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#guys trust my joker is very very silly
ashchoo · 7 months
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oh? Who’s this,,,?? :D
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geemyfirstluvstory · 6 months
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hey boy, listen…
“my first love story…my angel…and my girls…my sunshine. hey, hey, lets go!”
fem reader. matching halloween costumes with bllk characters. bllk x reader. fluff. characters (separate): michael kaiser, oliver aiku, bachira meguru, hiori yo, chigiri hyoma, kunigami rensuke, itoshi sae+rin, isagi yoichi, shidou ryuusei, nagi seishiro, mikage reo
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michael kaiser - joker x harley quinn
• this man is certified bonkers so of course he’s the joker and as his loyal worshipper you’re harley quinn
• perhaps a prophecy of the status of your relationship perhaps you just look stylish (ITS THE SECOND ONE PLEASE PICK THE SECOND ONE)
• such a softie for you but would never admit it, you chose the costume and he made sure to get the finest ones money could buy though the pictures you took…he’d rather not see himself dressed as a clown criminal mastermind.
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oliver aiku - nick & judy (zootopia)
• this was his idea, y’know damn well this man is a party animal so you just have to trust he’s not cheating
• so he decides to make you feel better, he’ll bring you along and do matching costumes. • i just know this man likes putting on animal ears and kids movies thats why y’all are nick and judy
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bachira meguru - thing 1 & 2
• remember how he got called a weirdo as a kid? he’s definitely a weirdo. eats toothpaste, drinks milk from the carton, milk before cereal. a total goof ball
• he loves children’s books and even as at his big age of 17 he still makes you read them to him and pretends he’s a kid going to bed (IN A WHOLESOME WAY)
• so when the halloween party came up he wanted to go as his favourite book characters, thing 1 & 2. and of course you agreed
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hiori yo - kuromi and my melody
• of course he’s my melody and you’re kuromi. this was his idea so he gets first dibs
• being the gamer he is he enjoys playing with you, you two are always the cringe couple in the lobby with matching usernames and avatars and he does all the carrying but he also enjoys playing those silly little retro girls games like ‘hamham heartbreak’ and the old cardcaptor sakura games.
• in conclusion he’s a total nerd thats a total sucker for the female gaze
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chigiri hyoma - team rocket
• this man is a total princess and every year you guys dress as a cartoon couple only to do the same costume the next year but switch the roles so one year he might be james and the next jesse
• this year he’s james, he even did a temporary dye on his hair for accuracy but of course no cutting.
• he loves doing hair with you and for this year’s costume you were the one washing and dyeing his hair
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kunigami rensuke - raven and beast boy
• you like cartoons, he likes superheroes, you both need a cute matching costume, easy compromise. you both came up with this together while brainstorming
• this man is a lovesick loser so beast boy was very easy to pull off and the most perfect costume for the two of you. the only real inaccuracy is that he’s pretty big
• homemade costumes for the win, of course you’ll buy bits and pieces but overall a homely look because rensuke will do anything to bond with you
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itoshi sae - light and misa
• sae canonically likes chibi maruko san, who’s to say he isn’t a big weeb? in fact this was his idea. he’s really convincing when it comes to halloween
• he’s a lot like light, cold, calculating, smart so it suited him and besides since light dresses similarly it only fit and since you’re so hopelessly in love with him, it was destiny
• sae isn’t the type to work with his hands but he also didn’t like the quality of pre made costumes. living in europe gave him refined taste so you two went on a designer shopping spree for individual pieces to make your costumes.
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itoshi rin - coraline’s parents
• you’re probably a total wuss, even if you’re not, rin still can consume more horror, gore, and other gross things than anyone. accumulating in him wanting to do a matching costume with you only if it was some horror character.
• you agreed and settled on coraline since it’d be fun and easy, to match you dressed as coraline’s parents, specifically the other parents with the button eyes
• your favourite part was doing his hair and makeup, rin is like a cat taking a bath you really had to pin him to his office chair or on the bed to do his makeup properly, and yeah theres plenty of kisses
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isagi yoichi - alice and the cheshire cat
• he’s so bland, (im kidding pls dont come for me) but he loves you so, so he’ll sacrifice the main character spot for you just this once. you’re alice and he’s the cat, of course this was completely your idea
• yoichi doesn’t care too much for this kind of thing, he originally intended to spend halloween cuddling and watching movies with you, perhaps invite some friends over or have some fun without them if you know what i mean….
• but he enjoyed being your cute kitty for a night, you dragged him out and about to take pictures and being blue lock’s hero there was no short of attention
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shidou ryusei - cleo denile and deuce
• ryusei is very eccentric, kind of weird, in a hot way not in a cute way like meguru. and as you made him watch boo york with you he took one look at cleo and was like “yeah” so in away it was your idea but not really
• you’re his princess and he’s the douche looking boyfriend, i’m not sure about you but it most definitely suits him.
• as you guys went out and about this halloween you know he’s already thinking about next year, perhaps raven queen and derick charming. maybe barbie and ken?
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nagi seishiro - veggie tales
• let me tell you i’ve actually done this costume irl, seishiro is a lazy fellow he doesn’t like putting in much effort but he’s a cutie patootie and he does adore his pookie
• matching costumes was your idea, to dress as the cucumbers from veggie tales however was his idea as all he had to do was buy the costumes and look cute
• fan reactions and his friends; they found it so stupid it was hilarious, compared to all the other celebrity couples costumes you two chose….children’s cartoons.
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mikage reo - the adam’s parents
• he’s rich so it’s gotta be classy, you two were going to some gala held by his family company, the mikage corporation, cute and classy lets go
• reo really isn’t one for movies so this was your idea, he’s a total simp for you, absolutely floored all the time with no exception. kissing you up and grovelling at your feet like his morticia adams
• in the end your costume really did suit the occasion made for the best pictures. you guys are now pinterest king and queen every halloween
___
School’s been kicking my ass so i had to do this quickly, anyway what are you guys dressing up as this year?
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baileypie-writes · 6 months
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~🃏Joker Dating Headcanons🃏~
Fandom: Smile Precure
Reader: Gender Neutral
Relationship: Romantic
Warnings: None!
A/N ~ I’ve been in love with Joker for years. He’s just so silly.
‼️Glitter Force Stans DNI‼️
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~ Joker is surrounded my idiots pretty much all the time, and he honestly thought he’d never get a break. That is, until he met you. My goodness, you were like a breath of fresh air to him. He got attached to you pretty quick.
~ Before he confesses, he’s constantly flirting with you. His favorite things to do are magic tricks that end with you getting flowers or some kind of romantic message. However, when it comes to actually confessing, it takes him forever. This is mostly because he’s a little menace, and likes messing with you. You’ll either have to confess first, or just be patient. If you decide to wait for him to do it, oh boy, does he put on a show. Literally. He’s very flashy when he asks you out.
~ He compliments you a ton. He loves making you blush, he finds it cute and hilarious. He calls you a bunch of cheesy nicknames, mostly to bother or fluster you. His favorites are: my dear, doll, honey-cakes, and love bug. These are just a few. He makes some up on the spot, and they get really ridiculous.
~ Have you ever heard of people who bite their parter as a sign of affection? Well, Joker’s kind of like that. Except he doesn’t bite, he licks. Not even in a dirty way, just for fun. He loves sneaking up behind you, and just licking your cheek. He always laughs his ass off at your reaction. Like I said before, he’s a menace.
~ Joker loves to spoil you! He always brings you big bouquets of flowers and handmade cards(that may or may not explode with confetti) with sweet messages in them. You could mention something you want once, and he’d hand you that same item not even a day later. Where did he get it? Does he even have money? You’ll never know.
~ Whenever Joker is irritated, whether it be from losing to the Pretty Cure, or being dissatisfied with the process of reviving Pierrot, he tends to distance himself from you. He doesn’t want you to see him like that. He also doesn’t want to potentially lash out at you by accident.
~ He doesn’t like it when you hang out with the other guys in Bad End. It’s not that he gets jealous(okay, maybe a little), it’s that he knows how unkindly they treat each other. He doesn’t want you to be treated the same way. Before you even met Wolfrun, Akaoni or Majorina, Joker told them that they must treat you with the utmost respect. However, he still doesn’t fully trust them, so he likes you to keep your distance.
~~baileypie-writes
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fandomsnstuff · 9 months
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This is for that au roulette thing i reblogged uhh yesterday
AU: Community theatre
Barry's in hell. He died in a horrific car crash and everything that's happened in the last hour has been the universe punishing him for stealing Alex J's cupcake on the last day of 3rd grade. This is the only explanation.
It couldn't possibly be because he's smitten for a very pretty girl he's known only since he forced himself to socialise and volunteered to do lights at the city theatre. How long has it been? Three weeks? Twenty years? Fifteen minutes? 
But she caught him singing to himself and convinced him to sing to her for real. Then when the guy playing the titular character turned out to be an absolute jerkwad, he was shoved into an audition room and now he's sitting in a chair trying not to cringe as Taako paper machés half his face. 
Why they decided to do Phantom of the Opera, Barry will never understand. Their funding is about 20 dollars and a paperclip, but the things Magnus can rig up with some plywood and a quick trip to Home Depot are truly magical. 
The dressing room door opens and in the mirror he sees Lup come up behind him, very obviously suppressing a smile. 
"You're laughing at me," he deadpans.
"No I'm not!" She looks offended at the notion. "It just looks silly before the mask is painted." 
He chances a look at himself, and she's not wrong. There's some glue-water dripping down his chin, he has a makeshift cotton-ball-and-medical-tape eyepatch, and there's a full colour Garfield comic across his forehead. "I can't believe I agreed to this." 
"You'll do great." 
He resists the urge to shake his head as Taako puts another strip of paper on his face. Moving too much is what got him stuck with Garfield. "I haven't been on a stage since I was thirteen. I'm a backstage kind of guy."
"Who can sing like a leading man." 
His face flushes, and even with his half vision he can see Taako roll his eyes. "I'm just glad Greg's finally fucked off," he says. "That guy was getting way too into it." 
Barry frowns. "Really? How?" 
Taako snorts. "You know that guy who played the joker who left, like, gross shit on people's doorsteps?" 
"Nnnnno? I'm not really a celebrities kinda guy." 
Taako covers up the Garfield strip with the last of the newspaper (probably because he knows Lucretia would throw a paintbrush at him if she had to cover a full colour comic with the theatre's mediocre paint) and starts washing his hands. "Well some dude was being a freak about playing the joker cause he's "method" and Greg was also being a freak." 
"It was like he was trying to be the phantom of this theatre," Lup says, "but he didn't seem to realise it doesn't work when we all know he's doing it." 
"Well, I, uh," Barry clears his throat, "I promise I won't be a freak? But, you know, who's gonna do lights now? I mean I-" 
"Magnus," Taako says, flicking the water off his hands. 
"He couldn't take over the phantom?" 
Taako barks a laugh. "Trust me, you do not want to hear Maggie sing." 
"He's not that bad," Lup defends.
"He's not that good either. He's better off sticking to Shakespeare and woodworking." 
Barry's eyebrows raise. "Shakespeare?" 
"Face," Taako scolds. Barry drops his surprise back to neutral. "But yeah, the guy can't sing for shit, and he won't be acting in any blockbusters any time soon, but jeezums can he recite a soliloquy." 
"I can actually understand ol' Willy Shakes when Magnus does it," Lup says. "He was Macbeth last year." 
"Oh, I remember that!" Barry says, "my mom and I came, and afterwards she kept saying how-" 
He's cut off by loud, thundering steps out in the hallway. Somewhere outside the door a booming voice shouts, "TO BE, OR NOT TO BE," the door's thrown open and reveals Magnus, "THAT is the question." 
The three of them stare at him, bewildered. He smiles, "I heard someone say Shakespeare?"
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yeetus-feetus · 6 months
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I made this for @strange-birb for their Batkid Secret Band AU, it is their artwork in the background too. Please go and check out their art it's awesome!
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About the stuffs:
I decided to call them DeathwalkerS because they've all died at some point and they're still walking around. Plus I think it sounds edgy, which I think these guys would definitely go for. They also have a wide range of alternative music genres because all of them have different tastes but they're still very alternative.
The bands colour scheme is purple and green because I thinks it's a funny bit of irony. We're stealing the Joker colours the same way Jason stole the Red Hood look.
Gotham by Gaslight is the name of the album whish is why the font is larger than all the other songs, and why it's the first song on CD. Pretty sure the song is pretty self explanatory, but it's about being gaslit by adults they thought they could trust. With fun little metaphors that use examples of /actual/ gas attacks that have happened in Gotham as a comparison to what it feels like to be gaslighted constantly by someone you love.
The capital letters in the song named 'DaRCy' stand for 'Dead Robins Club'. In this song they sing about all the things they hate about Bruce under the guise of singing about a crazy woman named Darcy. It's a perfect way for them to get out their frustrations and feelings of betrayal at Bruce's actions, and it can be disguised as a break-up song or a song about a really unhealthy friendship.
'Fear in The Well' has the same vibe and sound as 'Fear of The Dark' by Iron Maiden. It's also a funny reference to how Bruce became Batman in the first place, by falling down that Well surrounded by his greatest phobia: bats. Just thought it'd be fun for them to sing this as a jab at their old man, even though he is currently unaware of their band.
'Skin Tight' is a reference to their vigilante suits, but it's actually a sex song. Because every band needs at least one really sexy sex song in their debut album. Like I'm thinking of one those heavy rock songs where the lead singer is doing more moaning than singing and the lyrics are literally about kink culture. (Welcome To The Jungle is the first thing that came to mind, but then I started thinking about Gerard Way moaning. Though I think the sound of the song would be more like what Judas Priest has going on.)
'San Fransisco Party Memories' is supposed to be super nostalgic. It's about the time they spent at Titans tower; the friends they made, the friends they'll always remember. The fun they had and the challenges they faced. It's about underage drinking and dancing on the beach. It's about helping each other with their soul deep pain, and probably not the in the healthiest ways but definitely the most fun kind of ways. It's about longing for those days in the warm sun and cool salty water. It's one of the songs that are super fun to dance to, but when ur said the lyrics really hit.
'Dead Bird Walking' is a Heathers reference to the song 'Dead Girl Walking', but with a much heavier and alternative sound. Could also technically be referred to as a sex song, like it's not as explicit as 'Skin Tight', but it is pretty suggestive. It basically just has that "I might die tomorrow so let's make the most of right now" vibes. (Pushing my theatre nerd Jason agenda here, can you tell?)
'Bats out of Hell' is a reference to Meat Loaf's song 'Bat out of Hell". DeathwalkerS' song has a similar sort of vibe, and it's basically about them all dying and coming back to life and doing crazy cool shit.
'Drywall' is the only unserious song in this album, it's one of those silly ones that doesn't really make sense but the sound is awesome and you just need to dance and headbang to it. Like it makes you need to move around. Same sorta vibe as 'Chic N Stu' by System Of A Down I guess?
'Wake The Dead' is probably the heaviest song on this album. It's about grieving and the pain that comes with that. It's about wanting to wake up all their dead friends and realising that can't always happen, not everyone comes back. They have to at some point accept that they can't bring back the people they've lost. There's also a really really awesome guitar solo in this one.
'Angels of Death' is a song about the the spirits of the watching over the innocent people of Gotham. The song is a story about these guardian angels; these Cryptid-like creatures that watch over Gotham City, making sacrifices to her and protecting her people. It has a really eerie, creepy vibes, like some old legend or Folklore about mystical creatures living in the shadows.
'All We Are (Street Rats)' has those indie rock sorta vibes. Did I get that right? Or is it alt rock? Like the Front Bottoms and McCafferty. 'Twin Size Mattress' and 'Trees' are the songs I'm thinking of right now. (It's those queer undertones they both have that I'm trying to encapsulate here). Some Radiohead vibes here too honestly.
I wish you guys could craw inside my head hear the music I'm imagining right now. I've got serious brain worms right now and I NEED to share them!
Also this is the band's banner for battle of the bands ↓ I made two versions lol (the stars were Steph's idea!)
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Again, please please please go check out @strange-birb I love all their art so much! And they're the reason I came up with all these ideas.
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ocprompts · 10 months
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UHHHH HI. EXPLOSION EMOJI. love your blog btw :3 found it via sneep snorping through a follower of one of my sideblogs's tumblr (b!david is very cool)
SO BASICALLY i have these four little guys who are in a BAND together !! their names are BENNETT, PIPER, NATHOS, AND ASH !! i plan to make a videogame about them and one of my closest friends helped design two of them (more like redesign really, i made the four guys before i decided on them being in a band together and so their designs were all over the place and so i made their designs more coordinated with eachother, and my friend redesigned piper and ash with me mentioning the basic things i had in mind) (i also very slightly changed the redesigns (as in i literally just made ash's eyes purple to match with xer jacket color and some other tiny things HGJFIKM))
gonna just copy and paste their artfight bios here, wouldve done the links but you need an account to actually view the links HGANKFJN
Name: Bennett Hubbard Nickname/s: Benny Boy (jokingly) Age: 21 Birthday: November 3rd Species: Human Height: 6'2 Gender: Male Pronouns: he/him Sexuality: No one knows Relationship status: Single Occupation: Bassist for the band The Drawing Board, burger flipper on the side Personality: A bit blunt, but means well. Will stand up for what is right. Likes: Music, his friends, sweet and spicy food (not at the same time), bugs Dislikes: Ignorant people, pickles (will only eat them when he absolutely has to)
Name: Piper Cline Nickname/s: N/A Age: 21 Birthday: May 24th Species: Human Height: 5'5 Gender: Female Pronouns: she/her Sexuality: Pansexual Relationship status: Single Occupation: Keyboardist for the band The Drawing Board, repairwoman on the side Personality: A bit shy at first, but once she knows you well enough, she'll trust you with her life! She's a bit of a nerd. Likes: Music, her friends, science Dislikes: Pretty much anything wet and squishy. Sensory issues </3
Name: Nathos McBride Nickname/s: Nate, Natorade Age: 21 Birthday: July 14th Species: Human Height: 6'4 Gender: Male (transmasc) Pronouns: he/it Sexuality: Pansexual Relationship status: Single Occupation: Drummer for the band The Drawing Board, side job TBD Personality: Super sweet! He's calm and collected, and ready to take on anything, as long as it isn't too caught off guard by anything that comes across. Likes: Music, its friends, stuffed animals Dislikes: Rude and arrogant people
Name: Ash Lopez Nickname/s: N/A Age: 21 Birthday: February 16th Species: Human Height: 6'4 Gender: Non-binary Pronouns: xe/xem Sexuality: Greysexual Relationship status: Single Occupation: Guitarist for the band The Drawing Board, side job TBD Personality: Literally the silliest guy ever. Chronic practical joker. Likes: Music, xer friends, bright colors Dislikes: Being taken advantage of
i also put the 4 of them into separate rps !! the one bennett is in is the only one thats started. also that where i got the nickname benny boy from (but the things that happen in their respective rps arent considered canon, more like an au, also that would be wayyy too much trauma to stuff into them when im already gonna give them trauma in the videogame story itself HGAKFJNDCJKM)
ANYWAY !! here they are, bennett piper nathos and ash respectively :] formatting is bad so have One Giant Ash
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and heres piper and ash, drawn by @pastel-bleu-art !!!
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a bit hard to tell from the pics (ILL MAKE A BETTER REF SOMEDAY ...) but piper is a bit chubby :] ANYWAY thats about all i have to say about em because i dont wanna say too much because of GAME SPOILERS ... but just. quick synopsis: they are chosen by the great goddess oda to save the universe by defeating the cacophonous six !! but shit goes down. oh and btw i feel that it's important to mention that they are essentially weezer but gay /silly
i LOVE gay and silly people <2
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da-proti-toku-grem · 6 months
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1, 17, 13, 15!
Sorry this took so long but here:
1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
Umm this one's interesting, let's see... (in no particular order) sorry, this one ended up being long af but i'm not deleting it lol
- I'm going to start with the fact that I spent almost my entire childhood having no friends (except for my lifelong best friend, but we live in different cities and before we had phones we only saw each other about 3 or 4 times a year), because I already talked a little about it in the post I made a while ago. As I said, honestly, the fact that they ignored me or picked on me didn't affect me directly, but it's true that it has made it very difficult for me to trust people, besides the fact that I "hide" many things about myself (eg. my tastes, my opinions on certain topics or my problems) because of the fact that I've never had anyone I could tell it to, so it has become a bad habit I guess
- Discovering tumblr and meeting people through here. It's a little connected to what I just said, because I've always thought that no one was interested in the same things as me, that I was "weird" because I liked things that maybe people didn't even know about. But when I discovered tumblr and started to see that there are actually a lot more people and that I'm really not the only one, it made me realize that it's not "weird" that, to give the example of Joker Out, it makes me happy to see videos/photos of a group of five guys who live in a country I don't know, who speak a language I don't know and who don't even know I exist. They just make me happy and that's it, if it bothers someone they can just look away, you don't have to comment on everyone's lifes :/
- Oh man, idk what else to say... Well, let's say that being an older sister (and the only girl between all my cousins, at least until my little cousin was born) has really shaped me. You know, the fact that I'm always the first one to do stuff (starting high school, going to uni, turning 18 and all that stuff) always makes me kinda anxious because I don't know what to expect. In my brother's case, he can always ask me how I did it, or how it went when I did something like "how was your first day of high school" or "you had this teacher one year, how are they like?" and things like that. Maybe it seems stupid, but when you don't have all those simple little things that he knows/can ask me anytime, you never know what to expect and that makes me so anxious (to the point that I cry even, and I don't cry easily so...)
13. what are you doing right now?
Crying because I suddenly remembered a song that I loved a few years ago called Even Angels by Carlos Marco & Blas Cantó and the lyrics are just so 🤧😭 like:
"When you sky comes falling down and the silence steals the sound, don't be afraid, know it's okay to be fragile, even angels hit the ground before they fly"
The lyrics + their voices give me goosebumps every time
I discovered it at the perfect moment and I remember crying every time I heard it and... yeah
15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?
The first thing that came to my mind was: anywhere I am with my family, with my middle brother's random jokes and my little brother's warm hugs OR being alone in my room, petting my dog and ​​doing absolutely nothing (for once)
17. name 3 things that make you happy
- My dog 🥰 (she deserves her own place in the list)
- Listening to music all day and movie nights with my family
- Joker Out/Jere/all my mutuals (and non-mutuals that I interact with). I won't expand too much because I already said A LOT in the first one, but just seeing their content and listening to their music makes me so happy. And also my mutuals because I love interacting with y'all and going crazy about these silly bois together every day <3
+ Bonus because it also deserves it's own place in the list:
- Jure's smile. He literally lights up the whole world when he smiles, I love my sunshine boy so much 🥹
I know I technically said more than 3 but I categorized them lmao
questions I think would be fun to be asked
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hysteriium · 3 years
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𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑩𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑩𝒍𝒖𝒆;
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(𝐆𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞)
(𝐀/𝐧 ): This is the first I’ve posted in ages!!! I can’t recall how long it’s been, life has truly been hectic but I’m getting back on the saddle!!! We’re starting with my boi! I hope you enjoy it as much as I had fun writing this! I’ve been experimenting with the way he talks so it’s not as overt as I’ve previously written! I feel like the intonations may break the flow a bit so I’ve tried to make it more cohesive! Lmk what you guys think! Also shout out to my amazing partner @lilliryth​ they’re the light of my life and helped me edit this!! They’re such an amazing person and I would not be where I am today without them. 
( 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ): Wedding. That is all. It’s not what you think. 
( 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ): DK! Joker x Reader. 
( 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ): 7,600+ k words!
( 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ): Angst (very little), swearing, violence. 
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The first time you’d asked, he simply stared in disbelief. 
“Come again?” The bright red hues of confusion painted his husky voice. 
The question had been wreaking havoc in your thoughts for the past month, unsure of how to slip out from ambiguity onto the sureness of the tongue. Such a bold yet silly little request was sure to be large and repugnant to the man hovering above you. While the darkness of his eyes was accentuated by his stygian greasepaint, hints of cocoa peeked through, prompting shy flutters of anxiety in your abdomen.  
You can do this.
Your tongue slid across the arid cracks of your lips, wetting them. You cleared your throat, “I need a date to a wed–” 
That was all you could get out before he blinked a few times and strode off.
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The second time, albeit similar in difficulty, thankfully didn’t result in him running. 
You tiptoed into his makeshift office with an air of mischief, his room sombre except for the lamp that spotlighted his desk. Hunched over blueprints which you suspected were his next big scheme, his eyes never drifted from the intricacies on the paper. 
“Boo!” You shouted, catching his hips with an unbreakable hold when you closed the distance. While his body tensed, he couldn’t control the breath of amusement that left his nose.
“I can see you really tried there.” 
You knew he followed your stare when his long fingers worked to roll the sheet. They were fast – so fast the pinched ends stuck out in layered rings that almost resembled winding mountainous trails. He couldn’t have curious eyes ogling his extra top secret will-have-to-kill-you-if-you-found-out criminal plans, now could he? 
“What?” you started, while your hands fell and your footsteps whispered away from him. You felt the creases of your mouth wobble, ready to smile at any moment, and so you bit the inside of your tongue. “Don’t you trust me?” 
“No,” he smirked, petting your head. 
Curse his height. 
“Now, uh, what is it, doll?” 
You let your smile leap free, “I need to ask a super dooper big fav–”
“I’m not going.” 
“But whyyyyyy? My parents are harassing me! They think their daughter’s going to grow old and grey and be alone forever.”
“Gee, I can’t imagine why.” 
You shot him a look, one that only fuelled his amusement.
“J, I can’t just not show up.” 
You watched his figure rise slightly as he drew and released a breath. 
“I don’t like wed–” his tongue stuck out like he’d tasted something bad before he cleared his throat “–dings, they’re full of false hope, drunks and...” he shuddered, “romance. You see, they’ll end up killing each other in a few years. I can picture it now: dearly beloved wife kills cheating husband. Oh how could this have ever happened?” 
He scoffed.
“You’re so dramatic. I promise it would only be for a few hours.”
“And pumpkin, how exactly are you gonna sneak me into a… place like that when I look like this,” he said, hands motioning to his face – mostly his scars. 
It broke your heart. You could've sworn you heard it splinter, the downturn of your brows impossible to hold back. If only words were enough to convey complex feelings, to convey the pile of bricks nestled in your chest, to convey the desperate crave to comfort and rebut, the need to protect – even from himself. You had yet to find a way, and so you were stuck behind the thick lock and chain of language with no key in sight; restricted and bound to tools you never thought were enough, but could only hope were enough.   
“Hey,” you whispered, reaching up to cup his face. In his eyes you saw the emotions flicker, almost as tangible as they were transparent – anger, fear, shock. Stood still and stiff, you nodded softly, giving him a smile of equal warmth. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”  
He squinted before hesitantly giving in, shifting so his cheek rested against your palm. He had to lower himself a little more to do so. 
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how you look. They’re beautiful, and I’ll keep saying so until there’s no breath left in my lungs.”
You held him ever so gently while he flitted his eyes shut. Your heart galloped then, its swell too big for your body and for a moment, brief as the breeze, the chaos he prided himself in was absent; for a moment there was peace.
“If you weren’t The Joker, I’d say go as is. Though, I have a plan!” 
“Oh, do you now?” He said, shaking his head and returning to work. It was clear he was rapidly reaching his patience threshold.
Damn it.
“They have food!” You trailed off unsurely, as if it was a question – pinning your last hope on appealing to his raccoon inclinations.
It didn’t work.
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The third, well… 
You had just about given up and accepted the fact that it wasn’t his scene, that him meeting your parents would never be an option – a reality you had started to think of as a good thing the more you thought about it. 
And so, the third day had been your acceptance. Self-care. Instead of chasing after an ideal, your hands were clutching a book, almost too hard, as the part you had been anticipating since very early had reached its finale. With your legs curled underneath you and practically asleep, your eyes flicked furiously from word to word– 
That is until a looming figure shadowed the page completely, concealing all light from the lamp next to you. 
Annoyance creased your features as you looked up at the clownish culprit. Your eyes met and a staring contest ensued, the intensity of his eyes beckoning a response until he, uncharacteristically, broke first. 
“Will this make you, uh, happy?” 
All traces of irritation were washed away by bewilderment, “sorry?” 
“My being with you.” 
“You mean to the wedding?” You asked, wide-eyed. If you hadn’t been as shocked as you were, you would have snorted at his continuous inability to say the word ‘wedding’. 
He shifted on his feet, eyes darting away for a second before he licked his lips. “Yeah.” 
“Is this a joke?”
“I’m not that cruel.”
You paused to hum obnoxiously, your finger tapping your chin to challenge the notion.
“Never mind,” he waved his hand in the air and was about to walk off before you grabbed his hand and sprung off your seat. You felt him try to wiggle out of your grasp with a grunt, but it was too late. “Thank you!” You shouted. 
You missed the way his surprise melted into a genuine curl of his lips, twitching; the muscles unused. Instead, you were too busy stuffed in his vest, with your arms swathed around him. You both stayed there for a while basking in the warmth of each other, as his hands, which you guessed were hanging awkwardly in the air and unsure of what to do, encircled your waist.
Third time’s the charm. 
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Shaking fingers twirled sapphire silk, gliding over your cinched waist before finally moving up to the delicate exposed flesh of your neck. You glanced over the spaghetti straps that curved comfortably over your shoulder, and the simple silver circle necklace that laid between them, its chilled presence clashing with the heat of your skin.  
Knock knock knock!
“Just a minute!” You said, jumping at the sudden rude intrusion. 
“Not even funeral parlors take this long,” you heard J say from the other side, the distinctive departure of footsteps following promptly. They seemed faster than usual.
You puffed air at his complaint after calming your racing heart. Then you scrambled to finish up the final touches of makeup, at last winding the nude colored ribbons of your heels around your calves. Your head felt light, and your shoes only worsened the sudden gelatinous state your legs took on. Never before had you dressed up in such a way, not for years and much less in front of someone you dearly cherished. The line between fashionable and laughable was blurred and never truly had been exercised. Waving away the fuel your anxious thoughts provided, you decided to try and move. Your heels wobbled trying to avoid the flowing material pooled by your ankles, and you’d just managed to slip one foot out through the thigh-high slit. No matter how much you sighed, the pressure remained, weighing like an anvil. And so, with nothing much to lose, you made your way to the door; the dampness of your fingers leaving its foggy signature upon the knob.
This was it.
You breathed in one last time before opening the door.
“Okay, I’m re–” 
You exhaled sharply, feeling the earlier intake of air leave you – taking with it the remaining wind in your lungs. You couldn’t control the twinkle of your eyes, nor the flip of your stomach as you gazed upon him.
His form was angled against the wall and his arms were crossed – that was, until he dragged his eyes over to you. His limbs then dropped to their sides and he quickly, almost stumbling over his shoes, righted his position. The bob of his Adam's apple was clear while both of you stood meters from each other with widened eyes. You knew he had the ability to pull off a suit, but the royal blue he donned was stunning. The stark colour complemented his blond locks, while his foulard tie with its blends of pinks, purples, and its navy base matched his socks. 
It seemed you were both in the same boat, consumed by swells of giddiness and the need to fidget. The fingers that were dressed in dark brown leather gloves drummed against his thigh, while one of his cedar suede shoes tapped furiously against the floor.
“What.” He finally stated, rather than questioning. 
You dropped the necklace your fingers had started circling. 
“Nothing! You just look… really nice,” you uttered earnestly, unable to contain the sweet smile that broke through awe. 
“Yeah, yeah. Uh… you too,” he said, the last part coming out less steady. 
He avoided eye contact when you trotted over to him, fiddling with his cufflinks, though his tending to them immediately vanished when you began to accentuate the swish of your hips. 
All fidgeting stopped.
You were sure he was expecting something else, rather than the delicate cupping of his cheek once you reached him, soft lips meeting with roughened skin as you kissed his scars. You took your time with each one, whispering affection, before claiming his mouth. He growled against you, and you could feel him tighten his hold. 
The tip of his tongue traced the stain of lipstick, a wordless demand for entry which left you weak. Almost parting your lips to allow the gentle slide of his tongue, he suddenly reared back with a smirk. 
“Peach,” he cooed. 
You were going to have to reapply later. 
With a small smile you extended your arm to the couch, and knowing time was beginning to pass, he complied. As he advanced, you peeked at the orange lining in his blazer. The hue was similar to his purple coat, though slightly lighter. You smiled to yourself, the small detail so characteristically him. 
“Alright. Let’s get this over with,” he sighed, bracing himself. 
Already a step ahead, you had brought out the makeup needed just prior to getting dressed. Sitting on one of the nearby surfaces, you picked up a small translucent bag with little red hearts on it – a fact he’d snickered to himself at when he first saw it – and walked over to him. 
“As you wish, grumpy,” you simpered, “now hold still!” 
True to his new title, you heard him mutter something unintelligible under his breath. The tap-tap-tap of his foot against the floor was most of the noise for a good while, and although distracting, the fidgeting of his hands was less noisy. You knew more than anyone he needed to squirm around, some movement at the very least, and so you endured. You deduced that he’d not been this close to someone in so very long, let alone allow them to do his makeup. That task, intimate and personal within itself, was not something others could be trusted with. 
“Time to hide these little guys,” you murmured, focused as the beauty blender sat between your fingers and dabbed on concealer. “Not that they need hiding. I’ll miss them.”
“Really?” He chimed in, eyes shut while you did your work. 
“Yeah, they’re a part of you and I’d never want you to hide or be ashamed of who you are.” 
“Hmm,” he trailed off. 
Occasionally his mouth quirked, his tongue darting out to lick his scars; an involuntary movement. You were patient, and even if he wasn’t overt about his guilt of messing up your progress, you reassured him lightly with a kiss on the head, sometimes playing with the dirty blond waves that lacked any sign of green. 
The day before he’d washed out the colour in preparation for the big day, groaning until he caught sight of himself in the mirror; contemplative. Ethereal and almost delicate he seemed. How precious it was to witness such cracks in the fortress, where the basking rays of sun illuminated what once was – and still is, only shrouded by shrubbery and thorns, so overgrown and disordered that they had forgotten to take care of even themselves. Forgotten how.  
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he groaned as you finished blending the concealer on both cheeks. Grabbing the foundation you had colour matched, you dabbed a bit on your hand before applying that too.
“Honestly, me neither,” you replied, feeling no need to sugarcoat the shock from your tone. You knew he appreciated the truth. “But I’m glad you are! You’re doing so well!” 
He squirmed a little at the compliment but settled seconds later. Soon after finishing the blending, you reared back and observed your labour. Although it wasn’t perfect, and if you looked hard enough you could still see the intricate crevices in his skin, it passed. 
“All done!” 
As soon as you spoke, J pushed off his palms. He was halfway off the chair when you stopped him.
“Wait! I have to walk you through something.” 
At this, his eyebrows quirked up. You knew you had his attention. 
“Conditions!” You announced.
“Ah. Now there are conditions.” 
“Yes! I don’t want you to throw a tantrum and blow up the whole reception.” 
“My my, aren’t you a little fire stopper.” 
“Promise me.”
He flicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. With one hand on his chest and the other raised just next to his head, he bowed a little. “I swear.”
You wrinkled your nose, “I swear there will be no funny business, and I’ll be on my best behaviour – oh and no crossing your toes either!”
“You know me so well,” he sighed, admitting defeat, “Fine. I swear there’ll be no funny business and I’ll be on…” he cleared his throat and brought a closed fist to his mouth, “my best behaviour.” Then he shone his impishly wide grin, one that only intensified the pit of doubt in your stomach. 
It would have to do, though.  
“Okay,” you whispered. 
He stood up now, towering over you. 
“Okay,” he mimicked, dropping his hands at the base of your hips. 
The last few days had been full of surprises, his agreement to attend trumping all. However, his overt display of affection was a close second. Never before had he been so forthcoming and so comfortable with physical contact. 
As his hands laid there, unmoving and making their home in your curves, you inched closer to him; a specific craving only his warmth could ease. Though, those very same hands around you tightened when you tried to step forward, holding you in place. Curiously, you looked up at him, brows furrowed. 
“What are you–” 
It seemed he couldn’t help himself. The evil laughter he’d been trying to restrain bubbled from his throat and bounced off the walls. The eagerness to ask what he was doing quickly died – hard – when you could no longer feel the ground beneath your feet. It instead morphed into protests and occasional bouts of laughter as your arms dangled along his back, your pelvis against his shoulder. One gloved hand rested crudely just below the curve of your ass, occasionally squeezing your upper thigh and holding you in place, while his other arm hung unobstructed. 
“We–” he clicked his tongue, “–wouldn’t want to be late now, would we?” He finished, purring. 
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The location was a couple hours outside of Gotham on the coastline in an area you’d practically never heard of. If it wasn’t for J’s gift for navigation, and his frustration when you kept leading him down wrong turns, you would have been hours late instead of just missing the ceremony. The last straw had been assuring him the early exit was your turn off despite his gut instinct, despite the countless times he asked ‘are you sure?’ and despite his sneaking glances – something he stopped doing when he almost crashed into the car next to you, too focused on craning his neck. All of this combined had resulted in the brutal demise of your map reading days. 
Stopping where he could after taking the wrong exit he held out a gloved hand, a wordless demand for the navigator. Before long, you were back on the freeway, thankfully heading the right way. The directory rested in his lap as he balanced the seemingly breezy tasks of reading and driving. 
Clearly safety was his middle name.
Once the two of you arrived at the venue, the first thing you both noticed was the heat. Warm and uncomfortable, the seabreeze made this bearable. The next notable feature was the rambunctious clamour of the crowd; music, laughter and shouting. 
After worming your way out of the van, comically wedged between two much smaller cars, you headed towards the reception, stopping short from the asphalt-sand border. J stared at it as if it had foiled his genius villainous plots, as if it was the cause of all his misfortunes, as if it was responsible for the brutal murder of his first pet. Then, he made a face – a mixture between a scowl and disgust. 
He sniffed, “it smells like...” he paused to grimace, “high society.” 
The ghastly look was then directed ahead to each moving – breathing – organism he could see. There was no doubt in your mind the crowd had already made it on his hit list.
“For once I miss the stink of Gotham.” 
“Well at least it’s at the beach!” You exclaimed, not recalling the last time you’d been. Trying to think that far back made your brain hurt, the tingle of overworked cogs and Brain Fog a lethal combination that coerced your forfeit in seconds. At the very least you were happy to be making new memories, hopefully some you’d be able to remember in the future; memories you prayed were not, later too, guarded by the merciless Brain Fog and his ravenous desire to generate headaches.  
“I hate the beach,” J delivered flatly, hatred distilled rolling off his person in waves.  
“Oh, you hate everything!” You pouted, brushing off his pessimism. 
“It’s hard not to.” 
“Well…” You stopped to think, wracking your brain to prove him wrong, “what about me?”
That had to get him. 
“You especially,” he grinned, eyes twinkling with a mischief that spoke nothing other than ‘you walked right into that one, sweetheart.’ 
You were unable to help the sigh that sailed past your hued lips, “well, come on sunshine. You can’t stare daggers at them all day.”
“I can try,” he spat sourly. 
You rolled your eyes and dragged him along but immediately dropped the act when you quickly realised it hauled unwanted eyes, like metal to magnets. Yet, J followed even though you were certain he saw the cursed asphalt-sand barrier as the very gates of hell themselves. In fact, he seemed a little bit too eager to start his anathematised exploration of the 9 circles as when you looked back, expecting to see his long limbs hanging in defeated protest, you were met with, well, nothing.
One moment he was there, the next he was gone seemingly stalking off into the unknown, hiding among the sea of people. It wasn’t like he was easy to lose either, his height and his aura of absolute discomfort is what set him apart from the rest. He protruded like a broken bone – so why couldn’t you find him?
“Damn it, J!” You harshly whispered to yourself, unknowingly stamping your foot until the insidious specks of sand tumbled their way into your shoe, under your feet and between your toes. Easily conquering your layer of protection, their coarse presence made you want to grind your teeth. 
Maybe this was a mistake.
Before you could go off and search for the lost irritating puppy, you heard shouts. At first they seemed like ordinary yells, distinctive deviations from the crowd which happened to catch your attention at the right moment. Though, the more time passed and you wandered around like a newborn giraffe looking for its mother, you realised this was not the case. Most telling was the way those vague cries morphed into the familiar syllables of your name. And then finally in view, the supposed sweet comfort of childhood embodied neared; their worn features staring into your own, different from all those years ago. 
You fought the urge to run. 
“Hey honey!” Your dad beamed.
Two pairs of smothering arms made their way toward you, enveloping. With your fingers clutching separate materials, each as scratchy and glacial as each other, your head started to spin and you felt yourself holding your breath. 
“Hey mum, hey dad, it’s nice to see you two again,” you said, feeling the slow ache from clenching your jaw starting to set in. You quickly swapped this expression for a small smile when they released you.
“How’ve you been?” Your dad inquired, the shimmer in his eyes a sight you couldn’t help but double take at. You noticed there was no glass in his hand. 
“Don’t bombard her dear,” your mum rolled her eyes, “where’s this date you were telling me about?” 
She lingered on the word with an emotion you couldn’t quite discern while her adjudicating eyes swept over your outfit. Her eyebrows then lifted, scrunching her nose with it. “Not bad.”
Her scanning forced you to shrink into yourself, the automatic motion of your palms relentless in their pursuit of wrinkles, a fact you did not pick up on until your mother cleared her throat at your unprompted staring contest.  
“My question dear, it’s rude to ignore your mother,” her thin brows creased and the folds just above them rested along her forehead in a similar fashion.  
You scrambled for an acceptable answer, the question just as ambiguous to yourself.
“He’s… um… getting us drinks! I was actually just about to go check up on–” 
“Well if a man can’t even fetch you a drink he’s hardly useful,” she scoffed, turning to her husband to whisper, “can’t imagine what this prince charming looks like.” 
Anger, lava-like and boiling, rose up in your throat. The pressure seemed unbearable as you tried to keep your mouth closed – tried not to defend the one you loved with your entire being. How dare she judge someone she had yet to even meet? She had yet to see the beauty that radiated in and out. 
It had only been minutes and you’d already been zapped of your energy for the day.
“I think I should go check on him now.” “Yes, of course. Come back to me when you have something to show,” your mother smiled. You watched her lips stretch, her wine lipstick as pigmented as the red coating your vision. 
Her hand clutched the necklace around her chest. Her fingers traced the glistening diamond which hung overtly, screaming it’s pricelessness to all passersby as she went to go have another sip of her champagne. At the corner of your eye you noticed movement, a pair of worn hands clutching suit pants. Hard. You turned automatically and when you met his eyes your dad shot you a strained smile. It almost looked like an apology. 
Your stomach turned. 
You tried your best to conceal the stomping as you promptly departed, promising yourself to at least wait until you were out of their view and blending in with the crowd. Once you merged with the patches, you quickly discovered that navigating your way out of it was going to be just as hard as trying to find J. Left and right amalgamated, looking the same no matter how many times you tried to compare differences and so did everyone’s outfits. You could have sworn you’d seen the same red dress three times, though you also could have sworn you went all different directions to the last; the truth was you were no more knowing than a sailor stranded at sea lacking a compass, the same indistinguishable shapelessness stretching out for miles and miles with no end in sight.  
Then, a miracle – a clearing of people which shrieked hope and a long portable table with flowing white lace harbouring all kinds of food. Amongst the good news, a blotch of royal blue caught your eye and a flash of blond. Focusing your view on the table and its few inhabitants, one of which was the blue wearing stranger, you quickly realised your missing date was fixed and firm in place at the snack area. No sooner than this revelation processed you dashed over, the anger returning once the relief had run its fleeting course. As you stormed your way over to him he failed to look up, too preoccupied with the food he was collecting. Lacking in subtlety, you grabbed his arm. 
“Jesus there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!”
J, who had been waiting to stuff his face with what you identified as another cupcake, mouth ringed with strawberry frosting, crumbs and sprinkles, dropped it in surprise and turned to you with widened eyes. They shrunk as soon as they showed an inkling of surprise and instead shifted to speckled guilt. 
“Cupcake,” he managed to mumble with a full mouth.
Your fiery frustration was immediately put out by how cute he was, and you felt a surge of guilt yourself. It wasn’t fair to be taking out your personal frustrations on him. 
After closing your eyes and taking a breath, you reset. 
“They think I’m lying about you.”
He swallowed.
“You wanna leave? I, uh, know I want to,” he said much louder than the whisper you wish he’d used.
Such a comment warranted an elbow jab into his waist as you smiled ear to ear and sickly sweet at the passing guest who had clearly heard J. The middle aged woman with short brunette hair, white pom-pom earrings and beady eyes shot you two a blazing look before rutting her nose into the air. The reek of pretension wafted off her. Now you could see what J was saying earlier. 
Pee-yew. 
Everyone here sucked. 
“I’m gonna kill her later,” he murmured, squinting after her. 
“J, you promised to be good!”
Even if she was a grandiloquent old bitch who deserved it.
His ominous response was to pour himself some punch, the clown-in-disguise bringing the plastic up to his lips. As the cup masked most of his face, the only thing visible was his deadly gaze which bounced from congregation to congregation.
“How much longer.” Again, it wasn’t phrased as a question, more a statement. 
“The bride and groom haven’t even danced yet.” 
He scrunched his nose, though dropped the subject. At least verbally.
“You’re so crabby. You do know that you’re drawing even more attention to yourself this way?” 
“Hmmph.”
It was silent for a few minutes before, without warning, he grabbed your hand. The hesitant and jagged strokes of his thumb followed and even though they belonged to a novice, the delicacy was still there.
The message was clear: 
I’m new to this. 
Your lips upturned, the gentle quirk hidden by transient hair flowing along the salty breeze. His touch was warm and paradoxically amiable; his presence a shelter cutting the chilly current that had picked up around noon. Stained lips, of which you had forgotten about until the sticky residue imprinted boldly on his glove, aimed to ease his buzzing mind. Expecting a grumble for the lipstick mark, what you got in return was the soft gaze of dark brown eyes – a sign of taming raging waters. He didn’t seem to mind, in fact the window into his soul for once could be identified as just that – a window; crystal, without the dirtied stains of camouflage and trepidation. 
Something had changed. 
Before you could get another word in, it was announced the bride and groom were going to have their first dance. The crowd gathered around the newly wedded couple as the music suddenly switched. The speakers were loud as they played a waltz, the couple’s limbs intertwined and swaying to its dramatic pace. They twirled and swayed with the grace of swans tiptoeing and beguiling the creeping ocean on the golden sands. Even though you knew virtually nothing about them, and were convinced that in fact this whole invite was your mother’s scheme to pry, the sight was a beautiful one to behold. The epitome of love – reciprocal trust and utter surrender; it had you wondering where you’d gone wrong previously, and if such a thing was as formulaic as it seemed to be, or if they were freefalling into the abyss as much as everyone else was; blindfolded, but nonetheless with each other. Welded in each other’s hearts.
How long had you projected your yearning at the couple and vicariously lived through their magical moment? You couldn’t say, though it was only the sudden grip on your shoulder that had managed to break your fixed admiration. It was firm, but nowhere near the realm of rough, and it even contained a fraction of gentleness, an action that wordlessly said ‘are you okay?’
At the sudden presence, you looked over your shoulder to find J, his guarded eyes holding a knowledge which only deepened the crawling feeling of embarrassment. Blood rushed to your cheeks. As you rounded your gaze back to the couple, you quickly saw the crowd was beginning to join them, all dancing at their own pace as the music continued its intimate lull. J’s hand slid down your arm while you watched and returned to hold your hand. Content and about to lean into him, your sudden love struck daze pounced away when he started to walk, dragging you along with him. 
“Hey– what are you doing?”
No response. 
“Let me go!” You said, your tone coming out a lot angrier than you’d expected. You guessed this alerted him because even though you were mere meters away from the rest of the crowd he stopped to explain. 
“I saw the way you were looking at them. You know, cupcake, you’re not hard to read,” he drawled.
You pursed your lips, looking away for a moment. 
“So what? What are you doing?” 
“What does it – ah – look like?” 
He’d seemingly taken your lack of response as a positive and continued forward. He grinned once he had you in position and placed his palm on the small of your back, his thumb rubbing gentle circles. He then maneuvered his other hand to grab yours and stretched it forward. From his first few steps you knew immediately it was the Viennese Waltz. The fast tempoed dance was one you weren't all too familiar with, but you’d learned its slower English counterpart.
“I didn’t know you could dance,” you gasped, trying your best to conceal your astonishment. You didn’t want to seem rude, though he just didn’t seem like the person interested in such a thing. Nor have the time. You were certainly finding yourself more curious about the origin of such a talent, and all the other potential abilities that were sneakily tucked away. 
“Well aren’t I just full of surprises.”
He dipped you slightly in time with the halt of the orchestra. He held you there for a moment before the tune resumed its boisterous charm, climbing steadily to its crescendo. 
“Here’s to another,” he said, his smile widening. If you didn’t know him so well you would have believed the expression to be completely innocent and honeyed. Standing there intertwined with his limbs you knew that devilish gleam was anything but. 
And, seconds later, this suspicion proved right. 
Suddenly he lifted you, twirling you around in such a way that made you feel like you were the bride. You’d only seen such a thing in Disney movies and cheesy rom coms – to be cherished, to be loved and cared for in such a delicate way was a fantasy; a taste of nostalgia and a serenade to the hopeless romantic within.
“J, put me down! Put me down!” You felt yourself swallow when his hands tightly gripped your hips. For a moment the irritation you’d experienced all day from a full face of makeup and wandering had all been worth it. 
His laughs slipped out, too; a direct contrast from his often irked facade, a musically heart-warming phenomenon which no instrument could emulate. The whole time you kept your eyes on each other and never once did they deter, focused on drinking in the beauty of each other. The cheers from the crowd you’d gathered fell upon both your deaf ears, transfixed by each other’s magic in your own closed off bubbles. 
As you continued to dance, the act itself felt like flying. The crowd separated when you neared – that is, until everything stopped. Sharp and prompt. 
Neither of you had much regard for the abrupt bump when it happened, there were people everywhere and mistakes occurred. It was no big deal. At least that’s what you told yourself until such a collision was followed by a violent shriek and a splash. 
Loud gasps replaced the background noise of applause.  
In a few frightening seconds your brain made the connection – linking who you’d just seen in the same area minutes before, inches from the ocean. 
“Oops,” you squeaked, too scared to turn around. However, despite your better judgement you did just that. 
The groom stood in shock, evidently unable to come to terms with the sight he was seeing. One moment his new wife was safe within his arms, dancing as if it was only two of them in the universe, the next she was below him, swimming with seaweed. Then, his form began to tremble, a telltale sign that what was to come was nowhere near the realms of good. 
He turned around with searing red eyes, a wrinkled nose and bared teeth. The eyes of the bull met the petrified, and his stubby, squared and well-manicured finger pointed directly at you. 
“You fucking bitch!” He roared.
You jumped, feeling yourself cling to J. His arm wrapped around you reassuringly and although you trusted him with your life, being confronted by a raging groom was still nonetheless intimidating. The groom who apparently cared more about telling you off than helping his wife, who was still floundering in the crashing waves, began his march over to you. 
“Do you know who I am?” He continued, and you wondered if he was still aware there was a crowd around. J almost instantly stood in front of you and had to hunch further to scowl at your aggressor.
“What was that?” J grabbed the man in front of him and slipped the blade hidden in his sleeve between the groom’s lips, angling it against the crease of his mouth. 
“Hmm? Why not try your luck, princess. Say it again.” 
The groom froze, the flicker of fear evident even on your end, though he kept up his brutish facade. 
“You’re both going to be 6 feet under when my dad’s through with you.” 
“Aww… run along to daddy so he can fix all your problems,” you could hear the pout in your boyfriend’s voice, comfortable and in your eyes even elated, to spit out the toxins he’d been gathering from just being here all day.
“So you do know who I am–” “The second most spoiled kid of Gotham’s underbelly.” 
“And yet, you’re still holding the knife.” 
“Of course the first would be your brother though, hmm?” J continued, completely ignoring the man's statement.
The groom gritted his teeth. 
“I bet it stings to not be the favourite. To not even have him here on your big day.”
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” The groom spat, bullseyeing J’s shoe. You saw red pooling at the corner of the man’s mouth, the mere act of expectorating on your boyfriend’s shoe more urgent than self-preservation. 
Yeesh. 
“Now that’s not very hygienic,” J growled, wrinkling his nose. His grip on the knife tightened and in one quick motion, the groom was screaming. 
While you couldn’t see the infliction from where you were positioned, the blood dripping onto the sand was clear as crystal. The screams of those around you were piercing, their horror and disgust forcing you to cling tighter to your boyfriend.
“J, please! That’s enough, it’s okay!” You pulled on his blazer. Feeling the hundreds of widened eyes staring holes into your being was no longer a concern. What mattered most was him. Getting out of here. 
With a quick glance to his right, J met you, then looked back at the groom. 
He smacked his lips. 
“Seems you are lucky,” he purred, the shimmer in his eye reflecting nothing of the warmth he concealed so carefully – nothing of the warmth of when your eyes met. Instead, it was serrated and reflected jeopardy. He possessed the force of a hurricane. A gravity; the way in which he commanded the direction of things and uprooted the fortitude of the righteous, the sure, a mothernatured finesse. 
He looked back at you again before shifting his hold on the man, fisting his wrinkled and bloodied shirt, then barked, “why don’t you go join your blushing bride?” 
With the element of surprise, J raised his knee and shot it between the man’s legs, the man falling down almost as fast as the foreign presence made an impact. You could have sworn someone at the corner of your eye jolted, most likely fearing the worst while others let out shrieks. Fear of the unknown, the seduction of one’s imagination and its ability to fill in blanks was the most manipulatable aspect of consciousness. Rather than bleeding out and rocking lifeless against the cradling waves like so many had thought, the groom sat there, soaking in the shame of defeat and crimson. He hollered while his new wife crawled to his side. 
“Tell your precious father I said ‘hi.’”
All eyes now turned to you both as you speedily departed, J dragging you along once more. The colony of sand in your shoe that had begun its formation hours ago was well in its breeding season now, the leathery insole most likely buried along with the newly wed’s marriage. Before you fully exited the cooperative crowd, forever to forget the merging faces of horror, two familiar ones caught your eye. 
Hah!
“Some date, huh?” You smiled, staring at your mother straight on. The way her face twisted up in a myriad of emotions – surprise, disgust, embarrassment – was something you’d never forget. You were sure you destroyed her little snobbish social circle by the mere association. Pride swelled in your chest, a childish victory that didn’t seem so childish when you later reflected on your relationship with her. 
When the two of you escaped back to the van successfully, there was a moment of contemplation. 
“I – heh – think that went well!” J laughed to himself, rounding his body to face you, “you think your parents like me?” 
“I think I should be asking the same to myself,” you said.  
“Cheer up buttercup, at least your parents know you’re not dying alone anymore.”
“To be honest, after that shitshow they’d probably prefer it,” a sigh left your lips and you began to bite them, unconscious of the small action until the taste of metal blew up your taste buds.
“Eh. Who needs parents, anyway?” 
You began to fiddle with your hands, suddenly finding them incredibly interesting. From the lack of interruptions you concluded he knew you were miles away, trapped in the wilderness of your own thoughts.  
“So I’m guessing you only came because you found out whose wedding it was.”
It took a lot to break the silence, and the air suddenly shifted to a heaviness. You weren’t sure you were the only one tensing. 
J clicked his tongue but didn’t answer. 
“It’s okay… I think I’ve had my fill of weddings for a while, anyway. And parents. And honestly, maybe people,” you answered for him, despite the swirl of hurt brewing in your gut. 
He breathed out his amusement. The lack of transience had you swallowing, frantic to keep the growing weight on your chest from expanding – from consuming your entire being with emptiness. You didn’t know how long you had until the stampede made its mark, the thunderous thuds of terror already echoing in the distance. 
Those were only thoughts you could entertain alone, sunken in the decaying paradise of your bed. 
Silence prevailed again.
Dazed and lost of direction, you remained fixated on the lines of your palms. 
“The husband had a temper. You know, I thought they were so lovely at first.”
“That’s what they want you to believe. Their little golden castles sparkle in the sun and it’s only until the rain pours that you can see them for what they really are. Wet cardboard. Looks can be deceiving.” 
“They certainly can be,” you looked up at him, smiling softly. 
Even with the friction, you slowly reached up to cup his face. This time on his end, there was no fear or hesitation. Instead, just an unspoken mutual trust between two wandering souls. You looked down at his lips while your thumbs stroked the hidden lines of his scars. The gentle caresses wore down the makeup until finally they were visible again. 
The marks of a survivor – beautiful and bold.
“Wait,” he said, the word simple and yet so labyrinthine. He reared back and looked at his hands while your own moved to rest on your knees. Curled into fists, his slowly unclamped like a blooming flower. What they revealed had your heart thumping, dancing its rhythm in your throat. You felt your eyes widen and the sadness immediately leave you, as if all its colour had been drained from you. You felt like a 1930’s cartoon, so shaken to the core that all you could see was greyscale. 
“It wasn’t the only reason,” he whispered, the commanding presence absent.  
He cleared his throat and finally looked up at you, “in fact, these were my only reason.” 
“You son of a bitch,” you bit your tongue in awe at the binding pieces of metal in his hands. They twinkled in the holiday rays, beckoning, unuttering whispers of fabrication. Was the weight of those dual bands as heavy as his heart? As heavy as the solemn expression as he processed your jabbing words?
“I-I know it’s not much but–” he stuttered, and was promptly interjected. 
“Oh! No, no, no! I didn’t mean–” 
You both smiled. Yours wide and brazen, his small and seraphic. 
“My J. Always starting fights, always getting what he wants,” you took the ring from his finger and darted to your left hand, slipping it on its rightful throne, “how can I resist?”  
You kissed him mellowed and full of saccharine and he sighed, his reciprocation just as tender despite the usual dash of coarseness. 
“Mine,” he murmured, resting his forehead against yours. He fluttered his eyes shut and his breathing began to steady. 
“Mine,” you whispered. 
In all that was and all that ever could be, never would you have believed such a moment possible. Magical and idiosyncratic, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Nothing big and extravagant in front of many eyes. Just the two of you, inside what you now considered the best moment of your life. What many described as a lock and chain, a prison for the rest of one’s life, you would describe as the only thing you had ever wanted. As much as before, everything felt complete. 
Supernal.
You don’t know how long you stayed like that, breathing in unison, basking in each other. All you knew was that it was all too soon when you hit the road again, starting the long journey back to Gotham. After a lot of the same scenery – trees, cars, rocks, more cars and occasional bodies of water – your eyes had become leaden. Resting became impossible to oppose and before long your eyes gave into its stinging demand. 
Somewhere within the haze of half-consciousness, a mysterious material was draped over you. It was silken on the inside, your arms softly grazing it occasionally, and linen on the outside, your chin brushing over it when passing uneven roads. Subtle ripples of cologne drifted from the fabric as you finally fell prey to sleep’s siren song. 
“Sleep well, sweetpea,” lulled a sweet voice. 
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18+ Jason Todd x fem!reader fic ramble.
Hey, so this is a idea i've had in my head for a while, but it won't leave me alone. I've kinda written the first part of it already? But idk if I'll finish it. I haven't worked out the ending yet either but a couple of lovely people were interested in hearing it so here goes! Thanks for the support! I'll tag you all separately.
Warnings: excessive torture, manipulation, gaslighting, rape, violence. kidnapping, interrogation, Stockholm syndrome, abuse. I dont specifically mention how old the characters are, but B-Man likes to pick them young so use your imagination to age them up a bit if you like. It's dark folks, and a super slow burn, though it might not be so bad written in brief here, but if those bother you it might not be a good idea to read it. (its hidden under the cut - PS it got super long - 2.5k words.)
You are Robin. Or, you were at least.
Batman picked you up out of crime alley, gave you a home and a purpose and trained you up to be one of the best deterrents to the crime in Gotham. You lived in the manor, and thought of Bruce and Alfred (even Dick) as your family. It's awesome and you love it!
Almost two years after donning the cape, something goes wrong. You get split up from Batman and taken by Jokers men. That night is the last night you see the sky for years.
Over the next three years, you are systematically abused, manipulated, gaslighted and tortured until you are a shell of your former self. Conditioned to obey his every whim, you micro dose of the small crumbs of affection Joker has to offer you. He gives you test after test, pushing you to your limit always in new and horrific ways. You don't hesitate when he asks you to shoot someone in the head or to beat someone to death. The consequences of fighting against him aren't worth it, you have learned that the hard way. He even doesn't always lock the door behind him and yet you don't try to escape.
You hate batman with a passion now, you regret ever having met the man, he has ruined your life and it's his fault that you are where you are now. He abandoned you. Used you for his games and then replaced you like you were nothing to him. It broke your heart when Joker showed you the footage of another Robin running along the rooftops. Your replacement. Heartbreak boiled over to fury and rage.
He passes you around his acquaintances, particularly Johnathan Crane who is eager to test his new strain of fear gas out. Under the gas you see the Bat sacrificing you again and again to get what he wants. If Scarecrow takes advantage of you while he has you in a vulnerable state, no one cares enough to stop him. He wants to know who the Bat is, but you know that telling him will put Alfred in danger and you'll do anything to avoid that
(Thankfully the joker doesn't want to know who the bat is, you're not sure you could defy him like that anymore.)
Then one day, a body gets thrown into the small cell you are kept in when joker doesn't want to play. Its a Robin. You panic, fear and anger confusing you while joker laughs in your face. You know it's another test but you can't figure out what the rules are.
This is where the fic starts. It's about Jason Todd's slow descent from a vibrant punk who loves being Robin to the dejected, abused shell of a boy who hates the caped crusader and will do anything Joker tells him. You know it'll happen, because that's what happened to you.
Only, Joker never does the same thing twice. Even if it works. You don't want to get attached to the boy, but birds of a feather and all that jazz.
Highlights (or lowlights) include:
Having to share a small confined cell with Jason.
Arguing about the Joker and escaping
"Don't you want to leave? Crazy bitch."
Finding out that Batman didn't even tell Jason about you:
“Why would he come for you anyway, huh? What makes you so special?” “I’m Robin. We’re partners. We’ve been through all kinds of shit together. We’re like this.” “Pah. You really believe it too, don’t you? Ya poor sap.” “What do you mean?” “Why go to the bother of finding a dumb punk like you when he can just make a new shiny Robin instead?” “He wouldn’t do that.” “He’s already done it. You ain’t the first.” “That Robin moved away, he’s doing his own thing now.” “I wasn’t talking about him. I meant the other one.” “What other one?” “The other one.” “There aren’t any other ones – I’m the only other Robin that there’s ever been.” “You motherfucker!”
Beating the shit out of Jason in a blind rage because he won't stop talking about how Batman will come for him.
“How long have you known Batsy for huh? If you know him so well.” “Nearly three years. How long have you known him huh? Oh that’s right – you don’t” “What? Three – Three years?” “That’s what I said. Look, I know this is scary, but I trust B-Man. He’ll come for me, we’ll kick all these guy’s asses, take Joker back to Arkham and get you out of here too. It’ll be okay, you’ll see.” “B-Man?” “Yeah, Batman.” “Shut up.” “What? Why?” “I don’t want to talk about him anymore so shut up!”
Jason finally figuring out who you are when Joker comes to punish you for denting his new toy.
Joker calling you pet names while manipulates you and you being terrified the Joker is going to replace you too
“Oh. Pumpkin, it’s alright. I thought we agreed we were over this, no? Batsy kicked you to the curb a long time ago. It’s old news! This shiny new toy of ours is your replacement.”. “What? You’re replacing me too?” “No, no no. I’d never dream of doing something so barbaric, Sweetheart. That’s the Bats’ M.O. You’re mine for keeps. I would never be that cruel, would I?”
Jason taking his anger out on you:
“Why do you hate B and not the Joker? He’s the one that’s doing this to you. He shipped you off to Crane and you didn’t even fight back.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” “No, I know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re screwed in the head. You’re a joke, you’ve given up. Some Robin you are. A real Robin fights back. You don’t deserve the title.”
Joker making you put your Robin suit back on to fight Jason for his amusement. Jason hesitates in the beginning but kicks your ass every time.
Jason trying to comfort you but being bad at it.
Joker asking your opinion on you what you think will break the boy:
"When he gets replaced. Show him."
Weeks of being beaten then long stretches of being left alone with Jason with no instructions.
Catching Jason staring at you when he thinks you're not paying attention.
Joker being caught and taken to Arkham so you both get knocked out and transported there too.
Joker ignores you the entire time he's there as he's being watched to closely, the separation sets you off into a panic when you think about it too much.
Most of Arkham is in on you being kept there. The prisoners who know about it are paid off by being able to play with you - and now Jason too.
Jason thinking in Arkham he would have more chance of being able to escape.
You being subjected to more of Crane's abuse and different types of gas.
Jason being brought back to your cell after being tortured by calendar man and offering him comfort for the first time.
Being cut open and tortured by Zsaz.
Huddling up in the abandoned wing of Arkham for warmth and comfort.
Remembering that you had met before, years ago in the Narrows before Batman took you to be his adopted daughter.
Jason taking care of you while you recover.
Giving Jason advice on how to cope and get through the different villains taking revenge on you.
Jason being hurt and tired and snapping at you, causing an argument where you lash out at him:
"I had to go through this all on my own, dickweed. I didn't have anyone to hold my hand and tell me I wasn't going to die. So fuck you! God forbid I try and help your sorry ass."
Jason being tortured by two-face and seeing Batman and a new Robin visiting Arkham. They don't hear him scream for them to help. It breaks his heart and his will to fight.
You knew it would happen, but seeing it first hand makes your heart break for him. You didn't want to be right. You hate Batman more for what he's done to Jason than what he's done to you.
"I was right there (y/n)! Right there and he didn't even look at me."
Talking about Alfred and how much he means to you both.
Thinking you might actually have feelings for Jason after all.
Being transported back to the compound when Joker finally breaks out of Arkham again only to be in separate cells.
Having major separation anxiety from not being able to tell if Jason is okay.
Joker being jealous of your attachment to Jason and doubling down on his control over you.
He tries to take you outside and you panic so badly you beg him to take you back because you're terrified of what being free will mean.
Joker telling you that you failed his test by getting attached to the boy. He tells you that he's going to kill Jason to teach you a lesson.
Being put back in a cell with Jason to find his face has been branded and he's just so utterly void of any hope or any life.
Sitting next to Jason in the cell with your head on his shoulder.
Jason knowing he's going to die without you having to tell him. His voice is quiet and resigned, almost with a shred of relief when he says:
"He's going to kill me soon, isn't he?" "I'm going to miss you, Jason Todd." "I'm glad I got to know you, (Y/N). I'm sorry I couldn't get us out." "It's okay."
You kissing his cheek as you drift off huddled together for the last time.
Joker forcing you to watch as he beats Jason repeatedly with a crowbar, ignoring your defiant cries and struggles for him to stop.
"Which hurts more Little Red? Hmm? Forehand? Or Backhand? I think (Y/N) would like to know!"
Joker blaming you for having to kill Jason:
"And all because of your silly school girl crush. What a waste. I'm very disappointed in you, Dolly."
Being dragged away screaming from his lifeless body and thrown into the back of a van just in time before the building explodes.
That's the first half. For the second half to the ending, I haven't quite figured out yet. I've got a few ideas, but I can't decide what would fit better, feel free to help me out here.
Batman could find her after all this time, new evidence being uncovered during the explosion and in his grief about finding Jason's body he could question that he never actually found yours. Of course then you'd be homicidal and try to kill him, resulting in you being locked in another cell, this time in the Batcave. You'd get to scream at him about all his failings and what a terrible person he is though so that could be cathartic. Alfred (And Dick a little) manages to talk you back to some kind of sanity but you are forever changed by this. You meet Red Hood at a later date: on your way to find an egg and cheese sandwich when someone pulls a gun on you. Seeing you again jars him out of his own homicidal rage long enough to care about the girl who he couldn't save, giving the BatFam an opening to reason with him some.
-Or-
Joker keeps you hidden away and the Bat still has no idea you even exist. It stays that way for two more years where you eventually become completely numb to everything he or his acquaintances do to you. Joker eventually gets bored at the lack of reaction and in his boredom he gets careless. A new vigilante takes it upon himself to blow up to compound and best all Joker's men, he escapes but the vigilante doesn't chase after him and instead he finds you. You resist his attempts to save you, knowing how angry Joker will be so instead, Red Hood punches you in the face, knocking you out. He carries out into the night and you wake up somewhere new and he tries to help unravel the fuck ton of issues you've got while dealing with his own. He'll probably enlist the BatFam to help once he's done wanting to kill them, unless you can talk him into killing the Bat together, after the Joker dies of course.
-Or-
One day, maybe a year after Jason dies, Joker decides he's bored of you and gives you one last curveball. After more than 6 years of being isolated and abused, you wake up in an alley on the streets of Gotham, alone. Abandoned again. After several panic attacks and not knowing if it was a test and that you should run back to the Joker or going to find Alfred because he's the only person in the world left that you trust, you decide to leave Gotham altogether. You make it out and somehow navigate your way to having an apartment, a job and even a quiet life in Bludhaven, away from the Bat and the Clown and the nightmares. Except that one day, while you're drinking your morning coffee in a café, Dick Grayson sits down opposite you. You're stable enough not to react immediately, and Dick seems to really care that you're alive and well. Turns out that the Bat found out about you and decided to leave you alone this whole time (which only serves to double down on your feelings of abandonment) Only the joker is out of control and they think that you could help them by giving them an insight into how the joker works. They've got a new Vigilante to deal with too so they're stretched pretty thin. You flat out refuse which is when it turns out it really wasn't a request. You are taken back to Gotham and confronted with the BatFam, helping them reluctantly when Red Hood breaks into your new apartment, demanding information. You argue, and it feels too familiar, setting off a panic attack when he ribs you about your complicated relationship with the Joker. Identities are revealed and you work together to take down the Joker.
The epilogue to this saga would be some time after any of those options.
Both you and Jason finally in a healthier place where you can actually acknowledge what has been growing between you two since you were paired together all those years ago. It's not a neat and tidy happily ever after, it's messy and full of arguments, fears and misunderstandings but it's also full of tenderness, softness and love. And the sex is really good too.
-
If you got this far, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think? Come chat to me anytime!
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croatian-nt · 3 years
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Domo podcast
Alright, I am posting my podcast translations here. Idk how often I’ll be able to post them, but I’ll make sure all 26 of them eventually end up here. So first one had Domagoj Vida and  Ndermin Redžaj (who will be refered as Deki through the text) as first guests. Translation below the cut bc this will be long
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Tomislav Pacak, one of two hosts, does an introduction of the podcast and says it will feature each day one player and one member of the staff for 26 days.
Host: Or goal here was to introduce or get to know the players and members of the staff who are part of the team better. I see our first episode, with Domagoj with a physiotherapist Ndermin Redžaj will be fun. Although very challenging for me, a host
 Domo was asked about the end of his season in Beskitas. His was talking about it and at one point he said "of course, we over complicated things for ourselves, the way croatian nt does usually"
Then, Domo and Deki(who is a Domo's physiotherapist) talk about how they know each other for a very long time.
Domo: Yeah Deki is a very good friend and colleague. Along with massaging me, he also cooks very well
Deki: oh Vida cooks even better. He puts us all in the car and takes us to the nearest restaurant
 Host: How does your wife handles the fact that you are in mostly men's company?
Domo: oh, she handles it well. We can also always leave them to handle David for a few hours and we go out alone
 Host: What memories do you associate with your time in Russia in 2018?(directed at Deki)
Domo, cutting in: Bunga, bunga!
Deki, trying not laugh: Well, I definetly remember the atmosphere
 Host: What about you Domagoj?
Domo: Well, for me, I mostly remember what we did in our free time. How we had fun, and most fond memories come from massage room where the whole team often spent a lot of time
 Host: During doček you were hanging from the bus few times right? Who kept you up again?
Domo: oh yeah, I hanged like a ceiling lamp. Suba and coach held me up. But generally, that whole day is one of my most fond memories. Whenever I am at hard point in my life, I turn on doček on youtube and I instantly feel better
Domo: It's weird you know? People still tell me „Thank you" even today as they did on doček
 Host: How was it with all the mixed feelings after the final? Were you all proud immediately after or was there some bitterness at first?
Domo: well, it all depends on people individually. For me, it hit ne hard. We were so close to winning and I was crushed. Everyone kept telling me "keep your head high, we should be proud". It was only after we came back to hotel and started celebrating that the good feelings started to come back
 Host: Alright, first card break. These are which one would you choose
Domo, under his breath: pancakes
Deki: *laughs *
Domo: don't laugh at me dragi! Don't. Oh *looks at first card * you should have pulled out this one. Beer or wine?
Deki: depends on a moment
Host: okay what about...after the win against England? Deki: beer. Definitely beer
Deki, to Domo: sand or pebbles(on a beach)
Domo: sand. I don't like pebbles. They hurt my-
*He cuts himself off, everyone laughs*
Domo: ...my feet
 Deki: Batman or Superman? Domo: what was the first again?
Deki: Batman
Domo: *burts out laughing * there are cameras here!
*both laughing *
Domo: inaudible from laughter in the mouth
Domo, finally stops laughing, makes a straight face: Superman
Domo: just because of...you know *laughs again *
Deki: okay, okay, yeah
 Deki: burek or ćevapi
Domo: ooof. ćevapi. I am sick of burek from Istambul, I eat it every third day.
 Host: Pick three cards in which you'll choose one of your teammate
Domo: Livaković *pointing at something off camera *
Host, turning around: I see he came to watch since it's turn tomorrow
Domo: yeah, he came to watch me break the ice. Watch and learn son, watch and learn
Domo, to Deki: which teammate would you let change your tire
Deki: Livakovic
*all laugh *
Livi, off the camera: you won't go far!
Domo: it's because you have golden hands
 Deki: which teammate would you choose for a partner in show potjera(hunt)?
(So in the show, there are 4 people who signed up to be there and they form a team. They need to go through three challenges to leave with money, and "the hunter", has to try and catch them by answering more questions than them. It's a bit more complicated than that but that's the gist of it)
Domo: Badelj
Deki: which teammate would you let cook you dinner?
Domo: ufff. I don't think anyone here know how to. Hmmm *thinking for thirty seconds *
Deki: Kale, maybe?(Kalinic in case someone doesn't understand our dumb nicknames)
Domo: no, he has good prosciutto, but that isn't cooking
Deki: Sluga?
Domo: Sluga! Yes, he is good!
 Domo: who would you trust with a secret?
Deki: Domagoj Vida
Domo: that-that's. Well. I guess you don't have many of them
 Deki: who would you choose for business partner
*they make eye contact and burst out laughing *
Deki: he isn't here!
Domo, still laughing: Lovren then!
 Host: one of the players you worked with privately, even outside of national team is Mario Mandzukic. He is very popular but he has this sort of untouchable image. How is he in his private life?
Deki: he is only like that in public. He is like the rest of the team. For me, they are firstly good people, and only then good players
Deki: we all know what Mario is like. He seems like he is no good but he is actually a very good man(direct translation is he is a soul of a man which is a term used in croatian)
Domo, in a bit silly voice: soul
Domo: a good man but...no I am kidding. He is a good man and we miss him here in nt. I think he retired too early but it was his choice and we respect it. The two of us(he and Deki he means) used to spend time with him more than the others and he is truly a great man. And he is always ready to help, not just those he is on good terms with but everyone
 Host: you said yourself massage room is very important in national team. Is it the same in your club as well?
Domo: well no, not as far as I noticed. People from foreign countries have different rituals, but I noticed this is very important to people from balkan. It's very important for atmosphere. After training and all the activities for the day are done, 10 or so of us guys will gather there for massage and since you go in one by one as you wait there will be fun and joking around and stuff like that. So that's very important for atmosphere, which we saw in Russia how important that can be
 Host: round three of cards with questions
Deki: what's your favorite part of a training
Host, jokingly: it isn't the breaks?
Domo: ufff. So, I like the most when a day before the actual game, older play against younger and it's the very end of the game. With centre shots between two people
 Deki: Favorite jersey?
Host: That isn't Croatian
Domo: Beskitas. Of course
 Deki: favorite club when you were a child?
Domo: Barcelona
 Host: Domo, you are nt's dj from what I heard
Domo: I suppose-
Host: so, what music do you play before and after games and what in the bus?
Domo: well, mostly narodni radio. But I mostly gave up that role to others now. To Šime Vrsaljko, and there was Jedvaj before, too
Domo: and I think during this time we'll get Livaković to do it too. He is young and he will have a long career in nt, so we should teach him how it's done
Host: you already answered this for UEFA, but I was wondering if you could repeat it. Who is the best dancer, singer etc of the team?
Domo: I am not sure I remember what I said
Host: I can remind you. You said Livakovic is the best dancer
Domo: oh, yes, true! He is the best dance he has these moves *moves side to side with hands and body * and does everything with his hips
Host: And the best singer?
Domo: there is no best singer. We sing the best all together
 Host: Do you still watches Osijek games? Since it was your first club
Domo: yeah, of course. I am glad to see they are doing well. I also watch Dinamo games since I have friend-
Host, half laughing: Livakovic?
Domo, grinning: Livakovic, our dear octopus, and Bruno and Orša...
Domo: but I'd like them to slow down a bit, leave something for Osijek you guys. Although they have been very good this year too
 Host: Last card break. It's „who in the national team...“
Deki: Who gets mad the fastest?
Domo: Broz. But he also stop being angry the fastest
 Deki: Who is the best at public speaking?
Domo: oh, coach, definitely. But from players, Badelj
 Host: so which clubs and players do you love to watch and some maybe that you used to love to watch before?
Deki: well I used to love watching Milan during Boban's time. Today, I love watching Real Madrid. And for players Luka of course. Benzema-
Domo: oh god
 Host: so how is now with Corluka being a coach when he was your teammate only a short while ago?
Domo: well, it's only the first day so we didn't have much time to talk. It's a bit weird with Carli being a joker and a gentlmen both in one. We are used to joking around but during training now that isn't the case because he is the coach and he should be treated as such. After it though, we can relax a bit more and talk
 Host: that's all guys, thank you for this and thank you for breaking the ice in this show. Although you put the bar pretty high, I guess we'll see tomorrow if Livakovic can outdo you
Domo: I am sure he will, you'll have two goalies tomorrow
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omegatheunknown · 3 years
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AEW Double or Nothing 2021
In which the spirit of WCW is alive in confusing and delightful ways and we are left to parse whether overbooking and extracurriculars are offset by having actually very good wrestling happening at the same time.
- Lessons learned from Revolution on the production side? Maybe just cool it on pyro, though the rappelling adventure in the Stadium Stampede showed some of that now-characteristic 'trust us it'll look better on TV' flair. Hot crowd tends to paper over most woes, and the crowd was pretty hot. My one gripe is that the casino theme is hanging around like yesterday's takeout containers. Nothing wrong with clinging to a theme, I just think it's time for season 2. My suggestion? Under the Sea.
*Pre-Card Serena Deeb (C) v Riho for the NWA Women's Championship (***1/2) - Serena Deeb's star has finally risen. She's a remarkably consistent technician and she can get a match out of anyone at this point. She's working at the level of Mercedes Martinez or Madison Eagles at this point, it's amazing that she was overlooked or considered fit only to be a coach for so long. With the NWA belt she has this new swagger, she's basically everything Tessa Blanchard might bring to the table with none of the downsides (Serena has a lot of friends and seems like a lovely person, even!) - Riho's back and here to stay. Her time in Stardom didn't do much for my evaluation of her, which is that there are many better wrestlers that would be better representatives of the joshi style and she's merely pretty good. - The match was very good. Serena showcased a champion's aggression against a sympathetic Riho, they really work well against each other, Deeb's technical prowess against Riho's flexibility led to a very dynamic finish.
*Main Card Hangman Adam Page v Brian Cage (***1/2) - Here the shenanigans start. Brian Cage is on Team Taz, Team Taz has nothing else much to do tonight, so why wouldn't Team Taz flex their muscles, bait us with HOOK, etc? (Because it would be nice to have some variety in the card in terms of a match where one competitor stands across from another competitor?) - Hangman is (checking notes) yeah, still over as fuck, as befits the Anxious Millennial Cowboy. Cage terrifies me, he's a child's drawing of a body builder. He do be very agile for a man of his immense musculature tho. They match up well, Page is biggish for a flyer, Cage loves to play catch. Nothing much to write home about, other than Hangman's beautiful moonsault to the floor and what was overall a very good curtain jerker. - Okay fine, I am curious about Cage's reluctance to lean on the goons, Starks can't come back soon enough.
The Young Bucks v Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston (***) - I will not be referring to Mox & Eddie as (The) Wild Things because it gives me 'he calls it the wacky line' flashbacks for some reason. - The Bucks have to cheat and abuse Rick Knox's attention span constantly to be on even footing with Mox & Eddie, which is a clever sort of thing that gets washed out by the appearance of LG and Karl Anderson, which again, is cool in a vacuum but was the story of the evening. - Pace was weird - repetitive in eliminating Eddie, then Mox fights back, failed hope spot, Bucks team up, Eddie saves x2/3 in a row. - Mox, unlike Cody (in so many ways,) will probably actually be taking some time off with Renee, which is the kind of thing I would prefer not to know in terms of booking, but they really uh, put him down on the canvas here, and it felt pretty finale-esque.
Casino Battle Royale (n/r, but on the balance pro) - Any changes to the theme of the PPV would likely include changing up the nonsense suit format of these largely joyless slogs. - Obviously anticipating a NJPW talent, or... I dunno, actually -- Lio Rush was a surprise. Got in a quick demonstration of his otherworldly quickness, and you know what, there's probably a fun place for him in AEW. He'll need some friends, of course, feel like Team Taz might fit his temperament. I wonder if he was aware of the Mark Henry news... - Christian does not need to win this kind of match to get a title shot, obviously, but that said it was super lovely to use him to give Jungle Boy the shine. Jungle Boy would be a license to print money if he was even as big as Hangman. - Could register some continued griping about how Penta is not getting his due in AEW but he also literally was dressed as the Joker so I'm low on sympathy on this one particular night.
Anthony Ogogo v Cody Rhodes (*) - I did not like this. It's hard for me to read jingoism as a face move to begin with, and Cody's was egregiously tone deaf and kinda silly yet delivered without a trace of irony because Cody doesn't do irony on purpose, ridiculous neck tattoo aside. - Great argument to be made that Ogogo just isn't experienced enough to be winning matches against Cody. But like, what are we doing here? Cody needs to take some time off, maybe. I thought that's what was happening when he had his mini feud with Penta that really just ended in quick decisive Cody win. I though maybe Cody was being turned when QT and The Factory snapped-- sure, they're a group of impotent player 2s, but Cody is an out of touch elitist with a callous and manipulative streak. Alas, also no. America #1. - Cody is approximately 8 times as tough as Billy Gunn based on his weathering of the one punch man. Match ran a bit long given how little there was to go on. Cody gigged? Quelle surprise. - Cody had the best match on the card like, 3 out of the first 4 AEW events or something, and that was all booking and storytelling. I do hope Cody follows Moxley's lead into a little sabbatical.
Miro (C) v Lance Archer for the TNT Championship (**1/2) - Card's hossiest hoss match, a quick burst reminiscent of a car wreck. Absolutely hit on what it should've hit on but a little slow moving considering it went all of 10 minutes. - I will not complain about Jake the Snake, who I love. And also the gimmick spot, with Miro very astutely yeeting what was definitely a snake in a bag (surely.) back down the tunnel.
Dr Britt Baker, DMD v Hikaru Shida (C) for the AEW Women's Championship (***) - Picked up a lot of steam toward the end but seemed a little toothless (heh) until the last five. - Shida 'deserved' some more time as champion in front of crowds but also it's time to let heel Britt reach her peak, I can't even imagine how obnoxious she can be as the champ, it's going to be great.
Sting & Darby Allin v Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky (***1/2) - Such is the power of STING that I feel like I might be underrating this match... I mean it was an okay match about very simply getting some revenge and the sixty year old man did a very subdued Code Red and a slightly less subdued dive. He's also Sting. They missed an opportunity in calling it the 'Scorpio' Death Drop, but the main takeaway here is you see something like this where it's The Icon and you start to understand why WWE trots out their legends to come out of incredibly still kick ass without bending their knees. - The difference, I guess, is that Sting is absolutely being used to build up Darby Allin, whereas it's not like the fed brought back Goldberg and his attendant aura to pump up... anyone but Goldberg?
Kenny Omega (C) v PAC v Orange Cassidy for the AEW World Championship (****) - Off the top I have to say I'm very sad that the rest of the Galaxy's Greatest Friends were seen only very briefly, nice of them to bring OC's backpack. - Also have to point out that PAC's promo featured one of my favourite jokes, that Kenny must be short for Kenneth as a sort of legal/birth name belonging to a professional wrestler. (See also: Samoa Joseph) - And Mr Cassidy certainly did try in this match, ragdoll sells and all. Kenneth and PAC are absurd talents who bring aerial, power and technical maneuvers in equal measure and OC is not doing any of those on the same level, but he picked his spots, showed his genre savvy and hung in there to the point that he wasn't just the fall guy. - The extracurriculars continue in a match that was already a little overboard for silliness due to asymmetry... I think if you're the Invisible Hand it would've made sense to save up all your tricks for this match, but who am I to question the golden goose? - Sure, Kenny and Don ran the classic heel manager interference spot and taking out the ref in desperation spot but having to take out the ref because PAC wouldn't break the hold is fun, as is the stupid/inspired sense in running the 'smash opponent with the belt' spot four times so as none of your heavy gold prizes feel left out. (I love that AAA Mega Championship, they weren't on TV so we get to see it?) - "Fuck You, Don," indeed.
The Inner Circle v The Pinnacle in 'Stadium Stampede II' (***1/2) - This one had to grow on me for two reasons, first that it's usually pretty unforgivable to co-opt the main event spot from the championship match, and second to law of diminishing returns on dumb gimmick matches. - But grow it did. There's a full on meat locker? Commentary will refer to a cardboard cut-out of Shahid Khan as Tony Khan's father (that's canon now,) and Jericho will lovingly pat it? Konnan happened to be the DJ at whatever night club there is a Jaguar Stadium? Spears surrounds himself dramatically with chairs and his hoisted by his own petard? - Ultimately it comes down to letting Sammy shine. His involvement with the Inner Circle has sometimes come at the cost of being able to showcase that prior to AEW he was an ascendant talent in PWG, on his way to Ricochet level feats of acrobatic excess. Still feel like Sammy could've/should've been the one tossed off the cage a few weeks ago, but even better is being the guy getting the pin in the ring.
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toruhalo · 3 years
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Psychotic (3/?)
Pairings: Ledger!Joker x Female OC
Wordcount: 1622
Warnings: blood and injury, self-destructive thoughts, threats, manipulation?
previous chapter: 2
A/N: I hope people still read this lol and idk if it’s even good but writing Joker makes me happy
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Tranquility. The dense humid air sweeps through the forest floor, leaving behind droplets of water in its wake. She can feel the nearby leaves brushing her calves and fingertips as Violet observes her surroundings. She feels comforted, as if she was surrounded by people who cherished her. In the distance rests a foggy view of a waterfall, glowing green from underneath. Vines begin to entangle and caress her as she walks towards the source of the light.      
"Violet?" the voice whispers.       
"... You okay?"       
She elevates her head from her hands to see Sharpener looking at her with furrowed brows. She blinks to regain her eyesight and leans back in her chair.      
"I-I didn't realize I fell asleep. Sorry..."      
Sharpener chuckled, "It's okay, if my story was so boring you could've told me."      
Violet smiles and begins to daintily pick at her food in her tray. Her thoughts begin turning to the dream she just had. The environment she recalled made her ache to witness it once again, as it conveyed a feeling of belonging. A feeling Violet isn't familiar with.      
"Blonde Barbie, two o'clock," Sharpener snickers.      
Violet looks up at the cafeteria counter to instantly see the one and only Doctor Harleen Quinzel. She quickly grabs two trays of decent looking food from one of the workers and makes her way out of the room. Violet huffs and takes a bite out of her bland, discolored lasagna. She knew that Joker was currently having a session with Harleen, so was she getting lunch for the two of them? A date?     
"Woah there, what'd that spork do to you?" Sharpener slides the plastic utensil from her deathly grip. Flecks of blood followed the movement and pooled in her palm. Sharpener grimaced and handed her his leftover napkin.     
"T-thank you. I wasn't thinking," she mumbles.     
"Clearly..."     
The two fell into mutual silence while the rest of the cafeteria continuously grew louder. Violet's thoughts instantly began to swarm her mind while mindlessly finishing her lunch. She recalls the time Joker reassured her that he was only using Harleen for his own gain, but as days passed she began to consider, what if he was lying to gain her trust? She didn't know him very well, but she suspects no one does. Why would J like her out of all people, if he could even like anyone that way.     
“You gonna tell me why you got so angry when you saw that doctor?" Sharpener inquires.     
"I-I don't l-like her very much."     
Sharpener laughs, "I can tell that much. Is she your psychiatrist?"    
"No... She's my fr-" Violet stopped herself. Was J even her friend? What was he to her? A silly crush at the most, she thought. "Someone I-I talk to is her p-patient."     
"Hmm. And here I thought I was the only one you talked to..." Sharpener jokes. "Who is it? You don't have to tell me, I wouldn't care much."     
"The J-Joker," Violet mumbles. She figured it might help to talk about him to someone else, other than Doctor LeLand who clearly doesn't perceive him in a good light.     
Sharpener furrows his brow, "Are you sure it's him?" Violet nods. "Huh. You're the last person I would think who would have enough balls to even look at him, let alone hold conversations with him."     
 Violet freezes and slowly picks up her tray. "And y-you're the last person I would think to say t-that to me." She stands up and makes her way to the trash cans, leaving a stunned Sharpener behind.
    The bed frame squeals loudly as Violet harshly sits down on top of it, not even bothering watching the guard lock her cell door, as she routinely does. She could feel her eyes start to burn with fresh tears as she tried calming herself down. Yet to no avail, one leaks as she's overwhelmed from her deteriorating self-worth. The more she thought, the more she agreed with what Sharpener said. Joker was the one who started talking to her, Joker was the one who prompted the conversations. She had nothing to give to J. She was worthless, and she can't even talk without stuttering. Her parents were right about everything; she realized. J had to be manipulating her, she couldn't think of another reason why he would talk to her so much.     
The sound of a door creaking open swayed her out of her manic state. She shifts to unfortunately see Joker standing in her cell, same as the day he lied to her about Harleen. He smiles slyly and holds up an ID card of an Arkham employee in his stained hand.     
"Here's the secret to the magic trick. Figured I might as well, uh, show ya."     
Violet quickly wipes away her tears and turns her head opposite of him. She could already feel his attentive gaze burning a hole in her head, which made her heart rate increase from merely thinking about it. As she didn't respond, Joker took a seat next to her, tapping the card against his palm in frustration. She could still feel his eyes roaming her and even heard his breaths coming out of his nose. He suddenly huffs and stands up, walking to the toilet sink combo in the corner of the cell. He promptly tears off toilet paper, wets it in the sink and walks back to the low bed. J stops in front of Violet and crouches on one knee, causing them roughly to be the same height. Violet's heart is now pumping furiously in her chest now, and she's sure Joker can overhear it from how close he is.     
Still refusing to look at him, she jumps when he grasps her injured hand and turns her palm upwards. Joker glides the water soaked toilet paper onto her hand, gently cleaning up the dried smeared blood.     
"You don't, uh, belong here, doll. You and me both. We belong out in the city of darkness. Causing chaos. We can't be restrained. We're like, uh, wild animals. If we're kept inside a... cage, we'll itch to get out, so we can live." He threw the bloody wad of toilet paper over his shoulder and grabbed Violet's other hand in his own.     
"That's why I'm getting us out of here. I can see it's, uh, eating you up inside."     
 "Why me?" Violet whispers.     
 Joker laughs through his nose, "Because, my porcelain doll. You have yet to live up to your full potential." He slowly retracts his hands from hers and stands back up. Violet already feels cold without his rare touch. "We'll, uh, talk more tomorrow."
    Weeks pass until the two decide to put their escape plan into action. Violet had forgiven Sharpener the day after he insulted her, as he sincerely apologized. Now, she was trying to convince Joker to bring him with them during their escape.     
"He can't come," Joker almost growls.     
"W-why not? He's nice to me and he's been in here a w-while."     
  "I don't care if he's the nicest guy in the world. He's not coming."    
"What if he a-agrees to work for you?"     
J sighs and cracks his neck. Violet continues to look at him with her puppy dog eyes, never looking away. Joker chuckles and leans towards her, entangling his hand in her long hair.     
"How about... I, uh, come meet him...and decide for myself. Would you be happy then and, uh, stop nagging me?"
Having J with Violet during lunchtime is a strange sensation. Him being next to her, causes all eyes to be on them at all times. He's a notorious criminal, who has never stepped foot in the cafeteria. That would make anyone stare at him. However, Violet seems to be the only one affected by it. J is humming to himself while eating her pudding, not bothered by the dozens of gazes on himself and his companion.     
"Aren't ya... gonna eat that?" He points at her breadstick.     
"I-I don't like to eat when p-people are staring."     
 Joker hums and sets his pudding cup down.
"They're harmless. Just a bit... looney," he chuckles. That doesn't seem to ease her worries, so he stands up at the table. "If you, uh, keep staring at us like the creeps you are, I'll, uh, cut your tongues out of your mouths in your sleep," he exclaims with malice.     
 Instantly, everyone looks away, no set of eyes are locked on the pair anymore. Violet smiles and picks up her breadstick she was craving.     
"T-thank you," Violet says before taking a bite.     
"...It was becoming, uh, irritating."     
Sharpener finally shows up at the table, setting his tray down next to Violet's. His brows are furrowed in confusion at the intruder, nudging Violet to get an answer.    
 "O-oh, hi Sharpie."     
 "Sharpie?" Joker questions.     
Sharpener coughs and sits down, "I guess that's a nickname of my nickname."     
J turns back to his pudding and eats a spoonful. Violet can tell Joker doesn't like Sharpener already, but it won't hurt to try harder.     
"S-sharpener has e-experience of working for someone. I-I think he could be h-helpful to you, J," Violet takes a deep breath after finishing her sentence.     
Joker eats another bite and talks with his mouth full, "For who?"     
"Sal Maroni. He died in a car crash, so I lost my job and eventually ended up here."     
J laughs and swallows the last of the pudding, "How, uh, unfortunate... But, I work very differently from Mister Maroni."     
"I've noticed... But I don't care who or what my boss does, I just do what they ask of me."    
Joker looks at Violet between the two men who's staring at her food, "If he screws me over, I'll screw you over, dollface."
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ahsxual · 4 years
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My Personal Teddy Bear
Pairing: Phoenix!Joker x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Request: "Heyyy !! Love your writing ! :D If it's okay for you, can you please write a headcanon with Joker 2019 and a very romantic reader who loves fluffy things ? Thank you !! <3"
Word Count: 1,9k
A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this my dear @arthurjokersgirl!! I'm really happy to know that you like my writing 🥺🥺 It means so much to me!! And I'm so sorry for taking so long, but I had a few problems in writing this fic (tumblr didn't save it, so I had to write it all over again). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic I made for you <33
(I don't own this image!!! If you own it, please message me and I'll give you the deserved credits)
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When you and Arthur met, both of you were surprised by the amount of things that you had in common.
You two are so kind, so good-hearted, so romantic and dedicated to your partner and everything you do... and if there's something that manages to put a cute and melting smile on your faces, is when you receive, especially when it’s from one another, fluffy objects, such as teddy bears, flowers, romantic CD's, love letters... anything that involves and expresses the love you have for each other.
Whenever you idealized a relationship or whenever someone asked you to describe the "perfect man", the answer was always the same: a romantic, caring, generous and cute guy who would do anything for his girlfriend, promising to love her for all eternity.
Once other people heard your answer, they would say you were just being childish, that those types of guys weren't real and that you had to live in the real world, not some kind of princess movie, waiting for your prince to rescue and fulfill your heart with all the love he could muster... what they didn't know, was that your prince was destined to meet you the moment you were welcomed into this world.
You couldn't imagine being with anybody else: ever since you shared your first words with Arthur, you knew deep inside that he was the one for you, the love of your life, your charming prince... and as if he hasn’t told you yet, he felt exactly the same, you were his one and only that he had been waiting for so long all his lonely life.
Your chemistry was unique: you were so in love, so committed to your relationship, that you were sure that you would spend the rest of your lifes with each other. Death wasn’t able to break your chain, it was stronger that anything else in the universe. Once you had finally perished, you would marry each other as many times as you needed, twice, thrice, billions of times if it were needed. 
Arthur sees you as a sweet, gorgeous flower, being utterly different from the others by its unique beauty. He doesn’t have eyes for any other flower: you're the only one he has eyes for and feels pure love for: he even compared himself to the Little Prince, and you were the only flower in his world, yet perfect and outstanding.
He loved the fact that you were as romantic as him, because that made him feel more secure and sure of yourself. Even the little things would put your eyes in tears and make your smile grow until your red cheeks started to hurt because of his sweet gestures.
Your favorite hobbie is, after getting from a tired and exhausted day of work, laying in each other's arms on the spacious sofa while watching romantic movies or comedies to brighten your mood, covered in blankets while sharing a cup of hot tea because of the frosty cold winter.
You loved everything about Arthur and your relationship with him: it was all about trust, support, love, dedication, comprehension and understanding. He was your best friend, and you were his.
Every month he would save some extra money to buy you a present, sometimes even starving himself for days just to have enough money to buy you the most expensive gift he could afford. But of course that once you knew about this you immediately stopped him, not admitting him to do such silliness no matter how good his intentions were.
But what he didn't know, was that you were willing to play the same game: without him realizing it, you saved some cash every month as well (without starving yourself, of course), to buy tickets for a romantic movie that would debut in the cinemas.
You were so happy about it, to finally give Arthur what he deserves and to take him where he has always wanted to go since he was a little kid. But this time, he would see a romantic movie with you, giving you both an opportunity to have a decent date for you to enjoy.
You couldn't wait to see your lover's face once he knows he'd go to cinema for the very first time with the love of his life, with his one and only... with you.
On the other hand, Arthur was thinking exactly the same thing, since he had been saving some cash to give you a surprise, imagining your reaction after he had offered his gift that would mark and change your lives forever, while increasing your pure love even more, if that was even possible.
One day you went to grab your hidden piggy bank with more money to save, only to count it right after. Once you had counted it and saw that you had enough, you instantly jumped and giggled from the sheer happiness around your shared room. You made so much noise, that even Arthur who was in the living room, knocked gently on the door to make sure you were fine.
Today was the day where you finally could show your gift to him: you told him that he needed to hurry up and dress something nice, because you were going to an amazing place. He wanted to know what your plans were so bad, but he knew it was useless since you wouldn't tell him until you had arrived to the "misterious place".
Once you had arrived and had gotten out safely from the bus, you told your boyfriend to close his gorgeous ocean eyes.
"You can open them now, love." you gently said with the two tickets held in your hand, while being right in front of the cinema so he could understand your intentions.
He was immediatly dumb-founded as soon as he understood what you meant. "Y-you... you want me to go to the cinema with... with you?" his eyes started to become moist with each second that passed, and you only had time to embrace him in your eyes while assuring him that this was real, that this was really happening.
"It's ok love, it's good to let our emotions out when we need to. I'm right here if you need anything. We will have so much fun! And you know that we deserve this, it will be good for us and our relationship, right?" you look into his eyes and could see that a few tears managed to slide down from his red and cold cheeks. He was definitely crying, but from happiness, something that he never thought was possible: he could only relate tears to sadness, however you managed to prove him that the opposite was possible as well. That's what he loved about you: even having been through a lot and felt so many things from his entire life, he would always learn something new about you, him and others from you.
"I can't even thank you enough for all you have done for me, honey... If I could only retribute half that you have done for me... I would be the happiest man for seeing his future wife happy as well." you were smiling from ear to ear, but once he said the words that you always dreamed to hear from him, "future wife", you had to hold your tears back from falling down your now stunned face.
You were too distracted, or should I say too concentrated on your lover, that you didn't realize that the movie was about to start.
Once you entered the cinema room, both of you were amazed by the view: the red seats were all over the place and were very organized; the movie screen was giant, the perfect size to enjoy your movie; the background was simple, yet exquisite, giving you a sudden feeling of luxury, however you didn't care that much if you were honest. As long as you were by Arthur's side, that's all that matters, because your love is the most luxurious thing in this world.
That night was the one you've always dreamed of: you stayed close to each other while grabbing your hands firmly, yet gently, like you were terrified of someone taking the other away from yourselves; the movie contained a lot of romance, which illuminated your hearts more than the brightest stars. You could even relate yourselves to the lovely couple on the screen, which made you both smile the entire time, changing glances with each other with the most passionate stare. This made Arthur think about what he had planned for you for a long time, more specifically from the moment you shared your first kiss, because since then, he instantly knew you were the one.
It made him feel a little bit, not to say extremely, nervous as well, and when the movie ended, you thought it was necessary to ask if he was ok or if he just didn't like the movie.
"N-no! Of course I liked the movie, I actually loved it. I couldn't imagine any other date more perfect than the one you planned for us... thank you once again, it means so, so much to me, sweetheart..." he admitted, making you feel more relaxed. However, he seemed like he was hiding something else, like he had something on his mind that he couldn't let out. But then he smiled at you while grabbing your hand softly, and from that moment you knew that he was about to tell you what was stuck on his mind since he left home.
You walked out of the cinema and went outside, where you instantly felt your body shivering from the cold of the late night of Gotham... but your boyfriend made sure to warm and melt your heart in an instant.
You saw Arthur overthinking and trembling a little, and when you were about to ask him if he was cold too and wanted you to warm him up, he kneeled on the rigid ground and took a small box of your favorite color from his back pocket.
You had an idea of what was coming, yet you couldn't believe that that was what was really going to happen.
"My sweet precious, kind, and beautiful love, would you... would you l-like to ah.. m-marry me...?" his eyes seemed like they belonged to a baby puppy that was asking for affection or his favorite treat, but in this case he was asking you for being his wife... Is this a dream??
You immediately felt your eyes burning and becoming wet by the few rebellious tears that managed to escape from your lovely stare. Your hands were now in front of your gaping mouth, and you couldn't feel cold anymore. The only thing you felt in that moment, was an enormous wave of warm love that you couldn't help, but you let yourself drown.
It was at this moment that all your insecurities and fears that were related to your mutual love, were permanently defeated. Now you knew there was nothing nor anyone that would tear you apart... and you had so many goals yet to achieve as a couple.
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hcpefulmarshmallow · 3 years
Text
Anonymous said:
Hi! Sorry it took me so long to reply! Know that you say it, it's true that both Akechi and Nagito share some kind of character archetype. I was mostly curious because, although they share similarities, they are different in other things. I tried to like Akechi, I really did, but the fact that he doesn't seem to feel remorse for his actions and sometimes is sadic when he kills shadows. (1/2)
And (SPOILER!) he worked for Shido to gain his trust and eventually kill him, but somehow was surprised to learn what Shido really thought of him?. Yes, Akechi sacrificed himself in the end to help the Thieves (I'm not fond of the "sacrifice redemption" thing) but doesnt excuse his actions. Meanwhile, Nagito cares for his classmates, tries to do what he thinks is best for everyone (but is bad ofc) and is kinda influenced by his illness. (2/2)
Then again, i watched the game on youtibe so it's not the same experience that playing it myself....
Here’s the thing, Anon: as someone who began Persona 5 feeling a deep, debilitating rage every time Akechi showed his stupid fucking face onscreen, to possibly maybe shedding a tear or two for him by the end, I’m not going to try and convince you to like him. Partly because it’s a silly endeavour, but partly because I understand that he just isn’t an easy guy to like. And I say this fully recognising that, just before, I called him extremely likeable. I hold the same to be true for Nagito, as well. It’s one thing to tolerate a character’s flaws when you understand their deepest and most sympathetic motivations; it’d be another if you met them in real life and were blindly subjected to the worst of that their personality has to offer. 
(continued under a cut for heavier spoilers and length i guess)
 That said, I’d argue Nagito is just as remorseless and ruthless as Akechi is. In his mind, so long as an action is committed to further a great hope, it is justified. I suspect their differences are less a matter of contrition, and more a matter of time. I found Nagito easier to sympathise with at first, because it’s easier to see his humanity than it is to see Akechi’s. Despite his habit of pushing people away, Nagito remains so desperate to be recognised, he seemingly can’t help letting his cheerful, apathetic veneer slip here and there, giving glimpses of his true motivations from the beginning. It also helps that, as Hajime, we - the player - notice it early on. Hajime observes pretty quickly that Nagito has probably been through a lot, and that he seems kind and understanding if a little strange. On the other hand, due to the nature of the game, Joker’s initial opinions of Akechi are entirely up to the player. You won’t see much of his true personality early on unless you’re really looking for it. This, for the longest time, he’s nothing more than a vaguely antagonistic presence with who knows what motives.
 Furthermore, Nagito’s betrayal of the group comes much sooner which, I’d also argue, helps ground his character. It gives us time to explore those motives, the implications, and how he might still fit in a group dynamic. Whereas, by Akechi’s about-face, we’re pretty late in the game and he still isn’t wholly part of the group, having distinguished himself from the PTs by demanding that they disband in exchange for his help. 
 In all, while Nagito is willing and eager to make his true self known, Akechi hides himself until the very end, making it harder to understand and explore his character. Even in the third semester, with his demise imminent, he’d rather keep the other characters at arm’s length than live his final month or so in good company. He really is that ruined for other people. With time and patience, he could become as open as Nagito is, but the game simply doesn’t have that time to give at this point. And that, I suspect, is the cause for the trouble you have with his character and not Nagito’s. Akechi isn’t allowed to be a person for very long. Anger, hostility and fear trickle through as unadulterated sadism, because we aren’t privy to his whole side of things as thoroughly as we could be. 
 With regard to the Shido thing, I kind of read that as a rare moment of his emotions getting the better of him. He’d always wanted to get back at his father for abandoning him and his mother. Make him pay for the hellscape of a life he trapped them in. Much like Joker, he’s met with a perceived injustice, and he wants to right it via his own means. Of course, whether what he’s doing is “right” is up for debate, but I digress. To find out that Shido knew who he was all along and was still, after all this time, willing to discard his own son must’ve hurt. To realise he never stood a chance, for his life’s work to suddenly become nothing. You know, the whole “My expectations were low, but HOLY FUCK” thing? The game puts a heavy emphasis on Rotten Adults failing kids, but with his charm and sophistication, it can be easy to forget that Akechi is one of those failed kids too. I think he reacted like a child because, deep down, he is: a child fueled by a childish anger, and that’s why the game doesn’t condemn him the way it does Shido himself. There’s this implicit hopefulness that, through atonement and support, Akechi could change himself. Become a better person. But, because of his terrible, horrible, bad, bad father, he’s once again robbed of a chance of a better life, and it’s all he can do to make sure he doesn’t drag others down further than he has with his bad choices. 
 Yeah, I’m not too fond of the Sacrifice As Redemption trope, either. I would have preferred a proper character arc. But, I do think it demonstrates an ability to be selfless and contrite, if not a willingness. Stripped of his dreams and left with nothing, he really could have done anything in that moment. And he did That. 
 Of course, it’s possible that my interpretation of Akechi is a little charitable, do bear that in mind. I have a weakness for these types of characters, and my perception may well be biased. Due to my experience with other complex characters (like Nagito), I kind of just want to see the best brought out in him. (What can I say? I grew up shows like Avatar, complicated characterisation and quality redemption arcs Do It for me.) That said, it’s not at all invalid to find Akechi’s arrogance, selfishness and disregard for others offputting, with or without a reason for him to be such. The way he exists in his story vis-à-vis the whole foil thing I discussed in my last post is similar to Nagito’s role, and they share a lot of characteristics that are fun to discuss. But they are, ultimately, different characters. It’s okay to feel wildly different about them. 
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365days365movies · 3 years
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January 6, 2021: Last Action Hero (Part 2)
SPOILERS! And check out Part 1 beforehand! Anyway, let’s go! Got a lot to cover, TRUST me.
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So, this movie is incredibly cluttered. Anyway, Slater makes his way to the Fart Bomb, and Practice (makes perfect) is a dirty cop working for Vivaldi. Danny and Slater get chained to a pipe, and I’m still surprised we haven’t even slightly revisited the time Danny got taken hostage about, what, an hour ago? Whiskers the Cat Cop arrives and shoots Salieri, and I weep for the part of my sanity that just died typing that sentence.
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I want you to know, I mad that GIF. I had to type “furball problem.” I’m losing it, you guys...and I think I’m enjoying it.
Together, Slater and Danny steal the body of Leo the Fart (HUP, there goes a little more sanity), everybody at the funeral has a gun (including one old woman with a straight-up grenade launcher), and so, SO much property is abused and damaged. In other words, it’s a pretty fun action sequence. Leo drops into a conveniently placed tar pit alongside Jack Slater, and Danny briefly becomes a domestic terrorist by shooting a gun in a public area, WOW, the ‘90s was a different time!
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So, it’s at this point that I start getting annoyed by Danny always being meta. I realize that I've been praising it for this, but...yeah, no, it’s starting to get annoying now. Especially considering that we’ve got an hour left in the movie. But, on the bright side, it’s also at this point that Benedict becomes my favorite character. This gorgeous motherfucker kills Vivaldi (whose plan was completely nonsensical, by the way), and then turns to the screen. Charles Dance effortlessly channels the spirit of Shakespeare’s Richard III, Duke of Gloucester, as says this to the audience:
If that little turd, Daniel Madigan, can move through parallel worlds, I can move through parallel worlds. In and out! In, steal whatever I want, and out again! Impossible to catch!
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I can add colors to the chameleon, change shapes with Proteus for advantages, AND SET THE MURDEROUS MACHIAVEL TO...Anyway...  
Charles Dance is giving his absolute best energies to this role. And this might be a silly movie, but godDAMN is Benedict a great villain for it. It’s immediately followed by the surreal image of a monster truck crashing through the wall of this mansion, and the fight leads to Benedict, Professor Toru Tanaka, Danny, and Jack Slater falling through a portal created by the ticket, and ending up in the real world.
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We put Jack’s action-movie world in contrast with the real world, first with little things, and then with a legitimately vicious-looking car accident. Like, wow, it’s a VERY realistic-looking accident. I’d show a GIF of it, but...wow, it’s extremely affecting. Toru dies, and there’s, uh...there’s blood. Man. It’s rough, honestly.
Speaking of affecting, Jack is beginning to understand the true nature of his reality. And Schwarenegger does an OK job pulling that pain off...but like everybody in this movie, his emotions are way calmer than mine would be if I were in his shoes. But there is one character I can identify with: Nick, the theater owner. When he finds out that the ticket works, he starts to talk about the movies he could now visit, the people he could meet. OK, most of them are beautiful female starlets, but still! I get it! Do you know how much I would love to meet Stan Lee? SERIOUSLY? It’d be amazing.
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I can also identify with Danny’s mother, who is rightfully PISSED. Seriously, this kid just got assaulted by a robber, brought to the police, and went directly TO THE MOVIE THEATER. GROUND THIS CHILD. GROUND HIM SO GODDAMN HARD.
And then, Benedict experiences the darkest part of the real world, and Dance again shows his talent. He begins by showing surprise and mild horror at the depravity of an early 1990s New York City (a little more dramatically bad than it was in real life at this point, but still), then sees a man assaulted (and possibly killed) for his shoes. He remarks at this in horror...then realizes that the police don’t come as quickly as they do in his film universe. He experiments by killing a man in cold blood, in public, and no one stops him. 
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Upon realizing his potential freedom in this world...he makes a plan. He uses the ticket, and brings back...the Ripper. ANY OTHER MOVIE VILLAIN? Dracula? Freddy Kreuger? Jason? Like...nobody? That is...such a missed opportunity, goddamn.  Anyway, their plan is to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger. As in the REAL Arnold Schwarzenegger, who actually appears upon his real-life wife at the time Maria goddamn Shriver! Which...yeah, that’s cool, but...the amount of celebrity cameos in this scene is, frankly, INSANE. 
Here’s a list: Little Richard, Jim Belushi, Damon Wayans, Chevy Chase, JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, MC Hammer. And that’s not counting Tina Turner (the mayor earlier), Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick, Joan Plowright, and...well, I’ll save the best for last.
I haven’t even mentioned the development of Slater’s as a three-dimensional character in multiple different ways; the Ripper showing up at the movie premiere alongside the movie actor, Tom Noonan; the Ripper KILLING NOONAN’S REAL WORLD AGENT...
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This movie is insane. So much to cover, and yet it’s SUCH A LONG GODDAMN MOVIE. This movie is 2 hours and 11 minutes long! SERIOUSLY! I am tired, I gots to go to BEEEEED. Let’s get this climax over with, shall we? Arnold Schwarzenegger meets Jack Slater in some REALLY seamless effect work (this movie has actually aged SO well, damn), the Ripper kidnaps Danny and brings him to the roof of the theater, in a bid to reenact their old battle. Some meta dialogue takes place from the Ripper, and he THROWS DANNY OFF THE ROOF. Noonan’s also actually pretty good at playing this unhinged, Joker-esque maniac, by the way.
Jack kills the Ripper (again), and Danny’s saved from falling by Jack, just in time for Benedict to show up and make my day once more. He expounds the true potential of the ticket and film villains (frustrating me even more), while also chewing the scenery splendidly. He points out that any movie villain would love the real world, noting that in this world, the bad guys win. He shoots Jack Slater, and as he’s about to win, Slater shoots him in the eye, resulting in this shot.
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Nice. 
But he drops the ticket, which lands near a theater showing the classic Ingmar Bergman film, The Seventh Seal, a movie which is on my list for Drama December. Or maybe Experimental June, I haven’t decided yet. Anyway, the ticket activates in front of that theater and...that’s Ian fucking McKellen.
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THAT IS IAN. FUCKING. MCKELLEN. PLAYING INGMAR BERGMAN’S DEATH. WHAT. HOLY SHIT. And that happens just as Slater is literally about to die in the ambulance, and Danny summons his domestic terrorist impulses again, whipping out a gun and hijacking the ambulance to get Jack back to the theater. Meanwhile, Ian McKellen just KILLS a dude on the street, because this movie is secretly AMAZING. DeathKellen follows the ambulance to Nick’s movie theater as Jack is dying. Leading to one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen.
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McKellen fucking TAKES this movie as an omnipotent death, and is essentially Death ex Machina. My God. This movie is the silliest, craziest, wackiest, most nonsensical, crazy movie that I’ve seen...and goddamn does it have some amazingly great moments. To the extent that I only just realized that the fucking cartoon cat is voiced by DANNY FUCKING DEVITO. WHAT. THE FUCK.
And all of this is also running over the almost completely ignored fact that Danny is still greatly saddened about the death of his father. And this film completely passes that fact over. Like I said, there’s so much extra folderol in the film, and it really did have the chance to be this emotional, existential epic. But sadly...it’s kind of all over the place.
Anyway, Jack’s back in the movie, where his wounds heal, and he now has a new understanding of his own fictional existence. He officially becomes the meta. And also ruins the Jack Slater franchise forever. Yeah, uh...the franchise has literally become self aware. And that’s not gonna be a good thing for the movie.
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And that’s Last Action Hero! Epilogue coming in a few hours, so stay tuned for that. And I gotta tell you...I have some words to say about this movie. Some great, and some...stay tuned.
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is1it0true1 · 4 years
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Husbands! Wanna One [형line]
Yoon Jisung
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-he would be your no. 1 fan, your hype man yo
-very supportive of whatever you do
-he really let's you do whatever you want...
-meeting up with guys is no problem
-once you said "jisung oppa, I want to go Germany" while lying lazily on the couch
-the next day, you got yourself a trip to Japan??
-perculiar yes but mama yoon have his own reasons
-he woke you up at 5 am in the morning to pack your bags and woosh you go
-well... he didn't get the place wrong when you ended up in Japan...
-he brought you to the German festival in Japan, the one that was on TV when you mentioned that you want to go Germany
-he will spoil you in the weirdest but sweetest ways you would never think of
-everyday is a surprise with him
-he trusts you a lot as well
-he finds it endearing how you will always return home to him excitedly
Ha Sungwoon
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- he is the epitome of PDA
- forehead kisses all day err day
- spoils you with hugssss and cuddlessss
- loves bringing you out just so that he can tell the world that you are his wife
- "one vanilla ice cream for me and one more for my wife" while interlocking with your hands
- that was a dumb move cuz he had to quickly let go to hand over the money
-he would put face mask with you every night, talking about the latest idol stuff
- he gets out of his way just to take care of you
- can't get the box of cereal that is weirdly stored at the top shelf??
- he can't either so how on earth did it get up there???
- he would climb up the stools to get it for you cuz the last time you tried, you fell of the stool and sprained your ankle
- he surprised you later on with the entire kitchen renovated to your needs
- just saying, he would be a real sweet but clingy baby husband
Hwang Minhyun
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- he's your tree, will hold the umbrella for you and offers to carry the groceries
- he is a vacuum cleaner
- any speck of dirt in your house would be sorry for ever being there
- he appreciates you cleaning the house with him but would rather you sit down as you make more of a mess much rather than help
- he doesn't intiate PDA but you love it, so he just follows along
- does not seem like the type but will act super clingy and cute to you when you are alone
- you were at a supermarket an old lady asked if he was your boyfriend and you responded with a playful no
- when you were loading your groceries into your car, he suddenly whined and said. "Why didn't you tell her I'm your husband?" while swinging your arm.
Ong Seongwu
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-he may be your husband but he is also your bro
-your relationship with him is a loving but silly one
-you guys are the dumb pair duo, doing crazy ish together
-that decorative vase that was in your living room? it had been broken 10 times since you moved in but you guys kept replacing it so no one notices
-practises doing sports with you so he can seem like a cool dad when he plays with your kids at the park in the future
-who is he trying to fool tho? he avoids all the balls you throw and we are talking about soft throws here
-even if you are married, he still throws you pick-up lines all day err day.
- as well as food
-did I mention that he throws food?
- you all would have a weekly food fight
-it would be Ong and the kids vs you
-but don't worry he would be the one cleaning afterwards
Kang Daniel
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-he is your pet??
-he is very clingy and would occasionally rub his head by your side and by that I mean every morning
-whenever he is available at home, he would be at you side all the time
-in the kitchen drinking water? he's right behind you
-vacuuming the floor? he's right behind you
-other that that he's your gag man doing random stuff
-a very considerate husband but very clumsy
-would try to do things for you but not so successfully
-once you woke up to him in front of the dressing table with a face full of clown makeup on your anniversary, well he wanted to dress up nice so that he could pleasantly surprise you
-but the liptint went wrong somehow and he thought it looked like joker
-he continued with the funny makeup then he realised that he can't remove it and you woke up
-safe to say that instead of bringing you out, y'all stayed home with his clown makeup
-whenever you are outside though, he's gonna be the most charismatic man on the streets
-he would put his arm around your shoulders always and shelter you from the sun with him build
Kim Jaehwan
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-he is a pillow honestly, a portable pillow
-he would always snuggle right next to you be it on the couch or bed
-he like to scream when he gets excited
-it got worse after your kids got obsessed with Dora the explorer, he would start screaming with your kids at swiper no swiping
-when y'all are at the supermarket, instead of holding on to the kids, he would be holding on to your arm like the kid
-while the kids trail right behind him looking around amazed in the fruits section
-a very dreamy husband though, when he's not being weird
-when you are sleepy on the bus he will put your head on his shoulder
-when you can't sleep at night he would cuddle you and sing till you fall asleep
-will fite the kids for your attention tho, but he loves them still
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