#i am still in love w this podcast. good content | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegraveyardjohnsongrey · 1 year

Text

February 2021

March: Wedding/Break from LSAT Month ☺️

*** Don’t forget to book a trip or flight by March! - (I think it was from Spirit ???)

Get to your AFTER LSAT LISTT

March: Pour it back into yourself

“Where am I positioning myself to be the most loved? And to feel the most loved?”

Future Shows Jane the Virgin

I AM A G BIG ???????! (March 2021)

Began my month fresh from Long’s bachelor weekend. Talk about new experiences and spiritual breakthroughs! lol #shoutout to Major Lazers set from Tomorrowland 2021 #PHEW

PDP NATIONAL DILEMMA; even tho it’s kinda jarring and very bleak when it comes to the fraternity’s future, I’m happy that there’s at least a national consciousness about it, but more importantly I also love seeing the brother unity and seeing older Bros stepping up to help and esp the actives

Lol Harvey Dang my future G? (LOL jk) - but 👀

WANDAVISSSIIIOOOOOOON - ish is GOOD lmao

- Spent it majorly Preparing the LSAT and all of the mental hurtles that entails

Super Bowl Champs LV!!!!!!!!! (S text)

Officially named APABA-TB’s Student Liaison! Induction to come in March

Caden’s

Family meeting Liana for the first time! And Caden meeting Liana for the first time!

Podcasts being a thing this month and how much I’d like to improve my speech and overall expression hah

AFTER LSAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO:

Stations of the Cross every Friday?

Weekly adoration?

Pre Law App Prep!!! (Can still be done regardless of whatever I score)

Wandavision!!!!!

Working out!

Wedding prep!

*** Don’t forget to book a trip or flight by March! - (I think it was from Spirit ???)

** Also DONT forget your pre-law list you made during the trip - Senior Center Intiatives

helping draft living wills and powers of attorney

Email to The Nurse Lawyer, P.A. - volunteer filing?

Sherri (?) *lol yike

Email Fr Bill about After Life Planning

Follow up with ACLU?

Soul-Work Goals for March 2021

New hair care routine !!!!!! (Curly??)

Invest into heavier Chest, shoulder, & thigh, workouts; continue working on abs/core

I want to envision my birthday text as the last thing I will do to close this very long and overdue chapter

I don’t wanna seek out hs IG story and I don’t wanna train my mind to keep looking for S to make me excited or happy or content. That was 2019/2020 me. Issa time for me to be excited at myself and all the things that will be working for me - whether I’ll feel it in the moment or not

Things I look forward to:

One day, being free of the LSAT and moving into actual lsat school applications

A potential snowboarding trip w TEAM NANA

ANOTHER RAVE W TEAM NANA!

Raving w my littles

A fun day with CAM

Catch-ups with Lady & Shawntel

Ates wedding !!!!!!!!

FOCUSING ON HEALTH AND FITNESS AND PUTTING WORKOUT AT THE FOREFRONT OF MY FOCUS AND FUN AGAIN

My APABA induction!!!

Watch Bling Empire

Healthy Habits:

texting V more as a friend and a Bud and having faith in that behavior and mentality

2.1.21

+ Was a little disappointed this morning when I saw that S didn’t respond to my messages in 75. But: as always, I welcome it. Bc the more moments I have that are like these, I am more and more humbled, and the more I’m reminded that God is in control and that He is the one that provides what is meant for me.

+ Texts with Harvey; feeling all kinds of special again (LMAO) Bc I’m helping someone who was in my similar position not too far ago. Tbh it was giving me hella “big” vibes again. And idk it was just nice to have a genuine and cool convo with a potential again

+ Texts with Little about Harvey: LOL he thought at first I was gonna pick up Harvey. He always brings up the Paddle thing and even tho we always laugh about it, I hope he doesn’t feel THAT bad it. lol.

+ Ft w Calvin, IG messages with Thomas

+ FT w Ate Ayen Kuya Ansel and the girls! 🥺 theyre getting so big! It was so nice just saying hi and getting to catch up. And being reminded that it’s never too hard to stay in contact with family!

+ IG messages with Arlyn - lol “most popular friend” comment. Sigh

+ Future Pilates with Kelly & Reena?

2.2.21

2.3.21

+ “Most well-respected bros” groupchat LMFAO

+ Cant believe the Taus never gave their gift cards to the homeless

+ trollolol with bob & Tony

+ playing responded to younger bros; reaching out to Sigmas

+ Omg my first major project for APABATB I’m scared but also excited - induction is officially on March 18th!

+ Getting doe games practice in at night

+ Texting little; about active life and old fun stuff like strolling; gives me that that young “excitement” again :’) #bittersweet

2.4.21

You have to take ownership over the narrative that plays in your own thoughts. Do you tell yourself, “will I ever find love” or do you tell yourself “I am so filled with love in my life”. Do you tell yourself “I’m missing out on something” or do you tell yourself “something amazing is set out just for me. And I’m not focused on that rn”. Where do you replay harmful thoughts, where do you recycle experiences. Because if you keep doing that, you’re bound to find heartbreak in your own thoughts. And your thoughts should be the safest and most comfortable place there is

ah, shame. Shame will always keep you from God. But God doesn’t want your perfection. He wants your heart, He wants your effort, and He wants your intention. Isn’t that what you always wanted from someone if you found them?

Offer God what it is you desire. And maybe in this season- it’s all about offering God your intent.

I guess I didn’t wanna try Bc I didn’t wanna he disappointed in Him or I didn’t want to perceive it as disappointment; and i knew that If I were disappointed, I would fall into this mentality of “well this was a waste of time, we shouldn’t have done this. I wouldn’t be in this pain if I didn’t start this”

And now I see l, that that is how I react to everything that brings me disappointment or pain. The fact that it brought about discomfort invalidates it’s existence. I think what it is is that you want every moment of this journey to be “fitting” and “profound” and “beautiful” and “perfect” Bc it fell into place. But you can’t create that narrative. Life IS messy, it IS disorganized, it IS unexpected. And the best you can do is to endure & uplift.

How we react to pain and to joy has everythig to do with how we interact with our God.

“If You won’t give me comfort, I’ll give myself that”

If you could remember how proud God is if you. - for the past year, you’ve lived in this constant mental cycle of disappointment. With S, with NALA. And in each disappointment, it brought about a sense of disappointment and doubt

“Maybe if we didn’t do this, we wouldn’t be here”

“Maybe if we didn’t like that, we would the here”

But hating yourself is never the lesson God wants to bring about in your heart.

And I feel that. He wants to bring about a renewed message of love for You.

And no one can tell you those things, no one can affirm you, because no one knows. You’re forced into this corner, where you are left to tell yourself, “deal with it.” And “deal with it graciously”

But that’s bit the reality of what we are as humans. We are designed to rely on God. We are designed to rely on a greater source.

2.4.21

highkey freaking out about my LSAT-Flex practice run tomorrow. I know that being fearful is counter productive. And that that fear won’t actually help me tomorrow I think I just weigh so much into this Bc I know that... it’s from this I will know if I’ll be ready to take it in two weeks.

I’m afraid of burning and crashing. I’m afraid of being so down on myself that I fall into a phase of depression and hopelessness again. Im afraid that all my time working and thinking and studying and SACRIFICING will amount to nothing that I’d hoped for.

I’m afraid of disappointing my family. And being an embarrassment to my friends.

I’m afraid that I’ll have nothing for myself.

But when fear has become too much, I must remember

This is just a test.

It’s just another helping me get to where I want to be.

It has no power over my life, my talents, nor where God dreams of me to be.

It is just another step.

If I do badly, I will assess. If it’s that concerning, I will re-schedule.

There is no limit to what I can do from here..

Although I feel uncomfortable, although I am fearful, and although I am pitted against so many impossible and compromising obstacles.

I will be ok either way.

Lbr: when people are gonna look back on your life, they’re not gonna remember how well you did on the LSAT. Nor will they even probably remember if you were a lawyer.

They are going to remember you by the way you lived and the way you loved.

And that is what brings your calling value. I always have doubts about whether or not God wants me to be a lawyer.

I always have doubts about whether He even WANTS to help me be a lawyer.

But I know that my time isn’t for nothing. And I know that 2018 up until now was not for nothing.

Everything I’ve been through and learned though is going to help me for tomorrow and everyday after.

So for now, I’ve gotta see where I am. And I’ve gotta do it earnestly and realistically.

My true abilities won’t show up until the real pressure is on and I fight for it. I’m gonna stick to my guns. Know my strategy, and have faith in what I already know.

That’s all I can do. And to know that whether or not I’m satisfied with the result- I’ll still arrive on the other side stronger and more durable than ever.

2.5.21

+ 152 on my practice LSAT!!! (LITERALLY do exactly you did today. If I got just TWO more right on each section I could’ve gotten a 156 raw score!)

+ The amount of Convos I’ve had with people today. Via phone call, FT, text, DM, etc

+ WandaVision Convos w people: Joe, Khoi, Jonessa, BJ, Little, AC, Anthony, Amy, s, etc

+ Superviwo Experience w Longlee

+ FT w Ate Lace, T Daisy T Cris, etc

+ FT w Tony Mai

+ Texts with Little

+ Ft w Gkuya Kevin

+ Having so many different conversations with so many different friends and people in my life today

+ “and that’s why” —- s lack of response to what I had to say. Boy bye lol #CarryingOn

2.6.21

+ “I love you back fat”

Would I like to improve it and tighten it up? Yes sure of course. But that’s a goal and an activity fit another day. I’m just channeling energy elsewhere at the moment.

By doing that, by picking yourself apart, you are literally instilling upon yourself conditional love. Youre literally saying, “ya know I couuuuuuld love you. I coouuuuuld give you utmost affection, except we’re it bot for this one thing about me. Youre not giving yourself the permission to love yourself fully and to show yourself the highest affection you can

+ “You really can’t force a M to be something HS not, and most importantly, you can’t force Hm to be something that only you will accept. otherwise you wouldn’t be accepting what/who H has to offer. You’d just be waiting on and accepting this version of a M that you created. And that you forced to be there” and even IF in the rare chance H changes and somehow confers to what you want, you have to assess. Is this projection going to last? Does H intend to? Why?

2.7.21

Gurl I think I am good with playing Marvel consultant for people hahaha I’ve talked about it so much !!

St Paul’s Family Room is a bop; seeing the families with kids and siblings play fight and laugh with each other makes me :’)

Feelings of loneliness still the biggest thing that weighs on my heart. That feeling of being foreign in your own church and wanting so desperately to make things work, but

Imagining myself as a priest, and recognizing how joyful I’d be exercising all of the gifts that I feel God gave me. but also can’t help but feel like I wouldn’t have at least a minimum control over my life anymore; and thinking - logistically if I’d be happy. My greatest fear would be that I’d spend the rest orbit days- yes serving the Lord - but also convincing myself that I’m happy.

“Maybe you have the power to forge your trauma”

“Dont you think youd also be filled with endless hope and light and satisfaction with the work you’d be doing?” - maybe I’m just looking at that life in lenses of what I see life to be now

“Maybe this is where He wants you to be”

2.8.21

+ We think that if we have faith in ourselves, it is somehow in opposition or contrary the Father, but what if it were the same?

What if believing in your ability, and your talent, and sacrifices is EXACTLY what God is trying to help you to? What if they are the same?

+ Pre-Test Jitters Affirmation:

I am more than a score

I am better than I think I am

My fear does not own me. I own me. God owns me. I have control.

The LSAT does not define my worth. It will not make or break where I am destined to be

I have scored higher than I thought I would and I have scored lower than I thought would. Both times, I was ok. And on the right path.

People have gotten into law school with 145.

I can always take it again.

Legends Only List

(Moments of Amazing Memory provided by the Lord)

Opening National SFC Conference with Performance & Monologue

Screaming crowd full of family & friends at PDP probate

“I can only Imagine” on piano at ICS Mass

2.9.21

if something else is sufficient, then that one thing you formerly had is not necessary

And maybe that’s the reason why I hold it so heavily and obsessively. Is because… there’s not many things I do want. And the things I do want outside of this, I feel that I can’t ever have. And its frustrating because I don’t know what Im supposed to want then, and im afraid that what ill get is less than what I want. does that make sense? probably not. lol.

I feel that Im usually never the one to be … demanding of this or that in life. I am very genuinely ok with things. But now im mad. Bc I feel that life has made me this way. Its made me this hard, and cynical, and less optimistic version of me. Im on high-alert all the time for something that I doubt is even for me. And I don’t like it as much.

Shower Affirmations:

The fun will come back again. There is going to be a day when you fully and freely enjoy yourself, and laugh loudly with friends, and have those butterflies in your stomach- because you know its going to be a good day. And when that time comes, you are going to be so glad that you spent your time doing wise things. If you need a reminder that you did stuff that mattered in your quarantine era: look to your relationship with APABA-TB - you’re a full-fledged member and you’re not even in law school yet. Look to the fact that you have earned 4.0 GPA in your paralegal program - to show for how much you’ve grown since undergrad. Look to the fact that you have increased your LSAT Practice test score by almost 10 point since 2019! Look at how much bros and your little and your friends and your family love you and celebrate you and support you! You are in such good hands, and you are cared for and loved and seen and heard. Not being in law school will ever take those things away. I know you’re stressed. I know you’re caught in this weird whirlwind of feeling like you’re doing endless LSAT Practice and seeing that you’re not good enough - but you could be if you just had more time and if this didn’t happen and the didn’t happen—— I know that you wish for older and simpler and more fun times just to be able to escape from the endless dump coming down on you as of late. lol. But trust me, better days are coming. And when they come, it is not your place to tell yourself whether you deserve them or not. Because if you have been doing what you have been called to do - this whole time - and if you have been carrying yourself in a light that should have always been there, then you are meant to be where you are. As you are. Loved, celebrated, heard, wanted, rooted for - and still growing.

Maybe God wanted to put you on pause, because he wanted you to garner the things you needed via LSAT testing before ever dipping into a law class room, or by His will, a courtroom. Do not doubt the setting and pacing you are on. You only become upset when you start comparing your road t others and start projecting others’ expectations and opinions onto yourself. You got enough to carry, don’t be carrying his/hers too. lol. So when it comes to your road and your path, Trust it. Believe it. And move forward as courageously and gracefully as you can.

+ “it’s a shame that you don’t get to be part of that”

I have something great coming for me

2.10.21 + You put it in your mind, “then what for?” You tried your best and that’s all you can do. That’s what matters. If you don’t get it, then its ok. If He gives it to you, He gives it to you

^^ I think that was what I needed to hear most - in order to feel better about everything. In order to actually pursue this.

+ kinda sucks when you feel like you wanna check up on somebody, but in reality they probably don’t wanna hear from you lol

— DIDNT EVEN RESPOND TO YOUUUUU IN 75 GM AFTER LONGE BACHELOR LMFAO LIKE WE ARE FORGETTINGGGGGGGGGG hahahaha

+ “Conditioning yourself to like discomfort and to thrive in it, and to see it as growth.” Trusting in that process of being refined

+ “If you allow yourself to be run over by constant (social) insecurity- so much that you never put yourself out there and don’t put effort into any relationships, you won’t have any. And having bad ones and learning to involve or not involve yourself w certain people is WAY better gan not having any at all. Not growing at all, not knowing at all.

Realizing from this that I do not want to be like TCris in that sense; there being a difference between how someone like Tita Cris responds and Tita last responds

realizing this month that the experience of having a destiny of potential unrequited love is something I uniquely share with the lord

“Of course you can be mad. But what good what that do you?”

+ Watching Glee compilation videos (dont ask me why) - and remembering all of the things that loved and thought about in my high school years- being in the youth, OUAT, GLEE, PLL, ... QIRL haha

And now it’s so different. I’m thinking about law schools! Are Cherry had a kid. Ate Lee Anne is getting married !!!!! I feel like these are all statements and realities that felt so far off into the distant future, but they’re literally now. And it’s crazy

It’s exciting and amazing - Bc you realize how fast the future can come- and that things that seemed to be so distant are now .. reality. And I don’t wanna be so .. enveloped and lost in the fact that time is passing that I lose what’s around me now.

I still think it’s really weird how 2019 is actually more than a year away bowA and like I STILL crave fir it back already! lol

(Like seriously 2019 was such a slept on year and I did NOT fully appreciate it until it was over and far away)

Tbh, at this moment I’ll doubt that that’s how I’ll eventually feel toward 2020, but you never know! (We will always have our paralegal program, Caden days, and our body ody transformation from 2020 hahaha)

2021, I know it’s only been 2 months in. But I really do beg of you,

Please bring me something good 😩

2.11.21

+ I am allowed to be happy and to enjoy things before I’ve reached my next major goal.

I think the lie that I’ve subconsciously told myself and fed into is that I’m not allowed to be happy .. until I’ve accomplished that one thing.. I’m not allowed to be spontaneous or indulge. Until this one big thing is done and out of the way. And I just don’t think it’s healthy to have that mentality anymore

I think it is healthy to have some kind of fire and motivation to be working on a project or a major goal something, but I also think it’s important to step away from it and to have enough faith in your self and in your routine in order to grant yourself proper rest. And spontaneity where necessary

“I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than heartbreakingly disappointed”

2.12.21

I GOT A 154 ON MY PRACTICE LSAT FLEXXXX

I know I can’t celebrate ALL the way yet - just Bc it’s a practice test and it’s not 100% indicative of the REAL test day. But I’m so happy with this score and I hope it stays again for the actual day-of😭😭😭😭

It’s really funny Bc I felt like ABSOLUTE SHT when I took it. I was stressed, I felt “off”, and I could feel the time ticking away. But I think what helped me was knowing my strategies and knowing how best to increment my time. I’m so effing happy and relieve Dude 😭😭😭😭

Again, I can’t count any eggs before they hatch, but it’s def giving me a tiny tiny sense of relief and hope for next Saturday. And I can enjoy WandaVision and have a great Friday break !!!!!!

I think I’m gonna take a day or two (today & Sat) away from hardcore drilling.. if anything maybe I’ll read over, but nothing crazy- kinda want to give my a brain a day or two to recover and hopefully bounce back stronger

Feeling more confident in terms of the range I *could score in

+ Learning a lesson of sacrificing smaller things for the greater/overall return

(Learning that in LSAT, I just couldn’t seem to cut that threshold. The time that I have - sometimes you just can’t have it all. And that’s ok. What’s powerful is working with what you know and re-orienting *yourself and turning it into something beneficial and far greater than what you initially had)

Law is most concerned with preserving order than it is with morality. I think the law upholds morality, but only as a byproduct of its primary focus- which is to preserve mass (societal) order.

2.14.21 - Valentines Day 2k21!!!

+ Family Room @ St. Paul’s with the family

+ Family’s officially meeting Liana today at the house

+ That iced caramel macchiato with oat milk from Dunkin was BOMB (planning to drink the rest tomorrow)

Happy Valentines Day JUDY!!!!!!!

+ for some reason I got teary eyed today at Mass when I saw the image of Ate holding Caden with the crucifix in the background???? And I ??? Couldn’t contain my mini heart attack of fleeting emotions?? Lol

I feel like there used to be a time when I would put so much expectation into Valentines Day- and what it could do for me. I feel like I built this romantic and near-perfect-day of what the holiday should look like- and that it whatever happened that day would affirm me of someone else who had feelings for me.

It used to be this teenage “magical” expectation of what 24 hours should look like. It was very 15 year old me and I blame the 2011 movie “Valentines Day” for it. Lmao

But honestly, over time, I’ve pretty much learned to treat this day like any other. And to recognize that I don’t need the “magical fluff” that one might expect from such a big deal of a holiday. haha.

I think that the center of Valentines Day is recognizing the presence of love in your life. And recognizing that your heart has been blessed enough to carry so much of it— that is the true beauty of what this very special day entails. I think before I used to let it make me feel bad, and I used to allow it to lead me into places where all I could focus on were the what-ifs and the what-should-have-beens in my life. And how much I haven’t had any of that. But now I realize more than ever that THATS ultimately a waste of time. lmao. And although things like that bring me perspective and inspiration —— it does nothing for me beyond that. Sometimes, we are allowed to outgrow our past selves and the expectations that were alive with them. I know now, more than ever, that I can’t rely on romance to help me do what I’m called to do in this world. Its a hard reality to face sometimes, and one that often leaves me joyless. And that I’ll always feel like I’ve missed out on something. But I also know that God has blessed me with a capability to do just that.

I want to continue being unashamedly there for myself.

I wanna support me. I wanna console me. I want to nourish me. I want to be vulnerable with myself. And I want to be a positive and strong person to rely on for myself.

To inspire myself, to encourage myself, to impress myself, to be proud of myself, to teach myself, to forgive myself, and to learn from myself. I know what I like and I know my own love languages. I know what makes my heart break. And I know what makes me love life more than anything. So I’ll continue to take care of those parts of myself. For only I am in a position to do that for me.

And nobody else is deserving of that place but me.

Im affirmed in my prayer to Santo Nino from this morning. That I have no need to search for additional love in my life. For I have all that I need in my journey thus far- and because God provides what I need at any time.

S: I guess where Im at rn is that I can’t get over how you used to text me and initiate convo with me. It might not have been the best convos for my tastes (substance-wise), but you still messaged me. On IG, through text, etc.

You always made the first effort. and I guess I miss that. I guess its also my low-key amnesia (bc I always seem to forget that it was me who always wanted to pursue more, but you never did. Which is why eventually I stopped responding so promptly or showing any kind f energy back. And why it ultimately didn’t get anywhere beyond texts).

I guess where Im at rn is that I’m in the part of the cycle where… im far removed from anything recent having happened and I’ve forgotten how much pain u did me. lol. So whether its a conscious decision to “test” my strength or a subconscious last ditch effort to have your react, is still do it.

It doesnt make sense, but I do it. at least I admit to it?

Anyway, hopefully the bday text will be the last of it.

Still don’t get why you texted me the few days after New Years.

Why it’s still so hard to let go

1.) because I often feel that - ... because I feel that I put so much effort into being a good “Christian” or Catholic. That I try to be so hard to be a peace maker and justice seeker. A sacrifice maker.. That i deserve the thing I want in return.

That I should be free to pursue what my heart wants without it feeling like it competes with the interets of the Lord.

That I am valid and deserving of my own wants.

I often play it in my head that “if I’m so good, and God wishes good for me” how does it make sense that what I want has no place in it?

It’s a very strange and helpless and often painful conversation to always have. And so I guess maybe a new resolution to have in my 2021 set, is to find a source of knowledge and support in finding my answers to this question.

And preferably one that is Catholic - since I guess i would want to understand first through the eyes and heart’s understanding of a Catholic.

.) because I always thought I had pretty good intuition. About people, about situations. And I guess facing the reality of what is (as saddening as it can be) reminds me that I’m not so in control. And that I do not actually have an accurate l sense of everything like I’d like to believe.

I am reminded of my own infallibility. And I think that’s a discomfort I am almost always willing to forego.

****Log off IG until after LSAT ????

avoid S until bday

It was. And it was remarkable and beautiful and special.

But it no longer has fruit for you in the way it once did in 2019z

S affirmations:

Sometimes, people just don’t work out. And that’s ok. It doesn’t mean it was anyone’s fault and it doesn’t mean anyone necessarily changed. It’s a blessing to eventually find that it will bit work out. And it’s even better to find out early on instead of 2 years in

The thing that made you special in their eyes isn’t gone. And it’s not their interest in you that validated who you are. You attract what you are meant to; and those things stay for however long they are meant to

You are not your enemy; and you can be your greatest human companion

“But we’re not that. And my mistake was that I voluntarily placing things into your hands that you were never meant to hold.”

2.15.21

Ive kinda neglected self-improvement hobbies and videos for right now- just because im so focused in on LSAT prep at the moment. I feel like the past week and a half has reminded me that .. there is life too live outside the LSAT? lmao. And that I’ve almost forgotten what its like to not experience dread via the LSAT lmao. I seriously can’t wait to return to all of my hobbies and all of my friends when all this is over. (Even if I end up scoring a number I like and still end up taking again, ill take victory in knowing that I’m allowed to have fun while working toward a goal, and that I do feel like I’ve improved since 2019).

But I also know that I don’t want that mentality to jinx me or make me lax. So until the test on Saturday. Its game time, and I’m just trying to place myself in the healthiest and most fruitful position I can to make me stronger for this weekend.

Right now im just trying to surround myself in positive energy and healthy affirmations! At this point, I have to believe that all of my time studying and prioritizing this thang will pay off. And I’m happy to be affirmed by the results I’ve been seeing. February 20th is coming, whether I’d like it to or not. And so really im just choosing to believe that God will make out of it what He’d like.

Im very nervous, but I also know that panicking is not going to help me on the test day. And I’m reminding myself that - by God’s graces - I’ve still surprised myself with how well I can actually do. And that even at my worst performances on practice runs- I’ve still been able to perform at a level that I am pleasantly surprised at. 15 LR

2 Perfect Games

2 Perfect Readings. I can do this.

2.16.21

Affirmations about relationships from the ridiculousness of Married at First Sight and how I see myself in those situations

“Sometimes, he’s just not that interested. And it comes down to that. And for some reason or another the use just doesn’t or can’t explain. But bottom line is, he isn’t in for the long-run. And that’s just not what the ladies are looking for.”

You have to identify where you might be in the way. And you have to have faith that S journey, is going to be okay without you in it. You have to have faith that this is God’s desire. And that s is meant to go places you are hot. And vice versa for you and where you’re going.

It’s ok.

You don’t need to fight it. You don’t need to challenge it, and you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You, right here, in the now, are where you are meant to be. And everything meant for you Is still On its way to you.

2.16.21

Affirmation of not being w S:

I can’t predict the kind of person you’ll be in 5 years, let alone one year. And so... I think it’s only right that I do expect the person I’m to be with

Bc how else could I ever expect you to understand how to love me, if you don’t know what unconditional love is, and if you don’t recognize it between you and God first?

I’m someone who is not very confident in speaking on the fly, but I do love to write all my thoughts down and present them in a legible and digestible manner. I think that’s why I want to be a lawyer so much.. is because lawyers prepare what they are going to say.

2.17.21

+ “Take from Me instead of from your vices”

+ I’m I love my winged eye liner shaped eyes; my almond eyes

+ Bible study !!!!! “I pray for Judsy to be a priest every day”

talking to all of them at once really made my heart feel lighter and more at peace; like I could just laugh and enjoy being myself again. Sometimes that isnt such a common occurrence these days in a pandemic haha

Also beginning to appreciate more fully the variety of my friendships and to see how thankful I am of where God has brought me and all of the people Gods blessed me with in my life

+ 2 Hour catchup with Arlyn, Lady, and Ate Lace was super good for my soul

+ LETS DOOOO THIS LSAT THING

2.18.21

Trying to root myself in the Lord rather than my own disappointments - those darn workers at Lee Davis turning me away Bc I got there at 3:58pm :(

Driving around tampa as a result, getting to see the city in a 180 degree in and out tour LOL —> water bottle to the homeless guy. And I don’t know if I expected him to be displeased or rude or even ungrateful (Bc I’ve had my own share of that in the past) - he simply smiled and said yes thank you so much god bless. And it had me feel a type of way. It made me feel really emotional Bc ... it was just a water bottle. And I knowing that I had so many to go home to, and that me not having that one bottle wasn’t going to do anything to me. And I knew that I could have given more, but I just wasn’t prepared to.

“Interesting timing” - vlog about the girl who got into law school with a 142, having hope in your wholistic application and knowing that you are FAR more than your LSAT score; the “single ladies” remix playing; Harvey text; S text

2.21.21

I didn’t think it would take so much to convince me that Ya didn’t care. But here I am :) :(

omg my eyebrows (natural)

“Maybe God HAS given me everything I’ve wanted”

Love that parish and how beautiful it was inside and how beautiful it was indoors

I love my neck when I look up in pics now omg

Prayed for my heart and for myself to love and desire Gof above all else; no matter what I seee

2.21.21

It’s sometimes a hard place -when you hav to be your own best advocate and also your best friend. Bc sometimes those two things feel contrary sometimes

Sometimes your role is to differentiate between this fictional image of a person you formed in your head- who you’ve grown to have a very real and very fond affection for a and the actual person who lives and exists in the real world. And it’s our responsibility to not mix the two.

“It’s a strange feeling when you spend so much time wishing for something - and then for it to end”

I don’t wanna make myself feel bad. “I don’t wanna make you feel bad anymore”

2.22.21

Disappointment is not going to happen once in my life. It’s going to come many times and in many different ways. And I’m when they come, I can’t treat every time

People telling me what I should feel the best way that God honors me is by giving me a Choice

Holding Caden- God holding and caring and His children and his endless adoration and affinity forward them “I made him.”

“He is for you” elevation worship

I wish when I knew I was in the way. I believe God is Good and that He has my best interest at Heart; I just wish I knew when I was in the way

I just wish there was a comfortable way I could tell him that I don’t trust a system or his people

Wondering if my love and idea of God is a

It’s not the fullest expression of Love if it’s not a choice”

The worst thing that our culture has done is teach us that God is two things: 1) That He is rigid, and that 2) He is unforgiving and that he is

Rearranging vs Properly Disposing

“Also ……. Not Arlyn Josh getting married” - Josh

Ft Josh, Shawntel, hangout w Calvin - diversity of friendships and trying to keep up with it all. It’s a blessing to be challenged to keep up with all of that

2.26.21

Calvin not wanting me to break my Lenten promise 🥺

2.27.21

Lunch for Ate Tina @ Columbia

Being talked about; having fun, laughing, good vibes, sangria, talking about how we missed friends who werent there

And I remember a real moment of insecurity washing over me, when I realized that I was the only person at the table not in a relationship. Not having Convos about the next few years with someone, what it would be like to marry someone, how the proposals gonna lookC what the ring will look like. And I remember the word being the most accurate to describe is: haunting

Wondering if I would ever be able to shake off that feeling of wondering if that’s the way I’ll always feel when I hangout in large groups with friendsZ Feeling like an accessory to other people’s bonding and to their life; if I’m so funny and if I’m such a pleasant person to be around, where’s my opportunity for that?

It’s not about S. It’s about that this means for me moving forward.

Feeling my heart turn inwards and against itself. Struggling with wondering why ... if I try so hard to convince myself of what’s right, and

if I fight so hard to like what God loves, then why is it so hard for me?

Why can’t it be easier? Why can’t the burden feel a little lighter ?

**relating to dad and his unwillingness to heed. But I feel like where I differ is I’ve tried to meditate and convince myself of what’s right and what is needed.

But maybe that’s the point.

Maybe I don’t have to be 100% convinced to actually do that’s right and what’s called of me

I’m so upset and angry about how I reacted to S texting me again. Lol. I was left on read literally twice. Like ow. Lol so yeah def not texting in on bday lol

I’m not going to stress over the energy to someone - who clearly doesn’t even care to literally respond or like or acknowledge my texts lol. Like literally. I hate that I buy into that narrative or “small sliver of chance” every time. And today is a yet again another reminder that S does not care for me in the way I them. It’s not a discussion anymore

I don’t care anymore. It makes me sad to think that I saw what I saw - and I believed what I believed.

I kinda feel really embarrassed. And I feel ..... lots of pity for myself. Bc I can see myself from an objective point of view- and I see a person who really cared. I see a person who was overjoyed with the attention he received - from someone who seemingly checked every single box- and I see someone who was so eager to love. And someone who was so eager to be romanced, and cared for, and journeyed with.

But in this same state, Im also identifying with that same person in every emotional sense. From every ounce of pure joy and sheer excitement, to every ounce of pain and harsh embarrassment.

I see it all. And from a distance I still feel it all.

I will never blame myself for caring. I will never be angry at myself for following in command with what I was designed to do and to be. I will never shame myself for being a human and for allowing my heart to experience the fullest extent of its emotions

A part of me hates myself for naming this.... thing that I liked. This thing that attracted me. And I took it and gave it the name of love, when it wasn’t that. I hate that I trusted this thing, and depended so much on it, and relied on it for much of my happiness and daily excitement. and that I made it the center of my universe. I hate that it didn’t give back to me, all of what I gave it. I hate that I was infatuated with an idea, more than I was living in my reality

I just hate that my feelings and my efforts feel like they aren’t welcome anywhere. That Ill never reach a place where I can offer them openly and authentically. And that I feel like I’ll always have to Give it Under controlled circumstances

My text invite group and all the one and support

Siblings group chat

Kyle paying for my Filipiniana

Churros & Hiccup

Feeling and hoping for a wave of blessings and positive change in the air, but nothing wanting to jinx it

Being there for tita dais and driving to ates to see her and Caden (and Noah and ate ro!!) was really nice

Talk with Jonah was nice

I AM GOING TO BE A G-BIG ???????!!!!!!!!

0 notes

serialreblogger · 2 years

Text

quick survey but who would be interested if i were to reject all external and self-imposed responsibility & instead post a fic abt juno steel

#new season dropped and while i am unfortunately emotionally incapable of listening to new eps at this time #i am still in love w this podcast. good content #anyway i've got 15k plus a to-be-written epilogue of THEIA related nonsense i am teetering on the edge of posting #drop a '!' in the notes if u would read it #the other option is a ''jon's memories travel back in time'' single-chapter au with a truly terrible no-comfort ending #(which i am planning to complete & add some actual . yknow. comfort to but uh haven't gotten around to it yet)#i may post either or neither or both however. positive feedback is all that sustains the demon that drives my creative muse #so. let me know #<3 #linden's originals #tpp #juno steel #linden writes #(or at least. threatens to)

48 notes · View notes

kanene-yaaay · 3 years

Text

Tickle me, princey

Kanene’s note: This fic is basically: Virgil is a bratty Lee, Roman is a competitive Ler and none of them are going down without a fight xDD.

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Virgil and Ler!Roman (Kind of. Because there is almost no tickles here, just teasing). Human AU.

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* This have about 2.500 words of Roman and Virgil just being teasy beans. ‘w’)b.

* PLEASE CHECK THIS AMAZING ART! IT’S INCREDIBLEE! <33

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! I didn’t proofread that one very well, so I will probably be correcting a few things later. Any advice is always very, very welcome!

* A versão em português brasileiro irá ser escrita, ainda. Eu espero! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Do something crazy today, take a good rest, be kind (especially with yourself) and drink water! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

Roman cleaned his hands on his jeans before stretching his back and sighing in relief when a small ‘pop’ came from it. The pal from the nearby library was a cool person – not that he would ever allow the other to hear this, because, damn, people who called Roman cocky definitely haven’t met them yet – but equally precise in get on his nerves with as few words as possible, even though the florist didn’t care that much as his dramatics discourses tried to convince everyone he did.

Besides that, they was Patton’s friend and even more important, they made an accord with the Flower Shop’s owner and Roman was the one in charge to deliver their biweekly floral arrangement to the library’s decór. However, today Roman managed to win their discussion and therefore a couple of podcast episodes read by them (What? Their voice was quite nice!!).

Roman ignored the small ring of the door’s bell as he entered the Flower Shop, looking around to be sure there was no clients before taking his position behind the balcony, internally thanking how chill Patton was with his employees using phone during the shift as long there wasn’t no one near, especially as he unlocked his screen and a new notification popped in front of him.

Butterflies went immediately crazy on his stomach.

[Message from Panic! At Everywhere]

[P: Hey. So, are you still ok?]

Virgil kicked his blanket out of his bed, already feeling a tad of giddiness spread across his body, a small smirk finding its way to his face without him even realizing. Today was the day. Since when he and Roman talked on the last week about boundaries to be sure nothing had changed and decided Saturday as a good day for their session the one with purple hair couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander, picturing and re-picturing what would happen, even though Roman always insisted to never tell him his plans, wanting to keep everything as a surprise, which definitely didn’t help at all the excitement running on his veins.

Their session.

Their tickle session. It was only eleven in the morning and Virgil could already feel his skin tingle just by imagine Roman’s fingers grazing, dancing on it, carefully looking for all his weak spots both knew so well before coming with an entire new technique that would make the other (almost, barely, hardly) want to jump out of his skin so he could escape from the maddening tickly sensation.

He was going to love it.

Also, it didn’t help that he spent the previous night and its following morning consuming all his favorite tickle content, dying on the spot (and on the reblogs) and skyrocketing his lee mood to the mountains.

Nevertheless, he tried to play nonchalant as answered the other’s new message.

[Message from Dumb(o)]

[D: Yes.]

[P: Cool.]

[D: You?]

[P: Yep.]

[D: Glad to know, Blushy Bug. Try to not alarm all of our neighborhood with your squeals and giggles before I get there, okay? ~

D: And yeah, plu-e-ase, continue with your so delightful tags on your reblogs, okay, Tickle me Emo? I’m learning so much new information with that. If only I would have an opportunity to use all of them today…]

Virgil snorted, one hand trying to hide his face as he attempted with all his might to ignore the flames taking over his cheeks as the teases sank and the memories from the day he conquered this nickname emerged from the deeps of his mind. So, Princey was already so over his head with being the ler this time? Thinking Virgil would be hiding his face on the pillow, squeaking and tittering helpless? Well, he would have a big storm coming, then.

Virgil got up, his footsteps leading him to the clean desk in the room, moving some of the objects so carefully chosen in order to get the perfect picture. Every single makeup brush lined, gleaming under the lens of his camera, away enough so the viewer would be able to realize all their individualities but close enough to create an impact.

Two can play this game.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent an image]

Roman clicked on it, eyes going immediately wide as he quickly slammed the cellphone’s screen on his red apron, his gaze running from a place to another to be sure no one was near or had seen the conversation or noticed the way his smile went from an ear to another.

[P: Nah. I’m too occupied choosing the perfect tools for today… I mean, there are just so many options, ya know? I especially prefer the smallest ones, their bristles softly running on my ribs, tracing their way across my tummy to get to the other side… yeah. That is the good stuff. Or maybe we could be experimenting the biggest ones today, letting them tease that spot right under my chin, the softness engulfing all the nerves… ]

Roman took a deep breath, realizing the other still typing.

[P: Anyway, don’t make a big deal of this, ‘kay? I know your imagination can be very fertile but try to not alert Patton with all your blush and twitching. You know he is a curious guy and will want to know why you’re so smiley. ;)]

“Pai amado, (Dear God) he is going to kill me.” Roman crossed his arms, using all his will to no start wiggling them to nothing, a sudden urge to sing some nursery rhymes making him begin to humming quietly as attempted to gather enough concentration to type a proper, cool reply.

[D: Is that so? So, the big, badass Virgil Storm is excited to get all his tickly-tickle-tickles today? Is he excited to become a so helpless, so adorable mess of giggles and squeaks? To be teased and tickled until he can do nothing but give me those lovely snorts and wiggly-wiggles? ~

Awww. So cute. ~]

[P: Yeah, I am. So what? Wanna do something about that, Sir Sing a Lot?

Ops, I forgot you’re at work rn. Tsc. Such a pity. Well, guess I will have to kill some time by looking at your precious collection of feathers, see if I find something interesting there.]

[D: You just wait for when I get home.]

[P: :)]

Virgil laid his phone at his side, hiding his face on the mattress, kicking just like he was some teenager in love from those generic movies. The squeals bubbled out from his lips, smiles blooming. He knew he probably was just digging his own grave, but, ha, as if he would fall without a fight. Plus, imagining Roman trying at every cost to keep a straight expression while reading his texts and then struggling to continue his work just as if nothing had happened, with that cute, excited smile planted on his face made a proud wave of power – and joy - hit him and that was a bonus which was worth it.

Then his phone vibrated, indicating a new notification and a new flood of shivers as he unlocked his screen, freezing for a couple of heartbeats with the length of the message.

[D: A poem for my dear Knightmare. ~

Once upon a time

There was a wiggley-wiggly lee

That just a few pokes

Made him giggle with glee

Some scribbles here

Some scratches there

You can tickle-tickle

He is ticklish everywhere!

What, you don’t believe me?

‘That much cute he can’t be!’

Well, then allow me to demonstrate

All the beautiful sounds he can create!

Give a few prodding on his ribs

And a quick digging on his hips

Some brushes on his toesies and feet

And don’t forget about these helpless pits!

(And hey, psst, if you squeeze his sides

The cutie, squeaky, wiggly lee,

Will be squealing in a happy delight)

This neck is also asking for tickly-kisses

He always denies, always desire

Add to that some teasy whispers

And watch his cheeks be set on fire!

Once upon a time

There was a bratty, smug lee

That just a few tickle teases

Can make him a blushy mess

Just like now, you see!]

[…]

“Have a nice day. Thank you for coming!”

Roman waved to the client who got out from the Flower Shop, taming the smugness which threatened to take over his features as he realized that even though an hour had passed, no answer to his last text had arrived yet. He was perfectly aware of how weak Virgil was for any sort of rhymed tease and a whole poem – not his best, he had to admit – dedicated to him? He could almost see the other shrieking, hiding his red face on the pillow, lost in a mess of quiet peals of laughter and curses. His smile got even bigger, swelled in pride. And, well, if he couldn’t help it but push his luck a few inches further, his fingers already halfway to typing a small, itsy bitsy, new tease to his favorite emo lee, how could someone really blame him?

[D: Oh, sorry. Did I make the scary Virgil too much flustered to talk? Awww, I will miss your sassy remarks deeply and sing a ballad in your honor at the funeral. ~]

He snorted at the amount of time the symbol of ‘typing’ appeared and disappeared on the conversation, using the ten minutes he took to be answered to organize a few sales signs on the glass in front of the store, gaining a dance on his step as the one-worded sentence shone on his phone.

[P: Bitch.]

[D: I have no idea of what you’re talking about. Is that something I said? I feel wounded.]

But a new thing popped up.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent a video]

[P: :)]

It seemed like hours passed, even if he knew the downloading probably didn’t really take more than a few pieces of minute for him to hit the play.

The focus of the camera took a few seconds to adjust, the image trembling and shaking before going still, the crystal clear form of a small light brown, slightly spiked feather twirling between Virgil’s index and thumb locking his eyes on the screen. A quick, quiet sigh could be heard before the tickle tool descended to the palm extended on a desk, stopping by Virgil’s pulse.

The bristles grazed the skin there as the feather began to move on slow strokes, going from the left to the right, left and right, left and right… calmly making its way up, changing to small swirls as it contorted the form of the hand, giving to each finger a light tracing before concentrating on the palm, drawing a spiral which approximated inch by inch to the center. If Roman wasn’t so quiet, - even holding his breath, - maybe he wouldn’t be able to listen the incredibly low, contained huffs of laughter on the background, a soft snort escaping and making both hands tremble as the bristles hit the center of his hand, dancing around the spot for a bit.

When it stopped, the tool was placed on the desk and then the camera started to move, stopping on Roman’s so very well-known golden with silver details box. Its lid laid next to it, letting its entire content to be proudly shown. The explosion of colors from the most diverse large, small, pointy, fluffy feathers took over the frame, however, a tiny piece of paper placed on the exact center of them was what captured his attention. The lens zoomed and focused, making him able to read the quick message written there.

“:)”

And then the screen went black. The video was over.

Roman could feel his face being almost split in half by his grin, his fingers hitting the table top in complete frenzy since they hadn’t to hold the device anymore, curling and uncurling as the one who couldn’t just stay still started to bounce his right leg, ignoring the redness he felt crippling down his neck.

“Roman?”

He fully shrieked. Both him and Patton startled and jumped a few centimeters in the air with the sudden sound. The florist slapping his own hand on his mouth, trying with all his inner strength to stop the bubbly giggles which flooded non stop from his lips

“Sorry for the scare, kiddo,” the shine on his eyes free of any guilt as Patton bit his own knuckles proved the contrary, especially when the rest of an awed squeal escaped from his lips, only making the other to giggle harder, eyes closed, blush deepening and nose scrunched. “Aww, your giggles are so cute!”

“Shuhuhush!!” The Flower Shop owner just smiled fondly, withholding his comments and patiently waiting for the other to recompose himself. When Roman looked at least a tad calmer he decided to make his decision to talk to him clear.

“I’m glad you’re in a good mood, Ro! I just wanted to remember today’s shift is already over. I need a bit of time to organize everything before the painter comes so we can discuss the new design of the Flower Shop. Thank you so much for the ideas, by the way! I can’t wait for you all to see the result! It will be so pretty!!” Roman’s wide eyes were enough of an explanation of why he wasn’t ready to go yet, probably having forgotten about their last month conversation. Although, the surprised look was away in an instant, a shine taking over his glare before he softened, locking his eyes with Patton.

“Of course, it will be, Patty-cake! With my magnificent ideas and your good taste, I really don’t think any other result besides wonderful and perfection will be possible!” He squeezed Patton’s cheeks and his friend stuck out his tongue at him, winning a quick poke on his ribs that made him squirms and yelp, quickly tittering and waving the other with his hands.

“Now shoo-shoo, go enjoy your afternoon!”

A devious smirk gleamed on Roman’s expression for a second. “You can count on it, Padre.” But then it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “Thank you, my mighty hero in a shiny armor! May the universe let our destiny align again in the future.”

“See ya, kiddo!” He replied, his tune also full of joy, watching the one with red hair going away, a happy bounce on his steps.

[…]

Virgil picked the phone in the first ring. “Roman, something happened?”

“Nope,” the purple lover sighed in relief, all the tension getting out of his body and being replaced by confusion, “nothing happened except that a handsome, incredible someone got out from his work earlier than expected and might be heading his home by now.”

That made Virgil shot up, biting his lower lip, butterflies freaking out. “No.” It was his whisper.

“Oh, yes. ~” Roman practically purred on the speaker. “any last words, my dear, defenseless Giggly Storm?”

Virgil just giggled and Roman had almost forgotten how that sound only was enough to spread an explosion of a warm, good feeling on his chest. “Aw, and here I was thinking I would have at least some challenge today. ~” He continued to tease.

Silence.

“Go check your messages, Princeypie.”

And then he hung up. Roman fondly rolled his eyes, running to check the new notification on their conversation.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent a photo]

It was Virgil, sitting on his bed criss crossed, one elbow resting on his thigh as he took the picture on the body mirror on the other side of the room, a strong blush very visible on his face half hidden by the device, wearing a short and Roman’s red crop top. A new message popped right under the photo.

[P: Get your butt here and tickle me, Sir Sing a Lot.’]

This emo was going to be the death of him.

[D: Aww, I don’t even get a smile?]

[P: You gotta work for those, Princey.]

Virgil definitely did not jump nor yelp as he heard the low, dangerous tune of an “evil” laughter echoes in the house coming from the living room, the sound of the front door being closed making his flight instincts kick in.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Virgil was already halfway to the most far away room where he could escape, trying to keep his reputation as he heard another set of footsteps quickly getting ground and following right behind him. Laughter and squeaks mixed in the air.

“Because I will.” Roman answered.

#Very teasy #Teases #Lee!Virgil #Ler!Roman #Virgil is a brat and Roman is one as well #Ticklish!Virgil #Sanders Sides tickles #Sanders Sides tickling #Kanene's Fanfic #Kanene's Art #Kanene's fic #Brief self tickles #Feathers #blushy bois #Writing this kind of fic is very fun and sdfghertcvgbhn kind of silly as well #Virgil: Tickle me// Roman: Okay// Virgil: *NYOOOM*#I still don't know how to tag this dfghjsdfghdcf #I feel like my writing is a bit weird nowdays but yeah I'm still proud of this!

109 notes · View notes

autisticlalna · 2 years

Note

Snarky Honk, good for him! Important to have suitable recipients for your daily dose of sass and rudeness.

And same!!! It's ooonly in our heads, I forgot just how many Tales were out by then! Karl going through Masquerade, Honk handing him the book in the Inbetween, ooooo still gives me goosebumps!

But yeah, I feel like I remember him tweeting about a Tales comic at some point? He's making a lot of content and go at your own pace of course but Mr Jacobs please provide Tales. Literally rewatched Masquerade highlights after the lore today!! Quackity's stuff can definitely be intense, there aren't a whole lot of breaks for humor and stuff. But the streams are broken into chapters, which make them a little easier to spread out over a while! Definitely made it easier to rewatch only the fiance-specific bit of it :,D

And I know, Karl's narratives just lend themselves to shadow stuff so well?? Especially the way you characterize Honk? Which makes me think (a) you and Karl probably have similar narrative instincts, which is cool, and/or (b) Karl's a fan of whatever started the original spau, which I know was Hermitcraft, but I feel like there was Kingdom Hearts influence? Which is so Karl? Either way, the way that Honk and Karl's stories parallel/mirror each other? Karl just stumbled into this interdimensional force, and as a result, both he and Honk become middlemen straddling the line between human and shadow without really belonging to either, with a whole lot of sentient spooky castles tossed into the mix!! Not to mention that Honk slowly can rely on Karl as a source of solidarity less and less as he forgets more of what's going on! It's all aaaaaaaaaaa and you're so cool and it's fun to talk about with you, dspau and Tales are the main connections I keep to DSMP as I fall further and further into podcasts fhfsghf

yeah i think masquerade was the latest tales ep when i made undercover agents?? its wild to think about how much has happened since then, but also it's only been 3 episodes since then but So Much Has Happened holy crap. aaaa im still really proud of UA, it came out p much exactly how i wanted and that's such an awesome feeling

oh that's good to know!! the chapters thing i mean. honestly i Am excited to get to watch q's lore bc i saw the v first las nevadas stream w/ glatt and the cinematography!! holy fuck!!! between tales and las nevadas, dsmp is really going in hard on making stuff Cinematic

spau having kingdom hearts-y elements was unintended at the start i think BUT i extremely love kingdom hearts and am currently looking at my rolled-up organization xiii poster haunting me from across the room so . GUILTY AS CHARGED. also finding out that karl a) likes kh and b) intentionally based the inbetween off of castle oblivion made my day i love kh so much aaaaaaaaaaa

YEAH YOU GET IT!! YEAH!!!!! they're stuck on the boundary and it's only making things more and more complicated as things fall apart but they're just trying to keep their heads above water

HAHA SAME i kinda went full on into the blaseball fandom back in march and didn't..... really leave............... and kinda stopped keeping up with dsmp, but i love tales and dspau so much and im always super happy to talk about it!! also you're very cool and i get excited every time i get an ask from you :D thank you for encouraging me and talking to me about stuff, it means a lot !!

#tales #shadow people au #leos reply #[wiggles happily] eee #ok im going to bed so if you send more asks ill answer tomorrow o/#meta analysis stuff #leo.txt

2 notes · View notes

ecoamerica · 1 month

Text

youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

12K notes · View notes

havethetimeofyourstyles · 5 years

Text

Happier

*gif not mine*

You can read part I here!

The sun was getting brighter and the air was getting warmer.

The air was more crisped and it felt like you could breathe again.

And you were happy.

It was always going to be a great day when nature decides to have great weather. Especially when it’s been gloomy and depressing. The weather resembled your mood. At least, London weather. You’ve been in some mood for most of the year, and the weather didn’t help whatsoever. You were cooped up in your bed with a blanket wrapped around your head, only making your face visible. Ever since that night, you’ve just been sad. You were sad because it was over. You were sad because you pushed away the only good thing in your life, and you couldn’t be more pissed with yourself. But you learned that it was for the best and that it needed to happen so you could move forward with yourself. You’ve learned to take responsibility for yourself and making yourself a priority.

And overall, you were content.

It wasn’t an easy process. It was definitely one of the hardest things to do. It took some time, but you feel like you’ve made huge progress. And for that you were content.

You weren’t fully happy. You knew something was missing, and that something or someone was the love of your life who had curly hair that is mostly wavy now, and a smile that makes you weak in the knees. You were missing Harry Styles.

You’ve felt on top of the world about him; like you were on a cloud. But you felt your lowest and below the ground about yourself.

It’s been quite a long time since you’ve seen him. 5 months can do a lot to a couple and people in general. You haven’t spoke to him nor seen him, and you hope he’s doing okay. What you have seen were pictures from fans or paps, when he was out and about. He looks so good, you would think. But he always looks so good.

You’ve missed him. A lot. When he left and closed the door, you were a mess. Sobbing violently and screaming at the universe. But you knew it had to be done.

Harry, on the other hand, made sure to get home safely before he could break down and cry. He slammed his front door shut, leaned against the wall before he loses his balance, and sobbed into his hands.

Both were a mess.

But a month later, you started trying. You started trying to love yourself; to take care of yourself. It was weird to do at first, but you started with writing in your journal. You jotting down things you admire about yourself and the things you didn’t, which you later worked on.

The second month, you wanted to change your wardrobe into something that makes you feel beautiful—sexy, even. So you went shopping, by yourself, and picked out many outfits to step up your style. Your style went from casual and safe to classy and chic. You were happy with the way your clothing played out.

The third month, you changed your diet and started working out. You didn’t feel good on the inside nor did you on the outside. So you started prepping your meals and you got a gym membership. It made you feel strong physically and mentally. It made you feel so much better mentally knowing that you’re putting good things in your body.

The fourth month, you decided you wanted a change. So what better way to do that is to get a haircut. Your hair was getting long anyway; practically to your hips. You decided to be bold and cut it to your shoulders. You were happy with it.

The fifth month, you wanted to go on vacation. You and Harry used to go on little getaways from time to time, and they were your favorite. You loved to explore, especially with Harry. You loved finding new food and learn more about the culture. So, you booked a vacation to Cuba. You’ve always wanted to go; your cousin telling you that it was absolutely beautiful and the culture is amazing.

You stroll through the city of Havana, passing by the colorful architecture Cuba has to offer. It feels like you’re at peace and you feel so content. You love going to different places because nobody knows you. There would be rare occasions where someone would walk up to you or recognize you, but they were rare and would only happen when Harry was with you. You were able to walk freely and you loved it.

You sit outside of a restaurant, people watching and writing in your journal. You’ve become accustomed to the fact that you have to write in a journal. You’ve come to the fact that you love it. It’s a nice mental break from the world with the only relationship between the pen and paper. Throughout the months, you learned so much about yourself that you love. The things you dislike about yourself is a work in progress, but you feel yourself getting better every single day.

“Excuse me?” You look up and see a man through your sunglasses. He wasn’t standing directly in front of the sun, making your eyes wince before raising your arm to block the sun.

And there he was. Standing in front of you; wearing light pink shorts, a white tank top, and a white, short-sleeved, button down over. He wore white vans, square sunglasses, and his hair clipped.

Harry took off his sunglasses to get a better look at you, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He knew it was you, but it’s been so long that you’ve changed so much within the five months. And it was a good change.

“Hi.” He said nervously.

“Hi… Harry.”

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” His index and thumb get a hold of his lips as he pinches the skin between his fingers; something you would always admire him doing.

“It has. W-Would you like to sit?” You offered.

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Harry, it’s me. You’re not imposing.” Harry gets flashbacks to when you said that five months ago when he wanted to leave, but you insisted he stay for one more night.

He nods and takes a seat across from you. You both don’t say anything, still trying to process that this is the first time you two are in each other’s presence for several months. It’s surreal, but he’s happy to be sitting in front of you.

“How have you been?” He’s genuinely asking, but he’s also curious because you broke up with him to figure yourself out.

“I’ve been… good. Yeah, I’ve been good.” Harry looks at you careful, making sure you’re not bullshitting him. But when you genuinely smile at him, he knows you’re okay.

“That’s great.”

“Yeah.” You smile. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good as well. Just been writing a lot more, but the album… is a work in progress.” He says, trying not to say too much about it because he knows you love waiting until release day to listen to everything as a whole. He thinks you’re a bit weird for it, but respects your wishes anyways.

“That’s amazing, Harry! I’m proud of you.” You say with genuine. Harry smiles with appreciation.

“So, I have to ask… What are you doing here?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Just wanted a vacation. This was next on my list, so here I am. What are you doing here?”

“This was also next on my list.” It suddenly hit you that you and Harry made travel lists together; listing the places you’d want to go and some places were on the same number as the other, which was fortunate. And sure, Harry’s been all over the world and visited so many places, but come to think of it, he’s very truly browsed around. He never really saw the cities and towns. He would see everything from the balcony of his hotel as thousands of fans would wait outside of their hotel.

You nod at him and a waiter comes by to get Harry’s order. Once he’s done, Harry turns back to you, looking you in the eye, and smiling.

“What?”

“You cut your hair.”

“Yeah, I did.” You tuck your hair behind your ear.

“It looks great. You look beautiful.” He gives you a small smile, making his dimple pop out.

“Thank you, Harry.” He raises his eyebrows in amusement. He hasn’t heard you say a genuine thank you, when he would compliment you, for quite a while. You would either just blush and look away or whisper it out. And right then and there, he knows that this break did you good; he could see the progress you’ve made by the way you act and react to certain things. He’s so proud of you, he feels like he could cry.

While you both ate, you both talked about everything you’ve been up to. It didn’t seem like five months went by while talking, and you were glad for that. Harry has always been a great person to talk to, especially when it has to do with things you’re both passionate about. That’s what made you fall in love with him the first place; you admired his passionate side and how he could ramble for hours, even when he’s a quiet person to the outside world.

“Wait, you wore that exact same outfit and matched with Gemma?” Tears stay at the corner of your eye from all the laughing you two have done.

“Yeah! Exactly the same, besides the shoes. But everything was pretty spot on. Here, I have the picture.” He takes out his phone and shows the picture to you, making your heart flutter. You love Gemma. She was super down to earth and such a genuine person. You two have become close since fake dating and dating Harry.

“That is just gold!”

“When I arrived at the restaurant, Mum saw me first, from a distance, and just started busting out laughing. I was so confused until I got to the table.” He chuckles.

“Oh, wow.” You control your breathing from laughing. “How are they doing, by the way?”

“They’re great! Mum is busy with charity for Parkinson’s and Gems’ recently did a podcast regarding mental health, which is great.”

“I’m glad they’re doing well.”

“Yeah… they miss you.” You felt your heart sinking at that moment, and you knew that it was entirely your fault. “I miss you.” He admits.

“Harry-”

“And I know it’s not the best time to say it because you’re working on yourself, which is great! But this is the first time I’m seeing you in five months, and I’ve missed you so much that I couldn’t help-”

“I miss you too.” You interrupt his rambling. “Like, a lot.”

“You do?” He feels a sense of relief when he heard you say the words.

“Of course I do.”

“Well… okay. Thanks, I guess?” You chuckle at his response.

“Harry, I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. It was extremely selfish of me to just abruptly end it the way I did, but I just want you to know that I’m doing better—I am better.” Harry’s face softens.

“Love, you don’t need to apologize, for anything. I understand why you did it, and as much as I hated being apart from you for so many months, I’m glad you did it because I can see change on you. We’ve only been here for an hour and a half, and I can see change. I’m proud of you. Extremely proud of you.” You were definitely holding back tears, not wanting to cry in front of him just yet.

“Thank you, Harry. That means a lot coming from you. It makes me feel relieved to hear you say that because I still think about the way things went, and I thought you somewhat resented me because of it.”

“I could never. You did this for you. You didn’t do this for me or for anyone. All that matters is how you feel and how you look at yourself.” You nod in agreement, coming to terms that that’s truly all that mattered. No one else mattered. They can define and judge you all they want, but if you don’t feel that way about yourself, then that’s all that matters.

“The main reason that caused this was, not only was I insecure from the beginning, but because I’ve read stuff online and I let people get to me. I know you always told me to not look into it, but you know me, I can’t help it. They kept comparing me and calling me names; things that I’m not. Now, I know they’re not true, but then, they hurt. They were...just so mean to me.” Tears have now managed to release themselves from your eyes. Although they weren’t from laughing.

You’ve had a great time with Harry. He’s practically the only person he could make you cry from laughing, but as the tears now are from sadness and frustration, you knew it had to come out. You knew that you two had to talk about it eventually.

Harry reaches for your hand across the table and hold it gently, listening to you talk. “Love, you are a completely different person. You were way different from whatever they said about you, and you’re a different person now.” His thumb caresses the back of your hand, comforting you.

“I agree. I’ve learned now that I’m not the same. I’m much more stronger. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m doing so much better than I was before. I feel so much happier.” Harry smiles, leaning forward before bringing your hand to his mouth as he places soft kisses on it. The feeling of his lips on you makes you smile and giddy.

Happier. It was the word that you was afraid of using, just in case you would ever jinx yourself. But you felt content with yourself. You felt content doing things by yourself that you could finally depend on yourself. But now as you sit in front of Harry, all you can think about is how happy you are. And all you wanted to do was be happy with him.

“I know I’m somewhat on thin glass to ask this, and I understand why you would say no, but I just missed you so much so… do you want to, you know, start over? Maybe? I don’t even know if you still want to be with me-”

“Of course I still want to be with you.” He reassures with a smile.

“Okay, good. So, what do you say?” Wanting to hear him say it.

“Hi, I’m Harry Styles.” He reaches across the table for a hand shake.

“You dork.” You laugh.

“Can I kiss you now? Been waiting to do it for ages.” And you’ve been waiting for it too.

“Sorry, I don’t kiss people I just meet.” You tease, which makes him laugh.

“As much as that’s a relief to hear, just shut up and kiss me.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #1dff #one direction #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles writing

487 notes · View notes

damienthepious · 4 years

Text

boy howdy it Sure Is Time For Lizard Kissin’. like. lots of Lizard Kissin’, honestly.

Scattered On My Shore (Chapter 17)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [Ch 10] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [ao3] [Ch 18] [Ch 19]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum & The Keep

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum, Sir Damien, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Pre-Relationship, (for the three of them. it’s established r/d), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, (this will also be), Enemies to Lovers, (for damien and arum eventually lol), Mutual Pining, canon typical Arum ignoring feelings

Fic Summary: Strange things wash up out of the lake near Rilla’s hut, on occasion. But this monster… this monster is certainly the strangest.

Chapter Summary: Morning, warm and safe, and together.

Chapter Notes: A short chapter and a weird chapter and i don't know whether to be sorry about it, but a certain someone(s) will yell at me if i am, so. I hope you enjoy? One more chapter probably to wrap things up, hopefully. probably. probably. I love you, kiss a lizzer.

Damien wakes at the same time he does nearly every day, regardless of the light strain in his muscles from the last leg of the journey, from the duel. He inhales deeply before his eyes are even open, and he hears an unfamiliar creak of wood, smells rich soil and vague sweet florals, feels the softness of his Rilla close by his side, feels-

The rise and fall of a scaled chest, beneath his own cheek. Scaled arms, wrapped around him. A clawed hand, curled at his lower back.

Damien blinks his eyes open, and stares at the gleaming, dappled scales he is resting against, and his heart-

His heart beats steady, and calm, and certain, and Damien wishes to wake like this… every day, if he is able. As often as he is allowed to do so, at the very least. His forever-flower close and safe and warm by his side, Arum's hands wrapped around the both of them.

He closes his eyes again, feeling their bodies beside him, committing this precise feeling to memory, future rhythms and rhymes tickling the back of his tongue. He breathes, slow and safe, and Rilla and Arum breathe as well, untroubled in slumber.

Content as he is, though, Damien knows that if he remains in their arms for much longer he will come in danger of waking them. The urge to press his lips to Rilla's shoulder, to the scales above Arum's heart- he would not dare risk it, but the temptation is too strong.

And- well, it is morning, and Damien has a routine to maintain, of course.

Arum's grasp upon him is loose in sleep; it is not terribly difficult to extricate himself, to allow the lizard's limbs to curl around Rilla instead, and neither wake though Rilla mutters something in her sleep as she presses her face into Arum's shoulder. That alone is enough that Damien needs press a hand hard over his mouth, the words on his tongue threatening to spill past his lips with the force of his adoration.

As Damien pulls his eyes away from that utterly enthralling sight, he realizes that they are no longer in the same place they fell to sleep the night before. They are not by Arum's table- in fact, they appear to be in a bed.

Arum's bed, Damien must assume.

He bites his lip, feels heat in his cheeks, and decides not to think too deeply on that particular detail.

Not at the moment, at least.

He tiptoes away from the bed, towards the loose curtain of leafy vines that separate the room from a wide balcony outside, shrugging off his shirt as he goes. The swamp below is utterly beautiful, breathtaking and thrumming with life, splotched with color and vibrancy, and Damien inhales the floral morning air of the Keep deeply, and then he begins his exercises.

Tranquility. Damien is filled with the feeling again as the sunlight hums warm through his eyelids, and he did not realize that he had been lacking, before. No, he had settled into his knighthood and achieved not tranquility, but complacency. Perhaps the one had preluded the other, but nonetheless he had allowed himself to forget the water, forget the flow of the river, to stagnate.

Damien slowly works his body, wakes his muscles, whispers his prayers to the morning air, to his Saint.

Mostly, this morning, his prayers revolve around the theme of thankfulness. Damien does not think he has ever felt so blessed.

He is settled, sun-warmed, utterly tranquil by the time he is finished, and he takes a long moment to simply… lean on the woven structure of the balcony railing, looking down upon the hazy glory of the swamp beneath him, rich greens and browns speckled through with vibrant purple, colors that echo and summon to memory the elegant visage of the monster still resting inside. The echo alone is enough to make Damien's heart ache, and he cannot think of a single good reason to deny himself the joy of returning to their sides, of holding patient vigil until his loves wake.

He gently sweeps the vine curtain aside as he steps back in from the sunlight, but he pauses in the threshold when he sees the flash of violet, gazing at him from the bed.

Rilla is still sleeping, still curled against Arum's chest, but the monster is awake. Awake, and attentive, if the brightness of his eyes is any indication, and Damien feels his cheeks heat again.

"A-Arum," he says, his voice pitched carefully low. "I- I did not wake you, did I?"

Arum shakes his head, his mouth curling into a slight smile.

Damien stands in the threshold, licks his lips, and Arum watches him quietly.

"I… it is… your home is beautiful, Lord Arum," he says eventually, and Arum's expression softens even further, going pleased and warm. "Thank you for… for sharing it with us."

"Honeysuckle," Arum says softly, and Damien feels the word like a ribbon wrapped around his throat. Soft, and welcome, but undeniable as well.

"Yes, Arum?"

The monster stares for another moment, one of his palms drifting very, very slowly up and down Rilla's back as she sleeps, and then his tongue flicks before he meets Damien's eyes again.

"Come here," he murmurs, and then he lifts a hand in Damien's direction. "Please."

Arum's eyes are soft, warm, perhaps a little worried- more worried, the longer Damien does not respond. He shakes off his surprise, and he does as Arum asks, padding closer until he is within Arum's reach.

Arum does not reach, though. Not immediately. He holds his outstretched hand just away from Damien's arm, and Damien sees him swallow before the monster glances up enough to meet his eyes again. "Honeysuckle," he repeats in a murmur, the nerves in his eyes sparking brighter.

Damien feels his lips pulling into a smile, affection making him feel near giddy, and then he kneels beside the bed, putting himself closer to eye level with the monster as he reclines, trapped beneath Rilla's quietly sleeping body.

"Arum," he murmurs, and then he drifts his palm across the back of Arum's hand, feeling the texture of scales against his skin, and then he gently pulls Arum's hand to his mouth so he may place a kiss at the heel of his palm, joy welling higher and hotter within him when that makes the monster give a keening sort of noise.

Arum swallows again, his hand flexing in Damien's, and then he drifts the tips of his claws across Damien's cheek with delicate care.

"Come here," he breathes again, and Damien blinks. "Closer, honeysuckle."

Damien leans forward, Arum's hand on his cheek tickling gentle as the space between them softens. Damien pulls himself back onto the bed beside them, careful, and Arum's eyes stay fixed upon him, steady and determined and only barely edged with nervousness now.

Damien pauses, then, close but still with space for breath between them, and there is something expectant on Arum's face now, but Damien is still not entirely sure…

He reaches out, cupping Arum's face as Arum is cupping his. Arum's breath catches, his frill raising just barely, and he leans into the touch, a rumble growing in his chest.

"Well?" the monster says in a whisper, and Damien blinks again.

"W-well?" he echoes, uncertain, and Arum's hand on his face flexes, claws so terribly careful against the skin beneath his ear. "Well, what?"

Arum exhales, his frill raising further, and the nervousness returns to his eyes though he does not pull his hand away. "I… I am… I imagine that you understand better… what is expected next. Human… convention is quite beyond me."

Damien tilts his head, letting his cheek rest more fully in Arum's palm. "I am not quite sure what you mean," he says gently.

"All- all of this." Arum gestures with another hand, vague and wincing as he does. "Being- being together. I have your example- yours and Amaryllis', but- but I have been- attempting not to allow myself to- look. Not to look too closely at the pair of you."

Damien blinks, warmth blooming brighter in his chest at the uncertainty and worry on Arum's face. "Oh." He breathes a light laugh, caressing Arum's jaw when the monster winces again. "Oh, well- if- if you are concerned for convention, I think you may safely set those concerns aside. This- this," he strokes his thumb over Arum's cheek, lifting his other hand and placing it over Arum's to draw light down Rilla's back. "This us. This you, and I, and she… it would be madness to expect us to be conventional, Arum. We must find our own rhythms, our own union, our own strength."

Arum exhales slowly, some of the tension in his shoulders softening, and he nods very slightly. "A fair point," he murmurs. "Nonetheless I am… uncertain what I should… do."

"Your instincts seem to be sound," Damien says, his voice warm, and then he pulls his hand back to cup Arum's own, cradling it against his cheek. "This is… quite lovely. I no longer need pretend that I have not longed for your hands upon me… longed to know the caress of scale upon my skin, longed to discover how your arms would feel around me… around us."

Arum's breath whirs, his tongue flicking, his slitted pupils slowly widening to dark diamonds. "You…" he smiles, very slightly. "Even at this hour you drift into poetics. I suppose I should not be surprised to hear the songbird lilt with the rise of the sun."

"I will lilt for you whenever you like, Arum," Damien breathes. "I am afraid I cannot help myself… the only words I can find to describe you, to describe what I want from you- they are all of them rather poetic."

"What you… want from me," Arum echoes, his tongue flicking again, and Damien feels his cheeks heat.

"I find myself more concerned, at the moment," he answers, "with what you want from me. If you are unsure what you should do, Arum, I think perhaps that would be the place to start. You answered me yesterday in a much grander sense, what you desire from us, but- what of this moment? No expectations, no convention. What do you desire?"

"You," Arum answers instantly, and Damien's breath leaves him in a sharp exhale. "Amaryllis," he continues. "This." He caresses Damien's cheek, the sharpness of his claws utterly careful, utterly safe. "Only this."

Damien blinks quickly, fighting back the dampness in his eyes, and his smile is helpless and warm. "An easy desire to fulfill, then," he murmurs, his voice wavering only slightly with the force of his adoration, and he edges a little closer, one arm pressing against Arum's as he arranges himself back on the bed more closely to the pair of them. "Have you any other desires we may meet with such ease?"

"I…" Arum trails off, his eyes flicking between Damien's, and then he gives a very soft laugh. "P-perhaps-"

Damien waits, but Arum does not finish the thought. He raises an eyebrow, staring at the monster as his frill begins to flutter again. "Arum?"

"Closer," Arum manages, his voice vaguely strained. "Would you-" he breaks off, hissing low, ducking his head, and then he sucks in a slower, steadying breath before he braves meeting Damien's eyes.

Violet, violet like-

Like nothing else. No metaphor Damien can summon would even come close. And those eyes, full of so much feeling, full of emotion, full of-

Love. Warm and overflowing, brighter and bolder than whatever fear is attempting to hold Arum's tongue.

"Kiss me again, Damien," the monster says at last, and the words may be a command in form, but Damien hears the desperation coloring them into a plea.

Damien's heart pulses, love rushing through him like a wave, and he knows that he could not possibly deny Lord Arum so sweet a request. He could not. Moreover, he does not want to.

Damien leans down, slow and patient, feeling Arum's sharp breath against him for a lingering moment before he presses even closer, and Arum's name bounces on his lips as they brush soft over the monster's mouth.

Arum gasps, light and sweet, one hand slipping back to claw gently through Damien's hair, the monster's breath whirring at the back of his throat, the texture of his scales making Damien's lips tingle.

Arum's mouth doesn't move like Rilla's, the contact stiffer, cooler, but the way his claws flex at the nape of Damien's neck, the soft whine he gives, the light pressure of his teeth against Damien's lower lip, all of it spins together into something strange, overwhelming, enthralling, and Damien is utterly helpless against the pull of it, utterly unable to do anything else besides press another kiss to Arum's mouth, and another, until they blend out of individual context, until he loses the thread of anything besides the sensation itself.

"Good morning," Rilla says, some time later by Damien's hazy estimation, and her voice is syrupy with sleep. Arum hisses as Damien pulls back with a sharp inhale, his heart swelling with delight as it ever does when his flower blesses him with her attention. She stretches against Arum (the monster gasps again), looking up at the both of them with warm, dark, gleeful eyes and a smile that squeezes Damien's heart. "Gotta say, I'm not a morning person, but if I can wake up to that more often I could probably be lured over to your side, Damien."

"Rilla," Damien murmurs, and Arum's claws are still in his hair as Rilla gives him that sly, loving smile, and Damien's fevered mind wonders briefly how happy it is physically possible to be. "Oh, oh love-"

She leans up and kisses him without preamble, and Damien's eyes slip automatically closed even as he hears Arum give a ticking rattle of surprise mere inches away, his palm drifting down the back of Damien's neck. Rilla's mouth slides against his own, familiar and intoxicating before she pulls back with a low hum of pleasure. "Sleep well, Damien?" she murmurs, and Damien presses another kiss to her cheek, chaste and delicate.

"Entirely soundly," he answers, "and blessed to wake with such beauty surrounding me, as well."

Arum ducks his head, his smile both flustered and pleased, his chest rumbling- purring, Damien realizes, at the base of his throat, and Rilla turns her warm gaze upon him next.

"Good morning, Arum," her voice soft as she smiles up at him, pressing her palm to his chest. "Are you feeling okay today?"

Arum blinks, as if taking a moment to remember his own injuries. "I… yes. I feel… I… I think, perhaps, I feel better than I ever have," he says, very quietly.

"Really," Rilla says, her eyebrows raising as her smile goes wider, her hand drifting up from his chest, up the column of his throat, gently brushing the edges of his healing frill. "All better, that quick?"

The monster wrinkles his snout, huffing a breath. "Well. A- a little sore, still, perhaps. But-"

Rilla lifts herself up, leaning to press her lips to the scales of his frill, and Arum breaks off into a whirring hiss.

"Saints," she whispers, and then she kisses him again, lips brushing his neck. "Y'know- I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wanted to do that for a long time."

"I-" Arum pants a breath, the hand he still has curled around her lifting to stroke down her braid. "I- I would be lying if I said I had not been longing for…" he exhales a laugh. "I didn't even know what. Your touch, your conversation, your attention … all of it. This." The arms he is caressing each of them with curl more tightly around them, tugging them into a proper embrace. "This," he says more softly, and then he runs the tip of his snout along Rilla's jaw, nuzzling and flicking his tongue lightly at the skin of her throat. He lifts his remaining two hands, taking Rilla's own in one and Damien's in the other, tangling his fingers with theirs, squeezing. "This," he repeats. "This, I wanted quite dearly."

Damien's heart swells almost painfully, and he lifts Arum's hand to kiss his knuckles, his mind a tangle of prayer and poetry and love.

"I wish I could keep you here forever," Arum whispers, giving barely enough breath to be heard, closing his eyes as Damien kisses his knuckles again. "I know, of course, I cannot. I know you must… return to your lives, but- but so short a time, knowing- allowing myself- so little time to- to love you properly, takatakataka. So little time before we must- before you leave-"

Rilla cups Arum's face in both hands, her dark skin so indescribably beautiful against the jewel-gleam of Arum's scales, and then she kisses him, slow and thorough and sweet, and Damien's heart swells yet again at the sight of these two precious creatures tangling together.

When she pulls back, only leaving just enough space between them for breath, for words, Arum exhales slowly, calmly.

"We'll figure it out," Rilla says, her voice utterly confident. "And… in the meantime," she pauses to kiss him again, "I don't see any reason to rush off home this instant, if you aren't eager to kick us out anymore-"

"Of course not," Arum growls. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Good," she says, and then she glances Damien's way, raising her eyebrow in a question that makes Damien's cheeks go hot, and he knows that she understands his desires precisely without him needing to even nod. "In that case… I think maybe we could just… spend the morning here... just like this, and we can work out something else I think we all want."

Arum stares up at her for an uncomprehending moment, and then Rilla presses another, deeper kiss to his mouth, her hands slipping back to wrap around him, one cupping the back of his head, her tongue darting out to trace the line of his teeth, and when she pulls back again Arum pants out a wild sort of breath, his diamond pupils widened such that they are nearly round, now.

"If," Damien says gently, "that is something you desire as well." He smiles, leaning up to peck the tip of Arum's snout much more chastely. "Whatever it is you do desire, we will love you all the same," he says, and Rilla nods beside him. "So… why don't you tell us, then. What do you want?"

Arum stares down at the both of them, his frill flared and flushed, his eyes wide and bright and intense, and then the monster smiles.

"You," he says, simply. "Both of you. Of course I want you, however much of yourselves you choose to share. I will treat your generosity with precisely as much care as it deserves."

Rilla's smirk softens, and she draws her hand down the back of Arum's neck slowly, making him hiss and shiver. "You big softie," she murmurs.

Arum narrows his eyes, though he cannot seem to clamp down on his own smile as he hisses, "Arrogant little creature."

"I love you both so much," Damien keens, the words bubbling up past any semblance of control, and Arum and Rilla both look towards him.

Rilla's smile is soft, understanding, and Arum looks nearly awestruck with it before he flicks his tongue, breathing something like a laugh. He shifts, pulling himself up to lean over Damien, crowding close enough to rub his cheek along Damien's, sweet and affectionate.

"I love the both of you more than I know how to say," he says in a voice that trembles with both emotion and laughter. "So perhaps-" he pulls back, his violet eyes so determined and full of undeniable desire, and he reaches a hand out, drawing Rilla closer as she laughs. "Perhaps, little humans, I should show you, instead."

[->]

#elle's fanfic #scattered on my shore #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #sir damien #lord arum #amaryllis of exile #pblease....im.. self conches

20 notes · View notes

stranger-who-writes-fiction · 4 years

Text

SO HEY, EPISODE 5x13

Crops? Watered. Skin? Clear. Fifth Dimensional Imp? Redeemed, and here to help our Kryptonian Sunshine Child Learn Some Much-Needed Lessons on this Very Special Episode.

SPOILERS!

NEW AND IMPROVED MXY! He is excellent. Loved every second he was on screen, he had such a great dynamic with Kara, and the ENTIRE OPENING SCENE WITH ALL THREE OF THEM WAS HILARIOUS.

Give the Danvers Sisters More Comedy Scenes, Please

Man when he just walks across the furniture.

SO GOOD

And then J’onn w/ his casual ‘Hey girls.’ SPAAAAACE DAAAAAD

MAGIC PAINTBALL!

(Man Supergirl’s Attic podcast just nailed that, huh?)

Loved all of the different viewing methods--Projector! MyxFlyx! Betamyx! Also the popcorn bucket gag, and how Kara’s just like: ‘...Yeah alright.’

And then we get to the first of the alternate timelines and OKAY, OKAY I see now why they need the bad wigs...they gotta match pre-existing footage, FINE.

But UUUUuuuUUUUgh bad wigs. BAD.

You know what else is bad? Lena blabbing Kara’s secret to Sam!

Because KARA DIES.

And you know...we’ve seen Kara in some pretty gruesome fights, we’ve seen her in a coma, we’ve seen her die before but there is something final and painful and AWFUL about her flat-lining in the DEO.

AND THEN ALEX AT THE GRAVE???!??!?!?!

*openly weeps* *just like Mxy and Kara*

Look I don’t wanna keep harping on the wigs but good grief, Kara’s ‘Supergirl’ hair looks like it walked right of the set of a 70s sitcom.

Right, okay, so the chat with Lena! I sincerely doubt that Lena would’ve let anyone help her with Sam. Just sayin’.

‘I had to go through that alone!’ Yeah, Lena, that’s kinda your MO, and you do it even when people level with you.

(As much as I enjoyed the cathartic release provided by this episode, I still found some of the dialogue in regards to Lena a bit...trying.)

(Like this part, and Sam insisting that the Kryptonite manufacturing was totally fine! No big deal!)

(Reader, it was not fine, and was, in fact, a Big Deal.)

“Wait you’re skipping a lot!”

“So much exposition.”

Awww, Beard-of-Wisdom Mon-El is back!

And BOY OH BOY, HE’S GOT SOME WORDS O’ WISDOM INDEED.

“You know Lena and I have a lot in common.” MMMMM-HMMMMMM.

In that both your story line and Lena’s were/are extremely tedious

But no, for real, it’s a really lovely exchange.

“You deserve the same compassion that you show others.”

THREE CHEERS FOR OL’ WISE-BEARD!

Also, happy to report that the wig works best in the rain!

And speaking of Raineign... (har, har)

More Death! A recurring theme, with these alternate realities!

So, basically:

Back at the loft! Loved the Friends-esque VHS titles

The One Where Lena Moves to National City

The One Where Lillian Admits She Loves Lena

The One Where Supergirl and Lena Fight the Nanobot Lady

And then we get the ‘First Meeting’* reveal and may I just say, the score? Lovely.

*Not really the first meeting but ‘Third-ish meeting that was retroactively added in “Confidence Women”’ is a bit of a mouthful, so.

“I have to recall all those alien detective devices because they clearly don’t work!” Or...you could recall them...because they’re bad.

Just a thought.

Love 20s news announcer Mxy and the newspaper spins.

I also love that this particular timeline is a direct response to...a specific corner of the SG fandom, and their ongoing complaints. ‘Everything would be better if Kara told Lena right away!’ Well, no, actually! It puts a huge target on Lena, just like Kara feared. ‘Why does Kara even need a secret identity? Almost everyone knows, it’s barely a secret, why bother!?’ because IT PUTS A HUGE TARGET ON KARA’S LOVED ONES, JUST LIKE KARA FEARED.

Alsoooooo the one out there going hard for and stanning the Luthor/Super partnership...is a fanatical cult leader.

Which I’m sure means nothing and isn’t a thinly-veiled commentary, or anything.

...Anyways!

EVERYONE DIES AGAIN.

And THEN we go to the darkest timeline.

Love Kara’s, “You know what? No thanks. Nope. Don’t need to see it.”

And then Dreamer! With a face scar! And as we all know, face scars are always code for Dystopian AUs.

KELLY WITH THE SHIIIIIEEEEELD AGAIN!

And it looks like the good guys are winning their respective fights! But then METALLO!LENA JUST STRAIGHT UP TRIES TO MURDER KARA.

To quote Kara: No thanks. Nope.

But Mxy gets Hat’s hat and they’re safely back in Kara’s loft AND THEN

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEEEEEENNNNNNNN:

After 13 long, (loooooong) episodes, we finally get some gol-dang character development.

♫Aaaaaat laaaaaaaaaast, the skiiiiiies above are bluuu-uuueee ♫

And not just any character development! KARA CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

THE CONTENT I CRAVE.

It was so good. EVERYTHING. SPELLED OUT. CLEARLY.

Whoop, wait, before we dig into that: Redemption for Mxy.

Who is now a FRIEND and not a creepy stalker! Which, lemme tell ya, really put a damper on the otherwise fun energy that a fifth dimension imp from the Silver Age should bring.

I am very Pleased with these developments, is what I’m saying.

Okay, back to the good stuff. I’m just gonna quote it in full:

I recognize I made a mistake in hiding my identity from you for so long, but the past is the past, and I can’t change it. Forgive me or not, that’s your choice. Just like it’s your choice to work with Lex. I’m done blaming myself for your bad decisions...from now on, you’re accountable for your own actions. If you decide to forgive me, I will be there for you. But if you continue to work with Lex, if you go through with whatever it is the two of you are planning, I will do everything in my power to stop you, just like I would any other villain.

Amazing. Spectacular. Brilliant.

And to top it all off? SPACEFAM CONTENT. AND JUNK FOOD! A WINNING COMBO.

Kara’s happy face is so cuuuuuuute and the french fry toast!

And EL MAYARAH! STRONGER TOGETHER!

It’s just so beautiful.

So in conclusion! I think, given the constraints set up by the season long arc, this was a really nice way to tie it into that story but also honor a lot of what came before. I know a lot of folks wish it had focused more on the Spacefam, and that we had more Season One call backs, and that’s fair, but personally, I didn’t mind it. (Because we got a beautiful Superfriends reunion in 5x11/5x12 and Eliza is coming back at SOME point in the future so I am Content. XD)

...Also let us all be grateful that it didn’t fall within one of the crossovers, like Arrow’s 100th episode. Oof.

#SG post #long post #supergirl spoilers #supergirl 5x13 spoilers

60 notes · View notes

theda-rison · 3 years

Text

Thursday Night Link Roundup - December 3rd

Hello! Happy end of Nanowrimo! I hope you won, and if you didn’t win, I hope you learned something important that will help you win next year :)

So I had to cool it on the Thursday Night Link Roundups for a bit; I just didn’t have the time to devote to arranging and having opinions about stuff (and then writing them down for you guys to read) between work and Nano. But, at least until the stuff for my Steno Keyboard gets here, I have nothing to do now (aside from work, but it’s not like I do that for fun or anything).

Anyway, let’s jump into it. *bad green screen of me jumping into the internet, à la a 90s infotainment VHS about the internet*

If you haven’t already watched it, here’s the third part of Ms Luna Oi’s series on Dialectical Materialism. After all the things she discussed in the other two videos, she discusses the three basic rules of Materialist Dialectics.

youtube

Since it’s been a while since I watched this video (because of my unintended break) so I can’t remember too much detail on it, but it is a good video.

This video… I can’t tell how old the two people in it are: they go back and forth between sounding like old codgers (at least) in their 50s and “the youngin’” because of all the Minecraft references. I am so confused. Untitled Engineering Disaster Podcast-like content Episode 1: The Silver Bridge Disaster by donoteat01, which later went on to become a podcast called Well There’s Your Problem, which has its own youtube channel.

youtube

I had no idea about all of this stuff about bridge building. I knew some of the details of the Silver Bridge disaster, but I didn’t know about the eyebars (or I forgot about it) or the rocker towers. Like… I can’t imagine the thought process that goes into “what is the towers themselves moved?” when like… normally they don’t? I’m not an engineer but it seems like such a weird way to solve a problem. “What if this gigantic, heavy thing weren’t solid and needed to be held up by these precarious chain links?” is not a thought I could imagine crossing my mind even if I were an engineer.

Also: the sheer inanity of making something that you don’t have the technology to detect problems (the hairline crack in the eyebar).

I can’t understand why no one blamed the company who built the bridge, btw. They built a shit bridge and should have been sued.

When I was in my early 20s, I remember justifying my dropping out of graphic design “college” (it wasn’t) by saying something like, “Why the fuck would I want to spend my life convincing a bunch of people to buy shit they don’t need with money they don’t have?” when one of my parents’ friends told me I could have gone into advertising. Not the first time I’ve had thoughts of a popular philosopher in my youth without having heard of them beforehand. (“Do I exist because I think? IF I STOP THINKING, WILL I STOP EXISTING??” suddenly popped into my head and caused an existential crisis for a few days when I was in junior high.)

youtube

Tom Nicholas explains the Society of the Spectacle, which partly involves the explanation of how advertisement companies are selling an image rather than an actual product. Trying to game the “Keeping up with the Joneses,” idea, if you will.

I, like many kids, read Dr. Seuss books. They might be one of the things that really made me love the English language, just because of how he bent and shaped it into the amazing poetry that went along with his strange and wonderful art. I distinctly remember reading And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry street in the grade “before I was supposed to be reading it” and being asked by the teacher how I was even understanding it (I guess the rest of the class was on “See Spot Run” type of books or whatever). I can’t even remember my answer. Probably a shrug and then wishing they would leave me alone so I could get back to reading, lol.

youtube

But Dr. Seuss had even weirder art that I can appreciate now as an adult. Solar Sands’ video, The Secret Darker Art of Dr. Seuss, shows off some of his “Midnight Paintings” that he painted for himself. I need to see if there was ever an art book published of all or any of it, because they’re so interesting. You can still see his strangely whimsical style, many but with darker colors that almost make them seem more… horror-ish.

I forgot that I had the first part of this ProZD video in the list before this. Here’s the next part.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sasdCg4da4o

Ahh…. I miss Vine.

Songs of the Week:

KILL BILL (The Lonely Shepherd) by Luca Stricagnoli

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6ghK-z3qsY

I don’t know what the contraption is that this guy made, but it sounds really cool in the song. Also, props for making a whole little set to play in, lol.

Lamb of God - Grace (hurdy gurdy cover) by Michalina Malisz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W-s6yHlbtA

I will admit, I do not listen to Lamb of God, I’m not sure why but it’s a band I’ve never gotten into. However, I love the way this song sounds on Hurdy Gurdy and I might check out the actual band now. If I don’t like it, I’ll just listen to this cover over and over.

Also, how is there not a Doom Metal or Ambient Black Metal hurdy gurdy band yet? Some amazing musician, please make this.

Djent 2018 by Jared Dines

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYrN7EIeXmY

I don’t know if I’ve ever even heard a Djent song before. Like, I could not tell you the name of a Djent band, and then all of a sudden - I guess around 2018 - my feed was filled with people making fun of it. I don’t know, I like the way this song sounds at least? Maybe there’s something about the vocals that makes it suck? I have no idea. I have no desire to investigate further.

I don’t know, it’s giving me strong Gojira vibes in certain spots.

Unlike my desire for a Doom Metal (or Ambient Black Metal) hurdy gurdy band, I’m fine with just this.

5 notes · View notes

fiovske · 4 years

Note

I was checking out d20's yt channel and i wasnt sure what to watch or where to start. I wanted to ask if you had any recs to start with? Im working on distancing myself from cr too lately and d20 sounds good.

OOOOHH I STARTED WITH FANTASY HIGH!!! AND WAS HOOKED RIGHT AWAY!!! I'm on like ep7 right now and so far the humour the friendships the characters themselves and their dynamics w each other... everything has been honestly SO GOOD. I think they got all of fantasy high junior year on YouTube already and The Unsleeping City is being updated to youtube regularly every Friday or so. there much be two/three episodes out already. You could watch this one shot heist thing d20 did w the McElroy brothers and another one shot (four eps, I think) they did of like, an Evil Campaign that had Matt Mercer in it too!! it comes to me highly recommended as well, even tho I haven't watched it yet.

I am excited to watch A Crown of Candy eventually (it's got extremely good political intrigue game of thrones done Right vibes but with their pcs-npcs... it's all.... candy. like. idek what to SAY their range is just Like That LMAO.) and then Pirates of Leviathan as well (it has marisha and Matt too!! as pcs in that Campaign), I'm considering signing up to their Dropout bc their content is honestly very good and it's nice to have rep that's absolutely outright and forthright so we don't have to second guess or anything tbh, Fantasy High is an excellent starting point to get the vibe of their playstyle! I have also started listening to Partizan by Friends At The Table (it's a podcast) and off the bat, the rep w the pcs itself is just downright. right there. absolutely fantastic stuff. the introductions will tell you what to expect. the worldbuilding is very extensive and the trailer itself had me hooked. I'm failiarizing myself w the characters first but I keep the transcript open in front of me while listening to them bc I'm still getting the hang of their game, which is ttrpg but it isn't d&d it's on a beamsaber medium and I don't know much about it (yet) but I'm slowly understanding it better w the help of transcripts bc visual media helps me get a better grip on things. I'm also watching the Owl House lately!! it's been a riot too and it's lighthearted and fun and also has canon wlws who are the protagonist and complicated sibling dynamics so I'm excited to see where it goes as well!

coming back to your original question, I'd recommend starting w fantasy high. junior year is all out on YouTube and the cast are amazing in the portrayal of their characters and getting into all sorts of hijinks you're going to love them, that is a promise!

#mail tag #d20 is so fckin funny dude sometimes i've had to pause bc i was laughing too hard #and brennan is a excellent dm but also a dm sent from hell and i love him sm #all the pc-npc interactions and fckin iconic it's just. really good.#fantasy high is a god starting point at least it was for me!#its really fun and absolutely hilarious i love those kids so much!!#like you learn so MUCH abt the pcs in the introductions itself where they interact with their parents right before laving for school #watch it man its so fun.#i also got episofe 2'd and now i have to watch this show forever #it doesn't disappoint i promise! have fun!

5 notes · View notes

cherrincity · 4 years

Text

Cherrin City Soundbytes Casting Call

Hi all! I’m making a new podcast and I’d love to get some voice actors in it! Tag a friend you think would be interested!

Cherrin City Soundbytes is an anthology series about the lives of people living in the world's most prominent city of superheroes. Ranging from annoyingly mundane to cosmically fantastic, these stories try to capture the reality of this world's average. What get to be mundane when a bug alien from outer space saves your life? What is moral when a laid off employee tries to drown only the financial district? Most people are just trying to get by, and this is what we get to hear. As the name implies, these episodes will mostly be short. The show focuses on the humanity of people, despite their fantastical environment. The episodes will tend to be kind of... somber, but not devoid of hope.

Cherrin City Soundbytes is a Piece of Cake Podcasting Network Production! As such, we highly encourage Black, Indigenous and Mixed voice actors, as well as other actors of colour to audition, though others may do so as long as they respect the listed identities of the characters. Again to reiterate: please audition for parts that reflect your identity. For example, if you are not South Asian, do not audition for the specifically South Asian roles. If you are not nonbinary, please do not audition for the specifically nonbinary roles. Alternatively, if a role has its gender listed as open, that means any person of any gender may audition for that role. There are 17 different roles, so please stick to the ones that fit you or can accommodate you! In addition to this, please be 18 years of age or older to audition.

For each audition, you may do up to three takes of each line. Please compile them all into a single .mp3 or .wav file. If you are accepted for this podcast, we will be doing remote recordings with mandatory synchronous table reads. Please audition with the recording space you will use if hired. These roles will be paid $40 CAD over paypal.

Content warnings for this year of production include: violence, foul language, body horror, death, kidnapping, manipulation, body dysphoria and large insects. Not all warnings apply for every role; please feel free to send an email to [email protected] for more information or for any other questions you may have. Auditions will be open until October 31st, 2020.

Please note that all auditions must be sent through the google form link below. Any auditions sent to the email will be invalid. Feel free to audition for as many roles as you are able to fulfill, but please submit a new form and audio file for each role you

In summary:

17 roles open for auditions

Only audition for roles that fit your identity or can accommodate you

Be 18 years of age or older

Send us up to 3 takes per each line, all in one file

This podcast will be remotely recorded

These roles will be paid $40 CAD over paypal

Auditions open until October 31st, 2020

Please only send auditions through this link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc2kVXIFTY9IOiNvRSQWvIrB8LiIrI46xFOeFtuq2sb6xBlVA/viewform?vc=0&c=0&w=1&flr=0&gxids=7628

Roles

The Cherrin University Radio Host

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: South Asian

Age: Late teens, early twenties

Description: The Cherrin university radio host is an anonymous young woman who feels passionately for under discussed causes. Whether or not she does anything for them outside of ranting on a late night radio show is a bit of a sore spot, but no matter the issue she takes it seriously.

Lines:

It is 2:55 am, which means that it is technically the Cherrin City day of Super Powered Individuals Remembrance. Created by the city about 4 years ago, on paper the day exists to remember every super powered individual who has died. In action, the city uses it to lionize the dead members of their private task force and coerce more people into joining it.

The problem with being perceivable is that people look at you. And when people look at you, and they keep looking at you, you start to get recognized. (long pause) That has not always been a pleasant thing, in my experience.

Solla

Gender: Written as an alien who identifies as Female, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: several thousand years old, but doesn't really show it

Description: Solla is a dedicated member to the Cherrin City Starlight Watchers Squad, and is accustomed to working with her team both in bringing down extra terrestrial villains and tackling the enthusiastic and seemingly-ceaseless questions of the Cherrin City press. Polite, patient to a fault and kind of the mom of her group.

Lines:

Yes, I am Solla of the Cherrin City Starlight Watchers Squad. Yes I am an alien, and yes I know English, among several other languages. I appreciate all nice comments, but if you'd like to say something more in depth, you can email the city.

I am so sorry, but I have to go.

Henry Austin Bolte

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties

Description: A gay, recently graduated costume designer trying to make it in Cherrin in the early 2000s. Also recently dumped, and kinda lonely. Very good at what he does, but uncomfortable with discussions of money.

Lines:

(sighs) Look, Vee, I don't care if this is some sex thing or whatever, I just need to know how you intend to use the suit so I can make it appropriately. You don't want some combo of kevlar and body armour if you're trying to fuck someone, right?

You did it. You're the one who did it. Oh my god.

Gender: Nonbinary (using he/they pronouns)

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties

Description: An ambitious young person, also recently graduated. He's got big plans for his future and is not above manipulating other people to get what he wants. Hates being called desperate. Out of all the morally gray characters in this casting call, this person is the most 'super villain' out of all of them.

Lines:

I am not desperate. I am not a lucky, hapless fool. I am deliberate and calculating, and clever!

If you do anything to lose that respect... well. I know where to express my concerns.

Devon Milligan

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: Mid teens to early twenties

Description: Devon is a loyal young man part of the Cherrin City East End Exemplars. He has difficulty reacting decisively to surprises and can be slightly stubborn. But he appreciates honesty.

Lines:

How does getting up at 5am help out your scheme?

So you're all about making life better for yourself and no one else?

I-SPI

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: late teens to mid twenties. Older than Devon

Description: Less a supervillain and more a regular criminal or henchwoman who happens to have very passive super powers. Skilled and clever, she only feels like opening up when she is most desperate. Extremely cynical.

Lines:

C'mon. You're a superhero, aren't you? Shouldn't you stay in top physical form in case another supervillain wants to fall into your lap?

If that's what it has to be; if that's the only choice I'm offered, then I sure as hell'll take it. Who else is gonna care for me? You?

Bernard North

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Early thirties

Description: Has had a small taste of power and now refuses to give it up. Has stopped caring about the feelings of others. Please note that this character has only one line.

Line:

Feel free to exhaust yourself, I-SPI. You've already proven yourself incorrigible. But it doesn't matter, now that I have you in my possession. You and I are going to go very far together.

Hannah Nathan

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Late thirties

Description: The host of Musicity, a tv show about local musicians in Cherrin City, Hannah has worked very hard to be in this position. While she carries herself as having seen it all, she still cares about the comfort and state of her guests.

Lines:

Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode of Musiciscity! I'm your host, Hannah Nathan, and today, we here in the studio are joined by Cherrin City's very own, Alta Reyes!

Oh my god, Alta! Alta, are you alright? Can we get a doctor on set?

Alta Reyes

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Latina

Age: Early twenties

Description: The lead singer of Raise The Population, she currently finds herself in the wrong body, and in the wrong world. Despite these strange circumstances, she's doing her best to get her group back home.

Lines:

Me and my band mates, we were just working at getting known and getting better at making music. We crawled our way up from being nobodies begging for views on our music video to finally, actually getting a hit song!

The further I get away from the life I knew, the harder I cling to the things I do know, even as they keep changing. This place honestly feels the closest to home so far.

Brandi

Gender: Trans woman

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Open

Description: The host of Public! This! Closure!, a new radio show about people hashing out their interpersonal problems on the airwaves. She is always very composed and attempts to be impartial. (She also really wants this show to be a success and is always on the lookout for more people to have on it.)

Lines:

Wait, you kissed her?

And it looks like that's all the show we have time for today, folks! Join us again next time, here on Cherrin City's very own c98.7 for more Public! This! Closure!

Virginia 'Gina' Jones

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties, early thirties

Description: She went on a lovely date with Josephine, and decided to go on, Public! This! Closure! the new radio show about people hashing out their interpersonal problems on the airwaves. She hopes this show will be able to reconnect her with Josephine and that she can find out why Josephine ghosted her after their date.

Lines:

...So you could remember the show you were watching, but not the woman you went out with?

Well, I hope you do. I mean, I don't know much about you, but even despite that, I... I want to see you again.

Josephine Georges

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: Mid twenties, early thirties

Description: Went on a nice date with Gina, but almost immediately afterward, had her whole world upended. Is currently distracted with other pressing matters, but is absolutely willing to continue dating Gina.

Lines:

I've listened to the show before. (sighs) So, who else has beef with me?

And I didn't think I would be meeting a lot of potential Sparker dates on an alien planet!

Gender: Nonbinary (any pronouns, but initially presents as male)

Ethnicity: Open

Age: 15

Description: An orphaned young person looking for his place in the world. Goes on a very emotional journey, but has extremely villanous tendencies. Is very good at using his super power. Kinda lonely.

Lines:

You steal. That's what you do, isn't it? I mean, the only way anyone gets easy money is by stealing it.

I said, are you fucking kidding me? We literally live in a world where people get to call themselves whatever the hell they want, stupid shit like Resolute and Nightlight and SuperStar and you draw the line at The End?

Isabella

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: 19

Description: An orphan who lived in the same group home as TE but aged out of it. Had a good relationship with TE, sees him as a younger sibling. Is struggling to find satisfaction with her own life, in terms of her (illegal) career, her (nonexistent) love life, and her (nonexistent) social life. Also has a superpower, but it's rather weak.

Lines:

Well, it can get a little more hostile than that, but never more complicated. And you seem pretty capable with your power. We could use someone as capable as you.

Look, I've been tolerating a lot of your... you-ness because I got it, sort of. We lived together, we had the same traumatic experiences... and I care about you, I really do.

Guiltmaster

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Late twenties

Description: He's a villain with the power to make people feel extreme amounts of guilt and perhaps other things as well. An intelligent man who has lost interest in trying to make it in life through legal methods, but someone who never lost his deep sense of empathy for others.

Lines:

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help him at all. So we waited, hoping for someone to find us. But, by the time they finally found us, there was no more us.

What you feel is what you feel. It's real and worthy and you cannot make it stop by assuming that because worse things have happened, what happened to you is not valid.

Pat

Gender: Open

Ethnicity: East Asian

Age: Open

Description: Someone who is going to therapy and trying to get over their guilt. Uncomfortable opening up to others, but is also unwilling to deny strangers' questions.

Lines:

Yeah? Did you ever kill your entire family?

All of them died, because I thought they didn't care about what I cared about.

The Interviewer

Gender: Open

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Open

Description: Despite the fact that filming is all but banned in Cherrin City, this interviewer is an out-of-towner attempting to make a documentary about super powered individuals. They're hoping that a certain real estate agent will be able to provide juicy and shocking details about her super powered clientele.

Lines:

Sounds horrific.

Oh my god, Larry you would not believe the waste of time I just had.

#voiceactor #voice acting #podcasts #audio fiction #audio drama #superheroes #cherrin city #cherrin city soundbytes

1 note · View note