#i genuinely hate this life the only good things dont come from me they come from othr ppl n othr things i cant find happiness or love in mys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zeldasnotes · 3 months

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ᴬˢᵀᴿᴼ ᴼᴮˢᴱᴿⱽᴬᵀᴵᴼᴺˢ ³²

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Some of the most kind people Ive ever met had had Jupiter conjunct Moon/Venus. Pure, genuine kindness.

Fama(408) conjunct Uranus can indicate overnight fame. This aspect reminds me of the people who are recorded saying something really funny without realizing it and when they wake up in the morning and see the video went viral.

Venus 10th house is common in the charts of people who work with beauty procedures with a more permanent effect like microblading, cosmetic tattoos, laser hair removal etc. People with these placements often like to get these procedures done on themselves too. Since 10th house is ruled by saturn and saturn is time they want something that lasts instead of just going to a makeupartist.

If one of your parents have Venus in the 5th house you probably hot af.

Moon/Venus conjunct Chiron can mean constantly befriending or falling for the wrong women. They are drawn to people who need healing. But what they forget is that misery loves company.

Everytime I like an artist to the point of liking EVERY song they make we had Venus 8th house synastry. There is a deep understanding here when it comes to art.

Fama(408) conjunct Moon = Soccer mom image👩🏻‍🍼⚽️🧸

People with Ceres(1) conjunct personal planets tend to be well liked.

Venus/Saturn aspects might be hated on more by older people than people their own age. Older women might comment on their looks and older men notice them.

Everytime someone throws a fit in my comments its because I said something about their Moon aspect/sign. Which kinda proves what a sensitive planet the Moon is.

Moon can show where you spend so much time to the point of living there. I read about a person in true crime who lived in her car and she had Moon in the 3rd house, Ive seen Moon in the 6th house who are at work all the time, Ive seen Moon in the 11th housers who are always at their friends house.

Mars, Nessus or Lilith in the 11th house can be keyboard warriors. 🤬💻

Part of Fortune in the 5th house makes someone blessed with extraordinary creativity.

Ive seen people with Lilith Square Jupiter might have to suffer a lot because of rebelling against cultural/religious expectations.

Mars Square Uranus are the kind of people to EXPLODE with physical energy. This makes them excellent at martial arts since they move quick. Mike Tyson have Mars Square Uranus and Pluto.

Venus in Leo in the solar return chart can make you more interested in fashion & haircare that year. 💅

Transit Asteroid Destinn(6583) was conjunct my natal Venus and Transit Moon was in my natal 7th house the day I met the love of my life. Transit Juno(3) was conjunct my natal Juno.

Transit Dejanira(157) conjunct my natal Ascendant was hell. Ive never been victimized by others like I was during that year.

Women with Lilith and Pluto aspecting the Ascendant always look so good in bloodred or jetblack hair.

Moon in the 11th house might find a lot of comfort in social media. Social media can be their escape.

Juicy Couture just screams Taurus energy to me. The soft comfy but still so rich and pretty look to the clothes and bags is pure Taurus. (I cant be the only one who relate certain brands to a sign?)🛍️

Be careful with 2nd house synastry bc it can really make you want to buy someone stuff. I dont know if its house or planet who usually wants to buy bc Ive seen both ways around. Sure it can be a positive thing but not if one is a user and the other is naive. Can also make one expect stuff from the other. 💰

Me and my lilsister have 2nd house synastry but we would never use eachother we just love buying eachother stuff and discuss food and shopping together. For us the giving goes both ways. But Ive seen other situations where one just gave and gave without getting anything back.

Most Libra Venus men Ive met made a very big deal out of what their type is. The type to let eeeeverybody know about how they only date redheads. They can become VERY into what they find beautiful.

Venus says a lot about your behaviour bc Venus is what we find attractive and ofc we act as we want to be seen. Capricorn Venuses for example tend to act in a very mature and serious way. Their behaviour really screams ”take me seriously or live to regret it.”

People with Venus/Pluto tends to get a lot of unwanted suggestions on what to do with their looks.

Transit Asteroid Destinn(6583) was conjunct my natal Venus the day I met the love of my life. And transit Juno(3) was conjunct my natal Juno.

Plutonian Moons can always spot eachother. Same with Chiron 1st house and Lilith 11th house. Thats because these placements all bring experiences in someones youth that can be easily seen on the person later in life.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #birth chart readings #lilith #asteroids #ceres #fama asteroid

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princesssmars · 10 months

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unexpected

an ellabs x black!streamer!reader

some times your viewers expect you're in a relationship, and one time you spell it out clearly for them.

wc : 1.860

contains : reader is feminine ! the picture is more lightskin but all shades can read <333 ltlvc reference

a/n : coming up with chat usernames is so hard what the fawk??? but yeah while i ignore trolls the ones under these tags were pissing me off so i wrote this for my fellow black girlies <333 i hope u enjoy :)

lets get one thing out of the way, you loved being a streamer. now that you had a good following of a few thousand regular watchers, you were more than financially stable, got to do something you enjoyed as a job, and even made a few new streaming friends.

but when it came to those friends, every content creator knew simple friendships could stir up drama. you had heard of many cases of friendships being strained or ruined because of this job. more specifically because of the fans.

which is why you took an oath to leave finer details like relationships out of your work. if you did tell a story about that time you and your friends nearly got kicked out of a local mall's journey's, you would keep descriptions of friends brief and blank, even resorting to calling people "friend number one, friend number two..."

luckily most of your fans were more than understanding that you wanted to keep some of your life private.

most of them.

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case one : the first p.o. box

it was another po box opening stream you decided to start early in the day, wanting to show and appreciate chat with the things they got for you.

lululemonsz : babe i hope its a new keyboard urs is on a iv drip !

wariolover96 : open it open the box OPEN IT

shelovedantee : damn is there a bomb in it hurry up

you laughed looking at all the people in chat begging you to open the current package in your hand.

"everybody chill out. look, im gonna open the first one now."

you quickly got a pair of scissors to cut off the packing tape on both ends, hurrying to pull the cardboard from its place.

the chat started speeding up when your mouth fell open in shock, slowly reaching in and pulling out the keyboard. it was sleek, mechanical, and your favorite color.

biiiigpoo : omg isnt that thing like $250?

lululemonsz : this as the first gift is CRAZY

ilovestardewmc1237 : one of your viewers is in love with you

you couldn't even respond, turning the keyboard over and back again to admire the details of it. out of the corner of your eye you spot a little yellow sticky note at the bottom, bringing it up to read it without letting the camera see. once you got to the end, your eyes widened and you quickly moved on to the next gifts.

but the light reflecting from your window and monitor was enough for chat to see a few letters on the note. after that, your fandom quickly began talking of a person named "A" who had not only the money to get you crazy expensive keyboards, but was also able to fluster you with a small note.

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case two : the search history.

every so often, your mods would host little events on your stream. these could include giveaways, shitty chat therapy, and little games for everyone to play. today it was a challenege : the more bits people donated, the crazier stuff you had to do for them. it was all pretty tame, and the end goal was one you didnt think you'd manage to hit.

never doubt the power of charisma and a pretty face, because after only three hours you manged to reach that two thousand dollar mark, and chat was raving at what you'd have to reveal next : your search history.

ariagatorr : damn this lowkey invasive 💀

devonchcgo22 : and we dont give a fuck

plantsnparsnip : right open that shit up

"i hate yall, do you know that? like genuinely." you groaned, slowly movied your mouse to open your chrome history.

there wasn't much for chat to bully you about thankfully, just some light teasing about how much you use pinterest and asking what it was you bought on etsy. and just when you thought you were done, someone had to open their big damn mouth.

pian0picass0 : wait a minute why did you open ellies stream THREE times ????

chat started moving faster as they read the comment, everyone asking you to open the stream and show them what was going on. sucking your teeth and denying them as you had shown them what they wanted!

after quickly wrapping up the stream and giving your thanks and goodbyes, a portion of viewers went on a manhunt for any ellie who was streaming at the moment.

once clicking on the stream, they found it was just a casual stream with ellie. she was obviously pretty, but was super laid-back in her jeans and converse as she strummed some songs on her guitar.

"oh hey, welcome to the stream i guess. any requests? i was gonna practice some radiohead because my friend asked for it."

pian0picass0 : hey ellie! do you know who (y/u) is by any chance?

"'sup casso. uhhhh no i dont think i do. did she send yall over here? maybe ill check her channel out."

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case three : the enhanced dm's

"everybody shut the fuck up and lets start this stupid thing."

this was it, one of your biggest streams of the year. and also the most fun. and most aggravating.

the gist was simple. you and 5 other streamers were thrown into a discord call and whoever lasted the longest through the sleep deprivation and challenges won a heap of cash.

what the hell was it with you getting screwed over by challenges?

it didn't seem that bad. the host, a close friend of yours, told you to share your screen so everyone could decide something to tweet from your twitter.

now, your friends in the call didn't notice what was on your screen when you shared it, and if they did they didn't say anything. but never doubt the perseverance of your crazy ass viewers, because one took the liberty to see exactly what you were saying in that split second they could see your dm's, because they swore they knew that profile picture...

abby : don't worry you'll do fine

abby : you're not gonna get embarrassed by any of the challenges

abby : i hope

y/n : seriously

abby : come onn you know i'm rooting for you <3

y/n : aww thanks bee

abby : yup. for the whole event i'm gonna be your personal cheerleader ^3^

y/n : oooo you gonna put on a uniform for me?

abby : don't push it.

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case four : the voice chat slip up

at this point, there was no point in acting like you didn't know the two streamers.

the first was abby. mostly posted fitness, health, and lifestyle videos on youtube, but would occasionally go live on twitch to talk with her fans or stream herself working out at the gym.

(you may or may not have admitted live that you found her by watching a few of her workout streams. whoops.)

and then there was ellie, a gaming streamer who was known for being chill and quiet when playing music but as loud as a plane engine when playing cs:go. don't even get her started on cod.

but luckily you'd manage to convince her to play some games with you on your latest stream! some stardew, maybe some overcooked. even if she kept burning all of the damn food.

leave it to ellie williams to always surprise you, though.

when you hear the du-dum of the discord join noise, your face lights up and your mouth opens to greet ellie before she beats you to it.

"ok, babe, which game we playin first?"

to make a long story shot, your chat went ballistic and you gave a stern talking to the red head after the stream ended.

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case five : the instagram post

most of the time you leave most of your notifications off to avoid your phone sounding like a constant alarm. but you're guessing your recent endeavor of babysitting your cute but horrifically grabby nephew screwed you over, because before you know it the sound of dozens on instagram notifications are waking you up and pushing your bonnet from where it slipped down your eyes before unlocking your phone.

at first it seems like a normal picture abby posted, standing in front of a mirror in her living room , flexing her arm and covered in a thin sheen of sweat after an apparent workout session. ever the show off.

but when you zoomed into a blip of color in the background, your eyes almost pop out of your head when you see it.

its you and ellie, you sitting in her lap while she showed you some stupid meme on her phone she said reminded her of you.

the post was only thirty minutes old but already had a few thousand comments, the previes of 'OMG?????' and "no fucking way" giving you a hint to what people were thinking.

you turned off your phone, tossed it back on the nightstand and went back to sleep.

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case six : the joint stream

y/nsstan69 : not an unscheduled stream ??? is it judgement day ???

onlycuntz : "ft surprise guest" girl we aren't stupid

you had to hide the smile from appearing on your face as you read through the comments of your chat. you knew some of them were probably smart enough to know what was going on. the three of you hadn't really been discrete in the days following abby's slip up post, and viewers jumped at the chance to point you out in the background of some of her workout videos. and to point out how you were staring at her.

assholes.

so, here you sat in the comfort of your cute gaming chair ready to tell chat the big news with your special guest.

"so, i bet some of you are wondering why im streaming off schedule, but i had something big in my personal life that i wanted to tell you guys! in a few minutes my gest should be here..."

your voice trailed off as you kept your eye on chat, seeing a bunch of comments that you werent expecting from this big announcement.

motionpickers : lmaooooo are they serious

lululemonsz : she's gonna be so pissed

you begin to turn around in your chair when two pairs of lips press a kiss to each of your cheeks.

"you guys are so unserious."

"and you are so bad at hiding things." ellie pulls up and extra chair and rolls it up to yours so her knees touch yours. she tugs your hand into hers to sit on her lap, ignoring when you pinch her with your nails.

"ignore her. we could tell what you were doing and figured we should all do it together," abby is on your other side, resting her hip on the arm of your chair. "so, go ahead. it's pretty obvious already."

"wow, thanks for the support you guys."

"anytime, hun."

uhuhstasia : i literally cant tell whos luckier

niatargaryen : IS ANYBODY ELSE FREAKNG OUT

ilovestardewmc1237 : is it appropiate to say i called this

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #abby x reader x ellie #ellie x reader x abby #abby #ellie #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #tlou #tlou 2 #tlou x reader #fem reader #streamer reader

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spiderbussy · 11 months

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The Hating Game

Dylan O’Brien x Reader

WARNINGS: mentions of sex, steamy moments (but no smut), swearing, lots of anger/hatred, i think that’s all??

i wrote this a whole year ago and dug it up from deep in the drafts and it’s not entirely awful so i figured i might as well publish??? also edited whilst watching some killer shark movie LMFAOO so it might be a lot worse than i think jshsjs,, quick PSA tho: i dont rlly feel comfy writing for real people anymore, and i don’t like writing smut, so whilst this is relatively steamy there’s no actual smut in it :) hopefully someone enjoys lmfao

there is also a high likelihood that i will be deleting this soon bc i am Embarrassed

Being mortal fucking enemies with your co-worker is not exactly what you envisioned your first serious acting job to entail, but no one can have everything, you suppose. Like, it makes sense, from a realistic (OK, pessimistic) standpoint that getting hired to be a main character on a popular teen TV show with little to no acting experience and the only thing to your name being an apartment you’re about to get evicted out of for not paying your bills is exceedingly lucky. Like, come on, what are the fucking odds? And everyone knows that something so good is bound to be followed by something bad. In your case, something you consider the worst thing that could possibly happen to a person, and his name is Dylan O’Brien.

First off, you know. Dylan O’Brien. Every teenage girls wet dream. He’s a conventionally attractive white guy who respects women because he doesn’t actively spit on them! (You’re not saying he’s sexist, because you’re pretty sure that’s not why he hates you, it’s just because he’s tasteless and a dick.)

Here’s the thing, though. Ever since you started this job, he’s had it out for you. Like, genuinely, he’s fucking evil and is trying to ruin your life. Why is this? You have no clue, only that you hate him back equally as much, if not more.

What really sucks, though, is that this is the guy who’s playing your love interest. At first, this wasn’t even really a problem for you (only to your controlling ex-boyfriend — good fucking riddance, by the way), but it became one when you overheard Dylan actively begging the shows head writer and producer, Jeff, to cancel that plot and then storming off like a complete and utter wankstain when he was denied.

Your character's first kiss scene has had to be filmed at least a million times by now, and the crew is starting to really get pissed off by it, which, like, fair enough, you are too, but it’s not your fault you and Dylan can’t even pretend to be romantically interested in each other for five minutes! The scene itself isn’t even the problem, you’ve nailed that, it’s the kiss. The gentle, loving kiss your characters are supposed to share, and Jeff is an asshole and every time he’d yell at you and Dylan you’d both just get more and more pissed at each other, and the kiss would get progressively more and more heated and angry with every retake.

That’s where you’re at now, bordering on eating each other’s faces (excuse you while you yack!) as Jeff yells “cut!” for the fifty-millionth time. You and Dylan instantly spring apart, awkwardly avoiding eye contact as Jeff sighs. Using the back of your hand, you wipe your mouth, only to pull it back to find blood. Literal fucking blood.

“Did you bite me, you fucking pervert?” you whisper-yell at Dylan so that the crew aren’t prone to any more unprofessional behavior you exhibit. The stinging in your lip grows more profound, and you scoff. “Oh my fucking God, you bit me.”

Dylan smirks, shrugging his shoulders as he glares back at you tenfold. He’s oozing this nonchalant smugness, and you feel more pissed at him than ever.

“How the hell was that ‘gentle’ or ‘loving’!?” you continue quietly yelling at him as Jeff talks with the rest of the crew, his hands rubbing over the creases on his forehead.

Dylan’s smirk falls, as he glares at you with incredulity, “How was pulling my hair like, five minutes ago, any more ‘gentle’ or ‘loving’?!” he spits back.

Part of you wants to admit that that was genuinely an accident, but, like, whatever. Dylan would probably take it the wrong way, interpreting it as you being kinky and attracted to him. “OK,” you say instead, “act like you didn’t moan when I did that, you freak.”

“I moaned in pain,” he argues, eyebrows scrunched and a fire in his eyes as he unconsciously steps towards you.

You open your mouth, ready to retort with another remark with the intent to insult him, but Jeff’s voice quickly cuts the two of you off. “OK, guys, it’s been a long day but we’re gonna try it again,” he breathes out, rubbing his hands together before he suddenly stops, eyes narrowing in on your lip. “Jesus, OK, what the hell, your lip is bleeding Y/N.”

“Sorry about that,” Dylan smirks, poorly feigning being apologetic. And this guy’s supposed to be an actor, Jesus Christ.

“Right,” Jeff sighs, so obviously done with the both of you as you glare daggers at Dylan, which only seems to widen his smirk. “Um, OK, so this time… Dylan, try not to eat Y/N, OK? And, guys, try not to step on each other’s feet… or kick each other… the camera may not be able to see down there, but it shows, and we cab. Um, so, both of you…. just… gentle and loving, OK? This is supposed to be a sweet moment, your characters are comforting each other…. God, OK, let’s just try and get this over with.”

Admittingly, when Jeff speaks, you aren’t even really listening. You’re trying your best to hide the fact that you’re elbowing Dylan behind your back, and he’s aggressively standing on your toes. The both of you are glaring at each other from the corners of your eyes, paying Jeff little attention.

“And, reset!” Jeff calls, the both of you getting back into position. Dylan seemingly can’t help himself, though, because he steps on your heel as you walk away from him. Fucking asshole. You curse him out in your head as you try to hide your wince and sit on Stiles’ bed. He just always has to have the last word. It’s fucking childish.

You’re not paying attention as Jeff continues to call to the crew, ready for a retake. Instead, you’re glaring straight ahead, and Dylan is glaring back. The tension between the two of you dissipates quickly as Jeff yells “Action!” though, and you pretend to be upset as tears fill your eyes. You sniffle and Dylan walks over, slowly sinking himself down next to you. There’s a palpable distance between the two of you, one that’s closing slowly as Dylan, in character, awkwardly shuffles towards you, fidgeting all the while.

“What are you doing?” your character asks, looking at Dylan (Stiles) with soft, furrowed brows.

“Uhhh,” he stutters, “I just—trying to comfort you?”

“Oh,” your character says. “Right. I’m OK, though. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s alright.”

There’s silence for a moment, enough to be considered a moment too long, one that makes the air awkward. You aren’t looking at Jeff but you assume he’s relatively pleased, although this isn’t the part you and Dylan have been struggling with. It’s coming up, though.

Your breath audibly halters as Dylan’s tender fingers brush your hair out of your face, tucking it behind you ear. His character is closer than you thought, as you turn to face him. His fingers are lingering in your hair, coming to hesitantly cup the side of your face as you meet his gaze. There’s barely even three centimeters between your faces, and your character's eyes are flicking down to his lips constantly, as though she can’t help herself.

“Can I…” Dylan‘s charachter trails off, gulping. “Can I—is it alright if I kiss—?”

You cut him off, quickly leaning in to place a peck on his lips.

“…You,” he breathes out, his eyes widened as he looks thoroughly perplexed.

Your character bites her lip, looking down at her hands before shooting up. “Sorry. I’m—I probably shouldn’t have done that. Sorry. I’ll go.” As quickly as you stand up, though, Dylan grabs your hand.

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, and when you turn around to face him his hands are cupping your cheeks again and you’re kissing. It’s gentle and soft until his finger tugs a strand of your hair, and then all of a sudden your hands are in Dylan’s hair roaming through them and tugging and, next thing you know, you’re tonguing and Dylan’s hand is wrapped around your throat.

“OK, cut!” Jeff screeches, and the two of you practically scramble away from each other. “What the hell, guys? You were doing so well until then. I just… Let’s take another five, I guess. No, actually, screw it, we’ll pick this back up tomorrow.”

Jeff storms off, and not only are you pissed at Dylan now, you’re ashamed. The both of you have been acting unprofessional all day, just because Dylan is a fucking child. If he gets you fired… You’re gonna kill him. Fucking murder him. Shit on his mutilated corpse.

Glaring at him, you shove his side as you storm off to go back to your trailer and calm down. You need to sleep because tomorrow is an early shoot and it’s already late, and now you probably won’t be able to because you’re pissed and stressed and worried.

Unfortunately for you, there’s a pattern of thudding footsteps on the ground before Dylan catches up to you. “Jesus, can you slow down?” he rasps. “What the hell did I even do now?”

“Are you fucking serious, O’Brien?” you whirl around, only to be met with him much closer than you anticipated. “I could get fired ‘cause of your immature ass.”

“Oh, my immature ass?” he scoffs. “Do you even hear yourself?”

With a roll of your eyes, you turn around and continue on your merry way to your trailer. You want to get away from Dylan, desperately, before you end up punching him, but he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint and is hot on your heels.

“You’re the one always calling me a dick and shit, insulting me, starting stuff. I mean, I have bruises on my back from you elbowing me just a minute ago.” You’re at your trailer now, after blocking out Dylan’s ranting in your ear, but you only just open the door before he continues, “What, you mad ‘cause no one else ever dishes back what you put out? Sorry not everyone just accepts your word as gospel, princess.”

“First of all, fuck you,” you spit. You’re giving him the attention and reaction he wants, but you don’t even care. You’re that pissed off. “Second of all, me, the princess? Holy shit, O’Brien, you’re delusional. You had a go at me today because I ate the last mac ‘n cheese, even though your name wasn’t on it. You think everything belongs to you because everybody loves you. News flash, it doesn’t, and they don’t. They just suck up to you because you’re a rich white guy with an army of teenage girls behind you.”

“Sounds like you’re just jealous to me,” Dylan shrugs, trying to pretend he’s unaffected but the stiffness in his shoulders is entirely obvious. “I mean, come on, let’s be honest here, you’re used to getting everything, to being the favourite, but the moment someone else gets attention you go fucking haywire. Or maybe you’re just in love with me. You say you hate me but, come on, everyone knows there’s a thin line between love and hate.”

“Me? Love you?” You scoff, laughing aggressively. “Only one of us choked the other as they shoved their tongue down their throat today.”

“Choked you?” Dylan snorts. “You wish. I merely placed my hand in the wrong place. It was an accident, Y/L/N. You know, like you.”

“Oh, good one. You really got me there, Dyl.” The sarcasm is practically oozing out of your every pore at this point. “And your hand was around my neck. How do you accidentally do that?”

“I was aiming for your other cheek, but you were tugging on my hair so much I could barely fucking see,” he retorts.

“Oh, sure. You were aiming for my cheek and you just accidentally slipped your hand right like this,” you say, sliding your hand around Dylan’s throat to demonstrate, lightly pushing him against the wall.

“Yeah, maybe like how you accidentally kept going like this,” Dylan says, his eyes narrowed into slits as he stares straight into yours, his fingers sliding through your hair before gripping and yanking.

“I hate you,” you breathe, your gazes re-aligning. The distance between the two of you is minimal at this point, and there’s an angry hornets nest in your stomach that you blame on your insatiable anger and hatred of this man in front of you.

“Fight me,” he spits, eyes boring into yours and not breaking contact for even a second.

“Oh, you wanna fight?” You challenge, mocking him.

“Fuck you,” he spits again, violently frustrated.

“Oh, you wanna fuck?” You were supposed to say it with a laugh, but the distance between the two of you is so small, and your voice sounds so quiet, and his eyes are looking at yours like that, and it suddenly sounds so reasonable… The two of you are kissing, but it doesn’t feel like kissing. It feels like more. It doesn’t start gentle and slow, like the ones you were doing for the camera earlier, it starts violent and angry as you communicate every ounce of hatred from one body to another.

Dylan’s foot juts out, his hands sliding down your body as he kicks the door to the trailer shut. Immediately, you push him up against the closed door, hands sliding into his hair as his hands come up to cup your cheeks with vigor.

“I knew you were into that,” he groans, smirking.

“Shut the fuck up,” you retort, forcing his head back down to yours so your lips can re-meet. His laugh cuts off into a moan as you pull his hair, and he suddenly flips the two of you around, parting your legs with his foot as his hands cup your ass.

The next day, you drag yourself into hair and makeup, ashamed. You know Sam, your makeup artist, is gonna want to kill you for all the goddamn hickies on your neck. Honest to god, it looks like you’ve just crawled out a leech-infested lake.

“Jesus Christ, girl,” Sam gasps as you take your usual seat. “You get mauled or something?”

The woman lifts your hair as she peers at your marked-up neck, assessing the damage. She seems more amused than pissed off, thankfully, but it does nothing to quell your embarrassment. You just hope you didn’t mark Dylan up as much as he did you, or else someone might just put the pieces together. You do not want people thinking your standards are low enough to sleep with him—they might think you’re some sex-crazed satanist if they know you fucked the devil last night.

“Yeah, something like that,” you sigh, irritation lining your tone. It just so happens that, at that moment, the trailer door opens and in comes Dylan. Your eyes meet immediately, just as they always have done when the two of you have found yourselves in the same room. You glare, but you find it’s half-hearted and, unlike usual, he looks away and goes over to his own seat, seemingly searching for something.

Huh.

“You gotta tell me who did this to you,” Sam whistles, still in shock, apparently. “Slip ‘em my number, maybe.”

You can’t see Dylan entirely, his back half-turned to you, but you see the corner of his lips turn up as he tries to suppress a smirk.

“You know what they say about guys who put on a show,” you shrug, eyes narrowed in Dylan’s direction. He’s pretending to search for his phone still, but you saw him slip it into his pocket already. Nosey fucker. “It’s a little somethin’ called overcompensation.”

Sam lets out a loud cackle, turning to grab something out of her bag, and Dylan, done with pretending to look for his phone, whirls his head around to give you a subtle glare and a raised eyebrow, a smug look on his face like he knows you’re lying. (Which you, very begrudgingly, have to admit to yourself that you are.)

You hate Dylan. Despise him, even. More than you’ve ever hated anyone; you can rationalize why last night happened easily enough. The amount of hatred and tension and the pressure from Jeff to get that scene right all blew up. That much emotion had to be exhausted somewhere, and, well, it was. It was a blip in the timeline, some kind of glitch in the matrix, but it happened and there’s an easy explanation. What there’s not an easy explanation for, however, is why you liked it so much. Why you’re lying, trying to pretend it wasn’t nearly as good as it was, trying to pretend you’re not still thinking about how it felt to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him… There is no logical explanation for that.

In fact, it’s entirely illogical, the mushy way you feel inside when you met his eyes, covered with a glare that you wish had half the hate in it that it normally does. It’s weird and it’s wrong, because you’re not supposed to have butterflies when you think of the way his hand had caressed your face, the way he ran his fingers through your hair, the way his arms felt, wrapped around you. You’re supposed to be revolted.

He’s smug and he’s pompous and you cannot stand him, let alone stand the thought of kissing him. And yet, although you hate the fact that the thought exists, you yearn for it. You find yourself excited, even, to go to set and get yelled at by Jeff because you simply cannot help yourselves when it comes to one another. You hate it, every second of it, every second of him. You think you hate him so much you might actually love him. And with the wink he sends over his shoulder as he leaves the trailer, eyes dark as they peer at the hickies Sam is frantically trying to cover up, you think he does, too.

#dylan obrien #dylan obrien imagine #dylan obrien x reader #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien imagine #dylan o'brien x reader

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juyomiao · 8 months

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Only ONE - sung hanbin x gn!reader

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17 ☆ love bomb

< prev | masterlist

chapter warnings : boring , chae threatens hanbin's life at some point , ynbin being so sweet n healthy its sickening

☆ note: aaand with this very boring n underwhelming chapter , only one finally comes to an end (not all hope is lost , tho , as much as i hated writing it at times im so emotionally attached to this series i might consider a little epilogue/spin-off chapter) . AND i managed to squeeze in the haoyn beef explanation ?? tbh when i first posted it i kind of expected it to do fairly well (the boys planet smau writers demographic was like 10 ppl at best back then) but i did not expect it to do this well n singlehandedly gain me almost 500 followers . thats crazy insane bonkers . why am i getting kind of emotional writing this i dont think listening to light the way by cravity was a good idea . anyways , im sorry by the end of it i kind of lost the 'spark' that made this fic good - i couldn't even get to 20 chapters ffs - writing it was more of a chore than a fun little hobby for me n at times it made me genuinely anxious to the point of crying/getting nauseous . yes user li juyomiao is fucking insane but hey ! im alright now i promise ! jumping right into another series is probably not the smartest thing to do but im so excited abt it n i really really want to branch out into writing for other groups n the idea i had was so so good ,, i'll learn from my mistakes n write a few chapters in advance so i can take it easy n not pressure myself , tho :] thank u to everyone who supported only one until its very last chapter !! this authors note is long asf so if u read it all heres a dumpling for u my lovelies 🥟 thats it , li out‼️‼️ (im fr getting emotional good lord help me)

☆ SYNOPSIS: sung hanbin is everyone's dream guy: perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect personality, he has it all. he's even class AND student council president! everyone loves him, and you, as his vice-president, are no exception to that. having been in love with him since you were 12, you try to tone down your feelings "for the sake of professionalism" and claim it's simple admiration for someone who objectively has no flaws. but there is one small detail you missed, in all these years admiring him: he has an even bigger crush on you.

☆ TAGLIST: (italics = couldn't tag) @hananovi @soobeaniee @idkwatodoanymore @huipinkhair @homohoons @rikitachquita @lethalvenus @sunoksunny @tocupid @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @winteringdream @ikeryn @ilovechanhee @thesiriusmap @heelanat @baekstans @blaycke @vernonfernandez @8turning @yeolsbestie @asteroidchenle @hvnyujiq @hikyeom @r4innoms @enhypen-scholarship @sulkygyu @meowrinz @rikimylove @ridinhyuck @lumixen @neohyxn @ceanairy @beomibeom @cherriegyu @sunwcloud @k4hzuhas @annoyingbitch83 @stickersim @dreamyyn @anawesomeaquatic @softforjungwoo @utopiakys @247hrs @sunswoonie @minhui896 @chanhee-hee @nxurxn @peachysohn @kpoprhia @haesunflower

#☆ li writes #☆only one☆#boys planet x reader #boys planet scenarios #boys planet smau #boys planet fic #boys planet social media au #boys planet fluff #zb1 smau #zb1 fluff #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 #zerobaseone #boys planet #sung hanbin

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 7 months

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as someone who used to be huge bts fan and biased jimin and jk to now really only caring and being excited about jimin and his art feels so horrible to me tbh but i cant help it jungkook especially made me so dissapointed in this second chapter and i lost so much affection for him. i feel like he lost his appeal to me. Jimin however blew me away smf was just beyond amazing and then face and lc with all the art and heart in it ppl making all kinds of theories connecting him to poems, movies, queer ppl and writting essays about his work. I miss that i miss feeling of excitement and love like that with all 7 of them but jimin just seems to have stolen all my affection. i dont wanna be a solo stan tbh but i feel like i will never like bts as i used to.

Your line of thinking is so categorical, which is something very common when we're operating within a fandom. You mentioned lost affection, which indicates why you're feeling like this. It's the emotional involvement that makes us so involved and to feel so strongly about everything they do. And it can be something positive, like you said about Jimin, or something more negative, like your feelings towards Jungkook right now. I think it's easier for us to navigate these conversations once we acknowledge our position and we understand and admit were we're coming from. For example, I know that almost everything of Jimin's work is elevated and given extra importance in my mind because I like him. It doesn't mean that it's false or I made it all in my head, but if I only heard of him vaguely and looked through some of his work, I'd probably say at first "cool dude, he's interesting". And maybe if I was in the mood, I'd look it up more. It's the same as Jungkook fans now defending/celebrating every step of his career in Chapter 2 and they do that just like any other fan of an artist who is deep into a parasocial relationship. (Also, let's no hide or say only a category of fans are like that. Most of us are and we manifest in various ways).

If you want to label yourself as a solo stan, fine by me. Categories can make life easier, but they also limit not just us, but also those we are interested in or we don't really like. To me, this position is not one I would choose and I see the damage. Being so much involved in fandom, from the position of a solo stan, or a particular shipper/supporter or ot7/whatever else there is, can make us obtuse sometimes and more often than not, really mean in an environment in which online bullying is now acceptable. I see what JK solos say about Jimin and I see what Jimin solos say about Jungkook. It's horrible. Not only that, it's predictable because what they say is what is being transmitted throughout their own communities. It's like learning a script, especially when it comes to insults. And one has to be categorical and hateful. Not critical, because that would imply nuance and we know how no one cares about that.

I'm not enjoying the music Jungkook has been putting out in Chapter 2. I'm not enjoying how it's promoted. But to go from there and change my entire opinion seems too dramatic for me. He's not this horrible guy that he's being painted at. Just listen to him talk, watch his wlives. He's still a dork and he seems genuinely nice. I can live with all these thoughts in my head. Like I said, emotional involvement makes us go crazy, but in my case, previous experience with other creative people and celebrities is influencing the way I see things. I have favorite directors/actors that have some films that I consider really bad and so far from some of their earlier good stuff. But the world doesn't end there. It's ok. It's either a phase or they'll go down the hill, but there's still films that I like or I enjoy their way of looking at the world through their art. I like stuff from people I find displeasing, but I can put that aside and only look at the object.

It's the same with Jungkook for me. And if I don't like something, I will not waste my time trying to find excuses for it or defend it just because I like the person.

Just now I saw that clip of Bang PD talking about JK and it confirmed what others and I've been saying since Seven was released. This was Scooter's work, just as 3D and the other songs that will be released on the album. Jungkook in Chapter 2 musically and Golden are now the result of the partnership between Hybe and Hybe America. And it seems that the strategy is to focus on collabs to bring more attention to it, let Scooter gather all the songs and basically set the tone for everything and deliver a recipe for success. Do I wish Jungkook would let himself be convinced to put out a music album by other sort of people and not Bang & Scooter? Yes. But it was his decision and I can only look at the results and say that it's not for me. But I'm talking about it because I have an interest in Jungkook and because I have the right to say it, just like everyone on the internet.

I'm perfectly fine with all of these contradictions, while still expressing some of my frustrations. I won't expect from Jungkook something similar to what Jimin does because artistically they seem to not have that much in common right now, separately. It doesn't mean that I don't consider Jimin's work to have more artistic value. It has and it's something that I'm interested in and to which I pay attention to.

And sometimes, pop music is just pop music and we can simply enjoy it. Theoretically, that's Jungkook's path right now, but given how it came to fruition, the message it sends, knowing what Jungkook is capable of in terms of producing/writing lyrics, then it is disappointing to me. And so be it.

#m thoughts #jimin #jungkook #jikook

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nightswithkookmin · 1 year

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Hmmm. I don't know about that. I think even though they all started with concepts they discarded any company assigned roles for them some where along the line because it didn't suit them and they couldn't keep up with it.

With Vmin I used to think if those two weren't good friends they could be the biggest frenemies on earth and their dynamic would be predisposed to envy and jealousy, unnecessary competition and drama. We don't say this out loud but I think we all can sense it.

Deep down I think they both know this too.

I think it's why they put in so much effort internally and externally to prevent that from happening to them. You should watch a video of Taehyung crying on stage and pouring out his heart because Jimin was there for him in one of the most difficult moments of his life when his grandma passed.

If that confession was staged and faked i'm sorry he is going straight to the pits of hell. And I don't know the metrics for determining the authenticity of their friendship but to me the mere fact that Tae goes to Jimin for emotional support at his lowest and is willing to share his vulnerability with Jimin when he's scared of ghosts in the middle of the night or ask of him the first thing in the morning when he wakes up in soop is a sign of lowered emotional boundaries on his part and you dont lower your walls unless you feel safe to do so around someone- give him an Oscar he certainly fooled me had me believing he liked him so much he might have developed actual gay feelings for him somewhere along the line. Best actor award for him them. Shooketh to my core.

People wanna hype Tae Kook and Taejin but I'm sorry this man will run to Jimin in a heart beat when he needs tender loving and care. Tae kook who. You think JK will sit on a couch and let Tae sob into his laps while he caresses his hair?

Now who's delulu.

Other than that one moment of him on stage burying Tae's face into his chest, show me a compilation of him comforting Tae. I'll wait.

He will rub his back with a broomstick sure

However Tae wouldn't hesitate to be JK's emotional support- IF ONLY JK GOES TO HIM FOR IT💀

Like Jimin and Jhope, Tae is actually very warm at his core.

If you want people JM allows himself to be vulnerable with V is on top of the list, followed by Hobi and V. It all depends on who you think he spends most of his time around and since he used to spend a lot of time around Jungkook we have a tendency to place Kook on top of his list simply because they have more vulnerable moments together. But there are certain things he shares with Tae and even Hobi that he doesn't share with Jungkook first.

And sometimes Jungkook is not the one he reaches out to first when he needs emotional support. And I reckon he has other friends he keeps private and we don't know what he does with those. Similarly Tae has other friends and isn't really private about those friendships like Jimin.

All that comes to play and at the end of the day whether or not you think their friendship is genuine depends on your definition of friendship.

From personal experience, I had friends whom I loved dearly and deeply and to some extent I still do but want nothing to do with them. In fact, I will fly to Mars on a strawmat just to get away from them. Because while I was busy loving them from my heart they let envy and jealousy sip in and I didn't realize till they did the most damage to me.

These days I tell the few friends I have, let's talk about it. It's okay if you're Jealous of me. I won't hate you for it. It's okay if I feel envious of you too just as long as we are not acting on these feelings and we talk about it and not let it push us to sabotage eachother and hurt each other. Jealousy and envy are human weaknesses. It's usually a sign we've been victims of injustices and unfair treatments on cosmic levels. Life isn't fair and some of us will be dealt the short end of the stick. As long as those with the longer sticks are compassionate and not condescending we can all learn to heal.

I feel that's what people don't understand about BTS or even about Vmin. It's not as if they don't know all these things, it's not as if they don't see some are loved more by fans or the company or that some are blessed or that some are slacking- they deal with it.

They help each other deal with it. And that is the strength of Vmin.

You don't think it's ironical Vmin have a vmin letter and years later Jikook develop a letter too mirroring the concept of vmin's letters?

I don't know.

May be I'm just too optimistic and a bit naive I must say and yall see something I don't see. But to me it's not about the ghettoness between them, it's about the way they process these negative feelings and deal with them when they arise.

Someone mentioned Tae complaining about JM stealing the spotlight, but what did JM say right after? He said to Tae you could have come to me to talk to me about this. Look how nurturing that is. He says he values communication and as a Libra myself I can't stress how much important I feel communication is.

I don't know. I love their dynamic. I think their relationship isn't all rainbows and sunshine but a lot of work has gone into it. And there is still more room for improvement. They've come this far so why not see it through to the end.

They should keep being mindful and intentional about their relationship. It's THEE VMIN. Things will work out.

I trust you Tae. Please come through 😭

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robyn-goodfellowe · 1 month

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Hi uhh idk how to say it but any tips on writing in general? I really wanna write my story I have stored in my doc but I don’t know where to start.

hello!! i am very honored that you came to ME to ask because i love to talk about writing, so thank you :) with that being said this might get a little long so ill put everything under a readmore, but all of my advice can be summarized like this

tl;dr: just start!!!

i KNOW. in my soul. that there's genuinely nothing more every aspiring writer hates to hear than "just start" lol but it really does come down to that. just start. whatever you put on the page doesnt have to be PERFECT, it just has to be there. my first drafts for anything are never solid. my initial drafts are NEVER the quality of the final

and its through careful, consistent rewriting that it becomes something more palatable and fun/easy to read. what ive noticed a lot of new writers do (and i used to be very prone to this as well) is that they go into their drafts expecting to drop their final product there, and aim for perfection. i cannot stress enough that perfection is THE ENEMY in literature. you can rewrite things thousands of times for it to turn out imperfect in the end, and thats OKAY. you'll end up with a draft you like eventually, but don't expect yourself to find it right away. it takes me a lot of consistent writing sessions to have a paragraph that im satisfied with. itll come to you naturally

but the best advice i can offer is really just ... START. open google docs and just write down your thought process, whatever that looks like for you. maybe its the summarisation of a few scenes you like, maybe its a chunk of an out of context paragraph. whatevers in your head, put it on paper and see where you can go from there. thats really the only way you can start

outside of that some of my big things are being consistent and READING. i write for at minimum half an hour every day (not always fic lol! i am a creative writing major, am working on my manuscript and also trying to get published in some small-scale literary magazines and sites. so im always working on something, basically) and its probably the only thing in my life i am super consistent about. maintaining a habit and making yourself write even when you dont "feel like it" or cant find motivation is the best way to keep writing long term. and reading, well, how i like to put it to my friends is that creativity is like a well. you cant keep drawing from it without filling it up eventually. you need good writing and good words to inspire you so you can keep drawing from your creative well. when im not writing im reading and you should be too. you really cant have one habit without the other

are really immersing myself in the world that i've created for my silly little guys. i am, at all times of the day, immersed into my stories one way or another. im almost constantly curating pinterest boards, or making playlists, or sharing it with my friends (the last one is highly important. the best way to stay encouraged is to have someone to share with) and so theres not really a day when im not thinking about what i want to write to some extent

but yeah basically thats all of the advice i can offer. write, write, write and don't be afraid for it to be not perfect. nobody is perfect, you are human. so just have fun with it

hope this can help ssomewhat! :)

#answered #writing #tql spoilers #<- used a scene from it as an example!#im not a professional though (YET) so please take all of my advice with a grain of salt #use what works and ignore the rest #also that doodle is very old but i think its still fitting

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apollos-olives · 4 months

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hii if you dont mind and it's not too personal i would love to hear more about your experiences being queer in palestine! do you feel there is a big difference in attitude and education about queerness between diaspora palestinians and those living in palestine, or is it pretty similar? and did you feel like you could be somewhat safely open about it (not that it's ever 100% safe in any place in the world, but yk) sorry if this is invasive, dont feel obligated to answer. it's just that ive only ever seen a rly negative narrative about queer people being heavily persecuted and id love to get viewpoints from people who have actual first hand experience. your blog has been really educational and i love your enthusiasm for palestinian culture <3

i'm so sorry but i'm not very comfortable sharing my own personal experiences. they relate a lot to my personal life and my family and our relationships, and i'm not really comfortable sharing that part of my life online. it's a very good question though, and i appreciate your curiosity. i'm sorry that i can't tell you anything specific, i just want to keep myself more protected and not share a lot about my relationship with my family, especially since my relationship with my queerness relates a lot to my family and their views of it.

i will say though, to answer your other questions, if you asked me if there was a big difference of queer education between the diaspora and the people in palestine a couple years ago, i would've said yes. but now that i think of it? there's not a huge difference actually. i feel like since there is a lot more access to the internet and more education available in palestine and in a lot of places around the world, being educated about queerness is becoming more and more common. i've met a LOT of queer palestinians, from both inside palestine and also out in the diaspora. education is one of our biggest tools for liberation, so i feel like it's very natural that you can find more palestinians that are queer, not just in the disapora but in palestine as well.

if i were to choose which group is more visibly queer, people in palestine or the diaspora, i would choose the diaspora, but only because the diaspora have a bigger chance to be exposed to queerness in the world outside of the middle east and whatnot, and have bigger chances to explore their sexuality more openly than people in palestine. that doesn't mean that the queers in palestine are SUPER repressed or anything, but yes homophobia exists in palestine just like how it exists everywhere else in the world, so queers in palestine have a harder time coming out or expressing themselves authentically. but like. palestinian queers exist 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ everywhere. and like, if i go out in palestine wearing a whole ass rainbow flag with a full face of makeup and a gay ass haircut, will i be hatecrimed?? yeah. but also if i did that in america, i'd be hatecrimed too lol. so palestine isn't special with it's homophobia.

and to bring up the discussion of homonationalism that israel uses to gain consent for genocide, you gotta put things in perspective. like if my entire family got bombed, my people displaced, my limbs amputated, all my people being starved, and the bitches who were bombing me were proudly wearing a gay flag and said that they were using the bombs that killed my entire family "in the name of love" - honestly i would be homophobic too. and that's genuinely why homophobia mostly exists in palestine. that's why my parents are homophobic even- they say that israel is full of queers who are bombing us. and like... are they wrong though?? israel is using the gay community as an excuse to commit crimes against my people. if any sort of group of people, no matter if they were a minority, committed genocide against you, wouldn't you hate them too? that's basically the situation in palestine. and yes it's not justified to be homophobic, but again, queer education isn't as available in palestine as it is in other places. often times people don't realize that queerness is being used as a weapon. you gotta put everything in perspective, yk??

i hope this was interesting to you at least a little bit. sorry i couldn't answer every question fully.

#palestine #free palestine

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cowboy-robooty · 9 months

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no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^

but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"

#robooty kun #sorry not abt my life but this is robootys fucking essay #itager #i looooveee this shit okay dey make me crazy

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deathzgf · 6 months

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( almost ) ALL MY AMREV + FREV WIPS ( 12 october - 5 november 2023 ) ! ! ! ! !

WARNING : long ass post jFDSFLKJSLF ( will all be under the cut )

NOTE : not everything is here ! a lot of my amrev + frev drawings are doodles ive done in class ( which i cant find ) + i Do Not Like a lot of them + Tumblr only allows so many images T___T

ah yes . . . the doodle that started it all . . . my good omens sona in the french revolution ! except i had no idea what i was doing at ALL and had no historical context ! which i now do have and it makes me ENRAGED for how good omens handled that era . . . why are they in the bastille in 1793 . . . ANYWAYS ! YEAH !

aaand because of that doodle , i researched frev fashion ! and guess what ! that robespierre fashion video came up ! wooo robespierre ! and then this was the first fucking thing i drew of him i cant . I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE FUCK HE MISSED SO BAD + HOW THE BULLET WOULD LOOK

BECAUSE after that i drew this ! pookie ! ! !

first saint just drawing . i was listening to angel with a shotgun on loop . . . and i thought . . . angel with a guillotine . . . get it cuz hes . hes angel of the terror . and . and . a

i dont have any explanation for this

i hate this . but first robespierre AND saint just drawing wahoo

first frev oc except the hair on that one drawing is red because i went back and changed it cuz i made their name Jules Le Roux and . You know . Red hair . yeah

jules and calixte ! ! ! calixte is @toastytrusty ' s oc and my sweet sweet little baby i love them dearly

. . . saint just doodle i forgor to come back to

JULES AND CALIXTE LORE

miku binder robespierre

saint just painting robespierres nails because :3

WE INTO THE AMREV NOW WOOO . anyways me when ive married and icarus and hes flown too close to the sun lol ( his wings are meant to be burning letters btw . yeah )

jules , calixte , and leonard interaction ! ! ! ! !

which didnt go well

this turned out gayer than intended i genuinely dont know what happened here

i wanted to continue this so bad but i fucking forgot about it but Uhhh uhhhhh uhhh

you know those vamp ! robespierre and vamp hunter ! saint just aus ? yeah

PLEASE STOP SAYING IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK IVE NEVER DRAWN A VIOLIN BEFORE PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE . anyways he playsss theee violinnn he tucks it right underr hisss chinnnnn

winning the idgaf war . unbothered . living his best life

theres a storytime for this drawing but ill save that for later . john adams ( 2008 ) scene redraw but instead of jefferson grabbing adams elbow its his waist except it looks awful and i need to redo it soo baddd

vamp ! robespierre and saint just ( ? ? ? i guess vamp hunter ! saint just cuz thats usually what goes with vamp ! robespierre but idk man ) . they were meant to be on like some moonlit picnic or some shit but then class ended and i forgor about this

donald trump , alexander hamilton , and thomas jefferson . need i say more ?

the ORIGINAL toxic doomed yaoi ( hamburr )

burr . boobies :3

that one scene from saint just et la forces des choses BUT AGAIN this turned out gayer than intended . why do they keep doing this

hey girl i think theres something wrong with your leg

semi modern band ! gay trio . . . thing . . . ? girl idk . but i gave up

making jules a proper ref ! who cheered !

AAAND THATS IT !

let me know if . you want me to finish any of these because otherwise theyre probably going to rot in my gallery HELP

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ship-discourse-confessions · 3 months

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genuinely have to wonder what these people who are so staunchly anti non-offending paraphiles want to happen to said paraphiles. like... what, do you want them to be killed for their thoughts they cant control? you think they deserve to die because theyre mentally ill? do people with homocidal intrusive thoughts deserve to die too, for an act they have not and likely will never commit? i hate to break it to you, but paraphilias are way more common than you think, and the people who have them are humans just like you. some of them seemingly come from nowhere, but a lot of them stem from trauma, which yall dont like to think about because it reminds you that if things just went a little differently, you couldve ended up like the inhuman, irredeemable monsters you advocate for the murder of. either way, its literally not something that the paraphile can control. fundamentally its unlikely any of them will ever be able to shirk their attractions. they can, however, just like you, control their actions. they are people with mental illnesses so stigmatized that its socially acceptable to publicly call for their slaughter. if you fancy yourself someone who thinks that people can be reformed and rehabilitated, someone who identifies as a prison abolishionist or an anarchist, you cannot also advocate for the involuntary killing of people with mental disorders. and you cannot perpetuate this culture of shame and fear and hostility, because all it does is push paraphiles who desperately need help further into isolation, away from the help that they need, and closer to actually offending. if someone is outed as a paraphile, their entire life is ruined. all of their connections are severed. theyre met with constant active hostility for something they never asked for and something they cannot control. so why, then, would a paraphile ever feel comfortable asking for help? how could they ever feel like they can reach out to a professional or even just to their friends and family when the risk is so high? when theyre told that theyre going to hurt people no matter what anyway?

full disclosure, im a paraphile. i wont specify anything beyond that. but for the longest time i really did feel like an irredeemable monster who was doomed to hurt others, that it was only a matter of time. that mindset, unsurprisingly, is not very conducive to recovery. it was only when i found other paraphiles online, learned i wasnt alone, that i didnt have to feel like the only option was death, that i finally felt like i could take control of myself. the isolation was the biggest hindrance to that. feeling like i was entirely alone in the world aside from people who had committed heinous acts, because the paraphiles who havent obviously cant talk about it. except they do, in small corners of the internet, where they still face incredible harassment and shame. still, knowing i was in the company of good people and knowing that my attraction wasnt some conscious choice on my part that made me into an inherent monster helped majorly. i didnt choose to grow up in the environment that i did. i didnt choose what i was exposed to as a kid. i didnt choose how any of that would affect me. i didnt choose to be a paraphile. but i am choosing to be a good person despite it, and im choosing to let other paraphiles know that they can do the same. i know there are some reading this. youre not alone, you can get help, and you can choose to be a fantastic person. youre not doomed. you dont have to die to keep others safe.

to summarize: paraphiles are human beings with mental illnesses just like many of you. and just like you, they need help and support, but its incredibly difficult to get that when the public opinion on them is generally "you deserve to die no matter what." we are incredibly common. you probably know a paraphile. and if that deeply upsets you on a moral level, i hope you know thats the reason why paraphiles hide it and just get worse and worse.

paraphiles are always going to be here no matter how hard you wish they were all dead. thats just a fact. so you can keep making graphic threats against mentally ill people, literally only causing further harm to them and to others, or you can show compassion and a genuine desire to see things get better by at the very least not perpetuating obvious anti-recovery, pro capital punishment, pro thought crime propaganda.

#shipping discourse

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cassyapper · 10 days

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i am so curious about your pucci thoughts...

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS ASK OH MY FUCKING GOD my life has been crazy lately but still i am So Sorry

okay so basically i love pucci we have to kill him. here is a list of my thoughts in no particular order

he makes me so ill like genuinely he is one of the most well written jojo characters ever and DEFINITELY the most well written villain. like holy shit. i think a lot about how weather said the evilest of people are those who think they are good and how that relates to pucci oh my GOD it makes me sick. pucci like many villains are a "ends justify the means" kinda guy like while he was cruel at many points i truly think he was jsut like, yes this is a moment of weakness but it wont matter because im going to fix it. i think aobut how he really thought he was going to save everyone. he was going to save perla. he was going to save dio. he was going to save himself. and thinking baout things from his side, like, oh my god. dio was his only friend. we the audience know that dio groomed him (not necessarily sexually but still grooming) and even though dio did seem to grow to truly care for pucci, he didnt care enough to not use him for his plan to restart the world -- but PUCCI didnt know that. im sure he had inklings and feelings like he's not NAIVE, im sure he KNEW dio was using him at SOME point, but it wouldnt change the fact dio still eventually saw him and was his friend either way. it wouldnt change the fact that he would do this one thing for his only friend, even if his only friend BECAME his friend in the first place just to make him fulfill this task. god dio and pucci's relationship is so insane i hate hate hate that people boil it down to just shipping LIKE THERE WAS RESENTMENT THERE WAS ANGER THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE AND HALF OF IT WAS LOVE FOR WHAT THE OTHER COULD DO FOR HIM INSTEAD OF JUST HIM HIMSELF . LIKE FUCK'S SAKE im sick of ppl putting a romantic spin on everything and YES this is half me being aromatnic but also COME ON. and that's not even getting into the fact dio and pucci's relationship is supposed to parallel jolyne and jotaro's/jolyne and jonathan's. but anyway

god he loved his sister so much man it makes me sick he jsut wanted her safe man. after everything....i choose to believe his final thoughts were of perla. it's why he was begging for everything he did to have meant SOMETHING -- please let if have meant perla got a good life in whatever universe the world will end up in. i like to believe she did. he won't be there to see it. oh god he wont be there ot see it. fuck. maybe that was for the best in his mind anyway

his drama and tragedy aside he's also the funniest guy in the entire world. why the hell is a catholic priest wearing gucci. well i guess that answers the question but still. he is so fucking funny he is not even subtle about it he is LITERALLY like EOUGH DONT TOUCH MY EXPENSIVE DESIGNER PANTS and then he kicks a cop to his death for it. he's so fucking funny i love him so much. i love that whitesnake is independent enough to have its own personality and he and pucci get into spats sometimes OS FUCKING FUNNY. MFW I ARGUE WITH MY OWN SOUL.

also my disdain for shipping culture aside i cannot deny that pucci is a homophobic homosexual. he and jotaro totally banged a couple times and awkwardly called it off when pucci first sees jotaro's birthmark and he's like oh no. SO FUCKING FUNNY

ugh sorry i jsut want to go back to this point he's so smart he's so Aware of how people work and connect he's always had a fine sense for it (do you believe in gravity...) OUGH like there's no WAY HE DIDN'T KNOW DIO WAS USING HIM BUT HE STILL LOVED DIO AND I THINK BEYOND THAT. I THINK HE TRUY BELIEVED WHAT DIO WAS SAYING. I THINK HE TRULY BELIEVED OKAY EVEN IF DIO HAS HIS OWN MOTIVES HERE, THIS END IS JSUT. SO I WILL KEEP FOLLWOING ALONG. LIKE. I. i truly think he thought this would save everyone, especially perla. ohuogh my god PUCCIIIIIIIIIIIII

in short, he makes me sick we have to kill him. i like him a lot

#cass cries

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parasitoidism · 24 days

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sending you walter after u sent me jonathan #dialectics

waoh its like cause like law and chaos are the same woawwwwwwwww

favorite thing about them

I do really like that he's such a little asshole sometimes like he just talks shit about people and demons right in front of them its really funny LOL but aside from that I just really like how .. clear his line of thinking is? Like it just makes so much fucking sense exactly how his life experiences and the structure of mikado's society led him from point a to point b in the course of the story because its like soooo fucked up. And it's just like this thing with him and jonathan where it's like he IS being manipulated and the .. conclusion he reaches is really not sound but the way Jonathan just can't understand that he's not just being corrupted by a demon and actually has reasons for feeling the way he does which like in turn drives them apart even more is like ooh its so good

least favorite thing about them

Oh walter i understand where your feelings are coming from but trying to create a world where the strongest survive isn't very based of you

favorite line

I have been thinking about the way he brings up Issachar to Flynn a lot recently and I think it's like... It is ultimately manipulative right. Like he is at the end of the day bringing up Flynn's dead friend whenever he's trying to get Flynn on his side like yeah he's using that tragedy to appeal to his emotions and especially in the YPR scene he's just flat out saying "If my worldview is fulfilled, what happened to Issachar will never happen to anyone else". But I don't think it's just like "Oh I'm just going to say whatever I have to in order to get this guy on my side" I think he really does believe it like he always has this sense of camaraderie with Flynn because they're both casualries throughout the whole game and I think he probably saw himself in Issachar in his last moments which is why this one at shen duque has been sticking with me because he's directly repeating Issachar's last words about "changing this rotten world". Like I think that did genuinely affect him and him invoking Issachar and his fate the way he does is his way of being like, his way of trying to get Flynn to understand what he believes to be true, that his world will never result in that kind of injustice again. IN MY CUTE LITTLE OPINION AS THEY SAY

brOTP

I THINK HE AND ISABEAU SHOULD HANG OUT MORE for the parallels bro the parallels does anyone else see the parallels Walter and Isabeau both have the thing of like being raised with a singular expectation for what the rest of their lives will look like (fisher for walter monk/monastery work for isabeau) and then being chosen as samurai instead like I think IDK i just think. i think about things sometimes.

OTP

Jonathan and Walter are really good like notice how although they do get along with and respect each other they can never fundamentally understand each other. notice how it was always fated to end before it could even begin

nOTP

uhhh Idk. I can't really think of any ships that I hate in smtiv because nobody really gives af about this game like that it's just me and my mind palace and like a few other people's mind palaces

random headcanon

Second oldest child with an older sister and 2 younger brothers idk when this popped into my head but it just did one day and now it's just like. i believe it.

unpopular opinion

People focus on the Hoy thing but that's just like a way that all the casualries talk in this game like Hope also says it a lot but I think the funniest thing about the way he talks is that he says shit like HELLS BELLS all the time like he's an old woman

song i associate with them

I DONT HAAVE ONE again like theres only a few characters I have Songs For

favorite picture of them

I only read like 2 chapters of it but the artist of demonic gene draws him very cutely

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femaletwstsupremacy · 9 months

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i have just a little request if you dont mind, we have fem idia enjoyer of woman and yuri manga (the cutesy slice of life ones like failed princess, monolouge woven for you, whisper me a love song ((just somethin sweet ya know)) and idia is hopelessly pining for the main girl type, ortho being the best little sister invites us over and idk just a little idea 4 u

"𝙈𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝘼𝙪𝙧𝙖!"

✦ Content – Idia being a simp, Ortho being a sweetheart, kinda did a reverse isekai plot here, Idia is Shen Yuan (From Scum Villain) coded, reader came from a world where technology isn't all that advanced, Reader has a personality, reader is gn but reader being feminine was in mind while writing.

Author's Note: Waaa, I had so much fun playing with this idea anon. Thank you for sending this in! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ It's not exactly like the request so I apologize for that. But! I absolutely support Fem!Idia yuri enjoyer, I am one as well after all (With a side of bl fan in there but shhhh)

Idia was many things, a loner, a genius with wasted talent, a weirdo, a curse. But she could care less about those, what do they know about her anyway? It's not like half of those people who talked behind her back actually talked to her. But if there was one thing she could proudly call herself, it would be that she's an avid yuri fan. Slice of life? Fantasy? Mystery? Yandere? She'll read it as long as it's yuri! (And if it has at least a decent plot, otherwise she'd either simply throw it out or start hating in the reviews if she absolutely despised it.)

The lighthearted and giddy feeling she gets in her chest every time she reads is something she just can't get enough of. But once she finishes the absolute masterpieces of the genre, she only has the leftover scraps left to read. Some of them aren't that bad, she could bear reading through with it and some of them even got her hooked. But some others were absolute trash. With nothing but fetishization and not even a pinch of genuine affection between the main couple.

By that time Idia almost debated leaving the genre altogether but decided to just wait. Wait for something good to actually come by, wait for an astounding masterpiece that could even make her slack jawed, wait for some of her few favorites to update, and so she did.

She waited, and waited, and waited. Until finally, a new manga had just released, taking the whole genre by storm. And as a connoisseur of yuri manga, how could she pass up this opportunity? Especially when she'd been waiting for so long. Besides, most of the reviews are fairly positive and by first impression it doesn't seem like some trashy manga that uses all the clichés and most popular tropes of the book. Unlike some that Idia had read. So she trusts that it will be a worthwhile read.

And worthwhile it was, Idia was absolutely hooked. It wouldn't be an understatement to say that this was a masterpiece. The plot? The setting? The tropes? and most importantly, the characters. (Did she mention the characters yet?) were all meticulously woven together into the perfect web to catch any unsuspecting readers into it's trap. Idia is no exception. But seriously, it's amazing. Even if it just released, it was already manga of the year in her heart. In fact, it should be the manga of the year in everyone's heart!

But you especially have taken her heart, kicking off any and all candidates that could have taken your place. Sitting beautifully in the throne of her heart. You were the main girl of the story, kind, pretty, and clever but didn't take anyone's shit for nothing. Your character was the exact one that Idia favors the most, so it was inevitable that you became her first and only favorite above the rest. Idia gathered anything she could get about you, analyzing your character under a microscope. Memorizing every small detail, no matter how insignificant. This also applies to your character arcs and relationships, causing her to make lengthy essays about it in the comments without fail.

Other times, when the author decides to shove tragedy onto you that she believes is far too much Idia would instantly go into a bout of outrage, her hair turning into a raging sea of red. The scale of her rage is clear to see if one were to read the scathing comment she had left. Don't they know that it's far to early? Your character isn't developed enough for this! She'd argue.

But usually, she would have calmed down in the following chapters. It's almost as if the author read her comments and decided to give you reprieve and a few wholesome moments in between as a peace offering. But that's most likely her imagination coming up with wild ideas on miniscule chances.

Months pass by, and before she knew it, it was already the final chapter of the manga. The manga she had spent hours mulling over, the manga that she collected a whole stock of merch for, the manga where she felt more than she usually does in real life, the manga you were in.

Idia stares at her screen, unblinking. The bold text of the final lines of the chapter staring back at her, the light of the screen almost painful as it illuminates the darkness of her room. Casting shadows along her face, making her look even more gloomy than she is. She doesn't know what is it exactly that she feels, it's like her heart feels full but at the same time has holes that leak out, causing a void of emptiness along with the full feeling.

It's strange, is this what it feels like when you get too attached to a piece of fiction? Idia wouldn't really know, she didn't get attached to much things in the first place anyway. But, she doesn't know what to think about it. It doesn't feel all that good, but it isn't all that bad either. Idia groans, burying her head into her hands.

Ugh, why does emotions have to be so damn difficult?

Idia can't believe this is happening. But the fact that you, in all your glory and grace, are right here, in her room, and gazing back at her is undeniable. Idia seriously questions if this was truly reality and she wasn't being delusional after so long of not having sleep and not eating properly. Which would have been the most logical explanation if you didn't look so real and lifelike. Especially when you stand there as depicted, eyes shining the same way it was drawn, actually breathing and are not just lines on paper.

When you quietly call out to her in confusion, Idia swears she'll see Hades in the next second because your voice is exactly as she imagined it-

"Uh hello? May I please know where I am?" You ask, slightly waving your hand in front of the strange girl's face – her hair being one of unusual blue flames that you've never seen before. The strange girl only jumps in response, letting out a surprised squeak. Scrambling to hide behind...a chair..? At least you think it's a chair.

The timid type huh, you can work with that. You put your hand back on your side, deciding to take a different approach so as to not frighten the poor girl more. Tentative, you leaned down to her level, purposely making your voice sound more soft and coaxing than usual, "Sorry about that, I'm kinda lost and it would really help me out if you could answer my questions, yeah?" The girls stares at you dumbly for a while, but your expression doesn't falter and eventually, she nods.

Another world? Manga character? currently in reality???? The revelation that the life you've lived was all a fabrication made from someone else's desires is a very hard pill to swallow. A bitter laugh escapes you as the strange girl – who had introduced herself as Idia – finishes her explanation. "So, you're saying that for my whole life, I've been living in some sick fairytale for the lot of you in 'reality' to watch?" You don't hide the bite in your tone, your frustration leaking out as if your body was filled with holes.

Idia squeaks, nervously clutching her hair – one that has swaying flames of azure – like an anchor that will keep her from sinking into the sea of your emotions. You sigh out, it's no use getting angry at someone who didn't have a hand in your creation. It's not like she had instigated anything that happened to you, she was just a viewer after all.

"Sorry, I got carried away. I didn't mean to get so aggressive." You say apologetically, your frustration still hasn't gone away, you don't believe it would go away so quickly but right now being level headed was the better option.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

You lean your forehead onto your hand, regulating your breathing. For now, it would be a good time to gather more information...

You straighten up, clearing your throat in attempt to get Idia – who still hasn't raised her head in what you believe is fear – to look at you. It works, as she raises her gaze to look up at you. "Say, could you tell me more about this 'reality' of yours?"

Recovering from the shock of being a manga character was a long process. Thankfully, it seems your host was an accommodating one. Helping you adjust as best as she can. Though this world...has plenty of strange contraptions. You were scared out of your wits when Idia pressed a button and the square on her table started lighting up. The fact that everything in Idia's room is considered 'high-tech' doesn't help, But right after you've finally gotten over your shock the next thing you know there was a literal child that looked like the contraptions that appeared out of nowhere! Though, after your almost obliteration of Idia's room the child(?) was surprisingly friendly and humanlike despite your hostility in your first encounter. You've come to know the child as Ortho. You start to wonder if this world has a trend to name their children strange things...Other than that, she was an exact opposite of her sister, sweet, sociable, and cheerful. However, their differences don't seem to separate them in the least. In fact, they get along than most siblings you see. It got you feeling all warm and sentimental for a bit. But even then, they both at least one thing in common, and that's how cute they are. Now, it's a given that Ortho is cute. (Why wouldn't she be? Idia built her to look cute!) Though, Idia can also be – by equal measures – cute!

Cute enough to make you squeal and want to squish her cheeks. Oh, and the way her hair turns pink every time you get close...It's absolutely adorable! You never thought someone's hair could be so expressive! At one point your curiosity got the better of you. By impulse, you lightly stroked the azure flames. It didn't burn like what one would assume, rather it was similar to the feeling of warming your hands over a fire on a cold wintry night. Of course, when you do this Idia audibly squeaks and swivels from her seat to look at you. Embarrassment, it was common expression Idia made while with you. You guessed it was because you are her favorite character, the amount of pictures she has saved is already enough proof. You apologize to her but you're sure the teasing tilt to your tone doesn't make you convincing. Right, the longer you've stayed here, the less you cared about being convincing. This place is much more peaceful despite being worse according to Idia. As Idia starts to sputter at you, hair the pinkest you've ever seen it, you start to think that this type of life isn't so bad.

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