#i dont think it’s fair to say they were being completely cruel when they had second thoughts abt rescuing him

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

A summer wedding p.1

An insane amount of Angst heart break

A little fluf if you can call it fluff, a character calling herself names NO self harm though Ari is a warning in himself.

P.s. a jury is a performance final for musicans reblogs are welcome no posting or publishing online or print

Rachel and David's wedding was beautiful. In begining of it I imagined it was me and Ari. I loved seeing him in his suit and standing rhere next to the groom. Hair just so. Posture just so. He even mouthed I love you." And in reply I said "I love you too."

He looked so hansome I hoped one day maybe we'd  have a summer wedding

In the reception. I didn't mind being away from him as the wedding party was sat together. He had come to me and we were dancing together. He first came to me when they put on  Ella firzgerald's Our Love is Here to Stay. Which now seems like like a cruel joke. Even more that he wispered the lyrics in my ear. I don't even know what happened. How it happened it just erruptrd. Like mt. Vesuvius. They didn't  have a word for volcano before that did you know that? And I dont even have a word to describe what happened.

We had a big fight... huge!

Bad. I was crying. He was crying. Things weren't thrown but we were banging on things.

The poor dog, well our dog, technically his  but I take him when hes been on assignment hut he hasn't left lately.  Anyway our Pup was just standing there his head like a tennis ball as we went back and forth. Doors were being slammed. I dont think I ever saw him cry before. I've never seen him. Ari never cries. I mean never. Not at funeral of other agents, Not even after the that custody agreement or lack there of hurt him knowing his ex wife had full custody of Maya and Maya was being taken to live in Austria with her Mother... and Ari could do nothing but hope to see Maya whenever he could fit it in. And I was more than supportive. I didn't care if Ari had gone to see Maya but he iften brought me with him but I loved staing at the hotel so they could have time. Unless Maya specifically asked for me to come and sometimes she did.

He never cries but that night he did.

I don't even know what what happened just that did. But I waited. To give him his space. The air still felt charged the next day. I left him a note in th kitchen. "I'm  in the guest bedrrom and I taped it to the microwave he had to see that. But he didn't say a word that day. At lesst not to me. So I waited another day to say something but that was it I couldnt wait 2 days. It seemed he couldnt either.

"I'm  sor-                   ry"          

"I want to break up"

We both said at he same time but I had the last syllable. Like the other night I had th le last word but he slamed the dooor last.

"Ok I mean not ok i mean im not-" I sighed and took a breath.

"If you want to break up. I, " I breathed in. "It's not something I want but you obviously have a right to call it off. But I still want to apologize first. Before I go I mean."

He said  "Ok" so calm so cool so colleected that I almost completely lost it. Ari...was like he didn't care maybe he didn't. Days ago we were go happy laughing and kissing and just dancing looking into eachothers' eyes. We were so happy.

"I've just been under a lot of stress and I took it out of your and that wasn't fair of me, at all. It was stupid. And I'm  sorry. I should've appologized that night or the next morning. I just thought i should give you time to not exactly cool off but we were both emotional I thought I was doing the right thing by giving you a day."

"I still want to-"

"That's fine. I'll  respect that. Can I um have a few day to get mt stuff together. Which guest room- I mean I can stay in a guest room right? MeanIfYouWantMeToICanGoToAHotel ThisWholeThingIsMyFaultI shouldGoToAHotel.

He reached out and I immediately went silent. He reached out like he's done so many times before but his hand cupped my face it veared at the last second, falling on my shoulder not on my face.

"Breathe. You can take the main."

"No really I don't I should I-"

"Take it." He said wih a nod of encouragement.

"OK"

I stood there. Breaghing heavily. My heart beating out of my chest. Tears I was blinking back. I didn't know what to do. It was like a faceoff. Then he move first. I swollowed hard-I thought he was going to kiss me on the forehead but no, I mearly felt his hot breath on my forehead as he got a little too close steping around me.

I don't know if he was being cruel and teasing me or of my maybe it was for himself, not completely letting go of me yet. I get it it takes time if I do at all.

I spent the rest of the day outside mostly crying, I put somethings together sobbing and that night but when I came across rhe Star of David he gave me before he left on a mission for two and a half weeks, the first mission he'd been on since we had been together. I was so scared and he told me he promise he'll come back to get it, come back to me.  Holding it in my hand I

just lost it. And I never got my composure back

The poor pup, well not a pup but I call him pup. Had gone back and forth between the two of us, I suppose as he had dissapeared for some time and then came back. I don't exactly know where my now ex was. I only came inside if I didn't see him or come out of the bedroom if he wasn't

I only stepped out of the room if I knew he wasnt around. Peaking out quietly making sure I didnt hear his voice or his feet or anything to things easier on both of us.

I fet bad taking anything to eat or drink. None of it was for me anymore. So I just took a bag of chips and a sleeve of crackers and a bottle of water.

But he has those big bottles so that'd last me a while. But, that night...that night was worse. I had tried to orginize my things but I did what I could do until it became too much and I just collapsed in tears. Crying so hard and so much giving myself a migraine.

I had no one to call, no one to talk to. I didn't have very many friends and I know the ones I did wouldn't care to talk to me about this at all. They were mearly serface friendships. Hair makeup gossip shit not like this. Although I had talked to them about our relationship, this wasn't  something they'd ever help me with. His friends were nicer to me but I wasn't going to go there. So that night I called my own cellphone left myself a rediculousy long voicemail I'd deleate in the morning.

"I can't believe I was so fucking stupid. I shouldn't have just done what I normally do, I know I said I wouldn't but i didnt and then this happens. I just I don't even know what I'm  doing anymore. I don't even feel right taking some water or food.  had some crackers some chips so I think that'd  be ok. I mean I know I should but it just doesn't feel right to eat more.

I have 3 essays due on the same day each 10 pages long. My jury to prepare for and Im still haveing trouble with pronouning some German, I planned to ask Ari for more help he was good with a German accent. And then my boss wants me to put together some 22 odd powerpoint presentation together for him. My family is just ugh I feel like I'm drowning underwater eor being strangeled and now this. I want Ari back ll i know he could pul me out if the water- he always did. Now Im alone J want to quit everything and just live in a hole. Nothing is going right. Maybe in a few months after I recover from all this I can just hit the reset button and start over what I can and just whatever I can't, just screw it. I have to try to find a way to live with myself now. I mean I want to talk to him, to tell him that I don't want to do this. I don't want to leave things like this I want to just fight for us but it's what he wants. Who am I to just say "no" that's selfish of me horrible of me. I mean if its the otherway around I wouldn't want him forcing anything on my or feeling like Im trying to. I hate myself so much right now and theres nothing I can do to stop it or to feel better. I'm a horrible person for just causing all this. He was crying I've never seen him genuinely that sad or that mad before it wasn't some movie or scene he was right infront if me and it was because of me. I just feel like I lost everything. Like I lost myself. No, It's true he is everything to me. If I lost him I -," I scoff at myself if I lost him who am I freaking kidding I who did lose him, I lost everything and I have no one to blame but myself." I sobbed into my pillow.

"I just want Ari. He means everything to me and I just feel like I'm worthless peice of shit for making him cry. He never does I can't imagine how much I hurt him for him to cry. I'll never forget that. I just feel like everything is numb because... I lost him for good... the one good thing I had in the life my only is gone."

In some wacked out tripped up vision in my mind he was sitting right outside the door listening to me pour my heart out. listening to me cry for hours. And he'd give me another chance realizing I'm  punishing myself far more than he ever could. Or that

Maybe he'd  come in and wake me up or stroke my hair or something like he used to do to wake me up sometimes I dont know if it always would wake me up since he'd say i tried to wake you. But he'd  come in and I'd say that. "I don't expect to be forgiven. I just want another chance. To A chance to again to make up for it. To say let me show you I'm worth something...anything...I don't know I don't even think he could look at me. You should've seen him when he said ok so cool and calm and collected. He hates me. So much. I don't blame him. Even I hate me." 

I cried myself to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept for or what time it even was when there was a knock on the door. It wasnt quiet but it was quiet enough for me to not be sure if I heard it or not. It had gotten louder and louder again. I finally got out if bed shuffling to the door and I turned the handle but I stopped, giving him time to leave if he wanted to.

I opened the door and nothing. There was nothing. Great I'm imagining, hearing things now.  I happened to look down and

There was a sandwich with a note "I noticed no food was missing. Eat. Please."

He made me a sandwich. It was nice of him considering everything.

Ari's P.O.V.

"Sammy you should have heard her,"To be continued....

Tag list

@sparklybarbarianninja @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sapphire-rogers @nana1000night

#avengers #steve rogers #ransom drysdale #chris evans x plus size reader #steve rogers fanfiction #ari levinson imagine #ari levinson x female reader #chris evans #chris evans characters #ari levinson x you #ari levinson x reader #nomad steve #johnny storm x y/n #johnny storm x you #soft!ransom drysdale

[dualityvn]

thank you nightmare for the delicious lore crumb i will now drive myself crazy over it for everyone's enjoyment

alright so, "the game isnt supposed to exist. you're supposed to forget it" right off the bat i have a pretty good idea of what i think the first part means, which ill get to, but ill be frank i have No clue what the second part is supposed to mean. maybe ill think of it as i work the first part out, maybe not, but going into this i am Clueless.

diving right into the first part then, as soon as i read it i was reminded of magic man, and how he interceded on our behalf to stop Keith from seeing an ask that would have upset him. when we questioned Keith and Tenebris about magic man later, we learned that he had approached and spoken to Keith the day we first meet him, after we had left the flower shop, and told him that we (the MC) would be someone who could love him. (i wanted to find the exact post so i could quote it but i cant find it so if im mis-rembering something let me know)

so, if we assume that magic man is in fact, magic, and somehow pulled some strings to get this "fated meeting" between the boys and the MC to happen, then i think that pretty solidly solves the question of why the game isn't supposed to exist.

because its not supposed to. we were never supposed to meet Keith and Tenebris, and they were never supposed to get attached to us, but it Has been created and they Did. but something that's not supposed to exist has to be created, which explains the existence of magic man.

what i still dont get is magic mans motives tho. if he is the one that made it possible for the game to exist, and for the boys and the MC to meet each other and fall in love, Why? why would he do that? what does he get out of it? what made him look at Keith and Tenebris and say "ill handle it"

is it because hes been in a similar situation? because he knows what its like to be deemed "unlovable" by those around him? we know from the one picture we have of him that he has some scarring on his face, what happened to him to cause that? does it have something to do with why he seemed to go out of his way to help both us and the boys?

magic man is such a fascinating character in this world primarily because we know nothing about him. we know that he is aware of us, and that he is aware of the power our words have on Keith and Tenebris. we know he gave advice to Keith that he wont tell us about, and that Tenebris doesn't know all the details either. and that's like,, it.

to be fair, i could be completely wrong here, all of this is counting on magic man being magic, and i honestly have no other leads if that's not the case.

i also still have no idea what "you're supposed to forget it." is supposed to mean. it could be related to a couple of things, like how in the game once you finish a playthrough, that's it for that particular version of the boys. they're done and move on, forever mourning the connection to you that they once had but will never have again. if you start a new playthrough, you are given a completely new set of them, who are exactly the same, but yet are not the same ones as before. (which, side note, is so cruel and heartbreaking to think about)

anyways, thank you nightmare once again for sharing with me i have been thinking about this nonstop since last night when i saw it and it has been eating my brain alive

Sorry for the wait, Cacti, I finally dug this out of my ask pile.

But you're right about the fact that "he" is involved. However, none of the motives you listed are right :P And unfortunately, you won't find out until a future game. But your efforts are appreciated!

#duality game #yandere #dating sim #visual novel

[the-acid-pear]

Okay i don't have the brain power to watch the rest of NRN NAT video but god that first half was horrendous anyway here's my "Reason You Suck" Speech for anyone who cares

Okay i actually got so railed up about this i got a headache so i need to counter argue to many of your points about Steven. Starting with something i see a lot of people not realize and is that yes, indeed, all endings ARE canon. This is pretty clearly explained by Henry in the secret tape (you get it from fishing it out the ballpit or from the dodo, both very annoying methods so i dont blame anyone from missing this) and it explains Jack's soul is one with time powers that will revert time based on regret. With this, we know not only EVERY ending and game over is canon but also something Jack remembers.

Keeping this on mind, Jack's obvious bias towards Dave compared to Steven MAKES sense, because there's no timeline where Steven is nice unless he's doing it out of being forced to do so (owing you a favor). On top of that, there's another detail: Jack DID know about Dave's backstory!

When he learned it is obviously not clear but there's to places where its implied he does, in fact, know about it: Dee's fight, obviously, and Jake's backstory. In Dee's fight she asks him for confirmation on whether this was true and he's like "yeah" meaning this isnt news for him, and in Jake's backstory he talks about this EVEN if he didnt go to the flipside or heard the tapes, meaning that at some point he had an honest heart to heart with Dave about his past and such.

Now, relating it back to Steven: I feel that they cannot even be fucking compared. I think Steven would be better compared to the other two phone guys we see making a decision like this, those being Harry (ironically the one who made Steven) and Peter. I mean, Roger and Jake are also in the same situation, but they're just following what their boss says so they cannot be counted in.

Peter for his part is an outlier, because he's the first Phone Guy we EVER see decide to not send someone to the factory (that being Jimbo), completely ignoring what this would mean for him (if anything, since we don't really know if there are consequences or not). Harry and Steven, obviously, did send their respective coworkers there, but there's a main difference: Steven was utterly remorseful about this while Harry kind of... thought genuinely this was a good idea?

Which does say a lot about how Harry views himself but it also says something about Steven: that he's a fucking coward. Which we did, in fact, know, but this reinforces it.

Steven made a choice by his own voalition, and i don't think this is even fair to compare with Dave. Dave was being abused and manipulated by his father figure and the only person who had ever been nice to him, the only person he thought he had in the world. He was regretful too but he really wanted to trust Henry because what did he have if he left? Steven on the other hand is not being "molly cuddled" by anyone but a manual.

This isnt to say Steven isnt tragic, he is! He, like everyone else, is a complex and tragic character who did unfortunately go quite unexplored, but he's also a bad person because he chooses to be so. He'd have been like Peter, he'd have broken the cycle, he'd have done anything a man aware of the weight of his actions could do, but he didn't, because he was scared!

Also i must point out this very cowardice also reflects on his own violence because to say he's not as bad as Peter is just plain bullshit. Peter was a bit more festive yes but he at least let you Pee On Slides and Gave You Warnings. Steven kicked me in the fucking springlocks because my puns were bad. That guy was brutal and cruel but also wouldnt dare to kick Jack's ass if he was out of that stupid cool cat suit.

So, to wrap this up now that my blood pressure went to safe levels again: when you look at the whole picture Jack's feelings towards Dave and Steven are not entirely unjustified. The way that tangerine goes about doing anything at all is highly questionable though but he's like everyone else just a flawed individual. And that's what makes this franchise so compelling

#luly talks #i feel like ill shit myself out of stress if i hear her say another word #this is just shit analysis man YOU DONT GET IT #the way she talks about dave and jack tho is so funny like god i think i ship them more than before #but she's like HE LIKES THAT GUY TOO MUCH 👎👎👎 like god forbid a man is a faggot 🙄 #see literally that's the only thing i didnt think of before but now i changed my mind like yknow yeah #maybe you're right maybe jack does care about dave way more than i give him credit for #god i need something to relax i seriously im in pain rn I HAVE A PILL #I HAVE A PILL THIS IS LIKE CHRISTMAS FOR ME NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO LULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #dsaf

[allamericansbitch]

brazilian fans are dissapiunted because Ana's family was begging for donations and taking out a bank loan to bury their daughter. Swifties came together to help them cover the costs which was nice but T4F and Taylor are multimillion dollar companies that could have reached out to help.

The family said they were looking for an investigation into the venue but were aware the artist and her team were trying to help fans by giving them water, so they're not even trying to blame Taylor.

So fans are upset that for fans in the us Taylor can do swiftmas, send wedding presents, pay thousands in student loans, etc but a brazilian swiftie dies and Taylor doesn't even reach out to the family. Something that artists like Ariana have done in the past when fans die in their shows.

There's also the issue that Taylor only acknowledged the death of Ana in a story that is no longer on her page, said story doesn't say Ana's name, says that she died before Taylor's set started (which isn't true she died during Cruel Summer), and ends with Taylor saying that they didn't expect this to happen when she decided to tour Brazil (and as brazilian fans have been enduring a ton of xenophobia from even before the shows started the sentence rubbed them the wrong way). This, combined with the fact that she said won't talk about it on stage, made fans think she's trying to downplay it or ignore it, with the latest Travis Kelce article they're extra upset.

I don't think it's fair to say they're just trying to hate on Taylor. Most of the Brazilian swifties I've seen say something about this are big fans of her, they're just hurt by her silence and lack of support for the family. They're also frustrated that some swifties keep telling them it would be too hard/impossible for Taylor (the literal billionaire) to reach out and help them. They're not even asking for her to help the other fans cover their medical bills a swiftie has literal second degree burns on her leg now.

I really don't think they're using Ana as a game. I live here in latam, not brazilian, but every discussion about Ana's death I've had with a swiftie or even concert goer has been about the pain we feel at her loss, even if we didn't know her. There's just a big sense of community that we have, and her death really hit us. Ana's death is big deal here I can't imagine how Brazilian swifties must feel.

I have nothing but compassion for Brazilian Swifties right now, even if I don't agree with everything they're saying/doing. Sorry for the long ass ask, have a nice day Sarah <3

i completely get the frustration and can understand being disappointed that taylor seems to not be acknowledging it, but i think we need to have a little more compassion here. like i said theres no right way to handle this, its not a normal situation. it literally just happen a few days ago and grief is a very difficult thing that takes on so many forms. the people of brazil have every right to be disappointed shes not seemingly doing a lot, but also shes probably dealing with the pressing issue of making sure it doesnt happen again, fight the venue to reschedule and getting water and other services available for people. of course she could be doing more but so much happened in the last 48 hours (a lot of which is probably behind the scenes stuff we dont even know about). i dont wanna make excuses for her and again i agree that the people have a right to be disappointed, i just think pointing the finger at someone who is also dealing with a lot and grieving from this isnt the best option.

#answered #anonymous

[ankhisms]

have experienced what feels like 800 emotions in rapid succession on a rollercoaster today and it hasnt even really been a bad day honestly or anything im fine you know how it is

my mood swings have just been a lot stronger than they usually are since thats one of the biggest things my meds are for theyre like supposed to be a mood swing stabelizer but anyway

something that im aware is related to my more severe paranoia and obsessive compulsive issues but is less severe and more just adjacent to those is like being scared that im somehow a hypocrite about various random things or that im somehow secretly an awful horrible person who hurts people and does bad things without me even realizing that im doing that. im also aware that this very much stems from the way my abuser treated me and also the behavior of ""friends"" i had when i was younger who just now as im older i realize honestly didnt even like me and kept me around to make fun of me and be cruel to me together as a kind of group bonding thing.

which sucks because when im doing self soothing techniques and trying to calm myself down or even just approaching these thoughts and talking myself thru things it can be hard to counter the fear of "what if my friends or people i know in general actually talk together about how im an awful person and they hate me or talk together about how ive done something wrong without telling me?" with "no thats not fair or true and not based in reality" because it very much WAS reality for me. not in the sense of me having done something "wrong" in the past with those ""friends"" but like them being cruel to me and making fun of me when i wasnt around and the things i did ""wrong"" were just my autistic traits and other symptoms of my various mental things especially during that period of my life where i was completely unmedicated and had just gotten away from my abuser and was still in the awful school environment of being harrassed every single day.

anyway its really like. i know i shouldnt worry about this, rationally i know this. but just because i know something isnt rational it doesnt make my brain stop obsessively thinking about it so its like i could see someone saying "i hate when people go to the moon and jump up and down and sing the abcs" (ridiculous example bc i cant think of anything else) and i could at first go oh yeah i get that and like their post but then my brain will go but what if ive done that without realizing it and they see me liking their post and they go "ugh rey this post is about YOU and people like you and youre such a hypocrite and dont even know it" and the spiral begins. and in the end i guess all of this just goes to show that having people pretend to be friends with you only to hate you and ridicule you and pick apart every little thing you do behind your back really fucks you up.

also thinking about the ex close friend who cut me off out of nowhere with no explanation for seemingly no reason about a year or so ago now and ive continued to have kind of taking off the rose tinted glasses moments where i loved and cherished this friend so much that i excused how shitty they treated me at different times. not at all saying they are or were a bad person or that there was any abuse going on or anything like that but im just realizing that we both come from dysfunctional abusive families and we both have our own physical and mental problems and so throughout our friendship we both mightve not made the best choices or couldve handled things better and im not exempt from that. but also i realized that he would not tell me if i had done something to upset him and it would be like a guessing game for me and would really stress me out and make me feel awful

and its like. now as im older i would want to be able to talk things out and understand what had happened and be able to apologize and work on doing better. and in general thats something i really try my best on like i think in the past i would really get stuck in obsessively overthinking in self analyzing and get into moral obsessive compulsive spirals that just ended up hurting myself more than helping me grow, and anyway i always want to be able to step back and look at myself and my actions and be willing to listen if someone tells me ive done something hurtful or that i need to re-examine my behavior and beliefs, i think im pretty good at listening to people about stuff like that and have gotten much better about not falling into those spirals i just mentioned and examining myself in smaller healthier doses

but at the same time i do really get worried that people just arent telling me that theyre upset with me or that ive done something wrong or hurt them in some way. i really just want to be a good friend to people and i dont want people to be scared of coming to me and talking with me if ive done something to hurt them or to just talk about things with me in general and i dont want people to think im so fragile and mentally fucked up that theyd be scared of upsetting me by telling me id done something hurtful and letting it fester instead. i dont want to hurt people i want to spend my life making people happy and helping people and being a good friend, thats what i want most out of my relationships in life overall. i want to make people feel content and happy and safe.

but idk i just get scared. please be honest with me be upfront with me be blunt with me even i know im traumatized but i wont shatter into a million pieces if you tell me youre upset with me ill appreciate you being honest about it and ill stop whatever it was i was doing or work on it. i know im bad with social cues bc of autism and if i misunderstand something or say something inappropriate/out of my lane due to this please just tell me yknow

i really hate that my brain is like this and that having been abused and mistreated in the past has made me struggle like this because i want to trust that people arent talking badly about me or angry with me secretly i dont want to be so paranoid i dont want people to feel like they cant be honest with me or that im made of glass and that ill shatter if they tell me theyre upset with me, i want to trust that the people in my life like me and dont secretly hate me and im really trying hard but paranoia isnt something i can just magically wave away yknow its something im probably going to be dealing with for most of my life and im always kind of scared that people are going to get tired of my paranoia

despite living in survival mode constantly i still love all the people in my life a lot and i just want everyone to be happy and safe and i always wish there was more i could do to help everyone and i want everyone to be able to thrive and to be living comfortably and have all their needs met and to get all the help they need i love everyone a lot i want everyone to be okay and yeah

have also been majorly overthinking about if i want to do something that im being vague about as i ramble about it which i know is silly and its not even like something bad or negative but i just keep overthinking about the possible what if scenarios of oh what if i do this and they react really badly and cut me off and never want to talk to me again and due to this im also unfortunately like overthinking most things recently and being even MORE scared than usual of coming off as weird or being weird and making people uncomfortable but aint that just the way yknow. ill either do it or ill be a coward

anyway besides that my days been pretty decent its a lovely early autumn day. after typing this all i realized im probably feeling super emotional and weird because i just started my period lmao but thanks if you read this i love u mwah

[old-stoneface]

holding myself back from criticizing another fuckin podcast . i just. i really take my mythology seriously. and i hate it when people write stories abt folklore and mythology etc and they act like everything is so weeeeird and straaaaange and like these characters from legend are real and Evil . and when people dont know basic shit. like in this podcast one character was like "i hope we see a selkie" and the other was like "how do you know what a selkie is?" ITS A SELKIE. ITS REALLY NOT AN UNKNOWN FOLKTALE. CMON GUYS. PLEASE TRY HARDER W YOUR WRITING. like it just sucks! it really sucks. people should be taking more scholarly interest in these topics, and i understand writing your own stories based on them, but youre making this all a lot more dressed up than it needs to be. the people who grew up learning traditional stories found in their corner of the world and believing in them over thousands of years are not lesser than us, they lead just as complex lives with the same complex emotions as we do now in the modern age, and acting like they were idiots is horrible. the same podcast im complaining abt w the selkie thing also had an interaction between two characters where one was like "wasnt that god evil? didnt people perform human sacrifices to them?" and the other replied "thats just what people did. the god wasnt necessarily evil. we shouldnt judge a god based on what people do in their name." okay. okay. there is a lot to unpack there (/neg), but what i want to point out is that this shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what a god is. a "god" is a reflection of humankind that was imagined to explain why life works a certain way. the storms are destroying the crops? must be that someone is angry with us! there must be a reason besides "the world is just like this", because that isnt fair! the world cannot just be cruel! there needs to be a reason. and thus, we have figures like thor and zeus born into existence. gods are reflections of people. they are morally gray or even absent from a moral code altogether, because they arent seen as human. humans need reasons that bad things happen. humans need comfort. they need someone to blame or thank. You Cannot Say That A God Is Not Responsible For Its Worshipers Because Gods Are Not Real. A God Is A Construct Of Human Belief. All That A God Is Is A Belief. they exist because we say so!!!!

as an aside, yes i do love stories abt mythology where gods are real and taken seriously. one of my favorite movies is the northman because it takes that belief and religion and practice completely seriously, and its incredible and fascinating and horrifying, as gods are supposed to be. i love that. i grew up reading percy jackson as an adolescent because it was kid friendly mythology, and i love mythology. i find it so interesting to put ourselves in the mindset of "what if it is real?" because thats a different sort of world that we can dream up. the silt verses, for fucks sake!!! one of my favorite podcasts! literally about "what if all gods were real"! runemarks by joanna harris!! go read it!!!! its my favorite adaption of norse myth!! i am not being a killjoy. i am just saying you need to Think about what youre writing before you write it. also i hate stories that blend mythology, assuming they can combine the myths of sirens with mermaids and erase historical folklore, saying that "all creatures exist alongside one another but theyre all so isolated they havent had any interesting interaction" its so stupid. most gods are the same gods and thru those repeated stories and ideas and concepts we can get a better idea of what was historically important to humankind. dont read american gods though...the ending sucks and is a total letdown....you wont enjoy it. but it does introduce some interesting topics of how belief travels across the world and births new religions. really cool. however i dont like that book so dont read it

#sorry for the rant i just get really heated abt this kind of thing #i need to stop listening to podcasts that make me angry #UUUGGGHHHHHH i still want to make my own where i just read out folktales and myths and shit like that #just straight up from the page no flowery additions from the presenter just . the story itself. #because im really sick of people acting like this kind of thing is so unknown #and then acting like the people who grew up learning these stories and traditions are a different species #to respect someone you need to see them as human and not something more or less. #sam.txt

[bookofmirth]

frankly i dont understand that anon about cassian. because he absolutely defends nesta multiple times throughout the book. and apologizes for the 'everyone hates you' comment. he tells rhys off for being an asshole to nesta several times, he says that nesta has the right to know about her made weapons. ill agree on the lake scene. but i really dislike the take of 'cassian is borderline abusive to nesta because he snaps at her for saying intentionally nasty things' . when she says those things to be cruel, knowing that theyll get under his skin.

im not saying that nesta is always at fault because she definitely is not. but again its this weird thing where nesta is always the victim to some

I did lie a little bit in my last post, yes I am team female characters but Cassian and Lucien are honorary members of that team. Okay and Helion. But that’s it.

I think the intention is a big reason why people do or don’t like Nesta. Yes Nesta had trauma and mental health issues but there are a lot of times when she is very intentionally saying things that hurt people. She’s not just rude, she’s cruel. And this isn’t just acotar, this continues through acosf. Like you said, she’s not just pushing buttons, Nesta is like gleefully doing an emotional keysmash. Okay maybe not gleefully because we do see that she’s conscious of what she’s doing and doesn’t necessarily want to react that way.

I’m gonna be completely frank here - I would intensely dislike Nesta if I were to meet her irl because I don’t ever see a need for cruelty. She’d say something to push me away and I’d be like “ok bye then!” I know this will make people side eye me, maybe more than my post blasting the fandom earlier today, but it’s just how I feel!

I don’t really have a point here in responding to you 😅 I guess I try to understand everyone’s opinion of the characters. And it’s been a while since I read acosf, like I said in my last post, so I should reread before getting more into thoughts on nessian in that book.

A few more thoughts, there is a reason it took me three weeks to reply to that ask - when I first read it I really violently disagreed but I wanted to be fair to the anon so I waited. @symphonyofbleedingshadows can verify this 😂 I also don’t think that, much like the Archeron sisters, there needs to be a contest between the characters? Like who is more right than whom? Their relationship is complicated, honestly it’s probably more complicated than feysand’s is. I see a lot of conflict in their future and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. As someone who has been in a long (long) term relationship, if fights were always about winning then the relationship would have gone nowhere fast.

#how do I tag this #without starting fights #🤔 #nessian #ask #anon #acotar #acosf #Nesta #Cassian

[ky-the-squiddy]

"you dont use (personal label?) well, then, whenever people are using (word) to refer to your entire group, youre not invited" seems a little silly to me. i completely understand where your post is coming from and i am pro-use of queer in most circumstances, but i can't opt in or out of being in the 'queer community' simply because i don't usually label myself that. when people refer to the 'queer community,' using it as shorthand for lgbt, that includes me. Did Sappho call herself queer? can we only discuss queer texts by queer writers who are contemporary enough to self-identify, because retro-actively adding the label to them seems hypocritical if not using the label yourself removes you from the community. Idk. It all sort of comes off like an attempt to alienate the whole swaths of the community - the kinds from places where queer is a dagger, the kinds who flinch when they hear it, the poor and rural. I understand that there is no easy solution to the discourse, but it comes off as intentionally alienating and cruel to me to say that anybody who doesn't use the right word is suddenly no longer trans, gay, bisexual, a lesbian, etc - especially when they're going to be grouped in with the queer community either way.

I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sorry if my post came off as if I were purposely uninviting you, that wasn't my intention. I more wanted to address the fact that there's a helluva lot of people online that take the use of terms like 'the queer community' extremely personally, to the point of butting in on unrelated conversations and derailing them.

You're right, there really is no easy solution for shorthand terms, and the thing is... there never will be! That's just kinda how it is when there's millions and millions of us from literally every walk of life on this planet. The internet and the whole global village phenomenon and toxic discourse and all that jazz just makes trying to discuss all of this even more confusing, and often even more upsetting.

As far as academia goes... It's a mess, and basically any queer studies academic would agree with me, I'm sure. We can't retroactively label people, yeah (there are plentiful debates over whether it's fair to even call Sappho a lesbian), but much of the field (as far as I'm aware) is spent on studying works from the last century or so, or viewing texts/events/historical figures through a modern lens. I will agree that my description in my other post was reductive so I could make a point, though.

I have had 'queer' thrown in my direction as a slur (a rally for marriage equality, my first pride event, I was barely 18), and that's part of the reason I wear it as a label so proudly now. But I also get how that experience could turn people off the word entirely. But I also think that if you've had the experience of any word hurled in your direction like that, then it's important to find community with other people who share that experience, even if they don't share your words.

#ky stuff #anonasks

[tamberoo]

Sherlocksflataffect did not fucking coin a single phrase and is in fact stealing credit from the people who actually deserve it, she’s a complete fraud and a fucking putz.

tl;dr: my good internet anon... huh? oh you mean [one of my reblogs] of a thread from months ago? bit weird to come at me now but lets talk about that. don't worry, i dont hate you but holy shit this is going to be long, sorry

So, after having to do a fair bit of digging — through not just my blog, but [sherlocksflataffect], [balaclava-trismegistus], [osmanthusoolong], and of course, dealing with terrible Google & Tumblr search algorithms the entire time — simply because this ask is so vague and unclear and very unhelpful, I have had time to reflect on this debacle.

I'll be honest here. I make an effort in my own blog to not share content from some of these users, simply because of where my boundaries are — I am allowed to personally curate the content on my own blog/dash. If this means avoiding users because of personal anxiety or other undescribed reasoning, I am also allowed to not deliberate on why I have those boundaries in the first place. It means listening to friends and users who would like to inform me or perhaps send me asks. But it also easily means I am allowed to give my anon asks a little bit of crap now and then. It was personally quite uncomfortable to have to go through all these blogs to find out what in the hell you were talking about. So my apologies if I am still missing the point or coming across too confrontational, but you could do your part to be clear and helpful! — if it's true that you are doing this because you want to help me grow, which I think some could argue is giving you too much faith: after all, sometimes people just go through the notes on a post to start up fights. Again, I can't tell your intention, your merit, or your efforts because you weren't very clear. That's unfortunate, and I don't believe it really has to be this way.

I will agree with you that if it is true that [sherlocksflataffect] is someone who has used their power or influence to organize hateful mobs against individuals (especially individuals who are ND), simply because they want to have the honor of being the person to coin the term... that's terrible. That's cruel. That's bullshit. That fucking sucks and it shouldn't be this way.

If they really are someone who has "done this for years", then why is the last post from their blog from almost half a decade ago and unrelated? Why are the posts before it from nearly a whole decade ago still unrelated? If they are using new accounts/platforms to continue all of this, why not bother mentioning where those are? Do you see how unhelpful this is to leave this information out?

My reflection on [the thread I reblogged earlier] that sparked this response from you has left me with some differing positions than when I initially reblogged it here. I will say that I still agree with some of the sentiment from the author:

(1) there are many ways individuals can have brains seen as "divergent, different, unhealthy or imperfect" that are actually perfectly healthy despite this difference, and

(2) I don't think that it's unfair for this massive amount of people to be able to use the labels they prefer, feel included or excluded however they prefer, or that debating the pedantry of such labeling of identity is useful in most capacities — and you're hearing that from a self-described "autistic pedant"

I disagree with you on these factors:

Describing this community of neurodivergency in terms of those who "deserve" loose labels/"credit" for coining identity and those who do not "deserve" this... is akin to standing on the loose ground at the face of a cliff. It's a dangerous position to claim, since being so close to an edge can rile up tension and fear, both for bystanders and audience members, and of course for yourself as well. This kind of anxiety can be manipulated into boiling anger and violence by those who seek to disarm our humanity. Conservatives, essentialists, and fascists do this all the time and I think you'd hate to be lumped in with such a crowd

Thanks for the ask, anon. But next time could you please not be so vague? In the meantime, send me cat memes or shit so we could be friendly

#long posts #long post #drama #i think #seriously im sorry i couldnt write about this in a more short manner #i am really quite terrible at making things digestible even when i try my best #i want to be thorough and clear but making things accessible is also just as important #and i think as im aging im figuring out how to balance this better #i certainly dont agree with some of what sherlock-url believes and you did help me reconsider this #if these allegations of their behavior is verified i apologize for not believing you sooner #you should follow my blog and ill send you like. cat memes and thigns #you dont sound like an unreasonable or unfriendly person #just someone whos upset and looking to express that #and it wouldnt be my place to disagree with that unless you were attacking me directly and youre not doing that lol #again send me some cat memes and lets become a little friendly #anyways #to the rest of my friends mutuals and followers i hope youre all doing well #please give love back to yourselves

[probably-haven]

I’ve been thinking about Childe a lot recently- because my friends slander him relentlessly and other than one person who kinda semi-likes him I’m the only one who actually likes his character.... and I know I’ve slandered him a fair amount myself but just- 

-

He was a child. 

A child - No ‘e’. No puns. No jokes. Not this time. 

He was only fourteen. 

-

His story described him as “frightened and hesitant” prior to his time in the abyss. All he wanted was an adventure of his own. To make an adventurer of himself, the likes of which he had heard so many times in the stories of his father. To be like him. He didn’t even go seeking the abyss or any kind of grave danger or incredible power, he was just a naïve little boy, running away from home with almost nothing in chase of a story of his own. 

And yet he was fated to fail, and everything went south almost immediately. Lost in the freezing cold forest environments of Snezhnaya, he was completely alone save for the wild animals on his trail. And by an unlucky roll of the dice - or perhaps because in that moment, his desire and drive to survive, to live, to get back to his family, was so strong that even the abyss itself took notice - the world he knew was stripped away. 

Scared and vulnerable with only a shortsword for protection, Ajax was torn from what already would have served to be traumatizing enough for the child, and thrust into something immeasurably worse. 

Described as “a bottomless crack in the earth’s surface,” “the endless possibilities of another ancient world,” and “the darkest corners of the universe;” the abyss is not a place that ordinary people are meant to survive.  Now I could go on about what the abyss may be or who the swordswoman might be or what might have happened to him, but the point is: it doesn’t matter what happened, his trauma is trauma nonetheless and its not in his control nor is it his fault how his brain decided to process it. Regardless, I think “endless possibilities” within the “darkest corners of the universe” speaks well enough for the severity.

Even without this however, it is important to note that for three months of what logically would have driven anyone to or past the brink, he had one consistent point of relative safety in the form of the swordswoman, a person who while training him for destruction, was also deliberately manipulating into him “the ability to stir up endless havoc.” 

Placed in an extremely traumatic situation like this and being manipulated by one he would have been forced to see as an anchor of sorts, simultaneously holding him together and molding him into the twisted version of himself that she wanted him to be; Realistically, Childe is more a victim than anything else.

And he returned - still only a fourteen year old child - to his home. 

Now an interesting point: based on the wording of his character story, it seems as though when he came out from the abyss, his new demeanor actually unnervingly reflects his hopes when he ran away, implying that the swordswoman very well could have used his own ambition as a cruel mirror to shape him based off, or used them merely as an additional manipulation tactic. “He acted as if this world revolved around him, and as if battle existed for his sake.” Almost as though he were truly the protagonist in an adventure story of his own, just like his father before- or perhaps that’s what he was made to believe. 

Regardless, Childe quickly gained a reputation for havoc, chaos, and violence, as it followed him and he spread it wherever he went, just as he had learnt to do during his time in the abyss, constantly seeking that unpredictability, the thrill of combat. 

And this continued until he went too far, and in response to this, the father that he admired so greatly sent Ajax away into the strict military environment of the Fatui. The idea was that the highly strict environment of training for the literal military, would “hone his son’s temper.” Not dampen, or control, or reduce in any way, but “hone” - to sharpen it, to refine and perfect it. And he watched “fully-armed troops getting the stuffing beaten out of them by a mere child.“

He was only a child. 

Everything he went through in the abyss and all the changes he went through himself, only to be shipped into military by the family who could no longer handle dealing with the effects of what he experienced... 

And he was just a kid. 

-

oh but they honed his temper alright. Not only was he entered in this military training like his father had planned originally, but soon after, the young child was selected and placed within the official ranks of the Fatui themselves under the guise of being a punishment.

Told to work his way up the ranks from the bottom, the Fatui “honed” his temper and penchant for combat towards the purpose of serving the Tsaritsa, encouraging these tendencies that would only continue to grow stronger and more apparent with time as a result of their actions, which was exactly their intent. These, psychologically and neurologically, were the key years for his mental development.

And once again the young Ajax found himself the victim of another’s subtle manipulation.  Until he was Ajax no more. 

-

Childe has been under the constant task of further proving himself since enlisting in the Fatui, and once he gained the recognition of the Tsaritsa, the only next possible way of doing that was by comparing his skills to others. And thus far, he has exceed in this time and time again, so with the evidence before him his arrogant confidence in his abilities is by no means unreasonable. Nor is his tendency to express friendship and varied other things through combat, it’s only natural after besting others in battle became his main source of acknowledgement throughout his younger years. 

He’s fiercely loyal as well, to the point where - were his sense of loyalty not so shrouded in his delusion of what loyalty is meant to be - it would likely border on codependency. He also doesn’t seem to have the greatest understanding of social cues, as expected with his combat-oriented upbringing, and tends to have an unnerving aura to a lot of the things he says that he doesn’t seem aware of. 

His loyalty to the Tsaritsa rings true, and seems to be his highest priority above all others, an ideology that, once again has been drilled into him since the age of 14. However, despite this, he is disliked and avoided even by his fellow harbingers, and often kept out of their true plans in a way that clearly shows what low opinions they have of his abilities in certain areas. 

And yet, through it all, he still maintains his own set of values and seeks to make genuine connections which people, which while these efforts may be unsuccessful in most cases, and these values far in between - It still firmly shows the strength of his character which, though in fragments, managed to remain as a part of who he is in spite of his circumstance. 

-

And i get that he’s memeable and slanderable and easy for a lot of people to just hate outright, i really do but sometimes it feels like a lot of people only ever see him at surface value and a lot of people dont even know his story and even fewer still actually consider the implications of that background. He was literally a child soldier - that and even more; “endless possibilities” more.

I have nothing against Childe slander, genuinely - but eventually, when it reaches a certain extent...

It’s not bad, I’m just tired.

#genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin analysis #genshin tartaglia #genshin ajax #genshin lore #please- what else can i tag this- i feel like i should have more tags for this one but idk what

[introloves]

yay! here’s my secret santa drabble for @cryinorion ! enjoy this (sadly) short piece ! wishing you the best new year !

HEAT:

— soft! tendou + silly and soft and warm humping + clothed frottage + praise + trying to keep warm in cold weather + fluff and soft smut + m! reader

his arms wound around your middle pulling you back into him. you had started to drift and he didnt like it.

“where are you going?” tendou questioned, lips curling up against your neck- nose drifting across your temple, giggling deeply at the way your short hair tickled him.

“not going anywhere...” you responded, arms coming down to curl over his, “why are you so cold?” you hissed, trying to entangle your own fingers into his, seemingly prying his hold from your form. he made a noise of protest at the action, but quickly settled back when you placed them to your cheeks.

“ah- thats better.” voice heavy with sleep and comfort and everything else.

“you’ve been leeching off my warmth for the past like... hour... where does it all go?” you questioned, all teasing... there was nothing more soothing than having him like this.

“well...” tendou mumbled, thinking over if he wanted to ruin this moment with... other activities, “could show you if you really wanted to know.”

the words sent a heat straight up your back, swirling in a heavy warmth straight to your tummy.

“i mean, i’m not going to say no.”

it was all it took for him to disentangle from you, long limbs trapping you under him, the curling ends of his mouth straightened- pinning you with still cold fingertips and a heavy gaze.

“can you feel it?” he questioned, settling down against you, pressing a warm center to your own- it was pure heat.

looking up at him with a smile was the best thing you could’ve him, looking like everything he loved- soft and warm and all his.

“think its only fair to keep you warm now, dont you think?” satori mumbled, leaning down to meet your mouth, kissing you deep and slow. the first movement of his hips had intent, squishing down against you- wiggling to fit himself right next to your own blossoming warmth. it made you tingle, feeling him pressing himself, over and over and you couldn’t do much to reciprocate- he was heavy on top of you and he knew it.

“you look real good, so handsome... feel real good too.” he groaned, looking down and seeing how excited you were too, the soft and slow drags of his hips turned harder, faster- not wasting anytime in giving you and him what you both wanted.

“fuck.” your body squirmed, throbbing at how he sounded and regarded your arousal, the hands he had taken into his began to wiggle, trying to loosen the hold, wanting to touch him.

the nice warmth turned into something more desperate- prickling at your back, sweat just beginning to form thanks to him.

“shit-“ tendou hissed, his own cheeks reddening, unable to stop the way you were bringing him to an early end- simply by being his.

“‘m so not cold anymore am i?” even in this moment he couldnt help but tease, trying for his own sake to stave off that sweet end. he said it knowing you wouldn’t be able to answer it in the way your eyes glossed over, lips parted open in wanton gasps.

he dropped the teasing when he saw how gone you were, now biting down the feeling of pure pleasure in order to make you cum- he wanted it.

“gunna cum for me already pretty boy?” he questioned, the force of him made you gasp, eyes shutting closed- of course he’d pick up the dirty talk right in the precipice of your orgasm.

it was cruel, made everything feel so much more intense, pushing you off the end with the rumbling of his words stomach and thighs tensing all before spilling in a near uncomfortable warmth in your bottoms.

he could feel it, could feel the throbbing and jump of you under him, so nice and compliant and fucked out by just this.

there was no question, that in this moment- there wasnt space for any cold- chilling air from outside, not in the bubble he’s made for you two. the transfer of heat was complete, curling down onto your body to kiss you through it all.

“so good, always such a good boy for me.” he mumbled, resting his forehead onto yours, warm digits curling over your hand- he was warmed all thanks to you.

he came just like that, joining you in the messy, sticky, heavy wetness clinging onto the skin of his crotch, wet noises continued with the way he didn’t stop. it was near torturous, but with the way he cooed your name over and over, it made you bite back any hiss or complaint.

“god- i love you.” tendou murmured, litering kisses to the curve of your nose; both cheeks, all before settling right back at where he started, huffing out heavy puffs of air.

“love you too...” you whispered back, content and tired at it all, tired... but well taken care of and loved.

oh, and more importantly, sharing in the heat, instead of providing him with it all- it moved in tandem between the two of you, curling nicely, just like his lithe frame, slumping down onto you playfully.

#tendou #tendou satori #tendou smut #tendou satori smut #haikyuu smut #tendou x reader #tendou x reader smut #tendou x y/n #tendou x you #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #smut #drabble

[creweemmaeec11]

The Gift of Panic Pt#2

First part

--------------------------------------

After a moment of silence, the villain finially spoke.

"The last birthday present I got..." they started in a quiet, almost whispered tone, "was a bomb..."

"What!?" the hero replied in shock.

"Someone I cared about... though it would be funny to open my present before me as a joke..." they took a deep breath, "they didn't..."

Their voice cracked before they trailed off, and the quickly wiped at their face, abruptly standing up, keeping their back to the hero.

"I don't even know..." the hero replied, trailing off as well. They didnt know what to say, how to respond, what to do. What could they?

"Its fine I just," the villain started, before taking a deep, recomposing breath, "Sorry, I've never told anyone about it,"

"No no, it's okay. God, I can't even imagine..."

"Its alright, I got my revenge in the end," the villain replied, turning back toward the hero.

"Really? How?"

The villain looked at them with a confused expression, before it shifted into an amused smirk, "For legal reasons, and because I don't want to prolong my time in here, I probably shouldn't tell you,"

The hero laughed, "fair point. For what it's worth, I'm glad you got justice, even if it probably isn't the kind of justice I'd agree with,"

"Really? You think I deserve justice?"

"Of course, I think everyone does," the hero said in confusion, as if that was obvious.

The villain huffed a half laugh, giving a small smile, "I need to remember who I'm talking to,"

Both their gazes fell back to the long discarded present on the floor.

"I can take it, if you'd like, but-"

"No no, it's okay, I... I cant believe the words 'I trust you' are coming out of my mouth but I at least trust you didnt gift me a bomb,"

"I don't know if I'm hurt or flattered,"

The villain laughed again, walking over to hesitantly pick up the gift. They turned back to face the hero, holding the box with both hands as they just stared at it.

"The question still remains..." they drawled, before looking up at the hero that was still sat on the bed, "Why would you get me a birthday present?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you get me a gift? Why would you do something like that? For me? I dont think I'm very... deserving of a gift. Especially from you. Unless whatever is in here is some form of mockery- I mean- I guess I shouldn't assume..."

Their eyes dimmed slightly, as if they realized the only thing that could be in the box was something mocking, a heros form of bragging that they had won.

"Okay now I'm definitely hurt,"

The villain looked back up at them.

"Your my friend, I realized your birthday was coming up, so I thought back on our previous conversations, and tried to get something I thought youd like," the hero replied, moving to sit it a more casual position, "There wasnt any more thought put into it then that,"

The villain was now staring at them with wide eyes.

They blinked, seemingly trying to process what they'd just heard.

"I... have questions..."

The hero smirked, tilting their head as a prompt to continue, amused at the normally silver tounged villain being thrown so off their game by something so simple.

"Friend?" The villain responded almost instantly.

"Oh I'm sorry, what would you call this? Marriage?"

"I'd call this me tolerating your visits, whenever you decide to drop by because you've nothing better to do,"

"Maybe at first, but I've seen the way you recently light up whenever I come in,"

"Then you've *recently* begun going blind. I'd suggest seeing an optometrist,"

The hero laughed, "also, for your information, I make time for these visits, I dont just swing by cuz 'I'm bored',"

The villain squinted at that, "You... make time... for me?"

"Yes, that's what friends do,"

"I am not your friend," the villain replied stubbornly.

"Oh yeah? When was the last time you let someone hug you? I have to have passed the friend mark by now,"

The villain blushed, realizing they *had* allowed the hero to hug them, and they couldnt remeber the last time anyone else had even tried, nevermind been *allowed*.

"this is a dysfunctional work relationship at best"

The hero snorted another laugh at that.

The villain glanced down at the box once more.

Finially they knelt down onto the floor, placing the box infront of them. The stared at it for a few seconds, hands shaking slightly as they hovered over it, before taking a deep breath and tearing the wrapping off.

It was a simple brown box with a lid.

The villain chuckled under their breath slightly at that.

"What?" The hero questioned, not seeing anything funny.

"No, sorry I just-, had a thought,"

The hero raised an eyebrow at them.

"I just thought how funny it would be if after all this it turned out to be empty, but that would be cruel, even for-"

Their sentence came to a halt as the lid came off and they saw what was inside.

Now their wasnt anything incredible inside, it wasnt like they had gotten a new iphone, but there was *many* things inside.

They looked up at the hero, mouth open slightly, not even attempting to hide their shock.

The hero just smiled.

Slowly, the villain began taking things out of the box. A book of puzzles, like crosswords and word searches, a small sketch book and a pack of markers to go with them. A small puzzle, showing the picture of a fox, which was the villains favourite animal. There was also a rubix cube that was already messed up, and a set of other small puzzles. At the bottom, there were two more boxes, one much bigger then the other.

The bigger box contained the Harry Potter book series. The second, contained a small device that looked like an airpod, along with earbuds.

It was fascinating for the hero to watch the villain open their gift. One would expect a villain to be clumsy, rushed, or aggressive, ripping into their present, but they were the opposite. They removed every item slowly, delicately, like it was a peice of glass that could break, examining it with the same gentleness before laying it down carefully beside them.

When they had opened the last item, they looked back up at the hero, completely flabbergasted, jaw on the floor and eyes wide.

The hero laughed quietly, "do you like it?"

"I..." the villain sat back onto their heels from where they were kneeling, looking over the items like they were unsure what to do now, "what..."

They blinked, gathering their thoughts, "how did you...? I mean what-"

They picked up the puzzle as they spoke.

"That's your favourite animal right? A fox? Now I wasnt sure what kind of fox but-"

"How?" The villain asked, almost breathlessly, looking back at the hero.

"How did I know that? You mentioned it, once. I was talking about being a cat or dog person, and you said youd always been a fox person, something about them being 'sly and underestimated, yet smart enough to know when to strike'" they recited, making quotations in the air.

The villains jaw hit the floor again.

"That was actually one of the first things you ever told me about yourself,"

"You bothered... to remeber that...?" they muttered under their breath.

"Yep. The rubix cube is because you bragged to me once you were good at puzzles and could do one, and I didn't believe you," the hero smirked, "still don't,"

The villain huffed a small laugh, before glancing over at the books.

"the puzzle book and sketch book are just something to do, I know markers arnt ideal, but obviously I wasnt allowed to give you any pencils or pens,"

The villain nodded in understanding.

"the books are because I was talking about game of thrones one day, and you said youd always preferred Harry Potter,"

The villain smiled, and shook their head at that, chuckling, "I've never actually read them, I just wanted to disagree with you," they joked.

They both laughed.

"What's this?" The villain asked, picking up the small device with the ear buds.

"Its a little mini portable radio. I didnt know what songs you liked, and obviously, I'm not allowed to give you anything with acsess to the internet, but at least now you can choose what station you want,"

The villain sat back again, looking over everything with the same stunned, almost lost expression.

"You... remebered all those little details... and here I thought I was doing a good job at not letting anything about myself slip..."

"Oh you have been, trying to figure out what to get you was near impossible, but I managed to remeber a couple little things youd mentioned,"

They picked up the rubix cube, playing with it aimlessly, "I... don't even know what to say..."

"Well, most people would say thankyou,"

The villain shook their head, "that dosent seem like enough. I... I cant even remeber the last time someone gave me a gift, nevermind one without strings attached, and esspecially nevermind one with actual thought put into it,"

"I get the feeling you need better friends," the hero joked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Yeah well, I guess I'm on the right track, I've already got one," they replied, but couldnt bring themselves to look at the hero while they did.

The hero in question was lit up like a christmas tree, heart swelling happily in their chest.

"I hate to cut this short, but don't have long today, I'm going to have to get going, I just wanted to make sure I got to swing by today," the hero said, looking at their watch.

"Oh! Yeah, of course, you -"

"Do not have 'more important' things to do, I simply have *other* things I need to do," the hero interrupted sternly, giving the villain, who blushed, a pointed look.

"yeah, that."

The villain stood up, standing awkwardly in the middle of all their gifts, watching the hero leave through the finger print locked cell door. They approached the switch to turn on the force field, when the villain stopped them.

"Oh, hey, wait!"

"What's up?" The hero asked.

Suddenly the villain tossed something through the bars with effortless perfect aim. The hero caught it, and this time it was their jaw that hit the floor.

It was a completed rubix cube.

They looked back at the villain in shock, who laughed, giving them a real, large, and although greatly amused, no less genuine smile. The first real, true smile they'd ever seen on the villain. They couldnt help but stare in awe for a moment.

"What..?" The villain asked after a moment.

The hero shook their head to snap them out of it, "sorry! It's just, that's the first time I think I've ever seen you actually smile,"

Instantly the smile vanished as the villain steeled their features, crossing their arms and shrugging, trying to ignore the blush on their face, "yeah well, that's cuz it dosent happen often, so,"

"I'm honored,"

"Shut up,"

The hero laughed, before looking at the cube in their hand again,"this is like, actually really impressive though, that was so fast!"

The villain shrugged again, "the 3 by 3 ones are easy, the 4 by 4 or 5 ones arnt that much more difficult, the 6 and 7 ones take me a while though, 8 is an actual challenge, and I dont think I've ever done above that before,"

The hero was still staring at them wide eyed.

The villain just chuckled and shrugged at them again, "I was an outcast kid, had alot of time on my hands. Anyway, get going,"

"Yeah, right," the hero replied, tossing the cube back before flicking on the force field. They began walking toward the door, before the villain spoke out to them one last time,

"By the way... thank you... really..."

The hero smiled, "your welcome," they replied, before disappearing out the door.

The next time they visited, they would make sure to bring a 9 by 9 rubix cube, and a fox calendar.

Third part

#heros and villains #heros #hero x villain #villains #snippet #writers on tumblr #writing

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you like the backstory for rick? Idk I kinda preferred it when Rick's past was a complete mystery and i dont really care about diane at all. I didn't expect the writers to actually write a canon for him either but I guess they realised how much the audience wanted one for him

Ajdjdjeidjs ack, I'll be honest I'm not... keen on it.

(Bolly-quinn actually puts it into words well how I feel about Rick's backstory here)

I liked the mystery element of his backstory! I know it's always exciting to have things in canon, but like... it being open to interpretation was something I always appreciated.

And... ugh, hoo boy. I'm torn. I mean, I love that Rick is completely different from what dudebros and like- "high iq" redditors present him as. He's a man who loved his wife and daughter, loved them so much he would rather give up travelling the multiverse, becoming a genius scientist, just to stay with them. He was vulnerable, soft, and caring. He wasn't nihilistic and reckless and selfish and some "alpha male who wouldn't let anything tie him down". He was ridiculously romantic, optimistic, sweet and loving, and maybe even kind.

And I don't give a shit.

I don't! I don't care. This might sound incredibly cruel and unfair, but I don't care that Rick lost his family.

Ok- let me explain.

I'm... disappointed. I'm disappointed that losing Beth and Diane is all it was that made Rick into the complete and utter monster he is today (or the start of the series anyway). I don't mean to undermine his loss and grief- at all! It's just... for him to go on a (seemingly decades long) killing spree, slaughtering any version of himself he seemed to come across... christ. Maybe in his eyes, they were all as bad as that One. Which is understandable. I'm very lucky to have not experienced that kind of loss. I haven't had to Grieve the way Rick did. Maybe I just don't get it, because I've never felt it. That's fair.

It just felt... god, I don't want to say excessive. I know, people process grief in different ways, and for some it manifests in unhealthy ways, some lash out at the world, fixate on trying to find an explanation, to find justice, etc. And I like how Rick was an absolute inconsolable wreck at first. Something like that, it needs time to process and overcome before you can start moving again.

I just- I don't know. Something rubbed me the wrong way about it all.

It's like- it's not that I wanted Rick to have spent all that time partying or something. It's just- argh, i don't know! Maybe someone else can put it into better words lol.

I hate that he immediately jumped into not giving a single shit about other people (save birdperson and squanchy!). Like- when he blew up those aliens who gave him whatever it was he needed. Ah- ok, they probably weren't exactly innocent or anything, but still. I think it was just I felt if we ever saw Rick's backstory, I'd want it to be a slow decline into who he is, show him gradually losing so much of his morality and becoming so jaded. Idk i guess i just wanted it to be like, a series of significant (and lesser but still important) events that lead to him going down that path rather than- this ONE thing that just apparently completely ruined him? And yeah ik ik it was a BIG thing, but like- i guess i was expecting.... more? Maybe something like idk Rick trying to save all the other Beths and Dianes and failing, idk, just... something more.

I actually would have preferred it if Diane lived. I dont know, I just- man I really hate the dead wife/daughter turns ordinary man into callous asshole trope. I agree, it's hard to really care all that much for Diane, and for a while I couldn't understand why. I thought, idk, is it internalised misogyny? Do I just not like Diane because I want to ship Rick with someone else?

I think I get it now. Diane, for all her significance in Rick's backstory, just... isn't a character. She's just- the motivation Rick needed to kick off the story. You could replace her with literally anybody else Rick could have loved and it wouldn't feel any different. She just doesn't feel special. She's no more unique than any other Dead Wife. We get nothing, literally nothing of her. I kept thinking, why? Why does this just not hit that hard? Rick's had emotional moments with Beth, with Birdperson, even with Summer and Jerry. And then I got it- it doesn't feel earned. It felt like how you feel when you see side characters or extras in the background of an action movie die. Maybe some faint sadness, but mainly nothing. We as an audience get nothing from Diane, we don't know her, don't get to see how she matters to Rick, don't get to see her relationship with Rick, we don't get any chance to connect with her character. So when she dies and Rick gets his montage of seeking revenge, it doesn't feel earned. It feels more like I'm being told about how this guy suffered than really seeing it (which i believe, may have been the writers intention actually...). It's kind of like a feeling of "damn that sucks bro... and?". There's no real heavy emotional response that I could really get from it...

I actually would have preferred if Rick and Diane broke up, divorced. I feel like that would offer so much more for them BOTH as chatacters. Instead of their relationship being happy and sunshine and rainbows until a Big Bad came in and took that away, I'd prefer it if Rick's downfall was just... his fault. (Actually His fault.) If his marriage fell apart because he couldn't make it work. If he estranged his daughter because he couldn't properly handle fatherhood, despite loving her. If he was flawed, terribly flawed, because of his own misjudgement and shortcomings. I guess my biggest problem, is that this is presented as someone having the perfect life, which is then taken away as a result of someone Else. It's too easy to then say, oh, it's not his fault he's like that! He had his heart broken, his life ruined! He lost himself in a revenge spree, poor thing... I'd have rathered if it was just a little bit more... realistic? If Rick had been the root cause of his own problems. If he'd experienced tragedy, but also been the cause of much more. I just wish there'd been more of a balance? It just felt so rushed. And not because of the montage- it just like Rick became completely apathetic way too fast. I just hate hate HATE the "he was a good guy with the perfect little life until tragedy struck and he was never the same". Rick never made the effort to improve his life, to do better, to be better. He's actively a cruel, callous, unkind person (complex, yes, but these are traits no one can deny he harbours). He's done far worse than was done to him, and that will never be justifiable to me... it just all feels so very cliche and out of place, and out of everything, this was the one thing I had hoped they wouldn't do.

I think the writers are aware of this, strangely enough. I mean, Rick even calls it his "crybaby backstory". I think they didn't want to leave it open any longer, and just got it out of the way. I don't think they really want to elaborate on it anymore. From what I predict, they want to focus on the here and now of Rick (and Morty, haha), and the development of who Rick is NOW, instead of who he WAS. I think they kind of just went, here's your gut-punch, your tragic backstory, now leave it alone. Diane is dead, Rick had a hard past, the series is about moving on and change. Now can we PLEASE get back to the sci-fi shenanigans?

(There was something I LOVED about the backstory though, and that was the soundtrack! Like the music for the Battle of Bloodridge, it fucking SLAPPPEDDDD. I can't imagine making synthwave emotional, but it actually kind of worked! The swell of the music actually did a lot more for getting a reaction out of me than the content lmaooo. It kind of reminded me of Kurzegast's "optimistic nihilism" for some reason... I actually liked the Bloodridge track so much, it got me a little into synthwave, which i never listened to before! The music producers this season have just KILLED IT!)

#citrus speaks #long #ajdjsjdhaj im sorry i just have so many Thoughts on this #as critical as it sounds i promise i dont hate it that much #rant #is this a rant? it sounds like one akdnaja #RaM #Rick and Morty spoilers #rick and morty #RaM S5 finale

[izzyliker]

Hey, asking you this as nicely as I can but can you give the immediate victim blaming a break. The absolute lack of respect you have for the people tmc abused is genuinely disheartening. Yes, he’s a shitty person, you’re entitled to hate him but immediately going “well you should’ve seen it coming earlier lol we’ve been saying this” is just ASTONISHINGLY shortsighted and cruel. Have your opinions about him and the situation all you want I would just ask that you please keep it to yourself due to the many many people he’s hurt that are still on here and can see you disparaging them.

ok, that is not what i have been saying. "well you should've known" is not an accurate summary of my feelings on this matter but apologies if thats how it came across. i have been in an abusive relationship where the person did a lot of the same things and i, too, defended that person without considering how it impacted other people. i almost lost my best friend because of how i acted as a result of keeping him in my life while people around me kept telling me to get tf out. i know.

what i am is im frustrated and annoyed by how long people were willing to publicly and passionately defend this guy while apparently fully aware what kind of shit he was doing to other people, many of which is detailed in the callout itself, and how this is now being framed as news. before the document itself was published all me (or anyone) had to go off of was vague posts that amounted to a "callout trailer" and almost all of the information on it was shit that was 100% completely public knowledge. 20+ people being aware of all that goddamn stuff and not one of them publicly stopping associating with him is frustrating. it comes across as spineless and yes, like one anon told GD, gaslighty (although i have my own issues with this being used on a large scale instead of in interpersonal relationships but i understand where they were coming from). his lesbophobia, transphobia (strange that none of the transphobia towards trans men was mentioned?), and panphobia/aphobia/biphobia were widely documented and seeing that on a callout post as if it were news was extremely tiring.

ive since read the callout. the interpersonal actions seem to have been horrible but sadly im not surprised (by which i dont mean "and neither should you" but rather. my spidey senses for this sort of behavior are pretty accurate most of the time and i did see this coming. this isnt me saying im Better than these people or that they shouldve as well but rather that i have learned to identify people of this genre.) by any of them.

also im 75% sure this is tumblr user GD. hello. if not then apologies, its just that the typing here is very similar. if it is, i think you trying to both take accountability for this and process whatever it is youre processing at the same time on tumblr is a bad idea and going to just lead to people feeling hurt and betrayed because while i truly do see where the reaction is coming from (like, truly, i understand, believe me), if you say "i take responsibility for how i acted while being manipulated" but then when people voice their negative feelings you tell them theyre victim blaming you it is going to reflect poorly on you. i dont think you understand how many people were absolutely hurt by the enabling you and your large, massively popular group of friends did for him, including the MASSIVE defense rant you typed up in defense of him when someone sent an ask to the bi jon event about him being panphobic and aphobic. whether its fair for people to expect you to immediately go into depth about it is questionable but dont invite people to do this when you obviously cannot handle it (i dont mean this in a bad way like "oh you should handle it". i mean genuinely this is how you get burnt out and possibly worsen possible future trauma. by trying to immediately placate people without having the mental resources to do so.)

i think the "we dont condone these views and never did!" without ever specifying what they were or doing any other work there is a lazy fucking cop-out. your circle was/is massively popular and a lot of people took all of you as authorities on stuff like headcanons and respectful portrayals of certain characters or identities to the point of accepting your meta as canon (something you havent really dissuaded ever), and associating publicly with someone who would constantly do this kind of shit and then defending him publicly while also positing yourself as an authority isnt something you can just "oops! we never agreed with him!" yourself out of. GD & TF specifically, you are massive blogs. you are babys first TMA blog. people in your askbox hurt and betrayed by this shit are not necessarily there to victim blame you. they are there because they trusted your word when they said "hey seraf reblogged anti pan and anti ace and weird transphobic posts" and you said "seraf is one of my dearest friends and would never do any of those things and im personally offended youd even imply that." i think you dont understand the real life consequences of the massively popular posts and sentiments he made & published and that you helped spread (despite apparently knowing that he was being a massive hypocrite and bigoted towards those groups or identities in his personal life). obviously interpersonal abuse/conflict is going to be "worse" but dear god i hope you collectively understand that "oh btw we never endorsed his views" is a massive copout and a shit apology for the hurt this association and endorsement caused. tmc has been terrorizing this fucking fandom for months with his bullshit and bigotry and you have not been passive bystandars but active enablers.

anyways, hope everyone involved gets to uh, heal i suppose, but i think expecting the people who seraf suicide baited, the groups of trans men he misgendered, the people who he targeted and harassed, the genuine fucking long lasting dysphoria he caused real people to have over his shitty takes re: transness and dysphoria, and the general shit behavior he was allowed to keep up with zero pushback from anyone in his circle of the fandom to drop all the anger or frustration they have for the people who enabled him and defended him aggressively is... unrealistic. and makes you look bad. especially when the doc doesnt even clarify which opinions you still support.

#disk horse #abuse ment #long post #also im ngl some of the shit in the doc rly didnt need to be there if it genuinely was just a warning or whatever #also from what my jewish friends have said the whole section about converts not being jewish seems recklessly irresponsible as a thing to #include with any amount of authority re: the status of converts #But whatever.

[kryptsune]

Dear UT Fandom...

🌼I am not one to ramble on this blog, however, there are just a few things that have been irking me lately. You don’t have to read this but if you do I hope you take something away from it at the very least. 

Here is the deal everyone. I love this fandom. I love it’s creators. The imagination and creativity is some of the best stuff I have ever seen out of fan work. As with any fanbase there will always be those toxic and unsavory people and I’ve noticed that lately that seems to be growing. No one sees this from me because I delete or ignore the hate sent my direction.  Some creators are super sweet, helpful, and encouraging. Others are rude, egotistical, and cruel. DONT BE  LIKE THEM. I’ve met my fair share. I won’t name people obviously because I am not going to stoop to their level. Remember that just because they are a good artist does not make them a good person. The truth always comes out eventually. 

I am here to tell you that the amount of hate I get is unprecedented. Not just eww you ‘ship this’ type but personal, mean, and harassing attacks. I try to be as up beat as possible on here because you all come here for some cute drawings for some good reading. What you don’t see are the sleepless nights, the crippling anxiety and depression. You honestly don’t need to. 

I work very hard on the content I produce because I LOVE IT. I wouldn’t invest so much time on all this if I didn’t want to do it. People taking the time to reblog, comment, and asks is more than I could ever hope for. 

So I want to say this. Do you remember when you first picked up the game? The feelings that UT gave you? To me it seems like so many have lost sight of what the core of the game is. I am not one to tout a games praises as nothing is perfect, however, it was not the game itself that resonated with me. It was the message. That you can do what you want. You can be a jerk but there is personal accountability and consequences to that.

UT is about who you meet and what you do. No one is perfect as we are all human but so many people especially online treat people like they aren’t. I call it one and done. You mess up then screw you. That is not what it should be. People make mistakes treat people like humans not some kind of punching bag. 

You also DONT know the people behind the screen. Why are you attacking people that you don’t even know? Would you go up to a stranger and do the same thing? I don’t think so. Where is your decency? What do you get out for being a complete asshole to others? 

I have had people sending me hurtful DMS, I have had them slander my character, I HAVE HAD THEM GO TO MY FRIENDS AND TRY TO CONVINCE THEM THAT THEY SHOULDN’T BE FRIENDS WITH ME. Are you kidding me?! They don’t know me. What gives them the right to do shit like that? 

On a note in a similar vein... artists are not here to make the art you want, writers are not here to write your stories. Stop giving them crap for not doing what you want. They take time out of their lives to create content at all. I have heard so many stories where people have been pushed away and stopped creating because of this behavior. 

Don’t like a ship? Fine. Be respectful and state that. Don’t be an asshole on how this person is x y and z and how they are the devil. I am so sick of that too. This fandom has pushed away some of my favorite content creators because they were complete assholes about it. Draw and like what you do but be respectful about it. 

We are all human, start treating people like it. Take what you remember from the game... the one we have come together to love... and apply it. Forgiveness is a big one but just being a decent human is not that hard. Think before you speak, think before you type and remember that your words might impact that person behind the screen. 

Rant done. 

#frisks rants #i am rambling again #rambling #look I am just tired of it #I cant hold my silence anymore #just #treat people like people

[brelione]

Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)

Warnings:Not proof read, swearing

Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.

Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.

You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.

You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.

 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.

Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.

That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.

But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.

JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.

The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.

Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.

The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.

 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.

Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.

 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.

You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 

“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 

“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 

“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.

He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.

“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.

 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.

 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.

You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.

You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.

You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.

You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.

You:????

Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?

You:Im not with Rafe

Kie:Seriously like are you ok

You:Im fine lol

Kie:But why are you with Rafe?

You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.

 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.

You:Can you keep a secret?

Kie:Yeah

You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?

Kie:You dumb idiot

Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?

Kie:Hoe you could do better

Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?

Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ

You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.

You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything

You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 

“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 

“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.

You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.

 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.

He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 

“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 

“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.

“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.

He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.

You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 

“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 

“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.

 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.

 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 

“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.

You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 

“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 

“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.

 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 

“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 

“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.

You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 

“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.

You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.

At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.

He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.

John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.

But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.

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