#how he doesn't have a strong sense of self because he is always performing just as much as he is experiencing.

[anna-scribbles]

emilie agreste and rose quartz.. the same

I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME

#the. what's that one post about characters who aren't in the story but are in every part of the story #the way emilie and rose are both so revered in their narratives #and leave such a gaping hole #i find stories about the absence of someone so interesting #ive spent so long trying to decide how i would characterize emilie if I were ever to write her #and eventually I made a list of things that adrien is that he got from his dad and things that adrien is that he definitely did NOT #get from his dad #and then i decided to attribute THOSE things to my perception of emilie #and I love the idea of borrowing from rose quartz's complex of becoming whatever the people around her wanted her to be #so that they all elevated her but had different ideas about who she actually was #& how she was actually so deeply insecure and doubtful about who she really was #that she decided to leave #very emilie to me. #think a lot about how adrien impulsively reflects what people want from him #(he's a mirrorball girl if you get what I mean) #and how he's just so universally adored #how he doesn't have a strong sense of self because he is always performing just as much as he is experiencing. #his expression of self is always at least somewhat impacted by who's around him and what they want or expect from him #and he didn't get that from gabe. gabe doesn't model that at all. #so I think it would be interesting if he got it from emilie #because she WAS universally adored. the same way adrien is. #look at what she did to adrien. to nathalie. to gabe. everyone who knew her loved her so completely #but she's also someone who would leave them all behind #I think that emilie taught adrien the idea of self-sacrifice as an expression of love. I think she taught him how to hate yourself #and be loved by everyone else #I think emilie messed him up too. #anyway YES tumblr user mari-monsta. yes I do think about that #ml #anna rambles #thirteen

[zykamiliah]

So we know SQQ uses The Wives/The Women as a stand-in to talk around his attraction to Binghe, but another thing SQQ does is use the Original Shen Qingqiu as a way to talk around his own personality, (negative) emotions, and even self-esteem, either by contrasting himself against him, or by finding similarities. It makes a lot of sense, since he's inhabiting the body of the original, the person he needs to, to a certain point, imitate to survive.

From the very beginning, SQQ finds similarities between o!SQQ and him, and says he doesn't get why someone with reputation, good cultivation and the biggest sect backing him up would be so envious of other people's potential to the point of scheming against them. The Original Shen Qingqiu was not satisfied with the things he has and instead of idling his life away, like Shen Yuan in his previous life, he's digging his own grave.

When rummaging through the carriage interior, SQQ finds a lot of stuff that was frankly unnecessary to take on such a short trip, like "five or six different tea sets". And noting this, SQQ thinks,

No matter that in his past life he could have counted as a wealthy second-gen, he still hadn’t been this pointlessly indulgent in his pursuit of first-world affluenza, okay? (Chapter 1: Scum)

He's saying, "unlike him, i wasn't needlessly indulgent".

Another example is when he compares his own competency to that of O!SQQ. He does this a few times in the first volume.

The original Shen Qingqiu’s skill at facing down demons should have made this quest as easy as killing a chicken with a knife. Shamefully, the knife had failed to even hit the chicken. In seconds, Shen Qingqiu discovered something that made his mood even worse. (Chapter 2: Mission)

In other words, "unlike the original goods, I am so uncool right now". But the best thing about this part is that... it puts SQQ in a bad mood. I want to call attention to the fact that he feels shame for failing, for being being weak when he should be strong. Shame doesn't come out of nowhere.

Rereading this volume and noticing this few hints of his character and emotions really challenge the notion that SQQ/SY is just an easygoing person. There's a lot of mental gymnastics being performed so he doesn't have to confront his own emotions. If the unreliable narrator tells me he's easygoing, should I believe him? I am questioning everything he says until it's confirmed by his actions.

Now, going back to how he uses o!SQQ to talk about his own competency, and most important, how he feels about being competent, strong, etc.

Surrounded by the cheers of the sect’s disciples, Shen Qingqiu attained a complete victory in the first match.

At this moment, Shen Qingqiu realized why the original flavor had clung to being a poser like it was his lifeline—it was unbelievably satisfying. (Chapter 2: Mission)

Why is it so hard to say "being cool feels so so good"? Being admired, strong and capable is something he comes to enjoy, and I wonder about Shen Yuan, and what was his life like. Why does he have to use o!SQQ to open a sentence about why being "a poser" feels good. He won't say he himself is a bit of a poser, or that it feels good to be cool.

The original flavor pushed Luo Binghe onto the battlefield because he was shameless! He didn’t care about the sect’s reputation! He hated Luo Binghe to the bone, enough to want to vicariously torture him via the hands of demons!

The current Shen Qingqiu didn’t share any of those three motives! (Chapter 2: Mission)

SQQ is not shameless, in fact there's a lot of shame in him. He cares about the sect's reputation, even if he's been in PIDW for, what, a few months? And most of that time he spent it in a cave cultivating. I wonder why he latched himself to the sect so quickly? As if a part of him always wanted a place to belong to, be part of, play an important role, a place he could contribute to.

“Do you think that the burden of peak lord will be too heavy, Qingqiu?” asked Yue Qingyuan.

The original Shen Qingqiu would most likely have suspected that Yue Qingyuan was trying to undermine his authority or something of that sort. However, the current Shen Qingqiu knew that Yue Qingyuan was genuinely worried about him overworking himself and damaging his health(...) (Chapter 3: Favor Points)

He's saying: "unlike him, i don't misunderstand people", which is... clearly not the truth, but he doesn't know that. SQQ thinks he has a pretty good grasp about people's intentions and that he's good judge of character.

All that said, the quote that actually made me connect the dots about how SQQ invokes the original to talk around his own emotions is this one, when they're facing MBJ:

“Unusually inferior talent,” [Mobei-Jun] said. “Foundation and techniques inflexible. Leave.”

Shen Qingqiu said nothing.

He wasn’t some unmatched genius in the Human Realm, but his talent was still at least one in a thousand. And Cang Qiong Mountain’s foundation and techniques weren’t inflexible, they were orthodox! Mobei-Jun still described them as he would a pile of garbage. If the original Shen Qingqiu had heard this, he would have coughed up three liters of blood and run away crying to make a voodoo doll. (Chapter 4: Conference)

But wait, that first sentence kind of sounds familiar, doesn't it?

From early on, he’d known that even if he idled the rest of his life away, he’d never want for food. Perhaps due to this carefree upbringing, devoid of either competition or pressure, he came to believe that ranking in the top ten of a competition was good enough, so long as it had more than ten people. (Chapter 1: Scum)

He's saying "as long as I score among the best I don't have to be a top ranker". Like, if he's comparing himself to others, he won't feel bad because he's not at the bottom. He's average, and average is good, right? Like a "at least I passed the test, I don't need a top score" type of thinking. It feels like something he'd tell himself to feel better about his own performance.

The middle child, saying that as long as he has an average rank everything is fine? Hahaha. Yeah ok, Shen Yuan. (wtf are you hidinnnng)

But I want to draw your attention to this sentence

If the original Shen Qingqiu had heard this, he would have coughed up three liters of blood and run away crying to make a voodoo doll.

because it's so fascinating how SQQ is mentally incapable of admitting to himself that his pride has been hurt by MBJ's words. He feels insulted, and he channels that emotion by projecting his feelings on and picturing what the original would feel in that situation.

Oh, but zy, isn't this just SQQ's humorous running commentary on everything that happens to him? Maybe he's not really upset about what Mobei-Jun said about him having "unusually inferior talent".

Nope. He's really, really pissed off

Just as the sword array was about to come down like sheets of rain, Shen Qingqiu snarled within his heart.

I’ve done my best, but he still thinks I’m low-level trash, so what can I do?!

How loathsome! If I have to die, couldn’t it at least be in a better-looking way? After being stabbed with hundreds of black swords, I’m going to be a sieve! Who could bear to look?!

He SNARLED in his heart. MBJ didn't call him low-level trash, he did that himself. It pisses him off that he's going to die in such an uncool way that will leave him looking like an ugly bloody pulp.

Is this really a guy that doesn't care about his reputation or how he looks to others, that calls himself an "easygoing person"????

This is a guy that has had to repress every emotion related to his own pride and self-esteem. And this is something he was doing in his previous life. Again, what the fuck was going on with the Shen family?!

I don't think this is the way a man that is satisfied with his lot in life would think.

Shen Qingqiu was a man of few needs; he would have been satisfied just idling away to a ripe old age. In that way, it wouldn’t be that different from how his previous life had been going.

youre LIYING. I'm not going to trust anything you said about yourself EVER AGAIN. you were so satisfied to "idle your life away" you died from eating expired yogurt! you were clearly repressed and depressed and unhappy and pretending to be okay!

#svsss #svsss meta #shen qingqiu #zykamiliah-svsss #shen yuan #i'm never shutting up about sqq

[sweetkpopmusings]

joshua best friend headcanons <3

a/n: this best friends series is giving me so much serotonin, and i love to see others enjoying it!! joshua is so cringe (said lovingly) and i am so very fond of him :,-) my break from work is over after today, so my posts will probably not be as frequent, but i promise this series will continue !! pics not mine <3

content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!joshua x gn!reader | requests: open

he's the type of best friend that sees you two as a team

yes, he refers to you both as "the dream team" constantly

and he says it with his whole chest each time

like when one of his members asks what he did on the break, he'll answer "oh, y'know, just got the dream team back together"

they just respond (probably preceded by an eyeroll) "how's y/n doing?"

they're so unfazed by it but they'll tease him about it if you're around. if you join them at an event or a hangout, when you walk in the room they'll cheer because "the dream team is back together again!!!"

they're so dramatic but shua is eating it up actually

unironically will ask you, "is he bothering you, queen/king/my liege?"

he thinks it's so funny like it doesn't matter if you think it's funny he will stick with that bit forever

because he actually does care if people or things are bothering you

he will ask you how you are doing all the time

and he wants genuine answers

he'd never push you or anything like that, but he isn't asking you out of politeness or routine

as your best friend, he is dedicated to your wellbeing

he's so invested in supporting you

if you're trying to overcome a problem, develop a new skill, or complete some random 30-day challenge, joshua is right behind you the whole time

he'll send you encouraging messages, look out for tips he can send your way, and sometimes he'll even take part in it himself!!

truly a great cheerleader to have in your life :,-)

creates traditions for you two

he knows that life is wild and it can be hard to get together and talk as much as you want to

so he ensures that, regardless of what's going on, you two have things that bring you together

it could be based on a shared interest! maybe you both really like this one youtube channel, so you always watch the new content together

i would not be surprised in the slightest if he signed y'all up for silly subscription boxes

like yes there's a monthly service that sends you mini science experiments and yes joshua got you both a year-long plan and yes he expects "shua & y/n's science session" to be a whole event every time

it was somewhat of a joke at first because shua loves being ridiculous but you both ended up loving it so much that you looked forward to each new box

he's very protective of you <3

he's always looking out for you, so he is pretty invested in how people treat you

whether it's in the workplace, in your friend circles, in romantic relationships, and even in your family (bio, chosen, or otherwise)

he wouldn't meddle in your relationships, but he's not afraid to speak up if someone is not treating you with the respect and care you deserve

he always respects your decisions, but he will never hold back an opinion that is for your benefit.

he won't get mad if you disagree with him either like he's the king of promoting autonomy, agency, and self-respect <333

he works hard to earn your trust, which is why you trust his judgment

and he goes to you for the same thing

he nevers wants you to beat around the bush with him

your bond is too special for superficial pleasantries like that

you both know each other so well that it only makes sense to be transparent with one another

which is why he'll come to you with some of his biggest concerns, insecurities, etc

because you're the one person who can see him for who he is without him worrying about putting on a persona or performance

and he's so grateful to you for that, more than he could ever express

so after a heart-to-heart he'll just look you directly in the eyes and say a soft yet strong "thank you"

and then make a lil joke because whoa it got real serious and he's a lighthearted guy

takes a lot of pictures of you / you two together !

he will send you the pictures where you are making a funny face and threaten to use it as blackmail <3

if you try to do the same he'll just go "good luck, i'm beautiful in everything :-)"

and you're like yes but have you considered you're also an idiot <3

runs ideas by you for weird things he can do to shock his members

he knows the water bits always kill, but he's looking to take things to the Next. Level. so he's scheduling a meeting with you to walk through his bit prototypes and maybe even doing some trial runs with you

he's taking it so seriously and you're like wow you're a dumbass and he's like "thank you so much so what was your rating on the tearaway pants trick again?"

boy has a clipboard and everything i swear

joshua is just such a funny and strange guy who wants to add value to your life because you bring so much to his!! he'll always be there for you, rain or shine, and he reminds you constantly of how special you are :,-)

joshua if you're taking applications for besties please let me know and i'll submit my resume asap!!!

#seventeen #seventeen headcanons #bestfriend!seventeen #seventeen imagines #svt #joshua #seventeen joshua #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #joshua x reader #joshua fluff #svt joshua #svt headcanons #seventeen au #svt au #joshua hong #sweetkpopmusings

[9800sblog]

mingi tarot reading

persona vs personality

do I have his energy permission to do and share this reading? 2 of cups

mingi said he has a clear division, that in public he sells a fantasy and a performance.

in front of cameras, bosses, fans and other celebrities

in general, he likes to be impressive and because he's so inspired by hip-hop, he wants to look like a bad boy, a player, like he's trouble. he likes to look messy, like he isn't trying hard, that he's naturally that cool, he shows off money and possessions very casually, to not look like he cares, he has no cares. but he also likes the story of a small guy in a big world, he only tells the struggles he's already survived and fixed, this way, he shows how strong and powerful he is. I think he gets a bit embarrassed in front of cameras still, because he's actually trying a lot and planning and thinking and researching (he said that privately he's a nerd and a loser kkkkkkkkk). with the queen of cups, he likes to show that he's in control of his emotions and sensitive to others' emotions, polite, nice and likeable, charming. with bosses, mingi likes to be a fun presence that reminds them of a problem child, I think he enjoys being taken care of and getting away easily when he actually has big trouble. ateez doesn't seem to have many celebrity friends (or any friends except for themselves) and it's basically what we see on camera. but he likes opportunities with successful people to exchange advice and learnings. in work events and ceremonies where he is around them, mingi likes to be calm, self composed and look successful, a quiet type of success. now, when around fans, he tries to be funny and quirky and look open minded and non judgmental, so they can feel comfortable with him. there's also the classic boyband fantasy, where every fan is special, the love of his life and he wants you desperately, only you! it doesn't seem he enjoys it, with the king of swords reversed + 8 of pentacles reversed, he thinks it's manipulative and gives him a bad reputation, it's easy money and disrespectful to himself, to the fans and the special people in his life. the other cards say he's often bored, apathetic or just sad when interacting one on one, but it's just how things have always been done and he doesn't have the power to change it alone. it seems that he wants to be more honest, but he can't, he said "it's hard to be proud of yourself when you do such putrid work".

casually, at home and daily

mingi is really traditional, he likes being home and I don't see him going out at all, a homebody for sure. he is introspective and reevaluates his life and decisions, figuring out if they actually match with him on a real level. he's got a strong sense of right and wrong, he's quite lazy and overly dramatic. his faith plays a big part on him and his mentality, and he is thoughtful, he likes to learn from anything. he's such a sentimentalist, he romanticizes a lot, he's get very attached to things and people, and is probably the type to take many casual pictures and videos to watch his memories in the future. there is this one person mingi feels very close to, his true best friend, who he is very intensely emotionally connected to, he spends a lot of time with them, like a lot, from morning to night and then in his dreams, that's very sweet. he likes to be around this person because he feels grounded around them, and that's when his energy feels actually relaxed and comfortable. when around them, he is vulnerable, dedicated, attentive, detailed, easily accesses his shadow and works with them to fix it, this is a very safe energy and environment, I really like it, I'm happy he feels like that. it almost feels like therapy, but it's better and easier, he's a very healing presence in this energy, very comfortable and unbothered. he seems to still be obsessed with things from his childhood and love things that the target audience is children, it's lighthearted fun, he said.

#ateez #ateez tarot #kpop tarot #mingi

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ivy Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

Ivy: Thanks for your hard work, Kawanaga-san.

Rina: !?

I hear a voice coming from right beside me and turn around.

Rina: Oh, Ivy-san!

I was so close to Ivy-san all of a sudden that my body froze up.

Apparently, I had been so lost in thoughts that I didn't notice Ivy-san had come in.

Rina: W-welcome back.

Ivy: I'm home. I see you've already finished cleaning. What were you looking at?

Rina: Y-yes. That, uh ...

I was so taken by his neat beauty at close range that I could'nt speak.

(Too close ...!)

Perhaps sensing it, Ivy-san put some distance between us.

Ivy: Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you so much.

Rina: It's okay. I'm sorry I didn't notice you.

(It's too rude to not notice that the owner of the room has returned ...!)

It's also embarrassing that I overreacted and acted suspiciously again.

Without noticing my situation, Ivy-san shifted his gaze to my hands and made a surprised sound.

Ivy: The one for our first anniversary?

Rina: Once I started looking, I couldn't stop reading.

Rina: I found it all fascinating ... I wanted to see exe on stage in person.

Rina: The interview between Ivy-san and the foreign band is also very interesting.

The article earnestly describes Ivy-san's enthusiasm for his exe activities.

Rina: You get along with the band leader about how difficult it is to bring a team together.

Ivy: Haha, you're right. It was quite informative to hear about his experiences.

Ivy-san looked down at the article with nostalgia.

Ivy: I had to keep everyone together, and it was pretty overwhelming at the time.

Ivy: The exe members are very strong-willed, and at that time we had just made our debut, so we were all even more self-driven than we are now ...

Ivy: He was like "yes, yes. This happened to me once. I miss it."

Ivy-san flips through the pages of the magazine.

(You have kind eyes ...)

I guess he's a person who doesn't feel hardship in putting his heart and soul into helping his team.

In fact, he even somewhat seems happy.

Rina: You're kind of like an older brother.

Ivy: Me?

Rina: Yes. I feel like you take good care of me and you're always looking out for the other members.

Ivy: Well, I'm the oldest.

Ivy: Actually, I really do have a younger sister as well. Maybe that's why.

Rina: Really?

(He fits the image perfectly. I bet he's a kind brother.)

And when we were talking about it ...

Sakura Eito: Ivy, are you in? I'd like to have a meeting about your upcoming performance with Gem.

After knocking, it was Sakura-san and the members of Gem Cuddle who entered the room.

Hitaki: Hmm? I think you're the one from the other day ...

Nagi: You seriously moved in?

Miu: Heh, wow.

Rina: I look forward to working with you.

Miu: I don't care about that! I heard it, Ivy-san!

Hitaki: i heard that you are going to distribute your song "exe" worldwide at the upcoming M-fest.

Nagi: That's a hell of a special treat, isn't it?

Miu: It's not fair even though we are in the same office. I wish you would do the same for us, Eito-san!

Sakura Eito: Don't be unreasonable, it's just like that.

Rina: Um, what is global distribution?

Ivy: Actually ...

... they're now working on a music program to distribute exe's stage to the world.

We were also told that exe would distribute the video on its official website and through video distribution services.

(I say this lightly, but worldwide distribution is awasome ...)

Sakura Eito: We're short on staff because of the short notice, so we're trying to get people together as quickly as possible.

Ivy: Hey, Eito, how about having her help you?

Rina: Eh!

Surprised by the suddenness of the situation, Ivy-san turned to me with a serious look on his face.

Ivy: If you want to get to know exe, I think it's a great opportunity to get involved as a staff member.

Ivy: Besides, didn't you just say you wanted to see us live?

Rina: Thank you for consideration.

Ivy: I don't need any thanks, I just thought it would be better that way.

Sakura Eito: I'd be grateful for that. I was originally planning to have Kawanaga-chan help me in the office as well.

This is a precious apportunity that Ivy-san gave me. There's no way to pass it up.

Rina: Thank you!

Sakura Eito: Okay, it's settled.

Ivy: Good luck.

Rina: Yes!

Then Miu-san, who had been watching us, interrupted us.

Miu: Is that really okay? Everyone at a live concert is always in a panic.

Miu: She's kind of vague, and I'm worried she won't be able to keep up with the groove of the scene.

Rina: !

(Does that mean I seem dull?)

Ivy: Miu, you're being disrepectful to her.

Miu: Oh, sorry. It's not that you can't do your job.

Miu: The clothes aren't very bright, but they seem to be easy to move around in. I think it's really great, just like the staff!

His words pierced my heart.

(It's not so bright ...)

Rina: I will do my best not to fail.

Rina: I already cleaned up, so I'm going to gow now ...

I managed to push the words out of my mouth and left the room as if to escape.

Ivy: Ah, Kawanaga-san ...!

Rina: Hah ...

(Dull, huh? Sure, I'm wearing comfortable cleaning clothes right now.)

(This is no time to be depressed. I just got the job!)

I was once again fired up to do my best to help with the distribution.

A few days later, the day of the the music show arrived.

(A large venue.)

They're going to have a live concert here today, and they're going to broadcast it on their music program.

As a member of the office staff, I ran around as directed.

Staff 1: Camera check complete. Intercom sensitivity is good.

Staff 1: Okay, everything is ready for distribution. Can you please tell Sakura-san?

Rina: Okay!

When i went to Sakura-san and the other members on the side of the stage ...

Finn: Why not? It's definitely better that way.

Xeno: There is no way they would approve such an abrupt change.

(What's going on?)

Sakura Eito: Hm? Kawanaga-chan, whyt's wrong?

Rina: I'm here to tell you that we're ready for distribution. Is there something wrong?

Ivy: Yeah, a little trouble.

Finn: I just suggested we change the choreography.

Finn: I wanted to create a highlight for each member, with an improvised solo part in between.

Hugh: It's ... cool ...

Xeno: It would be impossible to make any changes after rehearsals are over. The production has already been completed.

Jace: Hmm, there's no need to change it now, is it?

Sakura Eito: I agree. It's too risky.

Finn: We can handle it, can't we? It's better to change it!

Xeno: We can't let your ideas destroy the stage.

Finn: Dou you think I'm just saying that without reason?

(What should I do ... in such a nasty atmosphere before the show.)

That's what I'm thinking ...

Ivy: You two need to calm down a little.

Ivy-san tried to appease the two.

Ivy: Finn knows it's hard to make big changes now.

Ivy: But still, Finn must have a reason to propose his idea at this time.

Finn: Oh! Because it's a different stage today, isn't it?

Ivy: I mean, it's a special stage, you want to make it a little more exciting?

Finn: Yes! I came to this venue, I felt the athmosphere ... and I thought ...

Finn: If it's a special one-time distribution, we want to give a special performance, don't we?

Finn: Fans from all over the world will see it at the same time. That's definitely going to make them happy.

Jace: Oh, to please the fans? Is that what this is all about?

Xeno: Special performance for fans, huh?

Ivy: I agree with Finn, it would be more special if we had more to showcase.

Xeno: That's true, but it would throw the whole structure off.

Ivy: Yeah, so here's a suggestion ...

It was a good balance of including a solo part and incorporating Finn-san's suggestions, while still maintaining the overall direction.

Finn: Not bad.

Hugh: Sounds interesting ...

Jace: I like it.

Xeno: With that format, the stage will have a special feel. Disturbances in the production are tolerable.

Ivy: Okay, let's go with that.

Finn: Okay! Sorry Ivy. Thank you for explaining it so well.

Ivy: Okay, that's all.

Ivy: Okay, it's decided, we'll go through it once to make sure it's right. We don't have much time left before the show. Let's go for it!

Ivy-san claps his hands and the members of exe immediately started moving.

Sakura Eito: Looks like you'll be fine. As expected of Ivy.

Rina: That's great.

Perhaps noticing my respectful gaze, Ivy-san turns to me.

Ivy: Good luck to you too.

Rina: Y-yes. I'm sure you'll do well on the show!

Ivy: Thank you.

Rina: !

He smiled at me, and my heart thudded.

The way they dressed up in their stage costumes and left the venue so quickly was truly the essence of a super idol.

Ivy-san instantly understood what Finn-san was thinking.

The fact that he communicated this to everyone and created an atmosphere for discussion is a testament to his understanding of the members.

(Even the irritated members were listening to what Ivy-san had to say. That's what a leader should do.)

(And on top of that, he cares about me ... I can see why everyone is a fan. You really are a wonderful person.)

(Okay! I'll get to work too!)

When I returned to work and told the staff that there had been a change in the choreography, they seemed a little confused.

Staff 1: Solo? I can't put it all on the stream.

Staff 2: It's a shame.

I hear such blurbs.

(Certainly, you want to take a closer look at each person's highlight. If that's the case ...)

Rina: Um, do you have a spare camera?

Staff 1: I've got one. What about it?

Rina: I have suggestion ...

The show finally began, despite all of this.

Audience: Kyaaa!

Rina: ...ng!

Seeing exe live on stage for the first time, I was overwhelmed.

(Awesome ...!)

The singing and dancing were flawless. I can't believe there was a last minute change.

In the frenzied atmosphere, my gaze was naturally drawn to Ivy-san.

Ivy-san's dancing and singing are not outstanding among the exe members ...

(Even so, the level is quite high, even an amateur can tell.)

His presence seems to keep the members, who tend to run when the mood strikes them, in good harmony.

(It's just like a balancer ...)

Above all, all of his songs fit exe better than ever.

(He is an amazing person who can perform so well and write songs on top of it.)

I was so impressed again ...

Ivy-san's figure shines like an idol. However--

(I think the expression on Ivy-san's face is different from just now.)

I felt a sense of discomfort, as if his smile wasn't the gentle, reassuring smile he often shows people.

The concert ended with great excitement.

And--

I would recall this feeling of discomfort many times as I got to know him better.

#morganatic idol #morudoru #morudoru ivy #resa translates something for once?

[rikeijo]

Random stuff again...

Quite interesting how different Yuuri is described in English (limited edition booklet) and in Japanese (first Blu-ray/DVD booklet, translation mine)... I was expecting to find the same text, but:

Eng Yuuri Katsuki

"A skater with a sensitive glass heart who has a love for katsudon - pork cutlet bowls - which are not ideal for a skater's figure at 900000 calories!

Yuri is Japan's top skater who is highly trained with a unique skating rhythm and impressive step routines. Anxious and self-conscious, his biggest struggle is overcoming the pressure he puts on himself to perform well - which leads him to lose in one of the most important games, the Grand Prix Final. After graduating from school in Detroit, where he also trained, he returns home to Hasetsu-Cho, Kyushu after five years. Still recovering from his huge loss, Yuri decides to put everything into one final season. But he'll find it be more of a challenge that expected!"

Jp Yuuri Katsuki

His dearest wish came true when he qualified to compete in the Grand Prix Final, but he finished in the last place. A 23-years-old, who after the GFP, ended the season without being able to show his real strength at Nationals. He is called the "Heart of Glass" and even though he doesn't have a high success rate at landing quadruple jumps, he is well-known for his unique sense of rhythm he uses in his step sequences. He was even rumored to be retiring soon, but with Victor Nikiforov as his new coach, he aims to win at the Grand Prix Final in his last season.

His true self is a surprisingly competitive virile son of Kyushu. His problem is that he can't believe in himself, but because he practiced really hard to make up for it, he got the title of "Japan's Ace". He puts on weight easily, so he made the decision to only eat his favorite dish, katsudon (900kcal), after he wins in a competition. His history of romantic love experiences is completely secret.

[Notes:

Virile son of Kyushu (九州男児, Kyushu danji) - men from Kyushu are often described as single-minded, strong-willed and daring, but also quick-tempered, difficult to understand, egocentric and there's also that thing we see in the show with Yuuri and Mari... e.g. there's that scene when she asks Yuuri to help her clean the room for Yurio and Yuuri just ignores that and goes out to skate instead of helping her... There is also like 0 suggestions he ever helps at the onsen (well, his mum did ask him to shovel the snow after he sleeps late, but he probably didn't even do that in the end, because Victor...). Something like that is also a part of 九州男児 image... men being very spoiled, in a sense, used to having things done for them. In extreme cases, men just won't ever enter the kitchen, and expect women to always go one step behind, but of course, at present this isn't common.

That part about Yuuri's love history (恋愛経験は完全非公開) being completely secret is also interesting... It's one of the biggest sources of "...???" in Jp fandom hehe ✨✨ (Yuuuuuri, what have you been doing...?)

Of course, the reason why they didn't just translate the original text was probably just to make the character appear more interesting to somebody who would read that text in English, that's how adaptation works. Still, I find it interesting that they decided to omit some things, so I thought I'd share! 🌺]

#yuri on ice #yuuri katsuki #random official stuff

[namig42]

random OC ask: what is something about your OC that people wouldn't expect from looking at them?

what are the preconceived notions people might form or have formed about them? how does your OC respond to those notions?

Wyndolyn

Wyndolyn has always had an intimidating face. It comes with the orc territory, after all. Half-orcs are naturally prone to intimidation, so most people assume that Wyndolyn is agressive and scary. Wyndolyn has dealt with these notions for so long that she has simply accepted the assumptions and will lean into them, but in actuality, she's very soft-hearted. She cares too much about others and will do anything to help others, especially if they are kind in return.

People also don't assume that she's an animal person since they think she'd probably scare creatures off immediately or try to eat every animal that crosses her path, but Wyndolyn loves animals. She preferred the company of woodland creatures during her childhood more so than people since animals could sense her true nature underneath her scary face.

Helena

Helena is tall and often silent, so most people probably assume she's cool and mysterious, but really, she's just shy and has anxiety when it comes to interacting with people. She is actually quite silly and playful, though she's fine with people thinking that she's cool and intimidating, since it's a better persona to reflect and makes it easier to keep others away so she doesn't have to interact with people.

Dahlia

Dahlia is incredibly tall and strong for a human, and so people tend to think of her as quite stoic and quiet. She is also a monk, so people assume she is very devout and is very strict about her followings. Though Dahlia values the beliefs and ideals of Lathander and was happy in her monastery, she actually loves to learn and becomes very talkative when discussing interesting topics she can discuss on a intellectual level. Once she gets started talking about an interesting subject or story, it is hard to get her to stop. Her book collection is also very atypical for a monk, holding stories from all sorts of cultures and telling about all sorts of fascinating events throughout history. The older monks back at her home monastery often looked down on Dahlia's reading habits, though since she was responsible in all her other studies and duties, they did not stop her from pursuing her interests.

Vero

Vero has always - at least from the time she can remember - tried to project this elegant, poised persona. Though she doesn't know where this desire came from, she feels best when people think of her as regal. Most people only see this version of her and assume that she is naturally that way, but she also has sides to herself that are a bit more boisterous and immature. She is a bard that loves performance, sometimes bursting out into song on a whim because she wants to make music and even more often get attention, though most don't think of her as the attention-seeking sort. Her persona is a way to get the kind of attention she craves and assert herself as someone who's powerful, charming, and alluring. Though she already is naturally admired by most, she doesn't want others to think of her as her actual, unpolished self, but the cool, competent version that she thinks is worthy of respect and admiration.

Sahed

Most people see a gold dragonborn and assume that Sahed is a force of good and honor. Unfortunately, that is not the case, though Sahed uses these assumptions to his advantage to charm and deceive people towards his goals. Considering how well he performs and how menacing and conniving he can be, most people would never see the soft-hearted boy underneath all his awful deeds that simply wants to be like the creatures he admires. His desire for power and knowledge is all to emulate the things he admires most in the world, though he would never let anyone close enough to learn that secret of his. He won't even admit it to himself.

Velora

Most see Velora as plain and uninteresting, though she's actually quite lovely and kind when she has the opportunity to be. Most see her as someone dedicated to her work, not expecting her to have hobbies or passions outside of her healing and the ideals of Selune, but Velora actually enjoys many things including nature, flowers, a bit of cooking (she loves making bread, though she's only okay at it), and making jewelry (she loves long, dangly necklaces especially).

Gardon

As a red dragon, most expect Gardon to be a chaotic evil beast, and ever since he was cursed with dark magic, he has found himself trapped in that mindset. In actuality, he is very intelligent and admires his greatest enemies, wanting to emulate the ideals of gold dragons and the idea of honor and valor more than meaningless chaos. However, since he's compelled to destroy and inflict suffering on those around him, no one would ever think to associate Gardon with the idea of good. He's even given in and accepted his evil actions, though he loathes himself everyday knowing that he wants to be better.

---

I included Gardon in this too because I'd like to explore his character more since he's a fascinating, conflicted creature. As always, thank you for another fun ask!

#mine #ocs #long post #wyndolyn #helena #dahlia #vero #sahed #velora #gardon #ask

[lawhurt]

alright welcome to jamie & beth class kiddos.

do i think jamie was justified in doing what he did to beth. no. do i think it was good, no. do i think there's any 'excuse' for doing what he did? no. do i think beth should forgive him? no. do i think beth should love him, or even be nice to him, in a general sense? no. i think she has a right to hate jamie and there's lots of things jamie could have done to try and make things right -- but he never did. and that's entirely, 100% on him. he did something irrevocable to his sister and that is 100% not okay.

i love beth as a character. i love strong females as one myself, and i love a women like her. i always have. that's why i encouraged my fiance to write her, and i do see so much of her in beth. i adore beth's dynamics with the characters on the show, and while i can't pretend i understand the fact that she's willing to lose the ranch, just to do whatever her father says at any given moment, i really couldn't care less if she's a nice person or not. i couldn't give a fuck, i think she's kickass and she's one of my favorite parts of the show / part of why i got invested. i remember her first scene and i loved her, no matter how much how she treats jamie can make me upset. but i ultimately have no way of knowing how she feels.

but i don't wanna hear that she's exempt from being a horrid, shrewd cunt because jamie did that, and her mother died. if i did half the things to my abuser that she did i would be in jail and the only reason she isn't is because of her name, and because she calls jamie because she knows he has to help her. do you know why? because even if someone hurts you, you cannot fucking spend the next three decades physically and mentally and verbally abusing someone. perhaps if he was the one performing the procedure and you killed him in self defense. but there's no self defense claim unless he presented a threat. and because jamie won't fucking call anyone, he won't defend himself.

not only does she beat him, break him down mentally, verbally put him down and emasculates him in front of people who need to respect him, and she told him to kill himself. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE IS THREATENING TO HARM OR KILL HIS CHILD. AN INNOCENT TODDLER.. SHE MADE HIM KILL HIS OWN FATHER. THREATENED to take away any happiness he may have in his life, when she is allowed to have a husband and an adoptive son? their father? that kind of behavior on here would not garner the kind of fandom obsession that she does, LET ME TELL YOU. if i'm expected (and do openly) accept and not grapple with jamie's flaws, people must do the same for beth. i don't fucking care, i don't care.

you cannot, and will not convince me that a lifetime of abuse from 18 to forty FUCKING FIVE is justified by what he did. that's not how anything works.

i'm not mad about the plot-line or how the show treats jamie, bc i find wes gives him such an emotion. but this fandom likes to pretend that beth is so girlboss for doing what she does to jamie when it's just kind of pathetic to see her just bark at jamie now because "she knows everything and he knows nothing" (like how filing power of attorney works a-fucking-pparently) and he can't convince her of shit even tho she knows he's right. but he's the selfish one for not telling their dad exactly what he wants to hear at any given moment.

also what she did to rip is just in a whole nother league of fucked up and she doesn't deserve his forgiveness lmfao.

EDIT: she also blackmailed him lolol

#wendy testaburger voice: I'M FINISHED #§. ⸻ ᵐᵒʳᵍᵃ�� › ᵒᵒᶜ

[nightswithkookmin]

Did you watch the recent Run BTS episode? It filled me with such joy.

They're such a bunch of chaotic individuals when they're together in that environment. My brain is out of practice speed reading the multiple translations! 😆

The editors of Run BTS are *chefs kiss*. Hobi & Namjoon are their biggest victims.

And JK imitating Bam, then Jimin immediately calling him 'Bamie'. 🥰 Plus JK's, "Is he leaving? What did he say?" My delulu mind is convinced JK went to Lotte World because he thought that's where Jimin would go. 🤭

Mi love your brain

Okay, I'm finna watch it😆

If you are free now let's have a watch party 🥳

I'll just keep updating this post with my live reaction.

LET'S GOOOOO

Aaaaaaaaahhhh- NOT THIS SONG PLAYING AT THE START! LAWD I'M IN MY FEEELSSSSS!!!!

HOLD. I need to twerk on the beat!

RUN BULLET PROOF RUN RUN BULLET PROOF

Enough time has passed to make a baby?? Boy if you don't stop🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No but JUNGKOOK?💀

This is such a weird habit to have not gonna lie. Change Jimin's position in a line up and he would almost always so naturally and so unconsciously turn to face him. That's his north star 🌟 right there. This is too much for me to handle🤧

PARK JIMIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Let me play the beast to your beauty!

Lets role play. I'll wear red you wear blue🥺

Naa JIMIN! ITS JUST ONE MINUTE IN.

YALL COME GET YOUR BIAS!

Literally one minute in and he's already feeding into Jungkook's praise Kink. SO SICKENING. For a "submissive gay looking guy" he sure knows how to TOP💀

Just one of these days Jimin will look into the camera and tell me I'm a good girl naughty kitten. Fingers crossed on the universe. It will happen. Thank you baby Jesus for an answered prayer. In Jesus' name, Mwah

Eh????

Where is everyone?? OK. I'm taking a break. Brb

Sorry, I took a long bathroom break- which is a lie but imma need yall to believe it- so let's carry on.

I love how JM talks about growth and just how pragmatic and realistic he is in assuming change is erratic and inevitable. People change in the minutetest of ways every second. Yet some people in the Fandom hold them to their past selves everyday, adamant to accept they may feel different about certain "friendship" bonds they formed at the inception of their band, may have gotten used to or over their fear of intimacy and now can let themselves be vulnerable in a way that doesn't threaten their sense of self, may have recoiled a bit and found a new appreciation for their privacy and overall might know the script a little bit better now to control the narrative.

And the contrast between Jikook is marvelous. Its been so long I forgot how merely watching them on screen feels so wholesome. Look how effortlessly JM exudes such wild dark feminine enery which is usually in his resting face but can switch it up into this aegyo childlike character sprinkled with performative innocent- yet he is far from innocent. A power damsel is what he is.

Contrastinly, you have Jungkook who for all intent and purposes looks far from innocent, strong, traditionally "MASCULINE" but has such an innocent almost childlike soul. I want to hug them both.

[Aside. You guys, this is weird huh? I'm shy sharing my raw thoughts with you like this☺ This is how people start thinking I'm weird and shit but I'm just a very passionate person]

Update.

There's something really warm and humbling about Namjoon asking Jungkook for answers and telling him he is so smart.

Oops. There it is, the OT7 Jungkook praise chorus🤣🤣🤣

I swear if he doesn't have a praise Kink he's certainly being conditioned to develop one🤣🤣🤣🤣

GOLDY

[lookbluesoup]

I think something that gets overlooked a lot in the nuance of whether people are supposed to comment/interact with people's fics and art is that... enjoying interaction and being motivated by it is not the same as being utterly destroyed and depressed by a lack of interaction. Lemme talk about how the kudos-craze affected me, personally.

Before anyone pulls out the "oh you're just such'n'such kind of writer you don't know what it feels like to be on the other side" I have been both an obscure writer with little engagement and one that was big enough to get multiple pieces of gift art/fics for my ocs.

This was the kind of stuff I got for my Fallout fics back in the day:

This is what I've been getting on my FFXIV stuff:

So... yes. It's been an adjustment changing fandoms to one that is arguably much bigger and finding I'm getting much less interaction.

Initially, back in the Fallout fandom, I was writing very personal stories, just for me, and then sharing them with people online in case they resonated with others. Getting interaction now and then was nice. And this worked great. I was writing because I enjoyed the process, connected with the characters, wanted to know what would happen next.

But as I got more and more attention, I ended up feeling a LOT of pressure to perform. And I ultimately spent so much time staring at my open drafts, worrying about whether I was writing something other people would like because I was so afraid of disappointing my followers, that I couldn't actually write anymore or enjoy creating.

That's one of those points where wanting kudos/comments/etc becomes unhealthy, and you need to take a step back from it.

I've had a lot of therapy since then. I've built some stronger, healthier relationships with people I trust, and don't feel that pressure as much anymore because I have a more stable sense of self worth. I'm not perfect about it, but I'm learning.

I think it's often brushed over by people who are in the kudos-dont-define-you camp (it even was by me, for many years), but, yes, we tell stories because we want attention. We want to reach people. Even if we have a strong internal sense of self and aren't insecure about whether there's interaction on our fics... most of us, I think, are still posting in hopes our words reach someone else, even if we don't ever know for sure that they did. I even met my now partner of two years through fic, and the wonderful comments he left on my Ao3. So I'm the last person who should be dissing the incredible power stories have for connecting people.

It should also be noted, however, that using "number go up" as a way to get happiness and motivation is scientifically proven to be harmful to creativity. They did studies with children where kids were given points for reading books, the more books they read the more points they got, and they would be rewarded for points milestones. But when that study ended, and the points system was removed? Even the kids who used to read for fun before the challenge stopped reading. Because their brains had been trained, very quickly, to be reward motivated rather than to just enjoy reading for its own sake. They didn't enjoy something they used to like anymore, and that's extremely sad.

Social media capitalizes on this, basically addiction behavior, and as creators we do need to be aware of how our brain works. It's so, so easy to fall into the mindset where writing or drawing is only worth it if we're getting flower petals back, and to end up trapped in a place where we can't even create for ourselves anymore. The goalpost is always moving, in this situation, because we're always comparing our numbers to others, or to previous posts, or just saying its not enough to hurt ourselves and always needing more. It doesn't end up being about the quality or the sincerity of the interaction.

So while it's good, completely ok, to want comments, kudos, reblogs, whatever, and to enjoy getting them, and to be motivated by them... if not getting them is causing you to spiral into disappointment and depression to such an extreme degree that you don't even like your own stories and characters anymore, consider, without shame, whether your brain has been tricked into equating numbers with self-worth.

I wish people would stop using shame as a bludgeon, though I understand there's a lot of frustration on both sides, too, and that's valid. But attacking people who are too nervous to comment on fics, and attacking people who want comments and to connect with people, are both not going to solve anything. They'll just create defensiveness and hurt.

I have seen some people say they don't even read fics anymore because they don't always have the energy to leave a thoughtful comment afterwards and they feel stressed about not giving anything to the author. So they don't read the author's writing at all because they can't do it the "correct" way. A lot of posts demanding comments and holding updates for fics hostage have hurt readers and added anxiety to the process of even taking part in fandom, and that's not healthy either. I'd much rather someone be able to read my fic, enjoy it, and say nothing to me. Because that way someone did still get to enjoy it.

While I love getting interaction, nice comments can have me smiling for days or months or years, and have allowed me to meet some incredible people, I'll continue to preach that comments and kudos are never an obligation. Readers don't have to interact with my stuff, and they don't have to give me a reason why. There's a lot of reasons why people don't leave those and most of them are benign.

#ao3 #fandom #text #long post #wyn gabs #mental health #writing

[thedragonagelesbian]

Know, Mentor, and First :)

oc asks: relationship edition

i was so hoping someone would send know, thank you <33

(also love that there's no specification of which oc i should be answering this for. we all know.)

Know: How well does your OC know themself—their wants, their goals, their motivations? Do they engage in any sort of self-reflection? Is there anything about themself they willfully ignore?

Cyrus only knows himself in relation to others. Strip away his sense of service, duty, obligation, oath, take him off of the battlefield and peel off all the armor and clean away all the blood he gave so no one else would have to, and his grasp of self becomes tenuous at best.

What's so fascinating to me about him is that that exterior selfhood isn't like... a mask or a performance, per se, because I think those terms imply a level of deception or intention, and it's not that for Cyrus. He genuinely, earnestly believes that the whole of himself is defined by what he can give to others. But there's also something artificial about that belief insofar as he's never stopped to question it or evaluate it. He's just always accepted it on faith alone. It Is him but it's also just slightly outside of him, if that makes any sense at all??

Which also ties into his lack of self-reflection. My boy has 8 wisdom introspection is very much NOT his strong suit, and a lot of the time, when he's ignoring some part of himself (his grief, his anger, his overprotectiveness), it's not a conscious choice but something that grows out of that lack of self-awareness.

Even when it comes to physical pain, his instinct to minimize it is just that: it's reflexive, involuntary, it doesn't even register to him as enduring a suffering that he doesn't have to. Much to the profound consternation of the healers who keep falling in love with him.

Mentor: Does your OC have a mentor? Have they ever reached out to anyone for guidance or teaching, or been taken under someone's wing? How does your OC get along with their mentor?

I think of Cyrus as self-taught in most regards, and that inability (largely imagined in DA2, actual in BG3) to rely on any adult or mentor figure is a huge part of why he's Like This.

In DA2, the closest thing he had to a mentor was the elder/hahren of the Amaranthine alienage, where he grew up. Elder Ischia was a wonderful community leader, someone Cyrus grew up wanting to emulate. When he and his family had to flee the city, she gave him a bone-hilt dagger--his first weapon--as a means of feeling like he had some agency and control in the midst of so much helplessness. He carries that dagger with him for the rest of his life, and many of his most important kills are carried out with it (including Anders :) ).

Also, across any timeline, Cyrus idolizes the crap out of his father as exactly the kind of man he wants to be. The paragon of masculinity that Cyrus, as a trans man, is trying to live up to. Sometimes, wearing Malcolm's memory is a gift. Sometimes, it feels like another miserable expectation.

First: Has your OC ever been the one to leave first? Why did they go, and who did they leave behind? Do they regret it?

Cyrus is so bad at leaving and letting go, but two instances across his two games come to mind:

In DA2, he leaves Bethany behind when he goes on the Deep Roads expedition. This decision was 1000% born out of him thinking it would be too dangerous for his sister. Bethany was outraged by it, and Cyrus came to regret it terribly when he returned home to find her being taken to the Gallows. For years, he maintained the belief that he had failed and abandoned Bethany by not trying harder to break her out of the Circle-- despite being told again and again that it wouldn't work, not least because Bethany didn't want to live her life on the run anymore. He eventually gets it through his thick skull, but there's a reason Bethany decides to stay with Isabela and Fenris instead of him at the end of everything.

In BG3, I have... many. Many. Many. Unresolved and free-floating thoughts about breaking up with Astarion at the party, particularly in light of the Act 2 reveal about the circumstances under which Astarion initiates that relationship. It's a tricky period to talk about precisely because Astarion is being so withholding and performative and Cyrus very naively takes it at face value (again, 8 wisdom, coming in under astarion's otherwise utterly average 10 charisma). Cyrus thinks he's following Astarion's lead and expectations, but Astarion himself doesn't know what or how to want and is instead trying to mirror Cyrus' want back to him, but Cyrus is bad at wanting things for himself, so........................................

Idk. I think about the mirror scene a lot-- Cyrus opening with the sweeter answer, but then flipping to straightforward confirmation of Astarion's beauty when he snaps that the former isn't what he's looking for.

Cyrus ultimately approaches that conversation at the party thinking they have the same understanding of what their relationship is/was: something casual, purely physical, and devoid of sentimentality. He's not wrong, necessarily-- from Astarion's perspective, this was all a ploy anyway! A desperate survival technique, leaping immediately to a tried and true self-destructive tactic because if you can't keep the hero at arm's length, better to keep yourself in his good graces, right?

But... it's very easy to interpret Astarion's dialogue & Neil's performance during the breakup as evidence that he had started to develop the feelings that lead, in Act 2, to him wanting a genuine relationship.

Or, would have led to that, had Cyrus stayed.

#cyrus hawke #cyrus bg3 #thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ms-taurusvenus]

What Mason is Like IRL/Behind the Camera's

He exudes such confidence that it occasionally borders on arrogance/cockiness. He is bold and open to experimenting. fights for what he stands up for when his convictions are questioned. He is prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve his objectives, desires, and success. He needs to be careful when doing this or else he'll get caught due to him at times being sneaky, strategic, and cunning in terms of his career. However, he could also be slothful. He is finished once a cycle and an endeavour have been completed. With his loved ones, especially his family, he is fiercely devoted to and protective of them. He also nurtures and cares for them as well and wants to be able to take care of them.

Not always the best at taking criticism for things he's arrogant or self-assured about, which prevents him from getting him to his his fullest potential and constantly. This could explain why he performs well in some games but poorly in others, etc. (Or it could just be Potter being kinda shit IIBH). He might not be excellent at taking criticism, but it doesn't mean he won't try to improve. Good luck with that unless it's about something he's arrogant and confident about.  In general, quite open-minded. He is open to learning and improving himself. In general, fairly open-minded. He is open to learning and improving himself. He is conscious of his own errors and is prepared to correct them if he believes and realizes that they were made. He appreciates his own sense of independence as well as being busy and having things to do. He might also be very energetic, which would enable him to do his tasks more quickly. He like having a list of things to do but is also a free spirit who doesn't mind if they don't go as planned. Although, this could be due to him being indecisive. He is highly devout and upholds fairly traditional beliefs for his future family. Maybe he has a little spiritual?  Even though/if he doesn't put it into practise, he firmly believes in it. Has a very good intuition and believes in it. He is also fairly intelligent and frequently utilizes his intuition. Quite adept at concealing information (keeping secrets). He is very devoted to the causes he supports, loves, and believes in. Which makes sense considering how passionate he has always been to Chelsea.

He has the ability to get away with things and is quite cunning and clever. He may sometimes sneak up on individuals to acquire what he wants if necessary and get away with it because of his strong desires. If he is discovered, he can claim a justification to escape punishment. He might benefit from his insight in this. This relates to what I said previously about him doing whatever he needs to if the time comes sooner. In essence, he tends to seize opportunities and is kinda a opportunist. He might also be a competent liar. However, he won't harm or practice the behaviours mentioned to individuals he cares about, and he would only act in such a way if absolutely necessary. He maintains close bonds with the women in his life and  is connected to his feminine energy and doesn't hold a lot of toxic masculinity. He's a double Libra, so it's not surprising that he has some sense of fashion and beauty of his own. also appreciates finer things in life, such as high-end items and luxury goods. He loves a comfortable lifestyle and hopes to be able to preserve it for himself, his family, and his future family he may have. 

#mason mount #chelsea fc #tarot #tarot reading #football #football tarot #england nt #england national football team #premier league #mm19

[youarestellarverse]

[image description: a purple banner that has the words "work in progress" on it. end of description]

Epistolary fic: Percy's therapist's notes

Content warning: mentions of past suicidal ideation and abuse.

5:30 PM Sept 14th, 2011

P has been having a hard time since starting his senior year. Struggling to regulate his emotional response to seeing his ex in the halls/class/etc. Auditioned for school musical; typically gets leads, but is worried he bombed this one because A is stage manager. Adds that his platonic soulmate was also there, and that Soulmate's encouraging smile "lighting up the entire auditorium" is probably the only reason he didn't "freeze up, then run offstage weeping dramatically". 

(P is good with words. Very funny, natural storyteller. This surprises him; he was never encouraged to develop his talent because his LD was all any of his teachers focused on. Mom is a published author, which is unsurprising given the way he crafts a compelling narrative. He blushes, but seems pleased.) 

P states that it will be his 2nd time in Les Mis, after taking over as Gavroche for A when they were in 7th grade (not yet dating) and she injured her knee. Had no idea he could sing until after his 1st performance, when she scolded him for telling her he was tone deaf and keeping her up all night worrying. 

States that she's always teased him, but it's how she shows affection with everyone, and it only started getting a mean edge after she lost her "sort-of foster brother" last summer. Appears to dissociate for a few seconds. Apologizes and states he's not ready to talk about it yet, seems to feel guilty. Reminded him that he's in control and he can share as much or as little as he's ready to. He tears up, but quickly goes back to humor. (mental health crisis may have been triggered by more than just his first heartbreak.) 

Client jokes that at least he doesn't have to worry about stage kissing when A is on the crew and not in the cast. Elaborates that it's partly because of a stage kiss that she dumped him. Jokes again about irony. Continues to joke about his inability to remember the precise definition of the term. Laughs as he calls himself an idiot. Realizes that's "kind of fucked up". We discussed dark humor as a valid coping mechanism, and the line between 'dark' and 'harmfully self-critical'. 

P started working on values affirmation from last week, but misplaced the notebook he was using. Strong sense of guilt and shame around losing track of assignments; has been getting shamed for it since childhood by pretty much everyone but Mom. He idolizes her, says she is "the best person in the world" and that his behavioral issues "make her life pretty hard". 

P has a sense of guilt and shame around that, too, but says it's easier for him to shake it off. States that no matter how terrible his mood is, his mother can make him feel better just by walking into the room. 

Gave P a large-print handout on distress tolerance and went over some of the options. Homework is to try one the next time he sees A and starts to panic, or gets angry at himself while looking for the notebook containing the values affirmations. Also asked Client to try some creative writing, just for fun.

—

Appointment notes, 4:30 PM Sept 21st, 2011

P's affect is markedly more positive today. Higher energy, smiling. Reports that it's been a good week. Cast list went up Monday; P is excited to play Enjolras and work closely with his platonic soulmate (JG). Relieved he doesn't have to play a romantic storyline with a girl, admits he's "not sure what it says about [him]" that he's looking forward to implying one with JG. 

Discussed that JG is one of his favorite people just now, and makes him feel safe and supported. Not unusual to be happy about spending time doing something he enjoys with someone he loves. (P doesn't protest, but goes tense and quickly changes the subject. If he has romantic feelings for JG, he's either unaware or not ready to disclose.)

P believes his circle of close friendships is the silver lining of his abuse history. He states his worst trigger is witnessing any sort of bullying/abusive behavior, and his fight-or-flight response is fight. He sings a bit of Little People. Has a lovely "baritenor", as he calls it.

P states that he has jumped into a physical altercation to defend a complete stranger more than once, including his best friend G (which is how they met.) Got on a tangent about G's trauma history; redirected Client back to his own. He states that trying to fix other people's problems is how he copes, and that he is "astoundingly bad" at taking care of himself.

Brainstormed some ideas for self-care: calling G or JG to chat, playing guitar, journaling, taking a candlelit bath, listening to music, holding/playing with his baby sister, baking with Mom. Left appointment with a spring in his step. 

Tungle ate my post twice so no commentary. Sorry!

@elaborateruses @perseusjackson-jasongrace

#stellarverse #i wrote this #jercy #wip wednesday #happy barricade day #belatedly anyway

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hi! I'd like to request a matchup If it's not too much of a bother? If you are ever busy or tired, please feel free to ignore this request. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this! Have a great day or night.

In terms of looks: I'd say I'm somewhat on the chubbier side, I'm 5ft. I have over-the-shoulder straight black hair, I have dark brown eyes and I also wear glasses.

For personality: I'm quite timid around strangers and in public places such as; malls, which make me nervous when I'm by myself. But once I consider anyone a close friend, I am much more open and expressive. And I also have a tendency to make self-deprecating jokes.

Hobbies/Likes: I love to play puzzle games and VNs (visual novels) mainly otome games. I also love to sing and listen to all kinds of music. I also like to collect things (ex. hairclips, rocks & pins).

Dislikes: I really dislike it when someone doesn't fulfill their promises, I also dislike it when people don't honestly tell me their opinions/thoughts. Raw cabbage, it just tastes so bland and if it stays in my mouth for more than 5 minutes I feel like vomiting. bleugh! 🤢

anyways tysm for reading! 😊

Hello, thank you for the request! Sorry this is so late! But, the twst matchup that I have for you would be...

Jamil

Look, it's Scarabia!

If you need someone who is understanding of your jokes and interests, Jamil's the one! He's definitely someone that probably makes self-deprecating jokes too, and because of this he's in tune with your sense of humor. He won't joke about you though, since to him you aren't anything that you say you are negatively, but he still gets that those are jokes. If you don't like being in crowded places, I feel like Jamil will agree. Sure he's vice dorm leader of Scarabia and literally next to the energy ball that is Kalim all the time, but he prefers the quiet and small places. The two of you will likely take dates in similar places, perhaps an open park when there isn't a lot of people or a library.

You like music? He does too! He's a natural when it comes to the performing arts, and he's open to all kinds of songs. You should share him a playlist once, he might choose a song as his liking and play it for you one day. Not to mention, he's super good at dancing, so whenever you guys play a song you could convince him to teach you how to dance along to the rhythm. Please sing a song when he's around, I'm sure he'll love it! He really likes board games too, so you guys might hang out solving puzzles together. But something he doesn't know a lot about would be visual novels. He likes books, but you'll have to show him how a visual novel works. Jamil might actually like it in the end haha.

He's someone that always keeps promises, no matter what. You can rely on him for whatever you need, and any secret you have will be kept with him and only him. You're someone he cares deeply about, and because trust is an important part of a relationship, he'll do his best to keep a strong bond of trust and understanding with you. Yes he might have been wearing a mask when dealing with Kalim, but overall he's super honest (perhaps too blatant at times). You'll never have to worry about him lying to you, especially because he cares too much about you. Overall, he wants you to know that you're safe with him.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twst x reader #ask box #twst scarabia #scarabia x reader #scarabia headcanons #twst jamil #twst jamil viper #twst jamil x reader #jamil headcanons #twst matchups #twst matchup #matchups

[xanfeursel]

for the dark urge ask game, 1 10 11 21 for lophi and 6 7 21 30 for vyper?

HAHA... YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for this ask game

lophi questions:

1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

so, lophi's a bard, and i have this tied very much into her durge-isms. music was something she was always very passionate about as a child, and her first violin was a gift her foster parents had worked very hard for her to get. however it seemed that bad luck would follow her whenever she'd play, as much as she adored to. at first it was inconsequential things, like things falling or breaking while she'd practice.

until that eventually evolved into her music causing others to get violent, almost as if she was puppeteering them to cause their own demise, if that makes sense. like a fucked up pied piper. essentially what i'd assume bhaal's version of a bard would be. as she grew older and fit into her role as a bhaalspawn this would be a skill she'd learn to harness much more carefully, often posing as a humble street performer who'd be the single onlooker of episodes of mass hysteria around baldur's gate. something like that :-)

she also ends up as a college of swords bard, if only so that she can still cause some bloodshed by her own hands.

(putting the rest under a cut because otherwise this post would end up long LOL)

10. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole? 11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

answering both of these because they both play into the same element of lophi's character-- her need for control over herself. she doesn't even dislike the idea of killing, she just wants to be certain what she does is out of *her* own accord. not some dream visitor's, not some voice in her head telling her to kill.

she may not know much about her own self, but she knows enough that she doesn't like feeling like she's only serving as someone's puppet.

21. What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

LOVE THIS QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! using it as an excuse to share songs from her playlist. and share the lyrics that relate to her as well

Marionette - Scarlet Room

In a quiet heart Of a quiet wooden girl There's an imaginary box But it screams I am so sick of this world It owns me I am so sick of this world And she sings

2007 - You Love Her Coz She's Dead

Bang, bang goes a bullet to my head But it's already been eighteen minutes since I've realized I was dead Yeah, okay, so I've made a few mistakes in my life But I never knew they'd force me to pay such a heavy price

Flight of the Crows - Jharia

Well, I think that I've gotta go, and I don't know why But I need you to promise that you won't cry 'Cause you'll be fine, and so will I So just let me out of your mind In the morning you'll learn I disappeared off into the night so quietly That your love for me will vanish too

vyper questions:

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

god. he's like a lost dog. he's desperate to find answers and just some sliver of familiarity. he believes himself to be a paladin, and plays the role of one as such, but he doesn't even know what god he was devoted to, if he ever had any. this was a whole thing for vyper especially in act one. it's why i like to think he had some form of admiration for shadowheart before really learning about what being a shar follower entails. he admires how strong her faith is despite being in a somewhat similar position to his own.

Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

i think he gets the odd feeling of deja vu, but never anything concrete. it eats him up inside. he wishes he could recall Something, as he does with his memories just in general, though sometimes he thinks if theyre ever worth recalling at all with the image he's built up of who he once was. it's rough!

What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

another excuse for me to share playlist music... teehee ^_^

Howl - Florence + The Machine

A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright If you could only see the beast you've made of me I held it in, but now it seems you've set it running free The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground

Animals - Stomach Book

Pray for a change A cocoon about to break But now, you feel strange And the wings started to take shape Eat and then die All your siblings cast aside, too See with new eyes A world ready to despise you

Futura - Vylet Pony

Is it so sinister to draw blood for it? The future is now, the torch is lit Can it all fall in so neatly? Can we coexist? How can I have faith that no flower will be missed?

What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

i'm still midway thru act 3 with vyper, so i'm still brainstorming ideas in my mind... i plan for him to re-awaken his oath when he finally breaks away from bhaal though, or perhaps take an oath of devotion instead. something along those lines.

he wants to be able to give this whole paladin thing a real shot, and turn his craving for violence that, while a lot quieter now- i don't think ever permanently goes away, into something more constructive for himself.

he learns that he does not have to atone for the pain he's caused, but rather make a new better way for himself.

AND THATS EVERYTHING... I THINK . THANK U SO MACH FOR ALL THESE QUESTIONS

#AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THESE WERE FUN TO ANSWER #rev txt #oc tag #oc:vyper #oc:lophi

[imbricare]

Read this first - analysis of Harry's Gryffindor and Slytherin traits under the cut for length!

Okay, let's start with Slytherin because it's going to be shorter asdhfdla

All quotes taken from the results of this house quiz which you can read in full in the post I linked to in the first sentence.

Slytherin traits

They have specific people that are Theirs, and their circle of Actual Trust may be rather small, even if their friend/associates/resources group is a wide network.

We see this with Harry, Ron and Hermione who form their tight-knit group, sharing secrets, going on an archetypal quest together, and trusting each other in a way they do not with others. In HBP, even Ginny is excluded from their group when they talk about their in-group knowledge.

Slytherins are tied to wanting, craving [...] Slytherins are a house made up of people who want something or someone or some goal desperately or are made up of a myriad of little wants

Harry and the Mirror of Erised. Harry's longing for community, love, affection, a family. The joy he feels when he is at Hogwarts and he knows that he finally belongs.

you can be exactly who you want to be, if you just give yourself permission. Who would you be in a dark room without any mirrors?

This ties in so well with how Gryffindors can be performative, and how after the war, Harry needs to learn to disengage and separate himself from who he is in relation to Voldemort, Dumbledore, and the public persona / expectations that the Wizarding World has of him … and learn who he has grown into and what he wants himself to be

Gryffindor traits

Gryffindors are very solid with their identity [...] However, Gryffs can be performative

Harry is such a beautiful case of identity complication because he does have a strong, solid sense of identity which is rooted in his clear moral compass – his survival and coping mechanism in an environment (the Dursleys) where he is left to fend for himself, where he is alone, where he needs to develop a strong sense of self because there was no one to reflect his personality back to him in a healthy way.

Gryffindors believe in innate worth

The black-and-white thinking of his youth is something he grows out of; not just thanks to Sirius' lesson that "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters", but also because of the complexities of how people act in and are changed by a traumatising event, e.g. the war (or single, smaller events) … very applicable to certain post-war dynamics I'd love to explore, e.g. Harry & Draco

external […] change maker

He could have just run way from the expectations and responsibilities placed in him - or buckled under them - but he is motivated by the genuine belief that an individual's actions can generate true change for the world, which makes it a person's civic duty to step up and do their bit. Since he longs for community, he is also very community-driven and aware of the need, for individuals, to contribute to the whole.

a lot of Gryffindors struggle with feeling that they aren’t doing Enough, not Enough good, not Enough love. That the failures of the world are in part because they haven’t done enough to help personally).

This reads almost like the flip side to the above in that Harry has the weakness that he can run himself dry if he doesn't watch himself / take care of himself. The danger here is that with his lofty and idealistic values, he might lose sight of the fact that there will always be something in society that can be improved. He needs to learn to set boundaries for himself.

they need to be loved, they need to help.

this is magnified by his toxic and love-starved upbringing, but at his core, Harry will always be affectionate + feel the need to be loved in return. He just really likes to feel connected to people. Again…. that community thing.

they create and change the world around them FOR the world around them, and so the world can look at them and say “okay, you did it, its okay now.” In this way, they are closest to slytherins, seeking validation

This ties in to a lot of the above, but also - the Slytherin-like need for validation is something I think we see in the way that Harry seeks Sirius' approval, praise and validation, for example; and Dumbledore's, too, I think? He was so stung and hurt by the idea (in OotP) that Dumbledore didn't trust him enough / thought him too young to share more information with him, which I think ties in with this idea of Harry needing validation here

Again, this is something that is exacerbated by his upbringing because he was also very much starved of (positive) validation.

They do good, or they try to, based on how they have defined it for themselves.

The "strong moral compass" thing again - defined by and for himself because it was either that or emulate the Dursleys as he was growing up.

They will care for you with all of them, if you earn it. They will hold you.

Harry has so much love to give, and he has such a big heart. He must have, to sacrifice himself for others in the way(s) he does. And I think this is something that the Weasleys bring out in him and nurture in him, and he loves them even more for it - they're his adopted family and he just sinks into that feeling with so much enthusiasm. (Also, bear hug Harry.)

From your friendly neighborhood Hufflepuff, sometimes doing what you need to take care and save yourself is the best thing for the world

This is truly the advice he needs

(All quotes taken from this quiz & can be read in full in this post.)

#HARRY / HC.