#human derek had to be so damn funny

[sterekmylove]

Red Fabric {Young Sterek}

Your prompt: Person B lends their sweater to Person A. When Person A is home, they realize they still have Person B's sweater and find Person B's iPod. Out of curiosity, Person A looks through Person B's music and finds a playlist titled with Person A's name.

P: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski

Age: 18 & 19

A/N: I forgot to post it here.

—

“Dude… just take the damn sweater! Stop being stubborn” Stiles groans as he tried to shove his sweater into Derek's hands, the sick omega

Refusing his friend's request. They've been repeating this little argument since Derek first walked into History, taking a seat next to Stiles and dropping his head onto the table ignoring Mr. Harris words to pick up his head, and that it wasn't nap time. Derek hadn't picked up his head, instead, he made a sound that nearly sounded like a growl. The sound even caught Scott's attention, looking away from Allison to look toward the Omega who sat one row ahead. Stiles kept his eyes down on his notations scribbling away— adding in extra for Derek later. He kept his voice low so Mr. Harris didn't try to give him detention for the simple fact that he spoke.

“Are you okay?” the lanky teenager asked in a low voice. Derek had hummed in response. Not good enough.

“Der” Stiles tried again.

Derek let out a raspy breath shifting his head against the desk to peak towards Stiles, the brunette doing the same— side-eyeing the werewolf. The omega looked like hell, his tan skin was paler— Stiles couldn't even blame that on the season— the cool air in the room being a reminder of the freezing cold outside that is known as winter.

“ ‘mm fine” he mumbles in response.

Stiles snorts, keeping his eyes on the paper. Bullshit.

“Something funny Mr. Stilinski?” Mr. Harris questions

Stiles glanced up at the teacher with a pen in his mouth— when did he get it there? Stiles glances around the room to see everyone looking at him— facing his attention back on the teacher.

“Uh—” the pen drops from his mouth, making a sound against the table— he looks down then back up real quick to do a one-over when his brain comes to a halt.

“Um… no?”

“Then why did you snort?”

“Cause I farted— what else?” He asked his expression mocking a duh look mixed with ‘are you stupid?’ Look.

Derek made a low strangled sound. Scott covered his mouth while ducking his head. Stiles twisted in his seat to turn and look at Allison who was sitting with Scott and behind Stiles.

“Forgive me Ms. Argent for passing gas, is that nose okay?” Stiles asks dramatically.

Allison pressed her lips together trying her best to hide her smile as she just nodded at Stiles. Stiles smiles brightly, turning back to the teacher. Mr. Harris stares at Stiles then sighs— deciding not to argue with the lanky boy today.

For once.

Now, back to what’s wrong with the sourwolf.

Stiles found out in second period Art what was wrong with his friend.

“Sick? you’re sick. How the—.”

“Breathe Bambi,” Derek declared as his hand moved in strokes on the canvas.

Stiles takes a second or two to breathe and then speak.

“I thought werewolves couldn't get sick?”

“Bitten one can't, born can. We're still Humans Stiles, just grow extra hair on a full moon” Derek spoke in a low tone.

Was— did he— did Derek unintentionally make a joke to Stiles on the last part? nevermind that he'll go back to that later.

“But how— dude are you—”

“Stiles what are you—” The back of Stiles's hand touches the omega's cheek, Derek's droopy eyes widening a bit at the contact of Stiles's cool skin against his face. Before the sick wolf can even consider leaning into the touch of Stiles' warmth— which he will blame on his sickness— Stiles pulls away.

“Dude— you're cold, you, Derek Hale who is usually built like a real-life heater are cold!” Stiles stresses out, Derek didn't need to look at the lanky teen to see what type of face he was making.

“Take my—”

“No.”

“But—”

“No.”

“Derek—”

“Stiles.”

“My sweater is better!”

“No, I'm already wearing my leather jacket” Derek declines, pushing down the feeling of accepting the human request— the excuse of Derek wearing his close friend's sweater and smelling his scent for the rest of the day was tempting– but he wasn't going to. He was sick, those little ticks were all a part of his cold.

The want to lean into the cool touch, the want to accept the sweater, the want to be even closer to Stiles and bury his face deep into his friend's neck and take in his scent till his mind is dizzy with the smell of Stiles.

Roasted hazelnuts with the lingering smell of black coffee and medication—Adderall.

“And clearly it's not keeping you warm enough if you caught a cold Derek”

—

Which leads to now— they were in third-period gym playing dodgeball, Derek weak on his feet— stubborn and very human Stiles still arguing with the Hale boy over his sweater as balls were being thrown at them.

“Come on—“

“Duck!”

Stiles dodges barely fast enough from the flying ball that hit the wall hard, Derek glares at the culprit that threw the ball— Tyler Johnson.

“Johnson!” He barks picking up one of the red balls that landed by his feet throwing it towards the brunette hitting him in the stomach making the other teen wheeze sinking to his feet, Stiles winches at the site.

“Derek—.” Derek grabs Stiles by the front of his shirt yanking him towards himself— making the lanky human not get hit by a ball.

“Stiles focus—.”

“Take my sweater and I will!”

“Stiles it’s cold outside-.”

“I’ll wear your leather jacket— just take the damn sweater you stubborn—.”

Bonk!

A ball gently hits Stiles in the head, the pale teen blinks a couple of times. Staring— staring at Derek who had pulled him close to him with a ball in his hand and with enough force hit him in the forehead with it. Stiles looked at the omega as if he committed a crime, his mouth opening and closing— Derek catching a ball before it hit him in the face.

“Did you—“

Derek gives him the famous Hale smirk.

“Got to sit down Stilinski”

Stiles gasp, then looked over to Scott who just shrugged his shoulders.

“You little…”

“Go.”

Was that even allowed!?.

—

“I look stupid” Derek mumbled as he tugged at the red fabric that hugged his body, Stiles' sweater was loose but also fitted tight around the werewolf’s sick frame. He wore the cuffs of the sleeves over his palms looking down as the two walked down the hall— Stiles fixing Derek’s leather jacket around his body, patting the pockets filling his curiosity that can sometimes be dangerous.

“You look nice in red sourwolf I don’t see the reason to complain” Stiles says in a tone that can let anyone know he’s not paying attention to his words.

“That’s not— not that pocket Stiles”

Stiles stops his hand barely above the chest pocket looking at Derek while they walked down the hallway as the last bell rang.

“What’s in it?”

“Just don’t touch it”

Stiles nods moving his hand away shoving them in the pockets walking in silence.

—

Tags: @cowandcalf

#stiles stilinski #teen wolf #sterek #derek hale #sterek fics #young!sterek #young!derek hale #teen wolf fic

[bisaster-energy]

I have to know what nut allergy means 🤲🏻

god i had forgotten about this one til u tagged me💀i got the idea cos of some tiktok someone made about putting ghost pepper in their food to catch whichever coworker was stealing their food and ppl in the notes were freaking out cos "wHAt iF sOMeOnE iS ALlErGiC" me and my friend luke were like "god how funny would it be if you just went in someone's fridge drank all their milk and shit yourself cos ur lactose intolerant and then blame them for trying to poison u that logic is so crazy...what if it was a destiel au"

it's really just a silly hospital au i never got around to finishing it's cringy and basic but it's funny to me so i kept it

so cas is a doctor ofc i have to reward dean somehow.

he's neurosurgeon because i did watch grey's anatomy and dr. sexy being a parody of derek shepherd who's played by patrick dempsey who also played a guy named cass who was in a polyamory with jensen ackle's character and marilyn monroe. i had to put it in

i couldnt decide if i wanted dean to be a doctor too or a nurse but i know i wanted him in peds

basically it's one sided enemies to lovers with dean having beef with cas for no reason (he's hot and this frustrates dean to no end). meanwhile cas has a crush bigger than texas on that man

maybe a competitive aspect too like derek and burke had but less animosity. i try to lean into the soap opera aspect of it as if they're in a medical drama more than a REAL HOSPITAL because it's easier than doing extensive research <3

so maybe dean is a bit more of an asshole to cas than strictly necessary and no one else gets why. cas essentially gives up on trying to have a normal conversation w/dean and thinks he really hates him so he settles to only talk to him in a professional capacity so he wont encroach on his space more than he has to

dean takes this personally. i love misunderstandings

etc etc it comes to a head when maybe something happens that really sets dean off about cas (i haven't figured what yet) and so to get back at him he nabs a cookie from his lunch (cas already established that anyone can indulge in them but dean missed the memo ig)

anyways ruh roh! his dumbass is allergic to one of the ingredients cos it came into contact with walnuts or smth idk

dean's embarrassed as hell and cas finds him all swollen and fucked up and i haven't gotten past this part but yeah i just wanted cas to stab dean with an epi-pen really

overall very mid and silly and dumb but here's an excerpt anyway:

The neurosurgeon is, in Dean's humble (but also right) opinion, the only one worthy of the term Asshole around here, with a capital A.

Well, not the only one. But still.

And it's not like Dean didn't try to get to know him! New doctor shows up, windswept hair tousled to perfection, lab coat flaring behind him like some sort of superhero, gaze focused and intense, and eyes so so blue-

Ahem. Of course Dean is going to be intrigued he's a human being! It's not like Castiel was interested anyway. Barely said three words to Dean before rushing off somewhere else, probably to bless some other coworker with his angelic ass sculpted by god. Dean tried a few times after that and still ended up with nothing more than stilted small talk. Dude made talking to a brick wall seem like a cake walk. There was always something going on that had to cut their conversations short, and Dean thought Cas was just a shy guy at first, nothing wrong with that. But he's seen Dr. Novak easily chat with other staff for longer than two (painfully awkward) minutes. Especially Masters. God that snake just loves to hang off Novak, like that's her job instead of being a damn nurse. Even Balthazar, their own personal sleazeball of an anesthesiologist, allegedly manages to drag the uptight doctor out from time to time.

Not that Dean has been stalking them or anything. He just heard it through the grapevine like every other godforsaken rumor at this high school of a hospital. And if the grapevine happened to just be Balthazar himself bragging about their nights out in the breakroom, well that's Dean's business.

"I still say you need to give him a chance, Dean," his mammoth of a brother insisted, brushing his mane out of his face. Seriously, dude, just get a haircut. "I don't get what your problem with him is. Castiel is great! A little awkward maybe, but it really adds to his charm." Dean rolls his eyes.

"Sammy, you do realize you sound like you're trying to get me to adopt a dog that's about to be sent to the pound? It didn't work when you were eight and it won't work now. And, for your information, I've given Cas plenty of chances to talk to me. He's the one with the issue. You should be selling him all this kumbaya bullshit. And don't you have some lawsuits to prevent?"

It's Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever, Dean. If you gave up on talking to him then why the hell do you call him by a nickname?" With another flip of his mop, his brother left Dean spluttering for a reasonable answer. Which there is, of course. But Sam's long gone by the time he manages a weak "Castiel is a mouthful, okay?" "I'll say," came an annoyingly sultry voice from behind. Without turning Dean lets out a sigh. "Can I help you, Masters?" He asks flatly, already resigning himself to an unpleasant encounter. "Oh, don't be like that, Dean," God, he can practically hear the obnoxious pout he knows she's wearing right now. "I thought we could bond over what a mouthful Clarence is!" That has him spinning around.

meg is cas' bestie she can't understand why he's hung up on dean but she supports his terrible terrible taste. and if she can manage to convince dean they're fucking in the meantime well. god forbid women do anything

the reason sam seems so invested is cos the hospital has a betting pool over if these 2 get together and when. bros tryna make bank

#asks!! #wip #supernatural #destiel #it's soooooo dumb but sometimes a fic is junk food #dean deserves to have his doctor kink well and truly fulfilled #also the patrick dempsey lore actually kills me like every time i think about i cannot believe how it's all connected... #jensen ackles poly relationship with marilyn monroe and guy named cass in blonde. years pass #dempsey moves to grey's anatomy while ackles goes on to spn both airing in 2005. #dean is secretly into a show clearly parodying grey's anatomy. dr. sexy is definitely based off of dempsey's mcdreamy and is dean's fav #s4 of spn castiel is introduced. dean calls him cas. #14x12 has cas dressed as a doctor. 15x15 has cas talking to a pastor that played dr. sexy who tells him being gay is cool. what the fuck.

[bagadew]

Tagged by @vonlipvig

Last song I listened to: We Like to Party (aka The Vengabus) by the Vengaboys. This damn song arrived inexplicably in my head this morning and WILL NOT leave. In an attempt to exorcise it like the demon it is, I listened to this song in its entirety. Unfortunately this didn’t work, and I now know more words to The Vengabus (it’s coming and everybody’s jumping, New York to San Francisco an intercity disco)

Last book I read: Which Way to Anywhere by Cressida Cowell, the writer of How To Train Your Dragon, doing a sci-fi story, of course I read and enjoyed this. I loved the dynamic between the siblings, the cool morally grey space teen, and watching a small magic baby forcibly adopt the space equivalent of OG Alvin the Treacherous. There were other less funny things I enjoyed (like the neat way it conveyed the fact that Daniel is living in a house that is effectively being haunted by his wife’s ex husband) but to be honest I don’t have the time to really go off on one, and this only makes sense to like 1% of you anyway.

Last film I watched: Oh jeez, it’s been a fair few weeks since I watched a film, and I sort of fried my brain with my own filming schedule. I’m 75% sure it was Kill Bill part 2 though, cos my brother and I realised we’d never seen The Kill Bill films, and it seemed like it would be our jam (and it was).

Last TV series I watched: Shogun. I’ve been watching it with my family every week, starting because Dad had read the book and wanted to watch it. As someone who knows basically nothing about that period of Japanese history, I’m finding it very interesting, and I feel like, weirdly, I’m getting a better understanding of some of the cultural influences behind some of the Japanese fiction I already know and enjoy.

Last video game I played: Trauma Center Under the Knife. Both a bastard game that I hate and a brilliant game that I love. The characters and story are great and I love them, but I’m pretty sure surgery is the thing I am worst at in this life and I should be struck off and never allowed in an operating theatre again. I am currently trying to kill an evil spider that lives on the heart of a child experiment (because this game is wild) and I am slightly scared that this isn’t the final boss of the game. In a thousand different universes that child has died of heart spider, but heart spider has to get lucky a thousand times… The Flailing Muppets Who Possess Derek Whenever He Does Surgery only has to get lucky once!

Last thing I googled: Trauma Center Savato strategy. Look The Flailing Muppets Who Possess Derek Whenever He Does Surgery needs all the help she can get, ok?

Last thing I ate: 3 packets of mini eggs. I got a lot of Easter chocolate to eat through.

Sweet, savoury or spicy: I alternate between preferring sweet and savoury dependant on an unknowable force beyond my control or understanding. Right now I like sweet things the best (hence the chocolate eggs).

Amount of Sleep: Full 8 hours baby! I finally fixed my sleep schedule out of necessity of not dying last week!

Currently Reading: Gideon the Ninth! Turns out this book is really good, I can see why you guys like it so much.

Currently watching: A documentary on Honey Ants, these creatures are cool and fucked up in a way I would love to apply to humans in a work of fiction. Living larders for instance are an incredibly messed up idea.

Tagging: @thelastlivingme @bluejaybytes @lightflame @saltykrispycake and whoever else wants to do it!

#hey now hey now hear what I say now…

[orgh]

whoever is writing WWDITS is a fucking pussy

Spoilers for the entirety of S5, but especially the last two eps that were just released

------------------

okay look idc about the shipping stuff - for those that do, all the love to you. I'm glad that apparently this last episode was a genuine delight to the Nandermo folks, so if you're personally satisfied with that then I'm genuinely happy for you.

But can the show like, actually stick to a fucking change? Please?

Guillermo becoming a vampire should be a MASSIVE status quo change, and his delayed transformation was a genuinely intriguing plot point I was interested in seeing explained in more detail (because let's face it, we all knew it was because of the Van Helsing blood, I'm not sure why in ep9 the show acted like it was soooo obvious but no one knew)

But for some reason the show decided... nah, it's okay. He's just turned back into a human again lol nbd. Like, really? That causes no drama? Guillermo is having thoughts like 'damn killing humans is so weird for me I'm gonna have to do that all the time', and instead of his character having to deal with that as a new vampire he just gets to. turn back. no worries?

Look, if he had to turn back into a human no matter what, fair enough. that can work. but for fuck's sake, if Derek had to die for that, can you at least let him stay dead? At least for a bit? Like if you wanna pull the 'derek turns into a zombie' card, can you at least not do it in the same episode, immediately removing all tension from the last scene?

'It's the funny vampire show why are you taking it so seriously' maybe they should stick to being funny then instead of introducing major character and story changes and then abandoning it lol

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #sorry if this kinda thing isn't put in the main tags? but like. yknow #anyway I would like to think about the show for more than 2 seconds and not waste my time about it pls

[ultram0th]

[This is a story that I'm dropping from the "30 Days of Derek Hale" that I'm planning because I thought of something else I'd rather do.]

-- -- --

Stiles typed away on his laptop, yawning loudly as he tried to stay awake and finish the paper he needed for his college class. It was due tomorrow, and of course he’d waited until the last minute. 

He finally had the cover page finished when there was a loud thump at his window, and the spastic human jolted out of his chair when he saw none other than the brooding werewolf, Derek Hale, standing the shadows.

“Holy shit!” Stiles breathed, clutching at his chest as his heart raced like crazy. “Derek? What are you doing here? And why don’t you use the front door like a sane—”

“Stop talking, Stiles,” Derek growled, his irritated face hidden by the nighttime shadows in the bedroom, but Stiles already knew that he was probably scowling at him. “I… *sigh, need your help.”

Stiles stepped away from his desk, knowing that if the alpha of Beacon Hills was coming to him for something, then it must’ve been serious. “What is it?” he cautiously asked.

Again, Derek let out a low sigh, a growl audible in his deep voice. “We ran into a witch coven tonight,” he spat. “And… and I was hit by a certain spell.”

Stiles let out a gasp. “Oh shoot!” he breathed, taking a step forward. “Are you okay? What happened? What does it do?”

Derek held his hand out, stopping the human in his tracks. “It’s a lie detector spell,” Derek groaned. 

“So you’re forced to tell the truth?” Stiles pressed.

Derek huffed again. “No,” he growled, “I can still lie, it’s just that whenever I do, this…”

The werewolf took a deep breath and stepped out into the dim light of Stiles’s room. The human held his breath to avoid laughing the minute he saw Derek’s altered face. Everything about the werewolf appeared the same, except for his nose which had lengthened to about five inches long, making him like he’d been ripped directly out of Pinocchio.

Derek scowled when he spotted Stiles trying to hold back a laugh. “This isn’t funny!” he roared, pointing at his face. “What am I supposed to do with this thing? And if you don’t recall, I am a werewolf. I can’t exactly be having my nose grow if I deny that fact out in public!”

“You’re right,” Stiles said, letting a little chuckle escape from his red face. He paused for a moment. “But, why did you come here? You could’ve gone to Deaton, but you came here.”

Derek visibly winced. “R-right,” he stuttered, not making direct eye contact with Stiles. “Deaton was busy, so I came here…” The alpha tensed up and his already large nose appeared to pull further away from his stunned face, growing another half-inch, indicating that he’d lied.

Derek’s face went from pale to bright red as Stiles cocked his eyebrow at him.

“You didn’t even try calling Deaton, did you?” he accused.

Derek’s jaw tightened and his rolled his eyes. “Fine, I didn’t!” he huffed. His big nose remained the same elongated size, indicating that even when he admitted the truth after a lie, his nose remained altered. “Now we need to figure out how to fix this!”

Stiles dropped it for the moment and nodded. “Fine,” he agreed, sitting back at his laptop to start searching up spells and Pinocchio-esque phenomena. He feverishly tried to uncover some sort of lead or possible way to fix Derek.

Speaking of, Derek stalked forward and knelt down next to Stiles, silent as he watched him research. His large nose protruded so far off of his face that it was beginning to block some of his view. 

Stiles’s typing paused and he looked over at Derek once more. “So wait,” he wondered aloud, “why me? I thought you hated me.”

Derek’s jaw clenched again, and he glared down at the human for a second. “Right,” I muttered, flinching when his nose lengthened once again. “Damn it!” He shoved himself away from the desk in a huff, wondering how he was going to walk around with a large Pinocchio nose. All the while, things would be made even worse if people realized that it grew only when he lied.

Stiles straightened his posture and spun his chair around to stare down the big-nosed werewolf. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head to the side. “You hate me, right?” he pressed again.

Derek’s mouth was pressed into a thin line, but his shoulders eventually fell. “No, I don’t hate you,” he finally said, his nose remaining the same size. 

Stiles, being the instigator that he was, couldn’t help but smile to himself. “Aww,” he teased the angry werewolf, “so you like me?”

Derek just put on his usual scowl and glared at the human once more.  “No,” he spat out of instinct, his nose stretching out even further, about seven inches long by now. “…fuck.”

Stiles, having always harbored a major attraction for the alpha werewolf, had his jaw drop in shock at what he witnessed. Apparently, Derek, who would always snarl and glare at him, didn’t view him as an apparent waste of space. “You do!” he exclaimed. “Holy crap, you do like me!”

Derek swallowed down his growl. “Yes, Stiles, I like you. Happy?” he snapped. However, his nose still grew the slightest bit, looking even more unreal. It jutted off the werewolf’s face by at least eight inches now, and it’s cylindrical appearance truly added to its cartoonish aura. Derek looked like he was a cartoon character, looking like he’d been cast in a real life Pinocchio remake. He ran a shaky hand through his hair as he realized the predicament that he really was in.

Stiles’s heart sped up and he swallowed loudly. “I mean… you… what?” he mumbled, his mind racing a million miles a minute. He knew that he was supposed to help Derek break his spell, but he was so caught up in what was thrown into his face.

Derek’s broad shoulders fell and his head rolled back, his large nose flying quickly through the air at the movement. “I… love you.”

Derek’s nose stayed the same size.

The werewolf blushed and looked away from Stiles, not wanting to see his reaction. He was an alpha and knew that he had to uphold a tough look and front in order to protect his territory. Therefore, he wasn’t used to being all mushy.

Instead of laughing, like what Derek had expected him to do, Stiles reached over and kissed Derek’s stubbly cheek. 

Derek winced and turned to look at the human in shock. He momentarily forgot his large nose, cut up in the rush of emotion that he felt.

Stiles smiled warmly and placed a soft hand on his shoulder. “I love you, too,” he said, and his regular heartbeat indicated that he was telling the truth. “And, Pinocchio is my favorite Disney movie.”

#Derek Hale #Tyler Hoechlin #Teen Wolf #Nose #Nose TF #Nose growth #Pinocchio #Pinocchio TF

[masterwords]

What if Hotch and Morgan accidentally mix up their bags. Maybe Morgan is getting out of the shower by the time he realises he's got Hotch's clothes and his old ones are covered in dirt from travelling to a dump site.

Okay so this one went right into my brain the minute I saw it and I sprinted it in two 20 minute sessions so it isn't pretty and it is far from poetry but...I just adore the idea so much. Considering the awful things I have to write in the couple of chapter stories that need updates, this was a REALLY nice and much needed break. So...THANK YOU for sending this to me. You made my night. I hope you enjoy where I took it.

Words: ~1600

Pairings: Hotch/Morgan

Warnings: a kinda funny timed erection/masturbation & some dog bites/stitches at the end

**

It was a long damn day. That was all Derek could think as he waited for the water to heat up. He'd been dreaming of this shower after a day of running around through swampy woodlands.

When they caught this unsub, he was going to have some serious words for him. For starters, his feet were blistered and raw, and his boots were ruined. His favorite boots. He'd wiped them off the best he could and set them beside the heater in the window to try and dry out, but he held little hope they'd ever be right again.

And that infuriated him to no end. He hoped desperately that the shower helped his piss poor mood, because he had two hours and then he had to get back to the station. Two hours to remove mud from every nook and cranny and hopefully get a little sleep while he was at it.

It did help. Water poured over him, nearly hot enough to burn him if he let it stay in one spot too long, and when he'd finished with the soap he even gave himself permission to sit on the floor of the tub and just indulge a few minutes of sensory deprivation...just water coursing down over his head, eyes closed, breathing through drenched lips with his knees pulled to his chest. It worked wonders, at least until his butt started to go numb and he had to shift, to stretch out his legs and wiggle his toes and finally get out of the watery sanctuary.

His go-bag was waiting for him on his bed, untouched from the moment he'd arrived. Naked, he wandered through the room basking in the warmth on his damp skin while he sucked down a huge glass of water. He was parched and drank another glass before he felt better. Human again. And he still had an hour and a half before he had to be back to the station so he sprawled out still naked on the bed like a starfish and fell fast asleep with his alarm set for a half hour. That would be plenty, just a refresh. He could sleep anywhere.

Waking from a dreamless sleep, he rolled on his side and glanced at the clock just to be sure. Double check the time. The last thing he wanted to do was be late and piss anyone off. Still plenty of time. He hit snooze and let himself take another ten minutes. It was less restful but the freedom to do it felt almost decadent.

That sinfully good feeling of sleep slipped from him quickly when he opened his go-bag, expecting to pull out his gray sweater and black cargo pants, a staple. Warm enough to be comfortable in this region, nice enough to be casual but not overly so...but instead he found plastic dry cleaner bags with crisp starched button downs and slacks. Fuck.

Immediately, because he really couldn't think of anything else to do, he texted Hotch.

Think our bags got switched. Sorry man. You able to bring me mine?

He waited, cross-legged and naked on his bed. Hotch was always attached to his phone, he didn't let it worry him. Except no return text came. Nothing. Complete silence. So he tried again, and when that failed, he tried calling and was surprised to find it had gone straight to voicemail. Fuck...fuck double fuck.

He thought about calling Rossi, he'd been with Hotch all morning, maybe he'd know...but Rossi's phone went straight to voicemail too. Now he was worried and pissed off. If he and Hotch were even relatively the same size he probably couldn't be too concerned but the idea that he'd be comfortable in those tailored slacks and crisp shirts was absurd.

He also didn't have a choice. Two of his teammates weren't picking up their phones, and it was possible they were just out of reception range but it was also possible they were in trouble.

He pushed past Hotch's boxers and ripped open the pants bag, tugging them on with a grunt. If his clothes were even a little bit wearable again he wouldn't bother but they were soaking wet and filthy. More than that, they'd already been picked up by the hotel's laundry service. He could go naked, he could hide in his room, or he could stuff himself into Hotch's clothes and make the best of it.

The pants were tight but not as bad as he'd envisioned, it was the shirt that tugged uncomfortably beneath his armpits and hugged his biceps too tight. He was going to tear right out of this thing like the Hulk.

He didn't look half bad, though. He couldn't breathe or he'd pop a button, but he looked good. Slick. Hotch wore fucking nice suits. He always knew that, of course, but he'd never felt that fabric against his skin. It was odd, the knowledge that this shirt and these pants had been tailored to fit every curve of Hotch's body and while he destroyed their integrity, feeling those places gave him pleasure. The narrow angle of his hips, how lean Hotch was, it was so unlike him but it almost felt like having the other man against him and it was with no small amount of irritation that he realized he was feeling a little fuller in the pants than before. Now was not the time for an erection. He closed his eyes and smashed his hand against it, humming an old hymn his grandmother used to sing him like it might help. Then he recited some football stats and walked around, trying to shake it out. What the fuck was wrong with him?

They'd been seeing eachother for a little while, which would explain the stupid bag mix-up, but he'd always been in total control of his body before. Then again, he'd never gone commando in Hotch's pants before. This was ridiculous. The type of situation a thirteen year old with no control over their bodies or minds got into, not a full grown man.

Yet here he was. So, he did the only thing he could think to do...he unzipped the pants, let them drop, and dealt with the situation rather than fighting it. Faster, more efficient, and maybe he'd finally achieve that better mood. At this point he just felt like he was the butt of a cosmic joke.

He only hoped Hotch wouldn't be angry. This wasn't exactly going to prove that they'd been sleeping together, it could be an innocent mix up on the jet or in the SUV, but it was definitely going to put ideas into heads that he didn't want there. And Hotch would be more than a little upset at losing that control.

There wasn't anything he could do though, because Spencer was knocking at the door telling him it was time to head back. And when Spencer saw him in Hotch's clothes, looked him up and down with his brows drawn together in that confused look he got when he was putting together pieces to a puzzle that didn't make any damn sense...well he just smiled and shrugged and said don't worry about it, kid.

As it turned out, Hotch and Rossi's phones were off because they had gotten into trouble. The kind that landed them in an Urgent Care soaking wet getting stitches and antibiotics. Hotch glared at Derek in his clothes but didn't want to share much of the story, which didn't bother anyone too much because Rossi recanted the whole thing in grave detail. They'd stumbled on the unsub, and the K9 units managed to get him down but not before the unsub's dogs tore through them. Hotch had a wicked bite on his forearm and Rossi's calf was ripped up.

“Is that my shirt?” Hotch asked while the medical assistant cleaned his wound and prepared it for the nurse and her stitches. Derek pursed his lips and twitched his eyebrows, gave him that what the hell do you think? look and sighed. “It looks nice on you.”

Drugs. They must have already give him a shot of something to take the edge off, because he wasn't behaving the way Derek had anticipated. Probably for the best. “Our bags got mixed up.”

“I know,” Hotch said quietly, leaning his head to the side so he didn't have to watch the stitches go in. “That was my fault, I grabbed the wrong bag in my rush to get off of the jet. I'm sorry.”

Derek shrugged and pulled up a chair, deciding it was probably the right thing to do to sit with him. Reid was with Rossi, everyone else was back at the station packing up. The minute he sat in the chair, he felt the shirt tighten impossibly behind his shoulders and the seams began popping quietly. Pop pop rrrrip. The sleeves had been put under maximum strain. He sighed.

“I'll replace the shirt.”

“'S'ok,” Hotch mumbled, blinking sleepily against the pain meds they'd shot right into his vein along with the antibiotics. He was a lightweight when it came to those things. “I get your sweater.”

“What am I gonna wear?”

Hotch only smiled in that strange lopsided way he had and stared at him, and somehow Derek knew whatever was on his mind wasn't something he'd say out loud, especially in a hospital in front of their teammates who were pretending with every shred of decency they had not to stare at the two of them. It was barely working. “Deal.”

#derek morgan #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotchgan #spencer and rossi are in this too but i don't want to tag them cos they're barely here #fanfiction #this is pretty lighthearted and totally ridiculous but fun

[christinesficrecs]

Hey, short fic anon here (don't know if you remember me, it's been a while XD), I'm back to ask you for recs XD

No problem if you don't have time, but I've been looking for sterek fics up to 10k or even up to 15k lately, and your recs have always been great in the past

So if there's any you've read lately that you feel like sharing, I'd appreciate that :)

It has been awhile!! These are all around 10K. This one is a bit longer (16K) but lots of fun! Hopefully you find something you love!!

Laying Groundwork by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 10.9K | Explicit

His expression isn’t much to go by but the entire club's howling gets louder at his appearance and Stiles literally pops a boner watching the guy’s big hands wrestle with the microphone stand.

Or the one where Scott and Stiles go clubbing and there's this broody Bouncer out to get Stiles-

Or get into his pants. Thank God it's the latter.

When the Bough Breaks by The Feels Whale (miscellea) | 12K

Look, Stiles knows he’s not really part of the pack, but really? He wishes the others aside from Scott and Allison would stay a little more up to date on what’s going on his life beyond how it affects them.

Festival of Red by hoars | 11.5K | Explicit

“See? I need my daisy crown or I won’t get Chased.” Stiles frowned. “And then I’ll have to do it again next year. I really don’t want to do it twice.”The good and the bad of getting Caught this year included not having to do it again and the bad was he’d have a werewolf mate for the rest of his life. Stiles is seventeen. He has a lot of life to live.

Unless his wolfy mate has no sense of humor or a temper. Those with no sense of humor and tempers tended to hate Stiles the most and wouldn’t that suck? Being tied to someone for the rest of his life who hates him. That actually sounds like his type of luck.“You’ll be fine.” Allison beams because she’s a sweet person and can obviously read Stiles like a picture book aimed at toddlers.

An Alpha's Mark by Piscaria | 12.2K | Explicit

Stiles never thought he'd get a tattoo -- then he found out human pack members could grow stronger by taking an Alpha's Mark.

Intro To Art For NonMajors by otatop | 13.4K

Derek has one more class to pass before he can finish his degree but he can't bring himself to give a shit about art. He can, however, give a shit about his professor.

if you're not here to turn the lights off (i can't sleep) by lutes_and_dandelions | 7.2K | Explicit

“Honey! I’m home!” Stiles shouted into the empty apartment as he moved quickly through to the kitchen, dumping his backpack onto bench before crossing to the fridge and crossing off another day on the calendar. A month and a half. That was how long was left until Derek came home, until he was safe. Everyday felt like a lifetime to Stiles.

Deputy Derek Hale, Alpha by eldee | 12.6K | Explicit

Deputy Derek Hale has recently become an alpha, and that changes things for him. Now that he's back after a leave of absence, he's hoping to get what he and Stiles had almost-started back on track. The thing is, it seems Stiles is going through some changes of his own and Derek's not sure how he fits.

Hale Construction by Mynuet | 8.3K

Derek gets a business and a home. Stiles gets his own Batman. The sheriff gets hash browns. The Stilinski household is expanded without anyone quite talking about it.

Inevitability (About Damn Time) by accordingtomel | 9.7K | Explicit

“So?” Scott says.

“So?” Stiles sputters, kicking his shoes into the corner and locking the front door behind him. He’d whipped out his phone the second he’d pulled up to the house, and miracle among miracles, Scott actually answered. Of course, he’s not so pleased about that now. “My dad thinks Derek and I are dating, Scott. Did you miss that part?”

The asshole actually has the audacity to laugh. As if this is somehow hilarious to him. Worst best friend ever. “No, I didn’t.”

“This is not funny, Scott.”

“Yeah, it actually kind of is, though.”

Sharing Food by aussiebee | 9.5K | Explicit

Derek is pretty much absorbed into the Stilinski family, one meal at a time.

Wake Up Call by SylvieW | 10K | Mature

Derek has nightmares and now that Laura is gone there's no one to wake him up and comfort him.

Safe at Anchor by Jerakeen | 11.3K

All hail Stiles, the Fixer of Wolves.

Derelictions of Duty by Regann | 10.8K

No one wants to be the bearer of bad news to someone as nice as Sheriff Stilinski -- especially when he's your boss. That's why none of his employees want to be the first one to tell him about the scandalous goings-on between his only son and the former murder suspect Derek Hale. For all of their sakes, hopefully the Sheriff will find out all on his own...

(Or, 5 times a Beacon County Sheriff's Office employee witnesses the unique relationship between Stiles and Derek but neglects to tell the Sheriff and 1 time he witnesses it for himself.)

Known. by yodasyoyo | 10.7K

The one where they have to pretend to be soulmates for reasons. It all works out in the end, I promise.

The Bargain by dr_girlfriend | 9.7K

Time drags on, and it becomes apparent that this is not a part of the tradition. The wolves start to shift on their feet and murmur, but no one attempts to speak to Stiles. He stands, feeling the back of his neck growing red from the sun and his face growing red from embarrassment.

What will happen if Derek Hale cannot be coerced to the altar? Will the bargain be revoked?

The Adventures of Ranger Rookie and Deputy Dork by shipNslash | 12.3K

When the Sheriff tells Stiles that he's getting a partner, he's not exactly thrilled. How is he supposed to keep his magic a secret with some rookie stuck in his cruiser all day?

When Derek's mother decides to move the pack back to Beacon Hills, he looks forward to joining the local police force. Less so to hiding his werewolf-iness from some poor, unsuspecting partner.

Derek is assigned to be Stiles' new partner at the Sheriff's Department. One is a mage and the other is a werewolf. Neither knows what the other can do. What could possibly go wrong?

It's Always Been You, Dumbass by stilinskisparkles | 11K

“Alright, cool, we should go,” Stiles says breezily, dusting off his hands as he stands.“We should?”“Yeah!”

“But… Do you even care about photography?”

“Not as much as I should,” Stiles plants both his hands on the table, bracketing Derek in, “You’ll have to correct my miscreant ways.”

Chocolate & Pomegranates by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 9.6K

Derek has been an Omega for what feels like centuries. He is constantly hounded by Alphas and Betas who can't control their hormones. He's thankful for Laura defending his honor, but there is one person he's always dreamed of giving himself to.

Too bad Derek is certain Stiles doesn't know he exists.

Rumour Has It by WhoNatural | 12.9K

Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore.

You've Got Something I Need by paradis | 11.4K | Explicit

There is a moment, right when they meet, that Stiles thinks, I could really fall in love with this man.

And he doesn’t even try to fight it.

never assume the obvious is true by evanesdust | 8.4K | Explicit

as·sume /əˈso͞om/ verb suppose to be the case, without proof.

Derek makes assumptions. Unfortunately, he is wrong.

There are more under 10K fics here.

#asks #sterek fics #ficrecs #short fics #<10k #this post got away from me #sorry not even remotely sorry #read all the fics #❤️

[dame-nervy]

"Oh come on, I know you can do better than that" (Derek Hale x Reader)

Training with Derek goes about how you'd expect.

Prompt by: Deity Prompts ( @deity-prompts )

Blam. "I thought you wanted to train, not lay around." Derek's smug face was really starting to annoy me, and with his werewolf sense of smell, he knew it. "Oh so funny you are, sour wolf." I groaned as I got up from the floor. I'd asked Derek to help me train to help refine my skills, which led to the two of us in his loft during the middle of the day, his furniture moved to the side as he walked around in only jeans. I wasn't expecting to be able to take down a werewolf or whatever else was out there - being human and all - but I was hoping to be able to keep myself alive long enough to either get away or for someone to come save me. Though, as it was currently going, I don't think I'll survive this damn training.

"You did last a few seconds longer that time." Derek told me as we started circling each other again. "Yippie. When do I get my gold star?" I asked before he attacked me. I avoided the first attack, and was barely able to dodge the second before Derek had my back pinned to his chest, hands gripping my wrists. "Get out of this." Derek's breathe fanned the back of my neck and ear as he whispered to me. I tried to use the techniques he'd taught me before to wiggle my way out of his grip, only to trip over his feet and whined up on my back again. This time, Derek was hovering over me, "Oh come on, I know you can do better than that" he smirked down at me, looking as fresh as a daisy. His eyes ran down my frame before returning to meet mine as I just laid there, breathing heavy, sweating, and slightly sore. Damn his werewolf bs. "At this point, you seem more focused on getting me on my back rather than actually training." I told him, regaining my breath as he chuckled slightly. "Well, I can think of other forms of training I could teach you." My cheeks flushed at his insinuation, and the lack of shirt on his part wasn't helping. He leaned closer, eyes locked on mine, only flickering down to my lips for a moment before return to me. He stopped moving, holding steady above me but a lot closer now, so close that if one of us moved an inch, our lips would crash into each others. The intensity of his eyes on mine seemed to be asking a question, asking it so loud I could practically hear Derek's voice "can I kiss you?" I nodded my head and he leaned in, slow. Our lips brushed... and Derek immediately pulled away, head turned to the door. In the next second he was pulling me to my feet, positioning my hands up in front of my face in a defence pose. I was confused as he took a couple steps away and took his own ready stance before his door opened. I turned to see Scott, Stiles, and Issac come in, all of them stopping in confusion as they saw the two of us. "What are you two doing?" Stiles asked, as he looked between myself and Derek as I checked the time. "Training." Derek answered bluntly as he went and grabbed two bottles of water, throwing one to me, which I surprisingly managed to catch. "It is one o'clock on a Thursday, why aren't the three of you in school?" I asked before taking a drink of water. "Uh... It's a werewolf thing..." Issac lamely answered, causing myself and Derek to share an unimpressed look. "Is someone in danger?" Derek asked, crossing his arms. "Well... no..." Scott answered looking between the others. "Then it can wait until after school." Derek said moving toward the three. "More like after detention." I added as the teens started backing out of the loft. "But Derek-" "Goodbye Stiles." Derek said as he closed the door in their faces. He stood there for a moment before banging hard on the door, the sound of three pairs of feet running away clear to even my human ears. I laughed slightly under my breath as he walked back over to me, a smirk on his face. He came over and caged me into the wall as I smiled at him. "Now, where were we?"

#Teen Wolf #x Reader #Derek Hale #Derek Hale x Reader #Teen Wolf x Reader #writing #one shot #Derek

[ohhalefire]

For your headcanons ask - Stiles, if you haven't already had an ask for him :)

[ from this post ]

Ohhh you're in for a RIDE. A warning: Headcanon A deals a lot with both Sterek and Stydia, and I know this may not be everyone's cup of tea on my blag, so feel free to jump to B if you're here for more Stiles-specific or Sterek content. :)

Headcanon A: realistic

Before I start with Headcanon A, I want to drop a disclaimer: I don't believe at all that I'm going to change one single person's mind about this. You don't have to agree with me when this is done. I just think that the hard line between Stydia shippers and Sterek shippers doesn't actually have to be as hard, because evidence for one doesn't have to mean evidence against the other.

So I think Stydia being canon actually proves that Derek is exactly Stiles' type. Sure, Lydia is a short redheaded woman and Derek is a big brunet werewolf dude, but I'm not saying the resemblance is physical. I mean that the way Stiles feels about them, the way we see the attachments between them build and evolve, is exactly the fucking same.

Stop me if any of this sounds familiar:

Stiles has a really long-held crush on a true-blue perfect ten, someone with the type of beauty that they can use to get whatever they want with one gorgeous smile and a flash of an adorable dimple. Initially the crush is light-hearted (and maybe slightly infused with intimidation, because this person is just so damn hot and also just kinda scary), but even so, Stiles knows their secret: that they're smarter, deeper, and much less prickly than they pretend to be. They're hiding their secret nerdery, their passions, their true softness, all as a defense mechanism - and Stiles knows all about it. He gets it.

Over time, this crush deepens. Instead of fading the way most high-school crushes do, it matures... and Stiles can't be nearly as funny about it. But Stiles is, above anything else, a truly decent human being, and he knows that this person either doesn't feel the same way as he does, or simply isn't ready to open that can of worms. This person has had a previous relationship end messily (at best), and now is only looking for someone pretty they can hold at arms' length, if they're looking for anything at all. So Stiles will not pressure, and will not make a move. He never once makes his feelings for this person anyone's problem but his own.

Then Stiles gets himself a girlfriend in Malia. And it's not that he doesn't really care about her - he so does! - but the crush doesn't entirely go away, even then. Sure, maybe he can ignore it a little more while he's focused on his actual relationship, but the feeling is still there, little embers of the fire still aglow inside him. It's always there. And maybe it always will be.

Now, tell me: who am I talking about? Lydia or Derek? Both?

The very fact that Stydia does become canon after all that time - after all those tiny touches they never talk about, all those stolen moments that never change their friendship - shows to me, at least, that Stiles is capable of having these long, profound, deep loves that don't go away no matter what else happens. He can almost move on, can even believe he has, and can love someone else, but that deep love is still embedded in him. It's essentially a part of who he is. In fact, to me (an obvious Stydia and Sterek supporter), Stydia does not make sense if you don't assume he's loved her, at least a little, through the entire show... which in turn demonstrates that he's capable of holding love for Derek in the exact same way. (Yes, Stiles sort of thinks this trait of his makes him a bad boyfriend to Malia. Yes, he tries to get over both Lydia and Derek multiple times. No, it never fully works.)

If this is how we read Stiles - that he tends to develop these major loves that ebb and flow, grow and wane, and that he can almost get over them, but never quite completely move on - then one thing becomes abundantly clear: his type isn't 5'3 redheads or six foot sourwolves. His type is someone he connects with and understands at a visceral level, because he understands the need to protect your own heart. He knows what it's like, being both clever and traumatized. And he sees them.

Some other things that start to make more sense if we think of Stiles as being at least a little bit in love with both Derek and Lydia throughout the series:

That long look back at Derek's dying body at the end of S4 is the moment when his slow-burning love for him, something he's almost been able to ignore since he's been with Malia, howls back into painful life in his chest as he watches Derek die - and his guilt about having that emotion carries through the rest of his faltering relationship, as he heals from a broken heart he doesn't think he should have

Yes, Stiles is pining for Derek at the beginning of S5, and Scott knows it

In the end, when Derek left and tore a hole out of his heart, Lydia was the one who was there. Derek's leaving is what made Stydia inevitable. This doesn't mean Stydia was any less valid - it means Stiles had two loves, but that all semblance of choice between them was taken away when Derek left.

I know that a lot of Sterekers do feel like Stydia comes out of left field in the show, and that a lot of Stydia fans feel like Stiles and Lydia are singular soulmates. Again, I'm not here to change anyone's opinion on that. But I do think that we, as a generally monogamous society, tend to assume people only carry 'true' love for one other human at a time... and to me personally, the only way the canon makes any amount of sense is if Stiles has true love for them both.

While there's nothing in canon to explicitly suggest that Stiles has interest in having polyamorous relationships - or even if he's thought about it - he's certainly a person who cares for a lot of people at once. To me, that's clear. I think in general, humans often like our love stories to imply that the two people involved are made for each other, that they fit together and with no other person, but in my experience, our emotions often resist that simplicity. Stiles' struggle with all of his varied feelings, his desire to let them go but inability to fully move on, reads very human to me.

Now, I don't believe any TW writers/etc did this on purpose. But TV shows are essentially written by committee - showrunners write arcs, then writers write scripts, then directors stage the story, then actors breathe life into text, then editors edit it, with multiple people at multiple stages having input about different parts of it, etc - so really, no one person is 100% the reason for every little thing you see onscreen. Do I think someone in a writer's room somewhere was like, "Aha! Let's make Stiles fall in love with all of these characters and be confused about it"? No. But like in the Sterek Round Robin Challenge I'm currently a part of, that's kind of the fun of it: that the final story shows a little bit of everyone involved, and doesn't belong wholly to just one person. So while I don't think this is the story anyone set out to tell, I do think it's the story they ended up with, in the end.

Look, as I mentioned in my Derek Hale headcanon post, I am a very fix-the-canon person, as opposed to a fuck-the-canon person, and I know that's sort of an unpopular opinion in the TW world. I know a lot of us just like to think about the parts of the story that interest us, and prefer not to explore the parts that don't, and this is perfectly, 100% fine by me. Do what brings you joy. That's what fandom is for! But what personally brings me joy is story structure and analysis - taking apart the story as a whole, including all its messy, even poorly-written parts, and seeing how the whole thing works (or doesn't work) together. This is what I'm doing here. And taking the entire story as a whole, every wonderful and shitty moment together? Welp, that Stiles is a little bit in love with both Derek and Lydia is the only conclusion I personally can come to.

I guess all that's left to ask is this: why then am I so obsessed with Sterek and do I post so little about Stydia? Well, the canon gave me exactly the Stydia story I wanted. That arc finished in a wonderful, satisfying way for me. The Sterek arc, though, feels excised from the story entirely, almost surgically removed at around the point of 3B, and therefore completely unfinished. This is why I'm so interested in reading/writing future fic: I want to finish up all the unfinished arcs... Sterek included. :)

ALRIGHT BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED STILES AND/OR STEREK PROGRAMMING~

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Stiles has no problem with knowing Scott can smell all his, uh, teenage hormones and pastimes on him. They're brothers; they know everything about each other. He knows no embarrassment when it comes to Scott McCall. But when he knows he's gonna see Derek... well, suddenly he takes a lot of showers. :3

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

If Stiles ever gets bitten, two things will happen.

1) His eyes will be blue. Scott doesn't think of anything the Nogitsune did as being Stiles' responsibility, but Stiles sure does. He carries the weight around his heart of a boy who has murdered innocents.

2) He'll be a werefox. Sure, his body is functionally human in every way, but at the end of the day, it's a construct made for him by a thousand-year-old demon. He can never, ever shake that. And he doesn't want to look at himself in the mirror every day and see what the Nogitsune did.

If he had reasons before he became void not to want the bite, he has a thousand more after it.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Again, I'm not usually the person to ask for fuck-the-canon content, but I'll offer this up as tribute:

Stiles memorized all the books on Derek's bookshelf and secretly borrowed copies from the library (to prevent his scent getting all over Derek's copies and clueing him in). A lot of them are dense, formal reads, and some are kinda a slog, but he keeps going anyway... because he wouldn't admit it, but they're also kinda good. :P

#ask games #greyhavenisback #my writing #asks #metas #teen wolf #otp: interspecies idiots #sterek #stydia

[asterekmess]

Petition for Cora, Lydia, Kira, Heather and Erica to replace Scott as Stiles’ Best Friends in every single Teen Wolf story

XD Yassssss. Like, I do love Jackson and Isaac, and I think they make great sort of, antagonistic friends? The kind that are 90% humor and teasing, but still solid underneath? But Stiles just had so much best friend chemistry with the girls? The comics with Erica (which i know Isaac also liked comics, but we get to see erica and stiles Interact About comics? if that makes sense?), the history with Heather, the education/nerdiness with Lydia. Kira and Cora are Slightly harder for me to imagine on the best friend front, just bc I struggle with the commonalities? Though, I think Kira's supposed to be a bit of a nerd as well, so she could join their study groups. XD And Cora, we know almost nothing about, but I like the idea of her being a sort of....since she already Does act like Derek, I think it'd be funny if she did what Derek might have done if he hadn't started off hating/distrusting Stiles? Like platonically, obviously. But if Derek hadn't started his friendship/general relationship with Stiles disliking him so much, I think he'd have been more protective of him from the start? Maybe insisted he learn some stuff to protect himself too if he was going to insist on being involved? So i love the idea of Cora coming in, and since she doesn't have that original distrust of him, she see Stiles and just sort of....steals him for preparation of being in a wolf pack. "You're dressed like an idiot, we're getting you a leather jacket for protection. I'm teaching you hand to hand so that hunters at least can't sneak up on you. Lemme get you a new bat. Come exercise with me!" Etc. Etc. And she just decides that since he's going to be involved anyway, then he should at least be safe and prepared, and she take him under her wing as her sort of pet human that she teaches about werewolves and hunters and all the stuff Derek was too uncomfortable to share in the beginning. And bc sterek is life, Derek sees his little sister bonding with Stiles in that way and realizes how much he didn't do that he should have at the start to keep Stiles safe, and starts dropping in stuff while they talk. Correcting Cora, or adding onto her lists, or pointing something out she might've missed. And Stiles gets to watch Cora and Derek snipe at each other; Cora occasionally asking if Derek wants to just teach Stiles himself, since he won't stop butting in, and Derek damn near sticking his tongue out at her before he leaves. And then as soon as he's gone, Cora goes back and adds what Derek was talking about like she'd thought of it first. And Stiles is just torn between cackling at them acting so much like actual siblings, and blushing like crazy because they sound like they're fighting over who gets to be his werewolf mentor. How fucking often does Stiles have people fight over him? ACTUALLY, let's go back to the best friend thing, bc ANY ONE of those girls would fucking fight for Stiles. Not just getting outright cranky if someone else tried to take their best friend spot, but actually Standing Up for him. They're all either loud anyway, like Lydia and Erica and Cora, but even the quieter seeming ones like Kira and Heather are loyal as fuck and would find a voice if it meant being there for him. They're all people who would be fiercely protective of him, and I fucking LOVE IT.

#personal #meta ramblings #? does this count as that? or should i have a headcanon's tag? #Screw it #it's just me rambling abt the show #so i'll leave it under the meta tag #go for it

[when-they-write-stuff]

SterekWeek2020: Day Seven (Halloween)

(so late, but finally here!)

~

Derek was acting strange.

And yeah, Stiles supposed he really shouldn’t be that surprised. Derek was always acting strange in some way or another, it seemed like. For a man who had basically built his reputation on the idea that he was this big scary werewolf, Derek Hale had shown himself to be a lot more complex than that.

But the point was, Derek Hale was acting strange. And Stiles didn’t know why.

It started with the little things. Things like Derek vanishing out of nowhere and coming back to the loft much later in ruffled clothes and a pleased expression on his face. Stiles had asked the betas on multiple occasions what the hell was happening, but none of them ever seemed to know.

Or really care, for that matter. Erica would shrug and drag Boyd off to her room for some ‘alone’ time and Isaac would proceed to wrap himself in blankets and hog the TV, the volume up much too loud to cover up what Stiles could only assume were sounds he was glad he didn’t have the enhancements to hear.

Sometimes, there were perks to being human.

Derek always came back, of course. The first time he’d vanished, Stiles had been over helping Isaac with his homework— something Scott had roped them into. It had started as a pack study group, except then the young Alpha had gotten back together with Allison and spent more time at her house than at the loft anymore.

It didn’t help that Isaac needed the help, too. And Stiles would like to say that he had a heart of gold, thank you very much, and was kind enough to never abandon the beta.

Also, he got to hang around Derek— er, the other betas. At the loft. Nothing else.

The one downside was Peter.

When Stiles had asked him about Derek’s mysterious getaways, Peter had only smirked over the top of his book. And Stiles knew the asshole knew exactly where Derek kept going, but he was very conveniently keeping that information to himself.

Which made Stiles feel a little less bad when he spent time at the loft pretending Peter didn’t exist. 

The first time Derek had vanished out of nowhere, Stiles had waited until the man came back. And Derek had come through the loft door hours later, shirtless and in ripped pants, looking like he’d gotten into a fight with a mountain lion and lost. But when Stiles had bombarded him with questions, refusing to leave until he got some sort of answer, Derek had just shrugged and locked himself in his room, leaving Stiles alone in the silent loft.

He’d tried to get Derek to talk since, he really had. Stiles had even attempted to follow the man once, but he’d only made it to the preserve before he lost Derek among the trees.

It was probably werewolf stuff, Scott had said. He didn’t seem very intrigued that Derek was living a secret second life, but Stiles supposed he hadn’t expected the boy to be. He just wanted someone to be as curious as he was and the betas were a bust, Scott was too obsessed with Allison, and when Stiles had tried to bring it up with Lydia, she’d proceeded to turn around and walk away.

It was Derek’s business, she’d said. Which… yeah. But still. Stiles was confused.

Months ended up passing since that very first day. Derek continued to act strange on certain days and go on mini-vacations, and Stiles continued to be utterly lost. It wasn’t until he’d nearly given up that things finally changed.

It was Halloween night when Stiles finally figured out Derek’s little secret.

He knew the betas planned to go around town in their beta forms, scaring the crap out of little kids, but Stiles had already decided he wasn’t going with them. Because when someone inevitably called the cops and Stiles’s dad showed up, he was not going to be the betas scapegoat.

No, Stiles planned on hanging out at the loft with the others to watch scary movies. Derek had been a little stubborn when Lydia first volunteered his place to meet up, but the man had eventually given in. Even Derek Hale knew better than to argue with Lydia Martin.

And Stiles totally wasn't looking forward to spending time at Derek’s loft. Totally not at all.

He might’ve been a little.

Except Derek wasn’t at the loft when Stiles arrived.

“Okay,” Stiles said, coming back into the main room after doing a thorough search of the loft. “Where the hell is our mighty Alpha?”

“Why does it matter?” Scott asked, looking confused. He was curled up on the couch with Allison, and she didn’t look too worried either. From where she sat in the other chair, Lydia didn’t even glance up from her phone.

“He’s gone,” Stiles said. “Again. Doesn’t that ever strike any of you as strange?”

“Not really,” Scott said. Allison shrugged.

“Maybe he's out doing something.”

“Like?”

She glanced at Scott, who shook his head. “Keeping an eye on the betas?”

“Derek doesn’t babysit the betas,” Stiles said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m pretty sure he’d sooner eat his own hand.”

“Gross, Stiles,” Lydia said, making a face. Stiles rolled his eyes.

“You know it’s true. He’s gone again. On Halloween night. What the hell is more important than scary movies and candy on Halloween night?”

“Why do you care so much?” Lydia said, a familiar glint in her green eyes. It was that knowing look she’d gotten the first time Stiles had complained about Derek’s antics. Glaring at her, Stiles fished out his keys and started toward the loft door, grabbing his hoodie from the back of the nearest chair.

“I don’t,” he said. “But the asshole is being weird and I’m going to go figure out what he’s doing.”

“Oh, come on, Stiles,” Scott called. “You’re going to miss the movie!”

“There’s plenty of time to watch scary movies tonight,” Stiles said, waving a hand over his shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

Stiles was pretty sure Scott started to say something else, but he didn’t stick around to listen. 

And yeah, maybe Derek’s business was Derek’s business or whatever. But Stiles was pretty damn curious and he’d had enough. The man was hiding something from them and for some reason, nobody else seemed to care.

What if he was in trouble? Secretly dying? Had an embarrassing hobby that Stiles totally wanted to know about?

The possibilities were endless.

He wasn’t exactly sure where to go looking for the man. The preserve was usually Derek’s go-to when Stiles attempted to follow him, but that never ended well. One time, he’d ditched the Camaro on the side of the road and literally disappeared— and Stiles hadn’t even known what to think about that.

Maybe Derek was also part ghost. A werewolf alpha ghost.

Okay, maybe not.

Stiles ended up deciding to do a quick drive of the town. Because if Derek really was being a ‘disproving Alpha’ to the betas, then he might as well find out before wasting his night looking for one grumpy-growly werewolf. And maybe he could get to see Derek chew them out too.

That was always amusing.

There were already tons of people out, even though it wasn’t that dark yet. Stiles wasn’t really sure where the betas would go, but he may or may not have put a tracker into Isaac’s phone the first time Isaac let him borrow it. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t trust the boy or anything, but Derek’s betas always seemed to be getting themselves in trouble. And Stiles knew there was no way he was ever getting his hands on the phones of the other two.

He’d put a tracker in Derek’s too, if he could only figure out what the man’s freaking password was. It wasn’t like Derek was good at technology but damn, if the man didn’t know how to keep unwanted visitors out of his phone.

Isaac’s phone placed him all the way across town. In one of Beacon Hills larger neighborhoods, probably scaring the crap out of innocent little kids, if Stiles was right.

He was.

He caught sight of the betas almost immediately— and quickly ducked down. Because Stiles hadn’t gone with them for a reason, remember? And that reason was looking at him right in the face in the form of flashing police lights and Stiles’s dad looking disappointed, giving the betas the chewing-out that Stiles had kind of hoped to see Derek giving.

The grumpy Alpha, on the other hand, was nowhere in sight. Stiles did spot a small group of trick-or-treaters and their parents watching, though. 

And a giant black dog, standing a little ways away from the flashing lights.

Stiles tilted his head, watching the dog curiously. He couldn’t make out a collar, but it seemed well-behaved enough, sitting on someone's lawn and watching the betas get lectured. It almost looked… interested. In a scarily human way.

Suddenly, dark amber eyes were locked on his own and then the dog was watching him.

Stiles jerked, hitting his elbow on the steering wheel with a curse. And when he looked back, rubbing at his funny bone, the dog was gone.

As if it had never been there.

Stiles stared for another long moment before shaking his head, wondering faintly if he was going crazy.

He drove off before he could get caught by one of the betas or worse, his dad, determined to have nothing to do with them being idiots. At this point, it was much darker, and Stiles figured he was never going to find Derek unless the man wanted to be found.

Which clearly, he didn’t.

So Stiles headed home, deciding to grab a few of his favorite horror movies before heading back to the loft. He’d probably already missed the first one, but that wasn’t a big loss. Scott had brought it and the boy had terrible taste in movies. 

He still hadn’t seen Star Wars yet.

Stiles hadn’t spent Halloween at home since his mom’s death. Before, they used to decorate the house and hand out candy, but things changed when she passed. And Stiles wasn’t a little kid anymore. His dad worked Halloween night anyway, and Stiles hated to be alone in the silence, so he usually ended up going to the McCall’s instead of hanging out alone. 

Or, that’s what he’d done before the pack. Before he had other people to spend the holidays with.

Stiles would never admit out loud how much he kind of loved it.

Which brought him back to his sour mood and the fact that Derek wasn’t around tonight. Stiles didn’t think he’d be so offended if the man would just tell one of them what he was doing. It wasn’t like he was worried about the asshole or whatever, but… it’d be nice to know.

That’s all it was.

Stiles grabbed a few movies, a bag of chips (because Derek never had any good snacks around), and headed back out into the night to see a large black dog sitting on his lawn.

The large black dog.

Stiles froze, movies in one hand and the bag of chips in the other. For a moment, he didn’t move and the dog didn’t either, looking at him with those eerily knowing eyes.

“Uh,” Stiles finally said, taking a nervous step back. “Hey, there, doggie?”

The dog growled. And if Stiles was being honest, it looked a lot more like a wolf than a dog, big enough to probably rip out his throat with ease.

Stiles suddenly froze, staring. 

A grumpy-growly wolf-dog. Following him and the betas around, all while Derek was on the loose who-knew-where...

“No freaking way,” Stiles breathed. “Sourwolf?”

Either he was losing his mind and talking to stray wolf-dogs, or Derek was sitting right in front of him. Not ripping his throat out, which Stiles supposed he should be grateful for, but was this really the secret the man had been keeping for months?

“Oh my god, dude, you go furry now?”

The dog snarled, stalking forward. Stiles squeaked, dropping both the movie and bag of chips. He stumbled back, ramming against the door, and fumbled blindly for the doorknob. Except, before he could yank it open and maybe spend the rest of the night hiding from an angry wolf-dog-thing, it was getting larger, less furry, and suddenly Derek Hale was standing in front of him.

Stiles yelped, clapping his hands over his eyes and turning his face away.

“Dude, genitals!”

Yeah, that sentence actually left his mouth.

And it wasn’t like Stiles had never imagined seeing Derek naked before, but if he had, it would not be in a situation like this. Stiles was far too shocked to remove his hands for a moment, but he was pretty sure that a grown man standing naked on his front porch was going to get the cops called and— and his dad could not see this.

Oh god, his dad could never see this.

“D-Derek?”

“Stiles.”

Stiles flinched, lowering his hands but keeping his eyes firmly closed. Turning around blindly, he felt around until he found the doorknob and turned it, stumbling back into his house. And after a moment, he heard what sounded like Derek following.

“Shut the door behind you,” Stiles said, finally opening his eyes but keeping them straight ahead. “I swear to god, dude, shut the door and hope for both our sakes that nobody saw you go from furry to nude in like, three seconds.”

Stiles heard what sounded like an unimpressed grunt, but he was really trying to pretend like there wasn’t a naked werewolf behind him, thank you very much. After a second, he heard the door shut, and then footsteps moved forward.

“Nope!” Stiles shouted, squeezing his eyes closed again. “Nope, do not take another step, dude! Not until you have some clothes on!”

“Stiles,” Derek growled, definitely sounding irritated now. Stiles waved a hand over his shoulder, cutting the man off.

“Nuh-uh. I’m going to go get you something to wear and you are going to stay… right where you are. Wherever you are. No moving, no going anywhere. No going furry again!”

“Stiles—”

“I swear to god, Sourwolf, I will murder you if you don’t listen to me right now.”

Derek went silent and Stiles waited for a moment longer before realizing he had the upper hand here. More than relieved, he stumbled toward the stairs, keeping his gaze firmly averted until the living room was out of sight 

On the top of the stairs, Stiles could easily freak out in peace. He was pretty sure Derek could still hear his heartbeats but whatever.

There was a naked werewolf one floor below. Derek Hale was naked in his living room.

And the man had just been a damn wolf.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Stiles said, heading for his dad’s room. The last time he’d attempted to make Derek wear his clothes, it had nearly ended in a murder, so he figured he’d go with the safe option this time. And that ended up being a pair of sweatpants and Beacon Hills PD t-shirt that Stiles was going to make sure his dad never wore again.

Derek Hale and the Sheriff sharing clothes might be something Stiles would never recover from.

He paused at the top of the stairs again, debating just throwing them down and telling Derek to fetch. But that probably wouldn’t end well either. Taking a deep breath, Stiles moved back downstairs and turned into the living room again, turning his gaze to the floor the moment he caught sight of a bare chest and Derek’s slightly peeved expression.

The man hadn’t moved, at least.

“Here,” Stiles said, thrusting the stack of clothes forward. He heard Derek grunt and could easily imagine the man rolling his eyes, but Derek took them without a complaint.

Stiles turned a little ways away, eyeing the wall with interest until the rustling of clothes turned into silence once more and he glanced back to see Derek finally clothed.

“Oh, thank god,” Stiles said. Derek rolled his eyes.

“Are you happy now?”

“Am I— no, asshole, I’m not happy! You were just naked. And before that, you were a freaking wolf. A wolf! When the hell did that happen?”

Derek’s face tightened. “It’s new.”

“New as in it started a few months ago? You know, when you started disappearing out of nowhere?”

Derek didn’t answer. Stiles groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I hate you sometimes, you know that?”

“I can just leave,” Derek shot back, folding his arms over his chest. Stiles threw up his hands.

“Yeah, well, why did you come here in the first place?”

“Why were you following me all over town?”

“Following— following? I wasn’t following you, asshole! I didn’t even know where the hell you were! I was looking,” Stiles said, glaring. “There’s a difference.”

Derek’s tight expression didn’t change. “Okay, why were you looking?”

“Because I was worried!”

Derek’s eye twitched. But before he could say another word, the doorbell rang and Stiles startled, glancing at it and cursing. 

“Trick-or-treaters. But we don’t have any candy to hand out.”

“So just ignore it.”

Stiles went silent and a few seconds passed before the doorbell rang again. Cursing again, he waved Derek off and hurried into the kitchen, scrounging around before finding a box of granola bars. Figuring that would have to be good enough, he rushed back over to the door and pulled it open.

There were only a handful of kids on the step, thankfully. The air filled with the chorus of “trick or treat!” and Stiles put on his best smile, offering the granola bars forward.

One kid frowned. “Where’s the candy?”

“Not here, dude.”

“Why not?”

Stiles raised an eyebrow at him, but before he could say a word, the kid stiffened with a gasp. Turning around, Stiles realized Derek had come to stand behind him, the man’s eyes glowing bright red and his face half-shifted.

A second passed. Then, a chorus of screams filled the air and all of the kids turned, racing from the doorstep. Stiles blinked after them, then turned back toward Derek, staring at the man incredulously.

“Dude, what the hell?”

Derek looked unbothered, the red fading from his eyes as he turned back around. Stiles gazed after him, then glanced back over his shoulder, swallowing hard at the glares from the parents on the sidewalk. He was pretty sure one of the kids was crying.

Oh, this was just fantastic.

“Oh my fucking god,” Stiles said, slamming the door closed. “Derek, you can’t just do that!”

“You can’t give granola bars out instead of candy.”

“Um, excuse me,” Stiles said, gesturing around. “But do you see any candy lying around? And you probably just scarred all of those kids for life, you know!”

Derek shrugged, dropping down onto the couch. “They’ll be fine.”

“I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

The man raised an eyebrow, as if he hadn’t just nearly given a bunch of children heart attacks. Stiles stood rooted to the spot for a moment before stalking over, jabbing a threatening finger in the werewolf’s face.

“You’re going to tell me how this started. Now.”

Derek didn’t look fazed. And dammit, if Stiles didn’t hate him sometimes.

“Derek, I swear to god—”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Derek said. “It’s new. My mother could full-shift and now I can too.”

Stiles clenched his jaw. “And you didn’t think to tell the rest of the pack?”

“I was learning how to control it.”

“You know, some of us could have helped.”

Derek gave him a flat look. And Stiles did his best not to flush bright red, crossing his arms as he dropped into the armchair across from the man. 

“I could have helped.”

“Hm.”

“You were a dog,” Stiles stated. And to the man’s continued silence, he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Oh my god, you can turn into a dog.”

“A wolf, Stiles.”

“Wolf, dog, whatever. You can literally rip throats out now.”

When he glanced through his fingers, Derek almost looked a little pleased. And nope, that wasn’t fair at all. Stiles had a real reason to fear for his life when he pissed the man off a little too much, now. And that was not something to be pleased about.

Not in his book, at least.

“You could have told someone, you know,” Stiles said grumpily. “I mean, other than Peter.”

“Peter?”

“Yeah, Peter,” Stiles said, “Trust me, the Creeperwolf knows.”

Derek actually looked a little surprised at that. Stiles rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“What?”

Stiles looked at him in disbelief. Because seriously? He’d been trying to figure out what Derek was doing for months now. And the man still seemed surprised that Stiles had wanted to know? “Dude, do you know how many theories I had?”

Derek looked at him blankly. Stiles huffed.

“I swear to god, I thought you were in trouble or dying or something. That’s stressful, dude!”

“I was fine.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t tell anyone that.”

Derek looked confused for a moment. Then his face did something weird-- Derek actually looked more like a soft teddy bear for a moment, instead of a grumpy werewolf, and Stiles didn’t know what the hell to do with that. “I was fine, Stiles.”

Stiles crossed his arms, glaring down at the floor. Derek sighed.

“Well, now you know, right?”

Stiles looked at the floor for another moment before glancing back up. “Why show me tonight? I wouldn’t have figured it out.”

“You were driving all over town looking for me, Stiles.”

“I was concerned!”

Stiles could’ve sworn the corners of Derek's mouth twitched. And yep, this whole thing was weirding him out. From the wolf, to the nudity, to the fact that Derek Hale looked like he was about to smile.

Stiles leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not going crazy, right?”

“Really, Stiles?”

“I’m just saying, dude,” Stiles said, raising his hands. “This is all kind of weirding me out.”

For a moment, Derek looked uncomfortable. “The shift?”

Stiles blinked. Derek glanced away.

“It’s different. From the others. It's strange.”

“Oh my god,” Stiles said. “No, of course that's not it, dude. You being a literal freaking wolf? That’s the coolest thing ever, man.”

Derek glanced up, face a little red. Stiles huffed.

“I guess I’m just not used to having naked werewolves hanging out in my living room.”

The red went all the way to Derek’s ears this time. He scowled, but Stiles thought he could look grumpier. The glare didn't quite reach his eyes and the red of his face was definitely amusing. “Shut up, Stiles.”

“Hmm, sure. So are you going to tell the rest of the pack at some point?”

“At some point.”

Stiles grinned a little bit. “So I’m the only one who knows, then? Other than Peter the Creeper, at least. God, I feel so special.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “For now.”

“I'll take it,” Stiles said, grinning wider. To Derek’s flat look, he raised his hands. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

The man's eyes flashed bright red at that and he smirked. “No, you won’t.”

“I-is that a threat, Sourwolf?”

“You said it yourself. I can rip out throats now.”

A shiver ran down Stiles's spine, but he couldn't tell if it was a terrified one or not. He didn't think so. “I didn’t need that imagery.” And the whole smirking-threat thing totally wasn’t a strange turn on. Not at all.

Dammit.

Except before Derek could say a word again, or maybe catch wind of Stiles's teenage hormones betraying him, the doorbell rang once more. Stiles startled and Derek’s eyes flickered red again. Before the man could go scar more innocent children, though, Stiles jumped up and grabbed the box of granola bars. "Don't you dare."

Derek gave him a flat look. Stiles shrugged.

“I didn’t plan on being around tonight,” he said. “I don't have candy to hand out. Everyone is gathered at the loft anyway. Err, minus the betas perhaps.”

“They might be back by now.”

"Or they're in jail."

Derek didn't look fazed. "It'd be a good lesson."

Stiles rolled his eyes at that, glancing toward the door as the bell rang again. Derek raised an eyebrow, waiting, and Stiles glanced down at the box of granola bars again. Then, he sighed. “Okay, fine, big guy, you get one more scare. Then, we’re going to the loft. Understood?”

The man looked surprised. Stiles smirked a little.

“Or you can stay here and explain to my dad why you’re wearing his clothes when he gets off his shift.”

Stiles was more than entertained to see Derek look terrified for a moment. The big bad wolf, literally looking like Stiles had just threatened him with a stick of wolfsbane. And, full shift wolf or not, Stiles was totally remembering that.

“So?” he said, tilting his head toward the door. And was he a terrible person for allowing this? Maybe a little bit? “Are you gonna go?”

There were definite fangs in Derek half-smirk. That really shouldn’t have been such a turn on too.

Stiles was pretty sure someone was going to call the cops on his house too, just like with the betas. And wouldn’t that confuse the hell out of his dad? Stiles supposed he could always throw them under the bus a second time if needed.

Seconds after Derek opened the door, screams filled the air. Stiles glanced down at the box of granola bars in his hands.

Well…

He set them on the front porch with a ‘take one’ sign when they left, just in case. And Derek made sure Stiles knew he thought the entire thing was stupid and 'granola bars should never be a replacement for candy.' Stiles had never realized the man was such a Halloween snob.

The entire box was still there the next morning.

#sterek #teen wolf #sterekweek2020 #sterek au #wolf!derek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #teen wolf edits #sterek edits #sterek moodboard #derek hale x stiles stilinski #fluff #humor #ficlet #late but here

[booksandwords]

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Read time: 5 Days Rating: 4/5

The quote: You know why people pair up into couples? Because being a human is fucking terrifying. But it's a hell of a lot easier if you're not doing it alone. — Ellis

In the interest of full disclose this is an almost automatic 5 star book for me. Any book that features an aro/ace protagonist and treats them with respect and dignity will get 5 five stars, any writing plot or character other flaws be damned. The world needs more aro/ace representation where we aren't the best friend or something to be fixed. But even without my usual aro/ace crusading, this likely would have been a 5. The character are individual, realistic and oh so human, the plot is centred on identity and confusion but is written in a manner that it is readable. And it is oh so relatable for an ace (aro? demi? grey? my romantic orientation is up in the air) who found out well after school what they were. The anger, confusion, sense of overwhelm, and the bizarre sense of mourning due to the loss of what was impressed on you as the normal. One of the best phrases in the book may be "Says who? The Hetronormative rulebook? Fuck that Georgia Fuck that." and you know what amen to that Rooney. The ending is satisfying but still open as is only right for something written for this demographic. This isn't the end of their story it is only the start.

It is worth saying that for those of us who are ace and comfortable with their identity are aware very early on what is going on with Georgia. Georgia is an anxious, touch averse Ace who is trying to force herself to be "normal". With an extended family of almost perfect hetronormative ideal relationships, met early married had kids that have been subconsciously impressed on her as the future and expected of her. Combined with her love of fanfiction it had to be her to the idea that there is the perfect person for everyone. As stated in the intro to this review Georgia is very realistic in her reactions to her newly discovered identity. Confusion, anger, mourning, insecurity. I personally felt all of these and I know others in the community did as well to varying degrees. Georgia does have a conversation with the wonderful Ellis, an ace in her 30s who had to discover her identity and learn her way on her own. Moments leading up that earn this a trigger warning for something that may or may not be alluding to conversion therapy, either way, it is slightly distressing. Ellis is a beautiful woman and a great inclusion. She is a successful woman, making her own way and living her life regardless of what others think.

A moment on the character who for me is the absolute stand out. Sunil is Georgia's College parent, they end up being a something of fairy godace for Georgia. They would hate that term, but it's so fitting for me. Sunil is a homoromantic nonbinary ace with the preferred pronouns they/him (Georgia/ Oseman use him never they), he is the one who introduces the term asexual to Georgia and tells her the potential of it. I really like him, he makes me smile. No one in an Alice Oseman book is two dimensional in their identity (racial, romantic or sexual), Sunil is no exception. He is handled well with the respect of an only slightly older figure, one who is still not entirely set on their feet. And while Georgia is cis white as well as being an enby Sunil is of Indian descent.

The other supporting characters are Rooney, Pip and Jason. Rooney is Georgia's Shakespeare obsessed roommate. They meet on the first day of university and are total opposites. I like their relationship. It's non-traditional but love in a way I want to see more of. Georgia is loyal despite all of Rooney's actions. Pip and Jason are Georgia's best friends. Pip is chaos, Georgia is silent and Jason is clam. They are something of an odd combination but it works well. Jason and his love of Scooby-Doo is both funny and cute. They are all individual and that there is some conflict between them is a good thing.

This is relatable for aces in a similar way to I Was Born For This was relatable for fandom. I would say that if you enjoyed I Was Born For This for its fandom aspects you will enjoy this, even more, fandom specifically fanfic is part of Georgia and her romantic education such as it is. Georgia (, Sunil and Ellis) face misunderstandings about their sexuality. Those phrase aces hear and hate. Sunil's is particularly important they face bigotry from other members of the LBGTQ community, where it is called a made-up sexuality. Georgia gets the 'you'll find the right person', 'have you tried...', 'what about when you are older'. We've all heard them and I could hear the tone. Some of the statements are apologised for others are not, the ones that are are important and say a lot about the importance and development of the character.

A random dump because concise reviews are not possible for Alice Oseman books.

Tommy ending up in the fire is funnier than it should be. I see all kinds of unwarranted metaphors.

Fried Egg is the cutest nickname that would make no sense to anyone but the participating people involved.

Kinsey Scale Test is something hadn't heard of but yeah that is a result a questioning person doesn't want to see.

QUILTBAG is an acronym I had never heard in the LGBTQ community. It's not new, I found it in a 2012 article, where I found this definition it is a good article. "It stands for QU is for queer and questioning, I for intersex, L for Lesbian, T for transgender and transsexual and Two-Spirit, B for bisexual, A for asexual and ally, and G for gay and genderqueer. Even with all those letters, we’ve missed some of the possibilities (such as pansexual and fluid, both of which are identities I’ve heard people claim), but QUILTBAG still offers a rainbow of different ways to identify. It’s also a lot easier to say than LGBTQIA (which is what I started using after I realized how exclusive LGBT and queer were)."

Am I the only one who doesn't know what the Bailey Ball is? They aren't an Australian thing. Well, that and I studied uni by distance.

Rooney and Ellis make some brilliant points about friendship and its importance to aces. The way it is made lesser than romantic relationships in general.

Apparently all the Oseman books are set in a common universe, the easiest evidence of this in Loveless is in the reference to Universe City from Radio Silence.

Roderick the plant as a metaphor was smart. I quite liked it.

This is a really quotable book there are fantastic quotes about love, friendship and maturity.

As an aside. The protagonist brings up her love of fanfic early in the book. There is there are precious little aspec fanfics out there. Mostly one would suspect because sex makes the tv industry go-round (see Shadowhunter and Riverdale for their treatment of originally aroace characters). As Clotpolesonly wrote in reply to me "aspec AUs are practically unicorns, they're so rare in fandom". One fandom that does have fanfics for them is Teen Wolf. Derek Hale can easily be read as an aspec (usually closer to the demi or grey part of the spectrum). So even if you don't know the show have a fic rec Magic and Drag Queens and Lizards, Oh My by clotpolesonly. Also That's When I Knew by Stennerd, this is for the 911 fandom pairing is Buddie, demisexual. There are I know more but not nearly as many as there are for some others.

#alice oseman #osemanverse #loveless #lgbtq #book review #asexuality #aromantic #sorry people this review is almost obsencely long #ktreviews #read 2020 #jazzyjess #clotpolesonly #jess and jessica i'm tagging you because i reference your fics

[slashingdisneypasta]

Inkubus x Vampire!Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Always There

Notes:

I think outta all Englund's characters on this blog, I like writing for Inkubus the most. Which is criminal seeing as I write for him the least. I need to change that haha.

Plot: You meet up with a very old friend of yours and you spend some time catching up. And he's so clearly in love with you, its unbelievable and torturous to him that no matter what he does, you don't notice.

Warnings: A very unreliable narrator (In terms of particular other peoples clear feelings for her), BLOOD, DRINKING BLOOD, DRAINING SOMEONE OF BLOOD (But in a sort of polite way? Hah), MENTIONS OF AN ABUSIVE EX PARTNER, vampires and incubus'.

The smell of iron and petrichor fills your nostrils, disgusting and refreshing and also, just... relieving... in equal measure filling you up as you kneel by the victim - the man you'd chosen, - for tonight; A needle and tube attached to a blood bag between your fingers and digging into the poor mans neck.

You hate doing this, knowing this guy will be weak and sick feeling for the next day - maybe two depending on how much you take from him, - without understanding why. But, its for sure better then the alternative- which is just digging in right here and now with your teeth. That's messy, and the marks you leave behind aren't easy to explain away as 'animal attacks' anymore.

You need the blood, but you aren't a savage, jeez. You always catch any new vampire movies or shows together with your daughter and watch those actors with blood all over their chins, and think... How old are these vamps supposed to be?? 300 hundred years old!?

And they don't know how to eat without getting it all over their face?

Pfft! Rolling your eyes, you gently shake your head at the memories of bloody Edward Cullen and Lestat and Damon Salvetore swimming around in your head as watch the man's breathing. To be fair, you love them all - Twilight, Interview with a Vampire, The Vampire Diaries, Nosferatu, Vampires Vs the Bronx, etc, - but that's just because its more fiction then truth- and that's coming from an honest to goodness bloodsucker.

Finally deciding you've taken enough without truly hurting the man, you put pressure on his neck and pull out the needle, carefully wipe away any mess with a cotton ball from your bag and put a band aid on him.

"Now," You talk firmly, softly, as you look into his eyes - which are dull, almost sleeping. A nice touch to the docile state you put your victims, in so they can at least not feel any pain or fear while you're collecting your feed, - , hands on his shoulders. "You're not going to remember this, or me. You're going to get a taxi home," You tuck some money in his shirt pocket, a thank you for his service; Its the least you could do. "Then get into bed and have a wonderful sleep with lots of lovely dreams. Thank you so much."

After you watch the man get up, still in a bit of daze but shaking it off - and not even noticing your presence, crouched down by where he's standing, - and leave the alleyway, you carefully pack away the blood bag and the tube and needle (In a separate plastic bag, for you to clean and sanitise when you get home) in your satchel and finally get back up, wrapping the strap over your head and resting it on your shoulder.

Brushing a hand through your hair, you turn to leave the alleyway and go home- when a familiar voice speaks up from the very back of the alley- and immediately your hopes rise.

"You look even more beautiful every time I see you."

You smile, peering into the darkness. "Oh, that's very sweet... but you and I both know I look like trash. I haven't eaten for a week!" When he just chuckles back, you tilt your head and waive him over. "Come out here so I can see you!; When did you get into town?"

Gracefully - more so then even you can manage, being a goddamn vampire, - Inkubus slips out of the darkness and you're happy to see he looks well. Its been forever since you say him last - 40 years? 70? - and you always have it in the back of your head for some reason that next time you see your friend, it'll be the last time. So its always lovely when he turns up and looks just as healthy as he always does.

"Oh I just got here; Thought I would come see you immediately. Otherwise you might nag at me." This time you chuckle, rolling your eyes. His eyes flicker to your satchel. "Collecting our dinner our we?"

"Yep! Smells like A Negative, my favourite. When was the last time you ate?"

"Ohh, a couple weeks ago. I'm due for my next fill soon, though... any suggestions?"

"No," Scrunch up your nose, you put a lot of emphasis on your response; See, you don't subscribe to the notion that monsters like the two of you have to act all blasé and cocky about the terrible things they must do. Apart from these night time trips to find breathers to bleed, you live a... mostly... normal life! So no- you definitely don't know anyone he can make his next victim.

And Inkubus knows this, which is why he laughs and you roll your eyes again at him, fixing the satchel on your shoulder. "So- " Again his eyes flicker to your bag, this time with meaning. A cheeky grin flits across his lips. "Want to get a drink?"

Smiling, you turn on your heel, you loop your arm through his and lead the way. "So have you been?"

___TIME SKIP___

4 hours later and the two of you are still stewing at a 24-Hour-Diner you frequent - seeing as you don't really sleep that much, - and are onto your 9th drinks at this point. You two may not see each other too often since the 1400's and went your separate ways in the world, but you never go longer then a hundred years - preferably 80 maximum, - without seeing each other and when you do- you have a lot to say. Filling each other in on what you've missed in each others lives is always a... disorientating experience, at times, but you must do it. You couldn't survive in a world where you didn't know what was happening in your best friends life. That would just be too lonely.

See, Inkubus is the only one you know - still, to this day, - who knew you when you were human, aside from the man referred to very nearly exclusively as 'Dick for brains' - being your daughters father, - and while having human friends who can make you feel normal again, is wonderful... so is feeling normal, in what you actually are currently. And that's not human. That's thousands and thousands of years old and a mystery to scientists. And, seeing as he's a literal demon... that's a very easy service for him to provide.

A waitress walks by to pick up you empty glasses and looks oddly at your personal tumbler. You clearly weren't meant to notice, but you do of course, and unassumingly shrug. "Bloody Mary... don't tell." You give her a conspiratorial wink, and she chuckles, walking off.

When you look back to Inkubus, he looks ready to make a joke so you give him a timid shrug. "Well, there is vodka and Tobasco sauce in it!... " He smirks, but lets it go- seeing as your words were funny enough.

"And how is Bethany? Has she seen her father lately...?" Your eyebrows arch, hearing Inkubus ask about him; Dick for Brains, Beth's father and the bane of your long, long existence. Obviously, seeing as the bastard impregnated you with his literal spawn of hell causing you to die during childbirth at age 26 so he could then turn you into a vampire, made you raise your daughter alone- and then returned 20 years later just to turn Beth into a vampire as well and claim that you can all be a 'proper family now'... you aren't a huge fan of the guy. And talking about him you don't do often, as it causes a horrible clenching feeling in your stomach and heart. Luckily, Inkubus is one of the few people who is allowed to make you feel that way. Him, and Beth.

You sigh, taking a slow sip of your drink through the matching metal straw and metal tumbler set Beth got your last mothers day (So as to hide the fact that its blood inside), you wonder what to say... "Beth's great, as always... she's fallen in love with a human, though. That can only end brilliantly." Shaking your head, you look to Inkubus to see his reaction and catch him rolling his eyes, smirking. Yep. "Um, and... yes. There has been contact with Dick for Brains... He recently, like... 20 years ago? turned up at her place in Egypt, and wouldn't leave till I had to fly down there and shoo him away." You grit your teeth. There is so much wrong with that man- you do honestly with you had never met him sometimes. That's horrible, you know, as if you hadn't met him you wouldn't have had Beth and she's the light of your life, but... at times like that instance? When he troubles her?

Its hard to not wish his existence away.

"Do you want me to speak with him?... Again... ?" Your gaze returns to Inkubus again, feeling at ease the moment your minds back in the diner with him and not in your head with Dick for Brains; Eyes softening. The idea is tempting, unbelievably tempting... And it would keep your friend around awhile longer. "That always seems to win you a couple hundred years of reprieve."

Taking a deep, needless breath - an anxious habit, - you set down your tumbler and shake your head. "No, that's okay... thank you for the offer, though. He seems to be giving up, slowly, finally. But damn, its taken him long enough to get the hint, huh?"

"Far too long." Inkubus' voice is bitter and dark, talking about your ex- and his eyes are reading much different. You know if you let him, he would kill Derek... but you cant do that. If anyone's going to kill him, it would be you or Beth, and neither of you are there yet. Inkubus takes a deep breath, relaxing again like a chameleon changing its colours. "Anyway, love; Onto prettier business. How did that thing go, that you had with that Djinn half a century ago. You seemed quite optimistic about that one."

A fluttering of laughter immediately comes out of you and Inkubus' truly cheers up at the sight of it, and you just look at him and shake your head; An awkward toothless smile on your lips. Ha! No.

His brows arch, laughter in his eyes. "Didn't end well?"

"That ended up being the shortest affair I've ever had and that's saying something." Brushing hair back from your face, you chew on your bottom lip. "You'd think after nearly 10 centuries, I'd learn... Oh- wait- make that 10 and nearly a half, centuries... Boy, am I clueless."

"Clueless about what, love?" You're just breathing in to respond, when a cheeky look crosses Inkubus' familiar face. "I mean, you are quiet clueless- about plenty of things. But specifically, this time."

You scrunch up your nose at him in response, grinning, before once again chewing on your bottom lip. "... I'm just not the woman that gets proposed to." You shrug, as if its no big deal; Even though your heart bleeds saying it out loud for the first time, to someone that matters and not just your ex-therapist, Julie. Setting your drink on the table in front of you, you idlily twist it. "Obsessed over and stalked, yes." You grin, a tinge of sadness to it. "Fucked, yes. Dated even, yes. But married?... Ha, no... "

His eyebrows climb up his forehead even more, before he softly smiles and pats your hand. "I asked you to marry me, all those years ago, sweetheart. Remember?" He reminds you gently, and you cant help giving a soft smile back at your well-meaning friend.

"Oh, yes of course I do. That was very sweet, but... I mean for love, you know? Not because I'm pregnant and alone."

Inkubus sighs, slightly frustrated, and leans back in his seat. "Mhmmm... " Rubbing a finger under his nose, he quickly clears his throat. Then he reaches his hand further up your arm to lay it on your forearm, running his thumb comfortingly across your skin. "Love, I'm sure that you'll find someone. Perhaps multiple someone's. Or, maybe, you don't need to find anyone new."

A little smile twitches at your lips as you pick up his hands and hold it on the table in both of yours. "... Maybe." For a split millisecond, your friend smiles. Sighing wistfully, you shrug. "Maybe I can learn to be happy alone. I mean, I like my life. I like my daughter, I like my job, I like my patterns... Maybe I don't need a man." Immediately his smile disappears and he rolls his eyes.

"You definitely don't need a man." He sighs, frowning. "But one can be good for a few things, no?"

"Hey." You set him with a stern look. "I thought we were making me feel better, about not having one?"

"Oh, you're right. I rescind my comment."

"You better." A cheeky grin crosses your face.

He looks back at it, the cheeky grin of yours, and the smile returns to his face.

~

The sun is warming up when you're on your way home, Inkubus beside you with his arms folded carefully behind his his back and your hands stuffed in your leather jacket pockets; One arm linked affectionately through his. You're an odd sight, you're sure, to any early morning commuters. You, and your barely-out-of-college looking self walking so close - and so domestically. A fact that is lost on you but not on the smug demon walking beside you, - to a man that currently looks to be in his 60's-70's age-wise.

Not that either of you care.

"Well, this is my place! Whatdaya think?" You ask, letting him go in order to unlock the door or the townhouse apartment and push open the door. He walks on in past you, looking around and you watch a soft smile grace his handsome features. "You like it?"

"Much better then the hole in the wall you thought was a good idea to show me in Transylvania- took everything in me not to sweep you away somewhere safer... with fewer mould spores... " He turns to look at you over his shoulder, a mischievous smirk on his mouth as you scrunch up your nose at him, before smiling.

"Well then, Mr Judgmental... I guess you don't want to know, that I chose this wallpaper cuz of you."

That definitely catches his attention, more then anything else you've said. He turns around in a full 360, assessing the wallpaper before looking curiously at you. "You... you chose this wallpaper because of... me? How so?"

You shrug, still leaning back against the open front door- sunlight filtering through the doorway. "The colour is very you. Its got 'Inkubus' vibes. You know," Raising your brows at him, you smirk. "Eccentric, full of itself." At that cheeky remark, he says 'Ha ha', sarcastically. "And, I guess, I missed you. Sooo... yeah... wallpaper."

"Hm... " Looking really far too pleased about this, looking a lot more engrossed by the home then before- but mostly the wallpaper. "This place is looking better, suddenly... "

"Like I said- Full of itself." You roll your eyes, laughing. Then you push off the door, push it closed with your foot and then go to pass by Inkubus to hit the livingroom. "Oh! The book! The one we were talking about at the diner- I'll find it for you! Come on- "

"Y/N." A hand curls gently around your arm, at the perfect moment so that you don't get yanked back with the force of your travelling and instead you just coat to a careful halt at Inkubus' side.

Blinking up at him curiously, wondering what he needed you for so suddenly, you tilt your head to the side. "Yes?"

For a good moment, he just looks at you whilst you become worried. What is happening? Every second that passes by, more and more ridiculous ideas cross your mind.

Finally, the man tilts his head slightly in sincerity.

"Sweetheart, are you ever going to see how ridiculously in love with you I am?"

And... for all of the disastrous and ridiculous possibilities that came to mind when he was saying nothing, you had a response. To this, you just stand their dumbly, your shoulders dropping and just looking at him in total shock. "... wel- uh- um... a few more hundred years?" You feel like a ton of bricks has just been dropped on top of you. "Maybe?" You squeak. You actually squeak.

And of course, you squeaked. You'd be surprised if you had managed to keep your composure after a confession like that. Here's this beautiful man, who against all foreseeable odds understands you, and cares about your kid, and whom you love... and somehow he's telling you that he loves you? That, for some reason, he wants you?

Is there something wrong with him?

There must be. Something terribly, horrible, irreversibly offensive that you aren't already aware of.

But you rack your brain and theirs nothing. Nothing, at all, that you can figure that would make you turn away from him right now.

He smiles a little bit at your awkward reaction, and lets go of your wrist in favour of tucking some hair back behind your ear. "Do you quite mind if I kiss you now?"

Your breath hitches, it actually hitches, like a tiny shy anime girl who's giant crush just got down on his knees in front of her for whatever reason, and you have to fight to pull yourself together; Rolling your shoulders back, hands on your hips. Totally, and translucently fake confident. "Um- you know? I don't?"

God, you are a centuries old vampire; Your vernacular should be yards better then this.

And then kisses you.

Oh god- And then he kisses you.

Because you're suddenly struck hard in the face with a million words and phrases, from current to boomer-speak to old fashioned to forgotten, to describe it but mostly you're just wondering why in the world you hadn't been doing this the whole damn time. Your hands find the sides of his coat in order to steady yourself, and pull him closer as you carefully tilt your head into the kiss. It comes so naturally, the kissing does. Between you and him. Its like, despite the bounds of your relationship never having reached this level before, you know exactly how to kiss each other. There's no awkwardness or searching. You just fit.

When finally, you slowly end the kiss, you fail to open your eyes for a good moment, before cracking them open slightly, half lidded and flickering up to his eyes.

And you take a deep, unnecessary breath and step away, torturously out of Inkubus' personal space. "... holy shit." You have so many questions... None of which touch on how exactly you're feeling because you get that much, at least.

But you cant help but wonder why- and for how long this has been brewing and how long exactly that you missed it- and how the hell this is going to work-

He follows you, thank god, a roguish yet soft look on his face. "Maybe we should take this to the livingroom, love. I promise, I can explain everything to you."

#Inkubus x Reader Oneshot #Inkubus x Reader #Fem Reader #Fem!Reader #Vampire Reader #Vampire!Reader #Inkubus x Vampire!Fem!Reader #Inkubus #Horror Villains #Horror Villains x Reader

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Do you know any crime au's that aren't mafia related? Where they're thieves or con artists or something?

For sure!

(wedding) dressed to kill by rjosettes

(1/1 I 722 I Teen I Derek/Allison)

“Mr. Hale, I’m a professional, but I’m not a miracle worker. I can engineer anaphylaxis in a human man as easily as breathing, but wolfsbane toxicity doesn’t generally happen by accident. This is a much more delicate job. What color are my eyes?" She covers them.

“Um. Brown?”

Release by Anonymous

(1/1 I 3,230 I Explicit I Steter)

A guard pushed a boy in an orange jumpsuit ahead of him, and Peter’s stomach dropped. His wrists were handcuffed in front of him, and he looked slimmer and paler but just as beautiful. His chin still had that arrogant tilt Peter had always loved. Peter didn’t look away from him as the guard unlocked the door, then the handcuffs and said, “Be nice, Hale.”

// Peter and Stiles have history, and now they're cellmates.

Damn Fine Insurance by kits_lightning

(1/1 I 4,890 I Explicit I Sterek)

He couldn’t believe he was fucking collateral for a loan shark. What the fuck had his father gotten himself into this time?

Stiles had no clue where his dad would come up with twelve grand but he knew his father wouldn’t leave him with a pair of criminals.

Well, he hoped.

Is That a Gun In Your Pocket Or...That's a Gun In Your Pocket by Elpie (Horribibble) 

(2/2 I 8,163 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek Hale is the best boyfriend. He's sweet. He's funny. He recites Pablo Neruda completely unprovoked. He also happens to be in the murder business. But hey, nobody's perfect.

-

A romantic comedy with guns and roses. (Well, maybe not the roses.)

You say I am loved (when the wolf can't feel a thing) by divinemove

(2/? I 11,454 I Teen I Sterek)

“I knew my way in this world was different from everyone else's, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I found myself burned in the end. So, don't let me be that ashes that choke you, but, let me try to be your candle, and light your way until I die out.”

His hands trembled, the book almost fell out of his light grip, the air weighing heavily in his lungs and his whiskey brown eyes never left the words written on the paper. Stiles had completely forgotten that he gave this book to Derek; he'd given it to him during one of their private sessions at the prison. The lawyer didn't remember how the book got back to him, and he couldn’t quite be sure of when Derek wrote these words. These words are meant for him, hidden in places that only Stiles can reach in seconds.

Those Hidden Places by Mimiminaj

(1/1 I 18,799 I Explicit I Sterek)

He doesn’t belong here.

It’s the first thought that crosses Derek’s mind as he watches the new inmates spill into the cafeteria. The kid stays close to the wall, eyes scanning all the exits and skimming over the tables. If he’s trying to get a barring for his surroundings he’s doing a shit job of it, something made completely evident as Lewis shoulders him from behind and the kid almost jumps to flatten himself against the wall.

Or

Stiles is the new inmate at Derek's prison. He really didn't expect to fall in love with the mouthy little brat.

Even If I Swim, I’ll Drown by awake0rdreaming

(20/? I 64,968 I Mature I Stalia)

This is the year Malia was going to turn things around. Being freshly emancipated, she was free of the foster system and ready for absolutely anything. Do well in school, work towards a good college. Now on her own, she was more than ready to get her life in order. But it's always the ones that try to do everything right, that get the worst curve balls thrown at them.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #criminal!derek #criminal!stiles #criminals #stalia #malia tate #derek/allison #allison argent #steter #peter hale

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 125

I am so sorry that this is posting late today!! I didn’t realize my queue ran out, or that I didn’t load these in there.

Thank you, every day, to everyone who helped me hang in there as long as I’ve been lucky enough to write this story.  As much fun as the weapons expo was, I swear we are working towards everything else that has changed in the time skip!  I would love to hear what y’all are most excited to find out about.

Shoutouts always go to @baelpenrose, @charlylimph-blog, and @the-raven-fae for all your encouragement, plot bunnies, and beta-reading.

The day after the weapons exhibition, the air on the Ark was still crackling with excitement. Every time I overheard people chattering over a specific performance, I smiled to myself.  That particular event had been the first that Parvati and Hannah planned without my help, and hearing the overwhelming approval for it was something I would be all too happy to convey back to them.  They really had done a great job.

Sebastian ended up bowing out after the first year, because he was unable to balance the demands of the mentorship and the Undine.  As the only one of the three who could not just change their job responsibilities, he had chosen his passion - which absolutely no one was upset about.   Parvati had even joked that we had backup Councillors, but only one Undine.

The response I received from my mentees when I shared what I heard, however, was underwhelming. Hannah gave a small smile and nodded, while Parvati waved off the praise with a scoff. “We were essentially following a template,” she pointed out.

Hannah nodded at me with a rueful expression. “Unfortunately, she’s right.  There wasn’t much of a challenge, there.”

Just as a full pout was settling into my chest, Alistair breezed in and took off his scarf - for once, I couldn’t tell myself it was just for dramatic effect, as the climate controls in public areas were phased in to mimic what was projected for seasonal changes on Von.  Currently it was the cold season, and Alistair was miserable about it. “Of course it wasn’t a challenge,” he scowled. “You both have been assisting Madam Reid since the exhibitions began. However, it is profoundly rude to ignore the feedback you received.” He glared at Parvati and Hannah, who managed to look sheepish. “One of you will be Councillor one day, and your responsibility will be things just like this. You should be pleased with a job well done, not resting on your laurels.”

I nodded and didn’t bother hiding my grin. “He’s right, you know. Besides, don’t forget that this is when the hard part starts.”

Two sets of eyes widened at me, with Hannah adding a gasp of horror. “Oh gods. The feedback…”

“Yep.” I popped the last letter as I took my seat and the coffee that Alistair offered, noticing that he did not retrieve any for my mentees. Apparently he was really miffed by their attitudes before. “And, along with coordinating the event on your own…”

“Sophia, you’re joking,” Parvati glared.

“I am most certainly not,” I shook my head. “Every event, you have to read the feedback. You can filter it all you want, narrow down the categories, whatever. But I strongly recommend that you read all of the negative feedback if nothing else.”

“But you’ve always had help,” Hannah pointed out calmly.

“I did,” I admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I ignored or delegated the important parts.  Having people who you trust to do a pulse check of what is being said unofficially is an extremely valuable tool. However, at the end of the day, the performance of the events, or the projects, or the staffing balances, comes right back to this office and only this office. I can listen to Tyche, or my partners, or other Councillors until my ears fall off. But if something went wrong, or could have been done better, I’m the one who catches fault for that. Which means, eventually, it will be one of you.”

With a deep breath, both women nodded and opened the files in question. After simply staring and scrolling for a few minutes, Parvati sat back and tapped the side of her chin. “Can we filter out all comments under five words and comments with only positive adjectives that do not contain a conditional statement?” She glanced at me and I nodded my approval.

That seemed to spark an idea in Hannah. “Prioritize comments including the words ‘dangerous’, ‘barbaric’, or synonyms of.” When her co-mentee gave her a quizzical look, she shrugged. “It’s good to have at least a count of people who object to the weapons exhibitions, and if they are just a small number at least there are guaranteed to be a few in there that are pretty funny.”

Parvati still looked like she wasn’t convinced, so Alistair spoke up. “If you do not enjoy the weapons exhibitions, why are you attending?”

“Ahhh,” she smiled. Clearly the thought had never occurred to her, which was entirely unsurprising.  Parvati hadn’t dated Xiomara as long as she did by harboring a secret grudge against self-defense and proper applications of force.

Now that they found a starting point for weeding through the feedback, it was clear they were engrossed in gathering information.  Periodically, I would hear one make a considering noise before jotting down a note to come back to later.  I quietly moved to my desk and observed how differently they handled the process - When I went through feedback with Alistair, we shared it on the table emitter so both could see.  Parvati and Hannah, however, sat across from each other, on their singular data pads, flicking particular pieces of information back and forth to each other without even glancing up.  The partnership they had developed over the last four years of working with me was astounding to watch.

“What you are feeling now is exactly what it feels like to watch you and Tyche,” Alistair murmured, startling me out of my reverie. When I glanced at him, he simply lifted an eyebrow and tilted his head. “Even after working with you both for so long, there are moments where it is clear you both are working on some sort of wavelength the rest of us are not aware of.”

“Charly is pretty tuned in to it. And Arthur, when he wants to be.”

“Miss Harper is a force unto herself.” The corner of his mouth lifted in one of his rare, fond smiles. “As for Farro, I am beginning to believe that Reidish is one of the languages he learned for historical manuscripts.” Snark dripped from his tone out of old habit - if there had ever been any animosity between the two, it was long gone.

Although, apparently the hypothetical existence of ‘Reidish’ as a language was still bopping it’s merry way around the Ark.

“Noah,” I pointed out. “They understand us perfectly well.”

“Yes, let us all congratulate you two, not only on the fact that a mind-reading alien understands your communication better than your own species, but also on the fact that you have tainted them with your mannerisms.” The sarcasm would have stung, had he not felt the need to demonstrate by tipping his index finger and thumb over his eye in imitation of an eyebrow with one hand, while making a sock-puppet nod with the other - both of which were gestures Noah used as filler for human body language. The contrast between his words, the gestures, and the absolute deadpan expression on his face sent me into hysterics.

I didn’t realize we were being watched until Hannah’s voice broke through my laughter. “Derek actually taught them the eyebrow one.  That wasn’t Sophia or Tyche.  He started doing it because he can’t just lift one eyebrow, and Miys started mimicking him when they saw how useful it was to convey tone.” When Alistair only stared at her in disbelief, she huffed and turned to her datapad before flicking a recording to the table emitter.

Sure enough, there was Derek, adjusting Miys ‘fingers’ and repeating the gesture for them to imitate. After several adjustments of where the vomu was held, Derek seemed satisfied and flashed a double thumbs-up, which was returned in triplicate.  As the recording ended, Hannah turned back with the smuggest expression I had ever seen on her gentle face.

“I’ll be damned.” Alistair’s voice was soft with surprise and a hint of admiration.

“Hannah, how do you have that?” I asked, concerned for Derek’s privacy.

She waved me off. “Zach was doing routine security sensor testing, found that in the process, and asked Derek if we could keep a copy of it. Derek said it was okay, and asked for a copy for himself.” She shrugged. “I’d never seen him voluntarily touch someone that much before, and even without that, it was adorable.”

“I’m glad he knows you have it,” I sighed in relief. “But yeah, it makes sense, honestly.” Hannah nodded in agreement, while Parvati and Alistair were clearly waiting for an explanation. I started ticking off reasons on my fingers. “Miys is very careful of personal space because they know how large they are, and Derek hates having his space invaded without permission. Miys is never ‘too loud’ for Derek, or touches without permission, or even speaks to him without Derek speaking first. There’s no pressure for eye contact, even just in Derek’s head, because Miys doesn’t have eyes.”

“Your mind is a strange and wonderful place,” Alistair stated drily before turning to Hannah and Parvati. “I hope you two have been taking notes on it. I happen to know what your next event is, and you’re going to need that level of insight.”

Arching an eyebrow at him, Parvati did not even look away to pull up her calendar, dragging it into her line of sight. Her eyes widened suddenly.

“You have three months,” I pointed out.

She reached out and shook Hannah’s arm vigorously. “Han.”

A quick glance and a second horrified expression looked at me from the table.

“Three months.”

“Sophia.”

“You’ve both helped me with it, for at least the last four years.  And you said you wanted a challenge.”

They both groaned comically, but I struggled not to smile at their antics.  I knew they weren’t really as worried as they pretended to be.

Alistair leaned over the whisper again. “I thought Tyche was the evil one.”

That did get me to smile.

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#the miys #humans are weird #found family #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #survival #apocalypse #aliens #haw #hfy #humans are space fae #science fiction #scifi #original scifi #original writing #my writing

[whump-town]

Crawl Home

I thought to myself Hannah why are you so mean to Hotch? Hmm, well, I’m a self-destructive little bastard and he’s a self-destructive big bastard so I just think it’s fun to project onto him. Then I considered -- shit, why not take it out on Emily too? So, I did. 

Going to college hadn’t been nearly as difficult as leaving her soul, every good part of Emily Prentiss, behind her in Virginia. But there the pieces of her could be protected and here, in Europe working for Clyde, she can’t be sure she can offer the human parts of her that condolence. Then again, leaving for college had been leaving her mother. Freedom, at the time, she hadn’t known to its full advantage. Leaving Virginia is leaving the only family she’s ever known. The safety of girl’s nights, Dave’s expensive taste in bourbon, and the knowledge that if she had nowhere she still had them. Aaron’s couch where Jack calls her his favorite aunt and Spencer’s library so extensive she’ll never reach the bottom.

Emily is safer there with them.

The case is grueling, ripping apart wounds she thought healed and scarred over. It’s enough to make her consider calling Hotch. She gets so close, finger hovering just over her screen until she remembers that it’s probably three in the morning over there and she’ll probably wake him up. Stealing from him what little sleep he can manage and so she doesn’t call him despite the promise she made him just a few months ago. Looking into the vulnerability he’d laid out between them, needing her to be something unlike him, someone not consumed by this damned job that will take everything.

She took his hand -- rough and damp with his anxiety -- and said the words she knew he wanted to hear. Knowing that stepping foot on that plane, leaving them, was giving the job everything. It’s falling into the trap that nearly killed him and she’d watched it happen and still, she couldn’t stop it from happening to her.

Instead, she texts Garcia for a picture of Sergio and sends Dave a picture of her lunch so he can pride her on actually taking the time to at least try and eat. The food sets a little easier when he sends her some corny-ass text with an emoji he doesn’t really understand. To top it all off, Derek sends her a selfie from the bullpen where he’s actively sitting on Spencer and pinning him still for the photo. It solidifies her, the boost she needed.

See? she asks her reflection, she didn’t need to call Hotch. No need to admit defeat just yet. (and when he sends her a picture of Jack wearing the sweater she got him with the added detail that Hotch is wearing his matching one, she cries in her bathtub and reminds herself this is for the best). So this is what her freshman year roommate met by homesick…

“Clyde,” she announces, avoiding touching him as she slides past him. “After this case, I’m retiring. I’m going to go home and sleep for three days and then you expect my resignation. I’m going to go live in the Alps and hope a bear of some variation eats me after I freeze to death.” She says all this while she pours herself a cup of coffee. This is certainly a situation she’d mirrored with the likes of Hotch, Dave, Derek, and even Reid over the years. Where Clyde meets her with a raised eyebrow Hotch would have handed her his coffee and offered her a dimpled half-grin of agreeance. Dave would have taken her out for lunch. Derek would have hit her shoulder, stolen her coffee, and told her “toughen up, princess, it’s nearly Friday”.

Clyde takes a long pull from his own mug, drawing his eyebrows tight as the bitter, not properly steeped mess of his tea hits his tongue hotter than he anticipated. With a grimace he clicks his tongue, “you’ve got the vacation days.” He takes her by surprise, she wants him so desperately to be someone else. Reid’s bashful, not quite sure what he should say, face or Dave coming to sit on the edge of her desk until she caves and goes for lunch. But Clyde is Clyde is Clyde and he offers her a solution none of the others would have mentioned.

She does have time building up. Fall is rapidly approaching in Virginia and she could get home to see Henry and Jack before school. Spoil them with trinkets to show off to their friends. It’s her favorite season there and it would make great circumstances to steal one of Derek’s sweatshirts and escape with new recipes from Dave to try out. Enough time for so many girl’s nights -- her skin needs the reprieve and Garcia’s hand-picked face masks and JJ’s fantastic taste in wine. She needs to spend too many hours on Hotch’s office couch, listen to his deep baritone start to slur with Dave’s bourbon. To feel Dave’s crushing hug when they pour themselves into a cab and, like an idiot every time, the three of them bunch up in the backseat with her in the middle.

“I can see that look in your eye, Emily.” Clyde points right at her -- again, why does she expect him to be like them and just not profile her -- and he smiles with a shake of his head. “You’re going to go back to them, aren’t you?”

She takes her mug, solutes him with it, and walks away. Here, the rules aren’t the same. There is no Hotch standing over her shoulder, sending a glare in every direction, as the permanent reminder that there is a rule against inter-team profiling. But, that’s the catch. They’re not like her over here. Clyde has no secrets and she’s a field of undiscovered bodies in shallow graves. It doesn’t take a lot to go tripping over her bones.

As she sits herself down behind her desk, she spots the flicker of movement she’s learned to associate with her youngest agent and she knows exactly what the other woman is bringing. She finds herself sighing, feeling that bone-tired Hotch always looked (oh God, she hopes she doesn’t look like that). Why are there so many twisted fuckers in the world? She just wants to take a moment to enjoy her coffee.

“What is it?”

The poor woman coming into her office is taken aback but not entirely thrown off. “We found him.”

There goes her fucking coffee.

“Where?”

She’s going to hug Reid for as long as he lets her and she’s going bully him like he’s her baby brother until his face is red. When she sees Jennifer Jareau she’s going to force herself not to cry and she already knows Henry will be as tall as her by now. He just got glasses -- how do they grow up so fast? She’ll laugh, unabashed and loudly when Derek lifts her off her feet. Squeeze Garcia just as tight as Garcia squeezes her. Let Dave kiss her cheeks and press her face into his jacket when he pulls her in. She’ll snag a hug from Hotch when she knows they aren’t looking and quickly wipe her tear away when he whispers that he missed her.

“Be careful,” Clyde advises around a mouthful of cookie. “Don’t need any more paperwork than I already have.”

She rolls her eyes because it’s funny when he says it…

“Prentiss!” The agents here don’t call her Emily. “Ok, ok, okay--” The shot comes suddenly, unexpectedly and it hits her and for a blinding moment, she feels nothing. Searing, like the brand Ian pressed into her skin and then consuming so quickly that all she feels is hot, intense pain all across her body. “Hold still.”

There’s a blonde woman leaning into her wound, failing despite her desperation to keep Emily’s blood inside her. She looks like JJ -- or maybe the sky is just dark enough and the beams at just the right angle or the blood is pumping so quickly from Emily’s body that her mind is starved. Maybe there isn’t a blonde woman, she’s a hallucination, but it doesn’t matter. Emily just wants to go home.

“Hey, hey!”

Derek. It sounds just like him, his voice and roughly the hand that shakes her shoulder grips at her flesh. She feels weightless, suspended by her hips as she falls backward. The haze of blood loss and shock shutting down her functions. Tears sting her eyes and she sees the people hovering over her -- the distinct lack of Reid’s nervous voice, the hand holding onto hers is neither JJ nor Derek’s -- and she knows she’s not going home.

“Stay with me, Prentiss.”

Will they come here she wonders. If this is it, will they bring her home one last time? She doesn’t want to be buried in Europe. She wants Virginia and the fall and home. She wants to go home.

“Hey, hey--”

She feels the cold sting of a hand across her cheeks but her eyes have sunk. Home.

She just wanted to go home.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #derek morgan #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #david rossi #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #jack hotchner #henry jareau