#guess you can tell I have no idea either

[bomnun]

I'm so lost in this whole thing but how could there be a future for pentagon if Hui debuts with bepler?? Do people seriously think they can vote for hui and expect pentagon to comeback??

Cube sucks, they probably will debut a group with Doha on it 🫠💀 before we get a ot8/ot9 comeback

I think most universe’s strategy is to keep him in high ranks until the final and then stop (not that this is likely to work considering the general public has eaten up Mnet’s script), unless he drops out before that. I stand by the fact that I don’t think he’s in there to redebut. Why would he pretend he wasn’t on the show for the longest time? Literally until the day the participant list came out he was posting from and participating in Pentagon’s schedules as normal. His participant bio has Pentagon’s “Just do it yo!!” entered as his favorite song, and instead of wishing for a high rank he says “rather than rank, it’s about proving”. Plus that one deadpan comment of hoping everyone finishes above him. Plus him not even in his intro saying he wants to redebut.

As recently as this Tuesday, you have members saying they don’t have plans on quitting as a group (x) . I feel like this is as explicitly as Kino can say it under the current circumstances. Right after the Boys Planet participation came out Shinwon said this on a now deleted Vlive, and I think it lines up more or less with what Kino said … two days ago. This to me shows that the members have no intention of disbanding, and as I’ve said many times before, they’re very aware of how shit the fandom is feeling, and wouldn’t lie about this if there was no hope at all.

The more time passes I’m convinced the Pentagon comeback was canceled because Cube is tight on money. There’s even a possibility they’ve canceled/postponed a BTOB comeback (recently an article came out they’d have an April comeback, but it’s since been deleted, and just today Cube announced (G)I-DLE is coming back in “April or May”; if this comeback happens it’ll have been 6-7 months since the most recent Cube artist comeback), and BTOB are not a group they’re planning on getting rid of, even though they clearly have no idea what to do with them. A friend of mine says Jian and Huiyeon were probably cut from Lightsum, and Yanan hasn’t come back because Cube doesn’t want to (or is unable to) pay to support them, so paying termination fees to Jian and Huiyeon and leaving Yanan hanging in China saves money. With this in mind I wonder how soon NBG can actually happen… They teased them last year, but if they’re struggling for funds to make BTOB or (G)I-DLE come back too, how are they going to debut a whole new group soon?

My current guess is Cube didn’t want to/couldn’t pay for a Pentagon comeback, and got a deal or threat from Mnet (sucking up to Mnet is like Cube’s only industry connection), and managed to convince Hui he has to do this (based on what I’ve said above and, just, Hui’s personality, he’s not ditching the group like random people on the Internet like to say), and also tried to make him think that Pentagon are unable to comeback because of their own results, and not because the company is running low on money.

Also, initially, I thought that Cube’s master plan here was to separate Hui from Pentagon, defame the others and paint them as bygones and then keep Hui, but considering the editing he’s getting on the show this show is hurting his individual reputation and image the most … it’s all so messy and weird?? I don’t understand what a company unable to financially support their artists gains from trying to paint one of them as complete failures, including one of their biggest individual assets both as a performer and producer.

Also Shinwon has been namedropping Hui A LOT on Bamra the past week or so, a while previously he didn’t even mention his name… I’ll do my part as a Bamra listener and read too much into that, lmao.

#ask #anonymous #I #guess you can tell I have no idea either #but this is my guess…

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

I know this is random but reading your blog and seeing your art made me so motivated I made my 1st animation ever (not counting pixel art ones), after not drawing digitally in months and it looks kinda basic and it isn't colored but I made it and I'm really happy with it so I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for motivating me to make digital art again! I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

MKJSJWJW HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME THATS GREAT!!! Animatics need time and patience so the fact you went straight for it is so cool!!!! I bet it looks lovely!

Hope you have the greatest day/night too!

#I'm gonna go in a bit of a ramble in the tags because this got to me #but this legit means the entire world to me #i had ups and downs and good and bad times so its something i even forgot about for a while #but all i ever wanted was to make silly things and have those silly things be of help to someone #that has always been like. my main objective and reason as an artist other than liking to draw #i always hear about the potential i got to helping out in the world and yada yada and i decided i wanted to make it in the unconventional- #and small ways. i wanted to make people happy. entertain them when they are going through something. inspire to see things in a better light #its stupid and simple and something anyone can do but it was a wish of mine #hearing i actually got to do that gives me hope this can actually work out so thank you so much for bothering on telling me this #for a while i forgot the little things mattered too. but you helped me remember it #I've had people do art about ideas i had. i had people laughing with an art i did. i forgot those things meant the world all the same #and i forgot those little things are what had gotten me out of depression in the first place lmao #it helped once so i guess it can help out twice #thank you for telling me and im happy i helped somehow!! i'd love to see it! but either way wooooo!!! you make that art #well this was a cringe ramble lmao #might delete later #(the ramble. the ask im putting in my wall) #but yeah this is nice :] #ask #anon

[blackbirdblackbird]

Maybe it’s time for Kara to try this gauntlet instead of Supergirl.

#L: kara are you even listening to me? #k: you are so hot #supercorp #supergirl #spgrl s06e15 #*mp #L: yeah supergirl's okay I guess but kara is my hero and also my wife #also idk but I'm having vague ideas about the courage whatsit tying into the 513 reveal moments #and after this convo also 'kara danvers you're my hero' #and maybe after that like just some random quiet moment with lena #and she either isn't in control or she's pulled out before she can do anything #she's back in the tower and lena is right there being all concerned and supportive bc it didn't work again #but then it hits kara that it is trying to get her to tell lena #though not about supergirl but about how she feels #lena in this middle of this rant like we'll figure out this stupid thing if it thinks you aren't courageous it's broken #she kinda trails off seeing kara smiling at her and kara says #it's okay. I figured it out. #and she takes lena's hand and tells her what they both already know but haven't had the courage to actually say yet #they kiss with the sound of the courgae thing telling them it worked in the bg but they both ignore it #at least until alex finds them making out #and kara is like look we were doing the courage thing okay this is very important world saving kissing just listen

[brown-little-robin]

.

#military surplus store trip 2 days ago #I got a very pink cowboy hat despite questioning everything about how I present myself. it was Calling to me #multiple people loved it and when I got home and put it on my 3 yo sister stopped in her tracks and said 'wow... you're soo pretty' #that has never happened before #so I Guess the pink cowboy hat will be a Special Fashion Thing #despite the little existential crisis it gives me every time I think about being a pink cowboy hat girl #which is a bit ridiculous but there you go. #I was so secretly dedicated to looking either vaguely emo (<333) or cuttingly defensively professional for a long time #that the idea of being COWBOY-aligned (CONSERVATIVE IDOLS UGH) and not only that but PINK (feminine??? >:O) really did not appeal #but it looks GOOD on me and... sigh. I don't have to make people know my personality by my clothes. I can just wear what I WANT to #and I really do LIKE the pink cowboy hat!! it's silly and awesome and goes clink and it's a COWBOY HAT man!!! #I get to be BOTH pink cowboy AND every other thing I am. I can still be CoolTM. I can still be completely myself. #those who love me will understand me. those who don't... don't have to understand me. #goodness gracious that was a lot of soul-searching over a HAT #I also got very very tough Army jungle combat boots #I am expecting them last well >:D and they make me feel SO POWERFUL #Robin processes emotions on main #I Guess XD #I only meant to tell y'all about my cool new items I swear

[griseldabanks]

for the ask game, would you do #23 for link and zelda?

Let Me Count the Ways ask game

Prompt: "I feel like we've met before…."

“You only want to go there because you think she'll be there.”

“I do not!” Link retorted, hanging his helmet on Epona's handlebars while holding his phone to his ear with the other hand. “I'm going to study for midterms, like I said. Not my fault you didn't want to come along.”

“And watch Malon making googly eyes at you the whole time? No thanks.”

Link paused halfway through slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “What? Malon?”

He could practically hear the rolled eyes across the phone line. “Oh brother. She's had her eye on you since orientation!”

“Really? How can you tell?”

“Because I have eyes in my head!”

Suddenly, Link spotted a familiar pink backpack weaving through the tables outside the coffee shop, heading towards the door. “Sorry, Navi, gotta go.”

“Hey! Listen to me—“

He hung up and darted over to the front door, managing to reach it just in time. He grabbed the door and pulled it open.

The girl who'd been reaching for it started at his sudden appearance, then let her extended hand fall back to her side. “Oh...thanks!”

She smiled up at him before stepping inside, and for one glorious moment, their eyes met. Link grinned stupidly, but she'd already passed him.

Heart pounding in his chest, Link followed her into Lon Lon Cafe. He stuffed his hands into the pocket of his green hoodie, trying to act casual as he stepped into line right behind her. He glanced up at the girl behind the cash register, and the pleasant giddiness in his chest deflated somewhat as he remembered what Navi had said. Sure enough, Malon spotted him and immediately shot him a grin, tucking a lock of red hair behind her ear. And she kept glancing at him as she listened to the next customer's order.

Link looked back at the girl in front of him instead. Zelda. So was so pretty, her blonde hair pulled back in a half-ponytail, golden earrings dangling from her ears and catching the light.... And there was an elegance to all of her movements, even simply in the way she pulled her wallet out of her purse. Like a princess...if princesses ever graced college-town coffee shops.

Suddenly, she looked over her shoulder and turned to face him. “Hey, do I know you?”

The bottom dropped out of Link's stomach. “What?”

Zelda cocked her head to one side. “I feel like we've met before....”

Link swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “Uh...History 101. Professor Rauru.”

Zelda's face brightened with recognition, and somehow she looked even more beautiful that way. “That's it! So are you ready for—“

“Next!”

With a little start, Zelda quickly turned around and stepped up to the front of the line. While she was ordering her drink, Link couldn't help noticing that Malon wasn't smiling anymore, but answering Zelda tersely and stabbing at the register with more force than necessary.

When it was his turn to order, Link was a little nervous at how Malon would receive him, but to his relief, the second her eyes landed on him, a huge smile lit up her face again. He might have been imagining things, but he thought he detected a hint of sharpness in her gaze that wasn't there normally. “What can I get you?”

Link opened his mouth to reply, but she talked over him.

“Pumpkin spice latte, right? As usual?”

He'd actually been thinking of trying out something different this time, but she was already ringing him up, and he did like anything pumpkin spice-flavored, so he remained silent and just handed over a couple blue rupee notes.

Zelda was still waiting for her drink at the other end of the counter, and Link's heart skipped a beat when she glanced up from her phone as he strode over to her to wait as well. “So, what's your major?” she asked, her blue eyes bright and interested.

“Uh...undeclared, so far,” Link admitted, feeling his cheeks go warm. “I came in with an archery scholarship, but I don't know if that's what I want to go with....”

“Well, that's okay,” Zelda said. “You're a freshman, right? You've got plenty of time to figure it out.”

“Wait, are you not a freshman?”

Zelda giggled. “Oh—no, I'm a sophomore. I just didn't get around to history last year. I wanted to take harp lessons, and my schedule didn't work out.”

“So you're a music major?” Link brightened at that. Maybe he should've signed up for singing lessons or something after all.

“For now,” Zelda said with a thoughtful frown. “I love the harp, but I've been thinking about switching to political science instead. Do some real good in the world, you know?”

The more they talked, the more relaxed Link felt, just like he was talking to Navi or Saria—except that every time their eyes met, he felt a glorious swoop in his stomach. “Maybe your harp can usher in world peace,” he said with a grin.

As Zelda laughed, the barista slid their drinks across the counter towards them. “So do you play any instruments?”

“Oh, just the ocarina—“

They both reached for their drinks at the same time. Both froze, staring at the backs of their hands. Link's left, Zelda's right. Like a strangely geometric birthmark, against their pale skin was the clear outline of a triangle divided into four smaller triangles. On Link's hand, the smaller triangle on the bottom right was filled in; on Zelda's, it was the bottom left.

Link stared at their hands, the marks upon them perfect mirrors of each other. For his whole life, his soul mark had been there, as familiar a sight as the moles and freckles on his arms. He knew it was supposed to be a reflection of his soul, and the legends went that somewhere out there, his soulmate bore the mirror image of it. But who that person was, or if he'd ever meet them...that just wasn't something he bothered thinking about too much.

Just like anyone, there had certainly been times when he'd wondered who his soulmate was. Growing up, he'd compared soul marks with his friends—Saria had been extremely disappointed when she realized that the swirly mark on her shoulder was nothing like his soul mark. In idle moments, he would daydream about whether his soulmate would turn out to be someone he married, like his parents, or a really good friend, or maybe even one of his children someday.

But then life got busy, and there was no time to think about something so frivolous when school and archery club ate up so much of his time. If he ever met his soulmate, he would deal with it then.

Then was now.

Slowly, Link's eyes traveled up Zelda's arm to her eyes, which were open wide with shock. “Does this mean...?”

“You're...m-my....”

“Oh my!” Zelda's face instantly grew as red as a tomato, and she whirled away from him, covering her cheeks with her hands. Link's eyes were glued to the back of her right hand. The soul mark was unmistakable.

Without warning, Zelda began speed-walking back through the cafe, almost knocking into several people on her way out.

“Wait—Zelda!” Link grabbed both of their drinks and rushed after her, finally catching up to her where she had collapsed into a chair at one of the tables under an umbrella out front.

Hesitantly, Link set Zelda's drink down in front of her, then slipped his backpack off his shoulder and sank into the chair across the table. He looked over at her staring fixedly at the cast-iron tabletop as if she could melt it with a glance.

Just to have something to do, Link sipped his pumpkin spice latte, but it scalded his tongue, so he set it aside.

She was so pretty, even with the blush extending all the way down her neck. Actually, the blush made her look even prettier, the pink tinge of her skin setting off the pink shirt she wore.

She's my soulmate, he thought numbly. All I wanted was to talk to her, maybe ask her out eventually...and she's my soulmate. The most important person in my life.

“Um...sorry,” Zelda said with a shaky laugh, looking up at last and tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. “I didn't mean to run out, I just...that took me completely by surprise!”

“Yeah, uh...m-me too.”

They both realized at the same time that they were staring at each other's hands, and broke into nervous laughter.

“So, we're...soulmates.” Zelda let out a long breath. “No, saying it out loud didn't help. It still doesn't sound real.”

A sudden thought occurred to Link that made his heart sink. “Hey, um...just because of this,” he pointed at the back of his hand, “that doesn't mean we have to...I mean, it's just a legend. You don't have to feel, like, obligated to...to hang out with me or....”

To his relief, she smiled sweetly at him. “You're right. But...I'd still like to get to know you. If...you don't mind.”

“No, of course!” Link said, a little too quickly and too loudly. He cleared his throat, his cheeks burning again. “Can I buy you coffee or something sometime? I-I mean, I know we already got coffee, but....” Crap, he was making such a fool of himself....

But Zelda just giggled, hiding her smile behind the hand that bore the mirror image of his soul mark. “Yes, you can take me on a date sometime. But, um...what's your name, anyway?”

“Oh!” They'd been talking all this time, and he still hadn't introduced himself. “It's Link. Nice to meet you.”

Zelda cocked her head to one side. “Link...strange...it feels somehow familiar....”

Link realized he'd felt the same way, the first time he'd learned Zelda's name. He'd passed it off as merely thinking it was a pretty name, but...maybe it was a sign that their souls were bonded to each other.

Either way, as they sat at the coffee shop and continued to get to know each other, everything felt right with the world in a way it never had before.

#UGH this one gave me so much trouble DX #i had zero ideas until suddenly i decided to combine two tropes i don't usually care for (coffee shop au and soulmate au) #and somehow that gave me enough inspiration to finally write it??? #idk i don't get it either #also i'm a little disgruntled because i'm supposed to be writing only platonic relationships with let me count the ways #but i guess i ship zink so hard i couldn't make it any less shippy than this :/ #so i'm kinda bending the rules with this but you can say it's just the beginning stages of a crush #the relationship could actually go a multitude of ways from here and the focus is just on getting to know each other #at least that's what i'm telling myself so i don't have to come up with an entirely new idea for this prompt ^^' #anyway this is meant to be more or less compatible with any version of link and zelda #but it's probably obvious that i take most of my inspiration from oot (as that's my favorite) #ask and you shall receive #granny-griffin #ask games #let me count the ways #link #zelda #legend of zelda

[nostalgia-tblr]

If I could do Fics With A Plot I'd probably attempt An AU Where Lauffey Dies And Odin Goes "Oh Hey, Frost Dudes, I Had Your Heir All Along :D He's Urs Now :D" Except Because This Is A Shit Plan It Does Not Go At All Well. Because it does bother me. Because I worry too much about fictional monarchies having the 'wrong' rules. D:

#this of course means odin has also has to tell his son “btw we lied to you. GUESS WHAT THO!! I GOT U A JOB!!” #and he sends Thor along because a) characters need other characters to talk to and b) he does in fact expect trouble #and I reckon after some sort of tense Confrontation about how if Lauffey wanted rid of his son he should have the guts to make sure he died #instead of leaving it to fate like a COWARD #Loki would - by power of poshness alone - manage to convince one or two Jotuns that he does indeed count as the heir #meanwhile: existential crisis D: D: D: #but hey free kingdom nothing to sneeze at eh? let's go! we can do this! #except (obviously) no. you can't. there is NO WAY there's nobody out there with a counterclaim. #and if your WORST ENEMY raised your new king (who has a questionable claim) you absolutely manage to find a third cousin from somewhere far #off who also has a shaky claim but - here's the thing - he's not an obvious attempt to impose Odin's puppet on your realm #and then Plot would unfold which is why i cant write this despite my Weird Niche Interests being aroused (NOT LIKE THAT) by this idea #also i would answer the “was there no mother involved? did she not mind the infanticide thing?” (could go either way on that really) #essentially Loki does have Scheming Politician energy but sometimes the task really is just impossible #but perhaps surprisingly the ending is a heartwarming reunion and maybe - MAYBE - some sort of vague apology #because that really was The Worst Fucking Plan Of All Time #okay someone stop me making a new file (you-and-whose-army.rtf) and writing the extensive notes i've now got in my head D: #(but an AU so not really!) #do you want a civil war on jotunheim because this is how you get a civil war on jotunheim #...oh no DO you want a civil war on jotunheim?! D: D: was THAT the plan??? D: D: #i'd totally throw in an Ambitious Consort Queen because those are my jam <3 <3 <3 #fic-related #thor movies

[creamecream]

Name meanings, band version.

My handwriting is particularly bad this time around, sorry.

Name: Naaz. Meaning: Pride.

Name: Carys. Meaning: Love.

Name: Euna. Meaning: Hunger.

Name: Anasuya. Meaning: Without Spite or Envy.

Name: Raivo. Meaning: Fury.

Name: Alora. Meaning: Dreamer.

Name: Kauri. Meaning: Tree.

#awhile ago when I introduced euna I talked about my plan for a band #made of powerful demons each chosen by a prince as sort of a thing they could all have #euna carys and alora have been around for awhile everyone else has been a wip for a long while #I finalized the rest of them like a few days before the newest episode of helluva boss came out #because I remember going like ‘oh…I guess I should edit kauri a bit and add green to her’ when I saw mammon #these guys have names that reflect their sins of origin #the only one not obvious is kauri who I had a reason for but I couldn’t find it on my discord chat with my friends so I just left it #I either misread the meaning of anasuya or thought it was funny because she’s envy #you can tell the rest kauri is greed carys and raivo are he/him the rest are she/her pronouns! #trying real hard not to run out of tags just saying their all based on the base idea of their prince naaz is a ringmaster after lucifer etc #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #fan characters #naaz #carys #euna #anasuya #raivo #alora #kauri

[priffi]

that one didn't mean anything it literally didn't wdym it meant nothing it was all fake all fake that was nothing nothing happened huh. anyways bad news again

#OP (irl) gets the short end of the stick while i THRIVE. sorry bestie bout my boy drama but omgggg let me have this. #it's different from the last one bc it's attainable and not fake and i think it means something. coco if u see this Erm #i will not tell you who but if you can guess right i'll tell u if ur right #and do NOT go looking at my newest spotify playlist. you will still have no idea who it is. #is it bad if i say i literally duplicated the old struck playlist and then edited it from there 😭 #anyways back to my rant. idk how much i want it but it surely means something if i keep thinking about it. #also. there are Signs. i might be crazy but i'm happy and i'm back to living paycheck to paycheck (a singular glance once a day) #prayge for monday. idk how it'll go but we'll see im excited either way #perspective

[radioves]

mr. medical malpractice

hemlockheart was an rp character from wc : ft [arguably the best game btw. fuck ult and fuck the fact they locked the legacy version - but i will not be getting into that] that was a medicine cat apprentice and his entire character was that he would poison people by more or less spiking their herbs with toxic plants. no particular reason why he just felt like it

it started when he was an apprentice when he slipped some yarrow to someone just to see what would happen, which lead to him realizing “haha wait i am in complete control of these peoples lives. surely this discovery won’t have any repercussions on my ego and overall view of the worth of life.” yeah, about that

somehow nobody catches on over the years, and he ends up gaining his full medicine cat name via good ol fashion *~lying~*. it ends with him poisoning the new leader on their way to the moonstone, and when he comes back he attempts to call a meeting on tallrock to announce the leaders death, only to get a lightning bolt to the face and fucking die

also his existence got me mini-modded up the Ass because everyone threw a hissy fit over his name “not being in the prefix list” so i had to change it to hickory during the rp ☠️ i then proceeded to get threatened to be reported because everyone that was part of the rp left [cough* died *cough] and all the new people thought i was just being obtrusive. ahh forest territory my beloved how i miss you terribly

#reblog to slap his massive fucking forehead i guess #i legit didn’t mean to make his head look so big i swear it looked normal when i was drawing it 😭😭 #then again he just looks crusty overall. mfer got pinkeye up the fucking wazoo #either that or he’s high as fuck all. prolly snorts poppy seeds just to feel something that doesn’t stem from his god complex #straight up looks like he crawled out of a dumpster. betting 50 bucks the ‘medicine’ he uses is just drugs he found behind a denny’s #insert that one meme about the blatantly green cat #i tried to give him some plants design elements like the nose flare and spiky tail #tee bee aych he just looks like a bootleg goosefeather someone left in a swamp 🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️ #he’s just. a little crungly #none of this was even part of the original rp he was quite literally Entirely unassuming which is the entire reason he got away with it #anyways where was i. oh right #i like how you can so obviously tell i am Not a warrior cats artist #you have literally no idea how close i was to just giving him talons i canNot remember the last time i drew paws #digital art #artists on tumblr #illustration #warrior cats #warrior cats oc #oc hemlockheart #[.art] #tw drugs #cause i wouldn’t shut the fuck up for two seconds about em

[yay-depression]

i know the phrase “normalize ____” is overused but god i wish we would normalize being on medication long-term/for a lifetime.

#if another abled person implies the end goal is to remove medication instead of the end goal being my superior quality of life #i will legitimately lose it #had a meeting with an ADHD SPECIALIST #who implied that hopefully my life-long insomnia will be fixed soon and i can get off those meds #like the goal is to remove medication and the like the goal is not for me to sleep though the fucking night #i’m not sorry me being comfortable with my disability bother you #go to therapy #or get your shit rocked by a disabled person #either option is fine with me but you need one of them #google search: how do i tell the ADHD specialist he’s being ableist #actually disabled #cw ableism #ableism #neisvoid #i have physical disabilities as well so i’m not going to say like ‘you wouldn’t say this about someone on blood pressure meds!’ bc like #obviously they will. and they do #but in the age demographic that most does this to me it is also people on long-term medication #it’s just medication related to ‘aging’ so it’s not as weird i guess?? #this specific incident was about my insomnia medication which i’ve taken since i was eight #and the idea that i might have to take it forever sits great with me actually bc it means i’ll be able to sleep for my whole life #but it’s a problem that i was born with and so i’ve had more ppl (even those on long-term meds for things like arthritis or blood pressure) #say shit to me about it #like bc i’m young i need to be fixed #or bc it’s not an age related problem then it can be cured #and it fucking can’t. stop trying to make that the goal #my psychiatrists have said ‘listen if the meds haven’t changed your brain yet. it’s probably not happening’ #and that’s fine with me!! #but the fact that that’s fine with me weirds a lot of ppl out #specifically adults in their 40s and up #cripple punk

[minarcana]

#ok guess what fuckers youre going to be on another tag ramble adventure with me #ive been afflicted with the same images in my brain tumbling around and the only way to free my brain is to write them out #and anyways i have been contemplating wol au uri for a bit due to various reasons (he came up and then i got this image and couldnt be free #shb with uri as the wol is. after killing vauthry. he is SO fucked up that raha STILL wont just let him die #he was supposed to have raha send him to the rift with the light and let him die there but now that he cant stop him rahas taking it himsel #and theres the whole. 'no we really cannot have the wol die.' thing. #that makes it infinitely worse to uri. him just yelling through blood to let him die! let him have his turn! he WANTS to die! #the idea of bring told that the wol CANT die makes it so much more unfair to him #'you wouldnt know what to do if i died? i didnt know what to do for years after louisoux died! i still dont know what to do without moenbry #da! papalymo can sacrifice himself and everyone adapts! shtola has thrown herself to the lifestream twice! minfilia died! i had to stay sil #ent and let ryne choose her own path if she died or not! i cant tell people that i would be lost yet everyone gets to tell ME that? #do you think i am better than them do you think them worth less why do they have the right to die and i do not!' #he is SO SO SO much worse as a wol and it falls out in one outburst after hes quizzed as to why he thought he could sacrifice himself #but he also realizes that its really fucked up to say that aloud so yknow. yknow what. yknow. #hell bottle up all his feelings and then one day hell either die or start crying and it looks like he aint allowed to die! #he still takes the aid from ardbert at amaurot with the statement that #'if i dont try and save who i might then ill never be able to face moenbryda' #anyways cannot stop thinking about me giving uri the echo like 'this will be funny!' and hes just 'my life has become infinitely worse' #HEAD IN MY HANDS

[unproduciblesmackdown]

the most recognized as comedic song being the best part of the movie musical because the conventions that serve as a mode of communicating ideas, for example "people just bursting into song" or "choreography" or "'noticeably stylized' cinematography" that accentuates nonliteral nonrealism-invoking choices, are regarded as Silly or Frivolous. and the effort to shove everything else that's more "serious" into what is expected to be read as dramatic cinema that's not stylized in any ways that seem too "Genre" which only makes [but someone's singing?] underwhelming and out of place because no other elements are supporting it

#that plenty of Thee Establishment most concerned w/the commercial angle of musical theatre is also like ''musicals? is silly'' #or rather is forever defensive about this. all the musicals you know tonys will be comfortable with b/c they're gently ''edgily'' Serious.. #that old deh interview where p&p are like ''haha eugh we're not writing MUSICAL numbers musical numbers X'D this is serious this is real'' #deh as a living room play....like don't get me wrong. all Critiques / dunks on deh the stage musical even deh the movie...are not the same #all mine are better and wiser. but actually really for example like ''ben platt old?? he hair a joke??'' are criticisms i reject lol #wait a second does anyone in the Stage Musical ever do any more dancey choreography than they do in sincerely me....probably not #remembering the great times of that jared goldsmith interview where they were telling him to walk less dancily in ywbf lmao #taking some chassés across the stage....finally looked up if ''sashay'' is just a misheard + phonetic ''chassé'' & yes #anyways and just connect this all to the broader issue of Any ''genre(tm)'' understood as like. Unserious. style that is so unartistic.... #insert joe iconis talking about it. basically that if some Noticed ''unusual'' style usage is taken seriously it's presumed ''self aware'' #such that it may be like; parody of; commentary on; homage to whatever Conventions.... #like is a movie too associated with women as creators or audiences? some style choices that might seem to have some odd effect or w/e is #then just like wow guess this isn't good enough to be an experience i can completely intellectually disengage with as viewer.... #whereas if it's Not ''''gendered'''' so associated enough w/men as creators & audience (not much room for ''&/or'' there) then like #oh that perhaps somewhat awkward noticeable Style Usage? that was innovative; fresh; if it's funny it's ''clever'' rather than comedic #Don't Even Get Me Started on comedy also being an unserious ''easy'' too-Genre(tm) lesser style / way to communicate ideas #but i'm already started! it's right in the premise! ppl not even noting Sincerely Me has any material About anything b/c like #well it's Just Funny. jared & alana are Easy parts b/c they're so often Funny & set apart from the Serious Drama of parental angst #i actually haven't seen that many movie musicals but the ones unembarrased about themselves are superior #plus the idea of Worthy funny/noticeably styleized things as being Distinguishingly ''Self Aware''....the idea of Being Funny as either #being Unselfawarely the butt of the joke; or awarely deliberately Clever as what makes one superior to others; laughing At them surely #and i'm right back as well to what i was musing on re: the limits of billions' own language and in turn the limit of ideas if it cannot eve #express otherwise / beyond....that worthiness is awarded with this Dignity backed by the elements of the medium as tv's discretion #versus if someone's undeserving & unserious; or usually deserving/serious but is messing up & we want you to notice; then #they Will be beset with some humiliation; probably at least more proximate to being Laughed At; material may go out of its way to do this #another thing is that billions seems to have so little to no room for anyone having a capacity to be Silly #people Being Funny On Purpose is largely making references or pwning another character; both establishing competitive Worthiness #another shift from 5x08 onward like. rian truly able to humor herself is gone with her desk clutter #the fate of winston's =] ness is found in 6x01 when both quants are being funny until rian's funniness goes [abuse coworker] mode #that illustration that Hierarchy generates a Joke; at someone's expense. characters (& the writing?) Can't do otherwise to him or fathom it

[micer2012]

a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand. 

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with, 

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!). 

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading! 

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

#exiavojtmmc #hermitcraft #matpat #gt #game theory #hc #mcyt #evil xisuma #hbomberguy #plagiarism #james somerton #jeff the minion #mine #micer2012 #hcs9

[aashi-heartfilia]

The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao

*light novel spoilers*

I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)

And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?

POISON

She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.

And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.

I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.

And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.

One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.

So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.

Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:

She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.

Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.

It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.

And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.

They both are hypocrites.

And they both refuse to accept their feelings.

In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....

Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"

"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”

Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.

Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.

“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”

It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.

Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.

The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.

More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.

Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.

Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.

Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.

It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....

She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.

Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!

So, she got interested in poison.

Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.

And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.

Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.

But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).

Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)

Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.

~Sunshine

#maomao #kusuriya no hitorigoto #kusuriya no hitorigoto manga #jinshi #jinshi x maomao #maomao x jinshi #the apothecary diaries #the Apothecary Diaries manga #tad manga #kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers #manga #anime #spoilers #kusuriya no hitorigoto light novel #kusuriya no hitorigoto LN #the apothecary diaries anime #shoujo #shoujo couples #seinen #aashi animetalks #aashi heartfilia #mao mao #mao mao x jinshi #mao mao x reader #mao mao tad #maomao kusuriya no hitorigoto #light novel #kusuriya anime #shoujo anime #shoujo anime couples

[elegyofthemoon]

7, 22, 38

OOO thanks so much anon !!

fe3h asks

7. Favourite Blue Lions character?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO--

...Okay so because I was like ohhh nooo I don't know how to decide ahhhhhhh how do i piiiick I let the sorter do it AND SOMEHOW ???? FELIX WAS THE TOP BLUE LION FOR ME LMAO

I mean that's also fair: I think I was saying I gravitate the most towards swordsman characters (sword!!!! cool!!!!!) but I do remember how much I liked the different characterizations/exploration of his character depending which route ur on -- at least between Blue Lions Felix vs Crimson Flower Felix. I still think a lot about his reflection on when Dimitri dies in Crimson Flower and it makes me :((((

ALSO also his supports were good. I still laugh a lot about his one with Annette and Lysithea for example. Or the one with Bernadetta lolol But the serious ones hoo they hit

22. Favourite scene?

One of my fave scenes was the reunion scene with Dimitri actually asdlkfjh I remember running into a post that was talking about the placement of the lords in light and I was breaking apart about Dimitri being in the shadows and rejecting Byleth's hand. I think a lot about that scene and it kinda warms my heart everytime I see art referencing that scene ;; 0 ;;

38. Most heartbreaking death?

No one asked but there's a reason why I hate doing Crimson Flower and never want to do it again because I DON'T WANT TO GO AGAINST DIMITRI :(((((((( I DON'T LIKE HURTING HIM AND I HATE SEEING THE WAY HE GOES OUT

Dedue in that route ALSO gets a shoutout because when he becomes those crest monster things (forgot what they're called) I GOT SO DEVASTATED THAT I HAD TO COMPLETELY STOP AND THEN CALLED MY BEST FRIEND ABOUT IT TO COOL OFF LMAO

#ACTUALLY IM MAD THAT FELIX GOT THE TOP PLACE FOR BLUE LIONS #IM DUNKING HIM A LAKE AS WE SPEAK GET FUCKED FEEFEE. #also i have to thank nick for sitting through my fe3h phase because i had no one else to talk to about it at that point right? #so like everytime i just needed to scream. id just call him up and go HEY SO LIKE... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED #or text him too either way #I THINK LIKE dimitris death in particular makes me sad. ik he dies in golden deer and silver snow too but its off screen #meanwhile we actively see him screaming at edelgard before she kills him #and that makes me sad especially knowing whats going through dimitris head atm #i probably wouldve been better off starting black eagles first before blue lions and it wouldnt make me feel as sad with black eagles #HOWEVER I HAD ONE BRAIN AT THAT POINT AND WAS SOOOO IN LOVE WITH BLUE LIONS YOU HAVE NO IDEA LMAOOO #OMGGG WAIT let me tell you anon!!! #i went through crimson flower as sUUUUCH as a soursap i swear !!! #and then when i finished the route #i was like 'hmm well at least i know whats going to happen. perhaps i can try again!' #tried to start up another gameplay of black eagles. got mad by ch 3 i think and then stopped entirely LOL #answered #anons #much appreciated friend !!!

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ STRAWBERRY FLAVORED — GETO SUGURU.

contents. here is a lil prequel to this btw, basically this is suguru’s shower scene but if he actually had someone to take care of him, reverse comfort, aka my extremely self indulgent drabble of fixing suguru before he turns into a mass murderer <3

it’s been a while—suguru has been in that shower for long enough that you’re starting to grow concerned. you contemplate for a bit, whether it’s a good idea or not to enter the boys shower, weighing the possibilities of being caught.

satoru’s not here, you reason, nanami and haibara are gone too, and yaga shouldn’t notice either—so, with a heavy sigh, you walk up to the door, opening it slowly. you can see him, standing as the water pours over his body, not even moving a little when you enter.

suguru is not the same—not after everything that’s happened. you can tell, you can see it under his eyes from the lack of sleep, you can see it in his cheekbones as they show a bit more from the lost weight, you can see it in the stiffness of his body when you’re around him. he’s not the same, and no one’s seem to have noticed, but you have. you always have.

you slowly strip from your clothing, walking up to him quietly until your arms circle his waist and your cheek rests against his bare back.

“baby,” you hum, “you’re turning into a prune. look at your skin,” you grab his hand, running a thumb over the tips of his fingers, wrinkly from the water.

he gives you an empty chuckle—you don’t think you’ve heard a real laugh from suguru since that day. “but aren’t i a handsome prune?” he mumbles.

“of course,” you kiss his shoulder, “the handsomest.”

“that’s a relief,” he says playfully—there’s nothing playful about his tone, though. it’s numb, automatic, like he’s trained himself to respond to you the way he always does. but you can feel it. he’s not the same.

“you’ve been in here a while. i got tired of waiting.”

“sorry,” he drops his hand from yours, falling limply to his side, “lost track of time, i guess.”

“suguru,” you say softly, “what’s wrong?”

he’s quiet, probably contemplating his answer. no one else might’ve noticed, but you have. you always do—he knows you always will. finally, he decides to answer, “are you really asking me that?”

“yes,” you say firmly, “i want to hear it. i want you to hear it. stop pushing it down.”

“i’m fine,” he mutters, “just tired.”

“i know,” you say softly, “i know you’re tired. what’s got you so tired?”

gently, your arms twist his body—he doesn’t put up a fight, just spins to face you until his face is digging into your neck on instinct. he can smell your body wash, can inhale the familiar scent of you from here. there are no curses to consume and no people to save at the risk of himself here, just the soft feeling of your skin and the warm press of your lips on his head.

riko would’ve liked you, he thinks. he can’t help it.

for a fleeting moment, when his hand was outstretched to her, he’d wondered if you’d like her too. he’d decided you would—you’re kind, you always have enough love for one more person. you’ll like riko, he’d thought. and then just like that, she’d been on the floor, dark pool of blood under her head.

you never got to meet her, and he never got to introduce you.

“what’s wrong, sugu?” you ask again, voice more delicate this time.

“everything,” he whispers.

he’s tired, so incredibly tired. suguru is exhausted. so for today, he’ll let you pick up the pieces. he doesn’t want to worry about you right now, doesn’t want to think about whether or not the edges will be sharp enough to slice your fingertips. suguru is exhausted—so for once, he lets you worry about him instead.

“i see,” you nod, letting your fingers trail to his head, stroking the wet strands gently as he trembles against your body, “everything is a lot. let’s start with just one, yeah?”

“i hate the taste of curses,” he spits, “it tastes like vomit.”

“that’s no good,” you agree, and then you’re pulling his head out of your neck—he wants to protest, wants to stay right where he is so he doesn’t have to face you, or anything. but you’re insistent, gentle as you are firm, cupping his cheeks as you force him to look at you. “can you still taste it?”

“yeah,” he nods. it’s true, he can’t forget the taste even if he tries. it’s like a phantom pain—but it resides on his tongue, haunting him long after it’s gone, even as he breathes and swallows and talks. “i hate it.”

your lips are on his after that, soft and sweet against his mouth. he can taste the strawberry of your chapstick, the familiar taste of you that he also could never forget. it washes down the vile taste of curses easily, so he leans in for more. and more. and more. he needs more.

“what about that?” you ask, stroking his cheek when you pull away, “how does that taste?”

“good,” he says shakily, “i…i like that.”

“i know you do,” you smile, pecking the corner of his mouth, “i can’t change how curses taste. but if i could, i’d make them strawberry flavored for you.”

he chuckles at that—it’s small, but it’s real. for the first time in a long time. it’s real.

suguru hates how curses taste, and you can’t change that, but you can help make swallowing become easier. he’ll take it—he’ll take anything you give.

“that might make the job easier,” he says, burying his face back into your neck, “they’d taste like you.”

“i’ll kiss you then,” you stroke his hair, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head. his lips wobble, vision turning blurry. suguru is tired—he doesn’t want to hold it in anymore. “after every curse you swallow, i’ll kiss you. it’ll make it easier.”

“i don’t know if it will,” he admits, “this….what do we do it for? none of it is easy.”

he used to think it was. fighting curses was easy—satoru and him were the strongest. fighting curses was like stepping on ants as they walk on the concrete, crushing them before they can bite anyone. but he starts to wonder if people deserve to be bitten, if the people who kick at ant piles mindlessly for fun deserve to be saved from themselves.

you think for a bit, contemplating his question as the water runs over both of your bodies, slipping into the thin crevices between your skin and his.

“it’s not,” you agree, “it’s not easy. i would’ve loved to meet riko. i know you wanted me to. i’m sorry, suguru.”

somewhere along with the water on your shoulder mixes his tears, and his body shakes against yours. suguru is tired. he’s tired of swallowing curses and tasting bile. he’s tired of pretending the weak are innocent. he’s tired of carrying so much weight on his young, innocent shoulders. they deserve to be free.

“is it worth saving them?” he asks as he sniffles, “if they clap over people like us dying?”

“people like us aren’t always so different,” you point out.

people like us don’t need saving, he wants to argue—but you don’t give him a chance to, turning the water off behind him as you stand there holding him as he leans into you.

“there will always be someone who needs to be saved,” you murmur, “and there will always be something they need to be saved from. it’s not always as simple as curses and exorcisms, though.”

“that doesn’t make any sense,” he frowns, “that’s the whole point of jujutsu. to exorcise curses.”

“and if we exorcised them all? would that make everyone safe?”

“maybe not,” he furrows his eyebrows, “but at least we wouldn’t be dying for them.”

“you never know,” you reach for the towel, slowly pulling away and patting his skin gently as you dry his dripping skin, “maybe you’d die from something worse.”

“what could be worse?” he asks bitterly. he doesn’t understand. but you smile, pressing a kiss to his jaw as you brush his bangs from his face.

“i don’t know,” you shrug, “but i’m sure there’s something. there’s always something worse. but there’s always something better too.”

he still doesn’t completely understand. but the weight on his shoulder doesn’t feel as heavy when you lean and kiss it again—he feels like at least some of his youth is still his, still yours.

“you make no sense,” he grunts, scowling when you ruffle his hair obnoxiously with a giggle.

“well, maybe you’ll make sense of things after a nap,” you poke his chest accusingly, “you really need one. and then you’ll eat something. c’mon.”

“i don’t sleep with wet hair,” he reminds you as you tug him along, stopping where his clothes hang. you gesture at him to hold his arms up, grabbing his shirt. he rolls his eyes and indulges you, letting you dress him.

“i’ll dry it for you,” you chuckle, “my sugu is so high maintenance.”

and then, before you can turn to grab your own clothes, he tugs your wrist and pulls you in, kissing you hard, kissing you hungrily, kissing you like you’re all he has. just because he can. he can taste the last bits of your chapstick—he wants to keep tasting it forever. it’s strawberry, his favorite.

“i like strawberries,” he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes, “so don’t change the flavor.”

“okay,” you grin, cupping his cheeks, “i’ll always get strawberry for my sugu.”

he just needed a few kissies and he would’ve been fine. i guess i’ll take one for the team and kiss him a few times 😔 i guess i can take the responsibility of loving him 😔 i’ll be fine guys no need to worry about me 😔

#operation: heal suguru! #teepods.writings #drabbles. #geto x reader #geto x you #geto angst #geto fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru fluff #geto suguru x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader