#i want my comfort person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rinrinlovee · 6 months

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need to be sent to the seaside for my health

#I have been soooo hypervigilant lately #It's killing me #every sound and creak and stranger coming too close is an immediate threat #I'm sure the random screeching yesterday didn't help with alleviating my feelings of always being unsafe #Even sitting on the sofa in the living room I am constantly looking over my shoulder #At this point I'm kind or scared that something did abuse/assault me and I've just suppressed it so well I have no idea #Because I know I had a kind of sheltered upbringing and was brought up to be dubious and aware of everything #especially when alone in public or with men #but at this point it feels so overkill #everything is very scary and I desperately want comfort yet there is no one here #The only person I've ever felt truly safe with in public is long gone #it feels like no one else takes my anxiety seriously enough #I'm just so very exhausted of always comforting myself through everything #i want my comfort person

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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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mroddmod · 28 days

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little scrapped comic bc it felt a bit ooc to me in hindsight

#tbb #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch season 3 #tbb tech #tbb omega #i was worried that this wouldn’t really come across as i intended #i’ve heard a lot of people complain about the characterization of tech in fanon #they make him a lot less capable than he is in canon just because he is the ‘nerd’ of the team #which i totally agree with #so i didn’t want it to seem like i was doing the same #i just think that tech would have a difficultly expressing some of his vulnerability around his brothers because they are so often stoic #(and frequently make fun of one another)#and omega might be the first person he feels comfortable in letting that side of him show #idk #just a sweet idea to me #anyway i decided i wasn’t going to finish this because of my fear of being misinterpreted but i did like how these sketches turned out #so here :)#a little treat #mods art #my art #mods draws #star wars #sw tbb #star wars the bad batch

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bi-booklover · 2 years

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repeat after me.

QUEER CHARACTERS ARE NOT PLOT DEVICES FOR STRAIGHT CHARACTERS.

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ryllen · 4 months

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x

#reading this meme gives me comfort #twisted wonderland #twst #this is just what i think #who would u swap and where #honestly jack is probably the first and second tier once he gets comfortable with you #like it is so kind and warm it actually makes u forget ur woes #kalim and ace are just the tight huggers that's why they are on the top list #they squish u and that serotonin out #u're just little pouch of serotonin in their hands #trey is between giving u awkward back pat or hugging you #but i like to think even tho he's just pretending his hug is very comforting #deuce is just bewildered confused and flustered that's why he doesn't return the hug immediately #but he sure wouldn't want to let go afterwards #cater might seem like he would give a good hug but i imagine his true self be like o . o and then switch to ^ - ^ immediately after #vil is just a kind person in my eyes #he is mature and calm and nurturing if he wants to #i alter the meme wording by a bit to fit my perception more #if u put the birthday boy icons together it makes a heart omg #ruggie is honestly confusing me #he would probably only hug wholeheartedly if money is on the line #but i think he hugs his family and the kids at the slum very lovingly #idia is probably between the third and fourth tier but maybe he leans more towards hugging back than patting on the back #patting in the back is probably too cool for him #floyd'd examine u first and giving the how dare u touch me look menancingly but then be like ehe bcs it's little shrimpy i'll forgive u~

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elitadream · 7 months

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As soon as I began receiving asks about Junior regarding my body swap concept a few days ago, I knew I wanted to add him in a short sequence. 💙

I've considered many different scenes in which he would be included, but there was one in particular that kept coming back to my mind, and it was the exact moment he would agree to safely lead Luigi to "Bowser" (aka Mario). In this specific scenario, he would be mostly oblivious to what's going on, and would thus show palpable mistrust towards Luigi at first, who he doesn't really know and hasn't yet opened up to. But upon seeing how distraught the poor man is, Junior would feel for him and let his guard down. 🤲

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financeprincess · 7 months

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Part of me is starting to think all the rules are made up. Everyone who is successful has gone against popular narrative and expectations in some way or form, sometimes in a multitude of ways. Most other people are just operating out of fear anyway and trying to keep you down subconsciously because it defies their narrative. Do whatever the fuck you want.

#I still need money tho…#and I refuse to live the crunchy granola bare bones lifestyle anymore #I want opulence and luxury and comfort and ease and freedom #just trying to figure out how to monetize my personality and presence at this point

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mintjeru · 1 year

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rough day?

open for better quality | no reposts

#kaveh #alhaitham #kavetham #genshin impact #genshin #fanart #myart #doodle #i'm fine!! probably. i just wanted to draw alhaitham being comforted #while it is funny that he became acting grand sage despite not liking leadership positions-#i do feel bad for him just bc those positions often entail much more stress and work #kaveh gives him hug hugs and patpats and chu chus to help him feel better! and they will talk about whatever's bothering him #while i would love to wish for alhaitham this coming update i think we all know my priorities lie with a certain adeptus #i will have him eventually though #for kvthm reasons and personal reasons #unrelated but i also got k.hadein b.yleth in feh this morning. if anyone plays #snagged two 4 stars early into pity and decided that was a sign to stop #it's good though i have feathers so he's a merged 5 star now #didn't even have to whale 😌#'whale' meaning i spend the 2k orbs i've been saving since forever

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saetoru · 6 months

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something that’s always been funny to me is that long fics with smut tend to do better than long fics without but it’s like. if you write a longggg 10k+ word fic with a build up and plot and sprinkle in smut at the end, people will read that long build up and pay attention to the plot in order to get to the smut. and 99% of the time the tags and comments will talk about the plot itself and the way it was written as opposed to the sex and they will ask for more or for part 2’s and as annoying as the part 2 comments can be sometimes, it also means that they focused on the plot and not the smut. but if you post that fic without the smut—as in same fic and same build up and everything, but the smuts not there, a lot of those same people will simply not give the fic a chance. it’s just funny to me bc yes, a part of it is just horniness, but also i think it’s partly that there is also some conditioning to believe that a “perfect romance” or a “perfect story” of a romance is sealed with intimacy that’s more often than not sexual in order to actually be valid. and yeah. idk. it’s an interesting thing to see from a writers perspective

#me personally i write what i want im at a comfortable place in my writing that #i don’t rly feel i need to add that smut to get engagement #partially bc i think im blessed with readers who are very kind to me and always reiterate that they would read whatever i put out #i have so many anons that tell me they don’t know anything ab genshin but they read my works for the fandom anyway bc i wrote it and i feel #grateful that there will always be an audience i can count on to support my writing #but partially also bc i’m also happy w my writing that if i did post a fic that had not smut and it didn’t rly get attention i wouldn’t feel #disheartened by it bc writing it was meaningful to me #but #ig it’s just an interesting divide to see of like ‘i won’t read it without smut’ vs ‘i will read it with or without for the story !!’

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turtleblogatlast · 4 days

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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #the prison dimension is horrifying on its own #add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is #Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there #it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo #personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension #so it’s a prison in all ways #but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really #because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile #nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him #and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual #one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that #should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination #I’m unwell about this family #actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities #but to their relationship to family and love in general #kinda like love languages in a way #Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe #Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind #Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible #and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway #like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home #even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there #and that’s enough

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arthursfuckinghat · 1 month

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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."

"It ain't that complicated!"

How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.

#he makes me feel so emo #this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced #the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me #like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago #not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it #the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts #it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval #hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly #arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart #the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it #his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind #and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived #and hosea notices he knows this #but they still jab at arthur #oh it hurts #is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #mick rants #mick gifs #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #liveblogging #you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty #and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort #he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole #he doesn't want that touch he craves #it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us

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smultronviol · 13 days

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Ppl going "waaahh unpopular opinion but Alice is kind of annoying and obnoxious and I don't think I'd like be her friend irl" is so funny to me bc like.

God forbid a cast of characters be multifaceted and have actual flaws and unpleasant aspects other than "grr angsty hero" and "whoops i'm so clumsy". Sometimes character dynamics and arcs need to be prioritized above "who would i personally be niceys with irl"

2. bro just WAIT until you hear about season 1 jon lol