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#if you recognize that outfit no you don't
ros3ybabe · 2 days
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🎀 Overcoming Gym Anxiety 🎀
I got asked about this through my inbox by @sxfiaaa so I figured I'd make a post about it and hopefully help a lot of people with something I too used to struggle with!
🩷 Wear Comfortable Clothing
We've all seen the beautifully dressed people on Tiktok, Pinterest, etc in their matching sets and cutr gym clothes. If that is what you're comfortable wearing to the gym, do it! Wear it, and be confident in it! If you're more of a loose clothes/sweatpants/baggy shirts or hoodie type of person, do that! Wear whatever you feel comfortable (and cute) in, because the better you feel going into a workout, the more you'll be able to focus on your workout!
🩷 Know What You're Doing When You're There
This just means go in with a plan! You don't need to know how to use every single machine or do every single exercise known to mankind. Scroll tiktok or pinterest for some workout videos for inspo (please make sure the video you get inspo from shows proper form!!! Proper form is so important for being safe!!)
If you know you can go certain days of the week, make a workout split to follow that! EX 3 day split: Monday - Leg Day, Wednesday - Upper Body, Friday - Full Body
OR, if you just want to go do cardio, then plan for that! I didn't know how to use a treadmill, but I went to the gym at my university and stood on the treadmill til I figured it out!
🩷 Remember This
No one is going to look at you and judge you or think mean things about you. Everyone is at the gym for the purpose of bettering themselves and their health. If you find people giving you occasional glances, maybe it's because they don't recognize you from the gym (or they do recognize you from somewhere else), maybe their admiring your outfit/physique, maybe their avid gym goers who are watching your form and technique, or maybe their just zoned out and you happen to be in the line of sight.
When I'm at the gym, I look around between sets and take note on other people's form to see if maybe I should tweak the way I do a certain exercise, or I'm admiring another girls outfit or physique because there are a lot of beautiful women at the gym. Sometimes, I'm thinking "dang, they're lifting so heavy, how cool!" or "wow, their form is amazing, they really know what they're doing." I've never thought bad abut someone at the gym because why would I?
🩷 Don't Be Scared To Ask For Help
if there an exercise you really want to do but don't know how and videos aren't helping, ask someone around you who isn't in the middle of an exercise and looks like they may know. The guy at the gym doing upper body who has good biceps may be the right guy to ask about upper body exercises. The girl doing impeccable Bulgarian Split Squats might be the right person to ask for help with those types of movements. Just make sure they aren't in the middle of an exercise, because that can cause some unwanted issues, especially if they're mid-rep, that can turn into a safety issue.
People love to help people, especially at the gym. If you politely ask for help from someone, they may take it as a compliment that you think they look like a person who is knowledgeable on working out. I'd definitely be so flattered if someone asked me for help or advice at the gym!
🩷 Random Advice:
remember your why! no matter how anxious you are, remember why you're going! what are your goals, what do you hope to achieve, how proud will you feel after?
start small if you have to! if it's really anxiety inducing to start working out, make it your first goal to at least step into the gym. then 2nd goal, walk around the gym to get a feel for it. 3rd goal, maybe 5-10 minutes on a treadmill, and then keep building momentum each day.
be careful with the hours you go! there is such a thing as peak gym hours. It varies by place, but a lot of gyms are busy between 2pm and 6pm I've seen. I personally love going to the gym super early morning, it's a little less busy and I'm a morning person so it works out for me! If you can only go during peak hours, bring a friend or keep your headphones on and do your thing!
Bring a friend! If you're really anxious about going alone, bring a friend with similar goals! Sometimes it can be a lot nicer to learn something new with a friend then try and learn it on your own! Plus, it's like extra motivation and accountability!
Have a motivating pre workout routine. Play some music while getting ready, prep your bags, prep your playlist, get your workout itself figured out, and just keep yourself excited to go! I love blasting high-energy music that makes me feel like a baddie on my way to the gym.
I hope this was helpful!! My thoughts were everywhere but I tried to convey them as best as possible! I'm happy to answer any questions or offer more tips and advice, don't feel scared to ask! <3
til next time lovelies 🩷
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joelmillerisapunk · 7 hours
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Beach Daddy III. I can do it with a broken heart
Rich daddy!Joel x F!reader
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Series Masterlist • Masterlist
Wordcount: 12,532
Summary: After a day of emotional turmoil, you find solace in a chance encounter with Joel, who invites you to his secret deck.
Warnings: 18+, Joel and reader get closer, Todd does fuckboy things, reader really goes through it in this one, it's like a lil baby soap opera up in here for everyone.
Notes: Welcome, welcome, dear friends. Sorry this is so long. I never know where to end the chapters 😂 so I just add more. Your comments, asks, and reblogs are always so welcome! I appreciate everyone who's in this with me.
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You walk out of Amorebelle with light pink clothing bags weighing down each arm, wearing a new outfit. You can't remember a time when you've gotten this many new clothes at once. You also find it hard to wrap your head around the fact that these clothes cost more than you make in an entire year.
The saleswomen Jane and McKenzie won't let you look at the price tags, but as they're ringing up your picks, you catch a glimpse of the total on the computer screen. You can't help but wonder how you'll ever be able to pay Joel back for this shopping trip. 
You also can't help but wonder how often he does this for women.
Jane, who's worked at the shop the longest, had recognized him when you walked in the door. You don't have time to contemplate this because you notice a maid you recognize from the yacht. She makes her way to you and starts relieving you of your bags. You make sure to keep the bag with your dress and shoes for the evening.
"Miss, I was told to take these to your room on the ship while you are at your appointment," the maid tells you.
"What appointment?" you ask her, confused.
"You have an appointment at the salon three stores up.”
"Did Joel set this up for me?" you ask, feeling even more surprised.
"Yes, ma'am," the maid says with a smile.
You're glad that the boutique you've been shopping in has a shower where you're able to rinse off before this appointment. They must be used to sandy beachgoers coming in right before a night out.
You make your way up the street and stop at the salon with floor-to-ceiling glass windows. From the outside, you can see the row of chairs, each in front of its own mirror.
You walk in, and the man at the front desk assures you that you do, in fact, have an appointment, full hair, and makeup, which is all prepaid.
The receptionist walks you back to your stylist, an attractive man whose hair color matches yours. "What do you have in mind today, sweetheart," your stylist asks you.
"I'm honestly not sure. Can I leave it up to you?" you ask.
"That's my favorite request," he says as he runs his fingers through your hair. "Your natural coloring is gorgeous, obviously, I am not going to touch that. So, I'm thinking a quick trim and a blowout."
He has your hair and makeup done within an hour, and you barely recognize yourself in the mirror. You're amazed that your hair is perfectly smooth, with not a single strand of frizz to be found. You gently run your fingers through your hair and can't believe how soft it is.
"What do you think?" the stylist asks you. He hands you a small mirror and turns you in the chair so you can get a better view of the back of your hair.
"Is this really my hair?" you ask, holding up the smaller mirror.
"Of course, sweetheart. You look amazing," he says with a smile.
"I didn't know I could love my hair this much.” You admit.
"So, go enjoy it!" he says with a huge smile.
"I will. I love it. Thank you so much," you say enthusiastically.
You walk out of the salon's front door in your midnight blue silk dress with shining hair, and you feel amazing. For the first time since the breakup, you feel like you can do a whole lot better than Todd.
"All I can say is wow," says Joel. He's been waiting for you outside of the salon.
"I hardly recognize myself," you say with a laugh.
"I wasn't commenting on the dress or your hair. I was impressed by your confidence. It looks good on you darlin," Joel says, looking you up and down unabashedly.
You feel your cheeks get hot. You don't understand how Joel always says exactly what you need to hear.
"But, I do have to admit I was right about that dress; it does look amazing on you," Joel says with a wink.
"I don't know how to thank you–" but Joel cuts you off before you can finish thanking him.
"Please, you don't need to finish what you were about to say. You deserved it. Simple as that."
"Okay," you say with a smile. "Well, then I just want you to know that today has been the best day I have had in a long time." You like that Joel isn't the kind of man who gives gifts because he likes the praise that follows.
"The restaurant is just a few blocks over. I can call for a ride," he says, pulling out his phone.
"Yeah, we could get a ride over," you say and grab his phone. "But, it's such a beautiful night; why don't we walk?" It is a beautiful night, but if you're being honest with yourself, you want to walk to soak up as much time alone with Joel as you can.
Joel smiles and offers you his arm. You notice his new suit jacket goes perfectly with your new dress. You bite your lip to keep yourself from asking if he picked it on purpose, but you secretly hope he had.
"This town is beautiful; I'm surprised that it isn't busier," you say, looking up at the bistro lights strung across the streets in a zig-zag pattern. The light is just barely fading, and the cool breeze catches the slit in your dress, making the end lightly flutter around your ankles as you walk.
"It is a well-kept secret," Joel says.
"For the rich and famous?" you ask.
"Well, kinda, but the locals who live here are what make this place so amazing. The restaurant we’re headed to has some of the best food I've ever eaten. But the chef is just a local man who perfected his art form. Never went to culinary school; just cooked because he loved it."
"How do you know all that about him?" you ask.
"My family has vacationed here for as long as I can remember. When I got tired of listening to my parents argue, I would go exploring the island. I’ve gotten to know a lot of the locals over the years," he explains.
You walk up to a building with a large illuminated sign reading The Coastal Hibiscus. The restaurant has a large deck area with a perfect view of the ocean. As you make your way up the front steps, you drop your hand from Joel's arm, not wanting Sarah to get the wrong idea.
You arrive at the restaurant last, finding the entire party already seated. As you enter, the conversation slows, and Todd's gaze locks onto you, a sense of satisfaction washing over you from the look on his face.
Only two seats remain, so you sit between Alison and Hudson. Joel takes a seat directly across from you, next to his daughter.
"I love that dress on you, by the way." Alison says with a little smile.
"Thanks," you reply as the waiter distributes menus.
"Where did you take off to? I haven't seen you since you went with Sarah's dad to find the dolphins," Alison asks.
"Oh, we never found them, so we just drove around for a long time looking for them," you lie, staring intently at the menu. You don't want to share the details of the intimate day you spent with Joel.
"That's too bad," Alison says, joining the group's conversation about where everyone plans to 'winter' that year.
You continue to look at your menu, overwhelmed by the number of choices. Finally, you look up to see Joel staring at you. You silently mouth 'What should I get?' across the table.
He smiles at you and mouths back 'The lobster.'
When the food arrives, you're grateful for his suggestion. His choice is amazing; the lobster is cooked so well that it feels like it melts in your mouth.
You sit peacefully sipping a glass of wine and listening to the group's conversation, stealing glances at Joel. The waiter brings around dessert menus, and you order a slice of cheesecake, one of your favorites.
A few minutes later, the waiter sets a piece of cheesecake in front of you, and placed delicately in the whipped cream is a stunning cushion cut diamond engagement ring. Your breath catches in your throat, and your heart stops. As you try to make sense of what's happening, you hear Todd whisper angrily to the waiter, "No, not her!"
No one seems to notice the mix-up, and a few seconds later, the engagement ring cheesecake is placed in front of Sarah instead. Her small squeak alerts the rest of the table to what's going on.
"Sarah, will you make me the luckiest man in the world? Will you marry me," Todd says, down on one knee next to Sarah.
"Of course, I will." Sarah immediately answers. She jumps up and hugs Todd, all the while letting out ear-piercing squeals.
You look across the table and see Joel's eyes locked on you. Did he see them place the ring in front of you and your reaction to it? 
The restaurant feels like it's closing in around you. You have to get out. You quietly slide your chair away from the table, leaving your ringless cheesecake untouched, and walk out into the open air. You start walking toward the ocean; the water has turned from a vibrant blue to an ominous black. The glassy surface reflects the light of the moon, which sits alone in the sea of darkness. 
You continue walking, your feet aching in the heels, but to your relief, you recognize the yacht docked in a nearby marina. The crew must have sailed over to this marina to drop off the rest of the group while Joel and you were in the shops. So you make your way towards it. However, even before you reach the docks, the tears have already started falling down your face. You wipe them away quickly, not wanting to stain your new dress. The sound of footsteps behind you has you hurrying to the yacht. Whoever is following you, you do not want to speak to them–not now.
Not even if it's Joel.
 "Todd, I'm so glad we finally get to spend some time together. It seems like I barely get to see you anymore. I'm so sorry I've been so busy," you said, smiling at your fantastic boyfriend. You really missed him, but with graduation so close, you had to put all of your efforts into studying.
"I'm glad you finally found some time for me," Todd said in a flat tone. You guessed you deserved that, but the comment still stung.
"Where do you want to go eat? I heard there’s a great new sushi place just a few blocks over," you said, trying to switch the mood to a more positive one.
"Yeah, that works," Todd muttered as he pulled out his phone to send a text.
You started walking over, but you couldn't help but feel like something was off, and you relaxed as Todd's fingers locked with yours.
"So, how’s work going?" you asked. Todd had graduated with his Bachelor's degree the year before and started working for his dad's financial firm after that.
"It's been great. You would not believe some of the people I help with their investments. Every single one of them was a millionaire before they were thirty. That is going to be me; just you wait."
"I know you will be, Todd," you said as the hostess showed you to your table. "If anyone can make it happen, you will."
"It wouldn't hurt to have a rich wife. Then, we'd become millionaires together," Todd said and smiled at you. He had always been so proud of the fact that you were working towards being a lawyer. You were so relieved that he recognized your time studying was for your future together.
The waiter walked over to your table and asked if you were ready to order. Todd ordered multiple plates of sushi, and then the waiter turned to you.
"I'll have an order of the California rolls and a water," you handed the menu back to the waiter and looked up to see Todd with a strange expression on his face.
"California rolls?" Todd asked as the waiter walked away.
"It's the best deal on the menu. I'm saving for my books. I don't know if I’ll be able to qualify for another loan," you said, slightly defensive. You knew Todd hated how cheap you were, but you had to be if you were going to be able to afford to put yourself through school. You knew he didn't understand; his dad paid for his education.
Todd pulled out his phone again and sent another text. You tried not to let it bother you; it was probably something for work.
You spent the rest of dinner talking about the different investments Todd was making on others' behalf and how one of his clients had just purchased their first private island.
"I'm going to run to the restroom before we head out," Todd said and got up, not realizing he had left his phone sitting face up on the table.
As soon as he walked away, his screen lit up with a text message. All you could see from where you sat was the contact name, 'Her.' Your heart sank.
The screen went black, and you took a deep breath. Todd walked back from the restroom, smiling at you.
"You ready to go?" he asked you as he made it to your table.
"Absolutely."
"Why don't we catch a movie?" Todd asked, grabbing your hand again as you walked out of the restaurant.
"Sure. What do you want to go see?”
You slam the door of your room and rest your back against it, catching your breath. You had to get away from whoever was following you out of the restaurant. You can't face anyone after witnessing Todd's engagement to someone else. You take a few minutes to catch your breath, and when a soft knock on the door vibrates your back, you ignore it. The person doesn't knock again.
Your dress clings to your sweaty body, and you want nothing more than to take it off. You slip off the midnight blue silk gown and drape it over the chair in front of the vanity. Noticing the pink garment bags already hung neatly in your closet, you secretly wish that you fit in this world, this world of money. But you know deep down that you don't.
You walk past all of the new clothes and throw back on your usual attire of shorts and a T-shirt; you can't get comfortable in the fancy clothes. You make your way over to your bed and throw yourself on the comforter. Burying your face in the pillow and let the tears come. You cry until your eyes burn. You sit up in bed and wonder where everything went wrong with Todd and you. You had truly been in love with him. You had planned a future together, and even though he never spoke directly of marrying you, you always assumed it would happen one day. So when the waiter placed his engagement ring in front of you perched on a pillow of whipped cream, it hurt even more.
Your roommate had been suspicious of Todd cheating on you for months before you read that text. You went on pretending your relationship was stable, even though deep down, you suspected him, too, especially after the incident at the sushi restaurant.
You didn't confront him about the text until weeks later. He denied everything at first, saying it was his father's receptionist. She was a bitter older woman who was not the kind of woman you wanted to cross. He put the receptionist in his phone as 'her' as a joke.
You knew he was lying, but you were okay to keep on pretending. That was until you caught him texting 'her' again, right in front of you. Then, you exploded, and you got into your worst fight. He finally came clean that it was a woman he met at your birthday party. 
He swore he wasn't cheating and that she was just a friend. You promised that you would work it out even if he was cheating on you, but he wasn't interested in that. He was no longer interested in you. He broke up with you the very next day.
With the memories replaying in your mind, you jump out of bed and run to the balcony. You breathe in quick gasps of the cold sea air. You just realized that you had invited Sarah to your birthday party. Todd had met her there, and they had been in contact ever since. Sarah told you that she'd been dating Todd for four months, but your birthday party was eight months ago. So Todd had been pursuing Sarah for eight months while he was still pretending to be faithful to you.
'It wouldn't hurt to have a rich wife; then we'd become millionaires together.' Todd's words ring through your memories. He hadn't been talking about you becoming a lawyer and the two of you becoming wealthy together. He had been talking about marrying Sarah, an heiress. This had been his plan all along. 
This night of realization has your head hammering, and you need to calm down. So you walk back into your room, slip on your shoes, and walk out your door. You’re going to go out to the bar on the deck and make yourself a drink. The lights on the deck are already out, but you quickly realize you’re not there alone.
"Oh, Todd!" Sarah moans.
"You are so damn sexy!"
Two shadowy figures are pressed together in the pool, waves rippling around them, and you quickly realize you have just interrupted Sarah and Todd's after-engagement celebration. You immediately freeze on the spot.
Their moans grow louder, and you try to retreat before either of them sees you. Unfortunately, you don't notice the lounge chair behind you in the dark and topple over it in your rush to get away. You land flat on your back, and all the air is knocked out of your lungs.
"What the hell? Who's there?" Todd's voice yells behind you.
You pray it’s too dark for them to see or recognize you. Then, you start crawling back towards the door, and as soon as you think you are out of sight, you stand up quickly and run. Once you get through the door, you keep running down the hall, the tears stinging your eyes. You are humiliated, heartbroken, and defeated.
You get to a set of stairs and immediately start climbing as many floors as you can. You have to get as far away from the pool as possible. It’s  bad enough knowing Todd is sleeping with Sarah, possibly for eight months, but to see it first hand is too much.
You end up in front of an elevator, and just as you stop to catch your breath, the doors slide open.
"Hey darlin? Are you okay?"
It's Joel. All you want to do is to run into his arms and feel his warmth surround you. But instead, you simply nod and turn to walk away. How could you possibly explain what you just witnessed? Sarah is still his daughter.
"I don't believe you. Somethin’ is wrong. I came to check on you earlier.”
Joel hands you a glass of red wine, and you follow him out onto his private deck. The elevator has led up to his room, and Joel, noticing your state, invites you up.
You lean over the railing and swirl the wine in the glass.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Joel asks with a note of concern in his voice.
"Nothing happened; I was just tired," you reply.
"You were so tired that you ran all the way back to the yacht?" Joel asks, clearly not believing you.
You don't say anything and take a small sip of your wine.
"And in the hallway just now? You seemed pretty upset," Joel says.
"I promise, I'm fine, but thank you," you say, trying to muster up a small smile.
Joel does not look convinced, but he lets the topic go. You both stand looking over the ocean for a long time in complete silence. The yacht has left the small island, and so the waves are bubbling lazily behind the propellers.
"When do we make port again?" you ask, finally breaking the silence.
"Tomorrow," Joel replies.
"I’m gonna miss you, Joel," you say quietly.
"What are you talking about, darlin?" Joel says as his eyebrows knit together in concern.
"I'm going to catch a flight back to New York tomorrow.”
Joel stares at you for a long time after saying that you’ll be leaving when you get to port the next day. Or at least you hope you will be. You don't even know where you will be, let alone if there is an airport or a ticket home you can afford.
"I would really hate to see you go, darlin," Joel says with a serious look on his face.
"I think it's for the best," you answer softly.
"The best for you?" he asks. You stay quiet for a long time. Are you deciding what is best for you and/or running from your problems?
"I don't know… " you answer truthfully.
You take another small sip of the wine Joel had poured you and watch the liquid as you swirl it around in your glass.
"You know wine always tastes better in the sauna," Joel says, watching you.
You turn to him, "That does sound nice, but I’m sure the staff who work the spa have already gone to bed."
"Well, good thing the sauna is in my bathroom," he says as the corners of his mouth ease into a smile.
"You have a sauna in your bathroom?" you ask, impressed.
"Of course, so what do you say?"
"I'm not really dressed for a sauna," you gesture down to your shorts and T-shirt.
"I have a robe that you can borrow unless you'd rather go without." Joel winks and starts walking away to grab the robe.
"So what else do you have up here all to yourself?" you ask, liking the distraction from the mess of a night you've been through.
You walk through a large sitting room, a bedroom with the biggest bed you've ever seen, and then finally to the bathroom. Joel calling the tub in his bathroom a soaking tub is an understatement; it's more like a small swimming pool sunken in the middle of the floor.
"You can get changed here." Joel leads you into an extravagant walk-in closet, complete with a large vanity table and chaise lounge. He hangs a white cotton robe on a hook next to the door, making it the only garment in the empty closet. You realize Joel's room must include his and her's closets, but Joel has no use for this one.
You undress down to nothing and slip the buttery soft robe over your skin. You could live in this robe. There are definitely some amazing perks to being rich. You walk out of the closet, and Joel is waiting for you in a matching cotton robe.
"See, it's a perfect fit," he says.
"I don't even want to know how much one of these robes costs," you say. 
Joel laughs a little at your comment. "The sauna is through this door here," Joel says and pushes the door next to him open, holding it for you to enter first.
You don't know what you've been expecting when Joel had said he had a sauna in his bathroom, but the sauna you walk into is more than you could have ever imagined.
Every inch of the room is covered in light wood. The benches look as though they conform perfectly to your body and are accented with white pillows. The steam is warm and envelops you as soon as you walk into the room. However, the most breathtaking part of the sauna is the floor-to-ceiling window. It makes it feel like the sauna is open to the ocean itself, and the dark water reflecting the dim light of the room is extremely romantic.
"How do you ever leave?" you ask after a few speechless seconds.
Joel laughs again and takes a seat in the center of the bench, staring out into the dark water. You sit next to him and realize you might be too close, so you try to scoot away subtly.
"I don't bite, darlin."
You laugh awkwardly but remain close enough to feel the heat of his body next to yours. You close your eyes and try to let go of the evening. You think about watching the dolphins swimming in the cove while Joel sits next to you on the jet ski.
"You look like you're feeling a little better," Joel whispers.
"I am. This is exactly what I needed." You pause for a few seconds and add, "You keep saving me today."
"You've saved me on this trip too. Can I tell you a secret?" he asks, leaning in closer to you.
"Of course," you answer, and your heart starts beating faster.
"The rest of Sarah's friends drive me insane."
"That's your secret?" you bump his shoulder with yours. "That’s a really weak secret. They drive me insane too."
"If that’s not a secret, then tell me a better one," he says.
"What kind of secret?"
"Tell me why you’re leaving tomorrow?" he asks and looks into your eyes.
You pause, considering if you should tell him the truth, but he is getting Todd as a son-in-law. So you choose a different path.
"I can't afford to stay," you say finally. Taking Joel's silence as confusion, you elaborate, "I'm completely broke. I've put all of my money into school. I work as a bartender and live off of my tips and ramen noodles."
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand why that means you need to leave tomorrow," Joel says somberly.
That’s a fair point; Sarah and her father have paid for absolutely everything.  It isn't costing you anything to stay on this once-in-a-lifetime vacation. You need to come up with a reason to leave before he sees through the holes in your story.
"I have to get back to New York, get ready to move to Cambridge, and find a job there before the semester starts. I only have a few weeks of living costs saved up." This is partly true; you do need to do all of those things, but going back early would actually complicate things for you. You can't move into your new apartment in Cambridge until two weeks before the semester starts. So going back early would just mean you'd sit in your old apartment with nothing to do. Plus, if you went back early, you would have a few more weeks of expenses to take care of, and you already quit your job.
"What if I could help you find a new position in Cambridge?" Joel asks.
"What do you mean?" you ask, surprised.
"I have some connections in Cambridge; if I helped you get a few interviews, would you be able to stay longer?"
You can't find any words to respond. You've been really worried about what you would do for work when you got to Cambridge. You don't know anyone there and planned on spending the two weeks before the semester handing in resumes at different restaurants.
"You would do that for me?" you ask.
"Absolutely. I’ll make some calls in the morning. You don't have to stay, but I would enjoy your company if you did. The Bahamas are beautiful this time of year. I don't want you to miss it."
"Okay, I'll stay," you say quietly. "Thank you, Joel."
You can't believe this man's kindness to you. If it's important to Joel that you stay on the trip, then you will figure out how to deal with Todd and Sarah for a little while longer.
"I'm glad to hear it," he says with a smile.
The sky starts to lighten in the early morning hours, so you stand and tell him, "I should head back down to my own room and get some rest."
"Probably a good idea," he says and follows you out of the sauna.
You go back into the massive closet and change back into your clothes, hanging the robe back on the hook. You walk back out into the main room, and Joel is waiting for you, still in his robe.
"Let me walk you down."
"That's really okay. You’ve done so much for me already," you say.
"How long will you stay?"
"I'm not sure. At least another week." You smile at Joel and walk out the door.
***
Joel shuts the door behind you as you walk down the hall. He's relieved that he convinced you to stay for at least another week, but he knows there's something else that's the real cause for you being so upset tonight.
He knows that you're not part of Sarah's usual friend group, but after talking to you tonight, he's confused about how you're even friends at all. You clearly have big goals and work hard to see them happen. Sarah doesn't have any goals other than becoming an 'influencer.'
The thought of you working at every spare moment to put yourself through school makes his stomach twist at how badly he's spoiled Sarah. You deserve so much better than to be just scraping by. He would do anything he could to help you find something better. Hell, he would have offered to pay for your tuition, too, if he thought you would accept it.
Joel pulls out his phone and sends an email to the connection he has at a law firm in Cambridge. He's done some business with them in the past and figures it would be a much better fit for you than making people drinks. With how much business he's given the firm, he knows he can at least get you an interview.
On his home screen, there's a notification of a phone call from his financial advisor, Alester, that he missed while he was in the sauna with you. Alester never calls at this hour, so he knows something is wrong. Joel calls him back immediately, waiting impatiently to hear his voice on the other end.
“Joel, I am so sorry for the early hour," Alester says.
“No need to apologize; what's going on?" He asks urgently.
“I am afraid it is not good news.”
“Just tell me, Alester," he says, doing his best not to get impatient with the man. He's worked for Joel for years, and Joel trusts him with his life. There's an infuriatingly long pause on Alester's end. He sighs before he finally responds. “Blaine is back, sir."
***
The sun is streaming through the glass doors of the balcony as you finally open your eyes. Your head is pounding from a lack of sleep and caffeine. You want to order coffee up to your room, but you need to shower too badly to wait. After running all the way to the yacht and then sitting in the sauna with Joel, you are salty with dried sweat. You probably should have showered last night, but, after reaching your room in the early morning hours, you collapsed on the bed and had fallen asleep in your clothes.
You walk into the bathroom, expecting to look like a mess from all the events of the night, your clothes are extremely wrinkled, but you are surprised to see your hair still looks flawless. "I wish I could afford to get a blowout more often," you say to your reflection, pulling on a few strands as you admire the style.
You put your hair up and step into the hot water of the shower, washing off the previous day. You stand under the steaming water until you are getting a little dizzy from the heat. As you stand there, you can't help but think about Joel. He's been so kind to you, and you can't help but wonder if there's a chance he wants more from your relationship than what one would typically expect between a man and a friend of his daughter's. You shake your head. You can't allow yourself to think that way. Joel lives in a world you know nothing about. Not only is he much older than you, he is also Sarah's dad. Besides, he can have any woman he wants. Why would he want you?
Returning your thoughts to reality, you finish rinsing your hair and turn off the water. You wrap a towel around yourself, and make your way back into the bedroom to cool down.
The screen of your phone is illuminated, so you pick it up and lounge back on the bed. You have several notifications from the group chat between you and your roommates, Aubrey and Lin. You know you need to let them know what's going on.
Aubrey: Hey? Are you still alive? We haven't heard from you in days.
Lin: Maybe she finally found herself a rebound, and that’s why she’s too busy for us. My guess is a sexy pool boy!
You: Sorry, you two. Signal has been spotty. A sexy pool boy, Lin? Is that your guess or your fantasy?
Lin: I think a sexy pool boy should be everyone’s fantasy. ‘Pool boy, refresh my drink, and while you are at it, come rub me down with some tanning lotion.’
Aubrey: Lin, you’re the reason I can’t let Gianni read our group messages!
Lin: Sorry, we aren’t as lucky as you to have an amazing boyfriend who kisses the ground we walk on. Some of us have to use our imaginations.
You: I miss you two so much! I wish you were here with me.
Aubrey: How is everything going? Is the boat as big as we are imagining?
You: Honestly, it is probably bigger than you’re imagining. It’s not so much a boat as it is a super yacht. The bathroom in my room is as big as our entire apartment, and I’m just in a guest room. I have my own private balcony! Oh, and yesterday, I got to see a pod of dolphins!
Lin: Dolphins? How cool! I wish I had a rich friend who took me on expensive vacations.
You: Yeah, it sounds good in theory, but in reality, that rich friend was the one sleeping with my boyfriend for months.
Aubrey: Sarah was the one Todd was cheating on you with?! Why didn’t you lead with that?
You: Oh, that’s not even the worst part. Todd is here on the yacht too. We had already left port when I found out, so I’ve been stuck here with him.
Lin: No way! What the hell did that scumbag have to say for himself when he saw you?
You: Well, he pretended not to know who I am, and I went along with it.
Aubrey: I’m so sorry!
Lin: Why didn’t you call him out?
You: I probably should have, but I didn’t want to make things awkward. Like I said before, I am literally stuck on a boat with these people. Plus, Sarah clearly doesn’t know. I didn’t want to hurt her.
Aubrey: That makes sense. Maybe she will dump him before things get too serious.
You: Oh, one more thing, they got engaged at dinner last night. I had a front row seat for the entire thing. And then their after party.
Aubrey: Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you? I don’t know exactly how I would find you, but you know I would figure it out.
You: Thanks Aubrey, but I’m okay.
Lin: Shit, this is really messed up. What do you mean by ‘you had a front row seat to their after party?’
You: I walked out to the pool deck and caught them having sex in the pool. Then I tripped over a deck chair trying to get out of there.
Lin: Did they catch you?
You: I still don’t know. I really hope not. I don’t know how I would show my face in front of either of them again if they did.
Aubrey: How did Todd even meet Sarah? It’s not like your social circles mix very well.
You: I was thinking about that a lot last night. I am pretty sure that they met at my birthday party.
Lin: So you're telling me when we were all celebrating you, Todd was off hitting on someone else?
You: Pretty much. I’m realizing a lot about who Todd really is. I think his whole plan was to find someone rich. I was thinking about it last night. I remember that towards the end of our relationship, he made lots of comments about how poor I am.
Aubrey: You’re not poor! You’re a college student just trying to make it through school.
Lin: Isn’t Sarah the one who dropped out sophomore year to become an influencer?
You: Yes, that is Sarah. She does actually have a big social media following. And as you both know, she comes from a lot of money.
Lin: Well, that’s pretty easy when you can buy whatever you want and post pictures of yourself on your dad’s billion dollar yacht.
Aubrey: So how long until you get back?
You: I think I’m staying another week. We’re sailing to the Bahamas. I was told that we will make port tonight.
Lin: Well, that sounds amazing. Do you know what you’re going to be doing?
You: I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to ask Joel what has been planned.
Lin: Oh, who is Joel?
You: Joel is just a friend.
Aubrey: I’m glad to hear at least you’re making friends. Then you have a way to escape from Sarah and Todd.
Lin: Me too. Any pool boys?
You: Haha Lin! Very funny. No, I have not made friends with any of the pool boys.
Lin: Well, maybe you should. There is no better way to get over someone than getting under someone.
Aubrey: I hate to say it, but I agree with Lin. Go get some! There have to be some island hotties at one of your stops.
You: I can’t believe you two. I have to go. Someone is knocking at my door. I miss you two so much!
Chuckling at the antics of your two best friends, you set your phone down on the bedside table, smiling to yourself. It's good to know that you have at least two friends you can count on for anything.
You wrap your towel tight around you and check the peephole in the door, relieved to see a maid at your door and not someone else since you're not even dressed yet. You open the door and are surprised to see she's holding a tray and a box in her arms.
"Good morning, Miss," the maid says with a friendly smile on her face.
Confused, you return her smile but look suspiciously at the items she's holding. "Good morning. I think there may have been a mix-up. I didn't call down for anything."
"Don't worry. There was no mix-up," she assures you, taking a step through the open door. "Where would you like me to set this?" she asks.
You open the door wider and let her in to set the tray down on the table. She sets the box gently on the bed and turns to exit, still smiling at you.
"Do you know who sent this?" you ask, tracking the woman with your eyes as she steps away from the bed. However, she does not answer your question. Instead, she continues to proceed to the door with a small knowing smile on her face that makes you wonder what she knows that you don't.
"Have a good day, Miss," she says, giving a small head nod as she flashes you one last grin.
"Thank you," you say and close the door behind her.
You make your way over to the tray first. Lifting the cover, you find a stack of pancakes and a side of bacon and eggs. There's also a small pot of coffee and a fluffy pastry. Your mouth is already watering at the sight of the food, and you inhale deeply, closing your eyes and imagining how good it will all taste, but you replace the cover.
The anticipation for what the box could contain is too great.
The box is tied close with a red ribbon, so you untie it and set it to the side. You remove the lid to the box and are surprised to find a white cotton robe. Immediately, a smile crosses your face, and a small giggle of glee escapes your lips. There's a small handwritten note resting on top.
Darlin,
Please meet me on our secret deck later this evening. Enjoy some time to yourself.
P.S. I wanted you to be comfortable.
Sincerely,
Joel.
You set the card down on the nightstand, right next to the little pink seashell, and you slip on the robe. It's even softer than the night before, if that's possible, and it smells like sandalwood - It smells like Joel.
The clock reads 4:30 pm before you finally get out of bed and dress for the day. You pick out a form-fitting sundress with a delicate blue shell pattern along the hemline. It's one of the pieces that Joel purchased for you at Amorebelle. You aren't used to wearing dresses, but you want to look nice when you see him.
You carefully do your makeup at the vanity table in your bathroom. As you step back and look in the mirror, you are impressed with your own appearance; you look like you belong – almost.
You make your way to Joel's secret deck. Your heart pounds against your ribcage as you get closer. You stop as you round the corner to the private location; all you can see is the back of Joel's head as he holds a phone to his ear. The muscles in his shoulders are tense, and you can tell by his low tone that the conversation is not a pleasant one.
"What do you mean he’s threatening to contact members of the family?" You hear Joel say. "He has demands now? What are his demands?"
There is a long pause after what Joel says, and you watch him running a hand through his hair; he seems to be on edge. He listens carefully to whoever he is talking to, and you consider turning around.
"We need to start protecting the family assets. I need you to review my father's will again and ensure it is airtight. He will not get a dime out of me."
You know you should turn around and give Joel privacy, but your curiosity gets the better of you when he starts talking about his family. You lean against the railing to wait, and it squeaks. It squeaks loudly.
Joel turns his head and gives you a small half-smile. He waves his hand, gesturing for you to come to join him. You hesitantly walk over, taking as much time as possible.
"I agree that's a good plan. Lock everything down, and let me know if we get any more calls from him. I'm counting on you, Alester. Don't let me down," Joel says. He hangs up the phone and sets it on the table next to the lounge chair he is sitting in. He sighs, turns to the laptop sitting next to him, and starts typing.
"Hey, I hope I am not interrupting anything," you say and slowly walk up to him.
"Darlin," Joel says as he closes the laptop and turns to face you. "You're not interrupting anything; I was just getting caught up on some work stuff."
"I just noticed you were on the phone, and I didn't want to interrupt a business call or something," you say, trying to explain why you were leaning against the railing and eavesdropping on his phone call.
"Oh, that wasn't business. I just needed to deal with some family issues," he says as he moves a white and blue striped towel and a bottle of tanning lotion off of the lounge chair next to him, gesturing for you to take a seat.
"Are you feeling better?" he asks, and a natural smile finally mirrors in his eyes.
"I am because of you. Thank you so much for sending me breakfast, and that robe was amazing. I honestly can't remember the last time I let myself lay around in bed all day. I really enjoyed it," you say and sit as gracefully as you can manage in the lounge chair next to Joel.
"Good to hear. You deserved a day to relax like that. You don't need to thank me for the robe; after seeing you in it last night, I knew it belonged to you. It looked like it was made for you, so it was only right that I send it down to you," he says.
His words make your heart beat fast again, and your face flushes. You know you are getting too close to your friend's very handsome and single father than is wise. But, when he says things like that, it is hard not to.
You think about telling him the truth about why you were so upset, but you don't want to ruin the fun you're having together by unloading about your ex-boyfriend, who is about to be his son-in-law.
"So, are you excited to walk your daughter down the aisle?" you ask, quickly trying to change the subject, so you don't blurt out your history with Todd.
"Honestly, I'm not sure if I will walk Sarah down the aisle or if she will want her mom to," Joel answers.
His response surprises you, and it must show on your face because Joel continues with his explanation.
"I was only with Marnie, Sarah's mother, for a short time. Marnie got married to someone else shortly after and had Sarah. She believed that Sarah was biologically her husband's and not mine. I didn't even know Sarah existed. She had Sarah take a DNA test when she was ten; she was linked to some of the Miller family members who had also taken the test. Only then did we find out that Sarah was mine."
"I had no idea, Joel. Sarah never said anything about any of this," you say. You feel so sorry for all of them.
"When Marnie's husband died, she told Sarah and me the truth. However, Sarah had grown up with another man as her father, and I never wanted to try and fill his place in her life. So I never really took on that fatherly role with her. Instead, I bought her everything she ever asked me for, and that was the basis of our relationship for a long time."
You sit there staring at the pain in Joel's face for a while. He never takes his eyes off of the ocean but continues to tell you about his past.
"Over the years, we've tried to build our relationship, and I take her on vacation with me every summer, but we still don't have the typical relationship you would expect. At times, Marnie and I have a hard time getting along; we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. So I stayed back and let Marnie raise Sarah; in a lot of ways, I don't agree with how she raised her," Joel says with a sigh. "That's why you're all here. Sarah and I don't know how to talk to each other because we have nothing in common and barely any memories together. So dinner gets a little awkward without others to fill the silence," Joel says, seeming slightly embarrassed about admitting this.
"I had no idea. Sarah always made it sound like her life was so perfect."
"In all the ways Sarah measures her life, it has been," Joel says, but you aren't quite sure what he means by it.
A maid with a tray of tropical cocktails interrupts your conversation, and she sets the drinks on the table between Joel and you.
"Thank you, Molly, these look wonderful," Joel says.
"Of course, sir," Molly says with a small smile.
"How's your sister doing? I hope she's making a speedy recovery."
"She is, sir. She should be back on her feet again in no time."
"When we get back, you should make some time to go and see her. I'll tell Reggie to add some more PTO for you," Joel says.
"Thank you, sir, I really appreciate that," she says and turnsto leave.
As you observe the interaction between Joel and one of his staff members, you realize you've never seen him treat an employee poorly. However, Sarah snaps at them to get their attention, and you suspect she doesn't even know their names or anything about them. She doesn't even treat them like they're people. This explains why you never felt like you fit in with Sarah and her friends, but you feel comfortable and want to spend all your time with Joel. He doesn't look down on you for being poor, but Sarah does. The irony of it all is that the only one on the ship who knows exactly how poor you are, is Joel.
You stare at Joel, and when he finally meets your gaze, you can't help but smile at him. "Thank you for telling me all of this," you say.
"Thank you for listening," he responds simply.
"It seems like we're making a habit of telling each other all of our secrets," you say with a small giggle.
"I hope that continues."
"Me too," you answer.
"Sarah has another dinner planned on the upper deck. Can I walk you up?" Joel asks you.
"I'm actually feeling a little seasick, I don't think it would be wise for me to eat right now," you answer. You don't feel like spending another evening with Sarah and her new fiance.
"Do you need a doctor? We have a nurse on the yacht, but we'll be making port in just a few hours; I can call and have one meet us at the dock."
"No, I'm okay, really. I just need to go back and lie down."
"Okay, if you're sure. I'll walk you down to your room," Joel said, checking his watch.
"No, no. I'm fine, really."
"Okay," he says reluctantly, "but please use the intercom in your room if you need anything."
"I will, I promise," you say with a small wave and leave to slowly make your way back to your room.
You take your time moving through the ship. You don't want to run into anyone heading to Sarah's dinner, where the topic of conversation is sure to be all about her recent engagement.
You're relieved when you see that most of the hallways are completely empty, so you quickly start toward your room.
"Hey!"
You turn and see Reggie walking up behind you.
"Hey, Reggie. It's been a while," you say with a smile.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I'm going back to my room. I wasn't really in the mood to spend dinner with everyone."
"Well, I was on my way to play some cards with some of the crew members. Why don't you come?"
Reggie must have seen the hesitation on your face. "Come on. It's actually fun to hang out with normal people every once in a while."
You laugh. You didn't realise that Reggie thought you were just as wealthy as the rest of Sarah's friends. "Reggie, I am a normal person. Let's go.”
Joel makes his way up to dinner alone, silently wishing you would be joining. You're one of the only ones in the group that he actually cares to have a conversation with. However, it might be for the best that you're not coming. Joel found himself always drawn to you, and if he wasn't careful, Sarah would catch on to his interest in her friend. He knows that would not go over well.
Joel's the last one to arrive, and he takes the only seat available next to Sarah's new fiance, Todd.
"I never got the chance to congratulate you on the engagement last night," Joel says as he shakes Todd's hand. "I rushed out because I had an urgent business matter I had to attend to."
Joel hoped that would adequately explain his quick departure the night before. He feels a little guilty that he didnt stay to celebrate and instead took off after you to make sure she was okay.
If he's being honest with himself, his evening spent with you, talking in the sauna, was much more enjoyable. He probably won't be winning any best dad of the year awards, though. He already smoothed things over with Sarah this morning. He showed up to her room with a pair of diamond earrings from Tiffany's. He'd bought them for her birthday, but they were perfect as a stand-in engagement present. Once he brought out the diamond, he didn't think she heard another word that he said. He’s happy to see that she’s wearing them tonight. She truly did look happy, and Joel prayed she would be in her marriage.
"Thank you so much, sir. I hope you approve of our engagement," Todd says.
Joel almost forgot that it was customary for a man to ask for his daughter's hand to get the father's approval of the marriage. "I think you two make a great couple. I'm looking forward to having you as part of the family, Todd," Joel says and then stands up. He taps his wine glass to get the group's attention. Everyone at the table quiets quickly and turns to him.
"I want to congratulate Sarah and Todd on their engagement. May they find happiness in each other and enjoy each other's company for many years to come." Sarah's friends all clap at this statement. Once the quiet returns he starts again. “As my engagement gift to the couple, I would like to throw you two an engagement party at my home here in the Bahamas."
This announcement receives a very excited response from all of Sarah's friends. Sarah's face is beaming at all of the attention she is getting. She smiles and stands up to make an announcement of her own. Joel notices she shakes her head gracefully from side to side, causing the earrings to catch the light. She is an expert at showing off wealth; no wonder she’s doing so well as an influencer.
“Thank you so much, Daddy! I'm so glad you approve, and an engagement party will be the perfect way to announce to the world that I'm about to be married. I am so excited about the upcoming wedding, and I would be honoured if all of you were part of our wedding party." Sarah is met with murmurs of agreement from the men and squeals of excitement from the women present. She sits down with a huge smile, clearly pleased with the group's reactions. “Daddy, can you hire some professional photographers for the engagement party? I need some really good pictures to post."
“Of course," Joel says.
“I wish we could have gotten some great shots of the actual engagement, but Todd didn't think about that part of it," Sarah says, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I told you it wasn't exactly planned. We had such an amazing day, and it just felt like the right time," Todd says defensively.
“I'm marrying a true romantic," Sarah says, resting her chin on Todd's shoulder.
“Is there anything else you two need?" Joel asks, trying his best to be supportive.
“I’ll need to pick one more bridesmaid so we have even numbers," Sarah says to Joel.
“Why not ask your old roomate?" Joel asks, confused as to why Sarah isn't planning on asking her most likable and attractive friend.
“Oh, I didn't notice that she wasn't here for my announcement. That sort of works out for the best, though. I’m going to ask someone different. She doesn't really fit into the vision I have for the wedding," Sarah says, sounding very much like a snob.
“And what exactly is your vision for the wedding?" Joel asks, annoyed with his daughter's uncouth response.
“I want everything to be glamorous," Sarah says as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I'll still invite her, but as part of the wedding party, you have to fit the aesthetic."
“That's true; it's not like she would be comfortable with the level of finery at the wedding anyway. It’s very obvious that she’s lower class. I think our guests would be able to sense that. If she can't afford to buy a new dress for her birthday party, it's not likely that she will be able to afford a bridesmaid's dress anyway," Todd says with a smug smile on his face.
Sarah giggles and then turns to talk to the woman next to her about possible venues for the wedding.
“Didn't you just meet her this week?" Joel asks Joel in a low voice.
“Yeah, Sarah told me they went to college together or something," Todd says and takes a bite off his plate.
“Then how would you know she couldn't afford a new dress for her birthday party?" Joel says with quiet suspicion.
Todd's eyes go wide in shock, and he nearly chokes on the food in his mouth. He takes a few moments to recover and then says, “I think Sarah told me that. She went to her birthday, and she had to borrow a dress because she couldn't afford a new one."
Although Joel doesn't doubt that Sarah would gossip about something as petty as not being able to afford a new dress, he finds it odd that Todd would remember something like that. Todd's reaction tells Joel that he is hiding something, and Joel's suspicion is only increased by his quick shift to join Sarah's conversation.
Do you and Todd know each other outside of Sarah?
Joel eats the rest of his meal in silence and makes an excuse about having work to do to get out of the rest of the evening's activities. Instead of heading back to his room, he goes to the captain to tell him about the change of plans. 
After Joel's conversation with the captain, he makes his way to his office, which is located a floor below the guest rooms. He thinks about going and checking on you but decides it is best to let you get some sleep.
Joel's office on the yacht is a carbon copy of his office at home. It has a large wooden desk in the center and a large dark leather armchair. The only difference is the view is spectacularly better on the yacht. A large windowed balcony sits behind the desk, so Joel can watch the ocean as he works.
Joel sinks into his leather chair and opens the laptop on his desk. A notification glows on the screen, informing him of the one hundred and twenty-seven emails waiting in his inbox. He pulls out his phone instead and finds his event planner's phone number in his contacts.
“Hello, this is Jessica of Jessica's events."
“Jessica, this is Joel Miller."
“Mr. Miller, it’s great to hear from you again. To what do I owe this pleasure?"
“I'm calling to see if you can organize a party for me. My daughter just got engaged, and I want to throw her an engagement party at my home in the Bahamas."
“Congratulations, Mr. Miller. I would love to help plan such a happy occasion. When can I pencil in your event?"
“Two days from now," he says, knowing the absurdity of the request.
“Did I hear you right? You want me to plan an entire event in two days?"
“If anyone can do it, it's you, Jessica. I’m willing to pay double."
“You have always known how to close a deal. I will have everything ready for you, Mr. Miller. Does your daughter have a theme in mind?”
Joel hates that he has to say it out loud, “She said the theme of her wedding is…glamor."
He hears a small giggle escape from Jessica on the other end of the phone, and she quickly tries to cover it with a cough.
“I know how it sounds," Joel says, embarrassed. “That’s why I am trusting you with this event. I know you will make it tasteful. After the engagement party, I’ll have Sarah talk with you about wedding plans."
“That sounds great, Mr. Miller. I will see you in two days."
“Thank you very much. Goodbye," Joel says and hangs up the phone. This wedding is going to be expensive, and Joel already expects to foot the bill for everything. Extravagant is one thing, but Sarah's taste is beyond even that.
Joel turns his attention back to his laptop screen and the blinking email notification, but he can't get you out of his head. Instead of working, he pulls up his social media pages and searches for your name. He quickly finds your social media pages. You're not very active; most of your pictures are candid shots of you and your friends, two women that looke kind and a lot more down-to-earth than his own daughter.
Joels slightly disappointed that you don't have more pictures for him to scroll through and very little about your life. He wants to know more about you, but it seems like you're very private with your online presence.
He sighs and closes the social media pages, finally returning to the emails he’s dreading sorting through. The newest email in his inbox makes his heart sink. It's from an unknown sender and contains a single sentence.
I know who I really am, and the whole world will, too, if you don't meet my demands.
"I am a normal person," you say again, smiling as you walk with Reggie. He raises an eyebrow skeptically at you.
"You don't believe me?" you ask.
"Right, because us normal people get invited to one of the largest private yachts in the world as guests all the time. You don't have to pretend you're not rich to fit in with the crew. They will like you because you are actually nice," Reggie says.
"I am the furthest thing from rich," you laugh.
"Oh, yeah? Prove it," Reggie says with a teasing smile on his face.
You quickly pull out your phone and find a picture of you and your two roommates in your apartment and show it to Reggie.
"What does this prove?" he asks.
"This is a picture of me and my two roommates, Lin and Aubrey; we are sitting in the living room of our one-bedroom apartment. I’m a bartender at a little dive bar, and I currently have two hundred and thirty dollars in my bank account," you say matter of factly.
Reggie's expression changes from one of teasing to one of shock.
"Are you serious?" he asks.
"I mean, I can pull up a bank statement if you really want," you say with a smile.
"Then how did you end up as one of Sarah's friends?"
"Sarah and I were roommates during our first few years at NYU. I think Sarah was placed in the regular dorm rooms to teach her what it was like to be a regular person or something," you say, only half joking. You still haven't figured that one out. Maybe her dad was trying to teach her a life lesson. "Anyway, she hated it and dropped out her sophomore year, but we remained friends and have been in and out of touch over the years. She randomly invited me on this vacation, and I accepted. I didn't expect the yacht to be quite this big, though."
Once you are done with your explanation, you are on the lowest floor of the yacht. You're surprised at how nice the staff area is. Perhaps you'd been expecting it to be like a scene from the lower decks of the movie 'Titanic,' but the lowest level of the ship looks like walking into a lobby of a four-star hotel.
You make your way into what must be the staff dining room. There’s a large group of people surrounding a circular table in the middle of a game of cards. Music is playing in the background, and snacks and beer litter the table. It looks like this is going to be the most comfortable you've been on your trip so far.
"Everyone be nice; we have a newcomer," Reggie says as he pulls out a chair for you.
The mood changes slightly as you sit down, and Reggie sits next to you. You realize you’re still wearing the sundress that Joel bought you, and you must look like you are made of money.
"Hey, I'm Max," says a man with black hair and olive skin.
"Hey, Max," you stick your hand out to shake his and you introduce yourself. 
"Nice to meet you. Tell us about yourself."
"There isn't much to tell. I'm a bartender at a little hole-in-the-wall in New York, and I'm trying to put myself through law school," you say nonchalantly.
"What bar?" a girl across the table asks.
"It's called McGregor's."
"No way! I've been there before," Max says. “You have the best nachos!"
You laugh. “Yeah, we do. I would eat an entire plate by myself if no one were watching."
You feel the entire table relax as they all realize that you aren't like the rest of the guests on the yacht.
"What are we playing?" you ask, grabbing a handful of popcorn.
"Strip Poker."
Your throat goes dry at the thought of undressing in front of a room full of strangers. You're afraid to swallow the piece of popcorn you just placed in your mouth. You look around, and everyone is still fully clothed, and your heart rate starts to slow. Max smiles, clearly finding enjoyment in your shock.
"Max, don't scare her off already," Reggie chuckles. “Do you want a beer?”
“You wouldn't believe what one of the 'Richies' asked me today,” Brenna says
"Oh, this is going to be good. Brenna always has the best stories," Reggie leans over and whispers to you. After a few beers and a hand or two of actual poker, everyone seems completely at ease with you.
"I was cleaning up a wine glass he'd dropped, and he started hitting on me. Obviously, he has no idea what the real world is like, so he starts asking questions as a way to talk to me."
"Oh no," Max says with a laugh.
"He asked me about living on the bottom deck of the yacht, and I tell him how it takes some getting used to because we are below the water down here. Then he asks me how we use our balconies if they're underwater."
You snort into your glass, glad you hadn't been taking a sip of the beer at the moment, or it would be flowing out of your nose. You set your beer down and ask, "Oh, please tell me you had a good comeback."
She smiles brightly, "I told him we could only use them at low tide. Then he nods and says, 'That makes sense.' I swear they are all clueless."
Brenna starts laughing, and the whole table joins in, but by the time you catch your breath, you have tears in the corners of your eyes. You have not laughed like this the entire time you've been on the ship.
"No offense; I know Sarah is your friend and all, but how do you stand spending time with them?" Max asks.
"Oh, trust me, it’s a challenge. I sneak off by myself whenever I get the chance. No one seems to really notice, especially after Sarah's engagement."
"Oh, man, her fiance is a real tool, isn't he?" Brenna adds.
"He's a social climber too, so they are actually a great fit," Charlotte says. Charlotte is one of the older staff members and hasn't said much throughout the night.
"Well, that makes sense about the fiance, but do you mean Sarah is one too?" Max asks.
They seem to have forgotten that you are there, or at least they forget that you know Sarah personally. However, you keep your mouth shut not because you want to know more, but because you are trying to act as if you don't care too much.
"I started working for Mr. Miller when Sarah and the horrible woman she has as a mother first came around. That same day, the staff was all told that Sarah was Mr. Miller's daughter and to make sure she had everything she needed. Marnie, Sarah's mother, spent the whole day ordering the staff around like she was the owner of the house," said Charlotte.
"From my experience with Marnie, that sounds about right," Max offers.
"Sarah was raised by another man by the name of Winston Radcliff. Some of the staff had been around when Mr. Miller first brought Marnie around. The rumor was that Marnie threw Mr. Miller aside for Radcliff right after she found out she was pregnant because Radcliff could offer her a better position in society."
You can't imagine someone who had the chance to be with Joel choosing another person over him. You can't help but ask, "What did Winston offer that Joel couldn't?"
"Radcliff was the next in line for an earldom. It turned out that the earldom came with a shabby little estate that cost Winston his fortune to keep standing. The marriage quickly turned sour, and when the earl died, Marnie was just as quick to get a paternity test for Sarah."
"In my opinion, Mr. Miller was better off not knowing the truth. Marnie always shows up asking for more money. Sarah has always wanted something, even though Mr. Miller buys her more than she could ever need." Charlotte says.
"Was Joel in love with Marnie?" you ask, not knowing if you really want the answer.
"No, I don't think he ever really loved her. Maybe he could have found a woman right for him if Marnie hadn't been around for the last fourteen years, scaring away every decent woman he has dated. She thinks that if she can keep him single long enough, he will fall back in love with her, but Mr. Miller will never forgive her for what she did."
You nod and turn to see Reggie staring at you with a strange, almost hurt look on his face. He turns away from you before you can ask him what's wrong.
"Well, I think I'm going to head to bed," Brenna says, and the others all stand up to follow.
"You should come play cards with us again," Max says.
"Absolutely! We are here every night, and you are welcome to join us," Brenna adds.
"Thank you. I will." You're happy to know they've welcomed you as one of them.
You say a quick goodnight to everyone and head back up the stairs to the upper decks. Reggie's room is on the lower deck, so you walk by yourself. It must be later than you thought because the lights in the pool area are already turned off.
You feel silly rushing across the dark deck, but it makes you sort of nervous being alone on such a big ship. You're careful to avoid the deck chairs this time, and you're relieved to make it to the doors leading into the guestroom corridor.
"Where the hell have you been?"
You stop dead in your tracks and don't want to turn around. You know that tone of voice from countless arguments. It's Todd, the last person on the entire ship that you want to be alone with. You slowly turn, knowing you're going to have to face him eventually.
He stumbles a step towards you, and you back up to avoid a collision if he falls.
"Are you drunk?"
"I believe I asked a question first," Todd stutters.
"I was playing a game of cards with some of the crew."
Todd laughs and rolls his eyes at you. He again stumbles a little closer, and you're trapped between him and your door. He leans forward and places an arm on either side of you, blocking your escape. You can smell the alcohol on his breath as he laughs. He's beyond drunk.
"Just like you. A yacht full of every thing you could want, and you spend your time with the help."
"Get off of me, Todd!"
"You know you still want me," Todd says, lowering his face closer to yours. You push against his chest, trying to get him off.
Todd is suddenly ripped backward, so forcefully you know it wasn't of his own doing. 
You see Joel standing behind Todd with a fist full of his shirt. “Get your ass to bed before I throw you off my ship."
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midnights-cosmic · 1 day
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Stay as Friends
Jeong Yunho x F!Reader
Moving on from Yunho is slow but it's sure.
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"Aren't you coming with us?" Your colleague asked. You've been working non stop since you got back from your trip in Italy. It was fun and it finally brought you the peace that you've always wanted to experience.
It wasn't like you were going through a break up or what. You and Yunho weren't even official. There was no label, really. It's just complicated. You're just really grateful on what relationship you both had and cherished it. Yunho may have enjoyed that simple-no label relationship, well you did too, until you fell. Hard. You took it upon yourself to distance yourself from him. And though it hurts, you made through it.
Still, there was a bitter taste in your mouth when you saw how Yunho adjusted to that so well. There were many times that you passed by each other in the hallway where you would avoid his gaze but he would smile at you.
Or sometimes be in the same elevator, unexpectedly, in which he would greet you hello and ask you how your morning went. You would always answer with a simple 'good' then that's it. You would stand there like a pole, not moving or talking until one of you has to leave.
Who are we kidding, you've told him many times that it's not his fault, and will never be.
That was about 8 months ago. Your last day at KQ was the beginning of your getaway to Italy. Honestly, you don't know what Yunho has been up to these days. Last time you heard, Ateez has been busy for their overseas schedule and preparation for their next album.
Other than that, you don't really know what's going on in his life. There were few posts from Ateez's instagram that you'd scroll by but that's it. Nothing deeper than pictures they show on their social media account.
"I don't get what you two have." Mingi said referring to you and Yunho, while looking out the ocean. Yunho and Wooyoung were too busy trying to throw each other in the water, laughing and wrestling.
KQ's CEO decided to treat Ateez and the staff to a trip in Jeju. Every one has been working hard and because of the many success of their hard work, Jeju trip it is.
Ateez were rarely recognized here, which in times like this, is really important. They get to walk around the neighborhood and even go to food markets. Sometimes, people got curious if they are celebrities because of their stylish outfits, but none of the members really dare to mention of them being idols.
You can only guess that they also want to make the most out of this break. You're sure Ateez knows that by the time they go back to Seoul, it means back to work.
"We don't have anything." You replied after a long silence. Yunho was able to throw Wooyoung into the water but Wooyoung grabbed his shirt, dragging him along. You can hear their laughter all the way from where you and Mingi are; just a small cottage to keep you off the blazing heat and serve as a shed.
The other members are still in the house, resting from the insane long ferry ride.
"So... The holding hands, having lunch and dinner together, sleeping in your house, ordering take-outs for each other is 'nothing'?" Mingi snickered.
You shrugged your shoulders. You don't even know what you and Yunho have. None of you has ever confessed, and none of you tried to initiate the conversation on what your relationship really is.
"I really hope this all works out for you." Mingi suddenly said. He stood up and picked up his phone.
Right... The only reason why he's not sleeping now is because he wanted to catch the sunset and take pictures. The sky is slowly fading from dark blue to an orange hue with tints of pinks and purples.
"I know you like him Y/N. I can't tell if Yunho feels the same way, but I'm sure he'll understand better if you say something." You watched Mingi took his strides, his figure getting smaller and smaller from your sight.
And just like that, your eyes flickered back to where Wooyoung and Yunho was supposed to be. You were slightly taken back seeing Yunho already looking at you. You smiled and gave him a small wave.
He waved back at you, but before he could say something, Wooyoung appeared behind him and dragged him back into the ocean. The corners of your mouth turned up at the two goof balls in the water.
Wooyoung's loud yapping and Yunho's protests was all you can hear, completely shutting out the voices of people passing by and the harsh gusts of the wind.
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"What's your instagram again?" Yunho furrowed his brows, trying to remember the username you mentioned a few hours ago.
"star_light.0823" You rolled your eyes.
"Star... light... dot. Zero-eight-twenty three." You watched him, sprawled in your couch like he owns it, typing away your username.
"Shocking. You're not private."
"No one would follow me anyway, except for my friends so..."
In just a few minutes, Yunho has reached your posts from way back in high school. You both laugh at some of your ridiculous heavy filtered selfies and landscape photos. Even the pictures that you've long forgotten were suddenly brought back to your memories.
"And this?" It was a photo of you holding a pepero and a bouquet of fresh flowers.
"Well, what can I say, I'm pretty and I'm popular in high school." You whipped your hair boastfully.
"Uh huh." Yunho teased. "How many peperos are these? Let me count."
"Yah!" It was clearly seen on the picture that there are only 2 boxes. The living room was filled with laughters and high school stories that whole afternoon. Both of you sharing different yet fun experiences from years ago.
"Yunho, thanks for being here with me."
"Hmm?"
"Whatever this is," You started, "I mean, I hope we could be as friends for as long as we can."
"I'll always be here for you when you need me, Y/N." He assured, and in that moment, you were satisfied. There was no label needed. Your loyalty for each other is enough to keep it.
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"God, I hate it here." You mumbled under your breath. Big or small, it was dumb for you think that all agencies work the same. YG Entertainment being the bigger one, doubles the workload that you used to have in KQ. Not to mention the management were astronomically different.
If back then in KQ you can interact with artists just fine, here in YG, they are stricter. You're not allowed to talk too much with the artists unless they chat with you. Not that you're planning on getting close with the artists anyway. You already know how that turn out the last time you got close to one.
Your phone vibrated with a text message, prompting you to look. A groan escaped your lips as you were reminded of the piling folders of today's work.
I did put this phone over here so I can remember every thing I need to finish, You thought.
Expecting an urgent message from your boss, your eyes almost rolled at the back of your head when you saw that it was from your colleague and long-time friend, Jia.
Jia Jaebeom wants to say hi to you.
You This is the third time. Not interested.
Jia Boo. Single.
You poked your head from your cublicle and look for your friend. You were not surprised seeing her holding her phone, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. You raised your brow back and all she did was stick her tongue out at you.
Jia Boo! Still stuck on that Ateez guy :P
You chuckled. Sometimes it really does cross your mind whether telling your friend about Yunho was a great idea.
You Nope, Italy changed me. Who's that Ateez guy again? Jia Sure sure. Jeong Yunho
You look up from your seat, watching how your friend giggle at her reply.
You What a real friend you are, bitc-- Jia Jeong Yunho :P
Shaking your head, you couldn't help but smile at your friend's childish behavior. Well, at least the mention of his name doesn't make you want to curl up in ball and cry like they used to. You're getting there, slowly but surely. Maybe one of these days, you'll have the guts to reach out to them again.
Even after every thing that happened, you miss their unpredictable funny moments and that familiar melody of Yunho's laugh. And maybe, just maybe, get to know each other again.
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"So, you did confess?" Jia's eyes went round. "Holy shit!"
"Uhuhm." You hummed in agreement.
"And then what happened?" Jia scooted closer, nudging your shoulder at the same time.
Your heart was pounding and your mind is clouded. You're not really sure if this is the right thing to do. Honestly, you blame the book that you read last night. Something along the lines of regretting the chances you didn't take and you wouldn't see it unless you try.
The concert ended about an hour ago and you asked Yunho to meet with you at the private parking lot before you part ways. You were blowing on your freezing hands when Yunho appeared.
You both said your hi's and hello's, and for some reason, Yunho's face is flushed and his eyes are beaming. "I also want to tell you something."
You gulped, you want him to go first. Before you could tell him, Yunho started excitedly on his speech.
"Remember that girl from weeks ago?" The idol trainee, yes. You uncrossed you arms and let him continue. "Well, she attended the concert tonight and..." Yunho is practically bouncing on his toes at this point. "...And she said, hear this, I was her favorite." He was glowing like the morning sun.
"Oh..." You bit your lip. "That's really good to hear."
"Right? I think I like her, too."
Late. That's all you could think of: You're late. You relaxed your breathing and forced a smile on your lips. "I, uh..."
Yunho's eyes narrowed at you. "Something wrong?"
You shook your head, "Nope."
"Well actually," You bit the insides of your cheek. "I like you."
Every thing then was a blur. Yunho spurting words of sorry's and apologizing. He was holding your hand when he did, but you assured him that it was okay. And that this is not his fault.
You were even able to throw a line of someone being better. There would be someone out there better. It was more of a comforting word to yourself, than a joke you told Yunho.
He laughed and agreed, "I'm sure you'll find him."
"Of course, I will. Duh. Remember those peperos in high school? Psh."
"Wow, I can't believe you're a martyr, Saint Y/N." Jia teased with humor.
"What can I say, this is me." You responded.
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You were staring at the series of pictures you've recently posted on Instagram. Starting from the mess of your kitchen after you and Jia baked cookies, to the mini clips in between of Jia mixing and fooling around, and finally the baked cookies. You made sure to include the first batch which was half burnt.
jiaaaaaa_ dare i say, i'm the best baker
Jia's comment was at the top, with a couple of your friends that sarcastically said it's the best looking cookies they've seen in a while.
You were about to exit the app when another notification popped up.
yu_yu.0323 liked your post yu_yu.0323 commented on your post
You can hear your heart beating from your chest. Of course, he doesn't have any profile picture on nor any info on his profile at all. But that username is and will always be familiar to you.
Absentmindedly, you clicked on it.
yu_yu.0323 the most peaceful cookies i've ever seen tbh :))
Yunho was defintely referring to the failed cookies which was either burned to crisp or the cracked ones. You don't know whether to ignore or reply even with just a simple emoji. It doesn't seem wrong to acknowledge his comment anyway.
star_light.0823 @yu_yu.0323 they really were. just not sure about it having a 'peaceful' taste.
You closed the app after that. Maybe it's better this way. No need for complicated things, just two friends interacting on social media.
You really do wish you would've just met now, though. This version of you is your best version. That version of you was a scared little girl. You would've told that girl to not run away and face it; it's okay to face rejections.
Someday, maybe you and Yunho will cross paths again. And maybe by that time, things would turn out better than it did.
[Unedited. Not yet proofread]
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oneverytiredperson · 3 days
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Continuation to this
You reached the table where Kelce and Topper where sitting, along with a couple of kook girls. The latter looking you up and down and turning to themselves to whisper between each other. You knew they were talking about you, but, who wouldn't? You stood out like a sore thumb. You decided to pay them no mind as Rafe gestured for you to sit down.
"Yo, y/n, I almost didn't recognize you!" Topper said.
"Yeah, it's all thanks to Rafey here" you said between gritted teeth. You hated your outfit so much. So revealing, so pink, so... "kook-y"
"Rafey?" Topper laughed. Rafe stared daggers at him, which made Topper shut up instantly. He put his hand on your thigh and pressed lightly, as a warning, he knew you had an attitude, but you were pushing it too far. The slight touch made you feel weird. You and Rafe could be considered friends at this point, but taking note of all the times you had been together, you don't remember him touching you in any way or viceversa. You just kept to yourselves, you respected each other's boundaries.
What was even weirder is that he didn't take off his hand from your leg at all during the entirety of the event. He just kept it there. His warmth and weight becoming more and more comfortable with the passing of time.
You tried not to dwell on it too much. It was just a simple friendly gesture, right? Nothing to think about. Nope.
Rafe looked at you, you were strangely silent. Unbeknownst to him, you were trying to supress the fluttering feeling of your stomach, caused by his hand on your thigh and your constant overthinking.
"You okay?"
His voice pulled you out from your thoughts, you looked at him and smiled, trying to conceal your true feelings.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Ready to get the hell outta here."
"Don't worry, you'll be out of that skirt in no time."
Why. Did. He. Just. Say. That.
You knew he meant no harm, like, he knew how uncomfortable you were in your outfit. But what he had said could be taken out of context. You flushed at the thought of Rafe helping you get rid of your skirt and shaked your head. He looked at you with amusement.
"What's wrong with you?"
Oh, so many things were wrong at this point.
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birdboy-blues · 7 months
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ngl I couldn't think of anything cool for today's prompt so. Mr. Mind
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cold-neon-ocean · 3 months
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Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..
(my AU black version and the og green)
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r2y9s · 1 year
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[the great ace attorney]
a bit of modern day au hmmk for you
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snackugaki · 1 year
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i have a problem, many problems, the fact they are all concurrent is also in itself a problem
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oc-atelier · 3 months
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Part 2 of the, "putting Leo in outfits," WIP sketches! The outfit this movie is from has a really soft place in my heart and I was so excited to sketch Leo in it last night, but trying to figure out the perfect pose to put him in to match the feeling of the outfit while also showing off more of his personality was a struggle dgjksljgjlk Thankfully, just sleeping on it and revisiting it today helped bc I ended up liking this pose a Lot better compared to the ones I was trying to make work last night
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 month
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If there is at least one thing I can credit FE for doing better than Tales in localization, it's not trying to actively go out of their way for an entire game to avoid subtext or direct text between two men that is romantic or implied romantic. Funny when it's so present that the attempt doesn't even work; infuriating that it was attempted to begin with.
So as much as I often have issues with some of FE's localizations, at least they have a leg up on loc Tales for that.
#DCB Comments#imagine changing entire sentences and vocal tones just to try to avoid it#if anything I'd say at least in FE the locs just... keep what's there like#they could've toned Soren and Houses Yuri down and they didn't. they just kept their lines or in some cases#especially with Houses Yuri I'd say leaned into them#have to specify bc Houses Yuri got to keep his bi agenda. Vesperia Yuri had the unfortunate issue of#the loc not wanting to keep his gay and trying reeeeally hard to avoid it#including altering entire sentences to avoid any woe is them misunderstandings about men having feelings for each other#meanwhile Houses Yuri is free to call men cute and lo and behold everyone loved that for him#they removed and altered a LOT of Vesperia Yuri's personality traits#(including any ability to express real sadness or fear bc woe is them if he's not a cool edgy man)#but they also really changed his tone toward Flynn PLUS some of what they say to each other#and twisted it to make it sound like Yuri was either angry or wasn't actually emotional abt him#forget the way they brought Grant George in for the DE release and made him sound just completely DEAD with zero personality#like. I can tolerate playing Houses dubbed despite my gripes with it (story based stuff)#it didn't feel like they were trying to alter LBGT+ aspects and they even for some rly leaned into it#basically if you haven't played Vesperia Yuri is... really gay coded. the loc pretended not to notice#in fact he's queer + gay coded bc and doesn't fit male gender norms and the gacha games LOVE that with his hair/outfits#Rays mind you is JP only bc it was shut down very quickly in the west and Vesp Yuri's story in Rays is uh#basically it centers around Flynn he loses his shit to protect Flynn and they do the usual like#don't-admit-it's-gay-outright in fictional media by using the ''Yuri's important person'' shtick#but he activates a special power in the middle of utterly raging to get Flynn back from their enemies#funny thing? that game never made it to that arc. I was told in about five months the western ver would've gotten that#but in some way I'm glad it didn't bc who knows how they would've tried to spin that#It's BAFFLING to me how you can get characters in Tales like JAY but the locs shake in their boots at the idea of queer gays#but given how allergic fictional media is to admitting a male character is gay -gestures to Ike and Vesp Yuri-#I'm not surprised I'm just actually angry that the locs try to censor homosexual relationships as much as possible even when they barely ca#if anyone does know Vesp Yuri and is confused on why I'm calling him gay coded despite what the dub did with Judith feel free to ask#bc I do ship them a little bit myself! but I just recognize that canon wise I really can't see him as anything but gay-demiromantic#but again at least FE locs don't shake in their boots anymore abt same sex pairs including men (side eyes Lucius/Raven)
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cowboyabunga · 7 months
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you never realize just how shit your closet is until you've gotta pack for a weekend away. i don't even WEAR half this shit what the hell
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sandcastle-art · 7 months
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hey who's this. [OC-tober day 2: New Character]
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shivasdarknight · 1 year
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@koopytron
Forgive my ignorance, but doesn't a set like this help expose people to cultures that they might not have known about? What about players that live in that country and want to dress up in their traditional clothes, are they not allowed to?
I’m responding over here mostly because my reply got a bit long.
First off, I’m no authority on the Sámi.  I want to make that very clear - I’m just echoing what has been said so far by people who have a vested interest in this gear’s removal.  And again, I want to reiterate by pointing out that for information your best bets are the initial letter to Square Enix, as well as this thread by a Sámi player.
The argument for exposure looks nice on paper, but usually isn’t ever executed well - especially in the case of the Far Northern attire.  FFXIV isn’t set up to teach people about cultures (unless it’s Stormblood and the two different fantasy Japans), it’s set up to use cultures as an aesthetic to give each nation a bit of flavor.  Thavnair is India, Ul’dah is your typical desert city, the elves are French, Ala Mhigans are Kurdish and Armenian, Xaela are Mongolian etc etc.  And how much care that goes into representing and educating players about these cultures varies depending on who it is and if Square cares about them.  And every instance of an indigenous culture has been the exact opposite.  Even their treatment of the Xaela and Ala Mhigans are extremely demeaning, but that’s a different topic altogether.
If Square had any interest in exposing people to Sámi culture, they would have contacted the tribe for a collaboration and make them have more of a presence in game than just a glam item that costs $18USD.  They would’ve also done research into what gákti actually look like, and maybe named each piece appropriately.  Instead, we have an offensive caricature that costs $18USD, doesn’t have any cultural presence in the game, and is nothing but a disconnected costume meant to line their paychecks.  And as a reminder: the Sámi were never contacted, Square has not reached out after this demand, and they’ve received no money for Square using their material culture for profit.  What’s sad is Disney did better than them after Frozen, as they similarly appropriated their regalia and even took their music.  Frozen 2 saw them collaborating and the film was even released in one of the Sámi languages, though I’m not entirely sure if they ever saw any amount of the film’s revenue - if someone happens to see this and they know, feel free to correct me.
I think the more important thing here is: do we even want Square to be exposing players to Sámi culture?  Because they do not have a good track record when it concerns portraying indigenous cultures.  Anyone can feel free to add in stuff I’ve missed, but there are plenty examples through the entire Final Fantasy franchise - including, but not limited to: including monsters that have roots in nativist imagery (anthropophage) but naming them after a particular spirit in Algonquin folklore that people keep asking to not be named or included in media; the entirety of Red XIII’s character (even the name he’s introduced by, despite him actually being named Nanaki); the initial portrayal of the Ronso in X (that then got “sophisticated” into the suddenly Icelandic Hrothgar); and the palewashing of Viera (mesoamerican indigenous coded in XII) in the jump to XIV by only focusing on the palest of individuals and making most of them white-looking.
And then there’s the stuff in XIV.  Most of the Tribes (which up until recently were literally known as beast tribes) up until Stormblood are based in some racist depiction of indigenous peoples - like Square did all of their research through racist American movies from the past century.  Many speak in the stilted English you’d see in racist advertisements and media (eg. the Vanu Vanu, and the yoda-like speak of the Ixal), they’re all anthropomorphized animals to some degree and not at all...y’know, human; you spend a significant amount of the game hunting them and being rewarded for doing so (especially if you do daily Clan Centurio marks), many are based on real cultures (Ixal are clearly meso-/south american, Vanu Vanu literally have totems and everything), and the Amalj’aa embody the entire Noble Savage trope to a T (only source for this is unfortunately Wikipedia because everything else was paywalled or didn’t touch on how racist this is).  We only saw this shift in not calling them “beast” tribes anymore around Stormblood because we suddenly got the Kojin (respected merchants based on Kappa), and the Namazu - techincally also the Lupin, but the shared factor is that they’re all predominant Japanese cultures that they’d never bastardize because the entire Doma half of Stormblood is them drinking the Japanese Imperialism kool-aid (again, another topic altogether and best discussed by someone like the journalist, Kazuma Hashimoto - who goes into it a lot on streams).  After that, we saw a deemphasis on indigenous cultures in the tribe quests and the removal of the name once Dwarves, Pixies, Arkosodara, Loporrits, and Omicrons were added.  Qitari are loosely here because they are the First equivalent of the Qiqirn, but they’d still “fit” in the old category by Square’s measure.
And then of course the Whalaqee, the entire New World nonsense, how they portray the Mamool’ja (who are from the “New World”), and the entire racist premise of the BLU questline.  Which is literally just “White Savior is the only one who can save this dying native tribe from evil oil ceruleum barons who brought diseases over, and your main reps are two animal looking guys and a very pale native boy like the tropes from the old movies”.  And yes, this is where the racist New World gear comes in, because that’s the clothing every single member of the Whalaqee wear despite it being a disgusting caricature of ceremonial gear with the war bonnet and everything.  The Mamool’ja are also frequently depicted as unintelligent and only suited for war, and are extremely sexual and there’s a fate where one gets kicked out of the Camp Bronze Lake baths for being too sexual.  Which again: nativist stereotypes that don’t just apply to indigenous tribes of the Americas, but also Japan’s own indigenous peoples - especially the Ryuukyuuan!
The New World gear wasn’t put in there to expose players to indigenous cultures.  They included a racist caricature so people could play dress up with those pieces, and locking their (racist) context behind a side quest most people skip or ignore.  And what ends up happening is whenever I do see players wearing it, it’s almost never people of those cultures doing it “for their own sake” - as it’s a racist caricature and not actually their cultural clothing or what they’d wear - it’s instead people playing out the racist caricatures.  I’ve seen white catgirls with neon pink war bonnets and bikinis, I’ve seen literal red-skinned players in the full get up, and many other offensive costumes that’s come as a result of this set being in the game.
But that set is obtainable through normal gameplay.  The Far Northern set is paywalled, making this especially egregious that it’s a racist caricature of Sámi regalia that they’re making a load of money off of.
There is no in game “Far Northern” culture - it’s just a racist costume for players (and they’re designing this for the majority white, and Yamato Japanese player base) to play dress up with.  They design the game with dominant cultures in mind (hence why everything is so heavy handed with European and Japanese aesthetics and gear, but there’s a suspicious lack of Korean and SWANA names, material culture, etc. when both exist in the game in their own ways through “Far Eastern” attire and Ala Mhigan stuff).  If they’d had any intention on exposing the players to Sámi culture, they would’ve contacted the Sámi for sensitivity or even just copyright issues.
But they didn’t.
Exposing and teaching other people about cultures varies depending on who you’re talking about.  It’s especially sensitive when you have a matter of appropriating not only a minority culture, but one that’s being suffocated by colonization and majority culture appropriation.  It’s why it’s not really an issue that places like Ishgard are a few mixes of European stuff, or that Hingashi is based in Japan pre-border opening, but it’s a major issue for them to bastardize Mongolian, Armenian, Kurdish, and the various indigenous cultures that they have in their inclusion through the Xaela (described as barbaric, and “will eventually be their own extinction” according to the Namazu quests), the Ala Mhigans (who are not treated with the same level of dignity or respect as the Domans, and are portrayed as aggressive and lower class), and the ARR-HVW tribe quests + the Whalaqee (see the above).
It’s fine to want to expose people to other cultures.  You just have to do it on the terms of the cultures themselves.  And going behind the backs of the Sámi people and creating a racist costume that costs $18USD isn’t exposing anyone to their culture (if they did, it’s through discourse like this); it’s just Square making money off of a racist costume so people can play dress up with regalia that isn’t theirs.
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englishutaupolling · 10 months
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UTAUs in casual outfits. That's the post.
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artekai · 11 months
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Well... I say Londra would never let Fross hang around his cult, but he doesn't need to know it's Fross, does he...? 🤔
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mystery-star · 1 year
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Aiiiiii we just got the motto for our firefighter-club party.
Frigging Wild West.
I suppose my intention here is clear, ain’t it?
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