Tumgik
#idk why theyre so hard for me. i dont remember if they were difficult or if they were just tedious tho
godsiick · 9 months
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wah im moody and i wanna play the sr reboot but i dont have a fuckin xbox
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addoration · 1 year
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fanfic writer 20 questions
i wasn't tagged but @zebsfloppyears invited anyone who wanted to do this to do so, n i was bored. hope u dont mind vienna!
1. how many works do you have on ao3? 79. i have 79 works. and im working on a long fic rn so i probably wont be uploaded another fic for a while to make that number rounded. its bothering me. 2. whats your total ao3 word count? 232,222 3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 7 fandoms! most.. prolifically? if i may use that word.... for loz breath of the wild, and his dark materials. 4. what are your top five fics by kudos? 1. finding words enough - i legit dont remeber much of this but basically link is mute and revali speaks on his behalf. ppl seem to love it. rated G. 2. making cocoa for spencer reid - just a lil criminal minds family piece between rossi and reid, idk. bit of a character study! rated T. 3. magic might stain the air - my first merlin fic i posted (out of 2. lmao) but i really hate this one becaue i rushed it and i could have done so much better!!!!! rated M, beware tags. 4. snow on snow, snow on snow - i rllyy dont remember this one at all. lmao. link/revali pre-slash, rated G. 5. whenever we feel - we evaporate - i think? this was my first fic on ao3! and it's the first part of a lil aziraphale/crowley series that became dearly beloved to me but i never really got back to. rated T.
5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? i do now!! i didn't used to because i had an ocd thing about seeing the number go up when half of them were my responses, but thats an obsession that has since left me. i want to apologise to everyone who commented n didnt get a reply sdfghjsf i feel so awkward n i cant respond to comments made years ago now lmao. now i love responding to comments, its such a joy to communicate with my readers and thank them for their kind words!!!!
6. whats the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? i dont write angsty endings; the fics can get as angsty as possible but they must always end happily. sorry :/
7. do you write crossovers? no, i don't. they're not for me!
8. have you ever recieved hate on a fic? not hate exactly.... but i do recall one comment telling me they thought i had rushed the work and it was a bit sloppy (not in so many words tho). i totally agreed with the commenter but i was a bit :/ at reading that yknow
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? i have been known to write smut occasionally, though i dont think i have a "kind" or a "brand".
10. have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of, but (as vienna said in their answer), it's not something that i think about or check for!
11. have you ever had a fic translated? nope! i welcome it though.
12. have you ever co-written a fic before? nope! in theory i would be open to it however i am probably very difficult to work with lmao
13. whats your all time favourite ship? such a hard question because it rlly depends what fandom im currently in, but. baruch/balthamos live rent free in my head. as do aziraphale/crowley, espeically my specific brand of them which is queerplatonic <3
14. what's a wip you want to finish but dont think you ever will? lmao if you had asked me a week ago, i would have said my current longfic, when you catch him, he burns through your heart, like a shooting star burns the skies but im actively up and working on that again, so. i guess something i dont imagine i'll return to any time soon is my series of harth/link fics, you hold my touch in you, simply because it's been a while now, and i dont imagine that such a minor npc as harth will be in botw's sequel, so... how will i rekindle my desire to write for them. idk! it's all up in the air though - i haven't necessarily abandoned any of my unfinished fics, theyre just on indefinite haitus.
15. what are your writing strengths? i would like to think that my poet's voice shines through my prose and therefore that my description is sufficiently good! lmao i have to sometimes physically stop myself from writing 5 paragraphs waxing poetic about the scenery. also honourary mention to dialogue. im pretty proud of some of the lines of dialogue ive written.
16. what are your writing weaknesses? hhghgh action. handling a big plot sensitively. ive been really struggling with making sure ive got hold of all my threads in my long fic. i dont think ive let go of any yet but im constantly paranoid that ive dropped one lmao. also i find action so hard!! the pacing of it, the choice of words, the making sure the reader doesnt get bored by not over or under describing whats happening! hhg.
17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? if this means in the sense that a character is speaking a different language in the fic, then. i've seen it done a few ways. personally i ofc want to understand whats being said, so i like it best when the line is written in english but perhaps put in italics, with a tag saying smth like "they said in french/whatever langauge". ive also seen it done as typed in the langauge followed by the english translation in italics. either way works, i just don't rlly like it when it's completely untranslated!! even having like a lil dictionary in the end notes works.
18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? good omens lmao. i wrote fic before that but im not going into that, and i dont even think i could find it again bc it's lost in the depths of ff.net. i was also 13/14. so yeah :/
19. what's your favourite fic you've ever written? ppl dont really like this fic bc it's gen/not shippy and possibly also bc it was inspired by music, but. i have a real soft spot for my fic rose quartz and cool safflina. (botw, T) i wrote it while listening to la dispute's album panorama, and i think having the music helped me write with such a good flow. it's a very poetic piece, though. not for everyone. i also rlly like the great frost of 1684 (good omens, Gen) though neither of them are anywhere near my popular works' stats.
20. who do you tag? low pressure tagging @snidgetwidgeon, @itcantbe, @cyraclove, @unmaskedcardinal and everyone else who fancies it!!
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh Part 2
a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)
also warning! angst!
anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!
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the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS
soooooo
this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance
anyways
i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you
so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it
so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked
the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened
he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 
but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up
so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that
they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment
you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you
a first year girl theyve just met
it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess
then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it
‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’
after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 
you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that
during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face
‘y/n, what happened!’
‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’
your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie
‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’
‘haha’
you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around
‘y/n? is the food not good?’
your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile
‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’
you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded
the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be
as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body
you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?
the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade
so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold
kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face
‘y/n! what-!’
he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down
‘what happened to you?!’
he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile
‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’
kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant
and he noticed the way you said that sentence
it was like a robot
like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script
but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen
the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid
kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing
‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’
you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento
‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’
okay what
they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone
this had to be the longest school day of your life
the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds
finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly
‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 
you cringed but nodded
‘im okay, oikawa-san’
‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’
‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’
*cue everyone busting a lung*
‘y/n, what’s the-’
‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’
eventually, everything was fine
you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease
but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks
he was silent, just staring at them
ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily
oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them
‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’
‘y/n’
his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces
‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’
his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone
you shivered and sighed
‘senpai, please dont-’
‘who is it?’
the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice
‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’
‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’
the gym turned silent
you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows
‘hickey? what-’
‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’
lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes
‘i-i,,,,’
you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity
you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 
its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other
so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face
‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’
HELLO WHAT
the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE
how dare someone take their manager!
she was theirs!
and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you
is this really turning into a harem
oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted
every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve
they just cant see their baby manager like that
you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them
‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’
they flinched and saluted at you
lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her
but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it
this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay
however,,,
several days later,,,
this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst
you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back
it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you
it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her
then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office
if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs
great
you were stuck
you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest
‘what is it you want from me, again?’
she smirked
‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’
is she serious?
this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl
you gave her an incredulous look and frowned
‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’
but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall
but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty
surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance
‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’
miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her
then she remembered what you told her
‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’
she was right
even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong
you were stumped
you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition
your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record
but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade
‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’
you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back
lmao flashbacks to the other part
she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground
oh no you were done w this
you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground
some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles
but they were really testing you
the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt
hit her right between her legs
you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you
‘oh my god leave me alone!’
you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 
obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can
‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’
miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob
sorry rebecca
however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position
gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight
they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her
ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her
but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick
great, another bathroom scene
your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks
you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would
this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for
‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’
your scream echoed throughout the entire are
possibly could be heard in new york
and your voice became hoarse
ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing
‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’
‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’
I GOT CHILLS
the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground
miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy
kyotani kentarou
‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’
he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow
‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’
ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!
you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention
again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals
you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this
‘oi, y-you okay?’
you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying
his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up
normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him
he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office
he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends
you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away
‘n-no, don’t leave-’
but he grunted softly before holding your wrist
‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’
lowkey getting bakugou vibes
you nodded and went to close your eyes again
kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 
babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes
and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms
it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds
but he let his curiosity take over him
‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’
he grunted and you scoffed with a smile
‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’
‘cant you fight them back?’
you glared at him
‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’
he sighed
‘maybe you just werent strong enough’
okay listen here you lil shit
you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes
but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions
‘the first time we met. was it her too?’
you flinched in surprise
‘you remembered that?’
‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’
‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’
‘kyotani,,, kentarou’
you smiled
‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’
‘i know’
he mumbled but you didnt catch it
‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’
he hummed
he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you
kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-
once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered
he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down
‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’
you paused then sighed
‘i dont know. ill figure something out’
but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on
after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’
‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’
you just stared at this guy
‘how-’
‘just a guess’
he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension
and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist
‘so what do i do, then?’
‘tell them-’
‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’
‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’
the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash
‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’
kyo was disgusted
all this for that stupid idiot captain?
‘youre dumber than i thought’
you weakly hit him at the arm
‘so mean, kyo-san’
‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’
you glared and linked your fingers together
‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’
‘just tell them, kid. less problems’
then he stood up to leave
‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’
but you were panicking
someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team
and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player
you were so surprised that you stopped breathing
‘kyo-san,,,’ 
you muttered and he glared at you
well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly
‘yo’
oikawa was surprised at this interaction
‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’
you nodded, still looking at the blonde
‘i-uh’
‘its none of your business’
kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief
maybe your secret would be safe
you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut
your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape
ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem
but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him
you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you
this created a soft of protectiveness around you
sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you
and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off
aww hes so cute
ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 
until that one day
it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it
iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise
‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’
oikawa? late?
that was unheard of
you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm
miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair
you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively
‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’
oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl
‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’
at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name
you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him
‘don’t, kyo-san’
‘the bitch-’
‘i know. but please, dont’
you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder
aggressively cares for you
‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’
‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’
oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him
you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked
‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’
the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension
kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes
‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’
tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl
‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’
you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it
‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’
but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince
oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl
‘oi! kyotani!’
he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating
iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa
‘kyo-san, calm-’
‘you! be quiet’
he shouted, finger pointing at you
‘and you!’
before pointing to oikawa
‘you are a shitty captain’
‘kyotani!’
iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now
mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED
oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked
‘we’ll talk about this later’
‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’
iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door
she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani
‘kyotani, what the hell was that’
oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle
then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes
‘either you tell him or i will’
can we just talk about how protective kyo is?
you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest
‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’
‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’
‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’
oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up
‘y/n-chan, what is going on’
‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’
coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look
to say the least, miyo was pissed
and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does
she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you
girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!
and thats exactly what she did
only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes
‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’
the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you
they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released
as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side
‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’
you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare
‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’
‘i said-’
but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you
her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip
‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’
‘SHUT UP!’
kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you
his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight
‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’
the boy shrugged from the side 
‘i dont know. shes late though’
oh god
‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’
kunimi paused to remember before answering
‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’
that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere
‘SHIT!’
he shouted before bolting out the door
ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him
‘kyotani!’
‘kyoken-chan?!’
they followed him, who was running as fast as he can
the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building
it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him
‘YOU-!’
he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you
blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form
‘kyo-!’
‘kyotani!’
your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry
the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught
kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you
oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words
all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry
now multiply that by the entire team
‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’
mattsun seethed
‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’
the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist
‘how long’
miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist
‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’
iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last
‘s-s-since l-last month’
you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt
‘please dont’
‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’
oikawa coldly reprimanded
‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’
‘got it, boss’
if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you
your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office
rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls
the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises
‘i told you so’
he mumbled and you scoffed
‘howd you find me anyways?’
‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’
he answered
no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word
eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years
‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’
oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed
you looked down and fiddled with your fingers
‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’
iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath
‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’
you nodded but your tears fell
‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’
‘stop apologizing, y/n’
‘sorry’
‘y/n!’
you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt
‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’
‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’
watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug
‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’
oikawa babie you are so mature like what-
what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own
‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’
‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’
‘iwa-san?’
‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’
silence
‘WHAT?!’
‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’
‘WHAT?!’
‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’
‘WHAT?!’
a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general
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tyunni · 2 years
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(imma try to make my asks shorter lol cuz i feel bad for taking up sm room on your blog dkdjdkjd) oooh that’s fun! i love kids lol i have a job as a teacher assistant and i work with kids that are like 4-6 years old 🥺 oH which is where i got the inspo for that one riki drabble with lil yn kissing lil riki on the cheek and stuff lol. that actually happened in one of the classes 😭 it was so cute skdjsjsj
how did you learn english btw? and ugh i totally understand. english grammar is SUPER confusing. even as a native speaker, sometimes i question my own grammar lol. so i always admire ppl who learn english when it’s not their native language, esp when they’re as fluent as you! <3 srsly
and i’ve heard of georgia. idk much about it tho lol. i only know of it bc when i was in grade 8, for fun (literally FOR FUN 💀 SKSJSK), i memorized all of the countries of the world and where they’re located on a map lol i was a huge nerd ig skjdksjd so yeah i’m familiar with georgia but ik like nothing about it sksjsk and the alphabet is sooo pretty pLS. is it an easy alphabet to learn? like compared to english let’s say lol
naur really? my vocab has impressed you??! whEN?? sksjsdkjs i remember in your work there were words that impressed me lol which is another reason why i find it so hard to believe eng isn’t your first language!!!! naurrr thank you 🥺 your def one of the vv talented writers on here too, i’m serious. also also! the long hc in your drafts (did you say it was a hc? lol i can’t remember already skdjskd im soRRY) idk if you’ve talked about it more before bc i’m literally terrible at keeping up w things but mind me asking what it’s about? 👀😏
HELP PLS DONT WORRY ABT THE SPACE ON MY BLOG😞😞 i have over 1.5k posts alr and its literally just me screaming and crying so we're good dwdw
AND PLEASE THATS SO CUTE :( i love kids too but theyre such a pain in the ass sometimes, especially the very young ones like 2-5 years old cuz during that age they're more... actuve ig :/ HOW DO U EVEN TAKE CARE OF THEM I WOULD'VE GONE MAD HELSPSMNS
and we learn english at school, from grade 1 up until grade 12 but the level is VERY LOW. we use the same A2-3 or smth levels EVERY SINGLE YEAR so it gets very infuriating as someone who's i guess ahead of everyone else because i know all that stuff already 😭😭😭 and yeah english grammar is a bit confusing but it's nothing compared to russian AND ESPECIALLY GEORGIAN GRAMMAR. as a native speaker,,,, yeah georgian grammar is fucking hell. it may look simple but it's far more difficult than english, german, italian, french & all that jazz :/ its a very difficult langauge overall. sometimes even i'm not fluent in it, that's how difficult the grammar is 😭😭
also grade 8 u was insane bcuz WHY?? WOULD U DO THAT 😞😞 i can't even memorize the name of my own country were you okay??? and yeah our culture is actually very unique and just overall based more on the artistic side. we have our own dances, singing, our own food, clothing and a very very long history. we may be small but we have definitely kept our traditions throughout the centuries and i'm very proud of that, so that stuff is also very hard to get used to when it comes to foreigners visiting or even moving here because it's VERY different from other places. as for the alphabet oH GOD NO ITS DEFINITELY VERY HARD TO LEARN, we spend at least 4 years with different types of textbooks that are specifically made to learn how to write the letters with step-by-step tutorials and guides. we also have some letters shortened a bit like ლ,დ so it's even more confusing for people who aren't fluent to read what we write 😭😭 and as the years pass everyone develops their own calligraphy (which is even more unique because of our strange alphabet) yet we can still somehow understand what the other is writing? it's very weird and definitely not an easy language or an alphabet to learn for foreigners.
ALSO YEAH WHAT IM WRITING IS KINDA?? HEADCANONS??? bulletpoints? idfk atp its a mixture of drabble + headcanon + bulletpoint and i had the time of my life writing it but now im too lazy to proofread (which i probably wont do at the end of the day OOPS) and write for the two members that i have left :///// and i'll give sort of a hint (?) it has smth to do with enhypen and highschool 😋😋 the rest is up to your imagination (well until it's released ofc) its smth that i haven't really done before cuz i usually do normal bulletpoints so it's kinda hard for me but Oh well there's a first for everything and i need to step out of my comfort zone sometimes 😈💪
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merakiui · 3 years
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Im obsessed with the idea of an amnesiac reader who’s frustrated over the lack of memories and the pervading sense of loss and overwhelming imposter syndrome bc they fear they’ll never get better nor remember- so they’ll never be the same person everyone keeps going on, and on, and on about. Like i get in the XReader fics we focus on the character’s perspective but we only get to care so far as the amnesia affects their relationship, not the Reader’s loss of self and how they’re kinda the same person but at the same time theyre not.. Its fun when they have lovers but they dont feel the same bc... no memories = no history = no love. Idk. Its a fun trope for me.
It’s a very neat trope!!! Not only is it difficult for the one with the amnesia, it’s tough because the yandere now has to work to rekindle the bond they once had. In some cases, it can be considered a ‘do-over’ because if the yandere had a tense relationship with their darling they can start anew and make it better than it was before. It’s also a way for the yandere to make their own personality seem softer than it actually is. In reality, it’s all barbed wire and dark obsession, but the yandere is going to show their darling that everything’s sunshine and cotton candy clouds!
Another reason why I find this trope so interesting is because of how it can play out. The more time the darling spends with the yandere, the more they get to know them. And perhaps there are some moments where they have a sinking suspicion that they’ve gone through this before or they know more than their mind is letting them remember. All of their memories are so blank and it’s such a struggle to stop and simply remember. Maybe at some point they recall certain events in pieces and it’s like one confusing puzzle, where they try to fit these fragments into vacant spaces in hopes that it’ll all work out.
It’ll be quite a surprise if the darling does happen to remember at least some of the yandere’s original personality and their motives, but some darlings never remember at all. And they’re stuck feeling like they shouldn’t be the person they are now; they’re different but they don’t know what makes them different. With so many scrambled memories, it’s hard to determine who they once were.
As for the love part, it’s difficult because the yandere claims to love their darling but the darling has trouble reciprocating that love because the person they’re with is practically a stranger to them. And it’s so strange to say ‘I love you’ to a person you’ve never met before.
There’s lots of drama and angst to be found in this concept, especially from the darling’s perspective as they struggle to come to terms with who they are—and even then they might not even fully accept it.
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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years
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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
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clumsyclifford · 3 years
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u know what. i will give u all the lore u want. i’m 18, will be 19 decently soon so we are close to the same age. also the other band was r5. i have sent u asks about them and tde in the past. i followed you for atl content and got whiplash when u started posting about the first band i ever loved. i was like 10 when their first album dropped i have been around for entirely too long. i had a wattpad account and wrote r5 fanfic from the tender age of like 11-13. i discovered 5sos i don’t even remember how but i think the funniest part about it is that i never really got into their music?? i got into them as people by watching like interviews and compilations. and i mean at this point that was a While ago. SPEAKING OF FANFIC i did that like ao3 year in review thing like a month ago??? and you were my top author of the year so far. i read a lot of fic on ao3. your fics are very lovely and some of my favs. moving on. will not lie my music taste is kinda embarrassing and has barely changed since i was like 14 lmfao. been listening to a lot of waterparks lately. have been since their album dropped in may. i essentially go through phases of listening to solely one artist. or one playlist i made. most recently my taste has consisted of a lot of all time low, waterparks, paramore + hayley’s solo music (it really had to grow on me BUT now that it has it is very good), also been on a nostalgic r5 kick as well. hot take it has been quite difficult for me to get into tde’s music and i don’t really know why. some songs i absolutely adore (omg plz don’t come around is my fav by them. also scared of heights, feel you now, welcome to the end of your life are top songs too) but others i’m just. i have never liked preacher man and it’s the first song they released after they rebranded in like 2017. i love to see them finally free to do what they love music-wise but some of it is just. hard to listen to. i’m supposed to see them live in november (like 4 days before my birthday, kinda cool) and it’s the second time the show has been rescheduled so hopefully it happens. i’ve seen them live before but not since they rebranded. they’re dropping an album in october that i will have like a month to learn so it better be a fucking banger. now i’m just rambling about tde because i love ross and rocky with my entire being. rydel is annoying these days tho. also she named her baby fucking SUPER what kind of name is that why would you do that to a child. anyways. you ever need useless random r5 lore, i’m the person to ask. it’s the effect of being around to like a band for like 8 years. in conclusion my music taste? terrible. a cluster fuck. i will listen to luke’s solo album next time i’m focusing on a task because i like listening to new music when i’m concentrating on something. there’s some other bella lore for the day. - other bella
OH ALSO yeah idk. i’m currently on mobile. when i looked at your blog on mobile the first time last night it was blue. but now it’s pink. i have yet to see it on desktop but when i do i am sure it will be equally as pretty. - other bella again
hell YES some other bella lore. let's dig in
oooooh how soon? whens your birthday? 👀👀👀
ahhh yes i do remember the r5 asks !!!! that was a fun little era of clumsyclifford content huh. dont worry i wrote 1d fic on wattpad from ages 11-13 as well sooo same hat. that is super funny tho actually that you never bothered to listen to their music u really were staying loyal to r5 good for you
ao3 year in review???????????? say more?????? what is this?????????? thats very flattering regardless omg im going to ask you what your favorites are because im a leo just kidding its because i crave validation and im curious what ones you read/have read. also thank you for reading my fics lol
oh yeah theres a new parx album!! i dont listen actively to them but i really like all the parx music i know. im scared to get really into them because im genuinely afraid to fall in love with awsten knight. like im not joking thats the reason. i have to listen to more of their music tho cos i really enjoy what i know so...if you have recs...👀 i'm listening
mm thats a good lineup of music to listen to!! paramore is another band i never got super into, i meant to and then i listened to all of riot and then i learned that hayley williams is like pretty christian and that a few paramore songs are more christian than i anticipated and now i'm like. on the fence about it all. but i wanna listen to after laughter i just havent gotten around to it yet. and i did like riot. i like paramore. i like dead horse by hayley, i didnt like the other single she released, and i didnt listen to her solo music because i didnt like the first single so im not sure if i would actually like it? i am accepting vibe checks in that category though i dont really know what kinda music it is. actually now that im thinking about it doesnt she have two albums now???? i feel like the answer is yes. anyway. moving on
that is very fair the thing abt the tde stuff is that it's all so interesting and so different from every other tde song like they really just do something unique in each song which i think is awesome but also makes it hard to like every song bc it's not like one universal vibe you kinda have to decide for each song if you're enjoying it or not. i do LOVEEEE tde though, im very jealous that you're seeing them perform. although i dont know why im not, just looked it up and theyre gonna be in new york on november 24th which is a sunday so i miiiight.....be able to go.......maybe...........their website says the 25th which is a monday so maybe i was under the impression the show was on a monday?? but the ticket site says sunday. 👀 we will just...have to see......what we see.............
ANYWAY
RIGHT im so excited for their album i was mistakenly thinking it was coming out the same night as luke's but it was just the new single which i really liked on a first listen but have to listen to again cos ive only heard it the one time. but i hope it fucks. they announced that the album is called girlfriend which personally i think is really fun so i have high hopes
SHE NAMED HER CHILD FUCKIN WHAT NOW???????????????
wait eight years thats a long time but also thats roughly how long ive been around 1d wtf........insane. madness. and in fairness probably roughly how long ive been around 5sos but i took a hiatus from both of those bands during high school so im not sure how much i can count all of those years. ive been around all time low for six years though, that's pretty good. anywayyyy i hope you like luke's album but no pressure man listen whenever you feel like it. LOVE YOU
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Season 4 notes
Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want
big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt
kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.
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togglepawz-moved · 4 years
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LISA: the grim
owo whats this......a lisa fangame? well, actually, a potential lisa fangame, but yknow.
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lisa: the grim is a hypothetical lisa fangame abt 2 men, bentley n donald, who meet through a twist of fate. they accidentally wander on2 enemy gang territory n get attacked after hearing the cries of a distressed child n wanting 2 investigate. after slaughtering countless gang members, they finally find the source of the screams. a badly beaten n anxious little girl tied 2 a tree.
ben n don decide that they must find a safer place 2 raise the girl, named greer, no matter how hard it will b 2 do so. along the way they keep being confronted by the brothers, the enemy gang they stumbled across b4 finding greer, n the leader of the gang, simply known as “the true brother,” wants the girl all 2 himself.
characters:
bentley wickerbach
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bentley wickerbach, also known simply as ben, is considered by most 2 b a starving artist, often doing graffiti on the walls of caves n such rather than taking care of himself. hes heavily inspired by the works of banksy, n has been since a young age. his mother died due 2 complications after childbirth, n his father died after a botched surgery 2 get rid of a tumor in the right side of his neck, leaving him 2 live with his aunt (she wasnt abusive or anything, she rlly did try. she was just extremely poor). art is a coping mechanism 4 the childhood trauma he had 2 go thru, n so he dedicates his life 2 it. hes brutally honest, serious, n tends 2 b sarcastic sometimes. also hes trans n gay bc yeah lol.
donald frances
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donald frances, or don, legitimately cant b described in a serious way. i cant capture the essence of his being w/o saying “hes chaotic neutral n cursed as fucking hell” bc thats exactly what he is. hes just gay n likes pranking ppl. probably eats cereal w/ a fork. like, he just fucking stabs it in there. hes an absolute utter dumbass n thats why ben both loves n hates him. a complete fucking disaster gay. like if u look up disaster gay in the dictionary he’ll b there. n no, i never said as a picture.
greer (wow no surname)
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greer is a mysterious case, being 1 of the only females left in olathe after the flash. shes young, n with that comes a natural curiosity 4 her age. the only thing holding her back is her debilitating anxiety. she struggles w/ trauma she cant remember thanks 2 the fact that the blows that were inflicted 2 her head during her time w/ the brothers caused very bad amnesia. she couldnt remember anything by the time ben n don found her, except 4 her own name. she uses a makeshift scythe made out of wood n an old, decaying tooth from a mutants carcass. she cant remember where her locket is from (yet again, thanks 2 her amnesia), but its very special 2 her. she babbie
the true brother
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the true brother, being the main antagonist, is always there 2 try n slow ben n don down. hes cold, vindictive, n tough, making him a difficult opponent in battle. a very proud leader of his gang. hes always attempting 2 recruit ppl he thinks might have potential. yes, the skull is real. yes, those r teeth/claws on his shoulder pads. he may have some connection 2 ben...
the mysterious stranger
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an ominous figure who has been following ben around. they dont ever try 2 actively hurt him, they just...stalk him. the skull they wear indicates that theyre affiliated w/ the brothers, but other than that they dont appear 2 b a threat.
other things:
the ability to graffiti things on2 walls n stuff. it wouldnt rlly add 2 the plot but yknow. it would b fun.
homoeroticism. lots of it.
exploration of mental illness and trauma. especially thru ben n greer.
u get 2 kill child predators. or, the brothers.
baby holds a scythe. babys 1st murder victim.
all original sprites n backgrounds. ok mayb not the backgrounds part but i wanna test out my sprite-making skills ok.
original music. not all of it but there will b original music.
idk u get 2 hug greer. hug babey
im. uh
its planned that it will b available 4 free on gamejolt or something if i ever make it but idk. if i ever make this itll b my 1st full length fangame so it will definitely not b perfect. is anything ever perfect, tho?
what do i put @ the end im sorry guys no 1 ever taught me how 2 talk
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godrics · 4 years
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NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY
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gif made by x
NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY
UNDER READ MORE  (bc it’s actually really long now that im on tumblr)
okay so the concert started with the vcr/video from the dream show ..
rory's little scene was her as a teacher !!! so cute
OOH and then the transition into her into her teacher clothes into a suit .. thats my girl
her hair is still like this. much more vibrant than it was because she redyed it oops
first song was GO!! change ur ways
she was wearing this [ black cargo pants, a black crop top, belt, along with chains lmao idk how to describe. oh and black boots ] for go, drippin', we go up, and stronger performances!
it was kind of awkward at first but then she saw nctzens' faces so she was happy
"to the world, this is the nct! we are nct dream”
she clapped excitedly, jumping up and down
"beyond the dream show~"
when haechan asked the time where the fans were, she read the comments, squinting funnily at the screen before gasping
"one of the czennies said it was 3am!"
the other boys gasped in shock before clapping slightly
"thank you for watching us even though it's 3am!" rory said to the fans. "but go to bed as soon as this is over~ or whenever you're feeling tired, that's okay too!"
"for our global fans, we prepared something special, right?" haechan said and rory nodded, smiling
"so we prepared our greeting in various languages"
rory's greeting was in french! fans went crazy bc she sounded SO good and her pronounciation was good too
after that she says, "renjun took english from me" in english and playfully glared at the older boy who laughed.
she turned to the fans and said, "but um, wendy-unnie taught me that so .. if it sounds bad it's all her fault." she claps as the other boys laugh
when they were talking about how they felt, rory said "i watched superm and wayv's concerts so i was excited because i knew we'd hear from the fans just like they were here with us in person. they were really loud, too" and laughs
when renjun told them to scream, she hit him lightly and said "yah, don't you remember what i just said? some fans it's 3am there!"
"oh dont scream then," renjun laughed, making her laugh before she went back to waving at the fans as they waved their lightsticks
when the fans appeared behind them, her eyes widened and she immediately ran to the screen, waving in all directions
she noticed when she got close to a fan's screen, they'd start waving their hand/lighstick even harder and it made her laugh
"rory, come back!" jaemin laughed, tugging her with him back to where the other 5 were
"wow, pretty grass" rory mocked mark as she stared at the lightsticks where the audience were supposed to be and on the screens
haechan had to hide a laugh
then there was we go up performance
woo fun
then stronger! she loves that song is2g
okay for the next vcr
she was in a school uniform standing in between jeno and jaemin
"you guys suck," rory laughed, watching the boys try to succeed
when renjun comes over and succeeds in under one minute and one hand, she gasped in shock lightly before watching him walk away coolly and put his head back down on the desk
jaemin nudged her as she laughed, "you guys are just losers!"
and then it ends on her walking over to renjun and bending down to face him and tapping him on the shoulder
he jumps from how close she is and she laughs, grinning at him, "that was cool" before going back over to the boys and he watches her
next video of the vcr oo
she gets hit in the head by the basketball(she's after chenle) and luckily saves it before it falls to the ground and throws it towards the basket, renjun jumping up to hit it in
why is she always getting hit in the head rip rory's head
next performance is dunk shot!!!
she hated the outfits tho jfc
she was wearing white loose shorts that ended midthigh and a pink button up over a white t-shirt
yeah super plain im so sorry rory that the stylists did you dirty like that
(to be fair the boys looked bad too like what was that matching .. there was NONE)
NEXT IS CHEWING GUM!!
AND THERE WERE HOVERBOARDS
SHE MISSED THE HOVERBOARDS SO MUCH
she hyped up jisung so loud during his solo dance
and had a huge ass smile on her face during it
she was in the middle of renjun and chenle at the bottom
AND THEY LEFT A SPACE FOR MARK IN BETWEEN JAEMIN AND JISUNG SHE ALMOST CRIED
"i think chenle changed the most" rory laughed, talking about the difference from now and almost four years ago when they debuted
"you changed a lot, too" chenle poked her and she huffed out a laugh, choosing not to respond to him and shook her head
when it was time for the interactions, she had to hide her wince because since she watched wayv and superm's, she was worried about how it would go because some fans' wifi connections were bad(so were sm's but anyways--)
oh luckily the first fan spoke korean !!
"hi!" she waved excitedly at the fan
when the fan said her name, she quietly repeated it to herself but it was still heard from the mic
"there's a song called 7 days in your album. what do you guys mean to each other?"
rory's mouth went dry at that question as she rubbed her hands together, looking at the boys silently as they ahhed and oohed
she smiled slightly as she saw how big their smiles got at the question
chenle said that the members were his family. they're literally siblings
she laughed at that
hyuck said that the members were apart of himself and that he grew up with all of them
jisung said bc they're older than him, they're like his younger siblings
rory had to look away in order to not laugh at his answer LMFAO
she couldnt contain how big her smile got when jaemin said that he couldn't live without them
she literally almost cried from tears of laughter from jeno's answer "onion"
renjun said that the members are youth to him
and him bringing up the stupid bottle to his face . i s2g she quickly yanked that from him so quick while laughing
and then finally it was her turn
"um, thank you for the question, siyoung!" she clapped slightly before continuing. "to me, the members are .. my childhood" she nodded slightly as she spoke. "we all grew up together so each of them have a piece of my childhood that i dont want to leave"
renjun pulls her into a side hug as jeno says "cute~"
wolfies(rory's stans) cried
when the fan said she'd stick with nct dream seven days a week, she laughed from the sudden overwhelming feeling at her words and bowed towards the fan, keeping her eyes to the ground so the camera wouldn't catch her teary eyes
too bad the camera did once she looked back up
"nct dream have 8 members--" when haechan said that, rory smiled big and nodded her head
"infinity" rory cheered, the members following behind
the next caller was up!
"ooh, poland" rory smiled
the fans question was "what are your biggest dreams" which she translated for them
rory's answer was "i have no doubt that nct dream will stay together forever so ... i my biggest dream is nctzens staying with us forever. even when we all grow up and have our own lives, i hope nctzens will some day think of nct dream and smile"
jaemin literally walked over and pinched her cheek, cooing at how cute she was
rory rolled her eyes playfully but let him
ah yes to this day he's still the only one she'll allow to give her skinship in public
rip other boys
she felt so sad when the third caller's connection was bad
"ah ... difficult technicalities"
she put a thumbs down
anyways next was don't need your love!!!
she LOVES this song so much guys its unreal
her place at the start is right in between renjun and jisung again lmao
shes leaning against chenle and jaemin
she loves hearing the boys' english btw
also in this version she has more lines but im not gonna tell which ones that's too much work
and next is we young!!
watching the part when they take a pic .. made me cry so it made rory very nostalgic
rory's wearing a professional suit but like . with a skirt i forgot what its called rip
she's standing in between hyuck and jeno
when jaemin laughs she laughs
she has that pic in her phone case btw
along with an ot8 pic
when they're talking abt the 50 years later OO im gonna . cry again
"so we can see how we change"
"um, we're gonna look older" rory laughed
btw grandma rory literally still looks good as hell sorry i dont make the rules
rory: "chenle would look like steve jobs but like .. chinese"
chenle was so offended bye
rory: "jisung if you grow a mustache i will never forgive you"
"wHY DOES IT MATTER?????"
"bc you'd look stupid i cant be seen with someone looking stupid"
the other pic where renjun jumps .. her face is literally so genuinely shocked in that pic LMAO she didnt expect that
NEXT IS BEST FRIENDS OH MY GODD I LOVED IT SO DID SHE
SHE JUST WISHED MARK WAS THERE .. AND HE KINDA WAS
btw she was wearing a black blazer but it was shorter .. and another black skirt with a white crop top underneath rip
OKAY HYERI MADE NCTZENS CRY SO HARD
so theyre uneven rn right?
so instead of her being a third wheel(not really)
when it's her part, she's backstage and as she's doing her part, she reached into an open closet and .. pulls out a cutout board of mark :((
yeah she cried too when she thought of it and luckily sm let her!!
at the end of her part towards the end of the song, she smiles and says, "right, mark-oppa?" and forms half a heart up to the camera
(taeyong later sends her a video of mark reacting to her parts and when she does the heart he puts half a heart up next to hers <3)
next is candle light! they dont really have a choreo to this one either
anyway candle light wouldnt have been her first choice bc she'd prefer to perform dear dream .. BUT ANYWAY
next is PUZZLE PIECE and 7 DAYS!!
the camera catches her and jisung doing their little handshake . so cute
she then hugs chenle so he wouldnt feel left out
end posing of puzzle piece, she's in between chenle and jisung AGAIN SLDJDJL
they form a heart with her doing the bottom and chenle and jisung doing the top/sides
when they read the comments after performing jeno reads one that says "rory is so talented, her vocals are so good"
and then hyuck read "rory's parts in best friends was so cute"
she blushes so cute
when they talk abt the album
rory says in english, "thank you for supporting us and we hope you guys enjoyed listening to the album as much as we enjoyed making it .. think of it as our gift to you for always loving us!!" cute baby. and then gives a little finger heart
special guest is mark, jungwoo, and doyoung!!
she expected mark but was surprised about jungwoo and doyoung
she couldnt stop smiling the whole time because literally all she had to do was see 127 and smile immediately like they dont even got to do anything
the technical difficulties .. rory said in english again "i think you need to get your wifi checked, mark"
"no mark-oppa?" he teased and she laughed
when they were complimenting them, jungwoo said that mark really enjoyed rory's parts in best friends and she full out giggled from nervousness, blushing from embarrassment
doyoung complimented her vocals and rap and shes never been so proud of herself
compliments from 127? her greatest achievement
jungwoo then said she was so cute wow more blushing
she found the challenge boring and wouldve preferred if 127 picked the damn challenge themselves bc then it wouldve been funnier and more fun but alas .. sm >:(
she picked puzzle piece tho
THE FUCKING NEXT VCR .. so emotional when she watched over it
she literally just watched her and her friends grow up in literal seconds
there's a clip of her from chewing gum on mark's back while he's riding the hoverboard
.. also somehow they got a clip of her hugging jaemin when he came back sigh
emotional manipulation!! she was kinda pissed that was in there bc it was supposed to be private but what can she do .. it's sm
there's a video of her chasing jeno during we young era while on the mv set
and another one of renjun literally dragging her on the ground because she wouldnt let go of his legs in mfal era
in mfal era she's seen running over chenle when he's out of their little cars
its funny he almost fell if jeno didnt catch him LMAO
but its ok dont fret he was in the grass
mfal era where hyuck tries to make a basket but fails and she steals the ball from him and makes it in .. he pouted FOREVER after that
the video of them in chewing gum era and then goes to ridin' era ..
her clip is her smiling shyly at the camera WITH HER CUTE PIGTAILS OH MYGODDD SO SOFT SO BABY
and then it goes to her in ridin' era with her leaning against the car and a lollipop in her mouth, staring dead straight at the camera somehow intimidatingly
n then ofc the music changes and the videos go more recent
theres clips of her behind the scenes in we young, go, dnyl, and boom
also some of her at that dream show concert
the ridin' stage was prerecorded but anyway she's wearing the same outfit she does in the mv
she saw a clip of the car cg and she yelled at the members jokingly saying it almost ran her over
wearing same outfit for quiet down which was live
they had one more song after :( she was really sad and she made sure nctzens knew that
"i wish we could perform more songs for you guys but .. only one more :(" and then sighed really loudly
"i wish you guys were here in person as well but your health is way more important and until then .. well, hopefully we can see each other again in the future! i miss seeing all your pretty faces" she then pouted as the other members oohed loudly and she laughed
after the other members continue she then reminds them all to "wash their hands and wear their masks over their noses if they have to go out"
when renjun says bonjour her eyes widen and she says "wow, so you stole my english and now my french?" she jokingly raises her hand to hit him but all he does is laughs and grabs her hand to 'stop her'
last is boom!
they shouldve performed dear dream or mfal but i guess booms good too not like they havent had to hear that song for 9 months
anyways
at the end she sneakily gives the camera a finger heart
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fairy-made · 4 years
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do yall remember that one horror game w the pixel art style called dont chat with strangers? its so good, it stuck with me bc its so creepy. I feel like what you believe after you experience it is what makes it so scary. because playing through it is so weird and difficult and you dont really know whats going on.
spoilers!
its the one where its night time and you start a chat w a random girl named lucy online. and it seems really normal at first but if you leave the computer at the wrong time or say the wrong thing you end up dying suddenly. 
my theory is that you killed her in a hit and run but tried to pretend like nothing happened. or maybe you witnessed her death in a hit and run but didnt report anything and tried to forget it ever happened? so you and ‘lucy’ are talking and you have to get all these minor interactions right and win a little mini game. until you find out where her corpse is, and bury her properly within a certain amount of time (before she stops playing a song on the piano or smth)??? I dont remember fully but that game terrified me. like. its so morbid. what happened to lucy??? why does she put so much on this random dude we’re playing as?? why does the dude we’re playing as seem so nonchalant?? sometimes her ghost will creep up behind you and hug you instead of killing you, WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? is lucy really a stranger?? because she very well could be, or it could just be that the player forgot about her. she is basically killing you at the drop of a hat sometimes, but rewarding you for acting appropriately at others. its hard to tell if you know her or not. also again. the hug, what is that about?! would she really hug you if you were the one who killed her??  
and like. if you witnessed someone get killed in a hit and run and didnt say anything, I kinda think that it would make sense if you were forced to give that person’s ghost a short but fun experience up until you gave them a burial/funeral of sorts. because you wouldve been the only one they could rely on to do it properly, since obviously their killer fled, and only 3 people even know theyre dead. its so fucking spooky. you have to be really kind to lucy, and sometimes even despite that youll still be killed suddenly. you dont really know if lucy likes you and wants something like friendship, or if she hates you but is giving you a chance to redeem yourself. or if she could just be inflicting this all on a total stranger, all on whims that may or may not be unpredictable. like shes seeking out kind interactions from you, the punishment for not complying is death, and you have no definitive idea why. maybe you killed her. maybe someone else did and you saw it but didnt help. maybe you dont know anything but shes picked you to see what happened to her, and is making you be the one to bury her??! idk idk!!
anyway. if you havent heard of it you should watch it or play it if you like these kinds of spooks. its like, getting killed suddenly isnt whats scary about it. (well it is but you get used to dying every 5 seconds after a certain point.) its the fact that you think about why this is all happening and youre like.... holy shit. what. happened??? 
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pogasm · 4 years
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1: Biggest pet peeve?
HEARING CHEWING oh my gosh(and snoring, and people breathing loud)
2: Cute story about the person you like?
we danced together once, i almost died inside. idk how she didnt notice i was blushing
3: Best date story?
the only dates i have is with unimportant people
4: Funny experience with your friends?
we were filming a tiktok nd she was on a trampoline and she fell. on her face. 
5: Favorite song at the moment?
too many to count
6: Favorite movie at the moment?
imagine watching a movie? cant realate
7: Favorite TV shows?
b99, chilling andventures of sabrina, big mouth(dont judge me)
8: Turn ons?
old man toes, consent
9: Turn offs?
young man toes, no consent
10: Best surprise story?
my mom thought she was going to have male and female twins but i vored my brother. Surprise!
11: How you were asked to be a girlfriend/boyfriend?
he was like ‘wanna date’ and i said sure. i did not like him. i regretted it.
12: Cutest thing anyone has done for you?
giving me stuff they made with their own hands, cooking with me, going shopping together
13: Nicest compliment you’ve ever received?
people should just stop giving me compliments. i dont like it. i cant remember any valid compliment
14: why do you hate the person you hate how?
he wants people to inject themselve with uv rays and lysol
15: Best physical feature of the person you like?
eyes
16: Best characteristic of the person you like?
funny
17: Best breakfast to have?
pancakes i make myself, choccy milk, pineapples
18: Your idea of the perfect date?
okay hear me out hear me out…. it’s a drive in movie. something scary is playing! we brought snacks. we hold hands. yeah i said it.(wow, hive mind) the stars are out, and after the movie we go stargazing, and then raid walmart because were hungy!. the end.
19: Baddest thing you’ve ever done?
shoplifted nailpolish
20: How many languages do you know?
3 fluently, 2 non fluently
21: Do you play any instruments?
i want to learn how to play geetar. then maybe drums. i took piano lessons when i was younger. i learned nothing
22: Most difficult situation you’ve ever been in?
any situation where i have to make a decision. being in the same place as my family when theyre being homophobic
23: Sweetest text you’ve ever received?
i really dont know. once one of my friends told me that i was a great friend and she really appreciated me and i was like ‘bitch where?’
24: Any secret obsessions you have?
i dont talk about it often, but i want to have lauren jauregui’s babies
25: Meanest thing you’ve ever told someone?
your next child will be stillborn.
26: Earliest memory of your life?
my fifth birthday, it was a private school where everyone wore uniforms, but it was my bday so i wore a dress. there was cake and soda. i got a sugar high
27: what do you wanna be when you grow up?
something in the medical field, foresic biologist, or coroner. or journalist.
28: Any celebrity crushes?
lauren jauregui, the person that played rosa diaz in b99, hozier. bernie sanders.
29: Something you can never live without?
friends, books, phone
30: Daily ritual you have?
everyday im like ‘wow, i want to paint’ then i remember i left all my art stuff in jeff
31: Any special jewelry?
i like rings. and chains that dangle, but not heavy ones.
32: If you can have one wish, what would it be?
rewind to october 2019. it was a pretty nice month. halloween.
33: Naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?
i stole a juice box from the fridge, i drank mt dads alchohol(i was 8) i did a strip show for old men(i was also 8)
34: Any struggles you are currently dealing with?
all the sturggles. 
35: what/who do you miss the most?
EMMA. and my life in october 2019. 
36: In your opinion, the best thing about love?
the feeling of it being mutual. being connected to your so. being domestic with them
37: In your opinion, the worst thing about love?
its hard to figure out sometimes i think. when the person u love hurts u, it hurts bad.
38: Your opinion on cheating?
people who cheat deserve the guillotine
39: Most inspirational thing you’ve ever been told?
“fuck bitches get money”
40: Scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?
oh god oh fuck i had a dream where i slept with a straight male
41: Any fears about the future?
Being a bad parent. being stuck with my family, not picking the right career, not getting into college, living too long
42: Any fears in general?
straight males. straight people in general
43: Regret anything?
Who doesn’t regret things? it’s a part of living.
44: if you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
Physically i’d make myself taller and better hair. mentally, i dont wanna get into that long list. And get rid of procrastination.
45: Best way to your heart?
 cook me stuff. actually like me for me. like the food i cook. cook with me. move into the woods and live in a cabin with a moss yard and 3 cats. be nice
46: Your opinion on young love?
Go for it, babey! yolo
47: Most fun thing you have done this year?
leaving my house in the middle of quarantine without a mask or gloves. #rebel
48: What would you do for a klondike bar?
idek what that is.
49: Do you believe in love at first sight?
i beleive in infatuation at first sight that turns into love. kinda like love at first sight but not
50: Tell a random fact about yourself.
i can balance a phone on my boob while balancing a book on my head and books on my hands while sitting upright. all at the same time
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shakingsphere · 5 years
Text
um i need a distraction so heres a question thing that yall are supposed to send to me but i just answered all of them if ur interested
Alisons: Sexuality?
straight i think
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
she/her cis
Amaryllis: Birthday?
january 30th!
Anemone: Favorite flower?
idk what they’re called but these vine type flowers on the side of my porch!
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?
atla
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?
depends on the context, definitely nothing where they could take advantage of me
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
i hate quotes i can never remember any lmao
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
.... diet coke
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?
maybe? he didnt love me back
Baneberries: Favorite song?
vienna by billy joel
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
my parents are nice and supportive but overbearing and judgmental. my dad has a tendency to talk when its not his place and my mom is very jewish. my sister doesnt like me very much and is kind of rude. one of my brothers is really nice and the other is awful
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
I dont
Begonia: Favorite color?
green
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
red panda
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
night
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
a cat
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
an animator 
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
i love kids theyre so cute
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?
heights bc theyre scary, and unachieving because i dont want to waste my life
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
i used to play with ants a lot
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  
like if i was conscious it was my last day? i dont even know
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
single :/
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
central asia and iran
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?
when im with my friends and we’re just hanging out
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  
no ma’am i am a child of god
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  
my ear lobes and i want to get my doubles done
California Poppy: Height?  
5′3. it be like that
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
yes!!!!!!!!!!!! omg
Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  
a college sweatshirt and pj pants with penguins on them
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
when i was little....
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  
my friend hannah
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
i haven’t...
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
um lobster?
Columbine: Are you tired?
yeah lol
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?
college and moving out of state!!
Coneflower: Dream job?
something where i can use my degree lmao
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
i think im an introvert but i also might just have anxiety
Crocus: Have you ever been in love?
maybe?
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
i would take a bullet for most of my loved ones
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
yes. a tie-dyed teddy bear named tie-dye. he is my husband.
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
aquarius
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
nothing that people who arent me should remember, but i think our experiences shape us so
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
im not dead idk
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  
um id probably be upset i care about my parents approval way to much
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
my friend hannah again lol
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
public speaking!!
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
math
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
um i met my future roommate, i lost a bit of weight, and i got some cute shorts
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
stressful! 
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
no
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
join my college’s honors program and study in russia
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?
im not doing this one too tired
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 
xanax 
Hellebore: How do you show affection?
i try to tell ppl they are important to me
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
im funny i think
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
i wake up at 9:30 its 70 degrees Fahrenheit and i get lunch with some friends and then we hang out for the day
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  
im so bad about this all i do is watch youtube and study, but i love to draw and im going to start reading more
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
pretty sure its french for clear or bright (depending on the context). my mom just liked it
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
im from a suburb of kck. its a nice and safe place to grow up but i wouldnt choose to live here
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
nice, but its in the basement so the view is really bad i hate that
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  
no nope no
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
she is very smart and hardworking but very judgmental and a bit inconsiderate. she loves me very much tho
Onions: Tell about your dad.  
he is short and angry. he tends to interrupt me a lot. he is supportive of everything i do. he is stingy about money tho
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
my mother’s mom died before i was born, and my i was never close with her father. he died when i was 8. my other grandma has bad dementia and isn’t sure who i am anymore. shes presbyterian but she would send my sister and i dreidels and such for hanukkah. im told i look a lot like her. my grandfather has been very grumpy for as long as ive known him.   
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
my 13th. i had an anxiety attack and had to go home early.
Peony: What was your first job?
i was a hostess at a seafood restaurant.
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
i give myself time to process it and then just move forward i guess
Pink: Where is home?
where your sense of belonging is ig idk
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?
i would have made better grades and quit band in middle school haha 
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
i want to be happy with 2 kids and a husband and live below my means but still be comfortable 
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
nihil was a philosopher. 
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
fuck idk my dog
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
background noise when your sitting outside
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?
for everything to work out!!!  
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
very very hard
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
the internet
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
8 hours but i overslept
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
i have to
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
i dont have a job rn and thats bad
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?
my jeans from uo
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  
cool librarian or 90s mom
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?
160,000 dollars :)
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?
the cost of college!!!!
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
oof like 2. i read Dune, and Slaughterhouse Five
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
college! finishing up my first semester
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
yeah :( 
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
ive been late to ap french almost every day this semester #c’estlavie
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carnifcrous · 5 years
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could you give me a rundown on what being gender critical is? i get the basics i think but if you don’t mind explaining your views?
oh boy anon i’ll sure try!! idk if im the best person to talk about it tbh and ive confused a lot of people trying to explain my views before ahfjkfh but ill try REALLY hard to keep my adhd ass in check lmfao. if theres anything i said thats confusing & you need cleared up feel free to @ me againi dont know how long gender critical has existed as a concept, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was developed as a reaction to a certain VERY vocal part of the trans movement/trans rights activists
(so when you talk to people (trans ppl) about gender i think people usually break it down into several a few categories: gender identity, gender roles, and gender expression. i think most trans people are aware of & separate their sex from their gender identity, the identity being something innately part of every person, the roles generally speaking the bullshit that society expects & should be rejected, and gender expression really just being the traditional “feminine” or “masculine” behaviors/dress you use regardless of your innate identity.in trans circles/lgbt (merch, lol) sites i’ve seen the phrase passed around “gender is a social construct.” i think trans people who do/used to say that meant it kind of like that since gender was created by societies so it doesn’t matter how you identify/why not expand the understanding of gender (ergo, non-binary genders getting popularized). i think this fell out of popularity because it was transppls attempt to validate ourselves and conservatives cant wrap their mind around social constructs are/the distinction between sex and gender and so it wasnt really working out lmfaobut now there’s been some scientific studies getting popularized that have Suggested the existences of male & female brains and that trans ppl have the brain of their identified gender, therefore the disconnect between their brain and their body manifests as gender dysphoria. (i think the transmed community has especially taken to this idea esp because of kalvin garrah discovering these studies & now kind of preaching them as facts & science. with this comes him, his friends, and all the transmed ppl who stan him ryan and london saying that Gender Isnt Socially Constructed)then theres the posts circling around here saying Transwomen Are Women/Real Women + when the women’s march happened in america after trump got elected, i saw quite a few things on facebook where ppl were saying that all the talk of vaginas and shit were transphobic and trans-exclusionary and they should keep in mind that not all women have vaginas, etc etcthen u have what i believe (or at least hope) are outliers in the trans community being dug up (usually transwomen) who say........ The Most ridiculous shit imo. like saying theyre more of a woman than ciswomen (i’ll use cis strictly to mean not-trans in the context of this post), transwomen claiming theyre having a period, and just in general perpetuating “cotton ceiling” stuff like lesbians just needing to get over their transphobia to be with a pre-op transwoman. (again i would like to reiterate i DO NOT believe this is what the majority of transpeople believe, its just a vocal minority thats gotten attention from receipt blogs IMO.))**sorry that this post is already becoming an essay and if its derailing from the question, but this is what i think gender critical stuff is meant to react toso kind of in opposition to mainstream ideas of what gender is, i think radfems/gender critical people dont really break down gender into the different things like identity, roles and expression. from my understanding, gender was socially constructed based on sex stereotypes. i think we can all agree that stereotypes are Bad, so why should we identify with some set stereotypes?
the gender critical beliefs is that there’s not right or wrong way to be male or female (male and female in this post meaning to strictly refer to biological sex). gender is holding us back by continuing to subscribe to sex stereotypes and is counterproductive to building a society where people are free to express themselves however they like. (a lot of gender critical ppl equate gender identity with personality, and while i think this can sometimes be the case w nondysphoric people & mogai genders, it isn’t always and usually isnt, because as i mentioned before, a lot of ppl know enough to say that gender expression is something independent of gender identity.)as for my personal take on it & how it plays a part of my life (apologies that this is going to get super anecdotal):this all is related to my own transition. since questioning being trans, i fluctuated between different non-binary identities. i didnt think i was Trans Enough to call myself a transmale because i didnt want to kill myself over not having a penis (or even trans enough to call myself trans at all lol), so i thought i needed to stay as being nb. then i realized they/them pronouns did...... nothing for me. the whole time i had she/they/he or they/he in a profile i was always secretly hoping someone would just call me he lol.
but i felt like i was an insult to REAL transmen. it took me a while to realize that i didnt care too much about the specifics, i just needed to do what made me happy. that happiness was being read as male & using he/him pronouns.
but even then id still struggle. id have moments of thinking that i was just copying my best friend (who had a similar nb -> binary transmale path as me), or that i didnt even feel like a boy, that i was STILL faking being trans, that i should feel more of x y & z, that id made a mistake with starting testosterone, etc. reading radfem/gender critical stuff used to trigger the fuck out of me lmfao.i think what i eventually realized for myself and the sentiment other gender critical transppl share is that i was setting up an expectation/standard for myself that was impossible to attain. with mainstream gender theory, a cisman and i share our gender identity, our gender is the same (”cis” as its used to “identifying with your biological sex”). the thing is though, in terms of sex/gender, theres nothing i find that i have comparable to a male. i dont act like a “man” because im not one, im a TRANSman. ive lived most of my life so far as female and being socialized that way has been significant to me. i relate a lot to women and its always felt wrong to me how suddenly because im transitioning it felt to me like i was expected to revoke my right to speak on feminism/womens experiences. way before i discovered gender critical things i was pissed off at people trying to be “allies” to transpeople saying shit like “all men are trash transmen are real men so theyre trash too uwu!” like. fuck that. and fuck you for insinuating i would EVER treat a woman the way that men do.
like i know there are transmen (and just transppl in general, for that matter), who try to overcompensate with misogyny/misogynistic ideas because they think itll help them pass better but fuck
anyway. im proud of being a natal female and being socialized that way. being trans isnt exactly a party but im glad i could get the insight i have into the treatment of women and so forth. and the thing is, this isnt a contradiction to me being trans at all. once i let go of whether or not i was “male enough” of “valid” as a boy, i could once again just focus on the very concrete evidence in my life: i was EXTREMELY dysphoric about my chest. i’ve been on hrt for almost two years now and ive had top surgery. my dysphoria is almost non-existent since ive had surgery. i dont mind & even get excited about all the changes coming from being on testosterone. (dont like that i cant sing like i used to and that i’ll probably end up balding at least by my 50s if my dads head is any indication, but cismen have this problem too so whatever)
also ive never felt quite right when i was calling myself gay (exclusively attracted to men). i share some issues that gay men might, i Can be affected by homophobia because i Do pass as male, but its still not 100% the same experience and i think that distinction is importantmy concerns & how being gender critical is important to me:
me coming out as trans was a process over time. using the usual trans rhetoric, i was having difficulties explaining myself to people. specifically im thinking about my mom. when i said i was uncomfortable with being seen as a girl, she said she was uncomfortable too. she liked dressing more like a boy. some other shit she said too that i dont remember, but my basic takeaway: cispeople, particularly ciswomen, arent necessarily enthusiastically identifying with their correlated gender to their sex, because..... no reasonable person likes gender roles.
and i get worried about people like my mom who might be encouraged to identify as nonbinary just because theyre gender non-conforming. the identity itself wouldnt be much of a problem except that it seems to me like its being pretty normalized for nonbinary people to just kind of....... experiment with medical transitioning to try to achieve some Ideal androgynous form that would be.... Very difficult to achieve. i worry about people not thinking medical transitioning is a big deal and just kind of.... disregarding all the potential health consequences, how powerful testosterone is as a hormone, and so on. with the permanent changes that come people THEN end up experiencing dysphoria and life is.... really pretty difficult for detransitioned women from what i can tell, and a lot of people talk about how theres been a spike of people detransitioning lately.
i think part of the problem is 1. transmed/truscum people harassing & bullying nondysphoric trans-identified people, so they feel the need to medically transition to Prove Themselves and 2. just in general the aforementioned idea that everyone has a gender identity. i think itd be very uncommon for people to “identify” as cis, and so you get this whole mess of people thinking they need an androgynous body to match their androgynous identity......... etc.
bonus: my mom crying on her birthday because she said she didnt think shed be able to ever see me as a guy. “nonbinary, maybe, but you dont act like a boy.” problem solved, i dont act like a guy, i act like a transguy!!
also again, need to reiterate that i cant relate to men. i can never Become Male, not with our current technology. i was not socialized as male and thats okay!! its okay because im just doing what i need to in order to be comfortable with my body and myself. i dont need to worry about my dating pool seeing me as a Real Man because they can see me fully as the transman i am and my relationship with being a natal woman and just, shit like that. ive gotten a lot more comfortable with even being called she when it does happen (by accident by family members). its not a swear word to me and ive let go of a lot of expectations i thought i had to meet with being uncomfortable talking about my female organs and my past as living as a woman etc etc. im not trying to Be anything anymore. im just trying to live as myself
some of my issues with the gender critical community just as a disclaimer:
i have a lot honestly and im not going to be able to name them all off the top of my head
makes sense that it would be, but i think the community is rampant with transphobia in the sense of flattening transpeople to the “transcult” stereotype where they just..... dont seem to think of us as individuals. they think we’re all genderists getting triggered by misgendering & demanding our pronouns. they think all of us are “delusional” about our natal sex. they think we’re all gender conforming. they dont take dysphoria seriously in general, ESPECIALLY males experiencing dysphoria (i get that your feminism doesnt have to be concerned with “men” but come on). misgendering is just disrespectful to me (idgaf about rapists, whatever use whatever pronouns you feel the need for those people.)
just in general some people dont get that trans people can still exist in a post-gender world? and you can still be critical of gender while respecting people’s pronouns? by their very nature i think the transmed, radfem, and especially gender critical communities are attractive to bullies so you have those flocking to it, and thats an issue but... yeah.
this answer has gone on long enough and im really sorry anon im sure you didnt sign up to read a 13 page essay. i just got lost in my thoughts and felt like i had a lot of explaining to do. i think my feelings are both simple and complicated so idk if i even really answered your questions, i hope i did..., ;;
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quackspot · 5 years
Note
imagine someone just going 1-200 and you have to answer 200 questions for a stranger
well u better strap up becuase im about to do it
200: My crush’s name is: i dunno who do u think my crush’s name is199: I was born in: a year which is 2004198: I am really: a homo sapien197: My cellphone company is:  i think its samsung196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9 or 9.5 i think just 9194: My ring size is: WAIT RINGS HAD SIZES????? i dunno193: My height is: 5′4 ISH but i just say 5′4 because im actually really sensitive about my height and the less than an inch that brings me to 5′4 makes me somewhat happier with myself192: I am allergic to: maybe dustmites 191: My 1st car was: not yet190: My 1st job was: NOT YET189: Last book you read: technically a book called Dad Jokes theyre really funny jokes but if you mean story with plot then probably Grand & Humble unless if you include everything then yesterday i peeked in some books188: My bed is: a bed which i sleep in and that’s pretty much it actually i havent really made my bed in a while 187: My pet: jax and nibsy r the family pets jax is a shih-poo shihtzu poodle mix and nibsy is a cat186: My best friend: my brother185: My favorite shampoo is: shampoo184: Xbox or ps3: hard choice there’s xbox overall and little big planet this is actually a very hard choice lksiiro3jedsklmf,gsda little big planet is great........................183: Piggy banks are: piggy banks. theyre great182: In my pockets: I DONT HAVE POCKETS IM A WOMAN181: On my calendar: whats a calendar lol!!!!180: Marriage is: marriage 179: Spongebob can: dodod od odo dodooo178: My mom: IS GREAT i lov her shes a good mom177: The last three songs I bought were? i dont buy songs i listen to them176: Last YouTube video watched: i mean im listening to boyfriend big time rush on youtube right now but if you mean actual watching its snufkin saying “hi moomin” to moomin a quick 6 second clip175: How many cousins do you have? i duno174: Do you have any siblings? yeah173: Are your parents divorced? yeah172: Are you taller than your mom? probably not :(171: Do you play an instrument? i play the trumpet i did it today and it was really boring i dont want to go to any more graduations not even my own170: What did you do yesterday? things[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not really but somewhat and i like it because its a fun little thing to put in fiction 168: Luck: yea im very lucky167: Fate: its my destiny to die someday . . .. .  in the futuuuuuuuuuuure
166: Yourself: as far as im aware no165: Aliens: yeah probably164: Heaven: i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing163: Hell:i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing162: God: only to blame them for stuff161: Horoscopes: yea theyre fun to read160: Soul mates: ehehehehehhe fun in fanfiction and would greatly b ok with it irl159: Ghosts: who else would hold my hand at night...... not even a ghost :) (but yea i do believe in them when i grow up i wana be a ghost)158: Gay Marriage: why wouldnt i believe in gay marriage 157: War: what is it good for156: Orbs: borb155: Magic: i like magic so i will believe in it [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: yes153: Drunk or High: probably high i guess152: Phone or Online: ONLINE151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: BRUNETTES dude blondes r ok but i personally like darker hair149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: SUMMER I HATE WINTER SO FUCKIGNT OASJKU*($@IRWJKOSDIUOKLJEZUDIFLK:LDSK:LKF:LJIODSKZVDJFKL mostly becuase i hate being cold and i hate snow becuase i have to shovel snow and its so cold147: Autumn or Spring: either one 146: Chocolate or vanilla: choc o late145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: curly but i guess straight is ok142: McDonalds or Burger King: burbger king good milkshakese141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: idk uhh milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: neither......138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich i can just buy surgeries to make me prettier lmao137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: i dont wanna answer this :(((((( i dont like being bullied135: Burried or cremated: cremated babye put me in the flames ;3c134: Singing or Dancing: i like singing i like dancing i like trains 133: Coach or Chanel: what132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: im just a mere small town babye ;3c big cities sound scary 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target has the good cheeseballs129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: i only know adam sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: i dont do my nails 127: East Coast or West Coast: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh both are coasts126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday i get more gifts then uwu125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney because idk what six flags is isnt it a restaurant or something123: Yankees or Red Sox: a baseball bat [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: what is it good for!121: George Bush: idk 120: Gay Marriage: yeah gay rights119: The presidential election: im not that into politics so i dont understand the elections and i dont think their fair since i get all my facts from adam ruins everything this isnt even a joke118: Abortion: pro choice i dont giv a crap about some lifeless baby. its only alive if it can properly move its arms or cry or feel.117: MySpace: haha dead116: Reality TV: idk 115: Parents: theyre parents 114: Back stabbers: ow my back113: Ebay: website.... money112: Facebook: lizard man111: Work: what110: My Neighbors: idk who they are but my old neighbor was one of my best friends i should talk to him this summer109: Gas Prices: probably too high108: Designer Clothes: clothes107: College: something i dont plan on going to any time soon106: Sports: something i dont plan on doing any time soon105: My family: a family104: The future: spooky. very scary. idk what my job will be[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: idk (update it was today)102: Last time you ate: 4:13 ish i made ramne101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i duno100: Cried in front of someone: today i suppose i almost cried???? maybe my dentist appointment a few weeks ago??99: Went to a movie theater: lego movie 2 i think98: Took a vacation: 6th grade im in 9th grade now its been like 3 years97: Swam in a pool: over 1 year i dont go to the pool anymore96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND I NEVER PLAN ON IT95: Got my nails done: i duno94: Went to a wedding: i also dunno its been too long93: Broke a bone: not that i can recal92: Got a peircing: never and never will91: Broke the law: i duno90: Texted: just now i told my mommy to pick me up it wasl ike 1 hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: me88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my momy and nibsy and jax and probably zach but he’d already move out by the time i leave87: The last movie I saw: i dont remember probably lego movie 2 or osmething on tv86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: next year drama club85: The thing im not looking forward to: dying?????? idk man 84: People call me: moto moto (not really idk what they call me)83: The most difficult thing to do is: the most difficult thing82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never though i probs will someday81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius sun leo moon aries rising80: The first person i talked to today was: probably kiley79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten i think78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: nobody 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: *has a crisis over my future plans as i do not know*74: I have/will get a job: im gona work at target or burger king next year maybe it depends on if they like me73: Tomorrow: 5/20..............72: Today: today71: Next Summer: in a theater near u70: Next Weekend: my first summer weekend 69: I have these pets: I ALREAD YSAID WHAT PETS I HAVE I LOVE NIBSY WITH ALL MY HEART and jax with some extra parts of my heart68: The worst sound in the world: a sound67: The person that makes me cry the most is: me66: People that make you happy: me65: Last time I cried: ealier today64: My friends are: online63: My computer is: on62: My School: is a school61: My Car: nonexistent 60: I lose all respect for people who: are really mean and seem to hate people for being happy. people who make jokes that make me uncomfortable. i generally avoid them.59: The movie I cried at was: all of them58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: idk56: Favorite web site: idk probs youtube55: Your dream vacation: nowhere 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: A FEW WEEKS AGO I GOT STITCHES IN MY MOUTH AND IT REALLY HURT UGHGTUERIJOKFLDc53: How do you like your steak cooked: edible52: My room is: a room51: My favorite celebrity is: myslef..... just kidding idk any celebs 50: Where would you like to be: where i am 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: hoo ha hoo ha i duno how love feels exactly47: Who’s your best friend: MY BROTHER46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys i think 99% of my friends are my brothers friends so45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being happy44: One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody right now but sometimes kiley43: Do you have a 5 year plan: 5 years??? haha no i only plan on using savings accounts to make a bit more money and MAYBE moving to kiley but idk for sure since i like my parents and my brother and my parents plan on driving around in an rv but idk man moving to another state would be HARD and im kinda lazy and i’d have to get a whole new driver’s license 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: lmao all my ideas are jokes40: Last person I got mad at: probably myslef39: I would like to move to: my bed???????38: I wish I was a professional: personer. talker. socialer. [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: probably snickers or a salted nut roll36: Vehicle: big car. tahoe shape. tahoe size. idk. something like a tahoe thats my only reference35: President: I Don’t Care34: State visited: probably florida its the only one of 3 states i’ve been to33: Cellphone provider: what32: Athlete: WHAT31: Actor: idk 30: Actress: idk29: Singer: not me? me? idk28: Band: taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hall??? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? I DONT KNOWIJ DSKJZLFKSJKLDSHDLfjklskl;fdkl;sfk;laf 27: Clothing store: i legit have like no faves god this is the hardest part26: Grocery store: target probably25: TV show: maybe the simpsons???24: Movie: idk ive seen a lot of movies23: Website: one of them22: Animal: one of them21: Theme park: universal studios20: Holiday: none of them theyre all ok but ??? meh19: Sport to watch: none.18: Sport to play: idk i dont like being competitive but??????? gym class is a fun sport! :)17: Magazine: none of them16: Book: one of them15: Day of the week: wednesday sounds like a good day. maybe sundays. 14: Beach: what13: Concert attended: frankly the only concerts i’ve been to are my own12: Thing to cook: probably ramen11: Food: cheeseballs??????? burger king milkshake, a drink?10: Restaurant: buuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrger kiiiiiiiiiiing?9: Radio station: 101.9 kelo eff emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm8: Yankee candle scent: what7: Perfume: what6: Flower: what5: Color: red or purple4: Talk show host: wha
3: Comedian: i duno2: Dog breed: one of them1: Did you answer all these truthfully?  yeah i tried but i kinda gave up slightly after i came back from a graduation party though i also kind of gave up from the start so
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catmeme-moved · 5 years
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all of the asks! >:3
god ok 
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?
😏
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
Tumblr media
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
i dont think i could date anyone who does any kind of drugs,, it makes me Very uncomfortable
4. Is your last name longer than six letters?
its only 4 babey
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
sober...ive never been drunk
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?
i guess?? it was in high school so i dnt think it rly counts since yknow, i was 16
7. What does your last received text say?
“jgdijgjfdivjdjdj me“
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
not enough times !!! i love kissing my gf
9. Where was your last kiss at?
in the parkinglot behind my dorm building
10. When is the last time you saw your sister?
i saw both my sisters when i was home for break a few weeks ago
11. What do you drink in the morning?
coffey
12. Where did you sleep last night?
my bed 
13. Do you think relationships are hard?
not rly? i think if relationships r hard then they arent rly meant to be
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
god i wouldnt have spent so much money
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
none at all ;3c
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
i guess rainy....overcast weather is my fav
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
my mom ! probably lots of other people too shjkdh lee is a fairly common name i think
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
jeans
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
i hope so!!!
20. Does anyone like you?
god i sure hope my gf does
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
nop
22. Is the last person you kissed gay?
ya thats why i kissed them ghksdjs
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
no one that i know personally.. there r some like celebrities and other famous ppl i dont like
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
yes i want a tattoo from a specific artist in my hometown!!!
25. In the past week have you cried?
i mean probably i dont remember though
26. What breed was the last dog you saw?
a pug...i saw him in a donut shop
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
i dry off as im stepping out of the shower
28. Have you ever kissed a football player?
no bc jocks intimidate me
29. Do you think you’re old?
not really in the grand scheme of things.. im only 20 i still have decades ahead of me !
30. Do you like text messaging?
ya
31. What type of day are you having?
its been ok! i spent time w my roommates downtown
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
i hav my septum pierced but a nostril piercing would b nice
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
cold..
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
i dont rly think theres such a thing as “opposite sex” since sex is also on a spectrum like gender
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
relationship ! flings r nice i guess but i prefer the stability and commitment of an actual relationship
36. Are you a simple or complicated person?
i thnik im fairly simple..idk
37. What song are you listening to?
when he died by lemon demon
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
yea of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
my best friemd emily40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
theyre hot and funny and very kind!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?
idk maybe an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?
im hungry and not being held by my gf43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
its my mom so fairly well i think44. Does anyone disgust you?
men45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
no bc im already dating someone46. Are you in a good mood right now?
i feel...neutral47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
my roommate !48. What color shirt are you wearing?
its blue pruple n green tie dye49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
ya my history professor told me i had to read books50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
no one is coming to mind51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
i dont hate anyone!
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
almost gave up on ever being able to pet the raccoons outside the dining hall but someday ill be able to earn their trust
53. Do you like rain?
yes!!! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
not rly ! as long as theyre safe about it ykwim55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
no i think ive told most of my crushes how i felt about them at the time 56. Do you like to cuddle?
god yes i love to hold and be held57. Are you shy?
its the social anxiety 58. Do you get along with girls?
i am a lesbian59. Have you dated the person you texted last?
we r dating !! 60. What do you carry with you at all times?
my phone and my peper spray 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?
id do it for 10 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?
ive been in my current one for 7 and my longest lasted 8 ! 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?
yes! 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?
anything my gf does is cute65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?
my cat yawned when she tried to meow and made a weird squeak sound
66. How old are the last three people you kissed?
18 (or maybe 19 now idk), 19, 20
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    
i do them myself bc i hate spending money68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    
ghgdh,....neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    
i dont have a car yet 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    
neither...i dont rly like eithr of those music genres71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    
im samsung bitch until i die72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    
its been months. maybe years. i dont like pizza73. Do you like diet soda?    
i dont rly like any soda anymore tbh74. What color are the walls in your room?
plain white...f    75. Are you 16 or older?    
bitche im 2076. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    
nop i dont even know waht its about77. Do you have a job?    
yes i work in a library !  78. What are your initials?    
ylb79. Did you ever have braces?    
no :^/80. Are you from the south?    
nope im a pnw bitch
81. What does your last status on facebook say?    
something about voting82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    
ya shes my best friemd83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    
my mom.. fuck my dad !84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   
i vaguely remember attending a gymnastics class when i was like 5 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    
uhh.. venom i think86. Do you smoke?    
no never !!!87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?   
flip flops. 88. Is your phone touch screen?    
god how old are these questions. who has a phone that isnt touch screen now89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    
my hair is naturally curly !90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    
no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    
a pool..... rivers and lakes r scary92. Have you ever made out in a car?    
not yet93. …Had sex in a car?    
no that seems. . difficult. theres not very much room94. Are you single or in a relationship?    
im in a luvly relationship95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    
sleepin96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    
new years i think??97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    
yea its pretty nice98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    
no but ik i wanted one before i got into my current relationship skdgjhj99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    
no but i did drink half a beer thing once and went to sleep bc i got a stomach ache100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    
i dont even use facebook101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    
when i was in first grade id play “family” w my friend sometimes and she’d pretend to be the dad and i was the mom so we would spoon each other bc we thot thats what sex was and i thought she actually got me pregnant bc i was 7 and didnt know anything102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    
the song blind slaps103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    
no its winter and i also dont go outdoors104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    
 i hate wearing shorts
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