#i love my mom to death to be clear but it's so frustrating how she does this

[verdantmeadows]

My mom is so strongly against me napping and I have no idea why. She's like ohhh you should be doing chores instead you have stuff you need to do!!! Okay and I will do the stuff after a nap. I am exhausted 24/7 and sleeping helps. She wants me to have a "normal" sleep schedule (waking up at 9am at latest) but like. Why. It doesn't matter if I do or don't. I go to school at the times I have school. She will literally yell at me until I get up and wake up like I can't choose to ignore her if I want to. I would just like to nap Please.

#book of kells #vent #she has these weird moments where she'll yell at me and my sister over so many things and other times shes perfectly fine #she takes out her frustrations and stuff on us over things that dont matter #like you are a grown womannnnnn be more mature #i love my mom to death to be clear but it's so frustrating how she does this #she has this idea that because she works and provides that she gets to nitpick at us or force me to be awake

[sc0tters]

So Long | Quinn Hughes

summary: after years of no contact you finally reach out to Quinn, but in the way he’d least expect.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing, mentions of death.

word count: 2.03k

authors note: so I’ve never written anything like this before. But it felt interesting and I rolled with it. Going through that “I don’t know if I like what I write” phase again so just bare with me for the next few days.

You were meant to be the girl where things didn’t work out.

Quinn met you during the summer of 2015. You were both still in high school and your family had just made the move from Tennessee to Michigan, where your father purchased the new lake house.

Quickly you two became as thick as thieves constantly at each others side. That was how your summers were when you two built onto your friendship constantly growing closer than you ever thought possible.

So it was no surprise when you both landed up at the university of Michigan where you were quickly asked to be Quinn’s girlfriend.

The whole Hughes family adored you much like how your family adored him.

You were in the car arguing about how Quinn intended on moving to Vancouver to join his new team, the Canucks “don’t you love me anymore?” Quinn felt his throat grow raw as the argument seemed to ensue.

Tears ran down your face as your heart broke at the question “of course I love you baby,” you reached out to grab his hand as you wanted to feel some kind of comfort from all of this but he instead decided to pull away.

Quinn stared out of the window watching the raindrops dance on the glass seeming unaware of what was going on inside of the car “then why are you breaking up with me?” His question rang through your ears.

There were many reasons that came to your mind, you were mainly trying to protect him as you hoped that he would hate you after this all. But instead you couldn’t reveal the truth “we just aren’t meant to be together.” In the logical part of your brain you knew that it was true, but your heart wanted to erase this conversation from your brain forever.

Your comment only hurt him more “you can’t mean that.” You were the first girl that Quinn opened his heart up to entirely, it was all in the palm of your hand and that terrified the eldest Hughes boy.

Quinn couldn’t even look you in the eye as he heard your sobs over the hum of the engine “I want you to be happy-” you made it sound like he needed more than you “I am happy goddammit!” Quinn yelled turning around as he flung his arms in frustration.

It made you choke on your tears as you shook your head “I need you to be happy without me.” It was tough for you to admit but some sense of comfort was going to be brought to you if you knew that Quinn had moved on.

It had been years since that moment in the car. Quinn tried to move on from you, but your abrupt exit from his life left the hockey player wondering how this is his fault.

Despite Ellen and Jim’s efforts to tell Quinn that you leaving was a choice that you made, it seemed to always fall on deaf ears.

So when your moms car pulled up to the Hughes lake house, it was safe to say that the whole family was taken by surprise when only your mom seemed to leave it.

She looked tired as her cheeks seemed tear stained and she carried a stack of letters that represented the way she felt carrying the world on her shoulders.

Ellen was quick to open the door trying to urge your mom inside for a coffee so they could catch up “I can’t stay.” Your mom sighed shaking her head.

Her hand seemed to shake as she held out five letters “I came to drop these off.” She explained holding them out for Ellen to grab.

It was clear that the blonde was confused but she still listened “send your family my best okay?” Ellen’s voice was soft as she could tell that something was up.

All your mom could do was nod before she made her way back to the car trying to avoid being in tears as she knew you would have hated seeing her cry.

Quinn was quick to run to his mom to see what happened “what did she want?” He enquired trying to figure out what was going on.

Whilst Ellen tried to piece the bits of information together she shrugged “I don’t actually know.” She mumbled realising that each of the letters were addressed to someone in the family: Ellen, Jim, Lukey, Big Shot, Love.

Ellen held out the final one to Quinn “I think that this one is for you.” She sent her son a comforting smile as the boy grabbed it from her hand.

His finger ran over the name inked out in black pen. You were the only one who called him that and it was in your writing, a style he would recognise from anywhere.

Quinn knew you didn’t like letters, they were weird and you always seemed to thing they were meant to tell some sad sob story. So it made him nervous that you had written one.

Ellen watched as Quinn shook his head “I don’t want to read it.” It had been all these years since you two last spoke, so why were you reaching out like this.

Surely if you wanted to talk you would have driven up to the house yourself “just give her a chance.” Ellen urged him as something in her gut told her that this was serious.

Rolling his eyes Quinn figured he’d listen to his mom “fine but don’t be surprised when I come back and tell you that it’s stupid.” Given his knowledge of your dislike for letters, Quinn hoped that he would find some kind of comfort there.

It was warm as the sun shone on the water “what are you thinking about?” Quinn asked as your feet danced in the water beneath the dock.

You smiled as you looked up at him “I always feel close to you when I’m by the water.” You confessed seeing his cheeks turn pink.

Quinn rubbed his elbow against yours “you make it sound like the water is our place.” Quinn couldn’t help but laugh at his comment before he went silent seeing that you looked like a lightbulb had gone off above his head.

It made you smile when you thought about it “when you miss me visit the water, and I promise I’ll be there too.” You proposed sticking your pinky finger out to him “you know what? Okay.” Quinn shrugged licking his finger with yours as he smiled.

𝐻𝑒𝓎 𝒬𝓊𝒾𝓃𝓃,

𝐼𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝒾𝓉. 𝒜 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓋𝑒𝓇, 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝑔𝓃𝑜𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓁𝑒𝓊𝓀𝒶𝑒𝓂𝒾𝒶.

Quinn felt his heart drop as he read out the first line “what?” He asked feeling emotions all come flooding into his brain as he thought back to that summer. How on earth could he have not picked up that the love of his life was sick?

𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒. 𝒲𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓈𝓉 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓌𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒶 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀. 𝐼𝓃 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓉𝒽 𝓃𝑜𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒𝒹, 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓎. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇.

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝐼 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒 𝓊𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓊𝓈, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓈 𝐼 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝐼’𝓂 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒩𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒩𝑜𝓇𝒶 (𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝓃𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊.) 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓉𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓈𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓉. 𝒲𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓃𝓉 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝑔𝓃𝑜𝓈𝒾𝓈 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓂𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓂𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒹𝒾𝑒 𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒𝒹. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝒶 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒻𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝑒. 𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

Quinn felt a tear roll down his cheek before it dropped to land on the letter. The hockey player still loved you, and it brought him some comfort that your time with him left just as big of an impact on your life as it did his.

𝐼𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒜𝓁𝑒𝓍 𝑜𝓇 𝒞𝑜𝓁𝑒 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝓊𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓂𝓎 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓎. 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓉, 𝐼’𝓂 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹. 𝒮𝑜 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝒽, 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝐼’𝓂 𝓌𝓇𝑜𝓃𝑔.

As unintentional as it was, Quinn couldn't help it when a laugh left his lips mainly when he read that last line. You could have told him anything, literally, this was your letter as you got to say your final goodbye. And here you were telling him you won at something that was never meant to be a competition.

𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒷𝑒𝓎𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒, 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓈𝓉 𝐼’𝓂 𝒷𝑜𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓁𝑜𝓊𝒹𝓈 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒶𝓎𝒷𝑒 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎 𝒶𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓎.

Not even two days ago had Quinn gotten the call, that day when he became captain, was the present. And it seemed to hurt him that two realities he never put together, he never wanted to put those two together. Where you were dead and he was captain.

𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒. 𝐵𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝑜.

𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝒻𝒶𝓇 𝒻𝑒𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈𝓁𝓎. 𝒟𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝓇𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝒸𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹, 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹 𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒷. 𝒴𝑜𝓊’𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝒶 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝓃 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝑜𝒻 𝓊𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼’𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝑒.

Quinn didn't like the idea of moving on before, but now he definitely hated it. How was he meant to be okay moving on when there was an alternate universe where you never got sick and he was still with you "'s not fair." Quinn grumbled to himself shaking his head as he clearly disagreed with what you were trying to tell him.

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝓇𝓎 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶 𝒻𝑒𝓌 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀𝓈, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝒶 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜𝑜. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒻𝓊𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝒶𝓊𝓃𝓉 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓈𝒶𝒹.

𝑀𝓎 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝒹𝓈 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓈, 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓉𝓈, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝓇𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒻𝒻 𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒹𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝒹𝓈.

You always wanted to be a mother, it was something you dreamed about doing as you grew up. Quinn wanted to be a father as well and that caused you two to very quickly realize in this essence that your futures were more than likely connected to each other.

𝐼𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝑔𝑜 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝑜.

𝒩𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓅 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝓇𝑜����𝒹,

𝓎/𝓃 𝓍

Quinn didn’t know how to feel as he reread your letter trying to make sure that he had not missed anything that you had written. Tears rolled down his cheeks as his hands shook so hard he let go of your letter “shit!” Quinn realised what he had done as he reached out to grab the letter that was brought down to the lake by the wind. There was nothing left for him to do besides for just to stare at the letter as it absorbed water letting the paper get wet, much like his cheeks.

The battle between the water and the paper finally seemed to end as the letter paper began to rip.

As sobs left his lips he rocked his body back and fourth coming to terms with something he never thought he would have to worry about.

You were officially gone.

#quinn Hughes imagines #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes oneshot #oneshots #imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #amber writes fics

[shantechni]

I'm Glad Miri is Annoying

Minor spoilers for Spy x Family and Buddy Daddies I guess idk

I don't know if people legitimately forgot this or what, but Anya is not your average child. And believe it or not, the majority of children who classify as "your average child" have more flaws than simply getting a big head when things are going their way. They're stubborn to a fault at times, they tend to be selfish at the benefit of no one other than themselves, and you feel the frustration radiating off of whoever is their guardian.

I'm glad that Buddy Daddies pulls no punches when depicting how chaotic life becomes once a 4 year old girl with a clear lack of disciplinary figures or actual parents comes waltzing in like a hurricane. I also loved when Sweetness and Lightning didn't paint Tsumugi as a child that was any easier to care for after the death of her mom, and that Kouhei (her dad) genuinely struggled to handle her on his own.

Beyond that though, the biggest problem I see floating around is that people for some reason expect a story about childrearing to not actually be about childrearing?? And that's not me saying that's the case with everyone, but it certainly seems like a lot of people have solidified Spy x Family as a standard of the sorts in their mind when it comes to depictions of found family dynamics, childcare, and adoption. That would be fine if people kept in mind that not every standard set by Spy x Family is realistic, both in the plot of a different series and irl. And that's not entirely the fault of the readers/watchers, it simply became one of the recently most popular titles to explore those themes in a way that balances out with other aspects of the story.

But that's just it: Spy x Family is not solely about a man, woman, little girl, and dog slowly developing into a family. It's about their impact on a war torn world and them realizing that this fake family they put together for the sole purpose of continuing their roles in preventing another war is becoming real. This was a situation that everyone (aside from Bond) initially saw as a way of escaping unlikely situations or reaching their goals. The focal point of the story from day 1 has been about these oblivious adults coming to understand that they're already a family, even though they don't exactly see it as such yet.

Meanwhile, Buddy Daddies is not about any of that, they're in a modernized world that one could easily imagine existing right now. These two hitmen are not in an unfavorable situation, they did not swipe Miri off the streets for personal gain, and they weren't really ever denying how quickly they grew attached to her. Kazuki took Miri under his wing the moment they locked eyes and she started talking about cake and her "papa," the guy is literally enamoured by her just from that. And Rei constantly asked Kazuki in the beginning if he was sure about sending Miri back to her mom, because he may not know everything about his partner, but it's clear as day to him that he really doesn't want to let her go. And as I said earlier, it hardly takes any time for Miri to wrap Rei around her little fingers either. The anime is 4 episodes in and they easily settled into the idea of being a family, heck, she already has her own room.

This is getting long and I'm starting to lose my point here because I'm not in a good area to focus in right now, so I'll end with this: Do not go into Buddy Daddies expecting an idealized version of a fake family turned real, because that's not what PA Works is doing here at all.

#anime #manga #spy x family #buddy daddies #sxf #analysis

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for being bitter at my family for keeping their dog that doesn't like me, and for being glad when they had to get rid of the dog?

so i (adult m) live in a small 3bed/2bath home with my family: mom (f40s), dad (m40s), nana (f60s), and my sisters (f17, f12). i was homeless for a while and moved in with them in dec 2019/jan 2020. they had two dogs that they loved for a long time, both dogs had passed years before i moved in. from what i've heard, the dogs were beloved members of the family and their deaths, while expected (because of old age and health issues), were devastating.

our house is small, but i don't really have an issue with that. i spend nearly 100% of my time inside the house because of a surgery i had a while back, and i'm content to nap and watch TV and socialize with my family all day. i require a lot of care and special attention and i'm unable to hold a job (would rather not go into detail), and while occasionally my family will leave me home by myself for a few days for a vacation, this is pretty rare and i'm overall satisfied with the care they are able to provide me. i'd say my life is pretty good.

or it was.

in the last couple of years it has been increasingly obvious that my family (with the exception of my nana) miss having a dog around. they would occasionally talk about a dog up for adoption they saw online, or a friend who was having puppies and how it would be so cool to get a puppy, or looking at videos of dogs and reminiscing about their old dogs and talking about how nice it would be to get a dog. this didn't bother me in and of itself, because it had been happening for a while and they never actually followed through.

... until early last month, when they came home with a dog. this came from out of nowhere (they stopped on the way home from the shelter to buy dog supplies, like food and bowls, toys, etc). no one had told me about this or asked me what i thought, so i was surprised and confused when they brought a strange dog into the home. according to them, they are "fostering" this dog for a few months while she undergoes treatment for a health condition (after which she will be eligible for adoption), but her behavior towards me has erased any sympathy i might have felt for her.

this dog is big (she's almost certainly stronger than i am), unruly, untrained, and she does not like me. i've been avoiding her because her extreme level of energy unnerves me, but every time she sees me she growls at me and tries to lunge or snap at me like i'm the one invading her territory and not the other way around. i have voiced my fears and my strong dislike at having this dog in the house, but i don't think my family really understands what i'm saying.

after a few days, it became clear that allowing the both of us to be in the same room would lead to injury. this was further cemented after an incident where i was sitting on the couch with my mom and my sister came in from walking the dog and the dog lunged at me and i accidentally gave my mom a minor injury in my panic. so my family has decided that the best course of action, until they have time to condition her to my presence, is for me to stay in my room indefinitely.

practically, the space is big enough for me—i don't need much, and i'm not super physically active, the only thing i can't do in here that i can do in the common areas is watch tv—but it's frustrating being confined to a single room in my own home, where i've lived for years, while this dog is granted open access to the rest of the house. my family promised it would be temporary, that they just have to work on training her and correcting her behavior and getting her comfortable with me, but the longer this has dragged on the more i have been forced to accept that this is my life now.

at the end of last month, my sibling (nby20, lived with us until starting college in 2021) came down from their university town to stay with us for a few days for their birthday. during their visit, they spent some time in my room with me, hanging out and empathizing with my situation. they said some things that made me feel more validated in my discomfort over this whole situation.

the week after they went back home, the dog started acting aggressively toward my nana, especially when my nana got close to one of my sisters. it got to the point where my family had to lock her in her crate to keep her from attacking my nana, and even then she would bark and growl at my nana. so my family made the (very difficult for them) decision to stop fostering the dog and return her to the shelter. since she was returned, i have regained my access to the rest of the house.

while i am not stoked about my nana being attacked, i am relieved that the dog is gone and i am no longer a prisoner in my own home. along with this relief are feelings of bitterness—the dog acted aggressively toward me on numerous occasions, but as soon as she displayed that behavior toward my nana, they got rid of her. after the conversation with my oldest sibling, who offered an outside perspective, i have been feeling slighted and as if my comfort was a secondary concern to my family.

my parents and sisters, meanwhile, are devastated by this recent turn of events. they had all grown very attached to the dog (apparently she could be very sweet and loving when she wasn't aggressive), and they had fallen in love with her quirks and the amount of excitement she brought into the home. my parents had spent good money spoiling her with toys and treats that cannot be used now. my sisters, being younger, are especially devastated—my youngest sister has always felt things very deeply and openly, and seeing her this sad is heartbreaking. i've been trying to comfort my family as best i can, but i feel like my presence alone is just another reminder that the dog is gone.

though i acknowledge their attachment to the dog and their sadness at having to give her up, these feelings of bitterness and resentment—that her attacking me wasn't a "good enough" reason to get rid of her—remain. i am also having trouble tampering my relief and excitement at once again being allowed access to the tvs and the common areas. am i an asshole for having these feelings when my family loved this dog and are still upset at having to get rid of her?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[lunarfleur]

Earth 42! Miles Morales General Hcs

Tagging: @juneberrie @hiyaitssans @sluggmuffin

Warnings:Mention of death, fighting, insecurity, smoking weed

A/N: I love my silly little guy

I see a lot of people view this Miles as like this scary tough go who one crosses

But I respectfully disagree

Miles is probably a dork in every universe. He’s quiet, reserved, and put together. Ganke’s is really his only friend, but they don’t hang out. He prefers to be alone.

He doesn’t start fights, because he knows his mom wouldn’t like it, but trust he will finish them ☝🏻

He’s actually really silly. Like he makes funny comments when he’s comfortable and jokes around a lot. And his laugh is contagious, it’s adorable.

People don’t like him, but they don’t hate him. Teachers like him cause he’s a good student. Students are able to like him because he’s not hard to work with. He’s smart and quiet and nerdy.

He has a lot of built up anger. He just doesn’t show it because he doesn’t want to make his mother worry.

He loves his mother more than anything. She always comes first.

He saves up his prowler money for her. Birthday gifts, Mother’s Day gifts, Christmas gifts, etc…

He never argues with. She works so hard to support him and he knows that. She tells him to do the dishes even when he’s tired and doesn’t want to? He does it.

He tells her he loves her. Every day. Because he does.

Miles’s anger comes from his frustration with himself about his mother. She overworks herself, but he can’t do more than just be there? How is he supposed to be okay with that?

When he’s at home and Rio’s working late, he always stays up to make sure she comes home. And when she falls asleep on the couch? He’s walking out of his room, slipping off her shoes is she didn’t get to it, and tucking her in tightly.

He always kisses her goodnight.

best bet he HAS slow danced with her in the living roo

Okay okay moving on from the sappy stuff 😭

The difference between him and his 1610! Counterpart is that his music was heavily influenced by Aaron.

He listens to some modern rap, but a very large majority of it is 90’s hip-hop and rnb.

Also some of his mother’s favorite songs

He has a pretty large record collection

And prefers airpods to any other kind of headphone

Literally has a plain black phone case 😭

I hate to say it but bro’s short 💀

Idc what is or isn’t cannon, bro’s tiny

But has abnormally large hands

Was one of those kids with GINORMOUS ears until he grew into them 🧍‍♀️

Bro has literally nothing on his bed, except for like a thousand pillows and one blanket

He used to play piano (still does at school but no one has to know)

And likes art just as much as 1610! Miles.

Except he mainly draws what he sees?

His mother, the sky, flowers, that kind of thing…

His inspiration comes from the world around him versus in his head

He’s a giggly bitch at heart

If he wasn’t so stubborn, he’d laugh at everything

42! Miles was one of those guys blessed with clear skin. I just know it.

AND the prettiest freckles (every version of Miles has this)

Only ever cries in front of his mother or at night when he’s supposed to be sleeping

He’s not actually afraid of being vulnerable? Like he doesn’t like doing it in front of other people but he doesn’t try to stop it?

Bros eyes are majestic

This is going off topic but I love his nose 🧍‍♀️

He’s really skinny for some reason

And he’s got one of those really pretty waists for some reason

Loves cargo pants

He’s actually got really good style 😭

Miles has a pull up bar in his room I just know it

Works out consistently

Is a sucker for rom com movies (and is very ashamed of it)

Hates going to the pool (he hates the smell of chlorine)

But likes going on walks?

Loves the smell of rain and smoke from like blown-out candles and bonfires

Hates the smell of lavender

Also loves the smell of vanilla because it makes him think of his mom

Uses Old Spice Bearglove deodorant

And semi-nice cologne? Like not expensive but not cheap?

Bro smells gooooooood

Purple is his favorite color

But he also quite likes pink because it goes well with purple

This Miles has lips that are not chapped (1610! Miles does)

Uses lotion multiple times a day so his hands are soft asf

Is a straight A student

And this boy was raised right so he’s not one of the guys girls worry about?

Like he’s chillin

If someone asks him out and he’s not interested? He’s cool about it

“I’m sorry, I don’t see you like that.”

One of the few situations where he says “I’m sorry” instead of “my bad.”

He doesn’t want to be viewed as a bad guy. He actually really cares about it.

Bros locker is boring asf 😭

Really likes cats and stops to pet (and sometimes feed) strays

Is surprisingly alright with kids? He’s got baby cousins and stuff

He’s one of the few guys who’s confident in his masculinity

Would paint his nails black if he didn’t hate the smell

One of those early to bed and early to rise mfs

He’s got a good sleep schedule

He has gotten high before like off a cart (for anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it’s basically weed in liquid form)

He doesn’t do it consistently or often, so he’s not addicted, but he’ll do it if it’s there

Has a lot of one sided friends (??)

Like he’s a friend to them but they’re not friends to him?

A lot of those are guys who are dicks to girl and doesn’t fuck with that

Cause his mother always taught him to ask himself, “would I want someone to do that to my mother?”

He doesn’t go out of his way to correct them, cause (A) it’s probably just gonna start a fight and (B) chances are, they won’t listen anyway

He’s an honest boy, you know?

He’s pretty craft with like machinery and stuff

He’d make a good mechanic

His least favorite class is English, but he’s a pretty good reader

He’s a math, science kind of smart

There’s pictures of him and certain family members around his room, as well as like 2 of him and Ganke

He thinks of his dad every

And talks to him sometimes, too.

After his dad’s death he kind of pushed his mother away?

But he ended up alright.

Likes buying flowers to keep in vases around the house because his mom likes plants and color

He takes care of them for her

He loves the Rush Hour movies

Actually considered joining the basketball team

Snuggles with blankets and pillows at night

And really likes the tight shirt and baggy pants look

He’s got a nice build

His phone’s wallpaper is a picture of him with his parents

He’d never change it.

He really loves The Boondocks

Miles has a collection of small pieces of memorabilia?

Like movie tickets, dried flower petals, polaroid pictures…

His room is always terrifyingly organized

Like more than a normal person’s

He doesn’t even know how he does

Overall, he’s a chill guy.

#earth 42 miles morales #miles morales #atsv #across the spiderverse

[rowdyhughesy]

Luca bringing you flowers because you both got into an argument and it was his fault

Luca knew that he stepped over a line, you both knew that. He burned that invisible line that was a silent agreement to never speak about between you.

It hadn’t started as this huge fight, you had just been hanging out in your dorm room while your roommate was away. Sharing kisses and cuddling as you watched a show on your laptop. When Luca had the brilliant idea to ask the question of when he was going to meet your mother. Your whole body froze at the words coming out of his mouth. You haven’t talked to her in months, let alone seen her. Blinking away the moisture building up in your eyes you shy away from his hold.

“No Lu, you know you won’t. Why would you ask?” Furrowing your brows you bite down on your bottom lip. “I don’t know maybe because I’m your boyfriend and it’s your mom? I’ve met everyone else and you’re like best friends with my mom?” You can feel the annoyance radiating off of him at this point as if the furrow of his brow didn’t already give him away.

“It doesn’t matter Luca! I don’t want you to meet her and that’s it.” Rising up from the bed you start pacing across the carpeted floor. Fingers tugging at the hair tie around your wrist.

“Why?” Throwing his arms up as if to make a point he stares at you. His eyes feel like they’re burning your skin and your air pipe is closing in on itself.

“Get out Luca.” Swinging the door to your dorm open, head turned down, frustrated tears running down your cheeks. Your exhales are shaky as you listen to your boyfriend gather his things before brushing past you and out the door. As soon as he’s out the door you slam it closed behind him, pressing your back to the wooden surface. Why did he have to break that one promise?

The oldest Fantilli could feel his heartbeat in his throat as he stood outside the door of her dorm. Flowers held in a death grip in his hand and the other raised, mentally preparing himself to knock.

It’s been four days since she kind of kicked him out of her room. The image of her glassy eyes and hurt expression haunting him.

He knew he was in the wrong, Adam and Johnny had made that clear as soon as he told them about what had happened. His younger brother scolding him for thirty minutes as soon as Luca uttered the words ‘I brought up her mom’.

So here he stood, cold sweats from anxiety and heart on his sleeve. Ready to beg on his knees if it meant she’d forgive him. He did not need to knock though because the door creaked open before he had found the courage to actually do it.

Standing eye to eye with his girlfriend it felt as if time stood still again. Mouth open and closing like a fish out of water trying to find his words but nothing comes out. So he settles for thrusting the flowers toward her chest. Y/N just blinks at the blonde hockey player before she grabs the outstretched bouquet.

“I’m stupid.” He blurts out before his brain has the chance to connect with his mouth. A small smirk tugs at the corner of her lips at his words.

“Yeah you are.” Tugging on the sleeve of his sweater she leads him inside her dorm. “I know you don’t like talking about your, you know. I shouldn’t have said anything and it’s not my decision if you want me to meet her. She’s not a part of your life and you’re happier without her. You have me, Adam and our parents so you don’t need her. We’ll have your back even if she never has. You’re part of us now.” She doesn’t say anything in response. Settling for wrapping her arms around him in a hug as a silent thank you.

She doesn’t have a mom present in her life but she has her dad and she has her chosen family in the Fantillis along with the rest of her friends and that’s all she could ever want. They fill the void left from her mother, heart doubled the size from all the love they give her everyday.

She just hopes they know how much she loves and appreciates everything they do to make her feel love.

#luca fantilli x reader #luca fantilli imagine #umich hockey #umich blurbs

[bangchanbabygurl]

08: Corporation { In The Eyes Of Love }

Genre: Dark Romance/Smut/Angsty/Thriller/Enemies to lovers

Warnings: Explicit language/mention of domestic violence/mention of violence/alcohol abuse/mention of death/stalker/mentions of blood/drug abuse/smut scenes/dark mature themes/triggering scenes/traumatic experiences

╚» Now playing —» Cardigan by Taylor Swift

I had only been living in Seoul for four months, and it had gone over my head that some boxes were still lying around the apartment. Joshua sighs as he cleans the couch, “You could’ve called me, you know, none of these boxes would be here.” He said, helping out of the wheelchair. I proclaimed to the doctors that I didn't need a wheelchair, knowing that my legs work perfectly fine, but Joshua, being the annoyingly protective person he is, had forced it upon me.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, “She’s being sulky because of the wheelchair, Shua; maybe you are being a bit too protective about this.” Suzy implies as she closes the wheelchair, placing it next to the couch. Joshua ruffles my hair, “Nonsense; she’s in the hospital for five days, so her legs will take a little time to adjust how they were.” He said, picking up one of the boxes. Suzy shakes her head and walks into the kitchen; I let a sigh escape my lips. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about Seungcheol and his stupid favor; what would I wear? What if I stick out like a sore thumb? I'm not meant to be in a high-status class; I bit my lip as my nerves were bouncing around.

The doorbell had snapped me into reality, “I’ll get it!” Suzy called out as she rushed out of the kitchen. I look at my phone and see I had a couple of missed calls from my mom; Joshua came out of the hall. “Y/N, mom called; she wants you to cal-” He paused; I furrowed my brows, seeing his eyes throwing daggers. I turned around, and my heart flipped at the sight, “Seungcheol?” His name fell out of my lips as if it were honey. “How did you kn—” Joshua sighs in frustration, “Why are you here, Seungcheol? Y/N isn't in the mood to deal with you.” Joshua said, crossing his arms. I look at him, “Shua…” I hissed. Joshua gave me a bewildered look.

“Whatever it is, make it quick; she needs to rest,” Suzy said, keeping her composure. Seungcheol rolled his eyes. “I need to speak with Y/N in private…” he said. Joshua snickers. “As if that's gonna happen.” He said. Suzy looks at me worriedly, “Joshua, it’s okay, Suzy; it will only take a moment.” I said, looking at them. Joshua looked like he couldn't believe what he had just heard; Seungcheol stepped into the living room. Joshua walks to the kitchen with Suzy; I got up from the couch. “You said in private…follow me,” I said, walking into the hall. It felt strange as I led the way to the bedroom; I opened the door, letting him step inside.

Seungcheol’s eyes wandered around the room; it wasn't decorated. I couldn't find myself adjusting it to my liking; I closed the door behind me. Seungcheol turns around; the blonde is long gone. His hair was a dark brown color, a color that made his features look soft yet intimidating; maybe it‘s his brows that make him look scary. “How are you feeling?” His voice sent chills down my spine; I sat by the desk and gave him my full attention. “Better, thanks for asking…so what brings you here?” I asked, Seungcheol placed his hands behind his back. “Well, the family party is on Friday, and I want to go over a couple of things before that day comes.” He said.

I felt my breath hitch as he tilted his head lightly, raising a brow, “Are you free tomorrow morning?” His question made my mind go wild. I clear my throat lightly, “I am given that Joshua is monitoring my every move. So I hope that his behavior doesn't affect your mood,” I said. Seungcheol laughs softly, a genuine laugh, not the cocky chuckles he knows to give me. My heart flutters, “Joshua doesn't bother me; it's understandable, given that he is your older brother.” Seungcheol said. I smile and nod, “Well then, I'm sure Chan has already given you my contact information—” Seungcheol sighs. “On the contrary darling, Chan knows his boundaries regarding you. That man hasn't shared your contact information with me nor any other information that I need.” Seungcheol’s mannerisms is quite attractive.

His mannerisms are just like Wonwoo’s except, for one thing, Wonwoo wasn't a jerk upon first encounter or any encounter. “That’s surprising to me,” I said, turning to grab a pen and notepad from the drawer; I wrote down my contact information and added a small note stating that pink roses were preferred. “To make it more believable to your family,” I said, ripping the note from the pad. I hand him the note, and Seungcheol grasps it lightly. “Oh darling I have my ways to show it, but if you want roses then you’ll receive them.” He said, his voice made my heart skip a beat. That devilish smirk grew on his lips, a scoff escapes my lips.

He ruined the mood with that cocky smirk, “Was there anything else you need?” I asked. Seungcheol crosses his arms, his index finger resting on his lips. “There is one thing…” He said, I got up from the chair and head to the door. I looked at him as he got closer, “What size are you?” He asked, his brow raised and that smirk dancing even more. I furrowed my brows, but his dark eyes dragged swiftly down at my chest; I gulped and opened the door. “Time’s up,” I said to Seungcheol as he chuckles, “Men…” I muttered. “I would have my driver pick you up, but I’ll need to see the options myself, so I’ll be here around 10,” Seungcheol said, licking his lips and lets the smirk reappear. I gave him a subtle nod, I rested my head against the door frame as I heard Suzy and Joshua biding their byes and closing the door.

I felt flustered as his question lingered in my mind, ‘what size are you?’. Damn that man and his devil ways, Joshua steps into the hall. “You okay?” He asked. I sighed and nodded, “Yeah, Seungcheol only wanted to exchange contact information, nothing else.” I said. Joshua crossed his arms, “Is he bugging you? Y/N, if he’s not leaving you alone, you can always tell me,” He said. I chuckle and shake my head, “Shua, it's okay; really, I'm only having breakfast with him tomorrow morning. Trust me, it's the only way to get Chan off my back.” I lied. Lying to Joshua was painful, but of course, I didn't want to tell him about the favor I was doing for Seungcheol.

#svt jihoon #svt jeonghan #svt mingyu #svt dk #svt x reader #svt scoups #svt wonwoo #svt fanfic #svt imagines #svt scoups imagines #svt wonwoo imagines #svt the8 imagines #svt #seventeen vernon #seventeen smut #seventeen jun #seventeen seungkwan #seventeen imagines #seventeen joshua #seventeen wonwoo #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen mingyu #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #choi seungcheol #jeon wonwoo imagines #jeon wonwoo

[elizxbethofyork]

okay, so i watched the leaked episode and then i read all the comments and opinions on tumblr and twitter and i have come to my own conclusion.

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

the plot, the theme of this episode is: grief.

all the characters and their interactions with each other all stem from the grief of losing king viserys. even though they were preparing for this moment it was still a shock.

RHAENYRA: she goes into shock and in the process of losing a father she then loses her baby. she has huge grief hanging over her heart, then learns of the treachery of aegon’s crowning. while everyone is demanding she go to war she is like hold up, let’s first gather allies and intel and make a smart course of action, she is trying to do her duty and is trying to uphold the promise she made to her father. but when she learns about luke’s death, you can tell she’s ready to unleash the dragons. she tried to do this peacefully but from her point of view, they stole her crown and killed her son. SHE LEGIT LOST HER DAD AND 2 KIDS IN 48 HOURS. HELL IS COMING.

DAEMON: the most important aspect of his character is that he loves his family, he loves his brother, and he loves rhaenyra. so when he finds out about his brother’s death, of course, he goes into a rage; and then listens to his wife’s screams unable to help her, and then in the end loses a baby. it’s hard for him to understand why rhaenyra isn’t raging like him. so when she tries to talk about the prophecy and he has no clue of course he going to react the way he did. IM NOT MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (HIM CHOKING RHAENYRA IS HORRIBLE AND DISGUSTING), but understand that a character like daemon who uses violence to express his rage and frustration a lot is going to react like that when he discovers that his brother's last betrayal was not trusting him with that secret.

DAEMYRA: everyone is raging over how they ruined this relationship but honestly i feel like the writers are just showing the complexities of this relationship because they are processing grief in their own ways. TOGETHER they lost a daughter and a father/brother. while one is raging the other is cold. so when rhaenyra is like all prophecy talk of course he’s going to be angry and react like because he is a violent man. BUT when the news of luke’s death reaches dragonstone he is the one to tell her and console with her. I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE SHOWED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AT A TOUGH TIME AND HOW THEY REACTED TO GRIEF, BUT I ALSO FEEL LIKE THE EPISODE ALSO HIGHLIGHTED HOW THE RELATIONSHIP IS A PUSH AND PULL DYNAMIC, they push each other apart only to pull into each others arms again. I also feel the setup for season two because the beginning of episode they are both helpless and unable to help each other in their grief, but i feel like luke’s death is going to bring that to an end.

RHAENYS: she was a queen in the last episode and she was a boss in this one. i honestly felt like she didn’t have a huge role at the beginning of the season until the last couple of episodes. i felt like she was all loner girl and was like i don’t want to be part of your bullshit drama, and when her husband is like: im finally agreeing with you, FUCK THE BLACKS AND THE GREENS. RHAENYS ENDS UP BEING #TEAMRHAENYRA. QUEEN SUPPORTING QUEEN. She notices her family is falling apart because of the Hightowers and she like not on my watch, though Rhaenyra is the mother who is grieving and trying to hold back a war, Rhaenys is the grandmother who has her back by bringing the family together and more allies to the table.

LUCERYS: baby boy, was just trying to make his mama proud. i felt like he was very anxious and scared of failure throughout the episode. like he’s gained this huge responsibility of being heir to driftmark, then learns that his grandfather died only to witness his mom in agonizing labor pains all while trying to prevent a war. he loves his mother that’s very clear from the beginning from confessing his fears to volunteering to be an envoy. i felt like his death was not all how we expected it to be but his death is the breaking point of the war.

Overall, I felt like this episode wasn’t an assassination on the characters but honestly a deep dive into their emotions, reactions, and their complex relationships.

Honestly, this episode reminds me of that EW interview Matt Smith and Emma D’Arcy had because they said basically if they had actual conversations with each other so much pain and hurt could be avoided.

#game of thrones #house of the dragon #asoiaf #gotedit #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon x rhaenyra #asoiafedit #hotd #hotdedit #hotd spoilers #dance of the dragons #rhaenys targaryen #lucerys targaryen #daemyra

[trashlie]

[‼️FP 237 spoilers] with nol's walls all the way up shin's "if you won't let me have you" is our only hope now <///3 tbh i had a strong feeling that nol would be extremely stubborn (after all, it's not just dieter and alyssa/"being like his father" that are preventing him from letting her in; the biggest reason remains yui) so i was actually hoping that shinae would be the initiator, that she'd back him into a corner and really push for it. but i swear to GOD if she shows up with a confession and he hits her with the "your feelings are your responsibility not mine" I WILL FIND A WAY TO TELEPORT INTO THE COMIC AND KILL HIM. LIL BUDDY JOIN ME. NOLAN PREPARE FOR DEATH 😾💥😾💥😾💥 i'm just HOPING that he's all talk and once shin shows up all his resolve crumbles ;; but it's starting to look like he's gonna need the time in jail to clear his head, sit with his feelings, read nessa's letters, and then yujing's article will probably make him see that there is hope, that things can be turned around, and maybe then he'll be willing to make alliances. but god i would HATE for them to part on bad terms i would HATE to see shin getting hurt again <///3 this girl has put up with SO MUCH she has given SO MUCH of herself to him and nothing is coming back she has been going through all stages of heartbreak how much more is she gonna have to endure i just UARGGHHHGHHHH.

-frustrated lil anon 😾

the thing is there is a big flaw in nol's thinking that someone needs to point out to him please. it's understandable that the stronger his feelings are, the closer they get, the more scared he is of what could happen - what yui could do -, and that he wants to prevent a tragedy at all cost. but boyo. guess what. YUI HAS ALREADY TAKEN INTEREST IN SHINAE REGARDLESS SO IT'S TOO LATE. whether you cut shin off or not, she is still in yui's trap!! she's actually *worse* off without you, so might as well join forces!!! GRRRRRR i'm seriously so frustrated. -lil anon 😾

GOD!!!!!!! /GOD/ Listen Lil Anon I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. All the way with the frustration, too, and it's so difficult because YES. I get him. I UNDERSTAND!!!! But HE DOESN'T HAVE THE WHOLE STORY.

I firmly feel like, yes, it is up to Shinae and her pure determination to tackle this, and I'm hoping he is all talk, or rather, I'm banking on the way he crumbles in her presence and how he can't stick to his guns because of her. I need them to sit and have a GOOD, HONEST conversation and I'm really afraid of how possible that is with the pace we're going at ;A; Like afkjalfkjaklfjkaf lemme lmao try to organize my thoughts.

Basically Nol lives with this fear that HE is a terrible mistake, a terrible monster, that he caused his mom's death and is responsible for all the bad things that exist as a result of his existence and caring for anything. Like, I am 300% sure that this mindset was drilled into him when he was institutionalized, that they basically took this child and brainwashed him into believing that his entire existence is a mistake because things would be so much better if he didn't exist.

He lost his mom. His father doesn't seem to love him. He's all alone. He probably said some awful things to his mom, before losing her, so it was easy to convince him that she died because of him, that he's like this poisonous gas that destroys everything it touches. But here's the thing. This is all he knows! He knows Yui is terrible - to him! He knows Rand is cruel - to him! He feels like he's a burden, a mistake. When Nana tells him how worried Rand was, Nol can't believe it, figures it must be because it's yet another mess for him to clean up, or because of his precious heir.

Nol may know that Yui played Alyssa like a puppet, but he very much thinks Alyssa's current situation is the course of her own choices, that she must've wanted to be famous, to impress Yui so much. He doesn't realize that she very much is trapped in this career.

He doesn't know that Yui has manipulated Kousuke for the entirety of his life, that she's drugged even her own son! He thinks everything she does is for his benefit, because she loves him, because she hates Nol the terrible bastard child born to her husband's mistress.

When he sees Shinae at the formal, clearly against her will, Nol believes it's because of him. I think that was the moment he remembered what happens when he cares about people, why his relationships were supposed to be fake, why it was supposed to be about him helping others and not himself. The moment he started to care about people and seek relationships for himself, he put them in danger.

Compare this to how he talks about Alyssa, how he never mentions her as one of the people he cares about, how he even brushes off the idea of her visiting him in prison. He doesn't feel responsible for her in the same way he does for Shinae being there.

It's not even that it's about Yui, exactly, but that it's about HIM, and that he cared about her, that because that friendship meant something, because she means something, he put her in danger.

Except, we know better. We've seen this story from an objective standpoint that Nol doesn't possess. Consider this: Nol only knows that Shinae was at the formal against her will, that Yui gave her a job at the company behind Kousuke's back. He doesn't know about Kousuke's birthday.

I need Shinae and Nol to talk because Nol's fears are VALID and I think we can see that Dieter can tell Nol's fears are not unfounded, even though he doesn't know what it is he fears. He just knows that he must, that bad things happen. But, right! Bad things have already happened! And they're going to keep happening! Nol is terrified because he only knows this small part of everything, and that this small point indicates it's because of him. But what happened at Kousuke's apartment wasn't about Nol. Even if Nol feigned losing interest in Shinae it wouldn't matter, because Yui is already invested. At this point it is no longer about Kousuke OR Nol. It's her OWN interest.

Shinae needs to be up front with him - tell him that first off, it's her decision to make, not his, he can't keep choosing to push people away without including them. But more importantly, she needs to tell him about the birthday incident. Tell him what Rand told her, that she'll never be able to escape from Yui's clutches, that she's already invested. Tell him about the offer, that Rand is urging her take it and use it for her benefit.

Nol cannot see beyond his fear because it's all he knows, he has nothing to contradict it or prove otherwise. But I need him to listen to Shinae, because while she probably can't fully change his mind - it's so deeply ingrained in him at this point - I think she can at least show him that her danger doesn't change regardless of whether she's near him or not. That even if he left her now and never looked back, it wouldn't change the hold Yui has on her. The problem is, can logic even combat his inherent believe, this psychologically deep fear he has?

But still, I want her to. I want him to read those letters in the Bible before he goes to jail because frankly I CANNOT TAKE the idea of them parting without resolution, parting with her still feeling like she's being thrown away, him needing to sit in prison pathetically yearning for her to realize how badly he cannot fight this. I need him to crumble in front of her, to realize that he cannot actually deny himself, that he cannot turn away from her ;A; I need him to be HONEST with her! She's already heard him in the alley talking to Lil Buddy, she knows why he pulls away. I want him to straight up tell her how scared he his, so that she can counter him.

Wouldn't it be worse, to leave her in the dark? To leave her behind and pretend that everything will be okay? AUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH

IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND HIM BUT HE'S WRONG AND I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE WILL BE TO LISTEN! I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE'LL BE TO ACCEPT THAT SHE'S BETTER OFF WITH HIM THAN WITHOUT.

Like.... at this point I'm really banking on Shinae's pure determination and maybe like... having to actually convince him because I know if she so much as initiates a kiss, he is going to CRUMBLE his brain is going to shut off he is SO touch starved and full of want and SO in love with her that the moment she initiates anything his resolve will melt away and it's OVER IT'S OVER.

But also I need him to read the letters from Nessa and see how badly Nessa wanted to protect Rand, and how he didn't let her. And how it ended up. Because Rand did what Nol is trying to do and it still didn't protect Nessa. Shinae doesn't deserve any of it - not what Yui would put her through but also not what Nol is putting her through. The Yui aspect can't be stopped, but he CAN stop the other so ALKJFALKFLAJFKAFJK ALKFJKLAFKFAJF FRAFLJ GRRRRRRRRR LAKJFKJFJKRJKRJ LIKE /SCREAMS/

I hope he reads the letters and realizes that it isn't something that will just pass. It wasn't for Rand. Even after he lost her, years later he still carried that Bible filled with her letters with her love with her desire to protect him, with the photo of their son. Rand never moved on. Even though he pushed her away and tried to be the responsible man, he never moved on.

Be for fucking real, Nol. You think you can do that? You know you can't do that. Rand never moved on, Nessa never moved on. Does he think Shinae could?

I want her to go in guns blazing. I want her to go in mad, I want them to argue because at least when they argue they're a little bit more honest, they say the things they might not if they were calmer and thought about their responses. I want her jealousy and insecurity to come out when Nol tries to shield himself with "I have a girlfriend" and I want her to remind him he said it was fake and he resents her. I wan her to look him in the eye and ask if he can really throw it all away, if he wouldn't have any regrets if he gave up and left her. I want him to fail to answer and instead tell her that maybe he can, who knows, maybe none of this is really real. And I want her to kiss him and prove to him how very real it is, how very much they both want it, and how very much they need each other.

They can have a heart to heart afterwards ;A; She can tell him about the Kousuke birthday party nightmare fiasco, remind him how Yui manipulated her and took advantage of her desperation, tell her what Rand said, that Yui will never let her go, tell him about Yui's offer. I want her to hold his stupid face and tell him that the only thing denying his feelings and pushing her away can do is hurt her more because regardless, she's trapped. She can't get out of her contract, she still has to face them! I want him to see that even if he can't get around his own paralyzing fear that that doesn't have to be the only option. He can leave. He can disappear. He can go away - as long as he doesn't sever that tie, as long as she still has contact. ;~;

Cos look.... I don't think we, or Shinae, could handle Nol leaving without resolving things. Even if it was a "he leaves and in prison he realizes he was a fool he can't do this he can't leave her like that", can she really handle him doing this? He had his opportunity to leave - twice. He could have left for jail and never stepped foot in her presence ever again, but he still went to her. And after they talked she told him he could leave, that she wanted closure. But he stayed.

He stayed and they talked and they shared moments and she told him all about her most painful straw, about why being thrown away by him hurts so much. He stayed and he almost died and she almost lost him and while the city was asleep they found comfort in their least favorite place together. While everyone slept they flirted and finger danced and danced and he hurt her again and how can he leave after that how can he push her away. He told her that what they did wasn't "just friends" that it was something more and all but told her to come back when she'd figured it out and she has and if he tries to push her away when she finally comes back I will KICK HIS ASS. Because if he does that how can she ever accept him back after? ;A; How can he shatter her heart over and over again and ever come back into her life? ;_________________;

So PLEASE I hope she can convince him, if only by refusing to let go, by convincing him of why he's making a mistake.

;A;

SCREAMS

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoiler #Lil Anon #ILY Anon #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMS #I'm gonna try and do my 236 thought dump but listen #i was full of soooo much dread and i still kind of am but not as bad anymore and i don't feel AS despairing #still kinda tho cos Nol is SO unpredictable but i just!!!!! #i feel like the Nol/Shinae talk has been hyped up too much to not happen but i'm also afraid of his resolve #i need Shinae to be assertive #i need her to take what she wants instead of letting him lead #i need her to fight back because THIS ISN'T HIS DECISION ALONE #she knows the risks (not really but kinda) and if she chooses him if she chooses to be a team THEN SHUT UP AND LET HER #;A; #I JUST ALFJAFKJJAFJKAFKJAFJKJAF #HOWLS #STOP HURTING HER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT #AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF #they NEED to have a heart to heart #he may not be able to talk about what makes him a monster in his eyes but she can at least dispel the 'logic' that it's related to him #that it's that witch and that whatever choices they make it won't change the outcome #that they need to be TOGETHER to get through because they're so much more vulnerable alone #i keep thinking about how Yui could use them against each other and alfjakfkjafjaf hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HATE IT

[shina913]

Scions, Ch.8a | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 8a

sci·​on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; character death; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; unrequited love; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning (character death); soft sibling moments

Word count: 1.8K+

Summary: Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

A/N: First of three mini-updates. This features POVs from OC, Taehyung, and their mom. Thanks for being so patient! Next chapter to come in a couple of days. Thank you to my loves, @internetjunkdrawer and @itdoesntmatterwhy for reading through this angst-fest. I appreciate you both 💜

You wanted the kids settled with dinner before your group left to head down to Hangsang. You went back and forth with the decision to go. Was it right to go out drinking with your brothers and leave your kids behind after you and your husband had just made the decision to split up?

There were a million other thoughts that you wrestled with. But for one night, your mom wanted to absolve you of any guilt that you were feeling. She volunteered to stay back to watch the kids and continued to urge you to spend time with your brothers.

Your sister-in-law, Yoojung, who had been mostly sidetracked by fatigue in the last two days, felt better. She wanted to join in on the fun but decided not to partake in the alcohol in case her stomach bug decided to make a comeback. She volunteered to be the designated driver instead.

“Have any of you seen Jooni?” You called out to nobody in particular when you reached the family room. You checked the backyard, kitchen, bedroom, and bathrooms–no Jooni.

“Namjoonie-hyung?” Taehyung asks while pausing the game he played with his friend, Jungkook.

“No, Jooni.” You bulge your eyes for emphasis, clarifying that you were looking for your daughter, who also happened to be your older brother’s namesake.

“Honestly, noona. Couldn’t you have picked a different, less confusing name for her? Like, I don’t know…Seojin or…Taeyang?” He finishes with a playful grin.

You cocked an annoyed eyebrow at him and he takes the hint that you weren’t in the mood for jokes. Taehyung’s smile fades quickly and he clears his throat. “Uhh…I thought she was—“ He scrambles, pointing his finger from side-to-side in mid-air, actually unsure of which direction his niece went.

“Wait, didn’t she just run past here a second ago?” Jungkook piped up, gesturing down the hallway.

“I saw her go upstairs,” Namjoon interjects as he walks past you to grab something from the kitchen.

“I already looked in the upstairs bathroom and in our room but she’s not there.”

“Have you checked mom’s room?” Jin asks.

Jooni has been temperamental since the service. Even Sam, who was normally able to reason with her couldn’t figure out how to get her settled. She loved your dad, her harabeoji. It was a lot to take in for a 3-year-old, knowing that somebody whom she loved very much wasn’t going to be around anymore.

“Aish…I told her not to bother her.” You grumble in exasperation before trudging up the stairs. “Thanks, oppa,” you called over your shoulder.

“You’re welcome,” Namjoon and Jin say in unison.

******

“Do you really have to leave tonight?” Taehyung asks Jungkook while they resume their gameplay. “Can’t you come out for a couple of drinks?”

“Yeah, I have to because I have to be at the office first thing in the morning.”

Taehyung frowns. “C’mon, man. Everyone’s gonna be there–even Jiminie! We haven’t hung out in a long time. Let’s get fucked up.”

Jimin and Jungkook were his links to his hometown and city life. As many things they all shared in common, Taehyung was the only one who hadn’t established himself in some form of career. This was why they hadn’t had a get-together in a while–both men were understandably busy.

He was mildly aware that asking them both to get drunk was a pathetic way to deal with his grief and forget that his friends were more accomplished than he was.

“Can’t, bro. My boss would kill me if I bailed tomorrow,” Jungkook says apologetically. “We can always hang out another time,” he says in consolation. “Doesn’t Jimin have some sort of medical conference in the city next month? We can link up then.”

“I guess,” Taehyung pouted in mild disappointment. But then catches himself, realizing that he was probably sounding selfish and childish. “No, I’m sorry. I’m being stupid and unreasonable.”

Jungkook pauses the game and calmly turns to his friend. “You’re not. Your old man just died. Nobody acts right when they’re grieving. You deal with it however you need to.”

Taehyung sighed. “I appreciate you coming all the way out here though. I know it wasn’t easy to get out of work.”

Jungkook smiles and hugs his friend tightly. “Ah, come on. You’re one of my best friends. And your parents have been awesome, especially during my couch-surfing days,” he laughs. “Besides,” Jungkook scoffed, “Even if Jiminie and I are there, you’ll probably ditch us anyway.”

“What?” Taehyung’s brows furrowed in confusion.

Jungkook gives him a deadpan look. “Eunhae?”

Taehyung is stumped and unable to give his friend a snarky retort. It makes Jungkook chuckle. “Exactly,” he claims victoriously.

Taehyung smacks his lips and resumes the game. “Whatever, man.”

******

A moody Jooni may not bode well for your mom, who just wanted a bit of quiet to decompress from the day’s activities. Even though she said that she was completely fine watching the kids, you wanted to afford her some space.

She was stoic most of the day. Whenever anybody offered their condolences, she repaid them with a grateful smile, only shedding a tear or two occasionally.

As an experienced actress, your mother has played many roles, expressing every human emotion imaginable. But in the current scene that she's in, there are no lights, cameras, or production crew. She wishes this was all just a dream and longs for a rewrite or another take. She yearns for someone to yell 'cut!'.

Throughout her career, your father was her constant support system. He stood by her and encouraged her. After years of hard work, your mother had only just begun to reclaim the time they had lost.

That opportunity was taken away, leaving her with a sense of regret and sadness. The pain of losing him weighed heavily on her.

She lay on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she whimpered softly. She couldn't imagine a life without him by her side. As she thought about all the memories they shared, she realized that she was half of a whole that would never be again.

“Halmeoni?”

She drew in a long breath and hastily wiped her tears before turning to face the source of the tiniest, sweetest voice.

“Yes, my darling girl?” She finds her granddaughter poking her head through the door. “Do you need something? Come here!” She smiles, waves her over, and pats the empty side of the bed, urging her to come up.

Jooni walks up to her slowly. Your mom sits up to help Jooni climb up. When she’s settled, they snuggle together, giving Jooni a sweet kiss on the crown of her head.

"Were you crying, Halmeoni?" Jooni looks up at her.

After a slight pause, she comes clean. "Yes, I was."

Jooni gives her a wide-eyed gaze. Then, she reaches up to wipe her grandmother’s tear-stained cheeks. "Are they sad tears?" She asks innocently.

Your mom’s chin trembles. "Yes."

“Is it because you miss harabeoji?”

She nods. “Uh-huh. Very much.” She smiles through her answer even though her voice breaks.

Jooni furrows her brows and purses her lips in deep thought before asking, "Do you want a hug?"

Your mom beams and answers without hesitation. "I would love one!"

She goes in to hug Halmeoni tightly; it takes your mom by surprise that such a tiny person can possess so much strength.

"Ooh,” she sighs. “You are the best hugger!"

Jooni smiles shyly at the compliment. "Mommy says she loves my hugs. They make her happy."

"I believe her." Your mom agrees, thinking about how much your children’s hugs gave you comfort on days when you felt alone while you silently struggled through your marriage.

“Now, what are you doing here? Where’s your mommy?” She asks, turning serious.

“She’s downstairs. She told me to wash up for dinner but then I saw you.”

“Oh, honey. You should go eat dinner with your brother. We can have story time when your mom and uncles head out.”

“I know but you looked sad. I wanted to see if you were okay.” Jooni reasons.

“I just needed a little time,” your mom answers.

"I'm not very hungry, halmeoni. Can I please stay here with you?"

Your mom considers the request for a moment before acquiescing. "Okay, but just for a few minutes. I still have to see the adults off later."

Jooni is ecstatic. She jumps up to give her another hug and your mom can't help but smile in return. The two of them embrace tightly, holding onto each other, cherishing this moment.

"It's going to be okay," Jooni says soothingly.

Your mom had been hearing that phrase from everybody all day today. She felt that it was a throwaway sentiment. You couldn't blame her for being cynical. She was grieving.

But somehow, when Jooni says it, your mom is filled with hope and it makes her believe that yes, in fact–things will be okay.

******

When you reach the top floor, you walk down the hallway to find your parents’ bedroom door ajar. You slowly push it open, the only light source coming from your mom’s nightstand.

“Jooni?” You stop when you hear shushing.

Your mom is lying on the bed, holding her pointer finger to her lips while she held a sleeping Jooni, who was curled up next to her.

You point to Jooni, gesturing that you can pick her up and move her into the bedroom to give your mom time to rest. Instead, your mom smiles and shakes her head softly; wordlessly letting you know that she didn’t mind at all.

You watch them for a moment: your mom looking down at Jooni and rubbing her head lovingly.

She was a good grandmother to your children, and despite what she says, you believe she was a good mother.

Of course, there were days when you needed her around, but she couldn't physically be there. Or you wanted to talk to her, but she'd be in the midst of a grueling scene with very short breaks in between, hardly enough time for a phone call where you could cry to her.

No matter where she was, or how much makeup and various wigs she wore, deep down, she was still your mother. She always made sure you and your brothers felt loved and supported.

The men in your family may not have known what you’ve been going through, but your mom did. You didn't have to tell her, but she knew that you needed her.

She spent many late nights on the phone with you, behind your dad's back, comforting and assuring you that you would be just fine without Sam. She didn't push or nag, instead giving you the space to come to your own decision.

As you catch her gaze, you notice the warmth of her eyes inviting you over. Without a word, she raises her free hand to beckon you to lay beside her. You oblige and round the corner, feeling the warm covers beneath you as you lie on the opposite side, so that she is now nestled between you and Jooni. You take in this moment, three generations finding comfort in each other's presence.

◤Previous | Part 8b◥  | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy

#bts fanfiction #seokjin #namjoon #taehyung #hoseok #btshoneyhive #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #jung hoseok #bts angst #seokjin angst #namjoon angst #taehyung angst #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #seokjin fluff #bts kim line #seokjin fan fiction #namjoon fan fiction #taehyung fan fiction #hoseok fan fiction #scions x kims jhs

[random-chaotic-bitch]

Siren's Song - Chapter 1

Alisha Kade had always wanted to be like her father Jackson.

It was always obvious she was close to her father. They had Nerd Nights every Friday, where they would binge their favorite old movies and eat popcorn. Jackson Kade taught his daughter to ride a bike when she was five, and later he taught her how to skateboard when she was ten. When she was eight, he taught her to play cards and chess. 

Alisha taught her dad some things too. She taught him how to understand the complex conversations she had with her friends. She taught him how to organize things. She taught him how to raise a daughter right.

There were also things they learned and did together, like how to build a bookshelf or dresser. They learned how to beat Ryara (Jackson's wife/Alisha's mom), at Monopoly. They learned how to paint a bedroom wall together and play pretend. 

Alisha and her dad were always close. Until the day they weren't. 

She tried to tell herself it started out as a normal day. She had gotten up and ready for school. She talked with her parents during breakfast. She had the same normal breakfast as every day, Rice Krispies with some cut-up strawberries and a glass of orange juice. But really, it wasn't a normal day.

Alisha could recall the exact moment her life turned upside down. She was sitting in Algebra 2, listening to her teacher ramble on about the joys of inequalities while praying for the clock to tick faster toward lunchtime. Her phone went off in the phone pouch by the door. It had to be hers, as she was renowned for NOT putting her phone on silent mode. 

Hushed giggles met her ears as her face flushed red. "I'm so sorry, can I just check it? I don't usually get messages during school, so..."

Her algebra teacher nodded and she rose from her seat, quickly retrieving her phone. It was her mother calling. "Mom? What's going on?"

Her mother sobbed. "Alisha, honey... Dad, he... he's dead."

The girl froze. Dead? But he was fine this morning!

Her mom continued. "There was an accident while he was driving to a client's house. The men in the other car were under the influence."

Alisha could barely register her mom's words as she fell to the floor. "No," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Please, no. Please, let this be some cruel joke. Please," she begged. 

What happened next was a blur, but the only thing she could remember clearly after that was falling into her mother's arms, the both of them sobbing.

The accident, I remember quite well—such a shame. The two men in the other car died as well that day. Those two, plus Jackson Kade and a poor pedestrian caught in the middle made four deaths. Four souls, moving on to the next life. You'll see the number four is important to this story, better keep that in mind.

But Alisha. Back to Alisha, her mother, and now-dead father. 

The funeral was lovely. Alisha and her mother maintained composure, surprisingly well. Family and friends gave condolences. A lot of good it did, at least in the grieving fifteen-year-old's eyes. "I'm sorry"s couldn't bring back her dad. Nor could the "It's going to be okay"s or the more uncommon, "Hold tight to the memories you made,". No simple words, no matter how well intended, could bring back Jackson Kade.

Alisha reflected on that hell of a week two years later. The now seventeen-year-old sat in a park inside Ninjago City, under the shade of a tall tree. With her long blonde curls, honey-brown eyes, and dark blue work shirt, she looked just like her dad. Except she was alive, and he wasn't.

She got up, frustrated. Someone cleared their throat behind her, and she whirled around to see a strange-looking old man standing by the tree, with his head bowed. "Can I help you?"

He looked up at her, and young, angry eyes met wise, calm ones. The old man grinned. "Perhaps it is I who should ask you that question. Why are you so frustrated?"

Alisha sighed. This is going to go one of two ways. "I lost someone, two years ago. My mom... our relationship went from strained to downright broken. About a year and a half ago, I had enough. I left home and came here. My mother disowned me, and I have nothing left there to go back to."

The old man raised his eyebrows. "But?"

She groaned. "But, I still feel so conflicted! After a year and a half, can't I just be allowed to exist without guilt and grief from leaving?"

The old man nodded. "I see."

Alisha rubbed her forehead exhaustedly. "What about you? Why are you here? And why are you specifically looking for me?"

He grinned. "I guess you could say I have an eye for special talent. And I know a siren when I see one."

Alisha's jaw dropped. "You- but- how-" she sputtered, completely baffled. "No one here knows of my past, hell, I forget half the time!"

The old man chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. There was no doubt in Alisha's mind, this guy knew exactly what he was doing. He composed himself, looking up again at Alisha. "Well, sirena joven, how would you like to keep doing what you feel you're best at?"

The siren smiled upon hearing the language of her General and nodded. "You've got me intrigued. But I'm curious, why would you need a seventeen-year-old, ex-siren/force user on your side? More specifically, why do you want me to get involved?"

The old man nodded seriously. "Valid questions. An individual of your talent and skills, and your moral compass, would be willing to aid in the ever-lasting fight between good and evil, light and dark. I don't wish for anyone to have to get involved, but I have seen there is no other choice. At least I can choose the ones who are ready and willing to fight."

Alisha nodded. "I'll join your little ragtag team. How many others?"

The old man shook his head. "Patience. All good things come to those who wait."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. What do I call you then, friend?"

The old man grinned. "My name is Wu. To you, however, I am Sensei Wu."

Alisha smiled. "Well then, Sensei. My name is Alisha Kade."

#Siren's Song #ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #I know none of it makes any sense but I promise it will 😅 #also #i doubt you'll get it yet

[winepresswrath]

lbfad gets increasingly handwavey on the exact mechanics of things and braincells are sometimes tossed out for scenes with Feelings(fair), and you can tell that lbfad rewrote the script some as it was filming(like the cut xunfeng/danyin plotline), and some things get kind of janky as a result but i DID enjoy the overall tasty meal!

I was so charmed, especially by Ronghao (Rong Hao?) and his very specific deal- his instincts are to be very decent! He loves changheng very sincerely! and yet. Also he's just very funny, truly a character of all time. Love it when it's revealed his evil schemes are "cash in a favour I earned by not being a dickbag several millennia ago." Also love his beatific expression when he realizes he'll probably be executed. Exuding "worth it" from every pore. My frustrations are really an outgrowth of my affections- it's so delightful! It could be just a tiny bit better! I would have been very into a danyin/xunfeng plotline, especially if it brought danyin and xiao lanhua back in contact- I really enjoyed their early interactions and thought they were pretty shippable in their own right. ps. Ronghao's minion should have been Danyin's mom.

Aside from the general continuity mess/ rushed pacing of the last few episodes, I wish they'd made xiao lanhua's perspective and goals a little clearer in the second arc so it doesn't just look like she's desperate to go home and finish being tortured to death, and in general that the moon kingdom conflicts were a bit tighter (Jie Li are you a literal kleptomaniac? why are you stealing from the most powerful man in the universe? is this an expression of your death wish and self loathing). I thought Dongfang Qingcang's personality shift at the very end was a bit too extreme, but my #1 petty irritation is definitely with the way they handled Changheng/Lanhua. I can believe that her feelings changed, but they sold me way too hard on it in the first act for me to believe she didn't have romantic feelings for him at all, and they didn't even bother to come up with something faintly plausible to explain why he left Dongfang Qingcang alone with her soul-seed. He'd never! His whole arc is about how he's actually if anything more willing to ditch his job for her than Dongfang Qingcang (incidentally I love them very much for giving the main ship the real duty vs. love problems. yes!!! thank you for the food). Anyway "the other war god is back I've got to go" is the worst line in the whole show and I can't believe they had a whole thing where she got her memories back but it's never made clear if she remembers him falling in love with her (which is presumably her falling in love with him too!!! Like I really thought at some point they'd address that she has a feelings hangover from something she can't remember and how that ties in with her original magical amnesia but NO! I was denied).

#shifufucking #cannot believe this show made a shifufucker out of me #but Ronghao and Chidi are just SO toxic and ruin themselves over each other so completely #poor changheng! #always the second male lead never the bride #sorry anon u gave me an opening to talk about something I wanted to talk about #my actual favourites are probably Jie Li and Ronghao but changheng is my little black dress #changheng/Ronghao #changheng/lanhua/qingcang #and #changheng/xunfeng/danyin #should all exist!!! #I also do really like xunfeng and danyin but with xunfeng especially #I feel like you can tell where big chunks of their subplots went missing #like everything about xunfeng is delightful there just needs to be more of it #also more of his relationship with xiao lanhua #10/10 in-laws shit right there #oh I also just didn't enjoy the bit where the plot compelled dfqc to pretend to betray xlh #concept fun execution boring #to the point where I was actively bored when they were crawling across the sand to each other and wanting to get back #to ronghao/changheng #the good shit! the REAL betrayal accept no imitations #i did cry when they actually made it to each other and she tried to make him smile tho so I really am being picky! for no reason!

[memoriastellarum]

Okay.  The dreaded Kaname mom post.  This has been living in my head for like a whole year.  This should probably go without saying, but... shades of parental abuse cw.

This is just... such a complicated topic.  Kaname loved his mother intensely and unconditionally.  She was quite literally the only thing that mattered to him at all.  Whatever interests he may have, we don’t know-- because all he speaks of, all he knows, is the dream she had for him that he strives to make reality.  He not only loves her-- he all but worships her.

There are things we know of Kaname, through his own admission, that shed a little more light on this deep adoration.  He mentions that he can’t function without someone to guide and love him, and that it was only by clinging to the memory of his mother’s love for him that he was even able to make it out of the orphanage he’d been stuck in after her death.  He struggles to make friends, despite desperately longing for connection, and shows a clear struggle with thinking for himself, making decisions, and healthy self validation.

But we have more than just Kaname’s point of view to consider when it comes to painting a picture of the woman who was his mother.  What we know of the incident where she lost her life is such a small window, but it speaks magnitudes.  It tells a story of an intensely delusional, controlling person, someone who is possibly unable to manage her emotions when they get away from her (if at all.)

And we know this must be normal behaviour for her because we see it with Kaname as well.  This is someone who gets embarrassed to the point of overt frustration when he fails to understand something simple.  More to the point, this is someone who, in a fit of despair and desperation, actually tried to choke someone to death who he had never met and who had never wronged him.  This violent outburst is simply due to his being overwhelmed by his feelings, and seems to be relatively unusual for him, but it’s a chilling parallel.

He is made of the experiences that shaped him.  He is brazenly childish, down to the way he speaks, and is always, always, always seeking direction from outside.  He loved his mother because he didn’t know better-- he is becoming an idol because she loved idols, because she wanted him to be an idol, and in his own words, because he wanted her to love him even more.

How many times did he stray from the ideal world she was building in her fantasies, and how many times was he punished for it?  Just how severely was he punished for it?  How twisted was the love that he so steadfastly clings to as a lifeline?  How much of his own world was an illusion, shaped by gaslighting?  He claimed to never have friends-- did he have any contact with the outside world at all?

But I also want to take the time to point out that she, too, was a deeply vulnerable woman, and her husband was a deeply vulnerable man.  He married her so soon after his previous wife died that his son ran away in an appalled rage.  This may have been a poor attempt at coping on his part, a need to fill a hole rather than truly accepting a new love into his life.  We may never know, as HiMERU was a child at the time, and clearly emotionally compromised by the event.  And she, as someone who loves idols so dearly, may have been told of (and blinded by) his relation to Godfather.  They were simply not destined for anything but tragedy from the beginning.

Also, imagine... was there ever a point he’d been told Subaru’s father was his father, or would be?  Is this something he’s ever had to shake off?  Did he understand that his mother was delusional, did he recognize that this could not possibly be true and never would be?

#Hmm.... I still might add to this later. I'll be sure to reblog it if I do though. #I just. I think about this nearly daily dfbnhtbgf I have so many things on my mind about it. #lies down on the floor. right here. on the floor. #Kaname Headcanon;

[bengiyo]

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us Ep 8 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

We left on a very dramatic note. Here's hoping that this is a show I can recommend to the folks who waited.

Ah, Wang is gone. I can see how this will inspire flashbacks to Siam's last night.

Confirmation that Mol loved Siam. I feel like I'm always going to struggle with her. She should be scared for her son, but I don't think Inthawut is to blame for most of her troubles.

Interesting that the few times we see Mol and In share the frame is when it's about fearing for Wang's death, particularly as it mirrors Siam's.

Holy shit the scorn on her face when she said In disgusts her was palpable. I physically recoiled.

It's interesting how this show doesn't often rely on A/B shots, but they come up the most with Mol, because she's so often in opposition to others.

Mam is playing Mol's frantic behaviors perfectly. She and Pond are playing this breakdown together perfectly. I just want to be clear here that none of my frustrations with Mol should be taken as negative criticism of Mam Kathaleeya. She is absolutely incredible, and is delivering one of the most memorable performances I've had from Thailand in a while.

The way Wang looks back at his mom is so incredible. This is the moment I think Wang grows up a little bit and recognizes that you start taking care of your parents a little bit.

Ah, I see In is back in his self-imposed cage. Welcome back, architectural bars.

Seeing Wang talk about understanding his dad on the night he died scares me a bit, because my family often says I remind them of an ancestor who succumbed to his own demons and died.

Ah, but the way Wang always intentionally sidesteps these bars gets me every time.

Wang. Poor Wang. He's so right that sitting around and waiting still leads to death. I have sat back like In, making excuses for why I won't open myself up to others and it's all just fear and shame. It hurts to stay lonely for so long.

Omg Wang crosses the window line. We can't turn back now. In is definitely going to strike and push Wang away. There's not enough bravery in him, I don't think.

These two are also now in opposition, and the editing has to reflect that.

When In raised his crutch to strike Wang, I think I have to accept that there is definitely no triumphant end to this story. He can't face Wang's reality. He can't accept his passion. He can only demand he smother it. This hurts, because I've been here in other ways, too.

I will always appreciate Wang for saying the quiet part aloud. In has done a disservice to the people he loves by pushing them away and refusing to face them.

It's so sad seeing someone say I love you and also goodbye simulataneously.

It's the next morning and everyone is back to the doublespeak. I hate it here.

Oh no. This is the first time Wang has intentionally moved to place the bars between him and In. It's over. He's leaving In to his cage.

Oh gay boys and their moms. It's a very specific bond.

Yes, Wang, you've got time on your side.

Mm, I do like giving the globe to In. Wang has resolved his matters around his dad and no longer needs to carry it. In, however, has not.

Oh, Inthawut, please give him this hug.

I need a translated version of this song to implode over later.

This is a melancholy ending, but I don't hate it.

I do appreciate the final messages to the viewer.

Final Verdict: 9, Recommend for Queer Cinema Fans. I know a lot of folks are going to be disappointed in this ending, but I can appreciate that the characterizations held true for the entire duration. It is a melancholy message to receive from this show, but I can accept queer cinema asking us to consider our place in things even as they don't work out the way we hoped. I will continue to think about this show for many years, and I will hopefully post more thoughts in the future.

For now, I will say that it is probably good to ache after this show. This show doesn't kill any gays during the runtime, but it does ask us what do with the pain and grief many of us have carried.

#180 degree longitude passes through us #thai drama #lgbt tv #Ben watches

[countrymusiclover]

22 - Sober Father

Part 23

Victor's Daughter

Tags - @lemonluvgirl87 @virtualsweetsdreamer @emma-andrea1

"So what's going on with her. How do you even know anything about her?" I asked being tugged through the hallways by Finnick. He doesn't say anything until he pushed me inside a room where I see my father blowing his nose into a rag. The door closed with Finnick leaning his back against it. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked eyeing my father who sniffed pating the empty bed space beside him so I sit down. "I asked him to. Katniss won't talk to me and neither do you. So I'm sorry that it has to be this way." Flipping my hair I scoffed his direction. "Maybe because you left a little girl there on her own. And don't deny it because she said you were a rebel-" He takes my hands in his cutting me off with a heavy sigh. "Sweetheart, she's still alive. She did her job. If she had left Snow would have burned every district looking for her." Running my fingers through my hair I knotted it a little in frustration. Flopping back on the bed until Finnick cleared his throat. "Katniss is about to start the speech. Come on I'll take you to her." He pulls me up and my father follows us through the halls. I slowly start walking beside him with a small smile mumbling. "I'm sorry dad. I just miss her..." Finnick eyes us as he pulled out a picture of his girlfriend from his pocket. I recognized the girl in the picture as Annie, the girl Maggs had volunteered for in last years games. In his eyes you could see he truly loved her, like Peeta does Katniss.

Katniss stands in front of a screen with little dots holding her bow in her hands. Dressed like she's ready for war. "People of Panem. We fight, we dare to end this hunger for justice!" She shouted but my father walked from around our corner slow clapping his hands to her. "And that my friends. Is how a revolution dies." Katniss just glared down to him quickly leaving the room and I followed. Unfortunately he followed us down the metal staircase grabbing her forearm. "You made your point, Haymitch." She rolled her eyes but he pointed a finger at her. "Not to you I didn't. Look we're gonna have to work together. So just get it off your chest." She yanks her arm from his crossing her arms over her chest. "You promised me that you would save him...but I guess all you care about is your daughter!" My gaze fell to the ground at her words, kicking the tip of my boots into the metal ground. I know she didn't mean it since we're friends but it still hurts regardless. "I can't believe you let him out your sight. And for your information yes I got her out. But I won't let Snow kill the only family I've got left in my life. Did you ever think about that?" She looks to the ground muttering something I don't understand.

"Katniss, he's not dead. We saw him. Snow isn't stupid enough to kill him because he knows how much you love him." I explained dropping my arms at my sides, hoping she has some hope for the baker boy to live. Celestia Snow would live no matter what. I learned one thing during my time in the Capital the 74th year. President Snow loved his granddaughter more than anything. "Katniss, lisen we're still in the game. Petta's still alive and so are we." My father told her wiping his nose with his sleeve. He's been struggling having to be sober or at least not have one beer a day. I've never seen him really without one and it makes me sad. Mom would be more upset that he's living such trauma. A couple hours later I meet Gale in the conference room where as soon as I get there I rushed embracing Effie in a warm hug. "Effie!" She embraced me with the same excitement. No longer wearing tons of makeup and big wigs since they aren't allowed. "I've missed you, little Victor." That brings tears to my eyes because only her and Cina called me that. Plutarch had told me of his death and it nearly broke my heart. The doors opened and I see Plutarch walk in with a woman with blonde straight hair being President Coin.

Sitting down in a chair with Gale to my right and Katniss on my left. Effie sits near Coin and Plutarch watching my father rise to his feet clasping his hands together. "Okay, let's all think of one moment where Katniss Everdeen generally moved you. Not where she made a good shot with an arrow or her dress went up in flames. But where she truly moved you." He then wiped away what was written on the large touch screen on the wall. "I hope that wasn't important." Tilting his head towards President Coin. Effie immediately raised her hand voicing. "When she volunteered for her sister." My father grinned writing it on the screen. Without a pause I reach under the table taking Katniss's hand in mine giving her a weak smile. Beeta spoke up about Rue where I sniffed with watery eyes. "When she chose Rue as an Allie as well." Everyone nodded in agreement. "You know Effie, I like you better, without all that makeup." My father suddenly spoke up messing with one of her first wigs. Pulling me from my trance I eyed Effie's reply. "Well I like you better sober." He turns back to the board then glanced over his shoulder briefly. Without thinking I give him a thumbs up discreetly, seeing him smiling. Mom would be happy that he found someone to make him happy after her lose.

"So what's the common factor in all these?" My father asked arms thrown out from his sides. Gale leans forward with his elbows on the table answering simple. "No one told her what to do." My father grinned pointing towards Plutarch and Coin explaining. "Then let's put her in the field. Shoot actual scenes instead of fake ones." Plutarch was trying with what he had but it's not enough. If they wanted her to lead a rebellion than she needs to be present during the Capitals cruelty. As horrible as it sounds it's what works. "I can't just send an untrained civilian into battle just for effect. We can't garentee her safety." Coin shakes her head no turning down the possibility. Katniss sat up putting her hands on the table leaving afterwards. "You'll never be able to garentee my safety. I'm going." Everyone just sits in silence so I stop playing with my fingers getting up to declaring to the room without a chance for disagreement. "I'm going to. Beeta can make me knives." Foosteps chased after me down the ramp and the person managed to grab my forearm. Spinning me back around I face Gale who has a look of disagreement written on his face. "Gale, I have to go. Celestia needs to know I'm alive. Plus the other districts are like us, we have to stand against the Capital." He released my arm with a heavy sigh, resting a hand to my cheek softly. "I just don't want you to get hurt. I care about you too much Y/n Abernathy." Wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him into a hug I mumble into his shirt. "I know, Gale. Believe me I know. But I'm done hiding for the rest of my life."

Comments really appreciated ❤️

#victor's daughter #gale hawthorne x reader #gale hawthorne #gale hawthorne x reader fanfiction #gale hawthorne x abernathy reader #liam hemsworth #katniss everdeen #jennifer lawrence #primrose everdeen #willow shields #haymitch abernathy x daughter reader #haymitch abernathy #woody harrelson #peeta mellark #the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay part 2 #mockingjay part 1 #celestia snow #finnick odair #district 13 #president snow's granddaughter #wattpad fanfiction #ask box is open for feedback #comments really appreciated

[currently-screaming-and-crying]

Braiding Sweetgrass : A Review

By: Someone Who Cares Way Too Much About Everything

Braiding Sweetgrass (by Robin Wall Kimmerer) is an amazing book, and I genuinely enjoyed reading it.

However.

I have thoughts.

The whole book is a collection of very easy-to-read personal essays, and they delve into Native Americans' relationships with plants, her relationships with plants and what they’ve taught her, stories about her family, and more. Pretty much anyone could pick up this book and be able to read it without much difficulty. It is non-fiction, so all of the essays are true, but it isn’t dry or filled with high-level and inaccessible language. It talks a lot about the messages that plants share, and how they interact with each other and the environment.

This book was written in order to share knowledge to try to help heal the world. In the introduction Kimmerer writes: “So I offer…, a braid of stories meant to heal our relationship with the world. This braid is woven from three strands: indigenous ways of knowing, scientific knowledge, and the story of an Anishinaabekwe scientist trying to bring them together in service to what matters most. It is an intertwining of science, spirit, and story…”. Her essays are very motherly and kind in feeling, I believe she genuinely wants to help people help themselves and the earth in turn. Braiding Sweetgrass is a labor of love and it shows.

Kimmerer often will write her essays in a way that feels intended for an audience that is unaware of the climate crisis, or at the very least unaware of how deep it all really goes. For better or worse, it seems to mostly be found by middle-aged, mostly white, women. My own mother, as well as my aunt and a few of my mom’s friends, have read and really enjoy Braiding Sweetgrass. It can be a very impactful text, and it seems to give a new perspective on life to a lot of people.

The fact that Kimmerer is a scientist definitely helps the impact of the book, because there is heavier weight put on voices with more/higher degrees. Additionally, she is speaking of her own research and experiences and this adds to her reliability as a storyteller. This section in part 2, Tending Sweetgrass, chapter 3: A Mother’s Work upholds this point: “Being a good mother meant fixing the pond for my kids. A highly productive food chain might be good for frogs and herons, but not for swimming. The best swimming lakes are not eutrophic, but cold, clear, and oligotrophic, or poor in nutrients.”

Despite her being a scientist, there is a repeating theme of climate doom, and yet a lack of actual solutions in the text. It’s frustrating to read as a person who is constantly bombarded by climate, social, economic, and political doom on the internet and in daily life. The tone of the text shows that Kimmerer is trying to inform the audience of Braiding Sweetgrass on the state of the world. It implies that she believes her audience is unaware of the reality of human impact, or how deep the problem goes.

For instance, in part 3, Picking Sweetgrass, chapter 6: The Honorable Harvest, Kimmerer writes, “Lionel went to work in the mines at Sudbury, Ontario, left the woods to work underground, digging nickel ore from the earth to be fed into the maw of furnaces. Sulfur dioxide and heavy metals poured from the stacks, making a toxic acid rain that killed every living thing for miles, a gigantic burn mark on the land. Without vegetation, the soil all washed away, leaving a moonscape so bare that NASA used it to test lunar vehicles. The metal smelters at Sudbury held the earth in a leg-hold trap, and the forest was dying a slow and painful death. Too late, after the damage was done, Sudbury became the poster child for clean-air legislation.”

This is the sort of thing that anyone (especially those in the younger generations) who has been on the internet long enough will already be exhausted by. There is so much constant doom culture around everything with not enough discussions of solutions. The earth is dying. We know this. It is because of the capitalist, self-driven culture we live in. We know this. But it is not the end of all things, and there are actually steps we can take to heal our world, which is actually something that is heavily outlined in the text. This is something that was pleasantly surprising to read. Kimmerer would often speak on the importance of reciprocity and how it is something that can (and should) be practiced by anyone. In part 2, Tending Sweetgrass, chapter 4: The Consolation of Water Lilies, she writes “Our work and our joy is to pass along the gift and to trust that what we put out into the universe will always come back.”, which is a great example of this fact.

I will often see people have similar methods of discussion on various social medias- tumblr, twitter, etc.- and any attempt at suggestions of solutions is so violently fought back against that people can't do much else other than vent their frustrations on the crises, which is fine, venting is healthy, you shouldn't hold onto things and bottle things up, but it is hard to exist in a space where all of the talk is just about what's wrong and not what we can do to fix things.

I feel like Braiding Sweetgrass is the kind of book you buy for your parents or relatives to inform them of what's going on in the world outside of twitter, but in the best way possible. Anyone who wants to can pick it up and understand the text. The whole book has a very sweet, personal feeling, it’s like Kimmerer is speaking directly to the reader, sharing all of these stories with the reader.

I would really want to see what a book of hers would be like if it was written to a younger audience. It makes me think about how adults tend to just share information with each other, and not really even consider how things will affect the younger generations, or even their own children. Younger generations have to think about these things all the time because it directly affects us. For better or worse, a lot of the generations that caused the various crises will be dead before anything is truly fixed.

Long story short, while Braiding Sweetgrass is an amazing start, I want to hear even more adults helping. I want to see them doing things to try and change things. We cannot do this by ourselves. We are still children. We need help. Please.

#book review #braiding sweetgrass #books #my thoughts #brain vomit