#here have some random shit I made in biology instead of paying attention

[downywrites]

Purpled is interrogated about his linkage to the alien things that have been randomly appearing everywhere. Unfortunately for him, he genuinely has no clue. Aka, just an excuse for lee Purpled. Literally.

Ayo, mates! My requests are still open, if anyone wants anything written!

The whole alien theme was getting out of hand, in Philza’s opinion. The bird man couldn’t find a single place that hadn’t been affected by either the egg or the suspicious alien structures that kept popping up everywhere. They were pretty, but they were a nuisance otherwise. Tommy had been recently complaining of them appearing in front of his house, blocking his way out directly. Tubbo and Ranboo had complaints of the same caliber, having to blow the structure up with a few well-placed pieces of dynamite in order for them to get to their respective places of work on time. Techno had also spoken of random failed ship specimens slamming into him before, although the veracity of that claim is still hotly debated at the dinner table. Nonetheless, it was a problem. A very large, relatively irritating problem. And he knew one of the most likely causes was walking around the area at this very moment.

He scanned the area, sharp eyes undulled by the years scouring the grasslands. A small speck of purple made him grin. There he was.. Purpled. The alien hybrid was known to be a wanderer of his species, getting stranded on the SMP after his UFO failed to take flight again. Then, almost mysteriously, it disappeared. (As in, it blew up, and everyone tried to ignore the shrapnel that landed surreptitiously on their houses.) He had taken to wandering around, fiddling with the extra structures lying about with a look of indifference and a slight flicker of confusion, which added onto the SBI’s belief that he knew what they were, at the very least. Thankfully for the eagle hybrid, the alien usually didn’t pay attention to his surroundings when not in the field of battle. The key word there was usually, though. If he didn’t time his ‘attack’ correctly, he might get a wingtip chopped off by his quick-access dagger. Kneeling low to the ground, he slowly moved closer to the younger of the two. The other didn’t seem to notice, lounging about underneath the shade of a specifically tall tree. A bee landed on his face as he did, but he seemed to not notice, too absorbed in his thoughts. Perfect. The grass gently whacked his face as he slunk closer. Closer….a little more….

Purpled shrieked at the sudden sensation of being tackled to the floor, hand automatically reaching for his knife holster. His eyes shot open to stare straight into bolt blue. “What the fuck?!?” “Sorry mate, I thought you’d run away from me if I walked up to you normally.” He spluttered, mind quickly processing the absurdity of that statement. “So you tackled me instead?” Philza grinned from above him. “I mean, sounds about right.” Purpled narrowed his eyes at him. Wariness was a part of his genes, and he sure as hell didn’t think now would be a good time to let down his guard. “We’ve been wondering what the alien sculptures were. Y’know, the ones that keep miraculously appearing in the mornings. Half-startled the shit out of some of my pals.”

“Uh huh.” The alien deadpanned at the other, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “And this is the reasoning behind tackling me because…?” “I thought you’d know. It does look like you’re familiar with the markings and stuff on the sides of it. Is this true?”: The avian tightened his grip ever so slightly, in the hopes that he would take the hint and answer the question in a straightforward manner. “...Well, I don’t believe I can help you with that. I am not of that species of alien.”

It was Philza’s turn to deadpan at him. He cocked a corn-silk colored eyebrow at him, all playfulness forgotten in the staredown that he and Purpled were currently engaging in. “No, really. What’s going on, mate?”

“First of all, I’m not your mate, and second of all, I still don’t know. What, do you think I can magically glean things from markings?” Philza scoffed slightly. “Doesn’t your species do that? You know, your clothing and your fancy underskin lights?”

“Well,” Purpled answered, matter of fact tone slowly driving the hardcore warrior up the wall, “Our underskin lights and clothes don’t always match up, either. Do humans not have accents or...what was it?...dialects. Yes, that’s the word.”

Philza retorted, “I thought you were a child of your species. How the hell did you even get here, anyways? Do you think your family’s out looking for you? Is that why you don’t know anything outside of your species?” His words struck home.

A small spark of anger lit up in the backs of the alien hybrid’s eyes, pushing at Philza with a strength the other didn’t know he possessed. When he spoke again, his voice was brittle like ice frosting over wood. “My family didn’t want a mutant like me.” The avian felt a pang of empathy for him, loosening his hold a little. His eyes softened, a look of pity slowly growing on his face. The alien didn’t seem to like that very much. In a blur of purple and moss green cloak, Phil found himself smothered by his own garments, his prey’s footsteps leaving him behind. He shoved it off himself, trotting in the same direction to catch up. “Hey! Get back here!”  The sound of his footsteps on the pavement echoed slightly, catching his attention. With a powerful beat of his wings, he boosted himself onto the street, sandals making a screeching noise as they made contact with the cobble. A small shape in his line of sight made him ready himself for another boost, wing muscles rippling and wind blowing his family braid around.

Purpled thought he was safe. He had done everything to plan. It was all within his calculations. That was, until the sound of wing beats caught his attention. ‘Can he fly still? I thought his wing was damaged? Oh shit!’ He pushed  himself a little more, panting from exertion. He was tempted to use his own to get away, but he shoved the idea back down to the pit of hell it came from. ‘Oh, fuck no. Not dealing with that trauma chapter today.’ He swiveled his antennae around, straining to hear wingbeats… or any noise, for that matter. Confused, he slowed down to a jog, scanning the area for his pursuer. “Where..?” Suddenly, the world careened sideways. He found himself in a very familiar situation. “Uhhh...hi?” “Hello, mate. And sorry, mate.” The hardcore warrior unbottled a potion quickly, the grey potion swishing around as he did so. WIth a flick of his wrist, he poured it over the boy below him. The cold tingle of the potion made him yelp and buck under him. “No! What are you doing?!?”

As the potion’s effects began to make itself known, Purpled’s mind began to fog up, drowsiness slowly suffusing through his body. “If you won’t tell me straight up, I’ll have to enlist some help in finding out.” The alien wanted to retort, but the words stuck in his throat. Against his volition, his eyes began to flutter shut, his focus shifting from trying to push him off to just keeping himself awake. Philza decided to be a little daring. Before he lost his nerve, he pushed his hands through the boy’s platinum-blonde hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

If he had any last fight in him, it dissipated. With a small whine, the boy’s eyes shut fully and did not open again, his chest rising and falling with his slow breathing. “There we go. And now, I just need to recruit my boys to help me get to the bottom of this mystery. No more of those stupid scupltures, not if I can help it.”  

“Seriously, are we just going to wait until he wakes up?”

“How else would we get him to wake up? Prime, Techno. Who do you think we are, brutes?”

Through the thinnest slit of sight he could, Purpled glanced at the menagerie of people nervously, hoping fervently that his antennae haven’t given away his consciousness. With the slightest movements of his limbs,he tested the bonds tying him down to the table. He was slightly grateful for the position, seeing that it had kept him from being in the direct line of sight of the duo next to him. The partially spread-eagle position still kept him in a state of unease, instincts screaming into his ears to struggle, to escape. The two people arguing sounded familiar. ‘Wilbur and Techno, maybe?’ It sounded similar, although he was pretty sure he was used to hearing the softer tones of the former’s voice from Ghostbur.

The only sight he had was the inside of the kitchen, the whole place brimming with chaos and entropy and… life. The fruit and food in the pantry was messy, certainly the product of the other people in the house. A twinge of longing snagged in his throat, stopping his smooth breathing pattern for a split second. He prayed that none of them noticed. It didn’t seem as if they did, continuing their banter and arguing over how they were to wake him. A heavy body got up from a chair, the furniture making an ugly shriek as it rubbed over the wood. Equally heavy footsteps moved into the kitchen, appearing in the boy’s view. The visage of the piglin made him sigh inwardly.

‘Yep, I think that’s Techno. And if Philza, Techno, and Wilbur are around together, that means the whole Sleepy Bois Inc. is here.’ An afterthought gave him pause. ‘And Tommy. I really hope Tommy’s not here right now. That would be embarrassing.’ Another pair of footsteps made him force his antennae from moving towards the sound mentally. ‘Shit, this is going to be a challenge. Curse my stupid biology! Why couldn’t I have had a better pair of sensory equipment?’

Philza came into his view, sending a slight chill down his spine. Was it fear? Was it adrenaline? He didn’t know. Whatever it was, it made his heart beat louder and louder, blocking out any ambient sound in the room. “Is he awake yet, lads?” A small frustrated huff escaped the only other person in his view. “Not that I know of. He’s out cold. How much of the sleep potion did you give him?” The avian had the audacity to scratch his head and look away sheepishly. “..the whole pot.”

At the startle and the turn of the head that the winged warrior got, it was evident that it wasn’t supposed to be used like that. “Heh? A whole potion?!?” Techno morphed into a significantly sleeker body, arms stretching out to grab at both of his shoulders. He shook the other slightly, eyes still wide with astonishment. “Why did you use a full potion on a child? Phil?!?” Wilbur piped up from behind him. “Shh, Techno. If you wake him up now, I don’t think we can discuss the plan of interrogation.” ‘Interrogation? Are they going to hurt me?!?’ A slight burst of panic flooded through his veins, forcing him to focus on tamping down his reactions in favor of listening to the others around him without clueing them into his awakeness. ‘Uh huh. The plan. As if we didn’t already discuss this twice before.” Techno made gestures he couldn’t quite understand. “We make sure we don’t hurt him, we get the info, so on and so forth.” Even his gestures were sarcastic. Purpled liked him already.

“Let’s just get on with it. Just wake him up already.” A smile played on Phil’s face. “Mate, I don’t think we need to wake him up…” He trailed off, tone smug and knowing. His antennae, the fucking traitors, curled up a little subconsciously as the man made side eye contact with him. The avian all but crowed. “I knew it. How long have you been awake, Purp?” The jig was up. He opened his eyes completely, wincing a little at the sudden burst of light coming from the skylight above him.

A gasp escaped Wilbur- at least, he thinks it was from Wilbur. It’s kind of hard to see who is who when you’re focused on one person and one person alone. “Don’t call me that.” His voice sounded unused, as if he had forgotten to drink water before he went to bed. Phil didn’t say anything in reply to that, simply grinning wider. “So, the three of us decided that we wanted to get info from you in a way that didn’t hurt you. It’s not something I’d like to have on my consciousness, the harming of an innocent person on the sidelines of something. Besides, it’s not that important.” Purpled’s muscles relaxed a little, reminding him of how tense he was at the moment. “But. I still need info, and it seems that ribbing you again and again won’t be effective for your caliber of stubbornness.” He had to bite back a retort to that, trying not to ignite the ire of the most merciful person in the room.

“I decided on something that I can guarantee has never been used on you as a convincing technique.” The avian moved closer to him, purple eyes following his every movement. WIth a slow, deliberate movement that he must have learn from ages of working with his hand-eye coordination, he placed his hands on his stomach, resting his arms there. Purpled tilted his head, puzzled. “How is this going to make me tell you anyth-”

He choked on his words at the sudden sensation of Phil’s talons scraping on his stomach. He froze in place, willing himself to not flinch or show any sign of weakness in front of the older. Wilbur and Techno stayed back, watching Philza’s movements with a focus that was almost unnerving to the teen. “What does this feel like? You stopped talking, are you okay?”

The avian definitely knew what he was doing, testing out different spots on his stomach with the accuracy of a well-learned tickler. Purpled trembled lightly in his bonds, still trying his best to not show his reactions. It was a challenge, especially so because of the bondage tugging at his limbs with every slight shift in his positioning. The feeling of being helpless was equally as maddening as the careful touch on his tummy. Even through the fabric, he knew that he wouldn’t last long with the way he was tickling him.

Just when the boy thought that he had gotten used to the sensations, the warrior shifted to his sides, nails barely scratching through his hoodies. “Snrk!” ‘Shit.’ “Oh? That was something! Purpled, you can make this stop if you tell us about those structures landing everywhere. Come on, little guy!” His antennae twitched slightly at his words. He shook his head, eyes determined and sharp. “N-no.” A sarcastic voice sounded out behind Philza. “Ooh, baby’s first words.” Purple bristled at the comment. “Why, you-”

With his mouth open, it was impossible to hide the squeak that escaped him as the light scratching turned into kneading. “H-hey!” Techno snorted. “Hook, line, and sinker. He is ticklish, Phil. Just need to find the ‘on’ switch.” Purpled really, really didn’t want him to find any of his sweet spots. He squirmed away from the winged man, trying to evade his clutches now that he was aware of the effectiveness of his interrogation methods.

“Stohop!”

“Oh, no you don’t. No escaping, Purp!”

He squeezed both of the alien hybrid’s sides, kneading a little more into the softer spots. The younger couldn’t hold his laughter back anymore. “Nohoho! Thihihis ihihihis uhuhunfahahair!” His legs and arms strained against the bonds, body bucking and thrashing in a vain attempt to escape the sensation arcing through his body.

“What’s unfair? All you need to do is to give us the info!” Phil’s eyes trailed up to his antennae. “Aww, your little feelers are getting all trembly! That’s so cute!” At the mention of his appendages, he turned his head to the side bashfully, a small bit of flush coming to color his face. “Shuhuhut uhuhuhup!”

“Is that flustering for you?” The eagle cooed a little, before an idea came to mind. “Hey, just a question for you...are your feelers sensitive?” Purpled’s eyes widened. “Noho!” The response was way too quick for his answer to be true. A cheshire grin slowly grew on his face, coinciding with the sinking/fluttering feeling pooling in his stomach. “Oho, is it your sweet spot?” His hands trailed teasingly from his sides up to his antennae, fingers barely grazing the bases of them. Just the lightest touch on them made him squirm and giggle. “Nohohonohoho! Nohohot thehere, p-plehease!”

“Oh? And why not, then?” Wilbur chipped in, chair making a squeaking noise as he stood up. “I think I’ll give you a helping hand, Phil.” A small, quiet “about time” escaped the avian’s mouth. Purpled wanted to speak on that, but the sensation of the light touch moving at such a sensitive spot made him bite his lip in a final resistance to the tingling sensation lingering there. He silenced himself, trying to stifle his giggles as well as he could. “What if I do this, Purp?”

The fingers scratched at either side of one of his antennae’s bases. He squealed, hiccupy laughter escaping him against his will. “EEE! Ihihihi! Nohohoho! Plehehease!” The alien hybrid shook his head, laughter squeaking a little when the movement accidentally scraped Phil’s nails against his skin. The fingers followed his movements, not giving him a moment to rest. Thankfully for him, the man ‘interrogating’ him seemed to understand how ticklish his feelers were, not doing much to speed up the tickling and absolutely destroy him. He was grateful for the moment of relatively gentle tickling, struggling slowly getting less and less and protests beginning to die more and more often before they escaped his mouth.

Subconsciously, his antennae curled closer to the avian’s fingers, as if they were trying to mutually stroke him back. The warrior glanced at Techno, then back at the feelers. ‘Is that some sort of sign that he likes it or something? Damn it, I should have tried to read up more about extraterrestrial body language.’ A sudden buck stopped him from wallowing in his thoughts. “AHA?!?”

“I knew your hips are a good spot!” He turned to look at his son, eyes snapping back to full focus. A beat of laughter from the younger below them passed. “Wilbur. Why did it take so long for you to get from the chair to here?” The musician shrugged. “Took my time, I guess.” Wilbur continued to rub slow circles into the squirming boy’s hipbones, a small smile playing on his face at the reactions he was getting from him. “Stohohop! Ihihihi-Ihihi cahahan’t!”

Purpled’s flustered facial expression and wide smile showed just how effective WIlbur and Phil’s tickling techniques were. The latter chuckled. “Guess the big strong bedwars player can’t handle a little tickling~” He spidered his fingers over his scalp teasingly, just barely grazing the feelers he was scratching earlier. The appendages twitched at the sensation, a small squeal escaping the owner through his already high-pitched laughter.  “NohohoHO tehehehe-AH!” His words were swallowed up by his own giggles.

Wilbur grinned triumphantly, kneading his hand into one hip while gently fluttering his fingers over the other. Purpled’s sweatpants blocked some of the sensations, but it wasn’t enough to keep the sparking feeling from coursing throughout his body like an adrenaline shot. He threw back his head, this time avoiding contact with the bird man’s hand. “You ready to tell us, mate?” The duo slowed down a little, giving him a chance to speak. Purpled gasped for air, a smile still plastered on his face. He panted, eyes glazed over a little from the exertion. “You...you guys suhuhuhuck…” His hands balled into fists, resolve (and lee mood) taking over for him. “Ihihihi’m nohohot gohohonna.” Wilbur scowled at him a little.

“Seriously? You have some stamina for a gangly kiddo.” “I’m not gangly!” “Says you. You’re so short.” He growled at the musician a little. Suddenly, a hand laced itself into his hair, making him flinch in surprise. “W-wha-?” “Shhh, Purp. Let me pet you for a bit. How does this feel?”

The fingers slowly raked down his scalp, careful not to nick the then skin. The feeling was heavenly. There was no denying it. Eyes fluttering shut, he pushed his head into his hand. His feelers twitched happily after each round of stroking, making Wilbur stifle a coo at the adorable sight. Techno put down his book, sighing. “Do you really need me to help-” A finger at his mouth stopped him from speaking.

“Shh, let Phil work his magic. Maybe he’ll be willing to give us the info then.” Wilbur whispered, his glasses slipping down on his nose and giving him a disheveled look. A single hoof-hand pushed it up for him. Soft silence surrounded the group for a bit, all for the low, rumbling purr that was emanating from Phil. Wait, from Phil? The two of them snapped to look at their father, a flash of surprise overtaking them both for a moment. Purpled was….purring? Almost reluctantly, the hardcore warrior untangled his hand from his hair, a whine and a stuttering purr following him a little with his head. “Hmm…”

“More headpats after you tell us.”

“Mmmmnooo….”

Purpled opened his eyes slowly, almost boneless in his relaxed state. Philza gently spidered his fingers over the alien hybrid’s neck, smiling slightly at the sleepy giggles it produced. “Aww, come on. You sure you don’t want to tell us, little guy?” Through his giggles, the alien shook his head no, a louder bout of laughter escaping him when the warrior’s hands trailed down to his collarbones.

“Ehehehehe!”

“Kitchy kitchy coo~”

He squealed quietly at the tease, his face blossoming with color again. Wilbur decided to join in again. He carefully traced shapes on the boy’s thighs, enjoying the hybrid’s laughter. “Man, your laugh is so cute! So, Purplee, you going to tell us yet? Or are you having too much fun?” Purpled squirmed in his bonds, sleepily nodding along to what he was saying. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You are?” A mumble underneath his breath. “Phil , what did he say?” The winged man chuckled. “He just said he didn’t know, he just wanted to fuck with us.” Techno snort-huffed. “Of course he did. We are so getting him back for that.” “Why not now?” Blood red eyes shifted to the floor, then back to the bound alien hybrid.

“Because. Look at him. Do you really want to snap him out of this?” Coffee-colored eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief. “Is the great Technoblade being soft for a lil guy?” Techno cleared his throat, shaking his head and making his ears flop. “No. Wilbur, no.” The musician walked closer to him, looking up to stare directly into his eyes. “Is the great Blood God getting whipped over a bedwars player?” A low growl cut  through the air. “Wilbur, if you don’t stop now-”

Another round of purring stopped him mid-sentence. “That’s it, Purp. You did great.” Phil glanced at the duo who had done virtually nothing to help him, a small glare hinted in the back of his eyes. ‘You will pay for this.’ Wilbur took a step back. Techno did the same, tail whipping at the floor in anticipation. The hardcore player treaded his hands deep into his silky hair, coaxing him back into a resting state. “Did you like this? I hope you did.” Sleepy eyes opened just barely, eyes twinkling with adoration. “....yea...will y’ do ‘t again?”

A breath that he didn’t know he was holding escaped with a happy trill and lilt. “Of course, mate. Sleep well.” For the second time that day, Philza gently coaxed the boy into slumber. A sleepy smile plastered on his face, Purpled’s chest rose and fell rhythmically once more, calm and deep like the lapping of a purple-platinum ocean. “Now, as for the fact that you two didn’t help me at all with that…” He stepped closer to his sons, wings spreading outwards like a rippling wave of pitch. Nervous giggles escaped Wilbur and Techno.

“Nonono! Phil, pleasE-”

Purpled didn’t wake until the morning rays shone down on his face, the scent of pancakes and the smell of home wafting into his nose. And, no, he didn’t inquire at all about why Techno and Wilbur refused to look the eldest in the house in the eyes.

It felt good to be with them.

He hoped it would always last.

#my writing #downywrites #downy writes #tickle fic #sfw tickle #my fic #mcyt tickle #dsmp tickle #lee!purpled #ler!wilbur #ler!philza

[hermannsthumb]

possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.

earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students

----

Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.

Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.

Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.

Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.

"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"

Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.

That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.

The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"

Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.

Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.

No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.

Or if Newt left the door unlocked.

More footsteps. Closer now.

Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)

Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?

Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.

The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—

Oh, fuck.

The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.

Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.

It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.

Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.

Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.

"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"

"Hold that thought," Newt says.

He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.

Hermann is still yelling at him.

"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"

Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.

Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"

"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."

Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."

"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"

"Well, obviously," Hermann says.

Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?

Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.

"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"

Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."

Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.

Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.

But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."

"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"

"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."

For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"

"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.

From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Bus Rides and Sweet Times

Pairing: Sam Alexander x Parker!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: None

Anon asked:  Can you do a Sam Alexander x Reader, but you're Peter Parker's sister??

A/N: Totally staying with the tradition of badmouthing Peter at the end of my oneshots and I’m proud of it. Sorry it’s so late btw, I was on a hiatus when you had requested it

On your first day of Advanced Biology you had been sweating buckets. You were attending a biology class ahead of your grade through the Accolades programme and were considering faking temporary illness to skip the day.

It was nerve wracking to have to go into a class where everybody was older than you and could bully you. Last thing you wanted was people to shove you in lockers like your older brother, Peter.

Well that was before he became friends with the school’s toughest football player but still. You didn’t really want to go through the embarrassment of being shoved in a locker for 5 years before finally making an unlikely friendship and then have a last good year of high school.

But when you stepped through the door, you were immediately relieved to see a familiar face.

Sam Alexander wasn’t a friend of yours, he was one to your brother and they weren’t even that close, but even then, seeing recognition on his face made you oddly relieved.

“Sit wherever, Miss Parker.” Said the teacher before returning to the board.

For a second you wondered about sitting next to Sam but then realized it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. So, you just moved to the back of the class and tried to blend in with the walls.

It was no secret that you were insecure about being the youngest person in the class. You never answered, never asked questions and always tried not to participate. That’s why the teacher was always surprised whenever you got the highest grades.

She always made sure to praise you in front of the entire class which made you embarrassed but still proud.

And that’s when she got the idea of you tutoring one of her students after school. And you being the innocent girl who just didn’t know how to say no to a teacher, agreed.

That’s when you started to spend more time with none other than Sam Alexander.

You should be annoyed but really you were relieved that it wasn’t any stranger.

Yet another time that Sam saved your sanity by just having a recognizable face.

**** 

“Hey do you mind keeping this whole tutoring thing a secret?”

“Why?”

A part in you was half expecting him to say something like he didn’t want people to know he was hanging out with a geeky younger girl even though you knew he wasn’t the type to be so rude, regardless of what Peter said about him.

“Well, your brother and my friends are really smart. If they found out I was getting tutored by a girl who was a grade below me...”

He scratched his cheek nervously and you melted. He was just as insecure and unsure as you were and while your intellect sometimes made you feel out of place, he felt the same way about his.

So, you nodded and set a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring nod.

“I promise I won’t say anything.”

“Your brother won’t be curious?”

“I’ll think of something.”

Unfortunately, you wouldn’t have too long to come up with a suitable excuse.

You quickly got to work and explained the concepts and making sure he understood everything you were telling him, even drawing diagrams and things like that because you figured he was a visual learner more than textual.

After nearly an hour spent in the library together, you noticed your brother come in with Harry and MJ, probably wanting to get some lab manuals for chemistry. Once he saw you with his sort of friend, he immediately made his way over to the pair of you.

“What’s going on?”

“Tutoring session.”

Sam immediately shot you a betrayed look but you didn’t even blink, turning back to your notes.

Just as you knew he would, your brother laughed and pointed at a slightly embarrassed Sam which made you irritated on the inside but you covered it with a plain expression.

“You’re getting tutored by my little sister?”

“Actually, he’s the one tutoring me.”

The two boys turned to you with shocked faces and you folded your arms over each other, raising a brow at Peter.

“What?”

“Yeah, I keep missing class because I’m the lab assistant and I end up running late so Sam here promised to keep me in the loop.”

It wasn’t a lie, you were the lab assistant during Chemistry and as a result always had to clean up after your classmates after the period was over, but Peter didn’t need to know that you still managed to reach class on time because the teacher would spend the first 5 minutes reviewing the previous lesson.

Just as you knew he would, Peter bought the excuse, returning to his friends and telling you that he’d pick you up from your part-time job today, trying to be a good brother. But you knew it was because he found your co-worker cute.

“Thanks for that.” Sam spoke gently and you waved him off, leaning towards him again and pointing to the diagram of an operator.

“No problem, now back to Lac Operon.”

****

The next few weeks are spent the same way. Sam slowly brought his grades up in class tests and progress quizzes but the teacher still wanted you to continue with the tutoring sessions as your midterms were coming up.

That’s how you end up meeting and spending hours of your time with Sam, but it never really goes beyond tutoring and you never see each other outside of the library.

That is until one day you’re going straight home instead of going to your job like you usually do. You end up taking the same bus as Sam and sit beside him because it was the only seat open that wasn’t beside some older guy or a child.

Sitting next to you, he plans to do the same but when he glances at you, you’re slowly drifting off to sleep, letting your head lol to the side in an uncomfortable position.

So, he gently rests your head on his shoulder, his heart skipping a beat when you cuddled closer to him. He watched you on the ride home, just wondering when was the last time you got some rest.

You were beautiful, yes, but he wondered about the dark circles underneath your eyes and the tired frown on your face as you leaned against him, silently realizing how haggard you looked for such a young girl.

You were trying to take all advanced classes but wasn’t naturally intelligent like your older brother so you ended up working till all hours trying to keep your grades up. He always knew that you worked hard but it was obvious that it was taking a toll on you.

So why hadn’t you ever said anything?

He wanted to tell you that you were perfect just the way you were and that you should take it easy but he knew you liked working hard and he found that really admirable.

The rest of the bus ride was just spent with him making sure you weren’t stirring or getting uncomfortable. Silently thinking you were beautiful. At the time it felt like you were the only 2 on the planet.

But what he didn’t know was that everybody on the bus were fangirling about how cute the two of you looked cuddled up on the bus seat. An older man was musing something about young love but Sam just thought he was remembering the good old days.

When the bus pulls up to your street, Sam gently wakes you up and tells you that your home. He even gets off at your stop to walk your drowsy self to the door where he meets Aunt May for the first time.

You were so tired you barely remembered Sam’s arm wrapped around you as he pulled you to the door. You thought your eyes were open but they were definitely closed and so he rang the doorbell for you because you were not awake enough to fish for your keys in your bag.

****

Ever since that day, Sam began to pay more attention to you. He always looked out for you in a silent way, never trying to bring to your attention that he was thinking of you.

“Hey check it out! The vending machine gave me two strawberry milks! Do you want one?”

“I got this pack of nuts but it has peanuts in it and I’m allergic so you can have it.”

“I’ll do a practice test and you can check it after I’m done. In the mean time you can take a nap.”

He took the bus home with you every day since then, saying that he came to your work when you were getting off for a smoothie even though there were a hundred places in New York that didn’t need him to come so far out

But you never said that to him because you liked going home with him, sometimes falling asleep together and sometimes listening to music, sharing earphones or even just quietly talking.

In the beginning he was afraid that you’d sleep and end up missing your bus or that you’d end up with a crick in your neck because of the position you fell asleep in but he liked taking the bus home with you, playing with your fingers gently while you napped peacefully beside him.

Once after Sam dropped you off at your house, you said your goodbyes to him and went inside, telling him you’d see him tomorrow. He politely declined Aunt May’s invites for dinner, saying that he had to get home because he had chores to do (training).

Around 10 minutes later, you left home again, going to pick up some rolls for dinner when you notice someone walking ahead of you but it’s only when the person walks underneath the lamppost do you recognize him.

“Sam?” You call out, wondering where he’s heading late in the night when his house was in the opposite direction.

“Oh shit.” 

Sam freezes in his steps, silently contemplating whether he should just run for it or actually turn around to face you. You call his name again and wonder if you actually got it wrong and he was just some random kid in your neighbourhood.

But then he turns around and it’s him, blushing bright red that you could see it even in the dark and his heart began beating quickly, seeing you make your way over to him.

“What are you doing here? I thought your house was down the block?”

He tried to think of something but his mouth got really dry before he figured he should just give up.

“Well, about that, it.... isn’t.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and trying to avoid making direct eye contact with you.

“What?”

“I live close to the school actually.”

“But you’ve been taking the bus home with me every day for like 2 weeks now.”

“Yeah, it’s just because I like taking the bus....and sitting next to you. Taking the bus was my excuse to spend more time with you.”

You could’ve sworn you swooned.

It was the first time you noticed just how crazy for you Sam was and it was exhilarating. To see this older boy standing in front of you and being vulnerable enough to be sweet and thoughtful.

It was kind of that little girl fantasy that you dreamt about back when you thought Cinderella and Rapunzel had been real. So, you can’t stop yourself from smiling when you notice how awkward Sam is beginning to get underneath your stare.

Sure, he wasn’t exactly prince charming but to be honest, to you, he was much better.

Prince Charming forgot what Cinderella looked like.

Like what the heck?

“You could’ve just asked me out on a date.”

“Well I wasn’t sure that you’d say yes.”

“Ask me now then.”

****

Dating Sam was everything you’d expect it to be. He was sweet and thoughtful, always taking you out and loving to spend time with you. Your tradition of him picking you up after work and taking the bus home turned into you greeting him after getting off with a kiss and then inviting him inside for dinner.

Even though you knew he didn’t live close here, he still wanted to drop you home. He said he was being considerate and loved spending time with you, which was true, but it was also because he was afraid you’d fall asleep on some other boy’s shoulder and fall in love with him.

Which was ridiculously specific but you still indulged him.

Peter didn’t find out initially because he always managed to miss Sam right when he got home because he was out crime fighting.

And you didn’t feel the need to bring it to his attention.

You knew he would find out one day though and the opportunity presented itself when he brought his friends home to live in the house because a fire had destroyed their dorms.

And with him came your boyfriend, outright grinning at the sight of you and you had to hide your laughter because you knew Sam was excited about having alone time with you at home without seeming suspicious.

But something was telling you with so many people in the house, you wouldn’t be getting any solitude for a long while.

May being kind of strict between the two of you, saying that you can’t close the doors was not surprising even though you knew she loved Sam. To Peter however, it was kind of startling.

The two of you manage to spend time without drawing suspicion. Going on grocery store runs quickly became your favourite kind of date because it was just the two of you roaming around the store with Sam pushing you in the shopping cart.

Peter one day sat the two of you down with a seriousness that made you want to laugh in his face because you could see how awkward it was, demanding to know exactly what was going on between the two of you.

What he wasn’t expecting was you to admit that you had been dating for nearly 4 months now.

Apparently neither were his teammates.

The rest of the night was like an interrogation while the two of you just curled up on the couch and ignored the rest of them until Aunt May came home and told them to stop bothering you.

At which point they all just shut up and decided to watch a movie.

Your boyfriend held you close to him underneath the blankets, holding your hand in his, clutched to his heart and you used your free hand to feed the two of you pizza without even looking away from the screen.

Half-way through the movie, just as you were beginning to drift off, Peter scared the shit out of you by jumping up and shouting.

“Oh my god! I left the two of you at home alone so many times because I didn’t think you liked each other!”

Your face burned and you just hid underneath the blankets, trying to avoid the teasing faces of the others and try not to combust.

“Oh, just can it Parker!”

“Excuse me?”

“I meant the other Parker and you know it!”

#Ultimate Spider-Man #ultimate spiderman #ultimate spider man #ultimate spiderman x reader #ultimate spider man x reader #sam alexander #sam alexander headcanons #sam alexander x reader #nova #nova x reader #nova headcanon #marvel #marvel x reader #USM #usm x reader #USM x you

[bigskydreaming]

I don’t often muse upon PJO, but when I do, its random as hell. 

Anyway, tonight’s thought (singular, also: derogatory, as in very possibly a mistake) is about exploring aspects of the Greek gods that are extrapolations of like, what they’d be like in the modern world instead of just in terms of their ancient myths.....and how that might widen the scope of their demigod children and their powers.

Like take Hephaestus for instance. God of the forge and fire, of invention and artifice......now widen the scope on those things through the lens of the modern age.....might he also be considered the god of modern science, not just in terms of things like engineering and technology, but also physics, chemistry? Or would those things fall more under Athena’s purview......unless you separated them into finer divisions. Like, you could consider Athena’s overview of knowledge and wisdom to make her the goddess of science and higher learning or whatever in general........OR you could separate it like.....Hephaestus is the god of natural or physical sciences like physics and chemistry, and Athena is the goddess of not just wisdom and tactics but things like psychology, computer sciences, etc.

Or OR get Dionysus up in there too, and make it like Hephaestus is the god of chemistry, of chemical reactions and the like, Athena is the goddess of physics, of the most full and complete understanding of the physical universe via things like the unified field theory and its comprising forces of electromagnetism, strong and weak nuclear force, etc, and then Dionysus the god of biology, hmmmm.....

Cuz imagine then, demigod children of Hephaestus, where instead of pyrokinesis, some get powers like transmuting elements.......oh man, the things you could do with that??? Not just lead into gold but they’d be terrors in battle because they could transmute the very air someone breathes into chlorine gas, blood into acid, flesh into stone. Or using that power defensively, making them able to keep guns from firing by dampening the chemical reaction that comes from igniting gunpowder, or just knocking someone out or putting them to sleep by just tanking their metabolic reactions. Mingling magic with modern know-how and creating their own version of truth serums by turning the water someone drinks into something akin to sodium pentathol when just brushing their fingers against someone’s glass, or rendering all drugs or toxins that might have been slipped into their drink null and void by transmuting them into harmless H20. 

(I know that Luke was mentioned briefly as being good at making potions aka alchemy due to being a son of Hermes, but frankly, transmutation as a mastery of the periodic table makes waaaaay more sense for Hephaestus’ kids, I’m just saying. And plus the Greeks didn’t so much consider Hermes an actual god of alchemy as they more just kinda viewed him as their god of all things miscellaneous and tended to lump anything they didn’t have particularly strong feelings about and/or a grasp of under his umbrella. Hermes was really just the patron god of being random as fuck and oh great gods of Olympus I have no idea what I want to do with my life, give me a sign. Hermes: poofs into existence on their shoulder and says SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO GO BE GAY AND DO CRIME YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, DIVINE MANDATE, LETS GOOOOOOO).

Give children of Athena more practical applications for being heirs to her wisdom, knowledge and strategic acumen by also giving her dominion in the modern age over humanity’s quest to better understand the universe we live in and all its rules, the ins and outs of the laws that govern reality itself.......thus Annabeth and others’ potential acumen for magic being here not the end result of them stepping on Hecate and her kids’ toes, but rather more a function of making them the embodiment of ‘magic is just sufficiently advanced technology’ as they - via an innate and heightened understanding of the very nature of the physical universe - find holes in the fabric of space and time that let them slip from Point A to Point B as easily as crossing the street, play tricks with gravity and relativity and things that leave others baffled and amazed and them just shrugging and being like its all in the wrist, dude, and also, the fact that our mom just GETS reality in a way that everyone else will still be playing catch-up to a thousand years from now.

Children of Dionysus (yes I know he barely has any shhh we’re not paying attention to the series we’re just musing on demigod powers here) who combine the godhood of grapes and revelry with loud music and laughter......the way music can help with plant growth, because music is essentially just VIBRATIONS and vibrations stimulate activity in plant cells in a variety of ways.....and thus similar to Mr. D’s tricks with controlling vines and rapidly growing plants, AND his ability to affect the psyches of others, which is described as inflicting or curing madness and I’m like ehhhh do we have to describe it thus though.....put all that in a pot, shake it, not stir, and abrakadabra, alakazam, other psychic pokemon random Psyduck shout-out and voila! ALL of that could be afixed to and made the end product of godly and demigodly control and manipulation of vibrations, cuz Dionysus is literally the god of just vibing in all its infinite forms.....and thus its all just about how vibrations affect plant life on a cellular level, how they can affect brain chemistry in a variety of ways, triggering a lot of the more primal centers/functions of the brain, etc. You kids are driving me crazy, he’d yell at his demigod kids, and they’re like umm wow, like ACK CHOO UGHLY, father, welcome to the 21st century, all we’re really doing is directly stimulating the prefrontal cortex of your cerebellum with our banging rock music, and its making you angy, what about it?

And speaking of actually, if we and by we I mean me cuz I am and its wheee, are theorizing about Athena’s brood getting to be all magical wunderkind whizkids with their scientific acumen and divine cheat-sheets for the physical universe, maybe Aphrodite and her kids could snatch up those psychology and psychiatry job titles instead. Love, desire, also things like obsession, hyper-fixation......is Cabin Mighty Aphrodite really just pheromone central or are its campers more like magical dopamine and serotonin factories just pumping out good vibes all around them, being like come hang out, its free brain juice. Like, imagine kids of Aphrodite who just by their mere presence could help the legions of ADHD demigods focus better, concentrate easier, get shit done because the goddess of passion and her children like....have the gift of helping people to more productively pursue their passions in ALL forms, not just the physical desires they hold for others but the passions they hold for arts and crafts and sports and y’know, saving the world on magical coming-of-age quests when their milkshakes bring all the monsters to the yard. 

And then Ares not just as a god of war and conflict, but of entropy....the tendency of the universe to trend towards disorder, randomness, uncertainty....the kind of things that so often incite or enflame conflict......but applied at large not just to interpersonal dynamics but to the world itself. With his children possessing demigod abilities that disrupt or weaken bonds, both in the form of emotional ties between allies and commitments towards various ideals or courses of action, but also the ability to PHYSICALLY weaken bonds, resulting in an enemy’s weapon falling apart at a touch, or increasing the instability or volatility of an object so it blows up akin to how Gambit of the X-Men’s powers work and can turn even playing cards into a weapon, etc, etc.

And don’t even get me started on Hermes! No, seriously, don’t. Mostly because I haven’t thought that one through yet and I got nothing. I mean I got some things but they are nebulous and have yet to spring forth fully formed from my head like Athena from the fuckhead of Zeus, that absolute fuckhead of legend and yore. In my defense though, I haven’t like, eaten any primordial goddesses of thought and memory, so.......like, idk, I’m taking the longer route here I guess.

[can-i-stay-awake]

Flower Bouquet: Moonflowers (Seonghwa x Reader) Part 1

Warnings: Insomnia? We’re not far into that boat yet, my angels

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Slow burn

Word Count: 2k

Series Masterlist

Spring’s warm breeze caresses your cheeks as you make your way to your school. You adjust the short sleeves of your summer uniform. You quite liked it. Crisp white school blouse with the very end of the sleeves lines with the same red tartan as your skirt and black tie. Though many of the female students chose to wear white knee highs, you couldn’t be bothered to shave this week so you wore black tights. To be honest, no one actually cared whether you shaved them or not but to you, it’s a matter of confidence. For such a rich school with rich or smart students gifted with scholarships, the people there aren’t as bad as you thought they would be. Of course there are the populars and whatnot but if ignored they ignore you. It’s really not your forte, speaking with people. You can’t say you’re introverted, but there’s no one who really connects to you.

It hasn’t been long since you’ve transferred here. Being a scholarship student is hard when all people care about it your money and looks… Or so you thought. After standing up for yourself to many various people and even publicly humiliating one of the most feared bullies in school, Kang Yeosang, you are neither glorified nor bullied. Though your classmates in English particularly enjoy your company to the point where you think you should just rename yourself, “Hey, what did you get for question six?”. You’ve only made friends with Yuna, a cute little (extremely tall) bespectacled girl whose potty mouth could possibly give sailors a run for their money.

“Y/n! Do you know what happened last weekend?” Yuna’s blonde hair dances in the light summer breeze. Her loud voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“What happened, Yuna? Did a goat break through your garden fence?” You reply sarcastically, linking your arms together. Her warmth gives you a little comfort.

“No, I wish. I want a pet goat. My brother’s getting married!” Yuna’s gorgeous amber eyes have drops of sunlight swimming in them and you can’t help but smile.

“Oh? Tell him I said congratulations”

“Will do. I’ll also ask if he wants a goat” She flashes a cheeky grin.

“I don’t think he wants anymore goats in the house. You’re good enough” You snicker, squeezing her arm tighter after she punches you in the arm playfully. Your feet clatter against the pavement and you two cross the polished school entrance.

For you, school is more of a place to learn rather than a place to socialise. Unlike others, who use this school as a place for their popularity to thrive, you are among those who keep their heads down and only have a select few to mingle with. You met the bubbly blonde on your first day as she showed you the way to biology, her sassy sweet dual personality humoured you and you two immediately clicked. Sadly, Yuna is more of an artistic person and you only have English together. So instead of sticking together, you are forced to part.

The low hum of the biology teacher’s voice just barely reaches you, your hands scribble at your paper like you’re trying to win a war as you frantically note everything he says down. The scent of oranges fills the classroom. In a way, it’s how you feel at home in biology. Today the teacher is going especially fast with her notes. Pain ebbs at your wrists and you let your eyes wander around the classroom. They travel to the windows, the glass pane reflecting the light of the sun, then they travel to the colourful diagrams made by other classes and they finally fell on the neat, colour coded notes of your desk mate, Park Seonghwa.

His handwriting isn’t very special, but the way the letters are spaced out makes it look mature and refined. The dark haired boy even has a blue colour scheme: azure, cobalt and cyan dotted across the page framed by drawn on silver stars.

Truth be told, both you and Seonghwa are quite shy so the only conversation you’ve actually shared this week was when he didn’t have a pencil because he let Hongjoong borrow his. But you two know each other well and even have a few inside jokes. You two tried to hold a conversation about you two signing up to tutor struggling students but Wooyoung burst in screeching about god knows what. It’s not like you to blurt random things out but before you can stop yourself, you whisper in awe.

“Wow, your notes are super neat. You could put that on study gram…”

Seonghwa’s face visibly brightens from the praise, a smile briefly on his face before returning to his textbook. You never notice the faint rings under his eyes once his stops smiling. “Oh, thanks Y/n”

You were always a little curious about Park Seonghwa, but you never realised how intriguing he is. Little things like the way he acts all cute with Hongjoong to get his attention, and how he has nearly a motherly impact on even the outcasts like Kang Yeosang by letting him keep the black raincoat he was forced to borrow when you can see from the dark haired boy’s shoes that they are a little beaten up. Of course, since he’s so organised, no one even notices the way he secretly calculates his lunch money instead of just pressing his card on the scanner. You too, are practically broke but you can afford decent shoes without worrying about the price. These little things that tend to slip other’s minds are tattooed into your eyesight, highlighted in fluorescent colours.

A few days later, once again in biology, his complexion looks seedy and tired. His skin is dull and the charismatic glow in his voice is jaded. Throughout the week, he becomes progressively more scatterbrained. Like that time in computing science when he dropped his earphones and bashed his head on the upside of his computing desk while trying to retrieve it, and the time he literally forgot his pencil case. The teachers look concerned and it’s quite evident they’ve already checked up on him only to be faced with a half assed reassuring smile.

“Jesus, Seonghwa looks like a mess… I feel bad for the poor guy.” Yuna exclaims, “He’s running for student council president but if he’s like this, he’ll faint dead away. Should I check up on him?” You two watch him practically sleepwalking to his form room, his footsteps dragging and hands rubbing at his eyes. Yuna has an eye for these things too, perhaps she’s not as attentive as you, but definitely more than most.

“Yeah, I’m thinking of doing just that. He’s a zombie.”

Two days pass and Seonghwa looks a little better after Hongjoong practically forced him to sleep, threatening to throw confetti at him which he had brought from the art room. You’ve been trying to find the right time since you can’t just go, “Oh hi, you look like shit. Are you good?” And biology seems too far away for you to communicate, but you decide to wait until then. But somehow, it’s like the gods placed the keys right in your hands and shoved you towards him when you meet him in the supermarket. You buy two packets of strawberries, one for yourself and another for Seonghwa. He smiles at you but his face is now painted over with thick coats of fatigue and the concern probably shows on your face because he stifles a yawn.

“Hey” You greet him, queuing behind him in the long ass line you wish would just move already.

“Hi, Y/n. How have you been doing?”

“Good, you?”

“Good” It’s hard to continue a conversation like this, but you stubbornly press on. Seonghwa looks tired but he’s not facing away from you either and you’ve got his full attention. “Really? You’ve been looking rough nowadays. You should take care of your health. Don’t you always nag Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Jongho about the exact same thing?”

“Oh, how do you know that?” He fakes surprise, trying to steer the topic away from him. You can’t pressure him to say he’s not fine, but you sigh.

“Yuna and Hongjoong are friends. You did hear what I said, right? Take care of your health” You nag and he pouts.

“I am, Y/n. It’s just the election is stressing me out a little.” His eyes swerve to the bottom left, an obvious lie.

“Alright, but I can help you with it. Okay? You’re a literal zombie nowadays. Even our English teacher realised that you’re not in good spirits, and she’s more oblivious and air headed than a four year old”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry for worrying you, I’ll take care of myself” He giggles, you can see the colour rising in his cheeks after a light hearted conversation. You’re not really that good with words, but if it makes him feel better, you’ll gladly do so.

The line progresses, and he lets you go first. Scanning the two boxes of strawberries and placing one in your schoolbag. You wait outside for the boy to scan various groceries and sweets and as he approaches the doorway you stop him.

“Seonghwa”

He turns around, the orange light of the evening sun blazing in his eyes. His dark hair dances in the wind.

“Take this” You hand him the box of strawberries and he’s lost for words, blushing and stammering.

It’s cute.

Very cute.

“Y/n, I r-really can’t take this! It’s yours!” He tries to hand it back to you but you firmly press the transparent container to his chest.

“Yeah, well I accidentally took two. This one’s for Yuna” You shake the bag you’re holding in your right hand. “I don’t like strawberries anyway”

His gaze is skeptical but he smiles sweetly and thanks you profusely. “Sure… Thank you so much Y/n! I’ll pay you back somehow, kay?”

“Park Seonghwa, you pay me back I break your back” You bark, but you let out a small laugh and he does too.

“Gosh, I ought to hire bodyguards” The light that Seonghwa’s eyes hold is so vibrant not even the milky way could hold a candle to the sparkles swimming in his warm gaze. “Thank you again, Y/n” He yells as he walks away from you.

“No problem, have a nice day and make sure to get some sleep” You holler back. As you make your way back home, your heart bubbles and fizzes like the drinks you see Mingi consume on a daily basis.

That night, you sleep well. No emptiness, no gaping void, no nightmares.

Just the comfort of your bed in the sea of your blankets.

It’s too bright this morning, too pretty with the flowers decorating the school entrance, too ethereal with the honey glow of the sun kissing your skin. Though it’s a little too hot, you keep a mini fan in your school bag and sunscreen to prevent anyone from dying.

“Hey, Yuna! I gave Seonghwa a box of strawberries after I met him in the grocery shop!”

“And good morning to you too” Yuna raises a brow, her eyes no longer framed by glasses but the faint outline of her contact lenses over her irises. She grins as you hand her a box. “For me?”

“For you” You smile as you two walk to school together.

“Hey! He looks better today!” You nudge her excitedly as you see the tall, handsome boy massaging red headed Hongjoong’s shoulders, exclaiming about how stiff he is. Though his energy isn’t up to 100%, you’re happy that he’s improving.

Or so you think.

“Seonghwa! Your votes are nearly taking the lead!” Yunho exclaims as they check the little website Wooyoung composed for the student council election.

“Oh? That’s nice” Yunho furrows his brow at Seonghwa’s nonchalant attitude.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to faint…” Yunho steadies the smaller of the two in his chair. Seonghwa giggles.

“You don’t need to worry about me, Yunho. I’ll go to the nurse’s if I’m not feeling great” He smiles, exhausted.

The brunet narrows his eyes, “Sure… I’m getting someone to check up on you, I have a meeting in the art club. Don’t move” Yunho rushes out the doorway only to meet you, on your phone checking your emails.

“Y/n, Seonghwa looks like he’s going to pass out. Could you keep an eye on him, please?”

“You don’t need to do that! I’m fine!” Seonghwa yells from the classroom but his voice is groggy, “and you definitely don’t need to do anything!” You look at Yunho, nodding and entering the classroom.

“Enjoy art club Yun-”

Thump.

You and Yunho pause to see an unconscious Seonghwa sliding sideways off of his chair and onto the floor. His hair flying to one side and his eyes fluttering shut. 

“Shit!” You dash to Seonghwa side and Yunho calls out his name. “We should get him to the nurses!”

Yunho nods and you raise his legs into Yunho’s arms until the brown haired boy stabilises his grip on Seonghwa, still knocked out. You open the doors for Yunho as he dashes to the nurses, you feel agony shoot through your heart like an arrow when you see the elder’s head lolling in Yunho’s embrace. The students around you clear a pathway, murmurs filling your ears and looks of concern covering your vision. 

The nurse, who everyone calls Minnie, puts Seonghwa in a comfortable position on entering, you realise Hongjoong already there gasping for breath. He probably caught wind of Seonghwa fainting and dashed to the office. 

“Sorry kids, only one of you can stay. It’s better not to startle Mr. Park.” Minnie’s soft voice soothes everyone’s panic. Even Hongjoong’s posture is slightly more relaxed, you've never seen him without his overly perfect stance and you're reminded that perhaps the redhead isn't as studious as he comes across. Yunho nods, rushing off to the art club, Hongjoong looks longingly over his shoulder as he leaves. 

”I’ll stay.” You announce. Nurse Minnie nods and pulls over a chair for you adjacent to Seonghwa’s freshly made bed. After opening a window and letting the breeze sway the curtains, you settle in and sit beside Seonghwa. His curls are splayed out on his pillow in such a disorganised but perfect way.

”Y/n..?” A voice deep with fatigue calls out to you and you have to restrain yourself from jumping up to the call. 

”Seonghwa...” Is all you can say as he groans and shuffles his pillows. You give him a glass of water and colour bleeds back into his face.

”Hey.” He smiles, rubbing at his eyes. 

”Is that all you can say when you've practically overworked yourself to the point of fainting?” You manage to keep your voice soft but you know he can hear the pout in your voice. ”Hwa...” Gently cupping one hand around his wrist, you see concealer on the finger he used to rub his eye with. You look back up at his face and a hint of dark circles are more evident on his porcelain face.

”I should get better concealer... Don't look at me like that, your expression looks like a cat eating a lemon, down to a cinch.” He chuckles but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. The aroma of citrus (with a hint of candy) fills the room. It reminds you of biology class and you realise the scent is coming from him. 

“What do you even do? And why does it get in the way of your sleep? Is it insomnia?” You try to coax an answer from him, but you know you can only go far. “You don’t need to tell me, but it might help to tell someone” Seonghwa grins, sinking further into his covers.

“You don’t need to worry about me” He whispers, and you see his legs adapt the fetal position.

“But I do, because you’re my friend.” 

“Am I?” Seonghwa’s dark eyes are once again all a-glimmer, his eyebrows are raised in surprise. It’s as if you’ve offered him a lifetimes supply of strawberries.

You stop yourself from doubling over and giggling, perhaps you understand why girls and boys alike look at Seonghwa the way they do. His calm and cool demeanour is alluring but those rare times where he opens up is what pulls you in. “Of course” You smile, and perhaps the blush dusted on Seonghwa cheeks isn’t a hallucination. 

“If you really want to know, I’m busy looking after my younger cousins, Jihyo and Daehyun. My siblings and parents are barely home.” 

“Seonghwa...” Concern once again bleeds into your face but the latter interjects before it settles. 

“They’re super adorable though! And well behaved! It’s nothing to worry about” But one look at the dark patches under his eyes tell you otherwise. 

“If you’re fainting due to exhaustion, it is a big deal” 

“It was super hot today though, it could have been because of that” His long fingers run through his hair and it falls perfectly back into place. You’re tempted to ask what shampoo he uses but you snap out of it. “Seonghwa. Do you want me to help?”

“Help? It’s not a big deal!” 

“If I bought Hongjoong here-“ You could see in his expression that he was awaiting Hongjoong’s nagging ever since you told him that Hongjoong and Yunho brought him here.

“No! Fine... He’ll nag my ear off” Red lips form a pout, his head drops. “He talks for so long that he ends up repeating everything he says and if you try and argue he starts all over again”

“I know. Remember when Jongho sprained his ankle playing basketball?” Hongjoong’s normally quiet and composed voice thundered throughout the hallways so loudly even the teachers dared not to intervene. 

“Exactly, I’ll die. You don’t want me to die, do you y/n?” Seonghwa looks up at you and uses the type of gaze you give teachers when you want to skip PE. He pouts even harder and when you grumble, he giggles. 

“I’m still coming over. If you’re not well rested by the time I’m finished playing with your cousin I’m moving in” Though these are jokes you usually pull with closer friends, something about your relationship with Seonghwa connects. You feel your presence calming him down and his soothing the creases on your brow. 

“I got it” He giggles and covers his mouth with his hand. ”When are you free? I'm free all week, including today”  

”Hmm, I have to help out Hongjoong with student council shit today... Is it alright if I come tomorrow?” 

”Sure! I'm positive Jihyo will enjoy some company. Daehyun is a little older and introverted, but she's tired looking after her younger sister too. We can look after them together” That’s not your plan, but you nod and smile. 

After school that next day, you wait for Seonghwa outside the gates. Unlike the cute, laid back persona he adapted in the nurse’s office the other day, his posture is perfect and his movements as elegant as a swan. It’s a facade, but a natural one that doesn’t stem from bad pasts. It’s just Seonghwa. 

You like ‘just Seonghwa’. 

”Y/n!” He waves and you wave back as his feet pick up the pace. ”Hey” He looks a little brazen, and you wonder if Hongjoong’s nagged him for returning to school beforehand.

”Hey Seonghwa! Did you stay in the nurse’s office or did you go to class yesterday? I didn’t see you leave”

”I had French. What do you think?” Seonghwa loathes his French teacher, who always makes loud noises and is way too animated and not focused enough on teaching. Seonghwa says that he seems like a nice person but he's not good enough of a teacher. You've yet to meet this man but you'd rather not if he ”has an attention span of a seven-year-old on a sugar high”. You two have some small talk until you reach his neighbourhood. ”Y/n, we need to be super careful. This isn't a good area.” He looks embarrassed and you try to wipe the anxious look on his face.

”I live pretty nearby, don’t worry. No fear! I have a death stare stronger than... I don’t know, who has really good death stare game?” 

“Medusa?” He chuckles.

“Medusa!” You giggle and you spot the tips of his ears flush. 

“I don’t have that much of an intimidating stare-“ Seonghwa is interrupted by a loud cat call in your direction, something about how your cute uniform would look cuter on the floor. “Fuck off!” He yells and the man is about to square up until you both shoot him a warning glare. You clutch the hockey stick in your hand you carry for PE and he leaves.

“I’ve never heard you curse before...” The Seonghwa you know is always poised and perfect, a gentle aura follows his wake as an ethereal glow does with an angel. He’s the one that whacks Wooyoung and San over the head with a rolled up chemistry booklet whenever they let a few foul words pass so you’d never imagine that kind of language. It was yet another side of Park Seonghwa you’ve just discovered.

“I’ve never seen you with such a face before...” You two both start laughing. He pulls out his phone and types frantically at his keyboard. Something motherly and caring lingers on his face as he picks up the phone and loving asks whom you presume is Daehyun, to be careful on the bus home.

 “Aww, what a caring brother”

Seonghwa flashes a painful smile your way. It’s one of the cutest things about him, you think. “She’s a scatterbrain. I can’t let her out of my sight! Little sisters are a handful I swear” 

You laugh at the overly exaggerated pout and huff that graces his features. 

“Oh, how’s the student council election going?” Seonghwa brushes his hair back with one hand and nervously chuckles. 

“I’m second place, but Hongjoong is pretty far ahead. I don’t actually mind very much. I just thought it would look good on my resume. Hongjoong is more the leader type, but if I’m being honest, I don’t think he wants to be elected” His eyes met yours and you admire the emotional intellect he holds to see past Hongjoong’s quiet and distant mask. He’s very extroverted when people come up to him, but whenever he’s alone you think that there’s a different world he sees through those starry eyes.

“Oh? Why so?” 

Seonghwa’s walking pace slows a little, “It’s a guess, but Hongjoong’s parents seem to pressure him a lot. His grades, to be exact. Maybe I’m wrong, and maybe he has super nice parents. But I don’t think that’s likely” His gaze is downcast and pity pangs at your heart.

“Oh no...” You look at your black polished shoes and the flutter of your skirt as the grey pavement moves along with your footfalls. 

“All families have at least something to deal with. Some problems bigger than others” The two of you exit the dark alleyway into a block of Tennant flats and he fumbles for his keys as you cross the third one. “Where are you going, Y/n?” He chuckles as you accidentally pass the red door to his house. 

“Ah! Whoops! I went to the direction of my house by mistake!” You chuckle and wait patiently for him to unlock the door. A pastel yellow chick key charm swings as the silver of his keys shine in the streetlights. ”Cute charm” 

Seonghwa blushes. ”Oh, Daehyun got matching ones for us at a school festival. It's totally unlike her too, she's kind of well... See for yourself, she's probably home by now” 

The creak of the doorway makes you want to oil it right away but you stay put. Seonghwa takes his somehow unscratched and polished shoes on the mat and you do. “Sorry, I tried to clean but it’s a bit messy” 

Pearly white sofas blessed your vision, not a single hair nor stain defacing it, the oak floor gleamed like water in the sunlight. The marble dining table sparkled, an equally clean vase where a single (artificial) pink rose sat. In baskets suspended by chains by the windows, there lay a few moonflowers nearly in bloom. The furniture isn’t very expensive, perhaps a little more than outside your budget, but the pristine perfect polishing made the place look like a palace. 

“Messy? What’s clean to you?” You gasp in astonishment as he leads you to the living room where a blonde girl and a dark haired toddler sat. 

“Hey, Daehyun. Hiya, Jihyo! How was school?” Seonghwa’s loving tone changes to a cooing, sweet one when addressing Jihyo. Jihyo runs into Seonghwa’s arms and he lifts her up, giggling. She replies with something about finger painting. 

Daehyun’s blank gaze turns to you, a hint of curiosity in her eye. She waves at you calmly and you return it. “Hey, Daehyun, isn’t it?”

“Yep. Hi, Y/n. Can I call you that?”

“You can call me anything unless it’s “lady hand me down”, I’ve heard that so many times I’m ready to go on a killing spree” You joke, and Daehyun smiles slightly. 

“Jihyo, this is Y/n. We can all play together!” Seonghwa giggles in his sing-song-y drawl. He puts her down and her brown eyes shift to you, assessing you in a little kid way before giggling. 

“Hiya! I’m Jihyo~” She lisps, her words slightly broken but adorable all the same. You coo and crouch down to give her a high five. 

“How was school, Dae?” Seonghwa turns to the middle child, who huffs in annoyance.

“They never serve the good food. If I die of food poisoning, I’m suing them. They ruined salmon for me” You expect Seonghwa to chuckle, but he looks dead serious as he rolls his white sleeves up.

“That’s abuse. Shouldn’t they give you good food so that you can learn better? What non edible junk do they give you? How bad does it taste that it ruined salmon for you?” Daehyun replies with a gagging noise and they chuckle. You stare at her for a little, Daehyun is a lot like Seonghwa. Cold exterior, warm interior. Perhaps even colder than him, but easy to thaw. 

Jihyo waddles up to you after retrieving something from her vibrant pink toy box in the corner. “Blocks?” 

“You wanna play with them, Jihyo?” Seonghwa asks, his lips are upturned in a huge dorky grin and you feel your heart melt at the sight. 

“Seonghwa, you are to rest” You order in what you hope is an authoritative tone. 

It isn’t. 

“Seonghwa, you are to rest” He mocks your high pitches tone and pinches your nose. “Heard this from Hongjoong, not from you, please!” He pouts but you, though it takes a lot of willpower, don’t give in. 

“Nope, go to bed” 

“Y/n, will I have to go to bed!?” Jihyo pouts, and you wonder if it runs in the family. 

“Not you, angel” You smile softly. 

Daehyun looks up from her chemistry textbook and sighs, “Go. To. Sleep. Seonghwa. Or. I’ll-” 

Seonghwa jolts and rushes across the room, the action reminding you of the Angry Birds slingshot animation and covers her mouth, face red and fuming. ”Daehyun, you better not blab” He squeaks and Daehyun blinks, his hand still over her mouth.

“Then sleep, dumbass. Take some rest, or else I’ll knock you out” Her muffled voice makes you laugh a little.

“Isn’t that normal sibling stuff? You know, dumb threats?”

Seonghwa’s eyes widen in seriousness, “No, I swear, she actually means it sometimes. She once put a sleeping pill in my milk, the snake” 

“I did” Daehyun’s comically monotone voice back him up, her eyes not once leaving her book.

“I should have you arrested” He jokes and she smirks, “But I shouldn’t leave a guest here alone. It’s bad manners”

“I came here so you could rest, Hwa. Please take some rest.” You tell him. Seonghwa looks troubled and he sighs. 

“I’ll still be in this room to check up on you guys. But thanks” His looks a little stressed but after you make Jihyo laugh. Perhaps it’s the wave of relief the he feels, but the atmosphere in the room brightens, the orange hue of the evening sunshine painting streaks across your faces.  

Jihyo is extremely energetic, but when she sees you try to stifle a yawn, she lets out a concerned squeak. “Are you tired? Do you want to take a nap?” She asks, and you find it amazing how such a young child can read your emotions so well. 

“I’m alright, Jihyo, angel”

“Why do you call me that?” She stutters in her cute drawl. 

“Yeah, have you seen the Biblical versions of them?” Daehyun jokes, somehow managing to hear you from her electric blue headphones.

“Well, angels are very cute. And they bring happiness to people!”

“My mommy says all I bring her is-“ Seonghwa, who you thought was asleep, suddenly sits up from the couch and coughs. Jihyo is silenced immediately. 

“Please, excuse us” The dark haired boy picks up his young cousin and leads her to the side room to your left. His expression isn’t angry, but worried. 

You have a gut feeling that perhaps Jihyo had no choice but to observe the emotions of the people surrounding her.

Daehyun’s growls under her breath. 

“Is everything alright? Y-you don’t need to tell me, I don’t mean to meddle-“

“No, it’s fine. It’s just that our Auntie isn’t very nice. Me and Seonghwa just have busy parents, but Jihyo’s mum isn’t... Fit to be a parent” Her voice his still expressionless, not a hint of pity. She sounded as if she were giving a presentation. But her fists are clenched by he side. “Poor kid. She doesn’t know that her mum’s an asshole. She just thinks it’s how people show love. She’s only been here for a month or so, so Seonghwa and I are trying to help her out”

“Family is... A sensitive subject, huh? Is there even such thing as a perfect family like in the movies?” You didn’t mean to say it out loud, but Daehyun nods.

“Nope, don’t think so”

You feel the happy, cheerful morale drop into the pit of the earth as Seonghwa and Jihyo exit the room. Seonghwa looks more shaken than the surprisingly cheerful girl holding his hand.

“Dae, you don’t mind watching her for a little bit right? Call me if you need anything” He suddenly pulls you up and takes an umbrella out of the store cupboard by the shoe rack of his doorway.

“Kay, go” Daehyun hops off of the couch to watch TV with Jihyo on the couch, cuddling her as if she were a glass ornament rather than a four year old girl.

The choir of raindrops hitting the pavement of Seonghwa’s street resonates with your footsteps. He coughs awkwardly to break the silence.

“It was weird for you, right? I’m sorry” He mutters. Green cloth shoots into the sky and spreads its wings like a butterfly. He holds the strongly viridescent coloured umbrella above your heads, inching closer in order to share.

“What? No! Never! It’s totally fine! These things happen, Seonghwa. They shouldn’t, but they do. I just hope she’s okay”

A trace of anger seeps into his deep brown pupils. “I try to tell her. To re-teach here that she’s not responsible for her mother’s behaviour, but she doesn’t get it. She think Auntie loves her”

“Oh dear” 

“Please... Don’t mention this to any-“

“No, no! I would never! But Seonghwa, you shouldn’t have the burden of unravelling Jihyo’s tangled threads. You’re tired already. You and Daehyun shouldn’t be the ones to do that”

Grief and pity washes upon him, and it trickles into his words like water from a slightly cracked glass bottle. “Dae shouldn’t, I agree. But if I don’t, who will?”

“Can’t you speak to your parents?” 

“They’re stressed and busy-“

“They’re family, Seonghwa. Their occupation doesn’t hold a candle to their own family, let alone children” Your stern voice makes him sigh, and you hold the oak handle of the umbrella with him.

“Not all families are like that, Y/n... But I can’t say my family is one of them. But should I stress them out? They don’t know my Aunt is like this. At all.” His warm hands slightly overlap with yours as he re-adjusts his grip on his umbrella. You feel heat creeping up your cheeks, and out of the corner of your eye, you see Seonghwa turn away but not fast enough to cover his pink dusted cheeks.

“Don’t you think it would be better for Jihyo if a therapist helped her out?” You feel his breath causing a ripple of movement in your hair. The sun bleeds through the cracks left by the grey clouds, but they are barely enough to let the city bask in its glory. 

“You’re right. I didn’t think about it that way. How idiotic am I?”

“You’re not” You stare him dead in the eye, the sincerity of your tone even taking you aback.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. We’re not supposed to know everything, you know? She’s only been here for a month, according to Daehyun, so it’s a lot to take in” Seonghwa’s pinky brushes against the back of palm, before positioning his hand over your own. He squeezes it.

“Thank you, Y/n. I think I really needed to hear that” 

You two go back inside. 

The choir of the rain is mixed with your footsteps and the thump of your heartbeat.

And as Seonghwa edges nearer to take his shoes off, you hear his own rapid thumps.

“Jihyo loves me so much, don’t you, cupcake?” Seonghwa cooes as she crawls onto Seonghwa lap. 

“D-Dae” She squeals, pushing Seonghwa’s head down so she can crawl over his head to get to Daehyun, who is sitting behind him. He looks betrayed and flashes a painful smile at you.

“Nah, you’re just a stepping stone to him. Isn’t he, Jihyo?” Jihyo giggles and snuggles up to Daehyun, who puts her phone aside and taps her nose.

“She’s a baby” You coo, pinching her cheeks.

“Yeah, a baby. I love babies... But this one thinks I’m a stepping stone” Seonghwa pouts playfully.  

“You both have a pouting tendency. Watch a bee doesn’t sting you on the lip” You tease and Seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“A bee would be honoured to die kissing my lips” He flips his hair in a nonchalant manner but then proceeds to cringe. “I’ve been hanging around San and Mingi for too long” 

Daehyun gags. “Never flirt with your crush like that, they’ll get so shook they’ll migrate planets” Jihyo chuckles along with everyone. “Oh, the results of the election are coming out next month, no?”

“Yeah, I kind of don’t want to win though. Too much trouble” Seonghwa ruffles Jihyo’s hair. 

“Y/n, why didn’t you run? You’re a model student, you could have won!”

Poor Seonghwa must be oblivious to the fangirls surrounding him and Hongjoong left and right. You wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Uhh, yeah no. Not my thing. I like receiving orders, not giving them. I’m not the leader type”

Seonghwa pulls a face, “Me neither. Hongjoong is though. Maybe if he stopped daydreaming once in a while, he’d realise that. Though if he doesn’t want to be a part of the Student Council, he can be leader of the Art club. The person currently running is leaving”

“Art club?” Hongjoong had never seemed like the artistic type to you. But then again, you didn’t go to the same classes as him except Maths.

“Yeah, Hongjoong is really good at art. He can do all these weird things with glass. He made that bird for me over there!” Seonghwa points to the display case beside the television, there sat a cerulean glass blue bird. It looks very well done, with the feathers etched in and the beak perfectly shaped. 

“Don’t pull my leg, really?” It looked good enough to sell for quite a lot on a website. Hongjoong could start a business. 

“Yes, really!” He laughs his signature laugh, airy and gentle, and you nearly burst. If you didn’t realise you liked Seonghwa, you sure did now. “Do you want anything to drink?” 

“Oh, no. It’s alright!” You say, but a hiccup follows. Seonghwa chuckles and gets up.

“Water it is then” He waddles into the kitchen, with Jihyo clinging to his leg. “Anything you want, Angel?” He struggles to deal with her weight. 

“C-cookies, Hwa” Seonghwa winces at the puppy eyes before him.

“Not now, angel. You need to have room for dinner” Jihyo grumbles but then points at a bunch of grapes. 

“Wow! What species of toddler is she?” You joke as she hugs a plastic bowl filled with green grapes and goes up on her tiptoes to place it on the marble table. You’ve never met such a pliant kid before and it shocks you to the core.

“An angel, aren’t you, Jihyo?” The taller of the two picks her up so she can push it further into the centre of the table. 

“Yay! Angel!” She giggles.

“Daehyun? Are you hungry?” Seonghwa turns to the blonde, she nods a simple no. 

“Should we watch a movie?” Daehyun asks. “We got that DVD set last week, didn’t we?”

“Oh, yeah! Your call, Y/n” Seonghwa flashes a charming smile at you and you fumble for words.

“S-sure! Jihyo can choose” Jihyo giggles in delight and hops to the box set as Daehyun sets it out. 

“Why is this so deep?” Seonghwa whines, trying to bat away the tears forming in his eyes. You feel your heart shattering even though he isn’t actually that affected by Piggy being killed by the rock.

“Oh no! Don’t cry, we’ll all start crying” You plead, fanning them away. You wonder why Jihyo chose something as morbid as “Lord of the Flies” but she seems rather content with the gore. 

“I won’t cry. I’ll laugh” Daehyun nudges Seonghwa playfully and Seonghwa gets up to chase her. 

“Brat!”

“Oh, boo hoo. Go cry about it”

The entire evening is spent giggling and joking. You think it’s been the best evening in your life. 

“Ah, Y/n!” 

It’s been a few weeks since Seonghwa hung out with you. Ever since then, you two have been talking to each other more often like during breaks and after school activities. Along with Hongjoong and Yunho, you two have been carrying out duties and solving problems together. 

“No, I didn’t get three for question five” You sigh and turn around, to Seonghwa, who pokes you in the cheek with the back of his pen. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t think you said that”

“I’ve been asked that too. I got 37”

“Me too!” That gave you the reassurance that you got the question right. 

“Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to have some bubble tea out in the city for lunch? Just a little thank you for looking after Jihyo again this weekend” He goes a little pink but on his face is a flirty smirk you’ve never seen before. It makes you want to sink under the table and squeal. 

“Sure, but I think I should thank you for intruding” 

“No, I should thank you for helping me out again this week” You reply. The sunlight bursting through the window paints Seonghwa’s complexion, making him look even more devilishly handsome, his dark hair threaded with locks of gold. 

“We’ll be here all day. Just say yes” He flicks at your forehead gently and you smack his shoulder. “Don’t skip PE, Y/n. Jihyo is stronger than you and she failed.” 

“Fine. And do you want me to show you real strength, Park Seonghwa?” You both laugh, and the teacher gives you two a warning glare. 

“No, I swear! Pigeons are FBI robots!” You exclaim, and Seonghwa sniggers.

“So you’re saying if I kill one pigeon’s friends and family it won’t die of depression?” Another shit eating grin forms on his face. It’s so hot you wonder why the ice in your drink hasn’t melted yet, let alone Antarctica thawing. 

“You monster” You playfully pout. A few friends have told you you’ve been hanging out with him too much because you’ve picked up his habits. 

Seonghwa bats his eyelashes, “Moi? I’m an angel”

“Sure...” Seonghwa’s eyes suddenly light up, pulsating with mischievous intent.

“Hongjoong managed to fall asleep in the changing room. Look, I took a picture” Seonghwa wheezes as he unlocks his phone and shows you a picture of the dark haired boy with his eyes fluttered shut and mouth slightly parted. 

“Jesus, no one should be allowed to look that pretty while sleeping” You blurt out in awe. The boy in front of you scoffs. 

“He was drooling, idiot. Anyhow, I’m way more charming than Hongjoong” Seonghwa tries to play it cool, raising his eyebrows and winking but you can sense the jealousy bubbling up within him.

“Jealous?” You snicker, taking a spoonful of the strawberry decorated cake. The sweetness melts in your mouth, along with the fruity tang of the strawberries. 

“No!” He laughs, a little too loudly that the cafe barista looks at him, her pretty doe eyes widened in shock. The boy then clears his throat and proceeds to continue his conversation. “I’m not jealous- Oh, hold on” Seonghwa moves in a little closer to brush off the whipped cream on the corner of you lips. The rough pads of his fingers gliding across the skin of your lips. He smoothly licks it off of his fingers and you both go red after the realisation of what he did. 

“Ah, thanks”

“No problem” He coughs awkwardly. You check the time and tell him that it’s probably a good idea that you two head back to classes. Seonghwa nods, and as you two walk down the road he gently pulls you in by the waist as a car goes by.

“Are you okay? Ugh, drivers” Seonghwa scoffs, and squeezes your waist and then releases you. 

“Hwa!” You dare say that he’s getting bolder nowadays as both of you have realised your feelings for each other. But instead of blowing the candle out directly, you’re both gently waving at the flickering flame. 

“Sorry” He giggles, and you know he doesn’t mean it. “Come to this side” He swaps places with you so that he is on the side of the road closer to cars zooming past.

“Thanks, Seonghwa”

“No problem. Oh goodness the election results are coming out in a few days and I really regret running for it now! I’m so nervous”

You squeeze his upper arm, “Relax. I’m sure you’ll do a great job even if you win. I’ll be here to help out and I’m sure Yunho and the others will be glad to as well”  Seonghwa’s eyes return to their normal, bright and sparkly sheen. 

“Really?” His voice holds the innocence of a four year old, despite his deep and elegant drawl.

“Really” 

That night, you can feel Seonghwa’s restlessness from blocks away. The silence of the night drives you up the wall and you pull out your phone. Is it the election? 

You: You awake?

You don’t expect an answer, you shouldn’t. But your face lights up at the sudden green bubble indicating that he’s online popping up immediately.

Hwa: No, I’m asleep ;p

You: Alright, well when you wake up remember that I’m cheering for you! <3

Hwa: shdufyyfipiueouriguu

You: ?

Hwa: Sorry my fongers were beingg dimb

Hwa: *Fingers

Hwa: *Being

Hwa: *Dumb

You: Lmao, go to sleep you nonce.

Hwa: Nonce? Meanie :(

You: I don’t trust people who use those weird keyboard emojis. Use your phone ones like a normal person lmao

Hwa: Hello, Childline? I would like to report a case of child abuse. This individual has called me a “nonce” and is now choosing to insult my emojis! Harry Potter and the Audacity of this Cutie 

Hwa: JHsudhsdyduyfisuyfuyfuyfuyufisu

You: Aww, thanks 😊 

Your heart accelerates. Of course, after you and Seonghwa started hanging out more, he was more flirty and bold but you’ve never seen him become flustered before. He’s called you a baby and addresses you very endearingly. But is this sleep deprived Seonghwa embarrassed? It’s adorably funny to you. 

Hwa: soodjjSOFFOJJFIJNFJJFI

Hwa: Damn it.

Hwa: I’m way too sleep deprived to play it cool

You: Should I send you an ASMR video? It helps me sleep sometimes

Hwa: Really? That would be great

Hwa: Excuse me, wait a second. Why are you awake?

You: Insomnia, ran out of pills.

Hwa: Poor thing :(

Hwa: Do you have a 24 hour pharmacy near you? I’m sure there’s one down the road and we don’t live far apart.

You: DKM STOP USING THOSE CURSED EMOJIS

You: And idk, it’s dangerous for me to walk at night. Even with my hockey stick lolol

Hwa: Where do you live? I’m coming

You: Seonghwa! No! It’s alright! I can stay awake

Hwa: Then I’ll stay awake with you <3

You: You don’t need to. 

Hwa: I would have forced you to sleep, but Joong has insomnia and I kinda get that it’s hard

Hwa: So if you can’t sleep, ping me~

You: “Ping me” lmao

You: Thank you though.

You: You do so much for me. You know that? Like, whenever I feel like shit, you’re there. 

You: Do you read my mind, Seonghwa?

Hwa: I’m glad I’m able to be here for you. At first I felt like I was had to so I could pay you back. But now it comes naturally. I don’t really click with people, but I can with you. 

Hwa: Don’t get me wrong, I’m only here because I want to be. I like taking care of you and I’m thankful you do the same. 

Hwa: Just seeing you makes me happy 

You: I feel the exact same way, Hwa.

You: You make everything so warm and happy. It’s your presence and I get along with you so well! 

You: I know you said it already, but please don’t feel indebted to take care of me, Seonghwa. I too, do it because I sincerely care about you. 

You: I love yo| 

Your fingers dash across the screen, but another sky blue text bubble makes your heart drop, the adrenaline building up in you blowing out in a sad puff. 

Hwa: I’m sorry, I’ll be right back. Getting a call.

“Seonghwa... I don’t want to do this anymore” The latter’s stomach and heart hurl up and down at the chocked voice, probably crying through the phone.

“Hongjoong? Talk to me” Seonghwa tries to keep his voice steady and attempts to clear his mind and analyse the rise and fall of his voice and the tone. He wants to see Hongjoong face to face. That’s the best way he can read people, with their expressions. But he knows that Hongjoong doesn’t dare show his face while he’s crying, a rarity.

“The... The election... It was my parents who made me do it. Seonghwa... Seonghwa I can’t do this anymore” Hongjoong sobs, his clear voice murky with sleep and sadness. Seonghwa feels his own eyes fill up but he swipes them away.

“Focus on Hongjoong” He hisses to himself mentally. 

“Hongjoong, your parents can’t dictate what you do or not. If you feel pressured and they don’t listen, you have to do something”

“I know! But what? Who’s going to help me? What if I get kicked out? My parents might still love me if I rebel, but I don’t want to take that gamble. Seonghwa... What do I do?” 

Seonghwa bites his nail. For once, Seonghwa doesn’t know what to do. It makes him feel helpless that someone is hurting, especially if that someone is a friend. Hongjoong isn’t the type of person to be very in touch with his emotions, and seeing his glass mask shatter breaks him apart too. 

“Hongjoong, you do what you think is right. And if you don’t know what is, then ask someone who knows. I’m sorry, Hongjoong, but I don’t know what to do. But you can always talk to me. I’ll always be here for you, Hongjoong” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. If they kick you out, I’ll find you a place to stay” 

Seonghwa hears Hongjoong crumpling down, “I don’t want to be abandoned” It feels like a spear through the chest hearing his torn voice. 

“I know, sweetheart. No one does. But if you feel like that’s what you have to do, you have to remember that there are people who will always accept you. I will, Yunho will, Y/n will, Wooyoung will. Forever” 

“But they’re my parents. They’re supposed to be here for me!”

“Joong...”

“Can’t I ever please them?”

“I’m sorry, Hongjoong, I don’t think I can answer that” Seonghwa whimpers quietly, trying to reply tactfully. 

“Seonghwa, I need to go. I hear footsteps-“

“Hongjoong!” Seonghwa groans as the jingle of the phone cut sound effect goes off. Blinking back his tears, he opens the chatroom you two share, now blurred lines of black and white and blue bubbles. 

Hwa: Sorry.

You: It’s okay.

Something feels off in the discreet way that he types. Seonghwa is quiet but he’s not a man of few words when opened up to. 

You: Are you okay?

Hwa: Yeah.

Hwa: Why?

You: Are you sure? Instinct.

Hwa: Lol that’s sharp

You: Do you want to talk about it?

Hwa: There’s nothing wrong, dove. I’m just tired.

You: Try get a glass of warm milk.

You: You can talk to me if you feel crappy, okay? Whenever you need it.

Hwa: Thank you, Y/n. But I think that I can only take you up on that offer when it’s my issue to talk about, I don’t think I can tell you this time. 

Hwa: We started giving Jihyo therapy, by the way. 

Hwa: So thank you, for everything you’ve done.

You: Alright, I understand. But if you need help with anything, you don’t have to tell me who it is, but maybe I can help.

Hwa: Thanks, but I’ll try to figure this one out on my own <3 

Hwa: Hey, I think I should try and sleep. 

Hwa: Goodnight, cutie

You: Goodnight, Hwa 

“Congratulations, Hongjoong! You won!!!” Yunho claps the smaller man on the back, who then flinches. Seonghwa looks concerned and pulls Hongjoong into his chest for a brief moment, quickly enough to allow a window of time to brush tears away.

“Thanks, guys!” He giggles, and a dazzling smile blinds everyone in the room. “I’ll do my best to impress all of you, so don’t abandon me!” He laughs at his little joke and so does everyone else. But Seonghwa is not laughing. 

“Tough luck, Hwa! It was so close!” You pat his shoulder, and he grins at you. 

“I’m free from burden, what’s this about?” He chuckles, his baritone voice a sweet melody. The sunlight is dim and the shades of the afternoon haze are bright and pastel blues. 

“Really?”  The smile on his lips seems forced, not reaching his eyes as per usual. Heat from the atmosphere scorches you and the rising tension in the room doesn’t cool it down either.

“Yeah”

You leave it at that. 

As you’re about to ask him if Jihyo needs babysitting, Hongjoong clasps onto the dark haired boy’s sleeve. “Can we talk?” You hear the short man’s voice and how it dangerously wobbles. 

“Sure” Seonghwa turns away and you don’t fail to notice the comforting hand around Hongjoong’s shoulder. 

“Hwa?” You’re surprised by two hands suddenly picking you up and lifting you to the air, an uncharacteristic squeal emerging from a pair of cherry red lips. “Are you okay?” You giggle, warm at the small laughs from the other. 

“Yeah! More than okay!” Seonghwa sighs and puts you down. “Sorry, I got too excited. It’s just that... I’m happy for a friend” Seonghwa would normally blush and lifting you up and perhaps even apologise for doing so but there’s something occupying his brain that makes him steer away from even you. 

“That’s great! I’m so proud of Hongjoong” You smile sweetly, the golden-orange hues of sunlight framing your face, Seonghwa looks a little taken aback. 

“You- you knew?” 

“I knew who it was, not what was going on” You correct him and Seonghwa looks admiringly at you.

“Are you psychic? You know everything about other people...” The gleaming stars in his eyes become more dim and melt into the sea of his eyes like cubes of sugar.

“Well... I’m observant?” 

Seonghwa nods. Like him, you’re in a world of your own but so alive and free in the real world too. It’s too beautiful too block out, so you walk along the fine line of the little flower filled bubble with Seonghwa and the world of the classrooms with the scent of vanilla and sunshine. 

“Hmm, Y/n...”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free this Saturday?” He hums, fiddling with a lock of black silky hair that keeps falling in his face.

“Yeah...” You reach up and pin back his hair with a pretty hairpin, decorated with a tiny plastic moonflower. The way Seonghwa’s cheeks become pink remind you of the purple hue of potassium permanganate bleeding into the water in the biology demonstration the teacher showed you.

With Seonghwa.

You realise you do a lot of things with Seonghwa.

You ate with him many many times (With Hongjoong and Yunho tagging along at times. You went to concert with Daehyun, Jihyo and him last month. The tickets decorate your wall, covered in doodles of little flowers. You helped him with his speeches for his election, often staying after school to fan him off and correct his grammar as his mental health spiralled downwards. 

It makes you feel all warm and butterflies gather, spreading their wings and flying about your body in a flurry of heartfelt affection. You look at him again, his eyes no longer tainted with dark circles and replaced with a rosy blush. 

You can’t beat around the bush anymore, or else it will grow into a forest. A forest where Seonghwa may no longer roam in.

“It’s going to be Saturday” You tell yourself as you thread baby blue ribbons into your hair, matching the light blue frock and pale yellowish white oversized cardigan. Blue butterflies adorn your ears as they hang down on silver earrings.

“It’s going to be today”

You’re surprised you haven’t passed away yet from the sheer beauty of Park Seonghwa. His blue silk blue blouse hangs down to reveal a little bit of his slightly bronze chest and you want to target the mole on it with a kiss attack. He gasps softly and pings your hanging earring. “We’re matching” 

The silk of his shirt and the blue of your dress are very similar in hue, and you make a sound of realisation. “Woah we are” Seonghwa chuckles and taps your nose. 

“On Saturdays, we wear blue” And he yelps as you gently smack him on the shoulder.

“Don’t clown Gretchen like that, she’s my baby” You nag him as you practically inhale the piece of cake no longer on your plate. You tried to by dainty at first but you thought of future dates and thought it would be alright if you loosened up before tightening them. 

Seonghwa chuckles shyly. “I really like this cafe, you know. It’s pretty” His eyes wander the cafe, scanning the blue walls and little artificial moonflowers in baskets. 

“Yeah! And the cake is amazing. Doesn’t Yunho work here?” You laugh. 

“Mhmm, he loves the aesthetic of it too. It’s partially why he wears so many of those clips” His lips suddenly part into an “o” shape. “Oh! I forgot to give you the clip!” Seonghwa pulls out the pretty moonflower hairpin, looking even smaller in his large hand. As you’re about to reach out for it he swipes it out of your reach, a little grin playing on his face. “Hold still, Y/n” And you feel his fingers swipe through your hair along with the metal of the clip. “You look better in it than I do. Daehyun bullied me about it all night” He pulls a face and you chuckle. 

As you two walk out of the cafe and into the park behind it, you see the hues of sunset bleeding into the horizon. You sift through your phone as you wait for Seonghwa to come back from the bathroom. 

“Boo!” 

“SWEET JESUS” You yelp and you’re about to smack him in the chest but you see the pink wrapping of the florist beside the cafe. He gently places them in your hands. White moonflowers pop out and the calming husky scent makes you sigh.

“Hehe, scared you” He ruffles your hair and you look into his eyes. You expect the mischievous glint in his eyes but they are replaced with a warm loving stare. The light of the sun flickers in his eyes and the breeze kisses your skin. 

“Hwa?”

“Y/n, hear me out” He goes a little pink, playing with a strand of his hair.

“I really like you. A lot. I mean, I love you. It’s- I don’t know why. It’s not because you’re just so beautiful and adorable- which you are! I’m not denying it! But you’re so... Thoughtful and sincere. And I was thinking that maybe you could be my girlfriend?” His voice is deeper but laced with awkward tension. You look at his face, growing redder at the second and you smile. 

“Me too”

“Pardon?!”

“I love you too” 

“R-really? You’re not just saying that-“ Seonghwa excitedly grasps your hands in his. 

“Yes, really. Hwa, I really respect how you’re so caring and kind. With Jihyo, Daehyun and Hongjoong. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met”

Seonghwa’s eyes shine, perhaps with happy tears or the light of shimmering sky.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yep” 

Seonghwa tries to lean in and pinches your cheeks, “Pucker up”

“I can’t stop smiling”

The dark haired boy doubles down with laughter before squishing your cheeks, “Better?”

“Better” You say, but it comes out muffled. 

His lips gently brush against yours, his hand doesn’t leave your face and you gently lace your fingers through his dark locks and he sighs into the kiss, leaning further into you and supporting your figure against the wall behind you. 

“You know why I gave you moonflowers?”

“Why?”

“The clip, it was really pretty” He taps it, re-adjusting it and planting a kiss on your forehead. “But moonflowers are my favourite too, so I thought they would look prettier with you holding them” He giggles a little bit at the cheesy words. “I love you”

“I love you too, Seonghwa” You capture his lips in another kiss. 

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez san #ateez smut #ateez yunho #jeong yunho #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa #seonghwa

[stoopsbookstore]

The Wolf (Chapter 1)

Warnings - Chapter features violence, gore and character deaths

“Yuta! Wake up!” Johnny smacked the younger wolf awake, the forest ablaze around them, “we have to go!”

“What’s happening, what’s going in?” Yuta stood up, his legs wobbly underneath him.

“Some guy set the forest on fire, says he’s looking for you,” Taeyong transformed, running for his life after sharing the information with Yuta.

“We need to get out of here, it’s not safe!” As a wolf, Doyoung gathered the younger pack, leading them away from the inferno.

Yuta saw his packmates run in various direction, Kun and Xiaojun darting to pick up Taeil who had been burnt on his hind legs, Haechan staying with Ten as they attempted to grab their heirlooms, chaos and madness all around them.

“Hello there, bastard child,” a black wolf with a white streak on his back bared his teeth at Yuta, trying to transform, but for some reason could only sprout his ears, “long time, no see.”

Yuta started running, seeing his friends and family getting slaughtered, wolves attacking them relentlessly.

“Yuta! Help me!” Jisung reached for the male, only for the lead wolf to come up and stomp on his neck.

“You’ll never be a member, you stupid fuck!” The wolf started making his way to Yuta, bracing himself against a tree, “you’ll always be alone!”

Yuta woke up in the classroom screaming, the entire class turning around to stare at him. His forehead was covered in sweat and his eyes red for tears he didn’t realize he shed.

“Im sorry, Mr. Nakamoto, does Romeo and Juliet scare you that much?” Mr. Shindong asked, the chalkboard full of notes of the play and his notebook full of nothing but drool.

“Sorry, sir,” Yuta murmured out, his eyes a dull red, calming himself down as everyone went back to not paying attention except one girl, a sympathetic look on her face.

“Because of that interruption, I think it would be to dismiss class early,” The professor glared at Yuta, “and maybe some of you should focus on getting more sleep instead of getting more pussy.”

The class cheered, gathering their stuff together, Yuta staying back as his friends, Johnny and Doyoung, came up to him.

“Dude, what was that all about?” Doyoung felt Yuta’s forehead with the back of his hand, “are you sick?”

Johnny swatted his hand away from the panicking boy, knowing exactly what’s wrong, “what did you see?”

“A vision of my mom’s pack leader, he burnt everything down,” Yuta shivering as they walked out of the classroom, a pair of eyes on them, "I couldn't save Jisung, I couldn't save anyone."

“Should we tell Taeyong?”

"Tell him what? Yuta had a dream where we all were slaughtered," Doyoung stared at the tallest male, "he would lock us up and throw away the key."

"Well, what do you expect we do?" Johnny swatted at Doyoung, accidentally whacking into Y/N, their classmate, "oh shit! Sorry!"

"No, it's okay," Y/N rubbed her head, Yuta reaching out his hand, "thank you."

The second their hands touched, a jolt of electricity racing through their bodies. Yuta froze, his face stuck in terrror. Y/N took her hand back, staring at the trio in horror.

"You won't being able to save her, fool," a disembodied voice taunted Yuta, looking around to see his friends had vanish and Y/N was strung up, dangling by her legs over a pit of fire, "just because she's your meant to be doesn't mean you'll be with her. You're going to ruin everything for her."

The chain around Y/N's legs disappearing, dropping her as Yuta screamed.

His scream brought him back to the real world, his friends covering his mouth, Johnny helping Y/N up, rubbing her hand.

"Did you feel that, too?" Y/N questioned Yuta, his forehead sweating and his eyes still bulging out.

Y/N ripped a corner of a piece of a paper, scribbling her number on it with a dying pen, the ink fading.

"Call me later please."

Y/N made her exit, Yuta pocketing the number while Johnny pulled out his own phone to call Taeyong.

"Joh-"

"No, Doyoung, he needs to know," Johnny nudged his friend away, "Taeyong, skip your next class, Biology can wait. I'm sure Professor Heechul wouldn't care about you missing one class. It's about Yu- yes. He had a nightma- yes. We think we found his m- Y/N, that girl from our English class. We're on our wa- she just left, but she gave us her name."

Johnny started walking, leaving Doyoung and Yuta in the hall, waving at them to follow him, the trio hustling through the hallways, looking for another one of their members.

Upon arriving at the computer lab, they saw their youngest, Jisung. Johnny walked up and handed the phone to the member affectionately called "their baby," his face terrified as Taeyong began panicking on the phone.

"I have cla- What do you mean Yuta had a nig- and his ma- I'll pack up my stuff," Jisung took out his flashdrive, shoving everything in his bag before the four boys ran out of the classroom, the youngest boy giving the phone back to Johnny.

"We're on our way, we have Jisung. Talk to you later."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mom, have you ever touche-"

"Honey, I already gave you the talk."

"Not like that," Y/N groaned, "I mean, I bumped into this three guys and when one of them was helping me up, I got a shock and then I saw a vision."

Leann stood in silence, her eyes looking at the pot of spaghetti sauce, avoiding the topic, "How about you try some of this?"

"Mom."

"Honey, we can't tell you right now, I'm sorry," she threw the spoon in the sink, "I wish I could and now that we know you're carrying on the family legacy, we have to do this in a very careful way. But what I can tell you in that I come from a very long line of werewolf hunters."

"Hunters?"

"Yes. And I married your stepfather for an alliance that would help us grow in numbers and wipe out the wolves," Y/N looked to the counter, tracing random etchings in the marble as her mother continued, "while I love Shindong, this is mainly for your protection. There's a lot you're going to find out in the next few weeks and we want you to be ready."

"We knew this day was going to come," Shindong had entered the room, kissing the top of Leann's head, "we can start training this weekend. Let me grade all of these works and I can introduce you to what's about to happen. The first paper is one of those half-breeds, Yuta."

Y/N jumped at the name, unnoticed by her parents, "I should go to bed, get well rested for the big day, I guess."

She ran to her room like a speeding bullet train, her heart pounding, as she slid down the door.

Werewolves are real? Any sort of legends surrounding the town could've been real.

Y/N got up from the floor, falling onto her bed before replaying the vision from earlier.

"Help! Someone please!" Y/N tried to wiggling out of the chains, the flames making her sweat waterfalls.

She noticed a wolf, gray fur with bright green eyes growling at a huge black blur, spewing gibberish out of his mouth. The wolf growled as the blur slashed at him. The canine fell to the floor before changing into Yuta, a classmate of Y/N's. The blood ran from his body, the blur laughing at Y/N, her chains dropping her into the inferno.

"Fuck!" Y/N woke up, her body sweaty from the nightmare, her room dark, the moon the only light shining through the window.

A patch of fur had been left near Y/N's pillow. She picked it up, turning on her light to examine it.

It was gray, the same color as Yuta's in her dream.

#yuta #nct scenarios #nct au #nakamoto yuta #nct imagines #nct smut #the wolf #halloween series #my writings

[pennyfynotes]

8.2.18 // 4:30pm // school subjects and AP exams oh my

so i recently (ok not so recently i’m sorry super busy rn) got an ask from an anon about subject specific tips and ap exams. this is the masterpost i told you to look out for ;). there are no ap exams in college, but some of the stuff is still applicable. i did my best to be as comprehensive as possible and dump everything in one place. hope this is helpful! xoxo, m ps. guess where the actual tips are?    if you said “under the cut” then you’re right bc i’m predicable af

tips by subject:

languages (i took spanish): 1. flashcards are your friend. i don’t care if they’re digital (would recommend quizlet or studyblue) or paper, but they help immensely with either vocab or things like remembering literature.

2. charts are also your friend. conjugations giving you a hard time? write out a chart of the different tenses and the conjugations for each subject. put down some of the irregulars too.

3. acronyms/pnemonics are also also your friend. a lot of these already exist, you just have to go find them. i’m pretty sure i still remember what “wedding” stands for for the spanish subjunctive.

4. it’s ok to start over. it’s easy to start a sentence based on what you’d say in english. you’re doing fine until *bam* you hit that word/phrase you really need but you have no clue how to say it. whether it’s an oral or written exam, take a few seconds to think about it and, if you can’t figure it out, just back track. restart the sentence and rework it. better to do that than to lose all your time thinking of one word you may or may not know.

5. skirt around things. if you can’t remember how to say fridge but you really need to say it for something, just say “machine that keeps food cold” or something. it might sound silly,  but it gets the point across and removes the road block.

6. make a list. no, not a to do list. if there’s phrases you find yourself reaching for all the time, but you can never remember, make a list of them and their translations. it might be because its a phrase/part of a sentence structure you use a lot in your native language or whatever. make that list and drill just those few phrases into your head. it’s helpful

english/language arts: 1. proofread. i guarantee you’ll find a mistake, a sentence that makes no sense, or one that just sounds cringy. thank me later.

2. have a damn thesis. its ok if you just need to write and spit words/ideas out for a while to figure it out. but figure it out.

3. conclusion ~= introduction. for those of you who didn’t get the tilde, it means not. yes, they both tie your points to your thesis but they are not to same. do not just reword the same information in the conclusion. push your ideas just a little further. i usually like the push them a little bit outside the realm of what i talked about in my paper. for example, if i focused on the first 5 chapters of the book in the rest of my paper, i’ll expand the ideas to the rest of the book. or if i’m talking about female characters and focus on just one or two, i’ll use the conclusion to potentially connect it to another.

4. have favorites. pick a few fav transitions, sentence structures, and fancy vocab words. basically build a toolbox. this way you won’t have to think as hard when you want to “spice up” your work.

5. summaries only go so far. once you get to higher level english classes, there will be a lot of analysis of specific imagery, or wording, or dialogue. reading cliff notes is only going to give you the plot and none of this. if you don’t have time to read and you’ve been assigned a pretty standard english novel/play/whatever, take the time to look up some famous quotes or symbols. they’ll probably come up in discussion and this will help you look less unprepared.

6. have on question/comment ready. if your teacher/prof is into discussions and grades on participation, it’s handy to write down one (or a few) things. it’s easy to forget what you were going to say while you follow the discussion and it sucks to get docked points for not saying anything. even if it’s just a thoughtful question, jot it down.

history: 1. lol prob my weakest subject, just go see the apush (ap us history) section bc i don’t have much more for you than that.

science: 1. back to basics. i say it all the time, i’ll say it again. really understand basic concepts. they will come back. i’m serious.

2. pattern recognition. science problems are often times about recognizing patterns. once you identify the type of problem it is, even if you’ve never seen the exact one/something similar before, solving it becomes way easier.

3. make a recipe book. tied to the last one, but once you recognize a type of problem, you need steps to solve it. go through any practice problems you’re given to determine all the “types” of problems. once you’ve categorized them, make yourself a step-by-step guide on how to solve.

4. flashcards. you’ll have to know polyatomic ions or random biology facts. see languages tip #1 for more.

5. note your errors in lab. if you do something wrong, don’t just try to brush it under the table and forget about it. not that it’s a big deal, because its not, so don’t freak out. they’re just great opportunities to note sources of error. i mean obviously dont write in your lab report that you weren’t paying attention and mixed the wrong chemicals, but something like “we may not have waited sufficient time for the product to dry” can explain why you got 800% yield.

6. have a toolkit. kinda like a recipe book, but just a collection of straight facts that come up often. knowing common molecular weights and chemical properties (is ammonia acidic or basic?) will make things go faster. like i said earlier, polyatomic ions are also great.

7. brush up on some simple arithmetic. similar to the tool kit, this will just make things go faster. being able to quickly add things and calculate easy percentages (ex: 30%) will make things like hw and exams go faster. i’m of the opinion it’s always good to know how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide w/o a calculator (on paper, not all in your head)

bonus: math #5 and #7

math: 1. see science #1

2. see science #2

3. see science #3

4. see science #4. see a pattern here? you might wonder why you need to flashcard math, but it’s good for learning equations or the names of certain techniques. if the prof asks you to solve something using X technique and you don’t know what that is, that’s gonna pose a problem. also good for the unit circle (don’t get me started)

5. figure out your speed. this is applicable to most everything, but i find it most relevant for math. is it better for you to speed through the whole exam and then do it all again/check it over 2x? or for you to take it slow so you know you got everything right the first time? personally i use the first approach, but i’m a fast taker and prefer to have time to process between repeating problems instead of staring at it forever once and never looking again.

6. science #7. a lot of teachers will expect you to be able to do this.

7. go over the material a couple times. also applicable to everything. i find it’s easier to remember things when i know that concepts are connected. you might have learned X 3 weeks before Y, but if you go back over, you might realize they’re closely related. this will help you if you’re not sure on a test because you can reason through things using the connections you’ve drawn

tips by ap course (obv look at the subject above bc i will be giving *really specific stuff* here that i’ve gathered from experience. they’re also ordered by when i took them, sorry it’s not super logical but i didn’t want to forget one)

general ap course/exam tips: 1. practice exams. you need to be familiar with what will/will not show up. you don’t always need to simulate and real testing situation, but i’d recommend doing at least 1-2 that way. also *know how many questions they’re are you so can pace yourself!!!!*

2. college board is pretty good about giving topic breakdowns. use those. go through and figure out what topics you’re solid on and which need more work. the above tip is to help decipher what the topics actually mean bc it can be confusing.

3. give the free response a quick flip through. do the ones you’re confident on first.

4. make sure you know the policies/what you can bring. don’t want to forget something. also once our test administrator tried to stop us 10 minutes early, but we were on top of our shit and all gave her a death glare bc we knew when we were supposed to finish.

ap chemistry: 1. polyatomic ions and molecular weights. know them

2. chapter/section reviews (in addition to class notes) and how-to guides. my teacher made us make them and let’s just say your girl did *really* well (and i’m damn proud of that one)

3. do a quick skim of the free response. applicable to most exams but, the year i took it, they’d just remade and re-curved the exam and put *way* too many free response. like no one finished them. if that’s still the case, make sure you do the one’s you’re confident on. also, i did not get to like 3 questions and still got a 5. they may have fixed this idk. (sorry this is redundant but i wanted to give this ap chem exam specific info)

ap environmental science: 1. there is a lot of damn information here. i would use chapter outlines and pick out key terms, policies, and events etc. treat this like a history class.

2. for the exam, use common sense. most of the time, the most environmentally friendly answer is the right one. if you just have a general gist of the course and its topics, but don’t know a lot of details, go with your intuition and you should be fine. i didn’t have a lot of time to study for this one and this method worked for me.

ap calc bc: 1. memorize standard derivatives. power rule, sin and cos, chain rule. that’s important.

2. similarly, memorize standard integrals.

3. don’t forget +c for indefinite integrals. just don’t.

4. similarly, if it’s definite, don’t forget to evaluate at the end! super easy thing to do, but also super easy way to lose points if you forget.

5. if the integral looks complicated, that probably means there’s a “trick” involved. u substitution, integration by parts, trig substitution. something like that.

6. memorize some standard series’, operations, and types (arithmetic, geometric etc)

7. if you’re looking at a word problem, understand what is dependent on your variable and what isn’t (in other words, what’s a constant). for example, if it says the water flows into the barrel at 50 mL/s and flows out at 1/5 times the volume, that translate to F = 50 - (1/5)V. don’t make things more complicated by trying to write everything in terms of V (in this example). also, your equation might just be a constant term or just a variable term doesn’t have to be both.

8. know what your derivative is with respect to/what it really means. aka if your problem is talking about flow and volume, how are they related to each other? flow is the change in volume *with respect to time*. so if i differentiate volume with respect to time, i get flow. if i integrate flow with respect to time, i get volume. this also helps you make sense of word problems.

*disclaimer*: it is been 5 years since i took this class and i have taken quite a few math classes after. i apologize if i introduce anything that is a little irrelevant.

ap spanish language: 1. flashcard. like seriously. there’s gonna be vocab involved.

2. understand what’s asked. for the persuasive email. *be persuasive*

3. toolkit. i mentioned this before but this was probably the most useful for this class. our teacher gave us a bunch of fancier words to use instead of causar (to cause) because that was a word we’d need a lot. the one that still sticks with me 4 years later is fomentar. have a few alternatives for these kinds of super common words, a good greeting and closing for your email, and a set of good transitions. *make sure you know how to use them properly*

4. write stuff down during listening. you can either answer questions during the first listen, then take notes the second to catch stuff you missed or vice versa.

5. it’s ok to backtrack in the speaking. don’t let yourself get stuck and just not say anything. it’ll freak you out for the rest of the exam and will rob you from showing off what you know. also take notes of things you want to mention based off cultural knowledge of the situation related to the dialogue.

6. don’t zone out. with everything going on and all the stress, it’s easy to zone out (esp during the conversation). don’t do it or you’ll have a hard time responding and freak yourself out (again)

7. don’t lose your place in the convo! they give you a sheet that shows you how many times the other “person” will talk. i lost track and said goodbye one segment early. it was bad ok. all these conversation tips are from personal experience.

ap statistics: 1. know the different kinds of tests inside and out. know the differences and the conditions. if you’ve got that, you’re like 75% the way there.

2. be familiar with sample vs population. it’s a bit confusing, but take the time to understand.

3. ok sorry i really don’t remember anything else. this exam really isn’t that difficult (in my opinion), you’ll be ok.

ap physics c: 1. free body diagrams. understand how to draw them *and draw them*. they will carry you through mechanics. draw gravitational force, normal if there’s a surface, and then any other given forces.

2. basic equations. you get an equation sheet, but knowing the equations means you know the concepts and the relations between them. big ones are f=ma and the equations relating position (x), velocity (v), and acceleration (a). also friction f=uN.

3. *normal isn’t always the opposite direction of gravity!!!!* gravity is straight down. normal is perpendicular to the surface.

4. vector components. please don’t just add vectors. break them down into components and then add or you are so fucked.

5. get familiar with triangles. this will help with the whole component thing.

6. kirchoffs rules are so helpful. know them.

7. understand the relations between voltage/potential and current in terms of the properties of circuit elements. that means the equations for resistors, capacitors, and inductors.

8. know how to add in parallel and series. it’s important. also! if the circuit is drawn “weird” a good way to know series vs parallel is that parallel elements share two nodes and that series circuits only share 1.

9. sorry i kinda blocked out E+M bc i didn’t know what i was doing (or so i thought). i still got a 4 tho so that curve is generous.

ap us history: 1. chapter outlines. pretty self explanatory.

2. make a timeline. put important events, sentiments, policies, and presidents. if you can associate these things together into time periods it will be easier. most of the time, any one question (esp long response or whatever they’re called) will only focus on 1 time period.

3. sentiments are important. if you know nothing else, know these bc they will help guide you through questions by reasoning even if you know nothing else.

4. gilder lehrman (or similar us history summaries). these are tailor specifically to apush bc they are organized by period (i think that’s what they were called?). i actually fell asleep listening to these bc i didn’t have time to study. they were mildly helpful, but every little bit helps right?

ap psychology: 1. chapter outlines/flashcards. this course is based heavily on key terms and less so on larger concepts.

2. ok sorry i took this online i remember literally nothing except how annoying my teacher was and that the exam was easy. if you know terminology i think you should do fine.

ap biology: 1. there is a lot. go through all the topics and make sure you’re solid. start with the big picture, then think about narrowing down.

2. know how charts work. things like pedigrees, punnet squares, and evolution trees (that’s def not the right term). some of the exam will just be interpretation of this.

3. i am so sorry i remember nothing else.

ap spanish literature: 1. flashcards. title, author, time period, short summary, key elements (a line, character, symbol). this is *so helpful*

2. think about the works in relation to each other. you might be asked to compare them. even if they ask you to compare something on the reading list with something new, you’ll be familiar with the points you might talk about.

3. know the lit terms. more flashcards. associate them with a particular work if you can/need to.

4. don’t freak on the listening. a lot of the recordings are old and shitty quality. take a deep breath and try your best. know that the rest of the test takers (excepting maybe natives) are experiencing the same thing.

5. use that tool box. see general spanish and ap spanish lang.

this is so freaking long and i think the moral of the story is that i blocked out my senior year ap exams. i hope this was helpful and, if you have more questions, or want more stuff like this, let me know!

#pennyfynotes #pfynguides #masterpost #tips #backtoschool #bts #school #study #studyblr #student #high school #ap exams #science #literature #english #spanish #math #university #college #hufflepuffwannabe #noodledesk #gloomstudy #pinetreestudies #jiyeonstudies #obsidianstudy #castillos-co #universi-tea

[timeisacephalopod]

Rewards Points

Remember that YouTube AU I wrote with Peter Q/ Stephen/ Tony? Well I liked it so I’m writing more of it. So this is more of that (also if you want to find the first you can locate it under YouTube AU and also IronStarQuill).

Tony considers the empty spot beside him and Peter is doing the same. “Have we ever done a video without Stephen?” he asks eventually. 

He shakes his head, “pretty sure we haven’t. How do we start this?”

“Why are we even confused? He never starts these things, most of our videos are us talking,” Peter points out.

Its true for the most part but Stephen always has something to say and now Tony is confused without his presence. “Maybe we should wait until he’s back,” he says,

Peter considers it, he can see Peter consider it, but he eventually shakes his head. “Nah, he’d be pissed we didn’t stick to the schedule. You know how he is.” Shit does he ever, Stephen is a damn stickler for being on time and schedule. It works for Peter, who’s usually under a time crunch on set, but Tony has never liked being on time or on schedule. He makes his own times and schedules and everyone else works around him.

“How is it possible that none of our schedules have ever conflicted with these videos before?” he asks. That simply isn’t possible- Peter’s jobs might be always up in the air, but Stephen and Tony travel consistently for their jobs. Especially him.

“We do dark weeks when none of us are going to be around,” Peter says. “Which usually means only one of us is around. Its just weird luck that two of us are here and Stephen is off doing doctor things. I think, I didn’t really ask,” Peter says.

“He’s giving a talk on spines or something like that, I have a hard time keeping up,” he admits.

Peter looks instantly relieved. “Jesus, I thought I was the only one. I mean you’re a genius and all that and Stephen can go on for hours if you let him.”

That’s an understatement but yeah, Tony has a hard time keeping up with language he doesn’t understand. He spends a lot of time looking up the terms Stephen uses on the fly but none of it seems to stick in his mind. Biology is not the kind of science he finds interesting unless it involves technology somehow. “Yeah, I don’t really care about spine things. I mean I care that Stephen cares but I don’t really know anything about it,” he says.

They sit awkwardly for a long moment before Peter speaks up. “What was this video supposed to be about?” he asks, defaulting to wrangling duties, Tony supposes.

“You pissing off studios because you thought it was funny,” he says. It’s a topic Stephen wouldn’t have much to contribute to anyways, hence them choosing it over other topics of interest. Like people’s weird need to know about Stephen and Peter’s early feud that Tony didn’t know existed but apparently got pretty vicious until they decided maybe they weren’t each other’s enemy. Tony doesn’t know if his total lack of knowledge of this means Peter and Stephen were subtle or if he’s completely dense but he’s leaning towards dense. Neither Stephen nor Peter know anything of subtlety.

“Right, yes,” Peter says. “So anyone who watches these things probably keeps up with me or Tony so you’ve probably already seen that trailer that nearly got me fired from my own fucking movie- like literally I wrote it, I’m directing it, and I’m one of the producers too, how the hell were they going to fire me? Okay I mean it can happen but given the response the trailer got I didn’t get fired,” Peter says.

Tony shakes his head because none of Peter’s fretting made any sense when his job was on the potential chopping block. “What the hell was the problem anyways? You soft of freaked out about maybe being fired but you didn’t actually say why.”

Peter sighs, “alright- so some background. No one wanted to do a movie about a gay guy who’s gayness was kind of irrelevant to the actual story for one- guess people don’t understand that being gay isn’t usually the only important thing about a person. So that was a strike against me. Then the problem was that no one big enough was attached to it so I asked Tony to do me a favor considering he had a lot in common with the character anyways so that saved my ass for five minutes. Then it turned out the kid that was cast as his son is trans, not like I knew that because I don’t make a habit of telling people to whip it out in auditions, so that was a thing,” he says, making a face. 

“Whatever. So when people stopped yelling about that they basically told me I was supposed to sell the story based on Tony’s fanbase but I didn’t want to do that so instead of making the reveal in the trailer that Tony is in it, I had the guys who cut the trailer stick him in less than thirty seconds into it and let the damn story sell itself. So that caused a whole new round of problems but people’s response to it was basically ‘wow, he didn’t use Tony Stark as his selling point, the story looks good!’ And that’s how I managed to keep my job,” he says.

“Not to be like... ungrateful or anything, but my fanbase is either a bunch of lovely human beings or the kind of guys who watch Fight Club and want to start a fight club. There’s no in between, and the guys who’d want to start a fight club would be pissed about the gay thing because dating two guys still doesn’t make me gay. I mean they’re kind of right, I’m bisexual but still, I’m not straight.” God knows he hates the half of his fanbase that thinks the time he spent drinking too much and acting like a complete jackass was a good way to live life but he can’t exactly do much about it now. Sure, he’s expressed plenty of distaste towards people who are like that, but no one seems content to listen.

Peter snorts, “oh my god, sidenote- one time Stephen and I looked you up. Can’t remember why but this was back before we stopped hating each other so we were probably looking for some kind of evidence that you loved one of us more than the other. Anyway, so we came across this entire blog that was dedicated to talking about how you ruined yourself by being too ‘PC’, and that dating Stephen and I was for ‘PC’ points. You know what, looking back on it I think that’s the first time Stephen and I bonded because we both thought it was hilarious that a real human being would genuinely think that you’d date someone just to be politically correct,” he says.

Tony lets out a long, drawn out sigh because this is the kind of shit he hates. “Yeah, obviously I date people to be politically correct. Bonus points because Stephen isn’t white,” he says sarcastically. 

“I think Stephen’s personality strips all those bonus points. I love him but he’s a total dickhead. I think I should earn more bonus points,” Peter says.

“None of you are earning any points, I’m not a points reward card, you can’t redeem your points at my non-existent cash register. If I were to award points though Stephen gets points for being a freakishly good kisser and you get points for being better at cuddling than Stephen,” he says. Stephen isn’t meant to cuddle, he gets home and if you touch him he literally growls until he’s slept for a few hours. Then he expects attention until he gets sick of it. Sort of like a cat.

Peter nods, “I’m not even mad about it, Stephen is a freakishly good kisser. I mean usually kissing is more a means to an end for me but Stephen makes it a whole show. Honestly I feel like a fucking golden retriever next to that,” he says, shaking his head.

Yeah, Peter has a lot less skill but so does Tony so its not like he can judge. “Ok. Stephen is a good kisser, that’s established. Back to you almost getting fired,” he says, preforming the necessary wrangling duties.

“Right! So yeah, anyways I also got into an argument about the kid, what’s his name?” he asks Tony.

“Peter,” he says. Kid is smart too, Tony likes him.

“Yeah, Peter. Eventually I got annoyed enough that I told them we keep the kid or I walk, which means you walk, which also takes your portion of the funding and they can have fun unkilling a dead project they all like now because you got involved. Needless to say I won,” Peter says.

Tony raises an eyebrow, “you did all that for some random unknown actor?” he asks, surprised.

Peter shrugs, “no one knew who I was either at one point. Then my fuckface dad almost ruined it for me when people did finally start to pay attention. Anyways, point is you and the kid have chemistry, I’m not recasting because I didn’t ask what junk looked like during auditions. That’s weird, invasive, and also technically discriminatory. Seriously though, the screen tests will not be the same with anyone else. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was your actual kid, you two work amazingly together and you actually produce good improv. Improv is hard,” he says but Tony doesn’t really know. He’s improvised near everything in his life so he’s gotten good at it. And the kid has talent and he’s fun to work with, Tony likes his memes.

“Pretty sure it wouldn’t actually matter, I’m good with him because I like kids, not because I like him specifically. I mean in two years he’ll be bitter and sad because the world is shit and seems intent on crushing people to death but you know. He’s fun now, while he still has hope and child-like wonder and all that.” Tony hopes he’ll be able to keep that bright light of wonder and happiness but he knows that’s probably never going to happen. Kid is different and the world has always punished anyone who doesn’t fit the status quo.

“Whatever, I don’t care if you like kids, I’m not replacing the kid I got for stupid reasons,” he says. “He’s fucking adorable and you two get along well, it’ll look good on camera. Less work as a director for me that way.”

Tony snorts because yeah, there’s the real reason Peter fought to keep mini Peter around- less work for him.

“Has it occurred to you that you forgot the name of an actor that has the same name as you?” Tony asks.

Peter shrugs, “I’m the best Peter so I don’t remember any of the others,” he says and Tony starts laughing.

*

Stephen ends up being called in to work before he even gets home, which Tony wonders about because jet leg is a bitch, but when he does finally venture home he sleeps for a stupid amount of time before wandering into the kitchen. He recognizes his own voice- ugh- and Peter’s and frowns until he finally clues in to Stephen watching the video he and Peter did without him. It got a surprisingly high hit count and a huge amount of positivity neither of them had been expecting. They hadn’t even realized why Peter’s name was suddenly trending on Twitter until they looked through the reactions.

Seems people were pleased that Peter stood up for younger trans Peter even though none of them seemed to have clued into the fact that Peter only did it to save himself directing trouble later.

“Peter gets too much credit as an ally, he only kept mini Peter because he didn’t want to try and coach chemistry out of another random teen that’s genetically dissimilar to you,” Stephen mumbles, trudging towards the coffee. His eyes are glued to it like its going to save him from jet leg and being extra tired after a shift at the hospital.

“Oh my god, genetics do weird things sometimes and Peter looks like his movie mother, Stephen, so shut up!” Peter yells from the living room.

“His features are still genetically unlikely, you should have recast,” Stephen yells back.

“No, I don’t want to find another kid who looks that good with Tony on camera. Mini Peter is good, I don’t give a shit about genetics!” Peter yells to him.

Stephen mumbles something under his breath as he pours his coffee. “Next people are going to accuse him of dating us for PC points,” he mutters.

“That’s already happened. Also how come no one accuses you of doing that?” he asks.

“Because minorities don’t usually scramble for PC points, we’re born with them. Don’t look at me like that, I think its stupid too. Also I think Peter’s bad self insert movie about the father he wished he had with a kid that could pass as his is sad and depressing, but also creepy because he cast his boyfriend as his metaphorical dad,” Stephen mumbles. He takes a drink of his coffee just as Peter enters the room.

He obviously hears the last bit of that because he goes from looking ready to fight Stephen on genetics to disgusted in ten seconds flat. “Oh my god, how dare- I did not, Tony isn’t- He is not my father!” Peter says, horrified.

Tony shakes his head, “no, no I am not and Stephen you need to stop that. I’m not playing the role of Peter’s dad.”

“Are so. You’re officially his daddy,” Stephen says, grinning as Peter and Tony both start gagging.

“I have too many daddy issues for this shit,” Tony mumbles, gagging again. “Please tell me this isn’t actually a story about the father you wished you had,” he says to Peter.

Peter is still gagging to his left, looking so disgusted he’s about to cry. “It is, but Stephen had to fucking make it weird, I didn’t even make that connection until he made it for me.”

Tony shakes his head. “No, absolutely not, I’m leaving you both and going back to Pepper and getting no PC points for it,” he says, wrinkling his entire face is disgust.

“Well, she’s a woman running a very successful company- technically your company- so I think you get a half a PC point for that,” Stephen tells him, smiling pleasantly like he’s happy that he’s permanently ruined Tony’s relationship with Peter.

“You did this on purpose!” Peter accuses. “You know how many daddy issues Tony and I have and you totally weaponized it!”

Stephen continues drinking his coffee. “I’d like to point out that I’m clearly the superior partner because I’ve never made you my father. Though, to be fair you look nothing like him even if you’re the same height,” he says.

“Fuck you, Stephen,” Peter tells him. “I thought you got over the jealousy thing.” He pouts, giving Tony puppy eyes but he can’t look Peter in the eye right now. Or maybe ever again.

“Sure I am, but I like making you squirm and also I do find it very strange that you cast Tony as your pseudo father. Just saying, I think maybe you have more issues than you think,” Stephen tells Peter.

Peter sits down on the ground before flopping over and curling into a ball. “I hate you and my life,” he mumbles.

“Stop whining, at least you aren’t my dad!” Tony tells him.

“You aren’t my dad either, you just had a lot in common with the character!” Peter says. “Stephen only made it weird because he sucks.”

“I only pointed out the obvious,” Stephen corrects.

Tony lets out a long groan because this is going to be a painful process. Peter seems to feel the same way but Stephen, the asshole, looks utterly pleased with himself.

“Also,” Stephen adds, “next time I would actually like if you waited for me to return to do a video.”

Peter and Tony flip him off but Stephen looks utterly unrepentant.

#IronStarQuill #tony x stephen x peter Q #alternate universe #YouTube AU #fanfiction #writing #idk bois i liked this so much I decided to do more of it

[kandas]

“Allen, Hey! Are you paying attention? I’m not sure if this scarf looks good with the whole outfit, y’ know? I want Lenalee to think i’m cool…”

A rather worried but also excited red haired boy yelled, looking at himself on a big mirror the roomates shared but that was always found at Lavi’s room for some reason.

Walker was sitting on Lavi’s small and messy bed reading a book, he was focused on it instead of what he should be focused on, but that was only because deep within his heart, it hurt that it was Lavi the one going out with Lenalee.

He had been waiting for over twenty minutes for the guy to get ready…it was rather a hopeless case.

“Hey , Allen!” Lavi turned around to face his friend, throwing a random shirt with a bit of annoyance. “I’m talking to you!”

“Well, to be honest, its not my kind of fashion and its hot outside, why you’d wear a scarf?” Allen replied clearly bored.

“Well look at you always wearing pastel sweaters and shit, Pastel blue doesn’t suit you.” Lavi replied , teasing.

“Lenalee is going to be mad if you arrive late…” Allen muttered and gave Lavi a glare that would make anyone feel slightly intimidated.

“Shit! you’re right! Let’s get going!” Lavi as always screamed as he grabbed his wallet and gave himself another quick look in the mirror, then smiled to it. “Lenalee is going to be so impressed!”

“Yeah yeah…she will..”

And so, they arrived to the bar, it was completely a place that Lavi would choose and also a place Allen would never dare enter, just because it reminded him of all the times he had to pick up his drunk tutor from bars, pay the bills and sometimes even take beatings from guys Cross had pissed off.

The boy felt his stomach hurt quite a bit, he kept looking at the entrance with such nervousness and a bit of envy as well. In the background, Lavi was rambling about how impressed Lenalee was when she saw him winning some chess matches with little to no effort and how in love she must be with him…only to move on about how he met her, which made Allen’s condition worsen, he touched his stomach gently and hoped for the best.

“And Lenalee, poor thing she forgot her sweater at biology class, so of course i put my jacket on her shoulders immediately! She totally fell for me right there! Oh and also…i forgot to mention that she…”

Allen had had it with Lavi’s ramblings, he wanted out.

“Oh, there she is! Lenalee! over here!” Lavi called out for the girl with such excitement, meanwhile Allen could feel his heart sink all over again in one place. He stood up, as he was about to wave hello, his eyes caught wind of no other but the ugly punk, Yuu Kanda, walking besides Lenalee.

Allen could feel his stomach revolve even worst than before, his blood boiled so much he was sweating a bit, this couldn’t be possible…Why was this happening to him? He tried to keep his cool, because he didn’t want to ruin the date for Lavi plus he had already ruined his image in front of Lenalee once.

@allenswalker

Kanda shoved his hands into his pockets and half-listened as Lenalee went on about this dumbass named Lavi.

“I kept running into him, everywhere I went!” She had the slightest hint of a blush painted across her pale features.

“...then he gave me his coat because it was cold and I didn’t have my sweater. He’s a really great guy, Kanda!”

“I hope so,” he said half-heartedly. In truth, Kanda didn’t doubt that this guy was at least decent. Lenalee was always picky with the guys she dated. If she said this one was special, then he probably was.

Even before they entered the bar, Kanda caught the strong whiff of alcohol. He changed his previous thought. Did Lena’s dumbass date really have to pick a bar of all places? This was going to be a long night.

Kanda pushed past people, not at all caring about the angry glares he got in return.

“There he is!” Lenalee gestured toward the redhead who was waving at her and grinning like an idiot. It wasn’t he who caught his attention, however. It was the white-haired kid next to him. Allen Walker.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Kanda cursed out loud. “That fucking kid!”

Lenalee looked up at him. Her soft features crumpled into a frown. “Kanda...I know you don’t get along with Allen, but please. I really like this guy.”

Kanda stared down at her in frustration. Had this been anyone else he’d tell them to fuck off. This was Lenalee though...He sighed. This stupid date of hers better be worth it.

“Fine. But, I swear to god if he pisses me off I’m going home.”

Lenalee squeezed his hand and beamed at him, “Thank you.”

Lavi softly raised Lenalee’s hand and pressed a chaste kiss to it. Kanda rolled his eyes at the gesture. Fucking lame, he thought to himself.

“This is Allen-” Lavi said but Lenalee interrupted nervously.

“We’ve met. Allen is a classmate of mine and...” She looked between he and that beansprout. “And he’s....an acquaintance of Kanda...through me.”

“Oh...Guess I’m the odd man out here!“ Lavi laughed.

Kanda sat down in front of Walker. He crossed his arms and looked away, not at all wanting to look at the moron in front of him. He felt Allen’s feet under the table and kicked him hard in the shin. Stupid fucker, he thought.

[rfassholes]

[PLATONIC} HC where MC time travels (from the future) and they meets the RFA guys and gal and they end up feeling protective over them for no reason? like ?? they don't feel any romantic love for this MC they just "oh hello stranger that I suddenly want to keep safe" ?? and it turns out that this MC is their future child and they were just curious to see how their parents were in the past. But when MC returns to her timeline the RFA's memories about them are deleted for their own safety though.

I’m really sorry if this one was short; If you’d like me to add more, please request it with specifics! I’m sorry if that sounds stupid, considering your request was detailed. I just c o u l d n ‘ t write for some reason. Anyways, I hope you like it even if they’re short!

Yoosung:

As a child, you were always told that your dad was an amazing veterinarian, but you could never go with him to work

However, you were given the opportunity to go see him at any point in his life, so you instantly thought of his college years

He always was kinda quiet about those

You ended up on a uni campus when you had gone back and recognized it as the one your dad had a diploma from

Walking around, you were able to get ahold of his class schedule and decided to attend a lecture he had that day

Once you got to the lecture hall, you looked around trying to find a kid with bright blond hair

Yoosung was texting under the desk on his phone when you walked over to sit by him

However, instead of walking, you ended up tripping quite badly and hit yourself on his desk and bolted up asking if you were okay

“Would you like me to go get ice or something?” “No, it’s alright; thank you, though” “Well, we’ve got a few minutes until the professor shows up.

What’s your name? I’m Yoosung Kim!”

Wait shit

Do you say your name?

Well, his memories of you are going to be erased anyways

“Uh, I’m MC. MC Kim. Nice to meet you, Yoosung” He smiled quickly and responded before taking his phone out again, “Pleasure’s mine!” “Who’re you texting?” “Just some friends. We’re throwing a party in a few days, and we’re still planning”

The professor walked in before you could ask any more questions and now you had to sit through it

Oh well, your dad was probably going to be taking notes the entire time so it’d probably be boring

Nope, he continued texting

That is, until the professor was telling him off and you could see him still messaging the chat

Tch, and you thought you were bad

When the professor walked away, he spoke again “Sorry if that scared you at all. I’d just rather pay attention to my friends than biology. Maybe I could give you my number, so I know that you’re okay? You hit yourself pretty hard on my desk” “Sorry, I don’t have a phone, but you’re quite nice for asking if I’m alright”

After the lecture ended, you gave a goodbye and walked around just a bit more before you had to go, wondering about that party he was talking about

Zen:

Okay, if your dad was a fairly famous actor, his life had to have been somewhat interesting

After all, he mentioned a motorcycle gang and you knew he used to smoke and drink quite a bit

When you traveled back, you wound up on a movie set and were able to find him easily from that white ass hair of his

Figuring you had to fit in, you took a water bottle from a PA and decided to go bring it to him

“Oh, thank you” “No problem” “Woah, who’re you? Don’t think I’ve seen that cute face around here”

Oh hell no

Seriously, Dad?

“Uh, um, I’m sixteen” “Alright? Oh. OH. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ “Mhm. Anyways, I’m MC, Hyun” “How did yo-“ “Oh, um, bye! Have to go!”

You practically ran away, not noticing you took the water bottle with you

When you turned back around to make sure no security guards were following you, you saw him staring at you

Even though he wouldn’t remember this, the embarrassment still felt like it would matter

Walking quickly back over, you saw that he took out his phone and started texting, but you were determined to get it over with

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ “It’s alright. I was just worried you were feeling sick or something” “No, it’s alright. Thanks, Dad”

dAMMIT, MC

This time you actually ran

Once you were back to your time, you couldn’t look at him for a solid three days

Jaehee:

Your mother was staying up again, running up numbers for the café, and you were curious as to how she was still working

Let alone alive

You had also heard that your family friend, Jumin Han, used to be her boss

That alone had you have so much respect for her

So when you were given the opportunity to go back to the time where she worked under him, you were excited to see her

That is, until you were asked by a dozen people to get coffees in an unfamiliar room of cubicles and doors leading to offices

You ended up borrowing some paper from a random woman and went around to get all the orders

It was kind of similar to what you did in the café sometimes, anyways

Dropping off all the coffees, you had four left that were for one office

When you went to find the number, you stopped at the placard by it that read ‘Jaehee Kang’

You were trying to balance all the cups when you twisted the doorknob ad you practically fell into the room

While trying to regain your balance, you ended up spilling a two of four all over yourself and you were trying not to yell out

Sure, you had spilt a few when you were running around the café, but this shit b u r n e d

Jaehee, on the other hand, was trying to help you the moment you stumbled through the door

She couldn’t stop the cups from tipping, but she grabbed the other two before those got dropped and set them on her desk

“Would you like me to get some napkins?” “Yes, please”

She was back in barely a minute along with some burn cream and an ice pack

“I’m really very sorry that you got hurt. It’s my fault for needing so much caffeine” “Don’t worry; it’s my job” “We haven’t had new interns here in a while, so thank you for helping out. Do you want the ice pack? It should help a bit”

You only nodded and tried to set it where you had gotten burned the most

“Maybe instead of getting everyone food, would you like to help me edit some reports?” “Sure, Mo-Ms. Kang” “Jaehee is alright; what’s your name?” “MC Kang” “There’s some pens on my desk. You can grab one and read through the green one, MC. Also, make sure you don’t keep the ice pack on it constantly. You might wind up with other burns”

You ended up staying there for a couple of hours and she told you to leave after it hit eleven pm

“Have a good evening, Jaehee” “You, too, MC. Stay safe tonight”

Seven:

Your parents were very hush hush about your dad’s old work and you slightly suspicious to say the least

When you were given the opportunity to see him on the job nearly twenty years ago, you instantly agreed

You kind of regretted it now, considering you were in the middle of a forest at night

It was odd to walk around by yourself when you barely see the moon from under the trees

A little voice in your head said that you were being tricked since you’d been walking around for a couple of minutes with no sign of the red-head

And then the shouting started

“Well, I’m sorRY, MARY. We can’t all be perfect when it comes to beating the shit out of people” “You’re lucky I had my taser, dumbass”

You tried to go by the voices but ending up falling over a rock and getting your ankle wedged between it and a log

“Do you think someone else made it out?” “Always check for good measure”

Two figures with swinging flashlights were walking towards you while you were trying to roll the log away

“Not an agent” “Yeah, not an agent. Were you trying to listen to us?”

That was the voice that sounded familiar out of the two so you tried to face them as best you could

“No, I was on a hike” “At two in the morning?” “Yeah” “Do you need help? It looks like you might’ve twisted something”

The other person in a garish looking outfit started speaking

“You know we can’t bring someone back” “But they look like they’re in pain” You decided to butt in, “It’s ‘cause I am, dumbass”

One person handed their flashlight to the one in the leopard print and walked over to help you roll the log away

When they offered a hand to help you up, you recognized them as your dad and gratefully took the support to get up

“707, you can’t take them back to the bunker with you” “Watch me” “Bu-“ “Their ankle is either rolled or sprained. Do you want them stumbling around these woods at this time?” “Well, no, but you have a jo-“ “And that job is to help others”

He helped you stand up properly to walk and started leading you towards a brightly colored car, much to the dismay of the other walking behind you two

You were driven to a bunker that you recognized from pictures with a blindfold over your eyes for safety measures

Your ankle was wrapped up and your few scrapes were cleaned before he offered to drive you back to wherever you were from

“Just a few miles from here should be fine. I’ll find my way back” “You sure?” “Yep” “I’m glad we were in the woods, or else you’d still be stuck there” “Probably, thank you again” “No need”

He was the one who ended up driving you to a random intersection after driving for a few minutes

When you were about to shut the door, he spoke again, “Hey, I didn’t catch your name” “I didn’t throw it, Saeyoung”Jumin:

Being from an extremely well off family, you were curious as to how your father used to run the company

Your grandfather had only died a year or two ago and that’s when you got more involved with it

You could watch him be the big boss whenever you went to the office building

But what about when he was only the heir?

Granted, he was a director, but it still intrigued you when you had the chance to go back in time to see him

You were now standing in a hallway of what looked to be the upper stories of an office building that you easily recognized

While you were walking around taking in how the building used to look, a white cat ran past you

Only assuming it was the one from the photo albums, you followed the cat as best you could

“El-Elizabeth?” you called to the cat while it was sitting at the end of the hallway

Even though in your time this cat had died around four years ago, you still cared about it from the slightly-blurry pictures your father had showed you

At the mention of its name, the cat perked up and walked to you and you were allowed to scoop it up in your arms

Walking back through the hallways trying to find the door marked ‘Jumin Han’, you were stopped by two people in all-black suits

The first one spoke in a downright disgusting tone, “Now why is a hot piece of ass like yourself in this hallway? Did Mr. Heir dump you out here?” “No, piss off”

The second spoke with a much more business-like tone after glaring at the other

“Why are you smuggling the cat of the heir of this company?” “I’m MC Han, and just returning her”

The man didn’t want to take any chances at the name Han, so he escorted you to an office and stood outside the door while you knocked

A person called through the office, “Who is it? Did you find Elizabeth the III?” “I have your cat, Mr. Han”

At the mention of cat, the door flew open with your father holding it open

“Please come in, as you were the one to find my life mate” “Your what now?” “My Elizabeth the III” “Right”

You crouched down to let the cat out of your arms and stood back up before stepping in cautiously

“I’m indebted to you for finding her” “Not really. She was just in the hallway” “Yes, but nobody else found her. Could I ask your name?” “It’s MC Han” “I’m sorry; are you a relative?” “Not yet- I mean, not quite” “Are you a person of my father’s?” “No” “Very well, how may I repay you for bringing her back?” “You really don’t ne-“ “Yes, I do. Please answer my question” “Well, there was a guard that was harassing me earlier”

His head snapped up to you since he was sitting down to pet Elizabeth “Which?” “The one with the blond hair outside the door”

Calling once again to the outside of the door, Jumin spoke coldly, “Smith, get your ass in my office”

Seeing your father swear wanted to make you laugh, but you maintained a straight face

The guard from earlier stepped in looking around the room anxiously “Is everything alright, Mr. Han?” “Not for you. What did you tell MC earlier in the hallway?” “I asked why someone as good-looking as themselves were standing alone and if you had kicked them out” “You do realize how inappropriate that is, yes?” “Yes, Sir” “Good”

He stood up from his cat and adjusted his coat sleeve before standing right in front of the man and slapped him across the face

“You’ve thirty minutes to gather anything you have before you’re fired. Have a day”

This time, you actually laughed after the man had quickly left the room

“ ‘Have a day’ really, Da-Mr., Han?” “Well, I didn’t want him to have a nice day”

You started laughing again while he looked slightly confused“Thank you, Mr. Han” “Thank you for bringing my Elizabeth and informing me of a corrupt employee” “I’m not sure if they were corru-“ “They harassed you. That’s enough” “Well, have a good day, Mr. Han”

He gave you a simply goodbye before you left and went back to your time

When you sat down for dinner, you tried to stifle your laughter at the memory of your father bitch slapping a security guard when he sat down across from you

“Is everything alright?” “Yes, just please let me know if you ever slap someone” “Sure thing?”

Look at me actually doing two requests in one day (even though they’re like a week late I’m sorry) I hope you enjoyed these, though. I hope you all have days!

#mm headcanons #mm requests #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #mystic messenger zen #707 #saeyoung choi #jumin han

[sanfranciscoyoginigypsy]

10/23/17

there was a lot i was going to journal.. but i already forgot and the days have passed already.. so everything will most likely be a blur. OH yea at work on thursday i released some tension.. i was hungry and tired i asked ashlan if i get a break because i have a short shift and he said no and then i asked what can i eat while I'm working and he said you're not suppose to be eating when you're working and just laid it all down and got mad and said you should've ate at home and that thats what breaks are for and i should've ate before i got to work and it made me so upset i said you always cook and eat when you're working and you even take food from work like what're you talking about and he said dont look at me dont follow what i do what i do is wrong and it was so hypocritical  of him like he always cooks and eats when he's working and was basically starving and cooking food for other people and i tried asking him a question and he gave me sass and i just got quiet and was mad and upset and he tried talking to me or recognizing me and giving me a hug and i wouldn't respond or say or do anything or acknowledge him and just had a horrible day at work and was quiet and mad the whole time then a random thought of why are you so hungry you're so fat came up and i thought oh my god why did i think of that thats so awful and all these old habits came up and patterns and ashlan was offering me so much food but id ignore him and say i dont want to get in trouble or I'm not suppose to eat that and matin was being so nice and hugging me and telling me to take a break they all were and i just got so much love but i was ignoring it and now i can reflect bc i put the pieces together that that was my pattern,, when i get this feeling of someone, a man I've had or have relations to shows he doesn't care about something about me, i make a distinction he doesn't care about me to protect my self. it started with john, its something i learned and accumulated from past experiences.. he'd do things like answer the phone when the girl he cheated on me with would call and id get so upset and cry and holy shit i remember one time i told him he either block her from his life or we won't be a thing and he fucking refused!!! and was arguing with me!! what a fucking sell out!! i need to write him a letter!! i need to express this!! because its still in me and I'm surpressing and ignoring it!! i need to write a letter of expression.but anyways , id say things like “you dont care about me you know it hurts my feelings when you talk to her still or cheat on me AGGAIN and blah blah blah and he'd say i do care about you ! obviously I'm with you right now and i never learned until now i realize until now so my mind realized or made the distinction that ashlan doesn't care if I'm hungry he doesn't care about my health he doesn't care at all so when he tried talking to me or hugging me or offering me food id ignore him and keep protecting myself and thinking none of that matters bc in the end he doesn't care or he did that and i accepted my feelings and i accepted that whereas before id be like whats wrong with me why do i make myself so miserable and shitty just eat the food but no i felt this way and accepted it and in the end i clocked out and he wanted to sit in talk and i said i really want to go home and all this stuff and i said u can walk with me or not but I want to walk home and he did walk with me and he was fusrteated and upset and i was crying but within ourselves we didnt say a word and i noticed when i lashed out on him earlier in the day or when he was frustrated i wanted to touch him and kiss him and hug him and its another pattern i do like with jon when we would get into a fight or id say something mean i just wanted to kiss him and hug him afterwards and i noticed that too but we talked and i expressed to hum the protection i got into and how he hurt my feelings and how i went into the pattern of feeling fat and all this stuff and we made up and i kissed his cheek a few times and it was so cute i brought home so much food and he was even making me food at beloved he cares about me so much but before we sat down and talked outside the ashram i told him i want to go get a hug from baba and as soon as i got in the house i saw him in the kitchen and waved him towards me and i asked him if i can have a hug and he said yes and we hugged for like 5 minutes like we did when it was the first time and i cried on him and it was so nice and i think dakota patted my back but going in that house made me feel so much better after i released the tension and cried i started smiling and being so happy and everyone was there eating bc they had  a family dinner then they went to the temple and i talked to ashlan and then i got to go to free ceremony for like 5 minutes and IT WAS SO POWERFUL there was so MUCH JOY i was so overwhelmed there were soo many people and soo many great energies and i was overwhelmed i was laughing and smiling and i opened my eyes at one point and made eye contact with tarvo and he gave me this big smile and it was so nice and it made me so warm bc his acknowdlgement of me was one of the best feelings that night and when we were leaving i got persad and turned around tp close the door and he was behind me getting some too and still kept his eyes on me and smiling and i did my little crush thing where i freak out and laugh bc i was eating the persad and probably looked so funny doing it and he saw me and i told him wow i was so overwhelmed with all the joy in there and he said ya i saw you and i gave him like two big hugs and he was laughing and being happy and i went inside to eat FINALLY and everyone had such great energy and was happy and he showed me music and i was dancing and everyone was laughing and happy at me and it was so good and i invited him to see pangea with me but he said he made commitments else where but it doesn't mean he doesn't wantto go with me but later on him briksha and me ended up going and pangea didnt end up playing and we drank and it was just me and tarvo and we talked and chilled and i explained to him how music makes me feel and he said thanks for sharing ill focus on that next time and how its interesting and his wallpaper is a galaxy and i showed him mine and it was jupiter and i said we are such nerds and we walked back home and ate and talked and it was nice then slept then the next morning i swept for karma yoga and the morning was sSO GREAT TOO ananda ate next to me and paulo came up to me and hugged me and elektra said hey cutie and it was all just so great and nice then i went to the IOA grief support group and it was so tension releasing i almost didnt go bc kim invited me to yoga and i was like do i really want to leave this positivity and not do yoga and feel good and go into this other energy and almost didnt go like 4 times but i went and I'm so glad bc i made a friend i got to talk about carlo and released a lot of tears and tension then went to japantown and got a few things 1 DOLLAR NAIL POLISH AND A NEW LOOFA and walked around and listen to jerry vale and ate amazing food from beloved and realized I'm finally exploring sf like I've been wanting to then met up with kim at the center and it was SO GOOD i released even more its so nice to have a girlfriend like that like we talked about boys and our boundaries and it was sooooo great to have someone like that especially at the center i had nice early gray and was laying down resting on the pillows and listening and talking and i told her i started really paying attention to what things i put on my body and my hair and in my body like food and all natural things and its part of the reflection of what men i allow in my body like our root chakras are mixing like your energy is mixing with mine and how my body is temple and blah blah and that I'm just not a sexual person and its so funny bc she was like omg then what do you want out of guys HAHAHAH and i was like idk a nice cuddle sesh or make out sesh and she was like i cant do that i cant make out with someone it'll lead to sex and she wish she had my boundaries how she can just stop it and everything and i said wow people give me so much for having these boundaries like when i told elena about my crush with tavo she said just keep up your boundaries and i was like ya and i do have boundaries like I've said no to sex with stephen with silas and every guy honestly and just being here is such a great place to grow bc i can practice things to help shape who i am and ya she said its good to have those boundaries and stuff and she's 23 so I'm asvnaced in that!! I'm so glad i can do that for myself at such a young age because TO ME its such  big deal and i let it and accept it whereas before i just did it with two random dudes and did not like that and i realize I'm a sensitive person with that stuff like the minute i eat some junk like cooked cheese or greasy things i get addicted and want it all the time and i have eczema and my skin breaks out and i just have really sensitive skin and my hair is sensitive and so basically my biology is just so sensitive so like it would make sense I'm sensitive with sex like when i had sex with those two guys first of all i made sure it ended quick and i was just so not into them or the thing and i guess u can say it was bad sex but bc i was just not into it and afterwards and didnt feel right but anyways I'm glad i am moe in tune with myself especially so early in my life I'm only 19 and yesterday hassad said he sees me growing and flying so fast and have so much growth In the future cause he sees it now but anyways it was s nice to see and talk to kim i got to talk about things i dont really talk about and learn a lot about myself and then we were going somewhere with wolf but instead i wanted to hang at home before i went to work so i left early but it was so nice to be around kim and wolf and i saw baba and i ate and told him my crush on tarvo and read him my poem and he was smiling and laughing bc my poem was so nice and when kim read it she said she liked how it gave her an imagine of what i was doing and the setting at first then it went in my head and i like how she elaborated it and stuff and she gave it a lot of thought and detail and baba really enjoyed the fact i like tarvo and wants me to tell him and give him the poem but I'm like oh hell to tha no baby and he let me express and elaborate and it was so good and I LOVE BABA BABA IS MY BABA I LOVE BABA he's the best he changed my life and just all this shit and now I'm growing and he said its nice you are in tune with yourself even when you're attached to this other being and you can be expressive about it and enjoy the expression and art you get out of it ok i added that he didnt but he said something along those lines anyways i went to work and it was so nice and i love working with mithcel its laid back and we got cheese fries and had a lot of beloved food haha and gave a lot of people things and a special customer got so many free things and we became friends and it was a good night although i was so tired and joshua finally showed up and mitchell gives me this peer pressure challenge like i told him i didnt want cheese fries bc I'm trying not to eat dairy and i ate cheese fries anyways and he got a couple shots at the bar next door and kept smoking weed and asking multiple times if i wanna smoke or shot and its hard to say no bc i wanna be liked but i said no to drugs yay and i got to kiss joshs cheek yay fun times then sunday i slept in then made plans with kim to go to the beach but i wanted to see music at red poppy duru invited me to and do laundry and clean room but i walked out in just the right time and baba asked if i wanted to go to the beach with tarvo and elektra and ananda and i said hell ya bc i can get a ride to see kim now and we were gonna lax and drink wine and read and turns out we went to a beach like an hour away but it was still great at first my energy was low i was feeling shy around tarvo even tho he was acting like a fool and making me laugh and elektra too like everyone was just so playful and fun and so was i but my energy was low and then we went to the zen center and walked around and it is a beautiful zen retreat in the mountains and just a few minutes from the beach i wanna go one day and just admire the beauty of it then walk to the beach its just an open to the public place and path to the beach and the beach KICKED ASS i played soccer with Canada and elektra and it was SO FUCKING FUN we played catch andi i kept winning bc i know all the moves and i kicked so well i still got the soccer girl in me and I GOT IN THE WATER and it was cold but so cleansing and me and elektra were looking super hot in our SUPER HOT BODIES WITH OUUR SUPER HOT BATHING SUITS and we kick ass she got all the way in the water and tried getting me too but it was so great i was like a kid running away from the waves with ananda and a fun guy was playing guitar and played eagles and all the good stuff while i danced and ananda joined me and it was so nice and before that actually i had a good heart to heart conversation withelektra about men and she said basically to keep my boundaries and i asked her a few questions and she said that she takes note of when she's feeling empty after an experience with a guy or if she's trying too much and just absorbing his ego and stuff and it hurts but she doesn't continue with them and its a good note too bc with tarvo i feel like our conversations are brought up by me asking things about his life or things he knows just to hear him talk and he doesnt ask anything about my life and although our experience together is shared i just dont feel the interest from him and yesterday i was getting my shoes on the see bulcan and asked if he wanted to go and he said no he's done enough fun today and just got up and left but of course said sweet dreams you queen of everything haha syke but then i just stared at him walk away and thought oh do you not think our time is so precious and fragile together as i think of it as it and it aches me to see you go when our souls are longing to be hold by one and other but anyways i just dont feel the interest physically from him and every move i make in the beach i looked back to see if he was looking at me and that i look good. and i noticed I've been focusing on his existence rather than the ocean and thought, if only the ocean was as beautiful as you 

[poisonedpan]

Cocaine and Champagne - 02/2016 - Section 32

I’ve spent more time with Gabriel the past few weeks. I liked it when he was sitting at my house. I didn’t care if we were smoking, or drinking. Most of the time, it was just nice to have there. He kept me feel grounded. I felt like he was one of the best people to be around, because he inspired me. Gabriel was hard working. He wanted to work his ass off, because he wanted to do what he wants with life. I watched him do homework, write his papers and work full time as a manager, while balancing hanging out with friends. I didn’t think it was a crush that I was getting on Gabriel. There was just some natural chemistry that I was intrigued by. Gabriel was one of the funniest guys that’s ever walked into my life. There was this sense of light that appeared to run through my soul whenever I was around him.

Trevor didn’t help though. He was always talking about how I was going to get with his boss. It wasn’t my intention. I didn’t think I could date Gabriel. I wouldn’t mind it, but I knew that I would fuck our relationship up quite a lot by doing that. Gabriel was so far ahead of me in life, and I don’t think that he even knew that. I didn’t want to work, therefore I didn’t work. I didn’t need to work, because David supplies me with whatever I need. I wasn’t ready to have a boyfriend, to take someone that serious. I wanted to make out with random guys, allowing myself to distract myself from the void that’s been in my soul. I’ve felt empty for so long and moving to Fresno has started to fill the hole up. It’s started to give me life again. Gabriel and I wouldn’t work, because I’m still growing. I’m going to make way more mistakes than I’e made before, and ruining our friendship for a relationship doesn’t sound like a good idea. I needed someone like Gabriel in my life, and I wasn’t going to risk losing that.

David was becoming a little annoying. He wanted me to constantly cut class and go to the city. He wanted his master to be fucking his brains out, while he does whatever I say. I didn’t even enjoy having sex with him. He stopped being even a little attractive. He always said things that made me question his sanity. He made me question my sanity. David got me a little hooked back up on that crystal meth. I think part of it was the fact that I loved the way that it made me feel. On the other hand, I had to play the game. David wanted me to do it. He thought that it was hot as my lips left the glass pipe. He loved the way that it made me unable to cum unless we fuck for hours. Being fucked out of my mind from drugs also made this situation not as horrible.

"Can’t wait for you to come back,” he said to me, as he was dropping me off at the train station downtown. Inside I rolled my eyes, but on the outside I raised my eyebrow at him.

"When would you like that to be?” I said. I knew how to make my voice not so annoying when I was trying to be sexy.

He slipped me a couple hundred dollars and I was on my way back home. I was going to a party tonight for my friend Justine. It was at my friends house, and they were doing it for her birthday. It was a surprise.

I made plans with Trevor and Brittany (one of the girls that live in the house) to get some cocaine. Cocaine wasn’t shit to me. I thought it was pretty much snorting Adderall. Although, having money made my nose itch for some white powder. Before the party started, we hung out in Brittanys room. She cut up a few lines for us to do. I haven’t done cocaine with friends. I usually don’t do drugs with friends.

I was never a fan of buying drugs, so I usually just wait until I get them for free. Usually when I’m getting them for free, it’s because I’m doing something with people that I probably shouldn’t be. Not friends though.

The white powder went up my nose and I felt the ‘edge’ being knocked off. I liked to pretend that sometimes I did drugs for anxiety or other reasons like that. I hated to admit that I just really loved drugs. The way that they made me feel limitless. The way that they made me feel powerful. The way that they made me feel in general. I liked walking on the sky, then being grounded.

We did a couple more lines and then went downstairs. Cocaine wasn’t something that you felt that much. Unless you did a shit ton of it. It was more along the lines of energy, like shooting up an Addy. I watched everyone around me, getting ready for the party. Trevor was tying up all these balloons. I looked at Gabriel and Leila. I didn’t want them to know what I was doing, even though I was pretty sure that they did. They always called me crazy, but I never felt like they judged me because of that. I never felt like they were going to stop hanging out with me because of the way that I went through life. Maybe they saw more in me than I saw in myself.

Justine finally got here and we all screamed happy birthday for her. I saw the room around me just cheering. There was something about cocaine that made me feel light. It wasn’t just energy, but a warmth to me. Maybe that was my problem with drugs was that it made me feel more normal than I did when I was sober. Everyone ate cake, I snorted lines.

I let myself fall into the mindset that I was forever going to have Davids money. I didn’t really care about anything else at this point. School was something that I was in to kill time. I didn’t really know what I was going for. There was a part of me that wanted to do theatre, but there was a side of me that already felt like I was acting. I acted every single fucking day. I acted like I had a thing with David, that was normal and healthy. I acted like I wasn’t scared that any given moment David could flip my whole life upside down. I acted like I knew what I was doing.

I didn’t.

The next few days were spent just rolling through the motions. I went to class. I talked to this girl named Kylie from my biology class. She was 24, talking about how she just moved here from San Francisco too. Instead of her dabbling in meth, she dabbled in liquor and lots of it. I didn’t think alcoholism was actually a think for the longest time. I drank a lot. My parents drank a lot. My whole family drinks a lot. I didn’t think of us as alcoholics though. So, the question that pondered through my head was what makes you an alcoholic? Maybe it’s not the fact that you drink so much, but the fact that you need alcohol as a crutch to get through life.

I didn’t need it.

 I thought about that for the rest of the day, sitting through the rest of my classes hardly listening to anything the teacher said. I would catch random notes, and realize I should be paying attention but then stopped.

Where was this going to get me? I was going in debt to go to school for a career that wasn’t guaranteed after I got my degree. Especially with my major. Especially in this town. It all started to feel a little pointless to me.

#personal #poison #chance conley #booozeboy #journal #writer