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#him not wanting to kill doesn't need to be justified as him giving second chances or whatever

promptedwordsmith · 2 months

Note

I have a request my birthday is on March 3 so can you write something with the LDS boys?!?

Hi, thanks for the ask! I wasn't sure what you wanted me to write since I've already done a birthday post so I hope you don't mind what I chose instead! Happy birthday!!

(ps I also gave Caleb a shot as an extra treat I hope that's OK!)

LADS guys when you get injured

Rafayel:

Is furious but he’s not sure at who, you? The wanderer? Himself? He can’t believe it happened, it could have been so much worse, you could have died and what was he doing? Painting peacefully in his studio.

Is very clingy for the next few weeks, appearing at your door to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, and that’s after you had convinced him to not just sleep at your apartment.

When the doctor declares you fit to go back to work Rafayel refuses and makes you go for a second opinion, claiming the first is delusional, claiming you still had a slight limp and if you limped on the battlefield it could get you killed.

Claims he needs to nurse you back to health and he doesn’t tease you as much, he’s quite serious actually.

Tries to make you foods that are good for healing, three meals a day and thinks you don’t notice when he slips out to call the nutritionist he hired and collect the food from the chef.

Xavier:

Everything considered, he would give you the silent treatment while tenderly taking care of you, he’s supposed to be your partner at work and outside of work so why were you out there without him? If he had been there the wanderer wouldn’t have had even the slightest chance of hurting you like it did.

He’s constantly thinking about what could have happened and is more driven than ever to be there when you needed him.

When he did start talking to you again, he made sure to drill into your head how it made him feel for you to not even think of getting his help, that he understood you were strong and capable but that he was always available, he knows he could have made a difference and it’s never too safe to bring back up.

Makes sure you go to doctors’ appointments; he may not take proper care of himself, but everything be damned before he let you work yourself to death with this injury.

Tries to make you food but quickly learns if he wants you to be stationary and comfortable, he should not even approach the kitchen, opting to order the healthiest takeaways he can, sulking a bit you don’t trust him with the oven.

Zayne:

As your doctor he’s startled when you appear with a large injury, but he’s instantly more comfortable when he finds its mainly just superficial, doesn’t stop him from lecturing you about how you could let that happen.

Makes you go through every test he can justify you getting to check there’s no poison or corruption or anything that could risk your life in anyway and pays special attention to your heart.

He’s now more concerned for your safety, especially about if this is going to be more common and starts researching wanderers and whether they were getting stronger or smarter to cause this, start keeping up with any news on wanderer evolution.

Schedules a few more appointments for you than is really necessary but since its large he justifies it as a higher chance of infection because of its location, even though he’s busy he just extends his working hours to see you in a professional capacity or if he can’t do that because of working laws he’ll come see you as soon as his shifts are over to check on it.

When he’s sure you’re healed he reluctantly signs you fit for duty and gives you a stern lecture about avoiding those types of injuries in the future.

Caleb:

Doesn't hear about it for a while because he's occupied by his job, but the second he does he's desperately calling you and texting you, all while booking time off, a flight back and buying you get well soon gifts.

As soon as he's home, he's giving you a big hug asking how you are, what happened, "what does the other guy look like?" in a teasing tone.

Promises he's sticking around for at least a week, preferably until you're feeling better though, and makes you all your favourite food while he's there, insisting you stay at your grandma's while you recover so they can both dote on you.

Let's you talk his ear off, spends the whole time reminiscing with you and doing things you did together when you were younger, just being more careful with you of course.

When you eel better and before he leaves he makes you promise not to get hurt again any time soon, and makes sure you know he'll tease you like crazy if you do, ruffling your hair before he goes.

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dia-souls · 6 months

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DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Analyzes [ Vol. 6 Sakamaki Laito ]

Original title: いつものゲーム

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 6 Sakamaki Laito

Seiyuu: Hirakawa Daisuke

Analyze by: Admin Afra

Admin's note: Laito is the boy who, in my personal opinion, has endured the worst trauma among all his brothers, and the reason for his violent and deviant behavior now may be justified with the bitter memories of his past. But with Laito I can learn many lessons and I hope he will stick to these lessons. He should try to forget the relationship and bitterness of the past and believe in a brighter future. Maybe we can call him the poor broken man, but this man deserves a second chance and I'm sure he deserves Yui's pure love. What he could not receive from his mother.

Who are you, Laito? Are you sure that the only way to return to reality of yourself is to become carefree and not care about the things that really matter to you? Are you sure that this is the real you? Are you sure that your true self is not that kind and innocent child who forgot his entire childhood because of a tragic event and decided to create a new identity for himself. Your true self has been dead for years. Your true self died in your childhood.

This is the only answer I can give to Laito when he decides to kill Yui to end all his pain. But how did the story get here?

Playing hunter seems like a lot of fun for Laito, especially since Laito likes to see his prey try and his prey's stubbornness always amuses him.

This is why if a girl is submissive to Laito, Laito will never be attracted to that girl and finds her boring. In fact, it was Yui's special quality that made him the first person to see even a little bit of Laito's kind and pure love. Of course, this pure love of Laito can be interpreted in different ways, which has a different analysis of this CD.

As usual and like the previous CDs, Yui is suffering from a disease that weakened her heart. But Laito isn't like Reiji or Subaru, who notices Yui's poor health right away.

So when Yui can't continue the game the way Laito wants, Laito gets frustrated. In any case, Yui is someone who never gives up easily, and this is what made Laito attracted to Yui, that's why when he saw Yui not trying to escape from Laito in this game, at first he thought that Yui didn't take the game seriously.

In any case, when Laito wins, he also receives his prize. Even Yui's body shaking doesn't make Laito immediately notice her illness. Why? Because we are talking about Laito. A boy who can interpret the worst things in a way that is enjoyable for himself.

I personally believe that Laito is one of the smartest characters in this story. It's wrong to say that Laito doesn't notice Yui's bad situation. In fact, he noticed this the same day he was playing with Yui in the waterway, but the reason he doesn't pay attention to it is not because he didn't notice Yui's unusual illness.

He doesn't really want to pay attention to it. Laito considers himself a carefree and happy person and wants to maintain this fake persona that he has created for himself. Even thinking that Cordelia's return is painful for Laito, that's why he doesn't even want to think about it. And because he knows that perhaps Yui's illness is related to Cordelia, he tries to ignore it.

But Laito's behavior when he saw Yui using the medicine was really cruel. I mean Yui really needed that medicine. Come on, Laito, be at least kind enough to let her use that medicine to improve her health and restore her energy, but what you said to her was very cruel. Are you so selfish that you just don't want to suck the nasty blood soaked in medicine and ignore Yui's whole illness?

It's really funny that Laito says that if Cordelia is behind all of this, you should stop trying to fix things. It's really strange to hear this from a guy who loves tough girls, but I think it's a sign that Laito has been giving in to Cordelia for years. In fact, since he forgot his innocence and was infected by Cordelia.

Laito's character is very complex. The thoughts in his head are completely different from the sentences he utters in front of others. You can never judge him by his words because the thoughts in his head are completely different from the sentences he utters. Knowing Laito's thoughts on Yui, we can definitely tell that he is worried about Yui even if he pretends not to care.

It is not an exaggeration to say that Laito is afraid of Cordelia. Laito pointed out that if she was behind all this, he should surrender.

I don't know how to describe how Laito feels about Cordelia, but Cordelia definitely made Laito the person he is now. Because even Laito himself has forgotten his real identity and misinterpreted his feelings towards his mother. Laito never wanted to be infected. Maybe this is the reason why he doesn't like others to be pure and tries to pollute them. So easy that if I am not pure, others should not be pure either.

Does the fear of Cordelia's presence make Laito force Yui to stay at home and rest, or is it the fear of her becoming weaker? In my opinion, both. Laito keeps thinking about Yui's bad situation and we can't deny that he is worried about Yui, but he doesn't like to express this concern directly, so he uses Cordelia as an excuse. But even the presence of Cordelia scares Laito, so even this is not a lie.

The fact that Laito keeps thinking about Yui but tries to lie even to himself with different words shows that he is not being honest with himself. Or in other words, Laito is lost in this false identity he has created for himself and thinks that if he is really worried about the one he loves, he can no longer be his true self, while all these feelings are showing us the real Laito. Laito who tried to hide behind a false identity for years. This is something he himself admits.

(I shouldn't care about it. That's what someone like me should do.) Actually, the false persona that Laito uses to hide in this cruel world. This is Laito's way of defending himself against the oppression of the world. Hiding in a false identity that hurts everyone and cares for no one. Even if this Laito is not real.

Laito's excuses for forcing Yui to eat to regain her health are believable because that's what Laito always pretended to be. That he doesn't care about anything but his own pleasure.

I have a question here. Why was Laito angry at Yui's apology? I mean, Laito didn't show so much sensitivity about this before and didn't shout that you shouldn't apologize if you didn't do anything wrong. Because none of these events are your fault.

I interpret this way that Laito gets irritated by Yui's purity. Maybe this is the reason for Laito's compassion towards Yui. Laito has witnessed how much Yui has suffered and endured for having Cordelia's heart, and the fact that she apologizes even though she is a victim makes Laito angry because he knows that Yui does not deserve to be treated like this. And that she considers all the bad things to be her own fault.

Laito doesn't say it in words, but he wants Yui to care more about herself and know how valuable her existence is. Laito has been hurt by a cruel world before, just like Yui is now, but Laito hides in a new identity to save himself, something Yui can never do because Yui is a pure and simple girl. Yui's innocence makes Laito angry so much that he shouts, don't apologize. You are not the one who should apologize.

Laito's attempt to avoid Yui is futile. He thinks about Yui every moment and everywhere, and even he considers this incident as karma.

Laito shouts out loud why my heart hurts. It is not possible that I got Yui's disease. These feelings are heavy and painful. He doesn't want to accept it, but the reason is because of his love for Yui, and seeing her wither before his eyes hurts him more than anything.

Laito does not want to experience the pain again. That's why he shouts, I don't need these feelings. These feelings are not mine.

In fact, Laito has forgotten his true identity and thinks that these feelings have nothing to do with his new identity. But he never gets rid of them. Because Laito is still the same guy who stands behind a mask because he doesn't want to get hurt.

Laito does not want to accept these feelings lightly. Because he is Sakamaki Laito. Vampire who says lies and does not care about anyone. The mask with which Laito shows himself to the world. But behind this mask, the real Laito is hidden and does not want to come out. So he tries to get rid of these painful feelings in another way.

When Yui loses consciousness on a very dreamy date, Laito sees it as his best chance to end her pain right there. Of course, to end her pain? Or is this what he thinks?

"If we settle everything here, both your pain and mine will be relieved. You are tired of this pain. me too. So wouldn't it be great to get rid of it right here?"

Laito doesn't expect Yui to agree with him. That's why when Yui smiles at him, Laito shouts that he didn't smile. Cry and beg for life.

Again, it's Laito fighting his own emotions. Seeing Yui's innocent and pure face who accepts death and smiles at him in the last moments of her life torments him more. The thought of how Yui can be so pure even when she is contaminated by his hands. How can Yui look at him with love like this when she is going to be killed by his hands.

but no Laito's hands do not move. Because that's not what he wants. These feelings tormented him even more than Yui's pain. He wanted to end his own pain, so he decided to end his own life instead of Yui.

These feelings torment Laito more than anything to see the dearest person in his life die in front of his eyes, or even worse, decide to kill her with a false mask, with the lie that the pain of both of them will be relieved.

This is why Laito considers himself a loser. A loser who didn't even try to save his lover and selfishly decided to relieve his own pain. Not the pain of his lover.

It is hard for him to imagine a world without Yui. The pain is much more terrible than the pain Yui used to endure. Laito sees this world with pain and suffering. That's why he wanted to relieve his pain quickly, not to see Yui's withering and death. Maybe it's a strange way to express love. But Laito needed to lose his true identity once to understand what his true feelings are and how much Yui is dear to him. His loss behind a false mask led him to find Yui and Yui saved him from the false world that Laito made for himself and showed him that even in a cruel world there is light and hope.

Yui is dear to Laito. Dearer than anyone else. Yui made Laito rediscover his true self. And understand that there is nothing wrong with having feelings and hiding them is more painful than anything else.

Laito knows that he can't live without Yui and that was the feeling that bothered him, but hiding behind a false mask was never the way to ease Laito's pain.

It was hard for him to express his feelings because he was afraid of people and the cruel world, but now with Yui's help, he has learned to overcome this fear and come out from behind the false mask. This is the only thing that relieves his pain. Being by Yui's side and expressing his true feelings.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #yui komori #komori yui #yui x laito #laito x yui #laiyui #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd analyze #drama cd

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rosehipfield · 4 months

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I love that no character is one-dimensional:

Sara is not goody two shoes protagonist with unwavering hope (I like Makoto it's not his slander I really promise I love kind guys), she has the highest chance of winning. It can't happen to ultimate cinammon roll. The balance between her caring side that wants to protect everybody and using charisma to her advantage is so tricky and yet it works (though I am a bit baffled at how she changes without Joe in AI simulations).

Joe is not only cheery cheesy best friend that dies just so you can cry about it (even if it's true as well). Joe is distrustful, he is scared and he kind of wants to escape with sacrifice card knowing what it entails. So he came up with a plan where good people being majority would live, and if not he can feel less guilt. Amazing idea! And we all know how he returns in second chapter. A sing of ungrounded guilt that doesn't correspond to reality whatsoever but can't be combated with logic alone. In best case scenario it is defeated with reminder of how real Joe behaved, showing how faulty our perception can get from trauma.

Keiji is not just sexy detective that supports Sara, oh no. This guy gets close to our heroine on purpose and I dare say kind of uses her for own gain. Then, his trauma doesn't equal all of his character nor it magically justifies killing Megumi, it simply explains his current actions. And of course I really want to believe that he is not some creep flirting with people in most suspicious way. He just needs excuse for evading akward questions. This man, deprived of sleep because of his sins, is both cunning and kind, capable of cruelty and striving to be like his idol.

Kanna and Gin are not annoying children that constantly need saving or exist to evoke sympathy. In Kanna's case sympathy is natural, but it is not the only thing going for her. Kanna is about giving a chance, letting go regrets, making thought-out sacrifice and when it fails moving on to make sure it doesn't have to happen. She develops constantly, bringing ideas to the table and trying to get all group stay united. Kanna makes conscious choice to spend time with Shin to get information, so while she can be manipulated it's not always the case and she's not all naїveness. Her arc of overcoming trauma and insecurity may seem familiar to characters from other media, but it is unique and distinctive.

Gin is autism representation without making him vilain or weird. He has some pecularities, for example, wearing animal-like clothes and repeating animal sounds, and yet nobody bats an eye, so surely he's no outcast or useless (on the contrary, he is quite useful remembering names in the bar, using scent, helping morally etc). Gin's the least morally gray of the cast, but it doesn't mean he is cardboard nice support kid either: he has his dislikes or his own thoughts (he is quite distrustful toward Kanna because he's younger and doesn't use age as justification for her actions).

Reko seems simple enough, a hot-tempered rock star, emo/punk lady many would like to date. Strict to the strong, kind to the weak. She had a lot of changing in the past and it continues here, she is becoming softer. But it's not her only trait: she's a talented singer that was interested purely in music and it's perfection. She ignored to some degree her happiness, her band, her beloved brother for the sake of art. She wasn't indifferent, but appeared as such. And now, finally having a better understanding of what's important and bright future ahead she ends up in a death game with Alice. Their plotline is prominent in second chapter and is devastatingly tragic.

Alice looks like comic relief with his exaggerated reactions and bizzare choice of words (personally I love this type of speaking it's cool). But he is actually not only a scaredy cat: he is a person without a purpose. He searched for it in a path with sister, but no happiness came, only murder of Midori. Alice hides his soft side to not be hurt, he on purpose builds a wall and appears so arrogant because when he was openly kind the close ones were indifferent (not to mention prison, I admire how Alice kept his sanity at all).

Shin is a prime example of morally gray character done right (majority here are morally gray but with him being antagonist it's far more prominent). I have seen various post about fandom interpreting him either as "totally evil manipulator", "Kokichi/Nagito kinnie", "cinnamon roll he did nothing wrong" or "what a loser". But he's not just good or bad, him having antagonist status doesn't make him Ouma copycat or Komaeda's successor, and while I get him being a loser is funny it's not the only thing to define him (though it's more of a joke than serious interpretation). Shin is very insecure and distrustful guy who "sees shadows where there aren't any" (quoting Sara) due to 0% and wants to live, using all methods... until he gets attached. He plots mainly against people he considers his enemies (to tell the truth, with 0% anybody could be classified as enemy), and I think he wouldn't abandon those close to him like Kanna, perhaps partly due to guilt of using her. In general, his actions, while obviously not the best (and he knows it perfectly well), come from fear of death and paranoia rather than pure malice or craziness.

Nao may appear as mentally weak girl you constantly have to help and can't rely on. Yes, Nao has problems with dependance on other, but she has her own aces up her sleeves. She's creative, smart, open-minded. For me her advantage lies in unexpectedness: who knew she saw through AI's lies? For her own sake and for the group Nao is capable of difficult actions like puching fake Reko. This girl is about growing more responsible, learning to trust your own judgement (she has great intuition by the way) and becoming independent.

Kai is quite too unique for stereotypes in my mind, a mysterious but awfully suspicious man. He looks so feminine but don't let that deceive you: he's assasin. Assasin that doesn't kill. Kai is the person escaping from his bloodied, horrible, traumatic past into right, calm, tranquil future with only householding chores and not killing attempts to protect... wrong people (Sara is not bad person, but her father is likely to be tied to Asunaro). So poor househusband is leaping from one abusive enviroment into another, but now being genuinely loyal and unaware of all skeletons kept in closet.

Q-Taro is certainly not only kindhearted big muscular guy (that dies in certain chapter) or stupid. Yes, he looks like parody on American, yes, all his accents make his speech a bit silly and stereotypical. No, he's not dumb. In fact, many plot twists involve him in some way (especially the banquet). Also, he could sacrifice his life for somebody, but he is equally capable of doing the opposite. Q-Taro is quite honest but not above tricks to leave this place, he cares for th group (taking into accout his team-spirited profession) but prioritises himself until later; he knows how sinful people are including him and that allows him to forgive quickly.

Finally, Mishima dies so early you don't hope to see him after 1.1. But if you think he's the shock value first victim that dissapears after, you are not quite right. Mishima, being dead, yet has influence on story as well, either through mystery of his head or AI that appear three times (maybe something is really up with him). Not to mention Ytts where his character shines and not burns. Him being almost perfect doesn't ruin anything, it motivates to become better as well because he wasn't always like this. Plus, he's no ideal, Mishima understands how world works but is passionate to a fault, not to mention his suspicious behavior. He is example of a person that matured, overcame his main faults and inspires the same in others.

Of course, everyone can interpret these characters differently and it's great, those perseptions can be true all at once. They are so interesting and captivating thanks to many layers of depth where everybody can see something unique.

#your turn to die #sara chidouin #joe tazuna #keiji shinogi #kanna kizuchi #gin ibushi #reko yabusame #alice yabusame #shin tsukimi #nao egokoro #kai satou #q taro burgerberg #kazumi mishima #I need to complete my English assignment and I am writing this instead #I don't know if could add something about dummies for now but they are not flat characters either

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peaches2217 · 6 months

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if you're interested in talking more about it, I'd love to hear more headcannons/musings about mareach expecting/being parents!! everything you've posted has been extremely precious and adorable

I’m in the midst of formulating some second-time parent scenarios, so do look forward to that! But until I’m ready to bite the bullet, fight past my shame, and post those, have some more first-time parent floof: The Big Day edition~

✨ The closer and closer Peach gets to her due date, the less and less Mario sleeps, to the point where in the final week or two before their baby arrives he’s getting maybe thirty minutes to an hour of rest each night, and rarely all at once. Eventually Peach gives up on trying to talk him down herself and gets a bunch of their friends involved in an elaborate plot just so he can get some sleep (which I’ve discussed here 😌). The plot works, and he sleeps for like a solid twenty-six hours! And it ends up being very good timing, because she goes into labor the following day.

✨ Mario’s overseeing preparations for some upcoming festivity (Toads have at least one major holiday each month — party people, they are) when he catches sight of Toadette approaching him. And his stomach lurches into his throat before he can even see her face or she can even get close enough to say anything, because he knows. As her lady-in-waiting and one of her closest friends, Toadette hasn’t left Peach’s side in the past few weeks unless Mario’s been there, and why else would she do so now unless something major was happening? What ensues is exactly the sort of spectacle Toadette had been hoping to avoid: Mario barreling through the crowd, sending Toads flying like bowling pins, abandoning all decency and rationale in a bid to get to Peach as quickly as possible.

✨ As soon as he reaches her, he’s showering her in kisses and inquiring about her mental state and her pain levels and telling her that he loves her so much and he’s going to be right here with her no matter what. Considering she’s been in labor for an hour tops, Peach isn’t even too uncomfortable yet; honestly she’s a lot more collected than her husband at that moment. So she giggles and lets him get it out of his system because she’ll never turn down an opportunity to be lavished in love. Stars know she’ll need that support soon enough.

✨ “Your hero just about caused a national panic,” Toadette snarls twenty minutes later, returning to Peach’s room after joining forces with Toadsworth to calm the understandably alarmed crowds. Peach finds it significantly more amusing than she does.

✨ Daisy’s already there because she was part of Operation: Go the Fuck to Sleep, Mario (“We’re not calling it that,” Peach said. “I’m calling it that,” Daisy said back.), so she insists she may as well make herself useful — Peach could benefit from having a backup buddy in the room in the off-chance Mario completely flips out. And also she wants the bragging rights of being the first of this baby’s many aunts and uncles to meet them, because that’s something she can hold over everyone’s heads for like, ever.

✨ Little-known fact about Peach: she’s got a low pain threshold, and the longer it’s crossed, the more rapidly she loses any semblance of composure. She goes from chatting normally with everyone in the room to seeking out Mario's hand with every contraction to clinging to him like a koala and shaking and moaning in agony, all in the span of like thirty minutes. I can't over-emphasize how dramatic she gets. Which, yes, it's justified, because childbirth's near-universally considered the most painful mammalian experience, but dear God, it's almost comical how quickly she loses her cool.

✨ Mario, of course, doesn't find it comical in the slightest. Seeing her like this is heartbreaking and mentally exhausting. There's not really anything he can do to ease her suffering, and that kills him, but he can't let himself dwell on it because she needs him, and he's gotta be strong for her. So he holds her close and does his best to make her laugh or at least take her mind off of it.

✨ Once that stops working, he starts singing to her, quietly, stroking her hair and pressing little kisses to her cheeks. And that works wonders! Until he starts humming one song in particular. Peach recognizes it as a favorite of his; he sang it to her while she was curled up on the bathroom floor months ago, unknowingly suffering her first bout of morning sickness. It seems like so long ago, and they've come so far, and now here they are — the sentimentality paired with an intense contraction makes her burst into tears. Mario may as well have just been shot. Actually that would probably hurt less.

✨ Daisy tries getting him to take a break, maybe step outside and get some fresh air, because she's never seen him look so distressed and it's honestly starting to worry her. So she makes the suggestion, and she hasn’t seen him look so offended since she desecrated his mother’s sacred Pizza Margherita recipe with thick slices of pineapple. Being at Peach's side is about the only thing he can do for her right now. Leaving her, even for a fraction of a second, would be unforgivable. “Okay,” Daisy relents, “just keep torturing yourself, dude.” He's keeping Peach calm for now, but if that changes, she figures she can just drag him outside herself.

✨ Luckily it never comes to that. As Peach becomes less and less consolable, Mario gets more and more focused... to the point where he gets outright bossy for her sake. He pretty much takes over half of the nurses' jobs, ordering anyone and everyone to get her a glass of water, get him a cold rag so he can wipe away her sweat and cool her off, get her some more pillows so there's less pressure on her back and the base of her spine. Hey, makes their jobs easier.

✨ "You're a badass, Peach Pit!" Daisy says at one point very near the end of the ordeal. "She's right you know," Mario tells Peach. It gets a laugh out of her for the first time in several hours. They absolutely high-five in victory.

✨ Peach immediately goes from inconsolable to overjoyed once their baby's in her arms. "It's okay," she shushes, kissing her still-crying daughter's dark hair, "it's okay, mommy's here. I love you so much." In contrast, Mario completely freezes up. It still hasn't processed yet, the fact that this is their little girl, the same one he's talked and sang and read to for the past several months. In his mind, she's still just a faceless entity, an almost metaphorical representation of his and Peach's love and their hopes for the future, except she's real, and she's always been real, and now she's here, and — and that's a lot to process when you've had one solid night's sleep in the past month.

✨ It doesn't really sink in until a bit later, when Daisy's helping Peach shower and get into fresh clothes and Mario's holding the baby, all swaddled in blankets after passing her health check with flying colors. She looks a lot like him, from her dark hair to the shape of her jaw — she may as well be Mario with a smaller nose — but it's not until she blinks sleepily up at him that it finally hits him. Those are Peach's eyes looking back at him. "Oh," he says, calmly, and then he's crying so hard he can hardly breathe.

✨ That's how Peach finds him when Daisy helps her back into the room: kissing and snuggling their daughter with a big smile and fat tears rolling down his face, babbling "Ti voglio bene! Papà ti vuole tanto bene!" to her softly. She thought she already loved him as much as one person can love another, yet here she is, falling even harder.

✨ As soon as Peach is settled in bed, Daisy rushes to find all of their loved ones so she can gather them up and give them the big news: "I'm already her favorite aunt! So suck it!" (That is, in fact, how everyone finds out it's a girl.)

✨ Peach and Mario are given some privacy to bond with their baby girl and decide whether they want any visitors or whether it would be best to let Peach rest; she holds her new daughter close, and he in turn holds her, full of reverence and praises. Peach has never been so sore and exhausted, yet she's never felt so peaceful. Everything is perfect in her world.

✨ Well, almost everything. "I want to see Toadsworth," she requests, her voice so hoarse from all the bawling and screaming that even those few words make her throat burn. But Mario kisses her gently, lingering for a moment before calling a nurse over to pass on her request, and she relaxes further into his hold with a dreamy sigh. Her husband is with her, their daughter is asleep in her arms, and her father will be here any moment to meet his granddaughter. Now everything is perfect.

#today was difficult so this is even longer and more shameless than usual #y'all were warned #like… I might delete this later if I’m being honest 😅 even I should have to reign it in now and again #and until then…#tw pregnancy #mareach #mario x peach #peaches has opinions

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aboutnavi · 1 year

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I was brushing my teeth, reflecting about life, & my mind went back to AFTG and there is a scene on the first book that it has been stuck on my brain since I read the trilogy again this January and it's about Seth. Now, I know the fandom -in general- barely talk about Seth because Nora decided to kill him off for shock value and when people try to talk about him, it always comes back to 'he was a homophobic, disgusting piece of shit' which yes, valid but also, are we forgetting Aaron? The babyfication of Aaron in this fandom had everyone collectively forgetting he was exactly like Seth (even worse: towards his family!!!). Two wrongs doesn't make one right & I'm in no way justifying Seth's action but if we never talk about characters on AFTG just because they were problematic, we are not talking about any of them, ever (ok maybe some of them, but still).

My point is: the scene. Neil is confused as to why Seth hates Kevin -specifically him- so much, since Seth could get along with most people if he wanted and tried hard enough but he refused to give ground to Kevin & his answer is just so humanly heartbreaking it goes to my list of moments Nora did something right in AFTG. The scene goes like this:

Neil: Why do you hate him?

Seth: Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day. Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants. When he broke his hand, his fans cried for him. They flooded our locker room with letters and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't play anymore. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me when's the last time anyone cried over you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?

Neil, stupidly: So you're jealous.

Seth: His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.

Neil first instinct is to say jealousy because jealousy is something he understands (he felt jealous of Kevin for having a future, for being able to play, for the talent, for the life he never got to live when his mother ran away, etc.) but for me what Seth is trying to portrait is more like the painful awareness that you get when you realize you're also worthy of love and care. Seth is such an unexplored character who had so much potential if Nora hadn't killed him for the sake of showing how Riko could be/was dangerous (and she could have done that in so many different ways!!!) & you can see that on, for example, Nora's post about his life. Seth was always the no-priority person, the kid no one payed attention to, the boy that if killed, not even his mother would come for the funeral. He was every aspect a Fox and he spent his entire life being told he was no one and to be able to say his life is not more important than mine shows so much development; the chance he had put on himself for being open to love, to care, to second and third chances... it was all there. It breaks my heart that he never got the chance to become something. & I do not believe he was an inherently bad person? They are so young in AFTG, all of them. Maybe Seth wasn't bad; maybe he was just twenty-two, you know?

& on the extra content when they tell Allison he died and she goes 'He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us. I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live.' breaks my heart.

Because, ok, Seth dies. Let's pretend it was a good idea for him to die to set some sort of impact on the story for a second. Except his death goes without much fuss. The shock Nora wanted is felt for maybe three seconds, in one paragraph in the last page of TFC and then we barely talk about Seth on TRK and TKM. Neil can't even understand how impactful was Seth's death - he only cares about how it will affect the game & his guilt is more about how Allison would feel towards him then sadness over losing a teammate - and this insight we get from Allison is from the extra content and not everyone goes on to read those so if Nora wanted something out of his death - pity, shock, sadness, or whatever - she should have put this scene IN THE BOOKS.

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the-trans-anon · 2 months

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Insomanic Spider-Man and Revenge

Something that's really interesting to me is the theme of revenge in the insomanic games, so I wanted to go game-by-game and discuss how revenge is used. This post is gonna b long so putting a read more

Spider-Man (2018):

In the first game we have Martin Li and Doc Ock. Both completely destroy their lives in pursuit of revenge.

Martin Li goes against the values he formed FEAST with, completely betrays everyone who worked for him. He hates Norman Osborn because Norman killed his parent, but in his attempts at revenge Li does the exact same thing to not just Miles but SO many other familes. How many people do you think he killed in not just the bombing but also the many shootouts the Demons cause? In the Devils Breath plague? He wasn't the one who unleashed it in the end, but he still planned to.

Doc Ock falls down a very similar path. He takes a tool that was originally meant to help and heal, and uses it to hurt. In his desire to cause Norman's downfall, he not only brutally attacks and nearly kills one of his closest friends, but also kills SO many people with Devils Breath. And, completely unlike Li, he feels little to no remorse for it. Doc Ock feels like the people who died deserved it, because they put Norman in power.

In the DLC we also have Yuri, who turns against her friends and coworkers in her attempts to destroy Hammerhead, but Yuri is less about revenge destroying someone and more about a "the ends justify the means" mindset. While she does have a theme of revenge in her story, I feel like its less present in her actual character arc. She less destroys her life and more takes her life down a different path. She recognizes that the system can't give her what she views as justice and so decides to take it into her own hands.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales (2020):

Ok, Phin. We don't know a ton about Phin before she started working towards revenge, but from what's there: my interpretation is Phin ends up going against the values that her brother died for in her bid for revenge.

Phin's brother (his name escapes me) lived to help others, and the Second he realized his research was being used for not only capitalist greed but also harming people he wanted to put a stop to it. Phin, in attempting to finish what her brother started, completely loses sight of this original goal. She hurts people, a lot of people, including her closest friend, and almost basically sets off a bomb in Harlem.

Phin wasn't stupid, you can't convince me that some part of her didn't recognize the risks. She was so angry and so convinced that she was the right one that she ignored the harm she was doing until it was too late.

Spider-Man 2 (2023):

Peter's character arc in this game is a direct parallel of Doc Ock's arc in the first game. Thanks to the symbiote weaking Pete's self control, he wants revenge on Kraven and hurts the people around him in the process. He turns Harry's kindness against him, gives MJ the cold shoulder, and literally attacks Miles. He's angry and upset and he doesn't know how to handle it other than taking it all out on Kraven.

Similar to how the arms affected Doc Ock mentally, while the symbiote does affect Pete mentally the emotions and desires he feels are still very very real. In direct contrast to Doc Ock though, Pete is given a chance and he takes it.

Miles didn't save Peter, Peter saved himself. But if Miles hadn't been there and hadn't supported Peter, Peter never would've gotten rid of the symbiote. Miles said to Peter: "I know you're angry but you're hurting people who don't deserve this, you need to stop" and, unlike Doc Ock, Peter listened and took the steps necessary to bring himself away from that path.

Meanwhile, Miles ALSO has a big theme of stepping away from revenge. Miles' entire character arc in the second game is him looking at how others ruined their lives through a search for revenge, looking at his own desire for revenge, and saying "I'm good. I don't want to go down that path"

Miles comes close to killing Li at least twice. If he would've actually killed Li is debatable (I personally believe he wouldn't have), but there's two times where Miles has an opportunity to kill the person who put him and his family through so much suffering, and he considers it.

Miles wants Li to suffer, he wants Li to feel even a fraction of the pain Li made Miles feel, but by the end of the game Miles is able to recognize that that doesn't help him or him mom recover from what they went through, it just causes more pain. Miles decides that he doesn't want to hold onto that hate, that he wants to move on, and so he does. Which gives Miles one of the most emotionally mature character arcs in the entire series.

It looks like the theme of revenge is gonna continue into the third game, with Doc Ock wanting to make both Norman and Pete suffer, and Norman wanting to make the Spider-Men suffer. It's just really interesting how every game has dealt with this idea of the harm revenge can cause.

#insomniac spider man #spider man ps4 #miles morales ps5 #miles morales #peter parker #spider man ps5 #doctor octavius #phin mason #martin li #spiderman #spider man 2 ps5 #spider man 2 spoilers #yuri watanabe #insomniac spiderman

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lullabyes22-blog · 10 months

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So I'm *still* thinking about the most recent FnF chapter, specifically that line Silco gives Jinx about making a kill and doing it right - because it almost reads as...merciful? coming from him, in that moment? Or like a deeper glimpse into how violence plays a part in his own actions and identity, and the standards he weighs that violence against. Idk it just gave me lots of food for thought, and I'm curious how you see the relationship between his rage/violence and himself, and what all's feeding into the reaction that scene got out of him?

Heeee I'm so glad you liked that part, and that it gave food for thought. It's absolutely something I'll be exploring in future chapters, and throughout the fic<333

"It's a little crude, I'll admit - the base violence necessary for change."

I go back to this line whenever addressing Silco's relationship with violence in FnF. Fundamentally, I write his character as - at least on the surface - an ideologue wrapped in the ruthlessly pragmatic skin of a hatchet man.

He wasn't born the strongest, or fastest, or smartest. But he's lasted as long as he has because he does what needs to be done, no matter how high the moral cost or how messy the consequences.

That doesn't mean he revels in the violence itself. If anything, by describing it as 'base', he acknowledges that he's corrupting the purity of his vision. But as he also states, "Topside won't listen to anything else."

His ends (Zaun) justify his means (drugs, gang violence, manipulation, murder). And yet the irony is that in his struggle to achieve freedom for the Undercity, he proves Marx and Du Bois' theory of how man is the product of his social conditions, and therefore cannot be the maker of his own freedom, much less his own happiness.

Silco is an extremely intuitive and self-aware character. I have little doubt he's cognizant of his own hypocrisy - or the limitations of his gamble. But he forges ahead anyway, because he's utterly possessed by his ideals even as he is the very antithesis of the idealism itself.

The man truly is a walking paradox - on the one hand willing to minimize mess by staging a coup against Topside through scare tactics, but on the other hand ready to kill his rival's children just to make a point; to give his underlings second chances to prove themselves, but ready to kick a man to death just to regain control over himself; to let his chem-barons, like Renni, live despite them conspiring against him, but to make plain that he'd kept her son as a hostage in his factory just in case she overstepped.

In FnF, his ethos is repeatedly described as "Cost and reward." I wanted to focus on that facet because he's undergone extreme violence himself at other's hands (psychologically, emotionally, institutionally). Yet each setback, despite scarring him, has also pared down his softer sensibilities, and made him sharper, colder, crueler.

He's a survivor, who has clawed his way to power from nothing. But he also understands that power comes with a price, and that its processes must be respected. There are aspects of it he enjoys, but also aspects that he recognizes as possessing both gravity and consequence - and which must be treated accordingly.

In FnF, we see that in his approach with the chem-barons: they speak violence as a crass language, and make a show of the power they've attained, because it's a means in itself rather than a tool employed for a greater end. His riposte each time is to drag them down to earth, humble them, humiliate them.

In making a spectacle, he imparts the message, "You have no real power and disrespect the cost of achieving it. Therefore you don't deserve it."

I also have an upcoming flashback scene of Jinx's initiation into his gang - her first kill. She is thirteen, and Silco quite literally looks her in the eye and orders her to put a bullet in a traitor's skull.

Do it, Silco thought.

It was but one of the hundred steps to forging her into polished perfection. To peeling away the moony-eyed child to expose that tungsten chilliness that Silco knew was at her center. Power was a commodity in their world. By dint of its nature, supply was limited. All scarcity came with cost—be it a rival chem-boss painting a bullseye between your eyes, or an ally sticking a knife in your back, or an underling seeking to steal your throne from under your feet.

They all wanted to own what you possessed.

They all took without paying the price.

Silco had taught Jinx the language of knives. He'd showed her the intimacy of violence, not just as a display of force but a measure of skill. Now she needed to master the final lesson. Anyone in the Undercity could wield a weapon. Anything in the Undercity could become a weapon. But at its core, a weapon was neither a toy for showy enjoyment nor a tool for sanctified self-defense. It was the purest and most absolute means of death.

He wasn't making Jinx a killer. He was teaching her the cost of survival.

About its winners—and losers.

This is also why I write his network as vaguely militaristic in its jargon, hierarchy and general efficiency. The men and women serving his cause are professionals: they execute a strategy, minimize waste and don't cause more damage than is necessary. Combat isn't a game to them; it's all in a day's work because in the end, violence isn't a glorified game, or a gory hobby.

It's a tool like anything else.

It's also why Sevika and the crew dislike Jinx - because she isn't driven by cool competence but rather her own demons: showily blasting Enforcers just to get the Hex-gem, turning a drug shipping operation into a massacre because she has a flashback, going into meltdown mode if something overwhelms her etc...

She's a wildcard.

No hierarchy is tolerant of those.

It's also ironic, because Silco is himself a wildcard, and at his core powered by the same unhinged instinct and unresolved trauma as Jinx. It comes out in his thirst for retribution against Topside - a thirst that shapes much of FnF's plot - and also in his antagonism towards Vi, whom he refuses to leave alone (although to be fair, FnF Vi is as violent as him and as volatile as Jinx).

In the scene with the raven, seeing Jinx torturing the bird (except she wasn't really - she just ended up hurting it because she misjudged her own strength when she grabbed it) reminds him of the conflict for Zaun's independence, and how he devolved into pure feral survival instinct - as well as the toll it took on him, his child, his crew, his city.

"Quick and clean - if you make a kill, do it right."

And yet inwardly, he questions if he did anything right. His child is unstable, his city is gutted, his brother is dead, his comrades are gone, and now he must confront the cost each morning in the ugly light of day.

Nothing has been quick and clean.

Nothing turned out right.

And he must live on regardless.

.-.b

#asks #arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #arcane jinx #jinx #arcane vi #vi #forward (never forget)/xoxo #forward but never forget/xoxo #silco meta #arcane headcanon #arcane headcanons

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linguinibilly · 10 months

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quackity and charlie slimecicle also have such an interesting relationship on qsmp, it makes me feral

like before juanaflippa died the first time, they barely spoke, barely interacted really but after that? quackity was charlie's lawyer, he fought to bring his daughter back for him, to give her a second chance at life despite having no real need to (ik he wanted payment for it but still, there was no relationship there to make it an obligation) like after he found out about the 5 other lawyers, he could've just stopped trying and left or switched onto el mariana's side but he didn't.

and then, after flippa's back, charlie's supervising tilin, quackity's son, and he accidentally kills her. there is something tragic in the fact that the person you helped save their own daughter is the one that ends up taking your child from you, even as an accident. it's such an awful setting, such an awful scene of charlie feeling genuine remorse over tilin, clearly in denial over everything and so confused because 'why can't he revive her?' so much that he leaves his own daughter -- the one he fought hard to get back -- out of regret and guilt of killing tilin, his daughter's best friend and quackity's son.

then when quackity finds out about tilin and what charlie did, he can't even get revenge or any sort of peace or argument because charlie's in exile, has already given himself a punishment that quackity didn't get to have a say in or anything like that. he didn't get to witness the justice that charlie did, didn't get to have a court case justify his pain and the unfairness of tilin's death when he wasn't even there. instead, he has to live with the knowledge that the man he helped, killed his son -- someone charlie was only with because juanaflippa wanted to be so if he hadn't had helped get her back, would his son still be alive? -- and then left in his own exile so quackity can't even find solace in revenge or law or anything.

it's no wonder that at the funeral he wants to fight charlie in the graveyard, it's no wonder he's so fucking pissed and desperate at everything that he's willing to risk his life, his stay on the server to fight charlie because, after all, what does he have left to stick around for? his son is dead, tilin is dead, he doesn't have a partner like charlie, doesn't have anyone to turn to or find an equally gaping heart because he was a single dad, he was all tilin had as a parent and now he can't even be that so what can he be? what's worth staying for after he's got revenge?

then after the fight, after the funeral, after both grieving fathers got to say one last goodbye to the kids they weren't there for, they meet again. both have undergone their own coping strategies, moved onto their new path of life with resigned emotions. quackity says he's not upset at charlie anymore, not enough to fight him or want revenge anyway, and charlie isn't bargaining against gods and the server to get his daughter back. they're both there, in quackity's house, with fresh wounds and less children but now they have each other

it's something el mariana can't understand, something that sets him apart from quackity or charlie because el mariana feels a different kind of guilt, has a different emotion -- he was directly responsible for his daughter's death, was the one that directly killed her -- while quackity and charlie were both absent, both trusting their children onto other people to take care of for them and it cost them everything.

quackity may look into charlie's eyes and see his son's last moments but he will also see a grieving father in the same boat, with the same pain, and isn't that more than he's had so far?

charlie will look at quackity and see a man that he has hurt, that has helped him. he's caused the same pain onto quackity, a pain he doesn't forgive himself for, but the same one they both have.

it's why their relationship is so good, why it's so meaningful and impactful because they both understand each other. they both know how the other feels, what the other wants more than anything, and they both can sit there or stand there and understand.

their two grieving fathers with little else to their name, no children, no real committed partner, but at least now they have each other

#i'll admit i don't watch quackity's pov but i did watch charlie's vods and that gave a little insight into quackity's state of mind #the wedding also proved this so well #quackity was ready to blow it all up because he wanted one thing #and charlie understood that so he didn't say anything #like the solace and understanding they find in each other is... its something #this is so long i'm sorry but im also not #if you can't tell they make me insane #i have a lot of thoughts about them #qsmp #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp quackity #this is more of a rant than anything but i had to get the thoughts out before they consumed me

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highlifeboat · 5 months

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I need to ask you one important thing. Why does the Umbrella Cooporation (An organisation that sacrifized thousends of people for their stupid bioweapon projects without even a hint of remors) get forgiven at the end of Resident Evil 7, but Eveline (a mentally deranged child who just did what she was trained to do by the Umbrella Cooparation and doesn't even know what's going on) gets not only hated and rejected but mercylessly killed?!?!?!

They didn't give her a chance nor did they even try to reason with her despite the fact that she only wanted to be loved. And redeming her would not only solve the problem it would also potentialy give them the oportunity to actually save the people that are still trapped in the mold. So killing her was not only pointless and easily avoidable but outright cruel if consider that they could have potentialy saved her victims.

It is like forgiving a homocidle terrorist but killing his child that is just begging to be loved. That is truly messed up if you asked me.

It only justifies child murder and that is outright disgusting.

I see your point, but I do think it's worth noting why Ethan killed Eveline in the first place.

Because, to Ethan (and Zoe, and Mia), she isn't some sad little kid, she's a BioWeapon that put him through roughly 12 hours of torment and killed people. By the time Blue Umbrella comes around Evie is this giant mutant creature. Whether or not they knew she was technically a child is another story but still.

It's also worth noting Ethan only sees Eveline as either the old woman, or when she's in the attic at the end of the game right before her boss fight, where she's actively displaying power which would probably dehumanize her even more. Arguably, what Ethan does is justified.

Also, I don't think Umbrella is forgiven at all? Blue Umbrella is just a sub genre in the corporation to help deal with BioWeapons. Because when they became public knowledge suddenly Umbrella was like "Well shit now we HAVE to do something." (From what I understand anyway) There doesn't seem to be anything that implies they're forgiven, it's just people doing their jobs. (Also Eveline wasn't made by Umbrella, she was made by The Connections. But yes the same logic applies of "Does she really understand how bad what she's doing is")

I think the whole Eveline thing really is just a case of "Characters know she's a bioweapon so that's all they see her as". Because, realistically, within the context and especially from what Ethan is given, he wouldn't have even considered reasoning with her. Maybe if he had seen her as a child earlier on it might've made him second guess himself, but who knows.

I don't think I'd consider the game a justification of child murder, though. I love Evie and I'd love if she had a redemption arc but she's also not innocent and what Ethan does in-game is self defence. Otherwise what he does to the Bakers would also have to be considered murder.

#idk #idk if this makes any sense #asks #raven dog

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danwhobrowses · 8 months

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One Piece Chapter 1092 - Initial Thoughts

And another break ends at last

It's been a thriving time as a One Piece fan these last few weeks; Live Action's delivering, anime is serving, and we had that meaty cliffhanger with Luffy and Kizaru now to pick up on

Let's not wait any longer (also it's late and I gotta work tomorrow XD)

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release

A Jinbe cover this time, for a moment I got excited thinking it was a cover story to explain how he escaped Whole Cake

We instead pick up after Kuma, still running wild on Marejois

But Akainu is here now, though he is getting slandered by the Celestial Dragons, calling for Kuma's death and what they will do about the loss of food

STOP PUTTING HOLES IN PEOPLE WE LIKE AKAINU!!!!

Gave Kuma the Whitebeard face treatment

Kuma paws out of dodge, but not before getting his foot singed

Akainu does mull over telling Bonney that Kuma gave up his mind on his own volition, and wondering as much as we are what the end goal is for Kuma

Back on Egghead, the Mark 3s are sadly killing all the sea beasties, allowing the marines to get to the Fabriophase (ground floor of the island)

Luffy meanwhile is hitting Kizaru in Snakeman

Kizaru is at least giving his strength props, asking why he is defending Vegapunk, but Luffy hits back on the uno reverse: why does he wanna kill Vegapunk?

Kizaru dude he can't hear you from way over there

He says 'I don't want to kill him' but also 'don't get in my way', hmmm?

Speed is weight indeed, but Kizaru needed one hell of a run-up to hit Luffy

Vega Force 1 NOOOOOOOO! The impact sends Luffy flying, including through the giant bot and means of escape

Kizaru then starts being his usual self towards Bonney now, implying he knew her when she was younger and trying to appeal to her connection to Kuma to justify killing Vegapunk

Bonney tries to attack, but Kizaru dodges and kicks her into the barrier

Franky goes to attack but Kizaru's already left, so he quickly goes to contact Usopp

The three Punks have succeeded in breaking York's code, but their joy is cut short by Kizaru's appearance

And like he's right there, chilling between Punk and Usopp

Kizaru takes one last lament before going to complete his mission

But Giant Gear Fifth Luffy with the grab, complete with surrounding characters eyeball popping again

I guess Nami's still not used to Gear Fifth because this is the second time she's eye popped from seeing him, it's Usopp and the Punks' first time up close at least

Kizaru knows about Joy Boy? At least he knows rumors

Luffy looks beat up, but it seems to be because he crossed the barrier twice, maybe he went back for Bonney?

The Drums of Liberation emanating from Giant Luffy is enough to echo to even the hidden bot

AND IT'S AWAKE! IT'S ALIVE!!!

And for the first time in like a month, no break this week!

Well, when one door closes a window opens instead.

I think we all would've liked to see more of Luffy vs Kizaru, but perhaps Oda doesn't want to make the admirals look weakened. Still Kizaru held his own against Yonko-tier Luffy, granted it was only Gear Fourth but it still increases Admiral stocks.

The Kuma stuff is still interesting, and I still want that flashback, but we are all in the dark about his current agenda, it's just heartbreaking that his body is becoming even more damaged at this point, since we want there to be a chance to save him and for Bonney to get her father back.

Kizaru may be playing a bit of a con here, it might be the scanlations, but honestly if he wanted to kill Vegapunk I feel like Vegapunk would already be dead, no posturing or chatting, perhaps he was giving his opponents time to stop him? Who knows. I doubt he can stay in Luffy's grip forever, I mean Haki of course will keep him from slipping out but with Sanji grabbing Nami's bubble gun there will need to be a new means of containment right?

Speaking of, his absence possibly means he's fighting with Zoro? Jinbe, Chopper and Robin's absences remain noted too, what are they up to?

But with the Vega Force 1 destroyed, opportunity arises with the ancient robot. Giant Luffy's heartbeat activating it does lean into the 'Joy Boy was a giant' theory, but the fact that the drums activated it is interesting, is music its infinite power source? How capable is this ancient kingdom bot too compared to the Vega Force 1 in terms of the escape plan, I mean the Sunny isn't in position yet either, more questions to stack on, but another enticing chapter.

#one piece #one piece spoilers #op spoilers #egghead island arc #egghead island #straw hat pirates #monkey d luffy #nami one piece #franky one piece #jewelry bonney #bartholomew kuma #akainu #admiral akainu #akainu sakazuki #kizaru borsalino #admiral kizaru #borsalino #dr vegapunk

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liauditore · 8 months

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omg, you're so kind 🥺

so, firstly... i think it was your blog where i saw it... um... scott/skizz ship?

where did it come from? why? i need to know so much, they look so funny together and honestly i can see these two something like... flirting with each other???

i want to know everything (not forcing, tho)

- 🔥 yay, i'm fireing again, yay!!!

OMG OMG A CHANCE TO TALK ABT SCOTZMAN YES YES YES

ok so first off i very much do consider it a crackship first of all 😭😭 im one of those poor fools who started shipping smth As a Joke and then it grew legs and now i serve it coffee every morning.

i was surprised to find out that i wasn't the only scotzman shipper so im not sure about everyone else, but for me it was born from limlife when, after scott speedruns a boogey kill on him, skizz shows up in the coral isles to give scott his affirmation. and scott straight up Tears Up and it.. stirred feelings within me.

i actually wrote a whole mini-essay about it on my spam blog when it first happened and i tried to copy+paste it onto here but tumblr seems to hate it???? for some reason?? so i'll probs just work up the courage to post it if anyone asks about it.

but essentially scott's like. in my head he's this very manipulative figure who plays for the win. who's not afraid to use others for his own gain because he wants to survive. he's not evil by any means, just someone who shuts off his own emotions for the sake of making it out alive.

and then there's skizz who's just.. this golden retriever of a man who doesn't have a malicious bone in his body (ability to murder? yes. but no malice somehow) who just kind of Melts him with kindness. like, for a second, it seemed like scott's mask finally slipped and he let himself be hurt and scared and human and ouhkfhlkfhlk yknow? yknow.

scott can't process it cus in his world everyone is as cold and manipulating as he is, it's what he tells himself to justify what he does. but skizz is living proof that isn't true.

i don't even see it as.. particularly romantic tbh?? like yeah they're totally both non-PG enough to say questionable things to eachother but it's more about the pureness of proof that the world isn't cruel or cold or unforgiving, the world can be silly and dumb and fun too and it loves you no matter what.

also they're like. funny together. idk.

#asks #trafficshipping #scotzman #skizz just seems to melt him and iaaaaaaaaaaa #it took me like a million tries to post this im dying #🔥 anon

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electricprincess96 · 4 months

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why do you dislike astarian?

I'm sure if I answered truthfully I'd get mountains of lectures telling me why I'm wrong and awful for not liking the fandoms darling but heres my attempt to articulate my issues. This is in no particular order.

1. It actively makes no sense in character for any version of Tav to keep Ast*rion alive.

A good aligned Tav would likely attack him after he attacks them when they meet and if we assume we give him the old "OK we'll forgive you this time but don't do it again" once he tries to snack on us without consent while we sleep that reasonably should be his last straw.

An evil aligned Tav should have even less reasons to give him second chances cause killing should be nothing to them. And it isn't till later we really know how his worldview would align with an evil Tav

The only real reason to keep Ast*rion is if you are roleplaying a pushover OR you are being Meta because you the player find him attractive. Even Lae'Zel who starts the game really mean (somewhat justifably so since shes put in a cage and racially abused after being put through what her people claim is a fate worse than death), has a good reason to be kept around, she claims to have a cure for the parasite and will share it with the rest of you. Ast*rion offers nothing other than trying to stab you when you meet and then trying to drink your blood without consent while you sleep. Realistically his luck should have run out like if it was Wyll or Karlach or Lae'Zel in charge and you didn't control them he'd be dead. Probably even Shadowheart and Gale would as well.

2. By changing how DnD Vampire Spawns work they made his plot actively very confusing.

OK so Vampire Spawns are meant to not have any control over themselves, their master is meant to be able to control them. We briefly see this when one of the Spawns goes to disobey Caz*dor later. The issue with that is if Caz*dor can control them.... why does he need to punish them into submission? Ast*rion says he almost escaped once but why did Caz*dor ever give him enough freewill to even attempt that? Is Caz*dor just a sadist? If so they don't do a good enough job portraying that. They make the hunger and bloodlust that Spawns feel seem almost.... inconsequential for Ast*rion after that first feeding scene, they basically plays so fast and loose with the DnD Vampire lore but still used the lore to justify every bad thing Ast*rion did under Caz*dor so that he doesn't have to admit any fault like no don't bend the lore into a pretzel but then still use the lore for justifying and exonerate Ast*rion.

3. I don't get the impression he changed as much as people claim.

Like does he grow through his romance? Sure he starts to see Tav as more of a person and less of a tool. That's great. But Lae'Zel and Shadowheart both have fantastic development OUTSIDE of their relationship to Tav. The bar was set too high for you to hide his development behind a romance route I have no desire to do. I'll admit this is an issue Gale to a degree suffers from as well, less so that he doesn't change if you romance him but in his case more so his very examples of his growth are hidden in his romance scenes.

But with Ast*rion I did not think he really self reflected in the ways I would have liked. Even right before fighting Caz*dor he was still claiming he had no reason to feel guilty about what he did as a servant of Caz*dor, like yes the game wants me to believe you had no control, but someone with a conscience would still feel guilty about it. Also everyone else provided you've been pushing then towards good throughout the game will choose to make the right decision on their own accord when given the chance in game, every version of the Ascension scene I've seen requires a persuasion roll for Ast*rion, meaning he doesn't choose to not do the ritual himself he always needs to be persuaded not to whereas provided you've pushed Shadowheart towards good the whole game she will choose to save Dame Aylin on her own, Lae'Zel will choose to turn against Vlaakith on her own etc. The only way he doesn't need persuaded is if 1. He never learnt about the ritual from Raphael, thus he is only there to kill Caz*dor anyway or 2. You kill one of the Spawns in the battle thus the ritual can't be complete

4. He was favoured by the developers at the detriment of other characters.

It's insane that there's literally proof from some of the people who worked on this game that they favoured Ast*rion over other characters when it came to content. And some of his fans think this is somehow a good thing? When all this does is show the rest of the fans (who let's remember the most recent stats the majority of players are not Ast*rion Girlies, they are very loud within fandom but fandom is not everyone who bought and played this game) that we are not as valued by Larian and that's gonna breed resentment.

Wyll got absolutely shafted compared to other companions and everyone got shafted compared to Ast*rion. When the game had to cut out content for Wyll and Karlach but was able to add in like double the amount of romance scenes of Ast*rion when compared to the next companion with the most scenes then we need to start asking why this was allowed. We'd all rather have a complete story for everyone than an extra sex scene with Ast*rion that doesn't add anything to the plot.

5. His fans are obnoxious

Now.... I will be the first to admit all the fans of each of the characters are kinda obnoxious (except most Wyll fans, you guys are cool, I like you). I love Gale and even I know that his fans can be overly defensive at times (sometimes justifiably so, other times they just need to take a step back and realise not every joke at Gale's expense is hateful). BUT because Ast*rion fans are so prominent in fandom spaces you are more likely to run into obnoxious Ast*rion fans than the rest. Like if a post doesn't mention him, don't bring him up in the comments, if someone says "I'm role-playing a Lawful Good Paladin etc. I need a Rogue cause my character wouldn't bring Ast*rion along" don't spend the next hour of your life trying to twist yourself into a pretzel to justify why someone who is Lawful Good should be OK with having the man who disapproves of you helping slaves around. And stop throwing the "canon" word around. This is an issue I have with fandom in general nowadays but "canon" doesn't matter much. BG3 will NEVER canonise a love interest for Tav, they might never even canonise a class or race for Tav. So stol trying to argue that because Ast*rion x D*rge got so much extra content that it's canon to try and win some silly Internet war. All you're doing is annoying people.

What's kinda sad is... I found Ast*rion to be incredibly charming early on, not my type for romance but I enjoyed having him around for the snarky commentary. But whenever his plot came up I found myself rolling my eyes cause the rest of the game Ast*rion seems so self aware that he's kinda an asshole yet when his plot scenes happen he seems to lose that self awareness and it just soured the character for me. But hey, by most modern day gaming standards he's still basically Shakespearean in comparison so this will likely be the only post I make detailing my issues unless I'm asked something more indepth.

#princess answers asks #anon #bg3 blogging #vampire elf discourse

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twinhearted · 9 months

Text

"aziraphale wanting to reform heaven from the inside is out of character" is an odd take. he spends so much time in both seasons agonizing over incomprehensibly nuanced morality and ethics, always using his angelic duties as a reference point, that to me it feels obvious it's his primary intrapersonal conflict, and this is his way of trying to solve it.

i was not going to write an essay length analysis about this but turns out i did. forgive me if it sucks i'm barely conscious right now.

no, he says to crowley in the very first scene of the show, it would not be funny if giving away the flaming sword so adam and eve would have a chance at surviving to perpetuate humanity turned out to be against his orders, because even if it was the nice thing to do, it was not his right to do it, supposedly. he is reprimanded for this constantly, and even though it's a running gag, he is still depicted in-character as being unable to forgive himself over it.

the opening scene of the second season shows aziraphale reluctantly informing crowley that the earth will, in a celestially brief number of years, be destroyed. he sees how enthused this random guy is for cherub's first genesis and even helps him with it, but still tells him it's going out the window pretty soon anyway. as further events in the timeline occur we see that he does feel bad about the eventuality but waits millennia before he actually does anything about it, which brings us forward to the first season.

no, he repeats to crowley multiple times in go1, they cannot collaborate to prevent armageddon, because he is an angel and crowley is a demon and angels and demons are not supposed to even be seen with each other, even though they have mutual interest in stopping the antichrist because of humanity's sentimental value. he does it anyway and half regrets it, because being an angel is a critical foundation of his identity, and without it he doesn't know what he is.

the job bit. oh i really love this bit. aziraphale is very much committed to g-d's weird bullshit here, and very much opposed to it simultaneously. he's shocked and appalled by having to facilitate killing kids for what amounts to no reason, but he is an angel after all, so he feels like he has to just roll with it. if crowley didn't defy the orders it absolutely would've happened as was dictated.

i probably don't even need to talk about the complete and utter bafflement aziraphale feels upon encountering the moral and ethical conundrums presented to him in the gravedigger episode whose name escapes me right now. but i'm going to anyway. this guy is hell bent (heaven bent???) on conclusively and concisely arbitrating every action taken here as definitively good or definitively evil, no in-between. by flip-flopping back and forth he fails at this dramatically because he is so absolutist pilled.

and last but not least of the bullet points. he's a landlord. he makes exceptions for his tenants if they're having financial troubles because he believes it's right. but he's still a landlord, most notably one who has no real use for the rent money.

ok you're probably getting the picture now: despite having personal objections to pretty much every major action he's inclined to take by mandate of angelic profession or orders or whatever, aziraphale is still clinging to an idealistic view of heaven and his role therein. being an angel is so important to his self worth that he is willing to let slide or even facilitate the really fucking dumb bullshit that it entails, because angels are definitionally Good and he has to be Good by the books.

so given all this, why would he not jump at the opportunity to sculpt the guidelines and values of heaven to fit his own? why would he not take the chance to be able to justify being an angel against everything that he's done and felt about it? angels ought to be Good. so now he can make them Good.

except it doesn't work that way, obviously. heaven can't be in a position of divine power and judgment and all that without ostracizing (at best) everyone else. hence why the events i described in the bullet points happened. and i'm hoping we'll learn more about this in season 3 (if there is one). but for now we need to understand why the end of season 2 happened. it's because aziraphale is a flawed character and always has been.

#good omens #go #good omens spoilers #and tha'ts what makes him interesting to me #not just. him being crowley's ex husband #i did not proofread this so i doubt it makes sense but i hope at least one person can understand

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six-of-brides · 2 years

Text

Wretched and Divine: Days Are Numbered

Destroyer

My legs feel like they’re about ten seconds from giving out and my heart feels like it’s going to eject itself from my body. Despite this, I can’t stop moving.

"By my calculations, we're almost there." Prophet announces, sounding a little woozy from the sleeping chemicals still in his body.

We’re moving at the fastest and most diligent pace possible because we are dealing with an absolute nightmare, because Mystic is gone, we don't know if he's even alive, Mourner is unconsolable, no one knows if Mystic is even alive anymore.

"Mystic-Mystic could be DEAD right now!" Mourner's voice is barely audible

We’re on our way to the building where he’s being held right now. All of us look to Prophet for updates occasionally but we’re trying to get there quickly without the distraction of having to stop for updates on the situation.

"Soooo….where are we trying to go?" Savior asks.

"Where…where the solar device was."

""How the fuck do you know that? You're not even using your powers! We could be going to the wrong building! Oh, you just randomly have the route memorized, don't you?"

Mourner seems to realize exactly who he sounds like a second after he talks.

Prophet turns around, showing the map that he’s been using. "Considering that I’ve been consulting this map for the past hour, yes. Yes I have!”

Mystic is alive for now but could very well wind up dying if we don’t act fast enough.

“Oh, umm.. I’-”

“Don’t bother.” Prophet says.

They'll kill him in the most brutal way they can think of if he doesn't talk, and I…we are trying to get there before that happens.

Despite the fact that we have to get there quickly, that’s not…exactly happening. Everyone is scared, and that's slowing us down. Prophet doesn’t have full access to his ability to figure out everything going on because of his head injury. I’m trying to tend to him to make sure he’s okay. Meanwhile Savior is sticking with Mourner.

“Mourner, you have to keep going. Hang onto me, you have to keep walking if we want to have a shot at getting Mystic back alive.”

“He’s probably dead by now!”

Mourner, to put it gently, is taking this situation horrifically, and it's heartbreaking to watch.

"Mourner, FEAR is going to torture him as long as they can. They likely didn't kill him the second they captured him. There's a good chance that he's still alive."

He and Mystic have been in love for the longest time, and, despite Savior's reassurances, there’s a chance that he may never see him again.

"No. No, they've killed him, I'm sure of it. I just want to kill those bastards."

Their last interaction was the worst argument they ever had, and Mourner is regretting every mean thing he said.

He’s completely inconsolable. He’s threatening to kill whoever did this, and Savior has to keep him physically restrained so he doesn’t run off and start killing people. I want to tell him that we can get Mystic back alive and in one piece, but I can’t even bring myself to do that right because honestly I don’t know if that’s actually true.

"How long does it take to boil someone's skin off? Destroyer, do you know if there are spears in this building?"

"Dude, we saw them when we grabbed the solar machine, remember? You and Mystic-"

"I'm never seeing him again, aren't I?"

I’ve known Mourner for years and I’m terrified.

"How quiet can I be in the hallways. Their sight can't be that excellent, but what if-"

I’ve never seen him like this before and hope I never have to see him like this again.

"Mourner, this is honestly getting a little freaky."

Well, he did scream at Deviant. But this feels different.

"How hard do I need to push to stab someone's eye out."

While seeing him behave like this is mortifying, it’s completely justified. I actually do hope he does kill the bastards that took Mystic. That being said I also hope he holds it together long enough for him to do that. He’s barely keeping it together as is right now. I’m surprised he hasn’t collapsed.

For the duration of the time we’ve been moving towards our destination, he’s been carrying that letter that was left by Mystic’s captors. I walk towards him to try and take it before his hands explode.

"Mourner, can I please-"

"No. No you may not."

His hands are shaky and yet he’s still clutching that letter so hard that it’s starting to get wrinkled, reading it over and over again, glaring at anyone who even glances at him in a way that might suggest that they want him to put it down.

“I’ll kill them. I’ll kill every single one of them,” He mutters, gritting his teeth as he clenches the note in his fist. He once again continues to go into detail about how he’s going to torture them, making their deaths a hundred times worse than anything they do to Mystic.

"Mourner, I really don't want you harming yourself with revenge." Prophet says, still looking at the map."

"Like you've ever been in love!"

Everyone goes silent and stops moving. Mourner realizes what he said and looks absolutely mortified at himself.

"What did you say?"

"I-"

"You two, stop it." I say. "Mourner, we all get what's happening. But Prophet's right, you can't get yourself killed over this. Mystic-"

Suddenly, just as I thought would be bound to happen eventually, Mourner falls to his knees, screaming at the top of his lungs. Savior runs to his side, encouraging him to get up, telling him that we have to keep going in order to save Mystic.

“Don’t play with me like that. He’s gone. He’ll be dead in no time, he’s never coming back. He’s fucking gone. And…I loved him. So much." For a split second, my mind goes “at least he finally admits it”, but that’s a quick passing thing before I remember how serious this is.

"God, finally." Prophet mutters.

"Now's not the time." I say.

Savior is trying to console him again, but I know it’s no use. So, I gently move him aside and grab Mourner by the shoulders. “Pull yourself together!”

"Destroyer, I appreciate the effort, but that isn't going to work." Savior looks at Mourner.

"Dude, I understand what's going on in that head of yours. But we need to get Mystic. At the very least, just for the burial. And there’s a chance he’s still alive, but we need to hurry.”

“What-what if he’s not?” Mourner says, and it’s only then that I realize there are tears in his eyes.

“Then kill those bastards in his memory.”

As soon as he hears that, he gets up and keeps moving, this time a little faster than before. I feel horrific for both him and Mystic. God only knows what Mystic is going through right now.

I too am worried about Mystic right now. What’s worse is that I know how FEAR treats people. I watched as they got increasingly worse with the way they treated prisoners, and I don’t know how much worse it could be now. They could be destroying Mystic’s body and mind in a way that will render him unable to function if he ever manages to get out. Hell, part of my own trauma comes from just witnessing some of the things that were done to people by FEAR.

My ex dragged me everywhere with him because he wanted to limit my chances of escape as much as possible. The memories flood and cloud my mind as I start to relive one in particular…

You have to do something!

As I sit back and force myself to watch what is unfolding in front of me, I bite my tongue to prevent some form of protest against it. They’re torturing a captured rebel to get information out of them. They’ve been shocking, burning, suffocating, and even waterboarding this person in efforts to get out some form of information and yet they’ve heard nothing.

I know how wrong this is. This is one of the most fucked up things I’ve ever seen. And yet, I have to bite my tongue and sit still.

“Do you want me to put your head underwater again?”

If my boyfriend sees me trying to speak up for this person, he’ll kill me without hesitation. He is the only person I truly have any contact with, if he kills me, no one will ever look for me and my death will mean nothing.

“Get out of here, get out of here. You need to get out of this hellhole.”

The only thing that keeps me going is the idea in my head that I will escape someday. I’ll get out and be able to fight against everyone like him, who torments people without the slightest ounce of remorse or empathy. But for now, I’m trapped in this never-ending hell cycle, and it seems to just be worsening.

At the moment I’m terrified for the person they’re torturing. They’re going to electrocute them to death if they keep it up. They started small, like they always do. This person wouldn’t break, so they’re trying to shock them now. Each shock is more intense than the last, until they either get electrocuted or they talk.

“How much more voltage do we have?” One of them calls out.

“200 more! Let's use them all.”

Every part of my heart wants me to talk them out of shocking this person to death, but I know that will lead to me getting seriously hurt or worse. But I can’t just stand by and watch this happen.

“That will take forever to load!”

“Yes, but it’ll kill him if he doesn’t talk!”

“Alright then.” The man looks at his victim with a sinister grin.

Now that I’m out of there, I can stop this. I know exactly how to cut off power to this entire building when they’re doing this. I remember exactly where the switch is, I just need to not get caught.

I look around at everyone else watching this. Their eyes are completely focused on the person they’re torturing. If I want to run, the time is now. Without bothering to look again, I make a run for it. Not a single one notices me running out of the room.

As I run through the hallway to get it, my legs start feeling weak and heavy. But I don’t stop. I can save this person if I manage to get this done. Walking into the room where it’s located, I turn it on and try to figure out where I should point it so I don’t get shocked.

Then I hear voices from behind me. I recognize the voices, they’re two of my boyfriend’s closest coworkers. They’ll absolutely rat me out if they see me here, doing this. Well, I guess that means I have no other choice. After all, this shouldn’t kill them, right?

Hoping for the best, I jump to the side and crouch down behind a wall. I don’t think they would look back here, but I never truly know.

Aiming the device in their direction, it shocks the two of them right as they walk into the room. They get shocked enough for them to both be knocked unconscious. They won’t say anything, but the sound of them falling was loud. Within seconds, I hear footsteps running through the hallway, rapidly moving closer to me.

I’m fucked. I’m absolutely done for. He’s going to see what I did and he’s going to kill me, and I’ll never be able to get out of here.

“This was going to happen sooner or later, Samuel. You know that.”

A few of the officials outside in the hallway start yelling at each other, saying that their prisoner got away. That means I did it, I got them out of there. But will there be a cost to that? I know it isn’t safe for me to come out. That and the fact that if I don’t come up with an explanation as to why I was out, I’m going to be beaten to a bloody pulp tonight.

Before I can think of anything, I hear loud bangs. Gunshots. They’re shooting at each other. I quickly cover my ears and close my eyes. I just wish this would all end. I hope every single one of these motherfuckers dies a slow and painful death, and maybe they will with this gunfight out here.

Suddenly, the gunshots stop, and for another split second, I feel at peace. “Maybe my boyfriend got shot” I think to myself. But when I hear his voice, I realize it isn’t true. “Where is he?” He’s yelling, and I can tell he must be foaming at the mouth.

My heart starts going crazy again and I feel sick to my stomach, but I know that if there’s any time to come out, it’s now, because if he hunts me down and finds me hiding, he’ll be angrier. So, I walk out from behind the wall.

“Where were you?” He growls as he picks me by the shoulders. “I had to use the bathroom, I took cover when I heard the gunshots.” He still looks pissed but I think he believed me for once. He just drops me down and grabs me by the wrist, dragging me back to where this torture session was taking place.

I shudder as I see the bodies on the floor in the hallway, eventually closing my eyes because I can’t bear to see any more of this madness. We get back in the room and they continue yelling at each other, each one asking the other how they could have let them get away. I have to cover my ears again, but it’s worth it knowing that they got free.

“Destroyer! Destroyer!” I snap back to reality to find myself on the ground. Prophet is yelling my name, I can tell he’s been trying to get my attention for a while. I sit up, and he asks me what happened. “I couldn't keep memories from resurfacing. This all reminds me so much of my ex.” Prophet helps me up, and I start trying to fix my breathing as we continue moving.

“I did it. I actually did it.” I whisper to myself. Maybe I’ll do the same one day…

I don’t know if I would be able to live with myself knowing that Mystic went through the same things that happened to people there and died of it. As is, I can't bring myself to think about what he could be going through at this exact moment without reliving every hellish moment stuck next to him.

Prophet has his arm around me, pushing me to keep going.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Prophet asks. He knows how this is for me, he’s walked me through flashbacks countless times. But this is a different situation for all of us. It’s difficult to convince anyone that we’ll be fine when nothing is certain.

“Just-oh god, it’s not going to be pretty when we get to Mystic. If there are burn or shock marks on him, I won’t be surprised.”

With what just happened, I can’t help but feel ashamed for wasting time. I have no clue how much time we have left before Mystic winds up dead. A week? A few days? Hours? Minutes even? Is he dying right now? I have no way of knowing, and Prophet isn’t in the proper state to conjure that information.

“I can try to get more information, but..I don’t know, I’m really tired right now. Still.”

While we’re getting closer to our destination now, I have no clue how long it will be until we get there, nor do I have any idea as to even if we have that much time left. What I do know if that sometimes it took them weeks to torture prisoners.

“So..we might actually have some time.” I try to reassure myself.

Other times they decided it wasn’t worth it and would just execute them after a few hours.

For all I know, they could have learned a faster way to do these things. By the end of my time there, they were already doing that. So by my calculations, we only have a few days at most, and it's definitely going to take more than one day to get there. But this is something we absolutely need to do, and we need to do it fast, because our days are numbered…

Prophet

We’re almost there, no more than a mile left until we get where we’re going, but I don’t know how much longer I can last. I’m dizzy and my feet are killing me. I know I’m weaker than usual because of my injury, and it’s stressing me out more than I ever could have imagined.

I’m starting to get my clarity back, and from what I can make out in my mind, we only have hours left to save him. How many hours we have left…I don’t know. We need to hurry.

“Can you see anything now?” Destroyer asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Any visions? Are we going in the right place? Are there officials waiting for us at the gate? Are we going to make it in time?”

“We’re going in the right place, at least I know that for certain now. As for the others-”

“Oh, he’s dead now, I can just feel it.” Mourner says.

“Mourner, we don’t know that. And if you can, please try to imagine that Mystic is still alive."

Even with the urgency, it feels like we can’t be urgent about this. Mourner finally admitted that he’s in love with Mystic and is grieving him already. We had to stop and calm him down. He’s going to wind up killing someone, I already know that much. Maybe multiple people. And while I hope he does, he needs to control himself for the time being so we can actually get to a spot where we can find Mystic and get him out.

"I'll try. But if we find him dead, don't say I didn't warn you."

"We won't." Savior gently responds.

Destroyer and I have been walking together while Savior is practically restraining Mourner at this point so he doesn’t run off and kill the first person he finds. I can see it in his eyes, he’s out for blood and is going to unleash that bloodlust on the first person he sees who isn’t one of us.

As I look out into the distance, I can now see the building where Mystic is on the horizon. When I see it, I point it out.

“We’re almost there.”

“Great. When we get there, can I unleash Mourner?”

Savior grunts, still struggling to hold Mourner, who is definitely looking to kill at this point. Murder seems to be the only thing on his mind.

When we’re finally close enough to be under the building’s shadow, Savior lets Mourner go. Mourner then runs off to go under the building. We’re going exactly the way we did when we were getting their solar device, so he knows where to go, but the problem is that he��s going to try and kill those officials…himself.

We follow him, and I start looking for the route we took last time. I know Mystics being held somewhere different, it’s the same building and it can’t be too far off. What I’m more concerned about than finding the room itself is making sure we contain Mourner while we look for it. If he strays too far, he’ll get us caught, and if he gets captured trying to kill someone in FEAR, we’re all screwed.

Destroyer runs after Mourner, taking him by the wrist and bringing him back to us.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“Do you want to be caught by the officials? We need all hands on deck if we have any hope of finding Mystic, dead or alive! You think that FEAR officials won’t burn Mystic if they know we’re in the building?”

That calms him down in an instant. I guess the best thing to do in this scenario is to remind him why he’s so angry in the first place. He’s losing control of himself. And that will put Mystic in even more danger.

When Mourner is once again under control, we start moving out of the tunnel underneath the building and start getting into the hallways. They’re pretty dark right now, this part of the building must be vacant. The FEAR officials are probably all busy in one spot.

“I’m going to kill all of them,” Mourner whispers to himself, still having to be restrained, now by both Savior and Destroyer. I’m starting to worry that they both won’t be able to hold him once we either find Mystic or see anyone related to FEAR. Either way, I know he’s not walking out of here without being covered head to toe in someone else’s blood, and it’s just a matter of time until he snaps and runs off.

While I do know the structure of this building to some degree, I don’t know which rooms could be torture chambers. They’re definitely going to want something out of him, no doubt about that. He’s one of the highest ranked members of the Wild Ones, of course they’re going to look for all the information they can get.

“Prophet, the torture chambers are on the far edge of the hall and to the left.” Destroyer says, immediately regretting that decision because then Mourner becomes even harder to contain.

At this point I’m worried about the state we might find him in. Even if he is alive, this could be destroying him, both physically and mentally. The torture FEAR puts their prisoners through is notoriously so agonizing that many don’t survive, and the ones who do remain scarred and traumatized for the remainder of their lives. I can hope that doesn’t happen to Mystic, but if we’re being completely honest, he could very well be in that exact state and we need to be prepared for that.

“Do you think he’ll be brainwashed?” Savior asks.

“No.” We all reply in unison

“He’d kill himself before they’d do that.” Mourner says.

The more we move, the more my heart starts to pound. I have no idea what’s going on in the rooms behind these doors at this point, and I can only try to make assumptions, but it could be worse than I think. I know they come up with new ways to get people to talk every day, and they want Mystic to talk as much as possible, so they’ll do whatever it takes.

Up to this point, the hallways have been completely silent, but that changes when a pained, ear-piercing scream echoes through the hallway. As soon as we hear it, Mourner takes off running.

"Oh my god, If I find Mystic dead…"

Destroyer tries to go after him, but by the time Destroyer can even reach the speed Mourner took off at, Mourner is long gone. Great. Now Mourner is gone and I have no clue where he’s going.

"That ..that did sound unnervingly like Mystic." Destroyer says after a while.

"Should we just follow the screams?" Savior asks.

But what I do know is that the three of us still here have to keep going, or else Mystic is dead.

"I…I don't know."

But at this moment, that seems to be a logical option.

"You know what, one of us probably should follow them."

"I'll do it." Destroyer says. I reach into my bag and grab a dagger.

"You'll need this."

"Thank you." He says as he rushes off.

While Mourner running off definitely wasn’t what we needed right now, my instincts are telling me that he will be fine and that we don’t have to go after him. He can do whatever he’s doing right now, but we have to get Mystic. He could be anywhere, so finding him could take a while.

We can’t waste a single second.

“How many people do you think he’ll kill?” savior asks, sounding a little frightened.

“Everyone he can get his hands on. He’s going to have a lot of blood on him.”

“And you aren't going to go after him?"

"My gut is telling me he'll be fine. Savior, check the weapons rooms. Mystic's likely not in there, but some officials will probably be in there at some point. Follow them as closely as you can, don't get caught."

As we search the rooms throughout the hallways, the screams continue and make me feel sick to my stomach. I can only hope that it isn't Mystic. The idea that he’s being tortured right now makes me feel physically ill, but at least it would mean he’s still alive. But I have to ignore that to focus on the matter at hand. If we don’t find Mystic within the next few hours, we’re all fucked…

Mystic

My vision is blurry as I open my eyes. The room feels like it’s spinning. The taste of metal is strong in my mouth. I have no idea where I am, but I know my surroundings are grey, almost stone looking. I don’t remember what happened or why I’m here, but I know wherever I am, I shouldn’t be.

Suddenly, everything hits me at once. The memories start to flood back as I remember my fight with Mourner, going back to my tent in tears, wanting to see Mourner again, the storm blowing everything away, and then getting grabbed and knocked out. That’s when I realize the metallic taste is blood. Looking at my clothes confirms that realization, some of the blood dripped onto me.

As I try to wipe the blood off with my arm, I hear footsteps approaching me. Immediately, I start to panic.

"No no no. If there's something up there, please save me! Mourner, I know you can't hear this, but please save me from this hell!"

My chest is tightening, my throat is closing, I feel like I’m choking on the air. I’m done for. I’m never making it out of here. I guess I can kiss my chance to apologize to Mourner goodbye.

Looking up at my captors, I see that their faces are bearing sinister smiles. Seeing their faces sends chills down my spine.

"Decided not to wear your masks, I see. Somehow you look even more like the devil without them on."

"Shut. Up."

I have no clue what they plan on doing to me, but I know that I have to be strong. Whatever they ask of me, whatever they tell me to do, I will refuse. They are getting nothing from me. I will not betray my people, even if it kills me.

Two of them pick me up and take me out of the room I’m in.

"Let go of me!" I struggle against the chains, but it doesn't work.

"You think we're gonna obey your weeping? God, you're pathetic."

They then take me across the hallway, into a room that absolutely reeks of blood and something burning. At this point, my heart is pounding directly in my ears, my legs are shaking so badly that if I wasn’t being carried I would have fallen, and I’m starting to hyperventilate.

"Look at this weakling. How did you survive out in the desert, with this fragile disposition."

Despite this, one thought and one thought only is going through my mind: Tell them nothing. Tell them nothing, even if it kills you. It is better to be a dead man than to be a traitor to the only people who have ever cared for you.

They force me into a kneeling position in front of them. Then one of them cuts my clothes right off of me until my back is exposed. Another one grabs my hair and forces me to look at him. Then he starts to question me. “Do you know why you’re here?” I keep my mouth shut. I don’t even look him in the eyes.

Suddenly I feel a terrible stinging pain on my back as the sound of a whip cracking my back assaults my ears. The pain is unbearable, but I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. I refuse to give these sick bastards the pleasure of hearing a sound from me.

"Maybe he's stronger than you thought." One of them says. I’m not going to say anything, just as I said. I would rather die than give them the answers they’re looking for.

"Just you wait. He'll crack. They always do."

Part of me wants to look down just so I can piss them off more, but I know that I’m not going to benefit from looking down, it’s only going to get me more unnecessary pain. So, I look the one in front of me directly in the eyes, giving him the nastiest glare I can form. He then asks the same question again.

"I bet you know why you're here. So tell me why."

I just shake my head.

The whip hits my back again, and the man in front of me says that he wants me to answer in words before he asks the same question again.

"No. Absolutely not. You know the answer as well as I, you don't need to hear me say it."

Then he leans down to my level, getting so close to me that I can feel him breathing on me. “You’re here because you’re a traitor.” He then proceeds to talk about how I’ve been fighting for the rebels, and that I have knowledge that they need.

I guess if they want to hear me speak so badly, then now will be a good time. “You’re not getting anything out of me.” They seem shocked at that. I can tell they’re probably used to begging for mercy. I don’t care how much pain they put me through, they won’t have me begging like that. I’ve gone through torture before, this can’t be much different from what I went through at the asylum.

“What was that?”

“I’m not telling you anything. Fuck you. Fuck all of you.”

"You want to talk to me like that?"

I brace myself, expecting to be whipped again, but instead, I’m met with a searing burn, right below my neck. Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t cry out or scream, I can’t stop myself this time. They seem satisfied to hear me screaming, which tells me not to do it again.

"I knew this would happen. It just took the right method."

I don’t care if I have to bite straight through my tongue, giving them the satisfaction of hearing my voice is compliance.

Looking the man in front of me in the eyes again, I tell myself to be strong as I blink back tears. If he sees me cry, he gets the satisfaction of starting to break me. So, I smile at him, reiterating my point. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

He glares at me. “And why would that be? Do you think you’re getting rescued?” I don’t say anything. I pretend I didn’t even hear him. He laughs at me before grabbing my chin and forcing me to look directly into his eyes, his face barely inches from mine. “They’re not coming for you. They don’t need you. But we do.”

"Torture me, go ahead. Kill me, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to give up anything."

I try to brush his words off. They do need me. And they will come for me, right? They wouldn’t leave me here, right? I mean at the very least they must have realized I’ve been gone by now. I don’t know how long it’s been, but they have to know by now, right? I mean it must have been at least a few hours. They know, and they’re going to be here soon.

But then remembering my fight with Mourner again. Mourner probably never wants to see my face again, the fact that I’m gone might not faze him in the least, dare I say he could actually be happier with me gone. He saw me as a friend, nothing more. Now he probably sees me as nothing. And after that fight, everyone must be against me now.

I’m genuinely on my own now. My biggest fear has come true. They’re not coming back for me. They’re going to move on without me.

"Even if they leave me here, I'm not going to betray them. All this is nothing I haven't experienced."

Just like my parents did all those years again. This is my childhood all over again, only this time, my death is inevitable. This is the end. The worst part is that I’ll never get to talk to Mourner again. I’ll never get to tell him how sorry I am for every stupid word I said back there, I’ll never get to tell him how much I love him. And he won’t care.

"Not like he should care anymore."

The man in front of me continues to talk, and I can’t even understand it. The words he said before, the fact that they’re not coming for me, is ringing in my ears. Everything I’ve feared for years now, everything I’ve tried to convince myself would never happen, is finally happening, and there’s nothing I can do to get myself out. Fuck staying strong. I can’t do this.

As I start to sob, the whip hits my back two more times. At this point, I can feel blood running down my back from the whipping.

"What a little sissy. Is everyone as weak as you?"

And I can’t bring myself to worry about that. All I can worry about is what everyone is thinking back at our camp. I know I fucked up bad, but they couldn’t have forgotten about me that quickly, right? Someone has to be concerned about me, right?

"The others have made mistakes, and we've still tried to rescue them."

"Yeah, but you killed your leader. No they won't come for you."

Did I really fuck up so badly that they’re just going to let me disappear?

"So maybe you should talk."

"You'll just kill me anyways. Might as well make my death worth something."

Do they even know that I was taken? They might think that I ran away because of the fight. But Prophet has to know something, right? But then that brings me back to what happened to cause the fight in the first place. Even if he woke up, his ability to find out where I could be would probably not be what it usually is. They probably know nothing. Even if they do care, which they probably don’t, they’re not going to find out anything. So, this is the end for me.

Both men who brought me here have been talking to me, and I’m not listening to either of them. All I’m doing is trying to come to terms with the fact that no one is coming for me.

"Your little sissy friends-"

"I have been made aware that they aren't coming back. And you really need to come up with new insults."

This is just one big repeat of what happened to me as a child. Maybe this was my fate all along. Maybe I was meant to be abandoned. I should have just listened to Mourner, but I didn’t. This is what I deserve for letting Prophet get hurt and then arguing with Mourner. If I die, it’s deserved. Whatever comes to me now is completely my fault. Whatever happens, I deserve it. I’m gravely ashamed of myself for acting that way, and now I am going to suffer the consequences.

I’m snapped out of my spiraling thoughts by the whip hitting my back four…maybe five times? I can’t keep count anymore. I’m starting to lose my mind. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought. Maybe they will break me. But I can’t stoop to the level of telling them any secrets. Even if no one is coming for me, I’m not going to betray them. They deserve better than that, and me being relieved from torture is not worth risking their lives. I would sooner die the worst death that FEAR has to offer than give up our secrets to them.

Now that I can finally understand what is being said to me, I can hear that they’re talking about the solar device we just stole. I can't help it. I start laughing, and I can't stop.

They don't know we destroyed it.

"What's so funny?" They want it back, and they’re looking for me to tell them where they are so they can find it.

We studied their technology, and we knew that if we brought it back while it was still functional, it would track where we were. We tried to prevent this from happening. But if I tell them that, they’re going to know something about us, and I promised not to let that happen. Whether or not they’d be able to use that information, I’m not going to give them anything. I told them I wouldn’t say anything, and if suddenly I did, they would think I was softening.

“Now, tell us what you did with it.”

“No.” The man in front of me steps away for a second after I refuse to tell him anything. I’m scared for what’s going to happen now, but I can’t show a single sign of fear. That’s going to screw me over even more. They’re going to try to get whatever they can out of me, and I can’t give them any of it. If I have to go silent again, then so be it.

When he reappears, he holds a bottle of lemon juice up before handing it to the man behind me. Seeing it terrifies me, because I remember exactly what used to happen at the asylum. They’re going to pour it into my wounds if I don’t say something. I’m terrified, but I can’t talk. I’m no traitor.

Standing in front of me once more, the man says that he will give me one more chance to tell the truth. He wants to know exactly where we located the device. He also is promising to make this “less painful” if I give him the weaknesses of each of the other leaders of the Wild Ones. Meaning they want to know how to destroy each of us. That is the absolute last thing they would get out of me. I will die before I give them that confession. They’re still getting nothing out of me. Nothing whatsoever.

"Go ahead. Pour the lemon juice into my wounds. It's not like I haven't experienced that. But Im. Not. Going to give you the information you want."

Once I do this, I try to brace myself for pain, but no amount of preparation could prepare me for the pain of the lemon juice being poured directly onto my wounds. I haven’t screamed like this in years.

Hearing my own screams is bringing me right back to all of those lonely nights in the asylum. Every single time they tortured me without reason, every time they laughed at me, humiliated me, reminded me that I was nothing more than an abomination. As the flashbacks start to hit, my screams get louder. I can no longer tell what is real. All I know is pain.

This continues on, with them asking me questions that would absolutely destroy us if the answers got out. Who our second in command is, who our healer is, who our most powerful member is. I choke back sobs as I continue to show as much defiance as I can muster. I make the same point again, that they won’t get anything out of me, and it just leads to more pain.

Eventually they run out of lemon juice, and for a split second, I laugh to myself. But then I see them bringing out the salt. That was always the worst when I was younger. It hurt for so much longer, I’d be sobbing on the ground for hours after they would salt my wounds. I wish I could make them stop, but the only way to stop them would be to give them answers.

As the one behind me starts to salt my wounds, I grit my teeth to prevent more screaming. The pain is unbearable at this point, and I would rather die than continue to endure this. And quite frankly, I hope they kill me rather than continue to torment me. They’re not going to get what they want from me, and the moment they realize that is the moment I will finally know peace.

They continue to ask the same questions, and each time, I meet them with the same defiance. I will not be giving them the answers they want, I’m just waiting for them to realize that. I’ll accept my death before I accept my defeat. If they kill me, it means that I won at the end of the day. If I gave them answers, what would they do? Let me go? I would be alone and I would be a traitor. It would be no use.

My back starts to go numb from all the burning and whipping. Now that the pain has started to subside, I can focus on the fact that the people I loved and cared about for so long are leaving me to die in this place. I don’t even blame them. And I think they will be happier with me gone. Hopefully they can carry on without being weighed down now that I’m gone.

The man stands in front of me once more, his eyes exhausted now from everything he and his partner have done for the past…hour? I think? I have no clue how long this has been going on, nor do I have a clue how many times I was whipped or burned, nor how many questions they asked me that I refused to answer. All I know is that the end is nigh, and I feel nothing.

“I’m going to give you one more chance. If you do not answer this question, you are going to be sent to our burial grounds. We know one among you has the power to conjure the dead in order to fight alongside your group. What is the name of this person?”

That is what truly makes me snap. They mean Mourner. They want to know about Mourner because they know the power Mourner has would be useful to them somehow. I’m not going to stand for this.

“I’ll never betray him like that. I don’t care that we got into a fight, he shouldn’t be trailed by the likes of you.”

Leaning ever so slightly forward, I spit directly in his face. Apparently my mouth is still bloody, because he winds up with a splotch of blood directly on his cheek. As he wipes it off, the rage on his face feels almost freeing. Yes, this is the end, but I did what I had to in order to protect the ones I love.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were in love with him."

"Oh, I absolutely am."

Even if they don’t care about me anymore, even if I destroyed my relationship with every one of them beyond repair in the end, I can say I refused to endanger them.

"You're what?"

"In love. Or do you guys not feel that? Wouldn't be surprised."

Quickly after spitting in his face, I’m pulled to my feet and burnt one last time before I am dragged out of the room.

"Come on f-"

"There is a difference between gay and bisexual. You should probably know that. If you want to insult my sexuality, just call me an indecisive slut and get it over with."

Soon after, I find myself being dragged out of the building. I don’t understand. They’re freeing me? After I was so defiant? Are they going to try to get me to run back to the camp and then follow me there or something?

As I see them drag me into a field filled with holes that look like they could be graves, I remember what he said about the burial grounds. So they are killing me, and they’re doing so slowly. I’m going to be buried alive. I really am done for.

One man keeps me held back, anticipating me to try to run. I don’t. I stand completely still. I knew my death would come while I was here. The other leaves, returning with a coffin. The coffin is opened and I find myself being lifted into it by the throat. I lay completely still, just as I had been standing, knowing that there’s nothing I can do to prevent this at this point in time. I’m not scared.

"No screams? No cries to be saved? No last minute confessions?"

"You would have just killed me anyways. You don't have your masks on. I knew I was a goner from the start."

He shrugs. "You're stronger than I thought."

The coffin is closed, and soon after, I find myself being lowered into the ground. When I hear the dirt being filled in over the coffin, that is when I start to actually feel afraid. This shouldn't be how it ends, but I can’t do anything to stop it. And at least my life can end now with the knowledge that I was loyal to my friends.

Hearing fading laughter from above me, I realize that they’ve finished the job and I have only hours left to live. As sweat gets in my eyes, I think I’m slowly dying. I have the urge to scream, but what good would that do? There’s no one around, they’re not going to hear me. All that would do is make my death quicker. Easier even. And I don’t deserve that. I’m going to go out slowly.

Through the dark of the buried kennel I’m lying in, all I see is hate and anger. I can’t escape this place, I can hardly breathe and I can hardly take it. But I can still try to be happy, because after all, I’m not a traitor. Who am I kidding, that mindset hasn’t helped me, and for all I know, it might not help anyone else either. They could just as easily hunt down every one of us and do this just the same to each of them.

I’ve been tortured before, I’ve been tormented to the point that I was screaming until my voice blew out, and yet I have never felt so final. And that is what makes me panic. I have tolerated the idea of death for the duration of my time here.

Suddenly, it feels as if a switch has been flipped inside my mind. There’s nothing I can do to dig myself out of here, nor is there anything I can do to make myself seen, but dammit I can make myself heard. So, with every bit of energy I have left in me, I scream at the top of my lungs.

The screams physically hurt and I can barely get them out, and yet, I scream louder than I ever have before, so loud that my ears start to ring. I know I am going to suffocate myself quicker if I am not found, but I don’t care, someone could find me and get me out! Whatever happens, I can’t die!

My screaming continues until my voice starts to go weak, and then the realization washes over me that my screams have been completely feeble. Now I’m still done for, only now it’s coming quicker than I initially anticipated. I can only hope now that FEAR will not go after my loved ones, and that they will not die in the same vain that I did. Perhaps I was never meant for this world, but they were and they deserve to continue living through it.

I think something is happening above me.

Why am I hearing screams from above ground? I wonder. Probably just the lack of oxygen.

As I start feeling myself running low on air, Mourner crosses my mind again. I know he hates me now, and once again, I don’t blame him at all for hating me, but I can give myself some credit for preventing him from dying the same death as me. Hopefully he can find someone better than me as a friend, someone who won’t refuse to listen like that, and maybe someone who's foolish enough to fall in love with him. He deserves to have someone.

As my breathing slows and my consciousness starts to fade, he is the last thing on my mind, with my last thought being my hope that we meet in another life…

Mourner

My vision is blurred by my tears as I run aimlessly around the building.

"Come on, come on. I need to find him!"

I heard faint screams, and I swear they sounded like Mystic, but it can't be him, he’s dead. All I want is a sign, any sign that could tell me where Mystic is. I don’t believe he’s alive, there’s absolutely no way in hell that he’s still living. He’s been away now long enough for them to have tortured and killed him. All I want to do is find his corpse for the burial, and murder every single last one of those bastards.

I know by now that he has to be dead, but there’s something inside of me that thinks he’s still alive. I know it’s the grief talking, this is just the stage of denial. It will be over soon enough, and when it ends, I’ll be able to accept that I’ll never be able to make amends for the things I said to him, and that I’ll never be able to let him know how much I love him. I wish I could do something, anything to take my mind off of the grief, but what am I supposed to do? He’s gone, and it’s my fault.

My mind is going back and forth between “he has to be dead” and “he can’t be dead”. I know it’s almost impossible, if not impossible, that he’s alive right now.

"No, no. Mourner try to think positively. He might still be alive."

But at the same time, I know he can’t be dead. I don’t even know what I’ll do if I find his body. I don’t think I can live with him dead.

For a moment I stop to take a breath and start to think about what my life would be without him there. That reality sounds absolutely hollow. No matter how close I get with anyone else, even Prophet, Destroyer, or Savior, I will never be able to replace Mystic.

"He can't be dead, he can't be dead, this isn't happening."

Whether or not I’m ready to accept it, he’s gone, I can never get him back and it’s my own fucking fault. If I didn’t start that fight, he would still be here.

"You shouldn't have said those things. Oh god, why did I talk to him like that?"

He and I would have gone to one of our tents together during that storm, we would have been able to protect each other.

"You should have just checked with Savior first and made sure you got the story right!"

But no, I had to fight with him instead of talking it out. Or just letting him cool down. I didn’t wait to see what actually happened. He isolated himself from everyone, and he was captured without us knowing until the morning. That gave them plenty of time to torture and kill him.

There’s no one to blame for this but me. I should have been there for him. He was there for me every single time in the past, we were always there for each other. Was I that scared that I lost the person who meant more to me than anyone or anything in the world, the person I would kill and die for?

"Is that even a question, Timothy?"

Yes. I absolutely crushed him and then let him go off on his own. I blamed him for something he should never have been blamed for, and the look on his face when I did that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

I didn’t even bother to think about how much I was hurting him when I was screaming at him, and that fucked everything up beyond all repair. He got killed. He's dead, all because of my own stupidity.

My self-loathing is interrupted by a scream coming from right outside. Just like the one before. Now that I’m closer, I hear that it sounds just like Mystic, and I swear my heart stops as I call his name. “Mystic?” I yell, my voice cracking. It can’t be him, he must be dead by now. I must be losing my mind. But then I hear the scream again.

I hear Destroyer calling my name from right behind me, saying that they’ve been looking everywhere for me.

"Where the fuck-"

I just point to the door leading outside. “He’s out there.” Savior and Prophet appear to me after Destroyer, and I can tell from the look on their faces that I must look and sound insane to them.

They probably don’t believe me, they must think I’m losing my mind from the grief, and I wouldn’t blame them, but I know what I heard. But I don’t think they heard the screams. Was I really the only one who heard that? I know I was the closest one, but maybe they heard it in the distance? Is my mind making this up?

“You have to believe me!” I practically scream, moving to open the door. Prophet just nods and walks out as soon as I burst the door open. If Prophet is approving of what I’m saying, then I have to be right about where Mystic is, because he would know if I’m wrong or not, right? I know his brain is still a bit screwed up right now, but he would still know.

"Please tell me you believe me."

"My intuition-"

"Your powers? They're back?" I say hopefully.

"'It's getting there. But I think you're right."

As soon as I get outside, I see what looks like a freshly dug grave, and I know that Mystic has to be in there. I get down and start digging it up, throwing the dirt behind me.

"Dude, you really need to work on your aim!" Destroyer says, as he tries to get the dirt out of his mouth.

"I don't think he cares about that right now." Savior mumbles.

"THANK YOU! NOW HELP ME DIG!" I scream.

I can barely breathe because of all the dirt and dust getting in my face, but I don’t stop for a second. There could still be a chance that he’s alive, and I’m going to preserve that chance, even if it kills me.

By now I’ve dug a hole that I think is about two feet deep, and I know that I still can’t stop. I’m practically choking, but I know that me suffering for a bit means nothing if it means that I still have time to save Mystic.

Prophet and Destroyer are helping me to dig up the rest of the grave while Savior stands by to warn us if he sees anyone coming. Honestly I don’t care if anyone sees me. They can take me wherever they will, I won’t care.

"My arms-"

"KEEP GOING!" I yell.

Maybe I do sound insane, maybe I sound obsessed, but I don’t care. I need him, I need to have him by my side, and if he is gone, then I know it won’t be much longer before I’m gone too.

After what feels like forever, I start to see what looks like a coffin. So, I start working to uncover more of it, throwing the dirt around and not really caring where it lands, only if it’s away from where the coffin is. Once I can finally see the entirety of the coffin, I start doing everything I can to open it.

The side of the coffin is still surrounded by enough dirt to keep us from opening it, so I keep digging, and I do so a bit faster. I’m starting to feel that all hope is gone here. We’ve run out of time and by the time we finally get the coffin open, he’ll be long gone. But that isn’t stopping me from trying to find out.

When the dirt is finally cleared from the side of the coffin, I practically throw the top open. My heart seems to drop to my knees when I see him there, pale and unmoving. This can’t be happening, it isn’t happening, this is some sort of sick dream, a cruel nightmare that will come to an end any second now. It isn’t real.

Grabbing Mystic from out of the coffin, I start screaming at the top of my lungs for him to wake up.

“Please, please be alive! Wake up!”

I can barely form words at all, just the words “wake up” are almost too much for me to speak. I try shaking him and am met with no response. When I try to grab his hand, I feel that it’s cold to the touch. He’s dead.

Or maybe that’s just because it’s really cold today.

My entire body is in a state of shock. I don’t feel in control of myself anymore. Whether or not Prophet, Destroyer, or Savior are talking to me, I don’t know at all. I can’t understand them. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my own heart beating so hard that it drowns out the sound of their words. Without a word from my own mouth, I start running. I can’t bear to see Mystic like this and have only one thing on my mind. Vengeance.

I swore from the moment we found Mystic gone that I would kill whoever took him and anyone who dared to harm him. I have nothing to lose. They’re all going to pay for what they did with their fucking lives.

Going back into the building and through the hallway, I hear laughter. This causes me to immediately spring in the direction of the sound. When I look to see who the laughter could belong to, my heart drops again when I see two men there, one of them holding a dirty shovel. It’s them, they’re the ones who did it.

“And we put him through the wringer, didn’t we?”

“I wonder if his stupid friends are gonna try to save him.”

“I wonder if he knew we already were aware about Mourner before we asked him.”

“Good one, man. I could see the terror in his eyes!”

Without giving it a second thought, I grab the dagger in my pocket and run into the room with it in hand. Before they have time to question who I am or why I’m there, I grab the one with the shovel and push him against the wall, knocking the shovel out of his arms.

"Who are you?"

"Code name is Mourner." I reply.

"So you're the bastard we've been researching.”

“You killed him,” I shout, holding the dagger only an inch from his chest. “Who, the prisoner? Of course I did. And that sick pervert was in love with you. Can you believe it!" That does it. I’m not listening to another word from this subhuman scum.

"He…I could've told him. He was in love with me too." I can't think about that right now.

Grabbing him by the throat, I pull the dagger back another inch or so.

"And I was in love with him."

"You too?" The official says, gasping for air.

I don't bother to respond before lunging it directly into his heart, continuing to go deeper until I can’t push it any further. Once this happens, I pull it out and stab him again.

Blood starts to splatter all over me as I continuously stab the bastard. He barely screamed and by now, I know he’s dead, but I can’t stop until I drain him of his blood enough to send a message. Once this is done, I move onto the other man who was with him, who can only stand by in shock.

"Is everyone on your wretched team a freak like you?"

When I grab him, another man walks in, asking what was done with the prisoner they were interrogating.

"You're going to hell." He says.

"Tell Satan I give him my regards when you get down there." As the other official looks at me, I make direct eye contact with him as I stab his colleague directly in the stomach.

"Backup! I need backup!"

His voice filled with terror, and I laugh as I stab his coworker again. I’ve never felt like this before, never in my life have I truly felt bloodlust until now. I’ve had to kill during battles, but never have I felt this passionate about it before.

Once I can be sure that this one is dead, I start to run towards the other one. He darts away, and I run after him, starting to chase him through the hallways. My dagger is still in my hand, at this point the whole thing is stained red and is dripping all over. Then again, so are my clothes. Even my hair is dripping blood.

He is running fast and is still calling for backup, but that isn’t going to stop me. He’s dead, and so are they. All of them are, I’m killing anyone who gets too close. Now I’m starting to close in on him, and he has a gun aimed at me.

"You're a monster! A complete pervert!"

"Bitch, I raise the dead, your opinion means nothing to me."

“What if I told you, Timothy, I was the one who shot your mother through the heart?”

“My-”

“Nadia Garret. 38 years old. She wouldn’t let us fix your heathen ways. Said that you didn’t need fixing.” He shrugs. “Said she still loved you.”

I don’t even stop to think about what to do about the fact that he’s armed, I simply kick the gun out of his hands before grabbing him and slashing his throat. Then I continue to stab and slash his body until the ground is blood stained. By the time I’m done with him, I see that the people he called for are here. Two of them came, and neither of them came prepared enough. Their guns won’t stop me.

As soon as I see their faces, I turn and start chasing them the same way I had with the others. Then one turns around, grabs me, and puts his gun directly up to my head. For a split second, I feel fearful again, but that ends as soon as I can get my hand close enough to his face.

“Any regrets?” He asks, ready to shoot.

Then I take my fingers and drive them directly into his eyes. He stumbles back, and I stab him directly in the heart. Once he is no longer moving or screaming, I slash his skin a few times more, leaving enough blood on the floor so that another unsuspecting bastard can come in and slip on it. I hope if that happens that they crack their fucking skull.

When I take a few more steps, I see the other person called for backup running from me. Now that I can see him clearly, I run after him. He’s not innocent, fearful or not. He had something to do with Mystic’s death, and now he is going to suffer the consequences.

“Someone needs to restrain this maniac for me!” He shouts.

While he’s faster than I thought he would be, his luck runs out when he trips and falls. I don’t waste a single second, I run straight to him and start dragging him away by the leg.

“What do you want?” he asks.

When he starts to scream, I kneel down and stab him in the back repeatedly. He screams for quite some time, but eventually the screams die down and then come to a complete stop.

Now that they’re gone, I can see what I’ve done now, and that is that I have brutally killed five people. And I have done so in cold blood. I don’t feel the slightest glimpse of sympathy towards them.

Nothing can take away nor heal this pain in my heart, but their blood on my hands, at least it’s a start.

Even though they’re gone now, none of the guilt I feel has disappeared. It’s my fault that Mystic was taken in the first place.

Maybe now would be a good time to go back. I know I have to face the fact that Mystic is dead and gone, and that means going back to see Prophet, Destroyer, and Savior. I have to come to terms with this, and I can’t do that here alone. I start to go back to where I last saw them.

When I walk over to where they are with Mystic’s body-

"AHHHHH!!!!!" Prophet screams, almost falling to the ground before Savior catches him. I could look at their faces and think that they saw a ghost.

"Don't freak out, it's just Mourner." Savior tries to explain.

"Don't freak out? DON’T FREAK OUT? I was injected with sleeping juice, we just dug Mystic out of a fucking coffin, and now Mourner looks like Carrie!"

“What did you do?” Destroyer shouts. I look down at my blood stained clothing and realize that I have nothing to say for myself. I don’t know how to explain what I did.

They’re all trying to talk to me, and I still can’t understand them. All I can do is stare at Mystic, still trying to comprehend that he’s gone.

Eventually, I find myself crawling onto the ground and holding Mystic’s body in my arms. Once I’m holding him, I can’t contain myself, I just start bawling like a child. He’s actually dead, I can’t deny it any longer. We were too late to save him. Now I don’t know how to continue on with my life.

I can barely breathe as I hug his body so tightly that I worry about breaking him in half. I don’t want to let go, and I can’t.

“You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are gray

You’ll never know dear

How much I love you

Please don’t take my sunshine away” I begin singing.

My mom always sang that to me at bedtime, when I was younger and couldn’t sleep.

I don’t know what to do, it feels like my life is over. It should be over. I should have been taken instead. I was the one who started that fight. They should have taken me instead, they should have tortured and killed me. Mystic didn’t deserve any of this, but I would have deserved every second of it.

I still have Prophet, Destroyer, and Savior, I’m still a big part of the Wild Ones, and I know they need me. But they needed Mystic too. It’ll never be the same again without him. And while I don’t want to leave them, a part of me hopes that I die in the next battle. It doesn’t matter if I make it through.

When I’m finally able to snap back out of my thoughts, I realize that Destroyer is calling my name, and I think he has been for some time. “Listen, Mourner, I know you’re probably not going to believe this but, um…he’s not dead.” Those three words almost anger me. I feel like he’s lying to me, and why would he lie about something like this? Is he just trying to comfort me, or is he being serious?

Then Savior speaks.

“I was able to find a pulse while you went all Tasmanian Devil.” He takes my hand and places it on Mystic’s wrist. His heart is still beating.

“He’s unconscious from the lack of oxygen in the tight space. They planned a slow death for him. I don’t know how long he was in there, I can’t estimate if he’s going to stay unconscious forever.”

I don’t know why I can’t believe this, but it feels strange. Nonetheless, he is apparently still alive, and I will be doing everything in my power to keep him that way.

We’re going back to the camp now, and I am going to make sure he’s still alive, I’m going to be there when and if he ever wakes up. I’m never going to leave him again.

“Mourner, do you want me to-”

“No, Savior. I can hold him.”

Even though he might never forgive me for the things I said to him, and I wouldn’t blame him in the slightest.

As we walk out, I can see in the light of day that the blood from my clothes is starting to stain Mystic’s clothes too. That doesn’t stop me from still holding onto him as tightly as I can. I’m not letting go, and I feel like I might never be able to let him go again. The only thing I can focus on is staring at his face to see if he shows any sign that he’ll wake up soon.

The entire walk back, I can’t take my eyes off of Mystic’s face. All of my attention is on him. I’m trying to focus on his breathing, any slight movement he makes, trying to see if he makes any sort of sound, or if he stirs at all.

“Is he okay, Mourner?” Prophet asks.

“He’s still alive, if that’s what you mean.”

I don’t know when he’ll wake up, I don’t know if he’ll ever wake up, for all I know, he could still be dying, but he is alive right now, and as long as I have that chance that he will wake up, I am going to cling to it.

Once we’re back, I take Mystic to my tent and set him up so he’ll be comfortable. And I put in extra reinforcements. Then I seat myself right by his side and make sure to tell myself that I’m not leaving this spot until he wakes up. I don’t care if I’m here for days, I’m not moving. Even then, I hope to whoever may be listening that he forgives me, even after I said all those horrible things to him during the fight.

"Dude, you should probably change your clothes." Prophet says.

"No, no I'll do that later."

I have to be here for him, I need to make sure he knows that I would sooner die than abandon him.

After a day, I notice some movement.

"Mystic-"

He turns to me, and those brilliant blue eyes make my breath hitch.

"Where am I? Mourner, why are you-oh God, is this yours?" He points to the blood.

"Wait, is this heaven? Mourner, please don't tell me you killed-

"No, no it's not heaven, and this isn't my blood. You're at camp and…you're alive."

Tears start leaking from my eyes, and Mystic wipes some of it off of my cheek.

"Well, with Prophet gone-"

"No no, don't go there. He's not dead."

"The bullet-"

"It wasn't a bullet! It was some kind of sleeping potion that explodes on impact. He's tired but-Oh god, you're alive."

I hug him tightly, and he tries to get up.

"Do you need-" I put my hand on his back.

"Ow! Oh man, that hurts."

"God, I-"

"Mourner, can I please stay here?"

I nod. "Of course, of course. I need to tell the others!"

As I run out of my tent, I keep hoping he forgives me. Regardless of whether or not he does, I don’t think I can forgive myself for any of this. He is still alive, and he may live through this, but…And at the end of the day, that’s still my fault. I know that for a fact. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to him, but that’s only if he'll ever forgive me…

Savior

Prophet finally has his full senses back, the effects of the sleeping bullet have worn off. Now we’re just hoping that Mystic wakes up soon.

"He'll be fine, he's going to be okay. He'll wake up soon."

Mourner is staying with him, and he refuses to leave his side. I’m going to tend to his wounds once he’s awake, right now I’m just trying to make sure Prophet is actually okay.

I don’t take my eyes off of Prophet until I see Mourner sprinting out of his tent, tripping over his own feet.

"Guys! Mystic-Mystic's awake!"

As soon as I hear those words out of his mouth, I stand up. I know that Destroyer can stay here with Prophet for now, so I run back with Mourner.

"Come on!"

True to what Mystic said, he is awake. He still looks a bit dazed, but he’s awake nonetheless.

Mourner is right by his side, and the look in his eyes tells me that if I do one little thing to slip up, I’m going to wind up just like the people who hurt Mystic in the FEAR facility.

"Mourner, you are scaring me right now."

"Good." He says with clenched teeth.

"You know I'm going to do everything in my power to help him, right?"

Honestly I have no clue how to approach this situation. Mourner is extremely protective over Mystic right now, and I’m scared to do the wrong thing. I know Mourner wouldn’t actually want to hurt me, but he doesn’t mess around when it comes to Mystic.

"I know you're stressed out-"

"If you kill him-"

"Mourner, you know I would never do that."

"I don't want to take my chances. I'm staying here."

“Mourner, it’s just me. I have to get to Mystic so I can care for his wounds. You don’t have to leave.” He moves aside slightly, keeping his eyes glued to Mystic as I move towards him. The moment I get close to Mystic, he flinches. I don’t know what he kind of torture he endured, but it must have been horrendous. I’m kind of worried to treat him. I don’t want to trigger any bad memories.

Once I’m finally able to get close enough to him, I ask him where his wounds are located on his body. He doesn’t speak, but Mourner lifts his shirt up. What I see horrifies me. His entire back is covered with lacerations and burns. I don’t know what the hell they did to him to cause all this, but his entire back is screwed up by the marks.

"Oh my god. Mystic, I'm so sorry." Mourner whispers.

"You didn't cause this."

"If I hadn't yelled at him-"

"He's alive now."

Thankfully the wounds aren’t deep, so I can close them easily, but I have to disinfect them first. I do have some disinfectant around, so I go outside and into my tent until I find it.

Then I go back to Mourner’s tent. As soon as I get back, I pour the disinfectant on a cloth.

"How is he?"

"I think he's a little out of it still. He was lucid when he first woke up, but I think his brain's a little foggy."

I start talking to Mystic.

"This is going to sting a little."

I pause for a second.

"Actually, scratch that, it's going to hurt like hell."

I know this is going to hurt him a bit, but it has to be done in order for him to get better. Bracing myself for a reaction from Mystic, I start to rub the cloth all over his back.

Despite my warnings, he screams in pain within seconds of the disinfectant reaching his skin. Mourner wraps his arms around Mystic, who screams into his chest as I continue to disinfect his wounds. I feel bad about this, but I have to make sure it doesn’t get worse. If I don’t do this, he’ll wind up with major infections that could cause him serious issues if not kill him.

“Breathe Mystic. You’re okay,” Mourner whispers as he holds Mystic. As Mourner continues to hold him, I finish cleaning his wounds. Then I go to start closing them over. As soon as I touch his back, he cries out again, begging for me to stop. I quickly take my hands off of him.

"I'm not going to say anything! This is nothing I haven't dealt with before."

For a moment I’m confused as to why he said that, but then my stomach sinks as the truth hits me. He doesn’t even know where he is. Right now, at least.

"Was he like this when he woke up?"

"No," Mourner says, "not at all".

In his mind, he’s still in the FEAR headquarters, being tortured. He probably doesn’t even know that it’s us with him.

"Mystic, you're in the camp, remember? Do you remember waking up here?"

For some reason, I don't think he does.

"Mystic, you're not there anymore. Savior is just applying disinfectant. We're all here, Destroyer and Prophet are outside. We won't let them take you again."

When Mystic finally realizes that he’s telling the truth, he cries out again. “I don’t want to go back there. Please don’t make me go back. Please. I’m sorry for everything I did. Just don’t make me go back there.”

Hearing him say all of this is heartbreaking. He must be so traumatized by what he went through. At the moment he’s sobbing in Mourner’s arms.

"Mourner, I'm so sorry. I should have just talked to you, I shouldn't-"

"Mystic, that's not important now." Mourner responds.

Looking at Mourner’s face, I can tell that he’s barely holding it together right now. And I can’t say that I blame him. He's cradling Mystic like a child.

Mourner looks at me and nods his head. I continue running my hands over Mystic’s wounds, closing them up. By the time I finish, only scars remain.

"How bad do they look?" Mystic asks.

"Bad. Really bad. But I think you'll live." Mourner says.

Hopefully those heal nicely.

After a little while, Mystic starts to calm down. Mourner is continuing to hold him, reminding him to keep breathing. I’ve done all I can do, and I think a lot of this will be better handled by Mystic than by any of the rest of us. Mourner knows Mystic more than anyone else, they’re so close and I think any first discussions involving whatever happened to him are best had with Mourner. So I'll leave them alone.

"Well, I've done what I can. I'll be with Prophet and Destroyer if you need me."

"Okay." Mourner whispers.

I walk outside. Prophet is starting to act like himself again, and Destroyer looks more relaxed. I think we’re all relieved right now that everyone made it out of this situation alive, but I don’t know how long that relief is going to last. Looking at how Mystic was in there, he might never be the same again.

"Dada, dada!" I turn around and see Abigail running towards me. When she gets close enough, I pick her up and hug her. I can’t help but tear up a little bit right now.

"Abby, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

We were in such a dangerous situation, I might have never seen her again if things went any differently.

When it comes to Abigail, I don’t know what’s scarier: the idea that I could get hurt and she would be without me, or the idea that she could get hurt at any time. If anything ever hurt her, I would destroy everything. Sometimes it scares me, when I think of how much harm I might be willing to cause just to keep her safe.

I need to get Abigail to bed. Everything else can be sorted out in the morning, but after the way the past few days have been, I’m exhausted. Hopefully we can figure out how to prevent this again in the morning. We need each other now more than ever.

"Abigail, I'll be right next to you, okay? Your papa's not leaving tonight."

Abigail is already falling asleep. I’m tired but I can’t close my eyes, I have so many things running through my mind right now. I don’t like being the person to think about what could have happened, but I can’t help it now. Mystic was so close to death when we were able to dig him up, who’s to say that he wouldn’t have actually died if we were even five minutes later than we were?

All I can hope now is that this doesn’t happen again to any of us.

"What should I do? Are there extra reinforcements? Should I arm my daughter even more?"

They almost killed one of us and could have easily killed the rest of us as well. If we don’t take any precautions to stop this from happening again, we’ll all be dead next time. So, I’m going to work from now on to be prepared for anything. They could try to pull this again at any time, and I’ll be prepared. I’m nobody’s fool…

#black veil brides #bvb #jinxx #lonny eagleton #andy biersack #cc coma #jake pitts #wretched and divine

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the-badger-mole · 2 years

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Ms. Badger I am yelling I am screaming I just saw a take that melted my brain. Someone claimed that TSR is Zuko manipulating Katara into not hating him anymore by using the trauma of her mother's death and leading her into possibly being a murderer. And how she felt like she didn't have a choice but to hunt him down knowing he was out there. Like cndidjbfirn they act as though everyone who likes that episode thinks yon rah should've died (when I've mostly seen it being glad for her having the choice and needing to know and needing the closure of facing that trauma) and the Zuko was evil manipulative man by encouraging her to seek that catharsis (while it may or may not! Have helped him be in her good graces)(also I think they threw in Aang was right and we are all nasty zutara shippers for liking the ep even though yes I ship zutara and like the ep with that context but also love it for the Katara growth in it in general!!)

Please help me articulate why they are wrong I am just so confused as to how someone could see that ep and think "what a horrible person Zuko is for supporting Katara's very justifiable anger and wanting to not be iced out by her so helping her face that pain"

Well, first of all, Aang wasn't right. Katara herself said he wasn't. She got what she needed from that trip, and that at the end of the day is all that should matter. The problem there is that Bryke doesn't really care what Katara thinks, so the fact that she said with her own lips that Aang was wrong carries no weight with them, and by extension no weight with anyone who uses TSR as an example of why Zutara was bad.

Second of all, Zuko didn't force her into anything. He offered her the information and let her decide what to do with it. He had just gone through something similar with Ozai and didn't kill him, so there's no reason to assume he'd be encouraging Katara to kill Yon Rah. He knew how important it was to face the sorce of your trauma, and he offered the same chance to Katara (although, I don't for a second think he'd have judged her if she had killed the pathetic little weasel). If that hadn't worked to get him on her good side, he either would have tried something else, or given up on making direct amends. After all, Zuko (unlike someother people I could name) wouldn't have forced Katara into anything. He might have been frustrated, but he wouldn't have forced himself past Katara's boundaries. He knew to give Katara space to decide what to do, and he would have respected her decision if she decided not to find Yon Rha as readily as he respected her decision to find him.

In the end, I think he and Katara would have ended up as friends regardless. It might have taken longer, but I think Zuko's sincerity would have won her over in the end (also the fact that with Zuko, there was one other person around to be responsible with her). Katara and Zuko's reconciliation was inevitable, and from a plot standpoint, necessary to move the story forward. Their chemistry was too natural and too thematically relevant for them not to at least be friends before everything was over. Without Kataang, the story wouldn't change much (actually, without Aang, the story wouldn't really change much). But Katara and Zuko's relationship was not only necessary for each of their journies, it tied the themes of the show together. She was always going to forgive him. He was always going to do his best to earn her trust back. No force was necessary.

#atla #zutara #anti kataang #anti aang #zuko was a better friend to katara in like 10 episodes than aang was to her in the whole series #enemies to friends to lovers ftw!#aang can go sit in a corner somewhere #quietly

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