#he goes out of the country for an underground mission for two weeks and he's like

[willowser]

another thing about the assistant angle is like. being there when bakugou reaches the hero top 40 and branches off with kirishima and sero and denki for their own agency. it's a bit of a mess bc they're barely twenty years old but—you're his only employee. he can barely afford to pay you and he doesn't even really know what you're supposed to do besides answer the phone and he's so emotionally unavailable but you're there, every single day. friendly with his friends. sometimes you bring lunch in for all of them and it's out of your own paycheck and it's not the best but you do it, for them. he lets you make the schedule for two weeks and you fuck it up so bad, but eventually you get it right and you try to be so fair—and that's hard to do, in the pro-hero world. there's nothing fair about a twenty year old man with trauma up to his ears risking his life every night because he doesn't know how to live with just himself, as just a man and not a hero, but goddamn it if you don't try to keep it fair, for every single one of them. you're one of his emergency contacts. you pick them up in the middle of the night when they're all the way across town, in another district police department bc that's where they caught the guy and where they have to turn him in. sometimes you bring their clothes or costumes home and wash them bc they don't get the chance. like it's everything.

#it means so much to me you dont get it alfhduskqlq #you're away from each other for whatever reason and he doesnt even realize how much he depends on you #until he cant #just for that moment #he goes out of the country for an underground mission for two weeks and he's like #i need to call my assistant #for what bro ???? they're not here ????? #and he knows how to do things himself that's not a question here it's just — he's so used to having someone right there #someone that is not kirishima or deku #someone that know the exact scent of deodorant he wears and buys it when they're out bc it's on sale and they know— #—how quickly he goes through it #LIKE. DO YIU GET IT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. #IT'S SO PERSONAL. #IT'S LIKE I KNOW HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU BUT I'D PREFER NOT TO HAVE TO #✿ thoughts: bakugou

[hawnks]

coincide pt. v

previous

series rating: r18 (explicit)

hawks (takami keigo) x reader

word count: ~4,800

[soulmate au, slowburn, UST as a plot device, avian keigo, allusion to depression, hurts hurts hurts until it doesn't anymore right?]

warning: canon-typical violence

Summary: You’ve got a talent for melodrama, huh?

.........................................................................

His sabbatical is lengthy and non-broadcast. They’d wanted him to take a respite, recuperate, maybe go sit under a waterfall. You’re not yourself, his handler told him. We need Hawks. Not whatever ghost has taken his place. It’s dangerous to keep masquerading as someone who’s heart is in it one hundred percent. That kind of half-assed heroing will get someone killed, one of these days.

They book him a room at a historical hotspring, set up an itinerary with huge swaths of time dedicated to “Rest.” He leaves the hotspring, and the country, without telling anyone.

He goes to Taiwan, to help with some underground hero work. Then France, then Egypt. Most of the jobs are espionage, kept under wraps, need-to-know basis. The rest are off the books altogether. He flies most of the way himself, just so he can pass out each night, bone-tired, and wake up in the morning with nothing but open air behind him. 

Everything hurts, the muscle strain and the altitude headaches and the canned coffee he mainlines just to keep from falling out of the sky on overnight journeys. There’s a pressure in his chest that won’t let up, a constant squeezing sensation that feels like shortness of breath, like drowning. Like all the air sucked out of the world, and Keigo, alone, fighting to stay afloat. 

Maybe he should get that checked out. 

But then, there’s no time to think about the future. He keeps his schedule tight, barely a second to blink between each mission, let alone book a session with his Commission appointed doctor. Besides, it’s pointless, anyway— 

All of it. 

He fights, draws blood, garners secret and dangerous intel. He sits down for dinner with ambassadors and heroes revered among their people. But there’s no glory to any of it, no reverence left in him. 

He imagines himself, a glassy-eyed, shiny little kid. How deeply he would have felt these accomplishments, these feats. Now all he feels is a vague sort of wistfulness. Like he’s already an old man, been through, seen it all. 

“What the fuck, Hawks,” his handler says over the phone. It’s been three weeks since he left, the first time he’s answered their calls. “You can’t just abscond without telling anyone.”

“Abscond?” he returns, with a genuine laugh. “Like I’m a thief?”

“You are an asset to the Commission,” the handler returns. “And you have responsibilities.”

“I’m on vacation,” Keigo tells him, and hangs up. 

And he tries (really, he does), to handle things in a productive way. He reads several (more than three!) listicles about top ten ways to get over a breakup, until he realizes that the two of you were never actually together. He’s not sure what to google for that. Unearned heartbreak? Severed soulmates? Miss her so much it feels like dying? But not even just the idea of her, or our apparent future, or the pretty thoughts about destiny? Miss the way she smells and the weird way she holds her chopsticks? Miss the way she laughs, and the sound of my name on her tongue? Miss her and miss her and miss her and miss her—

He tries the listicles. Does the self care thing, bubble bath, kitschy facemasks and all. 

And — he sees paramors in every country he visits. People from his past who fawn over him, praise him, adore him. They draw his jacket from his shoulders, and it smells like sweat and ozone. They find the tiny, secret clasps on the back of his uniform, unwrap him like a present.

“Pretty boy,” they call him. Coy and sweet. Hands so sure and eager as they caress his body. 

And he winces. Takes a step back. “Can we just—” he says, running a hand through his unruly hair. It’s getting too long. He’ll have to cut it soon. “Can we just talk?”

They all agree, sure, whatever he’s comfortable with. But the tension never leaves the room, no matter how long the small talk carries on for. Because he can claim fatigue or headaches or just not feeling it all he wants. But he could never admit the truth. How dirty he feels closing the door with another body in the room. How he cringes at the touch of another. How it’s— you. Always. On the back of his mind, at the base of his throat. Behind every turn and inside every decision. You.

You, you, you.

And the constant, painful reminder — 

The feeling isn’t mutual. 

...

The wedding is beautiful. 

Everything goes perfectly. The whole event looks like something off a trip-advisor page, beautiful but quaint, elegant yet intimate. The food is delicious, the cake so moist it melts in your mouth. Even the weather is sunny and mild, as if the powers that be wouldn’t even stand in the way of today. 

You wish you could give everything the attention and admiration it deserves. 

On the trip up, you imagined that maybe this would be just the thing to pull you out of your month long stupor. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but it’s hard to resist the rustic charms of this place, and the inherent joy of the other guests. 

Soulmate weddings are commonplace nowadays, but no less special for their frequency. There’s an indescribable quality of felicity to them. A rightness, like everything is happening exactly as it should, like everyone is exactly where they need to be. It’s something of a comfort to guests and to the couple themselves; what’s meant to be will happen. And there’s nothing anyone can do, no force of nature that can stop it. 

You try to enjoy yourself. Try to take in the ambiance, the good company. And it’s nice, for the most part. Really, it’s a lovely day, and if it weren’t for the strange tightness in your throat, constantly, you might even have been able to enjoy it.

You throw up in the bathroom, after appetizers, while the first plates are going around. You’ve been drinking, already too much, and on an empty stomach. You have half a mind to simply tap out for the night, but you can’t leave your friend tonight of all nights. Especially not when she keeps turning to you, elated, to make some silly joke, or to sigh and squeeze your hand with a dreamy smile. 

You sneak out when the party begins to pick up pace, leaving the revelry and crawling out a backdoor, into the insipid chill of encroaching night. You find a nice little staircase alcove, planning to settle down for a few minutes, but the sudden sight of another person on the stoop takes you aback. Even more so when you realize it's the groom himself, taking a drag on a cigarette.

You’ve never officially met, until today, and even that was just pleasantries, no time to talk. You’re not sure how to approach this situation; a part of you instinctively wants to apologize, but that would just make things even more awkward.. 

He peers at you, waiting for you to say something. But you don’t, so he does. 

“My last one,” he says, holding it up in salute. “I was thirteen, when I started. Thought I was a real rebel. It turns out I was just an idiot.” He looks at the cigarette, a strangely wry smile on his face. “Could never work up the nerve to stop, but… she hates it, so I’m quitting.” 

“A nice wedding gift,” you say, gathering yourself. You come to lean against the metal railing next to him. It’s cool against your bare arms, and you relish the sensation, the shock of it enough to keep you grounded, for the moment. 

“Ah,” he sighs, shaking his head. “Not a gift. Just… wanna make her happy.”

You look at his hand, the cigarette already halfway done. It smells different than any other you’ve encountered before, oddly mild, almost floral. And it makes something inside you well up, the thought that a life could be changed so wholly, so staunchly. 

You think, how special, to have someone who breaks bad habits for you.

It’s enough to cause you to burst into tears. Before you can stop it, your whole face is wet, and your breath is coming out in hiccuping gasps. 

The groom looks on, terrified. He stubs out his cigarette on his heel before handing you, of all things, a handkerchief.

He says, timidly, “Wanna talk about it?”

It takes a few long, awkward minutes before the initial wave of misery subsides, and you can speak. 

“Fuck.” You wipe your nose, unattractively, with his handkerchief. You shake your head. “Nah. It’s your wedding. Go have fun.” 

The groom shrugs. “I’m not one for spectacle. This is for her. Later, when we’re alone and eating pizza in bed, that’s for me.”

That’s nice, you think despite yourself. It just sounds — very nice. 

“She told me,” the groom says after a minute. “About your… soulmate, thing.”

You shrug. What else could you do? There’s nothing to be said. You’ve moralized and offered platitudes your whole life. You’ve lied and said you were content. But here, at your one best friend's wedding, alone, there’s no more slack to give. You’re faced with the truth lying at your feet, like a dead bird. 

You’re alone and it’s so hard. 

“She loves you. That’s never going to change,” the groom tells you. “Even if a lot of other things do.”

You think about that for a moment. Nod. “Yeah,” you say. “I know. Thank you.”

It takes you a few more minutes to calm down, fully. You’d tell him to go back inside, but you get the odd sense that he doesn’t really care that you’re crying in front of him, that he’s not as uncomfortable as you might have expected him to be. So the two of you hover there, on the stoop in the dark, until finally, you feel centered enough to rejoin the festivities. 

You brush off your dress. You offer him a hand up. 

“I can see why she likes you,” you tell him as the two of you make your way back inside. The instant heat upon walking through the door almost makes you wince. 

“Aw, nice,” he says, grinning. “Best friend stamp of approval.”

...

Keigo’s first stop, once he’s back in Japan, is a convenience store. The second is Enji Todoroki’s temporary, secret residence. 

It’s a small house, on the outskirts of a small city. Barely any thru-traffic on the streets. Most of the population is in their later years. No one recognizes Keigo as he trawls the street, looking for the discreet entrance. It’s hidden by a wall of laced kudzu vines. 

Enji is slow to answer the door. Keigo sent a text to say to expect him soon, but who knew if the other man saw it. He hasn’t been himself lately. 

When he finally opens the door with a grunt of surprise, Keigo just holds up his plastic bag in greeting. The outline of six tall boys is prominent. 

“I haven’t had alcohol in 20 years,” Enji says, his voice without inflection. Still, he takes the bag, leaving the door open in his wake for Keigo to shuffle in after him. 

The living arrangements are spartan. Hardly any furniture, and what comforts they offer is slim. Hard, cold surfaces. No throw cushions, or blankets, or pictures on the wall, or magazines bookmarked with old receipts. No sign of life at all, save for the single pair of shoes, tossed in a careless pile at the door.

The pair sit on the floor in the middle of what is probably the living room. There’s no furniture at all, here. The tatami is worn to softness beneath them, ages old. The combination makes everything feel stark, exposed. There’s a vulnerability to an empty house, no places to hide, no way to obscure yourself. 

They drink in relative silence. Keigo arrived in the late afternoon, and the day passes into night without obstruction. No one gets up to turn on the lights when the sunset fades into ashen stars, both of them content to sit there in the dark. 

It’s easier like this, almost a waking dream. Neither of them have been sleeping well, taking care of themselves. 

It’s been a long time since Keigo has drunk, too. Soberness was his default, an expectation of the job. Heroes don’t get days off, not really. There’s always the expectation that if some disaster should occur, they will be able to rise to the occasion. That doesn’t mesh well with substance use. 

Occasionally, Keigo will have a glass, to keep up appearances. But he can’t remember the last time he felt like this, tipsy, a mellow warmth settling beneath his cheeks.

Moonrise turns everything to shadow. Like this, tall, dark, and faceless, Enji finally speaks. 

“I wish I’d done things differently,” he admits. His voice is no longer booming, and proud. It’s quieter than Keigo has ever heard it. “I wish I could have seen that more than honor or strength, what they needed was… kindness.”

“It’s not too late,” Keigo says, but the words are empty. How would he know? He’s never had to consider these things before. Never had terrible, all-consuming regrets before. 

“In some ways,” Enji says. “Society would have you believe that amends are as simple as an apology,” he says. “But I will be paying for my mistakes for the rest of my life. And it still won’t fix everything. Some things are broken forever.” 

“That’s convenient for you, too,” Keigo says. He peers at Enji, eyes bright, intent. “In some ways.”

Enji peers back at him, expressionless.

“Now they’re tied to you forever, like you said,” Keigo explains. “You can’t fix things, but you can keep them.”

“That’s not my decision to make.”

Keigo’s response is quick, brusque. “Isn’t it?” 

He realizes he’s leaning forward, too tense, too defensive. This isn’t about what it’s about anymore. It’s not about anything, really. He sinks back into a relaxed posture, reestablishing his practiced nonchalance. He takes another sip of beer. His hand is trembling.

“No,” Enji says, simply. “It’s not.”

The pair fall back into silence. Enough has been said, for one night. 

...

Kirishima sends you home. 

It’s the last thing you’d expect, after taking several days off for the wedding. You come in early, ready to elbow through a backlog of work, only to find the floor already bustling with a small crowd of unfamiliar faces.

It’s about eight people, total. Some of them are heroes. You can tell from the way they’re dressed, the way they hold themselves. Kirishima is in the middle of them, more dour than you’ve ever seen him. 

He comes to you, when he spots you, skirting his way around the visitors to meet you at the door. 

“Ah.” He rubs the back of his neck, glancing back at the group he left behind. “Why don’t you head home for today? This is all kind of, uh. Not safe for you.” 

“Should I be…” you try to glance around him, get an appraisal of the situation, but he’s such a mountain of a man that he takes up nearly your entire field of vision. “Like, worried?”

“No,” Kirishima is quick to say. “No, everything is going to be fine. But this isn’t quite your area of expertise, and I don’t want you getting caught in the crossfire.”

He’s taken on his hero mien, shoulders back, a little more tense than usual. His tone is kind, but unmoveable. Leaves no room for arguments, or questions.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still a little unsure about all of this. “But you’ll let me know if you need help, right?”

Kirishima smiles at you, but not in a condescending, what would a small-fry like you be able to do, way, like any other hero might. His affection is so stalwart and genuine, his friendship so gentle. It only makes you worry all the more, for anytime that the goodness of Kirishima Eijiro might be at risk, that humanity might be deprived of him, for any moment, in any way. 

He holds out a fist, and you knock knuckles, shakily. “Promise,” he says. 

Then he pats you on the back, subtly steering you back to the elevator, away from whatever catastrophe he now has to face, alone. 

You have a vague idea of what all this might be about, but who knows what might have changed in the three days you’ve been away. The hero world moves at a breakneck pace, and it seems like you’ve fallen out of the loop. 

You think about the classified documents you’ve sorted through, the cases piled up on your harddrive. You’ve seen enough of past villainy to know that it’s not all stars and stripes and showing up at exactly the right moment. There’s a lot of accidents. A lot of almost made it, so close. Sometimes, the heroes just aren’t fast enough. Sometimes they make mistakes. 

It’s a job that risks more than one life. A burden on all fronts. If a hero dies, odds are many other lives get taken down with them. It’s why Kirishima wants you kept away from whatever is going on. The big bold word of the hour — casualty. Someone adjacently related to the incident, an unnecessary death. You’re not strong enough to protect yourself, not the way you’d need to, to exist in the same space as the heroes. Not enough to protect someone else.

Everything feels strange and uneasy. Like you’re teetering on the knife point of something huge. But you can’t fit all the puzzle pieces together, no matter how long you mull it over. It’s been like this for so long, you can’t trace back the origin of this foreboding feeling. Maybe you’ve always felt this way. You try to recall a time you’ve felt completely at ease, comfortable in your own skin, but you come up short, unable to pinpoint a moment, unable to figure out why not. 

You spend the rest of your day in PJs on the couch, eating icecream straight from the tub, fretting and fretting. Wondering when the anchorpoint of your life became fear. 

...

His next stop is the Commission HQ. 

No matter that he hasn’t slept in forty-nine hours. The Commission has already figured out that Keigo is in-country, and there’s work to be done. 

Firstly, he’s reprimanded. Loudly, and for a solid fifteen minutes. 

This is interrupted by a handler conspicuously walking right between him and the higher ups, and dragging him bodily out of the room. Keigo allows himself to be hauled away, waving as he goes. 

He’s asked to report on a number of missions he underwent while he was away. Provide details, recall key facts. He took diligent notes, but a lot of things require his own explanation, or follow up information. This takes up almost the entire day. Suddenly he regrets keeping so busy, over the past few weeks. 

It’s already late, late into the evening by the time he sets foot in his own agency. Things are quiet. There’s not much work to be done when Keigo himself is not around, so it’s unsurprising that most of the night workers have taken off. 

It’s nice to have a little privacy, even with another handler tailing him as he takes stock of the building. Nothing much has changed. Even his office is spotless. For some reason, he’d expected dust to have gathered in his absence, but of course the cleaning people would never let that happen. 

It’s almost like he hadn’t left, at all.

Exhausted, he intends to make one final stop at his locker before heading home. He just needs to grab another flight suit, dump his dirty ones in the hamper, to be cleaned. 

He’s still carrying around the bag he traveled with. He hadn’t taken much; his mode of transport doesn’t allow for heavy packing. He took the essentials, a few toiletries, a few flight suits, one spare change of civilian clothes. He dumps all of it in the bottom of his locker, to be sorted through when his bones feel less likely to melt out of his body altogether. 

He took one personal effect, and it stares at him from the top of the pile. The sweater he’d nabbed from your place. On nights he did sleep, he slept with it. Wrapped around him, or bunched up in his arms. It’s no longer soft, handled so much that the fibers had been worn to crimped bone. It had stopped smelling like you after the first week or so. Even with his heightened senses, eventually all traces of you were lost, the altitude and his own body overwhelming your scent. 

It was pointless to hold onto. It didn’t stave off the cravings, only made him remember all the times he had actually touched you, your skin, your hair. Felt your breath, or heard your voice. Dead weight, unnecessary baggage for his long trips. Still, he couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how many times he told himself he would leave it at whatever hotel he ended up in that night. Some mornings he would slip it on, pull it tight around himself, until he felt the constriction, until he thought the threads might snap under his grip. But the craftsmanship of it was impeccable, and it survived his rough treatment, and he would spend those mornings with the not-quite comfortable fabric wrapped around him, watching the sun rise miserably.

He shuts the locker door. Maybe this will be the end of it, now.  

He sends the handler home, assuring him that he’d be up and at ‘em at the crack of dawn tomorrow. The handler doesn’t look especially reassured, but there’s nothing to be done now, and he’s ready to call it quits himself.

Alone on the office floor, finally, Keigo takes a moment to just breathe. He closes his eyes for a moment. Tries to shut out all thoughts. They’d taught him to meditate as a child. He’d alway thought it a pointless endeavor, but now he kind of wishes he’d paid better attention, that he could simply will away his mind like turning off a light.

He barely has a minute to try. Someone clears their throat, asking for his attention. 

He turns to them with a smile. “What’s up?”

He recognizes the young man. A PA, hired a few years back. 

“Intel for you, Sir,” he says. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to wait until tomorrow to take a look.”

Keigo motions for the file in his hands, flipping through it as soon as he has it. No sense putting things off.

The PA explains, “The task force has discovered a list of addresses. Around half of them are the residence of record for established heroes. Another handful are homes that heroes have kept off the books. The one connection they all seem to have is that they are currently occupied by at least one civilian, as well.”

Keigo nods, peering at the list. 

The PA says, “Right now we’re operating under the assumption that these are a list of targets.” 

Keigo had assumed. With the momentum gained from Rei’s attack it would figure that the villain would keep going. Attention tends to spur on bigger and more intense feats.  

“Who else knows about this?” Keigo asks. 

“Only heroes assigned to the task-force, sir.” 

“No one from the Commission?” 

“The intel came to us from Deku’s agency,” he returns. “The Commission will receive the information as soon as Deku has convened with his people.” 

Keigo nods again, then returns his attention to the page. The first step would be to mobilize the people at these residencies, but how to do that without alerting the culprit would take some creative problem solving. The page is nearly full, numbers reaching toward the margins.

Still, despite the massive amount of work to come, this is a step in the right direction. 

He’s about to hand the file back to the handler and pay a visit to Deku’s agency himself when something catches his eye— 

Your building address, and next to it your unit number. You. 

He’s out the door and in the air in ten seconds, flat. 

...

The last thing you expect is to see on your impromptu day off is your door literally being cracked at the hinges.

The second to last thing is the man you haven’t heard from in weeks, pushing past you, stalking straight inside like he owns the place.

He looks… not great. He’s definitely lost some weight. There are horrible, dark circles under his eyes. His hair is a little longer than he prefers. He smells like how he always smells after taking double patrols, like sweat, and the city, and the sky. 

Has he been taking care of himself? Has anyone been looking after him?

“Get what you need,” he calls. “We’re leaving.”

He starts grabbing things himself. Your cardigan. The book you’re reading. Your sturdiest pair of shoes. His arms are full by the time you can work up the nerve to respond. Even then it sounds like more of a squeak. 

“Keigo?” 

He glances at you. He’s breathing hard. “Why aren’t you packing?”

“Because,” you sputter, “what the hell?” 

You reach for him. Then pull away. You take a step back, but you’re too unsteady on your feet to do anymore than that. Your legs might just give out, anyway. 

You’re reeling from his appearance, not able to make sense of any of it. Maybe you’re dreaming. But —

He’s standing right in front of you, the brightest thing in the room. If he were a little closer, you could feel his warmth. 

It’s been so long since you’ve seen him, it feels like you should have forgotten what he looks like. But it’s just the same as always, him in your space. Feels so right, even when everything is all turned around like this. Recognition, in its basest form.

He leans in toward you. Opens his mouth, about to say something. From this angle, oddly, he looks like he might be about to bite you, the subtlest hint of teeth, his breath still leaving him in heavy drags. Like a predator, all keyed up and ready. 

Like if you run, he’ll chase. 

You can hardly get the words out. “What’s happening?”

An expression crosses his features, a flash of emotion that’s gone in an instant. A tick of remorse, disconsolate. Then he’s back to his unshakeable, placid smoothness. 

“You’re not safe here,” he says. It’s a tone he’s never taken with you before. Stern, cool. 

You have a hundred more questions, but they’re like little dragon flies, flitting around your skull. You keep grasping for them, but missing. You can’t figure out what to say. You can’t figure out what’s happening. 

Then —

You taste it, before anything. A metallic twinge to the air, like an ink blot of blood, coins on your tongue. 

Suddenly, your center of balance is off. You’re falling, bracing, falling. But not falling, because Keigo has you in his arms, hauling you, painfully, in some direction. 

A noise you can feel in your bones, that makes you think your teeth might fall out from the force of it.

You’re airborne. You think you might vomit. The night is whip-cold but also brutally, violently hot. 

—Falling. Again. For real, this time. 

You feel the soft brush of grass. He’s pressing you into it. He’s shifting you on top of it, rolling you.

“Are we on fire?” you gasp.

“Not anymore,” he returns.

His hands are all over you, bracing, touching, searching. Your skin is oddly numb. You can’t quite tell which way is up, anymore. You can barely hear anything, the whole world muffled, static. 

Somewhere, in the dark you catch a glimpse of molten light, and the sluggish neurons of your brain struggle to the conclusion that your home used to be there. Everything that’s yours used to be there. Now lit up, glowing like a midnight sunrise. Blinding you. But you can’t look away. 

Keigo’s on you again. All around you. He has a better grip on you, now. Not painful anymore. 

Two flaps and you’re airborne again, clutching to him with all your meager strength. Being clutched in return.

The heat from the flames follows you up, licks into the sky, and you think you must still be burning, you have to be. 

But Keigo has a hold of you, so tight and visceral it swallows all your thoughts, all your fear, and eventually you make it far enough that the ash is distant, and the night swaddles you like a cool blanket. 

“You’re okay,” Keigo is whispering, lips against your crown, your temple. “I got you. I’m sorry. You’re okay.”

Distantly, you realize he’s been saying it this entire time. 

#hawks x reader #keigo x reader #takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #ok ok ok everybody be cool everybody stay calm #don’t be mean to me or I will do it again #coincide

[mad4turtles]

Do you happen to have any thoughts, shenanigans, or ideas about Usagi and Leo from the apocalypse timeline? 👀

Any… hare-y conflicts hAHA… I’ll see myself out. /lh

Oh, anon. This. This is lovely!

(And it was supposed to be a one-shot but I'm splitting it into two, why do I keep doing this?!)

---

In another time, Miyamoto Usagi isn't attacked by a band of hired muscle sent from Japan by Lord Hijiki. No blue-masked turtle with a daring grin and flashing blades comes flipping into the vacant alley of the Hidden City bazaar to change Usagi's life forever with a quip on his silver tongue and wink to the baffled samurai he'd come to rescue like a damsel.

In another time, the Krang rip open the sky and run the humans underground, mixing with mutant and yokai kind for the first time in centuries for safety and security.

In another time, Usagi's sensei, Katsuichi—his father—is torn to pieces by a horde of infected Yokai before him and his little sister, Hana, roaring at them to run and leave him behind.

“Protect your sister! Live, Miyamoto Usagi!”

In another time, The United Council are formed--a (very) tentative alliance between the Council of Heads and the remaining human leaders of the United States to establish order and a semblance of peace as the world caves in, forcing everyone further underground.

It doesn't last longer than a year. Society finally crumbles, splitting into colonies across the country.

In another time, the survivors of the fabled Hamato Clan rise from the ashes of their own tragedy to take the lead of the Liberty Colony. Not all are on board with this, least of all the remnants of the crumbling Earth Protection Force, most notably their leader, Bishop.

In another time, Usagi joins the ranks to fight alongside the honourable (if unconventional) ninja clan, fulfilling his master's final order and honouring his own late ancestors to fight for those who cannot.

(The blue-masked turtle jokingly calls him “carrot cake” once, and Usagi decides he hates him.

It spurs a rivalry between them, which has half the base rolling their eyes, caught between exhaustion and fondness as they bicker like children every chance they get.

The other half starts a betting poll on how long it'll be before they finally kiss, for god's sake.)

In another time, the Krang break through their first base, and Usagi falls, injured. The blue-masked turtle—Leonardo—saves him from the jaws of a Krang hound, all grace, muscle and deadly steel dipped in searing rage. Usagi, speechless for once, lets Leonardo carry him to safety and passes out in his arms.

(Later, waking up in the makeshift infirmary, his sister cuddled under his left arm, Leonardo dozing fitfully on his right, Usagi stares at the turtle's pinched, restless face and decides he owes him his life.

A friendship blooms like a tentative rose among the thorns of a crumbling world, scathing jeers morphing into teasing jabs and scrappy spars in the vacant training hall. Their friends and family watch on with tolerant grins and, in the case of Donatello, mild jealousy but begrudging acceptance.

Soon, the jabs turn into hip bumps in the hallways, mirroring grins during training, brushing shoulders during war meetings, twinging hands during blackouts and lockdowns, sharing beds on colder nights and whispering secrets after screaming nightmares.

The rosebud blooms full and bright weeks later with Leonardo's awkward smile, sweaty palms and a stammered question that Usagi, hopelessly fond, answers with a kiss.

Donatello wins everyone's money.)

In another time, Usagi fails. A recon mission goes awry, and in her second-ever mission, Hana gets infected.

On his knees, he watches in frozen horror as his little sister, barely ten years old, writhes and screams in terror and agony as the Krang infection takes over. She begs her big brother through tears to kill her, spare her from turning, from hurting him.

It feels like hours, years, an eternity, infinity. In reality, it's only seconds as he slices Willow Branch through her chest.

Leonardo is there in the aftermath, stopping Usagi from taking his blind grief and rage out on the corpse of the Krang that killed his sister, yanking him away and holding him until his roars and struggles ebb, until they're on their knees in the abandoned office complex, Usagi sobbing his heart out in Leonardo's chest.

The days pass in a blur, but Leonardo is there, unfailing, patient, kind, loyal and true, and Usagi decides he loves him.

(A year later, standing among the gore and gravel of a rare but hard-earned victory against a legion of Krang, Usagi seeks Leonardo out. A fair distance away atop a fallen Mech suit, he stands tall and strong despite his exhaustion, covered in blood that's not his own, glowing in the spotlights of Donatello's searching drones. In that moment, he is beautiful, and Usagi doesn't—can't, won't—wait a second longer.

“Leonardo!” he calls.

Immediately, his boyfriend turns to find him, meeting his eyes across the way. “Yeah?”

“Will you marry me?!”

“WHA—?!” he hears Donatello squawk through the comms. Around him, their squad starts laughing and whooping and swearing in shock. April is screaming, shaking or slapping the nearest person—judging by the cries of pain, it's probably Donnie.

Leonardo's eyes are comically huge, his jaw gaping. Heart hammering, Usagi doesn't take his eyes off him, and he's glad for it when the slider's shock turns into a gleaming, helplessly delighted grin.

“You asshole!” he cries through gasping laughter, tears leaving scars down his bloodied face. “You couldn't—are you for real right now?!”

“Is that a yes?!” Usagi asks.

“IT BETTER F%&CKING BE!” Michelangelo hollers from—somewhere on the battlefield; honestly, Usagi had lost track of him in the chaos. “I AIN'T LOSING NO MORE BETS!”

“Language!” Raph barks on comms.

“I'M TWENTY-ON YEARS OLD, YOU BITCHASS SNAPPER! I CAN SWEAR IF I WANT TO!”

Leonardo throws his head back with a cackle, a trembling hand over his streaming eyes as his family devolves into an argument. Usagi climbs and leaps the distance between them just as the turtle drops his hand and faces him, golden eyes brighter than they've been in years.

“You idiot,” he chokes, reaching for Usagi's hand and holding it tight enough to hurt. “Yes.”

April screams in delight with the rest of their squad. Donatello hollers as his sister shakes him senseless, Raphael sobs, and Michelangelo lets loose a stream of mystic fireworks right as Leonardo sweeps Usagi into a spinning hug. Breathless and giddy, Usagi wraps his arms around his boyfriend's—fiance, husband—broad shoulders and kisses him. Leonardo holds him closer and kisses him back.

I won't waste this life. I won't waste our time together, however long that may be. I won't let you go, Hamato Leonardo.

When they part, Leonardo makes a face even as he presses their foreheads together. “Couldn't wait 'till I had a shower?” he chuckles. “I'm literally covered in Krang blood.”

Usagi nuzzles his nose against his own. “Apologies. I couldn't help myself,” he says, running a hand down Leonardo's plastron with a grin. “You looked very sexy just now. In a ravaged, war-torn hero kind of way.”

“Oho,” Leonardo raises a brow, his new grin downright devilish in a way that sends a shiver down Usagi's spine. “Ravaged, eh? That's a funny word to use outside the—”

“I swear to god, Nardo, if the next word out of your mouth is 'bedroom', I am going to be physically ill ALL OVER YOUR FACE!” Donatello shouts through comms. 

That does it as Usagi collapses to his knees in laughter. He doesn't collect himself in time to avoid being whisked into a bridal carry by his fiance when the commotion (and mystic fireworks, Mikey) attracts more Krang in the distance. But he doesn't complain one bit.)

In another time, Leonardo and Usagi are twenty-two and married without a ceremony.

In another time, Hamato Usagi is happy even at the end of the world.

---

Stay tuned for part two <3

#rottmnt #my writing #leosagi #rottmnt fic #request #i love them your honor #tw sibling death

[eretzyisrael]

Jewish refugees are begrudged that little sliver of refuge called Israel

By bataween on 14 December 2023

With the rise of antisemitism, Jewish refugees from Iran who found refuge in the USA now worry that they might have to uproot themselves once again. Alex Abel tells one’s family’s story in Jew in the City:

Hebrew version of the 12th century Persian poet Nizami Ganjani’s “Khosrow va Shirin”.

In all this talk about the Jews “colonizing” Israel, so many don’t even know that Israel was the place Jews had to go to because they were kicked out of somewhere else. It wasn’t just a fun mission of conquering a land (which by the way is completely indigenous to the Jews), it was a place of refuge. For some, it was refuge after the Holocaust. For others, it was there when they were actually kicked out of all the other Arab lands around them.

Israel represents a little sliver of hope, freedom and simply existence for the Jewish people. That’s why it’s so infuriating that the world doesn’t even want to allow us that much.

Today, November 30, is the day the Israeli Knesset actually adopted as a national day of commemoration for the 850,000 Jewish refugees who were displaced from Arab countries and Iran in the 20th century.

Jews lived in Arab lands for thousands of years and many of their communities were actually there before the advent of Islam. In the 20th century, Arab nationalism rose around them and it was no longer safe to be a Jew in many of these places.

According to the Israeli government, “Arab states expropriated property of their native Jews, and denaturalized, expelled, arrested, tortured and murdered many of them.”

Ariel Homapour (who goes by Ariel Laurent now) knows this story well. His mother and father left Iran and Pakistan, respectively, after experiencing fear and oppression there. Ariel himself is the eldest child in his family and the first born outside of Iran in the last thousand years of his family’s history.

His father, Morris, left when he was just 16 years old in 1987. At that age, you could be drafted into the military in Pakistan. Laurent says they didn’t have time to actually train the teenagers taken into the army and even with that, would just take them straight to the frontlines right away and naturally, many were killed right away.

Ariel’s grandmother hid his father in an underground cellar for six months so he wouldn’t be drafted. After that, they paid someone who was driving a caravan to Iraq to smuggle him out (which was a common practice at the time). The first person they paid actually stole their money and left. The second worked out though and so Morris was driven covertly across the border.

Once they got there, they were getting shot at by the Islamic regime. He ran the rest of the way.

In Baghdad, there was no clean, running water. It was muddy, with worms coming out of it. He knew if he drank that water he would get very sick so lived off of Coca Cola for 5-6 weeks. From there, he took a flight to Vienna, Austria where he waited for a few months before he could get into the United States. He survived in Vienna by shoveling ice to make money.

When he got to America, he stayed with his uncle in Queens. He worked at a flea market selling random odds and ends and helped in the jewelry business. Eventually, he saved enough money to open a woman’s clothing store called High Image. It initially had just five to six items in the whole store. He grew this business to two different locations — in Brooklyn and Long Island that existed until right before Covid.

“He never really had a childhood,” Ariel shares. “He had to grow up really fast and always had to work hard. He never really had anybody to lean on. That’s the trauma of war, it’s really hard.”

Morris’s family in Iran owned many dry cleaning locations which were all pretty much taken away from them. The rest of his family stayed there until 2001 when they moved to Israel. It wasn’t until that year that Morris saw the rest of his family again — more than 20 years.

Ariel’s mother got to leave with her family, but didn’t know she was leaving for good until they never looked back.

They went to Israel from Iran to visit a sick relative but were planning to come back. Then, they didn’t. The revolution in Iran was getting so bad and being Jewish was such a fear, they decided to stay. They went back one time two years later to gather some of their personal belongings, but weren’t able to take all of it because so much had been seized by the government.

That was in 1978, when his mother was ten-years-old. She also demonstrated immense resilience amid the struggle to start over. In Israel, she was bullied because she couldn’t speak the language. When she was 12, in 1980, her family moved to America and she had to learn yet another new way to speak.

While the mountain felt almost too high to climb, she did it gracefully. She learned English, went to high school and college in America, grew to the top of her class and became a CPA.

His parents met each other when they were 26 at a wedding in New York.

Ariel’s parents made sure to keep their heritage alive in the next generation. Ariel and his two younger siblings speak Farsi. “They made sure I didn’t lose the Persian language,” he says. He grew up in Roslyn and didn’t learn English until he went to Kindergarten.

Now, his parents are having flashbacks to having to uproot their entire lives. With the rising antisemitism in the U.S., they’re scared. “They always say how much they sacrificed to get here,” he says. “It was always a land of refuge. It’s very traumatic for them with the rise of antisemitism.”

Read article in full

#Iranian Jews in US #Jewish refugees/Iran #Jews of Iran #Testimonies

[dreamsclock]

Rivals duo are young teens. Techno befriends a homeless, antisocial necromancer during a school trip (far, far away from home) and has to pretend that Dream has been apart of their class the whole time.

Hilarity ensues as his roommate Wilbur finds out and they have to keep hiding Dream from Sam, the teacher chaperone.

i have been laughing about this au for two weeks and will never get over it this is the funniest fucking idea in the world thank u sm for this ,, this is an au based off the dsmp characters, not their irl counterparts, just so anyone reading this knows!!!

warnings: trauma, mentions of torture + necromancy, child kidnapping, blood

“This is Dream,” Techno announces, holding a scruffy looking kid up by his collar and presenting him to Wilbur, “he’s fourteen like us, he’s homeless, he’s a necromancer, he’s wanted in fourteen different countries for unimaginable atrocities, and he’s gonna be stayin’ with us for a while.”

Dream hisses. Looking insulted, Wilbur promptly hisses back.

“Good first impressions.” Techno says, pleased that his twin and new roommate will be friends. “We are goin’ to have to hide him from Sam, though, so I need your help.”

Wilbur eyes Dream. “Can’t we keep him in a suitcase or box or something?” He asks. “If we bend a few limbs and stuff I think he’ll fit.”

“Tried already.” Nodding to the suitcase in shreds on their floor, Techno sets Dream down, who instantly shrinks into his hoodie, looking sulky. “Apparently he doesn’t like the dark.”

“So he’s a baby.”

“I’ll kill you,” Dream tells him, voice croaky, “being brought back to life is more painful even than torture.”

Looking unimpressed, Wilbur crosses his arms and scoffs. “And how would you know? You’re fourteen. I bet you’ve never been tortured.”

Murky green eyes meet dark brown, and Wilbur lights up in delight.

“Oh my god,” he says breathlessly, “you’re so cool. Tell me all about it while I cut your hair.”

Wilbur doesn’t warm up to many people, so Techno suppose he should count himself lucky here: his twin listens avidly to Dream’s evasive, twitchy descriptions of torture and resurrection, eyes wide in delight, and Techno swears he even takes notes. As he listens, he chops at Dream’s hair to a more acceptable length, and Techno takes the time to look for clothes that might match Dream’s clean appearance better: finding only his own spare shirt and pants, he offers them reluctantly to Dream, who stares at them blankly.

“Put these on,” Techno tells him, “you look like you’ve been dragged up and down a muddy road for a week.”

Dream blinks. “I was on a mission underground before this,” he says, solemnly, “for the Night Men.”

“…Riiiight,” Techno says, “the Night Men. I absolutely know who those are.”

Wilbur’s brow furrows. “I actually have heard that name before,” he tells them both, bemused, “who— oh. Oh.”

“What?” Techno demands, not liking the gleam in his twin’s eye one bit. “What’ve you remembered?”

Wilbur turns to him, grinning, before directing his attention to Dream.

“Tina,” he says simply.

Techno blinks. “Tina?”

“Tina?” Dream asks, something like recognition creeping into his voice. “You know Tina?”

“She goes to our school,” Wilbur grins, “she talks about the Night Men sometimes. She says her mum works for them. I thought she was just making stuff up, but she’s telling the truth, isn’t she?”

Techno looks back and forth between the pair of them, bemused.

“As much as I’m glad it seems we’re gonna have an extra pair of hands to keep you hidden from Sam,” he says, “I’m gonna have to ask who or what the Night Men are.”

“Oh. Simple.” Wilbur shrugs. “Just a group of highly trained assassins that find children with some sort of special abilities and kidnap them.”

Silence. Dream squirms.

Techno stares. “Huh?”

“They tried to kidnap Tommy!” Wilbur says gleefully. “And then they didn’t.”

Techno feels like he’s losing sanity by the minute. “Tommy,” he says, slowly, “like TommyInnit. Our brother.”

“Yeah.” Wilbur sits beside Dream and begins braiding his hair. Dream looks like he’s going to lean into the touch or start going crazy. “But then they realised his ‘special ability’ was less of a special ability and more just a human ability to piss people off, so they left him on our doorstep again the next week. Didn’t Dad ever tell you?”

Feeling remarkably left out, Techno scoffs. “Why would he tell you and not me?”

“Because I was almost taken by the Night Men,” Wilbur tells him, solemnly.

“HEH?!”

“Remember that weekend I showed up in Thailand?” His twin asks. “That was the Night Men.”

“Philza told me that was because you were on a school trip,” Techno complains, “he lied to me.”

“Didn’t wanna worry you,” Wilbur says airily, “I got back, after all.”

Techno struggles to comprehend what he’s being told. “So these... Night Men, have just been going round kidnappin’ my brothers left and right and I didn’t even know about it. Honestly, I’m kinda insulted they didn’t come for me.”

The silence that hangs in the air after his statement leaves him growing stunned.

“Well,” Wilbur clears his throat, “about that...”

“No.”

“You’re literally half pig.” Dream croaks out. “I remember you. That’s your special ability. What, did you think you were just an average human?”

“Honestly,” Techno says, at a loss for words, “I just thought it was puberty.”

“By the way,” Wilbur adds, cheery tone growing less enthused, “they’re probably going to be hunting Dream down. Which means by extension they’ll be hunting us down, too.”

Oh, great. Techno counts to ten and prays to the gods for patience.

“I say we sacrifice him and run,” Wilbur says wisely, and Techno groans when Dream scrambles to his feet in a panic.

“We’re not sacrificin’ him. That’s lame.”

A loud clatter comes from outside, and a boy with a gap-tooth and scar bounces into the room, grinning around, before his eyes settle on Dream, curiously. “Wilbur! Do you know you’ve got a weird little creature sitting in your room?”

“Quackity!” Wilbur beams. “Meet my new pet thing Dream. He’s on the run from shady magic assassins because he’s a necromancer. Wanna help us hide him?”

“Absolutely!” Quackity pokes Dream curiously. Dream has him pinned in a chokehold before Quackity can scream — which he does, repeatedly, until Wilbur drags them apart.

…This is going to be a long weekend, Techno thinks, and buries his head in his hands. The Night Men will be tracking them down, they need to keep a traumatised rabid teen away from their teacher, Sam, and they’ve only been in Spain for one week.

This is absolutely going to be a disaster.

#> my writing !! #> the night men au #tw trauma #tw torture #tw kidnapping #tw blood

[wisehq]

Mission Debrief: Chapter Forty-One

...Honestly, Yuri. Same.

Alright jokes aside, I know I'm about catch some flak for this, but- I'm cool with no Yor chapter this week. Yes, yes, kill the crow for even suggesting it. Get it out of your system. I'll wait.

Honestly though, we've had Yor chapters in the past. Not the kind we wanted (not dedicated chapters, aside from the whole cooking lesson at Camilla's house) but at least we know Yor and vaguely know her reasoning for her character. Yuri, on the other hand, is the neglected Briar. We know he works for the SSS and that he's a siscon, and...that's about it. Of the two siblings, Yuri desperately needed more character development. What we got this week was a hint of that; which I'll gladly take as it's more than we've gotten out of him in 40 chapters. Besides, his backstory is ultimately Yor's backstory, so in a sense we at least got something for her this week.

We got to see Yuri in action, and I'm glad he was portrayed as a dedicated and competent officer. One thing I appreciate about Endo is- when it comes to serious moments- he's very good about portraying his characters in a positive light. Such was the case this week; we see Yuri in multiple different roles within the SSS. He's in intelligence. He's in reconnaissance. He's out in the field. He's praised multiple times for his skill and perseverance, and honestly Yuri desperately needed it. Here he felt like an actual character, rather than a caricature. 

With the focus on Yuri, we also get a glimpse into the SSS. We were already vaguely aware of what they were all about; a secret police that protect Ostania and uphold its ideals through any means necessary, though here we get a better picture of what that looks like. They also go after propaganda under the guise of rooting out espionage (we'll take more on that later), and a majority of the chapter centers around this.

This idea of counter-propaganda becomes important later on in the chapter and highlights one of the key strengths of both the manga and Endo; there is no black and white in this story. Our protagonists, Loid and Yor, the people we care about, frequently kill people on a regular basis- yet they're good people. We know they are, despite their actions saying otherwise. Yuri, meanwhile, is cast in an antagonistic light in comparison to Loid- but again, we know he's only an SSS agent for the sake of his sister and country. Does that make him a good person then? Maybe, maybe not. But that question of what is the truth remains, and it's one of the things that makes this manga so compelling.

Endo showcases this with Franklin as the chapter progresses. At first we take him at face-value; he's a down-on-his-luck guy who needs money and sells damning photos to underground printing presses. Seems cut and dry, until of course we find out that Franklin is a man with ideals like any other. He loves his country, though this love takes a very different form than Yuri's. He loathes the current state of things and genuinely wants to see Ostania prosper, but at the same time feels broken and disenfranchised. This of course also stemming from the untimely demise of his late mother.

It's at this point the concept of nothing being black-and-white returns as the driving force behind Yuri's character development. We see him empathize with Franklin over the latter's mother's death. Yuri tackles his missions with seemingly robotic efficiency, but here he falters for a moment. He sees a piece of himself in this "traitorous scum", and then just as quickly tosses it away. It's not a substantial change in his character- he doesn't become a different person or anything, but he's different now. If only a little bit. If only in the sense that he acknowledges Franklin and his plight in a way that he didn't before.

We see this manifest when Yuri goes to arrest Franklin. Despite his usual sharp tongue, Yuri assures him he'll try to help his father out financially. In just a few pages, we see Yuri going from wanting to kill Franklin over his behavior to wanting to help him (albeit in a small way). At the end of the day he's still SSS. He still has a duty to fulfill, and at up until this point he's been fulfilling it for 3 days straight with no rest. So what does that leave him?

A pat on the back from the Director, and a promise for some steaks later. Here Yuri doesn't seem phased by the day's events, and proudly proclaims he'll catch Twilight someday (much to the director's amusement). He seems his usual self...but we see at the end of the chapter that may not be the case.

A quick pop-in to the Forger house, and Anya gets a glance into what he's gone through. Even without psychic powers, it doesn't take much for the family to figure out he's had a rough day. He gets some more pats, only this time they're from his sister. The only family he has left, putting him in an uncomfortably similar position to Franklin. The only difference between them, really, is as Yuri says earlier; he would never do anything to harm his family. Whereas Franklin would risk everything for his ideals, Yuri works hard to prevent that from every happening.

By being an SSS agent.

By being a Ostanian dog, and shaking down and arresting anyone who would speak out against the government.

By that logic, he should be the bad guy and Franklin should be the good guy...but in this story, there is no right and wrong. Not truly. Everyone has something they're trying to achieve or protect, and everyone has different ways of going about doing that. All it depends is on whose eyes your looking through. In this chapter Yuri is our protagonist, but what about the next one?

Guess we'll just have to wait and find out.

Also, BONUS

WHY IS THIS FAMILY SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL!?

#spy x family #chapter forty-one

[bipercabeth]

"i would have been there for you" with a dash of "you've changed" because i like throwing curve balls and think that has the potential to crack my sternum in half

(tw blood and injury)

The summer before the Titan War is the weirdest of Percy’s life. 

For most demigods that’s a given, but for Percy it’s kind of a feat. What could be weirder than the summer he defeated flesh eating birds with Dean Martin music and was later turned to a guinea pig? Or the one where he blew up his school before a not-date with a pretty girl and walked across the country in a day thanks to a sentient underground tunnel? But somehow, the summer where he and Annabeth aren’t together is the weirdest. 

Not together. Just not... together. She’s angry, so he gets angry and goes to Rachel, and she gets angry for him getting angry and going to Rachel, and he gets angry about her getting angry about him getting angry about her being angry. It’s a viscous cycle, but the times do come where they have to put it aside for the greater good. Preventing the upheaval of the gods can’t rest solely on the shoulders of two demigods dancing around their feelings for each other, right? 

Right?! 

They get called for a quest. The requirement to go to the Oracle to leave camp was thrown out the window a while ago, but so far most of the missions have been large groups or solo. But this information about river spirits came from Daedalus’s laptop, meaning it’s indisputably a Percy and Annabeth job. Chiron is reluctant to send them both, claiming it’s something Percy can do alone, but Annabeth fixes him with a champion glare and he caves.

Somehow they make it out in one piece with minimal offense to the river spirits, who promise to be allies should Kronos’s army march on camp again, which is all Percy is comfortable asking of them. Sounding the alarm is one thing, but it’s entirely too much to ask a nature spirit to waste their life force fighting back. 

The following happens too quickly for Percy to process. Something erupts from the trees as they leave the riverbank. Annabeth shoves him down and raises her dagger to shield him. The river spirit handles the creature. Annabeth stumbles and swears in pain. 

The impact with the forest floor steals Percy’s breath, leaving him in a daze while Annabeth disappears behind him. The creature bellows and explodes into dust before Percy ever makes out what it is. 

“You have to leave,” the river spirit calls. “They know you’re here. Take your friend and go!” 

Percy puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles while rising from the dirt. Annabeth is leaning against a tree a few feet away, breathing heavily and holding her arm funny. 

“What happened? Are you hurt?” He wants to run to her, to touch her. He doesn’t.

Her head falls back against the bark of the tree, where the light filtering through the leaves illuminates the sweat on her forehead. “I’m fine. Let’s get out of here.” 

Percy doesn’t buy it, but she has that stormy look in her eyes that tells him she isn’t budging. “Blackjack is on his way.” 

A heavy sigh escapes her as she nods, still clutching her left arm. Percy retrieves her dagger from the ground and offers it to her, but her eyes are screwed shut. It’s not like her to show pain like this. 

He looks at the holster on her leg. “I’m just gonna... uh...” He slides it into its sheath, taking every precaution not to touch her thigh and half expecting to get stabbed for it. 

Great gusts of wind batter the fragile limbs of the trees as Blackjack sails down to them, his wide wings beating rhythmically. His hooves strike the earth and he trots over to Percy. Where to, boss? 

“We gotta get back to camp,” Percy says, frowning at Annabeth. 

Lady boss ain’t looking too hot. 

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” he mumbles. 

Annabeth quirks an eyebrow at the two of them and rolls her eyes, walking to Blackjack with her nose in the air. She may not know what Blackjack said, but apparently that means it’s Percy’s fault. Everything seems to be Percy’s fault, these days. 

She attempts to haul herself up, but her arm gives out and she ends up crying in pain. Percy catches her despite knowing she’d rather fall than accept help from him. 

“I can do it myself,” she snaps, shouldering him away. 

“You don’t have to though.” Percy throws his hands in the air. “Plus, you’re injured.” 

Annabeth’s grip on her arm tightens. “This isn’t from today.” 

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

She glares at him. “It’s from a quest from a few weeks ago. It didn’t heal right, but the infirmary is full. I’ll get it checked out later.” 

“What quest?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“What quest did you get hurt on?” Anger rises in Percy’s chest, both at the thought of Annabeth getting injured and her keeping him in the dark about it. 

She attempts to shrug, then winces. “Does it matter? It’s over.” Her shot at a casual tone misses by miles. 

Percy tries to swallow the anger, he really does. “You’re hurt. That matters.” 

For a moment, she almost softens. The cold mask she’s plastered on cracks at the edges, revealing raw hurt. 

Uh, guys. Hate to break up this lovely argument, really, but we’ve got company. 

Blackjack is right. Pounding steps thunder along the opposite riverbank, rattling the leaves like a warning. Percy grabs Annabeth’s leg and hauls her onto the pegasus, trusting that she’ll do the rest herself. Usually he’d hop up first and ride in front, but he doesn’t trust her ability to hold on with that arm. 

Percy’s heartbeat doesn’t slow, not even once they’re in the sky with the riverbank far behind them. He’s almost certain Annabeth can feel it pressed against her. She leans back into Percy a bit heavier than necessary, occasionally jolting against his arms, which are around her to grip Blackjack’s mane. To say he’s freaking out would be an understatement. 

And then something drips from Annabeth’s bent elbow onto his arm. Percy balks when he sees it’s blood. 

“Fuck, Annabeth. You’re bleeding.” No response. “Annabeth??” 

Her head rolls on Percy’s shoulder. 

“Blackjack, hurry.” 

Blackjack doesn’t ask questions, just tucks his wings and dashes to camp. Percy can’t get his ambrosia without letting go of Annabeth, which simply isn’t in the cards. He wraps around her until his chest is sticky with their sweat. Sweat washes out. Losing Annabeth is a stain Percy could never scrub himself clean of. 

He doesn’t know what he says to her as they fly—probably some half-baked combination of you’re going to be okay, and we’re almost there, and if you survive this I swear I will kill you myself. 

Percy’s feet hit the ground a second after Blackjack’s hooves. They’re parked right on the porch of the Big House, interrupting a heated conversation between Chiron and Clarisse, who startle at the sight of Percy. Clarisse is the first to gather her wits. She moves to take Annabeth off Blackjack, which she is certainly the most qualified to do, but Percy beats her to it. 

“Jackson, you’re hurt,” she grunts, gesturing to his chest. “Let me.” 

“Not hurt,” Percy says. “Taking her to Michael.” 

Chiron’s tail swishes nervously. “Percy—”

“The river spirits are on our side,” he interrupts. “Now will one of you open the damn door?” 

Clarisse assists him through the doorways while Chiron goes to fetch Michael Yew from archery practice. If it weren’t Annabeth’s life on the line, Percy would feel bad for the guy. He hasn’t slept since Lee died last summer, especially not with the way the infirmary is looking. 

Chiron and Clarisse hover alongside Percy while Michael works his magic, sending up a healing hymn to his father after dressing the wound. He scolds Annabeth the moment she wakes, chastising her for not telling him sooner. After a glance at Chiron, he orders her bed rest for a week. 

“No. I have another mission in three days.” She looks at Clarisse. “You can’t do it without me.” 

Clarisse almost smiles at Annabeth’s petulance. “I’ll take Malcolm. Or maybe even Pipsqueak here.” She claps Percy on the back.

Annabeth’s tone turns pleading. “Chiron...” 

She finds the same unbending will. “No, child. This has gone too far. You’re to stay here until Michael releases you.” 

Michael looks less than thrilled to be subjected to Annabeth’s wrath for the next week. “Okay, Percy. Your turn.” 

“I’m not hurt.” 

Everyone’s eyes flash to Percy’s chest in doubt. He tears his gaze away from Annabeth to look.

Blood—Annabeth’s blood—runs down his shirt from the ride over. From an outside perspective, it looks like Percy’s very heart is bleeding out of his chest. 

She won’t look at him when he raises his gaze, so he supposes it is. 

“Blood’s not mine,” he mumbles. 

The room clears shortly after. 

Percy, however, is rooted to the floor beside Annabeth’s bed. She looks exhausted, though he can tell she’s trying to hide it while he’s still here. He should leave. So she can sleep. 

He can’t. 

“I would have been there for you,” he says, “if you told me.”

She almost laughs. What escapes is a bitter sound that’s foreign in her mouth. “Yeah, well. You’ve changed.” 

It’s a defensive lie, and they both know it. Percy has changed, but not to that degree. He will stop at nothing to pull his friends out of the water, even if it means drowning himself. Such is the way of a loyal creature. 

His voice is low in his chest, hurt resonating in his heart. “You know that’s not true.” 

Annabeth raises her chin. “Do I?” When have you been around to prove it? 

Michael pokes his head in the room, looking very much like he’d rather be anywhere else. “Percy, Chiron wants to talk to you about the river spirits.” 

The silence is saturated, filled with blood just like the cotton of Percy’s shirt. “Sure. I’ll be out in a second.” 

Michael shifts his weight, creaking the floorboards. “I’m afraid it can’t wait.” 

When Percy looks back at Annabeth, her eyes are closed. The rigidity of her jaw gives her away, but Percy knows a sign when he sees one. So he leaves. 

#this is way more painful than the beginning makes it sound lmao #drabbles #my fic #my percabeth #pjo fics #jersey tag #iris messages #jerseydevious

[the-writing-mill]

assassin au with the "making a deal to save the other" and jangobi?

Okay, this one’s actually even a bit longer than the other one, so it’s going under a read more lol

Jango is a merc/bounty hunter/assassin guy, Obi-Wan is an information broker with an editing cover job and a “rental property” to embezzle money

These two have never met, and have no idea about each other’s identities beyond knowing their underground reputations, until Jango is hired to assassinate Obi-Wan’s little brother, Anakin

Obi-Wan is visiting Anakin for the weekend on the day of the planned assassination, and notices things are a little off, setting off all of his learned criminal world/underground alarms

(Anakin, btw, is a part time mechanic, part time engineering student. Obi-Wan has very carefully kept the boy out of his world since becoming Anakin’s official guardian after their adoptive father, Qui-Gon Jinn, died in an accident)

Obi-Wan gets paranoid enough after spending an evening with Anakin that he fakes a pillow body in the guest room and sets himself up in the living room to guard

This is somewhat fortunate for him when an apparent burglar (who moves much too professionally and dangerously) breaks in through a window near silently

Jango barely has half a second of realizing something’s up before being side tackled

The fight is pretty intense, if odd for being so quiet, since they both coincidentally don’t want Anakin to wake up (at some point Obi-Wan manages to get Jango’s ski mask off)

In the end, Obi-Wan ends up pinned under Jango, hands restrained above his head, knife against his throat, straddled

Jango grumbles sardonically about how Obi-Wan couldn’t make Jango’s job easier and just sleep through the night and call the police in the morning, tipping Obi-Wan off to the man being there for Anakin instead of him

Obi-Wan is, of course, a self-sacrificing idiot and gets Jango’s attention by wondering out loud about what a small-time mechanic going through school could have done to get a high-level assassin sent after him

(Jango’s plan, as Obi-Wan has figured out, was to stage a break in/burglary and wake Anakin up and kill him in the resulting “fight” to make it look like the burglar had killed Anakin in the heat of the moment)

With the man under him clearly having figured out too much, Jango decides he’ll have to kill him too, but first thinks it’s worth learning what gave him away

There’s a bit of back and forth until Obi-Wan is able to piece together who exactly Jango is (should his assassin name be Mythosaur? I think that would be fun and the “myth” bit can refer to his work being so subtle and Jango being such an unknown outside of his assassin rep)

Now, someone figuring out exactly who Jango is an even bigger no-no, so Jango goes right for the kill

Jango doesn’t manage to kill Obi-Wan before Obi-Wan offers a deal (didn’t think I’d take “making a deal to save the other” this way, did you?)

Jango’s pressing a blade into Obi-Wan’s neck enough to draw blood but finds himself intrigued enough to let the man talk for another few seconds (Obi-Wan really is quite the negotiator)

Obi-Wan offers free information for life, basically, and to be support for a set number of missions a year. In exchange, Jango won’t kill Anakin and will let Obi-Wan find Jango’s client and kill the client to nullify the contract (and prevent Jango’s rep from being tarnished)

It’s an utterly absurd proposal but also clearly made with knowledge of the underground, so Jango of course asks who Obi-Wan thinks he is to make that kind of offer

Jango finds himself reluctantly impressed by Obi-Wan’s identity (I have no idea what his underworld identity is, but I don’t it to be “The Negotiator”) and finds himself considering the deal, which Obi-Wan catches onto and he manages to convince Jango

(Part of the final deal includes the fact that Jango technically has two more months per his contract to carry out the hit. If Obi-Wan can’t find the client by then, Jango will kill Anakin anyways. Obi-Wan is desperately confident that he can do it, despite Jango having basically zero info beyond the contract and a clearly shell company in Hong Kong to wire the money to)

Jango gets Obi-Wan to give him a glut of information over the next few weeks, to the point of them spending a few hours in a private booth/room in a very private club so Obi-Wan can safely give it all to him. Obi-Wan is both desperate to meet expectations and tries his best; and is also very annoyed at getting pulled away from hunting down who’s trying to kill Anakin and therefore sasses Jango quite a bit.

Obi-Wan is really having trouble figuring out who wants to kill Anakin, finally giving in and starting from the other end, Anakin himself. Why would someone want to kill Anakin? Specifically why would the sort of person who can find and hire Jango want to kill Anakin? This is in some ways even harder to figure out, but Obi-Wan has many more leads and information to access

After a few weeks of this dynamic, the first change is when Jango and Obi-Wan end up complaining about a mutual acquaintance during an info drop off, which leads to more mutual bitching

Then Jango drags Obi-Wan across the country (we’re just going to assume we were in like… NYC or Chicago before) to assist him in another assassination in LA

Obi-Wan is somewhat tempted to get Jango caught, since that would be an easy way to save Anakin, but decides against it for multiple reasons (including a few that he will not yet acknowledge, including developing fondness for Jango and, even worse, the first few seeds of trust)

So instead of going to prison, Jango returns from a smooth assassination to an already half-drunk Obi-Wan, shirt very scandalously unbuttoned halfway down

The have a nice night of just drinking and relaxing and then wake up the next morning curled around each other in bed (they didn’t have sex, as the lack of certain types of soreness and their clean, still on, pants from the night before prove. But they still have the knowledge and a few sensations of sleeping together with their guards down)

When they get back, things are a little awkward, but it’s fine, they’re professionals, so they’ll keep meeting to keep up their deal. Obi-Wan keeps giving Jango any info he wants, and they keep accidentally falling back into their habits of doing things like complaining about mutual acquaintances who annoy them

Obi-Wan is also making some headway with investigating who wants to kill Anakin, finding many questionable decisions on Anakin’s part, especially regarding friends/social circle, but not anyone who would be able to hire Jango that would dislike Anakin

With about a week and a half left, and leads running out, Obi-Wan starts to freak out a little, which Jango notices, which in turn makes Jango realize that he doesn’t like Obi-Wan being stressed out and afraid and tense and looking at Jango like he’s a cat about to pounce on a wounded canary

But Jango also puts work before all else so when he has another job (coincidentally in the same city), Jango drags Obi-Wan with him, unfortunately making the mistake to literally bring Obi-Wan with him

When Jango starts cursing about the job going to hell part way through a shoot-out, Obi-Wan casually comments that it’s not even that bad, prompting a sass battle between the two of them while they’re still fighting their actual opponents where Jango realizes that Obi-Wan, as brilliant as he is, has the worst on-the-ground luck ever

In the end, they win, with a very damaged, limping vehicle that they, for handwavey reasons, need to get to some spot that the car won’t make it to as is. Thus, they have to go slide into the mechanic shop Anakin’s working the graveyard shift for

Obi-Wan really does hate, in many ways, finally having his two worlds collide, bringing Jango and the shot-out car directly to Anakin, and is almost distracted from how bad he feels about it when Jango tries to comfort him

Jango is, thankfully, a very good actor, and Anakin is a bit oblivious. He very easily starts clumsily probing Jango about what Obi-Wan and Jango quickly figure out Anakin thinks is a romantic relationship between them (and, to be fair, Obi-Wan has been acting strange, and spending much more time “with a friend” in the past two months or so)

At some point, Obi-Wan gets so uncomfortable with the idea that he and Jango are in a romantic relationship that he makes what is, to him and Jango, a mistake, and draws attention to the bullet holes again

Jango vaguely looks like he wants to kill Obi-Wan while Anakin casually explains it’s not that big of a deal, although he might have to find a better patch if this sort of thing keeps happening

This stops any murder plans Jango was making, and any counter plans Obi-Wan was making in favor of carefully probing Anakin to figure out when else he had fixed a bullet ridden car

Anakin reveals pretty easily that his engineering school’s dean, Sidney Palpatine (Sidney=Sid-=Sidious lol) had dropped in about two and a half months ago with a car in similar condition. As well as a few other people that Anakin describes well enough for Jango and Obi-Wan to identify as members of a local crime organization and a private army (like Blackwater/Academi), as well as mention a weird package in the trunk

This is clearly the who and why for Jango getting hired to assassinate Anakin, but they both play it cool until Anakin’s done and they can go on their way to drop off the vehicle

Cue Obi-Wan having a panic attack, which freaks Jango out quite a bit, since he’s so used to Obi-Wan being very calm and controlled and not showing vulnerability. Obi-Wan even gets outwardly angry

Cue Jango’s “oh. Oh.” moment

Jango basically drags a near catatonic Obi-Wan back to the apartment he’s been staying in and drugs him to sleep (in Jango’s mind, if Obi-Wan was too out of it to notice a drugged drink, then he clearly had no more business staying awake)

By the time Obi-Wan wakes up and starts panicking, less than yesterday (thanks to a good night’s sleep), Jango has some basic information on the legal and illegal lives of Palpatine, and a few half-formed assassination plans

Jango also has toast. Which he makes Obi-Wan eat. Obi-Wan grumps about not having been forced to eat breakfast since he was a teen. Cue a small sassy back and forth that further calms Obi-Wan down

Jango offers to kill Palpatine for free, which startles Obi-Wan because that is not how the criminal underworld works. Jango half-heartedly puts forth some logic about how Obi-Wan succeeding with their deal means that Jango gets to keep the best information broker on his side. Obi-Wan can tell that that isn’t all, and recognizes that Jango is probably being kind, but won’t outright admit it

They eventually decide on a plan where Anakin will bring Obi-Wan with him to go visit dean Palpatine who he’s friends with, and that Obi-Wan will bring some poisoned tea in a travel to mug to share. Anakin will refuse the tea, being Anakin, and Obi-Wan and Palpatine will both drink the poison. Obi-Wan will have the antidote (either disguised as something innocuous or to be taken during a bathroom break) and cure himself before there are any symptoms, leaving Palpatine to die of what will look like a natural heart attack

The plan goes awry, due to Kenobi luck, when Anakin accidentally has them barge in while Palpatine is meeting with another criminal. Cue a fight in the office, a secret passage, and more criminals to fight while Jango scrambles to get to the new location to help

Obi-Wan manages to actually word his way into delaying their defeats and deaths until Jango gets there. Jango manages to take out about half of the enemies before he gets defeated/captured as well

At this point Obi-Wan tries to make a deal again, to save Anakin and Jango. It seems to work/Palpatine seems interested, only for him to pull the rug out and basically say he’ll be either killing all three or making them wish they were dead, including some conjecture about Obi-Wan’s looks (aka sexual slavery)

Cue Jango getting incensed enough to break free again and start fighting again. He gets to Obi-Wan, frees him, and thus ensues a battle couple take down from the cheesiest of action flicks

In the end, Palpatine is the last one standing. Before either of them (or Anakin, who is beginning to get over his shock) can kill Palpatine, he runs away. Jango, Obi-Wan, and a confused Anakin give chase, stopping at the end of an alley as they realize that Palpatine has been hit by a bus

Jango and Obi-Wan drag Anakin through a convoluted path back to Obi-Wan’s apartment and confirm that, yes, Palpatine died. Jango and Obi-Wan quickly confirm that there’s nothing linking them to the crime scene (Palpatine had told his secretary that Anakin and Obi-Wan had left out the back when he realized he was going to have to kill them, giving them an alibi)

Obi-Wan and Jango tell Anakin a mostly true story and prod Anakin to decide to go back to [insert some place here] and live with some half-distant bio relatives (the Lars family), maybe finish his degree online

Cut to a few months later, Obi-Wan is reading an update text from Anakin before Jango comes into the room. Obi-Wan gives him a good luck kiss before sending Jango out to his job, reminding him that “I’ve always got your back”, Jango responds in kind, Obi-Wan accepts this/informs Jango that he knows before letting Jango drag him into another kiss

#assassin deals AU #Kenfetti #Jangoobi #Jangobi #Obijango #asks #ask meme thing #Anonymous

[maxburnett]

Okay babes so uh which fic would y'all like next?

Tagging:

@buppybucky @buckyswillow @honeyloverogers @fuckandfluff @bitchassbucky @fairyevans @stcrrynightsinneverlcnd @balenciagabucky @buckycuddlebuddy @babyboibucky @bibbidibobbidibucky @mickey-henry @buckyblues @bloomingbucky @fluffycutecevans @buckyhoney @midnightf @buckys-blue-eyes @holdontorogers @lokiscollar @faeryloki @bucksfucks and anyone else that would like to chime in ♥ thank you so much love you guys *muah*

1: Angst AU, Reader, Mickey Henry:

Mickey has been struggling with drug use and drinking for years. What happens when he falls deeply in love with his sponsor, someone who says love isn't real?

2: SoulMate AU Series/One-Shot Reader, The Winter Soldier, Civil War Bucky, and Civil War Steve

The reader is an ex-super soldier and telepathic who was kept by hydra for years to help brainwash other super soldiers. They gave her another serum (kinda like sex pollen?) to try to get her to mate with The Winter Soldier, but it awakens something inside her that has been hidden since she was first taken as a child by Russian Scientists who wanted to study her brain. A melody playing in her head beautifully whenever she is around the feared assassin in front of her. What she doesn't know is that he hears the same song, and if either of you is ever in pain the saddest version of the song will play with what sounds like screams weaved into the melody. The sex between the two of them isn't what the trainers expected and they feel like their plans on mating two super soldiers to see if a baby with the serum could be born has failed. However, the reader can somehow tell she is pregnant (through telepathic thoughts?) and she confides in The Winter Soldier as they're in bed and he helps her escape. She escapes and gives birth to a baby whom she gives to a family that took care of her. She carries around a picture of the baby, but she has no memory of how the baby was made or who the father is.

Fast forward and she is now working as an assassin, during her latest mission she is trapped under rubbage from a building that a bomb had blown up in and she's certain she's going to die until she hears a voice calling "over here" and a blonde-haired blue-eyed man is pulling her to safety. Steve Rogers had saved her after he felt some unknown force pulling him to the area where she was and she quickly finds out that soulmates can definitely come in twos.

3: College Roommates AU Reader, Bucky, Steve:

To save on money during College you decide to room with your childhood friends, Bucky and Steve. You've been enduring flirting with them for years, but you're oblivious to their feelings; until one night you come home early from a night you were supposed to be getting some action and the boys are more than willing to help.

4: Angst Fic Reader, TFATWS Bucky:

Reader and Bucky are both trying to adjust post blip. Reader lost her boyfriend pre-blip and had a miscarriage due to the blip, Bucky of course lost Steve and is trying to get used to his therapy sessions. What he doesn't know is that it's the reader that is his saving grace.

5: Kindergarten/Pre-School Teacher Bucky, Reader:

Bucky is either a Pre-School or a Kindergarten teacher and his favorite student who likes to question him all the time about his arm, mom's late so he sits with them until she gets there. She's a nurse and the kid wants to try to play matchmaker.

6: Underground Super Soldier Fight Club AU: Reader, Bucky, (Either a dark Steve), or John Walker:

Bucky runs an underground fight club and the reader is a super-soldier who wants to fight. He doesn't think she has what it takes until she shows him that she can even stand her own against him. After their fights, they're always fucking. Then enter the protagonist (Dark!Steve or John Walker) who is an asshole and wants to take on the reader. Protective!Bucky.

7: True Blood CrossOver, Reader x Bucky Barnes:

Bucky is a vampire and he is in love with the reader.

8: Prison Fic: Reader, PrisonBucky, Andy Barber:

Bucky is locked up and awaiting his final trial (for what? I haven't figured out yet. Give me ideas lol) He asked his long-time friend and his lawyer, Andy Barber to watch over his girl and to take care of her. Of course, they begin fucking and the reader thinks that Bucky's going to be pissed and then he just says "did he make you feel good doll? has he been taking care of you?" After all he asked him to take care of her after all. When Bucky's trial is going on, Andy brings the reader to a hotel room where he has Bucky (with the consent of the police) and the three of them sleep together.

9: FBI Agents Fic Chris (Destroyer), Reader:

Chris and the reader are partners who have been sexually pining for the other for years. Finally, on a long and boring stakeout mission, mutual feelings and confessions make for some steamy windows.

10: Coffee Shop AU, Reader, BikerBucky:

Where big BeefyBikerBucky falls for the quiet beautiful woman who runs the coffee shop where he likes to order his coffee from, he's not a big coffee drinker and really only comes in to see her.

11: College AU, Featuring CamBoy Bucky as the sexy librarian who you're always staring at:

Bucky in a tight suit and glasses, licking his lips as he looks over at you reading a book about poetry either of you know that you've been getting off to each other for months.

12: College AU, Tutoring Frat Boys Bucky, and Steve:

Tutoring the two best friends and extremely good-looking frat boys has many cons, but man is the pros worth it.

13: Regular Customer AU, Reader, Steve:

Steve orders his order but the cute reader waitress knows it by heart. When she goes to his table to collect his plates, he left his number on a napkin along with a huge tip.

14: Reader, Nomad Steve Angst Fic:

You're Bucky's ex and Steve's there for you to help you pick up the broken pieces following the blip.

15: Vacation AU, Mickey Henry, Reader:

You spend a couple of weeks in California and you and the hot DJ you meet playing at a show on the beach make the best of your time together.

16: Bartender AU, Frank (Ending Beginnings), Reader:

You're at a bar trying to drink away the fact that you just got cheated on and the bartender lets you stay after closing to let you rant to him about your shitty boyfriend.

17: HurtComfort, Chris (Destroyer), Reader:

Chris is hurt during a drug bust and you want to play his sexy nurse

18: Dad's Best Friend or Mom's Best Friend AU, Bucky, Reader:

Bucky agrees to drive you across the country so you can see a concert for your 21st birthday. What your mom or dad doesn't know that he's the friend that you're "going to meet" there. You admitted to him that you're tired of running around, even though something tells you that your mom or dad wouldn't even care if you were to choose to date him openly.

#nic's wips

[vennilavee]

ONE SHOTS MASTERLIST

a compilation of my one shots.

most recent update: the warm vortex 

[main masterlist]

bucky barnes  ☼☼☼

the greatest change:  Benders and non-benders have lived in harmony for the past hundreds of years, or so everyone thinks.  but is harmony just a word to quell the masses?  

magnetized: it’s finals week, ft you and bucky.

the countdown: You and bucky have a small fight before a mission during the holidays and you’re both irked at each other.

oxytocin:  Touches that may or may not lead to something more. Written with the prompt ‘the feel of leather’.

sunflower: supernatural beings have roamed the earth in tandem with humans since the beginning of time. what happens when you’re turned into a vampire? written with the prompt ‘leo minor’.

bordersz: Like the water that you control, you ebb and flow. Sometimes you drift away, other times- well, other times you find yourself close to your anchor. written for the prompt ‘BoRdErsZ’ by zayn.

until morning: based on the prompt: “I’m going to my bed” “That’s the bathroom.”

opia: opia: the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable. Some moments detailing your life as an underground boxer, with the Avengers thrown into the mix. Muslim reader

hands all over: With summer in full swing, your eczema is out to play.

the morning after: Your eczema flares up in the middle of the night.

these days: You and Bucky have broken up. Bucky can’t imagine a life without you. Until one day, he does.

jealous: Bucky gets jealous, and he feels a little hellish.

rouge: You’ve convinced yourself that you don’t blush. At least not visibly. Bucky Barnes proves you wrong, as always.

brown eyes: Bucky Barnes wants to spend every second telling you what your brown eyes remind him of.

slow hands: She has eczema and just wishes her hands would stop itching.

Every Step, Every Way

part i: Bucky comes home to you a little worse for wear and you do your best.

part ii

DRABBLES

vines - You’re not feeling so great and Bucky understands.

binded - Our muses getting frisky in the dark.

sam wilson ☾☾☾

flight of the stars: several points in time of your relationship with Sam, plus or minus a few of his friends.

effortless: based on the prompt: “I’ll be right back” kisses: A puts their hands on B’s shoulders from behind them, where they are sat on the couch. He leans down and around, while B turns his head a little, accepting the quick peck.

fresh eyes: You’re a pharmacist in one of the busiest pharmacies in Brooklyn. When some of the Avengers start picking up their medications from your pharmacy, you know life is about to get infinitely more interesting.

between a rock and a tea leaf: Your tea shop, the Red Ruby Dragon, has been a staple in Ba Sing Se’s middle ring for several years now. When Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, two of the world’s most established metalbenders walk into your shop, you know that your world is about to change. Along with the whispers of the corrupt Dai Li and general unrest of the city and it’s citizens, change is inevitable. 

DRABBLES:

husky/radio:  husky. my muse reacting to your whispering in their air from behind//radio. our muses getting handsy in the car.

bubblegum: you’re always chewing bubblegum and sam hates it.

carol danvers ✴✴✴

buffet: my muses spreading their legs for yours

tulips: you and carol take your time with each other (smut)

steve rogers ✴✴✴

rear view: Steve’s been gone for about two years, and you’re left to pick up the pieces.

between a rock and a tea leaf: Your tea shop, the Red Ruby Dragon, has been a staple in Ba Sing Se’s middle ring for several years now. When Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, two of the world’s most established metalbenders walk into your shop, you know that your world is about to change. Along with the whispers of the corrupt Dai Li and general unrest of the city and it’s citizens, change is inevitable.

avengers ☼☼☼

the warm vortex: you’ve had high functioning depression for as long as you can remember. sometimes you can manage it, and sometimes it’s extremely difficult. you’re finding it hard to reel yourself in and you’re spiraling, but luckily you have some pretty great friends to help.

lance tucker

love galore: lance is across the country in the days leading up to the holidays. will he make it back in time? or will bad luck strike?

from where you are: a glimpse into a saturday morning with you and lance

drown the lovers: alcohol, shenanigans, lance and you.

drown the lovers part ii

lost in japan: Lance is away at the Olympics and you feel his absence.

hurts to look: You wonder if all the different shades of you are too much for Lance.

keep calm: You and Lance have a fight.

don’t choose: Lance goes out with his friends, but you miss him.

#one shots masterlist

[treh-co]

FAHC Headcanons

So I feel like a good amount of my hcs are a lot different than other people’s??? And I’ve done a LOT of thinking abt them so! Here’s kind of like a masterlist of my general hcs! I’m just gonna go through this person-by-person.

(This got Kinda Long, so it’s under a read more. Sorry mobile users,)

Geoff

Obviously, he’s the one who started The Fakes. Basically, he went into the military after high school, came back and was like “Damn. Hated that” and then some old friends are like “Hey wanna do crime” and he was like “Fuck it”. That ended up being the beginning of The Roosters, which would grow to become the most powerful crime syndicate in Los Santos.

However, when they started shifting more towards managing the organizations they controlled, Geoff felt like he was missing the hands-on action. With the others’ blessing, he branched out to create his own gang under the syndicate, which would be the Fakes.

Geoff was the acting boss, supervisor, and manager of the Fakes for many years, while still juggling responsibilities with the Roosters. After a while, he felt the stress of it all begin to weigh on him, so he decided to pass some of it off. He made Trevor the acting supervisor of the crew’s regular business, while he handed management of behind-the-scenes matters to Lindsay. He’s still technically the boss, though, and any Big decisions go through him.

Jack

Jack actually met Geoff when they were in the military together. While he was a journalist, she was a pilot, and while she’d always been a sort of straight-laced, innocent kid growing up, she discovered that she actually loved flying. More than that, she loved the excitement of a chase or a gunfight. When she got back, she found herself bored.

That was around when Geoff called her up with an offer- one that not only allowed her to get back in the cockpit, but promised twice the action way more money than she ever got in the military. Of course, she said yes.

Jack’s main role in the crew is transport and evac. She can fly or drive anything, from a city bus to speedboat to a cargobob. Unofficially, she’s a sort of second-in-command for Geoff. He usually discusses any business stuff with her before making decisions. She’s also probably the most capable medic in the main crew, though she’s not an expert, and will pass off the responsibility if they have access to someone more formally trained.

Gavin

I imagine Gavin comes from a criminal family. Nothing exciting; standard white-collar stuff, embezzlement and fraud. They were substantially wealthy from their exploits and sent him to private school and all that, but Gavin found it all horribly boring. By the time he reached high school, he was experimenting with every type of low-level crime he could think of; theft and vandalism, all that shit.

Eventually, his habit of making enemies got him in over his head, and eventually he found himself in serious hot water. Out of options, he forged some papers and got a flight out of Britain. He’d far from learnt his lesson, though. He didn’t plan on cleaning up his act, and he decided to hide in plain sight, in the most crime-infested city America had to offer- Los Santos.

That was where he met Geoff. He was working odd jobs around the city, still new to America (and, though he’d never admit it, pretty lost and scared- he’s only sixteen). He gets hired by some asshole to take out Geoff, and he isn’t familiar enough with the scene to know better, so he goes for it. When Geoff has the knife out of his hands and a gun pointed at his head in less than two seconds, he’s pretty sure he’s fucked- but Geoff doesn’t shoot. Because fuck, how the hell is he supposed to take out this scrawny, terrified kid? So he talks to him instead, and when he finds out that Gavin has no loyalties to the guy that hired him and has a much broader skill set than Geoff would have expected, he decides to take him in.

As for my take on The Golden Boy- I personally don’t see Gavin as a hacker, and tbh I personally Cannot picture him suave enough to be some smooth-talking informant. In my mind, he’s sort of the crew’s everyman. He does a little bit of everything- stealth, dealing, hacking, fighting- he isn’t really an expert at any of it, but if you need something done, he probably knows enough to help. 

Michael

Michael was raised in New Jersey with his brothers. His life was fairly normal, to be honest. He got a gig as an electrician, and it sucked, but he was doing okay. And then his mom got sick, and things started falling apart. Long story short, he ended up turning to more unsavory ways to get the money she needed for her treatment. He found out that he was pretty good at making bombs, and even better at cracking skulls. 

Michael only ever dipped into those practices to help his mom, but once you go in, it’s pretty hard to get out. He was running with a gang in New Jersey for a long time, until one day, their leader sold them out to the cops. He and some friends ran away to Los Santos, but still got caught, and suddenly he was locked up in a LS prison.

It was in prison that he met this guy named Gavin. After bonding through some good old fashioned prison fighting and saving each other’s asses, Gavin told him that he’s part of a powerful gang that was planning on breaking him out. He said that he needed help with the prep work they  needed done on from the inside, and if Michael helped him, they’d break him out with Gavin. Against every instinct, Michael agreed, and they broke out together. After they got out, Geoff decided to offer Michael a job- partly because he was impressed with him, and partly because Gavin wouldn’t stop whining until he did.

Michael is great for a steady gun or a good fight on missions, but his expertise is in demolitions. He’s self-taught, but he’s one of the best in the business, and he has fun with what he does.

Lindsay

Lindsay has always thrived on chaos. This presented itself more innocently in her childhood, but once she reached her teen years, it quickly spiraled into something more dangerous. She was always looking for something more risky, more exciting. Speeding, then shoplifting, then vandalism; it was never enough.

That being said, it shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise when some friends easily talked her into her first burglary. From then on, it was an easy slide into the more serious world of crime. She was a gun for hire by twenty, had long left her well-meaning parents behind, travelling with no real goal and making both allies and enemies everywhere she went.

When she cropped up in Los Santos, trailing gunfire and spray-paint cat tags where she went, Geoff knew she was meant to be one of them. He hired her for some odd jobs at first, just to make sure; but just a few looks at her style proved his theory. He offered her permanent position and she took it on a whim.

True to her role, Lindsay is the crew’s wildcard. Sort of like Gavin, except her skills are more specifically in the “fuck shit up” range.

Jeremy

Born and raised in Boston, Jeremy had a not-so-great home life and started hanging with the wrong crowds from a young age. He grew up through fistfights and car wrecks, and by the time he was grown, he didn’t really know anything else. He was actually pretty close with his gang back home. They were the ones who taught him the importance of loyalty; how important it is to have people you can trust. Nothing good lasts forever, though. When another gang- much bigger, much stronger- started picking them off, their leader made the tough choice to disband. Despite communal reluctance, she got them all set up to go underground in different parts of the country. Jeremy was sent to Los Santos.

While there, Jeremy saved a boy he saw being jumped in an alley. The boy turned out to be a hacker and information dealer named Matt. Jeremy was homeless at the time, and Matt offered to let him stay at his place as thanks. Somehow, this quickly turned into them being roommates and friends, and then partners, when they decided it would be a good idea for Jeremy to tag along on Matt’s deals for protection.

While helping Matt, Jeremy made a name for himself in underground fighting rings, known by his half-joke moniker “Rimmy Tim”. One night, a non-regular sat in to watch the fight, and afterwards approached him with an offer. The stranger was one Geoff Ramsey, and the offer was for a job with the Fakes. Jeremy happened to know who the Fakes were- and be a big fan of their work. He was nervous, but he accepted the offer, and it only took a few weeks for them to essentially pull him in.

Jeremy is, in simple terms, the crew’s muscle. He drives, he shoots, and most importantly, he can fight. If anything needs doing that involves those three things, he’s good for it.

Matt

Matt grew up in a small, boring town with a small, boring family. He filled his boredom with the digital world. Eventually, he started diving deeper; learning how to code, and then how to program, and then how to hack. By the time he was seventeen, Matt was going by the alias of “Axial” on dark-web forums, dealing information and breaking into everything from private systems to locked-down, international servers.

After turning eighteen, Matt decided he was sick of his home town and used the money he’d gained from his illegal business to disappear and move somewhere more exciting- Los Santos. After a few months of living there, he met a boy named Jeremy, who saved him from a deal gone wrong. He liked Jeremy, and it seemed like Jeremy liked him; despite the suspicions they both probably should have had in their lines of work, they became fast friends and roommates, deciding to work together.

When Jeremy got hired by the Fakes, Matt was disappointed, but resigned to the fact that he would be back on his own. Until he was pulled away from his work one night to a knock at the door, and found the Vagabond there, ready to take him to the penthouse. Apparently, the crew had been in need of a hacker for a while; and a certain new member had put in quite the good word for him.

Matt is, obviously, the crew’s hacker. He doesn’t really go on the field too much; he’ll tag along if there’s a proximity requirement on his part, or if a bunch of people are unavailable and they really need a backup driver or something, but for the most part he operates from the penthouse. He’s usually on comms during the heists to give directions or help with security or recon in real-time.

Trevor [TW: Sex work mention]

Trevor grew up in a trailer park in Blaine County, raised by a single mom. She loved him, but was involved with all the wrong people. When an altercation with an ex-boyfriend ended up deadly, fourteen-year-old Trevor up and ran as fast as he could, and ended up in the streets of Los Santos. He got by with begging and soup kitchens at first, but he started picking up tricks, on his own or from others he watched. Pickpocketing, manipulation, shoplifting; whatever he could use to get a bit of an advantage, he took.

It was just a while after he turned eighteen that a man he met outside a bar proposed he enter a different “path” of business. Trevor was reluctant, but he was also desperate, and the man made a lot of promises. He ended up spending two years as a prostitute, until one night he’d had enough. He killed the man who’d been selling him and ran once again. 

Once again faced with life on the streets, he returned to what he knew he was good at- lying and stealing. He came up with the alias of Reached, and became a thief and informant by commission, fairly well-known. He became close associates- maybe even friends, if such a thing existed in Los Santos- with another duo, Rimmy Tim and Axial. One day, they gave him a call- saying their new employers needed someone with his skills on a job. To make a long story short, when the Fakes met Trevor, he was pretty much already a part of the team.

Trevor is a thief by trade. Stealth, deception, and stealing is what he does best. He’s a master lock picker and an expert at slight of hand, and is far too good at putting on an innocent face. 

Alfredo

Alfredo was raised by a big, loving family; but people are a product of their environment. A combination of wrong place, wrong time, and peer pressure had him messing around with local gangs far before he should have even seen a gun. But Alfredo always had a knack for precision, and he had the aim of a trained vet, and he was probably a little too busy being cocky to understand the risks he was taking.

Eventually, those risks caught up with him. He was in a lot of hot water and he knew his family was in danger. He couldn’t let them get hurt on his account, so he ran to protect them. He considered turning a new leaf when he got to Los Santos, but quickly realized that if that was the plan, he’d picked the wrong place to do it. It wasn’t long before he was dragged back into work as a gun for hire.

He was good- really good, and when some hot shot rolls into the city with a sniper and skills like that, it shakes things up, and word gets around. Word even gets to some of the most powerful men in the city- including Geoff Ramsey, who decides that if this kid is really as good as he’s heard, there’s no way he’s letting him get snatched up by anybody else first. His invite to Alfredo is more short-notice than it was with the others, but he and the crew click in about two seconds flat, so it really doesn’t take a lot of convincing.

Obviously, Alfredo is their sniper. He’s a hell of a shot with any gun, and can do fine with up-close combat when he needs to, but he’s at his best when he’s giving cover from a rooftop.

Fiona

Fiona comes from one of France’s most infamous criminal organizations. Her parents run the group, and she was raised, essentially, as the heir to the business. She’s been trained since she was a child to be the best at any skill she might need. An array of languages, hand to hand combat in five forms, dozens of weapons, from blades to melee to guns- most of all, she studied deception.

There was a small problem, though. Fiona appreciated everything her family did for her- but there was also no way in hell she was just going to drag on the family business. She wanted to make a name for herself, and she wanted more than the stuffy, starch-white world they were giving her. So she ran away to America. She spent a few years travelling, testing out different paths. At one point, she ended up in long-term employment with a gang. Except she ended up hating said gang, and she wanted out.

Luck happened to be on her side. One day, she was told that they’d kidnapped two people who happened to be members of a powerful crew called the Fakes. Fiona knew the second she laid eyes on the two- a strangely similar looking pair named Trevor and Alfredo- that they were her ticket out. She made a deal with them, that she’d let them escape if they took her with them and kept her safe, and the three of them had a wild adventure that lasted about a week, and ended in the three of them strolling into the penthouse, ragged and exhausted but looking like they’d just had the time of their lives, with Trevor and Alfredo proudly declaring that Fiona was now their newest member.

Fiona is a master of disguise. She’s good at a lot of things, but putting on an act is what really sets her apart. Give her a wig and a makeup kit and she can turn herself into a new person in five minutes flat- complete with an accent and everything. She’s the go-to when the crew need undercover jobs done.

#fahc #fake ah crew #fake achievement hunter crew #fahc geoff #fahc jack #fahc ryan #fahc gavin #fahc michael #fahc lindsay #fahc jeremy #fahc matt #fahc trevor #fahc alfredo #fahc fiona #headcanons #ghost archives

[newsninjablog]

The Role of Counter Intelligence In a Military Coup

I'm really excited to share this information.  First, I'm proud that I came to this conclusion before listening to the attached podcast by Mike Adams.  It occurred to me after listening to Steve Pieczenik yesterday on Alex Jones. 

https://www.infowars.com/posts/is-this-dr-steve-pieczeniks-last-appearance-on-infowars/

 I realized I've been looking at this from all the wrong perspective, and it's no accident that I've been seeing it this way, because I believe that this is the way that Trump's team has wanted to portray themselves.  I've been visualizing Trump as a lone warrior in the swamp, on the defensive, trying to stop an illegal coup on the left. He is repeatedly portrayed as a mindless bumbling idiot who is kind of like a loose cannon, bumping all over the place and having to be controlled and “handled” by his patient staff.  WHAT IF they meant to portray this image to the fake news. 

  “There is no greater danger than underestimating your opponent.” ― Lao Tzu 

  In order to help you understand fully what I’m talking about I have to explain “Q.”  I've avoided this point of view because I have always been wary of "Q."  Who or what is Q?  The prevailing thought is that Q is a consortium of generals (white hat operators) who saw the rising role of the military industrial complex and it’s subsequent murder of John Fitzgerald Kennedy and committed to take this cabal down.  These generals have been replaced over the years, as one passes away, always leaving a core of 200 generals operating down through time.   They have been planning a coup to take this evil down for 50+ years. These white hat operators began making cryptic drops of information that can be traced back to  Oct. 28, 2017, but perhaps there were earlier drops that the mainstream knows nothing about.  Q should be distinguished from Q-Anons, in that the Anons, are people who have taken these cryptic drops and began to interpret the clues and disseminate them out to their followers.  Many people have jumped on the Anon band wagon, but many people call their rhetoric “hope-porn.”  I basically stayed away from these groups because I didn’t trust any information that was coming from a nameless, faceless source.  Then General Flynn posted a video on Twitter of his family saying the Pledge of Allegiance and quoting the Q motto, “Where we go one, we go all.” 

His account has been cancelled by Twitter, but here’s a CNN article about the tweet. 

When I saw this, I began to sit up and take notice.  Because of his endorsement, I believe that Q is a real force and they are the good guys.  Does that mean that everything Anon’s have put out has been true, NO. But that’s because while Q has been doing drops to keep Trump’s faithful followers from being utterly demoralized by the mainstream media’s disinformation campaign, (hear me on this because THIS the important premise of this article) Q HAS BEEN ENGAGING IN COUNTER INTELLIGENCE AS WELL, and they have been using their faithful followers to push that information out.  Why would they purposely misinform their supporters?  BECAUSE, this is the coup... an underground military operation that has been in the works since way, way before Donald Trump. In fact, THEY recruited him.  This is a coup, to take back the Republic from enemy hands, which have been slowly taking over more and more of the government.  In order to be successful, they HAD to manipulate the enemy to underestimate their Commander and Chief... not to mention subverting attention away from where the real action was happening, by sending followers on wild goose chases at times.  Anons became a powerful counter intelligence tool for Q to use to manipulate the enemy and in this way, they have played a crucial role in the success of this operation without knowing it.  

If there are two entities that the left loves to HATE ON it’s Q-Anon’s and Alex Jones.  They watch these two phenomena like a hawk.  Whatever Anons are saying and whatever Alex Jones is saying, they believe this is coming straight from intelligence inside Trump’s inner circle.  That’s why there is a barrage of media hit pieces designed to discredit these two sources.  Alex Jones was de-platformed and  cancelled by big tech years before they turned this on the rest of us.  It’s a miracle his media organization has survived, but survive it has.  

  Anyway, back to my explanation of Q.  The Q version of what's happening here is that our country has been slowly taken over by a underground network of bad operators empowered by the intelligence agencies, funded by illegal activities and protected by the pseudo government or Deep State as it is referred to.  The cancer has reached the pinnacle of its success by openly and brazenly stealing the presidency right in front of our eyes.  Past presidents tried to take this on. JFK was murdered for trying, Ike Eisenhower alluded to it in his "undue influence" speech, and Reagan may have been close to going after it before the assassination attempt.  So I'm coming around to realizing that Q's general platform is likely true.  In that case, this isn't that Trump is defending himself from an illegal coup. This is Trump, the finisher, following an intricately planned play book to retake the republic.  This is the counter coup, and it’s been in the works for a long time.  Understand, they knew that the election was going to be stolen and they had to stand down and let it happen, because before they could reveal the evil that the enemy was doing, they had to let it reach a pinnacle of that evil to help open the eyes of the American people.  This seems like a cruel punishment for those of us who just wanted to celebrate the victory of our president and go to the inauguration and enjoy another 4 years of his leadership...but we are all a part of the operation now and we have to “hold the line.” Do not be demoralized by the left into thinking that you’re crazy or that Biden is the president elect.  This whole operation on the left is depending on an international gas-lighting operation that is trying to deceive the whole world into thinking that this election was legitimate and that Joe Biden is now the “legitimate” leader. It’s all a lie. 

Last week’s march on the Capitol was not a fiasco caused by Trump. It was an intricately planned military operation designed to draw the rats out of the sewer.  The entire thing was surveilled and recorded.  The left purposely planned to bring in insurgents dressed as Trump supporters to attack the Capitol, in order to 1. get sympathy for Joe Biden and the Democrats as the innocent victims of violent insurgents and 2. to paint Trump as inciting violence and therefore unfit to lead. Notice, they tried to remove him the next day using the 25th amendment.  MEANWHILE, the geniuses on Trump’s team hijacked their hijacking and went in with special ops to retrieve key laptops from the Speaker and other treasonous Congressmen and women.  Please take a look at these two clips showing our white hat special forces guys (recently reorganized by Trump as another branch of the military directly reporting to him..BRILLIANT)  

Here the are   entering the Capitol 

and inside deploying to their designated    offices to complete the “laptop mission.”  Does that sound like a President who’s laying it down? Does that sound like someone who’s given up?  

 What’s really cool, is Trump supporters,  by showing up in those huge numbers, were a part of the plan, without even knowing it.  After the insurgence took place, Trump had to announce that everyone needed to disperse peacefully. This is one of the requirements that must be fulfilled before the In-surrec- tion Act can be invoked.

        “To be used, the In-surrec-tion Act says, “he (POTUS) shall, by proclamation, immediately order the insurgents to disperse and retire peaceably to their abodes within a limited time.” 

 Are you getting the picture here?  On the surface, this looked like a bumbling attempt by Trump to get his followers to overthrow the government (Trump knows his followers AREN’T those kind of people.)  but the media and the Trump haters don’t know this.  Brilliant counter intelligence going on here.  Follow me...Now the LEFT is so scared of those horrible, violent, racist Trump-sters (as they derisively call us) that they INSIST on military backing in DC.  Trump responds to their request by declaring State of Emergency, which allows for the deployment of troops (18,000 and counting) to the nation’s capital, all under the guise that they are protecting Biden and HIS inauguration. Meanwhile, the Insurrection Act has been signed, and under this and the Emergency Declaration, the military and FEMA are in charge.  The men at the helm are both Trump appointees who you can bet were strategically placed there for such a time as this.  (Please listen to the Mike Adam’s Podcast linked here for a detailed explanation of this).  

Meanwhile, over on Info Wars, Alex Jones has been acting very strange. People who don’t know him very well, or haven’t been listening for very long, might not pick up on it, but I’ve been listening on and off for so long, I feel like I could predict his words before they come out of his mouth...suddenly he’s changing his tune A LOT.  Everyday seems to be a bashing of Q and Q-Anons...Alex seems to have inside knowledge that the president may be giving up...he’s ranting and panicking and belying the military presence in DC as Biden’s attempt to try and turn us into a military state.  He goes on and on and on but something is wrong... Then yesterday, his argument the Steve Pieczenik..it was all so staged in my mind.  It occurred to me that Alex is being recruited to push out the narrative to keep the left (who THINK anything Alex Jones says is coming from the inside) will be dissuaded from any worries they might have had about the military presence in DC. Info Wars and Mike Adams were being used for counter intelligence.  Now you might ask, how can we trust anything Mike Adams says.  Well first of all, he’s one of the good guys who has been fighting corruption in the CDC, Big Pharma and the health industry for YEARS.  I strongly recommend you listen to his podcast linked above because you will instantly be able to see the difference between this podcast, which is the real Mike Adams, and the fake one he put out a couple days ago, regarding Pentagon push back.  The real Mike Adams would never put something out there as absolute fact unless he was privy to the information personally.  His normal approach is to describe the different arguments, critically analyze them and them give people the possible scenarios and which one he thinks is most likely. That’s what he is doing in today’s podcast...completely different from the one he put out two days ago.  So why would the good guys want to make the left believe that the Pentagon is not with Trump? Simple?  Because they will not worry about the Insurrection Act anymore and they won’t be concerned about the growing military presence. Counter intelligence at it’s best. 

Bottomline, on Saturday when certain key individual began pushing out the intel that Trump had signed the Insurrection Act, I responded by wrongly thinking, THIS IS IT!  An emergency broadcast is soon to follow.  However, although the act has been signed, it won’t be made public until the absolute right moment.  Think about it, if they had made it public on Monday, they wouldn’t have had the troops in DC ready to meet with the push back that will surely come when the general public realizes that Joe Biden is not going to be president. They are ready now, but there are probably a LOT of things most of us are still not privy to.  We may continue to be used to push our narratives that we think are true, that are really just moving pieces on the chess board, to prepare for the next thing.  The only role we can have now is to prepare for the obvious fact that there is going to be rough spell coming with possible shut downs, black outs and maybe even a false flag attack.  The left has already revealed their next card, in that they are trying to gin up a militia insurrection at the state capitols this weekend.  I hope no one is foolish enough to participate in this one...our president has told us to calm down and stay home...don’t let them use Trump supporters for this.  The last thing we want to do is spur on a civil unrest, before the geniuses on the inside have sprung their incredible trap on the Deep State. 

That being said...

No plan is perfect or invincible.  We have no idea who will win this battle, but we KNOW WHO WINS the war!  Our hope is not in Donald John Trump, but in the Lord and of HIS government, there shall be no end.  Keep thinking critically about everything you see and hear. Don’t believe a single word the mainstream press is putting out and question everything that is coming at you from all the other sources.  Here are some of the things for which I am absolutely certain of (that means 99% at this point)

1. Donald Trump will not commit treason by surrendering the country to a known CCP asset

2. Donald Trump is the CEO of a multi-billion dollar empire and didn’t get there by being dumb and bumbling

3. The Insurrection Act has been signed and is in play

4. We will be looking at a pretty incredible piece of history over the next 7 days...

Stay alert and hopeful! 

[give-me-back-my-rhodey]

AUgust 2020 Masterlist

Title:  The Potter and the Blacksmith

Rating:  Teen And Up Audiences

Warning:  (assumed)Major Character Death, but not really

Relationship:  Tony Stark/Thor

Link: Read on AO3 here

Summary:  Life was simple in the village of Belleville. Everyone had their job to do, and everyone lived in peace with each other. There had been no trouble in the village for a long time. The last werewolf attack was years ago, and dragons have not been seen for decades. Magic is prohibited in this realm, and the ruler of the village likes to take this very seriously. Once warned in a dream that she and her family would die by magic, she goes the extra mile to make sure there is never any magic in the town.

When the gregarious potter marries the isolated blacksmith, rumors start flying. What happens when one of them is suspected of using magic?

Title: College Pepperony

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General Audiences

Warning: n/a

Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Before Virginia Potts met Tony Stark, everyone warned her to be wary of his playboy ways. Little do they know she will be the one to make the first move.

Title: Soulmates

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: n/a

Relationship: Tony Stark/Sam Wilson

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  What are soulmates? Soulmates are two (or more) people who join to make a whole.  Sam Wilson knows he has one, but he’s unsure if his soulmate is going to want to meet him. Written across his tricep are the words So, you’re Steve’s right hand man? Sam isn’t quite sure, but he senses suspicion in these words.

They popped up when he turned fifteen. The only Steve he knew was the school bully, and he really hoped he didn’t meet his soulmate in high school. After graduating high school and college, he joined the Air Force.

It’s funny how many Steves you meet in a lifetime. Steve his professor, Steve the nudist who staged protests on the quad, Steve his CO for three years, but the Steve he never expected to meet was Steve the Avenger.

Imagine his surprise when he found his soulmate...

I had to write a second one for this because I had this thought after I finished my ironfalcon one. 

Title: The Best Thing

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General

Warnings: N/A:

Relationship: James “Rhodey” Rhodes/Tony Stark

Summary:  Tony and Rhodey meet as roommates in MIT

Link: Read on AO3

AN: Rhodey’s words (the one Tony says) are from a song of one of my favorite bands. The song is called The Best Thing

Title: To Fall In Love With Your Conscience

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Mature

Warnings: N/A

Relationships: James “Rhodey” Rhodes/Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes/James “Rhodey” Rhodes/Tony Stark

Square Filled: This is in compliance with the Bucky Barnes Bingo square K1: Angels & Demons au & the Starkbucks bingo square B5: Invisibility

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  When it comes to making a decision, who or what do you rely on? Common sense? No. Logic? No. Everyone knows the best way to decide is by talking to your shoulder angel and devil. But what happens when your angel and devil are in love with each other? Bucky Barnes has that problem. He thinks it’s the worst.

Title: Love in an Underground Bunker

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Explicit

Warning: N/A

Relationship: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Tony doesn’t remember not living in fear. When his father was a young man, there was an uprising against the government. In turn, the government unleashed a highly toxic gas upon its citizens. The few who did not rebel were rewarded with palaces and mansions built on higher elevations to protect them from the gasses. They were transported in hover jets. Those who rebelled were forced to live on the ground, choked by the deadly gasses. Although the government committed genocide, some people had foresight, however, and built large underground bunkers. Howard had invented a device that filtered the gas out of the air. The rebels planted them in many places over the country. When the government found out, they began to send their AIM agents out to replenish the air with their toxic gas.

DISCLAIMER: THIS WORK IS NSFK!

Title: Let’s Burn the World Down

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Relationship: Clint Barton/Tony Stark, Background relationships: Bucky/Natasha, Steve/Sam

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Tony falls in love with the guy he keeps meeting in the ER. Too bad the guy already has a girlfriend... or does he?

Title: The Trio is Back

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Relationships: Bucky/Nat/Tony, Bucky/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Natasha, Bucky, and Tony have been friends since childhood. Everyone speculates that Natasha will have to choose between the two of them. Little do they know she might just choose both.

Joker Prompt: coffeeshop au

Title: It was Wednesday before, now it's Wednesday again Ship: Bucky/Tony, Steve/Nat Warnings: N/A Link: Read on AO3 Summary: Natasha and Tony have to figure out how to get out of a time loop

Title: Here We Are, Born to be Kings

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Pairing: Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Prince James is in love with Lord Tony Stark, a childhood friend. However, the Starks have been disgraced due to embezzlement charges. Can they overcome this?

Title: Oh to be a Pirate King

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Mature

Warnings: N/A

Pairings: Rhodey/Bucky/Tony, background Carol/Maria

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Pirate Captain James Rhodes was looking for a one-night stand. He ends up with two crewmates who make him RICH.

Title: A Stay at the Ranch

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: N/A

Pairings: Thorbruce, Rhodeytony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Bruce Banner is stranded on a ranch until his car gets fixed. The problem is, when his car is fixed, he doesn't really want to leave.

Title: A Great Day for a Heist

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen (subject to change as I update)

Warnings: Howard’s homophobia

Relationships: Tony/Rhodey, Sam/Bucky

Link: Read on AO3

Summary A group of unusual friends team up for a heist.

Title: Rock Band

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Relationships: Bucky/Tony, Rhodey/Bruce, other background relationships

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: The Avengers are a rock band that rose quickly up the charts. When they broke up suddenly, they disappeared just as fast. Is there any hope for a reunion?

A/N: So, I have Chapters 2 & 3 written for this, but I was rushed to post this for Day 13 of AU_gust, and I don't want to post those chapters until Chapter 4 is written. Like the other incomplete works of this series, these will be updated after AUgust is complete.

Title: The Life of a Vampire (and His Boyfriend)

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Pairing: Bucky/Tony, background Sam/Steve

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Bucky believes Tony Stark is a vampire; his friends are worried about him. Will they be more worried if he starts to date said vampire?

Title: Fool for You

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Pair: Natasha/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary Agent Tony Stark aka Anthony Carbonell has a mission - keep Director Fury updated on Widow Industries' owner and founder, Natasha Romanov. Falling in love was not part of the mission parameters.

A/N:  I'm sorry for posting unfinished works. This week has been crazy, and I am making sure I get my fics in for each AUgust Day. I definitely plant to complete this work. I have a great outline for it, but it will be after August is complete... or if I have a LOT of spare time. Thank you for reading!

Title: The Treasures of a Stark

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Brief mention of background characters’ racism

Pairings: Sam/Bucky, Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Sam and Bucky are famous Youtube treasure hunters. When searching for treasure that may have part of insurance fraud, they don't expect the grandson of the accused to help out.

Title: Baby, We’re Posing, but our Love Isn’t

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Burns

Pair: Rhodey/Bucky/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Tony, Rhodey, and Bucky are firefighters in a committed relationship. When Bucky hurts his arm, his boyfriends are there to assure him of his worth.

Title: Seeing Through the Masks

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Pair: Bucky/Tony; background Steve/Sam/Sharon

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Bucky is hired to be Tony Stark's bodyguard. Once annoyed by his task, he starts to see the real Tony Stark behind all the masks he wears

Title: Law vs Morals

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Violence, slight mentions of period homophobia, major character death (of old age)

Pair: Pepper/Tony, eventual Pepper/Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Police Chief James Rhodes is adamant on taking down the Stark mob. When he gets kidnapped by the Starks, he starts to see all they do. Can there be some gray in the world of black and white?

Title: Chance Reunions

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General

Warnings; past background character death, tw: talks of cancer

Pairing: Tony Stark/Jan van Dyne, past Pepperony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Jan does not expect to see an old flame in the park today. It's a good thing she did, though.

Title: When I Rule the World

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: n/a

Pair: Tony Stark/Victor von Doom

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Tony Stark and Victor von Doom compete to see who can defeat the Avengers first and take over the world. They find love along the way.

Title: There’s No Future Without You

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: n/a

Pair: Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Rhodey gets sent forward in time by this week's villain. He is able to return home with the help of an AI and an avid fan.

Title: Long Have I Waited for You

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: M

Warnings: Violence, torture, Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting, Child Abuse

Relationships: pre-Tony/Bucky

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Howard agrees that if he has a son, he would give Bucky said son's hand in marriage. Now, 80 years later, will Bucky hold up his end of the deal?

Title: Private Detective James Rhodes

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General

Warning: Kidnapping

Pair: Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Tony Stark hires Private Detective James Rhodes to find his son. They fall in love in the process

Title: Life is a Circus

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: M

Warnings: Violence, Animal attack, Blood and gore

Pair: Bucky/Clint/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: The Avengers as a found family of circus performers

Title: Whatever It Takes

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Violence

Pair: Bucky/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Bucky Barnes, the White Wolf, gets back from a hunt to find that his husband and son are missing. He will do all he can to make sure they return home safely

Title: Succulently Sweet

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General

Warnings: Past implied minor character death

Pair: Tony/Natasha

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262403

Summary: Tony Stark owns a flower shop. One day, a beautiful redhead comes in and buys a succulent. Tony can't get her out of his mind since.

Title: My Own Model

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: General

Warnings: Dislike of one’s body, sexism

Pair: Rhodey/carol, background Tony/Jan

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Rhodey visits Tony at one of Jan's fashion shows... and meets the love of his life.

 Title: Drunk Weddings

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: n/a

Tags: Crack

Pair: Thor/Tony, Rhodey/Heimdall

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Tony and Thor are cold when sober, but highly affectionate when drunk. What happens when they wake up married with strange tattoos?

Title: The Stars Reflect our Love Author: Purple_ducky00 Warnings: N/A Pair: Nakia/T'Challa Link: Read on AO3 Summary: Nakia is the mage for King T’Chaka of Wakanda. She falls in love with his son, but their love is forbidden.

This is using both the College au and Bodyguard au Title: Guarding You Collaborators: @fightingforcreativity​, purple_ducky00 Link: Read on AO3  Ship: WinterIronHusband Rating: Explicit Tags: AU Bodyguard, AU College/University, College Student Tony Stark, College Student Rhodey, Bodyguard Bucky Barnes, Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Dorks in love, Falling In Love, Fade to black sex, slices of life, Mention of alcohol, creep tries to creep on Tony, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Pining, Minor Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau/Nick Fury, mentioned dog, betrayal, Violence, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Injury Recovery, Clint Barton Trolls People Warning: alcohol use, canon typical violence (later chapters) fade to black sex Summary: As Tony Stark always managed to get rid of the bodyguards Howard sends, the older Stark decided to try a different agency, one he knew had specialized bodyguards.

The man he ends up hiring seems competent enough.

James "Bucky" Barnes gets a job which leads him back to college. He might or might not gets into trouble with his neighbors Tony Stark and Rhodey Rhodes.

And those troubles might lead to something neither of the three could have anticipated.

#i write! #AU_gust_2020 #masterlist #winteriron #ironhusbands #ironfalcon #pepperony #winterironhusbands #romanogers #ironwasp #irondoom #sambucky #rhodeycarol #nakia/tchalla #ironthunder #ironwidow #thorbruce

[the-wotog-collection]

true canon: an explanation

True Canon is set in a typical High Fantasy D&D ye olden age world, with monsters and magic and dragons galore. It started out focused entirely on Eve and Viktor and a few others’ travels through a country called Witherhurst, and as we made more characters and stories and kingdoms, we expanded the scope of WotOG (the original D&D game) to cover all of them, until we had a nice world built up around the characters. Since not all of the stories related to the events of WotOG (and WotOG part 2: Electric Boogaloo), we decided to change the name to True Canon, so we knew which universe for sure was the foundation upon which our Many AU’s Stand. Here’s a quick n dirty timeline, for reference:

(much more under the cut)

-Eve, Viktor, and a few others that aren’t relevant to the story travel around Witherhurst on a job or something from a lady who’s Definitely Not Important At All (Her name is Prenella). At some point Prenella ditches the party and they’re stuck without a cleric for a while

-They make it to a big city, and through shenanigans that include travelling the city for fun and also almost dying to a pack of rabid dogs, Eve convinces Intem to join the party.

-Eve, Vik, and now Intem (plus one more pc) unravel a cult plot, something about the end of the world, blah blah nothing really important there. They end up taking out the cult and fighting Prenella, the cult’s leader, who also happens to be a dragon. Neat.

-After that horrifying ordeal, the party reconvenes and decides, ‘fuck it, let’s go find a new place to travel together’ and thus board a ship that they then steal from the captain (after Intem’s “pet” eats said captain).

-So begins the few years the party spends as pirates.

-Things happen, they end up fighting an eldritch god for world-ending rights, and go on their merry way.

- Intem falls into the role of reluctant (but no less ruthless) pirate captain, with vik as his first mate and eve as navigator (despite the fact that she can’t read. they figure it out)

-This is around the time Intem goes from lilac-haired sunshine boy to disgruntled cynic who’s Done With Your Shit, Viktor.

-Eventually the crew docks, and picks up Therai and Pippin for a while. Eve also brings up the idea of reviving Vik’s old travelling companion, Dante (two bros, chillin in a tavern, no feet apart ‘cause they’re so gay), and Intem’s like “Sure why the fuck not” and they set off to find his grave or whatever.

-Hatch and Xander are in the area and end up getting picked up by the crew.

-Dante gets revived, and for the next year or so, everything is fine.

-Eventually the crew docks near Therai’s old home kingdom, and he dips, taking Pippin, Xander, and Hatch with him (he really only meant to take Pip). They spend a while travelling to his kingdom, Aer-Vinn, and encounter Hatch’s long time (boy)friend Aerglo. He joins the party, at Hatch’s request.

-A little while later (vague time frame I know but exact years don’t matter here), there’s some Good Therai Angst when- Shock! Horror! - they end up stumbling upon Tal, who shares ~history~ with Therai. Not the good kind, mind you. They leave soon after meeting Tal.

-There’s a few more encounters with Therai’s old companion before Tal eventually softens up and joins the party, hell yeah. Warren joins too, because he was nearby and Also shares ~history~ with Therai and Tal. (They were all in a party together before this)

-AT THE SAME TIME THIS IS GOING ON: Rain sets out on a holy mission from their church to prove themselves worthy of being a Paladin of the Church.

-They meet Rosemary along the way, and after a small adventure together, they decide to help Rose out and find Catherine with her, because a while back Rose accidentally turned Catherine into, well, a cat.

-They do find Cat, after she’d gone through some Shit in an alternate dimension featuring a Sun Goddess and her complete mental breakdown. Cat Killed A Goddess (or two, we’ll see how the campaign goes), and made friends with the cousins Mikhail and Valentine. Mikhail doesn’t matter to the timeline right now. 

-Anyway, Rain and Rose find Cat, and settle down in a little seaside village where they work together to turn Cat back into a human.

-They Succeed!!!

-Uh-oh there’s a stranger at the door- Oh! It’s just Rain’s Cleric friend from their church, Rahon! Turns out Rain kinda went MIA and everyone back home is having a Panic, so Rahon’s here to make sure Rain is alive and well, or collect their belongings if they’re not-

-But they’re alive, so Rahon calms down and decides to stay (after sending a message back home, of course), to keep an eye or two on Rain.

-Rain is Delighted :)

-The party (minus kal) were traveling somewhere, kal ended up going the same way, and they ended up in the same city for a while. rahon saw her Up To No Good, so he kept an eye on them and saw them getting stabbed, and decided to nurse her back to health, and thus Kal Joins The Party. Rahon is an absolute sweetheart to them

-Eventually Rose, Cat, and Rain head out to a nearby cave system bc of Reasons, and end up kinda sorta stumbling into a system that leads to this world’s version of the Underdark. They need help navigating, because Fuck These Tunnels Are Confusing, and come across a little hermit drow who’s living his “best” life in his underground hut with tattered clothes and ratty books and cracked glasses.

-He just wants to see the surface but is terrified of how the world will treat him if he goes up alone, so he offers to guide everyone through the Underdark in exchange for them taking him up to the surface. Everyone agrees

-Astralus, little hermit drow lad, does so, and soon finds himself stumbling out into broad daylight. He’s got light sensitivity and everything Burns, but he’s so fucking happy oh my gods. Also he’s crying but it’s okay, he’s kinda really emotional.

-Aster joins the party! And they find out he’s cousins with Rose, who practically adopted him as a brother anyway let’s be real.

-Somehow Val learns of Cat’s whereabouts, and pops by to say hi to his trauma buddy. Cue shock as he sees her as human for the first time. Aster develops an immediate crush, and takes to following Val around like a lost puppy.

-Val is having a Time because, Aster looks just like a person he knew in an alternate universe and things didn’t turn out well for them. Yikes.

-Val joins the party, if only to tease Cat and finally have a place to be for a while

-MEANWHILE: Bree finds an abomination living in the abandoned mineshafts near her village. She decides he could probably use a friend, since the entire village is pretty scared of/hostile towards him, and becomes that friend. She finds out his name is Ve, and he’s a sweetheart. She makes immediate friends and he teaches her sign language, because he Literally Doesn’t Have A Face, he can’t speak.

-A few weeks later, either Ve or Bree decide to leave bc Fuck This Town, except they don’t say Fuck because they’re both softe beans (they both legally cannot say fuck. and i actually had an idea for how they leave ovo). Either way, they leave, and through shenanigans, they pick up Three More Tieflings, what the hell, which is kinda funny because previously, Bree didn’t think tieflings existed at all. 

-Tarvaii and Trancey are travelling together as a Chaotic Mischief Duo, and end up joining the party because Bree made friends

-Same situation with Chaym, though he was alone and depressed because his entire village got massacred. Bree made friends, and Chaym joined the party

-Chaym also ended up teaching Trancey magic, specifically Necromancy, which is kinda really stupid dangerous but it’s fine, Chaym survived, why shouldn’t Trancey? (flawed logic but okay Chaym)

-Cut to a few years later, back with Eve and Co.

-They’re in a tavern, Eve sees a depressed tiefling at the bar. What does she do? Immediately go try to cheer him up.

-She finds out he’d left his pregnant girlfriend on a mission to go help out somewhere, and ended up stuck in a weird place where time passes differently for him. It’s been 26 years, though to him it felt more like a handful of weeks. He’s scared and confused and would very much like to find his family, but he has no idea where he is.

-Eve’s heart breaks bc! he’s so sad and his girlfriend is pregnant and he’s got a family and just wants to get back to them, how could she not want to help? and thus she decides to help the tiefling, Viren, find his family.

-Through a series of events, the find out Viren’s family was living in a beautiful city built into the mountains, that fell quite a few years back. Luckily, his girlfriend left beforehand, and moved to a small mining town, where she gave birth to, and briefly raised, their son. She named him Ve, after his father, who she assumed was dead.

-There was a fire at one point, and Angelica, Viren’s girlfriend, died saving Ve. Viren is absolutely devastated when he finds out, and Eve offers to resurrect Angelica, y’know, bring the family together again, even if for just a short time.

-Vi agrees, and they do so! Woo! Also Eve and co. meet up with Ve for a while so the family really is back together.

-Intem, doing a sneaky trick, makes it so Angelica’s soul keeps the body and just, lives until the body dies, be it natural or unnatural causes. He only tells Eve and Angelica about it, and waits to see how long it takes Viren to realize ‘oh shit I’m not losing my fiance so soon’

-Also Viren and Angelica get engaged! Woo!

-A little while passes, Viren and Anne join the party, and Eve gets pregnant with Intem’s kids. At this point the party’s stopped adventuring, and they all settled down somewhere nice. Anyway Eve’s pregnant and gives birth to twins, Olive and Evergreen (Evan for short), but Olive looks more like Therai than Intem and it’s kinda weird, but nobody really minds because the twins are just, so cute. Also Therai (and co) came back and built the party a nice house, so, yeah.

-Olive and Evan grow up, and Evan takes an interest in Druid Magic. Vik lets Evan access his Giant Library and teaches him general magic stuff. Olive scares her whole ass family by taking an interest in Necromancy, and eventually someone gets in contact with Chaym (and by extension Trancey), and has him come over to teach Olive.

-Olive becomes a necromancer! And then heads off with Evan in tow to start their own life of adventuring. 

-Eve has another kid, Avery, with Therai

-Olive befriends a Whole Ass Dragon, gives him the nickname Jade, and introduces him to Evan. By the time the trio make it back to Jade’s hoard, Avery’s taken on the role of Fighter and heads out into the world to do her own thing. She also meets Clover, another fighter, and they travel together for a while before joining Olive, Evan, and Jade. 

-That’s it, that’s where we stopped on the timeline of True Canon. It’ll go on, of course, but, here’s the general timeline in 4 pages

#long post #true canon #so! there's the Entire true canon timeline #with some stuff missing here and there but i'm sure we'll get there #anyway this took an hour to write and took up four entire pages on our google doc #so. yeah #mod ash

[theyearoftheking]

Book Thirty-Three: The Wastelands

“We are ka-tet...which means a group of people bound together by fate. The philosophers of my land said a ka-tet could only be broken by death or treachery. My great teacher, Cort, said that since death and treachery are also spokes on the wheel of ka, such a binding can never be broken. As the years pass and I see more, I come more and more to Cort’s way of looking at it.”

The Wastelands... kinds describes the state of affairs in our country right now, huh? I just... I have nothing funny or wise to say. My heart just aches. So, I’ve been trying to limit my time on the internet, mindlessly scrolling through social media; and I’ve been reading more. Which is why you’re treated to two posts this week!

The Wastelands was the perfect escape book at a time when I desperately needed to escape reality. I have an old, battered trade paperback copy I’ve read countless times, passed along to various friends, and treasured dearly. Some people go to Frodo, or Harry Potter when they need comfort, I turn to Roland and the ka-tet. Look at this well-loved book...

One of the funny things about having owned this book for twenty years, is looking back at the annotations I’ve made, and the various bookmarks. The last person who read this book (probs my husband) left behind an M&I Bank envelope. I’m not even sure M&I Bank is still a thing...

A quick Google search has informed me M&I Bank is now BMO-Harris. So that’s a fun little artifact. 

Speaking of fun artifacts, for some reason, these lines really stuck out to me at some point, for some reason. It was probably back in college when I was unable to read anything without underlining it, or writing, “wow!” in the margins. 

When I re-read these books, I usually find some small detail or theme I missed the last time I read the series. This time I was really just blown away by the amount of plot Steve was able to cram into four hundred and twenty-two pages. 

We start in the woods, with Roland teaching Susannah how to shoot, while Eddie is attacked by a cyborg bear that chases him up a tree. Thankfully, Susannah has not forgotten the face of her father, and is able to shoot the bear and save Eddie. 

It’s a good thing, because Roland hasn’t been himself lately. He’s hearing voices that contradict whether Jake actually existed, and whether or not Roland let him die. Eddie, in an attempt to deal with the demons of his past, has taken up whittling. He ends up carving a key that seems to quiet Roland’s voices down.

Meanwhile in our universe, Jake Chambers is also struggling. It’s finals week at his fancy prep school, and he can’t focus. He’s dealing with the same voices Roland is, and he feels like he’s split in two. And honestly? New York Jake doesn’t have a lot going for him. His parents ignore him, his closest confidant is his housekeeper, and he goes bowling alone. Seriously. The thought of a ten year old alone at the bowling alley really tugs on the heartstrings. 

One day, Jake dips out of school and meanders around NYC. He finds himself in a small bookshop where he picks up a copy of Charlie the Choo-Choo, and a riddle book, with all the answers ripped out of the back. This picture still haunts my dreams.

Eventually, Jake somehow meets up with the kid version of Eddie, and makes his way into The Mansion, an old, haunted house. The mansion is gross, creepy, full of spiders, and I’m pretty sure it’s the same haunted house The Losers Club visits in It. 

Once inside the mansion, it starts to collapse, and Jake finds the right doorway to let himself back into Roland’s world. Eddie struggles to pull him in, while Susannah has sex with a demon in order to keep it distracted. Yep. That happened. 

So, the ka-tet is complete (almost), and Roland promises never to drop Jake again. Snort. 

Then, the best character of all is introduced: Oy, the Billy Bumbler. All the squeeeeeees. 

The ka-tet begins their journey further along The Beam, and towards Blaine the Train. No one knows why their journey needs to involve Blaine the Pain, but I guess it’s just ka. On the way to see Mid-World’s most annoying form of transportation, they stop and have dinner with the elders of River Crossing, who tell them they haven’t seen a gunslinger in hundreds of years. It’s a lovely scene, compared to the chaos that comes next. 

They move along, realizing their bond is growing stronger, and they’re kind of able to read each other’s minds. And Oy is proving to be way smarter than anyone gave him credit for. Oy reminds me of a less-obnoxious version of my beagle. Super smart, but likes to keep that shit on the down-low. 

Eventually, the crew makes it to the shit-hole city of Lud. Seriously guys... shit-hole. They have bodies hanging from the light poles, there’s this weird Shirley Jackson Lottery system they have going on, and it appears almost everyone is suffering from some kind of radiation sickness. Jake is promptly captured by Gasher; and Roland sets off to rescue him, while Eddie and Susannah go to find Blaine. 

Roland and Oy (let’s be honest here... mostly Oy. He follows Jake’s scent all the way to the underground bunker where he’s hiding out) find Jake, kill the villainous Tick-Tock Man (real name, Andrew Quick- also, not really killed); and make their way above ground with the help of Blaine. Blaine finds out from Eddie and Susannah that Jake and Roland are well-versed in riddles, and he can’t wait to hear some. 

So, Blaine sets off explosives all over the city of Lud (I told you, a real pain); and takes the ka-tet off towards the Tower. Well, actually, he’s on a suicide mission that’s due to end in Topeka. He and Roland bargain, and Blaine eventually agrees if the ka-tet has a riddle that stumps him, he’ll let them go before he crashes. Otherwise it’s, “SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR! AFTER WHILE, CROCODILE, DON’T FORGET TO WRITE!” 

And the book ends with the ka-tet riddling it out with Blaine. 

So much goodness crammed into one novel, and I can’t wait to get to Wizard & Glass, arguably my favorite Dark Tower Book. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 25

Total Dark Tower References: 25

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Needful Things: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Next up is Gerald’s Game, which I’m now describing as, “Sexy-time Cujo, with handcuffs”. Can someone make that into a t-shirt for me, please?

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

#the dark tower #constant readers #stephen king #ka #ka-tet #oy #billy bumblers #blaine #it

[corycadaver]

THE FASTEST & FURIOUSEST MOVIE SCRIPT

I have never seen a Fast & Furious movie. I have seen trailers and commercials for them, and I know very little about them from other sources as well. I got into a discussion with a friend that I could whip out a script for the next installment in the franchise in no time. There some spelling error and typos but anyways here it is, I hope you enjoy!

The Fastest and Furiousest A script by Cory Jezierski

Opening Scene, our main characters Jason Statham and The Rock are in their underground auto mechanic lair. It’s like the Bat Cave, but full of hi tech wrenches and sockets and  bad ass cars and weapons and posters of naked ladies. No bats. Our heroes seem to be unwinding after whatever happened in the last movie (I didn’t see it. I didn’t see any of them)

The Rock is mixing Monster Energy Drink, Bud Light & Diesel Fuel together in a blender. Jason Statham is organizing his prized collection of car wrenches.

JASON: Hey, The Rock.... that last mission was sick bro! It really but our friendship to the test while helping us to grow as people. I think I might retire after that one. Maybe take my cut and buy some land in Hawaii and open a garage.. call it “Pineapple’s” or something really exotic like that....

The Rock looks at Jason intensely but with a charming grin and pushes start on the blender. It blends for two minutes while the cameras slowly pan around the Rocks muscles. Not in a gay way though. The blender stops. He takes takes a long sip directly from the blender. He dosent need a cup becuase he is the Rock. Some of the liquid dribbles down his chin and onto his shirt, but not in a way that could be considered gay at all. He doesnt care about the stains on his muscle shirt because he will probably be top nude for the rest of the movie anyways. But not in a gay way. He chuckles at Jason Statham’s suggestion of retirement.

THE ROCK: You say that after every mission bro. You know you can’t give up this life. The fast cars and the furious cars are what you live for bro!

JASON STATHAM: (chuckles) yeah you are right bro. But one of these days I will say it and I will mean it. But damn, the rock, you are right! I love the fast cars and the furious cars!

The phone rings. Not a cell phone, but a special red landline phone that is under a small plastic case. Jason Statham answers the phone.

JASON STATHAM: Sup bra? ....... Oh shit.... Yes.... We’ll be there. (He hangs up the phone and turns to the Rock) It’s the President.

The scene fades to black. You hear the sound of engines roaring and cars driving very fastly and very furiously. The next scene fades in to two cars driving down a highway. They are very fast and they are very furious. Oil and fire are coming out of all the cars holes, but in a bad ass way, like they are totally supposed to be doing that. The cars do not need to go into the shop for repairs.

Zoom in to the Rock in his car. “Rock You Like a Hurricane” by the Scorpions plays very loud, but you still hear engines roar. He opens a Bud Lite and slams it. He opens a Monster Energy Drink and slams that next. He opens a can of Diesel Fuel and slams that next. He opens a second Bud Lite and slams that next. He burps in a very macho way, then makes an action to indicate he pushed onto the gas pedal even harder, making his car faster and louder than it already was! Transition to the cars pulling up to the White House. They both skid onto the lawn, leave the cars there and run fastly and furiously into the White House. The groundskeeper shakes his head when he see’s all the damage the cars tires did to his grass. Transition scene to the Oval Office, where The President, played by Bruce Willis is standing with his back to the desk looking out the window, and the Rock and Jason Statham are seated waiting for him to speak.

PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: There’s no easy way for me to say this so I will be direct. The Rock’s brother, the one who is half cyborg, the one who you just put in prison yesterday... he broke out of prison and he’s kidnapped my daughter. We also think he has plans to blow up the Super Bowl. You’re the only ones who can stop him. (He turns around from looking out the window) You know I hate you fuckers becuase you do things so goddamn fast, and so goddamn furious that it makes me furious! But America needs you boys.

You hear a can crack open. The Rock and Jason Statham are both slamming Bud Lites. They look super pumped for this mission. The Rock is now top nude.

THE ROCK: We would never dream of letting America down Sir JASON STATHAM: He’s correct, America is where we live and where our cars live and also we hate cyborgs and love freedom. THE ROCK: You have our word President Bruce Willis, nothing will happen to your sexy daughter or the American Super Bowl PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: If you assholes fuck this one up I will shove a bald eagle so far up your ass you will be shitting freedom for a week, but from a jail cell! Now get the fuck outta my office! And don’t even think about fingerbanging my daughter!!!!!

Our heroes get up and scurry out the door

“Rock You Like a Hurricane” from the Scorpions plays as the scene fades back to the boys in their cars. They are driving down the highway again, but this time you can tell they are driving faster and furiouser than before. They are headed to the see a freind about getting some new Cyborg killing weapons.

The scene cuts to an old abandoned warehouse, where the Rock’s Cyborg brother, played by a CGI Macho Man Randy Savage but voiced by Hulk Hogan, and who goes by the name Macho-Borg, is holding up with his gang and President Bruce Willis’ sexy daughter, played by Megan Fox. The camera pans in from a top view showing Macho-Borg and his hoodlums standing around a table looking at a map of George Washington Stadium where the Super Bowl will be played in a few weeks.

MACHO-BORG: This plan is foolproof! There is no way I can fail! In just a few weeks I will have blown up the Super Bowl with plutonium, removed the President from office and taken over the country! No one, not even my regular human brother The Rock and his fast driving and furious driving pals can put a stop to this!

The hoodlums nod in agreement and everyone laughs in an evil manner. Macho-Borg laughs louder and more evil than his henchmen though. The camera then moves to show Megan Fox-Willis leaning against the wall in a white tank top and daisy dukes laughing along with Macho-Borg and his pals!! She has a soda cup with a straw in her hand.

MEGAN FOX-WILLIS: I’m so glad I broke you out of prison and let my dumb ass Dad think you kidnapped me so that we could take over the country together! Being the President’s daughter was so boring! (She accidentally spills the soda all over her white tank top. It’s Mr Pibb) Oops! now I’m all sticky! I better take a shower and wash my boobs!

Megan Fox-Willis walks away. The scene briefly cuts to a steamy shower where you can see her figure outlined in steam. After roughly 15 minutes of that the scene fades back to the Rock in his car. You hear loud car noises indicating he is driving very, very fast. His video phone rings. You can see on the screen that the caller ID says “Vin Diesel” The Rock casually reaches over and hits “Decline” on the call. He dials Jason Statham, who immediately answers and you see his face on the screen. He is slamming a Monster Energy Drink.

THE ROCK: Did Vin Diesel try to call you? JASON STATHAM: Yeah. (he chuckles) I declined the call. THE ROCK: Yeah, me too. (he chuckles and the Bud Lite dispensary built into his dash shoots out a cold can for The Rock to crack open and chug like a boss) JASON STATHAM: Are you sure our old friend who deals in illegal weapons is gonna want to see us? Didn’t one of us fingerbang his wife on accident? THE ROCK: Don’t worry about that, I brought a gift for him!

The scene cuts to the two very fast cars driving through a narrow hole in a mountain which ascends into a cavern. You can see that the road is coming to an end very soon but the cars are not slowing down! At the last second each car makes a huge jump into complete darkness. You hear loud thuds. What happened? The darkness lingers for suspensful purposes. All of a sudden the zooming noises of fast cars comes back! There is light again! The cars are back on another narrow road and after another minute they come skidding to a stop. They have arrived at the secret lair of their old friend the illegal weapons dealer played by Snoop Dogg. Our heroes find themselves in front of a large metal door with a security camera pointed right at them. They hear Snoop Dogg’s voice over an intercom

SNOOP DOGG: I thought I told you son’s a bitches never to come back to my illegal weapons lair! THE ROCK: You did, but this is important. The fate of the American Super Bowl is at stake. Plus I brought you this (He holds up a very large bag of marijuana) SNOOP DOGG: Is that... are you fuckin’ with me? It can’t be? THE ROCK: Ya bro, it’s Rarijuana, the rarest strain of marijuana in the whole world. The only kind you have never smoked before. This whole 50 pounds of it is yours but you gotta help us kill my cyborg brother and save the American Super Bowl.

The metal door opens. The scene cuts to Snoop Dogg rolling a joint. A Cypress Hill song plays in the background (doesn’t matter which one) He lights it up, takes a puff and exhales

SNOOP DOGG: So why you wanna kill your Cyborg brother? I thought you put his ass in prison? THE ROCK: He got out. Again. I finally realized it’s my duty to kill him. I’m ready to do it this time. I just need a Cyborg killing weapon and you are the only illegal weapons dealer in the world who knows how to make them. JASON STATHAM: Were also sorry we accidentally did finger stuff with your wife. We had a lot of Bud Lite and we didn’t know your marriage was so serious. SNOOP DOGG: Alright boys, I’m in. I’m still kind a mad about the finger stuff but if this is for the sake of America I have to do it. Plus this weed is fuckin dope son! I got just what you need to kill that Cyborg prick.

The scene fades back to our heroes driving their cars super fast down the highway. Probably just use the same footage from earlier to save money. A different song is playing. It’s some sort of Bon Jovi song remixed with rapping on it. No one is actually sure if they like it or not but it doesnt matter. The Rock’s video phone starts ringing again. The caller ID Says Vin Diesel. He casually hits the decline button. He’s still top nude.

The hereos cars are shown driving into a small suburban area. They are not going very fast. They come to a proper stop (no skidding) in front of a small home. The heroes exit their cars, Monster Energy Drink in hand, head to the porch and ring the doorbell. The Rock’s Mother, played by Tyra Banks answers the door.

THE ROCKS MOM: Oh my goodness! What a surprise! My baby boy and his fast driving friend Jason Statham! Please come on in, I was just baking cookies! Would you like some lemonade? JASON STATHAM: No thanks ma’am, we brought some Monster Energy Drinks and Bud Lite’s with us. We never go anywhere without them, and if we do they are available almost everywhere that energy drinks and beer are sold! THE ROCKS MOM: Oh you boys and your drinks! (she laughs at her joke) Now tell me baby what brought you here THE ROCK: Mom... I don’t know how to say this, but it’s about my brother the cyborg.... THE ROCKS MOM: Oh Macho-Borg! He’s in the kitchen right now helping me with the cookies! JASON STATHAM: Crikey! (chugs the rest of his Monster Energy Drink, Cracks a Bud Lite) THE ROCK: I better go say hello (He looks very concerned, he briskly and with concealed fury heads towards the kitchen) You two stay here.....

Scene cuts to the kitchen. Macho-Borg is wearing an apron and leaning on the counter with his arms folded. He has been waiting for The Rock. He has a menacing grin on his stupid cyborg face.

MACHO-BORG: How predictable brother! I knew you would come here to tell Mother that you finally have to kill me. That is why you came here isn’t it? (He takes a bite out of a cookie) THE ROCK: You sly son of a bitch! You know I can’t whoop your ass here at Mom’s house because I have strong family values that only get stronger with each adventure I have! Now you mark my words if you are trying to blow up the American Super Bowl, I will kill you! I will rip off your Cyborg dick and shove it so far up your mechanical asshole that you will be shitting nuts and bolts for a week! MACHO-BORG: HA! You just wait little brother, you have no idea what’s coming! THE ROCK: And where’s the Presidents sexy daughter? If you put a finger up her, I swear to God (Macho-Borg interrupts him) MACHO-BORG: Oh I put more than a finger in her! And I’m gonna put more than a finger in your precious President before I’m done.... (Mom walks in, the boys relax their posture and pretend they were getting along) THE ROCKS MOM: Now what’s all the racket in here? You boys better be getting along our no ones getting any cookies! MACHO-BORG: Everythings fine Mom, I was just telling The Rock the same story I told you about how I was legally let out of prison becuase I’m super innocent and never did any crimes. THE ROCKS MOM: Yes my baby, I’m sure your brother The Rock realizes now how innocent you were. Now let’s go to the living room and eat cookies and discuss our strong family values!

Everyone heads to the living room for cookies and Bud Lite. Macho-Borg excuses himself first, saying he has work to do so he has to leave. The Rock and Jason Statham excuse themselves for the same reason. It’s a bunch of bulls shit but it segues to a bad ass car chase. Soon we see Macho-Borg driving fastly down the highway followed closely by the Rock and Jason Statham in their cherry red hot rod super cars. You see the cars zoom and zip and zap all over the road, moving from left to right very fastly and very furiously. The engines are loud and the tires are loud and there is smoke and sparks all over. Overhead views of the cars are cut with split seconds of the drivers gripping their steering wheels very furiously. “Kickstart My Heart” from Motley Crue plays under the car noises. If your drunk uncle was still alive he would lose his shit over this scene. This bull shit goes on until the song ends then Macho-Borg shoots oil slicks out of the back of his car, giving him the edge over his persuers and ultimately gives them the slip.

The scene cuts to our heroes lair. The Rock and Jason Statham are pacing furiously around the room, throwing punches in the air and grunting.

THE ROCK: FUCK! We were so close! I can’t believe we fell for that oil slick bullshit! FUCK! (he throws both his fists into some drywall, when he pulls them out he has a Bud Lite in each fist!) JASON Statham: I feel like a fool too bro, but we need to start focusing on saving the American Football Super Bowl, we know that’s his next move. THE ROCK: (throws down the empy Bud Lites he just slammed like a boss) You’re right bro. Let’s do this! (He embraces Jason Statham and gives him a fast peck on the cheek)

The scene fades to only 1 car on the highway. The Rock and Jason Statham are sharing a car this time, as they are undercover. The video phone rings. Thinking it’s Vin Diesel, they both reach for the decline button. Then the realzie that it’s President Bruce Willis and draw their hands back. They mutter some cuss words then one of them presses the button to answer the call

PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: Where the fuck is my daughter you goddamn third rate A-Team wanna be assholes? Looks like your out for a joyride while that animal Macho-Borg is probably 3 fingers deep in her B-Hole! Get your asses to the Superbowl and save America or so help me I will shove an American Flag so far up your ass it will come out your skull so the whole US Military can salute it! FUCK YOU! (He hangs up. Our heroes did not get a word in)THE ROCK: He sounds kinda mad. Our plan better work

The scene fades to the New England Patriots NFL practice. Head Coach Bill Bellicheck has all of his players huddled around waiting for him to instruct them on their next practice drills. All of a sudden The Rock emerges from behind him in full NFL Football gear. He wears the number 01 on his Jersery. He stands next to the Coach

COACH BILL: Listen up you fuckin’ football players, this is The Rock. He’s our new Quarterback for the Superbowl. That’s right, you heard me! Tom Brady your’e benched!

The football players all look shocked as fuck. Tom Brady on the bench? For this unkown player? For the Super Bowl? What could the explanation for this be?

THE ROCK: Now I know this shit seems crazy, but you just have to trust me as your new Quarterback for the NFL American Superbowl. I hope eventually you can accept me as family and we grow a strong bond together (He opens a Monster Energy Drink and takes a little tiny sip) COACH BILL: That’s right Maggots! The Rock is in charge of this team now! Drop and give me 500!

The camera pans to Jason Statham, who is looking for suspicious activity from the top of the bleachers with binoculars. At the opposite end of the field he sees some janitors and other workers moving trash cans and cleaning things up getting ready for the big game. He sees vendors stocking carts in the bleachers. He gets on his walkie talkie and let’s the Rock know he doesn’t see anything suspcious yet. The Rock talks back to him on his secret helmet communicator and let’s him know to keep his eyes open becuase the game begins in a few hours. The scene fades to the basement of the stadium where Macho-Borg and his goons are dressed up like stadium janitors and are loading the plutonium bomb into a hot dog cart. The camera pans to people lining up outside of the George Washington Stadium. Then it pans to a VIP booth where President Bruce Willis has already been escorted in before the crowd. He is surrounded by Men In Black. One of them is Tommy Lee Jones. You can tell shit is fastly getting serious and is no doubt about to get furious! Fade to the Patriots locker room. The Rock is giving a motivational speech to the team he just joined hours ago. He is only wearing a towel around his waste. The towel has a little red corvette embroidered on it.

THE ROCK: I know we only recently formed a strong bond during our brief practice on the field and somewhat longer time in the showers afterwards, but I already feel like we are becoming family, and we all know that’s what it takes to win a Superbowl, am I right team? (He cracks a Bud Lite) COACH BILL: OH HELL YEAH FOOTBALL PLAYERS!!!!! (He slaps the Rock on the ass) The football players all yell and scream in excitement and crack their own Bud Lites and slap eachother’s assess silly. Except for Tom Brady he is sitting on a bench on the other end of the locker room with his Supermodel wife counting huge stacks of money. They are both nude.

It’s gametime. The stadium is full of excited people. The teams take the field. The announcer tells the crowd that Tom Brady is not playing tonight. The crowd is pissed off beyond belief.  The Patriots get the ball first. First snap of the game The Rock throws the ball all the way down to the end zone and scores a touchdown. The crowd now loves him. The Patriots defense takes the field and the Rock gets on his secret helmet cam to Jason Stathom. Jason is wondering the basement of the stadium frantically searching for the bomb or Macho-Borg or one of his goons. Anything to help end this movie. He is now with Michelle Rodriguez and some pit bulls.

THE ROCK: Anything yet? We need to find that bomb! JASON: Not yet, but I’ve called in some back up. Our intel says Macho-Borg plans to blow things up during the halftime show THE ROCK: If he fucks up the DMX half time show I will kill him twice! JASON: I know you love DMX but focus on stalling the game! MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ: Yeah let your ego go and throw a few interceptions ya big lunk! THE ROCK: Michelle! What are you doing here? JASON: That’s the back up I told you about! THE ROCK: I’ll stall the game the best I can, you keep looking for by brother so I can kill him and save America! I gotta take the field, The Rock out.

Fade to an unknown part of the stadium. Macho-Borg, Megan Fox-Willis and some goons have DMX tied to a chair. Everyone has huge guns and cool ninja weapons and theres some pit bulls. They are watching the field from a monitor.

GOON#1: That new Quarterback the Patriots have is insane! Damn! (The goon falls to the ground with a smoking hole in his head. Macho-Borg towers over him with smoke coming from his machine gun) MACHO-BORG: Touchdown bitch. (he glances over all the other goons) Any other Patriots fans here? I didn’t think so. (Megan Fox-Willis is obviously turned on by this. I guess show her hard nips blasting out her white tank top or something. Macho-Borg grabs her waste and shoves his robot tongue down her throat for a minute) I can’t wait until half time (He begins evil laughter, everyone else follows) AMERICA WILL BE MINE!!!!! (more evil laughter)

Fade back to the field. There is only a minute left on the game clock. It’s almost half time. The Patriots are beating whatever team they are playing by a score of 28-0. You see the Rock on the sideline looking frantic, but battle ready. Pan to President Bruce Willis in his VIP box, his fists are wrapped tightly around crushed Bud Lite cans, he is angry as fuck. Pan to Jason and Michelle and her pit bulls still searching the stadium for Macho-Borg and the bomb. Pan to unsuspecting crowd members going crazy over the game. Pan to Tom Brady making love to his supermodel wife on a huge pile of 500 dollar bills in the locker room. Pan to DMX tied to a chair in a dim closet. Pan to the hot dog cart with the plutonium bomb inside it. Pan to Megan Fox-Willis buttcheeks in tight jeans with a small oil stain on them. Pan to a Monster Energy Drink ad on the jumbotron. Halftime is here. Shit is about to pop off son!!!!

The clock hits zero, the buzzer rings. The teams leave the field and in a few short minutes a large stage is erected on the field for DMX. All of America is watching at home on the television, they can’t wait to hear him perform a medley of songs that they kind of remember from 30 years ago. The beat drops as a man parachutes from a helicopter above with a microphone in his hand. but when the man lands it’s not DMX! It’s not even a man! It’s Macho-Borg! The crowd looks confused and upset. the beat stops with the sound of a screeching record. Goons with machine guns and ninja weapons and pit bulls fill the stage around him.

MACHO-BORG: Listen up America! I’ve planted a plutonium atomic bomb in this stadium and unless you give me 10 million dollars and let me be the President, then you will never find out how the American Superbowl ends! On top of the bomb I’ve planted, I’ve got The Presidents daughter and America’s Sweetheart DMX held hostage so don’t even think about fucking with me! If I see any sign of the Rock or anyone else trying to stop me I will blast plutonium up all your asses so hard there won’t be any more asses to blast! Speaking of the Rock send him up here, unarmed so I can execute his punk ass in front of the whole world!!!!

All of a sudden a cherry read super sports car blast through the tunnel where the players take the field from, it’s  going faster than any car in this movie has gone! It’s clearly the most furious car as well. The car hits a ramp that’s there for some reason and flies onto the stage, wiping out half the goons with guns (the dogs scurry away unharmed) and comes to a skidding halt half inch from Macho-Borg. The door opens up like the Delorean in back to the future, smoke poors out. It’s the Rock! He jumps out the car. He’s top nude.

THE ROCK: You wanted me, here I am, unarmed...except for these arms! (He flexes his muscles and tosses his arms up in cool fight poses) MACHO-BORG: You arrogant bastard! You think I won’t blow this place sky high with both of us here? You don’t have a choice! You need to bow down and kiss my Cyborg ass or America is done for! THE ROCK: You’re forgetting one thing Macho-Borg. I’ve formed strong bonds and grown closer to my friends over many adventures and we have heart, we are family! One time you were my brother, but now your just an evil cyborg, and evil cyborgs can’t win! MACHO-BORG: ENOUGH!!!!! This ends now!!!! THE ROCK: You’re right.....

The camera pans up to the sky. Optimus Prime is floating down, he gently scoops up the hot dog cart with the bomb in it and jets back up to the sky, throwing it into the sun. You see it explode.

MACHO-BORG: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! (He’s on his hands and knees now, he knows he has been defeated. But probably not without a sweet car chase)

Jason Stathom and Michelle Rodriguez have now made it to the stage. DMX and an ton of pit bulls are with them. They have sweet machine guns and Monste Energy Drinks.

JASON: What just happened? THE ROCK: That’s my son Optimus Prime. You’re not the only one who called in for back up! MICHELLE: Your son?!?!?! THE ROCK: I don’t have time to explain right now, we need to get this creep to a private area so I can execute him. (The turn back to Macho-Borg but he is gone!) JASON: Shit.... (He points to the VIP box above) Where’s President Bruce Willis? DMX: You guys go, I got things under control here! (He pics up the microphone and makes dog noises and the music comes back on)

The crowd goes fucking nuts, this was the best half time show they ever saw. The Rock, Jason and Michelle jump into the car on stage and fastly drive away. Pan to DMX rocking the stage with whatever song is cheapest to license. Pan to Tom Brady in the locker room suiting up with a smirk on his face. Pan to Optimus Prime flying further into space back to Endor. Pan to Macho-Borg and Megan Fox-Willis in a fast driving sports car with President Bruce Willis tied up and passed out in the back seat.

MEGAN FOX-WILLIS: Damn the Rock and his sexy abs and huge muscles and smooth balls! Now what are we going to do? The plutonium bomb is gone, DMX is back on stage, the Superbowl is safe! We still have my Dad the President, but how are we going to make this work? We need to take over America or I’m not letting you do sex to me anymore with your weird robot dink! MACHO-BORG: We go back to our lair and figure this out. We still have the President, we can still take America! Settle down! MEGAN F-W: But what about the Rock and his fast driving and furious driving friends that he has formed family like bonds with? Why didn’t you blast him with your machine gun on the stage? You just had run your mouth when you should have been shooting! Maybe I should have let you rot in prison! You can’t get this job done you wack ass cyborg fuck! Second rate Terminator! I should dump you at the scrap yard! MACHO-BORG: You dumb... SHIT! we’ve got company (Three super fast sports cars can be seen in his rearview mirror)

Here is the big ass car chase that everyone is waiting for.  The cars go fast all over various roads and in tunnels and over bridges and valleys and deserts and whatever the fuck else. Just lots of the same shit you have seen earlier in this film and in the other films. Finally, Macho-Borg pushes a button in his car and it starts to transform into a Cyborg car. It looks like a normal car to begin with, then it gets taller, wider, metallic armor starts to cover it, the wheels get bigger. It basically looks like some crazy sci-fi monster truck with weapons. It has a huge Monster Energy drink logo on the hood. You see the 3 drivers of the other car (The Rock, Jason Stathom and Michelle Rodriguez) get surprised looks on their faces, they know they are in for the biggest battle yet. The heroes communicate on their radios

JASON: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! MICHELLE: You must be seeing what I’m seeing! THE ROCK: Alright team, it’s time to kick ass and form a deeper family bond while we do it! I’m gonna kill the shit out of my cyborg brother once and for all! (He cracks a Bud Lite as expected) JASON: Were with you bro! Let’s do this for America!

You hear engines roaring and tires skidding and all that car shit. Macho-Borgs sci-fi monster truck has stopped and is turned to face our heroes, waiting for them to catch up, taunting them by shooting flames out of some huge ass guns on the hood. All 3 of the heroes cars get about a quarter mile away from the Cybrog truck and skid to a stop. They talk to each other on their radios again

JASON: I’m definitely retiring after this shit. How do we do this The Rock? MICHELLE: Yeah what is the plan here? THE ROCK: You two stay put, I got this.

The Rock gets out of his car and starts walking towards the sci-fi monster truck. He leaps in the air with all the fury and fastness he can, he punches the truck square in the grill and the whole truck falls apart into rubble and nuts and bolts. You can see Macho-Borg, President Bruce Willis and Megan Fox-Willis lying on the ground in the rubble, spread out from each other. Macho-Borg is the only one who gets up. He stumbles over to The Rock. He is in bad shape.

MACHO-BORG: You were right brother, I was a piece of shit. THE ROCK: I’m always right.

The Rock puts his fist through his brothers chest and pulls out a half human - half cyborg heart. It’s dripping with both oil and blood. He eats it. Macho-Borg falls dead to the ground. The Rock pulls out his boner and takes a piss on his brothers corpse. Jason and Michelle look on from the distance, they are both super impressed with their friend. They feel like they have formed a closer family bond with him. The President and his daughter have got up now too. Everyone is huddled around each other now enjoying the victory. They don’t realize that Megan Fox-Willis was the once responsible for breaking Macho-Borg out of prison and aiding him in his evil plans.

PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: You fast and furious fucks nearly killed me and killed America, but you pulled it off. I still hate you but I give credit where it is due. The Rock, if you want to bang my daughter that is fine now, just get me back to the White House I have important President shit to do. THE ROCK: On behalf of all of us, you are welcome. I might bang your daughter later, thanks. Michelle will take you back to the White House. You know how to reach us sir. God bless the USA

The scene fades back to the heroes lair, the same setting as the beginning of the movie. They are realxing after the mission, pondering their futures.

JASON: Well The Rock, I’m definitely retiring. I’m booking a flight to Hawaii tonight. I just want to thank you for all the adventures and brotherly love. THE ROCK: You know brother, I believe you this time. I love you, but not in a gay way. (They hug and kiss on the lips) JASON: What are you gonna do? THE ROCK: I’m going to space to see my son, Optimus Prime, we have some business to take care of and to tell you the truth, I haven’t been a very good father.... JASON: You know, you are gonn have to explain that one to me sometime

The conversation is interrupted by a video phone ringing. It’s Vin Diesel. Jason reaches over and accepts the call

JASON: Vin, what’s up? VIN DIESEL: I’ve been trying to reach you guys all week! I heard that Macho-Borg broke out of prison! I smell an adventure cooking!

The Rock and Jason Statham laugh and hit the button to hang up. The credits roll as you hear the sound of a Bud Lite cracking open, then you hear some car noises then some butt rock song remixed with DMX rapping over it plays. The audience goes home to clean the poop and jizz out of their pants.

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