#i just found out the day i was born was also a saturday so i was THIS close to being born on friday 13

[unpretty]

my girlfriend got me a set of ferris wheel press ink carriages to fit the bottles of ink she got me last year 💙

#original #or it might have been the year before. idk how time works #i just found out the day i was born was also a saturday so i was THIS close to being born on friday 13 #i was robbed

[honeyhivess]

i can't help falling in love with you <3

first 3 overblot boys falling in love with gender neutral reader

tags: cursing, might be ooc i am new to writing them

riddle rosehearts <3

riddle would only be open to dating someone after his overblot, he's such a stickler for the rules and didn't allow himself to truly let go and have fun until after the blot incident

he would be really scared to get into a relationship because of his parents, mostly his mom

he didn't want to get older and become his mother and treat his significant other like she treated him

you would probably have to be really close to him for him to start liking you tbh

the realization honestly hits him in the middle of the night

after doing his nightly routine he got into bed and relaxed, thinking over the unbirthday party that happened that night

adeuce had invited you to attend since you helped paint the roses, and since riddle had a bit of a soft spot for you by now he happily allowed it

you had a chair on one of the long sides of the table, closest to his chair at the head

late in the night his mind kept replaying you laughing at one of trey's bad jokes

oh shit.

riddle would be eyes open, staring at the wall in realization

the warmth he felt in his chest remembering your bright smile that day had him pleasantly overwhelmed

he never had the chance to crush on anyone else before since his mom so heavily sheltered him

this feeling came to him unknown and he was confused

he had a hard time falling asleep that night, and the next morning he immediately rushed to trey

after being teased a bit and prodded a bit more he realized he liked you

which, scared him

a couple days after he found out just what those feelings meant, he would have a hard time facing you

he didn't know what to do with this newfound information

you would have to confront him and make him tell you why he was borderline avoiding you

his face is RED red

he wouldn't stutter and would still kinda talk normally, but it would be more rushed

"Prefect... I've had the realization that I, really like you... If you would indulge me, I would love to take you out sometime...?"

leona kingscholar <3

...eh

lions normally have a pride of females, so leona is kinda used to flirting and romance

however, he is the bastard second born, so he isn't used to being the center of attention

when he met you, he saw an opportunity to have the chance at romancing someone without his brother looming over his shoulder

you hadn't even HEARD of his brother, which meant you couldn't even really pick falena over him

this excited leona a lot, so he got really territorial over you really fast

he would also put quite a bit of effort into wooing you, well, more than normal

he really tries to make himself just generally more appealing

he's nicer when you're around and started taking care of himself a bit more

it's a subtle change to you, but he gets DESTROYED by ruggie

when he initially realized he liked you he didn't have any big reaction

he's been through a couple relationships prior to you so it's not really anything new to him

you will start being dragged into his schemes more

also known as i really hope you like napping because you're about to get crushed

he drags you into his naps a lot, and he lays directly on top of you

you will not escape.

also he starts giving you a lot of things, gifts, food, clothing

he's not a hopeless romantic so don't really expect any super grand gestures

he also doesn't really confess? he kinda just asks you out

confessing is lame to him, it's juvenile

"Ay, herbivore? You free this saturday? You better be, I need a date to this dumb restaurant."

azul ashengrotto <3

motherfucker is NOT confessing first

i really hate to break it to you, but after his childhood, he does not have the confidence for that

now, azul may not confess, but he will flirt

...badly...

when he realized he kinda panicked and was immediately overwhelmed with worst case scenarios

he does not think you would ever like him, when he was younger he tried confessing to someone and got laughed at

so that kinda crushed him

jade and floyd would not be told, but they would notice very quickly

azul gets flustered when you're around and you get offered discounts occasionally

at first they thought azul wanted something materialistic from you

no he just wants your hand in marriage

they immediately become his wingmen, but

they are kinda the world's worst wingmen

jade is actually pretty good at highlighting azuls charms and good traits, but he also loves embarrassing azul in front of you

floyd is, floyd

he's a bit louder and much less subtle

and when combined they just start embarrassing azul, the poor octo-mer is dying

now, if you start hinting towards liking azul back, it is on

he immediately goes back into his smooth personality and he will start flirting with you

it starts of subtle, but it will become more apparent as time goes on

if you're really lucky and catch him on a good day, he'll ask you out

he'll invite you to monstro lounge, no one else will be there and you will be treated like royalty

jade would be the one serving you and floyd would be watching very intently from the kitchen

everything is on the house, just for you

"Have whatever you'd like, Prefect. This is all but a little taste of what more is to come."

a/n: i had so much fun writing azuls, i love octavinelle so much asdfghjk

#honeywritess #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst fanfic #x reader #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #heartslabyul #heartslabyul x reader #riddle #riddle rosehearts #leona #leona kingscholar #leona kingsholar x reader #leona x reader #leona fanfic #leona twst #riddle twst #riddle fanfiction #riddle fanfic #overblot #azul #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #savanaclaw #savanaclaw x reader

[crystal-moon-101]

A while ago I had made up a Zak for each day of the week to match Zak Saturday and Monday for fun, and because I wanted to give Zak some more AU similar to how Ben gets a lot of them. So not only do they all have different last names, but each have their own backstories and colour theming! So I hope you enjoy my little AU concepts.

-Zak Saturday-

Classic original Zak. I decided to draw them all when they're 11, start of the series vibes. So that's why he doesn't look like the ways I normally draw him currently, since those are when he's 14. Nothing different with his design here, beyond still giving him those vivid orange eyes.

-Zak Sunday-

Also known as Zak Argost, having been taken in by the man after he had a certain encounter with Zak's parents, resulting in their deaths. When Argost found the young toddler, seeing the start of Zak's power, he was happy enough to take the child with him and use his powers to his benefit. Due to being taken when he was very young, Zak doesn't remember his parents at all, fully believing in anything Argost tells him, the only family he has. So he happily helps his guardian in keeping cryptids tamed during Weird World shows, or during trips to learn about them, even if Argost puts Zak in more danger than he should. Due to his appearances on Weird World, Zak is a celebrity of sorts, even if he doesn't get to go out often. Argost also gives him a lot of gifts, keeping the child in a positive mood to keep him under his thumb. So Zak truly believes that Argost cares about him.

Though things start to turn when Argost finally decides it's time to hunt down Kur and take his powers, hiring Van Rook and Doyle on the mission. This leads to Zak and Doyle getting to know each other, with Doyle feeling protective over this random kid for some reason. Eventually this leads to him taking Zak away when this whole Kur business gets out of hand. While Doyle can't seem to convince Zak that Argost doesn't care about him, the pair do at least agree to try and find Kur first, Zak worried that even Argost shouldn't handle such powers. However, only time will tell if the pair discover the truth behind their unknown family history.

-Zak Monday-

The good old twisted gremlin of a child, Zak Monday and his family were a result of the smoke mirror. They come from a world that twists the very nature of people, a poor reflection of their negative aspects. If you're naive, then your mirror self is incredible dumb. If you're a bit of a perfectionist, then your mirror self is a control freak. And Zak Monday represents the twisted doubts of Zak feeling like a monster, so why have any doubts when you can be the monster?

I decided to change Zak Monday a bit to have the green eyes and green shirt with his own logo, cause I liked the idea that after his first appearance, they switch back to what they're suppose to look like. But other than that I kept the concept of him looking just like Zak, minus the inverted hair colour.

-Zak Tuesday-

The young naga is the son of Rani Nagi. Born solely to have Kur's soul enter and be a host, but whoops! Looks like Kur's memories aren't there, but that wasn't going to stop Rani Nagi, who thinks if she keeps at her plans, eventually her son will become the old cryptid king she once knew. Even going as far as to solely call her child Kur, who secretly calls himself Zak due to him often watching humans in the shadow, curious about them and wanting a name for himself. Zak Tuesday has a lot of identity issues, not helped by his mother's teachings towards him, ignoring all his dreams and personal thoughts. Eventually he just got really good at lying rather than convincing Rani Nagi.

However, the young cryptid prince is suddenly kidnapped by Argost one day, as he figured out where Kur's soul was currently living. Zak knew he would have died that day if not for Drew and Doc recusing him, having been chasing Argost over this Kur situation. Though they're a little surprise that upon meeting the new Kur, they find it's just a young naga who really doesn't know who he is. At first Doc and Drew didn't know what to do with him, but Zak begged them to not send him back home, and let him stay at their place until he could figure things out. He wasn't foolish, he knew the nagas were planning a war, and he wasn't keen on being the face of it all. So now the Tuesdays just have a snake living around the house, but they can't exactly complain as he is a well mannered guest at least. And perhaps the house doesn't feel so lonely with him around either.

-Zak Wednesday-

Some of you might recognize this one, but this Zak is from my old Zur AU, where Kur was reborn via the Kur Stone due to it being an egg, and Zak is a dragon that shapes between human form and dragon form. I decided to update him, making him Zak Wednesday now, with a pink theme! I also decided that instead of Kur being reborn, I wanted to shake things up a bit and have it that Zak was directly Kur's son. His mother is unknown, and as Kur saw how the world was at the time, he put Zak's egg into a stasis situation until it was discovered again. After saving it from Argost, the egg hatched among the secret scientist, leading to them chasing the child of Kur. But upon using his shapeshifting abilities to look like a child of Drew and Doc, they just couldn't help but adopt him on the spot, siting there was no sense in blaming Kur's son over what happened years ago.

The growing dragon is very playful with a cheeky personality. He exhibits a lot of draconic behaviors, with a wild and free spirit. He is aware of his family history, but he doesn't like to think about it, unsure in how to view his father based on the stories he's heard. Besides, Doc and Drew are his parents, and that's all that matter to him. Though perhaps this sudden appearance by Argost, claiming he was going to far Zak's father, has been a bit rattling to deal with.

-Zak Thursday-

When Kur knew he was going to die, and also knew his soul wasn't able to live the mortal realm, he made plans to make it so his reborn self would both be born in hopefully a better time, and be without his memories. It was better that way, so that his new self could live a lovely life without the sins from his past. But that didn't exactly pan out properly, as Kur was reborn and sadly remembers everything. It took him a while to understand this growing up, his young human mind not processing it until he was roughly 7-8, and even then he needed time to think about it. And now he's a depressed 11 year old who now has to be stuck with the fact his plan didn't work, unable to run away from the person he once was. Doc and Drew found out the truth when Zak tried running away one day, their son sitting them down and telling them the truth in hopes they'd just leave him, it would be better that way. But to his surprise they disagreed, as he was still their son, Kur or Zak, and it would be too dangerous to leave him alone.

So now Zak lives with his parents? Are they really his parents? The family keeping this dark secret to themself, even from the other scientists. Doc and Drew still reach out to their son, doing their best to connect with him, but he can't help but push them away. He doesn't deserve this, and they deserve better. However, their secret might come out after Argost stole the Kur Stone and now hunts for Kur, not realizing the truth right in front of him. So now the family tries to get the stones back, wanting to protecting Zak/Kur from others finding out. Doesn't help that he has to go through being a child again with such dark memories lingering in his head, feeling tired and overwhelmed with the world. Hasn't he suffered enough?

-Zak Friday -

In a world where Kur and cryptids successfully wiped out humans, the king ruled the lands for a while after, before one day he mysteriously vanished. Many concluded that he had died somehow, the details unknown, but this lead to a prophecy that one day their king would return, leading to many claiming to be him, or praying that they will be him for the power and wealth. In this universe, Zak and his family are all cryptids, with Zak being a a Chuvash Dragon, Drew and Doyle are Epimeliads, and Doc is a Gargoyle (Other characters are also cryptids in this timeline). Zak is a serpent like dragon that breathes fire, as a very twistable body, and can freely shapeshift. He's heard about the legend of Kur returning, but frankly he thinks they don't need him, even if the cryptid world has been shattered without a king for years now.

But when a yeti named Argost claims that Kur is back, being backed up by the Nagas, everyone starts to gossip and run around trying to figure out who the new Kur is. So maybe it's best that Zak doesn't tell the whole world about his sudden new powers to control and communicate any fellow cryptid is walks by.

#The Secret Saturdays #TSS #Secret Saturdays #The Secret Saturdays AU #AU #Zak Saturday #Character Design #Creature Design #My Art

[harlowcomehome]

No favorites!

A/N: Thank you @nattinatalia for the request! Hazel is a little older in this and Jade is five, she’s starting to become jealous of Hazel & Jacks relationship.

Anyone who knew you and your family had always known that Jack and Hazel were attached at the hip.

From the day she was born, she pretty much preferred to live in her dads' arms which made him going back to work extremely hard for you, but you managed.

Hazel was a spitting image of her dad, personalities almost identical with a dash of your fiery side sprinkled in. Everyone called her his “mini” and you thought it was adorable.

When you were pregnant with Jade, you had assumed this would also be the case but you soon found out you had a “mini” of your own. Jade was practically your shadow.

It wasn’t until Jade was about five years old that you started to realize a change, now that Hazel was getting older she required a lot more attention.

Hazel was a lot like Jack, meaning she was super competitive and Jack was helping her practice for her basketball game coming up this Saturday.

Jade was inside “helping” you clean up the house when you noticed her staring out the window.

“What’s up baby bug?”

“Daddy and Hazel are having a lot of fun” she sighed, shaking her head.

You were confused, wondering what she meant by that exactly. You walked over to the window and saw that Jack and Hazel were laughing and he was showing her how to dribble.

“Do you wanna go out there with them?” You questioned, knowing by now they had gotten enough practice in.

“No Daddy has his favorite and you have yours” she shrugged as she went to hand you the empty coffee cups from the table.

“Jadey?” You set the mugs down, bending down to get eye level with her. “What do you mean favorites?”

Her bottom lip began to tremble, she was very sensitive but you were too so you knew to be patient. “I think Hazel is Daddy's favorite and that must mean I’m yours?” She looked up at you with tears in her eyes.

Before you could console her Jack and Hazel came bursting through the door, scaring Jade off as she ran to go cry in her room.

“What’s going on with Jadey bug?” Jack asked as he leaned over to kiss you.

“Yeah, what’s her deal?” Hazel questioned, she was covered in sweat and both her and Jack reeked like BO.

“Go shower!” You teased, playfully shooing her off.

Jack could read the emotion all over your face, waiting until Hazel was out of earshot.

“Why is Jade upset?” He wiped the sweat off his brow with his forearm, his curls pushed back with a headband. You admired how attractive he looked, even knowing now was not the time.

Before you could explain Jade had run out into the living room. “You know? You’re my daddy too!” She yelled at Jack, shocking you both.

“Daddies and mommies aren’t supposed to have favorite kids!” She continued, she usually wasn’t so outspoken.

Jack looked over at you, his brows furrowed and his mouth agape. You could tell he was as caught off guard as you initially were.

“Jadey, we don’t have favorites. Me and your mommy love you and Hazel just the same” he bent down, and she immediately clung to him.

You started to tear up, wondering how you missed that she was feeling this way.

“Hazel is your best friend and I want to be too” she mumbled into his neck.

“You are my best friend! You, mommy and Hazel.” He rubbed her back, he faced you his eyes big and emotional.

“And Uncle Urban and Cope?” She reminded him.

“Yes, them too” he replied.

“Jadey, your daddy and I love you and Hazel so much. We love you both equally and we are both sorry for making you think otherwise” you spoke, wrapping an arm around Jack's torso and leaning against him to see her face.

“Promise?” Jade sniffled and you and Jack both nodded.

“Daddy, can I tell you something now that we are best friends again?” She pulled back wrinkling her nose.

“Of course” he smiled. “But you have always been my best friend and that’s never changed.”

“You’re kind of really stinky, I think you should shower now too” She pinched her nose and waved her hand in front of her face.

Jack laughed and so did you, “after I shower, let’s go get ice cream. Just me and you?”

“Deal” Jade giggled as Jack set her back down.

“You handled that well” you smiled, whispering before your husband walked away.

“Maybe that means you can handle me well too?” He wiggled a brow.

“Go shower! You smell!” You giggled before walking away.

#nattinatalia #Jack Harlow #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow concepts #dad!jack

[teyamsatan]

Cruel Summer | Chapter V: Oceans and Engines (end)

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader

Word Count: 8k words

Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, some fluff, all the feels, 18+ minors DNI

Synopsis: "The culmination of love is grief, and yet we love despite the inevitable. We open our hearts to it. ... To grieve deeply is to have loved fully. Open your heart to the world as you opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it."

A/N: Please read this before you read the final chapter x

Also, please listen to the playlist, and Oceans and Engines as you read, as I feel it will really enhance the experience.

I will leave my notes at the end of the chapter. Ily besties, enjoy!

: ̗̀➛ listen to the Cruel Summer playlist here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)

Saturday sunset

We're lying on my bed with five hours to go

Fingers entwined and so were our minds

Cryin', "I don't want you to go"

Neteyam was disorientated and lost, more so than he's ever been in his life, a life that felt like quicksand, swallowing him whole with every involuntary move, that didn't allow him to escape until it suffocated him, until it snuffed the light completely out of his body, until there was nothing left. Still, in this state, his only thought of you, and of the necessity to find you, to talk to you, of the hope that you'd talk him out of it.

He eventually found you on the beach, staring into the distance, back turned away from him, and his heartbreak hurt, its edges bleeding and broken, reeling at the unfairness of the universe, at the thought of having to tell you, once again, that he’s abandoning you for someone else, for a sense of duty he didn’t seem to be able to overcome.

“Vol…” 

Your soft sniffles took Neteyam by surprise, as did your face, littered in tears, eyes, nose and cheeks red and swollen. Neteyam exhaled, a sharp tug of pain tugging at his insides, and he sat next to you, unable to look at your face without breaking down, so he just looked at the ocean. 

“You heard.” 

He saw you nodding in his periphery. 

“Yeah… your mother, uhm… she was talking about it when I went to check on Kiri.” 

“Vol, I…” 

“Hey… stop.” You turned to face him, your knees pressing hard against his thighs, and you reached out to his face and turned it so he was looking at you. You brushed the tears that were falling over his lips and they trembled slightly as you did. 

“I think it’s my turn to talk.” 

You took a deep breath in. 

“All my life, I felt alone. I watched from the outside looking in at a life I could never have. I watched kids, my age, blue and so much taller than me, laughing and running and playing, not for one second having to doubt their place in the world, the meaning of their lives, because it was clear as day, from the moment they were born. I watched as you guys had a loving family, and two parents who were crazy about you, and so much love filled your tent and your faces, I was always jealous. I know you know this, but my mother never wanted me. She always resented me for not being able to return back home, for being too pregnant to allow for the cryo technology needed to make it back it Earth. Seven years I knew her, and seven years were enough for her to give me enough trauma to never fully recover from it, trauma I’ve yet to outgrow. So I was jealous. I wanted so badly to be part of your family, and of your world. I hated myself, and my body, and my parents, and every little happenstance that it took for me to be here, in this place, as I am, useless and weak.

But then, one day, this boy, he changed everything. He gave me a home, in his eyes, and his arms, in his mind and his laugh. And I’ve never been the same since. We grew up together and learnt to brave life together. I was his confidant, and his court jester. He was my biggest cheerleader, and my bodyguard. We were each other’s brother and sister, and later, we were each other’s comfort and love. I found myself in him, and I learnt my beauty looking at it through his eyes. I discovered my worth in the way he looked at me like stars were born from the freckles of my skin. And I hope I did the same to him. Neteyam, you saved my life. You gave me a sense of belonging, and a home. You gave me love, and friendship, and the chance to be myself and loved unconditionally for it. And I’ll never be able to thank you for it. 

All my life, I have been selfish. I got to watch as you had to struggle with big sacrifices that you were forced to make, and got to be angry at you for making them, without really thinking about it too much. I got to always be the victim, and made you the villain, because it’s easier this way. I got to be mad at you and think of myself so much of my life. And you had to live with the knowledge that you broke my heart, and deal with that guilt on top of everything else you were going through. And… I’m sorry.” 

Your voice cracked as he tightly shut his eyes and put his head in his hands, sobbing silently, finally able to let it all out, after all these years, after so long of keeping it all in. 

You wiped away tears

But not fears under the still and clear indigo

You said, "Baby, don't cry, we'll be fine

You're the one thing I swear I can't outgrow"

“It’s my turn, now.” You tried to crack a smile. “It’s my turn to be the bad guy. It’s my turn to break your heart. It’s my turn to be selfless, for once in my life. So I’m leaving, Neteyam. I think it’s time for me to go.” 

“What?” 

“We tried." the smile faltered as you said those words, as your voice broke, replaced by glistening eyes and a poorly masked grimace.

"We gave it our all, didn’t we? It’s the best that we could do, the best anyone can do, is give it their best. We did that. And I was so afraid yesterday, afraid of the fall, and while the fall is here, I’m not afraid anymore. Because I got to love you. At last once, I got to know that you loved me too, and that all these years, everything we shared, despite what we told each other, it was real, and it was love. I got almost two years with the man of my dreams, the love of my life, and I’m grateful for it. I got to know what it was like to be in love and have it reciprocated, what it was like to belong to someone, fully, wholly, and… what better way is there to live? 

You know, it always felt like we were running on borrowed time, you and me. And it turns out we were. And while our time is up, I still got a lifetime of memories that I’ll always carry with me, that I’ll always cherish.”

He sobbed and you cried silent tears, as he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you, and you felt his whole body shake as he cried, and you let him, and you prayed you could be strong enough to withhold his pain and your own. With your head buried in his chest, you stood there, crying together, slowly coming to terms with the love you lost, and the future you’d never get, and the past that made the pain unbearable, and the body you’d never get to hold again. He was everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you kept in dreams and prayers, everything you hoped for and ached for, and you lost him, and he was no longer yours. Was he ever yours to lose? 

“You know, humans believe in this concept of parallel universes. That in this immense universe we are in, there are actually other ones, parallel to our own, in which reality differs. There are infinite realties out there, they say, each of them slightly different to the other. In a different reality, you and I are together right now. In a different reality, I get to stay, and I get to love you forever. In another one, maybe I’m an Avatar, or a Na’vi, and everything we’ve struggled through is moot to begin with. Or maybe, in another one, we’re both human, here at the same time, or back on Earth, and right now we are at our boring 9 to 5 jobs, just daydreaming about seeing each other after work, and bickering about who’s gonna take out the trash. I think things work out for us in every universe but this one, and maybe that’s ok. Maybe we have to suffer for all the other you and mes to get their happy ending, and… I think I’m ok with that.” 

“I just got you back. I just got you back.” 

“I know.”

My mother said the younger me was a pretending prodigy

Well, nothing then, much has changed

'Cause while you're wolfin' down liquor, my soul, it gets sicker

But I'm stickin' to the screenplay, gotta say I'm okay, but answer this, babe

“Come on. We still have today. You’re still mine today, and I’m still yours today. And I want to remember it, this day, not for the worst goodbye of my life, but because it’s one more day I got to love you, the way I wanted to for so long.”

You got up from your spot on the beach and you pressed your palms on his raised knees so that he’d drop them, and he did. You’ve never seen Neteyam like this, this broken before. He looked a lot like you felt, but you knew he had braved too many storms for the two of you and it was your turn. Your turn to be the strong one, to put on the brave face and allow him to mourn, the way you did when he left. He deserved this, and you were happy to do it until you left on that helicopter, as long as you managed to ease his pain at least a little. You positioned yourself with each leg on one side of his thighs, and like this, for the first time ever, you were taller than him, and you did your best to lift his face up with both your hands on either side of his jaw, smiling as your eyes met, trying to ignore how your heart was breaking in a million pieces, how this was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, how little time you actually had to look in his eyes anymore and how lost your life would be without his light to guide you through it. You ignored it all and smiled, caressing his face, softening his frown, trailing your soft fingers over his eyes and nose and lips, tugging at the sides until you forced the corners upwards, willing them into his own little smile. You allowed his tears to stain your fingers and you removed your mask and kissed them off his face, as you did his lips, and the rest of his features until you were forced away from him, like you always were when outside, like you would always be from now on.

“Come on, you can’t let me leave without another swim.” 

How is it now that somehow you're a strangеr?

You were mine just yеsterday

I pray the block in my airway dissipates

And instead deters your airplane's way

Later, you laid on his chest, looking at your hands intertwined, his so much bigger than yours, almost engulfing it altogether, taking each one his knuckles and kissing them while your uncovered airways still allowed you to, and you tried your best to forget, at least for a while, that your reality was the tragic one. He did take you swimming again, riding the ilu that you’ve come to like as almost a friend, and you felt a tinge of sadness at another thing you got in one day that you had to let go of tomorrow. He took you to the Tree of Souls, which was forbidden to outsiders, but he didn’t care, not anymore. He wanted you to see it, because in his dreams, he always showed it to you, and in his dreams, you saw it and your guise and manner of expressing yourself brought him so much happiness it always woke him up, and he was glad to know his mind still knew you better than it knew itself, because you reacted exactly the way he’s always imagined, and it did make him so happy that he could cry, that he did cry, once more, tears barely dry from last time.

How was he supposed to let you go? How was he supposed to go ahead with this, when every fibre of his being, every thought of his mind belonged to you, and always will? When he finally found you, when he finally got you, when he knew what happiness really looked like, and how it had always been buried in the depths of your soul, and he just needed to ask for permission to enter it, and now that he had, he didn’t think he could ever leave, and he knew he didn’t ever want to leave. How could life be so cruel, and this summer, the cruelest of them all? 

But heaven denied

Destiny decried

Something beautiful died

Too soon

You took a detour back to the village and stopped on a different beach, isolated and reclusive, full of greenery and sandy beaches, that you decided was now your beach, your own little portion of heaven in the reef, that Neteyam promised would be for just the two of you, for the rest of time, as long as he could help it. He was happy to know he’s once more learnt your body like he used to know it back home, and devastated at how he would never get to put his lessons to good use after today, and from tomorrow, every new scar, and new curve, every new freckle or mole, it would all be unfamiliar to him, never to be seen or learnt again, never his to know again. 

“I figured out what I want.” Neteyam says all of a sudden, and you raise your eyebrows, confused at his words. 

“Hmm?” 

“Our little bet in the water? I beat you to it, and I was supposed to tell you what I wanted and you were supposed to do it.” 

“Ah, yes.” You say, almost impossible to perceive that that was just yesterday, and how it felt like a world away, like a life away. 

“So what do you want, 'teyam?” 

“I want you to promise me you’ll be happy. And you’ll live your life to the fullest, just like you always have when I was there.” 

Your eyes widened and the tears that followed had no time to gather in them as they came and went in a split second, and you were almost surprised you still had tears left to cry. You tried your best to put on a brave face, that you worried came off more like a wince, and you laughed, a fruitless attempt at making light of a dark, dim situation. 

“How can I be happy without you, 'teyam?” It was meant to be a joke. Just a teasing, light joke, but it came out as more of a wail, because while the words were supposed to be said in jest, they were also a genuine concern, a question that has plagued you for months and will continue to, for a very long time.

It was his turn to put a brave face on and a fake smile as he rolled his eyes and pulled you closer. 

“It shouldn’t be that hard, I’m not that great anyway.” 

You laughed too, wishing there was a way to erase the liquids pooling at the bottom of your damp mask. 

“Eh, you’re right. You’re just ok.”

You tightened your arms around his torso, and pulled him as close to you as you could. You both sighed, and tried to keep more tears from falling through. 

“Just try. Please? I need to know you’re going to try, Vol.” 

You nodded reluctantly, feeling as each crack of your heart deepened and chipped away, broken shards floating through your veins, making the ache travel through every inch of your body. 

“Only if you try.” 

But I'm letting go, I'm givin' up the ghost

But don't get me wrong

I'll always love you, that's why

I wrote you this very last song

You woke up in his arms as eclipse was almost over, and whatever was left of your heart sank as the dreaded new day came, and with it, the end of happiness and of life as you came to know it for almost 20 years. He was awake, you realised, as you raised your head to check, hopeless look about him as he looked up at the sky, at the eclipse melting into breaking dawn. You sighed, realising that there was very little to be said, very few words that could make this better, that could ever amend and mend the hurt in your both hearts, the loss of a relationship, a friendship and a future all in one, so you said nothing. You both watched the time ticking with each inch of the planet moving away from the sun, until eventually, the last remnants of the eclipse were just a memory. Like he now was. 

You rose to your feet, finding it hard to put on your clothes and turn around to face him. He half-rose as well, sitting with his arms propped behind him, leaning on them, as he continued to look up at the sky, not bothering to erase the tears falling down his face and chin until they hit his chest. You sat next to him, looking at the beach and at how the waves crashed onto the shores, and tried to focus on the rhythmic sounds they made to calm your racing, bleeding heart. 

“‘teyam… I think it’s time for you to go.” You ignored the way your voice broke as you spoke and you hoped he would, as well. “I think it’s time. I will stay here, on this beach, and I need you to please get up and go.” 

“Vol… I can’t leave you… please…” 

“Yes, you can. You will get up, and you will go, and you will be the selfish one for once. And you will do your duty, which is what you’ve always wanted to do, and you will meet this girl and fall in love with her in time, and watch as she adores you, because how could she not?, and you will be Olo’eyktan, the way you were always meant to be. You will do all these things, because you have to. Because, deep down, you know it’s the right thing to do.” 

You were both crying, sobbing in each other’s arms, trying to find the courage to leave, to finally say goodbye.

“I’m so sorry, Vol.” 

You shook your head. One last time, you took off your mask and kissed him, and you poured it all into the kiss, the goodbye you could never bring yourself to speak out loud, the love you had and now had to leave behind, the dreams and aspirations that were now just specks of sand blown in the wind, you put it all in that last kiss, and felt him do the same. 

“Don’t be sorry. I love you so much. And I forgive you.”

 

“I realised something these past two days. I held on to so much hate and anger because it helped me deal with your loss. But it was haunting, and piercing, my time away from you. The fire that was fuelled by my rage burned cold, like frostbite. But this… is different. Forgiveness is warm. Like a tear on a cheek. Think of that… and of me, when you stand in the rain. I loved you completely, and you loved me the same. That’s all. The rest is confetti.”

“Now go.” 

And so he did, and so you watched his back as it got further and further away from you until he was completely gone, and alone at last, you finally felt free to fall apart. 

I guess this is where we say goodbye

I know I'll be alright

Someday I'll be fine

But just not tonight 

The ceremony was beautiful. She was beautiful. Tall and turquoise skinned, with luscious, long, curly hair and a supple, jewellery-adorned body, she was everything you would never be. Jake insisted that you stayed. You were family, this was a happy time, and you should be here to celebrate. And so you stayed. And you watched as the Tsa’hik symbolically bound their destinies together with a piece of woven thread. You watched as she brought their heads together and made them recite words of promise and forever, looking into each other’s eyes, praying to Eywa for a fruitful mateship and for healthy offsprings. You said your tears were happy tears, just excited tears, when asked by the scientists and the rest of the Sullys, and you felt suddenly sorry for them, that they would never know. That in their midst, the greatest love story they would have ever seen was born and died, and they were ignorant of it. And you were angry at them, and at the world, for it had missed you, and missed him, for it will never know a love like yours, a love that was beyond this life and the next, but you resigned yourself, in the end, in knowing that it was enough that you knew, and that he knew. It was enough. 

After the ceremony, you had to watch as they left, just the two of them, headed towards the Tree of Souls, where you were just a few hours ago, and knowing what they were going to do made you sick, so you excused yourself and ran, as far as you could in the opposite direction, before lunging forwards and expelling all the pain and hurt that was too overbearing to remain contained in your body. You tried to think of anything else, like Tuk, and Kiri and Lo’ak, like Jake and Neytiri, like the beautiful beach and the sea and the animals inhibiting it, but everything came back to him, and the images flashing of him doing what you did last night to her, of his queues intertwined with hers, of having access to the part of him that only you were ever privy to, of the agonising thought that all your life, you were just a trial run for the real deal… it was hurt unlike anything you thought the human body could withstand, and yet you did. Because you promised him. That you would try to move on, and try to be happy. 

“Don’t be a stranger, ok, kid? I know you were upset, and we’re really sorry, but we want you in our lives. Ok?” 

You nodded and hugged Jake, and the rest of the Sullys, knowing you were lying, that you'll never come back here again, but glad to at least get this moment with them, a moment to catch-up and say a proper goodbye, and despite everything, despite it all, you were happy you came. Norm was right. It was good to have closure, it was good to let the people in your life that you love them, and that you’ll miss them, and that life will never be the same without them. You never know where life will take you next, and everything can change at a drop of a hat. But at least you got this. You got to love Neteyam, and hold him. You got to laugh and chat as you always used to do, you got to tell him how much he’s always meant to you and hear how much he’s loved you in return, and you got to ease his pain, at least a little, and despite it all, you were grateful. 

Plungin' into all kinds of diversions

Like blush wine and sonorous soirées

But even with gin and surgin' adrenaline

I see you're all that can intoxicate

The ride home was quiet, or at least it appeared so to you, as you didn't register anything besides the emptiness of your own soul and the overflowing of your thoughts that were trying to understand it all, trying to piece together what they had just witnessed and what they'd have to do to get you through the upcoming days. It was quiet, as was meeting spider again, although you vaguely remember some echoed cries and screams, some pleas of "please make it stop", someone carrying you to your room, and falling asleep in unfamiliar arms, that weren't blue or dotted with stars, that weren't the ones you ached for, the ones you'd never be in again.

The days were slow, and dragging. It was hard to find your footing in this new life. Before Awa’atlu, despite the anger and the pain, there was some hope in your mind, that you’d one day see him again. It was enough to keep you going, even if it was for you to yell at him, to curse him off, to scream about how angry you were and hope that he would apologise and make it up to you. It kept you going, that unlikely scenario, made you push through the hurt and change. But now, you didn’t have that anymore. There was no unresolved issues, no lingering, hidden feelings that could still be confessed, no way for him to one day return and ever be yours in any form ever again. There was nothing there. And that gaping hole left by his absence, by the love that was nested in your body with nowhere to go, with no one to give it to, the hole left by everything he was to you and the life he’s left behind, it was enough to cower you, to knock you down, day after day, enough so that you couldn’t find it in you to get up in the morning. 

Oceans and engines

You're skilled at infringing on great love affairs

'Cause now my heart's home

All I've known is long gone and ten thousand miles away

And I'm not okay

Norm’s subtle knocks were unmistakable - he was always gentle and kind, and always mindful of your disposition. You didn’t answer, but he came in anyway after a while, his hand over his eyes. 

“Is it ok for me to come in?” You sighed and rose from the bed, feet dangling off the side. 

“Yes, Norm. I’m coming to the lab now, sorry for being late.” 

He came in and the door slid closed behind him with a soft thud. He sat next to you on the bed and looked nervously at his fidgety hands. You rose an eyebrow, intrigued as to what could have made him this way. 

“Kid… are you ok? Like… are you truly ok?” 

Your eyes widened imperceptibly at his loaded question, that you knew you could never answer truthfully, that no white lie could ever cover. So you didn’t. 

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?” 

“Because there’s no light in your eyes anymore, kid. Because I look at you and it’s like I’m looking at a ghost. Because you’re scaring the shit out of me and Max.” He sighed, and reached over to take your hand in his and squeezed. 

“We didn’t know. About you and Neteyam, we didn’t know.”

Your gaze snapped at his face, and he looked sad and… almost embarrassed looking back at you. 

“Norm, wh-…? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“You know you can talk to us, right? I know it’s weird to talk to your surrogate uncles, but we’re here for you, kid. And you shouldn’t have to go through something like this alone. I’m sorry you had to sit through the ceremony, we didn’t realise until it was too late.” 

“How?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke. 

“During. And after. We had to watch the life getting snuffed out of your eyes slowly on the way back home. I’ve never seen anyone look so sad before… maybe except him. It was supposed to be one of the best days of his life, and yet, he’s never looked worse, the poor kid.”

“I’m sorry, kid. How long…?”

“It’s… complicated. I’m sorry I never told you. We both felt it wasn’t something anyone would be comfortable with, and we both know it could never last. It was supposed to be… fuck. I don’t know what it was supposed to be.” 

Norm sighed and put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a sympathetic tug.

But I'm letting go, I'm giving up the ghost

But don't get me wrong, I'll always love you, that's why

I wrote you this very last song

I guess this is where we say goodbye

I know I'll be alright, but just not tonight

"Did I ever tell you about Trudy?" you shook your head. The name sounded familiar, and you're sure you've heard it from Jake or Max, but other than the fact that she was a human that died in the war, you didn't know much else.

"She was... well, I guess she was my Neteyam." tears immediately gathered in your eyes at his statement and the empathy that engulfed you, because, if it was anything like it, then you pitied Norm and wished you could take away some of his pain, just like you wish someone could take away some of yours.

"I loved her, so much. I loved this planet when I came here, but it was a superficial love. I was young, and wanted nothing else than to prove myself, that I'm a good scientist, that I'm a good researcher. I was jealous and bitter of Jake for getting what I thought was my chance at success, at fame. And then I met her, and she was so full of light, and spark. She was brave, and kind. She just wanted to live and laugh and fly her helicopter, and... and do the right thing. Not because it would have brought her money or prizes or acclaim, but because that's just who she was. I thought I knew what love was, what being a good person was, what being happy was, but I didn't, not until I fell in love with her. When she died, I was so lost. I felt like a part of me died with her. I thought I'd never recover, and to a certain extent, I never did. I wish I can tell you that time heals, but in reality, that's not a guarantee. But you want to know something?"

"All her lessons, both meant and inadvertent, everything she meant to me, all the memories we shared, everything is still here. I still carry it with me, and it will always be a part of me. She will always be a part of me, and while that thought scared me in the beginning, while I hoped that time healing meant I would forget, now I know it means embracing the happiness it gave you, all the ways their presence in your life made you a better person. It means knowing that love is real, and it's everything, because you felt it with them, because they shared it with you. It's what makes this life worth living. And pain is just a reminder of how incredible your time together was. Cause in the end, what is grief, if not love persevering?"

Tonight was the first time I stared into seas

Of beguiling sepia two years ago

And the first time I learned real world superpowers lived in three words

They revitalise my fraying bones

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

“Happy birthday, Vol.” 

“So, how would rate your 19th birthday compared to your 18th?” 

You thought about it for a while. 

“Well, I can say it’s had a lot less booze, but a lot better sex.” You both laughed while your head was rested on his shoulder, as you watched your favourite season of your favourite show, sprawled in bedsheets, his naked body glimmering in the dark and reflecting in your eyes as you took his beauty in, that you never got accustomed to, no matter how many times you saw it. When the credits rolled in and the music faded, leaving a dark room behind, silent apart from your breaths, that were getting laboured once more as desire built up in your core yet again, you straddled him and watched his face get closer to yours, until your lips met, until his tongue explored your mouth and neck, leaving traces of him on you, until your hands trailed his chest and abdomen, lingering over his abs, until they reached what they were looking for, until he made you scream, over and over, until you let him. 

“You’re a fiend.” 

“I’m a fiend?! What about you?” Neteyam shook his head, and you scoffed and rolled your eyes at what you thought was a preposterous statement. 

“Let’s think about it. Who seduced who the first time? Who was drunk off their ass and asked to fuck, huh?” 

“Who kept getting boners around their best friend until one day she had the guts to do something about it, huh?”

He rolled you off of him with ease and pinned you to the ground, smirking and pushing his hips into your still dripping core. 

“You know why I kept getting boners, Vol? Because I could smell you. I could smell how wet you were around me. Your scent drove me nuts for so long. It still does. You intoxicate me. You drive me fucking crazy, Vol.” 

You said nothing as you looked in his eyes, as your heart fluttered much like the butterflies that were digging their way through your stomach.

“‘teyam…” He shuts you up with kiss, tender and soft, so unlike his words or actions, and you melt into it, and the fear creeps in your chest as you fall for him deeper, as you half-consider just telling him, just coming out with it, because fuck, you loved him and this wasn’t helping. 

“I have something for you. Birthday present.” Suddenly, he got off you, leaving you a breathless mess, and retrieved something from the pile of clothes on the floor. He plopped himself next to you and pulled you close, until you were resting his head on his torso, and you snuggled into him, glancing at the object in his hand curiously.

His words were soft-spoken and quiet, almost bashful, and you noticed his heart picking up speed, thumping loudly in the ear that was pressed tightly against his chest. “I didn’t know what to do for your birthday, considering you’re already blessed with the best gift in the world… my presence in your life, that is…” you snickered sarcastically, and he continued. “…but, every time I go on a mission, I think of you, and your voice that tells me to be safe, and I see your eyes looking back at me as you stitch my wounds afterwards, and I make it a point to grab a pebble at the end of each mission, to give to you. But, for one reason or another, I never did. So here.” He grabbed your hand in his, turning it upwards so your palm was facing the ceiling, and dropped the item in it. 

A necklace. A gorgeous, stunning, impossibly beautiful choker, with tens, if not hundreds of beads and pebbles of different colours and textures woven into it. It looked majestic, fit for a queen, or a Tsa’hik, and you felt tears pool in your eyes at its meaning, at how long he must have been collecting these for, with you in mind, at how long it must have taken to make, at how much it meant to him, and now to you. He took it from you and you held your hair so he could fasten it around your neck. It fit you perfectly, and you smiled up at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“How did you know it was going to fit?” He smiled and your fingers caressed your cheek, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. 

“Let’s just say I’ve had my hand wrapped around your throat enough times to have a pretty good frame of reference.”

You couldn’t help the blush in your cheeks, or the way your reached back for your new gift so you could trace your fingers over it, imprinting the feel of every bead in your mind, thinking of each one and trying to correlate it to a time, or a place, to a hunt or a battle he was part of that you weren’t, but how you were ever-present in his mind. 

“Do you like it?” 

“I love it, ‘teyam. Thank you.” 

“Making this necklace, it was a good reminder that you have been the only constant in my life since I was born. No matter how much my life has changed, how much I changed, you’ve always been there to brave the storm with me. And I love you, Vol. You’re my best friend. Forever.” 

“Forever.” 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

The hurt of the dream lingered as you woke up, as you had to deal with its remnants that were tattooed in your mind, as you had to once more convince yourself that somehow waking up is better than what you just left behind. It wasn’t, it never was. It was hard to find the will to get out of bed when in bed, this was your reality, filled with beautiful memories and hopeful fantasies, whereas out of bed, your reality was filled with war, and fighting, training til everything bled, and the gaping hole of heartbreak. And to top it all off, it’s your birthday today. A day that stopped belonging to you two years ago, and was instead just another bitter reminder of his absence. 

You got up from the bed and showered, finding comfort in the water hitting your skin and untying the knots in your tense muscles. It's taken awhile, weeks for you to mourn, but you have officially started training with Spider and Tarsem again, and you hated to admit it, but it helped. Being outside, in the forest, from dusk til dawn, thinking of nothing else but the ache in your body and the focus on the target, on the next goal, the next milestone, it kept your mind occupied and it allowed you to cope better than you ever expected. It was nice to be around other people, and you felt grateful for each and every one of them, because in truth, you didn't think you could have made it on your own.

When you made your way through the village to join everyone for breakfast, you were greeted with a myriad of screams of happy birthday, from humans, avatars and Na'vi alike, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a tinge of joy in your heart, and a swell of gratitude for the unforeseeable change in attitude from the people of the clan. For the first time in your life, you felt welcomed here, and you didn't know whether it was Tarsem's influence, or the Na'vi having another reminder, now that the Sky People were back, that not all humans are inherently evil, or your strenuous effort to be one of them and join in the battles and the training, but regardless of what it was, it was a gratifying change.

"Birthday girl, come on. We've been dying to give you your present." Max had the biggest smile on his face and an item you couldn't place in his hand.

"Here. Happy birthday, from all of us."

You raised an eyebrow.

"From all of you? That's a big present."

You took the curious contraption in your hands and twirled it around. It was lanky and weird, and it looked old, before your time, and even their time. You noticed as you inspected it that it had an eyepiece that resembled that of a microscope.

"That, kid, is called a stereoscope. Look into it."

You did, and as you put your eyes in the socket, a big picture of... cells came into view. But they weren't cells you've ever seen before.

"What is this?"

"Those, kid... are your cells. Actually, if we are being specific, they are your future Avatar's cells."

The stereoscope fell from your hands and you were happy Spider had catlike reflexes because it looked precious and unique and you didn't want to break it, but God, in that moment, you really couldn't care less.

"What did you say?"

"You know all the things we got from the humans that we didn't know what to do with or what they were? Well, we figured it out, kid. You, Spider and Max are all getting Avatars. And their technology massively improved, too. They're growing like crazy, it shouldn't take more than a year. By next year, you might be able to take it out for a spin."

A year later, as you celebrated yet another birthday, you had to give it to the scientists for being men of their word, as you stood in your new shiny Avatar body, that you've already become used to in the few weeks you've been inhabiting it. The mountain stronghold was filled with laughter and music as the celebration was underway, as people celebrated you and your 21st birthday, a big event back on Earth, apparently. You laughed with the rest of them, drinking and telling stories of this and that, trying not to dwell on the thoughts that were burrowing through layers of your mind, coming to the forefront, unwanted and unannounced. Thoughts of him, of you, thoughts of how this Avatar could have been the answer to all your problems if news of it came even if a few weeks before, how the universe was cruel and mocking, and how none of it mattered, not anymore. You wanted to focus on the positives, and you would. Just not tonight. Tonight, you had one last thing to do.

Now what do you do when your pillar crumbled down

You've lost all solid ground

Both dreams and demons drowned

And this void's all you've found

And doubts light it aglow?

As the celebration died down, in the early hours of the morning, you made your way to a place you loved so much, that you knew you needed to see once more, today, on your birthday. Because this place was his place, that he shared with you a long time ago, that in time became your place, and there was no more appropriate time to visit it one last time than today, on your birthday, exactly 3 years after everything changed between you. It was a long walk, on treacherous paths that you felt uneasy traversing by yourself, but there was no one else to do this with - not outside of him. Eventually, you pushed past thick foliage and greenery and you saw it, and despite how much time it’s passed, it still felt like the wind was knocked from your lungs with enough force to make you fall to the ground. It’s like no time passed at all. It still felt like he never left. To this day, his ghost haunted you, his memory continuous and unperturbed in your mind. 

Eventually, you pushed back and sat on the edge of the cliff, like you did the first time he brought you here, and looked at the endless beauty of the vast drop and the roar of the waterfall as it fell and hit the river underneath. 

You couldn’t even remember all the times you have been here, both of you looking ahead at the view, laughing and talking with no cares in the world, just happy to be in each other’s presence, happy to feel safe and understood, and have someone to complain to, someone to share your deepest secrets and fears with no judgement. All the times he’s watched you cry, or made you cum, too many to count, too many to forget. 

I have so many questions

But I'm pouring them into the ocean

And I'm starting up my engine

You would have given anything for him to be here as you were now, tall and blue and supple, to be able to share this moment with him, to be able to kiss him in this place you both loved, that carried so much of you, of him, to be able to know one day you’ll bring your children here, that you’ll be able to watch it pass by from the back of an ikran as you went on a family trip. You wondered if he would have found you beautiful like this, if he would even recognise you. You barely recognised yourself these days, both like this and going back to your human body, your real body, that changed as you spent more time in the neurolink, learning to be Na’vi, building up the strength in the only body that now seemed to count. You wondered if he would be excited with you, or if he’d miss your normal body. You wondered if he’d just forget about your body altogether and focus only on the blue one you were currently inhabiting. 

You wondered if he was happy. If he was getting along with his new mate, if she’s nice to him, if she knows how to mend his wounds and that he’s allergic to some of the plants a Tsa’hik uses for healing ointments. You wondered if he’s suffering as much as you are, even after all this time, or if he’s moved on, like he should, like you should. There were so many questions, that will forever remain unanswered, but that’s why you were here. You were here to look at this place one last time, to throw all the unsolved mysteries of life, and love, of the past and future away, away in the river, so they can float away into the ocean and be lost in the abyss, and allow you to finally move on.

You reached your hand in the pouch you had tightened on your chest, and pulled out a necklace, the necklace, that meant too much to you, and you looked at it, tracing your fingers over every one of the many pebbles embellishing it, reminiscing about the stories you made up in your head about each one, remembering each memory Neteyam told you they were about, watching as tears bounced off of them as the world became blurry around you, until eclipse slowly faded away from view and day took its place. You stood there for hours, thinking, crying, trying to build up the courage to do what you knew you had to do… needed to do. 

And I'm letting go, I'm givin' up your ghost

It's come to a close, I marked the end with this last song I wrote

Late in the night, with one last look at the necklace that didn’t fit you anymore, at all it represented, with one last glance at every pebble - each one, in your mind, a memory, or a touch, or a kiss, or a laugh, each one an i love you, an I miss you you said to each other, each one a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a month spent together, each one a memory you’d never get to make, a touch, or a kiss, or a laugh you’d never get to share again, each one an I love you or an I miss you you’d never get to say or hear again, you let go of it all, letting it fall over the edge of the cliff, hoping that he’s happy, like he promised you he’d try to be, and determined to keep your own promise in this new life, a life that started and will end without him.

I'm letting go, this is the last falsetto I'll ever sing to you

My great lost love.

A/N: there it is, besties. the intended end to cruel summer. honestly, i just wanted to say a massive thank you if you managed to reach this far. when i started this blog, a few months ago, and posted the first chapter of illicit affairs, i did it on a whim, i did because i thought why not? Now, 2000 followers later, I get to write so many stories I never thought I'd ever get to, or even think of, and it's all because of you.

Cruel Summer means a lot to me, as i think it signifies my growth as a writer, my growth on this platform, and as a person learning through deal with my own personal issues through my characters. I loved writing it so much, I cried so much, probably more than with any other story I wrote, and I hope I managed to make you feel something, and maybe think, bc that's all I want, that's all anybody that does any sort of art can want i think.

Thank you for coming on this journey with me, and I hope you stay for what's next, bc I'm not done, as long as there's still people that want to be here. I love you and am very grateful to all 2000 of you.

thank you @karma-is-a-cat-purringinmylap bc this ending is the way it is bc of her and her sending me this song back in like chapter II. I love you and you changed my life by introducing me to niki. (initially, the chapter was going to be Happiness after TS's song)

Also see if you can spot all the quotes from different games/tv shows i used ;)

Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @fanboyluvr@bananafruityawne @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @netemoon @www-interludeshadow-com @jackiehollanderr

#༊*·˚ andra's works #cruel summer #neteyam #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #sully family x reader #neteyam smut #neteyam x y/n #avatar way of water #neteyam x reader smut #neteyam x you #neteyam fluff #neteyam x reader angst

[steddieas-shegoes]

"Where did we put the freaking bag?!"

DM request from @lillemilly: "Where did we put the freaking bag?!" Can't remember if you've written ftm pregnancy Steddie before. But i have a mini promt of either Eddie or Steve freaking out because they can't find the hospital bag when its time to go. I keep joking about forgetting my own bag (do date saturday) 😅 I promise you even if you do forget your bag, there is nothing in it that you can't send someone to go back for or that can't be bought in an emergency at the hospital! Also, I literally (and I am not recommending this at all it's just a funny lil story) packed as I was having contractions at 5:40 in the morning on the day Liam was born. My mom came into my room and asked what I was doing and I said, "just like, things, ya know?"

-------------------------------------

"This is terrible and I hate you and I hate this and I never want to do this again. You have the babies."

Steve was in pain.

Everyone told him labor usually started slow, there was plenty of time to get to the hospital before the pain got unbearable.

Everyone fucking lied.

He'd woken up from a dead sleep to a wet bed. Eddie, of course, slept through his water breaking and the immediate panic that he was still not due for two weeks coming over him.

But only until Steve woke him up by slapping him multiple times on his arm and yelling that they had to go.

Eddie was currently trying to remember how to function as a human being while Steve was breathing through another contraction, the pain piercing and getting worse every single time.

"This isn't normal is it? Like, this should be slower?" Eddie was asking as he tried to lace up his boots, grunting when he had to start over.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just lucky," Steve gritted through his teeth.

"Okay. The bag. Need the bag." Eddie stood and turned around in a circle. Turned again. "Where is the bag?"

Steve was going to kill him.

He was going to have to be a single father because Eddie was an idiot.

That must have been written all over his face because Eddie suddenly clapped and started running out of the room.

Steve pulled his jacket on, already mentally preparing for the next contraction, certain that if they didn't get to the hospital within the next 30 minutes, he would be having this baby in their bed.

"Where did we put the freaking bag?!" Eddie yelled from another room, possibly the bathroom.

"Please, my sweet angel, please do not have your dad's forgetfulness," Steve sighed, hand on his stomach. "Is it in the living room?" He yelled out.

Eddie was quiet for a minute, then appeared in the doorway.

"Not there. Not anywhere. Do we even have a bag?" Eddie asked.

Steve blinked at him.

"I'm getting in the car. If you aren't there in five minutes with the bag, I'm driving myself to the hospital and you're not invited," Steve said as he slowly waddled out of the room.

"Oh!" Eddie yelled, brushing past Steve in the hallway and right out the door.

Steve just barely made it to the front door when another contraction hit.

"It's in here! I found it! See how prepared I was?" Eddie yelled from the car, proud smile on his face.

"So prepared," Steve snarked back.

Eddie helped him into the car and drove much faster than he should have to the hospital.

On the ride there, Eddie was holding Steve's hand, singing along to some music, and through the pain, and the frustration, and the fear, Steve smiled over at Eddie.

"I'm glad I'm doing this with you, Eds."

Eddie lifted his hand to his mouth, kissed the back of it, and smiled.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #drabbles #ftm steve harrington #pregnancy #labor

[mayariviolet]

AOT Men That Are Hozier-coded.

ft. Armin and Jean.

summary: Horny and pathetic. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOU.

cw: slightly suggestive themes under the cut. religious guilt, specifically Catholic or Christian beliefs… obviously (y’all know me atp).

a/n: Someone who can write smut comfortably please write an armin x reader OR jean x reader fic to the tune of:

‘Take me to Church’ and ‘It Will Come Back,’ by Mr. Andrew Hozier Byrne. PLEASE

THEY ARE SO HOZIER CODED! I’m just rambling rn because I think I’m ovulating falling in love with them again. Maybe I will turn this into a series where I associate artists with certain characters… I don’t know.

✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖

“My church offers no absolutes

She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"

The only Heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

I was born sick, but I love it

Command me to be well.”

LIKE TELL ME THATS NOT ARMIN… HE WOULD SO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WANTING SOMEONE SO BADLY THAT ITS BORDERLINE SINFUL. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY HE WOULDN’T CARE!

HE WANTS TO BE RALLIED AND HELD TO A HIGH STANDARD OR JUDGED BY SOMEONE HE REVERES, BC HE WANTS TO BE CHALLENGED. LORD HAVE MERCY. HE WOULD BE THE KIND OF DUDE TO HAVE IMPROMPTU RELATIONS IN A CONFESSIONAL. SURE HE WOULD FEEL GUILTY, BUT IT WOULD BE SO GOOD IN THE MOMENT! HE WOULD PROBABLY THINK HE FOUND SALVATION WITH YOU UNDERNEATH HIM. Impromptu, ‘Wrong use of a rosary.’

He probably sang in the choir or played the piano and just decided to drag you to church one day. Not in a:

‘I’m going to convert you’-way.

More like,

‘Look at this thing I’m proud of!’-way.

══════════════════

“Don't let it in with no intention to keep it

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it

Honey, don't feed it, it will come back.”

THIS IS SO JEAN BC THIS BOY IS A MUNCH!!!

I AM TIRED OF PRETENDING HE ISN’T.

He is so pathetic in a way that is just so satisfying for both of you. THIS MAN LOVES YOU IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORLD AND IS SO ANNOYING ABOUT IT. ESPECIALLY AT THE END OF THE SONG WHEN HOZIER SAID

“Don’t you hear me howling babe?”

HE IS CALLING FOR YOU! AGHHH!

If ever he got in a fwb type of situation I feel like Jean would jokingly say,

“Don’t fall in love with me.” and you’d be like, “Okay? I wasn’t planning to…”

BUT THEN HE WOULD BE ALL POUTY AND TAKE IT ALL BACK WITH SOMETHING LIKE,

“Wait no I lied please fall in love with me-”

So when you do finally fall in love it’s kind of a:

“Last chance to back out because once we do this with emotion, there’s no turning back.”

MORE OF A WARNING FOR YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES SO DEEPLY.

Jean would not be one to go to Church because he doesn’t believe in God or a higher power. He’s open to discussing it, though, especially if you are. But if he could choose to worship something or dedicate his life to it would be YOU.

══════════════════

(Me after writing this…)

a/n: I have no idea why I’m so feral lately. Nor, why I keep writing head canons at like three am… I’m gonna finish editing the first chapter of my Geto fic tomorrow. Hopefully upload it by Saturday!

I should also clarify that I was literally raised Catholic.

══════════════════

© Please do not copy or replicate my work. Inspiration is appreciated, but credit properly! ♡

#i love pathetic men #and religious guilt #explored through power imbalances #i need them pathetic and insatiable. #aot headcanons #ilysm armin alert #Armin alert x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot x reader #armin alert headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #jean kirstein aot #armin alert aot #aot #modern aot headcanons #no because him and Jean are so hozier coded it’s not even funny #jean kirstein is hozier coded and I’m tired of being silenced #Spotify #hozier #mv.writing📝 #mv.creates🤍🎑 #attack on titan

[glitterypin]

tagged by bestie @snugsunresplendence (sorry to arrive so late to the party but work has been an absolute whore)

1) were you named after anyone?

I grew up knowing I was named after one of my father's aunts (whom I loved very much as a kid - she died when I was 12). A lot later I found out that my grandmother wasn't my mother's biological mother and that my mother's biological mother also shared the same name, so there was some intent there, as well.

2) when was the last time you cried?

I teared up a bit after therapy today but the last proper cry with full sobs and snot was Saturday after work byecause work lately has been an absolute WHORE.

3) do you have kids?

No and I don't want them.

4) what sports do you/have you played?

I played volleyball when I was a kid. I'm not at all sporty and I'm also super fat and out of shape that even though I wish I could run or hike, my body just can't.

5) do you use sarcasm?

Quite a lot, since I was very young. Not in a cruel way anymore, though. Like, I'll be sarcastic like "such lovely weather we're having!" when the weather is very obviously shitty.

6) what's the first thing you notice about people?

I don't even know. The look on their faces, probably.

7) what's your eye color

Dark brown.

8) scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, I don't believe in recreational fear.

9) any talents?

I'm very smart, good with words and I have a good instinct for narrative structure. Sadly, I am wasting all of this in discussing other people's writings instead of writing my own things, because I counterbalance my talents with an unhealthy level of laziness.

10) where were you born?

A hospital in Athens, Greece.

11) what are your hobbies?

I like watching films, reading, writing (small things, nothing that requires any level of effort or commitment), baking and also doing absolutely nothing, sometimes accompanied by music.

12) do you have any pets?

No. I'd like a cat but I don't feel ready for the responsibility of taking care of a living thing, yet. I got a pot of basil a few months ago and right now it's a pot of soil with two brown sticks sticking out that I still water every few days, pretending that it's just a phase and that I haven't actually killed the very dead thing.

13) how tall are you?

166cm, I think

14) favorite subject in school?

Chemistry, probably. I'm sure it wasn't the same every year but I was a lot into chemistry for a long time, I remember as much.

15) dream job

Well, screenwriter, I guess. Except I'd also need my dream personality to go with this dream job because the way I am now I just can't.

tagging! @gothic-goon @yourfluffiestnightmare @ivankaramazov07 @santacoppelia @lavend3r-mo0n

[octuscle]

Shiny fabric

As much as Mack enjoyed living in the countryside in Scotland, he also enjoyed the occasional trip to London. He loved the metropolis, which was yet another category entirely different from Glasgow. And Mack loved the East End. Here he found honest lads, real fellas, with whom one could have all kinds of fun. Fun of all kinds. Actually, it was usually enough for Mack if there were a few beers and if there was fucking afterwards. That was all he needed on a good night out in London. But tonight he was excited. He'd passed a store last night on the way to his hotel room that had Adidas Chile tracksuits in his size in the window. In XXL. Black with gold stripes. He had been looking for it for years. Just wasn't available in that size anymore. He had never understood why Adidas no longer produced it. He knew a whole bunch of fellas who got off on the shiny fabric. He wouldn't necessarily wear something like that in public. But at home. Jerking off in the fabric. He had gotten a boner right away at the thought.

The store was called CHAVTF and it opened at 11:00 on Saturday. At 10:50, Mack was at the door. He didn't want to take any chances, he had to have the tracksuit. At 11:15, a young man came and opened the door. Slim, he wore a tracksuit himself and an alpha jacket over it. Hair noticeably shorter than Mack's. Cool bastard, Mack thought to himself… The cool bastard asked Mack into the store, turned on the lights and asked how he could help. As cool as he could be, Mack asked for the suit from the store window. In XXL. The store clerk laughed. Mate, the only thing XXL about you is your dick. There are changing rooms in the back, get undressed, I'll bring you the tracksuit. Without thinking, Mack went into the locker room and stripped naked. Between his legs dangled his impressive cock, dripping precum. He looked at himself in the mirror with satisfaction. The young man came into the cubicle, the curtain of which was not drawn at all. He placed the suit on a stool, hugged Mack from behind, and grasped the massive cock with both hands. "To try on the suit, though, please wrap that beauty up," he laughed. Mack picked up the jockstrap from the floor and pulled it over his wiry, hairy legs. The jockstrap still reeked of last night's piss, cum and beer. He took the shiny size S pants and pulled them up. Fit like a glove. The store clerk cleared out a new shipment of goods and stopped briefly at the changing room. Looks extremely awesome, mate. Your customers are going to love it."

Mack reached through the fabric of his pants for his cock. "Hell, yeah," he said enthusiastically. "Here, try this T-shirt with it," the store clerk said, tossing him a compression shirt with Batman printed on it. Mack slipped it on and nodded his approval. Looked cool, accentuated his lean body. "Say, how much do you actually take for a date?" Mack said that depended on the customer, a quick blowjob here in the locker room would be free. But otherwise, he would be a luxury product. Only for an escort service he took 200 pounds an hour. Everything else cost extra. "Bloody hell," the clerk replied. 'I work two days for that. When things are going well. But don't your customers expect someone freshly showered? You smell like you haven't showered in two days." "Three, actually. I'm about to have a pervert jerk off while he gets to smell my armpits. Gives you some extra cash." "I really have the wrong job. Is the Arab accent a trick? Or are you really from there." Maleek explained in the finest Cockney accent that his parents were from Morocco, but he was born here. Of course, the Arab accent is a trick. But his clients would dig it.

Maleek paid for the three tracksuits that were still available in his size. He knew how dates with his next client went. If his tracksuit survived, his client would ask him to piss in it and then pay him easily five times what he had to pay now for three suits. So two suits on reserve was a wise investment. And just because he was a whore, he didn't have to be a bad businessman. But now let's go to the agreed meeting place and play the street hustler. That was part of the game with his client.

#race change #male tf #chav tf #male transformation

[jackharloww]

Can you write a dad Jack where maybe Grace is a little older and when she’s out with Jack and the reader she loses her favorite stuffed animal so you’re both panicked and trying to retrace your steps to find it?? 🥺

a/n - okay so this took a turn, dramaaaa 😂😂😂 I made it a bit silly at the end 🫣

“Carrot is worth it”

You, Jack, and Grace were going out this Saturday to have a whole family day. It was Jack’s day off from the studio, so you had him for the entire day, and it was only two weeks until Christmas, so a shopping spree sounded like a perfect plan. The day started with you guys making pancakes, and your toddler, Grace really wanted to help, so a deep clean of the kitchen came after that perfect breakfast. After you cleaned the kitchen, you all got ready for the day, and Jack changed Grace while you got ready.

”ready to go?” You walk out to the living room, where Jack and Grace had sat in front of the TV. Jack nodded, and Grace ran to the door, giggling, ready to go out. Her favorite bunny, Carrot, was, of course, in her hands. You walked hand in hand to the car, and Jack drove to the mall nearby. You went into every store you saw trying to find every family member the perfect present.  When you walked past the toy store, Gracie wanted to get up from her stroller, Jack put her down, took her hand, and they both walked into the store, trying to find something interesting. They came out a few minutes later with a bag in Jack’s hands, making you shake your head, He spoiles her too much. 

“Mama Gracie hungry,” Grace said, looking up at you with her big eyes, gently patting her stomach. 

“Yeah, mama So is Jack,” he joked, giving you puppy eyes and making you laugh at your two babies.

“Let’s go get something to eat then.”

“Oh no, Carrot,” Grace exclaimed when you walked to the restaurant. She stared at you with wide eyes and opened her mouth, her eyes starting to tear up. Her lovely little bunny, Carrot, was no longer beside her in the carrier.  You looked at Jack with wide eyes trying not to panic. Grace has been attached to that bunny since she was born, a present from her uncle Lay lay. You began to search the whole stroller for the bunny crazily; you even checked all the shopping bags but found no trace of the lovely little Carrot. 

”Jack, where can it be,” you said in a panic, trying to figure out where it could be. 

“Where did you last see it?” Jack was now carrying Grace, trying to calm her down from crying. 

“I don’t know, fuck”  you said, very frustrated,  

Gracie gasped, “Bad word, mommy,” she said and put her hands over her mouth. 

“I’m sorry, baby; I shouldn’t have said that” you sighed, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. 

“You’re freaking out more than her, ma; chill,” Jack said, trying to get you to calm down, but his comment only made you glare at him, not helping at all. Grace did not only bring Carrot with her everywhere she went, she also had to have it beside her when she slept, so you knew that you had to find it or else it would be hell. 

Jack took his free hand and put it on your shoulder. “Okay, okay, deep breaths, Let’s just retrace our steps,” he suggested; he grabbed the stroller and started walking the same way you took to the restaurant. You walked to the toy store but came out without any luck. When you got out of the store and were just about to walk to another one, Grace squirmed in Jack’s arms, “Carrot,” she screamed very excitedly. You both looked where she pointed and saw that carrot was in the hold of a young boy nearby. You all walked up to him where he stood alone, eating ice cream, next to the ice cream shop. You walked ahead and smiled at the kid. 

”Hello, young man, this little bunny that you are holding belongs to my daughter. Can we get it back, please?” You asked very nicely with the most gentle smile you had. 

The boy, who looked around ten years old, looked at Carrot and gave you a smug smile. ”No, I found it, so I’m keeping it,” he said, pulling the bunny closer to his chest, feeling very proud of himself. Jack came closer to you and handed over Grace. When she saw the boy bring Carrot closer to him, her lower lip started to quiver, and she looked at you with tears in her eyes. ”My carrot, mommy, is mine” She pointed to the bunny and started to cry once more, snuggling her head in your neck as you hugged her tightly and rubbed her back, hoping Jack would get it back. 

”Let me handle it,” He kissed you on the head and walked over to the kid. 

”Hey, bro, she’s crying. Please give it back,” Jack said with his friendly voice, but the boy’s smirk grew wider, and he held on to the bunny even tighter and shook his head. 

”Okay, listen here, you little punk ass kid, give Carrot back now, or I’ll tell your parents,” Jack said, frustrated, making you gasp before trying to hold in your laugh. 

”Go ahead,” The kid said as he continued to eat his ice cream. 

”Fine, here, take this and give me the bunny” Jack pulled out a five-dollar bill and handed it to the kid. 

”That’s not enough,” He said as you stared at him, very shocked. How can a kid be this cruel you thought to yourself. Gracie was still crying out for Carrot while you rubbed her back, trying to get her to calm down. Jack searched his wallet, took out a 20-dollar bill, and showed it to the kid who almost dropped his ice cream when he saw it. The kid grabbed the money and let go of Carrot, making Jack quickly reach for it to catch it. He returned with Carrot in his hands and happily showed it to Grace, who quickly took it and hugged it. 

”Are you crazy? Did you just give him 20 dollars?” You whispered to Jack, who only shrugged 

”Carrot is worth it.” 

#jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow #dad!jack #jackharlow #jack x reader #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow story #jackman thomas harlow #harlow #jack harlow stories #blurb #jack fic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #jackman #fanfic #jack harlow x reader

[pensat-i-fet]

Making memories together (Leon Goretzka x Reader)

**Got this little request and took it as an opportunity to test writing about topics I’m not neccessarily as comfortable with. I hope you enjoy the result. I think it’s pretty cute 🥰**

Word count: 1052

Masterlist

Wattpad

“Is she sleeping?”, Leon nodded when he got inside the room but you couldn’t help but notice he seemed worried. “You ok?”

“Not really”, he said, sitting down next to you. “I found out today that our match has been moved to another day”.

“Why is that an issue?”

“It’s now on Sunday”.

You frowned wondering why that was an issue until you realised what Leon meant. Sunday was your little baby’s first birthday.

“Honey, it’s okay. We can move the party to another day”.

“But her birthday is on Sunday, not another day”.

“Yes, and she’s also turning one. That party is for us and our friends, not so much for her. She’ll be sleeping most of the time and won’t remember it”.

You tried to laugh and joke about it but weren’t getting the reaction you hoped from your partner.

A little cry saved you from dealing with this for now since it was now your turn to go see what happened to little Sophia.

When you got to her room, she was still sleeping. Probably just had a dream that made her cry for a couple of seconds. Looking at her, you couldn’t believe she would be turning one in just a couple of days. It seemed like it was only yesterday when you were coming back home from the hospital with her in your arms, looking so small and fragile.

Kissing her head softly enough so as to not disturb her, you went back to your room and found Leon staring at the ceiling.

“Hey, stop feeling guilty, ok?”

“How? I’m always missing big moments because of my job. It’s really annoying”.

You put your head on his chest, cuddling to his side to give him some comfort. “That happens to a lot of people. But your job just makes that a bit worse. It also means your daughter will have everything she could ever ask for so you know, there are positives and negatives”.

“I just don’t want her to grow up feeling like I’m never there for her. Money can’t buy those special memories for her”.

“She won’t. We’ll do everything possible so she doesn’t, ok?”

He nodded, still not looking so sure. And you were now thinking about how you could show him you meant your words.

                                            **

“Come in, they should be home already”, you told your mum, who was going to stay with you on Saturday night to get everything ready for Sophia’s birthday. “Where are my favourite people?”

“Living room!”

When you got there, you found Leon on the floor with Sophia crawling around him and hitting him with a toy.

“Having a good time?”, you laughed.

“The best”.

You sat down next to them, trying to kiss your little daughter but she was too busy crawling. So you kissed her father instead.

“I have to leave in half an hour”.

“We’ll Facetime you tomorrow after the match, ok? So you can wish Soph a happy birthday at the time she was born. You’d be done playing then”.

“I’ll be waiting for the call”.

Before leaving, Leon showered you and little Sophia with kisses. And you couldn’t help but smile knowingly. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

                                       **

When you woke up on Sunday, you ran to see your baby and sang happy birthday to her. It really was silly to make such a fuzz…she just wanted to eat. But you still gave her a new toy, not being able to wait for the party to give her some of the gifts.

“Go get ready, honey. I’ll get her dressed”, told you your mum.

“You sure?”

“Yes, that way we can leave as soon as possible. Go now. I have this under control”.

A quick shower later, you put on your Bayern shirt and got all the baby stuff you could need, and then some, before heading to where your mum was taking photos of her granddaughter.

“You two done taking selfies?”

“Yes”, she laughed, “let’s go surprise your daddy, Sophia”.

The match was going to start at 5 pm, which meant it would be definitely finished by 8 pm, the time when Sophia was born one year ago. You always joked saying she had waited until that time because that was her dad’s number. It really felt like a very special coincidence.

“He’s really trying to get that goal, huh?”

You laughed at your mum’s comment because she was so right. Leon was desperate to score so he could dedicate it to his daughter. And that melted your heart. So when he finally scored, you screamed so loud that a lot of people around you turned to look at you.

Leon ran to the camera to do a little celebration for Sophia, not knowing his daughter was closer to him than he expected.

When the match ended, your mum, Sophia and you made your way to the dressing room area. The team knew about you being there so you didn’t need to worry about how to get there.

After the interviews and the shower, Leon was sitting down with his phone in his hand, waiting for you to call him.

“Bro, go outside for a second”, said one of his teammates.

“I can’t, I’m waiting to Facetime with my daughter”.

“I know, just go outside. Trust me”.

He got up and left the dressing room, curious but also worried he’d miss the call somehow. But when he was outside, he realised he didn’t need to worry about his phone anymore.

“What are you doing here?”

“Sophia didn’t want to miss seeing her daddy score on her birthday”.

Leon finally remembered how to walk and moved towards you, giving you a quick kiss and taking Sophia in his arms. He always felt so much pride and love seeing her wear her little Bayern kit with “Papa” on the back.

“Happy birthday, my love. I’m so happy I can be with you today”.

“And at the right time”, you said to him, showing him your phone. It was 8 pm.

“Thank you for making this possible. It means the world to me”.

“I know”, you said, putting your arms around his waist. “You might miss some moments of Sophia’s life and I’ll miss others. But we’ll make enough memories together for her. Don’t worry about that”.

#leon goretzka #leon goretzka imagine #leon goretzka one shot #leon goretzka fluff #footballer imagine #footballer one shot #footballer fluff

[blorbocedes]

so i'm not 100% up on the nico lore and i keep seeing posts on my dash about how he nearly ruined his marriage to beat lewis and like, didn't even sleep in the same bed as his wife???? is any of that true? cos most of the stuff i've seen with his wife makes them seem like a really solid couple so... idk what to think

alright hello anon!!! for this one I got help from a fellow nicologist: @colors-of-feeling

the tldr of it is: nope, vivian was always incredibly supportive of nico racing, and when nico undertook the intense routines he did in 2016; she helped making sure he didn't have to focus on anything except racing, and there's even a story of their baby then 1.5 years old crawling into nico's office and instinctively putting her hand over her mouth to shush herself "cause you don't disturb daddy while he's working" 🥺😔 ultimately, nico found what he did in 2016 unsustainable and missing out on his family + kid's developments stages.

blonde4blonde. I just thought they looked incredibly hot here. @colors-of-feeling extended answer below:

and okay so there are articles of him not sleeping in the same bed as vivian (i think it may be from his beyond the grid but im not positive) and like most of that was beacuse he was working with a sleep doctor on jetlag and was waking up at and going to bed at crazy hours.. like running around monaco at 3am to change his body over to a new time zone

and also vivian had all the baby duties for the entire year. nico has said and i explicitly remember that he didnt do a single diaper change because he was just focused on recovery when he was home

BUT in NO WAY did he almost ruin his marraige. nico has said multiple times that vivian was completely on board with their plan for 2016 and that he could not have done it without her love and support and that she was his rock through the entire thing. Like they are (and in 2016 were) a very strong couple and she knew what racing means to him and was willing to help him achieve his dream

more tidbits:::: he also said that she didn't even know about his plan to retire until the saturday before the race and so one could assume that it wasn't like an ultimatum or anything for her either,,, it was just their plan to try and get nico to win and she fully supported that (or so nico has said)

she even got louis vuittons in his turquoise color to wear for his championship win and was there for as many races as she could be (idk if she went to all of them)...

like to this day, the only pictures nico has behind him when hes using his sim racing set is a picture of her and him getting sprayed with champagne after his wdc win and then another similar one in his office.. like she (and the girls) are his entire life

ALSO to correct another narrative i've seen thats connected to this... everyone being like 'why is he commentating for sky if he says he loves his family' when NICO HIMSELF has said that he loves to do it and has 100% complete control over his schedule and which races he goes to and therefore can plan his work around his family rather than the other way around (that's why he's only commentating 5 or so races on location 😔)

vivian was also pregnant and gave birth in 2017, so that beats the "nico gave up sex" theory, also I personally find born again virgin world champion very funny

#blonde4blonde #nico rosberg #vivian rosberg #nicology #blorbocedes ask

[teenslib]

Tales from the Reference Desk

Yesterday just after we opened, I got a phone call from a woman asking if I could help her find information about her brother, specifically his death date. He died in 1974, and she was young enough at the time that she didn't remember the exact day he died, nor his birthday. Her parents and other relatives who might have known are also dead, so she had no one in her family to turn to. She had tried the county clerk's office, but they required a date of death in order to look up his death certificate. Other phone calls had lead to dead ends, but she did have one clue: the cemetery where he was interred told her he was buried on May 23, 1974. She also knew his full name and that he was 14 when he died, so he was born in 1960 or '59. 

My initial searches didn't bring any relevant results, so I took her phone number and told her I'd call her back by the end of the day. Her brother had a common first and last name, but by using the advance search features to narrow down results and trying out different variations on his name (with and without his middle initial or Junior suffix), I finally found an article from the Tribune headlined, "Bodies of two teens found," which said that he and a neighbor had been found shot near a local fishing spot. Using his name as it was reported in that article, I found another written a few days later reporting that a suspect had been arrested. Neither specified the date of death, but the first said, "it appeared as tho [sic] they had been killed Saturday night." I looked up the date the article was published in Google Calendar and found that the Saturday prior was May 18, 1974.

When I reached the patron on the phone, told her what I had found, and offered to print out or email her the articles, I could hear tears in her voice as she thanked me and tried to express how much this meant to her. It was one of those moments that keeps you going in a job like this!

#tumblarians #adult reference #public libraries

[polichinelle]

the raven cycle timeline

"trc takes place in the mid-2010s" "trc takes place in 2012" no it doesn't! it's pretty common knowledge that mstief isn't the most specific when it comes to timelines (an example is that she had to change ronan's birth date after readers pointed out that it didn't line up with the events of the book; another example is the pre-canon gansey & adam & ronan friendship timeline, which doesn't make sense at all if you think about it longer than a second), and she has said before that her editors are more or less the same.

what that means is that the raven cycle and the dreamer trilogy are kind of nebulously "present-time," and no matter what year you think it takes place in, some details are going to be inaccurate. but since i am a chronic nit-picker and i get very fussy about timelines, that didn't sit right with me! i needed to know the exact year. so on my last reread, i kept a look out for any mention of dates so that i might be able to pinpoint exactly when the raven cycle takes place.

and i think i might have the answer :)

all of my arguments come from the dream thieves.

firstly, adam's birthday. we know that his birthday is july 3rd:

we also know that he was missing for most of the previous day:

what happens then is that he falls asleep for an indeterminate amount of time ("Later he fell asleep sitting up on the end of that same sofa."), he and gansey drive back to henrietta, adam visits blue at fox way, and after scrying with persephone he falls asleep again for twenty-one hours, and during that twenty-one hours is when his birthday takes place.

for a while i assumed the "quietly turned eighteen" referred to midnight, but that actually doesn't make a lot of sense given the context of the previous day being saturday. both of our options (gansey and adam drive back the same evening they found adam; gansey and adam drive back the next morning, on sunday) leaves us with adam falling asleep on sunday. at some point during the next twenty-one hours he "turns eighteen."

the thing is, there is no convenient year where july 3rd falls on a monday (in the scenario where we assume that "quietly turned eighteen" refers to midnight on the day of his birthday). however, if we go with the idea that it is still sunday and it refers simply to his actual time of birth, we're left with a pretty good answer:

adam turns 18 on sunday, july 3rd, 2011.

i have another thing to kind of back this up.

if we assume niall wasn't lying about that, we have two (well... kind of) options:

i searched for earthquakes in northern england since niall was born in cumbria. however, in my opinion, the second one, on december 26th, can't really be counted, since it would mean niall was... 32 in 2011. a little young lol. but if he was born in 1970, he would be 40/41 at his time of death, which makes a lot of sense (it also makes sense he would be a leo). neither earthquakes are a 4.1, but whatever, maybe he just forgot the exact number. maybe he was being humble.

so... all of this to say that the events of the raven cycle probably happen during 2011, and thus the dreamer trilogy would take place in 2013. considering the references to fortnite and all, that doesn't make a lot of sense, but at least i can rest easy knowing that that's just because mstief didn't think about this stuff at all while writing it (hence nebulous "present-day" being the actual correct answer as to when the books are set).

for a while i actually thought trc took place in 2010 since the lynches go to church before kavinsky's party, which i assumed meant july fourth was on a sunday, but it's mentioned that they go for a "special" "holiday mass" and not regular mass. either way, 2011 works better with adam being missing on saturday.

anyway, all this to say that i think about timelines too much. thank you for reading if you've made it this far lol

#trc #the raven cycle #the dream thieves

[father-salmon]

writing patterns!!

tagged by @honestlydarkprincess thank you, my bean!!

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

(none of these are buddie so there's your disclaimer lmao)

1. God is a Bit of a Freak - Rated E, Meg Masters/Castiel/Dean Winchester

Honestly, if you ask Meg what she gets up to on a general Saturday evening, the answer isn’t what you’d expect. Yes, she’s single, nearly 30, and has… a semi-normal amount of friends. You’d think she’d be with them or on a date or something.

2. What Happens in Oz... - Rated E, Charlie Bradbury/Dorothy Baum

The way Oz works is that it’s every person for themselves. Charlie is learning this very quickly and sooner than she’d like. The body of someone she and Dorothy once considered an ally is now dead on the floor, courtesy of the latter. Blood seeps out on the tufted carpet of Oz’s version of the Men of Letters bunker. What once was the Bravest Cowardly Lion’s fur is now a stained and stepped-over relic of the past. Charlie suppresses the urge to gag. She glances at Dorothy, whose face is hardened with the stink of betrayal that hangs in the room. The air runs thick with it.

3. Holy Ground - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Cas - One Week Before the Wedding 

Coming back to a place you’d long ago given up on, feels a bit… bittersweet. Everything is nearly exactly as it was 15 years ago; the convenience shop on the corner, the church in the center, the Roadhouse. The only thing that has really changed is the people. It’s more or less the same crowd, only with more wrinkles and bigger bellies. The stores are more weather-worn, too – the paint faded on the signs and windows by the same sun that has chapped skin and dulled lined-dried clothes until the whole town seems washed out and pale.

4. enthusiastic consent - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Dean has a shadow. 

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Everyone has a shadow. 

Dean has two though, he’s sure of it. He’s been sure of it since last week when the debilitating feeling of being watched was too much to bear and now he believes it. Because he’s seen the goddamn stalker ! Albeit, handsome stalker but stalker nonetheless.

5. Bedroom Hymns - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

The Impulse Purchase - 2014

Dean didn’t even think twice about clicking the order button on a value pack of men’s panties. If anyone were to look through his search history, he would vehemently deny it but that’s the perk of having his own computer. 6. close encounter of the fourth kind - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Others

To say Dean was abducted is the understatement of the century. 

His ass was literally taken out of his comfy memory foam mattress, shoved into a sac, and brought to… wherever the fuck this is: this Area 51 looking room, that’s for damn sure. 7. The Red Means I Love You - Rated E, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak

An oak tree marks Claire’s first grave. She found it on a whim, adrenaline rushing through her veins trying to find an appropriate burial spot among the woods just behind campus. She dug feverishly until she couldn’t see the ground above her, paranoia growing higher by the minute. It was only when she scrambled back up and dropped the extremely disfigured body of her mother into the ground and covered it up did she feel the relief. That was the only thing she didn’t prepare for. 

8. Butcher's Cut - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Does Dean Winchester have a clue about what he’s doing?

No.

Is that stopping him?

Also no. 

But opening a butcher/sandwich shop in town with his best friend — neither of them having any experience of running a business — may be one of the more stupid ideas he’s ever had. Not that he’s had any good ones but, here he is. 9. baby, it's cold outside - Rated T, Castiel/Dean Winchester

THUMP! 

“Ow—son of a bitch! ”

Castiel whips his head up from where it’s buried in his book to find the source of the sound. 10. nobody cares this is the day i was born - Rated G, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Two days. That’s all he gets. Two days before his birthday, Lisa shoves a birthday card at his chest and tells him she’s breaking up with him and he’s left there with a crumpled gift and a broken heart. Two days. He’s fine. He can cope. Except it’s his birthday in two days and he had planned to spend it with Lisa and now? Well, he’s blown off every other attempt his friends have made to spend his birthday with him, so it’s definitely too late to ask if he can join in on plans they probably made without him. 

--- no pressure tag list!! @underwater-ninja-13 @bigfootsmom @loserdiaz @giddyupbuck @gaylicense @spotsandsocks @devirnis @monsterrae1 @yelenasbuddie @buckaroosheart @snarkythewoecrow @dicklessthewonderclown @bleuzombie @malicmalic @cactusdragon517 @deancodedcastielenby @songliili

#the pattern is that i just throws these guys in situations #no context #just a situation #tag game #salmon writes fics #ao3 #supernatural #destiel #charlie bradbury #dorothy baum #claire novak #kaia nieves #dean winchester #castiel

[roo-bastmoon]

Remembering Nana today...

Interestingly enough, it was my 93-year-old grandmother who sort of led me to BTS. Today is the second anniversary of her passing, and my rambles about that are under the cut.

So, just to give you a visual: my Nana was a lot like Rose from the Golden Girls but, like, not in any way a ditz. She was a very practical Capricorn, but she looked and spoke a lot like Betty White from that show.

Nana practically raised me. I spent literally every weekend with her, from the day I was born until my parents divorced and we moved away when I was 13. Every Friday, my folks would drop me off at her apartment, and she'd make me homemade mac and cheese for dinner and vanilla ice cream for dessert (I did NOT like to try new things). Then we'd watch Full House, Perfect Strangers, Golden Girls, and Empty Nest on TGIF. After that, it would be bath time and bed.

Fun side note: I was an extremely independent and stubborn only child. So I always insisted on bathing myself. Not wanting me to drown on her watch, Nana would sit in the bathroom with me and read me poetry while I played with my Tub Town toys. But the poetry would always be the most macabre stuff--like The Spider and the Fly, or The Wreck of the Hesperus. I am not saying I was scarred for life by this, but I'm also not saying I'm normal, either.

Anyway, those were our Friday nights. On Saturdays we'd get up at the crack of dawn to go flea marketing with her two younger sisters. She would give me $1 to spend on my "trashy treasures" -- but it was the 80s, so I could make it stretch. After that, we'd all go to a buffet lunch. Then she'd take me in the afternoons to the local library, where I would pick my books for the week.

Another side note: My parents were not big on buying toys, but I could have any books I wanted. As a young kid, I used to take a flashlight and hide in the bathtub at night so I could read past bedtime. I figured I was being super sneaky because they couldn't see the light coming from that room. But we lived in a tiny house with only one bathroom, so of COURSE they knew. Mom told me years later that they thought it was funny I was being rebellious by secretly reading YA novels in the bathroom when I was in elementary school. Nana, of course, let me stay up as late as I wanted to read. I digress.

As the years passed, even when I went out of state and the country for school, or moved across America to take jobs, Nana and I emailed every day, called once a week, kept in constant touch. When I moved back to my home state 13 years ago, I sort of became her caregiver and weekend companion.

This time it was my turn on the weekends to make her food, take her shopping, drive her around, get her books from the bookmobile. She raised me, and then for 10 years, I took care of her.

I loved my Nana. She was funny and soft-hearted and well read, but she grew up *dirt poor* and never got to see the world except through books and the TV, so she was always very humble and a bit shy. She loved me so much--she was the only person in the world who would listen to me drivel on about anything, and still be interested.

At 93-years-old, she died of a sudden heart attack on August 30, 2021. Emergency personnel were with her in her apartment, so she wasn't alone or in pain very long, but I couldn't get to her fast enough to say goodbye. Mom and I identified her later, at the hospital.

I am grateful she had a long life, and didn't suffer, and wasn't alone. But my family is very, very small. Just Nana and Mom and me. And after the whirlwind of taking care of her funeral and packing up her apartment and donating everything, suddenly there was just all this free time--these empty hours I usually filled taking care of Nana.

I just was so lost.

I started trying to read, or quilt, or watch movies. I got into some K dramas for a bit. Nothing really interested me. Then I started watching dance compilations on YouTube before bed.

And one snowy December night, I found a Steezy video where Brian Puspos was reviewing Jimin's dance style. I had no idea what it was. It was like this weird impulse--as if someone moved my finger to hover over and click that video...

You cannot imagine how every nerve-ending woke up. My brain suddenly came online. (I was a semi-pro ballet dancer as a kid, and I knew the absolute second I saw Jimin that he was a master who trained relentlessly--nobody had to point it out to me.)

For the first time in months, I FELT something other than grief.

I watched every single video of him I could. I had no idea who BTS were, didn't know anything about Kpop. But eventually I found more videos, I listened to their songs, and later I discovered Jikook, and I made online accounts and I watched RUN episodes, and I got to go see Yoongi as my first-ever concert, and now I'm making my way through In the Soop and Bon Voyage.

In fact, pretty much every day since I discovered Jimin, I've been thinking about, learning about, and trying to support Jimin and the people Jimin loves.

Jimin and BTS got me through the grief at losing the person I loved most in the world. They saw me through uterine cancer, and the surgeries, and mourning the fact that I can never be a bio mom now. They got me through the medical tests and the chronic fatigue and pain I've had for the last 4 months.

I really love our boys. I may not understand or love everything about them or their company or their industry, but loving someone doesn't mean thinking of them as demi-gods; it means being loyal even as they grow past any flaws.

To be honest, I feel like I owe Jimin my life, in a way. I was in a really, really dark place a year and a half ago. Jimin was the only joy, the only reason to keep going (besides my mom and kitties, of course).

Now I own every digital release BTS has put out--the whole discography, even the skits. I try to vote on all the apps whenever I can, and stream on premium family bundle accounts for Spotify, YouTube, and Pandora; I also do free trials for Tidal and Qobuz. II've never done any of this stuff before, never been a fan of any musicians, but I really, truly do try to return the favor.

It's a bit hyperbolic to say they "saved me" because lots of people cope with grief and illness and loneliness and it doesn't mean they just throw in the towel.

But BTS helped me stop surviving, and made me want to really live.

Plus, even when I'm too sick to go out or call up my friends, I can always get on my phone and come here, to chat with my fandom friends. I don't know most of their real names or faces or anything about their real lives, but we all love BTS; we all talk about and work together for BTS.

Nana would have loved that. (She also would have let me talk her ear off every day about Jimin and Jikook and the Tannies because that was her love language.)

Is BTS a replacement for real, genuine human interaction? No. Of course not. It is, at the end of the day, a band. Not a life.

But it also feels like getting to know 7 people I'd be honored to be friends with, if we ever met. People I want to support so they can achieve all their dreams--because they always pay it forward, too.

I sometimes wonder if Nana guided my hand to click on that video that day. Maybe she was looking down at me and thought "Ah, this will be good for her. This will be healing."

Probably not, but still, I'd like to think that. I'd like to think it was Nana who led me to the Magic Shop.

I miss her. I love her. I still can hear her voice in my head every day.

But I'm gonna be okay. (The future's gonna be okay.)

There's still so much to look forward to and work to be done. Fighting!