#honestly I think finding angst is a hobby at this point

[yourlocalgrass]

So, I remembered when in a Devilgram Luicfer in a way compared MC to cherry blossoms

Btw image order is wrong they go the other way around but I put it in that order so it makes things easier, anyways:

Right you see the highlighted one right? ‘Fleeting’ He just fully outright said that cherry blossoms die fast. And then compared them to MC. (Also yes cherry blossoms have a very short life and it symbolises that time is fleeting- one of the things it symbolises at least)

I just felt like… wow. That actually hurts if you think about it. He really said he knows and admits out loud MC is going to die one day and fast. I mean, that’s basically what he said right? Personally I would have picked up on the word ‘fleeting’ because I’d then start to feel bad.

I’m not sure if I’m wrong but I don’t think we’ve seen the brothers talk about MC’s short life that much (in a depressing way). I remember Mammon mentioning it probably somewhere? And I remember the brothers talking about human lifespan in general once in Nightbringer but… not much other than that.

But from this I’m guessing that Lucifer has probably come to terms with it and now all he wants is to enjoy his time with MC while they are alive, but I also feel that he only believes he thinks it this way. But when MC really does die he won’t be able to accept it. Honestly can’t imagine any of the brothers would especially at the start.

If anyone has any lessons or anywhere of anyone talking about mc’s short lifespan I’d love to see it please! Like I want to know how much potential angst they’ve really put out there.

#this devilgram is supposed to be sweet and fluff with under the cherry trees and all #but then theres me who turned this into angst #honestly I think finding angst is a hobby at this point #I already know wth is wrong with me I ask myself that too #obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me nb #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me devilgram

[b3rrymilks]

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 !

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 : a cute lil sleepover with your boyfriend miles :)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : <3 this was also requested by anon, so enjoy luv ! (sorry for all the angst on my page rn..💔💔) this is very short due to my mind not being able to cook anything longer up. my minds been a bit all over the place😭😭 sorryyy💔 ART CRED : thokzu on tt

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : miles morales (1610) x reader

ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ

🕷️ while being conjoined at the hands, you both danced around in the pouring rain. your laughter filled the small space you danced in. miles was a nice change of pace in your life, ever since you’d gotten with him, things have changed for the better.

“you’re so beautiful” miles wasn’t usually the type to get all sappy without nearly having a nervous breakdown. “what did you do?” you replied, squinting and pointing an accusing finger at him. “nothing nothing, i just wanted you to know” miles laughed, watching you happily. this moment was cut short by his mother yelling. “MILES GONZALO MORALES GET INTO THIS HOUSE OR SO HELP ME!” her screams were louder than the rain. somehow.

when you two both walked into the house, rio had placed multiple towels on the floor so the rain wouldn’t get spread all over the floor. “you two—“ her lecture paused as she stared at the both of you. standing there soaked holding eachothers hands. “—get changed before you get sick.” she said, throwing even more towels at you two. “nowwww!” she added, watching you both still standing there, giggling.

what you two didn’t know, was that she watched the entire time as you two danced out in the rain. she found it heartwarming as her and jeff did the dame thing when they were kids.

miles wrapped a towel around you and rubbed it all around, creating friction to warm you up. “well, there’s no taking you home in this rain, my mom would kill me if either of us got sick.” miles spoke, looking around his room for a change of clothes for you. “uhh, here” he handed you one of his large white shirts, and fluffy pajama pants that his mom had bought a dupe of.

miles loved to draw, it was one of his favorite hobbies. he would often sketch you during class, as you would be nearly falling asleep at the boring lesson. no matter where he was or what he was doing he would always find himself drawing you. he had multiple sketchbooks already full, and every 2 pages there was a sketch of you.

there was something about the rain that was calming, making you tired. the rain definitely wasn’t going to let up soon, so you joined miles in his room as he completed his physics homework. he rubbed his temples in confusion. he had missed a few days of class, meaning he was behind in work. “you know it’s a trick question right miles?” you told him, giggling at his frustration. “no it’s not? it’s—“ he paused mid sentence, rereading the question. “no way…” he whispered, looking back at you. your giggling finally got to him, making him grab a pillow from his bed and toss it at you.

“hey HEY! it’s not my fault you missed class” holding the pillow up in defense. “you think it’s so funny hm??” he asked, picking up another larger pillow and threw it at you. loud laughter eventually filled miles’ room as you both began throwing pillows at each other.

his parents sat in the living room, listening to the laughter. “hope he’s done his physics homework.” his father spoke through an exhale, finishing his water. in honestly, they were all glad miles was happy and had someone to hang around with. (tehee.. get it? hang aroun? alr my bad don’t block me pls💔)

“okay okay fine! i’m sorry” you apologized to miles who was still hitting you with the large soft pillow. “i forgive you.. for now” miles spoke before falling onto his bed, pulling you close. his body heat quickly spread between the both of you.

soon the laughter died down, and the rain continued to patter against the window in his room. with slow blinks and miles caressing your face, you slowly fell asleep.

“i love you.” miles whispered pressing a gentle kiss onto your forehead, watching your chest rise and fall. “you are a lover boy huh? crazyyyy” his father peeked into his cracked open door. “dad! get—“ lowering his voice, “—get out.” embarrassment quickly setting in. as his father left, he closed the door. “he takes after his father.” he mumbled with a laugh.

#💫 » 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐄’𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ˚ ˛ * 。 #miles morales #across the spiderverse #miles g morales #sony spiderverse #spider man across the spider verse #fluff #miles x reader #miles gonzalo morales #miles morales 1610 #miles morales x reader

[alornights]

hii! i really loved your you and i romance troupe and was wondering if you could do one for craig’s group or maybe even the main girls?

⟢ you and i pt. 2

➜ in which ! you get romance troped again!

💌 ﹫team craig & team wendy.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗angst/hurt for some.

🍓 ⟡ notes — guess whos back. back again.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CRAIG TUCKER opposites attract

he didnt hate you or anything he just found you so annoying.

you were loud and annoying and everything craig wanted to stray away from to make sure he isn't set off.

yet somehow he always draw to you and was always involved with you and he found that he quite enjoyed his time with you.

it was a gradual progression before his feelings were too much for him to handle by himself.

so he just asks you to date him in the most plain way possible.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TOLKIEN BLACK fake relationship

he hated that cartman was always trying to set him up with nichole or any other person who wasn't white that came to town.

so when the two of you were talking one day and you jokingly told him how sad it was to be single he had an idea.

tolkien asked you to fake date him. for funsies of course.

you obviously agreed wanting to help your friend and get the girls off your back about not having a boyfriend.

but things started to get a little too real and now its almost like you are a #real couple. and tolkien wouldn't have it any other way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ JIMMY VALMER oblivious to love

you had the biggest crush on him & everyone in the school knew

except him of course because well bros kind of oblivious.

literally people tell him straight up and he would think its a joke and laugh it off unless you personally go up and tell him.

its not even like hahahaha no way she could like me. he just thinks its a joke point blank and that people are fucking with him.

so when you do eventually tell him, he's shocked. but happy :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CLYDE DONOVAN matchmaker gone wrong

initially he was trying to pair you with kenny.

so he became friends with you to find out what you liked, what you did on your off times, any secrets that could help kenny, etc.

but the more time that he tried helping kenny, the more time he spent with you.

and more feelings in him started arising. and he couldn't help but fall for you even though he's supposed to be helping kenny.

but you fell for kenny, and he just hoped he could fix this all.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TWEEK TWEAK trapped in an elevator

tweek was just heading upstairs for one of his deliveries when he got stuck, with you, a person he has never seen before.

you somehow manage to calm him down. god knows how.

then the two of you start talking for like an hour about random things trying to fill the emptiness of the elevator.

you two were so distracted with one another that you didn't even notice the door behind you open and the sight of freedom.

you deffo got his number after that.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ WENDY TESTABURGER pen pals

honestly, wendy didn't know why she decided to have a pen pal. she just remembers mr. mackey telling her it could be a good idea.

so she finds a club and starts lettering to you regularly, finding that it was much more fun than she thought it would be.

she loved hearing about your day, your gossip, your hobbies. all of it, she loved everything about you.

so when you mentioned your family was going to south park to visit an old family friend, the girl was delighted.

when she saw you in person for the first time, she fell 10x harder.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ BEBE STEVENS lovers in denial

the two of you were best friends, inseparable, the iconic duo.

so when bebe starts getting nervous around you she doesn't even give it a second thought, brushing it off.

but it gets to the point where she can't even think when she's around you, yet she continues to deny her feelings.

even after you confess your love for her, she denies and denies.

she shakes it off and continues with her life, while still talking to you, there's the tension that will always remain.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ HEIDI TURNER right person, wrong time

it was right after she had finally broken it off with cartman officially, and you found her at the park alone.

you were a light in her life after that, you had never discouraged her for dating cartman especially knowing both of their situations.

you helped her through so much and were one of the main reasons she had to courage to keep being a better person.

yet she could never bring herself to be with you, to never cross the barrier of just being friends, all because of cartman.

because no matter how hard you loved her, she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone, not even herself. and certainly not you.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ NICHOLE DANIELS fish out of water

you had recently moved to south park and you came from a normal city so experiencing life here, was strange.

and nichole understood you fully well. she had also moved a while back and had trouble getting used to the town by herself.

so nichole decides to befriend you and help you have the best possible experience you can when living in south park.

she introduced you to her all her friends, told you where you should and shouldn't go, who were the trouble makers. you guys spent so much time together trying to create this new life for you that you didn't realize how inseparable the two of you became.

though she couldn't help the stammer in her heart when you smiled and laughed. she loved it all, and she made sure you knew.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ RED McARTHUR sworn off romance

there was never a point where she distinctly knew that red knew she had feelings for you, it was a rather long build.

but when she realizes her feelings it's already too late for herself and you. the damage had been done and you both were smitten.

she tried her hardest to get rid of these feelings, she really did. but the way you smiled and laughed made her heart clench.

yet, she became persistent, no matter who it was, she just couldn't bring herself to create a romance with someone.

even after you confess your feelings to her she continues to swear off love, even if her heart breaks when you walk away.

#south park x reader #craig tucker x reader #tolkien black x reader #jimmy valmer x reader #tweek tweak x reader #wendy testaburger x reader #bebe stevens x reader #heidi turner x reader #nichole daniels x reader #red mcarthur x reader

[redamoureux]

HiHi! Super excited to see that your requests are open, I love your writing. Could I request headcanons for Medic, Sniper and Scout with an S/O who's a bounty hunter/gunslinger? (Maybe the s/o seems a little distant since their scared of forming attachments?) Totally understand if you don't write this! Thanks in advance if you do.

General Red/Blu Medic, Sniper, Scout headcanons

↳ content warning: slight angst, mentions of past betrayal/relationships, ooc(?)

• genre: romantic

Medic

Medic thinks that you're.. terrifyingly amazing.

One of the things he likes about you is how well you used your weapon during battlefield and having decent combat skills. Though he's amazed, he can't help but feel a little threatened by your past occupation. That you used to worked as a bounty hunter.

Well to be precise, he isn't exactly sure if you still took up to that job during your free time but it scares him abit nonetheless. Because back when he hadn't work for Mann Co yet, he used do some malpractice schemes (he still does) which later on sets several bounties on his head.

At some point, he even suspects that you'd kill him because someone contacts you to do so or something. But he'll get over his small paranoia shortly after some reassurance from you. Plus you always looked out for him too in the battlefield! It's honestly a nice small change for him.

So, he's pretty alright with a darling who's a bounty hunter, just please don't joke/pretend that you're going kill him in someone's favor. He's probably going to feel betrayed and panic.

Sniper

Finally a worthy opponent!

In all seriousness, he finds the fact that you used to work as a bounty hunter quite intriguing. He also likes the way you swing your gun and your aim is pretty good.

And for once, he's actually the one who approachs you. At first the talk may ended shortly due to your hesitancy which made sniper feel awkward and bit stupid for asking. Though if you did talk more to him he's even more delighted to hear more of your stories.

After Sniper hears a few of your past experiences he totally understands your doubts, it's not easy working in this kind of job where betrayals and literal backstabbing is a certain thing and always lurking.

Sniper also enjoys when you engage him in some sort of competetion involving his hunting skills. It's one of his favorite way of bonding

Maybe you can learn a trick or two from each other aswell.

Scout

Honestly Scout just thinks it's sort of annoying at first glance?

He thinks it's more a hobby of yours rather than an actual job so he might think you're showing off or something akin to that, especially with your cold persona towards the others.

He might even compete with you during battle even if you didn't even ask for it-

You might be annoyed that he's always there to steal your kill yet, weirdly you also found it amusing that he likes to be busy monologuing of how "awesome and better his skills are" before you shoot down an enemy just behind him. His yelp and the look on his face thinking you were about to aim at him made you laugh.

Soon enough you two would drink soda together and throw jokes at each other when passing.

Will get flirty during these times and sometimes even gets flustered when you flirt back your own way.

REBLOGS/ FEEDBACK/ COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED!

@redamoureux

#team fortress 2 x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 imagines #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 sniper #tf2 medic #tf2 scout

[minjoonalist]

Alexithymia. | JJK +18 [2 of 3]

Pairing: Demon!Jungkook x Reader 

Rating: Mature +18

Genre: Angst, Smut, SoulmatesAU

Word count: 15.8k

Description: Jungkook always had a pull to you. An unexplainable connection that brings him to your side daily, like a permanent routine.  Is it a hobby? An obsession? Or was the centuries old prince just bored? No… boredom doesn’t make his heart race. It’s not supposed to make him lose his own self control, or fill him with blinding rage, and it certainly isn’t supposed to have him hallucinating the strangest things until it drives him back home for answers. Maybe he just cares too much for you and he thought that it’d be better to wait than to give in, but the longer the prince of darkness spends his time away, the more he realizes he has absolutely no Idea what emotions have been festering since the very beginning. What if he could just turn them off? 

Warnings: Cursing, explicit language, mentions of blood, black blood, mentions of killing, priceless object is broken, sadistic friends, slight back stabbing (metaphorical) but its out of good?? intent, lots of sexual tension, mentions of suicide, heavy make out, eventual smut.

Song Inspo: Pretty- The Weeknd, Waves- Normani, Softcore- The Neighbourhood, Middle Of The Night- Elley Duhe

Author’s note:  This is a mini series of three parts due to the high word count lol Also In no way am I an expert on demons, all of this is from the top of my head or made up honestly. It’s more of an angsty self-indulgent plot to write demon JK for (several months) so please enjoy and if you want leave your thoughts on it as well! :)

Masterlist | 1 2 3

II. Emotional Deficit

“Welcome back.” 

He hates that he’s hearing those words. It’s irritating at most but still, Jungkook couldn’t be happier when they’re coming from the two people he needed to see at this moment.

Sitting within their private room for the first time in years, he finds himself residing in the dual leather seats of their luxurious common space. The area itself was darker than he remembered of the two, the atmosphere closing in the second you found yourself there but somehow still inviting enough that you didn’t want to leave. They clearly changed a lot over the time he hadn’t been around.

 It's funny how much effort went into making it this way when the owners hate to have company. Jungkook thinks to himself as he shifts to get him comfortable within his tense position. Honestly, his back was still killing him and he felt as if he was running out of breath more often.

He’s really a dumbass for fighting Yoongi.

Jungkook suddenly clears his throat as he thinks about that-staring at the hard wood floors where his boots lay before he glances at the blood red hair falling messily around one of the judging couple’s heads.

 “Hi Jimin and…-Hobi Hyung.” Jungkook’s awkwardness shows through his uncomfortable stature, temporarily looking elsewhere to hide his slight embarrassment.

His body is stiff and frozen like ice while two pairs of naturally alluring eyes stare him down within the secluded room. It made him feel even more on edge than before, itching to go back to your apartment where he hopes you’re sleeping safely.

Right, Jungkook felt even more embarrassed, thinking about you…

He couldn’t believe how much of a coward he was when he left you standing there before, but sadly the reason he was here couldn’t be ignored if he’s going to be able to stand in the same room as you again. 

Unsurprisingly, the man had given up, showing up to those that could possibly understand the foreign emotions that were tearing him apart. Not only that but he refused to give Yoongi any satisfaction in knowing he was somewhat right, probably predicting that the youngest would make his way back home at some point. 

Jungkook clearly didn’t notice it for himself, but then again he didn’t notice a lot of his behavior that was gradually building up over the years.

Hoseok, after giving Jungkook a once over, arches a thick brow and runs a slender hand through his tapered jet black hair before he adjusts his black shirt. His legs then cross within his slacks putting on a professional position as he leans back within a leather chair in his common room. It was strange how serious he looked, completely opposite of his joyous nature, so Jungkook knew a topic like this had to be as important to his brother as it was to himself. 

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was in for, but if it meant getting back to you faster he’s willing to put up with it. Not only that, but putting an end to this torture that was plaguing his body and mind at the moment.

He can still feel what he was feeling before…it hasn’t gone away. 

Jungkook then swallows, feeling on edge as he watches Jimin come within his casual attire to sit comfortably on the King’s lap, looking and acting as any normal couple would. 

Like how he wishes you could. He’s envious.

“I was told by Yoongi you left home to go see your girlfriend. Change of plans?” Hoseok begins after receiving a sweet peck from his lover. This causes Jungkook to frown not just in jealousy but from the title he’d given you so carelessly. 

Hoseok must have picked up on one of Yoongi's bad habits because Jungkook then rolls his eyes and curses the man mentally for spreading that private information. “I only wanted to check on her and she’s not my girlfriend.” 

“Yoongi said you’d say that.” Jimin suddenly chimes in, laughing softly and causing Hoseok to let out an easy chuckle. “—He also told us you were in deep denial. The both of you apparently are…”

Hoseok then shrugs with a smug smile.  “They’re the perfect example of an alexithymic bond, according to him.” 

“Kind of reminds you of a certain someone, huh?” Jimin cackles under his breath and Hoseok immediately tenses back up, a look of slight embarrassment behind his eyes as he chooses to focus back on the youngest.

Meanwhile, Jungkook stares irritably like a child, realizing, first he would need to talk with Yoongi again and set a few things straight about sharing his personal life and second, that watching two of his other friends find humor in his situation definitely wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Are you done?” He scowls and huffs when Jimin motions him to speak. “Look, I didn’t believe Hyung when we talked earlier. I couldn’t think about anything else when I planned to stay with her. I thought at the time I could control myself, my emotions,  but I think they may be too out of reach. He told me I could come to you and that you knew how to fix this.” Jungkook finishes with a lingering sincerity in his words that causes a sorrowful atmosphere in the room.

Hoseok definitely understands this pain.

The man nods in thought. “True, if anyone knows how far it can affect you, he was right when he suggested you come to me…multiple times.” Hoseok emphasizes the last part and watches Jungkook’s eyes shift elsewhere, feigning innocence. “Though, I will say that doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll tell you what you want to hear. What you feel might help, might not be what you think it is.” 

Jungkook couldn’t care less, he just needed this to stop. It's truly terrifying how secure he felt of himself before he saw you today and now he could say the exact opposite. “That's fine, Yoongi already told me about the bond and that it's screwing with me mentally. So I was curious, can it mess with what I’m feeling as well?” . 

Jungkook figured he’d run the risk of another hallucination with you, but not the aggressive emotions that came to him after being near instead. He would have never guessed that the rarest of these situations would end up as you somewhat bonded to him. 

“...Well, yes.” Hoseok stares at Jungkook to study him. “We’re not truly meant to have emotions, but once you complete the bond they should settle down.” He concludes as if it were that simple for Jungkook, truthfully it isn’t. If it were, he wouldn’t be here talking to them, he’d have you wrapped in his arms hoping you’d reciprocate what he’s feeling. 

Hoseok knows that.

“It's beyond that, Hyung. When I got near her..I felt something strange.” He inhales deeply, thinking back to the moment he’d seen you in front of your bedroom door. Whatever that weird feeling he had, it wasn’t nice and that only reminded him that there’s nothing about him that is. The horrifying image that began to form in his mind and started off so loving, could that be the trigger Yoongi had mentioned earlier? Was Jungkook truly becoming part of his worst self? 

Hoseok’s brows raise in curiosity, clearly probing to see where Jungkook was going with this. “Well of course, it's only natural to feel eager. Part of completing the bond will require you both to feel that urge.”

Jungkook frowns, until Hoseok’s words truly hit him and he then waves his inky hand out. “Hyung no…not like that. This wasn’t sexual-or it was?… I don’t know, it felt like I really wanted to hurt her.” Jungkook's eyes seemed to look a little lost as he tried to place it all together. “And it wasn’t out of anger or fear. For a second, it was like a sick combination of wanting to kiss her and then ripping her apart at the same time. I guess that’s what Yoongi was trying to warn me about.” 

“I-… don’t think you’ve ever felt that with me.” Jimin says looking down towards his pondering lover.

“It was more confusion and misdirected anger for myself…so not exactly.” Hoseok mumbles with a frown, but they don’t seem as alarmed as Jungkook thought they would be. 

Hoseok then  taps his fingers against the arm of the chair, having both Jungkook and Jimin look at him in anticipation. “She is human, right Jungkook? You had to have wanted this more than just one time. After all…we do feed on their souls every now and then. It sounds like you wanted to devour her.”

Jungkook is aware, but that didn’t stop him from hanging his head in acknowledgment. “I know, but I can usually ignore that with her and it's not like I have it often. Now it's just clawing at my insides, I-I don't know what else to do.” Jungkook looks up from his feet and meets them with sorrowful eyes. “I’ll die before I do that to her.” 

Jimin’s eyes drop from his last statement but he quickly recovers with a sweet smile. “Although I've never seen us harbor so much for one human, it's cute to see how much you care for her.” He says while clearly having an internal battle, which makes Jungkook cringe in embarrassment.

“I don’t think, wanting to eat her soul could be categorized as cute, right now.” He replies to Jimin. “Actually, nothing about our connection has been right. My hallucinations have only proven that.”

Hallucinations? Hoseok’s ears perk up.

“Jungkook–” Hoseok suddenly calls him in a serious manner. “I want to say that I understand where you’re coming from in this, but truthfully, I’m not happy to admit that there's ever been a point in time that I didn't see humans as a way to sustain life. However, I do understand the emotions inside of you right now and can definitely recommend that you’ve reached a breaking point within your connection to her.”

“So what does that mean? You’re saying it's too late? Can't anything be done?” Jungkook tries openly, but the way his stomach turns after hearing that is really solidifying his dilemma.

“I know you’re aware of what happened to Jimin and I when we were suddenly bonded to each other and we were always working together side by side. I won’t go into too much detail. However, you should know that Hallucinations were one of the last things I had begun to experience and each one had become more vivid and haunting than the last. Sometimes I’d even blacked out for hours until Jimin found me in one and...” Hoseok stops, swallowing before he glances towards the small scar above Jimin’s eyelid. Anyone could see the immediate regret on Hoseok’s face, including the lover in question himself. 

Jimin sends him a sad smile, but Jungkook could tell it was meant to reassure Hoseok, not pity him.

Jimin then screws his lips up together, taking over for Hoseok’s silence. “I think what he’s saying is. It's not common for anyone within our bloodline to grow an intimate attachment to anyone outside of here. Especially not to a human. So we can’t guarantee anything.” He says before looking at Hoseok apprehensively “However, there are other options and one you should consider before you actually end up hurting her- whether you meant to or not. You’ve already moved into a hostile state and by the looks of it, you’re lucky enough to have pulled yourself out. You can’t go back to her without our help.”

Jungkook straightens up at the mention of another option, but his chest stings at the thought of never seeing you again. “So there is something you can do? ” He asks, his eyes lighting up like a child’s on christmas morning. Both Hoseok and Jimin go warm at the younger’s expression, but it didn’t stop the massive amount of guilt for how they were about to crush it. 

They already know it isn’t going to be that easy.

“Yes…two actually.” Hoseok clears his throat with uncertainty and Jimin squeezes his lover’s hand with comfort. It was as if he knew exactly what the elder was thinking.  

Actually Jimin does know what Hoseok could be thinking… “It’s okay Hobi.”

“So- what is it?” Jungkook then falters, a deep dread filling his heart when he sees their body language shift. 

How could it possibly be worse than what they’ve already told him? 

Hoseok sighs. “It’s possible that in your case, your body is somehow mixing both forms of your infatuation with her. Drawn in by her soul and the connection that the bond has created for both of you. Judging from what Yoongi told me, your emotions are everywhere obviously, so even you can’t tell when you’re not thinking straight- which unfortunately has left you at a very unstable stage that you can’t fix unless you complete the bond… or break it.” 

Jungkook doesn’t say anything when Hoseok stops to let it sink in. He only stares before he says something that just might set Jungkook off. “How do you break it? Glad you asked. Well the only way possible to break your bond would be if one of you dies and clearly you killing her won’t be an option, so we could just throw that one out the window. Since you’ve willingly expressed killing yourself before it comes to that.” 

Jungkook blinks to control his sudden rage at the suggestion, he couldn’t even let the idea cross his mind for that to happen. But how could an option like this help him in any kind of way?

“Hyung, what exactly is the point of telling me that?” He grits his teeth. 

Hoseok shrugs, clearly showing how much he couldn’t care if that offended Jungkook or not.  “It’s better you know everything than me skipping on the details. The more you know, the easier it is to explain how serious this situation is not only for you but the girl as well. I don’t need anyone coming to me later on, because I half-assed on the information of how our bonds work. Now as I was saying, the real option here will actually be a lot harder than contemplating the other. It's the route I took and…it had a price to pay.” 

“One hell of a price.” Jimin suddenly grumbles bitterly, grabbing both of their attention and Jungkook’s curiosity. 

“Don’t exaggerate, it wasn’t that awful.” Hoseok warns sternly.

Jimin huffs in annoyance. “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who had to deal with you while you were in that state. I held a lot of patience with you Jung Hoseok…and a lot of energy.” 

“...What is he talking about?” Jungkook’s eyes widened from Jimin’s sudden confession.

Hoseok’s mouth opens but it's cut short and Jungkook really wishes the guy would just get the hell on with it. Seeing his impatience, Hoseok then sits forward with a look that's sending chills over Jungkook’s body. 

“We think it would be best to shut off your emotions.” He finally says and waits patiently for Jungkook’s reaction. Which after a much awaited silence, Isn’t the one he was expecting.

“What—?” The couple watches shocked as the tension leaves his face. They take a glance at each other. “You start off with death and end with that?” Jungkook suddenly chuckles while sitting back within the chair as relief floods him. He exhales and might as well have laughed in their faces, which technically he is. It definitely explains the reason their gazes have turned into daggers towards him. 

“You could have at least pretended to take that seriously.” Hoseok says while rolling his eyes at Jungkook. 

 Abruptly, Jimin’s sassiness had surfaced again while seeing the amusement with the younger’s eyes. “What exactly is so funny about this?” He asks completely straight faced, quite frankly a little disappointed in how light Jungkook was taking this. Yoongi was right when he said that Jungkook hasn’t been himself. At a time like this, they’d taught him better to understand these situations. 

The raven haired man in question pauses “What? Turning off my emotions? I’m not a doll, I don't have an on and off button for what I feel. I thought I was going to have to do some fucked up blood ritual or something.” 

“No, but you almost splattered your girlfriend’s blood over her apartment walls. Therefore, I don’t think you have the luxury to laugh this off.” Jimin seethes within Hoseoks lap. “Maybe that could be the ritual you’re looking for.” Jimin then clips at Jungkook and he flinches from the harsh words.

Hoseok himself then moves his hand from Jimin’s hip and rubs soothingly towards the bottom of his back, comforting him the same way the other had done for him earlier. He then takes his chance to control the narrative once again. “What Jimin is trying to say, Kook, is that as I mentioned before- with us, there is no need for our emotions. We live, breathe and exist solely to keep order which honestly should be the only objective within our life span. Like we said, mating to humans or anyone else outside of us is uncommon and that's due to the high unlikelihood of a connection in the first place, plus the past members before us who have refused to complete their bond with them. So to say, Almost, if not all of them had broken those bonds as rare as it is. To go through with it, they learned to numb themselves from the emotional toll it takes.” He explained, and the longer he went, the slower he said them to the kid. 

Jungkook could feel this conversation making more sense, however he doesn’t like where his mind is getting to in the conclusion. He swallows knowing he should wait for Hoseok to explain, but he couldn’t help himself. “Are you telling me…they took away their emotions and killed their other half?”

Hoseok sighs. “Unfortunately, yes.” 

“Thats fucking stupid.” Jungkook exclaims. 

“Hey, It’s not stupid when you’re putting both of your lives in danger. Then again you don’t seem to give a shit about yours in the first place. So it’s not surprising that you can’t see the reasons behind it. ” Jimin speaks cautiously, but even then those weren’t a good choice of words.

 Hoseok tries to diffuse the conversation, but it's too late.“Jimin don’t–”

“So they decided their lives were worth more than the other? Her life is just as important as mine and despite what you think, I do care. Just not for a lifetime without her.” Jungkook’s nostrils flare as his chest rises harder and Both of the demons across from him are suddenly on high alert as they gauge his unstable temper. 

The last thing Hoseok wanted was for this situation to end  up just like Jungkook’s earlier encounter with Yoongi. It can be tricky trying to talk someone down who's only being driven by the slightest change of what they’re feeling.  

Hoseok then shoots a quick glare at the red head. Do not set him off…

He then clears his throat to gain their attention. “Calm down and stop pissing each other off. I swear sometimes I think you guys overestimate how my patience works.”

Jungkook can hear Hoseok say this through his deafening anger, nothing but the sound of his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he takes deeper breaths to do what his friend asks.

“However, Jungkook, know we are completely aware of the fact that you don’t want her to die and there is a way around that outcome. You can still choose the option of numbing yourself without killing her. In fact it’s to make sure that you’re stable enough to prevent your emotions from continuing their war with your mind. Otherwise we would have just told you to do it in the first place.” 

“Might as well have. The first thing you told me was that I had the option of killing her or myself. instead of just saying ‘hey, maybe if you shut off your emotions you can actually save yourselves’. ” He scoffs at them both and Jungkook could still feel the glare radiating from Jimin. “Could you imagine if I’d gone with the first option and decided to kill her anyway? Would you have stopped me?” 

Hoseok and Jimin stare silently at Jungkook, stunned into silence from his odd behavior. Hoseok doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jungkook this riled up, but it is a great question if he was being honest with himself.

 Would he have cared enough to stop Jungkook? 

“…I wouldn’t.”

 That answer suddenly shakes Jungkook to his very core, a prickling of goosebumps falling over his skin. 

“You are what's important and interesting about her life. Lets not pretend otherwise.” He then hears.

Someone who wasn’t in this room before had spoken up from behind Jungkook and Just like him, both Jimin and Hoseok's eyes widen as they stare right behind him. He couldn’t tell at first but the moment that overwhelming power had hit him and the couple- he knew very well who was there to greet him.

 He swore he was having the worst luck ever...

“Jin, always making an unforgettable entrance. I thought we asked that you at least give us a warning before coming here.” Hoseok sighs but it was clear he was too drained to be irritated with the elder’s intrusion.

“Though that doesn’t change the fact that you are here...what do you want?”  Jimin asks clearly, holding enough emotion for both.

“I was told our famous troublemaker made his way back, I thought I’d drop in to give him a welcome. Since apparently no one else is capable of communication.” Seokjin announces clapping a hand on the man's shoulder with a sly smile stretching across his face.  

The younger frowns skeptically.  It was odd, Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing him within his ‘Human’ form. So it surprised him when the platinum blonde look of his friend is who he’s met with on his side grinning like an idiot. Not only that but he had on the kind of all black suit only a CEO of his own company would wear. Meaning the man clearly had more important matters to attend yet he’s popping in at a time like this. 

Jungkook doesn’t trust it.

“He hasn’t been here for more than an hour. How could you possibly know?” Jimin frowns with astonishment while also looking over to Jungkook.

“He shouldn’t be able to…” Hoseok adds on.

“Why...Yoongi told me, of course. I always know what's going on with all of you, even down to that poor girl, Jungkook likes so much.” Jin beams with a handsome smile towards the three. It was one that made Jungkook uneasy, especially not after hearing what Jin had to say about you.  

Honestly, He loved the man, but his eldest friend definitely never knew when to shut the hell up about something he didn’t know and everyone knew it was only his status and ego to blame. Sometimes he wondered how Seokjin came to be at that level of power in the first place. 

Jungkook however couldn’t help when his fists balled up in his lap, staring head on at his friends. He then shoots his eyes sharply towards the king beside him. “You know nothing about her.” 

Jin grins while tilting his head in a taunting manner. “Now what makes you think that?” He asks, with an unwavering gaze. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I wouldn’t be interested in the reasons you’ve been away from home. That includes whoever is holding your attention at the moment.” The implication sends a chill down Jungkook’s spine when he sees the mischief behind his friend’s black eyes.

He knew Seokjin’s sudden appearance wouldn’t be good.

“Have you been watching her? You wouldn’t…” Jungkook asks, fear laced within his voice. He may not like what he has to say, but if that's true and Seokjin really has taken time out of his day to go see you then there's no doubt there's some truth to his words. 

“No…I’ve been watching you and her.” Seokjin answers, but then a thoughtful look makes its way to the elder. “I also remember having a fairly entertaining conversation with Y/n not too long ago. She really misses you Jungkook and I have to say I’m a little disappointed in the way you’ve left her by herself. You never know who may try to get to her…” 

Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief, hoping none of this is true. “You spoke with her?” 

“Yes, many times actually. We’re pretty close I’d say.” Jin grins down at him with pride in his chest.

Jungkook’s eye twitches and it feels as if his world is beginning to crumble beneath him. “You’re lying, if you did I’d know.”

“Well of course you wouldn’t and neither would she. Every conversation I’ve ever had with her is buried deep in the back of that simple mind, she wouldn’t know who I am unless she sees my face. I got so bored of you not noticing that I left you a hint, remember?” Jin goes to sit on the spare couch beside all of them, shrugging as he puts his feet up on the expensive looking decor of Jimin and Hoseok coffee table. 

Jimin huffs in annoyance, but Jungkook knows the man can only bite his tongue. 

“You didn’t think we weren’t going to keep tabs on you while you were away did you? Why else do you think Yoongi agreed to help you so easily?” He laughs as if this was such a light hearted matter.

A hint…? Jungkook tries hard to rack his brain for whatever Jin could have left behind but nothing comes to him. When he saw you earlier nothing seemed to be off about you, in-fact you looked perfectly fine aside from the broken gaze that you unknowingly gave him when you realized you wouldn’t see him once again. That was to be expected, he’d tainted that hope in a matter of seconds, but it was only because he knew he couldn’t stay there with you. Not with everything that had happened before, his fight with Yoongi, his anger, and Hallucinations…

That image of him pulling you into his arms and holding you close for dear life. You looked shocked at first but eventually your beautiful smile rose on your face as your heart fluttered from your excitement. Jungkook focused so much on that small detail- mouth salivating the second he senses the purity lying with you. It was such a wholesome feeling- you and him. How happy the both of you were, but the thought of ripping that purity from you certainly wasn’t. 

Jungkook’s blood suddenly runs cold when he remembers vividly what was so out of place. The reason he nearly went insane while thinking of you and another-what was setting him off in the beginning.

“You marked her with your scent…just so you could piss me off?” Jungkook’s anger was piling on dangerously from the new information, a slight pain in his stomach from realizing how Yoongi may have been lying to him this entire time. 

Did he smell Jin too? That could explain why he was trying so hard to get him to leave.

Seokjin shrugs. “Did I? Oops…”

Jimin’s face turns down and he looks over toward Jungkook with sympathy. “Jin, you’ve overdone it.”

Jungkook knew something was off…He wasn’t going insane after all. “Are you fucking kidding me? Couldn’t you have respected my privacy? I’m not some goddamn child and it’s getting pretty old how often everyone is treating me like one. Nothing about this is okay.” He sneers, now wondering if Jin is the reason he couldn’t get to you this whole time. 

Hoseok shifts uncomfortably from the elder’s demeanor, after listening for a while. “While I personally don’t agree with Jin’s actions. You aren’t doing that great of a Job at proving us otherwise, Jungkook. Despite what you think, we do care if something happens to you.”

“This is your way of showing you care?” Jungkook replies immediately, but then something hits him. “-wait what do you mean we? Did all of you know about this?” He then asks and knowing the answer it was only going to make things worse.

The couple once again shares a look and this time they look to Seokjin as well, clearly having an inside secret that Jungkook didn’t know about. He waits for one of them to say something, but all he’s met with is a deep uncomfortable silence that only had him seeing pitch black once again. 

“You’ve got to be shitting me?” He almost growls when the heat in his voice takes over. Before he knew it, the demon was triggering a lethal state within the room, it was like finally watching a child throw a tantrum. Once again, that itch inside him was burning and he just really wanted to hurt something.

From where he’s sitting, Jungkook can see how Hoseok’s eyes had shifted as well- all whites going completely pitch black as the dark veins around his face came in under his control. It's just a safety caution, one that usually any of them always had to activate between the seven of their personalities over time. 

It's also what Yoongi used to protect himself earlier, Hoseok’s essence slowly seeping out to match Jungkook’s rising mana. 

“Jungkook calm down, If it pisses you off that much- there's a lot of talk of seeing you around with a human girl regardless. There's no avoiding it. Think about it, you have plenty of enemies, we all do. Did it ever occur to you how she hasn’t become a target from your recklessness? did you really think you were protecting her enough.” Jin raises a brow himself, watching just as on edge as Hoseok was. 

Jungkook knew it had to be because of how out of character it is for him, but those words only egged him on. Everything was spiking and he couldn’t stop it, passing over Hoseok and Jimin to glare daggers towards the eldest king. 

 “Don’t tell me about putting her at risk…You went behind my back to go see her. How about if I go around poking in your affairs?” He huffs aggressively.

“—Then you’d be an idiot, asking for death.” Seokjin simply answers. “We only discuss the important matters of your relationship and yes unfortunately that includes watching your screwed behavior. We had to be sure.”

“And Y/n? What did you talk about with her?” Jungkook suddenly rises from his seat and towers towards Jin.  

“Nothing you need to worry about. I simply wanted to meet her myself. I wasn’t there longer than 5 minutes, you can ask Yoongi if you need that assurance.” The man stares up at him with a blank expression, but never loses interest in Jungkook’s foreseeable burst of anger. It only pissed him off more to see how unbothered he was. 

Did his eldest friend really not care for his feelings towards this? Or was he just saying all this because he knew it would piss Jungkook off? Little did he know, there was always a method to the eldest actions.

Just what exactly is he playing at? 

Jungkook shakes his head, looking around the room. “If it was so important to lie to me, you could have done something. Or does everyone want to sit around and laugh? Does that make you feel better? Me admitting it out loud for your amusement. I had my head so far up my ass, I couldn’t tell my own friends were lying to my face. Well, as I already told Yoongi, you all can fuck off.” 

He didn't get it, He knew what Jin said was right. Jungkook was careless, too busy thinking about when was the next time he would see you- when he wasn’t even sure there would ever be a next time. It was too much at once, realizing how much he endangered you, but also how much Seokjin would actually be right. 

How everyone was right and he was too blinded to see what's been festering for years. How long has Jungkook been in the dark about himself? When did he start sweeping it all under the rug?

It made the blood in his veins boil from his stupidity. He felt like breathing fire just for that epiphany and so when he felt it overflowing- The bond, his emotions, his selfishness and how much he missed you, he’d abruptly lifted a fist and landed a perfect blow onto the mini table between everyone. A booming crack erupts within the space, causing the duo to be unsettled. The force violently shatters the entire object into pieces, knocking Seokjin’s feet to the floor and before he could realize it, Jungkook’s temper had taken a hold of him. It catches everyone including himself by surprise, sparking another very long silence between the group. 

After a while, Jimin was the first to speak, his fiery eyes glaring at the shattered table in front of him. He then shifts in Hoseok’s lap- taking a deep breath to calm his own temper. “Okay make this a note, no more meetings in our nest.” He says as he pinches the bridge between his nose and ultimately ignoring Jungkook for his benefit. “Actually no more company within our space, this is worse than when Namjoon knocked over that emerald vase.”

Hoseok, on the other hand, looks calm and collected. He stares at Jungkook but instead of rage he only holds sympathy and Hoseok must have known he caught that, doing well to cover his own anger again. “...Don’t get me wrong, if it weren’t for the fact that you have absolutely no control over your emotions- I’d pick each of your bones by one and use them as a replacement table. That was an eight century old piece Namjoon gifted us—” 

“—After he broke our vase.” Jimin deadpans bitterly.  

Hoseok then frowns disapprovingly. “But do you now see why you’ll need to numb your emotions? What if that was your girlfriend instead? You wouldn’t need to worry about the bond or anyone coming after her for that matter, because she would have already died from you.” 

“How many times to I have to say shes not my girlfriend.” Jungkook sighs in defeat. The both of you aren’t together and again he didn’t need to be constantly reminded of himself on the matter.

Jin, who Jungkook had honestly forgotten to be sitting there, scoffs at the notion “Huh, Yoongi said you’d say that.”  He laughs clearly amused and completely unfazed by the kid, but somehow still adding fuel to the dampened fire.

Hoseok then switches his attention to the fellow king “Jin, man, please stop talking. You are the reason he just lost his temper and I don't think Jimin can handle losing another piece of our decor. You did invade his space after all.” He pleads while still consoling a much gloomier lover and Jungkook swallows thickly.

Seokjin huffs, his humor filled smile slowly dropping off when he sees the heavy emotions behind his friend’s face. Suddenly, he then claps his hands together- making a thunderous noise that has Jungkook jerking just a little. 

“Fine, I guess the kid is beginning to learn his lesson.” He starts, demeanor going deathly cold as he faces the youngest.

 Jungkook can’t help but to listen and take him as seriously as he’d put on, watching the way that darkness over takes his eye sockets. And the paleness in between his deepened veins. Its chilling, knowing only Jin was capable of that power.

“From what I heard earlier, you took everything Hoseok was telling you without much consideration. Which only shows me that obviously you’re not grasping the decision you are about to make. Not only that, but how you’ve decided to handle your own mistakes by taking it out on your family when we’re trying to help you fix it. There are times we spoil you, like letting you leave your duties here unattended or not reprimanding you when you’ve clearly lost any control on your own power and we do it because we want you to come into your own maturing. It’s sad that even with this freedom, you’ve caused nothing but trouble and too much attention- which is why I told Yoongi to watch over you since he seemed to be the most worried . Who knew you’d repay him by tearing his arm open in the process.” 

Jimin sighs, seemingly over losing one of his prized pieces. “Jin...it’s fine.” 

“No, it is not.” Seokjin glances at him with a harsh gaze, having the prince fall back into silence. 

Seokjin then goes back to a quiet Jungkook. “You’re lucky it's me here and not Joon, he’d probably take it upon himself to rid you of your connection to her despite you disagreeing. Fortunately, I didn’t tell him everything you’ve been doing, he only knows about Y/n and that you’ve definitely taken a liking to her. Maybe, we can keep it that way, but first you need to clean up your mess. Listen to Hoseok and turn off those damn emotions, before you end up killing Y/n and yourself.” 

“I-” Jungkook wants to defend himself, but when he thought about it...was there actually any point?

 He’s wrong and he knows it, plus the prince knows just how lenient they’ve been with him. He was fortunate to be where he is, he could have been at the bottom ranks- a no name slaving away for the rest of eternity...he would have never met you.  “Yes, Hyung. I’m sorry.” 

 “Stop apologizing, those are only words. We didn’t bring you here to watch you disappoint us, nor would we ever want you to fail.” Jin watches as Jungkook’s pride leaves his expression and sees the resolve in him instead. 

Meanwhile Hoseok looks at him and Seokjin, they both nod in confirmation- giving him the go ahead to continue on with Jungkook. He just didn’t know if this would be something Jungkook is capable of handling once it's done. “ I can help you turn them off Kook...however, turning them back on won't be easy. You might not even want to, it's up to you whether you complete your connection to her or break it. Do you think you’re up for that?”

“You can’t undo it by yourself, that's for sure. They’d gradually have to come back, either over time or I guess if something really special happens. There's no true way to tell how your relationship will continue with her.”  Jimin looks to him as well, everyone’s eyes falling on the poor prince and awaiting his answer as he thinks hard about it.

What other choice did he have?

Jungkook nods in understanding, the image of you and your smile coming to him and it hurts to know that at some point- that may no longer have his heart skipping like it is at this moment. Still, he’d rather have you and make you happy while he felt nothing - than to not have you at all. So once again his mind was made up he didn’t need another second to begin his transition. 

“Okay, let's do it..”

Hoseok nods.

He then stands from his seat, bracing himself as if he was going to go to war and both of the couple follow. Jimin gets up first and then Hoseok, standing apart and Jungkook waits when he sees the king rolling up the sleeves of his button down and how Jimin begins to move the furniture back. The broken table shards, the chairs, even the couch Seokjin had been lounging on.  

Jungkook is suddenly nervous from the strange preparations. 

“Wait, how exactly are you going to help me—?” He couldn’t get the rest out. Hoseok signals to someone and it wasn’t long before both of the prince's knees were being kicked in from behind, causing him to drop towards the ground and his arms abruptly being pinned behind his back by an incredibly strong force. 

Jimin stands to the side and Seokjin is nowhere to be found. Which makes Jungkook assume that’s who’s holding him hostage. Meanwhile Hoseok is approaching Jungkook, pitch black eyes staring straight at him as a nasty smirk makes its way on his face. 

“Now, usually you can do this on your own if you have the experience— but since this is your first time we’ll have to do it manually, so this might hurt…-actually no, it will hurt like hell.” He begins just as his calloused hands were grabbing the sides of Jungkook's head and he notices immediately how Jimin cringes in the background- yet he still looks as amused as ever. 

Jungkook then brings his attention back to the man in front of him as a foreboding slithers deep into the pit of his stomach. “Um, Hobi Hyung–”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle…” Hoseok somehow manages to smile comfortingly once he notices the shift in Jungkook.  “—Oh and I definitely won’t be thinking about the priceless decor you’ve just destroyed less than 5 minutes ago. So just relax and try not to swallow your tongue.” He then mentions with no remorse and immediately destroys any kind of comfort the kid might have felt previously. 

Sweat begins rolling down Jungkook’s back and Hoseok then looks up towards the elder holding him down. “Ready?”

“ Let's get this over with, I’m getting bored.” Seokjin sighs in return.

These sadistic assholes…Jungkook thinks to himself.

Hoseok focuses back on him, the black in his veins deepening and pouring through his arms as a smokey black essence begins to seep out and wrap around Jungkook's head like snakes. It’s hot like lava, a searing pain that follows in its path as it slowly inches towards his nose and eyes. 

 He’d say a silent prayer if he actually prayed…Instead he could only release a pained groan from the heat that was begging to enter his head. The essence falls in relentlessly, making Jungkook’s eyes roll back and not long after afterwards does Hoseok notice the dark blood beginning to drip from his nose, seeping from his eyes and ears in the same manner and Jungkook lets out animalistic scream.

He’s got him…

“Okay, let's begin.”

You’re not sure whether you’d slept through most of the night well, but somehow while you were within a deep sleep, you felt an immense amount of pain washing over you within your dreams before leaving you completely numb and floating in an endless void. 

It was strange, how saddened you had been just moments ago after having a weird dream and then waking up instant without any cause. 

Just like that void, darkness is the only thing that engulfs you as you come to. Your senses are suddenly alert to any small thing around you and you’re jolting awake violently with intense heat swirling around in your head. Before it runs throughout your entire body, It then slowly begins to fade and you’re taking in a deep breath when you’re very much aware of the sounds filling your lonesome space.

When you glance in front of your bed, you’re shocked to see thick black boots clunking across your bedroom floor and heading purposefully in your direction. Your first instinct is to immediately panic, heart beat rising in the fear of some unknown intruder breaking into your apartment. But then, as your gaze quickly moves around in the darkness, it then follows up the tall figure striding closer.

 You’re terrified, immediately frozen with fear when you see how familiar it looks to you in the distance, a strange sense of an unknown emotion taking you  by surprise.

They weren’t attacking you, actually you were almost sure they’re doing the exact opposite. The movements are highly familiar and you’re too focused seeing an inked hand reaching towards the bottom half of your legs. In the process, you’re holding your breath and a wary look crosses your face when that same hand goes to grip the sheets you’d kicked off in your sleep. 

Realizing this, you know for a fact that the figure was getting ready to pull them over you- just like it always did when you were too hot to leave them on and this only aided in making you aware of how extremely cold you are at the moment. 

At times like this, you’d be too tired to refuse them letting him tuck you in on his own volition and you’d know you would just see him the next day. 

But this time, you’re wide awake, not knowing if it’s really who you thought him to be and you weren’t willing to wait and see. Without thinking, you shoot up from your position and daringly reach towards the hand you’ve been eying that entire time.

“Jungkook-...” 

You barely let the name leave your mouth as what you thought to be a person freezes. Unfortunately, the second your fingers could feel the object, you were immediately met with the air of your bedroom and the entire image disappears like a mirage. 

Nothing, you were seeing nothing.

 No figure, no black combat boots, none of that beautiful natural ink that snaked up his hand and around his body like an art. Instead your excitement is quickly stunted when you’re suddenly knocked out of your bed from a force that couldn’t be stopped. Your entire body twists and hurdles quickly towards the floor and you’re bracing yourself to hit the ground face first. 

“Huh…-?” You open your eyes, suddenly jolting awake again. After a few seconds of awaiting that inevitable pain, you’re actually surprised to find yourself face planted into one of your pillows on your bed.

What… was that? You thought groggily as your eyes adjusted again, but it wasn’t to the darkness- instead you were being blinded by the light of your bedside lamp. You didn’t remember leaving it on and when you had awakened earlier it was off...right? 

You remembered sleeping and this weird emotion came over you before you were jumping awake to grab for…maybe it was your light? That would explain how it got turned on in the middle of the night. The only problem is, you could have sworn you fell out of your bed when you did. 

You then frown, head fuzzy with confusion as you tried to remember what exactly had just happened. As you moved, you felt more tired than usual, feeling as if a truck had run over your body and you slowly started  to sit up within your position, your throat feeling extremely dry after the past few hours. 

You sigh, turning to your side to look at the alarm clock that said 3:00 in the morning and your face turns down even more before rubbing at your eyes. How is that possible? You could have sworn that's when you fell asleep and just so you could ease this suspicion, you reach next to the clock to grab your phone, finding it to still be 3:00 am completely un-moving as well.

Strange.

 Wondering to yourself how time hasn’t changed since you’ve been sitting there, you swallow slowly and attempt to get your thoughts together. It’s all too eerie for you and you couldn’t let yourself sit still for much longer, finally moving from your bed. 

 “It’s fine, you’re fine.” You grumble to yourself as you stand.

It’s times like this where you wish you could call on Jungkook, nervous to be in your own home alone. You never realized how much you’ve also grown to depend on him. Calling out for him whenever you wanted and he’d show up in a blink of an eye. Now no matter how hard you tried, he hasn’t shown and this time you felt like you needed him more than ever.

You stumble across the bedroom’s floor and out into the hall like usual when the atmosphere feels way off, almost spacey in a way. The hairs on the back of your neck are beginning to stand and your body shivers as a chill racks down your spine. You hold yourself once you've begun to walk through.  

You couldn’t explain the dreadful sense that was easing up on you, feeling as if someone was taking the same steps as yours. It’s like they were watching your every move and hiding, while you made your way to the kitchen. 

You huff when you  finally get close and unease fills your chest. It only makes it worse while you are traveling through the dark of your own apartment, unable to see who else may be waiting around within it.

Once you are by the entrance, you notice how warm your back is and you could swear someone is standing right behind you- transferring heat from their body to yours. Quickly, panic had begun to set in and you’re shivering in the freezing temperature, pulling your shirt down a bit more for warmth. A constant anxiety of knowing once you turn around you weren’t going to like what you’re met with in return. 

There’s nothing more terrifying than this as the overwhelming presence is getting closer. Hell, you could swear they were running to you over and over again, but you’re quick to shake that thought.

Maybe all of this is just in your head…

 Before you drive yourself even more crazy, you finally round the corner of your destination and feel on the wall to reach slowly for the light switch. You wanted to do it fast, but that would just ruin the stealth and you didn’t want to trigger whatever it is, but still you couldn’t see a damn thing. So your hand slowly crawls up more as you swallow down your fear and when you are close enough to feel the block shaped switch on the wall, you’re closing your eyes and taking a deep breath for bravery before you flick it upwards and a bright light gives you a clearer look into the housing—

Everything…is truly in your head and you need help.

You release the breath you were holding, looking back to see your living room in its neat and peaceful state. No one is there and neither is anyone else when you glance down the hallway from where you came. No axe murderers or night creatures stalking your movement- just you. 

You then laugh out incredulously, almost like a fooled mad woman and relief floods you after finally coming to the conclusion that you were actually alone. You make sure to calm yourself, running your hand over your hair and somehow managing to get it through this time without the knots. 

As if you aren’t stressed enough, working like crazy and having the biggest meltdown over your  friend, while also realizing your feelings for him. You’re probably going to have to consider psychological therapy, after clearly making up scary scenarios in your head.

 Tension starts leaving you little by little, but you’re so choked up from a drier throat- it suddenly has you padding over to one of your cabinets so you could grab a glass from the lower shelf.  You then head over to your fridge before reaching into it to grab the water jug, filling your glass in complete silence. 

It feels like nothing but that could help and as parched as you are, you’re  more than willing to take your first big swallow to soothe the dryness altogether along with your anxiety. The cool water goes down and you hum in appreciation, sighing in content before pulling the glass up against your lips, the only problem this time seems to be that you still don’t feel completely alone.  

Pausing altogether, that dreadful emotion makes its way back to you. Actually, before you could even think about taking your next sip of water- you were sure that you heard steady footsteps clunking from your side. 

Fear shakes you to your very core and before you could react, you’re looking towards the source only to see nothing, but clearly hearing them as they step around. Your heart is beating rapidly, so much you might as well have been put into the hospital from an unhealthy pace. —Abruptly, with a pitiful whimper you could feel your blood run cold and two arms are emerging from behind you, coming to wrap around your waist as a way of hugging you snugly from behind. Your throat wants to close up- the hairs on your body standing to alert because there was definitely someone’s breath falling heavily down the back of your neck. Steadily, not ragged as if they felt no kind of adrenaline or worse they’d been perfectly calm watching you this entire time.

Kind of like a natural predator.

Normal people would have screamed, moved- do anything other than releasing the fragile glass within their hand and letting it drop eventfully to the floor. You obviously weren’t within that category, stuck in place until you had the strong scent of mint hitting your nose.

 Only then did you feel like crumbling onto the ground.

  “When did you become a sleepwalker? You hate walking in the dark.” A deep but soft voice chimes from behind you. The melody immediately reminds you of your friend and you're taken back by the way your body is instantly covered in that similar wash of heat.

You slowly reply. “With good reason when you’re sneaking around my apartment.”

Jungkook tenses behind you from the reaction and leans down to place his chin on your shoulder, a simple chuckle rattling in his chest and vibrating on your back. “Technically I’m not sneaking if I let you hear my footsteps.” 

“Same, difference. I thought you were someone waiting to kill me.” You say rolling your eyes, but it was clearly all a front. 

His chest rises on your back. “Well you’d make it way too easy, stumbling clumsily. You weren’t exactly subtle and I definitely had plenty of tempting opportunities.” 

“Oh…” As much as you try to calm yourself, you are still in the aftershocks of your fear. 

“...Hey-…I’m kidding.” Jungkook then adds from your silence, but feels your body is shaking in his hold, trembling under his arms and weak as ever.  

He wonders if it could have been from you only wearing an oversized t-shirt in your deathly cold apartment or if you simply couldn’t handle the way he had himself wrapped around you for a surprise. He’s studying you, inhaling your scent when it hits him and he’s intrigued when his heartbeat still speeds up, however no excitement fills his chest-at least not in the way it used to. 

Now, while you are directly in his reach, it's too bad that whatever Hoseok had done to him, he could just barely feel the parts that had him completely enamored with you.

He’s empty, no happiness, or thrill for being around you. He isn’t sad not feeling anything for you either, if anything he’s just really horny and he likes how your touch sends euphoric shocks all around him. It actually reminds him of what Hoseok said earlier, how others before him did this so they could  kill their partners...In some way he can see why. 

There was only slight truth to the temptation, when he said it would have been easy to kill you. He just knows logically, if he did, he’d never forgive himself when the block wears off. To be honest he was actually facing a much different dilemma and that was figuring out a way to ignore the secondary effects. 

 Forcing himself away from the physical pull of you. 

Fortunately, he won’t have to worry too much on that aspect- in fact he’s not worried at all. Jungkook honestly doesn’t know how he was able to be so consumed with you before, but it was certainly clarifying without all those thoughts running around in his head. 

For instance, earlier, Jungkook didn’t realize how boring it was to watch over you- which is something he’s never noticed before. It should be heartbreaking for his lack of reaction. Him, appearing in your room as you slept away peacefully after not seeing you for weeks and he couldn’t be overcome with his joy once he was finally near you again. He wasn’t distracted with his love and excitement of finding you at a good time, though that doesn’t mean he couldn’t feel anything else.

He specifically remembers seeing how you’d kicked all of your covers off while sleeping like usual, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from running over your body and it seems the only thing he could succumb to is his natural instincts. 

He’s considered how he should intervene, afterall it would be the first time you’ve seen him in a while and he didn’t want to just thrust himself back into your life. He could have crawled into bed with you and held you close just to feel something, but he still wasn’t too sure at the time if you were safe. The last time he’d gotten so close he almost allowed the darkest part of him out and thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the problem anymore. Instead, he thought he could at least cover you with your blankets- consistently finding himself to be distracted and pulled to you the more your body was shifting maneuvering to find any kind of warmth.

He could’ve helped with that…wait no- he definitely shouldn't. At least not while he wasn’t not in love with you? It’s only fair.

He found himself wondering what it was you could possibly be dreaming of to have you in so much distress. With nothing else to entertain him- he couldn’t help it...curiousity overtook his thoughts and he wasn’t ready for the images and information he was met with after taking a short look within your head, throwing the man off furthermore into his visit and ultimately messing with his self control.

It was enough to have him thinking, swallowing back his urges and moving across your room to wait. Stupidly, Jungkook was so wrapped up in your thoughts, trying to process your new emotions, he didn’t pay attention to his own movements. A spark of fire suddenly flew throughout his head, causing him to stutter and he stomped forward at the same time your body jolted.

 In the end he only woke you from your sleep when he made too much noise, hearing you call for him out of the blue and shooting up to reach for him with no warning. Once you actually had his wrist in your hand- he froze looking down at your miserable hazy expression and it didn’t feel right the way he wanted to touch you or ravish you...he could feel a part of him scratching from inside- mouth salivating and canines growing longer. He was even thankful you couldn’t see the veins deepening around his pitch black eyes at that moment.

Wasn’t this supposed to help with his control? 

Shit...He thought, pupils dilating and before you knew it, Jungkook made the cautious decision to put you back to sleep, then moving as far away from you as possible.

It wasn’t until time had passed that he planned to visit you again, assuming that it would be better instead of waking you up in the middle of the night, especially after discovering what you’d had been going through while he was gone. Sadly, he still couldn’t resist, Hearing the way your heart beats rapidly in your chest, your waves of fear rolling off of you and beckoning his darkest nature to follow. Before he knew it, Jungkook felt too drawn to you as you entered the kitchen, listening to the whispers of your thoughts calling out for him. It was like the first time he heard it. You were just as scared and lonely, giving up on the reality that he would show and he was trying his best not to be affected by it.  It was actually kind of depressing... If the man hadn’t shown himself just now, you’d probably have given yourself a stroke, or burst into tears sooner than later—because apparently you are now being affected by the bond a lot more than him.

In that moment, he knew the ultimate ways to make it stop, fulfill the bond or break it. Jungkook was conflicted, he loves you and he knows this, even if he currently couldn’t feel it. But still… would this be something you wanted?

Jungkook paced back and forth, hands itching to reach for you and it almost got the better of him, until a sweet smell of almond had them shifting from their angle near the pulsing beat in your neck and wrapping around you- completely giving away his stealth. 

Jungkook inhaled, resisting the arousal forming inside. 

Yeah, he just fucked himself.

“Don’t stress yourself, I’d never let anyone hurt you.” He holds a little tighter hoping to calm your racing heart, but it only makes its beat faster. Oh the irony- considering how he really needs to protect you from himself.

“That's hard to believe when you’ve suddenly gone MIA Kook.” You scoff breathlessly, lowering your gaze to one of the hands around you and seeing the familiar markings all over it. Without thinking, you grab for it, hoping that once you did, you wouldn’t end up realizing you had been dreaming the entire time. Honestly, it was getting hard to tell at this point. “You were gone for a month and I thought you left me alone again.” 

He shifts uncomfortably, frowning in thought about how he’d been blocked from seeing you—which, he later learned may be due to the meddling of his brothers.

 He wished he could be pissed, having Seokjin conveniently reveal to him after Hoseok took his emotions temporarily. Apparently, it was their way of testing out their theory about his relationship with you, your bond to their youngest member. Which is now only proven to be completely true and Jungkook wouldn’t put it past Seokjin to have manipulated the situation as some form of punishment for him.

He was truly cruel when he wanted to be. 

“I-... had business to take care of at home, it just took me longer than usual.” Jungkook lies, but takes a mental note of how he will be speaking with Yoongi once he gets his emotions back.

“A little communication would still have been nice. Plus that doesn’t explain why you decided to pop in and scare the living hell out of me in the middle of the night.” You swallow the thick lump in your throat while trying not to let yourself be overcome with your feelings. It was hard to control how much your hands were actually shaking at that moment, Whether it be from what was left of your fear or just the overall excitement of having your good friend back. 

It's been two weeks and while you are concerned— you’re curious as to why he chose now to talk with you.

He shrugs “To be fair, you told me nothing about you working night shifts this entire week. I’ve tried looking for you every moment I got...” Your eyes widen from the confession, starry orbs filled with curiosity. He sighs, lifting his shoulders “-you were gone right under my nose.”

You’re silent for a moment.“...How did you know that?”

“Know what?” 

“That I was working more shifts?” You clarify in an expectant tone. 

He suddenly stiffens and you’re already sighing in disappointment when you figure it out. This wouldn’t be the first time Jungkook has found out something he shouldn’t know from you.

“Jungkook…” You say his name and he rolls his eyes, thinking he might have made the wrong move telling you that. “We’ve talked about this.”

He holds a little tighter  “I know, I know you hate it when I invade...I just wanted to know where you’ve been.” He continues to lie.

The problem is…why did he feel like he had to? Why is Jungkook putting off the inevitable? You are his soulmate and he will have to tell you that eventually.

“Working and trying not to be worried crazy about you...that would have been my answer if you’d just asked me.” 

“You need to be a little crazy to have someone like me in your life, Angel. Otherwise you’d have never come back, the moment you found me again.” He replies a bit too honestly.

“...Did you just call me crazy?” You finally crack a half smile and step forward out of his embrace.

Jungkook reluctantly lets you go and he hums. “No, I said a little crazy.”

“Yo-...You stalked my life for months and have a personal vendetta against my uniform shirt.” You’re ready to point it out. 

“Anyone would be scarred looking at that hideous outfit they force you to wear.” He rolls his eyes.

“Jungkook, you burned two sets of my work clothes and I almost got fired for that.” You balk in disbelief while he smirks, completely satisfied with himself.

“A small price to pay for salvation.” He immediately replies and you then move, turning around to face him when you recognize those words.

“Did you just quote Thanos?” The question leaves your mouth when a giggle rises in your throat from your friend and before you know it, you’re finally facing him and seeing him for the first time in a while.

Jungkook actually didn't do much, instead looking down towards you and slowly dropping his smile before running his eyes completely over your face. He falters, barely letting you catch on to the way his brows dip in concentration when your eyes meet and he can sense the change in your mind.

 You, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to catch your breath once you stared up at him and slowly went over his whole attire. 

Jungkook, no longer looked like his normal dress code. Sure he’s still wearing his thicker boots, but they weren’t the kind you were used to. He’s dressed way more mature than normal, black loose button up undone by the first three and exposing the top part of his chest, he’s sporting black leather pants fitted to the thicker chords of his thighs and you’re then switching to the matching leather jacket that goes with it.

 It’s...so mouth watering to say the least, but still made your throat run dry once your eyes went from the simple silver chain on his chest and up to his face. Which also brings you to the most surprising change that catches you off guard. It was the fact that he actually changed his hair. No longer was it draped to his shoulders and hung half-way back into a pony-tail but instead to be tapered shallow on the sides and parted into two directions-cropped right to the top of his forehead. The style itself seemed to add years onto him, making you notice the more structured part of his jawline.You even found yourself, noticing the fact that he had a piercing on his right brow or that his markings flowed further up onto his neck than you’ve ever seen before.

Oh... wow… You breathe and your eyes go wide when you realize you’re probably  staring too long. It was impossible to keep yourself from being starstruck. 

Jungkook looked like a completely different man and one who had the confidence of someone nowhere near your level. It was striking to say the least, but also just a little intimidating- especially being that you were only in a huge worn out shirt for night clothes. 

Immediately, you notice how his eyes go lax just a little, his usual black orbs staring straight into you, possibly seeing every sinful emotion you feel just by the first look at him. 

He definitely can and it’s excruciating for him to ignore.

 Jungkook clears his throat, ignoring whatever you’re doing to him. “I know I was born in hell, but you’re looking at me like I actually agree with his ideology...”  He chuckles.

—You quickly stop him and pull yourself together. 

“Kook, no. I... just wasn’t expecting you to look like this.” You say as you shake your head, trying to collect your thoughts, but still finding it hard to adjust to his gaze. For some reason it comes off way more alluring than usual and you have no doubt it was stemming from you suddenly wanting to jump his bones.

Jungkook stares at you a little too hard as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle. He then looks down, thinking about his appearance until it hits him. “Oh! yeah, I guess I’ve never had to show you this persona. I only use it while I’m home and not working.” He tries to explain cautiously.

“You mean, this is what you look like when you’re not here?”  You point out with a nervous tilt to your voice. “-Like a crazy hot dilf?” 

Jungkook frowns in a humorous manner. “Well, I am a prince...I have to look the part to be it. Believe it or not, being royalty there is like being an A-list celeb here, except with an insane amount of fear and respect.” He teases and yet something seems off. Jungkook didn’t seem like the type to care about whether he could impress others or not, he just does.

“Yeah, well not everyone rules over a section on the dark side mister, so we can’t all be hot demon royalty...well actually except for Yoongi...he at least has the attitude down perfectly.” You’re rolling your eyes before crossing your arms, only to land on the ground- where you recently remembered you just dropped one of your nice glasses. You then move, walking around your kitchen island to grab for a napkin and broom.

 “I’m sorry that I was born naturally hot?” He smirks while also catching you off guard. 

You lift your brow completely taken back by his arrogance and you’re not sure why but you could feel your stomach roll in reaction. 

“ Does cockiness also come with the new clothes or…—?” You trail off as you turn to walk back so you could clean up your mess, but you stop the moment you see it’s completely gone and Jungkook’s dusting off his hands in a haste. 

“No, but it does come with the title.” He chirps immediately catching on to your question and shrugs casually. When he does this, your eyes immediately zone in on his chest falling up and down and you’re quickly thinking of a way to pull yourself together. While doing so, you place the napkin gently onto the kitchen counter after putting the broom back in the corner.

 A deep breath escapes your chest when you take the time to control it and you’re leaning over your sink before checking the time on your electric stove. The clock now reads 6:53 am and you frown as you turn to look out of your kitchen window. From your view, the seemingly night sky was beginning to turn a lighter shade of violet. Indicating how soon the sun was to come. 

What the hell?

“...Jungkook?” You’re calling out into the air and before you knew it, you felt him again. 

You look back  and towards the rest of the kitchen- seeing him suddenly posted up against the entrance. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as the mesh, silk shirt hugs him beautifully around his torso. When you’re staring at him again, you watch as he plays with the ring on his lip, but your stomach churns with unease.

“Yes, Angel.” He answers and the second you blink he’s appearing right by your side, startling you incredibly. It's been so long that you're surprised by such a common move with him. You step to the side, somehow more put off by how tall he seems next to you. It’s almost as if his height had changed too.

You cross your arms before asking “It wouldn’t be crazy of me to believe you’re hiding something right?”

With that one question to Jungkook, he tenses as a cautious look slowly enters his eyes and all playfulness is gone when he sees the confusion falling into place within your mind. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” He plays dumb.

Of course he is, he just didn’t think  you’d pick up on his mistake.

You turn, leaning back on the counter and put yourself to thought. “I went to bed at 3:00 am and woke up a few minutes ago at 3:00 am…it's almost 7:00 now.” You state more so as if you’re trying to piece it together yourself.

“You must’ve been dreaming or something. Don’t stress yourself out over it.”  He swallows, suddenly seeming on guard and it's almost unnerving how straight his face has gone to hide any expression. 

He looks hollow.

“Stop that.” You frown, seeing something completely off about it. “I know you’re reading my thoughts again...I can feel it.”

“I’m not always reading your thoughts, Y/n.” He huffs, stepping up and looking down at you completely convincing to the naked eye. Deep inside, you knew better. You stare at him and don’t back down from your concern. 

 “What is it kook, I know something’s not right.” You grit. 

“What's making you think something’s wrong?” He sends you a defensive look and shrugs. 

“That right there!” You point immediately. “ You’re getting upset.”

It feels like Jungkook had suddenly put his mask back up as soon as you said that, which isn’t something normal to happen between you both. You frown deeper, looking at him. It was little at first, but you realized why Jungkook seemed a little different to you- his voice, his demeanor…it was less familiar to you and whatever dialect he was using with you was more formal than endearing. It was like meeting him over again for the first time or maybe he just felt less lively than he usually is. You would even say it feels like he’s holding part of himself back.

“You seem different and not just the way you’re dressed but how you’re acting.” You say honestly. 

He smiles and it puts you at ease a little,  but you can clearly see there's something he's not telling you because it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m just tired, there was a lot to handle once I went back and I’m still adjusting.” 

 “Adjusting to what, did something happen to you?” After hearing that, you look at him disappointed. You clearly didn’t believe a word he said and that was simply because you could easily tell when he’s lying.

“Y/n, for your sake please let it go.” He pleads.

“No.” Your expression stays hard.

He sighs in slight frustration. “I’m trying to go about this carefully and you’re not making it easy. if I tell you why then-” 

“Since when has it been too hard to tell me the truth?” You then ask, with hurt filling your voice. “ I get that there's some things I don’t need to know about what you do and your family, but it doesn’t feel like this is something with just them. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

You’re right…He’s not fond of how obvious that is, so Jungkook says nothing in return and watches how determined you look staring up at him.

“You can tell me anything, you know.” 

“I do know that, Angel.” He replies in a sincere manner, yet still it was lacking. “It’s just not that easy to explain, okay? I don't know how.”

How to tell you he almost devoured you and wants to fuck you at the same time? Yeah super easy.

The both of you stand there in an awkward silence and it’s like someone had sucked all of the words from both of you, well mainly Jungkook. 

Clearly, there’s unknown tension in the air and neither of you weren’t sure of where to lead after that. A small part of you wondered if it's because he was in trouble, or if he’d gotten hurt. If that really is the truth behind it, it only made you worry more if somehow it would come back to mess with him again. However this still doesn’t explain why there's almost a 3 hour gap between your time and why Jungkook seems like a totally different version of himself.

Was this the real Jungkook? Is this what he’s like when he’s not with you? 

When you look at him, your chest feels heavy and you can’t make those butterflies go away when he’s looking at you just as hard. It has you realizing just how much you truly are into him. His bunny face even in the newer version of himself, those big doe eyes and pouty lips. You used to love his longer hair, always playing with it and running your hands through it, part of  you wishes you could do that now-even with his new undercut. 

You don’t realize when your mind wanders, somehow envisioning Jungkook with his wild hair, your hands running over the natural inky skin of his body as your hands tug on the silky strands to your heart’s content. You wanted that- his kisses, his touch and so much more, that was evident with the trickles of arousal invading your abdomen from his presence. It's not the moment to think of this, but you couldn’t stop the images from popping in. You’re actually beginning to feel like it wasn’t of your own volition at this point.

“I just want to understand what's going on. You say everything is alright- but it doesn’t feel like that and honestly I don't think it is.” You shake your head, hugging yourself and shielding yourself away from him.

“Y/n...I know I haven't told you everything and maybe that's because I’m still trying to understand it myself. I think it would be too soon for you to handle. There's a better time than now, we can wait. ” He speaks out while listening to every thought you were having and his breath hitches, seeing the images that invaded your mind…He wanted that too and he thought he would have more time than this.

You’re not making this better. Stop thinking like that- fuck he wishes he couldn’t see it all.

 You listen back in when he speaks and realize you were just staring at him again. Honestly you hoped that he couldn’t see what you were thinking because otherwise you’d rather have been swallowed up whole in the ground.  You clear your throat and try to push down the nervousness that's slowly rising within you- a shiver racking down your spine when you take in the mint that's hitting your nose from him and the more you found yourself standing there with him, the more you were seriously finding it harder to not think that way. You honestly have no idea where any of it came from, but you were so on edge and you can’t control it.

Exhaling you, try to calm yourself.

“I’d rather know now, before you’re disappearing to who knows where again.” You say almost as low as a whisper and step forward to take his hand in yours. “And for your information, I don’t think anything will ever be as much of a reality changer as finding out about you and the fact that demon’s actually exist, it can’t be that much worse to handle.” You smile and Jungkook sees it, in your eyes, how much you feel when it comes to him. They're warm and inviting, completely sincere with every word you say because you truly wanted to know.

Damn- wait why is he noticing that?

Honestly It was like a punch to his gut, a stinging sensation burning on the sides of his head ringing throughout his nose and ears. He hisses, bringing his hands up to touch, but he couldn’t stop the small sense of relief forming after the realization. 

You’re definitely into him.

“Y/n…”  Something twinges from within his head, trying to break through and Jungkook is hissing from the sensitive heat that sears throughout. He grunts and his hands come up to grab beside his ears.

Your eyes widen in shock. “Kook, whats wrong?” 

Grabbing his hands to pull them away, you’re looking him over intensely and you begin to notice the odd appearance on the side of his head, closer towards his ears. Without thinking much more you lean up closer to him and as usual you notice when he tenses, inhaling deeply, but that doesn’t stop you anyway. You lift up your hand to touch his face, looking in to inspect him more and Jungkook watches you like a hawk, because so much is crushing down on him at this moment.

His body is lighting up from your proximity, a hand landing gently on your waist for support. A causal gesture, but the touch created tingling shocks in its wake. You would think this is a new territory for you two, it’s quite the opposite. It was normal for you to be this intimate with him, it’s just never in any way romantically… At least not like this moment, where you are very much aware of his hand and Jungkook fights the instinct to grip you tighter, pulling you onto him.  

He tilts his head curiously, feeling the soft caresses of your fingers on his face and he sees the moment you begin to notice the slight scarring on the sides of his head. Memories of what felt like burns that Hoseok created on him comes rushing in and suddenly he curses when he feels your hands run over it. Normally his kind are able to regenerate when needed, but because Jungkook was not only affected by someone stronger than him. What was done to him causes a much deeper wound that's harder to recover from. 

It could even be irreversible.

“What is this? When did this happen to you?” You ask, running your thumb over one side. 

He hesitates but finds it better to just grit his teeth, ignoring your proximity as much as he can. “It’ll go away...I got them with some help from my friend.” He answers honestly, but still sees the confusion on your face.

Jungkook feels as your finger follows it up into his hair, your fingers slowly seeping into the shallow parts, because you simply couldn’t help it. He instantly feels a shutter in his body, briefly closing his eyes the second you thought about pulling on it just a little. Suddenly before you could look more— he grips your hand tight and pulls it away gently before looking down at you in a more serious manner, burying the heavy lust burning within his chest. 

You’re way too close right now and should definitely move. Actually, he should move too, before he messes this up…but why can’t he?

“Oh-” You blink when you realize how distracted you’d gotten before clearing your throat. “D-Did it help?”

“...Not enough.” He breathes lower, desperately, but still watches you carefully as a darker look comes into your hazy stare in return. “-If only you knew.

You don’t notice the darkness seeping into his by the second, but the air around you both was thicker all of a sudden. Are you…are you seriously turned on by him right now? Oh no.

“Then maybe you can enlighten me, Jungkook.” He hears your voice, soft and curious as you stare up at him within his running mind and very much unaware of everything he’s holding back from you. 

Your scent is so overpowering at this point that even without his emotions, Jungkook definitely still felt how high his temperature could go and it wasn’t enough to stop him from being turned on by you. He only wished Hoseok had explained that part to him, or at least warned Jungkook how much he’d have the physical need burning within him. Better yet, maybe this is what Hoseok had planned from the start- with everything else everyone has done to manipulate his relationship, maybe Jungkook wouldn’t be surprised that Hoseok had only taken it upon himself to speed up the process.

Afterall, Jungkook had willingly let him into his head…Hoseok, what did you really do to him?

A monstrous desire chews at him to take you in any way possible, anywhere, and position—so many are going through his mind. The fact that he can still hear your thoughts definitely isn’t helping.

He shakes his head “Shit, I-...It’s too much right now.” The man says, fighting the erotic influence within his head.

“…Yes, because being best friends with a guy who appears and disappears out of my house everyday makes so much more sense.” You scoff up at him and he only rolls his eyes once more at your strange humor. “--I’m pretty sure I’ve watched you kill a guy once and while I’m still severely traumatized and seriously considering therapy, at least it was too quick for Yoongi and I to see.” 

Jungkook, bites his bottom lip, knowing of his friend’s act. He couldn’t wait to see the look on your face once you met the real king…wait…would you meet the rest of his family? Was that something he really wanted? Again, why is Jungkook thinking this far ahead- you don’t even know what you truly mean to him and vice versa. As much as he knows Yoongi lied to him and would never want to step foot up here again, he’s pretty sure the grumpy man would eventually miss you after a while. There was no acting when it came to your friendship with him, that much Jungkook knows is true, he talked about you half of the time- even when he wasn’t reporting to him. 

The matter still remains, was he truly ready to bring you around his dysfunctional family? And why did that spark something foreign in his chest? This is truly bittersweet.

If it weren’t for them, Jungkook wouldn’t have spent most of his time searching for you and going half crazy on your whereabouts. They literally drove him mad and for what? Because he wasn’t moving fast enough?

Fine, it’s fair to say that Jungkook was only being a coward when it came to you. He took his time, because the first time he showed you the real him- you pushed him away…Jungkook didn’t trust his own reaction if he told you how he felt and you didn’t feel the same. However, he never expected to be racing against an ancient curse and maybe…that's why he keeps putting off the truth from you. If you didn’t accept his feelings, he felt like it might truly kill him at the time… now would be the best while he couldn’t feel much right?

The problem is… Jungkook should really tell you about the bond first, because if this does go in his favor and the way his family clearly intended…Jungkook might actually end up completing it.

“—For your information he didn’t die until after I took him away so technically I didn’t kill him in front of you.” He corrects and if you weren’t so bent on figuring out his problem, you would have reminded him that hearing a human’s neck crack that violently is still disturbing enough to have anyone believing the complete opposite. 

“Whatever, Just tell me already.” You wait patiently for him to begin, watching the hard look on his face as he tries to battle his inner turmoil of what to do next. 

He really wanted to skip over this part, but Jungkook felt everything breaking down in an instant. Your thoughts, his hunger, the whispers…why did everything have to be so intense? Honestly he couldn’t take it anymore.

Fuck, is he actually giving in? wait.

“I-...hell.” Jungkook barely mumbles and you notice as his face goes completely blank, but he moves close enough to be a breath away. Jungkook then swallows, eyeing you strangely and though you had to admit while his gaze was drawing a forbidden emotion in your mind- you stare back at him expectantly, waiting for his next move. 

What you’re not ready for however, is when Jungkook’s hands are grabbing both sides of your face abruptly and pulling you towards him. Your body colliding against his hard front. The sheer force of his strength has you calling out in surprise, your face quickly coming so close to his and  he sends the deepest gaze into your eyes before something urges him to close the space. 

He couldn’t help himself, he’s supposed to wait!

 –His lips crash onto yours and catch your breath entirely from the shock of his sudden passion. You could feel your body reacting immediately—heat firing up in your stomach as he waits a second before moving them and you find yourself suddenly clutching his shirt for dear life. You were expecting words not a kiss- and definitely not for him to suddenly take this route with absolutely no cause whatsoever. You just couldn’t complain as a wave of lust shoots over your stiffened body and his minty scent becomes so much stronger to inhale. 

For a long time, there are no words or thoughts, just the feel of his lips molding and his body pressing into you to be closer. You may feel his tight embrace, but you had no idea of the fierceness he was fighting back to do more.

It’s definitely too late.

You guessed he was waiting for you to reject him, but after feeling his tongue swipe over your bottom lip for entrance, you’re more than willing to open your mouth- sighing in content when he slips the muscle in and licks almost desperately against you to get a better taste. His hands leaving your cheeks, Jungkook’s arms then come to wrap securely around your waist like before and he backs you up into the counter, definitely putting more emphasis into how much closer he wants you to him. 

It's not enough for him.

Not long after, you’re being lifted up, finding it hard to let yourself pull away and so does Jungkook. He grips one side of your legs, hoisting you effortlessly onto the counter and the flips in your belly are going crazy as his cold leather pants make contact with the inner parts of your thighs- putting himself comfortably in between. 

He just wants a taste…but something keeps pushing him. His own efforts to fight back are crumbling so easily.

Your mind is still running on another brain wave, one part of you completely lost and the selfish part of you present enough to enjoy the way his mouth is moving against yours, fulfilling the thoughts you were having all this time. 

His lips were just as soft as you imagined and it’s strange suddenly being able to share a moment like this with him. You exhale the breath in your chest, leaning your entire body into him and while melting easily as he shifts towards a sweeter end of your kiss. Your arms come up to wrap around his neck and your eyes shut when your arousal finally makes its way to your panties- no doubt beginning to cause a wet stain.

More, you want more.

Letting the mix of sweet almonds travel up his nose, Jungkook reluctantly pulls himself back, somehow managing to temporarily snap out of whatever urge had taken over him at that moment. Those same burns from earlier lingered on him the longer he felt himself standing there with you, he wished he waited until a better moment to kiss you. It was going to be impossible to control himself from you after this. 

Honestly…Jungkook really doesn’t think he can now.

You didn’t notice it, but he’d been taken by surprise when his vision had gone black out of nowhere, hands vibrating with the need to tear your clothes off. He couldn’t tell whether it was from him or if it was because of the bond pushing, wondering if this was possibly just another hallucination of his. However everything feels fine and you are in-fact sitting helplessly in his arms on your own counter. 

Jungkook just fucked himself once again…he’d only intended for a sweeter kiss as a test, not whatever that was just now. 

He’s left with a powerful hunger and it was running too deep inside him to ignore. Whether it was building up all this time or he’d always had it, Jungkook was overtaken by it and he’s wondering if it could be from the same hunger he felt to devour you. Only now it was dangerous to know there wouldn’t be any remorse if he did right now. This kind of desire was completely consuming him, or at least the mental block was slowly fading off, maybe that would explain why his head was lighting up over and over- until it was sending him into a fuzzy haze.

Jungkook stares down at you, getting a continuous light buzz when you try to chase his lips in return and when he doesn’t reciprocate, your eyes are opening- face stuck in a sinful daze when he hasn’t even touched you yet. 

He doesn’t know how he’s ever held himself from you before…now he’s tasted you and the filthy images racing in his head at the moment had him wanting more. The way he could bend you over your sink, fucking so deep inside you until you only knew him. He was only making himself worse by the minute- salivating as he came to wrap his hand around your neck and his eyes growing to pitch black as if you both were a part of his unusual dark fantasies.

You’re definitely not and there's one thing Jungkook was sure of at this moment…he wants to completely ruin you.

...

Tag List : @thisartemisnevermisses @vampyjk @taeilmom @outro-kook @bishuthot @mwitsmejk @irissilujm @vickyboo @awesomebabyyoda @hanzyyme @gerim-1995 @i-dont-give-a-fok @hwangheiress @hollyverday @seajae @oishee09 @jolinaprincess @yoongibabs​ 

a/n: I’m super sorry if some people couldn’t be tagged but tumblr isn’t allowing it.

#my fic #jungkook fic #soulmates #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #demon jungkook #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop fic #kpop smut #bts #bts j-hope #bts jimin #jimin #bts jin #jin #bts suga #bts jungkook #bts angst #bts fluff #bts soulmates au #Alexithymia #Jeon Jungkook #Min Yoongi #Park Jimin #Jung Hoseok

[knightofmidnightsun]

THE NIGHTMARE NEARBY, chapter two

the corinthian x gender neutral!reader

word count: 7,1K

warnings: mention of death and (slightly?) description of a dead body. description of injuries and blood. angst, sort of but there will be some fluff as well. the corinthian being in denial, believe me, we need a warning for that. and reader being an anxious mess (and that's okay!!!).

summary: after sharing a coffee with the man in sunglasses, was time to go back to work. back to a case that you were sure that it'd bring you more disappointments than anything. however, things took a turn when you suddenly started to stand your ground — not only at your job but yourself.

A/N: Just like the last one, this chapter is going to be very long so sorry but it was necessary! From now on I will let you know that, closer to the end of this chapter, the hobby that is mentioned by The Corinthian in a conversation with the detective is inspired by an idea by @the-darklings from the fic 'today i bury you in me', I recommend you to read it! I particularly love it! I hope you enjoy today's chapter :DD

| chapter one. | fic's masterlist |

chapter two: the detective and the tracks of a killer

The sun pricked your skin as you reached the street of your police department. Perhaps, drinking too much coffee on a hot morning wasn’t the best of ideas but what could you say? When you were having a good talk with someone, it was mandatory to drink the best drink in the place, wasn’t it?

At least, drinking coffee and having a good conversation before work saved your mood for that day.

To the point that when a strange man bumped into you along the way, you didn't even complain or let it cause the neurons in your head to burn out. While he just whispered ‘I'm sorry’, you nodded and said ‘no problem’. It was okay.

Because now, for the first time, despite feeling this continuous anguish slowly tearing you apart inside. For once, you were genuinely okay. It sounded weird, right? But it was the truth.

A small but mighty light relieved that pain in your back and shoulders. Something to remind you that besides all the suffering boiling your blood and keeping you from a good night (and day) of sleep, you were still you. You had your own feelings despite the ones you carried in.

Sometimes, it was hard to remember it. And, when you were reminded of it, it helped you to keep going.

From all of this, feeling okay for the first time wasn’t even the strangest one. The strangest thing was that it came from a conversation with a man you didn’t even know the name of. In fact, you knew nothing about him but his job. He could say the same thing about you.

Honestly, although all of this sounded strange indeed and a foolish thing to feed on, you were enjoying it. Something was intriguing about making a deal with a journalist who had previously been on the brink of getting you fired at the cost of his work.

Furthermore, there was a lightness in sharing a little of the suffering of cases like your current one with someone. Saying your theories out loud to someone, indirectly helped you to put everything the measuring inside your head. While everything you talked about revolved around your case, the killer, and how an unsub's mind works in different situations, there was something liberating about talking about such things with someone who wouldn't think you were a freak.

That was what you had longed for without even realizing it: to find someone that would understand what you'd say, and what you'd feel to some extent.

Even if you kept it all up your sleeves, never showing it. Somehow, the man in sunglasses always seemed to know what crossed your mind and soul, feeling the same suffering. As if, like you, he was cursed to take in the pain of others, even those who didn't deserve it.

It was strange, indeed. Typically, it would bother you and keep you alert. But it didn’t, there was that voice hidden in you that whispered constantly, saying it was okay to let him in. That, in an even stranger way, the two of you were the same.

Upon entering the precinct, you kept a few things in mind — mainly, subjects and points which you had commented about less than an hour ago. You need to remember facts or assumptions about your actual’s unsub before returning to work.

1. The unsub is a man.

You ignored some of the police that greeted you as you made your way to the entrance. What, that day, you’d end up regretting doing so.

2. He seeks control but isn’t just that, never is that simple.

If you had at least glanced at them, you’d noticed that there was something wrong at work that day.

3. He is killing young prostitute boys because they rarely investigate cases like this (so surely you investigating his killings must have pissed him off).

Entering the department, you waved briefly to the people at the counter. Without even noticing the pitying look they shared over your figure as you made your way to her division.

4. Although he doesn't seem to want anyone to know about his murders, something about how he leaves the murder scene behind says otherwise.

Completely unaware of what waited for you.

5. Cry out for attention? Maybe?

Before continuing your way, you paused for some coffee. You were psychologically preparing to reread your files and continue searching for something that will give you a more accurate direction.

PS: That was another reason for you to agree not to let anything slip to the press.

Then, back to the hallways. It didn’t take you much to arrive at your division, the difficult part would always be to reach your office before any of your colleagues could piss you off.

6. Newspapers are talking about the police investigating nightclubs but nothing about why. An unsub that wants attention may get impatient when nobody else knows about his killings and isn’t frightened by them, of what is hiding in the shadows.

However, to your surprise, they said nothing to you. No teasing, joking, or anything they would do every time they crossed paths with you. That would be suspicious but you were too busy with your own head to reason that out.

7. Therefore, it would not take long for the unsub to change something. In their victimology, method, anything. Another possibility had crossed your mind since the last victim, something that while it would be helpful, could bring more problems both for you and for the case itself.

Someone called your name out, few people didn't refer to you as a detective before your last name. So it was easy to assume that whoever it was could be important.

You stopped in your tracks and turned your head, seeing the policewoman you've begrudgingly met for the past few months. Not that she was rude or cruel to you like her peers were, but on the other hand, she was way too social for your tastes.

Margaret MacDonald rushed toward you, nearly piercing the air with the speed and force with which her feet slammed into the ground. As usual, she had her uniform and her hair placed in a way that wouldn’t distract her if anything more physical than reading files was required of her.

Unlike some of her curious colleagues, she was really working with you in this case. In any way possible, of course. She was reading some of the files, highlighting what could help your investigation, strictly following your words, and helping you to keep the press away from the scenes.

She was more competent than any other officer who only would show up on the investigation more out of curiosity than anything else — which was very distractible. Bad thing was that she was committed to trying to get you to talk more.

“Officer MacDonald,” you politely smiled at her, before returning to try to get to your office, “I’m going to reread the files we have so far, try to discover more about our unsub. If you have new things to add, leave them on my table, please”

“I do have new things but it isn’t the type of one that you like,” her southern accent slipped nervously, catching you before you could go anywhere, “You were right yesterday”

“About what?” your brows snapped together. Glancing around, you noticed some of the other officers looking at you with pursed lips, as nervous as the officer by your side.

Something didn’t feel right.

“They found another boy, half an hour ago,” finally, you get a glimpse of what Officer MacDonald had in her hands, photos, “We didn’t find his eyes”

Holy-

“-Shit” you interrupted yourself before more curses ran right out of your mouth, turning your heels in another direction. The plan of rereading files was long forgotten, “He shortened the time between his killings”

Just what you had feared.

“He did,” the officer agreed, gulping, “The body is here”

You nodded, “Update me, please”

The woman bounced her head slightly, agreeing in silence, immediately behind you as you made your way toward another division in the precinct. One that was known to every employee there.

“I took the photos,” Officer MacDonald laid the pictures to you and you take them without saying a word, “Just like you asked, while I did it, the others did their job to keep the civils away as much as possible. There are a lot of photos, I know, sorry, but I wanted to make sure that I’d miss nothing”

“It’s okay,” you replied, studying the pictures in your hands quickly before facing the officer again, “What about Dr. O’Neil? Has he started examining already?”

“The body arrived about ten minutes at the morgue, I assume we’ll get there in time to accompany the doctor in running the tests,” she motioned to the direction that the both of you were taking, “Plus, nobody else was in the scene but us. I believe that your plan worked despite the circumstances”

“Good,” you bit the inside of your cheek, eyes flickering at the pictures one more time, “Better than being surprised by a crowd of reporters again”

The scene captured in the first photos was similar to the last ones, not to say identical. The door of the motel’s room was left open, you knew that if you asked the officer by your side, she’d give you the same answer as the last hundred times: it was the room maid who found the body, the door was already open when she got to the hall.

From the door, you looked at the corpse dropped in the middle of the room, over the bed. Blood soaked the beautiful and expensive blankets, along with the carpet underneath. The pictures showed too well how the blood dripped from the wounds on his torso down to his heels, splattering the floor.

You pulled your face, intrigued by the next photos. Closer to the body, the boy’s face was on full display. His sockets, where he once had eyes, were empty — filled with an endless dark red, you could see where the cut was made. No more wounds were obvious on his face, there were no marks around his eye sockets. The precise cut in the optic nerve was the only clue that a blade would have passed close to his face.

Unlike his face, his chest was filled with wounds. You turned over one of the photographs and read the note the officer made there. More than ten stab wounds. Like the other times, nothing has changed in the unsub pattern.

There were other things in the photos, of course. Some with evidence that was different from the last ones, but nothing could help you understand who the unsub was. The most normal thing in murder scenes was distinct evidence due to distinct circumstances. Not every killing would be exactly the same.

Yet, the suspect seemed to try his best to get them to be.

“No one saw the unsub?” you knew what the answer was but you still had to try.

“No,” Margaret sighed, prying at the photos from over your shoulder, “The staff pointed out that they don't tend to meddle when it comes to prostitutes doing their jobs”

“That’s new,” your voice was filled with irony, rolling your eyes to no one specifically, “There is something that I’m not seeing”

“Don't blame yourself,” the officer glanced at you, “Whoever the killer is, he knows what he is doing”

“I know but,” you shook your head, “It’s… Strange, that’s all.”

“Strange?”

“Yes, for now,” you nodded, giving a last look at the officer before turning your eyes back to the hall, “Until we have the Dr. O’Neil results”

It would be an understatement to say that you walk into the doctor's work area accompanied by officer MacDonald had been enough to ruin his mood for a day. Lately, it wouldn’t be difficult to assume that working on any of your cases was a torture session sent by Chief Brown.

According to the Chief, he only continued to head your cases for O'Neil to examine because you were the only one able to keep his ego in check. So yeah, on second thought, you and your demands were a torture session sent especially for the doctor.

You and Officer MacDonald stayed by his side while he did the victim’s autopsy. From discovering what was the cause of his death to looking for clues about your unsub through the injuries that he left behind with the body, that was Dr. O’Neil’s job — your job there was to make sure that all the right doubts were asked.

Only then, you could have the chance to find the answers you needed to have at least one more clue, this time who knows, one that really gave you a direction.

While the doctor (ever so patiently with you and your questions) ran his tests, you took it as an opportunity to reread the other files of the case, including, writing a new one about the recent victim with Officer MacDonald’s help. Who knew, it could help you to see something that you hadn’t before now that the unsub had attacked again.

In the end, after nearly eight hours, you had filled Dr. O’Neil’s office with notes, photographs, and loose papers. The doctor didn’t agree when the officer tried to bring an evidence board into his office. Then, it was easy to imagine his surprise when he returned from his lunch break, with your orders in his hands and facing what you had done to his office.

Anyway, you had ignored half of his complaints. After all, while he was off and the officer was distracted with your files, you had time enough to approach the victim’s body and take your gloves off, keeping them in your pockets for a moment.

The hairs on your arm stood on end as your hand met the morgue's temperature. But it didn't compare to the shivers that crept through your body when you briefly touched the shoulder of what was once Marcus Smith.

Like the last one, fear lingered in what was left of the boy's soul. Blinding you to darkness, turning you into a child that shivered every time the lights were off.

You didn’t feel your knees bruised, wrists tied and hurt or hair pulled back aggressively. None of that. Instead, you were walking, you could feel the floor creak under the weight of your footsteps.

You were holding something cold, if you were clumsy enough, it could easily slip from your hands.

The photo of a broken wine in the corner of the room, next to the bed rested in your gloved hands.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, stepping away for a second from the notes on the floor, the photo still in hand as you tapped it, “All of the news that we have is information about the victim, like the others, a boy who was trying to survive on the streets”

“No family, no house…” Officer MacDonald muttered, licking her chapped lips, “He has no connection with the other victims, whatsoever. They didn't even work for the same person”

“They didn’t,” you nodded, “The murder scene is identical to the others if we don’t look at it too closely, there is something I am not seeing”

“That’s about what you said before?” she furrowed her brows, holding a photo of the scene.

“Yes, I guess,” you rubbed your temples, trying to soothe yourself and your overworked mind, “I’m not doing the right question”

In the background, the doctor clicked his tongue at your statement. You didn't even have to look at him to know he was shaking his head with a face of who clearly didn't want to be there. Doctor O’Neil was one of the many people who did not agree with your method of investigation: understanding the killer's behavior and what was going through his head and then building his profile. To him and many others, that sounded vague.

Maybe it really was. But how would that explain the fifty-plus cases you'd helped complete so far if it was?

You opened your mouth but closed it soon after, even so, why did you feel like you had said something? You didn’t. But the feeling was there as if a string of words had dropped from your mouth when you knew that it didn't.

In a way, it did.

A name skipped from your mouth but you couldn’t catch what it was. The words were messy in your head, twisted as you tried to put them together as if you were inside a dream.

However, the last thing it would be, it was a dream.

Fixing the gloves in your hands, you cleared your throat and glared at the doctor, “Since you're so willing to help me, doctor, please tell me the exam report.”

That was enough to make all that ego disappear from the man's face.

“Hm,” he puffed, turning back to the victim’s body, “Marcus Smith, twenty years old, took twenty stab wounds along his chest and two further down, in the stomach area. He died from blood loss while still in the tenth stab wound to the torso.”

“There are some cuts near his ankles. Nothing flashy,”, and you’re back to the voidness.

You continued to walk, and each step felt longer than it really was. It was like walking up to a hill, the sound of wood creaking was the only thing that confirmed you were there. Every creak pulled you into the moment, into the fear.

There was no reason to fear, supposedly. You were having fun, you just went to search for a good pick-it-up before the second round? Or three? You couldn’t quite remember.

No, Marcus. Marcus who couldn’t remember.

“I found shards in some of them from the wine bottle they found at the scene. It is easy to assume that the victim was taken by surprise during the attack and dropped the bottle, causing the cuts before being thrown on the bed and receiving the remaining wounds through the torso.”

Until it came, like a flash of lightning. Like an itch at the back of your head that didn't make sense before, but now did.

Like a blade meeting your flesh.

You just had time to wonder if this was real before losing control of your legs. The strength was drained from your body, the only thing that felt real was that comforting cold fading in the palm of your hand.

Soon, you heard glass crashing against the wooden floor.

The next sound filling your ears was your throat forcing your voice out, vibrating in desperation. In fear. Everything was dark, nothing felt real.

It was a nightmare, right? It could only be that.

You didn’t have the strength to fight it back, not anymore, your body wasn’t capable of recovering from the shock. Fear coated your mind as your senses like wine staining a rug.

Looking at the photo that Officer MacDonald had her attention on, you had a new opinion about what was stained on the carpet.

Fortunately, the officer hadn’t until now paid attention to your shiverings, and neither did the doctor. When you shut your eyes close and force your body to stay still, Dr. O’Neil continued to report his findings.

“Like the last few times, he'd had sex minutes before death and his eyes had been taken out shortly after his death. Strangely flawless, I must say.”

That brought your brows to rise.

“Strangely flawless,” you repeated his words out loud, “Why?”

“Oh,” for the first time since you arrived, the doctor smiled, smugly, “I thought you had it figured out”

You forced a polite smile, the corners of your eyes aching from the force with which they crinkled.

“From what I know, your job is to help me by giving me a point of view that only a professional like you would have,” as you spoke, Officer MacDonald looked between the two of you, silent. But if you tried enough, you’d hear her holding a snicker, “So, I suggest you spit it out”

“Fine, fine” he rolled his eyes, raising his hands in surrender, “The killer takes the eyes off the victims flawlessly, time and time again. Since the first victim that you and chief Brown asked me to do the autopsy, I didn’t find any bruise left around his sockets”

He… Wasn’t wrong. It was one of the first things that you noticed as well.

“Usually, it would leave at least some scrapes, like in here or here,” using the scalpel, the doctor indicated some of the regions close to the victim’s sockets, “But there aren’t, not even one. That’s what is strange, detective. For a fourth, your killer is doing a pretty good job at not making any mistakes”

Fourth.

You widened your eyes, that single word echoing in your head. How did you not realize it before?

Without saying anything, you started gathering the files, photos, and notes — the gears in your mind running at full speed to care what you were accidentally crumpling. Finally, you have found the fuel for your brain to work around.

“Detective?” the officer called you, trying to understand what had come over you, “Where are we going?”

“My office,” you muttered under your breath, exasperated, “Thank you, doctor, I hope not to come back here soon”

With the help of Officer MacDonald, you left the doctor's office with your files and everything you had about the case. Unfortunately, before you had your back turned to his division, you didn’t miss the O’Neil response.

“Likewise” Fucking asshole.

The heads of some police officers immediately turned in your direction when they heard your impatient footsteps resound through the halls. You weren't running by the skin of your teeth, barely holding yourself back from doing such a thing, it would only give everyone more reason to frown at you. It wasn't like it was going to make a difference anyway, but you didn’t give it a thought at the time.

For anyone, it was just another day at work: you cruising down the halls, with a bunch of files and evidence in your arms and ignoring half of them.

Well, apart from the officer following your step faithfully.

“What the fuck happened?” Officer MacDonald hurried to your side, “What did you find out, detective?”

“It isn’t his fourth killing,” you said quietly, “He has to have done it before”

“Wait…” The woman around, more confused than before, ”You’re saying isn’t his first time killing? Wouldn’t we know if someone had been killing prostitutes and taking their eyes off?”

“He doesn't necessarily have to have murdered here in the city before, he may have killed before in another city, even state,” you scratched the back of your neck but the touch of the fabric of your gloves didn't do much to ease your train of thought, “We need to call the police stations in nearby cities and ask about the unsub.”

Officer MacDonald snapped her fingers, “If we look hard enough, we'll find the trail of bodies that follows him.”

“Exactly,” you replied, “I need to leave everything at my office and start to write new notes and send a report to the Chief about the progress of the case”

Glancing at the woman, you added, “I may comment about your help, officer. I know I didn’t say much, but… Thank you for helping me”

“No worries, detective. I should be the one to thank you,” she softly smiled, dipping her head to the side, “I'll take the opportunity and advance the calls, have another officer dig through our old cases. Including those that were never investigated”

“That would be good,” you agreed, “Don't forget to warn the others to patrol tonight, the assassin may strike again and good luck”

“I will,” the officer cocked her head, “And you too, good luck,” she said back, placing more papers about the case in the pile you were already carrying and heading over to her desk.

Leaving you... Thoughtful, for a few seconds only. But effective enough to make you wonder in the middle of the night.

Since when have you been able to cross the line and speak more than one word to someone without getting lost in them?

Where had that courage come from to rebut Dr. O'Neil so directly? Did he even notice? He didn't seem to have seen as much as you did.

And with Officer MacDonald? How the hell did you manage to keep up a conversation with her without ending up rambling until her ears start to bleed and she was looking at you like anyone else? Like if you were only bothering her with your lecturing.

That was what everybody thought, didn’t they? How you were incapable to stop of lecturing when given the opportunity.

Still, that's not how it felt less than a minute ago.

You've never had so much conversation with one person before. Not at work. Not more than a sentence. You got goosebumps just thinking about the knots that popped up in your head every time you tried to overcome that obstacle.

So where had this willingness to fight this fear come from?

When did you start fighting it back?

“Detective,” someone called for you, turning to the voice, you saw one of the receptionists, “There is a man at the front desk that wants to talk with you”

“A man?” you asked back, forehead creasing, “How was he like? I don't remember having agreed with anyone to come to the precinct now”

You continued your way to your office, with the receptionist by your tail. Whoever was waiting for you, was probably confused. It wouldn’t be the first time that a civil mistaken you for another detective or officer.

“Blonde,” however, at the receptionist's first word, you frozen, “He wears a brown blazer, I think. Oh, and he's wearing sunglasses, which is weird because it’s starting to get cold outside”

How did he…?

You wheeled around, fighting back an incredulous scream, “Huh, I think I know him, Unfortunately, I don't know if I'll be able to talk to him now, I have to leave this at the office and write some reports for the boss.”

“But you didn’t take your break, right? What is it, nearly six o'clock? If I'm not mistaken you are allowed to leave early since you didn't go to lunch, you must be starving”

It was six o’clock already?

You sighed out loud, sensing that you wouldn’t find another excuse. Besides, you were really hungry.

“Fine,” you nodded, “I’ll leave my files in my office and you tell the Chief? I will be at the front desk in no time”

The receptionist hummed in agreement, turning their heels and heading back to their job.

But before they were completely gone from your view, you dared to ask, “Did you tell him my name? In any way?”

Stopping in the midway,  the receptionist tilted their head.

“Hm, I don’t think so? He said he wanted to talk with the detective with black gloves and a strange mood and I knew it was you, why?” of course, she knew it was you, huh? You shook your head, fighting back the will to roll your eyes, “Should I tell him?”

You wildly waved your arms, biting back a squeal.

“No, don’t tell him”, you spun around and continued your way to your office, ignoring how puzzled you had left the receptionist, “It isn’t like I know his”

If that was supposed to help to bring some clarification to the receptionist, it didn’t work. They only shook their head and went back to the reception.

Either way, there was so mistake, for sure. It couldn’t be him, there was no fucking way.

Thus, to prove it was indeed a mistake of the receptionist, you quickly arrived at your office and left everything about the case there. You just made sure to not forget a thing or two that you’d need to check up on when back at home before leaving, just in case.

Not that you were wrong. Which you couldn’t be, right? You weren’t.

It had to be a mistake or a misunderstanding. 

Yet, you had to do your best to quietly catch your dropped jaw when you walked into reception.

Aside from a few civilians who waited to have their bulletins filled out or to solve whatever their problem was, one person stood out among them. It was just as you'd imagined the first time you laid eyes on him, anyone would easily spot him in a crowd.

He wasn't exactly the discreet type.

Just as the receptionist had described, the man wore the same clothes as earlier. A brown blazer that fitted his body perfectly, matching the beige shirt he wore underneath and the pale hat he held in his hand. It wasn't like he needed any more of that to protect himself from the sun, not when he continued to wear the same sunglasses so constantly.

But if anything, it wasn’t the clothes that had you immediately recognizing him — you wished.

What instantly set him apart for you was something that appeared way before you met his dark lenses: that growing grin that was placed on his face at the moment his sunglasses met your figure. You’d know that grin of his even blindfolded. It could sound stupid but it was true.

“Detective!” he shouted, clasping his hands together and neared your way, “I wasn’t sure if I’d find you at the first precinct but I needed to try my luck”

“You’re telling me that you found me by luck?” you crossed your arms, “How?”

“You came here from the cafe by foot,” he shrugged, “I could only assume that you worked at the nearest precinct”

"Only that?" you questioned, your eyes bored into him in evident disbelief. Whether he actually got it right where you worked on the first try or if there was something else he was omitting would be an eternal mystery — one that you didn't want an answer to for sure, “That simple?”

The blonde chuckled, shaking his head, “Believe it or not but you active law enforcement officers aren’t all that mysterious as you think you are”

You rolled your eyes at that, tasting the irony in his tone wrapping his words with bitterness, but you knew he was just making fun of you. Until he didn’t make the same joke to the others employers from there, there was nothing to be worried about.

“Funny,” you huffed, looking to any corner of the precinct that wasn’t his face, “Why did you come here, exactly?”

“If I say that I missed you, would you buy it?” he tilted his head, cocking his brows at you.

“No,” you tilted your head back at him, making sure to keep your tone down to any other ears, “It seems to me that information about my case that you should not know had reached your ears and you want a reliable source to confirm it. Which would not surprise me despite our efforts to avoid rumors”

“Ouch,” he placed his hand over his chest as if you insinuated had wounded his heart, “I know you've only known me for less than one day but do you truly think so little of me?”

Did you?

Not even you had the answer to that if you were to be honest with yourself. Despite your common sense pointing out that yes, you thought little of him, the same whispering voice from before appreciated his presence. Which was enough to ignore the logical details.

“That’s not the point,” you dodged his question, shaking your head slightly.

“Okay, okay,” the man sighed deeply and looked up, “In my defense, I came here as soon as I heard about the police around another motel this morning. So, I wanted to check with you if everything was okay and if it had to do with your case because…”

You raised your chin, “Because…?”

If you could look at the expression behind his dark lenses, you’d discern the apparent perplexity. As if he wordlessly asked you if you were really going to force him to say that single word.

Unfortunately, you didn’t say anything. Would he have to say that, wouldn't he? Apparently, yes.

Fucking human-

“Because,” he pulled a smirk back to his face, flinching at the words that were caught in his throat and stirred in his tongue, “I was worried”

Much to his surprise, you were the one to furrow your brows. As if you didn’t know that this was the answer he was going to give you.

“Well, hm,” you hung your head, lashes fluttering nervously, “I’d leave early today since I didn’t have lunch so if you want to make me some company…”

The Nightmare put on his hat back, with this sarcastic luring grin turning the corners of his lips up, “Why not?”

When you had suggested that you’d make up your missed lunch, the Corinthian imagined that you'd stop at the closest restaurant. Since you humans need to keep yourself healthy and well-nourished if you want to live past 50.

Hence, the bafflement on his face, while you were on your last taco, was understandable.

The cold breeze cut your cheeks, reminding you how the weather usually shifted so quickly at this time of year. But, there was a comfort in having such a wild wind following the both of you while walking next to one of the town’s parks and you finish eating.

The bright sun from the morning was no longer hanging in the sky but hiding behind the gray clouds that gathered over you, the sunset was slowly being overshadowed by the veil of the night. However, a few golden and red strokes could still reach your backs, shadows dancing against the street before the dim light of the streetlamps were the one influencing them.

Fixing his sunglasses with his middle finger, the blonde’s attention lingered on you, from the moment you stepped outside the precinct till now.

At first, you didn’t notice it, too distracted in commenting about how was your case that day without giving any names that you shouldn’t. It wasn't until after you bought your tacos you realized that he had his dark lenses faced at you for a long time.

It could have been because of how poorly you ate or for being entertaining for your lines of reasoning and, sincerely, you hoped it was the latter. Even if it made you shake your head to yourself, bashfully.

Lucky him, your ability didn’t involve reading minds it seemed. Because, if it were, you’d know that you were far from the truth about what crossed the Nightmare’s mind. Not to mention that it would instantly make you listen to your common sense again.

As the Corinthian watched you explaining your new discovery, among his many thoughts, two he persisted in repeating to himself. More like a reminder than anything else.

After decades of going unnoticed with his murders, did it just take a detective with some ability he so far didn't understand to be one step ahead of the few investigators who once tried? Even if had tried not to, he ended up underestimating you more than he intended.

He wouldn’t commit the same mistake again.

Now, for the second thought: just other killers — people who the Nightmare inspired — had a vague idea about his work. And now, there you were. A step away from knowing the long trail of bodies that he had behind him, twice your age or more.

What should he do about that? End the game or let the show go on?

“That’s good,” he replied to you, stopping beside a tree and lying his back in it, “Didn't I tell you? You just needed to be more patient”

You puffed, finishing your taco and throwing the napkin in it at the closest trash can, “You didn’t say that”

“I said many things when we were having that coffee” the blonde pointed out, “I’m sure that among everything you said about your case, I said it”

You tittered, rubbing your temples to get rid of a new headache named ‘the man in sunglasses’. But as you took a moment to process the blonde’s words, you frowned.

“Am I only talking about my job, right?” you folded your arms, “I’m sorry-”

“There’s no need to be sorry,” the man was quick to interrupt you, dismissing you with a wave of his hand, “If I remember right, I was the one to suggest for you vent about your work with me because I felt that you needed someone who… You know, someone that would listen to you”

You smiled at that, even if you tried to fight against it. The way he said it made it sound so simple, and natural like it was no big deal. Perhaps, it wasn’t, but it was the other way around for you.

You rarely felt comfortable enough to share how you worked on your cases. How discovering the suspect's profile was always the crucial step, even though his method was still new in the field. Most of the time, when you dared to comment something about the way you worked, people seemed more to mock you as Dr. O'Neil did than being really intrigued about it.

As the man next to him was. Or, perhaps, just like Officer MacDonald was too. Did she always seem so interested or did this curiosity of hers only surface now? You weren't sure. If you started being more open with Bruce about the cases you worked on, would he also be as interested as they are?

The thing was that… You had never stopped to think about it, not in an optimistic way. So, why now? Since when did all of this start to crawl through your mind?

“Right,” you nodded to yourself, “But it doesn’t make it any better, I asked nothing about you or your day”

“Well, so ask away.” 

The man in sunglasses neared your way, opening his arms as he patiently waited for your question.

“Hm,” you wiggled your eyebrows while you thought, “Do you have any favorite hobby?”

The blonde genuinely laughed, he had to fix his glasses again before you could peer at what hide behind them. Did you really question him about his hobbies and not his name?

He cocked his head to the side, looking at you in amusement. You, humans, were really surprising beings.

“What do you mean by hobbies?” he asked, quipping a brow. As though he was confused and not wondering if killing could be a hobby.

“Something you like to do when you’ve nothing to do?” you tried to answer, drawing your brows together while you were saying, “Painting, walking, sunbathing-”

“Wood carving,” he cut you, his mouth set in a thin line.

“Wood carving?” you snorted, “Serious?”

“Yes,” he nodded, mimicking your expression with an offended tone, “I’m quite good, actually”

“Okay, Michaelangelo, I got it,” you rolled your eyes, earning a playful glare from the blonde, “It just wasn’t what I expected”

“And what did you expect?” he questioned you back, tilting his head slightly, “Chatting with charming strangers”

You puffed at that, fighting hard to not give him any reaction, “No, I don’t know, maybe writing? Weren’t you a journalist?”

“It doesn’t mean I have to like to write,” he replied with disdain, “You said you were a journalist before, right? Last night? Do you like writing?”

“Hm,” you didn’t expect the tables to turn like that, you rubbed the back of your neck, “Yes? Kind of, I used to write more before but it got hard”

“Why?” the man picked up at your nervousness, folding his arms in front of you. Just a few inches away from your figure.

“Well, I learned one thing only when I used to do it as a job” you shrugged again, trying to avoid his face. But, it didn’t matter where you’d look, you didn’t stop to feel his vision keeping track of your eyes, “People don’t want the truth, they want escapism and that’s a hard thing to give when escapism is nothing more than an illusion”

Because you were trying to escape his gaze, you didn't get a chance to see how your words affected the man in the sunglasses. He hummed silently, the corners of his lips contorted in a frown similar to yours — catching the essence of your idea and genuinely identifying with it. Without even needing to be heading at one more of your vision, memory, or whatever it was.

“That’s why you quit being a journalist” it wasn’t exactly a question, but the man did it anyway.

“I guess,” you agreed in a whisper, brows now knitted, “I stayed at law school, specialized in psychoanalysis, and started looking for other ways to give people the truth”

So that was what made you different from the past investigators, detectives, and officers that the Corinthian met over the years. You didn’t want to hide the truth, you thought people deserved to know the real face of their town. For you, everyone was worthy of justice.

With a sigh — and a lot of effort that you didn’t need to know about —, the blonde placed his hand over your shoulder and gave you a warm smile. Again, you felt the same feeling of last night, a connection, as if deep down you were both from the same matter.

But weren’t you all? And, somehow, it felt different from the saying.

Then, it clicked. You had your answer.

‘Since when have you been able to cross the line and speak more than one word to someone without getting lost in them?’

It was since him.

‘Since when did all of this start to crawl through your mind?’

Since last night.

It had everything to go wrong from that point on. But, you ignored your conscious and went back to hearing that whisper coming from inside you, in your intrinsic.

A voice assuring you that, in some strange way, the mysterious man in sunglasses would always end up being your answer.

“Do you want to get head to the bar of that friend of yours?” the man asked, jerking his thumb toward the way you’d have to go if you agreed, “It’s on me tonight, what do you say?”

Tonight. It meant it would come more nights like that one?

You smiled at that thought, muttering a quiet ‘yes’ to the blonde before you.

It was easy to imagine the surprise on Bruce’s face when you had brought a new fella to the stool.

.

next chapter.

.

Taglist: @slashersimp101 @mavsketch @lostcause514 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @morallygr4ygay @milleca @ravenous-says-stuf @smoke-n-fiire @laydreams @kameronrose (thank you for helping me with this chapter!!) @mischiefmanaged71 @seraferna (if you want to be add, let me know!)

#the nightmare nearby #the corinthian x reader #corinthian x reader #the sandman x reader

[myprincejinnie]

fic recs for my anime hotties!!

-separated by anime & character and then genre-

if it has more than one genre like mafia and soulmate au then i will put it in the section that i think it leans more towards, but most will have summaries and warnings as well so it will be easy to figure out (hopefully lol). the genre is more au based and not like friends to lovers and stuff bc most aus have those genres as well and it is hard to separate. if it doesn't have an au it is prob in others. this list looks kind of scuffed bare w it pls. i really just made this to keep track of my fav fics so i can reread them. + some of them i haven't read in a while. and others i didn't add bc they are either on hold or it is pretty obvious that they are never going to be finished )); i really like hybrid, a/b/o, and soulmate aus so lots of those !! i go to tumblr after finishing my manhwas and when i get tired of trying to find fics on ao3, so i prob have more on the ao3 list. in regards to this anime tumblr fic rec list, i have a lot more on the ao3 list but it is going to take forever to put together . . . i am scared.

find other group and fandom lists here.

>>the mentioned ao3 list<< this one is going to take a while lol . . .

📕 - one shot/head cannon/short

📚 - series

🔃 - ongoing

✅️ - completed

🔞 - smut + not going to put all warnings for the type of smut going on in each so make sure to read warnings on the og post jic

Kiyoomi Sakusa (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

Soulmate!Sakusa x Reader by watevermelon📕

Summary: request --

>> Warnings & Tags: none. Notes: I love this author so lots from them!!

Golden Swirls by hawks-supremacy📕

Summary: when Sakusa's sister told him how people found their soulmates, he was disgusted. or at least until he found his. >> Warnings & Tags: no warnings, fluff and angst

___childhood friends___

Envy by watevermelon📕🔞

Summary: Childhood friends with Sakusa Kiyoomi, you were sure that your unrequited desires would simply stay that way. From play-dates in his backyard to being the manager of the Itachiyama volleyball team, you were content with watching your friend pursue his dream. >> Warnings & Tags: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 394, Explicit one-shot; smut, Porn with Plot; Unreliable Narrator; Jealousy but actual mutual pining; lots of Humor; semi-public sex; dominant Sakusa; near face-fucking; finger fucking; eating out

___fluff___

Quiet Sort of Love by watevermelon📕

Summary: As manager of the Fukurōdani volleyball club, there was no doubt that Itachiyama’s Sakusa Kiyoomi was a strong ace. He brought your team to their knees on multiple occasions, but what you were not expecting was getting to know the nationally acclaimed spiker beyond just the titles and labels. >> Warnings & Tags: Implicating language and slight spoilers toward the end (you will be warned beforehand :)), lots of fluff, angst, slight BokuAka, character development, mutual pining at one point, Buckle up boys cause this is a LONG one LMAO

Tetsurō Kuroo (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

He's my soulmate by honeypirate📕

Summary: You can communicate telepathically with your soulmate, sending thoughts and feelings to them. it’s a skill that develops through time after you hit 17.  it takes a few months for the connection to grow so for the first little while not a lot comes through. So far you have similar songs getting stuck in your head and thoughts will come through quietly. You tried once to send specific messages but you never had any responses to them so you tried to just go about your day, excited with any thought or songs that come through. >> Warnings & Tags: Kuroo x f!Reader soulmate AU, soulmates

Soulmate Singer by sundrop-tetsu📕

Summary: your voice was truly something. he loved hearing it. and he often heard you singing. but honestly, he thought it was a mere hobby of yours. finding out his soulmate is american was a bummer because of the distance. but hey, you have a concert in tokyo coming up. and thankfully, his friends are your biggest fans >> Warnings & Tags: kuroo tetsurou x gn!popsinger!reader, gender-neutral reader

HAWKS (MHA)

___soulmate au___

Falling for You by flannel-cladpika📕

Summary: This AU is from my list of BNHA Soulmate AU’s. This one took a lot longer than most of my stories do, but I like the way it turned out. Enjoy! Hawks x F!Reader soulmate au >> Warnings & Tags: none, female reader

TOJI (JJK)

welp . . . i will just call this

___smut___

Bunny Girl Toji by aizawa-horny-brigade📕🔞

Summary: Request -- Toji with a cute bunny girl. She’s sweet and allows him to do whatever he wants with her. Always wakes him up with a bj 🥺Who knows how a mean asshole like him got her to begin with. Certainly seems like the type to have “won” her from a shitty owner after gambling. >> Warnings & Tags: male receiving oral, Toji being a bully

milkmaid. by aizawa-horny-brigade📚✅️🔞

Summary: straight smut, y’all. Downright filth 😤 ✨enjoy✨ >> Warnings & Tags: literally smut, read warning for each part, part 1 -- Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!Reader (ft. Puppyboy!Yuji), part 2 --Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader, part 3 -- Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader

GOJO (JJK)

gojo. by demxnscous📕

Summary: gn + sorcerer!reader, mutual pining, reader and Gojo are good friends, he gets a little possessive(?) in this, extended metaphors yay >> Warnings & Tags: none.

LAST UPDATED/ADDED ON: 12.21.2023

#anime rec list #fic rec #jjk ff rec #mha fic rec #fanfic rec #rec list #fic recommendation #fic rec list #haikyuu fic rec

[nonokoko13]

SXF MISSION 80

Woah, long time I didn't make a review. Hope you're all doing fine while I half disappeared.

Making a brief summary of this chapter. We got:

Yor and the dangers of being drunk while managing a fake marriage because drama is needed.

Worst/Best timing yet to this day, depends on your view. I have faith in Yuri that he'll surpass himself in another occasion and break some best/worst timing record, including breaking in someone's property ofc.

Yuri worrying about Yor doesn't have hobbies. This is, in fact, not a secret to anyone. It's public domain. No need to be a secret agent to get your hands over this information.

Also, it was a matter of time the idea of cheating was brought up by someone, my bet was in Yuri or Fiona so yay. Plus fake rumors of cheating? That's some good ol' juicy reason to indulge one fave characters in angst, hurt/comfort. Any damaging gossip is, really. Fanfic material right there. 10/10

And finally.

Shit got real. Humorous situation escalated for real this time 100% real no bait more news on our web www-

It's serious, but to me it was all giggles and happy noises because I've been waiting for Twilight VS Lieutenant Briar since Yuri's introduction and Endo is finally letting me have some crumbs.

These are some predictions for the future:

Fiona and Yuri finally meet. However, Yuri thinks Fiona is Loid's mistress from work and Fiona might be tempted to play along his suspicions, ultimately refraining herself because it would endanger Twilight/the Operation Stryx and she knows better than jeopardizing her efforts and others lives for some brief petty entertainment. I mean I hope she is above that God please girl I'm not telling you to raise our expectations just don't dig another basement in your obsession-

New short chapter of Becky and Anya on the zoo. Probably short but sweet and wholesome. Maybe on the middle of this arc or right after it and Lord know we'll thank that

The mole is a new character. Frankie can't be because it's stated the mole worked for WISE while Frankie is a third party who cooperates with Twilight and only with Nightfall due their connection.

Speaking of new characters, the girl behind Yuri seems too detailed despite being a background character.

Perhaps it's my love for women or my need of more badass ladies and I'm overthinking here but she may be relevant later on and honestly it would be cool to get another SSS frequent character. Love the detail in her earrings btw.

Will she be Yuri's friend? Will she meet a tragic fate as yet another cool design forever forgotten? Another Fiona situation is in our hands? God let that last prediction live down, one is enough.

At some point Endo will reconnect this chapter plot to the story and Loid, with Yor's words still haunting him, will try to spend more time with Yor. Bonus point if it's right the day Yor has a mission and this backfires on her majestically

Following the previous premise, Yor tries to dissuade Loid on following her by saying something along the lines "I don't want to spend time together right now (or else you'll find I'm an assassin!)"

And Loid understands it as "I don't want to spend time together right now (because I'm still mad at you and the damage is already done. Nothing can be fixed at this point. I'm holding this gripe forever.)", furthering causing Loid brain damage by all the gymnastics this man does

Leading to a situation where Loid either backs up for now and lets Yor alone but compensates her later OR Loid keeps trying to please Yor in some way, decreasing her chances of sneaking and finishing the job, which makes Loid think his attempts are deepening more the problem that never really existed. A loop where both suffer by the other suffering until a miracle happens [read: Anya or convenient excuse] and she's free to go slay

Anyway that's all for today. Sorry for not taking the summary seriously I'm in Goofy mood®. What do you think about this arc?

#spy x family #sxf mission 80 #manga chapter review #yor forger #loid forger #agent twilight #fiona frost #agent nightfall #yuri briar #sxf manga spoilers

[ravenatural]

15 Questions tag game

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

Tagged by @echoghost1 , ty Echo!! :D

1. Are you named after anyone? 

Ohh okay so this one is kinda fun because I technically am on four counts! My legal first and middle names both came from two different people ( one a famous author, the other my great great great ( great? I think it’s 4 ) aunt. The other two counts come from chosen names! while I’m not positive how much raven counts ( chosen at 13 because of raven teen titans haha ), Alva is another name I chose for myself that came from an ancestor on my moms side

2. When was the last time you cried? 

Last week? I think? Shit’s been kinda stressful all of a sudden

3. Do you have kids?

I babysat a couple of kids for a few months when I was like 18-ish and worked a job that had a daycare room, and I absolutely adored them to the point my mom started referring to them as my kids, but I am neither a legal guardian nor still in contact since the place went out of business so I’m gonna have to answer no to that one

4. What sports do you play/have played? 

Ohh man okay i don’t think I’ve done any sports since I was like. 10 years old, max. I briefly did soccer, and then basic ballet and tap lessons; I had a couple group recitals, but never advanced past flats, and honestly did not retain even muscle memory on anything

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I can’t because I’m the kind of awkward that struggles with tone inflection and quick wit so when I try people always think I’m serious 😔 

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? 

Something that can be complimented, generally.

Like, one of the things I do as someone with a customer facing job, is actively look for things to complement people on, for a multitude of reasons. It’s def not some kind of a requirement for my position, but more just that I like to break up the basic check-out process a little by finding something that I can genuinely appreciate ( which, the more I’ve done this the wider an appreciation of people’s personal style preferences I’ve had in general ) and communicating to them I like it, which never fails to brighten up an interaction.

It’s honestly really great too, because people often like to share the story behind the things I compliment, and I love to hear those stories, so it’s a good balance I think!

7. What's your eye color? 

I’ve always been told they’re brown but I’m like 98% certain they’re actually hazel? But the definitions of hazel I see are very, well, hazy tbh, and I’m afraid to commit to being 100% certain lmao

8. Scary movies or Happy endings? 

I like both BUT the happy endings I’d really like to have a lot of toil and angst and maybe a lil tragedy first—I want that happy ending to have blood stains that are over time bleached away by sunlight, but forever imprinted onto the fabric

9. Any talents? 

Idk if I’d describe myself as talented in any manner, but that’s mostly because I prefer to think in terms of skill-set over natural talent

That said, I have never formally—or informally really, for that matter—studied gemstones, but I can recognize and name a decent number of them on sight relatively easily, and have ID’d multiple pieces of tanzanite jewelry first try ( something where every individual, all unrelated, who was wearing said jewelry have said I’m the first person to not only think it was something other than sapphire, but to also know instantly. All I can really offer as to how I know is “its just the way it is” because ig the color and shine differences aren’t as easily noticeable to everyone else? ). It’s a side effect of having a detail focused mind that I’m honestly really proud of

10. Where were you born? 

Nice try sucker you’re not getting the answer to my online account security question THAT easily

11. What are your hobbies? 

Drawing

opening new tabs from my YouTube recommendations side bar for every song title that looks interesting and seeing how much new music I can find in one sitting before I get bored

finding hyper specific and sometimes rare things people I know haven’t been able to find and then buying it for them

googling the fuck out of some random ass thing that just came up in conversation until I have a bunch of new fun facts on the subject

sewing

and more!

12. Do you have any pets? 

LOTS

context: my family runs a small hobby farm, + we have our indoor pets ( only cats for indoor now ), we’ve had a variety of livestock over the years, but currently it’s just sheep and chickens for outdoor

13. How tall are you?

Just a lil over 5’5” but not quite 5’6” ( no I don’t need to be that specific but the doctor commented on it last time she took my height and damn if I won’t take the small win )

14. Favourite subject in school?

Mmmmm I’m gonna automatically disqualify art just to make this slightly more challenging for myself.. probably Astronomy? Tbh I’ve never been able to wrap my head around enough math concepts to understand a lot of science formulas, so that whole portion of it didn’t quite work out for me, but I enjoyed the fuck outta reading the textbook

15. Dream Job? 

Oh okay this one is actually really specific, but. Making an anime / cartoon style comic and / or illustrations and maybe a variety of other artwork for NASA, no this position does not exist but I want it IMMENSELY

Hooooo this got a LOT longer than I expected lmao

trying to avoid tagging mutuals I’ve already seen tagged in this one, obvi feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna do it ( we’re low stakes tagging in this household )

@zrllosyn

@magiwou-meowvin

@13threbagel

@lactoseparty

@aggressivelyclueless

@mcfanely

@cosmicteafox

@tunafishprincess

@ukiinas ( I silently salute you for being my longest standing mutual 🫡 )

…and anyone else who’d like to! ( I don’t feel like digging through my followers to fill the list to max shajsisoa have at it fellas )

#Tag game #Ask game #15 questions tag game #long post #ravens ravings

[laysdimplesareillegal]

Character Development: Chapter 3

Pairing: Monsta X Changkyun x Reader

Word Count: 909

Warnings: yandere themes, kidnapping, general delusion, angst

Character Development Masterlist

He had a soft smile as he said my name again.

“Stay away from me,” I tried to keep my tone level.

“What are you doing? Were you about to make lunch?” He sounded honestly curious as he looked around at the counters and tried to peer over my shoulder.

“Don’t patronize me. I know you’re the one who brought me here. If you come any closer to me, I’ll kill you.”

Changkyun looked at me the way someone would look at a helpless child. He took one step towards me, and I instinctively reached for the cup I had planted on the stove. I can throw this at him at least. But when I grabbed hold of it, the ceramic seared my hand and I screamed with everything I had. Dropping the cup shattered it, making me clench the knife in my other hand harder; my nails dug into my palms. Ceramic pieces littered the floor. With a worried look Changkyun took another step forward.

“Get away from me,” I said again, waving the knife around like I knew what to do with it. The next thing I knew, there was a polished gun just outside my reach.

“Drop the knife.”

I see now that I had quite literally brought a knife to a gun fight. Instantly, I dropped the knife, and felt the sinking weight of defeat on my chest. He kicked the knife away and approached me with a pitying expression.

“Let me see your hand,” Changkyun reached for my wrist, and we had an awkward push and pull when I attempted to fight him off. “Stop resisting,” he shouted, I froze. “I don’t want you stepping on any of the shards.”

At this point, I didn’t care about stepping on something, I just wanted to be as far away from this creep as possible.

“Go run your hand under some cold water and I’ll clean your mess up.” I wanted to make a run for the door, but I knew he’d intercept me. “If I’d known you were this accident prone, I never would have left you alone this long,” he commented, walking back in with a broom. Unsure of what to do, I stood quietly with my hand under the running water. “Stay put and I’ll be right back. I have some burn ointment.”

So, he worried about me, to some capacity at least. On his way back, he turned off the music that had been playing in the background. The house felt soulless without it.

“Do you like it? It’s just a hobby of mine.” I let him guide me to the couch where he dried off my hand and treated it. He rattled on, “To be honest I wasn’t sure if I wanted you to find it, but if you enjoy it that’s all that matters to me.” There was a long pause that hung heavy between us. Eventually, “Why won’t you answer me?” he looked at me with large, despondent eyes.

I avoided eye contact.

“I asked you a question.” His voice was stern again. He grabbed my face and forced me to look him in the eyes. “When I ask you a question, I expect you to answer me.”

“I hate you.”

“You can’t hate me-” he laughed “-you don’t even know me.”

Exactly, I thought.

“Now, I know everything about you. Which is why I was able to give you such a nice home. Anything you could ever need is right here. I waited until I could provide everything for you.”

Waited? “How long did you have to wait?” I asked hesitantly.

“Years.” My eyes grew wide. “You know we used to go to the same university. I don’t know if you recognize me, I worked at the rec there. Checking people in and stuff.”

Oh m—this man is more insane than I could have imagined.

“I was a couple years ahead of you. I remember when you were a freshman. You really don’t remember me?”

How do I know what to say to that, of course I don’t remember someone I might have seen years ago. “Uh, yeah actually I think I do!”

“Don’t lie to me.” Changkyun curtly shut me down, so he was a lie detector too huh? “But that doesn’t matter, that was a long time ago. What matters is that we’re together now! You don’t know how happy I am to finally have you here. What do you think of it?”

I couldn’t tell if this man was hostile or naive, but if I had to respond and he didn’t like me lying, “it’s a prison.”

He deflated. “You don’t mean that.” Collecting the ointment and the bandages, Changkyun stood up to set them on the kitchen counter.

“No, I do.” I got up too, “I hate it here. You’re a psycho and a freak and you kidnapped me! I want nothing to do with you! I hate everything to do with you!” My yelling echoed through the vacuous house.

“SHUT UP!” I had his gun pointed to me again. He had a furious grip and an aggrieved look, “Say you didn’t just say those mean things. Apologize to me now.”

“I would rather die.” Tears of pure rage streamed down my face. “Kill me now and get this over with,” I sniffed.

With a serious expression he fired his gun. Life began to play in slow motion.

I was really going to die.

#changkyun #im changkyun #monsta x #i.m #angst #monsta x fic #yandere changkyun #changkyun angst #yandere monsta x #changkyun fic #kpop #fluff #monsta x reactions #monsta x headcanons #changkyunnie #changkyun x reader #x reader #self insert #monsta x x reader

[bbina]

i fckng hate second chances with every fiber of my being and every living cell in my body. once its over, its over. if u fckd up IMMEDIATELY ✂️✂️✂️ i hate it when a characters get second chances after fckng it up real bad like NO U DO NOT DESERVE ANOTHER CHANCE AND OTHER MC ALSO DOES NOT DESERVE TO RISK GETTING HURT AGAIN

on the contrary tho, for btl, i do think yn should get another chance? is it another chance? well, wonbin didnt really give her a chance to explain herself, he went ahead of himself and created assumptions. and i know that every one says yn is the problem cus had she not offered the fake dating set up this wouldnt have happened BUT wonbin had no problem agreeing to it so....wouldnt really say yn is the root problem. the root problem is their lack of effective communication skills, emotional management/control and listening skills!!! wonbin im sorry but running away was a stupid af thing to do and i know ur hurt but u literally made assumptions after seeing 2ppl hug. babes ppl can hug platonically, believe me. thats all i have to say. *bows, drops mic and leaves stage*

im sorry for the sudden rant when this discourse was already over like a week ago i could not help it. ive been following u for a while but i am a silent reader and this is my first time sending an ask to anyone here in general. im so nervous. is my english okay? i swear i know proper punctuations but im too lazy to do it rn rip. i just want to say ive never been so invested in an eng au cus i usually read the ones in my native language cus THEM ANGST HIT DIFFERENT BRO anyway, i love ur writing sm <33 makes me wanna start writing again as well if it werent for my busy af shed (graduating student things). cant wait for the next updates ✨️🫶🫶

but the angst material is tew gewd don’t you think? second chances trope is nice and all if done right 🤪 maybe some groveling here and there and viola! perfection

most valid btl theory ive seen 😫 they’re both dumb 🤝 and did mistakes,, (yn made a bigger mistake tho) but point still stands

nah ur sudden rant about the week old discourse is perfectly okay. any rant about btl is 👌 cus im curious on how each person takes in the story and seeing a bunch of different reactions is what keeps me going 😫🤝 AND AGAIN IM HONORED TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE YOU SENT AN ASK TO 🙏 your english is great!!!! thank you so much for reading!! and i hope whatever i put out or something makes u want to go back to writing 🙏 i myself is a graduating student too but i still find the time to insert my hobby which is this because i love it so much and its honestly my stress reliever (contrary to popular belief i write more eloquently when i’m either stressed or having a headache idek why lol maybe it gets my brain juice all worked up)

#mailbox #btl ask #★.mail: unnamed #beautiful essay anon i salute u

[haesunflower]

hi tee,

hope it's not too late to send asks now.

where do u get writing inspo from?

2. do u have tips on how to improve ur writing (not necessarily grammar-wise, but in a way that makes the reader feel immersed and engaged)?

3. will u consider writing for blt blit? 🙈

4. what kind of concept do u want or think blit will have? im hoping fun & fresh because i really enjoyed wakeonez performances of "Say My Name" and "Left & Right") and it's age-appropriate for the kids (namely mun junghyun and park jihoo). i believe yunseo (other k-group yuehua member) and seungeon (svt guy) have perform svt songs on boys planet so i think it's suitable. im thinking they might have more ateez-isque vibes too? idk. share me ur thoughts and anything else related to their upcoming debut.

5. what's the last thing you listened to?

6. outside of writing, do u have any other hobbies or interests that you'd like to share?

7. what places are you interested in travelling to the future?

8. if u could live anywhere in the world, where would u live? (and why if u don't mind sharing)

HI MONI I MISSED YOU! Hope you’re doing okay!!

1. Writing inspo- I’m honestly delusional and most of my ideas come from my walking/gym sessions where I just allow my mind to float ?? Haha but I’ve been an AVID fanfic reader for years! I think I’m heavily influenced by a lot of seventeen/nct angst writers

2. For me, I always like setting the scene and adding a hook without giving too much away - makes the reader interested in continuing! I find it immersive to dedicate a few staring sentences to see the scene - give an idea of where the characters are. And Instead of going straight to the point with character dialogue, i begin with internal monologue, or a narrator insert - followed by some sort of emotion?? If that makes sense (ex: in “written in the stars” we start off with an scene setting of a busy and bustling palace, followed by y/n’s internal thoughts of wedding that is to take place soon, but it’s not her wedding? And she’s relieved about that??) this makes the reader want to continue to find out moreee

3. Hells yeah I will 😎

4. Literally give me jelly pop type concept I will be happy forever! But considering their very STRONG rap line, I’m inclined to believe that they’ll be leaning towards ateez esque vibes!

5. Always by Zhang Hao is playing at least once a day for me 😭

6. I’m a licensed scuba diver! And I genuinely love everything water related

7. Canada 🤔 and going around Europe! I’ve been to Poland but non of the neighboring countries

8. I’d love to live in Sweden for peaceful vibes?? The PH tends to get noisy and gossipy since the social circles are so small - so I’d like to go somewhere where literally nobody knows me! Maybe even Korea or Japan? Mainly because I love cityscapes and living independently in a city is actually my dream. Id say New York too but I know too many people who have moved there already

I’ll send you fun questions too!!!!

#moni💸

[redfoxline]

ao3 wrapped [reader edition]

Do you know how many works your read this year? Around 2021 according to my AO3 history

Longest work you read this year? Didn't check but Once Upon An Eclipse by LeeRyder is likely the longest (a Genshin Ragros fic I highly recomment)

Shortest work you read this year (not including art published on ao3)? Not a clue I'm too lazy to check the 101 pages of my history to find out.

Do you have any works you read that are between you and your web browser? Nope, I'm shameless.

Did anything you read make you cry? I can DEFINITELY name a few. Angst is so tasty.

What's your absolute favorite works you read this year? Once Upon An Eclipse (quoted above) and Interlude: tightrope ballet, a wonderful Genshin fic focusing on Collei's and Cyno's relationship by Lilith-writes (the 3rd installment of a series I HIGHLY recommend), Into Esthar (a running FFVIII SxS story) and naturally Et au matin se fâne, a fantastic KavehxAlhiatham story written in French that has stolen my heart.

Did you read through any authors entire works? I certainly did: Shakekp (French) and their beautiful Genshin stories and Hazel-Athena with their incredible (and massive) collection of ZoroxSanji stories in the One Piece fandom.

Pairing you read the most for? AlhaithamxKaveh

Favorite rare pair you read works for this year? Surprisingly I don't think I've read rarepairs this year?

Largest fandom you read for? Genshin Impact

Smallest fandom you read for? Sasaki To Miyano

Did you as a reader receive any works as gifts? Nope.

What trope do you think you read the most of? The Getting Together tope. I even filter my search with this tag! xD

Favorite AU you read this year? Modern AU

Favorite canon concept you read this year? I honestly don't have an answer to that question.

Were your comments coherent or mostly screaming? Both (both is good)

Did you leave any comments that had to be in more than one part? Dude, even with my best effort the AO3 comment section limit is HUGE so obvioulsy no.

How many works did you bookmark this year? Around 80.

Did you read any works published before this year? Of course! Commented on it too. <3

Did you download any works? Yes! I like downloading stuff to listen to them as I do m chores.

WIP's or completed works? Both (Both is still good!)

Category you read the most of? Hurt/Comfort

What time of day do you read the most during? Evenings.

Where do you read the most? At home

Do you read on your phone or on your computer? Both although I think I use my phone more.

Did you do any beta reading for anyone? Nope.

Do you listen to anything while reading? Yes, I like some music or ASMR sometimes.

Did any line/passage stick with you after you read it? I can't remember which fic it was, but I think it was a KavehxAlhaitham's fic where the author quoted an Arabic poem with the following: 'You ask me if I love her to death. Speak her name above my grave and watch me be brought back to life'. A shame I can't recall the poet's name.

Do you have any works you think are required reading for (fandom)? No. Reading is a hobby and being part of a fandom is not a job. You don't need to have read/watch any specific works to be part of the fun.

Biggest surprise for you as a reader this year? Une fleur en ce monde qui n'existe pas by Shakeskp. I've stopped reading in my maternal language ages ago, whether it is in fanfiction or published book, and finding this little gem reminded me how beautiful my own language could be, up to the point where I wrote a little thing in French myself (and enjoyed myself immensely).

#ao3 reader wrap up 2023 #FFVIII #FF8 fanfic #genshin impact #Kavetham #One Piece fanfic #Fanfic rec

[lultimagoccia]

Knowing your partner well can potentially make writing together a lot easier

Name: castoro. cast for short!

Pronouns: they / them.

Preference of communication: dms are good! i do have a discord, just know i can be slow to reply to messages thanks to Bad Memory Brain + Low Social Battery. i promise i do wanna talk to people and rp, just really goin' through it with my exciting brain struggles.

Name of muse: giuseppe ’ peppino ’ sacchetti spaghetti.

Experience/how long (months/years?): i've been making up stories and embodying characters who aren't me basically my entire life. i honestly don't know who i'd be without fun pretendy times. in terms of online rp, i've been goin' since i was 13, so almost 20 years at this point. i've been on tumblr since 2011, and before that, i've used forums, chatboxes, online messengers, deviantART notes, i've done it all!

Best experience: a forum rp based on the movie " 9 " by shane acker. met some truly incredible people through that experience ( including my gf with whom i had a beautiful baby! ) and just overall had a great time weaving this big intricate plot together that spanned many months. i miss that level of cooperative plotting and threading, it was really fun and engaging.

RP pet peeves/dealbreakers: admittedly i very rarely unfollow / break a mutual with someone, so my threshold of tolerance is fairly high. i understand everyone has their bad days and that sometimes the only place a person can blow off steam or unwind is in the rpc. that said, i steer clear of people that display a consistent level of callousness, unkindness, or overall rude behavior ooc. i don't care how good a person's writing is, rp is a social hobby and if a person is gonna treat fellow players like shit all the time, nobody owes them interactions. no ooc / ic divide is also a big deal breaker.

Muse preference (fluff, angst or smut?): i find i really enjoy charged interactions, either moments of action or elevated emotion. i love seeing what happens when two muses just talk and share some really interesting chemistry that naturally progresses the plot. of course i love fluff and angst and all, but those kinds of things work best when i'm really invested in the muses earning that moment of sweetness after a lot of struggle or fighting their way through a hard time together. i love smut in theory, but i'm mega shy about writing it with new people. i think the stuff i enjoy in an erotic context is just so deeply personal, it's hard to share casually unless i really trust the other mun and gel with their writing style.

Plots or memes: for sure memes, i'm horrible at plotting out ideas unless i'm super familiar with the other person and their muse. i love brainstorming ideas and seeing where those vibes go, rather than planning out details of what's gonna happen.

Long or short replies: somewhere in - between i'd say. just depends on the rhythm of the scene and what best keeps things moving.

Best time to write: usually when i'm caffeinated and have had a nap. fully restored and ready to shift into Focus Mode babey.

Are you like your muse: while i can def relate to his struggles with intense anxiety and all the incredibly inconvenient ways that it manifests, i'm not a lot like pepp. which has proven to be a fun writing challenge, tbh! i enjoy trying to get into the heads of characters with their own set of morals and beliefs separate of my own, try to understand why they think and act like they do.

tagged by: @crvptd said do, so i do tagging: u

#;out for delivery [ ooc ] #;mun #;meme response

[untowonder-gone]

Spill the tea ! 🤲

send Spill the Tea- to let me ramble

I was slowly falling asleep at my desk when I was answering these last time, so I didn't ignore this. I just got tired.

I find that writing Marianne is incredibly disheartening. She, like many of my OCs, is not allowed happiness unless she fights for it. But she is also not allowed to keep that found happiness, because, in some way, it will be taken from her. She is very often affixed to plots that are either bittersweet at their core, or verge on the depressing. And those are not just plots with others, but those I have planned for her actual story and lore.

At first, I thought I was punishing her for existing, which is something I am known for doing. Like most of my OCs, the ones I love the most, are often put through trial and tribulation again and again just for the sake of suffering. A price for living. And I don't have a reason for it. I don't hate my muses, I don't hate my characters, but I don't feel like any of them can be happy. And if they are happy, it is something which is only granted after I have put them through x amount of hell.

And I feel like Marianne is very much a product of that same cycle. Trust me, I do, I really do enjoy angst, however, there comes a point where I have to stop and wonder at what point does it end? At what point is it okay to say enough?

I've already written Marianne's ending, for instance :

She will be alone in her throne room, in her moribund kingdom. A shadow of her former self, placed on a throne of glass like a discarded doll. Left to wait and to rot. No longer a girl loved, now a girl forgotten. She will be alone the moment that someone decides to kill the Red Queen and shatter the mirror of Looking Glass. The moment she ceases to be with all that is, and all there ever has been of Looking Glass.

That is the default ending for Marianne. She is supposed to cease to exist without a shout, without a cry. A sudden, silent end. And since she is a being without a soul, like a mermaid, she just becomes nothing.

And I wonder why. I know why, but I also don't. And it's all very contradictory in my head.

But writing Marianne sometimes feels disheartening. Hopeless. Like I adore your funny words and phrases, my dear, but I don't want you to be happy. Yet I will turn over a dozen scenarios where she is allowed to be happy and free of the crushing weight of her unhappiness, of her birth and history, and so on and so forth.

But it really does feel like if I am not writing her with angst and unhappiness, she will become boring and someone that no one wishes to interact with. I ought to be writing for myself, but rp is a two-way street, and if I don't present something interesting, I won't get much interaction at all. But the more nearly angst-driven opens I post, the less interaction I seem to garner.

Am I just a bad writer?

It's a question I ask myself a lot when I get into these moods. Or just when I'm depressed, which is often, honestly. Some days it's worse than others. Some days I just stare at tumblr and I think, for all the effort I attempt to put out there, I really am just too old for this hobby. Maybe I was never meant to be a writer. I wasn't good enough to be an artist, I fucked up my wrist a long time ago. Maybe I'm just holding on to this dream because I've carried it all my life.

And then it just starts up again. It's a constant cycle, you know? I am a bad writer who punishes the characters I love because I am not happy so they can't be happy. Or something like that.

I wouldn't read too much into it.

#muraenide #⋆⁺₊⋆ 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 ›› ㅤ ❝ the writer is a marionette #⋆⁺₊⋆ 𝐚𝐬𝐤 ›› ㅤ ❝ would you tell me，please，which way i ought to go from here?

[n-agiz]

another ramble about my ongoing writing related existential crisis that no one asked for but that i will still put out there hehe

i genuinely love writing as a hobby and stopping it rn is kind of out of the question for me because it is one of my biggest creative outlets and i'm still not ready to let go of it — that being said, and i've mentioned this multiple times over the last few months, i have been feeling pretty unhappy with my work. i enjoy writing smut, but i think kinktober has made me realize even more that my fav genre might be angst, because although i enjoy indulging in the filth every once in a while, i absolutely adore writing sad stuff for some reason that i cannot point out. beyond that, i think my main issue is that i am not as into anime as i was when i started writing two (?) years ago on my previous blog . . i barely watch anime anymore and the same goes for reading manga, which is why i keep writing for the same few characters, because those are the ones i can still feel some sort of connection with and feel any sort of enjoyment writing for. my main problem though isn't exactly my fading interest from animanga, but the fact that even if i can acknowledge it, i still can't think of any other fandom i would want to write for. i could move onto writing for f1, but then i would probably only write for the two or three drivers i actually find attractive, and for some reason even that doesn't appeal to me at all, or i could switch to kpop, but i don't even know what sort of stuff i would wanna write or for who i would wanna write, so i'm left with nothing else because besides those two most of my interests seem to come and go randomly. i have toyed with the idea of doing more of those your fav x you posts and maybe even dipping my feet into some oc related stuff but i'm not sure how that would do in the long run, so i am at kind of a loss right now lmaoo. i still have all intentions of finishing kinktober, but after that i'm not sure in which direction i will be taking this blog. continuing with animanga isn't completely out of the question because, again, even though i don't care much for it anymore, i still feel comfortable enough writing for a very limited list of characters, which is already something ig . . .

anyways, all of this to say i might end up doing a whole revamp to this blog and changing everything about it hehe, hopefully the few people who actively keep up with me will continue here through whatever might come in the future, but even if you don't, that is absolutely fine ! i'm honestly excited to see what path i might chose but also even more excited for the experimenting process that will come before it where i will try to figure out what works for me right now <3 i just wanna have fun with writing and tbh, right now, creating stuff that isn't exactly tied to one already existing character or person doesn't seem too bad so maybe that's the next step for me ? i don't know we shall wait and see

#rambles. #i didn't mention it here but there is one other fandom i might consider switching to but that one is so uncertain to me that i don't even #wanna put that idea out there just yet lmaoo