#it was the dishes joke.

[catto-ohno]

it might be early because time-zones but... Trick or Treat! (i must confess that, as an Australian, i have never been trick-or-treating, do you actually say trick or treat at every house? it seems repetitive...)

TRICK!

PIPEBOMB!

My answer is yes, and some kids make up something similar or add something new to the phrase. When I was little, I'd tell knock knock jokes.

#yes they were puns #yes it was the same fucking pun at each door #it was the dishes joke. #x answers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.

I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)

#poorly drawn mdzs #art summary #It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year! #I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on. #My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3 #Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*) #There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster! #My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been- #-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit. #Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it. #And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!! #I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes. #but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary. #I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*) #I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!

[indelicateink]

as an american, sam reid’s total inability to hide his contempt for overly fake-chipper american journalists, especially ones who Have Not Done The Assigned Reading know and care about the show, will never not be hilarious and iconic to me

#sometimes he can dial it back to civil blank apathy #but i have never laughed and cringed like that at the same time #sorry we’re so fake bro we’re just Like That #his frank tiredness with unoriginal or dumb questions is kinda refreshing #i think we first got it full-blast with It’s What’s Written In The Books last season #after 5K ‘why is it gay’ questions #but that latest Dish tv interview where the journo joked they thought he was dead holy fuck #defcon 1 levels of Done #it’s sort of fascinating since generally all celebrities play along with any interviewing atrocities they suffer though #american fakeism is the lowest bar to endure but the man is just a wall #lol don’t lose that sir #iwtv #interview with the vampire #okay no sorry this is my ted talk— #i mean he’s not alone frex some european actors in particular seem to pull out their best acting chops when #faced with shrilly chipper american interviewers #though sometimes you can catch the horror in their eyes #and hugh grant epically blanked that one effusive interviewer on the red carpet at the oscars the yr before last #and was almost assigned 40 lashes in the court of public opinion #(​until will smith sucked all the oxygen out of the room) #but sam reid is just full stop not going to reflect back. it’s…kind of awesome and not a little brave in this biz #anyway this has been my ted talk #saluting an icon 🫡

[newoozi]

your new friend vernon is walking you home one night, telling you all about the date his mom is setting him up on in an attempt to “get out there more”. he admits it’s been a while since he’s taken somebody on a date, and he’s sort of nervous and half dreading it. he doesn’t even have any idea what he’s going to wear.

the two of you reach the front of your apartment building, and you face to look at him. placing your hands on his shoulders you teasingly say, “wear that navy blue polo shirt of yours. it almost makes you look nice.”

he huffs out a small laugh in response, but the truth is he’s sort of spiraling. you notice what he’s wearing beyond an aesthetic sense? do you pay attention to how the shirt fits him perfectly, how it hugs at his chest and shows off his arms? of course, vernon knows he’s attractive — people swoon over him on the daily, and many times he can get away with not paying for ramen at the convenience store if the girl at the counter is young. but, it never crossed his mind that you thought about him in that way. it was different with you, wasn’t it?

he thinks about that, and you, on the way back to his dorm.

you text him to ask about his date the next night, the curiosity getting the better of you.

how was ur date? did she appreciate the polo?

he admits he didn’t wear the polo, but doesn’t offer any explanation as to why. he adds that the date was going fine until they were saying goodbye and she went in for a kiss on the cheek and he held out his hand. he probably won’t see her again.

you laugh out loud at his message.

when it’s your birthday a week later, he wears the polo to the casual dinner you host at your place with your closest friends. he notices when your eyes linger on his lean figure, and the way you blush when you know you’ve been caught. you’re almost sure he’s worn it on purpose.

#he hangs back after everyone’s gone and offers to help with the dishes #you insist that he doesn’t have to #he’s already done enough with the probably expensive gift he got you and taking time out of his busy schedule to be here #but he’s persistent about staying so you let him #he puts on your apron that has little cupcakes on them and they make his chest stand out even more #you want to pull your hair out your scalp #maybe it doesn’t go far that night. maybe he loads your dishwasher and laughs at your jokes and recounts memorable moments from the dinner #maybe you go to bed dreaming of more. #just maybe. #anyways this isn’t anything like. it was an idea i had as part of that long fic of mine that I’ll never get around to writing but anyways. #vernon fluff #vernon x reader #chwe vernon #vernon #like this isn’t an excerpt it’s just… been on my mind that’s all

[tippenfunkaport]

I like to headcanon that Melog is just the biggest busybody. It's been bored and alone on a dead planet for decades with no one to talk to, the mundane day to day drama of other people is such a novelty to it, it can't get enough. Plus it can become invisible and doesn't have a great grasp of privacy so it's forever listening in on conversations and generally getting way too invested in everyone's personal business.

Which means Catra, to her vast dismay, knows everyone's secrets. She would really REALLY rather not and has tried to teach Melog about boundaries but the creature does what it wants. But it means that sometimes she finds out about some misunderstanding or missed connection going on that is so downright stupid that it's just going to drive her nuts if she lets it continue so she begrudgingly has to insert herself into this drama to match-make or clear up an argument literally just so she doesn't have to hear about it anymore.

Which means, to her absolute horror she gets this reputation of being near psychic, so good at resolving personal drama that people come to her with their problems no matter how she tries to deter them and meanwhile it's really because Tealog over here is addicted to gossip.

#catra as reluctant columbo au #Tealog is my daughter's joke #credit where it's due #right after the finale she used to write these journal entries from Melog's POV that started with 'What's the tea-log?' #because she is far funnier than all of us #melog watching glimbow confess in The Heart Part 1 while eating metaphoric popcorn #beaming this piping hot dish directly to Catra while she is trying to save her girlfriend / the universe #catra leave melog on read #spop #catra #she ra #headcanon #melog #shera

[ozzgin]

Ozz :(

I haven't eat in 18+ hours. Can you hand feed me your favourite dish? You have to or else I refuse to eat at all ;-;

I got you anon, don’t worry. Ignore the fire trucks outside, they must be doing some training drills.

#personal #doodle #jokes aside I do enjoy cooking and have been told I’m good at it #though I can’t think of one particular dish right now #maybe shakshuka? Japanese curry? vegan beef stew?

[caramelldansenu]

🤷

#art #fanart #drawing #cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl narinder #idk im thinking of changing their designs (obvs narinder stays the same it's perfect) #like just the eyes so they dont look weird next to narinder #yeah thats right after i dished out all my jokes i think about changing their design im just that stupid #sketch

[blackcathjp]

draco constantly complains and makes fun of harry's hair. one day, harry snaps and gets a haircut. he comes home and draco just stares. slack jawed. shocked. speechless. harry snaps, "what? isn't this what you wanted?"

draco, with sad eyes, whispers, "love of my life, what did you do?" and bursts into tears.

draco is inconsolable. devastated. heartbroken. yes, he jokes about harry's messy hair, it is most definitely a rat's nest, but seeing him LIKE THIS... that is NOT his harry 😭

meanwhile, harry is still reeling from this revelation. "i'm the love of your life?"

draco pauses, realization setting in, his face turning redder. his voice wobbles out, "y-yes, isn't that obvious?"

harry softens, steps closer. "i love you too."

draco's heart skips. harry loves him back! but all of his teasing, mean-spirited jokes drove harry to cut his hair off and make such a drastic change. his heart aches thinking that he must have caused so much sadness and anger in harry, and oh no, the tears start again.

"oh, my love, i didn't mean it, i loved - love - your hair as it was. it's just so... YOU. and it's still you but it's also not and i'm sorry if i made you think you should change-"

harry kisses him, amused. "i was a little mad about that last joke you made, but i was due for a haircut anyway."

"still," draco sniffles. he pats harry's hair. it was much too short, he couldn't ruffle it anymore like he used to. he didn't realize until now how much he did that everyday. a gentle hand on the back of harry's head, softly petting his hair while he read. an unconscious habitual gesture that was comforting and domestic. he didn't realize how much he liked it until he couldn't do it anymore :(

over the next few days, draco feels bittersweet. he stares often at harry's head. he kisses his temple a lot, a bit as an apology, and mostly because he wants to. if he sheds a tear in private about the loss of harry's glorious hair, then that's his business.

a week later, after his quiet moping and harry worshipping (lots of kisses, lots of cuddling, lots of touching) his magic manifests a miracle (it was just tired of his dramatic melancholy and longing):

harry's head of full of hair, restored to perfection.

#draco mourns and bam his magic is like stfu here i granted ur wish #draco jokes as a defense mechanism for how much he truly feels #hating and teasing is his way of affection but it can come off too much #harry takes and dishes it too but sometimes it's ANNOYING #drarry #harry potter #draco malfoy #draco x harry #drarry blurb #drarry headcanons #writing

[sir-fluffbutts]

I'm sorry but why do you have such nice hands? Do u moisturize or are u just blessed like actually

nice try "anon" 🤨

#ask #all jokes aside i just use regular lotion before sleep and call it a day #got blassed with my mothers side on this so i can really say i use dish soap for skincare routine

[tin-can-iron-man]

I'm just gonna say it again real quick:

Yes!! Iron Man is a tragedy! It has and always has been since the very first appearance in 1963 which describes itself, Tony's life, and legacy, as such.

Tony causes most of his issues himself, he is his biggest villain, a majority of his rogues gallery are caricatures of the worst versions of himself brought to life (when they're not just being racist cuz...60s...). The worst thing about being Tony Stark is that he can't stop being Tony Stark (he tried!!) That is the point.

The majority of pain Tony goes through, is pain he inflicts on himself, whether intentionally or inadvertently. That is the point.

He is not A villain (at least. Not usually. There are...some rough moments and arcs that are. Not great. As there is with any character as old as he is). But he is his own main antagonist.

#I—just—*slams fists on floor*—I WANNA PUT HIM IN A PIETRI DISH AND VIOLENTLY SHAKE HIM #tony stark #iron man #616 tony stark #marvel #marvel comics #*screams cries throws up* IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HIS CHARACTER WAS ASSASSINATED IN 2005 IN A WAY THAT HASN'T BEEN RECOVERED FROM YET #***starts openly weeping*** if the next main IM series is bad it'll have been 20 years of this shit make it STOOOOOP #being his own antagonist! his actions and mental state and poor judgement calls reaonates with people!! #I'm wildly under qualified to talk about this stuff but #I feel like that's *why* people with mental health issues. self esteem issues. addiction issues. flock to him. #he is not a BAD person. he is a person. who makes mistakes. and devastates himself. and even leaves himself half dead sometimes. #who doubts himself. is simultaneously oversensitive and alarmingly oblivious. he is a mess. that is a fundamental requirement of being him #that. resonates with people. it's *relatable*. Tony Stark is a lightning rod of interest for people...like him. hurting. sad. desperate. #and he brings *enjoyment*. he brings jokes. comfort. #he brings hope #because if a guy like *that* can be *iron man*...maybe we'll all be ok too #it's solidarity but also it's a kick in the right direction. it's saying ''it's ok that this is how you feel. I'm right there with you.'' #''but you can't stay here forever. we always need to try'' #Iron Man is and always has been about the future. after all.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

I'm tired so y'all get angsty Nimona headcanons

So apparently since I’m a masochist I was thinking about how Nimona would react to the boys dying 

Specifically the order cause I feel like that would contribute to how they would react 

If Bal died first he would be crushed and kind of just shut down and close himself off

After a while he would start taking longer trips and meeting new people and the hurt would lessen year after year 

After a while they kind of notice that they left Ambrosius alone

They didn’t mean to it was never their intention to recede into themself 

But that’s what happened and when they rejoined his life he didn’t miss a beat 

He just acted like they never left and that hurt ten times worse 

Especially when she realized that Ambrosius never fully dealt with his death 

At least not in a proper way

Ambrosius passing soon after they reconnected was just another gut punch 

It was like she finally started to recover just to be thrown back down

And a small part of her just a teeny tiny part of her was bitter about it 

And she fucking hated it

If Ambrosius died first I think she would still be angry 

She wouldn’t shut down like Bal she would lash out 

She would act like his passing away was just another betrayal by someone she trusted 

And again it would take a very long time for her to stop viewing it as that

They would never lash out at Bal though

They saw the effects and noticed how deep the sadness ran so they would always hold their tongue around him

One day Nimona made an offhanded joke about how Bal’s eyes should be studied cause they should be able to get even bigger with age 

And Bal just starts laughing 

And he doesn’t stop

Even as he’s bent over sobbing there are still laughs sprinkled in

He asks Bal what was wrong and he says “oh nothing starlight” he keeps pestering him until he finally says 

“You know I don’t think I ever had a chance to miss him because I see him every day when I look at you” 

And they just sit on the couch and seemingly go through every stage of grief 24-hour period 

When Bal dies a couple of years later it’s still like a gut punch

And he wants more than anything to dig himself into a hole and never come back out 

But he doesn’t 

It takes a long time for him to start letting people in again

So I don’t know if the boys were living together or if they were still living in the dorms before the knighting ceremony 

But there in either situation there is something so utterly heartbreaking about the idea of Ambrosius having to rummage through the destruction of people barely knighted  

Desperately trying to pick out the undamaged bits of Bal and clinging to them

I can also just imagine him searching through his phone frantically looking for old photos videos and voicemails 

Trying to figure out if he was genuine or if he was talking with a mask for a decade 

He goes back and forth between knowing those are his genuine smiles and laughs and that’s really love in his eyes 

But then he also has moments when he remembers that he might not know what his real smile looks like or what his real laugh sounds like 

And how can he know what love looks like when he might have been faking it this whole time 

He stops looking through his phone for a while

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #these dorks make me so sad #happy but sad #I still believe in the whole rebirth headcanon #she sees them again #and again #sometimes it's not at the same time #which breaks their heart because they know the boys miss each other #but they see each other again #eventually #they make jokes about it too #very “you made me wait 100 years you dick so you're doing the dishes for the next 30”

[kcciny]

“I love Gawain”

Please tell me which version cause no way this is the same person

#as a former member of having Gawain as fav character of fgo I need to say I love his range #Camelot movie gave him major depression and anger issues #all jokes aside I just wanna make him a nice meal with mashed potatoes as side dish #he still has a special place in my heart after making Camelot hell for me <3 #fgo #fate grand order #fate #fate go #fgo stuff #fate series #Gawain

[bumblingbabooshka]

Headcanon that Seven of Nine and Naomi actually find Neelix’s cooking to be fine because it’s the only food they’ve ever eaten/their first introduction to food and when they get to Earth everyone’s so excited to show them Alpha quadrant foods but neither of them likes anything they’re offered very much. Seven doesn’t really care either way except that she has to get used to a whole new palette and Naomi likes the obvious (Ex: candy, cake) but frequently complains that nothing tastes ‘right’. Naomi: -pushing away a slice of pizza- I don’t like it... Tom: You’re kidding me. You don’t like pizza? Naomi: It doesn’t taste right! Make it how Neelix used to. Tom: You want me to put gerhalorian beets and yuk mushrooms in the sauce so it congeals into a lumpy, slightly sour mess? Is that what you want, Naomi? Naomi: Yeah :(  I want Naomi and Icheb to work tirelessly together on a side project for years until finally doing it - being able to communicate clearly with those in the Delta quadrant! Icheb uses it to speak to the other borg children (now adults) and Naomi immediately uses it to call Neelix and ask him to find the nearest time portal and toss a big box of leola root into it. She’s been craving it for years! No one told her the Alpha quadrant didn’t have leola root, she wouldn’t have gone otherwise!

#Naomi's suffering through the worst case of 'food you had ALL the time as a kid but can't get as an adult' #Her next goal is constructing some way for ships to pass through the quadrants quickly and safely so Neelix can come visit her and also #Voyager's crew can stop getting themselves hopelessly lost and presumed dead out there #Naomi's favorite joke is that if she knew the alpha quadrant had/didn't have X she wouldn't have come! Her mom doesn't love it v_v #st voyager #Naomi Wildman #Seven of Nine #Neelix #I also think every member of the crew has a certain food they really loved but can never eat again v_v either bc alpha quad doesn't have the #ingredients or the replication abilities or bc it was something that was given as a gift by a delta quad alien or Neelix was only able to #make it once etc #I believe Neelix's cooking is a mixed bag. Some of his dishes are earnestly not good and some of them are for a palette that #the crew doesn't have...but after seven years you develop a palette. Like they still PREFER alpha quadrant food but every so often they're #like DAMN...do you remember when Neelix made-? and it's always a happy conversation #OH and also he has limited ingredients bc of Voyager's situation and doesn't know what the human foods they ask for are or what they should #taste like so it's trial and error babey!!!

[yangjeongin]

20 minutes on delicate cycle. that’s the amount of time it takes to dry hyunjin in the washer and dryer

#hwang hyunjin #bystay #createskz #malegroupsnet #a9gifs #hyunjin #flashing tw #*gif #*ccarly #*hyunjin #*carly:hyunjin #i tried to write a normal caption i really did . but i couldn't resist making this joke #iykyk #i'm fr going to put him through the wash and tumble dry him #except he's gonna get blue on everything. so i'll have to just wash him by himself #i love u wet mop boy....looking more like toilet bowl cleaner than ever #colgate gel toothpaste looking ass (affectionate) #i love blue gatorade and blue raspberry airheads and blue highlighters and dawn dish soap <3 #ye si am fine everyone thakns for the concern

[myryathedreamer]

I feel like the internet needs to hear about judas buns.

If you have even a passing knowledge of the New Testament, then you know Judas was the guy who betrayed Jesus Christ for 30 silver and then hanged himself.

So the Czechs asked "Can we make a dish around this?" and didn't wait for an answer.

This soft sweet pastry is traditionally made for Easter Thursday (google tells me it's called Maundy Thursday in English) and usually takes a form of various knots and spirals to symbolize a rope. Some take this metaphor a step further, as shown by my mother, who hands covered in flour asked me "Do you know how to tie a noose?"

When we speak of fucked up Czech traditions, we usually think of whipping girls with willow sticks in exchange for eggs. But I believe baking rope-like buns in "honor" of a guy who hanged himself should be up there as well.

#this is intended as a joke #i absolutely love this dish #also i do not know how to tie a noose #at least not with dough #čumblr #czech #czech traditions #easter #easter traditions #tw suicide mention #christianity mention

[honeybeeffdrawshere]

He runs the kitchen in hq, which is about as stressful as you'd expect.

#spidersona #atsv #spiderman across the spiderverse #digital art #my art #oc #original character #csp #clip studio paint #character design #spider-gourmand #i do have a spidersona thats like an actual persona but ive redesigned them like 30 times n they still dont feel right #but gourmand? perfect man. #some Lore: #I imagine that a lot of tasks are automated but humans are still needed to supervise plan prep etc #defends the kitchen staff with his life whether theyre a volunteer or a regular #bc some spiders are assholes. other spiders are white boys who make the same jokes #about food they dont understand and it drives rene up a wall #he finds the multiverse very fascinating food-wise. for as much he complains about the job hes never turned #down a request from a spider for a dish specific to their home dimension #he believes strongly in the need to help yourself before you can help other people #which is why he gets absolutely pissed whenever spiders skip meals #what the fuck do you mean youll use your lunch break for another mission? who told you that? siddown.