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the-letter-horror-lover · 2 years

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Storyteller Volume 1 (Kuroshitsuji/Reader)

NicestPancake

Summary:

There's a world out there that exists far within the reaches of our own. A world with care and attention weaved into it's very fabric. Where cleverness and cold-heartedness prosper, and those who remain kind suffer heavy losses.

It's in such a world that a girl unknowingly pulls her best friend into. And uh, well. She realises that she's fucked up really badly really quickly.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter One - There's A Glimmer Of Hope In Your Eyes; But Worry In Your Pace

Chapter Text

"Oh, please, {Sibling/Name}- it's not like you'll die! It's just a little steep. Please? Just once?" A voice cutely begs, hands clasping softly as their breath left their mouth in soft puffs. The chill of winter had finally set in, the stinging of their hands and noses making this apparent. Still, on this chilly night, seven kids stood on top of a steep driveway, a scooter held by the eldest. (By fourteen days.)

"But- I could fall off and snap my neck." They argue back, face red both with a chill and some indignation, though it was hard to tell how much was from which.

"Bab, I promise it'll be just fine. I'll let {Rival/Name} go and watch from the street to even make sure no cars are coming for you! Just once." The eldest softly reassured, "And if you do get hurt, I'll buy you more candy-canes than you can count in thirty minutes."

There was a lull in conversation as they calculated, "So two-hundred and seven?"

A soft smile appeared on the eldest's face.

"We'll see."

"{Y/N}~!" I hear {BFF/N} call, and I give a soft smile, kicking off the brick wall of my birth home and walking over to where their car had pulled up, putting my phone down. It was another 'bestie' trip and we were going to be enjoying ourselves before school started. Namely, going to the mall and vibing, or maybe going to the park and then panera bread, then to target where we'll hang out until it's time to leave. Hanging with them was always one of my favourite activities, even if most of the time I didn't know what to say.

I gently lean against the driver-side window and lean in lightly, booping their nose as they unlock their doors. "How's your day?" I ask, heading around the front of the car and ducking as I climb in. "Nothing too bad, I hope?" They sigh and shake their head, lightly pressing on the gas and slowly taking off.

"No, nothing bad- just a day." I nod, smiling lightly as the familiar neighborhood turns into familiar forest, then familiar field, then familiar stores. I honestly couldn't imagine a life outside of this small area, but... I knew eventually I'd have to leave. "Mom goes into me for not having all of my school supplies yet, but I mean, we're all going to mostly be using laptops, we don't need six spirals anymore."

I snicker, "But think- more for the mac and cheese-" A sigh from them, and a roll of the eyes, "On your left." They pause longer at the stop sign as, like I predicted, the person coming from the left sped through their stop sign and could have crashed into us. Could have.

"Oh- thanks." I nod, and let them continue talking about this or that, as my attention is taken up by the cemetery we pass. "What about yours, though?"

I pause for a moment, thinking, "Mh... spent more time on Mystic Messenger and Cinderella Phenomenon, though I did play a bit of Skyrim. So it was an okay day. I had to date my stepbrother on Cinderella Phenomenon, though, which I am... less than stoked about, I'll admit. Also, I ordered more of the Black Butler manga." I do a basic run-over of my day, which sounds... unimpressive.

I mean, really? Two Otome games and an RPG? Well, it could be worse. I suppose it could be Hunie Pop or, say, reading the Hamster Fic. Still- {BFF/N} talked with their family and like... did things. I always feel kinda lonesome in comparison. "Oh, that sounds fun!" They welcome, "Though I agree dating your step brother is... weird. You haven't explained Cinderella Phenomenon to me yet, though- wanna talk about it?"

I think for a moment, "Well, basically you play a girl who's a stone cold princess, and she gets yorted into poverty by a thing in that universe called a 'fairytale curse' where people have to live out fairytales in some fashion in order to return to normalcy. Anyways, her whole family aside from others cursed forget she was the crown princess, and she has to complete three good deeds in order for everyone to remember her." I explain simply, before digging into the plot a little deeper from the two routes I've played.

"Oh- that's... actually not the worst game I've heard you talk about." They encouraged me, and I let out an ugly snort.

"You're still just salty you have to kill the dragons in Skyrim." I point out, and they sigh,

"Just why can't you talk to them!?" I give them a choked laugh,

"Because they're trying to eat you!"

"They won't try and eat you if you pet them!"

I roll my eyes, "'Aight. Next time I play Skyrim I'll stroll up to Alduin, the world eater and first-born of Akatosh, and give him a lil' petsies for you. And I won't get eaten, of course."

"Of course." They respond with a grin, and we pull up to the mall unceremoniously.

It's not really that long of a hang-out in the mall, simply going to lush, a small clothes store, hot topic, and a family-run candy store, before we ate. It's all a blur, as it usually is, but it was happy. We sat down at our usual spot in the food court, when I went through my stuff again. "{BFF/N}, why don't you ever get anything?"

"I already have everything- besides, seeing you happy is it's own reward." They sipped at their sprite- kid's sized, as always- and I ate a fry. It was unfair they pay for me and all that. Granted, I liked it, but I felt guilty. "Besides, you spend a lot of time giving to others, shouldn't someone give to you?" No I didn't, not really. "But that's enough of that, wanna go get a friend or two at Target?" They wink, and a genuine smile crosses it's way over my face.

"Yes. I always want a friend." I agree, lightly hopping up to my feet. Target was the 7/11 to my JD. Granted, I wasn't about to sing a song about my traumas to a girl I just met, but I mean, it was close. Probably. I might sing a song to a girl I just met if the girl is cute enough. That's not the point though. "I mean, you're great, but Smiley back home and his burger friend need some more company." I point out, and they give a sigh, shaking their head, as we walk out of the mall together.

I put my bags at my feet, and look over at them, watching them put their seatbelt on once again, and I follow suit, happily pulling out my phone to play music. Of course, there’s not much to be done, and I consider my playlist for a moment before settling on my favourite youtube playlist, setting my phone on the dashboard and feeling the force of them pulling out once again.

It’s a relatively short drive, and not much is discussed as there’s a comfortable lull in the conversation. Even so, as I look out the window, I pause at the lightly wooded area we have to drive through to get to the other side of town. The world is so beautiful- just… all of it. I sigh and look down at my lap. ‘We’d better get to Target a little faster… I’m getting all feelsy.’

We finally pull up to it, and once again, it’s time to hang out in a place that not many would consider a place to chill at. We step through the Target sliding doors, and I grin wide, tossing my hands up. “Havoc time, babey.” They shake their head, and I know that they’re just ready to buy me a bouncing ball with a floating cake or other sort of random item within the glittery, watery confines of the rubber ball.

Still, it’s nice to lightly spin around as we head straight for that aisle, them keeping up with my fast pace, as is the usual. We make it there quickly, and I immediately shift through the small selection left, picking up one with another smiling face in it. I really do like the effect the black glitter gives this type of ball, though… I shift through them, and see one with a butterfly in it, pastel blue glitter accenting it wonderfully. I consider it, and then nod to myself, sagely. “Yes- this one will do.”

They look through as well, and smile, “Are you sure you don’t want this one?” They hold up one with a rose that has red glitter in it, and I stop, staring at it.

“... well now I’m not certain.” I say in a small voice, and they giggle, “On one hand, I really like this one… on the other…” I mumble honestly, staring between them. THey sigh and take both from me, “No-”

“We’ll just get both then. Geez, you know I’m good for it! I’ve got enough for six dollars.” I barely get out a small, whine-like noise, before being stared down by them. I relented, silently, and shoved my hands lightly in my pockets, looking around. I lead them- loosely- towards the seasonal aisle, faux-grumping my way there as they give me an unimpressed look.

This holds for about five seconds, though, as we see the plethora of skeletons available for sale. “{BFF/N}! Skeletons!” I call, and rush over to my favourite type of halloween decorations. I see them lightly take a peek at the price, and I pause. “... Skele- Skeleton?” I question in a small voice once more.

They shake their head, and lightly pull up the 15.99 price tag on the arm. “Skeletons.”

“Skeletons.” I nod, okay’ing my being okay with one or two more skeletons, and they race off to go get a cart. I pull off two skeletons and set them next to me, clapping my hands. There’s something so viscerally exciting about getting some faux skeletons. I hear them running back with a cart, and they quickly put the two I pulled off of the rack in the cart. I feel my heart pause as they then take the rest off of that rack, and I’m pretty sure I die.

“Oh- oh no-” I hold my heart, and they cackle.

“I’m not done. We need more. How many do you think they could get us?”

“I-” I shrug, uncertain, and I lightly fiddle with my thumbs, trying to think of what they might have in storage.

“I’ll go ask. This is very important.” After a conversation with a very confused manager and then a lot of concern about costs on my end, we retrieved a total of one hundred skeletons. I couldn’t help but wheeze as we combined forces to toss the skeletons in through the back windows. “Wait, {Y/N}, it’s probably very illegal to cover the back window with skeletons.”

I nod, and lightly nod a skeleton’s head, “So lets start putting them in the trunk.” We roll up the windows, and they pop the trunk, and we tossed more skeletons into the trunk with renewed vigor, and also a little panic as we realized we were on a bit of a time crunch.I pull the last skeleton out of the cart, and smiled at it. “And you. You shall be the King. Or Queen. Or Ruler. But I name you King, and ye shalt sit on the throne of mine lap.”

“Oh my god get in the car we have to go.” I hear them close the trunk, and I sigh, shaking my head and setting the King on my seat. We take a small moment to put up the carts, and then swiftly sit in the car, the King Skeleton on my lap.

“You bought 100 skeletons. What are we going to do with all of these.” I question to myself, and they sigh, pulling out of the parking lot. I consider our life decisions, and then look at them. “I’m assuming these are going in my house? What’s mom going to say when she approaches 100 skeletons in our living room?”

“Uhh- let’s not worry about that.” They giggle, and I shake my head, although I’m overall pleased. Now I won’t be alone. Wait- is that a weird way to see this? Probably. But I officially have 100 skeletons so it's not my problem.

As they turn into my neighborhood, I grin, since they’ve begun to go slow so I can give them instructions. I give them, warily, and we pull into my driveway. I don’t quite want to separate from them yet, though, and check the time. “We’ve still got thirty minutes, actually- wanna go on a small walk in the forest?”

They look at King, “I’m assuming he’s coming along?” I nod,

“His name is King.” They giggle, and we get out, me pulling my bags and King along for the walk, just because I don’t feel like leaving the important things in an area where they can be stolen easily. They’re swiftly stolen from me by {BFF/N}, not that I particularly mind.

We get walking through the neighborhood, and I can’t help but point out a small thing. “Sorry I accidentally made you spend upwards of two thousand dollars on skeletons for me.” I apologize, and they shrug,

“Bold of you to assume that those skeletons are only for you.” They attempt to reassure, and it does help a little. “I expect at LEAST ten of them to be mine. Skeletons are the only things we can always, a hundred percent agree on.” I think for a moment,

“It would be better if they were REAL skeletons-”

“{Y/N} no.” They cut-off, face-palming lightly. I can’t help the smile that comes across my face, however.

“{Y/N} yes.” I argue softly, pulling King up to nuzzle his forehead, and I pause where I’m standing, looking up at the swiftly reddening leaves. The wind blows softly as I view everything the world has to offer, and I hold King close to my chest. “Life is hard.” I point out, and I hear a lull in they steps as they wait for me. While I’m looking up, though, I see something shiny on the lowest branch, and I reach out for it.

The cold metal brushes my fingertips, “What’s that?” They ask, and I grunt as I jump, and lightly hit the end with my hand.

“A necklace? I think?” I answer, looking over to them. “I’m gonna make a running jump. One moment.” I back up a little, and start a small sprint, dropping King as I get my hand around the end, a sharp pricking in my hand causing me to drop it the moment it was recovered, by accident. “Ah-! It’s sharp!” I warn, picking up King and dusting him off as they recover it.

“... this kinda looks like Sebastian’s butler-pin-thing.” They point out, and I look over at it, peeking at it curiously. I let out a small hum and held out my hand for it again. I gently press my thumb safely in the middle so as to test its strength.

“Yeah but it looks genuine? This feels like a sturdy metal.” I point out, letting them hold it again. “Weird.” I reach out my hand for a bag, and they shake their head, and I curse myself for failing the subtle skill check. I shrug, “Maybe a cosplayer climbed a tree and lost it without realizing?” I suggest, jokingly.

“I know you’re joking but that’s probably what actually happened.” I snort, shaking my head and crossing my arms over King.

With a long sigh, I look around again, feeling the wind pick up a little bit. “We should go back. We have to unload all of those skeletons, after all.” I remind them, and they sigh, too, the two of us silently turning around and beginning the walk back.

I felt a water drop on my face and paused once more, touching it and looking up again, the wind picking up further. “... a tornado?” I give {BFF/N} a troubled look, and we find a silent agreement to begin sprinting, the rain picking up with the wind every step, it getting harder and harder to see them, so I grab their hand, holding onto them and king very tightly. The last thing I hear is the tornado siren before I pull them into my chest and duck us, passing out as I do so.

“Eugh- mm…” I mumble, shifting on something soft and warm. It didn’t feel quiet like my bed, though, so I opened my eyes, and they met with bright white flowers with a deep blood red in the middle peaking out. I mindlessly pull at one, noting the way the edges almost seemed to glow a soft cyan, holding one between my index finger and middle finger.

As I sat up, the situation hitting me suddenly, I looked up and around, squinting. I was in a cave, but the ceiling above me looked like stars. “... uhnder… tale?” I questioned, before realizing I wasn’t wearing pants, and my heart stopped for a split second, looking down. Thankfully, I was clothed, but I was dressed in some sort of dark purple tunic, green star embellishments on the sleeves.

I lightly touch my head, a headache pinging through my skull. I laid back down, trying to recall all that had happened. I woke up, played some games… went out with {BFF/N}, and then we bought 100 skeletons… and then… I look at my hand, and see a tiny pinprick where I remember I accidentally pricked myself on that pin.

Then there was a tornado… wait, “{BFF/N}!?” I call out, quickly getting up and almost losing my balance as I look around more frantically. I briefly saw a bridge across from where I was sleeping, but I saw another flower patch with glowing green flowers, and I ran in that direction, seeing them lying there.

They were wearing the same style of tunic as me, though green with purple embellishments, and they still had my bags around their arms and King wrapped in their arms. “{BFF/N}...” I sigh, stepping onto the flowers. They wilted underneath my feet, and I froze, but shook my head and continued on. I noticed a weird scar on their hand and froze, lightly pulling it from King’s plastic shoulder blade.

Right on their hand, centered right where my pin prick was, is a giant, star-shaped scar. Less like a small dot like mine, and more like someone had pulled something through it, and covered it up. I briefly connected the dots, but instead shook them. “{BFF/N}, wake up!” Their eyes opened after a moment, and I gave a sigh of relief as they sat up, propping themselves on their hand.

“{Y/N}? Where are we?” I shake my head, looking around.

“I don’t know. I’ll investigate while you wake up properly.” I offer, leaving her alone and tilting my head as the flowers seemingly revive at my leaving the patch. Interesting- but it was time to investigate further. I took heavy steps towards the bridge, lightly touching it, as it was made out of some sort of deep, purple wood, that seemed to glitter. The wine red water underneath it seemed to be slightly thicker than the water I presumed it to be.

I looked back at the {BFF/N} who had just properly awakened, and then back at the water, before crossing the bridge fully, wincing at the cold black-and-white tiles this area seemed to be composed of. There was pentagram with some sort of inscriptions lining the- well- lines, and the familiar spiked circle I knew to be associated with Sebastian’s contract mark. “... maybe the guess wasn’t too far off, then?” I mumbled, looking around for anything else, and seeing an island in the distance, walking to the edge of my current one to get a better look.

It was different from the one I was currently standing on, with purple grass and a grey tree with blood red leaves and green vines hanging down. “I’m beginning to notice a theme.” I took a step back and turned around, seeing {BFF/N} warily crossing the bridge, their usual sweater on over their tunic. I make my way over to them, and gesture for them to drop the stuff. “Let’s look through what we still have.” I suggest, opening the bag from the clothes store and setting things out.

A sweater, two pairs of starry leggings, in each of our sizes, a skirt, and some socks were in it, and I took off my purse, immediately putting on the leggings and skirt. I’d turned away from {BFF/N} and tucked the tunic under the skirt, before putting on the socks and putting the sweater over it all. I looked over to them and saw them dressed in what all we’d had- having changed into their hufflepuff shirt and lightly tucking the tunic into one of the bags.

I looked at the faustian contract seal, and noticed that, in the middle, there was a small dagger. I contemplated it for a moment, and walked over, picking it up. “This wasn’t here before.” I comment lightly, looking it over. It looked cool, though, and I briefly held it above my palm, almost bringing it down into my hand, though it was pulled away by a very concerned {BFF/N}.

"Uh, what are you doing?" They asked, clearly trying to keep their tone steady and as un-concerned as possible despite the circumstances,

"Clearly, stabbing myself in the hand." I answer simply, "Because... I can? Just trust me?" I offer in explanation, and they sigh, shaking their head. "Listen, this is the only thing I can think of right now, so just let me try it?" I almost-beg, and they sigh, throwing their hands up into the air.

"Well, you're just gonna do it when I turn away anyways- just let me get our stuff?" I nod, waiting and watching them gather up our belongings and hold them all, including King. I stab myself in the hand as they walk over, and they look away- which is a shame, because as the blood hits the seal, the spots my blood hit begin to glow, spreading out across the circle.

I take a few steps back at first, but that quickly has no meaning as the ground underneath me turns to mush and then makes a funnel shape, the two of us making unpleasant noises as we realized that we were falling into what we could only assume was some sort of magical death portal, and I reach for their hand, only slightly surprised when their hand clasps into mine, and the bright magenta field goes black once more.

When I wake up for the second time in what can only be thirty minutes, I growl, sitting up again. "Ohkay- n o w the writer of my life is having a laugh at my expense." I complain softly, rubbing my head. It takes a moment for the visuals of my situation to register, and I look out the bedroom window of the mansion I am apparently in. And the 'changing' thing seemed to have had no use, because I was now in a Different Nightgown. I pause, and look back around.

I'm in some fancy bedroom, at night, in a nightgown that I don't own, and wow my sleep schedule is not going to take lightly to... this... "Where's {BFF/N}?" And where am I?

I lightly step onto the carpet of the room- thanking carpets- and see my purse on the nightstand, neatly tucked on top of my previous dream-clothing. I pick it up and search through it, finding my lighter quickly, and playfully lighting the candelabra nearby, picking it up. Finally, I'm living the Victorian Cosplayer's Dream. I hold it steadily, leaving the room quietly.

I step out into the hallway, and begin my small trek into the hallway, starting left, because, worst case scenario, I go in a circle, right? "{BFF/N}?" I softly call, the shadows casting dark and strange figures as my eyes begin to adjust. I keep track of where I am, lightly opening the first door I come across, seeing another bedroom, but no {BFF/N}, so what's even the point? This repeats for a while until I have to turn right, and see double doors.

Carefully, I reach out to them, and grab the doorknob- and feel a tight pressure on my neck, pinning me to the door in probably the Least Convenient Way, causing me to gasp for breath as I startle. I drop the fire- and try to catch it to no avail, and now my brain is in pure panic mode as several questions enter my mind; Who, Why, and Is Anyone Going To Stop The Fire?

"Now who do we have here?" A silky voice mumbles in my left ear- and of course in the near pitch-black I couldn't make out who they were. "I'm afraid we haven't any guests over... so where might you have come from?" It was obvious the voice was trying Really Hard to be seductive, and if I weren't terrified out of my mind, it might have worked. Probably? Seductive isn't really my type.

"Please let go of my neck, friend." I manage meekly, "As much as I enjoy- not being able to breathe," A small gasp, mostly to accentuate my point, partially because I did need air, "It's pretty important for talking." The person- man? man- seemed to agree with that because the pressure left, and I turned around, taking deep breaths of relief and rubbing my neck as I grab my bearings.

"I don't know where I am, for starters- so where am I?" I ask, sensibly.

"The Phantomhive Manor."

Oh.

Ohhhh.

Ohhhhhhhhhh- ohkay that doesn't explain how I got here but that explains pretty much everything else about the situation. "Wellll- I just woke up in the guest room a few doors away? I had no idea this is where I was or even how I got here," I explained as genuinely as I could- and it should have been pretty genuine because all of that was the truth. At least this meant none of them changed me. Probably.

My eyes finally seemed to adjust to the moonlight reaching the hallway because Sebastian's figure sharpened, and I could see him and his blazing magenta irises. He was attempting to figure out who and what I was, and it should be easy because it's not like I'm hiding anything. Yet... not hiding anything Yet. "I see... do you remember anything before that?" And it begins sooner than I'd have hoped.

"Not really? Something about family troubles, falling, and then waking up here?" Not... entirely lying. Man I'm Great at this. Of course, I had to come up with a story, quick. "Listen- all I really remember was that I was running away from some sh- stuff back home with my best friend, {BFF/N}, we fell at some point while running through a forest, and now I'm here and I don't know where they are."

I did my best to keep the panic out of me as I realised that they could be anywhere right now. Likely in some sort of nightgown, wandering the streets of Victorian England with nothing but a skeleton in their arms for self-defense. I take in a shaky breath, because, well, it was impossible to not worry about that, and raised my hand to my chest. My necklace was still there though, at least.

He scoured me for any lies- I was a pretty good liar, though, so I wasn't that worried about his scrutiny, and he went to open his mouth before a shrill, familiar "MISTER SEBASTIANN!" Rang down the halls, and I and the demon both looked towards the source.

There, sprinting through the halls in nothing but her own nightgown was also Mey-Rin in some sort of panic, herself. "Mister Sebastian, Finnian found a- who is she?" I give an awkward wave, realising that my neck was probably bruising from what he'd done, a little, and I rubbed it with a nervous laugh.

"An unimportant guest, what did you find?" He dismissed, coldly, and I didn't take it personally. Well... I tried not to. He did just call me unimportant. I crossed my arms lightly and pouted, looking out the window.

Mey-rin gave me a questioning look at that, but continued on, "Finnian found a girl curled up in the garden with a weird-lookin' skeleton, yes he did!" I perked up at that, turning around immediately, and taking a few steps towards her.

"Lead me there-!" I turned to Sebastian, before looking back at the maid, "That's my friend! Are they okay!?" I felt my heart pounding in my chest, and saw her nod, giving me a curious look at the 'they' and I dismissed it internally for the moment.

"They're fine- they are, though they haven't yet awoken, they appear to be sick... I was gonna ask to run them a warm bath, yes I was." I nod, lightly taking another step.

My heart was beating too fast, it was getting hard to breathe, and I knew I was about to have a panic attack any moment. "Let me see them. Please- I have to- please." I pleaded lightly, like it had ever been in question that I would get to see them.

Sebastian simply nodded, "Lead the girl to her friend, I'll be right with you. First I must see if the young master is willing to-"

I turned to him, "I think that could wait- Earl Phantomhive is a young man, right? He needs his rest." And I need to go over our story. "We'll stay out of the way tonight- I won't leave their side anyhow, please."

"Right this way, miss." Mey-rin's accent was absolutely adorable, and I return to her side, following her and hoping Sebastian wouldn't wake Ciel. The last thing I needed on my hands was a bratty, tired 13 year old, especially if I was going to appeal to his need for actual servants. "So where did you come from to avoid us all and change?" Mey-rin asked, once out of earshot of Sebastian.

"I... don't know. My friend and I were running through the forest and next thing I know, I'm waking up in the guest bedroom in unfamiliar clothing." I tell her, not entirely lying, "I barely know where I am, much less how I got here, miss...?" I'm going to call her Mey-rin on accident and without prompting if I don't get her name.

"Mey-rin- and that sounds horrifying, yes it does. Are you alright?" She questioned, looking me over. I run my hand through my hair and note that it's a lot longer than it had been- by a good few inches.

"{Y/N}..." I answer hesitantly, feeling my whole body start to ease with the conversation. At least it was a person I was technically familiar with. I knew everything about her, which meant I could work that angle to the best of my abilities. "... Mey-rin, I like your accent a lot..." Play innocent and scared- because I was. I'm innocent and very afraid. I've done nothing wrong aside from tell a few lies to protect my identity and this is a scary situation.

"Thank you! Yours is lovely as well." She leads us down a separate staircase, and I lightly wonder if {BFF/N} is truly alright. They better be or there'd be hell to pay. There, standing in front of a doorway with light spilling out of it, is a disgruntled and leaning Baldroy.

"There you are, did you get- who's she?" He asked, seeing me. I give him an awkward wave.

"This is Lady {Y/N} yes it is! And the person we found is precious to her. Sebastian found her wandering the halls."

"My best friend is in there, right?" I point to the doorway and make my way over shakily, for some reason worried they'd be bloodied or otherwise injured. They'd already been hurt once today, because of me I'm sure. I don't want anything else to happen to them.

"Yea, she's in here. Apparently she fell out of a tree, or something, had ta' patch her up." My heart sank lightly, and I rushed in. Sure enough, there they were on the bed, several more small scrapes dotting their face. I carefully took their fragile arm in my hand, before investigating the bandages. I wasn't sure why they were going through so much trouble, however, if I was correct, I had my guesses.

If I was correct and hadn't just hit my head on a tree because of the sudden storm, thing. I wrapped both of my hands around one of theirs, lightly bringing it to my lips and voicing a small, barely-audible prayer to whatever god or being would answer. "Please have them be okay- and please, please send help..." I mumbled lightly, before seeing Mey-rin and Baldroy enter the room after me, watching me look over them.

I missed the confused and concerned looks they sent each other, anyways, as I was busy inspecting them for further injury, in case they'd missed something. People always missed something. We stay like that for a few minutes in silence, me brushing hair out of their face and sweeping my eyes over anything I felt might have been injured, though staying in my lane.

"I brought water-! And mister Sebastian!" Finnian yelled, startling me and the other two, and I looked over at them. "Oh- you must be {Y/N}, then! Don't worry, your friend is just fine, though she was very injured when I found her. Baldroy helped pick her up and patch her right away!" He attempted to reassure, and I nodded, having gone silent. I watched as he placed a wet rag on the top of their head, and bit the skin around my thumb off nervously.

They would wake, they had to- "It's a few hours from sunrise, if you'd like to lie down and get some better sleep after your... travels..." Sebastian cut off my thoughts, and I looked towards him, "I'm sure this has been a very exhausting thirty minutes for you." I wasn't tired, though- I just wanted them to leave. Maybe if I pretended to sleep...?

I crawled fully into the bed with {BFF/N}, like a child, and I wondered lightly how out-of-character this might seem to Sebastian, who saw me somewhat snarkily respond to him before. I lightly grip their hand, "Yes. But I'm not leaving the room." Just leave, this was too many people. I don't like it. Sebastian, seeming to get the message, nodded, and ushered the other three out, though I noted Mey-rin's suspicious sneak gaze and Finnian's uncertainty over leaving us here.

I sigh, finally getting some time and space to myself to think... this is a lot all at once, and we only have one chance at this, obviously. We have to decide quickly if we want to stay here or take our chances somewhere else. Their stuff had, similarly but naturally, been placed to the side, and my brain would not stop making calculations as to what to do next.

At some point, I'd noticed {BFF/N} awakening, and I lightly got out of the bed, taking the rag off and helping them sit up. "You okay?" I asked softly, gently taking the rag and dunking it in the cool water to refresh it.

"... yeah... where are we?" They asked, looking around. The candle that had kept the room alight earlier had since dimmed a little, and I simply shrugged, sighing,

"You're not gonna believe me." I stated simply, lightly placing the rag back on their head and leading them back down. Something was messing with them, bad- and I could only hope that it would go away. However, part of being a fangirl is knowing that usually in the 'world traveller' stories, nobody ever went over what would happen if someone who wasn't supposed to be there also came along... and I had my guesses.

"... Try me."

"... Black Butler?" I tried, with a nervous giggle. They narrowed their eyes at me, and I could only hope they knew when to tell that I was genuine. Five years- six, almost seven, soon- tended to bring people close. "We're in Black Butler, like it's some sort of fanfiction."

"... Well, That's- nice. Where are we in Black Butler?" They seemed calm at the moment, but then again, they- "Wait what to you mean-" They sat up, accidentally hitting their head on mine, and we both gave small shouts of pain. There was a pause, and then they giggled, causing a small smile from me. "What do you mean, we're in Black Butler?"

I shrugged, lightly turning my neck, showing them the bruise on my neck from when Sebastian decided to attempt to choke me from behind, dumbly. "We're in Black Butler and Sebastian's already made an attempt on my life, once." I joked lightly, already feeling a little bit better now that they were here, though they obviously wanted to do something about that.

"Well- I mean, that sounds more like you, to be honest. I would be surprised if you didn't come to me with some sort of injury from one of them... I had a fever dream involving some sort of avatar rip-off with cheese whales, goldfish, coke, pepsi, and dragons... but I think we have more pressing matters right now." They sighed, and leaned back on the bed. "And let me guess, you've already got some outlandish plan?"

"We become maids like Mey-rin while we try and figure out if we want to be here, or not." I suggested simply shrugging, "To put it simply, we could say that it's repayment for helping us out, and then once we 'see how disastrous they are' we can offer to work for like... as long as we need to, should we figure out that this is where we want to be." I lightly finger the necklace around my throat, though admittedly it felt... different, and I simply thought it away as me overthinking it.

"... so we really are treating this like a fanfiction, huh?"

"Well... I mean, would you rather we wander around the streets of Victorian London in nothing but nightgowns?" I joke and they simply shake their head, feigning unamusement at the prospect. "We could pretend we're ghosts." They snort at that, "Two ghost palios wandering the streets of 19th century 80s London together."

They were very much done with me. "No thank you- actually? I think I'm still tired," They turned around, this time taking the blanket with them, "Please leave the room. I'm feeling just fine." They joked dryly, and I pouted,

"What's wrong with being a ghost with me?" I lightly climbed onto the blanket mound, jokingly pawing at where their face had disappeared into blanket,

"I never said there was anything wrong with being a ghost with you-" They 'argued' back lightly, and I could hear the smile in their voice,

"Well you implied it-"

"Are we interrupting something?" Interrupted a very young, very annoyed, and very bratty voice, and I could feel {BFF/N} freeze underneath me. I paused, turning to look, and in our hubris we'd not paid attention to the young child and amused demon staring at us. I noted that Ciel hadn't yet been fully dressed, and looked out the window. Oh, the sun was rising.

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks and I softly shook my head, climbing off {BFF/N}- who uncovered themselves and turned to look at the younger boy- and sitting politely on the edge of the bed, crossing my ankles and placing my hands in my lap. "I- no, Lord Phantomhive, right?" I counted my blessings that they walked in then, though, and not five seconds ago when we were lightly scheming on what we should say to them. "You weren't interrupting at all." A less wary me would tell him that he had interrupted.

But I didn't really feel like dying right now. Hit me up in about a week.

"I see. My butler Sebastian has made me aware that one of you was found having fallen out of a tree, and the other wandering about my estate as though you owned the place." I nodded, lightly rubbing the length of my thumb with my other thumb, awkwardly.

"Yes, my lord- I would like to apologize for that, I simply didn't know where I was. Somehow, I went from sprinting through the forest with my friend, {BFF/N} here, to waking up in one of the bedrooms. And I uh, wasn't in this nightgown when I was running. I don't know who's this is or how it got on me." {BFF/N} nodded, as ever good at keeping up with my stories.

"What were you running from?" Ciel asked plainly, and I paused, unsure how to answer for a split second. What were we running from? I look to {BFF/N}, and they look to me, and I open my mouth to answer, looking back, when they answered first.

"My parents. We're best friends, but my parents don't approve of our friendship, and since {Y/N} was a maid at our estate, and I was their 'daughter...' they were going to send her away, anyways... so we ran." She stated quietly, looking a bit 'downtrodden,' and I took a moment, before looking back to Ciel.

"You won't call her parents, right? I was planning on working for you anyways to pay off whatever I needed to for your servants helping us, I won't be in your way," I lightly begged, trying to play up the 'pathetic' card slightly, "Please just let us escape them- we-" I lightly channeled my inner panic as I tried to think of ways to get him to let us 'stay temporarily' while also seem like we were in a bit of a rush to get away from someone.

"Calm down- and go back a little. 'Daughter?' You seem to not be fond of the term in reference to yourself." I paused, and looked over at them. How to explain this to Ciel? Well- again, he had no reason to turn us away because of such a small, 'odd' thing. The issue was, which one of us was going to explain the concept of nonbinaries to the barely-teenaged victorian boy? Granted he also wasn't godly, so...

"... I don't feel like a girl, is all. But I don't feel like a boy either." Sebastian actually seemed to understand easily enough- his kind, of course, didn't necessarily have genders either- so it was easy enough to get him to grasp it. Ciel looked a bit put off, though. As expected.

"Well, alright, then." His gaze turned to me, and I paused, "You said you're willing to work for a while to pay back the favour of not throwing you and your... liege, out into the night," He said, as though he'd been made aware of us and made that decision himself... but I didn't bring it up, "But I have a proposition that could appeal to you all the same. How about both of you work as servants here until her parents stop looking in this area, you two could build up savings and start a new life, risk free. How does that sound?"

That was... an awfully generous way of offering that. Frankly, I didn't trust it. It would be the perfect solution to our fictionalized troubles... what I was really worried about was the price that came with that. I bit the inside of my cheek, though, and looked back to my best friend. They simply smiled at me.

"Lord Phantomhive, my lord? That sounds perfect." They answered, and I sighed, seeing them grin. This was probably really bad, since we had no idea what the deal was for, truly, but all I could really do is give them a disappointed look for not giving me the chance to scope out the offer a little more, mentally.

"I'll get Mey-rin to show you to your quarters and clothing, then."

Chapter 2: Chapter Two - The Urge In Me Is Pinning Me Down; I'm Antagonized

Summary:

Reader-chan does some sigma mindset grindset affinity grinding

that's all.

also music occurs, I guess.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A girl sat on the front steps of the school, waiting for one of her parents to pick her up. She had two, shouldn't one of them be coming soon? The teacher watched from a small distance away as the girl saw something and popped up with a smile. The teacher moved, expecting to see a car pulling into the front, but instead, the little girl hopped into the road of the pick-up lane, crossing it.

They frowned, picking up the closed umbrella from the side pillar and following. "Careful, now- don't forget to look both ways!"

The little girl wasn't paying much attention, though, picking something up from the small grass outcropping that separated the pick-up lanes from the staff parking. "------, look!" The little girl held up a small butterfly, it's wings opening and closing in what seemed like a calm manner.

The older person let out a small, amused laugh. "Oh, may your curiosity and love never leave you." They mumbled to themselves. It was just then that droplets of rain began to fall from the sky, and they pulled out the umbrella, opening it. The little girl frowned, and placed the butterfly back under a particularly large leaf.

"I hope Mr. Butter survives the rain..." She pondered aloud, but took the teacher's hand all the same.

"I'm sure 'Mr. Butter' will be just fine."

I give a small sigh, watching Mey-rin struggle to find an outfit that would fit {BFF/N}. They were incredibly thin, and it tended to show. Their lanky limbs that might as well have been skin stretched over bone alone, and their spindly fingers... they looked like a skeleton pretending to be amoung the living. I remember clear as day when we were fitting them for their orchestra dress and not even a size 0 would work. "Oh dear... we're going to have to get you a tailor, yes we are..." She commented softly under her breath, and I nodded to myself.

Working out the constrictions of the premade corset that I was given, trying to figure out the best way to suck in and breathe through it, I thought aloud so that our red-headed companion knew where I was at, "It would be a good opportunity overall- since we're going to need some personal clothing as well." Fitting me had been something of a breeze- it always had been, since oversized clothes tended to be just as appealing on me and tight-fitting clothes didn't really bother me. Perks of not caring about comfort, I suppose. "We can get that in our own time, though."

{BFF/N} waved their arms around in the oversized- read; average-sized- dress with vague amusement, before remembering something. "Oh! It's not a maid's outfit but maybe I could borrow something from the gardener? He seemed about my size." Of course, I saw the look Mey-rin gave them at that, and I sighed, knowing the thoughts of a Victorian-minded maid.

"Well, either way, I was thinking about needing some hair clippers of some kind. Now that we're far away from your parents..." I suggested, glancing up at their hair- a bit long for my liking- and then wiggling my eyebrows at them. They roll theirs in response, and I let out a small huff of laughter. 'Pog through the pain,' as some wise man once said. I sit on the bed for a brief moment, and though I don't say anything, some dizziness is rolling through. My limbs don't feel like my own, and I have to take a small breather.

"...right {Y/N}?" I realize I failed at my task of staying in the moment when I see a spindly hand move past my vision, causing me to look up,

"What was that? Sorry, I spaced out." {BFF/N} rolled their eyes, mouth turning upwards in a grin, but their eyes displayed worry.

"Mey-rin asked you if you could go to Finnian and get some of his clothes while she takes a moment to try and quickly fast-tailor a maids' uniform to match my size better." They reiterated, looking back at the defeated, but accepting, redhead "Are you alright, though?"

I laugh lightly as I stand up, using my hands on my legs to support my upper body as I do. "Yeah- I'm good. And I can do that. A good way to get to know the layout of the manor." And a good way to get our stuff from the rooms and stash it away in the room I was given right next to them. Each of the maid's quarters had two beds, but since there were three of us... it was argued that the least experienced maid- sorry, {BFF/N}, but it was our story- should stay with the most experienced maid of this particular manor. I technically didn't know Mey-rin was a disaster maid yet, so... I couldn't really argue that they should be in the same room as me.

I have a small gathering that it might also be because Mey-rin wanted to share a room with someone, as well, so I didn't really fight it. I'd been friends with them for longer anywho, so I win the battle of best-friendship. I pat them on the shoulder, giving them a small, unconcerned smile, "Don't worry- it's just a manor. I've been here before." I comment, winking at them and waving as I left the room, the heeled boots I was given still throwing off my walking a little.

I carefully tugged at the soft yet warm and movable fabric of the uniform, fairly impressed by the quality, and the boots weren't terrible to walk in, but it still felt odd. The only thing missing was the corset, but I encouraged Mey-rin that we could do that ourselves here in a moment after we made sure we found clothes that fit. Otherwise, I felt something like a cosplayer, or a Ren Faire employee, walking around an abandoned manor. I couldn't help but occasionally twirl the skirt, playing with it as I walked- and holding it as I went up a small step.

The manor was beautiful, as well. even in the back where the servant's quarters lie. Though in the hallway of the servants the walls are white and the flooring a dark wood of some variety, there were still signs of high quality. Though it wasn't reflecting, the floor wasn't overly mussed, and the walls were eggshell as they likely were when they were placed by Sebastian. I touched it to check, and my hand came off of it clean. I made a mental note to myself to remember to assist in the upkeep of the area. I turned around at the entry door to the hallway, and remembered the layout. Only three of the standard servants' quarters were used before {BFF/N} and I took residency, while the butler and head maid's rooms lied a few paces away from the staircase leading to the foyer.

I turned and considered going to the kitchen, in hopes of catching Baldroy and asking for Finnian's whereabouts, but instead decide to only head up the staircase into the foyer, hiking up the skirt of the uniform slightly to make it safer. Sebastian would know better, and while a part of me considered just waiting a while and taking them from Finnian's room, my common sense knew better. The climb wasn't exactly friendly, but it wasn't horrible either, and I knew that I could get used to it in time.

I entered the main foyer, and gandered slightly at the impressive size and architecture. This building was impressive- and a tad frightening- but all around aweing. I pulled some of my hair back, taking in a deep breath, closing my eyes, letting it out again. I just needed to get ahold of myself. 'This is all just a show, {Y/N}, and right now, we're playing parts.' I remind myself, trying to get into the mindset of the character I so readily set up.

'I don't have much of a personality anyways. Should be easy enough to pretend to have one.' I glance around the large space further, and take a small step forward, lightly twirling and watching the fabric of the skirt fold as I did so. I knew why it was so versatile and light, but it didn't stop me from feeling amazed. I never thought such an outfit would be comfortable, so I was still quite enamoured with it. Plus, I'd always wanted to wear an ankle-length dress like this, but between the school and the lack of access to funds... I never had the opportunity before. And now this was my life until we found a way out! That was exciting, in it's own, terrifying way.

"You seem to be having fun." A suave voice cut through the empty air, and I froze, looking towards where it came from. There he was, the secondary star of the show.

Sebastian Michaelis.

I have the sense to look a little ashamed, and lightly rub my arm, looking away from where he'd come out of a door next to the stairs, "I've just never been in a skirt so comfortable, is all." I admit, "Lord Phantomhive truly is as impressive as the rumours." He smirked- of course he did- and the two of us began the movement to meeting halfway, our shoes being the only sound for a brief moment, our bodies reflected on the overly-polished floor as we met, "Sebastian, if I am right?"

"Ah, you caught my name, Miss {Y/N}." His eyes flicked over me briefly, and I couldn't help my expression as it went into a reasonable frown,

"It's hard to miss when everyone's screaming it." I retort with good humour and a gentle smile, and then a sigh, my hand moving to the collar of the sleeve of my dress, feeling the fabric. "Where would the gardener be about now?" I inquire gently, "Finnian, I think I caught." His gaze looked past me briefly, before he looked away, checking the time on his pocket watch.

"He would still be doing a general sweep of the garden right about now, I would estimate. What do you need him for?" Sebastian was amiable, but I was slightly uncomfortable, and I felt a small chill of instinctual terror climb my spine as I stared at his crimson irises. I needed to either befriend Sebastian or align myself with a reaper as soon as possible, if I wanted to get out of this mess before I wove an even larger web of half-truths.

He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow, and I grew immediately flustered, feeling my face grow warm. I sheepishly looked away, rubbing my cheek to will the red away. "Sorry- I- I've never seen such lovely red eyes in person before." I compliment earnestly- not at all lying about that. He gave a small chuckle, and I shook my head.

"Thank you for the compliment, though you were looking so intensely I can't help but feel you had other thoughts running through your head." He had me there, but he had no idea the nature of my fear. How real a threat I knew he was was no small matter in my mind. This man could contort your limbs by looking at you, if that was what Ciel willed.

"I'm fairly interested in genetics- so my mind had wandered a little," I half lied once more, dreading the realization that I should get quite used to it. I was mildly interested in genetics, and my mind had wandered... but lying always left a sore taste in my mouth, "If it's not offensive to ask, is your hair dyed, perchance?"

"Oh? What makes you figure?"

"Well, what with your pallor skin and red irises... one would naturally lean towards albinism. Not that that's bad! In fact it's quite fascinating, I just- well, wanted to know if my guess was correct." He simply smiled, and I let out a small breath of relief, passing that off as relief that he didn't seem offended, and not as relief that I managed to successfully pretend I had something totally different on my mind.

"You're quite intelligent for being a maid." He commented, and I began to walk towards the garden. I was going to exit out of the conversation; but he followed; so I didn't bother.

"Technically I was a lady in waiting, but their parents despised any small claim I had to any form of nobility, so I was just a standard personal maid to them, and essentially everyone else." I mentioned as an addendum, hoping that would cover for me. Suddenly glad I made a talent out of reading noble court drama manhua in my past-time. "I would prefer that not be dug into though. I don't really consider myself nobility, either."

He nodded, and hummed, "So then you are familiar with many things, then?"

"Yes. Though, the things I decided to learn and enjoy are... a bit out of the ordinary. I hope you won't find any comments I may make in the future to be too odd." I might as well preface, "My sense of humour can be disturbing or bizarre on occasion. Please try not to mind it." I pause in the mudroom- a small room to the side of the typical entrance to the gardens where people who were outside can enter- and I turn from the glass revealing the fresh morning sky to give him a small smile. "Actually, try not to mind any odd facts I present, or talents I have,

I clear my throat, lightly flustered, "I've had quite a few looks into other professions as well, back when I was trying to escape servitude. I'm no longer interested in 'escaping' this lifestyle, but some knowledge lingers and I like to bring it up, when relevant." This should cover for any modern-knowledge slip-ups. I'm not sure what people know in the Victorian Era, precisely, and I don't want to say something about something I shouldn't know just yet. "... Another reason my la-" a breath in, "my friend's parents hated me was my quick uptake. I was a bit too intelligent, a bit too wise, and a bit too dexterous for their liking, sometimes."

At that, I couldn't help the growing smirk, and he must have found it humorous as well because one of his light chuckles permeated the air. "Duly noted. Anything else I should know, before I plan your schedules?"

"Oh, lots of things," I start, before my voice falters, "But I'm sure it's nothing we couldn't talk about before we've served our respective roles." I point to the door leading out to the garden, and he nods. "Though I will say that Mey-rin will probably have a good chunk of her day eaten by quickly tailoring a skirt for {BFF/N}, and I need to know what duties of hers I will take over in the meantime."

"I will prepare that for you once I've woken"- he'd gone back to sleep after the fuss, since he needed his rest- "and served the young lord." He reassured, and bowed to me, checking the time. I gently bowed, and headed out the door leading to the garden, taking in the sight and the pattern of the bushes. It truly was a large garden, even if you ignored the fact that there were two gardens. And a greenhouse. I sucked in my cheeks at the realization that he had three whole nature-centric locations in his home and Ciel chose to do his work inside.

Especially on the fine morning that it was. The sun rising in the sky as what remained of the late-summer night air passed by me. The feeling of going down innumerable steps in a lengthy skirt to talk to the gardener of a fancy manor did not pass by so easily, however, and I found myself in front of a kneeling Finnian in no time.

"Hello, Finnian." He lightly startled, his wide, dark teal eyes turning to me. I notice that he seemed to be startled out of some kind of reverie, but it doesn't last, surprise turning into a friendly smile as he stands up, arms out from his side excitedly.

"Hello miss! Mister Sebastian gave you my name, no doubt! How may I help?" I shook my head, holding out my hands in a 'calm down' motion.

"I'm {Y/N}, and as I'm sure you know, I'm to be a new maid here. However, my friend {BFF/N} needs clothes since theirs doesn't fit them quite yet, and we were wondering if we couldn't borrow some of your clothes for the time being?" I prompted lightly, putting my hands behind my back and rolling on my heels in anticipation.

"Sure they can! I'm not sure if my clothes will help, but if they do, go for it!" he exclaimed, and I made a mental note to avoid him as much as possible, simply because he was too loud. He was sweet, but {BFF/N} preferred him anyways- so I'd let them interact so that he didn't feel entirely disliked by the two newbies. I just didn't like hanging around the volume of person he was.

I lightly bowed, "Thank you Finnian, I'll go do so right away." I saw his mouth open to say something else, but I had already turned and taken a few steps away. I felt a small pang of guilt, but right as I was reaching the staircase I heard a loud,

"You can call me Finny!" ring through the air, and as I placed a foot on the first stair, I turned, gave him a smile, and a wave. I make no promise I cannot keep, however.

I wander back up onto the second floor, making a straight shot for the guest rooms {BFF/N} and I took over in the wee hours of the night. Nothing was changed, so for {BFF/N}'s I gathered their things and King and tidied the bed. For the room I appeared in, I also gathered my things, but not wanting to be caught up there for too long, I hurried back down. I dropped off our things in my room in the servant's quarters, and headed to Finnian and Baldroy's room.

There I searched through their drawers liberally until I found a shirt and pants from Finnian, as well as a belt, and headed back to Mey-rin's room. When I opened the door, I noticed an amiable quiet between the two of them, Mey-rin working on the uniform, and {BFF/N} organizing our new clothes.

"Hey {BFF/N}, got you clothes to wear." I held up the outfit, and they clapped excitedly, reaching for them. I gave the clothes over readily and looked to Mey-rin as I gathered up my clothing. "I'll be in my room, putting away this spare uniform and tidying up my appearance." I excused, ready to get to work, honestly. She nodded, focusing, and I smiled shyly to {BFF/N}, who was looking at the clothes. They met my eyes with surprise and nodded, growing a bit red, and I left the room as swiftly as I entered.

In my own room, there was a note on my nightstand I hadn't noticed before, labelling the times and locations that Mey-rin was scheduled to clean or be for the next few hours of the day, and I gave a light smile. Her schedule was tight, but the plan was certainly to loosen it by the time that we were all settled in. I could have a crisis in the evening, when all was settled. Today, I clean.

It was around lunchtime when Sebastian and I finally had time to chat. With Mey-Rin having completed the fitting, and {BFF/N} and her getting to work with me, the three of us finally had a working unit of maids going. {BFF/N} had decidedly been stationed to sweep and do general cleaning for the hallways and staircases, I was to upkeep personal rooms and guest bedrooms, and Mey-Rin was to clean the lounges and set the tables, with a plan to rotate tasks every day. We'd gotten into a rhythm quite quickly, and Mey-Rin seemed to enjoy the bonus of not having distracting tasks.

I was flattening out the green sheets of the bed of the second guest bedroom- the one {BFF/N} was taken to- when Sebastian made his way beside me. I had a distinct feeling of being watched, so I turned to my side, and startled slightly. "Ah, Mister Sebastian- I presume that you've found ample time to discuss our schedules?" I lightly tease, flicking my eyes to the bedside clock meaningfully. He was really handsome, now that I could slow down a bit and evaluate him more.

I wouldn't fawn over him as much as I'm sure twelve-year-old me would like for me to, but that's because I have taste now. Also, I'm not sure if it's just me, but thinking back on it, he's at least aspec. There's no way he only has sex to get information out of women and yet still is 100% allosexual. I put that on pause as I remember that we're doing business right now.

While I was thinking about my associate's possible asexuality, he'd been evaluating my work. "You're not bad at this." He mumbled, running his gloved hands over the top of an armoire and giving a rare appreciative smile my direction, "Though you could be a tad more attentive, so far you're not failing to please." I simply shrug at that comment, his suave nature not affecting me as much as it probably would a younger me- or a less aware, more desperate woman- but still quite attractive. "Follow me, Miss {Y/N}."

I follow him out of the room and close the door behind us, allowing him to lead me though some hallways and down a side staircase back onto the first floor, where he showed me a shortcut that I could have figured out on my own, but was overall glad he showed me. Through the library- which almost had me distracted- there was a lounge that had an exit door into the foyer and therefore into the servant's quarters.

He led me past the rooms to the workspace, which had the same eggshell colour but now the bottom half was a strange green. He then led me into one of the aside rooms near the staircase; the office of the head butler. There was a desk in the center of the room and bookshelves with files on either end. His office. I take a small look at the bookshelves, noticing but not minding his amused staring as my fingers lightly trace the spines of some of them.

He takes a seat behind his desk, "So, enjoy nosing about, I see." I pause at that, growing a tad red, before turning around and sitting in the comfortable seat across from him.

"... Only when there's a disproportionate amount of information about people mere meters away..." I respond in a half-mumble, half-teasing accusation. He raises an eyebrow, and I wonder for a moment if I'm being too familiar with him.

Well.

It would be hard not to be, after nearly seven years of his unending presence in my life. It's not my fault that I know him virtually inside and out by now. How far he's willing to go for Ciel's soul, his interests, and his hobbies. They're all right here in my brain. He couldn't even erase my memory of him if he tried, I'm sure. He gives a sigh, and simply shakes his head.

"So then, I'm assuming you've been thinking through the schedules of you, Mey-rin, and {BFF/N}?" I nod, lightly playing with the skirt of my dress. I feel his stare into me but not through me- a typical kind of stare for me.

"Yes- though I'll admit I'm a better writer, I have it thought through plenty." I take in a small breath, "The current situation Mey, {BFF/N} and I have discussed but not finalized is separating the manor's tasks between the three of us and cycling them every day." He pulled out a pen and paper, writing it down. "Today, I was working the rooms, {BFF/N} was sweeping the halls, and Mey-Rin was cleaning the more important rooms and making sure everything was in order. However, when we're done with those tasks, I have more I suggest you assign now that you have the extra hands."

He nodded, prompting me to continue, "You should have {BFF/N} sweep the garden and otherwise assist with it. Mey-rin could potentially help the cook with meals, and I-" I pause at that, realizing that my suggestion for myself had no external reasoning. Sebastian looks up from the paper he was writing on, my mouth still open, and I stutter a bit, "Oh- I got that- a bit messed up- I meant that I could assist with meals and Mey-Rin could be more readily at the young master's side."

I laugh slightly at myself, running my hand though my hair, "Apologies, there. For a moment my brain forgot the young master wasn't {BFF/N}, ahah..." I look to the side, having the common decency to look a tad ashamed at the mix-up of my tongue.

"Alright. I have confidence that that set-up may work, however..." He hummed, tapping the fountain pen on the paper gently- too hard and it would ruin it- "But I think that your 'slip-up' may work better. You seem like a schedule-minded person, so I'll let you in on an open secret of the Phantomhive household." He set the fountain pen down, folding his hands over each other in a plotting manner.

"You see, every member of the Phantomhive staff aside from you and {BFF/N} are hired mercenaries of a sort." He divulged, and my eyebrows raised and eyes widened- not because I was surprised at the information, but because I was surprised at how readily he offered it. "If Mey-Rin were to stand at the young master's side while she wasn't doing miscellaneous chores, she wouldn't be able to properly go about her usual pathing."

"Oh, I see." My heart sank lightly, hands folding in my lap, and I looked at them. I did feel a little bit bad for the redhead, as I'm sure she would have been delighted to hear that she would get to stand with Sebastian during her free time, but I stayed quiet. I barely caught his eyes flicking to the clock on the wall, and I looked back up. "Well, I suppose it can't be helped."

"Indeed. Now- I would like to go over you and your companion's relevant strengths and weaknesses." At this, he opened a drawer and pulled out two files, setting them on the desk. He set the written paper to the side and looked at me. "Who would you like to go over first?"

A hard decision, truly. {BFF/N} would be harder to speak on entirely, so I started with them. "{BFF/N}." He pulled the file he hadn't put the notes in out and opened it, revealing that it appeared to be an application of sorts with just {BFF/N}'s first name at the top.

"Ready when you are, {Y/N}." I nod, lightly taking in a small breath, and pressing my thumb into my palm.

"Their full name is {BFF/N} {BFF/M/N} {BFF/L/N} and they were born April 23rd. Their star sign is Taurus-" I pause for a second, wondering why I thought to mention that, "And their sex is female, though they don't personally feel like they are a woman, so they would prefer to be referred to as they/them, and they weigh approximately 36 kilograms. They are, however, perfectly healthy, and have had extensive doctor's visits where they said as such, however, if you wish to confirm for yourself, I'm sure they'd be perfectly happy to have it proven."

'If only to get the other servants to shut up about their health,' I add mentally, "As for their knowledge and skills, I'm sure they've picked up some things from watching me. Sweeping, organizing, general menial task work should be fine, but tasks like laundry and more thorough jobs should still be left to me until they're properly trained. Also, as per the previous information, they cannot fight."

I sigh at this, lowering my head, "Even if they could hold their own- which I have tested without them knowing on numerous occasions- they still wouldn't harm another person. The most they might down is uselessly slap at someone, if my life was on the line, but..." Well. They had no combat experience whatsoever.

Even in modern day, the closest they've ever had to a physical fight would be racing me across the school lawn or one of our 'boop-war's, of which they won the race and I resigned in the 'boop-war's eventually because I wanted to do other things. "They're fast, though. Should you need a letter sent or a message delivered they could definitely outpace most people, I think." I suggested aloud, and he nodded at that.

It had escaped me, but he was writing fast- and had just about filled out the form, though not entirely. I'm sure he had added more based on his own observations, and he looked up. "That all?" I nod. He smiles, closing the file and scooting it aside, "For your personal integrity, I won't tell them than you said that about them." His smile was devious at that, and I pouted slightly.

"Well I would hope so. Next up is me, then?" I sigh, and he nods, opening the other file and- I can't help but notice that not only are there other notes there already, but he writes a few more down. I can't read them properly from where I sit, but I can see some of the capital letters just fine. He writes in English, and I can't help the amusement that lifts my mood.

The whole dichotomy of languages is at the tip of his tongue and he chooses the common tongue, huh? A small smile crosses my face at that. I suppose it's more useful to use to relay information to others, rather than hope that they know the language he writes in. Maybe, even, he puts some sort of spell on it after words that changes the language he wrote it in or otherwise disguises the information. An interesting concept, and likely within his capabilities.

"So then, {Y/N}, what about you?" He questioned, poking me out of my thoughts and pulling me back into the here and now of it all.

"Oh- me? Right." I take in a deep breath this time. "I'm {Y/N}, {M/N}, {L/N}, I am also eighteen, and I was born February 21st-"

"Ah, a Pisces, then?" He teased, and I blinked, 'tsk'ing,

"It's not nice to tease people when they're pouring their heart and soul out," I jokingly scolded, before continuing, "I weigh between 77 and 90 kilograms, and have a few issues with blood sugar that can usually be deterred with a healthy diet. I'm quite good at most everything, though notable talents I have would probably lie in the arts, as I enjoy crafts, drawing, and playing the contrabass. I've also got a fairly large knowledge of science, mathematics, and literature, though history and other languages tend to elude me." I sigh,

"As for my knowledge of combat, I'd say I'm best short-range. While I can shoot a bow and arrow fairly accurately, I'm useless with modern weaponry and am my most confident with a knife in my hand. Whether or not I'm willing to harm or-" I take in a breath, "K- kill, is entirely dependent on who the combatant is and my purpose for fighting them... though I prefer to flee, when allowed. I'm more of a stealth person than a fighter, though." I admit, shrugging. I would like to remain in this household with as little blood on my hands as possible, but if it did come down to it...

Well, given that Sebastian would remove all of the evidence...

Maybe...

I slap my own face cheeks, decidedly not letting my mind even go there, although it was beginning to offer me pictures of various intensely bloody scenes with barely-recognizable human corpses. I hate it when my mind does this, but I looked at Sebastian, who was tilting his had and watching me, eyes full of a certain type of contemplation. 'Is she capable of taking a human life?' and 'What would it take to get her to do so?' entered my mind, and I gave him a weak smile.

"I presume you're thinking about what you should make for tonight's dinner, and not something unsavoury?" I comment, and I see his eyes shift back down to the paper as he writes.

"Dinner has already been decided- but of course not.'' 'Liar.' I try not to glare at him, but I did feel incredibly exhausted.

"Speaking of which, after dinner tonight, would you be willing to display your abilities with the contrabass that you mentioned? I would like to hear your skill level." My page was filled out a lot more, and I felt bad about it, but at the same time, it also meant that he knew less and was less concerned about {BFF/N}. I would prefer I get the positive attention, as that meant equal measure of negative attention, which was ideal.

'Or am I just being selfish?' The corpses hadn't left my mind just yet, but I was able to push those and that thought aside, "Of course, I would be happy to. Though it might not be great, it's been a small while."

"That's alright. The best way to improve is to practice and keep with it." He spoke motivationally, and I let out a small, comfortable laugh at that.

"Now you sound like my mother." I stand up and dust off my skirt. "Is that all?" I question, looking for dismissal.

"Yes, you may go back to cleaning the second guest bedroom and whatever other room you are cleaning." He excuses peacefully. I bow, and then head out, taking long strides away from his office.

"I really want to see those other files," I mumble to myself, biting the inside of my cheek, "But it's far too soon... shame..." I smile to myself at the thought of reading whatever Sebastian held in that office, and went up the stairs to the servant's quarters. It would be a little fun to see what the world had in store for us. I also felt a little giddy- after all.

I'd just held a comfortable, level conversation with THE Sebastian Michaelis. This is the dream of so many fangirls. The endless nights where I scrolled through fanfiction after fanfiction, Neko!Reader after Demon!Reader, and yet here I was. In the Phantomhive Manor. Talking to them.

I only hoped that I didn't slip up at all as I made my way up the second flight of stairs.

Dinnertime came sooner than I expected, the five of us servants standing in line and watching Ciel eat was awkward, though. {BFF/N} and I exchanged looks often, but I never broke except to smile at a comment Sebastian or Ciel made. I was busy thinking, anyhow. I double and triple-checked the notes to the songs I was going to play by memory should Sebastian not require me to play sheet music, and generally thought over the game plan for the next few days.

He set down his fork and knife, and wiped his mouth with a napkin, and I internally prepared for something I've actually wanted to do for a while now. Unfortunately, at the end of the school year, I had to give up the bass I kept at home for concerts due to it being the end of the year. I've been itching to play for a while now, but they're very expensive.

Ciel stood up, and Sebastian put his jacket back on, and he turned to me, surprising me slightly. "I believe you were going to play the contrabass for us?"

I pause, hearing {BFF/N}'s 'huh?' and I remembered that I'd been so wrapped up in the excitement of playing again that I forgot to actually tell them. Baldroy, May-Rin, and Finnian also looked to me, but I mostly ignored their gazes. "Ah- yes, my lord. I didn't realize you would be in attendance, but it would be a pleasure to play for you."

He nodded, "You're my maid now, are you not? I would like to know of and witness any talent that my servants may possess. Besides, it's hardly proper for a man and a woman to be alone in a room, late at night, wouldn't you agree?"

I wanted to comment that I doubted he understood the implications, but I knew that he knew them and I didn't want to get in trouble so early, so I simply smiled. "Of course, my lord. Will the other servants also be attending, then?"

"If they so wish." He nodded to the others, and I give a small sigh of- relief? maybe- and fiddle with the braid my hair had found itself in.

"Alright. I shall head to the music room and tune the instrument." I offer this dismissal, but stay in place,

"Please do." And then I stand up straighter and leave the dining hall, heading to the music room. I am decent at the bass but I am hopeless at tuning, which is why I had the foresight to put my phone in one of my pockets. As I enter the music room, I find the bass already upright and the bow tightened, so I give a small smile.

Pulling out my phone and setting it to the tuning app, I feel confident in the little bit of precious battery I am using for such an important reason. Getting the strings in order, I quickly put my phone away, just in time for Ciel and his butler to walk in confidently, {BFF/N} and Finnian arriving right behind them.

Ciel sits rather close, but in a chair, meanwhile Sebastian stands and {BFF/N} sits on the floor- criss-cross with the skirt of their dress covering them all the same. Mey-Rin and Baldroy do enter, but Baldroy leans casually on a chair while Mey-rin leans on the wall. Tanaka enters just behind them, and sits near {BFF/N} on the floor, though he's on a pillow.

I didn't actually expect Baldroy and Mey-Rin, if I'm being honest, and I feel guilty. My left hand, resting on the neck of my instrument, gently plucks the thinnest string- G- with my index finger. "Ready when you are." Ciel commands, and I nod.

"Any requests, or should I just play what comes to mind?" I question, and he sighs,

"Just play what comes to mind, for now. If it's any good I'll see about procuring sheet music for later." I nod, bowing once more.

"Then, my lord, a song entitled 'Toreador March.'" Because of course, the only songs I know by heart on the instrument were fandom songs, lullabies, and the first full song I ever played on the instrument.

The 'Toreador March' heard in the FNAF series was mostly played on the G string, though that's also technically not true at all, that's just how I learned to play it. It sounds all the same so I'm not too concerned about it, but it's always amused me that even though I'm playing on a different clef using my clef's notes, it sounds perfectly alright all the same.

Music theory, am I right? That being said, this song is also the song I tended to play out of boredom or to warm up in the tuning/dressing rooms while prepping to perform on stage. It started out shaky, my grip on the bow rigid and out-of-practice, but it got smoother the second time around, as the song repeats twice. I hold the final note, and take my bow off of the string, bowing.

I survey the crowd. {BFF/N} looks exasperated, with a little bit of pride, Finnian looks full-on impressed, Baldroy has a look of confusion and acceptance, while Mey-Rin's look is.. complicated. I can't read Tanaka's, but Sebastian looks bemused, and Ciel contemplative. "Not bad, know any other songs?" The young master commanded, and I nod.

"Next; Dragonhunter." I couldn't remember all of this one, but I remembered 2/3rds of it and what couldn't be remembered could be improvised.

Of course, this was more obviously a bass part. It wasn't complete without it's accompaniment, and it certainly didn't have the same impact when I played the 'Coda' part of it, but it was still of a good quality, I felt. This time around, I channeled the emotions I had mere hours before my American 6th grade concert. The first one to truly mean something.

The panic I felt at home as I realized I forgot my sheet music and copying it down on lined paper before the concert, just to realize that I would have a stand partner who would have it. Making it awkwardly to my teacher, and greeting students I didn't yet know, but would be my only friends for the next three years, and the only constants for the next seven.

A different me, who barely knew what 'anime' was. Who hadn't yet discovered fanfiction- who still had {R/N} as a best friend. A me who, despite some circumstances, still had a spark of ambition in her eyes. Who still wanted, and felt natural to get what she wanted.

A me who was unafraid.

And before I know it, I'm no longer alone, the music and my hand had stopped, and my eyes were fighting back tears. Maybe that was a poor decision. I lightly use my sleeve to wipe away a stray tear, and I take a deep breath. One more for the road. "-And last but not least," I end up cutting Ciel off, and pause, "Sorry, my lord; 'Everything's Alright.'"

I didn't know this one on the bass. I only knew the lyrics, and the song. So, I played it by ear best I knew how. This song was pure sentiment, love, and longing, wrapped up in a small bundle of emotions. I cried openly- but silently- as I played this one, not wanting to hide it due to the importance of the piece, no matter how awkward I felt.

If I could cry over 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' in front of a crowd of easily 300 people, then I could cry over 'Everything's Alright' for a group of six. Besides, you get used to playing through tears, eventually.

When I finally let my bow drop, I looked around to the other servants, and, with a small bow, set my bow on the stand that rested to the side of me. "That's all I have, my lord." I spoke simply, wiping at the tears, swiftly removing them. {BFF/N} had stood up at some point, probably because I was crying.

"Do you know any other instruments?" He questioned,

"No, my lord." I answer succinctly.

"... So you chose to learn the contrabass alone."

"Yes, my lord."

"It's rare that anyone chooses to learn the contrabass, let alone all by itself. It's usually a secondary or tertiary instrument- and even more so, usually played by a man. What made you choose it?" I pause at this, and I smiled softly, remembering why a younger me chose it.

"My lord, if you will forgive me..." I laugh at myself, looking to the floor, flustered. "It seemed lonely."

"What did?" He seemed genuinely confused, eyebrows furrowed, and I look away again, embarrassed.

"I began learning at eleven- and I uh- I chose the instrument because it seemed lonely, my lord. As you said- very few choose to play it, and even fewer of those only know how to play contrabass alone. I thought the instrument felt lonely, so I decided I would play it, and only it." I answered, "... it just came naturally to me."

"You thought an instrument, something that is not alive, was lonely." He lightly ridiculed, and I couldn't help the small frown that came to my face.

"Respectfully, my lord, this bass is made out of wood, which was once a tree, which was alive."

"Trees don't get lonely. They're barely alive, much less sentient." He teased, and oh, did I want to slam this brat so hard into the ground. But I had no scientific backing at this time of humanity's scientific knowledge. "And even if it was, it's dead now." He smirked, and I just shook my head,

"If I may-"

"You may,"

"When I speak of the loneliness, I mean the loneliness the tree must have felt upon it's death- and also the empty space it's arboreal peers likely felt and despised. This tree was likely decades to centuries old. It probably knew things it only wished it could tell us, but it's life was cut short to assist in the making of music." I take a breath, "I play not only in reverence of the life the instrument once lived, but also in mourning of what it left behind."

"A romantic sentiment, albeit a childish one." He mocked, and I simply sighed. I knew it was childish to care so much about a tree, of all things. But it was the romantic heart in me, I suppose.

"Perhaps. But isn't a world where the dead are listening a much more appealing world than one where they're gone forever?" I question, already knowing his opinion as he stood up, getting ready to leave.

"Depends on the nature of the dead that surround you, Miss {Y/N}." I can't disagree with that one, and I watch him take his leave. "Come, Sebastian. I'm quite tired after those songs." The two of them leave, and I gently set down the bass, picking up the bow and loosening the hair. I get tackle-hugged from behind and almost lose my balance, but maintain it.

"Are you okay?" {BFF/N} asked with a frown, and I nod.

"Yes, I'm just fine." I give them a smile, and even though I am fine, they seem not to believe me and frown. Finnian walks up next.

"That was so amazing! Where did you learn to play those songs?" He asked, and I gave him a more friendly smile,

"Ah, when I was a kid, my parents asked me if I wanted to learn an instrument." {BFF/N} backed off a little, and I saw Baldroy and Mey-Rin having a discussion in the background. It's then that it hit me that I just had discourse with THE Ciel Phantomhive. I turn away from Finny and {BFF/N} as I giddily giggle, setting the bow down and shortening the endpin. Come to think of it, Sebastian seemed to set it at just the perfect height for me.

How kind of him.

The rest of the night involves the six of us smaller servants walking to our quarters- after I finish packing up the bass- and general chatting about the day. We wave goodbye to the boys as they enter their chambers, and {BFF/N} follows me into mine, promising Mey-Rin that they'll join her in a second. Seeing our stuff, they let out a sigh of relief, and I simply set my phone in the top drawer of my nightstand.

We organize our stuff in silence, but conversation quickly picks up once we're done, King resting well on the second bed in the room. "Are you really alright?" They asked quietly as I undid my hair, letting the long. {H/C} locks fall down my back naturally. I gesture them over,

"Of course, sorry I didn't check in with you earlier. Was a bit in my head, and well- it's gonna be a while before we get into a pattern where discussion comes easily and is necessary." I apologize, sighing as I began to take off my dress. They sheepishly turned around.

"It's fine! You don't have to check in with me, or anything... I was just surprised. When did you promise to play bass for Ciel?"

"When I left you and Mey's room, I encountered Sebastian. I told him that we'd do a more formal interview when he was able, and he and I managed to meet around lunch time. I told him our skills and all that- and he told me about the other servants' actual purpose- and then he asked if I'd play bass for him after dinner." I pause.

"Granted, I didn't know it'd be a damn concert, but that's alright. I was itching to play, so I'm happy with today." I comment happily, my mood brightened.

They hum, "Well alright..." They reach around and rub their neck, obviously unsure what to say about that. "I talked with Mey-Rin and Finnian today. Mey-Rin doesn't seem to like you much but Finnian is fun to talk to about pretty flowers and uh,," They fluster, "Pretty cute, too."

I grin, making plans silently in my head for tomorrow. "Heh- alright then. have fun with those feelings, I guess." I turn them around on my own now that I'm in my nightgown, but not before unclasping the sides to their binder through their dress.

"{Y/N}!" They cry out, confused and embarrassed and surprised all in one, "GIVE A PERSON A WARNING, JEEZ!" They sigh, exasperated.

"I'm tired and didn't want to wait for you to undress, nerd." Walking back to my dresser, I take their nightgown off the top and hand it to them. "Quick change." I prompt, and they sigh, but motion for me to turn around. I wait until I hear the maid outfit drop to the ground, and hold the gown behind me. Then, I wait until it's definitely over their head before turning around.

"Have a nice sleep, {BFF/N}." I pull them into a hug, and they pat my back.

"Good night, {Y/N}." They agree silently, and I reluctantly let them go, watching them pick up their uniform and open the door. "I'll wake you up early, then." They slip out, and I stretch, yawning. I walk over and flop onto my bed, not bothering to pick up my own uniform from the ground.

I'm sure it's plenty clean.

I drift in and out of my half-sleep for a few hours, hearing a clock ticking in my room. I sigh, reaching for where I tucked away my purse, and I grab a lighter, before lighting the handheld candle set in my room. Putting on socks, I pick it up and begin my trek outside, figuring I might as well see if there's any interesting books in the library.

The steps are precarious at night, but I manage them, and I walk through the main foyer, before stopping to look up at the painting of the happy family still on display. "Oh, Ciel..." I mumble to myself, thinking to go up the steps, but not having the energy to follow through with it.

"Miss {Y/N}, you're still awake at this hour?" The demon asked, and I turned to him. He'd come from my right, which was the most awkward angle for me to talk to him at.

"Indeed I am. You are as well it would seem."

"Birds of a feather, perhaps." I give a soft smile at that, hoping it plays off as agreeability and not amusement.

Perhaps." I pause, "I hope the young lord was not offended by what I said earlier in the music room?" I decide to gather, looking about.

"If that is what is keeping you, I assure you he thought nothing ill of you for it." He assured, and I nodded. "What is keeping you, if I may ask?"

"Ah, nothing much. I find myself slow to slumber in new environments." I shrug, "I was hoping to find a book in the library that could bring me home... would you happen to have 'The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?'" I question, and he chuckles,

"A recent favourite of the young lord, but I doubt he'll mind if you borrow it for a night. Follow me." I nod and find my soft steps following after his silent ones as he leads me to the library. He, of course, immediately goes to the shelf where the book is, and hands it to me.

I smile at him and whisper my thanks, before curling up into one of the couches, opening the book. I'm both surprised and please when he gifts me a blanket to wrap around myself, and I nod at him once more, too lost in my book to pay close attention anymore. "I shall take my leave then, however," I turn to look at him, attention caught as he grins in my direction, "Have you ever been told you look particularly beautiful when you cry?"

I feel a small shiver go down my spine, but I simply smile, "A couple times, actually. Thanks for the the compliment." I appreciate, turning back to my book.

There is something different about the way he said it and the few other times I've heard it, however.

Notes:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Chapter 3: Chapter Three - I'll Throw It All Away; Block Out the Whispers, And Carve My Own Path

Summary:

Trans shit happens, Y/N confesses to The Gay, and that's all that really happens this chapter ngl.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Okay I have no idea where I'm going-"

"That's okay, because I do!" The girl giggled as she led her best friend through the Wal-Mart in the state over. She'd been here several times previous; because her grandparents took her places all the time. Her friend gave her a questioning look, and she took their hand, leading them through the aisles.

"Where are we headed?" The young child asked, looking around at all the aisles.

"I mean, I thought maybe the art supplies. Gramma would buy something if I asked for it." The young girl stated, letting go of their hand and leading them further, less physically this time.

"... lucky you..." The other child mumbled, crossing their arms. They rolled their eyes- but the other girl couldn't see it.

"Yeah, I am pretty lucky, aren't I?" She turned to them, grinning, "So I guess it's good you have me, just like it's good I have you! You're smart and good at art- I'm kinda dumb but I'm very lucky!"

They huffed, but shrugged, smiling. "Sure, it is good that we're best friends."

The life of a Phantomhive servant- get this- isn't all sleeping in libraries and mind games with the boss and his right hand. Actually, it's fairly tame, all things considered. The first morning I truly woke up as a Phantomhive servant was one of tired eyes and a chilly, dark morning. So, I set to work, first things first, with lighting the furnace in the library. It was my first task of a new day, and I was excitable as I went about, going to a sideroom to the kitchen and grabbing a few logs of firewood- a few, generous but not wasteful- and then going into my room, where I grabbed my lighter.

I kept the momentum going and after checking to make sure the chimney was open, managed to light a small, warming fire in the furnace. With that, I concluded that portion of the morning a success, and headed down into my room more readily. It was time to get dressed.

I brushed my hair and braided it, before looping it around and tying it in place with a ribbon I found in the dresser. The maid's uniform is rather simple after that, and aside from lacing the century's equivalent of a 'one-size-fits-all' corset, I don't have many troubles. That is, until {BFF/N} comes running in for the morning, holding their uniform and binder in their arms. I sigh affectionately, knowing immediately what they're here to ask of me.

"Yesyes- turn around, sweetheart." I instruct, and carefully assist them in securing the tight straps in place, the early morning making them a bit groggy, but otherwise the two of us can get this part of the day ready without too many words between us. "Now wait a second." I stop them after we've gotten the under dress on, gently leading them into the center of my bedroom. Pulling some sheets off of the second bed, I place them on the ground to form a mat of sorts.

"Sit. We need to get rid of some of that hair of yours." I remind them, and I see their eyes light up.

"Oh, yeah." They sit down on the blanket, and I grin, digging through my things. I always keep my sharp pair of scissors on hand, and a comb... the room had a brush in it when I got here, and I could simply obtain a glass of water. I stand up, "I've got to go to the kitchen to get a cup of water quickly." I excuse, hurrying up into the kitchen to do just that. I silently thank whatever being sent us here that Ciel was rich enough to be part of the nobility with historic but working water filtration and plumbing. After filling a glass, I run back down, placing the cup of water on the ground.

I wet the comb, working it through their hair several times, before I have wetted it enough that it's not in the way anywhere. From there, I start cutting it, starting with the bottom few layers. I want the top half to keep the cute little curls that form in their hair, and I want them to like it. So I chop away, evening out the parts. I carefully pull the locks of hair away from them as I cut to keep it marginally more clean. Though it's a little patchy in the back where my hand slipped it's decent. Not professional, but it's passing at a glance.

They stand up and look in a mirror in my room and check out their hair excitedly. "Oh my gosh. Thanks!" They turned around and hugged me, and I hugged them back, perfectly happy to do something like this for my best friend. We separate, and I give them a small smile, squeezing their hands.

"Let's seize today, yeah?" I comment, gently pulling one of their cool hands up to my much warmer face.

"Yeah, let's seize today." I begin the separation and lightly pat their head, but when I do, they lightly jolt backwards by a worrying amount. "Woah- you good?" They lightly touch their head, nodding.

"Yeah, just woke up feeling a little light-headed, is all." I frown at that, gently running my hand through their newly-shortened hair.

"I'll see if I can't make you something a little extra today, then." I attempt to assure, though to myself or them is the question of the century. My mind starts to find its way to a diagnosis, but I know that's a bad idea. I just need to get them well-fed and cared for. It'll work itself out, and if it doesn't, that's when we can start worrying a little bit more.

"You know I won't be able to eat it." They comment, their thin fingers wiggling pointedly at me. I lightly stick out my tongue before bapping my head against theirs affectionately. The chill of the basement quarters finally hits me, and I shake my head, separating from them.

"Maybe- but I can still try." They roll their eyes and stand up, dusting the hair off of their uniform. It had been short to begin with, but no clean cut is perfect. I lift up the blanket and roll it up, placing it under the spare bed. When it's time to do laundry I'll recover it, but for right now it was fine where it was. I shake my head and help them with the rest of the uniform, before the two of us head out into the hallway, catching Baldroy and Finnian leaving.

I give a wave, holding out my hand to Baldroy. "I don't think we've officially got to know each other yet." Greeting them with a smile, "I'm {Y/N} {L/N}, and I'm clearly a new maid here."

His eyes are friendly with a hint of skepticism, and he takes my hand and shakes it. "Baldroy. I'm the chef in this manor. I'm well versed in the kitchen." 'And with ammunition,' I knowingly think to myself. I let go and briefly trace my braid, shyly looking to the side.

"I hope you understand if I get lost from time to time. The Phantomhive estate is quite large." I excuse softly. It's then that Mey-rin also leaves her shared quarters, and I pop up before he can say anything, "Also, this is my la- my best friend, {BFF/N}." Slip in another 'accidental' 'my lady' to emphasize our complex relationship and the backstory we've made so far, and gesture to them. "I hope you take care of them, they're quite..." I pause to 'think,' "... thin."

They hit my arm from behind, and Baldroy laughs at that, a friendly smile stuck on his face. "I'll see what I can do." I give him a thankful smile, taking a step in the direction of the kitchen. Sebastian walks out and spots the five of us in the hallway. I give him a small smile and a wave, stopping in my tracks and backing up slightly.

"There you all are- I would like to go over the adjusted schedule today." He informed, pulling out his pocket watch and looking at the time before tucking it away, clearly figuring that he had the time. "Finnian and Baldroy, you will continue with your daily tasks, although some days {BFF/N} and {Y/N} may assist you, should they find themselves available." He explained, before gesturing to the three of us,

"As for Mey-rin, {Y/N}, and {BFF/N}, you three will be on a rotating schedule. As of yesterday; {Y/N} worked on the bedrooms, {BFF/N} swept the floors, and Mey-rin cleaned the lounges. Today I will keep those three general tasks as priorities, but make it so that {Y/N} is cleaning the lounges, Mey-rin focuses on the floors, and {BFF/N} practices on the bedrooms. I will assist in teaching {BFF/N} as well as {Y/N} on our way of cleaning things when I have the time. As for the miscellaneous tasks..." He can talk a lot, I noticed, then realized that it made sense. He had to teach Ciel and the other servants. He'd get pretty well-versed in lecturing in that time.

"Is that clear?" I snap to attention, and nod to him, hearing a, "Yes sir!" From Mey-Rin. "You are all dismissed and may begin your work." I lightly bow before the other two head up the staircase. I hear Mey-rin start up conversation with {BFF/N} and gently smile to myself, following Baldroy out, myself.

"Is there anything you need help with before I head out, Baldroy?" I question politely, fiddling with my hands before putting them behind my back, staring at him.

"Not much 'at I can think of. Mr. Sebastian should assist me in the kitchen as he usually does, nothin' different, nothin' changed." He answered simply, and I shrug.

"Alrighty then. I was just making sure." I head up the stairs first now that I've done my designated check to make sure nobody else needs anything.

I dust off the mantle, placing the sconces back where they belong. The mirror resting on the wall serves as a soft reminder that cleaning is messy work, and I see that in the reflection there's a bit of dust in the upper left corner. Quickly going to the cart that was in the corner of the lounge- discreet 'in case the lord brought his guests in'- and carefully rung out the rag, knowing precisely how to clean mirrors. And that it's important to clean the mirrors; more people would notice it than you might think. Especially in the 19th century. I finish wiping down the mirror and toss the rag into one of the three tin pails resting on the cart.

I would say I enjoy cleaning, more or less. It's less work than socializing or writing essays, but I can't say it's better than a good manga or video game. It's one of those tasks you find yourself saddled with and make the best of. Taking the dustpan, I sweep the ashes out of the fire place, trying to make it as neat as possible before restocking the holders with firewood, and lighting it with one of my lighters and some of the newspapers set aside for kindling... after some light reading, of course. These people don't know it, but the information on these is wholly unique and worth a lot in our time.

A secondary benefit to this job is that it helps with my pyromania quite a bit. I can set things on fire here all day; so long as it's restricted to the fireplaces, which I don't mind. I watch the blaze thoroughly consume the newspaper and use a second newspaper to help it breathe, watching the logs catch aswell. I roll up the second newspaper and set it aside, watching the fire, and then setting one final log. I then stand up, stretch, and start to lightly dust off the couches, replacing the pillows.

Cleaning rooms for hours on end is also therapeutic, I would add, if I were talking to someone. It's very simple to move from room to room, dust things off so that they look used, and then move on to the next room. That being said, it's very annoying to have to silently keep track off all the rooms in this damned mansion. How many lounges did one thirteen year old boy need? He didn't even like people! I give a heavy sigh and look into the mirror above the fireplace in lounge #3,999 and pause.

Eyes widening slightly, I turn to the space behind me that was empty not even three seconds ago, giving Sebastian an inquisitive glance. "You're quiet." Is all I can think to say, before my face goes into a smile at my own statement.

"Of course I am, I'm simply-" He starts, and on impulse I cut him off;

"- wait please don't." I hold up my hand, surprising him slightly. "I..." I pause, bringing my hand to my neck and feigning a confused look, "... huh. For some reason I had the urge to stop you. I'm sorry, that was impolite of me." I apologize, having the common sense to appear bashful. "Uh- so you're here to check on my work, right?"

His face retains it's usual smile, creepily enough, and he looks around, running his fingers over the side table. "You are correct. You're shockingly thorough."

I shrug casually, giving him more of a genuine smile, "It would reflect poorly of the young lord if I left anything out of place or unclean. Surely such performance isn't that heavy of a shock?" I respond incredulously, and truly, I don't believe that good cleaning is that rare. Anyone with working hands and legs can clean.

"{BFF/N} found particular struggles with forgetting to check the dressers for insects." 'Forgot, or left them be because they didn't want to hurt the poor things?' I can't help the disappointed face I make, closing my eyes and holding my temple lightly. He turns to me, looking at the mirror, and then at the windows. "Still, this is quite impressive."

'My dude- it's CLEANING.' I keep a polite smile, lowing my hand. "Well, I've been doing this for a while now." I stop letting him distract me as I go to a decorative shelf, opening the cabinet doors so that I could clean the inside. "Did you come here just to compliment me, or...?" My patience might be wearing a little thin, maybe just a tad. Whatever it was, he was either hesitating to tell me because he was uncertain- highly unlikely, but no matter the person, never not an option- or because he was trying to draw out my patience. Personally, I didn't care for that kind of game.

"I was just thinking that I would be hard-pressed to be dissatisfied with your performance so far." He starts simply, looking around and running his hand over surfaces I've dusted. He looked around the room, long legs silently and steadily guiding him wherever he desired. Was I too big brain these past couple of times?

"I know you've hinted that you and {BFF/N}'s parents had your... differences in opinions." Shit, I probably was, and I'm not really that big brain really I just thought a lot about those instances. "So I'm wondering... what are those differences, really?" Fuck it. I can only think of one clear excuse;

"I like women!" I turn to him, throwing my hands up in the air. "I'm homosexual, alright?" I state flustered, though I'm not telling the full truth, I'm not lying. I just want to keep him from investigating any further, and well... might as well get it out of the way. He staggers slightly, appearing like that genuinely shocked him, and I realize what I actually just confessed to. Whoops.

"Oh." he covers his mouth, turning away, and I cover my face in some mixture of embarrassment, mild shame, and a little bit of anxiety at the fact that I just confessed to being a non-straight in the 19th Century. We stay like that for a while, and I get a good moment to truly think about my action here.

Not my smartest play, now that I actually think about it. I probably could have just said they were abusing {BFF/N}, or something. I didn't have to tell him I was gay. Granted, maybe this was a big brain play. I clear my throat, rubbing my cheeks to make the blood continue it's path. I turn back to him, and he seemed to be in the process of recovering himself. Though I catch the faintest flicker of a grin- your eyes tend to naturally go to his mouth when you're a fan- he otherwise tries to maintain an amused if not neutral face.

My hands leave my face, tucking them into my chest before waving as I speak once more, "So. Yeah. I'm... okay it's not that I don't like guys, right? It's just that I do like girls, and one of the other maids picked up on this, and some rumours started, and so we left. That combined with how they treated {BFF/N}... well, it seemed like a good idea at the time." I should really probably stop talking.

"Calm yourself, miss {Y/N}, I understand completely. Although, I will say, that's quite a confession to make to the head butler of all people. If I were a crueler man, I'd find a way to punish you for your... misgivings." My blood ran a bit cold at that, and my hands found their way to my apron, fiddling with the fabric.

"I understand, most people don't really get it. I understand if you think I'm a danger to society, or something." Part of me wanted to go into the more specifics of my romanticality and sexuality, but I didn't want to confuse him too much.

"No, no. I personally don't understand the desire to court one's own sex, but if that's how you feel, there's no preventing it, now is there?" He hums, and like a rare butterfly to an etymologist, I find myself fluttering about the mesh cage, unsure what to do in this new environment I've gotten caught in. I simply smile softly, albeit shyly, and turn back to the cabinet.

"I have cleaning to do, I believe it would be better for us if you went to go serve our lord his mid-morning snack." I recommended, turning around and clearing the first shelf. I heard him chuckle.

"Very well then, if you require assistance, I won't be far away." He promised, leaving the room as quickly and silently as he entered. I don't tell him that I won't be needing his assistance- though I won't- and instead hold my tongue, going back to a 'default' face now that I am free from the obligations of looking at all pleased to be here. I hum a small tune to myself as I place the items back onto a dusted shelf.

Though things could certainly be worse. Given that I'm not immediately kicked out, I'll just remain calm. I'm more worried {BFF/N} will break, really. At least my outburst was... well, it wasn't great, but it could have been worse. I'm worried about them saying something that somehow wouldn't quite fit in with the narrative, and, out of a little bit of conspiracy, I move away from the window and text them just in case. '{BFF/N}, btw, I just came out as gay to Seb. That's my reason for fleeing. Ur parents still sussy tho.' I wait a moment, seeing their bubbles pop up for a second before going away.

At least they got the message. I put my phone away- turning it all the way off to preserve the battery- and then continue cleaning the shelf. Well, hope that that goes well.

I sit on the counter of the kitchen near the staff bedrooms, flicking on and off the lighter that had managed it's way with me. It was metal and cold, a novice engraving of a flame on one side, my father's initials tucked in the corner. The motion was simple- flip the top, strike the side. Fire. I knew it was bad for the striker to keep doing that, but I needed some solace.

I keep my ankles crossed and swing my legs back and forth, watching the fire in a mind-numbing haze. The lounges were easy enough to clean. They'd probably be finished by- "Oi. {Y/N}, right?" I startle, immediately flipping my lighter closed and looking to the years-familiar voice, hand pocketing it at the same time.

"Ah, Baldroy, yeah?" I give him a nod and an empty smile. "It's lunch time so after helping Sebastian plate lord Ciel's meal, I was taking a small break." I reason aloud, hopping off the counter and reaching for the rag.

As he walked closer, I noticed he had an eyebrow raised, "I coulda guessed. I was jus' wonderin' if you had any preferences." A pause, "For lunch, of course."

I take the rag and move to the sink, turning it on, "Well, I don't really have any hard set favourites," I answer, wetting the rag and then wringing it out, "Though I'm partial to pastas- nothing with tomatoes in it, though. I hate tomatoes." My nose scrunched up as I move back to the centre island counter, setting the rag on it.

He watches, still, and part of me wonders if he's thinking about pulling a gun on me right here. What would I even do about that? My current answer was somewhere near 'lie down and die.' "Ya' hate tomatoes? Why?"

"It would be easier to list the one reason I can bear seeing them around me;" I joke, wiping the counter and then tossing the rag at the sink, "I am not God, so I cannot remove them." I joke, smiling to myself as the rag makes it directly in. Baldroy laughs at that, and I lean onto the counter once more, though I don't climb onto it as he goes to look for a pot or pan in the counters. "What about you?"

"Ah, I like cake, but that's not really a food... I guess meat. Meat and meat-based foods. Like pigs in a blanket or steak." He pauses his search, and I see him swallow. "Mmmn- steak."

People from anime are weird. I also take the opportunity to admire him. Baldroy is, of course, among the denizens of Black Butler. His role in the anime and manga is to defend the manor. His blonde hair and blue eyes make him handsome enough- and his body is that of a larger man. Any girl from the normal planet would be more than in-love with him. "What in the nine hells..." he comments, and I snap out of it, eyes following his arms as he pulls out a curled-up plastic skeleton.

My hands fly to my mouth as I make a vague honking noise, surprised and amused all at once. He turns to me, skeleton in grasp, and I turn away, laughing into my hands. How did it get here? I had completely forgotten about that- because why would that ever be on my mind? He holds the skeleton up to the light, knowing it's not real but trying to figure out what it's made out of. I don't comment as he moves it in his hand for a few solid moments, setting it down on the counter. "Well this is an odd ornament. It ain't real, but it's certainly unique. Whoever placed this 'ere musta' been tryin' to scare someone..." He commented, rubbing his chin.

"You think it might have something to do with {BFF/N} and I?" I ask, having collected myself. I pick it up by the arms and look at it. I sit it on the counter proper. "Maybe someone's trying to scare us off? I wouldn't blame them, but that's the only reason I can see for putting this here." I comment aloud,

"Putting what, where?" The smooth voice of Sebastian rings out, before Baldroy can answer, Mey-rin beside him with the cart.

"The lass here was just worried about this toy skeleton that was under the sink-" Baldroy gestures to it, and Mey-rin's eyebrows shoot into her hairline. "I would be too, honestly. It's pretty ominous."

"That is ominous, yes it is," Mey-rin responds, walking up to it, "I find myself wondering if it's any of us, though." She responds, hand on one half of her face as she frowns, and I join her.

"Well, I didn't want to presume the Lord's manor unsafe, of course," I start, picking up Chad, "but I'm uncertain as to if anyone here could have or would do this. However, regardless of if I accuse someone here or say someone outside brought it in..."

"You'd be questioning the Lord's safety measures, and your own personal safety." Sebastian finished for me, though I didn't ask him to. His eyes trained on me. I carefully hugged the skeleton to my chest,

"Right. So I think I'm just going to take this to my room and call that that, yeah?" I question, looking around the room. Baldroy shrugs with a noncommittal response, and Mey-rin nods. "Right- I'll see you three in about two minutes." I respond, not waiting for Sebastian's answer before heading out of the room.

I look down at Chad in my arms, then waving to {BFF/N} and Finnian in the halls. They both seem shocked- {BFF/N} teetering on amused- and I enter my room, setting Chad down on the extra bed, next to King. "Well, this is officially weird."

I hear a scream ring out through the hallway, and I lean up from looking underneath a guest bed. Seconds later, I hear a crash of glass follow, and I narrow my eyes with a small sigh. I wipe my hands off on the apron and then step out, looking to where the sound came from. "Mey-rin?" Sure enough, Mey-rin was sitting on the ground, clutching at the open air to catch a box of something that landed one foot away.

"I- I've got it, yes I do..." She states defeatedly, and her and I both wince when she picks up the box and we hear the glass crunch against itself.

"Lovingly, I don't think you do." I mumble, approaching her empathetically and leaning down over the box. I lightly place my hand on the top and push it back to the ground. I gently open it, cringing at the broken china. "What were these for?"

"The young lord is having guests tomorrow, he is, and Mr. Sebastian asked me to get the china down from the storage..." She wilted, and I hum, picking up a piece out and then another, pressing the two pieces together. They fit together pretty well, still. Though, it wouldn't do any good to serve food on broken tableware.

"Lead me to the closet, maybe there's something that looks similar." I offer, picking up the box and looking down at her.

"We aren't going to fix it?" She asked, standing up.

"Oh no, we shouldn't be serving broken dishes to our guests. Especially not anyone important..." I hum, and she moves in front of me, "Who's visiting, if I may?"

"Oh, Lady Ravenwatch, of course. She and lord Phantomhive are pretty close." I pause, my steps silencing in the hall, and I feel my heart stall for a good three seconds. Mey-rin, of course, pick up on it right away, and I watch her turn to look towards me. "{Y/N}?" I take a deep breath,

"Oh, really?" I continue walking, shaking off the harrowing feeling crawling up my spine. I know everything about Black Butler but I don't at all remember a person named Lady Ravenwatch. Though the name is thematic, it's unfamiliar. Mey-rin tilts her head, though.

"Yes, they are! Do you know of her?"

"No, I don't," that's the problem, "What does she do?" I question, trying to put feelers out. I don't know who this Ravenwatch lady is- I'm not even sure if maybe I just forgot about her in some list of nobles they prattled off. Although, 'pretty close' is a strange way to describe anyone to Ciel. I would barely call him and Sebastian 'pretty close.'

"Oh, well as her name implies, her family makes and sells timepieces- watches and the like." She answered, and I nod along, "Though she's a fairly new name, she's very well respected and the young master and her have business meetings from time to time."

"Isn't Ciel in the toy industry?" She gives me a Look at that, and I clear my throat, "Isn't our master in the toy industry?" I have the decency to look ashamed- I mean I only know Ciel that well in theory- and she just gives a forgiving smile.

"Yes, but apparently they go to the same people for a few things and met because of it." She prattles on about some rumours about how they first met getting handkerchiefs, as my mind wanders further into what he could use a watchmaker for. Really, their connection would only be useful for replacing things in the manor and maybe scoping out discounts on small parts. Though he could also keep her around for the aesthetic, that doesn't really... fit his type. Maybe if Sebastian had a say in it, but certainly not Ciel.

Mey-rin and I make it to the closet, and I decide to put the thoughts out of my mind. Entering the dark room, I set the box down on a stool as I open it. Deftly, I shift the broken porcelain shards around the box, pulling out a more intact piece- one of a few- and set it on a shelf. "... So we need one that looks like this..." The cups that were broken were pretty averagely expensive, a simple white with a decorative blue trim. Knowing Ciel, he definitely had more like this. I pulled down another box, and I go to open it before I hear a fairly distinct gunshot.

I pause, of course, and look to Mey-rin, who's also startled by the noise, albeit for different reasons, and in a different way. She looks down the hall, then at me again. I nod for her to leave, and she closes the door to the closet- leaving me in relative dark. Part of me wants to pull out my phone or lighter, but I cannot be bothered, and so I wait the thirty seconds it takes for my eyes to adjust. I lean closer to the door, opening up the box and investigating the pieces, keeping a calm mind best I can. A few shaky breaths escape, and I put the box back up, since it doesn't have the design I'm looking for.

A few more gunshots go off in the span of time it takes for me to investigate another box, and they pick up for a brief second before petering off. I find the box I'm looking for, and I exit the closet, seeing Mey-Rin running my direction. She stops in the middle of the hallway, seeming surprised by my calm demeanor.

"Is there anything you need out here worth your life?" She asked, dramatically. They aren't real people anyways, I decide- this is just a silly show. So long as {BFF/N} and I are safe, I really shouldn't take anything seriously. My eyebrows furrow, and I just laugh it off, shrugging.

I hold up the box with a small grin, "I mean... maybe this box of china?" Mey-rin did not look amused.

Notes:

I never stop screaming

#black butler fanfiction

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