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wavesoutbeingtossed · 1 month

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TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause.

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work. (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,” (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going.

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all.

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

#the tortured poets department #Happy Good Friday this post has risen from the dead #(oops was that uncouth of me)#three weeks!!!!!!#i need this album now #my brain is on fire #Writing letters addressed to the fire

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 3 months

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Hello, I'm back to drop more questions regarding the BSD x SAGAU work. 1. How is the relationship between the elemental monsters (like slimes or hypotasises), the cursed Khaenri'ah (hilichurls, the Abyss Order), Celestia, the Traveller, and the Fake Creator and Reader? 2. How much knowledge does the BSD cast have of Teyvat and Reader's identity? 3. How did the Reader disappear for the first time? 4. Is Teyvat self-aware? Is these too much questions? I hope I didn't cross any boundaries. Keep up the work! I'm really looking forward to your new works! Take care <3

Hello!

Don't worry, I am fine with answering all questions you have. And all these questions were fine.

Thanks for your support ☺️

1. 1. With elemental monsters: They can feel Echoes of Creator's powers coming from Reader. They don't attack Reader, listen to them. Reader have no reason to worry about fighting with them. Moreover, they would help Reader, if someone tried to attack them. But, if Fake Creator decided to go after Reader themselves, Elemental Monsters won't do anything to help. They won't help Reader or Fake Creator. For Elemental Monsters, both Reader and Fake Creator look like True/Real Creator.

1.2. Situation with hilichurls are similar to situation with Elemental Monsters. But, they can choose sides and can be manipulated. So, there are hilichurls, that would chase after Reader.

1.2.1. Abyss Order believe in Fake Creator. They are searching for Reader, helping humans hunting Reader. Abyss Order manipulate hilichurls into choosing Fake Creator's side.

1.3. Celestia is on Reader's side. They were True Creator's (First one) familiars, they knew, how exactly Creator's reincarnations will look like. They see Fake Creator as an abomination. A crime against First Creator.

That's the reason why Fake Creator destroy Celestia. So they won't tell the truth about Fake Creator.

Celestia is weak, but Celestia gods and Sustainer will give away everything they had to protect Reader.

1.4. Traveler are really confused. Both Reader and Fake Creator have similar auras. Traveler can't tell the difference between them. On one hand, there are poor Reader, who are love in fear of being captured. On second hand, there are Fake Creator, who helped their sibling. Who reunited Aether and Lumine. And Abyss Sibling want Reader's blood. So, Traveler are hunting Reader down.

1.5. Fake Creator hate Reader. Fake are sure, that Reader came into Teyvat to overthrow them. Fake Creator want to kill Reader and absorb their powers. Fake Creator will do anything to get all Reader's powers, even, if it means to do unspeakable things to Reader and their body.

2. For BSD Cast, Teyvat was a fictional world. When they still were in their own world, they were looking through other apps Reader have on their phone, they didn't feel anything strange coming from Genshin Impact. Moreover, they played in Genshin Impact (helping Reader with exploration, chests and oculus) while Reader were doing something else.

BSD Cast weren't interested in Genshin Impact too much. Until Reader disappeared, reappeared, and Capitano followed them.

After that, BSD Cast start looking for an info about Teyvat.

Katai, Naomi, Kirako, teens and kids (Karma, Kenji, Kuyoka, Kyuusaku, Aya, Elise, Sakura, Yuu, Katsumi, Shinji and Kousuke) are searching through Wiki, YouTube, Reddit, Tumblr, TV Tropes, looking for Genshin lore.

Others are traveling to Teyvat through the portal and spying on Teyvat people, learning about Creator.

So, they became knowledgeable about Teyvat and Creator.

They still not sure about Reader's identity. BSD Cast think, that Reader can be either Creator's reincarnation, or Reader simply look the same as Creator. There is no way for them to prove it or disprove. Reader's powers only work in Teyvat, and BSD Cast won't let Reader return there.

Reader's identity doesn't matter to BSD Cast. They love/like and cherish Reader. Reader were hurt. Someone must pay for that.

3. It was an incident. Fake Creator tried to search for more things, that were left from previous reincarnations, so they used a "spell" to transport everything, that have First Creator's powers in Teyvat. And Reader are considered part of "everything, that have Creator's powers".

4. Teyvat is Self-Aware to some extent. It can "feel", what kind of powers, both Reader and Fake Creator. It even can tell, who are real and who are fake. But, its powers are limited.

First Creator add a rule into Teyvat's 'soul', while creating it.

'Humans over all. You can never hurt them on purpose'

Teyvat also can't hurt any reincarnation of First Creator.

So, Teyvat's actions are careful and limited. It can't hurt people, who are after Reader. But, Teyvat can hide Reader, made others stop chasing you because of a bad weather. It can show Reader secret save paths.

Teyvat also can play small 'pranks' on Fake Creator, making them trip, or flooding their Cathedrals and Palace, freeze their gardens.

______

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #imposter sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #sagau impostor au

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kipsels · 9 months

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Something Precious

Lumine x Zhongli

Trigger Warning: Pregnancy

Lumine liked to joke that Zhongli knew her body better than she did. The combination of his heightened senses and his observant nature meant he was cued into every little detail, every little change.

So it really shouldn’t have surprised her that Zhongli realised she was pregnant just from the slightest shift in her scent, well before any symptoms or physical changes could set in.

There had been shock, but there had also been so much joy.

Being in a space to finally have a family was a blessing all of its own, but knowing it was real… that was something immense.

It was also then that Lumine learned she had only seen the tip of the iceberg when it came to Zhongli’s protective instincts beforehand.

She handled most of it with grace. If he brewed her four different types of herbal tea that were meant to ease morning sickness, she would drink them. If he served her fortified soups and stews that were supposed to support the baby’s development, she would eat them. When her belly began to swell, she agreed to his request to swap her commissions for lighter errands and put her sword aside.

And okay, she might have chewed him out when he suggested she remain in her teapot domain for the entire length of her pregnancy because he was certain the fluctuating energy in the ley lines would have unintended consequences, but he was going a bit far that time.

Still… Though it might have felt a little overbearing, every time Zhongli got down on his knee in front of her to press his forehead against her belly and murmur sweet words to their child, the grumpy cast over her heart crumbled into a lovesick gooey mess.

But this.

This was something else.

Lumine stood in the entryway of their bedroom, her jaw dropping to the floor. Their furniture had been pushed against the walls, leaving an open space in the centre of the room.

Large, fluffy pillows and rich, blankety throws covered the entire floor, as if a small tornado had run through the place and dumped a merchant's entire stock in there. Warm colours of amber and gold shone in the afternoon sunlight, quietly beckoning her forth.

And in the centre of it stood Zhongli, his coat discarded and shirtsleeves rolled up, with his brow pinched as he plucked at a pillow as if its position disturbed him.

Perfectly human looking, and perfectly not.

“Zhongli, a-are you nesting?” She asked while she hid her budding smile behind her hand.

She knew that look- watched as he straightened up his posture and raised his index finger, furrowing his brow as he readied himself for an explanation.

What excuse would he come up with?

That he was ‘simply redecorating’, or he was ‘removing hazards’?

But the explanation never came. His mouth remained open as if the words sat at the tip of his tongue, and Lumine felt her smile grow as he struggled.

She waited as his mouth finally clicked shut, his eyes downcast as he looked down at the plethora of pillows surrounding him.

“I… suppose you’re right,” Zhongli said, his hand falling to the side as he looked baffled by his own admission, “I am nesting.”

Lumine could not stop herself, peals of laughter bubbling up inside her as Zhongli gave her a guilty side-eye.

“I am sorry, my dear. I know my tendencies leave me getting a little carried away.”

“Zhongli, it’s fine… But you know you don’t need to do all this, right? Our bed was perfectly fine,” Lumine questioned, her eyes scoping out the room to try find any surface that wasn’t covered in decadent throw blankets.

He peered at her with those magnetic eyes of his, capturing her heart all over again with his words. “I understand but… Lumine, your body is protecting something far more precious than any treasure, a miracle I once never dared to dream of."

"Can you fault me from wanting to protect you both in turn?”

Lumine felt herself soften, and she raised her arms up, “Carry me? Please?”

Zhongli’s body visibly wilted with relief at her request, and she soon found herself scooped up in his arms as he took them to the middle of his haphazard nest.

He cradled her gently as he brought her down onto the floor, the softness of the pillows and throws against her aching body leaving her sighing in relief.

Zhongli curled himself around her, one hand laid protectively over her stomach. She felt his deep breaths flutter the hair on the back of her head, the soft sound of his quiet purring reaching her ears.

“Feel better now?” She asked as his thigh nudged her legs apart, tucking himself even closer.

“Knowing you are both safe, that is all I need.”

Lumine placed her hand over his, her fingers curling in between the gaps of his own. She could feel his contentment as if it was her own, a blanket of comfort that felt warmer than any else.

“So…How much did this all cost?” She asked, her voice already drifting with sleep.

“It is of no consequence.”

“It is if the debt collectors come after us.”

-Fin-

#zhonglumi #lumine #zhongli #genshin impact #drabble fic #pregnancy #cross posted onto twitter

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alexanderlightweight · 5 months

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Wish me luck?

I’m trying to recover from my bad leg having an episode (typically I can’t drive or walk after one for a few days without risking making it worse)

But that means I’m laying down enough to finish recovering from a really bad allergic reaction that was timed poorly with a cold (and also helping the House because one of their parents died and we were Emotional Support™️ for them while they helped make medical decisions and arrangements).

Which maybe means I’ll get a chance to just try and write or even think about it beyond ‘I really wish I could write rn’.

I haven’t even opened my laptop except for work in the last week and I am sad.

💜 lumine

#lumine talks to ppl #lumine sheds light #lumine is tired

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xiaosspear · 19 days

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an eternity without you || part IV || xiao x reader

Under the soft glow of Liyue City's lanterns, Lumine and Y/N strolled side by side, their steps synchronized as if they were dancing to the rhythm of the night. Lumine's gaze wandered over the bustling streets, but her attention soon turned to Y/N, a gentle smile gracing her lips. "Y/N," she began softly, "I'm grateful for you. In a world where everyone seems to demand something from me, you're the one person who accepts me just as I am." Y/N's eyes met hers, reflecting understanding and warmth, a silent promise of unwavering support amidst the chaos of their journey.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Lumine," You replied with a tender smile, your voice carrying the warmth of genuine friendship. "You're my best friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll always be here for you, supporting you through everything."

Lumine sighed wearily, her voice tinged with exhaustion as she lamented, "I'm drained from these endless side missions. All I want is to find my brother, but every day is a relentless cycle of battling, assisting others, and traversing through lands. It's taking a toll on me."

Her exhaustion was palpable, evident in the heavy bags under her eyes, a silent testament to the weight of her weariness.

"Lumine," Your voice softened with sincerity, "if you ever need my help, I'll be more than happy to assist you. Just say the word, and I'll be there by your side, no matter what."

"I... I don't want to trouble you," Lumine murmured softly, her gaze filled with concern.

"Lumine," Y/N replied with a reassuring smile, "you could never bother me. Your well-being and happiness are important to me, so please don't hesitate to lean on me whenever you need."

"If you could help me with commissions, i would be the most grateful," Lumine expressed, her tone hopeful. "I have one from Katheryne. I need to fight some Lawachurls in Jueyun Karst."

"Consider it done! I'll take care of them right away," Y/N responded eagerly, her determination shining through. "You go and rest, Lumine. You need to eat and recharge. I'll handle everything."

The commission atop the rugged mountain proved to be no big deal for you. With every step, you faced treacherous terrain, the path demanding both physical endurance and mental fortitude. Battling through a horde of Lawachurls, your muscles strained with effort as they fought valiantly to overcome the challenges in your path.

Exhausted, you sought respite upon a narrow ledge, the cool mountain air offering a brief reprieve. Yet, amidst the tranquility, an eerie flute-like whistling pierced the silence, sending shivers down your spine. It was a sound that seemed to emanate from the very heart of the mountain, carrying with it an ominous presence that stirred a sense of unease within your soul.

("Bird call from afar" from the genshin soundtrack, if you're confused! :) , it's said that it is xiao calling out to his dead friends)

As the haunting melody lingered in the air, you were suddenly engulfed by a cascade of memories that weren't yours, each one more disorienting than the last. Your head throbbed with intense pain, as if a thousand needles were piercing your skull, while your heart felt constricted, as though gripped by an invisible vice. Gasping for breath, your vision began to blur, darkness encroaching upon your senses.

In that moment of despair, all you could recall was the relentless pounding in your head, a symphony of agony that drowned out the world around you. And then, as swiftly as it had begun, consciousness slipped away, leaving you adrift in a sea of darkness.

As you began to stir, your senses gradually returning, you were greeted by a persistent ringing in your ears, the aftermath of whatever had just transpired. Your head throbbed with lingering pain, making it a struggle to even crack your eyelids open. Yet, amidst the haze of disorientation, you felt something gentle and plush brushing against your face, a sensation both comforting and perplexing. Unable to fully comprehend what it was, you reached out tentatively, fingers grazing against the softness as you tried to piece together the puzzle of your surroundings.

Through the persistent ringing in your ears, a muffled voice pierced the haze, calling out urgently. "Y/N, get off her, come on," it urged, the words barely audible yet filled with urgency.

Your mind struggled to piece together the fragmented puzzle of consciousness, the voice stirring a sense of confusion within you. Slowly, you forced your heavy eyelids to open, squinting against the dim light as you attempted to make out your surroundings. The sensation of someone beneath you registered, prompting a dawning realization that you needed to move. With a concerted effort, you pushed yourself up, disentangling from whatever—or whoever—you had unwittingly been resting upon.

As your senses slowly returned, the delicate scent of Qingxin flowers filled the air, their fragrance permeating the dimly lit space. Blinking away the remnants of disorientation, your vision gradually cleared, dispelling the black and purple circles that had clouded yoursight moments before.

"Verr Goldet? Where am I?" you questioned, your gaze settling on the figure before you, whose presence had only just become apparent.

As consciousness gently embraced you, you found yourself greeted by the warm smile of Verr Goldet, a seasoned adventurer with eyes that shimmered like molten gold. With a graceful motion, she delicately placed a fluffy cat onto the ground before extending a hand to help you rise from the bed. "She's awake!" Verr exclaimed with a sudden burst of excitement, her voice echoing through the room like a call to arms.

Not long after Verr Goldet's outburst, a mysterious puff of teal and black smoke materialized before you, unveiling none other than the vigilant Yaksha of Liyue, Xiao. With a stern expression and a powerful aura surrounding him, he stood before you.

"You're okay.." Xiao stated with a hint of reproach, his normally impassive expression clouded with a hint of anger. "Why were you even all the way up there?"

"Uh," You stammered, meeting Xiao's gaze with a sense of apprehension. "Lumine asked me to help with a commission that happened to be there."

Taking a moment to survey your surroundings, you couldn't help but feel a pang of disorientation. "Where am I?" You inquired, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

"You don't need to concern yourself with that," Xiao's voice softened, a touch of worry underlying his words. "Just focus on resting. You took quite a hit to the head."

"Xiao, were you the one that got me here?" you asked, your voice tinged with uncertainty as you searched the enigmatic Yaksha's eyes for answers.

Xiao's voice, soft and barely above a whisper, resonated in the stillness of the moment. "I did," he confessed, his gaze steady yet somber. "I heard the cries of help echoing from within your heart."

You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head slightly in disbelief. "I don't remember calling for help," you remark, your voice tinged with bemusement as you meet Xiao's gaze, a flicker of curiosity dancing in your eyes.

Xiao furrowed his brows, a subtle crease forming on his serene countenance as he closed his eyes for a fleeting moment. "Be grateful that I saved you, mortal," he intoned, his voice carrying a hint of solemnity. "Who knows how long you would have lain there unconscious without my intervention."

You giggle lightly, finding your footing as you stand up, albeit with a slight stumble. With determined steps, you make your way over to Xiao, a grateful smile gracing your lips. "Thank you for saving me," you express sincerely, your eyes reflecting genuine appreciation. "I really appreciate it." You continue smiling, though a sense of urgency tugs at your thoughts. "Anyways, Lumine is probably worried, so I should get going," you add, a touch of regret lacing your words as you prepare to depart.

As you turn around, ready to take your leave, Xiao's voice cuts through the air, halting your movement. "Wait," he calls out softly, prompting you to face him once more. "You're leaving?" he inquires, a subtle hint of reluctance evident in his tone as he meets your gaze with an unreadable expression

You turn back to face Xiao, a hint of confusion creasing your brow at his question. "Well... yeah," you reply, a touch of uncertainty in your voice. "I don't want to bother you any longer. Don't you have, like, a city to protect?" You add a touch of sarcasm to your words, accompanied by a wry smile, attempting to lighten the mood.

Xiao's expression remains unchanged, his demeanor serious and composed as he addresses you. "I have no wish to spend my free time with a mortal like you," he admits bluntly, his tone unwavering. "However, there are matters we need to discuss, for your..." he pauses momentarily, his voice lowering to a near whisper, "...or my safety." The gravity of his words hangs heavy in the air, underscoring the importance of the conversation ahead.

Intrigued by Xiao's words, you turn around and walk back to the bed, taking a seat and patting the space beside you, gesturing for Xiao to join you. Your curiosity piqued, you await his next words with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension.

Xiao's expression remains inscrutable as he observes your invitation, but eventually, he takes a seat at the end of the bed, keeping a noticeable distance between you. His posture is rigid, his gaze focused ahead as he prepares to discuss the matters at hand.

Breaking the tense silence, Xiao speaks up, his voice low and serious he mimics an expression of slight cringe. "This whole my blood in yours thing...," he begins cautiously, "you need to be careful about it. If anyone finds out, especially the Harbingers, they will stop at nothing to capture you. You'll become like a lab rabbit, subjected to all sorts of experiments." The gravity of his warning hangs heavily in the air, emphasizing the dangers that lie ahead.

You nod in understanding, recalling the interaction with Childe from the other week. "Oh, I see," you remark, the implications sinking in. "So, they'll try to capture any of us, just to conduct tests on what my blood and body are capable of?" The thought sends a shiver down your spine, realizing the extent of the danger lurking in the shadows

Xiao nods solemnly. "Indeed," he agrees. "However, it might only be you. They know they can't just take me." His words carry a weight of inevitability, underscoring the disparity in their vulnerabilities within the realm of Teyvat's intricate power dynamics.

Xiao's gaze softens slightly as he continues, his voice carrying a rare note of sincerity. "If that were to happen, or if you're in any danger," he says, his tone unwavering, "just call out my name. I'll be the first one there." The promise of his protection resonates with unwavering resolve, offering a glimmer of reassurance amidst the looming shadows of uncertainty.

As Xiao's words sink in, you can't help but wonder about his true intentions. Does he genuinely care about your safety, or is he merely fulfilling his duty to protect Liyue and its inhabitants? The Yaksha's stoic demeanor makes it difficult to discern his true feelings, leaving you with a sense of ambiguity as you contemplate his words.

Xiao's voice carries a hint of melancholy as he speaks, his gaze momentarily dropping before meeting yours again. "I saw... your fighting abilities back there," he begins, his words tinged with sorrow. "They're quite similar to mine... to... theirs." His mention of "theirs" hints at a deeper connection beyond mere combat prowess.

He pauses, then continues, his expression troubled. "How come you have a hydro vision, not an anemo one?" he asks, curiosity mingling with the sadness in his eyes. The question hangs in the air, laden with unspoken implications about your past and the mysteries surrounding your existence.

"Should I have obtained an Anemo vision like yours after everything happened?" you question, a sense of uncertainty threading through your words. The query hangs in the air, revealing your curiosity about the nature of visions and their role in your own journey.

Xiao nods slightly once more, his expression grave as he rises to his feet. "You have the potential to be like me, a protector of Liyue," he acknowledges, his voice tinged with caution. "However, if anyone takes notice, word will spread, and that could prove to be dangerous." His words carry a weight of warning, underscoring the delicate balance between wielding power and attracting unwanted attention in the realm of Teyvat.

"Don't worry," you assure him with a warm smile. "I'd love to help you, and I'll be really careful, I promise!" Your sincerity shines through as you offer your reassurance, determined to navigate the complexities of your newfound abilities with caution and diligence.

As you express your willingness to assist, Xiao's thoughts drift, contemplating your resolve. "She's the same, just like back then..." he thinks to himself, a glimmer of emotion flickering in his eyes. He struggles to comprehend why you would willingly put yourself in harm's way night after night, solely to aid him. The enigmatic Yaksha remains silent, his thoughts shrouded in a mixture of gratitude and concern for your well-being.

Brushing off his fleeting emotions, Xiao adopts his usual stoic demeanor and bluntly states, "I don't need your help. Do you think I won't be fine alone?" His words carry a hint of dismissiveness, revealing his reluctance to rely on others and his unwavering confidence in his own abilities.

Your smile falters momentarily at his rejection, but you quickly regain your composure, refusing to be discouraged. "Hmm..." you muse, a determined glint in your eyes as you offer a solution. "Okay then, how about I just tag along? You could teach me, you know, about all of my abilities, since you're the experienced one here," you suggest with a playful roll of your eyes, attempting to lighten the mood with a hint of humor.

Xiao's arms fold across his chest, a reluctant acknowledgment in his tone. "Fine, if you're insistent, you can accompany me," he concedes, though his expression remains guarded. Turning to you, he fixes you with a stern gaze. "But on one condition: you follow my instructions and refrain from acting recklessly," he insists, emphasizing the need for caution and obedience to ensure both of your safety.

You spring from the bed in excitement, a grin spreading across your face. "Okay, boss," you exclaim eagerly, your enthusiasm palpable. "Do we start tonight?" Your readiness to embark on this new journey with Xiao shines through, eager to prove yourself and learn from his expertise.

Xiao observes your excitement with a hint of confusion, his understanding of human emotions limited. Despite your enthusiasm, he remains focused on the gravity of the situation, unable to comprehend why you would be eager to embark on such a dangerous thing. His expression remains impassive as he processes your excitement, his mind calculating the risks ahead.

Xiao proposes, "We should leave now. It's getting late, and the monsters will soon be active." His stomach rumbles unexpectedly, causing him to visibly startle. You chuckle at the sound and quip, "Looks like someone's hungry! I am too. It's best to head out on a full stomach. I'll cook. Anything specific you'd like?" Your cheerful demeanor and offer to cook reflect your eagerness to ensure both of you are well-prepared for the upcoming journey.

Xiao scoffs, his skepticism evident, yet he's intrigued by your offer to cook. "Mm, I doubt you could make it as good... or not burn the kitchen down," he retorts, his tone laced with doubt. Despite his teasing, there's a hint of curiosity in his eyes, as if he's willing to entertain the possibility of your culinary skills.

You take in Xiao's remark, realizing that the usually serious Yaksha just made a joke. A laugh escapes you as you playfully respond, "Oh, come on, I bet I'm way better than you!" With a mischievous grin, you turn around, heading towards Yanxiao's kitchen with determination. But before you leave, you glance back at Xiao and add, "One plate of almond tofu coming up!"

Before you could turn back around, you swear you catch a glimpse of a subtle glimmer in Xiao's eyes and a faint curl of his lips as you mention almond tofu. Intrigued by his reaction, you proceed to the kitchen, with Xiao following behind. He looks puzzled as he asks, "How do you know I like that?" His curiosity piqued, he awaits your response.

You respond with a playful smirk, "Zhongli told me that's how I would get you to talk to me, but it looks like you did that already." A mischievous giggle escapes you as you revel in the light-hearted banter, enjoying the unexpected turn of events.

"Tch, of course he did," Xiao responds with a hint of resignation, taking a seat on a nearby table. Meanwhile, you take charge behind the counter, scanning the ingredients with determination as you begin to prepare the meal. With focused intent, you set about gathering everything you need to create the almond tofu, your movements efficient and purposeful.

You start by measuring out the appropriate amount of almond milk, ensuring it's smooth and creamy. Next, you carefully dissolve the agar agar powder in water, heating it gently until it forms a clear liquid.

While the agar agar mixture cools slightly, you turn your attention to the almond flavoring, adding just the right amount to enhance the tofu's delicate taste. With precision, you mix the almond milk and agar agar solution together, ensuring a smooth and even consistency.

Once combined, you pour the mixture into individual molds, allowing it to set in the refrigerator for at least an hour.

During this time, you take a moment to clean up the kitchen, your movements efficient and methodical, while also talking about everything with Xiao, you were surprised how he was way more talkative than you've ever seen him be.

As the almond tofu sets, you prepare the sweet syrup topping, blending together sugar and water in a small saucepan. With a gentle simmer, you cook the mixture until it thickens slightly, infusing it with a hint of vanilla for added flavor.

After the allotted time has passed, you carefully unmold the almond tofu, marveling at its smooth texture and delicate aroma. Placing each serving on a plate, you drizzle the sweet syrup over the top, creating a beautiful and enticing presentation.

With a wide smile and a hint of nervousness, you serve Xiao the almond tofu, carefully presenting the plate before him. You watch intently as he reaches for a piece, anticipation building as he takes a bite, awaiting his reaction with bated breath.

As Xiao takes the first bite, you observe him, his eyes immediately light up with surprise, a flicker of delight dancing across his features. A slight tint of pink colors his cheeks, betraying the unexpected pleasure he finds in the flavor. Your own smile widens at his reaction, heartened by the evident enjoyment he derives from your cooking.

You ask eagerly, "Well, what do you think?" anticipating Xiao's response with excitement.

Xiao ponders silently, impressed by the flavor. "The flavor is amazing... This might be the best one I've had yet," he reflects inwardly.

"It's alright, thank you." he says aloud, continuing to eat at a rather brisk pace, though his subdued tone belies his true feelings of appreciation for the dish.

You smile, content in the knowledge that Xiao enjoyed the almond tofu. As you make yourself a less aesthetically pleasing plate with the leftovers, you join him on the counter. Together, you eat in comfortable silence, savoring the simple pleasure of each other's company and the delicious meal you prepared.

With your stomachs full of delicious almond tofu, you and Xiao walk in silence towards your destination, your senses alert for any potential threats lurking in the shadows of Liyue. The chilly night wind brushes against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine as you navigate the darkened streets with vigilance. In the quietude of the night, the bond between you and Xiao strengthens, forged through shared experiences and a mutual determination to protect Liyue from harm.

Breaking the silence, you address Xiao,

"Hey Xiao, do you ever call someone's name too, expecting them to come?"

#genshin #genshin impact #fluff #genshin xiao #slow burn #xiao #xiao x reader #childe #fanfic #xiao x you #liyue #zhongli #lumine

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ohmtoff · 2 months

Text

Chasers and the Game for My Heart

Nick Sturniolo x Poc!OC Hogwarts AU

Summary: The first time Nick meets Kevin Thomas, the seventh-year Gryffindor chaser, it’s because the boy saves him from a bludger to the face.

Contains: fluff, most probably inaccurate hp stuff, part veela!triplets, slytherin!nick, gryffindor!oc, gryffindor!chris, hufflepuff!matt, hufflepuff!madi

WC: 5053

Disclaimer: i am not a black person. to depict the character i did research by looking at @writingwithcolor and also asked the darling @nickuniversity for help, tysm girl <3 i don’t support jk rowling and her transphobic, anti-semitic, and zionist remarks (and all others i cant remember bc honestly that woman can’t stfu)

a/n: this is for the darling anon who requested poc!oc, so sorry bby that you had to wait long😭 since this is my first time writing a black character, pls don’t hesitate to criticise me if i say anything tone deaf, innacurate, or offensive. im rlly willing to learn <3 okay hope you enjoyyy!!

——————————————————————————

The first time Nick meets Kevin Thomas, the seventh-year Gryffindor chaser, it’s because the boy saves him from a bludger to the face.

Nick is getting some reading done -hiding out- up on the Slytherin quidditch stands after leaving the library, having grown tired of the group of girls that are always trailing after him sighing and batting their eyes at him, an irritating side effect of his veela heritage. He’s deep into his Herbology book making notes, trying desperately to remember the steps and ingredients to make a Strong Invigoration Draught, that he easily ignores the Gryffindor quidditch team starting practice on the pitch. He’s re-reading a passage on Sneezewort when he hears a loud smacking sound and a ‘watch out!’

Nick looks up and freezes as a bludger comes hurling towards him at top speed. He’s always had shit reflexes, a side effect of having the athletic skills of a drowning sloth, so he can’t move or really think. His brain uselessly supplies that getting his nose broken by a stupid ball when he doesn’t even play quidditch is going to suck, and yet he does nothing but close his eyes, hold his breath, and waits for impact.

Seconds pass.

No ball slams onto his face except for the wind that blows his hair out of his face. He opens one fearful eye and instead of seeing a bludger racing towards him, he sees a giant with luminous locs tied into a ponytail on a broom in Gryffindor colors and a wooden club in his hand.

“That was a close one,” the guy says with a wide smile calmly doing small circles on his broom, like Nick’s face wasn’t almost rearranged. Nick watches as one of the boy’s teammates flies by and the guy throws the club back at him.

“You’re not a beater,” Nick blurts out, his heart is still racing, his brain latching onto unimportant nonsense.

“Nope, Chaser,” he gets in answer, the smile on the boy’s face is sunny and happy like Nick has done a neat trick by noticing. “Lucky for you I was quick enough to grab a beater’s bat and get to you, would be a shame to damage a pretty face like yours.”

Nick feels his face turn red in embarrassment and irritation, it wasn’t the first time a boy teased him about his looks. “This pretty face wouldn’t have to worry if your team was better.”

“Ooh,” the boy grins, his amusement evident and annoying Nick even further. “Slytherins and their sarcasm. That wasn’t very nice, Nick.”

The boy lands his broom down to put his feet on the stand in front of Nick, giving the brunette boy a view on how tall he really is.

Nick narrows his eyes at the boy, “You know my name?”

“Male veelas are rare, even if you’re only a quarter veela, you stand out,” he gets in return with a shrug. “I pay attention.”

The guy winks at him and Nick tells himself his heart is beating out of his chest from the near-death experience and not the boy in from of him. He pulls at his green and silver scarf up, hoping it will hide any redness on his cheeks.

Is he flirting with me?

“Oh, and you got the same face as my captain, so I kinda figured.”

“Oh,” okay that makes more sense.

“Nick!” Speaking of said captain, Chris flew quickly towards him and drops onto the stand with a loud thud. “Holy shit, you okay?”

“Maybe train your team better so I wouldn’t almost get my nose beaten in, fucking idiot.”

The brown skinned boy raised his eyebrows, vision darting between the two brothers.

“Why the fuck were you here anyway? Oh look at me, reading a book at the quidditch stands like a goddamn loser,” Chris jabs back with a mocking voice.

“Putting in work as the only one with a brain between the two of us.”

“Ooh!” The boy lets out a surprised noise then cackled, putting a fist up to his mouth to stifle it.

Both Nick and Chris turn towards the laughing boy. “Shut up, Kev,” Chris lets out with a sigh while also chuckling, making the other apologize with a grin.

Chris turns to Nick again, “Be careful next time, I don’t wanna get a howler from mom. Let’s go Kev, practice isn’t over yet.” Nick was baffled and started sputtering because why the fuck should I be the one careful? It’s your team’s fault! while “Kev” groans.

As Chris flies back onto the pitch, Nick glances towards the tall boy and realizes he hasn’t introduced himself. “You know my name but I don’t know yours, I feel at a disadvantage.”

Nick gets that sunny smile again, “Kevin Thomas, seventh year Gryffindor.”

“Well, Kevin Thomas, seventh-year Gryffindor,” Nick says standing up gathering his books, “thanks for the save.”

“No problem, Nick,” Kevin answers as he mounted his broom and flew himself off the ground with practiced ease, his lips quirking upwards. “Like I said, any damage to that face would be a tragedy.”

“Ha, ha, mock the veela,” Nick says dryly. “Funny.”

Kevin gives him another casual shrug. “Who’s joking? Your face is pretty. Trust me I have spent a lot of time staring at it. Veela or not, that’s just a fact. Later, Nick.”

Nick stares after the boy with his mouth slightly parted in shock at the boy’s comment, he feels himself go red, but as he takes the steps down he can’t help the small smile on his face.

***

It seems now that they have introduced themselves, Kevin is everywhere in the castle. Nick’s sitting with Matt and Chris at the Hufflepuff table in the great hall, munching on their breakfast while trying to ignore the stares of girls from every house table when Kevin walks by with a group of Gryffindor seventh-years.

“Morning, Nick,” Kevin says, slowing his stride when he spots Nick. “You look lovely today,” Kevin continues, still walking but body always facing Nick even when his group has already passed by. He makes a self-satisfied smile when Nick chokes on his juice. “Enjoy your breakfast.” He finally notices the two same faces looking at him with confusion, “Chris. Matt.” Both said boys nod at him and voice their own greetings.

Nick watches him stop, swallowing hard when Kevin throws him a wink over his shoulder as he sits at his table. He notices that Kevin lets his locs hang loose today, differing from when he first met him. His locs reach his shoulder with a few strands adorned with gold jewelry. Nick turns back to his brothers red-faced, his stomach doing weird flips and jumping jacks to find them staring at him hard.

“What the hell was that?” Matt asks, the first one to recover while Chris still stares at him wide-eyed. “Why is Kevin Thomas hitting on you?”

“He’s not hitting on me,” Nick argues, sounding weak even to his own ears. Chris snorts causing Nick to make a disgruntled face at him.

“Oh shit, why does Nick look grumpier than usual?” Madi asks as he comes to sit down next to him.

Nick opens his mouth to also argue that comment, but Chris beats him to the punch.

“Kevin Thomas has a crush on Nick,” he blurts out loudly and Nick cringes, stooping down when more than one person around them looks over at them.

“Chris,” he hisses. “Shut up.”

“He said you looked lovely, bro,” Matt adds in and Madi squealed.

“Oh shit, that means my own bro thinks I look lovely, ugh,” Chris pretends to hurl at that.

“Damn, Nick, you pulled Kevin Thomas!” Madi lets out a high pitched squeal again, ducking when Nick half-heartedly tries to slap the back of her head. Nick could hear a couple murmurs and whispers from around the table and he wishes he could jump from the nearest tower.

“Guys, shut the fuck up. We literally just met a few days ago, how can he be into me?” Nick grumbles.

Both Matt and Chris snort in front of him. “You’re acting as if we don’t genetically attract people,” Matt says with a nonchalant tone. Nick ignores the slight pinch on his chest at that remark.

Chris adds, “Yeah, even Madi had a crush on us.”

“That was literally when I was a first year, can you shut up!” The fourth year Hufflepuff whines while the brothers let out a roar of laughter, embarrassed remembering her silly little crush on her best friends years ago. The triplets met Madi as a third year when she was just a first year fresh out of the sorting hat. They were at the great hall chatting when a tiny and meek girl gave them love letters then ran away. The boys at first were apprehensive with her as they were with any girl who throws themselves at them, but after she got closer to them and saw their antics, which sometimes involve burping on her face and throwing food from the dining hall at each other, she knew she just loved them as friends, and the boys did too.

“Wait, you know him?” Nick questions, ignoring the ‘duh’ look Madi throws his way. “How? I get that both Chris and Matt know him because they both play Quidditch, but what about you?”

“Everyone knows him, maybe if you join us when we watch Quidditch matches once in a while, you’ll also know that he’s one of the best chasers competing now. He’s super fast,” Madi divulges while taking a bite of the roasted chicken, judging her best friend for being the hermit that he is.

Chris nods, “That’s true, I’m so lucky he’s a Gryffindor.”

“Hufflepuff is still gonna beat your ass though in the next match. With Thomas or not,” Matt says with pride and a smug smile as a beater of the Hufflepuff team, prompting them to argue and yap for the next few minutes which Nick is used to tuning out as one with no interest at all in the sport.

Madi also had no interest in hearing them banter so she turned towards Nick with a smirk, “So, how did you meet him?”

Nick explains to her the bludger incident and Kevin’s comments after he saved him. Madi listens with a concentration she reserves for when they gossip, and everytime he tells her about anything Kevin said to Nick, she’s fully convinced that the tall boy most definitely has a crush on Nick. He doesn’t want to admit it but god did it feed his delusions.

They continued eating and as the minutes tick away, conversations dwindle and students start to filter out, drawn towards their impending classes. Nick remembers that he hasn’t done his Charms homework and lets out a long quiet “Fuck”.

“I’m gonna go, I want to stop by the library before Charms. Bye guys,” Nick walks to leave the great hall, feeling a stare on him that he knows isn’t his brothers’ or any of his admirers’ but a pretty boy with deep dark eyes.

***

A part of him isn’t exactly surprised when he walks out of the library and finds Kevin leaning against a wall across from him. The Gryffindor ditched his robe so he was only wearing his white shirt and grey sweater, highlighting his broad chest.

“Hey Nick,” Kevin greets him again, pushing against the wall to stand up straight to his full height, hands tucked into his pockets.

“Kevin,” Nick acknowledges, grateful he doesn’t stammer even though his heart raced faster than any chaser known at the sight of the boy.

Kevin smiles, falling into step. “Going to Charms?” he asks. Nick nods trying not to read too much into Kevin knowing what his next class is. “I’ll walk you.”

“Don’t you have a class of your own to get to?” Nick can’t help but question, even though he’s secretly thrilled at spending a little more time with the boy.

“I have time,” Kevin answers just as easily.

“Okay.”

They walk silently towards the charms corridor on the second floor with only a few sneaky glances from both of them. As they climb the stairs, a group of fourth year Gryffindor girls walk by, giggling as they spot Nick, making him sigh. Kevin chuckles next to him and Nick shoots him an irritated look that makes him laugh even harder.

“That happens a lot?” Kevin questions moving closer to him as the girls get closer.

“More than I would like,” Nick says, ignoring one of the bolder girls, Emma, who stops on the steps and tries to give him some really awkward bedroom eyes. Nick was never one to hide his judgements so he stares back at her and cringes. Kevin takes a step even closer to him, his hand brushing against Nick’s as he does so. Startled, Nick looks up at him with wide eyes, but Kevin ignores him and instead stares at Emma until she huffs and keeps moving.

Once she’s left, Kevin doesn’t move away but continues to walk with Nick up the stairs, his hand continues to brush Nick’s and he swallows hard when in one brush Kevin hooks his pinky with his.

“There are worse things than being popular with girls,” Kevin comments like he isn’t practically holding Nick’s hand and Nick isn’t screaming in his own head.

“You would know, do you?” Nick teases back, noticing that some of the girls were looking at the taller as well. Kevin laughs at that then made an arrogant shrug.

“It is when you know it’s because of your biology,” Nick answers the previous question and in a bold attempt, moves to intertwine more of their fingers together. He lets out a small puff of breath when Kevin doesn’t pull away and he sneaks a peek at Kevin to find his gentle eyes gazing into his blue ones deeply.

“Besides,” Nick continues to brave. “Girls aren’t really my thing.”

Nick looks down to hide his blush when that gets him another tender smile.

***

Nick isn’t sure how he finds himself a few weeks later back in the library with Kevin sitting across from him.

That’s a lie, Nick and Kevin talk everyday ever since Kevin walked him to his Charms class. Small comments in the great hall turn to full blown conversations with Kevin sitting next to him and his brothers, and the taller boy walking him to class became a routine now with Kevin even holding his books for him. Next thing he knew, studying alone became study dates.

Kevin is working on his Herbology homework while Nick works on Transfiguration. At least he’s trying to work on it, Headmistress McGonagall likes to pop into her old class from time to time and Nick liked to be on his game, but he found that it was kind of difficult when there was a pretty boy in front of him who keeps knocking his feet against his.

The warm library lighting illuminates Kevin’s skin, casting a gentle glow that highlights the intricate gold jewelry intertwined with his locs. Today, his hair is done in a half-up half-down hairstyle with a few strands in the front left untied. His brows are furrowed with concentration and his hands are diligently taking notes, veins popping up more than usual. Nick undeniably loves serious Kevin.

“You’re staring,” Kevin murmurs without looking up from his book, his quill in hand. He looked at Nick from under his eyelashes, his lips quirking upwards. In the gentle flicker of the warm candlelight, Nick can see how those dark eyes ignite, the candle fire dancing on those irises.

You’re playing footsies with me, Nick wants to shoot back, but instead he shifts his foot, letting it slowly trail up Kevin’s leg and it’s Nick’s turn to grin when Kevin’s breath hitches and stares at him in surprise.

Nick gives him a challenging look that says ‘two can play this game’ and Nick watches, his face red as Kevin bites down on his plush lip to control his grin.

“So,” Kevin starts hesitantly and Nick frowns because it’s not a word he’s waiting to hear. He would much rather hear words along the lines of “hide” and “kiss”.

“Yeah?”

“Hogsmeade weekend coming up, are you going?”

Nick can feel a smile tugging at his lips as he watches Kevin fidget with his quill, getting some ink on his fingers. “I was planning on it.”

Kevin licks his lips as he looks at Nick. “Are you planning on going with anyone?”

Nick smirks at that, letting a small chuckle when Kevin narrows his eyes playfully at him. “Usually I would go with my brothers and friends, but Matt and Chris are both going with their housemates and Madi’s going with her boyfriend, soooo I’m all by myself unless somebody comes up and offers to accompany my lonely self.”

He stares back at the other calmly, grinning when Kevin lets out a huff. “You’re teasing me.”

Nick mockingly points at himself. “Me? Never.”

Kevin rolls his eyes but is smiling widely. “I don’t even know why I like you so much, you’re a brat,” Kevin says, the fondness in his voice taking any sting away from the words. Kevin sets aside his book and quill to give all his attention to Nick. “Will you go with me?”

Nick looks at Kevin for another moment, taking in the way Kevin looks at him with a hopeful expression, like the possibility of Nick wanting to spend time with him at Hogsmeade will make his day or more. Suddenly feeling shy, Nick nods.

Kevin rewards him with a beaming grin.

***

“So your mum’s a half-veela, and your dad’s a muggle-born?” Kevin asks as he and Nick walk leisurely through the chilly streets of Hogsmeade, other students walking by, coming in and out of shops. A few nod in their direction and some whisper but luckily none approach either of them, letting Nick enjoy Kevin all to himself.

“Yup. My mom’s from Portugal but she chose to go to Hogwarts instead of Beauxbatons because her family hates the French,” the other chuckles, “and thanks to her, she met this silly irish-italian bloke at school who is my dad.”

“Well, say thanks to your mum and her family for me,” Kevin says and winking. Nick honest to god giggles like a little girl at that.

“What about you? What’s your family like?” Nick asks back as he bumps into Kevin when a group of third years excited to be out of the castle rush past him. Kevin puts his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close to him and away from the crowd, his arm stays on his shoulder once the group has passed and Nick finds himself being bold and snaking his arm around Kevin’s waist. Nick looks up at the taller boy who’s sporting a small shy smile.

Kevin tilts his head, “Way less interesting than yours. Dad’s a half-blood and mum’s a full-blood. Both went to Hogwarts but never met each other here. Both came to London for work where they met then they gave birth to yours truly,” he refers to himself with a curtsy, Nick wonders whether he has ever laughed this much with anyone. “Oh, and my dad fought in the second wizarding war. He was friends with Harry Potter.”

“What?! Enough about me, that fact is already cooler than any of my family lines!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah, my dad’s pretty cool. Always grateful he survived and met my mum. If not, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Nick admits, his cheeks tinted pink.

Kevin stops walking, with his arm still around Nick, he leans in, his forehead brushing Nick’s hair. “Me too.”

Nick clears his throat when Kevin pulls away, his face burns more than ever before. “So, where are we going?”

“What are you feeling?”

Nick gives Kevin a teasing look. “Wow, you asked me out and you don’t even have a plan? So much for feeling special.”

“You’re very special,” Kevin answers honestly instead of responding to the teasing and Nick rolls his eyes but can’t stop the wide smile from taking over his face.

“How about Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop?”

Nick makes a face at the suggestion causing Kevin to laugh at him.

“Wow,” Kevin says, still chuckling, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “That’s a no.”

“That place is so tacky.”

Kevin shakes his head, “It’s supposed to be romantic, you don’t want to hold my hand over tea in a place with steamed up windows?”

“I can hold your hand right now,” Nick answers, demonstrating by doing just that. “See?”

Kevin looks down at their joined hands and then back at him, his expression pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah,” he says softly, squeezing Nick’s hand before they start walking again. “How about the Three Broomsticks then we go to Honeydukes?”

Nick nods, “Now you’re talking.”

***

After they got butterbeers at Three Broomsticks and picked up some candy at Honeydukes, Nick and Kevin walk slowly back towards the castle, this time with Nick’s arm curling around Kevin’s bicep.

Nick is sucking on a liquorice wand, while Kevin gambles with his taste buds with a bag of every flavor beans, Nick finds himself watching Kevin, giggling every time he makes a face about a new undesirable flavor.

“What was that one?”

“I think tripe,” Kevin answers wrinkling his nose at the taste playing it up to make Nick laugh again. “How’s yours?”

Nick gives the liquorice wand a lick before sucking on it some more, he smirks around the candy when he sees Kevin’s eyes drift down to his mouth, Nick stops and comes to stand in front of Kevin pulling the candy out of his mouth. “Better than yours, want a taste, get the tripe flavor out of your mouth?”

“Sure,” Kevin answers, reaching for Nick’s candy but Nick pulls it out of reach while stepping closer to the other. Going on his toes, he leans up brushing his lips against Kevin’s, once, twice, three times, his eyes open to watch Kevin’s reaction, taking in the way Kevin’s eyes widen and his breath shortens. Nick starts to pull back down when Kevin is spurted into action, his large hands come up and cradle Nick’s head, his fingers sinking into Nick’s brown hair, his lips slated over Nick’s, making a noise as he chases the sweet taste in Nick’s mouth.

Nick sighs into the kiss, his hands going to Kevin’s sides to steady himself, suddenly feeling lightheaded as Kevin takes his time with the kiss.

When Kevin pulls back, he keeps his forehead pressed against Nick’s, his nose brushing his and he smiles that same beaming smile he gave Nick the first time on the pitch. “You’re right, tastes much better.”

***

Nick is sitting with Matt and Madi again for breakfast, this time at the Gryffindor table which is buzzing with excitement for the upcoming match versus Slytherin. Chris is sitting next to them with the Gryffindor quidditch team, giving a pep talk to motivate the team and discuss strategies.

“I’m kinda offended you never watch my games but you jump to watch the first one now that you have a boyfriend,” Matt says.

Nick lets out a long groan, “Ugh, fine, I’ll watch your matches next time. Don’t expect me to enjoy it though, the supporters are barbaric.”

“You’re going to root for me, right?” Nick hears a familiar voice and turns around in his seat to find Kevin already dressed in his quidditch uniform standing behind him, his expression warm as he looks down at Nick. It’s been over a week since their date and they’ve spent every free moment together and yet Nick can’t believe this boy with his pretty smile and gentleness for him is for Nick to keep.

“Hi, Kevin!” Madi greets him loudly, interrupting Nick and Kevin’s staring. Nick watches as Kevin looks amused at his best friend and greets her back, extending his hellos to Matt who nods at him. Kevin straddles the bench Nick is sitting on, leaning in close to him.

“So,” Kevin starts, his expression teasing. “You are going to root for me, right?”

“Root for you?” Nick repeats in a mocking tone. "Against my own house? I know loyalty isn't the first trait you think of when you hear Slytherin, but I assure you we are, sorry but I'll be rooting for you to fall off your broom."

Kevin makes an exaggerated gasp at that, drawing the attention of a few students. "We’re not gonna be able to make out if I get hurt, you really want that?"

“You’re forgetting I’m a veela, I can kiss anyone.”

"None as good as me though," Kevin replies with a grin of his own, hands reaching and body leaning forward to grab a muffin.

Nick takes advantage of how close it puts Kevin to him that he leans in and presses a soft kiss against Kevin’s jaw. He smiles against the skin as Kevin brings his arm around Nick, pulling him close. He kisses him again, this time at the corner of Kevin’s mouth, enjoying the way it makes Kevin smile.

“Good luck,” he whispers against Kevin’s lips.

“Thanks, baby,” Kevin whispers, giving him a soft lingering kiss before he stands up and walks away.

Nick watches as he walks over to his teammates who are waiting for him, some hooting and hollering while Chris cringes. When he turns around he finds more than one person staring his way, but he doesn’t mind, he’s gotten used to the stares for a long time. Instead he looks back to Matt and Madi, rolling his eyes at the amused smiles they are giving him.

“You two are sickening,” Matt teases while Madi is silently screaming into the air.

***

They head for the pitch each going for their respective stands, by the time Nick has taken a seat, the teams are already on their brooms circling the pitch waiting for the whistle to be blown. As soon its blows there is loud cheering in the stands as Slytherin grabs the quaffle first, followed by hissing and booing when Kevin manages to recover the ball and heads for the hoops, the booing in the Slytherin stands gets louder as he scores, but Nick allows himself a smile at Kevin’s skill.

The game continues, each team evenly matched and always within a couple of points from each other, Nick can see the seekers searching for the golden snitch hoping to win and end the game for their team. Nick is more than ready for the game to finish. He loves his house and is proud to be Slytherin but he knows how aggressive they are about winning and now that they have realized just how good Kevin is at scoring, he’s become their focus, more than once a Slytherin player has tried to throw him off his broom and if the game drags any longer he has a feeling they are going to get their way.

Nick isn’t done thinking that when a Slytherin beater hits a bludger straight for Kevin, Nick watches in horror as Kevin who hasn’t noticed the ball headed for him gets slammed from behind.

“Kevin!” he yells, his scream drowned out from the cheers in the stands. He gasps, watching helplessly as the hit causes Kevin to slip off his broom. His heart beats loudly as Kevin manages to hold on at the last second, one hand gripping his broom as he dangles in the air. Kevin’s teammates rush to help, forming a line of defense to allow Kevin to get back on his broom. Nick holds his breath the seconds it takes Kevin to get seated again, letting it out once he’s back on safely. He watches as Chris talks to Kevin and whatever is said Kevin answers with a sharp nod, his face determined. Nick’s nerves are on edge for the rest of the game and when the Gryffindor’s seeker captures the snitch he isn’t disappointed about his team’s loss, he’s just happy that it’s over. The wide smile on Kevin’s face that he can see even from the stands doesn’t hurt either.

***

Nick is waiting outside the Gryffindor’s locker room, ignoring the looks more than one Gryffindor sends his way as they wait to celebrate with their team. A cheer goes up when the team walks out and Nick presses himself against the wall to avoid the surge, he waits but doesn’t have to wait long. Kevin spots him over the crowd and heads for him, nodding and smiling absently as his housemates congratulate him. He comes to stand in front of Nick with a smile on his face and Nick studies him, his handsome face, his kind eyes, he stands tall and beautiful.

Nick pushes himself off the wall and wraps his arms around him, his nose pressed into the crook of Kevin’s neck, he sighs as he’s enveloped in Kevin’s warmth when he returns the hug. He presses himself even closer, still letting out another happy sound that Kevin answers with a small chuckle as he runs his hands up and down Nick’s back.

“You scared the fuck out of me,” he murmurs.

“Your housemate’s fault.”

Nick pulls back to look up at Kevin’s face. “I’m hexing the fuck out of them, my brothers will help me.”

Kevin lets out an infectious laugh, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “My hero.”

“Damn straight,” Nick answers, grinning. “You’re alright, though?”

“Yeah,” Kevin answers softly. “There’s going to be a hell of a bruise on my back, but other than that I’m fine.”

“Good,” Nick lets out a relieved sigh, lifting his head in a silent request he smiles when Kevin gives him a soft kiss. “I should probably let you go, I’m sure you want to celebrate with your team.”

Kevin shakes his head, holding onto Nick. “Nope, I want to celebrate with my pretty boyfriend. What do you say we sneak into the kitchen for something sweet and then we find a quiet corner in this big castle to make out in?”

Nick grins, a laugh bubbling out of him, feeling happier than he’s ever felt. “That sounds like a plan.”

#nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfiction #nick sturniolo x oc #nick sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #madi filipowicz #sturniolo triplets imagine

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thereadingchallengechallenge · 4 months

Text

🔎 YA Under the Radar 7 🔍

I have been working on this list in the series all year 😂 it just took me that long to read a decent amount of underrated YA - but I got there in the end and I'm pretty happy with the recs on this list 🥰

there are rainbow flags next to LGBT+ rep, wheelchair symbols next to disability rep and koalas next to Australia YA simply because there's a lot of that on this particular list

so take a gander and maybe consider picking up a title or two (or ten) in 2024 to support lesser-known authors and books 😊

Take Me With You When You Go by David Levithan & Jennifer Niven 🏳️‍🌈

Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl by Brianna R Shrum & Sara Waxelbaum 🏳️‍🌈♿️

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli 🏳️‍🌈

To Break a Covenant by Alison Ames 🏳️‍🌈

It Looks Like Us by Alison Ames 🏳️‍🌈

Scout’s Honor by Lily Anderson 🏳️‍🌈

Grace Notes by Karen Comer 🐨

The Sky Blues by Robbie Couch 🏳️‍🌈

Blood Moon by Lucy Cuthew

After Dark With Roxie Clark by Brooke Lauren Davis

Blind Spot by Robyn Dennison 🐨

Melt With You by Jennifer Dugan 🏳️‍🌈

The Lake House by Sarah Beth Durst

Where You See Yourself by Claire Forrest ♿️

What We Harvest by Ann Fraistat

All Eyes On Us by Kit Frick 🏳️‍🌈

When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey 🏳️‍🌈

The Lightness of Hands by Jeff Garvin ♿️

Then Everything Happens at Once by M-E Girard 🏳️‍🌈♿️

The Buried by Melissa Grey 🏳️‍🌈

Because of You by Pip Harry 🐨

The Lost Girls by Sonia Hartl 🏳️‍🌈

Howl by Shaun David Hutchinson

The Weight of Blood by Tiffany D Jackson

Jay’s Gay Agenda by Jason June 🏳️‍🌈

Out of the Blue by Jason June 🏳️‍🌈

Riley Weaver Needs a Date to the Gaybutante Ball by Jason June 🏳️‍🌈

Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko 🏳️‍🌈

The Honeys by Ryan La Sala 🏳️‍🌈

Luck of the Titanic by Stacey Lee

It Will End Like This by Kyra Leigh

Extasia by Claire Legrand

Ryan and Avery by David Levithan 🏳️‍🌈

Starlings by Amanda Linsmeier 🏳️‍🌈

The Drowned Woods by Emily Lloyd-Jones

A Scatter of Light by Malinda Lo 🏳️‍🌈

We Didn’t Think It Through by Gary Lonesborough 🐨

Sadie Starr’s Guide to Starting Over by Miranda Luby 🐨

None Shall Sleep series by Ellie Marney 🐨

The Girls Are Never Gone by Sarah Glenn Marsh ♿️

Our Last Echoes by Kate Alice Marshall

These Fleeting Shadows by Kate Alice Marshall 🏳️‍🌈

The Narrow by Kate Alice Marshall 🏳️‍🌈

Dark and Deepest Red by Anna-Marie McLemore

Mask of Shadows duology by Linsey Miller 🏳️‍🌈

Sugar by Carly Nugent ♿️🐨

All Our Hidden Gifts trilogy by Caroline O’Donoghue 🏳️‍🌈

The Life and (Medieval) Times of Kit Sweetly by Jamie Pacton

Lucky Girl by Jamie Pacton

The Vermilion Emporium by Jamie Pacton

Accidental by Alex Richards

Some Kind of Animal by Mar Romasco-Moore

Luminous by Mara Rutherford

The Poison Season by Mara Rutherford

The Midnight Lie duology by Marie Rutkoski 🏳️‍🌈

Can’t Take That Away by Steven Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈

When You Call My Name by Tucker Shaw 🏳️‍🌈

If You Still Recognise Me by Cynthia So 🏳️‍🌈

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon ♿️

Breathe and Count Back From Ten by Natalia Sylvester ♿️

Cold by Mariko Tamaki 🏳️‍🌈

Outrun the Wind by Elizabeth Tammi 🏳️‍🌈

The Weight of a Soul by Elizabeth Tammi

Wild and Crooked by Leah Thomas ♿️

Violet Ghosts by Leah Thomas 🏳️‍🌈

The Comedienne’s Guide to Pride by Hayli Thomson 🏳️‍🌈🐨

The Siren, the Song and the Spy by Maggie Tokuda-Hall

Sweet and Bitter Magic by Adrienne Tooley 🏳️‍🌈

Sofi and the Bone Song by Adrienne Tooley 🏳️‍🌈

Nothing Sung and Nothing Spoken by Nita Tyndall 🏳️‍🌈♿️

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White 🏳️‍🌈

This Is the Way the World Ends by Jen Wilde 🏳️‍🌈♿️🐨

Where You Left Us by Rhiannon Wilde 🏳️‍🌈🐨

Two Can Play That Game by Leanne Yong🐨

Katzenjammer by Francesca Zappia

#booklr #book recs #bookblr #book recommendations #ya books #ya novels #ya fiction #trcc original #lgbt books #disabled books #loveozya

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khujoor · 10 months

Text

CH. I / LOVE ME, OR NOT.

wc . 1.3k

a/n . tired

taglist . @bloomingheartz @silvsie

"Here, it's only five coins. You bragged about being wealthy, right? You can afford it," you spoke to the middle-aged man who was flaunting off his wealth and riches to anyone he believed couldn't afford anything. Yet, his face seemed to twitch when you claimed a ribbon to only be five coins. "This is from Liyue, of course it's expensive! I came all the way here to Mondstadt for what?"

"This is over-priced! You expect me to pay for this?" He argued, refusing to pay you money as he held the ribbon tightly in his hand. "I'm associated with Prince Diluc and Prince Kaeya, so surely you can give me a discount?"

You sighed, rubbing your temple out of frustration. Who was this man, and who did he think he was? "I got all of these from Lady Ningguang, someone who works very closely to Emperor Zhongli. Doesn't that seem reasonable enough?" You would've gladly negotiated a better price. In fact, you would have sold one for three coins if he wasn't so rude.

"And?" He was obviously flustered, not expecting you to have gotten these from Lady Ningguang, one of Liyue's most important faces. "Don't you feel so foolish for selling at an unacceptable price? Most of this empire cannot afford to buy such luxurious items!" He yelled, causing other people to turn towards the two of you, whispering to their own friends.

"Just say you cannot afford it, and I'll gladly lower the price for you. Put the ribbon down if you will not pay." He scoffed, finally throwing the ribbon onto the table. "It was hardly expensive..." You mumbled, sighing once again. You turn around for a moment to look at the paper of all of your sales today, instantly boosting your mood.

"Surely you'll give me a discount?" The familiar voice spoke, causing you to turn your head to see a close friend.

"Childe!" You exclaimed, glad to see someone familiar in a land so foreign.

"That would be Duke Tartaglia to you," he teased.

"This ribbon... five coins, right? I'll give you ten," he tossed a small bag onto the table, making sure it didn't get in the way of other items. He held up the ribbon, admiring the embroidery on it. "This would be perfect for Lady Lumine, but I doubt her brother likes me."

"It's okay. If you were in such a relationship with my sister, I'd be cautious of you as well." You picked up the bag, taking a quick peek inside. "Thank you for supporting my business, my dear Duke," you spoke in a sarcastic tone, still thankful for his support. "Will you stay here with me? Perhaps we may gossip like Ayato's concubines."

"I doubt he would appreciate you referring him so casually. However, I have plenty of time to spare, so I see why not." He got under the table to be on the same side as you, sitting on the top of another. "I heard rumors the princes of Mondstadt are roaming around here. Perhaps you'll be blessed that they choose to shop here."

"What Ayato appreciates is not an important matter to me. He should've learned that the moment he became associated with me. Also, that man was claiming to be associated with the princes. Do you by any chance recognize him?"

"I am afraid I do not. He was probably a commoner, one that was just a bit more wealthy than average." He spoke with pure boredom in his voice, as if the topic was something of no interest whatsoever to him.

"When will you return to Liyue?"

"Great question," you stopped for a moment, deciding between ignoring him, giving a serious answer, or giving him a sarcastic answer. "Perhaps I will get married to a rich foreign man first, then I shall return to Liyue," you spoke in a voice that made it difficult to differentiate whether you were joking or not.

"Your plan sounds wonderful. If I cannot marry Lumine and you cannot marry a foreign man, we may get married, and I will share all of my riches to you," you almost laughed at his serious tone, amused by his response.

"Sounds lovely," you hummed, smiling.

"Excuse me? You're selling these items, correct?" A man asked you, standing with another person. Both wore cloths that practically covered their faces, making them blend in almost perfectly with thieves.

"We would like to buy this full row of ribbons," the other spoke, not allowing you to reply to their previous statement.

"Yes, I am. Are you sure? Considering each costs around five coins, and there's ten ribbon, you'd be paying fifty coins," You looked at the two, worried if they were about to steal what you had in stock.

"(Y/N).. I believe those two are the princes," Childe whispered into your ear before going back to his previous position, making you stiffen up immediately.

"Are you assuming we wouldn't be able to pay?" One of the two asked, clearly impatient.

"No, um, I just never had such a big purchase..? Most people tend to argue with me about the prices as well. Would... Would you like these packed?" You asked, watching as they nodded together. "Childe, put them neatly in those boxes for me. May I take your payment?"

"I'm a Duke. Must you be making me do such labor?" He complained but still got up to help you with the purchase. You saw how the two looked at each other when Childe mentioned being a Duke, making you worried. Thieves or princes?

"Here," one handed a bag of coins, you starting to quickly check if they paid the full amount. Fifty coins exactly. "Where did you get the ribbons? They are not from somewhere cheap, correct?"

"Of course they aren't!" You said, a bit offended, but chose not to have that tone held in your voice. "These were all gifted to me by Lady Ningguang, one of Emperor Zhongli's closest companions. I was allowed to sell all of these as my normal items were not able to be sent on time to me."

"I see," the both stayed silent other than the frequent eye contact.

"Here are all of your ribbons. Have a nice day," Childe said, handing the ribbons, all neatly folded into beautiful boxes. The two took their items away, not saying another word. "Sure, they may have been the princes, but weren't they a bit rude? No thank yous whatsoever. I'm glad we live in Liyue, under Emperor Zhongli's rule."

"Oh, please. If the Emperor was a woman, you would've tried to make her fall in love with you."

"Anyone would do the same."

____________________________

"Diluc, do you think that was Duke Tartaglia from Liyue?" Kaeya spoke, stuffing his face with food, forgetting about manners considering no one else was around.

"I doubt it. Why would he spend his time helping a merchant? They can coincidentally share the same name. Mind your manners, Kaeya. I'd prefer not to lose my appetite."

"She mentioned Lady Ningguang. She has barely any acquaintances, according to the rumors, she thinks very highly to herself," Kaeya spoke, ignoring Diluc's remarks regarding his eating habits.

"And you believed her?" Diluc scoffed. "Merchants are ones to almost never be believed. We got the ribbons for the candidates of women who will be competing to become wedded to one of us, I doubt they would care where it originated from. All they would care about is who gifted it to them, which would be us.

"But he looked exactly like the Duke, I met him on my trip to Liyue."

"Even so, it does not matter. Duchess Jean is more important to us than Duke Tartaglia," Diluc spoke in a bored tone, acting as if he couldn't care less of what Kaeya thought.

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awlumii · 2 years

Text

be still, my heart.

# — pairing: kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha, lumine, aether

# — summary: you're not really cut out for this whole "matchmaker" deal.

# — warnings: n/a

# — tags: long fic (~9k words), 3+1 format, fluff, angst, misunderstandings, hurt/comfort, (failed) matchmaking, aether & lumine are your best friends

# — notes: finally, finally, finally! i finished a commission! thank you so, so much again to the commissioner; your support means so, so much to me, especially at a time like this. i had a lot of fun writing this :D reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i really hope you all enjoy! 🥰

wanna join the tag list?

"hey! do you mind if i sit here?"

in hindsight, you should've known right away that that was a stupid question to ask. the café is far from crowded at this time of day. there's a smattering of people sitting at tables and all of them are alone, and there's still an empty table here and there. if you were going to be subtle about wanting to sit near this guy, you should have chosen, say, the empty seat behind him. but thank your lucky stars; the man is kind enough to smile back at you and gesture to the seat across from him.

alright. one foot in the door.

the guy in question is none other than kaedehara kazuha, the english major who's famous for his insightful poetry and exceptional grades. everyone loves this guy, even professors outside of his department. he's not the most social, but he's open to anyone and everyone who happens across him, and it would appear that you are a part of that as well. it's a good thing, too — if he'd secretly been an asshole, you'd have turned tail immediately. of course, that'd only make you look more suspicious than you already do, but that's besides the point.

when you say that everyone loves kazuha, you mean everyone — and that includes your best friend lumine. it just so happens that kazuha is also the object of many people's affections — the perks of being popular, you figure. it came as a real shock to you that lumine was interested in him of all people; you could've sworn she was head over heels for ayaka, the endearing political science and dance double major that she spends a lot of time with. but instead, lumine came to you out of the blue one evening gushing about kazuha.

"wait, wait, wait. are you telling me that you have a crush on him?" you closed your book to gape at lumine, who was sitting across from you with her chin propped in her hand.

lumine nodded. "yeah. what, is that weird or something?"

you raised an eyebrow. "very." you stood up and circled the table to eye her closely. lumine watched you the entire time, her eyes curious. "did you get hurt anywhere? hit your head or something?"

"oh my god, you're ridiculous." lumine pushed you away lightly. "i just think he's... dreamy..?"

"you don't sound too sure about that."

"fuck off, you know i'm not good with this sort of thing." lumine flipped you off. "but you know who is? kazuha." when you scoffed and sat back in your seat, she sighed. "would you stop being an asshole and help me out?"

you opened your book and skimmed the words. "what now? are you gonna tell me to set you up with him or something?" when lumine didn't answer for a few seconds, you froze. you looked up at her with mild horror. "ohh no. fuck no, i am not playing matchmaker. do it yourself."

lumine didn't answer you at that. you knew very well why she didn't do these things herself. you're aware of her reputation on campus; she's not exactly the most popular, but those who do know her know that she can appear rather callous at times. lumine's rough exterior made it difficult for her to branch out, which was probably why she was asking you to begin with. once it occurred to you, you groaned. "fine." you conceded. "but you're doing all the hard work."

lumine's face brightened into a smile you don't think you've ever seen her wear before. "you're the best." she reached across the table and tapped your hand. "seriously."

meanwhile, you'd already started dreading the first interaction you were supposed to have with kazuha. "yeah, yeah," you muttered. "whatever."

because at the end of the day, who are you to question lumine? she's been by your side through thick and thin ever since middle school. she's got your back and you've got hers (and her brother's). you'd do just about anything for her if she asked, no matter how ridiculous it seems. although, you think as you settle in your new seat, this is pretty fucking ridiculous. playing matchmaker is stupid, especially for a guy like kazuha, who has probably had this kind of thing happen to him before. you can only hope that that's not the case.

you pull out a notebook and a pen to start idly writing when you notice that in front of you, kazuha's closed his book. when you look up, you see that he's actually staring at you. what for? "is something wrong?" you ask. "i can move if you want me to; i didn't mean to disturb you."

kazuha shakes his head, his platinum bangs brushing over his forehead. he has a streak of crimson in his hair, you notice. it's kind of cute. in fact, now that you're really looking at him, you can really see why people are so drawn to him. he's very attractive with his kind eyes and almost serene expression. you see his lips moving then and realize that he must have been saying something for a while. shit, were you checking him out just now? did he notice? it's not until his lips stop moving that you realize that you have no idea what he just said. "i'm sorry, i, uh... really should've got some coffee before i sat down. can you say that again?" you give him an apologetic smile in hopes that it'll make him forget that you obviously weren't listening just now.

kazuha actually smiles then. it seems like he's always doing that, really. your ears start to burn; he probably thinks you're ridiculous. "that's alright." he tilts his head to the side slightly and says your name. when you raise your brows, his smile grows. "i figured my guess was correct. you're friends with lumine, aren't you?"

oh, right! duh! how did you already forget your goal? stupid pretty boy and his stupid face. "ah, yeah," you reply. "she's my roommate too, actually."

"i see." kazuha pushes his book to the side and you follow the movement. is he trying to start conversation? this wasn't exactly how you saw this playing out, but hey, that saves you the trouble of coming up with a topic. "how long have you two known each other?"

perfect. you've got him hook, line, and sinker. with lumine as the topic of conversation, you'll have him smitten with her in no time. "since middle school," you say with a smile. "she and aether moved into the house beside mine and my mother tasked me with befriending them. the rest is history, i suppose."

kazuha looks endeared. "the two of them must have been a handful, no?"

you don't miss the playfulness in his tone. yeah, you can really see why people like him. you weren't exactly supposed to get caught in his little web, but here you were, charmed by the guy anyway. at kazuha's request, you divulge a few stories about your history with lumine. you cherry pick stories that are centered around her and leave out the more embarrassing parts (which is difficult since you guys were some embarrassing kids); when this is over, she better love you for talking her up like this.

at some point, kazuha excuses himself for a moment. while you wait, you pull out your phone and text the group chat that you have with lumine and aether.

[ me ]: you owe me your soul after this, bitch

[ lulu☆]: oh my god, did you actually find and talk to him

[ lulu☆]: i didn't think you'd actually do it, help

[ me ]: you asked, didn't you? and i said i would, so

[ lulu☆]: that's not

[ lulu☆]: well..

[ lulu☆]: okay look what did you tell him

[ me ]: don't worry, i didn't embarrass you

[ me ]: ...yet

[ aefer☆]: did you tell him about the time she nearly shit herself because a cat fell out a tree on her head

[ aefer☆]: cause that's funny

[ me ]: shit u're right, i should've mentioned that

[ me ]: but no.. i had to talk her up to impress him

[ aefer☆]: i would've told him. just sayin

[ lulu☆]: i know where you live, bitch

[ aefer☆]: what a coincidence, so do i

[ me ]: okay he's coming back, later losers ♡

[ aefer☆]: make sure to tell him the story!!

you chuckle at your phone before you put it away. when you look up, kazuha is seated in front of you with two cups on the table; one looks to be coffee, while the other seems to be tea — green tea from the smell of it. you blink in surprise and open your mouth, but before you can ask, kazuha explains: "you said you needed coffee and it just so happens that i needed a pick-me-up as well." he gestures to the coffee and gently eases it towards you. "so i took the liberty of getting some for you."

you shake your head quickly. you weren't supposed to be indebted to him! "y-you really shouldn't have!"

kazuha's expression falls a little and you swear you feel your heart tug. "was that too forward of me? my apologies, i..."

fuck, you can't have him looking so downcast. you try to cover up your flustered state with a grateful smile. "no, no, i mean-- thank you, really, but you're too kind. how much was it? at least let me pay you back."

"there's no need," he says. "i got it because i wanted to. and what better need to celebrate a new friend than over a drink they enjoy?"

you blink twice. once because you're surprised he considers you a friend already, and twice because if you're not mistaken, kazuha looks... sheepish. you stare at him just a moment longer and this time it's him who breaks eye contact as he moves to sip from his tea. confused, you drink from the coffee he got for you. the second the flavor hits your tongue, you make a noise of surprise. "this is.." you mutter.

"ah." kazuha sets down his own drink. "i'm sorry, i forgot to explain. i wasn't quite sure how you took your coffee, so i guessed. it's not bad, is it?" he actually looks worried. "should i take it back for you?"

"no, no, it's not bad, it's..." it's perfect, you think. this is exactly how you order your coffee every time. how did he guess this well? your order isn't exactly standard; it would take some serious thinking to get it down to a T. "it's great," you finish your sentence. "thank you so much."

relief settles on kazuha's face. "that's good." he sets his tea aside and keeps his attention on you. "would it be too forward of me to ask if you have any more stories to share? they're quite interesting."

right. shit. you're here to play matchmaker. this is the second time you've forgotten your goal. you put your coffee to the side and launch into another story that you'd thankfully lined up in case he wanted to keep the conversation going. kazuha listens attentively; his eyes are on you the entire time and his usual smile grows wider each time you giggle when you remember something funny.

he's very easy to talk to, you think. you wouldn't mind doing this over and over. this is a win-win situation for you and lumine; she'll get a boyfriend, and you'll have a new friend.

(you won't realize it just yet, but the skip in your pulse each time kazuha laughs is far from platonic.)

ii.

it's nice to have a new addition to the group — really, it is — but does he really need to be invited everywhere?

lately, whenever you, aether, and lumine go out as a trio, kazuha ends up receiving an invite as well. sometimes he gets the invite from you, but every other time, it seems to be coming from lumine. it's a little irritating, honestly. not because kazuha is annoying, no — he's the furthest thing from it. if anything, he's the most soothing person you've ever known (amongst other things). no, what's annoying is that lumine seems to be taking charge of this whole matchmaking thing herself, which leaves you without an objective. because really, if she's gonna make sure he's around all the time, then what did she have you get involved for?

take now, for example. the four of you are in an arcade celebrating the end of midterm season, and when you entered, you decided that you'd be split into pairs — you with aether, and lumine with kazuha. you and aether complained when lumine suggested bringing kazuha along on the grounds that the two of you would be third wheeling. so she suggested splitting into groups.

for some reason, the initial pairing put you with kazuha. not like you're one to complain — you love the time you spend with him. but seeing as how you spend a couple hours every day chatting him up in that café, you think you can do without him for a few hours today. you said as much when the first pairs were decided on.

"aw, you'll hurt his feelings!" aether said with a chuckle. "don't you wanna be around your new friend for a while?"

before you spoke, you stole a peek at kazuha who looked... a little hurt. you thought you were imagining it since he was smiling along with the joke, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. regret started to claw at your throat and you tried to take it back, but kazuha spoke before you could.

"i'm more than happy to spend time with lumine," he said. "we don't spend much time together as it is."

your fingers slow to a stop on the game you're playing. do kazuha and lumine really not spend time together? that was the whole reason you spent time with him — to get him more motivated to speak to her in the first place. was he still too shy to speak to her? no, you think as you pick up the game. he wouldn't have jumped at the opportunity to be with her tonight if he was really shy. besides, shy just isn't kazuha's character; he has moments where he's a little hesitant, but he's certainly not the shy type.

then why weren't they together more often? you feel confused for a moment, but then it hits you — you've been taking up kazuha's time, not her.

there's no reason why you should be in that café for so long with kazuha. your mission was simple: get him interested in lumine, get them to hang out, and then watch the rest unfold. but instead, you've been hogging all his time, talking about topics that had nothing to do with this whole matchmaking situation to begin with.

you swear lowly when your character dies on screen. if anyone is to blame for the lack of progress being made, it's kazuha. he's the one who's always asking off-topic questions when you meet up. specifically, he would coax you into talking about yourself somehow. how he does that, you're not sure, but you hate it. he's making this difficult!

oh, your mind just can't stop running. kazuha's making everything so complicated! why did he look so dejected when he said you wanted to hang with someone else? why does he want to know so much about you? why does he smile so brightly when he sees you in passing? why isn't he sticking to lumine's side? is he even going to make a move? is that why he jumped at the chance to do so today? why didn't he do so earlier, and why in the fuck does your chest hurt right now?!

"if you hold the controls any harder, i think they're gonna break."

aether's voice suddenly appears to your left, startling you. you let go of the controls in your shock and soon after, a fluorescent red 'game over' appears on the screen. you glare at him and punch his arm. "you asshole, you made me lose the game." you hiss.

aether's lips curve into a cheeky smile. "actually, you were already losing. you kinda suck at this game."

"i don't, i just..." you sigh and look at the screen. "i was just thinking about something else."

"now are you making an excuse, or were you really distracted this whole time?" aether asks. when you struggle to come up with a response, he rests a hand on your shoulder. you don't look at him, though. you're too busy trying to figure out why your throat feels like it's closing. aether calls your name once, then twice. you still don't answer. just when you think he's given up, he drapes an arm over your shoulder and pulls you to him. "how about we go get something to drink?" he finally suggests. "it's been a while."

you look at him and for a split second notice how blurry he is. you blink a few times and it goes away. weird. you still can't really form words, so you nod and allow aether to whisk you away from your game.

once you're seated with your drink, you let your mind go off the rails. why does the thought of kazuha asking lumine out bother you so much? that's literally why you became friends with him in the first place, no? you're supposed to be relieved — once they start dating, you can wash your hands of this whole ordeal and be on your merry way. at least, that's the plan... right?

"we came out here to stop thinking," aether speaks up. "but you look like you're still studying. what're you thinking so hard about?"

you open your mouth to explain yourself but quickly shut it. you can't just tell lumine's brother that you're having second thoughts about getting her a boyfriend! best friends or not, his first priority is his sister's happiness; if you back out, you'll definitely have to face aether's wrath later. yet still, you want nothing more than to unload these confusing emotions onto aether's shoulders — you need to explain yourself or else you feel like you're going to pop.

you feel crazy. are you crazy? you think you're going crazy. and dammit, why does your throat still feel so tight?

after a few seconds pass, you decide to bite the bullet. you hate to toss aether in the middle like this, but who else are you going to tell this to? kazuha? yeah, fuck that. "it's... about kazuha." you rasp. you take a sip of your drink.

for some reason, aether sits up a bit straighter. you don't recognize the look he's giving you. maybe intrigued is the right word? "yeah?" he leans his chin in his hand. "what about him?"

"i think... i think i fucked up somewhere." you feel a little lighter now that you've gotten that out. that's the heart of the problem... you think.

"how? he's spending time with lumine, isn't he?"

"yeah, now he is. didn't you hear him earlier? he said that they didn't spend much time together."

"aaaand..?"

"what do you mean and? they're supposed to be together all the time!" you scoff. "i tell him about her like, every day, and yet they're still so stiff around each other whenever we all meet up!" a thought occurs to you, then. the four of you hung out all the time, but each time, you were in a group. "wait, do they never actually hang out outside of our outings?"

aether's frowning a little at you. surely he understands what you're talking about, right? "you think that that's weird?" he asks.

you throw your hands up in frustration. "yes, that's weird! god, why am i even doing this if he's just gonna hang out with me instead of--" you shut your mouth.

intrusive thoughts are funny little things. soft as they may be, they leave ripples in your mind. and those ripples grow bigger and bigger as they spread, reaching the far corners of your brain until they become all you can think about. yours are pretty out there: what if i tripped and fell right now? or what if i'm reading the stop signal wrong and i walk into traffic by accident? they make you reconsider your every move, make you see reality in a different light. these particular thoughts, however, send you spiraling.

what if kazuha likes me? becomes: what if i like kazuha? which eventually turns into: i do like kazuha.

"oh." you mumble. "shit."

"i feel like you just had a revelation without me, and i'm feeling very out of the loop right now." aether gestures between the two of you. "are we on the same page right now?"

"god, i hope not." you groan and push your face into your hands. this is the fucking worst. it's supposed to be the worst, anyway — for some reason, you feel the urge to smile. feelings are strange like that, huh? you realize that you have a big crush on the guy you're supposed to be setting your best friend up with and yet you want to smile — you want to take a breath of fresh air, like this is a good thing. "aether, i'm a horrible fucking person." you laugh derisively. "the fucking worst."

aether, who'd been sitting across from you this whole time, moves to sit next to you. when you finally look at him, you see that he's frowning, his face marred by confusion and worry. "as much as we like to joke about it, i can't read your mind. you need to tell me what's up."

"...promise you won't hate me?"

"why would i ever?" aether looks at you like you slapped him. dork.

you smile, but it doesn't last very long. "i just, uh... realized something."

"would you quit being suspenseful and get to the point?"

fine. you decide to let it all out. "i like kazuha, aether. there. i like him a fucking lot. he's really pretty and he's kind, he spends time with me every day, even when he's busy; he holds my hand sometimes when we talk and i swear, i feel like i can fucking fly whenever he does, and i..." you take a deep breath. "i'm a fucking moron because i'm letting down lumine. she's supposed to be with him, not me. i have to let this go."

aether's silent. you feel your throat tighten up again and immediately recognize the feeling — you want to fucking cry, dammit. you're a terrible fucking friend, and that's exactly what aether's about to say--

"you need to tell her," he says seriously. "and you need to do it now before things get worse."

that's... not the reaction you were expecting. "aren't you mad at me? i-i'm supposed to be helping out your sister but i'm--"

"falling in love." aether finishes for you. you try to deny it, but he's not hearing it. "trust me, it'll get to that point soon enough. you can't wait until then -- you have to say something. please," he implores you, "for your own good."

you want to say that you shouldn't do anything to benefit yourself, not when you've fucked up so majorly, but you hold your tongue. you really don't know what to do now. how are you supposed to look kazuha in the face after this? you were always enjoying yourself when you were around him, but now you understand that you enjoyed yourself far too much. he's supposed to be with lumine and he's--

a sudden call of your name has you snapping your head up. in front of you is none other than kazuha and lumine.

speak of the fucking devil and he will appear.

the two of them are wearing matching smiles and carrying four plushies from the prize counter. they look so... happy. all at once, you cram your raging emotions into a box and shove them into the furthest corner of your mind. that can wait -- what's important now is these two lovebirds and the rest of the evening. you ease away from aether and sit up straighter, plastering a friendly smile on your face. "did you two kids have fun?" you ask.

(beside you, aether's frown deepens.)

"i learned quite a few things while playing with lumine tonight." kazuha is the first to speak. he adjusts the two plushies in his arms and looks over to lumine. "the most important thing being that she's amazing at video games."

lumine sniffs proudly. "he's the one who didn't believe me when i said i would kick his ass at anything we tried. aether and i used to play games like these all the time when we were kids. but," she nudges kazuha's shoulder affectionately, "you put up a good fight. i respect the effort, but better luck next time."

"i'll keep that in mind." kazuha chuckles.

next time, he said. there's going to be a next time. they're going to go on a date. you giggle softly despite yourself. now's not the time. not when they look so happy. you feel aether pinch your arm, but you swat him away subtly. "that's good to hear." you say. "is there something else you guys wanna do tonight?" you hold your breath, hoping they say no.

fortunately (or unfortunately), aether cuts in. "actually, lumine, wait." he doesn't say anything else after that, but judging by lumine's expression, you wonder if they're doing that twin communication thing. you've always wondered what that's like, having another half. aether and lumine are always sharing information over everyone's heads -- sometimes, you wish they'd include you.

lumine nods after a second. they must have finished their psychic conversation. "actually, aether and i have to head back." she shrugs one shoulder. "something came up."

kazuha's brows knit with concern. "is everything alright?"

"yeah, aether has to take a shit or something. i don't know." lumine is suddenly hit in the face with a wadded up napkin while you poorly stifle a laugh. she doesn't retaliate the same way she normally would, but she does shoot aether a glare that could probably melt steel beams. "anyway," she smooths her expression over and looks straight at you. "are you two gonna be okay alone? because this is kind of urgent."

wait. shit. fuck, no, no, no! she can't leave you with kazuha! why is she trying to leave you with kazuha?!

words fail you in this moment; you open and close your mouth a few times as you struggle to find the right words. there's so much going on in your head; you could say yes and have some alone time with kazuha, but lumine is supposed to be the one having alone time with kazuha, not you! if you say no, then kazuha might look like a kicked puppy again, and you don't want to see him looking so sad, dammit! but then again, if you say yes, you could interrogate him and find out why he and lumine haven't hung out often, right? but--

"we should be fine." kazuha speaks before you can, leaving you floored. "i'll see them home when we're finished here."

well, there goes your internal conflict. it's too late to back out now. you put on a brave face and hope that neither lumine nor aether can see through it. "i'll see if i can keep that winning streak for you, lumine." you say.

kazuha chuckles quietly. "is that a challenge i hear?"

god... damn him. "it sure is." you play along and give him a grin.

all your years of friendship must have meant nothing, because lumine doesn't pick up on your silent distress signals. she and aether say quick goodbyes before turning and heading home, leaving you with kazuha. once the twins are gone, you hop to your feet. since there's no one here to save you, you may as well dive in head first. "so," you say with a sigh, "which game do you want to play first?"

rather than suggest a game, kazuha shakes his head. "we don't have to play a game if you don't want to." like always, he tilts his head to the side just a little. he's so endearing. "you don't seem like you want to play anymore. am i correct?"

"i..." you deflate a little. "yeah, you're right. i'm sorry. i don't want to bore you or anything, but i just don't have it in me anymore."

thankfully, kazuha doesn't pry. he pushes one of the plushies in your direction. you'd actually forgotten he was holding it. it's a little penguin with a frog hat on — absolutely adorable. the other penguin that he's holding has a dinosaur hat. were they a matching set?

you don't take the plushy right away, which prompts kazuha to speak. he shifts his stance a little bit and... maybe it's just the trick of the light — it is quite dark in here — but you think you can see his cheeks turning color. "this is for you," he says. in an uncharacteristic moment of shyness, he suddenly backtracks. "only if you want it, of course. i won't push it on you, but... i figured that you might like it."

you blink a few times. you kick yourself and reach out to take the penguin — it's soft to the touch and the perfect size for hugging. you hold the thing gingerly in your arms and stare at it for a moment. did he really get this for you? or did he get this for lumine? maybe she didn't want it and that's why he's giving it to you; yeah, that has to be it. but just to be sure, you look up at kazuha, hoping you're not smiling as widely as you think you are. "you really didn't have to. why're you so nice to me, huh?"

you foolishly asked that as a joke, but this time, you're absolutely sure kazuha's face starts to redden. it's hidden by the lights of the games around you, but even in this dim lighting, you know what you saw. he doesn't look too fazed by it, though. "must there be a reason?" he asks in return.

you know what? no. some things are better left unexplained. you shake your head and hug the penguin close. "thank you, kazuha." you think you're going to explode. "really. i love it."

"i'm glad," kazuha says. and boy, does he look the part. the relief on his face is palpable. for someone with such an even expression, he sure is easy to read when he's nervous. what he's nervous about, you have no idea. but he's also really fucking cute. he shifts on his feet and breaks eye contact after a beat of silence. "why don't we get you home?" he suggests. "it's probably late at night."

ah. well, there goes your excitement. he just wants to get rid of you now, huh? for someone who's not supposed to like him, you sure do have pretty intense mood swings when he's involved. you agree and the two of you head outside and start towards your home.

the walk home is slow and silent, and kazuha's walking close by your side. you'd think of something to say, but it's a very comfortable silence — with you hugging the plushie that he got for you in one arm, you don't see any reason to speak. it's not like this is abnormal, anyway; he's seen you home many times before. you hazard a glance at kazuha after a moment to find scarlet eyes already focused on you. you look away in a hurry, as does he. weird.

even weirder still, you feel kazuha's fingers knock against yours. are you two really walking that close together? you flinch away from his touch like he'd burned you. "i'm sorry." he apologizes right away.

"no, it's okay." you reassure him. to make him believe you, you put your hand back where it was. it's not until you do that you realize that that wasn't the first time your hands have touched. you soon find that that wasn't the last, either; once more, kazuha's fingers knock against yours. you don't move away this time, instead opting to knock back. you swear you can hear him chuckle when you do, but maybe you're just imagining things.

a few more seconds pass and you feel kazuha's fingers intertwining with yours, and for a second, your mind completely stops. tonight was moving so fast — first you realize that you're a goner for kazuha, then he gifts you a plushie, and then he's holding your hand? what is happening right now? and why aren't you pulling away?

you should pull away, you have to, but... you can't bring yourself to. your fingers lock with kazuha's one by one until eventually, you're completely holding his hand. he's so warm, you think. he always is. the walk home remains silent, and you and kazuha exchange playful squeezes every so often.

(to make yourself feel better, you tell yourself that this is just you training him for when he starts dating lumine. maybe that will ease your conscience.)

iii.

so you're in love with kazuha. big fucking surprise there.

you quickly realized that you were doomed from the moment you met. not that it was love at first sight, but he charmed you right away. he was the one who had you hook, line, and sinker from the very start. it doesn't help that he became a permanent addition to your friend group; you're forced to face him and your feelings just about every single day. you're reminded every day of how much of a weakling you are when it comes to him. you hold his hand, you share food with him, you sleep with the plushie he gave you, you borrow his sweaters... you're a fucking mess.

it's agonizing. you were supposed to be helping lumine and kazuha get together, but you grew too greedy and inserted yourself into a position that wasn't meant for you. you try every day to rationalize with yourself and aay that the two of you are just really close friends, but friends don't think about each other the way you think about him. even worse was that you couldn't tell lumine about it — the only person who knew of your feelings was aether, and he gave you shit about it whenever he could.

come clean, he says. stop lying to yourself, he says. to that, you have to laugh. if it were that easy to rid yourself of this situation, you would've done it months ago.

there's only one solution to this problem, and that's to avoid kazuha like the plague.

it makes sense, right? just ignore it until it goes away? because there's no other way for you to get over this. you're starting to dream about kazuha; about kissing him, about holding him in your arms, about being with him. so maybe if you see him less, the thoughts will go away.

it starts with you not going to the café anymore. when kazuha texted you and asked why you hadn't been showing up, you brushed it off with a lie, saying that you found a place with better coffee. he asked what the place was called, but you left him on read. (a very adult move.)

then, you stopped making eye contact whenever you passed by him. it was hard for a few days since you missed seeing his eyes light up whenever he saw you, but you had to be strong. you're better than this, dammit. don't think about how dejected he might look when he realizes that you're avoiding him — don't you do it!

after that, you stopped going out with the twins if kazuha was going. every time they suggest something, your first question is if he is going to be there. if the answer is yes, you make up an excuse to stay home. lumine was really fucking upset with you for bailing because of some petty argument that she thought you two had, but when she pieced it together that you weren't going to budge, she gave up trying. (man, you wish it was just some argument — disputes can be solved. not feelings.)

lastly, you straight up walked away from him if he approached you. you wouldn't just ignore his presence, of course — you're an asshole, not a monster — but if he tried to make conversation, you would cut it short and hightail it out of there.

"it's been a few weeks since we've talked." kazuha sounded so pleased when he managed to stop you one day. you didn't know why you let him catch up to you, but once he got to you, you couldn't just up and leave. so you decided to hear him out. "have you been well?"

no, you wanted to say. not in the fucking slightest. but you're grown — fake it 'till you make it, baby. you nodded and gave him your best smile. "yeah. better than usual, actually."

you watched kazuha's face fall ever so slightly. he was quick to fix his mistake; his usual smile returned to his face in an instant. if you were anyone else, you wouldn't have noticed. but you noticed. you'll always notice. "i see." he said. "that's good to hear."

because you didn't want to be subject to his quickly declining mood, you excused yourself. "i gotta run, but i'll see you some other time, okay?" you said. (like a liar.)

anyone could have seen the glimmer of hope that appeared in kazuha's eyes. "of course. be safe, please." he gave you a little wave as you took off.

after about three weeks of not seeing kazuha, you think yourself to be cured. huzzah, it worked! sure, you're still daydreaming about him, but it's not as vivid if you can't see him every day! he hasn't texted you or approached you outside in a couple days which, admittedly, stung like hell, but it's for the better. kazuha can focus on lumine without you in the way, and you can move on with your life.

you spend most of your time in the library these days. lumine's been super pissed at you lately — probably because of the whole kazuha thing, but you're not sure why she wants you to spend time with him so badly. to avoid potential conflict, you hole yourself up in here. being surrounded by books (reminds you of kazuha) makes you feel at peace; it's so quiet in here, which makes it easy to focus on work (which in turn helps you stop thinking about kazuha).

the library is empty today, save for a few people seated at the tables on the other side of the building. you're standing in front of a bookshelf skimming through a book when you suddenly hear a soft whisper of your name. thinking it's aether, you prepare a shitty excuse for why you're not home, but when you see who it is, your blood goes cold.

it's kazuha. you haven't seen him in three whole weeks.

you swallow back your apprehension as best you can. "hey, what's up?" you try to remain as casual as possible. "do you need one of the books behind me?"

kazuha's brows draw in a little. "are you asking that so you can make your escape?" his comment is a little pointed — so pointed, in fact, that you visibly wince and give yourself away. he sighs when you do. "i was hoping that i wouldn't be correct. have i done something wrong?"

that's just like him — straight to the point. you flounder for an answer. "of course not." you shake your head.

"then is it alright if i ask why you've been avoiding me?"

"what? why would i do that?" your eyes slowly drift to the side. you're not too fond of all the attention you're getting right now.

"you can never make eye contact when you're hiding something." kazuha walks closer to you, but you keep your eyes on something else. "you won't even look at me. i must have done something to cause this."

no, no, no, he's blaming himself! stop him! you force yourself to make eye contact with him, but wither under his stare. you look away again and your face starts to grow hot. "you didn't do anything, kazuha," you say honestly. "i promise. "i've just been busy, that's all."

kazuha doesn't back down. "i've heard from lumine that you've been spending time here instead of at your home. she's worried about you. she-- i'm worried about you."

"don't do that," you blurt. you're starting to breathe a little faster, you notice. "stop worrying about me. you shouldn't." kazuha starts to retort, but you cut him off with a shake of your head. you turn around and put the book back in it's place. "look, i need to go. please move."

you never wanted to be so forceful with him — so cold. but what else can you do when cornered like this? he's desperate and you can tell, but so are you. you don't want to confront your feelings anymore. you just can't. you're tired of feeling like a shitty person for being in love. this is the only way you can make it stop.

kazuha doesn't make it easy for you, though. when you try to move away, he steps closer, invading your space. "if there's something wrong, you would tell me, right?" his voice is so soft, so mellow. it's like a hug, which you could really use right about now. normally, you'd get that from kazuha, but well... you don't answer him, nor do you look at him. kazuha then takes your chin in his fingers and gently makes you face him. "would you please look at me?"

your eyes land on him and it's like the world's faded away. there's so much rolling off of him at once; unease, comfort, and suspicion all hit you at the same time, and it overwhelms you. you don't like how tender this moment feels. he's so close — too close. you can smell maple and cedar, and not because you're wearing his sweater (which you didn't realize until just now). autumnal eyes threaten to take you under and you feel your eyes start to sting. "kazuha, let go." your voice wavers and your heart throbs. "please."

you wish you could read his mind. his eyes search your face, though you're not sure what for. the seconds of silence that tick by are excruciating, but when they finally come to an end, kazuha lets you go. his hand falls to his side and he steps away with a bitter smile. "i'm sorry. i fear i may have made the problem worse."

that's putting it lightly. you step around him wordlessly, but before you can get too far, kazuha catches your hand in his, stopping you. you don't turn around. you can't.

"i miss you." kazuha speaks at a whisper, a volume so low that you shouldn't have been able to hear it. but you heard it. whenever he speaks, you listen with your entire being.

he lets you go after a few more seconds and you take the opportunity to grab what stuff you have and make a beeline for the exit. you fumble for the doorknob on the way out; your vision is too blurred by tears for you to make it out properly. you manage, and you set off towards home, where you're going to ignore lumine yet again and mope in your room.

(and as you cry to yourself that evening, you can only think of the way you saw kazuha's eyes fall to your lips as he held you in place. you think of how badly you wanted to confess everything to him and clear the air for good, but you also remember what you were tasked with. this is for the better, you tell yourself. this is for the better.)

iv.

kazuha should have never agreed to this.

honestly, what was he thinking? why did he allow lumine to play matchmaker? he has two legs and a functioning mouth; he could have walked up to you and started a conversation himself, no problem. things would have been so much easier if he had just swallowed his pride and spoken to you like a normal adult. but no, he just had to go along with this idea.

in retrospect, it seemed like a good idea. but perhaps he's been reading too many novels. meeting through a mutual friend is a lovely concept, but it would appear that it only works in fictional worlds. he'd hoped to just spend time with you through lumine, but somehow, you got the wrong idea and started trying to push him onto her, which made no sense. and not only did it not make sense, but it completely backfired — you're absolutely miserable now and so is he.

kazuha's not an idiot. he knows that you have feelings for him. and the only reason he knows is because you seemingly reciprocated when he approached you romantically. he thought he was being obvious — giving you a plushie, holding your hand, lending you his sweaters, resting his head on your shoulder during movie nights... you accepted it all. he wasn't being subtle at all, right?

so then how? how on earth did things end up like this? he asks lumine as much when they meet up a few mornings later.

"they've been ignoring me too," lumine grumbles, "you aren't special."

right, because that helps. kazuha buries his hand in his hair. "every time i try to talk to them, they manage to slip through my fingers."

lumine frowns at him. "are they actually slipping away, or are you letting them get away?" he must take too long to answer, because she tuts at him. "if this is because you don't want to overwhelm them, then you're being stupid. they're overwhelming themself with this whole... thing, okay?"

but he's too much for you, he wants to say. every time he comes around you, you look about ready to explode. you look so torn, and he hates it. he just wants you to smile at him again. "at the very least, i want to repair our friendship." he sighs. it hurts to even think about keeping you at a distance, but if that's what it takes for you to come back, then... "they cried on their way out of the library the other day."

lumine's expression falls. he's never seen her look so saddened before. "yeah, i heard."

"you heard?"

"our walls may be thick, but our doors aren't." she grimaces. "the sniffing told me all i needed to know."

there's a tense silence. neither of them know what to say because in the end, this is their fault. this whole misunderstanding and your pain? that's on them. if they want to solve this--

"you have to confess." lumine voices kazuha's thoughts out loud. "that's literally the only way this is gonna stop."

while kazuha acknowledges that she's correct, there's two ways that this could go. you would either: a) accept his confession, start dating him, get married someday, and live happily ever after, or b) turn him down and hate him for causing this whole misunderstanding, leaving the two of you to be miserable forever. either way, life as he knows it now is going to end — how it ends is purely up to you.

kazuha agrees to do so and asks lumine for your whereabouts. despite not being on talking terms for a while, she still knows where you are. (it's how we care for each other, she explains.) as he walks, he lets his head fill with thoughts of you.

unsurprisingly, you're all he's been thinking about. you're all he ever thinks about, really. he thinks about the way you tried to hide your joy when he gave you that plushie in the arcade that day; the way you flustered every time he "jokingly" kissed your hand; the way you seemed to melt into his clothes whenever you wore them; the way you seemed to read his mind whenever you couldn't help but stare at him, the way you would smile when he felt warm at having been caught staring back.

he huffs a laugh to himself. it's hilarious how after all that, you still thought that he liked lumine instead of you. honestly; you two have nearly kissed several times, and yet you think he liked someone else? your mind will never cease to amaze him, beautiful and strange as it is.

kazuha comes to a halt under a canopy of trees with bright red leaves. the change in seasons has turned the campus into a beautiful landscape; all of the usual resting spots were less inhabited by others, which made them the perfect escape for people like him. you're seated on a bench underneath those trees with your nose buried in a book and, if he squints, he thinks you're wearing his scarf. you're exactly where lumine said you would be. perfect.

deciding not to wait until his nerves get the best of him, kazuha approaches you and sits a little ways away from you on the bench. right away, he notices the way you go completely still, your shoulders visibly stiffening. he sighs internally. how should he speak in order to not scare you away? it's a miracle you haven't just up and walked off, actually.

"...why are you here, kazuha?" you ask flatly. you sound like you're holding something back. "what do you want?"

"you're not going to leave?" he asks in return.

you shake your head. "i don't see the point in running from you anymore."

so you finally admit that you were running. it'd be humorous if it didn't sting so bad. "you're going to listen to what i have to say?" he asks again for good measure. when you nod again, kazuha takes a steadying breath. he just needs to get it out there. he needs to let you know. it shouldn't be hard — it's not hard. he may as well have told you already with the way he treats you. just say it.

and say it he does. "i'm in love with you."

immediately, you rise to your feet. kazuha balls one hand into a fist as he fights the urge to pull you back down. if you want to leave, then so be it. he told you, and that's all he can do; whether or not you believe him is purely up to you. you stay standing for a while, and he can see you clenching and unclenching your fists over and over, but eventually, you sit back down. you rest your book to the side and put a hand over your eyes.

"are you alright?" kazuha dares to ask.

you laugh humorlessly. "of course not. you're not supposed to like me, kazuha. please don't do this." you start to bounce your leg rapidly. "take it back, or... or something. just don't get my hopes up."

he scoots closer to you cautiously. when you don't back away, he keeps moving until your shoulders are touching. he calls your name softly and you shake your head sharply. "stop saying my name like that. would you stop being so... so nice to me? i'm gonna get the wrong idea."

"you're not getting the wrong idea," kazuha keeps his voice low. "i'm telling you the truth. and the truth is that i'm in love with you." he rests his hand over your free hand on the bench. "is that wrong of me?"

"yes! i mean-- no? ugh, fuck you." you sniff and swipe your hand over your face. kazuha tries to get a good look at you, but you turn your head away, keeping him from doing so.

"i'm in the wrong." you finally say after a while. "i was supposed to-- you and lumine were supposed to be a thing, not-- not us. but i... fuck," you pause for a second to sniff. "i fell in love with you anyways, and i just feel like a terrible person, okay? i ignored you because i wanted to just... stop feeling like shit, i guess. i wanted to forget about you and this stupid deal that i made with lumine and--"

kazuha taps the underside of your chin twice. you take a moment to collect yourself and slowly turn to look at him. "what do you want?" you ask. it's spoken harshly, but there's no bite to your words.

"did you forget?" he asks.

"wh-- no. god, no. i could never." you give him a wry smile. "unfortunately, you're all i think about, so no. you didn't let me forget. thanks for that, by the way."

one more time, kazuha thinks. just one more. "i love you." he says.

your lashes flutter and your face warms. "i love you too, kazuha. but-- mmh--"

that's all kazuha needed to hear. he leans in and kisses you, silencing your thoughts. he hears you sigh into the kiss and you start to kiss back, but he pulls away slightly before you can. "can you say it again?" he murmurs against your lips. "one more time."

your breathing is shaky, but you speak anyways. "i love you."

kazuha kisses you again. "once more, petal. please."

"you're so greedy," you chuckle shakily. "i lov-- mmf--" kazuha kisses you again but you pull back with a laugh. "at least let me finish my sentence--"

"no." kazuha drinks in your laugh when he kisses you this time, his skin singing at the contact. he's wanted to this for so long -- wanted to kiss you silly and hear you laugh. you're all he's wanted this whole time, and he's not going to pass up this opportunity to let you know. each time you try to speak, kazuha kisses you to shut you up. and each time, it makes you smile wider. you kiss until you can't anymore — you're both smiling much too wide.

"do you still think you're not supposed to be with me?" he asks cheekily.

your face doesn't fall at his question. that spark that your eyes held a few weeks prior is back and brighter than before. you look renewed — you're glowing. while basking in your glow, kazuha wonders if he is, too. you lean in and kiss him quick, resting your forehead on his when you pull away. "don't ask stupid questions." you chuckle. "i said i loved you, didn't i?"

kazuha hums. "and i said the same. so what now?"

"i dunno." you sigh and lean away. "we tell lumine, i guess?"

he squeezes your hand. "about us?"

you nod. "about us."

(when you get home and tell her later, she yells: "fucking finally!" and pulls you in for a hug.)

✦ *bows* and that's what i call a job well done.

✦ seriously, i hope you guys liked it 🥰

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #[ ✍️🏽 — scribbles! ]

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