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omertasmoon · 2 days

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A drop of ink, a blot spread across time

(Vintage au)

Plot summary: It was 1950s when pen pals were popular and almost everyone had one! You used to have a handful of them but the camaraderie between you and them faded as you got older. One day, you found a newspaper on your late great-grandpa's shelves in his bedroom. Excitedly, you flipped the papers to get to a specific page and bingo! There was a section for the addresses of people who are looking for a pen-friend much like yourself. After randomly choosing, you sent out your first letter and he replied back! However, you noticed something weird in the photo he sent...

Crds to @drinkthesky for the divider!

Men I deem fit: Alhaitham, Albedo, Imbibitor Lunae/Dan Heng, Dr Ratio, Diluc, Zhongli, Venti, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Sunday.

(Fck alphabetical order, I can't do that sh*t)

The amber glow of the afternoon sun bathed the room as the open windows situated at the opposite of the door allowed sunlight streams to enter the room as its panes quivered in hushed symphony due to the beckoning of the hot air. If you moved closer to the windows, you could see dust particles illuminated by the natural light. Even after the passing of your great-grandfather, the bookish scent of his cologne still lingers in his bedroom along with his possessions which were either coated with a thin layer of dust or covered with a big white cloth.

The wooden floor creaked beneath you as you walked towards his bookshelves in hopes of finding pieces of classical literature and maybe learn a thing or two from it. You delicately traced your index finger through the long vertical rows of books, leaving a trail of dust on the pads of your digit. As you peruse through countless novels only to be unsatisfied until you saw a newspaper at the edge of the shelf, untouched by the dust that plagues the rest.

'How strange...' you thought to yourself as you rubbed your thumb and index finger against the surface of the paper to determine its texture: it was sandy and rough, definitely ancient but the format was similar to the ones your dad reads in the morning so it must be a freshly produced newspaper, albeit printed in a different quality of paper.

Or so you thought...

The newspapers in your hands gave you a glimmer of hope; it was an opportunity to find a pen friend! You used to have a few ones but stopped writing to them either because they used too much colloquial words or they had at least twenty spelling mistakes in each sentence which gave you a migraine whilst trying to make out if your correspondent was writing in a foreign language or not. But this time, maybe you could hit the jackpot and find an actually nice pen-pal. Excitedly, you flipped through the papers and stopped at the specific page which had a list of names along with their addresses under the bold heading:

'Pen-friends! Make new friends around the world!'

Your eyes scanned across the list of names, allowing your intuition to guess the personality of that stranger based on their names alone. But then, a specific name caught your eye- it was uncommon which was the main reason it stood out from the rest of the names which probably were taken from 'Top 10 best names for children of this year'. You took a closer look of the address below that person's name and turned out, both of you lived in the same area! A surge of enthusiasm rippled throughout your body and immediately tucked the newspaper into the inside pocket of your coat.

~~~~~♡~~~~~♡~~~~~♡~~~~~

The curtains of your living room slowly opened as you peeked your head out and pressed your face against the glass. A day had passed after you had sent your very first letter and heck, you even went a mile far by sending a photograph of your two cats to make a memorable first impression. Then- just like you had anticipated- the postman on his bike suddenly came into view and halted his vehicle by your mail-box and placed a letter inside. You clutched the folds of the curtains unable to contain the happiness blossoming inside you. As soon as the postman disappeared out of your eyesight, you rushed outside to take the letter out of the mailbox. The first thing that greeted your eyes was the immaculate handwriting and the scent emitted from the paper.

'How sweet of him...' you thought as you continued reading the letter in your mind. The paragraphs were neatly organized and made of outdated vocabulary that you wouldn't understand had you not taken an interest in classic literature. You could tell this man practiced utmost eloquence just by his letter alone. Overall, he wrote a few things about himself and asked you about your hobbies, what you like and blablabla.

But then, something struck within you concerning with the photograph he sent and notes written behind it:

"The construction of the mall is making my ears bleed. I cannot stand the constant sounds of the drills and other sounds coming from it. I daresay, you must be experiencing the same disturbance as we are only one street apart from each other. Perhaps we should plan to meet up after the mall opens. What do you think of it?"

The more you stared at the photograph and the note, the more confused you became. The picture showed the mall with the same as the one down the street but it was still in construction according to the photo. 'Huh?' A frown stretched across your face. That specific mall had been going on more nearly a century now to the point that the community had been urging the government to shut it down in order to build a more innovative one. Didn't it finish construction like a hundred years ago? But his photo told a whole new different story.

Suspicions rose inside of you as a spiral of questions revolved around your head- you found it difficult to process it. Not missing a beat, you hurried to your room to find that newspaper you took from your late great-grandfather's shelf. You mumbled in frustration when you couldn't find it; you swore you left it either on the desk or on the bed. Finally, you found it under the bed and oh my...

The letter was published a century back in time which meant that...

"T-The man I just sent a letter...was from the past...." The newspaper dropped from your hands. Your letter had ripped its way out of the fabric of time and went into the mailbox of a man who lived in the same area as you but different time period. He was in the past, you were in the future.

Still, a part of you felt curious about the interaction between two people of different dimensions. So you decided to reply back to his letter. What could go wrong...right?

To people who are more knowledgeable in time travel or parallel universes, pls don't attack me, I know what I wrote may or may not make sense for some of you but pls don't mind me 😭😭😭

And also, not proofread because I wrote this around midnight and I'm literally on the verge of dozing off- (Ik I have such healthy sleep cycles and I have to wake up at 6 am yayyy!! Sleep-deprived-students-core😘🙆🤗)

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taesanluv3r · 2 days

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kim leehan x reader

established relationship, some suggestive comments (? ish), leehan argues with a little girl, very very cuteness. lowercase intended, excuse any spelling mistakes / grammatical errors.

wc: 2,248

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"you're gonna love it!"

yn smiles at her boyfriend's happy expression, leehan's eyes had turned into little lines, a grin on his face as he went on and on about this neighbourhood fair he had just been dying to take her to. every year, for one whole month during the summer time, the park just down the street magically transforms into some sort of a theme park. the boy had been going there ever since he were a small child, and after dating for the past five or so months, he had been counting down the days until summer had finally arrived onto his doorstep, just so he could share a little bit of his childhood with her.

and that's how they got here. standing with arms intertwined as they waited for heart-shaped their cotton candy to be twirled onto its stick, their stomachs still turning as a result of the thrilling ride they had just gotten off of. "thank you so much" yn says, retrieving the sugary treat into her hands, pulling out a chunk of the soft candy before turning slightly to pass it over into her boyfriend's opened mouth. "ugh" she winced in disgust when his tongue accidentally came in contact with tips of her fingers. the boy chuckles, pressing a chaste kiss against her cheek. "ferris wheel?" he asked, a single eyebrow cocked up as he did so, head tilted over to the large carnival ride. she nods excitedly, "ferris wheel!"

the pair waits in line once again, finishing up the last off their short-lived treat before tossing it into the large silver trashcan to their left. "you know..." yn starts, staring up at the moving wheel that was beginning to slow down to a stop. "i've always wanted to make-out on a ferris wheel" her eyes wander over to him as she ends her sentence, batting her eyelashes almost annoyingly. leehan rolls his eyes before pulling her into his arms, "i feel like you always want to make-out in unconventional places" the couple shares another light laugh, separating from each other as the guard welcomed them onto one of the worryingly squeaky carts of the fair attraction.

"well that was fun" the boy says, wiping the bits of her lip gloss that stained against the grin on his lips. "yeah, we should definitely do that again" his girlfriend responds, slightly out of breath. the young couple get off the ride, holding hands as they waltzed around the grounds of the park once again. "we should play some games now...i need a new plushie for my collection!" yn's statement makes him giggle, "you are such a child" but his actions contradict his words, pulling the girl slightly as he wordlessly makes his way to the row of playing games on the other side of the fair. "which one do you want to play, love?" she ponders for a moment, eyes moving to scan through each and every one of the stands available. yn was about to speak, finally choosing a game, but she is interrupted by his gasp. before she could even ask him what was wrong, the girl found herself being tugged away and over to a light blue stand in the corner.

"where are we going?" her question answers itself when she is met with a large, light-up sign above her head. a sign that read:

fisherman's paradise! catch some fish, win a prize!

a sea themed game. how fitting for her fish-loving boyfriend. the pair watched as two players went against each other. the whole purpose of the game was to use the magnetic hooks to grab as many robotic fish as possible from the small plastic pool in the middle. whoever got the most fish by the end of the 2 minute mark, was named winner and got to choose a sea-themed toy from the prize wall. yn could see the excited smile that begun to grow on her boyfriend's face, his eyes were shimmering like he had just seen his wildest dreams come true. at the same time, leehan looked focused, as if he were calculating every move he would have to make to win later when it was his turn. finally, after what felt like the longest two minutes in the world, the boy was up. a prideful laugh escaped his lips at the sight of his opponent; a little girl, adorned in a thick, red wig and the worst excuse for a mermaid costume he had ever seen. his smile was washed away however when the child in front of him stuck her little tongue out, stained blue from the artificial colouring of the ice cone she probably just had. "you're going down, loser!" her voice was high-pitched and squeaky, as expected from someone that tiny. yn can't help but laugh from behind him, watching in amusement as her boyfriend shared petty trash-talk with a girl who's height didn't even make it past his long legs.

"the only one going down is you, little girl"

the tired looking teenager who ran the booth waved a flag, signalling that their two minutes had begun. yn watched in disbelief as leehan deprived his tiny opponent of all her robotic fish, a nasty smirk on his face as he had fun doing so. the little girl looked horrified, her eyebrows furrowing as the older boy took her victory far far away. ding! their time was up, leehan lifting his fists up in the air at his obvious win. he looked over at his girlfriend happily before pulling her into a hug, she chuckled lightly as she pressed a kiss onto his jaw. now he had to pick his prize, contemplating all too seriously at his choices. "i want the jellyfish" yn whispers, pointing at the angry looking plush toy that seemed to be calling her name. but the boy just scoffs, "what do you mean you want the jellyfish. it's my prize, and i'll take that one" the girl's mouth drops open, a sigh escaping from it as she watches her boyfriend gleefully accept the catfish shaped doll, his favourite, the corydoras. "and i'm the child" yn complains, rolling her eyes at a very joyful leehan, their arms intertwining again as they began to walk away from the game stand.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" an all too familiarly squeaky voice stops them in their tracks, the couple twirling around to be met with none other than the little girl from earlier. "you, mister! you're a cheater! that prize was supposed to be mine!" her small face was squished into an angry expression, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips puckered out into a dramatic pout. leehan snorts, bending down slightly to be nearer to her. "i won fair and square! so don't be such a sore loser" yn could not believe her ears or her eyes, there was no way her boyfriend who she loved and adored so much was seriously arguing with a five year old! over a fish game! the child's angry face turns into that of a smug look, a spritz of her own spit coming out as she spoke up once again. "you probably don't even like fish as much as me" the girl spat, her eyes closing shut and her tiny head tilting upwards. the tall boy's girlfriend slaps herself in the head, why would she say that? doesn't she know the consequences of her actions? where were her parents at this moment? god, help us all. yn tries to pull her boyfriend away before he could cause any more of a scene, but he just shrugs her arm off, a knowing and cocky look painted over his complexion as he looks the poor child right in the eyes.

"well what's your favourite fish then? since you know so much about them" oh god. the five year old lifts her chubby arms in the air, "obviously flounder from the little mermaid!" her miniature eyes roll to the back of her head, pointing down at her outfit so as to say 'duh!'. leehan is about to burst into tears of laughter, "well what kind of fish is he then?" all of a sudden the chatty child falls silent, and the boy has just about the meanest look on his face. "he's actually, a pterophyllum scalare, also known as an angelfish" in the moment the boy looked like he just won a lottery, smirking proudly with his chest puffed out in glory. his girlfriend let's out another loud sigh, making a mental note to never let her boyfriend around children ever again.

the atmosphere changes however, when a whimper escapes the little girl's lips. the couples' eyes darting straight towards her as she begins to cry real tears. "leehan, you made the poor kid cry!" yn exclaims, finally smacking his upside his head. "why is she crying! i was just telling her a simple fish fact!" the boy yells back in terror, "she's a child?!" amidst the young pair's argument, the red wig wearing girl's wailing gets louder, her cries going from incoherent mumbles to begging for her mommy. the couple is in panic mode, not really understanding what they should do at a situation like this, and not really wanting to get in trouble with the kid's parents. "what do we do?" leehan asks, his hands pressed against the top of his head. "i don't know babe, just give her the doll so she stops crying!" yn responds, her tone getting louder to overpower the sound of the wailing child. "but i won it! fair and square!" the girl rolls her eyes at the stupid frown played against her boyfriend's lips, showing no remorse as she forcefully pulled the fish-shaped plushie out of his hands.

"here, stop crying and take this, okay?" yn's tone became hushed as she bent down to level with the tearful girl, juxtaposing the way she shouted at her partner just a second ago. "don't mind him, he's just a big ol' meanie, right? so stop crying, okay?" the kid takes the doll in her tiny hands, sniffling as her tears came to an end. "mkay" the kid mumbles and yn can't help but smile softly. "i love your mermaid outfit, by the way. you look just like ariel, so pretty" now the little girl was grinning ear to ear, seemingly beginning to forget about the tantrum she just threw. "you're pretty too, lady. but...why are you dating such an asshole?" the wind is knocked out of the girl, and her boyfriend who stood listening closely, at the child's harsh choice of vocabulary. yn stops herself from laughing out loud, sighing as she patted a hand through the smaller one's red wig. "i promise he isn't always like that...he's just...very passionate about sea life, that's all" leehan catches himself smiling unconsciously as he watched his girl make soft conversation with his tiny enemy, but his thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a female voice calling out for their child, it was her mother.

"oh! there you are! you can't just run off like that! oh, i'm so sorry if she troubled you guys" an older, plump woman spoke, her eyes and nose the spitting image of the menacing girl they were just talking to. yn catches a glimpse of her partner's smirk, "oh yeah, she actually just called me an assho-ow!" his words are cut short when his girlfriend's foot is pressed harshly against his toes. "no problem, she wasn't bothering us at all!" yn's tone is sweet, a forceful smile on her lips like she weren't physically hurting the boy beside her right now. "look mommy, the pretty lady gave me a fishy!" the kid cheers as her mother picks her up from the ground. "yeah my fish-ow! stop stepping on my foot!" yn glares at the guy, if looks could kill he'd be six feet under the ground right now. the older lady and her child shoots the couple a perplexed look before thanking them quickly and leaving. the girl smiles, waving goodbye to the costume wearing child as they slowly disappeared into the distance.

"remind me to never let you play games with children ever again!" yn exclaims as they walk towards the exit of the fair. leehan just chuckles, shooting her a cheeky grin as he did so. "but you were kind of hot back there though..." he trails off, stretching an arm out to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her in. "hm?" she asked confused, her cheeks coming in contact with his t-shirt as she looked up at his face. "like you looked so cute comforting that kid...i can't lie it's giving me like extreme baby fever, right now" once again his girlfriend glares at him in disbelief, "after all of that? like hell i'm letting you near my children!" he laughs, partially agreeing with what she was saying. it was silent for a moment, her eyes focused on their surroundings, watching as families, friends and couples alike ran around the park that was starting to get darker. leehan, too, is distracted by the orange tint that began to paint the sky. and then he speaks again, ruining their moment of pure bliss. "can we at least pretend to make a baby" yn rolls her eyes, hiding her blush-y face against his chest as she slaps a hand softly against his arm.

"oh my god leehan, if you're horny just say so!"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

leave the poor kid alone leehan TT idrk what i was going for when i started writing this but i think its so cute nonetheless 🤓 also not leehan getting #𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒚 at the end 🙄 reblogs n feedbacks highly appreciated!! tysm for reading <3

#kona's work ♡#boynextdoor #boynextdoor drabbles #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor x reader #leehan #leehan x reader #boynextdoor leehan #bnd x reader #bnd leehan #kim leehan #kim donghyun

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paisleypens · 3 days

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tee hee

I LOVE paisley prattles!!!!

JUST RAMBLES ABOUT SPENCER CONEPTS AND HIM BEING SO SEXY!!!!

OMG

how do you think spencer agnew is to make out with!? i need to knowwwwww

GUYS ITS TIME TO PRATTLE ( thank you for the reassurance!!) CAUSE OMG I NEED TO TALK

ok obv WARNING: kissing, macking, the whole thang you already know

also psa: I am not interested in writing smut but this is not how I would describe that, this isnt going to be descriptive like THAT so yeah

also lets all be SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS GIF?!

~~~

⋆ FIRST OFF, he is so sweet with the approach of everything he does. he just holds you so gently like you’ll crack if he is too harsh.

⋆ he also takes his time, in the pace of your relationship and in a kiss. if it doesn’t feel right to kiss you HE WONT. he wants it to be perfect and he trusts his gut enough to know. but once he wants to kiss you he would start slowly and let you choose when to make it more aggressive.

⋆ everything is passionate. not rough but every action has purpose and (because he took his time) knows how every move is making you feel (AHHHH IM SQUEALING)

⋆ he would def do the classic hands on cheeks face hold, but i don’t think he moves his hands that often. it would be like a casual up and down the sides of your torso and maybe the small of your back but i don’t think he is too grabby unless you initiate that. though actually he pulls you in from the waist when they’re resting like that, as a way to deepen the kiss more gently

⋆ i think he would prefer if you moved your hands around though, through his hair and tracing along his tattoos. the comfort of that silent assurance to make sure that both of you are enjoying it in the same way is for sure a need

⋆ if you guys were in a very established relationship i think you guys would have like full conversations in the middle of making out lmao. like it started as a bit but now its like

“where did you want to go for dinner?”

“im feeling chinese”

and you’re literally devouring each other idk

⋆ and yk that little smirk he always has going on AND FEELING IT WHILE OMG I CANT

⋆ ALSO THE STUBBLE your opinion DEFINITELY matters to him sooo

if you like it:

⋆ it would be well maintained and soft (ok gifting beard cream!)

⋆ going back to the smirk it would be extra accentuated by the beard and you could feel the little tickle every time

if you don’t:

⋆ he def wouldn’t get rid of it, its what he enjoys and it also prob makes him feel more mature

⋆ but he would do more of the fred darts goatee situation (idk why thats what came to mind) or just a stubble

⋆ he would focus more on the other things whether to distract you or emphasize solely his lips or tongue instead

~~~

OKAY I THINK THATS IT THANK YOU ALL FOR READING OMG I NEED TO BE KISSED SOMEONE PLSSS

also tomorrow a fic including some of this WILL BE DROPPING!!

#smosh #smosh x reader #spencer agnew #spencer agnew x reader #paisleypens #paisleyprattles

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soybento · 2 days

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So. Here's the Thing. The drama SEVERELY changed parts of the MDZS novel. Enough that Wei Wuxian's character AND as a result (off the top of my head), Jin Guangyao, Madam Yu, Jiang Cheng and even Su She's character. This is going to be a whole thesis so here we go.

Let's start with one of the largest topics of debate in the fandom, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, and specifically Wei Wuxian's position in the Jiang Clan and the heat about Jiang Cheng's actions. In the novel, Yu Furen doesn't like him for her husband's preference of Wei Wuxian over Jiang Cheng (this is the same in the drama) and his supposed previous love interest, Wei Wuxian's mother (debated, ambiguous). Added to this is Wei Wuxian's ambiguous position in the clan. Jiang Fengmian never specifies what his rank/position is (as other people have pointed out) and as a result, all the Jiang Clan members kind of...have their own relationship w/ him courtesy of their own projections. For example, Yanli's relationship with Wei Wuxian is the simplest, mostly because she's the daughter, not a strong cultivator and is destined to eventually leave the Jiang Clan. She chooses him as her brother. For everybody else? It's a lot more complicated. Yu Furen (understandably if not justifiably) does not want to treat Wei Wuxian as her own son (aforementioned reasons). She sees him as a threat to her son's right of inheritance and also, doesn't trust the origin of his birth. This is definitely Jiang Fengmian's fault since he took in his servant's son but also not exactly since it's complicated by their close friendship and his unreciprocated feelings for Cangse Sanren. Consequently, Yu Ziyuan projects her insecurities not only on Wei Wuxian but also Jiang Cheng (we know this) and constantly compares the two of them. She wants her son to be better.

Jiang Cheng is a product of his parents and sister's relationship w/ Wei Wuxian but what I think the drama changes is the fact that Jiang Cheng cares for Wei Wuxian as a *martial brother* and a future right hand man. He gets the brother stuff because his sister has loved Wei Wuxian as her didi, he gets the firm ideas of Wei Wuxian's future position in the Jiang Clan from his mother (and also the lack of denial from Jiang Fengmian himself). He doesn't see Wei Wuxian as a brother *only*. Instead, he partially projects duty and destiny onto him because of how they were raised. This is why I don't think it was wrong of him to refuse to take in the Wen Remnants. He had a duty to the Jiang Clan that he chose to prioritize to keep himself out of the political tension that Wei Wuxian was in the center of. He didn't see it as disowning a brother but as a strategic withdrawal from the situation for his sect. Say what you will about him but I don't believe that he's unjustified in wanting to ensure the safety of his Sect (especially as clan leader). Growing up, Jiang Cheng did get a lot of conflicting opinions on his own worth. He fell short in almost all his relationships because he would approach Wei Wuxian w/ the anger and competitiveness his mother expected of him only to disappoint his sister who expected them to be siblings in the truest sense of the word. He disappointed his mother because he *did* see Wei Wuxian as more than just his fellow disciple, not just a future servant. He didn't disappoint his father but his father never made his affection for Jiang Cheng clear and this lack of communication led him to draw his own conclusions on Jiang Fengmian's preferences.

My issue with the drama is that much of this is not clearly defined or explained. He is villainized for his eventual estrangement with Wei Wuxian because we're operating from the assumption that his feelings for Wei Wuxian *are* of the sibling kind and not the messy duty vs martial brother type. His position is understandable after reading more of the novel. Plus all the changes about the siege led by him (which I'll talk abt) and Nightless City and the Qiongqi Pathway Ambush and him rejecting the Wen Remnants. And the ending at Guanyin Temple makes sense. Wei Wuxian is released from his commitments to the Jiang Clan and that is the kindest thing Jiang Cheng could do for him (again, others have pointed this out, I'm simply reiterating it). Because Wei Wuxian *does* care for Jiang Cheng as a brother but his feelings for him are also complicated by duty and obligation to the Jiang Clan and dealing w/ the complicated myriad of expectations from the Jiang family. That and less of him being a brother is what leads Jiang Cheng to think Wei Wuxian betrayed him. It's like he betrayed his duty to the Jiang Clan and not just their brotherly commitments.

Now coming to the second point, it's the drama's portrayal of Wei Wuxian as a martyr. And he can be but he's so much more complex than that. To start with, I believe his character would not have endeared himself to me as much if I hadn't started with the drama but now, I enjoy the complexity of the novel Wei Wuxian more. For example, novel villains Su She and Jin Guangyao are a lot more complex than portrayed in the drama. Because the drama kind of made them scapegoats (ironic as they portray Wei Wuxian that way) for Wei Wuxian's continued innocence. The Ambush at the Qiongqi Path is so much more complex than in the drama. Jin Guangyao *does* set it up and Su She curses Jin Zixun out of spite and Wei Wuxian *is* wrongfully cornered. But he also loses control of Wen Ning and accidentally kills Jin Zixuan all because he loses control of his emotions. I won't comment on whether this is right or wrong because Wei Wuxian was cornered. He was fighting his way out of an ambush. He made mistakes like escalating the situation by antagonizing Jin Zixun, not believing Jin Zixuan wanted to help him, and not calling off Wen Ning when asked to by Jin Zixuan (because he believed he'd be shot by the archers) and accusing Jin Zixuan of working w/ Jin Zixun to ambush him. By taking away these mistakes in the drama, it takes away the complexity of the situation and what the choices say about him. Jin Guangyao did not intend for Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian's confrontation to end the way it did. He wanted to put Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun against each other in the novel (correct me if I'm wrong tho). He isn't innocent of course but his motivations make more sense than him just killing Wei Wuxian on behalf of his father with no deeper mechanations at play.

Secondly, the battle at the Nightless City. In the drama (and possibly in the novel but this isn't confirmed) he commits suicide but the timeline is important. He does lose control of his puppets in Nightless City and making Jin Guangyao the scapegoat for his loss of control *again* simplifies his character as someone that can do no wrong and is hopelessly plotted against by the rest of the world. The puppet that hurts Yanli (not fatally) is one that Wei Wuxian has lost control of and not one that's been controlled by Guangyao or Xue Yang or Su She. She sacrifices herself to save him and he *then* slaughters the rest. After he finds that Wen Ning and Wen Qing have died and they plan on leading a siege on the rest of the Wens, he raises the corpses and loses control and accidentally hurts Yanli who asks him to stop. He tries, she dies, and then he slaughters a bunch of people.

And in the novel, there are a few months between the Nightless City Massacre and his death. He defends the Wens from the siege led by Jiang Cheng (and *this* is the siege that he leads which makes MUCH more sense than the siege he supposedly led in Nightless City as shown in the drama) and when they die and he realizes he's going to lose, he kills himself (probably out of guilt?).

The implications of this are major. His sister's death doesn't push him into suicide, it pushes him into war (and Wen Qing and Wen Ning's death). It's the wtf this is a lost cause I'm fucked and everyone I wanted to protect is dead that eventually pushes him into death.

Looking at this from Jiang Cheng's perspective things make a lot more sense. He is under the (almost rightful?) assumption that Wei Wuxian lost control and killed Jin Zixuan (also Jin Zixun but lol fuck that guy). He is also not clear on the details of the ambush and while we don't know this, is given the same explanation for the ambush as everyone else. That Wei Wuxian cursed Jin Zixun. And Wei Wuxian does say that if he killed Jin Zixun he'd do it a thousand times better (worse). Following this, Jiang Cheng's sister is hurt and while her actual death is a choice that she makes, he blames Wei Wuxian for it.

I won't deny that Jiang Cheng is morally ambiguous but so is Wei Wuxian and so is Jin Guangyao and Su She. The drama is almost a softer, nicer version of the novel where the protagonist is the hero and not just the person whose perspective we're getting. But in doing so, Su She, Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng's character are changed to fit the narrative.

What the drama also doesn't get across is that demonic cultivation isn't a good idea!!! Lan Qiren, as much as I dislike him for his rules or whatever, did have a point. It goes against the natural order of things, there's a reason why demonic cultivation should not be taught and why Wei Wuxian never took in disciples. It would result in cultivators like Xue Yang. When drama says that Jiang Cheng was hunting and killing off demonic cultivators because he hated Wei Wuxian, it takes away from the fact that demonic cultivation does actually harm the body and soul! It does in fact require human sacrifices! Just because Wei Wuxian didn't use any does not mean that the others won't! Jiang Cheng is sure to have had a personal motivation but fanon misses that those accounts have been of the crowd and the cultivation world, not from Jiang Cheng directly. His killing of the demonic cultivators was likely not as simple as fuck that guy, I hate everyone like him.

Finally, Yanli. Surprised? I have a lot of thoughts on her though so I'm gonna have to keep going. She's at the centre of the storm and also severely sidelined. She's a motif and she's a character fighting to make choices that the world does not allow women and especially women that aren't cultivators. I think thinking of the story from *her* perspective (novel or canon) makes my appreciation for her even deeper. She is, despite Wei Wuxian's perception of her, a flawed character. But she's flawed in the same way everyone else is. She grows up in a volatile family and her mother doesn't share her sentiments but she chooses to love Wei Wuxian as a brother. Although she means well, this brings about a conflict of interest for Jiang Cheng. She's perceived as this all forgiving character by Wei Wuxian and it makes sense, we're looking at his POV *but* it takes away from the fact that she consciously chooses to be that way. I think her character brings about some very interesting ideas in society about womanhood and specifically motherhood. Her role in Wei Wuxian's life is more motherly than it is sisterly and thus, her sacrifices are almost expected. What comes to mind is that her feelings on things really aren't considered. Remember when Jiang Cheng lost his golden core? Wei Wuxian comes in and he sits across from her and he tells her that this is all his fault. She's dealing w/ the loss of her parents, her brother's sudden injury and her worry over Wei Wuxian. But she's gotta tell him gently that no, that's not true. In reality, this isn't ABOUT Wei wuxian. His continued insistence that things are his fault does bring about a degree of self centeredness because it takes away from where his attention should be. After he kills her husband, his focus is on his own guilt over his actions but less on her pain (I'm not condemning him, I'm just pointing it out). Being a martyr (as depicted in the drama not the novel as much) is incredibly selfless but also incredibly selfish. When the audience doesn't see this, Jiang Yanli's actions almost seem expected. Of course she's gotta see him for the person that he is and know that he didn't mean it etc. But these expectations take away from the very real choices she makes to continue to forgive and love and forgive. She does this with Jin Zixuan and although from Wei Wuxian's perspective, he sees it as she's too nice and kind and forgiving, it takes away from the fact that she *CHOOSES* to forgive him and it doesn't just happen as a part of her character profile. Being kind is a choice, not a personality trait. Being nice and agreeable and open etc can be personality. but altruism? That shit is where the credit is due.

The narrative does minimize her (I'm not sure if this is intentional) by making her an accessory to Wei Wuxian's development. She's sidelined during important moments like the war, the rebuilding of Lotus Pier, even the times that their parents die. She steps in when Wei Wuxian or Jiang Cheng need help or a guiding hand. She steps away when the story has to focus on other conflict. She could've easily turned against Wei Wuxian for killing her husband but she chooses to see him again and later, die for him. Jiang Cheng uses her in his own way, and so does Wei Wuxian. I do not particularly mean this as a criticism but I think it's worth noting that Jiang Yanli was a traditionally feminine character whose strength was a very conscious choice on her part and is not more or less than if she had chosen to go into war w/ the rest of them. If she didn't hold back on so many things like not protesting her engagement, playing a supporting role and staying in the background for much of the narrative until the death of her husband pushes her into the spotlight, waiting for her brothers to get back from war, waiting for Wei Wuxian to tell her what's wrong when he comes to Lotus Pier and fights w/ Jiang Cheng and seems to, supposedly, not want to be there, the story would've been different. Idk different how but definitely different. She chooses not to take up space and thus, narrative attention. She doesn't push, and she doesn't demand, and she defends quietly. I think that's why traditionally feminine characters are kind of a double edged sword when perceived. Are these qualities inherent? If yes, then they're taken for granted and...minimized. Are they chosen? If yes, then it begs the question of what a traditionally feminine character is at all. Sacrifice, standing back to let other people shine, being quiet and letting other people's actions (even those that you love) control what happens in your life. I cannot imagine that these are traits that someone is simply born with and thus, give Jiang Yanli credit because she chose to be that way!!

Ending this with, I don't believe there's a wrong medium with better or worse portrayals of the characters. I think I like the drama for some of its kinder aspects and the novel for its complexity. I just think it's important to note that Wei Wuxian is more than a martyr, Jiang Cheng more than his brother (he's in his own right a sect leader and plays an important role outside of his relation to Wei Wuxian) and Jiang Yanli more than a mother figure. And we love Lan Wangji ofc, sorry he didn't get a mention. Give more thought to characters like Jin Guangyao and Su She (yes Ik ik) and Xue Yang as portrayed in the novel. There's a theme here of classism that I don't think is appreciated enough.

The very point of this post is not to condemn or acquit any of the characters. It's just to point out how none of them are black and white.

That's it for now and I hope I didn't forget/mistake any of the details in the drama or novel!!

#mo dao zu shi #the untamed #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #jin guangyao #analysis #novel vs drama #i apologise for the sheer length of this post #i swear it wasn't on purpose

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zenkindoflove · 1 day

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Dear Lucien, Dear Elain: Reveal and Q&A

Before reading this post, make sure you go and read the final update to Dear Lucien, Dear Elain. Under the cut will not only be the reveal of who wrote who, but also a Q&A inspired by some of your questions of the writing process that myself and @crazy-ache took while writing this collaborative fic.

In our poll, you all were evenly split, 50-50, on who you thought wrote Elain and Lucien. Which really tickled us.

Now, to reveal (which maybe you already know if you read the fic lol)....

art by @works-of-heart (thank you so much for putting this together last minute!!!)

So, are you surprised? Validated on your hunch?

We also asked you all what some of your questions were related to our writing process since this was both a collaborative fic and a very unique style (epistolary). It was definitely experimental for us. But we had so much fun writing it. It was really us stretching some of our creative, writing chops. And the epistolary style really was a great medium for writing a collaborative fic together.

Q&A with crazy-ache and zenkindoflove

How did you choose which character to write.

Crazy-ache: I chose to write for Lucien because I felt most comfortable in his head! I had dived deep into his psyche and motivations in a few of my recent works. I also had this vision in my head that Lucien is a very poetic, romantic writer given his rakish and silvertongue ways. My roots in writing are in poetry and I tend to be a flowery, verbose writer, so I felt like I could naturally tap into Lucien’s style. I believe I asked to be Lucien first and had a good inkling that Zenkindoflove had the stronger grasp on Elain’s character. She went above and beyond in giving Elain’s character and development the justice it deserves.

Zenkindoflove: I was very relieved when Crazy-ache declared she wanted to write for Lucien because as soon as we came up with this idea, I knew I wanted to write Elain's letters. I think she provided the level of poetry and devotion that was necessary to convey in Lucien's letters. For me, I have always been an introspective writer. I like to be inside character's heads and have them actively work through their feelings. And for Elain, this exercise felt like it was an exploration into her working through her feelings for Lucien. Where I think Lucien has always been clear on his feelings for Elain. Or at least he's been sitting with them longer than Elain. I also relate a lot to Elain (and probably project a lot too though I argue that especially in her case where we haven't gotten her POV, authentic writing requires it a bit). I've always felt more comfortable in my other fics writing from Elain's POV.

General process/approach to writing

Zenkindoflove: We decided that the easiest way to write the fic would be to pick a character, stick to that character, and take a ‘yes and…’ approach to writing much like in improv or role playing. We very much treated it like we were the characters and writing each other letters. I would get so giddy when I saw I had mail because it felt like Lucien was actually writing me 😂. After we wrote the first two letters, we came up with a general plot that we wanted to follow once we knew the set up was working. We didn't know how many letters that would entail but we knew that we wanted to try to stay as canon compliant as possible and end on Nessian's mating ceremony where that would be the first time they would talk in person. For topics that were discussed, that was almost entirely unprompted and generally came from us answering each other's letters as the characters. So the emotional development was fairly organic throughout the whole process.

Crazy-ache: Something I want our readers to know is how organic this entire process was for us. What you read from each character is also mostly what we read as well. So we experience the same feelings of giddiness, sadness, disappointment, etc as you did. We just happened to have an idea of where the story was going, but not the words that would take us there on the journey. We truly got inside our respective character’s heads and created this story for you. It’s been one of the most fun, passionate writing exercises I’ve ever participated in, and I hope that rings true in your reading.

Curious to know if either of you had veto power for when the other wrote something you didn’t like, or how you handled any differing opinions (if you even had any) on what the characters might say.

Zenkindoflove: For the most part we didn't have many disagreements. A lot of our conversations consisted of us brainstorming or working through the logic of certain situations. The hardest situation to work through was what we did for Starfall. We knew we wanted to have this angsty moment where Elain stands up Lucien because of a vision, but we were working through the logic of how she could accomplish this without Lucien feeling her panic through the bond and coming to find her. That consisted of a lot of back and forths and crazy-ache wanted to make the situation even angstier by having Azriel actually be involved (only flying her away) and it contributing to Lucien's feelings of paranoia that there was someone else! That was the one time I said absolutely not because I didn't want us to go too hard because it was already a gut punch. Also I had to write the letter explaining everything! 😂

Crazy-ache: Yes Zenkindoflove had veto power for that situation and the next day I was like what was I thinking 😂 But it truly was a collaborative experience where we built off each other’s ideas. When it came to the letters, we had no idea what the other would write (other than an overarching plot we had initially agreed upon), but we respected each other’s creative decisions and just went with it!

I wonder if either of you had a line that the other’s assigned character just had to say. Did you talk about this prior?

Zenkindoflove: Mostly this did not happen except for setting up some plot stuff. Like, hey did you get your Starfall invitation? That kind of stuff. We sometimes gave each other a few edits after reading. Such as if there was something that felt not properly addressed (cause let's be real, these letters got long at a certain point) that we knew would be good for setting up the next letter. Oh, in the beginning, we did have a really hard time thinking of the questions they would ask each other and we often referenced those lists on the internet of like 100 questions to ask on a first date. Those kinds of things hahaha.

Crazy-ache: Agreed, there was nothing we requested or assigned the other character to say in their letter. Everything we wrote was 100% true reaction to what the other person put in the letter. But like Zenkindoflove said, we would give each other small bits of feedback. Like hey, I think it’s little early to bring that up. Or, I think we need more on X. In fact, the line a lot of people seem to really like from Lucien wouldn’t exist if it hadn’t been for Zenkindoflove pushing me for more on one letter. I remember being like ugh you’re right you’re right….and I sat back down and worked on it some more. And I’m so glad she did because that’s when I came up with this line and paragraph:

"Perhaps the Mother knew we would not be ready when our paths first crossed—our hearts, our minds, our circumstances—and so she gave us this immediate, unbreakable connection to ensure we never lost each other along the way."

Zenkindoflove: Specifically I remember Crazy-ache holding me back from Elain bringing up the bond too soon which was 100% correct and I was getting too eager. And I pushed her in the end for Lucien to say “love" more since Elain had been using it after her breakdown. Which I think shows a lot of balance in how we approached emotional development.

Favorite letter you wrote?

Zenkindoflove: My favorite was definitely the last letter. It was challenging because I essentially had to write it as Elain telling Lucien events he already knew because he experienced them too. I wanted people reading to get the information they needed to know to visualize how the night went but make it feel like an authentic letter Elain would write. I also got to lean fully into Elain being as romantic as possible about her feelings for Lucien.

Crazy-ache: I am going to cheat and say 2 letters. The majority of my letters were written in one sitting, really emulating what it would be like for Lucien to sit down and read Elain’s letter and then just write his reaction immediately. But the two letters I sat on for a while….1) THE Starfall letter where we learned Elain stood him up and 2) the letter where he responds to her explanation for why. The starfall letter I was just so excited to write because I knew it would catch everyone in surprise. And the response was also exciting because I really, really enjoyed exploring what the bond meant to Lucien.

Most challenging letter you wrote?

Zenkindoflove: It was definitely the letter after Elain stood Lucien up and she responded to his very angry curt letter. Crazy-ache sent me his letter and I was immediately overwhelmed even though I knew it was coming. I literally could not stand not answering his letter immediately. I just was so upset haha. And then as I wrote Elain’s letter, I had a complete meltdown in messages to Crazy-ache where I cursed SJM for the SF bonus chapter and making me have to explain the almost kiss. I think I said to her, “I feel like I cheated on Lucien but i didn’t!!!!!” Like, I was a mess you guys. Which is probably why it ended up the way it did - this stream of consciousness. I was imagining Elain just utterly broken, crying at her desk, writing the letter frantically, desperate for Lucien and hoping he would still write to her. With her sad little corsage on her wrist.

Crazy-ache: The hardest one for me was Chapter 6 after Elain reveals Lucien had misunderstood her discomfort to the bond and she sorta calls him out on that. I really tried to get into his head the best I could for these letters--and I imagine hearing Elain say she always had desired him even when it was confusing and complicated would be overwhelming to read. Like the world just shifted for him because that wasn’t what he imagined…and after you have accepted a certain amount of love and affection, it can be even harder to accept more when it is presented to you. I was balancing all these things when writing his response and that would took me the longest to put together.

Favorite line the other person wrote?

Zenkindoflove: Crazy-ache is SO poetic in her writing. Especially as Lucien. Choosing one is incredibly hard. I will choose a few but know that I don’t even know if these are really my favorite favorite because so many of her lines were just BEAUTIFUL.

“I take all matters and concerns regarding your trip very seriously. I will gladly accompany you across the courts, where you can trust I will be unhurried, diligent, and thorough in the pursuit of your greatest pleasures. I simply could not live knowing you were in the slightest disappointed, and will not rest until I know you are quite satisfied.” - the innuendo!!!

“I have done my best to be loyal, dutiful, and honorable. Only to turn around and discover my actions have only proceeded to write me as a villain in their narratives for those very attempts at doing what is right. There are reminders of my arrogance and recklessness every time I look in the mirror. I have certainly paid the price. You deserve to know these facets of me as well, most especially the bitter, pathetic parts of me.” - such a good summary of Lucien’s character and how he sees himself

“To put it bluntly, yes, your mere existence hurt me. Because my soul aches for you in ways I had never known it could hurt. What was painful and difficult was just how badly I wanted to know you beyond all reason and that terrified me. You, my lady, still terrify me.” - PAIN

“Please, I beg of you, to not mourn any fate of mine. I have survived worse possibilities thus far, and that was before you were mine. Before you were my reason to survive, to fight, to live and breathe. There is nothing that can keep me from you.” - THE ROMANCE

“Elain, if the bond is the sun, then you are the warmth of its light.”

“Fire may live inside my veins, but it is your actions and words that have sparked a flame to rival the sun, where I burn and burn and burn for all of you.”

“Perhaps the Mother knew we would not be ready when our paths first crossed—our hearts, our minds, our circumstances—and so she gave us this immediate, unbreakable connection to ensure we never lost each other along the way. When I told you I wanted an anchor, someone to ground me, the truth is I wanted it to be you.”

All of these - I cry!

Crazy-ache’s favorites:

“I suppose, I will have to trust in your wealth of experience and your steady hand to guide me through these desires. I would welcome a long, thorough exploration, as my previous travels ended too soon for my liking. So, I think it would please me to spend sufficient time, discovering new sights and experiences, and some clever bouts of spontaneity, to the point that I am tired and sated.” - NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH

“You call yourself disfigured, as if your scar could take away from the handsome features of your face or the ethereal quality of your essence. If anything, your scar is a story of a life of loss and daring, adding to the mystery and allure of your draw. I wanted to know immediately who marked you so I could cut out their eye as well. Because when I looked at your face for the first time, I knew you were mine.” - PLEASEE i will never forget elain wanting to cut a bitch

“And the truth, Lucien, is that you have always eclipsed every desire I've had. Since we met, every second that I am awake, and even hours that I am asleep, are touched by you.”

“I refuse to waste another moment that I have not knowing you. Not just knowing you through your words but knowing the way you smile when you tell a joke or the way your arms feel wrapped around me. I want to live in the moment and see what promise this little passenger in my chest has assured me.”

“So Lucien, to put it plainly, I both wanted your distance and I wanted you near.”

“I think we must be forever changed. It’s not only that the distance is gone, but we are different. I think there is no avoiding it, when soulmates finally find each other through the darkness.” - THIS IS MY FAVORITE AHHHHH

#elucien #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #elain x lucien #pro elucien #elucien fanfiction #elucien supremacy #dear lucien dear elain #crazykindoflove #This was so fun to put together

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pedroscouts · 1 day

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Say hello to our Scout of the Week: @sp00kymulderr!

*Who is your favorite Pedro boy? I resisted Dieter Bravo for a long time but safe to say that man really wormed his way into my heart over the last year or so. Now I run @dieterbravobrainrotclub and spend basically every single day thinking about him 😅 I just think he’s really neat; I love how Pedro created this dynamic character despite how little we actually get of him in The Bubble. Plus, he’s a very fun character to put into all sorts of weird and wonderful situations.

*If you were going to make a playlist for that Pedro boy, what is a song that would be on it? Ooh this is a tough one, I’ve never made a character playlist before but the first song that comes to mind for Dieter would be Guilty Pleasure by Chappell Roan, it’s a song where the very first time I heard it it gave me immediate ideas for a Dieter fic.

*Do you have a favorite fic you’ve read? What do you like about it? I have so many. There are so many incredibly talented people in this fandom it’s practically impossible to choose just one but since you asked, I absolutely adore Into the Beat of the Night by @perotovar. To be honest I’m very much not a Frankie person but Erin created such a special, well-crafted and caring love story for Frankie that’s unlike anything else I’ve read. I adore the original character, River, and it’s very special for me to be able to read non-binary characters in fanfic since they are so few and far between. I think about this series constantly, it’s been very healing for me in a way, and I’m always amazed by Erin’s talent.

*Purple Lakers shirt or yellow Lakers shirt? They’re both iconic but purple because I can never get over how good Pedro looks in purple!

*Would you drink six shots of espresso over ice? Absolutely yes. The more coffee the better. The stronger the coffee the better. I’m a coffee freak and I’m not sure I can function without it to be honest.

*Describe yourself with 5 adjectives. Shy, silly, excitable, nerdy, optimistic

Thank you so much for answering the questions, Gideon! Guys, definitely visit @sp00kymulderr - their masterlist is full of Pedro boys and a few other treats as well, and check out @dieterbravobrainrotclub, too!

#pedro scouts #pedro scouts of tumblr #pedro pascal fandom #scout of the week

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mulloey · 23 hours

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dom!ateez headcanons ♡

warnings: bdsm dynamics & terms, heavy kinks at times, dom!ateez and sub!reader, member-specific warnings under the cut. skip those if you wanna be surprised!

word count: 5.5k!

everything is warned about and 100% consensual even if the consent is not shown. if you choose to read despite the warnings it is not my responsibility if you get triggered and i will not waste my time defending myself. hate or 'why did you put this when it's triggering' comments will be deleted and blocked. i have triggers too that i work to avoid, so can you ♡

warnings:

seonghwa: rules and punishments, strict mommy dom, slight infantilisation if you're looking for it, spanking, crying, dollification, bimbofication & dumbification, he could come across as manipulative but not really, nursing

hongjoong: oppa kink, punishment, spanking, public stuff but you don't get caught, mentioned pet play, jealousy

yunho: most extreme part of this, mean dom, psychological domination, mind games & control, conditioning, fear play, sadism, consensual non-consent, stalking & chasing as part of that, rope bondage, overpowering, degradation, begging, forced intoxication (with consent)

yeosang: dirty talk, degradation, punishment, naked female clothed male, shoe grinding, humiliation, yeosang in a suit (that's a warning), minor pet play (he calls you a puppy), cum eating sorry

san: biting & marking, spanking, crying, overstimulation, punishment

mingi: rough sex, he's a bit mean, experimentation & exploration, bondage, free use, mentioned publicish) stuff, detailed aftercare, passing out

wooyoung: pet play, humiliation & degradation, leashes, collars, boot grinding, he steps on your head, cocky annoying dom, gagging, titles (mama and sir)

jongho: strength kink, being held down, bondage, slapping, biting, begging, exhibitionism, throat training

—————

seonghwa

strict dom strict dom strict dom

not particularly mean, doesn’t like seeing you cry or fear him (we’ll leave that to the others (you’ll see))

he just has a high standard of behaviour that he expects you to meet

and will come down hard when you don’t

because you’re his girl and he won’t be made to look weak or a fool by a disobedient sub

also because he loves control, particularly over you

so it’s very important to him that you’re able to follow every direction instantly

world champion of dollification

he’s pretty and he thinks you’re pretty so he wants to make you perfect looking

will buy you pretty things constantly

he’s always coming back from tour with clothes and accessories that he refuses to tell you the price of

then he’ll dress you up all pretty, do your hair and makeup to look like a literal porcelain doll

only to ruin you after

see also also: dumbification

these two often go hand in hand in hand in general and especially do for him

he loves having a hot, brainless gf for him to show off and completely control & protect

again, expensive gifts that you wear while he destroys you

seonghwa said THE HEELS STAY ON DURING SEX

the dumbificiation is very apparent in our next section

you guessed it

mommy!hwa

the mom jokes might be corny at this point but i believe in mommy hwa on a spiritual level

like i’ll fight god over this

not that he ‘mothers’ his members or whatever but he is definitely YOUR mommy

regardless of who first suggested it (probably him) it’s his absolute favourite

he loves the way it makes him feel so powerful, like your carer and protector and disciplinarian

like he can do whatever he wants to do because mommy knows best, baby

this is where the dumbification comes back in

“my poor baby is just so so stupid. what would you do without mommy, hm?”

yeah

always reminding you how lucky you are to have mommy do all the thinking for you and make all the impossible big girl decisions that you’re too dumb to make

when you argue with him he just tilts his head and smiles fondly at you

think the expression when a toddler is fighting u over something ridiculous and they’re just soooo cute and stupid ur just like awww

that’s seonghwa

but there’s a line even when you’re being cute and once you cross it you’ll be over his knee, panties tugged down to your ankles while he spanks your bare ass

and pussy if he’s feeling whimsical

his spanks are hand n fast, there’s no counting with seonghwa

he’ll hammer them down with precision until your ass & thighs are an angry red

maybe even purple

he’ll hug you after, pull you into his arms and rock you, telling you how sorry he is that you just couldn’t behave

“you know mommy hates doing this, baby”

but you need to learn and ur sooo lucky seonghwa is nice and patient enough to teach you

but if you won’t calm down after & are still raging and sulking, then no hugs for you

there will be at some point ofc (aftercare is mandatory) but for now no

this is a man who WILL send you to the corner

facing the wall with your panties still at your ankles

hands on your head so you can’t rub your ass cus only seonghwa gets to do that duh

usually he’ll sit and watch you until time’s up, making sure you’re ok and not trying to sneak away

but if it was just a quick spanking, he’ll leave you there while he goes back to what he was doing

will give you a few more swats whenever he walks past

but after that trust, it’s cuddle time

the only merciful thing about seonghwa’s spanking is that he only uses his hands

bc his baby is too precious and fragile to be hurt with some dumb inanimate object

she deserves the best only so only seonghwa’s hands get to make you cry

his other favourite punishment is overstim

seonghwa is very strict about masturbation

he makes a big deal out of you being his pure, precious girl who should never be tainted by dirty thoughts

only he is allowed to sully you with those kinds of touches

so when he finds you with your hand on your clit

oh boy

it’s beat down time

he ties you in place, usually on the bed, and overstimulate you for hours, making you cum over and over until you’re wailing

full on thrashing against the restraints and begging him to stop

but he just looks at you and turns it up

mock sympathy as well

he’s SO patronising

“isn’t this what you wanted, baby? to have your dirty pussy used like a slut? well now you’re getting it”

i might get flack for this but i think u suck his tits

not sexually, when you’re overwhelmed or overstimulated, crying n whining over everything with the watery eyes and wobbly lip that makes him melt

he’ll pull off his shirt and pull you into his arms

“come to mommy, baby”

gets you all comfy and safe in his arms and and lets you suckle him

the most precious sight is when your eyes start drooping shut while he nurses you

ugh

anyway

big dick btw that’s my final point

prettiest in ateez u could paint it

hongjoong

DAD ALERT

not majorly

the only time i feel like that’d be a big thing is if you’re with him and seonghwa as a throuple

bc they’d def want to be your mommy and daddy

but bfs matz is another thing entirely

i might make another post abt that and will definitely write a fic for it bc that dynamic is a little different

and so special TO ME

for some reason i think hongjoong would prefer to be called oppa

he’d be a real brat abt getting called daddy

it makes him feel old

but oppa joong is cute, it makes him feel strong n powerful and protective of you but not like an ancient elder

you can def call him that strategically bc it affects him so much

esp because i don’t think he’d be too fussed abt getting called that in normal life

he’d probably prefer joong or baby

but bc oppa is a normal word to use so people wouldn’t suspect the way u n joong use it

u can say it in everyday situations and just enjoy his reaction

his jaw would clench n he’d probably ball his fist

pull you closer to him and tell you to behave yourself

“i’m warning you, angel”

oh yeah he loves pet names

angel, kitty, bunny, the classic baby are all in regular use

when you fuck up i can’t imagine him spanking you

it’s happened before but not regularly n it’s usually been in tandem with other punishments

he loves slapping you during sex definitely, and if you’re acting up in public he’ll do it once as a warning but its not a big thing like with seonghwa

he just doesn’t usually like striking you in a disciplinary context

but that’s not to say he doesn’t discipline you bc he absolutely does

he just uses more… creative methods

overstim is a fav & his collection of bullet vibrators and vibrating panties (and u prob found out that those are a thing the hard way) never fails

he’s cocky especially when he’s punishing you

“who else makes you feel like this? just oppa? i thought so”

i don’t imagine him being massively into more extreme stuff

but occasionally he’s down for some petplay

overall he’s just horny and youre horny and he just wants to use you and play with you however he wants

not necessarily in that he’s a switch

but he can be a service top

he’ll dominate you however you need to get off

also

kim hongjoong certified lover of public stuff

he’s not an exhibitionist

no one gets to see you like that but him

but he loves the rush of it

and he loves the thought that you’re both so desperate for each other you won’t even wait

he has fucked you in every area code

but speaking of no one seeing you like that but him

one of the only times he’s ever spanked you was when you got too cozy with a man in the club

he dragged you out of there and he was so mad he couldn’t even wait till you were home

he got in the backseat of his car and dragged you across his lap right there in the parking lot

yanked your dress up and tore open your pantyhose and panties

and they were cute panties too

you were all like “wtf hongjoong!!!!!” but he slapped u hard on the ass and growled at you to shut up

“don’t make this worse for yourself, slut”

and he spanked you black and blue in the parking lot

you were fully sobbing by the end

you’d tired yourself out kicking and squirming but he had a lesson to teach and he was gonna teach it

so yeah i think that’d be the times when he’d spank you

when he’s jealous and angry and needs you to know it

but so sweet after

touching the burning skin and apologising

“i’m so sorry baby. did i hurt you that bad?”

but you just smile and tell him that was the hottest thing he’s ever done

then he’s speeding home to get you naked in his bed immediately

he’s not MASSIVE massive but when it comes to the motion of the ocean he’s a pioneer

call him a DeWalt 18V Li-ion Brushed Cordless Combi Drill (1 x 2Ah) because he’s drilling into you from every angle

crazy positions

he has it down to a science

precision thrusts i’m telling you

cus if there’s one thing hongjoong will not tolerate it’s an unsatisfied girlfriend

basically at any given time you’ve just been fuck, are being fucked, or are going to be fucked

trust me

yunho

meanest dom

yall know my thoughts on this AND you all egg me on so it’s your fault too

big on psychological domination

subtle things to emphasise his status over you

he loves mind games

he has complete control of your mind and he loves it

loves using it

but i don’t think he was like this at first

when you met him he was pretty vanilla but you could just tell there was something beneath it all

eventually you managed to provoke him enough t in find out and you almost regret it

bc holy hell this man is sadistic

sets a rule for you to be naked at all times when you’re at home together. if he sees you even wearing panties you’ll be bent over and disciplined on the spot

definitely the most evil dom lol

a little bit of dacryphilia but crying’s not massively his thing. fear is what gets him off

there nothing sweeter than the sight of you cowering under him with frightened eyes, your lip wobbling as you whimper for him to please be gentle

but it very rarely works

only when you’re particularly cute (or afraid)

he’s just so large and can have such an intimidating aura

like that clip when mingi tells him not to joke around in the hospital and he has him apologising just by looking at him

he’s practically conditioned his own members to fear him like cmon

and that’s an example of how he is with you

just his presence is enough

aura shifting when he walks in a room

cus u know what he can do to u and is probably planning to

cnc? cnc

fear play is a must

u can read my drabble ‘predator and prey’ to get a taster of that

he loves setting up elaborate scenes for him to hunt you

through the house and garden, through the city streets, in a forest once

he’d set you free with a one minute head start

he always knew where u were ofc, had to make sure only he could hurt you, and he knows this forest like the back of his hand. everything his by design

he likes to follow you, stalk you, make sure you know you’re being watched and hunted before he strikes

he takes you down easily but he loves it when you fight back

makes it even sweeter

he doesn’t act like it though

grunting and cursing while fighting off your scratches and bitches as he tries to get the rope around your arms to subdue you

“stay fucking still, bitch”

he loves ‘prey’ nicknames especially

think bunny, lamb, even little deer

the kind of animal that would tempt a big bad wolf

no alpha shit though

you called him alpha once as a joke and he didn’t talk to you for an hour

there’s a lot of names he likes

daddy and sir are classics

when you’re really into the prey role you’ll whimper our a please, mister and watch his dick swell up instantly

he’s not a big talker but likes when you do

not when you just start talking tho

he likes to force it out of you

forces you to beg; for him to speed up, for him to stop, for him to be gentle

“beg me not to hurt you, baby”

“be a good little lamb and beg for your life”

he could live off the fear in your eyes when he catches you

i think he’s also into forced intox, i.e. making you drink so it’s easier to take advantage of you

he’ll wrap his arm around your neck, holding you in a headlock and forcing a bottle of vodka down your throat

you trip to push and wriggle away but his grip is iron

big hand pulling your mouth open and holding it there

“come on baby, just a little more. a little more then you’ll be nice and pliant for me”

he just loves you so much and he loves the trust you put in him

and he’d never hurt you more than you want him to

this is getting too long but i wanna say he is one of the best at aftercare in ateez

bc this man will put you THROUGH THE WRINGER so the least he could do is dote on you afterwards

i need him

bye

yeosang

ive actually done a dom yeosang headcanon post before

but always happy to share my passions

so lets go over that again and build on it some more

DIRTY TALK KING AND ITS NOT EVEN CLOSE

not just bc of that voice

which could kill god btw

but also

he comes across as quiet but he’s well spoken

so he knows exactly what to say

will absolutely ruin you without laying a finger on you

simply by talking to you

that’s his go to punishment actually

part of being a dom is knowing your strengths and he knows that his is his words

so when you’ve been a real brat he’ll just tie you up

or make you stay in position yourself!! that’s almost worse

and he’ll sit in an armchair just out of reach

lazing back in it like a throne

and a completely blank and emotionless expression

just read you for filth

he’ll tease, mock and degrade you until you’re crying or cumming or both

just a few sentences and you’re light headed

he’s very observant too

notices your reactions especially to his words

sometimes you’ll hear him go ‘ah’ or ‘i see’ and you know he’s making mental note of what he’s just done to get you going

his favourite thing is how transparent you are

he can tell easily what he’s doing to you and he uses it

“are you really that weak?”

and you’ll whine and protest but he shakes his head like he’s disappointed when he actually just wants to tear your apart

“i didn’t know you were this pathetic. i thought i trained you to be better than this, baby”

probably the cockiest dom in ateez just bc he manages to seem so disinterested

he acts like this is all beneath him

like it’s a waste of his time insulting you cus you’ll just get off on it anyway

yeosang is a big fan of clothed male naked female

he’ll have you completely strip off, no panties allowed and he won’t even take of his shoes

it just reinforces for both of you who’s in charge

his fav thing is wearing a suit when he dominates you

like he’s dressed to impress and you’re fully nude? how humiliating

another thing he loves is shoe grinding

he’ll have u desperate on your knees while he’s standing or sitting on the couch

and he’s looking down at you like you’re nothing and he won’t touch you

“why would i touch you? i don’t want anything to do with this display of yours”

eventually you’re so desperate that he just sighs and tells you to get off on his shoe if you need it that bad

you protest and beg him to just touch you but he doesn’t pay you attention

“aren’t you a puppy? that’s what dogs do. now grind.”

so you shuffle to rest your pussy on his shoe and start grinding against

it’s so humiliating but also the hottest thing ever

he stares down like this is tuesday for him

which it kind of is cus he knows maybe better than you do that you’ll do anything he tells you

but this is still pathetic and he lets you know

“are you seriously not embarrassed? this is so embarrassing, y/n”

like everything he talks you through it until you’re cumming all over his shoe, clinging to his leg and panting as you come down from your high

he just points at the mess and tells you to clean it up

lick it up, to be more specific

and that’s even more embarrassing but it is your mess after all so you do it

he finally touches you afterwards

pulls you into his arms and tells you what a good girl you are

doing anything he says

forever and ever

love u yeosang give me a call sometime

san

wife guy

biggest one in ateez

and as a dom that translates into possessiveness and worship

he worships every inch of you

kissing, licking, touching every part of your body

PLEASURE DOM!!

google it if u don’t know the meaning

but that’s san

he may be the dom but he’s here to please you

cuddle fucking

clinging to each other while he stretches you open

LOVES hearing you whimper

or scream or make any noise because of him

missionary is his favourite

cus he gets to look at you, see the pleasure on your face and your eyes tearing up when he hits the spot over and over

the other reason he likes missionary is that when you’re really overwhelmed by the pleasure

you wrap your arms around him and sink your teeth into his shoulder

using it to muffle your cries

that’s the hottest and sweetest thing ever

feeling your nails digging into his back while you scream into his shoulder cus he’s making you feel so good

a big fan of biting

but he doesn’t rly bite you

no he wants you to bite him

when it feels so good you can’t take it anymore just sink your teeth into him and it spurs him on

he loves the possessive side too

he’s quite possessive so he loves knowing you want people to know he’s yours just as much as he does

suck his neck, biceps and pecs until he’s bruised all over

he doesn’t punish you in the traditional sense

but if you want him to, he’ll make you cry

sometimes when you’re really stressed you’ll come to him and ask him to punish you

and he’ll happily haul you over his lap and spank you

makes a big show of baring your ass

slowly taking down your shorts and underwear

he loves the slow reveal of your cheeks

gets him off tbh

he makes you count each hit and thank him

because he’s doing you a favour after all

“say thank you, sannie”

if you don’t do it he’s starting over

it’s a game for him and a stress reliever for you

and he’s strong so it doesn’t take long for you to start crying

but sometimes you don’t even know you need it

you’re being really irritable and rude and he’ll just stare at you for a moment and ask if you need to be spanked

it sounds like a threat but it’s not

he’s offering

and if you say no he’ll find another solution

but you never say no because he knows you better than you know yourself at this point

he can tell what you need almost instantly

so when you need to be hurt, he does that for you

everything he does is for you

again, pleasure dom

when you actually piss him off he’s not above overstimulating you

pleasure doms gotta pleasure after all

he likes showing you that just bc he lives to make you feel good doesn’t mean you’re in charge

and that he can torture you even through making you feel good

but he doesn’t use a vibrator

just himself

it’s amazing actually

he can spend hours on end pleasuring you with his hands and mouth and not get tired

we know he’s a munch i don’t need to get into that

and after he finally shows mercy and you come down from your high he’ll be so gentle but condescending

“learned your lesson, baby?”

sweet but still a little demeaning

“you need to listen to sannie baby, you know that now right?”

i need him

mingi

biggest lover boy no questions

he can definitely be dominant but he much prefers to just enjoy every inch of you

so id say he’s a very soft and loving dom

however

on occasion the beast comes out

for example

after a performance

or long day in the studio

where he’s pent up and tired

i can see him taking it out on you

he’d be fully animalistic

holding you down and grunting while he pounds into you

he’s practically in a trance

the only time he speaks to you here is when you’re not staying still or whatever

he’ll slap you and put more weight behind holding you down

“didn’t i tell you to stay fucking still?”

he can be quite cruel when he’s in this mood

“do i need to use my belt to tie you up are you gonna start fuckin’ listening?”

he may not be the most extreme member but he’s the most explorative

he wants to try everything once

always coming up with something new to try

you’ve done everything

you even tried being the dom once but seeing you on top of him struggling to know what to do set him off

and he grabbed you and fucked you from beneath til you were screaming and gripping onto him for dear life

this is another man who likes to be called oppa

it’s romantic but also hot for him

loves hearing you scream and cry it

he knows he’s doing a good job

the only actual kinky thing i can see with him is free use

he LOVES free use

the idea that he can just grab and use you at any time? yes

makes him feel something

he doesn’t know what but something

you’ll be watching tv or reading or even walking by and he’ll grab you, bend you over the nearest surface and slide into you without a word

he doesn’t need to explain what he’s doing

you’re his to use

so you take it like a good girl and he loves it

he loves when you suck his dick while he’s doing something

reading, gaming, watching tv, even writing music

he campaigned to be allowed to do it while recording music but he was shot down like a war plane

seonghwa made him swear on a bible “not to bring that shit in here”

he shrugged and went FINE!!!!!! then took you home and fucked your mouth for an hour to make up for it

yeah mingi is a free use fiend i’m sorry

he loves having you there to take his stress out on

then being so gentle with you after

he definitely gives you baths

when he’s fucked you so hard you’ve passed out after he’ll run a warm bath and hold you carefully in the water

gently rinsing you clean and kissing your hair and face while he does so

it’s precious

but he’s careful you don’t pass out during

you told him it’d be hot if that happened but to him it’s scary

it happened once and he phoned hongjoong like OH MY GOD I’VE KILLED HER

so yeah let’s not repeat that

mingi sweetest boy <3

wooyoung

pet play

calls you puppy

and if you’re being really bad

he calls you mutt

leashes

not rly into walking you around the house on a leash

cus you’re a good puppy so he expects you to follow him anyway

but he loves hitting it from the back and tugging on your leash to pull you towards him

he likes you to wear a collar

he got a really expensive black one made for you

with wooyoung carved into the inside

it’s pretty innocuous looking though so you can wear it like a normal accessory

EXCEPT it has a clip to attach a leash to it

sometimes that’s how he initiates

you’ll be sitting there and he walks up to you, clips the leash on and tugs you towards the bedroom

he prefers to do it in the bedroom i think

it’s better set up and more private

he’s not super into public stuff so he feels more comfortable knowing no one’s gonna walk in on you two

especially because u KNOW he gets down and dirty

his big thing is pet play but he loves anything related to that

boot grinding like we saw with yeosang is a big one

also humiliation and degradation

he loves reminding you that when it comes to him

you’re just a dog

so he probably has a nudity rule too but it’s probably only when you’re playing

i don’t think he’s too fussed otherwise

also stepping

he’ll make you kneel and put your head to the ground

then he’ll put a foot on your head and push it further into the ground

degrades you the whole time

acts surprised when it makes you wet

“wait, do you like this? that’s disgusting”

laughs at you

a lot

cus he’s a bit of a dick when he doms

he wants to push you & your dignity to the limit and giggle the whole time

refuses to use human terms for you to add to the humiliation

for example

calling your hands your paws

if you’re touching him without permission he yanks your hand away

“keep your fucking paws to yourself”

keeps threatening to muzzle you?

he claims to own a muzzle already but you’re not sure if he’s messing with you

that’s the thing abt wooyoung

sometimes he’ll just say things

just to see you squirm

he loves having that effect on you

very cocky dom i think

but not super formal

call him mama or sir, he’s not fussed

both sound beautiful from your mouth

but when you’re his pet, don’t call him wooyoung

that privilege is for humans smh

the only time he allows it is when you’re right at your limit and you’re whimpering ‘woo’ over and over

and that’s only bc you sound so cute

he LOVES aftercare

not even bc it’s necessary he just loves doing it

like it’s so intimate and special for him

plus seeing how fucked out and exhausted you are because of him

that’s also a plus

you’ll never be unsatisfied or unloved with wooyoung

he knows what you need and you’ll get it

jongho

STRENGTH KINK STRENGTH KINK

(chanting)

STRENGTH KINK STRENGTH KINK

ik he’s joked a few times about being shortish (he’s not even short though he’s just in a group with yungi like) and that might be part of it for him

regardless of your height compared to him, he loves seeing your size difference in this regard

in the gym every day keeping his muscles pristine so he can absolutely dwarf you

anything to do with strength kink he adores

throwing you around? yes

manhandling? YES

jongho doesn’t tell you to move or change position. he just grabs you and gets you there himself

he loves pinning you down while he fucks you

keeping you in a headlock while he hits it from the back

tying you up is also an option

that way he can put all his strength into his thrusts

i’ve always felt jongho was a dom, i think it’s his aura

his gaze maybe

the way he looks at people just to puts me on my knees it’s perfect

so i don’t think the whole dom/sub thing was something he specifically brought up i think it was just a natural thing you both slipped into

but once you realised what it was he made sure to have the proper discussions with you

cus you’re his baby and he wants you safe and happy

i don’t think he’s rly into bdsm he just likes throwing u around

he’d definitely like slapping you too

purely to see the effect it has on you

he loves seeing your eyes well up from his hits

again that’s part of the strength thing

he loves knowing he can do that to you

in terms of names i think he wouldn’t mind daddy or sir but his absolutely favourite is just jongho

he loves hearing you moan or scream or whine it bc it reminds him that he’s doing this to you. no one else makes you feel like this but jongho

it makes him go a bit crazy tbh

this is the one time he can be a bit subby because he’ll literally beg you to say his name while he’s fucking you

“fuck, say my name again, please baby”

but it’s not THAT submissive bc he’s still demolishing you while he says it lol

one thing about jongho is he can go a bit feral at times

not chasing you through the woods feral like a certain someone but you just make him lose control a bit

the way this manifests for him is MARKING

he fucking loves leaving marks on you

it makes him so proud seeing you covered in bruises from his mouth and hands

so when he does hit you, he’ll keep going until there’s blooming purple across your skin

and of course he bites you

A LOT

when you met up with the boys after the first time he’d gone really feral, hongjoong had seen the bruises on your neck and collarbones for a moment before turning to jongho and asking if he needed to be muzzled

you’d laughed at that which jongho had made sure you’d paid for later that night

but you loved every second of it and so did he

and he felt strangely proud knowing his members had seen you all marked up like that

now they know you’re his and they know what he can do

it’s satisfying

i don’t think there’s any rules or punishments going on

if you catch an attitude jongho will just fuck it out of you

“is it funny now, baby? do you still wanna talk like that?”

you do not

will put his fingers in your mouth btw

while he’s fucking you he’ll just shove them in to gag you and let you suck on them

no warning either

“choke on them baby, good girl”

btw jongho is very thick

idk about the length but you’ll definitely be stretching your jaw a bit

so yeah

enjoy

there’ll def be some throat training at the start of the relationship

learning to open your throat properly for him

breaking you in essentially and that’s how he treats it

he’s very patient but he pushes you

“can you open it up a bit more? yeah i knew you could, good girl”

big praiser especially when he’s pushing you

loves how you’ll do hard stuff like throat training just to please him

“fuck, you’d do anything for me wouldn’t you? that’s so precious”eventually you’re a pro at sucking him

he’s taught you exactly how he likes it

i can see him OCCASIONALLY letting another member watch (not touch) just to show off how good you are and how well he’s trained you

again it’s an ego thing for him

he’s not into multiples so the other member will be watching then leaving

he just wants to show you off

and also show the members that he’s not a baby anymore

oh my beefy boy

i love you sm

—————

just spent almost two hours manually inserting bullet points cus i was a dumbass and wrote this in google docs, so please reblog and comment with your thoughts! let me know what you think, i read and appreciate all feedback! requests (drabbles & fics) are OPEN. love🖤🖤🖤

#ateez smut #ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #ateez hard asks #kpop smut #seonghwa smut #hongjoong smut #jeong yunho smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #choi san smut #san smut #mingi smut #wooyoung smut #jongho smut

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kimbap-r0ll · 3 days

Note

I would like to request PLATONIC! Lilia Vanrouge with an incredibly beautiful daughter (or child if you want to make it gender neutral) who is completely oblivious to what power her beauty has over others and gets an endless amount of suiters, constantly asking Lilia for her hand in marriage

Hi! Omg wait this is such a funny idea. I'll make it gender neutral for this one ^^

Platonic!Lilia and his child!reader who gets a lot of suitors

I think first and foremost as a dad he wants his best for his kiddo. This goes for how he raised Silver and basically the entirety of Diasomnia. You are also subject to training like Silver and Sebek did, which helped you become closer to those two over the years

Lilia would definitely pamper you with travel souvenirs since he went on a lot of trips. If you were younger I feel like it might've been wholesome to dress you up and such but for you, you were able to play with Lilia's hair. Would he go out in armor with a few kiddy hair ties if his presence was needed in a fight? Yes.

But speaking of suitors, I think he would be a little protective of his child. Like on one hand he's like "yeah my child's the coolest :D" but then on the other hand he's like "omg why are there so many people asking for your hand in marriage." Like he himself would probably think you're the best looking person in all of Twisted Wonderland, but he wasn't expecting so many suitors when you came of age to start thinking about marriage

He's definitely strict with who he would let you meet, mostly because of his nature. While he isn't like breathing down the suitors' necks or anything, his smile doesn't really reach his eyes when he's talking to them haha

A lot of times he just turns down the suitors if they approach him at parties or other noble occasions. He's probably pretty good at reading people, but other than face-to-face meetings he also gets a lot of letters from across Twisted Wonderland. He doesn't like writing them all, so sometimes he just tells the suitors that ask why he hasn't replied by saying "oops, sorry I guess it got missing while getting sent here d:"

Might've thought about finding suitable people using something like they did in Brave where the suitors have to go through hurdles, only for his kid to beat them in all of them.

He knows that you have a really good appearance, but he wants to make sure whoever you end up with will appreciate you for who you are, not an idealized version of you. So, he really lets you choose who you want to meet, not meet, etc.

When you do eventually find the person you want to be with, he will be supportive of any decision you make going forward. He cares for your wellbeing both physically and mentally first and foremost!

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst scenarios #ask box #twst lilia headcanons #platonic

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back-on-my-autistic-bullshit · 11 hours

Text

Full Moon Stolitz thoughts

Alright I'm getting on this shit because I am obsessed with Stolitz unironically. Before I start this I want to be absolutely clear that (in my opinion) there is no "right" side in the overall situation between Blitz and Stolas. Both equally have problems that contribute to their miscommunication and I can sympathise with both of them. If you disagree, feel free to ignore this post and scroll on, I don't mind friendly debate with people I know well but strangers on the internet are a different story.

I do generally project heavily onto Blitz which yeah probably impacts my interpretation of this a lot but I'm just a guy on tumblr I'm not here to be 100% right I'm just posing my take on their behaviours etc etc

Mandatory Disclaimer: spoilers start below! Do not click read more if you care about spoilers for The Full Moon episode of Helluva Boss

That all said, I'm splitting this into three parts:

Blitz's behaviour throughout the episode

Stolas' behaviour throughout the episode

Blitz and Stolas' confrontation/argument/interaction at the end of the episode

Part One: Blitz's behaviour

Starting off with "When I See Him", the basics of it (that is played up a bit for comedy and more or less directly stated really at the start) is that Blitz is obviously covering up how he really feels by concentrating entirely on the sex he anticipates having, and acting like that is what is important to him.

Are we okay? Can't really say I'm getting by By avoiding his questions It's so complicated, I hate when it's complicated Why do I always end up in situations that are complicated?

Blitz knows there is something wrong, or off, between the two of them but he'd rather not talk or communicate about it - literally preferring to avoid the topic entirely because "complicated" = bad, and he has no idea how to fix that, despite the fact that most of his relationships have been and/or are still complicated, he doesn't know how to deal with that because he never learnt. He's started to with Fizz a bit at the very least, but he's definitely not in a place to do that with romantic relationships yet - but I digress.

Here I go again, getting in my head So I'll focus on the sexy stuff instead

Not too much to say about this part other than he is actively choosing to disregard his anxieties and worries about him and Stolas by putting on this mask of caring about the sex and nothing else. Honestly, not a surprise with Blitz, this is pretty average behaviour and is very much likely a common coping mechanism of his to avoid serious feelings when engaging in relationships of a romantic nature. Especially since he seems to place a lot of value in himself in how good he is in bed.

When I see him, I'm gonna do that thing he likes No need to change things, I'll just bring the ropes and spikes[/spice*] We've got a nice arrangement And it's working out just fine We'll keep it light

Can't wait to lose ourselves in nasty sex And make that bird squawk We'll just stick with what makes sense

Same as above, he's going to what's familiar and directly deciding he'd rather ignore any issues they have and not talk about them in favour of doing what they normally do on full moons and call it a night.

*my audio processing disorder really did not like that line, and I cannot completely tell if that's right - any mistakes in lyrics or other quotes from the show before or after this are almost definitely because of this so please feel free to correct me.

Moving on from the song, some things Blitz does or says during the conversation with Moxxie and Loona in the office that stick out to me.

It's the full moon, I gotta meet up with Stolas tonight. Felt like dressing up a little since it's been a few months since I've been inside his feathered ass.

This is personally really interesting to me since he's not been known to dress up explicitly to see Stolas before (excluding the posts that have been seen on the instagram accounts but I'm hesitant to count those as 100% hard canon, and they were outfits of a different variety - not a bowtie and suspenders as he's seen wearing in the episode). It's like he's trying very hard to impress him for.. some reason? I'm guessing he sees it as part of his whole plan to really sort of wow Stolas, get in there, get out, no touchy feely stuff. It comes off as the opposite to me though, it shows that he kind of values what Stolas think of him and his appearance - and that he wants to impress Stolas. This could just be him trying to prove his worth to Stolas so he doesn't get cast aside, but it could also be more.

This facial expression is very important to me. It's a split second frame of vulnerability in response to Loona saying the following:

Oh shit, he's getting bored of you.

This is genuine worry and concern on his face, he tried to cover it up with a smile but he is concerned. And yes, it could just be about losing the book, it probably is in part but I think it's more than that.

Loona also says this:

Yeah, man. If someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch, they probably want out themselves. Just wanna be more passive aggressive about it, dicks.

When she says this Blitz reacts very on the defensive, repeating what she said mockingly and saying this:

How do you know, Loona?

It's a very defensive reaction and I'd bet he feels at least a little bit bruised and hurt at the thought of Stolas getting "bored" of him - which probably does not help at all with how he's struggling with how he currently feels about Stolas between the agreement for the book and not seeing him in a while.

Immediately after this interaction, he literally leaves his job (which like, yeah, he is own his boss I Guess he can do that whenever he wants but I can't imagine he does it a lot, I Hope, unless he thinks it's important) and goes shopping for more things to impress Stolas. It's a lot of effort to put into someone you don't really super care about, all things considered but let's just go with the devil's advocate here that it's not to lose the book and it doesn't really mean anything. Although I do find his choice to look at candles first interesting, assuming it's not for something else (resident sex repulsed asexual is struggling with thinking about that kind of thing - despite watching helluva boss lmao), Stolas seems to like candles. If I remember correctly, he has some near his bath.

An interesting detail for Blitz to know/remember/take into account, for someone he allegedly does not care about. Anddd that's it for Blitz's scenes in this episode.

Part 2: Stolas' Behaviour

Like with Blitz, I'm gonna focus on how Stolas acts in "When I See Him" first, then move on to what we see of him alone in the rest of the episode (which there's very little of, I think, unfortunately).

The summary of what I think of Stolas in this song is he clearly has a somewhat fairytale view of his relationship with Blitz still (which is only emphasised by how the song is disney princess like in nature), thankfully he knows he has to let him be separate from the terms of their agreement and has found a way for this to occur without horribly impacting Blitz's business. However, he (at least, at first) seems to think after this happens everything will go fine and be perfectly okay and happily ever after, or more likely hopes that is how the situation will end up - but we see more of his worries later on so he's evidently not completely deluding himself.

My derring-do is half disguised Behind a smile

I don't have a lot to say about this just that it shows Stolas is obviously aware that Blitz is performing at least a little when he's with him.

I swore I wouldn't dwell on the divorce

This line just interests me more than anything, it's understandable that he doesn't want to think about the divorce. God knows I wouldn't want to, but's it intriguing to see he's attempting to distance himself from it - I hope we see more about this in the future episodes, maybe.

So for my own health I'll remind myself That when I see him I know that it won't feel so tough I'll believe him And not the voice that says I'm not enough No need for an arrangement It can just be him and me I'll see us free How perfect it could be When I see him tonight

This bit is very sweet honestly, Stolas clearly yearns to be closer to Blitz - and he's trying his best to facilitate that. He just wants genuine connection and love, something he couldn't experience in his marriage with Stella. Stolas is obviously nervous and has some self worth issues to say the least, but he deals with them differently to Blitz. In fact, he finds that being with Blitz helps combat these (likely because he feels loved and/or wanted by someone).

Unrelated to dissecting the episode and the like, the voice acting for this part was incredible and I love the way Stolas' VA (his name has slipped my mind atm) conveys emotion in his voice - even while singing. He sounds very hopeful, yet the cracks and wobbles suggest how nervous he feels for the interaction with Blitz, even if he's currently acting as if he thinks it will end well.

Oh god I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad tonight

This bit really just kind of shows how nervous he does feel about talking with Blitz about giving him the crystal. And that he is scared it'll go wrong, it's nothing too crazy.

The detail of him having none of the medication he takes left is interesting to me though, just that he's still taking it, I guess - could suggest he's still struggling with anxiety etc etc.

Am I doing something I can't take back? Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner What kind of a monster does that make me

Stolas is clearly feeling a lot of guilt for his past treatment of Blitz, and fear that his feelings aren't reciprocated - but it seems like he's more scared that he's been taking advantage of Blitz, than the thought that Blitz doesn't like him.

My entire life's been written in stone He taught me that I could choose

Blitz is the first person he really chose to meet or associate with, as a child and as an adult. There was no obligation to know him or socialise with him, or to be his friend (or more). In fact, it was discouraged if anything but Stolas chose to do it anyway - and it helped him realise he could do what he wanted, and gain the confidence to do so.

Part 3: Blitz and Stolas' confrontation

Stolas' body language here kills me, he's so nervous for what he's about to do, and despite his hopeful song early he's eerily somber - as if he knows this will end badly.

Blitz looks so afraid here, he's gone through all of this effort to try to impress Stolas and keep him from getting "bored" of him. Part of this is probably because he doesn't want to lose the connection he and Stolas have but honestly it's largely probably the fear of losing the book and his business that he's worked so hard for. Blitz is an incredibly ambitious person, and he's put a lot of blood, sweat and tears (mostly blood) into I.M.P and to have it taken away because of someone else due to not being good enough for them is probably one of his worst fears.

Blitz's immediate switch to trying to seduce Stolas is slightly jarring, but not all that surprising considering how this whole thing started. Blitz is desperate, trying anything to prove to Stolas he's worth keeping around. Meanwhile Stolas looks resigned, as if realising it really was just a performance for Blitz the entire time.

Stolas, please, I- I need this book. Please, I need this book, Stolas. I will do anything.

The immediate switch to begging, mixed with tears, took me off guard honestly. I didn't expect to see him do that but it makes sense considering how badly he treasures I.M.P and he really is just at the whim of Stolas and it could all collapse at any given moment.

I don't understand, why are you giving me this? Am I not like, fucking you good enough? Because I can- I can always do better.

This being Blitz's immediate reaction to getting the crystal from Stolas is upsetting. I was on the verge of tears here, he can't even comprehend that Stolas might genuinely want to give him a gift, not because Blitz isn't good enough, but because Stolas wants him to be independent. Blitz has never viewed himself as "good enough" for people and he puts on a lot of performances to convince himself he's worthy of being associated with others. This probably feels like, to him, a convoluted way of "getting rid" of him, instead of giving him freedom so he and Stolas can interact with less of a power imbalance.

This in an interesting roleplay, never done this one but I can get into it. How's this? Oh, Stolas, I'll stay with you, I love you soo much.

Blitz's immediate response to Stolas' confession being one of disbelief leading him into thinking it's some sort of roleplay or pretense because he can't possibly believe that anyone would actually love him is honestly worse case scenario and probably where all of this starts going downhill.

I have my answer, Blitz. You needn't say anything. I have wanted you, for so long. The fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that it's always about... sex. That's enough to know what this is.

This right here, is terrible. Miserable, even. Communication is starting to break down, Stolas doesn't realise or understand Blitz's point of view and I certainly cannot blame him for getting upset but how these two are communicating yet somehow falling victim to miscommunication at the same time is impressive at this point. They're both getting emotional, and it's fucking everything up but to be fair no one can remain 100% logical, this is nerve wracking and stressful for them both.

What? Fuck you, Stolas. You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you've put me through, you pompous rich asshole? Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can't just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important! Well, I'm not letting you, bitch! Let's go!

This, this is incredibly cathartic in a weird way. It's not good by any means but for Blitz these bitter feelings have probably been somewhat simmering beneath the surface for a while and he hasn't been able to express them because of the nature of his and Stolas' relationship. The way he's phrasing this makes me wonder if he has previous experience with a royal demon doing this to him outside of now, and Stolas' father hiring him to be Stolas' friend when he was a child. It wouldn't be too unreasonable but putting that aside for a moment. The anger and lashing out here is probably a defense mechanism on his part, every time something has got vulnerable or upsetting in the past in this show Blitz always seems to get angry (an example that comes to mind at the minute is when Cash was celebrating Fizz's birthday - at the time he didn't say anything to Fizz but he stormed off, angry. Another one could be probably a few of his interactions with Verosika. I'd have to rewatch the show to find something more particular). The point is Blitz lashes out instead of being open and vulnerable, he doesn't mean or genuinely think any of this - and immediately regrets it as soon as he says it. But it's too late, it's been said.

Stolas flinches or pauses when walking a handful of times during this rant from Blitz, each time whenever he has an insult. Before he has even said anything it's immensely clear Stolas is very hurt by this.

Blitz. I think so very highly of you, I didn't realise you think so low of me.

This is the regret I was talking about, it's probably helped along by Stolas admitting he thinks highly of Blitz but god - he is crushed. And he immediately tries to apologise but Stolas teleports him out of there before he can even process it, leaving us on a terrible cliffhanger.

God, it's a fucking mess. They're a mess I'm so scared for the next episode and how they are even going to fix this. Someone get these gay demons a therapist, please, I beg.

All in all, ow my feelings, this episode hurt, I did cry. Stolitz have mastered the art of miscommunication, but that is hardly news. Blitz seems to have got a genuine wake-up call, sort of similar to how he did with Fizz and I'm hoping that kickstarts something to help him improve, because he does need to. At the same time, Stolas has kinda fucked up here, and does need to give Blitz more time to process since I imagine this is very fucking shocking to him. It's all one biggggg mess and god knows how it'll work out but I'm looking forward to finding out and hopefully not having my heart ripped out and spat on by the end of this season.

#helluva boss #helluva boss blitz #helluva boss stolitz #stolas goetia #blitzo buckzo #stolitz #helluva boss full moon #helluva boss s2 e8 spoilers #helluva boss full moon spoilers #helluva boss spoilers #original content things

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deuxcherise · 2 days

Text

Collar Crimes: Red Letter

C/w: Unhealthy behavior, yandere OC, yandere male, Eris being Eris, gender neutral reader, reader has more personality in this one, comfort, fluff, angst (?), mentions violent action (such as plucking out eyes), flashback scene, may include annoying use of "my" a lot, includes a picture of a simple sponge cake (because why not? You'll see~) A/n: So I happened to come across those Chad skits from SNL (yeah, I know I'm late to the party) and I was also thinking of how Eris met the reader. So this is kind of a prequel to Weasel In, I guess? I highly suggest reading Part 1 before this, but do as you like. Enjoy~ Masterlist | Part 0 (you're here!), Part 1, Part 2

There were many times in your life when you had almost regretted taking on this 9-to-5 customer service job.

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today? Or is there something on your mind today that you'd like to share with me, my dear?”

Huh... Hah... Huh... Hah...

Accompanied by some strange heavy breathing, you hear a growling male voice say, “Are you home alone–”

You immediately hang up.

No, you definitely regret taking this job, but unfortunately it pays too well for you to just up and quit. As a result, it's been a good five years since you started, and you've gotten quite good at your job.

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today? Or is there something on your mind today that you'd like to share with me, my dear?”

It has been a while since you've questioned your work name, but you have long since accepted it. Your company, Fruity Friends, was created by some closeted man (he has long since went public with his sexuality and is married to his highschool sweetheart. Good for him!)

He felt that people needed someone, a stranger, who they could talk to without the fear of being outed for anything. A noble endeavor, no doubt, but you believe he might've failed to account for the most… unscrupulous individuals who should be going into proper therapy instead of taking advantage of a nice-sounding voice.

Then again, being an anonymous voice on the other side of the line was far better than your last job, where you had to wait tables for the mafioso in a very, very scandalously short waitress outfit. You were quite popular because of your unintentional moe gap where you would say some of the cringiest lines in history in a cutesy voice while wearing the stiffest expression. You couldn't help how blank your face tends to be.

You were glad that everyone else, including Remy, the most buffest chef you have ever met who worked there, were forced to share the same outfit, but you were sure that sooner or later you'd be kidnapped by one of those criminals if you continued to work there.

…..

Of course, it wasn't easy. This was the mafia after all. It could be debated whether or not you were a good person, but you had successfully manipulated one of those dogs into letting you leave scot-free. The particular tactic you used? Uh… yeah, that's another story.

“A-ah… um… h-hi there… I'm… Eris… um…”

Some of your clientele have been nervous wrecks, so you have quite a few scripted lines to choose from. This one chose the most basic package, but you always bring your best.

“Hello Eris~ What a lovely name. A pleasure to meet you! How are you?”

You hear him mumbling to himself on the line before he comes back. “Um… is this… really confidential?”

Ah… you hope this isn't one of those perverted bastards like the one earlier. This one sounds too cute, it would be such a shame…

“Why yes, of course, my dear Eris! Everything you say here is completely safe with me. And if you don't believe me, then believe in the contract that had brought us together. There is nothing you say that can be taken as evidence! Rest assured, you are safe here with me, here at Fruity Friends.”

You hear him gasp. “O-oh…okay… Um… I-I'm… your dear Eris?”

Aww, how cute! You hope this customer becomes one of your loyal clientele. Still keeping up your cutesy persona, you answer, “Why yes. And I am your Lychee~”

“O-oh… M'kay… my Lychee…”

From then on, Eris would call for you every single day for months, except for the weekends. Calls could only last about an hour, as per the package deal, since that was the company policy to accommodate multiple customers per day–unless they were willing to pay multiple times.

On the following Mondays, he'd call in to check up on you and pout about how much he missed you and wished you could talk to you all day every day. And you, in your persona, would reply that you wished you could talk to him all day too.

Lychee is a cute person, someone who likes to hang out with their friends, who likes to party all day and all night, who likes to share the most scandalous gossip from their supposed life. Lychee is someone who wants everyone to like them, always doing their best to fix their reputation should they ever mess up.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about all of that. Who has time to party and hang out with friends and share other people's business when you have no safety net to fall back on if you were ever to go jobless? Forget about reputation, you were already used to people making assumptions based on your appearance.

That being said, you quite enjoyed your conversations with Eris once he became more comfortable. Most of your topics ranged from philosophical takes such as:

“Which is better to eat first first? Steak or salad?”

“Depeeeends! I heard Americans usually eat salads before steaks and the French eat steak before salad. So it's up to you, really, ya know?”

“I see! … Hey, do you think graham crackers are cookies or crackers? I think they are crackers, but what does my Lychee think?”

To things that happened to him recently:

“LyCheeEeeEe!” he whines on the other side of the phone, voice clearly indicating he's been crying. “My LycheEee.”

You play along. “WhaAaaAt, my dear ErIsssSss?”

“T-there…” he sniffs. “There was-was this guy…”

“Awww, noo! What did this mean guy do, my dear Eris? Tell your Lychee.”

Once a week, Eris would encounter some mean dude who'd insult him and then he'd come to you for comfort. How he always ends up in such situations is beyond you.

And he's always… always does something about it a week later.

“My LycheEeeE.”

“YeeSsss, my dear Erisss?

“You know that one guy… you know the one I told you last week who I keep meeting in the subway, the one who kept saying I keep looking at him funny and keeps shoving me?”

“Yeaaaah?”

“I finally ripped his eyeballs out! So he can't tell who's looking at him wrong or right anymore! Isn't that great??”

Due to the confidentiality clause, unfortunately, whatever a customer says is not liable to use as evidence. Even if it means letting a serial killer loose.

“That's greeaaaat! You feel better now, don't you, my dear Eris?”

“I do, I do! Hehe~”

Such a troubling life… You'd never admit this to anyone but sometimes… listening to him makes you feel better about your uneventful life, only having to worry about keeping your job, keeping a roof over your head, and keeping your belly full.

Besides, what's there to worry about? Your identity is unknown and your persona is too friendly to get on anyone's nerve.

“LYchEeeeE! My LyCheeEee.”

“YeeEeesss, my dear Eris? What's wrong? Tell your Lychee.”

You listen to him bawl his eyes, cooing and offer your sympathies, like a mother to a child.

“M-my best friend… he said… he said…

Oh, his best friend. Eris has never revealed his friend's name, but based on the description he gives you, sometimes you wonder why someone sweet and innocent like Eris was friends with someone like that.

“Aww, no! Was he being a meanie again? What did he say?”

“He said… that I should get a life and stop talking to you.”

You feel your heart drop. “R-really? He said that?”

Ah… well. It isn't the first time a customer has left you, or rather left Lychee. Lychee’s job was to help people get through difficult times, but in the end, Lychee wasn't a real person. Lychee couldn't leave their job to hang out with friends. Lychee couldn't attend parties and weddings. Lychee couldn't fall in love. Lychee was just a faceless voice who only spoke once you paid the price, and even then only for an hour or two out of the entire day.

That being said, it wasn't like it didn't hurt when your customers got on with their lives. It was just… inevitable, and you had long since accepted that. Perhaps, this was a sign that it was time for Lychee's Eris to move on. He's spent over thousands of dollars just to speak to you over several hours per day over a span of four months already, single handedly paying your entire rent. As a fellow human who has to work their ass off in order to live, you can't bear to become the reason he goes broke.

“Yeah… but I don't want to! I love talking to you, my Lychee! And you love talking to me too, right? So I don't see why he’s telling me to have a life. I am living! Ugh, stupid…”

You mull over all kinds of lines but in the end, you whisper, “... Maybe, he's right.”

…..

“What?”

“Listen, Eris-”

“Your Eris. I'm your dear Eris, my Lychee.”

His voice sounds sharp and metallic… you've ‘slipped’ up a few times, and he'd always softly correct you with his usual whiny voice. Not like this.

You cough, getting back into character. “Yesss, you’re absolutely right! My dear Eris. Sorry~ LiSteeEeen. As much as I love talking to you, I think that you're spending way too much money on me! I feel flattered and all, but you're going to go bankrupt at some point!”

Silence on the phone… until you hear him laugh loudly like you had just told him the funniest joke ever. Moments later you hear him again. “Aha… ah… Is that what you were worried about, my Lychee? Aww, you're the best~ That's why I… But don't worRrrRry~ As the eldest son in my family, I inherited everything after my parents died. Enough to last me years to the point I don’t even need to work. Money isn't an issue at all, my Lychee.”

You feel a sharp pang in your chest. “Bas-” You clear your throat, the curse word almost slipped from under your persona. “Bestieee, even if money isn't the issue, your mental health must be taking a toll. Besides your best friend and of course me, your Lychee, do you talk to anyone else?”

“... Why should I? I only need you, don't I? Also, I'm not your ‘bestieee’, I'm your Eris.”

“R-Right, my dear Eris~ I'm just saying. One day you'll want to… you know? Hug someone, hold hands, kiss, or even just… be next to someone. In person. We both know, I can’t do that for you. Don't you want a more… authentic relationship or friendship with someone? Besides your best friend. Besides me.”

A pause. “... Is this part of your character?”

You blink. “What do you mean, my dear Eris? What character?”

“... Huh… Come to think of it… I’ve never thought about it before, but is Lychee’s not your real name, right?”

“Ehhh? But it is! I wouldn't lie to you, my dear Eris.”

Another pause. “… This line is confidential, right?”

“Mmhm! Always have been!”

“Then what’s your real name?”

You pause, your eyebrows scrunched together as you hold the phone against your ear. “I… My dear Eris, I told you. It’s Lychee. Your Lychee!”

You hear him sigh, before he suddenly hangs up. You look at your phone, very confused and worried. He has never hung up on you before. Did he just… leave?

After several weeks, you figure he did just leave. Fortunately, there are always new callers on the line along with some really loyal customers who've been patiently waiting for you to pay them some attention. Still, it bothered you… but at the same time, it relieved you. He must be finally living his life now instead of spending it all on you.

It’s a shame though… He was such a charming fellow, so open with his emotions and sweet with his words. It just wasn’t the same with your other customers, which the number of clientele were going for some reason…

You finished your 9-5 job, dragged yourself out of the office to the bus stop, waited for the bus, got on the bus, waited until your stop, got off your stop, dragged yourself home, entered your home, locked your door, and collapsed on your couch, still in your work uniform. Same as usual. Why your company felt it was necessary to have a uniform when your job only requires your voice is beyond you.

You close your eyes and let yourself be whisked away to dreamland…

…..

Shick shick shick shick!

You wake up at 3AM, according to a glance at your clock, to the odd sound of… whisking? You slowly sit up, get off the couch, walk to the source of the noise, and find a handsome man wearing your apron, standing in the kitchen and whisking away at some white fluff in a bowl.

You rub your eyes. What the heck are you looking at?

The man stops whisking open looking at you. He smiles bashfully. “My Lychee-”

WOW! Has it really happened? You’ve finally reached the point you’ve overworking your mind and body to exhaustion! And now you’re either hallucinating things at 3AM or you’re in the middle of a nightmare! There’s only one person in the world who calls you that and there is no way in hell Eris would be in your kitchen at 3AM, covered in flour, and smiling at you like this is all normal! WOW!

You slap your cheeks with both hands. Hard.

Eris gasps, dropping the bowl of whipped cream on the counter. He grabs onto your hands and inspects your face with a worried expression. “Lychee! Are you okay? Why did you slap yourself?”

His hands feel oddly very real and your cheeks oddly hurt really bad… but there's absolutely no way Eris is actually in your home, right? Why aren’t you waking up?

“Lych–No, I should say (Y/n), right? I would call you my (Y/n), but you're already mine, so–”

Oh heck no.

You take your hands back and head out of the kitchen, take out your phone from your pocket, and quickly tap on the screen.

Briiing. Briiing. Tch!

“Local Police Department, how may we–”

Your phone is suddenly snatched from your hand. Eris looks at the phone before he hangs it up and throws it out of reach. He moves so quickly you don't have time to react once he's wrapped you in his arms. He places his head on your shoulder, his lips tickling your neck. “(Y/n)... Don’t do that. I missed you… so much… ”

You could only stand there, hands awkwardly hanging there at your sides, trying to absorb the bizarreness of this situation. “W-why are you here? How’d you get in?”

“Never mind that, your dear Eris is here now.”

You take deep breaths. “Eris…”

“That's me~ I'm your Eris~”

“Right… Uh, could you… let me go?”

“I don’t wannaaaa.”

You clear your throat, collecting yourself. “Okay, fine. Listen. I think… I get why you’re here. It’s because you like Lychee, right? Well, sorry, but the bad news is I'm not anything like Lychee. Lychee is just a character.”

“I know.”

“Okay… so that means you don’t know me!”

“Okay.”

“Wha– What part of ‘you don’t know me’ don’t you understand? We’re strangers! You have no reason to be here.”

“Mm, sure.”

“What?” You give a heavy sigh.

“It’s not like you’re a complete stranger to me,” he starts off. “You're (Y/n). You like (favorite animal), (favorite fruit), (favorite TV show), (favorite dish), (favorite pos–)”

You begin to sweat as you listen to him list of all of your favorite items, before moving on places you’ve ordered food from, to private details, such as your age, your highschool, your address, your family home address, even your Social Security number–Who the heck is this man and how did he find these things out?

“–and that’s all I have so far. What do you think, (Y/n)?”

“Get. Out!”

“Nooooooooo!”

He squeezes you harder, to emphasize the point that he’s not going anymore. You try to twist and turn your way out, but you find his grasp to be extremely difficult to get out of, despite how gentle he’s being with you.

“(Y/n)... You know…” he mumbles, making you still. “For the last few days, I finally realized what you meant the last time we talked. It’s true. One day, I will want to be with someone. In person. Hold hands with them. Hug them. Kiss them…”

He leans into your ear and whispers. “But I have also realized that I would only want that… with you. Only you. I love you, (Y/n).”

…..

“I’m… sorry. I don’t…”

“Oh, that’s okay!” He releases you and steps back, interlocking his fingers with yours instead. A blush appears across his cheeks as he bashfully looks at you with his head tilted down shyly. “We can start over. Today can be our Day 1?”

His fingers have incredible strength, you unable to escape their gentle grip. “What? Day 1 of what?”

“Oh? You don’t know?” he says, softly swinging your hands side to side. “Day 1. Dating.”

…..

“Who says we’re dating?” you screech, wanting so badly to rip your hands away from this deranged man.

“Eh?? What do you… Ohhh! I haven't asked you properly yet, huh? Sorry, love. Will you date me?”

“No, we've just met.”

“Oh.” You can see the cogs turning in his head, before he tilts his head and giggles. “But that’s exactly why we should date. People date to get to know each other more. Silly, (Y/n). But if you need further convincing: as you can see I’m handsome, and I have money! Lots of it! You’ll never have to work a day in your life. I’ll be the best boyfriend for you.”

Tempting as that sounds, the idea of placing your life into the hands of someone else just like that? Hah! No thanks. “No.”

The cogs are turning again before he reaches another answer in his head. “Ohhh, I get it! I'm so dumb! It took me so long to realize… You haven’t realized you love me too, right? That's okay. I can wait. Hehe~”

You stare at him incredulously, speechless. What the he-

Ding!

“Oh!” He drags you back into the kitchen before letting your hands go to don your oven mitts and take out a freshly baked cake to flip it over a rack. “Ta da~! Mmm, sorry. I was hoping to decorate it before you woke up but… well, who needs frosting anyway, right?”

“What… Why?”

His eyes widen in surprise. “Eh? Did you forget? Oh, love. It’s your birthday today. Happy birthday, (Y/n)!”

-----

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday, dear (Y/n)~ Happy birthday to you~ Now, make a wish!”

You closed your eyes, made your wish, and then blew all the candles out in one go, ensuring your wish would come true as it always does every year.

You received two presents to open. One from your Mom and one from your Dad. That’s how it always was on your birthday, or your Mom or Dad's birthdays. Just the three of you. No one else. Even now in your teens, your birthday party had only three members and that was all you wanted.

The day after your birthday, they went grocery shopping.

It was a normal day. They let you sleep in, since it was a Saturday.

You had woken up to heavy knocking on the door. The police? They came bearing heavy news.

There was a drunk driver on the road.

Your birthday was the last time you ever saw them.

Your wish didn't come true. It didn’t the year after that. And the year after that. And the year after that. It would never, ever come true ever again…

-----

“(Y-Y/n)? Do you not like it? I’m s-sorry…”

Your vision turns blurry as memories flood into your mind. Your eyes fill with hot tears to the point it flows down your cheeks. Your face twists in agony as you try to stop the dam from breaking in front of a stranger but your knees give out instead.

Eris catches you and you both slowly sink to the ground. He holds your head gently against his shoulder, letting you cry out years worth of contained sorrows and to your heart's content as he pats you on the head, cooing at you and offering you words of comfort. He doesn’t understand, but at least you aren’t pushing him away.

Once you've run out of tears to cry, you whisper with a broken voice, “Thank… you… for the cake.”

“Anytime, my love, anytime.”

“... I'm not your love.”

“Shh, shh… Take it easy… I'm here for you…”

“Idiot… Just leave me alone…”

“M’kay.”

…..

“I said leave me alone. Why are you still here?”

“Mm… because I don't think you want me to leave you alone right now.”

"I..." You sigh, giving up completely.

…..

Grumble...

“(Y/n), before I go, would you like to eat some cake?”

“... No thanks.”

“Oh… Okay. Well, I also got a present for you too.”

“Don't want it.”

“Can't return it, I'm afraid,” he sighs dramatically. “It costed so much too…”

“... Fine. I'll take your stupid gift and eat your stupid cake.”

“Yay~”

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herprincess · 3 days

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slips into ur writing reqs :3 i heard you were doing hcs my guy. ikyk my ver of velritz but i'd love to hear ur interpretation of them if u wanna drops some headcanons of them ;3 velritz nation demands a sacrifice/j

ohhh yes i GLADLY will . i love me some velritz

⭐️velritz headcanons🎤

💘just meeting🤞

during the interview she thought nothing of him but she’d caught his eye unlike any other celebrity

he studied her body language, all her little filler words, every last bit

she hated him at first, let’s be so for real she hates everyone but but ven😭

he thought he was all sneaky and shit when he asked for her number after the interview for ‘recontacting purposes’

she knew what it was really for *insert vine boom* but she let him get it anyway

he definitely texted her a few times just to be left on read

she let veneer study his texts a few times

“oh yeah no, he’s deeeeefinetly trying to fwu.”

“oh NO.”

“what are you doing, girl? talk to him!”

ritz stops bothering her, but then she misses it??*not clickbait*😱

so she finally texts him!

it all goes downhill from there/j

💋dating 🎤

‘i can fix her’ energy fs

he has to lightly smack her arm when she makes a snarky comment to someone in public 😭

he loves how flustered she gets when he compliments her

with any other person she’s like “oh, i know, i know!”

but when he does it to her she’s like “wait what actually?”

her love language is quality time and buying expensive gifts for him

his is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation

he likes to wake her up with his annoying interview voice

“goooodmorning or should i say *AFTERNOON* to my beautiful girlfriend, velly! it’s a beautiful but chilly *AFTERNOON* up here in rageous at about 1:30pm and 46°!”

“SHUT UP!”

ritz is almost a year older than velvet/the twins

so she calls him ancient .

for this night, I can’t believe that’s it’s finally me and you, and you and me, just us and your brother veneer🙄

after her shows, she is way to exhausted to do anything so he gently takes off her makeup while she’s asleep

they take turns on choosing a color to match for red carpets/events

he learned to braid just to braid her hair every night

they make fun of eachother ALL THE TIME (jokingly ofc)

⬇️song that reminds me of them⬇️

#trolls #trolls band together #velvet and veneer #velvet #kid ritz x velvet #kid ritz #velritz #velvet trolls #trolls 3 #headcanons #trolls headcanons #requests

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kingofanemptyworld · 1 month

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hey you know what would be fun? a fic where the Royal Guard follows through with their plans to make Ichigo the new Soul King and Grimmjow promptly loses his shit because what the actual fuck Ichigo has already given these people literally everything, twice, and this is how they repay him? recruits Nel and Harribel and Urahara and Yoruichi (after Nel sits on him for a while because Jesus Christ Grimmjow you can’t storm Soul Society by yourself no matter how much you’ve powered up) and it’s the Ryoka Invasion all over again except with pissed off arrancar instead. I just think it would be neat

#king’s court #bleach #grimmichi #orihime and Chad are also there #Ishida is questionable considering the timeline and his feelings about soul society in general #I just have this perfect image in my head of Grimmjow finding out and just going to town on the shinigami over it #like ‘no one in all three fucking worlds deserves that self righteous asshole martyr #but he chooses all over you. over and over again. and for what? how many fucking times have you abandoned him?#my plans haven’t changed I’m gonna tear his throat out with my teeth #but I can’t fucking do that if he’s locked away like some fucked up fairytale princess now can I?’#Nel in the background laughing to herself because wow grimmjow nice save there definitely no one suspects you’re soft for Ichigo #other shinigami come around to help but grimmjow trusts zero of them besides Urahara and Yoruichi so. toss up if he lets them do anything #anything important anyway #okay I’m done #I haven’t read CFYOW btw I just know this is a thing that’s talked about in it #also I know a fic like this exists for ichiruki but I’m deep into my grimmichi era so

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twilight-zoned-out · 28 days

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Edwin Payne is a dweeb who gives terrible weak comebacks, who can be unnecessarily petty, or overly smug, who is inordinately pleased with himself when wearing detective gear and using scientific gear, the thought never crossing his mind that he might not look as cool as he thinks he does, who carries a continual and utter absolute delight at acting like the characters he loved to read about, who was enthralled by his magazine detective and adventure stories and who wears a similar smile when he sits on the bed watching Scooby Doo with Niko, 'these detectives are terribly clever,' whose board game collection is mostly variations of Clue, who requires payment (because any good detective is worth some kind of payment) but whose idea of payment is whatever interesting object the client offers to add to his collection, who has encyclopedic intelligence he clearly dedicated hours to learning, who has a particular way of acting and speaking like everything is of vital importance, because to him, it is.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #niko sasaki #crystal palace #dead boy detective agency #Edwin is a legitimate nerd #I get serious 1960s Peter Parker vibes from him #he reads the equivalent of comic books instead of hanging out with other people of course he would absolutely love cartoons #he's not good at fighting but excellent at running #chooses to only wear extremely proper and practical clothes unless he's very relaxed or stressed #of course he likes being a dead boy detective it's literally what he spent all his time reading #when he's being overly smug and self-important he reminds me of Peter Parker on Venom in Spider-Man 3 #like he thinks he's owning the floor but literally nobody else gets that impression #but then there's other moments where he's - not exactly intimidating but also someone you can't ignore #and he's so passionate about his detective work #just some thoughts #character analysis #he definitely has flaws #but he is also an incredible nerd #twilight-zoned-out #I can definitely see how the original character was supposed to be 12 #but it still works how they did it #his height would definitely not work if he was 12 lol #he liked detectives so now he is a detective #it had to be said

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seventh-fantasy · 7 months

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li xiangyi, yin, and femininity

we all know that li xiangyi is a character of fractured identities. and li lianhua is an unreliable narrator to his own story. these make him not the most straightforward character to study. but I've believed in treating li lianhua as a part of li xiangyi, rather than separates. and there must be a common thread that ties all of him together. thus, I offer what I have found to be the most useful lens to use to view him as a cohesive whole, regardless as li xiangyi, li lianhua, or any other identity he may reinvent into: his 阴 yin qualities. (yin of yinyang)

this framework suggested by the drama's text itself has helped clarify to me his strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and struggles. by identifying this constant, too, makes it so much easier talking about what has changed in him.

[to the, hopefully growing, boli lhl hivemind @markiafc @ananeiah]

there are some notes on the concept of yinyang and chinese conceptualisation of gender I have to preface with.

[disclaimer: of course, I'm not even trying to cover a tip of what experts have extensively studied and debated in a depth it deserves. all I'm doing is try to parse the broad, fundamental ideas that are needed to explain my blorbos through my own spotty brain filter. so there bound to be nuances I've overlooked or some degree of my own interpretation. pretentious but needs to be done.]

阴 yin and 阳 yang are concepts characterised by passiveness, darkness, gentleness, femininity etc, and proactivity, light, toughness, masculinity etc respectively. a very key and handy concept to have in mind is their relationship to each other - which I'll not attempt at explaining better than literal scholars have:

Yin and yang exist only in relation to one another internally as the way warmth-coldness only exist relative to one another. Furthermore, when using yin-yang as an organizational schema, achieving balancing harmony is always the goal, not domination nor subordination of one to the other. [x]

while yin and yang can be symbols of femininity and masculinity, it doesn't mean all female are yin and all male are yang. it's certainly not a strict 1-to-1 equation. the concept of gender in chinese context is more social than biological. this suggests room for fluidity, and shaping of identities, often through social rituals as one journeys through life. it also means that there can be femininity in the masculine, and vice versa - in fact, that's only healthy because you need a good balance of the two worlds. no one part is better than the other. if you think of the two components as relative to each other, they are always interacting and affecting each other, rather than being strict and inert binaries. simply put, it needs to be kept in mind that there are greater nuances in applying yin and yang to the definitions of gender, and to avoid at all cost a simplification of this framework into a binary.

sure, the show has implied that lxy's powers and energy are yin-coded. but femininity is only one of the multiple attributes of yin. so how are we extending lxy's yin to femininity specifically? it's in the text that substantiates and qualifies lxy as feminine. dead women being used as proxies to his character. being literally dressed as a woman in order to put himself into their shoes and feel what they've felt. adopting a name that happens to be very, very feminine - 莲花 lianhua (lit. lotus flower) (it must be caveated that chinese names are NOT gendered. but there are just some names that are more feminine than others.) him coming to lead a life revolving around traditionally feminine, domestic things as li lianhua. him having interactions with the women around him like he's in his own element - no pressure and tension at all, unlike with all the other men.

as such, I'm more willing to use yin and femininity interchangeably in discussing lxy (while it's not necessarily applicable to every point that will be mentioned albeit there being some degree of implied association). and it's for the sake of elucidating what I feel is an intention or very plausible reading of the canon text in parsing feminine experiences in lxy's character. and thus, his queerness.

one last note is that taoism is going be mentioned quite a bit as well because of how much it as a philosophy honours the yin quality. its key tenets include valuing passiveness and inaction as a form of action, and submitting to the nature of things. and we will see how those come up in lxy's life too. (though I'm not gonna attempt to deep dive into it here beyond broad strokes of it.)

a huge part of li xiangyi's yin actually manifests in him being a passive person. this applies not just to li lianhua, but also li xiangyi. I know. ok wait hear me out. the idea of yinyang is after all components that can change and are relational to each other: thus, there were points in li xiangyi's life when he was less passive than other points, but they ultimately don't match up to the degree of aggression displayed by other men around him. so relative to their display of proactivity and aggression, he can be considered as passive. the best example is that of shan gudao proposing to launch an offensive on jinyuan alliance, while lxy - as much as he was arrogant about it - was standing his ground on not taking action in favour of peace.

it has already showed up in his childhood as well. he wasn't a particularly competitive child: 从来都没有谁要和你争 nobody has ever thought of competing with you over anything, he told sgd as he recalled of their times growing up. it was in fact sgd who was desperate to control and override lxy's presence. baby lxy did not hesitate at all over giving up on winning in favour of protecting his only rare few close relationships left in the world (given how hard-earned relationships are when they're non-familial !!!!). as much as I resent the one-dimensional writing of sgd, he has served as a very strong marker to highlight on lxy's yin.

I've harped on it several times before but this is the time I finally get to explain it proper: my own theory is that li xiangyi became an unparalleled swordsmaster because of his yin/feminine quality, not in spite of it. an interesting point that had been out in the open unclaimed until it was brought up in our friend group is that, li xiangyi does not actually fit anybody's conventional image of a 武林盟主 wulin mengzhu (ie. ruler of wulin). it would most likely have been some burly, muscular, ultra-masculine dude. even if they don't look like the demonic monk, it should be someone more like di feisheng. but. it's li xiangyi, the boyish, delicate-looking kid, who came to the top. (no wonder people - mostly men - love or love to bully hate him like weak men hate powerful women??)

"why didn't they cast someone who looks more like a wulin mengzhu (read: traditionally manly)?" no, no that's precisely the point. nobody said wulin mengzhu have to look manly. and also who is to define the manliness required to be in a place of authority? (or in my other meta, we would ask, who is to define anybody gets to have the authority over anyone else at all?)

by taoist ideal, gentleness is the most refined form of strength. li xiangyi has been haunting and distracting me in my chinese calligraphy practices lately because I'm thinking about how this must be the closest to what it felt like lxy becoming the best swordsman in jianghu. (so pretentiously brainrotten of me, I know, BUT IT'S REAL and I'm suffering.) mastering a chinese art is essentially about mastering a delicate balance between force and gentleness; being able to draw force from softness 柔中带刚 and an ability to maintain this balance. a beginner will instinctively hold a brush for the first time with brute, unrefined force. some fairly reputable contemporary calligraphers, according to my teacher, can be seen as being either too soft or too forceful - but are still able to pass off as good enough. it's then, the master of masters who will have the sophistication of a firm yet flexible control of the brush with the appropriate use of gentleness/laxness that produces a harmony of strokes. this idea extends to any other sort of chinese craft or practice including traditional chinese medicine, and I believe, swordsmanship too. I'm taking a fucking leap of faith here to say this because I practise NO sort of (chinese) martial arts, I must caveat. (someone who does may want to say something...) but theoretically that should be how it works.

it is not for no rhyme or reason, or *handwaves* that lxy emerged to the top AND is almost undefeatable. among a competitive, forceful (ie. yang) wulin, li xiangyi stood out with a power and energy defined by yin (ie. gentleness and stability) that led him to create his signature 扬州慢 yangzhouman. it is characterised by 慢 slowness (my calligraphy teacher says to us all the time to take it slow), and also described by dfs as 中正绵长 - which I would best describe by painting a picture of a steady and stable stream. these precisely speak of the essence of a mastery of gentleness as strength to me.

conversely, dfs's way in mastering power is very largely premised on taking action because he literally had no other choice in the environment he grew up in. both of them develop in opposite ways. it was the case of gentleness for lxy clearly because he grew up in a safe, nurturing environment that had allowed him to be slow and steady at his own pace, drawing on his natural gifts.

now top of the wulin world at 17, li xiangyi founds sigu sect. li xiangyi, the boy before becoming menzhu and li xiangyi the leader of sigu sect are not the same.

how then did a (relatively) passive boy like lxy end up founding sigu sect. this lxy is the one who was fostered into competition - though not in an abusive, twisted way. in fact he was raised in a rather taoist way by his shifu: to be honest with yourself and respect your opponent. so he honoured whatever powers he had been bestowed with by nature. he gives into it. even so, at another level, I just have a sense that shifu and shiniang's competitive marital spat had an insidious effect on the boys...though the detrimental effect was more on sgd than lxy. baby lxy feels like a sweet-natured kid who was just in his own zone, you know - some (aka sgd) would say, too much of him even, to have not realised what was wrong at all with his shixiong for years.

that's not all of course. I've always gotten the vibes that his attitude behind forming sigu sect felt more like, this is what all the good men of jianghu do and I will have to do it now especially that I'm the best. it didn't feel particularly personal to me, but rather what would have been expected of him by the social climate of wulin jianghu (eg. lxy saying to 光耀师门 bring honour to his teacher). it's definitely not an expectation from his shifu, who explicitly told him that he was never expected to become a noble figure of any sort, but just to be alive and contented. as concluded by the man himself as li lianhua: "有些人入了江湖是为了立心，而有的人入江湖为的是立命。我却不知道自己真正想要的是什么。some people enter jianghu for the cultivation of the mind, others for a cultivation of a meaningful life. but I never knew what I truly wanted." he was ultimately, unwittingly a passive player in his own story of becoming the great sigu sect leader.

(at this point, as a side note, I do wonder if there were any other similar sects or alliances that function the same as sigu sect that came before it. because I'm damn well sure there must be something, as likely as there must have been generations of wulin legends who came before lxy. but of course, this is not what the story is concerned with at all and I'm ok with that.)

it's crucial to point out that, even despite this being the phase of his yang in the display of taking action and enacting firmness, lxy had still done sigu sect with the sole purpose and manner of upkeeping peace and order (in the way of the pro-universal love, anti-aggression mohist 侠 xia leader of the people). he's still very characterised by yin in my books, especially when vis-à-vis to sgd.

a li xiangyi full of himself and made himself too useful to the people was only bound for a great asteroidal fall, in the concept of 物极必反 - or in taoist lexicon 反者道之动 (ie. anything that has reached its limit will only start developing in the opposite direction). if you think you're above all, you can only go down.

this manifests during the next time he took action - and it was one so forceful that it overpowered even his opponent, dfs who ended up being the passive, receiving party in this case - was in initiating the battle at donghai 10 years ago... and gee oh boy. it didn't end well - for both of them, but even more so for lxy. (dfs was like 'tis but a scratch (shrugs)' as compared to him being ripped off his tendons by jiao liqiao like nezha did to the dragon prince. truth is he had to go into a 10-year healing retreat served by his entourage. :p) ok, I digress.

xiao zijin was quick to attribute sigu sect's fall to lxy's arrogance - in turn setting the stage for lxy's 10 years of self-hatred and the framing of lxy as a villain? irresponsible figure? by jianghu. (god forbid girls do anything! ok for legal reasons, this a joke.) lxy lost his mind in ways I believe he never had in his life there and then upon seeing his shixiong dead. so, you could say he led the jianghu world to ruins out of love (using this term loosely). but it feels inaccurate to say it's due to arrogance. he did not do that out of self-importance or ego, especially when the revenge for sgd was a collective decision made by sigu sect as we know from the flashback. so when llh pinned all fault on himself for being arrogant in the past, it is with caution to take his words because that's the unreliable narrator in him speaking.

anyway, it's precisely li xiangyi that is capable of bouncing back from such a fatal crisis, equipped with his yin and a mastery that gave him the power of flexibility.

it's extremely vital to re-establish that literally the only thing that was keeping li xiangyi alive, physically, as li lianhua is yangzhouman. (monk wuliao literally said that to lxy even though he did facilitate in saving him.) it's the yangzhouman that was drawn from lxy's mastery of yin. without yangzhouman, li xiangyi would not even have the chance to become li lianhua and undergo any needed process of transformation. without li xiangyi, there would have been no yangzhouman. no li xiangyi, no li lianhua, get it?

the point is not to deny the change li xiangyi wants to make and has made. but to acknowledge that change isn't about complete erasure and destruction. something from you survives. something in you had kept you alive to have you come so far, regardless of all the bad bits that you want to denounce of. you've always been worth it.

bringing back the thing about his new name: the distinction must be made that he did not pick it because it was feminine but it just so happened a feminine name had resonated with him. (read: he didn't necessarily identify as a woman but identified with femininity. at least within the parameters of canon text.)

he also made an interesting choice to retain his surname for someone who was desperate to sever ties from his past. hmm. or maybe he wasn't that desperate? when li lianhua says li xiangyi is dead, I believe it meant that li xiangyi the sigumen menzhu is dead rather than li xiangyi as an entirety. li lianhua is a returning to the path lxy could have gone if he did not establish sigu sect, the path that shifu wanted him to take. when he walked to the doors of sigu sect in the aftermath, nothing was actually stopping him from going back (people were still around and alive, instead of all dead people, you know)... except for himself. taking that action would have been too much for him. so he went with the flow of life giving him a chance at rebirth and walked away. there, inaction as a form of action.

zhan yunfei and qiao wanmian have said to li lianhua, oh that doesn't sound like li xiangyi at all. but has it been considered that, maybe it was sigu sect's lxy who wasn't the real lxy? sigu sect lxy was one big performance of the values of masculinity and heteronormativity that llh had came to an awareness of, and eventually struggle with again and resist against in the final year of his life. there had only been some glimpses of his true nature allowed (validated by fang duobing talking about lxy at his altar).

imho, most flashbacks of lxy during that period felt impersonal and more like a template of a hero expected to marry his girl at 18. going through all the motions and steps of a normative life even before he was old enough to grasp and explore his own identity and what it meant in the world. no wonder he denounced so much of what he had done as lxy including liking girls. walking away then also meant a walk away from those duties and expectations. li lianhua is li xiangyi liberated from masculine duties and heteronormative performance.

in doing that, he had the opportunity for the first time in his life to explore what he truly wanted, at least within the parameters of what he could afford to do at that point. he could go on to build a domestic, feminine life within the space of jianghu (as I've established here). it's a kind of feminine lifestyle that doesn't quite exist in mainstream society - being a woman there meant to stay put in a domestic space without much room to move socially. nor did it exist in wulin jianghu because even the women there like shi-guniang and jlq were expected to be masculine, aggressive, competitive. so building a mobile home in the space of jianghu is his way of defining the life he wants and can have. li lianhua is the extension of femininity in li xiangyi - and one that can be free.

it's also worth talking about in my opinion what is one of the most important and a favourite dihua moment: when dfs said to lxy that his greatest weakness was to like being a hero. and a swordsman should be without weaknesses. I'm forever wrapped up in how many layers this can be read in. was he mad at lxy for liking to be a hero or having weaknesses, or both? if the former, it was dfs criticising, based on lxy's public reputation, lxy's oversized illusions about being a hero - a figure of masculinity with an unrealistic sense to uphold noble goals eg. saving the world etc. that is actually perfectly logical coming from dfs, the straightforward, no-nonsense, morally neutral guy with no illusions about heroism (in this case, he feels more like a yin). but at the same time, we should understand that lxy's motivations behind the donghai battle are more personal than noble. if any, it was actually the opposite of noble - it was like he was acting out of the role of a caretaker of his family, and at a cost of the peace and order of jianghu he was set on guarding(!!) dfs also knew that lxy was there just for his shixiong. and so, dfs, who happens to be the epitome of yang, can be read as a symbol of masculinity disapproving of lxy for being sentimental and emotional; for having the "feminine" desires to simply want to defend his family (not saying those are exclusively feminine traits but they have been conventionally associated as feminine). I think both layers of reading are correct and should work together to contribute to the complexity of their characters. (we can see how it contributes to lxy and dfs being the perfect yinyang halves to each other, which I will come back to briefly touch on later.)

for 10 years he lived a life of seclusion and staying-in-his-own-lane a taoist would be proud of. he knew he was dying and has always been ok with dying, as he claimed. but did he want to die? to think of it, it was the opposite. because in those 10 years when he could have 100% just taken action to take his own life, he didn't. in fact, he lived on and took care of himself in the way shifu wanted him to. he had simply preferred letting nature run its course. if bicha didn't take him, he wasn't gonna do anything. but if he died one day very soon, he would be ok with it too. sure, he was maybe banking on a lead to sgd's whereabouts to appear during his last years alive but that clearly wasn't the only thing on his mind for NINE years because he didn't actively go out seeking for that either. this is basically him telling dfs that he would just lie in the sun and wait for the sweet release of death, if dfs were to force him to fight. not even the mortal threat from dfs was enough to move him into action of fighting back or killing himself.

time and again, lxy as llh was dragged into fdb's cases but not only that, he also maintained an impersonal distance with them. it's starkly different from the usual (wuxia) hero archetypes (for eg. fdb) who would be more impassioned and personally invested in the plight of the victims- or unlike most seemingly aloof protagonists who would somehow grow emotionally invested over time. one of the many things I love about llh is that he never tries a second time to persuade people out of their decisions he finds unwise (eg. him just wanting to move on in response to the girls in 女宅 insisting on staying behind with their slave master at first.) he will not interfere in other people's choices made in their own lives. it's not his business. he didn't even want to be there, to be honest.

however as the story progresses, more and more people - especially men, his past, and the leads to the truth came back to demand and taunt him into doing something. they vary from well-meaning people without any harm intended such as fdb intruding upon his private space completely uninvited and qwm wanting him back; to dfs merely seeking him as a mean to an end initially (eg. I only need him to live long enough to have one last fight); and finally, on the other end of the spectrum, outright aggressive and hostile people like sgd and xzj who wanted him to die. under all this pressure, he tried his best to deflect, but he does waver especially when it comes to matters concerning the people he cares about aka his obsession wish of 10 years of looking for sgd's remains that had lied low until fdb entered his life, and then later on taking revenge for his shifu.

looking for sgd became his final bid at taking action. he was operating on a slim chance of getting some emotional closure from finding out his shixiong is dead for real, yes. what a good plan. but objectively unnecessary. or surprise! uhhh...finding out his beloved shixiong is actually alive and would strangle him for one corn chip? AND OH NO IT GOT WORSE- uncovering a devastating truth about his shifu's death that he could have totally gone on with life fine without knowing if he had continued not caring.

but it is sometimes just impossible not to care - it is only human to care. and he is human, not an icon in the image of a hero. so he took a chance, once more, and it killed him in unprecedented ways. it's donghai all over again. things in life don't go as planned. you fuck around and it fucks you back. finding out the truth behind his shifu's death and his family background from the past did nothing for him as li lianhua living in the present.

it's no wonder that this lxy decisively relinquishes the desire to take action in the end. he goes back to letting nature run its course. and this time, stands firmly to it despite everyone begging him otherwise. wangchuan flower could only give him a recovery (or survival?) rate of 30%. there's a 70% chance of failure and even in the 30% he was not sure what he was to become. in comparison, dfs took a 10% chance game of survival in a heartbeat, and it pushed him to new heights. that's how they differ: he thrives by taking risks and action while lxy the other way round. so, something like that has happened before and he wants none of it again.

he leaves lotus tower, only taking his horse and a sack - relinquishing almost every other material belonging he had - and sets off on a journey. before xzj interrupted...where to was he going?? I wonder. we don't know for sure, I think? and are we allowed to know? that makes the scene he had with xzj an understated inflection point in the very last part of his journey. yes, he was already on his way to...maybe die? but not necessarily. you don't have to travel distances with your belongings for that, right? or speak to dfs personally about not wanting to fight? (borrowing one of @ananeiah's takes.) regardless, he was definitely leaving behind jianghu - not only wulin jianghu (he already did that 10 years ago), but also the jianghu space he had carved out in the last 10 years.

what sparked the decision to jump off the cliff in him was dfs's words from the night of their wedding 10th donghai anniversary: 横扫天下容易，断相夷太剑不易 conquering the world is easy, breaking xiangyi sword is not. in the original context, dfs was talking about defeating lxy being harder than conquering the world. but when it came to this scene, it was to lxy about forsaking the very last worldly possessions he had after already giving up on lotus tower and hulijing (including releasing his horse), especially his only connection left to swordsman lxy.

perhaps it had dawned on him that, wanting things at all was bad for him. in the last 10 years, he lived a life of seclusion, wanting very little. but he had still wanted things. there were still things he couldn't let go of that had led him to this state. despite having lived on an identity inspired by a buddhist teaching for 10 years, maybe it was only at this point that he was finally the closest to reaching an understanding of it. (I wish I was knowledgeable enough right now to dive into the possible buddhist reading here but alas. I'll leave it to our resident expert @markiafc)

it doesn't quite matter in the end where he was going after all. what mattered was that he literally went where the water took him and we're not supposed to know where it ends. I'm not seeing this in a bad and pessimistic way though. I think the relief in all this is that he had tried his best to within his abilities. also it's a form of enlightenment in relinquishing a desire, an obsession, a need to take any more action in order to live well. thus his ending felt to me relatively tender, empowering, and kind - albeit bittersweet and heartaching - than other possible kinds of ending, in a story where it was very possible for him to have died under the knives of his opponents or bicha at any moment, outside of his control.

if you've come so far in this post, congratulations! but also a reveal is that... you're not immune to the dihua propaganda threaded throughout this post. :P

as mentioned, other men like sgd and xzj in lxy's life were incredibly hostile to him. their yang nature overwhelmingly powers his yin. but dfs is different. dfs is the yang counterpart that fits perfectly to his yin.

dfs's yang is one that contains yin, that mirrors lxy's balance of yang in yin. it was suggested in text they are yinyang-coded meant to complement each other, given that whenever wangchuan flower's yin vs yang properties were discussed, the two men were always spoken about in the same breath. more importantly, as with the above few analyses of dfs's words playing a big role in shaping of lxy's choices with multiple meanings - as well as their day-to-day interactions - we can see that they constantly play off each other.

dfs's yang energy has been used to help lxy prolong his life (though not saving him entirely), while lxy has used his yin energy to save dfs and subsequently helped him attain his breakthrough. dfs has also helped lxy in his breakthrough of yin but not in the same way as dfs's cultivation of his combative powers, and rather, it's for lxy an understanding of his own path to take in life - a cultivation of the mind (both times 10 years before and after). given how significant dfs is in the shaping of lxy's realisation of the yin path - alike his shifu has, it's no wonder that they were the only two people lxy had imagined in his last sword dance of a farewell to jianghu.

with each of them coming together to form the perfect yin-yang model, they're a harmony of yin and yang representing the cosmos. what I also love is that they didn't start out as a perfect fit, but only towards the end of the story was the harmonisation completed, which makes sense for two components that are always in a flux influencing each other. the fact that they were number 1 and 2 of wulin, and being the only ones capable of understanding each other in a level nobody else could... it all reinforces the cosmic sense of their relationship. they're the halves to a whole, fitting in a specific way nobody else can.

(I mean. technically this is going into the space of extrapolation based on a tangential interpretation of canon text, so do take it with a pinch of salt. but of course this pinch of salt can do wonders for a shipper's feast... :P and this certainly could have been a meta of its own expanding on dfs's side of the analysis, but this is it for now in this context.)

to think of it, li xiangyi has actually died more than that one time that turned him into li lianhua. first was a death of him as a nanyin royalty - I resent having to bring up nanyin like it should hold any weight to the narrative as far as I'm concerned, but the point being that he had a completely different (familial-based) life before that still stands. then he had a rebirth as li xiangyi, disciple and swordsman to his shifu and shiniang, and later died again when li xiangyi the sigu sect leader took over. lxy the sigu sect leader died at sea in the battle 10 years ago and came back as li lianhua. (just like nezha, died after battling at east sea and rebirthed from the lotus) li lianhua then dies by the end of the drama.

there can be a myriad of interpretations as to what exactly happened to him, including the possibility that he's still alive. regardless, we can agree that li lianhua as an identity has ran its course, and he had to evolve again. but into what form?

in the line of thought of yin and femininity, and how his transformation has been in an increasing degree of presentation of femininity - even way back when I was watching the show, I had the idea of him living socially as a woman post-li lianhua. I don't know what he would be realistically doing or what could be practical for him in such an identity. but conceptually it was sensible and compelling to me before diving deeper into the details. (I have more elaboration to do on this that I won't be talking about here publicly but it is in the same strain of idea as this other comparative meta I wrote.)

I think the next possible identity lxy can assume - alive in the material realm or not - is one that will be beyond a material being. a nameless entity. once you've gone through the phases of life - from not knowing to knowing, and perfecting knowledge, then to the surpassing of knowledge - you surpass all worldly existence, and become one with the cosmos.

I end this off with an excerpt from Tao Te Ching's Chapter 41 (I'm not pretending to have read the whole book ok but I couldn't resist including this):

明道若昧，进道若退，夷道若纇 [...] 道隐无名 The bright path seems dim; Going forward seems like retreat; The easy way seems hard [...] The Tao is hidden and without name. (x)

the character translated into "easy" is the same 夷 yi of li xiangyi's name. somehow this seems to encapsulate the journey of his life: one that seems blessed and smooth-sailing but ending up to be rocky and turbulent. but at the end of the day, after all that he had been through, he will become hidden and without name.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhl #lhlmeta #my posts #a big win for the inaction fandom. lxy would have been patron saint #this inevitably turned into a 'lhl is a taoist and buddhist story if not a very chinese story' meta hbhjbjhbhjjb #the last thing i do before going to sleep is write this meta. the first thing i do after waking up is write this meta.#i feel so insane writing this. it kept growing like a monster. do you think this is a joke it's like my part-time job now #but it's one of the few times in my life i have confidence in my insanity. so.#crazier thing is. this meta is approaching 6k words yet i still think there must be things i haven't covered.#the last section is so nuts idk how i even wrote it guys i think i was possessed #it's also like the most pretentious way to put that he's dead in this world ok hjbjhbhjbhjbjbh #to be clear iirc the drama didn't say LXY'S POWER/ENERGY IS YIN in the same way it literally said dfs's energy is yang #but it's definitely implied by the explanation of the flower's healing properties for both of them. on top of yangzhouman #also fuck. another reason he didn't choose to save himself was so dfs could have the yang flower which he believed was what dfs wanted #thank u frens mark and ana for indulging my brain in the first time i brought the lxy as woman thing up. for it to have come this far #ofc disclaimer is that a lot of this is my own reading. it doesnt have to be agreed by everyone #i would be very happy though if any part of it resonated with anybody #also a good part of the analysis is based on my memory of the show. though i did revisit parts selectively to verify. sooooo. yeah.

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