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tails-artwork · 6 months

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Gaming Thoughts - October 2023 - Xenoblade Chronicles X

Ever since the announcement of the Wii-U's internet being discontinued, I had found myself going back to this game after so many years. Also, knowing me as a small disclaimer, you may be seeing this game a bit from me as well. XD

I had actually picked up XCX back at Launch and played it quite a bit, but because things got busy and also there was a point that I was stuck in the game, I had put it down for a period of time and said that I would come back to working on it later when things calmed down a bit. Well...now became that later so I may be a little scrambling to get things in it somewhat gone through. At least get some of the online-only content in there at the least before it is no longer accessible. (I know that Pretendo could be an option in the future, but I'm not 100% confident on if they will be able to get XCX up and running through their service since looking at their roadmap it isn't quite a priority yet and also I just have great skepticism on fan projects of this large of a scale ever getting finished as well, so it is more or less a 'I'll believe it when I see it deal')

Though coming back to this game now, I've been enjoying it a LOT more now that I'm finally able to understand certain mechanics. The game does jack-shit to explain how some mechanics with the battle system works (ESPECIALLY Overdrive most of all) and the digital manual is like a pain for me to even go through as well (and why I miss physical manuals in games, dammit) either way, after a bit of research and such I've been finding myself highly enjoying it more and more now at this point. It already was my favourite game as it was even with how difficult it was being before, but now only just cemented it even further.

Just as a note for anyone that may want to try to get into the game, DON'T ever approach it the same way you do with normal JRPGs, if you do and just try to go at it entirely for the main story and only hit the side missions here and there, you will find yourself disappointed since the main story itself doesn't present a lot of development for the other characters as it was with the exception of one. You get more of your development of the characters and even of the world itself through the affinity missions and the side missions most of all. Even most of the sidequests have a lot of their own little storyline to them as well too that helps expand more on the world and everything.

I actually wish this game will get at the very least a port to the modern consoles, though. Or even at least Nintendo's next console since because it was on the Wii-U it hardly got a lot of attention as it was and not a lot of people would have played it, but more of all, I would actually also would love to see there be a sequel as well considering there are so many things that are still unanswered as well that I would love to find some resolution to.

Anyways, when I played this game, I made my primary OC, Conrad, being my custom character as well. So I tried to draw him with at least the equipment that I have currently in-game. Out of the weapon types that there are, because of some of the prior things that I have done with him, I felt that out of the weapon options in the game, the Sniper Rifle was still the best one that did fit him as well and I'm still keeping that as being the main weapon that I'm basing my build around. (You have a LOT of options of how to make your build and a few different weapon options to use. You have to have one ranged and one melee weapon in your setup, but with how the game is designed, you really cannot balance your build between the two and it becomes more of one being your main damage dealer and the other being essentially there for support because of the arts that are available to it.)

Either way, odds are likely I'll be playing this game quite a bit either until I get a lot of things finished up finally or after the end of April, whichever comes first so if I end up needing to cover this game again because of this, I'll try to at least make it more on that month's summary as opposed to the game as a whole. XD

(All in all, I don't think I will ever see this being dethroned as one of my top favourite games anytime soon)

#Xenoblade #Xenoblade Chronicles X #my work #my OCs #conrad strasburg #Gaming thoughts

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bluebudgie · 1 year

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So... what's up with these two?

(I love recycling old pictures.png)

You may or may not have seen me draw these rats repeatedly and you may or may not care what's up with them.

Well, in case you do... buckle up, we'll be here for a while.

Just in case: very vague ableism mention. I'm cutting down on pretty much all details, but just so you know the general topic comes up at some point. Don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Unrelated disclaimer: words are difficult.

It's probably smart to start with a general character introduction so you get an idea of who you're dealing with.

So, Petthri.

(Shared most of this stuff about him before, now it's gathered in one place at least.)

The outgoing guy, grew up in a supportive family, always been the popular kid among peers, and later a pretty popular professor with his students (less so with some other colleagues, but hey). Very passionate about animal bioacoustics. Very hands-on when it comes to research and teaching. Infodumps a lot.

He's got his heart in the right place, but he's obviously not flawless. Has his thoughts constantly drifting in twelve different directions at once, can definitely not read the room, and has absolutely said and done things that hurt others just because he didn't think (and probably never realized). Likely to nervously laugh his way through most dangerous situations, but does manage to pull himself together and get things done if things turn really bad.

He got – at some point (precise date TBA, sometime around PoF events) – kidnapped by the Inquest because they wanted some of his research but didn't manage to sort through his mess. So they just took the entire man to the CoE and decided to keep him. Niche knowledge could always be useful after all. They were even kind enough to gift him an additional facial scar during the welcome interrogation! (The other one was a field trip accident). True hospitality.

Not sure if it's incredible optimism or naivety, but he's generally been doing alright during this whole prisoner situation. He's not locked up, they let him work on things he actually cares about (albeit not for the right cause), and overall he's had enough hope to believe he'll get out of there one day. Make the best out of the present, it'll be fine somehow.

I'm sure if you were to dig deep enough he'd find out he's actually less alright than he thinks he is. Oh well.

Let's talk about the other guy. Lahpp.

Me. I created you. (I've said barely anything about this man on here so far bc while I could fill the 20k essay with him alone, writing about him intimidates me lol. Also in case you're ever asking yourself this, no I did not realize his name sounds like 'lab' until weeks after I created him. Unfortunate coincidence. So, anyway...)

Obedient Inquest scientist, questions but doesn't oppose orders, has been doing the same work for the better part of the last two decades. Day in, day out, getting up early and staying up late. Somewhere in the middle of the pyramid scheme, he's definitely got a bunch of heads above him but he's nowhere near the bottom end of the chain. Got his own little lab space. Enjoys music theory in the little free time he allocates. Assertive, lets people know when not to bother him, but very polite nonetheless. Has mastered the art of superficial small talk. The guy who holds open doors and pulls your chair back for you with an acted but convincing smile. Truly employee of the month material.

He's never known anything but this perfectly ordered working drone life so he's fairly content with his current position.

....

Yeeaah you guessed there's more below the surface.

So this man's life started with being the subject of a failed genetic dragon magic experiment, first one in a handful of infants that actually lived, but ultimately he got nothing out of it but a fair share of various health conditions and disabilities. The initial project was dropped after a few years of surveillance with no results, and instead he got handed over to one of the medical departments so they could "at least make use of him" and test some cutting-edge medical tech. No wasting ressources, am I right? (:

Fastforward some years, a miserable childhood full of abuse and ableism (and by extension just as much of it internalized) essentially left him with the obsession of wanting to fit in with everyone else, wanting to be like everyone else, never having anyone find out anything about his conditions and his past. Worked his ass off in college so it wouldn't be apparent he struggled when others didn't. Created a work environment for himself that he knew would be accommodating to him while not raising any possible questions.

He's been doing fine for some time now; while he definitely hasn't gotten rid of his insecurities he has somewhat accepted that he just... is who he is. Some days are worse and some days are better. His brain has done a very thorough job suppressing pretty much all his early childhood memories. He has also convinced himself that being a perfectly exploitable asset to the corporation that abused him for years is definitely the right way to stick it to the system. They said he'd never be useful for anything and die an early death? Ha, showed 'em! (I am saying this with a lot of sarcasm. He is genuine.)

He's definitely a product of the environment he grew up in, which is a shame because if he hadn't been indoctrinated by the Inquest since birth he would have probably turned out a pretty decent person. He doesn't have the absolute worst inner moral compass. Alas, as it is he has contributed to [some fucked up things] and has [some fucked up views]. And he's not about to change that.

So... at what point do the stories of these two actually connect?

Petthri and Lahpp first met within a larger group of mostly scientists from mixed divisions that were sent on a trip to Rata Primus.

I won't go into the full details of The Rata Primus Odyssey now because that is a whole different story arc involving a total of six of my characters, but the relevant information is that they arrived in the wrong place at the wrong time (A Bug In The System says hello!), and got trapped in the main complex together (alongside Phlish and my charr engineer Leto) when Awakened shit hit the fan.

In short, the following escape mission lasted way too long, and made for an incredibly exhausting 0/10 experience for everyone involved. Cooperation between our two relevant asura actually went surprisingly smooth for the most part, at least way better than with the rest of the small group.

(Bringing that old edit back. Two criminals actually getting shit done in the back while the others are about to snap each other's head off.)

I did once offhandedly mention that Lahpp held Petthri at gunpoint exactly one time – that was here. He was not going to risk getting onto HQ's watch list for letting a prisoner slip away while he's even remotely involved.

Ultimately exhaustion and having no access to important medication for a prolonged amount of time got the better end of Lahpp, and while the other two would have probably just left the "dead weight" behind, Petthri made sure he made it out with them. Not a great time for the little Inquest criminal, both physically and mentally given his inclination for secrecy regarding certain topics.

A few days after they returned to the CoE Petthri checked up on Lahpp to make sure he's recovering, but afterwards... radio silence from both sides for the next few years.

–

Fastforward, it's now Cantha time!

If Lahpp had a piece of gold for everytime HQ sent him away on a "business trip" that'll end up nearly killing him, and likewise Petthri had one for everytime he'd be witness to that, they'd both have... two pieces of gold, which isn't much, but it's still weird it happened twice.

Once again as part of a larger group, our criminals find themselves in New Kaineng City. And because I am a mere human being that is not above resorting to overused tropes, they do of course end up having to share the same room for the time of their stay. I never claimed to be a mastermind storywriter.

At least this time the trip starts out fairly unspectacular, with mostly guided group tours through the city and its labs. Lahpp is not feeling too great (understatement) during all of this for reasons he can't quite grasp, but he's got a really bad gut feeling. Petthri actually notices he's lingering a lot and falling behind, so he suggests they split off from the rest of the group and go back to their room early. Get some rest, the journey to Cantha was long after all.

The next days are pretty calm, the Inquest is snooping around while our two heroes actually have some time to talk and get to know each other a little more. Petthri finally gets to tell someone his whole 'and this is how I was kidnapped!' story. Petthri's questions are getting a little too personal for Lahpp's taste, but overall they get along alright. It's almost like two people that have been way too lonely for several years are actually finding a bit of comfort for a moment. (Side note: Petthri warms up to people very quickly, and he might be (without realizing it) getting a little too comfortable with the idea of having found someone "redeemable".)

Now wouldn't it be great if a nearby reactor blew up and an elder dragon escaped?

The event itself isn't really affecting them (yet) but I do think Lahpp must be questioning the Eternal Alchemy at this point. Thaumanova. Multiple near-meltdowns in the Crucible. Rata Primus. Now this. Seriously, at some point it's just ridiculous.

With each new information surfacing, the "bad gut feeling" is slowly but surely turning into mild but continuous panic. Something is off and it clearly has something to do with dragons. Now, Lahpp never really cared about the whole elder dragon business. Whatever sort of magic experiment he was used for, it's the outcome that affected his life, not the source of it. Still, the thoughts are starting to occupy his mind more than he'd like to admit. Petthri is entirely unaware of any of this.

Oh wait – what's this? A new unknown form of raw magic rapidly spreading and threatening to destroy Tyria? Obviously this is something to be investigated, so the larger group coordinates an excursion to Dragon's End. And obviously they end up getting into the battle for the jade sea.

I guess at this point you see where my art is coming from.

Petthri and Lahpp never get to fight Soo-Won herself (no canon meta participation alas), but they are busy enough fending off Void creatures on ground level anyway. It's unclear (to me) if or how much the Void actually affects Lahpp on a physical level, but regardless he is not having the best time being confronted with something that is so unknown to him and yet so closely connected to his very being.

Some resurfacing traumatic memories combined with a not-so-pretty panic attack (and the physical stress of fighting) later, it's poor Petthri's task to once again take a blacked out criminal to safety. Meanwhile he's got absolutely no idea what is going on, but he's definitely going to demand some explanations.

For some days after this Petthri's playing bedside vigil in a New Kaineng medical facility. The two have a lot of time to talk. Personal topics. Uncomfortable topics. Lahpp does tell Petthri to go back to Rata Sum, he's beyond caring at this point. Quite frankly he thinks HQ won't care either. Petthri refuses to leave just like that. Asks Lahpp to come with him, he'll be better off away from the Inquest. Obviously Lahpp is not having any of it, he's very well aware the Inquest is as corrupt as it gets, but so is Rata Sum. That's just how the world functions. The Inquest has the meds and tech he needs to survive. He's not leaving. And he certainly doesn't need anyone acting self-sacrificial out of pity. It's degrading.

He tells Petthri to sleep on it and make up his mind the next day.

–

Aaand that is pretty much where the somewhat coherently planned part of my current rat-timeline ends. A glimpse into vague concepts for the future:

Enter a third character to the roster! It's Luqqah, Inquest medic-turned-biochemist. She happened to be in Cantha for a while now, doing her own research. She gets involved treating the injured after the whole Void mess. Naturally she ends up finding Petthri and Lahpp. Lucky for the latter, because she obviously has better knowledge dealing with asura than any of the human medics. And... in fact... she has pretty detailed knowledge about what's up with Lahpp specifically. Dealt with his medical papers in the past. Oh, also... they're exes. Don't worry, parted on good terms. Haven't seen each other since shortly after the Thaumanova meltdown. What a reunion.

So... yeah. It's gonna be trio time from now on. I don't know yet for how long the three of them stay in Cantha, or if they're going to get involved with the whole Gyala Delve storyline (or whatever comes out of it). Lahpp's not doing great, he'll need a while recovering. If he ever fully recovers. Petthri has a few of his own inner demons to fight. Time will tell.

As a conclusion... Petthri's saviour complex sets him on a good path towards a corruption arc while Lahpp's as close to a redemption arc as he'll get. They're both questioning their life and views a lot. Spoiler from the Omniscient Narrator: Both of them will be back in the Crucible. But with more thoughts to think than before. And more time to spend together.

And that's what's currently up with the rats.

#godspeed to all of you.#if you actually made it to the end: you have my eternal gratitude these rats mean a lot to me and this ultimate infodump was difficult #there is so much more to each of them separately and to some of the things i'm mentioning kinda briefly. some things i didnt mention at all #but this should cover at least a good chunk of what is relevant to both of them together #i wish i could just transfer all my thoughts to you telepathically but alas assorted words and images will have to do #budgie plays gw2

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asgardian--angels · 1 month

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I love your blog title. I love that when DJenks made his announcement this month, I went into the tags all morose and accepting defeat, and I saw you there still ready to fight, not giving up, ready for a marathon. Truly, that means SO much to me. A little bit of hope is a powerful thing to have, and we need people who are determined to keep that flame burning bright. So happy to have you in this fandom. You really do make a difference. 💕

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. And yeah, I'd almost forgotten about my blog title, which I've had for over a decade, and how hope really does embody me and everything I do.

The streaming landscape is in upheaval, things are changing by the week - even since our turbo-cancellation was announced, two other shows (cancelled for much longer) were saved. Like others have been saying, we were all mentally prepared for a marathon and realistically I don't think anyone can just call everything off after just two months when so many shows have to fight for years before getting a movie deal. I respect David - he told us that news so that we'd know that there's nothing more we can accomplish right now by shouting at streamers, and that we did make a difference. There WERE interested parties, we proved we were lucrative. But that does not mean the fight is over, it just means we need to change tactics and pivot to keeping the fandom active and vocal in the long-term, and bide our time until shifts in the industry open new doors for revisiting OFMD (like David Zaslav leaving, or Max going under, or another merger). That might be six months, or it might be six years. What I am certain of is that there's so much love and passion for this show from the cast and crew that everyone would be down to get the gang back together for a season 3 years down the road.

Basically, I have no doubts the fandom will persist - this fandom is composed of very enthusiastic and artistically talented people who have an unending well of inspiration to draw from. What I do think needs to be done though, that I'm seeing wane a bit on Twitter, is to ensure we direct that noise; most people have stopped using OFMD hashtags, which means our posts won't get noticed. Something that has been great is just how vehemently the fandom has gone after Max on pretty much every single promotional post they've made in the past few weeks - check any of them out, and you'll see 95-100% of the comments are OFMD fans using #DontStreamonMax and #FireDavidZaslav , plus the great new tagline 'Sell The Show, Let Us Go'. That is something that I feel is critical we keep up, as I think one of the most powerful means of influence we have right now is to hold this industry responsible for the cancellation of queer content and just quality content overall. That's one direction we can really put our might towards - toppling the WBD empire faster. Other things we can shout for are a physical release, 'The Jenkins Cut' of s2ep8, deleted scenes/bloopers, merchandise, etc. Max is being absolutely idiotic right now in a way that shoots themselves in the foot, because they're holding onto this IP that could have been their lifeline for keeping subscribers and stock prices up, and not only did they cancel it but they're not even maximizing on the rights they refuse to sell by promoting it or making merch of it, anything that could continue to bring in revenue for what they KNOW without a doubt is one of the best performing shows they've ever had on their platform. Them trying to forget OFMD exists is the nail in their own coffin, because it's the only reason a whole lot of people ever did business with Max in the first place.

So, the long and short of it is, I'll never stop having hope for the return of our show! David said we got the attention of this industry, and we've proven our worth. It's just a really unstable landscape right now, so we need to be patient. It's annoying to see these streamers invest in less successful and more expensive shows, but I think they're all panicking to stay afloat even though they're not making decisions that could help them there. The dust needs to settle. If we can show that there's still a loud and passionate fanbase in a year, in three years, then they will revisit us. We need to keep calling out WBD and Max, we need to keep using hashtags to be heard, and just try to settle into a rhythm that we can maintain long-term. We still have a bunch of BTS to see from Samba, and we will have WJW with David at some point. I think it's important that we DON'T request any season 3 info from him, because that's what jeopardizes the possibility of that storyline then ever getting made. I'm seeing some people on Twitter start to burn out or fall into a state of sad acceptance and if you need to do that for your health, that's fine. But I don't want that mindset to spread throughout the fandom. Our outlook, our words, do have the power to become reality - if we sit back and wave the white flag, then that seriously hurts our chances of ever getting the show back. But if we can carry on like it's just a season hiatus, continuing to demand the question 'ok so WHEN *taps watch*' then our insistence can help make season 3 a reality.

#thanks for this i'm glad i can help inspire some folks to keep the fight going #ofmd #our flag means death

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im-no-jedi · 8 months

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Let’s get some fun recommendations goin around here! What’s a piece of clone content (art, fic, etc) that has stuck with you as being notably excellent? Tag it in your answer so we can all find some new fun to read! If you want, of course; feel free to ignore! 💕

🤩 oh what a fun idea!! I would LOVE to gush about some really cool artists, thank you 😁

I'll start with @shyranno, whose art I absolutely adore. her style is so clean and expressive and colorful, and she makes amazing comics. the TBB Downtime series is exactly my kinda Clone content, filled with lots of fluff and feels. the "baby" batch ones are my favorite, but I'm also fond of this one where Tech gets teased from not being able to grow a beard 😜

another artist I really love is @zaana! she also draws a lot of really sweet and funny moments with TBB, and I'm super fond of her more sketchy style of drawing. she's got a "Crosshair defects the Empire" AU about Cross rejoining TBB sometime during season 2 that I love soooooo much. honestly, all her stuff with Crosshair (especially the ones with Omega) is top tier. although I think my top favorite is this one with Hunter and Crosshair (which @questforgalas also wrote an amazing oneshot about!); it's so simple but so sweet, and I automatically love any wholesome content between these two 🥰

then there's @lightspringrain, who makes beautiful portraits of TBB. I've been wanting to buy some of her prints (and will absolutely do so once I have the money!!) because they are seriously gorgeous. her "Crown" series is the best, it's so lovely! and she does an amazing job capturing the style of the show! to no one's surprise, my favorites are the Hunter and Omega moon crowns. the Hunter one is legit one of my favorite art piece ever; it's been my lockscreen on my phone ever since I saw it 💙

someone I recently started following is @thattoothpick! after seeing her "TBB Happy on Pabu" comics, I had to see more. the best way I can describe her style is "soft". everything is just so soft; the lines, the colors, all of it. it just makes me happy 😊 I have two favorite pieces; the first is this one about Hunter and Crosshair from the Pabu series. literally made me cry. I need this to happen SO badly 🥺 and then this one that I refer to as "the Sad Batch"... oh man. also had me crying (but also simping for obvious reasons LOL) 😭

now for a big one. I can easily say my favorite SW related artist of all time is @lornaka. her art... holy crap y'all. it's so freaking good. she makes everything from simple portraits to stunning dynamic pieces, and I'm obsessed with all of it. she even was featured during SW Celebration last year!! she's that good!! \o/ I have a few favorites of hers. which obviously includes the TBB poster she made for Celebration. still sad I couldn't get my own copy of it 💔 then there's this... lovely portrait of Hunter from behind. oh Lordy 🥵 and finally, my top favorite is actually this simple portrait of Hunter. I had it as my lockscreen for a LONG time. it's just... so good. the colors, the stars, his expression... I'm still obsessed 😍

finally, I can't talk about amazing artists without mentioning my sister @jam-n-ham. her art account is @joyjababanoid. y'all. please just scroll through her TBB art, you will not regret it. I've always adored her cartoony and expressive style, and it makes for hilarious Clone content LOL. she did a bunch of drawings for Inktober last year, solely focused around TBB. she's also done some comics that I've had a part in helping her develop (specifically the Padme pin-up art and the AZI going on a mission). but my absolute favorite is by far the Valentines collection. y'aaaaaaaall. I had the Hunter one as my phone background for over a year haha. she knows how to personally get to me, let's just say that 🥵

oh, and one last thing I wanna mention is that the one thing these folks all have in common, aside from being fantastic artists, is that I love how each of them draw my bae. seriously, y'all draw Hunter so good, and I'm smooching each of your different versions of him 🥰😘

thanks for letting me gush about some cool people!! everyone show them some much deserved love please!! 💙💙💙

#this was super long OMG sldkjfghklgfkdj #but I won't apologize!#these people deserve all the love!#wish I had some more fics to recommend #but sadly I'm more of a writer than a reader 😅#anyway PLEASE GIVE ALL THESE PEOPLE SOME LOVE #THEY DESERVE IT #💙💙💙#star warz #anonymous #ask

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bogkeep · 11 months

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i don't know if it's just me, but there's posts that i keep seeing that are like "people need to stop cycling through fandoms so fast," usually with a sentiment about the importance of commenting and sharing people's work and nurture their communities. i think Fandom Sustainability is a very interesting topic so i have THOUGHTS............ like first of absolutely all, that's a weird onus to put on people. Fandom Is For Fun. people don't usually control what their brainworms are gonna wriggle about. nobody should have to sign a five year contract for Enjoying Thing Together With Others. like. i understand that a lot of these posts are directed at people that are Enjoying the works of fanartists and fanfic writers, to urge them to share and react and feed their inspiration - but what about me, A Creator Of Such Things? are you making it my obligation to keep drawing fanart for a specific thing? becuase i've gotten plenty of lovely comments and feedback and all around soft and fuzzy feelings from the communities i've partaken in, but i'm only human. it's not that i lose love or interest for the properties, it's just - sometimes life happens. sometimes my momentum is unsustainable and i gotta slow down eventually. sometimes i want to draw other things! and yeah, i'm only one person, i'm not a whole fandom, and i can only speak on my experiences. i just feel like there's a narrative of "nice comments and engagement can keep an artist/writer go on forever" which i don't really agree with. reblogs and comments absolutely make me want to make more stuff! being part of a community is absolutely inspiring and fills me with ideas! but that can only take me so far. i think plenty of artists carry the same feelings of guilt for not drawing more X, or have gotten asks pleading for more Y. feeling unappreciated is not the only reason people stop creating a specific content.

my next Thought is that i think there are external sources causing fandom lifespans to shorten. i think there's a well documented phenomena that it's easier to sustain a fan community for long running, serial media with waiting time inbetween content, than it is for one-off movies or like, entire showruns premiered all at once for bingeability. and the current climate of "we're probably going to cancel this show after two seasons for capitalist rot reasons" and disillusionment with corporation and streaming services? probably not helping either!

i DO think there's something to be said for the speed of social media as opposed to, what, email lists? snail mail compendiums? but early tumblr was like, dominated by approximately five fandoms or something for years and years, so it CAN be done. clearly. maybe the change for discord servers to be the main hubs for communities, as opposed to old school forums? i think that may be one of the culprits for sure, because servers are so fast and exhuasting and there's Stuff going on all the time and you can only keep up so much before you burn out. i think. maybe it's just me who's burnt out thinking about it, because i know there can be really good servers that are well moderated and paced and sustainable! i've tried fandoming in several formats - i've done old school forum. i've done discord server. i've done Small Group Of Friends. i've done Just Vibing On My Blog/Twitter. and to me - and this is of course personal experience and not speaking for everyone else - the best longterm strategies for me has been the ones where i have the least contact with the actual fan communities. partaking in communities has been amazing and inspiring, i've made lots of close friends i'm still in contact with, but active participation in fandom is not something i can hold up forever. i can either burn in a fiery blaze for a little while or i can keep a low simmer for a long time. it's so much easier to love a story on my own terms when i don't have to be involved in every controversy of its fan community, even if it means trading away ideas and inspiration and drive. there's a balance to be struck between the two, of course. then there's like... sometimes something happens, either with the Media or with the Fandom. there's always going to be a risk with attaching yourself to a community and pouring yourself into it. do i have to keep loving something even if the creator of it makes it too weird for me? should i have to stay in a space that causes me stress or pain? sometimes the right thing for us to do is leave. sometimes we need a change. i think it's lovely when people stay to keep communities good, to keep creating good fanwork in spite of dissappointing creators. i think it's good to nurture love, but. it's a choice everyone has to make for themself. you should stay because you want to, not to martyr yourself for the sake of proving a point. last Thought i want to honor is that yeah, i believe there's Attitudes Afoot that are a sustainability drain: how old can a fandom get before it's Cringe? how large can a fandom get before it's Cringe? either we're all Cringe or none of us are. people love what they love, and is it not cruel to mock someone for something so joyful, based on arbitrary lines in the sand? if pre-2014 tumblr culture was good at anything it was to love hard and fearlessly. i DO think it's worth creating good and sustainable communities, to love well and responsibly, and find joy on your own terms. i think there's many ways to fandom and one way isn't more right than the other. a relationship is worthwhile even when it's not everlasting.

#too long for twitter #hi i'm writing essays based on 2-3 posts i saw on my dashboard over the past couple months again #can you tell i'm burnt out and have fandom trauma #using the word Sustainable fifty times because i think that's at the core of intentionally doing things always

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studynxiety · 8 months

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06/09/2023

Lately, I have been tired. I am not sure if it's burnout, a random depressive episode or executive dysfunction. All I know is I haven't been really doing as much as I could be. I didn't want to admit it since I was still doing enough to get 80% on most tests and things could be worse.

Looking back, however, I haven't really done much that enjoy lately. I don't remember the last time I turned on some good music and wrote away, burning the midnight candle for something that made me alive. And there has been this constant knot of anxiety at the bottom of my stomach. So, things haven't been vibrant but things aren't exactly bad. It's like waking up on the wrong side of the bad; nothing's horrible but everything's off nonetheless.

All this is to say, I think I need to bounce back and I'm done being passive for this year. I've always been ambitious and I'm going to start pursuing things I want again. I woke up today feeling weirdly motivated so I've decided to start the 100 days of productivity challenge!

Things I hope to achieve from this challenge:

Become good enough in Physics that I can enjoy it again

Finish at least half of the CS50 course

Study for SATS

Make a complete compilation of which Unis to apply to

Finish at least two WIPs

Get better at French

Extra/Less-prioritized goals:

Get abs

learn to cook

Sketch/Draw more often

I think there will be two main obstacles in the way of me accomplishing these things. The first will be finding time. Most of the goals I've mentioned are things I have been putting off for more immediate concerns or just, generally, people needing me for things in the present that need to be dealt with but don't have much of an impact in the future.

The second problem is my undeniable internet addiction. Okay, I feel like internet addiction is too broad; my addiction to constantly consume some form of creative media, be it in the form of books, movies, TV shows, anime, cartoon, comics, or fanfiction. I really need to cut down on that. I think this will be the most difficult part. I'll try cutting out serialized content and instead explore more indie books and movies again. They're usually less addictive but fulfilling in the same.

As always, I'll be ending this post with some talk about the most recent shows that I have been enjoying, which is kind of ironic given the previous paragraph is me just complaining about my inability to stay away from them. Lately, I have been into the ongoing Kdrama "My Lovely Liar." I think the chemistry between the main characters is great and the mystery is alluring. An 8/10 in my books.

Other than that, I've been watching "The Boys." Currently, in season three. It's one heck of a show and it's just so believable and feels like a mirror to reality. The corporate greed of pharmaceutical firms, the corruption among the people who have sworn to protect us, and how hard the world works ... only to maintain the status quo. I think it's very interesting and directly draws parallels to the real world. It's definitely a 10/10 for me. The world building, characters, humour; everything hits just right.

That's all for today. I'll do some chemistry, look over the CS50 course and fill out some forms for some official stuff today and kickstart the productivity challenge tomorrow. I'll try to be more active on tumblr during the 100 days as I need something to keep me accountable. Here is to hoping for better me's and better days and better outcomes.

#studyblr #online diary #spilled thoughts #student life #studyspo #study blog #productivity #study motivation #a level 2023 #the boys #self improvement #internet addiction #100 days of productivity

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blazingstaro · 6 months

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Hey gang! DotS:MMM update!

I will preface: the comic is still live and shall continue at an irregular schedule until I can pull myself together and get back into the flow

Frankly I have not felt up to drawing and forcing myself into a grind. I need to pace myself and not feel like this is an obligation. I started feeling like I had to make pages to keep up the pace and not disappoint, but that started to really ebb at my enjoyment of making this comic

This is my hobby, and not my job. Nobody pays me to make these. I make this because I like it and want to tell a story. Something I have to constantly remind myself, despite the pressure of disappointing my readers with my inconsistency. These days I draw in bursts and end up losing my stamina because I become emotionally overwhelmed

My energy is still fickle. I'm bombarded with overwhelming negativity at home from various sources, including personal stress and depression caused by my current life situation. What I make to decompress shouldn't be a stresser either

I'll continue to chip away at finishing these pages for DotS:MMM Part One, but it will be at my own pace. I'll post again once I feel ready and satisfied enough with how many pages I have in hand. Deadlines stress me out and kill my motivation to draw. Again it makes me feel obligated to do this stuff, to make it instead of just being something I enjoy and have fun with

Also Orpheus decided to worm his way in, so now I have to rewrite some scripts to as well fix a tremendous continuity error that Orpheus has come in to correct. This man makes me rewrite everything, I swear omg

You'll see what I mean in later parts of DotS:MMM

Thank you guys as always for your patience! 💖

Additionally for you all, my Tumblr lovelies, I'll continue to answer asks! Might be able to squeeze in a sketch or two as I go, but goodness I have to constantly train myself to draw for fun and not treat it like work. Tumblr has been helping with that a lot

My previous following several years ago on dA used to pressure me into keeping up with my own content and would punish me with hateful comments if I didn't post art of their fave OC of mine often enough (yes my OWN oc, not a fan character), and UGHGHGH MAN. HEAVEN FORBID I posted a new design without some sort of specific ritual first, just up and dropped a new character like "hi hello this is bleebo blorbie my new baby blorbo kthx bye". They'd throw a fit over that too. Not everyone of course, but it was a lot of people

I was bullied by fans of my own original content 😭 you see why I do fan stuff these days

It wasn't even remotely done, didn't even have a comic or story; people lusted over my own designs. I felt like I had to finish a story that never wanted to be told just to make ends meet, to appease the unappeasable, and burnt myself out entirely on the series to where I had to scrap the whole thing.

Thankfully that's not the case anymore, with my current following being great and sweet, but on rare occasions a rare impatient reader will show themselves on dA specifically

I appreciate you guys being so chill and kind to me throughout this year 😭 Tumblr gang I've always loved y'all. I haven't felt at home on a site in so long

#blazin beeps #dots news #dots comic #dots:mmm #I've been in a creative rut for months #it's been pretty rough on my productivity #I've been slowly getting better and getting out of it in the past couple of weeks #getting back onto fixing up mainline DotS too #things are slowly coming back together #just need to stitch it back into place

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zephyr-lucis-caelum · 7 months

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Hello Final Fantasy XV Fandom!

Hey there,

My name is JJ, I'm an actor and writer, currently working on an extensive FFXV AU fan fiction. I've been a part of the fandom since the game came out but I never really got into the fan content side of it so much until recently because I realized how sad I am that there's no more official content now that Square has moved on to XVI (no hate to XVI, just haven't played it and probably won't get to for a while!)

I've been dealing with depression and turned to FFXV to help deal, despite not having any official ways to play the game. I have no game systems and my computer won't support Windows Edition (and I just can't with Pocket Edition).

I'm a huge, huge, huge fan of the game, the story, the characters (despite the way that it absolutely hurts my feelings) and I decided recently, to help pull me through my own depression to use my Creative Writing college degree as a way to help me engage with the characters.

My OC's name is Prince Zephyr Lucis Caelum. He is Noctis's younger brother by two years, being eighteen when he's sent on the road with his older brother and their friends.

I've done and am doing a lot of work to make him feel real, flawed, imperfect, to give him struggles and a plot of his own that is both independent of Noctis's and compliments it as well. I really enjoy writing interactions with him with all of his friends!

I'm still very much in the Brotherhood era of telling his story because I'm working on developing his backstory right now but I'm planning on eventually moving on to injecting him into the main plot of the game as well.

My first two fics in his story, Free as the Wind and The Founder's Day Ball, are both available on Ao3 or the links in my bio and I'll start posting updates here as well! I'd love it if anyone out there would give them a read!

Also, if anyone wants to beta read or draw some artwork for my stories as well, I would so so so love that too!

I'm just looking for some support from our fandom! Thank you!

#final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ffxv #ff15 #noctis lucis caelum #ignis scientia #prompto argentum #gladiolus amicitia #ffxv noctis #ffxv ignis #ffxv prompto #ffxv gladiolus #chocobros #ffxv fic #ffxv fanfic #final fantasy xv fanfic

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theartfulmegalodon · 6 months

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Well dang it, I've had a nibble of engagement, and I'm finally letting it tempt me. Wanna read my comic scripts? I'm really hoping you do!

It is planned as a 30-issue comic series. I have chosen to write the entire thing and make it as good as I can before I attempt to draw any of the actual pages. Partly this is perfectionism, and partly it is because I know how long it would take me to attempt to draw it, and how unlikely I'd be to ever complete it. I wanted to focus on completing something, and I've chosen the writing.

I have written 15 (half!) of the 30 issues, and they have already seen many, many revisions. (Much thanks to the three people who have read them and given me feedback!) I am quite confident that these first 15 issues are very close to their final forms, and they are definitely good enough for me to share with you all.

I have also done a few sketches and bits of standalone art for the characters*, so while I have no comic pages drawn yet, I will occasionally include some of these sketches in with the script, just to give your optic nerves more of a workout. It's the least I can do! I'm thinking I can post one issue script per week? That's 15 weeks of new content for ya, with more to eventually follow!

*All designs subject to small changes down the line.

I post these issues mainly to share them. My experience has been that people almost never want to read a comic script, but sadly, the writing is as much as I can do right now, and I am in fact proud of what I've done so far, and very much looking forward to tackling the second half. However, I am always looking for feedback, and I will be WIDE OPEN for questions, critique and suggestions. Not saying I'll necessarily change things based on your feedback, but I do welcome it! Also, of course, I'd love it if you shared these around, talked them up to your friends, if you like them!

Read on for more about the story itself!

River & Ash is a slow-burn supernatural gay romance, set in an alternate version of our real world. The material is treated maturely (I like to think) but with only about a PG-13 rating. (No smut, no super-strong language.) There is angst in parts of it, but there is also a lot of wholesome shmoop. And while the focus is mostly on the evolution of the relationship between the two main characters, there is also plot, and mini-arcs, with minor superheroics, alternate history pop culture, and an original mythology and history that is teased and then slowly revealed over the course of the story. It also happens to have a very proactive, driven individual for a main character (River). I say this just in case, like me, you don't love when magic/the supernatural just sort of happens to the protagonist to kick off a story.

Ripped from the introductory page that begins every issue…

"Once, the world was full of magic… because humanity once shared the world with demons. History tells that for thousands of years they coexisted, sometimes happily, sometimes not, but one truth never changed: any human who made a deal with a demon would be granted incredible power of their own… for a price.

But in the Middle Ages, during the rise of the Catholic church, a small pocket of humanity attempted to purge these magical beings from existence. The details were lost to time, but what is known is that the demons who survived collectively renounced mankind and disappeared, removing themselves and their influence. 1101 became known as the year magic vanished from the world.

Centuries later, on the same day he suffers a horrifying loss, River McAllister is given what appears to be a real demon book. These rare, indestructible relics have been mostly hoarded away, and there hasn't been a confirmed demon sighting in over a thousand years. It seems impossible. He knows it probably won't work. But if he can find a way to translate it, he might just be able to summon the demon that belongs to it… and maybe make a deal of his own."

The first will be posted forthwith. Thank you in advance so very much!

#River&Ash #comic writing #comic scripts #really hoping to find even a smidgen of an audience here #Godlings? never heard of it

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b0nelessdoodles · 3 months

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Art Summary 2023

shoutout to the one month were i drew fanart and then everything else was just dnd content again lmao (also shoutout to me being late to posting this haaaaa)

2023 wasn't the best year for me personally. between money problems and job searching, health issues, mental health issues, unintentional discomfort at my new job, and the overall issues of the world it just hasn't been great and I felt it heavily in my creativity. I never really had any creative highs this year outside of artfight (and even then i felt like i didn't do well) which only fed into some of the issues I was having.

But looking back I am really happy with most of what I made! Sure I didn't draw much but hey I think I popped off when I did!

So here is to 2024! Already off to a good start in the art department and even if I slow down at least I've had fun so far!

(i was gonna put me gushing about things in tags but its a lot so i'm doing a read more this post is already so damn long lmao i'm sorry)

okay i'm here to gush about two pieces at a time and their contents cause then make me happy to look at so lets get started on that with march and september 'cause hey! look at the relationship development of my little goblin guy!

march was when kk (tic's best friend and now boyfriend) first appeared to the rest of the party outside of just tic talking about him. literally the entire party could see that kk was in love with tic and was just like "oh buddy sorry about that" 'cause tic was a dumbass and romance was just never something he thought about until meeting the party. then we flash forward to september where the two confessed to each other after what really felt like the end of tic's story arc. at least it felt that way to me 'cause he reached his goal of killing groll and becoming the king of goblins but i know he still has shit to do I'M LOOKING AT YOU TRAVELLER AND RIP! but yeah that was the whole reason he left and it was done. he did it! but it almost cost him kk and the two ended up having a really important talk about it. kk chewed tic out and spilled his guts and i still think about it a lot holy shit it was so good omfg but it was in that moment that it clicked for tic. that if he had actually lost kk he had no idea what he would do, that he felt like his whole life would fall apart without him. and just man it was good wholesome content. congrats to the goblins for being the first canon relationship! (even tho they were not the first confession that one goes to rhami!)

now that that block of the text is out of the way we get to more depressing ones, those being january and october with my guy, dr. cecil wilfree.

its just.... man. what do i even say about him. january was probably the last moment before his life went into a full downward spiral, eventually leading into his demise. that piece isn't even anything major but rather something like a reminder going "hey, remember when wilfree had two normal eyes? good times!" and just man (-insert that image of a horse standing on the beach-) compare that to where he's at in october and knowing what happened in those 10 months? january he still had trust and hope, he believed that he was going to get back home and help river out with his plague, maybe even get aster home if she'd let them, maybe find a way to cure himself and help casey. but by the end there was no hope and he found out that he had been used, was nothing more than a tool for someone who he trusted, despite knowing that he really shouldn't have. river was dead and it was his fault (at least in his mind it was), he had failed to protect aster and traumatized both her and willow, and he could do nothing to save an entire population from being wiped off the face of the map. and he caved under the guilt. he gave up. its sad to see him alive and pissy in january and then look at december and see a shell of the same man, no more thoughts in that head as his mind got disconnected from his body and self.

and then for extra sads we've got december which was his birth month, so i drew something from a time before the campaign. back when he was alive and well, no soul curse and unknowing of the horrors yet to come, and receiving a gift from someone whose life he could soon destroy due to his own hubris.

anyway! pay no mind to may! i didn't draw a damn thing that whole month!

#art summary #art summary 2023 #i was trying not to go off in the main comment but i did anyway oops #the read more is actually just what i was going to put into tags but yeah no i wasn't gonna do that #it would be way too damn long!#if you do read it all and then still read my tags afterwards thank you!#i have a lot of words to say all the time i'm so sorry

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flowerbloom-arts · 2 years

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Has it been two years already since I first posted about the Muddler? Goodness gracious. Imagine drawing the same character for two years and making atleast one finished piece of them on a monthly basis haha can't be me.

Anyway, something something this fandom means alot to me something something.

Seriously though it's kinda crazy how much I've done within these 2 years and I'm still obsessed with the same ol' mutt within that time. There's been alot of ups and downs just with any year, I've made things, I did stuff, fictional little guys and mutuals are the only ones keeping me sane, the usual. In celebration I made new refs for Muddler! There are a few more versions of him I tend to draw but I'll draw those when I need them - for now I'm just gonna settle for these two (and thank goodness because the original ref redo was a hassle to work with so hopefully I've made it more convenient this time)

Looking at my art journey, there's certainly a reason why hindsight is known to have 20/20 vision. There's alot of ~weirdness~ going on in the second year (especially the first half) and I probably almost certainly will see the art for next year the same way. His design has stayed extremely consistent but the way I drew his face and proportions were eehhhh... Sometimes I wonder why I thought it looked good when I made it, you know?

This isn't to say I feel bad for making those pieces and not noticing the glaring issues at the time, they're very much pivotal to my art journey and my current vision of them is a sign that I really HAVE improved. And I'm happy with myself and my art as-is, weirdness I'll notice in the future and all.

I managed to get this far with few critique of my work and just being very obsessive and I'm kinda proud of that, there's been more obvious improvements in the way I draw characters like the Moomins, Hemulens and Hodgkins and I honestly feel great about that. Art has always been my primary fixation since I could hold a pencil and I really don't want to suck the joy out of it by being too critical of it, whether it comes from myself or others, and the thought of bringing content to those who enjoy the things I do but can't find it from anyone else is always a comfort in the back of my mind.

Here's to future endeavors in my career!

#moomins #moominvalley #art #muddler #moomin muddler #the muddler

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schismusic · 5 months

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Redecorating

I've done some pretty stupid shit in my life but this, this whole thing (imagine I'm gesturing around indistinctly with a ghastly look on my face), totally takes the cake. Is it funny if I do the tapping-the-mic-to-check-if-it-works gag in a written post?

It started when I was about to turn fifteen and trying to bed a girl - she honestly dodged a bullet when she said no, I cannot lie to you all. Anyway I guess I absolutely had to find an outlet for being an annoying teenager and being an asshole irl simply didn't cut it sometimes, you know how it is, most of us are here for that exact same reason.

A number of things have happened since I last posted on this hellsite. The short version is as follows:

I had an identity crisis, or two, or five;

I got a driver's license, somehow;

a worldwide pandemic hit, but I guess this is another one of those things that make us equal on this postapocalyptic landscape of a microblogging platform;

just as inexplicably as my driver's license, I also got a beautiful and lovely girlfriend of almost three years now;

who knows, I might even get a degree before 2024 is over.

This is all fine and dandy, of course, but sometimes a dude just needs to scream into the void, wherein "the void" in this case is about two hundred (!!!!) strangers on the internet, which probably includes you, dear reader. Thanks for sticking with me over these troublesome years of absolutely nothing happening on this blog.

What's new then?

Number one: "what the fuck kinda name is schismusic?"

Hi, my name is schismusic. I thought of this ungodly name when I was, as mentioned, a very pretentious fourteen-year-old, and it absolutely shows. However,

one could argue it's part of the charm in a way;

it grants a bit of relative anonimity compared to my other, more beloved Internet alias (which will inevitably come crashing against my inevitable post concerning my band and the record we made a while ago - more on this later);

somehow, it stuck. You people will eat up just about fucking anything, really!

(Another thing that happened: I learned a tiny bit of HTML, because Letterboxd is yet another hellsite I'm not-quite-proudly a part of. Gotta catch 'em all. I love being annoying with HTML formatting as a matter of fact, it's quite liberating to pretend to know that you can code in front of a billion strangers on the Internet.)

Number two: "so is this asshole gonna post fake hipster music on my timeline yet again?"

Not really, or at least not just that. First order of business is that reblogging is fun, but it overstays its welcome when you do it irresponsibly. It also quite literally goes contrary to this blog's original self-appointed mission and this cannot go unchecked. Pretension is law! Bad taste is every single one of this blog's ten commandments! I hate you all more than I hate myself!

Jokes aside, my point is exactly that I want to be a bit less annoying on the Internet for once. Consequently, I have decided to extend the range of posts on this blog beyond the relatively usual songs and reach into short- and medium-form writing (fiction, nonfiction, maybe even reviews: anything goes), pictures I take (the true OGs might remember I used to post my own drawings from time to time: that's not entirely out of the question for the future, it's just that it's been a while since I've last drawn anything worthwhile) and obviously shameless self-promotion (remember me mentioning my band a couple paragraphs above? Well, here is our record on Bandcamp, Spotify and YouTube; and no, my dear OGs, this is not the same band I used to talk about back in the day! This is a whole new project for you to check out), both in Italian and English, and maybe even some Spanish if I actually take my Spanish to a functional level.

As a corollary of this final point, I will not be deleting my old content, so that the new people on here can get to enjoy a whole cornucopia of cringe circa-2014 content.

Finally, since this is primarily a music blog, the obligatory soundtrack to the writing of this post:

Shoutout to literally every single one of you people for somehow not getting tired of waiting through these years of inactivity, or maybe you just forgot that I existed. If it's the second one, I hope this post was a fun throwback, and that this time you remember to unfollow me for good like you probably wanted to do back when I was active and annoying on here.

It's good to be back.

Love, schismusic

#schismusic #back to tumblr #writing #long post #music #i'm back #i missed writing random shit in the tags so much #punctuation is neat. look. it's cool!#bandcamp #spotify #youtube #comeback

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byloisann · 7 months

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introduction post

hi, i'm new to tumblr so I'm not exactly sure how I want to format this but this is an introduction post and also my first ever post on tumblr. so exciting.

my goal with this blog is to share the parts of myself others don't really get to share. i want to talk about my interests by writing lists, reviews, commentaries, etc. I also hope to eventually start posting my art on here and finally start art projects I've always wanted to do. i'll post when i'm able too i guess.

✧ about me ✧

my name is lois👩🏾‍💻. im 18. she/they. demisexual & demiromantic. black american (w/ caribbean heritage 🇯🇲).

im currently a first-year undergrad student. i intend to major in new media with a concentration in amimation as well as minor in africana studies and possibly business or arts & management.

i'm a hobbyist artist (currently) but i've done some freelance work before. both traditional & digital. more below.

mtbi: intp-t

sign~ sun🌞; leo, moon🌚; taurus, rising💫; cancer

interests: art; anime & animation; manga, webcomics & manwha; reading; music/singing; kdramas; tv & movies; language; and etc. i wrote all about them below

✴ interests ✴

art: i've been drawing since I was little and started to take it seriously in middle school. i'm basically getting a practical art degree, took me a long time to accept i wanted to do art. more specifically i draw and paint but most of my traditional work ends up being multimedia (collage, colored pencil, etc.). i do digital work in procreate and i have clip studio paint but i still don't know how to use it...

anime & animation: i literally love it, I grew up watching it with my family specifically my dad got me and my siblings into and I've loved it ever since. part of the reason i started this blog. the genres i gravitate towards are romance, fantasy, mystery, slice of life, magical girl, etc. i'm big on shoujo and want to get more into josei. one of my favorite animes of all time is Akagami no Shirayukihime (or Snow White with the Red Hair).

manga, webcomics & manwha: I've been reading webtoons since the app came out tbh. but for at least 6 years now. i love explaining these plots to my mother, they are so crazy sometimes. um in terms of manga, i haven't read too many only of series of i reallllly liked so specifically Akagami no Shirayukihime and Akatuski no Yona (or Yona of the Dawn) but I want to read more so I started Bungou Stray Dogs. Also, the first volume of manga I've ever bought is Snow White with the Red Hair. my current fav webtoons/manwha are: stray souls, remarried empress, my in-laws are obessessed with me, from knight to a lady, like wind on a dry branch, morgana & oz, raven saga, maybe meant to be, and soooo many more. that would have to be a post on it's own 😅

reading: I really enjoy reading books and my goal this year is 50 books and these past two or so years I've had a focus in reading poc authors/poc main characters and i've been pretty successful in that. but again genres I really enjoy are romance and mystery.

games: i'm not a huge gamer but i do like genshin impact (haven't played in a year tho but i hope to start again), sims4 (when i feel l like it) and minecraft (when i feel like it) and like 2 others.

music: i love singing and listening to music. like i LOVE karaoke, i even have my own machine. i really enjoy music from media (movies, tv-shows, anime, etc.) soundtracks. genres I enjoy are: r&b, woman rap, pop, kpop, and etc. i mostly listen to the same exact songs for weeks at a time so i always fall out of the loop on new music but i always try and incorporate when i can.

kdramas: i'm adding this because specifically I watch so many of these and it's an interest i share with my mom especially. my favorite drama of all time is Strong Woman Do Bong Soon.

tv & movies: i enjoy consuming content. I love watching things from other cultures and languages. i've seen german, french, italian, thai, japanese, british, australian, indian, south african, nigerian media and etc. and very obviously american.

culture, history, and politics: i have interest in learning about others cultures and history but i do have a focus on black history, culture and politics 👍🏾. not gonna go too in-depth.

language: i want to be a polyglot but i'm too lazy but i do want to be able to be proificient in german, french and korean. my stepmom is german so my twin sisters will be bilingual and i want to commuicate with them, french because i've taken 4 semesters of it and while have to take a 5th eventually and korean since i consume a lot of korean media 🤷🏾‍♀️

others: rollerskating, dance, psychology/neurodiversity, health, fashion, etc.

~ random facts ~ (if you made it this far)

i love using emojis

my favorite color is ~ pink !!

i enjoy making lists

i keep a bullet journal/planner

i have 4 siblings (2 brothers and 2 sisters). i'm the oldest/first-born.

i enjoy going to museums

-----------------------------------the end-----------------------------------

~ i plan on making a separate post for my other socials or just ediitng this one. we'll see

but if you want to be mutuals or chat i'm okay with that. i want to interact with like minded people on here so reach out if you'd like.

#introductory post #pinned post #intro post #about myself #black tumblr #anime and manga #artist #demisexual #demiromantic #student #college student #langauge learning #music #tv & movies #reading #art #animation #games

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pain-suffering-even · 1 year

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headcanons: Choi Jongin

so sorry about this being late... i know i promised it forever ago, but i've been really worried about whether or not people will like these headcanons until i realized it doesn't really matter lmao. though here's a disclaimer anyway: i've absolutely used my creative liberty with these characters, and you'll probably have one or two moments where you go "they would never fucking say that," or something along those lines. these are just. blorbos that have been rotting in my brain and i have finally given them their poor little meow meow backstories that have absolutely nothing to do with canon. so :) just keep this in mind with these headcanons, and any future ones i post. i'm just throwing my 2 cents into the fandom, even if they are a very niche 2 cents.

last thing. this is long. i've done my best to shorten it. rip to mobile users.

content warning for mention of drug abuse and attempted suicide.

Quick headcanons -

Name: Choi Jongin

Age: 28

Gender: Male

DOB/Place: May 3rd, 2032 in Seoul, South Korea

Rank/Type: S Rank Mage

Guild/Occupation: Hunter’s Guild Leader

Past Occupation(s): Fiend Guild

Skills: Fire go boom

Weapons: Rings, Gauntlet

Family: Smith Seunghee (mom) (alive)

Kang Donghyuk (biological dad) (unknown)

Choi Jeonghan (stepdad) (alive)

Core headcanons -

Hidden talent: pencil/charcoal/oil pastel art

Favorite food: Deep fried chicken drumsticks

What motivates them: Protecting those he loves, even if it means sacrificing himself + proving others wrong (others being Yoonho and Hwang Dongsuk) + giving his cat Kiwi a good life

Treasured possession: Jintao Brown’s red flannel jacket

Deepest secret: He used to be addicted to ecstasy and has relapsed once already

Best/Worst thing to happen to them: Lim Taegyu taking a chance on him/Getting sent to that boarding school

Random memories: Finding Kiwi as in the rubble of Jeju and smuggling her home in his cape; having too realistic of a nightmare when he was a child and watching the sunrise from his window; Taegyu yelling at him for smoking inside his office; meeting Yoonho for the first time at the testing center, and the fight that followed; the first crush he had on a guy that was in his high school class; riding bikes with Jintao Brown to the track during the summer and having a picnic nearby as their weekly not-date-but-kinda-date;

Best friend/Worst enemy: Lim Taegyu/Hwang Dongsuk

Good/Bad traits: Smart, dependable, funny/Competitive, arrogant, independent, distant, protective,

Things they’ve done/like to do:Lit his kitchen on fire trying to make maruchan noodles, collects candles,

Personality type: “Defender” ISFJ-A (22% extraverted, 78% introverted; 43% intuitive, 57% observant; 46% thinking, 54% feeling; 92% judging, 8% prospecting; 65% assertive, 35% turbulent)

Nervous habit: Clenching his hands/teeth, twisting his rings,

Things they’re afraid of: Sleeping, as he usually has nightmares, lighting his cat on fire,

Things they want to accomplish: Building a cat tree for Kiwi his cat, learning to at least boil an egg with his powers, finish a decent portfolio of his oil pastel works, draw more portraiture of people around him (Taegyu, Haein, Jinchul, Yoonho unfortunately, etc)

Additional headcanons -

Doesn't like kiwis because of their texture. Also, they are hairy

Goes with maroon and blood orange, but that's because hes a fire mage - he actually likes blue

Has a habit of manually sharpening pencils from his artist days

He really like dinosaurs, especially the brontosaurus

Very interested in true crime, he was originally in college to be a forensic scientist

His fingers are usually dirty whenever he's stressed, as he draws when he can't sleep. He also smells a lot like pencil shavings and oil pastels

Has tried to quit smoking 3 separate times but it never seems to work

Their Timeline -

Age 12: leaves for boarding school

2 years pass

Age 14: does ecstasy for the first time

Age 15: starts “dating” Jintao Brown

Age 16: learns he isn’t his stepdads son

Age 17: unsuccessful suicide attempt + graduates

Age 18: gets his rank + joins the Fiend Guild + attempts to sober up

Age 19: his parents divorce

Age 20: Taegyu confronts him about his addiction

3 years pass

Age 23: fight with Hwang + sobers up

Age 24: creates the Hunters Guild

Age 25: first Jeju raid + gets Kiwi

Age 26: second Jeju raid

Age 27: third Jeju raid

Age 28: now

#tw // suicide attempt #tw // drug abuse #fandom: solo leveling #head canons #solo leveling #only i level up #choi jong-in #choi jongin #long post #mentions of other characters #original characters

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