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#guys idk that statement really stuck with me

thecynthh · 4 months

Text

STARSTURNS - M.S

summery - going out to a concert with one of y/n friends, a weird turn is taken when matt makes a move.

notes - SMUT, ROCKSTAR MATTY POOOOO, guys im a virgin idk how sex works MADE FOR MY GIRLY @ihrtchris love u girl hope the wait was worth it <3 NOT PROOFREAD

a/n - guys it looked longer than it is i promise

also the bolded parts during the concert means its the song lyrics, also i love this song

-----------------------------------

the bustling noises of a busy kitchen fill my ears as i hear people shout and flames crackle. “so i think i'll have a sweet tea and a number 6 please.” i ask the waiter as she takes my order.

“of course ma’am and for you?” cadence’s eyes swept over the whole menu again before speaking.

“lemonade and a number 2 please!” the waiter nodded towards us and walked off to the kitchen.

“hey are you busy tonight? i’m free and have nowhere to go, was hoping you knew about a party or something later.” i knew cay would know about any parties happening tonight, she was an epic journalist and worked for the editorial company i was at.

“hm, come to think of it, no, i don’t think so. didn’t get an invite, i guess all the famous people are taking a break from being bitchy and petty.” i laugh at her statement about the rich and famous, we’ve met countless celebrities and models and almost all of them were like cay said, bitchy and petty.

“come onnnn the one night i'm free from work and there’s nothing happening.” i drop my head dramatically on the table, careful not to hit the ketchup and mustard.

“well….” cadence trailed off.

“well what???” i almost break my neck looking up at her.

“i mean i saw a poster for this band, and they are playing at pacific square if you wanna go watch it, im down if you are.” cadence offered.

“a concert? im not sure, i mean if the guys are cute” i joked.

“ouh girl, i sure can tell you they are so hot.” she pulls out her phone looking through her photos. she taps on it and shows it to me. oh shit. they were really hot.

the one thing that cay forgot to mention was that the band that was playing in our home town was starsturns. “WAIT! you mean starsturns is playing here??”

“okay, im convinced, i think i just found my husband.” i practically threw cay’s phone back to her, feeling a small piece of drool develop on the corner of my mouth looking at the drummer.

“show starts at 8 i’ll be at your house with the uber.” cay says slipping her phone back into her pocket

“holy shit i can’t believe we are going to see starsturns!!!”

the ding of a bell goes off and we see the waiter sway towards us with our plates of food. i guess i have plans tonight.

------------------------------

getting to the venue was a little troubling due to the death inducing trafic we were stuck in but cay is very much a hardass so when we did get to the venue she shoved her way to the front.

“move your asses, two super fans over here!!!” cay’s enthusiasm scares people which lets us pass through sort of easily.

being right at the rails that has to be only a metre away from the stage gets me riled up, we hear the curtains draw and and the stage lights get low.

the sun just started to set and the neon flashes of their large stage lights flicker at the audience. the leader singer and lead guitarist chris looks behind him peering over his shoulder to the audience. the girls yelled and shouted, he was definitely a lady killer.

chris began strumming his guitar in a steady pace as his brother nick, on the bass, keeps a steady beat emerging from the shadows.

a slow rhythm on the drums begin to build up, slowly getting faster and with each tap of the snare the lights get brighter, and brighter.

matt is revealed to the fans in such an epic way as the fans, including me and cadence goes crazy.

the crash of matt’s cymbals begins their set list as their first song begins.

time seemed to have lasted forever as they now have moved to a couple of slower songs that are more lyric focused. i throw my head back as i belt the lyrics living in pure harmony. this was my favourite song and i wanted to soak up every moment.

chris noticed and waved a hand towards cadence and i letting security know to let us onto the stage. i shake cadence to snap her out of her little trance and yank her to the small stairs that lead up the stairs, a smile graces chris’ face as we run up to him.

cay takes his hand as he spins her around, i stand back trying not to get hit by her long hair. i try to cover my mouth as i giggle a little seeing her have her moment with her favourite group member. i start skipping around the stage still keeping up with the song soon coming up to nick as he keeps his eyes on me as his bass still continues strumming.

i lock eyes with matt, coming over to the back of his drum kit and wrapping my arms around his neck,

“i dont wanna lose you now,

im looking right at the other half of me”

i sang my heart out as i hug matt while he kept his hand and foot trained on the instrument. he detaches the mic that was for his vocals and passes it to me, im a little shocked by his action but understand what he wants from me.

i take the mic and start to sing.

“show me how to fight for now,

and i tell you baby it was easy”

i felt alive. my idols and i sing this song with our hearts. i belt and add accents to my voice and really feel myself in the song. i bring the mic down to matt as we both sing into the mic as chris and matt begin to chant “you are, you are the love of my life” underneath my vocals letting me take the lead on the song.

“you are my reflection, and all i see is you”

the song ends and i’m panting from using an excessive amount of air for singing and from prancing around. matt and my eyes never leave each other caught up in the moment.

“give it up to y/n and cadence for singing this song with us!” chris yells into the mic. he holds up his signature rock n’ roll sign showing it to the fans, “thank you guys for coming out here tonight! love you all, have a good night!” with the last echo of his message to the fans the curtains move down and everything but the crowd lights turn off, still providing light for those going home.

i hop down from matt’s little stage leaving the microphone i’ve been using on a table that was next to matt and meet up with cay at the front of the stage.

cay was engaged in a conversation with nick and chris, talking to them like they’ve been friends since forever.

“oh my gosh, thank you for letting us up on stage like that chris!” i knew cay was fangirling underneath her cool calm and collected front.

don’t get me wrong, chris is very attractive, but simply not my type. i didn’t feel as strongly about him as i did with matt.

“oh come on you guys are great singers! especially you y/n.” chris says as i walk over, i feel a wave of embarrassment wash over me with that compliment.

“ah- thank you but it’s getting late, cay call an uber i’ll meet you by the gates in a second, just gotta run to the bathroom.

i pat my pockets checking for my phone that wasn’t there. i make a quick run to matt checking his whole set up for it. when i pick it up i immediately get caught in someone’s hand.

matt’s muscular hand grips my bare arm causing all my attention to look up to the man above me. “hey,” his voice is lower so his brothers don’t hear. “we are staying at a hotel tonight then sightseeing tomorrow, we’ll be in town for a night or two. we thought we’d visit our parents and take in the home town scene again before we travel again. was wondering if you wanted to come with me to our hotel.”

“you can come to my house-“ i blurt out. “m-more privacy and it’s not that far from here or whatever your hotel is. i can get you back there just in time for your brothers to wake up…”

“ah, sounds like a plan, we just gotta take our equipment to our bus then i’ll meet you there, how does twelve sound?” he nods understanding my intentions.

“uh yeah! sounds good, wait lemme give you my numb-“

“oh doll, don’t worry about that, gotta be a little careful with who you leave your phone around,” he winks as his grip on me loosens and falls.

i almost ran out of the venue, finding cadence and the uber waiting outside on the street. “girl come on!” she waves me in letting the uber driver know where we were going.

i close the door behind me gripping my hands very hard on my phone. cay rests and hand atop mine and looks at me with concern. “hey, what’s up?”

“matt just- matt- matt invited me to their hotel.. but now we are meeting at my house at twelve.” my eyes are trained on the headrest in front of me.

“YOU WHAT, HE- HE WHAT????” cay starts freaking out as much as i would’ve if i hadn’t been in such a state of shock.

“yuuuup,” the uber slows down getting stopped close to my house. “i have his number in my phone, he said he was going to come when i text him my address.” i open my car door seeing as we’ve stopped right in front of my house.

“all the details tomorrow morning at work !!” she yells as i exit the car, waving thank you to the driver from outside the car i walk to my house to finally freak out.

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK was i doing?? no way am i about to have a one night stand with the drummer of sturnstars, one of my favourite bands

i pull my phone out of my pocket to see a new contact that was put in named “hot drummer” with a new number.

y/n

you shared your location with “hot drummer”

hot drummer (matt s)

otw!

not too long after i hear the doorbell ring throughout my house and i quickly rush to my front door. taking a deep breath in and out i push down on the large handle seeing matt on the other side of the door.

matt leans on the side of my door frame looking as delicious as ever. “hey” a smirk grows on his face as he scans my body. the black cropped long sleeve i was wearing was getting clawed at by my long done up nails. my skirt was barely covering my ass and showed a lot of my legs.

he looked at me like i was his last meal. he launches himself off the door frame as i take him by the hand, leading him to my bedroom.

he looks around at the posters on the wall, one including their old tour one. his finger glides across the arctic monkeys and slipknot ones.

“so you're a fan?” he asks coming to sit next to me.

“yeah you could say that, i’m not crazy tho, some girls are worse. if i’m being honest i didn’t even know you guys were coming here.” i say truthfully

“so if i do this,” he leans and kisses me, sparks fly in my stomach. “you’ll be okay with it.”

“and if this happens,” his hand undoes the clasp and zipper on my mini skirt, “you’ll be okay with it?”

his lips touch mine as i help him moves my skirt down to the floor as i hold the hem of his shirt pulling to take it off. my long sleeve and bra meet the floor not too far after matt’s shirt.

he manoeuvres on top of me now pressing his raging hard on top of my heat. “please matt,” i say in a whiny voice, feeling more anxious and excited.

“please what princess?” he teases.

“please fuck me,” my hand snakes to the nape of his neck as i pull him in for a kiss. his fingers clad with rings, slip into my panties as he makes cold contact with his thumb onto my clit, my eyes roll back feeling him circle around my hole before plunging in.

“oh- god matt please don’t stop,” i moan feeling him pump in and out of me. a familiar knot builds and snaps quickly due to the constant stimulation.

“mhh, come on babe, give it to me” i squeeze around his fingers hard before i cum all over his fingers. “good job baby, you did so well, you ready for me?” i nod frantically as he sticks his fingers into my mouth for me to taste myself, letting me such on his two fingers while he tugs on my panties making the small fabric keeping the whole thing together come unloose.

he's quick to undo his cargo pants letting the baggy material fall, and he tugs down his boxers letting his length spring out. i

“what the fuck, that is not going to fit in me?!?” he laughs at my surprise, pumping up and down on his monster dick.

“hey, i’ll take it slow, tonights ‘bout you.” he says hovering over me, “just tell me if it’s too much, alright?” he lines himself up and just puts the tip in, i arch my back in ecstasy feeling so full already.

“fuck, matt keep going.” he takes this as an invitation to push all the way in. my moans only become more airy as he gets deeper and deeper.

he gets more confident in his movement and keeps a steady pace, he lifts my leg, folding it by my knee, letting him hit a new spot.

“mhhh, matt don’t stop.” his pace is steady with him constantly hitting my g-spot, “i-i-”

i couldn’t even get my sentence out before i completely collapsed underneath his arms, letting myself go. “you did such a good job pretty girl, can i cum in you?”

“YES, yes matt please!” a slight feeling of overstimulation washes over me as matt grunts and shoots his load into me, falling onto my bed next to me.

“ah, come on, let's get cleaned up. nick and chris are gonna be wondering where i am.”

who knew, maybe dating a drummer isn’t that bad.

taglist - @westwiing13 @comet235 @mayhem-72 @pepsiimaxx @strniolosworld

taglist is open !

#sturniolo triplets #syn speaks #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo imagine #Spotify

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aernx · 11 months

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꒰ 💭 ꒱ OH, NIKI YOU’RE SO FINE! ˖ ⌨︎ ⁩◞❪니키❫

— 017 ! ykw i get the hype 💬

You didn’t know why but legs were shaking in anticipation as you stuck your gaze to ENHYPEN’s number 10. Your heart was beating harder and harder as you watched Riki dribbled the ball and passing it to number 23. Sunghoon, you believe?

“Focusing so hard on your lover boy?” You heard Miki smirk. That comment seem to fuel your other friends too as Beomgyu let out his signature laugh.

“I’m literally just watching the game guys.”

“Yeah? Well you weren’t this excited before getting to know mr. number 10.” You turn to see Jeongin and Beomgyu switching those “looks”.

“Are you guys implying that I’m never excited to watch Hee play??”

“Stop using Hee as an excuse. We know that you had eyes on number 10 for awhile. You just seem to always forget about him outside court.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes playfully.

His statement made you realize, have you really kept your eyes on Niki for awhile despite not knowing him outside his jersey attire? Though your thoughts were soon cut short as you felt Miki tap your shoulder.

“Shut up and look! Your lover boy just scored a three-point!”

The game went on for awhile and before you could even blink, the game was over. As the result, your school won with only 3 points ahead! Well you gotta admit, SM got some good players.

All of you went down to the field once the game was over to congratulate the players. You can see Miki skipping her way to Karina as she spotted her dear friend in the midst of the crowd.

You watch the two engulf each other in a long tight hug, smiling at them before leaving the two to give them some ‘alone time’.

Heeseung spotted you halfway and went over to call your name, indicating you to go to him. As you reached down, you see your best friend approaching you with open arms. But just before he can hug you, you slid left and dodged him.

“Ew don’t hug me, you’re sweating.” You grimaced at him and he pouted slightly in return. But the grimace on your face soon dissipate, your lips curling upwards forming into a smile as you high-fived him. “You did great, I’m proud of you, Hee.”

“Thankyou, bubble tea.” He smiled brightly before continuing.

“Now don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” Hee nudged you towards a certain tall, black haired boy, with a number 10 engraved on his jersey.

You glanced to the right and just as if it was on cue, Riki’s eyes made contact with yours. You can feel your heart accelerating just a bit faster at the act. Why were you getting nervous? After all he’s just a friend right?

You slowly approach him, looking up to him with a smile. “Hi Riki.”

“Hey Yn.” His eyes widened a bit before returning your smile.

“You we’re amazing there. It was so intense, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. You did so well.”

“You think so?” A blush blossomed on his visage as his hand rubbed the back of his neck, smiling hard over your compliment.

“Of course.” Riki saw how your eyes lit up in anticipation as you told him about how cool he was when scored the last point that led to their win.

But in the midst of your talking, he seemed to get lost in those alluring eyes of yours, looking at you with a unwavering gaze as he listened to what you had to say.

“Oh he’s so down bad” Heeseung snickered before leaving the two alone to catch up with the rest of the team.

OH, NIKI YOU’RE SO FINE! — CHP SEVENTEEN

𖥻 masterlist ⟲ prev | next ⟳

aerin’s notes ☆

idk how to write matches bc i’ve rarely seen them so i’m sorry if i made sum mistakes 😔

TAGLIST. now closed !

@roseyrays @itsactuallylina @1-800shutthefuckup @belovedxiao @luvistqrzzz @yanagisprettygf @st4rfiles @anyavaramyr @ghostiiess @catryu @ixomiyu @maerijw @txtmetonight @jaehaki @be0m9yu @kpop1sworld @astrae4 @whippedforbeomgyu @pkjay @j-wyoung @kazmura @bekiss-world @run2seob @haechansbbg @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @ihrtnrk @rreynca @gyubeari @iea-tsand @l0ve-joy @maybemiko @strwberrydinosaur @beomgyusonlywife @yumilovesloona @miko1ly @gyurtl @momsheaa @leiluvs @rikimylove @myknifeyourlife @r1k1slvr

#enhypen x reader #enhypen smau #niki x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen #riki x reader #enhypen niki #riki nishimura x reader #enhypen riki #niki imagines #enha niki

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lainiespicewrites · 7 months

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A lesson in flirting

Hi friends! This one had been sitting in my unfinished stories for a while. I love a good Henry fic It's another OFC because I can't seem to get off the "Self-insert" thing rn! LOL but you guys seem to love these stories and writing myself as a main character just gives me this air of confidence...Idk lmao... anyway enjoy! Also maybe doing this is part of kinktober?? Idk I’m not really following a prompt list buuut this kind goes with size kink??? Idk? I just wanna post more!

Plot: In which Alayna and her friends are at a bar, she's trying to explain to her friends that flirting is easy. until she sees Henry and her friends tell her to put her money where her mouth is.

Warnings: Smut Like just so much smut. Dirty talk, Oral (male and female receiving), P in V smut, creampie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, I mean it! It’s so easy! Men aren’t THAT complicated.” I exclaimed. Hayley shook her head at me. I laughed and downed the rest of my drink.

“You are so boy crazy,” She laughed, “If it’s so easy prove it!” she smirked. Shit, I’d been drinking and lord knows I’m not one to back down from a challenge. I looked over at Skyler who had the same look on her face.

“Come on Alayna, you look so good tonight! Don’t waste it! You’ve been eyeing that guy by the bar for the last 5 minutes. Go for it!” She urged. I really stuck my foot in my mouth here. I’d been telling them about a time I went out a few months ago and decided I wanted to kiss this guy and just … made it happen. I may have been a little overconfident. I looked over again at the guy they were talking about. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was at least 6’1 with beautiful dark curls and one of the sweetest smiles I’d ever seen.

“I-I don’t know, I’m all talk,” I said immediately going back on my previous statement. “This guy is way out of my league.”I sighed.

“No he isn’t!,” Skyler said quickly, “You’re literally so hot! He’d be stupid not to be into you.” Hayley nodded.

“She’s right dude! Prove yourself right! Go talk to him.” I took one look back at him. Well hopefully if this doesn’t work out I don’t make myself look like an idiot.

“Alright,” I paused looking at the girls. “Commencing phase one.” I joked.

“Jesus,” Hayley shook her head and Skyler just laughed.

“Yes! Go get your man!” She cheered me on. Okay, Phase one. Luckily this would be easy. The bartender Nick was already down at his end of the bar so it was the perfect excuse to “Bump into him” and squeeze my way up to the bar to order another drink. It helps that it’s a little crowded too. I pushed past a group of country boys standing around holding their Busch lights. The kind that rolls into the bar in tattered jeans they’ve been working in all day and dirty old work boots. Definitely not my first choice. I shake the thought out of my head starting to get nervous as I approach him. His back is toward me now. I walked up next to him at the counter, my shoulder brushing against him.

“I’m so sorry!” I blushed. He turned to look at me and smiled.

“That’s perfectly okay! It's a bit crowded here tonight huh?” he asked, chuckling softly. Sweet baby Jesus, he’s British! I nodded. Nick was still with another customer so I took the opportunity to make light conversation.

“Whatcha drinking?” I asked. He fully turned to face me. Beer bottle in hand.

“Guinness has always been my favorite.” He said, taking a sip. “Are you a beer drinker?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Not unless I'm already drunk, or it's in an Irish car bomb.” I joked. He laughed and raised an eyebrow.

“An Irish car bomb? Wouldn’t have assumed that’d be your drink of choice.” He smirked.

“Oh, it’s not! but my brother took me out for my 21st with his friends, they’re like my brothers. Anyway, I did a full “bombs away” Not sure if you’ve heard of that?” I raised an eyebrow. He chuckled, nodding.

“I do, That had to be a rough time!”

“It was certainly rough the next day!” The bartender was finally ready so I made eye contact with him to signal I wanted to order.

“What's up?” he asked.

“Hey, can I get another Rum and Coke please?” He nodded and walked away to get it started. Nick was a man of little words. I appreciated that about him.

“Not a bad choice,” I heard the guy say. I laughed

“It’s been my drink of choice since my friend and I started stealing “captain” out of her parent's liquor cabinet senior year.” He chuckled softly. Just then Nick came back with my drink. I smiled and thanked him again. He just nodded. I turned back to the mystery guy and smiled. “Well, it was nice talking to you!” I said.

“You too! Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.” He said.

“Alayna!” I said quickly.

“Alayna,” He repeated and smiled. “I’m Henry,”

“Nice to meet you, Henry!” I said and started to walk away.

“Nice to meet you, Alayna!” He called after me. I walked back to the girls' new drink in hand and a spring in my step. I smirked sitting back down in between them.

“Oh my god how’d it go?!” Skyler asked immediately.

“So he’s fucking British!” I stated.

“You’re kidding!” Hayley added. I shook my head.

“Dead ass! His name is Henry, and that’s about all I know! Except he’s even more beautiful up close!” I tried so hard not to squeal. Having a crush was thrilling and fun even if it went nowhere.

“Okay not to get your hopes up but he’s definitely looking this way!” Skyler said. I brought my drink to my lips took a long sip and let my eyes fall in his direction. He was and he was smiling. Before I could catch his eye his attention was brought back to his friend as they continued their conversation.

“I told you.” I shrugged. Hayley shook her head.

“That doesn’t prove anything buddy, maybe he just thought you were nice,” she stated. Skyler laughed

“He was absolutely staring at her ass as she walked away but okay yeah he just thought she was nice.” She said, I was blushing and trying so desperately to act cool but I knew it wasn’t coming out that way. I took a long pull of my drink and sighed.

“This is gonna be a high school crush situation all over again if I can’t hold it together. God, he’s so beautiful up close though. I really don’t know how I managed that conversation, let alone blatant flirting.” I shook my head and changed the subject. Asking the girls about work. I had neither of them fooled but they let me change the subject.

“It’s going okay but I certainly could use a vacation,” Hayley said. I laughed

“Says the girl who was in Hawaii 3 months ago!” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, and you left us here!” Skyler argued. Hayley retorted with something sarcastic but I didn’t hear her. Henry was walking in our direction and I immediately caught his eye. He smiled when he saw me slowing down as he was walking past.

“Hey! Are you having a good night?” He asked. I nodded and gave him a big smile.

“I’m having a great night! Just out with the girls. And you?” He quickly glanced over at them and smiled softly.

“That’s awesome,” He turned his attention back to me and it was a bit dark but I’m almost positive he gave me a once over. “And I’m good! Great now, just a little buzzed and headed to the toilet,” He chuckled.

“Well don’t let me keep you!” I laughed. I watched as he smirked slightly, looking me over again. He gave me a quick wink.

“I’ll see you later, love,” He spoke and then walked away toward the restrooms. As he walked away I heard Skyler trying to hold back a squeal.

“He was absolutely flirting with you!” She smiled. Even Hayley agreed.

“Dude it’s like we weren’t even here,” She said. I smiled.

“Yeah, I noticed that. But he does seem really sweet! I’m gonna let him make the next move though.” All of a sudden feeling a rush of energy I downed the rest of my drink. “Fuck it let's go dance!” I said standing up and pulling both of them up with me. I heard Hayley start to complain that she can’t dance so I took her hand and spun her. “Just move! Everyone’s drunk anyway. No one cares! Let loose!” I said. Skyler grabbed my hand and spun me and then jokingly twerked on me. We were laughing and genuinely having a good time.

This is what we came out for tonight. Just to have fun and be carefree. The song switched to some early 2000s girl group. The kind that makes you feel invincible. The girls and I were still dancing. I spun around and almost ran directly into Henry.

“I’m so sorry!” I giggled. Clearly more a little more buzzed now. Henry smirked.

“No need to apologize darling. You’re having fun!” He chuckled.

“I am!” I exclaimed. “You should dance with me!” He smiled but raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not much of a dancer, Love,” He said. I pouted.

“Please? It’ll be fun!” I begged. He chuckled.

“Of course, I will, for you!” He smiled. I let out an excited squeak causing him to laugh. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a slightly less crowded area of the makeshift dance floor. I turned around and pressed my back to his chest. Immediately his hands found my hips. I slowly started to move my hips against him and looked back giving him a cheeky smile.

“Told you I’d make it fun!” I said. He smirked and licked his lips slowly.

“I never doubted that,” He spoke. He slowly started moving his hands up my sides. I bit my lip. I loved the feeling of his hands on my body. I felt my shirt rise a little as his fingers moved over the hem of the crop top. Then I felt his fingertips against my neck as he brushed my hair back off my shoulder. I pressed against him, grinding on him to the music. His breath was hot against my neck. “Enjoying yourself, love?” He spoke his voice low and gravely. I knew he wanted to make a move. I could feel him against me. But He was trying to be respectful. Or as respectful as he could with my ass pressed to him.

“Mmhmm, but I’d be having more fun if you’d kiss me.” I started trying so hard to play cool. My heart was racing and the anticipation felt like electricity coursing through me. He moved his hands back down squeezing my hips before he turned me around to face him. He was smiling. God, he was such a beautiful man. He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “You have the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen by the way.” I blushed, losing my nerve now that I was looking him in the eye.

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” He said back. I blushed.

“That can’t be true, you’re like, insanely hot!” I blurted out. He chuckled, tightening his grip on my hip and pulling me flush against him. My hands were on his chest. Fuck he was solid. We were so close. I was even more nervous now that I had the chance to really look at him. He was wearing a plaid button-up with the top 3 buttons undone and revealing a patch of chest hair. His shoulders were broad and strong. I felt small in his arms. The way he was looking at me I felt like I’d have fallen over if he hadn’t been holding me up.

“Yeah, and you’re absolutely gorgeous,” He stated. He caressed my cheek softly before leaning in and kissing me. I immediately kissed him back. I moved so my arms were wrapped around his shoulders and tangled my fingers in his hair. He groaned softly, walking me backward until my back was pressed against the wall. He kissed me roughly and as he pulled away he caught my bottom lip between his teeth biting down softly before pressing one last gentle kiss to my lips. He looked down at me hungrily. “I wanna take you home with me.” He growled in my ear before he started kissing my neck.

“I’m sure the girls won’t miss me,” I smirked. He stopped peppering kisses along my jaw and looked me in the eyes.

“Is that a yes, love?” He raised an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on his face.

“If I don’t go with you, you’re coming home with me! I don’t wanna miss out on you!” I said. And maybe it was a little eager but I meant it. There was no way I was walking away from him now. “Give me like two seconds to let my friends know so they aren’t panicking though!” I said. He gave me a soft smile and kissed my cheek.

“Of course darling,” I walked over to where the girls were still dancing not far from me. No doubt they’d seen our spur-of-the-moment makeout session. I didn’t care.

“Hey so um…” I started.

“You Whore,” Hayley stated before I could say anything. I just laughed.

“You know it!” I joked back.

“Just make sure you use protection! I mean it!” Skyler said. “And I want details!!” She added. I laughed.

“Okay well, I’m gonna go then … you guys get home safe!”

After a quick goodbye, I turned around and found Henry at the bar closing his tab. He smiled when he saw me and pulled me to his side.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” He asked. I nodded. He kept his arm around me as we walked out. He led us to his car, opening the door for me. He got in started the car and paused. “My place or yours?” He asked nonchalantly.

“Yours, one of the girls lives right down the hall and I don’t need her keeping an eye on me.” I chuckled.

“It’s sweet that she checks in though. Do you live alone?” He asked.

“Well hold on, how do I know if I tell you that you aren’t gonna stalk me and murder me?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Because you’re already in my car and if I wanted to kill you I could just do it now.” He paused for a second and chuckled. “I’m not a murderer, I promise. Besides if I killed you I couldn’t take you on a proper date after all this. That wouldn’t be very chivalrous, and to be honest I just know I wanna see you again.” I was blushing.

“Okay, you make a good argument,” I said. “I wanna see you again too. And we haven’t fucked yet.” I immediately squeezed my eyes shut. I can’t believe I said that. And I was too nervous to see the look on his face. I felt him put his hand on my thigh. I slowly looked over at him. He was smirking.

“Oh, but we will.” He stated. He looked over at me letting his eyes roam over my body quickly before he focused back on the road.

Fuck. He’s so hot, this man is about to ruin all other men for me. I heard him chuckle. “Doing okay over there love?” He squeezed my thigh and let his hand wander further up. I bit my lip and nodded.

“Y-yeah, having the best time right now!” fucking idiot.

“It’ll be even better in a few minutes. You’re so sexy. Do you have any idea what you were doing to me back there?” It was my turn to smirk.

“I’ve got a pretty good idea. Pretty sure I could feel it!” I teased. He playfully smacked my thigh. God this was gonna be a good night.

“Not sure how you could miss it with your ass pressed against me like that.” I just laughed.

“I didn’t hear you complaining!” I said and laced my fingers with his hand that was resting on my thigh.

“I wasn’t,” he smiled, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles. He let go of my hand as he turned into his driveway and put the car in park. He waited for me in front of the car and took my hand again leading me up to his house. He quickly unlocked the door and I followed him inside.

He flipped on a light in the entryway so we could see where we were going. Then he turned back to me grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. I initiated the kiss wrapping my arms around his shoulder and tangling my fingers in his curls pulling him down to me. It was a very needy kiss. Pressing my lips to his and letting him suck my bottom lip between his. He backed me into the wall and started to kiss my neck. “Fuck your such a naughty girl, what am I gonna do with you?” He asked and then scraped his teeth across my neck. I moaned and tugged at his curls. He growled against my neck, soothing it with soft kisses. His touch was sending shockwaves through my body. I needed more of him. I ran my hands down his shoulders and over his chest. I brushed my hand over his cock, he was already getting hard. I teasingly squeezed him over his jeans. “Mmm” he moaned softly pulling away from his assault on my neck to watch me tease him.

I continued to explore his body, slipping my hands under his shirt and letting my fingers brush across his abs. I bit my lip when I felt him tense under my fingertips. He chuckled and stepped back pulling off his shirt, a proud smirk on his face. He was incredibly muscular. His chest was solid and broad. He was hairy which I had to admit was a serious turn-on. I hadn’t realized it until now. His stomach was hard and defined. It’s like he was carved out of stone. His happy trail matching his chest hair. He had to be incredibly strong. The muscles in his arms were large. He towered over me making me feel small. But his face was so soft and kind and gentle. His eyes were crystal blue and so inviting. He had such a warm smile. God I was mesmerized by this man. His voice broke me out of my trance.

“Come here Darling,” he said, pulling me to him again. He pulled at the bottom of my top and leaned in pressing a sweet slow kiss to my lips. “Take this off for me?” He asked. I bit my lip

“mmhmm” I mumbled, taking a step back to take off my top. I dropped it to the floor and looked up at him. His eyes were focused on my chest.

“Fuck” he whispered and licked his lips. His eyes flicked back up to mine. “I could tell you had big tits but, wow” he whistled jokingly and I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Omg shut up! Says the guy literally built like a Greek God!” Now he was laughing. I stood on my toes kissing him again. I reached my hand between us rubbing over his jeans. He growled against my lips.

“Mm slow down baby, we’ve got all night.” He led me to his couch and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him. Trust me Im gonna fuck you tonight darling, I’m definitely gonna fuck you.” He started kissing my neck down to my chest and he kissed the top of my breasts. Then he pulled my bra down and took my nipple in his mouth. I moaned, arching into him and he wrapped his arm around my back holding me to him.

“But you’re going to make me beg first,” I teased, biting my lip. He hummed around my breast smirking before biting down and dragging my nipple between his teeth. I gasped and ran my fingers through his hair.

“I love hearing the sounds you make for me,” He moaned as he gave the other breast the same attention. He was driving me crazy. I whimpered softly grinding my hips feeling into his. Trying to get some friction against his now fully hard cock in his jeans.

“Please Henry,” I moaned. as he finally unhooked my bra and tossed it aside. He dug his fingers into my hips keeping me still. I couldn’t help the whine that escaped me.

He kissed back up my chest leaving a chaste little kiss on my lips. Fuck he was such a tease.

“God you’re desperate for it, aren’t you love,” He smirked. “Why don’t you show me how bad you want it,” He nodded toward the floor and I knew exactly what he meant. I slid off his lap and onto my knees in front of him. He stood from the couch and pulled himself from his jeans. Fuck he was big, and already so hard. There was a bead of precum glistening from the tip. If he wanted to tease two could play that game.

I leaned forward and licked the head of his cock smiling up at him sweetly.

“Mm don’t stop now love, we're just getting started.” He moaned cock twitching in his hand as the other hand brushed the hair out of my face and rested on the back of my head.

“You’re just so big, not sure I can handle all of you,” I teased. He chuckled softly running his thumb over my bottom lip.

“You’ve been talking big talk all night baby, I’m sure you can make it fit,” He winked. I blushed but let him guide me forward taking him in my mouth. I hollowed my cheeks bobbing my head slowly. At first only took him halfway and slowly let him hit the back of my throat. He was already moaning for me. Tightening his fingers in my hair guiding me along his cock. “That's it, love, just like that, fuck,” He growled. He pushed my head further down forcing his cock further down my throat. I choked and my eyes started to water but I let him hold me there. I knew it had to feel incredible for him. He pulled me back and I came up gasping for air. He chuckled. “Fuck that’s so sexy. I need more of you.” He held out his hand to help me up and immediately crashed his lips to mine. He bit my bottom lip dragging his teeth across it slowly before finally releasing me.

“Are you gonna fuck me now baby?” I asked shyly gently running my fingers down his chest.

“You’ve more than earned it now darling.” He said kissing me again more gently this time. “But I still wanna please you first.” He smirked bending to pick me up over his shoulder.

“Henry!” I squealed laughing softly. He chuckled and smacked my ass as he carried me to his bedroom. He dropped me gently onto his bed finally ridding himself completely of his jeans and boxers. He gave me one last look asking for permission before stripping me completely as well. He didn’t speak just smiled to himself and started to kiss and grab and feel all over. Kissing my chest and my stomach. Squeezing my breasts. He settled between my legs spreading my thighs kissing and biting at the inside. He slowly made his way up to my core.

“Fucking dripping for me. I could feel it when you were in my lap. So needy.” He ran his fingers through my folds spreading my slick smirking to himself. I whimpered softly unable to take it anymore.

“Fuck please don’t tease me, I need you to touch me. Please, Henry.” I begged. He just smirked. He spread my lips swiping his tongue through my folds. He pulled me closer by my hips and started circling my clit with his tongue. He pulled it between his lips sucking softly and continued to lick. I moaned tossing my head back and my fingers found his curls again. “Oh fuck!” He slipped two fingers into me curving them into me as he continued his assault on my clit.

It wasn’t long before I felt the coil build up in my stomach. “Henry, I’m gonna cum!” I whimpered. He didn’t let up just continued through my orgasm licking up my juices and pulled back with a growl. Kissing his way back up my body.

“God you taste incredible,” He moaned in my ear before flipping me onto my knees on the bed and spreading my thighs. “I need to be inside you.” He groaned, lining himself up with my core running his head through my folds gathering the wetness there. He started to push in slowly. “Such a tight little pussy.” He groaned. “Relax for me, baby.” He leaned down kissing my shoulder as he pushed all the way in. “Such a good girl for me, always so ready for my cock.” he growled. I whimpered. I’d never felt so full. It felt incredible. He finally pulled out slowly and started a rhythm holding onto my hips as he took me from behind. Our moans the sounds of our bodies meeting filling my ears.

“Mm it feels so good,” I moaned pulling at the comforter I could feel my orgasm building again. I started to squeeze around him. Henry pulled out and I whined softly. I heard him chuckle. He flipped me onto my back wrapping my legs around his waist as he shoved himself back into me.

“I need to see your beautiful face when you cum on my cock baby.” He moaned picking up the pace. He was starting to get close too. He kissed my neck and I dug my nails into his back surely to leave scratches there tomorrow as I came undone around him. He growled in my ear as he thrusted a few more times letting go inside me.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He moaned. He kissed all over my face and smiled. “Are you alright darling?” He asked catching his breath

“I’m amazing,” I laughed.

“Fuck yeah you are,” He chuckled. He laid down next to me for a moment pulling me into him. “Just give me a minute,” he breathed.

I knew we were just getting started.

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gremlingottoosilly · 7 months

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krueger mentioned!! i was so excited to see his name in IYNTBM! do you have any silly/dark hcs or plans to write about him?

Yes!! Krueger my beloved!! I feel like the only reason he isn't as popular as Konig is because he has a canon height that is shorter than 180, so people literally don't see him hehe. Hc and my plans under the cut!

I imagine him like a childhood best friend of Konig - probably around the same age, maybe Krueger is 2 years younger. He is a lieutenant in rank(idk about the mercenary ranks bear with me here, Konig is a colonel) and he wasn't promoted as much specifically because of his violent tendencies. PMC doesn't really care about war crimes as long as it's not a public spectacle, but even the companies he was working in were quite weirded out by the shit he was pulling. yes, he is the best man if you want to torture someone - and then again, he is the best torturer out here, and he sleeps next to you, drinks next to you, hits on the same girls as you etc... He is a nasty, nasty gremlin. The type to hit on the waitresses in a very sleazy manner, the type to say "Hey guys, let's protect this one" in a creepy manner if he sees a woman agreeing with him on his very controversial statements. Currently, in the timeline of IfYouNeedToBeMean, he is sitting home because of his arm injury(got stuck in the burning car, and had to break his arms to get out) and is very angsty and bored about it. Like Konig, he can't really enjoy civilian life, medical discharge is literally his worst days, and he actually has a history of depressive episodes. He DOES NOT cope well with civilian life, and his preferred hobby at home is drinking and ignoring his therapist's messages. Konig helped him quite a bit in his habit - gave the number of his therapist, bless this poor human, trying to support him as much as he can. Konig asks him to babysit his darling because he knows that more than one month at home would probably make Krueger consider killing himself, and he also trusts the man with his life - and his wife. Sebastian has a very perverted sense of morality, but he recognizes the reader as Konig's girl, and he would not touch the stuff that belongs to him. Yeah, we are "Konig's stuff" for him. If I was writing a different story and if Konig and Krueger met the reader at the same time, I would actually see them sharing her - they are not attracted to each other, but they feel like brothers sometimes and could have this mentality of sharing everything between them. Darling stuck with two nasty perverts...yeah, not the best scenario. Unlike Korangi x Reader, Konig and Krueger wouldn't sleep with each other - so you'd have to be their release every time, each time, giving him equal attention because Konig is insecure and Krueger just loves causing problems on purpose.

#cod #konig x reader #yandere konig #sebastian krueger #krueger x reader #yandere cod

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thedvilsinthedetails · 2 months

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rosekiller band au microfic pt4

heyyy guys pt4 is hereeeee

ok so this one is a bit shorter bc I’m a bit tired today but I rlly wanted to write it anyway so I did lol but it’s not been edited like at all so there may be typos pls point them out if u spot them so I can fix them tyyyy

yayyyyy I love this one

Ok ppl who wanted to be tagged/wanted the next part: @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @picklerab23 @nikholascrow @always-reading @weirdtinkerbellversion @lady-stardust-incarnate @depressedtheatrekiddo @y0url0verb0y @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @lulublack90 (as always pls lmk if u want to be added to the taglist/don’t want to be tagged x)

link to part one

link to prev part

(EDIT: link to next part)

***

Barty’s stomach flipped as Evan looked at him, stunned and stunning. Then the moment was broken and Evan turned his head to look at Dorcas who seemed to be fighting back a laugh. This was stupid fuck this was stupid.

“Did you know about this?”

Evan asked Dorcas who shook her head.

“First time I’ve heard about it.”

Stupid, STUPID. You’re so stupid Barty why would you go and say that. You should have said no when Marls suggested it, should have said no straight away.

“It’s um- to make a statement. Kiss on the stage to piss of Riddle but it’s fine you don’t have to-“

“It’s a good idea.”

Evan said quickly.

“Oh, yeah it was Marls’. Wouldn’t want to um…steal the credit.”

Wouldn’t want you to think that the idea of kissing you plays on repeat in my mind every second I’m awake.

“Yeah. I um- I want to. I think it would be good-“

Brilliant actually it would be fucking brilliant Rosier.

Barty amended Evan’s statement.

“To make a big statement.”

“Yeah.”

Yeah. Yeah what other reason would there be Barty? What were you hoping for? Pathetic isn’t it. The way you would gladly lick the crumbs left on his plate if he asked you to. He doesn’t want to kiss you, he wants to piss of homophobes. Don’t forget that.

It was in fact too late for Barty to not forget that because all that was ringing in his ears was ‘I want to. I want to.’ Because honestly Barty was going to kiss Evan. Maybe for the only time ever in his life. But he was going to. He’d never even thought it a possibility before.

•••

I figured out that this modern world is turning the wrong way round

There’s something about the way our bedsheets turn religion upside down

So we just have sex to solve all our problems

Let’s do it again

It had been Pandora’s idea for the kiss to happen during ‘cotton candy’ and everyone had immediately agreed. It was a stroke of genius really. Barty had originally thought it should take place in a love song, but that wasn’t what this kiss was about. This kiss was about the freedom, the liberation everyone deserved to be who they were, to test their limits and experiment and not be judged for being queer or straight or promiscuous or prudish. Cotton candy was just that. A call for sexual liberation, a call to stop demonising young people for living their lives.

And I wanna get stuck between your teeth like cotton candy

So you remember me darlin’

Barty turned his head to look at Evan. Their microphones were too far apart on separate sides of the stage, everyone hated it. He felt uncomfortable so far from Evan, they just performed better when they were up close together. The crowd had actually been pretty annoyed when they saw it at first. Still when he looked he saw Evan staring back at him. He cocked his head sideways, a silent, last minute ‘are you ready?’ Evan nodded.

Im losing myself in you

In you

I know

Evan stopped playing the guitar and let it just hang around his neck as he took the microphone out of the stand. Barty watched him before taking his own mic out the stand too.

I’m losing myself in you

In you

I know

They turned to face each other and Barty began to walk.

Leave me in the morning, although

I don’t wanna be on my own

They met somewhere in the middle of the stage and suddenly the scream of the crowd dulled and the music stopped and for a moment there was nothing except Evan. Evan Evan Evan. His eyes staring straight into Barty’s. The hushed sound of their soft harmonies. The warmth of his breath dusting Barty’s face as they pressed their foreheads together.

I’m losing myself in you

In you

I know.

And they kissed. The crowd screamed. And suddenly the world was filled with colour even though Barty had his eyes screwed shut. Kissing Evan was like…fuck Barty was no wordsmith, Regulus and Pandora wrote their songs. But kissing Evan was everything. He tasted sweet and minty like the gum he’d chewed right before the show. His hand was warm and calloused and currently threaded through the hair at the base of Barty’s neck, tilting his head up just so.

The instrumental was over, they’d missed their cue. Barty didn’t care. They kept on kissing till the song faded to a close and even then kept going till the clap of the crowd died down. They softly broke away but Barty couldn’t hide the grin that broke onto his face. Evan just grinned right back.

***

AHHH YAY OK I LOVE THIS SONG CAN I JUST START BY SAYING THAT

Watch the music video for this song (cotton candy by YUNGBLUD)

LOOK AT THE SKIRT HE WEARS AND TELL ME BARTY WOULDNT WEAR THAT

Also what do we thinkkkkk they finally kissed!!!!!!

Ayyyyyy

ok stay tuned for the FIFTH and FINAL part (probs gonna be released tmrw hehe)

Also I’m probably gonna put this on ao3 btw, not gonna change it bc I don’t have the patience to properly lengthen it (at least rn, ig u never rlly know) but it’s just like if ppl want to bookmark it or reread or whatever it’ll probs be easier

ANYWAY LMK WHAT U THOUGHT

😘BYEEEEE

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apotelesmaa · 4 months

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I lovvvve thinking about dtk and black star like way past the manga (assuming black star is immortal here via him becoming a god out of sheer force of will) dealing with immortality and losing their friends it’s so fascinating to me (statements said by the truly deranged)…. Rotating it in my mind… Incomprehensible rambling under the read more

I think that like objectively kid would probably be the most prepared for it given he’s a literal death god but it would still be painful. He’s not really human but he had the very human experience of growing up with a tight group of friends and now has to deal with the very human emotion of grief and figure out how to navigate that. I feel like he would (shockingly) have a pretty healthy response after a few years of grieving because unlike with his dad he would actually get closure here. Idk if he would ever get another weapon partner again though like he would probably at least use whatever high ranking weapon at dwma was closest on the very rare chance he needed one but nobody could ever replace the thompsons. I feel like he would also just have little reminders of his friends everywhere just to keep them in his memory.

I see a lot of people saying he would withdraw completely and distance himself from humanity but like… I don’t think he would ever do that the thing about kid that really differentiated him from his dad was he was raised with humans and interacted with them frequently which fostered a connection that lord death didn’t really have. He in general has such a love for humanity and people I feel like he would be very involved at the dwma with the students and faculty. Lord death was kinda like… he Liked humans but he still viewed himself as something else first and foremost. Kicking the can of worms that was asura down the road for later never telling anyone anything because it’s a god problem not a problem for humans. He made zero effort to talk to the witches as well because he kinda just went “well they’re all evil and that’ll never change” & never confronted that belief. As opposed to dtk who went to the witches to help and put all his faith in his friends and relied on them heavily. He Likes People… He still would want to talk to the humans around him and help them. I cannot see him doing what his dad did and just locking himself in the death room forever and ever. Nothing will replace his friends but that doesn’t mean he can’t make new friends.

Black star however I think would handle it poorly for a long time I don’t think he knows what healthy coping mechanisms are. He’s very all or nothing. Only deals in extremes. Stuck in the anger stage of grief for a long time. I think he would fuck off into the wilderness for like 5 years and stew into his depression before eventually coming back to dwma like a sad wet cat. Kid knew where he was the entire time but knew he needed space so he just let him be. (Dtk voice) oh good you’re back (genuine) you are going to therapy if even if I have to drag you there myself & if you ever disappear like that again I will make you do paperwork for years (threatening). I think he would to some extent become as distanced as lord death was just because he doesn’t want to go through that again. Friendly with all the people around him but never really going past a surface level of knowing them. Also he would absolutely never get another weapon partner he would just pull a mifune and use a real non magic boring sword. Eventually gets better about the distance thing because kid mandated therapy if he wanted to keep doing missions. He kinda becomes the go to guy at dwma for dangerous missions because he thinks they’re fun and he enjoys bragging about it. Maybe trains some students on the side and makes suggestions about the curriculum. He gets absolutely no say in the day to day operations of the dwma though he would burn it to the ground. Black star lies and tells students he’s the second cooler death god. (BS voice) who cares about that stuffy guy who does boring paperwork all day you guys should be worshipping ME (dtk voice) that is because he does not know how to do paperwork. he just submits his autograph.

I ultimately think they would support each other and rely on each other because they’re friends first and foremost but also because they’re kinda the only ones who get what it’s like. They both keep the memory of their friends alive and it’s nice to have someone else who remembers them. Insert the panels of black star saying he wants to bring about a balanced world with kid or whatever he said during their rematch. Sharing the burden of both grief and also keeping the world’s balance in check. Excalibur also gets it but he and black star cannot be in the same room for more then 10 minutes before black star starts trying (and failing) to violently murder him.

As a side note I think dtk and Excalibur would become… not friends. But Excalibur was close to his dad and seems to feel some degree of responsibility over kid because of it. Functions as the annoying pop up window that tells kid to take a break and occasionally gives good advice when he isn’t acting Like That. Dtk forgives black star for ghosting him for 5 years but will never forgive being forced to spend 5 years with Excalibur by himself & so every time Excalibur comes by kid redirects him to black star like “black star was just telling me the other day he couldn’t remember your legend you should go remind him :)”

#soul eater #not very well articulated because I’m tired but I wanted it out of my head #u can interpret this as romantic or platonic I really don’t care I just like their dynamic #i have thoughts on kidstar in the romantic sense that I can share if asked but I think solely looking at a dynamic thru that lens makes you #miss things. I just like looking at canon and playing with it like it’s a sand box.#also skirting around the details of actual character death because thinking about it makes me too sad.

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therandomfandomme · 2 months

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Do I have nightmares or dreams?

I told my gf some of my dreams and they told me those sound like nightmares and I kind of see where they're coming from, but I experience it as my brain being creative and I think there is some interesting storytelling/settings happening. But idk, so I'm telling y'all the three dreams that sparked my bf's statement and getting tumblr's opinion :D

1. The Getting Chased and Twin Fight Dream

I was going to this class we watched movies for and the movie started with two twenty or so dudes on the beach. Suddenly I was one of them and we were following these weird tracks (maybe investigating something?) when we came across this older man and struck up a conversation. Halfway through the conversation a tractor with a rolling thing in front came and we had to run for our lives as it chased us. We ended up in the harbor and jumped on one of the ships that started to drift out towards the open sea.

Naturally we started calling out for help, but as we did we noticed all the moored ships had evil vibes (one guy was pulling out teeth medieval style, some dude waved with a cut off arm, that sort of thing), so we noped the hell out. But they were coming to 'help us'. Now I was the old man and I had some unnatural skills, bc I could jump really far and I jumped from mast to mast and then I was in a forest and there was this cabin. I slowed and entered the cabin, which had glass floors and koi fish swiming underneath (funny how you remember details like that).

Anyways, I entered an office and I found my twin. Suddenly I knew that the guys were chasing me, because I had done something and I was going to kill my twin and take his place to disappear. Obviously we hadn't seen each other in years and we started yelling and fighting, until we had a break through and we were friends again. We went to this library living room and sat and chatted, until he said something stupid and I got mad and we started fighting again, but this time I did kill him.

Then I was entering the cabin again. We fought again, made up again, went to the living room again. And as I sat there, I suddenly said: "Can we pause the movie now?" Because I'd realized that I was in a movie and if we paused it now, we would always be stuck in this good moment and never have to live through the bad ending that was inevitable if it continued, because as a movie it was never going to have a different ending.

2. The Sibling Murder and Meat Forest Dream

I was in a boarding school somewhere, I think France, but it wasn't really important. I wanted to kill my older brother (I do not have an older brother). And there was this guy, whose little sister I was friends with, who told me how he killed their middle brother with a bow and arrow in the forest next to the school. I convinced his little sister to sneak out with me to go look at the forest, because I wanted to see how and where he'd done it.

So me and this girl were walking through the forest and I started to feel kind of bad, because she seemed to be having a good time and saying how glad she was we still hung out like this, meanwhile I was looking around to see her brother's murder site. So I asked her if she knew what her brother had done. She turned around and said: "Of course" and her eyes were hollowed out and black and her mouth was filled with little sharp teeth (think Bilbo in Rivendell when he sees the Ring again) and then she lunged at me.

I jumped back in fear and started running with her chasing me. All around me the forest was now meat. Well, the ground was red pulsing meat, the branches were still wood but all the leaves were like skin hanging from them. Until I shot out of the forest and unto the boarding school lawn and up to the front door on which I started pounding, until finally the headmistress opened up. I started to explain what happened, apologize for being out late, but that I'd make it up and I just got scared because my mind started playing tricks on me and that my friend was still out there.

Instead of getting mad at me, she called for her husband and to bring the shotgun. I said: "Why would you do that? My friend is still out there, we just got scared. It wasn't real, right?" and she just ushered me behind her and locked the door that has multiple heavy locks as she peered out the window and said: "They're coming." Then shadows started to descent on the school.

3. The Professor and Lava Pit Dream

I don't exactly remember what happened that lead up to the moment, but I was in this room in my house (which was totally not my real house) and there was this dungeon room with a pool that was filled with lava instead. I was being held there by the Professor (the little blue puppet from Watcher's Puppet History), while my mom was held upstairs. We were kind of mutual leverage held apart from each other by tyrant the Professor (I also don't know why).

Anyways, I was trying to escape, communicating secretly with my mom and running around, which the Professor obviously heard, because he came downstairs to check on me. As an alibi that it wasn't me, I had cut off one of my legs and thrown it in the lava, so when he came to ask about the footsteps I said: "That couldn't have been me, I only have one leg" as I showed him. I was also like a nine year old little boy for some reason. He believed me and then turned around, which is when I killed him.

We kept his body in this glass case to assure ourselves he was really dead, but I couldn't let it go, so I slept outside in front of it, so I could keep an eye on him just in case. My mom was really happy to be freed and that I saved us, so she wanted to throw me a party, which was really sweet. She didn't want my imput because I had done more than enough, but she only invited people I vaguely knew or hadn't spoken to in years, so I wanted to cancel but then I'd have to call them and speak to them (honestly, only stressful part of the dream). I luckily woke up before the calls or the party could happen.

@one-time-i-dreamt as a dream expert, opinions? xp

#rrrambles #dreaming #dreams #dream #nightmare #poll #tumblr poll #tumblr polls #polls #the professor #watcher entertainment

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kurisus · 2 years

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Chapter 102-2 thoughts

Considering how eventful this chapter was, I'm surprised I didn't catch wind of any spoilers beforehand. That said, spoilers to follow~

The thing I wanna start with is Yato talking about Hiyori summoning him back from Yomi, but the way he remembers it is as "Yato" rather than "Yaboku" like she actually said. Thus, he's finally mentally broken free of that control Father held over him.

He follows that up by reminding trash dad he's been the one hurting him this whole time, only showing up with crocodile tears and bandages as a way to excuse all he's done.

The pages of the brief fight between Chiki and Rekki, and the one of Yato slicing trash dad's neck open, are so goddamn cool. So satisfying. I will be looking at these pages whenever I need a pick-me-up. My boy finally got 'em :')

Before I get to that, though, I have to laugh at Ebisu this chapter. Man strolls into the gravekeeper's home, almost destroys the shrine, then pauses and asks for the sorcerer's name. Once it's given to him, he lets the guy die and strolls back out, presumably with the name intact. King shit, I love you little businessman boy.

ngl, I didn't really see it coming that all those people with the gravekeeper were dead, too. That's definitely one way to go about receiving the name without having to kill children. And the way they reincorporated that plot detail from Hiyori's grandma was lovely. The writing in this manga is beautiful.

That said, I still don't think we're quite out of the woods. Like I've mentioned before, they told us this place is very, very dangerous and we haven't seen that, still. While my first instinct was to celebrate that Father's finally bitten the dust, there's probably something still yet required to defeat him. idk. it's nagging at me, though. Ebisu's statement "I've already devoted plenty of lives to this" combined with his realization that he's died here in the past almost makes me want to say he has been the gravekeeper in several cycles, but...there was still a line of humans carrying out this duty. He wouldn't have passed the duty back to them, right?

What happened to kill the gravekeeper's family? Why was he left alive, and they were all killed young? The answer to this is probably the same "danger" on this island.

HOWEVER I'm still going to celebrate Father's death. We deserve it. Watching him bleed out while begging for Yato to understand had me like YESSSSSSSS DIE A MISERABLE DEATH.

So yeah let's go back to that. Yato did clarify "Yaboku dies with you" means the version of himself that's tied to his dad will die, like was frantically speculated when he first said that, and he'll be free to live a happy life with his friends.

As much as I want to believe that was really Hiyori and Yukine appearing there at the end, it probably isn't. Yukine is still having a meltdown, and Hiyori is stuck outside of her body with no way to return. Plus we saw Yato's hands just before, and they were stained with blight.

So Father's dying, the gravekeeper did die, Ebisu (presumably) knows his true name, Yato's not in great shape, and Hiyori is running after Mizuchi. What do I think will happen next?

As usual, I have several ideas: Father will reincarnate into a different body. Fujisaki himself will probably either die or wake up in a panic (remember, Father's spirit is outside of the physical body at the moment. I don't know that getting his throat cut would necessarily kill him, if his spirit is still alive). Since Amaterasu has seen Father, she'll be able to track his new body. From there, I would like to say she'll obliterate him for good, but there's still also the nagging question of Heaven's corruption. What if they wanna trap him so they can study him like a bug? What if they kill Amaterasu? What if Father reincarnates as a really young kid, and there's the ethical question of killing children again? What's going to happen to Ebisu and Take, now that they're the ones with the knowledge of his name? The final arc only just started. It wouldn't wrap up after 3 chapters, right? Something else has gotta happen, but what?

I'm definitely going to think more on this and see if I can come up with a more solid idea before next month. We're definitely in the denouement of the series, but as always Adachitoka is staying two steps ahead of all of us. Outfoxed again!

#Noragami #Noragami spoilers #Noragami manga #haha. I'm so afraid next chapter they're gonna be like SIKE IT'S THE LAST ONE #ma'am this is my emotional support manga that traumatizes me every month who am I gonna be without it #live update

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anyatomy · 5 months

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TOP 5...................... tma fears :3

this is so difficult because like. these are abstract concepts i have so many different thoughts on that just sorting them on pure opinion is DIFFICULT and so subject to change (even though there is a consistent cast at the top of my list but like… gahrgehrha theyre all COOL!!!!!!!)

but. ok. take all this with more than a grain of salt bc these all shift and also IDK. IDK. but:

1) the flesh: gore of any kind from medical to Fantastical both utterly fascinates me and also makes me so incredibly queasy. i am a very queasy person im easily grossed out. but GOD. GOD. the flesh is SO COOL. conceptually the flesh garden is my absolute favorite episode. God i wish we had a cool avatar people think is hot instead of the fucking homophobe

2) the buried: hezekiahs statement. does something to my brain. i dont know. im so terrified of being buried alive and the statement about the guy being stuck in that box for 4 days freaks me out Utterly but its just. Being crushed is so cool. And it can be used more metaphorically in SUCH INTERESTING WAYS!!! GRAHHH

those are the entities i hold the most tangible feelings on. after this it becomes even MORE nebulous

3) the slaughter: associating music with violence is literally so fucking cool that was such a smart move. i wish there was more canon exploration of things in the vein of grifters bone instead of just. war. but its just SO COOL and how melanie experiences the slaughter is so >{~£]^~*]€~*]£ ITS SO COOL

4) the corruption: bugs freak me out so much in ways i cant describe so this isnt as high up bc i jsut Cant deal with it BUT. Associating love with bugs and rotting on a cosmic scale is so fucking sick. winslow really got me thinking abt the corruption man

5) the stranger: i dont have many thoughts on the stranger this is here because i think the circus and nikola and just the whole plot of season 3 is the best the show ever was and i feel like ive gotta rank it high for my pure enjoyment of that storyline

final tidbits on entity opinions under the cut ^__<

the spiral, eye, desolation, and lonely are cool but they are so overused and often interpreted in ways that just make me mad. youre not a lonely avatar because youre alone you would be taken by the lonely. youre a lonely avatar if you cultivate it. eye avatars arent just curious they are curious to a fault to the point of pain and disaster and destruction. GERRY ISNT A DESOLATION AVATAR BECAUSE HE BURNS THINGS. Their whole purpose is to hurt people as deeply as they can and make them loose everything in the worst way possible. Gerry sweeps up the ashes of a desolation avatar he kills and apologetically hands them to a nurse while covered in burns that should be deadly

i wish i could like the hunt bc its cool conceptually but its too tied to cops for me to like it.

extinction scares me too much. so does the vast kinda and the dark a little. but the darks also boring to me Sorry manuela dominguez 🙏

the end and the web are cool enough but i like their avatars more than the conceptual Entities so they dont score.

#gasks #i love opinions i love explaining things

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fuckmeupjackson · 2 years

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(?) MIKE INDIRECTLY CALLS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH EL FAKE/BULLSHIT in SEASON 3

ok, i've been thinking about this.

so a while ago I saw this post by the legendary @kaypeace21 where she talks about how the word "bullshit" has been used to describe dysfunctional relationships in stranger things...

Nancy to Steve in s2, saying she doesn't love him and that it's all "bullshit." Later, the two break up because of this loveless, superficial relationship. Kaypeace21 draws the parallel between stancy and mileven, when Dustin calls mileven's relationship "bullshit." (Kaypeace made the image down below, i took a screenshot of it is that ok??? i don't even know sorry if it's not, all credit goes to her. I didn't reblog her post because it was really long and I just wanted to isolate this idk)

But, also in season 3, we see Mike make this statement about El spying on him after their break-up:

Now, when I first saw this scene obviously I thought it was really funny, but there was also something that felt.. I guess, out of place about it. Like, it's not a typical joke that you hear in your average stranger things episode haha. But then I thought about it and how it stuck out, and how it tied back in to all this "bullshit" talk. Characters refer to bad relationships and generally non-genuine things as "bullshit" "shit" or "stupid" so... I know this is really weird but,

Guys.... I think this might have been Mike's coded way of saying he was afraid that El would find out their relationship is, in fact, actually bullshit. He doesn't want her to know what he was thinking/feeling. He doesn't want her to know that he sat on his couch, lazily complaining, asking how in the world it could possibly be his fault she's mad at him, saying things that downplayed her feelings because she's a girl. That's not what you do when you really love someone, especially if you're Mike Wheeler. We've seen his potential for caring for people, just in all the times he desperately searched for, apologized to, and comforted Will.

And ON TOP of that, later on in season 3 when he's admitting his love for her to the rest of the group, she's in the BATHROOM. Then when she comes out and asks what's happening, he acts all terrified like he didn't just say anything important. Almost like he was afraid, yet again, that she would find out he's lying. One more connection to establish this is that when she's in the bathroom with Max earlier, he is afraid she is "conspiring against him." It was all played off as very humorous, but it shows that in general when she's in the bathroom, he's afraid she's listening to him spill bullshit out of his mouth. .. also... he calls her a spy, and in s2 he calls Will a spy, but that time it's fondly... a spy against the mindflayer, aka the bad guy. I think he's insecure about his lying, and doesn't want El to see him as the bad guy and conspire against him for it as the "spy".

Just a theory, idk if this is true, idk if the writers will make byler endgame, but it's just got me thinking ...

this looks pretty bad for mileven to me...

-------also please let me know if this has been said before ------

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #byeler #stranger things #bullshit #nancy wheeler #parallels #analysis #parallel #st s3 #st s2 #break-up

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wowowwild · 1 year

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Ok so I've played through all of the first game now so I'm just going to ramble on for a bit. I was previously familiar with all but the last case.

Tbh if you don't go in a wrightworth shipper you aren't very likely to come out as one. The first game has it's moments, but I'm hoping the following games are more concrete bc I wouldn't want wrightworth to be athing at this juncture. Miles has too much personal development going on, he's not ready for that. Also, different than I was expecting: Miles seems more into Phoenix than vice versa and I thought it would be the other way around. Phoenix has that undying optimism for Miles (which may be hurting their case actually), but it's not convincing as romantic interest for me. Not that I would say it's impossible he's interested, it just hasn't developed much yet.

I like the overall theme/lens to view through of leaving, being left, and choosing to stay (my personal interpretation, and I am in now way writing a complete thesis paper here).

The first instance is in Mia's death. You could argue Phoenix's choosing to stay starts with Larry, but I think Mia's death is where it really takes off. Mia's death is a consequence of her choosing to stay (she chose her patch and stuck to it), and the consequence of her death is leaving. Phoenix and Mays are the most notable of those left behind. Phoenix is the one with the power in this situation and he chooses to stay (with Maya). He consistently chooses to stay with Miles, his belief unwavering.

We learn that Miles left and is choosing at first to stay leaving. In the Powers case he seems to be beginning to be choosing to stay and makes the decision more thoroughly during his own trials. His decision to stay with Phoenix and his morals. At the end (we all know what happens next) he chooses to stay by leaving.

At the end of Miles' cases, Maya leaves, but her leaving is really more about staying. She is leaving now so she can stay later, more staying by leaving.

Ema and Lana have the benefit of doing the leaving staying arc over the course of a single case. Lana left her morals and subsequently her sister but Ema chose to stay and so Lana had a place to come back to. Ema assures her during the trial that no matter what they'll still be sisters and showing once again she is staying. Had Ema chose to leave, Lana would be in jail and their relationship would never recover. Had Lana chosen to stay leaving the result would be much the same.

Rip to Gummy in RFtA. Phoenix is constantly roasting him, the guy (temporarily) loses his job, he has the worst timing imaginable. Love my boy.

I really like Angel Starr and Jake Marshall. They're such compelling characters and their gimmicks are fun. I feel like no one talks about them but at some point in the future expect many reblogs featuring them (idk when anything will pop out of my queue, it's got close to 500 in it so i keep having to up how many it posts daily)

Phoenix really sets up the 'Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death' with his 'you can either let what happened kill the prosecutor in you or let it grow' paraphrasing obviously bc I cannot be bothered to find the exact words but I knew as soon as I saw it.

I need someone to get Larry some help. idk if anyone can help him, but someone ought to try.

Not actually related to my playthrough but I got a 'let the parrot take the stand' shirt and it's my nee favorite article of clothing.

I don't have any other thoughts off the top of my head so that's it for now, but my other statements i started live blogging are under (#game posting) and I have decided I will continue to live blog as I go through JFA

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright #wrightworth #maya fey #dick gumshoe #mia fey #larry butz #lana skye #ema skye #angel starr #jake marshall #game posting #pwaa

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aro-culture-is · 2 years

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hi im really confused about who i am and it makes me nervous so ive found this account. Firstly im dating with a guy for a while but every day im thinking that am i using him?? cause he always wants to do some romantic things but i do not and i wanna do what im doing with my friends and wanna do sexual things (also we’re doing it too) and thats the problem am i using him?? but when we do the things what friends do im getting happier but i cant want any romantic things in my relationship and i think i never want it idk im so confused…

hi!

being an aromantic person in any kind of relationship is not inherently "using" someone, manipulation, abuse, or anything of that ilk.

what I do think is important to acknowledge is that if your relationship is not comfortable for you, it's time to consider your boundaries and priorities. if you aren't comfortable, that means that communication needs to occur. my number one advice for communication in situations like these is:

SAFETY FIRST. Physical safety - if this conversation occurs, do you have genuine concern that you may experience physical assault or in any way be blocked from accessing essential things like food, drink, sleep, or living space? if ANY of those are yes, please consider that your number one priority. I start with this over the concept of emotional safety because there's a few caveats there: as someone with a history of trauma, I know I have to spend additional energy into confirming if my expectation for emotional hurt is realistic or trauma-informed.

From there: what are realistic expectations and boundaries to enforce. NOT just discuss. Enforce. If you aren't comfortable with romantic actions in your (romantic)-sexual relationship, a good start is redefining your relationship - it probably isn't realistic to continue a romantic relationship with someone if you don't want romance in your relationship. Some relationships can be redefined as romantic on one side and not on the other, but in all honesty, I don't get the impression from your ask that you are emotionally in a place where that is likely to be a realistic expectation. I don't see someone who is terrified that their identity makes them manipulative being able to enforce their boundaries consistently.

Support network setup: if you can, try to make sure you will have ways to handle your emotions following your conversations and boundary setting, no matter how it goes. Consider what helps you process your emotions - is it other friends, therapists, trusted adults? Is it a soothing activity like playing/listening to music, making food, or crafting in some form? Is it mentally stimulating activities that force you to take a break from the intensity of your feelings, like sudoku or other puzzles, reading, or physical activities?

Next: talking time! Use "I" statements - "I've noticed that I feel weird when we have romantic interactions." is WAY better than "When you do a romantic thing towards me, that feels bad." One owns your emotions and encourages listening, the other encourages a subtle sense of blame towards the other and is likely to make them defensive. Speak on your own emotions, and allow and encourage the other to speak to their own feelings as well.

Decompress and process. However that conversation went, let yourself feel it. If you're upset, you can think "I feel upset. When I feel upset, these things often help me to feel better." I would encourage thinking "I feel" rather than "I am", as it helps you to not identify yourself as a feeling. Thinking "I am sad" can encourage you to feel stuck in that emotion, rather than acknowledging an emotion as a state of being. You are allowed to feel, and you are allowed to chose what to do with that feeling.

Overall... everything will be okay. It might not feel like it right now, but you will be okay. Drink some water, eat a small snack, ad try to rest. You deserve to have healthy boundaries, and every day that you can establish them will help to improve your life. I wish you the best.

#Anonymous #not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #advice #i might link this in the pinned post actually?#i feel like i write out these communication advice lists a lot lol #lmk in the replies/reblogs/tags if y'all would like that

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leqclerc · 1 year

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Honestly, I don't mind the arrogance, I don't mind the confidence. All athletes are like that. But it's the blatant lying that annoys me. He says things that are so easily refutable and it's like he thinks we as fans are stupid and will just believe whatever he says. (like the examples you gave - Monaco 2021 "I could've been on pole", "I've never been slower than 2 tenths", hungary "the car was just slow")

what is also annoying is when he thinks that it's just bad luck that he doesn't get the results that he thinks he deserves, like I think it was in zaandvoort (?) where after qualifying P3 behind charles and max he said that for some or the other reason he can't seem to get pole and it's like yeah, the reason is that they're just better than you. Or Monaco last year where he could've won if it wasn't for the blue flag car getting in his way (like his teammate wasn't just taken out back and shot in the same race).

I also don't mind drivers being ruthless and selfish, but then you have to own it. Don't play up to the media what a team player you are, but then argue for 9 laps when asked to give the place up for the faster car, or to defend for your teammate who has a tyre disadvantage but then attack him first chance you get after disrespecting the team (and then saying how funny you find this in interviews) or going against strategy and attack your teammate when the plan was to get the tyres in the optimal window like in the Austria sprint (I could feel charles annoyance through the TV screen, and honestly who can blame him).

Like if you want to be a confident ruthless driver, own it. It works for some people like max and Fernando, people will respect you for being real. But this saying how you will do anything for the team result and then not showing that on track when it matters or talking about how modest you are just after you say how no one recognizes your speed, it just comes across as so so false. You really can't be surprised that fans dont connect with you

For sure, yeah, if he stuck to one version and owned it at least it wouldn't be as disingenuous. 🥴 It's just funny ig because before he joined Ferrari, this notion that he's a fair, humble guy and a team player was really prevalent and even marketed as one of his biggest strengths as a driver. He was supposed to be the guy for the job and it was widely expected that after the ~tumultuous~ Seb and Charles era, particularly 2019, Ferrari will be eager to cut to the chase and outline clear roles within the team. 2021 doesn't matter as much because it was written off as a learning midfield year pretty much, but as soon as Ferrari got back to being competitive again, and were in for a real shot at the championship? I don't think anyone could've predicted that Ferrari would suddenly become so indecisive and fail to throw their weight 100% behind Charles at a crucial moment, especially when it seemed that's... exactly what they had been grooming him for since he outperformed Seb.

So yeah, the conflicting statements and discrepancies are really annoying and it makes it hard to take him seriously. Like when he said, I think in Brazil? That he would've given up his position for Charles had the team told him to. First of all, why didn't they??? (I didn't listen to Carlos's radio but nothing was broadcast on ~main so) And second of all, can we really believe that??? Given his track record so far?? Idk, it's a mess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Monaco 2022 (colorised):

#replies #anonymous #discussions and predictions #i remember people debating this back and forth on reddit afterwards and like #i think someone pulled out data to prove latifi only marginally impacted carlos's lap and moved over as soon as it was safe to do so #alex @ charles: *immovable object for a full lap*#i love alex but lol that was not it #and then mattia's like “omgggg we lost bc red bull uhhhhhhh crossed the pit exit line early” missing the point entirely #like lmfao pit exit is the LEAST of your worries my brother in christ your house is on fire #😭😭😭

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being-a-human-isnt-very-fun · 3 months

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About recent Oklahoma legislation

Since everyone's talking about the anti-furry/therian/otherkin bill, I wanna say that it hasn't been passed and was just proposed by some quack that happens to be a politician. It's getting a lot of press because it's ridiculous, not because it is going to be passed.

So far the only action the bill has gone through is being made and introduced to the House. No votes and no other official actions. It hasn't been introduced to the Oklahoma Senate, there are no actuarial statements, no fiscal statements (though I can't imagine this would cost anything).

And in case you are doubting what an actual whack job this guy is, let me tell you some information about Rep. Justin Humphrey. First I just wanted to point out that he took his photo for the Oklahoma House of Representatives in a cowboy hat. Not that that really matters but it gives you a sense of his overall personality. He's a representative of Oklahoma district 19, and allegedly has pre-filed one other anti-lgbtq bill that I couldn't actually find in his history but another article I read said he did so...just decide the validity of that on your own I guess. I linked some of his other questionable bill ideas down below:

ok so this one is about the Tucker Carlson and Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit. Basically what happened is Tucker (who has a talk show on Fox News btw) said that DVS rigged the election against Trump, and DVS sued him, because that isn't true. And our homie Justin Humphrey wrote a bill that...continued to not use Dominion Voting systems? Idk this guy is kind of a nut job and this bill literally reads like a fancier version of a twitter post.

Ok so I'm sure I'm boring you at this point but this whole guy's Oklahoma Senate position is just pushing a bunch of really odd bills that are either dead or stuck in committee.

My point is, please don't spread misinformation about this. It isn't a big deal. All my Oklahoma peeps out there don't need to be worried.

Here are my sources and some extra reading:

#anti furry bill #oklahoma #republican #conservative #furry #about anti furry #about anti kin #senate #bills #therianthropy #alterhuman #nonhuman #discourse #censorship #misinformation

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satanfemme · 2 years

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contemplating/venting about work under the cut

also. fuck my job for giving us such a low borderline-meaningless raise. I wanna know what kinda raise the CEO got this year. all the higher-ups are like "YAYYY!! you guys are making more now!!! isn't that so exciting ^_^!! see! we care about our employees!!" meanwhile it's still nowhere near enough to live on, all of my coworkers and I are poor as fuck, and the job is inherently emotionally/physically destructive. it's a sacrifice we all knowingly signed up for, but NOT for the "reward" of poverty. imho.

I have coworkers living with both a partner AND roommates just to afford one tiny apartment. one of my coworkers moved down the street from work to save on gas money (among other reasons). lots of us have side hustles, needless to say. whenever I mention having a whole studio apartment for myself, the first thing I'm always asked is "HOW?!?!?! how do u afford that?!?!?!" and of course the answer is "I don't, lol. nearly all of my paycheck goes towards it and then I take on debt to afford most other things". but I mean, look at that exchange, isn't that insane? an adult mentions to a co-worker that they're renting one (1) shitty room for themself and a dog to spend most of their time in, and the co-worker's immediate reaction is shock cause that's a fucking Luxury lifestyle? might as well say I own a yacht. but the reaction is literally rational and correct!!!!! it's so depressing. it's so so depressing that this is just reality. our CEO was making the equivalent of $80/hr last year. all the higher ups think we should be over the moon for $16/hour this coming year. what kind of raise did the CEO give themself? what will $16/hr cover a year from now really; in autumn 2023? cause in autumn 2022 it's already not covering much.

the deafening silence during our budget meeting, when all us wage employees were asked if we had any questions about the raise. we were previously told (tho, in no on-paper legally-binding way) it'd be to $17/hour. $17 was the Bare Minimum living wage for this area back in 2019. it's now 2022, and we were denied that wage. why? that's my question. but I didn't ask it either, obviously.

I know I'm not the only one feeling stuck and scared. every convo with my co-workers lately, no matter what topic it started with, has somehow turned itself into mutual grief of "I wish I weren't struggling to survive. I really like this job. there's no better animal welfare jobs in the area. this was my escape from a shitty animal welfare job. there's no guarantee that any other job, in any field, would let me be gay/trans/disabled/mentally ill/myself/etc the way I can here. many jobs would turn me away immediately. I feel overworked. I don't know how to afford things." ...and then I bring up the "CEO makes $80/hr" fact and lol. the unspoken tension that plain statement adds to the conversation.

I'd call myself a lil firestarter for it, but the info is public and easy to find. I'm surprised I'm the only one who did the math but I'm glad more people are becoming aware of it. the wage employees are the ones DOING the actual work here, u know? the paperwork, and blog posts, and emailing bestie PETA (ugh), and handshaking the governor (who's actively attempting to pass transphobic legislation but shhhhh) are all very important for the business the cause as well I'm sure, but an animal welfare org would not EXIST without the laborers who know how to, you know, care for the animals. even at the expense of ourselves and our safety.

oops idk, is this rant getting mean? the higher ups are always very nice to me, I'm being a lil mean. but I had to help give a co-worker first aid the other day, and when we were like "hey, you clearly broke something, you're covered in blood, you're fading in and out of consciousness, and we don't know how long you were out before you were able to call for help. let's drive you to a hospital now." they refused to go anywhere but an urgent care clinic cause, u know, money? and then I clocked out late cause we're so overworked we can't afford a single detour during our shift like that. (and can't clock out til all the work is done ^_^). so yeah if I'm coming off a lil bit like a mean commie rn maybe that experience is why. I wonder how often the CEO gets injured on the job? do u think the $80/hr is to cover all those dog bites they get on the daily ... in their personal office space nowhere near the animals?

idk if we're gonna unionize any time soon, but I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. maybe that's the silver lining. still, it doesn't stop the nightmarish elephant in the room either. anywaysssss that's my rant for the day thx

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