#it's just got me thinking of what else i've lost in recent memory

[alligaytorrr-official]

unfortunately, i was already miserable to begin with today. though i suppose 'today' is redundant. haven't i always been?

#how silly to have such a spiral sparked by the possibility of a shitty social media website shutting down but #it's just got me thinking of what else i've lost in recent memory #thinking of what promise the future has seemed to hold for such relatively brief moments in this past year #rekindled friendships with people i loved and missed dearly. that ended in much the same way as before #the possibility of relationships on the horizon that brought me great happiness. they never materialized #multiple different prospects for moving out of florida. each of which becoming unviable in their own special ways #a promising job opportunity that i could genuinely look forward to and which could have drastically improved my quality of life #wasn't even given the dignity of a rejection letter #friends are moving away soon #i'm rotting. that's all i'm doing. every source of optimism i have had in this bleak world of today has rotted #but at least i learned i like archery! haha. at least there is one fucking good thing to come from this year. if only fucking one. #oh to look on the bright side...! #alli.txt

[zetsubo-bani]

Is Yana losing interest in Black butler?

This is something I've been seeing for the last couple of years. A lot of people, especially after the most recent chapter (210), are saying that yana has lost interest in black butler and that it is apparently evident. While no one knows for certain if she has actually lost interest in it, I would like present some of my thoughts as to why I don't think she has lost interest in it.

First of all though, why are people saying that she has lost interest?

It has to do with a the slow pacing of the story which has been a complaint for a long time now. The chapters typically don't have more than 20 pages nowadays and the most recent one had only 11 (9 if you don't count the chapter cover). It's frustratingly slow and always ends with another little cliffhanger.

Naturally a lot of people are fed up and lose motivation to continue reading it monthly since it feels like we're barely advancing with the story and because of this slow pace, people are saying that yana doesn't have any motivation to continue it further.

Now the reason why I think the pacing is so slow is because of twisted wonderland, the game she is in charge of. She is responsible for the main concept, scenarios, character designs and also creates most of the art in the game herself. That's a lot of work she has to do, especially if you consider that she's also working on black butler.

The number of pages a chapter have started dropping since the blue memory arc. From what I've seen, a lot of the pages back then started to have only 20 pages and the drop to the 10-20 pages seemed to have become a thing around the start of the blue revenge arc. And since then the number of pages is different depending on what happens in the chapter. We already had a 9 pages chapter back in 167 so it's not that she goes increasingly lower with the pages number.

The blue revenge arc started in 2019 and considering that's also the year that the game twisted wonderland got announced, I think we all can think of why the pages number started to drop.

So to me it doesn't look like that she's intentionally keeping the pace slow because she lost motivation, it's because she already has a lot of work to do with twisted.

I've seen someone say: "but why doesn't she go into hiatus if it is so much work? Wouldn't it be better if she put black butler in hiatus to work on twisted and then later return to finish it properly?"

Well she could certainly do that but you have to consider that twisted wonderland is a gacha game. Gacha games require continuous content even long after the main story ended. Events that can draw in the players to continue playing and pull for the characters or cards they like.

So if she were to put black butler in hiatus to focus on twisted, it would be a very long hiatus, one that she would probably not get out of unless she handed her job to someone else.

Now onto the chapters itself. While the pace is indeed very slow, one thing that I've noticed is that she puts more effort into the chapters art. And I don't mean the characters, they of course look great.

I'm talking about the backgrounds.

Back then, a lot of the pages had blank backgrounds with a certain few having a little background. Of course there were also a lot of pages with very beautiful and detailed backgrounds but I'm talking about the smaller ones.

While the newer chapters still have a lot of blank backgrounds, they do feature more panels with a background than the old ones did

There several panels in the new chapters where I would have bet that the yana could have put a blank background but she didn't.

So while the pacing is still slow, the chapters have a lot more detail art wise in my opinion. That alone says to me that she didn't lose interest in black butler.

There's probably more that I could talk about that I will later notice but I don't want to make this post too long.

Please remember, this is just my opinion.

I'm not trying to excuse the slow pace of the chapters by the way, I'm just as frustrated as everyone else. I'm just providing some of my thoughts as to why I don't think yana has lost interest in black butler

#black butler #kuroshitsuji

[doumadono]

EMERGENCY REQUEST

So I love your stuff and ofc take your time. Im really sorry to inconvenience you with this request but I'm just very stressed.

I recently moved into a new house with my family and we have been slowly moving things in for months. Apparently the landlord left the door unlocked after he came in to make some final repairs and someone broke in and stole some stuff. Nothing huge, some tools, a toaster oven, drill bits. We didn't think they stole anything else and my family didn't see a reason to make a report till I started looking for one of my boxes I moved previously and it was gone. It had all my cross country stuff in it and I know it's not important to anyone else but CC is my LIFE. I've been running for almost 5 years So all my medals, plaques, times, banners, numbers, memorabilia from courses are gone. And I don't know what anyone would want with any of it. None of it was worth any kind of money but all of it means so much to me emotionally. I SUCKED my first year and it took so much effort to EARN everything. I'm scared they are gonna start melting down my metals or try to pawn them. I know it sounds vain and maybe it is but I was so proud of everything I've accomplished in cross country. I had a mental break down for about 30 mins to an hour and idk what to do. CC helped motivate me to recover from my Annorexia and one of those metals I won right after I got out of the hospital. Im 4'10 (I am a senior in highschool) Im already at a disadvantage considering my legs are half the size of everyone else's. I had to work so hard to be where I am now and all my reward for my work it's just gone because someone was bored? Wanted to make some extra cash?

Do you think If/when you have time you could write MHA comforting someone who's going through this? Maybe Shoji or Amajiki? Or whoever you want and think would fit. Im sorry again I know it's vain to want all of it back but it just meant so much to me.

Shoji & Amajiki with a friend who lost their CC stuff

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Shoji

Shoji, noticing your distress, approaches quietly, acknowledging the pain without pressing for words.

With his calm demeanor, he approaches the friend, his extra limbs extending to offer a gentle, reassuring touch.

He speaks gently, "I heard what happened. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Take your time, but if you want to talk, I'm here."

Shoji respects your initial silence, patiently waiting for you to open up when you're ready.

He remarks, "Your achievements in cross country are a part of who you are. Losing them is like losing a piece of yourself, I bet but you still have the memories."

Shoji invites the friend to a quiet spot in the school, away from prying eyes, where they can share their feelings without judgment. "Sometimes, finding solace in silence can be more comforting than words."

Shoji suggests, "Let's work on a plan together. We'll search for your items and, if needed, involve our friends for more support. Even if the physical items are gone, your achievements and the strength you gained through cross country remain."

Amajiki

Amajiki cautiously approaches, "I heard about what happened. It's okay if you don't want to talk, but I'm here for you."

Amajiki silently sits with you, understanding that words may not be enough to express the depth of your pain.

He softly says, "Your achievements are not just medals. They're a reflection of your strength and resilience. No one can take that away."

Amajiki's gentle demeanor encourages the distressed friend to open up slowly, sharing the pain and memories associated with the lost stuff.

Amajiki softly suggests involving the authorities, realizing the emotional value of the stolen items. "I think it's important to let the authorities know. They might be able to help recover your belongings, and it's okay to ask for help."

Amajiki spends quiet moments with the distressed friend, acknowledging that sometimes, silent companionship speaks louder than words.

#emergency request #mezo shoji #shoji x reader #shoji mezo #mha fluff #mha headcanons #tamaki amajiki #amajiki tamaki x reader #amajiki x reader #amajiki tamaki #bnha fluff

[blue-rose-soul]

Ooo love the devil’s bastard au

In one of your precious posts you mentioned Charlie and Nicaise meeting in heaven and getting to bond. How do you think a meeting like that would go?

They wouldn't know who the other was at first. It's an act of fate (me) that brings them together. I've seen a few different people say that the winners in Heaven don't remember their lives on Earth, but I haven't heard this until recently, and even if Vivienne did say it, I'm hesitant to take Word of God as the absolute truth until it's actually shown in the show proper. Things change in the writing process, you know?

That said, I like the idea so I'm going with it.

As a winner, Nicaise also has some deer-like traits. Her heavenly outfit is all creams and golds, she's got soft doe ears and white speckles across her cheeks, shoulders and arms, as well as a pair of cream-colored wings. Even with the deer traits though, Charlie doesn't make the immediate connection. She's a dark-skinned Creole woman who speaks with a distinct accent from Alastor's, so there's a bit of a disconnect in Charlie's mind.

They probably run into one another while Emily is showing Charlie around, perhaps at the zoo. The winners haven't been informed that they're hosting a guest from Hell because the heavenborn angels don't want to cause a panic or anything, but it becomes clear within a few minutes of conversation that Charlie's different from everyone else in Heaven. How amazed she is by the simplest things. Her sheer awe at the koala. The smell of brimstone that clings to her.

Now, Nicaise knows there's something... off about Heaven. She's known it since she first arrived and she felt like something important had been stolen from her. She just can't put together what that something was. Over the decades, the heavenborn angels have tried to placate her, reassuring that there is nothing missing from her life and that Heaven has everything she'll ever want or need. She calls bullshit. But, realizing she's not going to get anywhere butting heads, she opts to go the more subtle route, seeking out like minded winners and bringing them together. Together, she and her allies have been trying to figure out what the heavenborn are keeping from them, what they lost, but they've hit a lot of walls. Sera is too difficult to approach, and not easy to trick, Emily is just as in the dark as they are, and Adam... Well, Nicaise knows how to deal with repulsive men. But Sera realized pretty quickly what Nicaise was doing and forbid Adam from speaking to her or her cohorts, so that line of investigation was cut short.

Needless to say, Nicaise is thrilled to meet people from outside of Heaven.

She probes Charlie for information and Charlie is plenty happy to talk to someone from Heaven who doesn't seem politely disgusted by her lineage. (Something about Charlie's description of her father strikes a chord in Nicaise. She can't quite solidify the thought.) Emily is surprisingly open to the topic of conversation as well; Sera's never told her any of these things!

Nicaise knows that she must have had a life and a family back on Earth, but it's not until Charlie starts talking about souls passing to Heaven or Hell that she really understands what this means. For just a moment, the veil lifts from her memories. And then they're gone again, like a dream. Charlie, on the other hand, is more than a little peeved that Heaven is actually preventing winners from remembering their own lives. Yes, some of the memories may be painful, but these are their lives! The souls have a right to them, regardless of how painful they were! It's her first hint that Heaven might not be as idyllic as it seems.

Unfortunately, Charlie's meeting with Heaven's higher ups means they don't have as much time together as they would like, nor will they have any way to contact one another once Charlie returns to Hell. But she's left a lasting impact on Nicaise and has an ally in her and Emily both. Emily tells Nicaise everything that happened in the meeting, including the revelation of the exterminations. Nicaise passes this on to her group, who pass it on to more people who pass it on to even more people.

Soon winners all over Heaven are questioning and Sera is panicking. Things get worse for her when Sir Pentious shows up in her office. If she's going to maintain order over Heaven, she needs to find the people responsible for spreading disorder, and get rid of them. Fast.

#ask #anonymous #Hazbin Hotel #the Devil's Bastard AU #Charlie Morningstar #Alastor's Mother #Hazbin Hotel OC #Nicaise (Hazbin Hotel OC) #Emily (Hazbin Hotel) #Sera (Hazbin Hotel) #sorry this took so long I kept rewriting stuff #I almost wrote this whole narrative about Nicaise starting a resistance movement in Heaven #before I realized how long-winded it was getting #the winners in Heaven do seem to have SOME idea of what's happening on Earth #since the Cherubs in Helluva Boss explicitly go to earth to aid people on their behalf #but I imagine they only get a filtered view of what happens #after all they wanted to give Lyle Lipton a blessing because of all the 'good' he did with his inventions #but seemed oblivious to the fact that he... y'know #experimented on poor people who were likely desperate and willing to do anything to get out of terrible situations #plus a friend of mine introduced me to Autodale and I'm enjoying the crap-saccharine dystopia theme

[redmelawashere]

Alright I got woken up at like 3 AM with FORBIDDEN MEMORIES™️ and remember that MelloNear literally had a fandom video game. What other fucking fandom has SHIPPING VIDEO GAMES.

I think it just hit me since recently I've been thinking a lot about how fandom spaces shift over time (especially as we have re-boots, live-actions, or other media that helps reinvigorate fandoms like currently with A:TLA) and honestly, MelloNear has had so many ups and downs and like…as someone who was in this fandom WAY too young and grew up with it I want to see how many people on tumblr, who were there in ye olden wild west days, remember the stuff I do and also for those of you who weren’t around back then but are big now, here’s the insane history that I remember:

1 - LiveJournal (LJ) and the LOST FICS LJ was initially one of the better places to find fics – but a lot of authors jumped ship when FF.NET started to take over and for other reasons that were before my time. Finding fics on LJ that haven’t been deleted was/is hard and their UI is trash I never could get a grasp on it. (The irony of FF.NET now being dead and people jumping ship to AO3 and Tumblr lol.) Astyzia_ii used to write really fucking good MelloNear stuff there. She was one of the first people I ever read that had insanely good Near characterization. Unfortunately, her account no longer exists. But some of the things she wrote were things like:

Near being a total brat (at the time, no one else was really writing Near like that. Including Near lying to Mello about being assaulted by other children at Whammy's, just generally putting him in his place, etc.)

Mello painting Near’s nails black (then this trope just went off on FF.NET and everyone was writing fics like that - I really like when stuff like this comes out of fandom)

Mello finding out that Near, despite being in love with him, thought Mello was so unapproachable he had sex with someone else (implied Giovanni) and Mello is basically confronting Near about it at a time when Near was treated as a prudish virgin in fandom

Finding each other in the apocalypse AU

Mello and Near being like high school sweethearts (salthearts?) and Mello wanting to go to a University in the BIG CITY but would ignore the offer if it meant staying with Near (and super tragic fic too. They pull over on a freeway after an argument about it and then Near just straight up gets hit by a car after pushing Mello out of the way 💀 and you don't know if Near survived)

And obviously, many more really creative AUs

2 - KurosakiAkane and VIDEO GAMES Akane, as Spanish artist and the original “cursed moons” drew some of the most viral and prolific MelloXNear doujinshis and EVEN MADE FANDOM VIDEO GAMES. Like I can’t believe I forgot about this. Akane literally made fandom yaoi video games and they were SO GOOD. What other fandom has shipping video games you’d think it’d be the norm I can barley wrap my head around it

Pretty sure her website (www.cursedmoons.com) is down so you can’t download them directly from there or see her full doujinshis anymore

Her DeviantArt account is still live so you can see some stills and teasers from her doujinshis.

Her LJ account is also still live but more so as an archive.

Her first game “D.nD Poisoned” can be downloaded here if you scroll to the bottom (but I haven’t checked the link so be wary…) but it was basically taking place during Whammy’s days, and yes, Mello has a knife cause he’s unhinged since those were just the times ig.

“D.nD Infection” was her second, unfinished game, which would have been when they were mid-Kira investigation post Mello blowing up the base. I found a website that hosts the short demo she released.

Her games literally inspired a new wave of AUs for the fandom in the fic department and she was just a titan who kept everyone together on all corners of the internet. When she decided to leave the fandom in like 2011 after 2010’s great FF.NET purge of M rated fics it kind of felt like the beginning of the end.  

3 - Doujinshis (fandom comics) Most doujinshi artists had their own websites and MANY were Japanese / Chinese translated into English (pretty sure Akane was the first one to create them exclusively in English...). There are so many archived on YouTube that I used to watch all the time. You can even still find some of Akane’s doujinshi’s on Youtube like:

January

Lost Innocence

The Last Birthday

Game Over

Chocolate Kiss

One of the ones that was most impactful on me was this one that I cannot remember the name of, and it wasn't by Akane, but basically Mello, freshly 16 trying to stay alive, resorts to prostitution, and the big revealer at the end is he’s just kind of left there, alone, opens up his hand and there’s a little white puzzle piece he stole from Near and pretty sure the last line was something along the lines of “no one else” and I just 😭

4 - Lost Art and the Famous Water Colours

A lot of that water-colour MN art you see floating around was from, if I'm not mistaken, a Chinese MelloNear artist and their website I think was just "w" or something and she had created 100s of MN art.

5 - ForbiddenSoul562 and FF.NET Beef and Fan Fic Rap Battles

Soul was one of the BIGGEST creators on FF.NET (and luckily, she’s still active both on FF.Net and here on tumblr!) I remember when she had like a fic battle with another creator FragilePuzzle (who is also on tumblr and active – but they post M-ll-M-tt stuff now and pretty sure they deleted all their MelloNear fics... Their active handle on tumblr is mizzmellos I think? Anyways, they’ve also switched from writing to art and its really good!) And there was like a whole “vote who you think wrote the better fic” and it was like Clash of the Titans. Shame that Fragile, as they used to go by, doesn’t like MN anymore since they also wrote a lot of really good stuff. When Fragile stopped posting and Soul went on an extended hiatus that also felt like another beginning of the end loooooool (pretty sure Soul and Mzz had an interaction here on tumblr reminding each other of each other and I had so much social anxiety I was like headbanging watching this interaction go down and if I'm remembering correctly it started cordial but didn't really end well but I could be 100% misremembering the tone of the interaction but if you dig through Soul's tumblr you can probably find it or mzzs for that matter.) 6 - Kids Writing Dark Tropes

I feel like I should make another post and just…describe how Mello and Near were portrayed individually and in a relationship during that time since it was honestly insane. Very toxic, very star-crossed lovers who revolve around each other but are devastating together and are healthier a part, and so much more. I’m much happier with where their characterization and how the fandom has evolved currently from those times lol. But I think over the years I’ve also realized how fucking young all of us were (I was literally like…13 consuming all this media which retroactively, I’m like YIKES 18+ is 18+ for a reason and I even realized some of my favourite authors / creators who I thought were way older than me or like “cool teenagers” were also close to my age and not that much older so no wonder we were all writing crazy unstable relationship shit like that - which can be fun! - but this was literally all. the. time.).

Honestly that’s all I can remember for now but what a wild ride. I know FF.NET is like, a super hard platform to use now (and just gets worse every day 🙃) but if anyone wants some MN fic recs from the vault lmk and I’ll make a post about it.

-Redmela

#redmela screams #redmela rants #death note #mn #mellonear #meronia #cursed moons #like shit I wish Akane could have at least finished Infection I can't even begin to grasp the talent of writing/scripting/drawing/codding #ALL BY YOURSELF #FOR FREE #FOR THE FANDOM AND THE PEPOLE #mEANWHILE I have like 50 WIPs for multiple fandoms byeeeeeee #Mello | Mihael Keehl #Near | Nate River #D.nD Poisoned #D.nD Infection #Fandom video games #fandom culture #fandom history

[pardi-real]

Honeymoon Knight / Chapter 3 - The Ideal Honeymoon

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~ A little while later ~

And then, while sharing memories, we went sightseeing in the city of Velis.

Muu: "Nevertheless... even though it's not summer yet, there are a lot of people in the city."

Lucas: "In June, Velis is not as scorching as midsummer, so it's comfortable. And it's popular as a honeymoon destination.”

> "Oh~ really?"

Muu: "Certainly, now that you mention it... there seem to be many close-knit couples."

Lamli: "Everyone must be on their honeymoon."

Nac: "Everyone seems very happy. I hope they have a great honeymoon."

Muu: "Honeymoon, huh..."

Lamli: "Hm? What's the matter, Buu? You seem lost in thought."

Muu: "Honeymoon… What do people do on their honeymoons?"

Nac: "Right, Muu didn't even know what a honeymoon was."

Muu: "Ah! I came up with a good idea!  I want to ask everyone what kind of honeymoon they would like!"

> “Th-that’s so sudden” > "It feels like we had a similar conversation last year..."

Muu: "Last year, I had fun hearing everyone's views on marriage!  So, I'm really curious about where everyone would like to travel!"

Lamli: "Buu, you… you sometimes say pretty amazing things."

Nac: "I see…  my own honeymoon… To be honest, I've never even imagined it."

> “But, I guess I'm interested to know” > "I'm curious about your ideal honeymoon..."

Nac: "Oh well? Is that so…! Fortunately, this Nac... is good at fantasizing.  I'll think of the best honeymoon!"

Lamli: "I'll think about it too! My lord!"

> "Thank you, Lamli"

Lucas: "Fufu... sounds fun, doesn't it? ♪ But still… It's a bit difficult to decide on a travel destination right away… So, how about we go with this theme, ‘If you were to go on a honeymoon in Velis, how would you do it?’ "

> “Sounds interesting!” > "That makes sense, sure"

Nac: "I see… An ideal honeymoon in a beautiful resort place, huh…"

Lamli: "Nothing less from you, Master Lucas! I'm already having fun just by thinking about it!"

Muu: "Fufu, It sounds like we'll hear interesting stories!  Well then, as the first one… may we hear from Mr. Lucas?"

Lucas: "Oh? From me?"

> "Lucas, tell us your story"

Lucas: "Alright. Let's see… If I were to come on a honeymoon to Velis… I would like to spend a leisurely time gazing at the stars with my partner. 

The starry sky visible from here is more beautiful than anything else, but if you visit it with someone precious, and after tying the knot with them... It would feel even more beautiful.

Underneath a sky full of stars… Next to the person you love the most… It'll truly feel like a honeymoon–a very enjoyable moment, don't you think so too, my lord?"

> "Certainly, it sounds wonderful"

Lucas: "And there… I would like to have a simple talk while drinking wine. Things that made me happy recently... stories of past failures... I want to talk about trivial things…

Leisurely, talking about whatever… I want to have an indulgent time.

Because I can do that with someone I trust.  Well, so, my ideal honeymoon is something like this."

> "It was very nice"

Lucas: "Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it, my lord.  Well then, next... let's hear from Lamli."

Lamli: "Huh? Me?"

> "Tell us, Lamli"

Lamli: "Yes, of course! Let's see… If I were to come on a honeymoon to Velis… I would like to play in the sea with my partner!

I'm not good with sunlight, so playing for a long time might be difficult… But... I want to see many beautiful things together, like beautiful fish and coral!

And, I can see the face of my beloved person clearly under the sun…But, when it gets dark… As you would expect, I want to talk about various things with them while gazing at the starry sky.

Things like our future together... I want my partner to talk honestly about how they want to live. I want to help make my partner's dream come true...

Oops…! Sorry! The chat kinda got off track from the whole honeymoon thing."

> "I think it's wonderful, Lamli"

Lamli: "Ehehe. Thank you very much! If I could go on such a wonderful trip with my lord… I would be so happy…"

> "With me?"

Lamli: "N-nothing!"

Muu: "Alright, finally… Mr. Nac, please go ahead!"

Nac: “My ideal honeymoon in Velis... Well, I'm not into crowded places... I'd love to stroll by the sea in the morning with my partner.  Just the two of us on a quiet, deserted beach. And, with the beautiful sea as the background, I want to engrave the image of my beloved person into my eyes."

> "That sounds wonderful."

Nac: "Thank you very much.  And… In the dim light before sunrise… The scars on my body won't stand out, even if I'm lightly dressed."

> "That's..." > “I see…”

Nac: “It's a bit embarrassing when my scars are clearly visible in bright light…”

> “Isn't it okay not to worry too much?”

Nac: “M-my Lord?”

> “Personally I don't mind, at least”

Nac: “Th-thank you. Fufu... Is that so? In that case... Let's definitely walk under the bright sunshine together, my lord!”

Lamli: “Hey Nac... When did it turn into something like a honeymoon trip with the lord?”

Nac: “Oops...! I apologize for that.”

Lucas: “Fufu... It was wonderful, Nac. Even though this honeymoon is all just a fantasy... I'm sure your partner will be someone who accepts everything about you, Nac.”

Nac: “Mr. Lucas…”

Lamli: “You don't need to worry so much about your scars, you know? Whether you have them or not, Nac being annoying won't change.”

Nac: “Even Lamli... ...Lamli.  ...Just for now, let me say thank you.”

Lamli: “Huh... You're being so honest, it kinda creeps me out…”

Nac: “Ugh... I was expressing gratitude, why is that how you interpreted it...!”

Lucas: “Now, now, you two…”

Muu: “Hmm… In the end, it turned into a fight, huh…?”

> “Yeah, seems like it”

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#aknk #honeymoon knight

[duquesah]

I've started re-watching the Venom movies recently

It got me thinking about Kayn and Rhaast's relationship in canon, and how for some odd reason Kayn is the only darkin host that wasn't corrupted immediately upon holding the weapon for the first time, and is still fighting against the corruption. Is it true that Kayn is just THAT powerful and Rhaast is the current weakest darkin? Or perhaps there's more to them than we realize?

What I think might be the case is a combination of factors mentioned previously and something else, which I'll talk about in this post so pls stay with me 🙏

Okok so, in Venom (2018) we see how Venom and Eddie meet, how at first they're really just parasite and host, but then after seeing how much they're alike Venom gives everything up. Venom was a nobody amongst the others, just like Eddie, who has lost everything previously. They achieved symbiosis because they are the same, pretty much, and they are so goddamn special that not even Riot (ha) could take them down (with some help of course, love my girl Anne).

THAT got me thinking about Hwei's voice line, the one in which he says "If you just allowed yourselves to BLEND". It's a very interesting line, we can think about some possibilities but first we discuss exactly why Kayn hasn't been corrupted yet (I know I'm rambling a bit, sorry lol)

So, it could be that he really is that powerful, he has been training since childhood (he had a pretty rough one, too). At some point Zed took him in and Kayn became a powerful weapon/tool (parallels!! Kayn being used as a weapon and Rhaast being one, literally) and with his tragic backstory and some other voice lines (this time from Swain, I believe) we know that Kayn, after all he's been through, mistakes hatred for affection, since all he knows is negative, bad things.

So Kayn is traumatized, who isn't? Well, I know for sure the darkin have a very sad past too so let's talk about them (and Rhaast, of course) next

The darkin, once ascended, fought against The Void and each other for some time. The things they've seen and been through cost them their minds, with the years they became less of who they once were, some corrupted beyond redemption and the only way to stop this war was with imprisonment, so that's what happened. Many died, with the remaining ones being sealed away in weapons. Inside their prison they cannot breathe (that's why they sound very out of breath, I was happier before knowing about that) or scream, or do anything really, it's another void, much like the first they fought.

So imagine, after years of being trapped inside a tiny space, some guy finds you and, unlike the others, there's a barrier blocking your way inside their mind. This one is different, that's for sure, but Rhaast is a darkin, he will break this host one day...

But this day seems further and further away, the barrier still strong. Could it be that Rhaast is weaker than the others, or perhaps their tactic of corrupting minds away just doesn't work on Kayn? Well, like I previously talked about, both Kayn and Rhaast have a tragic backstory. my guess is that Rhaast and the other darkin use negative emotions/memories in order to break the host's mind, the pain unbearable to them. But Kayn? Negative emotions/memories is ALL he has, all he ever had, so this method couldn't possibly be the most effective to use, right?

Kayn is stronger than most, sure, but he wasn't immediately corrupted because he is barely affected by Rhaaat's tactics, which consist of breaking the mind with bad memories and emotions, which unfortunately for him is all Kayn knows. It DOES affect him a bit, for all we know, but we can't exactly expect him to be 100% immune, he's still human 🤷‍♀️

We don't know how things are going for them currently, if anyone's winning yet. I actually don't think that's ever happening, because 1. They would break the fucking champion; 2. Is it truly a win if they're just gonna miss each other's company after? (Rhaast presumably doesn't care but that can change, I mean just look at Varus). They would be more powerful, sure, but they only have each other, and with time I think they can be stronger together, they can find a way to get what they both want AND stay together.

ANYWAY what do y'all think? I know I started talking about Venom and Eddie and ended up somewhere else entirely but I just needed to ramble about them, get some ideas in order. Also correct me if I said anything wrong lore-wise, been awhile since I've read about them

#rhaayn #this is a long post #lmao my bad #shieda kayn #rhaast #league of legends

[shinysamurott9]

How I nuked my 400 Hour Save of Pokemon Heartgold

So, recently I've been playing through the Pokemon Generations doing a Ribbon Master Quest, obtaining every Ribbon a single or set of Pokemon can possibly obtain by sending them up through the series. Just yesterday I was on the tail end of finishing the Gen 4 segment of the challenge.

I have a team of 5 Ribbon Masters currently; Mushi, my Shiny Heracross from Pokemon Colosseum which I hunted specifically for this Ribbon Master Quest, Velos and Seibzehn, a Latios and Metagross I raised to use in Emerald's Battle Frontier, Sparda, my Shiny Arceus I hunted using the void glitch in Pearl and Nero, my Shiny Giratina from Sinjoh Ruins. The only ribbons left for them to get was the Legend Ribbon for beating Red and most pertinent to this story, the World Ability Ribbon.

For those unaware, the World Ability Ribbon is obtained by reaching Rank 5 or higher in the Wifi Room in Gen 4's Battle Tower. Despite what you may think, this is still obtainable thanks to fan made servers which restore old wifi functionalities in Generations 4 & 5. The thing is though the Wifi room is bullshit. The opponents you fight are recorded teams from other players and unfortunately, on top of the highly optimised teams you’ll encounter, you'll also encounter many teams of blatantly hacked stuff like Machamps with OHKO Moves or Sturdy Shedinjas.

This is where I mention the fact that I just so happen to have a modded 3ds, which, among other things, let's me backup save data. So since the game was blatantly cheating anyway, I decided "Fuck it, I'm cheating too". How I did this was to fight one battle in the Wifi Room, and after winning, I'd use the rest option to save and exit the game. Then I'd backup that save file, so if I lost the next battle, I could restore that backup and try again, letting me continue my streak. A slow process but it would mean eventually, I would be able to climb the ranks high enough to get the World Ability Ribbon.

As you can imagine though, I was doing this process of reloading and backing up a lot, and at one point I restored a file incorrectly, taking out the game too early, causing the file to go blank. No problem I'll just restore the file again and if I was competent, that's wherethis would have ended. But, because of how much I was using Checkpoint, my muscle memory got a lite crosswired, so instead of restoring my file, I made a new backup over it, effectively erasing the entire thing.

For reference this included:

400 hrs of Gameplay, A Pokedex roughly 2/3rds complete, A fully developed Safari Zone, Several Pokemon from my various Gen 4 Playthroughs over the years, Every Arceus Plate, (Which are actually pretty difficult to get in HGSS), All 5 of my Ribbon Masters

And perhaps worst of all, my entire collection of Gen 4 shinies. This included:

My near back to back Shiny Luxio and Luxray from Platinum,

A shiny Darkrai and Shaymin I hunted with the Void Glitch

Several Radar and Safari Week Shinies

And a shiny of each Sinjoh Dragon.

Needless to say I was both pissed and devestated. There was some consolation, since I had backups of Gen 3 and Platinum, my Ribbon Masters and Battle Tower mons were safe. Everything else though, initially I was resigned to either losing them forever or trying very likely in vain to recreate as much as I could in PKHex which has it's own issues both logistically and ensuring they were legal, not helped at all by how bad the legality checker in PKHex actually is.

BUT

There was, one, just one saving grace. Fucking POKEMON BATTLE REVOLUTION

The way that Battle Revolution works is that you connect a Gen 4 Save File and it will make an exact copy of your boxes so you can use them in BR's various Colosseums. And of course I just so happened to have copied my boxes from HG a few months ago just after Safari Week meaning every pokemon I had nuked still existed! I had to hack my Wii U to dump the save file but because of that I was able to completely restore almost every single pokemon by copy pasting them back onto Heartgold.

Obviously still lost a lot in other areas but I really can't complain considering what I managed to restore.

As a sidenote, there was a similar incident way back where I accidentally erased my friend's Ruby Master File no shinieswere lost just a lot of progress. I think his reaction speaks for itself.

#Fuck up of cosmic proportions #Pokemon #pokemon heartgold #pokemon battle revolution #Pokemon gen four #ribbon master #This will hopefully never happen again

[flowerslut]

shamefully despite how easily i am influenced i have not made my way through your ao3 catalogue. where would be a good starting point? (licking kink not required but always appreciated)

wow thanks for giving me an excuse to make a compilation of my (shorter) twilight fics that I want more people to read!!!!! ok ok so all my best favorite ones (minus call of the night. we are pretending call of the night does not exist, okay? dont think about it. dont even look at it) are my mid-length ones. now, first and foremost: I am an angst writer, and boy do I love to whump on alice and jasper, so in no particular order, you should read these fun little jalice fics while you wait for me to update roots over the next few weeks/months

North Star

rated: M words: 20,336 chapters: one-shot summary: "He’s the Eye of the South. The god of war. Master of battle and oracle of death. He’s not just the most dangerous weapon the world has ever seen, but he’s a man in love. And combining those two just makes this so much worse. Jasper sees a girl in his head, and he's afraid of what comes next."

thoughts: okay i lied, they are in a particular order. or at least this one is. this is my favorite twilight fic I've written (I think) and I got dramatic as fuck with it. written for jalice week back in 2021, the prompt was "power/ability swap" and you get exactly that: jasper is the psychic, alice is the empath, everything else is the same... or is it? this is also notably the first fic I ever sent to someone (g, obviously) to look over/give corrections to, so that might be why it has fewer stupid grammatical/sentence structure issues than most of my other stuff (minus roots). content warning for physical abuse, implied sexual assault, and mild sexual content. (also on ff.net)

The Almost Quiet

rated: T words: 10,365 chapters: one-shot summary: "He wants to blame loneliness, but maybe this is what was meant for him all along. A long road that leads to a depressing end. Longing after a girl he doesn’t know whose mind is lost."

thoughts: the last line of this fic is my personal favorite one I've written in recently memory! anyways this is an all-human AU, (sort of). in 1920, alice and jasper meet as humans and jasper's job gets much harder after that. this one is far from the best on this list, but it's entertaining, angsty, and has a satisfying ending imo. content warning for forced institutionalization and ableist language. (also on ff.net)

Déjà-rêvé

rated: T words: 6,551 chapters: one-shot summary: "It's nothing Alice had ever seen. It was no vision, no dream. It was only a possibility that had haunted the back of her mind like a nightmare for as long as she'd known what was out there for her to fear. Jasper had never known about this fear until it became their reality."

thoughts: this is the shortest one on this list, and since you like roots, you'll probably like this. its vaguely similar in that it's a whumpy post-breaking dawn AU, but this is only a snippet of an aftermath in which alice loses her power. wrote it for secret santa 2022 and had a BLAST with it. (if you want more whumpy one-shots my ao3 is chock full of whumptober prompts)

No Friend of Mine

rated: T words: 15,199 chapters: one-shot summary: "He contemplates telling Peter about Alice’s visits, but something holds him back from doing it. Perhaps because it doesn’t feel like Alice whenever she’s lying on his bedroom floor, curled in an old blanket that’s too small for him but perfectly sized for her, utterly still and silent even while awake. A part of him feels like it would be a betrayal to reveal this side of her to someone even as close to him as Peter is. After all, Peter is his friend. And Alice is… well, not."

thoughts: I think this fic is severely underrated, but maybe that's because I literally came up with the concept and wrote it over the course of a day and a half or something insane like that, and I think that for a hastily written secret santa gift from 2020, it holds up sooo well. it's an all-human AU where alice is the weird new girl, and like always, jasper is in way over his head. all the cullens get a role, it has the 'fluffiest' moments, and its faaaantastic. content warning for child abuse.

The Hunted

rated: T words: 26,664 chapters: 11 summary: "It's not so wise if you try to run."

thoughts: this one is the most self-indulgent (with the most questionable characterization tbh) based on g's post from 2019 that says 'twilight, but when bella slips away from jasper and goes to the ballet studio to meet james, he isn’t there. he waited until everyone split up in the airport, and then went for alice instead. in the ensuing chaos, while everyone is freaking out, victoria grabs bella.' this is the only one on the list I might take a look at in the future to rewrite chunks of, but it's great fun your honor. ignore what anyone else tells you about the ending. but make sure to keep this short sequel/epilogue handy, for... reasons. (also on ff.net)

A Loyal Wife

rated: M words: 21,930 chapters: 5 summary: "Alice is only a Lady because she was forced to be one. She much rather preferred being untitled. Just a constant in this strange family of women. Girls both grown and not, betrothed to the man who protects and spoils them. Quickly the newborns realize that Alice is more weapon than wife, and that suits her just fine."

thoughts: last but certainly not least is my attempt at 'jalice enemies-to-lovers' that I wrote over the course of two days while on vacation. this story has everything: southern wars, a marriage cult, weird power dynamics, and [checks notes] trying to seduce your enemy mid-fight. this is another one of my favorites, and maybe the messiest (affectionate) as far as story content goes (of course, minus roots). content warnings for sexual assault/dubious consent.

#jalice #twilight fanfiction #alice cullen #jasper hale #no but seriously if you haven't read call of the night just hold off on it for now #the entire series is like half a million words rn but the beginning is SO POORLY DONE that i always wish I could make it like. #invisible to people on AO3 until I can fix it. that way I can CONTINUE the series #the fic/series as a whole is hashtag Good but you can just TELL the fist 20-50k was written by a high school kid. bc it was #thats on me for not editing well enough back in 2017/18

[theboyandthepeach]

… okay, clearly everyone else here is just making you more upset. Let me try. Sorry if I offend you at all during this, it’s not my intention. I really do just want to talk. 

Hi, Kieran! You can call me Dusk. 

Listen… I have a few questions. You said you only remember little bits and pieces from before Dokutaro, yeah? 

Don’t you find that concerning..? Like, at all? I know that it’s probably due to whatever deal you made with him, but… don’t you ever wonder what you’re forgetting, who ELSE you’re forgetting? What about your whole life before him? The good AND the bad? The people and Pokémon who cared about you? 

I mean… you even forgot your sister during this. Sure, she was mean, overly controlling, and a fair bit bossy… but she cares. She’s worried about you. I mean, I have sisters myself. Do they annoy me, anger me, and get on my nerves sometimes? Yeah, all the time. Would we all still fight someone to defend the others’ honors? Absolutely, NO hesitation. Something tells me that Carmine would do the same for you, she just… doesn’t know how to not go overboard.  

And… I hate to say it, but if you had LOST memories from making the deal with Dokutaro, then isn’t it entirely possible he could be MANIPULATING what remains of those memories? Making you believe things that aren’t true? 

I’m not accusing Dokutaro of lying, don’t get me wrong. I’m just saying that… he may not be telling you everything. Now, I know what you might say to that. 

“But… he’s my friend! He’s helped me to get stronger! He wouldn’t lie to me, would he?” 

Hate to say it, friends lie to friends as well. They tell them what they want to hear. So I want you to think about it, think HARD. Hasn’t this whole situation seemed… weird? I mean, have you even seen yourself recently? You’re… barely even human now.  

Sure, it’s in the pursuit of strength, but is strength REALLY worth losing who you are fundamentally as a person? You don’t need to become someone completely different, just because you want to get stronger. You just need to learn how to balance the growth with who you KNOW you are.  

Some deals are just too good to be true, after all. And does it really matter how strong you are, if you lost everything you had in order to get that way..? 

On that point of balancing growth with who you know you are, if you’re not sure of who you are yourself… maybe we can help you figure that out! You don’t need to go through this alone, Kieran. 

Again, I’m sorry if any of this offended you, angered you, or made you upset in any way. I just genuinely wanted to talk to you about this. You don’t need to make a choice about it right now, but… just think about what I said here, please? 

-With respect, Dusk (and her Shiny Hisuian Zoroark, Thanatos). 

P.S. (from Thanatos the Shiny Hisuian Zoroark) 

We all just want to help you, Kieran. We’re all worried. It’s up to you whether or not you’ll believe us, though. I may not know you well, but as a ghost myself, I know full well… There’s always consequences for your actions, and they can poison your future ones, chain you down, and turn things… toxic. Thanatos out. 

//ooc MAY I JUST SAY I LOVE THIS AU?? I SPENT LITERALLY 7-ISH HOURS COMING UP WITH THIS MESSAGE TO KIERAN BC I JUST WANTED TO TALK WITH HIM ONE SINGLE TIME. GOD. I’M SO WORRIED FOR HIM BUT I KEEP COMING BACK JUST TO SEE THE ANGST. Sorry for the big wall of text btw, I know it’s probably gonna make things difficult for you--  

"I... I never really thought about it. I mean yeah, I want to get stronger... but recently I've been wondering if it's all worth it. And even if Dokutaro got rid of some memories, the memories still come back, despite his efforts."

"Don't tell Dokutaro this, I know he'll get mad, but I've been thinking, and i.... I want to go back, before I made that deal."

"I want to see my sis again."

//ALSO IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY AU!!! You can keep talking to him btw, he doesn't bite (well maybe he does now XD)

#toxic consequences au #irl pkmn #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #irl pokemon #rotomblr #rotumblr #kieran pokemon #pokemon kieran #rival kieran #trainer kieran

[altraviolet]

hihihi, this isn't a question but

I saw someone else show a song that reminded me of echo garden so I was like "omg waitttt I know some songs I'm INLOVE with that remind me of soundrod"

so like 2 songs that remind me of rodimus/Soundwave are

"once more to see you" by mitski

LIKE THAT SONG REMINDS ME SM OF THEM HH😭

ESP THE "but with everybody waaaaatching ussss, our eeeeevery moveee we doo have reputationsss, we keep it secretttt, won't let them haveee ittt" LYRICS AUGHH bc like it kinda reminds me of them now being inlove with eachother and wanting to be together and stuff but rodimus is a whole entire captain of a huge crew and Soundwave is already sorta popular on the ship bc of his recent acts and the graffiti and esp the mission or wtv to get skywarp and rodimus being put in the medbay and allat

AND THAT ALSO KINDA GOES WITH THE LYRICS "then I wouldn't have to scream your name, atop of every roof in the city of my heart"

likeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrghhhu it also slightly reminds me of just like having sossosos much love for one another and just not being able to express it properly and just say everything you love about them so you KEEP IT INSIDEEE IN YOUR HEART (if that makes sense bc it could go in the way of them as I said not being able to be open abt their interest in eachother bc yknow people and drama blah blah blah but it could ALSOO be like entirely from soundwaves perspective bc he doesn't really have relationship experience and yeaaa)

and one more for this song I also really like the lyric "so come inside and be with me, alone with me" since it reminds me of a small detail of rodimus entering soundwaves hab suite often JUST so they can be together "be with me" and alone together bc of yesyes "alone with me"

AND FOR THE SECOND SONG IS "door" by mitski

(I really like mitski 😇)

THAT SONG MAKES ME START BACKFLIPPING ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

it reminds me so much (and makes me so sad wawawawa) of rodimus and his silly little door between him and soundwaves room (which used to be drifts room💔)

THE STUPID SAD LITTLE "sometimes I get closer to it, but I've never found it, at twilight, I almost had it, but then the night fellll I looked out at the dark and wondered, how could I have lost it" LYRIC MAKES ME THINK OF rodimus being hesitant opening the door and almost even depressed around it because it reminds him of drift during the grey years and how he "lost" him but NOWWW soundwaves there so it's just one big struggle that sometimes he even forgets the door is even there bc he just wants to see his sweet little smookie pookie dookie so it just kinda disapears in his mind (DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN 😭)

and the "then one night at the park I saw it with my cheek in the dirt, I couldn't move underneath the dark but, but atleast I finally found it, cried out a creak and opened, to show me what's beyond ittts, a hopeless, a violence, I named it love." LYRICS JUST AUGH they r so haunting to me

it reminds me of rodimus not wanting to open it because of him feeling guilty about liking the grey years when it was drifts worst times so it turns from good memories to bad and it makes him feel BADD so he just keeps it sealed but ever since the seal broke and he finally got himself to use that door he saw soundwave, the ex-decepticon (in echo garden ofc) who has a certain 'hunger' for rodimus ((like that one scene when *idk if I need to list this as a spoiler but I will 🔥* ⚠️SPOILER! -when soundwave was digging through rodimus's like spark area and spark chamber and stuff he had a 'hunger' to KNOW but it results in VIOLENCE-⚠️ )) and yeaa

so what was behind that door was a "violent" little soundwavey he named

love

like idk if I'm misinterpreting that song but if I intend to think of soundrod/echo garden for that song that's what automatically forms in my brain because of the silly willy door

OH AND ONE MORE this one wasn't supposed to be here from the start but

"goodbye my Danish sweetheart" by mitski

it just slightly reminds me of soundwave being like "ermm!1!1! I did something wrong that rodimus doesn't like I feel bad now yk what he should just hurt me I deserve it wawawa" but then going onto rodimus it's like "dangggg that's crazy bro he expected more from me he probably thinks bad about me now and will avoid me I'm sososarrywaaaaa" idk how to explain it properly 💔

BUT THOSE GO AMONG THE LINES OF "and I don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory I'm not the girl I ought to be but maybe when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me I'm not the way i am, and i dont mean to make your heart blue" and yadayadayada

like soundwave being sad and embarrassed and guilty because he made rodimus feel weird or sad or mad or disappointed and rodimus being sad when he made soundwave mad (I feel like that's a good way to describe it no 🤕)

AND NEITHER OF THEM MEAN TO MAKE EACHOTHERS HEARTS(sparks) BLUEEEEERRGGHGHTHREARAGHRAGRHAGRHAGH

I hit a Irish jig when echo garden gets updated like I physically and mentally cannot contain myself (I'm not joking I genuinely start tweeking) they make me just SOO UERRGH

echo garden is probably one of the BEST fics ever like idk another fic that went on for this long and has basically a whole entire FANBASE you write emotion so good and amazing and you even inspire me, a procrastinator, to finish my own works its just all so amazing I'm SERIOUS SERIOUS 🤧💝💝💝

also I apologize for the possible very long essay 🙏

have a day(or night) so amazing that its INEFFABLE❤️🧡💛💌💙💜🖤

hello hello! my headphones are currently dead but I will try to check out these songs later today :D

>"so come inside and be with me, alone with me" since it reminds me of a small detail of rodimus entering soundwaves hab suite often JUST so they can be together

yes, just seeing the lyrics written out, absolutely :D

>sometimes he even forgets the door is even there bc he just wants to see his sweet little smookie pookie dookie so it just kinda disapears in his mind (DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN 😭)

yes I see what you mean but also LOL "smookie pookie dookie"

>"and I don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory

ooh that's a powerful line for sure :u

>you write emotion so good and amazing and you even inspire me, a procrastinator, to finish my own works

aww thank you! I'm honored to help inspire you and I'm glad you're finishing your own works :D I once heard advice from an interview which said "Finish your projects." 1) it means you're actually finishing your projects, so you learn about the whole process etc etc, 2) you get the I FINISHED THE STORY! joy at the end.

I'm trying really hard with TEG. we're gonna get there!!! and you can, too!! 💪

>idk another fic that went on for this long and has basically a whole entire FANBASE

thank you!! hello readers, thanks for reading ❤️ I know of at least one long fic that had a strong fan base. I wasn't there at the time, but it was rec'd to me years after, and from the Afterword, I gather it had a huge following. I'll list it, and a couple other fics I know had strong positive fandom reactions:

🔞These Games We Play by peacewish

⚠️NOTE THE WARNINGS AND TAGS BEFORE READING. Archive warning is for Rape/Non Con and tags include slavery.⚠️

Years ago when I was thinking about writing TF fic, I asked a friend for an example of a well-done story, so I could get a sense of what was out there. TF is a daunting franchise to write for (or it felt that way at the time). Friend rec'd this. I read it (most of it, there was a party scene I skipped through), put my head on the desk, and thought, "I will never write something this good." I put off writing fic for a year because I thought I'd never be able to write something as complex and emotional. One of the chapters in this fic is the BEST writing I've ever seen in anything ever. It's not my favorite scene. It is the best scene. I won't say which one it is, because its power comes in part from being read properly in the story. But like. Holy shit, dude. So by my friend's rec, and things I've seen here and there, and the Afterword, I gather this fic had a huge audience at the time. I read it once and I will probably never read it again because of the aforementioned tags (it's too depressing for me), but I do occasionally go back and read That One Chapter to enjoy all its layers of meaning and amazingness. So if those warnings/tags don't put you off, and you don't mind depressing stories, you might like this one.

Side note: I PUT OFF WRITING FOR A YEAR BECAUSE I COMPARED MYSELF TO THIS FIC. If you like my writing and perhaps compare yourself to it, I get it, but don't let my work stop you from practicing and growing. Imagine how much better my writing could be if I hadn't lost a year going "weh." Don't lose time to comparing yourself to others!

And I Alone Have Escaped To Tell You by astolat

I learned this fic existed because I saw tumblr posts talking about it and a friend of mine drew a really pretty fan art for it. It def had a fanbase when it came out :D Astolat is a great writer (if you know, you know why). I have read this fic. It didn't grab me as much as it grabbed others, though another of her TF fics had some amazing and haunting worldbuilding and I still think about it sometimes.

ok ok this post is getting long but there's one more fic I'll rec:

🔞Working Through It by Trinary

Trinary is a great author. Actually, scrolling through their fic list to find this one, I see their stories have tons of hits. I highly rec you check them out :D anyway, I distinctly remember people talking about this particular fic when it came out. It's very much 🔞, it's pretty short but it packs in so much worldbuilding and characterization and weird/awesome 🔞 in a tiny space. I highly rec you follow Trinary on tumblr/twitter/everywhere/anywhere: they post rather infrequently but it's always really astute observations/commentary on stuff.

So yeah I suppose "I saw people talking about it" is an arbitrary guideline, but... yeah! These are some fics I know had a strong fan response in their day :)

Thank you for the very kind comment! It's very nice to see you so excited about TEG, and thinking about it while listening to music you like 😊 Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

#ask #anonymous #music #songs #fics #fics with fanbases #long post

[ackermanslov4r]

"No amount of freedom gets you clean."

summary : just insecure post war levi who seeks reassurance ( maybe slight manga spoilers ig ?)

Levi had never really paid attention to his injuries or scars ; they were a part of him , a part of his story. He'd never thought he could feel ashamed of something that only showed what he went trough, what he fought , what he lost. He'd never considered himself diminished because he bore scars ; but somehow, that was maybe because he'd never really gotten severely hurt , never getting to a point where, like Erwin, he could've lost an arm or worse.

He'd never paid attention to his scars during the war , perhaps because he knew they wouldn't be the last ones he got. But now , now that everything was finished , now that, for the first time of his life, he knew peace , Levi couldn't stop himself from realizing how hurt he was. He didn't only have scars on the inside, memories he could never erase ; but he also had scars on the outside , obvious marks of what haunted his soul.

However, he didn't think he would have been this disturbed by his scars if you hadn't been there , standing by his side,tending to his wounds,making him feel guilty of how much of a bother he'd become. Levi had always been the one caring for others , protecting them , putting everyone but himself as a priority ; and he didn't particularly enjoy how the tables had turned , how he was now the one needing someone else's help , especially yours when you had your own hurts to recover from. He knew you loved him, no matter what , knew that your love had never flattered or changed ; but he couldn't stop himself from thinking that you need someone else,someone better than him.

These thoughts , thoughts of how unworthy of you he was , how,for your own good, he should let you go but couldn't even think of doing it ; these thoughts kept him awake at night , haunting him almost as horribly as the war memories. Tonight was not an exception to this : sitting on your shared bed, his fingers tracing over the scar on his face , his eye fixed on you , Levi felt as tough he might get suffocated by his thoughts.

"Y/n ? " he called , half hoping you wouldn't hear him and stay asleep , his voice so low he wouldn't even had paid attention to it if the words hadn't been his.

Your sleeping form stirred,eyes blinking slowly as you turned your face to Levi's,brows furrowed ; it was most peculiar of him to awake you in the middle of the night , especially since he always made your sleep and well being a priority.

"Levi ? Is there something wrong ?" you asked him, propping yourself into one of your elbow to be at his level. Even in the dark, you could see how tormented his face looked , his eyes looking at everything except you, purposely avoiding your gaze that always made his resolution falter .

"I...I've been thinking about stuff recently. About us." He could feel you suddenly completely focused on him , the deep sleep you'd just been in already forgotten , his words enough to awake you completely. Levi knew he would regret his words, regret voicing his thoughts , but he knew sharing them with you was the only way to get rid of them.

" Y/n , you know that I..." The words locked into his throat and Levi gulped ; no matter how many years passed, expressing his feelings was still as difficult as it'd been on the first day. " You know how much I cherish you. More than anything. This is why I think I'd be better for you to..."

"Are you trying to break up with me in the middle of the night, Levi ?"

There was an hint of playfulness in your voice , and when Levi looked at you, he saw a small grin on your face . He didn't know if you thought this was a game or if you simply knew he could never willingly leave you , knew how his insides were currently screaming at him to stop speaking and simply kiss you to forget everything.

"I don't...I don't want to break up with you." He stumbled over the words "break up"; simply pronouncing them was enough to fill him with a dreadful feeling.

"It really sounds like you are. But go on, what do you think would be better for me ?"

Your voice was soft, still full of this kindness Levi had never fully understood. He sometimes thought you'd still use this tone even if he was yelling at you , and he didn't know how to feel about it.

"Look at me , Y/n . You deserve more than someone who's so... marked. You deserve to live your freedom without having to care about my health , you should be able to do whatever you want without being restrained by my state."

Silent rang in the room , and Levi thought nothing he'd ever faced could compare to the fear he felt currently as he waited for your answer, waited to see if he had pushed you away , if he had lost the only thing he'd ever truly cared about. After what felt like an eternity, you sighed, getting closer to Levi as you did and gently grabbing his hand.

" I don't care if you're marked , Levi. I am too, and it just shows what we survived , how hard we fought." You brought his hand to your lips and kissed the scars that were on it. " I feel insanely proud whenever I look at you , whenever I see the scars of these events that could've destroyed you , but that instead made you stronger and made you the man I love."

You words were punctured by the small kiss you placed on every single one of his scars , slowly mounting toward his face. Levi stared at you , almost in awe , feeling small jolts whenever your lips brushed his skin .

" I don't want to live my freedom with anyone else , because I fought to earn it only to be able to spend it with you. I would've fought in vain all these years if the rest of my life wasn't happening with you. You could be bedridden until the day you die , and I'd still stay with you, without any regrets , without wanting anyone or anything else because you're the only thing I need, Levi."

You finished by kissing the scar on his face , eyes closed,lingering a bit longer on this one. When you opened your eyes again and met Levi's gaze , you knew at once that you'd won , your words vanishing all his worries like a spell.

"Life really sucks, but I think I'd still bloody thank it for putting you into mine." he muttered as he leaned forward and kissed you , kissed you like a goodbye and a welcome,kissed you as if he might die if his lips parted from yours. In that moment , he didn't care about how he looked , didn't care about anything else other than you , you with him and in his arms ,the two of you more than enough for each other.

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #levi ackerman headcanons #levi headcanons #aot hcs #captain levi #levi aot #levi ackerman x you #anime #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman oneshot #levi imagine #levi ackerman x reader hc #levi hc #levixreader

[dreamin-gacha]

Xkour Skylines

Another part of Xkour. They look over the game. The guardians have a different aesthetic unique to each of them. Something is going on though. Ren is in an outfit with a gymnast like aesthetic with a cool jacket.

Frosty (4 Star/Water Unit)

-A performer with a circus like/ringmaster aesthetic. She's very enthusiastic but also a trickster.

-Her mini game consis of putting on a play with the little snow animals she has. Each level is 1 Act.

-The animals for some reason turn on Ren. Frost keeps apologizing.

-Ren is fine with it cause animals.

-“I’m ever so sorry my dear outsider, my little snow stars never would intentionally hurt anyone! They never have!”

-"It's fine, they're cute..."

-22

Inferno (4 Star/Fire Unit)

-A hyped up man but he seems upset for some reason but hides it. He has a kidcore with oversized clothes look.

-His mini game is a bunch of childhood playground games but they turn bad. (The floor is lava but the floor keeps breaking, hide and seek but with murder).

-He profusely apologizes and even cries at the end, Ellie calms his down.

-Ren pats him on the back, telling him it'll be alright.

-“I’m sorry! My games are suppose to be fun…not…not this…”

-“It’s okay, I’m having fun. Everything will be okay…”

-"No it won't. He's gone. I'll never see him again..."

-"Who?"

-21

Gwen (5 Star/Wind Unit)

-She's very strict and blunt. However she instantly notices Inferno is sad and tells him to go back to his home for the day.

-She has a Gardner like aesthetic. With oversized overalls (She’s also has some muscle on her.)

-Her mini game is gardening like game. But the plants keep trying to kill Ren.

-Gwen seems genuine when she doesnt understand what's wrong. Asking Ren if they want to continue.

-Ren says yes, and that they're cool with it.

-“My plants never really…attack anyone. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

-"Don't worry, I've played plants vs monsters.”

-"What?"

-23

Vale (4 Star/Dark Unit)

-Vale likes to fight and is very rude. Upon seeing Gwen she teases her, making Gwen roll her eyes and say "Ill see you at home."

-Cyberpunk like outfit with an outfit for movement.

-Her mini game is literally just Ren fighting her. But for some reason Vale is trying to kill them.

-Vale actually apologizes and states that she had no idea what got over her. She states that she's not suppose to kill anyone and that she would never do that in the first place.

-Ren seems generally stunned.

-“I…don’t normally try and kill my opponents…sorry…”

-"Yeah...okay...gotcha..."

-23

Kilios (5 Star/Light Unit)

-Kilios mentions that he was actually the first participate in Xkour many years ago but he went mad and had to have his memory whiped. However he recently remembered, making him get corrupted.

-He hates his creators. He's very upset by them. Hates how he was ruined and lost his "life" cause of it.

-Ellie tells Ren "You think this is a good time to tell him that he was created solely for Xkour."

-Kilios hears this and gets more upset.

-“Excuse me…”

-“Why would you tell me that Ell…”

- He says "She must be enjoying this...huh..." somewhere along the way.

-“Who is she???”

-His mini game is a race. Ren finds it Incredibly hard to keep up with him, as he keeps making obstacles. They get dangerous after that comment Ellie made. The only reason they don't fail is because they're a gymnast and an ex ballerina.

-When defeated, Kilios breaks down. He's upset with the fact that him and all his friends are at the will of creators and how his life and sainty were taken because of them. He decides that along with his friends, he'll do his best to go against them.

-The end of the chapter is Inferno running up to him, and hugging him. And then everyone else hugging him.

-Ellie pulls Kilios aside to ask him something. Ren doesn’t know what they talked about until much later.

-“How did she influence the over world?”

#gacha world #we know au #gw kilios #gw inferno #gw vale #gw Gwen #gw frost

[strawhatsoraya]

Yo ! How are you doing ? :)

As an ADHD girl, I was wondering if I could request headcanons for Corazon, law and Luffy with a female SO who has ADHD (inattentive type) ?

To help you with it (especially if you are not familiar with it) my symptoms are :

-forgetting and loosing things constantly

-being overwhelmed when there's is too much things happening (especially at work), like multiple people talking close to me ect, If someone talks to me and there's someone else speaking loudly or close to me I won't be able to filter anything that's being said to me and I'll lag haha

- when I'm sitting I'm either constantly moving (fidgeting, scratching my skin all the time, looking around...) Or I'll look super calm and absent, zoning out completely and working on autopilot and just daydream constantly or planning stuff in my head

- I often get distracted during conversations, I think about something else and I'll miss half of what they were talking about. I'm either going to bid my head and deal with the little infos I got or ask "what is happening? What did you say?" Even though I was there looking at my friends the whole time and when they don't respond and move on I feel isolated :( I have two people close to me that often asks me if I understood everything and I often say no and they repeat, it helps me (but I know it's annoying to do so I don't expect it)

-I will often not look in someone's eyes when they are talking to me but looking around or let my eyes get lost in the void. I'm listening (if the conversation is short) and responding but idk why I won't look at you

- I actually harm myself fidgeting when I walk and scratch my leg with my shoes (I can't help it) and it gives me scares and I bleed :( (I'll try fidget toys and see if I can get over this)

-im so bad with time I constantly am paranoid of being late so I'm always one or two hours early at meetings because if I'm not too early I'm late, there's no I'm between (when I'm with my friends they must tell me to chill and that we will be on time if I follow their rythm and it helps)

-im afraid I'm being too obnoxious and childish sometimes :( so I often apologizes when I'm happy, (but recently I've been told I shouldn't because it's funny and it's nice to have some positive) example when I'm outside with people : "OH this is so pretty!", "It's so beautiful!", "Look at that tree ! So beautiful!!!" Every 10 seconds, jumping around ect. BUT with people I don't feel comfortable with or not enough I undereact to hide how easily excited I am to the point people think I'm not interested

I hope this helped! Thanks 😊

Hey! I'm doing well for a Sunday lol. Thanks for sending in your request. As someone who struggles with ADHD I totally related to your symptoms lol. I constantly lose track of my belongings, and have the worst time management ever. I have like 100 alarms on my phone and somehow manage to snooze them all. It's a problem. I know. Anyway, I wrote a few drabbles for you for this cute little headcanon. I hope you enjoy!

Corazon

 eyes that (don’t) commit

He hadn’t noticed at first. It was a truth he’d be too ashamed to admit. He hadn’t noticed the way your eyes always flit from spot to spot–quick as a butterfly, your attention always split in between worlds. He hadn’t noticed the way you always responded a beat or two too slow, or the way you’d repeat his last words like a parrot–a cute one–as if that would help jog your memory; or perhaps you were stalling, trying to buy time.

He never really understood why; truthfully he didn’t see a reason for it.

You were you, and that was fine. You laughed at his jokes, and had once, very boldly, with your whole chest made fun of his laugh only to confess very quickly that you loved it too; loved how it made you laugh, and what more could Cora ask for?

Your laughter followed his own wherever it went. It didn't matter if your eyes didn’t. He knew your heart was with his.

Law

where focus goes energy flows

At first, it irritated him. You were unable to follow through for lengthy conversations. He’d be staring at a book, expecting you to understand his instructions. When he’d look up, you’d be staring blankly, a little smile on your lips. 

It was both infuriating, and endearing.

You always seemed embarrassed after, deeply apologetic. You’d say the word over and over and over, like it would ease his heart. A ‘sorry’ did nothing for him. The expression on your face, the pained look behind your eyes was infinitely more worrisome than any bit of conversation that you had missed.

How many before him had failed to understand you? How many had turned your heart away because they lacked a certain kind of tolerance? He couldn’t tolerate the mere idea of it.

The day it finally clicked, he found you in a corner of the Polar Tang, as if you were trying to remember where you were headed. He chuckled beside himself, and gathered you in his arms, squeezing you tightly.

“I really hate it when you say: huh,” he could hear your voice now, see you blinking. It made the corner of his mouth twitch. “But it’s okay. You can keep saying it as many times as you need.”

Luffy

what a plot twist you were

The Sunny could be so loud sometimes; in so  many ways. You could handle the chaos most of the time. You thrived in it, almost, the way there were always so many conversations going on at once. It did; however, become inconvenient when you were trying to pay attention to your boyfriend.

You were both sitting on the head of the Sunny, ocean vast and wide ahead of you. You knew you had been observing the rippling water, the way the waves became white and foamy as the ship sailed on. Then what had happened? You’re not sure.

It’s Luffy’s pinger poking your cheek that brings you back. You turn your head slowly to look at him, eyes wide, head empty. He smiles widely at you, a small wheezy laugh shaking his shoulders. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks brightly, eyes crinkling at the corners. You return his smile. This is what you loved about Luffy; this and many things. The easy way he made you feel like you belonged, right there next to him. No judgment. No pretenses. 

“I don’t have any. Do I still get a penny?” you ask him. Luffy’s chuckles become softer, a little mischievous. His eyes narrow slightly, as he wrinkles his nose.

“How about a kiss?” he says and he leans to capture your lips with his.

#fic request #one piece headcanons #one piece hcs #donquixote rocinante #corazon x reader #corazon x you #one piece corazon #law x y/n #law x reader #law x you #one piece law #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #luffy x you #one piece luffy #one piece fluff #luffy fluff #law fluff

[practically-an-x-man]

Prompt: "I don't know if we're going to come home from this."

Ooooh I know I've been writing a lot of Eris recently but this really does feel like them.

____ Lost Gods

Word Count: 2.1k Content Warnings: graphic depictions of violence and injuries, angst, whump

____

"I don't know if we're going to come home from this."

Those were the scariest words he'd heard in his life.

It wasn't as if it was the first time Rick had heard them. It came with his line of work: things looked grim, and usually there was someone just frightened enough to voice what everybody else was thinking.

Sometimes they got lucky. Sometimes they were wrong.

Other times they weren't.

So far, Rick had been one of the lucky ones - if he could even call it luck, when he had to live with the echoes of a hundred other deaths etched permanently into his memory. But he was lucky in the fact that he survived, he made it home.

So it wasn't the words themselves that scared him. He'd heard those same words a dozen times in his life, if not more.

But never from Eris.

They came limping up to him mid-battle, spear missing and their right arm hanging dead at their side. At first he assumed it was dislocated, with their look of pain and the way she gripped it tight with her opposite hand. But then his grip shifted, and Rick saw bone and loose-hanging sinew through his fingers.

"Holy shit, doll-" he started, slinging his gun back over his shoulder and surging ahead. Eris just shook his head, readjusting his grip so the gaping wound - almost completely severed at the shoulder, Rick realized - was hidden again from view.

"It'll start healing up soon," he said, though his voice was tight with pain and something all too much like hopelessness, "Keep fighting. Don't stop for me."

Not that Rick's gun had been making much of a difference anyway. He wasn't even entirely sure what it was they were fighting, only that it was very large and very angry and had incapacitated the rest of the Squad. He hadn't had so much as a moment to check whether they were unconscious or dead. He prayed the former.

Eris let out a low groan, the only warning he got before their knees crumpled under them. Rick darted ahead to catch them, finally noticing the rest of the blood coating their clothing. After so many years, so many injuries Eris just brushed aside, he'd largely learned to tune out the sight of blood on them. But now he took in the sheer volume of it all - too much blood, too many wounds, more than any ordinary person would survive.

Eris' enhanced regeneration had taken care of most of them, but Rick could see that their energy was spent from everything it took to heal them. Some of the wounds were still oozing blood, darkening his clothing even further. And then there was the matter of her arm, still hanging by a few scraps of muscle and yet to start recovering tissue.

"I'm spent, Rick." they muttered, dropping their head against his shoulder with a shuddering sigh, "I've- I've got nothing left. It's too much."

"Okay, just- just rest here for a minute," he said, fighting hard to keep his panic in check. It took a lot to knock Eris down in any meaningful way. Eris' "shrug it off" was most people's "three days in the ICU". To see Eris laid this low, not only injured but struggling to heal...

Well, Rick was surprised he'd lasted this long himself. To say the least.

He steered Eris off to the side, shielded by a pile of rubble left from the fight. He could see the tendons and muscle in their arm beginning to weave back together, form new connections, though it was a slow and clearly arduous process. It left him wondering how many wounds they'd shouldered through already, to have drained so much of their strength.

"I couldn't land a fucking hit." Eris muttered, wheezing like he couldn't quite catch his breath, "It's got some kind of armor. Worse than the bugs. I couldn't do anything."

Rick struggled for words for a long moment. He wasn't sure where to start. Eris would brush off any attempt at comfort or reassurance, he was sure - even if they were still openly leaning on him, letting him take her weight. And everything else... there was just so much.

"Did you see any of the others?" he tried, figuring that was safest. Eris shrugged with their good shoulder. The other was still slowly mending, muscle creeping outwards in a vaguely entrancing spiral.

"Croc's down. Saw him slip into the sewers. Injured. Either bled out down there or just ran away." Eris answered, eyes flicking back and forth as she retraced the battle in her mind, "Bison's dead. Merlyn's dead. Didn't see DuBois. Probably hiding somewhere. Too smart to get caught out in the open with that thing. Nanaue's still up- fuckin' invincible, probably still chewing on its pinky toe or something."

"Figures." Rick agreed, running a mental tally of his own. Not great odds. Especially with Eris down. They were the team's real heavy-hitter, often just as impervious as Nanaue but with a lot more intellect to back it up.

"Rick, I..." Eris mumbled, baring him a deep grimace. He was shocked at the sight of fear in their eyes. It was not an emotion they wore often. "I don't think we're making it out of this one."

"Hey, hey, no- we'll come up with something." he insisted, "We've been through worse."

"You didn't see it. Not like I did." she insisted with a brisk shake of her head, "It's... it's like a god. It's like nothing I've ever seen. I don't even know where it came from. Look at this-"

He twisted around, reaching with his good arm to tug at the hem of his blood-soaked shirt. His abdomen was covered in half-healed punctures - only half-healed, even the oldest of them just barely beginning to clot.

"I'm not healing." Eris finished, "It's stopping me. Blocking me from my power. I'm..."

A heavy boom rocked the world, shaking the ground around them. Eris' words cut off, a yelp escaping her lips instead. Her shoulder, still a ruin of snapped tendons and half-regenerated flesh, appeared to slip free again, and she clutched at it with her good hand. His shirt darkened with fresh blood.

"See?" they muttered, pushing their shirt aside to show that the wounds had pulled open again, "It's got this... this pulse. Draining me. You know how much blood the average human body contains?"

"...Not sure I do, hon."

"Five liters." Eris answered, looking down at their clothing, "About this much. Dunno how much- I don't think-"

He cut himself off with a brisk breath, unable or unwilling to voice his thoughts. Rick realized a moment later that she was trembling. He couldn't tell whether that was exhaustion or pain or fear. More likely, some combination of the three.

The world rocked again, closer than before. Eris let out a low whimper, a shockingly pitiful sound to escape their lips. Any other time, with their spear and healing intact, they'd already be soaring back into the fight. Here, they hardly moved. Rick's hands were sticky with their blood, leaking more freely from their wounds.

"Rick?"

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"I love you."

"Whoa- what the fuck is this?" Not his finest response. But Eris didn't share those words openly. Not at all. He could count the amount of times he'd heard them, all of them half-asleep and behind closed doors. Eris' love was a different thing than most. He'd understood that from the beginning.

So words like these, rather than reassuring him as they did on those late and gentle nights, only sent fear spiking through his veins.

"It's me, saying... I care about you, cowboy. Always have. Even if I'm an ass about showing it." Eris sighed, "And if this is all the time I get before you're gone, or both of us... this is how I want to leave it."

Something thundered from above them before Rick could respond, and the ground shuddered. Rick tightened his grip, shielding Eris with his body. Loose pebbles, chunks of concrete, rained down on his shoulders. He was beginning to think this outcropping of rubble wasn't the safest hiding place. But there was nowhere else to go. He could sense, in some primal way, that their eldritch adversary was creeping its way nearer, step by step, pulse by devastating pulse.

"Say it back." Eris muttered, the words almost lost against his chest.

"Say-"

"I need you to say it back. Please."

There was a knot in his throat. He couldn't breathe. Rick shifted his grip, cupping the back of her head in one hand and pressing a kiss to their forehead.

"I love you, wartime. You know I do."

Eris hummed, weakly hooking their good arm around his shoulders and tugging him down into a proper kiss. They pulled back far too soon, their breathing shallow. It was strange to see them so hollowed and weak. Any other time, it would be healed in moments, and he'd be right back on his feet.

Rick didn't like this. Not at all. He'd always assumed he'd be the first to die. He never imagined he'd have to watch this happen.

Another tremor racked the ground, this one so strong even Rick could feel a few old aches of his own threatening to spring back to life. His newest scars felt like they were unwinding at the seams. He couldn't imagine the pain Eris must have been in, with so many open wounds.

And then the shudders cut off, there and gone like a switch had been flipped.

A beam of plasma cut through the air, bright enough to make him wince. In his arms, Eris took in a sharp gasp, their whole body shuddering like they'd been hit with a cold breeze. New muscle, clean and pink, crept over their near-severed shoulder and sealed over in moments.

Within seconds, the remains of their wounds had healed - at least enough to move - and Eris wriggled out of Rick's grasp. She crept out from the rubble and let out an incredulous laugh at the sight of their savior.

"I have never been more grateful to see that cornhusking son of a bitch..."

Rick followed, vaguely confused until he saw an all-too-infamous blur of blue and red whisking through the air.

"Cornhusking?" he echoed, firing them what was meant to be a teasing look. He was sure it didn't come across quite right- not through the relief that swept over him like a flood.

"He's from Kansas."

"He's from Krypton."

"Heh." Eris said, baring him a familiar sharp grin. All their earlier fear, all their earlier pain, seemed to have vanished in a heartbeat. "You don't know him like I do."

Their dark eyes scanned the battleground, and he could see hope and thrill blooming on their face as they did.

"DuBois. Croc. Nanaue." he listed, pointing at spots on the battlefield. Eris beamed, bouncing on his toes as the fresh thrill of the fight washed over him. "And Supes. Now we've got a fucking chance. Get your gun."

Eris rolled her shoulders, newly healed, then picked her way through the rubble until he found an exposed shaft of rebar. He found a grip on it and hefted it like a warhammer, wearing a contemplative expression.

"Primitive." they decided, "But it'll do."

Rick did his best to bite back a smile as he reached around his back. His fingers closed on a leather sheathe, older and more worn than anything he usually carried, and he held it out in front of him- a foot-long dagger with a corded hilt.

"Want this one instead?"

Eris dropped their makeshift hammer at once, prancing over to him like a child offered an ice-cream cone. They took the blade and unsheathed it, giving it a few experimental jabs and swishes. The metal gleamed in the light.

"You packed me a spare?"

"Tell me you don't have an extra mag in your armor pouch." Rick countered. Eris shrugged and reached into one of the pockets at their side, tossing him the magazine with little more than a thought. Rick grinned.

"You and your damn smug face, I swear." Eris huffed, rolling his eyes as he sheathed the dagger at his belt. Avoiding his gaze, she hopped up onto the nearest pile of wreckage and took a second look at the battlefield. "C'mon, Flag, don't make me wait on you."

Rick laughed under his breath, picking his way through the rubble and readying his gun. Eris shifted their weight, fingers twitching towards the blade at their hip. Anticipation, dark and violent, gleamed in their eyes.

But just before she dove into battle, she grabbed Rick's shoulder and pulled him into a kiss.

#my friends!!! #answered asks #my writing #my ocs #oc eris #oneshot #ficlet #angst #whump #the suicide squad #rick flag #oc x canon

[blackjackkent]

VERY challenging fight among the mind flayer pods. I think this might be the first time Hector and Co. have actually fought mind flayers directly, and these fuckers are SCARY. They have an attack called Mind Blast which can (and did, on one occasion) stun the entire group out of their turns, and another called "Extract Brain" which didn't seem to do exactly what it said on the tin (thankfully) but did do an absolute shitton of damage. I had to restart the fight twice because Hector was unconscious for the subsequent conversation with Zevlor, which I wanted him to be awake for. XD

(I've realized recently that I completely fucked up redoing his build as an Open Hand monk and I need to redo it again, but I haven't been able to go back to camp since we went down the Flesh Slide. But for Act 3 hopefully he will be a little beefier. For right now I'm just pretending that he's doing more work than he's actually doing in combat. :P )

The thing I'm most worried about here is that we don't have the option of taking a long rest, and everyone is REALLY hurting and low on spell slots and there's got to be some enormous boss battle coming up. :/ But we'll cross that bridge when we get there, I guess.

Also, Zevlor and the two Flaming Fist who were also in the pods fucking KICKED ASS during this fight. I don't know if I buy the tieflings' story that he showed cowardice out in the shadow-cursed lands, because he was definitely not messing around against these mind flayers. My personal suspicion is that he tried to surrender because innocents were in danger of being hurt, and didn't realize that surrendering to the Absolute cult isn't like surrendering to sane people.

But I guess we'll find out because we can talk to him now!

"Hells. I didn't think I was going to make it... Thank you..."

Wyll chimes in before Hector can speak. "Zevlor."

Zevlor glances towards him - then does a double-take, registering the horns and mottled skin now gracing the man's face and head. "Watching gods... The Blade of Frontiers? Wyll? What happened?" he asks, startled.

Wyll smiles bitterly. "I paid the price of angering the wrong devil." His voice is surprisingly cool, cautious, despite having known Zevlor before. The tales they have heard of Zevlor's supposed cowardice have clearly bothered him more than he's let on; after all, he considers himself the protector of the common people.

Zevlor looks at him steadily for a moment. His own smile is sad, weary. "And shouldered the cost to spare someone else a worse fate, I'd wager," he murmurs. A pause; then he turns to look at Hector. "I... owe you an explanation," he says. "Much more than that. But first... please..." His glowing gold eyes narrow anxiously, betraying the placidity of the rest of his expression. "The others. The ambush... tell me they survived."

Hector nods slowly. He isn't really sure what to think of Zevlor at this point; the reports of his cowardice and surrender do not mesh with the image he has seen of the man himself. "They found refuge," he says cautiously. Well, most of them at least. "But what the hells happened out there, Zevlor?"

"You've heard some of it, I'm sure," Zevlor says flatly. "That I froze, or broke, or some other lie that is kinder than the truth." His gaze grows distant, lost in memory. "We were ambushed by cultists, yes. And then I heard... Her. Their false god, whispering promises in my mind. I would be a paladin again - with a god's purpose, a god's power. Everything I needed to protect my people." He swallows, squeezes his eyes shut, regret and shame written in every line of his face. "And all the while, the cult tortured them. They fought, and ran, and died around me, while I imagined myself their savior."

He scowls, opens his eyes again, though he can't seem to quite meet Hector's. "By the time I regained my senses, it was too late. I did not just surrender to the Absolute," he mutters. "For a moment, I welcomed it."

Oh, gods. Hector stares at him, unsure whether to feel sympathy or revulsion.

The great horror of the Absolute, he reflects, is not in all the death, or even in the eldritch transformation and absorption of the mind flayer hive mind. It's in the way that this enemy preys upon the deepest weaknesses and fears of those it consumes, stripping them bare, with no corner of safety or identity left to them.

He saw only a few minutes ago how Zevlor suffered during the aftermath of the Descent - a paladin of Elturel, attacked and exiled by his own people without cause, his faith shattered apart. Yet another flavor of that same lost emptiness that Hector has seen in Lae'zel, in Shadowheart, as they have seen a pillar of their life taken from under them. Is it any wonder that, given a vision of that certainty being returned to him, he should be tempted by it?

Hector could, no doubt, chastise Zevlor for the weakness - but what good would it do? It's obvious that Zevlor already feels more shame than he can bear for what he did, for the loss of control and the sacrifices that went with it.

Like Madeline, in the grip of He Who Was, grieving for those she turned over to the Justiciars. I cannot grant you forgiveness you deny to yourself - but I can tell you that I understand.

"It sounds like you were being enthralled," he says quietly. "It's not your fault.

"It would be nice to think so," Zevlor says; his shoulders relax just slightly at the expression of understanding but none of the tension leaves his eyes. "But whatever these monsters twist us into... I believe it begins in us." He lets out a heavy breath, steadies himself - the military mind taking over, although Hector sees in the moment something of his own rituals of calming and self-discipline.

"I won't make excuses," Zevlor continues, more briskly. "I can't make amends. But I know something of what you came to do - I want to help, if you'll let me." He glances past Hector down the slime-ridden corridor behind him. "Ketheric is below. He thinks you're no longer a menace. Descend and show him how wrong he is. If there are any more survivors to be found, I'll find them and lead them out of this place."

Hector nods slowly, impressed by the force of personality it is clearly taking for Zevlor to stand against his own shame and exhaustion. "I could use another blade in the fight to come," he points out.

Zevlor smiles without humor. "Only if you can trust it won't be buried in your back. The Absolute swayed me once before. I won't risk it happening again." He puts a hand against Hector's shoulder briefly. "Go, my friend. Please. Let me do this much."

He lets his hand fall, turns and walks away down the corridor.

----------

Hector watches him go, his eyebrows knitted together in a troubled frown. "Damn," he mutters. "What a mess." He sighs, rubs a hand down his face. "I'm glad we found him. He's a good man, in spite of... all of this."

Wyll raises one shoulder in a slight shrug. "I want to think you're right," he says. "But people died because of his moment of weakness. Innocent people. People who trusted him to protect them."

Hector glances sideways at him. "And who is to say what vulnerable spot of ours would not be dredged up to destroy us at this moment, if the Prism was not protecting us?" he points out. A rueful smile tugs his lips for a moment. "We all have our regrets. Things we would like the power to change. None of us are exempt from that."

Wyll tips his head to the side and returns the wry smile after a moment's pause. "I suppose I can't argue with you there."

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #bjk writes her own party banter #:( :( :( :( :(