#is this what it feels like to have someone care like actually kinda give a fuck about your safety and well being???

[alexwilltellyouthings]

I came to terms with the fact I am actively anti cat king/edwin and I have to talk about it I'm sorry

Like, you ship whatever you want fr!! I just have a lot of thoughts about this

The Cat King is a very interesting character. Really, I like him and I find him consistent in his actions. That is precisely why I don't see what he feels for Edwin as anything close to being in love, and I don't think he even means to be.

He cares, sure, and he's kinda obsessed with getting his prey (affectionately), but that's it. He wouldn't go too far for Edwin and he doesn't. "I'll be waiting for him when he gets out of hell" while someone else is getting him out of hell. Also, knowing that Esther is going to literally torture Edwin forever and not risking his lives to give a warning — which of course, why would he? He just got killed for trying to help, he's not about to do it again. And I don't think it's wrong of him! Because you don't risk your life for a crush!!

(well, except if you're Monty. He actually was about to risk his life for Edwin, trying to get him out of the forest. Just putting this out there)

So I mean, I get the appeal. The sexual tension, the power balance. Man, I actually love how that changes during the season and how Edwin has the upper hand in the end and knows it. It's a very nice dynamic that they have and I get having fun exploring it.

But I was flabbergasted to see people wishing it was endgame, wow. Not trying to be shady, I genuinely did not EXPECT THAT from so many people.

And I wasn't even going to talk about the problematic parts of their relationship (the coersion, the mind tricks, etc), because I've had my share of problematic ships, this is pretty tamed in comparison, lol. But I think it's important that people understand that it's problematic, and then if they decide to keep shipping it anyway, that's cool.

There's a final major point, which everyone already knows, but I'm gonna say it: you can't fall in love with someone like Charles and expect anyone else to beat that. No one will.

#i really don't want to shame shippers REALLY i'm just thinking about this for days #it's just so out of pocket for me #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the cat king

[myriadsystem]

.

#personal #i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed #but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much #theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is #if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical #which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path #to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but #ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that #i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope #hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up #with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot #please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please #im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation #but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated #i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮‍💨 #and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today #then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after #i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much #help me im drowning

[stellardeer]

I feel really bad cause my spouse got me an iPad for my birthday a few years ago and I never use it...

He got it for me because I had been lamenting that I wished I had a drawing tablet with a screen instead of the second hand wacom that I use.

But when I unwrapped it I was shocked and surprised and worried immediately. I thought "why did you get me such an expensive gift..." and he said his dad helped pay for it. And then he told me why he got it and I was like oh okay that's nice I guess... but I never wanted an iPad. I wanted a drawing tablet. I was immediately concerned that I wouldn't like it. And I didn't want to sound ungrateful but I expressed that concern cause I was worried it was a mistake to get me such a gift and maybe he could return it... but I ended up keeping it and he got me an apple pencil to go with it and I bought and downloaded procreate to give it a chance.

I hate using procreate. It's a good program but I liked the program I was already using. I like drawing on my computer. Also the process of getting images out of procreate and onto my PC is stupid and cumbersome, and I dont like interfacing with websites from the iPad, I like using my PC. I just wanted a tablet that I could use with my computer that also had a screen. I don't even like Apple products, I never wanted to own one.

If I go on a trip and I want to draw I usually just end up bringing a sketchbook because I like that better than drawing on the iPad.

I gave it a shot for a while but I haven't touched the thing in like 6 months, and I feel bad that he spent so much money on it and I never use it :/

But I also can't complain about it cause it will make him feel bad but like idk, I wish he had just asked me what kind of tablet I wanted or something I mean I didn't even know what I wanted I had no serious plans to upgrade my tablet anytime soon, I still don't even know what I would want if I did. I have a $1000+ piece of fucking technology that I hate and I would rather use the thing that I paid $35 for.

#also honestly i forget sometimes that my monitors are touch screen #ive not even tried just getting a touch pen and using my monitors i dont think... #i cant remember but i think i even had the touchscreen monitors already when he got me the ipad #like idkkk i know i sound ungrateful cause it was expensive but like i immediatly was like why tf did you get me an ipad i dont want this.. #but telling him to return it would have hurt his feelings so much... #its a fucking huge one too its like the biggest size they have #why did he do that #why did he think i wanted that #ughh im fucking awful why am i mad at him for getting me something nice what is wrong with me 😑 #idk i think on some level it just shows like.. a lack of judgement on his part #like you didnt even consult with me before spending a bunch of money esp when we live together and share expenses #like he had to get his dad to help pay for it he could have spent that money on something way more practical #i dunno man i know i should appreciae anything that anyone wants to give me but.. #its always kinda pissed me off when someone gives me something i dont want like it makes me feel like #they dont even know me and dont care what i actually want or like idk idk maybe thats selfish #he was just trying to make my life easier and get me something i had talked about wanting #but with big purchases like that i feel like you cant just fucking pick something you need to know what the person actually wants

[moonsidesong]

played the fangame danganronpa another with a friend and i didn't really like the ending but i very much enjoyed mekaru bc she's just woman byakuya togami. i'm going to talk a lot in the tags now

#the translation was kinda weird and bad but you get used to it after a while #i do plan on playing the sequel just cause me and my friends enjoy playing murder mysteries #oh uh spoilers beyond this point i'm gonna give some hot takes for. the 3 followers that care about dangit grandpa #anyway uh. ending. yeah i'm definitely biased bc i don't really like sad endings for the most part #but i didn't really. like it. #i'm not really opposed to the idea necessarily of the protagonist NOT being a survivor it's definitely interesting #but given that this game's take on hope vs despair is that 'hope is created not found' #i thought it kinda sucked that they just left maeda/utsuro to die despite obviously being the one suffering the most #also i didnt. like. kisaragi much. him/his alter ego being the epic savior in the end sucked bad not gonna lie #i thought he was really interesting in his initial appearance bc he was someone who Knew what was happening #but was rendered unable to communicate any of it bc of his brain damage #but then he dies (which was expected wasn't really upset about it) and from there you only have flashbacks to go off of #and then he's just kinda boring #it'd be one thing if he was a heroic reliable person we knew from the start but he's just this. guy that shows up in chapter 5 #and we get told he's like the best we should trust him and believe in him but. like. idk this guy! it didn't feel earned #anyway kinjou was. a character. for sure. #i liked his arc and all but when they revealed in the ending that Oh actually his beliefs on crime haven't changed at all lol<3 #he still only thinks in extremes even after all that mess about recognizing the murders were done in gray area circumstances #so like what was that all FOR #also. like. Goddddd. GODDDD. AKANE TAIRA. UGH #when she gets revealed as the mastermind and she's like going crazy off the walls sillygoofy despair lady I thought she was really fun!!! #i enjoyed her quite a lot!!!! #but then utsuro gets involved and she's just immediately extremely pathetic #she just immediately loses all presence bc she just stops taking any authority as the mastermind and is like ouwuoiuuh utsuro samaaaa #i thought her being a maid but actually is a girlboss would be a FUN SUBVERSION but nah we just have peko pekoyama 2: evil this time #like when are we gonna be done with the trope of Woman is cool and powerful until Man shes subservient to is involved and then she's a wuss #it sucks it SUUUUCKS #utsuro himself is. fine. he's basically just bootleg izuru but i didn't really mind that i thought his origins were kinda interesting #anyway i'm out of tags so i guess that's the end of my hot takes #i liked the individual cases! i liked mekaru! ending was kinda bad. goofbye

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Thinking more about the rude anons lately and just... what kind of person do you have to be to go to a random stranger's inbox, assume you know enough about them to tell them they're crazy, or that they need therapy because you disagree with them saying "actually, you should listen to marginalized people about their own oppression and experiences", or that they're a pick-me for using microlabels well-accepted and defended by the community they belong to, or...?

What kind of convoluted reasoning do you have to have, what kind of self-awareness do you have to lack, to think you're somehow doing justice by saying that psych should be used as a tool by majority society to force conformity on anyone who harmlessly annoys you or makes you uncomfortable, and yet not see that historically that's how it's been and continues to be used (in ways that likely actively harm them too)?

How little do you know about psychiatry to not understand that very little of it actually overlaps with neurology, both being infant sciences, and that psychiatry as its intended separate from ableism and capitalism is simply the science of listening to people's internal thoughts and emotions and recording commonalities?

Or to not understand that since its conception, psychiatry has had a proud and storied tradition of able-minded and able-bodied neurotypicals patronizing and infantilizing us and encoding their biases on our perspectives into diagnostic manuals that they then used to imprison, torture, and kill us and other marginalized people? And then to not recognize that doing so as a neurodivergent disabled person only aids and upholds that institution?

On the other hand, what kind of justifications does one have to make to themself to say "actually, this other part of this marginalized community is the only authority on this because they are the only ones really oppressed. It's definitely not circular logic to say that all of your claims of oppression are wrong because you're not oppressed and people who are not oppressed can't claim they're oppressed"?

Plenty of these anons have been so vague I don't even know what they're annoyed about. I know the aphobic one was about a microlabel (and a fairly well known one at that, so probably your average mogai-hater guy) but the others?

"Get help" so you endorse coercive enforcement of a consensus standard of normalcy even when the deviancy you so violently despise, in your own words, is merely annoying?

"I'm just concerned, you're out of touch with reality, spend less time online", somehow you managed to hit ableism, sanism, and some pretty wild assumptions about who I am as a person when you yourself admit you came from a random reblog of mine, all at once! Like truly, what gives you the gall to presume you know anything about my life?

I'd even be willing to extend good faith and say it's reasonable to assume honesty of everyone you meet on the internet. Even with that...

Do I buy my food at a farmer's market or a local employee owned chain grocery store or a supercorp and would that last option be out of ignorance, apathy, or living in a food desert? How often do I go to the local library, what do I do there, and do I get there by bus, uber, a friend driving me, or walking/biking?

What organizations do I volunteer with, and in what capacity/doing what tasks? If I tell you that I volunteer primarily in an online capacity, is it because I'm immunocompromised and no one masks at the physical locations anymore, because my doctor is refusing to provide a mobility aid that I desperately need, because public transport is sensory and chronic pain hell, because public transport here requires a four hour round trip just to get to the Walmart seven miles away, because the primary international org I support doesn't have US locations, because we're in a heat wave that is exponentially deadly to me due to my disabilities, or because I'm simply too sick to leave the house at all most days?

Who are my friends and family? When and where and how do I love them? How much time have I spent helping my incredible partner do the hard, hard work of learning to love herself and to heal, and how many infinities more would I pour into it? How often do I play fortnite with our best friend even though I DESPISE fortnite, just because I love him so much? How many times do I use most or all of my spoons for the day fighting executive dysfunction so I can read another of my best friend's amazing fics, sometimes for fandoms I'm not even in, just to leave comments to build them up?

(Is our landlord fucking us over because we're poor, trans, or disabled? Seriously, I'd like to know, because if it's either of the second, we could sue for damages and get the fuck outta here.)

I mean, that's just it. You don't know me, and I don't know how you can convince yourselves that you do enough to waste both our time being - well, an annoyance! Like, this is not a vent post, I've made those already, I just truly don't get it.

I mean, do you get some trivial satisfaction of feeling like you've done your social justice for the day by telling some random stranger that they're "insane"?

Does it make you feel superior to tell said stranger that they think non-aspec queers are "whores" for having sex, ignoring their near-CONSTANT aggressive posting about the importance of sex positivity and the harm of whorephobia, puritanism, culturally christian ideals of sex as "sinful", and how this impacts ace people, aro people, genderqueer people, and people of queer sexualities?

(Seriously, how do you act like you know me when ignoring my entire blog? Are you lost?)

Does it make you feel like a good little activist to tell disabled people to touch grass, and ignore every disabled person saying "uh, hey, you should consider the ableist intent behind that statement, or at the very least the ableist impact it has"?

Are you coming from a place of privilege or hurt? Or a mix of both? Are you someone who is not marginalized who is still dealing with genuine problems that aren't being listened to and addressed by the people in your life? Are you a marginalized person who is caught up in the conflation of privilege and oppression and evil, so you're too afraid to recognize your own privilege because that wouldn't be a morally neutral fact but evidence that you're an irredeemably bad person?

Are you a person with a mix of marginalized and nonmarginalized identities (white and trans, goy and plural, perisex and queer) who isn't able to get enough help with the harm you do face and is worried that you'll receive less help within your community if you're seen as an evil oppressor, not recognizing that there are people already receiving even less help and more hurt in your community due to the opposite?

People can say "it's not that complicated", but the truth is, people don't do things for no reason. They may not be self-aware enough to identify it, the people around them rarely have enough context to guess at it, but it's there.

It could be petty; they don't like us and want to make it our problem out of spite. "You wasted our time and made us moderately annoyed so we wanna do the same to you."

It could be out of some twisted sense of justice. Maybe they truly believe they're doing good. A lot of people do. Hell, I believe plenty of r//adfems actually believe they're fighting for women, and very few actually recognize the fascism in their own arguments, in the ones they ally with, or anything. It's a much more extreme example than some rando on tumblr, but the same could apply at a much smaller scale.

But is there some other motivation I'm missing?

I just - I've sent anons and non-anomymous asks when I didn't understand an argument being made for something. If I disagree with someone on something unimportant, I'll either leave it, reblog a joke about it, or block them if I find them annoying enough. If it's something important that they're approaching in good faith, which I assume to the extent of my ability to do so, I'll try to engage without being an asshole.

If it's important and they're engaging in bad faith, I may either reblog a rebuttal or make my own post, but I'll certainly block them - because what's the point in continuing to argue with someone whose goal is to undermine someone's personhood (or the fee things of similar weight) by any means necessary?

I just truly don't understand. Anyone's welcome to contribute to this, btw.

As an afterthought, this anon hate is bigoted, so I don't want to trivialize it. Ableism, sanism, and aphobia are still a big deal even when they are online microaggressions, not just because they cause harm but because these people exist offline and have a material effect on the physical (and medical/legal/social) world. Even the immediate harm is bad, though!

That being said, I want to recognize that I feel lucky (knock on wood) to not have gotten any of the really nasty shit again yet. I haven't seen any suicide baiting or "Keep Yourself Safe"s. I haven't been sent gore or death or rape threats or fantasies. I haven't had anyone tell me that I deserved the horrible traumas that I've been very open about, that I'm lying about being a survivor of things that are literally against T/OS to mention on here, or that they hoped my disabilities were terminal again.

It's uh, obviously coming from a place of trauma to have that as my baseline of "really bad". It's why I respond to anon asks to vent (via screenshotting), why I so vehemently defend the boundaries I set by blocking - not just that I have a right to, but am justified in doing so - why, when I get a fee asks like this in quick succession, and one mentions a reblog, my first thought is "how much worse is this gonna get?"

I know I'm making myself vulnerable by even talking about this. I guess I just hope if this doesn't get through to them, anyone who genuinely thinks this has even a lottery's chance of changing a random stranger's mind about anything will get over that. It's not "there's a tiny, one in a trillion chance". It's not even zero. By doing this, you are actively entrenching anyone, of any belief, further against yours. You are working counter to your own goals.

Hell, it's part of why I'm so block happy. I'm not trying to change the minds of the people I refute. I'm just trying to counter their misinformation, logical fallacies, and emotional manipulation to anyone else who may see the posts.

But also... consider maybe just... not. Sending rude anonymous asks to someone already so sensitized by horrific harassment campaigns that at best they'll block and vent about you and move on and at worst you'll trigger them. I mean, maybe that's the goal of some of you? But if so, why not come in guns blazing with the suibaiting? Why even pretend to be a good person to yourself?

Why?

I don't get it.

#the one by SAS was admittedly kinda funny #like. somehow I give less than zero shits about what they think and their ask only further solidified that #like if you're gonna act like my abuser of course I'm going to care about your opinions even less than hers #(and I care negative many about her opinions. but like... she's a family member so there's feeeeeelings wrapped up in that) #(you're nobody to me) #I refute their posts a lot because they're dangerous and sometimes even cruel #and admittedly I can be a bit of an asshole! lol. I can live with that #I also wonder if they're stalking me from an unblocked account what they think of me continuing to talk about them #are they like “you wouldn't say you didn't care so much if you actually didn't” because hun have you ever MET an autistic person #autistic people will repeatedly emphasize how much we don't give a shit #(somethinsomethin the trauma of people never believing that we're honest about our feelings+projecting onto us what they expect us to feel) #are they getting an ego boost from this? #if so hiiiii I'm always happy as a narcissist to give someone an ego boost even if I consider them a reprehensible human being #(I have NPD and if you're gonna be anableist ass about it gtfo) #(incoming norc orbuse anons in 3...2...) #anyway #stars out peace

[pepprs]

ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings

#purrs #sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having #a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated / #sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing #everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg. #mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look #mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive #actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou #thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move #but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f #gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are. #but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real #anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK! #but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest #w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b #but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the #day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like #onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu #much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t #care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying #delete later #OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my #first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do #this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t #then go to counseling 🥳✌️

[kay-is-dying]

rewatching last night's raw and Kevin on commentary actually calls Rhea 'the mastermind behind the Judgement Day' alongside the wildcard SEE WE'VE BEEN SAYING SHE'S THE REAL LEADER SINCE THEY KICKED EDGE OUT AND EVERY WEEK THEY VALIDATE US MORE YESSIR

#rhea ripley #SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT ON SHOW I LOVE BEING RIGHT YESS RHEA NATION WE UP #it's actually kinda great that someone outside of the Judgement Day acknowledged it and those within it haven't #Keeps that energy of her being cunning and darkly intelligent on an emotional and strategic level #She's controlling them without making them feel controlled #The big boys feel like they're on equal standing with her & Dominik just feels like he's being *guided* instead of controlled #When the facts are she's just allowing them to feel that way. She allows the big boys to mostly do as they please while nudging them #towards the direction she thinks is the best for achieving their goals whenever necessary—and seeing as she isn't stopping them from #doing what they want and when they're doing what she wants it usually works out they don't feel like she's got them leashed #Dominik might feel leashed but he doesn't feel the weight of the collar negatively—he knows he's not quite on equal standing with her #(hell he probably knows he's not quite on equal standing with the big boys either) #Dom isn't seeing the leash as confinement and control #He's seeing it as guidance and affection; 'oh I'm Mami's special boy'! He doesnt see it's of one of the strings she's puppeteering him with #And she's careful to give him enough slack to let him feel that way without actually having to worry too much about him straying too far #She's playing smart‚ the way to keep people under your thumb is to make them feel like they aren't there—and she's doing that perfectly #So perfectly in fact that even with that guy saying she was the mastermind‚ she's got nothing to worry about cause they don't believe that #POETIC CINEMAAAA #gotta raw tag this scuse me #monday night raw

[hecksupremechips]

The most validating thing about having a brother in law is sometimes I’ll make a comment about my parents being kinda horrible and he’ll just be like "DUDE FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT IVE BEEN THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS IT"

#the klock keeps ticking #like i remember about 2 years ago when it really clicked with me that my parents were worse than i let myself believe #i had like covid and so to be safe i completely isolated myself in my room and only came out when no one was around #or with a mask on just to get food or use the bathroom that was it #and like when i had mostly recovered i stopped isolating and i looked around and noticed huh the house is kinda a hot mess #and i realized it was because i was the one who kept up with like basic cleaning and making sure things were in order #so like a little bit later i was in the car with my sister and brother in law and i was talking about this #and i was like ‘i think ive realized our parents are kinda unable to take care of themselves without me doing it for them’ #and my BIL was like IM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY NOTICED THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY FOR YEARS #which was just so validating i was like okay so im not just being an ass like this is an actual problem #and idk a more recent thing that maybe uh. made me a little bit emotional was we were basically at a cool place where you can climb shit #and he was just kinda there helping me when it seemed i was gonna lose balance to make sure i didnt get hurt #as well as my sister too and i was like oh god is this was like. basic affection feels like??? #is this what it feels like to have someone care like actually kinda give a fuck about your safety and well being??? #so yeah i maybe am still not okay with that and still dont know how to feel anymore 😭 #so i guess even though hes stinky and i like to bully him I GUESS hes actually a pretty cool guy and he does make my sister happy and he #treats her with respect and hes very good with their cat so yeah maybe i actually really appreciate him and care more about him #than i do my parents and most people in my family #but i cant say that cuz then itll like. go straight to his head 🥺 #and he still wont play pokepark 2 with me even though he PROMISED its been like 4 years since he said that and WE STILL HAVENT PLAYED IT 👺👺👺

[horce-divorce]

I'm feeling very cranky about something stupid and I can't figure out what my problem actually is... like sometimes I can sit there and be like "why are you ACTUALLY mad though" and I can kinda get to the bottom of it eventually. but. I actually don't know what my problem is rn. I feel like shit. I don't wanna be dwelling on dumb stuff before top surgery but I don't have anyone to like. talk to. I'm just stuck in a hotel room w my mom and I can't cry to her lmfao.

a few ppl sent me well wishes for surgery but I don't have anyone I can text all the way thru it anymore... I really miss having a real bestie. like an actual mutual one. I miss knowing what it's like for anyone to feel the same about me even plantonically. like I really don't feel like any of my friends are nearly as invested in our friendships as I am. but maybe that's on me. maybe i don't try hard enough anymore. maybe it's always too little too late. maybe I say the wrong things. maybe I try too hard and everyone's tired. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. It feels like it's me. I'm never anyone's first choice. I'm the common denominator. It feels like it must be my fault.

#me #and like idk. i care so much when my friends are having bad times and i worry about them so much #but they don't really check up on me too or can give me space in the same way. #i had a couple ppl wish me well today and its nice they remembered #but i REALLY. need. someone to talk to today. #and I feel like no one cares about that. #they only wanna talk when its good things or good luck w your surgery or just pictures or smth #when i actually ask for company outright. which i so rarely do. #its ohh its ok. i have someone else. #or ohh idk maybe i can pencil you in next tuesday. #i just wish i knew what i was doing wrong. #i dont wanna feel like this before surgery. i wish someone was just actually with me rn. like emotionally. #idk sometimes its like. fine. i want to put more love and care into the world. i dont do it for a reward. they dont have to love me back. #it would just be kinda cool if that happened even once.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Smell Ya Later

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: you get a new body cream that allegedly attracts spiders, and someone else

Masterlist

Whenever you needed a some space from your everyday routines, you packed up your stuff and spent the weekend in your room at the Stark Tower. You had spent the day shopping and picked up a few self care items, including a new body cream you had seen online. Once night had fallen and you felt you had shopped enough, you retreated back to your room and sat at your desk to look at the things you had bought.

“Let’s see how you smell.” You said as you twisted the cap off the body cream. You had barely raised the jar to your nose when Peter appeared the doorway of your room.

“Hey.” He greeted.

“Jeez. You scared me. I didn’t know you were here tonight.” You laughed and put your hand over your pounding heart.

“Yeah, I’m spending the weekend here to give my aunt some time with her boyfriend. But, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was walking by and wanted to come say hi.” He laughed shyly.

“Oh. Well, hi.” You smiled and gave him a little wave.

“Mm. Something smells really good in here.” Peter sniffed the air as he walked into your room. You were pretty sure this was the first tike Peter was actually in your room and that made you gulp.

“Really? I don’t smell anything.”

“Maybe it’s just the air. Girls rooms always smell good.” He shrugged.

“Are you in a lot of girls rooms?” You asked teasingly but were dying to know the answer.

“No.” He chuckled. “But I remember from going over to girls houses for group projects and stuff in middle school. Plus, Natasha’s and Wanda’s room always smells good when I walk by. Not that I go around sniffing everyone’s rooms.”

“I’m starting to think you might.” You mumbled out of the corner of your mouth.

“I don’t, I swear. Did you just go shopping?” He laughed and leaned against your desk. You sucked in a sharp breath over the close proximity and nodded your head.

“I did. But I didn’t get anything exciting.”

“What do you mean? This looks very exciting. What is this?” Peter asked as he held up a fluffy headband with a large bow at the front.

“A headband to keep my hair out of my face when I wash it.”

“Oh. I thought it was a giant scrunchie. Or a really small tube top.” Peter pursed his lips as he turned the headband over in his hands to try and understand it.

“No. Neither.” You laughed shyly as you watched him touch your things.

“What’s this thing?” He asked and held up your heartless curls rod.

“It’s for heartless curls.” You replied, making Peter look at you in confusion.

“You know. Curling your hair. With no heat.”

“This tiny pool noodle curls your hair?” Peter asked in disbelief and held up the limp rod.

“Yes. You wrap it around this and sleep in it. Then you wake up with curly hair.” You explained and wrapped a strand of your hair around it to demonstrate.

“Okay. I’m getting closer to understanding. What role does this thing play in all of that that?” Peter asked as he picked up a claw clip from your desk and opened it a few times.

“You use this to clip the rod onto your head while you wrap your hair.” You informed him.

“Wow. Sometimes I feel like girls live in an entirely different secret world than boys. Like, I just put water in my hair and say I’m ready. But you guys have all these fun fancy contraptions.” He smiled as he played with a scrunchie on your desk.

“Yeah. I guess it is kinda fun.” You shrugged as you looked at all the silly contraptions laid out in your desk.

“Woah. What’s this thing?” Peter gasped and picked up your jade roller that was still in the package.

“It’s called a jade roller.”

“You’re gonna have to explain.” He said and looked to you for help.

“I haven’t tried it yet but basically you put it in the refrigerator and then roll it on your face to decrease puffiness in the morning.” You explained as you took it out of the box.

“And it works?”

“I don’t know. But it feels good.” You shrugged and rolled it up and down your cheek.

“I can’t imagine that medieval looking thing feeling good.” Peter mumbled.

“It does. Come here.” You beckoned him with your finger and he leaned down closer to your face. You smiled timidly at him as you rolled it up and down his face.

“See? It feels nice, right?” You asked in a soft voice.

“I’ve never experienced this feeling before.” Peter said and closed his eyes peacefully.

“You should get one.” You chuckled and rolled it on his forehead.

“I don’t know. Mr. Stark already made fun of me for my Lana Del Ray poster. If he sees this in my room he might think I’m a little weirdo.”

“Who cares what he thinks? He has a “nail girl” for his weekly manicures and pedicures. And I think it’s attractive when a guy cares about his hygiene. Which says a lot about my standards now that I say that out loud.” You realized and thought about that for a minute.

“Maybe I will get one then. Because I care about my hygiene. A lot. More than the other guys you know, I bet.” Peter bragged, making you laugh.

“I would not have a hard time believing that.” You answered honestly.

“Why do you need all this stuff anyway? You’re so pretty.” Peter asked as he gestured to all the things on your desk. Guy cracked a smile at his casual compliment but didn’t make a big deal out of it.

“It guess it’s like you said. It’s fun. I like using these things when I’m having quiet time by myself.”

“I like that. That’s something new I just learned about you. I also didn’t know your last name until right now.” Peter tapped a school paper on your desk that said your full name. You laughed as he stood up and headed towards your door. The moment was ending but it was the first time you really talked to Peter one on one in that way so you still took it as a win.

“Seriously. Something smells really good in here.” He said from your doorway.

“I think I smell it too now. Maybe somethings in the air.” You smiled shyly.

“Must be.” He smirked. “Goodnight, L/n.”

“Goodnight, Parker.” You called after him. Once he was gone, you stayed looking at the doorway with a starstruck smile on your face. You didn’t know what prompted Peter to talk to you all of the sudden but you were thankful to whatever it was.

The next day, you went downstairs for breakfast and found Natasha and Wanda in the kitchen. You stopped to talk to them for a minute as you finished rubbing your body cream onto your elbows.

“Ooo. You smell good. What is that?” Natasha asked you.

“It’s a body cream from that brand Sol De Janeiro. I’ve never used it before but it had good reviews.” You told her as you smelled your wrist to catch the scent again.

“Wow. It’s really nice.” She sniffed you again. “You smell like how Moana feels to watch.”

“Thank you.” You smiled. “But when did you watch Moana?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of luxury sunblock or every flower scented candle at Yankee Candle at once.” Wanda added.

“That description also works, thank you.” You nodded in agreement.

“That reminds me.” Natasha began. “I need to get a new perfume. I’ve become totally nose blind to mine and I can never tell-“

“Hey guys. Mmm. Something smells good. What is that?” Peter burst into the room suddenly full of energy while loudly sniffing the air. You smiled and waved at him and he immediately went over to you.

“It’s this one.” Wanda said and pointed to you. Peter put his hand on your back and stepped closer to you to taken whiff.

“Oh, yeah. It is you. You smell amazing.” He told you.

“Oh, thank you.” You laughed shyly. “It’s just my body cream.”

“God damn. It smells so good.” Peter gushed. “I’ve never smelled anything like that. What’s it called?”

“Um, I’m not sure. I could find out and tell you, though.” You offered.

“Yeah, sure. I probably wouldn’t use it because it smells like a woman angel that turned into a vanilla bean but I wouldn’t keep a jar around just to sniff. It smells amazing.” He insisted and moved close to you to inhale again.

“So you’ve said.” Natasha snorted and gave you a look. You gave her a confused look as Peter put his hands on your hips and nose right on your shoulder to smell you.

“Sorry. I just really love that scent. It makes me feel like that scene in Ratatouille.” Peter said.

“What scene?” You looked over your shoulder to ask him and tried not to scream over how he was holding you.

“When that guy eats the ratatouille.” He said simply. “Holy shit, L/n. You smell like a flower that was dipped in crystallized sugar and then rolled in fairy dust. I could smell you all day.”

Just then, Tony walked by and saw how close Peter was to you. He frowned when he heard Peter sniffing loudly and rolled up the magazine in his hand.

“Down boy. Bad. Off of her.” Tony said as he smacked Peter with the magazine.

“But she smells so good.” Peter whined.

“No. Bad. Bad boy.” Tony shook his head and continued hitting Peter with the magazine.

“Fine.” Peter grumbled. “Bye.”

“Bye.” You waved to him as he left the room. Once you were alone with the girls again, they looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“What?” You wondered.

“How long has that been going on?” Wanda asked you.

“How long has what been going on?”

“You and Peter.” Natasha replied.

“What? There’s nothing going on between me and Peter.” You forced a laugh and looked to the side.

“Well he clearly wants there to be something. I have not seen a boy that down bad since high school. Wait, how old are you guys again? 14?” Wanda asked.

“22.” You corrected. “And Peter is not down bad for me. I’m pretty sure he likes this girl from his school.”

“What’s her name?” Natasha asked.

“Liz.” You answered immediately. “I mean, I don’t know. Who cares?”

“Oh, so the crush is mutual?” Wanda nodded in understating.

“No. Nothing is mutual.” You scoffed. “This isn’t liberty.”

“Oh, you have it so bad.” Natasha laughed at how flustered you were getting.

“Nuh uh. Maybe you like Peter and you’re trying to deflect. Ever think about that?” You asked her.

“Right. I like a middle schooler who cries to Lana Del Ray on weeknights.” She answered sarcastically.

“She has very moving music.” You defended him.

“I think it’s cute that you guys like each other.” Wanda said. “And it makes total sense for you to be together. You’re the same age and have a similar lifestyle. Why not tell him how you feel?”

“Because I don’t like him.” You insisted. “And he doesn’t like me.”

“If he doesn’t like you then why was he just using you like a scratch and sniff?” Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe he just likes to sniff things.” You shrugged. “Maybe that’s his thing.”

“Or maybe you’re his thing.” Natasha replied.

“Do you really think he likes me?” You asked them hopefully.

“I always kinda thought he did.” Wanda admitted. “And After that disturbing encounter, there’s no doubt in my mind. He’s definitely into you.”

“Hm.” You hummed and thought about it. You’d always had a secret crush on him and he had no idea so maybe it was possible that he felt the same way about you without you ever realizing.

You spent the day thinking about what the girls had said. Your thinking was interrupted when Peter returned to your room that night and took a whiff of the air.

“Mm. Smells good in here.” He noted.

“I have a candle on. I mean, lit.” You corrected yourself and pointed to your candle.

“Don’t knock it over and burn your room down. That happened to Brittany Spears, you know.”

“Oh, I know.” You insisted. “I watch all the videos of her spinning in her living room.”

“Same.” He laughed. “What are you doing right now?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“I was gonna go grab food. Would you want to-“

“Yes.” You said immediately. You felt embarrassed for answering so fast but Peter didn’t seem to mind.

“Cool. Let’s go.” He said and nodded towards the door.

Thirty minutes later, you were sitting on a bench outside of Delmar’s with sandwiches and bottles of ice tea. Peter picked the place and you followed his lead when ordering because he seemed like a regular.

“And why is it flat?” You asked him as he held up his squished sandwich.

“Because it tastes better the flatter it is, duh. Try it.” He insisted and gestured to your squished sandwich. You gave him a skeptical look before giving it a bite.

“Okay. You might be on to something.” You admitted once you had swallowed.

“Thank you. Every few years my brain lets me have one good idea.” Peter said as he happily chewed his sandwich.

“What was the good idea before this one?”

“Chips in my sandwich.”

“I see. And are these ideas always sandwich related?” You chuckled.

“Wait.” He gasped. “Yeah. They are.”

“Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe you’re a natural born sandwich maker.” You shrugged.

“Maybe I’m Jersey Mike.” He gasped even louder, making you laugh. People were looking but you were too excited to be there with him to care.

“I was gonna say you’re Jared from Subway but I think he’s a pedophile or something.” You told him.

“What? No way.” Peter scoffed and pulled out his phone to google it.

“Oh damn. You’re right.” He realized. “Wow. Even Jared from Subway is a bad guy? Is no one safe?”.

“I mean, you could really say any male celebrities name and there’s like a 50% chance he has charges against him.” You shrugged.

“That’s so true. My record is clean, by the way.” Peter told you. “Until my identity gets revealed. Then I’m looking at a lifetime of property damages and breaking and entering charges.”

“Oh, for me too. I have trespassed more times than I’ve actually been invited somewhere.” You answered. Peter laughed and then looked at you fondly for a minute. You grew self conscious under his gaze and nervously cleared your throat.

“I’m sorry. I keep getting distracted by your perfume.” He admitted. “I can’t get over how good it smells. You smell like the freaking sugarplum fairy.”

“Thank you. You smell good too.” You complicated and nudged him a little.

“That’s because I stole some of Mr. Starks super expensive cologne before we left. He called me to his room once just to show me the price tag on it. I thought it was his social security number at first. And the bottle is so small. I thought it was stupid to spend so much on such a tiny bottle but now that I’m wearing it I feel like I really want to fire someone.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever felt that feeling.”

“Me either. Until today. I smell like a whole different tax bracket right now and I don’t know if I can go back to my Axe Dark Temptation spray. I don’t want to smell like the bourgeois anymore.”

“Thats so funny.” You chuckled. “Do you always take his cologne?”

“Never. Just for today because I knew I was gonna ask you to hang out.” He said before taking a bite. You paused and sat with the implication that he did something just to impress you.

“I’m flattered to know you stole for me.” You said with a coy smile.

“Well you always smell amazing so I didn’t want you to think you were hanging out with some stinky rat.” Peter explained.

“I would never say that about you. I must say, you’re the best smelling rat I’ve been around.”

“Since we live in New York, I’m taking that as a compliment and letting it inflate my ego.” Peter warned you.

“Your ego must be pretty big already though, right? If I was a guy your age who looked like you did and could do the things you can do, I’d be super annoying about it. Like, raise my hand in class using two fingers and ask a question that’s just a roundabout way to show off how intelligent I am kind of annoying.”

“Looks like me? Can you elaborate on that, please, miss?” He asked with a cheeky smile.

“You know.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Giant muscles. Giant brown eyes. I don’t know much about spiders but giant something else, I’m guessing. That spider bite served you well.”

“Stop. I’m shy.” Peter laughed and covered his face with his hands

“Come on.” You groaned. “You have to know you’re cute.”

“My aunt says I’m a handsome little lad.” He said and batted his eyelashes to make you laugh.

“She’s right.” You laughed. “But seriously. If my arms looked like that I’d only wear tight white shirts and ridiculously skinny jeans. And obviously slick my hair back like a Greaser. A full Soda Pop Curtis, if you will.”

“Oh, so you’re an Outsiders fan? This is me trying to maintain a regular conversation while hoping my heart rate returns to normal after being bombarded with compliments, by the way.” Peter said with a rosy blush on his face.

“I love The Outsiders. I’m still chasing the high I felt when my teacher played the movie for us in 5th grade and Soda Pop came out of the shower in the beginning. I think all the girls in that room remember that moment. I haven’t felt that way since.”

“Really? Never?”

“Maybe once or twice.” You smiled fondly at him.

“Well, to answer your question, I am actually a total loser at school and have an ego the size of a walnut. No one knows I can do the things I can do so I’m just another goofy goober on campus.”

“How can you saw you’re a goober when you’ve probably saved the life of every person in your school? More than once I might add.”

“Because I didn’t do that stuff. Spiderman did.” He explained. “When I’m on campus, I’m just me. It’s the only way to protect my identity. I have to let all the credit go to someone else.”

“Okay, I get not taking credit to remain humble and anonymous and what not, but what about all the other cool stuff you can do? I’ve seen you move a refrigerator with ease and casually run a mile without breaking a sweat. How do you resist the urge to show off all the time?”

“Because I wasn’t some sports star before I was bitten so it would be highly suspicious if I showed up one day and started dunking on everyone and breaking their ankles and third sports term. I only want to use my abilities to help people. Not to get popular.” He shrugged. As he spoke, you felt your crush on him turned into full blown infactuation. You’d always liked him from afar but now that you were getting to know him, he was even better than you thought.

“You’re better than me. I’d be doing backflips down the hallway and climbing on the walls. And if I got in trouble, I’d just be like “remember when New York wasn’t taken over by aliens? You’re welcome, bitch.” And then I’d swing away and probably kiss a cheerleader. Maybe even two.” You told him.

“Uh uh. My powers have definitely not gotten me any kisses from cheerleaders.” He laughed and shook his head.

“So you don’t have a girlfriend or anything?” You asked and couldn’t help but smile.

“No. My roster is empty. And I wish I could blame that on the Spiderman stuff but I can’t. I’ve never been lucky in that department.”

“I don’t understand that. You’re so…” You trailed off when you realized you were about to say too much. Peter looked at you with a coy smile and raised his eyebrows.

“So?” He asked.

“So annoying.” You insisted. “And ugly, actually.”

Luckily, he understood that you were saying the opposite of what you meant and smiled in appreciation.

“What about you? You must have a boyfriend and 10 guys lined up ready to take his place the second he falters, right?”

“11 guys.” You corrected.

“Damn. I’m sorry. I should’ve known.” He said and held up his hands in defense.

“It’s okay. How could you have known? But, um, no. No boyfriend.” You told him and watched carefully for a reaction.

“So you don’t like anyone at your school?”

“Not at school, no.”

“Oh. So there is someone.” He smirked.

“There may or may not be a boy. But he likes someone else so it doesn’t even matter.” You waved your hand in dismissal.

“Does he know you like him?” Peter asked. Your knees and elbows were touching as you sat together on that bench. You couldn’t help but notice he had gotten closer and closer as you talked.

“No.” You replied as you stared into Peter’s eyes.

“That’s obviously why he likes someone else.” Peter insisted. “I guarantee that if he knew he had a chance with you, he’d forget all about that other girl.”

“I don’t know. Do you really think that?” You asked skeptically.

“Definitely. He’d be crazy not to go for someone so…” He trailed off to give you a taste of your own medicine.

“So?” You shook his arm to urge him to continue.

“Ugly.” He replied. “Really, really ugly. Not pretty at all. Definitely not funny or charming. And a stinky rat. And ugly, if I didn’t mention that before. Ghoul like, even.”

“Thank you.” You smiled warmly, knowing he meant the opposite of what he was saying.

“You’re very welcome.” He smiled back. “So when are we doing this again?”

You did it again the next night, this time at a food truck you liked, and then a few days after that. That’s when Peter started giving you his weekends. You started hanging out more and more and grew to be close friends in just a short time. You lived at home during the week and could look forward to Peter’s almost nightly visits while he was on parol just to sit in your window and talk to you. He was so so consistent that you started leaving your bedroom door open just for him.

“I’m here. Don’t be naked.” Peter said as he climbed through your window one evening.

“I just got out of the shower. What if I was naked? Then what?” You asked as you rubbed your body cream into your skin.

“Then we’d have a funny story to tell at parties.” He said as he pulled his mask off. You couldn’t help but smile at the way his messy curls stood up on his head.

“Oh yeah? And what’s so funny about me being naked?” You teased him as you squeezed the excess water out of your hair with a towel.

“That’s not the funny part. The funny part would have been when my eyes sprang out from my head on slinkies and made an audible “boing-oing-oing” sound. Right before my head exploded and left a smoking stump on my neck.” Peter told you, making you playfully roll your eyes.

“Oh wow. Very Tom and Jerry of you.” You chuckled.

“A full Tom and Jerry. The only thing missing would be the little blue birds and or angles flying around my head but I didn’t say that one because it’s typically reserved for traumatic head injuries.”

“You’re stupid.” You laughed and shook your head endearingly at him. Peter smiled back at you

“You’re stupid.” He chuckled. “You smell good.”

You really liked being friends with Peter. The more time you spent with Peter, the more you found you could talk to him about anything. He seemed so interested in every little thing you said. You worried your crush suddenly taking an extreme interest in you might be too good to be true, so you were determined to enjoy it while it lasted. And do far, it had lasted two months.

“Hey you two. Are you gonna be hungry…” Tony trailed off when he assessed the situation in front of him. You and Peter turned your heads when you heard Peter’s bedroom door open, giving Tony a full view of the green face masks you had covering your faces. You were sitting on Peter’s bed and applying masks to each others faces so your hands were full of the green goop as well. Tony looked back and forth between the two of you for a minute but eyes kept returning to the giant pink bow headband Peter had on to hold his hair back.

“Oh.” Tony nodded. “Hm. Okay.”

“Hi Mr. Stark.” Peter waved.

“I was gonna ask if you guys were hungry. But now I don’t know how to feel.” Tony said with a blank expression.

“We’re okay. We door dashed some food. Thank you, though.” You replied.

“No problem. Try not to have too much fun, ladies.” Tony snickered and closed the door.

“He doesn’t get us.” Peter rolled his eyes and smeared some of the face mask across your forehead. You smiled at the mention of “us” and stared into his eyes.

“He wishes he was gonna have clarified skin and minimized pores in 45 minutes.” You agreed.

“45 minutes? Oh shit. We should’ve brought snacks.”

“I can go grab some. I need to pee anyway.” You told him and hoped off his bed. You hit up the kitchen after the bathroom and raised the refrigerator for some snacks. When you shut the refrigerator door, Natasha was standing there watching you.

“So. Having another stay at home date with Peter?” She asked and pointed to your face mask.

“It’s not a date.” You rolled your eyes. “We’re just two friends hanging out.”

“Right. And do you share clothes with all of your friends or just the ones you don’t have feelings for?” She asked sarcastically.

“He wasn’t wearing my pants that day, okay?” You sighed. “He just asked me to embroider little molecules into his jeans and then wanted me to sign my name. Which is very normal for two friends to do.”

“So that’s not his sweatshirt you have on now?” Natasha asked and pointed to the Museum of Natural History hoodie you had on.

“It is. But-“

“But. Mm hm, yeah?” She cut you off with sarcastic interest in her voice.

“Yes, but.” You stated. “It’s too small on him now that the bite made him all big and muscly. But his uncle bought it for him and it was too sentimental to throw away so he let me have it.”

“Oh. So he gave you an article of clothing that his dead uncle gave to him? That’s very platonic of him.” Natasha said before cracking a smile.

“I don’t know what you’re implying.” You played dumb.

“I’m implying that you two are dating but pretending you’re not.”

“What?” You forced a laugh. “We are not dating.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re not fooling anyone with that. Why don’t you just call a spade a spade and make out already?”

“Because it’s not a spade. Your mom’s a spade. We’re just friends.” You insisted and felt glad your face mask was covering up your embarrassed blush.

You went back to Peter’s room with the snacks and pushed Natasha’s comments from your mind. Peter could tell that something was bothering but he didn’t push it.

You spent the next few nights at home but headed back to the tower to spend the weekend. You knew Peter would be arriving later that night so you got ready in your room while you waited. You scrolled on your phone while you did your makeup and came across an article on the body cream you’d been wearing lately. You started to read it but got distracted by the sound of people in the downstairs. You left your room and took the elevator down to see if it was Peter, but found Wanda and Natasha instead.

“Oh, hey. I was just telling Nat I got that cream you told us about. It just smelled so good on you.” Wanda told you.

“Did you? Tell me what you think of it. It works really well but I think I have to stop wearing it. I was just reading online that apparently it attracts….” You trailed off and pulled out your phone to show Wanda the article. You got distracted by a text from Peter telling you that he had arrived. You furrowed your eyebrows and stared at the text as things started to make sense in your head.

“Attracts what?” Wanda asked you. You looked up to answer her but got distracted by Peter walking in.

“Spiders.” You told her as you stared at Peter.

“Hey, Y/n.” Peter greeted with a smile. “Come with me up to the roof. I have something to show you.”

Peter took your hand and started pulling you towards the elevators. You were still lost in thought but regained composure enough to look at the girls while you were being pulled away.

When you got to the roof, the sun was just beginning to sink into the city skyline, making for a peaceful atmosphere. There were some snacks set out and a sheet you recognized from Peter’s room.

“What’s this?” You turned to him to ask. He was already staring at you and watching carefully for a reaction.

“You said you’d been so busy with homework lately that you don’t even realize when it becomes night so I thought we could take a mental break together and watch the sunset.” Peter explained with a sheepish smile. You lit up when you heard his plan and forgot all about the article.

“You planned this for me?”

“I didn’t want you to work yourself to death. You’re gonna do fine on your finals. You’re the smartest person I know. Other than, like, the two super genius’s I know. But you’re definitely up there.” He assured you. You broke into a smile and threw your arms around him to thank him. He stumbled back a little a before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you back.

“Thanks, Peter. This is really sweet.” You said and pulled away just enough to look at him. You stayed with your arms wrapped around each other as the sun began to set around you.

“You’re very welcome.” He said with a fond smile. You stared into his eyes and felt his magnetic force pulling you towards him. Peter’s eyes dropped down to your lips before a rosy blush covered his face. You couldn’t believe what was about to happen was actually happening. He started to lean in and cracked a smile just before your lips could touch.

“God, you smell amazing.” He whispered to you. You snapped out of your trance and took a step back from him.

“Oh my God.” You gasped. “I knew it.”

“Wait, what? Knew what?” Peter forced a laugh and tried not to look as disappointed as he felt that the moment had ended.

“You don’t even like me. You’re just attracted to my delicious smelling body cream!” You shouted and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“Woah, what? I have been accused of so many things but that is truly a first.” Peter said and held up his hands in defense.

“I bet this whole thing was a set up just so that you could sniff me!” You gasped and pointed his picnic.

“What are you even talking about?” He matched your tone and pulled his hair in exasperation. You put your hand over your heart to catch your breath as you looked between him and his setup. Everything made sense now. Peter started talking to you the moment you opened up that jar of body cream. He only wanted to hang out with you once you started wearing it. And as you stood there on the roof with him and realized it never had anything to do with you, you felt gutted.

“I thought…I thought you liked me.” You said in a quiet voice as your face sank with disappointment. Peter turned red all the way to his ears and laughed in embarrassment.

“I do like you.” He said quietly.

“But not for me.” You shook your head. “For the way I smell.”

“What? That’s crazy?” He laughed is dismissal. You rolled up your sleeves and walked back over to him to hold your arm under his nose.

“You like this.” You told him.

“Damn, that smells good.” Peter whispered as he took in your scent.

“See? It’s my body cream. It attracts spider. Whatever is lingering in your DNA from the bite makes you attracted to this specific scent.” You grumbled as you pushed your sleeves back down.

“Huh. That explains why I got a boner in Sephora the other day.” He realized.

“Why were you in Sephora?”

“I was getting us more face masks. I even used your email so you could get the points.”

“You did?” You asked and cracked a smile. Peter looked at you sympathetically and took a step towards you.

“I had a whole night planned for us. I was gonna bring you up here to watch the sunset. And I brought snacks you like. Even disgusting Salt and Vinegar chips.”

“I love those.”

“I know you do, for some odd reason. And once the sun had set, I was gonna go downstairs with you to do the face makes. I got you a panda because you like them and mine looks like Hello Kitty, see?” Peter said and he pulled the masks out of his bag.

“Very impressive selection.”

“I know. Once we had them on, I was gonna tell you that you’re the only person I don’t feel like I need to wear a mask with. Or you’re the only person who makes me feel the way I do when I’m wearing my mask. In parenthesis, my Spiderman mask. Which implies you make me feel invincible. I don’t know. It was gonan be some mask related metaphor that I was hoping would come to me in the moment.”

“Why did you need a mask related metaphor?”

“So I could ease the tension and segway into telling you that I like you.” He admitted with a timid smile.

“You do?” You asked skeptically. Peter nodded his head and put his hands on your shoulders.

“I wouldn’t do all this for you just because I liked the way you smell. And believe me, I love the way you smell. If I could shrink you down using the Honey I Shrunk the Kids machine and shove you up my nose, I would. But I like a million other things about you too that don’t involve the olfactory bulb.”

“Then how come we only started hanging out once I started using the body cream?”

“Okay, I’ll admit, I got a whiff of the body cream and basically floating in the air down the hallway into your room like a cartoon pig being lead to a pie.” Peter prefaced. “But that was just the first time you wore it. It gave me the confidence to ask you to hang out which is something I’d been wanting to do since we met. And once we started hanging out and I learned all these new things about you, I liked you even more. Which I didn’t know was possible because I was already listening to Lana Del Ray and pretending you wrote the songs about me. When you started smelling divine, that was just the icing on an already big cake. I’m talking Cake Boss level size cake that’s mostly made of Rice Krispies and plastic tubes.”

“So now I’m divine? I thought I was ugly and not funny or charming at all.” You teased him as you stepped even closer.

“You’re right. I still find you very unattractive and don’t want to be your boyfriend and l definitely don’t want to kiss you-“

You cut him off by pulling him by the shirt into a kiss. He stopped talking immediately to kiss you back, putting his hands on your face to pull you closer.

“You smell so fucking good.” He growled and pulling you closer by the waist. You giggled against his lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

You and Peter eventually retired to the sheet to watch the rest of the sun set. You laid on his chest and listened to his heart beating while the scent of his cologne filled your nose. You went back downstairs hand in hand once the sky was dark and passed by Wanda in the living room.

“Goodnight, Wanda.” You smiled at her as you and Peter walked by.

“Goodnight.” She replied and waved her fingers. Peter stopped suddenly in his tracks and looked at Wanda.

“Woah.” He smiled. “You smell really good, Wanda. What do you have-“

“Oh, no you don’t.” You cut him off and pulled him by the back of his shirt away from her.

“It’s the cream.” Peter said in defeat. “I’m defenseless to the cream.”

Tag List 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom

@pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

@olixerwxxd @leilanixx

@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing

@mathletemadison  

@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr

@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu

@ciarahollands

@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fanfic #peter parker imagine #peter parker au #peter parker fluff #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n

[teaboot]

Feels weird leaving an ask, like I’m walking up to a sage on a mountain and asking advice but that sage is likely just some guy in his pj’s eating cheese. Anyway any advice for how to be okay with being perceived? It’s hard to not feel like everything I do whilst in someone eyeline is embarrassing

I'm actually eating Pierogi in the bathtub right now so this is perfect

Okay first off, currently working my way out of the wet paper bag that is Social Anxiety that once had me agoraphobic and melting down on my way to buy groceries, just so you know what you're working with

Care about how you dress, but not in like, a fashion way. Just a "I like how I feel in this shirt" sort of way. And not so much, "I look good in these pants so I will wear them to be perceived Correctly", as, "I feel great in these house slippers and when I feel good I'm confident and when I'm confident I give less of a shit what the haters might think". Wear what feels good. Cut your hair and do your face and nails whatever way feels good. Appearance is secondary to vibes.

Lean into the funny. I waited 10 minutes in line for a coffee order that had already been set out for me this morning, and when the barista noticed, we both had a good laugh. Five years ago that would have killed me. Now I'm glad these poor workers will have a funny story over their bland ass shift. When I was in retail that would have been adorable and hilarious! And so, my goofemup is a gift. I am full of blessings

Get louder and watch as nothing bad happens. Take up more space and watch as nobody yells at you. Wear brighter or skimpier or janglier outfits and bask I the glory that is "Nobody gives a shit except the nice strangers who give me compliments". Marvel at how far you can push the envelope before anyone so much as comments on it. This will free you.

Say yes to terrifying opportunities to be Seen. Karaoke, dance, improv. And if you can't do it sincerely, embody a caricature of yourself. It's terrifying and it sucks eternally and forever and ever and ever like hellfire until suddenly it doesn't. Then have fun.

Be honest. Not unkind, but blunt if you need to. "I'm having a bad time". "This kinda sucks for me". "I know you hate this song but you can deal with these last 30 seconds because I need it to live". Mostly people will think it's a joke but respect it anyway. God bless

Please keep in mind that I am flying by the seat of my pants here and this is just stuff that's worked for me. I am still a nervous disaster crying into the void. Good luck space cowboy

#Teaboot advice

[paegei]

MOANER, GROANER, OR WHIMPERER ?

what sounds do the seventeen members make in bed ?

NSFW CONTENT ! MDNI !

a/n: GUYS i am so sorry i haven't written in so long ╯︿╰ i lose motivation for things VERY easily. anywho,,, if anyone has any requests or anything feel free to send them in ! ( just be prepared for me to take my time to respond ϵ( ‘Θ’ )϶ )

MOANER:

jeonghan:

when i tell you this man has the PRETTIEST moans i mean it. borderline angelic. every noise that comes out of his mouth has you on the verge of orgasm LITERALLY. he's upstaging you i'm sorry !

joshua:

the things i would do to hear him moaning.... 28:50 of the youngji interview is EMBEDDED in my brain. def more on the quiet side, his moans are pretty low in volume, but he is for SURE right next to your ear cuz he knows how much his moans affect you.

jun:

pathetic moans. PATHETIC. loud, whiny, GUTTURAL moans. he also has no shame. and i mean that. does not care how loud he's being. he has to let you know how good you make him feel, who cares about who hears ? also def makes those ah- ah- ah- sounds before he cums

minghao:

hao's moans are like josh's, low in volume but close enough for you to hear. gives me the vibes of someone who doesn't make much noise in bed, he prefers to focus on your blabbering, but when his sounds grace your ears, it is HEAVENLY. ( his moans are borderline whimpers too just saying )

seungkwan:

DEEP. DEEP. SO DEEP. yk that one good to me performance where he said "make some noise" in his deep ass voice ? yeah, that's his tone in bed. moans coming straight from the chest LAWDDDDDD. was pretty shy at first when it came to making noise, but after seeing how badly it affected you ( because who wouldn't go insane hearing them ), he just goes AT IT. unless he's in sub mode and is borderline sobbing

GROANER:

seungcheol:

bro. words could not describe how hot this man sounds ( i would know we're actually married ). GUTTERAL groaning. genuinely sounds like he is working out ＞︿＜ lets out a groan every time he pulls out, followed by a whimper when he shoves his cock back in :/

wonwoo:

practically inaudible with how deep his groans are. all you would be able to hear is this deep grumble. rarely likes making sounds in bed as he prefers to be all ears for your moans, but hey, sometimes good sex makes a man whimper okay there's nothing wrong with that :3

vernon:

kinda like jun, in the aspect that his groans have a pathetic tilt to them. every sound he makes, no matter how hard he tries to keep them in, just ends up sounding absolutely RUINED. im talking you'd think he was crying from how desperate he sounds ( maybe he is who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

chan:

he's right on the barrier between groans and gasps. OMLLLL HIS LITTLE GASP WHEN HE FIRST SLIPS IN !!!!!!!!!!! no shame either he wants to let the whole world know he's getting the best pussy of his LIFE. anime girl ~gah~ kinda noises IM SORRY

WHIMPERER:

jihoon:

dooooont care what you think. he WHIMPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his whimpers are very low in volume however, he knows that if the guys ever found out the little noises he makes for you he would be a goner. tries his hardest to hold the whines back, much to your dismay, but at least then you get the gorgeous sight of him biting his lip till it bleeds (/▽＼)

seokmin:

man does not care how embarrassing his sounds are he NEEDS you to know how good you feel. he is the EPITONE of whimpers. men be afraid to moan in their girls ear, but seokmin is sobbing out "f-fuck oh m- oh my god- 's good, 's good-" and other barely audible curses :3

mingyu:

his whimpers are WET sorrynotsorry. im saying he's borderline drooling. dumb puppy can't help it if your cunt feels so good :( sobs, cries, just the most desperate and shaky words tumbling from his mouth ( if he can still form words is a different story ).

ALL OF THE ABOVE:

soonyoung:

does not give a FUCK what noise he is making, he's just going for it. somehow sounds like whimpers, cries and growls all in one ?? also yes 80% of the time he is growling but are we suprised. just says any word that comes to his mind too. bro does nawt understand why people hold in their moans... if it feels good, it feels good you know ?

not proof-read ! lmk if there's any mistakes (づ￣ 3￣)づ

#seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #svt #svt x reader #svt smut #scoups x reader #scoups smut #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan smut #joshua x reader #joshua smut #junhui x reader #junhui smut #hoshi x reader #hoshi smut #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo smut #woozi x reader #woozi smut #minghao x reader #minghao smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu smut #dk x reader #dk smut #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan smut #vernon x reader #vernon smut

[astrobydalia]

🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨

Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩

work by astrobydalia

Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.

Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment

Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down

In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)

Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn

80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...

Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately

Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.

We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.

Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.

^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them

The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho

I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution

Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭

Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house

Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love

A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry

We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated

You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them

Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.

If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual

Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot

Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner

People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos

I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is

Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭

Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense

+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion

+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret

If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely

Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion

Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature

virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...

Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously

Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.

My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)

I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.

I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭

One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it

Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently

Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.

Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true

Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand

I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia

[tarjapearce]

PLEASE MORE RANCHERO MIGUEL

👀👀 of course.

Inspired by farevalee9s on insta fanart of Cowboy Miguel 🤭

----

The first time Miguel arrived to your family's farm, you were borderline intimidated by his sheer size. You had seen tall people before, but never someone like him.

Your father was in dire need of someone that would take care of his horses and do some maintenance around the farm. Agustín, a horse that seemed a lost cause, was the one that concerned your dad the most. He was a bit aggressive with the other horses, Joaquín Y Luis. He was kept in a different location. The farm was a mess.

Not tolerating a bit ounce of further embarrassment, your mother looked up for people, even put you to post adds through, but none of them actually met the requirements, until a friend of your dad brought him.

-------

"Buenos días, señorita" (Morning, ma'am)

He'd always greet you with a tip of his hat. Unlike your parents, a bit stuck up people, devoted believers and servers of faith, and always speaking the necessary, you were kind to him. Polite and respectful.

You'd bring him cold fresh lemonade after he was done with his training session with Agustín. The sun would hide your embarrassment, since you couldn't help but give subtle glances at his naked torso.

He'd always train the horse, without much on him. Pants, belt, boots and hat. He'd always accept the lemonade with a small smirk and a grateful heart.

"You made it?" You nodded and smiled sheepishly.

"Best thing I've ever tasted." He'd mumble while staring intensely at you.

-----

"Could you teach me how to ride?"

His eyebrows would rise in surprise

"H-Horses, I mean." He'd chuckle and nodded.

"Lo que quieras, guapa ." (Anything for you, gorgeous.)

Sure, you wanted to ride horses, what would the point of having them would be if you couldn't ride them? But in truth, You just wanted to be closer to him. Something that earned you a bit more than you had actually bargained for.

He'd take you by your waist and help you get on Luis, like you weighed nothing. His skin irradiating with heat, calloused hands held you firmly, you could feel his thumb taking a taste of your soft skin. His tongue wetted his lips upon his eyes trailing your form.

Sun blazing on your skin, rosy cheeks, a sweet look that could disarm anyone, gorgeous body. You were such a sweet little thing. Just like the cherries you'd eat in the porch. He stared at your lips, as you dexterously peeled the cherry from it's flesh with your tongue.

He needed to have you.

-------

Of course your mother had seen the not too subtle looks you gave eachother.

He'd always greet you with a knowing smile, and you'd be a flustered mess after. Sometimes your head would hurt by the many times your mother would swat your head with whatever she was choosing to read. Your dad was busy with Church.

Oh, the church.

He didn't seem like a strong believer, neither did you, but respected the business enough to be almost every Sunday in church. Just to see you all dolled up and pretty.

-----

You'd kiss eachother breathless in the barn behind some stacked up hay. You just tasted as sweet as he had imagined. Your first kiss.

You had to be on your tip toes to wrap your arms around him and pulling him down to deepen the kiss as his hands finally were able to touch you and savour you

-----

Your mother was growing suspicious of your sudden absentminded behavior, so she had settled you up a date, and made sure for him to know. Even had the nerve to ask him to have the horses ready.

You had apologized to him, but he seemed unbothered by everything. It kinda bummed you to see him a bit indifferent to the situation. But once you left, he'd glare holes at your mother's window.

"No te dejes montar de nadie, ok? " (Don't let anyone to ride you)

Agustín would just flare and pat the ground. As if understanding him.

------

Every date your mother had arranged to you, ended up in the same scenario. Your dates on the floor, being chased by Agustín or the other horses.

"I don't know what that wicked man has done to the horses. None wants to come here anymore if he isn't around!"

To your mother's mortify, you were turning older enough to start your own family. But you didn't want none of that. No. At least you'd have some time away before she started to getting you on the dating scene again, to get you a husband.

They had a sudden trip to see other properties out of town. You were left alone with Miguel, He'd throw you over his shoulder like nothing, after kissing the daylights out of you and took you inside his place in the barn. Your cherry was popped that night.

-----

Ever since then, every time your parents left, you'd be holed up in your room with him, kissing, making love and talking.

You had corrupted him somehow, always wanting to touch and be near around you, and always wanting to put a baby inside.

"Funny you think I'd let you marry some other guy. Tú eres mía, y eso no se discute." (You're mine, and that's not up to discussion.)

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #t writes✨ #Miguel Ranchero #Drabble

[lovelybrooke]

Things the Twst Boys Find Interesting From Your World.

Inspired by this post, here are things I think the twst boys would find fascinating from your world.

masterlist

---

Ace: 

He's kinda basic and is interested in your holidays. I don't think he's able to wrap his head around religious holidays, which makes sense because most religions sound strange when you explain it to someone that knows nothing about what you're talking about. I think he really likes the idea of Christmas, he wants free gifts. 

Deuce: 

This is kinda hard to explain, but I think Deuce is interested in all the different types of subjects your world teaches. Because when you think about it, so much of this world revolves around magic. Even though there are people who don't use it, most people have a basic grasp of it. So I think he'd really want to know how schools function without magic. 

Cater:

Social media and influencers, one hundred percent. Like he'd be so fascinated by the idea of YouTube and Instagram and TikTok, but he's also really into the drama of it all. Explain influencer beef, no matter how niche it is or how well he'd be able to understand it, he's hooked for days. Imagine him finding out that you had a sizable following on one of those apps, oh lord. 

Trey:

This applies to lots of characters, but food. He's really interested in all the different types of pastries, especially ones that are your favorite. He probably tries to make them to the best of his abilities purely based on your descriptions. 

Riddle:

He's really interested in your world's history. He thinks it fascinating how diverse your history is, and will constantly ask you questions regarding your culture and history. He never gets bored of it either because there is just so much to tell. Like no matter how basic you think your history is, it's so cool to Riddle. 

Jack: 

I'm gonna say something that might be controversial, but Jack gives off the vibes of someone who says he doesn't like reality T.V. but actually really does. I don't care, he'll eat up all the reality T.V. from your world and somehow be able to keep track of all the drama. 

Ruggie: 

Ruggie is fascinated by slang that you use, as strange as that sounds. A lot of it overlaps, but there is eventually some phrase or word you say that they just don't get and it cracks him up. I think he'd try to emulate some of your phrases, to varying success. 

Leona: 

I feel like Leona is just fascinated with humans in general. Like, he's met humans before, but the idea of an entire world with only humans surprises him, and he isn't able to comprehend how your society was able to function. He just can't wrap his head around it, no matter how much you explain your world to him. 

Floyd: 

Surprisingly, fashion. I read on his wiki that he got really interested in fashion after coming on land. I think he'd really want to know about how people in your world dress, even if it is similar to how people In Twisted Wonderland dress. I think he's really fascinated about how different cultures dress, and how clothing has changed over time. 

Jade:

Plants, all types of plants. Like they are definitely more boring than the ones in Twisted Wonderland, but he doesn't care. He's such a nerd for plants, especially mushrooms. There was this video I watched a while ago of a woman talking about all the different ways to cook different types of mushrooms, and I think if he watched that video he'd fall in love. 

Azul:

Kinda specific but card games. It's canon that he likes strategy games, so I think he'd really be interested in all the different types of games, but would probably prefer physical card games rather than online ones. I think he'd secretly really like how cute Pokemon are.

Jamil:

He's also interested in your food. Unlike Trey, he's more interested in the complex dishes of your world rather than just pastries. I think he'd genuinely want to try to make every dish he could with you and try them all, especially ones that pertain to your culture. 

Kalim: 

He's really interested in your music, it's so diverse. He'd definitely be the type of person to say he's interested in all types of music and mean it because he genuinely is. Like show him Chappell Roan and then Laufey, and then Baby Metel, it doesn't matter, he loves it all. 

Epel: 

I know this is kinda basic but sports, he loves sports. I think he finds the concept of the Olympics so cool, especially on the more obscure sports like skateboarding. He definitely would get really into whatever sport you played or are into. 

Rook:

I think Rook would be fascinated by the beauty standards of your world. I think he'd imagine it to be less critical of people, because of the abscess of Beastmen and Fae, but is surprised to learn that it's actually the opposite. This makes him want to learn about all the different types of things people consider "beautiful" in your world. 

Vil:

I mentioned this in a separate post, but he is super interested in all the different types of movies from your world. So many people tend to forget that he literally made a club about movies, and just boil him down to "pretty boy obsessed with looks." He'd watch all those commentary videos on movies and if it were possible, watch all your favorites. He'd also really be into the movie stars, especially since he has no concept of how famous they are. 

Ortho: 

All different types of tech. Obviously, Twisted Wonderland is more advanced, but it's still interesting to learn how your world is able to function without magic. I think since a lot of tech is similar, he'd be really drawn to the gaming consoles of your world and all the silly tech. 

Idia: 

This is kinda basic, but video games. He really likes all the different games from your world, and would love to play them if he could. We know he likes gotcha games, so I could imagine him wanting to play games like Genshin or Star Rail, but I could also see him really enjoying puzzle or strategy games. 

Sebek 

I read on his wiki that he enjoys reading, so I could imagine him being really interested in all the literature from your world. He's kinda surprised that humans were able to write so much on their own, and while he doesn't want to admit it, he wants to read all your favorite books from your world. 

Silver

I also think Silver is really into history, and finds the history of your world really interesting. I think he finds the progression of your weapons really fascinating. He also finds the technological advancements so cool. 

Lilia: 

Some might say this doesn't count, but Lilia is interested in literally everything. Like he can't pick one thing to be interested in, because your world is so complex that it would be a disservice to pick just one thing. He does, however, find your war history interesting. Just don't explain the concept of "mutually assured destruction" to him, it might make him too sad. 

Malleus: 

I think he'd love to learn about art from your world, specifically architecture. Like we know he likes gargoyles and all, but I could see him really enjoying classic architecture and how it changes from place to place. It would totally inspire his own works as well.

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A/n: Tell me your ideas because some of these were really hard.

#soft yandere #yandere x reader #platonic yandere #vil twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #yandere twst #twst

[princessbrunette]

was talking about stepbro!rafe with indy ( @hanasnx ) who brought up a very valuable point and well, inspired this post.

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

before the two of you have explored your attraction to eachother, rafe acts like a real brother. just one that pushes the boundaries too far. he’ll come into your room unannounced, bored— plucking things off your shelf and asking stupid questions before coming to lean on your bed, conversing with you. he’ll ask you stuff like “so are you a virgin?” and you’ll all but clutch your pearls and send him away, wondering why he’d wanna know such a thing.

he’d also just straight up bully you, which gives you every mixed feeling imaginable. annoy him just a little bit, and he’ll wrestle you onto his bed, pinning your arms to your chest, practically laying his weight on you. “m’gonna spit in your mouth.” he threats as you thrash, yelling for ward. “yeah? yell for dad, he’s not home.” he’s stifling a laugh. you hate when he calls ward dad like you’re related.

“get off me!” you try once more, hating everything about it. from the way he was treating you from the way your cunt throbbed because of it.

“nah, open up.” he grabs your jaw, and from pure primal instinct, the subconscious nagging in your brain, you let your mouth open just a little, jaw just a little slack. his reaction is instant and you’re filled with regret, his lip twitching up and squinting his eyes in faux disgust. “oh you like that? you just— yeah don’t fuckin’ deny it i felt you open that shit up.” he accuses, tilting his head— still not letting you evade his grip as you squirm, lip trembling in embarrassment, eyes aglaze.

he’s smirking, panting in this sick kinda hyena like way as he stares down at you. “oh you’re real weird lil sis. you wanted me to spit in your mouth. didn’t you?”

that’s when you start stuttering and stammering out excuses, trying not to cry — not like he’d care if you did. “i—i just— i was confused because you tell me i should always listen to my big brother n’i just— it was instinct!”

“instinct… huh, okay…” he ponders for a moment before he leans back in, slowly this time… more calm. he pries your jaw back open, his mouth so close to yours that you can feel his hot breath on the roof of your open mouth. just when you think he’s about to actually do it, he leans back with a simple smile— shutting your mouth and patting your cheek. “gotta grow a backbone, y’know. you were really gonna just roll over n’take it because someone told you to?” he tuts, finally letting you go and pushing back up onto his knees, freeing you. “just tryna help you grow. alright?”

you don’t even move for a few seconds, still disheveled on his bed— and he pretends not to see the dark wet patch in your pyjama shorts, for both of your sake. you pretend you’re not a bit disappointed. when you sit up, he’s back to his old self and you gaze up at him curiously, wondering what switched him.

“n’stop looking at me like that, jesus. cut that slut shit out… n’get out of my room already.” he’s nonchalant, nodding to his door in gesture. you say nothing, and when you leave you hear him lock his door.

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

#stepbro!rafe #tw stepcest #tw fauxcest