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not-sure-what-im-feeling · 9 months

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Sanders Sides as things I've said/heard

all of these are sourced from me. feel free to use them yourself for other characters and such, but i ask that you tag me in it. sorry for how long this is

Remus: continuously poking Roman

Roman: OH MY GOD STOP TOUCHING ME

Logan: Oh! did you know that—from a microscopic level—you can’t actually touch someone? Atoms don’t touch.

Patton: But they aren’t named Adam? That’s Roman and Remus!

Logan: scientific fuming

<<•>>

Janus: about something that has nothing to do with Christianity Read the fucking Bible!

<<•>>

Logan: While we’re reading this book, what are your impressions about this character?

Patton: I think he was in jail or involved in something illegal.

Logan: Good, now, why something illegal?

Patton: Well, most people in jail are involved in something illegal

<<•>>

Virgil: I need help? Yeah, when I’m dead. When they’re putting my body in… the carcass box…

<<•>>

Virgil: No questions, but I’m not sure how long I can keep it together before the demons get to me.

<<•>>

Remus: playing cards with the others I will peel your face off with a wire cutter!

<<•>>

Remus: making Nanaimo bars with patton Should we use the beating machine for the cream part?

<•>>

The sides are going through old junk and find a paper doll with Roman’s name on it (it looks nothing like any of them)

Virgil: Aw, it looks just like you, Roman!

Roman: That’s my choir boy you bitch!

<<•>>

Roman: probably to Logan Do you want a tumbleweed? Cause you’re really boring.

<<•>>

Playing some game like tag idk

Roman: Hey! No fair, I hurt my leg!

Virgil: Death won’t give a fuck when he reaps your soul

<<•>>

Virgil: This tastes drugged…

Remus: You already are drugged!

<<•>>

after Roman said something

Virgil (or Janus): I lost… so many brain cells

<<•>>

Logan: Why did you say smash to an arachnid?

Remus: You underestimate how amazing spiders can be

<<•>>

Remus: leans against table Wanna have gay sex?

<<•>>

They all did a “What fanfic trope are you” quiz

Virgil: I got found family?

Roman: Oh so they called you depressed and gay

<<•>>

Remus: Here’s a coin! It’s kinda soggy though…

Virgil: This is… a cucumber slice

Remus: Yeah! (:

<<•>>

Remus: Ugh, people have common sense and it’s annoying

<<•>>

Remus: Say goodbye to your toes!

<<•>>

Remus: Who wants to be reliable when you can be [jazz hands] inconsistent!

<<•>>

Roman: What’s your aesthetic?

Patton: Cartoons!

Virgil: Purple

Remus: Actually, rock

<<•>>

Virgil: I want to die holding a spider

<<•>>

Roman: You punch me a lot…

Virgil: Only when you anger me!

Roman: What about when we played slapjack and you lost?

Virgil: That angered me!

<<•>>

Remus: Mother and father issues? You’ve gotta be kidding!

Virgil: Wow, okay, don’t just call me out

<<•>>

watches a video about a baby race

Janus: It’s all just a metaphor for society…

#sanders sides #incorrect sanders sides #ts roman #ts remus #ts logan #ts patton #ts janus #ts virgil #all of these are verbatim what i heard/said or as close as i could get #my friends and i are weird as shit but i love us #i still have more so i might do a part two of sorts #have a lovely day y'all!

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belle--ofthebrawl · 6 months

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4, 9 and 13 for the thing!!

4. A past fandom you look back on in embarrassment?

I enjoyed it at the time, but seeing what it's become now, all the horror stories I hear about other people (the infamous sharpie bath incident, anyone?) I don't tell people I liked Homestuck back in the day. Guilt by association, you know? My craziness only went so far as wearing my quiz-assigned classpect shirt in public, thankfully. (Knight of Space, thank you very much.) ( And the same for Undertale, you listen to Battle Against A True Hero and tell me that doesn't go hard as hell, this list goes on-)

9. A book you plan to never read?

I could sarcastically say The Bible and be done but I'm going into detail.

You know...I'm not sure there's one I'm consciously deciding to never read. I usually try to give books a chance and have no qualms tossing a boring book into the donation bin. I have authors and genres I tend to avoid but not one in particular that I hands down will not read.

This is coming from someone who enjoys splatterpunk/extreme horror so, uh. That's something. I have lines when it comes to that genre as well but for the most part I've been horrifically enthralled by what I've found there. Like watching a damn car crash.

13. If you could have any feature of a fantasy creature, what would you choose?

I want to be a selkie.

Sexy fur coat.

#thank you miasma 🩵

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lboogie1906 · 1 year

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“I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27 NIV “Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you. And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved; for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there will be deliverance, as the Lord has said, even among the survivors whom the Lord calls.” Joel 2:12, 25, 32 NIV “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” 2 Timothy 2:15-16 NIV God has created everything that you will ever encounter, He knows the answer to every question you will ever ask. He is the great I am. He is a true miracle worker. So why not trust him with your life, your dreams, and your hopes? God wants to be your number 1, he is already your Day 1, return to God and he will restore you to your designed purpose. Make God the true architect of your life. Today put God on your to-do list, as the number 1 priority. Seek God. Study the Word of God for yourself. Godly living is a test, not a quiz, stop preparing for sections or using cheat sheets. Read the whole Bible so you know the history. There are many "experts" on parts of the Bible but few scholars of the whole Bible. Avoid sectionalists, their research is sketchy and subjective. Do not take just one scripture, read before and after. Ask God to reveal His truth and increase your knowledge. When you know better you do better. Seek God FIRST, study His Word, pray, praise, worship, repent, listen, celebrate, meditate, observe, believe, ask, surrender, fellowship, forgive, give, and be grateful and obedient. https://www.instagram.com/p/Co2N1sdrJIj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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captainexplody · 1 year

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Bible Adventures

Paul Peterson sits down at a table in a bar with his two chums, Jenson Benson and Gutbuster McQueen. Paul is carrying a little box with him as the other two eye him suspiciously.

Jenson Benson: What’s with the box right there?

Paul Peterson: It’s Bible Adventures!

Both Jenson Benson and Gutbuster McQueen light up, and high five each other in a mildly awkward manner, but its fine because nobody is watching them anyway. Would be weird if someone was sat watching these three men drinking pints in the corner of a pub, wouldn’t it? Be even weirder if someone was watching them carefully and then wrote down exactly what happened to them in a short story or whatever, and then put that on the internet. Yep, sure would be weird. Anyway on with the story.

Jenson Benson: Wow, Bible Adventures?! Is that the quiz-based board game where you have to answer Bible related questions in order to advance through the story?

Paul Peterson pulls out some game pieces and some cards from the box.

Paul Peterson: It sure is! It’s like you memorised the back of the box or something. Anyway so yeah we each pick a character and every time we get a Bible question right we advance up through this little map here.

Paul Peterson spreads the map down across the table as the others move their pints out of the way, in order to accommodate the big map playing board thing.

Gutbuster McQueen: This sounds awesome! I know everything about the Bible, go ahead. Ask me anything. Go on, ask.

Paul Peterson: Let me set up the game real quick and then we can start.

Gutbuster McQueen: No, ask me some questions now. Go on, ask me some questions. This isn’t part of the game yet, just pick up some of those cards and ask me a few Bible trivia questions now real quick. Just so I can prove that I know loads about the Bible. Go on.

Paul Peterson and Jenson Benson give each other the look, you know the look, it’s the look people give each other whenever something happens. Gutbuster McQueen doesn’t look as if he’s going to give up on asking them to ask them questions before the game starts though, so Paul Peterson picks up the pile of trivia cards and flips through them.

Paul Peterson: Alright alright, I can ask you a few things. Ok here’s a good one, in which book did Delilah cut Samson’s hair?

Gutbuster McQueen: Oh that’s easy, that was in season 3.

Paul Peterson: ... No I don’t think that’s correct. It was in Judges.

Gutbuster McQueen: Damn it, I was pretty sure I had it. Ok ask me another one.

Paul Peterson: Alrighty, how about this. Who rides upon the pale horse of the four horsemen of the apocalypse?

Gutbuster McQueen: Aha! I know that! Most people think it’s Krang but it isn’t! It’s Lord Dregg, he was the antagonist of the last few seasons of the Bible!

There is a short silence as Paul and Jenson look at each other.

Jenson Benson: Are you thinking of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Gutbuster McQueen stares blankly into space as you can see the cogs in his head turning, before he bops himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand.

Gutbuster McQueen: OH! Ohhhhhhh! Oh yeah, I’m sorry. That’s right, I always get those two confused.

Jenson Benson: ... You always get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and... the Bible... confused?

Gutbuster McQueen: Yeah I’m always mixing those two up. Probably happens to you guys too, yeah?

Jenson Benson: No. Not at all.

Paul Peterson: Not even once.

Gutbuster McQueen: Really? Huh. I thought it was a pretty common thing. Anyway, who wants another round?

Gutbuster McQueen gets up to go and get everyone some more pints, as Paul and Jenson look at each other again, wondering how they ever got there to begin with. They got there because I wrote it, I made it happen. I’m a magic man.

#52StoriesThisYear #heres number 4 i think #short story #flash fiction #bible adventures #bible #biblically accurate #scribbles

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sims-freeplay-cheats-20222o · 2 years

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help-im-a-medstudent · 3 years

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Resources that got me through (UK) med school

Hello everyone! As we are at the start of a new year, I’ve collated this list of online resources/apps that saved me during my revision at various points of med school. I’ll put the links and why I think they are good. These are UK-based resources as I often found when I searched things that US stuff came to the top of the list and that wasn’t always helpful for learning management because guidelines etc differ.

1. TeachMe Series

These are developing all the time and they have added Obs and Gynae, Paeds and Physiology which are new and I haven’t used. They are kept up to date and written by current health care professionals, and edited to ensure they are correct. The topics have really good diagrams, clinical relevance and key points.

a) TeachMe Anatomy

When: Preclinical years

Pros: colour-coordinated diagrams, each topic has a clear structure, including vasculature, nerves etc. Clinically relevant links

Cons: detail can be a little overwhelming, I would use this to make notes that I then revised from (definitely not for last minute revision!)

b) TeachMe Surgery

When: Clinical years - especially final year when we had a specific surgery placement

Pros: there are two ways you can approach things - by presentation or by diagnosis which really helped me for linking differentials. Also it has topics on the practicalities of surgery and perioperative care which I will probably continue to use as reminders for my surgical job next year

Cons: If you need to know exactly how a surgery works it might not go into specific details about the operation, but it is aimed at med students and we didn’t really need to know that. Also, it is kept up to date but check the date the topic was written and consider triangulating sources for management because guidelines change

2. Geeky Medics

These are again all topics written by healthcare professionals then edited. They have a wide range of topics but are less focused on conditions like diagnosis and management and more about practical OSCE guides or how to be a doctor, with videos and checklists. It also has an app but you have to pay for it.

When: Throughout medical school (and beyond!), particularly for practical or data interpretation exams (I go back to their interpreting LFTs and also death verification and certification posts a lot)

Pros: good for demonstrating how to do various examinations and for revision because you can test other people and use a checklist. Also have lots of free quiz questions on geekyquiz and also loads of cases to take histories from each other without having to make it up yourself

Cons: not comprehensive when it comes to revising, and the search function i find can be a little...erratic with what it shows you.

3. BNF

There are two places you can find the BNF - NICE or Medicines Complete. There’s the same information on both, try them out and see which you like better in terms of layout. Also download the app, because the interactions checker is a lot quicker to use than on the web.

When: whenever you’re learning about management of conditions and in the run up to the PSA you’re going to need to be very familiar with this website, so may as well start early (and you will carry on using it beyond med school)

Pros: The treatment summaries are up to date and based on NICE guidelines so are UK specific. I liked to refer to them in revision because it’s a good single reference point when doctors give you conflicting treatment ‘preferences’. The pages for the drugs are set out in a uniform format and it’s really easy to find the information you need.

Cons: the website is not always great for the pharmacology of drugs/saying which class a drug is part of. The treatment summaries are wordy and you have to sift through them sometimes, so not for last minute revision.

4. Almostadoctor

Again articles are written by doctors and then edited and ensures they are up to date. They have references at the bottom of the page for more detail but are a very good summary of conditions.

When: all through med school. Has basic clinical skills, diagnosis and management

Pros: The drugs section is very helpful for common drugs and has some simple pharmacology in there, and has flashcards for each topic if you find it helpful revising off those

Cons: tends to be split by condition rather than symptoms, there are some ways of comparing differentials for example chest pain but it makes a big table which i find confusing

5. NICE CKS

Oh boy is this site my saviour in GP, but I did use it in final year for some core conditions. It has referral criteria, decisions for management but it does allow for plenty of your own clinical judgement.

When: definitely more for finals to aid your revision, but after that if you end up on a GP rotation this is like a bible.

Pros: It’s really good for reminding you of red flag symptoms to check and also gives contraindications to certain management options

Cons: Not necessarily good for telling you what examination findings to expect and the site can involve clicking on lots of links taking you to other pages and then you can’t remember which part you came from.

If anyone has any others that I’ve not mentioned feel free to add! sorry for the long post, but I hope these are helpful and good luck everyone starting a new year of med school!

#med student #med school #medblr #uk medblr #medicine #revision #revision tips #med school resources #med school tips #medicine reference

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emmys-grimoire · 3 years

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Lesson 52 - Bittersweet Pseudo-Memories

It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was good for what it was?

When we last left our heroes, they were having their intimate moment intruded upon by Big Majestic Chicken Lucifer, who demands to know who they are. You can try to evade the question, but he continues to be an asshole and you have to relent and continue to pretend you and ‘Sully’ are angels. Lucifer pretends to believe you and proceeds to make you do his chores.

Lucifer proceeds to complain about Raphael dumping all his work onto him and Satan implies that Lucifer is letting the other angel bully him... and he’s not actually wrong. I’m not sure why Lucifer just couldn’t say “no” -- it’s not like he isn’t willing to in other contexts.

But Satan also can’t help himself, and it’s very clear early on that Lucifer knows he isn’t an angel. We are escorted to the library to sort books.

NEEEEEEEERD. Satan is a natural librarian, of course.

Lucifer continues to opine about his situation and Satan continues to needle him about it. There’s a cute moment when Lucifer admits there are few angels he can turn to for help or advice, and by contrast he feels Satan might be worth confiding in because he’s a fellow level-headed intellectual.

D’aaaaw. My only complaint is that he doesn’t really do this in the story; it’s only now being brought up for a bonding opportunity. The most we get is acknowledgement that Lucifer has a high opinion of Satan’s wealth of knowledge and expertise... he hasn’t really taken advantage of it.

It could be because the Avatar of Pride doesn’t feel he needs advice from anyone else.

The book comes up again, but...

It’s used as a trap to capture ‘Sully’ and reveal he is what Lucifer suspected he was: a demon.

Yeah I did but the game insists I be an unobservant moron for the plot to continue.

In my lesson 51 analysis I theorized the numbers in the title of the mysterious book related to a particular Bible verse meant to encourage believers to keep their faith, and while I can’t be 100% sure that’s what it was meant to allude to, this exchange seems to suggest it could have been. This arc is meant to instill Satan with more faith in Lucifer, because he’s constantly doubting his intent throughout this lesson.

But we discover that Lucifer has changed from who he was before we startled meddling in time travel dreams, by his own admission. You can probably make a good guess to who is responsible for that change (it’s actually not MC, though, believe it or not!).

Yep, it’s Diavolo.

Diavolo doesn’t act the way Lucifer expected a demon to behave and it’s confusing him.

But he likes him, and he has had some time to digest that. Glory Days Lucifer would never have admitted this to anyone, let alone strangers.

D’aaaaw.

Lucifer then turns his attention towards MC and asks about what they are. If you’re truthful, you get this interesting tidbit of information:

Michael has been scoping out Solomon before the Great Celestial War. Whatever for, I wonder? I don’t think angels offer pacts, and I suspect Solomon was a bit of a troublemaker even before he was given Michael’s ring.

My guess? Michael is Solomon’s guardian angel. It is probably the closest equivalent to forging a pact that angels have.

Yeah... I just told you I was a human lol.

A HUMAN.

(Nah I know it’s pretty obvious that we’re SPECIAL, at this point.)

Lucifer takes us to Simeon and the brothers, who are gathered in presumably Michael’s observatory-to-be. Lucifer decides to hi-jack Michael’s fun and steals the first chance to see the human world’s night sky for himself and his family. It is projected onto the walls of the room.

You can suggest Michael might be mad, and Lucifer makes it clear he gives no fucks.

The other option makes him explain he believes he’s owed this because Michael keeps making him go to the Devildom and never volunteers himself lol

The brothers marvel at the spectacle, and they wonder about the stories behind each constellation. Mammon suggests Michael likely knows all about them, and Satan proceeds to nerd out again AND POTENTIALLY STEALS THAT MEMORY by making himself the one who teaches his brothers about the stars.

But, it’s Satan’s at his best, and he enjoys it thoroughly.

You and the brothers eventually doze off, and Satan wakes you up to share some private reflections.

Cute.

You realize Lucifer and Simeon are nowhere to be found, and run off to go see what they’re up to. They’re having a private moment of their own.

Simeon’s happy but sad. :(

Yeah. I’ll have more to say about this particular moment in my analysis post. There’s a noteworthy parallel at play here.

Ruh roh. I think Simeon and Michael may have suspected Diavolo played a part in pushing Lucifer away from the Celestial Realm. If given the opportunity, I sense Simeon may have tried to talk him out of this doubt.

But he isn’t given the opportunity! We pass out and the screen goes black, accompanied by some creepy heartbeats. When we come to, we’re back in reality and in the care of Luke and Mammon.

Wow you guys had an exciting time being shoved offscreen didn’t you?

They puzzle over what transpired and Luke and Mammon confess they don’t remember anything of what happened after they stepped into the fake House of Lamentation.

Furthermore...

I was correct in my theory that it was an illusion, but it seems it was the work of regular ol’ fairies and not some creepy banshee. That was a red herring, apparently. It’s even more anti-climatic than expected.

Additionally, Satan unknowingly covered himself in fairy crack before he dropped in.

My question is: how the fuck does Simeon know all this? Did he hang out with fairies once upon a time?

They decide to give up the hunt for the fairy ring and return home.

NOOOO THEY MADE LUKE CRY

If it were up to me I would have gone back and punched some fairies into submission until they forked over the ring, Luke. I’m sorry!

Of course, there’s not enough sleeper cars now that Simeon and Satan unexpectedly joined the party. Guess what they proceed to fight over!

You flex your pacts to make Mammon and Satan stop squabbling.

Are we sure Lucifer and Michael are the only angel sadists?

Simeon takes an unusual amount of delight in the suffering or discomfort of others lol

I think he’s just much better at hiding it.

Either way, it’s obvious he’s bothered by something, and after some deflection and prying he finally fesses up.

Michael and Simeon want them back BAD.

We finally get our first opportunity to get all sappy with Simeon here.

Well I was right about which trial this was supposed to be, at least!

Luke and Mammon are on the roof squabbling about constellations again.

You’re treated to a mini-quiz about them. Have Google at the ready.

You find out there’s a constellation involving the seven brothers in the Celestial Realm, that was created (or at least named) after they fell.

They begin to theorize what the other three stars may represent. Mammon thinks it’s Michael and the stars represent his face.

Satan chimes in with a much better take.

I think Satan’s mostly right, but the stars represent Diavolo/Michael/MC specifically: the three “guardians” of their respective realms, all of whom have deep connections with the brothers.

Solomon can also count as a guardian, but I don’t feel he has the same connection with the brothers that those three have.

And it turns out this was two trials!

I completely forgot that generosity and gratitude were two of the virtues Solomon listed, so it’s not a complete copy of the seven virtues. But hey, it’s now four down and three to go!

We have eight more lessons to complete the remaining three, so we have plenty of time. But... what about the overarching plot? I was certain that something in this arc would finally jumpstart it, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

But... maybe there was something hiding in there? I’ll go over the more important bits in my analysis post.

There’s still plenty of lore they haven’t covered re: the Celestial Realm and most of it has just been fluff. Satan’s creation remains a mystery: so far we’ve learned the Seraphim are assholes and Lucifer is overworked, but the latter is nothing new and I highly doubt that inspires enough visceral rage to make Lucifer absolutely hate his dad. We don’t know how the war unfolded and we don’t know why Simeon was demoted from his post. How things went is a big determining factor in trying to deduce Michael’s part in everything, and what he’s currently planning.

I’m hoping they get around to all the juicy bits, but I don’t know...

#obey me #obey me!#obey me lucifer #obey me simeon #obey me satan #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me spoilers #obey me lesson 52 #commentary

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study-with-aura · 1 month

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Tuesday, March 19, 2024

My mom got me a bunny! I named her Sherbet because she sort of reminds me of sherbet. I went through several names however. At first it was Bun-Bun and then Hop-Hop and then BeBe and then Poppy, and then I think I finally settled on Sherbet. I will let you know if I change my mind again. Isn't she cute though?

The study day went by quickly. I didn't need my full four hours, so I added in a supplement for Biology since we're on the evolution unit right now. My curriculum is mostly a creationist perspective, although it touches on evolution and natural selection, so I found this docuseries called Life on Our Planet which dives deeper into evolution. I don't need my parents permission to watch the docuseries since they give me a lot of freedom around things like that, but I still let them know I was going to. Apparently my dad has already seen it, and he thought I would enjoy it. That was a surprise to me that he had watched it. The first episode was suspenseful, but I am looking forward to watching more. I will have to build it into my study day somehow. I think it has 10 episodes, all a little under an hour long.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Learned to construct perpendicular bisectors and angle bisectors + practice + practice with proofs involving segments and angles + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 21 vocabulary + read chapter 39 of Emma by Jane Austen

Spanish 2 - Vocabulary test (100%)

Bible I - Read Judges 12-13

World History - Read second part of the introduction to the unit + read about Albert Einstein + read about Pablo Picasso + viewed some of Picasso's artwork

Biology with Lab - Read and watched videos on the functionality of life from a creationist perspective

Foundations - Read the definition of self-control + completed next quiz on Read Theory + read an article about propaganda in schools

Piano - 60-minute piano lesson + practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - None today

CLEP - None today

Streaming - Watched episode 1 of Life on Our Planet (evolutionist perspective)

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 177-226 of House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A. Craig

Chores - Laundry

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Colossians 3)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful that my parents agree and encourage me to study the beginnings of life from creationist and evolutionist perspectives instead of only creationism.

Quote of the Day:

Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction.

-Pablo Picasso

🎧Suite in B minor for piano, op. 58 - Charles-Marie Widor

#study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study community #study-with-aura

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feelingofcontent · 3 years

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DNP Rewatch: Near-Death Experience

Date video was published: 06/04/2012 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 130

The original eclipse t-shirt!

0:11 - “cold beer hot women” t-shirt AND pants falling all the way down...what a combo, lol

0:13 - well that’s terrifying and dramatic

0:35 - I really hope the setting-a-Bible on fire story is true...how does a 6-year-old even set anything on fire?! (Later he mentions a fireplace...oh dear.)

0:52 - “he’s just messing with me” mood

1:01 - I wonder where these outside parts were filmed (and who’s car they borrowed). Definitely seems too green for downtown Manchester and I don’t think either of them had a car at this point. Maybe at Phil’s parents’ house? Phil was there at least on 6/4 but if that’s the case, Dan turned around the editing on this fast!

1:12 - this whole skit is too accurate, lol. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!

1:38 - super dramatic

1:47 - I know in some live show Phil was asked what his favorite Dan video was and he said this one, but described it as - “the one where he gets hit by a car” LMAO 😂

1:54 - the choking on a boiled sweet story comes back up as a question on the gaming channel in BEST FRIEND QUIZ #2 - Dragon City Edition! and Phil gets it right!

1:56 - this is quite the list...yikes

2:06 - the motorbike one is the most horrifying one to me 🙁

2:14 - dramatic dark lighting

2:18 - the contrast between “a couple months ago” which would be like April and “a cold dark winter’s night”...ummm?

2:42 - why would you get anywhere CLOSE to that performer?!

3:36 - the sarcasm here, haha

4:04 - self-aware Dan; he really does do the “after video bit” almost every time

4:15 - yikes the YouTube fail with subscribers being removed randomly

4:58 - yeah, can’t tell who’s actually driving the car. Poor Phil, lol

A classic Reasons-Why-Dan’s-A-Fail video from the 2012 era.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell #daniel howell videos #Near-Death Experience

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jaiofalltrades · 2 years

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it was actually this post about jesus and judas that reminded me of my obsession w bible lore in sixth grade in the queer non christian way dude-- judas is actually one of my favorite apostles and overall characters in the bible for being so realistic and flawed along with st michael, mary and joseph, m magdalene peter and paul (not for the christian part it's bc he participated in the persecution of jesus previously but we'll get into that in another ask) actually i would tag all the bible asks (pls do so!) bc i like reading my own asks (yea i'm *that* person but it's because i want to know what ive talked about and what i haven't said? also, i will try to cover all apostles to help you get ideas for that quiz you wanted to make hypothetically + i love rambling!!!)

there's many parallels between judas and peter actually. both apostles, both get a new name, they betray jesus and regret it later. one dies, one keeps living (i'll elaborate on peter later). the pure regret, perhaps even self hatred judas feels for himself leads him to hang himself. i would say that he cannot live without jesus. he thought he could betray him. he thought he wanted this he thought he would be happy but he's miserable. he ate with him and walked with him. followed him and jesus entrusted him with their moneybag. what's this? what's this? did he put his trust on him? only to be betrayed by judas in the end? and he left the table after jesus said he would betray him. he left him and he kissed his lips so they would take him away. nothing would change what he had done. the money mattered nothing to him, for living without jesus was meaningless.

there's also theories about judas' betrayal. some even say that jesus told judas to betray him (look up judas' gospel, non canonical but still valid for me bc the church rejects it) how tragic is that, for someone you love to ask you to kill them, in order to save everyone else, to be sacrificial lambs, the both of you, him, who you love so much, he's going to suffer so much, but you love him and you will do anything for him. if these theories were correct, would judas have killed himself in order to not be questioned by the authorities further? or is it still repentance for killing his best friend?

my mother and honestly a lot of people believe that he had a lot of paths which is uhh. contradictory. it was written that he was going to betray him. jesus chose him to betray him he was as trapped as jesus was. they were both sacrificial lambs. at least to me they were? i hc that it was written and hence he couldn't have done anything, it's more compelling that way, not mattter what he did, no matter how much he had loved jesus, he couldn't help hating him as well because it was written and oh god, he was going to betray him he knew he was planning to do it he's going to call the authorities and there's nothing he could do. no one he could have talked to about these thoughts and probably the first one to know about written fate.

but that's just me. human error is just as interesting. how human judas is. how he did all of it for money and how much he regretted it later? any of us could be judas, as much as people love to hate him and judge him, we all have judas inside of us, greed, betrayal. it's so human. not to that degree of course, but yes, we are all so deeply flawed i can't help but pity him. that's my take on judas! i added parallels with jesus too now that i'm rereading this--

i feel like im unlocking new forbidden christian knowledge i never knew there was so much judas lore i-

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cptsdstudyblr · 3 years

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Cults & Religious Abuse PART 2: So you’re in a cult?

If you don’t want to see this series, you can block #cptsdstudyblrreligion

tw// cults, religion, religious abuse, religious trauma, mentions of other types of abuse

PART 1: Q & A

In this post I will be speaking somewhat specifically about my experiences that led to religious trauma, so please be cautious when reading this post. The tips and resources are at the bottom and are bullet points, so feel free to skip to there if you aren’t comfy with the post itself.

Maybe you were raised in a religion, maybe you or your family joined a religion later in your life, or maybe you’ve gotten involved in a cult in some other way. But one day you wake up and you realize that you need to get out. But how? In this I’ll be sharing the basics of my experiences in a cult-like fundamentalist religion, how I got out, and some resources I think are helpful for people in similar situations.

Before I get into the details, I want to make one thing clear: I am not a woman. I am non-binary. However, I was raised a woman and that was a huge part of the way these experiences affected me, so I will be including that perspective in this post.

I also want to make it clear that I am not against religion in general or against people practicing religion. This post is not intended to attack religion as a concept, but to shed light on specific extremely harmful religious practices.

My family’s relationship with religion is on the complicated side, but I’ll briefly explain it for context. Both of my parents were raised fairly generically Catholic. My grandparents on my dad’s side are now loosely Catholic, but don’t explicitly practice religion. My grandmother on my mom’s side has since converted to protestant Christianity at my mom’s suggestion. My dad has been either apathetic or even hostile towards religion for as long as I can remember and rarely attended church with me and my mom, but my mom has always been religious. These are the primary influences in my life, as I’m not close enough to any other family members for their religious beliefs to have had significant impact on me.

My mom is where it gets complicated. Although she was raised Catholic, she explored protestant Christianity starting a few years before my birth and quickly converted. For most of my actual childhood my mom was a pretty average protestant Christian. We moved a lot, so we attended churches in a variety of denominations, including several more charismatic and prosperity-gospel based megachurches, but when I was around 9 years old, my mom fell down a rabbit hole of Messianic Christianity through one of these churches, which I believe is where it all started to fall apart. Just to clarify, although this group of beliefs is technically referred to as Messianic Judaism, I refer to my experience with it as Messianic Christianity as I am in no way Jewish (and thus feel uncomfortable calling my religious experiences Judaism) and the messianic movement is harmful to actual Jewish people.

This move into Messianic Christianity pushed my mom to start rereading and reinterpreting the Bible and she consequently decided that she was not enamored with the teachings of the church we attended at the time. I strongly believe that her understanding of that study was also heavily influenced by the domestic violence and instability going on in our home at the time, as she was unable to connect to the overwhelmingly positive messages that our church preached. So, she moved us to another church. This was a church we had attended some in the past while trying to find a home church after a move, but hadn’t really stuck with, so it wasn’t an entirely new church. Because of this, I generally say that I attended this church from the age of 9 although we did not attend this church consistently until I was around 11. This church was a nondenominational Bible church closely associated with Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, CA, which is pastored by John MacArthur. I’d encourage you to take a look at the basic teachings of John MacArthur and of this church in some depth as they are already quite problematic. The linked article is really just one example of the kind of teachings that are prevalent here, and I’d encourage you to follow this rabbit hole as far as it takes you because it’s fascinating.

The church that we moved to was extremely fundamentalist. Unfortunately, I’m not comfortable linking the actual church for fear of doxxing myself, but the teachings of this church are pretty much exactly in line with those Grace Community Church and the other organizations I will mention soon. This church also unofficially followed the teachings of the Institute for Basic Life Principles (IBLP). When I say unofficially, I mean that my church was not publically associated with IBLP, but they were definitely associated with IBLP in reality. And again, I’d really encourage you to browse through their website to get a feel for their teachings. However, as a basic summary, if you’re familiar with the Duggar family from the TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, they are members of IBLP and everything they teach was taught fairly similarly at my church. I won’t go into the details of what the teachings were, but they were about as fundamentalist Christian as you could come up with. Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, abuse, etc. but turned up to 11/10. And it was a very closed circle. So how did I get out and end up where I am now - a bi-romantic asexual non-binary university student studying STEM at an incredibly liberal university?

It wasn’t easy. But I did get somewhat lucky. Unlike 90% of the kids at my church, I was not homeschooled after 8th grade. Instead, I went to a private Christian school - this was definitely still harmful and contributed to my trauma but it did give me opportunities to be exposed to people and ideas outside my fundamentalist Christian bubble. It also encouraged me to attend university, as it was expected of all graduates from that school. My dad wasn’t religious, and he and my mom divorced right before I graduated from high school. Additionally, my mom did encourage me to continue my education despite the teachings at our church. I’m not sure why she encouraged this, but she did. So I got lucky that things in my life pointed me in a direction of further education. And I got further lucky that the main school in my state is the school it is. It’s a school that is incredibly left-leaning and secular, and ultimately it pushed me extremely far outside my comfort zone.

I am extremely grateful for the opportunities that made it easier for me to get out of this situation, but I did still have to work for it. Here are my suggestions for surviving a cult-like environment and for eventually getting out:

Do everything you can to expose yourself to other ideas and beliefs. I assume that if you recognize you’re in this type of situation and want to escape, you already know that you disagree with the beliefs that are being forced on you at some level. But it’s important to further educate yourself where possible and figure out your beliefs. Figuring out what you believe and being committed to it is key in being able to stick to leaving your environment. If you know you disagree, but you can’t articulate why you disagree or what you believe and you aren’t committed to your beliefs, you will be very easy to convince that you are wrong and you will be very easy to manipulate.

If you’re on tumblr reading this, you probably have access to the internet, so use that to your advantage. Research things, read articles, and involve yourself in discussions. If you struggle with internet access, you can read books, magazines, and newspapers at your local library and potentially even join clubs through your library or school. Not everything you learn has to be political or about religion. Reading and learning will broaden your horizons, give you concrete interests outside religion, encourage you to learn about things that make you uncomfortable, etc.

If you are involved in a religion that has a text, read it critically and read nonreligious analyses of it. You don’t necessarily have to agree with these analyses, but thinking critically about the text you’ve been raised to take as complete fact will help you realize what you actually believe.

Find others who agree with you. In high school, I had a couple of friends at church who were “rebels” too, and we’re still friends to this day. We moved on together, and it really helped me be able to get out because I wasn’t doing it alone.

If you have to physically leave to get away, make sure you have enough money and have a backup plan. If you leave and are forced to come back for any reason, leaving again will be infinitely harder. If you leave, make sure it can be for good. It doesn’t necessarily have to be permanent, but if you come back it has to be on your own terms and not out of necessity.

Don’t get yourself kicked out and be safe no matter what.

Some resources I think are helpful:

Find an LGBT Center (US only) - LGBT centers are incredibly helpful for issues that go beyond being LGBT+, and if you’re eligible to use them they can be a great resource

The Trevor Project - LGBT+ resources and crisis lines

Tumblr post describing what to do if you’re homeless - It’s from Tumblr, so take it with a grain of salt, but it seems like pretty solid advice.

How to leave a cult - Very basic guide, but has some good advice.

Quiz to help you figure out your political beliefs (US based, but has some other countries as well) - I’d suggest taking this a few times as you develop your beliefs, and I’d also suggest clicking “more questions” as many times as possible in every category to ensure that you cover a broad range of topics.

How Ideology Colors Morality - about how morality frames US politics

Ethics - a good place to start when looking at different ways of analyzing ethics. My high school ethics class is a huge component in why I questioned my own beliefs. Ethics is an eye-opening topic.

List of all the religions - exploring different religions and belief systems helped open my mind to new ideas and ways of thinking about the world

If you want me to help you research something or find resources for a specific situation, feel free to message me or send me an ask and I’m happy to help (you can also ask me other questions, my asks and DMs are always open!)

And as always, if I made a mistake or linked a bad resource, please feel free to let me know so that I can correct the issue ASAP. I always try to do my research thoroughly, but things can slip by since I am but a human. Thank you!

#cptsdstudyblrreligion #cptsd #ptsd #trauma #religious trauma #religious abuse #religion #christianity #fundamentalism #ex fundamentalist #cult #ex cult #fundie #ex fundie #ex christian #christian

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quaintqueer · 3 years

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I don't know what you think about labels, maybe you are the kind of person who watches shows like Marie Kondo where they organise people's houses and put sticky labels on everything so that you can easily identify the contents. Maybe you're the kind of person who does not like to be labelled or stereotyped. Maybe you prefer to be just yourself.

I have had a very complex relationship with labels and identity. You could say that I started off on the wrong foot. My mother went to a Baptist church on Sunday morning and a Charismatic/Pentecostal hands-in-the-air, shouting and screaming, spiritual warfare kind of church on Sunday night. And my dad had his Holy Communion as a kid and then went to mass on Easter and Christmas. So to begin with my labels were numerous and incongruent which did cause some issues for younger Zoe.

And I want to share with you about where God has led me through the understanding of this topic. I am not entirely sure where to start and I'm not sure how vague to be here but let's just say that at least the draft will be an explicit and partly chronological one.

12 year old Zoe I went to church most Sundays with her family and she was very very lucky to have a wonderful Christian friends in her life and at this point the label attached to her as a daughter was the unproblematic child and at school she was the sweet and friendly member of the God Squad or Singing Christians depending on how you asked. But those were the kind of labels that existed around that time.

What happens though to 12 year old Zoe is that she falls madly and instantaneously in love with her best friend. And almost immediately she thinks ‘am I in love with this girl? that must make me gay.’ And being a part of the circles that I was in a fairly conservative Christian family and a fairly conservative Christian School with Christian friends in that Christian school, I said ‘absolutely not. I don't want to have to deal with that.’ I was never hateful towards gay people in general I just thought I just didn't want to deal with it myself. My mum and I had had conversations about it when the plebiscite happened, and whenever we spoke about it, it was very much about ‘the gay people’ as opposed to anyone we knew or loved, let alone a Christian person, and so this whole gay thing wasn’t really thought about. Ao a few times over the next 2 or 3 years so I would ask, ‘am I in love with this girl’ And I always concluded ‘no no no you can't be in love cos you're not gay’.

By the time I’m about 14, I’ve been awoken to all different kinds of social justice movements, I took sociology, I’m going to save the world. THe labels I proudly wear are things like left wing, passionate, an ally to many different communities, in particular the lgbtq+ community.

Zoe at one point goes ‘frick frack, I'm definitely in love with this girl’. and because of the way that this world really loves labels, this was completely synonymous in my mind with being gay. My first response was probably because I'm bisexual so now that is an importand confusing label Zoë is wearing. I have somewhat fond somewhat mortifying memories of sitting on the Shinkansen, the bullet train, from Tokyo to Kyoto next to my dad doing every single ‘Am I gay’ quiz I could find online. Throughout this trip to Japan, I’m really testing the waters and every single younger woman I saw I was like ‘Is she cute? Am I attracted to her? Would I kiss her?’ and so that experience made me very nervous because I had still grown up with the mindset that if people were gay it was ok but they weren't Christian. And I was a Christian, so I just ignored it really. And this turned into a time of me hypersexualising sll of the boys that I had ever thought I had a crush on. I can quite confidently say that I didn't actually have a crush on many of them, I just thought that that was something that I should do. So there was a lot of ignoring this feeling.

We then reach year 10, 2020, a glorious year. In the first Lockdown, I finally caved and downloaded Tik Tok. The thing about Tik Tok is that it comes with its own world of labels, and I really would enjoy the kinds of conversations about what side of Tik Tok you are on. I loved that your For You Page automatically gave you certain labels to wear as a Tik Tok user, and I loved that those applied to real life. I quite quickly ended up on gay Tik Tok, among other things. I was also very firmly on Black Lives Matter Tik Tok, on disablrf Tik Tok, on Indigenous Tik Tok, so on and so forth. But much of my content was about the lgbtq community and this opened a ahole can of worms. I, at this time, carried a lot of shame for my attraction to women. For a bit of a backstory, I had been so severely heartbroken by this girl - not by her own intentional actions, I think that she was never going to feel about me the way that I felt about her and that was not her fault - but I was so seriously heartbroken that not only did I hold this moral shame but also this like emotional shame of my attraction to women. I felt like it was not a good thing morally and it didn't feel good emotionally because I had to still been really hurt about this girl and I have never really gotten over that. So for the first time on gay Tik Tok, I saw queerness and same-sex attraction as a positive thing not only in terms of ‘hey look these are women loving woman relationships that are working well’ but also ‘whether or not you're dating someone, queer identity is good for you and it's fun to talk about’. And as a type 4 on the enneagram, I love to feel special - not to say that I fabricated these feelings or that any queer person is queer for attention - but I think a big part of me felt validated or special because of my feelings and my queeness. It was like a new club that I could join. And so the labels that 15 year old Zoe wears largely consisted of queer. We had it dropped bisexual a little bit because at this point I was not sure if I like men at all and so we identified as queer or sapphic or bi or lesbian or gay - many of these words along with the left wing, Pro Black-lives-matter, pro-feminism, pro-lgbtq+, anti-colonialist anti-capitalist etc. etc. And I don't want to demonize any of those things - they are not at all negative things, I'm just painting a picture of the different labels that I wore.

Through out starting to come out to my friends and existing for longer periods of time not only on gay Tik Tok but now really searching all through the Internet for more LGBTQ+ identity - as I tried to confirm my traction for women, as I tried to decide about my attraction to men, about what label I should wear, and what it's like being in the LGBTQ+ community different, spaces where we interact, different identities and labels and experiences of queerness. So I really tied myself to this identity and it is I think so much because of the way the world sees labels as I said and so my first response was ‘well if I like girls I must be gay and if I'm gay I must identify that way and that has to be the most important thing about me’ because all the people I was seeing online really loved being gay. They were proud of their identity in their queeness. In the world as much as I think that we like to think we’ve got this ‘your sexuality or your gender identity doesn't matter. Gay and straight and bi and pan and whoever you are, we’re all human’, I think it often the world does like to draw those lines on both sides. Within queer communities there was - obviously ironically and satirically - this heterophobia honestly. (I'm joking!) But there was a real pride in this identity of whichever specific label you wear as well as the wider lgbtq plus label which led me to believe my sexuality was who I was. And that proved really quite awkward because I knew that my church and my family and many of my Christian friends believed that same sex marriage and romance was sinful. Because of the strong connection between my identity and my sexuality, if my sexuality was sinful, that meant that I was inherently and completely sinful and I didn't like that. It wasn't a fun feeling. After all of the years of learning about God’s gift of grace to us, kind of I lost in the crevices of my mind and whenever I thought about God I was met with feelings of shame and fear and dread and resentment sometimes even anger and I grew to be so despairing.

Eventually I tried the various progressive Christianity movements that teach that ‘God doesn't actually say the being gay is a sin, the Bible is pro queerness and don't even worry about it, God made you exactly the way that you are and he loves you the way that you are, go forth and have that lesbian relationship that you so desperately want’. But that never really sat right with me. It brought up other questions of ‘well if the current translation of the Bible says things like marriage is between a man and a woman, God made man and woman, any sex outside of marriage is sinful, or even the parts that say that ‘homosexuality is sinful, or man lying with man in certain translations, is sinful what happened to that part of the Bible?’ And of course I heard the response about how at the Bible was written by man and not by God and that it is fragile and can be manipulated and basically King James ruined the whole Bible when he wrote that translation and you don't have to listen to it. But that really didn't work for me. If that part of the Bible had been mistranslated how could I know that the rest of the Bible hadn't been mistranslated? If words like homosexuality weren't in the original text and they had been added there or mistranslated how could I understand the words like grace and love and hope and patience and kindness and peace and righteousness and holiness and justice? What if they were mistranslated? What if the whole Gospel was not how it was written in the Bible because the Bible was man-made? Pretty immediatelyI decided I couldn’t really understand a Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin because Christianity is written in the Bible and the Bible says that quite clearly. I believe that the Bible is directly the Word of God, that it is perfect, that the way that it is translated - obviously different translations vary - but that it is right from God’s mouth so imediately was like I can't believe in it Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin and so I've got to pick Christian or Gay.

And I didn’t want to choose Christian because I had this point has grown quite fond of being gay and I mean, I was truly just attracted to women, right, like I wanted a girlfriend and so I tried really hard to ignore God. I was still going to church, twice or three times a week and all that, and I could not shake the existence of God. I knew God existed. I knew that He created the world, that He was good and that they was the thing called sin that separated us from him. I knew that sin led to death. I knew that He had sent His Son to bridge the gap between himself and sinners. I knew that Son was Jesus and that He died on the cross and he rose again and I knew that if you believed in him you would spend eternity with God which was a really good thing. I could not shake those feelings, all those beliefs, and I absolutely praise God for that. I'm so beyond grateful that God did not leave me, even when I hated him and resented him and felt so much anger towards him. Praise Jesus!

All this left me thinking, well some people could go to heaven, but God hates me because of my feelings. He does not want me part of His kingdom if I'm gay. I can't ever go to heaven because I'm a sinner, and sinners don’t go to heaven. I truly don't know where all my years of learning about the grace of God had gone. This led me to a really distressed position, probably one of the lowest ever my mental health had been. I was just not coping and I ended up being kind of forced to tell my mum. I don't really want to say too much on this part of the story but by the middle-ish end of year 10 I ended up coming out to my mum and she told my dad, ‘cause I refused to do it myself, and then I got a therapist. Finally, now that my mum knew, I could ask her what I had so desperately wante to ask her - if she could please buy me some books about being gay and Christian. And so she did. And I slowly but surely started to read them, I started to read my Bible more and I started to really search for what it meant to have faith trust in God’s grace and not in your own work, not in your own actions or thoughts or words. The first book I got in particular was really hard to read it was based more on specific Theology and not on personal experience and I needed that foundation in what God really said because I had just had conversations with my mum and she had reminded me ‘God is real and he loves you and he sent his son to die for you and that is an option for you as much as it is for anyone else, your queerness does not separate you from Christ's death and resurrection’. There is a wonderful bible verse that became very important to me at this time. Romans 8, the very end of the chapter, says ‘for I'm convinced that neither death not life neither Angels not Demons need of a present or the future and or any Powers neither height nor depth nor anything else in All Creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our lord.’ So with this in mind, I decided that I could trust God and now I just needed to learn how. so I worked away through different books, through different parts of the Bible, praying really hard, searching online and asking really hard questions to some really awesome Christian women in my life, and asking God to reveal to me exactly what he thought about me and about queerness and so eventually we get to the present moment. I by no means know everything that I wish I knew, but now I can say that I wholly trust God with my next life - I trust that he has the power and the strength and the holiness to overcome even my sin which sometimes feels like the biggest there is. and I trust him with this life - that life with him is so much better than any lesbian affair I could ever experience.

I want to personally apologize to any one who the church or the world has ever made believe that they are somehow exempt from God’s love because of who they are or what they've done or how they’ve felt. That is false. There is no one that does not sin, no one that is not inherently separated from God. And there is no one who is too far from Jesus' power to be saved from that sin. God is bigger than your sin, I promise you.

I want to take this time to mourn for the lives lost and the joy and peace forfeited because of the way people who claim to know God treat queer people. I'm sorry if you have been made to feel less than because of the church. In the process of overcoming of guilt and shame that I have felt over the year, one more verse that I found really important. 1 John 1 says that ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.’

So for me, I don't identify with my sexuality. I don't want to say that I'm straight now, that's not really true. but my sexuality is not what makes me who I am. I am a person fearfully and wonderfully made by God and I am a daughter of God in Christ. I am not ashamed of my feelings. I do think that it is worth mentioning that an attraction or a desire or an impulse is not the same as a sin. The Bible tells us that Jesus himself was tempted in every way and the Bible also tells us that Jesus is blameless and never sinned. And so I think it's worth the clarification that same-sex attraction or anything like that is not sinful itself and also that being gay is never worse than anyone else's sin, and it is never ever bigger than God.

I just want you all to know that there is nothing that you have done that makes you exempt from God’s love for you, to know that he is trustworthy, that the Bible is trustworthy, and I encourage you that your value is inherent as a person made in God’s image and that with Jesus, you can have identity in his son alone. When he sees you, he sees the goodness and perfection of Jesus if you believe in him.

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