#i think about them sometimes and go ‘oh when will that blogger show up on our inboxes announcing their awaited return’

[paper-lilypie]

i remember in May there was this user who said they wouldn’t be able to use their phone in the summer because they’re going to summer camp and sent a nice message to a few DA tumblr accounts, including you. I wonder how they’re doing right now

i bet they’re thriving away from all this chaos lmao

#i miss them :(( #i think about them sometimes and go ‘oh when will that blogger show up on our inboxes announcing their awaited return’ #sits next to a window and looks out pensively #when will my friend come back from the war #ask lily

[bugeyedfreaks]

So I was thinking about the whole “misogyny behind the supposed lack of interest in teenage girl Powerpuffs” statement you made and something hit me: the reason why the reboots suck is because they’re trying to squeeze edgy, Cinemasins-style teenage and adult situations and humor out of perpetually five year old girls and it makes me so mad that Craig said that because teenage girls ALREADY think that their lives end once they have boobies or are interested in girly hobbies and it would be so subversive to have a show that continues off of the “GIRLS CAN BE ANYTHING.” message of the original with “TEENAGE GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING. THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE MEN LITE TO BE HEROES.” but instead, we get like five reboots of various levels of quality, all because he thinks teenage girls have cooties or whatever.

Oh yeah, what I said on this post! I could have given you a short answer like a normal blogger, but here is my long, rambling answer where I basically agree and get a little off track and go more in detail about the suckiness of the reboots/the suckiness of saying the girls aren't special if they're older... behind the cut. 🤣

“Teenage girls ALREADY think that their lives end once they have boobies or are interested in girly hobbies.” It's definitely not an inherent thought by any means, but I totally know what you're saying. Society and culture and the media and the internet push girls into thinking they have to become a certain kind of "mature" by a certain age and it's awful. And to say that the girls wouldn’t be “special” if they were older felt as if it was reinforcing the whole gross notion that women allegedly turn into completely different creatures at puberty and from there on out rapidly lose their worth/usefulness as they get older. To say that the girls wouldn’t or couldn’t be “special” when they grow up… yeah, the wording was pretty yikes.

I guess I should quickly clarify that I prefer Craig doing what he does best, and I'm perfectly fine with the girls continuing to be kindergarteners if the show gets rebooted or continued. And he hasn't been involved with the series since 2008, so he's not responsible for any of the content in the reboots that have already happened. I don’t believe he’s some raging sexist (…well, I hope not) either, it’s just that the way he’s said some of the things he’s said concerning this topic are kinda… ugh. Poorly communicated. It's frustrating sometimes! 😩

I get what Craig was trying to say: having the girls be ass-kicking kindergarteners is a fun and unique premise (true, and I love them that way, it's OG, baby!), and having them be teenagers or adults… well, there are already a lot of ass-kicking superheroines who are teenagers/adults. But that's such a limited view of who the girls really are. Their being kindergarteners isn’t the only thing that makes them unique compared to other superheroes/hero teams. They’re three sisters (essentially triplets) with a creator who acts as their single-parent father figure (so they have a loving and stable family life), and each one of them has distinct personalities and talents. They’re fully fleshed-out characters on their own, but they’re also incomplete if they aren’t together. How many other superheroes or superheroines are like that?

Regarding the comment he made about their “kryptonite,” I definitely think that an interesting setback (and strength!) of theirs– regardless of them being in kindergarten– is that none of the girls have alter egos, so they can never just have “normal” lives. At least Clark Kent and Diana Prince could maybe pretend to be regular people once in a while. Blossom and Bubbles and Buttercup can’t! No matter how old they become, the girls will always have to deal with their “real world” responsibilities in tandem with their “superhero” responsibilities because they don’t have to hide anything about their powers from the world. Other superheroes’ lives would end if their “normal” identity was exposed: theirs wouldn’t. And then again, no matter what unique responsibilities they’d be facing, no matter their stage in life, they’d continue to have to deal with the positives and negatives of that kind of existence, and, like I've discussed on here before, I think there are soooo many stories that could potentially be explored stemming from that. So... like... come on. Not special, my foot! It's not like their adventures would all of a sudden end or could never be just as unique as they've always been!

In the case of making a story with the girls being older, yeah, that doesn’t automatically mean you need to stuff your show with edgy, "adult" humor. You barely even have to change how they talk. They don’t have to talk about sex or comment on the latest pop culture thing to be “mature.” They don’t have to get all serious and gritty to be “mature.” Those are the kinds of things people in Hollywood think maturity is (does a certain someone who's also in Hollywood believe that, too? 👀). The problem is in the writing, in misunderstanding what the show is and who the characters are in the first place, how they deal with life to begin with, and so far it seems that the right storytellers who could tell really cool stories in that sort of setting who do understand all that haven’t come along yet.

Also, a thing that I feel is critical to getting the tone of the girls as characters right is that they exist in a universe that, while it may have exciting action and fighting and carnage, is still a very silly place. The goofiness of that universe comes with a very specific tone that has not been well replicated in these other iterations of the series. The balance of the girls' “normal” and “superhero” lives is always off-kilter (and I’m gonna be controversial… I think the live-action script didn't hit the mark but was a billion times closer to getting that balance than the 2016 reboot), and the type of humor that gets used is way off in tone (PPG humor ≠ twerking/Simpsons humor/lazy pop culture jokes/sex jokes). Plus, that small but critical dose of sincerity in the writing of the original show barely ever feels like it’s present in any of these newer iterations.

...but what do I know, I dunno, do I even get the characters? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That's just how I feel about it all. Sorry for all these words, haha.

#me to myself after writing all of this: shhhhh grandma let's get you to bed #but yeah gahhhh there could have been better ways of saying what was said fr #serious time

[doubleappled]

About the blogger meme

Thank you to @bioloyg for the tag and the fic callout! Team Pete forever and for always!

Star Sign: Libra, but it never resonates the way my enneagram 2 does

Favorite Holidays: Groundhog Day. I love those little dudes (although I wish we could leave them in peace so maybe let’s just celebrate their existence and not force our way into their homes)

Last Meal: Enchiladas for dinner

Last Music Listened To: Waxahatche’s Great Thunder

Last Movie Watched: hmmmm in the theater? I think Bottoms, which I adored

Last TV Show Watched: Shameless. I’m in the beginning of season 9 and it is messing me up in 5000 different ways. The acting is great (sometimes) and the writing is awful (mostly) and the storylines are ridiculous (always) and it’s at least 5 or 6 seasons too long. But every once in a while it really makes you think, and it’s completely gotten under my skin. And I will finish it if it’s the last thing I ever do. And it might be, because wow.

Last Book/Fic Finished: I just finished Justin Torres’ Blackouts and I LOVED it. And the most recent chapter of @glitterslag’s It's Been You and Me Since Before I Was Me — is a witchy creepy Appalachian Gothic MASTERPIECE that I adore. Oh and Blissymbolics’ Colorless Richie Jerimovich, also a masterpiece even though it is sydrichie and that is giving me a teeny tiny identity crisis okay moving on

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I am thisclose to giving up on Lessons In Chemistry. I do not get this book at all.

Currently Reading: nobody ever got my soul right like she could by seh28

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Quite a bit about what happens to children of people wirh narcissistic personality disorder (hi Donna, yes I am armchair psychologizing and pathologizing a fictional character) for the fic I’m currently writing. I’m not a really intense researcher, but I’ve read all about elevator mechanics and ancient marriage rites and British parking tickets and EMP’s 2019 spring menu and how to cook uni and where pastina comes from, all for fics. I love that aspect of writing.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: It’s embarrassing, but it’s probably the first time that one of my favorite fic authors commented on one of my own fics, ca. 2018. I was on the subway, and I dropped my phone on the disgusting wet floor when I saw the incredibly lovely comment they’d posted.

FaNvorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: I really only have two old fandoms, but I do miss HP quite a bit. It’s such a robust space, with really nice people, and so many different fests and prompts and challenges. I still read a bit when my favorite authors post, and would like to write for it again someday. (Also, if you’re the anon who’s messaged me multiple times to tell me that my new fics aren’t as good or creative as my HP, and that I “used to be a good writer” — please stop. That’s not the way to convince me to go back, and it makes me feel bad)

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: Truly I’ve never experienced a hyperfixation like I have with The Bear. I wish fanfic had existed in its current state when I was younger, or that I’d been cool enough to figure out the concept and write it on my own. I would have been VERY ACTIVE in a Dead Poets Society fandom if it had existed when I was obsessed with that movie, a decade after it came out, when I watched it practically every day for a year 🤪

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I just have 15 different Bear WIPs, none of which have any plot, wooo!

Anyway this was all very fun to think about. Tagging @amieraisposting @kdbleu @justabovewater20 @yannaryartside @glitterslag — only if this is your jam — and anyone else who wants to join in.

#ask meme #nice way to spend an evening avoiding the nonsense I really should be doing

[misc-obeyme]

hello again grey asmo here

Finally found here some mutuals to talk and simp, im so happy cuz my fandom is small, and a lot of people are into the show more than the books (book nerd here)

Anyway..i can stop bringing my rant too one of my fav bloggers about that one asshole of a prince of hell (we dont talk about that)

**hugs**

NSFW OM content (drank 4 cups of coffee today, and read 4 books)

Also Barbatos would totally have a two dicks, and also his tail is slimy so you know it probably be easy right... (im not a smut person, more of an angst person)

But Barbatos/Simeon this ship is soooo precious and so cute... i wanna hold them

Also wouldnt MC kinda change, like devildom air probably affect their cells make them immune to diseases in hell, and also make their eyesight better in the dark, and imagine going back to earth and eating and it taste weird.. like MC being in hell for almost 2 years..would earth go faster or slower, probably faster on earth and hell would seem slow (torture the souls)

Hello, grey Asmo!

I'm so glad you found some mutuals to talk to about your fandom! I certainly don't mind you talking about it with me, but I know it's different when the other person is in the same fandom! I hope you're able to discuss about that character at length, he sounds like trouble lol.

So okay the two dick thing... I know people have said the same about Levi... is it a tail thing? A reptile-like tail thing, anyway? Do reptiles have two dicks?! I don't know and I'm afraid to look it up lol. I'm just wondering if this concept is based on something or if it's more like those characters just give people two dick vibes.

I definitely have a ~thing~ for tails in general, though. I really go in phases with smut, like sometimes I'm obsessed and other times I don't care at all, but if I ever come across some that involves a tail, all bets are off. Especially with Barbatos because I love him so much, but yes I think the sliminess of it could definitely act as lubricant lol.

Simeon in general is another underrated character, in my opinion! As such, his ships are also underrated. But I think the Barbatos/Simeon ship certainly has fans! The thing about them is that they both like to take care of people and they each have a little found family that they care for in which there is some overlap. And at first I thought they might have a thing where they kind of compete to take care of each other, but then I realized that they would both realize they could trust the other one. I think both Simeon and Barbatos like to take care of things partly because they know they'll do it best. But then they come to see that they can rely on each other just as well and maybe they start taking breaks finally.

Oh I have thought about what would happen to MC after living the Devildom for an extended period of time.

The fact is, humans need sunlight. So they would need to at least take some kind of Vitamin D supplement. I also think it has the potential to mess up their sleep cycles, which are also dependent on the sun (unless you're me and have a sleep disorder, but you know generally speaking). I would think that if there are diseases in the Devildom that don't exist in the human world, MC would probably get a lot of them at first until their immune system built up resistance to them.

I definitely think the eyesight would be a thing. I mean think about what it'd be like if you lived underground for years and then went outside in the sun. Sometimes just going outside after being inside all day is enough to make my eyes sensitive to sunlight!

I also think it's likely that their tastes would change... or at the very least, they'd have foods from the Devildom that they miss. Or similar things in the Devildom that they think taste better than the human world equivalent.

Just more reasons why MC probably doesn't want to leave the Devildom. All these things start to make it feel more like home than the human world...

And oh I hadn't considered the time speed? I wonder if the Devildom has time zones? Or Daylight Savings Time?!? Please, no. I would lose my mind. I already exist in two different time zones, I just want a break lol.

Anyway, it's lovely as always to hear from you, grey Asmo! I hope you're having a nice day!

#I do like the concept of it going slower because it's more torture for the souls lol #that's kinda diabolical #which is fitting I suppose #obey me #grey asmo anon #misc answers

[outrunningthedark]

i feel like i watch the show the same way you do. i pick up on the ~vibes~ and see how buddie COULD work if they went that route, but i don’t think they ever will and i also see how if they did it would come completely out of left field to a casual viewer

Yep, this is exactly it. I was absolutely 100% in the same boat as the bloggers coming up with ways in which every Buck and Eddie story line can bring us to canon!Buddie back when I first joined fandom (in time for season four) right up through 6x01, but after that...sometime between Eddie not going to Buck to talk about Chris's quest for independence (despite CONFIRMING that if Chris would confide in ANYONE it would be Buck) and Buck actually being a successful sperm donor after what you'd think would have been multiple "signs" from the universe that he shouldn't go through with it...my brain like, rewired itself where I just...stopped looking at everything as a shipper. And listen, there's nothing wrong with only watching a show for a ship - I have admitted many times that the Buckley-Diaz fam is what interests me most because of Chris's presence - but realizing that this show and this ship doesn't dictate my happiness or my reason for existing on tumblr allowed me to step back and take the content for what it is in the moment instead of trying to figure out what secret meaning there could be behind it *if* (I think there are some folks who definitely forget we're speaking in hypotheticals!) the show runners are contemplating making the transition from friends to romantic lovers. Everything we've seen from Buddie so far in s6 is an extension/continuation of something from a previous season, save for Eddie showing legit fear when Buck was dangling from the wire, but...even in his delirious state post-shooting he was worried about Buck, right? The concern was elevated a notch to match the circumstance. (& then Oliver had to come out and be like "Please do not read into it right now. It's how a best friend should react.") The biggest reason why it felt/feels "different" to people is because we just went through well over a full season of both characters in relationships and the show couldn't throw either of them into ANOTHER ONE right away, so we were bound to get Buddie/Buckley-Diaz content while living the single life to mirror s3. The funny thing is, though (it's one more thing nobody wants to point out)...Buddie content outside of work was nonexistent in 6A because of "different dynamics" WHILE THERE WERE NO LOVE INTERESTS. Once 6B came around and Eddie's dating arc was about to start? Once Buck was about to meet Natalia for the first time? Oh. Look who can be friends again. How, exactly, is that different from what we witnessed in s4 and s5? Uh huh. That's what I thought. :)

#anonymous #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #buddie

[blueberry-lemon]

Two-Dimensional Writing

I think there’s a place for characters, and stories, that are two-dimensional. In fact, I’m willing to die on the hill that sometimes it’s just more fun (and “better writing”) to aim for two-dimensional characters if it fits what you’re going for.

Before writing this, I was curious if there was an actual agreed-upon definition of a “two-dimensional character.” When used casually I feel like we all generally understand what we’re talking about, but I figured before I ran my mouth I should at least check if there was a textbook definition.

Most of the results I got on Google were Reddit and Quora threads of people debating the definition, along with a couple of other like-minded bloggers trying to explain it. So I guess the term isn’t exactly scientific.

So I guess I should try to define it. I guess I would say something like this:

One-dimensional character: Only exists in the world or story to serve a single purpose

Two-dimensional character: A character lacking realistic depth. Lacks complex thoughts, feelings, history, and may not behave like a “real person” would.

Three-dimensional character: A character whose thoughts, feelings, and history feel believable and “realistic”

I think most times that people refer to a story as having one-dimensional or two-dimensional characters, it’s meant as a dunk. But I don’t think it has to be a dunk!

Two-dimensions lets you play in the world of archetypes and expectations. When I think of two-dimensional writing, I think of games like Fire Emblem and Chrono Trigger, where you totally “get” a character’s vibe as soon as they join the party. I think of shows like K-On and One Piece, where you’re invited into the running gags by quickly understanding what a character would do in any scenario.

I don’t think playing in this space needs to be thought as synonymous with “bad” or “lazy” writing. If I’m being honest, I’m pretty sure it’s usually an intentional choice. It’s fun to play in a well-established genre, or toss around some well-worn character tropes, as long as you’re doing it well. Sometimes you’re dealing with a story or game that has a huge amount of characters, and it’s important to write them in such a way that people can recognize them, learn their personality and backstory, and remember them as soon as possible.

On the audience side, sometimes it’s fun and convenient to start something and immediately jump up like “oh, THAT’S gonna be my favorite character!” and then see if your prediction pans out. It can be fun to have a favorite type, or an archetype you like to see, and find out how a new writer puts their own personal twist on it. Or sometimes the depth and the fun of the story is how they take the toolbox of two-dimensional characters you know by heart and arrange them in different combinations with each other. Or place them in unexpected scenarios, where we can finally see how Character B, Character E, and Character H are all going to interact and get themselves out of a challenging situation.

And lastly…sometimes I think a work isn’t quite built for having three-dimensional characters. Either it doesn’t actually have the proper amount of time to explore a person’s full depth, or it clashes with the tone of what it’s doing. It can also, if you’re not careful, make your realistic-seeming characters all become a bit bland and unmemorable, because they don’t have any notable trait to latch onto. Maybe your intention was “this is gonna be a fully three-dimensional, believable person” but all you ended up with in execution was “this is a boring, relatable, average Joe.”

(Obviously, if you CAN pull off a realistically believable cast of characters and have the time to flesh them out…more power to you, I love that too.)

I think it’s also important to remember that the genre-archetype, two-dimensional style writing is not exclusive to any particular genre, mood, or emotion. Heart wrenching dramas can play in tropey two-dimensional spaces, just like comedies can. And maybe the secret sauce to your two-dimensional writing is how you set something up to have one tone and then hop to another tone for a moment of surprise.

So honestly, give me the two-dimensional archetypes. Give me the RPG characters who have like 2 notable traits and 3 emotional states. As long as you execute it well, add in a few surprises, don’t make real-life stereotypes, and have fun with it…I don’t think there’s anything wrong with playing in that space. It works for a reason!

#blog #blogofkylelab #writing

[actualbird]

uh hey man u don’t gotta answer this ask but i wanted to send it in after seeing that post about like hobbies. i feel the same a lot about trying to do things and it’s incredibly frustrating. but idk if it’d help to tell you or not since it doesn’t help the “getting a good grade” aspect feeling, but i thought it was maybe worth it to tell you you’re one of the reasons i decided to pick up writing for tot and create a new writing blog and try to go back to doing something i love so much. your work has long inspired me and i hardcore look up to it, so to speak. but recently the other side of that coin was actually the fact that the breaks you take from writing inspire me more. i sometimes start to fret that i haven’t written in a while but then i think and think about how one of my favorite authors also takes breaks, sometimes really long breaks, and that it’s okay to take time between writing (or doing anything) because it’s not a competition or an emergency or really important in the grand scheme. i tend to not be the best at giving myself time to recover or take breaks when i start to not do as well, but the fact that you do has really helped me a lot.

idk if this was pointless or like um unnecessary to send but i wanted to tell you that something that’s been upsetting to you has still in some way been helpful and positive toward others, even if it’s just me, in hopes of maybe lightening that load a little from your shoulders. um im sorry again for sending this in and u don’t have to answer it or anything, but i thought maybe it could be helpful to tell you that something that’s been a struggle to you has still had a positive + slightly more healthy impact on me by showing me that if someone i look up to can take breaks or stop doing something entirely and fans like me will still stick around eagerly to see literally *whatever* you post and share, people would be willing to do the same for me and it’s okay to just take breaks from things or let them exist as hobbies and not goals to fulfill or deadlines to meet.

idk uhh sorry this got a bit rambly but i just wanted to tell you that in hopes it could maybe be something positive. thanks for consistently being a blogger i can be excited to see things from, and whatever u want to post or share or pursue it’s still something worthwhile. uhhh sorry again lol

anon oh gosh. first off, youve got nothing to apologize for cuz real talk, reading this made me tear up. like, literally, and it’s 5am here. tear up in a good way, i assure!!!!

im beyond honored that the stuff i make cld help you get back to making stuff yourself. a bunch of people have told me similar things in the past, and it never stops knocking me to the ground because god!!! GOD!!!!!! im so happy for you all, thank you for making stuff!!! and thank you so much for telling me. because so much of the time when i Do make stuff i constantly wonder what the point is or if anyone even likes it. so this means so much to me, it always does.

though nobodys ever told me that when im Not making stuff is similarly important. thats…..it's quite literally Never crossed my mind and it’s making me super duper emotional right now. whenever im not Making Stuff™, at best, i feel like im disappointing everyone who does find joy in the stuff i make, and at worst, i feel like ive Actively Tricked Everyone who has come here due to my writing and i shld be burned at the stake for not fulfilling my end of the transaction (yeah i have uhhhh NOT THE BEST view, to say the least, irt myself and online fanwork creation HJVSFHJSDVFJ im working on it) so u must understand……..this ask is this is the exact opposite of pointless to me. it means so so so fucking much to me.

im pretty sure im always gonna be battling the horrid Less Than Healthy Views Demon of “NO, KEEP MAKING STUFF ALWAYS ALWAYS” like til the end of time, but man, it seems like we’re all battling that. so if me taking a break can help u and maybe even others see Taking A Break as okay, then that makes me really really happy.

take a break if you need to, or if you want to. dont be scared to make stuff thats not the stuff people “came” to you for, just make whatever makes you happy. telling this to you and also to myself

thank you for sending this ask, anon. it's helped in more ways than i can coherently word :'3

#giving all the burnt out fancreators a hot virtual drink of their choice. we can rest. we Should rest. let's take a nap #asks #anon

[toseeclearly]

i deleted everything by accident

I deleted everything by accident, and now I am grieving.

It's not that these things were important, technically. I deleted a tumblr I barely used or looked at; a place where I would start to write a post, get cold feet, and then leave it in the drafts until I no longer wanted to do anything with it. That's all it was, a graveyard to things I was never going to complete, ideas I'd given up on, plans I never followed through with.

But still, the day they rip the memorial down is still sad, and you'll forever walk by that lamp post and remember that, at one point, there were flowers here.

So I guess I just... use this how I used to use the internet: like a diary. I was once a dedicated blogger, back in the days when being a "blogger" had some sort of caché (I think if you said that now, someone would assume you were using some sort of throwback term, like asking aloud if anyone knew of a video store they could check out. Are there any video stores left? I don't know, and I don't feel like googling right now). I wanted to be a writer, a blogger, I wanted to be like all the cool teens I followed who had custom webpages with sections where they'd post about their thoughts and other sections for cool things they did with their friends. I wanted to be their friend and be posted on their cool blog! But this was the early 2000s, where the only way to contact these people was to either stalk a forum they might be on, or email them directly, and both of those always felt unappealing. So instead, I wrote about my life and my friends, read my friends blogs, hoped to be cool enough to be included. Hundreds of posts, stories and essays and quiz results and absolutely atrocious poetry, we wrote so much, I wrote so much. And all of it is gone, now. Blogs long deleted, websites no longer active, everything lost to digital decay. Or, if you're me, you delete your tumblr by accident while massively tired and only realise too late what you've done. More decay, more insignificant pieces of the web burned away. I'm the only one who cares, but that's fine. I can... rebuild. Or just use this space for my own terrible navel gazing.

I write a lot. I have a fair amount of published work, but I also write a lot that never sees the light of day (and probably never should, mostly for quality control issues). I spent a lot of nights writing Parkdale Haunt, a lot of very late evenings hammering out page after page after page until my eyes hurt and my brain was trying to escape my skull, but it felt good. It was a good time. There's several episodes where I wrote the first draft in a complete haze, like when you're running a marathon (NOTE: I have never run a marathon, but like, stick with me here, I'm just extrapolating from my time as a long distance runner) (SECOND NOTE: I hated long distance running and quit to focus on sprinting and hurdling, which I loved, because sprinting is designed for people who want all their endorphins RIGHT NOW and hurdling is designed for masochists, and the 400m hurdles is the perfect race if you just want to punish yourself for any feeling of hubris that you've ever had in your entire curséd life) and you're just zoning out and pushing through any thought you might have that says hey man, what if you just - oh, I don't know - lied down on that patch of grass over there? Yeah, that would be sick as fuck. Writing feels like that for me sometimes, like hey, wouldn't it be nice to just go to bed? Yeah, bed is good. But then I would look down and there'd be 15 pages in front of me, and I'd feel... great. And also exhausted and vaguely headachy, but great. Then I would just spam Emily and/or Ian with screenshots of scenes at random times. Being in my vicinity means you're getting unhinged screenshots at some point.

So I've been writing again. I've got two scripts going for a new show, here's to hoping it works out. And I guess I can write here when I need/want to procrastinate. I don't have much of a footprint left after I threw my fucking shoes in the ocean.

All this has done is made me miss hurdling.

#blog post #parkdale haunt #sure

[bcacstuff]

Hi bcacstuff! Your blog was recommended to me for your music posts after a friend shared some great ones with me! I remember the 2020 entertainment news story about the actor Sam Heughan and Covid traveling. I looked up who he was, then watched his show and found out he has a controversial fandom. I have to admit what I read about his fans caught my attention. Lengthy intro to my ask - sorry! Do you answer general interest questions about him to fill people in or do you post mainly about him in terms of current happenings? Looking for a place to submit for some basic opinions and answers- thanks!

Oh nice to hear my blog was recommended! Hope you enjoyed it so far, though I really should post more about music (and art).

You're quite right about the controversial fandom, one of the things that amazes me still as well. Only the way you say, 'his show' could already be subject to a huge discussion for some. Not to correct you, as I'm sure you didn't mean anything harmful with it, nor did I took it that way. But I know there are some fans that will go off and tell you it is not 'his show'... but don't feel sorry for it Anon.

Anyway, I do sometimes answer general questions, to people that are looking for some background. But it depends... I don't really like to rehash old stories about his relationships. There will always be different opinions about it, no matter what I or anybody else says. And I feel most of the time burdened for the people involved. Not a fan of bringing their names up again and again when it isn't needed.

It's why most of the time I post about current happenings. And people here discuss it freely, opinions may differ and I welcome a healthy discussion. As long as people stay respectful to others and don't tell them what to think or what to do with their time.

So feel free to shoot me a question, I might refer to older posts or other blogs when it's about something in the past. I only have been here since end 2019 as well, and had to look up about the times before and form my opinion on what other bloggers wrote. But perhaps I can also help you out or my readers most of the time are also willing to share their opinions.

Thanks for your introduction and question 🧡

[cyggiestardust]

While I'm nightblogging, @buzzfeed ?

Who hosts your images? I tried to read a throwback ('13) article about nightblogging and all the images are unavailable now, making the list useless, and uninformative, and joyless?

It's this crapola all the way down the article.

You take yourselves to be journalists, but didn't make sure that the content of your article would be evergreen and not just damn vanish? If y'all are keeping older articles/listicles available to read in the future, doesn't it make sense to make sure the context of the content stays put?

You didn't do it here and what it's left you with is basically a blank Word document.

I came here so I could nightblog an article about nightblogging, for the newbie influx that is undoubtedly at this point running into its first instances of nightblogging, and what I wound up doing was nightblogging about about an article that was AT ONE POINT about nightblogging (and I'm going to pause to say here that after that sentence "nightblogging" is starting to look like a fake word) but is now about nothing but dashed expectations.

On that note, listen up newcomers, here's Urban Dictionay's quick and dirty definition:

... a time when people will ‘blog strange things, sometimes deep yet completely messed up, sometimes utterly meaningless, sometimes gifs of stupid things, and sometimes bloggers will even go as far as to question the existence of humanity in those few strange hours’.They also tend to get profound in ways that even the most messed up human could not imagine.

It gets really weird. Super surreal. Like, Salvador Dali if he were a Millennial/Gen-Z kid, who was also at least a 6 on the baked scale. (10 is where it gets really weird though.) They'll either make no sense, or make a freakish amount of sense when you stop to think about them.

A good nightblog post will usually have you going "Wait wtf? No seriously I get it but wtaf?"

A good nightblog post will live quietly in your head for a bit and show up in your memory later to fuck you up all over again.

If you're the one making the nightblog, it'll hit like watching someone split a forbidden corn dog cattail open—going from zero to "BOOM" (well really more like "kerpliffff") in .60 seconds into the unmistakable urge to inflict your new blurse upon the world.

Speaking of which, nightblogging isn't always blursed? but it's pretty damn common. Be prepared to say "Oh no" a lot.

Lastly, somehow most nightblogging withstands the test of time...

Unlike this article.

(Fun fact—those images are two DIFFERENT dead articles!)

Get it together already!

#cyggie ramble #nightblogging #salt water taffy hour #fyi is my nightblogging tag #tutorial aside I'm dead serious #journalists and journalism companies have a responsibility to uphold where it comes to actually keeping its content alive #and this right here was one big fail

[heartisamusclethesizeofyourfist]

tell me the ana mardoll discourse 👀

Oh, that really sucked. Lengthy rant incoming, because this is one of those discourses that sucks up about six different issues and tangles them all up, and it continues to nag away at me in all sorts of ways. I've been trying to find a way to write about it here for a while, and it's been rattling around unproductively in my head, so I appreciate you providing me the spur to finally do it... maybe this will be the thing that finally lets me stop worrying at it. I suspect the tone's going to be all over the place.

*

So, about a month or so back, Ana Mardoll, a prominent social justice commentator on Twitter, turns out to be working for Lockheed Martin. Cue an absolute screaming flood of people delighted to see him knocked off his supposed moral high ground (like, huge amounts of glee, that don't quite feel in keeping with their supposed concern about the victims of Lockheed Martin weaponry)...

Because here's the thing; Mardoll gets people's backs up in the way people who talk about social justice stuff often do, but also for reasons that include ableism and transphobia and just sheer aesthetic distaste for how he expresses himself about his identities (idk, that was cited weirdly often in the celebrations of his downfall; it's bad enough to work for arms makers, but if you work for arms makers and you're a bit twee then God help you).

It also wasn't independent of the increasing backlash against neurodivergent people and the confidence we've gained as a community in talking about our stuff publicly. I'd noticed for ages that a lot of people moaned about him in terms that suggested his Twitter presence caused them significant ongoing rage, yet somehow they couldn't bring themselves to use the mute or block tools to free themselves from the sight of him. There was a lot of hate reading going on, is what I'm thinking.

But most of all, the people enjoying his reputation getting tanked tended to skate over the (well known and constantly referenced) fact that his job only came out when he got doxxed by a noted hate site as part of a lengthy saga of transphobic harassment (they'd gone after his family, even) - i.e. the people currently chasing keffals around the world, and who spend their time targeting autistic and trans people for harassment and - sometimes successfully - baiting them into suicide.

Normally left wing people are against doxxing, and against this website full of TERFs, Nazis and generally dodgy people, but re: Mardoll they were falling over themselves to ignore their principles, which was ironic because they were mad at him for ignoring his own principles. And of course that must've been a huge win for the hate site, as it showed them that if they picked a hated enough target, they'd get very little blowback, at least from cis people .

Moreover, the rush to cancel Mardoll on Twitter employed a great deal of ableist rhetoric which felt horribly familiar from the past decade-plus of UK media/Tory discourse on disability, work and benefits.

Basically, the Twitterati instantly assumed everything Mardoll was saying about his limited capacity for work, struggles finding suitable work, general income and financial stability was fake, and in the light of that assumption, they also tore to shreds things about him that were contextually unsurprising for a part-time working, disabled, self-published writer, i.e. his having a few income streams such as a Ko-fi, publishing stuff, and indeed crowdfunding for mortgage payments. There was a general assumption that he must be loaded, with self-publishing used to claim both that he was a failure and that he was raking in the cash.

They also made up daft strings of illogic, like "he says 'boy' in his profile; a boy is under 20 and therefore he is doing a massive con where he's posing as a nineteen-year-old" - which was a trip to read as an older Millennial who remembers Mardoll being a prominent early-2010s feminist blogger (and not being six years old at the time). That's easily verified with Google, but people were too perversely hungry for the situation to be somehow worse than "social justice guy works for an arms maker" to bother doing so.

And maybe everyone's worst suspicions about Mardoll are right; maybe I'm being desperately naive here. But I do know that people have been conditioned to think that disabled people are lying about work/money stuff, and they had no interest in considering how that default atmosphere of suspicion and condemnation around disabled people and work as a subject might well have made it harder for him to reach out to his online networks about seeking less morally compromising work . Or in the fact that the way the conversation was playing out was making a ton of other disabled people feel it was unsafe for us to speak about our own work or financial situations.

And c) surprise surprise, leftist Twitter then turns on disabled people when we point out that it's already bad enough the guy works for LM, but as he's highlighted that family connections were the only way he'd been able to get part-time, work-from-home gig that paid enough, then maybe there needs to be a bit of nuance in how we talk about this, and could they please bring this level of energy to actually improving material conditions of disabled people?

Don't get me wrong; I don't want to absolve Mardoll of working for flipping Lockheed Martin for fifteen entire years. I think there's definite questions a lot of us need to ask ourselves about what we're prepared to compromise on morally for our livelihoods, and for how long, and whether we're really as completely stuck as we think we are, or there might be chinks of light and possibility and it's only that the traumas of surviving an ableist world have beaten out of us the capacity to trust in them. (I know, like a lot of disabled people, a thing or two about feeling stuck.)

I found it disingenuous how people were ignoring that these questions of ethics in the job market bite disabled people a hell of a lot harder and more quickly than they do abled people, and it was so clear to me that the way it exploded on Twitter was incredibly counterproductive and 75% about the lulz/snark for a lot of people.

Treating Mardoll as the Absolute Worst also doesn't sit right to me when so many people on both sides of the Atlantic are government workers: how do you decide how much better working for a government with policies that do harm at home and abroad is than licensing software for an arms manufacturer, as Mardoll has been doing? Is it ever morally acceptable to work in HR for the DWP, given their persecution of disabled people? What about being an admin assistant at an asylum seeker detention centre? Are your hands clean if you profit from providing goods or services to the Tory MPs who devote their lives to policies that are killing people? Might a lot of people in fact need this stuff to be discussable?

And people really didn't want to know when we pointed out that, while fifteen years of being unable to get anything else does raise questions, ableist recruitment practices are incredibly common, many workplaces fail to offer disability accommodations, and it costs more to be disabled to start with.

Having watched at close range as disabled loved ones stuck for many years with employers that treated them like shit, because chucking the job in felt too risky, I don't find Mardoll's decision to sit tight all that surprising. Of course there are disabled people who courageously cling to their principles no matter what the personal cost, but the cost the bear will be a damn sight steeper than it would be for a non-disabled person, and that doesn't make them extra principled, it just makes this ableist world extra shit.

And the refusal to explore those questions when Twitter had recently spent months discussing recent US labour relations upheavals (for perspective, someone recently was said to have been digging for dirt on whoever runs the Jorts account), the politicisation of work-from-home arrangements, the risks to disabled people forced back into workplaces/universities/schools in person, trans healthcare being under threat, the more general healthcare costs/access mess in the US, the medical risks for women and AFAB people of living/working in certain states after the fall of Roe...

On my timeline, there was also a lot of Extremely Sudden Concern About Weaponry and Colonialism from British lefties who I had never once seen give a flying fuck about colonialism's equally real outworkings right here on their doorstep, i.e. Boris Johnson's ongoing efforts to absolve the British army of their Troubles atrocities, the disproportionate harm being done to Northern Ireland by Brexit, or the fact we literally don't have a functioning Executive right now: indeed, that's a common enough problem in Northern Ireland that this website exists:

https://HowLongHasNorthernIrelandNotHadAgovernment.com/

It was revealing to watch Twitter lefties well-actuallying disabled people about all the deaths and disabilities Lockheed Martin weapons have caused like that was some sort of gotcha; like nobody with a Twitter account could possibly have grown up in a conflict zone, or been disabled in a bombing, or live in a place where bombings and shootings still happen.

Like none of us lives in a place with a complicated peace, with the UK's highest rates of physical disabilities/chronic illnesses and mental health problems, of unemployed disabled people, and with suicides among kids who don't even remember the conflict, all problems you can't untangle from the fact this is a post-conflict society where social progress was stunted for so long. A place where the writer of that last piece was herself murdered a few years ago, because it still fucking happens in peacetime. Because the violence hasn't really gone away, not entirely. And nor has the violence of the state.

Anyway, that's why I can't get the Ana Mardoll discourse out of my head.

#a saga #tw: ableism #tw: transphobia #tw: suicide #replies to asks #the discourse

[darkgreenfangirl]

My complicated, messy feelings surrounding my parents.

Sorry in advance for how rambling and messy this is. I just needed to vent/rant.

Trigger warning: I at one point bring up a really transphobia thing my dad said. As well this post does talk about transphobia, and homophobia in general as well. I also talk a bit about my suicide attempt. I do not go into detail about it but I do bring it up.

I knew that I needed to face my growing messy feelings about my parents sooner than later. But I was putting it off, I think somewhat of guilt. My parents truly do love me, they have supported me since I came out as gay. Hell their giving me a roof over my head with no strings attacted! Compared to alot of people I have it good! Where do I have any ground to talk about my feelings? Where do I get off complaining about them? Sure they aren't perfect, and yeah they say some shitty stuff but in the end of the day shouldn't I just shut my mouth because they give me a home to live and food to eat?

It was actually seeing a post here on tumblr about someone else doing a shout out to people with complicated realtionship with parents who aren't bad or entirely good. That you feel so many things, but feel so guilty about them because they love you, sure they sometimes show that it in a way that isn't okay...And the blogger goes on to say that no your feelings are vaild! You're allow to feel sad, and angry! So here I am expressing those feelings.

The thing is my parents have said, and done things that have hurt me. My dad...yells alot, both at me and my mom. He has always had this temper, and he has said some really shitty stuff lately. Lately he has been parroting back some anti woke shit that the right has been pushing...specially about trans people. I have fought back about some of that shit, only for him to go "oh no that is really happening" or saying transphobia shit like "If a man wants to become a woman all the power to him but he is still a man". Yeah even writting that down makes me ill. I have tried to fight back, but he wont listen. What makes this so sad to me was that he has been at pride, he has said he supports the LGBTQ people! He says he support Trans rights! He has a friend that has a trans daughter but then he says this shit. I don't know how to get him to listen to me. It also really scary hearing him parrot back some of this right wing shit, while I'm not cisgender. I haven't put into words what my gender is but now I fear what my parents would say if they knew I was thinking of my gender? The same mom that once told me when I kind of joke that I wasn't a boy or girl that I didn't know what I was talking about, and that I am a girl and that was that.

But at the same time, when I was younger they use to say alot of homophoia shit, but as time passed they stopped. They went out and unlearned alot of homophoia, and have been huge supporters of me since. So maybe I can get them to unlearn their transphobia? Maybe they would embrace me just as they did when I came out as gay? But can I risk that? Also I just want my parents to understand that some shit they say are just wrong. That eveyone should have their human right to live in happiness without worrying about other people's "opinions" about them. That this isn't a matter of opinion! WHEN IT COMES TO HUMAN BEINGS, AND THEIR RIGHTS THEIR IS NO DEBATE. EVERYONE SHOULD BE EQUAL AND COULD YOU NOT SAY THIS TRANSPHOBIA SHIT WHILE SAYING "oh I Support trans people".

But I can't say this, because I live with these people! I don't have my own income, or anywhere to go if they suddenly decide I'm not respecting them. Or they will remind me how they stand with me and LGBTQ Rights. That they go to pride, and support charities so they can't be transphobia.

Then there is the things they said to child me that still affect me, and my sister. But yet they support us both going to secondary schools, supported us when were sad, always were there to support our passions, and truly loved us with all their hearts. I still remember how hard my dad cried when I tried to kill myself years ago. How my mom cried, and hug me. How they got me help, and them themselves when to a class like thing to learn about mental health. How they have yelled at people when they say homophobia things, and how dad no longer supports the church for this reason. They took me to swim classes, band, choir, and drama club. They watch anime (something they had no interest in) because I loved it! They taken me to cons, and support my nerdy loves! They have given so much money to help out my sister and her family. They have supported charities, janeway, and work every day to support both of us. But yet they have hurt us to. They have yelled at us, called us stupid for not doing things a certain way, told me that I can't be so opinionated because how will I get friends? They have judged friends, talked about their friends and family in ways that made me uncomfortable as shit. I just don't know how to face these issues without them losing their shit at me.

I love my parents, but they scare me sometimes. My parents love me so much, but yet have hurt me. My parents support me being gay, but yet say some transphobia shit. My parents support the LGBTQ community with charity and going to pride...but again say some transphobia shitt and parrot back right-wing shit. I don't know what to do and how to feel about them anymore. I love them, but sometimes I really hate them and it hurts when I do. Because they are my parents. Their my mom and dad, i love them so much. But they are messy people and it hurts to have the reilzation that your parents are not perfect people. It hurts hearing my parents say shit against my community and not understand how it is hurtful.

Sorry again for how messy this vent/rant is. I just needed to vent somewhere.

#Personal Vent #A post about my parents #Parents #DGF Rants/Vents #Signal Boost #If anyone has any ideas on how I can handle my parents transphobia please message me #tw: transphobia #tw: suicide mention #Tw: homophobia

[damazcuz]

what do you think of reblogging versus just liking a post, does it matter? personally i find it annoying how much people talk about it. i don't think it's that much of a problem and ive been here a few years now

On the one hand as someone who writes and draws and then posts that stuff I do fully get it, it sucks to post something you worked on and get 1 reblog and 4 likes on it. especially when its like "oh the last silly thing i posted got 60 reblogs and 100 likes what happened?" is it time of day, did my quality of work go down, was it not funny enough, was it too personal, did i draw it poorly, etc etc. going back thru my last handful of art posts, it's like how do I figure out what gets people to see this let alone reblog it to show other people? and no matter how much you Know that notes and numbers don't add up to any greater meaning about the worth of what you do, it's also like "huh! i spent a lot of time and put heart into this and it got 0 notes… and then this doodle got 600+" it's like #THINK. as an aside, I KNOW for me it's partially because some of my fandoms are big right now and have a ton of people, (DE) and/or are universally well known and carry nostalgia weight to boot (portal) and others are very small and maybe the 12 people who reblogged that piece ARE the fandom (metro) so part of it FOR ME is metering my expectations for "the numbers" based on "how many people who DO see this will even know what it is?"

anyway so on one hand. i do understand it, and i do agree that reblogging is the lifeblood of this site and without it we're all just going to sit in silence and like posts from "funnytwittertweets" (which as another aside, i have blocked, and yet i constantly see their posts recommended to me, i can click to their blog and view it without issue, and even reblog their posts so what IS the truth on that tumblr? can we start a conspiracy theory about content farm bloggers?) yeah i DO think it's better to reblog things than to sit silently and stoically tapping the like button, and it is Frustrating to figure out sometimes Why some things can take off and get reblogged and others can't. for me.

ON THE OTHER HANDS! i also like things all the time that I may or may NOT reblog later, I use my likes as a reference for things. videos and audio posts i can't listen to or watch right now because I'm at work or otherwise in public and don't want to play sound. art that i want a closer look at first, things i want to reference or fact check first, or even just "huh im scrolling without glasses and cant really see it but i'll check this out tomorrow morning." OR most often, i'm on OP's blog and it's such a pain to reblog From their url.tumblr.com/post/12343245234523 page repeatedly, i'm just liking the posts so that i can go straight into likes later and reblog them easily from there. i have followers that do something similar (they'll like my post and then 2 weeks later it's on their blog because they queued it, I also used to use a queue and would queue things strictly from like likes because It's Easier on desktop.)

numbers also mean nothing and notes aren't real, and as a personal thing, i find "likes < reblogs and follows!" "do not like unless you also reblog!" banners and stuff to be like. annoyingly passive aggressive and i won't interact with art and stuff if that's on there -_- like cousin if i want to reblog it i'll do it, and it makes me feel like, obnoxiously guilty if i want to reblog but can't in that moment (due to can't see it/ need more time to look it over / prefer to reblog from my likes page) so i simply choose to Not engage. it's the mental illness sire.

um overall i think reblogging is better and it's important. i don't want tumblr to turn into 99 corporate accounts that post stolen content and we all hold up a thumbs up in silence. that would suck and can we talk about why tumblr still shows me stolentwittertweets posts on my "for you" page? can we talk about that now?

#long post

[ptergwen]

smoke and mirrors

⇢ richkid!tom x richkid!reader ⇠

w/c: 4.1k

warnings: swearing, drinking, light angst, and implied smut

summary: because of your mother’s insistence on a pristine family image and tom’s messy one, you deny your true feelings for him

a/n: ok ok ok the pics of tom in monaco really made me think and i had to get everything out of my system so here we are! thank you and enjoy x

-

your living room is engulfed by a hushed chatter that comes from far too many guests. half the people, you hardly know. it’s overcrowded, superficial, and the last place you want to be. it’s one of your mother’s get-togethers, as she likes to call them. these things are always far from the casual affairs they sound like.

weeks go into planning, caterers and decorators making themselves at home in yours. the family’s image is everything to your mom, so being a good hostess is her top priority. ironically, she’s more concerned with throwing her gatherings than raising you. so much for family, huh?

the only reason you agreed to make an appearance tonight is that tom might do the same. he’s a really good friend, someone you’ve been able to count on through all the mess that is your lives. you met in high school, when he moved from london to the states. his dad was offered a job promotion he couldn’t pass up. plus, tom and his brothers would be receiving a stellar private education here in america.

it was a win for everyone, especially you. the freckle faced boy who got lost on his way to english class became your closest confidant. tom’s company is such a sweet escape. he’s not interested in opera or the stock market like most people you meet are. he sneaks you out to go on walks at dawn and does shots with you until you can’t stand straight.

as you two continue to grow together, revelations about yourselves have come to light. what you want beyond your inheritances, who you want beyond friendship. you figured out the second part on a faithful night recently. tom showed up to your place with a bottle of tequila. after you drank it down through lots of lime chasers and giggles, he kissed you. you didn’t kiss back.

your heart said to go for it, but your mind pulled you back in. you were so shocked and overcome with new feelings, you froze up. that, and you’d infuriate your mother. although she cares about tom a great deal, she loathes his public figure. he’s always getting papped in places and with people he shouldn’t be. the two of you together would just destroy her.

you still want to please your mom at the end of the day, no matter how deep under your skin she gets.

tom immediately apologized and tried play it off as him being drunk. you grew up with him, became part of each other’s families, which means you know him well enough to know he was lying. he meant every second his lips were on yours.

what you need to do now is something you’ve meant to for a while. the only problem is that you’re stuck at your mother’s party, and tom hasn’t shown up yet.

“y/n, darling,” your mom calls for your attention. she’s dragged you into a conversation with some bloggers, but you haven’t spoken a word. “why don’t you tell us about your trip to spain last summer?” she plasters on her award winning grin and squeezes your shoulder. it’s time to play along.

“oh, it was beautiful,” you halfheartedly reply, more to the bloggers than her. they nod in clear interest. one jots down notes. “we went for a few weeks and visited a bunch of different cities. i’d love to go back sometime.” the typical press formatted answer earns your mom’s approval. you’re off the hook. your eyes start to wander around the room, hoping to set on tom.

“we?” the woman taking notes asks. must everyone pry? “my friend and i,” you shortly reply. you’re standing up on your tiptoes to see over the crowd. you’d think six inch heels would do the trick. “i’m actually looking for him right now, so if you’ll excuse me,” you offer a polite smile and silently pray they won’t ask who. unfortunately, your wishes don’t come true.

the other blogger, a short and stubborn man, speaks up. “just a friend you say? come on, tell us. who’s the lucky fella?” he inquires. your mother raises a firm eyebrow, signaling for you not to.

tom has a reputation for his reckless behavior. it’s your mom’s worst nightmare when the media associates your names under most circumstances. you’re representing her, so she does whatever she can to control how you’re seen. you’re constantly in the papers, being a young socialite and all. it sucks.

“he’d like to stay out of the tabloids, sorry,” you cover for tom, on your mom’s behalf. “i should really go. it was nice meeting you.” the bloggers don’t bother to hide their disappointment as you shake their hands. your mother rubs your back in approval. “thank you for doing that. we’ll talk later,” she speaks lowly. “bye, mom!” you practically make a run for it. 

weaving through the sea of people, you end up by the main entrance. it’s hard not to get lost even though it’s your house. the place is packed with girls just a couple years older than you, wearing pearls around their necks. men’s strong colognes flow through the air. you’re in a form fitting red slip dress and louboutins yourself.

smoke and mirrors is what they call it. you show the pretty parts to distract from your ugly ones.

harrison suddenly comes waltzing in with a lady on either of his arms. you’d expect nothing less. he’s tom’s best friend besides you, considering the failed kiss attempt didn’t change that. their parents worked at the london branch of the same company. they each came to the states and met you. you happily introduced them to your world, helping to make it theirs as well.

“haz!” you meet him at the front door. he’s smirking while he leads the women inside. “fancy seeing you here, isn’t it?” he jokes. “very funny. i died laughing,” you deadpan, curiously eyeing harrison’s plus two. they merely giggle. “listen, have you seen tom anywhere? if he’s coming.” you’re fighting back a frown. “why wouldn’t he be?” harrison questions in a more serious tone this time.

“long story. you have guests to entertain, so i won’t get into it now,” you decide and manage a small smile instead. he perks up. “right. i’ll let you know if i see him?” nodding, you give him a wave goodbye. “enjoy yourself.” “you too, love. cheers!” the girls lean into him, harrison wiggling his eyebrows at you. he’s ridiculous.

hours pass by without word of tom. it isn’t like him to miss an event, especially if you’re in attendance. you despise these exhausting nights, and he’s supposed to be your rock during them. he should have his arm draped around your shoulders, whispering silly remarks to you while you hide out somewhere. you miss him more than you thought possible.

you’re just about to give up when you spot nikki ushering her husband inside. behind them follows tom, clad in a grey checkered suit with his locks perfectly tousled. he’s here. you waited the whole night, and he finally came.

tom kisses his mom on the cheek before strutting over to the drink table, not without a few reporters hassling him. they’re probably looking for another holland scandal to break. he declines their requests for comments on this and opinions on that, instead pulling up a chair next to harrison. the two exchange hugs and fix themselves glasses of champagne, you watching their encounter.

harrison fills tom in on the drama he’s missed tonight while they sip their drinks. tom keeps forcing smiles that don’t reach his eyes. he’s fiddling with his fingers, leg bouncing up and down steadily. those are the telltale signs he needs saving. however awkward it may be, you’re going to have to break your silence. it was bound to happen eventually.

“mate, i’m telling you. she fit her entire first right up her-“ “boys,” you cut into harrison’s story, greeting him and tom. his face tints deep pink upon your arrival. “don’t let me stop you. finish your charming anecdote,” you encourage him and subtly glance over at tom. he’s biting back a grin as he sets his elbows on the table.

“not with a lady present. let’s just… pretend you didn’t hear that,” harrison chuckles nervously and hops to his feet. “i’m gonna leave you two to chat.” humming, you move to take his chair. tom sucks in a breath. “what happened to the girls you brought?” you wonder. “they left. said they got bored,” harrison admits, tom stifling laughter. he elbows his friend for that.

“oh, fuck off. i’ll see you later,” he mopes, flicking your arm for good measure. tom salutes him and grabs his nearly empty champagne. “so long, bruv.”

it’s just you and tom now, seated side by side, silently so. he has no intentions of speaking first. he’s too embarrassed, and you don’t blame him. this is on you. you clear your throat before starting the conversation.

“can i top you off?” you tap the bottom of his glass with a tiny smile. tom shakes his head. “i’m alright, thanks.” he finishes the last sip and sets it down, turning to face you. your smile has vanished. “wasn’t sure you were gonna make it. i’m glad you did,” you change the subject. as if he’s considering the sincerity behind your words, tom furrows his eyebrows.

“mum wanted us to. she dragged me and dad straight off the golf course,” he explains and clasps his hands in his lap. his fingers interlock with each other. you fight off the urge to replace them with yours. “we would’ve been here sooner, but the paps are camped outside.” the hint of a smile forms on his lips, at last. “guess it’s not often you get the town’s finest under one roof.”

“you think i’m one of the town’s finest?” you tease, resting your chin in your palm. something flashes behind tom’s eyes. he looks right into yours, scooting closer. “absolutely. you’re the most eligible bachelorette in this whole building.” you allow a toothy grin to spread across your face. “tommy, stop it. you’re too nice to me.”

the nickname is music to his ears. tom looks you up and down, licking his lips simultaneously. “no, seriously. you look gorgeous,” he muses, you pushing at his chest. he exhales a breathy laugh, and you giggle yourself. “red’s definitely your color.” “reverse card. you wear it way better than i do,” you insist. your fingers tug at the collar of his suit. “too bad you didn’t match me.”

you’re relieved you two can talk like you usually do, light flirting and good vibes. it might not be so hard to put the kiss behind you. well, you can’t go on pretending it didn’t happen. you have to at least discuss the fiasco. tom should know why you didn’t reciprocate, then you can take it from there. whether he still has feelings for you, assuming he ever did, will depend on how that turns out.

“not to ruin the fun, but we still have to talk,” you murmur, tom’s body stiffening across from yours. he’s not sure he’s ready to discuss that. “can it wait? we’re at a party,” tom reminds you, running a hand through his styled locks. “yeah, my mother’s. don’t tell me you’re having a good time,” you playfully chastise him. he simply shrugs. “hardly. you’re the best part.”

you ignore the butterflies roaming about your body.

“you won’t mind a quick convo, then. it is with me,” you attempt to persuade him and place a hand on his knee. tom coughs a bit too loudly, the contact surprising him. “you know what? i think i’ll take you up on that drink first,” he decides with a mustered up smile. “coming right up.” you pat his leg before taking his glass. he chews on his lower lip while you poor the bubbling liquid. that was certainly… odd.

you slide tom his champagne back with an exaggerated wink. tom scoffs at this. “mm, thanks. care to join me?” he brings the alcohol to his lips, eyes never leaving yours. your mother specifically said no drinking tonight, since the press would be here. screw your mother, though. “please. could you hand me a glass?” you eagerly grab the champagne bottle. tom searches for an empty cup next to him.

you two are unspoken drinking buddies at this point.

“here you are, darling,” tom drawls, holding out the glass for you. every time he calls you that, you completely melt. “thanks, tommy,” you purr in response. you’re finally pouring your own drink when someone taps you on the shoulder, and hard. you look behind you to find your mother standing with her hands on her hips, less than thrilled. speak of the devil.

“hello, mother. can i help you?” you make sure to ask rudely. she responds with a smile that’s obviously fake. if tom weren’t here, you’d be getting scolded. “yes, my darling. those bloggers from earlier were hoping you’d finish your interview.” your mom shakes your shoulder in a motherly way. you squint up at her. “didn’t they leave hours ago-“ “they’re back,” she sharply informs you.

she’s lying, and you have a hunch as to why.

frowning, you hold tom’s hand in both of yours. “sorry, this won’t take long. why don’t you go find tuwaine?” you suggest instead. “he’s around here somewhere.” tom gives you an understanding nod and laces your fingers together, even if it’s only for a moment. “must be chatting up some producers or whatnot. i’ll see if i can help.” he’s such an incredible friend to everyone. he deserves the same from you.

“thomas, so lovely to see you,” your mom interrupts. tom stands up, kissing both her cheeks out of courtesy. “you, too. what a wonderful party. thank you for having us.” despite what the rest of the world believes, his manners are impeccable. “of course. give nikki my best, will you?” your mom puts her hands on his shoulders. he grins at her. “definitely. take care, mrs. y/l/n.” “always a pleasure,” she states, nudging you to come along with her.

you shoot tom one last apologetic look as your mother pulls you along and towards the crowd.

tom is no idiot. he’s well aware how she really feels about him.

when a swarm of guests is surrounding you, your mom lets go. you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest. “why would you do that? i haven’t seen tom in days.” she sighs without a care. “isn’t it time you branch out? expand your social circle?” her manicured fingers ruffle your hair. you push away her touch. “i’m social enough. we were in the middle of something really important.”

you begin to walk away, but your mother takes your arm. “whatever you’re about to do, it’s a mistake. he’ll make a fool of you,” she practically spits. yanking your arm from her grasp, you laugh bitterly. “of me, or of the family name? look around, mom.” you gesture to the spot beside her where your dad should be. “as far as i’m concerned, i have no family except tom. i’m gonna go check on him.”

you’re gone before your mom can stop you. she simply stands there, utterly mortified by what you said.

you run around the house to find tom, stumbling in your heels and not giving a fuck. you’d truly meant the part about him being your family. all the holland’s, honestly. they’re the most genuine and caring souls, and you don’t want to lose the one you’re closest to because of your mother’s delusions. 

tom is in a circle with harrison and tuwaine, the three of them chuckling amongst themselves. you’d hate to bug him, but this can’t wait anymore.

“uh, tom?” you mumble his name, appearing behind him. he steps away with another quiet laugh. “hey, y/n/n. that was quick, hm?” your face gives away your distress. his whole demeanor shifting, tom reaches for your hands. “what is it, love? is something the matter?” “just… come with me,” you croak out.

you manage to smile at harrison and tuwaine, dropping one of tom’s hands so you can lead him upstairs. they each return the smile and share curious looks.

following behind you, tom keeps your hand tight in his own. he’d thought you were going to grill him about the kiss that barely happened. it seems like this is a much more pressing matter. his outburst of emotions can be discussed another time. now, it’s time to deal with yours.

you drag tom into the first room on the second floor, which is your dad’s study. he’s away on business this weekend, so he luckily couldn’t make the party. tom sits down in the office chair. you sit up on the desk, in front of him. your lip quivers the second his worried features come into view.

“y/n/n, what’s going on? why are we in here?” tom wonders, his tone soft. your heart clenches. “i- i wanted us to have some privacy when i told you this,” you sniffle out and blink back the tears forming. you’re sort of shaken from the conversation with your mother, and mostly because you have no idea how tom will react to your confession.

his hands come to stay on your thighs, right below your dress. they feel warm against your bare skin.

“tell me what? i’m listening, yeah?” tom gazes up at you with so much love. “lay it all out for me.” god, he’s fucking amazing. if only you knew where to start. “do you, um…” you trail off, letting your tears subside and words settle. “do you remember when your family made your big debut in town?”

a grin replaces tom’s frown, painting his beautiful face. “how could i forget? you made it quite memorable.” he traces circles on your thigh and elicits a giggle from you. “i spilled a whole thing of soda on your white fucking button down,” you recount with a lighthearted sigh. “right before your dad was supposed to introduce you to everyone, too.”

tom presses his tongue into his cheek to hold back another grin. “took ages to get it out. dad went mad when i didn’t show.” he cocks his head to the side, you leaning back on your hands. “you held me hostage in the laundry room so you could do that bloody stain stick.” your mouth drops open in mock offense. “i had to clean up my mess! i wasn’t gonna let the world meet you covered in pepsi.”

that was one of your earliest memories together. the holland’s threw a party and invited everyone who was willing to attend. they had been hoping to properly introduce themselves to the town, and this was their way of doing so. although yours and tom’s friendship was fairly new, you spent all night together because you had experience with such events.

tom’s dad was making a speech to thank the guests for coming. you and him listened from the snack table, until his name was called. he rushed to go up there while you were pouring yourself a drink. he’d bumped into you, and the bottle ended up all over him. you snuck tom right off to his laundry room.

you’d felt terrible as he stood there shirtless and blushing, you aggressively swiping his button down with a stain stick.

“why do you bring that up?” tom questions and continues circling your skin. you purse your lips. “i dunno. it was the last party i actually enjoyed,” you admit, putting your hand over his that rests on your thigh. “like to reminisce when i’m suffering through one of my mother’s.” his eyes shift to where your hands are laced. “i see,” he affirms. “so, is that… all you wanted to talk about?” “not even close,” you laugh out.

a burst of courage coursing through your body, you say it. “when you kissed me the other night-“ “i won’t do it again,” tom cuts in, trying to avoid the rejection he thinks you’ll give him. “it was a mistake, and i’m so sorry. our friendship is more important than my feelings.” you seem excited to hear that, though it’s not for the reason tom expects. “you do have feelings for me?”

he’d forgotten about his i was drunk excuse.

“um, yeah. i do,” he admits, cheeks rosy and lip caught in his teeth. “but, i’ll learn to put them aside, if that’s what’s best.” “no, no. it isn’t,” you dismiss him and put your free hand on his chest. “i love you, tom. that’s what i was really trying to tell you.” your words bring an instant grin to his face. he chuckles in disbelief, standing from the chair.

“fuck, thank god. that’s all i’ve ever wanted to hear.” he’s between your legs now, his hands moving up to your hips. you’re beaming at him as your arms snake around his neck. a burning question comes to tom’s mind. “hang on. why didn’t you kiss me back, then?” he almost whispers, thumb brushing over your hipbone. “this is gonna sound weird, but… my mom,” you reluctantly let out.

“you’re gonna have to elaborate,” tom prompts you and raises an eyebrow. you can’t hold back your eye roll. “she’s never been a fan of the person you are in the media.” his lips form a line. “i gathered.” your fingers tangle in his curls at the nape of his neck reassuringly. “i was subconsciously scared i would be letting her down in some way, if we were together.”

tom allows your hands to work their way up to his scalp. he exhales contentedly as you play with his ever so soft hair. “i understand, she’s intimidating. what’s changed that brilliant mind of yours about coming clean?” your nose scrunches up when he pokes one of your temples. “oh, yeah. i yelled at her earlier ‘cuz she stole me away from you.” his face lights up. “sexy.” “shut up,” you groan. “someone had to tell her off.”

“good thing it got to be you,” tom agrees with a squeeze at your hip. “‘m proud of you, y/n/n. it’s not easy, standing up to mummy dearest.” you tug on his hair. “like you’d know. nikki is a saint.” “that’s what she’ll have you believe,” he says under his breath, you gasping. his lips turn up in a smirk. “on that note… i love you, too.”

“would’ve been embarrassing if you didn’t say it back,” you acknowledge with a cheesy smile. tom dips his head down to rest his forehead against yours. “yeah, yeah. save the attitude for your mum.” your legs easily wrap around his waist, tom’s breath hot as it hits your face. “let’s give that kiss another go,” you mewl. he doesn’t hesitate to reply. “with pleasure.”

tom’s lips land on yours, you kissing back right away. he smiles into it as your lips gently move together. “about fucking time,” he grumbles, your hands situating in his chocolate curls once again. he’s savoring every second you touch him, kiss him, love him. the taste of your mouth is one he’s craved for longer than you could imagine.

it doesn’t take long for things to heat up, you messing with tom’s hair and tom rubbing your hips. you lay back on the desk as his tongue enters your mouth. holding you by your waist, tom hovers over you. his tongue tangles with yours in a deep kiss. between that and his fingers beginning to massage your thigh, you’re done for. you’re ready to take this a step further by the time he’s kissing down your neck.

“tommy?” you grab onto his shoulders, your head back. his lips detach from your skin with a grin. “yeah, love? ‘s everything okay?” he coos, pressing a final kiss to your collarbone. “more than.” you tilt his chin up to peck his lips. “you wouldn’t happen to have a condom, would you? just thinking ahead.” he laughs breathlessly, reaching into his suit pocket.

“conveniently enough, i do. not sure your dad would like me fucking you on his desk, though.” tom sets his hand on your leg that’s still hooked around his waist. “my room’s always available. carry me?” you make grabby hands and bat your lashes. he hoists you up by your waist, not lifting you just yet. “that would break the news of us, no? your mum’s gonna go apeshit.” he keeps his arms around you, chuckling.

“let her. besides, i know a couple of bloggers that would love to announce our status update.” you peck tom’s lips, grinning as you do. you’re suddenly in the air and being picked up by tom. the surprise of it makes you squeal, clutching onto his broad shoulders instinctively. he gives you the look of adoration that’s reserved for you only.

“we’ll go pop a few bottles with everyone, then we’re celebrating on our own.”

#tom holland #richkid!tom #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you

[1111jenx]

Astrology Observ Rants: 🌜random placements🌛

Heyyyy!! So I was really inspired by this one fellow blogger that i have mutuals with on my tumblr feed and decided to start writing some rants!😆 Take this easy and have fun! Lemme know what you guys think down below:)

1. Leo Moon/Venus/Rising. You do not need others validation to feel happy. When people tell you to back off, back off. Repeat after me until that becomes real. I'm a Leo Rising/Venus so I truly know this best. Some of us really see red flag as a sign to chase lol

2. Are you really bestfriends with a Scorpio Venus if they never told you all of their sketchy schemes? Oh you didn't know that they created a fake Tinder account and spent 2 hours swiping left on the app at 1AM in the morning to see if they will find their s/o account? Even if their s/o is sound asleep next to them? You didn't know they do that? They probably not your bestfriend then😬 (Mix this with Virgo/Libra energy and you get a demon)

3. A big hug then a loving slap to all of my Gemini Sun with Leo Venus out there! Some of y'all are simply crazy possessive but refuse to show it somehow? Why do you feel so much but show so little? Being in love will not make you guys distracted. Show the world how big your heart is. My Leo Venus will really appreciate this thank you.

4. Sagittarius moon people... Are you guys like... Okay? Literally any sun with sagittarius moon are the worst overthinkers I've met in my life, worst temper too. I'm not sure why some people believe Sag moon slacks off and ignore the problem. In my experience I have not met any Sagittarius moon thats not either 1. confrontational 2. extreme anger issues 3. extreme identity crisis 4. truly feel bad when they did someone dirty and can owe up to their wrongs 5. STUDIOUS ( My mom has this and her sun is in Gemini and despite her age, she's currently learning 2 new languages and has traveled to most countries in the world, I'm serious)

5. I didn't really get why Sagittarius men have such a bad reputation until I met one. Wow. And y'all have the audacity to call Gemini men evil? Have you met a Sag man with water placements?

6. Gemini Rising please please please calm down. I love your energy when you're at your best. Literal sunshine! But your moodiness is INSANE and you guys have anxiety so bad sometimes I just wanna give y'all a hug.

7. Hey Aquarius Rising! It's time to let go of this toxic cycle. You know you deserve better. Clinging on people who won't share the spotlight with you don't do any good.

8. I'm sorry I typed formla instead of *formula! Now can you shut up and stop taking screenshots of my grammar errors? Yeah I'm talking about you guys, Virgo Moon/Mars.

9. I feel like no one ever talks about how Cancer Mercury can either never freaking open up??? Like at all??? Or can't shut up about their emotions??? Like its either the former or the latter it's tiring boo.

10. Gemini Mercury aspecting Venus. Please. Make a decision.

11. Capricorn mars energy makes me wanna bend over and let them torture me sometimes. But only when they're heartless and don't give a damn about me. When they start to care it's like they want us to elope ASAP.

12. I think it'd be best if Aries Moon people sit down and lock themselves up in a room when they're about to throw a tantrum. This will really help your relationships.

13. Pisces sun women and their relationships with their grandparents. A lot of Pisces I know grow up with their grandparents!! Not a rant just a fun fact lol.

14. Pisces Moon people are delusional. I said what I said. Y'all really believe blasting "Attract my ex come back to me affirmations RHZ" will manifest your ex back in your life. Get a therapist. (I'm a Pisces moon so I know. Don't come for me)

15. Finally, Leo sun with Libra venus❤️ I read somewhere saying that you guys are angels! You are. But in the same time. Some of y'all will risk it ALL when you want someone. I mean literally. Stop it.

love,

saint jenx🪐

#astrology observations #astro notes #astrojenx #astrology #libra rising #astrology notes #leo venus #libra sun #moon in scorpio #astrotips #leo sun #aries moon #cancer mars #cancer mercury #gemini rising #piscesmoon #scorpio venus #libra venus

[riverisnotsafe]

Mine.

PAIRING: F!Servant!Reader x Naoya Zenin

WARNINGS: NAOYA ZENIN. Naoya smut. NSFW, Minors DNI. | If you're into any of these: possessive Naoya, breeding kink (?), mentions of overstimulation, jealous Naoya.

A/N: You can call me Noct or River. I’m still fairly new to how tumblr works and how writers and bloggers (?) write their imagines/fics so I do apologize in advance if my writing is not to your liking. I will also post on AO3 under sunflowerpsycho. I'm still trying to improve^^ This was self-indulgent and not edited so pretty all over the place and might be unclear in some parts, sorry bout that.

The reader lowkey a pick me but depends on how you view her, either she's a pick me or she just acts the way she acts to accustom and stroke the lil bitches ego.

“A-ah! Naoya-sama!” you moan his name as he shoots his load deep in you. A few moments of bliss and you were ready to clean yourself. Naoya never liked staying in bed long after sex. He finds it disgusting. All the fluids of sweat, semen and love juices mixed together made his skin crawl. “Oi woman, where are you going?” You haven’t even gotten up but Naoya had you strongly wrapped in his embrace. His cock still deep within you, as if acting as a plug. “I’m gonna wash myself..? You don’t like being dirty like this...usually?” the last bit came out as a question when Naoya buried his head deep into the crevice of your neck. “Ah, I’ll let it pass today. Just stay here. My cum is gonna leak out if you move.” he tried to shove himself deeper, earning an unexpected moan from you. “L-leak out???” Does Naoya have a breeding kink? Is he trying to keep his cum in you???? “N-naoya-sama...are you trying to breed me?” at the mention of breed, you could feel his dick twitch in your core. “Shut up woman.” Ah...so he is and he’s embarrassed to admit. “I feel honoured if that’s what you’re trying to do...” another twitch.

Under that tough misogynistic act, this man is just a boy who thrives on praise, he probably was deprived of any in his childhood, hence the superiority complex. But with you, he’s quite honest. The body doesn’t lie. You were just another servant. He probably paid and slept with many so you never thought of it as anything special. Besides, after all of this dirty work, both of you end up going your separate ways. A servant and the young master. That’s all it is. That is until one of the maids tried stealing from the family, unfortunately from Naoya and he didn’t take it too lightly. A woman and a thief, absolutely the worst. Ever since that, he appointed you as his personal maid, to ensure that only one person will serve him. Only one will enter and exit his quarters. Only one will serve his meals. Only one will tend to him. Only one will follow him around the house. Only one will keep him company when needed. Why did he choose you? Honestly you had no idea. Out of all the servants, clearly you were the least appealing, especially for a man of Naoya’s caliber.

You could never rival the looks of any of the other girls. You were chubby. Your thighs a bit too thick. Your cheeks were puffy. You had no thigh gap. Curves? Well, they weren’t hour-glass curves so you were bedrock bottom ranked. And when it came to family, you were a nobody. All the other servants have been serving the Zenin clan for generations. You were just a nobody who was pulled into the servant life to pay off your parent’s debt. What luck. It took him time though, to make you tend to him sexually. He might have a big ego and any woman would sleep with him but deep down he knew it was only for money and his looks, which he prided on. The sex was always bland. He could care less about the women’s pleasures, he would ejaculate outside, toss them money and demand them to immediately leave. He found them disgusting. Weren’t you just the same?

He had a great face, an even better body and all the riches you could’ve dreamt of, so why has he not tossed you out yet. He for sure can suspect that you’re just the same as all those women, plus, you were even lower, a nobody. Yet, here he is, deep inside you. This has been..about the sixth time you and Naoya have had intercourse. The first three times was when you were just a normal servant. Coincidentally he always found you and forced you to pleasure him. The pay was good so you never complained. After becoming his personal maid, it took a few months to make you fulfil his sexual needs, which is rather strange. A man like knows nothing of consent. He’s a tyrant. What he wants, he can get and he will. So why did he take months to make you fuck him when it was so easy before becoming his personal servant. Who knows? Maybe it was his underlying insecurities asking him to be sure.

“Naoya-sama...may I turn to look at you?” he grunts. “I’ll be sure to avoid any leakage” he nods. You slowly turn your body, still impaled on him. It was a different kind of pleasure but you withheld your moans. Your face are so close. This moment is intimate, for you and him. Almost unreal. He’s gorgeous. That red tint of blush and sex afterglow just added more to his beauty. “Naoya-sama. May I speak more than usual?” “Only because you asked for permission. Proceed.” he avoided looking into your eyes. A shy one. “I appreciate my master’s kindness. Thank you for allowing me to speak. Naoya-sama...please be honest with me. Are you trying to impregnate me? Why? I’m just a lowly servant. I could never be perfect to bear your children, or be a concubine. I have no value. You are too kind. We should stop. I will remove myself now. Thank you for your time master.” You slowly push yourself off him. He grabs your arm harshly, definitely bruising it.

“You said no leakage. And how dare you speak to your master so insolently? How dare you question what holds value to me or not. You are a lowly servant. You’re a filthy no-name bitch. You live to lick my shoes and pick up money I throw on the ground. You are not going anywhere. You are staying on this bed with me in you. You have to be reminded who your master is.” Oooh, you definitely pissed him off. You winced at his words. They were normal, he always told you where your place is so it wasn’t a surprise. “You stupid woman. Now it’s out. You moved and now it’s out.” he sounds disappointed. He was whining like a child. “Naoya-sama!” he plunged into you hard. “Yes, scream my name you stupid bitch.” He went faster and faster. “Don’t cum inside...I’m not worthy master” “Shut your mouth. Worthy? No woman is worthy of me. Selfish. All they care about are themselves. Such an inferior gender thinking what they know is worthy? I decide. I decide your worth.” He changed positions. He pressed both your legs close to your chest. A mating press. He was so deep. The squelching of his previous load acting as lubricant was erotic.

“You. Your lewd body. You were always trying to seduce me. Those luscious thighs. These fat breasts. You were made for child-bearing. The look you make when I fuck you. So in awe, eyes rolling back. Ah. Ah. Sometimes you even forgot payment because you rushed to clean yourself. You were the only memorable one. The sounds you make. You’re erotic. No one else can see or hear you except me. Mine. Mine. Mine.” Naoya drilled you senseless. So desperate to hear you. Desperate to look at your expressions. Desperate to conquer you. “N-naoya-sama! Ah! Ah! Naoya-sama!” You had practically lost any sense and all you could feel was his dick fucking you mercilessly. The veins. The length. The girth. He fit like a glove. He had shaped you to be accustomed to him. “When that no-name clan came yesterday for a meeting. I saw your look. You enjoyed how they all looked at you didn’t you? You slut. You’d want them to fuck you like this right? Only I can though. You smiled and served them. Desperate bitch.” The meeting yesterday?

Your mind wandered. Oh yes, a small clan that are partners with the Zenin in business. The heirs were quite good-looking and well-mannered, how could a lady not feel flattered. You can’t remember if you specifically smiled or enjoyed their small talk. Was being polite not a simple necessity a servant should have towards guests? To ensure their master was not seen as tardy. You can’t remember their names or faces. All you remember was Naoya slipping his hand under your garments and fingering you. “You enjoyed people watching right? Especially since they were good-looking. I WAS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. Disgusting piece of shit.” He got even rougher. You don’t know how many times you’ve orgasmed and how many times Naoya had ejaculated in you but he was still at it. He’s jealous huh.. how strange. A man that could have anything and anyone in the world was strangely possessive of a worthless woman like you. “You can’t show them those expressions. Mine. Your kindness mine. Your sounds. Mine. You’re my servant.” he sounds sad.

Despite being in subspace, you unintentionally reach out to your master and cub his face. “Naoya-sama. I love you.” Those unintentional words made the malicious man slow down his pace. “What did you say?” Is he angry? Oof, all the best dealing with another tantrum. You couldn’t feel anything. Legs sore. Your mind had wandered. The pleasure had made you dumb yet the little consciousness you have for your master remained. “I love you, Naoya.” His cock twitched. “Again” “I love you.” “Again” “I love you, Naoya-sama”. All that repeating made you come to your senses. “I don’t remember the men from yesterday. All I remember were your thick fingers in me. My expressions and mewls were for you. If this body is what you want then I will offer it all to you, my master. Ask, you are my master after all. All of me is yours.” You get up a bit, and stagger, he fucked the life outta ya. “Master, allow me to speak.” a small dumbfounded nod. You slip a hand onto his cheek and kiss him. Both of you never shared a kiss.

It was too intimate for a servant to kiss their master. Only their betrothed would be worthy but you couldn’t help it, you needed to assure this man-child, you were no one else’s. “Master, I-“ “Naoya. When we’re alone call me Naoya.” a small smile crept onto your lips. “Naoya, breed me.” His face was flushed. That’s exactly what he wanted. Through the night, he fucked you in every inch of the room. Both of your fluids and smell, absolutely drenched his quarters. He never once ejaculated outside. Every drip of his semen was in your womb, he wouldn’t even pull out, in fear it would leak. Shower? He fucked you while showering too. His animalistic senses stopped when a knock on the door came.

“Lay down with your back arched. It can’t leak.” He put on a robe and answered. A woman’s voice. “Naoya-sama. Naobito-sama is calling for you.” “Tch. Annoying old man” he slams the door shut. “Oi. Arch even more.” He came back to you. “I’m going to put this in you so you don’t spill.” He was holding, A DILDO? This man has a dildo? “N-naoya-sama, t-thats...” “Some servant I had my way with some time ago left it to fuck with me. I kept it not knowing what it was but now the shape looks like it’d plug you up good.” A servant he had his ways with huh. You were just another one right. He seemed to have noticed your train of thought. “Stupid woman. That servant is long gone. And now. You’re mine. No other stupid bitch except you. Stop thinking nonsense. Maybe I’ll remind you a bit more. That old man can wait.” He unrobed and pounced you. You definitely can’t walk for a few days.

“I’ll plug you up and we’ll go see the old man” he sounds, quite joyful. “If you move and leak, I won’t hesitate to fill you up again.” Ah. He’s definitely Naoya Zenin. “Naoya-sama” you smile. “What? You should be grateful that I’ve allowed you to speak so many times since last night.” You can’t help but giggle. A slight blush forms on Naoya’s face. “How dare you laugh at m-“ you pull him in for a kiss. He reluctantly kissed back. “Naoya-sama, I love you.” you smiled. He thrusted into you without warning. “The old man can definitely wait. You filled with my child is more important.” God knows how many times he’d come in your womb without pulling out, there’s no way you’re not pregnant. “Naoya-sama...let’s stop here...I can’t walk properly if we continue, then a different servant will have to serve you.” He was about to argue but held his tongue. “Fine.” He pulled out and slowly shoved the dildo in. Looks like he’d rather have wobbly-legged you than another servant. You can't help but smile. “Go shower and meet me back here. And clean the room after meeting with the old man. The smell...erotic but dreadful. Wash everything.” “Yes my master.” You hurriedly got clothed and rushed to the servant quarters to clean up. You were happy. What a weirdo.

#jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #naoya zenin #naoya zenin smut #naoya zenin x reader