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queers-gambit · 3 months

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Lost and Found

prompt: ( requested ) you're just friends, but on your first night at Saltburn, you get lost in the vast halls and accidentally walk in on lover boy after a bath. he wants you to stay.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 3.6k+

note: this SHOULD'VE gotten slutty, but it DIDN'T because i'm back in the hospital and the LAST thing i need is a nurse walking in on me writing fucking smut - oh, my God, can you imagine? new fear unlocked!

warnings: RIP Queen Lizzie, cursing, sexual tension, emotions are hard, Lord's name in vain, depiction of mental illness (anxiety), author throws in a little personal detail cause writing is therapy.

"Honestly, who lives in a place like this? The bloody Queen, that's who. Her and all her fucking rooms! Jesus!" You grumbled, dipping down another winding hallway. "All right, this looks familiar, that's... Encouraging, right?" You frowned, glass of water in hand after venturing to the kitchen to fetch it - but now, you couldn't navigate your way back to your room. "Of course," you growled quietly, opening a door and finding a linen closet.

How silly, in a place like this! A fucking linen closet!

You huffed and shut the door, feeling incredibly awkward and terribly misplaced. You mind screamed that didn't belong here, you never should've set foot in a place like this! How fucking foolish you felt, like a silly little girl who was just excited her crush spoke to her, let alone invited you home with him for the summer holiday.

But it was Felix fucking Catton - certified enigma. He was all man with a boyish charm who smiled at you on move-in day at Oxford and sealed your fate. He was ridiculously nice, so very sweet, borderline annoying with his giving nature and kindness. He was loyal to a fault, intuitive, observant, admirably carefree, and so very happy to give his love to anyone who needed it. For a few weeks, you felt almost offended by his attention, wondering what kind of broken soul he thought you were; knowing he had an affinity for "damaged" or "broken" things.

At least, that's what his cousin, Oxford's registered and certified catty bitch, Farleigh Start, teased you about relentlessly when he noted the way Felix hung around you. Felix invited you out with friends, offered to study together, walked you to and from classes - even if his were in the literal opposite direction. You had no honest idea how the two were related, given Farleigh's constant attitude and Felix's overwhelming kindness, but that wasn't for you to understand. You just relished the attention Felix bestowed in-between your skepticism.

And here you are, your first night in his home, Saltburn, completely lost and totally turned-around! You didn't need water all that bad, did you? Granted, you had a several tablets to take that evening to maintain your health, but you could've used the fucking sink in the adjoining bathroom! You grew frustrated the more doors you opened, finding empty rooms or closets or another fucking library or studies or whatever! As if this home wasn't big enough, there were multiple levels and all you knew was that you and Felix were both located on the same floor with his parents above you and his sister and Farleigh beneath.

So, that helped.

But you still felt so fucking silly.

Seriously, who got LOST in someone else's home!? Fools, that's who!

Okay, okay, okay, you didn't need to be so hard on yourself, but you grew nervous and fearful for a reason you didn't understand. Your anxiety was planted in your stomach, festering, growing, taking over you to the point that you had tears in your eyes when you found yet ANOTHER fucking study!

"Oh, even the bloody fucking Queen doesn't have this many useless rooms, and she's a much bigger family, Jesus fucking Christ," you sneered to yourself - ready to give up and just sleep in one of the empty rooms. But you didn't want Duncan finding you in the morning, asking questions, forcing you to admit you were lost - you felt humiliated enough as it was! And that was without anyone witnessing this absolute mess you had made!

Well, not technically a mess - but you felt like a mess the more you crept around. And now, you felt fucking creepy - like some stalker, sneaking around the halls, trying to spy on this very nice family. You knew you weren't, but the feeling was still there - fucking anxiety would honestly be the death of you.

However, you came upon a familiar (enough) door that had a gentle light emitting from under it. With a sigh of relief, you suddenly remembered leaving a light on for yourself to return to; reaching for the doorknob, twisting it, and darting into the room while swiftly swinging the door close - but halting it to shut quietly as to not disturb anyone in the empty halls.

Yeah, anxiety was a bitch.

"Ohh-ho, evenin', love," a voice greeted, making you gasp, jump, and twist around. "Miss me that much? Heard the drain on the tub, didn't yah, had to come sneak a peek?"

Felix fucking Catton stood at the end of a messy bed in all his glory, running a towel through his wet curls. Nothing obscuring your sight, nothing hiding his manhood, nothing - literally nothing on his body except a shit-eating grin.

"Jesus, Fi! Fuck, I-I-I'm so - um," you gulped, trying not to ogle him, but failing (miserably) when beads of water rolled between the contours of his impossibly impressively sculpted muscles. "I just - you know, this place is so bloody big - um, I'm sorry - I just... Yeah..."

He smirked, nodding sarcastically, "Uh-huh. And you just happened to stumble into my room? Pretty good timing, too, wasn't it?"

You squeaked, "I didn't mean to! I swear - Felix, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to, um, yeah, you know - uh..."

"Like what you see, sweetheart? Why don't you come in closer, get a better look?"

You adverted your eyes out of respect and fumbled messily for the door handle. "Oh, sweet Jesus. Bloody house is just too bloody big, I got all turned around - just needed some water and I just - fuck, I'm sorry - "

"Hey, hey," Felix chuckled, wrapping his towel loosely around his hips so his V-line was still on raunchy display, "I'm only teasin', love. I know this place can get confusin' t'newcomers. I actually meant to grab you some water, know you gotta take your tablets."

You swallowed your embarrassment, sighing, "I'll just - yeah - no - I'll, um, just go - I'm so sorry, again."

"You know where you're goin' all of a sudden?"

You faced the door, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, shaking your head gently, "Well, no, but I'll figure it out - I left a, um, I left a light on, you know, to help - I don't know - uh, guide me?"

"You've not stuttered this much since we first met," he laughed, tugging a pair of boxers on for your sanity (and to your dismay). "I'm dressed, doll, you can look at me now. C'mon, bit weird talkin' to your back."

"We're not talking, Felix, I'm going to bed."

"Then why haven't you left yet?"

You blinked at the intricately carved door, realizing your hand was still on the knob, but it hadn't turned. "I didn't want to be so rude as to just walk out, mid-sentence!"

"Hey, hey, you're all right, darlin', I'm only teasin'," he grinned, hearing his bare feet pad over the ground before his warm hand wrapped around your elbow. "C'mon, love, hang with me a bit - 's not that late, is it?"

"Oh, so, Duncan can walk in? Make his assumptions?" You whispered, slowly facing him and leaning back on the door with a pout. His big, brown, doe-eyes stared directly into yours, making you feel under his spotlight - something akin to a privilege, since Felix Catton didn't bestow his attention on everyone. "I just needed water, I didn't mean t'get, you know, lost like this. Seriously, this place looks totally different at night."

"Surprised you even got this far, huh?"

"I looked in any room with an open door," you admitted with a small wince. "I felt so creepy, but I was all turned around - and you know, you shouldn't leave other lights on in rooms not being used. Terrible waste of energy."

"Awh, my sweet, environmentally-conscious girl," he cooed, hand raising to gently pinch your jaw. There was a serene moment, the pair of you just staring at one another, becoming acutely aware that he was still practically naked. "C'mon, don't leave yet, we can play cards if you like?"

"I've medicine t'take - "

"Right, right, right," he nodded, letting his hand drift to hold your neck in a gentle grasp. "Tell you what, you stay here, I'll grab your meds, and bring them back? You keep 'em in that li'l pink bag, yeah?"

"I don't know how to feel that you know which is my med bag," you narrowed your eyes playfully.

"Just shows I pay attention, don't it?"

"Maybe shows we spend too much time together?"

He kissed his teeth, grinning at you, "There's no such thing - in fact! I reckon we could double our time together and it still wouldn't feel like enough."

"Well, how's that help me later? I still don't know where my room is - oh, don't laugh!" You groaned, Felix snickering louder. "Fi, c'mon, it's not funny - this place is huge! Like, illegally huge!"

He cooed, "Oh, doll, 'M not laughing at you, promise. Just... You're not the first person t'get lost here, yeah?"

You scoffed with severe discomfort, "I really don't want t'hear 'bout all the other girls you've brought home - "

"Hey, now," he cut you off swiftly, "don't do that." He shrugged meekly, "There's been no others, just friends. Mine, Farleigh's, Venetia's... They've all gotten lost once or twice... Or that time we had to actually draw Reggie a map, poor lad got lost around every bend."

You rolled your eyes, "Truly expect me to believe that, do you?" Then you let your eyes widen a fraction, teasing, "Oh, wow, you really believe it! You really believe you haven't brought home other girls who you're interested in or who are into you?"

He crowded you into the door, shifting the room's energy to something sultry, making you hold your breath as his hand slid into your hair. "You know you're the only one, right?"

"You know that's absolute bullshite, right? Like, what a fucking line!"

He tisked, "C'mon, doll."

"Be honest, Felix."

His head cocked, "Want the truth?"

"That'd be a nice change of pace."

He scoffed lightly, "I don't give a single fuck if any of our previous guests cared for me - only you. Hear me?" He took the last step so he was stood with his feet slotted between yours. "I didn't bring them here for any other reason than friendly entertainment. You've seen the place, as big as it is, can get a bit lonely without anyone to hang with. But I asked you here... For different reasons..." He whispered, eyes jutting down to your lips as he kept a firm hold on you.

"And what reasons are those, Fi?"

He smirked, "Obviously... To kick your arse at cards."

You were flooded with pure disappointment. Raw, unfiltered disappointment that deflated your shoulders. "Yeah, right, like that would ever happen," you covered, nudging him a single step away from you. "Wanna be a gentleman and direct me to my room now?"

"Nope," he grinned, snatching your hand and yanking you away from the door. "You're gonna sit your pretty self right here," he nudged you to the edge of his bed, turning for his desk, then turning back to you to slap a deck of cards to your hand, "you're gonna shuffle these, and mentally prepare to get your arse handed to you at your own game."

You chuckled slightly, "Thought you hated 51 Rummy?"

"Only when sober," he smirked, leaning down to peck your forehead sweetly. "Sit tight, doll, I'll be a moment, yeah?"

You sighed and watched him exit the room, reaching to set your glass of water down and observe the room. In a moment of weakness, you pet over his sheets as if tempted to snuggle into them - and you were! You were cold from the lack of robe you meant to shrug on, and wondering the halls of Saltburn took much longer than you anticipated - now wanting to dive into the warmth you knew was left, the same warmth that Felix left on everything.

You jumped when the door opened again, Felix slipping inside with your little pink bag. His brows pinched, "All right, love?"

"Hmm? Yeah - "

"Your feet are nearly blue," he shook his head, handing you your bag before turning for his wardrobe. "Socks or sweats?"

"Huh?"

He turned, holding up a pair of sweatpants and socks, repeating, "Socks or sweats? Figured you're a bit cold in that." The left side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, eyeing you in your sleep shorts and loose teeshirt that had the collar ripped out, showing a hint of cleavage.

"Oh, uh, socks, please."

He tossed you the socks, dropped the sweats, and joined you on the bed as you pulled the oversized garment onto your feet. "C'mere, get close, get comfortable," he chuckled, pushing his blankets down to sit in the sheets, waiting until you turned in the bed to yank the blankets up over both your legs. "Didn't shuffle? My naughty girl," he joked, reaching for the deck of cards and opening it. He offered a much softer smile, eyes darting to your medicine bag, and then focusing on the cards - as if to give you privacy to take your meds.

You did so quickly, insecure about the rattling bottles and the amount of tablets in your cupped hand, but never once had Felix made you feel bad about your needs. After swallowing them, you cleared your throat and turned to face Felix as he divided the cards for the game, nodding to his side table, "Paper's over there, doll, for the score."

"Sure you want me to keep score?" You asked softly, reaching for the pad of paper and spare pen. "Last time we played, you lost so very miserably, I was embarrassed for you. We can save your pride a li'l, not keep score."

"It's only polite to let the pretty lady win."

"Oh, tryin' to butter me up, are you?"

"Is it working?"

"I'll let you know."

Felix chuckled, leaning back to the headboard. Then, he asked softly, "You feelin' all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, all good."

"Sure?"

"Why?"

"Hands are shakin' a bit."

You eyed him for a moment, changing the subject by asking, "How're you not freezing? Seriously, 's like the floors are air conditioned."

"Nah, just not cold."

"Your nipples say otherwise."

"Lookin' at my nipples, are you?" He grinned. "Now you're a very naughty girl, knew you didn't stumble into my room on accident!"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself!" You pushed his shoulder, but he leaned closer. "Felix - "

"You could just stay here," he offered softly.

"You got me for a game - "

"No, I mean, uh..." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head and readjusting so he was supported on one elbow, facing you. "Nah, nevermind, all right, so, back to the game - "

"No, wait, say what you're thinking," you encouraged softly. "Know I hate you doin' that."

"Yeah, you get all anxious," he nodded. "I don't want t'be too forward, all right? But... You know, we sleep together at Oxford. I-In the dorms, you know?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Just thought, maybe you'd wanna stay here? With me? If you want, won't make yah, sweetheart, just thought... You know, in a house this big, you wouldn't get so lost stayin' here... Maybe?"

"Oh, aren't you my hero?"

"I know, I know, I'm just tryna look out for you, my li'l lost love. And, you know, prevent you from finding our secret dungeon," he gasped comically.

"That's not even a joke 'cause I'd believe it in a place like this. Is it a dungeon for torture or sex?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Maybe I'd like to see it. Hm," you considered, "maybe I should stay here, you know - so you can show me around and go get me water when I need it. Save my toes from freezing off, wonderin' 'round here."

He grinned, "Yeah?"

"If it's not too scandalous?"

"'S not like anyone would care... Except me, you know? I'd... I'd like you to stay here. Like havin' you close, sweetheart."

"Well, maybe you could put some clothes on? You're terribly fucking distracting! I'm here to win a card game, and I'll be damned if you win 'cause your abs are... You know, staring right at me, you cheater," you grinned, turning to face him fully with your legs crossed, the space in the sheets open for your cards.

"I think you like me naked," he grinned. "I mean, you stared long enough."

"I was just caught off guard!"

"Oh, I'm sure," his grin turned wicked. "You're still staring, doll."

"Well, it's not as if you're quick to cover yourself!"

"You're not too quick t'look away, either!"

"I was - "

"Caught off guard, yeah, you've said," he chuckled, staring at you with those moony brown eyes that made you feel as if you were the only girl he's ever seen. "Maybe I liked you lookin'."

"Is that so?"

He nodded slightly, "Yeah, not such a bad thing. You're kinda the only one I want lookin' at me like that, anyway."

"You absolute cheesehead!" Your laughter was quiet, trying not to tip Duncan off to your antics.

"You know, they're not just for lookin'," he perked his pierced brow at you. "Feel free to touch whenever you want, too."

"Hm, always knew you were a slut."

He gasped dramatically. "Is that anyway to talk to your host? Especially after giving you refuge from the big, scary, confusing halls?" Your eyes rolled and reached out to pushed his forehead, making him rock back into the pillows and headboard - but he was quick to snatch your wrist as he fell. You were yanked across the slim space, pulled so you were directly resting onto his chest; forearms bracing against his pectorals. He grinned, caressing the back of your head, teasing, "'Ello, love."

"You're a fucking fiend."

"And you're so fucking beautiful."

"I'm already stayin' here, Fi, you don't have to lay it on so thick."

He hummed, "You know... If you were mine, you'd get this treatment all the time. I can't stop - you're just so easy to compliment."

Feeling bold, perhaps from being so close and him being nearly naked, you whispered, "Then maybe you should stop shuffling your feet, grow a pair, and ask me already."

He paused, the moment turning soft as you relax against his body; stretched out the length of him, but still remaining propped on his chest to look down at his sweet face.

"Was a bit afraid to, actually, love."

"Why?"

"Haven't felt like this with anyone," he admitted, "'s just so fuckin' easy with you. Organic, authentic, safe... I was afraid to ruin that, destroy the rapport and friendship we've established. I care about you so much, I just wanted you in my life - no matter what variation that was. Being just my friend, being my girl, just want you with me. Didn't want to jeopardize anything."

"Hm," you considered, nodding slowly, "I get that. Think I felt something similar..."

"So, what do we do?"

"I think we be adults about this," you offered. "If you just want to be friends, we'll stay friends, Fi, but we don't blur lines like we have been. And if you want to give this - us - a try, I think we could. 'Cause you're you, and I'm me, and if things don't work out, we can just go back. Right? Adults do that sorta thing, don't they?"

"Not entirely sure, don't feel like an adult most days," he breathed, petting his fingertips down your cheek. "But I know I want this, with you. I swear, since you came into my life, I've felt - " He paused, shaking his head with a growing smile, "Free? Elated? Light as air?"

"Mhm, I know the feeling," you repeated.

"We doin' this?"

"That's up to you."

"I think it's up to us, actually - "

"I mean, you've gotta ask, Fi, not just assume."

"If you reject me in my own house, in my own bed, doll, I'm gonna be fucking crushed!"

"Oh, my God, just ask me! You fucking knobhead!" You laughed, leaning your head on his chest. His other arm moved behind his head to keep it propped up, looking at you with so much adoration, it knotted your stomach. The hand that had been in your hair drifted down to keep a secure hold on your waist; fingers scratching in soothing motions.

"Wanna be my girl?"

"Hmm, I think you could phrase it better."

He grinned brightly, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh, that's a little too formal. Maybe try - "

"Oh, c'mere, you," he growled, swiftly using both arms to seize under your arms and literally drag you up his body. "C'mon, baby," he whispered, lips ghosting yours, "be my baby."

"Fuck, no, that's way too cheesy!"

"I thought you liked me cheesy?" He gaped, your hand petting his cheek now; shoulders straining to keep you upright, over him.

"Correction, I love you cheesy," you whispered, lowering your head to press a quick kiss to his lips. He hummed in relief, but you pulled back to promise, "I'd love to be your girl, Fi. Only took you the whole bloody school year, didn't it?"

"Hey, good things to those who wait, right?"

"Don't quote Professor Mercy at me when we're in bed with barely anything on, Jesus fucking Christ," you grumbled, unable to restrain your grin when he pulled you in for another kiss - but this time, stealing the breath right out of your lungs.

Maybe getting lost in Saltburn was more beneficial than you originally thought, and maybe Professor Mercy and ages of philosophy was right because this felt like the absolute best thing, and you'd wait a hundred lifetimes if it meant having Felix in your arms - like he was now, kissing you like it was his lifeline.

How extraordinarily warm, you felt, to be lost in this world, in this extraordinary home, and found, by Felix fucking Catton.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

#felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix catton x fem! reader #felix catton x you #felix catton x y/n #felix catton imagine #felix catton fanfic #felix catton fanfiction #felix catton fluff #felix catton saltburn #saltburn felix catton #saltburn felix #saltburn #saltburn 2023 #saltburn movie #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn imagine #fix it felix #felix catton request

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cheesesoda · 2 months

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calling you out based on your favorite triplet!

it’s ya girl back at it again with the call out posts

cw: mentions of mental health issues, sexual trauma, and EDs

nick: if you’re a nick girl/boy/person, i get the feeling you’re the oldest. you sometimes tend to feel sorry for yourself and then you feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself and it becomes a vicious cycle. you probably have either dealt with body image issues or an eating disorder (idk every nick person i’ve met has dealt with that). you’re probably pretty insecure and you constantly compare yourself to all your friends and it’s tearing you apart. you have a hard time accepting compliments because you simply don’t believe them. i think there’s a lot you don’t talk about but then you blame others for your secrecy and feel bad for yourself, as if they just don’t understand. maybe try letting people in and let them have a shot at trying to understand you. you’re not an enigma.

songs you remind me of:

prom queen by beach bunny

not strong enough by boygenius

idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish

sippy cup by melanie martinez

orange juice by melanie martinez

tv by billie eilish

matt: if you’re a matt girl/boy/person, you’re probably the quietest one of the group. you possibly grew up without many friends and you often feel left out or unseen. you were the quiet kid and never really talked. you’re very nurturing and you try to take care of all your friends because you want them to know you see them. you’ve most likely dealt with mental health issues (specifically anxiety and/or depression). you tend to overthink a lot and you probably have a lot more to say than you actually say. you were probably the one who walked on the grass, the one who was the photographer but never in the photo, and the one who sat alone at lunch. as a kid, you went unnoticed but now you’re not. as a result, you end up purposely excluding yourself from your current friend group(s) because it’s what you’re used to and then you end up isolating yourself but you don’t realize that you’re doing it to yourself. i hope you’ll see that people do notice you and they do care about you. you’re not invisible.

songs that remind me of you:

the archer by taylor swift

chosen last by sara keys

letter to my 13 year old self by laufey

nobody by mitski

afraid by the neighbourhood

everything i wanted by billie eilish

chris: if you’re a chris girl/boy/person, i think you grew up too quickly. you probably had to start looking out for yourself at way too young of an age and now you have a hard time accepting nurturing and loving treatment. i get the feeling that you were sexualized from a young age too and you probably have some sexual trauma. as a result, you act hypersexual because it’s what you’ve been made to believe you’re supposed to be. people don’t take you seriously, probably because you are the funny one or the pretty one but you’re actually very observant and analytical. you notice things most people don’t. you’ve often been the butt of the joke in the friend group so now you make fun of everyone else before they can make fun of you. you might come off as mean but i think you’re just scared of being vulnerable. you definitely have commitment issues which probably stems from your childhood trauma (including but not limited to family issues). you end up getting yourself into dangerous or unhealthy or self destructive situations because it’s what you’re used to and you think it’s what people expect from you. you don’t have to follow your self fulfilled prophecy. you don’t have to be what others tell you that you are.

songs that remind me of you:

goddess by laufey

labyrinth by taylor swift

safeword by tv girl

don’t miss me by claire rosinkranz

brand new city by mitski

first love/late spring by mitski

#cheesesodaspeaks #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets

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luciddownloading · 2 months

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Astrology Observations: Virgo Edition 🍎

📓Virgo Suns, Virgo Moons and Virgo Risings are all like the different components of a restaurant (and maby Virgo people seem to have history in the service industry so it's fitting)

Virgo Sun is like the customer. But not just any customer. That customer that has a gluten-free diet and has to specify what they can or can't have on their burger and who will not hesitate to send something back if it's not right. Low-vibrational Virgo Suns definitely have that "I'd like to speak to your manager" energy. But, at best, they are just very discerning and specific and clear-headed. There's always something in their life that they are very particular about. It could be work or their health/body or just the way they live their lives. But, if they're unhappy with themselves, it could also spill out in petty ways, too.

Virgo Moons are the servers. These people like to please and they usually do so by striving for some version of perfection. But, like a stressed server, it can feel like they're always doing something wrong. Be aware of how you voice your concerns with them because they are VERY sensitive to criticism (and, yes, they can sometimes dish it out better than they can take it). If they get your metaphorical order wrong, pointing it out harshly can hit them extremely hard. This can be a trigger from childhood where they felt like their efforts were never enough. But, the truth is, they can do an exceptional amount of "right" and just hone in on the one "wrong" they committed. They are very efficient and bright and need to give themselves more credit.

Virgo Rising would be the manager of the restaurant. These people keep everything running smoothly, even if it kills them. The most orderly of the three, they tend to have a strict schedule and high level of productivity. Also, like a manager, a lot of people rely on them and turn to them for help or clarity. But, beneath a composed exterior, the Virgo Rising is dealing with a lot of worry and anxiety. Much of it has to do with this belief that few people around them can do things as expertly as they can. In some situations, they can secretly (or openly) think, "I'm surrounded by idiots!" This is especially true if they actually are a manager or boss of some kind, which many of them are. Trusting in others' abilities more and learning to delegate effectively will lessen much of their stress and inner tension

📓 Mars in Virgo people gain the most energy from very typical Virgo things: cleaning, exercising, working, reading or writing. Most people with this Mars sign do at least one of these activities very consistently, to the point where their life is centered around it. With the other tasks, they can go through spells of procrastination or lower motivation. But, they are super-productive when they're "in the zone" (Britney actually has this Mars sign. See what I did there? 😅)

📓 Look, do NOT argue with someone with Mercury in Virgo unless you have your facts, details, screenshots, receipts, and W-2's together or else you will lose. Especially if their Mercury is in aspect to Mars. Virgo Mercuries are observant, articulate, smart, quick-thinking and can verbally wreck you if needed (to varying degrees of savagery, depending on the rest of their chart)

📓 Virgo the Virgin? Who said that? Lol but people should obviously know that "virgin", in this context, is more metaphorical. As in being whole unto oneself or having a pure heart. People with Virgo placements can actually be more sex-positive than most and a lot of them are super-comfortable in their bodies

📓 Virgo Suns will let you know that they are a Virgo. For whatever reason. Even some of the ones who know little to nothing about astrology do it. "Of course, I have high standards! I'm a Virgo." "I just can't bite my tongue. I'm a Virgo." "Yes, I want lasagna for dinner because I'm a Virgo." Lol but seriously. Y'all can be very loud about it

📓 For a Venus sign that's supposedly in it's "fall", Venus in Virgo is one of the most praised Venus placements in terms of beauty. A lot of famous people with this placement are widely seen as ridiculously attractive: Charlize Theron, Matt Bomer, Gabrielle Union, Alexander Skarsgard, just to name a few. But, Virgo Venuses tend to either not see the beauty others see or objectively see it but humbly not care too much about it

Something else interesting I have noticed is that Virgo Venuses who get dramatic plastic surgery get ripped to absolute SHREDS by others. Kim K, Kylie Jenner and Matt Rife have gotten a lot of that online. It's like when a Virgo Venus maintains their natural look (or glow-up via natural means), they are seen as physically perfect. But, when they alter their face significantly, a lot of people find it unattractive/unappealing and tear them down for it

📓 Virgo Rising people are very chameleon-like, similar to Pisces Rising but in an intentional way. Pisces Risings shape-shift because they unconsciously absorb the energies of their environment. Virgo Risings deliberately observe their environment and then make adjustments. Therefore, their style, mannerisms, or self-expression will match the expectations of the given situation they're in.

The only thing is I do think they can subconsciously adapt others' dialect or way of speaking if they're around them enough, as Virgo is ruled by Mercury (communication and language). And they may not realize they're doing it

📓 Virgo tends to be a very funny sign with an amazing wit. People with Virgo placements (especially Mercury in this sign) are really good at wordplay, irony, sarcasm, sharp one-liners and telling funny stories. They can either be very interested in comedy (it may be their favorite genre) or come across as unofficial comedians, as the comic timing is just immaculate

📓 Virgo Moons can be incredibly reliable people, to the point where it really makes others feel safe. If they say they're going to do something, they do it. And if they can't, it's for a very good reason. Their word is extremely important to them. The ones with a lot of Air in their chart may flake occasionally but they'll feel super-guilty about it

#astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology notes #virgo #virgo sun #virgo moon #virgo rising #virgo placements #mercury in virgo #venus in virgo #mars in virgo #virgo stellium

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 29 days

Note

😴😴😴 (to find later) AITA for putting sleeping pills in my boyfriend's drinks without him knowing?

I know this sounds absolutely awful, but please bear with me.

Basically, me (27 m) and my boyfriend (26 m) have been living together for around five years, meaning we usually also sleep together. Or at least we try, since my BF suffers from terrible insomnia and reoccurring nightmares so bad sometimes he wakes up into a full on anxiety attack. He does go to therapy and has prescribed sleeping pills, but he hates taking them because he's always afraid that when he does fall asleep he's just going to have nightmares, (which also just makes him avoid sleeping in general even not including his insomnia).

Usually I try to help him by staying up with him, watching his favorite show while cozied up on the couch under a bunch of blankets and with a hot coco, or we do something else that he likes and helps him relax. I really don't mind, I love him and I love spending time with him. However, it used to be that he would fall asleep at around 3-4 AM, but as time went on he started staying up longer and longer, until at a certain point I literally had to start leaving for work in the morning while he still hadn't gotten any sleep.

This was an issue for two reasons: 1. Obviously, without me there he felt even less comfortable and had an even harder time falling asleep, sometimes staying up for even 48 hours (or maybe more, I'm not sure) just to wait for me to come back home so I could help him unwind again. 2. He actually started lying to me about sleeping while I wasn't home, so that I would go to sleep normally and let him stay awake because "he wasn't tired" even though I could clearly tell he was.

That's when I started getting seriously concerned and questioning him about how much he actually sleeps, especially since I could see it was affecting him more and more both mentally and physically. He was avoidant about the topic but I pleaded with him to talk to his therapist about it, to try and find anything else to help him. Apparently his therapist just told him to keep using his sleeping pills to help with the insomnia, and if they're not working she'll look into prescribing him stronger ones. Yet despite that he still insists on not taking them and just going to bed normally even though it's clearly not working.

To clarify: as far as I'm aware, he has no negative side-effects from these sleeping pills, he's never complained about feeling any pain or feeling worse after taking them or anything like that. Literally he only doesn't want to take them because he's just that afraid of going to sleep.

That's why whenever we stay up nowadays, I always add a small dose to his cup of coco, which thankfully has a strong enough taste to cover the pills (I've tried a small bit myself and couldn't tell a difference). Since I started doing that, he's been regularly falling asleep before 2AM and even though the nightmares still sometimes wake him up or make him feel a bit tired in the morning, overall he's been doing much better.

Still, I do feel bad about putting stuff in his drinks without his knowledge even if it's for his own good. I really wonder if I should stop, but I'm really scared that if I do, he'll start spiralling again. I want to help him and be there for him but I've already tried talking about it and it never worked. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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cupid-styles · 7 months

Text

silk (grumpy!h)

in which harry is grumpy with everyone except y/n, and he realizes he's never been so enamored with someone in his life.

word count: 5.9k

content warnings: smut!!

author's notes: last part of grumpy h! thank you sm for all the love on this series, I love these two<3 lmk if you'd like to see any blurbs or one-shots for them!!!

part one | part two

masterlist | talk to me

From: H🌷

My friends want to meet you. Would you be willing to come out with us tonight?

Y/N reads over Harry's most recent text for the fourth time in 10 minutes. If she's being honest, the resounding answer is no, she has no desire to go out with Harry and his friends. But she also knows that they've been spending a lot of time together lately and he's been skipping out on hangouts and evenings out, so it only makes sense that his friends want to meet the girl he's constantly ditching them for.

She sighs, thumbs hovering over the keyboard, and types out an answer she wouldn't give to anyone else.

sure.. when and where?

It's only a minute or so before Harry replies. She shuts her laptop, knowing that the attention streak she has on her outline for literature theory is out the window, especially with the prospect of meeting Harry's friends in the near future.

I'll come get you and we can go to the bar together at 9:30, if that works for you. I know this is probably overwhelming for you so please don't stress, sweetheart. They're going to love you.

Her heart skips a beat. Sweetheart. That's a new development since that evening a few weeks ago, when she disclosed the story of how she lost her virginity. Since then, it seems like boundaries had carefully been crossed, but neither one of them minded. Pet names fell easily from Harry's lips. When they were together, they were almost always touching, whether it be warm cuddles on the couch or holding hands on the walk out of the English department.

Y/N doesn't know what they are — she knows that Harry has some record of dating and sleeping around, and it doesn't seem like that's what they're doing, but she can't help but fear that that's what it is. She always manages to shove those anxieties down when they're together so they don't accidentally come out in an embarrassing stream of consciousness.

okay, that works, she eventually types back, i'll try not to worry too much.. what should i wear?

Y/N has to smush her face in her pillows to avoid squealing at his answer.

Anything you would normally wear is perfect. You'll look beautiful no matter what.

. . .

Harry will never admit it out loud, but he's so excited for Y/N to finally meet his friends.

Niall, Mitch, and Pauli have been on Harry's back about constantly being out of the house and not hanging out with them. They're all quite needy, really, but they're his best friends and housemates, so he doesn't fault their curiosity. Especially because they've noticed his happier-than-usual demeanor, which says a lot, considering he usually walks around with a permanent scowl on his face.

So when he invites Y/N to come out with them tonight, he's fully expecting her to say no and he's shocked when she doesn't. He can practically feel her nerves through their text thread but he's over the moon that's pushing past her anxiety for his stupid friends. For him.

When he arrives at her place, she's overanalyzing every aspect of her outfit. It makes him smile, the way she cares so much, but he takes her concerns as seriously as he can.

"Are you sure this is good enough, H?" she asks, walking back over to the floor length mirror. She's wearing a pair of light wash mom jeans and a lacey white tank top, her makeup subtle with smudgy brown eyeliner and pink highlights.

"Baby," Harry murmurs, strolling up behind her and pressing a hand to her hip, "You look absolutely gorgeous. There's nothing to stress about."

She flushes instantly and squeezes her thighs at his touch. She spins to face him, a pout on her lips.

"I just wanna make a good impression. I don't want your friends to think you're hanging out with some—"

"Whatever you're about to call yourself, it's not true." Harry cuts her off, squeezing her hip. "Now c'mon, Niall gets testy whenever someone's late."

"Fine." Y/N grumbles, grabbing her bag and cardigan. She follows Harry out of her apartment, both of them stopping to bid Ginger a quick goodbye before locking the door and walking out to his car.

"Do you mind if I come back with you tonight?" Harry asks, intertwining their fingers together on the short trek to his sedan. "Feel like I barely saw you this week."

Y/N smiles, looking up at him as they walk. "You saw me yesterday in class and after at grading, silly."

"Yeah, but that was professional time. Couldn't hold you or anything."

She giggles as they approach his car, getting in on the passenger's side and buckling herself in. Harry does the same and starts the vehicle, reaching over to place a hand over her thigh as he pulls out of the parking spot.

"Yeah, you can sleepover tonight, H."

"Whoa, who said anything about staying over, darling? Think you're getting a bit presumptuous—"

Y/N rolls her eyes and cuts him off with a light swat to the chest, "You've stayed over tons!"

He laughs, his eyes crinkling the way that always makes Y/N's heart feel like it's about to burst.

"Just like teasing you, pretty baby."

. . .

Harry's friends are actually quite nice.

They have a clear connection, easy-going and kind, that makes it easy for Y/N to sink into without giving too much weight to her worries. When her and Harry walk in, the blonde one immediately waves them over with a huge grin and a half-full glass of Guinness in his hand.

"H! You're late!"

Harry rolls his eyes and grumbles out some insult, his palm flat against the small of Y/N's back. She wants to hide behind his towering figure to avoid being the center of attention, but he gently pushes her towards the tabletop to introduce her.

"Heathens... this is Y/N. Y/N, these are my housemates, Mitch, Niall, and Pauli," Harry announces, giving her side a small, comforting squeeze. "Be nice to her or I will put hair removal in all of your shampoos. Especially yours, Mitch."

The long-haired one — Mitch, Y/N presumes — instantly puts his hands up in defense. "Why would I be anything but nice? Niall here is the one that's five beers in."

"Shut up, I'm nothing but sweet when I'm drunk!" Niall exclaims, his voice booming over the soundtrack of other patron's conversations and some random rock station. "Hi Y/N, it's nice to meet you. Tell me, how did you manage to sweeten grumpy Harry here? He's usually so—"

"Niall," The last one, Pauli, Y/N thinks, warns, a protective arch in his eyebrow as he cuts his chatty friend off. "We're so happy you decided to join us, Y/N. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Alright, you guys have caused enough chaos," Harry steers the conversation away, tugging Y/N closer to his side, "We're gonna go get drinks."

Harry knows Y/N doesn't drink very often and he doubts she'll get anything tonight, but he can feel her clamping up from the attention.

"Y'okay?" he asks, leaning down slightly to catch the shell of her ear. She shivers at the low tone of his voice, biting her lip as she looks up at him.

"Mhm. They're nice, H."

He smiles and moves his arm up to wrap around her shoulders. "I know they're a bit much. I appreciate you being here, though. Promise we won't stay too long."

"It's okay," Y/N giggles at his overprotectiveness, though her heart swoons as she tucks herself into his chest. "They're special to you and that's important."

Harry's grin only widens, showcasing his dimples and the cute eye wrinkles Y/N loves.

"You're special to me. That's why I wanted them to meet you."

Y/N doesn't know how to reply without squealing so she just blushes and buries her head into his shoulder, a warm chuckle vibrating from the depths of his chest.

. . .

"Yeah, and that's how Harry ended up having to sneak Niall out of the emergency room at 3 in the morning."

Despite Niall's already red face, his cheeks turn a deep crimson at the end of Pauli's story. Harry and his friends erupt in a series of laughs as Y/N looks up at the curly haired brunette curled around her form, his arm slung casually around her shoulders. The PDA initially made her heart thumb noisily in her chest, but she couldn't help herself as she snuggled further into his side, his scent and warmth radiating instant comfort.

"Yeah, yeah, you lot think you're so funny," Niall grumbles before lifting his pint to his mouth.

"That's 'cos we are, Ni," Harry smirks, "Anyway... it's been fun, but I think we're gonna head out."

Y/N's heart squeezes at him saying we're, like they're some sort of collective. She has to roll her lips into her mouth to stop a smile from curling onto her face.

"Ah, you guys aren't gonna come back to the house?" Pauli asks with a pout.

"Let them live," Mitch interjects, nudging Pauli's ribs, "H is happy for the first time, like, ever."

"Alright!" Harry exclaims, clapping his hands together as Y/N's lips part in surprise. Was he seriously that noticeably happy? Because of... no, it couldn't be because of her. That would be silly. "Y/N, you about ready?"

She nods and slides out of the booth behind Harry. "It was really nice to meet you all," she says with a polite smile, hugging her bag closer to her side as Harry heads up to the bar to settle his tab. "Thanks for having me."

"Oh, of course!" Niall grins. "Just make sure Harry wraps it up tonight, we all know he's been around—"

"Niall, you're cut off!" Mitch is quick to snatch the beer glass out of Niall's hand just as Y/N's face warms, insecurities suddenly brewing deep in her body. She knew of Harry's reputation, but if his friends assumed they were sleeping together already... was there something wrong with her?

Thankfully, she doesn't have to stumble over an awkward response because Harry's already reappeared, not even bothering to question why Niall's whining.

"'Kay, see you lot later. Get home safe."

He slings an arm around Y/N's shoulders and she gives a half-hearted wave as he guides them out of the crowded bar. She feels a sense of relief when the cool air hits her skin, the weather finally feeling fully autumnal as October nudges in. Harry notices her involuntary shiver and holds her closer, giving her shoulders a squeeze as they approach his car.

"You did so good tonight," he murmurs, glancing down at her proudly. "How do you feel?"

"Good." she lies, a tight smile on her face. "I can drive, you had a few drinks, hm?"

Harry nods and digs his keys out of the pocket of his jeans, handing them to Y/N. She clears her throat as she unlocks the vehicle, both of them climbing in wordlessly.

"Was it too much socialization? I can go home if you want to be by yourself."

Y/N's heart squeezes at his words as she turns the key in the ignition. It's silly to her that a month ago, she dreaded being alone with Harry and now, she can't even find it in her to be upset with him.

"No, I want you to come back with me."

Y/N is rarely assertive in her words, let alone her plans with Harry. Even when she does miss him and wants to see him, she'll send him a picture of Ginger being cute, and he'll reply with some iteration of "can I come over?"

So she swallows harshly after blurting the words out, thankfully missing the way Harry's eyes widen slightly. And he can tell that something's up — she's grasping the steering wheel tightly and won't stop chewing on her bottom lip, a nervous habit of hers that was easy to pick up on — and he mentally curses at his friends, hoping that they didn't say something idiotic to make her overthink anything.

He doesn't say anything until she's pulling into a spot outside of her apartment. As she's about to turn the car off, his hand grasps at her thigh, her eyes flying to his face. It's dark, so he can't see much of her facial expression, but he can tell by the slight crinkle in her eyebrow that she's nervous.

"What's wrong, sweet girl?" Harry asks gently, circling his thumb over her knee. "Did something happen at the bar? Did they say something?"

She shakes her head quickly, "No, of course not. They were really nice, H, I had a good time. Can we just go upstairs?"

"What's the rush?" he presses, trying to catch her low gaze. "Are you tired? Wanna go to bed?"

"Not tired," she mutters and lets out a frustrated sigh. The quiet hum of Harry's car fills the silence, but it's not enough to tear his attention away from the anxious girl in front of him. "I just... why haven't you tried to sleep with me?"

Embarrassment floods her entire body as Harry's eyebrows shoot up. Immediately, she feels ridiculous and wants to take it back.

"That was really dumb of me. I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I didn't even drink, I just—"

"Y/N," Harry says lowly, giving her knee a squeeze, "What did they say?"

"Nothing! Niall just said... well, when you were paying, he told me to make sure you, y'know, 'wrap it up' and I realized that, like, you haven't even tried to kiss me! And you call me these sweet names and we cuddle and hang out all the time and I don't know, I thought maybe you liked me but I understand I could be wrong and misinterpreting everything."

She's exasperated and Harry thinks it's adorable, but he hates that he could ever question his intentions with her. He notices that her hands are trembling and he sighs, shaking his head.

"First of all, Niall is an absolute idiot so never take anything he says seriously," he replies, taking her hands into his. He stuffs them underneath the soft fabric of his cardigan, trying to warm them up. "I... I know I have some sort of reputation on campus and you've seen me do some things I'm not proud of, but that was never the case with you. I wanted to take my time with you and go slow, especially because of your history. I like you, Y/N. So much. You didn't misinterpret anything."

She swallows nervously and if he didn't have her hands held captive in his fuzzy yellow sweater, she'd be fidgeting anxiously, picking at the her nails. Her face is far too warm for her liking, her heart jumping for joy in her chest as she replays his words over and over again. I like you. So much.

"I like you, too," she finally peeps out, clearing her throat, "I'm sorry I assumed differently. I didn't mean to be dramatic."

"Not dramatic, love. I understand why you got nervous," he murmurs, smiling gently. "Can I kiss you, then? If you like me back?"

It's overwhelming for Y/N — she feels like she's about to kiss her second grade crush, but only because of the flocks of butterflies invading her stomach, shaky hands, and an inability to croak out an answer, instead just nodding her head. Harry chuckles at that, and she's grateful for the way he's able to easily read her.

It's not the most romantic kiss Harry's ever had, but that's only because they're parked outside of Y/N's house in his car. If it weren't for the way he has to lean over the middle console to catch her lips in a lock, he would swear it's absolutely perfect.

Simultaneously, Y/N realizes that kissing Harry feels like coming home.

She's only ever felt this way when she's, quite literally, returned to her childhood home after hellish months away at college as an undergrad. The way the interior of the space always smelled like balsam and freshly baked cookies, warm lights twinkling on the Christmas tree, her mom hugging her tightly and murmuring in her ear, "it's okay, you're home now."

She tastes twinges of beer as their lips meld together, his musky vanilla cologne invading her senses and making her melt. It's all so good, like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, drinking hot chocolate during a snowstorm, carving pumpkins while you eat those Halloween sugar cookies from childhood.

If she didn't have to break away to breathe, she thinks she could kiss Harry for an eternity.

Harry is clearly more experienced in the kissing department than she is, but he doesn't tease her for needing a break. He just smiles softly as she quietly pants with spit swollen lips, her eyes darting between his own raspberry mouth and the inviting jade of his eyes.

"You're good at that." Y/N breathes, and he chuckles, letting out his own deep breath.

"Do you wanna go inside, sweetheart?" Harry asks gently, his voice quiet, "I really wanna keep kissing you, but maybe not in my car."

"Yes, please."

He laughs louder at that, giving her thigh one more squeeze as she pulls the car key from the ignition. It's nearing midnight so it's far chillier now, goosebumps immediately forming over Y/N's arms. It's a race to her front door from there, her eagerly unlocking it and kicking her shoes off, Harry following closely behind.

Ginger is tucked into herself, snoozing steadily in the little cat bed Harry bought her a few weeks back. He'd immediately admitted that it was an impulsive purchase, claiming that he simply couldn't resist.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Y/N asks, hanging her bag and keys on the hooks in her entryway.

"'M okay," Harry mumbles, plopping down on the couch. He sheds his upper body of his cardigan and Y/N swallows as it leaves him in a plain white tee-shirt, contrasting the inky swirls on his arms beautifully. "Relax, baby. Come sit with me."

Y/N nods and walks over to him submissively, her socks padding across the plushy expanse of her carpet.

"Do you wanna sit on my lap?" he asks softly, reaching out to intertwine their fingers together. "You can say no. We're going at your speed."

"No, I do." she says quickly, not wanting him to suspect an inkling of hesitance. She'll admit, she's nervous, but it's not because she's uncomfortable. If anything, Harry is still so intimidating in this regard, and she feels like a fumbling mess in comparison.

He's gentle in his movements, guiding her body down to his and helping her straddle his waist. It's not inherently sexual, despite the fact that her thighs split readily, their cores pressed together and separated by layers of clothing.

He wraps an arm around her waist to keep her steady, her hands automatically finding his broad shoulders.

"Can we keep kissing?" Y/N peeps out. A lopsided grin appears on Harry's face, making her own warm.

"Course, honey. Keep kissing me."

She's anxious about the prospect of her leaning in to kiss him, worried that she's doing something wrong, but the nerves instantly melt away the second their lips reconnect. This kiss is less hesitant, a slow stream of confidence beginning to radiate from Y/N's actions. She fists his tee-shirt in her hands as she presses her chest against his, Harry's tongue gently probing her mouth. She opens readily, happy to allow him.

Harry's surprised by her sudden eagerness but welcomes it. He can feel his cock starting to plump beneath them, but he hopes she doesn't notice it as she squeezes her thighs around his waist. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable, wanting nothing more to prioritize her own wants tonight.

"Baby," Harry breathes, breaking their kiss and nudging his nose against hers, "Baby, hold on a sec, wanna talk to you."

She hums and blinks her eyes open. "'bout what?" she asks, licking over her swollen lips.

"Do you know what you want to do tonight? If anything?"

Y/N swallows. She definitely hadn't thought that far. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about sex with Harry at all, but she was so over the moon with knowing that he liked her that she couldn't think past it.

He squeezes her hip, bringing her back down and out of her thoughts. Swallowing, she parts her lips nervously before licking over them.

"I'm not really sure," she admits, adjusting out of awkwardness but accidentally brushing against Harry's cock, "I... I know I want you. Closer."

"Okay, that's a good start," he murmurs. He tries not to let his facade crack, but he's in shambles over how sweet she's being. If it were up to him, he'd devour her whole, but he has restraint — even if she's unintentionally testing them. "How close do you want to be, honey?"

"More than this."

Harry chuckles and nods, reaching up to run his hand through his hair. "You're killing me, y'know that?"

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to do anything."

"That's the problem."

His smirk makes her blush and she stares down at her hands, wringing them together in their laps. Gently, he tucks his hand underneath her chin, bringing her eyes back up to his.

"You're doing perfectly, sweetheart. I just want to make sure that we're doing everything you want. I want this to be a good experience for you."

She calms slightly at that and Harry feels her body relax. "It already is a good experience, H, it's you."

"You're too cute," he mumbles with a shake of his head, tilting his head to press featherlight kisses along her jaw, "Too fuckin' cute."

He lowers down to her neck, entirely too intoxicated by the scent of her vanilla perfume and the feel of her soft skin against his lips. He could spend the entire night planting kisses across every inch of her body, he thinks, but he knows they'd both be too needy to let him finish that ask.

"Inside," Y/N suddenly breathes out, a gasp falling from pillowy lips as he nips as a sensitive spot, "Want you inside, please."

"Fingers?" Harry guesses, suckling gently to create the faintest of marks.

"No, no. You."

Harry's eyes snap open at her admittance, blinking owlishly as he processes her request. Did she... was she asking—

"Please, Harry, I— I know you want to take it slow but it's been months and I want it, I'm sure of it, please—"

He hushes her with a firm kiss to the lips. Her trembling hands reach up to fist at his messy curls and he can feel her getting progressively more desperate, pink-hued smoke clouding her typically shy demeanor.

"It's okay, baby, I got you," he murmurs against her mouth, squeezing at her hip. "I'll take care of you, alright? If that's what you really want."

"I do, H, please."

Harry can't take a second more of her pleading and he thinks if he denied her again, she'd be down at her knees groveling. (He has to quickly push that image out of his brain, knowing it'll only send him further into a tizzy.) She mumbles out consent as he plucks at the button of her jeans, nudging her to sit up so he can pull the denim down her legs. He tries not to groan at the sight of a tiniest wet patch seeping through the fabric of her light blue underwear but fails miserably, pressing his forehead to her clavicle in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Y/N asks, pausing their haphazard movements to take in his facial expression.

"You're gonna kill me," he repeats his sentiment from earlier, "You're just fucking adorable and hot without even realizing it and it's taking everything in me not to completely ruin you."

Harry glances up at her to see her rounded eyes and plushy lips, gasps parting from the muted pink hue of her mouth.

"What if I want you to ruin me?"

He shakes his head and tightens his squeeze on her hips. He lays her back down against the couch and spreads her legs, kneeling to thumb at the dampened patch between her thighs.

"You need to shut up. You don't know what you're asking for, Y/N."

"Tell me then," she eggs him on, squirming as he begins to draw small circles into her covered clit, "You've always taken care of me, why would this be any different?"

"Because you're different," he mutters tightly, his large hands finding the expanse of her ribs and pushing her shirt upwards to reveal her lacy bralette, "I don't want to treat you like any other person I've been with. You don't deserve that."

She whimpers when he bucks up against her lower half, his jean-covered bulge nudging at the place she needs him most.

"Show me what I deserve, then. Please."

"That," Harry says, undoing his pants and tossing them off to the side, "I can absolutely do."

It's a mess of kisses and touching from then, eager to feel one another without any additional clothing in the way. She's naturally submissive, Harry finds, but he's not surprised at that in the slightest. He'd assumed that from the first day they met, though he'd never imagined that he would be the one nipping at her skin, licking and sucking her nipples, and pressing kisses down her stomach and over her mound, taking his time to inhale her sweet scent.

Y/N's all but gagging for it now but he refuses to go any further without stretching her out, knowing that it's been five years since she's last slept with someone. She's wet — dripping, really, from her pulsating hole down to her ass, and he wants to press his tongue flat against her lips, suckling every last bit up, but he's a man on a mission. Plus, he knows he'll cum on the spot the second he wiggles his tongue inside, and that's not part of tonight's plan.

Instead, he's able to fit three fingers inside of her, but it admittedly takes a lengthy amount of pumping, scissoring, and pressing up against the spongy spot inside of her that makes her moan especially loud. She's squeezing his fingers so tightly, her hole contracting every time he uses his thumb and swipe over her clit.

"You— please, Harry, I'm ready, I can't— can't take anymore."

He looks up to see the prettiest, most desperate looking angel with baby hairs matted to her forehead, her chest warm and splotchy. Beads of sweat are dripping down her thighs and her mascara has smudged below her lower lash line, making her look beyond fucked out.

"Okay," Harry nods, withdrawing his fingers carefully, "Okay, baby. Lemme just grab a condom."

He probably looks ridiculous as he scurries over to his pants to grab his wallet, digging to grab the condom he'd stuffed in there the day after he decided he really liked Y/N. She doesn't say anything as he peels his briefs down, revealing his painfully hard cock slapping up against his lower stomach, pre-cum beading at the slit.

He rolls the condom on and shuffles between her thighs, pumping himself a few times to relieve just some of the pressure. Their eyes are glued to one another's in an intense, lusty stare-off.

"You're sure, lovie?" Harry asks, massaging her inner thighs carefully, "You can change your mind at any time. Even if I put it in and it hurts, you can tell me."

"I trust you," she replies softly, her throat already sore from nearly a half an hour of teasing. "I know it's gonna hurt a little... but you'll get me through it, right?"

His heart breaks a bit at her need for reassurance, nodding his head quickly. He adores this sweet girl beneath him, nothing meaning more to him than her implicit trust in his care.

"Of course I will. Just keep communicating with me, okay?"

She nods and he shuffles up to her core, stroking his cock twice more before stretching his body over her. He presses a kiss to her forehead, then down to her nose, and finally to her lips.

"I'm gonna start putting it in."

It's... a stretch, a big one at that. Y/N initially winces at the pain and Harry's head snaps up, halting his movements, but she shakes her head quickly, encouraging him to continue. He slows down, slowly moving centimeter by centimeter until her breathing starts to even out. When he finally bottoms out, she feels like she's absolutely stuffed to the brim, but in the best way possible.

"Are you alright, honey?" Harry asks quietly, leaning up to brush a few hairs out of her eyes.

"Yes," Y/N murmurs, swallowing harshly, "I... I feel like you've always been meant to be here, H."

His eyes well up slightly, not only because it's the sweetest thing she could've possibly said in this moment, but because he feels that way, too. He's never felt such a connection with someone before on both a physical and emotional level and he knows right then and there, Y/N is the person that's meant to be his.

"You're incredible," he says, beginning slow, shallow thrusts, "You're everything I could've ever wanted, Y/N. This is... you're perfect."

"Oh," Y/N breathes when Harry's hips snap up against hers, the tip of his cock pressing against the spongey spot deep inside of her, "That's... you're so deep."

He groans at her widened eyes, shutting his own to prevent himself from bursting early just from her cute reactions. She feels better than he ever could have imagined the many times he fucked his fist, thinking of how warm and sweet she'd be beneath him.

"Faster, please," she mewls, her jaw falling slack at his continued assault on her g-spot.

"Yeah? Need me to go faster, honey?"

She nods vehemently and he smiles gently, beginning to quicken his pace. She loves the way he's hovering over her, closer than they've ever been before, invading all of her senses. She hooks her ankles around his waist and he groans at the small sign of initiative.

"Can I make you cum on my cock, sweetheart?" Harry asks through a tight jaw, feeling his balls start to tighten as they bump up against her ass.

"P-please," she nods, her hair a mess from Harry thrusting her into the mess of throw pillows on her couch. She's made herself finish tons of times before, but only with her own fingers and the occasional smutty book as inspiration. With Harry in her life, she'll admit that she's been hornier than ever before, always finding a sodden mess in her underwear after hanging out together. (It even happens when they spend time grading in Donnolly's office when she watches his jaw flex, gum between his teeth. The thought is enough to make her shudder.)

But with Harry finally stroking at the spots inside of her that had been neglected for years, it doesn't take much to get close to her peak. She's never felt so full before, and it's making her pussy squeeze over him in steady pulses, eliciting a grunt deep from Harry's chest.

"Can you rub your little clit for me?" Harry asks, leaning back on his heels to watch himself pump in and out of her hole. "Jus' need to see the way you touch yourself, baby... know you do, hm? My girl has a naughty side, doesn't she?"

Y/N nods her head, trailing her fingertips down the length of her body and to the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs. She moans loudly as she applies a bit of pressure, pinching at it. Harry's eyes are immediately glued to her fingertips, pausing his movements momentarily to spit, landing squarely on her clit.

"Oh god," she moans, partially from shock at his boldness. She rubs his saliva in, circling the nub it small, tight circles.

"That's my girl," Harry repeats, his hands finding the back of her thighs to spread her legs a bit further apart, "So good, baby, so fuckin' good for me."

"H-harry, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum—"

He grunts as he feels her hole contracting around his cock, gushes of arousal seeping out between them.

"There you go," Harry encourages, slamming into her, watching her eyes squeeze shut and shudders coil through her body. Her fingers tremble around her clit as she orgasms violently around him, squeezing so tightly that he nearly slips out.

The image of her coming below him after imagining it for so long is enough to send him into his own orgasm. He spurts warm and hot ropes into the condom, filling it up so much that as the intensity begins to wear off, he worries that some of it will seep out from the rubber confides. He pulls out just to the tip to make sure, his cock still twitching in aftershocks.

"S-slow, please," Y/N stutters and he nods, shushing her softly.

"I know baby, I'm sorry, just gotta make sure we're all... cleaned up down here."

He'd filled the condom nearly to the brim, but thankfully, it's not enough to ooze out. He takes gentle fingertips to the insides of her thighs, where her legs meet her core, softly running them up and down as he fully withdraws.

"I'll be right back, honey. Just stay here, 'kay?"

She mumbles out some affirmative answer and he chuckles, stumbling to her bathroom to toss the condom and clean himself up. He wets a washcloth and walks back out to the living room, Y/N's body still strewn across the length of her couch. He kneels down to face her swollen pussy, swallowing at the sight, ignoring the urge to continue playing with her. He knows she's exhausted based on her silence and wouldn't be able to take a second longer of stimulation. Instead, he gingerly cleans her up with the warm cloth.

"Do you feel okay?" Harry asks softly as he rises back up to his feet, grabbing his briefs and slipping them back on, "Was all of that alright?"

With tired eyes, Y/N smiles gently, nodding once. "It was perfect, Harry."

. . .

From: H🌷

Running late to class this morning, they made your latte with almond milk instead of oat

To: H🌷

h!! u didn't have to have them remake it, that would've been fine!

From: H🌷

You never get almond milk and you would've never even told me if you didn't like it. I can afford to be a few minutes late if it means you're happy.

Also, may or may not have bought Ginger another toy at the grocery store on my way home from yours last night.

Sitting in her usual seat at the front of the lecture hall, Y/N has to roll her lips into her mouth to avoid a massive grin from breaking out onto her face. She busies herself with scribbling notes in her planner as she waits for Donnolly to begin class, her nose stuck in her calendar as Harry enters the room with just a minute to spare.

She's admiring her new collection of sparkly gel pens when he plops down next to her, pushing her iced latte towards her.

"Morning." he greets with a grin, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair.

"H," Y/N whines with a blush, biting her lip at the small display of affection.

"Shush, I know."

She giggles as she takes a sip of her coffee, the familiar taste of vanilla and espresso coating her tongue.

"Thank you, by the way. I appreciate that you do this for me."

"'course, baby," Harry smiles, leaning back in his chair with his cup of black coffee. "Missed you."

"You saw me last night, silly."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't let me sleep over so you could do homework." he teases lightly, tucking his black sunglasses into the collar of his tee-shirt.

"Mhmm, but since you let me get that done, you can stay over tonight."

"Thank god."

She laughs and shakes her head at his dramatics as Donnolly claps her hands together, her signature announcement that class was beginning. Y/N glances over to the curly haired brunette next to her, who playfully widens his eyes at her. Again, she has to bite her lip to prevent herself from grinning even more.

She's not sure when her fellow TA, a grumpy, mean boy who only wears black became the best thing in her life, but she couldn't be happier that it happened.

895 notes · View notes

biniminisblog · 4 months

Text

under the mistletoe | hwang hyunjin one shot

pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

synopsis: the three times hyunjin wanted to confess, and the one time you did.

genre: friends to lovers, slight angst, fluff

word count: 3.2k

a/n: MERRY CHRISTMAS ‼️🎄🎄 as promised i managed to finish this just in time yay!! hope you guys like it and consider reblogging/sharing your thoughts. have a great day everyone!

one.

this is it. hyunjin was going to confess. after days of rehearsing with jeongin— who played you surprisingly well, it was almost weird— he was finally going to tell you how he feels.

despite the practice, hyunjin could feel his palms starting to sweat, he was becoming fidgety all of a sudden. it was the third of december, just a few weeks before christmas, and he had asked you to meet up at his place so you both could continue your tradition of watching cheesy romance movies. he had everything set up, from blankets and pillows to your favourite food and drinks. it was all perfect and romantic, so he can’t back out now!

regardless of his anxiety-inducing thoughts, he waits for you, and as his watch reaches seven pm, he hears his doorbell ring. what greets him was a bright grin plastered on your face. you were wearing your favourite sweater— which was technically his but you stole it from him— with your hair tied into a half ponytail. he didn’t think you could get even more beautiful. however, time and time again you seem to prove him wrong.

hyunjin didn’t realise he was staring intently until you were waving a hand at his face to somehow snap him from his thoughts. he blinks twice before clearing his throat, reluctantly looking away from you and towards the food instead.

“you okay there, hyun?” that damn nickname will be the death of him, seriously. he only nodded his head, giving you a smile which seems to reassure you enough. once the both of you are seated on the couch, you immediately grab one of the cookies on top of the coffee table, taking a bite of it and humming in satisfaction.

“this is so good, hyun! did you make it?” you turn to look at him, your voice muffled by the food in your mouth and he finds you adorable with your cheeks puffed out.

“yeah, felix helped me— oh, and i made sure it wasn’t too sweet since i know you can’t handle too much.”

“you remembered?” your eyes seem to sparkle at his thoughtful action, and if all it takes for you to look at him like that was a simple gesture, then he’ll basically do anything for you. god, he’s so whipped he can't even deny it anymore.

“of course i remember, you’re my friend.” or maybe something more. hopefully, if he doesn’t chicken out.

“that’s so sweet of you! you’re like— the perfect man. i could literally kiss you right now.” you gush, but then widen your eyes when you realise what you just said. you glance at hyunjin, only to see his face turn pink, suddenly becoming shy at your claim. although he was happy you thought of him like that, he senses that you were slightly uncomfortable, so he decides to change the tone.

“just for that? you should raise your standards yn, or else you’ll end up with a sleazy man.” hyunjin teases, earning a cute pout from you. he feels relief wash over him when he sees you no longer felt uneasy, as well as a flutter in his heart at your expression.

“oh hush. don’t insult my standards, you’re basically insulting minho.”

oh. hyunjin’s smile drops. he tries to regain his composure, scratching his neck to distract himself, and grabbing one of the sandwiches he made for you. still, it was hard to grasp the information he just discovered, which was basically a slap to his face.

“so you like… minho hyung?” you shrug, not being able to look him in the eye as you finish your cookie. you can’t even look at him directly, do you like him that much?

“i mean he’s definitely a great guy, so i guess i do like him a little.” you admit, tracing circles on the pillow beside you, and hyunjin can feel his heart clench in pain.

the atmosphere changed after your confession. you and hyunjin still exchanged conversation normally, but it was like there was a wall between you now, contrasting to the fact that you were only inches apart from each other. oh well, so much for confessing.

two.

“why is he staring at me like that?” minho raises an eyebrow, eyeing hyunjin who has been glaring daggers at him for the past two minutes.

jeongin shrugs and shakes his head at his hyung’s childishness. “hyunjin hyung’s just being an idiot again.”

he doesn’t argue with that because he was being an idiot, getting jealous over something as mundane as your ideal type. it’s not like you guys are dating or anything, so it shouldn’t be a problem. that still doesn’t stop the green monster from coming out as he watches minho look effortlessly attractive under the horrid lighting of their shared apartment.

“well can’t he be an idiot somewhere else? i’m trying to decorate here.” hyunjin finally stops glaring at him, and instead opts to go back to his sketchpad, looking over at all the portraits he sketched of you.

sighing internally, he wonders if he’ll ever be able to confess to you, even if he was given the chance. hyunjin sulks in his seat, prompting jeongin to sigh in frustration. he decides to be a good friend today and nudges his shoulder, causing hyunjin to look up, revealing his pout and furrowed eyebrows.

“what do you want.” he deadpans. jeongin closes hyunjin’s sketchpad and gives him a look of annoyance. “listen, if you really liked yn then minho hyung being her ideal type shouldn’t stop you from telling her.”

minho takes a glance at hyunjin and points a finger to his chest. “i’m her ideal type? no wonder why you’re sulking.” he snorts out before going back to placing lights on their christmas tree.

although minho doesn’t comment much on it, hyunjin knows that information is going to spread in the groupchat later on, and he grimaces as he imagines all the teasing from them.

jeongin seems to realise this as well because he’s quick to cheer him up. “don’t listen to him, hyung! i mean just because minho hyung is her ideal type doesn’t mean you aren’t, right?”

now that he thinks about it, jeongin might be right. suddenly, a smile starts to grow on hyunjin’s face.

“then there’s still a chance she might like me back?”

“definitely! don’t lose hope hyung.” ever the supportive younger brother, jeongin gives hyunjin a pat on the shoulder while minho only scrunches his nose in response.

“you should ask her out to the party chan’s going to hold on the 25th.” he suggests and hyunjin lights up at that idea. feeling a rush of adrenaline, he abruptly stands up, causing jeongin to let out a squeak and minho to flinch in shock.

“i need to find yn.”

“wha— you’re going to ask her out now!? hyunjin, wait—!” and he’s gone. jeongin hears the door click shut and he goes over to minho, not even bothering to catch up with the lovesick boy anymore.

“didn’t he mention that yn’s on a family trip right now so she can’t contact him?” jeongin nods in confirmation as he helps place christmas balls on the tree, which causes minho to facepalm at their friend’s stupidity.

“i guess love really makes you dumber.”

three.

so the second time didn’t work out, but that was totally hyunjin’s fault. he forgot you would be away for a few days, being too excited to finally confess the feelings he’d been harbouring for you for a long time now.

however, it’s already the 20th of december, and you’re finally back. he’s sure not not to mess this up. he decided not to plan anything, opting to just say it.

as he arrived at your place, there was no denying the rush of nerves flowing within him. he had thought about just bolting out of there, and he almost did, but he knew that if it wasn’t now, then it was never.

hyunjin lets out a huff and rings your doorbell, trying to relax by focusing on the peephole of your door. this proves to be ineffective because the moment the door opened, he immediately made eye cantact with your beaming face.

“hyun! i didn’t know you were coming, is there something you need?” you step aside to let him in and he cautiously walks past you to sit on your sofa. trying to calm down his heart, he sees you moving over to sit next to him.

should he just say it now?

“nothing, really. i just wanted to see you.” he settles on saying that instead. you’re probably surprised to see him since he should be busy during this time of the year, so he’s playing it safe for now. however, once he takes a peek to see your reaction, it gives him a boost of confidence when he notices the pretty shade of pink adorning your cheeks.

“i was only gone for a few days.” you mumble out, but you don’t hide the smile that forms on your lips.

“few says too many.” hyunjin jokes. he’s feeling a little more bold now, so he slowly scoots a little closer to you until it feels as if you are almost only a hair away.

you don’t seem to mind the proximity, in fact, it’s like you moved even closer. or maybe hyunjin was being delusional, either way it still makes him giddy.

“well since you’re here i have something to tell you.”

“really? what is it?” this is probably the perfect time to mention that he has something to say too. “oh actually i just remembered i have to tell you something too.”

“then do you want to go first?” you tilt your head cutely while waiting for his answer and hyunjin only shakes his head no, gesturing for you to go ahead.

“do you remember how i said minho was my ideal type?” hyunjin nods slowly, not liking the way this was going.

“well i actually asked him out just yesterday.” you gauge his expression, watching as hyunjin starts to process your words. his eyes widen, mouth hanging agape, and you can’t tell if it’s from shock or disappointment.

“th-that’s—uhm,” hyunjin can’t even finish what he was trying to say, and he can feel his heart literally being ripped from his chest. is this god’s way of telling him that you would never be his?

“so yeah…” you can feel the awkward tension rise so you decide to shift the conversation. “what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

hyunjin suddenly remembers why he’s here, and he looks up to find you gazing at him expectantly with a warm smile on your face. if it was before all this, he would have melted at the sight, but now all he feels is the tight clench around his chest. it’s almost suffocating, he can’t even find it in himself to speak. the only thing he can do is leave, and so he does.

“hyunjin— wait, where are you going?”

“i’m sorry i have to go.” he manages to utter that out before he’s outside, closing the door shut and not looking back, afraid he might breakdown if he even glances at your face.

that’s it. he’ll never try to confess again.

four.

“hyung come on~” jeongin whines as he tries to drag hyunjin out of his bed by pulling his forearm.

“no! i don’t want to see the love of my life and the person who betrayed me being all lovey dovey.” he wiggles out of jeongin’s grasp and proceeds to pull his duvet cover over his head.

“ugh you’re so dramatic— you’ve been cooped up in your room for five days now! are you really going to let some girl ruin christmas for you?”

this gets hyunjin to push the covers off of him and sit up straight, shooting daggers at the younger boy.

“yn is not just some girl, she’s my best friend who i’ve been secretly in love with for the better part of my life. she’s someone i cherish and care for the most, and i’m not going to let you reduce her as just some girl.” hyunjin lets out a huff, making the long strands of blond hair covering his face move.

jeongin raises his hands up in surrender. a silent air filled the room before it was broken by minho’s slow, sarcastic clap.

“why don’t you say that again but to yn this time?” minho steps aside to let you enter the room and hyunjin lets out an audible gasp. he suddenly feels self conscious as you move closer to his bed.

“wh-what are you guys doing here? shouldn’t you be at chan’s party?” he focuses his attention on minho only to avoid facing you, his heart beating a mile a minute.

“we would’ve been if you weren’t a sulking idiot.” minho walks over to grab jeongin and heads towards the door.

“i made yn come over since i know you’d basically rot in your room until new year. now make out!” he shuts the door behind but not before you hear jeongin follow up with a ‘you mean make up?’, leaving only you and hyunjin inside.

minho’s obvious teasing left both of you feeling flustered, but decided not to comment on it.

“hyunjin.” you start, and for the first time since you arrived, he meets your eyes, which almost seemed red. were you crying? did he make you cry? or was it minho? either way he has to know why.

“were you crying? did someone make you cry? tell me who so i can beat them—”

a loud ‘umph’ escapes hyunjin’s mouth as you unexpectedly lunge towards him with a hug. he was so surprised he couldn’t even process what was happening in the moment. he felt himself go limp in your grasp, inhaling your perfume which had always intoxicated him.

is this what heaven feels like? hyunjin’s pretty sure it is.

when you pulled away—in that moment hyunjin suddenly felt a cold shiver run down his spine— he came face to face with your glossy eyes.

“you supid idiot, you’re the one who made me cry— and i’m in love with you too!” you confess.

and just like that, hyunjin’s whole world was turned upside down.

“wha—but i thought you and minho…?” you shake your head in response.

“i thought you didn’t like me back, but minho told me you did. i didn’t believe him though so he told me to tell you i asked him out to see your reaction. i didn’t think you’d walk out on me so i thought you hated me…” you mumble out the last words, looking down at your hands as you fiddle with them. now that you’ve reflected back on your actions, it was totally a stupid idea and you should’ve just told him how you felt then.

hyunjin was shocked at this revelation. so this was all minho’s idea!? he’s honestly not sure if he should thank him or cuss him out, although he feels it's safe to do the former if he doesn’t want tissues in his mouth again.

“i could never hate you, yn. not even if you told me you murdered someone.” this manages to make you giggle, to which it makes hyunjin feel the butterflies roaming around his stomach, just like before.

“i actually tried confessing, three times to be more specific.” he admits, causing you to shift your attention to him as a dramatic gasp leaves your lips.

“so we’re both idiots.” although it was meant to be an insult, hyunjin finds it endearing to see you look so distraught about it.

he reaches out to tuck a stray hair behind your ear amd swiftly kiss you on the cheek. you were stunned for a second, almost in a trance, but luckily you snap out of it and retaliate with a kiss of your own. you both end up giggling, feeling drunk on each other’s kisses as you take turns planting soft pecks on the other’s face.

hyunjin can’t believe he’s deprived humself of this pure bliss for years now, he’s definitely never letting you go—

“hey, are you guys going to come out there or what? we’re still going to chan’s party, you know.”

like glass shattering, minho breaks the moment hyunjin has been waiting for his whole life as he hears his older friend’s annoying voice from outside the room. you to pull away from each other, albeit reluctantly.

you still have lovesick grins plastered on, maintaining eye contact as you stand up from the bed and interlock your fingers with hyunjin.

“i don’t think i’ve ever been this happy since that one time we spontaneously went on a trip to japan.” you say while playing with hyunjin’s fingers.

“i don’t think i’ve ever been this happy ever.”

“oh stop, you’re lying.” you whine but end up covering your face with hyunjin’s shirt and he takes this opportunity to slide his arms around you, slowly swaying back and forth.

“believe what you want to believe, love.” the nickname slips out naturally and you look up, a pink tint adorning your cheeks. you stand on your tippy toes to plant another kiss on hyunjin’s nose this time.

“let’s go? i feel like minho’s going to slam the door open and kick us out himself any moment now.” you agree with his statement and go back to locking fingers before heading out towards hyunjin’s bedroom door.

however as you open it, you don’t expect to see evergreen leaves hanging atop both of your heads.

jeongin dangles the plant mischievously. “you guys going to kiss or what?”

you face hyunjin, only to find that he has already been looking at you this whole time, plump pink lips puckered playfully with his eyes closed. you laugh, caressing his cheek before leaning in to leave a soft, long kiss on his lips.

“ok i think that’s enough.” minho manages to pull you away from each other, making hyunjin narrow his eyes at him.

“no i don’t think so, i’ve waited too long for this!” hyunjin whines, proceeding to latch himself to your side. you only shake your head, smile tugging your lips at your boyfriend’s silliness. god, you could get used to this.

“and you have all the time in the world now that you’re together, now let’s go!”

“jeongin’s got a point. so how about you let me have yn tonight? i am her type after all, isn’t that right, yn?”

minho’s loud cackle resonates the room when hyunjin hurriedly tries to cover your eyes to prevent you from looking at minho.

jeongin, who’s had enough if his older hyung’s shenanigans, leaves the apartment.

it took about thirty minutes before you actually head to the party, but not without another shared secret kiss between hyunjin and you, his girlfriend, this time without a mistletoe.

“merry christmas, hyunjin.” you whisper between your kisses.

“merry christmas, yn.” despite the cold weather, everything felt so warm. you were warm, and he never wants to let you go.

“i love you.”

after three failed attempts, he can now say for sure that the confession was a success.

308 notes · View notes

soap-ify · 5 months

Text

nsfw , minors dni.

☆ : lonely is a man without love — kyle 'gaz' garrick x reader

kyle's lonely life experiences a change when he moves into a new place — ♡

. . 11.1k words.

tags and cw : neighbors to lovers, angst but LOTS of comfort, hurt/comfort, canon typical violence (briefly mentioned), hush if you see any military inaccuracies, reader is struggling and kyle too, reader is somewhat shy, mentions and descriptions of anxiety and depression, reader is afab and therefore the smut contains afab anatomy but other than that gender neutral terms have been used, smut, p in v, missionary position, fingering, cum eating, body worship i think, LOTS of kisses this man is insane about you, LOTS of consent check-ins because he is amazing, some laughing during sex, use of alcohol, kyle smokes, kissing in the rain.

notes : this is very self-indulgent and probably horribly written i am sorry . . went overboard with the word limit too i didn't think it would be long. this is for the gaz likers, eat your dinner up!

Kyle sometimes felt like he was doomed to be alone forever. So much love floated around him yet not a single bit was directed at him.

It’s a good thing. He would reassure himself. Will help me focus on my work. Though that wouldn’t explain the gnawing feeling in his heart, the loneliness that just spread within him like a virus while he would curl up in his bed, arms wrapped around himself while his fingers would caress his shoulders, pretending that it was someone else.

It wasn’t that he was bad. He was far from it. Handsome with a nice husky voice and a fairly athletic build. Not only that, he had a great personality too — loyal and determined. Still not fucking enough though, it seemed. People did like him, just not in the way his heart desired to be liked. At some points, it was as if no one ever took him seriously, making him feel like the odd one out. The leftover.

Kyle is a sweetheart — heart full of love that was aching to be given to someone, aching to be understood and embraced for once.

A few days ago, Kyle had rented a new apartment on impulse. Not that he regretted it though, it was clearly better than the current apartment he was living in — more spacious and closer to the base.

He was moving in today, cardboard boxes scattered on the floor as he stood in front of the door of his apartment, fiddling with his keys. He was about to open the door when he felt someone tap on his shoulder, causing him to abruptly turn around to face the culprit, senses on alert.

“Sorry!” A warm voice squeaked out, instantly catching Kyle’s attention. It was you, a friendly yet surprised smile adorning your lips as you angled your head to look at him. “Didn’t mean to surprise you.” You laughed sheepishly, fingers fidgeting with the fabric of your shirt as you gestured to the door beside his door. “I’m your neighbor.”

Kyle would relax a bit, her dark eyes flickering towards the door you had gestured at before landing back at you, a soft smile slowly gracing his lips. “Nah, s’fine. Don’t be sorry.” He chuckled warmly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He was used to being hyper aware all the time due to his work, so that sudden touch on his shoulder had nearly made him have a heart-attack. “...And I’m Kyle.” He added after a while.

Silence would soon take over as you two looked at one another, thinking over what to say next. “Well…” You would trail off, not wanting to disturb this new neighbor of yours any longer. Your eyes would glance down at those plump lips for him for a second before you snapped out of your thoughts, offering him a smile. “I’ll see you around then… Don’t be afraid to ask for anything at all.” You mumbled quickly, feeling like a damn bother already, turning around on your feet before jogging back into your apartment, gently shutting the door behind you.

Kyle would stare at the spot where you stood with a dazed look in his eyes, his lips parted slightly as he let out a shaky breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding until you went away. Fuck, that was awkward, he internally thought, yet unable to shake off this warm feeling that was spreading through his heart. Typical Kyle, always being left shocked and giddy after anyone would show interest in him. You are a weirdo, Garrick.

Now he had another mini goal in his life — to get to know you. You were his neighbor after all so it was only polite for him to at least know you, right? And with that, he resumed moving the packed boxes into his apartment, blood rushing to his cheeks.

The following weeks were very much uneventful — simple greetings exchanged whenever you passed by Kyle, little waves here and there alongside the sweet smiles you would give him that would just melt his heart. Yet still, there wasn’t any real interaction. He didn’t know anything about you, and at this point, he felt like he had read too much into the time he first met you a few weeks ago.

It wasn’t as if he himself was making any effort. He was too caught up in work, coming home late at nights, barely having any time for himself or others.

Tonight was different though. He had come early. Well, not really — it was 11:00 PM, but still earlier than usual though he was just as tired as every time. As he made his way towards the door of his apartment, he felt a familiar figure next to him. You. His head was quick to turn to the side, brown eyes instantly meeting yours as you looked at him as well, the time suddenly slowing down. There you were outside your apartment’s door, in your work clothes and a bit of disheveled appearance, highlighting just how exhausted you were after work. Just like him.

For a moment, you both just stared at each other tiredly before he managed to gather up some courage, his hand holding the door knob. “Drinks?” He asked, internally cringing at how hoarse his voice sounded due to his throat randomly going dry at the sight of you. Though you were quick to nod, causing a familiar warmth to spread in his chest.

That’s how you found yourself in Kyle’s apartment, your eyes taking in the details. It was quite warm and cozy, not overly decorated but having little things like books, certificates and pictures around that made the apartment his.

You settled down on the couch, sinking into the softness while your fingers absent-mindedly played with the sleeve of your shirt, eyes watching Kyle as he came towards you with two bottles of bourbon. “Sorry that I look like a disaster.” You mumbled quietly, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Nah. You don’t. And even if ya do, I do too. That'd mean we're matching.” He grinned and sat beside you, passing you one bottle of bourbon before opening up his own, taking a swig of it, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He would lean his head back, and you couldn’t help but look at the way the bulge in his throat moved as he gulped down the alcohol.

Kyle looked pretty. He always looked good-looking in your eyes ever since you had first met him, but right now, something made him look even better. Maybe it was the dim yellow light from the lamp on a nearby stand that fell onto his face, creating a soft glow around the face of his shape from the angle you were seated on. His eyes were closed while the bourbon relaxed his nerves, his plump lips parted slightly. You couldn’t help but admire his lashes, the mild stubble that adorned his jaw and the mustache that neatly rested above his upper lips — and that small scar on his cheek, your fingers aching to caress the rough surface. You silently took a sip from your own bourbon bottle, your eyes traveling down to his neck, the sight of skin making your insides feel weird, in a good way. You would soon find yourself in awe of his arms, the way his shirt was rolled up to rest on his elbows, and fuck, those hands. Your throat went dry as you mindlessly stared at the veins on his hand, and those long fingers of his. Get your head out of the gutter, you reminded yourself.

You weren’t usually like this. Yes, you had a fair share of people you have had a crush upon, but they were never a person that you sat with and drank a bourbon with, someone who also happened to be your neighbor. This all felt too weird, too real. It was maybe also the fact that you weren't so used to all this — this level of calmness and almost sickening domesticity. You don't even remember the last time you had let someone see you being vulnerable, open around them or anything. You were mostly alone.

Failing to rip your eyes away from Kyle, you silently continued to stare at him while drinking the bourbon until his eyes fluttered open and met yours, catching you staring at him. Shit. You went still, feeling your blood rush to your cheeks.

He went still too, his brows raising in curiosity and subtle amusement, his lips twitching a bit — as if contemplating on whether to smile or not. Why am I so awkward?, he internally scolded himself, his fingers tightening around the bottle of bourbon.

A part of him felt proud that you found him attractive. He wanted you to find him attractive. He silently took one last swig of the bourbon before putting the bottle aside, turning over to him. His cheeks felt warm, and he didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or this situation — or both. Sensing your embarrassment, he decided to let this little action of yours slide and change the topic.

“Hey, you wanna hear somethin’ funny?” He asked, his elbow gently nudging your arm. You nodded curiously, fingers tapping against the glass of the bottle.

He would shuffle a bit closer to you, your shoulders brushing against one another. It didn’t feel odd this time, or creepy even — it felt just right. The type of right where the time seemingly slows down and the room grows warmer, the type of right where everything blurs around the person your eyes are focused on — Kyle. The type of right where your breathing gets slower in contentment and tranquility, an odd sense of serenity flowing through your veins, making it impossible for you to not lean into him.

He began talking, his tone not slurred at all but seemingly more confident now, and you couldn’t pinpoint whether it was because of the alcohol or just him warming up to you. He talked about his job, how he was an operator in the Special Forces, not disclosing much more than that because apparently, that information was classified. He subtly talked about some fucked up moments that he had to face, that he found funny even, despite it being somewhat horrific actually.

“There was this one time when I had to rescue a friend of mine. I was in the heli with Nik — he’s a nice man. Anyways, some stuff happened and I slipped off the heli, but hey, I didn’t hit the ground. I was danglin’ by a fuckin' rope, and my cap'n kept tryin’ to talk to me through the earpiece. It was hell, he couldn’t believe it.” Kyle chuckled, voice a bit raspy while his eyes were focused on you, eager to see your reaction.

You would have normally been weirded out by something like that, something that just seemed so dangerous. But the way he had described it, the way he had chuckled even — it made your lips twitch into a bright smile, a soft giggle leaving your lips that soon turned into full blown laughter. “Dangling by a rope?!” You try to mutter in between your laughs, hands clutching your sides as you try to regain your composure. Your reaction made him burst into laughter too, and now you both were just a mess, tearing up. At this point, it didn’t even seem to be about Kyle’s experience anymore. It was a sweet, genuine laugh — evidence of how you had gotten so comfortable with your neighbor, how you had started to feel this odd sense of affection towards him.

Kyle was no better, his heart drumming like crazy against his chest. You are an angel, he internally thought, so enamored by the sound of your laughter. It didn’t matter what you thought of your laughter or how much you tried to keep it quiet, he absolutely loved it. He began feeling that familiar ache in his heart, the emotions that begged to be spilled out, to be directed towards someone, anyone — you. But he was going to hold it in like every time, like all the times he had to keep his emotions bottled up, knowing that they wouldn’t be reciprocated. They never were reciprocated, and it made him into this — a love-starved fool.

The laughter eventually dissolved into muffled giggles and shaky breaths, your hands loosening around your sides while your glassy eyes looked over at Kyle, who was also looking at you. Both of you were panting softly, eyes locked on one another. You could feel your heartbeat picking up its pace, your lips parted slightly while your cheeks were all warm. God, he is gorgeous, you wondered in awe, feeling an oddly fuzzy feeling clouding your brain.

You two were so close, and you could just kiss him. You wanted to. But wouldn’t he find it weird, being kissed by his neighbor? You felt skeptical, but seeing the way his eyes just didn’t seem to move away from yours, you found yourself leaning forward. And he did too. He actually leaned forward!

Closer, and a bit more, and more—

Until his phone rang. Fucking hell. Kyle audibly groaned, looking at you with a collectively embarrassed and apologetic look. You backed away, cheeks burning up while your eyes darted away shyly, nibbling on your bottom lip.

He mumbled something inaudible under his breath, getting up from the couch so he could accept the call, pressing his phone against his ear. “Yes, Cap’n? Yeah… Oh, alright... On Friday? Yeah, okay.” He whispered, soon enough ending the call before turning back to you, clearing his throat sheepishly. “Uh— Sorry. Work call.” He grumbled, brows knitting.

You shook your head, still in a bit of haze after how you almost kissed him. Or maybe you weren’t going to. Maybe you were just overthinking the whole situation, clinging onto some false hope because fuck, your neighbour was gorgeously enticing. You pushed those thoughts away quickly, not willing to fall into another delusion, just like you had with your past crushes. “S’fine, Kyle. Need to go anyway. Too late now.” You mumbled softly, looking over at the watch on your wrist that read 12:45 AM now. You hadn’t realized how much time you had spent with him already. It was as if time seemed to melt away around you, just like the way he seemed to melt your heart.

But there was no time to think about that. You had work tomorrow. It was already too late. Kyle looked over at the clock hung on the wall, a soft sigh leaving his lips before his brown eyes looked back at you. “Thanks for keepin’ me company, mate.” He spoke, internally cringing at calling you ‘mate’ though he didn’t know what else to call you. Love? Sweetie? I will freak her out, he internally thought, you think too much, Garrick.

You made your way towards the front door of his apartment, glancing at him one last time. “Goodnight, Kyle…” You whispered, a soft smile adoring your lips, senses a bit clouded due to the alcohol though you knew that your smile was sincere — full of warmth that you had shown multiple, but managed to seem different when shown to him — more genuine.

When you stepped out into the corridor, your eyes caught a glimpse of his expression, a hint of disappointment and loneliness lingering behind the warm smile he wore on his plump lips. Maybe you were imagining it, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, but you knew that you wanted to be there for him more and more. He was like a painting, placed in the far corner of the museum where no one would see him, but you were the visitor who had coincidentally stumbled upon the isolated area, now in awe of this painting.

It was just one of those days for you today, brows knitted in frustration as you went over the paperwork of your job, not understanding a single word written there. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep you had gotten the past few days, or the boisterous laugh of your fellow colleagues that roared in the workplace, overstimulating your senses. Or maybe it was your annoying boss, slamming loads and loads of papers on your desk and you just silently accepted them because, well, you couldn’t afford angering your boss. Or maybe it was just Kyle who had been stuck in your brain ever since that little experience you had with him a few days ago.

You didn’t have the luxury of having a pleasant lifestyle. It was monotonous more than anything — most days passed with you absolutely drowning in your work, giving you barely any time to take care of yourself. You were horribly burnt out, exhausted with the same old stuff going on. Maybe that’s why you were so drawn to Kyle in the first place. He was new, fresh like the spring breeze, his smile enough to kindle a strange warmth in your chest.

Whatever it was, you knew that you wanted to get to know him better, even though you weren’t the best at making connections — or even maintaining them. The thought made you wince, mind drifting away from the paperwork.

Your phone hadn’t pinged with a new message for a few days. You knew it, they had grown tired of you. Your friends — everyone. It was your fault, right? It was always your fault. Pushing people away, not letting them see past your mask, to see the real you that yearned to be understood, to fit in. If it weren’t for your depressive episodes, you would still have managed to maintain some relationship. But no. You just had to push them away. Now hopelessly sitting on your bed, dark circles adorning your under eyes while you gazed at your silent phone, a familiar emptiness lingering in your heart that just never seemed to go away. Your room was a mess, neither your body nor mind having any energy to get up. You needed help, you needed someone — anyone. But you didn’t want to be a burden, you didn’t—

You were snapped out of your memories at the sound of the glass shattering and some yells, your head snapping up to see that one of your colleagues had managed to break a glass, now getting yelled by the boss. Fucking great. You bitterly groaned silently, eyes looking over at the clock. Just a few more hours, you could do this.

Once the time was up, you were quick to grab your things and scurry out of the office, too exhausted to deal with anyone. 6:30 PM — you had actually managed to leave early today. You followed along your usual path, taking the crowded bus and then having a small walk along the street until you reached the small apartment complex.

About an hour passed and you had properly freshened up with a nice shower, now cladded in one of your pajamas. The fatigue still lingered in your muscles, refusing to go away. You frowned silently, eyes darting over to the balcony door. Putting on some slippers, you walked over to the balcony door and opened it, stepping into the cool, chilly evening air — the sky having mostly darkened up. You breathed in the fresh air, feeling a sense of ease clouding your senses. Though your moment of peace was interrupted by the smell of cigarettes. Wait, what?

Your head turned to the side, catching the sight of your neighbor on his balcony. Fuck, you had forgotten that your balcony was connected with Kyle’s.

Your brows rose in surprise, eyes carefully looking over at him. He looked, well, like a wreck. You felt your heart sink as you looked at him, taking in his appearance. He wore a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, the hood covering his head up, restricting you from the view of his short curly hair. His eyes looked tired, dark circles visible under his eyes, his brows knitted while his eyes were focused on the sky, gaze distant. A lit cigarette was snug in between his fingers, connecting with his lips as he exhaled some smoke. You wondered what happened, what caused him to look so… dejected. Though you resisted from asking him that directly, not wanting to pry into something you clearly didn’t belong in.

“Smoker?” Your voice cut through the silence, causing him to look over at you in surprise.

Kyle hadn’t expected to see you here. There you were, in your balcony, staring at him with concern that was masked behind nonchalance, though he could easily spot it. “Sometimes.” He replied, voice hoarse as his eyes looked away, staring back at the sky. He wanted to talk to you, had missed you so much, but this really wasn’t the best time. He didn’t mean it, but his voice sounded uncharacteristically annoyed.

You winced at his lack of reaction and the subtle show of annoyance, swallowing the strange lump in your throat as you silently stepped forward, leaning against the barrier of your balconies. “What’s wrong?” You finally decided to hit the sore spot, eyeing the change in his expression.

“Nothing.” He replied gruffly.

“Well there’s clearly something wro—”

“It’s none of your business. You don’t wanna hear it, trust me.”

“You won’t know unless you—”

“I told you, it’s nothing!”

“Stop fucking talking over me!” Your voice raised unintentionally alongside his. For a second, you just stared at him with wife eyes, panting softly as he looked back at you with an equally surprised reaction. This was such a stupid thing to argue on, and for a moment, you thought that maybe he was right. Maybe it really wasn’t any of your business. You were just his neighbor, right? Good job, ruining everything once again, you internally scolded yourself, a groan leaving your lips. If only you could control your goddamn temper.

Kyle was stunned, your voice pulling him out of his depressed haze. He huffed, brows knitting in embarrassment as he walked over to the barrier that separated the balconies, getting in front of you. “Fuck, sorry. It’s just…” He hesitated, taking another drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke aside. “I am tired, y’know. Working’ so hard every day and for what? I got no one to be proud of me. Fuck, even my own cap’n doesn’t give me the validation I want…” His voice cracked at the end, nose scrunching as he looked away, as if ashamed by his own vulnerability.

Fuck, you froze, You knew this feeling too well.

“And now look at me… Talkin’ to my neighbor about it. I am supposed to be protecting people, n-not be the fucking weak one.” He sniffled irritably, forcing out an insincere chuckle. Self deprecating thoughts, typical for Kyle. Though you were clearly unaware of it.

Kyle’s mind was a mess right now. Do better, do better, do better. Ever since he had joined the taskforce, he had this itchy feeling in his heart that urged him to prove himself. To make everyone sure that he was worthy enough to deal with the horrors of the world. But no amount of training or missions gave him the satisfaction he desired. There was always someone better than him. Who even was he anymore? He had molded himself so much for others, and now he couldn’t recognise himself.

You had noticed how Kyle had suddenly gone quiet, the connected balconies now surrounded by a thick layer of silence, sparking a familiar sense of anxiety in you. You wanted to say something to him, something you longed to listen to when you were struggling a few years ago. But what could you even say without properly knowing his situation? You knew nothing about what actually even goes on in his job despite the little things he had told you that wouldn’t really be considered classified.

So you simply reached your hand forward, grabbing his free one. You felt him stiffen up for a split second before relaxing again, his eyes moving back to you. You took this time to silently admire his hands, your fingers lacing with his as your thumb rubbed gently circles on his skin. His hand was so fucking pretty, the type you’d want after a manicure. His nails were nicely cut, and his skin was clean and only mildly callused. You were surprised that his hands weren’t so madly roughened up in the way you would normally expect a soldier to have.

“I have a hand care routine.” Kyle blurted out sheepishly, probably having sensed your fascination. You couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, causing his eyes to soften up. Your laugh. It reminded him of how you gave him company alongside drinking some bourbon a few nights ago. It was his favorite night in his damn life already.

“I don’t know what's going on in your head, Kyle. But…” You trailed off, giving his hands a gentle squeeze while your eyes darted away in an almost shy manner. “You can always rely on me. I swear.”

Kyle could have sworn that he heard his heart explode in his chest.

There was no way you weren't an angel. The familiar painful warmth made its appearance into his heart and this time, he didn’t push it away. He was smitten. You, sweet you. His lovely name. Not emphasis on his yet, because well— yeah.

Kyle had started feeling hopeful all over again, blood rushing to his cheeks and lips parting breathlessly. He didn’t know what exactly he was feeling towards you. Maybe a silly crush like many others wherein his feelings were never reciprocated. But he instantly pushed that thought away. He knew that you were different. Unlike others who had made him into this anxious, perfectionist mess — you didn’t put any burdens on him, simply made him feel safe and seen. Safe. He had never felt safe with any person before, maybe with his task force but that was really different from what he felt right now. He didn’t feel unlovable for once, despite the self-loathing thoughts scratching on the back of his mind, making him struggle to think straight.

He simply wanted to fall in your arms and cry. Cry about how it was just too much for him now, the sheer immorality of his work that he had promised himself that he would face. Cry about how no one ever wanted him, how he was always left out. Cry about being the second option. Cry about feeling like a fucking outsider. Cry about never being perfect. Cry about everything.

He would have actually made his way into your arms if it wasn’t for the little barrier in between your balcony and his. And the barrier between you both — the invisible one. You were still just a neighbor, and maybe a friend. He didn’t want to overthink this, to give himself hope like every time.

Once his cigarette had run out, he sighed softly and kept it tucked in between his fingers, his lips forming a soft smile — the one that you were so familiar with. “You’re a special one, lovie.” He said, before pausing, lips twitching a bit. Going all out now with the nicknames.

Your eyes lightened up under the faint, dim light of the balcony, lips forming a sweetly goofy smile. Lovie. That just sounded so… Kyle. You liked it, this new little change in your relationship. You never let go of his hand, your body pressing up against the barrier of the balconies. “C’mon. Wanna hang out again? My apartment this time.” You offered, gently nudging him.

And oh boy, he was embarrassingly quick to agree.

You had put down fluffy pillows in front of the couch, Kyle seated on them alongside you with your backs pressed against the couch. You had bought a bowl of popcorns, which was now settled in between the little distance you two had. The light from your TV illuminated your face, and he couldn’t help but silently stare at you.

“I’m going to put on a rom-com.” You mumbled softly, hands fiddling with the remote of the TV as you scrolled through the lists of movies, until random on a recently added rom-com movie you don't recall ever watching.

Kyle’s eyes drifted over to the TV screen and then back to you, a cheeky grin soon adorning his lips. ”I feel like this is a trap.” He chuckled under his breath, playfully nudging you with his elbow.

“Oh yeah? Why would it be?” You couldn’t help but giggle, eyes squinting.

“Well, I dunno! Didn’t know that lovie here was into rom-coms.”

“You don’t know much about me then, Kyle.”

The banter between you both went on for a few seconds until the opening credit song of the movie started playing, causing you to immediately hush him, focusing fully onto the movie. Kyle went quiet, pulling the hood of his head, finally. Those short curls of his were visible once again.

He was definitely more relaxed than before. He had even sprayed himself with your perfume so the smell of cigarettes goes away. His mind felt a bit clearer too, albeit a weird dull ache still present in his heart. The usual emptiness, the ache for you. He ignored those feelings for now though, trying to properly focus on the movie.

Easier said than done. You were so close to him, warmth basically radiating off you while your eyes were fixed onto the screen, mouth silently chewing onto the popcorns. He sneakily shuffled a bit closer, his shoulder gently brushing with yours. You didn’t flinch away at all, making his heart warm up even more.

He wanted, no, needed to hold you. His arms were aching to embrace you, and as much as the rational part of his mind would have normally stopped him, this time it didn’t. He gently leaned his head a bit close, lips a few inches away from your ears. “Can I hold you…?” He asked, voice soft and a bit raspy.

Your breath hitched at the sudden proximity, your head tilting to the side to face him, only for your noses to almost be pressed together. Warmth bloomed in your chest and you couldn’t help but nod, lips forming a sweet smile. “Yes…” You whispered. You wouldn’t have let anyone else hold you. You trusted him.

Kyle was overjoyed, but he managed to hide it well. His arms, firm with muscles, slowly around you and scooped you towards him until your back was nicely snuggled into his chest, seated between his legs. You could almost feel his heartbeat against your back — rapid and loud with soft thumps. you found yourself relaxing in his arms, leaning more into him as a soft sigh escaped your lips.

You picked the bowl of popcorns and gently placed it back on your lap, resuming to eat it. Kyle took this time to place his chin on the top of your head, happy that you couldn’t see the absolutely goofy grin that adorned his lips, his heart practically jumping up and down in his chest. He had never felt so connected with someone, your warmth seeping into the sheer loneliness that engulfed his heart. He wasn’t alone.

“Crappy guy.” He commented on the love interest of the female lead, some tall and cold man — very much typical in romance movies. You hummed in agreement, your hand grazing him as he put his hand alongside yours into the bowl, picking up some popcorn.

The movie wasn’t even good at this point. Mostly because all of your mind was solely focused on how nice and warm he felt behind you, making you feel so relaxed. You could basically fall asleep on him if you wanted to, but you restrained yourself mentally, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. What even were the boundaries now?

You closed your eyes momentarily, curling up against him after you put the popcorn bowl aside, your cheek pressed against his neck. “Bored?” He asked quietly, his hand rubbing up and down your arm in a gentle manner, earning a silent nod from you. He sighed softly and nuzzled his nose into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“About earlier…” You trailed off, brows knitting in confusion. What were you doing? It was as if you wanted to comfort him as much as you could, your heart speaking instead of your mind. It was like an itch, one that wouldn’t go away unless you talked to him. You shifted in his arms so you could face him, comfortable in between his legs, not caring about the movie anymore. “I…” You sheepishly cleared your throat, hands hesitantly twitching before grasping onto his shoulders. “I… I was struggling real bad a few years ago. Still am, but… Just wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone…” You nervously looked away, chewing on your bottom lip.

You had never opened up to anyone before. It was basically written all over your face.

Kyle’s brows furrowed momentarily, going quiet after your words. It explained a lot actually, the subtle dark circles under your eyes and the absent-minded fidgeting you always did. Though it wasn’t really noticeable, he noticed. Perks of having a job that required high attention.

“Lovie… You don’t gotta say anythin’ you don’t wanna.” He spoke after a while, his arms tightening around you as he pulled you in just a bit more closer, the tip of his nose almost touching yours. “But thank you… Really. And I am also here for you, always” His voice softened up even more at the end, so quiet and warm.

You scoffed softly, but nodded, your hands shyly caressing up his shoulders, fingers trailing up his neck, face before eventually reaching his scalp. Your fingers soothingly ran through his short, nicely cut hair, a soft sigh escaping your lips. You had been waiting for this. And the way Kyle’s eyes closed relaxed encouraged you even more to gently scratch his scalp.

Kyle leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttered shut and lips parted slightly, relishing your touch. It was achingly comforting, and he could feel the noises in his head becoming inaudible, his heart rate relaxing and his nerves calming down.

You, you, you, you.

That’s what rang in his head, blood rushing to his cheeks and ears as he felt himself get all giddy over his neighbor — sweet neighbor.

The movie was long forgotten in the background, the only trace of it being the muffled sounds and the light from the screen that fell onto you both. Kyle slowly opened his eyes again, his hands reaching up to gently cup your face, fingertips pressing against the back of your ears. His eyes looked all over your face, from the fond look in your eyes to your lips. Lips he wanted to kiss so bad.

“Can I kiss you?”

His own words surprised him, but he didn’t back away. Not now, not ever. He gently pressed his forehead against yours, his breathing syncing with yours as he felt your hands slide down to gently hold onto his shoulders again, your lips forming an adorable smile.

“Yes… Okay.”

He slowly closed the distance between you both, pressing his lips against yours. His lips felt soft, moving with your lips delicatel — a chaste kiss. The kiss didn’t seem inexperienced by any means. He knew what he was doing, holding your face so tenderly in his hands as if you were the most precious thing ever, breath hitching subtly as he parted from the kiss, looking at you with half-open eyes. Holy shit, he actually kissed you. If he were to die this very moment, he would die a happy man.

“Am I going too fast, lovie…?” He asked, his hands slowly easing their way down to your waist, helping you up to sit on his lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist one again, a blissful smile on his lips.

You shook your head lazily, arms wrapping around his neck as you comfortably sat on his lap, blood rushing to your cheeks while your heart thumped fast in your chest. You actually kissed him. “I liked it… You can do more, Kyle.”

God, you were perfect, he thought to himself, brain buzzing with glee while his hands gently caressed your lower back, fingers applying some pressure to your hip bone, earning a relaxed sigh from you. “I told ya I felt like this was going to a trap.” He chuckled in amusement under his breath before pressing his lips against yours once more.

Your mind felt fuzzy as you responded back to his kiss, soft smooching sounds lingering in the air. It felt nice. Too nice. Your brain wanted to somehow disconnect from the feeling of the kiss. Memories of you isolating yourself from everyone made their way into your mind once again like a fly that never went away, scratching at your head. Fuck. What if you pushed him away too? This felt impossibly good, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.

Still, you didn’t pull away from the kiss. You couldn’t. You still wanted this.

You felt his tongue gently caressing your bottom lip, poking it as if requesting entrance. You could almost feel him unable to hold in his grin in the middle of the kiss when you complied, gently parting your lips. He coaxed you closer and closer, the tip of his tongue gently caressing yours. A muffled whimper left your lips as you tightened your fingers around his shoulders, brows furrowing as you tried to keep your mind clear. This time, you properly felt his light stubble and mustache graze against your soft skin, heightening up your senses.

Once the kiss ended, Kyle pressed some more quick pecks on your cheek before burying his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling your skin. You were breathless, clinging onto him tight, not wanting this moment to end at all as you leaned into him, fingernails gently scratching against his nape. “Bloody gorgeous you are…” He croaked out against your neck, gently pressing soft kisses on your skin.

Warmth pooled in your stomach, your hips twitching unconsciously. He was so sickeningly sweet —you felt your heart growing more and more fond of him. Your body shuddered once he began lightly nipping on your skin with his teeth, testing the water and bloody hell, it was working. You didn’t even know you were sensitive in that area until now. “K-Kyle…” His name left your lips in the form of a shaky giggle, a bashful smile playing on your lips as you gently tugged on his hair with his fingers, earning a groan from him.

“Fucking hell, lovie…” He huffed, playfully yet lightly biting on your neck, eliciting a surprised squeak from you.

“Kyle!”

“Hush.” He peppered sweet licks on the place he had given you a bite. He pulled his head back slightly, eyes meeting yours once again.

He could feel the subtle tension in your muscles, the mild hesitation that seemed too familiar to him. Maybe you were scared of this softness just as much as he craved it. It wasn’t a bad kind of scared though, he knew that much.

“I have really bad luck with… all this.” He blurted out after a few seconds of silence, brown eyes fixed on yours, filled with vulnerability that he wasn’t reluctant on showing you anymore. He trusted you anyways. “I dunno, lovie. I have been goin’ on with my life thinking that I was just… not lovable at all. Got sick of being so alone all the time, of being left out a-and—” His voice cracked, his lips quickly pursing shut with a subtle hint of embarrassment. Not now, Garrick.

He cleared his throat, licking his bottom lip that suddenly felt dry. “You are the only one who makes me forget about the emptiness in my heart. I mean it. You are the only one who doesn’t make me feel like a fool, lovie… Ever since I met you, ever since we drank a few nights ago, every greeting of yours every morning— Fuck, makes me so warm.”

This was the real Kyle in front of you. You could finally see him beneath the flesh and bones. His words made your heart ache. Him? Unlovable? He was surrounded by the wrong people then because nothing in him could ever make him unlovable.

“It’s okay. I am also… not very good at all this.” You mumbled, unable to suppress a soft giggle from escaping your lips. Idiots, you both were. “And… don’t think that you are unlovable.”

Kyle nodded and pressed one more quick kiss on your lips, his heart hammering against his chest fast at your words, his hands fiddled with the hem of your pajama shirt, his fingers aching to lift it up. “Can I…?” He asked, his eyes focused on you so intently, as if trying to memorize your very soul.

With a nod from you, he gently eased your shirt off you, sliding it up your head before putting it on the couch behind you. His breath hitched once his eyes landed on your bare torso, lips parted in awe. Pretty. Prettiest.

You looked away in embarrassment, realizing that you weren’t wearing a bra. You didn’t know that someone would be there in the balcony when you had gone out for fresh air — that someone being Kyle. You wanted to say something, but your thoughts were cut off when you felt both of his hands gently caressing your breasts, sizing them up while his fingers dug in your soft flesh, causing your breath to hitch and body to tense up.

“Relax, lovie… Tell me if you don’t want it.” He pressed a kiss on your cheek, smiling warmly at you. Kisses, kisses, kisses — he had given you so many kisses already, made you feel so special. And now this. All the earlier stress from work today, all the bad memories just seemed to wash away as his hands lovingly fondled your breasts.

You took a few deep breaths, feeling your muscles relax. “Okay… Okay.” You nodded, nibbling on your bottom lip as your eyes watched him, his thumbs gently brushing against your nipples that had begun to harden up under the sweet attention that he was giving to your chest. A little squeak left your lips when his thumb pressed against your right nipple gently, your sensitivity causing you to accidentally buck your hips forward.

“Woah there…” He chuckled teasingly, pulling his hands away from your chest before he held onto your hips gently, keeping them still. You grumbled at how he was getting amused at every embarrassing thing your body was doing.

Kyle was truly taking pleasure at the little twitches in your body, and as much as he wanted to take you right this very second, he wanted to be patient, to gently coax you into fully relaxing. Only then was he going to fuck you. He gently lowered his head, ignoring the way his back was leaning forward in a somewhat awkward manner, his lips gently brushing against your right nipple.

“Can I?” He whispered, looking up at you from this angle, watching the way your brows were furrowed and lips were slightly parted, your head nodding too quickly. He slowly latched his mouth to your nipple, his tongue caressing the soft bud with care. You moaned softly, your fingers going to his head once again, clinging onto his hair.

He took his time sucking on both of your nipples, hands never leaving your hips. Each swirl of his tongue around on your sensitive skin caused you to shiver, chest rising and falling with each breath you took. Once your nipples were all wet and swollen, he began peppering gentle kisses on the softness of your breasts before eventually pulling his head back, licking his bottom lip in delight.

“You have no idea what you're doin’ to me, lovie…”

He slowly eased you off his lap before laying you down on the ground, making sure that the fluffy pillows you both were seated on earlier were now resting underneath you. Once he got on top of you, kneeling in between your legs, he slowly began to press soft kisses on your belly, his hands holding onto your hands. He smiled against your skin once he felt your fingers lacing with his, his lips trailing a line of kiss down to your belly button before resting on top of them hem of your pajama trousers.

“Can I, lovie?” He groaned softly while pressing kisses on your waist line, wanting to make sure that you wanted this as much as he did. He was kissing on a particular ticklish spot of yours, causing you to squirm and laugh shyly.

“Fuck— yes. Yes, Kyle…” You whimpered out in between your soft giggles, your fingers slowly leaving him once he pulled his hands back. He slowly tugged your pajamas down, sliding them off your ankles and socks-cladded feet. His eyes fell onto the pair of panties you wore, a wet patch visible on them. His heart bloomed with fondness at how adorable you looked like this, all flushed and squirmy, visibly needy.

His thumb brushed over the wet spot, gently outlining your folds from the fabric of your dampening panties. Your hips twitched, your hands desperately holding onto your breasts since they didn’t know what else to hold onto. His other hand gently fondled your thighs before reaching to slide your panties down, tossing them aside.

“Holy fuck…” He breathed out in awe once his eyes fell onto your glistening cunt. It was so fucking gorgeous, his lips trembling a bit. Fuck, how did he get so lucky? He looked at you to make sure you were okay, noticing how you looked so fuzzy with pleasure, an excited smile adorning your lips.

“Kiss…” You whined out softly, hands reaching forward, aching to hold his face. He chuckled under his breath and nodded, gently leaning down to press his lips against yours while your hands cupped his face, his tongue finding yours. While he kissed you passionately, his fingers reached down to gently caress your wet folds, sliding his fingers up and down your cunt. Your whimpers were sucked in by his mouth, your eyes fluttering shut as your hands held onto his face dearly, your hips bucking forward to somehow get more contact with his hand.

He slowly pulled away from the kiss, his other hand going in between your legs too. His thumb cautiously brushed over your clit, feeling it pulsate and twitch underneath. God, just how needy were you? It was adorable, causing him to smile affectionately, his thumb beginning to rub your clit in circular motions. A breathy moan left your lips, your hand coming to cover your mouth because what if your noises are just so damn annoying to him? But the glare he shot you after that made you uncover your mouth once again. “No need to hold in your noises.” He grumbled softly.

You nodded sheepishly, your body struggling to stay still as his thumb continued to rub your sensitive clit, his finger gently coming to circle your entrance, feeling how warm it was. “Can I push my fingers in?” He asked softly, leaning down to press a peck on your forehead. You nodded, taking a few deep breaths to relax your muscles.

He started with one finger, gently sliding it into your tight entrance with surprising ease, probably due to how wet you were. Your walls tightened around his fingers as he gently began to rub it inside you, his thumb continuing to mindlessly fondle with your clit.

“Mmh… Kyle…” You let out a soft moan, eyes glossy due to how good it felt, your nerves feeling tingly — in a good way.

“Want more?”

“Yes—!”

Kyle slowly eased in another finger inside you, and soon one more. He couldn’t help it, you were being so good for him. He gently began thrusting his three fingers in and out of your tight cunt, stretching you nicely, his thumb never stopping from giving your needy clit some attention.

Your eyes rolled back, lips parted as your hips gently bucked back and forth in sync with his fingers. His fingers were rubbing against the sweet spongy spots inside you, causing your face to contort in pleasure. Even your own fingers couldn’t make you feel so good.

It wasn’t long until you felt your walls tightening up around his fingers, breathing getting shaky as your mind became blurry. “S-So close…! P-Please— Need it, need it.” You mindlessly babbled, almost sobbing out once the wave of pleasure hit you hard, warmth bursting in your stomach as your climax hit you hard, your body squirming. Kyle’s eyes were wide with adoration, his fingers slowly down but never stopping, letting you ride your orgasm out while his eyes looked down at the sweet, sticky white cum on the base of his fingers — your cum.

“Fuck… You are so good f’me, lovie.” He eased his fingers out of your pretty cunt, leaning down to gently kiss your chin, your teary eyes fluttering open to look at him. He smiled at you before gently putting his wet fingers in his mouth, lips nicely closing around his fingers as his tongue licked your cum off them. Your eyes widened in a mixture of surprise, arousal and embarrassment. He was actually licking your cum.

He savored the bittersweet taste before pulling his fingers out of his mouth, grinning cheekily at you. “Tastiest thing I ever tasted.” He commented, earning a gentle swat on his arm from you.

“Cheeky bastard…”

“You know I am.” He cooed before slowly sliding his hoodie off his head, revealing his nicely muscular torso.

You gawked at him, a tiny gasp leaving your lips as your eyes roamed over his upper half, looking at his smooth skin that was adorned with some little scars here and there, a bigger one staring from his waist and probably leading to his back. He's pretty.

He noticed your reaction, the cheeky grin never leaving his lips. He knew that he was good looking enough, and the fact that you find him attractive as well somewhat boosted his confidence even more — in a very good way.

Your hands gently reached up, caressing along the small scars on his shoulders before moving to rest against his muscular chest. “You look nice…” You finally managed to gather some courage to compliment him, all the anxiety just melting from your body. Your thighs were still trembling, the wetness continuing to pool in between your legs. Your eyes looked down, catching a glimpse of light happy trail leading down to his sweatpants and them— Holy fuck. You felt your mouth water once your eyes landed on his sweatpants, a visible erection visible there that you seemingly hadn’t noticed before. Your mind blanked out for a few seconds before you quickly looked back at his face, catching him staring at you with a knowing gaze.

“Do you want me, lovie? Want me in you?” He asked, tone a bit firm yet gentle at the same time — highlighting how he truly cared about you. He didn’t want to fuck you if you didn’t want it. You nibbled on your bottom lip for a few seconds, staring at him with a hazy gaze as you thought over his question.

Did you want him? Oh fuck. So much.

“Yes… But I-I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You responded in a meek voice, causing his eyes to soften up.

“Trust me. Gonna take ya out on lots of dates after this, I promise.” He whispered, words full of sincerity. With one final kiss on your lips, he slowly tugged his sweatpants down alongside his briefs, not bothering to keep them. He tossed them aside before gently resting back in between your legs.

His cock was so hard, precum already sliding down his length. He was nicely sized with a big length and an even better girth. It would probably destroy you if you weren’t so wet right now.

He paused for a while, brows furrowing as he looked around. “Don’t have a condom, fuck.”

“I’m on pills.” You reassured him. It was true that you were on pills, despite having barely anyone to hook up with. Maybe you were just waiting for someone, someone like him — someone that reminded you of the sunset with how warm they were, somehow who eased the storm inside your head. He was just so perfect in every way, and he didn’t even know it. Fucking evil.

Kyle nodded, gently spreading your legs apart with his hands, his fingers kneading into the soft flesh of your thighs, massaging your muscles. “Gonna fuck you so nicely, lovie. I promise I will.” He said, words dripping with genuine warmth. He slowly pressed the tip of his cock in front of your swollen clit, nudging it — like a kiss. He began rubbing your clit with the tip of his cock, his hand gripping the shaft to keep his throbbing erection still. You let out a breathy sigh, melting into the pillows beneath you while he continued to tease you.

“Kyle, please…” You groaned shyly, voice laced with mild frustration and overwhelming need. You needed him in you, to feel his skin against yours so you could assure him of how lovely and special he truly is — a fucking gem in the rough battleground he had to face so much.

Kyle nodded, eyes glinting at amusement at your pleas as his hands moved up to gently hold onto your waist, aligning his cock in front of your entrance. “Ready?”

With one final nod from you, he gently began pushing the tip of his cock in your tightness, a blissful groan leaving his lips as he wetness engulfed him slowly. He made sure to look at your face for any signs of discomfort from the stretch, because fuck it was a lot. He found none and that was the green light for him to slowly push his cock in, inch by inch, until it was nice and snug in your tight cunt, some of his public hair tickling your skin.

“You okay?” He asked, one hand reaching up to gently brush some of your hair off your forehead which was a bit wet from sweat now, placing a kiss in between your brows while you nodded.

“Mmph—… So good…” You slurred out, feeling so full with his cock all stuffed in you. Your hands made their way to rest on his back as he leaned down on you, your fingers rubbing gently on his nape. “L-Like you a lot, Kyle. Don’t want you to think that you are not loveable… O-Or that you are a fool. You are so perfect in my eyes…” You fumbled on your words in the midst of the pleasurable haze, though your words were as genuine as they could — your heart speaking to him.

Kyle’s heart skipped a beat at your words, his brown eyes softening up. Fuck, you’re just so sweet, filling his empty heart. He smiled to himself and nodded, pressing soft kisses on the tip of your nose, causing you to let out a heartful giggle. He chuckled alongside you, rubbing his nose against yours affectionately before he slowly began to thrust his cock in and out of your tightness, his right hand clasping onto your waist again while his other hand moved in between your legs, thumb resuming to gently play with your sensitive clit.

His thrusts were gentle and paced nicely, not too agonizingly slow and not too fast. This was all to give you pleasure, to show how you had made your way into his heart so easily. He rested his head in the crook of your neck while your fingers gently dug into his back, not too hard to leave any marks. Breathy, blissful moans left your lips while a smile adorned your lips — just refusing to go away.

You could hear his soft groans echoing in your ears, his lips peppering kisses on your earlobe and down your jaw. Your skins were pressed together, making everything so humid as he kept a steady pace, the tip of his cock gently slamming against your cervix, causing your toes to curl up. His girth rubbed against your spongy sweet spots just perfectly, making you literally swoon while your eyes struggled to keep open, mind fogged with this feeling that was making you melt into mush.

“So tight— lovie. So perfect and warm f’me…” He breathed out, thumb sliding up and down your sweet clit as he hips moved alongside yours, skin gently slapping with one another. His musk mixed with yours, alongside the perfume that he had worn earlier, making his head spin.

You couldn’t stop a tear from escaping your eyes, your sniffle catching Kyle’s attention as he pulled his head back from your neck to look at you, your eyes all teary. “Feels too good?” He asked, kissing the tear away as you nodded, whimpering softly as your lips quivered.

“Never felt so good before…”

“Me too.”

A familiar pressure began building up in your lower abdomen once again as he continued playing with your bundle of nerves, cock continuing to thrust in and out of your cunt, balls smacking against your skin. “Close…” You mewled out, the pressure feeling stronger than before as your fingernails dug into his back, your legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him as close as you could, your movement causing the swollen tip of his cock to hit your cervix once again, causing your mind to go all white as your orgasm hit you once again, your body convulsing in pleasure as you cried out meekly, his cock coaxing you to ride your pleasure out while your folds fluttered around him. a white creamy ring made its way on his shaft, which was your doing. Your brain felt so foggy, body lightheaded and relaxed as he pressed soft kisses on your cheeks.

“Good God… Such a perfect thing ya are, cummin’ on my cock. Can I cum in you, lovie?” He grunted, his own orgasm approaching as his thrusts got a bit sloppy from the wet mess you created, his cock throbbing inside your tight walls. You nodded breathlessly and his balls tightened almost immediately, his orgasm hitting him in waves as thick ropes of cum spurted out of his cock, painting your insides white.

He didn’t pull his cock out once his thrusts slowed down before coming to a stop, his hands sliding up to cup your face lovingly, looking at how pretty you looked after being fucked, letting himself relish the way you were wrapped around his cock. An adorable mess actually.

“Kyle…” You shyly smiled at him, eyes half open while your hands moved to hold onto his shoulders, your body feeling so damn sensitive.

After a few more minutes of just basking in your warmth, Kyle slowly pulled his cock out of you, some drops of thick cum sliding down your cunt. It made him want to fuck you again, but he didn’t want to tire you any more than you already were.

“Let’s get you cleaned up…” He slowly got up on his feet and searched for your bathroom in the apartment, coming back after a few minutes with a pair of wet towels. He began cleaning your body, which was still trembling in pleasure — the towel gently gliding against the skin and in between your legs, cautiously cleaning your inner thighs.

“Pillows got dirty.” He cheekily mumbled, causing you to pout and look at him lazily.

“You will clean it… S’your fault.”

“Fine.”

After he was done cleaning you up, he gently eased you up on your feet, leading you into your bedroom, his hands carrying both of your clothes and putting them to the side, tossing the towel in the laundry — already memorizing each corner of your apartment.

He went to the bathroom momentarily to quickly clean himself up before he came back, guiding you to gently lay on your bed, your hand grabbing his wrist. “Stay with me…” You tiredly giggled, mustering up as much strength as you had to pull him on the bed too.

Kyle’s heart almost exploded in his chest at your words, his breath hitching as he looked at you in awe before nodding. Not bothering to wear any clothes, you both slid into the covers, his arms wrapping around you while your head neatly tucked into your neck, one leg hooking around his waist. “Sleep well, lovie… Gonna be here with ya when ya wake up.” He promised, placing a soft kiss on the side of your head as he felt your breathing calming down, your body and mind soon entering a state of peaceful slumber — probably the best sleep you had in months.

You never put a label on your relationship with Gaz. It was definitely not casual — something more for sure, especially with the blossoming feelings in your heart that could be described as nothing but romantic. Love, even. You didn't know what properly being in love felt like, maybe whatever this was that you felt towards him. He had taken you out for a date to an amusement park before he had to go for his deployment. A date. It meant something to both of you, right?

“Only three weeks, lovie. Promise I’ll be back soon.” He said softly while standing in front of your front door as he prepared to leave, reassuring you even though he had spent the whole last weeks cuddling you and trying to tell you that it will be quick. Your eyes were all teary, mind overwhelmed with anxiety because you had no idea how the whole thing even works. You just prayed that he would come back safe.

You nodded at him, handing him a box of cookies you had baked for him after hours of watching tutorials. “For you…” You sheepishly mumbled, wiping the tears that had formed in your eyes.

Kyle gratefully accepted the box before pulling you in a tight hug, smothering your face up with kisses. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Fuck three weeks. It had been five. You had stopped receiving messages from him after the two week mark, and all you felt was nauseous from how anxious you felt, hearing the loud beating of blood in your ears while your stomach uncomfortably twisted.

It wasn't until this morning that Kyle had finally texted you with a “Coming today.” — so painfully dry in comparison to his other messages but you could only rationally conclude that something must have happened in the mission. You were frustrated, yes, but that was just a result of being so overwhelmed for the past five weeks.

It was raining heavily today, the sounds of the rain sliding against the glass of your window alongside the muffled thunder somewhat soothing your nerves.

Though for Kyle, the rain was a mess. His flight had just landed an hour or two ago, and now he was at the base. The traffic was fucking jammed around the area, and his teammates couldn’t give him a ride home too because one of the SUVs had to go for repairing. Just his bloody luck. He didn’t want to keep you waiting anymore, he couldn’t. Not after everything he had gone through in this mission.

Blood was dripping down Kyle’s forehead as he struggled to maintain his vision, hiding behind a wall while gunshots roared behind him. The enemies had outnumbered them badly, and he had to hide here until more of the team arrived.

He didn’t want to die. God, not here, not now. Not after just figuring out so much about himself, not after just meeting you. Oh, you. You were there, waiting in your apartment. And fuck, he was so late. He had said three weeks, but it had been four starting today.

Wasn’t his fault though, even though it felt like one. They had gained new intel on the enemy last minute after what felt like a failed mission, and they knew that they couldn’t leave it.

God, he was terrified. It wasn’t often that he felt true fear. But he felt it now, only because he didn’t want to leave you alone, not at least without telling you how he felt about you. To expressing his undying feelings for you, to—

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud thunderclap, a groan leaving his lips. Slowly but surely, he made up his mind. He was going to run over to the apartment complex. It wasn’t that far away from here and he had enough stamina, plus he didn’t give a fuck about the heavy rain.

With his duffel bag in his hand, he sprinted out of the base, legs carrying him towards the streets. His blue cap was soaking, barely covering his face or providing him some sort of cover as he ran and ran through the slipper pavement, ignoring the ache in his head that was a result from the wound he gad gotten, although not fatal but still painful, a bandage now place on the sidre of his forehead.

Eventually reaching the apartment complex you both lived in, he breathed heavily, standing outside the building, not caring about being all wet. Still, hopefully nothing inside the duffel bag was ruined. He sent you a quick text, asking you to meet him outside.

You had rushed out of the apartment building as soon as you got his text, heart beating fast due to the sudden rush of adrenaline, a jacket hastily put on you while you held an umbrella. Your eyes looked around the foggy street before you spotted him, a big smile coming on your lips.

“Kyle!” You gasped in pure excitement, carefully making your way over to him. Though as soon as he saw you, he dropped his duffel back and rushed over to you, his arms pulling you in fast and tight, causing the umbrella to drop from your hand and fall onto the ground.

“Lovie! G-God, fuck… So sorry for leaving you… So sorry—” His voice cracked as he fumbled out every explanation he could form, his mind already overwhelmed at the sight of you. God, he missed you so much. His arms were wrapped around you tight, facing burying into the crook of your neck, feeling the familiar scent cloud his senses and calm him down.

“Kyle… It’s okay. Hey, s’okay…” You mumbled softly, still a bit confused though he could explain it all later. Right now, all that mattered was him. “We are gettin’ wet, we should— Wait, is that a bandage? Are you ok—”

But before you could finish your sentence, his mouth had already found its way to yours, kissing you gently. Your eyes immediately fluttered shut, your hand reaching up to gently take his cap off his head and hold it as you kissed him back, both of your arms wrapping around his neck while his hands held your waist.

The rain fell on both of you, your clothes clinging to your skin while a cool breeze brushed past you both. But he was already lost in the taste of your lips, and the feel of you in his arms. For the first time, Kyle felt like he was worth something, like he was not alone anymore. That he's loved.

He gently parted from the kiss, whispering gently into your ear, words that made your heart swell up in affection that you didn’t know you were capable of feeling.

“I love you, lovie.”

And God, you loved him too. More than anything.

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charmedreincarnation · 2 months

Note

hey charm !

i have known about manifestation for years now but i still have a problem with it. so basically, i know for sure that i’m going to enter the void but i don’t know when. everytime something happens in my life, i’m like "it doesn’t matter anyway bc i’m going to manifest my dream life". i have been daydreaming all the time for years so it’s very natural for me. as i see myself in stories that my brain creates, i started doing the same for my dream life. now, i know exactly what it will look like and i live those scenarios in my head like if they were really happening.

the problem is that when i want to enter the void, i’m always trying (i don’t really see myself succeeding) bc i’m scared that if i put too much effort in it or if i really believe it and i don’t succeed i’ll be discouraged.

i really don’t know what to do bc i realized that if i continue just trying and thinking "i’ll get my dream life later" i’ll never manifest it. also i don’t understand the wish fulfilled state bc i feel like i’m already doing it by daydreaming and being sure that i’m going to have my dream life. i want to convince myself that i can enter the void and get everything i want RIGHT NOW and not "later if i’m lucky enough". i feel stuck and i don’t know what to do anymore to keep going.

i’m sorry for the long ask and my bad english…

thank you 🤍🤍

Hi love, first and foremost your English is even better than mine so don’t apologize, and secondly I struggled with this so badly I completely understand.

It's easy to feel stuck waiting for what you want to come to fruition. Even though you might sense that your desire is on its way, it can seem far off, like it's in the future instead of the present. Time passing can make this feeling even stronger, even though time is always moving forward, which makes it even more contradictory. But feeling comfortable and sure that what you want is already yours is the important feeling. By focusing on the idea that your desire is already part of your life, you will shift from waiting for the future to feeling like your desires are already here and now. That's why it's emphasized in the community that you should allow yourself to believe deeply in the fulfillment of your desires right now.

When you really embrace the natural feeling of knowing that your desire is already a part of your life, you will naturally align your thoughts and feelings, with the state of having what you want regardless of the method or technique you’re using to achieve it. That’s what helps me feel confident about making my desires a reality.

seriously understand what you want isn't just something for the future; it's a part of your life right now.The process of manifestation isn't just about daydreaming or imagining your desired reality though that helps. It's about deeply believing that what you want is already real. Shifting your mindset from waiting for luck to deserving and capable of having your dream life will always give you comfort. Also to overcome feeling stuck, i liked practicing mindfulness and using affirmations. Being mindful will help you stay focused on the present, while affirmations helped strengthen my belief!

It's also helpful to detach from the need for immediate results. By letting go of the pressure for instant success, it should reduce your anxiety and allow your inner world to work its magic while staying true to your intentions. Because regardless of how long you think it will take, if you understand it’s immediate and time is passing regardless you will stop trying to fight with the concept of “waiting.” I also recommend reading my time post and this one as well!

Regardless It's natural to feel unsure at times, but start by nurturing your belief in the wish fulfilled state and keep doing what else keep your mind at bay with knowing you really don’t have to do anything unless you want to. Because you’re always doing eveything right

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

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adnauseum11 · 2 months

Text

I.E.D. (John Price x Reader)

John breaks the news of his imminent departure.

2.2k words

CW: swearing, mild violence, alcohol

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series, the Masterlist is pinned to my blog as well.

Feedback welcome!

IED = Improvised. Explosive. Device.

Masterlist

Ao3

It takes less than five minutes for John to completely eviscerate your plans after he returns from his phone call. He’s watching you absorb the news with an infuriating calm expectancy. You can feel your face flush, disbelief and hurt washing over you in equal measure. There’s a dull rushing in your ears, and you have to ask him to repeat himself as you slowly set down the wreath you are unpacking.

“I have to go, tonight, in a few hours.”

He’s standing close, his hand smoothing over your shoulder and neck, tracking your reaction closely.

“What? You’re leaving? In a few hours?”

You can’t help the shocked whine in your voice as you process this news, even as you hate how needy it makes you sound.

“I can’t say too much but I’m required on a mission, love. I’ll be gone for a few days at least, probably a week.”

His tone is careful, mollifying, which only serves to heighten your distress.

“Out back in the field? You said you turned it down!”

“I did. This isn’t that.”

“Oh…right. Well, then by all means, that makes it fine.”

You can feel your face get hot and the prickle of tears behind your eyes, but you clamp down on that reaction like a dog with a bone. Anger is easier.

“Darling, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear –“

“No shit.”

You deadpan flatly. John has the good grace to wince, holding his hands up in placating gesture.

“There’s extenuating circumstances here, love.”

“Since when are you still even entertaining these contracts?”

Your fists clench at your sides, the urge to swing something at his head building with every passing moment of this hideous conversation. You march away from him instead, hoping some distance will help your impulse control. He follows but wisely allows you some space.

“I’m not, not really. This is different. It’s just… bad timing, darling.”

“You’re really leaving me here at Christmas, alone, with no plans and not even a job to go to? Seriously!? At least there would be other people at work, John! I wouldn’t be forced to be alone! Did you even consider me before you agreed to this!?”

“Darling, this wasn’t planned.”

“But you’re choosing to go.”

“I have to go, it involves me.”

His temper finally makes an appearance, his whole demeanour becoming unyeilding.

“I’m sorry - I thought I heard you say you were involved. How the fuck are you involved in anything; you’ve been retired for a while now.”

You shake your head, trying to make his words fit with what you know of his life. John hisses a curse, his sudden discomfort with the topic setting off alarm bells in your head.

“John.”

He drags his palm over his face in a gesture that belies his reluctance.

“John.”

“I’m involved in that it’s tied up with a mission I was on years ago. We thought it was put to rest and I guess… it’s not, anymore.”

He answers finally, his explanation sparse. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation, you can tell by the way he’s holding himself, his back and arms rigid. He rarely discusses his work with you, a topic you have by mutual agreement left well enough alone for years. Your anxiety means you can’t handle hearing the details without spiralling, and the nature of John’s work often precluded any details from being available, a situation that suited you both. Now you’re pulling teeth, trying to get to the bottom of this turn of events, neither one of you used to it.

“And why do YOU have to go, why not someone else, who is active?”

“I’m part of the group they’re looking for.”

“Looking for.”

You deadpan again, the words sounding hollow as you repeat them back to him.

“Darling, I can’t really disclose anything, you know that.”

“Right. But someone is looking for you.”

“Someone is looking for the men that were on my taskforce, hence why I am involved, yes.”

John nods, his jaw tight. You pause to take in this tiny bit of information and a sudden bolt of realization hits you. The man in your apartment hadn’t stolen anything, he’d been looking for something.

“Were they looking for you in my apartment?”

John’s face falls and you feel your stomach drop. His reaction tells you all you need to know. Some awful part of you can’t help but need to hear the truth from his own mouth, like running a finger over a bruise.

“Suspect the break-in was related, yeah.”

His tone is hesitant, but the words rankle all the same.

“Why are people looking for you at my apartment, not here?”

John refuses to answer, staring you down with pressed lips.

“Why John?”

You repeat yourself forcefully, hands finding your own hips. You can tell the moment John decides to relent, whatever mental math he’s doing not adding up to his liking.

“Looking for a way to scare me, is the assumption. Use you to hurt me.”

He finally speaks, his gravelly voice low. A cold chill runs down your spine and you look at the man in front of you with what feel like fresh eyes. Danger lives closer to John than you had ever stopped to fully imagine.

“Were you going to tell me, or let me keep thinking it was a random break in?”

“Darling-“

He starts but stops immediately, reflexively scratching his whiskered cheek in uncertainty. You can read him like a book, instantly piecing together the reason for his hesitancy is he doesn’t like the way the truth sounds.

“Oh my god, John, I’m so mad at you right now I could spit. What the fuck?”

“I just want you safe, that’s all that matters to me. I didn’t want to frighten you off.”

“So, moving me in here, talking me into quitting my job, all that was to do what?? Keep an eye on me?”

“I want you here. It also happened to be the safest course of action. Both things can be true. And I didn’t talk you in to quitting your job, I just stopped talking you out of it, love.”

John’s uncharacteristically defensive, a wrinkle between his arched brows.

“You told me to rely on you! And now you’re fucking off over the holidays with no guarantee you’ll make it back! And I’m what – being watched or stalked or something?? And you weren’t going to say anything??”

This time you can’t help yourself from the impulse, grabbing the nearest reindeer figurine off the kitchen island and hurling it in his direction. John easily sidesteps it, his eyebrows shooting up in disbelief at your eruption. You grab another figurine but John is on you before you can haul off and throw it, grabbing your wrist.

“Oi! Knock it off!”

He barks at you, using a voice you’ve not heard turned in your direction before. You drop the deer on instinct but glare at him, your jaw jutting out in anger.

“I don’t have any confirmation that someone is watching you I just prefer to limit the possibilities for vulnerabilities when I’m not there to mitigate them.”

“Fucking speak English, John, I don’t speak military”

You jerk out of his grip, putting some distance between you again. If you weren’t so agitated you would have an easier time of focusing on what he’s saying but it feels like your heart is sinking through the floor, heavy with disappointment and doubt. Another recent memory asserts itself, hitting you like a sucker punch.

“Oh my god, the pub? You kept saying you were concerned for my safety; I really thought you were just jealous.”

You can feel the blood drain out of your face, your heart pounding as things slowly shift in to focus. The last few weeks were unrolling in a completely different context for John you are realizing. The sweet and protective gestures taking on a completely new layer of significance. John holds his hands up, trying to ease closer to you again but you take another step back, feeling the kitchen counter behind you. John stops moving, the expression he’s wearing strange to you. He’s always so confident that the look of uncertainty is alarming on his face, making your thumping heart press against your breastbone painfully.

“I don’t know if that’s related. It’s unlikely. Like I said, nothing is confirmed. Just…playing it safe.”

John admits, his face settling into worry.

“You weren’t going to tell me any of this, were you? You were going to keep manipulating me. You just needed to keep tabs on me so I didn’t get caught up in whatever the fuck is going on.”

It’s not a question, it’s a confirmation.

“That’s not true, of course I want you around. I love you, darling. You wanted to quit. I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do. I just made it safer.”

John sounds a little desperate, the sound grating and unnatural to your ears.

“I don’t want to be alone at Christmas, John! I didn’t even know it was a possibility for you to be gone until minutes ago! Now you’re leaving on a mission and I’m what? Just supposed to sit here until you get back? That’s not love, you didn’t consider me at all. If you come back. Oh god.”

You feel a sweep of nausea and grip your stomach, pitching forward at the waist in discomfort.

“When I come back, the threat will be neutralized. Not doing all this for fucking maybes.”

“Alright, you know what - yeah you, you should go.”

You suddenly agree, crossing your arms over your painfully twisted stomach. You can’t remember the last time you were this upset with him, it’s been literal years. John curses under his breath, unable or unwilling to argue with you. He’s immobile, watching you intently for any clue as to your head space.

“Darling –“

He’s using a careful tone of voice and reaches for you again but it makes you flinch.

“Don’t John. Just go do what you need to do. It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not fine, darling.”

He retreats, hands on his hips, and you can feel his eyes locked on your face.

“For the purposes of this conversation, it’s fine.”

There’s an excruciatingly long pause before John responds, his voice soft. You refuse to meet his gaze, staring at the spot the missing reindeer should be in.

“We’ll talk when I get back, yeah?”

You don’t answer, giving no indication you’ve heard him. Your insides feel like glass, one sharp breath away from shattering. Trying to reconcile the man standing in front of you, who’s been purposely keeping things from you with the man you’re in love with who bends over backwards for you is taking more brain power than you can summon. You’ll be damned if you cry in front of a man who is actively manipulating you. Taking your cue from the ceramic deer lining the island, you freeze in place.

John either gets the hint or gives up because he leaves you in the kitchen, breathing carefully in the corner of the cabinets. You barely dare to move, everything feeling surreal. You eventually tuck yourself into your spot on the couch, buried under the blanket when John returns, his rucksack slung over a shoulder. He drops it at the door and you track it’s fall, determined to look at something other than the concerned man boring holes into you with his eyes.

“I don’t want to leave like this. Talk to me please, love.”

“Don’t, John. This is what you chose.”

“I chose to keep you safe the best way I know how. I didn’t choose for this situation to crop up now, it’s beyond my control. I love you darling, I’m not –“

“You say you love me but you don’t trust me, John. You don’t want to tell me things because your scared of how I’ll react. It’s not fair. You’re making choices that affect me too but I’m not part of the conversation. I just…I’m really pissed with you right now. And I doubt you have time to sort it out.”

You stay tucked under the blanket, your eyes finally meeting John’s across the expanse of the room. You can tell your point lands when his shoulders deflate, his posture shifting.

“You’re right, I don’t have time.”

He agrees, crossing the room to stop in front of you. You have to crane your neck to keep your eyes on his face until he bends to kiss you. You realize his intention and turn, giving him your cheek instead of your lips. His palm strokes over your hair before he backs off with a heavy sigh, scooping up his rucksack again.

“We’ll figure this out when I get back.”

John gives you one last reluctant look before he closes the door behind him. You can hear the lock turn, and your heart lurches, the finality of the sound chilling.

You spend the rest of the night on the couch, alternating between drinking a bottle of John’s expensive white wine and crying until your face is raw and hurting. You only briefly consider sleeping in John’s big bed alone, the idea so thoroughly off-putting you reject it nearly as soon as it crosses your mind. If anyone had asked you how you pictured your evening ending, face down in the couch cushions, drunk and alone wouldn’t have crossed your mind as a possibility.

Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

#fanfic #captain john price #john price x reader #call of duty #john price #john price cod #john price x f!reader #friends to lovers #captain price #john price x you #cod fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #captain price x reader #captain john price x reader #cw alcohol

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bangtanflirt · 1 year

Text

Wait, Little Rabbit! (Part 4)

fluff, angst, smut

Bunny Hybrid (Fem) Reader x Human Seokjin x Dog Hybrids Jimin and Hoseok x Cat Hybrid Yoongi x Wolf Hybrids Namjoon, Taehyung, & Jungkook

NSFW. 18+

Part 1 > Part 2 > Part 3 > Part 4 > Part 5

Summary: You, a meek little bunny hybrid, find family amongst six predator hybrids and their lovely human caretaker.

Warnings: mxm smut, anal fingering and penetration, handjob, mild pain and overstimulation kink, dirty talk with lots of teasing, lovey dovey dom and sub dynamics, ptsd from past abuse manifested in a nightmare and anxiety attack, prejudice against predators this time because I like to switch it up, Joon and y/n still have boatloads of sexual tension, overall this is mainly hurt/comfort more than anything else tbh

____

It’s the next morning, when you’re using some of Taehyung’s art supplies in the dining room, that Namjoon excitedly walks towards you. A hint of your prey instincts creep in, fazed by the Alpha coming at you so quickly. Namjoon notices your unease, and you’re worried he’ll ridicule you for being so on edge, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he slows down his movements. When he’s reached the dining table, he puts down a stack of ten or so books and stands proudly before you. You look at the books, seeing titles of “Memoirs of a Prey Hybrid,” “What Predators Don’t Get” and such. You look up at the tall wolf with curiosity.

“I did some reading” He states, eyes searching yours for approval.

“Oh my God, Namjoon. This is so much! You really got through all of these…for me?”

He nods, puffing his chest out. “I told you I would try to understand you better, and I don’t say things I can’t commit to. I’ve gained a lot of perspective reading these.”

“This is..wow, thank you Namjoon, really.” You’re amazed. You’d never expect an apex predator to put so much work into understanding a little prey like you. “No wonder Taehyung and Jungkook look up to you so much. That thing you told me about wanting to lead with respect—you’re doing an amazing job with that, really.”

The wolf’s dimples make an appearance, shy smile making your heart jump. It’s almost enough to make you forget his stunt last night. Almost.

“But I’m still annoyed with you about yesterday. That was mean.” You stand up in front of him, pouting and with your arms crossed across your chest. The height difference really doesn’t help you to be taken seriously. Namjoon’s kind gaze changes to a mischievous one once more as he chuckles down at you. “That was payback for making me think about your topless figure the whole day.” You narrow your eyes, “You could have done something about it. But you left me high and dry.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be high and dry too long, not with the dog hybrids at your beck and call.”

“That’s not the point..why didn’t you do something?”

“Because you didn’t beg for it.”

You gawk at him but he just shrugs, doubling down.

“I’m an Alpha, y/n. You really think I’ll just give into you because you want it? That’s not how things work around here sweetheart. If you want me, you’ll have to kneel and beg first.”

He punctuates his statement with a wink, then walks away before you even have time to process. You shake away the growing neediness in the pit of your stomach, feeling your pride slip away from you. Surely, he’s not serious—right? He’s just messing with you a little more. He won’t make you actually kneel and beg. Surely not.

An hour goes by as you go back to mindlessly painting, brain still hung up on the Alpha wolf’s frustrating demands. You’re so tangled in your own thoughts that it takes you a minute to see Jimin has woken up, making his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. When you do notice, you call out for the dog hybrid, wanting to wave him good morning. Strangely, he doesn’t respond, instead keeping all of his attention on the glass he’s filling. You try one more time, but cut yourself off when your eyes zero in on his face. It’s not the bright morning face you’re used to; the dog hybrid’s eyes are puffed up and red, and his lips are twisted into a rigid frown.

You make your way to the kitchen in an instant, taking the man’s face into your hands and asking what’s wrong. He doesn’t respond, just pulls you in and starts sobbing loud enough for the other hybrids to hear from their rooms. It takes no time for everyone to gather around you two, minus Seokjin who’s at work.

“Chim, what’s wrong? Is it the nightmares again?” Hoseok’s voice overflows with concern as he rubs the younger dog hybrid’s back. Jimin doesn’t respond, too occupied with the growing pain in his chest.

“Nightmares?” You question, still firmly in Jimin’s embrace.

“He gets like this sometimes when he has nightmares of his old owners” Yoongi explains, “some kind of PTSD that also triggers an anxiety attack. Not as frequent as before but they do still happen.”

Your heart drops as you hug him back tightly, tears prickling at your own cheeks from seeing him this way. Hoseok lets you tighten your embrace for a minute before carefully prying Jimin off of you to hand him water and a prescribed pill. Everyone watches with worry; Yoongi stresses for him to do his breathing techniques while Jungkook brings him his favorite tennis ball. The dog hybrid holds the tennis ball close, using it to ground himself.

“They moved a long time ago Jimin, they can’t hurt you anymore.” Taehyung says in the most serious tone you’ve ever heard from him, “Plus you have us now, and we’ll rip their throats out before they can even breathe the same air as you or Hobi hyung. There’s no reason to be scared when you have us.”

Taehyung’s words seem to help relax Jimin, his breathing getting less frantic between the sips of water Hoseok nudges him to take. This talk isn’t new; one hybrid or another usually says something along the same lines every time he gets like this. Still, it helps to be reminded. Hopefully one day he can internalize it, but until then, the people around him are more than fine with reminding him.

___

The original plan was to spend a lazy afternoon together, huddled around watching a movie and waiting for Jin to return. That plan, however, is so boring. No one is feeling the movie anymore, but you’ve already watched too much to switch to another one right now. It doesn’t help that Jimin’s morning anxiety attack is still fresh on everyone’s mind, and the dog hybrid himself doesn’t look up to his full self either. This is when Namjoon does what he’s best at: lead.

“Okay that’s enough of this movie. Let’s go to the hybrid park.”

The atmosphere immediately changes, dog hybrids now wagging their tail and all.

“Wait” you inquire “Is it okay to go without a caretaker? Won’t Jin not like it?”

Jungkook chimes in, “Relax bun, Jin doesn’t mind as long as Joon hyung supervises on his behalf!”

And so everyone puts on their collars and tags, ready to set out. It’s the first time you get to wear yours for something other than a vet visit. You admire the baby pink belt with the silver tag. You didn’t think you’d ever get another one. Namjoon swiftly takes the collar from you, telling you to turn around as he tightens it around you. You don’t miss the way his claws every so slightly graze the sensitive skin of your neck, and he doesn’t miss the tiny gasp you let out. However, he’s back into leader mode in point two seconds after, telling everyone to put on sunscreen and bring water bottles. You hate how easily he can get you riled up.

Places like these usually have a “no hybrids without a caretaker” policy, but you know that no seventeen year old—earning minimum wage—at the entry booth is going to argue with a pack of wolves.

The hybrid park in this neighborhood has a completely different vibe than the one you went to before. Your old neighborhood was mainly made up of people like your previous caretaker: elderly and there to relax with their hybrids. Here, however, the caretakers were young and more than willing to play around with their hybrids. The higher energy vibe does intimidate you a little, but not too much considering you’re here with six other hybrids—and all except Yoongi are pretty high energy themselves. It’s after a good hour of playing around does Jimin feel like himself again, making everyone around him visibly less stressed. The vibe is back to usual, and running around in fresh air is exactly what all of you need. Namjoon chooses to sit out of the antics to instead sit and throw a fetch toy for you and the dog hybrids. You notice just how intently he keeps track of each hybrid, causing you to feel further protected. Taehyung and Jungkook are kicking a football around, tackling one another quite aggressively at any chance they get (yet giggling the whole time). Yoongi, predictably, has found himself a nice place to lay around with headphones in. Everyone’s in a state of content by the time Namjoon gathers you all to leave.

“Everyone ready to go?”

“Can we stay for ten more minutes? Pleaseee” Jungkook pouts, but Namjoon stands his ground.

“Wait, look over there” Taehyung urges, pointing to a corner of the park where you see an injured hybrid and no caretaker in sight. “I’m going to go help him really quick!” The wolf says before running off.

“TAEHYUNG NO” Namjoon yells but it’s too late, the beta wolf’s speed has him there in a second.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, lost and taken aback at Namjoon’s raised voice. The Alpha takes two fingers to pinch his forehead, “That’s clearly a prey hybrid.”

Uh oh.

“I’ll go get him” Jungkook offers, waiting for confirmation.

“No. Anymore predator hybrids will just make things worse.”

That’s when everyone looks at you.

“Do you think you can go get him bun?” Hobi asks gently. You give them a determined look, nodding before hopping off.

The scene you find once you get there is heart wrenching; the mouse hybrid is crying in fear, screaming for Taehyung to spare him. Taehyung, on the other hand, is repeatedly trying to tell the mouse he’s not going to hurt him, face getting more and more dejected with each failed attempt.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you! I’m here to help.”

“Yeah right! You think I’m dumb just because I’m a prey hybrid, don’t you? Leave me alone you monster!”

“Woah woah” you interject, “relax! Taehyung is harmless! He’s here with me. We can help you!”

You hope your presence can persuade the hurt hybrid, but all you get is a scoff.

“Don’t kid yourself. It won’t be long until he turns on you. It’s a new type of game predator hybrids have started to play: they lie and act until you trust them only to rip you apart after. He’s not your friend. He’s just playing with his food.”

It’s not long before tears prick Taehyung’s eyes and he’s running off. You chase after him, surprised to see where he’s going. Taehyung doesn’t run off mindlessly, nor does he run back to Namjoon and the others; no, he goes to some random caretaker and asks her to check up on the hurt prey. It’s only after his request is accepted does he dispiritedly trudge back to everyone—with you silently trailing behind. The walk back home has reset the mood to once again somber, but this time you’re the one who tries to fix it. You grab the wolf’s hand, keeping him in place, everyone else stops walking as well.

“You know I don’t believe what that mouse told me, right? I trust you, Taehyung. I know what kind of person you are, regardless of what hybrid species you belong to.”

“I just…I hate being feared. I hate it so much. I know I joke around but those are just jokes, I swear.” His voice is meek and broken.

You bring him into your embrace, “I know Tae, I know. I don’t fear you, though. You make me feel safe. That has to count for something, right?”

He pulls away from your embrace, big eyes staring into yours. “Really? I make you feel safe? You’re not just saying that?”

“I mean it.” That causes Taehyung to crack a small smile, along with the other five men. You continue your trail home, feeling Namjoon’s hand slowly pull you to the back of the group.

“Thank you for that y/n. I owe you one.”

Your bunny nose scrunches in confusion. “I did it for him. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know, but as his Alpha I can’t help but feel grateful. Taehyung’s a great guy and all he wants is lots of friends. It’s always been hard to tell him he couldn’t talk to someone because of his species. And nothing I say can give him the affirmation a prey hybrid’s words can. Just this talk and the way you treat him has done a lot for his mental health.”

You take one of Namjoon’s hands into your own, giving it a reassuring squeeze before pulling away. Namjoon, however, takes your hand back into his, interlocking fingers with you the whole way back.

It’s when all of you are back under your own roof does the Alpha use his serious tone again, telling all of you to not mention any of today’s misfortunate events to Seokjin. “Jin hyung doesn’t show it, but I can tell that work is not going well for him right now. If he finds out about Jimin and Taehyung, the stress will really be too much for him.”

You all nod earnestly.

So when Seokjin does come back, everyone greets him with bright smiles and enthusiastic conversation. The park trip is mentioned, but only up to the part before it all went downhill. You see what Namjoon is talking about when you look at your caretaker’s drained visage. He might be smiling and joking around, but the traces of burn-out are more than evident.

“Y/n,” Namjoon comes over and pokes, “can you sleep with the dog hybrids tonight? I think Jin hyung needs me.” You nod, ready to do anything to help. Jungkook steals you away after, complaining that you hardly ever cuddle with him.

“I’m glad Namjoon’s going to talk to Jin tonight. He does look tired.” You mention as the beta wolf wraps himself around you on the couch.

“Yeah, talk.” Jungkook snorts, amused at your naivety.

You’re too oblivious to ask further.

“Hey bun, thanks for what you said to Tae hyung earlier.”

“You’re the second wolf who’s thanked me for that today.”

He smiles, “We’re just really protective of him. Hobi hyung isn’t lying when he says he’s the nicest wolf hybrid you’ll ever meet.”

“You’re pretty sweet yourself, Kook” you nudge his side with your elbow. He pulls you in closer, fingers tracing shapes on your floppy ears. It’s not long before his relaxing movements lull you into sleep. The wolf delicately carries you to the dog hybrids’ room and tucks you in; Jimin and Hobi do well to not make any sound that could wake you up, sliding carefully under the covers and sharing your warmth.

___

Namjoon lays on his hyung’s bed, on his back with legs spread open—cock standing tall and pretty against his stomach. Only thing he has on is what Seokjin’s allowed him to wear: his collar and leash. Jin tugs the leash to make the younger man look at him properly, the two exchanging long looks of adoration. Never in his wildest dreams did the Alpha think he would let someone take control of him in such a way, but that all changed when he opened his heart to Seokjin. As much as he’s a natural leader and loves to dom the other hybrids, it would be a lie to say that always being the decision-maker didn’t take a toll on the wolf. Jin, on the other hand, never much gets to be the decision-maker in his life; constantly being pushed aside and ordered around at the law firm. But here, with his beloved Alpha hybrid, is the one place he can take full rein.

“What a needy little wolf,” Seokjin muses while taking in the sight, “your hole is twitching baby. Does it want me inside that bad?”

Namjoon whines, feeling needier by the second. The Alpha gasps at the feeling of Jin’s finger entering his puckered rim, the cool, lube-covered digit making him squirm. The second finger has him arching his back, making Seokjin chuckle at the desperate sight.

“Need m-more hyung…cock…please”

“Just my fingers have you unable to talk in full sentences, but you’re still asking for my cock?”

Namjoon’s eyes widen at the feeling of Jin’s fat tip prodding at his hole. The older man takes his time, pushing in slowly while memorizing the younger’s face every second he’s plunged deeper into him, occasionally tugging the leash as well. It’s when Jin touches that special spot inside of him do Namjoon’s lips let out their first moan of the night. Once he’s bottomed out, Jin begins moving at a torturously slow pace.

“Hyung! Stop—ngh—teasing please! Can’t take it.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll give it to you like you need baby.” And with that, Seokjin starts thrusting at a brutal pace, mercilessly pounding into his lover’s tight hole. It’s not long before the wolf’s whole body starts shaking into a violent orgasm, topped with tears of pleasure running down his face. A couple more sloppy thrusts and Seokjin is pouring his seed inside as well. Before he can even catch his breath, Namjoon feels a firm grasp on his cock, causing him to yelp.

“T-too much! Hurts!”

“Safe word?”

He shakes his head, “No, keep going!”

Seokjin laughs, loving the painslut he has on his hands. He works the Alpha’s cock over with expert fingers, alternating between stroking the middle, swiping over the tip, and squeezing the base. Ever the gentlemen, Jin does well to not neglect the balls either— going down to cup them firmly every minute or two. His free hand grips the man’s thigh, digging his fingernails into the hybrid’s toned flesh. The pain on his thighs mixed with the pleasure on his cock forces another orgasm out of the wolf, causing white ropes to shoot all over his own stomach. Jin stands back to admire the sight—his big bad Alpha, covered in and dripping cum. After changing the sheets and a hot shower for two, the men snuggle up against each other to turn in for the night.

“I know things are hard at work. I can read you hyung.”

“I know you can baby. I just don’t want to bring my problems home. Home is for forgetting about work and focusing on my amazing hybrids.” He emphasizes with a kiss to the wolf’s temple.

“Whatever’s going on, you’ll get through it. You always do.”

“Thank you Joonie.”

“Goodnight hyung.”

“Goodnight baby.”

____

A/N: Thank y’all for being patient! My health and assignments made this part take a little while longer to post, but I hope it’s to your liking <3 Your comments and reblogs help a lot! Spoiler for Part 5: Y/n goes into heat ;)

Taglist: @osakis-gf @strawberrysweetness @yoongiigolden @welcometomyworld13 @xjiminsthighsx @btsiguess-kpop @kirakombat @iheartsvt @pb-n-juju @shabbamadapot @bxcndd @se-oul @mageprincess7

**It won’t let me tag some blogs, idk why. If you asked to be on the taglist but tumblr won’t let me tag you then I will be DMing you when each part is up!

#bts hybrid au #bts hybrid x reader #poly ot7 #ot7 x reader #hybrid jungkook #hybrid jimin #hybrid taehyung #hybrid yoongi #hybrid hoseok #hybrid namjoon #caretaker seokjin #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst

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katelynnwrites · 8 months

Text

I Think Of You (When I Think About Forever) | Felicitas Rauch

warnings: mean words

word count: 1430

summary: felicitas is your forever no matter what anyone else says

a/n: requested, part two to You Are In Love (True Love)

‘I’m so in love with you.’ Feli declares.

You giggle, ‘You’re only saying that because I’m giving you a massage.’

‘Not just that. You know it’s not only because of that.’ Your girlfriend complains.

‘I know.’ You promise, kissing the back of her neck.

Felicitas smiles and then in one swift movement, pushes you down onto the bed beside her.

She straddles you and you groan, ‘Feli.’

‘Liebling.’ She mocks and you roll your eyes.

‘I love you.’ The older woman reminds you before bringing her lips down to meet yours.

You melt and your girlfriend makes a pleased noise at the effect she has on you.

She kisses you a few more times and then pulls back just enough to breathe.

Her eyes are sparkling and you can’t help but softly whisper, ‘I never thought I would be doing this here.’

‘Doing what?’ Feli prompts.

‘Kissing the love of my life in the bedroom I grew up in.’

Felicitas laughs, ‘Want to do that again?’

Very eagerly, you pull her close by the collar of her shirt so that you can answer her question.

******

A few hours later and you have reluctantly stopped making out with your girlfriend, in favour of making yourself presentable.

Your parents had decided to host a dinner for all your extended family so that you could spend time with them.

In playing for Wolfsburg, you have missed out on a lot of family time. It bothers you sometimes but you make the trip from Germany to England as often as you can.

This time though, you’ve brought your girlfriend with you.

You pick up on Feli’s anxiety easily, your German girlfriend having changed her outfit three times already.

‘Feli you look stunning. Don’t worry, my parents love you and I’m sure that the rest of my family will too. Honestly, my love relax.’

‘Are you sure?’ She nervously asks.

‘I’m positive. Besides, you’ve already impressed the most important members of my family. Anyone after that is a bonus. Although I will give you extra credit if you get my baby nieces to like you.’

You kiss her reassuringly and after a moment, you feel her smile against your lips.

******

Felicitas proves you right.

Your grandparents welcome her with open arms and your baby nieces adore her.

They chase her around your parents’ backyard and she lets them catch her.

It’s a pile of infectious giggles that you walk up to and your youngest niece raises her arms, asking to be picked up when she sees you approaching.

You do as she asks and your sister’s daughter leans in to conspiratorially whisper, ‘Your girlfriend is cool.’

‘I know she is.’ You tell her just as seriously.

It makes Feli, who is eavesdropping on the whole conversation, laugh.

‘Want Mama now.’ She whines and you chuckle.

You glance over at Felicitas to check if she’s okay to be left alone with your other niece for a while and she nods.

So you take her over to your sister. She kicks her little legs excitedly and then thanks you sweetly when she’s back in her mother’s arms.

Your sister gives you a smile and then your niece starts telling her all about Feli and how she hopes you’re going to marry her.

You blush and excuse yourself quickly, not wanting to be teased by your older sister.

Though you do know that you share the same hope as you make your way back to Felicitas.

******

It’s a lovely night and you’re thankful for the rare chance to see your relatives.

Though your parents have invited more members of your extended family than you had expected.

You’ve seen the cousins you grew up with and the aunts who doted on you as you were doing so.

Even one of your more distant cousins, who you haven’t seen since you were twelve has shown up.

You are having a good time and from the way Feli is laughing with your mother, you think she is too.

You can’t resist going up to her and pressing a kiss against her cheek.

‘Hello liebling.’ She murmurs and you smile.

‘I’m just going to get another water from the fridge and then I’ll be right back. Do you want anything?’

You shake your head with another grin and your girlfriend kisses your forehead before leaving.

Your mother chuckles, having observed the whole interaction.

‘What Mom?’’

‘She’s so taken with you. It’s a mutual feeling I can tell.’

You flush a bright red again and your mother tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

‘To be honest I was a bit worried when you first told me about Felicitas. Now that I’ve met her and seen how in love the both of you are, I’m not at all worried. In fact, I’m so happy for the both of you.’

‘Thanks Mom.’

Feli reappears with her bottle of water then.

You pull her into your side and she instinctively reaches for your hand.

******

Something isn’t right with your girlfriend. She has always had a tendency to be on the quiet side but now she’s unusually so.

You’re worried she is overwhelmed so you take her to your room and sit down beside her. Most of your relatives have left now anyway.

‘What’s wrong love?’

Your girlfriend lets out a shaky breath.

The pair of you are long past trying to hide anything from each other so she quietly begins, ‘I overheard your distant cousin saying some things…’

‘What things?’

‘She um, she said…’

Felicitas squeezes her eyes shut tightly and then recounts what she’d unintentionally heard.

The moment is fresh in her mind.

She’s walking past the living room when she hears your cousin mention her name.

She didn’t mean to pry but she could not stop herself from listening in.

Your cousin is sitting with a few of your other relatives that you had already introduced Feli to earlier.

As Felicitas lingers outside the living room, your cousin says, ‘Look I know that it is accepted for people like my dear cousin to not be with a man now but can’t she at least find a looker? Her girlfriend looks ten years older and those eyebags she has isn’t helping. Doesn’t she sleep?’

Feli chooses not to hear anything else, quickly making her way back to you.

You swear rapidly after your girlfriend relays your cousin’s words to you.

‘I’m okay with whatever others have to say about me. That doesn’t bother me anymore but when they talk about you that way, it hurts.’ Feli barely audibly continues.

‘It has to be hurting you too liebling.’

Your girlfriend worriedly reaches for your hand and then squeezes it with concern.

She makes your heartbeat stutter with just how much love you feel for her.

Here she is, trying to check that you are okay after overhearing one of your family members making rude comments about her.

You shake your head, leaning in close to kiss her with as much reassurance as you can.

‘It doesn’t. My cousin, the one who is talking about our relationship like she knows us? She’s an idiot. She is never going to get it. You’re beautiful Feli, inside and out. You make me so happy, happier than anyone ever has. I love you and I don’t give a shit about what anyone says because I want to be with you. I want to love you like you love me. I’m proud of the love we share.’

Your girlfriend tears up and nods, whispering, ‘I’m proud of the love we share too.’

‘I’m sorry you had to hear those awful things.’

‘It’s alright. Like you said, she doesn’t know either of us and she is an idiot.’

You laugh and kiss your girl lightly.

‘She moved out of the area when we were pretty young but before that, I used to practice my slide tackles on her. That’s probably why she doesn’t like me.’

Felicitas giggles and you kiss her again.

Sharing kisses with Feli will always make the butterflies in your stomach come alive, no matter how many times you do so.

‘Ich liebe dich.’ Feli murmurs and you smile.

‘I love you too.’

******

If later that night, while Feli is in the shower, you walk up to your cousin just as she’s leaving and threaten to make her life unpleasant if she ever says anything bad about your girlfriend again well, Felicitas doesn’t need to know that.

It does give you an immense sense of satisfaction as you cuddle up to sleep beside your girl though.

German Translations:

liebling - love

ich liebe dich - i love you

#posting this with one hand while i feed the kid in my lap her milk with the other 😂#feli rauch #felicitas rauch #feli rauch x reader #felicitas rauch x reader #gerwnt x reader #gerwnt imagine #dfb frauen imagine #dfb frauen x reader #vfl wolfsburg frauen x reader #vfl wolfsburg frauen imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #katelynnwrites #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader

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cultofdixon · 1 year

Text

I Found Yea, Bunny

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Never did he think he’d find anyone to love him, then when someone did. The world ended • ANGST/SFW/NSFW • TW: Canon Violence / PTSD / Anxiety Attacks / Injuries

Note

“You still moping baby brother?” Merle kicked Daryl’s leg to get him to say anything. “What? Ain’t gonna talk when you’ve convinced me to stay at this pig’s camp? Come on Darylina, you’re killing me here”

“Fuck off Merle. Ain’t you going on that run?”

“Yeah, but the second I come back. No survivors” Merle jokes for the most part as he picks up his hunting rifle. “Seriously. If you’re still moping and being a lil bitch because of Y/N you just gotta get over it. She’s gone”

Hearing that last part for probably the millionth time, only started to trigger him. She can’t be gone kept him standing.

________

“See that chick over there? The short one”

“I don’t care about your next catch of the week, Merle.” Daryl scoffs taking another sip of his beer when a waiter walks by setting now another set of beers without either of them asking. “Hey wait I ain’t—“

“Curtesy of the two lovely ladies over there” They state before taking Merle’s empty one and heading back behind the bar.

Merle instantly wraps his arm around his brother staring at the two with him seeing obviously the more confident one wave at them as the other was more shy.

“I’ll take the taller one with the nice rack, and you take the shy one” Merle whispers patting his back making Daryl choke on his beer quickly wiping at his face as the two made their way over. “Heya ladies”

“Hey yourself, mind if we join you?” The one Merle was eyeing inches closer to his person making the smirk grow on his face.

“This is going to be a disaster” Daryl whispers to himself only for the other woman to giggle to his words.

“Wanna bet who’s going to ruin it? She’s not the steadiest drunk” She whispers back smiling when one started to crack out on his face.

“Bet it’s my brother and…?”

“I’ll bet on my friend Rachael. But I will most likely win”

“And why is tha—“ Daryl stops talking when Racheal suddenly jumped Merle’s bones right then and there. Knocking off her glass and his beer resulting in the broken glass. “Shit.”

“Nights still young I guess” the woman laughs watching the two roll on the dirty bar ground making one of the bar keeps come over to smack them with the broom to get up. “Didn’t catch your name by the way…didn’t get his either but he’s busy”

“Daryl…you?”

“Y/N”

________

“Why did you…not give up? Like the others did…yeah me askin’ shouldn’t matter anymore because..” Carol still couldn’t believe the whole barn situation, let alone what happened to her daughter.

“I’ve lost enough.”

And with that Carol knew more about Daryl than anybody else. He didn’t go into the grand details about it, all that before he and Merle met the quarry group…Daryl was looking for his other half. Not giving a damn of what Merle had to say about it. They hunted, stayed alive, and searched. That was it until something secure came along.

But seeing Rick be with his family, after being separated for months…Daryl wanted that same feeling. That same joy of being reconnected with the one you love.

Now the second good thing after the CDC, the farm was up in flames as Daryl got him and Carol out of there on his bike.

________

“Hey stranger” Y/N smiles letting Daryl into her studio as he was already looking around the place.

“You took these?” Daryl points to the still of the wildlife on one of the many tables as Y/N walks up beside him smiling.

“Yeah, cool right?”

“How’d yea manage to get them to stay still?”

“You said you hunt right? With your brother?” Y/N tilts her head waiting for Daryl’s confirmation which was a nod and a grunt. “Imagine without your weapon and bright orange vests…a camera and a bit more camouflage”

“You…being careful right?”

“Oh I don’t do this in hunting grounds, or well. Forests that have been reported to have people hunt in them before.” Y/N reassures hun with her always shining smile, letting him continue to go through the photos. “I have been asked to document hunters for a catalog. Going to get a few new hunting rifles and a couple compound bows, if you and your brother are interested”

Daryl thought about it as he couldn’t help the joy bubbling in him to hang out with her again. That night at the bar lead to coffee in the morning while his brother and her best friend were still occupying Daryl’s shitty apartment, and another night for drinks but just the two of them to get to know one another without taking care of somebody other than themselves, which brought them to Y/N’s studio that she was also living in.

“Yeah, why not”

Y/N squeals happily and hugging on Daryl as he instantly wrapped his arm around her. “You’re going to look great”

“Maybe bring Racheal to occupy Merle”

“Oh totally, or nothing will get done”

________

Daryl lays uncomfortably on the rocks after rolling down it from when the horse bucked him off and from using what little energy he had to try and scale the steep mountain to get back to the farm. He was in and out of consciousness when he perked up hearing her laugh.

“You’ve got yourself in a pickle, baby” Y/N knelt down beside Daryl’s body gently caressing his face. “Did Merle do this?”

“Nah baby….H-Horse…”

“Now you never learn from that one time, and you weren’t even the one bucked off that horse” She laughs and he couldn’t help the painful smile he wore listening to her. He was willing to die just listening. But he couldn’t. “Stay awake D. Once you find that sweet girl, you gotta find me.”

And with that. He did his best. His best got him back to the farm, walker looking and all, next thing you know.

Fire

Thud

Pain. A whole lot of fucking pain.

Once they questioned Daryl about what he found and Hershel having his priorities confirmed, he was finally left alone to recover in the safety of the house. Letting him get some much needed sleep.

________

Daryl watches her sleep peacefully beside him listening to her cute little snores and watching her curl up inching closer to his person. He couldn’t help himself by closing the space and gently wrapping his arm around her sleep form feeling her do the same pulling herself into his chest. He smiles listening her satisfied sigh when she finally got comfortable in his embrace.

“Stop watching me and sleep…” Y/N mumbles in a sleepy daze, smiling feeling him shift to cage her in his embrace. “Goodnight baby”

“Sweet dreams bunny”

________

He couldn’t help the tears that spilled waking up the next morning.

•

The prison became their home after they lost so much and fought for their safety.

Daryl wishes that the bus of Woodbury folk held his other half in it. But as he came to disappointment once again, he went back to it. Taking daily runs just to search for her and would always come back empty handed on that front. At least he doesn’t have to watch his found family starve or freeze to death given he’s been bringing back everything he could find. Feeling a little bit of joy in their happy faces when his runs were never focused on that to begin with. But just as important.

“Hey Daryl, hold up a sec” Glenn calls out to him right as Carl and Rick were about to open the gates for him.

“Need somethin’?”

“Yes and no…” He sighs. “We need to save up on gas for the run to that mega store. Don’t get me wrong, what you’re doing is helpful. But we really need to be more careful with our limited supplies”

Daryl knew he was using the supply they’ve had to do these runs and it was going to be brought up eventually. Guess his spontaneous runs at any hour, every day, have come to an end.

“Hey pookie” Carol smiles, enjoying the fact that that nickname annoys Daryl, watching him sit down beside her at one of the tables outside. “Couldn’t go on the run?”

“Got told not to. It’s whatever”

“Mmm. Is it though?” Carol nudges Daryl for more of what’s on his mind. More of why he does these runs. “You’ve always been looking for something and every time you come back with much needed supplies…but the look of disappointment rest in your eyes. Daryl what are you looking for out there?”

Carol is one of the few that Daryl trusts with his life and part of him didn’t want to talk about it. Or it brings the thought of loss back in his mind. The same thought that has him laying wide awake at night or waking to the anxiety inducing nightmare that his other half was ripped apart from the undead and or tortured by the monsters of men that litter the new world. But he couldn’t keep it a secret for much longer…

“My girl”

________

“Hey! You made it” Y/N smiles removing herself from the small group surrounding one of her photos displayed so that Daryl could happily bring her into his embrace. “Surprised Merle released you from whatever devilish act he had planned”

“A six pack did it”

“Figures” Y/N smiles parting from Daryl just enough to take his hand and walk with him through the whole exhibit. It was more than her art on display but Daryl could care less about the rest. Only hers was the best.

Daryl waited for the showcase to be over and he hung back to help take down what wasn’t sold of Y/N’s work. But also for him to have a more intimate moment with her.

“I’ve got somethin’”

“Yeah?”

“And I don’t wanna scare yea off, or think I’m moving too quick” Daryl sets down the once hanging piece to lean up against the wall before reaching into his pocket to take out a ring. Y/N was about to drop the pieces she was holding if Daryl didn’t explain himself right away. “It ain’t engagement. Even if I’m sure yer it for me, more a promise. Until the real deal”

“D, this isnt like…the blood money from Merle—-“

“Nah I stopped doing his crazy shit a bit ago. Have been doing commission for bikes and got a gig at a garage…you’ve…made me better and just wanted to do somethin’. Showed me love without consequence or pain…I just. Gotta know—-“

“I love you” Y/N cuts him off, setting everything in her hand down so that she could let him put the ring on her finger before taking his face gently in her hands. “You don’t have to say it back immedieatly. Timing is different for everyone…but I love you, and I know I want you in my life for the rest of it. Even after”

Daryl instantly pulled her flush against him feeling her arms find their spot around his neck as his around her waist. Taking in everything about her in that moment.

She was his other half

________

And he was hers

“Aaron, I don’t think these people will take our offering like it’s nothing. It just randomly appears”

“What do you suggest then?”

“We’re talking suggestions now?”

“Yeah, cuz Deanna saw potential with you in recruitment so thought I’d ask” Aaron whispers to Y/N beside him as the two were tracking a group for some time now.

“Our community isn’t the only one. That’s the feeling I get. These people, we don’t know if they got screwed over or not. They will be hostile and we can’t take that like it’s nothing”

“So…give up or what”

“I didn’t say that. Just if we get caught. Or Eric. Stand your ground but not with your weapon.” She frowns not liking the sound of the commotion coming from this group she couldn’t get a clear look of. “We need these people to trust us. And the element of surprise, is awful in this hell” she takes the binoculars from Aaron to get a look but were caught off guard by a walker approaching that he took care of. “Never was much a fan of surprises in the old world…”

“Didn’t you say your husband surprised you with that ring you’re wearing?”

“Yeah but that’s different”

“How so?”

“He was my other half” Y/N stored the binoculars in her back when the rain started. “We should head back to Eric, and discuss our next course of action”

“I agree with that notion” Aaron covered her back as they made their way to the cars they brought out from their community.

________

“One of my buyers, thought I got married because of my ring” Y/N fiddles with one of Daryl’s many wrenches from his work station in her garage as he was working on her car.

“What’d yea say?”

“Played along. I like the thought of you as my husband. My big strong protective sweetheart husband” She smiles watching the tips of Daryl’s ears turn a bright red when he said such as he tried to cover them for a moment.

“Told the guys at the garage yer my wife anyway”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, so they know if they fuck with yea. I’m knocking their teeth in” Daryl held his hand out for her to place the wrench she was messing with in such.

“But they can get the hint just from girlfriend”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the idea”

“Is that you asking me Daryl Dixon?”

“Yea want it to be?” He stops working to look at his girl who became a blushing mess at the thought, especially when he smirked at her knowing damn well she’d like that.

“I’d like some display. Nothing too public. Just us still” Y/N smiles spreading her legs from her seat on his bench for him to slot himself perfectly between them. Leaning into her, resting his hands on the table. “What?”

“I’ve got somethin’ but for now, yer my wife to everybody who asks”

“Unless it’s Merle and Racheal”

“Motherfuckers would be like “took yea long enough” let’s be real”

“Very true Dixon” She smiles pressing her lips against his shortly after as he quickly picks her up holding her up by the thighs. “Baby!”

“Think I need a break with my bunny” He smirks kissing her once more before carrying her inside.

________

“I’m not alone”

“Really now?” Rick glares into Aaron’s soul as he quickly drops everything in his person to avoid getting hurt even further if that was bound to happening. “Who else is with you?”

“My partner and my best friend. Except my friend is closer to this location”

“And y’all didn’t find her?” Rick questions Maggie and Sasha as the two looked at each other confused before watching the retired sheriff take Aaron by the collar. “Where the fuck is she?”

“Her husband was a t-tracker. Hunter—-she knows how to hide. Says it’s what saved her from outbreak day to now” Aaron was close to shaking but what he said perked the attention of the archer who stopped aiming his crossbow at him. “I can call her but you have to let go of me…”

“Rick” Daryl interrupts whatever thought he was having about such as Rick gave him a confused look. “Trust it. Let him. Now.”

The confused look stuck as he lets go of Aaron for him to reach into his bag keeping eye contact with Rick as he took his radio out.

“Dixon, come out.”

The name caused the group to look at Daryl confused but then suddenly ready their weapons to the ceiling of the barn when they heard a loud thud, then a roll, and finally footsteps outside the building. Daryl brought himself past Aaron to the door when they opened to reveal exactly who he’s been looking for.

“I told him he was only going to trigger y’all too—-“ Y/N stops speaking when she locked eyes with Daryl who hesitantly inched closer to her.

Daryl couldn’t help the overwhelming urge to grab her and pull her into his embrace as he brought himself right up to her.

“So, Dixon huh?”

“Like you’d want my last name…” Y/N tried, and failed to keep the tears from falling as she drops everything on her latching onto Daryl feeling his arms tighten firmly around her. “Hey baby”

“I found yea, bunny. I knew I would”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

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