#im very proud of myself for not Going Overboard i thought this was going to be much mire complicated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kyovtani · 4 years

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𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 – 𝒊𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒛𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒋𝒊𝒎𝒆

࿏ pairing: iwaizumi hajime x chubby female reader ࿏ genre: fluff, smut, angst; best friends to lovers!AU ࿏ word count: 11.6k (at this point i have no explanation, im sorry) ࿏ warnings: swearing, mentions of body image issues, self doubts, anxiety, bullying, fat shaming; as well as violence and blood (iwa gets into a fight mwah); ddlg (daddy dom-little girl) dynamics, soft dom!iwa, body worship, praising, sugarcoated degradation, spitting, choking, fingering, face riding, unprotected sex

࿏ Summary: After four years of trying to get over your stupid crush on your best friend, said male finally comes back home and all of a sudden all of those plans are thrown overboard...

Even though you‘ve known about it for so long now, you still feel your heart skip a beat when Matsukawa mentions his return to Japan and no matter how hard you try to, you can‘t help the way the disgusting mixture of anxiety, nervousness and excitement starts filling your veins.

After all it‘s been literal years since you‘ve last seen him.

Iwaizumi Hajime, former Seijoh Ace, now freshly majored athletic trainer, your best friend of ten years and — love of your life.

However, of course he doesn‘t know about the latter and as pathetic as it may sound, you‘re quite proud of yourself for hiding your feelings for him so well that he hasn‘t suspected anything in all these years the two of you have been friends.

Of course it‘s painful and basically nothing but literal torture to watch the guy you‘ve lost your heart to years ago, move on with his life thinking he‘s nothing but a friend to you, but you know you‘d always choose this pain over the one of rejection and shame.

Because after all you‘re not his type or what he looks for in a partner and you're very much aware of it.

And no matter how many times you daydream about a life as his girlfriend, you won’t ever forget about the fact that Iwaizumi Hajime, basically a literal athlete, would never date someone who looked like you.

Growing up on the bigger side, physically wise, has always been difficult and something you're struggling with to this day. You had always hoped for those extra pounds to disappear once you hit puberty, just like it had happened to all of your friends but those hopes were quickly destroyed when you still found yourself hiding from full length mirrors to avoid having to look at your own body in your third year of High School.

By the time you turned eighteen, you had tried every kind of diet in hopes of losing weight but all of them just ended with you losing motivation and every bit of your happiness and even though you still struggle with it in your mid-twenties, you‘ve come to terms with it.

This is who you are and despite taking literal decades to realize it, you‘ve slowly but surely started accepting it.

However, when it comes to relationships, you‘ve given up completely.

After years and years of being rejected, hidden, fat shamed and disrespected by men who hated their own attraction to bigger women, you stopped wasting your time and energy on dating. If you wanted to hear someone shame you for being big, you could just go home to your family or back in your memory to remember all those mean things the skinny girls in your school had thrown at you.

Or you could just look in the mirror and let your brain do the job after eating literally anything.

Just thinking about a guy like Iwaizumi looking at you in that way has you chuckling coldly and every time you imagine confessing to him, it ends with a broken heart on your side because your brain loves to keep things realistic and never once have you considered the possibility of him liking you back.

It‘s not that Iwaizumi, or any of the Seijoh Volleyball boys, have treated you badly or even slightly differently in the three years you were their manager, but after having to deal with fat shaming your whole life, it has become quite difficult for you to believe that anyone found you attractive at all.

Especially people like the widely known Seijoh third years who also happen to – still – be your closest friends.

And unfortunately, as glad as you are that Iwaizumi remains rather oblivious to your year-long crush on him, the other boys, including the professional athlete to be, Oikawa Tōru who’s currently living his best life in Argentina are pretty much aware of your feelings for the trainer.

So, just as usual whenever the topic of Iwaizumi Hajime enters the conversation between the other two, you’re met with pitying stares from Takahiro and a lot of teasing coming from Issei. But at this point you’ve gotten quite used to it and don’t mind the brunette’s words, whereas you still find yourself growing absolutely annoyed at the way Makki stared at you.

“Stop staring at me like that, Hiro!”, you hiss and roll your eyes, the pity in his face so evident, if you didn’t know any better you’d think he’s mocking you.

“Just confess to him already!”, the strawberryblonde hisses, running one of his pale hands through his locks before he takes a big sip from his beer.

“Yeah, sure!”, you spit back, your words dripping in sarcasm and annoyance as you try to avoid your chest from growing even heavier at the thought of your best friend coming back after all those years.

“He broke up with that blondie months ago”, Matsukawa begins, his naturally sleepy gaze roaming your face attentively, “and he’s coming back to Japan. Now you really have no excuse left, Y/N”, and just as usual his words hit the right spot and all you can do is let out a shaky sigh before the intensity of your insecurities breaks down onto you like a huge wave.

“I‘m not his type, Mattsun”, you hiss, the bitter taste of reality coating the muscle of your tongue in the worst way possible, “and I‘ve had enough males reject and– or fat shame me. If I have to add Hajime to that list as well, it’s going to break me.”

You feel the two males’ soft gazes on you, whereas you can‘t help but focus on the napkin in between your fingers in hopes of distracting yourself from all those dark thoughts by nervously pulling at it.

“Iwa‘s not like that, Y/N”, Makki replies, brows furrowed in irritation; something you've grown quite used to seeing whenever the topic of your body image issues occured.

“Has he ever dated a big girl before, hm?”, you reply and look at him with arched brows and your lips pressed into a thin line. At the lack of response from the two men in front of you, you just lean back and nod.

“That‘s the point”, you take another deep, shaky breath; the tears threatening to spill from your glossy eyes at the thought of your pretty faced best friend and only men in your heart, “nobody likes women who look like me in that certain way, my loves. Every guy I‘ve been and slept with wanted to hide me or the relationship we had because they didn‘t want to be seen with a big girl.”

Suddenly you‘re hit with the memory of all those times you went home after any kind of intercourse with a male who had brought your hopes up with sugarcoated lies. Only to receive a harsh reality check when they asked you to not tell anyone about it, knowing it‘s simply because of the fact you aren‘t part of society‘s beauty standards.

“Y/N, we-”, “I‘m not talking about you two”, you‘re quick to interrupt Hanamaki, giving him a soft smile, “I know you don‘t care about it and sometimes I find myself wishing I would have fallen for one of you instead of the professional trainer”, you let out an empty, coldhearted chuckle before you finish your glass of wine in one go.

“I would fuck you without hesitation”, Mattsun shrugs, his plump lips stretching into a playful smirk and the tiny hint of seriousness in his gaze has you rolling your eyes with a soft scoff.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Issei”, Makki hisses and gives his best friend the same reaction as you.

“What? I‘m being serious! You know this isn‘t the first time I‘m offering this to you, pretty one”, the brunette replies and this time you can‘t help but chuckle softly at his words, showing him your appreciation for his ability to make such heavy topics vanish from the surface so easily.

“Thank you, Issei but that guy I met on Tinder has been ghosting me for two weeks after we fucked and that‘s why I‘ve had enough dick for now”, and just when you let your gaze roam over the brunette‘s handsome face, you watch Hanamaki‘s face brighten up suddenly and furrow your brows in confusion.

“Hearing Y/N talk about dick is definitely not what I was expecting to come back to but it‘s surely a surprise!”

And upon hearing the familiar voice of your best friend, you understand the reason behind the change in Makki’s expression.

You watch the other two get up from their chairs, approaching the freshly majored trainer with the biggest smiles plastered on their faces whereas you try your best to stay as calm as possible.

However, the simple thought of Iwaizumi coming back had already stressed you out and having him stand behind you in all his glory made the tightness in your chest and the struggle to take proper breaths intensify just like that.

After what feels like an eternity you finally get yourself to stand up as well, turning around literally convinced you‘re ready to see him again after all these years only for it to be the exact opposite.

Your heart skips a whole beat at the sight of Iwaizumi and for a quick second you feel yourself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen in your lungs.

“Hey”, he mumbles, his voice deep and raspy, something you‘re used to since the two of you have been talking regularly on the phone over the time yet hearing it in person again sends a jolt of hot arousal right into your core.

You nervously let your eyes roam his face; taking in the sight of his features, which have become even sharper during his absence. A soft sigh falls past your lips when you find the little scar right underneath his eyebrow which he had gotten back in middle school during one of his volleyball practices. The familiarity and feeling of security in the soft expression of his pretty, dark green eyes calms you down in an instant and by the time you feel your muscles ease up a bit, he‘s already approaching you with open arms.

Different than you’ve expected from yourself, you‘re quick to wrap your arms around his slim waist, taking him into your embrace with the intention of never letting him go again and at the feeling of his big hands on your body, you can‘t help but tear up a little.

You sniffle softly against the crook of his neck, Iwaizumi letting out a breathy chuckle at your sweet reaction as he caresses your back gently, subconsciously massaging your soft flesh to calm you down even more.

“Seems like someone missed me a lot more than she wanted to admit on the phone, hm?”, Iwa mumbles softly, placing the sweetest kiss on the top of your head as he holds you tight.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki let out a row of deep chuckles, partly laughing at your obvious reaction and partly because of their best friend‘s blatant oblivion.

“Shut up”, you reply with a sniff, taking in the light yet intense smell of his aftershave as well as the scent of detergent you had missed oh so much.

“Enough now, Y/N”, Mattsun huffs, “you can cuddle his stupid ass some other time, let‘s catch up with Mister America”, he adds and you know too well the tall brunette simply does it to stop you from falling even further into this dark hole you‘ve dug yourself; all those years ago.

Throughout the whole night, you stay rather quiet; listening to Iwaizumi‘s stories, more so to his voice but definitely his stories, too.

And every time he mentions some random girl he hooked up with or one of his ex girlfriends, you can literally feel the way he‘s avoiding your gaze; his eyes moving away from your face to focus on the guys as his voice turns a little less enthusiastic. You try your best not to read anything into it, knowing he‘s always been more hesitant towards you when it came to topics like this and in some way you find yourself appreciating it because it definitely helps to make the pain in your chest a little less heavy.

The atmosphere between the four of you remains calm; the familiarity something you‘ve always missed despite you and the other two boys spending just as much time together as you used to back in High School. Having Iwaizumi in your little circle again definitely has changed the air and it‘s in times like these you realize just how close you all actually are.

However, when Hanamaki and Matsukawa both stand up, cigarettes firmly placed between their plump lips, telling the two of you to give them a few minutes, you feel yourself slowly wandering into a state of anxiousness and slight panic.

It‘s not like you haven‘t talked to him alone during his stay in America, but the thought of having to look him in the eyes as you speak has always been something you‘ve struggled with.

Iwaizumi has this certain expression in his beautiful, dark green eyes, which makes it so much harder to not fall for him even more.

You don‘t know if it‘s the confidence and lack of insecurity or the mixture of softness and home which have the butterflies in your stomach go absolutely crazy.

Neither of you say anything for a good minute, your eyes glued to your phone screen which continuously lights up; Oikawa‘s name appearing several times.

You excuse yourself to give the professional athlete the responses he‘s waiting for, rolling your eyes at his way of telling you to shoot your shot at Iwa and “get that D”.

“Are you still talking to that one guy you told me about?”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his eyes never once leaving yours and with a soft chuckle, you shake your head; enjoying the amount of protectiveness dripping from his words.

“We fucked and then he ghosted me”, you say casually, not realizing that it‘s not one of the other two boys you‘re talking to and with a soft gasp of embarrassment you try to mumble your way out of the situation.

“Iwa, I‘m-”, “Why the fuck would he even do that? Give me his fucking address so I can introduve his kneecaps to my baseball bat”, he‘s quick to interrupt you harshly, his tone filled with anger as his eyes gleam with wrath.

“It‘s okay”, you smile softly, placing your hand on his balled fists to calm him down again, “he told me not to tell anyone that we did it so his intentions have never been good. And on top of that – his dick game was so bad, I didn‘t even get to finish but had to take care of it myself, so it‘s definitely not worth the headache.”

You watch Iwaizumi‘s expression darken even further, his beautiful dark green eyes roaming your face with irritation oozing from his gaze and for a second you like to believe that there‘s even a hint of jealousy in between all those intense emotions but just as usual you find yourself shaking it off rather quickly.

“Why did he ask you not to tell anyone? What the fuck is even wrong with that guy?”, the brunette spits, downing the rest of his beer in one go.

You know why he‘s this angry and at this point you can’t even blame him anymore. Iwaizumi has never really understood why you put up with guys who treated you like absolute shit; continuously telling you how you deserved so much better and even though you wanted to agree, you simply couldn‘t. Because in your head, all those men who were ashamed of being with you yet still found their way to your door were exactly what was meant to be your life.

“Because being with a woman like me isn‘t anything he‘s proud of, Iwa”, you sigh, the words heavy and bitter on your tongue as you struggle to voice the hard reality.

“A woman like you?”, he replies and you see the genuine confusion on his handsome face, making his oblivion sweet almost.

“A big woman, Iwaizumi. Guys don‘t date big girls because we don‘t fit into society‘s beauty standards so being with us is something they‘re ashamed of because God forbid someone thinks they find us attractive“, you nervously play with the hem of your skirt, not having the courage to look into his face as those thing leave your lips, too embarrassed to meet his usually so welcoming and soft, but now wrath-filled gaze.

“That‘s bullshit”, Hajime is quick to spit back, hating the way you belittle yourself like that because of a random guy.

You smile, a soft scoff falling past your lips before you take a sip from the glass in front of you and even though you know you‘re going to regret those words, you still can‘t get yourself to stop from leaving you.

“Then why have you never dated a big girl, Haji?”, your voice is slightly shaky yet you remain the eye contact like a champion, never once averting your gaze from his handsome face even though the thrumming of your heart in your throat makes it so much more difficult to stay focused.

Iwaizumi seems taken aback; your words obviously hitting a place he wasn‘t expecting and that‘s when the feeling of guilt reaches its peak.

“I‘m not- It‘s not because I don‘t find them attractive I just- I uhm-”, the freshly majored professional trainer stumbles over his words like a two-year-old who just started learning how to speak and at the sight of a deep blush covering the apples of his cheeks as well as the tip of his nose and the whole of his neck, you let out a soft sigh.

“You don‘t have to explain yourself, Iwaizumi. I wasn‘t trying to accuse you of anything or offend you in any way, I promise. It’s just a topic I‘ve grown really tired of in the past few years”, you explain, making sure to choose your words carefully and when the tall male suddenly starts calming down again, you know you‘ve got him.

“Y/N, look-”, “Hey, Y/N the weak-dick-game guy is sitting at the bar with his ugly friends, just for your information”, Matsukawa‘s deep voice quickly cuts Iwaizumi off, his words sending shivers down your spine in the most disgusting way possible and with an almost painful roll of your eyes, you down the rest of your best friend‘s beer.

“Wait- What? Which one is it?”, Iwaizumi grunts, the calmness from a few seconds ago completely gone as you look at him with brows furrowed in slight irritation and annoyance.

“It doesn‘t matter, Iwa”, you say and wrap your fingers around his tattooed wrist, making him look into your eyes with another soft exhale, “he‘s not worth it. Just let it go.”

“Y/N, I said”, Iwaizumi is quick to place one of his big hands on your cheek, the dominance in his aura and the authority gleaming in his eyes has you gasping for air and just as usual you feel your panties growing wetter by the minute, “which one is it?”

His words don‘t leave room for protest; so strict and demanding, no matter how hard you try to think rationally, his naturally dominant persona has you submitting to him in a way no other guy has ever managed to.

“T-The one with the long, dark purple Hair”, you quickly reply, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s anger and determination.

“Good girl”, he mumbles and pulls away, not even aware of the way his praise has your cunt throbbing like crazy and you absolutely hate him for it.

For a second you can‘t even get back to reality, the haze of arousal and longing for the tall male standing in front of you completely taking over your consciousness.

However, as soon as your brain registers Makki‘s panicked voice, you‘re quick to snap back and without missing another beat, you grab Iwaizumi‘s arm and look at him with pleading eyes.

“Please don‘t make a scene”, you whisper, knowing oh too well how much he loves to get himself in trouble because of his friends.

“He fucked then ghosted you all that while saying he doesn‘t want anyone to know he was with you because you're a big girl? That ugly fucker needs a fucking reality check because he can count himself hella fucking lucky to ever get a go with a woman as amazing and hot as you”, Iwaizumi hisses, his words filled with anger yet so, so sweet that without giving it another thought, you simply let go and try not to show him just how flustered he‘s gotten you.

“Are you guys about to kiss right now?”, Matsukawa suddenly says and with an almost audible roll of your eyes you lift your hand up, showing him your middle finger before you watch Iwaizumi‘s brows furrow even further with visible irritation.

“Then don‘t fight him”, you sigh, “please, Hajime, don‘t get yourself in trouble for a guy who‘s not worth it.”

“We‘ll see about it”, is all he says before he moves out of your tight grip, leaving you to stand at the table like that.

You feel your heart picking up its pace at the sight of the love of your life approaching your ex-hook up; several worst case scenarios popping up in your head within a few short seconds. And unfortunately every single one ends with Hajime throwing his fist into the guy‘s face because of his raging anger issues; something he‘s been trying to handle throughout his whole life.

“Makki, please do something”, you whimper and look at the strawberryblonde with glossy eyes; shivers running down your spine at the sudden sound of Hajime's deep voice cutting through the music of the bar.

“Not into you my fucking ass”, Takahiro hisses and follows Iwaizumi with quick steps, whereas Matsukawa remains next to you, watching the scene unfold with the fattest, shit eating grin on his face.

And while you‘re worried about Iwaizumi‘s well-being, said male can‘t even seem to think straight. The only thing he manages to focus on is the raging anger and hot wrath rushing through his veins at the thought of some random, small dicked guy treating you like dirt. With every step he takes, it seems to get worse and at some point the professional trainer is worried about his physical health because of the pace his heart is hammering against his rib cage with.

Iwaizumi has always struggled to understand why you put up with males who are literally unworthy of your presence yet every time he had asked, you simply shrugged and told him that this was how you were meant to be loved. Behind closed doors, hidden away from the world by people who literally worship the society‘s beauty standard.

And all of that when you‘ve had him right in front of you for all those years, ready to love and worship every bit of your body and soul.

Of course for you to let him love you he might have had to tell you about his feelings but as the years passed by, Iwaizumi slowly started to lose every bit of hope he had left. During his four year long absence you‘ve had your fair share of boyfriends and after the third one, the only choice he had left was to force himself to move on or else he would have lost his mind.

It‘s not like he never wanted to confess during High School but there was just something holding him back. The thought of losing you was heavy on his chest especially because Iwaizumi was very well aware you didn‘t feel the same. So for his own sake he chose not to tell you about his feelings for you; not even bearing the mental image of going through such rough times without you by his side.

He‘s already lost count of the amount of times he wanted to scream at you about how he would treat you just how you truly deserved to be treated and not like those douchebags who liked to use you for their own pleasure just to throw you away like a used tissue once they were done.

And after not being able to physically do anything for you because of the distance, he‘s finally got the chance to show you that no, those guys‘ behavior is not okay and yes, putting them back into their place is absolutely worth the headache.

“Hey”, the trainer hisses, coming to stand directly in front of the tall, purple haired guy, Rin Matsuoka, who‘s quick to harden his expression upon seeing the brunette.

“What can I help you with, big guy?”, Rin mumbles, placing his bottle of beer on the counter with his brows raised in curiosity.

Iwaizumi doesn‘t even waste another minute as he harshly grabs the collar of Rin‘sblack leather jacket, pulling him closer to himself. His friends rather quickly, yet Hanamaki and this time even Matsukawa are faster, coming to stand right next to each one of them with their arms firmly placed in front of their bodies to stop them from intervening.

“You‘re gonna listen to me and you‘re gonna listen good, did you fucking hear me?”, and just like a few minutes ago, Hajime‘s voice is cold and distant, not leaving room for discussion all while making sure to keep his tight grip.

The confusion and immense irritation is clearly visible on Rin‘s features; brows furrowed, jaw tensed and eyes gleaming with some kind of unnameable anger.

And the longer you watch the situation unfold, the heavier the anxiety in your system becomes and as you struggle to take proper breaths, you find yourself approaching your best friends; not wanting him to get his hands dirty on a guy like Matsuoka.

“What the-”, “Iwa please, he‘s not worth it..”, you say and wrap your fingers around his wrist, trying to find his gaze with desperate eyes only for him to gulp harshly and calmly tell you to take a step back.

“You?”, Rin spits, his dark eyes boring into your side as you try to ignore him; the amount of humiliation and shame washing over your body way too overwhelming to handle.

“Haji, let‘s just go, please”, you whisper, taking his face into your hands, his skin literally burning underneath your fingertips.

“No, Y/N, this stupid bastard has to understand that you can‘t just go and treat women like absolute dirt and get away with it”, Iwaizumi moves out of your soft touch, making Rin shift his attention back on you before the deep voice of one of his friends cuts through the tension.

“What the fuck is he talking about, Rin? Do you know her?”, the blonde says, his tone rather degrading when talking about you and at the way his eyes roam your body with a rather opposed expression show you exactly why that‘s the case.

“N-No, I don‘t!”, he‘s quick to defend himself, his eyes shifting to his friends with sheer panic filling the dark color and you feel your heart sink and the disgusting feeling of shame rushing through your veins.

“You‘re such a fucking piece of shit, Rin”, you hiss and swallow your tears; the taste bitter as the realization of being sometjing to be ashamed of hits you yet again.

“You definitely weren‘t acting like this when you fucked me”, you add and roll your eyes, taking a step back as the anger overcomes you and you basically give Iwaizumi a silent free pass to do whatever the hell he needs to, “or better said – when you tried to. It wasn‘t like I came with your weak dick game anyway so..”

“You fucked that fat bitch? Oh, yikes”, the other friend suddenly says, his words hitting you in the face like literal bricks and before you can even take your next breath or shift your eyes to the face the voice belongs to, the guy suddenly falls to the floor, holding his bloody nose.

You let out a shocked gasp, your eyes falling to Hanamaki who‘s busy shaking his hand, his knuckles already reddened and slightly bruised as he looks at you with a satisfied grin, “no one gets to call my best friend a bitch.”

“I was full on drunk and- do you really think I‘d fuck her sober?”, Rin tries to talk himself out of it and with a cold chuckle you throw your head back.

“How the fuck dare you talk to her like that”, is the last thing Iwaizumi spits before he throws his fist right into Rin‘s face with a deep grunt.

Another loud shriek escapes your lips and suddenly the anger and anxiety seem to leave your body and a huge wave of adrenaline hits you at the sight of your ex-hook up falling to the floor and Iwaizumi quickly moving with him.

For what feels like a whole hour but is probably nothing longer than a minute, you‘re literally frozen; your eyes the only moving part of your body as you watch your best friends break their knuckles on the jaws of literal strangers to them.

The following hour passes by in a blur. You can‘t really remember how or who separated them from those guys, or how you got yourself to call an uber and manage to get the four of you to your flat.

By the time the adrenaline stops making the blood rush in your ear, you‘re taking care of Matsukawa‘s wounds with shaky hands; the two others holding ice packs to their faces to ease the swelling of their bruises.

“Stop sighing so much”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his dark eyes focusing the movements of your hands before he looks at you with a slightly softer expression, “we did what we had to do. And I‘m glad we did it. Those guys already looked so fucking punchable”, he explains and with a scolding scoff you press your lips to a thin line.

“You‘re back in Japan for how long? Two days? Yet already got yourself in trouble, a physical fight at that, Hajime. You‘re not your High School self anymore, start behaving that way, please”, you reply and hand Mattsun a plastic bag filled with ice cubes, softly caressing his bruised cheek before you stand up from your place on the floor.

“You got yourself one hell of a mouth while I was gone, huh?”, he replies cockily, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue before he follows you into the bathroom.

You feel your body heating up at his words, the sexual tension laying underneath the surface slowly finding its way to you again and with a soft sigh, you ignore the brunette.

“How was I supposed to let him say all those things to you and not do anything, Y/N?”, Iwaizumi replies, a pouty word of gratitude leaving his lips when you take his big hand into yours and start cleaning up the blood on his bruised knuckles.

You try your best to stop your thoughts from wandering to sinful places yet images of those pretty, tattooed fingers wrapped around your throat and knuckle deep buried inside of your cunt have already filled your mind by the time you lower your gaze from his face.

“I‘m used to-”, “That does not make it okay, Y/N”, your best friend suddenly says, taking your chin in between his fingers to lift your head and look at you with those beautiful, dark green eyes.

“You deserve so, so much better and I‘m glad I can finally tell you this in person after all those years. Please stop letting douches like him take advantage of you”, he sighs, taking your hands into his and pulling you a little bit closer to himself.

“It‘s that or Matsukawa‘s cock and I‘d rather have a stranger emotionally pain me than my best friend, so-”, “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”, Iwaizumi interrupts you harshly, your words obviously irritating him.

“After my last boyfriend dumped me a year ago I‘ve only had casual flings because I got tired of using my hand to get off and Matsukawa offered to take care of it instead. But then again, it‘s just a lot less complicated with a stranger than it is with your best friend, that‘s why I‘m putting up with shit like this”, you explain to him and walk back into the living room where Mattsun and Makki are currently busy with your leftover take out from the previous night.

“So if it wasn‘t for that, you‘d let him fuck you?”, Iwaizumi‘s tone has turned cold again, the softness gone and replaced by something a little thicker and more intense than anger. And when you turn around to look at him, you see literal jealousy gleaming in the green color surrounding his iris, basically leaving you speechless.

“Why do you even care, Iwa?”, you reply, dramatically throwing your hands into the air as his tensed demeanor sends you in some kind of haze of irritation.

“Answer my fucking question, Y/N”, is all you get in response; the brunette closing the distance between the two of you with a few small steps and it‘s the lack of space between your faces that has you realizing just how unevenly he‘s breathing.

Your heart starts slamming against your rib cage with rather brutal pace, your head spinning from the sudden adrenaline shooting through your body and on top of all of it you feel your cunt clenching around nothing like crazy as Iwaizumi’s heavy scent fills your nose.

“Yes”, you say and feel your voice breaking, “yes, I would fuck Matsukawa because why not? Hm, Iwaizumi? There‘s nothing else stopping me from it other than-”, “You can‘t and won‘t fuck him”, he suddenly interrupts your outburst, his expression as dark as ever as he softly pushes you against wall.

“I think this is the moment where we‘re supposed to leave”, Makki mumbles, pulling Mattsun from the couch before they gather their things and leave the two of you to yourself.

As the silence surrounds the two of you, the tension grows even thicker, heavier, more present than before and with every breath you take you feel yourself growing more and more aroused.

“And why is that, hm? I can and will fuck whoever I want”, you spit back, trying so hard ot not let the arousal get to your head yet the disgusting urge to submit to Iwaizumi‘s naturally dominant personality slowly starts overwhelming you.

Hajime chuckles deeply, his eyes lazily roaming your face, pressing his strong body even further against yours as your head starts spinning more and more with every second passing by.

“Iwa…”, you whimper softly, throwing your head back and harshly digging gripping the soft fabric of his shirt; the close contact makes you a lot more nervous than before.

He slowly takes a deep breath before he bends down to let his nose graze your jawline, and eventually letting his mouth find its way to your ear.

“Because no one can fuck you like I can, pretty one”, Iwaizumi whispers, his voice a whole octave deeper than just a few seconds before and you hate the way every single one of his words sends a single, hot jolt of arousal right into your core.

“And”, you hear him inhale sharply, his hands finding their way to your hips, groping the soft flesh firmly in his palms before he takes a short break and then pulls away to look at you again, “no one can love you like I can.”

At the sound of those words, your eyes snap open within a second your heart skips a literal beat.

“W-What?”, you whisper, your throat completely dried up, your head desperately trying to process what he’s just said and just as your body is about to fall into some kind of haze, you feel yourself drowning in a wave of anxiety at the thought of having misheard him.

“I love you, Y/N”, Iwaizumi says just when those thoughts are about to take over you.

“Ha-Hajime…”, you mumble; your bottom lip starts to quiver as tears pricker at the corners of your eyes, the first few finding their way down your cheek in an instant.

A few seconds of silence pass in which you two just look at each other, Iwaizumi’s pupils blown out, cheeks tinted in the deepest shade of red and plump lips parted as he also tries to understand what just happened.

After all these years of imagining what it might be like to hear these kind of words from the love of your life, it’s finally become reality and the longer you look at him, the lighter the weight on your chest becomes.

“I’m sorry if I ruined our friendship with this but I just – couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. When I was in America I had promised myself to confess as soon as possible when I’m back so here I am. Those men don’t deserve you. Neither do I but I would have hated myself forever if I didn’t at least try. So”, he finishes his sudden explanation with another deep exhale before he takes a step back, his glossy eyes wandering from yours down to the floor, “thank you for everything and please take care.”

And fortunately your body acts a lot faster than your mind because while you still try to process his soft, sweet words – the words you’ve been dying to hear for so, so long – you find yourself tightening your grip on his shirt and pulling him back into you with a soft sob.

“I love you, too”, you whisper against his lips, pressing your forehead against his as your eyes flutter shut at the overwhelming warmth coming from his body.

“Fuck, baby”, Iwaizumi chuckles breathlessly, wrapping his arms around your body and burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m one lucky bastard, aren’t I?”

You smile brightly at his genuine and soft words, the feeling of coming home – a place you’ve longed for literal years – slowly breaks down onto you in the form of waves and for the first time in a really long time, you don’t mind being overwhelmed like that.

“So that means that you’re mine now?”, Iwaizumi whispers, pulling away and taking your face into his big hands, the smell of blood grazing your nose yet easily gets overshadowed by the way he’s looking at you as if you were holding the whole world in your hands.

You nod and move further into his touch, enjoying the feeling of being so safe and secure in one’s hands after not even feeling comfortable with anyone in years.

“T-Thank you for loving me, Iwa”, you gulp harshly, looking at him with teary eyes at the memory of all those who had managed to break your heart in the past years.

“No, baby”, he sighs, pressing the softest kiss right onto your lips, “thank you for letting me love you. When I say you’re literally everything I’ve ever dreamed of, I’m not even exaggerating because that’s what you are to me. A dream come true”, those are the last words Hajime mumbles before he pulls you into a proper kiss; not giving you the opportunity to reply.

The kiss starts off slow and calm. As if both of you were still trying to understand that this was actually happening because despite the hesitant movements, neither of you can hide the intense hunger lingering underneath every soft peck.

Iwaizumi, just as usual, lacks the patience to keep it going like that, not even trying to take it easier for even longer as he pulls your chin down and calmly pushes his tongue into your mouth, easily eliciting a soft moan from you. Your fingers find home in his brown curls, pulling at the thick strands and finally making him grunt right against your tongue; the deep sound sending vibrations and sweet little jolts of excitement through your whole body.

You slowly feel his hands wander; first starting off caressing your back, groping the soft flesh of your waist as well as the fingers of his right hand softly digging into your skin and for a second. You allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper into the perfect feeling of his touch until suddenly a mental image of his most recent ex-girlfriend pops up in your head and you stop functioning completely.

Iwaizumi lets his lips wander down your chin, placing a row of open mouthed kisses on your jaw before he moves to your neck and pulls the sensitive skin into his mouth without wasting another minute. The feeling of his hot tongue on your skin has your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you desperately try to distract yourself from your anxiety‘s attempt to ruin this for you.

You let out a soft whimper when Hajime wraps one of his big hands around one of your tits, harshly groping the flesh while rubbing his hard, clothed cock against your thick thigh.

His deep grunts and needy touches have you ruining your panties in no time to the point where the lacey fabric is literally sticking to your hot flesh in a rather uncomfortable way.

“Need you, baby”, Iwaizumi grunts, the movements of his hips rather sloppy and rushed yet so, so genuine and sweet, you can‘t help but smile softly.

“You got me, Haji”, you reply and take his handsome face into your hands, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs, “I‘m all yours.”

“Fuck, baby”, he moans and suddenly pulls away, his hands finding their way to the hem of your dress before he meets your eyes and wordlessly asks for your consent.

You give him a quick nod, pushing the voice of your anxiety all the way to the back of your head as Hajime slowly pushes the fabric up your thighs, revealing more and more skin before his eyes roll into the back of his eyes at the sight of your black lace panties.

He doesn‘t waste much time; quickly pulling the rest of it over your head and then taking a whole step back to let his greedy eyes roam your body with lust and nothing but adoration.

And when you realize your current, exposed state you take a deep breath to hold those insecurities back, however they‘re a lot faster than you are.

You nervously try to cover your naked body with your arms. Just the thought of him finding you and your body disgusting breaks your heart into pieces and with shivers of shame rushing down your spine, you lower your gaze.

“L-Look, I know it‘s not what you‘re used to and I- you don‘t have to touch me. I can just suck your cock or give you a handjob if you feel more comfortable that way”, you say, your voice a mere whisper and eventually breaking at the end when you give in to the tears.

“Baby…”, Iwaizumi sighs, pain evident in the tone of his voice. He calmly takes your wrists into his big hands before he pulls your arms away from your body, softly asking you to look at him and after what feels like an eternity, you manage to lift your head only to be met with nothing but warm, dark green eyes.

“You‘re fucking perfect”, he whispers and places a tiny little kiss on your lips, leaving you longing for more as he pulls away right afterwards, “there‘s literally nothing I would change about you.”

At the sound of those sweet words, you simply cannot hold back your tears any longer. You look at Iwaizumi with a quivering bottom lip as you let out a row of soft sobs; digging your nails into the skin of his wrists because you simply don‘t know what else to do.

For the first time in your life, your brain isn‘t protesting against a compliment and you know if it wasn‘t for him, there would be no way you‘d believe it.

“B-But your ex-girlfriends are the exact opposite and-”, “They don‘t matter, baby. You‘re you and it‘s all I could have asked for. I‘m in love with every part of your body and that has never been any different”, Iwaizumi interrupts you with his calm voice, placing his hands on your waist before one of them finds its way to your barely clothed ass.

“But-”, “No more buts”, the brunette says, a lot sterner and more determined, groping the flesh of your ass and then landing a firm spank on the soft flesh which has you whimpering into the crook of his neck.

Iwaizumi chuckles and pulls you into another deep kiss, sucking at your tongue, nibbling on your bottom lip all while his hands make sure to graze every bit of naked skin they can find. He pushes his leg in between your thighs, pressing it right against your cunt and without even wasting another second you find yourself grinding against the strong muscle. The fabric of his jeans rubs your throbbing clit in the best way possible, eliciting a row of needy whimpers from you.

You feel yourself soaking through the fabric of our lace panties and you know you‘re currently leaving a huge stain on Iwaizumi‘s pants but the pleasure clouding your mind makes it so easy to just ignore it.

“What a needy girl you are, baby”, Hajime mumbles, caressing the slightly dampened skin of cheeks with his thumb before he moves to graze your bottom lip and eventually pushes the digit into your open mouth.

Your lids fly open at the taste of his skin on your tongue, twirling the muscle around his thumb and then sucking on it softly, followed by some muffled moans of his name.

Iwaizumi watches you attentively for what feels like an eternity. His beautiful eyes wandering from the way you‘re rubbing your clunt against his clothed thigh to your perky nipples and then up to the way your lips look wrapped around his thumb like that and from the way his expression keeps growing darker and even hungrier, you know he‘s more than just enjoying your despair.

“I want to spit in your mouth”, he says, using the dominant tone you‘re oh so used to at this point and there‘s no way you‘d ever say no to him.

Something about being claimed in such a lewd way by the man you‘ve been dreaming of for years has you grinding your pussy into his thigh even harder; making sure to hit your clit with every rushed drag of your hips.

“Yes, p-please, Daddy”, you beg, not even overthinking any of your words as you part your lips and look at him with big, needy eyes.

When you notice the rather shocked and slightly overwhelmed expression on Iwaizumi‘s face, you gulp harshly, tilting your head to the side with your lips pushed into a concerned pout.

“What‘s wrong, Iwa?”, you whisper, way too scared of his response.

“You called me Daddy”, he replies and licks his plump lips, whereas you freeze completely at his comment.

“D-Did I? I‘m so sorry, Iwa”, the apology falls past your lips almost instantly at the realization because you know that not every guy is comfortable with such dynamic and even if Hajime definitely has a natural dominance to his personality, you should have waited a little longer before bringing this particular kink up.

“None of my boyfriends liked it and I don‘t like using it with completely strangers so I g-guess I just feel really safe with you and it slipped and I- oh, God, I‘m so sorry.”

You pull away from Iwaizumi with shaky hands, tears threatening to spill for the nth time within such a short period and you try your best to look everywhere but his eyes.

However, Iwaizumis seems to have other plans.

He takes your chin into his hand and pulls your face closer, nudges your nose with his own and then sucks your bottom lip into his mouth; making you whimper rather loudly.

“Say it again, baby”, he whispers, “tell Daddy how badly you want his spit.”

As his words echo inside of your brain, you let out a loud, high pitched whine, harshly trying to press your thigh further together ss the throbbing of your cunt becomes unbearable.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply, pushing his hand down to your neck and smiling softly when he wraps his pretty fingers around your throat, feeding right into every single fantasy you‘ve been imagining for so long, “spit in my mouth and on my cunt, I don‘t care. I just need it.”

“Good girl”, Iwa growls softly, “open up then, pretty one.”

You part your lips almost automatically at the sound of his demand, sticking your tongue out slightly and looking up at him with anticipation and such eagerness, if it wasn‘t for him, you would have never been as comfortable as this.

Iwaizumi smirks at you, keeping his grip on your throat firm but not too tight as he gathers his own saliva and spits into your mouth with a loud, lewd sound that sends shivers of pleasure straight down your spine and right into your core.

You can‘t stop your lips from stretching into a big smile when his taste coats the muscle of your tongue, swallowing it all in one go before you open your mouth yet again to show him it‘s all gone.

“Good fucking girl”, Iwaizumi praises you softly, caressing your cheek before he lets fo of your throat, “I got myself a perfect little doll, hm?”

“Thank you, Daddy”, you reply quickly, the intense urge to obey to his every word and submit to his every move absolutely overwhelming at this point, but you would never want it any other way.

“Look at you, using your manners for me. You‘re welcome, princess. What about a little reward for being so good for me, baby? Wanna sit on my face so I can eat that pretty pussy of yours?”, Iwaizumi takes you hand into his, intertwining his fingers with yours before he guides you to the couch, letting himself fall into the soft cushion whereas you try your best not to panic at his words.

Of course the thought of having his mouth on your cunt is more than just tempting but you've never sat on a guy‘s face before; the fear of literally suffocating him with your weight making it impossible for you to even think about it.

“C-Can‘t you just eat me out like this, Daddy?”, you whisper, looking down to meet Iwa‘s hungry gaze and stopping him from pulling your panties any further down your thighs.

“I‘m too heavy”, the explanation follows right away, not wanting him to think it has anything to do with him or his wishes, “I don‘t want to hurt you.”

“Baby, I want you to sit on my face so I can eat your pretty pussy. That‘s it”, Iwaizumi says, his right hand finding the clasp of your bra and quickly getting rid of it before he takes both of your tits into his big hands; toying with your nipples and attentively watching the way your gasps grow louder with every pull on the perky buds, “you don‘t have to if you don‘t want to but don‘t you dare worry about me because this has been a dream of mine for literal years. Oh, how badly I want to be squished by those pretty, thick thighs of yours – you have no idea.”

“I want to! It’s just that I’ve never done this before. A-Are you sure? Please don‘t think you have to want this to make me feel better, I‘m okay with whatever you‘re comfortable with”, you whisper, not trusting your voice when you suddenly feel Iwaizumi‘s fingers tracing patterns on the inside of your thighs.

“Enough of this, pretty one”, his words are accompanied by a firm spank on your naked ass cheek; the pain of the sting leaving your pussy a spasming mess and with a soft moan you tighten your grip in his hair, “now sit on my face or I won’t fuck you.”

“N-No! Daddy, I‘m sorry, I promise I‘ll be good”, you whine quickly letting go of him so he can lay on his back only for Iwaizumi to get rid of his black shirt; revealing his strong, well trained body and all those dark lines adorning his tanned skin to your hungry eyes.

It takes you a few good seconds to gain enough confidence to actually spread your legs over his face, your whole body shaking with nervousness. But once Iwaizumi wraps his strong arms around your thighs and pulls your body even further down to his face, you slowly start easing up.

The feeling of his hot breath fanning against the wet flesh of your cunt sends goosebumps down your back. And the sight of his pretty face between your thick thighs, something you‘ve always been so insecure about, seems to slowly take a place as one of your favorite images to ever exist.

“Look me in the eyes, baby”, Iwaizumi mumbles and sucks at the skin of your inner thigh, his tongue on your skin making more and more juices gush out of your already drenched cunt as you allow yourself to meet his hungry gaze.

And just when your eyes meet, Iwaizumi sticks his tongue out and licks a long stripe over the hor flesh of your pussy before he gently pulls your little clit into his mouth and starts sucking on it.

You let out a loud groan; the sudden stimulation on your needy clit sending literal shock waves of pleasure through your body and without even realizing you slowly grind yourself further against his mouth.

Iwaizumi moans into your flesh, the deep bass of his voice sending vibrations right into your core, making your cunt clench even harder around nothing and if it wasn‘t for the intensity of his stare, you would have looked away already. Yet just as usual, there‘s something about the way he looks at you which has you feeling at literal ease – even in such a situation.

“Come on, baby”, Iwaizumi suddenly grunts, letting go of the sensitive bud with a loud sound before placing an open mouthed kiss on your clit and landing a harsh spank on your ash which has your body jolting in antica, “don’t be shy now. Ride my face like the good girl you are, make me proud…”, he adds softly, his words encouraging you easily and with a sound of affirmation, you start grinding your hips to meet the hot muscle of his tongue.

The following minutes are filled with loud slurping noises, high pitched moans and deep grunts as well as more words of affirmation and encouragement all while Iwaizumi continues to switch between thrusting his tongue into your tight hole and sucking on your clit before he eventually starts fingerfucking you with two of his thick digits.

You can't help but throw your head back at the immense amount of pleasure; your body and mind slowly reaching a point of complete haze as you lose yourself in the feeling of his touch.

And by the time you finally feel the taste of your high coating the tip of your tongue, your grip on Iwaizumi‘s hair tightens and a row of loud, choked out begs fall past your bit swollen lips.

“Look at your greedy little pussy clenching around my fingers like that”, Iwa chuckles deeply, picking up the pace of his thrusts as he keeps his mouth way too close to your throbbing little clit, “and those pretty begs. Gosh, baby, you‘re going to drive me insane.”

“S-So close, Daddy”, you choke out, your eyes flying open when you feel a third finger joining the two inside of your tight cunt, the pain of the stretch in combination with the pleasure of your upcoming high making your head spin.

“There we go, that‘s my baby”, he takes a deep breath and starts kneading the soft flesh of your ass in his palms, “want you to cum all over my fucking face. Show me what a good fucking girl you are.”

And those are the last words your brain manages to register before you feel the first wave of your orgasm hit you. Your sight turns pitch black and then white for a good second, your whole body tensing up at the feeling of coil in your core finally snapping.

Your thighs are shaking, your breath continuously hitching as you desperately try to regain your composure and if it wasn‘t for Iwaizumi‘s touch on your sensitive pussy, you‘d stay in the beautiful haze of your orgasm.

“You came so hard for me, baby”, Iwaizumi grins and pushes his fingers into his mouth before you finally find enough energy to get off of his face.

“W-Want more”, you whisper, your voice raspy and breathy as you tell him your request; low-key scared of being too greedy yet at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s eyes sparkling with excitement, you know he‘s not one to deny you anything. He‘s never been, after all.

“How about we move this to your bedroom, baby? I‘ve been dying to press your face into the mattress and ruin that little pussy of yours.” You feel a jolt of excitement blooming inside your chest at his words, nodding eagerly before you reach for his hand and guide him down the hall to your bedroom.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”, you say when the two of you come to stand in your room, your eyes focusing on the huge bulge in his pants, which manages to scare you slightly with its impressive size.

You always knew your best friend wasn‘t on the smaller side when it came to size yet you still can‘t hide just how surprised you are by its actual size. And suddenly the three fingers make a lot more sense to you.

“Let‘s save that for another time, pretty one. I‘ve been dreaming about pumping your cute little hole full of my cum for way too long. I can‘t wait any longer”, Iwaizumi replies and finally starts unbuckling his belt.

You take the few seconds he‘s busy to let your eyes admire the beauty of his perfectly sculpted body. You follow the dark lines of his chest tattoo, take in the sight of his stone hard abs and veiny arms as you press your thighs even more together to ease some of the pressure on your cunt.

“Are you done eyefucking me, pretty one?”, Iwaizumi suddenly chuckles, casually pushing his jeans as well as his boxer briefs down his meaty thighs and exposing his hard cock for your hungry eyes to devour.

He wraps his pretty fingers around his throbbing length, the tip an angry shade of red as precum continues to leak out; making your mouth water at the mere thought of having him in your mouth.

“Everything about you is so pretty”, you sigh and look into his eyes, the genuine appreciation in the green surrounding his iris making your heart grow warmer before he comes to stand in front of you in all of his glory.

“I love you so much”, Iwaizumi replies calmly, taking your face into his big hands before he places the softest kiss on your forehead.

“I love you, too”, you mumble and get up, pressing your lips against his and sighing into his mouth when he pushes his tongue past your lips without missing a beat.

Just when Iwaizumi starts letting his hands wander over your naked body, he halts his movements and pulls away slightly, “my pretty little baby, make sure to face the mirror so you can watch while I fuck your brains out. I want you to see just how perfect you are.”

“Yes, Daddy”, you whisper, your lips stretched into a big, big smile as you move out of his strong grip to position yours on your knees just as you were told.

Your heart suddenly starts racing again when you bury your face in your arms, making sure to push your ass as high as possible to give Iwaizumi easy access to your glistening cut. The excitement in combination with the pleasure and deep, deep longing finally manage to take over your brain; shoving the anxiety alongside all those insecurities to the very back of your head and making it easy for you to put your whole focus on the tll male behind you.

Iwaizumi’s rough hands caress your bare ass softly, kneading the flesh and lightly spanking it a few times before he lets a thick drop of his spit fall right onto your clenching pussy; sending goosebumps down your back at the feeling of it sliding down your flesh and mixing with your leaking juices.

You feel the tip of his thick cock nudging your entrance, the memory of his size making you tense up subconsciously and just when you’re about to hold your breath, Iwaizumi’s deep, calming voice echoes through the silence of your room.

“Take a deep breath, baby”, he whispers, knowing you’re going to follow his orders just like the good girl you love to be, “Daddy’s got you, okay? I’m gonna go easy, I promise.”

You lift your head to meet his comforting gaze through the mirror in front of you and without another beat passing, you feel yourself calming down again; the feeling of being absolutely safe and secure in his hand making it the easiest task.

And when Iwaizumi feels the tension in your body easing up, he lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes his thick tip into your tight hole. You whimper at the delicious stretch, the pain easily overshadowed by the sound of Iwaizumi’s heavy breathing and little moans.

“I’m gonna go all in, baby or else it’s going to hurt a lot more”, you appreciate his warning because as he’s saying it, Iwaizumi thrusts the whole of his impressive length into your spasming cunt; pushing every bit of air out of your lungs and pushing you way too close to your second high of the night. You can’t help but whimper loudly, tears already streaming down your cheeks because of the beautiful feeling of pain and pleasure mixing inside of your veins from the intensity of the stretch.

Iwaizumi, as always the gentleman, gives you all the time you need to adjust to his size; only growing slightly impatient as you still whine softly after two whole minutes yet you’re quick to lift your head again with quivering bottom lip and teary eyes, begging him to just fuck you.

“Please, Daddy”, you sob, moving away from him in a desperate attempt for some kind of friction; your cunt spasming around his thick cock like crazy and you know you’re only a few thrust and some clit stimulation away from your next high, “please, fuck me.”

“My greedy little whore”, Iwaizumi grunts, pulling his cock out of you astonishingly slow with the sole purpose of teasing you, “you’re going to take what Daddy gives you, did you hear me?”

You moan as the feeling of his tip dragging alongside your spongy walls, your eyes rolling into the back of your head only to find your way back to reality with a couple of harsh spanks on your already sore ass.

“Good sluts answer when being talked to, pretty one”, he warns, thrusting his cock back into you with one quick snap of his hips; burying himself balls deep inside of your overly sensitive cunt.

“Yes, Daddy, yes”, you cry and look up at him with glossy eyes, “just please, fuck my stupid little cunt, please.” Iwaizumi lets out a row of deep chuckles followed by raspy groans in response to your perfect answer before he nods at you and mumbles a few soft praises right into your ear and then straightens himself again.

“Alright then, pretty one.”

Loud grunts fill your ears so beautifully, echoing through the thick air of your bedroom and in combination with the sound of skin meeting skin in a constant rhythm, you feel the exact way your body is slowly falling into the beautiful bliss of another high.

Iwaizumi fucks you fast, harsh and rough. There’s nothing soft and romantic about the way his hips are meeting yours in a steady rhythm; making sure to hit that sweet spot deep inside of your pussy with every single one of his thrusts as he continues to use his whole strength on your burning ass.

But not once do you even think about telling him to go easier on you; this iwaizumi the one you’ve been imagining for all those years.

It doesn’t take long for him to wrap his strong arm around your chest to pull you up, his fingers also finding their way back home around your delicate throat.

“Look at you, baby”, he groans right into your ear, making you open your eyes and meet your own reflection in the mirror, “you’re so fucking beautiful, I can’t comprehend it.”

You stare at yourself with your lips parted in awe, eyes falling to the sight of Iwaizumi’s thick cock stretching your tiny cunt before you go back to trying to recognize yourself.

Because for the first time in literal years, you don’t hate what you see and even if it’s because of IWaizumi’s strong body right behind you, you still feel this certain type of warmth blossoming in your chest.

"Feels so good, baby", he groans, throwing his head back as the movements of his hips start to become slightly sloppier, a little more uncontrolled, "so tight and warm, so fucking perfect", Hajime’s voice breaks at the end of his soft praise because of your walls clenching around his cock even more the closer you get to the edge.

You start feeling dizzy, your sight turning into a blurr and at some point you can’t even in- or exhale without letting out a shaky moan.

Iwaizumi looks at you with wide, hungry eyes, the feeling of your walls gripping his cock like a goddamn vice sending him into an ecstatic state and the longer he watches you getting lost in the pleasure, the more he struggles to keep his rhythm.

You’re mumbling incoherent sentences, desperately trying to tell the brunette about how close you are whereas the pleasure makes it absolutely impossible for you to form a proper sentence.

“Are you going to cum for me again, baby?”, Iwaizumi grunts, tightening his grip on your throat, making you gasp for air as you nod in response to his question.

“My perfect little slut”, he sighs, his hand reaching down to rub your hard, throbbing clit with two of his rough digits, “fucking do it. Cum for your Daddy like the good whore you are.”

And just like a few minutes prior, those words are the last straw and eventually make you stumble over the edge head first. Your walls start spasming around Iwa’s cock like crazy, your loud moans and soft cries are the only thing he can focus on and without missing another minute, Iwaizumi also lets himself get consumed by the beautiful feeling of relief.

Iwa hips still, his cock buried deeply inside of your tight sex as he coats your walls with his creamy cum. Your new boyfriend gets lost in the feeling of finally getting to cum inside of you after waiting for so many years; feeding the fantasy of getting to claim you in the most intimate way possible. He buries his face in the sweaty crook of your neck, his rapid breath fanning your skin as the two of you try to calm down from your intense highs. Your hand finds its way into his dark hair, massaging his scalp with your eyes closed and your legs still shaking from the aftermath of your breathtaking orgasm. Without pulling out of you, despite his own release leaking out of you and down the sides of his cock, Iwaizumi makes you lay down with him; just tightly holding you in his arms.

A few minutes filled with nothing but soft breathing pass by before you finally find the strength to move again; the sudden need to look at Iwaizumi’s completely fucked out face overwhelming you in the best way possible. And when you turn around to look at him, you’re met with a breathtaking sight.

Messy strands of sweaty hair falling into his flushed face, swollen lips and glossy eyes sparkling at you in a way you’ve never seen before and in that moment you feel yourself falling in love with Iwaizumi all over again.

“I’m so in love with you”, you whisper and caress the soft skin of his cheeks, loving the way he moves even further into your touch.

“Always and forever only yours, pretty one”, Iwaizumi sighs and presses his forehead against yours.

࿏ A/N: And here it finally is! My first x chubby reader fic!! As a chubby someone who’s been reading fanficion for a long time, I’ve always craved some kind of representation and now I finally got to join this side of the community and I’m more than just happy about the way it turned out. I genuinely hope you guys will enjoy this and find comfort the same way I did while writing this. Please feel free to leave any sort of feedback if you enjoyed it and thank you so much for everything.

#haikyuu smut #Iwaizumi x female reader #Iwaizumi x chubby reader #haikyuu x reader #Iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu!! smut #hq!! smut #hq!! x reader #hq!! x female reader #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #kyovtani #💌.chubby reader #💌.for iwa lovers

7K notes · View notes

blxetsi · 3 years

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Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!

NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏

hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)

zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias

warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up

also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !

btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it

- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally

- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them

- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking

- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job

- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position

- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt

- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive

- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments

- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them

- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping

- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times

- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day

- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit

- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data

- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚

- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard

- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."

- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.

- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him

- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"

- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you

- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis

- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.

- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.

- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost

- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind

- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours

- and thats where you met mike

- well, got to know him

- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck

- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting

- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did

- back to being in hanges office

- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too

- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started

- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you

- after that you started to notice him more often

- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned

- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members

- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together

- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office

- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.

- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare

- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.

- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT

- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince

- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you

- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it

- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him

- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents

- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring

- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner

- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed

- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !

mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.

"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.

hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.

"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.

"can i kiss you ?" they asked.

and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?

"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.

"why not y/n ?"

"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.

they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.

"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.

you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.

hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.

finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.

you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.

he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"

honestly, how could you say no ?

thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe

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jpegjade · 4 years

Text

Hot girl summer - Spencer

Request:

yay requests :)) I would love something where the reader is insecure about her body, but spencer comforts her and reassures her that her beauty goes way beyond her body. no worries if you can’t get to it! thanks 🥰

Warnings: a couple swear words and a little suggestive thing at the end. Also it’s about the reader’s low self-esteem and general unease with her body so if you have a problem with reading it at any point, do not feel inclined to continue. Seriously mental health first.

I MAY HAVE GONE A LITTLE OVERBOARD. I struggle with this so this one hit home (thank you anon for this one, like genuinely). IM SO SORRY IF YOU WANTED SOMETHING LIGHTER.

_____________

It was hot, sweltering even. Your fan did almost nothing to cool the apartment off and there was no other way to cool off. The hotter it got the more layers Spencer took off. Right now, he was down to being shirtless and wearing a pair of khakis lounging on the couch with his hands behind his head. He was a marvel to stare at like that. You were thankful for the hot day but damn were you hot.

“You’re still wearing that hoodie? We’re at the beginning of Summer. Statistically, hyperthermia is bound to set in if you don’t shed a layer or two and stay hydrated. You haven’t been drinking enough fluids lately. I can tell because you aren’t sweating. Shedding a layer or two would help your body cool down. And I wouldn’t mind, also…” He said, sheepishly. He had the cutest grin on his face. He was so proud of himself for being smooth.

The relationship had been steady the past couple months. It was nice to have someone who cared so greatly about you. It was also nice to know that he paid attention to you in such detail. You smiled at him as he sat up on the couch. You looked him up and down, wondering how long it had been since-

“Y/N? Are you okay? I’m really concerned.” His brow furrowed a little as he scanned your face for any sign of recognition. You being unresponsive was concerning him.

“Yeah… I just don’t really feel like taking the hoodie off, I guess.” You said, not able to meet his eyes.

“Please, I’m begging you. I really don’t want you suffering from heat stroke. It can be extremely difficult to cool your body down and while I have the knowledge, I don’t have the right equipment to correctly care for you. If it’s a life or death situa-”

“I don’t feel comfortable in my body and I hate when you see me without anything on.” You blurted out. Suddenly, everything started to come out. “I’ve gained weight since the quarantine, I’ve gotten bigger. My clothes don’t fit like they used to and you haven’t changed. You’re fit without even trying and you don’t have to worry about this stuff because you’re you. You’re skinny. You fit your clothes. You haven’t gone through what I’ve been dealing with for weeks and I’ve worked so hard to hide it from you but I’m tired… I’m tired of looking at myself in the mirror and hating every inch of what I see in the reflection. And I hate that you see me like this. Okay? Can we drop it now?”

You didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. You didn’t want to attack him or make him feel like you meant to hurt him. You watched as he tried to say something, his mouth opening and closing. He licked his lips and didn’t say anything. That’s when you started to feel it rising up, the anger. The frustration. The hatred. All at yourself. You couldn’t believe that you said that to your boyfriend, the only guy who had ever loved you as you were. So many people had come and gone in your life, people that taught you how to truly hate yourself and it stuck. The words, the feeling, everything stuck. And now, it was coming back to bite you after you worked so hard to keep it hidden from him, especially during these past few months.

“I’m sorry if I’ve said something to make you feel like you… I didn’t mean to pry or make you feel uncomfortable. I thought it was-” He started, looking down at his hands.

“Spencer, it’s not you. It’s me. I’ve always been like this. It’s not your fault. You’ve been nothing but good to me. I promise. It’s always been me and especially now, I don’t… I’m sorry. I just don’t like when you look at me the way you do...” You stared at your feet, covered in mismatched socks. You couldn’t find the matches and all you wanted was to cover up today.

There was a silence, uncomfortable and suffocating. Everything was wrong. It was your fault that this happened… All you had to do was-

“Come on.” Spencer left the couch, grabbing your hand and leading you to the bathroom. All you could think was how he was going to break up with you now that he knew you weren’t as confident as you made yourself seem most recently.

“Okay. Stand right here, in front of me.” He put his arms around your waist from behind and bent over a little to sit his head in the crook of your neck and your shoulder.

“Spencer, if you’re going to break up with me, just do it. Don’t mess around and…” You felt the tears building up at the thought of living without him.

“Shhh. Okay, tell me what you see. Be honest and don’t hold back.” He said looking in the mirror.

“I see a really cute man with stubble and soft hands and glasses that frame his face very well.” You said, trying to hold back the tears. You hated the view of your body in the mirror, even if you were still in your heavy hoodie.

“Thank you but what do you see about the girl in front of me?” His face remained straight, unreadable.

One tear fell. Then another. Then another.

“I see someone who doesn’t deserve the person behind the person behind her. I see someone who is overweight, out of shape, someone who isn’t good enough because she doesn’t…” Your voice caught in your throat. You breathed a deep sign. “I see someone I hate. I hate her more than anyone in the world.”

“Okay, my turn.” He said, still unreadable. “I see a brilliant, kind, loving, soft, unique woman in front of me. I see someone who would rather be late because she stopped in the road to help baby ducks cross the street than be on time. I see strength and power in her shaking hands. I see someone who lives their life at a pace they can handle, never letting anyone dictate who they are. I see a woman who would do anything for her loved ones. I see someone who deserves all the good in the world because that’s what she gives out. I see light and love and peace and joy all wrapped up in the body of someone who is soft, gentle, and beautiful. I’ve noticed changes but I see the changes on the inside. So what if you’ve gained some more squish? I love it like I love the rest of you. So what if I’m built like a stick? I can’t fill a dress with curves like you. You don’t deserve me. You deserve better. And I want to be better for you, in any way that I can. You deserve the best because you give the best type of love there is: Pure, innocent, and bright.”

You looked back up at your reflection, suddenly feeling warm inside. He thought all those things about you… He thought such nice things about you… Why couldn’t you think of those things?

“I don’t see it.” You said, your voice small.

“It’s okay. You won’t now but being better for you means that I remind you. And you’ll slowly see it.” He said, kissing your cheek. “But for now, I would like to cool off with a cold bath.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll go read my book.” You said, pulling away from him. Or at least you attempted to. Spencer pulled you back to where you previously were standing.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” His voice was low and soft but there was something else mixed in. “You’re going to get in with me and I’m going to wash your hair and massage your shoulders and help you cool off because it’s really hot but so are you. I don’t care what you say, you could literally be a cardboard box and I would still want you the way I do now. And I mean now.”

“Spence…” You said, feeling your face grow hot. He rarely got authoritative but when he did, your world was rocked.

“That wasn’t a question.”

_____________

I WRITE SUCH LONGASS ONESHOTS. DEAR LORD I NEED TO GET TO THE POINT FASTER. unless you guys like the longer ones. i get carried away

Tags:

@ancailinaerach

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fluff

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ofherlionheart · 3 years

Note

10,12,18,22 for ask game!!( An I going overboard?? If yes any you want to answer only one please do 18)

not overboard at all! i find answering these to be fun. i’ve already done 12 and 18 but i’ll do a round two of 18 anyway lol

10. do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

i find dialogue the most fun because i love the challenge of getting characters to say things without actually saying it, or taking roundabout routes to get to a truth. it also tends to be what comes to me first—i’ll know the map of a conversation, and then i need to block out the scene that happens around it, and then that blocking sometimes makes me think of a different direction in which to take the dialogue.

i also think you can get a lot of character-building mileage out of dialogue, particularly since i prefer writing in a close third-person perspective. e.g. in like the sun inside of you, what mai and sokka do or don’t say is just as important—if not more—to their character development as what zuko thinks of them/how he understands them.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the DVD commentary for that scene

im gonna give you two, actually, from to be only, to be every:

He feels like walls and scaffolding and infrastructure are crumbling to dust inside of him, and it feels disastrously wonderful to let go of this fight against gravity.

this is a line i loved from the moment i wrote it! sokka’s love language of being unexpectedly psychologically eviscerated is also one of my love languages, and i’ve long struggled to convey to friends why i’m like this. writing this scene really forced me to find those words, though, and i think it helped me understand that it’s about someone else seeing how messy and messed-up you are, without you even really realizing it, but them still loving you anyway. i (like sokka) think i build up very effective walls and shield what i believe to be uglier aspects of myself from the world, but when i’m given a reminder that there are people in my life who have quietly strolled through the labyrinth of self-defenses and chose anyway, without even telling me, to love and care for and support me … oof, dude. cue the tears

and, secondly:

If you let me nestle between your ribs, put down roots and grow like the shooting grasses of fields that do not know the darker acts of metal and men, your body will be my earth and I will make you rich.

this is a line that grew on me—i didn’t think much of it when i first wrote it. it was born out of a frustration with what tattoo z would get for s in a modern au—trying to work in sokka’s main canon symbols, like the boomerang or space sword, didn’t feel right (that’s also why i conveniently said sokka doesn’t know why zuko got sai for mai, lol). for a second i considered a physics-related tattoo, but i couldn’t think of anything that rly resonated, and besides, physics is a surface-level thing about s. z knows him more intimately than that.

so then i thought, what if it were words, rather than an image? and what if it was something that sokka wrote himself? that’s more personal/intimate. so the next challenge was, what is something that s would have written that stuck with z so strongly, he would get a tattoo about it? something that spoke to who s fundamentally is, probably.

i’d already planned out z’s other tattoos, and i thought the ribs would be a good spot for s’s tattoo, so i began the quote with that: if you let me nestle between your ribs. at this point, i’d already written the scene between s and yue at the restaurant, so i knew this tattoo had to emotionally destroy sokka. what would destroy sokka? if someone took a truth he knew about himself, but reframed it in a way that illustrated him even more clearly/kindly.

one of s’s truths, imo, is that he’s constantly giving and giving and giving himself, because he isn’t comfortable being let into other’s lives without the sense that he’s giving something in return. he’d the eldest sibling, he’s BIPOC, he grew up (in the boo chronicles ‘verse) in a home strongly steeped in community-first/collectivist culture but in a country that’s deeply exchange-oriented and individualistic. he’s surrounded by hyper-accomplished, amazing ppl, and he’s ‘just the jokes guy’ (this is a lie that only he believes). so he’s gotta do something if he wants ppl to want him to stick around, right? enter zuko: you are valued and loved not for what you can do for others, but for who you are. i want to see you blossom not for what you can do for me, but for what that growth means for you.

and then the lil corner of my brain that still contains knowledge from AP Bio started pinging. roots and plants make soil richer, it reminded me. sokka’s enough of a nerd to know this. i’d also recently seen a post about what the roots of plants like wheat/corn/carrots look like when they’ve been growing naturally for years on years, versus when they’re grown on farms for harvesting within a couple years. the difference is ridiculous, y’all. and thus: put down roots and grow like the shooting grasses of fields that do not know the darker acts of metal and men. let me grow in your earth, without being plucked or cut down too soon, and i could make you so much richer, s promises, because that’s the only way he’s ever thought he could build a lasting relationship of any kind.

z, however, reads this quote, and everything about s finally makes sense and also his heart breaks a little. he never lets go of this quote. he takes the phrase your body will be my earth, inks it between his own ribs, and elides i will make you rich because fck that sense of constantly needing to promise returns.

anyway. i was not expecting this line to be so resonant with people, but i’m very touched and humbled that it has, and this response is in part the reason that i’ve grown to be proud of it. it was born of narrative and trope-fulfilling functionality, and has blossomed into something more.

22. have you cried while writing a fic?

i have not, lmao. i don’t emotionally resonate with my own writing as strongly as with works created by other folks—i think i pour too much of my emotional energy into the actual writing, so by the end of the process, i’m all wrung out, lol. i guess for a few months after i finished Tell Me It’s a Sure Thing, i would forget how to breathe any time i re-read the ending.

thank you for the ask! (see all the Qs here 👀)

#ask game #ask #anon #long post #literally my 'plot' outlines are just dialogue exchanges strung together lmao #mine

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inyoursheets · 4 years

Note

2, 16, 18, 23!

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

wow ok this is surprisingly hard to answer! confronting! im not even sure, there isn’t anything specific ive got planned out that im excited to write. i don’t have any future projects planned out yet. or. i mean.....there are some things at the tips of my writing fingers but i can’t allow myself to think about them properly yet bc i need to focus on and commit to finishing warm water. and my thesis (ugh).

there are some things from warm water that ive already written that im excited to share, but right now im in a place where writing just isn’t going smoothly, so whenever i have an idea (like the eloquent “sweatpants dick” note i took recently) (my only contribution that day) im not all that confident or excited about it bc im afraid the actual writing itself will be a pain? that i’ll drag my feet for days and it won’t come easy and i’ll hate every second of it -- until things click and the words start flowing, not unlike this post describes. idk i keep really wanting to write and sitting down for it and then it just--won’t happen. or if i do actually try putting pen to paper i just start hating it all, which i don’t want.

so! this is a sad note to end on! here’s some vague things i am looking forward to: i’m looking forward to being excited about writing in general! i’m looking forward to writing something i’m proud of, either in terms of plot or theme or characterization or dialogue or whatever! i’m also looking forward to having that oh-my-god-the-words-are-flowing-from-me moment, regardless of the result tbh, bc i just love that feeling of loving writing and having it come easily. that’s what im excited about -- being excited about writing again.

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

ok so i have this terrible writing tendency to not know how to not describe every single action characters make -- every movement, every gesture. particularly on first drafts i feel the urge to describe it all, otherwise i can’t continue. i know that it’s not always necessary to write what happens every single second of a scene, but i can’t seem to stop?

idk if im explaining what i mean correctly -- there’s probably terms for this that i dont know -- but someone who i think manages to do the opposite of what i do very well is @fairhairedkings, who is really good at time jumps and not going overboard w the minute-to-minute descriptions, the way i tend to.

i know it can be pretty tiresome and it’s one of the things that annoys me a lot about my own writing, both in terms of reading it (it can be plain boring?) and for the writing itself. it blocks me! but i can’t seem to stop doing it, feel like i’m glazing over things otherwise or lose track of where im going. i have to keep reminding myself that leaving out certain things doesn’t mean that nothing happens or that people assume nothing happens.

so, to answer the question, ive tried to be a bit more concise with it’s hidden in heartbeats, exhales and in the hope of open hands when i started writing it. that fic is a product of being fed up with my other WIPs and it didn’t take more than a week from its initial idea to the finished product, so i really wanted it to be a quickie, and i thought something tight and concise could work for the plot. i didn’t actually manage to succeed though, still ended up describing just about every action there, too. i don’t think i’ll ever manage to write something concise tbh. i do bad with time jumps, i do bad with less is more, which is unfortunate, bc less can truly, truly be more. so! im gonna try this again some time!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

mmm well, warm water originally didn’t include mutual pining -- beth wasn’t supposed to be in love with rio yet, we were gonna watch her fall in love slowly, while he already felt things. but then i ended up almost turning that entirely on its head and now we’ve got the mess that is that this fic in its current state lol. there’s also an AU to warm water that i briefly considered bc of you which i won’t go into now bc of possible spoilers -- but ive considered things!!!

also for it’s hidden in heartbeats, it was supposed to be more about petty!rio and haha, look, exes trying to get “revenge”, and to be light and funny, but i realized that idk how relationships work, let alone how exes work, so i couldn’t really find any good reasons for them splitting up, at least nothing that could generate comedy, so it ended up getting fairly angsty? idk why this keeps happening -- me planning to do something rom com-esque and it developing into something wayyyyy angstier, but it did!

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

oh wow idek! ive definitely been working on warm water the longest, so i guess technically that one, but there are some other ideas that have been drifting near the surface that have been there longer and are very underdeveloped and need time and nourishment and attention and love, all of which i can’t give them yet bc im trying to stay focused on warm water and thesis writing. maybe the beth/stan friendship snippet ive got hidden in somewhere in my docs!

thank youuuu for indulging me!!! meta writing asks!!!!

#ask #ask games #foxmagpie #my fic #why am i so wordy

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gg-astrology · 4 years

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heyy! one of my friends is a cap sun/merc/venus/mars + a virgo moon and talking to him can get so EXHAUSTING and it's not just me saying this, a lot of other people i know say the same thing but i'm looking through the astrology point of view and i wanted to hear your thoughts on it. also is it true that virgo moons can be emotionally detached/have trouble expressing their emotions or does that depend on their other placements?

hey there! 💙🖤❤️ i totally get what you mean, I know someone like that too.. but I have to say this, once again, (as a precaution) try not form opinions of the sign/placements based on bad experiences. Just moving forward, in order to learn techniques and stuff properly. This is just a precaution to keep in mind?

About and For the Virgo Moon Person ⬇️

🚫long post 🚫

So…how do i say this.. virgo moons… they think alot because they want to help? that’s their mode of caring?

In a way, being useful/thinking logically is how they provide help for others. Even if people don’t like them, virgo moon’s detachment stems more bc they care about others than an actual detachment/isolation itself (i.e. see aquarius detachment as well, but of a different kind than virgo).

I think it’s that kind of thing y know - like, detaching ur emotions so u can still offer objectives first. But in a way they also like to over-analyze and over-think a lot of stuff. Especially emotions and how to deal with it/process it moving forward. I think that’s why a part of the archetype is those of a giver and ultimately self-sacrificial, because they will put other priorities before themselves - whether it’s people, objectives, or getting their views across to help the situation.

Even if they bury or suppress their own sensitivity and emotions a lot of the time in order to do that (provide help/offer assistance/support). It’s a good idea to keep in mind that they are burying it underneath.

Let’s look at it from their perspective for a second - you’ve probably already realized this (or if not, it’s never a bad thing to look at it again and maybe realize how empathetic they can be) - they process emotions themselves very logically, so when others come to them for help - they tend to give advice/reflect that back in the same manner, without getting too attached to the emotional side of things (being capable vs being too emotional).

However, they ARE sensitive to the environment - to people around them + what is sourced. If they can’t identify the problem/isn’t sensitive to that - then they wouldn’t be able to offer any advice regarding it. It’s good to keep in mind, that the moon receives energy from others. So when their advice is criticized, thrown away, hurled back or hurled at them. They may hide behind a mask of indifference (bc, again, logic and understanding rationally that not everyone can like you) – but it does still hurt.

That kind of creates a loop contributing to how they suppress or have difficulties occasionally with expressing themselves, or letting themselves talk about stuff freely. Because as much as they want to help - sometimes they think they’re not translating well, or is not helpful to others, the idea of what they’re giving being the opposite of helpful - wasteful or a burden - sometimes repels them too (more like, ‘if it repels them personally it would repel others as well’. That’s how they’d think about it.)

So. You can imagine what that would be like if you’re stuck in a loop of trying to be the Best Version of Yourself Possible (that you think is needed/that you’re proud of or accepted yourself as) but not being actually accepted by others - it’s kind of a hard life to have?? Virgo/Pisces have this thing where being accepted is nice, is what makes it - ultimately fulfilling. They have a role in the universe and a function - and sometimes it’s just hitting and hitting a metal bar until something fits - whether its a place, person, environment, life. That’s when it’s truly ok to feel accepted.

I guess the best way to say this is that Virgos can think sometimes that emotions get in the way - which can be true - of fixing things. And that’s how they function?

I can totally understand your frustration - especially if the person has a lot of Capricorn as well (wanting to be right, prideful, wanting to be Good and the Best even if they can be low-key about it!) - but, again, this is just very earthian. And ultimately - if you’re asking for my perspective, they deserve some empathy. They’re not? really doing harm to anyone. And sometimes it’s just that.

I don’t blame the person altogether, I think it’s an everyone’s problem where no one’s developed or doing well enough to accept each other which is a? thing that happens sometimes in groups and maturity (the idea of developing). A boat is being balanced, someone needs more help than others because they’re rocking it with their own personal problems - but it takes a team to actually keep it together and not throw them overboard.

You don’t have to be friends with those you know you can’t handle right now, I’m just saying 1. look out for yourself, your own boundaries and mental well-being 2. hopefully this will help with empathizing with the person in question a little bit more. At least keeping in mind that they have their own perspective and emotional stuff too. and 3. If things don’t work out right now - don’t worry about it. Time is a long long journey, and people can grow and change - doesn’t mean you have to be there or be obligated to that.

Anyways, as an ending note I just wanted to say I do think Earth moons all kind of have similar problems with opening up - but emotional detachment doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions inside. It’s good to keep that in mind!

If you need any advice on how to help this Virgo Moon person - usually offering detailed and logical advice right back analyzing the topic (whatever it is, like, hey lets talk about boundaries, or hey lets talk about how we both want to be treated?) tends to help. I think they’d appreciate it, just as long as it remains neutral and not a personal attack/direct criticism. They’re still a mutable earth sign, so they CAN get slippery if the tone isn’t right skkskskskkd but - otherwise, I think just spelling it out to them on how to DO stuff that you (and others) are comfortable with is nice.

The problem with this combination is that they don’t KNOW if nobody teaches them. They don’t know what people expect, what other people require, they’re trying to do their best figuring it out themselves and trying to provide from their own perspective. Feedback really helps, but done so in a way that’s like proposing a new concept to discuss/discover together. Rather than a criticism of how shitty they made someone feel.

I hope this helps?? 💙🖤❤️ Again, if you’re interested in learning about this astrologically - try not to have prejudice by learning archetypes of these signs. It tends to help, alongside the placements.

I think most of the time we’re trying to line up our experience with what we’ve learnt, simultaneously at the same time. But sometimes we miscalculate and turn into our experiences over-blinding what we should learn. I recommend reading up on what the planet does as well - if you’re looking into further details about the topic! As it tends to help.

Right.. so. Hm! I can’t take all the credit for this myself, since I did have a long discussion with my friend who’s an Aquarius/Virgo. I think they’re very empathetic, and it helped me a lot with how I wanted to form this answer. So I’m gonna add in some excerpt incase it helps:

Aquarius/Virgo friend:

“i process emotions w a logical approach and when ppl for some come to me for help I’m v much able to help them and give them advice without getting emotionally attached at all? this sounds bad bc it sounds like im not emotionally supporting the person truly nhhhdh yeah it can be useful for advice and knowing how to go on from a bad situation nd move on but it’s not always ideal since. duh. feelings r made to… be felt.. properly”

“but emotionally detached like FR…. idk man…. i think we care a lot abt people, we always want to help nd we’re not ok if they’re not. virgos r actually v sensitive to their environment and how others r feeling as well”

“and true i do feel like all earth signs have issues w expressing emotions. they’re grounded nd they know themselves… so they all think they’re self sufficient. or want to be or whatever. but ofc it’s not true y'all do need somEone sometimes. but its hard bc everyone relies on earth signs i think… so yeah”

“take good care of Virgos. we’re sensitive. we need love. we want people to like and need us. we’ve been through more than u know. yes i will process that you don’t like me logically but i do care deep down, I’ll just bury it so I don’t stop being logical. bye”

“also as u know we’re really good over analyzers nd over thinkers nd w that being said pls reply u were typing but didnt send did i say something wrong i hope i didnt but i idk idk what I’m talking about but am i dumb??? reply plsssksskkjsjd where are u… but then we never send these despite thinking them bc it’s an earth sign supposed 2 be cool for everyone nd grounded all the time”

So! 💙🖤❤️ They’re kind of worriers! 💙🖤❤️ But they’re pretty harmless and nice once they learn how to relax and be chill a little bit more. I guess I’m saying sometimes you just gotta sit a cap/virgo down and be like my dude… mayhaps not?? and be done with it!! 💙🖤❤️ I hope this helps! 💙🖤❤️💙🖤❤️

#astrology asks #virgo moon #cap/virgo #damn all that cap...#no wonder #caps are EXHAUSTING bc theyre serious about everything #i talk about caps being funny and fun loving #but sometimes like myself?? personally??#i know i take things unexpectedly seriously #esp with virgos bc we want to be the best or like #put our best foot forward #anyways #anon #asks

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four-loose-screws · 4 years

Text

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation - Chapter 7 Part 3

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations - Ko-fi

T/N: Chapter 7′s title completely spoils one of the big events of the chapter, so I won’t be putting it in my tumblr posts like I usually do. You can check out the Google Doc, where I could hide it. Highlight the Table of Contents page to see it. In the event that this is your first experience with FE4′s plot, read the title after Chapter 7 Part 3. Those who have played FE4, it is of course nothing you don’t already know.

———————————

Chapter 7

Part 3

Brigid was the daughter of the previous head captain of the Orgahill Pirates.

When the head captain passed away, she’d inherited the crew, but that did not mean that her power was absolute. Even before she took over, whenever her father gave an order, each individual ship captain was free to decide whether or not their ship obeyed.

When the other two ship captains, Dobarl and Pizarl, learned that Augustria was going to war again, they went to Orgahill Castle and suggested to Brigid that they pillage the coastal towns.

“Captain, the Madinoian soldiers are all out fighting! They wouldn’t stop us! Now’s our chance! Let’s ransack the villages and take all their treasure for ourselves!”

“Dobarl, have you forgotten what I’ve always told you!? It is our duty as pirates to maintain the safety of the seas. Whenever a group of bandits pillages, they soon find that they’ve made an enemy of the countries whose land they assaulted. So we should watch silently upon what happens on land, shouldn’t we? What you are proposing is nothing more than robbery. What do you think would happen if we did that? Surely you know that it would be inviting someone to attack us. I will not allow it.”

“That’s exactly the point, Captain! Dobarl was thinking that pillaging the villages would only be the beginning, then in the end, we’d take Madino for ourselves…”

“Yeah! We’d slowly take over all of Augustria, and that would make you the queen of Augustria one day!”

“Silence, Dobarl! Leave the land to the bandits! How many times do I have to repeat myself!?” She shouted at them.

The two sulked out of Orgahill Castle.

While walking back to the coast, Dobarl asked, “So what should we do now?”

“Do it ourselves, of course! ...Wait just a minute, I’ve got an idea!” Pizarl exclaimed.

“What is it? Tell me!?”

“Let’s go mess with her ship’s crew, and take ‘em with us! It’ll be like pluckin’ her wings off her! Then we’ll laugh at her for it when we get home!”

“I love it! ...But I wonder if they’ll wanna go with us…”

“Just leave it to me.”

The two paddled a rowboat up to Brigid’s ship, The Nora, and climbed aboard.

Pizarl stood atop the ship’s stern, and shouted, “Ahoy, maties! Gather ‘round!” Everyone did so, then he explained his plan. “Right now, we can do whatever we want, and the captain doesn’t want to take advantage of that! But I betcha’ll think differently. Well, dont’cha? ...Anyway, we thought we’d tell you a little somethin’ interestin’. Brigid ain’t really the head captain’s daughter! He found her on a washed up boat when she was little, and took her in! But she doesn’t know that, and thinks she can order us around! ‘Don’t harass those women!’ ‘You can’t go around pillaging!’ You’ve heard it all before! ...What does she think we are, a bunch of priests!?”

Several members of the crew snickered.

“We’re pirates! If we pass this chance up, we’ll be the laughing stock of the pirate spirit! Ya’ll wouldn’t let that happen, would ya? Just think of all the treasure and women you’d miss out on! You agree with me, don’t ya?”

Everyone was silent, except for one man. “I don’t!”

The moment he heard those words, Dobarl pointed at the man who said them.

“Did you just say you don’t like my plan!?” Pizarl asked.

“U-Um, yes…”

“Then come on up here and tell us your opinion! We listen to everyone’s opinions. That’s one of our best traits as pirates.”

The man stood atop the stern, in front of Dobarl and Pizarl.

“We might be able to do whatever we want right now… but when I remember all the things Captain Brigid has said… I think I might agree with her…”

When the man was done, Dobarl raised his axe and swung it so fast it looked like a flash of light.

The man’s head fell on the deck and his neck spurted blood everywhere.

“And that’s my opinion. Anyone else got their own!?” Dobarl glared at all of them.

The crew was frozen in place, and uttered not a word.

“The first mate of this ship is Sheldon, ain’t he? Hey Sheldon, yer the new captain. Get on up here, cap’n!”

Sheldon rushed up to the stern in a panic.

“Now pick out a new first mate.”

Sheldon nodded and appointed his choice.

“Excellent! Everything’s settled! We set sail in thirty minutes. All the treasure and women in the world will fall before your very eyes! Are ya ready!?”

Everyone let out a loud cheer.

Thirty minutes later, they rose the anchor, and set sail.

Once they were moving, they heard a loud splash come from the direction of the stern.

“What happened? Did someone fall overboard?” Sheldon called out.

“No, Bailey jumped ship.”

Sheldon walked over to the stern and looked down at the water.

By the time Bailey’s head surfaced, he was already very far from the ship.

“What should we do?” Someone asked.

“Just leave ‘im there. Losing one man won’t hurt us.” Sheldon answered.

The moment she heard that all the ships had set sail, Brigid rushed out of the castle.

‘Even The Nora…? Why…?’ She wondered as she watched the three boats sail further and further away.

“Someone’s coming this way!” One of her remaining men, returning from shore, reported.

Both she and Bailey reached the beach at the same time.

He stepped out of the rowboat and told her about what happened aboard The Nora.

She was shocked to hear the news that not only did most everyone cheer for Pizarl and Dobarl, but also that she was not really the previous head captain’s daughter.

When they returned to the castle, Brigid began to think about what she should do next.

Dobarl and Pizarl had made it clear that they were now her enemies.

‘I have no choice but to think of everyone aboard The Nora as enemies as well. When they get back…’

There was no way they’d ever treat her the same way ever again.

‘Should I fight them? Should I run?’

There were too few crew members left at the fort for her to fight back. And she couldn’t trust even a single member of her crew anymore. She wouldn’t mind dying in battle, but she loathed the idea of becoming their prisoner.

And she had no urge to kill herself.

‘My only choice is to run away.’

That night, she and Bailey left the castle.

Chagall took command of the unit attacking from the north, but the moment he heard all their allies had been taken out, he hid in the forest.

He threw off his armor to avoid being easy to spot, and headed towards Silvali Castle.

He knew that if he returned to Madino, he’d have no chance of winning. If he wanted to tip the scales, he had no choice but to rely on Eldigan’s Mystletainn and the Cross Knights.

Since everyone in Sigurd’s army was busy fighting, he was able to make it safely to Silvali Castle.

When Eldigan came to greet him, Chagall immediately started yelling at him.

“What are you doing, Eldigan!? My army is being destroyed, and you’re up her lounging around!”

“I’m only following your orders, aren’t I, Your Majesty? The Grannvalian Army will withdraw soon, so please be patient…”

“Who really believes that!? Are you plotting with the enemy to bring about the destruction of your own country!?”

“Your Majesty… do you really believe that?”

“What, you don’t like what I said!? Have you forgotten your oath to my father, abandoned your duties as a knight, and turned to a life of idleness?”

“It doesn’t matter what I say to you anymore.” Eldigan’s expression hardened. “I understand, Your Majesty. We will follow your orders and deploy. I am a proud Crusader of Augustria. If my country is to die, then I want to fight and die with it. I only ask that you please find a path to peace when you receive news that I died. Consider that my final wish… No, my final act of loyalty.”

Eldigan gathered the Cross Knights and ordered them to line up for battle. “We are going to fight now! This is our final chance to showcase our loyalty to our country. Show them the glory of the Cross Knights!”

Erinys had been surveilling the castle, and when she saw the Cross Knights deploy, she immediately returned to Augusty Castle and sent a smoke signal.

The sight of it shocked Sigurd.

‘Why are you fighting, Eldigan? I don’t want to do this…’

However, they were at the point of no return.

Sigurd left a small defense unit to guard the newly seized Madino Castle, and ordered the rest of his army to return to Augusty.

He took the lead, and as Farron galloped along, Sigurd’s thoughts continued to run wild.

‘Is there really no way to avoid fighting?’

Lachesis was part of the Augusty defense unit, but when she heard that the Cross Knights had deployed, she left the castle.

‘I have to do something to stop Eldie…!’

By the time she arrived, the Cross Knights were already fighting Sigurd’s army.

However, Eldigan wasn’t fighting, and instead searching for Sigurd. “I am Eldigan! Do not get in my way! Where is Sigurd!?” He yelled.

No one dared challenge him.

Eldigan continued traveling alone, until he finally saw Sigurd.

“Eldigan, please! Put away your sword!” Sigurd called out to him.

“I don’t want to fight you! I’d give my life to keep my promise to return Augusty to you! Please, just wait a little longer! Trust me!”

“Sigurd, I’m sorry. But don’t speak another word. My only option left is to fight bravely as a knight of Augustria. So come at me, Sigurd! My Demon Sword Mystletainn will destroy you!”

When Eldigan began to charge, someone flew in-between them.

It was Lachesis.

“Brother! It’s me! Lachesis!” She screamed as loudly as she could.

Eldigan froze.

“Please stop fighting these pointless battles! Are you really going to break your promise to Sigurd!? Is betraying your friends really the way of a knight!?”

“...”

“Brother, trust in Sigurd, and please wait just a little longer!”

“Lachesis… Don’t cry. There’s no other options anymore.” He said, feeling that he’d lost the pride he’d thought he would die on.

“Yes, there are! If you withdraw your soldiers, then Prince Sigurd won’t keep fighting with you! Please, I beg of you!”

‘If I die, I’ll have no choice but to entrust Sigurd to take care of Lachesis. But if Sigurd is the one to kill me, then she won’t feel like she can stay with his army, and there’ll be no one to protect her.’

“King Chagall’s army has already been defeated. The only soldiers left are your Cross Knights. He can’t just ignore you anymore!”

‘I lived for Augustria and Lachesis. If I die a shameful death, then what will that do to her?’

“Please, Brother.”

“You’re right.” Eldigan sheathed Mystletainn. “I’ll try to change the king’s mind one last time. If I’m going to risk my life, then I’d rather be fighting for my own beliefs, than fighting a battle I am unwilling to fight. That is the way of a knight.” Eldigan removed his sword from his belt and gave it to Lachesis.

“Please take this, Lachesis.”

“But this is Mystletainn! ...Brother, you can’t…!”

“You can keep it as a memento of me, in case anything happens to me. And if someone appears with my Holy Mark, then give it to them. Stay alive, Lachesis.” Eldigan said, then turned his horse around, and galloped off.

“Ah! Wait, Eldie!”

He didn’t look back. ‘Be happy, Lachesis.’ He said to himself over and over again. He urged his horse to move as quickly as possible, as if they were being pursued by something.

He only stopped beside the Cross Knights to say, “Sigurd and I have agreed to a cease-fire! Everyone, lay down your weapons!”

When Eldigan reached Silvali Castle, he thanked his confused horse. “You’ve done well. This is our final goodbye. I pray your next owner treats you well.”

His horse seemed to have understood what Eldigan said, as when Eldigan started to walk away, he let out a loud neigh.

When Chagall heard from a guard that Eldigan had returned, he walked out to the courtyard.

“Your Majesty, it would be pointless to continue fighting. Please vow to establish peace. Augusty will be returned to you one day.”

“Eldigan, is that what you call a victory!? I knew it! You really were conspiring with the enemy! Someone, seize this traitor! Cut off his head, and make a laughingstock of him!”

No one moved.

“I said, seize him!”

Again, no one moved.

Chagall lost his temper, grabbed a sword from one of his soldiers, and stood in front of Eldigan.

“Then I will be the one to punish you. Kneel down!”

Eldigan did as he was told.

“Hmph. So you’ve accepted your fate. You fool!”

‘Lachesis…’

Chagall swung the sword, and cut off Eldigan’s head.

Those who witnessed this event, knew that it meant the end of The Dominion of Augustria.

#fire emblem #fe4 #fe #genealogy of the holy war #nintendo #super nintendo #snes #famicom #super famicom #japan #japanese #translation #novel #light novel #fe4 suzuki novelization translation

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vaguely-concerned · 5 years

Text

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my g o d

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon” t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking.

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM. j e s u s thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t b r e a t h e he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready

#temeraire #tongues of serpents #his majesty's dragon #meta #back again after a brief pause! still crying a lot about tharkay! the more things change huh

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sunnysidewrites · 6 years

Text

Neighbor!Woozi

based on this post hehehe

i just fed yall TWICE. in the span of just 2 DAYS!!! AND THEY’RE BOTH MORE OR LESS THE SAME LONG ASS LENGTH!!! yeah that’s right i went overboard again gtg

happy happy bday to the lovely admin bee of @mansaeboysbe you are such a beautiful person inside and out, and im incredibly proud to know someone like you :’))) i’ve already sent a bday message to you so im not tryna redo it LOL but just know that i love you a whole lot and i always will! 💗💗💗💗💓💓 (she’s also the same person who gave me those beautiful headers on my mlist so please give her tons of love <333) love you sm hub hope you have a wonderful and fantastic day!!!

*to all the mutuals with bdays that have either passed or are coming up, i love you all SO FREAKING MUCH so pls dont feel left out!! it just so happened that i wanted to write this au for a long time and i wanted to present it as a bday gift for this jihoon stan hehe but i rlly love each every single one of u ok babes? <333*

warnings: i feel like i dragged this on for too long but i hope it’s still cute :’)) also i put in a joke like twice LOL anyways lil wooz only gets tongue-tied around you so you become his muse for songs

You were looking for a place to stay in bc “I am a grown adult i am not living with yall anymore” you @ your parents

And they’re like lol ok Good Luck Kiddo

After a month and a half of deeeeep searching you finally find a reasonably priced place to live in

It’s quite a distance from your parents’ home but it’s the point of you moving out to begin with

On the move-in day, you’re carrying your boxes up to your new apartment complex and you hear some tunes drifting from your next door neighbor

And you’re like hey this is actually really good music but i’ve never heard of it

You shrug it off and continue settling in

Once you finished hauling your boxes, you were about to pass out on your couch

Ok you actually did pass out on your couch

But you had to unpack some necessities later that night for bathroom and bedroom purposes

All you had for dinner was pop in some instant ramen and call it a night. You then hopped in the shower and got ready for bed

The following morning it was primarily you unpacking and shifting around your furniture a little but it was challenging by yourself

You were making a good amount of noise and in the middle of the day you were met with a very loud knock on your door

And you were in the middle of unpacking your kitchenware so you were like oh shoot ahh i’ll be right there!!

Little did you know your next door neighbor wasn’t having any of it

Can’t I get some peace and quiet around here? He grumbled as he impatiently waited for you to open the door

I swear, I’m gonna tell them off they won’t even knOW what will hit--

You finally opened the door, and he’s like oh. My gosh.

You had a few pieces of hair sticking to your forehead and your hair was tied back in a messy bun

You were dressed in a faded coral tee underneath a pair of worn-out denim overalls with house slippers

Everything he planned to complain about suddenly vanished and his first thought was:

“Is that Pikachu on your front pocket?”

Apparently he said that aloud, which he didn’t register until he saw you giggling

“Yeah, it was a hand-me-down! Still cute, right?”

And he’s kinda still just staring at you with his mouth slightly agape

And you’re like oh right ahem did you need anything?

That’s when he notices the utter mess behind you: plastic covering still over some of your furniture, half-emptied boxes littered in almost every inch of the floor, etc.

And that’s when it hits him: all that noise was you unpacking

“O-oh yeah, I just,, wanted to let you know that it was getting a little loud since I live right next door”

He silently curses at himself like i almost went off at my new neighbor rip that wasn’t gonna be a good first impression

Luckily for him, you were chill about it and you’re like omg sorry!!! It’s a little tough doing this by myself, sorry for the ruckus

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “do you need any help?”

Jihoon internally: u doofus u have an album to produce whAT ARE U DOING

Jihoon externally: i can help you :))) no matter how smol i may be

But that internal reprimanding melted away when he saw your eyes light up in relief and you’re practically bouncing up and down

“Would you, really??? It would be great if I had another hand around! Oh, but you’re probably occupied doing something, right??” and you feel bad that a stranger, your next door neighbor nonetheless, was about to abandon his work just for you

A cute neighbor, at that

Jihoon is like ok this is your chance to get away and go back to work cmon man

But there’s just something about you that pulls him in magnetically and he finds himself trying to reason internally that it’ll just be for a “few moments”

Yyyeaaahhh that doesn’t happen lmao rip Jihoon’s songs

Jihoon is just like “nah it’s fine I can help out for a bit” and you’re like god bless this human being

When you open your door further to let him in, he’s like oh right btw I’m Jihoon

“I’m y/n! Sorry about the mess, I only got here yesterday evening”

He shakes his head and quirks up his lips ever so slightly, “i remember when my place looked like this too except replace this space with music production things”

And you’re like ooOOoOoOO you make songs??? That’s amazing!!

And that’s when you got the ball rolling!!!

“A few moments” turn into hours and the next thing you know it’s dinnertime

“Oh crap sorry for keeping you for this long,,, those songs won’t produce themselves, right? I think I can take it from here”

Admittedly, jihoon didn’t wanna leave just yet bc he actually enjoyed your company and it was nice taking a break from staring at his screen frustratedly

“Well, I don’t mind helping out. I could show you my work one day if you want”

And you’re like holy cheeseballs yES

He starts getting up and brushing off his clothes and you’re a little sad that he’s leaving and he kinda is too :(

“If you’re not too busy tomorrow, you’re welcome to help me out more! I mean, you already helped me a whole lot today, but there’s still some things left to do”

As much as his brain is telling him to NOT DO IT,,,,

He does it

Next thing you know, jihoon is at your door again around the same time and he has something in his hand

As you let him inside, you ask him what it is and he’s like ;))))

“It’s a CD that compiled just a few songs I thought you might like”

And you’re #shook bc did he really just have a CD like this out in the open or did he really take his time yesterday to transfer songs on it??

“Do you have a player or a laptop?”

“Yeah, my laptop is on my bed, you can bring it out here!” You shout over your shoulder as you arrange your things in the living room

Shortly afterwards he emerges from the hallway and he presses a few buttons and clicks here and there and beautiful melodies ring out from your speakers

You can’t help but stop rustling to take in the sweet tunes and you’re just like :’))) have i heard anything so beautiful??? :’)))

One of the songs sound vaguely familiar and you realize it’s what you heard when you first arrived here

“Did you actually produce this??? This sounds like an actual song you can hear on the radio”

And he’s like yep made by yours truly!!!

He was only using “yours truly” half-metaphorically if you know what I mean ;)))

You keep bouncing to all the catchy tunes and swaying to the soulful ones

And in all honesty, seeing your reactions makes Jihoon feel really warm and even a little proud bc it’s one of the biggest reasons why he loves his job so much

He makes eye contact with you and you’re like :D and he’s like ahEM COuGh coUGh i’m gonna dust this shelf over here

He suddenly stands up and busies himself and you’re like ???? okie dokie

He’s a real help around the place and you’re practically done settling in

As you survey your fresh living space, you can’t help but feel a little…. Disheartened?

Bc it was actually really fun to have him around even while he made blunt remarks about your taste of decorations

“This looks like something my five-year-old niece would have”

“For your information, I got that from a five-year-old!! It’s cute, alright!”

You spent the past three days with Jihoon unpacking and talking about whatever comes to mind

Jihoon is pretty devastated that he has to go back to his makeshift studio in his room as much as he will never admit it

He eventually leaves your place and the both of you are just sad little puppies

From then on, every time you pass by each other, you greet him with a friendly smile and wave and you never fail to make his heart skip several beats

You don’t talk as much as how you first started bc he’s gotten much busier trying to mass-produce a lot of songs

For some strange reason, every time you hear a melody coming from the other side of the walls, you feel like you’re somehow connected with him

Well, except for the muffled cursing LMAO

And sometimes you would also hear several male voices at once and you’re guessing they’re his friends or the people he’s working with on the song, but based on their friendly banter and the constant run-throughs, it’s probably both

You would hear the same melody play over and over again, and you’re guessing he’s stuck on a certain part of a song as he tries to recreate new melodies from that point on

“aaAAGHGHHHGGHHHH” *deep sigh* me trying to overcome writer’s block LMAO

This would happen for about half an hour and you can’t help but wanting to reach out to him, but you’re not exactly the most musically-inclined person sadly

When he ultimately calms down, he goes back to working on the song until he finally gets the results he desires

More often than not, you fall asleep from hearing the slow ballads he creates with a smile on your face

Lil Jihoon does try to visit you and vice versa!! He sometimes shows up with random food and more CDs and you’re wondering just how many songs has this guy produced in his lifetime??? He looks around the same age as you but he’s probably produced 26+ songs by the way he packs a decent amount on each CD

Usually his excuse to sharing a meal with you is that “the guys brought over too much and i have a ton of leftovers that i can’t finish by myself”

In reality, he stared at a restaurant’s menu and contemplated for about twenty minutes about what you would like. This guy’s got dedication not just for work

“Would it be weird if i get fried chicken?? Maybe just a bowl of noodles?? What if soup is better??? It would give weird vibes if i bought drinks too, right?? Or should i just go ahead and buy them???”

Regardless of what he buys, you’re eager to eat anything and everything with your fav neighbor *wink wonk*

You feel bad when he would do that though, so you try to return the favor every so often as well

One time, you ordered some takeout but the servings were waaaaay bigger than advertised and you’re like Idea!! Let’s head over next door!! So you took the plastic bags and put in some drinks before heading out the door

You knocked on the door and that was when you heard light chatter on the other side of the door

You’re like sldjfljds i hope im not interrupting anything aaa mAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE--

Too late, someone’s voice rang out “I’ll get it!” and next thing you know, the door swings out to reveal a face you’ve never seen before

“Oh, hi!” He says a little surprisedly but with a smile nevertheless

“H-hi, umm,,,, is Jihoon there?”

The guy is nodding his head in the direction of the back hallway, “yeah, he’s in the bathroom” and that’s when he looks down at your hands and his eyes instantly light up

“Omg did you bring food?? You’re so thoughtful!! Come in, come in!!” and before you could protest he literally drags you in and you’re met with a bunch of other strangers who are staring back at you like :oooo????

“Who’s this?? Jihoon never mentioned someone coming over today,, AND YOU CAN’T JUST DRAG SOMEONE IN THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME”

And you’re like ya i didnt know either lmao

You’re awkwardly shifting on your feet and praying jihoon will pop up instantaneously bc you’re gonna melt in embarrassment

“I just wanted to give him some of this,” you hold up your hands to gesture your food, “since it’s too much for me to finish on my own”

“Oh that’s cool! Some of the other guys are actually out to get more lunch, but food goes out fast with all of us here,” another guy says as he pats your shoulder reassuringly. “Well, since you’re already here, you can join us!”

“I-it’s ok! I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything, I just wanted to deliver this,,, I’ll get going” and you’re about to zOOM outta there but the same guy who ushered you in is like nO DONT LEAVE

“We’re taking a lunch break, so it’s cool if you join us! I’m Soonyoung” and he’s like :DDD and you’re just like ,,,, what a hyper guy but i like him

Everyone goes around to introducing themselves

you do a headcount of 8 and you remember there’s more guys getting food for them,,,, holy heck how many people do they have???? You’re about to introduce yourself after them but then

“Soonyoung, who was at the door--” a familiar voice calls out in the hallway before he emerges

And jihoon is like dsljLSJDF what the hELL

“Y/N??? What are you doing here???” *side eyes soonyoung*

And everyone’s making eyes at each other like waIT WAIT THIS IS Y/N???

“Soonyoung dragged me inside”

“Gdi soonyoung, how many times do i have to tell you that you can’t go around dragging people to join us???”

This guy who you think is named Seokmin pipes up, “yeah he does this all the time at our workplace too. A lot of our coworkers always end up extending their stay for far too long” and you’re nodding slowly like yeahhh i can see that happening

Soonyoung’s eyes are widened and he turns to jihoon like “is this the y/n that inspired your recent so--”

And jihoon is quick to cover his mouth so his voice is all muffled

“aHahaAHHAH soonyoung’s always the joker, april fools day!!! Let’s set the table, the others should be back soon”

jihoon whispering to soonyoung: you better sleep with one eye open tonight boi

And you’re like uhh alrighty :)))???

About twenty minutes after you’ve arrived, there’s another knock on the door

Soonyoung is practically bouncing on his way to the door and you can hear more unknown voices

They’re filing in and they suddenly stop and look at you like wait what

Them: :o????

You: :))),,, what up

Jeonghan briefly explains the situation to the guy who came in the door first and you’re lowkey intimidated bc he seems to be eldest and looks like he could beat you up to a pulp

BOY WERE YOU WRONG

After jeonghan tells him, he breaks out into this gigantic, cute gummy smile like welcome!! :DD i’m seungcheol! And the other guys behind him follow suit

Jeonghan’s like “this is,, y/n” and everyone tries to be subtle and nods like they didn’t hear jihoon babble on and on about you for weeks

You: ok why do yall act all weird when my name is brought up whAT DID JIHOON TELL YOU

Them: i would tell you but i don’t wanna die just yet sorry dude

Jihoon, somewhere in the kitchen: SET! THE! TABLE!

You end up staying there for a pretty long time, bonding over the whole feast you have and it’s really lively and fun, not to mention super loud with 13 guys in the same room,,, but you’re genuinely having a good time

Jihoon would glance at you nervously occasionally to check on you if you’re uncomfortable in any way

Jeonghan, who’s sitting next to him, notices jihoon’s eyes are practically glued to you and he’s like “is this the part where you confess your undying love and propose”

And jihoon is like shUT UP NO WHAT this chicken tastes great *quickly chugs down water*

You look back at jihoon sometimes and see he looks flushed but it’s not like he’s drinking alcohol

“Jihoon are you feeling ok?? Your ears are bright red” which obviously makes them redder rip

“I-i’m fine,, wow is it hot in here maybe it’s just the spiciness of the chicken let’s open the windows”

You eventually leave them as much as they protest and even try to get Jihoon to guilt trip you (unsuccessfully)

“Don’t leave just yet y/n!! You should stay, right Jihoon???”

“Huh?? O-oh yeah, I mean, you can if you want,,,,, we kinda need to work though”

Everyone’s looking at jihoon like bro wTF are u kidding me

Rip reader i can feel your heart drop :’(((

You’re feeling slightly dejected but you nod understandingly. You’ve already stayed far longer than you anticipated anyways, and work comes first for Jihoon

“Yeah, I totally get it! Good luck on the album guys!” You put on your shoes and close the door

When they finally hear your own door close, they’re attacking jihoon like

“SO Y/N IS THE ONE BEHIND ALL YOUR SAPPY LOVE SONGS HUH!!!”

“I knew it, the lyrics just suddenly got cheesier -- there had to be someone behind all of that”

And jihoon is just praying you won’t hear what they’re saying like “SHUT UP THESE WALLS ARE THIN”

Back at your apartment, it suddenly feels much emptier and lonelier

“What am i doing,,, I just met the guys for like two hours???”

You sigh and you try to busy yourself doing other things but you hear a loud commotion on the other side of the walls with just a bunch of incoherent shouting

You smile and laugh to yourself when you think about how close they all are

Your smile slowly fades when you start wishing you wanna be close to Jihoon and you’re like snAP OUT OF IT!!!

A couple of weeks pass by uneventfully but you notice that Jihoon has gotten more reserved around you

It’s just him being bashful around you and he panics every time he sees you but obviously he doesn’t want you to know that

You’re standing at your little mini balcony and admiring your cute little cactus plants

Just as you start thinking about him and his wellbeing, you hear your name and you’re like wHO’S THERE

You look down and see Jihoon staring back at you and honestly he looks like he’s awestruck by your whole beauty bc seriously everything you wear always looks super good to him

[insert photo]

(also pretend he’s holding plastic bags)

He holds up his hands and you’re laughing bc you know exactly what that means

“Come on up!”

There’s a knock on your door promptly afterwards and what do you know!!! It’s the man himself!!!

It’s just funny how the both of you have this ongoing routine that you know what to expect

When you let him in, he places the bags on your table and quickly smiles to himself when he sees your laptop on your bed

You and Jihoon both mindlessly do your respective roles as usual

He slowly comes out in the living room with your laptop and he’s like “so the album is pretty much done now,,, i can’t release all of the songs yet but there’s one i want you to listen to. I’ll show you after we eat”

You’re like ooo im excited and you start catching up with him as you’re eating

You can’t contain your excitement any longer, so as soon as you eat the last bit of your food, you’re like “oKAY SHOW ME IT NOW” as you’re restlessly shifting on your legs

He nods and pulls up the media player on your laptop. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pressing play

It’s a melody you’re quite acquaintanced with after hearing it countless times at night, the same tune that lulls you to sleep

You have high expectations for this song, and surely he surpasses them with flying colors

You’re enjoying the song and telling him “wow this is a really good song!” when suddenly some lyrics catch your attention

You hear something about messy hair pulled back, ruffled clothes, eating meals

And you’re like huh that sounds a lot like us haha is that supposed to be me??

Jihoon is avoiding eye contact with you and looking down at his fidgeting hands as the song progresses in its later verses

The lyrics talk about wanting to develop a deeper relationship, one where “it’s okay to tell me anything, your hardships and desires. I just want to see you smile” and you’re like wait,,,,

And one of the final lyrics says something about “i can’t help feeling like this, will you accept my hand?” and you’re like wait wait w a i t

The song comes to an end and silence fills the room

You’re not sure whether you should speak up first or wait for him, but either way you’re speechless and wouldn’t know what to say anyways

Jihoon clears his throat awkwardly and stumbles on his words poor bby

“S-so, yeah,,,, I’ve been working on this one the longest,,,, umm do you,,, like it?”

But you know better that he’s not just talking about the song

“Nah sorry man i’m not interested”

“O.”

April fools kiddos ofc you are

“....yeah. I do like it”

And he finally brings himself to look at you and he’s like !!!!! really????

“Wait, for real??? You actually like it???”

He’s pretty much paralyzed in shock and all he can do is watch your hand move towards his and hold it

“I like it a lot, Jihoon :)”

He blinks slowly and he can’t fight the grin that spreads on his face as he grips your hand back

“I’m accepting your hand now heehee ^^”

“Okay let’s not talk about that”

122 notes · View notes

begoniaguts · 3 years

Text

and yet again...

things have changed.

as they always do!

things are good tho. for the first time in quite a while i feel very stable in every aspect of my life.

Luke and I broke up in June. I sold my grandmas house by myself in September. Kepler and I now rent a room with my friend Clara and 2 other roomates in Oxnard Shores right by the beach. Literally the end of my street is the ocean. I never thought i would live at the beach but now that i do i dont ever want to leave. I am paying rent for the first time in my life. I have a decent amount of saving and no debt and a 800+ credit score and im able to feed myself and my dog and buy things i probably dont need and still feel comfortable paying my bills. My room is decorated really nicely and i feel like a fucking adult. I go promoted at my retail job to Assistant Manager. I take my vitamins and eat fairly healthy most of the time while still allowing myself to indulge without going overboard. I lost at least 20 lbs since my breakup. I dont exercise as much as i used to but i try to at least a few times a week. I walk kepler in the morning on the beach and its very nice.

August and September was probably the 2nd hardest time of my life (aside from my moms illness/death) I thought i was going to have to move back to my dads with my brother who was going through his worst psychotic episode yet. he was hospitalized for over a week all while i was cleaning out and moving an entire house by my fucking self while dealing with my break up. I truly thought i might end my life if i had to move back to my dads in that environment. im not sure i would have gone through with it but i dont know how i could have dealt.

my breakup is still hard and i question if i did the right thing but considering how stable i feel i think i made the right choice. my life isnt as instense as it used to be and sometimes i do miss it. the high highs defi always come with the low lows and currently i feel like how people describe being medicated. I think sometimes i got addicted to that intensity but for now it is nice to just be here, be present. i am not stressed or freaking out. i dont have a real direction i want to go in but thats fine. i am allowing myself to just be right now. especially considering we are nearly a year into the covid pandemic and there isnt a whole lot of progressing one can do. but i HAVE progressed.

it is nice to indulge in buying things as i havent done that for quite some time because i was very poor while caring for my gma, not working a lot, and getting out of debt/saving to move out. i bought myself and ipad. and ive been framing my artwork and putting it on my walls. im very proud of my art and last year i made art every day for the month of january. i would like to do that again and keep going. my end goal with my life is to create art every single day. it is the most important

I have been sober from weed for over 2 years now and i do casually drink but its never an issue.

I also have a boyfriend, a very nice boy i met on Tinder. I didnt exactly want to be in another monogamous relationship again, but i am making the excuse that the pandemic makes non-monogamy inconvenient. I am sure i will suffer the consequnce of this choice later when i decide my life needs more intensity. but for now he is a wonderful person to spend time with and we have truly some of the best sex of my life. he is very beautiful and angro/femme looking, defi the skinniest man ive ever been with and tbh i fucking love it. he has an adorable doggy names pudding. he loves kep. his dick is fucking beautiful.

Luke and i havent spoken since October. it makes me very sad that this person i was so so close with, i dont even talk to anymore. i hope one day we can when things have healed. i still care about him so much but i continued to hurt him with my shitty behavior so it is best that we are not in touch.

Its nice to make an update when im not in some sort of crisis. youre doing great Brooke. Im really proud of you.

0 notes

pollenprince · 7 years

Note

EVERYONE LIVES- No one has to die in my muse’s story, be it for Better or for worse.

// okay I maaaay have gone just a liiiiiitle bit overboard with this so sorry for thatalso sorry if you wanted it to be a perfect piece of fluff because i went and made it sad and now i feel sad myself please save me

"...Ma! Ma-a-a! Unkie Tom is being weird again!"

"How interesting. What did he do now?"

"He's crying over that - ugh - that stupid dolphin! An' I tell him, she's alright, she got a tail - but! Ugh! He don' listen! An' he says she still lost her tail first, she's poor this an' poor that, an'..."

There is a loud, hearty laugh, and a large fluffy paw rests on the kid's messy hair.

"First things first, it is 'he doesn't', not 'he don't'. Remember? Now, dear", Toriel says with just a hint of irony in her honeylike voice. "As far as I remember, you shed a few tears over that story as well".

"Am a kid, Ma! An' he's a grown up." Frisk squints at her, furious at Uncle Tom's sensitivity. "An' it was an hour ago - no cryin' now!"

"Fine, fine, my child. I understand you. Yet I believe you are too hard on him. Show a little Kindness to your poor old Uncle, will you not?"

Frisk makes a sound of distress, shrugs and walks away, throwing their hands in the air in capitulation. Wind plays with their hair, and tall dry grass strokes their knees, covered in colorful patches of mismatched bandaids.

Toriel laughs again, but her laugh turns into a surprised little squeak as two hands hug her from behind rather tightly.

"What was that about?"

"Tom has been crying again", she answers, leaning back so she can briefly nuzzle noses with Asgore. Her tone is more playful than concerned, as if Tom crying is a bit of a family anecdote, which it is.

"Oh, is that really so?" Asgore says, raising his brows, and Toriel giggles in his arms. "Well, I suppose he will need a double portion of chamomilla tea today. Now, could you give me a hand with that blanket?"

"I guess you could say that would certainly come in hand-y", Toriel says solemnly, and they both smile while they lay the blanket under the tree.

***

Frisk walks across the field, hands flying up now and then in an attempt to regain their balance when their feet get tangled in the grass. The sun touches the back of their head, and it becomes burning hot very soon. They muffle their hair and snuff with a serious face.

Behind them, their friends settle down for a picnic. Asgore and Toriel busy themselves with food; Snowy, his father, mother and little sister work together to keep the drinks cold; the skeleton family is tinkering with the fireworks; the dogs are in charge of the barbeque, and Gerson watches them so they don't drop too much fur on the meat; Shyren sings along with her sister and two small shy ghosts; Undyne shouts something motivational while Alphys laughs herself breathless, long given up on attempts to stop her girlfriend, and the sound of her happy laugh rings far across the field.

Frisk keeps walking.

They climb a hill, stubbornly clenching their fists when the cheerful hum behind them becomes especially clear and loud. Their goal is there, on top of the hill, and they are determined to get there.

They get there.

"Unkie Tom?" they call out hesitantly. "Am sorry. For, uh. For saying you are weird. Cause, uh. It was a real sad story. I guess".

There is a rustle, a low drone, as if somebody has blown into a fire. Then-

"Oh, okay", a deep voice says, and it is both watery and warm. "I don't mind, really. I am a crybaby, right? I am and I know that and I am proud".

"You not - not mad at me?"

"How could I be? Now - come 'ere".

Frisk smiles uneasily and comes a step closer, and then - then a giant horned head descends to them to carefully press its nose to the top of the child's head.

"We are good?" asks the head with the same warm voice, and its green eyes watch Frisk with concern.

"Yeah". They touch the nose; it is warm and covered in soft fur. "Thanks, Unkie. Can I - can I talk to Asriel, pretty please?"

"Oh. Sure".

The beast in front of Frisk, an enormous dragon covered in white fur, shakes its head - wind whistles in its vicious horns, in its seven pairs of wings. All his fourteen eyes blink before one pair of them flies open and the others shut completely. Two mighty front paws dig into the ground a little deeper, each talon is as big as Frisk's head.

Then, the beast lowers its stare and says, "Howdy".

"Howdy", Frisk says.

"It's a nice day for a picnic", Asriel says. "I like the sun. Everybody does".

"How're they doing?"

"Oh, everything is quite well". The beast scratches its head. "Ana is mad at Terry. Again. She says they rush in too much".

"Yeah, I know", Frisk says. They pick a grass leaf and start tearing it to small pieces.

"Dina wants a grilled tomato", Asriel says thoughtfully. "I guess we will eat some, later".

"Okay".

"..." There is a momentary pause, before another familiar voice muses: "Nancy has been sleeping more and more lately. You could say it is a disturbing occurence".

"Hi, Chara".

"Greetings, Frisk". Neither their voice nor their eyes (deep, royal red) are filled with warmth. Chara doesn't like humans too much; they have grown to somewhat tolerate six people they share a body with, and now they are growing to tolerate Frisk, but it is a lengthy process. Frisk didn't have a chance to meet them in person, because Chara died in their forties from some human illness a century before Frisk fell, but they think that maybe even if Chara had lived twice and thrice their age, it wouldn't have changed much.

"I got you chocolate". They dig into their pockets, pull out a bar, get rid of the wrapper and hold it up on their palms as if feeding a horse. "Ma don' know about it".

"How interesting". Chara sounds a bit surprised, as always; but excessive treats is one (and probably only) way to get their benevolence. They bend down and take the treat with soft lips, pretty much like a horse. "It has melted".

"Kept it in ma' pocket. It's hot".

"The weather has been quite warm lately", Chara says most fashionably, and Frisk rolls their eyes at the prospect of smalltalk.

"Yeah. Um - can I get Asriel back?"

"Perhaps, if he is feeling up to it", Chara replies, and it is a clear sign they don't mind Frisk that much nowadays; a year ago they would say something like 'Don't you have anything better to do than to pester him?' Frisk shrugs and waits, and in a few seconds Asriel shakes his head and looks down at them.

"Hi again. What do you want?"

Frisk doesn't answer. Instead, they stare at the sad remains of a grass leaf in their hands.

"You're a hero", they say finally. It isn't meant to be a question or an attempt at flattering - just a calm recognition of the fact.

Asriel bends his head to one side, and his wings shiver. "Am I?"

Frisk shrugs. "They say so".

"Oh".

The last pieces of the grass leaf are dropped down. "I think I like it. That I'm not a hero. If being hero is like this".

Asriel jerks. "...Oh. Well. Okay. Well, you never had to make a choice to be one, so".

"Yeah". Frisk never had to become a hero, a savior, an angel, a last soul; that role had already been filled. When they fell down (on a large, soft heap of hay), a couple of welcoming monsters greeted them and led safely all the way to New Home. They caught a glimpse of Dina in her last days: she was very old already and didn't see much, but her cold fingers managed to curl once around Frisk's small, warm palm. A little later, she was gone, and then the Star of the Underground took her soul like he did with all the others.

Frisk has heard this story countless times. Eight human children fell into the Underground. They came, they died, but they never left, because no one could leave from under the Barrier. The very first human kid, Chara, died so soon, and there was no plan, back then - when their sibling took their soul, it was a gesture of anguish and grief, not a step towards the monsters' liberation; but in the end, the first step it was. Then the second kid came, small and sickly, who passed away the youngest; then came the children who stayed till their heads went grey and their fingers shaky, but their souls never wavered. They all lived in New Home with the royal family, until they died as well, one by one, and the Star, the Hero, the Angel, the Savior took their souls, one by one. Frisk was never meant to save anyone. But they were the first human kid to ever leave the Underground alive. The rest of them...

The rest of them are right here, all together, trapped and tied and tangled in the giant prison of a monster's body.

Frisk toys with the hem of their shirt.

"I like not being a hero", they say again. "I don' think I can be, even. Too hard. Does it hurt?"

Asriel blinks with his fourteen eyes, and it looks like a glimpse of a rainbow.

"...No. Maybe just a little. I got used to it".

"When will you - let go?"

"What?.."

"You have to let go", Frisk says. It is something they heard a lot lately and had thought about long before. "Miss Deborah said so. She said all souls have to move on. To heaven. Heaven has a lot of nice things", they add with an authoritative air. "You have to let them go there".

"No". Asriel shakes his head. "No, no, Frisk. You don't - you don't understand. You are too small".

"Am not small. Know a lot of stuff", Frisk mumbles. "See a lot, too. See how Ma and Pa look at you. I think they want that too".

"No". The beast becomes agitated; its wings shiver uncontrollably, its eight voices combine into one. "No, that won't do. That won't do. You just imagine things. It is better for us. For them".

"Chara, tell 'im!"

One voice rises over the others. "Tell him what? I think keeping this form is the best course of action. First of all, it gives the monsterkind an ultimate weapon against the humans. What is an army to a god? Second, this way Asgore and Toriel do not age. All in all, I just do not agree with your logic".

Frisk huffs and stomps. Chara often acts as a voice of reason for Asriel, but sometimes they are even more delusional than he is.

"Cannot stay like this, forever", they say stubbornly and helplessly. "Cannot".

"No. No, no, no". One final shake of the mighty head. Eight voices like bells, fourteen wings flap above. "No one has to leave. No one has to die. Isn't it better, like this? Isn't it the happy ending?"

"Are you happy, Asriel?" Frisk asks suddenly, and their voice is small and sad.

The beast falls still and silent. It stares down; its eyes open and close, as if looking at each other, and it repeats "Am I happy?" in eight echoing, reverberating voices, all at once and one by one.

"Are you?"

"Yes", eight voices say. "We are happy".

"Am speaking to Asriel".

The beast falls silent.

"What's - your favorite color?" Frisk says. No one answers. "Used ta be pink, last year. You spoke a lot more, too. Before you spoke so much. Before you took Dina, and a bit after. Now you only talk about them. About your human souls. Like you are - fading. Going away". They look up and hold their hands up, and the beast, tamed, lowers its head enough for them to touch its chin. "I don' want you to go. I don' want you to go at all".

There is a minute's silence. Then the beast closes all its eyes, and one pair of them slowly blinks open. Their color is brilliant green.

"The kiddo is right", Tom says, deep and warm and kind. "It was a nice time. I was happy to see the sun once again. But it is time for us to move on. It is time for us to let you live your life".

Green eyes close, and another pair flies open, the one of radiant yellow. "That would only be fair", Dina says. "We had our shot and we lived our lives, and we can't say those lives were too bad. We have to pay that debt now".

A spark of cyan. "I want to join my mom and dad", Nancy whispers in a thin, sleepy voice. "They have been waiting for me for too long. I don't want to try their patience too much".

Dark blue eyes shine next. "True", Moby says solemnly. "I always tried to help people around me. Being selfish would mean not being true to myself. I cannot afford it".

"Hey, I'm not that much of a coward to cover behind a kid's back!" Terry cries out, and their eyes are a blast of orange. "I want to see what is out there, after all! I bet Betsy was really off about the afterlife".

"You are a cabbagehead, but you are right", Ana says, and their eyes glow deep purple. "We have reached the end. The only thing we can do is leave. I hope my sins will still be absolved..."

"NO!" Asriel screams, and all the eyes are squeezed shut. "No, no, no! We will stay together, we have to, no one has to die, no one has to die, no one, no one, I cannot lose you, cannot lose you all, cannot, cannot..."

A large light drop falls close to Frisk's feet. Another one gets their hands wet. They sigh and press themselves to the white soft fur and let Asriel cry - a broken, remorseful, unconsollable sound.

"Why, Tom", Asgore says, walking closer with a teapot in his hand. "Are you still upset over the dolphin?.."

***

The picnic goes just fine.

After the sun sets and the monsters are done packing, Asgore, Toriel and Frisk go to say goodbye to Asriel - he is too big to fit into any house, so he lives in the country in large comfy barn, and he isn't coming to the city with them. It has been a few years after the Barrier broke down, so they had plenty of time to make the barn as glamorous as possible.

"Goodbye, everyone", says Toriel after mentioning every one of her kids personally. "Be good, will you, my children? Sleep tight".

"You are always welcome in our house", Asgore adds as he does every time. "Day and night, whenever you would need us".

Seven voices echo "Bye, mom, dad", "Goodbye, Toriel and Asgore" and every variation of the two. Frisk waits a few steps aside, and they - as well as the seven pairs of watchful eyes - see the quick, uncomfortable look Asgore and Toriel share just a moment before parting with what became of their son.

"I still think what I said", Frisk whispers in the large white ear when the beast bends down to them. "An' I will never allow you to take my soul. Never".

"Oh", Asriel says in a desperate voice. "But maybe, later you will change your mind..."

"Never. Am determined". They press their palm to their chest, looking like maybe, in another time, in another story, they could very well be a hero. "Am never gonna change".

"...Don't", Asriel says. He nuzzles the top of their head. "Don't change. Please. Don't grow". He lets out a shivery sigh. "Everyone grows. Everyone has to change, and to age, and to die, and I don't understand why".

"Okay. I won't change", Frisk says as if this is the easiest promise to keep. They press their hands to the sides of his head. "Good night, Asriel".

"Good night, Frisk", Asriel says as they walk downhill, and their shadow stretches far, far across the quiet field.

***

It is night.

The beast sits alone (and yet never truly alone) on top of the hill. It should go, it knows that, but for some reason it doesn't want to.

The stars start appearing.

Did you want to see the stars, ask seven voices in the beast's head.

No one answers, but the beast perks up, listening.

Did you use to like stars? ask the voices. Did you dream of them? Did you call upon them? Did you ever want to touch them?

The beast grows restless. It stares up and digs its talons in the grass with a whimper.

Do you like the stars? Do you want to see them? Do you want to reach them? Do you want to be a star?

The beast's wings shiver and rise, as if it is preparing to jump, to fly, to touch the stars for real -but it doesn't. After a moment, the wings are still again, and the beast sits upright, watching the night sky.

You will have to let go one day, echo the voices quietly. You will have to, or it will hold you down forever. Or you will never be able to fly.

I don't want to fly, Asriel says. His voice is weak, weak, as if it is fading away - somewhere too far to call him anymore. I don't want to fly if that is what will keep you safe.

You are not meant to stay safe. You are meant to fall into the sky and lose yourself among the stardust. You are meant to risk. You are meant to live. You are meant to move on.

There is no answer. The beast sits there all night long, looking up at the stars.

"I am happy", it whispers, watching the constellations circle."I am happy. I am. I am".

The night is the darkest night ever.

#[ A CRACKED MEMENTO || MEME ]#if someone didn't catch #mettaton doesn't exist #alphys is a common scientist #gaster is alive #as well as the amalgamates #the core had never been built #undyne and papyrus never became friends actually #toriel is still with asgore and they do not grow old #asriel cannot truly 'grow up'

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grandschemed · 7 years

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All salty questions please

1. how salty are you feeling right now?

i had my cup of coffee and it’s 9:15 and i don’t have any work to do at work at the moment so u know?? i actually feel pretty good i’m chill it’s all good but please continue reading under the cut for more salty unpopular opinions by yours truly :*

2. what are your unpopular opinion(s) of the fandom you’re rping in?

3. what rp trends are you so over and can’t wait for it to die?

4. have you ever made a call out post or wanted to?

i don’t think i have?? i’ve never really had an issue with somebody to the point that i felt as if i needed to make a callout post which thank god??? i’m grateful i’ve ( for the most part ) had really positive experiences so far

as for callout culture itself ?? i have mixed feelings about it bc the majority of callout posts i’ve read seem kind of Harsh bc ur essentially damning this person from the roleplay community forever esp. bc i personally don’t think roleplaying is That Deep u know?? like theft is annoying and whatnot but idk if it’s something i’d call somebody out for personally - MAYBE I WOULDN’T MIND CALLOUT POSTS if anons didn’t go overboard telling said individual to die / kill themselves ???

HOWEVER i think there are instances in which callout posts are necessary esp. when calling out tumblr users for being a racist / pedophile / etc. THAT’S SUBJECTIVE AS HELL i know but pedophilia is GROSS AS FUCK and SO IS RACISM and god forbid i accidentally follow / write with any of those people because ew ew ew EW it’s good to know who to avoid in the community at the same time so ... Yeah i’ve got mixed feelings about callout posts

5. a ship everyone in the fandom you’re in loves, but you can’t stand?

since i’m a multimuse part of 1002 fandoms i’ll focus on haikyuu!! except i’m pretty sure i’m going to get my ass roasted alive but i really can’t stand i/waoi LMAO but that’s mostly out of bias and the fact that a lot of i/waoi shippers have ruined it for me by viciously hating on u/shijima as a character calling him a r/apist and saying that u/shioi is abusive when u/shijima has done literally nothing ever to abuse o/ikawa like what ?? if anything i/waoi is the abusive ship considering i/waizumi’s the one who physically hurts o/ikawa all the time LOL

shitty shippers aside idk i/waoi’s personally just not really my jam? to be honest all the super popular hq!! ships aren’t rly my jam - i don’t even really have good explanation for why i dislike i/waoi as much as i do from an unbiased point of view but i prefer them as friends ?? in all honesty ?? JUST MY 2 CENTS THO

6. have you ever sent something to one of those burn book blogs?

lol no i might be extra but i aint That Extra laughs in all seriousness i rly haven’t had any major problems w/ other roleplay blogs to the point that i was tempted to send something to a burn book blog

7. has someone made you unfollow/block them without a second thought because of a petty reason?

i’m trying to remember if there were any instances in which i did so for a petty reason but most of the time ??? i usually unfollow if somebody writes something Inherently Problematic / over-the-top purple prose / they don’t follow me back ... there was one time when i unfollowed somebody bc i asked them for their autoplay bc i rly liked the song and i just wanted to listen to it??? LMAO but they thought i was going to steal from them just bc we wrote the same muse and i was like Bro. I JUST LIKED UR AUTOPLAY what the hell i just wanted to listen to it 200 times in a row on youtube chill so i unfollowed them bc lmao how dare you assume i’d steal from somebody in the first place Get Over Yourself Susan

8. are you good at dealing with personal problems?

i’d say so?? again i usually don’t rly have roleplaying issues but problems aside from those i usually like to vent on twitter and i feel Much Better after that?? im a pretty chill person irl and shit doesn’t rly get to me so i can come off as kind of blunt / insensitive but i feel like i get over most stuff pretty quickly - there’s no reason to get Angry and make somebody suffer when somebody tries to fuck you over imo?? True Vengeance is aspiring to be happier / richer / more successful / fulfilled than that person will ever be - that’s my Fuck You to those people y’know?? 😂😂😂 life is so much better when i focus on me and figuring out what i can do to fulfill my emotional needs - i feel very lucky with what i have and all my friends and family who cherish + support me of course though !!

9. what’s your opinion on duplicates?

i may come off as a confident self-assured person but even i get shaken time to time y’know?? but for the most part i don’t rly mind duplicates?? in fact i like to try to befriend them to get over any anxiety i might have over duplicates and i think it’s a silly thing to be uncomfortable by duplicates personally bc again roleplaying rly ain’t that deep you guys - in fact you guys both like the same character so you guys chose to write the same character?? duplicates + i already have a connection in that sense!! also duplicate muse threads are SUPER COOL to write in my opinion bc it lets your muse face themselves and they can rly see themselves for who they really are which i think is Always Cool because i love writing threads in which i get to explore emotional depth with my muses ?? PLUS DUPLICATES ARE COOL bc it’s kind of interesting to see how other people interpret the same character you write bc everybody has different opinions

i know the anxiety might be there but i think the best advice my mom has ever given me is not to compare yourself to other people even if you think they’re better than you or something and i know that’s hard advice to follow for everybody but roleplaying is a hobby and it’s done for fun - there’s so many other things you can stress about in life so why let roleplaying be one of those things?? focus on yourself and focus on your muse and developing that muse with other people and people will want to come to you to write with them. preferences will always be a thing - it’s only natural but focus on having fun with your muse as opposed to worrying about other people!!

10. any fandom(s) you don’t want to rp in or crossover to?

11. are you for or not for purple prosing?

12. has someone in the rp community ever made you upset/cry?

i don’t think..... so?? upset maybe but not to the point of crying?? i mean again i’ve never really had a truly terrible experience but i did have an ex-writing partner who used to constantly guilt trip me until i finally broke it off with them because it was starting to affect my real life relationships and whatnot and i didn’t want to bear that burden anymore as much as i wanted to be their friend but i couldn’t singlehandedly bear all of their problems for them anymore because it wasn’t healthy for me nor was it good for them so i cut them out of my life for both of our sakes - i’ve had great times with this person but ultimately, i’m glad i did what i did and i’m proud of myself for being able to focus on my own emotional needs

13. ever told someone not to follow/rp with a particular person because something that happened to you in the past?

i ... can’t remember laughs I DON’T THINK SO??? people have told me not to write w/ certain people before when i go into new communities blind but for the most part i don’t think i’ve really had an overly terrible experience to the point that i felt i had to tell other people not to roleplay with / follow them ... i’ve been very blessed with a good experience so far!!

14. ever knew someone that everyone loves but you can’t stand?

i would say ‘can’t stand’ is kind of harsh but i dislike them because of a petty reason??? it’s fine tho bc they stay in their lane and i stay in mine - it’s all good imo. i for the most part have enough decency not to hate on other people’s ships but this person kept telling me about how much they dislike my ships to my face on a consistent basis which again PETTY and i know they weren’t in a good place at the time but shrugging emoji idk i just thought it was kind of rude ??

15. have you ever done something out of spite?

i do everything out of spite im jk but seriously if you tell me i can’t do smth i will only do said thing with 100% more effort out of sheer spite like THERE WAS SOMEBODY who told me i couldn’t ship a certain ship so i proceeded to flood my dash with 300% more ship content you’re welcome headass spite is a Great Motivator

me: i’m a chill person and im going to be the happiest person ever :)also me: u test me bitch and im coming for ur entire life

16. what would you say to the one who hurt you in the past?

i hope you are incandescently happier than you were before. i hope you are in a better place and i hope you are still writing with people who appreciate you and can give you the attention you deserve. i hope you are a better person today and i wish you nothing but the best in a life without me, but i do not miss you nor do i ever want you back in my life. i cherish the good times we had together, but we are better off without each other regardless of what you might still think and i hope you don’t. i hope you recognize what you did and i hope you are a wonderful person today.

17. what are your opinions when someone makes negative posts constantly on their rp blog?

if you make more negative posts than roleplay content i’m gonna unfollow you?? i understand you’re having a hard time with your life but honestly i followed you to write with you - it’s not that your well-being doesn’t matter to me but i write to have fun + destress and ultimately, roleplaying is about myself?? im not doing this for other people - im doing this for me. i don’t mind occasional negative posts ( ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE TAGGED !! ) but if you’re consistently complaining about how much you think you suck compared to everyone else or how you think nobody wants you around, then i’m going to unfollow you because i came to write with you because i thought you were COOL!! i know people just want to vent ( LORD KNOWS I VENT A LOT even if it’s about little stuff ) but consider making a twitter / a personal tumblr in which you can do so instead of your roleplay blog which is for roleplaying ??? idk that’s just my opinion but i try to keep my roleplaying blog strictly related to the content - i don’t even want to flood my blog with too many ooc asks bc u guys didn’t follow me to read my constant ooc posts ( even if i feel like i write a lot LMAO ) - u guys followed to write w me !!!!

18. do you hold grudges for long?

i say no but at the same time i’ve been really bitter towards an ex-best friend for three years now. NONE OF THESE GRUDGES ARE ROLEPLAY-RELATED but again my way of vengeance is to be way happier and more successful than her and never ever see her again because that’s the decision she made?? we used to be Super Close but then she got a boyfriend and her entire life revolved around her boyfriend and we never spent any more time together after that like ??? it’s clear who she chose over me so if she doesn’t want to make the effort to spend time with me then i see no effort to give her any thought. also the fact that she, as a white individual, complained to my other best friend behind my back that i’m apparently too “sensitive” about popular media. like really? wow, must be nice to have all the representation you could possibly ever ask for, karen. get the fuck out of here with that attitude /:

also SUPER PERSONAL but i’m salty about my kind-of-ex because he basically acted like he was really invested in me when he was still hung up on somebody else and i let myself be emotionally vulnerable around him until he confessed to me that he just wanted to be friends because he was still into his ex and then proceeded to neglect our friendship because he’d spend all of his time with his ex ( who he predictably got back together with + who turned out to be a really shitty selfish manipulative person who he broke up with anyway ) which was Fine i was already used to that anyway with SEE: ABOVE FRIEND but then after he broke up with her he’s tried to come back into my life on various occasion because he’s never had as Great of a Friend as me and frankly i can’t forgive him or myself for making myself invest any sense of emotion into him it makes me so angry to think i was actually upset because i actually cared a lot about him and he made me feel like i wasn’t good enough and how fucking dare he make me feel like that ever? i’m the Fucking Best and he deserves absolutely nothing from me he deserves perfect indifference and i hope he never ever feels fulfilled in his life i wish him a great and terrible lack of satisfaction for the rest of his miserable life xoxo i’m going to be SO MUCH HAPPIER THAN THAT ASSHOLE i’m years and years better off without him i hope he pines for my friendship for the rest of his life

19. wild card: ask the mun any type of salty asks.

20. if you’re feeling salty right now, this ask gives you a free reign to pour out your frustration.

i feel like question 18 let me do that so i’m good but also ??? fuck the gangsta. novel ??? for its HORRIBLE characterization of worick + nic’s relationship ??? the gangsta. novel treats their relationship as if nic is some dog/servant to worick which in itself is gross in concept because haha yay a poc character forcibly being subservient to a white character THAT’S COOL :)))))))) but also ??????? uh AUTHOR ARE WE READING THE SAME MANGA ?????

worick has never treated nic as a dog / servant even when they were children - worick even taught him how to read / write ??? worick and nic were e/o’s first and only friends for a long while ??? they’ve lived together for so many years - they canonly share shirts, they’re business partners, worick was genuinely hurt to see nic in so much pain. not only does worick NOT see nic as a dog / servant HE LOVES NIC ??? HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH THEIR RELATIONSHIP MEANS SO MUCH TO ME they’ve been through so much together and worick since he was 14 has literally supported the both of them via Really Horrible Means that i won’t get into - i’ll leave it up to your imagination but he split the profit he made from what he did with nic ??? there’s no way worick would’ve done that shit if he viewed nic as somebody beneath him esp. when survival was so difficult for two 14-year-old boys with no funds or resources they’ve survived together through thick and thin and there’s a special relationship they have and i love worick and nic okay I LOVE THEM SO MUCH EVEN IF THEY MAKE SHITTY DECISIONS AND WHATNOT nobody will ever convince me otherwise

also if you’ve made it to the end i commend you and thank you for reading my salty opinions / personal problems / issues :* i hope you all have a wonderful day :**

#vcliantis #ask #( *ooc )#( LMAO THANK U FOR INDULGING ME HOLY SHIT )#( i crossed out all the ones i answered already !!! )#( QUESTION 18 GOT RLY PERSONAL but for the most part im a Chill Content Person )#( ALSO WARNING BC THIS IS SUPER LONG UNDER THE CUT ?????????? )

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