#in your own emotional life

[itspileofgoodthings]

I only half believe this because I truly believe that doing the right thing can be synonymous with doing the hardest and most painful thing but also——

good solid and true moral wisdom doesn’t hurt you past the point of ever healing or being able to function. if someone is recommending a course of action to you and it‘s tearing you apart to contemplate it or to follow it there’s probably something wrong with that advice.

#or let me put it this way. God’s wounds are pure wounds. they’re clean #they take courage to embrace and to face and they absolutely do hurt!!!!!!!!!!! #but they don’t fester and they don’t torture and they don’t unsettle #so if you’re trying to follow moral advice that does any of those things …… it probably ain’t if fam #there’s a lot of nuance to be added here re: developing your own conscience and doing a certain amount of strength training and refining #in your own emotional life #but like. yeah. #it was really important to me for a while —that concept of doing the hard thing can break your heart #and it still is!!!! but actually there is a martyr-ish blindness that thinks the path of virtue is paved with thorns #that unrelentingly tear you to pieces and it’s like …………. #1) grow up #2) the path IS thorny and narrow #the cross is real!!!!!!!!!!! #the cross also brings peace. #not as the world gives sure! #but !! it !!!!!! is !!!!!!!!!! peace !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #it is not torture #if you are constantly tormented by trying to live a certain way that is your body/soul trying to tell you something is wrong #your comfort is not the ultimate test of whether or not something is the right moral course of action!!! #but it is PART of discerning it #you need to calm down!!!!!!!!! smell some roses!!!!!!!!!! and take the most common sense advice you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you're stuck in a toxically morally evil situation then yeah. it will take a knife to set you free #but it will not continue to needle you forever! there will be peace even in the sharpest wound of it #there's either emotional self-indulgence where the pain is something you're holding ONTO or the situation causing it is bad!!! #anyway i feel i still need to distinguish between the kinds of suffering but i'm talking about the panicky never-ending festering kind #we ARE actually pretty good at figuring out if we're at peace underneath a wound. or at least we can if we investigate #me: i can't explain! no time for nuance! also me: tries to add nuance in the tags #no idea where this came from but here you go

[c-hrona]

Vash > Woowoo tits + mistletoe prompt 6?

:3c (requests closed)

#trigun #vashwood #mistletoe ask game #chronart #suggestive #i guess? #tfw your other coworkers are being rewarded in the other room #(see previous post) #so you feel comfortable enough to get frisky in the ceo office #but your idiot of a partner gets all teary for scars and shit from medical surgeries that saved your life #tsk vash get a grip and make wolfwood happy ffs (before he gets emotional too) #(i don't know what the fuck this is i'm tired forgive me ahahah) #(i only know that this is like a mix of post baseball au and my own ww lives au lmfao) #(anyway thank you for this ask anon i enjoyed drawing this so much eheheh)

[foundfamilywhump]

truly i don't care who thinks it's stupid or boring or "doesn't count" or can't be as intense as what they think of as "real whump" or whatever else, whump with comfort and recovery and caretaker(s) is always going to be my style of whump and i'm gonna have a blast vibing with people who also enjoy that

#gav gab #saw a couple posts that annoyed me yesterday lmao but truly this is where it's at #whump #i reblog a lot of types of posts here #but i'm so bored of people who think comfort existing makes something inherently less whumpy #like lmao okay have your preferences but stop being a dick about them #'whump with caretakers is so INFANTILIZING and STUPID and ONE DIMENSIONAL and BORING' what all of it? #all of it eh???? #every single thing? #are you perhaps having a kneejerk emotional reaction to a word being used as a broad shorthand #rather than having to type 'the person who is helping to treat the whumpee's wounds or is a supportive presence in their life' #'who also has their own life and problems and feelings and interests and isn't just a one-dimensional servitor for the whumpee' #every single time you want to make sure not to piss anyone off #and thus being mean to people for no reason? makes you think #anyways hurt/comfort and whump are not disparate genres and comfort and recovery doesn't make something not whump thanks! #and it doesn't make it inherently or presumptively less intense either #or less dark or less violent or less whatever #it just means it's not Purely and Entirely about suffering and nothing else #shrug emoji

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #685

Lampreys!

While some lampreys turn to a parasitic lifestyle as adults, drilling into the sides of bigger animals to feed on their flesh and blood, lamprey larvae, ammocoetes, are actually filter feeders! The lamprey larva life stage can last up to a decade, and they spend their time being half-buried in sandy substrate, consuming whatever tiny organic particles float to them. Ammocoetes' feeding rate is the slowest of any suspension-feeding animal, and due to this they require a habitat very rich in nutrients.

#i might as well use that information i researched about lampreys to make that one propaganda post to some good use! #and... woah. lampreys are so cool? they dont have eyes as larvae so when they metamorphose they literally gain the ability to see images. #imagine! youve gone your whole life only sensing light but then you metamorhose and you gain eyes and teeth and can start swimming #how does that feel? are they... surprised? i bet the ones that travel to saltwater experience things they never thought they would #of course im putting my own human emotions on them but... okay. just imagine how crazy it would be!? #their filter feeding apparatus becomes a thyroid gland too!!?!?? thats so insane!!!!! what wonderful animals i cant believe im only now - #learning of this!!!!! like their body transformation can tell us about vertebrate evolution!!!! #lamprey #fish #fishfact #fish facts #biology #zoology #fishblr

[selfhealingmoments]

#self improvement #self reflection #mental health #well-being #being yourself #being present #be yourself #be your own person #be your best self #be your best you #be your true self #love #loving life #self love #self help #self therapy #therapy #inspiration #inspiring #emotional support #motivation #manifestation #super power #power #self empowerment #self encouragement

[dumblr]

"You're so quiet" you want me to bark or something?

#quotes #feelings #emotions #thriller bark #life quotes #quiet #wise words #thoughtful #stupid questions #mind your own business #peace #dumblr

[taegularities]

remember to always set yourself free from things and people that build walls between you and your happiness. we as human beings get so attached to others that we don't realise when it's time to let go — so i hope you'll be able to prioritise yourself and understand that you're worth so much more than whatever's hurting you.

#bc i saw that post today and can't stop thinking about it #'id rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect' #a comment said sometimes we need to break free and not be our own emotional abusers and.. true

[parasaitz]

DON’T LOOK AT TAGS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS FOR EITHER GAME (Ace Attorney Dual Destinies or Ghost Trick)

#my favs mwah #luv them soooooooo much #the way both their bodies are shells but at the same time are their own #the way they both need a life of their own but yomiel is alright with an artificial one whereas phantom is stuck with artificial ones #the way they follow a similar path concerning their loss of self #however Yomiel’s is fueled by such intense emotion namely hatred #while phantom’s is fueled by… nothing. total apathy. #your honor i love them #ace attorney #aa5 #dual destinies #aa5 spoilers #bobby fulbright #the phantom ace attorney #aa phantom #phantom ace attorney #ghost trick phantom detective #ghost trick #yomiel ghost trick #yomiel #ghost trick yomiel #ghost trick spoilers #ghost trick phantom detective spoilers #dual destinies spoilers #ace attorney dual destinies

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I just had a whole actual married, mother of two adult woman be the first person older than about 21 to actually accept the fact that I don't want to get married and be willing to talk through what that means for me, instead of trying to convince me that I'll change my mind as I get older. I'm going to fucking cry

#I told her I'm lonely and why. and I told her that part of it is because I never want to get married #and so as the people I love move on to new seasons in their life I will always be left behind. because I don't ever want marriage #and she was just like ''okay. that just means you have to figure out what YOUR milestones are going to be #because that's going to look different than most of the people around you.'' #I've never had an adult woman. especially not a church one. just accept it before #it's always been ''ok but everyone feels that way at your age [a blatant lie. most of the people I knew in high school #got married RIGHT out of high school] you'll feel differently in a few years'' #or ''well don't shut yourself off from the possibilities!'' or ''oh but you'll meet The One'' #so it's like. earthshattering for someone like this to just accept that I know my own heart in it and help me figure out what that means #for the future #like. I'm going to cry. I'm literally in tears. #Lu rambles #sorry for swearing. it's for emphasis. I'm very emotional rn

[itsalwaysforyou]

just remembered a wip i had which was jay at uni meeting normal people and desperately trying to act cool and normal whilst internally screaming about being in a whole new place with all new people and not having his gang with him

#i only wrote one scene where jay meets one of his flatmates #and he’s trying to make casual normal conversation & asks her who her parents are #bc that has always mattered! on the isle or at auradon prep your parentage was also a Conversation Starter #and the girl is just like ……what. why do you want to know that #but she tells him and jay makes it into a joke like hehe oh yes i met them at a soirée once. amazing company #and the girl is like ok who are YOUR parents. knowing full well who he is #and jay says that his dad fosters puppies. and the girl says that sounds like a good life and he’s like ohhh just the BEST #i really. love exploring jay at uni i’ve written a couple of things i’ve never finished #like!!! for the first time for years he’s well and truly all alone!!!! #and at least the isle & ap had similarities. uni is just full of very normal people who don’t particularly give a shit #and jay who is like THE guy who cares about everything so much all the time and how people are reacting to him and he’s desperately trying+ #to be so cool and unbothered whilst trying not to revert to his isle tactics regarding people who may be threats #just. being somewhere so so new. with no one he knows. everyone else is so far away. and jay is missing his gang like he’d miss+ #his body parts. and it’s like. jays always buried his own emotions & hurt so he can better protect his gang #and now he has no gang to protect #and he is just laid absolutely bare. and also constantly stressing about not being there for the others #i just think he’d have an absolutely awful start to uni <3 #descendants #jay son of jafar

[orcelito]

Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.

Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.

I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...

On and on and on

You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.

That kind of thing.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️ #TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! #i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like #into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on. #some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it #read it more slowly and thoroughly. #bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself. #but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT #so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about. #and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own. #it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible. #even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them. #i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it. #realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies. #i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible. #(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol #so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences #but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general #so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)

[carefulfears]

And my girl Scully figured out that Diana and Phoebe were abusive to him and that’s why she was ready to disintegrate them with whenever they breathed Mulder’s air iktr. (Also to me that’s part of the reason Mulder was oblivious and defended them, people who are in abusive relationships are not always aware of it)

YUPP you’re literally dead right, anon, in my opinion. it really bugs me when people talk shit about mulder for “trusting” both phoebe and diana, as though that’s not like…the only thing he’s been taught to do.

i’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between scully’s reactions to phoebe vs. diana. when phoebe showed up, scully had only known mulder for a few weeks. and still she knew almost instantly that something wasn’t right.

i didn’t notice until i rewatched fire the way that she never leaves him alone with her. if mulder and phoebe are working on something, you can see scully. against the wall, peeking around the door, pacing in the hallway. he tells her that she’s “off the hook,” that he’s not going to “put her through this” with “phoebe’s little mind games,” and she takes it upon herself to investigate phoebe’s case herself, until she solves it and phoebe can go the fuck home.

girlbosses catch serial murderers singlehandedly to get their best friend’s shitty ex away from them.

when phoebe was around, scully is passive aggressive as hell. constantly hanging around and making little quips and mocking her accent.

when diana shows up? five years later? she’s just aggressive.

she said nah, we aren’t doing this again 😭😭

(one of my favorite scully moments is when she snaps “and not just because i think that woman is a….well, you know what i think that woman is” and mulder is just like “no you hide your feelings sooo well” lmfao)

i really do think meeting phoebe so early in their partnership informs a lot about the way scully reacts to his exposure and relationship to other people throughout the series. she really doesn’t trust a soul around him.

i always think of this line from madness by kittenscully (a post-syzygy fic, addressing the detective white incident):

“A surge of righteous indignation at the notion makes her sit up straighter, and she bites her tongue to avoid a very unpleasant comment from slipping out. As always, she thinks of Phoebe, of his wide, trusting eyes.”

diana was scary levels of manipulative and violating. but diana loved mulder, scully knew that and used that to plead with her in the end.

phoebe didn’t care about anything but playing with fire. she got off on scaring him, crossed state lines just to fuck with his head and hurt him, just like in their relationship a decade earlier. mulder knew this, he knew from the start what she was doing and what she wanted, and he helped her anyway. he praised her anyway. he connected with her and invested in her anyway.

y’all know i’m always thinking about the script note about phoebe’s coldness “eliciting some old need in him to have her affection.”

by the time diana came back around, scully had sat on the floor of a hotel and watched phoebe smile and shake hands with bureaucrats while mulder couldn’t breathe.

scully had stood in the next room when his questions to his mother got him little more than a slap to the face.

it’s different with diana because there’s a lot more history and connection there, and because at that point there is heartbreak and jealousy on scully’s side (when phoebe was in town, she hung around in doorways. when diana reaches for mulder’s hand, she turns around and holds back tears in the car.)

it’s a difficult position for both of them. he doesn’t know how to do anything but appease and trust and be loyal, to help whoever asks. he doesn’t care if it hurts him, he’s been groomed his whole life for that, to feel like he deserves it.

it makes scully crazy. he’s her best friend. she can’t believe anyone would look at that kind of softhearted hope and want to exploit it or crush it, rather than look up to it, follow it, nurture it.

and it hurts!! it hurts to watch him fall back into these traps, and especially with diana, it hurts to feel that your input and relationship doesn’t matter enough to have influence. to not be listened to, to feel like you’re not being chosen.

she doesn’t know that he went to search diana’s apartment after she told him not to trust her. she just heard, “i know her. you don’t. scully, you’re reaching.” and watched him leave.

it’s just this perfect crossroads of each of their most vulnerable spots. scully wants to protect him, always, and she also wants to be chosen.

mulder has to stand by his allegiances, to seek ‘affection’ in cruelty, to play his role in the larger scheme. this is what CSM knew when he recruited diana into the conspiracy, and he knows because he “created” it.

you can’t judge either of them, they’re both following their natures, and furthering the narrative they were chosen for.

(until scully stands in front of diana and begs, “i just want you to think…stand there in front of me, look me in the eye”…and breaks the whole thing down.)

#TLDR children weaned on poison etc etc #LOVE WON IN THE END!! always. scully’s ferocious devotion won in the end #asks #scully baby i hope you got your bubble baths that year #it’s hard. because he Does listen to her and internalize her input #but he also Needs to not lose these last connections and these last people who ‘cared’ about him and to please them and to be what they want #i mean he was like 18 when he met phoebe. ‘she was brilliant. i got in over my head.’ #he and diana were together (married) (to Me) for like 5 years #during one of the most vulnerable periods of his life. and his transition into discovering the files and doing therapy and leaving the VCU #Sigh #i know scully would zip him safely in her pocket if she could but like she also feels so insecure and disregarded when diana is around #so it’s like both her Constant protectiveness and her own intimate emotional response. it’s just a lot. #i love season 6 #‘bum a cigarette agent fowley?’ #👌👌👌 #Diana

[mywordfulcanvas]

being a writer is so complicated. like which part of me should i write about without contradicting the others?

#writing #feelings #writers on tumblr #writblr #youre your own muse #poems #thoughts #literature #english #aesthetics #personal #emotions #complexity of being a writer #quotes #life quotes

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

okay firstly I AM IN LOVE with miles’s new single, but secondly oh my GOD i have literally never encountered anyone who’s so able to capture the profound and timeless heartbreak/elation/serenity emotional rollercoaster of a twin-flame kind of connection with someone

#i’m not saying who that twin flame is #(because although i have my own suspicions they’re just that - i obviously don’t know anything about the reality of his personal life) #but god #‘rest your soul on me/rest your bones on me/take your toll on me’ #i feel this so deep in my bones #thank you miles for your ability to capture such huge emotions and turn them into such beautiful and relatable songs #this is going straight to the top of my list of favourite songs of his #💖 #miles kane #the wonder #lulu posts

[pokimoko]

Listening to instrumentals from the silly doo-wee-ooo show is actually something that can be so painful.

#doctor who #doctor who music #murray gold #segun akinola #musings about music #this is specifically about 10's theme in vale decem. the long song in 11's regen piece. and clara's theme in face the raven / clara's diner #i get psychic damage everytime i simply hear the use of the motifs elsewhere because of the tragic associations those sadder renditions hav #obviously these songs aren't the only examples in doctor who but they are by far the most emotionally devastating ones for me personally #and obviously it isn't just leitmotifs either. basically hearing any piece that played during a sad scene gets to me. #how are you supposed to explain to your coworkers that you're tearing up because of instrumental sound association? #'yeah sorry these violins and humming sounds summoned vivid images of my favourite character dying/leaving and it made me sad' #love that composers can just straight up pavlov bell your emotions by getting you to associate a melody with a sad scene #an addition to this is doctor who instrumentals that make me nostalgic because I associate them with my own past #like 'this is gallifrey: our childhood. our home'. that song was one of my alarms for a good long while back when i was 15ish #so it kinda transports me back to that time in my life whenever i hear it. music really is its own little kind of time travel #i am very much looking forward to the continuing psychological damage murray gold will inflict upon me in the new season #and to have previously uplifting character leitmotifs used against me and forever be contaminated with sad feelings. love to see it #(also: not a instrumental but damn 'the stowaway' has no right being as good as it is. who knew a christmas sea shanty could sound so great #apologies for this probably niche-ish post (is it niche to know ost title's by heart? asking for friend). just feeling things about music

[ox1-lovesick]

hi

#life update nobody asked for lol #I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies #I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow #still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow) #is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr #I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa #downgrading to a flip phone actually #I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER) #I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most #delulu is infact not the solulu #daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey #it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me #if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit #Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand #As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you #The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends #Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that #Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again #But I just wanted to share what's been going on #And I miss you guys a lot #I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart #I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme #Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person #But I hope you all are doing GREAT #Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy #You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything #xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥