#it is what it is my beloved!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

good-beans · 8 months

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hi i'd like to know about your transfem fuuta thoughts please. if that's ok

"if that's ok" as if I haven't been rotating transfem fuuta in my mind for a long time and dying for an excuse to post something 👀👀👀 Thank you so much Ah!! I was able to format my little ideas and headcanons into an actual write-up, I just love this concept so much! All the big murderous twists in the series and I’ll never get over it is what it is...

So, as much as I enjoy headcanons about some big revelation moment, I think that Fuuta Terminally Online Kajiyama has been very aware of his identity for a while. He just never really got the motivation to do anything about it. He knows he's not completely satisfied with his gender, but isn't constantly suffering over it, so he thinks telling people/transitioning would be way too much of a hassle at that point in his life. He also struggles with people taking him seriously given his height, attitude, etc -- unconsciously he's also worried it will only make matters worse in that area.

He wouldn't dare say anything to his parents, and wants to avoid hassle with his friends. People paint them as judgy incels sometimes, but if they were really calling out ‘bad guys’ online, I always got the vibe they were those annoying type of progressives who will harass people for not being accepting in the perfect correct way, you know? They'd be outwardly supportive but there's still a level of high expectations and performance that comes with it, and so deep down Fuuta understands there'd be a "hassle," but can't really define why.

I mentioned in another hc post that Fuuta and his sister have a silent supportive relationship. I feel like she's the one person in his life who knows everything and is super accepting -- this is understood even though neither have said anything out loud. (When he was younger, she definitely forced him into skirts, dresses, and accessories "to check something for her beautician work.") She's noticed all the times he's picked a female avatar in games, or cosplayed in ambiguous outfits.

Then, Milgram. Thinking his life will be over soon anyway, he opens up to a few of the prisoners about himself. Their unexpected openness keeps it on his mind more often than before. Still, nothing changes. Through some rocky verdicts, he's declared innocent and released.

Back in the real world, he's pretty fucked up from the whole ordeal, and starts off extremely isolated. He's in touch with his family, but distant. He maintains contact with some of the other released prisoners, but it starts off only over the phone. He changes schools or maybe drops out completely. Having deleted all online accounts after the incident, he gets to work setting up a new online presence. He was planning on using an alias anyways, and goes with something gender neutral. "To be extra safe that no one guesses it's me," he tells himself.

Letting his hair grow out begins as an accident -- just a side effect of never going out or minding his appearance. One day he realizes how long he's let it go and grabs some scissors to cut it. He makes a comment in his chat, and someone begs him to send a picture first. He goes to take it, but is suddenly disgusted and ashamed of his self-neglect. He's forced to make himself selfie presentable first: brushing his hair and throwing on something clean real quick. When he goes to take the picture, he realizes it looks good. It feels good. He puts the scissors away.

Soon, the prisoners/some new online friends coax Fuuta to hang out more. That's when she decides to reintroduce herself into society as someone new. She ventures out with the name of a favorite video game character. (I'm going to continue saying Fuuta because I genuinely can't name a single popular character from games she'd play, but just picture the most painfully obvious one you can. The kind you hear and go "oh okay. You play X too much, huh." And please send me your thoughts so I can work them into my own personal canon 👀)

She doesn't have any hatred towards her deadname, it's more the pain of association: she remembers it said accusingly from the mouths of ex-friends. She remembers that name being called a murderer. She's not trying to deny/run from that past, she just wants to be someone better. Well, some days it is her way of running away, but most of the time it's a healthy separation from the past.

Encouraged by the positive reception and abundance of privacy in her isolation, she finally starts to explore her appearance more. Mikoto left behind some earrings during a visit -- she pierces her ears herself and tries them on. (If she doesn't like them, the holes will just heal, right? She's not weak, she can take a little pain...) Yuno/Mahiru stayed over once, and left a bit of makeup in the bathroom. She tries that on too. With a beautician in the family, this self-styling comes very easily. Fuuta's cowardly tendencies have her torn between embarrassment and her typical 'fuck you' attitude that she can do whatever she wants.

You know when you solve a tiny problem and suddenly you're smacked with how much of a huge problem it actually was? Fuuta never believed she had any issues before, but all of the sudden she's happier. Every day is easier. She has more friends. True friends. She does better with school/work. Her personality is still fiery, but it's more passion than irritability now. Self-hatred she didn't recognize starts melting away. She smiles more. She laughs more. She has plans for her future. She's excited about her future.

(Shameless art plug hehe, before I had the timeline nailed down I did a little drawing of that selfie Fuuta takes when she realizes she's satisfied with this appearance, and now has newfound motivation to move forward in life.)

Over time she experiments with other elements of transitioning, and maybe changes her name to something a bit more subtle lol.

Unfortunately, I don't think it would go over well with her parents, but she never much cared for their opinions, anyway. One day a bit in the future, she bumps into her old friends in the street. Once recovering from panic, she's pleasantly surprised that they don't recognize her. Fuuta thought her appearance/fashion wasn't that different, but to fair, the friends figured they'd remember a stunning redhead with a very noticeable eye injury if they'd met before...

And just a few quick prisoner reactions (because in my heart they're all making it out ;--;):

Yuno has similar relationship as Fuuta's sister, offering immense help without unnecessary words. She's Fuuta’s go-to contact for trying new things and asking questions.

When Mahiru first finds out, she goes a bit overboard with a makeover attempt. She and Muu provide their most frilly, glimmering outfits. They paint her nails and do makeup. They style her hair. This obviously turns out to be way too much, earning them a Fuuta-typical rant. Still, she's secretly moved by their enthusiasm and kindness.

After that, designer Mikoto tries his hand at helping. Fuuta had been really worried the two of them would lose their guys nights out and relaxed friendship, but their relationship never changes.

Shidou is very accepting and very awkward. He's trying!! He gets excited, sending her all this information and help for medically transitioning.

Fuuta invites Kazui to their first pride parade <3

Though there's no return address on the package, Fuuta receives a gift of miscellaneous earrings and piercings in the mail with a note that they'd suit her well…

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #and the others briefly #(i never know how to write pre and post transition pronouns so i just switch when she does)#thank youuuuu ive literally wanted to post something but wasnt sure if it was silly or anyone would care ;-; so this made me sooo excited #fuuta my beloved!!#it is what it is my beloved!!#i just want that for her so bad!!#its funny because i know thats not what yamanaka intended and still it fits So Well:#theres so much attention on her self perception - fear of how others perceive her - the self hatred - the layered clothes #OUGH #haruka amane and es are supportive as well i just couldnt think of specifics #jackalope isnt -_-#i say fuuta and kazui went to pride together but i mean practically all the other prisoners are there too sadfds #its just the biggest deal to them #another art mention -- @sequoiareachesforthesky drew her the other day and ive been Looking Hoo Boy 👁️👁️#im a little obsessed with it asdfsdfd #i was supposed to finish my next drabble before formatting all this but shhh i wont tell if you dont #im just stuck on some simple dialogue but this was flowin lol #i dont know other peoples thoughts on her but i hope you enjoy :3 #and yeah i live under a rock and know 0 gamer names -- please tell me lol #rose posts

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ikeepseeingghosts · 5 months

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If anyone is more interested in the work behind the Gävle goat there is apparently a documentary here, mostly in swedish, but what I found most charming is that you can climb into the goat through a door in it's behind.

And if you ever wondered: yes, according to rumors a couple have fucked in the Gävle goat. In 1966 in fact, the first year it was up and before any kind of arson. I don't know why they threw that into the documentary but this goat has layers is all I'm saying.

#gävle goat #gävlebocken #my beloved <3 #what if we kissed inside the gävle goat?

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nariism · 9 months

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neuvillette is aware that he shouldn’t have let you get so close. but he did, and now he’s lamenting the fact that your hands are grasping at his soft horns — his fucking horns, of all places — and he might like it.

uptight and strait-laced, you’ve never known the chief justice to be someone so easily flustered. yet here he is with heat crawling up his neck, so warm that you can feel it against your palms as they ghost over his skin.

you can’t help but laugh at his current situation.

he was vehemently against you coming anywhere near his hair at first, grumbling about how his horns were on the sensitive side and he would rather not have to go into work feeling uncomfortably aware of their presence on his head.

however, you were hard to deny with that little smile on your face and such soft hands grabbing at his arms, tugging him closer. a sweet voice chanting, "please, honey? pretty please?"

neuvillette has never been good at denying you what you want.

it’s how he ends up sitting at your shared vanity. you comb through his long hair, watching him with amusement in the mirror as he huffs and jolts with every brush of your fingers against his horns.

the fact that he was letting you get anywhere near them was surely a testament to his trust in you. he was completely vulnerable here, at your mercy.

“sorry,” you mumble disingenuously, clearly enjoying seeing your usually serious husband falling apart with a simple action. you quickly tie off the end of his hair with a bow and he sighs in relief, thinking that the torment is over.

it's far from over.

he draws a sharp breath when you lean forward and press two gentle kisses on him; one on either side of his head just beside his horns.

neuvillette glowers at you in the reflection, disapproval written all over his face. "stop that," he scolds.

you do, but only because you're worried he might melt into a puddle before your very eyes if you continue.

it becomes a daily routine after that, with him sitting patiently in front of the mirror while you brush and tie off his hair. and you always end it the same way: two kisses, a soft "have a good day at work," murmured against him, and a mischievous little smile that makes him sigh.

he responds everyday with the same two words. "stop that," with a narrow-eyed glare.

the day you do stop, he's confused and irritated.

not only because you have the audacity to throw a wrench into routine again, which you know he hates, but also because he can't figure out why he misses your lips so much.

"what are you doing? i am going to be late."

"hm?" you peer up lazily from your spot on the bed, still half asleep.

"you have to do my hair."

"i thought you didn't want me to, so i slept in today."

your husband is eerily silent for a moment as he mulls over your words. then, he carefully perches himself on the edge of the bed, back turned to you expectantly and still wordless.

no, he would never admit he likes it just a little bit — the vulnerability, the trust, the feeling of your hands threading through his hair, the intimacy of it. hell no.

but neuvillette doesn't have to say a lot of things for you to understand; not when the way his skin heats up says it all; not when you're the first person to touch his horns in centuries; not when he’s saying stop that with such an affectionate glimmer in his eyes.

you give him four kisses that morning, two on either side.

#— whispers in the wind ✧#not proofread i'm sorry #neuvillette my beloved my BELOVED my husband my lover my meow meow #he makes me insane #also idk if i would call those things on his head horns but that's what everyone else calls them #neuvillette #neuvillette genshin #neuvillette fluff #neuvillette x y/n #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fic #genshin impact fluff

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luppiart · 9 months

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Hihi haha hoho huhu *im insane

#what just happened #thanks gaiman for pulling my hair and dragging me on the floor #can’t believe i waited 14 years to get punched #brb gonna process all this #coffee theory my beloved #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #otp #fanart #de bons présages #a/c #drawing #sketch #goodomens2 #such pain #Spotify

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lelelego · 6 months

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welcome to novac, stranger

#novac my dearly beloved #fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #this was the first page of a comic i've since ditched because................................ too much work lol #but it was about how eli and boone first (kind of) met!#still debating if what i had planned is kind of cringe or if i should just say whatever and go fuck it embrace cringe #doodly thingy

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sirenetica · 4 months

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My beautiful boyfriend @spellboundcities made art of the wonderful DDVAU (made by @xmaruu11 and @kitsuneisi respectively) and, obviously, i took that as a CHALLENGE!

So here's some fanart for a wonderful AU!

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starwarjotta · 3 months

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looking for someone on Tatooine

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ash-and-starlight · 1 year

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hades atla bisexual simulator

#id in alt text #hadesgame artstyle is the most poggers thing on this fucking earth let me just YOINK steal it #i haven’t played a single minute of hades in my life btw #but i’m familiar with its bisexuality #it calls to mine like a siren’s song #i wanted to add lil dialogue options to them but my brain farted before it got done so. this is what u get :3 #zuko #sokka #suki #yue #pondering the orb #my art #also: LAST ART OF THE YEAR BESTIE BELOVEDS THANK U FOR MAKING THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF SHARING ART SO MUCH FUN #KISSES FOR ALL

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mintypsii · 5 months

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NO CUZ WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM

#I HATE HIM #edit: reblogged this with a tied up sanji version 😭 hes so pathetic #ugh what is wrong with him #blonde men are woman to me /ref #is he okay #my beloved #one piece #op #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #sanji vinsmoke #min watches one piece

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miilkybnn · 6 months

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y’all know that one audition tape Neil did? Yeah, so anyways make it Soap

#john soap mactavish #cod soap #cod art #soap art #john mactavish #cod fanart #call of duty #cod modern warfare #my art #milky art #cod #sorry for falling off the face of the earth it will happen again #HES SOOO #BTW IF YALL DONT KNOW WHAT IM REFERING TO JUST ASK ILL TELL YALL #my discord friends have just been hearing me talk about this man non stop for the past 3 to 4 days because of his smug fucking grin #i’m going to choke him with my bare hands (affectionately)#neil ellice #bc technically #bubbles the beloved

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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i don't know what this is. the plush has invaded my brain. it has the controls now

#three of us! just three of us! look closely you will see...#dhmis but its the different wall..eys. ies. eyes. walleyes. WHAT IS THE PLURAL #fr tho i need the plush. i need it #thank FUCK there's a 21 day window #otherwise!! i would never have him!! and id be Crushed!!#he needs to be in my arms....#scribble salad #welcome home #honestly though the plush is In My Brain #ive rewatched the ad so many times already...#its endeared me to howdy further. wally as well but thats a given #howdy my beloved....

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kudzuoath · 6 months

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this post Inspired me to draw this. Because Temperance (and all the Gale-mancing Tav's, I'm sure) just wants to let this man to know he's loved and valued and goddamn it hand kisses are high romance and the kind of kiss I'm capable of drawing

(if you saw a different version of this a second ago, i realized the last 'panel' was off and quickly reposted)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate fanart #gale bg3 #gale/tav #gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #my art #beloved wizard #bg3 gale #gale x tav #Temperance Crier #slowly but surely learning how to draw this man #no idea what posessed me to line and color this

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spielzeugkaiser · 26 days

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I come back for a hot second (and go into hiding pretty much right again) with some redrawn screencaps of what I'm watching currently!! 👀 All I have in me are the sillies-

#one piece #straw hat pirates #tony tony chopper #roronoa zoro #sanji #cat burglar nami #monkey d. luffy #from those scenes I picked you might be able to guess where I currently am on my rewatch 👀#I NEEDED SOMETHING SILLY GUYS #and since I've seen opla I was like. what if. what if I do continue to watch it #(I originally have only watched one piece up to water 7 - maybe parts of the timeskip and sabody - that was YEARS ago)#I also need to add that I LOVE NAMI THIS TIME AROUND AAAAA #also sanji my pathetic wet kitten #CHOPPER!! ZORO!! LUFFY MY BELOVED #also I have not been sleeping on usopp guys

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lotus-pear · 1 month

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characters that lose the most important person to them and are devastated by having to live in a world without them and get stuck in a futile time loop that turns them crueler and crueler and more and more fervently obsessed with the person they initially lost because they just want a world where that person is alive and are initially written off as heartless before the sickening realization that their devotion is so painfully human. you will always be dear to me.

#yes this is about homura akemi. what of it #beast dazai too #my two beloveds i love dark haired psychopaths obsessed with their dearest #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #homura akemi #pmmm homura #bungou stray dogs beast #bsd beast #beast dazai

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mobius-m-mobius · 7 months

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