#im the orcs

[imperial-agent]

The one you gravitate towards the first time playing any cRPGs. Included Pillars of Eternity races and Divinity Original Sin ones.

#baldur's gate 3 #divinity original sin 2 #pillars of eternity #dnd #baldur's gate #separated out the tieflings since i know these will be a popular option and i didn't want to lump them with weird humanoids since #i dont think that many people go for those and i want to see my fellow weirdos #bc yes now that im replaying bg2 and pillars and divinity i am playing exclusively as either half-orcs or aumaua or the undead..... #nothing screams im nonbinary more than my first race choices in a given video game being everything but human or elf #dungeons and dragons #poll #polls

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

#humans are space orcs #humans in space #earth is a deathworld #earth is space australia #tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag #also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people #write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA #MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage. #especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry #evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally #ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting #after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater

[electoons]

I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution

#i ask if anyone wants this job and everyone starts whistling and checking their phones #their magic phones. theyre scrolls #mia.txt #tes #skyrim #oh wait no i forgot j'zargo wants the position and actively wishes you were dead so he can be archmage #and nirya as well. you know what maybe its a good thing im the archmage because im never there #i drop in every few weeks for 10 minutes then leave. the place pretty much runs itself right #reddit says “they have a bullying problem” yeah i know i married him #and he's the new archmage's special little princess and he can do whatever he wants forever. call the police about it #dont bring your piddly ass problems to the archmage shes busy girlbossing (committing widescale atrocities) #(update to clarify the princess is enthir. short king scored a 6'5“ dommy mommy orc with the biggest strap in tamriel congratulate him NOW) #(huge W for the bisexual mer community #L for skyrim as a whole because they were both already insufferable enough on their own and now theyre making each other worse)

[cowboythewizard726]

beautiful orc girl leed helllOOOOO beautiful leed alert oh my GOD she's so cool WOOAHHHH beautiful siilly girl she was really pretty and awesome and so kind i think shes wonderful and there should be a statue made just for her thats really big and in the center of everything and she should get anything she wants ever smile face

#LEED LEED LEED!!!! #thank u for being s pussy chilchuck mouse man so she could yell at you #okay u wermnt being a pussy you just watn your friends to be okay i get it #i think its funny to call you a pussy #and mosue man #im sorry your're divorced i get it #this istn about YOU this is about LEED #LEED ORC LEADER #LEEEDDDD #GOD SHES SO COOL #AND AWESOME AND GREAT #yesterday i played dnd for the first time #and i got bonked in the head with a stone club #and now id like to imagine that was her she did that #wow #shes so cool #and shes really cute too awww awww #wonderful girl everyonme should love her #gonna be honest i wish she had eaten all of them #i support and encourage and endorse and urge women to eat people #leed dungeon meshi #leed delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers

[dalblauw]

Tusk, my half-orc Druid 🌼

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #half orc #druid #digital art #artists on tumblr #original art #original character #oc #monstergirl #illustration #im finally getting the hang of playing druid class #but im also thinkin about multiclassing into barbarian bc it's my personal first instinct to just hit shit with her staff #instead of doing spells or beast form ghghghghhgg #dalblauw ocs #tusk

[toxooz]

finished a page early so im allowed to finish one (1) Ollie wip as a treat

#ollie #sweaty ollie just sitting there knee up in different angles save me #but thats iT i only did this bc im sick and miserable and it made me significantly less LMFAO #also yes im gradually giving him more hair after drawing so many hairy ass men ollies starting to look like a naked mole rat #PUT SUM HAIR ON THAT BEAST OF A MAN #also the next update sould be 10 or 11 pages so yeehawwww #and im on 2 goin on page 3 now #the best part abt being so sick i wont leave my apartment is i have an excuse to draw all day teehee 💀 #my art #oc #original character #monster boy #monster #monster oc #orc #half orc #tiefling oc #tiefling #demon #half demon #monster boyfriend #terato #exophilia #muscle #muscular #skater #skaterboard

[dnd-smash-pass-vs]

On the left, the Yuan-ti Abomination! 10 ft (3 m) long snake person, so many of these! They can constrict, cause fear, and have mild mind manipulation! Fun nature fact: Snakes and lizards actually have two hemipenes (cloaca extensions for reproduction), each hooked up to a different teste so they can swap between them while one's recharging. Given this one's almost entirely snake, I'd assume it has the same. They also means two clits!

On the right is the orc! 6 ft (1.8 m) tall and naturally beefy, enhanced by a love of fighting and wrestling. 5e orcs are either green or greyish blue depending on the setting/location, this one being grey. Meaning it's one of the extraplanar invaders from planet orc, who chilled out quickly because they don't have to deal with messages from constant the gods. Don't worry about it. I don't think I need to explain what an orc is.

#yuan ti #orc #smash or pass #dnd 5e #dnd #d&d #5e #d&d 5e #I keep having to stretch the bracket to fit the yuanti name #I was already voting orc but now Im also rooting for it out of convenience XD

[improper-use-of-germx]

On a crew where most members go through some kind of heat, it's good to have a human around. Even if humans have a bit of a wild reputation, it's good to know that there's always one person on board who can take care of business without any biological interruptions.

Some humans can offer more than just covering a few shifts, though. Turns out when you're 120 million lightyears from your home planet, it's handy to have a species as notoriously horny and risk-seeking as we are.

#i found out my blood type is AB and they said I'm a Universal Reciever #so what im saying is humans should be called that from now on in all alien romances #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans and aliens #monster x human #alien x human #alien x reader #monster x reader #alien #alien imagines #imagines #monster boyfriend #nsft warning #ns/ft

[skullyfuck]

im diving back down the humans are space orcs hole and im just thinking. what tf would they thing of humans that can actually growl? because, i dunno bout y'all, but ya boy can do a proper ass growl.

not even like "it sounds like im choking on hair" thing. i have no clue why now, but i taught myself to do it when i was like 7 and its stuck with me ever since.

so imagine, you're facing down this alien creature thats rumored to be strong as shit, it's bloody pissed at you, and then it fuckin growls? what the fuck do you mean they can growl???

#idk im about to go to bed and this was swimmin around in my head #humans are space australians #humans are weird #humans are space orcs

[mybrknhrtt]

my half orc barbarian tav wearing wyll's clothes very important compilation (to be continued)

#baldur's gate oc #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #half orc #barbarian #moose coronary heart #she just looks too good #im not sorry wyll #tav simply wears it better #lae'zel already went crazy over them #we absolutely love to see it

[omegaversereloaded]

Skyrim and beer cocktail kinda tuesday!!!

#im making a new character ^__^ two handed orc u know what's up

[quantumfeat72]

ok i just had a humans-are-space-orcs thought

i grew up in bear country. like, the “you can’t leave food in your car because the bears will break your car and eat it” kind of bear country. so up there people make sure to teach their kids how to avoid getting eaten by bears. and you know the number one thing you do to avoid encountering a bear in the first place?

you make sure it hears you coming

if you’re hiking with a friend, you talk loudly the whole time. if you don’t want to do that, or you’re alone, you wear bells or something else that makes noise. because bears aren’t stupid, they know humans are trouble, and they don’t wanna fuck with you any more than you wanna fuck with them

like. think about that. bears are walking tanks. they can cave in the door to a house or move around a 500 pound dumpster like its nothing. you can shoot a bear with a gun and not do much more than piss it off. a bear could absolutely pick off one lone human on a hike for a free meal. but bears never hunt humans, and they rarely attack humans

like imagine an alien visiting earth and their human friend hands them a bell and says “when we go through here we gotta make sure the local apex predators know exactly where we are at all times”

and they’re like “...oh, yes, of course. the other predators on earth must have learned that they can’t kill a human, and it’s better to avoid a fight if you can”

and the human says “no, if a bear attacked us we’d die”

and they’re like, wait, what?? you want to give our exact location to something that could easily kill us? do you have a death wish??? and their friend is like, no, look, bears don’t fuck with humans if they can help it

not because they can’t, but because they know better

#humans #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #space orcs #lukewarm takes #mine #and YES it is more complicated than that #but 'bears dont like to be startled and are more likely to attack if theyre scared and confused' #and 'they don't really hunt much of anything besides fish' #just don't quite have the same poetry to them. im a fiction writer not a scientist #i've been working on a prequel to that humans-are-space-orcs story i wrote forever ago #in part because it broke 1000 kudos which like #holy shit #but yeah i have a draft that i gotta work on some more but im hoping to have that out soonish #100 notes #DAMN that was quick :o #500 notes #1000 notes #5000 notes

[thefunkyspoon]

Humans are Weird

Ok, so everyone's talking about humans being super freaky to aliens, but what about neuro-divergent humans? Like, an ADHD-er is sitting in their room, completely still, while they have a task to do. Not a hard one, and certainly one they could easily do, but their brain just *won't let them.* Because executive-dysfunction sucks.

And like, an alien (let's call him Quĺ) walks in, and is super confused.

"Human Emma? Why have you not cleaned your pod, are you sick?" Quĺ asks, his one eye furrowed as he peers at the human lying on the ground.

"Are you sleeping? I'm aware that is a thing humans do, though I didn't know they did it with their eyes open." His confusion increases, as Human Emma sits up, and lifts her lips up, which is apparently a form of greeting to humans, though it was a bit horrifying to the aliens.

"Hm? Oh, hi. Er...yeah, that." Human Emma says, her cheeks tinged with a slight pink. "Sorry. I haven't been able to do it today." She mumbles, and looks around her messy pod.

"What do you mean, 'haven't been able to do it'? You're not injured, yes?" Quĺ inquires, examining Emma with a concerned look. To his surprise, the human laughs, a distraught sound to Quĺs.

"Oh, no. It's just... a thing some humans deal with, I guess? It's odd." She explains.

This confuses Quĺ even more; he wasn't aware humans just...couldn't do things sometimes, even if they *could.*

"I'm not sure I understand. Are you feeling well?" He looks really confused, as this wasn't a thing he was aware of. For aliens, this was an unheard of concept. If they had a task, and had all means to complete it, they did. And he had seen humans do the same thing, so why was this different?

"Yeah, I'm fine." Emma reassures him.

Quĺ decides to ask another human what's the issue. He calls out to Human Greg, an older human. Maybe he could explain?

Human Greg walks to her pod upon request, and asks what's needed of him.

"Well, Human Emma was given her weekly task of maintaining her pod, as we all are. Though, it's been all day, and it hasn't been completed. Is there a reason humans do this?" Quĺ asks, still unsure what was wrong.

"Well, is Emma feeling well? Emma, are you sad?" Human Greg asks Emma, and sits on the floor beside her, giving her a reassuring smile. This only made Quĺ more curious. What did that have to do with anything? It's a feeling, but she could still complete it, right?

Emma shakes her head, a movement that means "no" to humans. Quĺ had learned it was best to not question humans odd behaviors, but sometimes he couldn't help but ask.

"No, my ADHD is just acting up. Sorry, I could've explained this to Quĺ." Human Emma says, and Gred smiles and nods understandingly. But this made no sense to Quĺ, and he was concerned by now. What was ADHD? Was it an illness? Could he catch it? Was she sick?

"ADHD??What does that mean? Do all humans have it? Are you okay??" Quĺ was increasingly dumbfounded, and required an explanation ASAP.

"Oh, do you aliens not have a similar thing? Here, let me explain..." Emma explains what it is, and how it affected life, and how not all humans had it. Apparently, it was a 'neuro-divergent thing', which was something that also needed to be explained to him. He was reassured (again) that everything was fine, and she would try to do it soon.

Quĺ eventually understood, or got enough info to not worry, though it was still a confusing concept. He was not aware Human Emma had this "ADHD", and wondered on who else had it. He asked Greg, who denied it.

It was also quite odd for him, because some other humans, such as Human Sophie and Human Nick acted just as confused and even uncomfortable with her, even though it was nothing new to them. Why was that? Quĺ eventually left, feeling a bit better now that he had an explanation. Everytime one of the humans acted rude to Human Emma because of her "ADHD", they would get glares from most aliens, who were notified of the situation. They also made accommodations to Human Emma, as she could get overestimulated easily. They did this by acquiring soundproof headphones for her, and a sensory room where she could calm down. Human Emma was confused as to why they did this, as she was not used to people simply normalizing it, and treating her normal when discussing it.

This angered Quĺ, as it seemed like common sense to him and most other Quĺs.

Human Greg helped Emma clean her pod after an hour, assuring her it was no big deal. This made Quĺ happy, and returned to his station as a mechanic.

The End! <3 hope you enjoyed it

#humans are weird #adhd memes #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #adhd brain #reading #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #bookworm #im tired

[gammelgaedda]

i thought about how cool i always thought the uruk-hai were and then started sketching an orc woman

#gaeddart #i like my orcs nasty looking green humans with teeth just dont do it for me im sorry

[laios-burger]

Anime onlys concurring that laios isn’t necessarily ’horny’ so much as he is just Weird completely miss the omake where he says he’d totally fuck another guys wife and thats tragic isnt it

#i think this may as well go hand in hand with infantalizing autistic coded chars but im not here for that. #im here for laios x adult orc women #arthur talks #dungeon meshi

[toxooz]

the gym bros tryin to get Ollie to be their spotter like 🥺👉👈💐💐🙏

#ollie #yes thats one of pontis shirts he forgot his clean one at home will make a shitpost comic abt it later #my ass rlly all ''oh boy i finally finished drawing the same 4 ocs over and over again ''🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ draws the same oc yet again #IMMEDIATELY #i ahve to draw sweaty ass men to cope with the fact that im sweating my ass off everyday fuck summer man i hate this shit #if i dont sexualize it i will rip my skin off like a werewolf in a fit of uncomfortable rage #oc #original character #my art #monster boy #monster #monster oc #orc #half orc #demon #half demon #tiefling #muscle #pecs #gym #terato #exophilia #monster bf