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writerof-thewoods · 7 months

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"I'll call out your name, but you won't answer back" Whumptober 2023

Prompt 2: "They don't care about you." Word Count: 1.6k Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Crowley/Aziraphale or "Ineffable Husbands"

Warnings: None

Summary: Crowley has feelings after Aziraphale left and he gets big sad

Read it on Ao3 here!

6 months.

It’d been 6 months since that unfortunate…the simplest way of putting it, in Soho. 6 months and right in the middle of them, he got a call. A voicemail. It started off a bit timid, unsure if he should even do this, but continued on more passionately. It got very personal, going into the deep details of Heaven and Aziraphale’s feelings about the whole ordeal. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t all that he had hoped it would be. A bit of a letdown, however, he wasn’t showing it directly considering his voice still had its usually calm disposition. Eventually it became something Crowley hadn’t expected, but unknowingly craved. At almost the tail end of the message, the angel said something he wouldn’t soon forget. “I’m sorry….” His voice a tender whisper like always when he was upset. Crowley was no stranger to it, by now he had every little detail, inflection, and hesitation of the other memorized. Once again, he had Crowley falling to his knees and his heart skipping a beat.

If only he hadn’t missed it, then maybe his message would last forever.

Since that day, the automated recording of Aziraphale played on and on, deeply rooted in Crowley’s subconscious. Whenever there was a quiet moment or was about to fall asleep, he would think about it and stare off into space. The angel had him hooked like a sailor to a siren, falling into the sweet temptation of his song. If there was one thing it did other than driving Crowley mad, it somewhat relieved the anger he had towards him. He wasn’t angry, he didn’t even like it, to be quite honest. Jealous? Betrayed? Definitely, but the anger in those feelings melted away. He could never truly be mad at him. He just wished the both of them hadn’t been so clueless about it all. That he hadn’t missed his call, that he was more direct with how he felt instead of rushing in, that he hadn’t scared off the one thing that actually meant something to him. That Aziraphale stayed, yet the last thing he could never ask of him. He knew how much doing the right thing meant. It had to be one of them and after all he was Crowley, it wasn’t like he was going to do anything “moral” any time soon. Plus this was his best friend, and in the deep recesses of his mind, his soulmate; he wouldn’t make him choose. There were many things he could ask or do to others, but to the angel, he just couldn’t.

Now as the demon laid in his flat staring at the ceiling, the overwhelming urge to pick up the phone returned.

He suspected it wouldn’t go through, that the angel would prefer to hear from anyone else but him, but a small part of him argued against it. It wasn’t a big deal. He’d done it hundreds of times before, what was stopping him now? Some petty feelings? No. He was just being a baby, as always. Clicking his tongue and groaning slightly, he dragged his hand across his face, trying to bring himself back to reality. He turned his head to look out the window and stared disinterested at the lamps lighting up his dark corner of Mayfair. Any other time he wouldn’t have paid it much attention since it just wasn’t a big deal. Now though, the warm glow seemed to ease his mind, just a little bit. After a while of looking out into the night, Crowley sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Guess I could give it a try. Why not?” He whispered to himself and turned around. Sitting with his back towards the wall, he took the telephone next to his bed and dialed the number.

The few moments it took for it to go through had him anxiously pinching at the skin on his arm. Why was it taking so long…? And why did he care? His mouth went dry as time dragged on until he was brought out of his nervous stupor by a voice.

“I know you’re there, are you just not gonna say anything, dumbass?” Gabriel replied disinterestedly when he answered the phone.

Crowley raised an eyebrow and looked over confused. “How’d you know it was me? That recognizable, am I? Hm, doesn't seem like much of a stretch, I’ll be honest.” He shrugged.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and rubbed his temple. “Yeah. If you actually called for something important, maybe do it instead of wasting my time. This is a very busy line, you know.”

Crowley scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure it is.” He closed his eyes for a while before opening them again. “Why did I think this was a good idea?” He sighed, regretting this whole call in an instant. He knew it was dumb, Gaberial was just proving his point. “Nevermind, it wasn’t important…” He muttered before putting the setting the receiver back down on the display. Albeit a little roughly. He shook his head, pissed at himself for even thinking about it in the first place.

With nothing better to do, he stood up and poured himself a generous glass of wine. Red, to be specific. He just wanted to forget and he knew he couldn’t forever, but that moment of bliss that’d come after he couldn’t resist. Moments dragged on in a slow slog as a second cup was slammed down on the table. In the hope that the sweet release of sleep would come soon enough. If the slowly emptying bottle was anything to go by, the demon was about to pass out from delirium. Not before crawling back into bed though. He’d made the mistake of painfully waking up on the ground too many times to risk that again.

Sinking into his bed and hiding underneath his mounds of blankets, he fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

The angel looked nervously at the door before knocking. He knew it was a bad idea showing up here, especially unannounced. He wasn’t normally one for such an informal gesture, but now was the exception. He’d understand, right? Probably not, yet it was still worth a try.

Crowley answered the door to find an uncharacteristically anxious angel. He couldn’t believe it….was-was that really him? No..no, it couldn’t be….

Aziraphale’s eyes widened and he was brought out of his panic to see a pair of golden eyes staring at him, confused, clueless, and a bit…hurt? It was odd to see him without his sunglasses, so he could clearly see he was feeling something, just not exactly what.

“Crowley-! I know you must be furious to see me, especially just at your door without saying anything. But I can explain, before I do though, I really need you to know this.” Aziraphale’s face softened and he turned to look the demon in the eye. “I’m sorry. For…everything. I’m not asking you to forgive me, but you’re my friend. And I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you, but I know I did….”

“And it was one of my biggest regrets.”

Crowley was taken aback. How was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn’t believe it. His breath hitched in the back of his throat and he bit his lower lip, determined not to get upset over this.

“Well, I guess you ought to know how I got here. To put it lightly..” Aziraphale paused and chuckled sadly. “I fell, or got demoted technically. Turns out they really didn’t need me after all, I tried to fix too many things and they just weren’t having it. This isn’t me trying to get your sympathy though, but I thought you should know.”

Crowley couldn’t help it. He started to laugh despite his feelings. A slow sad chuckle. Shaking his head, he felt himself almost smiling. “I’ll be damned. The great “Aziraphale” really became Mr. Fell, I can’t believe it. You cheeky bastard.” He laughed and looked at Aziraphale, that familiar face making his heart flutter once again. He couldn’t believe it. He had to be joking. Right?

Aziraphale laughed as well and felt his cheeks turn red in embarrassment. “I’m serious, shockingly enough. I still can’t believe it.” He admitted. “It looks like we have something else in common, other than knowing I’m a complete idiot. I knew I should’ve at least said something to you before leaving, hell, I could’ve called you back. But I was too caught up in my own head to do it.” He sighed and shook his head.

Crowley stepped forward and tilted his head to look at the angel. “You’re right about that. You are an idiot.” He smirked while pressing his face into his shoulder.

Aziraphale gasped in fake shock and pretended to look offended. “You slithery little menace.” He looked down and pulled the other into a hug, resting his chin on the top of his head. “You have no idea how I’ve missed you.”

Crowley was surprised at first at the sudden motion, but quickly melted into the embrace. He thought he’d never know how much he’d hurt, how much he missed him until now. He could tell that those bright, knowing eyes understood. All that had happened before wasn’t forgotten, but didn’t matter to him anymore. The only things that did were him and Aziraphale. His angel. He muttered back, muffled by still pressing against his shoulder.

“Likewise, angel.”

~~~~~~~~~~

As much as it seemed so and he wanted it to be, it wasn’t real. He hated himself for it. For wanting so desperately for that to happen. To feel him, see him, at least hear his voice again, even if only in his head. Only as a dream made to soothe his mind that would inevitably leave him empty. Tears on his pillow as he cried in the darkness, both relieved and torn that he was alone.

However, if the figure standing at his doorway was anything to go by, then maybe he wasn’t alone after all. But the sleeping demon didn’t notice.

_____________

Okay I promise I'm not dead xD I know it's not a big deal, but I just wanted to let you know. I've finally gotten back into writing and I'm gonna get my asks answered as soon as I can, so tysm for putting up with me!! Also, happy October! It's finally spooky season and I'm s o excited :D. Especially since I'm going to do Whumptober for the first time (even though I'm 6 days late 😭) Don't worry, I'm still going to do my usual content too, this'll just be more active/take up more of time. That's all, so there'll still be plenty of normal not sad content on here <3 Thank you guys so so much for putting up with my random absences, life's just been pretty busy recently and I suck at managing my time well. I hope you're all having a wonderful day and remember to take care of yourselves! Rest, eat something, have some water, all that fun stuff and I'll be back with some content soon enough :D

#agere blog #my writing #im not dead i promise #im back lmao #whumptober 2023 #ai less whumptober #whump writing #whump prompt #whumptober prompts #whumptober prompt 2 #ineffable husbands fic #ineffable husbands whump #good omens fanfic #good omens whump #crowley #aziraphale #anthony j crowley

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