#i looked at my planning doc again and WOW some of the shit i wrote in there… sheesh

[cinnaminsvga]

BRO ARE YOU WRITING A NOVEL????

I MEAN TECHNICALLY YES??? not like i have any time to work on it, but i do have an outline and some scenes written (not even chronologically—i just have some random parts that kinda came out of nowhere and idek if i’m gonna include them or not) but yeah it’s a slow process,,,

i honestly highly doubt i’ll ever get to finish it but it’s there! in my drafts! gathering cobwebs and wishing for an ending it can’t have! to my ocs, mara and jodi… i’m sorry for abandoning you 🥲

#i looked at my planning doc again and WOW some of the shit i wrote in there… sheesh #u can tell i was depressed outta my mind when i wrote some of the parts LMAO #notanicewriter #answered

[dykefoosh]

A Year Later Transcript: 8/3/21

Here it all is on a google doc if that is easier to read!

W: “I heard there was a special place.. Where men could go and emancipate.. The brutality and the tyranny of their rulers…” Do you know that one Ranboo?

R: I have I have I have, I’ve heard that one a few times, I had a friend that sings that one quite a lot.

W: Yeah it's great, I- I personally, I am a big big fan of the song and not just because I wrote it, I know, I know they saw aww yeah they say you are your own worst critic, but I mean, I think it's good. Do you know what it's based on?

R: Mhm mhm

W: Obviously it's based on hallelujah, but the thing is Ranboo, right is the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing hallelujah to the plants around the thing... the caravan! Do you remember the caravan? You have heard of the caravan right?

R: Yeah, yeah I’ve heard of it and seen the re-creation of it at the museum, but that's really it.

W: Actually can we go see it? Let's go see it quickly!

R: Yeah, sure.

W: So, so, he used to plant the stuff around the caravan, and it made it grow better, he hehe used to ha, my man Tommy, what is this? This is new.. I won’t ask questions…

R: I- Someone planted a lot of beats here and I don’t know why

W: OH, okay I quite like it, it looks really nice, it looks nicer than the target that used to be here. Um

R: Yeah

W: So my man Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better um and that was the song he used to sing so I thought what a better way to honor tommy, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation then to name the song after him and base the song after his little muse. Tommy is all of our muse really, I'd say. So here's the museum.

R: Yeah, Yeah

W: I haven't been to the museum, wait las- that's where I met you Ranboo right?

R: Oh yeah yeah, that's where you saw me next to the um poster of myself… I don't know why that's still up, I kinda put that there and it preceded to stay there, is it still set up? Oh, oh no.

W: It’s not still up anymore it was here, it was right here on this wall. I quite liked it, but I guess not enough for it to be history though.

R: I’m not historical yet apparently.

W: So yeah in here, in here where the declaration of independence would sit on the wall here, it was actually quite, quite a nice van, not quite as nice as yours, I quite liked what you were doing with yours. Have you been working on it since I’ve been gone?

R: Yeah I’ve been working on it. I added a nice little table outside and did some pathways and appropriately themed flowers.

W: Thats nice

R: Yeah!

W: Let's go to Lmanburg or what was lmanburg, last time I saw it was a big glass thing.

R: Yeah I think it goes by Lmanhole now apparently.

W: Ahh ehh, that's kind of rude, it's kind of rude to Lmanburgs history you know?

R: mhm

W: It’s called Lmanburg, it's called Lmanburg. NOT Manberg NOT Lcrater or whatever, Lmanhole I don’t care it's now Lmanburg it's always Lmanburg. It’s just how it goes.

R: Okay

W: Yeah so that's why the song exists as it is. Oh there's no glass.

R: Yeah! Yeah I mean it seems to have changed a little bit.

W: YOOOO I actually didn’t know this was here

R: Yeah! It’s even got the flag down there at the bottom

W: It’s got the flag man! Can we go down and see the flag? Cmon Cmon lets go

R: Yeah yeah wait you alright?

W: I’m like a lemming I don’t care I’m just gonna jump

R: Oh well okay… careful!

W: Look at this dude!

R: Yeahh

W: Oh wow I really went down to bedrock didn't I? Holy Shit.. I did a number on this place. This is amazing!! Ahhh This is what it deserved, not the glass bullshit, this is what it needed, this like beautiful overgrowing, it feels like it happened, it doesn't feel like a monument, it feels like nature has claimed it back,

R: The book has kind of closed in that sense

W: Yeah.. we’ve got, look they have got they rebuilt the lake man! And this used to be a real river about here into Lmanburg- wait, Ranboo do you see that is that Tubbo?

R: Yeah… that's Tubbo

W: Aye Tubbo!

T: “I heard there was a special place where men could go and emancipate…”

W: Tubbo?

T: “ the tyranny” - oh?

W: Tubbo!

T: Hello?

W: Haha! You’ve came, I- I havent seen you dude in FUCKING ages! Tubbo, are you singing the song?

T: Yeah… Yeahhh?

W: Are you? Are you singing the thing?

T: Yeah hello?

W: Hold on I’m coming im coming im coming man

T: Where are you?

W: Hold on, I'm coming around, here I come, Tubbo man! I haven't seen you in ages!

T: H-H..Hello.. Wilbur..

W: I’m coming around man!

T: Yeah aha…

W: Bro! Its-

T: Weird seeing you here.

W: What in Lmanburg? That seems like the most normal place to see me.

T: Uhh yeah I suppose so

W: Well I- dude I don’t even know what to say to you man, it's like looking in a little mirror, you are even still wearing my suit still?

T: Yeahh

W: How long have you been wearing that?

T: Oh I just put it on for today, I just for it's been a year now…

W: Well you look good in it! Ranboo have you met Tubbo?

R: Yeah! Well I’ve I’ve met him, I mean we’ve um… been around yeah

W: Well Tubbo I’m really happy to see you man, dude

T: Ah, well thank you.

W: Do you even know what happened? Since,

T: What do you mean what's happened?

W: I saw you briefly man when I was resurrected, I remember you SUPER SUPER briefly but this is the first time we have actually gotten to speak, I- I will admit I was a little overwhelmed during that whole thing. I was running across the glass, thank god it's gone, this is far more adpt, but I was running across the glass, I’m sorry I wasn't you know, entirely on the same page, but I promise you I’ve calmed down I’m all settled in, I understand what's changed, what's happened whos new, whos old whos still about who uh…. Who trusts me and stuff

T: Did they fill you in on the story? Like what happened here after you died?

W: Yeah, they did, I’m gonna be honest with you it's not a pretty one, I kind of left a bit of a ripple. If I was a rock, dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock

T: You- yeah’

W: And I can’t say I’m not- I’m not flattered. I mean I am flattered, I’m not TOO upset about it, I like being the big ripple, but more than anything, I want to say super simple man. I want to say. I want to say I’m sorry

T: Awe

W: For one thing mainly, I’ve been thinking about this for years, LITERAL years. I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole,

T: Well I mean-

W: and making you president of a crater and i'm sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am

T: I mean this wasnt all you Wilbur….

W: We’ll get to that, do you? Do you forgive me?

T: Yeah, I do forgive you

W: Man, ahhh my little treasury, secretary treasury, do you remember that?

T: Yeah yeah I remember that. Secretary to treasury

W: Ranboo he was the secretary to treasury and then he was president

R: Yeah

W: And then he was president

T: Yeah I’m pretty sure the treasury was like somewhere there.

W: So what were you saying about me not being the one there who blew it up?

T: Well I mean you definitely blew it up. I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

W: Wait, so you rebuilt it? How long -how long did it stand before this happened?

T: Yeah so, me, and mainly ghostbur honestly like

W: ….ghostbur….

T: He- put so much effort into making it right again.

W: Is he this obsidian crap I take it and these uh? Fucking lanterns

T: You know dream?

W: Yeah I know Dream- I love him. Dream’s Dreams

T: Oh..

W: Dreams probably my favorite person, sorry Ranboo i mean uh no contest here, Dreams probably my favorite person he saved me

T: Oh.. Oh..

W: He saved me he brought me back to life

T: Well um yeah I mean he was powerful I guess but um Techno and Philza yeah um

W: Techno and Phil blew this up?

T: They built this big obsidian contraption overnight… I couldn’t even see it coming. And they rained TNT for days.

W: nhh

R: Yeah…

W: And that's.. Wait hold on, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil blow up Lmanburg? Didn’t they live here? I mean I don’t know about Techno…

T: Techno and Phil, they hated the government, it was partially my fault as well…

W: But you didn’t blow it up

T: No, I didn't. I never wished for anything to happen like this.

W: So it was just Techno and Phil?

T: Y-y yes..

W: Sorry that's kind of just hit my not the blowing up part- You know I’ve done that,

T: Yeah

W: I’m not shaken up about that. I’m shaken up about man, is that, you rebuilt this! After I was gone

T: I can’t take all the credit obviously but there was a big effort

W: That fucking ghost- who cares man YOU rebuilt this! Bro, you

T: Yeah I suppose

W: MY fucking grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave, screw a grave I built something that you loved that YOU wanted to preserve… thats,

T: Yeah, I really honestly…

W: Tubbo that's worth more to me than a grave. That's worth more to me than this shrine. That's worth more to me then- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I have ever been given, this knowledge that people actually cared enough, that you cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

T: Ahh, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: You… haha, sorry, aww man, Tubbo thank you.

T: It’s alright, I just feel lost without Lmanburg. All my core beliefs.. Everything died with it.

W: You feel lost without Lmanburg

T: I have no purpose.. Anymore.

W: I guess that's where anarchy fails… Tubbo, I have a little, a little thing coming. Not big, nothing much yet, ehh, it's not a big deal you know, it's a little burger van at the moment but I got plans, big plans. Tubbo it's called paradise

T: Paradise.

W: Yeah, yeah will, would you like to come join me in paradise? Literally?

T: Hmmmm, Id, I’m not sure Wilbur, I’m not sure I trust you man. In order to follow someone I need to trust them.

W: Wait… wait- but I thought you forgave me!

T: Yeah Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people change but, I don’t trust you yet Wilbur.

W: Okay… Taboo. I literally was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn't long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you but thirteen years Tubbo… Thirteen years of my life. I am old! Look at me! I’m not the same young man you knew. I-I’ve been through it and in those years, I’ve learned Tubbo, i wasn't just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “oooh this is nice ohhh i'm in darkness right now” you know I was thinking. I relived that explosion in my head so many times man, and I get that you don’t trust me, I do but like man! Look at me bro, I’m not gonna do it again, I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna you know… I know you, you had the festival with Technoblade, I never spoke properly to you about this.

T: mm

W: I could have saved you…

T: But you didn’t

W: I- Tubbo… I’m reaching out to you man, I’m on my knees.. I, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry and I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesnt give up what I did to you and it doesnt give up how I failed you as a friend, you know eh, fuck being as a coworker but just you know anything… Ranboo you might know or have known all of this and I’m really sorry if this was your first of hearing I can explain later on but like..

R: Alright………

W: Tubbo, man, I’m, I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate you don’t trust me. I do.

T: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to, but I just, I just can’t.

W: Tubbo… I really appreciate it, and I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it and I am gonna go out and prove to you I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.

T: Okay…

W: I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself and you'll.. Youll

T: Do you know I still have dreams right? Of the explosion… And, and of the fireworks. And all of it. I vividly see all of it every day. It HURTS. It hurts Wilbur a lot.

W: I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo Tubbo, please, I know…. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I- arhh It feels like sorry is such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna make something. I'm gonna make something of this and I’m gonna…

Uhhhh

Tubbo do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not trying to say - I’ve got your forgiveness, but I know I need to earn your trust but man… you're so strong man, genuinely. Just the fact you proved to me that just there that you have these memories and these nightmares, you still found it in your heart to forgive me, that's... You’re a fucking champion man. You’re a hero.

Look I get you don’t want to join me in paradise. We won’t talk about that anymore but, cmon, at least come and see, come and at least see what me and Ranboo have been doing! Look I don’t know- Ranboo are you? Are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like good friends?

R: Yeah, yeah I’d say so.

W: Then why don't you and him come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on! Lets go lets go!

T: I think.. I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m fine, just to stay here.

W: No, no man, no worries. Look at me bro look at me bro! Chin up! Look, lucky rabbit's foot!

T: Okay…

W: Tommy gave it to me

T: Lucky Rabbit's foot…

W: Lucky Rabbit's foot man, chin up. Ranboo, I’ll, you can come, it's cool.

R: I will, I will. Do you need me to stay here?

T: No.. *sniffles* I’d like to be left alone please

R: Oh… you sure? I mean.. I can stay…

T: Yes. I’m fine

R:You sure? Okay...

W: Ranboo! Let's go man.

R: Yep! Lets- lets go

W: Cya tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

T: Uhuh

W: Comeon Ranboo

R: Alright

W: Ah man! It’s its I mean I I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it's hard, I’ve -

R: It is, it is

W: It's difficult man and I’ve been you know it's gonna get better and it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone… Do you know who the original Lmanburg group were? Do you know who we were?

R: Ah, uhh I think most of them yeah, I think it was you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well

W: Fundy was after, Fundy was a bit after we got independence

R: mhm yeah I don’t really. I don’t really know much of lmanburg history

W: That’s alright you’ve got it down, it's correct. It’s that group and we um yeah we fought against Dream and we managed to succeed and we created a life process. Ranboo I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone, I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh people to use it against me is the main problem. I didn’t even tell Tommy. I- I lied to Tommy I’m gonna be honest. I’ll tell him soon

R: Yeah

W: I’ll tell him I lied to him because I feel- it kind of eats away at me. I kind of- I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about Lmanburg and that it was actually a tool for me to get and gain power and stuff but it's not true. Lmanburg was really important to me and it is still to this day. I want it, I want its history to live on, not as a stain caused by me because I basically took a bit shit on the history books. I wanna, I wanna make it feel like it was you know something that happened and it was a great thing. Think of the good times, the years and years well not years but you know the time of safety the time of fun, prosperity! We built parks, we built you know, no taxes, big walls, we had democracy! All be a slightly disjointed version of it but you know, that's how people should remember Lmanburg, that's what people think of when they think of our nation you know? And that's, and Tubbos the last connection we really have, I mean he, he said it himself, he's kind of you know… he's got nothing without it. I’ve heard of what Tommy, Tommys you know moved on and Jacks moved on and Niki’s moved on and everyones moved on at least partially… but Tubbo man, he's still……

R: Yeah he's still very strung up about it even though it's been awhile… He, he distracts himself with projects and everything which is nice but, you

W: Heh, projects

R: I mean yeah fortifications as well

W: I think he's gonna be alright

R: I hope so

W: I’m looking out for him. Anyway I want to say thank you Ranboo for you know trusting me this quick, I mean you barely know me

R: I mean, yeah

W: You barely have known me very long and you just know you’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I- you know I don’t I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man. T-Tommy’s great and all he's here and all but I don't wanna string him along too much because hes- I, when I look at him, when I look at him and he's helping me out and building things with me, I - I see the same eyes that looked at me when… when… there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia I wasn't a very well man, and I can just see Tommy from that day…

oH!! Ranboo! This looks great man!

R: Yeah yea, I’ve made a couple of um changes to it. Added some stuff to it

W: Like I was saying though, I appreciate it, I really appreciate it.

R: Yeahh, yeah of course! Of course

W: May I ask, I know I’ve already asked this before but why do you trust me so fast? What's the…?

R: I mean I like to normally see the good in people and everything.

W: I know we’ve gone through that and you’ve made me cry just

R: Yeahhh, sorry about that, but I- I think the reason I think I know what it's like to have no one hurt or at least feel like no one trusts you.

W: Mhm

R: Um, and I- I’ve realised that if no one is with you, then how can anyone really know when you’ve redeemed yourself. So that's why I’m here

W: You wanna see the fireworks?

R: Well maybe not the fireworks but, I mean at least

W: Ceremonial

R: At least when you change er redeem yourself I think it- it's good to have someone there and it's not nice to be alone all the time so…

W: My boy! Ranboo, I knew

R: Yeah!

W: I knew I could trust you. We got the exact same mindset I’m thinking of ahh Ranboo I love what you have done with the burger van

R: Thank you, I’m glad you like it

W: I think this is going to be a beginning of a beautiful partnership,

R: Yeah!

W:beautiful friendship, and maybe when Tubbo comes we can you know have a big party and all get to know each other a bit better.

R: Yeah I can, I can talk with him I think and maybe get him to uh join hopefully

W: Yeah, don’t pressure him. He doesn't have to join, he just needs to come. I just want him to come and see our patented burgers!

R: Yeah!

W: Our burgers, our burger NFTS he needs to come and try them! Ranboo. Thank you man

R: You’re welcome, I’m glad that I could help out a little bit at least.

W: You’re a brilliant man and I'm going to go now a happy man.

R: That's good, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: Thank you Ranboo. Buh Bye. Ah, I love that guy bro!

#dsmp transcript #transcript #tubbo #ranboo #wilbur soot #lmanburg #c!tubbo #c!ranboo #c!wilbur #las nevadas #paradise

[physicalturian]

[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 5

[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 6269 Archive of our own

Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Aftercare / Awkwardness … If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask

– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

You: Sup doc, got home safely?

[You sent an attachment]

I chuckled for a second, making myself laugh at the picture of the crazy scientist from Back to the Future I had sent. Then when I looked at it more than five seconds, I just regretted it. “I should have flirted. I should have asked him if he was free soon. But I did that. Wow.” Gathering my stuff, I was expecting him to be asleep but received an answer in no time.

 Trafalgar Law 😷: I’ll admit it’s creative real first text. But don’t send me that shit again, I’m not an old man.

You: Hey, it’s hilarious. You mad because you asked me to call you doc and now you regret it.

Trafalgar Law 😷: I just hope you won’t see that in your head when you’ll think of me, it can easily become a turn off, I think.

You: Damn, what if I’m into older men?

Trafalgar Law 😷: Lucky for you I’m older, then. Why are you still awake?

Trafalgar Law 😷: You should sleep, it’s late and you seemed tensed the entire evening.

You: You’re worried about me? How cute, I thought you were just looking to dick me down.

You: But I’m going to sleep soon, don’t worry hot stuff, I was just showering before bed.

You: Who knows, maybe I’ll dream of you 😉

 I read my message over, and over and as I saw him type and stop a few times I was quick to send another one.

 You: Yeah, ignore that. I’m tired, I’m not pushy promised. But you should sleep too, beauty sleep and all.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Depending on the kind of dreams you’re having, I’ll gladly join you.

Trafalgar Law 😷: You’re cute. I’ll sleep in a few. I still have some things to do, I’ll be sure to send you a text in the morning to ask you what you dreamed of.

You: Right, bold of you to assume I remember my dream. And that I’d share them with you.

You: But please go to bed, it’s getting super late.

[Trafalgar Law 😷sent an attachment]

Trafalgar Law 😷: I’m in bed, don’t worry.

 It was stupid, but I did laugh. He was sitting against his pillows, the simple black bed panel behind him. His hair was a lot messier than usual, but he did not look sleepy one bit. And he was still wearing his dress shirt, which clearly was in no way a pajama.

 You: Funny. You’re a funny guy Trafalgar Law, wow. You’re lucky you’re hot

You: You’re still fully dressed, that’s not going to sleep to me.

Trafalgar Law 😷: If you want to see me naked so bad, you have to work for it.

Trafalgar Law 😷: I did say I’d enjoy you on your knees, it seems like a good place to start. But, all in due time, right?

 Chuckling at his text, I bid him a good night without replying to his innuendo which was more than an innuendo, really. Hopefully, an unspoken promise of a goodtime. I left the bathroom feeling a bit funny inside and put the toy away before sitting back on the bed. I was wearing a large shirt so that I could show my legs if the HandSurgeon asked and sat with my legs crossed on the bed before typing.

 Edelweiss: Back!

HandSurgeon: Your lap is pretty red; how does it feel?

Edelweiss: it’s alright, a bit sore but I like it, it reminds me of yeah… the discipline so yeah, it’s ok

HandSurgeon: Cute, you enjoyed it quite a lot. Maybe you could take more next time if you feel like it.

HandSurgeon: But it’d mean you’d have disobeyed, which you won’t do. Correct?

Edelweiss: yes, I won’t. Sorry…

HandSurgeon: It’s alright, doll.

HandSurgeon: Is there something you enjoyed more this session? Or did not at all?

 Trying to remember the things he had said during the session, I was going to tell him that everything was good until I remembered that small thing he said, that I did not particularly enjoy. I didn’t know if he was going to tell me to just get on with it and try to enjoy it or anything but trusting he wouldn’t get mad I wrote down.

 Edelweiss: I really enjoyed your voice… that’s for sure but I didn’t enjoy being called a bitch in heat?

Edelweiss: it was alright right now though, but I don’t know, I didn’t vibe.

Edelweiss: sorry if you’re more of a degrader than praiser

HandSurgeon: I am sorry, I am indeed more used to be a bit rougher with my partner. I’ll be more careful next time, don’t hesitate to tell me if you don’t like something I do.

HandSurgeon: This is an exchange, we’re both in to enjoy it and have fun. And while I usually degrade, I am very much enjoying telling you how good you are. Even more so seeing how well you react.

HandSurgeon: You did good telling me your color, very good.

HandSurgeon: I believe edging was not in your list, but how did you enjoy it?

Edelweiss: soooo frustrating! And embarrassing to beg alright? But in a good way I guess… a very good way

 Pondering a bit more, I was curious. If we were giving feedbacks and asking questions, I could give it a go.

 Edelweiss: were you annoyed? That I touched myself.

HandSurgeon: Yes. I was. If I had you next to me, I would have brought you to my bed. I would have had you kneeling in the center, with that egg still inside you. The had you stripped down naked and would have looked at you. If you had moved, I’d strike you down. Simple.

HandSurgeon: You’d be begging in no time, really.

Edelweiss: it does sound kinda interesting though

Edelweiss: I’d definitely be up to it if you’d enjoy it

HandSurgeon: I’m sure you’d take it like very well, adding a blindfold to the mix would be even better.

HandSurgeon: You wouldn’t know when I’d strike. Jumping on the bed at the littlest touch. Goosebumps all over that pretty body of yours.

HandSurgeon: Running the tip of my whip over your skin. Barely grazing it. Then gripping the back of your neck and sliding my fingers through your hair. Pulling your head back to see that needy face of yours.

 I wanted to read more of him, see what else he’d do to me. I wanted to do something again. While my sex was sore, I could also feel the throbbing coming back and fuck was I ready to ask him if he had time to do it again. My body must have been moving on the screen, since I saw the new message from the dom.

 HandSurgeon: Stop fidgeting. There won’t be another session tonight, doll. I have to finish working, and you…

HandSurgeon: Well, you need to eat something and drink some water. Go get some food. We can hang up if you want, or you can leave the camera on. I would not mind the little motivation of seeing my girl on the screen.

Edelweiss: I won’t stay long, I have classes tomorrow. Lemme grab some food, I’ll be right there!

Edelweiss: but admit it, you just want to make sure I eat and drink 👀

HandSurgeon: I do indeed. Now, go.

 We then spent around 20 minutes on the call. I stayed with my camera on, still making sure he could not see my face, and ate up. He would reply a bit more slowly than during our session, since he was working, but when he did it was a lot lighter than usual. We talked of our lives, previous partners, preferences but it quickly turned to other topics. TV shows we enjoyed or had in common, hobbies, pets.

 I learnt he liked to sketch, mostly people, he never did art school and never wanted to but loved the human anatomy. He said he found it fascinating. I felt flattered when he suggested we find some free time so that he could draw me. I told him I’d think about it, then we changed topics but kept off the more personal ones, such as family, school and city. The less we knew, the better. It was weird, getting to know him after I had let him do as he pleased with me. But doing so made it more interesting for some reason.

 I did not feel anything much for the man, but I enjoyed his company a lot. I had no plan of meeting him at all, and if I ever found someone, I’d probably stop talking to him, which is something we both agreed on. This was just to get off, this was simply to both find that pleasure of having the power dynamic in play. It was interesting, and I never thought I’d be doing this but here I was, having hung up on a stranger I should call my dom. Here I was, exhausted after masturbating for him. Following each of his instruction.

 Having had a taste of that side I had never ventured on, I realized I liked it a lot and I could see myself doing it more from time to time. Maybe not all the time, but in bed it was so intriguing.

 I surprised myself as I laid under my covers, slowly drifting to sleep, when a thought crossed my mind, I wonder if Law would do that… I shook the thought away, but it came back just as strong, I was curious. He would look at me with the same look he gave me all night, intrigued and yet clearly expecting all those reactions of me. Knowing what he was doing, knowing the effect he had on me. Whatever I’d say, he wouldn’t be surprised, as if he could read me. He’d ask me those same questions he did that night, trying to get me riled up and I would let him. Would I imagine him as that man from online?

 Would I secretly be hoping he would be that good? Would I let him do as he pleased with me? Was I even going to go on a date with him? This last question had an answer already, we both hardly had any free time. I don’t believe we had the same schedule either, it’d be too hard. But I’d entertain the idea, it was fun. I was slightly excited if it did happen, after all he was attractive. And I could use the kind of fun he was suggesting, considering all the stress we must both be under.

 Turning in bed, I pulled my phone from under my pillow and texted Law.

 You: You better be asleep old doc, because I am hitting the sac. And ignoring your last text at the same time.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Shall I take that as a “no”?

You: Definitely not, but I want to know if your personality is as hot as your face, first.

You: For scientific purposes

Trafalgar Law 😷: Luckily, I did pretty well in sciences. I’ll help with your research then.

You: That means I can call you partner? Pardner 🤠 in research of a fun time

Trafalgar Law 😷: Partner of fun, if you want. Pardner, no.

You: Dagnabbit, sad cowboy noise.

Trafalgar Law 😷: I think you need sleep, partner.

You: I definitely do, good night pardner. You should sleep too, you looked fucking tired tonight.

[Trafalgar Law 😷 sent an attachment]

You: it’s pitch black?

Trafalgar Law 😷: Because I’m trying to sleep, and you keep messaging me.

You: no one’s forcing you to answer 😏 but good night pardner

Trafalgar Law 😷: Good night

 I did fall asleep soon after. It was a miracle I managed to keep the conversation that long considering how tired I was and yet I was able to exchange, albeit embarrassingly, with the hot guy. I did not know why I had sent him a message- who am I kidding I know why I did that. Not only was I in that post-orgasm daze but also, this little voice in my head kept considering him as a potential something.

 That something was yet to be determined, booty call? Romantic partner? Sex friend? I did not know yet, the only way to find out was that date. And perhaps, if it went well enough, the after-date part. Which I was excited about, maybe more than the date part.

 This time I did not dream of the HandSurgeon, I did however have a dream about Trafalgar Law. It was not as hot as the one I had the night before… But it was something…

 In that dream, I had called him out of boredom while working on some stuff, and he had picked up mildly annoyed. But even though he was annoyed, he kept me on the line while making his way to his office and closed the door behind him.

 Then the mood changed, the ambiance too, the lights got slightly darker and suddenly I found myself in his office. He was leaning on his desk, arms crossed across his chest and seemingly expectant. I saw myself approach him with determination, I was but a spectator to that whole scene. I stopped right in front of him and let him grab my hands before he pulled them behind his back and turned me around so that I was now the one against the desk.

 The view changed and I could see him from up close now, he was looking down at me with a smug smile. I saw his lips moving but could not comprehend what he was saying. His tattooed hand travelled to my neck, gently brushing his thumb over it before grabbing my jaw gently. He spoke again and while I did not know what he said, I felt nervous, and slightly afraid.

 I tried to ask him to repeat, and maybe I did but I could not hear myself. He leaned forward and let his other hand graze the skin under my shirt before whispering. “Edelweiss… my sweet and pretty toy. So good for me.” I let my head fall back in pleasure from his touches but the constant feeling of confusion and fear only grew. I tried to understand why I was feeling like that, among the joy I felt upon hearing his word. Then it clicked.

 He doesn’t know about Edelweiss- he’s not that man, he shouldn’t know.

 Now I’m in my bed. Looking at a screen, I can see someone on that screen, but I can’t see it really. Then I understand who it is, HandSurgeon, but this time it’s Trafalgar Law. “You want us to be the same.”

 “You wish I was real, you’re so desperate for this to happen with me, with him, we’re the same to you, Edelweiss. You should think, wake up, realize that you’re making a mistake, wake up, we can’t be the same, wake up, you just want it so bad-“

 “Wake up!” I was startled awake by Nami, who was looking at me angrily, already fully dressed. “Jesus, did last night tire you that bad?” How could she know what I had done last night? She wasn’t even home- Trying to come up with anything, I was too sleepy to be embarrassed, then she spoke and cleared my mind. “You know, if I had known socializing with Traffy would tired you that much, I would have brought him over a lot sooner. Maybe you’d finally catch some real sleep.” She explained as she kept her gaze on my, probably, sleep-marks adorned face.

 Sighing, she pulled the covers off my form without a second thoughts when I was unresponsive to her words. “This time you have more than 5 minutes to get ready but move your ass or I’ll leave you there. Come on, hurry.”  She stopped by the door and made a compassionate face, “By the way, don’t worry, he exhausts me too. It’s the smug face and the condescending attitude that just-“ she made a sounds with her tongue against her teeth, “it ticks me off, you know?” She was gone right after.

 Looking at the doorway longer than I wanted to, I started drifting off to sleep when I was startled awake once more. My phone was ringing, and I was very much aware it was not my alarm. Stretching my arm to the bed table, I grabbed my phone and was surprised when I read the screen and saw it was Trafalgar Law. I picked up in confusion, “What do you want?” With the sleepiness and the confusion, my tone ended up being a bit more aggressive than I expected.

 “How about you start with good morning?” I heard him chuckle, he was probably proud of that too. Rolling my eyes, I let my head fall back on the pillow and spoke again, “Good morning, do you need something?” I sighed and pulled my covers back on my form, hearing the blinker of his car in the background I guessed he was driving and was paying more attention to the road.

 “Good morning, did I perhaps wake you up?” He asked rhetorically but I could hear the smile on his lips. All I did was hum in return, still waiting for the reason he called me. “I’m free this Thursday, how does it sound for those… research?” He seemed reticent saying it, probably rolling his eyes at how stupid it sounded. Laughing in my throat in return, it was not charming but the way he said it made it too funny for my dazed state. “Too shy to call it a date? I need to check my schedule; I don’t know if I’m free.” Thinking he’d hang up, I instead heard him talk to someone before talking to me again.

 “Then go ahead and check, I’ll wait.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and rummaged through something while I checked on my phone, mumbling. “Can’t you let a girl sleep? Don’t you have a work to get to?” I opened the calendar but kept grumbling while doing so, “You’re lucky I’m not hanging up to go back to sleep.” While checking my schedule, I double checked if there was a time I could be free on Thursday and heard Law scoff.

 He huffed a laugh, “I think you’d have hung up by now if you did not want to talk to me, I don’t think it’s luck, but interest.” Then a sigh as he got a bit more serious, “Just answer the question, I have to get going.”

 Scoffing, I brought the phone back to my ear, “You’re just a pretty face for now, Doc. Don’t bet on interest just yet. Now, I’m free around 2 pm that day, if that’s cool with you. But add like half an hour or so, it gives me time to get back home.”

 “Give me the address of your campus, I’ll come and get you there.” I heard the sound of the car door being slammed closed in the background, and the rustle of a bag. “I’m not about to refuse a car ride, it’s a bit odd but thank you!” I quickly sat up, suddenly feeling excited for my plans on Thursday. “Don’t expect me to be dressed all chic though, if I have classes in the morning, it’ll be comfortable and only slightly fashion.” I said lightly as I made my way to my wardrobe to start getting dressed for the day.

 “Give me a moment.” I heard the phone being moved a bit, a few muffled voices greeting the man, footsteps echoing on the ground accompanied by the hubbub of phones ringing, beeping sounds and people talking. While waiting, I was able to get dressed and go back to my desk to prepare my stuff. After a few minutes, I finally heard him. “You were talking about your clothes, to be honest as long as it’s easy to remove, we’re good.” He said smoothly, I could hear the smirk, the smugness in his voice.

 I simply looked at the phone with surprise and pleasantness. That was interesting to say the least, and I was enjoying it. “You’re not saying anything, I’m assuming you agree. Good, then I’ll see you on Thursday? Don’t be afraid to send me pictures if you’re curious about what clothes to wear, I’d gladly help you pick.” I had to stand my ground, he was too smooth. Too much, too flirty, too… familiar…?

 “Just for that, I’ll wear the most intricate clothes I have. Make it worth your while, you know?” While his laugh was beautiful, it was also condescending. I kept having mixt feelings about the man. “Well, if I am in a hurry, know that I am very skilled with sharp tools, and I’d have no shame in tearing your pretty clothes apart.” The sound of the creaking chair in the background made me think he was probably leaning back on his chair. A quick thought crossed my mind, of going up to him and sitting on his lap and seeing what he’d do, but I shoved that thought away.

 Instead, I huffed in response and threw my bag over my shoulder. I tried to come up with a witty reply, making lame sounds with my mouth, but I had no matching energy. Even less this early in the morning. “Alright, sure, you win. I was not going to wear anything intricate anyway, even I’m too lazy for that. Casual it is, so don’t go looking all professional on me, please. I’ll feel off.”

 “Put it on my desk, I’ll be there in a few- it’s an important call, I’m sure he can wait five more minutes… He doesn’t have a choice, tell him to wait… Intern or not you can tell him to wait, how else do you expect to be taken seriously? …  Well, tell him I am the one who said that, then, Tony... Right, now go- And close the door behind.” I felt bad eavesdropping like that, it wasn’t a conversation I was meant to hear but it did not seem like any important information had been shared either. Except the fact that he said this was an important call when it clearly was not. It sent pride to my chest.

 Walking to the kitchen, I made a motion with my index to my lips to Robin and Nami when they started talking a bit too loud. I pointed at the phone, then wiggled my fingers before drawing an invisible circle on the back of my hand. I tried very hard to make them understand it was Law, but they seemed confused. Instead, I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear and spelled Law with both of my hands. This time they understood, I knew it from the huge grin on their face.

 “We got interrupted, sorry about that. If you feel intimated by a professional look, I guess we’ll have to drop by my place before going on that date. Do tell me if you’d rather I keep the medical coat-“ Cutting him off, I needed to set things straight. “Hey, I never said that was my cup of tea, okay? And I’m not intimidated, I’m sure you’re rocking the look- “ I never sighed more loudly than at this very moment when Nami snatched the phone from my hand, and said, “Alright asshole, time’s up, you’ve had time to work your charm… no I’m not doing that”

 Robin butted in next to the microphone and said, “She’s all flustered, Traffy, good work!” I went to grab it back from the ginger’s hands but the stepped back and exchanged a few words with Law before handing me my phone back with a bright smile. Bringing it back to my ear, I rushed back to the corridor to avoid them eavesdropping more than they did in the kitchen.

 “Sorry about them- for your outfit, wear whatever you want. I truly have no say in what you’re going to wear, plus you’ll look hot with whatever you pick so, it’s a win-win.” I quickly said, earning a laugh from the man on the other side. “I’d love to see your face right now, Robin did say you were flustered. Guess we’ll have to wait until Thursday.” He hummed, his tone having some finality to it. I knew it was my cue to hang up.

 “I wasn’t flustered, I- at best embarrassed- no wait that sounds worst doesn’t it? Anyway, see you on Thursday! Have fun at work, bye.” I waited until he bid me goodbye before hanging up. As I put my phone away, I leaned against the wall and sighed, letting my head hit the wall. “Are you okay?” Robin’s soft voice reached my ears, she was making her way towards me with a slight smile. Probably feeling a bit bad for going along Nami’s childish attitude only moments ago.

 Humming, I gave her a nod. But the words that followed were not matching the actions. “He’s like, very hot. And I really want to fuck him, right? But he’s also pretty funny, and good at flirting?”

Squinting her eyes, Robin asked, “Is that a question… or?”

“No, no, it’s facts and it confuses me! I was ready to just, hook up, but he could be more- I don’t know maybe I’m desperate.” I simply shrugged, leaving a silence between the black-haired woman and me.

 Looking up at her, she seemed to be thinking. Then she smiled, she was always the one with good advice but also a helpless romantic. “It’s a good thing isn’t it? You don’t need to worry too much, that date of yours will help you see if you’re really interested in him or not! If not, you’ll have great sex- if yes, you’ll still have great sex, and another date.” I groaned in reply, running a hand through my hair before giving her a short nod.

 “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll just- live my life until then, I have other things to do than think of a man. By the way are you home tonight?” I asked her as we walked back to the kitchen where Nami was nowhere to be found, there was simply a piece of paper with the words ‘bring your ass to the car’.

 Chuckling lightly, Robin shook her head. “I have to stay late at the library. Then Franky agreed to let me stay at his place, since it’s closer.” We talked a bit as we made our way to the door, where she wave me goodbye before closing the door gently behind me.

 When I was back in the car, Nami had one of her earbuds on and was talking more gently than she’d usually talk to someone. Which means she was talking to Vivi. I did not interrupt and instead grabbed my phone and saw a message from HandSurgeon.

 HandSurgeon: Are you feeling better? Don’t forget to stay hydrated, I’ll be a bit busy this week, but I can find time if you’d like.

Edelweiss: shit, just saw your message! Sorry, crazy morning. I am definitely sore, but it’s good, I can move so there’s that!

Edelweiss: Also, I might be a bit away from Wednesday to Friday, I am seeing someone and knowing how our session leave me pretty sore, I’d rather you know…

Edelweiss: be in good shape

Edelweiss: for a good fun

Edelweiss: a good fuck

 This time, I did not have a prompt reply. I put my phone away and it’s only halfway through my day, while I was working on something at the library, that I received a reply from him. I’ll admit, I had been expectant the entire morning for an answer. I had been deep in textbooks for so long, I was craving for any sort of interaction, from anyone. Which explained the speed at which I unlocked my phone to see the text from HandSurgeon, and even one from Trafalgar Law.

 I hesitate for a moment, then opened discord.

 HandSurgeon: It’s fine, you are allowed to have a life you know. Simply tell me if you want to stop this, or not, you know… if your someone is not the one and you still need a good fuck.

HandSurgeon: I will also be busy on Thursday, I’ll try to send you a text if I get some free time.

HandSurgeon: I just finished a long meeting, would you be up for a fun game?

 I stared at his messages, feeling a bit excited suddenly. But knowing myself, I would say yes, so I had to answer to Law first before spending my time sexting the stranger.

 Trafalgar Law 😷: I’m sorry we had to cut our conversation short, how was class? I have a bit of free time, if you’d like to talk about our research meeting.

You: That’s actually pretty cute, thought you were just a horny piece of meat but damn, you surprise me.

You: I am still on campus, drowning in work. I’d love to talk, but I need to focus, text me later? 🤠

 Going back on discord, I felt strange. I wanted to say yes, to play his game, but it felt wrong for some reason. I was double texting and it felt like I was cheating on a man I was not even dating. I ignored the thought and typed back.

 Edelweiss: I kinda wanna know, but also really need to get back to work. So, I’ll have to decline.

Edelweiss: But I’m curious, what was the game?

HandSurgeon: It’s quite alright, I was going to suggest you’d take a pretty picture for me no matter who was around. But you are busy, so I’ll leave you be. Focus on your work. I’ll talk to you later.

HandSurgeon: But for ‘emotional support’, I’ll give you this:

HandSurgeon : [sent an attachment]

 I snorted at his words, and smiled when he sent me a picture of his gloved hand gripping the wheel of his car tightly. I did comment on wearing gloves while driving, even though they were not medical gloves and it had some charm, it was very movie-like. And suspicious.

 After that, I put my phone down and got lost in work. I did not even see time fly by, what informed me that it was indeed a few hours later than I thought, was the grumbling of my stomach. “I think it’s time to call it a day.” I mumbled while packing everything up. With the books put back where they belonged and my laptop tucked away, I made my way outside and was walking through the parking lot when I saw a familiar mop of hair making its way towards me.

 I suddenly felt self-conscious and straightened my back before meeting his gaze and frowning in confusion. “Are you stalking me?” I patted my pockets in emphasis, before saying “Did you put a chip somewhere, or-“ Law shook his head as if I was being crazy. “Bro, it’s super super sus that you’re at my campus when I never gave you the address-“

“I asked Robin. I was going to ask Nami but she wouldn’t have given me anything.” He explained as if it was obvious.

 Looking around, I opened my mouth and closes it a few times. It was a bit awkward. “Why are you here, then?” I asked, still confused, my eyes squint in suspicion.

“Right- give me a moment.” He turned around and took a few long strides to get to his car and get something from the passenger seat before coming back. Even though his steps were hurried, there was still this elegance to it that I could not ignore.

 “I am very familiar with long hours of studying, so here’s a drink and some food. I used to skip meals, because I’d get too much into it. Don’t do that, eat.” While what he said seemed caring, he was not smiling or anything. But the gesture was so sweet I couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s very nice of you,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear jokingly in faux-shyness before going back to a normal demeanor. “But I was going home. I was done for the day, here,” I handed it back to him before trying to find my wallet in my bag. “Let me, just- how much do I owe you?”

 He stopped me from rummaging through my back and ruffled my hair before handing me the drink and food back. “Nothing, I was passing by. Now I am sure to not get lost when I’ll come and get you on Thursday.” He winked, then looked back at his watch a moment. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, before looking up at me. “Would you like me to drop you off at your house? I have a bit of time before going back to work.” He asked kindly, showing me his keys as if trying to coo me.

 “Maybe you should go eat too? I’ll take the bus, it’s alright.” Smiling, the man pointed at his car with a certain pride. “Oh don’t worry, I got myself something too. It could be our first lunch date, you are so bent on traditions, so why not lunch?”

 I felt my cheeks heat up and pushed him playfully, careful not to spill the drink I had in my hand. “I’m not bent on traditions, I just barely know you, doc.” I looked to the side and shrugged before walking past him, “Let’s get lunch.” I said over my shoulder. I heard the man laugh in the back, then the jingle of keys.

 I tried to open the door but found it locked. I stated the obvious, “I can’t get in if it’s locked.” I was about to complain more, when he leaned over his side of the car and grinned. “Ask politely, and I’ll let you in.” I hated him, but the smile on my face was a betrayal of how I really felt. He was a little shit, but it was still fun. Rolling my eyes, I mimicked his action and rested my arms on the roof of the car, “Could you please unlock the car, doc?” “Good girl, was it that hard?”

 I turned my head towards him so fast I may have pulled a muscle in my neck, but the way he said it made it a lot more than just a nickname. He was testing the waters for something, and I had given him the exact reaction he wanted. “What, do I call you daddy now?” I said sarcastically while getting inside the car and buckling my seatbelt while he held everything before placing them back on my lap.

 “Not my thing, but I’m sure we’ll get to that conversation later.” He smirked as he put something in the glove box before closing it back and meeting my intense gaze as he leaned back on his seat. I was observing each and everyone of his action, feeling out of place in his car. I had met the man last night, but for some reason he felt familiar. Perhaps it was his aura, perhaps he was just that reassuring. No, clearly not, he looks threatening… “Something on your mind? I don’t know if you’re looking at me like you want kill me or fuck me,” Extending his hand towards me, he placed his index under my chin and lifted it, I quickly grabbed his hand like last time to stop him.

 “Maybe both, maybe none-“ With a short smile, he interrupted me, “Don’t be like that, I’ll ask differently. Are you uncomfortable? I haven’t done this in a while, so I’m trying to take it slow…ish.” He admitted. I could see on his face he was feeling just as sheepish as I was. Clasping my hands on my lap I chuckled nervously, “I’m good, I was just…. Observing. You’re doing good, simply put…” I trailed off and met his gaze with a playful grin, “Ye’re a looker pardner,” I then tipped my non-existent hat, which made him laugh genuinely.

 “You were just in awe?” He asked a bit surprised, hiding his bashfulness behind a laugh. “Exactly, take the compliment and don’t mention it again. Now drive, or you’ll get back late at work.” I huffed, looking at the window with warm cheeks. I felt a pull at my hand and looked at it confused, “I’d love to, but you’re still holding my hand.” I quickly let go and threw his hand back at him, “It was to make sure you weren’t going to do the whole,” Making a gesture with my hands in the air, wiggling my fingers, I continued, “Chin thing again.”

 Even though he agreed, only giving me a curt nod along with a “Right.”, I could see the smile on his face as he started the car. Looking at him from the corner of my eyes, I matched his smile discretely as I looked back at the road.

 The volume of the music wasn’t loud, I could hear the fabric of his coat as he maneuvered, the blinkers, my own nervous heartbeat. There was no reason for me to feel so nervous, we were just going to eat lunch then go our separate way. To try to calm down, I rummaged through my brain for topics to talk about, small talks was fun in social events but in one on one, it was a fucking disaster.

 Do you have any pets? Do you like cats? Maybe talk about his job? How long did he study? Or funny topics, less social, more creative? Politics is off the table, it’s not that great of a first date conversation. What’s your favourite colour? What part of your body to your prefer-

 I blurted out a question to try to fill the silence. And fuck did I regret it, I shouldn’t be allowed to speak when in that state, but it was too late. “So… what’s your favourite body part?” Wait, no, fuck, not…

[Part 6]

#trafalgar one piece #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar law #one piece trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader #physicalturian #words of pleasure #wop #fanfiction #one piece #law one piece #law x reader #ao3 #ao3 writer #physicalturian AO3 #writing #writings

[yellowocaballero]

Bonus story that I regret already

A friend requested a HLVRAI/Freeman’s Mind/HL crossover. Specifically, them getting drinks, in a pub. 

I really hate to spill that I’ve seen all of HLVRAI and Freeman’s Mind, but I figure the cat’s out of the bag. It’s three pages. It’s crack. There will be no continuation. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but tw for ableist language, suggested animal abuse, and suggested slavery. So...that’s how you know Freeman Freeman’s Mind shows up. 

God, does anybody remember FM? Am I the only person who remembers FM? Am I having a stroke? Imagine if Freeman’s Mind came out in 2020. There’d be call-out posts. 

Enjoy...I think? Rest under the cut. 

********************************************

“When you think about it, dog breeding just doesn’t make any sense.”

Thank god. Gordon exhaled in relief. The guy sitting across from him in the dim, crowded pub had finally moved on from his extensive...very extensive...opinions on the IRS. Gordon had desperately tried redirecting the conversation to something more normal, like theoretical physics, or his opinion on multi-dimensional crossovers, but instead the guy just seemed very desperate that everybody know that taxation was theft.

“Right!” Gordon said enthusiastically, just trying to get word in edgewise. He knew he liked to talk, but this guy was ridiculous. “Pugs can’t give birth by themselves. It’s inhumane.”

“Oh, forget about that shit.” The guy waved a hand, burping slightly as he slammed back more of his beer. “What I’m saying is that it’s ridiculous not to train dogs to attack your enemies.”

“I don’t actually have that many -” 

But the guy was already ranting, completely talking over Gordon. Pleadingly, Gordon looked at the other guy they were sitting with for help, but he just sat there drinking his beer with eyes distantly fixed on the tacky retro diner signs hung on the wall. Traitor. 

“When you think about the entire thing’s stupid. The breed standards are just ridiculous, first off. Breeding dogs so they can’t bite, can’t bark, can’t hunt their own food? It’s stupid. What else is the point of a dog! Anybody around here remember why we breed dogs in the first place? It’s so they can help protect us, protect the pack. Dogs used to pull their own. And now they’re just shitty little lap dogs that rich old ladies use to wealth signal. It’s fucking stupid. Dogs are just freeloaders. And I don’t have any freeloaders in my house.”

“Wow,” Gordon muttered rebelliously, “did you read about that on Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit?”

“So that’s why I’m proposing my new idea for dogs. A better dog. Dog 2, the sequel to dogs, if you will,” the guy continued, completely steamrolling him. “These dogs are huge, first of all. But not too huge, since you don’t want them to be a drain on your resources. I’d say definitely the size of a St. Bernard, maybe a little bit bigger. I don’t give a shit if it’s friendly to children or whatever. I don’t give a shit about children. If they can’t survive my dog attacking them, they were never going to make it to adulthood anyway. Survival of the fittest. Anyway, my dog’s going to be big. Short hair, because we live in a hot climate and I don’t want a dog that’s shedding everywhere. It’s not exactly going to be a polar rescue dog here, I need a dog that can survive the Arizona desert. But this dog has to be two things, and these two things are completely vital. Without these two things, it might as well be a Pomeranian.” The man held up two fingers. “One: the dog must be completely loyal to me. Intelligent, but not too intelligent that it doesn’t accept me as the alpha. I’m the alpha to the dog, as I’m also the alpha to the human race. Its loyalty must be complete. Like, I say jump, the dog says how high. That’s how intelligent it is too.” He pushed down the finger, keeping one up. “Second, the dog must be a cold blooded attack machine. I ain’t owning no pussy dog here. This dog is vicious. It can kill anything, and it will do it with pleasure. This dog feels no regret, pain, anguish, PTSD, hesitance, and it never fucking misses. Its teeth are huge and it’s an unrestrained attack machine. With this dog at my side, ain’t nobody’s fucking with me. Walking down the street with this dog next to me, nobody’s looking at me sideways. The chicks dig me. Everybody thinks I’m great. That’s why this is the ideal dog, above all other dogs.”

“Wow,” Gordon said desperately, really hoping that this was the end of the fucking dog conversation, “that’s great. My friend, uh, Tommy, he has a great Golden. Says it’s a perfect dog. That’s really possible actually, it survived like six turrets -”

“Idiot. That’s not what I fucking mean.” The guy scoffed at Gordon. “This perfect dog doesn’t exist. No dog is that immaculate. And if you try breeding for all those traits, you end up with some shitty inbred dog. No way. You gotta get more creative. Just wanting the perfect dog is for chumps who don’t understand genetics, evolution, dog breeding, dog training, warfare both physical and psychology, psychology itself, sociology, philosophy, or xenobiology. No. What I’m saying now is that in order to get the perfect dog, you have to breed aliens. I’m thinking headcrabs.”

Gordon distantly felt his jaw dropping. “Head - headcrabs?”

“Or those fucked up things with garbage disposal mouths,” the guy said thoughtfully. “Whatever they’re called. I don’t respect any of those shitty aliens enough to give them names. If you want me to remember your name, you have to earn it. My brain’s filled with much more important things, like theoretical physics and being better than you.”

“Garbage disposal - do you mean peeper puppies?!”

“Yeah, whatever. What I’m saying is that I’ve really cornered the market on xenobiology. I’m the world fuckin’ expert in dealing with aliens.” He looked thoughtful for a second as he chugged his beer again, which was a first. “Well. Dimensional expert. Point is, I can say with eighty seven percent confidence that, given enough time and unlimited access to a shock collar, I can train one of those shitty alien species crawling all over Black Mesa to obey my every command and slay my enemies. I could probably even turn it against its kinsmen. Get the aliens to wipe out the aliens, and humanity comes out on top. Then I turn my alien slaves against humanity, and Gordon Freeman is at top. So what do you think? Good idea or good idea?”

Gordon stared at him, slightly horrified, slightly incredulous, somehow amused. God, he had spent too much time around Benrey. This guy would love Benrey. He could never introduce them. “Terrible idea. I can’t believe we’re the same person.”

“You’re a loser. What about you, huh?” Freeman gestured with his cup at the third Gordon Freeman, who still seemed thoroughly checked out of the conversation. “What do you think? Want to invest some money into my plan? You’ll get a three hundred return on your investment, and dominion of the country of your choice.”

Gordon Freeman stared at Freeman blankly. He seemed really checked out. 

Freeman looked back at Gordon. “Is this guy retarded or something? That or he’s high off his ass, but I know how I get when I’m high and I’m never that out of it.”

“I’m not sure you aren’t on coke right now,” Gordon groused, sipping his own margarita. Which Freeman had called a ‘girl drink’. Asshole. “Why don’t you just -”

“Hey, Doc!”

Suddenly, with no more advanced warning than the overly friendly cry, Benrey - sorry, Barney - popped up at their table. Freeman groaned, ignoring him completely for favor of his drink, and Gordon waved weakly at him. He seemed - well, nice. Much nicer than Benrey. Not that it was hard. 

“You guys having fun or what?” Barney said, leaning against the table and winking at Freeman, who made a face. “We’re having a really good time at the Barney table, let me tell you. Maybe we can do Trivia Pursuit? That’ll be fun!”

“Don’t tell me you’re actually making friends with Benrey,” Gordon said, sighing. “Dude’s insufferable.”

“Blunt as ever, Doc,” Barney laughed. “Benrey’s not that bad! Just kind of a freak, you know?”

“Yeah,” Gordon said, impossibly depressed. “I know.”

“Anyway, I actually wanted to ask the Doc if he had my keys. Hold on a hot second.” Barney turned to the aforementioned zoned out Gordon Freeman, and abruptly started waving his hands around. Wait - was that sign language? When he glanced at Freeman, he seemed interested too. 

Even more amazingly, Gordon Freeman responded, rolling his eyes and tilting his fist before digging in his pocket and pulling out his keys, pressing them into Barney’s hands. Barney winked, signed out what Gordon recognized as a thank you, and fucked off back to the Barney table. If Gordon craned his head, he could see Freeman’s Barney (whose name Freeman didn’t even seem to know) trying to drink his beer as he was thoroughly terrorized by Benrey. Gordon couldn’t fight the crush of fondness that bloomed in his chest. Benrey was fun to watch when he was terrorizing someone else - but you could say that about all of his friends, really. 

Then the implications of that exchange hit Gordon over the head. He turned to Gordon Freeman, who seemed to have gone back to checking out of the conversation. “Wait, are you freaking deaf?”

Gordon blinked at him sleepily. Gordon cursed, rummaging around on the table until he found a napkin, and Freeman passed him a pen as he wrote down in large, blocky letters ‘ARE YOU DEAF???’ and slid it to Gordon Freeman. 

Gordon Freeman stared at it. He looked up at the two of them and - oh, god, he was definitely smirking. Like the cat that caught the fucking canary. He tilted his fist in what even Gordon recognized as a yes. 

“You fucking asshole!” Gordon exploded. “You left me to suffer with this guy alone? How could you? That’s not team behavior!”

“You got pranked, bro!” Benrey called, from across the room. “Bro, you got mad pranked! El oh el, bro!”

“Shut up, asshole!”

“Hey, what do you mean?” Freeman asked, offended. “My ideas are genius. This is a unique business opportunity, here. You’ll never get another chance to make three hundred percent back on your investment again -”

“Epic fail, bro!” Benry called. 

Gordon groaned and started chugging his margarita. He would need to be a lot drunker if he was going to get through this stupid extradimensional mistake. 

#jesus okay time to tag all of this #my writing #hlvrai #hl #half life #freeman's mind #hl fanfic #gordon freeman #benry #barney calhoun #sorry queen isn't in this one #told myself I'd never write benrey and that's still true

[johannstutt413]

Christmas in the Clouds

(requested by anonymous, who thought this would be cursed...HAH I say. HAH.)

It was Christmas morning, and like most of their employees, the Doctor wasn’t going into work today; they’d polished off most of their work the day before in a Christmas Eve crunch that would make any exec jealous, and now it was time for some serious R&R. They pulled out their trusty rolling paper, tossed in some of their favorite blend of grass, and smiled as they settled into their smoking chair, ready for a comfy evening in their house, just them and the THC.

It was an open secret the Doctor had started smoking marijuana some time after returning to Rhodes Island from their comatose exile in Chernobog; Perfumer, after several sessions with them, had determined they were entirely too anxious to keep up their current pace and not hurt or even kill themselves with a blood pressure spike, so she’d put together a blend of medicinal herbs - including marijuana, yes - to calm them down and prescribed it under the pseudonym “Smoke Balm,” which she got approved through Aak to minimize the number of questions asked by medical personnel. The best part, in the Doctor’s mind, was how easy it was to get more; Lena and Podenco grew the individual ingredients for a variety of other blends for other Operators, and they were more than willing to top the stash off whenever their boss asked them to, which meant the Doc essentially had a year-round season pass to Zootsville whenever they felt like. It was heavenly.

That morning, however, wasn’t the best to start high off their ass, as the knock on their door signaled. They stood up, albeit a bit shakily, set their joint on a silver tray on their chair arm, and answered the door to find...Lena? “Good morning, Doctor...Did you forget about the Christmas party?”

“The what?” They blinked. “We have one of those?”

“Dr. Kal’tsit sent the invite out two weeks ago. Did you not get one?”

They thought for a minute, but there wasn’t really any hope of them remembering at this point - that blend did good work, fast. “Uh...”

“Regardless, I was hoping you and I could go together.” She smiled. “Especially since it seems you’ll need someone watching you tonight, as I imagine you’ll be taking your afternoon dose as well.”

“Yeah...sorry, I didn’t know.” The Doctor wasn’t sure why they were blushing. Maybe from the heat from holding the smoldering herbs to their face?

Perfumer pat them on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Doctor. Next time I plan on asking you on a date, I’ll do it earlier. See you tonight~”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.” She left, and a few minutes after they sat back down, it clicked what had just happened. Maybe they shouldn’t smoke the second one today…

About ten hours and three joints later, the Doctor was going on a vision quest in the main hall as Lena led them around, arm in arm. The lights shone brighter, the music sounded more in-tune, and the Vulpo on their arm looked absolutely stunning, but in spite of all of that, there was a gnawing pit in their stomach that something wasn’t right...or maybe they were just hungry.

“The kitchen staff aren’t serving dinner until later tonight,” Perfumer explained as they walked to the snack table, “but this should be enough to tide you over for now. I’m going to get us some punch, okay? Stay by the brownies until I come back.”

“Okay.” They waved to her as she went off, which was apparently enough to earn a blush, before turning to the brownie plate and picking it up off the table.

Aak arrived around three brownies later, looking oddly dapper in his party get-up. “Hey, dude. Man, you look wasted; how many puffs did you take before you got here?”

“...Uh...” Were they supposed to answer with a number?

“Ah, whatever; I won’t stop ya from having fun.” He winked at them. “Waitin’ for my date, too. Can I get one of those?”

The Doctor looked at the brownies, frowned, and handed them the plate. “There you go.”

“Thanks, man.” The Feline took two and handed back the plate.

“Hey...” They counted the number in his hand. “That’s not one.”

Aak laughed. “I rounded down, man, don’t worry ‘bout it. Guess you got nervous about your speech, huh?”

“...Speech?”

“Yeah! You’re the boss, after all.” He laughed at the expression on the Doctor’s face, but after a moment he realized he wasn’t joking, and the Feline suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for the poor bastard. “Shit, man, they didn’t tell you anything, huh?”

They shook their head. “I didn’t even know we had a party today.”

“No wonder you’re so out of it. Well, you’ll do fine, so don’t think about it too much.”

At that point, Warfarin arrived; if looks could kill, she’d’ve slain most of the room by now in that scarlet dress of hers. “Good evening, Doctor. Aak, you’re not bothering them too much, are you?”

“No more than a nibble on their neck would.” He grinned as she thumbed him in the center of his forehead. “Gotta go, my guy, but good luck tonight!”

“Yeah, man...You, too.” The Feline steered his Sarkaz date away from the Doctor, who suddenly had a real concern on their plate. What kind of speech was it supposed to be? And how do you give a speech when you can’t remember the sentence that came before the one you were saying just then after you said a sentence and forgot about the other one?...Wait, hadn’t they already thought that?

Perfumer returned with two tall plastic cups and handed them one. “There you go, darling...Is everything okay? You’re sweating now.”

“Aak said I have to give a speech tonight.” They gulped down the punch. “I’m not ready.”

“Ah, yes, the speech. I wrote one for you this afternoon.” She reached around the back of her dress and pulled out a set of note cards.

The Doctor set their empty cup on the table and hugged her. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Lena’s face was now a Christmas light in and of itself. “I also spiked your punch.”

“Wait, what?” They let her go.

The Vulpo smiled back at them. “It’s a counter-dose for the Smoke Balm in your system. It’ll take some time to take effect, but by the time you need to make your speech, you should have all your faculties back.”

“Wow...You’re amazing.” That overloaded her systems, but the Doctor couldn’t tell in their current state. “Hey, is there somewhere I could sit? I’m kinda dizzy.”

“Ah, yes, the side effects...Coming down so quickly might fatigue your body extra. Let’s find somewhere to wait for the antidote to kick in.” She took their arm again, blushing more than she had in her life, and led them to a circle of chairs that, at first, was completely unoccupied.

Once people saw the pair sit down, however, they began to fill in around them; Podenco sat next to Perfumer, which meant Myrrh and a few others from the garden crew did as well, while Gravel took the seat next to the Doctor with a wide smile on her face. “Good evening, Doctor. How’re things?”

“Things? Things are good.” Lena was distracted right then, but that probably wasn’t a big deal. “How’re your things?”

“Good. I’d like to show you something, if you’re not busy~”

They shook their head. “Not really, but I gotta sit for a bit.”

“Oh? That’s fine.” The Zalak pulled a piece of mistletoe from somewhere and dangled it between them. “Here is just fine~”

“...I don’t get it.”

She giggled. “You don’t know? When two people are under mistletoe together, they have to kiss. It’s the law.”

“It is?” The Doctor looked over to Perfumer. “Hey, Lena? Is it a rule that people under mistletoe have to kiss?”

“Hmm? Why are you-” The Vulpo looked over, saw Gravel attempting to steal their date, and glared at her.

The Zalak cocked her head. “Is the Doctor with you tonight?”

“Yes, they are.” She held out a hand to the Doctor. “We’re on a date.”

“Is that true, Doctor?” The knight turned back to her mark-

-who’d plucked the mistletoe from her hand and was now eating it. “Piney.”

“...Doctor?” Perfumer giggled. “Well, I suppose you’re not under it anymore.”

“Huh? Oh, right.” They kissed Gravel’s forehead, which left her steaming in her chair.

Lena blinked. “I...hmm.”

“What?” The Doctor did the same to her. “Now I’m the mistletoe.”

“I...I suppose you are, but...why are you kissing everyone’s forehead?”

They shook their head. “Not everyone. Only if they’re shorter than me.”

“...Okay, then.” She stood up, letting go of their hand. “I need to use the restroom. Stay here until I get back, okay?”

“Okay.” As they walked off, the Doctor could feel the high wearing off as everything turned a little more grey, a little more quiet...or was that because their eyes were closing?

A few hours later, the Doctor woke up, still in the corner, with no one anywhere near him. They glanced around, confused. “Wait, wasn’t...wasn’t there a party?”

“There was.” Perfumer walked in from off to the side. “You slept through the rest of it. No one asked you for a speech after all - apparently Amiya does those now. Are you ready to go home?”

“...I’m sorry.” They really were.

She shook her head. “I should be apologizing, Doctor; I didn’t realize the antidote had a side effect-”

“I shouldn’t have had four Balms in the first place.” They sighed. “I’m a terrible date, and a worse person for making you drag me around like that.”

“Doctor, you didn’t make me do that. I wanted to.”

The Doctor looked up at her. “You did?”

“Of course.” Lena smiled at him, although it was a little shaky. “You’re my patient, after all.”

“You know you’re more than that to me, though, right?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“...You’re sure?” They stood up, holding out a hand. “You don’t seem confident in that.”

“I...the mistletoe stunt hurt, but I knew better.” She didn’t take their hand.

So they took hers. “Lena-”

“It’s fine.” The Vulpo’s eyes fell to the floor. “We aren’t actually a couple, so I-”

“Lena, look at me. Please.”

Perfumer looked up - and sprouting from the Doctor’s head was a sprig of mistletoe. “...Huh?”

“I don’t need this to kiss you.” They snapped it off their head and threw it behind them, into a smoldering fireplace which flared dramatically as the plant made contact. “I want to do that anyway.”

“Oh, Doctor~” She leapt into their arms to accept their kiss-

-and punched their arm to wake them up. “Doctor? You fell asleep.”

“...Did I?” They groggily looked around. The party was still going on, but it did feel like it was winding down. “Sorry. I think the Balm’s wearing off.”

“That’s good.” She was apparently cross with them in real life as well as in their dreams. Reality is often disappointing like that.

The Doctor turned to Lena. “Did something happen with mistletoe earlier?”

“...Nothing important.” The Vulpo looked back at them, completely neutral, as she stood up. “Dr. Kal’tsit said your speech is in ten minutes. I’ll take you to where you’ll be giving it.”

“Thank you...I’m sorry.” They followed suit.

She shrugged. “Sorry for what?”

“For making you work on Christmas Day.” That earned them a curious work. “And on our date, too.”

“It’s not work,” Lena protested.

The Doctor took her hand. “It hasn’t been a date, either...I’ll make it up to you.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to.” Perfumer looked off to the side before they started walking. “I knew what I was asking for.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, please be seated. The Doctor’s closing message is about to begin.” Dr. Kal’tsit said as she saw their HR head and primary tactician approach the raised platform she’d had set up for the night’s festivities.

The Vulpo patted the pocket where she’d put the speech cards. “Just read that and you should be fine. I’ll be sitting in the crowd with everyone else.”

“Okay.” They took a deep breath, and suddenly the world was brighter again. “Wait, what the-”

“Doctor, would you please come up to the microphone?” The green-haired Feline surrounded by knives - wait, knives? - called to them.

They walked up the mile-long staircase to the mike and looked out into the sea of blood and ashes- looked out into the audience, including Lena, who flashed them a thumbs-up. The Doctor cleared their throat, took a deep breath, and began to read.

“As the end of the first calendar year since my return comes to an end, I look at what we’ve accomplished as a company, and I couldn’t be more proud of each and every one of you. I know that even before my return, you were hard at work, and you set a strong foundation for me to capitalize on, which I can’t thank you enough for. Since then, we’ve created a strong working partnership with Lungmen, initiated trade deals with multiple city-states, repelled Reunion forces from several locations and secured trade routes, stopped a volcano - a fricken volcano! - from erupting and burying a city, prevented a hostile takeover of Lungmen by the Rat King and his forces, and fought injustice and prejudice at every turn. It’s impossible for me to thank each and every one of you for your contributions, but as this year ends and another one begins, I hope to at least be able to return the effort and good faith you’ve given me and this company with my own.”

Applause...and then an awkward pause as the Doctor stood there, contemplating their next action before continuing.

“Truth be told, my own investment has been...lacking, I feel. Shortly after returning, I developed a chemical dependency which very nearly jeopardized this evening.”

Murmurs from the crowd.

“Going forward, I promise I will be fully present and engaged for gatherings such as these, as I refuse to repeat this sort of mistake...and to my date for the evening, I’d like to apologize with every fiber of my being. Let’s grab a burger or something tomorrow. My treat.”

Louder murmuring, which instantly fell silent when Lena called out “Sure!” from the back of the audience.

“Alright, now I’m done.” They chuckled. “Have a good night, everyone. Try to not get caught under the mistletoe at the wrong time, okay?”

A few people in the know broke out into laughs as the rest awkwardly applauded; Kal’tsit returned to the stage and announced the party was over, and as quickly as they’d taken their seats, the crowd scattered.

Except, that is, for Lena and the Doctor, who took their time walking arm-in-arm to her apartment. “You didn’t need to do that, Doctor; I knew you didn’t intend for the evening to go the way it did.”

“I want to be held accountable, so I decided to get the whole company involved. Besides, it was a convenient way of making sure we scheduled a second date.”

“Ah, clever.” The Vulpo giggled. “I would have agreed no matter how you asked, of course.”

They smiled back. “Of course...Well, we’re here. I should probably get some sleep now; I did a real number on my body today.”

“Oh, I’m sure...but are you sure you want to go all the way home to do that?” Perfumer didn’t let go of the Doctor’s arm as she swiped her keycard through her dorm’s card reader.

“Hmm...well,” the Doctor admitted, “I suppose I can stay for a little bit. Having a medical opinion of my condition would be nice.”

Lena nodded. “Oh, yes, I agree. I’ll be sure to give you a thorough examination.”

“...You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Gravel scared me with that mistletoe stunt,” she admitted, “and scent marking might not be as effective as I’d hoped. If you’d rather not-”

They spun around so they were holding Perfumer in the threshold, unlinking their arm so they could hug her instead. “I never said that. I’m just surprised you’re okay with moving so quickly.”

“You can never be too careful around Rhodes Island, Doctor, but you can be too cautious.” She hugged them close, gently leading them backwards into her apartment.

“True.” They pulled the door shut behind them once both were past the threshold. “Merry Christmas, Lena.”

Lena slid the Doctor’s mask aside with a finger and kissed them, eyes glittering in anticipation. “Merry Christmas, Doctor dearest~”

#arknights #seasonal special #perfumer (arknights) #i appreciate the effort anon went to #asking for a Doctor getting high on marijuana and then having to go to a Christmas party #and emphasizing how they imagined this was a terribly cursed ask #and maybe to some it is? #but I don't fully understand how drugs affect people #and we have the power of Arknights super medicine on our side #so instead we get a strange lead-up to what is ultimately a Perfumer/neutral!Doc fic #not because that was part of the request #but because it makes sense that stoner Doctor would be in good with the local dealer #or should I say dealers... #Perfumer/Aak/Doctor poly when? #only on reader request #arknights fic

[the--blackdahlia]

The Poker Game

Title: The Poker Game

Summary:  Vince Neil, Axl Rose, Bret Michaels, Sebastian Bach, Jani Lane, and Jon Bon Jovi are sitting down for a poker game. Vince is a little low to make the bet, but he knows that his hand is the winner. He just knows it.

Warnings: Language mainly

AN: Tommy x Nikki, Slash x Axl. Just a random crack fic that I came up with because I was bored af.

Smoke filled the room as Axl puffed on his cigarette while Jon dealt out the cars. Vince poured himself and Jani another glass of whiskey, Bret was just sticking to water, and Sebastian was all about his vodka. The six frontmen had gotten together for a poker game, since they were all in the same area for a big festival and honestly, being away from the rest of their bands was a nice little break.

“So, your drummer and your bassist are screwing,” Axl laughed. “I figured it’d be you and the bassist.” He gave Vince a smirk.

“Oh, fuck you,” Vince rolled his eyes. “You’re just jealous that you can’t get in on that.”

“Why would I when I got Slash?” Axl shrugged. “You can keep your nasty band to yourself.”

“Are these two always like this?” Jon asked as he dealt out the cards.

“Yeah. Every poker game they argue like this,” Sebastian sighed.

“Just fuck already,” Bret and Jani said as one. Axl and Vince both glared at the blondes.

“Or not,” Jani raised his hands. “Fuck, you two have a mean glare.”

“Can we just play cards already?” Sebastian asked as he picked up his hand. There was a murmur among the group before they started playing and placing their bets. They played a couple hands, just some light jabbing and jokes, telling stupid stories about their bands and all that good shit.

“And then CC,” Bret looked at his cards. “I fold. Anyway, CC went running off naked down the street just because he didn’t want to eat the fucking peppers that Rikki was going to make him eat.”

“That’s some terror twins shit right there,” Jon laughed. “I don’t know how Vince and Mick put up with it. My band is so tame compared to Nikki and Tommy.”

“They’re hilarious man,” Sebastian laughed. “Those two come up with some of the stupidest shit and I love watching them try to do it while hiding from Doc.”

“Okay, I fold too,” Jani laid his cards down as Axl raised the bet. Vince looked in his wallet, and saw that he didn’t have enough to cover the bet, but he looked at his cards and saw he had a straight flush, 2 through 5, all hearts. He knew he was going to win.

“Let’s make this interesting,” Vince grabbed a card from his wallet for a bar that he went to and just never got rid of, and a pen from the table. He wrote on the back of the card and placed it in the middle. Axl picked it up.

“You’re fucking kidding,” Axl laughed. “Nikki’s gonna kill you.”

“Not if I win,” Vince smiled. The other four looked at the card, which was Vince’s bet. He had bet Tommy Lee.

“I’m out,” Jon laid his cards down.

“Me too,” Sebastian added. It was just Vince and Axl now.

“Okay, show me your cards,” Axl laughed. Vince smiled and laid down his straight flush.

“I think I’ll just be taking my goods…” Vince went to reach for the pile, but Axl stopped him.

“Wow, if you’re this premature in bed, no wonder you can’t keep anyone,” Axl laughed. “Gotta see my cards first, don’t you?” He laid his cards out then.

A royal flush.

“Oh my god,” Jani looked over at Vince, who was staring in horror at the offending cards.

“What the fuck did you just do?” Bret asked.

“Oh god, Nikki is going to kill you,” Sebastian added. “Jon, we might as well order the flowers now.”

“Flowers?” Jon asked, looking confused.

“For Vince’s funeral,” Sebastian laughed a little. Axl just smirked.

“I’ll be getting my new drummer soon,” Axl laughed. “I’m sure Steven wouldn’t mind a vacation.” Axl got up with his winnings. “Night guys. I’ll see you later.” He winked at Vince before leaving. Jani, Bret, Sebastian, and Jon all looked at Vince before excusing themselves too.

Vince dreaded telling Nikki and Tommy what he had done. He decided to head back to his room and sleep it off. He’d figure something out in the morning.

****

Nikki was awoke the next morning by knocking on his hotel door. Tommy groaned and moved closer to the bassist, keeping him in bed.

“Just pretend you don’t hear it and they’ll go away,” Tommy whispered, laying his head on Nikki’s chest. Nikki was about to go back to sleep when the knocking started again.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Nikki pulled on a pair of pants and shirt. Tommy groaned and did the same. He flopped back on the bed as Nikki opened the door. There stood Duff, looking slightly annoyed.

“Duff? What the fuck?” Nikki asked. Duff sighed.

“Nikki, all I can say is I’m really sorry about this,” Duff told him.

“What are you talking about?” Nikki asked. Duff sighed and motioned for Izzy and Slash, who held Nikki against the wall while Duff walked in. “What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!”

“Sorry man. We gotta do this or face the wrath of Axl,” Slash sighed. “Go ahead Duff.” Duff reached out and grabbed Tommy, throwing him over his shoulder. He was glad that Tommy was still half asleep, but he was still wiggling like crazy.

“See ya man,” Duff waved by, carrying Tommy out of the room, followed by Slash and Izzy.

****

Vince was asleep, until he heard yelling in the hallway. His eyes snapped open and he sat up to listen.

“Put me down Duff!” Tommy yelled. “Put me down!”

“Sorry, I can’t. Axl won you fair and square. And I’d rather not fight with him,” Duff’s voice flowed through the door.

“What do you mean Axl won him? What the fuck is going on?” Was Nikki’s voice next.

“Dude, Vince bet him in the poker game last night,” Slash explained. “Axl sent us to collect.”

“Oh no,” Vince whispered. He went to lock his door, but it was too late. Nikki threw it open and glared the frontman down. “Nikki, I can explain…”

“You bet Tommy?!” Nikki yelled.

“I thought I was going to win…” Vince told him, backing up until his legs hit his bed.

“So you bet Tommy!” Nikki was fuming. Mick came in then, staring at the two of them.

“What’s going on?” Mick asked. Nikki kept his eyes trained on Vince.

“Our singer decided to bet my boyfriend in his poker game!” Nikki explained. “And he lost!”

“You did what?” Mick asked.

“I had a straight flush!” Vince defended. “What is the likelihood that Axl fucking Rose would have a royal flush?”     

“Oh my god, you lost the drummer to Guns n’ Roses?” Mick groaned. “That’s just great.”

“How was I supposed to know he had a royal flush?” Vince asked. “That’s like, damn near impossible!”

“But he did. And now you have to get Tommy back,” Nikki growled. “Or I will personally end you.”

“You’re joking, right?” Vince asked. “He’s joking…” He looked over at Mick, who shook his head no. “How am I supposed to get him back?”

“Figure it out,” Nikki growled. “And fast.” With that, he stormed out, leaving Vince and Mick in Vince’s hotel room.

****

“You can’t just kidnap people!” Tommy yelled at he was carried to the area Guns n’ Roses was staying at.

“Vince placed the bet. I’m just claiming it.” Axl told him as he smiled at the drummer, who was placed in a chair. “I just plan on keeping you like a day or something. Just to make Vince stew.”

“Am I being replaced?” Steven asked, looking at Tommy.

“No Steven. Just wanted a little fun at Vince’s expense,” Axl patted his back. “Anyway, welcome to Guns n’ Roses, temporary drummer Tommy Lee.”

“Oh god, this is going to be in a book somewhere, isn’t it?” Tommy asked.

“That would be hilarious. Someone write this down so we don’t forget this when we’re doing drugs,” Izzy told them.

“On it,” Slash told him, already writing everything down. “Well find some random song to credit you or something just to piss off Vince even more.”

“God, I love that we’re all thinking the same thing,” Axl laughed. “Okay, who’s hungry?”

****

“How am I supposed to get Tommy back?” Vince asked Jon, Jani, Bret, and Sebastian. He had gotten the four frontmen together for coffee and needed their help to undo what he had done.

“Another poker game?” Jon suggested.

“Yeah because that worked out so great for him last time,” Sebastian added. 

“You guys are super helpful,” Vince groaned, laying his head on the table.

“Maybe kidnap him back?” Jani suggested. “Not like Axl has armed guards keeping him against his will or something.”

“Are we staging a robbery?” Bret asked. “Because I’m game if you guys are.”

“Okay, let’s go steal Tommy back before Nikki fucking kills me,” Vince sighed, downing the rest of his coffee. He stood up, giving Jon, Jani, Bret, and Sebastian a look that told them if they didn’t help him, he would let Nikki tear them apart too. They all stood up and followed him.

****

“Draw four Izzy,” Tommy laughed as he threw down a change of color card. “And I’m feeling very yellow right now.”

“Fuck you Lee,” Izzy grumbled. “That’s the third fucking draw card you’ve used on me. I’m switching spots with Steven.”

“Nah. Us drummers gotta stick together,” Tommy laughed, giving Steven a high five. Duff just shook his head and laid out a yellow card. “Where’s Slash and Axl?”

“You don’t wanna know,” Duff grumbled. “Bad enough we have to hear it.”

“Yeah, let’s just have fun playing Uno,” Steven added.

“At least you guys are having fun!” Izzy held up his large hand of cards. “This fucking blows!”

“Hey, you’re the one who suggested Uno,” Duff told him. “Not our fault you suck at it.”

“First off…” Izzy started, only to be cut off by the door opening up and five frontmen coming in.

“Vince? What are you doing?” Tommy asked, standing up.

“Uh, this is a rescue Leia. Let’s go,” Vince grabbed Tommy’s arm and pulled him.

“A rescue? I’m not in distress,” Tommy tried to pull free from Vince. He wanted to finish his card game. “Vince, let go!”

“Can’t. Your boyfriend is going to literally kill me if I don’t bring you back. So we have to go now.” Vince told him, the other frontmen stopping the rest of Guns n’ Roses from following them.

“I mean, you’re the one that used me as a bet…” Tommy pointed out.

“I had a straight flush!” Vince defended. He tugged Tommy back to where Motley Crue was staying. Nikki and Vince were watching TV when Vince appeared with Tommy. “There! I got him back!”

“I was having fun, we were playing Uno,” Tommy sighed. He looked at Nikki and smiled. “Hey Nik.”

“Next time you run out of money Vince, bet yourself,” Nikki growled, wrapping Tommy up in a hug.

“You know, Axl’s not gonna be happy his winnings just walked off, right?” Mick told them. “And we’re still here with them for two more days.”

“Neil!” Axl’s screech came from the hallway. Axl burst into the room with the rest of his band right behind him. “I was going to give him back like tomorrow before your set! You can’t just take him!”

“He’s our drummer, I’ll take him back,” Vince crossed his arms over his chest.

“You bet him in the first place!” Axl screamed.

“You shouldn’t have put the stakes so high!” Vince called back. Tommy, Nikki, Mick, Izzy, Steven, Duff, and Slash all looked at each other as the two frontmen yelled at each other. Nikki motioned for them to all leave, and Duff nodded. The two bands made their way out of the room, leaving Axl and Vince to yell at each other.

“Where’d they go?” Vince asked.

“Damn it! You lost them!”

“How did I lose them! This is your fault!”

“Oh fuck you Neil!”

“You wish!”

****

“Draw four Mick,” Izzy said, about to lay down the card, but one look at the other guitarist had him changing his mind. “On second thought, I think I’ll just play this seven on that seven…”

“Good choice,” Slash laughed.

“Why are we playing Uno again?” Duff asked.

“Because it’s fun,” Tommy told him. “Right Nik?”

“Right,” Nikki nodded, peeking over Steven’s shoulder at his cards.

“Maybe we should make Vince and Axl play this game instead,” Steven pulled his hand to his chest so Nikki couldn’t see. The bassist gave him a sheepish smile.

“They’d still find a way to screw it up,” Slash told them, laying down his card. Two left and…

“Uno!” Tommy called out, jumping up and smiling.

“I hate this game,” Izzy sighed.

“You’re just jealous you never win,” Mick laughed. “Come on drummer, win already so we can play Slapjack.”

The End

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-junky @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1 @useyourillusion @xpoisonousrosesx

#motley crue #guns n roses #poison #bon jovi #skid row #warrant #tommy lee x nikki sixx #nikki sixx x tommy lee #axl rose x slash #slash x axl rose #fanfiction

[transgenderhelicopter-blog]

Let me down

I used to be afraid of Darkness, I would wake up screaming in my bed, trying to find the nearest light. I could not breathe, the Darkness took me for many nights. I learned to embrace it...

I am a good for nothing, which literally means what it says, good-for-nothing.

I am the product of a broken economy, unemployment and most of all,  procrastination.

Somewhere along the way I lost the spark that lights our passions and it was replaced by the hole of despair. I am not willing to change things anymore, I just want to-

This is a work of fiction, but for me it means more than that, this is my only way to express what I truly feel, I don’t expect this to make sense, I just need to let it all out and maybe this will reach someone who will resonate with my words. I am afraid of putting my true feelings on paper, I am scared to be judged, to put the costume away and let all to see what lies beneath. 

Yet it is something I must do.

Sometimes to feel the light we need to take our masks out. This is my bare Self.

“When was the last time I left my house?”

I would ask myself this many times throughout the week, I could never remember.

The trash was starting to pile up in the kitchen, the food was running out and the stink of my armpits was becoming unbearable, but none of that mattered to me anymore. I had nothing, nothing to lose as well, I just had to pay rent and utilities and that meant 30 more days with a roof, simple and efficient-

No. It doesn’t feel right. Let me try again.

Ok I’m back I just had some rice.

 Eating that rice made me think about one quote from Lao tzu, I am not going to quote it but basically talks about water, how water gives life to everything in the planet yet it claims no ownership on any of the creatures it gives life to, you can step on water yet it will not react in any manner, water is everywhere. This really enlightened my conception of God (This just real I know). Growing up I was always told God loved me and had a plan for. How he was everywhere and loved everyone. As a kid I took that as a fact coming from my mom but not only until I entered my twenties I started to really look into it and give that blurred idea of God more definition. 

My conclusion? Well I don’t have one, but I got something better, a core idea of God (just to clarify this is my perception and yours is as valid as mine, something which I will explain later.)

Drum rolls please! (Now you imagine the cool drum roll noise, thank you)

GOD IS BOTH GOOD AND BAD. 

Say what? But I thought God was a source of eternal love and he had a place in heaven for me?

Well yes, but no. By that I mean God does love you, but also he doesn’t. Confusing right? Well I have an imaginary doctor that looks like Einstein that will explain this with fancy words, Doc if you might?

“Why of course my dear colleague, allow me to clarify the previous statement. What my dear friend means is that technically good and evil are not really true concepts, to illustrate this I will ask you dear reader to think about temperature.

Many would say the opposite of cold is… Hot! 

But it is not as simple as that, in my colleague’s perception hot and cold are just a lack and abundance of temperature, they both belong to the temperature realm, they are not opposites, they are quantities of temperature. You wouldn't say a kilo of rice is the opposite of twenty kilos of rice would you? Well the same can be applied to actions to some extent. Now this is not to be taken as an excuse to become a murderous machine shielding your actions with this idea, only a fool would do such a thing, this is why “technically” is such a keyword. 

Societies do have good and evil, and depending on your society you may have slightly or even quite different conceptions of them. You have a moral compass, which will make you feel bad when you do something “evil” and good when something “good” has been done. But these are just human representation or more accurately, creation. Now back to my colleague thank you for listening to this old man’s rumbling”

Wow that was boring. Anyways back to what I was saying, again this might not make sense at all but honestly and too deep to stop now and I am having a blast doing this. 

So if God is everything why is he not associated with the bad stuff? I asked my friends one simple question, what is evil? Their answer?

“Imagine that God is a candle, the closer you are to the candle the more light and warm there is, but if you go far away you won’t feel that right? Evil is the absence of God.”

Clap, clap,clap.

That was good man, I liked that response quite a lot. But that's just a pretty response, I am at the same point before asking the question. God is everything right? So how can there be any absence of everything? See what I mean? My answer?

 God is. 

That’s it. Do with it what you want.

Next!

Let’s talk about love (Yay!) more specifically unconditional love (ugh).

My take on this is I don’t believe in unconditional love, we love things or people because of the things they do or have that benefit us. 

“Bu-But my girl is like the most loyal and she loves me no matter what and I asked if she would leave me for George Clooney and she said she won’t!”

Good for you mate!

Anyways I had a weird upbringing which led to me being a weird person. (Who would have thought right!?) 

And that’s it for the love section! Brief and underwhelming just like me in bed!

Now that the bed joke is finally taken out of the way let’s continue shall we?

Now on a more serious note, many of us feel It, I call it It because I don’t know how to call it, and in all honesty It sounds hella cool. But yeah, it happens, you relapse, things fall apart and everything lose meaning, you go to social media and are bombarded with smiles and people having the time of their life, what I am saying is not new, heck many of you might have heard the same thing on social media, which is so ironic but whatever. I am not gonna tell you things are gonna get better or worse, because I don’t know shit, but I can tell you that the only constant in life is change for the good and the bad, so if you are in at the bottom of the hill know that it won’t be forever and if you are on top of the mountain the same applies. That is. 

NOW IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT ME YAY!

Ohh I love talking about myself, don’t we all? I could talk hours upon hours about myself and never get tired!

I have so many fuck yous to say but not enough time sadly so we’ll skip that!

I was raised by a single mother (Can I get a round of applause for them?)

In a country with a broken economy but an amazing quality of life, I still haven’t met my father and I don’t know if I’ll ever will, I wrote him but he left me on read (fuck him).

I have a half sister, her Dad ain’t mine but I took his last name, the guy was loaded and a drunk with psycho issues, so a lot of screaming at home which I am pretty sure messed me up because every time someone screams at me weird shit happens.

And that’s it for now, I don’t want to bore you guys but know that I have a lot to tell!

Next!

POLITICAL VIEWS

This is gonna get spicy!

So what am I? Am I a republican? An anarchist? A democrat?

Honestly dude, I am just me, do I have opinions on how a country should be run?

Of course!

Am I educated enough to convince people on how a country should be run?

I’ll let you answer that one! (the answer starts with an N and ends with an O though)

Do I think the people educated enough are doing a good job? Well just look at the news and it is quite clear.

My views? Equity, equal opportunity, racism is a no no. (Pretty basic huh? Well it’s only three things but we haven’t achieved a single one in thousands of years so you tell me)

AND NOW THE CLOSING PARAGRAPH OF PART ONE

This started as a cry for help, a hole in the balloon filled with despair and honestly, the balloon is gone, I feel so much better. So thank you Untitled Document and slowed down music compilation.

And yeah maybe I’ll continue this in more detail or maybe I won’t but for now this will remain a short story, with that said, See ya later alligator!

#ayylmao

[riskeith]

ooo! how was playing? what do you think about the event? i’m really enjoying it actually... always nice getting new daily things to do hehe.

yeah i think everyone knows The Cover now. i still can’t believe they did that... not complaining tho... oh really? you’re absolutely right and judging by the way they’re taking the story it seems like those two will have a lot more growth to their relationship. who knows maybe we’ll even get a part where bakugou apologizes or even talks about their past etc. one can only wish. YEAH i’ve seen both the movies and i love them!! they’re super fun and such a nice break from everything that happens in the anime sjskjssk kiribaku in the first one was so gay i.... we get it boys y’all in love fhjsjdjfk (THE SIDEWAYS TODOBAKU SMILE... one of my favorite moments ever) i am all caught up now.. waiting for s5... :(

no clue!! it’s just my theory so it might be wrong. the blue one was cute too so was the pink one.... they’re all cute why do we have to pick just one :( HEY you do know how to draw 😡 pretty amazingly too! but i’d love to see that in your style chongyun is so precious.. <3

omg i gotta hustle hard for AR 35 then i already miss him. i’m at 26 now and god.. it’s getting more and more difficult i can’t imagine how it is at like 45... 😭

oooooh!!! honestly barbara healing is godsent if you don’t get him you should consider it (hopefully you do though!!) IVE SEEN VIDEOS OF OCEANID AND HE LOOKS SO SCARY CLUNA.... no thoughts head empty only boy scouts party. looking at others with amazing parties: ok but do you have boy scouts party?

i mostly have sword users! but like i mentioned i’m starting to fall in love with book users (and even bow users) shskfhdkd so i might consider investing in those some day idk they just shoot of attacks and it’s so sexy. no hands dirty. ningguang seems so op 😭 plus geo is so nice!! like an all around element.

HE’S TALL? he has a short person voice...

i’m making a twitter i wanna see some fluff 😭 wait really? even this fandom is shit? why 😭 i sometimes see yt comments and the thing i’m iffy about is how people talk about spending money on it etc but is there more?

i’ve never heard anyone do that that’s so interesting!!!! do you write it down in the same doc and then delete it or do you write it separately?

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!! i’ve had so many ideas come to me before bed and i always think that i’m gonna remember them but i never do it makes me so upset. especially if it’s an idea of how to continue a story i’m stuck with... god it’s the worse. writer things 🤪

“stan loona” aka bane of my existence. i don’t usually tell ppl i used to stan because of that reason sksksj. god that was the worst sheesh. anyway. yelling at ALL of these!!! ofc i know daddy issues slowed!!!!!!!!! it’s like one of the most popular slowed songs we’re all just a sad horny bunch loving sexy vibes huh. i listen to slowed songs a lot when i write actually it sets the mood. it doesn’t even have to be anything racy sometimes it’s just calms you down. do you listen to music while you write? also i don’t listen to any of those you mentioned except troye 😭 i’m sorry 😭 but if you’re have recs i’d love to hear them ofc!!

“after school” time that’s so cute. it reminds me of when you’re younger and you run back home and eat a snack and watch cartoon (i say that as both of us still watch cartoons... yee) speaking of crying; would you consider yourself a crybaby? (such a random question hskshdjdfhhd)

before i leave; let me blow your mind with a little something... https://twitter.com/primo_fates/status/1347780975078506496?s=21

hehe... mwah. ;)

it was good!! i tried to get some ominous masks and weathered arrows, but drop rates are always shit lolll. and i think the event is alright! i don’t love it but yeah as you said it’s fun to have something more to do every day.

ikr omg... it’s such a good cover LMAO. omg a bakugou apology 😩😩. what did you think of deku vs kacchan part 2?? i regularly rewatch clips of it and cry LMAOOO god bakugou.. “why did i become the reason for all might’s end?” heart broken wow. NICE!! yeah i remember everyone freaking out over the kiribaku scenes in the first one and honestly,,,, how else do you explain it LMAO. (AND THAT SIDEWAYS SMILE!!! holy shit i watched the movie like the day after i got into todobaku and that scene obliterated me.... absolutely destroyed!) aw nice! but yeah now it’s just the waiting game i guess lol welcome to the club 🤪

IKR??? i saw the “once you pick one the others are gone” and i was just nooooooooooo whyyyy. you can’t give us all these options then don’t actually give us an option 😭 AHAHA thank u but i always joke that i can only draw well like once every 10 tries so... yeahhh we shall see! i have this thing envisioned in my mind but i am unable to execute it fskhfkdsjfs

yeah omg when i reached 45 i was like “wow i’m gonna have to do the ascension quest soon” but it’s taking me so long to reach ar 46??? yikes how am i meant to get the experience with no quests fkhdsfkjsd

i use barbara a lot in the fire domains and with the pyro regisvine!! it’s kinda funny that i’m bringing a level 40 into a level 70+ fight LOL but yeah she’s good! AND YEAHHH OCEANID LEGIT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES I JUST. as soon as i had an actual team that could beat it i grinded it as much as i could before my world level went up and it became impossible again.... but since mine might go up again soon maybe i should grind some more... and maybe i’ll be able to level up both xingqiu and barbara lol. EXACTLY!! can they pls interact in game somehow omg.. we need a bennett story!! and more razor!!!! and chongyun too!! i forgot he hasn’t actually appeared in game hfsdkjfds. and ofc xingqiu <3

fdfjlsjfs are you gonna go from a no long range team to an only long range team ahahah. and you like geo??? omg no... i hate it bc it’s so like. inert FHKDJFSD. but i guess the shields are really nice!

HE’S 172 CM!!!!! he has a baby face too so it’s pretty wild fhskdjds

ooo wdym how they talk about spending money? i don’t really look at youtube comments tbh lol. and i haven’t really seen people talk about spending money much on twitter? tho some content creators i follow open commissions for money for the gacha fhsdfksj. if you do end up joining genshintwt i hope you have fun!! 

same doc and then i delete! but sometimes if the plan is really long i’ll make a new doc so i can see both at the same time (but recently i’ve just been opening the same doc again so i can see both that way lol). do your dotpoints go into the same doc as your writing one?

LMAOOO yeah i’m always like “hnghhh okay it’s fine.. i will Remember... trust myself” and then i never do and it’s just like welp goodbye to that amazing idea. but also bc it was thought up at such a weird time maybe it isn’t actually that good after all LOL

oh nice!! yeah slowed songs are soooo good. and i usually do listen to music! it’ll depend on what i’m writing bc i like the songs to have a similar vibe, but sometimes it’s too distracting so i put on lofi or something so there are no words ahaha. oh rippp LOL! hmm well badlands by halsey was my klance/voltron album writing soundtrack for a really long time.. i wrote a few fics with that in the background i think! melanie martinez’ k-12 album has a whole free movie to go with it! if you wanna check that out. bastille’s pompeii was really popular but i also really like flaws and of the night from them.. a lot of these are older bc i don’t listen to new stuff fhsdfkjds. and hmm pentatonix (they’re an acapella group!) do a lot of covers so maybe you can find one of a song you like and check them out that way? ahah that’s a lot feel free to not listen to any!! no stress at all lmao

oh fun fact melanie has a idk what to call it character? and song called ‘crybaby’! so very coincidental you asked. but yeah i think i am? LMAOOO like if i’m alone in my room watching something and it’s sad i Will Not hesitate to cry.. like sometimes you just gotta get it out you know? and sometimes maybe it’s a little boy singing a korean cover of colours of the wind but it’s so ethereal you just burst into tears but that’s fine! FHDSKJFHDSFKJS. how about you?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD!! i legit. my jaw is dropped. i. oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 FHSJFKHSKDJF1!!!! 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is so atmospheric and cosy and warm 😭😭😭 i can go at peace now.. fhskfhdsjf

thank you always!! - c.r. xoxo

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

[astronomyparkers]

Trouble

Warnings: Language, violence, blood

Pairing: Boxer!Harrison Osterfield x reader

Word count: 3.2k

A/N: Alright, guys, this au won by a landslide in my poll!  I’ve never written anything solely for Harrison before, so I’m excited to see where this fic will go!  I haven’t written without a straight plan since I wrote Skyline, so I’m kind of excited to do it again! Please let me know what you think, and if you’d like to see more.

{masterlist}

If money wasn’t so tight, there was no way you’d be doing this.

You’d thought it over a thousand times, running every possible scenario and outcome in your head. More often than not, those scenarios ended badly.  Yet here you were, standing at the edge of stairs that led to a gym below the streets of New York City.  Men pushed past you to get below, muttering quick apologies as they bumped into you. None of them were sincere, but why would they be?  They didn’t care about you.  You, on the other hand…you were being paid to care about them.  They were why you were here.

The offer had been posted on a bulletin board in the nursing student’s lounge on campus.  It was a crumpled piece of paper, with a handwritten message scribbled across it.  You had spotted it when you were looking at the board for a summer job, and the uniqueness of it caught your eye.  You pulled it down from the board, reading it over.

WANTED:

Looking for an individual with medical background/first aid training.

Complete medical degree not required.

For all inquiries, contact Patrick Lawson.

You ran your fingers over the phone number listed.  It was a peculiar request, to say the least.  Patrick Lawson, whoever he was, seemed to be searching for someone with medical training, but didn’t require a full medical professional.  Still…a job was a job.  And it seemed to be the most promising thing on the board.

Later that day, you called the number.  You had set up a meeting with Patrick at a Starbucks a few blocks away from campus. When you walked in, you knew instantly who he was.  The burly man by the window with a long scar across his weathered face, and the smell of cigarette smoke wafting from him, seemed to be the only patron who would hire unlicensed medical personnel.

“Hi.” You had walked over slowly. “Are you Patrick Lawson?”

“That depends.” He looked you up and down, a small smirk at the corner of his mouth. “Who’s asking?”

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N. We spoke on the phone?” You took the advertisement out of your bag and handed it to him.

“Right.” Patrick nodded, motioning to the chair across from him. “Sit down.”

“Alright.” You took a seat slowly. “So…you didn’t say what kind of job—”

“What are your medical credentials?” Patrick cut across you, sipping his coffee.

You remembered thinking that that was rude, and completely unprofessional for an interview.  Of course, now that you actually knew Patrick, it seemed in character.

“I’m a third-year nursing student at NYU Meyer.” You had answered. “And I’m trained in first aid.”

“You ever stitched somebody up before?”

You frowned. “Um, yes, but—”

“What about set broken bones?  Noses?”

You had glanced around the coffee shop.  Was anyone else hearing this?  When the answer to that question appeared to be no, you leaned forward.

“Mr. Lawson, what exactly is this a job interview for?”

 What it was for, it turned out, was an underground boxing ring in the heart of New York.  Patrick owned the gym that everyone fought in, and it was a growing business.  The only downside was with no regulations, men got injured.  A lot.  And because the boxing was illegal, they couldn’t exactly keep going to the hospital…which was where you came in.

Patrick hired you to be on-call medical attention.  For three hundred dollars a night, you would watch illegal boxing matches with a first-aid kit by your side.  If anyone got injured too bad, they would bring them back to the locker rooms, where you’d be waiting.  There, you would bandage cuts, check for concussions, set broken bones, stitch people up with no anesthetic…

You shuddered, looking at the gym door again.  Okay, so it wasn’t an ideal situation, and you weren’t looking forward to it in the least. But being a student in New York wasn’t exactly cheap, and the money was good, even if it was dirty.  Really dirty.  Probably bloody, from the fighters that you’d be expected to stitch up from awful injuries—

“Don’t.” You muttered to yourself, taking a deep breath. “Everything is going to be okay.  It’s fine.  This is fine.”

“Hey, lady.” A man came up behind you, giving you a strange look. “Are you going to stare at the door all night, or are you going to open it?”

“Sorry.” You said sheepishly, stepping out of his way.  You followed him down the steps and walked through the door.

You weren’t sure what you expected an underground boxing gym to look like, but the room in front of you pretty much met your expectations.  The gym was dark, with one bright light in the center hanging over the beaten-up ring.  There were a few mats scattered around, along with people getting ready to watch that night’s match.  Everyone you saw looked like the belonged at an illegal gym, and in your outfit, your demeanor…you had never felt more out of place.

Holding your head up, you continued on, trying to look like you belonged.  You made your way to the back hallway, heading for Patrick’s office. The air was getting thicker and thicker with cigarette smoke, so you knew you must be close.

“Patrick?” You knocked on the door at the end of the hallway.

A rough voice answered from the other side of the door. “Yeah.  Come in.”

You opened the door, coughing a bit when a wall of cigarette smoke hit you. “Hi…?”

“Hey, Doc.” Patrick had a cigarette tucked between his lips as he spoke. “How you doing?”

“I’m—I’m good.” You said softly, a bit nervously. “I just wanted to check in before the match.”

“Good.  Here.” Patrick stood up and walked to a cupboard in his office, pulling out a weathered leather case. “This has everything you should need in it.”

He handed the case to you, and you opened it slowly.  Inside was an assortment of medical supplies.  Bandages, antiseptics, not-yet-frozen cold compresses, painkillers, a stitch kit… “I’ll need all of this?”

“Look around you, Doc. This isn’t a daycare.” Patrick snorted, puffing on his cigarette. “We bare knuckle box.  We don’t have personal physicians checking up on us, rules, regulations…this is about making money.  And sometimes, it gets messy.”

“But if you needed a medical professional, then why didn’t you get someone who’s finished school?” You asked curiously, shutting the case and clasping it shut.

“Because medical professionals have a duty to report abuse to the cops.” Patrick shrugged. “You don’t. And students need the money more.”

“What happened to your last student?”

Patrick exhaled sharply. “He pissed off the wrong guy and went from being the doctor to being the patient.  That’s why I hired a pretty lady this time.”

You scoffed. “Wow.  I don’t know if I should be thankful or offended.”

“Probably both.” Patrick chuckled. “Look, Doc, the last guy had a mouth on him.  He deserved it.  But if any guy in here says shit to you…lemme know.  Got it?”

“Got it.” You picked up the case again. “So I just…wait by the ring?”

Patrick nodded, tucking his cigarette back in his mouth as he flipped through papers. “You got it. Watch the match.  Have some fun, have a drink…if anything goes too wrong, I’ll pull you up to the ring.  If everything is fine, you’ll come back to the locker room after the match to make sure my guys don’t have a concussion.”

“Sounds…good.” You tightened your grip on the case. “I’ll go to the audience, then.”

Patrick nodded, and you exited his office to head for the ring.

 By the time you made it down to your station by the edge of the ring, people were already filling the gym. The smell of alcohol, cigarette smoke, and sweat was thick in the air, and you got jostled a few times by men you didn’t know.  By the time the lights dimmed, the screaming audience occupied the entire space.

You watched with curiosity as the first man walked out.  He looked to be over six feet, and had a heavy build.  His head was shaved, and he spat on the ground before getting into the ring.  You wrinkled your nose, but the audience seemed to love the display.

“As last year’s reigning champion, Adam Bowers is aiming to maintain his title this season.” The announcer said into the microphone. “Can he do it, folks?”

The crowd cheered louder. You rolled your eyes a bit.  For illegal boxing, the crowd seemed to take it pretty seriously.

Then the next man came out, and you immediately became concerned.

His build was slimmer than Bowers’, and he was much shorter.  The crowd cheered as he entered the ring, but not nearly as much as they cheered for his opponent.

“And facing our champion is rookie Harrison Osterfield, who just started training three months ago…”

You leaned over to one of the people next to you. “Don’t they use weight classes to match fighters? Bowers seems so much bigger than him…”

“This is illegal fighting, sweetheart.” The man laughed a bit, taking a sip of his beer. “They don’t care about weight classes.  They care about putting on a good show, so they can make money.”

“Oh…” You turned your attention back to the ring.  Harrison Osterfield was looking at you with crystal blue eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. He nodded before turning back around.

You shivered.  You had a sneaking suspicion that you’d be setting his bones before the end of the night.

However, when the bell rang, you started to doubt yourself.  Bowers seemed to be powerful, yes, but Harrison was quick on his feet. He dodged more punches than he received, and only stood still long enough to land his own hits on Bowers. The audience was shocked at first, but then began to cheer loudly.  The cheering got louder when blood from Bowers’ nose splattered onto the floor of the ring.

You winced, finding Patrick in the crowd.  You raised an eyebrow, but he shook his head.  This was fine.

The crowd collectively groaned when Bowers landed a good punch to Harrison’s gut, making him double over.  They groaned again when he landed another punch on Harrison’s jaw, knocking him down. You thought that the fight was over, but Harrison proved you wrong, quickly standing up again with a grunt. He spat out the blood from his mouth onto the mat before attacking Bowers with new energy.

The crowd roared louder than before as Harrison pummelled his opponent.  He hit him once, then again, and again, until Bowers went down.  The referee began to count, but Bowers didn’t rise.

“Harrison Osterfield seems to have begun his journey with a win!” The announcer yelled, barely audible above the cheering crowd.  Harrison wiped his bleeding mouth again, grinning as the referee raised his arm in the air.  You made eye contact again, and he winked at you.

You watched as his trainer jumped into the ring, another man that seemed to be around his age.  He raised Harrison’s arm to celebrate a bit more before pulling him out of the ring.  Patrick’s hand on your own arm was the only thing that distracted you from the scene.

“Come on.” Patrick muttered. “Time to get to work, Doc.”

You nodded your head, refocusing on the task at hand. “Yes.  Right.”

Patrick led you through the crowd, walking in front so he could clear a path for you.  You walked down the hallway, past his office, towards the locker rooms.  You could hear groaning get louder and louder, echoing around you as you entered. For a moment, your mind flashed to Harrison, but then your eyes settled on Bowers with a hand to his nose, head tilted back.

“You need to lean forward.” You said immediately, sitting down next to Bowers as you opened your case.

Bowers grunted. “I’m bleeding, sweetheart—”

“And leaning back is causing the blood to run down your throat.  It’s harmful to your health, sweetheart.” You countered, shooting him a glare before slipping on gloves.

Patrick chuckled. “I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Bowers.  Don’t piss off the person about to set your nose.”

You shot Patrick a small smile.  Despite his hardened exterior, he seemed to be the only person in this gym that was looking out for you.

Upon examination, you found that Harrison had broken Bowers’ nose.  You gave him some pain medication and applied a cold compress before making a splint, setting it as best as you could.

“There.” You sat back and pulled off your bloody gloves. “That should be okay.  Keep taking ibuprofen to help with the pain and swelling.  If it doesn’t seem to heal, try going to a real doctor. Alright?”

Bowers nodded jerkily. “Yeah.  Alright.”

“What do you say to the Doc, Bowers?” Patrick prompted him.

The boxer glared at you. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” You replied curtly, closing your case before standing up again. “Let’s go check on Harrison.”

 After washing your hands, Patrick led you down to another section of the locker room, where Harrison was leaning against a locker.  It appeared he had showered, as there was a towel around his neck, and he was wearing grey sweatpants instead of his athletic shorts.  His chest was damp, and still bare.  He looked up when you entered the room, looking you up and down.

“Patrick.” He said lowly. You were surprised to hear he had an accent. “Who’s this?”

“This is Doc Y/L/N.” Patrick lit a cigarette. “She’s the one who’s going to be saving your injured ass.”

“You can just call me Y/N.” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly at his words. “I’m just going to make sure you’re alright, Harrison.”

Harrison chuckled. “I think I did more damage to my opponent than he did to me.”

“Bloody hell, Haz. Let the Doc check you over, yeah?” A voice said from behind you.

You glanced over your shoulder and saw Harrison’s trainer walking towards you.  He made his way to the lockers and crossed his arms. “Sit down, Osterfield.  Now. You can’t fight if you’re injured.”

“And I’m telling you, I’m not.” Harrison rolled his eyes.

“No offense, but I don’t think you’re qualified to decide that or not.” You said slowly, setting down your medical kit.  You opened it and pulled out a new pair of rubber gloves. “Please sit down, Harrison.”

“C’mon, Harrison.” His trainer said in exasperation. “Listen to…?”

“Y/N.” You said quickly. “And you are…?”

“Tom.  Holland.” He nodded at you before turning back to Harrison. “Sit.  Now.”

Harrison huffed, but did as Tom said.  

Looking him up and down, you thought back to the match, and the injuries he could have sustained. There was bruising already starting to form on his jaw and his ribs.

“Patrick, could you grab me a cold compress?” You asked, rummaging in your kit for your stethoscope.

Patrick went to grab what you requested, and you listened to Harrison’s heartbeat, as well as his breathing. “Do you have any abdominal pain?  Any shortness in breath, or dizziness?”

Harrison shook his head. “No.  None at all.”

By the time you took his blood pressure, Patrick had returned with a compress for Harrison. You set it on his jaw as you gently touched his face.

“You have some bruising and swelling, but nothing is broken.  No internal bleeding, either.  At least, nothing detectable.” You sighed, allowing him to take the compress from you.  You pulled off your gloves. “I think you’re good to go, but if you start experiencing nausea, dizziness, or bleeding from any orifices, then you need to go to the doctor.”

“Alright.  Can I get your number, then?  Just in case?” Harrison asked with a smirk.

You blinked for a moment. “I meant a real doctor.  In a hospital.  With real equipment.”

“Is that a no, then?”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Harrison, for Christ sakes.  Focus on what’s important, alright?”

You cleared your throat and stood up, shutting your case. “Well, if that’s everything…”

“Right.  Time for you to go.” Patrick tapped the ash off his cigarette. “Let’s head back to my office.”

Once you reached his office, you tucked the case back into his cupboard while Patrick opened the safe hidden in his wall.  He pulled out an envelope, counting out twenty-dollar bills until he reached three hundred. “Here, Doc.  You did good tonight.”

“Thanks.” You took the money from him, tucking it inside your jacket. “I’m just glad I didn’t need to stitch anyone up.”

“This time.” Patrick laughed.  He stubbed out his cigarette before lighting a fresh one.  

You eyed the cigarette. “Smoking kills, you know.”

“I run an illegal boxing ring.  Do you think I care?” He raised an eyebrow, exhaling a stream of smoke.

You shrugged, and Patrick laughed. “Thanks for the concern, Doc.”

“Anytime.” You walked to his door, pausing in the frame. “Patrick?”

“Yeah?”

“Was that really Harrison’s first match?”

Patrick nodded. “It was. He showed up on the scene a few months ago, asked me for a shot in the ring.  I told him, bulk up, train hard, and we’d talk again in six months.  The kid was ready to go in half that time.  I’m not impressed easily, but Harrison…he impressed me.  And he made me a lot of money tonight.”

“In ticket sales?”

“Tickets.  And bets.” Patrick shrugged a bit, shutting his safe again. “No one expected him to win.”

“Right.” You murmured.

“Hey, Doc…how about I give you some advice?  In return for the oh so sweet smoking comment?” Patrick said dryly. “Don’t get too invested in any of these guys.  Harrison especially.”

“I’m not invested.” You said defensively.

“Of course not.  And you should keep it that way.”

You couldn’t help your curiosity. “Why?”

Patrick sighed, puffing on his cigarette. “Everyone has a reason for being here, doing what they’re doing.  And those kind of men…they tend to have trouble follow them.”

“What kind of trouble?” A crease formed between your eyebrows.

“The kind of trouble that ends up following anyone around them, too.” Patrick tapped his cigarette into his ashtray. “You seem like a sweet kid.  You’ve got a bright future.  I’d hate to see it be ruined by that kind of trouble.”

Your eyes flickered to the ground. “So would I.”

“So we’re on the same page. Good.” Patrick nodded in satisfaction, leaning back in his chair. “Now you go straight home, alright?  It’s not safe for you to be wandering around New York this time of night.”

You did as Patrick said, leaving and immediately going home.  But even after you locked your front door behind you, made some tea, locked away the money you made that night, finished some readings for class, got ready for bed…even after you climbed under your covers…you couldn’t shake the feeling that avoiding Harrison would let you avoid trouble.  

No.  You had a feeling that trouble had already found you.

#i need more gif choices for this au nothing fits #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #harrison osterfield x you #boxer!harrison #boxer!haz #haz osterfield #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x you #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield imagines #im gonna regret posting this at 1 am #catch-22 #writing #marvel fanfiction #mcu #marvel imagines #im stretching these tags lmao

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 2x10 I See a Darkness

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) This bitch had better not hurt Nicole!! Why does she think Nicole has the seal????

2) YEAAAAHHHH!!

Waverly and Nicole are in a fight, but damn did Wave kick some old widow ass! Both of them did! Damn, that was a tense cold open! But… how many times are the writers going to put Nicole in danger? She’s like the Willow of this show.

3) I really like how the Sheriff has turned around about Wynonna and the Earps? Like, I remember how in the first episodes he came across as this misogynistic douche who was oblivious to and/or complicit in the deeds of the dark forces around town and now… he’s not? But it wasn’t a sudden change, it was slow and reasonable.

4) It was also very sweet to hear Wynonna talking to a faceless Mercedes because when she first arrived in town, I felt that she would become Wynonna’s first friend of her own, and then the whole possessed-by-an-ancient-widow happened and that was it.

5) Wynonna just learned that Waverly cheated on Nicole with Rosita, who is also, btw, a revenant! But… hadn’t Wave promised Rosita that she wouldn’t rat her out to Wynonna? I know she’s freaking out over Nicole’s condition, but… not cool, Waves, not cool.

6) Dolls is saying that Nicole has two or three hours at best, and I’m here like  NOT TODAY SATAN! YOU’RE NOT TAKING NICOLE!

7) Like, I hope Waverly doesn’t help Bitchy McWidow because what evidence does she really have that they truly have the cure for Nicole’s bite? At the same time, she’s in love and she feels guilty – on two accounts, her cheating and Nicole getting bitten to save her – and she might act stupid, again? I wouldn’t be shocked…

8) Nicole is using her last bit of strength to help Wynonna figure out what Mercedes meant before she bit her, and also, to ask Wynonna to… kill her…? If things go south? And I know Nicole can’t die. I mean, I think I know? But at the same time, it breaks my heart to think she might?

9) Ay ay ay…

Nicole is nearly dying and she’s apologizing to Waverly because of the DNA test thing and she ought to because she was wrong but at the same time, here she is, DYING because she tried to protect Waverly and Waverly basically cheated on her and it’s all so UGHHHH

10) Now, Jeremy is explaining how he needs to do more testing to come up with a cure and Waverly offered herself up for the testing and he’s like “no, you’re human, it will kill you (like it’s killing Nicole)” and isn’t this the perfect opportunity for Waverly to come clean and say “hey, I think I’m half-revenant so let’s get with the testing!”?

11) And now Waves is freaking out about the broken mug and what if they can’t fix it, and we know she’s not talking about the mug and it breaks my heart.

12) “Doc could find a dildo in a nunnery”. I LOVE YOU, WYNONNA EARP.

13) I thought it was impossible to love Doc any more than I already do, and here he’s all tough and drunk and playing poker with revenants and he’s telling Wynonna how she must dreaming if she thinks his mortal self is going to help her fight the widows until he hears the words “Nicole is dying” and he’s on his feet and all “Lead the way.” My heart!

14) Waverly is seriously considering making a deal with Bitchy McWidow… and… as a general rule, maybe don’t make deals with people who say goodbye by saying “ta ta for now”?

15) Nicole was MARRIED?! WTF!

16) Peachy. Brendan Fehr just burned JC to ashes and now they will need another test subject with the venom in their blood. Aaaand he’s also asking Dolls for Wynonna’s baby? Obviously, demons and cults are coming after the baby.

17) Wait, was Dolls taken by Black Badge when he was a baby? Did I get that right? I’m?

18) Ugh, Nicole’s wife is all (un)intentionally “I know her better than you do” and Waverly feels useless and guilty and she’s going to do something stupid, isn’t she?

19) Hmm. Wynonna is acting all petty towards Rosita basically because she’s jealous. She can pretend it’s because Rosita is a revenant or because she might blame Rosita for Waverly cheating on Nicole… but when it comes down to it, she never really liked her ONLY because she’s with Doc. And Rosita is right, she didn’t need to threaten her, she just needed to ask.

20) And now Rosita has injected herself with the venom in spite of Jeremy’s protests and I like her 100% more.

21) Oh, damn, Mercedes got the Sheriff! That’s what she meant by “the law” and being at the right place but the wrong time!

22) Ugh, she’s beating him up and he’s all sassy and not giving her anything! Bless his soul! But what does she mean he knows where the seal is?

23) Damn, now Dolls is offering himself up to be the test subject and will every one act like a freaking hero in this episode? I can’t take it!

24) “What are you? A witch? A Pokemon?” It must’ve been worth it to get bitch-slapped for that burn, right? But now she’s breaking his fingers and I bet he regrets it a little bit?

25) The Doctor Ex-Wife needs to choose an attitude, like, one second she’s “you don’t know her at all” and the next she’s all “she really loves you, Waverly Earp.” Lady, make up your mind, you’re either cool or you’re not.

26) Now, this seems a bit convenient…

Mattie the Blacksmith just happened to have a sister who happened to be an Iron Witch who happened to work at the same hospital where Nicole is at when she happened to be bitten and happened to have iron coursing through her veins. Hmm. It’s just a tad too convenient, isn’t it?

And of course, Waverly is offering to do anything for her in exchange for Nicole’s cure, and the witch is all shady “anything…?”

27) She just basically wrote her a prescription? She just mumbled some ancient words or some shit and voila? Really? After spending the whole episode freaking out because they couldn’t come up with a cure? Seriously?! Come on, it should’ve taken at least more than a conversation over the counter…

28) Ugh, she fucking led Waverly to the third seal…

29) MY SHIP IS NOT DEAD!

Look at them being all flirty and joking about what a big turn-on Doc’s detective skills are and looking like an expecting married couple???

But also, Wynonna just promised to “stay in the driver’s seat” and I’m calling BULLSHIT!

30) Yeah, Wynonna, straighten that bitch out!

She did stay in the driver’s seat, though. My bad.

31) So Wynonna had trusted the Sheriff with the third seal! That is SO SWEET! But damn, now Waverly has it and she doesn’t know that they are holding Mercedes hostage and that they might get the cure… please, don’t be stupid, Waverly.

32) Oh, dang, that’s the face of someone who messed up…

33) But damn if this hug isn’t the sweetest thing ever? Wynonna truly loves Nicole.

34) What did you do, Waverly?

Well, I guess the Big Bad is coming.

35) Why does the Iron Witch want this…?

36) WTF now she’s whispering Wynonna’s name and “disappear” and WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WAVERLY!!!

37) SHE MADE DOC DISAPPEAR!!! BRING HIM BACK YOU WITCH!!!

38) WHAT??? WYNONNA’S GONE??? AND EVERYONE’S ACTING AS IF SHE’D NEVER EXISTED???? AND THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS HER IS THIS POOR BASTARD WHO IS STUCK INSIDE THE WELL AGAIN????

39) Damn damn damn! What an amazing episode!! It felts like a season finale? But it isn’t, and I’m like how?! And Wynonna knew what to do right before she disappeared, but now she’s gone and Waverly is planning a wedding…? Is she the heir now? Is this what happened? And the witch said: two sisters, one will disappear, and the other will have to leave with it. But Waverly doesn’t remember Wynonna? Where is Wynonna? In an alternate universe or something? Will she have her baby there?! This show, I swear to god, when I think I’ve figured it out they pulled something completely unique and unexpected. Granted, I felt the whole Iron Witch showing up and giving Waverly the cure they’d been desperately looking for the whole episode VERY plot-convenient, but I can overlook that thanks to this amazing plot twist! I guess Melanie had to take some time off to have the baby and wow, what a great way to write her character temporarily off! I can’t wait to see what this new Wynonna-less reality is like? Seriously, THANK YOU so much for making me watch this show, it’s truly amazing!

40) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Wynona Earp #Waverly Earp #Nicole Haught #Doc Holliday #Xavier Dolls #Wynonna Earp 2x10 #WE recap #WE 2x10 #recap #mine

[leviathiane]

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE) 

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/) 

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units) 

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch: 

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell. 

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine. 

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include: 

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8] 

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9] 

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame. 

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything. 

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic 

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

#depths' ask #response #idk what to even tag this honestly?? this post is such a mess abhdsjfgdkjn #thanks mido love u dear 💕🎉 im gonna want some damn notes on second chances heads up #wror #wror stockpile #touchmycoat #i started this response at goddamn 3:52am and its now 4:40am #it took me. almost an HOUR #oh my god

[homestucky]

Davekat fic recs?

hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them

also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY

M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE)  is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death 

Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE)  i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical  (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting. 

To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck  (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;

Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok  (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )

Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717  (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)

The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist  (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot

The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus  (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not  always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess

The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa

Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes. 

three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised

An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.

turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.

Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly

Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it

Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing

Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu

First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!

Feathered by AlloftheFandom  (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….

Soulmates by egossweetheart  (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,

 Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho

The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….

anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #fanfiction #dave #karkat #ask #long post

[queerlyglittering]

LETTER BOY UPDATE

ok! This is long overdue lmao. but until the other day I was feeling a bit mopey and sad and also just generally tired and didn’t wanna talk about it BUT THEN  E X T R E M E L Y  LONG POST AHEAD

so lemme see where I last left off re: Letter Boy.... ok so like, to recap: there for a while we’d barely been talking. He didn’t have time to write to me most of the time, and then half the time when we did write to each other our letters kept getting lost in the mail, etc etc. I know I’d been like pretty obsessive over the whole letter-writing thing for a while so I thought I’d been pushing him away and like at one point I wrote him a goodbye letter? Like I was really out here like “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much, I’ll leave you alone now” like what sort of passive-aggressive bitchy monster lmao. And then eventually I was like nah fuck that, that’s not ok and I’m not leaving things like that, so I wrote him an apology and we kinda got back to talking a bit. And then he finally wrote me back! And his letter was deeply personal and emotional and I cried! He came out as ace! He told me he loved me! The absolute drama of it all! (Which it turns out, at that point he didn’t mean it in terms of like, romantic love, just like... he really cared about me as a person and was glad that he felt comfortable to write about his experiences re: being ace to me and it was sort of cathartic. BUT THEN!) So I wrote back almost immediately, telling him that I loved him too and that he was valid and shit lmao. That was all back in late May/early June I think... tbh I don’t remember what happened over the summer, lemme go back and reread our messages? b/c I know neither of us has physically written to the other since then.  Ok so we messaged a bit about potentially meeting up at a Pride festival, either there in Houston or up in Dallas, but the timing just generally didn’t work out in our favor for either event, so we wound up not going. And then we kinda sporadically messaged each other here and there, usually when he was stressed with school or I was stressed with work, etc, but we barely talked off and on for a couple months. Then I started my current job, and my sleep cycle got outta whack for a few weeks, and that’s when things started to get interesting again lmao

ok so sometime near the end of August, he had like a minor depressive episode or something in the middle of the night and messaged me at like 4 am saying he felt “gross and sad” and I slept through that because it was Saturday but I wound up waking up at like 6:30 out of habit from getting up for work, and I ended up calling him and we talked for a while and I vented about some stuff in my life too and then we both went back to sleep lmao. And after that things got a little more active in terms of communication; like y’all know me, I’m a Needy Bitch, so of course I wound up messaging him like once every couple days or so whenever I started to miss him and needed Attention. Like it kinda started with a tarot reading I got, just a standard past/present/future 3-card reading, but she pulled the Lovers for my present, so I mean.... and basically she said something about there being a person in my life whom I had feelings for, and who reciprocated those feelings, but there was a communications disconnect, and the relationship was getting to a point where it could begin to go stale, and that we shouldn’t block ourselves off from progress. After that reading I reached out and messaged him again, and we ended up literally speaking every day for a week. Like I think I’d made a post about that on here about not messaging him for the 8th day in a row and thought I was exaggerating but then I went back and counted and IT ACTUALLY WAS THE 8TH DAY, WOW AUDREY, YOU’RE OFFICIALLY ANNOYING. So I tried to get better about leaving him alone lmao but I started messaging him a bunch of stuff about my singing, because my old community had a brief resurgence in September. and he said he wanted to sing something with me someday and I’m 🥰🥰

So then at one point I had mentioned coming down to Houston for the weekend of the SFA/Sam Houston State game (which was last weekend, 10/5-6) with my friend, and ditching the game to hang out with him instead. I kinda let the subject drop for a couple weeks because at that point it was almost a month out and I wasn’t 100% sure I was gonna be able to go so I didn’t want to get both our hopes up. But then work started being really shitty and dicking me around about my schedule change that was supposed to have happened once I got out of training, and my home life wasn’t gr8 either, so I kinda latched onto that weekend trip as like a bright spot, or something to hope for. Something to keep me going. And he’d basically forgotten about it, which is fine, except I wound up springing it back on him at the last minute lmao. But then my friend who I was supposed to go with (because I can’t drive so she was gonna drive us down there) was like ‘nah I’m not going to the game, I have no money for tickets.’ So I was like well shit, there goes my happy thing. And I talked to her about it and basically begged her to just go down to Houston for the weekend anyway, I’d get us a hotel and everything, because I needed this. So she was like ‘alright, look at hotels.’ But then HER friend got very sick, like in-the-hospital having-mysterious-seizures sick, and she went to go stay with her in the hospital for a few days because the girl’s husband was being a dick about it (it turned out to just be an infection from a contact lens that got stuck in her eye and like melted??? idk. but it was BAD AND SCARY). But that was like Wednesday-Friday of the week we were supposed to go to Houston on that weekend and I wasn’t sure she’d be up to going. So I asked last minute if she still wanted to go or if I should cancel the hotel (not realizing that it was too late to cancel it anyway lmao RIP) and she said ‘ok sure but I wanna bring my kid, since I’ve been away from her for 3 whole days.’ I was like that’s fine, I already thought you were gonna bring her lol. So we wound up going down there on Saturday but we left a bit later than we’d meant to, and by the time we got to town, Letter Boy was already at work. So I missed him that day. The three of us (me, friend & kiddo) wound up swimming in the hotel pool and then ordering Chinese takeout for dinner so that was pretty fun. 

Then the next day, Sunday! Letter Boy called as we were checking out of the hotel to try and figure out what the plan was, where we could meet up, etc. We decided to meet at the mall nearby, since it was an easy landmark for all parties, and we could find each other pretty easily there. He took me (and my friend and her kid, though apparently that wasn’t the plan, and he would’ve preferred to spend time with just me; she even gave me the option to not have the two of them meet us at the restaurant and I decided not to take it because i was a nervous anxious coward lmao) out to lunch at this Korean place in town, where he loves to eat. We played a few rounds of a card game and talked and ate and it was great fun. Then he had to bail and go to work, and we had an interesting goodbye because I’d been out here trying to respect his personal space and all because from what he’d said in his coming-out letter, it sounded very much like he was touch-averse - but then he hugged me goodbye? and kept coming back for more hugs?! like “one more? ok just one more? and one more?” like nonstop for a good five minutes lmao. I was a bit confused but I loved it (my primary love language is physical touch; hugs are my kryptonite. And he gives AMAZING hugs. like I may have even actually dreamed about his hugs before I ever got to experience one, but that’s whole other post lol). Anyway so after that my friend and I went to hang out at her brother’s in-laws’ place because they lived in the area lol. Letter Boy had asked me to message him once I got there, so I did. I told him I wished I could’ve spent more time with him one-on-one, and he said “well if you’re still in town maybe you can sneak away when I get my break later” So I basically said hell yes, just tell me where to meet you, lol. We wound up meeting up at Starbucks and getting coffee and continuing to talk and hang out for the half hour of his break, and he really didn’t want to leave when it was time for him to go. Like he actually contemplated kidnapping me and bringing me to work with him lmao. If my ride hadn’t already been on her way, I would’ve gone with him in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to leave either. And he told me he loved me again!  🥰🥰🥰 It was sappy and sweet and just aghhhh <3

So that was a week ago today! And there’s been some interesting developments since then too. Starting off with that Sunday night when I got home, I’d had too much coffee (starbucks messed up my order and had to remake it so I ended up drinking both lmao, big mistake). So I was over-caffeinated and v emotional and couldn’t sleep so I started writing out all my anxious confused feelings in letter form, and wound up just linking Letter Boy to the Google Doc I’d been writing in. This was at almost 2 AM. Apparently I woke him up and he read it and replied to me over messenger and basically we talked about how like. when he first said he loved me in the letter, he didn’t necessarily mean it in a romantic context but it was definitely more than just platonic and he wasn’t sure how to quantify that. But now that we’d met in person, and got to spend some actual time together, he felt a little differently and that he was ��not 100% sure but WAAAY more than 50% sure” that he loved me romantically, because partially because he’s ace, he’s just kinda unsure about romantic relationships in general and he’s reluctant to commit to them because the sex thing always becomes an issue. I reassured him that I completely understand and respect his orientation and would never ask him to change that aspect of himself or do anything that would make him uncomfortable, and he seemed immensely relieved. At this point I’m honestly not even sure how much of his feelings are genuinely for/about me, and how much of them are just some sort of general euphoria at having someone basically validate his orientation and his existence, because he’d spent so long being mocked and tormented by friends and lovers alike, and basically just feeling broken and worthless. And I completely understand that reaction. I’m not even sure I care if that’s all this is, if it comes down to it; I’m happy to be here to love and support him and make sure he never feels less than whole and valid again, no matter my context in his life. I just want him to be happy. I’d love to be the one who makes him happy, but if ultimately that is not my part in his life, then so be it. I’m at peace with it.

Anyway so that was Sunday night, we talked a little bit on Monday and Tuesday and then like,, nothing at all for a few days? And so of course my immediate instinct is that I came on too strong and pushed him away, just because he doesn’t want to talk to me every day?? so I got all mopey and sad and weird, because I thought I’d scared him off and lost him and idk. Also I was in a funk b/c my hormones are being wacky this week; I don’t really get periods per se with my IUD, but sometimes I’ll get phantom cramps and/or mood swings, etc. but this past week i’ve been spotting and cramping AND moody af, so that’s been fun. So I’d been all weird and sad and shit, and thinking he didn’t want to talk to me = he didn’t want me, and I was so paranoid and afraid because I still think this whole thing is too good to be true and I can’t trust it. I know it’s silly and far too early to be serious and it’ll never last and probably won’t end well. I know that it’s fun and easy and idealistic and won’t stand up to reality or practicality, when it eventually has to face them. So I’ve been bracing myself for that ending ever since it began. And I know three days isn’t very long, but after having a whole conversation about how we love each other, and how we love each other, it felt like an eternity. BUT THEN!!!!!!!!!

So ok, we did talk briefly on Friday, in passing. but it was a very short little conversation; the only major thing to come out of it was a further confirmation that yes, he’s serious about coming up here to see me. BUT THEN Saturday night (10/12), he got home from seeing Eric Andre perform live, and he was hanging out with his sister and drinking and generally being a goof, and he messaged me! UPDATE: It’s now sunday 10/20 and I’m still writing this. idk it’s been a lot, everything else in my life has been rough lately, idk. im not feeling as positively about this as i was before, but i’ll keep writing the update. I’ve written too much

SO! Anyway. he came home from the comedy show thing, and he was hanging out with his sister watching some Japanese reality show and drinking, and he messaged me out of the blue. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that he doesn’t generally reach out to me first and he’s not too expressive generally but whenever he’s intoxicated in some way, be it alcohol or pot or even benadryl, he gets really effusively, gushily mushy and sweet. So on this occasion he was drunk, or at least tipsy, and that means he was being extra affectionate and dumb lmao. He started out telling me about his night and then hit me with the “I wish you were heeeerrrrreeeeeeee” lol. And he said something about how one day when he graduates, we should get a place together, where we can “be non-binary and own our dreams” (the second time he’s mentioned possibly being nonbinary to me - or possibly third time, he said something in passing about being confused about gender roles, in a context that implied ‘in relation to himself.’ meanwhile I haven’t actually said anything at all to him about me being nonbinary, he just kinda assumed b/c i have a rly butch-y looking haircut rn lmao. but like.. he ain’t wrong tho 😂 so that’s a conversation that we need to actually have sometime.) He was like “it’s sorta romantic that you live up there and I live down here and we’re so far apart and we have to just kinda pine after each other basically” and i was like oh good, I’m not the only one pining lmao. But then he asked me to come with him when he moves to Japan to teach English there, sometime after he finishes his degree. Which like, I wish I could go with him, and I know that if we’re still talking at that point/especially if we actually get together, it’s gonna be hard to be that far away from him and I’m gonna miss him. But it’s just eminently not practical. I don’t have any college degree and I don’t speak a lick of Japanese, there’s no way I can teach English with him; and there aren’t many other jobs there for Americans. And he won’t be making enough to support both of us on a teacher’s salary, i know that much. So that’s where I start to get a bit disillusioned. Like I know it was just a drunk suggestion out of a desperation to not be apart anymore, and despite the fact that a drunk mouth often speaks sober thoughts, I know better than to assume that either of those offers to live together were any kind of a promise, and I have no intention to hold him to either of them. But in the moment I very much got my hopes up and I let myself get really excited and I regret that now lmao because like I knew even then that it wasn’t real. and now i’m just sorta disappointed because I’ve had to confront the fact that he’s very much a daydreamer and I, for all my delusional fantasizing, am at heart more practical than that. I don’t like to hope for things that I know can’t happen, because it’s just setting myself up for future devastation. And he just wants to hope and wish for everything, and maybe some of it will come true and maybe some of it won’t, and he just sort of seems unbothered by either outcome. For all my hopeless romanticism and my overemotional nature, I can’t bring myself to do that, to hope without expectation. I don’t know how. it’s so antithetical to my understanding of the world. And it just serves to highlight another of the many ways in which we are almost complete opposites - which isn’t a bad thing! but it can make some things harder. like handling distance, or hoping for the future, or just communication in general.

but anyway! back to drunken happiness lmao. he started saying really sappy shit like how he wants to be there for me when I’m feeling down, and he wants to have big dumb fights with me just so he can make it up to me with a big grand gesture like flowers or edible arrangements or something. and then he wrote me a drunken limerick and it was actually surprisingly good and really cute lmao. and he said he wanted to cuddle me. and then we got into a mini-fight over which one of us was cuter lmao. and he called me queen and said that he just wants to like. make me food and take care of me and stuff lol. and that he doesn’t even HAVE a type but somehow I am exactly his type? which is still fucking me up, that’s the sweetest shit i’ve ever heard. (because i know what he means, he’s dated around quite a bit with different types and genders of people and stuff because he didn’t really know how to handle his asexuality and of course the myth is that you just haven’t found the right person yet, so he just kept trying and feeling broken and then here I am, the first person he’s found to be accepting and understanding of that part of him, and still want him and care for him and be all lovey-dovey and shit with him, and he just wants me to be happy in return.) meanwhile I of course have several types, including different types for girls and guys etc, but he’s hitting all my boxes - tall, handsome in a kind of adorkable way, smart, funny, sarcastic, sweet, patient, sensitive, similar tastes in media and similar political alignments, queer. plus he’s just cute as fuck. like out of my league cute lmao but again, that’s exactly my type OTL so like I told him that, and that I just wanna like. hold him and be with him and help him be successful in whatever he wants in life. and he freaked out and was like ugh you should just come here rn i’ll hide you under my bed if i have to and i was like i wish i could :( and he was like THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH AUDREY COME HERE and i was like OK IM LEAVING ON FOOT SEE U IN 3 DAYS and it was funny. and we flung a bunch of heart emojis at each other. and then he made a passing reference to his mood swings and i kinda ended up ignoring it because i sent a message at the same time but in my head i was like boy have you even MET me, 1. the swings have always been my favorite piece of playground equipment, 2. i’ve got mood swings down to a fine art, and 3. i’m more worried about whether you can handle mine. i’m pretty sure i can take yours in stride lmao. and then there was more talk of cuddling, and HE STARTED HEART REACTING ALL MY MESSAGES and i’m just like WTF STOP IT THAT IS THE CUTEST SHIT <3333 and then he sent me a dollar by accident? and I sent him the “i love you bitch, i ain’t never gonna stop loving you bitch” vine lmao

and apparently this whole time he was still sitting around with his sister? lmao because he said she told him she approved of me after i sent that vine 😂 and she apparently likes my hair! which is good lol (reminder I need to post some pics of it on here, I posted selfies to fb but i don’t think i’ve posted on here yet). his sister is also bi lmao and seems cool in general (and also from what i’ve seen creeping her fb, she’s REALLY GORGEOUS, like it runs in the family, these fuckers should be models, it’s ridiculous really) so having her approval is v nice. like at least one member of his family approves of me! now to work on the rest 😂😂 and then he was talking about he was gonna get high also (despite being already drunk) and i was joking with him about bogarting the weed and he was like “when we live together I’ll share my weed with you” lmao but he said it with such certainty, like it was just a given. not an if, but a when. which threw me for enough of a loop. But then he started in on this fantasy scenario where like it’s late at night and we can’t sleep so he makes me sushi by hand, and we feed each other with our chopsticks (he was impressed that I already knew how to use them lmao) and we sit on the couch arm in arm watching reruns of cheers and laughing way too loudly and fall asleep in each other’s arms as the sun comes up outside but we don’t have anything to do the next day so it’s ok. and it was the sweetest most romantic shit I’ve literally ever heard in my LIFE, like it sounds like actual heaven and i was crying happy tears at this point lmao. just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like in that moment i felt so fucking loved i couldn’t even speak and y’all know i’m never speechless, i literally can’t fucking shut up most of the time lmao. and like at that point his phone was dying so he went to plug it in and go to bed and I did the same because it was like 2:30 in the morning but i was just giddy with affection and couldn’t sleep. 

anyway so the next day (sunday) i had a party thing to go to that was really fun but i’m socially awkward so i texted him a lot as a crutch. and then the next day (monday) he had given me “permission to bug the crap out of him” so i messaged him a lot throughout my work day because it was an unusually crappy day anyway. and the day after that (tuesday) we messaged about the democratic debates and stuff. and then i kinda tried to give him some space, because i felt like i was smothering him, and i made it all the way to friday evening before i caved in and messaged him again. like i don’t wanna bother him by messaging him every day, i know he’s busy. whenever he doesn’t actively have class, he’s got homework or he’s working (which usually means he’s driving and can’t talk). but i’m like so addicted to the affection i get from him, it’s bad. my anxiety just keeps building and getting worse if i try to avoid messaging him and I don’t make it very far before i end up giving in and messaging him for a hit of that good ol’ dopamine. so we ended up catching each other up on the events of the latter part of our week, and talking about sushi preferences. and he apparently has never had eel?? like that was probably the 2nd or 3rd thing i tried lmao 😂 but then to be fair I had a boyfriend at the time who was very interested in making sure i tried new things, and who had been stationed briefly in japan so he knew a lot about sushi and wanted to show off. anyway Letter Boy is like me, he prefers salmon by a wide margin. and we talked about how he’d tried squid and did not enjoy it, and that turned into a mini battle to see who could post the weirdest squid-themed gif lmao. and then i sent him the playlist but he still hasn’t listened to it yet I don’t think. but he also wants me to write him a poem lmao so that’s something i should start working on i guess. but idk i’m not feeling it rn but that’s not his fault. 

and then today happened and i had another incident with my mother and her narcissistic bullshit and i was feeling like shit so i reached out to my best friend to kinda get some validation that i’m not actually the narcissistic one (which felt shitty and manipulative, like if i have to ask i’m probably at least a LITTLE narcissistic. but then again if i actually was narcissistic i guess i wouldn’t even have that doubt? like i would just be certain that i wasn’t and not second-guess it because i wouldn’t care? and like making their victims believe that THEY are the narcissistic ones and the abuser isn’t, is a classic hallmark of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse? but i still felt like shit about it idk). And I also reached out to Letter Boy because while I love my best friend more than words can say, like she’s my sister-from-another-mother, Letter Boy has kind of become my comfort person. like i always used to write letters to him whenever I was going through a rough spot, as a distraction. and usually I’ll message him whenever I’m starting to feel anxious or sad, but lately it’s gotten to where I’ll start to feel anxious and sad whenever I don’t message him regularly. like i’ve said, it’s getting bad and i’m worried about it. like that’s not a good sign of a healthy relationship. and it’s nice to have some positivity in my life, especially given all the negative shit i’m constantly surrounded by. but that doesn’t mean this relationship is healthy or good for either of us. so that’s yet another thing on my list of shit that’s making me anxious lol. but anyway he tried to be supportive when i told him about what i’m dealing with in re: my mother, and encouraged me to get out, but he just seemed kinda generally lost. like he didn’t know how to deal with it. and if that’s because he’s been fortunate enough that in his life, that kind of behaviour is not something he’s experienced, then I’m happy for him. but he said some stuff about not really believing in labels, but specifically in regards to mental health issues? which like. that’s all fine and good in terms of gender and sexuality, but with mental health, that’s a medical issue. you kind of have to have names for things in that context so that you can treat them. and i get that he was kinda trying to be encouraging to me, to not let my mother make me think of myself as a narcissist, and to not feel so shitty about myself in terms of like my depression and anxiety and stuff. but it just felt like it was sort of coming from a place of very neurotypical privilege and misunderstanding, and it was sort of unintentionally invalidating. and then he brought up the idea of us living together again, once he graduates, but he said it in a slightly more realistic way which i should have been happier with but that only wound up disappointing me. he said “maybe when i graduate we can get a place...” instead of like his certainty from earlier. and i said i wish, and he said that he wishes too and we should both hope for it and maybe it’ll happen. and i’m just like... hope is a dangerous thing for my emotional health, i don’t want to hope for something that isn’t going to happen. and he basically said that i need to learn to hope without expectation, and set small goals as baby steps toward that bigger dream, and i’m just like. i don’t understand but thank you lmao. and that’s where we left off this evening. and i’ve been crying, about shit with my mom and my life in general and worrying about all this bullshit with letter boy and how like a week ago we were blissfully happy with each other and now things are feeling increasingly less certain and i have this burning feeling in the back of my mind that he’s not gonna actually show up for the Syrup Festival in 3 weeks - which again, i’ve pinned all my hopes to, it’s the light at the end of my newest tunnel. and i’m so nervous because i want to show him everything and let him get a feel for where i live (and why i feel trapped here lmao) and yet at the same time i don’t know how to handle it because i don’t think he’ll feel the same way about it as i do. and i’m still not sure he’ll even come. because despite him telling me repeatedly that he wants to come, i can’t help but feel that either something will come between us within that time, or he’ll just end up having to work, or something, and he won’t actually come. i’m so terrified he won’t want to come. I’m terrified i’m pushing him away. because this whole thing, ever since we started writing letters, has felt mostly one-sided, like i’m out here sharing everything with him and flinging my love and attention at him, and getting scraps in return, just enough to keep me coming back for more. and i don’t know if he’s stringing me along or if he’s serious. he is a bit flighty. I don’t want him to fly away. but i don’t want to hold him down, either.

i don’t know.

#personal #letter boy #letter boy update #long post #ignore me #so anyway that's like.... the last 6 months almost lmao #all the ups and the downs #this has been over a week in the writing and i'm sorry #i got lazy with updating the dates throughout the post

[thehyperkraken]

EDIT: yall idk why the actual fic isnt showing up in the tags but this shit is, bc thats literally the opposite of what i wanted, but for the love of god read the fic first and/or instead, that’s the thing i spent more than 20 minutes on: [link]

Hey random idea dump for that one fic i done did yeehaw... it’s almost longer than the fic itself but jesus christ i need to get these ideas out of my head and throw them into the internet ether, seriously don’t read this its a goddamn mess

So ghjkdf the actual plotty part of that fic came from that one b99 bit... the Bone one.....u kno

Arthur: Come on, Dutch. The O'Driscolls thing isn't the problem. You're in a bad mood because you've been so busy planning this heist that it's keeping you and Hosea apart. You two just need to bone. John: Oh no... Dutch: ...What did you say? John: Don't say it again! Arthur: I said you two need to bone. John: Oh my god... Dutch: (with barely contained fury) Hhhhhow Dare you Arthur Morgan, I am thIS GANG'S LEADER!!! You have NO RIGHT to comment on my sex life— (5 minutes later) Dutch, standing on top of a table screaming: BONE?!?!?! (10 minutes later) Dutch: What happens in my bedroom, son, is NONE of your business— (20 minutes later) Dutch, jumping up and down on the table: BOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!! (40 minutes later) Dutch: And don't EVER speak to me like that AGAIN! (storms off) John, sunken down in his chair in horror: Why the hell did you do that? Arthur: (shrugs) They need to bone. John: Gross, Arthur! That's our dads!

And then like a day later gfdhkg

John: Oh hey Dutch! I know you don't want to talk about Hosea, BUT, I had an idea— Dutch: No need, John, it's all good. John: So... your fight with Hosea is over? Dutch: Yep. John: Because you finally figured out a plan for the heist...? Dutch: Nope! Arthur, excitedly: Because you guys—? Dutch: Yyyyep! Arthur, looking smug: Knew it. John: Ugh... Arthur: (leans down close to him) See, what happened is, our dads had sex— John: UGH, SHUT UP!

Another inspiration I had was John Mulaney’s bit about zoning out for John with adhd,,,,, the part where he’s like “the doctor was reading me the results of a blood test, it was IMPORTANT that I LISTENED, but NO, I zoned out, I was like, I’m just gonna stare at the wall and think m’thoughts” that’s why I wrote the part where John was like “ehhh attention deficient something something disease” bc it made me laugh gjhggdjh

Dutch: so the doctor says you have ADHD John: (thinking about minecraft) what?

Also unrelated but blease consider Arthur teaching John to drive like

Arthur: are you watching the road? John: ........I am looking through the windshield Arthur: John: .......and I’m not gonna hit anyone...... Arthur: John: ....but no. I’m thinkin’ about minecraft

(Also I don’t know anything about ssb I’ve played it once and hated it, minecraft is my og video game love, but Abigail beating John at ssb is funnier, I’m a fake gamer boy :^( rip)

ONE MORE INSPIRATION THAT ONE VINE ITS MY FAVORITE VINE

Arthur: are you drinking coke for breakfast? John: yeah, what did you have for breakfast? Arthur: ........nothing John: (sipping his drink) I’m doing better than you, then

Anyway onto ACTUAL IDEA STUFF HOORAY

So when Dutch and Hosea decided to adopt, they agreed they wanted to take in kids who needed good homes the most, so they were specifically looking for older kids who would probably age out of the system and wind up on the streets

They met Arthur who was a clearly depressed and gender non conforming thirteen year old who hated everyone and everything and wasn’t getting the Love he Deserved, and Dutch was like “I want THAT ONE, with the SAD EYES”

Arthur tried to push them away at first, cuz he absolutely didn’t trust anyone, and some part of him believed they’d just give him right back up for adoption if he disappointed them in any way. But he eventually learned that they were good guys who really just wanted to help him, and they weren’t gonna abandon him if he wasn’t the perfect kid they always wanted

(he probably told them about this fear eventually and Hosea just snorted and was like “if we wanted a perfect kid we woulda got a cabbage patch doll. something that wouldn’t scream or make a mess” and Dutch was like “yeah! or like a 27 year old with a job and their own house and kids of their own. pre-made grandkids” and Hosea was like “or a cat” and Arthur was like “...okay”)

Anyway it took a loooong time but Arthur eventually trusted them enough to come out to them as trans, without really knowing the proper words for everything, just knowing that He Is A Boy And That’s That. As much as Hosea is the one the lads go to to talk about stuff and get comfort and Wise Dad Advice, he probably told Dutch first bc he was more uncertain how he’d respond and he wanted to get it over with in the worst way possible.... like, if they were gonna react badly, heap all the bullshit on in one fell swoop

I imagine he did it off the cuff too, in response to something Dutch said, like Dutch was like “u get back here right now young lady” and Arthur was like “first of all I’m not a lady, I’m a BOY, and second of all FUCK you, I do what I WANT” and Dutch was like “groovy. you’re grounded.” Arthur was like (offended) “don’t say groovy... don’t try to be hip” and Dutch was like “no it’s totally tubular that ur a boy. It’s absolutely funky. You’re fucking grounded though”

Then he went and told Hosea like “congrats! it’s a boy” and they helped him transition and they didn’t tolerate a single person misgendering him the whole time. Like before he’s even begun transitioning, they’re literally at the doctors office to discuss it w/ their doc for the first time, and a nurse is like “ms. morgan?” And Dutch is like “INCORRECT” and the doctor is like “what seems to be the problem (deadname)?” and Dutch is like “FOOL! THIS CHILD WAS LABELED INACCURATELY, WE REQUIRE A GENDER RETRACTION” and Hosea’s like “please stop yelling”

Anyway probably about a year later they got John when he was ten and Arthur was fifteen. Arthur was a little bit jealous like, wow, am I not enough kid for u, but Dutch and Hosea always planned on getting at least two bc they wanted them to have siblings, and they know John came from a pretty abusive situation, so Arthur can’t be too mad at him. At least until he met John and realized what a fucking brat he is

Since John was younger and way more desperate for affection, he immediately loved Dutch and Hosea just bc they were nice to him, he was ready to call them his dads within the month but he was nervous that it was too soon and they’d be weirded out. But I imagine he got triggered by something and had a meltdown and they got to see just a glimpse of what he’d been through, and Dutch and Hosea were falling over themselves trying to comfort him and tell him they love him and now I’m making myself cry :’^(

Anyway... from that point on John was like “these are the only dads I’ve ever had and I would kill a man for them.” He gets in trouble quite a bit bc he’s Naughty, but Dutch and Hosea always make sure to punish him fairly and never yell or be physically intimidating with him or permanently take away his stuff, like they make him do chores to earn back the right to use the xbox or something. And they always explain to him exactly what he did wrong and why he’s being punished and talk to him about how he can make it better or what he can do next time, or if there’s a root problem, like he’s acting out bc he’s overwhelmed with school work or smthn, how they can help him. Especially after he gets diagnosed with ADHD

And of course they do all this with Arthur too, but they make a special concerted effort with John bc he’s The Baby :^) and Dutch somehow maintains an attitude of “idk what ur talking about, John has never done anything wrong ever in his life” every time he gets in trouble meanwhile Hosea is like “what do you MEAN, he’s a GREMLIN” fjfjfhhf

Arthur was probably diagnosed with depression and anxiety at some point... it was probably a long process to get him to even admit he had a problem bc he didnt wanna bother anyone... Arthur also probably came from an abusive situation from the way canon Arthur talks about his dad, but Arthur is much more the type to be like “i’m gonna keep all my feelings inside, and then one day, i’ll die” whereas John is like “i will SCREAM if i get a papercut”

[EDIT: i woke up in a cold sweat at 4 AM with this in my head so now i’m putting it here

Charles: So, Arthur... Do you wanna talk about your feelings? Arthur: No. John: I do! :) Charles: ...I know, John. John: I’m sad! :) Charles: I know, John.

i’m sure it’s been done before but it’s so good. ok now back to our regularly scheduled programming]

In regards to Arthur being trans, John doesn’t really Get It, Arthur tried to explain it to him once and John couldn’t care less, all he knows is Arthur used to be a girl or something, there’s tea involved probably, and John is thinking about minecraft again... he has 2 am thoughts about it sometimes and comes to Arthur like “what IS gender” and Arthur’s just like “hm. big mood”

Dutch is “Dad” and Hosea is “Papa” or “Pa” or “Pops” or “Dad, No Not You, The Other One” or “Other Dad.” Hosea really doesn’t mind at all, he wouldn’t care if the kids called him Hosea or mom or anything else, it truly isnt important to him. But Dutch Loves being Dad. Every time they call Dutch Dad he grows three times stronger and 10 years are added to his lifespan. Dutch is an Alpha Parent, he 100% goes to every parent teacher conference and bake sale, he’d go to every game and concert too if either of his kids had a single athletic or musical bone in their dumb little bodies. I guess the school probably hosts art galleries sometimes to display art the kids make, Arthur always has a drawing in one of those, and Dutch will absolutely go just to brag about his cool son.

Dutch is the Fun Energetic Dad who embarrasses the boys in front of their friends but can always be talked into taking them out to get ice cream. Hosea is the more quietly anxious dad, he makes sure they do their homework and keep their rooms clean and shit, and he's the one the kids always go to talk to when they’re having problems... like Arthur will rant for an hour and a half about high school drama and Hosea will patiently listen to all of it and when he's done he’ll offer to kick the other kids’ asses for him, and Arthur’s like lmao but Hosea Means It.

Hosea is also the one the kids go to for help on their homework because Hosea and Dutch have five brain cells between them, and four of them belong to Hosea. Dutch is like “suddenly I don’t remember basic math, time to make shit up” and Hosea is like “I must become an expert on 1820s Chinese history in two days for my beautiful sons”

I have NO idea what either of their jobs are, I wanna say Hosea is a lawyer or smthn but idk, Dutch is probably like......................a used car salesman LMAO...... they clearly make a lot of money (or maybe STOLE SOME) bc I gave them a huge house w/ a pool gjhkdhg

Anyway more about THE KIDS

They go to a school that is a combination middle school and high school, bc that’s what my school was like

Mrs. Grimshaw is the strict and irritable principal with a secret soft spot for kids, Mr. Pearson is the cafeteria cook, Strauss works in the office, I wanna say Rev. Swanson is a weird but friendly janitor or something lmao. Uncle is Dutch & Hosea’s annoying forever-drunk neighbor who everyone barely tolerates fjfjhfh

Micah is The School Bully but like bc this is a cutesy high school au and I can do what I want, he’s not actually like a violent racist or anything he’s just a bad mad sad kid who is a huge dick

Bill is Micah’s Bully Henchman, he’s generally not as much of a dick as Micah is, but he punches whoever Micah asks him to bc they are the closest thing to friends that either of them have

Trelawny is a new student who just moved from another school and he’s that fucking Weird Magician Kid who can’t hold a conversation longer than five seconds without saying “wanna see a magic trick,” tried to do some unimpressive card tricks for the school talent show, unironically wears a cape, etc.... Arthur stood up for him when he was getting pushed around by Micah and Bill so now Arthur has +1 more weird friend

Karen is the Popular Girl who somehow knows everyone, is probably a cheerleader, everyone is either extremely intimidated by her or thinks she’s gonna be a stuck up bitch, but she’s actually just super fucking chill and nice, WILL stab a man for her friends, she won’t hesitate bitch

Tilly is Karen’s bff who was getting bullied by *shakes fist* those dang foreman brothers.... Karen stood up for her and Tilly was like “no don’t u will get hurt!!” and Karen was like “ha... fool... cheerleaders cannot die” and whooped ass with her gymnastics skills and somehow got the foreman brothers expelled. So now Tilly is like “I owe u one (1) Life Debt” but Karen is like “nah it’s chill just come to target w/ me & we’ll call it even.” Tilly is just tryna get shit done and do her damn homework but everybody else is going on adventures and being nuisances so of course Tilly has to go too bc come on....... who do you take her for, some kinda two-bit GEEK? NO WAY

Mary Beth is a quiet nerdy girl who’s always reading or writing and never talks in class or anything. Karen and Tilly became her friends thru sheer brute force, Karen just sat by her one day n was like “sup” and Mary Beth was too shy to ask her to leave. They were surprised to discover Mary Beth is actually pretty nice and funny when you get to know her and also the Biggest Lesbian Alive

Sadie is a BAD BITCH... NOBODY fucks with Sadie, not even Micah, Sadie is the girl who when some dipshit boy spreads a rumor that he had sex with her, she agrees and tells everyone she pegged him and he cried after, she hasn’t given a fuck since 2007. she climbs on the roof to get lost frisbees. one time she got the gym coach to agree to give her an automatic A in the class if she did 100 push ups in 5 minutes. Then she Did That. She might have pulled several muscles in both of her arms but She Did That. Karen, Tilly, and Mary Beth (but mostly Karen) approached her like “damn that was sick” and Sadie was like “yea i know” and then they were friends

I literally don’t know anything about Sean I’m sorry...... maybe he’s a transfer student who becomes friends with John, they play Minecraft together and Sean boobytraps the houses John builds. Sean is the only living human being who understands how redstone works and he uses his powers for evil

Molly is going to a nearby community college and is working at the high school part time as a TA and she is like 19-20 or smthn so the kids all think she’s The Hottest Shit,,,, like they think she’s just the coolest hippest person alive, but also she is Very Attractive so fuckin everybody has a crush on her, most specifically Javier and Mary Beth. She ineptly tries to flirt with Dutch every time he comes to a parent teacher conference bc she’s dummy thicc and thinks it’s friendship goals that Dutch lives with and has adopted children with his Best Bud Hosea

The teacher Molly is TA for is Charles Chatenay, an all-grades art teacher who takes his job WAY too seriously, like dude chill they’re high schoolers. His class is where Arthur met Albert, bc Arthur loves drawing and obviously Albert loves photography. They were both like “wow he’s cute” but were too shy to talk to each other for more than basic pleasantries, until one day Albert’s Big Project was ruined a day or two before he was gonna turn it in, and Arthur helped him fix it.

They’re so sweet on each other it’s unbearable, they’re both Soft Boys so they fuckin blush if they make eye contact...... the most bold either of them get is when Arthur is feeling insecure about his body and Albert gladly tells him how perfect and handsome he is in every way, and he wishes he was half as gorgeous as Arthur is, and Arthur is like (offended) um, excuse me, how dare u insult my beautiful boyfriend in this way?? They both wanna grow beards so while they’re still going thru Changes they excitedly bond over their facial hair......... they run up to each other at school like LOOK AT MY NEW CHIN HAIR and the other one is like WOW!!! GOOD JOB

Javier has a big lovely family who spoil him rotten and tbh love to spoil his friends when they come over too, his parents are in a constant and devastating game of dish-gifting with Dutch & Hosea, Arthur and John have eaten more of Mr. & Mrs. Escuella’s tamales than any other food, neither Dutch nor Hosea are very good cooks but luckily Javier has plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins who are happy to occasionally take one of their unimpressive lasagnas or cakes from a box mix

Lenny’s cool dad in canon is the high school au dad of Charles and Lenny, he and Charles’s mom amicably divorced and he got remarried to Lenny’s mom, who is a Cool Stepmom to Charles. Charles and Lenny go stay with Charles’s mom all the time, in fact she was around so much when they were younger that she practically helped raise them both. maybe she gets a gf and Charles and Lenny have so many moms and are so loved & cherished like they fuCKIN DESERVE

Kieran is the weird horse girl at school, he’s Lenny’s age, they become friends when they’re forced to sit next to each other and they’re both too awkward and shy to say anything until they’re paired up on a project together bc everyone else in the class already paired up and they were the only ones left gjkhfd.... John wants to dislike Kieran bc Lenny is HIS friend now, but Kieran is a sweet lad with a mean dad.... His dad is Colm O’Driscoll, Dutch & Hosea’s other neighbor and Dutch’s sworn enemy

Dutch expects Kieran to be as shitty as his dad, but he is a SWEET BOY, and as soon as they realize his situation, they tell Kieran he can come over whenever he wants and spend the night any time, he doesn’t have to ask or anything, but Kieran is super respectful and always asks permission and always tries to come over when John or Arthur are there so he can go under the pretense of hanging out with them, bc he doesn’t wanna intrude...

Once he came over when Hosea was the only one home and he was like “hi Mr. Matthews are John and Arthur home” and Hosea was like “no sorry they’re out” and Kieran was like “oh... ok sorry I’ll just go then” and Hosea was like “absolutely not” and brought Kieran in and made him snacks and wrapped him in many blankets and watched a kids movie with him until he fell asleep on the couch... when Dutch came home he was like “??? new son ???” and Hosea was like “yea I guess. oops”

When Kieran gets older they help him become an emancipated minor and get a job and his own place (even tho he knows they’d let him stay with them if he wanted) and he changes his last name to his mom’s maiden name Duffy... Colm and Dutch glare at each other over their fences and Colm is like “enjoying stealing my son?” and Dutch is like “my son now” but Colm really doesn’t care bc he’s an asshole... and even tho they don’t legally adopt him, Kieran’s like “I’m more of a Van der Linde than an O’Driscoll” and oops i’m making myself cry again :’)

And yes Abigail does eventually teach John how to play stupid super smash bros. She’s Pro Gamer level of competent at nearly all video games and John has the biggest heart eyes for her, the end thank u for listening

#the suffering of john marston. 13 #filler tag 1 #filler tag 2 #morgason #trans arthur morgan #vandermatthews #rdr2

[xennariel]

fanfic asks: all.

lol Thanks! This took me forever.

1. Do you have a word-count goal for 2018? - Not really, but another 100k would be nice to achieve.

2. Will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc?- Hopefully Royai Week again and Royai Halloween week since I just was feeling crappy and was too busy to do it last year.

3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom in 2018? Which one? - Not really. I have been meaning to delve into WoW fanfiction for a few years now, so maybe that, but it’ll probably just be FMA and my own stuff again because I’m a loser. lol

4. Do you think you’ll stop writing for a fandom in 2018? Which one? - Who knows. It seems like my fics aren’t entertaining anymore or whatever, but I lost quite a few readers in 2017 so that may end up being a deciding factor in whether I continue FMA fanfiction or not. As of now, I don’t think I’ll stop writing for the series though.

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet? - I would really really like to finish Through Eyes of Flame, but it still has a long way to go and, again, because of lack of readers, my motivation to write it is very very low. I’ve had the next chapter halfway completed since September and every time I look at it to try to write for it, I just give up and work on something else. I’ve been working on that fic for almost two years and I just want to finish it already. I think I posted a snippet before, but here’s a bit of the chapter that’s been halfway done for months now:

Red light crackled around Gluttony’s wounds, each bullet hole closing within seconds. No matter how many vital points Riza hit with deadly accuracy, it all proved futile. The hulking homunculus held her off the ground by her throat as she continued to struggle and fire bullet after bullet into its skull. She grit her teeth as Gluttony’s hold on her neck tightened and the click click click of her gun’s trigger indicated she was out of ammo. She dropped her hand to her side and the gun fell to the ground with a clatter.

This was it. This was how she was going to die. She would no longer be able to protect Roy. But at least he would live. He would not be incriminated for what they were doing here. He would go on, working toward their goal without her, and that was enough for her.

6. Which yet-to-be-started fic is first on your list? - I would love to start writing the Royai mermaid AU I’ve been thinking about a lot. Also perhaps my “Riza was an alchemist the whole time” au. I’ve had so many ideas for those that were stewing around all year, but I didn’t start them because I wanted to finish TEoF first.

7. Will you change anything about the way you interact with other writers? - Definitely try to comment more. I comment every chance I get, but sometimes I still can’t figure out what to say or have a weird anxiety build up that makes me not want to comment, so I want to work on that and make sure every fic I read gets at least an “I liked this” or something. Also if I wasn’t so anxious I’d strike up conversations more often on here with other writers, but I feel like I just annoy people so I avoid talking to anyone unless they talk to me first. It’s stupid, I know, but I just feel like they’d message me if they wanted to talk to me, you know? I need to work on that.

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is 2018 the year? - Ummmmm… I don’t think so? Well, scratch that, I have a lot of horror/tragedy/angsty ideas, but I can get very dark and I have found that I hold back quite a bit with fanfiction in that department. Like… I feel like people would avoid me and not read my stuff if it got that dark so I tend to just write fluff and minor angsty one shots. I even held back on my fic Hollow because I felt like it was getting too dark so I cut a lot of stuff out, rushed it, and lightened it up a bit. I realize people like angst and such, but I worry about scaring off readers. It’s weird. SO, with that said, I would like to write some kind of fic that’s super dark, but I don’t know if anyone would read it. That’s what my original novel is for. lol

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January? - I would love to get the next chapter for Through Eyes of Flame finished and posted by my birthday (Jan. 31). Other than that, I have no plans, but that might change if people send me prompts or something. An anon keeps sending me the prompt “May wasn’t there on the Promised Day and Roy has to burn Riza’s wounds closed.” I like the idea, but I’m not confident enough to write it. I know nothing about the nitty gritty medical details that would go into that so I feel like my attempt would be bad and unrealistic and honestly the only outcome I could see would be Riza dying anyway because burning an artery and just that whole area is bad news and wouldn’t end well, especially because Roy would probably be nervous and have shaky hands and mess up.

10. Will you keep a record of all the fics you write and/or post this year? - Probably not beyond posting them to FFNet and AO3. I never really thought about keeping a record of the stuff I write.

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes in 2018? - I think I answered this above, but more Angst and stuff in that vein.

12. Will you change anything about the way you edit or rewrite in 2018? - I want to get better at description and make my prose sound nicer. Right now, my writing is very straight forward and not flowery at all. I don’t necessarily like flowery writing as sometimes I have no idea what the author is trying to say if it gets too flowery and purple, but I feel like my writing is very lackluster and missing something. So I’d like to get better at showing and not telling more often.

13. Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic?- I’d love to get back into drawing far more often. I used to draw all the time in high school. I gave it up for so long after I graduated and I miss it. I only drew a few times last year, but I’d like to pick it up far more often. Like, maybe even do a monthly request type thing where I take requests once a month and draw for people instead of going for, like, five months and then being like “I feel like drawing, send in requests.” I’d just like to do it more often.

14. Have you ever lost large chunks of your work in the past, due to not backing up your work? Will you change your methods in 2018? - Oh yeah. I’ve lost so much stuff because my hard drives have crashed several times in the past, like, ten years. All my old original writing was lost to the void in high school when my Mac’s hard drive crashed for the first time. I did manage to print some of it off though, which I found recently, but it was only a fraction of what I had written in my high school years. It honestly wasn’t great anyway, but it’s still upsetting to lose stuff I worked on for years. It’s why I use Google Docs mostly now and I do have a thumb drive that I download stuff onto occasionally now.

15. Do you foresee any personal or professional obstacles in 2018, that would keep you from creating fanworks?- I really really want to finish my original novel, so fanfics might take a backseat to that if I feel like I’m not keeping up with it well enough. My dream is to be a published author, even if that means publishing myself. Also my dog isn’t doing so well recently and if his ailments progress as rapidly as they seem to be right now… Well I hope it doesn’t come to anything serious, but losing him might take a huge toll on me and I know I’ll probably fall into a serious depression for a long time. Which is why I want to finish my original novel as soon as possible, because I know if I lose him I’ll never finish my book, at least not for a few years.

16. Do you have that one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? Will this be the year, come hell or high water, that it WILL get finished and posted? - Nope, I always post stuff, even if it’s a WIP multichapter. I tend to be proud of stuff and want to get it out to share it asap. It’s why lack of hits/comments/shares upsets me a lot of the time. I wouldn’t share my work if I wasn’t proud of it, but lack of hits and response makes me feel like everything I do is shit.

17. Do you typically answer all comments/reviews individually? Do you plan to change the way you interact with your readers this year? - Yes, especially on AO3. It’s a little harder on FFNet since you have to PM the person and I didn’t even realize you could respond like that until recently. I definitely plan to thank and respond to people individually more often so they know just how much I appreciate their comments.

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method?- Honestly, I really should write the whole damn thing and then post it, but I post each chapter as I go. My problem is that I have a difficult time staying motivated to write something without feedback from people. It’s why writing my original stuff can be so hard at times. I really would like to finish a thing before I begin posting though because that way if I lose motivation, I don’t disappoint people by either not updating for a long time or never updating again.

19. Would you consider non-fandom writing events, like NaNoWriMo or writing contests?- I did Camp Nano where I managed to write 25k words for my original novel. It’s what really helped me get going with that. I wanted to do the actual NaNo event, but was depressed and busy during that time. I would like to do both this year though and maybe finish my book then (though I’d like to be done with my book sooner than that.)

20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year? - Yep, as I said before, I want to finish my book this year. Even if no one reads it, it’s been my dream since middle school to finish and publish it and this is the time I’m going to actually do it. No more sitting on it wishing it would just magically be written for me. Even if people don’t like it, I’m going to finish it because I like it.

#xen responds #fanfiction #writing #meme

[atemusluckygal-fanfiction]

Hi! I'm curious, how do you usually go about writting fanfics? Your stories are so great and their plots are eloquently told - how do you proceed when you decide to write something? How many drafts do you usually have? And holy molly, how do you manage to have such an rich vocabulary? I could definitely use some tips for my own writting.

Hi anon!

Thanks so much for the compliment! I’m really flattered that you’d ask me about the process. The key to writing good fiction, I think, is endeavoring to connect with your readers through something both relatable and meaningful. Most of the time the why is at least just as important than the how, if not more.

As far as the mechanics go, any ideas that cross your mind more than once has to go on the paper as soon as you can put it down. It doesn’t matter if all you’ve got is a total mess–99% of the time, it is a total mess. But it’s better than forgetting a potentially good story. (Side note: Most musicians remember song ideas by recording a memo with a guitar or piano as soon as they can, and most of the time it sounds like dog shit at first. But sometimes those little voice memos turn into the next Don’t Stop Believin’.)

I’ll give you an example, from my story from a while back “Dreams of Dancing: The Le Cygne Tour”. When the vague idea occurred to me (I was sitting in traffic), I came home and wrote this on a word doc:

Story idea:Tea auditions for a big important ballet thing dream jobtakes a big risk in audition and gets humiliatedYami comforts herTea is sad and discouraged while she waits for verdictShe wins auditionYami and Tea kiss

(lol how messy was that? it’s barely English)

I let that blob of text sit for a while, because not all ideas catch (I have around 18 “rejects” that will never see the light of day). If I read it again and it seems worth my time, I’ll start writing the main sections of the first draft (the major events, like the audition, judges’ comments, interaction with Yami afterwards, reading the verdict, the kiss, and the ending). I let that sit for a few days to a week, then fill it in a little at a time. By the way, when I say let it “sit”, I mean don’t look at it at all until you’re waited long enough. You’ll be able to see it with fresh eyes. In the final editing stage, I actually read my chapter to myself, out loud. If something doesn’t belong, or if it doesn’t flow like it should, you’d know as soon as the words tumble out of your mouth.

How many drafts do I usually have? It depends on the nature of the story. In a playful and not-too-serious piece like “In the Body of a Boy”, for the first two chapters there were no more than 3 drafts each–the third chapter was highly anticipated by the readers since it took so long, so that had more drafts so I could end it decently. The whole point was to poke fun at Atem’s character, not write the next Shakespearean melodrama.

In “Vices”, a much darker and more serious story with LOTS of exposition, each chapter (both parts and interludes) posted so far had somewhere between 6-8 drafts. I’m a bit of an obsessive editor, so it would’ve been more if I didn’t force myself to just post it and hope that, even if my execution is flawed, my message came through.

Something I’ve been doing lately is, after uploading the chapter on the Doc Manager on ff.net, I pull up the “preview” mode and read it top to bottom a few times. For some reason, seeing the piece on the interface exposes more things you’d want to change. Even a few minutes after publishing it, I’ll read it again from the public page, and go back and edit a few things here and there. (These are clearly pretty obsessive habits, which aren’t required to be a good writer. I’m just a slave to my own standard of excellence, and that’s not always a good thing.)

As far as vocabulary… well, I would hope I have at least a decent one, I’ve been writing for over 10 years! The first and most obvious advice I have to give for that is: read a lot. Read stuff that challenges you. If you come across a word you don’t know: stop, look it up, read the sentence again in context. If you do that, you’ll more likely remember the word and can use it for yourself later. I literally have the dictionary.com app on my phone so I can look up stuff wherever I go, instantly. Am I insane? Probably.

The point of sophisticated language isn’t to sound sophisticated, it’s more about finding words that capture what you’re trying to say in a more specific way. Like, for example, you could use a word like “extrapolate” instead of “plan ahead”, if in context, a character is meant to plan ahead using the knowledge they already have, and extending that pattern beyond the present time to predict a future outcome. Then again, broader terms like “plan ahead” might be better for dialogue than narration, if your character can’t be expected to use a word like “extrapolate” or even know what it means.

Just for fun, I’ll tell you what tabs I usually keep open and handy while writing:1) Merriam-Webster dictionary/thesaurus 2) Urban dictionary3) yu-jyo.net (for referencing canon material)4) tvtropes.org5) grammarist.com6) whatever thing I’m researching for the story7) Wikipedia8) ff.net: previous chapters of my story I’m adding to (if multiple chapters) for consistency

My last piece of advice: it all comes with practice! Lots and lots of it! If you read some of my very first stories (please don’t they’re terrible) and compare to my more current ones, you’ll see that it’s not an overnight thing, not even close. Like I said, over 10 years, and I still have a lot to improve on. Just keep reading, writing, learning, and you will see how much that helps you grow mechanically. Keep feeling, socializing, finding things in the world that inspire you, and you will see how much that helps you grow as an artist and human being.

Wow, that got so long! Sorry! I hope it still helps. Thanks for asking, and good luck on your ventures in your writing!

xo ALG

#atemusluckygal-fanfiction answers #atemusluckygal-fanfiction writes a goddamn essay #will atemusluckygal-fanfiction ever shut up #stay tuned