up and go to a swanky place to eat.

you’re annoying me.

get a job, dummy.

don’t be rude to me. i just bought you a cheeseburger.

will you get your little butt in bed?

ask me again in a couple of years, i’ll let you know.

are you ready to see a great beauty?

what’s your problem, kid?

shall i open a vein and sign it in blood?

hey, kid, give me a break.

act like you got good sense.

i heard what you said, i just didn’t believe it.

excuse me, could you spare a glass of water?

come on in the back, i’ll introduce you to the boss.

c’mon, now. what’s the matter?

here, swig on this and troubles will vanish.

you came towards me with a question mark on your face.

there’s a piano bar down the street.

auditions are hard.

you’re a very weird kid.

you always look like such an angel when you’re sleeping.

i like your singing.

nobody likes to sit alone.

why are you in a bad mood?

i cut my little finger on a tin can this morning.

if one more guy makes a pass at me, i’m going to sock him in the face.

just wondering when you’ll introduce me to that guy you’ve been running around with.

don’t be so sure you know what you’re talking about all the time.

you should see the bags under your eyes.

you’ve been coming home late for almost a week now.

no lip. just go in the other room.

open the goddamn door!

don’t tell me what to do.

i’m not gonna discuss my sex life with you.

you drive a hard bargain.

i wish we could find a cheap motel.

you can relax, kid.

we’ll always have food to eat.

i swear that man moves like dead lice were falling off him.

grandma was slow, but she was old.

i heard the only way you can get it up is to slam it in a door.

do you want eggs?

i can tell that you’re new to this kind of work, but you catch on real quick. most of them are out that door by 10:30 in the morning, crying.

thanks a lot. i might blow my brains out.

you don’t like me very much, do you?

i sure would hate to have breakfast with you every morning of my life.

how long do you think we’ll have to stay in this hellhole?

honey, i was only kidding.

weird. very weird.

sit down, shut up, and don’t move. don’t even twitch.

i’m bored. b-o-r-e-d. bored!

we’re going to have to stop meeting like this.

you can kiss me where the sun don’t shine.

why don’t you give yourself a jack job in a paper sack and get off my back?

i’ll get the hash browns and the coffee on.

come outside. i got something to show you.

i got no shame.

that’s wonderful, darling.

how would you like the holy hell kicked out of you?

christ, she’s got tits the size of cucumbers.

i hardly recognize him with his mouth closed.

you better watch it. you’re going to draw back a bloody stub.

it’s an accident. it happens.

alright, honey. i’m sorry, really.

you know, you have a worse mouth than my kid.

i heard it all my life. i heard it first from my dad.

you’re so funny.

i bet you sure get lonesome.

you want me to fix you up with somebody?

isn’t the sun wonderful?

you want to steal something?

i’d rather take a whipping than mend fences.

the only thing dumber than a cow is a chicken.

the most important thing to remember before you kiss is to wipe your mouth real good.

hog got your tongue?

you missed me, sidewinder.

hello there, you lonesome polecat.

please, don’t do that. it stops my heart.

put another quarter in and try again.

get in, dope.

you never ask me what i want to do.

who the hell do you think you are, buddy?

if you open your mouth once more, i’m going to nail it shut.

i’ll stop the car and push you out, and you’ll walk the last mile.

my dad was a bastard, alright.

you’re going to get the belt for that.

too much wine.

so long, suckers!

you look like you’ve been embalmed.

it’s alright. go back to sleep.

we’re going right here and have us a little talk.

it’s nice to have somebody take care of you.

my life ain’t exactly a bed of petunias.

my old man ain’t talked to me since the day kennedy got shot.

honey, the lord blessed you with talent.

i used to be good when i was a kid, but i’m not good anymore.

i could just kill him. i really could.

do that again, you’ll run a three-legged race to the undertaker.

sounds like one hell of a gamble to me.

i like him, too. i just hate his taste in music.

you always said you could fight with somebody and still like them.

now you’re using your old noggin.

thanks, pal.

my boy.

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insipid-drivel · 2 years

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Southern Colloquialisms: Romance Edition!

What’s up, I wrote that one post about Southern slang I learned from my relatives and had no clue I had a Southern accent until school friends pointed it out. To expand on that story, I was still so dubious about their claims that I talked differn’t that I went home to ask my mom if it was true. I was about 12 years old and she literally stared at me for a good 30 seconds and said, “Honey, you grew up with your grandma a lot of the time. She was born in raised in Oklahoma. Yes, you have a Southern accent.”

My grandmother and grandfather were absolute soulmates. My grandfather was a first-generation Italian-American born and raised in San Francisco who went on to serve in WWII despite being disqualified by the draft for medical reasons (4F status) and became one of the earliest computer hackers never caught. My grandmother’s family moved to San Francisco from rural Oklahoma, and she first met my grandfather in a popular public dance hall in 1955. They quite literally saw each other from across the room, and by the end of the night, my grandfather drove my grandmother home, she took one look at him, and announced, “You know, we’re gonna get married.”

Less than a year later, they were married, and a year after that, my mom was born.

So how does one court a Southern person? Here are some fun and flirty Southern phrases that express different kinds of love and attraction!

“I love you more than cornbread on Sunday.” - “I love you more than one of my most precious comfort foods from childhood that only the love of my parents could make me feel. You make as much of an impact on my happiness as the people who raised me.”

“I’m smitten with you.” - “I am so profoundly struck by my feelings of adoration and admiration inspired by you that you make me feel as overwhelmed with emotion as the love of god.”

“I’d get gussied up for you.” - “You inspire the desire in me to do my best to present the best version of myself I can be if it means you’ll want to spend more time together than we do already.”

“As long as I’ve got a biscuit, you’ve got half.” - “I would starve for you.”

“I love you like biscuits and gravy.” - “I love you to the point that your presence in my life is as precious and valued as a routine staple food that kept my ancestors from starving during the Great Depression.”

“I love you a bushel, a peck, and a hug around the neck!” - This one is really cute and often used between parents/guardians and their children. I most often heard it in a sing-song voice followed by a big hug and a kiss on the cheek/head.

“I love you like a possum loves a June bug.” - Southern for, “I love you so much I could just eat you up!” Possums are insectivores.

“You’re the mason jar to my preserves.” - “I would rot into a gross person if you weren’t in my life.”

“You and I go together like country ham and red-eye gravy.” - “We have a lot of chemistry together and I’m very interested in getting to know you more to prove we’re a good match.”

“I love you as big as the sky and as tall as the trees!” - This is another cute one that I grew up with hearing from my mom to me. It’s another way of expressing, usually to a child, that you love them very, very much.

“I’m stuck on you like kudzu on a junked car.” - Kudzu is a very invasive and aggressive species of vine that is virtually impossible to control or get rid of. This phrase therefore means, “I am so distracted by my thoughts and feelings of you that it’s literally impossible to get you out of my mind.”

“Sure as the vine twines ‘round the stump, you are my darlin’ sugar lump.” - Another cutesy one that’s often aimed toward children, but it’s also spoken as a goofy, sweet way of telling a person you love very much you adore them while making them smile.

What about dating? Here are some cardinal rules when it comes to dating a Southern person and making a good impression. Some of these are pretty biased and no longer considered PC in many spheres, but this is what I grew up culturally experiencing as the norm as being part of an old Southern family:

-First of all, Southerners are not being ironic when they refer to dating as “courting”. Contrary to a lot of popular stereotypes, formal relationships in many Southern regions are very, very formal. Especially if you’re looking to settle down with someone on a permanent basis, etiquette and manners - especially with regards to male pronoun-havers - should be cranked up to 11 until you at least get comfortable with the other person and establish your own rapport, communication, and love languages in private. You wanna polish your shoes when you put your best foot forward.

-Do not act as casually around a Southern partner’s friends and family as you do with them in private. When you’re pursuing a Southern person romantically, regardless of how welcoming and enthusiastic your would-be partner and their inner circle is, an important element of Southern culture involves the bonds of close friends and family. While your love interest may not judge you, their friends and relatives sure as shit will. Especially if you identify as male and are pursuing someone who is a woman or prefers a more femme lifestyle/presentation, every move you make is going to be scrutinized by the people around them/her. This level of scrutiny can be so intense that you’ll find yourself studying 19th century etiquette books, because even the way you set the table for dinner can be viewed as a reflection of how the people who love the person you’re dating will think you’ll treat their loved one.

-Put as much work and effort into planning and hosting get-togethers as your partner does. Gatherings of family and friends are a pretty common and normal part of Southern life, and some people like to host gatherings more than others. If you’re dating a Southern person that likes to go out of their way to participate in family meals, especially if they are the host of a gathering or family dinner, you need to put on your best hosting behavior, too. It is a massive faux pas to neglect your partner and/or guests when they’re working hard to have a nice time with the people they care about and fail to at least match your partner’s manners and hospitality in front of company (this is in no way included if one partner has a disability or other situation going on that keeps them from helping out or keeping up; this rule applies mostly to the abled). By showing their friends and loved ones you’re working hard to help relieve as much stress from your partner as possible while proving how hospitable you can be, you’re showing that you’ll continue to do that in all aspects of life together.

-Never, ever joke about or make fun of your partner’s mother, even if your partner is doing it. This bit of etiquette can actually change the longer you’re with your partner and the more time you’ve spent with their mother personally. If you’re with someone who has some issues with their mom that they’re okay with venting and joking about, it’s okay to laugh, but try to only match your partner’s energy regarding expressing stress about close family bonds by about half of their own. There’s a fine line between expressing sympathy and empathy from personal experience you’ve gathered and outright insulting your partner’s family. You don’t want to cross that line.

-If a potential or existing partner wants to remain celibate until marriage, respect their decision. Sex and sexuality can be a very, very big deal for Southerners regardless of gender. There is a degree of this that is indeed enforced by puritanical beliefs regarding virginity and chastity, but it’s also a sincere personal choice for all genders. A lot of Southern people value romantic chemistry above sexual chemistry, and prefer to wait until they’re ready for marriage before having sex as a way of reassuring themselves that they’ll be safe and feel cared for by their partner. If you’ve made them feel valued and cared for in the other major arenas of their life, and their loved ones (especially of the same gender identity) approve of you, that’s one way a Southern person can try to guarantee a good time in bed and a quality long-term commitment to you, especially if you have children. Everyone is different and more or less comfortable with sexuality, but if you’re talking about someone who’s earnestly saving themselves for marriage, it’s probably not just for religious reasons.

-Affectionate jokes about a Southern partner’s accent/mannerisms are often welcome. Especially if you aren’t denigrating or attempting to make a Southern person feel bad or weird for their cultural upbringing, having a laugh about things like the colloquialisms and etiquette isn’t a bad thing! Southerners are commonly very good about laughing at themselves, especially when it’s in a situation where a non-Southern person is surprised by something their Southern partner has grown up doing or saying as a normal part of life. It’s okay to point out phrases and mannerisms you’re unfamiliar with in an interested or jovial tone. We tend to find it just as funny, and it’s also a demonstration that you’re interested in learning more about what your partner’s upbringing was like.

-Don’t try to force a Southern accent if you don’t have one. It will not impress. Just... don’t. We can tell, and it’s usually not as funny as you’d think. It’s a completely different story, however, if you accidentally say or do something distinctly Southern unintentionally as a result of spending time with your Southern partner. You will not get in trouble for suddenly blurting out a word with a twang that you don’t normally have or use a term or phrase you’ve picked up off-the-cuff. If anything, it’s another subconscious demonstration that you’re paying attention to and embrace their own behaviors as much as they accept yours.

-If your partner is very close with their family and friends, speak to their closest and most senior loved one and formally ask their permission to propose to your partner before you do it. You usually want to, in most cases, approach the most senior and protective guardian figure that was part of your partner’s life before you ever met them. Unless you know your partner well enough to know that they don’t view the custom of asking a loved one they look up to for permission to propose as flattering, it’s seen as the final ultimate act of a proper courtesy in a relationship to get clear confirmation from the people they look up to and admire most that they support your desire to PROPOSE. This does not, as it is often misconstrued, imply that a parental or guardian figure gives the consent to a proposal . That’s still your partner’s decision to make (and it’s usually best if you propose in a private setting so your partner doesn’t feel pressured to say yes when they’re not actually ready to), but going to the most senior and protective loved one(s) for clearance to propose is a gesture of respect to their loved ones’ commitment to caring for your partner before you met them. Marriage in the South is viewed doubly as a pact of love and protection (gender makeup doesn’t matter; a marriage is seen as successful when both spouses protect and care for each other), and by formally asking for permission to propose, you’re also humbly asking your partner’s closest loved ones for their permission to become a formal and permanent protector and supporter that will care for their loved one if something ever happens to them. One of the best songs that typifies this aspect of Southern culture can be found in the song, “I Loved Her First”, by Heartland that I used to listen to all the time. The song is sung from the perspective of a father witnessing his daughter’s wedding, and the lyrics reflect why it’s often so meaningful to ask relatives for approval to propose before doing it in a lot of Southern families:

“Look at the two of you dancin' that way Lost in the moment and each other's face So much in love, you're alone in this place Like there's nobody else in the world, “I was enough for her not long ago I was her number one, she told me so And she still means the world to me, just so you know So be careful when you hold my girl Time changes everything, life must go on And I'm not gonna stand in your way. “But I loved her first, I held her first And a place in my heart will always be hers From the first breath she breathed When she first smiled at me,

“I knew the love of a father runs deep And I prayed that she'd find you someday But it's still hard to give her away I loved her first.

“How could that beautiful woman with you Be the same freckle-faced kid that I knew? The one that I read all those fairy tales to? And tucked into bed all those nights?

“And I knew the first time I saw you with her It was only a matter of time I loved her first, I held her first And a place in my heart will always be hers From the first breath she breathed When she first smiled at me.

“I knew the love of a father runs deep And I prayed that she'd find you someday But it's still hard to give her away I loved her first.”

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#southern slang #southern colloquialisms #linguistics #language #flirting #southern relationships #cultural traditions

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mayhapsyourmom · 1 year

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Things I’ve seen my cast mates do and say

•*pulls out switch blade* “I’ll protect us all”

•*rolls on trash can like it’s a log and breaks in falling on his butt into the trash*

•“Guys how do I do foundation again”

•*sees eyelash curler and literally falls back in fear*

•“When I came in to the changing room ___ had his shirt off!”

“Oh no” 😑

•*climbs wall like spider man*

•*names theater ghost after my dead grandpa*

(Love you gramps)

•”you look like a sexy homeless beetlejuice”

“No You look like my uncle”

•”that hairspray smells like paper dolls”

•*grabs fistful of cake*

•”I think I should be an e-boy murderer with hearts under my eyes!”

•*tries to physically fight each other or free style rap battle every chance they get*

•”Mortimer I steal your girl”

“Okay!”😄

•”gussy, the grandma pussy”

•”Abby whore Brewster”

#bisexual #arsenic and old lace #theatre #theatre kid #elaine #high school theater #high school #incorrect quotes #funny quotes #friends #friendship

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silverjansims · 2 years

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Sims 3: Silver Bells Family

Silver Grandparents

Welcome back to the humble home of Grandpa and Grandma Bell for another visit with their growing family. Please help yourselves to some vegetarian Dim Sum or spaghetti freshly cooked by new Grandma Jan while Gussie entertains you on his guitar. There's a new putting golf mat in the backyard to practice your golf swings with or you can relax in the hot tub after a long day in the sun.

In the above two photos, Grandma Jan is rocking her newborn grandson, Robbie. We then have Grandpa Gussie putting little Robbie back in his crib after feeding him his bottle.

Yes, you read right Gussie and Jan are now proud grandparents after their son Jessie and daughter-in-law Abbie welcomed their first child into the world. Abbie gave birth to a healthy baby boy whom they named, Robbie. Our little grandson is the cutest little 'excitable' boy but like many youngsters has his 'grumpy' moments. When not teaching at the local school or working in her garden, Grandma Jan can be found rocking little Robbie in the rocking chair or just playing with him when he wakes up from his nap. Abbie is a great mother and is also ready to meet her son's every need. Jessie is a good father, too although he spends a lot of time either painting or working out downstairs when not busy working in the local business office as he strives to become CEO someday.

Little Robbie by his soon-to-be aunt Jessica while she watches some TV.

Jessica beginning to explore the Tomb of the Rock in Simhara

In other family news, Andrew and Jessica are now officially dating and already have a 'faithful reputation'. Hopefully there will be wedding news in the next family update. There hasn't been much traveling this week but Jessica managed to take a trip to Egypt for the local military to learn the secret art of Senet from local Fahad Madbouli with whom, Jessica became friends during their chat. Since Gussie has complete the main missions in Egypt, Jessica did some minor tasks for a few locals like getting photographs of a rubble pile and treasure chest for Sopdu Hawas, the local special merchant, who was making up a new tourist brochure. She also helped food merchant, Shadia Rashid prove that mummies are real by photographing the one she found while exploring the Tomb of the Rock inside the Pyramid of the Burning Sands.

Andrew finally got his new clothes.

That's the main news for now and Grandma Jan will hopefully be back for one more update next time before she and Gussie hand the family story over to generation two as Jessie and Andrew plan to take over with their own families.

In these last two photos we have little Robbie who is now a cute toddler in his new everyday outfit and then sound asleep in his crib later that evening.

Until next time, new grandparents Gussie and Jan hope you all have a great week and summer!

#sims 3 simblr #sims 3 gameplay #appaloosa plains #sims 3 world adventures #reblog

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dollycas · 4 months

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Embellished to Death (A Faith Hunter Scrap This Mystery) by Christina Freeburn #Review / #Giveaway

Embellished to Death (A Faith Hunter Scrap This Mystery) Cozy Mystery 3rd in Series Setting - West Virginia Publisher ‏ : ‎ Henery Press (September 23, 2014) Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 274 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1941962122 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1941962121 Paperback ‏ : ‎ 274 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1940976278 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1940976273 Kindle ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00N1ADXA0

When Faith Hunter agrees to help PI Bob Roget find an identity thief at a local scrapbook retreat, her friendly croppers’ weekend quickly morphs into a dangerous one. As croppers share their own memories, a killer collects them for her new identity and doesn’t appreciate Faith in the picture. Faith struggles to balance her professional, detecting, and personal lives as threats and secrets keep her off-balance. Things turn deadly when a woman is killed and Faith is blackmailed. Truth and lies collide when Faith discovers croppers aren’t the only ones embellishing, and the results might end her life. Dollycas's Thoughts What could go wrong at a friendly scrapbooker's weekend? Well, Private Investigator Bob Roget is trying to catch an identity thief, and Faith agrees to help him. But before they can even check in to the hotel a woman is hit by a car in the parking lot and killed. Good thing Faith brought Steve along to help with the Scrap This Store because he was just in time to pull her out of the way of the speeding car, but sustained a serious injury of his own. That incident and an abandoned car kick off a whole bunch of crazy events. Events that may have Faith revealing a secret she has been keeping from almost everyone. Events that may cost Faith her life. Faith Hunter is a strong protagonist with a secret. In Embellished to Death we start to get some details about her life prior to returning to Eden and her grandmothers. Her relationship with Steve is moving along but hits some bumps. He drove the truck and trailer filled with product for the Scrap This booth at the retreat and will be staying to help Faith in any way he can. Faith's grandmothers don't make the trip but Darlene and Gussie are attending the event and will be able to step in to help when needed, and oh boy, are they needed. With Faith helping Bob find the identity thief, Steve being hurt, inept retreat organizers, an upset hotel manager, an "undercover FBI agent" with an ax to grind, and a murderer to catch, Faith doesn't have much time to man the store. I do enjoy the strong friendships that have been built between all the core characters. They all have huge hearts and are there for each other through thick and thin, even when bullets are flying. The mysteries were complicated. Is the identity thief a murderer or are their two criminals hanging out at the scrapbook retreat? Drama, twists, turns, surprises, and more drama with a little bit of crafting, really kept the pages flying. Faith found herself in so many scary situations. The way the strings of the subplots tangled with the main plot was done with an expert hand because the story had an excellent flow. It was very hard to put the book down when my eyes just wouldn't stay open any longer. I am mad at myself for getting behind on this fun series. I plan to rectify that in 2024 and read the final three books. Embellished to Death kept me on my toes. It was so well-written that I was completely entertained. It is a great crafty mystery for cozy readers especially those that enjoy scrapbooking. I do recommend the series be read in order to meet Faith, her grandmas, and their friends from the start.

Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent

About the Author The Faith Hunter Scrap This Mystery series brings together Christina Freeburn's love of mysteries, scrapbooking, and West Virginia. When not writing or reading, she can be found in her scrapbook room or at a crop. Alas, none of the real-life crops have had a sexy male prosecutor or a handsome police officer attending. Christina served in the JAG Corps of the US Army and also worked as a paralegal, librarian, and church secretary. She lives in West Virginia with her husband, children, a dog, and a rarely seen cat except by those who are afraid or allergic to felines. Author Links – Webpage Facebook Goodreads

Also by Christina Freeburn

I am giving away a Signed Paperback Copy! The contest is open to anyone over 18 years old with a US or Canadian mailing address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Void where prohibited. You do not have to be a follower to enter but I hope you will find something you like here and become a follower. Followers Will Receive 2 Bonus Entries For Each Way They Follow. Plus 2 Bonus Entries For Following My Facebook Fan Page. Add this book to your WANT TO READ shelf on GoodReads for 3 Bonus Entries. Pin this giveaway to Pinterest for 3 Bonus Entries. If you share the giveaway on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere you will receive 5 Bonus Entries For Each Link. The Contest Will End on January 4, 2024, at 11:59 PM CST The Winner Will Be Chosen By Random.org The Winner Will Be Notified By Email and Will Be Posted Here In The Sidebar. Click Here For Entry Form Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read the full article

#ChristinaFreeburn #cozymystery #HeneryPress #NetGalley #scrapbooking #WestVirginia

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teenmomcentral · 6 months

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Jenelle Evans is still standing by her man.

The fired Teen Mom 2 star gushed about her husband David Eason in a new post to social media on Friday, praising him for “protecting” her and proclaiming that they will be “just fine." The couple has been at the center of plenty of drama lately, from David’s pending charge of child abuse for his alleged assault on Jenelle’s oldest son Jace, to the recent accusations that David had been texting his ex-wife Whitney Rich and proclaiming he was “dreaming” of her, among other things.

Mr. and Mrs. Jenelle Evans seemingly got all gussied up and headed down to the local mall’s “Glamour Shots” location to pose for “happy family picnic” pics together.

In the black-and-white shots (which have no photographer credit), Jenelle looks lovingly at her employment-challenged soulmate, as David stares dead-eyed off-camera.

In another photo, David has his girthy paw wrapped around Jenelle’s neck and collarbone, as he and Jenelle both close their eyes (surely dreaming of all the fun times they’ve spent together in courtrooms).

In the final shot, Jenelle closes her eyes in fake laughter as she admires David’s chain necklace (which was surely purchased from the Vanilla Ice Insta-Rapper Collection). David, again, stares off-camera with a vacant look.

“No matter where I go I’m loved by you, no matter where we are you always make me laugh,” Jenelle wrote. “No matter where we are you know how to take away my anxiety, no matter where you are you don’t let anyone walk all over me, no matter where you are you protect me. Let them say whatever about us because we will be just fine. I love youuu babeeeee.”

In the comment section of the post on Facebook, David responded to Jenelle’s love note.

“Awwwe don’t make me cry,” David wrote. “I love you so much and I will always be there for you no matter what!”

While David appreciated the love letter, Jenelle’s followers were not impressed, with some reminding Jenelle that, just a few months ago, she was on Facebook accusing David of stealing her debit cards, making her depressed and refusing to work. Others brought up some of David’s unsavory past actions, such as Jenelle’s 911 call from 2018 in which she accused David of abusing her.

“No matter when she calls 911 to say you broke her collarbone she’ll forgive you,” one person wrote. “No matter which children get hit with sticks, locked in cars and strangled she will stay with you. No matter how many times you contact your exes or random girls she will want your Vienna sausage. True love story.”

“Every time I see pics of them I feel like we’ll see them one day on the First 48 [crime show],” another person wrote.

“Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago you were posting about unsupportive he is and how he’s the cause of your anxiety?” someone else commented. “And he was the reason you had no friends… Ohhh how the tables have turned!”

As The Ashley previously told you, David and Jenelle are currently being investigated by CPS. While Jace has been removed from their care and is now living with his grandma Barbara Evans, Jenelle’s son Kaiser and the couple’s daughter Ensley remain on The Land. (As The Ashley reported earlier this week, David’s older daughter Maryssa comes and goes from The Land.)

In addition to the slobbery soulmate tribute, Jenelle also posted a proclamation to her website that the text messages David allegedly sent to his ex-wife Whitney last year were “photoshopped.”

In a new story posted to her website, a writer who is absolutely, positively not Jenelle addressed the text messages and even obtained “exclusive” texts between David and Whitney during the time in question. According to Jenelle’s story, these prove that David never texted the things Whitney claims he did back in May 2022.

Jenelle even (somehow) managed to obtain an exclusive statement from David himself about how the text messages provided by Whitney are fake.

No. Seriously…

“I honestly think they are photoshopped because I have the real texts between Whitney and I,” David tells his wife’s website. “I have shown them to Jenelle and they are only pertaining to co-parenting.”

The website goes on to again accuse Whitney and her husband Shane of creating the text messages that were released.

“Many close sources to Jenelle and David Eason believe that Whitney Johnson and her husband, Kenneth Shane Rich, photoshopped the text messages that were submitted to The Sun a few weeks ago.”

#teen mom 2 #mtv #news #jenelle evans #david eason

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blatherpuss · 4 months

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Psy-Daze pg10!

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Only six pages are left for the first chapter of Psy-Daze! If you'd like to read them all now, or show some support for the comic in general, you can buy the issue for $2 bucks on my itchio!

#comic #update #my art #silly #comics #cincinatti #psy-daze #itchio #grandma gussy #bitey #dog #psychics #stuff and things #jokes

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fritzyfarm · 11 months

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INT. HELEN'S CABIN - DAY

Helen, a warm-hearted woman in her 60s, wakes up with a smile on her face. She stretches and walks over to the window, opening the curtains to reveal the beauty of the Canadian island outside. The sun shines, casting a warm glow over the surroundings.

HELEN (gently) Good morning, world! Another day full of island adventures awaits!

As Helen looks outside, she spots a Beaver scurrying past her cabin, seemingly in a hurry. She opens the window, calling out to him.

HELEN (excitedly) Hey there, Mr. Beaver! What's the rush today? Running late for your morning dam inspection?

The Beaver stops in his tracks, turning to face Helen, his tiny paws perched on his hips.

BEAVER (panting) Helen, oh Helen! The dam has burst, and we have a "floatation situation"! Didi, the little girl from the village, is stranded on a rock, surrounded by rushing river currents!

Helen's eyes widen in concern, realizing the urgency of the situation.

HELEN (determined) Oh dear! We can't leave Didi out there! We need to gather help right away. Mr. Beaver, could you find Ranger Howard, and I'll go fetch Grandma Gussie? Together, we'll save the day!

The Beaver nods, scurrying off to find Ranger Howard, while Helen rushes back inside to grab her coat.

EXT. ISLAND - DAY

Helen and Grandma Gussie stand on the edge of the riverbank, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Ranger Howard.

HELEN (nervously) Grandma Gussie, I hope Ranger Howard gets here soon. We need his expertise to navigate these treacherous waters.

GRANDMA GUSSIE (pulling out a small flask) Don't you worry, dearie. I've got some homemade river rescue juice to give us an extra boost of bravery.

HELEN (smirking) Oh, Grandma Gussie, you always come prepared!

Just as they're about to take a sip, Ranger Howard, a rugged and capable park ranger, arrives on the scene, carrying a rope and a determined expression.

RANGER HOWARD (confidently) Helen, Grandma Gussie, I'm here! What's the situation?

HELEN (quickly explaining) Ranger Howard, the dam has burst, and Didi is stranded on a rock. We need your expertise to get her to safety!

RANGER HOWARD (nodding) Alright, ladies, let's get to work. Helen, you and Grandma Gussie stay here on the riverbank and guide us. I'll go get Didi, and we'll use the rope to make a rescue line.

Helen and Grandma Gussie stand side by side, their hearts filled with concern and hope.

HELEN (encouragingly) Grandma Gussie, remember the time we rescued Mr. Binky from the tree? This will be just like that, but with a little more water.

GRANDMA GUSSIE (chuckling) Oh, Helen, I can never forget the day we became the fearless tree-climbing duo!

Ranger Howard skillfully wades into the rushing river, making his way towards the stranded Didi. With each step, he fights against the strong current.

HELEN (watching anxiously) Come on, Ranger Howard! You can do it!

GRANDMA GUSSIE (raising her flask) And here's to the rescue juice doing its magic!

Ranger Howard reaches Didi, carefully securing her to the rescue rope. Together, they

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