#i didnt color the second part of this LOVE AND LIGHT

[emilnikos]

cesares

#i didnt color the second part of this LOVE AND LIGHT #the cabinet of dr caligari #the cabinet of doctor caligari #cesare the somnambulist #Cesare Cabinetofdrcaligari my scrimblo bimblo #bigtop burger #zomburger #cesare bigtop burger #conrad bigtop burger #doctor bigtop burger #frances bigtop burger #🧪evil art

[rillils]

i hate my angst loving self so much sometimes

think about a confused and not-entirely-there bucky screaming at steve, asking him why he left him there on the snow, asking why he didnt come back for him, telling him how long he waited for him to come and save him

FINE HONEY, YOU WANTED ANGST, I'LL GIVE YOU ANGST. AND I'LL CRY ABOUT IT 😭

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, tw: suicidal thoughts, very mild gore, nightmares, post-catws, angst is definitely not my thing what am i even doing here asjdhsjdh wordcount: 3815 a side note: while the language here is used in accordance with steve's profound sense of guilt, it doesn't reflect the author's personal beliefs on the matter - aka IT'S NOT HIS FAULT SKDLKS MY POOR BABY 😭😭

It always starts off quiet, like the darkened hall of a theater in the split second between the curtain opening over the stage and the actor’s first line. Silence, please. The show is about to begin.

The scenery changes sometimes, but it’s the mountains Steve sees most often in his dreams: the soulless gray of stone, and the blinding white of snow coating everything, from the peaks, to the valley, to the copse of fir trees, huddled together like children in the cold. Just like he remembers from that day in the Alps. No one knows how to torture him better than his own mind.

The wind rises sharp and icy, lifting sleets of frost with it, and a chill rolls down Steve’s spine. It’s not the cold, though.

It’s fear, congealing like a dead weight in the pit of his stomach. The show is about to begin. And he’s watched it all to the end countless times before.

“Steve?”

His head whips around, and Bucky’s right there, like he always is. A fixed point, unchanged, unmovable, his boots sinking soundlessly in the thick layer of snow beneath them.

He looks so beautiful, so oddly alive against the backdrop of his desolate place; a man at the peak of his youth, the pink of his cheeks nearly glowing next to the deep blue of his uniform, his hair combed to a movie-star shine, parted neatly to the side. It’s cruel, how perfect he is. Preserved like a cherished heirloom in Steve’s mind, never fading, never aging; a living picture, soft and rosy-cheeked. He belongs in a dance hall, in a crowded street, in the cheerful chaos of the fourth of July, in the color and noise of fireworks, in the tangle of ooh’s and aah’s under the firelit sky. He doesn’t belong here. But he’ll never leave this place.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky’s head tilts to the side, confused. “You left a long time ago.”

“Bucky,” Steve tries to say, but the name dies on his lips.

The light in Bucky’s eyes dulls to a flicker, carrying a heavy gloom over his features. He looks so sad, all of a sudden. He never looked sad when Steve was around, Steve remembers that – and Steve never learned how to make it better.

He can never make this better.

“Steve.” All the color’s draining from his cheeks, quickly, leaving only the paleness of death behind. His eyes – they pierce right through Steve, empty and cold, so cold, and Steve shudders from head to toe.

“I waited for you for so long,” Bucky’s blue lips say, with a mournful lilt Steve used to hear in his mother’s voice when she would sing to him, all those heart-twisting songs about a home she’d never see again. “Where were you?”

Something dark spreads from within across the pristine blue of Bucky’s coat, dripping slowly from his shoulder, black like ink–

blood

– smothering the rich color underneath, reaching down, down–

he fell

– down along Bucky’s arm, until it’s streaking the back of his hand–

blood, it’s blood, he fell, he’s going to fall

– pooling ruby-dark at Bucky’s fingertips.

Soon the drops will spill all over the fresh snow, staining it red, too.

“You left me here.”

Steve can’t breathe.

“Why did you leave me here, Steve?”

Steve can’t breathe.

“I’m so sorry,” he gasps, and the next breath stings in his lungs, ice-cold and merciless, “I’m so sorry, Bucky, so sorry. It’s all my fault, all my fault,” he chants, hands clawing at his own chest. But what will it help? He can’t undo this. He can never undo this. “I should have held onto you,” he sobs brokenly, and it’s strange, how he can never tell when he starts crying in his dreams, but he always feels the tears streaming down his face, real as his grief is real, clogging up his throat. “I never should have let you fall.”

Bucky steps forward, dark blood trailing behind him on the ground. Steve’s heart jolts like a spooked horse, pounding loud and fast with adrenaline.

“Why didn’t you look for me?”

He sounds so gentle. So devastatingly sad.

“Did I mean so little to you?”

Steve shakes his head, No, no, no, everything, you meant everything, always, I swear, tears flicking off the edge of his jaw to be lost in the snow-packed wind. “I t-thought you were dead,” he sobs, like he’s still curled up into the blown-up flank of that train, like he’s still got his face pressed to the ice-burn of its metal and praying for everything to end, now, before reality can reshape itself around him and tell him that Bucky is gone forever.

Something mean slithers behind Bucky’s eyes. “And you would have left my body to the wolves?” he says, his voice dangerously sharp over the moaning wind. “You didn’t think I deserved a proper burial?”

It’s snowing on the outside, but it’s inside that Steve feels ice gripping at his guts.

“You could have sent me home to my folks.”

It burns.

“To my sisters.”

It burns so bad, the shame crackling under his skin.

“At least then my family would have had a body to cry over. But it never even occurred to you, did it.”

Steve’s tongue feels glued to the roof of his mouth. “I’m so sorry,” he pushes out uselessly, “I’m so sorry, I should’ve–”

“Or did you think that I was like you?” Bucky presses on, a cruel sneer forming on his white face. “Is that it? You fooled yourself so nice, you really thought I was like you? Like poor little Stevie? With no one left in the world who would miss me? No one who would even care if I was dead or alive?” He pauses, lips curling as though a new and amusing thought only just occurred to him. “Oh. Stevie, no. Did you think you were my whole world? Are you really that pathetic?”

“No,” Steve rasps, swallowing back tears and still drowning, drowning in them, “I never thought, I never– Please, Buck, I’m so sorry–”

Bucky’s silhouette blinks in and out of sight, and when he comes back, one moment later, he’s standing right before Steve, so close he need only reach out to touch him. His sneer is gone, but the depth of hurt in his eyes slices at Steve’s heart just as sharply.

“They took me, Stevie. You left me behind and they took me. Look,” he says, showing Steve the torn flesh where his left arm used to be – it was here just a moment ago, it was, Steve could swear it, it was right here – the bloody pulp of it, a frayed shard of white bone jutting out through the ripped muscle, sickening. His mouth, when Steve can finally look back, is curled back to show his teeth, the smile almost kind if it didn’t feel like a knife tearing at Steve’s own flesh. “This is all your doing. Isn’t it pretty?” Bucky tells him sweetly. “Tell me it’s pretty, Steve. Tell me it’s pretty.”

Without warning, Bucky’s hand darts up to clamp around Steve’s chin, gripping his face viciously. His touch is like ice, searing painfully into Steve’s skin, and Steve staggers in place, helpless but to look right into Bucky’s wide, desperate eyes.

“I was so scared,” Bucky whispers, hot tears spilling over his deathly pale cheeks. “I was locked in that place for so long, I couldn’t tell day from night anymore. It was so cold, and I was so alone, so alone without you, Stevie.”

His fingernails claw into Steve’s skin until they’re drawing blood, and Steve can only sob, can only take it, can only hope this will sate the hollowness he sees in Bucky’s eyes, if only for an instant. But it won’t, he knows it won’t. It never does.

If he could kneel at Bucky’s feet and beg for his forgiveness, keep him warm with the heat of his own tears, wash the blood away–

“I thought I was going to die. Every time they dragged me back to that table, I would tell myself, this is it. This is how it’s going to end,” Bucky tells him gently, nodding his head. “Sometimes, I even thought I should end it myself, before they could. But do you know what the worst part was? I didn’t die. No matter how bad I wanted it, none of the stuff they put me through ever did it. Hope kept me alive,” he snarls, soft through his bloodied smile. “That was my curse. I believed in you. I thought you would find me, save me. I told them you would come for me, and they laughed in my face, Stevie! They knew better.”

The sound that spills from Bucky’s mouth is the twisted, poisoned imitation of a laugh, emptied of all feeling, sharp like fingernails scraped across a blackboard.

“Don’t say that,” Steve whimpers, shaking his head, “please, don’t say that, no.” And he’d cover his ears if he could, lock that ugly truth out of his mind forever, but no muscle in his body will move until Bucky’s done with him.

“Do you know what happened then, Steve? You do know, don’t you?” Bucky asks, thrusting his face into Steve’s until only mere inches separate the tips of their noses – his eyes staring into Steve’s, a creeping echo of insanity gleaming from their depths. “They took my arm first, and then they took everything else.”

Hell. This is Hell.

“Because of you.”

This is what true torment looks like. No fire and brimstone, no howling souls of the damned, no blazing hail raining down upon him.

“It was always because of you.”

Just him and Bucky’s ghost, and a winter that never thaws.

“Bucky...”

The snowstorm rises against him with violence, angry, roaring in Steve’s ears, spreading frost over his chest, his arms, his bare face, freezing the tears caught in his eyelashes. Quiet, it demands. Don’t you speak to me. You have no right to speak to me.

But the yawning hole in Steve’s chest won’t stop screaming at him, starved for forgiveness, for a respite, for a mercy he never earned.

“Please, Buck... please...”

Bucky’s hand guides him down, pushing him to his knees. He crouches over Steve, gaze locked with his, heedless of the blood dripping dark and thick between his fingers; leaning in like he’s about to share a secret.

“I held out until I just couldn���t anymore. I tried to be strong, for you,” Bucky says in a harsh whisper. “But you never came.” His face, twisted by grief, wet with new tears. Steve cups it in his palms, but it’s no use: he can’t soothe this hurt. It’s too late now.

“Bucky, Bucky, sweetheart, forgive me– please, forgive me...”

Bucky’s grip on him relents; his fingers smear red over Steve’s cheek, four bloody streaks, and he strokes his knuckles over them, unbearably gentle.

“I waited for you for so long,” he says, mournful. His face is as cold as ice between Steve’s hands, stinging, burning. “Why didn’t you look for me?”

It hurts, it hurts so bad, so deep inside Steve’s heart.

“Why didn’t you look for me?”

The wind surges up around them, rattling Steve’s bones from within. The snow’s soaking into his pants, swallowing up his knees, colder, colder, the blizzard’s smothering him, blinding him, only Bucky’s eyes bright in his vision, crying, accusing, screaming, screaming, screaming–

“WHY DIDN’T YOU LOOK FOR ME?”

-

Steve jerked awake in the darkness, gasping for breath, a handful of sheets clutched dangerously tight in his fist. He barely even registered the soft, alarmed noise coming from the other side of the bed.

“Steve? It’s all right, you’re safe now.”

His eyes scoured the dark bedroom frantically, fighting through the chilling veil of ice still creeping at the edge of his vision. His heart hammered loud like thunder in his ears, pulsing so wildly in his throat, he thought for a moment that it would burst out of his body.

“Steve.”

Where was he?

The mountains–

“It was just a dream. You’re safe now, I promise. You’re home.”

His gaze focused on the only source of light: the faint glow filtering in through the blinds, the familiar orange hue of the street lights in their neighborhood, casting a striped pattern on the floor. A rug, there was a rug there – and a pair of slippers flicked just a bit too far from the bed.

“Come back to me, baby.”

The crumpled lumps of two discarded socks, that never made it to the hamper – oh, Bucky hated it when he did that.

“Sweetheart, can you look at me?”

A flicker of white–

– snow–

– Alpine, uncurling from her favorite spot and slipping soundlessly out of the room.

“Can you look at me? Steve.”

He turned his head towards the sound, staring wide-eyed into the shadows until finally, the outline of Bucky’s body emerged, sitting only an arm’s length away from him.

“That’s it, that’s good, Stevie.”

There was kindness in his voice, but his brow was creased with worry. His torso was half-twisted towards Steve, his body poised as though ready to reach out for him, but Bucky hadn’t touched him yet. Good, that was good. No. It hurt. That hurt.

Steve swallowed.

“Breathe with me, sweetheart. Can you do that? For me? Slow and easy, c’mon, with me.”

It was only then that Steve became aware of his own heavy breaths, the harsh sound of which filled up the room, gasp after gasp. He let go of the sheets and lay his hand on his own chest, where he could feel his pounding heartbeat, and tried to match Bucky’s calm, measured breathing as best as he could. He thought he was going to throw up.

“That’s it, just like that,” Bucky encouraged him.

Bucky–

Something flashed before Steve’s eyes; a fragment of a pale white face, with sneering lips and blood-stained teeth, taunting him with its cruel laughter.

You left me behind and they took me.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It was just a dream, it wasn’t real.”

Bucky shifted minutely on the bed, and a fleck of light caught the metal plates of his arm, a silver gleam darting quickly in the night.

Steve’s chin trembled. His throat closed up.

They took my arm first, and then they took everything else.

The tears came back before he could stop them, gathering hotly behind his eyes, pressing urgently to spill over.

“Bucky,” he choked out, and in the next moment he was crawling into Bucky’s open arms, curling his shaking body into Bucky’s sturdy frame. Bucky cradled him close, rubbing a soothing hand between Steve’s shoulder blades as Steve sobbed freely, pouring all of his anguish in the crook of Bucky’s neck.

“W-when you fell,” Steve stammered pitifully, clutching at the back of Bucky’s t-shirt with the desperation of a drowning man, “I should have come looking for you, I should’ve been there, should’ve– should’ve brought you back, I–”

“No, no, Steve,” Bucky rumbled, rocking him gently in his arms, “don’t do this to yourself. Please, baby, I’m begging you.”

Steve shook his head no, hiding himself deeper into the nook offered by Bucky’s neck, just beneath the hinge of his jaw. His chest felt too tight, too full – like a balloon filled with water and straining to contain it, the paper-thin skin tense to the point of bursting.

“I should have come for you, they – they never would have taken you, I wouldn’t have let them,” he stumbled on helplessly, “I would have died first! God, I would’ve... I would have died first, I swear, Buck, I swear...”

Bucky stroked his hand over Steve’s hair, kissing the spot above the shell of his ear, dark with cold sweat. Steve felt the dampness of it across his whole body, under the clinging cotton of his pyjamas, the unpleasant moisture cooling on his skin and leaving him to shudder in Bucky’s embrace.

“Look at me,” Bucky called softly. It was a simple request, laced with just the same gentleness Bucky would use sometimes to coax Alpine into his arms, but still Steve felt panic pool in his stomach.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t bear to look Bucky in the eye, not like this. Not when the truth – Because of you. It was always because of you. – was out at last.

What a scam he was. A whole lifetime spent preaching bravery, and the one time it truly mattered, he couldn’t even be brave enough to face the consequences of his own mistakes.

Please, don’t hate me, he sobbed silently against Bucky’s neck. You should. You have every right to. But please... please...

“Sweetheart, please, look at me.”

It took more strength than Steve had ever even known he possessed, but slowly, hesitantly, he let himself be pulled out of his hiding spot, and lifted his gaze to meet Bucky’s, if only for a fleeting moment.

Bucky’s flesh hand reached up to cup his jaw, working his thumb tenderly over Steve’s skin to wipe his tears away – a sweet, but fruitless endeavor, as more salty tears rolled down Steve’s cheeks, relentless.

“The truth is, neither of us could have known I would survive that fall,” Bucky said.

Steve shook his head, his eyes screwed shut against the flood of fresh tears. “I should’ve tried anyway, I should have come to you. I should have been there with you.”

Bucky grasped him by the arms, barely squeezing at all. The force wasn’t in his touch; it was in his voice, quiet to match the nighttime gloom, but firm nonetheless.

“What if they had taken you, too? What if they’d made you like me, what then?” he said, an edge of desperation coloring his voice, as if he couldn’t bear the very thought. “Do you think you could have lived with yourself, if you’d woken up one day to find that you had the blood of innocents on your hands?”

Steve’s head snapped up then, heat flashing fiercely in his chest. “What would I have cared, when you were there with me!” he cried out, panting heavily in the wake of that outburst.

Perhaps he couldn’t call this bravery; but when Steve could breathe again, their eyes finally met again.

If he’d feared he would see hate, or disdain, or resentment looking back at him, he didn’t find any of those. What he did find instead, staring at him from Bucky’s ever-familiar face, was the stubborn mark of love, shimmering brightly in Bucky’s eyes.

“Of course you would have cared,” Bucky whispered fiercely, cradling Steve’s face in both of his hands. “It would have killed you, and it would have killed me too. I could have never, ever forgiven myself, if they’d gotten their filthy hands on you because of me.”

His voice wavered, heavy with the weight of unshed tears. Steve could see the glossy sheen of them, threatening to spill over Bucky’s cheeks any second now, and felt his own heart split in two at the sight.

“Bucky,” he rasped, wetly, clasping Bucky’s wrists with his own hands to hold onto them, turning his face into those beloved palms to kiss them helplessly, one and then the other. Bucky never stopped holding him.

“Listen to me,” he said urgently, “listen to me now. We can’t change the past. We can’t, Steve.” A new sob ripped itself painfully from Steve’s throat, one he couldn’t have helped if he wanted to. “We can’t. It’s done, it’s there, we can’t take it back. And God, do I wish we could, believe me. But I want you to hear me when I say this: I am so grateful for what we have now. In the present. Our present.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath that rippled through his whole frame, as he openly struggled to keep his words clear and his voice steady. He was always the braver one, Steve thought, thrusting one of his hands out to grab a fistful of Bucky’s t-shirt, right over his breastbone.

“Steve. God, could you have ever dreamed that we could have this? I never even dared to hope for something like it, not even on my best days.”

He paused. Steve clung to him, his chest tight with emotion.

“The way we got here... Would I have chosen that? If I’d been given a choice, would I have wanted it to happen like that? No, of course not,” Bucky continued. “But if you asked me now, would I do it all over again, just for a chance to be here with you? I would say yes.” Steve whimpered, shaking his head, tears rolling down his face; but Bucky held him firmly, looking him right in the eye and nodding just as stubbornly, a watery smile on his lips. “Yes, Steve. Yes. A million times yes.”

He broke at last, and Steve lost what little control he had of himself. He tugged Bucky forward by his shirt and threw his arms around him, crushing their bodies together as if his life depended on it. Bucky returned the embrace with that same urgency, holding him tight as Steve muffled his sobs against Bucky’s shoulder, and buried his face in Steve’s hair in return.

The pinprick-like sensation of Bucky’s tears wetting his skin, as Bucky trembled quietly against him, felt like a bruise to Steve’s naked heart.

“Forgive me,” he begged, and he couldn’t have said what it was that he was seeking forgiveness for: if the pain he had caused Bucky now, or the one he couldn’t prevent so long ago.

“There is nothing to forgive,” Bucky murmured in his ear, his voice thick. “But I’ll say it, if you need to hear it.”

“Please,” Steve whimpered.

Bucky hugged him impossibly closer. “I forgive you. Always, sweetheart.”

The tightness within Steve’s chest unraveled, and in that moment, he breathed anew. Relief washed over him – and he cried, and cried, like a person cries when they’re gifted with kindness for the first time in a very, very long time, he cried until he thought he’d exhausted all his tears.

Bucky laid them both back against his pillow, chest to chest, shushing Steve’s hiccupping breaths with whispers of sweet nothings, never once letting him go.

“All that’s left to do now,” he said softly then, pressing a kiss to Steve’s brow, “is for you to forgive yourself.”

Steve burrowed deeper into his warmth, spent.

It would take a long time for that, and a tough, strenuous walk on the tortuous path towards that healing place. In the meantime, though, he could wrap himself into the safety of Bucky’s arms, and slip into a dreamless sleep for once.

#stucky just stucky #stucky #stevebucky #rillers scribbles #I KNOW HONEY #THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WERE GOING FOR BUT I JUST HAD TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM #I SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO TOUCH ANGST I'M OUT OF MY DEPTH AGSDJAHDKAJSJDLASKDJ #give me fluff please 😭😭 #i need cuddles and smooches for my babies 😭😭 #oh my god i cannot #*lies on the floor* #ALSO HONEY I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[emerxshiu]

FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3

I AM SOOOO BACK

I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.

I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.

ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?

you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver

Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade

some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see

silly :3

fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it

thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)

also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day

Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk

ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned

background cuz i think it came out really pretty

doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...

also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing

I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything

Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol

I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual

Jambuhbye!

#art #fanart #kirby #kirby fanart #kirby gijinka #silly #digital art #firealpaca #fecto elfilis #fecto elfilis gijinka #my wife fecto elfilis and his new drip #yep changed them again #fecto elfilis lives in my head rent free 24/7 #fecto elfilis fanart #kirby and the forgotten land #katfl #katfl spoilers #katfl second anniversary #kirby and the forgotten land second anniversary #katfl fanart #kirby and the forgotten land fanart #please reach a lot of people i spent way too much effort on this drawing #kirby series #kirby elfilis #kirby of the stars #:3333 #:3 #digital artist #artists on tumblr #small artist

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Came up with another half-baked au. Calling it the Baby On Board AU bc i like puns

So through some uncalled for magic POOF! Luffy is surround by children (like age 4?) that are part him and part different members of his crew. You heard me right. In a single moment the entire strawhat crew became teen parents. To these guys:

Im taking name suggestions for all babies! Here's the Zoro x Luffy baby

She is a Daddy's Girl through and through. Zoro was beyond awkward at first but she melted his heart within the hour. He doesnt feel complete unless hes got his swords on one hip and her on the other. Wanted her to be a perfect mix of Luffy and Zoro so she got Luffy's eyes, curly hair, and freckles and Zoro's hair color, eye color, and ability to nap constantly. You often find her and Zoro sleeping in the shade with her cuddled up on his chest. They are adorable but Zoro clearly has no idea what to do with her so she gets away with everything

Luffy x Nami baby!

Now this little boy is quiet and Nami didnt even get experience with children when she was a child so they mostly stare at each other in the beginning. I dont have anything for their story yet

Luffy x Usopp!

TROUBLEMAKER. She's inherited Luffy's fearlessness and Usopp has never been more stressed in his life. When she's not with her siblings she's with one of her dads. She's Usopp's little helper

Sanji's baby!

She is the light of Sanji's life he dotes on her so much. He only calls her "Princess" and "My Lady" and she has him wrapped around her itty bitty finger. Sanji loves playing with her hair and she likes to have fairy tea parties while he's prepping dinner. Sanji goes mother bear when she's out of his sight. He will wax poetry about her to anyone who will listen. Sanji is that parent that cant go two seconds without talking about their child. His arms are always loaded up with gifts for her. He has no shame doing girly-girl stuff with her

HA HA YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS IT

YOU WERE WRONG

Koby x Luffy!

Koby is still with the Marines so he takes her with him. She has Luffy's appetite and Koby knows in that moment she's half Luffy. Eventually Garp finds out and of course he has to visit his great grandbaby. Helempo (however you spell his name) is out here sweating bullets while Garp is becoming the doting grandpa of the century in front of the whole crew. Koby is also stressed as hell because he's still a cadet and now he's a dad and now the vice admiral is invested in his daughter and its all a lot. Also his only sorta-friend is avoiding the baby like she's the plague because he has no idea how to interact with her (and he's jealous. Koby wont bunk with him on cold nights anymore bc he's already bunking with the baby. How else is he suppose to sneak totally platonic cuddles?!)

#hinacu opla #opla #baby on board au #one piece #zolu #lumani #lusan #i think #lusopp #lukoby #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #sanji #usopp #koby #x #hinacu au

[sleepysturnss]

LIPSTICK - Nate D.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

summary: you and nate have been dating for years, and you two are basically the perfect couple. nate decides to take a pitstop on the way home from shopping.

warnings: ALL FLUFF NO ANGST😍, kisses, cute ass flashbacks n some dancingg❤️

enjoy!! xx ❤️

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

i smiled, pinching the tip of a lipstick case, inspecting it before sighing and putting it back in its place.

“whats wrong with that one? i think itd look lovely on you ma.” my boyfriend, nate sighed, placing his hands on my shoulders as he walked up behind me.

“too dark.” i sighed, picking up a few more, repeating the process.

“too light”

“too sparkly.” i scrunched up my nose, shaking my head.

nate watched as i picked through the hundreds of lipstick shades and sizes, occasionally coming behind me and shoving his face into my neck, his way of telling me to hurry up.

“nate i promise ill be done soon” i mumbled, ruffling his brown hair through my red nails, he smiled, leaning into the touch.

he was such a needy boyfriend, like…almost anyone who knew him would think that he couldnt care less about physical touch or quality time, but i knew that he craved that shit.

anytime i was at his house, he was holding me, kissing me, doing anything he could to feel my body heat against his.

like a puzzle piece that just fit, and without him i was just an incomplete puzzle.

like i was almost whole, but there was one piece missing, right in the center.

i liked to say i hated it, his clingy behavior, but i dont think i could live life the same without it, its become part of my life.

nate was wrapped around my heart.

he held it in his soft hands, he could drop it at any moment, but i knew he wouldnt. he would never.

the second he got it, he swore to never let it go, and he stood by his word. he has for three years. ive never met anyone like nate, and id like to think he feels the same about me.

he always knows exactly what im thinking, he can read my thoughts like your reading them right now, its quite impressive actually.

its one of the things i admire most about him, and he doesnt really have to try.

“mama, look at this, it would match your pretty nails.” he smiled sweetly, grabbing a gold lipstick case, holding it up for me to see.

he flashed his puppy eyes at me, like a golden retriever.

i didnt even look at the color before i was handing it to the woman at the register. the look on his face was quite literally priceless, his smile was so cute and genuine there was no way i wouldve said no. it could be a green lipstick, and id have still gotten it.

“you didnt even look at it ma” he whined as i handed the woman my card,

“im sure its perfect nate. besides im just ready to be home.” i shrugged, taking the small bag from her and interlocking out arms.

he smiled, sighing softly, finally being able to get my full attention.

once we got in the car, i connected my phone to bluetooth, hitting shuffle on my playlist.

i smiled when the soft hum of the music play throughout his car, k, by cigarettes after sex.

the muffled rumbling of his worn down honda made the song even better.

his car.

it was the shittiest car i had ever seen.

but i loved it so much.

there were so many memories in this ugly ass car. i always gave him shit for it but i think id kill him if he ever thought about getting rid of it.

“i love this song.” i muttered, running my thumb over his hand. i hadnt even realized he was holding it, it just felt so natural.

“i know you do.” he smiled, glancing at me before shifting his gaze to the road.

“oh really?” i smirked, tilting my head.

“how?”

he rolled his eyes, “you know why.”

i smiled, “yeah i do.”

-

senior prom.

he took my hand, leading me out onto the gym floor.

“i fucking hate this.” i mumbled, scrunching up my nose at the smell of sweat, alcohol, and weed.

“i know mama, but you look so beautiful in that dress, and your perfume smells like heaven.” he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.

i could not feel my body. the ammount of nerves he gave me made me higher than any ammount of weed i had ever smoked.

i had the biggest crush on him.

i had the biggest crush on my boyfriend.

and he had the same feelings for me.

“i love cigarettes after sex” he mumbled, tearing me from my thoughts.

“what?” i hummed softly,

“i said i love cigarettes after sex.”

“me too” i smiled.

but i could tell that something had changed,

how you looked at me then.

-

i smiled at the memory, almost not realizing that he had skipped the turn onto his neighborhood.

“nate, you missed the…”

i paused, grinning at him as i realized what he was doing.

he smiled back at me, eventually parking his car by an abandoned barn house.

the house we had passed so many times when we were sixteen.

the house that i had always dreamed of owning. dreamed of owning with nate.

however now, it wasnt the same. it had been burned in a fire about a year ago. i was so upset when i found out, it seems silly, but that was like my teenage dream.

i had watched my teenage dream die right before my eyes on news channel five.

but none of that mattered, because i didnt need a white picket fence to prove that i was in love with nate, we both knew that.

eventually, we got out of the car.

he led me down the hill, the little weeds clinging to my sweater, the ends of my jeans lightly coated in the mud that was layered below the pretty green grass.

my stupid converse that i wore to senior prom.

the stupid converse that he had bought me on our very first date.

a size too big.

they still fit. three years later,

they still fit.

we stopped at the bottom of the hill, there was a pond not too far from us, there were still a few stray ducks.

he took my left hand, then my right, pulling my arms around his shoulders, his arms rested on my waist.

“i remember when i first noticed that you liked me back.” he hummed the lyrics of the song we danced to in higschool, swaying us slowly back and forth, the tall grass rubbing against my baggy jeans.

“think i like you, best when your just with me…and no one else.” i whispered, pressing my forehead against his, like we did a few years ago.

“i still get butterflies from you.” he whispered, smiling softly.

“ive still got a crush on you.” i whispered back, the corners of my lips curving up.

“your smiles still as beautiful it was when we were in eighth grade.” he mumbled, playing with a strand of my hair.

“your eyes are just as pretty as they were when we were sixteen.” i tilted my head, my eyes subconsciously falling to his lips.

as if he read my mind, he had leaned forward slightly, pressing his lips against mine.

it wasnt rough or forced, it was the perfect kiss a person would imagine.

like the ones in the movies.

the kinds you read in books, that you laugh at when they say their boyfriends lips fit perfectly together.

i used to laugh, but it really is true.

nate was my puzzle piece that fit perfectly against my lips, against my heart.

he pulled away, a small hint of blush had found its way onto his cheeks.

“youve got the lipstick all over your lips now” i giggled, trying to smear it off.

“stop, stop.” he pushed my hand away from his mouth, laughing lightly. “i like it.” he smiled, rubbing his hands over my back.

i took his hand, sitting down in the grass, pulling him down with me.

we just studied the light blue sky for a while, a comfortable blanket of silence warming the atmosphere.

“im gonna buy this house one day.” he glanced at me, “im gonna fix it up, for us and our little ones.”

“really?” i grinned, leaning into him.

his arm slid over my shoulder, hugging me to his chest,

“yeah.”

-

stop this is so cute i love writing shit like this oddmdme

goodnight cuties xx

#Spotify #nathan doe #nate doe #n8 #sturniolos #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #idk #chris sturniolo #help #sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #fluff #cigarettes after sex #k #cute

[roygbivsystem]

Okay so since you all (by very popular demand) wanted me to post a poem i wrote about my shit love life here it is:

To my first ever boyfriend

The one who I let into my heart still light

The windows of my soul still shining so bright

To my first ever boyfriend

The one who moved away

The one i kept in touch with, with silly stupid emails all day

To my first ever boyfriend

The one who would tell me he loved me like the sun

Then disappear for days on end when the sentence was done

To my first ever boyfriend

The one who would leave and never tell me why

The one who made me think whenever someone didnt respond they were going to die

To my first ever boyfriend.

To my second boyfriend

The one who i reluctantly opened the door to my heart too

The pink on the walls fading to a color less true

To my second boyfriend 

The one i was peer pressured into dating

Who i later ended up hating

To my second boyfriend

The one I didnt really like

Who called me a dyke

To my second boyfriend

The one who told me I loved too hard and too much

So I became cold to the touch

To my second boyfriend

The one who would touch me when i said no

Because consent was a word he didnt know

To my second boyfriend

The one who trashed my heart

The one who made it so when people touch me I try to pull them apart

To my second boyfriend.

To my third boyfriend

The one who I didnt let into my heart

He was only allowed to stand on the steps so i could ensure he wouldnt pull me apart

To my third boyfriend

The one who I didnt show much affection for

So i could make sure he didnt slip into that door

To my third boyfriend

The one who told me my love was too rough and too cold

He told me in love I should be bold

To my third boyfriend

The one who stuck his foot into the door

The one i broke up with so he couldnt repeat what happened before

To my third boyfriend

The one I ran from

I learned not to love cold from

To my third boyfriend.

To my first ever girlfriend

The one who i let into my heart 

The walls now a deep dark color on every part

To my first ever girlfriend

Who helped me cover the walls with a light wall paper

I could never hate her

To my first ever girlfriend

The one who later became a boyfriend

Whos love was sweet like candy but candy rots your teeth

To my first ever girlfriend

The one who felt like a dream

Who never told me any boundaries

To my first ever girlfriend

I could never tell if I could talk too

Because they never expressed their boundaries 

To my first ever girlfriend

And our love that felt like an essay without structure

Uncomfortable and messy but still saying the right words

To my first ever girlfriend 

Whos love set my heart on fire

Too bad they left it burnt and bruised and tired

left me broken

Taught me to never get too comfortable

Yep, that was my first ever girlfriend.

To my first ever partner

Appeared in my doorway unexpectedly

I turned around flustered at the mess i called my heart

Before i saw what was in their hand

A rose

I had never gotten one of those

To my first ever partner 

who just showed up 

Saw the walls with the torn off wallpaper now black and cracked, and the tear stained papers scattered everywhere of half written poems, and the trash, and dirty clothes, and my tear stained cheeks and said how about we clean this place up?

To my first ever partner

who didnt judge my trashed heart

And didnt try to pull me apart

To my first ever partner

Who called me beautiful as mascara ran down my face

And helped me fix this place

To my first ever partner

The one whose love feels soft and light

Never mad for my soul shining through the cracks in the blinds too bright

To my first ever partner 

The one who doesnt critizise my love for being too much or too mean

Who makes me feel seen

To my first ever partner.

@aaasdgnklm thank you for fixing my broken heart and loving me when I thought I couldnt be loved. <3

#poetry #love poem #heartbreak #heartache #poems on tumblr #poems and poetry

[kanekoii]

Hi! Can i ask for Zuttomo + aia where reader sees their new outfits and get really flustered at them(separate) bc i love all of their new outfits smmmmmmmmm!

lyra's notes -> ughggh i had sm fun making this I LOVE ZUTTOMO RAAAAAHH and im sorry i didnt know how to write aia's part so she wasn't included :(

pairings -> zuttomo x gn! reader

genre -> scenario, fluff

song -> pleaser - wallows (nothing to do with the fic just what im listening to rn)

warnings -> established relationship, food mentions

PETRA GURIN ->

going to an aquarium in the spring with your girlfriend was already a fun day out, but now it was exponentially more so. she was dressed so adorably that you could hardly take your eyes off her! from her cute and frilly dress to her cream colored jacket to the way her hair was styled, she was absolutely adorable! you ended up with a lot of pictures of her on your phone that day, that's for sure. the best two by far were one of her standing in front of one of the aquarium's tanks with the cute creatures swimming toward her. the picture ended up being a little artistic in nature because her back was facing you in the dimly lit room, but it was absolutely beautiful. the second picture was just her sitting under the spring cherry blossoms and drinking a soda with a happy look in her icy blue eyes.

REIMU ENDOU ->

her new swimsuit is so adorable! your phantom girlfriend looks so, SO adorable playing on the beach with you. her soft, white hair tied behind her in two braids that didn't end until just below her knees was so tempting to play with oh my god. her outfit is very beachy, but nothing stops her from wearing it out in public too for an outing on a warm summer day! even if it's just getting ice cream then going swimming, any time spent with your girlfriend is well worth it, right? she doesn't exactly swim, she more or less just floats on a doughnut raft and talks with you, but imagine doing that late into the night. just floating together and looking at the stars.

ENNA ALOUETTE ->

imagine going apple picking with her on one of those crisp fall days. laughing and making jokes on the car ride to and from there, baking yummy treats and warm foods together. enna will even do a little twirl in her dress, and that's the most fanservice you will probably ever get. imagine making hot chocolate with her and baking desserts, oughh it would be so fucking cute. making apple pie (if you like it, if not then some other kind of dessert) with enna is very chaotic but ends up being cute when she shows her more soft side. donning her glasses and taking off her heavy overcoat, she'll still laugh and joke with you while the both of you collaborate to make a warmly flavored and yummy dessert!

MILLIE PARFAIT ->

playing in the snow with her! imagine taking walks in the mid winter in the light, powdery snow with cups of coffee or other warm drinks in hand. it will quickly devolve into throwing snow at each other. there's not enough yet for a proper snowball fight, so you and millie end up just chucking half-handfuls of snow at each other. your laughs and giggles echo slightly on the cold night her frilly skirt swirls around as the both of you eventually run inside as the snowstorm kicks up in intensity. you'd end up just drinking hot drinks and sitting with her cat and watching movies together.

#lyr.fic #nijien x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader #nijien #zuttomo #zuttomo x reader #zuttomo x you #i need more zuttomo content for fics now raaaah #petra gurin #petra gurin x reader #petra gurin x you #reimu endou #reimu endou x reader #reimu endou x you #enna alouette #enna alouette x reader #enna alouette x you #millie parfait #millie parfait x reader #millie parfait x you

[demadogs]

What's your least favorite byler "proof"? Like when someone shows somebody it in an argument/interaction/whatever and it makes you go "noo wtf not that please" 😭 I think for me it's that one part in the infamous byler slides where there's a koala/bear in between mike and El and that represents will.

oh my god youre gonna get me canceled theres so so many i think are insane and dont believe in at all lmao. the masterdoc is fun but theres so much i think wasnt intentional. and so much of what i see here i think is a stretch.

bouta break my silence and come out as an anti believer in so many popular theories on here… no one be mad at me

dont think mike had a letter for will in his pocket in s4 (im SORRY but that wouldve been addressed)

dont think the tracks being different and youre the heart are connected in any way or supposed to be played together they dont sound good or seamless together at all

dont think mike walking into the school newspaper room for nancy and looking around was him looking at guys and gay panicking at all

hate the sauna test theory. they walked in on a bunch of gross naked wrinkly old men theyre not gay panicking?? maybe if they were conventionally attractive young guys but no. i think the masterdoc argues that mike looks down in shame bc hes thinking about his future self as a gay man but i dont believe in that at all tbh. i also dont think that zoom in on the men sign had anything to do with byler it was just an establishing shot of where they were.

not sold on lucas’ new coke speech being related to byler (the seating arrangement in that scene tho was definitely intentional)

i dont think at alll that mikes break down on hopper in s2 yelling “liar liar liar” had anything to do with internalized homophobia. i dont think he ever thought about his sexuality before s3

i think a lot of the times we’ve seen the colors of a certain sexualitys flag has been unintentional. something specifically pointed out like the rainbow ship for will probably was but a background character somewhat close to mike wearing colors that vaguely resemble the bi flag? or the lighting on his shirt kinda looking like the mlm flag? i dont think thats intentional at all. when they do symbolism shit like that its much more obvious (framing mike in the closet)

this one im actually on the fence about because it would be really cool, theres just one word that makes me second guess it. the idea that the girl fake choking at suzie’s house and the dad freaking out was foreshadowing of mikes monologue. on some levels it makes sense but the way the kid said “your terror it looked genuine” kinda makes it seem like it would be implying that mike wasnt actually scared for els life in that moment which i dont like at all. if he had said “your performance” instead i would be 100% sold

i dont believe in most the s1 byler theories. i do think they had the idea of byler in mind from the beginning but at that point they didnt even know if theyd be renewed so i dont think they prioritized anything that could foreshadow byler. i think the lack of romantic tension with mike and el in comparison to jonathan and nancy is telling, but i dont think there was anything in that season relating to mikes sexuality or feelings for will, both because of logistics and prioritizing mlvn for the first season, and because they had TWO SCENES TOGETHER

also dont believe in flickergate as much as i love the idea of it it would break the rules of the universe that theyve already established. the upside down isnt actually in the past its a place frozen in time. things happening there dont affect the past.

theres definitely more but those are the ones i can think of rn.

#also not byler but THE DUFFERS JUST FORGOT WILLS BIRTHDAY OK IT WAS AN ACCIDENT #byler #eden answers

[dilf-enthusiast420]

feelz (ii)

find part i

next part

[dealer!eddie]

~

eddies pov

“I would never put a knife in your back, the love i give her is kinda creepy but fuck it she orders and i deliver”

Eddie was absolutely positively living right now. here you were in all you gorgeous, gorgeous, glory. Sitting criss-crossed in his room. on his fucking bed. 

And he was just standing front of you like an idiot.

“You just gonna stand there? I can leave if you want..” no, no, no ,no

“no no i'm fine, i’ve just,” never had a girl in my room? thats pathetic eddie. “had a lot of caffeine? i’m just a bit wired..” real fuckin smooth eddie. You idiot.

“oh.” you stare at him “so.. you gonna stand there or start rolling?”

“right! I'll start, uh, doing that.” Eddie fumbles around his room for a bit before finding the box he keeps his stash in and gets out the necessities. 

Meanwhile, you uncross your legs and lean back on his bed and start looking at your surroundings. Eddie can't stand the silence but would rather die than speak in fear of him accidentally making a fool out of himself. 

so, of course, you’re the one to break the silence. “I wanted to smoke with you to get to know you better.. If you were uh, wondering.” eddie stills. He wants to cry. Or die. Both sound like a solid option at the moment. “Me?”

“uh, yeah. You deal to me yet I know nothing about you, other than what other people have to say. But if you ask me, they seem a bit biased.” you take a breath. “I wanna know eddie. Not Eddie “the freak” just good ‘ol Eddie munson” Eddie looks up at his ceiling.

God? is that you?

He looks back at you, “ well uh. What do you wanna know? I'm weird and do drugs.” he shrugs.

you look at him for a second, eyebrows furrowed in a way that eddie cant help but think is absolutely adorable “What’s your favorite color?” he looks at you to see what color shirt you have on. “Green.” he grabs the two neatly rolled joints and grabs his lighter then hands you one.

you put the joint in your mouth and eddie is completely transfixed onthe way you hold it between your fingers and place it between those perfectly kissable lips. you grab the lighter from his hand, and eddie cant help but notice had soft your hand is even if he only felt the pads of your fingertips, and light the joint between your lips.

eddie feels like he cant breath. 

you take a puff and resume talking. “good to know. but you and i both not thats not what i meant. ask me something, to start?” you take another drag and give him the lighter.

he grabs the light from your (significantly) smaller hands and subtly tries to flex just how much bigger his hands are. girls like that right? she probably didnt even notice. (you did)

he lights his own joint while thinking of what to ask but the space between you was kind of suffocating. he doesn't know when but you were sitting against his head board with one leg hanging off the side while he sits just a little bit above the middle of the bed with his legs criss crossed. 

he takes a long drag to stall some more.

“tell me about your first friend?” god eddie. would it kill you to be somewhat original?

“well, her name was jaden and we were friends from 1st grade up until i moved here” you shrug and take another hit. “we were pretty close but when i moved she practically ghosted me and i found out from a mutual friend she started dating my ex.” you say it with such a casuality that eddie can’t tell if your hurt or just dont care anymore.

well now i feel like an asshole.. “oh wow. that sucks. sorry.” he looks down at his hands feeling bad for asking you such a question, as if he could have could have known.

“im over it. she was a kind of a bitch” you chuckled and finished your joint. “so eddie, why do you let me smoke for free?” you look at him with your lips curling into a coy smile.

“well uh. you see, i just uh, your new. and well, new people should uh. well- you’re nice and pretty. so you should smoke for free.” eddie stops speaking and feels like his brain just exploded. why did i think smoking with the person i would like to have my children would be a good idea?

the room feels like its getting warmer with each minute (second) eddie waits for you to say something.

you laugh. “thanks eds. i think you’re pretty too.”

what.

eddie is staring wide eyed, mouth slightly agape. you stare at him in return, though it feels like you’re staring through him rather than at him. 

“oh.”

“oh?” you question.

“oh.” he confirms.

you eye him skeptically, then lean your head back against his headboard, exposing the unmarked column of your throat.

eddie’s mouth gets dry and its not because of cotton mouth.

“hey y/n”

“hm?” you hum

“can i.. try something?” this is such a stupid idea.

“yeah go ‘head” you tilt your head to look at him

now or fucking never

eddie leans forward and places his lips against yours.

it’s nothing but inexperience on eddie’s part. but he couldn’t have imagined anything even close enough to the euphoria he’s feeling right now.

and he’s done shrooms before.

you both kind of just, sit there. lips placed on each others. unmoving. 

eddie pulls back fearing that he fucked everything up because his stupid brain thought maybe, maybe, you could have wanted something more.

“was that your first kiss?” 

ouch.

“that obvious? im sorry. i shouldnt have- you can just- you can uh, you can leave im really sorry-” .” he starts to get up just before you grab him by the the collar of his infamous hellfire shirt and place your lips against his, moving them with such experience that eddie cant even be bothered to feel jealous when it feels so damn good.

but just like that. you pull your lips off his stand, stand up, grab your bag, and say “its getting late, see ya later.” and walk out leaving eddie with one thought only.

what the fuck.

~~

hope you liked? this is gonna be a mini series so stick around if you’re interested :)

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #x reader #x y/n #x you #song fic

[s0up1ta]

Ok I am going to be very insane about them and your designs for them for a second category 5 moment coming up I'm very sorry

BUT OHHH MY FUCKGIGN GOD THATS EXACTLY HOW I PICTURE THEM THOSE DESIGNS ARE SO GODDAMN SPOT ON AND PERFECT!!!!! PETERS HAIRCUT AND FRECKLES, RUMIS HORNS BEING MADE OUT OF THE CRYSTALS THAT REFRACT THE LIGHT AND ARE COLORED BLUE AND PURPLEE AHDNDB FUCJGJISHGIDHSIHRISHROSHRIEHDK!! ‼️‼️ AND RUMI'S JACKET THING MEANS THE WORLD TO ME GOD JUST THEM IN YOUR STYLE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 ohhHHH ANDDD THE OPENINGS ON THE SIDE OF THEIR TIGHT UNDERSHIRT-THINGY SHOWING THEIR SKIN WITH THE GOLD PLATESSS IM GOING FERAL!!!! PETERS VEST IS PERFECT TOO LIKE IM ACTUALLY SO INSANE ABOUT THIS YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND MAN. YOURE SO FUCKING TALENTED BTW HAVE I EVER MENTIONED THAT BECAUSE I NEED TO MENTION THAT. FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!

Also I know its a part of Rumi's official design but I actually really really love the openings on the sides of rumi's clothes because I hc healing magic in a really specific way. Like to cast it you have to physically lay your hands on the person, but it doesn't have to be on the injury, just the person. So you could hold their hand and cast it (which is what Rumi does for Peter, they hold his hand or cup his face ((very lovingly)) WOAGH who said that anyway) and it would work the same as touching any other part of their skin; BUT!! you can't cast it through clothes. So when Peter goes to heal Rumi he would put his hands on their hip openings and cast his magic then.

I'm pretty sure that exandroth is the one who can cast healing magic?? But I'm going to pretend both of them can after Peter figures out the low level magic :3

So if it was pre-biblically-accurate-androgynous-sex, then Peter would typically hold their hand or touch their neck or something and Rumi would grab his hands and bring them to their hips because there's more skin to touch, meaning more room to cast. And then the biblically-accurate-androgynous-sex made Peter feel much more confident in a lot of different ways, but also much more confident when it came to Rumi, so post-biblically-accurate-androgynous-sex he would do it without hesitation :]

This also goes the same in reverse, Rumi would just hold his hand to heal him after a battle, (andddd maayybbeee the hand-holding lasted a little longer than the time it took to cast a healing spell because they just wanted to hold hands) but after their night together it became much more common for Rumi to lift Peter's shirt up to look at the injury and heal it directly or cup his face in their hands and heal him that way.

ANYWAYY!! SORRY FOR THE RANT ABOUT MAGIC FOR SOME REASON IN YOUR INBOX AND THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME IN YOUR DESIGNS BECAUSE YOURE A FUCKING AWESOME ARTIST AND I ADORE YOUR STYLE!!!!!!! see ya ✌️

I AUSGHSHDUSGUSHDHHDGDHHS

IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS

THIS IS LITERALLY CANON YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME THAT PEOPLE LIKE MY DESIGNS AUGDHFHJDBF

im a very much visual person when it comes to brainrotting so i cant put into words how much i agree with everything you just said so just know that UAGSHDHUDHSJBFJDBFJDJBD

((drawing ideas perhaps 👁️👁️) what was that i didnt say anything

#ive been rotating them in my mind 24/7 my god #genuinely kicking and screaming at this man

[jane-crow]

VORTEX TIME BABY

yes i am putting tws for this post because IT IS required in context of everything im about to dump onto you crows

(putting the tws here to just to be safe. TW: g0re,mention cann1bal1sm(trying to get someone to do that),kn1v3s sui implied and l0ss of a b0dy part)

with that out of the way lets get into the oc rant :D

so- just fair warning- i did change some things around in the cannon lore but its not a full COMPLETE change- but you'll see what i mean later on SO- oh and also caines a tiny bit of a dick- BUT unintentionally because i think he just doesnt realize what hes doing is wrong (at least in this aus context but maybe also within the cannon au)

in my au- vortex has been there the longest INSTEAD of kinger- but kinger has been there the second longest. vortex has been in the circus for 20 years (since they were 7 btw and yes this was intention of me) and caine wasnt perpared for humans he tended to leave vortex alone a lot

AND THUS before the group we all know and loved showed up a unlucky group of seven people showed up- think of the group as pomni but worse. the group wouldnt really listen to vortex when it came to the circus so they all tended to avoid vortex/stay in there rooms- which led to all seven abstracting- one by one and vortex having to watch it happen. so of course- caine wasnt around so vortex was stuck waiting for caine to appear while trying to survive abstractions- WHICH THEY DID HURRAY- but they didnt go without getting injuries (im not going into detail on said injuries- at least not by much-) which ties in with his design- SO

"vortex was almost all black..with their teeth being white,the tips of there hair having color- red,blue,green and purple,their eyes having color- one being blue the other being orange. and their tail- which the tip had some red on it followed by other colors. their body was covered in scars. their face,tail,back,arms and legs had scars."

"vortex DID have clothes..but- they were always hard to makes out. the clothes they were (forcably) given were a black tanktop,a flannel which had very few hints of color. the color being a few hints of red here and there. same with the shorts expect they had hints of green instead. they had boots were more of a black-ish grey-ish color"

moving on-

so- you may or may not have already assumed vortex isnt the biggest fan of caine BUT DONT WORRY I HAVE ONE MORE POINT TO PROVE AS TO WHY THEY DONT- so vortex was kind of a "test subject" for caine right? (not a literal one because- its a digital place-)soo- caine put the virus in vortex to see how much humans can take in the circus (mentally of course) which resulted in vortex having glitching episodes! and eventually- the glitch became sentiant just because of how attached it was to vortexs code at this point- and you'll never believe it buuutt- it wants vortex to eat the members of the circus- huuurraaay- moving on- because were sort of coming back to that.

how i imagine the circus is- its like a show but it has its own spin off game- and as for the show i imagine that like within the cannon universe people can like literally watch what these characters are doing so i like to imagine they all have acts- and the rooms they have are decorated by said act they do. unforunatly- vortex being the test subject he is- doesnt have an act so..what does his room look like?? well-

"vortexs room was pretty empty compared to the others rooms. they had a bed,a desk and a closet. that was about it for things that were in there. they had some random plushies that they had found around the circus while they were alone. they also had a projector with a remote to change colors. he tends to keep it blue and red along with the green dots which represent stars. the project itself was meant to represent the northern lights. there room was also dimly lit just because he tended to find the circus overwhelming. the colors were always to much for her whenever she decided to explore the circus."

one silly fact before i go back to the glitch- since vortex doesnt have an act he likes to watch all of the other members preform and hehehehe. soo- you know pomnis eyes in that one scene where she sees her door? think of that but for vortexs eyes- but not as wide yk? and i like to imagine that their tail is gently wagging and me and my freind made a joke that the camera thats recording the circus members acts just pans to vortex and vortex is just like "..oh heey-" and awkwardly leaves somewhere else lmao

OK BEFORE WE OFFICAL GO BACK TO THE GLITCH- the glitch does have a design

"the glitch is basically an all green looking entity. it has a few other colors here and there but it was mostly green otherwise."

anyway- so. since the glitch is- VERY relentless when it comes to vortex it just keeps telling them to- y'know eat people. but eventually one day vortex had enough of the glitch and- cut their arm off. BUTTT DONT FREAT- they get a prosthetic made by our favorite silly jester (midheard this again on a call with a friend when they actually said their oc lmao)

oh one last thing. you wanna get rid of that glitch? well good luck- you cant do it without whipping vortexs memories- so basically a hard reset.

OH AND- vortex (since they were alone for so long) has this like tent where they put a bunch of stuff they collected while being in the circus- and yes there is a lot of shit in that tent- trust me

WELL THATS ALL OF THE IMPORTANT STUFF- FACT LIST TIIIMMEEE (some of the facts i already typed out but shhh. also this is where the kn1f3 tw comes into play- its the VERY last fact. also the su1 implicantion. I ONLY CALL IT IMPLICATION SINCE YOU CANT DIE OFFICALLY IN THE CIRCUS FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND. if you want to change it to attempt instead dont hesitate to ask ^^)

-vortex can bypass the swear filter only because he was the test subject for the digital circus so caine didnt put that into her code

-vortex has a fear of abstractions because a group of seven people came and all seven abstracted. he also had to see queenie abstract

-when people first see vortex when they hear about abstractions they think shes abstracting 

-they have scars from abstraction attacks

-hes scared to get close to anybody in the circus (unless he already got close to them) 

-they dont really trust caine

-hes explored the circus so many times out of boredom

-the fake exit triggered her abstraction trauma

-her tail wags when she gets any sort of affection (headpats,hugging,hand holding ect)

-autism

-showed up alone BUT a group of seven others came and abstracted

-11’5

-vortexs nickname is air because bobbin (a friends oc) and bubble make bnb so- with vortex having the nickname air its airbnb

-voidy. just- voidy.

-uhhh vortex once had a bad glitching episode- SO BAD that they stabbed himself- and they are very ashamed of it because his mind wasnt clear- and she wasnt in to much control anyway

#tw gore #tw cannibalism #tws #the amazing digital circus #ocs #tadc oc #tadc #tw knife #tw sui implied #tw mild body horror #oc rant

[freebooter4ever]

i actually have another story related to this that kind of...i dont know...shows the difference between what im used to and now. while i was working in computer science education i was an art director - and had to defer to the professors in programming and curriculum -  for the most part i had final say on anything art quality related.

so nick shows up in pittsburgh - ski season was over with and he decided to lend his carpentry skills to theater tech work. and somehow through the theater he was employed at, he got talked into being set director for a local high school play on the side. and then, because i was madly in love with him and wanted to spend every second together like a total idiot, i got roped into helping him paint everything.

so while i was writing a textbook by day - creating the models/joint systems AND planning how they can illustrate introductory programming concepts -  i was also spending my nights from like midnight to 4am painting the sets nick was building. for like two weeks or something. i was dying, but i was very happy about it.

anyway one night instead of us being there alone the actual Art Director of the show was there doing whatever it is she did. and she was watching me paint some stone walls. and she was like ‘thats too much color stones are grey’. and i just looked at her with my two hours of sleep death stare and informed her that this was the underpainting. and nick was sitting over there smirking at us like the smug asshole he is because he already knew me too well by then and he knew exactly who was going to win this battle. At that point he’d also spent enough time making out hanging out with me in my office that he'd seen me do this base layer / top layer painting on digital sets.

because a few things: this is for stage so if you’re going to have colored lights you want to give even gray objects some color to catch it. two, if the lights are going to be bright you’re going to have to compensate a little - you can see this in every dsnylnd ride ever. three - i told her the truth that the initial underpainting was literally an underpainting and the teal tinted gray wash going on top was going to blend all the colors together. This is how you get the illusion of flat objects being three deminsional. Those of us who have worked on low poly games know this ALL TOO WELL. PLEASE lady i do this everyday on 3D computer models its the same fucking concept. i didnt say all this. i just fucking did it. cause i was a volunteer working till 4am what could she do. Kick me out? Haha.

so yeah i won that argument and when the play opened everybody commented on how great the sets looked.

BUT WHAT IM SAYING is that the people who aren’t actually doing the work and are only judging the finished project really REALLY shouldnt be able to have any say at certain stages. they should just trust that the person who has already previously demonstrated the ability to do this shit can do it again. and thats why we have concept art. to determine the direction that the working artist can then formulate a way to reach. and then the person who directed the concept can look at the finished product and be happy. but thats not how it works because they like to be in control \o/

Sometimes i wonder if i actually would have survived working at the studios during the golden age of ani*ma*tion (Besides my being female). Cause like walt was known to be a very micro managing boss - its why the whole place fell apart after his death for a while there. The artists used to ask if walt was in his ‘bear suit’ that day so they'd know in advance if he was going to rip their heads off in critique. And one artist looking for a job actually walked in and told walt that ‘[walts] job is the only job worth having around here’. Who knows. I feel too young to be so disillusioned by this town already.

#Journal shit

[todayisafridaynight]

To Be Abnormal for a second Every Frame A Painting If Jo Is In It right... an exquisite top pick... his attitude and body language are So Cunty when he's in control of a situation... he's just very fun to watch and the Context that the cap is part such a sequence and what comes before and after elevates it...

Plus the lighting and color grading in the office is very suited to Jo's design with the purple and pink undertones, and the general framing/negative space/value distribution in that particular shot is Just Good; the blinds also make for a nice backdrop and the way he casts this really soft shadow behind him does a lot to make him subtly stand out from the background... ALSO I love the detail of the blinds being Kind Of Fucked Up In Places like he put his hands on them with a little too much force at some point and [being dragged away to be institutionalized]

BUT YEAH NO I DELETED THE POST BUT I DEFINITELY. HAD SOME THOUGHTS. AS YOU CAN SEE.

It's not JUST that it's A Disservice To Mr. Tsutsumi it's that... as I was sort of talking about at the stream with young [i.e. eighties] Jo although I didn't elaborate... this and some other decisions age him so much. Like, when Tsutsumi was actually around that age, he looked like this. A Baby.

And I just think... NOT having that wide-eyed innocence isn't as fitting. It's like buying into Jo's Belief that he's all-grown-up when really he's still got the mentality and coping mechanisms of a child at fifteen and hangs onto a great deal of it well into adulthood... I think it was important to give him a face people'd instantly want to protect to place visual emphasis on the enormity of everything going on in Jo's monologue.

Would also apply to what you were talking about in the MineDai-AraSawa comparison ask, how Arakawa might feel extra-concerned for him because he's younger [I can't say much because my age gap with most of my friends is big anyway, but I frequently see my friends in their mid-twenties or later feel that way with their friends in their early-twenties]

Like it's THERE I just want it to be there visually... in a visual medium... in the ONLY visual medium where de-aging someone with 100% accuracy would be possible... is that so much to ask...

HIS CUNTINESS YEAH that's the way to put it (❁´◡`❁) tbf i color corrected the scene Just A Little since the cap i had was just Weirdly Dark BUT the colors ARE still there.... his suit and overall character does just Pop against how white/grey everything is around him

AND YEAYEA THE FACT HIS BLINDS ARE A LITTLE BENT IN SOME PLACES it's a tiny detail but it's one of my favorite things i noticed- i didnt think it was worth mentioning but im glad you noticed it too (╯▽╰ )

BUT BEHIND THE LORE REASONS™️ TO NERF TTM'S LIPS YEAH lowkey that's how ive forever chosen to interpret jo's flashbacks and why he seems so much older in them (Alongside with arakawa sounding older than he reasonably should at that point BUT ig you can make a case of The Yakuza Aging Someone idk not the main point). i think rgg just knew that if they kept ttm's natural lips i wasn't going to take sawashiro seriously for any longer than five seconds before being wholeheartedly distracted.. (￣人￣)

#long post #snap chats #SORRY IT TOOK ME A BIT TO GET TO THIS i was finishin up that last comm and i was havin a quick shower. before a 3h walk. #no it doesnt make sense but i wont be able to shower tomorrow and Its Complicated NOT THE POINT ANYWAY #forever thinking about jo's fucked up blinds... bro what'd you see that had you so pissed.....i have to KNOW #I CANT EVEN BULLSHIT A REASON JUST LET ME KNOW WHY HE SO PISSED ALL THE TIIMMEE #rgg was smart in the nerf like bro gon be pissed and i Would Not have been paying attention ☠️☠️☠️ #at least coulda brought it back for when jo was younger... but again i can justify it in my head not to... #makes it sadder that way... but also bring them back a mod even i'll even take a mod i just wanna see-- #I FEEL LIKE MY RESPONSE IS TRASH BUT ITS ALSO CAUSE IM RUSHING CAUSE I GOTTA BOUNCE IN A COUPLE MINUTES SOOO #i have a follow up post regarding my. Sporadic Timing Nowadays but as for this ask BYE BYE TY FOR WRITING IN #AND AS ALWAYS TY FOR MOURNING THE LOSS OF HIS LIPS WITH MELKVAEJLVKJ #most sane. most sane rgg complaint.

[speaking-at-the-theater]

watching and dreaming

WATCHING AND DREAMING! i’ve got popcorn and soda ready :D 

OH SHIT

–

the in-between? yay?

funky little in-between places between worlds, the unknown, the in between, the nowhere realm, gotta love them

–

FUCK

–

AMITY VS LUZ! the fight to the death literally no one wanted!

–

oh shit. poor…..everyone!

–

terribly sad moment but the color coordination or purple+green+red´+yellow+blue was great (couldnt get a pic w amity’s hair in it that didnt exclude hunter

–

gotta love those tiny details in dream sequences that remind the mc that something is wrong. toh is so good at that, keeping consistency across eps! a witch’s duel was introduced in s1, and yet now they are recalling the concept, drawing attention to it, in a way

—

it’s interesting how ‘light’ here also has implications of truth, reality, knowledge. reminds me of hs in a way, though ik the idea is not exclusive to that

–

family reunion time!

-

rai-rai? really?

collector is soo cute!

collector is just an amoral child propaganda yes!

(can you guys tell i love collector???)

–

spiders are cool yes!!

-

wow! character who does bad stuff but doesnt realiza it’s bad? sign me right up! i love collector, did you know that?

-

the interesting contrast of childish innocence plus terrible atrocities is always fun to watch

-

watcha playing eyyy!!

–

love how luz, eda and king are kind of showing collector what his games feel like (getting injured, painful) for them, while being part of the games themselves! i imagine this si setting up for a ‘stop! this isnt funny anymore’ ‘well, that’s what everyone else feels too’ moment

–

poor collectorrrr nhghhshshshsh new fave character ig

–

O COLLECTOR IS THEY THEM I DIDNT NOTICE

–

love this shot

–

collector is so like a child, they encounter a feeling they dont like and immediately become mean

–

couldnt help but notice their eyes were without that white dot- kinda like the amity-puppet, yk?

-

collector spinel kinnie, also older-collectors are archivists? cool

-

ok so my predictions about the archvists taking collector in where wrong, cool. might wanna do something with that later tho

-

man that’s- that’s sad. collector literally got abandoned by their siblings, and then made new friends, just to see their siblings practically genocide everyone there, just for one of their friends to blame them for that and trap them in an empty dimension for a lot of years (and obviously leaving collector w some trauma). even if they dont say it in grown-up words, what happened to them was awful

-

luz collector parallels yes!

-

fuck you belos! go raine!

–

texts i found

-liar

-i gave up my palisman for you (i think?)

-im done

–

oh they really said ‘go big or go home’ w the horror here didnt they? 

–

i think it’s cute, seeing luz tell her story of the owl house. kinda like those end of movie narration where the mc describes what they learned. very…heartwarming, excuse me while i cry bc this is the series finale

-

the knee! i love that theme of ‘can you hear the world singing?’ i’ve seen in so many other places. real magical. and TITAN MAGIC?? gimme.

-

no but fr they baby

-

collector saying a baby could do what it took luz like 6 eps to learn

-

i love!!!!! the idea that luz and the titan/isles are connected to eachother, have loved it since i first came upon it in s1, i should do a (heavily canon divergent basically full on au) fic of it.

–

at first i heard ‘he must really like you’ as ‘he was really like you’ and honestly i like both.

–

‘hear that?’ ‘hear what?’ didnt that also happen last ep? i’ve been watching so much media it’s mixing around in my head

—

oof. collector recognizing raine’s earring. 

-

oh?? collector tell us your plan??

-

‘kindness and forgiveness’ wont help you now collector.

-

also isnt belos kinda a titan now??? should he be inmune to collector’s magic?

-

what a load of second-hand embarrassment

-

collector is such a child!! they see a new rule in this game we call life and they assume it always applies and are surprised when it doesnt! .

‘no, you did good, collector’ yes!! bc collector wasnt completely in the wrong for wanting to understand belos! it means they learned from what luz taught them!! it’s not their fault belos is an asshole!

-

wow! for everyone who thought king was gonna be the petrified one this season, not quite!

-

that silent ‘oh no’ look

–

no dont say that!! that’s sad!!! i’m sad now!!

–

luz! light! she became light!!

-

gotta love ‘tiny golden sparks representing magic through a connection with the world surrounding you’ sounds too specific but both toh and spop have done it!

-

collector i gte you’re grieving but please stop putting yourself in dangerous situations you have to be rescued from

even so: ‘the archivists arent here! the couldnt have taken her!’ noooo

-

oh. luz’s…..shards, return to the stars. the light glyph is written in the stars. huh.

-

‘i should have thanked them’ oh. bc everytime they get separated, the separated party thanks luz (‘luz, thank you for being in my life’ ‘thank you for being my big sister’)

i’m crying now.

-

KING’S DAD????

i should be more surprised but this was set up since the beginning

-

‘luz is a noceda! you know what that means? it means she’s too strong to let any of this bring her down’ literally!! the name noceda means ‘don’t give up/yield’ theory of language my beloved

-

‘I’m sorry for everything!’ reminds me of catra. damn. and ‘i don’t want anyone else to go missing……’

-

i need the music for the titan luz scene.

-

love this logo?? bc 1 it reminds me of the solar system which correlates w the space theme we’ve got going but also, it reminds me of like, connection. how mixing glyphs together makes them stronger. how luz’s strength is in her friends, her attachments, her connection to the world!

–

OH!!! THE INTRO LEITMOTIF IN THE TITAN LUZ SCENE!!!

-

is that collector screaming????

-

no he looks like a cat fr

–

no but??? the isles being overtaken by green vegetation?? utterly natural for humans (belos, and to an extent luz) but utterly alien to the people of the isles?? then luz giving back the red vegetation??? smth about accepting other people’s differences even if they dint align w yours???

-

gotta love all the callbacks this ep is doing. i could make a compilation of them but it’s like they’re saying ‘we know this is the end, but remember the journey’ remember remember remember ughhhhhh toh will never die.

-

love how all the glyphs have their natural element form, but also other connotations! the light glyph deals w light, but also knowledge, truth (it helps wake up the people of the isles) but also the obscuring of truth (the invisibility glyph) while fire is both fire and like, movement, the sphere titan!luz travels in is made of fire glyphs while the teletransporting spell has a fire glyph in the middle, light also seems to have themes of ife? and it makes sense for fire to be movement: the more hot something is, the more the atoms in it aare moving and just…. hajdjakd.

–

eda’s requiem???

-

what the fuck  is going on here what does that do

-

also ‘i am the good witch luz child of the human real student of the demon realm’ YES????? BC SHE’S NO LONGER PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, SHE’S ACCEPTED WHO SHE IS AND WHERE SHE COMES FROM

-

MORE CALLBACKS

collector seeing the hex-children and curling up…… gonna save this

-

whoa!! belos is a bastard!! come on, still attepmting to manipulate luz??

also ‘you’re human, you’re better than this’ ‘WELL WE AINT’ (stomps) YESSSS 

and the acid rain not hurting luz….nice detail. the titan does look upon her

-

’Hunter deamonne is canon!!’

–

uh??? no- no more glyphs???????  nooo

–

my babies!!!! theyre all so grown up now

–

in remembrance of flapjack 

ToT

…..

i’m going to cry now. bye

i have no grand speech about how much this means to me, mostly bc there are no words to describe it. it’s just…..thank you, TOH, for being in my life.

#toh spoilers #wad toh

[anosci]

(181-196 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14])

names and thoughts below cut

181/ (all mono211/monotonik releases, 1999) saddened that "End of an Era LP" (source of the album art im using) is primarily colored by dnb, even if its high quality. otherwise, a million singles. standouts mostly mp3: "gobblad" feeling that turn of the century chill style "702" fascinatingly rephlex "benedict" ok some dnb is fun actually "Shadowfighter" what rebelious energy! standout!!

---

182/ (all Tokyo Dawn Records releases, 2000) mixed bag etc etc. best at hip hop. "killer of the zodiac" dnb yes, but. this guy is weaponizing his mp3 encoder. love it "reckoning" brandishing lofi "limits" as central assets? ace. "surnaturel forme" ace trip hop turntable timbre

---

183/ VA - supermariountwirled ep (2000) get dunked on ocr emix we're sampling the chiptunes for our technos in the y of 2k!!! …oh. it's not great :( yeah sadly this is filled with poor execution, even when the ideas are fun. only "flying mario (xllv remix)" is worth keeping imo

---

184/ (all mono211 non-albums, 2000) mono y2k KICKING ASS. herein lies the good stuff! ex: "we're like air.." EXACTLY the made at home optimistic post-y2k electronica i adore holy shit "Timecrunch EP" gorgeous!! cant get over how good this is!!!!!!!! "woozy dog" homemade y2k! homemade y2k! homemade y2k!

---

185/ (all mute releases i found on an ftp, mostly y2k) a very bedroom idm romp. sadly i didnt particularly vibe with this selection. it feels very focused, but on smth not quite for me. favs? hmm. proswell had a nice little EP. the unsearchable "insta" by sin is a standout too

---

186/ subi - The Rave-O-Lution Has Been Terrorised (2000) it's a throwback to the sounds of 10 years ago… from 23 years ago. kinda mixed bag of "resonating with me" but still pretty fun. prodigal rave stuff. favs? "var 4rom earf" ez

---

187/ binary - binatone (2000) a little meandery. a little idk. not particularly "bright" but it feels right somehow. lazy afternoon vibes i guess? standout: "ivor commodore part 3" i think. also enjoying "formel 2" and "ballad of pam and tommy part 5" for quite different reasons

---

188/ Andy Stott - Faith In Strangers (2014) slowly unfolds into heavy soundscapes. less "fog" or "smoke" and more like humid air that's too hot to breathe. and then sometimes its just slappy beats. highlights? "Violence" perhaps. "How It Was" is also massive

---

189/ Kink - For The People (2023) 3 nonstop slappers but i PARTICULARLY vibe with "Kazan". sadly, 1 slap stopper at the end (i do not vibe with that vocal sample in "Vacation")

---

190/ L.A.M. - Balance of Terror (1992) I heard "Nuclear Facelift" was a common track in early AFX sets and yeah i hear why. i love the synthwork overall, really fun stuff, and its ontop of a very early sounding drum soundscape. really cool era encapsulation going on.

---

191/ Cylob - Lobster Tunes (1999) I guess i missed this rephlex release somehow? nonstop DELIGHTFUL sound design grooving in 99 "Wanking Off On Other People's Misery" srsly the groove! "Smash Up The Pram" !!! that weird meter in "Stomping FM"!!!!!

---

192/ KNOWER - KNOWER FOREVER (2023) listening to this like "its ok" then the piano kicks in and im rockin "Real Nice Moment" real into it. "Nightmare" grooooove "It Will Get Real" finally showing its real in the second half. not my fav knower romp but overall ok.

---

193/ Mr. Carmack - Drugs (2014) me saying "kinda bangs actually" repeatedly. it kinda feels like a collection of sketches, which is how it's presented tbf. standouts "insanity and this music industry" holy shit "Dark Hadou (Remix)" retrofuturebanger "lonelyfuckingsamurai"!!!!

---

194/ (Tokyo Dawn Records & Sparks, 2001) plesantly suprised at the shift from dnb to chill br8ks. very ninjatune esque. a few highlights: "buenas" the exact oldschool timbre i crave "night light" oh hell yeah!!! tight! also, much love for michael victory's deep style

---

195a/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 1) (2023) a very pretty, artisanal opening. feels like stunningly beautiful arrangements of music that im not too familiar with, except for "Longing for the Horizon" which is a standout to me. oh, and "The Jellyfish" for similar reasons.

195b/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 2) (2023) two of five. driving up that nrg. im surprised at the super good psytrance chops here! "Downtown Run" is super good i was suspicious of the vocals in "Filthy Lies / Wasted Virtue" but they work so so nicely!

195c/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 3) (2023) three of five. imediately opening with the WILD vibes of "Even Ill Omens Need a Break" "Swagger de Chocobo"!!! koan influence!! making making me love chocobo again! "Willing Sacrifice" rly fun spooky turned beat beats. MkVaff! "A Scar to Match" this brings an absurd energy that i cant help but appreciate "OH!! DEKA-DE-JAZZ-DE-CHOCOBO ~ Dirty Contacts Mix" yooooooooo this is a fun experimental piece that's also just. fun! "Into the Singularity" oh hell that's MASSIVE "A Wounded Spy" everything falls into place. i rly didnt expect to like this but yet. i do

195d/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 4) (2023) four of five. insanely massive opening with "Voces Maledictionis et Spei: Children Fated to Lead" very very happy to see the "massive collab to cover a FF boss theme" resulting in ABSURDLY BANGER tunes trend continue. "Heavy Residents" laughing that ppl are citing random songs that i specifically adore and saying "im referencing that" and then they all rock. "SeeDs of Pandora" title track? it packs the heat.

195e/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 5) (2023) five of five. not at all what I expected, in that I thought it was going to be literally goofy throwaway nonsense and it's far from that lol "Song of the Desperado" is a TREAT. "As One Closes, Another Opens" chipper thing that ends up as somehow nostalgic "The Definition of Insanity" is 100% THE standout tho! absolutely wild fun!

195/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (2023) i ended up dividing my thoughts into one tweet per disc (see above) but overall: i have no attachement to this game. that doesn't stop me from being in awe at the BANGERS here. FF collabs seem to bring out the beast in ppl. also: the shocking quantity of beautiful live stuff!!

---

next page

#media thread

[afrocentric-divination]

real talk, what's the ad situation like in Life Makeover? I got so sick of Covet bc i didnt wanna spend money and i ended up watching so. many. ads. 😂

Oh em gee no ads!! I’ve been playing for 3 days straight and forgot that I didn’t see a lick of advertisement (besides them trying to get you the buy the packages they have)

So Life Makeover is still like how I described except there is a detective element in the main story line. You play as the main character who loves fashion and wants to be a designer but ends up getting wrapped up into some detective shit and staying with it. Your character as is very brash sometimes (hilariously annoying). Very techno, very electronic, people died in the gameplay?! Nothing gruesome but still so random. This second story also touches on abuse and manipulation. So there are touchy subjects.

In terms of the actual gameplay, it resembles Love Nikki or any other dress up gatcha in that there is a lot of little tasks to do. The “to-do list” of the game helps you do everything you need to do everyday and there are little diamonds everywhere to tell you what to tap on and check.

Getting clothes is straight forward. I can only imagine what my wardrobe is gonna look like in a month.

The first day you play you get alot of energy to play with. I did about 60 episodes in the main gameplay before I ran out.

Darker skin tones!! I think the light make up, like blush, don’t look that great but they have alot of different options so you will be able to find something cute.

You can dye your cloths!! That part with different colors needs to be unlocked bit by bit and each grouping of colors need to be unlocked for every single clothing piece. That part is annoying but you get rewards for doing it so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Overall, I say it’s an 8.5/10. The storyline of the game is jarring depending on who you are and I’m always going to take off points for not including bigger bodies or making the make up work for deeper skin tones. You can make your character a big bigger, but the body look like a Med-Large in terms of today’s bodys. (It’s also a Asian game so, that makes sense).

And in terms of spending money on the game, I’m the kind of person who is cheap and barely spends money on app games. You definitely can spend money but if you don’t, you won’t be held back from the game.

#life makeover #love nikki