#it is flawed logic and i think that logic is part of the reason we got to this point

[drdemonprince]

Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

[uncanny-tranny]

It is my sincerest and unironic belief that we must invest in preserving "old technology." The more we move to a hegemonic, easily-surveilled way of living, the worse we will find this world to be.

Letters, public phones and transport, cash, and so much more are key to ensuring both freedom of movement and information, but also to combat the surveillance state. We need to preserve the ability to both access the world but also to be untraceable. I truly hope more people start to recognize this. It isn't about nostalgia for the past. It is about ensuring that we are actually afforded freedom, from the richest person to the person who lives on the sidewalk.

#politics #i was ranting at my dad about how pissed i am that the US has essentially killed the payphone because we have smartphones #imagine killing letters because 'oough we have email though!!!' #i'm sure people advocate for abolishing mail (and i have seen it firsthand) but i don't agree with it #we must preserve freedom of movement and information and that includes making it as accessible and public as possible imo #i do not want to live in a world wherein my smartphone is both what i MUST rely on but it is also traceable 24/7/52/365 #'if you're innocent you have nothing to hide' is a fucking cop-out to permit a surveillance state by the way #it is flawed logic and i think that logic is part of the reason we got to this point #'why do you need cash? that's kind of suspicious to not LET people trace your purchases' like come ON

[osamid]

an interesting (unpopular? i think?) soukoku opinion i have is i don't think dazai was oblivious to his feelings towards chuuya, like ever. i understand WHY people interpret dazai as having trouble identifying and reckoning with his emotions; i'm not knocking it! there's plenty of evidence to suggest that and also i think it fits with his actions. HOWEVER. for me dazai is the most fun when he's deliberately suppressing and neglecting his own feelings. dazai realizes at the tender age of like 15 that he's at least infatuated with chuuya, and his first instinct is "well how do i compartmentalize that. how do i make sure this doesn't interfere with my plans and our job at the mafia." and then he compromises with his emotions by keeping chuuya close but not allowing himself to seem too affectionate or "trick" chuuya into liking him back. i think this version of dazai is most compelling to me because then the struggle isn't "get blockhead dazai to realize he's in/can love" its "get blockhead dazai to realize he's allowed to indulge in love" which is much more fun, especially when you have seven (or even more, i don't think this mindset would be limited to chuuya) years worth of distancing himself from his own emotions to contend with.

#putting the more negative parts in the tags i think another reason i'm not partial to the “dazai is oblivious to his own feelings” headcanon #is that it sorta implies that dazai isn't self-aware? #which like. he clearly is. i think moments when we (the veiwer) think he isn't self aware is the result of the MEDIA not being self-aware #<- talking about his treatment of akutagawa and other such failures. “don't pity yourself” moment. the whole father thing. #dazai doesn't acknowledge these flaws because the source material doesn't think its a flaw either #but i digress. my point here is that i personally think dazai is so painfully self-aware that it turns into over-rationalizing himself #dazai's emotions to him are just as irrelevant as his physical needs and such like that. #does this make sense? idk #example i'll give: his character growth as he trusts the ada and works less utterly on his own mind #i think dazai is capable of seeing his own trust issues and what not from the very beginning #but it's only after it's been proved to him that him that no total control isn't the most logical option #and in fact trusting his allies CAN work out without pulling every string #that dazai beings to take down (a few) of his walls #its not that dazai doesn't know he has feelings. its that they aren't relevant to him #they cause him grief #fuck up his plans #and (to him) need to be squared away and dismissed as soon as possible #i know that isn't in line with the no longer human novel but WHATEVS #my hcs #bsd #skk #bsd dazai

[ao3commentoftheday]

I’m thinking about perfectionism again, specifically with respect to how it can skew your opinion of success and failure.

There’s this concept that comes up a lot when you read about issues like perfectionism: all-or-nothing thinking. It’s a trap that’s easy to fall into.

If you’re a fic writer falling into this trap, you might feel like you’re an absolute failure if your fic isn’t a 100% accurate depiction of the scene you see in your head with flawless grammar and zero typos. That is a, quite literally, impossible standard to meet and as a result of never meeting it, you probably feel one or more of the following:

lack of motivation

certainty that there’s no point in even trying

self-hatred or some other form of intense dissatisfaction with yourself and/or your skills

This is a completely logical way to feel in that mindset, by the way. Your standard for success is so high that you’re constantly a failure. If your standard for success is impossible to meet, then there is no point in trying. If there’s no point in trying, how could you possibly feel motivated?

In order to move away from those feelings, you need to move away from that all-or-nothing, black & white mindset.

One way to do this is by figuring out a new standard for success that actually can be achieved. For example, give yourself permission to have occasional typos in your stories. Gaiman’s Law states that an author will always find a typo the first time they open their published book. If even Neil himself has resigned himself to this fate, then hopefully you can too. If you managed to write your story then that’s a success and finding a typo after you’re done doesn’t turn that success into a failure.

Another thing that’s helped me is to think of every failure or mistake or dissatisfying result as a learning opportunity. If I’m not able to do something now, that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to do it at some point in the future. I just need to keep trying. Practice makes better. Practice also helps you figure out the things that are easy for you and the bits that are hard and where you might need some help - either from a fellow fan or from another kind of resource.

I think part of the reason why people can get so anxious about their fanworks is because we care so much about them. We love the characters. We love the world. We want to do them justice in our writing, and we want other fans to love our creations too.

It’s important to remember that all of us love imperfect things all the time. It’s not perfection that makes a thing lovable. It’s the heart that’s put into it.

There’s a lot of fear behind perfectionism. Fear of being caught doing something wrong. Fear of being shamed for a mistake. Fear that imperfection makes us unworthy or unlovable. Fear that a single flaw will ruin an entire work. Fear of failure.

If you want to be able to move through that fear, you need to be able to reduce it somehow. The most effective way that I’ve found is to stop writing with the goal of posting something online. Write for the sake of writing, without the pressure of showing it to someone else. That might help you to get out a first draft (or second or third) without that worry about being judged and found wanting.

If you’re not ready for positive self-talk or reframing the internal narrative (I get it. Been there.) then allowing yourself to be less than perfect in a place where no one else can see you might be a good first step.

And just because I think it’s important that you hear it from time to time: you are a wonderful, creative, amazing human being - mistakes included.

#thinky thoughts #perfectionism #this turned into a ramble sorry #long post

[rongrii]

I recently started redesigning characters from HH for my and my friends au’s, first one I did was Lucifer :D

He quickly became my favourite character, and I really wanted to have my own take on him.

I would really appreciate if you gave me you feedback and thoughts! I know text I wrote is long, but I really tried to make things interesting <:) I do not support Viv, I pirated the show and I know it’s flaws, so I am trying to fix them how I like.

First of all, visual design changes. I want to say that I didn’t put “animation friendly design” as my priority, in show I would like to decrease amount of his details, but here it’s not very important.

Facial features changes:

- I wanted to make him look more interesting, adding goat symbolism in his eyes, nose, horns and ears. He looks kinda strange in show if think about it, angels there don’t have any noses? It bothers me a bit.

- Here I am taking a turn into making Lucifer and Satan into once person, unlike in the show. I just wanted and It seemed more logical to me. His hair is now wavy/curly, I took inspiration from paintings and sculptures where Lucifer is depicted with wavy hair.

Outfit:

- His shoulder pads(if I am using the right word) have small details on them which I repeated on his coat. I change his bow tie to a tie mostly due a personal preference, and now eye and appears only in his demon form is visible at all times.

- Hat now has a single big apple in the middle, and snake can be either on staff or the hat. Staff now has dark wooden texture that flows into the apple, resembling a tree.

Now onto character role, personality and behaviour changes.

Trying to be equal to God:

- Biblical reason to Lucifer’s fall was his pride and desire to be equal to his creator. If we had this motivation for him in the show, it would be much better. It suits person who lives in circle of Pride, it may explain why Lilith took Charlie away from Lucifer in that one scene, it adds depth into Charlie’s daddy issues. I love for how dorky and unserious he is the show but here, I wanted to follow another path, of making Lucifer actually prideful, terrifying king of hell.

- God sees everything. In attempts to imitate it, Lucifer the same way sees and knows about most of what happens in hell. You notice how much eye ornaments are on the streets? I took this idea in Lucifer being able to spectate whenever he wants on any place eyes are placed in. This extends to every ring, having even more power than Vox and his cameras. Lucifer’s eyes on his cape may also appear in situation when he decides to watch sinners and demons, as well as pupils shift form. He also knows every soul who enters and leaves hell, like Sera.

- I often see points about Lucifer being God’s favourite in the past. This could be incorporated in the story, making even more sense for Lucifer to be so prideful. Charlie could face the same consequences, + Lucifer could treat her like Charlie is a God’s son, like Lucifer himself is. More depth and angst into Charlie’s relationship with father, yay!!

Other changes:

- He could use more coldness to the sinners. I don’t think it much matters to him if they are killed, more than that, Lucifer would kill the sinners like exorcists do, if they are not acting how he wants to. But in hell, you can’t run away from Lucifer like it is possible from exorcists. It would make him more scary.

- He and the royal family because of the first point are respected. Lucifer’s pride wouldn’t allow him to treat him badly.

This is not all, put the post is long already and I am still thinking things out. I will make part 2 with his full demon from and more thoughts, so stay tuned!

Thank you if you read all that, and even if you didn’t and just liked the art. Tell me if I got things wrong and I have mistakes in my research of Lucifer in religion. Have an awesome day!!

#art #artists on tumblr #sketch #drawing #digital art #rongrii art #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel art #hazbin critical #hazbin redesign #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #vivziepop critical #long post

[mukumukunomi]

Not Alone. Never Alone. (part 1)

Luffy x Fem!Reader

cw: fluff, no smut, first love, implied semi-relationship, no manga spoilers, takes place just after East Blue's arc in live action, idiots in love

wc: 1,663

a/n: This is part one of a a short and sweet two parter. I'll be uploading it soon hopefully! Still thinking of more cute one-shots I can write as well. Part two will be linked below

Part Two (Luffy)

❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

You tell him that getting involved would result in disaster.

But Luffy is a magnet for disaster. He’s chaos incarnate. Brutally honest to a flaw with a kindness that shatters ideals and shakes the foundation of the world. It’s as rare as it is maddening.

“I'm serious. It’s better if I go alone tonight instead of tomorrow.”

The words bite through the silence. It actually forces Luffy away from shoveling the food in his mouth as he eyes you up and down. 

“Where are we going?”

You sigh. He’s not listening to you. Not really. The words are going in but not processing. Luffy always does it when he hears something he doesn’t like. He simply states what he wants instead like the universe will bend itself to his will. 

Maybe it does.

“Not ‘we’. I am going to go to the island. Me. Not you.”

Luffy frowns. You know he doesn’t doubt your strength nor your character. But it’s the subtle narrowing of his eyes and the way he slowly chews his food that gives his emotions away. He’s annoyed, you think.

“I don’t want ya’ to go alone.”

You sigh dramatically. He’s like a petulant child. His reasoning confounds you. “I’ll be careful.”

He breaks gaze with you to take another huge bite of meat. It’s impressive how he manages to scarf it down in the span of two minutes before he’s once again berating you. “But I can be stealthy!”

You wipe a crumb from his cheek. His face is twisted, eyes avoiding you. He whistles a broken tune mainly because he’s terrible at whistling. Sweat drips down his face. All the tells convincing you that your captain would be terrible poker player. “Leave the lying to Usopp. It’s not your forte. And leave the stealthiness to me. It’s my forte.”

His concern isn’t unwarranted. You're sneaking into the lair of people who once held you as a short-time captive long ago. They’re not as fearsome as some of the pirates you and the crew have encountered, but nevertheless have connections to people you’d rather avoid.

You’re wanted in more waters than the prospective King of the Pirates beside you. The ties of your family and the status they have in this world make it so you’re looking over your shoulder at all times. You’ve never known freedom until the strange being named Monkey D. Luffy stumbled into your life. 

But you know the layout of this particular place, and it has something the crew requires. Without it they can’t continue their journey forward. And you’d be damned if you were the one holding them back. 

“It’ll be quick. In and out. They’ll never even know! I spent a lot of time there as a prisoner so-.”

Luffy slams the meat bone onto the plate in front of him. He calls Sanji for more. Sanji’s disgruntled reply echoes from the kitchen to your place on the deck. You almost think the thing is settled until Luffy’s blazing eyes meet yours again.

The words are harsh. “I’m going.”

“Luffy, we don’t need to waste time on something I can handle myse-”

“That’s an order from the captain.”

His voice holds no cheerfulness. He’s never used that tone with you before. It’s the tone of finality. It means that Luffy has heard you out and he’s overruling you. You’ve seen him use it on people.  You’ve never had it used on you before. The abruptness of it makes you stand.

Hurt flares in your chest. Did he not trust you? Did he actually think you were weak? The logical part of your brain screams ‘no!’ but it’s buried in the torrent of emotions. Here was a chance to prove just how useful you could be. Prove you belonged on this crew. Why did he have to be so difficult? 

Luffy’s attention diverts again. He settles back into his mantra of consuming whatever is in front of him as Sanji places another plate of meat down. You make eye contact with the cook, who simply shrugs at the mood the captain is in. You huff in anger and decide being anywhere else is better than talking to the brick wall with a straw hat.

Habit finds you in the main meeting area of the Going Merry. Besides the currently absent presence of Sanji in the small kitchen, the crew’s swordsman is dozing lazily in the corner of the common space. You can’t tell if he’s supposed to be sharpening his sword or is sneaking the booze supply. It surprises you to see him in cohabitation with Sanji in the same room at all.

You plop next to Zoro. You draw your knees up to your chest and rest your elbows on your knees. You let out a long, dragged out keening noise of frustration.

“He shut you down, huh?”

Without looking, you smack his shoulder. Zoro simply scoffs as he tries to get more comfortable against the wall. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

You eye his form. “You said he’d be stubborn. Nami suggested I wait until he was eating to try to convince him.”

Zoro shifts the Wado Ichimonji on his hip. “Yeah, Nami’s right about that. He’s pretty susceptible when food’s on offer. You can convince him to do almost anything.”

The groan that is your reply is muffled by your arms. "Apparently not everything."

He taps the hilt of the blade on your head. “Problem wasn’t the timing. It was the subject.”

Your brows scrunch together. “The subject?”

“You.”

“You’re saying that I’m the problem.”

Zoro smirks. “Yup.”

You shove his shoulder at his shit-eating grin. Luffy and you care for each other. More than friendship. Not quite romantic. You're not sure if he even knows how to be. So you both settle for a comfortable in-between where labels are irrelevant. You’re free to explore this feeling between you two and see where it leads. Despite his naivete, there’s a quiet confidence in Luffy’s chaste kisses. In lingering touches and odd looks that make your heart rate elevate. There are moments where you wonder if he truly knows the effect he has on you.

You’re in love with him. So in love with him. You don’t know how deep his love for you runs. It terrifies you.

Your indignant snort reverberates the space. “I don’t understand.”

The moss-head rolls his eyes at you and takes a swig of a bottle. “If you don’t understand then you may be an even bigger idiot than he is.”

You decide that the room is more stuffy as you feel hot embarrassment at his remark. “At least I’m an idiot that can find my way around.”

The swordsman makes an interesting coughing noise as you get up and exit back onto the deck. 

Going Merry is docked at the north end of the inlet. It shrouds your little caravel just enough that you can still see the top of the fortress that lies beyond the hill to the south. You can see that the clouds are beginning to move eastward as a warm wind blows from the storm front to the west. Luffy is no longer where he was, but you can hear the echoes of his voice from below. Sanji passes you to return to the kitchen to clean up and lock the fridge, which will hopefully keep a certain pest (captain) away. You begin descending the stairs to the main deck as Sanji and Zoro’s voices start to hurl insults at each other from behind. 

The only one who remains on deck is Nami, who’s staring at a map of the island on the flat end of an upright barrel. An oil lamp burns beside her to give light. You rest your chin on her shoulder and hum at the layout. “That’s wrong.”

You point to the secret entrance Nami’s drawn. “It’s just to the west of the hill at the base. And that forest stretches all the way to the coastline too.”

Nami frowns and marks the correction with a pen. “Damn, I’ll have to redraw again at some point.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You say, voice turning bitter. “It’s not worth that kind of effort.”

You hope to never see this island again after this.

Nami simply raises an eyebrow. “You sound upset. What did Luffy say?”

You tend to forget how perceptive the navigator is. “He ordered me to let him come. Ordered! Like a captain! Can you believe that?”

“Ah. Well he is the captain.” Nami clicks her tongue, “Serious tone and all too?”

You nod. “Any chance of still changing his mind?”

The tangerine colored strands of her hair flow gently in the breeze as Nami laughs. “Absolutely not. But maybe it’s for the best. We both know how stubborn he can be.”

She snuffs the oil lamp out and folds the map to put in her pocket. Without the warm light, the ship is suddenly shrouded in an eerie darkness. The only light left is from the pale glow of the moon. Nami shifts her attention back to you. “Heading to bed. You?”

Usopp’s snores have already begun to resound across the ship. There are heavy footsteps below you from the men’s quarters. There’s a brief moment of loud talking and heavy things being thrown before peace once again returns to the Going Merry. 

You gaze up at the stars. “In a minute. I forgot something in the kitchen.”

The navigator yawns as she walks away. You watch her disappear below. There’s a heavy feeling in your gut as you move towards the ship’s railing. You peer over it, gazing at the strip of land alongside your ship.

Luffy could be stubborn. But so could you.

The warm air turns cold as you inhale shakily. You do a double take of the surroundings again to make sure you’re alone.

“Sorry, Luffy.”

You throw the rope ladder down and descend as quietly as possible.

#monkey d. luffy x reader #one piece #opla #monkey d. luffy #muku'sfics #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #one piece x reader

[skk-fan-page]

I promise I took my meds, hear me out: this

Can give us insight into this

So: before we get into what it means, I'm going to tell you why these things are related. 15 is probably the best text we have when it comes to dissecting their relationship, and in 15, dazai says 2 things that relate to both raging romantic tension and also dogs.

This, as well as an arguably more loaded section:

This. Now bear with me, I really did take my meds, this second excerpt is almost a one to one copy of the dog treats panel. For those of you who have read 15, you'll know that this scene is the set up for chuuya being forced into the mafia. They duel, the "treats" (the sheep) appear, and then they disappear, and only when dazai walks away do both the dog and chuuya realize theyve been ensnared in a weirdly elaborate trap for someone who's supposed to not want anything to do with them.

Not only that, but it establishes that not only does he call chuuya his dog, but "his dog" is part of his future plans, and part of the reason he even has future plans.

Part of the reason that dazai wants to live at that point is to spend time with chuuya.

Now: with that we get back into the dog treat "duel".

First, I'll let you read it and draw your own links, as long as you promise to leave them in the notes

As a bsd reader, you'll probably know that dazai's plans often revolve around knowing what the other party will do. This is easily reflected in the dog encounter, because dogs don't know anything, and thus their behavior cannot be influenced to an unpredictable point. If you offer a dog a treat, you can count on that dog eating the treat. The problem is that dazai can't connect that motive to the dog's actions, because he specializes in dealings with egotistical people who rank highly in organizations who have massive flaws they overlook. Take him outside of his comfort zone, and he struggles to tilt things in his favor.

This analysis overlooks one teensy massive character trait that shapes the character: Dazai is the type to step on a rake, hit himself in the balls, and stick the landing so well that everyone thinks it was on purpose.

You can only tell what's "the plan" versus what is just improv by how hard he tries to sell that he's in control.

With this new lens, seeing how hard dazai tries to assert "the difference in [his status]" with the dog almost entirely colors the interaction as some sopping wet loser loses at his own game that he started against a small animal.

And now: how does this effect the skk reunion and how does it reflect on their previous relationship?

Well, I'm going to pull out some "oh holy shit... I mean, I meant to do that!" Moments

This man is going back and forth like it's his job. He doesn't know what to expect because chuuya is far beyond his comfort zone. Hes everything that should make him predictable, and yet he never is. Every time he's taken aback by his target not reacting the way he "should" he pulls another trick out from his sleeve. Even literally, in the lock picking case. Whenever he needs to try to assert that he totally planned this, he goes for another trick.

As with the dog, when dazai walks away, the only thing chuuya was left with was a distinct sense of "this guy needs friends." They're both low stakes interactions that are born from dazai not expecting something and not knowing how to regain control of the situation.

This implies that dazai just doesn't know how to deal with a straightforward person and thus can never predict what chuuya will do, because he runs on an unswayable internal logic that makes him as difficult to manipulate as a human can possibly be.

As a partnership, they're constantly confusing the fuck out of each other, because dazai is weird and eats dog treats, and because chuuya cannot be understood with the logic dazai excels in.

They know each other but they can never hope to understand each other.

#skk #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd skk #soukoku

[venvellan]

da2's arishok is a good villain. if you have a fundamental understanding of the qun and listen to his thought process, the things he does makes sense. he uses the qun to justify slaughtering kirkwall's people, which is utterly inexcusable and what makes him a villain, but his character is complex enough to make dealing with him that much more thought provoking. he sends agents to kill petrice because she was killing his people, he doesn't give up the elves because they committed their lives to the qun, no matter how recently they converted, and he refuses to leave without the tome (and isabela) because his idea of justice hasn't been done. his logic makes sense, generally, though it is wrong on more than one occasion. he isn't moral, but he is methodical.

i feel this way about solas, too. i like da2's arishok for the same reasons that initially draw people to solas, i think. when we meet them, i find them interesting and educational to talk to, someone worthy of respect, and someone very honorable in their own way. similarly, many of my issues with solas compare with flaws in the qun/the arishok.

solas asserts that all of his beliefs are correct, and we're never allowed to challenge him on any of it. if he has high enough approval, he'll approach you to go, "yknow, i thought you were all [insert prejudice or stereotype] but YOU showed me that some of you guys are actually okay," which is NOT what it looks like for someone's beliefs to be challenged.

brief aside, i want to be fair in that we don't get this opportunity with many of the companions, and it's not even an inquisition specific issue. the dialogue format is agree, joke, be mean, and it's flawed, but it works in the majority of interactions. we don't really get to engage in nuanced discussions with characters, but there are positives and negatives to the system overall. it is possible to challenge and shape a character within this dialogue system (i.e., garrus vakarian) but in dragon age that really only comes in the form of harden/unharden. it was a little more doable with origins' system, but it really hasn't been a huge part of any dragon age game. most characters' beliefs remain largely unchanged by you regardless of how you play.

solas also possesses a strong sense of duty and purpose, though what duty he has, what his true goals are, he keeps hidden as long as he can. the most damning comparison though, to me, is how willing he is to destroy the world and bring back "his people," while the qunari fight to conquer the world and homogenize society into "their people."

in any case, with both him and the arishok, you can see the wheels turning in their heads. you can see why they do what they do, even if it's wholly immoral. it makes their threat a lot more personal, a lot scarier, psychologically, that a "normal" person, who doesn't want to cause suffering, can hold such specific beliefs and such strong conviction that knowing that they'll hurt people doesn't give them any pause. the root of their motivation is understandable. solas wants to right his wrongs, at his core. the arishok implicitly believes that the qun is safer, better for its people than life outside the qun. we can see that they're taking it too far, but they don't care. it makes them good villains.

"i am not corypheus, i take no joy in this." sure, which is a very similar sentiment, emotionally, to the qunari sense of duty. you can say you don't enjoy it all you want, you're still committing genocide. you can hate the qunari all you want, but you fight with their ferocity, their unshakeable faith in their own cause. their need to "do what's right," no matter who's caught in the wake.

i understand why people like solas, i go back and forth on it myself, but i don't think he's all that different from the arishok in method and motivation. they're each thrust into a world so different from what they believe is "right" that they demand it change around them. if we had to kill the old arishok, then if solas refuses to give up, he will have to die. he doesn't get to do genocide just because he's romanceable. he's a good character, he's a good villain, but he's not a good guy, and unless he stops before he does any real harm (which he will not do), he should share the arishok's fate.

#ive had a hard time trying to put words to the way i feel about solas #but this does it #solas is a good character and quite likeable for lots of reasons #especially in inquisition's main story #but end of the day hes not a good fuckin dude #also please engage with this it took me like three hours #da discourse #cw: genocide #dragon age #dragon age 2 #dragon age inquisition #da2 #dai #the arishok #solas #fen'harel

[astroariska]

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT 8TH HOUSE" DICTIONARY THREAD

Astrology threads sometimes way too confusing. There are so many words that just come out there and make us wonder what we supposed to do then??? It made people think impractical to make astrology into your daily lifes because it's hard to be understood.

Have no fear. I am here to give you a mini thread about the 8th house.

Transformation : What the hell is this word? We never really use this world in our daily lives, isn't it? But really. Transformation is about realizing you need to ELIMINATE that shitty behaviour you didn't want to tell everybody that it's a part of you annd the reason why there is some drama in your life and REPLACE it with a better attitude.

Intimacy. It's not about getting that bombastic sex with your partner. It's about you realizing ... After all the shit and the shot you've been through ... All you need is that person and all you wish is that person to stay with you through thin and thick while wishing life could be better for you.

Power struggle : Simply the imbalance of the relationship that makes you feel you less than equal. Either it makes you feel you work it all or makes you feel you are so fucking useless. This imbalance, let your heart have the urge to solve it out while your heart cannot even simplify the problem within you two.

Inheritances : Doesn't always about money. Sometimes it's about debt. Sometimes it's about what the good, the bad and the ugly shit you share with your parental figure, caretaker or even another family member.

Rebirth : When you are realizing you are not the same anymore after shit happens. When you are realizing the current version of you is really way too different than the old version of you.

Power : Influence over someone, something or a cause that makes a really noticeable change in physical, material, phsycological, spiritual and mental of other people.

Bonus a mini thread about zodiac in 8th house.

Aries 8th house : You hate to acknowledge you are too offensive. But you do have a reason. Acknowledge it now and change the offensive feeling into more passionate attitude as a sign of leadership. Know the differences when you try to give support or just hate to see other being a competitor.

Taurus 8th house : You are way too rigid, slow, stubborn and sometimes ... a boring basic bitch that keeps repeating the same pattern in order to keep you same. It's okay. You've been through a lot. But maybe, you need to change the value that you hold because changing yourself is actually way easier than changing the world?

Gemini 8th house : The best advice to this placement is ... okay, sometimes it feels so good to process everything with your own logic. Math is mathing but you'll end up more anxiouse and less consistence than ever. Maybe it's because you're hard to gain focus but it's a signal you need more dynamic approach so your emotional life could be more interesting than just a typical sadness.

Cancer 8th house : Oh, do you hate feeling vulnerable? Do you think you're weak? What about realizing that your care and your need for nurture is the sign of you being a human being instead of feeling insecure about feel something inside you? Your feeling shows you that you are alive. OWN IT AS YOUR POWER and NOT YOUR FLAW.

Leo 8th house : You're tired of being strong and lead all the time, don't you? But please, just because you're trying to be strong for a long time then you justify all the drama you've punch in people's face. You just need to realizing that sometimes ... The rage is coming from your wounded little child in you that unhappy for the longest time. Remember that when you happy, you gain power.

Virgo 8th house : Oh, snap! You MADE A MISTAKE! Is it small? Is it big? You analyze it until you paralyzed yourself. But honey, mistake were made for you to learn by doing. Instead of punching yourself and hyper-analyze it inside your head, use your mistake to serve those who you love as a lesson that you need to share.

Libra 8th house : Sometimes, it's scary to be lonely but it's more haunting to be with the wrong people and trapped forever with them. But whatever the reason, don't you ever think that you have no right to get the partnership you really wish. You just need to understand that you don't need to please anybody to make them stay. Cheaters always cheat. Haters gonna hate.

Scorpio 8th house : You want to end this life because you feel you can't handle it anymore? But you didn't want everybody know that you're dying inside ... While you actually understand that the key of your life is to breath out your fear and insecurity.

Sagittarius 8th house : It's easier to run away, pack your bag, ghost everybody then pretends like you are the chillest person in the room instead to face how big the mess you need to tidy up. Sometimes is easier to tell people what to do rather to tell yourself what you need to do. When shit comes down, come into your higher self and find the meaning of it. Everything happen for a reason. It's happening not to you, but for you.

Capricorn 8th house : Numbing feeling and hardship makes you out of a breath. I swear, you need a mentor and become more diciplined in your way through because that's the only thing you could do to master this life. Every pain worth the gain.

Aquarius 8th house : If you're feeling like you're out of place, had nobody to stand with you or feeling alienated ... Maybe it's not because people suck. Maybe because your decision was made based how you quickly disengage and diconnected from people you love as you had 0 trust in them. Instead of feeling like you're the black sheep. Channel your brain competency into finding the right purpose, dream and community you're aspire to.

Pisces 8th house : Just because something ends, doesn't mean your life end. Remember. You're not rejected. You're redirected. You're in pain because life will challanges you to take a new path and plant new seed because it's a sign of a fresh start and brand new day. Put your rose colored glass now, it might over but it's doesn't end something. Connect to yourself. You'll found out soon.

#astro notes #astrology #astro note #astrology observations #astro observations #aries 8th house #taurus 8th house #gemini 8th house #cancer 8th house #leo 8th house #virgo 8th house #libra 8th house #scorpio 8th house #sagittarius 8th house #capricorn 8th house #aquarius 8th house #pisces 8th house #8th house

[nostalgebraist]

declare

Read Declare by Tim Powers recently.

It had some really good individual bits, and was well-written throughout, but overall I found it kind of a slog.

Partly that was just due to pacing, or me not quite being in the target audience, or other similarly ordinary and boring reasons. But, on reflection, I think a lot of my troubles with the book come down to one big, uncommon flaw it had -- which is my reason for writing this post.

----

Declare is a hybrid fantasy/spy novel.

The spy stuff, which comprises most of the book by mass, is drawn from real history -- in particular, from the life of real Soviet spy Kim Philby -- and strives to be consistent with all particulars of that real history that are publicly known.

The book is a "secret history" as opposed to an "alternate history," intended to produce the impression: "for all we know, this really could have been what happened." It sticks to the historical record about the kind of matters that make it into said record, and only invents things in the blank spaces in between them.

As Powers put it:

I made it an ironclad rule that I could not change or disregard any of the recorded facts, nor rearrange any days of the calendar – and then I tried to figure out what momentous but unrecorded fact could explain them all.

You'll note that I'm being vague about what "the fantasy elements" are.

I'm doing that on purpose. Revealing much about their nature would be the kind of spoiler that actually spoils, because one of Declare's virtues -- and I really did admire this -- is the way it makes its fantastical secrets feel really secret. Like a secret doctrine, a mystery cult, an epistemic Rubicon that one does not cross lightly.

They are talked about elliptically, even among initiates (and Powers makes this feel naturalistic, not like cheap and pointless reader-teasing evasion). Before you know much else about these "fantasy elements," you know that encounters with them have a tendency to leave people scarred, broken, changed -- and disinclined to say much about what they saw.

The early chapters of the book almost feel like the opening of a "mundane" spy novel. Except they are dotted with stray glimpses, from odd angles, of... something else. Something that is clearly one single thing, with a coherent shape, only you cannot make out in full what that shape is. Something that feels, authentically, like it was not meant for your innocent eyes.

It's all very effective. Really great stuff.

But then, at least by the halfway mark if not earlier, the reader catches up with the characters. The shape of the thing comes into focus. You get what the deal is, insofar as anyone does, and insofar as there is a "deal" to get. The nature, if not the logic, of the hidden world is laid bare.

"The nature, if not the logic": this is the book's fundamental flaw. The fantasy elements of Declare eventually land in a worst-of-all-worlds no-man's-land between mystique and mechanism.

They are explained to the reader just enough that they lose their glamour; what initially feels like the mystic doctrine of a lost gospel, or the forbidden fruit of a Lovecraft story, ends up feeling more like a collection of "lore" passages accompanying tables of numbers in an RPG rulebook. Yet they are not explained enough that they make sense, the way a law-bound "magic system" makes sense; despite Powers' ambitions, they never quite become capable of explaining anything else.

To put the point a little differently, and set things up for my next one: Declare mixes together two ingredients which, on their own, are perfectly fine -- indeed, actively good -- but which absolutely cannot go together. Namely:

Mysterious, supernatural forces that feel properly mysterious, numinous, not quite bound by "our" human logic and thus fundamentally beyond our ken.

A secret-history version of bizarre and partially unknown real-world events, which supplies explanations for the weird parts and fills in the tantalizing gaps.

Why do historical mysteries draw our interest? It is not just that there is something we don't know. There are a lot of things we don't know, about history, and mostly they don't trouble us.

But there are some questions for which it does not seem possible to imagine an uninteresting answer.

When a real historical figure behaves in some bizarre manner -- as the real-world Kim Philby frequently did -- we know that, whatever cause moved them to do so, it must be outlandish in a way that matches its effect. When people act strangely, they do so for strange reasons. That is roughly what "acting strangely" means.

But! Once you allow "ineffable, partly unpredictable magic" to be a cause with effects, the link between interesting events and interesting causes is broken. You can now invent explanations which are less interesting than any real-world one could possibly be.

You can survey the historical record, note down all the intriguing gaps, and then sculpt an infinitely pliable magical putty into the precise shape of each gap, so as to fill it. These fillings do not have the shape of real things; they are made retrospectively, and modeled after the patterned obstructions marring our view, rather than the real patterns which are being obstructed. They do not have spiraling implications, as real things do; they plug the gaps they were made for, and do nothing else.

Human behavior has human causes, and human causes are frequently interesting, to us humans.

It is usually a virtue, in fictional depictions of magic, for that magic to feel nonhuman.

But it ceases to be a virtue when that magic goes on to become a substitute for the real human causes of real events. It provides answers to all our questions, at the cost of removing the reason we imagined we might want to possess those answers.

"Why on earth," you ask me, "did this bizarre historical event happen the way it did?"

And I respond: "a wizard did it."

You protest that this is not an explanation at all. You profess to be just as confused as you were at the outset.

You say, in exasperation: "it can't just be that. There has to be something more. Why did the wizard do it? Is it... the sort of thing that wizards do? Is there a 'sort of thing that wizards do'?"

In real life, you'd have a point. In real life, for every X, there is a sort of thing that Xs do.

But not for wizards. Remember #1 above? Wizards are beyond your ken. Perhaps there is "sort of thing they do," but if so, it is too subtle for your dull, unmagical brain.

Which is to say: they can do whatever the author, or the plot -- or the gaps in the historical record -- need them to do on any given occasion. And then they go back into their box again, until they need to be retrieved, in order to do something else entirely.

And worse: although the introduction of the wizard does not leave you any less puzzled, it frees you from caring that you are puzzled.

There is no longer the unscratched itch of an unsolved mystery about human behavior. You are not confused about a person, anymore, but about magic. And it is perfectly clear that you are never, ever going to understand magic. Your confusion is now expected, predictable. Everything is properly in order, as you can now see. You are free to go.

And yet somehow, you find, the book is not over. It will not be over for a while yet. You have other confusions, you see, which have not yet been stripped of their human interest and robbed of their allure.

(Not everything in Declare is like this, to be clear. I may be making too much of a few sore points in the plot, I guess. Still, there's no denying that I found the later parts of the book tedious, and this is at-least-sort-of why.)

[bonefall]

I haven't read Breezepelt character arc fully, but what in the banana world is the logic of "you're an evil adult, therefore you deserve all the abuse you received as a child"... What??? How do people get those ideas to begin with? Jesus

Most of the time in situations like this, the person just starts with wanting to defend a character they like. 90% of the time this is the abusive man of the week, because due to the nature of WC they liked them as an apprentice and don't like the idea that they're A Bad Guy now. SO they work backwards so their favorite boy is reasonable.

I will say it bluntly; I think the impulse is cowardly and I don't respect it.

Do you relate to a character with flaws that causes them to hurt people? Boohoo. There's no law that says you're only allowed to like perfectly moral characters. Drop the black and white thinking and realize that all people, even people you like or have positive or admirable traits, have the capacity to hurt others.

This is how we get the greatest hits like "Maybe Ashfur trying to murder his ex's kids is her fault actually" and "Perhaps Crowfeather was only an abusive father because the child had bad vibes." You look like a darn fool.

That said, I think the saddest stan behavior I see is when the stan in question was abused themselves, and hasn't unpacked it. It's unfortunately very common.

"Your father getting annoyed that you have inconvenient needs like thirst and hunger is what all dads do!"

"They didn't mean it, so the child is obliged to feel less bad about mistreatment."

"It's not abuse if they only hit you once/on the correct body part/soft enough to not leave a bruise"

"It's normal to feel constant guilt and dread around your parents."

"Abuse is discipline; bad kids deserve to get hit." (Always with the quiet implication; "I know this because I was a bad kid, I made them hurt me.")

It's good to keep in mind this fandom skews young. A lot of them are still repeating the excuses their friends and families made, and that last one is remarkably similar to the Crowfeather claim we're talking about. Child abuse is common, but most people don't want to think badly of their parents.

"A child abuser is an uncaring monster, but my parents are good people who just made some mistakes" -girlie who has not confronted the innate human capacity for harm :X

Sometimes we visit banana world. Other times, we live in banana world.

#Abuse #Child abuse #Child abuse cw #Abuse apologia

[oopsallfictives]

I'm gonna take a stab at creating an alternate definition of the word delusion, since I'm not a fan of the one commonly used in a medical context. This is gonna deal with some unreality and paranoia-inducing stuff, so read at your own risk.

The definition most commonly used for delusion is a false belief that a person can't be persuaded isn't real or true, even if they're shown evidence to the contrary. This is a flawed definition for a number of reasons, chief among them that sometimes people are just wrong and stubborn about it. We know that it can be incredibly difficult for people to change their minds once they're personally invested in an idea, but that's not the same as being delusional. A person who still believes vaccines cause autism probably isn't delusional, they're just personally invested in the idea because it validates their view that autism is bad and gives them a scapegoat to blame for the existence of autistic people. That's an ideology, not a delusion.

Another flaw is that some things can't necessarily be confirmed to be untrue. One of the most well-known (and commonly mocked) delusions is some variation of "the government is spying on me". This isn't something that's easily verified as either true on untrue, and it's also something that literally does happen to people. I live in the US, where we know the government spies on people. We know that in the wake of 9/11, US intelligence agencies undertook a massive campaign of surveillance of Muslim and Middle Eastern people living in the US. So "the government is spying on me" might not actually be a false belief, and you probably can't know that for sure.

Attempting to rely on a belief being false can be dangerous, too. I remember reading the story of a person who was labelled as delusional for saying Obama followed them on Twitter, and was incarcerated in a psych ward until they lied and said they'd realized they were delusional and Obama didn't follow them. The thing is, he did. It was true and verifiable, but the medical professional evaluating them refused to check if it was true so they didn't "encourage the delusion". Sane people tend to believe they have an absolute and correct understand of reality, and a lot of them would rather call you delusional than adjust their worldview. And if that person is a medical professional, they can completely turn your life upside down and stick you in conditions that the UN has called torture.

So here's my proposed alternative: a delusion is an involuntary belief that isn't rooted in logic or evidence, and that a person can't stop believing even if they know it isn't true.

Let's break that down. The involuntary part is important. Delusional people don't have control over our delusions. We don't believe them because we want to or because we think they're true, we just believe them. It's true that delusions can draw on voluntary beliefs, including bigotry, but believing the delusion isn't a choice. We can't just stop. In the case of delusions rooted in bigotry, the person is still responsible for holding those bigoted beliefs in the first place, even though they don't have control of the delusion that came from them. This is an important caveat, because people love to call bigots delusional for things they chose to believe.

The second part is that it's not rooted in any kind of logic or evidence. If a person believes something untrue due to faulty logic and/or misinformation, that's not a delusion. That's called being wrong.

Lastly, I chose the wording "even if they know it's not true" very deliberately. Some delusional people know, either always or sometimes, that our delusions aren't real or true. I personally always know, but that never stops me believing them. If you've never experienced this, it can be hard to imagine what it feels like to know something isn't true and still be unable to stop believing in it. It's contradictory and confusing and really hard to put into words. Of course, there are also delusional people who don't know their delusions aren't true, or who're confused and can't figure it out. It's not the same for everyone. This part of the definition also covers being presented evidence and being unable to accept it as true.

For some people, being told their delusions aren't true can also be extremely distressing and even push them further into it. Never reality check a delusional person unless they ask you to, or it's part of a crisis plan you made with them. The same goes for playing into or confirming a delusion. Do your best to remain neutral on whether or not their belief is true, and try to focus more on their emotions and how it's affecting them. If you know a psychotic person, it's a good idea to ask them (preferably while they're not having a psychotic episode) how they'd like you to handle it.

I'm open to critique from other psychotic people, but if you're aggressive or mean I'll probably just ignore you. This is just an idea, a rough draft, and I'd like to know what the community thinks. Nonpsychotics can reblog, but keep your thoughts to yourself

-Oliver (it/its)

#the quicksilvers say #psychosis #delusions #schizophrenia #actually psychotic #actually delusional #actually schizophrenic #unreality #paranoia inducing

[thishazbinamistake]

In my opinion, Loona is a character with some of the most wasted potential in Helluva Boss.

Though we don't have a ton of information about her background, we do know she lived in a shelter for much (or maybe even all) of her childhood. Loona is cold and distant to her adoptive father, and outright rude to many others, particularly Moxxie, who she constantly mocks and belittles. I'm thinking that this behavior is either a result of her upbringing, or perhaps it was even the reason she was put into the shelter to begin with. But until more is revealed about her past, I want to complain about the way she's currently written.

Loona is abusive, plain and simple. The way she treats Blitz, her adoptive father, goes way past simple angsty teenage rebellion and well into the abuse territory. Any semblance of Loona being remotely sympathetic was thrown out the window in Seeing Stars, when she kicks Blitz in the groin, all because he was relieved to see her and wanted to give her a hug. And all of that after she gives Octavia the "cut your dad some slack" speech.

I've seen people try and defend this behavior by pointing out that Loona has childhood trauma, and this is why she has these behavioral issues. It's certainly not unheard of for victims of childhood abuse/neglect to have anger issues and poor emotional regulation, and I would have absolutely no problem with this being the case if it was shown to actually be a problem, but it isn't. Not once does Loona get called out for her behavior or face any sort of consequence for treating others poorly. If anything, this abusive behavior is treated as a joke more often than not.

It's extremely ironic that one of the most despised characters in Helluva Boss, Stella, receives so much hate for being abusive towards Stolas, when we've seen Loona do far worse to Blitz. I honestly cannot think of a logical reason as to why we're supposed to like Loona, while also hating Stella. We see Stella nearly hit Stolas and it's (rightfully) treated as being abusive. But when Loona is constantly beating up her dad for no good reason, we're just supposed to laugh? It seems extremely hypocritical on both the writers' part, as well as many of the fans'. I honestly can't tell if the writers genuinely think this behavior is okay (when it's coming from Loona) or if they just see it as a quirky character trait of hers.

If we're supposed to find Loona likeable, which we clearly are, then the writers seriously need to start making some changes. I'm not saying they should just completely retcon Loona's character and suddenly make her nice, but they do need to start being consistant with how they portray abuse, and they seriously need to stop excusing and coddling her horrible behavior, regardless of if she has childhood trauma. That is not how you grow as a person and overcome your issues. Yes, it's a process that is often long and difficult, but it hasn't been shown that Loona is actually trying to make any change at all, or that anyone is actually encouraging her to change.

If you want an actually halfway decent example of a character overcoming their trauma (at least within the Hellaverse) look no further than Blitz himself. It's clear his father was abusive and explotative towards him, not to mention he accidentally caused the death of his mother and the maiming of his close friend. Both of these things likely contributed to many of Blitz's flaws and issues as an adult. But the thing is, despite all that, Blitz himself isn't abusive to his daughter. He has shown nothing but unconditional love and devotion to his daughter despite his past. I'm not saying Blitz is a perfect character by any means (I won't excuse him literally threatening to rape his employees), but it really goes to show this whole argument of 'Loona acts the way she does because she has childhood trauma and that makes it okay' doesn't hold up to scrutiny as much as her stans seem to think.

I think a good idea would be to start showing more of how Loona's behavior negatively affects those around her, something which would give her the motivation to want to change. Show how hurt Blitz feels whenever Loona lashes out at him. We get a taste of this in Spring Broken when she hurts Blitz's feelings, but it's clear from both her dialogue in the scene as well as her later actions that the writers apparently don't want her to actually learn from her mistakes and grow as a character, which is such a shame.

Loona had the opportunity to be an extremely complex and compelling character if her aggression and violent outbursts were actually addressed as being a problem she needed to overcome, and if she actually tried changing herself for the better. Seeing the effort she puts into treating others better and breaking the cycle of abuse would have made her character feel so much stronger and more likeable. But instead, the show just treats this abusive behavior as a quirky, edgy joke and "lol that's just classic Loona!! What can ya do lol!!!"

She does have her moments where a good character actually shines through, but they're so few and far in between. I want to like Loona so much, but as it currently stands, I just can't, and that makes me sad.

#helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #loona critical

[cosmicjoke]

I swear to god, if I see one more person say Levi wanted to kill Zeke for "revenge" and blubber on about how revenge "blinded" him and that's why he got caught in the thunderspear explosion, I think I'll throw myself off a cliff.

It had nothing to do with revenge, or a desire for self-satisfaction. It was an entirely selfless pursuit, undertaken in the memory and in honor of his fallen comrades, the ones who gave their lives that day in Shinganshina. I've been over this so many times, I'm not going to go over it again in detail here. But anyone who doesn't yet understand that is, I'm sorry, fundamentally flawed in their understanding of Levi's character. This isn't an interpretation. Levi explicitly states that the reason he wants to kill Zeke is to prove his comrades deaths had meaning. He says it. Not only is the idea that Levi wanted Zeke dead for revenge and that he was "blinded" by that desire fundamentally flawed in its understanding of Levi's character, it also completely lacks logic. If Levi was really "blinded" by a quest for revenge, he would have just killed Zeke at the first opportunity he had, regardless of the consequences. He would have killed him in Shinganshina. He would have killed him in Liberio. He would have killed him in the forest. And yet, he didn't, specifically because he wasn't blinded by his need to kill Zeke at all. He had a calm and rational mind about it the entire time, one he continued to exercise to the very end.

And this idea that Levi getting caught in the thunderspear explosion was some sort of "comeuppance" for his violence or his blind desire for Zeke's blood is equally illogical and absurd, and again, completely misunderstands the source of Levi's rage in that moment. Anyone who claims so is engaging in some serious, holier than thou moralizing. Levi torturing Zeke in the cart on the way back to the Capital had nothing to do with his vow to kill him. Levi was grieving, and in a massive amount of emotional distress, because Zeke had just forced him to kill nearly 30 of his own comrades. Men and women Levi had, as with all his comrades, sworn to protect and people for whom he was directly responsible. People that posit this idea that Levi somehow deserved to "pay" for his anger in this moment are essentially claiming that it's always "wrong" to hate or be angry at someone when they've brutally wronged you. That we're always supposed to be "the bigger person" and "forgive" them and "turn the other cheek" and all that moralistic bullshit, and if you don't, then you deserve every bad thing that comes your way. Get the fuck out of here. Levi had EVERY right to be as angry as he was in that moment, and I'm sorry, but anyone who denies him that right is an asshole, and a hypocrite, because there's no such thing as anyone who wouldn't have been viciously, violently angry at someone who had just forced you into slaughtering your own friends and colleagues. Taken especially within the context of who Levi is, with the understanding of how driven he is by the need to protect life and help people, with how much value he places on people's lives, it puts into perspective just exactly how cruel it was what Zeke did to him. How exactly was Levi meant to react? Are we meant to judge him for being as angry as he was? For resorting to violence? Is anyone really going to sit here with a straight face and claim that they wouldn't have felt and done exactly the same in his shoes? I don't buy that for a minute. Most people wouldn't have even possessed Levi's level of restraint. They would have simply killed Zeke, and to hell with the consequences.

Further, Levi's very words to Hange about not understanding how prepared Zeke was to die show that he wasn't purely fueled by anger either, in this moment. It was a rational choice on his part to hook Zeke up to that thunderspear, insurance against his attempted escape, because he believed Zeke wasn't prepared to die, something I've talked about before, here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/746918499422781440/one-thing-i-dont-think-people-really-consider?source=share

Further still, if Isayama had intended for Levi’s desire to kill Zeke to be interpreted as revenge, and all the negative connotations of that, he would have had Levi realize the foolishness of his actions immediately after nearly being blown to Kingdom Come, and shown him remorseful and regretful in that moment over wanting Zeke dead, since, supposedly, him nearly dying was meant to be his lesson and punishment in the foolhardiness of revenge’s pursuit, according to these people. Yet Levi showed no such remorse or regret for wanting Zeke dead, only for him not understanding Zeke’s willingness to die. And Isayama himself wouldn’t have spoken about one of the reasons he didn’t kill Levi being how Levi’s journey wouldn’t be complete without him fulfilling his vow. Levi’s desire to kill Zeke was never framed in a negative light for a reason.

This total misinterpretation of Levi's motives with regard to Zeke is the source of so many of the negative and hateful views about his character that we see floating around, and yet it's continually perpetuated by people, over and over again, and I'm sick of it.

Levi never wanted revenge. He only ever wanted to ensure his comrades didn't die for nothing. It was a noble goal. Revenge isn't noble. But wanting to honor your friends and comrades memories and lives is. Levi never deserved to be punished for that, and honestly, fuck you to anyone who says he did. It takes a particular and acute lack of self-awareness and arrogance for anyone to make such a sickening and cruel claim.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #Zeke Yeager #meta #commentary #analysis

[stars-and-clouds]

what is your personal take on astarion remembering the first decade of his slavery and the "darling boy/sweet man" that he didn't bring back? do you think he had romantic feelings for this person or do you think they were just the first of many other innocent souls that he had to stop feeling sorry/caring for because of what happened afterwards?

I have made a post about this before. Not exactly this, but I reference that incident as a sign of how protective a person Astarion naturally is.

I think Astarion is naturally a protector. Hence the fact that he even chose to be judge so he can help people find justice. Might not be the only reason he studied law, but certainly would've been a part of it.

I think when one is in the situation Astarion was in, one would find oneself finding anything to justify one's actions, especially when one can't control them. So, Astarion must've told himself, "most people are flawed or bad in some way so it's okay if I take them to Cazador." It's their punishment for not being better people. It's fair in a twisted manner of logic.

But, that logic must've not worked when he met this innocent guy, who was a "sweet, sweet man," and a "darling". I'm sure he would've felt very protective of the boy and maybe even liked him. It would've been wrong to take him to Cazador because there is no reason. That's why he ran away.

So, I don't think he was in love with the boy. Astarion is a realist and he would've been under no illusions that he can sustain any relationship with anyone outside of the palace (or even inside it. Slavers keep slaves separate bc there's power in unity.), nor would he have had the emotional availability for love. He doesn't even the emotional availablilty for it in the main campaign until act 3 lmao. He could've had a soft spot for the man, but not love.

I think Astarion stopped caring not after the boy but after Cazador's punishment. I cannot imagine even a few hours of being inside that tomb, let alone an entire year. That has to completely change a person. It is a lot of time to panic, think, breakdown, reflect, create resolutions and completely 180° your entire perspective on life. That's when I think Astarion became as selfish as he did.

He prayed to be saved, no one did. He tried doing good by saving the boy, and he got punished severely for it. He wanted to be a magister and be on the side of justice, but he got kidnapped for it. I feel like the boy was taken anyway by some other spawn, just to spite Astarion as well, so him running away was useless too.

I think being in that tomb changed Astarion completely and that's when he decided that being helpful and 'good' is not the right thing to do, so he became who he we meet in the main campaign. Selfish, ruthless and a realist.

#bg3 #astarion #Baldur's gate 3 #Astarion ancunin #Astarion analysis #Bg3 analysis #Asks #Ask #Answer

[eff-plays]

But Astarion does seem to feel guilt/remorse when meeting the 7k spawns… idk it feels sometimes he does feel guilt and sometimes he’s just heartless.,

If this is in response to this post I made, then that post was in response to this and also some other fandom bullshit.

So I'm not saying Astarion doesn't feel remorse ever, but highlighting that at the core of his being, he is deeply selfish and self-serving, which a lot of fandom seems to either excuse away, or pretend is super good actually.

Here's the thing. Astarion does feel remorse ... in the Spawn ending. And obviously he feels no remorse in the Ascendant ending. So what happens with reglier ol' Asty? Well, he's not letting himself feel remorse. Because he's still not ready for it. He's still afraid of it. And like, yes! That's a totally logical thing for his character to do in that moment.

My problem is what people do next, and it's that they assume that his being this fucked up is actually an excuse to be a shithead to his victims and to others. That we should extend sympathy only to him and not to the people he's hurt.

"Well he was forced into it!" And? If I was forced into hurting someone else for my own survival, I'd still feel bad for hurting them? Most people would. I'm not saying Astarion doesn't, but that is distinctly how he acts. Which makes sense, self-defense mechanism etc etc. And stans agree that yes, he does supposedly feel guilt but he can't express it. So why do they excuse it when he instead chooses cruelty?

Again, I'm not making a moral judgment on him, he's a fictional character. I think what he does is (generally, I agree the reaction to the kids vs Sebastian is a bit odd) logical and makes sense for what he is. But pointing out those flaws of his, that were written like that on purpose, that are acknowledged flaws both in- and out-of-universe, doesn't make someone "gross" or a bad person. People disliking Astarion for his bad traits aren't automatically bad people who just don't get him.

He's a dick! He's written to be a dick! It's fine if people don't vibe with it or joke about killing him or do outright kill him! Will they miss out? Yes! But that's their perogative. People not liking Astarion, or hell, just doing something as innocuous as pointing out that he's kind of a huge asshole, are not uwu missing the point or being "gross" or whatever. They are acknowledging a fundamental and undisputable part of his character.

You can't on one hand wax poetic about how complex he is and how he lashes out because he's in such deep pain, and then take issue with people who point out how he lashes out and how it hurts others when he does so.

Speaking of, the thing about his reaction to the spawn kids? And how he supposedly feels bad but can't express it? He's all about killing them again! He wants to kill them! And when does he express remorse over both this wish and his actions toward them when he first victimized them? In the Spawn ending. The one that requires you to tell him no. Don't do that shit. It's bad. What you want is bad for you and for everyone else, even if it makes sense why you want it.

As a friend pointed out, it is kind of wild to see how life imitates art. In order for Astarion to get better, you need to acknowledge and push back against his cruelty and challenge his view of the world. That includes challenging his shitty coping mechanisms and reactions to things. And yet, it seems some people can't even do that.

You can acknowledge the complexities of his writing without using it as a cudgel against any and all criticism. And in particular, you can sympathize with him without attacking anyone who doesn't have the same level of sympathy, for usually quite understandable reasons.

Like I keep saying. Just because you understand how he acts doesn't make it somehow correct!

Anyway, sorry about that. I just had some thots because my brain is so big and full of worms.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion #bg3 fandom critical #anyway i've decided i'd rather be in a room full of people who dislike astarion for understandable reasons #than love him for real stupid ones