#in too afraid to ask for anything

[roachemoji]

.

#bo posting #vent #im self isolating #but i think i want to be alone #but i also dont #but the kind of company i want i cant have #intrusive thoughts about ny relationships are getting overwhelmingly #in too afraid to ask for anything #feels like if i do ill make things worse somehow #like im being a bad or inconsiderate person #but not avoiding things also makes me bad and inconsiderate #that im being a coward and should just deal with whatever outcome. even ifvits negative and nothing changes or gets done #and if i upset people it is my fault. and avoiding it is only prolonging that. ill upset someone no matter what i do #i just dont feel safe being a person with needs and emotions that affect others #that feels like it sounds sarcastic but im anxious and sad nd i dont understand how to help myself or what to do #and thrn we come full circle to why i cant ask for help

[varpusvaras]

Continuing on this post because I said in the tags that it goes together with the Codywan desert husbands au. I just think it would be really funny if neither Cody or Rex (or anyone of the surviving batch) knew that the others are alive, other than Fox.

Fox helps with the Rebellion, being a contact and such, because he is not that much in the limelight (Bail and Breha are taking care of that part), and he, of course, goes by a codename. He did recognise Rex, like, immediately when he heard about things going on with other clones leaving the Empire and such. He couldn’t give himself away, because there is still a risk that him getting recognised could lead to Bail and Breha being implied to be part of the Rebellion. Fox keeps an eye out on Rex though, to make sure he’s okay.

Then Leia gets kidnapped, they reach out to Obi-Wan, and Fox learns that Cody is alive and well as well. But because of the whole thing surrounding the twins, he decides that it’s the best to stay away still.

This leads to, eventually, Luke meeting up with Leia’s family after the Death Star and coming back to Cody and Rex like “...do you guys have a brother?” “Multiple, how’s so?” “Well I mean Leia’s dad looks a lot like you, so I just thought...” “....I didn’t think we looked much like Bail Organa?” “No, not him, the other dad!” “What other dad?” “The one who looks like you, this tall, grey hair, kinda looks like wants to murder you?” “....I swear to GOD -”

Fox hears the scream to the other side of the base.

“Leia, sweetie, do a solid for your old man?” “Okay?” “Kill me.”

#Fox tries to get away by hiding behind Bail who tries to smile and play dumb but Cody and Rex are on a HUNT #yes Bail and Breha live in this one I'm not gonna make Fox a widow christ #he then tries to play the I'm paraplegic but it doesn't work either #rex yells that he is going to make fox double paraplegic and doesn't listen when told that it doesn't work that way #Obi-Wan looks at this and decides to not say anything #star wars #codywan #bail/breha/fox #Luke has no idea what's going on and at this point he's too afraid to ask #leia organa #bail organa #breha organa #commander fox #commander cody #captain rex #obi-wan kenobi #luke skywalker

[iistardust-and-sprinklesii]

💛 Head Over Heels 🩷

#some postgame kuzusouda for the soul <3 #some people only ever draw their favorite ships #meanwhile i’ve never drawn these two together before #because i’m always afraid i won’t do them justice 😭 #also #while i love the headcanon that kaz goes back to his natural hair color after the simulation #consider this: #now that there’s no one around to judge him #he can experiment with as many piercings haircuts and dyes as he wants #(don’t ask how he gets them maybe it’s the future foundation idk hajime can do anything so he helps lmao) #maybe he keeps it black later on maybe not #but he at least has the confidence to wear glasses again #(all of this is coming from me being a pathetic souda kinnie) #(he’s my mannequin for all the body modifications i’m too scared to get) #kuzusouda #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #goodbye despair #sdr2 #danganronpa fanart #fanart #fanart digital #digital art #art #drawing #my art

[partlyironic]

of course you hate taylor swift.

oh. my. god. help???????

#this has fully taken me out #i cant even be bothered to say anything back im afraid this is simply too delicious #helen speaks #god. hello. #anon ask #HELLO??????

[capn-twitchery]

Tell me some fun snippets from your brain (not winning at getting them out without invitation but I also want to Know)

OOOH thank you let me see what i've got,,,,here is a definitely incomplete list of incomplete concepts rattling around in my brain that i wanna expand on sometime

backstory stuff for both of them! red honey stuff for twitch i still gotta iron out the details for

& stuff for grace pre-neath which is very vague currently, and i FINALLY figured out why he's doing nemesis--but it's not for himself. it's for a dead guy that he murdered

also wanted to do an interactive story from grace's pov of the aftermath of the ship ending up in the neath & the search to find help, slowly losing crew along the way (tragically Or murderously) up to when twitch bails him out

evolution gripped me by the brain and i really wanna clink twitch against the second sacristan (as Enemies of some kind) but i gotta figure out where i'm going there. you can definitely get a bad ending AU out of it but i'm not sure what else!!

speaking of bad endings, sending grace to the grand geode to get Dawnpilled >:3c he ends up there in canon anyway (and gets out before he ends up as a sequencer) but both would be fun to explore

i have some wips for this already but some ideas for the SSea officers on twitch's crew, their dynamics, their history with twitch, etc etc. there has to be some drama there, i can't imagine murdering and resurrecting the navigator for purely selfish reasons does nothing to the crew dynamics

i also have about 100 unorganised snippets of dialogue or mini comics in my head,, most of them are just silly goofy things based on me trying to figure out wtf grace and twitch have going on

their first meeting(s), feelings about developing crushes (horrified, mostly), overdramatic arguments bc neither of them can verbalise their feelings if it kills them, twitch being a goddamn weirdo, but also cuter things. because i am nothing if not a hurt/comfort fan 😌

(i hope this was even semi understandable to anyone other than me!! i am notorious for never pinning my ideas down. thank you for asking me to ramble it is Always appreciated♥︎)

#i am also So willing to expand on anything if anybody wants to know #but i also hope i'll keep gaining courage to just post about it without prompting >:3 gotta take my own advice. no more npc syndromr #anyway thank you again for the ask ;;♥︎ #this is a very optimistic list of things to write for a guy who is too afraid to write or post writing #londonmusings #inquiries #hurdygurdywizard

[rollingaroundin-bread]

I absolutely adore My Sweet Ride because 50s outfits are everything to me so here’s some dancing because fun!!! :)

#canderemy #phinbella #phinabella #idk which one it is and at this point I’m too afraid to ask #candace flynn #jeremy johnson #phineas flynn #isabella garcia shapiro #phineas and ferb #my sweet ride #link to my old designs/me geeking out about 50s fashion in the tags #not tags- notes?? comments???? idk just look under ‘my sweet ride’ on my account if you’re interested #also if you want my dance reference look up ‘50s dancing styles drawing reference’ and you’ll find them :) #my art stuff #gonna do more of these eventually but I’m just trying to ease myself back into drawing yknow #I forgor if I wanted to talk about anything else so I’m just gonna assume I touched on everything! bye hope y’all are having a good day!!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Zeb Wells I'm in your walls because what the actual fuck is this shit???

Because it definitely isn't something Spiderman whose gone out of his way to visit fans dying of cancer or other medical conditions or tried to save a homeless girl who was a fan of him only to be too late, would say.

#zeb wells #spiderman #the amazing spiderman #like not only is this an insult to the kid who collects spiderman #but its also one to an issue where spiderman is with another kid with lekumia #as hes playing spiderman with the kid as it was the kids wish #but when playtime is over and the hospital and parents say its time to go to bed #the kid refuses and spiderman learns its because the kid is afraid he wont wake up #causing spiderman to ask if the kid has a coat and we see why as he takes the kid for a swing across the city #giving the kid more time of being like spiderman #then there's the time he visited a wounded kid in hospital who is also a spidey fan and looked up to spiderman #and said kid figures out his identity and the two talk before sadly the kid has a caradiac rest and peter goes to his funeral #where his parents ask peter to give the kids home-made comics to spiderman and peter promises #let alone the comic leah where he finds a homeless girl also a fan dying and does try to save her via getting her to the hospital #but its sadly too late as the doctors cant do anything #meaning all spiderman can do is lift his mask a little and give her a forehead kiss #and wish her sweet dreams as we see her in dreams with all the heroes she admires #like long tags here but thats how much this 'joke' angers me #let alone even if you removed all of peters history WHY THE HELL IS THIS A 'JOKE' SOMEONE LET PASS- #no character should be doing that wtf

[jovieinramshackle]

hi it’s gar LEL sorry but i gotta know whatcha got on inkyribbons, gimme them deets what’s the story

I CHUCKLED LIKE A MADMAN WHEN I SAW THIS BAHSHA HI GAR!!!

Don't be sorry you activated the happy chemicals in my brain with this

Inky Ribbons is basically me creating the angsty but sweet high school love story I'd daydream about back in middle school?? When I was like 13-14??

They're childhood friends who met at the shore of the ocean to play together, and then one day stopped sometime before middle school (the time Azul would start focusing on his studies/weight/magic) because Azul straight up stopped showing up.

The only thing lil Joves still had to remember him was a singular picture their mom had taken of the pair. Nothing but a small simple photo of the two kids, yet it held so much value and memories, that she kept it even now, carrying it with them wherever she goes.

Azul did come back tho, to the very same beach before going to NRC, feeling that maybe he could find his old friend again and show them how much he's changed

But when she never showed up like they used to, he realised how stupid he was to even think she'd be back, that it was dumb to assume they ever liked how he was back then. She probably didn't even remember him anymore, he thought.

Fast forward to NRC, Crowley intoduces an exchange student, that has come to study under special circumstances (he was paid well). Azul, though first tried to make himself look reliable by agreeing to specially assist the new exchange student, did not expect to be met with a familiar name.... then the sudden realization hit him, then he prayed to all the mighty great seven that she hadn't remembered or recognised him. He'd DIE if he had someone know how he was as a kid in NRC.

They became like....friendly acquaintances during the first year (aka friends but the use of the f-word is forbidden in NRC). She...knew it was him, or had like, a feeling, yknow. It didn't matter tho, they thought, since they re-made their relationship anyway (more accurately, built upon the one they had as kids).

She still has that picture, one Azul hadn't forgotten about but wished she had.

Skipping over the angst of book 3, for now, cause ummm.

They begin figuring shit out and actually TALK seriously for the first time after book 3, trying to understand their emotions and accept they've been crushing on each other like idiots for the past year and a half.

They get together around uhhh start of book 5 yeah, they clash and argue sometimes but they're both stubborn fucks and try their best for the other.

There's so much more to them but I can't make this insanely long LMAO

Take this doodle tho

#they roast each other a lot both as friends and as a couple tbh #they're besties first and couple second ofc they bully each other #For songs uhh pre-relationship they're very Jenny by Studio Kills basically #and From The Start by Laufey too #pining over each other like idiots because they're both afraid to confront the fact they're not only childhood friends #but ALSO head over heels for each other #the tweels had to watch this display of unrequited affection for over a year #flody wanted the two to get it over with already because he was getting bored #jade was just having fun watching it unfold in the background #twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuusona #twst yume #yumeship #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x yuu #ask me anything #jovie's art #jovie's writing #moot ask #inky ribbons

[thebirdandhersong]

am I simply............. to be an educational pit stop and temporarily necessary mental/emotional/spiritual support for the men I love for all time?? like yes the two boys I've loved in my life I DID love with all my heart however the first only started reading the Bible regularly and investing in his church community after I broke up with him (these were things I kept suggesting while we dated, but which he brushed off and didn't take seriously) and now it's looking like I am an emotional bookmark for the second. like I'm in between one page of his life and the next, and am helping him process and am teaching him how to deal with his emotions properly, but what I'm doing for him is literally all that I will be to him, and he likely won't remember me when I move out of the dorm and graduate.

#i DO love him i DO want to help him #however i do wonder why he's chosen to confide in me. why he asked me to keep him accountable for something #that by all rights was his responsibility and his own romantic business #he IS young and he IS kind of immature in this area and i get why he asked me. i really do. he was afraid and i'm his friend. #but anywayyyyy this has been a TIME #i am trying not to be like well why is it my job to better these men #not to give myself too much credit LOLLLLL it's not like i'm drastically shaping them in any way shape or form #it's just. i know how much attention and hidden care and worry and affection and consideration i put into all of this #i too would like to experience it the other way around #where i am not the only one who is paying attention to these things and wanting to support and care for and watch over the other person #not that i'm doing anything with the expectation of reciprocity. goodness no i'm not stupid enough to expect anything now #but it would be really nice. REALLY NICE. to not be giving and giving and giving #and then going back to my room and then crying my eyes out because it feels like it's either all for nothing or has no weight to the boy #the waiting room chapter

[ragnarokhound]

each time you talk about the werewolf fic in the tags of a post just know i'm eating up every new piece of lore

oh gosh i meant to answer this so long ago OTL I'm so glad you eat it up, ME TOO when I actually have the brain for it TuT i've been in a mini-slump for werewolf fic, but yesterday i wrote a new scene that I'd really like to fit into it and it's making me go OwO over that fic again lol

Jason finds him.

It’s not a full moon, so he’s not really sure what to expect. Tim hasn’t done anything to piss him off lately, or he can’t think of anything he’s done that could have pissed off Jason lately, so he doesn’t think Jason came with a bone to pick. Which is good, because Tim can’t— Tim doesn’t want to fight right now. He could, if he had to. But he doesn’t want to because the thought of dancing their usual dance to its usual conclusion makes him even more nauseous than he already is. 

And even if they don’t reach that finale, even if Jason wouldn’t push for it... with the state he’s in, him plus Jason plus fighting would send him skidding down a much deeper spiral. And that would really fucking suck right now. 

He can’t be that weak in front of him.

Sweat clings damp and cold to his upper lip, clammy and horrible. His fingers are buzzing, itchy and hot and slowly losing all delicate feeling; he tries to straighten them out but they tremble and shake no matter how he concentrates on them to stop it stop it stop stopstop— and his heart rate is already fast enough, it doesn’t need the help. So he closes them into fists and shoves them around himself, squeezing his eyes shut.

He knows Jason caught sight of him because he saw the flash of a red helmet pausing on the rooftop across the street, and Tim has the fleeting hope that by the time Jason gets here, he’ll be able to stand without the brick wall supporting him.

He nearly convinces himself that his breathing is under control when he flinches, eyes blinking open instinctively, as a pair of gloved fingers snap in front of his face.

“Hey,” Jason’s rough voice bites. “You finally with me, dumbass?”

#they're idiots but they're my idiots #unhealthy patterns of behavior are super hard to buck :') sorry tim i had to do it to ya #werewolf fic is about pining for the person you're already under #and being too afraid to change anything because what if you don't even get to have this wretched thing anymore #at least when he sneers at you he's looking at you #ANYWAY #jaytim #my writing #asked and answered #fucking finally #felinemotif

[brainrotdotorg]

.

i hate getting these random waves of just Shit Feeling its like just seeing a few bad posts in a row is enough to put me in a poor mood. trying to do some comms work in order to feel productive and accomplish some stuff/just take a few things off the mental burner but writing is weird and hard . i was feeling so good earlier today what happened????? im just so low all of a sudden. this has been happening more and more frequently and its making me worried. i really really really really hope this isnt depression coming back ive been free of that for years now but this feels a lot like how that felt, like kind of just listless and hopeless at the same time. top notch isnt exactly how ill describe how ive been if im sparing the gory details but to be honest this year hasn't been off to an extremely banger start.

im going out to a gay bar tonight, so hopefully i will be able to dance and party and have fun there but i dont think any of my friends want to come with me. i put out the invite to multiple different groups n none of them really said anything in response to my offer. im gonna make myself go either way so i can try and socialize or at least enjoy some music

#sorry im trying to post less venty stuff #maybe i should make a private sideblog for this stuff instead #i feel like im being guilt trippy when i talk about stuff like this. or like its a bid for attention. #like im trying to make people feel bad for me whenever i talk about being sad #and its like i cant win. #either i just dont say anything and no one knows or i do say something and i feel like im trying to make people coddle me #i have friends that i did ask on tumblr and im kind of . afraid theyll see this and feel like im vaguing them or something #im not vaguing you or blaming you or anything this is a me problem. this is a Me Thing #im not trying to persuade or guilt trip or make anyone concerned #im getting too in my own head about all of this .whatever i need to stop thinking this and go do something else. #im gonna go leave for the bar soon anyway i should go get ready #maybe dress up thatll be fun #i cant be depressed. i have things to do #delete later

[varpusvaras]

People on Alderaan generally like Fox. He has been a good support to the Queen and the Prince consort during the war, and hey, he has suffered enough as it is. Let’s be nice to him. He seems cool. Breha and Bail’s families like him well enough as well. They are internally a bit reserved, at first, but hey, again, Fox was a big support especially to Bail while on Coruscant, so he’s alright in their books. They will defend him if anyone says anything bad about him or clones in general, and that’s the most important thing.

But as nice as Alderaan is, there is always snobbish people, especially since it’s a rich Core World. So some Noble comes to talk to Fox, trying to maybe get a little rise out of him, since he is a Clone, and so, so much younger than the Queen and the Prince. They ask, pretending to be discreet about it, his age. He’s what, 25? So much younger than his partners -

Only for Fox to turn and look at them straight in the eye, completely serious, not giving anything away, and say, “I’m thirteen.”

Whatever the Noble was going to say next doesn’t come out. Fox stares, his expression not changing even a bit. Breha and Bail are trying their hardest not to lose it and become absolutely hysterical in the background.

#every single noble on alderaan after that is the and at this point I'm too afraid to ask-meme #bail and breha think it's funny because they have a weird sense of humor #clone wars #star wars #commander fox #bail organa #breha organa #bail/breha/fox #that meme is so finnish please go watch it it's called tonnin seteli #it's the most surreal piece of anything you will ever see and I wanna know how it is if you don't understand what they are saying

[spooksier]

could you share more about the time travel au in your head? u have the best ideas and character insights always.. would love to hear them if ur willing to share ^_^ the idea of s5 jon interacting with everyone during s3 era is so. augh. would soo be a mess

it would be SUCH A MESS!!

s3 and s5 are the season with 1. the most iconic characters present 2. the ones where jon goes THROUGH IT (importantly in two very different ways) (and 3. my favorites lol)

s3 jon is new to all of it and at all turns being tormented by people who are no longer people and is being told that he is becoming like them. and he doesn't even notice the changes until they happen. but he tells himself that he can avoid it, that he doesn't have to be a monster, he's not like them and he never will be.

s5 jon is literally the antichrist girl.... he's deeper in it than any other avatar prolly and he's fucking great at it. it's second fucking nature! he's the ceaseless watcher's special little boy! he's never more comfortable than he is out in the apocalypse and he hates it and he loves it and the people who made him so afraid are scared of him now. but he still wants to be good!!!!!! so!! bad!!!

they're like inverses of each other! the same person as prey and apex predator! they would want to rip each others throats out the whole time and would rather jump out a window than speak to each other.

#ask! #plus there's no fucking way paper statements would do anything for him post-mag 200 #and wouldn't that be fun to have to hide from your-staff-but-a-year-and-a-half-ago-and-also-you #i love writing out meta you never have to be afraid of asking me to #now i might actually write this #martin would be there too ofc #there's some drama in s3 vs s5 martin too

[watatsumiis]

i am NOT americanising my modern au fics. btw.

#these bitches drive on the LEFT side of the road. their driver seats are on the CORRECT side #we use CELSIUS i do NOT understand anything else and at this point i am too afraid to ask #(ive asked multiple times. it just never really clicks #i just made myself rly mad because i was writing a Car Interaction and was like “wait should i swap the interior around??” #spoiler alert im NOT doing that. RAH #general barks

[variousqueerthings]

*sighs in post mildly broke containment again* there's nothing wrong with reading willow as a lesbian, this is a piece of fiction, and the post I made took on a jokey tone for a reason and is ultimately more about underlying bi-erasure on tv than anything else kaybye ✌

#im watching btvs #jeepers creepers but btvs is bringing out the *taking it all very seriously in a very morally high-and-mighty kind of way* crowd #and i dont mean about shit that matters such as discussing racism or misogyny in fandom #just about whether you agree or dislike someone's read of a situation - move on my friend if you dont agree #i mean i could go on a rant about HOW the show portrayed willow-the-now-lesbian #(and while im at it why i hc buffy-the-apparent-heterosexual as bi too but nobody has disputed that part oddly enough) #but that would be an effort im truly not interested in expending on this day and possibly never and has been written before #im mostly just live-blogging and moving on #if im writing anything fanfic-wise it'll be about kendra and that'll be my full fandom contribution #ok but the ONE thing i'll mention is the fight willow has with tara which is one of the rare Ls for tara #where she basically admits that she's afraid this is a phase because willow has loved men/been with oz #and that's just an interesting fight from a meta perspective because the idea that bi women have to *choose a side* #and are consistently questioned and doubted by their lesbian partners #is a core element of biphobia within a gay relationship that many people can attest to #hell it's a big part of bisexual rep that is conscious of itself that at some point there's a plotline where the person is questioned #about their true loyalties and asked to take a side #btvs ofc is NOT conscious of this underlying tension and in fact i would argue is agreeing with tara that this is what needs to happen #for several other reasons as well #but literally people have WRITTEN about this im not saying anything bold and controversial here AND it doesnt take away #from lesbian willow reads to acknowledge the flawed approach of the show to her sexuality like come on #willow rosenberg

[birthdaycakeplate]

💖Overlord puts on their special occasion gender💕

Based on this ⬇️⬇️⬇️I swear there’s context honest

#tarn transformers #overlord transformers #overtarn #tarnlord #ive never finished anything before in my life and at this point i’m too afraid to ask how to #transformers #djd are in hell #tarn #djd #overlord #it’s all puppy love and homicide from here #Youtube #am sadly aware the video does not provide real context #but I love it so much