#it's just that it basically feels like it never happened because she remembers none of it but he does and he's the only one who does | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

samkerrworshipper · 20 days

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leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader, arsenal x reader

part 1 of beautiful girl series-> pt.2 -> pt.3

warnings: drug abuse, drug addiction, mentions of sexual assault, sexual assault, jordan and leah r broken up, basically a trauma dump, unedited, if you are not in an okay headspace this fic is not for u, based on beautiful boy

You find it hard to remember the last time you felt loved.

Not the kind of love that people tell you everyday, no, real unconditional, meaningful, purposeful love. The kind of love where a person looks at you like you single handedly hung the stars and the moon, the kind of love where it feels like nobody could love you in the same way, the same love that shakespeare wrote poems about, the same love that you know that you could never be capable of receiving.

You don’t really blame anybody but yourself, how could people love you, how could people want to love you? You weren’t a loveable person, in your opinion you were quite frankly the exact opposite.

Maybe when you were eight, when you were cute and loveable, when you had cute little piggy tails and wore pink overalls and only wanted to dance and talk about unicorns.

Maybe when you were ten and you spent every afternoon practising football in the backyard with your moms.

Maybe when you were twelve and your only aspirations for life were to win your school spelling bee and captain england just like your mom.

From then on, it all seemed like one big blur.

From 12 onwards you don’t think a lot of you was lovable, hell you hardly thought eight year old you was lovable, a tiny little orphan who had seen so much of the world and yet none of it, yet your moms had spent every single day trying to make you feel like you were and it had worked. For possibly the first time in your life, you’d felt that love, like a whole galaxy revolved around you, like no matter what happened in your life, you could face it.

It was funny how fast that feeling could fade.

It wasn’t really that surprising that you’d seeked out something to fill the hole inside of you, or at least that’s how you saw it.

It started at 14, when you were so consumed with all of the pain around you, the shit storm of broken relationships and the broken home that now replicated the same one you’d come from. Babies learnt to self soothe by being left to cry, teenagers learnt to self soothe through pain.

First it was spending as much time as possible out on the pitch with your moms, every single one of your afternoons spent practising, and any minute you weren’t on the pitch it was non stop studying.

You formed a anger for it, a pure hatred for the sport that your moms were so fond of, a sport that had brought them together and inevitably forced them apart.

At 15 you left football behind, you focused on your school, spending every spare minute on your studies, they headaches and migraines, the stress, the anxiety, it was all good, it proved that you were trying, it filled the hole inside of you.

When you were 15, you stopped caring. Your mama stopped caring, she moved 3 hours away for her own career, she didn’t have time to care about your school work, as for your mom, it wasn’t an easy job captaining the lionesses to a european championship, she had bigger problems then you.

When you turned 16, everything changed. Your mom tore her acl, Lia moved in, there wasn’t any room for you, let alone room for you to be loved. Your mama stopped visiting as often, only when it was necessary, for the first time in a while, you felt alone, truly alone.

When you turned 17, you found other ways to self soothe. Babies cried for attention, out of hope that they’d find some of that love that they were missing when they were alone. Babies cried because they had no other way of conveying the loneliness and desperate need they had for whatever they were seeking. Teenagers do stupid things in search of the same thing, love, attention and in search of something. Teenagers are stupid by default, you weren’t unbeknownst to that, the eight year old version of you though would have swore six ways to sunday that you’d never behave in the way you were, out of fear that you’d end up back where you’d come from, that you’d lose the only family that had ever showed you a glimpse of love, teenage you figured there wasn’t any more love for you, it had all been swallowed up by younger you, taken before you could really understand the magnitude of that love, before you needed it the very most.

Maybe it was the pot speaking, or the nicotine from your vape, or it was just the overwhelming cloud that always seemed to hit when you were high. It would fade eventually, it always did, all the deep emotional shit that made you want to cry would go, and you’d be left mellowed out, all of your feeling sucked out like a deep exhale, sometimes it just happened to be that you had to feel it all before you felt nothing, before the overwhelming numbness hit you and the hole in your heart was filled once again.

You flinched at the knock on your bedroom door, you were grateful enough for the warning, it had taken a lot of convincing to your mom and her best friend before they’d finally agreed to it.

You didn’t bother trying to hide your vape, the joint you had been smoking had been put out a couple of minutes ago.

“Come in.”

You stayed sat on the ledge of your window, your head hanging halfway out, the cool london winter breeze making your lips numb and your face pink.

The door opened slowly and you kept your eyes on the outside street, watching the cars drive past underneath you.

“Hey, dinners ready if you want to come down.”

You nodded absentmindedly, avoiding Lia’s eyeline.

“It’s freezing, close your window.”

You looked over at the swiss woman, a woman who was now so familiar in your home that you saw her more than the woman you called your mama.

“I’m good.”

You took a deep breath, one last inhale of the chilly air before turning to face Lia and uncurling your body, standing up and walking towards the door where she was standing.

“If you want to live in Antarctica then that’s your call.”

You try your best to suppress the eye roll, instead opting to pull your vape from your pocket and take a deep inhale, it’s not as good as the cold air but it’s something. It also helps to cover the weed scent that you’re trying to cover up.

Lia walks behind you, shaking her head at the puff of vapour that hits her right in the face as you make your way down the stairs and into the living room and then into the dining room.

Your mom is sitting at the table, fiddling with the cutlery and looking down at the meal that you know she most definitely did not cook.

It was one of the only bonuses of having Lia around, when jordan left the healthy and yummy food had turned into mostly take away and food that wasn’t cooked on a stove top because Leah had learnt her lesson after the multiple calls to the fire department.

You sat down in your normal chair, taking another hit of the vape in your hand before setting it down on the table and replacing it with a fork.

“I thought we’d talked about no vapes at the dinner table, bubba.”

You focused down at the bowl of spaghetti that was in front of you, it was the night before a game, which meant carb loading, you’d never been fond of pasta, although you supposed that had slipped Leah’s mind in the last couple of months.

“I’m not using it at the table, am I?”

You could feel the look of disapproval from your mother from the other side of the table.

You pushed your fork into the pasta, searching for a meatball instead of the pasta that you were desperate to avoid.

“Bubba I think you can put it away for half an hour every night, please.”

You pull your spare hand out of your hoodie, grabbing at the vape and slipping it into the pocket.

You focus on stabbing the meatball that your focus has locked onto, keeping your eyes downcast and focused on locating all of the saucy balls and shoving them into your mouth as quickly as possible.

Just as you’ve located and eaten all of the orbs that you can guarantee Lia made all by herself, your mom directs conversation at you once again, pivoting from whatever she was talking to Lia about,

“We’re playing in Manchester tomorrow night, you’re welcome to come with us on the bus if you want, or you could go with mumma, I think she’s planning to drive up to watch the girls. The girls haven’t seen you in a while though, Lotte has been missing you, she’s been asking me about you.”

You’d distanced yourself from your moms club teammates for a multitude of reasons, but it all stemmed down to the hatred that you had for arsenal, the love that your mom had for the club, the club that took all of her time, her teammates that saw more love then you felt you did.

“I think I'll just stay home for the weekend, mama is going to be in town anyways. Plus Maya and I were planning to do something tomorrow night.”

She was going to be in town, it didn’t mean you had plans to see her.

“Maya? Do I know a Maya?”

You tried your best not to be annoyed at your moms sudden concern about your social life.

“She’s just a friend.”

You could practically feel the eyebrow raise from the other side of the table.

“What were you and Maya planning on doing tomorrow night?”

You looked up for the first time, gritting your teeth.

“I don’t know, hang out, have some fun, nothing special. I want to see mama and I want to hang out with friends, is that not enough for me to stay home for the weekend,? It'll only be a night.”

You watched your mom collapse in, her eyes straying to the side to look at Lia.

“So it’s friends now, plural? I talked to Jord yesterday, she didn’t say that you had anything planned with her for this weekend.”

You wanted to bolt upstairs back to your room, light a joint and stick your head back out of your window and enjoy the serenity that came from it, but you held strong.

“Yes, friends, I have more than one, we’ll probably just hangout at someones house, no biggie. I haven’t talked to mama yet because I didn’t know what I was doing this weekend.”

Your moms eyebrow only raised further up her forehead, the line of hair practically melting into her hairline.

“I was a teenager once, you think I don’t know what a hangout turns into?”

You were about to rebut, answer with some snappy answer that probably would have gotten you in more trouble than you would have wanted, but you were silenced by the swiss woman sitting to your left.

“She’ll be fine Le, she’s smart, she’ll leave her location on, she won’t do anything you wouldn’t. Right?”

You nodded cautiously, a little bit shocked by the swiss woman’s attempt to help you out.

“Yes, I’ll leave my location on and I’ll meet up with mama the next morning, I’ll be responsible, I always am.”

You were grasping for anything, any reason to make your mother agree.

“Fine, but you do anything stupid, and I mean anything, then you’ll be in big trouble missy, and I want you to eat some more of that dinner, Lia puts a lot of work into feeding us.”

You swallowed the argument about your hatred for pasta, in favour of nodding your head meekly and twirling some of the noddles with your fork, forcing them into your mouth even if it made you cringe internally, it was a hard meal to swallow, but you did it for the sake of making your mother happy, something that you seemed to constantly be doing.

Once you’d eaten half of the pasta you called it quits, walking up towards the kitchen sink and cleaning out your bowl before placing it into the dishwasher and sacking it properly before closing it up.

You grasped for the vape hidden in your pocket, depserate for something to take the edge off from the conversation you’d had, the flavoured air providing a temporary comfort.

You dragged your feet back up the stairs to your bedroom, locking the door behind you and turning off the lights in your room.

Your room was cold, but you didn’t find yourself minding it.

You checked your lock for a second time, making sure it was definitely clicked shut before sliding underneath your bed frame and reaching around aimlessly for the container that was wedged into a corner of your mattress.

It didn’t take long for you to find it, your hand connecting with the rough plastic and pulled at it almost immediately.

You opened the container, forcing the lid open and picking out the bag that you were searching for.

Walking across the room in search of a card and flat surface was a mission that didn’t take long, both necessary factors found at your desk.

You opened up the bag, the answer to all of your feeling and struggles.

You shook a bit of the powder out of the bag, it was a routine that you’d adapted.

You’d always had routines, at eight it had been your nighttime routine. Bath, pyjamas, toilet, bed time story, cuddles, trying to get to sleep in your own bed, inevitably sneaking into your moms bed. At 12 it had been your pre match routine, wearing your moms first arsenal jersey to bed the night beforehand, a banana and bottle of water before the game, socks, shinpads, boots and a bottle of lucozade. At 14 it was your pre test routine, cue cards with one of your parents the night beforehand, a 12 hour sleep, a good luck hug from one of your moms and using your lucky pen. At 17 it was the little kit you kept underneath your bed, open it, find the baggy, spill enough of it onto your desk, push it into a line, take a deep breath through your nose.

It was a routine that kept you going, one that you clung to like the oxygen you breathed in.

When your mom tore her acl, your life changed permanently, no longer was any focus on you, it shouldn’t have really been a surprise that you’d fallen into a rougher crowd, that you’d turned to something else to help soothe the pain that had been coursing through your blood stream as everything changed around you.

It had started with pocketing a couple of your moms post surgery meds, oxy’s, they felt good, they felt so much better than anything else you’d tried to help fix you. But they were in limited amounts and it was hard to steal pills when Lia was monitoring everything that your mom did and took. You’d made friends with the girls in the form above you, and then their friends who were older, and eventually you’d found yourself out at parties on nights when you told your mom that you were spending the night with your mama in Birmingham, it had been eays enough, she was too focused on her knee to pay much mind to what you were doing and who you were doing it with.

There was enough money lying around the house, it wasn’t hard to find and subsequently it wasn’t hard to find somebody who was willing to give you more than you could find at the parties you where going to.

It had felt good, like for the first time in a while you had people who you could relate to, who were dealing with the same problems as you, you felt like you’d found a somewhere that felt more like a home than anywhere you’d been before.

The vapes had been a way to disguise it, to make your mom feel like she could control the bad things that you were getting up to, if she monitored your vape usage then why would you search for anything else?

Self-soothing.

You finished your routine by pushing the baggy back into its box and securing the box back into the spot it had come from, making sure that it was hidden from sight, before climbing into your bed and waiting for the proper high to hit you.

Weed and nicotine were good, it had been where you started out, but nothing hit better than a real high, a real proper feeling that made you feel inundated with complete numbness in the best way possible. It made everything quiet, every doubt and pain in your soul quietened down and it made you feel at peace.

You supposed it was what made drugs so addictive, specifically meth. They made a person in pain feel normal, it made an angry person feel calm, it made a sad person happier than ever, it made a person searching for everything yearn for nothing. It fixed every problem known to man and every problem man knew.

When the high hit you felt it across your whole body, your thoughts, pain and the loudness inside of you faded, everything faded, all you felt like was a body, devoid of everything besides the body you were inside of. To you, it was the best feeling in the world, it was a feeling you’d been searching for since you were a kid, when you’d felt so alone and unloved that you would have sold all of your internal organs if it meant that you could have felt the same amount of nothingness that you were in this very moment.

You would lie awake for hours riding it out, staring up at the ceiling of your room, studying the different ridges and bumps across the white plaster. Once upon a time it had been blue, with white clouds all over it, little stars and rainbows across it, when Jordan had moved out you’d forced your mom to cover it up, it was just another reminder of the love that you’d once found in your house miraculously fading away.

It normally took a few hours for the initial high to fade, for the endorphins and adrenaline pinging around in your bloodstream to calm down for you to be able to drift off to sleep, you didn’t really mind, you were used to it. Once upon a time it was the same feeling you’d gotten when your moms would smile at you, or when you would step off a football pitch after 90 minutes, or when you’d get a good score from one of your exams. Once upon a time it had all been organic, it had been natural, now it was all forced, a chemical reaction that your brain craved.

Somewhere around 4am you drifted off, it was convenient because it meant you’d be dead asleep when your mom and Lia left for the training ground, saving you from the interaction with the two of them.

You awoke around 12 o’clock, you dragged yourself downstairs and into the kitchen, enjoying the emptiness that surrounded you. At your mama's house there was Blu, and for some reason it always felt more crammed. At your mom’s house everything was open, quiet, tucked away. It was the way you liked it, plus she was gone more often with media commitments and Arsenal playing in the Champions League, so it meant you were home alone most of the time.

You chugged your coffee like it was your first drink in days, groaning when your mom’s contact started buzzing up in front of you.

“Mom?”

You tried your best to sound awake, you don’t think your efforts were very successful.

“Hey bubba, how’d you sleep?”

You didn’t really think your mom actually cared about how you’d slept, more like it was a conversation buffer.

“Fine.”

You could hear the sound of your mom’s teammates in the background, a couple of months ago you probably would have been there with her, nowadays there was nothing you wanted less.

“Good. Look, I talked to Jord this morning, she’s going to come and hang out with you tomorrow until we get back, she should be around in the morning.”

The same anxiety that always seeped through your mom’s voice when she talked about her ex was easy to detect, like she was nervous to utter her name or mention her.

“Cool.”

You wondered why she hadn’t just left it up to you to organise something with your mama, but you supposed you hadn’t been great at that recently. Jordan’s number was something you had a aversion to.

“Which means I want you home before 1am, and I want you to be sensible tonight, your mama is very excited to see you tomorrow and I don’t want you being a dickhead or being dead to the world, You’ll be polite and spend time with her, understood?”

She made it sound like an assignment, like you had to be on your very best behaviour, like you had to put on a show for Jordan.

“Whatever.”

You heard a huff of annoyance from the other side of the phone, it was a sound you’d gotten used to, Leah used it frequently.

“Don’t whatever me, bubba please, Jords is really looking forward to it, she’s been feeling a bit left out by you recently so please for me, just try your hardest to be good for her. Be safe tonight, I know you and your friends like to have some fun but just stay safe, if you need anything don’t hesitate to send me a text or a call, I love you bubba.”

It felt empty, like your heart, like everything around you, like something she had to say.

“I love you too mom.”

The call fizzled out and you let a deep breath that you’d been holding in go, you did love your mom, it just didn’t feel like she loved you anymore.

You went about your day in a haze, your friends were due to come to yours before the party around 5 o’clock, so you had some time to yourself before then, time you were undoubtedly planning to do not a lot with. You tried watching tv, tried organising and cleaning your room, none of it took off the edge, none of it made the world silent like you needed.

It had all started with parties, a way for you to get out of your comfort zone, a way to make parties a little bit more enjoyable. Now you craved them to make your life more enjoyable, to make it all a little bit more bearable.

It was all one big routine.

For a while you throught it was getting better, everything was solving itself. You’d lie awake in your bed at 3am, riding out the last bits of your high and you’d realise that it wasn’t, that there was no solution to solve what had gone wrong with you and made you so fucking unlovebale.

You knew your existence wasn’t eays, hell Jordan and Leah had adopted you when you were at rock bottom, and they’d still found a way to love you, to make you loveable, but you figured somewhere along the way they’d run out of things about you that were loveable.

You weren’t normally someone who got high during the day, but you were home alone and figured why not, you’d been taking them at night for months now, what would a day time fix change? Everything felt better when you were riding on a high.

You spent the rest of your afternoon sat on your window sill, counting the cars as they drove past. When your friends came around at 5 o’clock you were ecstatic, hurrying down the stairs as fast as your woozy body would allow you.

You had friends that your moms met and friends your moms didn’t, these were the ones you were yet to introduce to Leah.

You didn’t think that she would approve of the friends that you hung out with when she wasn’t around, especially considering they were quite a bit older than you.

There were benefits to it, they bought you alcohol they could drive you around, they were smarter then the kids your age.

Maya, Olivia and Scarlett were nice enough, a little bit stupid but it didn’t bother you too much, you were all like minded, you liked to have fun and party, with the assistance of some recreational substances.

None of them batted an eye at your clear intoxication, pushing a bottle of something or another into your hands before walking with you up to your room to start getting ready.

The drink burned as it made it’s way down your throat, it was therapeutic, a reminder that while you felt disconnected from your body because of the drugs, you were still present.

You let one of the girls do your makeup, packing your face until you looked well over the age of 17, then allowing one of them to sort through your monstrosity of a closet until they found a cute corset top and skirt. Leah Williamson was a lot of things, a fashionista being one of them and that had always carried through to your wardrobe. You were more than equipped with clothing for every occasion known to man.

By the time you’d downed your first drink of the night the euphoria was starting to hit and you were starting to feel good.

By the time your second drink had been downed you were being thrown into a car and were on your way to the party, sharing a joint with Liv who was sat in the back seat with you, the two of you occasionally shotgunning the smoke or blowing a puff at eachother.

It was good, it was relaxing, it was what made you feel at peace.

Pulling up to the party was a whole different kind of feeling.

You didn’t know who’s party you were at, who’s house, where it was, it didn’t matter to you, not really, all you cared about was having a good time by your standards.

You flicked your phone onto silent, desperate to avoid any contact from anyone, instead focused on the spectacle around you as you stepped into the threshold.

Maya introduced you to someone she went to school with, a man that looked like he was nearly as far gone as you felt. You smiled at him, giving him a hug and nod, trying to rush the introduction so you could get a drink in your hand and take a seat.

“You’re quite cute aren’t ya, how old are you sweetheart?”

You looked across at your friend, curious as to whether you should lie or not, she nodded her head and you took it as approval.

“17.”

His smile only grew, his head cocking to the side.

“A youngin? I’m sure we’ll have some fun tonight, the young ones always know how to go harder, whaddya like, sweetheart?”

You tried your best not to appear uncomfortable, even if his attention was putting you off a little bit.

“She’ll take whatever, although she has been having some fun with ice recently, she likes her vape and some molly sprinkled in with it.”

Matt slapped you on the back, his smile only growing.

“Definitely a fun time then, I’ll catch up with you later sweetheart, I reckon I have something you might like, head on in guys, I’ll catch you later.”

It wasn’t a big house, it wasn’t small either though, it was full enough that it probably seemed smaller than it truly was.

There were people everywhere, which surprised you considering it was only early, not that you minded, it was more convenient anyways.

You were dragged to a couch with your friends, they were less far gone than you and almost immediately were sniffing up lines of whatever was on the coffee table in front of you.

There was so much happening around you that you struggled to understand it all fully, there were puffs of smoke coming from every direction, needles being handed around, different pills being popped, lines being sniffed. It was the kind of environment you liked to think you’d come to flourish in, it made you feel more relaxed then anywhere else on the planet.

You relaxed into the couch, enjoying the spectacle around you and subconsciously taking hits of your vape as you watched the splendour occur around you.

There wasn’t a single legal thing about it, but you didn’t care, there was a cold drink in your hand and the scent of pot and vapour surrounding you, it was the best place to be on the planet.

The night slowly started to fade into a blip as you made your way through more drinks, your body surrendering to the feeling of the alcohol coursing through you and the high slowly starting to fade. You were cautious of the fact that you needed to be home at a certain time, you didn’t want to push your mom’s wishes, you were also aware that you could manage another shoot up before getting yourself home.

“Oi, where can I find some meth.”

Maya had headed somewhere with some boy she knew from highschool and Olivia had left in search of a spot to smoke, leaving you and Scarlett.

“Go find Matt, he’ll hook you up.”

With legs like jelly and a swaying head you stood up from the couch, your vape clutched in one hand and empty bottle in the other. It didn’t take a lot of searching to find the man you’d been introduced to earlier, he was sat on a couch, a girl on either side of him, who both looked about as far gone as they could get without being passed out.

“Pretty girl, what can I do for you.”

You didn’t like the way the term of endearment slid off of his tongue so easily, in almost a condescending way.

“Do you have meth?”

You didn’t care if you were being too straight forward, you were itching for something to get you back 0onto the high that you’d been riding out for the past couple of hours.

“I do, but it’ll cost ya.”

You rolled your eyes, money was hardly a problem for you.

“I’ve got money.”

His head cocked the same way it had earlier.

“I don’t want your money sweetheart, c’mon, I’ll get you some meth.”

The same slippery term of endearment that made your throat hurt. He shook the two girls off of him, standing up with a lot more composure than you and beginning to walk out of the lounge room you were in and towards the staircase. You followed him up, holding onto the banister with everything you had and trying to keep up with him as the both of you arrived at the top and he began walking down a corridor, until he made it to the end and opened up a door.

You assumed it was his bedroom by the looks of it, which made you uncomfortable slightly but you accepted the fact you were craving a fix and he was potentially the only person who could supply it in this moment.

He rummaged through a bedside draw, until he pulled out a syringe and a bottle of what you assumed to be dissolved crystal meth. You’d always kept your distance from needles, it gave you a better high but it was harder to hide and harder to deal with, the powdered form was the least complicated.

You could feel your heartbeat pick up as he beckoned you over, patting for you to sit down on the edge of the bed. You walked over, taking a seat on the bed and watching with curiosity as he prepared the needle, and took your arm in his, securing a rubber tourniquet around your bicep and feeling your skin for a vein. Once he found it he picked the needle up, filling it with a couple of mls of the liquid before bringing it up to your arm, gently inserting it into the vein, sucking in a bit of your blod and watching the red swirl with the drug mix before pushing down on the syringe and inserting it into your blood stream.

It was immediate validation, your head dropping back with ecstasy as the drugs infiltrated your body.

“Feels good doesn’t it, sweetheart.”

You nodded your head, enjoying the sensation of the lingering sting as the needle was pulled from your arm and the tourniquet was untied.

His hands were on your chin, tilting your head up so you were looking at him.

“Now, I think it’s time I get my payment, hmm?”

You took one last breath, enjoying the validation of your high.

“I told you I have money.”

He shook his head and with the smirk on the corner of his lips you couldn’t help but feel slightly worried.

“No, I prefer my payment other ways.”

Even with the alcohol and drugs running through your veins, you couldn’t help but feel sick to your stomach immediately.

You were suddenly frighteningly aware of your position, and undeniably feeling a little bit scared.

“What way?”

You didn’t like how your voice wavered, your age becoming more obvious as you struggled to stomach the different thoughts going through your head.

“I’ll show you.”

His hands moved to your hair, dragging you off the corner of the mattress and onto your knees below him.

You tried to dissasociate it, tried to dissasociate as his hands fell to his belt buckle and fly, tried to disassociate so you didn’t have to think about the million no’s that were banging against your skull and leaving your lips as his fly came undone and he let his pants drop to his feet.

You’d never really expressed your sexuality, you hadn’;t felt the need t, both of your moms were gay, so were most of their friends, you knew no matter who you were dating they’d be happy for you, you knew that whatever this was though you didn’t want it.

With your weary head and drugged up body there wasn’t much fight you could put up as he opened your jaw for you and forced his way inside of you

You tried your hardest to dissasociate like you’d taught yourself, thinking about the high, thinking about the drugs, thinking about your moms, thinking about everything in your life that had once loved you and you’d once loved the same. Normally it worked, normally you trustd yourself to get you to that safe space that made you feel like no matter what was happening you could deal with it, you just couldn’t get it to work though, there were tears streaming down your face as his hands stayed planted in the roots of your hair, the hair a couple of hours ago that your friends had been curling and working on whilst you’d all be laughing.

He didn’t last long, that was something you were grateful for.

As soon as his hands left your hair you were bolting up from the floor, walking as past as your weary legs would let you before anything else happened that you couldn’t stop.

You catapulted your way down the same stairs you’d marched up happily, not paying any attention to the people in the background as you pushed your way out of the front door, breathing in the freezing london air and clinging to the freshness of it and how it cooled the pain in your throat.

You didn’t hesitate calling the uber, the tears on your face spraying down onto your phone screen as you tried your hardest to focus on the task at hand which was getting home and getting as far away from this as possible.

You didn’t care that your mom could track your uber account, you didn’t care that there were thirty unread texts from both of your moms and a couple of phone calls, all you cared about was getting home to your bed and doing whatever it took to forget about what just happened.

The uber was quick enough, you practically threw yourself into the back seat, trying to calm yourself down, but failing miserably.

If your uber driver noticed then he didn’t comment on the fact that you were practically hyperventilating in his backseat.

The car ride home was quicker then you thought it would be, you were so grateful it was an away game night, that you didn’t have to deal with anyone, but you were also secretly crumbling about the fact that you were all alone, that you had been all alone in that room with him, that you had no one to stop him and couldn’t do anything about it.

You were hardly steady on your legs as you unlocked the door with your keys and swayed your way into the living room and then towards the stairs, finding the incline slightly jarring but desperate to get to your room and bed so you could sleep of the horrendous feeling in your gut. High be damned, alcohol be damned, all you wanted was to be asleep, so you partially forget about all of this and hopefully it would fall victim to all of the endorphins in your head and be permanently removed from your brain.

Your room was cold, your window still open, you didn’t care.

All you cared was getting out of the too tight clothes you were in and getting into your bed.

You pulled at the corset, unbothered when you heard the seam ripping as you tugged at it, your skirt was easier. You flung a hoodie and pair of pyjama pants onto your body before climbing straight under your covers, your body shaking. You weren’t sure whether it was because of the high or because of the incessant hatred that had grown in your chest at the memory replaying over and over in your mind.

You clutched onto your vape, holding it in your hand and sucking up hit after hit as you tried to find solace in the flavoured air, hoping it would send you off to sleep.

You woke up with a headache like no other, your whole body hurt, and to the sound of repetitive banging at the front door downstairs.

You groaned out, annoyed at every single part of you for what had happened last night.

Your legs were still wobbly as you clawed your way out of your bed, your legs protesting with every single step you took, out of your room, down the stairs, to the peephole at your door.

Jordan, fuck.

You supposed in your haze it hadn’t been hard to forget about your mother’s appearance for today, you’d been trying desperately to forget so many other things that it must have slipped your mind.

You didn’t want to open the door, but you also knew you had to, so with every last piece of strength that you had in your body, you pulled the door open.

#woso #woso community #sammykworshipper thoughts #leah williamson #arsenal wfc #leah williamson x reader #jordan nobbs #jordan nobbs x reader #trauma #pain #sammykworshipperfics #wobbs breakup #drug addiction #im sad so are u #im not the only one crying #sue me for hurting ur feelings #sick and twisted

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sapphire-writes · 1 year

Text

A Second Chance

pairing: Aemond x Reader request: Hello! Sorry to bother you but i have a little idea that came from all the reblogs you recently made! basically Aemond is away so Alicent requests that reader! Comes back after a long time to the red keep because she wants to see her boy happy 🥺 of course its just a simple start but would love to see nice Alicent helping his baby ~ anonymous

warnings: none! this has the tiniest amount of angst but mostly fluff word count: 1.4k note: loved this, loved writing emotional Aemond & your messages are NEVER ever a bother! 💚 masterlist

“I was ever so sorry to hear of the death of your lord husband, Lady (Y/N),” Alicent said, giving you a look full of a mother’s compassion, “and so unfortunate he should leave you so quickly after you wed.”

You take a sip from your cup. The Queen had invited you to the capital and you had been delighted to return. Ever since you arrived your eyes had been searching for Aemond.

You had both left on such harsh terms those several years ago when your betrothal had been announced. You had been missing him for years, feeling as though a very piece of your own heart had been missing.

“Thank you, your grace,” you tell her, speaking softly.

Your lord husband had been a kind man. Married to you as an alliance for your families and that was all. He was nearly twice your age, but he had been sweet to you.

“My son has missed your presence,” Alicent tells you.

“I was hoping to see the prince,” you said, heart rate increasing.

Alicent nods, looking off to the side. Your smile falters as the realization washes over you at her hesitant glance.

“Aemond does not know I am here,” you tell her. It is a statement, not a question.

Alicent struggles to keep the smile on her face. She brought her hand to yours, squeezing it gently.

“I thought perhaps we shall surprise him,” she says softly.

“I do not think he wishes to see me,” you tell her, and feel a slash of pain in your heart. The wound is still fresh, though the years had passed.

“Tell them not to let me go,” you had begged him, chasing him down an empty corridor.

The one-eyed prince had stopped his long strides turning to face you.

“Tell them you wish to marry me,” you had begged.

Aemond had been silent for many moments.

“I cannot tell them what is not true.”

You remembered it as though it had happened yesterday. The cold look in his eye, so unlike that of which he usually awarded you. None of the kindness you had grown to love.

“He does,” Alicent insists, “he has been terribly lonely these past years. Growing more resentful each day. I worry about him.”

In truth, you had never stopped thinking of Aemond. He plagued your thoughts at every moment.

You blink away the tears that gather in your eyes.

“He shall be returning soon,” Alicent tells you, “join us for supper tonight, please.”

Her thumb continues to stroke the back of your hand, a hopeful look is in her eyes. You nod in agreement.

Aemond remembered watching you go, the way your eyes had filled with tears. The look of betrayal on your face. That most of all. That has haunted most of his days since your departure.

In truth, he had wished to marry you. But duty is often in conflict with matters of the heart. And duty demanded he remained unwed.

And though it pained him to do so, he had to let you go.

Aemond walks quickly to his chambers, eager to bathe and dress before joining his mother for dinner. The days have been long, and there is no feeling like that of being home.

He hisses as he lowers himself into the tub, the hot water nipping at his pale skin. Aemond wishes to be done quickly, he doesn’t like being alone with his thoughts. He finds himself constantly training, reading, researching, and doing anything to distract himself from the constant thoughts that plague him.

You.

It has been years since he last saw you since you last spoke. He supposed you must have several children by now. This did not make him sad, he hoped you had children to brighten your life.

Aemond readied himself before making his way to his mother’s chambers. It was to be a small affair for supper that evening, as Aegon was entertaining some guests from the west.

“Aemond,” Alicent said, as he arrived. She embraced her son whom she had not seen in several months.

“It is good to see you, mother,” he said.

“I have missed you,” she told him, “I have invited a guest for dinner..”

“A guest?” Aemond questions, as the door opens.

He turns and his breath catches in his throat as he sees you in the doorway. Your eyes are wide as you take him in. Aemond looks good, taller perhaps if that is possible. Leaner, the entirety of him is ropey muscles. He is handsome as ever, eyepatch securely covering his ruined eye. Aemond’s lips part.

“Hello Aemond,” you say softly smiling.

“Lady (Y/N) has agreed to join us for supper, isn’t that lovely?” Alicent says, placing a hand on her son’s arm.

Aemond jerks his head in a nod causing Alicent to smile.

“I shall be but a moment,” she says, starting toward the door. She stops to caress your cheek, before leaving the room, the door clicking shut behind her.

You inhale a shaky breath.

“Are you well?” you ask as Aemond continues to stare, a rather innocent expression on his normally harsh face.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice hoarse. You wet your lips wringing your hands together.

“Your mother invited me to the capital,” you tell him, “I did not know you had no part in the invitation.”

“My mother?” Aemond said, shaking his head. Of course, his mother. The hopeless romantic who always wanted more for her children than the hand she had been dealt. You nod.

“She wished to offer her condolences,” you continue, walking towards the fireplace. You reach for a grape that lays on a golden tray. Aemond’s brow furrows.

“Condolences?” he asks, watching you pop the grape into your mouth. You chuckle.

“Shall you speak in questions all evening, my prince?” you tease before answering his question.

“My late husband has passed,” you inform him. A moment of pause lingers between you.

“I am sorry to hear that,” Aemond says, “I do hope your children are weathering alright?”

You meet his eye, a blush beginning to creep onto your cheeks. Aemond wishes he could place his hands upon your cheeks, to feel the burning that resides underneath your smooth flesh.

“We were not blessed with children,” you tell him, “my lord husband was not well, for the majority of our marriage.”

“Did he treat you well?” Aemond asks, voice turning to a tone of concern.

“Oh yes,” you assure him, “yes, he was very kind to me. But-”

You find yourself struggling to speak, struggling to find the right words.

“He did not love me,” you decide, “he did not desire me. It was a quiet marriage.”

Aemond is watching you carefully. How foolish he had been to let you slip from his fingers. The gods are good, they must be repaying him for his suffering in some way by returning you to him. By offering him a second chance.

“I would,” Aemond says softly.

He walks over to you until he stands directly before you.

“I would love you, I would desire you,” he tells you, “I do, I always have.”

Your eyes fill with tears and you shake your head.

“You don’t have to say that-”

“I do, and I was a fool,” he continues, taking your hands in his, “I was a fool to let you leave when I loved you. I have loved you and continue to love you.”

The tears are freely flowing down your cheeks, dripping past your chin and onto the stone floor.

“There has not been a day that goes by where I do not think of you,” he continues, “there is not a corner of this world I could fly to where I did not see your face. In every passerby, in the light of the moon. You are everywhere. You are all-consuming.”

“Aemond,” you beg, not sure exactly if you wish him to stop or keep speaking.

“I love you,” he insists, fingers digging into your waist.

You bring your hands to his chest, pulling him towards you and connecting your mouths. The kiss is desperate and passionate, making up for the lost time. Aemond can feel the coolness from your tears caressing his face, and you start to laugh against his mouth.

He kisses you again and again, swallowing the happy laughter that pours from your sweet lips.

Queen Alicent stands outside the room, back pressed against the wood of the door, listening to your whispers, and laughter. She places a hand against her heart and closes her eyes, happy that her son has found the love he so longed for.

note: hope you enjoyed I love me a good love confession, especially from our fave one-eyed prince 🥹

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quokkawritesarchive · 3 months

Text

BE MY VALENTINE — HYUNMIN.

pairing: hyunjin x seungmin genre: smut, NSFW warnings: drunk confessions, oral (s. receiving), dirty talk, cum swallowing a/n: it’s part of my valentine’s collab! i may have got a little bit carried on with the plot and went way over the word limit…

it was a particularly sad day for a romantic person like hyunjin. after years of being an idol, he craved for love. he just wanted to find a person who’s gonna accept him the way he is and understand him fully. hyunjin was a hopeless romantic after all.

seungmin, on the other hand, locked up his feelings long time ago. he knew it won’t be possible to date anymore because of his constant work and crazy schedule. but deep down, he also craved for love, he wanted to find the right person too.

that’s how both of them ended up drinking on valentine’s day like some losers. all other members were busy doing something — jisung distracted himself with writing lyrics for a new song, jeongin was watching some k-dramas, minho and changbin went to the gym, and felix and chan were playing genshin and spending their entire salaries on a new banner. everyone has found some way to distract themselves from valentine’s day. no one wanted to think of how lonely they truly were.

since hyunjin’s dorm was basically empty and jisung locked himself in his room, it was mutually decided to drink there.

seungmin was a fan of beer, but hyunjin stuck to the good old soju. he wasn’t really a drinking type, but the occasion left him with no other choice but to get absolutely blacked out.

the bottles were carefully grouped up on the coffee table, while the boys were sitting on the floor and watching something on tv. none of them paid much attention to the screen, as they were already tipsy.

“when was the last time you kissed someone?” hyunjin suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had been going on for the last half hour.

seungmin stopped mid drinking, shifting his gaze from the tv screen to hyunjin’s face.

“dunno… like a few months ago? when we went to the strip club for chan’s birthday, i think?”

hyunjin nodded rapidly, indicating that he still hadn’t forgotten that day.

“yeah i remember how i found you making out with some bitc- some girl on the sofa.” hyunjin quickly corrected himself, earning a laugh from his friend. “why didn’t you rent her for the night? she was all over you.”

“ugh… i think that’s exactly why i didn’t rent her. because she was all over me.”

hyunjin put on a “don’t lie to me” look and seungmin sighed.

“i don’t know… just… didn’t feel like it…”

“didn’t like the kiss?” hyunjin suggested, opening another bottle of soju in the meantime.

“maybe.” seungmin avoided the question carefully, dancing around it like fire. “that was last year, jinnie. i-“

“don’t remember?” hyunjin chucked. “okay, you don’t have to answer truthfully.”

seungmin felt his cheeks burn. despite the fact that he really wanted to tell the truth right now, he knew he would regret it tomorrow. he hid his sexuality this whole time not to end up telling the secret the second he got drunk. especially at this moment, when hyunjin looked so cozy in that hoodie and glasses, with his hair smeared as if he just woken up from the nap.

“you good? want some water?” hyunjin waved in front of seungmin’s face, waking the latter out of his trance.

“no, no, i’m good.” seungmin replied nervously. has he been staring this whole time?

“let me actually bring some water. we’ve been drinking non stop, it’s time to sober up a bit.” with that, hyunjin disappeared into the doorway.

perhaps hyunjin was right, and it was time to sober up. if he continued to stare like that, it would end badly for both of them. seungmin slammed his own cheeks a couple of times to calm himself down. and it actually worked. by the time hyunjin returned with two glasses of water, seungmin was already feeling much better and less sleepy.

both of them emptied their glasses in silence, as if the talk before had never happened. after a few bottles of alcohol, the water seemed to come straight from heaven.

“so… what about you then?” seungmin asked, not being able to shut his mouth entirely. once the unusual topic like this was brought up, it was hard for him to move on. it really affected him, he was dying to know hyunjin’s answer.

“what is it to you?” hyunjin said surprisingly sharply.

“ah, cmon, dude. you asked me first! now it’s your turn!” seungmin laughed it off, but he got so concerned deep inside. why did hyunjin become so defensive all of a sudden?

“i’m gonna steal your answer and say i don’t remember.” hyunjin winked, earning an irritated growl from seungmin.

“yeah, yeah, of course. i know you’re dating someone secretly, that’s why you don’t want to answer!”

“and what if? are you jealous?”

seungmin got shut up so hard. he couldn’t even think of a proper comeback for like ten seconds, staring dumbly in response. by the time a minute had passed, it was just awkward to even say anything, so he just took another sip of beer.

“so… you are jealous?”

seungmin cursed under his breath. he needed to leave right now, before it was too late. if he doesn’t, he will ruin everything. everything.

“why did you ask me that question for?” but instead of leaving, seungmin got straight to the point. he was digging a hole for himself.

hyunjin smiled and looked him dead in the eye. “the first one? let’s just say i didn’t ask to hear how you liked making out with that girl.”

“then why?” seungmin’s eyes started flickering between hyunjin’s eyes and lips.

hyunjin’s eyes dropped down to seungmin’s lips as well as he said almost inaudibly. “because I wanted to kiss you.”

seungmin didn’t know how, but it happened. one second his gaze was captivated by hyunjin's inviting lips, and the next his eyes were closed with his own lips pressed over hyunjin's. he wasn’t sure who leaned in for the kiss first, it didn’t matter anymore. but the fact that they were even doing it couldn’t sit right in his mind. he was scared of losing himself quickly, trying so hard to control the moment. their lips parted for a moment to inhale, and then met again for the second time, with a slower and gentle pace.

the tv kept playing in the background this whole time, but all they could hear was the sound of their lips moving, exchanging saliva and pulling away for a moment to tilt their heads. their noses brushed every time, which felt even more intimate than the kiss itself.

hyunjin’s lips were as plump and soft as seungmin imagined. the sharp taste of soju filled seungmin’s mouth, mixing with the taste of beer he was drinking. the slow kiss quickly progressed as hyunjin brought his face impossibly close, deepening it further.

the pace had picked up as well as they continued to glide of their tongues over each other so languidly. all they could worry about was the urge to taste each other more.

hyunjin’s hand finally made it onto seungmin’s thigh unintentionally. almost reflectively, he began to slide his palm on seungmin’s inner thigh, causing the latter to moan deeply inside the kiss. hyunjin’s mind already felt floaty because of the amount of consumed alcohol. but now that seungmin was responding to his kiss so eagerly, desperately, submissively… he felt like on fire. he wanted to touch seungmin more. kissing was not enough.

after minutes of heavy make out and hyunjin’s hand caressing his inner thigh, seungmin’s cock began to grow bigger in his pants. with another accident brush of hyunjin’s palm over his groin, seungmin finally broke off the kiss, pulling away with swollen lips. hyunjin was staring at him with desperation in his eyes, breathing heavily, lips as equally glossy and swollen.

they were silent for a second, until hyunjin spoke. “you are a pretty good kisser. no wonder that girl was all over you.”

“shut up!” seungmin growled, hiding his face in embarrassment. “we are both drunk. we should stop, otherwise we will end up fucking each other.”

hyunjin’s lips grew into a smirk. “what if i want us to fuck each other?”

seungmin turned away completely, feeling his dick grow bigger at the words. “fuck- don’t say that. i’m so hard already… we shouldn’t be doing this.”

hyunjin laughed and then tugged seungmin closer by his t-shirt, ignoring his speech entirely and making him yelp in surprise. “let me help you then.”

hyunjin was not blind. the outline of seungmin’s dick poking his pants so deliciously was grabbing all his attention. and after seungmin expressed his wishes, it was impossible for hyunjin to stay away. he knew what seungmin wanted and how desperately he needed it. his dick screamed for touch, for any relief.

hyunjin reached his way into seungmin’s mouth for the last time, not wanting to pull away. their tongues danced around each and over their bottom lips once again, before hyunjin broke the kiss.

excitement was rapidly building up inside him. he finally got what he’d wanted for years. that night, on chan’s birthday, he was crushed by the sight of seungmin making out with that girl. he looked like he enjoyed it, and hyunjin was so surprised when seungmin ended up politely declining her further offers. but now… he could finally feel his lips with his own.

true to his words, hyunjin reached into seungmin’s pants, straight into his boxes.

in a matter of seconds, the entire length of seungmin’s dick was open on a plain sight. hyunjin stared down at it, precum all over, dropping from the tip further down the length. it was endearing to see seungmin so aroused for him, so desperate for his touch.

“let me know if i should stop, ‘kay?” hyunjin said against the skin as leaned in, planting series of kisses on seungmin’s inner thigh. he let his lips brush near the hip, kissing it slowly before biting on the soft skin.

seungmin nodded lightly and shut his eyes, holding his breath. his hands reached for hyunjin’s head, interlocking his fingers in strands of hair and pushing him lower.

hyunjin’s hot breath tickled the tip, and seungmin almost let out a loud moan, but quickly bit his lip. he had almost forgotten jisung was still in his room down the hallway and actually could walk in any second.

but a quiet moan did escape his lips when hyunjin kissed along his tip, softly and slowly. he then trailed down his tongue from the head all the way to the base while using his other hand to softly run it across the inner thigh. the cock was already painfully hard from the heavy make out, so hyunjin could apply barely any effort to make seungmin moan in desperation. he watched how the thick string of glimmering precum connected his lips and seungmin’s cock.

hyunjin looked up only to see seungmin’s clouded eyes and his bottom lip sucked between his teeth. the embarrassment was crushing over him. but it wasn’t embarrassing to hyunjin at all. rather the opposite; it was hot. seeing his friend in such a state was so hot. he immediately felt his own cock growing harder and bigger against his pants, which was slightly uncomfortable; but he chose to ignore that feeling for now. the image of dripping and hard swollen dick in front of his face was much more exciting.

running his tongue down the dick from top to bottom for the last time, as if licking a lollipop, hyunjin finally pushed it inside his throat until he started choking slightly. hollowing out his cheeks, he started bobbing his head up and down, trying to take more than he possibly could.

“ah-“ his actions finally caused seungmin speak up. “your mouth is so warm.”

the praise only made hyunjin to bob his head faster, the tip of the cock hitting the back of his throat repeatedly. seeing the impact of his own actions on seungmin’s body gave him a sense of confidence. seungmin panted above him, his fingers digging deeper into hyunjin’s hair as he pushed him further down his cock.

it became messy quickly. the spit started running down from the corner of his mouth, dribbling all the way down his chin and onto seungmin’s thighs. but hyunjin didn’t care; the messier the better.

the sounds of slick connecting with hyunjin’s lips sliding down the entire length filled the room. seungmin felt himself getting anxious again, since jisung was still somewhere in the dorm.

“don’t be shy, min.” hyunjin spoke as if he was reading seungmin’s mind. “i bet he is wearing headphones. he always wears them when he writes new lyrics.”

seungmin replied breathlessly. “w-we’re not hundred percent s-sure…”

“okay, then next time we’ll go to your dorm.” hyunjin smiled, sinking back down on the dick.

next time… the words repeated in seungmin’s head. he could no longer tell if it was an empty promise or a real chance that it would happen. but right away he came to the conclusion that he wanted this to happen.

finally feeling the satisfaction of having something warm wrapped around his cock had him in chokehold. hyunjin was skilled, seungmin could tell it from the way he got him worked up so quickly.

fighting the inner shyness, seungmin lowered his head once again only to be met with hyunjin’s ardent gaze.

“‘m g-gonna cum if you keep looking at me like that.” he swallowed hard.

hyunjin’s eyes nearly rolled in satisfaction just from hearing that. he was so addicted to praise. and the only thing that worked as good as praise were the high-pitched whimpers leaving seungmin’s mouth.

“then cum for me.” hyunjin said without breaking eye contact.

that alone made seungmin’s breath hitch in his throat as he started shamelessly fucking into hyunjin’s mouth.

hyunjin wasn’t sure what was prettier, seungmin’s shameless actions or the moans that were leaving his mouth.

the thrusts became more rapid; seungmin grabbed onto hyunjin’s hair till it started to physically hurt. seungmin’s head threw back as he spilled loads of hot cum down hyunjin’s throat. he didn’t pull away, sucking it all effortlessly and tasting the saltiness of the cum. it still felt unreal how he had managed to ruin his friend like that in such a short time.

seungmin’s face completely changed as he realized hyunjin had swallowed everything that just came out of his dick.

“hyunjin.” he said with a concerned tone.

“c’mon, don’t look so disgusted.” hyunjin chuckled, leaning in closer. “you taste good.”

he then found seungmin’s lips again, letting him taste himself on his tongue.

he really couldn’t stop kissing him.

his lips were addicting like drugs, making hyunjin light in the head. the way they melted into each other for another good minute was almost like they’d been dating forever. even with seungmin’s shyness, everything felt natural, as if it was meant to be.

the loud slam of the door down the corridor made them jump away from each other.

“jisung.” they said in sync.

seungmin barely managed to shove the dick in his pants, and hyunjin took a pillow from the couch to hide his own erection.

“you guys okay?” jisung appeared out of the darkness of the corridor. “you look like you saw a ghost.”

“yeah, you.” seungmin responded in his usual manner, making hyunjin laugh.

“whatever. alcoholics.” jisung sighed, looking at the pile of bottles on the coffee table.

hyunjin and seungmin exchanged looks again. little did he know what was happening here just moments ago.

-> reblog to support me, if you enjoyed reading this and please let me know your thoughts in the comments! ♡

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TAGLIST (OPEN): @lvlnijiro @hanjisung-enjoyer @fun-fanfics @soonie1010 @noellllslut @newhope8 @channiebahngswife @chanscappuccino @vivioluh @rockstrhanji @yoontaethings @katsukis1wife @caitlyn98s @yaorzu-blog

#stray kids #skz smut #hyunmin #skz hyunmin #hyunmin smut #hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin #skz seungmin #seungmin smut #hyunjin x seungmin #stray kids smut

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miyaur · 10 months

Text

"little things they do that let you know they're saying ily" ♡

synopsis. scenarios or headcannons of mine about what they do to say ily, or u can see this as relationship hcs smh smh

warnings. none, other than kissing (ew)

author's note. im alive?!?! and posting?!?! woahh (send requests plss), yes i wrote everyone their own little paragraph. HELP ME THIS ALSO LOOKS LIKE THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES :( (it is basically)

pairings: most hsr characters x gn!reader (seperately:p, except bailu, hook, clara, yukong, and yanqing because i got lazy ><)

arlan acts out his love by his actions. constantly mentions and talks about that one quote that 'actions are louder than words.' and so they are! he always tries to yk, make you remember you feel loved. would like to just bring you around with him, or even vice versa, like i said before he doesn't seem too sociable, and usually just talking to people other than asta for business purposes, yet that differs when you help introduce him to other people.

tbh he'd probably like dates at home more than going out. like cuddling by the fireplace, just both of you covered in a blanket together cuddling near the warm fireplace like damn!

asta, oh this sweetheart!! she'd try to tell you with her words, all the time, that you are what she loves so much, and dearly!! the words 'i love you' are always constantly being said to you! and honestly she's just the kind of person to hold your hands, and put it on her chest, and tell you that she loves you to the moon and back. she just wants you to always know the way she loves you, is unlimited, and never ending. she wants you to always know that.

cmon, she would obviously stargaze with you for dates.. every weekend you both go out. to stargaze.

blade shows his love with his actions, i know he can't communicate that well with you, thinks its even luck finally on his side that you got with him, that you liked him back. that you loved him? just.. wow. you know? anyways, i just see him being the type to pull you in a little closer when his arm is around your waist, and you say something he agrees with! he's very touch starved, but that doesn't mean he can't be the one initiating the cuddles and shit!!!

just prefers dates at home, likes it when it's only the both of you that see each other in that moment. just likes it better yk?

bronya is the kind of woman to show it through gifts, and her words of praise? maybe an honest mix of everything? she's just really new to all of this so.. maybe just tries to give you everything she can. even if she doesn't always has time, she'll always be calling, texting, and sending gifts to you, even if you both are planets apart, she'll be constantly making sure you're okay with video calls and etc. besides, she's gonna miss you too much if she doesn't!

"hey hon.. it's like 2am.. is something up? anything bad that happened?" you asked bronya, as you look outside your window to see a dark sky, the moon covered by clouds. "i-- i'm sorry.. i just called to hear your voice. nothing bad happened.. i just really missed you." she says, while rubbing the back of her neck. "oh.. okay."

dan heng just that guy to be always giving his time to you. as much as he can, he'll bring you wherever he goes. as long as you want to too, but he always hopes that you do want too, because he isn't always gonna be on his phone to call or text you. so he thought it'd be easier to just bring you with him. and he'd put his life on the line just to protect you, so basically thinks you'll be fine travelling with him. but even if you don't wanna, he doesn't mind just waiting on the astral express with you and himeko..

similar to march 7th, he'd fill jars of little strips of paper of just compliments he's used on you before, or even square-ish paper filled with little doodles of you, or the both of you

fu xuan wants to show you she loves you with gifts, and her words. she speaks really fancy so she's gonna be using big words to describe how she loves you. or how exquisite you are. or how graceful you are when you fend off enemies. she thinks you're perfect, and deserving of the world. and she'll try her best to give 'the world' to you. honestly just seems like the type to whisper corny shit while you're sleeping. like 'i can't believe you're mine, and in my arms out of so many.'

would also stargaze, knows exactly when meteor showers will be, she's very factual when she talks about shooting stars, or meteors that pass by that look like shooting stars. she'll be busy ranting about how people think meteors that pass by are shooting stars, because no it isn't-- why does she feel soft lips on hers..? oh! you shut her up.. with a.. kiss.. now you got her cheeks red.

gepard likes to gift you little trinkets he finds around belobog or whatever planet. but he also would wanna gift his time as his best present to you. probably sets up the most romantic dates ever, with the help of serval of course! always asks big sis serval if this is good enough for you, or if you'll like this and that. seeing her little brother so in love makes her laugh a little too, but she's always more than happy to help.

tries to learn how march 7th did those little paper stars she gave to serval, has asked millions of times, so you decide to help him with the paper stars, not knowing he was learning for you..

herta.. would literally give you the world. but in all honesty she'd give words of praise, and i mean genuine words of praise. receiving real praise from THE herta?! and being her lover?! wow!! she doesn't really know what it means to love, and you probably would be her first, yet, she feels like you both have been in a relationship since forever. it kind of shocks her, sure she's seen, heck she's probably studied relationship for you to be with her! and it's nothing what she thought it'd be, never really.. prepared for the whole.. 'butterflies in your stomach' feeling..? the little warm tingly feeling, it really shocks her, but.. i guess in a good way.

would play cards against you, even thought she could very easily win against you, she doesn't, she lets you win most of the time, because she loves your expression when you win against her <3

himekooo!! oh himekoo <33 such a sweetheart!! i just know she's very good with her words! uses that to her advantage. takes every chance she can to fluster you! thinks whenever you cover your face with the palms of your hands all cuz she said a corny pickup line to you, she's in love with that!! she's all for it actually! lives for you being all flustered. she also remembers little things about you, little and big details. knows how you like your coffee, or if you like stuff like soda, etc.!!! it's just basic knowledge to her, like also what you're allergic to.

as soon as you come home, tea is ready for you, the bed is made, your favorite movie is on, fresh roses are in the pretty vase she gifted you before you both started dating. she just knows how you like everything, and is waiting for you with your favorite snack. ahh

jing yuan?? hmm.. i kind of see him as a mix of everything, like he'd give gifts very often, and his attention will be on you 24/7 too. and if you tell me and say he wouldn't be so smooth with his words.. like come on. there's so much i wanna say abt this cutie patootie. but yk.. if your gaze seems to last too long on a certain item while you both are walking around thoughh.. just know you'll be getting it that night later on, or even right now! and is another flirty sweetheart who lives for his s/o being flustered as hell!! that's srsly all i can say ykyk?!!?

"but i just need to finish this one stack of paperwork and i'll be free the rest of the week!--" you exclaim as jing yuan protests silently by carrying you up the stairs to your shared bedroom bridal style. "but i need you to cuddle me tonight though, besides, it is due in 2 weeks! just 1 break honey.." he says placing you down onto the bed, "fine fine.." you say as jing yuan jumps into bed onto your chest

kafka is another sweetie pie who's real flirty1!1!!!! and live laugh loves physical touch like ngl she always will be having her arm around your waist whenever she can! pickup line nerd, like i just know she knows every corny pickup line in existence. and lives for your flustered expression too! and would definitely shower you in kisses when she has the time!! 'oh honey.. you know i had such a day at workk..' she knows all the gossip, and will tell you. anyways! such a dear lover, wants to be with you 24/7, but not according to elio's script, she can't always be there with her baby..

"honey honey-- one more! one more! do you have a map?" kafka asks laughingly and she cuddles closer to you, phone in hand. "no i do not." a serious tone decorated in your voice, "because i got lost in your eyes!" your girlfriend laughs even harder, as you sigh, won't this be a long night.

luka bby<33!! such a romantic sweetheart tbh... literally would love to drown you in praise. like it's just a telepathic feeling. probably likes skin-to-skin contact, both romantically, and sexually. like it's something he's so into bro i swear, and i kind of feel like or think that he never really gets a lot of hugs cuz of his arm, and ppl think his embrace would be like cold metal or whatever, AND THE HELL NO IT IS NOT?!?!? like please please please keep giving him cuddles, hugs, anything, keep loving him, tell him his hugs are so warm n stuff!!

outdoor dates!! big yes for him!! and as long as you wanna indulge into the mountains with him, he definitely will bring you to amazing places!

oh... luocha.. hahhahaaksdskdj.. this man is soo SMOOTHHHH WITH HIS WORDSSSS!!! such a physical man too sorry not sorry, such a sweetie pie hahaha...... sorry back to srs writing, he's very much a mix of everything, he could get gifts so extraordinary, like a bouquet of flowers of a species of flower that barely grows anymore, or even not in season that month. he gives the best cuddles ever, and his kisses are just so.. enticing!?!?! like very often as soon as he comes back from them long ahh expeditions, soft makeout sessions are a need for him.

yes yes yes. museum dates. or dates where he knows where your favorite flowers grow or even planting a garden together, but even if you don't like flowers, or are allergic, don't worry! an ordinary picnic with his favorite plant surrounding the place is quite alright!

march 7th!! she definitely has a fun way with her words! in a good way of course! and absolutely loves hugs, and hugging you. definitely loves cuddles too, physical touch is definitely one of her love languages. she just wants to compliment you while she gets to have you in her arms like damn <33?!?! she's just so in love with it, everything about you. almost losing the words to describe you, whether or not

march just that kind of lover to fill 2, 3, 4, and even 10 jars filled with paper stars of your favorite color!

natasha.. she's like the mommy to mommy issues idk.. oh but very loving i swear on my life. like if you tell me she wouldn't just loves to always have her arms around you, or her hand cupping your cheek to kiss you. very poetic, and romantic babe bro i swear, she the type to make a full on candlelit dinner for you, petals surrounding the path on the way to the dinnertable, she's a good cook promise!!

likes to just put your hair behind your ear whenever there's a stray strand on your face. like you both just in silence, while you look at something else, and she's just busy admiring you

pela omg such a cutie!?!?! probably so touch-starved too.. but she gives little gifts and her time as her way to love! really wants to give you the world, forehead kisses with her are very common, she loves to kiss you tbh! but her neck is very sensitive, give it a little kiss and she'll be as red as a tomato.

would definitely ask to draw portraits of each other, like both of you drawing or painting each other's faces on canvases! whether or not you're good at drawing, she doesn't care, just wants to laugh off the terrible art you both do <3

qingque!!!! honestly is also a touch-starved honey, like she doesn't show it off a lot, but she really needs just a hug. and also! likes to give gifts! probably very good at gifts! very creative with them! like even the box she wraps it in is so silly. oh but she likes to give you little pecks on the cheek ong!!

please. please. buy face paint and paint each other's face, like i just know she would love to do that with you!!!

sampo is a flirty jerk i swear. he flirts with you for the sake of seeing your pretty face getting flustered. and lives and breathes for pickup lines, they're either real creative, or them generic, CORNY ahh ones. loves giving you gifts, but he has.. maybe.. stole some of them.. JUST SOME OKAY!! oh but he can cook, like i think he can cook pretty well for himself! and can bake exquisitely, uses this talent when he needs a get-out-of-jail card, aka when he owes someone a favor.

just go bake with him honestly, like just a date at home where you two bake silly little cupcakes for each other, and decorate it with goofy candy.

like i've said on here before, seele would always use her words to let you remember that you're worth something to her. and worth a lot. you place a high value in her life, and she'd die a million times if it meant you wouldn't get hurt by anyone, not even a scar. she's a bit touch-starved, yes sure, she'll be a bit shy at first, but at some point, she will initiate the cuddling<3

i feel like belobog would have many festivals now that the underworld and the overworld are together as one now, and seele would always know exactly when all these festivals would be, and it always means the world to her when you tell her yes to go with her as her date, whenever you say yes, it reminds her of when you first said yes to being her s/o<3

AAAA SERVAL!!! she's so sweetheart real!! i just know she has her own skincare routine and would so do it on you too. she likes spending time with you as her way of saying i love you!! 24/7 sleep back hugs when you cook or bake!! she's an avid lover of skin-to-skin contact i promise! physical touch is another way she tries to kiss your scars better for you<33

i just know she holds both your hands when you both kiss, whether it'd be on your temple, your nose, your cheeks, or your lips, she always ends up holding both your palms or her hand on your cheek <33

silver wolf loves you as much as she loves her games, so she would always spend time with you in the arcade, everywhere she can bring you with her!! likes your hugs, but not when other people hug her, cuz why would she want others' hug when she can have yours, and only yours.

lets you win on purpose when you guys 1v1 each other in games, because she loves whenever your face starts to glow with happiness for winning against her

sushang likes to spend time with you too! she drags you to every end of the xianzhou luofu just to find all the good food at the food stalls!! knows almost all the kids that roam around the plaza tho, and both of you play with them by running around playing games like hide-n-seek! she likes to think that time is precious, and if she spends it on you, that means you're precious :0

would so make you buy a face painting kit and gather all the kids at the plaza to make them animals (as in painting their faces with their fave animal)

tingyun spends time with you, and sometimes even brings you along when she has work! besides yukong doesn't mind~ and of course, this wouldn't be a tingyun post of mine without me saying she would tease, and would love when you get flustered from her silly words!!!! and would love physical touch ngl?!?! like falls in love all over again when you cuddle her, now you get to see her red!

just always gets so flushed in the face whenever you both share a bed, specially when your relationship first started, and being a few months in, you both are stuck in a clichè romantical trope of sharing a bed, yeah she was joking about it in the start but-- she never thought it'd actually.. happen!!

stelle would like to bring you out on every trailblaze mission she's on, and would tell you how beautiful, or how amazing, and genuine you are for years, on end. just if that's something you're comfortable with, i know that something mutual between the two trailblazing twins, is that they're always asking if you're okay with anything that concerns you. wishes she could keep you in her arms forever though<3

she will take pictures through march's camera, or even her own phone very often, so she would always show you old photos of you, and i think stelle is a very good photographer, no bad photo in sight, it makes everyone she takes pictures of a literal photogenic model, looking at old photos is what really comforts her when you aren't with her <3

caelus <33 quite similar to his somewhat twin, if he can, he will bring you to all the planets he's gotta trailblaze, he can go on for centuries just talking about how cute you are, literally gets so caught off-guard when you start to get flustered from his words alone, and to be fair he would lowkey use very.. big words. not like the ones fu xuan does, but only uses them when he talks about you, like he'll go 'oh.. you are such a pulchritudinous person, you know?'

unlike stelle.. when he pictures anyone, its all bad photos. like most of his photos on his phone, it's all such bad pictures help me.. shows them off to everyone with a very loud laugh too cuz why not ?!?!?!!?! looking at old photos is also what he'd do with you, making you laugh is also his objective while at it, so doesn't show the ones he has of you. actually the ones he has of you are the only good ones!!

welt yang is a man of taste, and divine bro, he is such a romantic. is a definite mix of everything. like he'd be so good with his words, while he has good hand placement and stuff, then again his gifts are so well-thought of. but what about the way he hopes you crave his touch as much as he crave yours?

i think im about to blow guys

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psalacanthea · 1 year

Text

Are we going to talk about how scary being the Inquisitor is for a Lavellan or…?

I mean, the more and more I have played this game, the more the Chantry shit is terrifying. Over and over again, you see painful and irrefutable evidence about the shit humans did to elves in the name of the Maker. The Exalted Plains is an obvious example. (I consistently call it Dirthavaren you don’t like it fight me bitch)

Like I think the entire fandom can agree on fuck that bitch sister Amity. The Chantry crusades destroyed what was left of the elves, destroyed them. Culture, body and spirit. Like be honest, there aren’t many Dalish clans left and each time a new game/book comes around, another one bites the dust. It’s so easy to lose your clan in Inquisiton and even easier to accidentally kill off Marethari’s. Hell, you can choose to kill Zathrian’s.

The Dalish are dying out, any way you slice it.

Then suddenly a hole rips open in the sky and everybody thinks Lavellan did it. It destroys the Conclave…don’t tell me for one second that the humans didn’t immediately start developing an ‘elves and vengeance and antiMaker’ conspiracy theory. The ‘remain silent’ dialogue option in that first interaction isn’t a stoic ‘I don’t give a fuck’ to me, it’s more of a ‘whatever I say doesn’t matter I’m already dead’ for a Dalish Inquisitor.

The true horror is knowing that they wont just kill you, they’ll call for a bloodbath on elves across Thedas.

“For the elves were guilty of the greatest sin, of turning from the Maker.”

You’ve damned them all and you can’t even remember how or why. For a First, it must be terrifying to realize even if you try to diplomatically talk your way out of it, they’ll never believe you. As a hunter or warrior, you know it’s hopeless. All you can do is throw yourself forward as the villain, claim that whatever happens you acted alone and take as many of these shems out with you as you can. As a mage you know if they take pity on you, you’re condemned to their mage-slavery prisons.

“Whatever you think I did, I’m innocent!”

But then they believe you (barely, like thank the Creators the Lavellan clan taught you how to talk to humans civilly and not panic) but it’s basically a hostage situation. There’s one other elf with you and even if he’s not Dalish thank Mythal because shit you were scared and you’re still scared but at least it’s something. His name is ‘Pride’. You take it as a sign from the Creators that it’s not time to give up yet. Suledin, you think.

There is an orb, a weapon that caused this. Solas tells you it’s elven and your heart sinks.

“Eventually, the humans will find a way to blame elves…”

You become Inquisitor and things are a little better but the humans call you Herald of Andraste. You don’t believe in their Maker but none of them care. You know your clan would feel betrayed, think you’ve given up your gods. You haven’t of course but the terror is there…what if the gods think you’ve given up them? You talk to Cassandra and Leliana, trying to understand the human chantry and maybe figure out a way for your two beliefs to coexist.

But no.

You realize it wont help. Cassandra talks about spreading the Maker’s word to all corners of Thedas…you remember the lonely howls of the wolves across Dirthavaren. You know what ‘spreading the Makers word’ means. Leliana at least acknowledges what the Chantry did, but she dismisses it with words. All those lives and hopes and dreams dismissed with the words ‘that hate won’t just go away if you dissolve the Chantry’. You understand what she really means, though.

She’s saying that the hate will never go away, not until the elves are just like humans. The Chantry will never stop. She says she wants elves to be part of the chantry so they survive and you try not to taste bile in the back of your throat when you think of what that means.

“My father says humans are like weeds that choke out the grass…”’

Slowly, slowly, slowly...they consume you.

#lavellan #Draon Age Inquisition

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ixiot-ghostrebel · 1 year

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Ik this is more on the vague side, but ever since i read ur Irminsul headcannons about the reader in Imposter!SAGAU I got this idea, what if:

The reader could just remove info about themselves in the big tree lol - i mean, Scarab did it before might as well try it, no?

Irminsul itself might let us in without the permission of Nahida so we could go in undetected

Since looking through the memories of Irminsul might be like exploring an endless library, as long as you set your mind to it, you'd be able to find that info, like for example:

Memories about the "Creator"

Now, by now, you already know what I'm getting at, right?

Once reader finally figures out how to erase stuff by trying removing certain minor parts of Irminsul, they try to erase the entire memory of the "Creator" ever existing

Not as in like, they would forget that you were the Creator or that one exists, nor what they look like, but just the horrible memories and basically everything that the "Creator" did/made

But now, one would wonder, what would happen now?

I'd guess that, since the "Creator" is believed to love everyone, why is the one on the throne ruling and acting so... Tyrannical?

In my opinion, I feel like a rebellion would ensue sooner or later

But then, since Scarab lost his own memories when he removed himself from Irminsul, wouldn't that also mean the same thing for the "Creator" themselves?

Anyways, feel free to procrastinate and take your time on my take on reader being able to remove info on Irminsul hehe (bc honestly I'd also do that lmao)

Signing off, 🐱 Anon

WE GOT A 🐱 ANON NOW, BOIS—OPEN THE CURTAINS, OPEN THE LIGHTS! CUE THE CLAPPING AND CHEERING AUDIO TRACKS!—

Alright I'm done making a fuss about that lol—here's the headcanon/jot note version of a oneshot of everything that happens since my motivation was running low on oneshots/short stories.

Disclaimers: N/A

Reader Has Entered Irminsul...

Reader is in their Hunted Arc rn, getting chased by all of Teyvat under the "Creator's" orders. They keep running and running and running...

They're getting tired, and they soon find themselves in a dead end. They think of all the places they haven't been to yet: the desert of Sumeru, Inazuma, Mt. Aocang, Mt. Hulao, Wuwang Hill, irminsul—

Yeah, you guessed it. Just by thinking of irminsul, Reader has made it to the big 'ol Tree of Knowledge :D

Reader is shocked—surprised. But not for long—because they start to panic. They aren't sure if Nahida was on their side or not, like what the sagau fanfics say.

In fact, Reader is mainly scared that she already knows they're here.

That is, before the Reader feels a sudden urge to make it to the Tree of Knowledge. As if irminsul is calling for them specifically. They're weary of what this all means, but at the same time, intrigued.

It was the first time they felt like this. So, naturally, they followed what their gut was telling them, hoping that they won't regret this decision.

Reader gets close to the tree, surprised that they managed to make their way to it without requiring access from Nahida or even getting lost just to navigate the route to get there.

The moment they touch irminsul's trunk, however, the Reader feels a sudden blast of information, as if Teyvat itself is giving them the resources to know what to do.

By the time Nahida feels something from irminsul and she arrives to see what's up, it's too late. The Reader's already made the change.

All tyranny of the "Creator" was erased. None of it happened. Not once, not ever. The Palace of the Creator was never created, the Imposter themself never took on any throne...nothing.

Reader comes back to Mondstadt, hoping that what they did worked.

It did. No one remembers what the Creator looks like. There was no Imposter impersonating them. Reader was free.

They were free! They did it! They could travel the entire world now without risking getting killed! They could finally find a portal home!

Except...they forgot the Traveler existed. But even the Traveler is glad there is no more tyranny.

Andd, that's all I got! Sorry if it's short lol—I ran out of ideas for this :') I hope it's okay for y'all.

See you all around! :D

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: So, as I've been writing this, I'm going to give you guys a little update on something that you all really enjoyed in the past.

So, you know "Forever In My Hold" and "A Path Beyond Hope" oneshots? Yes, this is regarding of the little series that has been created. I have decided that I will be making a Part 3, but it will take a very long while. And it will be the LAST PART of the series. I just can't find the motivation to continue it longer.

Also: Should I do a remake of Live or Die? It's a very old writing of mine, back when I first began this blog. I'm not sure if y'all want to read it, but idk if I want to make a remake. Please let me know :)

#genshin sagau #sagau #sagau x reader #sagau genshin #yandere sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau impostor au #genshin cult au #sagau cult au #sagau nahida #genshin self aware #self aware genshin

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nolita-fairytale · 1 year

Text

make my heart surrender | carmen berzatto x fem!reader | chapter seven: tuesday, again

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, friends to lovers, references to sex, no use of y/n, second person pov, happy ending

word count: 3.8k

summary: you left your heart in chicago, so the only logical conclusion you've come to, is that you have to go back.

a/n: ok this author's note may be a long one. WOW. can i just say 'wow' holy shit?! i wrote this story in a week because inspiration struck and i couldn't get these characters, or this story, out of my freaking head. i am beyond grateful to any and all that read, liked, reblogged, or commented. thank you for being cheerleaders for me, carmy, and this story. i am truly so in love with these characters it hurts, so thank you for encouraging me to continue this love affair.

that being said, i am not done with these two at all. i have a few companion pieces i'm working on right now: a playlist, a headcanon, and maybe even a oneshot (or a few but who's counting)? thank you again for reading. please enjoy.

read: part six | masterlist

Tuesday, again.

It’s Tuesday again and your time in Chicago has come to an end. Carmy had stayed the night with you at your airbnb. But morning came, and he left early to start his morning at the restaurant. Truthfully, he just hadn’t wanted to watch you pack – couldn’t get out of there fast enough when you’d opened your suitcase. You noticed how much it bothered him, letting him know that you’d stop by the restaurant before heading to the airport.

And that was that. You’d gone your separate ways before, and you’d go your separate ways again – just for a little bit. And it wouldn't be like last the last time. It’s bittersweet – leaving today – but you keep reminding yourself of the conversation you’d had yesterday about the future of your relationship. You wanted to be with him, and Carmy wanted to be with you. The rest, you’d figure out as you go.

Your boyfriend.

It felt strange – even if he’d basically already been your unofficial platonic boyfriend back in New York. Adding a title to it was a whole other ball game.

New.

Never did you think, as you were preparing for this trip, that you’d return back home with Carmy as yours. You thought maybe you’d talk about what happened -- smooth things over -- but that would be that, and you’d go back to being friends. After this week, you were starting to believe you were never supposed to be just friends.

You had a feeling none of your friends would be surprised when you shared the news – not in the least.

You finish packing up your things, double checking that you haven’t left anything behind before heading to the restaurant. It’s about thirty minutes to lunch service, and since they’re not open just yet, you enter through the back door one last time for what feels like could be a while.

And there it is again: that bittersweet feeling.

“Chef!” Tina says, her eyes lighting up as she sees you. “You headin’ out today?”

“Hey, T,” you reply. “Yeah, I’m heading to the airport after this. Just wanted to stop by before I go.”

“Well you better come back soon,” she says almost as if it’s a threat, and you laugh in response.

“Of course.”

“There she is!” Marcus hollers across the kitchen, as soon as he spots you. “Damn. What am I gonna do with you?”

“Uh… keep doin’ what you’re doing and kill it?” you reply, eliciting a proud smile from him.

“Seriously. This last week… I’ve learned so much from you. Thank you,” he says, his gratitude evident in his voice.

“No, thank you, Marcus,” you answer, genuinely. “I haven’t felt this inspired in… well a while. I want to be kept up on all your new flavor pairings. Just remember. I’m only a text away.”

“Yes, chef,” he replies, moving in to give you a hug.

He wraps his arms around you and you hug him back. Boy, is it bittersweet. How, in one week, have you gotten so attached?

“Hey! I want in!” another voice chimes in, as you and Marcus’ hug comes to an end.

“Syd!”

You smile, greeting Sydney with a hug – a hello goodbye kind of hug.

“You better come visit me in New York,” you insist. You’re not sure how long you’ll be there, but you say it anyways, just in case it’s a while.

You watch as Sydney and Marcus exchange glaces.

“What?”

“Nothin’, chef,” Marcus answers, almost too quickly.

Sydney shrugs, “I don’t know. Just uh, wondering how long you’ll be there for.” She’s prodding and she knows it. You decide not to ask what she means by it.

“Well, if it ends up being longer… than I expect, you better come up,” you clarify.

“Okay, yes. I definitely will,” Sydney agrees with a nod, before pulling you in for one more hug.

“Hey, cousin said you’re headin’ out so Ebra’s made you a sandwich for the trip, babe. We’ll see ya around soon,” Richie greets, interrupting your moment with Sydney and Marcus.

Richie, whose affection seems to catch you off guard, slings an arm around you, handing you the sandwich that Ebraheim has so kindly wrapped up for you.

“Cousin!” Richie shouts, in search of Carmy.

“Jesus Christ, it’s ten in the morning. Are we already starting the yelling this early or-?” Carmy calls back to him. He bursts through the doors from where he’s been fixing something up in the front of house dining area. He stops as soon as he sees you.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” you reply, taking in the image of his unruly curls, white t-shirt, and blue apron you've gotten so used to over the last few days.

It’s almost as if everyone else but Richie tries to make themselves as busy as possible – to give you two a chance to say goodbye. You can hear Marcus and Sydney making themselves scarce as Angel and Manny turn the sink water back on.

“I just uh-, wanted to stop by before heading to the airport,” you say, unsure of just how much everyone else knows about you and Carmy’s current relationship. “Say goodbye to everyone.”

It’s clear that they know something’s up, but you still have your reservations about kissing him in front of everyone.

“What do you mean?" Richie asks, glaring at Carmy. "This asshat’s not takin’ you to the airport?”

Richies practically shouting for the entire kitchen to hear, causing you and Carmy both to take a breath. You exchange a ‘here we go again’ look as Richie continues on.

“What kind of-, I swear to god, cousin-.”

“Richie!” you hear Tina snap, looking up from her prep station. “Shut the fuck up and give them a minute, you old bitch.”

Richie throws his hands up, before bowing out of the conversation, leaving just you and Carmy in the middle of the walkway. You can hear Richie and Tina bickering in hushed tones over by the stove, earning a quiet laugh from you.

Your heart aches in the best way as you commit this moment to memory.

God, you're going to miss this.

“You wanna..?” Carmy asks, nodding his head in the direction of the back door.

You nod in agreement, letting him lead you back out to the alley.

And now it’s really just the two of you, and while it’s not the most romantic of backgrounds, you’re going to work with what you’ve got. Carmy seems nervous as he fidgets with the ties of his apron.

“You uh, you sure you don’t want me to take you to the airport?” Carmy asks hesitantly, thinking back to Richie’s earlier comment.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you answer with confidence. “Besides, I’d never want to take you away from these guys. You open in a few anyway.”

He smiles, accepting your answer. It’s something he loves about you: that you get it. You understand that sometimes the food’s gotta come first.

You didn’t know why it felt so weird – so challenging, awkward, strange – to say goodbye to him. Because it wasn’t really a goodbye. And it also was and you’re not sure if you have a name for this feeling yet.

“Carm?”

“Yeah?”

Instead of answering with words, you just reach over, grabbing that beautiful head of hair of his, and you kiss him. He tastes of the cigarette he smoked on his walk to The Bear and the Altoid mint he had later in his office in anticipation of your arrival. You want to memorize each and every part of this: the way he smells, the way he tastes, the way his hands feel on you. He pulls you in, wrapping his arms around you as you continue your passionate make out – your passionate goodbye kiss – in the alleyway behind the restaurant.

Your kisses begin to slow down, and before you know it, you’re pulling away from him.

“Text me when you land, okay?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

You nod, “Yes. Yeah. I will.”

And you want to turn to go, but you can’t yet, so you add, “Thanks for inviting me out here.”

He laughs dryly, leaving one more kiss on your lips for the road.

“Thanks for coming to see me. I’ll see you soon.”

A few Tuesdays later

It takes exactly five minutes of being back in New York to realize that Chicago is where you need to be. You don’t regret asking for time to think, but you almost felt silly to worry that you wouldn’t come to this conclusion. You have to go back: to the restaurant, to purpose, to Carmy.

You let yourself think through every little detail, and in each scenario, you know that Chicago is where you’re supposed to be. It had, afterall, been everything you’d felt you were missing.

Your heart was there, and for once, you were going to let yourself follow it.

You’d just needed some time to let your head and your heart catch up – get on the same page – and wrapping things up in New York gave you that time to get clear that this was your next step.

Not that you mind letting the man you adored and some very hot sex cloud your judgment.

It takes a few weeks, but you and Carmy text every day, even on the busy days. Some days you text a lot, and some it’s just a few exchanges: a ‘good morning’ text, a ‘thinking of you,’ and a ‘goodnight’ text when he’s wrapped up at the restaurant. But it doesn’t bother you. You know what it’s like. Other days, you’re able to sneak in a phone call… maybe even a FaceTime… and if you’re really lucky, you get to talk for hours before either of you realize it’s two in the morning and you should’ve been asleep a long time ago.

People are always coming and going in New York City. It’s why it’s not hard to find a sublet for your apartment, and once you’ve set the ball in motion, it feels impossible to backtrack. After you find the subletter, you tell the restaurant that you’re not coming back and they’re not happy with your decision. You tell them you’re moving to Chicago and only a few people left on staff understand why. Your friends who know you and Carmy aren’t surprised – just as you expected – and by the end of your happy hour catch up, they’re halfway to booking you a ticket to Chicago for that night.

Your parents on the other hand are less than ecstatic. They have more questions, more hesitations, and they want to make sure you’re thinking things through. You tell them that you have, that you’ve combed through every possible scenario, and each time you come to the conclusion that this is what you have to do.

But they’re happy you’re happy. They say they’ve never seen you like this and you agree. You’ve never felt this way before either.

You’ve got to stay just a little longer – make sure you can get all your shit sold or moved. Because you’re a responsible adult even when you hate being a responsible adult. It takes a few more days to get an available U-Haul, and you’re all packed up. You’d called Carmy earlier to tell him, but he’s not answering his phone. Sydney hadn’t been in touch either, so you figured they were slammed at the restaurant.

Holy shit. This is really happening, you think to yourself.

With one foot over the ledge already, you’re off.

Wednesday, again.

You’ve set him up so well that if he blows it, you’re gonna be pissed. All he has to do is be his normal, annoying, crass self.

C’mon, Richie, you think to yourself, pleading with the gods that this goes the way you hope it will.

As you’d told him your plan, he seemed more than happy to oblige. Just rile him up a little just to make the surprise that much better. Richie wouldn’t miss out on an opportunity like that, would he? You can hear shouting coming from the kitchen, and can tell your plan has been set in motion.

“Richie, what the fuck are you talking about? They said what? Who?” Carmy asks, frustratedly.

Yesterday’s dinner service was a shitshow. It’d been slower for lunch this afternoon, and he berates himself for being naive enough to think that he could catch his breath today. The last thing he needed after yesterday was some food critic coming into his restaurant to pick apart all of their hard work.

“I don’t know, cousin,” Richie shouts back defensively, as if he has no other volume level than that one. “I don’t know if she’s a fuckin’ food critic or not but she sounded like one. Somethin’ about an overseasoned juice or whatever the fuck!” “Jus,” Carmy corrects. “It’s pronounced, ‘zjhoo,’ fucko. Not ‘juice.’ How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Yeah, yeah, fuck if I care,” Richie mutters. “All I’m saying is you should go out there and give the pompous jack hole a piece of your mind.”

“Alright, if it’s going to get you off my back, I’ll do it!” Carmy snaps, having had enough of Richie’s shouting. “Just tell me where she’s sitting so I know who to talk to.”

“At the bar. Christ,” Richie sighs, removing himself from the conversation entirely as he steps away from Carmy.

Carmy sighs in frustration. He removes his apron before hanging it on one of the wall hooks, then makes his way through the swinging doors that lead to the dining area. It’s still slow, even after the small lunch peak they’d just experienced, and there’s only one woman sitting at the bar.

You.

It’s then the Carmy realizes he’s been set up. This was all just an act to get him out here – out to the front of house. His breath catches in his throat as he sees you sitting at the bar of his restaurant. You lock eyes with him, and he’s suddenly feeling much more nervous than he previously was.

“Surprise,” is all you manage to get out, half apologetically.

He makes his way to the open side of the bar, stepping around it so that he can stand on the same side as you.

“Hey,” he says, even though he’s practically speechless.

“So uh…” he stammers nervously. Out of all the things he could say to you all he can think of is, “What’s this I hear about an overseasoned jus?”

You shrug, a devious smile on your face and a sense of mischief in your eyes, “Well I had to come up with something that’d get your attention.”

“It worked. Consider it gotten,” he nods, a blush running all the way down his neck. “Wh-, What’re you doing here?”

He doesn't mean for it to sound so abrupt, but what he really wants to ask is: what does this mean?

You wait, taking half of a beat.

“I… heard you might be hiring another pastry chef to… you know… help out around here,” you reply, nodding towards the kitchen. Carmy has no idea how you’re playing it so cool, and you’re not sure how you are either.

“I-, I’d have to talk to Marcus first,” he stammers, matter of factly. His head is spinning, and he can’t breathe, in a good way this time. He can’t believe you’re here and half expects to wake up and realize he’s only dreaming.

“Of course,” you nod in agreement.

You pause again, wondering if he’s surprised in a bad way.

“I uh… I called,” you offer up, almost as an apology.

“We’ve been slammed,” Carmy replies, taking a step closer to you. “And I passed the fuck out last night after service. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay! I-, I figured…” you chuckle, beginning to explain yourself. “I just wanted you to know that-, I mean the rental company had a last minute opening and it was gonna take a few more weeks to get another a U-Haul if I didn’t-. I didn’t intend on making this like… you know this big surprise or anything…”

“... but then I saw Richie first and uh, well, I couldn’t help fucking with you a little bit.”

He laughs, shaking his head at you, “So this was a set up?”

“Oh yeah.”

You stand up, out of the bar chair, taking a step towards him. You look around, noticing that the restaurant is mostly empty, save for a couple in a booth over by the window.

“You never answered my question. About you. Being here,” Carmy starts, redirecting the conversation back to you. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up – needs you to say you’re here for good before he lets himself feel all of this excitement that’s bubbling up in his body.

“Right. I just came here to tell you that uh, I found someone to take over my lease in New York,” you start, seeing Carmy’s eyes light up.

God, you’ve missed the way he looks at you.

“And the urban garden I've been volunteering with… they got me connected with a spot here. Keep my head out of my ass,” you continue, eliciting another laugh from Carmy at your crude comment.

“Natalie’s-, she and Pete are gonna help find a place too.”

You take another step towards him.

“You talked to Natalie?” he asks, surprised.

And he, towards you.

You shrug, playfully teasing him, “She picks up her phone.”

“Right,” Carmy says shyly.

If he had picked up his phone you would’ve told him that you were coming and he’s not sure what he would have liked more: knowing ahead of time, or this surprise. Fuck it. He doesn’t care how it happened. He’s just glad he gets to have you.

“I… had a lot of time to think on the drive and-,” you tell him.

“Uh oh,” he interjects, playfully. “That’s never good.”

You shake your head with a laugh, “Will you just shut up and let me get through this?”

He concedes to you, a soft smile on his face as he waits for what you’re going to say next, as you continue your whole boombox over head, throwing stones at the window love confession thing.

“I was thinking that maybe I’d stick around for a while… get a cat or something to keep me company on the days we just can’t stand each other,” you say.

It’s not what he’s expecting to hear but he understands what you’re really saying. You want to be here. With him. You want to plant roots.

With him.

“A cat?” he questions.

“Well, yeah neither of us have time for a dog. We’re both gonna be too busy with the restaurant,” you answer, continuing this scenario you’ve got in your head.

“We?”

“We.”

Another step.

He waits for you to say more, but you both understand that anything else would be overcomplicating it. And suddenly you’re standing so close to each other that you’re grateful that there’s only two other people in this restaurant.

“Does this mean-?” he begins to ask, trailing off toward the end. He looks down at the floor, wondering why he feels so shy.

“That I packed all my shit up to move here? Yeah,” you reply, confirming his assumptions about where this was going. “When I got back, it took me about five minutes to realize that what I’ve been looking for-, I had it. For a week. Here.”

He looks back up from the floor, to you, his blue eyes staring into your soul.

You take a pause once more, mustering up all the courage in your body to say what you need to say next.

“I want to be here, Car. With you. If the offer still stands.”

He looks at you, you speechless, because he can’t believe this is real.

But this is real. You’re not dreaming, he reminds himself.

He opens his mouth to say something and all that comes out is, “You hungry?” And you’re shaking your head and laughing, hopelessly in love with the man standing mere inches away from you who can barely get out the words he needs to tell you how he feels.

“Because I’m sure you’ve had a long trip and I can-,” he continues to ramble, his face inches away from yours.

“God, I fuckin’ love you,” you blurt out, impulsively closing the gap between the two of you. You press your lips to his, giving him the most passionate kiss you’ve perhaps given anyone, and he kisses you back.

Because he loves you too.

And he never wants to let you go ever again.

Your kiss is suddenly interrupted by the sounds of voices, cheers, and a few claps, splitting the two of you apart. You both turn to find the entire staff of The Bear, crowded around the door that leads to the kitchen, and peeking out. Tina’s got a proud smile on her face, while Richie is most certainly the one clapping. Marcus is saying an ‘oh shit’ to Sydney while she’s practically squealing at the two of you.

You and Carmy exchange a look. He looks away, his face turning redder by the second, as you laugh.

“I called it! What did I say? Did I say three weeks? I think I fuckin' said three weeks." Richie cries out in celebration, his fist pumping into the air in triumph, earning a groan of disappointment from Gary.

"Pay up, fuckos!"

“Wait, what?” Carmy asks, his brows knitted together in confusion.

Sydney rolls her eyes, beginning to pull a few ten dollar bills out of her apron as Tina mutters an insult in Spanish

“You guys were-,” you start, searching the faces of your future colleagues.

“Betting on how long it would take for you to come back? Yes, chef. Yes we were,” Marcus answers, cheekily. “I said two weeks. Syd put her money on a month, but Richie said three.”

“I just meant that it’s not that easy to move! Not that you wouldn’t come back,” Sydney adds, justifying her guesstimate.

“I said she’d be back in a week,” Tina chimes in.

“It was clear to us you’d be back. We just didn’t know when,” Gary informs, leaning up against the bar.

“Well, that’s news to me,” you laugh, shooting Carmy a look that says ‘did you know about this?’

He shakes his head ‘no.’

“You two are also idiots. That was also clear to all of us,” Tina points out, earning a laugh from you and Sydney.

“Never even cleared your work station, chef,” Marcus adds, nodding back towards the kitchen. “You can uh-, come join us when you’re ready.”

You watch as Marcus disappears, back into the kitchen, hearing the sound or Richie’s more than jovial chants that he was right. Tina’s yelling at him in Spanish and Sydney’s telling Richie to shut the fuck up.

You’ve missed this.

“I uh… gotta get back to work,” Carmy says, pulling you out of your head. The blush permeating his face has spread all the way down to his neck and he's not sure how he's supposed to continue the day like this. “Gotta wrap up lunch and prep for dinner.” But he gets to do it with you, so he's gonna figure it the fuck out.

He turns to you, holding out his hand.

“You comin’ or what?”

You’re beaming as you take his hand, your heart pounding out of your chest. It feels like a beginning of something you don't have the words for, and you're very much okay with that. You're ready to throw caution to the wind and fearlessly dive in -- to take a leap -- as long as you get to do it with him too.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

the end.

taglist: @lazypeachsoul @bookwormvoyageuse @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha

#carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #the bear marcus #sydney adamu #the bear tina #richie jerimovich #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader

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sundropstories · 7 months

Text

My Sweet Druig

Pairing:Druigxreader

Summary: Druig and y/n are very old friends. Who realize they're in love with each other when they finally meet again.

Warnings: None :)

A/n: I Hope y’all enjoy since this is my first. I know it’s pretty short but I never see any Druig fics on here so I thought I’d just make one.

˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧˖⁺‧₊ ˖⁺‧₊

"And they should be coming up soon so we can start this meeting." I hear Tony say on my way down the stairs into our shared living room.

"Who's coming?" I say taking a seat next to Wanda giving her a small smile. "The Eternals" she responds.

I practically jump out of your seat. "Oh my god! You're joking, I haven't seen them in like, forever."

The truth is I haven't seen them since they split up. Which was the year 1521 so basically forever. I remember, I saw them the week before.

See I may look like I'm only 22, but the truth is I'm 1,492 years old. I'm Asgardian. Hela's daughter, actually.

I was raised as the princess of Asgard. I had this arranged marriage thing with Eros. He was the one who knew the Eternals. We'd hangout with them sometimes. Of course after..you know..I moved into the compound, because Asgard kinda...died..screw you mom!.. We called off our engagement.

—

Ding

The elevator opens. We all stand ready to greet them. I run to the front of the group. "Ahh I missed you!" I squeal and hug everyone.

I start to notice someone's missing. My heart sinks. I begin checking my surroundings, Maybe I just didn't see him come in.

"Hey! y/n are you okay?" Makkari signs a worried look painting her face. "Yeah, did Druig happen to come with you guys?" I sign back. "He should've been right behi-"

Ding

The elevator opens again. I immediately turn my attention to the dark haired man entering.

"Druig!" I yell running towards him.

I wrap my arm around him as he lifts me off the ground. "Sorry I'm late" he whispers and I can practically feel his smirk.

I pull away while he keeps his arms around my waist. I move my hands to hold his face. "I thought you didn't come." I whisper to him staring in his almost silver eyes. He's so pretty.

A breathy chuckle leaves his lips "My sweet sweet y/n, I'd never skip an opportunity to see you again." He leans in just enough to give me a small peck on the tip of my nose.

I giggle as I pull him in for another quick hug. Uhem, we're pulled out of our moment by someone clearing their throat.

We pull away from each other facing the rest of the group. "Right, everyone this is Druig my..um..friend, Dru these are the Avengers."

After the meeting everyone spent the rest of the day just getting to know each other. During the meeting we had all decided they'd move into the compound and help us on missions for a bit.

I lean over to my right where Druig sits and whisper just low enough for only him to hear. "Dru, do you wanna go do something else."

"Yeah" he whispers back. We stand and make our way to the balcony for some fresh air.

"So miss y/n you look very different." He says once we're finally alone. "Well yeah, now that there's no Asgard to be princess of , bye bye fancy dresses."

"Good" he says with a small smile. "Good?"

"Yeah, good. I think this suits you better." He says turning his head to look at me. " You don't think I looked good in dresses?" I say looking at him with a confused expression.

"No, you looked good, beautiful even. Just.." He trails off glancing at my lips then back at the stars. "Never mind"

"What? You can't do that!" I say touching his shoulder. "Okay, okay. Just, are you still engaged?" He asks.

I laugh. He gives me a confused look scratching the back of his neck. "What? Why are you laughing?" He says.

"It's just..you're cute and dare I say..a little jealous?" I say a smirk playing on my face. "Wha- I, I'm not..jealous. Why would I be jealous I've always known you'd have to-" I'm not sure where this sudden rush of confidence comes from, but our lips are already connecting.

When we finally pull apart our foreheads still connected, The butterflies begin to catch up to me. His hand resting on my face as the other holds my waist. He lets out a small laugh "I'm gonna take that as a no."

"Good." We pull apart, I turn looking towards the city in attempt to hide the scarlet glow creeping into my face. "Good?" He says mirroring my actions hands now on the balcony railing.

Missing the way they felt around me. "Dru" I say just above a whisper. "Yeah"

"You know that I love you, right?" I notice him shift a bit closer to me. "Of course, I love you too." He says a small smile tugging at his lips. "No Dru, I like, really love you."

He touches my arm with one hand, and with the other softly turns my face to look up at him. "Oh my sweet sweet y/n, I know what you ment."

#druig oneshot #druig eternals #druig imagine #druig fluff #druig x reader #druig #marvel #marvel x reader #eternals

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sturnmad · 5 months

Text

nick sturniolo x ftm!reader

um i wrote this for @hbpr1nce . it was meant to be a short little fluffy drabble but spiraled into a 2.6k+ friends-to-lovers monstrosity. idk

be aware my writing style is very different than most sturniolo x reader authors on this app. i use second person & generally avoid the use of y/n (I'd rather use an oc name if absolutely necessary). it's also really like... plot-y? reader-centric? i didn't even mean for that to happen. honestly this feels like a prequel, i might write a sequel.

also i forgor the exact timeline of Nick's coming out so i just winged it lmao

summary: you're nick sturniolo's childhood friend, basically follows you realizing you're a trans man w nick supporting you the whole time, + ur eventual getting together. angst+fluff, no smut.

warnings: romantic nick x ftm!reader, transphobia, body image/self-esteem issues, I'm posting w minimal editing so beware, uhhh thats it i think?

Nick's always been your biggest supporter.

He's one of your first friends, because in 3rd grade he's the only one who stands up to the teacher when she tries to send you to the office for something you didn't do. You remember it distinctly: Nick literally red in the face from all the yelling, Matt trying to calm him down.

Nick doesn't remember it at all, but you do, and you've been his friend ever since.

He's the first to understand you, back when you thought you just hated everything about yourself. You hated your hair, so you cut it off. You hated your body, so you covered it up.

You hated your name, too, but there was no real solution to that.

It’s just so flowery, you'd complain with a wrinkled nose. So common. It didn't fit your face. Maybe that was why you avoided mirrors (it wasn't, but you didn't know that at the time either).

On what must be the thousandth time you complain of it, Nick rolls his eyes and says, “Just change it.”

“What?”

He waves a hand. “Just go by a nickname or something. Change it legally when you're older, if you want.”

Huh. For some reason that never occurred to you.

You cycle through a few nicknames, mostly just shortenings of your first and middle names, but none of those feel right either. Again, it's Nick that solves the issue, suggesting a few names until he lands on one that just… fits.

When you ask your other friends to call you by it, one of them asks, “Isn't that a boy’s name?”

He doesn't say it rudely or anything. You freeze anyway, because again, you didn't think about that, and again, Nick comes to your rescue. “It's gender neutral, dumbass,” he says good-naturedly. Your friend laughs and the moment passes by.

(You don’t notice, but Nick watches you closely from the corner of his eye. He looks like a theory was just confirmed.)

A few months after you change your name, you hear some kids talking in the hall about a trans student, saying—well. Nothing good.

Your hands go numb. Your stomach churns violently, and for the life of you, you can't figure out why. Obviously it’s shitty of them to say that, but high school is awful and you've overheard worse without freaking out over it.

You dismiss it as a freak coincidence.

Your anxiety gets worse, and quarantine doesn't help. Your parents are especially paranoid about the virus, so you barely leave your house.

There are up-sides, though. You talk with Nick almost every day now. Apparently his entire house burned down, so he's stuck in a tiny apartment with his parents and three brothers. He's fairing well, though, and he's one of your only friends who keeps in touch with you.

When he calls, he always uses the name you chose for yourself (or did he choose it?). These days, he’s the only one who does.

Nick comes out to you on a warm August afternoon.

“Holy shit,” you say. “I mean, that's great, man.” You wince. ‘Great’ doesn't seem like the right word to use there, but what else are you supposed to say? “Does anyone else know?”

“Yeah.” You hear a sigh of relief, and your heart clenches at the thought that Nick would hold even a sliver of fear of your reaction. “Nate, Max—a few others… Matt and Chris don't know, yet.”

Your jaw drops. “What? You haven't told them?” Nick and his triplet brothers told each other almost everything. You figured they'd be first on the list.

You remembered, vaguely, a conversation where you asked Nick if he had any secrets from Matt and Chris. He'd hesitated before shaking his head.

Huh, you thought. ‘No secrets’, my ass.

“Yeah,” Nick said like he’d had this conversation before. “I don't know why. I know they'd be fine with it, obviously, but it's just… a lot of work, y’know? They might be weird about it. No, they definitely will be. That's almost worse.”

You frowned. Granted, you weren't as close with Matt and Chris as you were with Nick, but they'd never struck you as homophobic. And they'd always been close with Nick, closer than most siblings. You couldn't imagine them reacting negatively.

Still, you understood Nick’s nervousness. That was big news to drop. One way or another, everything would change.

“They might be a little weird about it,” you admitted. “But they'll get over it. Probably. Either way, you've gotta do it eventually so may as well get it over with, right?”

“Yeah.” The word was tinged with frustration. “I know. I'll do it soon. Probably.”

It's not a surprise when, on their next call, he announces he's done it. You congratulate him, and the two of you talk about life in general, though there aren't many updates. Your mind is elsewhere, and you think Nick senses it because you say your goodbyes a few minutes later.

In your mind, you turn it over and over again in your head. Nick is gay and he came out and everything is fine. Everyone is cool with it. And even though at this point you haven’t admitted anything to yourself—

Something inside you untenses.

***

When you see Nick in person for the first time in over a year, you almost double over in envy.

It comes from nowhere. It completely blindsides you. He steps into the cafeteria with Matt and Chris by his side and you're suddenly so jealous you could puke.

He just looks really good, actually smiling and happy and tall. That's the only reason you're jealous, you decide, as Chris nearly shoves Nick into a table. Nick had a glow-up but quarantine only made you uglier, inside and out. Of course you'd be jealous.

To your surprise, Nick singles you out first out of all his friends. “Hey.” He smiles. It's a gentle smile, and he looks so happy and good and—did you mention he’s tall? At least taller than you, though that's not saying much. You're short enough that you almost never get mistaken for a boy, and when you do, it’s usually because of your short hair.

But you and Nick have the same hair length.

Huh. Same hair, similar style (yours perhaps even more ‘masculine’ than his), but no one ever mistakes you for a man after they see your face or hear your voice. Your stomach twists in envy again at the thought, this time with a distinct undercurrent of self-loathing.

If I looked like you…

(I probably wouldn't hate myself so much.)

It's just because Nick looks so good, though.

***

It's a snowball effect after that.

It's like Nick coming out put the concept on transness on your radar. You find yourself reading articles about it late at night. Just out of curiosity, you tell yourself.

But being trans would explain a lot about you. Almost everything, really.

One night you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. That's something you don't usually do. You don't like your body. You don't like your face. And for the first time, you're thinking:

Why? What don't I like about it?

The fat on your stomach. The fat around your waist. Your mom always says you have “child-bearing” hips, a comment that never fails to disgust you.

Your chest. You hate when people comment on it or acknowledged its existence at all. Bra shopping is a nightmare and necessary evil. Do most women feel like that?

Maybe. You doubt it.

You go by a man's name.

You wear men's clothes.

You look like a man…almost. From certain angles.

You want to look like a man.

That’s true. You do.

In here, at least, you can finally admit something. Only to yourself, and only for now, and only partially.

But you're maybe, kind of, at least 80% sure you're trans.

Fuck, you think. I'm screwed.

***

You come out to Nick in a McDonald's parking lot. It's oddly fitting.

Usually, you wouldn't do it all in one go. You'd test the waters first. Mention trans people in passing and see how the other person reacts. Maybe say a few things like ‘sometimes I just wish I was a guy, y'know?’

With most of your other friends, you could get away with that. They may be confused, they may side-eye you, but they wouldn't understand and they wouldn't confront you about it.

Nick isn't like that. He'd know, even if he didn't say anything. Better to just rip the bandaid off.

You wait until the others leave the car to pick up their orders. You and Nick stay behind like you always do.

You suck in a breath. Talking to Nick has always been easy. He's loud, you're loud—you accommodate, build off of each other. The silence feels unnatural in comparison to your usual easy banter.

“I think, um—” Your voice cracks and you cough. A strong start. You had a script but you're forgetting it. “I think I'm… probably not a woman.”

That's it. That's the closest you've gotten—that's all you know. ‘Probably not a woman’. Probably a man, but hey, there were other possibilities, and you just figured this out a few weeks ago so give yourself a break.

Nick is silent a second too long. You start to panic. “Like, I think I'm trans.” Your voice goes up at the end like it's a question.

It's not. You're certain. You made sure you were certain long before you came out.

“Thank you for telling me,” Nick says awkwardly. You nearly laugh; his floundering is oddly soothing. “Do the others—”

“No.” You shake your head. “No one else knows.”

“Oh, wow. Um… how long have you known?”

You think for a moment. “I guess I always have, even if I didn't have the words for it. But I didn't know for sure until a few weeks ago.”

“So… do you have a name picked out?”

You stare at him, confused. You can see the others exiting McDonald’s in the background. “What?”

“I mean,” Nick backpedals, puts up his hands like he's offended you, “Most trans people change their name, and no offense, but you don't don't really have a guy’s name, so I was just wondering—”

“I do, though,” you say. “The nickname you gave me.”

Nick says nothing, just sort of stares at you, and for some reason your face grows hot.

(He really does look good, you think, and wow this is such an inappropriate time to be having that thought.)

Then the others bang on the windows and demand to be let in, and the moment is ruined.

***

It gets worse before it gets better.

You decide not to come out to your parents until you absolutely have to. You do, however, come out to the rest of the friend group, and they're mostly accepting.

But it's not like you press a button and become a man overnight. Word gets around, and though no one says anything to your face, you hear them laugh behind your back. Some of your teachers who had been fine calling you by your nickname beforehand refuse to use it anymore.

You don't let it get to you. You give as good as you get. Still, as always, Nick is your biggest supporter. You don't know what you'd do without him.

***

You stay friends, but you fall out of touch.

It happens. You still text on birthdays, still congratulate him on his channel, still send each other memes on Instagram, but one day you blink and realize you haven't actually seen him in almost a year.

You've been busy. You have your own life, your own friends, but Nick is your best and oldest one. Always has been, and you're hoping always will be. So of course you text “hey, next time you're in Boston we should hang out or smth” and of course he agrees.

You suggest McDonald's, just for old time's sake, but Nick insists you go to an actual restaurant. He picks a more expensive one, and as you're trying to work out a polite way to say “thanks, but I'm way too poor for that”, he texts:

NICK: my treat btw

YOU: nah man you don't have to

YOU: but we might have to go somewhere cheaper sorry

NICK: it’s fine. i'll pay. i probs owe u hundreds from hs still lmao

YOU: true true

YOU: if you're sure

Nick never answers, which you assume means ‘yes’.

You show up almost half an hour early. You brought your wallet and you're prepared to put up a valiant fight for your fair share of the bill, bank account be damned.

You’re also anxious like you havent been since high school, probably. You don't know why. Nick's your friend, after all, even if you've drifted apart a bit. There's nothing to be anxious about.

Nick shows up ten minutes early.

Huh, you think, and then stop thinking.

At least you weren't completely blindsided this time. You knew what Nick looked like from his channel and his Insta, but he’s… different in person.

He’s even better. You don't think you're ugly (not anymore, at least), but you're no supermodel. Nick is, or he could be, definitely.

He hugs you, and when he leans back he looks you up and down and frowns. “You grew.”

You shrug. “Side effect of testosterone.”

“That makes you grow?”

“It can if you start it before twenty.” Your face grows hot. Here Nick is, some airbrushed God, and you're going through second puberty. You have acne. You have the little shitty mustache you used to mock boys for.

You have gained a few inches, though. Now you're about level with Nick’s chin instead of his chest. Makes hugs a bit more awkward.

Nick is still frowning at you. “Are these a side effect, too?” He squeezes your bicep before stepping back.

Your face burns even hotter. “Sort of. I work out.” You flex on instinct, and you swear Nick’s eyes follow the movement with just a little too much heat.

You must be hallucinating.

You expect the dinner to be awkward. And it is, at first, until Nick clears his throat and says, “I have a confession to make.”

You eye him warily. He seems serious. “What is it?”

Nick fidgets, avoiding your eyes. “You know the name I gave you?”

“Yeah?”

“The one that's now your legal name?”

“What about it?”

Nick covers his mouth with his hand. His shoulders shake with silent laughter. “It—” He wheezes. “It was my cousin’s pet turtle’s name!”

You gape.

And just like that, it's like nothing ever changed.

You burst into laughter. “I can't believe it,” you hiss. “And you never told me?”

“I was just listing off names I knew,” he says apologetically. “It could've been worse. You could've been named after my cousin.”

“Oh my god.” You cover your face with your hands. “Is that why Matt and Chris looked at me so weird when I told them?”

Nick starts laughing again. “Yeah. I'm sorry, man.”

You uncover your face and sigh, shaking your head. “Where are they, anyways?” You ask. “I thought they'd come with you.” Though now that you thought about it, Nick never said ‘we’ in his texts, only ‘I’. Huh.

“They wanted to say hi,” Nick says apologetically. “I made them stay home.”

“Why?”

To your surprise, Nick goes red.

It all clicks into place. The fancy restaurant. Nick’s insistence on paying. The fucking bicep squeeze.

You smile and lean forward. “Nick Sturniolo,” you say. “Is this a date?”

Nick, to his credit, recovers quickly. “If you want it to be,” he says softly. He actually meets your eyes and everything.

You meet his, too.

“I do.”

#nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo x male!reader #nick sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo x ftm!reader

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shadamyheadcanons · 2 months

Note

Do you have any ideas for how Shadow and Amy’s relationship would change if Sonic had managed to get Shadow back on the ark in SA2? I’m working on my own little self-indulgent fic myself, but I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

Interesting thought! See, this is a tricky one for me because they canonically act like his brush with death never happened, which is super weird.

There should have been a scene on the ARK where Amy was really upset and possibly even cried after it happened, maybe blaming herself for encouraging him.

There should have been a scene in Sonic Heroes where she latched onto him and gushed about how relieved she was to see him alive while he just stared at her like “???” because he still had amnesia.

She should have been the one to reach out and befriend him, and he should have accepted; not only does she remind him of his late best friend, but she’s seen him at his most murderous and still supported him unconditionally.

She should be even clingier with him than she is with her other friends after what happened. She should have been right with him all throughout Shadow the Hedgehog (2005), guiding him and keeping an eye on him the way one would expect given her personality.

And...maybe this is controversial, buuuuut...it’s always felt a little arbitrary to me that he wound up spending a ton of time with Rouge and Omega and basically none with Amy.

I’m not saying I have a problem with Team Dark. I adore their dynamic and I’m glad he has them, but it kind of feels like they just happened to be there. Sure, he got along with Rouge alright for much of SA2, but she seriously hurt him by spying on him--something she’s never apologized for, as far as I know--and she left him behind to help the others get to the Cannon’s Core.

And that, I think, is where the biggest difference would be.

Shadow isn’t the forgiving type. By the time he’d regained his memories in canon and remembered how she’d betrayed his trust, she’d proven in the interim that she’s ultimately a good and loyal friend. If she hadn’t had that chance, I don’t think she could’ve gotten her foot in the door so easily. And if Shadow hadn’t fallen, he wouldn’t have been picked up by Eggman, so he wouldn’t have met Omega. In fact, I’d go even further than that. Team Dark’s opening cutscene in Sonic Heroes implies that Omega’s there strictly to guard Shadow. Not only that, but I’ve always gotten the impression that that’s why Omega was created in the first place. Mephiles all but confirms this in Sonic 06 by pointing out Omega is perfectly built to defeat and capture Shadow.

“This only proves you were created to stop Shadow, the ultimate life form. Don’t tell you didn’t know.”

So Omega would probably never have been built, at least not in his current form :(

With our favorite murder robot out of the picture and Shadow not trusting Rouge, Team Dark would be kaput, and Shadow really needs someone who’ll reach out to him.

And we all know it would be Amy, right?

It’s not even conjecture. In Sonic Battle, she eagerly seeks him out, even getting irritated when Rouge keeps her away:

On top of that, Amy latches onto Shadow because he’s a hero. I’ve pointed this out before, but the second Shadow becomes the protagonist in ShTH, she’s smitten with him...

...and the same happens in IDW issue 59:

And we can’t leave out The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog:

The social media team gets it.

She’s got a subtle little crush on him already imo even with the few interactions they have. If Amy spent lots of time with Shadow, that little crush could grow to rival another crush of hers ;)

As for Shadow, if she’d reached out to him right away without the time gap from his amnesia, I think his feelings for her--romantic or otherwise--would have been fostered and allowed to grow, fueled by his gratitude. She changed his entire life and would have introduced positivity and companionship into his world. You can’t not feel strongly about someone who does that for you.

Fandom-wise, Shadamy is already extremely popular considering how little time they’ve spent together in canon. It’s the third most popular game ship on AO3, only beaten by Sonamy and Sonadow.

There are more fics for Shadamy than Knuxouge. That’s kind of ridiculous, right?! Shadow and Amy have maybe ten minutes of screentime together! I also think Shadow might have gotten along better with Sonic if he’d gone right from saving the world with him to becoming one of Amy’s favorite people, so I’m willing to bet Sonamyshad would’ve skyrocketed in popularity, too. Not my cup of tea, but I know a lot of other fans like it.

Or...more interestingly...Shadow could’ve been really pissed once he saw up close and personal just how often Sonic ran away from Amy. The Dark Era right after SA2 was when it was worst, too. I imagine Shadow would be furious if he knew the full extent of how badly his favorite hedgehog was being treated. He could have been a godsend for her. You think he’d have put up with this if he’d seen it?

(Tangentially, I think it’s weird that Knuckles was fine with this stuff. I think of him and Amy as sibling-adjacent at times, but sometimes I feel like I have to fudge some details to make it work.)

And how many times did Sonic hurt her or make her cry back in the day?

Shadow’s punched Sonic for less than that. He’s way too loyal to sit there and watch while someone hurts his sweet, kindhearted best friend.

People think of Amy as the clingiest Sonic character, but I 100% believe Shadow rivals her in that respect. I really do. He nearly destroyed the Earth for a friend he knew for less than a year. He latched onto Team Dark like a security blanket the second he was dropped on their doorstep. He would have done the same for Amy, and she really could have benefited from that loyalty. Amy lashed out in that era because of frustration and insecurity from being repeatedly snubbed by her favorite person. I honestly think someone stable and steadfast like Shadow was exactly who she needed. He really could have turned her life around and gotten her the respect she deserved, either by standing up for her or proving to her that she deserved better.

And I definitely think he could have dealt with the Black Arms’ invasion much better if he’d had Amy to help guide him through it. She’s reminded him of who he is before. The Miracle of Love ending proves without a doubt that she could do it again.

It would have been great for both of them. I’m sad Sega never let them have that.

Also, Shadow standing up for Amy and later dating her would make this weird scene from Archie #149 absolutely hilarious:

Granted, that applies to shadamy in general.

Ken Penders & Friends: “Ha, wouldn’t it be hilarious if we had Sonic make a skeevy, totally age-appropriate comment in our kids’ comic about Shadow ‘finding a girl?’”

Shadow: “I found Amy Rose”

Sega: “THAT’S NOT FUNNY”

Sonic: “Idk, I think it’s kinda funny :) ”

Penders: “I have never played a Sonic game”

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #not a headcanon #ask #amy rose #onesingularchocolatechip #shadamy

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pottersfia · 1 year

Note

Hello! Just wanted to say I love your work

May i ask for a George Weasley x F!reader?

(They have basically had a crush on eachother for a while but none of them have confessed)

We can say that everyone has their own dorms :)

George and y/n have always had a flirty relationship/friendship, but never done anything. Thats till one night when her, George and friends were playing truth or dare in her dorm.

Angelina dares George to go have 7 minutes in heaven with y/n, they go to the closet. Something “takes over” George and he kisses y/n, he mumbles something like “I’ve been waiting for this for so long” they make out and it gets steamy, but they get interrupted by Angelina when it’s been over 7 minutes.

During the rest of the game they can’t help but keep making eye contact

After the game, everyone leaves, except George. And you can choose what happened next ;))

If you could add something like dirty talk, some light praise etc that would be wonderful!

If fine if you don’t wanna do it, but if you do thank you hun! I can’t wait to see what you will come up with <3

dare | g.w. x fem!reader

summary: a game of truth or dare gets you and george a bit turned on

warnings/content: praise, oral, slight breeding kink, no condom because fiction

a/n: finally finished this one! i hope you like it :)

word count: 2.2k

"truth or dare?" angelina smiled at george waiting for him to answer.

"truth." he replied.

"boringgg." fred practically yelled at him.

"i've done five dares already freddie." he said.

"but i haven't given you a dare yet." angelina said. george rolled his eyes and you laughed at the interaction.

you were hanging out with angelina, alicia, katie, lee, george, and fred in your room. as the night went one you all decided to play truth or dare

"don't chicken out now georgie." you smiled at him. he looked at you and smiled back. with a sigh he said, "all right then, give me a dare."

everyone else attempted but failed at hiding their laughs.

"what's funny?" he says.

"nothing, don't mind us georgie." lee teased only causing the laughter to increase.

it was basically common knowledge that you and george liked each other. you were long time friends and flirted with each other endlessly but for some reason that friendship line was never crossed anymore than that.

your face heated up from the other's actions but thankfully katie spoke up.

"aw, leave him alone. they're quiet now." katie said.

"you guys are so annoying." you forced a laugh.

"ok, i have a dare." angelina said gaining george's attention again. "i dare you to spend seven minutes in the closet with y/n." she smiled. your eyes widened as you glared at her almost saying 'what are you doing?' without really saying it. she shrugged.

"good one, angie." fred said.

"oh mate, that's like your dream come true." lee said.

"stop exaggerating." he replied.

"you don't dream of being alone in a room with me?" you went back to flirting to hide your slight discomfort. george turned to you. at first not saying anything but who was he to deny being alone with you.

"i know you're just dying to go so why don't we?" he stood up and held out his hand to you. you held it and stood up too, walking towards your closet. of course your friends made their comments.

"don't have too much fun!" alicia exclaimed.

"remember we can hear if you're too loud!" said lee

"use protection!" fred added. george opened the door for you and flicked them all off as they laughed before he closed the door. you turned the lights on and heard angelina say. "the timer starts now!"

you looked up at george and smiled at him. "we don't really have to do anything if you don't want to." you said. his smile back at you made you feel that familiar butterfly feeling you always had around him.

"but do you want to do something?" he asked. you opened your mouth to say something but nothing really came out. you wanted to look away from him but the way he was looking at you, you just couldn't. instead you stepped closer to him. it was quiet besides the muffled noise of voices from outside the door. george knew there were many missed opportunities for him to make a move on you, but here he was, staring at you as you stared back and you looked so good, irresistible in his eyes. the opportunity was right in front of him.

he lifted his hand and rested it on your cheek, his thumb slowly rubbing it. your heart beat quickened and you hoped he didn't feel your face heating up. then suddenly, he leaned in connecting your lips. you were so excited you almost forgot to kiss back, but you relaxed into the kiss as he gently placed his other hand on the other side of your face.

he pulled away but still kept his face close to yours as he whispered, "i've been waiting so long for this." your heartbeat quickened and more butterflies erupted in your stomach. you grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him down to kiss him again.

the energy definitely shifted. your lips were moving in perfect sync and your hands roamed all over each other. george kissed the corner of your mouth, your cheek, jawline, and down to your neck. you let out a soft satisfied moan from the sensation. your hands tangled in his hair and he groaned at the feeling.

"don't get t-too carried away." you said slightly pulling him away from your neck.

"don't want me to mark you?" his voice was right in your ear and you swear you could've melted.

"no, i do but," you pushed his head back to make him look at you, "i wanna kiss you more." he smiled at you.

"whatever you wish." just as you were about to kiss once again, the door opened.

"times up lovebirds." angelina said. your eyes widened as you both turned to look at her. you completely forgot about the others. "oh you two are a mess." she laughed. you furrowed your eyebrows and attempted to adjust yourself, so did george.

"shut up." you said as you walked out to join your friends.

"thanks for the dare, angie." george whispered to angelina as he left the closet behind you. she simply winked at him.

the rest of the game was a struggle to say the least. all you could think about was george and what could've happened had you not been interrupted. the two of you kept making eye contact which you swear wasn't on purpose.

"y/n? are you alright?" katie asked you. you quickly looked up at her realizing you probably zoned out. everyone else was looking at you too which didn't help your embarrassment.

"i'm good i think i'm just a little tired." you forced a smile.

"it is pretty late now isn't it." lee yawned.

"yeah, look at alicia." george pointed at the girl who was laid out on angelina's lap fast asleep.

"i think it's time we leave y/n's room for the night before the rest of us end up like her." angelina laughed. everyone agreed and stood up saying their goodbyes.

"i'm gonna stay back for a bit." george said to fred and lee who were the last ones to leave. fred gave a knowing smile and shrugged.

"i guess that dare did you two good." he said. lee laughed.

"shut up." george smiled.

"goodnight!" you waved to them and they left. "so why'd you wanna stay?" you sat down on your bed with your legs crossed and smiled at the boy. he faced you and walked closer to the end of the bed where you sat.

"i just felt like we weren't quite finished with what we started." he said.

"i agree." you repositioned yourself so you were on your knees making your face closer to his. you placed your hands around his shoulders and his fell to your waist. he pulled you closer and once again you found yourself making out with george weasley.

the kiss was soft and passionate. he gently adds his tongue more, slipping it into your mouth. you follow along with his movements as your whole body feels like it's buzzing. suddenly, you get an idea. you peck the boy once more and slightly part away from him with a smile and move your head down but he stops you by lifting your head to look at him with his fingers.

"you're so gorgeous, y/n. the prettiest girl ever." his voice was just above a whisper and you felt your face burn up as you grew practically speechless.

"t-thank you. you're uh," you looked him up and down. his hair was a mess by now thanks to you, his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were burning into you. you managed to catch your breath as you continued, "you're the prettiest boy i've ever seen." you went back down to place a kiss on his neck. "can i mark you up, pretty boy?" you looked up at him through your eyelashes making the boy even more flustered if that was possible.

"yes please." he nodded. you did your best work on him. kissing all over his skin and eventually taking his shirt off. you switched your focus from his neck to his chest. your hands roamed down his torso and when you felt him clench at your touch, you groped his bulge. "is this ok?" you asked. george looked down at you.

"more than ok. you're doing so good for me." he moaned out. you were more than satisfied with his answer and began to pull his pants down. he helped and kicked them off to the side. george then moved his hands to the bottom of your shirt and pulled it off, leaving you in your bralette. he played with your tits softly squeezing them. he leaned down and kissed your soft skin. you pulled off your bralette and shorts after that leaving you both in your underwear.

"love your body so much. so beautiful." he mumbled as he kissed your nipples. he pushed you down making you lay on your back and hovered over you. he kissed down your body and went straight to your thighs, rubbing the soft skin on your torso with his hands as he kissed your inner thighs. your breath hitched as he kissed you over your underwear. he pulled them off and almost moaned out loud from how wet you were.

"you're so wet for me, sweetheart." he gently rubbed circles on your clit making you softly whine.

"i need you so bad." you breathed out. george looked up at you as he replaced his fingers with his mouth, his tongue making you feel amazing.

you whimpered and moaned from the sensation, gripping his hair as the pressure in your core built up. his tongue went up and down on your clit and you begged him not to stop. his hands squeezed your thighs, the boy was practically in heaven. he felt everytime you made those pretty noises for him or gripped his hair harder out of pleasure and it went straight to is dick.

you started moving more against is face and your moans got higher as you got closer. george noticed and made sure to watch your face as you came on his tongue. he didn’t move until you pulled him away from the over stimulation.

“you did so good, y/n, cumming all over my face.” he kissed right under your bellybutton and moved up to kiss you. you kissed back eagerly.

“let me return the favor?” you began to pull down his underwear and he nodded, helping and kicking them off. you switched positions with george leaning against the headboard and you between his legs. the boy was throbbing. he was already rock hard from eating you out and seeing you between his legs about to suck him off only made it worse.

“let me guide you.” he put his back on the back of your head and you looked up at him replying with a small “okay.”

“stick your tongue out.” he said and you did so. he guided your head down making you lick up the underside of his cock causing him to moan. “open that pretty mouth of yours.” he says and you do making his cock go in your mouth. you swirl your tongue on his tip and move your head up and down. “yeah, that’s a good girl.” he lets out a soft whimper getting you even more wet. you stroke the part of him your mouth can’t reach. you look up to see his face, his mouth is slightly open and his forehead is shiny as his chest quickly moves up and down. the eye contact from you kills him.

“get up, i have to fuck you right now.” he says. you move your head off him and smile. he begins to move but you stop him.

“let me ride you.” his eyes light up and he sits back down watching you climb onto him. you kiss his cheek and grab his cock lining him up with your entrance. as the tip goes in you sink down on him making you both moan out. you lean your head into his shoulder and he rubs your back gently. “you feel so good, love. so warm and tight.” he whispers in your ear. his voice just makes you whine even more. you slowly move your hips and he helps your movements with his hands. you move your head up and holding onto his shoulders you look at him, moving faster.

“oh, just like that. s-so good.” he closes his eyes leaning his head back.

“cum for me, georgie. please, i need it.” you moan. he nods his head. his eyes open and his arm wraps around your torso pulling your body closer to his. he attaches his mouth to your tits and moves you up and down with his arm. you close your eyes taking in the feeling of him filling you up while stimulating your nipples. you reach down and rub your clit.

“mmm, i’m gonna cum,” george whispered.

“fuck your cum in me.” you whisper back. he lets out high pitched “fuck”s as he finally cums in your pussy. you don’t stop moving or touching yourself until you cum too. you stop to catch your breath and lean on him. your chests are heaving as you feel eachother’s heartbeat against your chests.

“you did so good y/n. that felt amazing.” george kissed your forehead making you smile. you leaned up to look at the boy and connected your lips once again.

#george weasley smut #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x you #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x hufflepuff!reader #george weasley x ravenclaw!reader #george weasley x slytherin!reader #george weasley x fem #george weasley fluff

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hollowwrites · 9 months

Text

How Charming

Ominis x MC

Summary - I want more interaction between Ominis and MC damn it!! This has made me want to rewrite the Hogsmeade quest to which I’m already doing for Garreth so…throw Ominis in there too. Let Ominis get slapped around by a troll.

This is just pure Ominis in denial. I like to think the reason he’s distant is because he doesn’t know how to feel towards MC.

And I have plans to rewrite the Undercroft argument too so that’ll be fun.

Warnings: None just a rewrite, feel free to change Evelyn to MC or Y/N

Word Count - 1604

“Time for a proper Hogwarts Welcome”

Oh for heavens sake

Ominis heard the low chuckle from Sebastian as he took up his duelling position against the new girl.

He’d heard him sound like that before. He spoke to Imelda like it sometimes when he was feeling brave and every single time, Ominis cringed.

Usually, he didn’t care. The thought that perhaps he’d have been better off born deaf instead of blind passed through his mind but other than that, it’s just Sebastian being his usual irritatingly charming self.

But something about this duel made Ominis’ teeth itch.

The sounds of exertion from the two of them helped Ominis keep track of what was happening. His wand alerted him to their basics movements across the raised plinth. She was graceful. And deliberate. Impressive considering she’s never been around magic.

He listened to her cast Levioso confidently and accurate, not ten minutes after she had learned the spell even existed.

Remarkable.

“Good Form” Sebastian purred, and Ominis rolled his eyes.

Even in the middle of a duel.

“I know” she retorted, cockily and he heard Sebastian gasp at her brash behaviour.

Not nice is it, Sebastian

Ominis found himself rooting for her. He heard her effortlessly lift Sebastian off the ground for the fifth time, followed by a thud and the sound of air being forced from Sebastian’s lungs. Ominis chuckled.

Sebastian walked back over to Ominis with his tail between his legs.

“Did you see that?” Sebastian asked in a hushed voice as they stood at the back of the class

“Surprisingly Sebastian, I did not” Ominis waved a hand in front of his face. Merlin, how does your best friend forget you’re blind?

“You know what I mean! That was definitely not her first duel…” Sebastian spat as he stared daggers towards Evelyn “…and I thought she was so sweet in the Common Room”

“She is” Ominis answered far too quickly. He could feel Sebastian smirking beside him, but decided to ignore it “She survived a dragon attack on her way here, she must know something even if it’s just the basics”

Sebastian mumbled next to Ominis about how it would take more than basics to best him and how he almost certainly held back so as not to crush her spirit.

Ominis didn’t listen.

“If you want to get the most out of your time at Hogwarts you’re going to need to break the rules now and then” Sebastian had pulled Evelyn aside at the end of class to discuss something with her. She listen intently as he playfully jabbed at her abilities. “Whether it joining a secret duelling club or sneaking into The Restricted Section of the Library-“ he looked at her with a smug smile and a glint of mischief in his eye. “You just have to be clever enough not to get caught”

“And you’re clever enough?” She looked him up and down with an eyebrow raised “Thank you Sebastian I’ll keep that in mind”

“Good, I-“ Sebastian started before she spied Ominis leaving the classroom

“Sorry Sebastian, have to go. See you later” She bounced happily away towards the door.

“Look for Lucan Brattleby near the Clock Tower Entrance” Sebastian called to her as she waved back at him.

What was that about?

“Ominis!” Evelyn called out past the little sea of students filing out of the classroom. He stopped and turned towards her voice.

“Evelyn? Am I remembering correctly?” he asked as she skipped up to him.

“Yes, I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer of showing me around the castle. This charm doesn’t work as well as Fig thinks” she stared down at the field guide in her hands and watched as the tiny golden spark bounced from her pages and behind her, leading her back into The DADA Classroom.

“Of course. The lesson being cut short leaves me with some time before Charms”

“Oh you have Charms too? Ah, how charming……oh I understand Sebastian’s joke now!” She felt stupid as she recalled her earlier conversation in the Common Room. Ominis chuckled. He had a pompous laugh but it was sweet and endearing in its own way. She found herself smiling up at him as he laughed at her.

“I do” he smiled and took a step to the side gesturing for her to walk along side him. “Follow me”

“So…As you know, I am unfamiliar with a lot of the things in this world” Ominis could hear her fumbling with the cuffs of her robes as they walked together “Charms, Spells, Dragons…I don’t know what is normal and what isn’t…”

Where is she going with this?

“…And in the muggle world…” she said the word as though she was trying it on for the first time “…there are people whose eyes glaze over when they’re blind for a while so I guess I was-“

“Are you trying to ask me if I’m blind?” He says, his voice heavy with amusement

“Yes…in as tactful way as I possibly can” he could feel the awkward way she was walking and it made him chuckle.

“Yes I am blind” He tries to hold his tongue from making a smarmy remark. After all, she was trying so hard not to be rude about it, even though he knows it is obvious he is blind….But she’s right. Maybe these eyes were commonplace in the Wizarding World…they aren’t but she isn’t to know that “My wand helps me navigate around the castle”

“Fascinating” She says peeking at his wand. She had wandered why he took it out when they started walking. After all he was perfectly content in the Common Room. No wand in sight…She leaned in towards the blinking tip of the wand and he flinched “Oh I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry.” Ominis could feel his face getting warm. The heat rising from his collar caused him to rub the back of his neck, willing the encroaching blush away. “Consider my wand an extension of myself. You just leant…very close to me.” He laughed again “It just startled me is all”

“I’m so sorry”

“Honestly, it’s okay. I’m just not used to people being so near to me”

Why is it so hot in here?

“Oh you’re going to just hate me then. I quite like being close to the people I like…” she gasped “Not like, but you’ve been kind to me so…”

He tried to listen to her babble on. It was endearing. But his mind kept wandering to the increasingly loud voices behind them.

“Look at them sauntering around like the King and Queen of Slytherin!”

“As if she didn’t have enough attention she’s leeching off of Gaunt now”

“Did you see her in Defence Against the Dark Arts? Thinks she’s all that cause Sallow went easy on her”

“Ominis?” Evelyns voice bought him back

“Hmm? I’m sorry I…couldn’t help but overhear some of the students they’re…perhaps it best I not say”

“Talking about me? I’m sort of used to it now. It’s all I could hear in the Common Room” her voice sounded so defeated. Her sadness hit him like a tidal wave.

“You shouldn’t be used to it” he put his hand on her shoulder, bringing them to a stop just outside the Charms classroom. His eyes were sympathetic as he stared down at her.

“Ah there you two are? You look like a right pair”Sebastian said, his voice appearing out of nowhere as he was lost in Evelyns turmoil. Ominis knows him well enough to hear the slight tint of jealousy in his voice.

“How so?” Ominis said his cheeks burning yet again.

This is abnormally warm weather for this time of year

“You’re both have an air of... austerity. No offence, Evelyn, but you did scare me in the Common Room earlier. Your face looked like thunder”

She giggled and Ominis twitched. His face twisted up into a stern frown as he gazed in Sebastians direction.

“You know, if you needed guidance to your next lesson you could have asked me. I know we’ve just had…a rather exhilarating fight but…I won’t hold it against you”

She was giggling again.

“Well Ominis had already offered to show me around earlier” she said and he felt her gravitate slightly towards him. His steely expression calmed to a coy smile.

“Did he now?” Sebastian said. “Well I shall extend you the same offer then. Speaking of, Professor Weasley has asked me to accompany you to Hogsmeade later.”

“Oh…that’s kind of you. She did mention about going with someone, I was going to ask-“

“Excellent. We’ll head out after class. Maybe some time in the afternoon?”

The students all filed into the classroom when Professor Ronen showed. As they took their seats, Evelyn was called away, leaving Ominis a short period of time to chastise Sebastian before class started.

“What are you doing?!” Ominis spat

“I can assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about” Sebastian said honestly.

“You…ugh…” Ominis realised at this point he was overreacting, but he’d already started his tirade. He couldn’t exactly explain why he was angry. Just that the moment Sebastian turned up, his mood had changed. “Smart little remarks in the duel, offering to show her around the Castle AND to Hogsmeade”

“I’m just being friendly” He said, sounding distinctly pleased with himself

“You know exactly what you’re doing”

“Why does it matter? I- Merlin’s Beard! Are you jealous?”

“Don’t be ridiculous” Ominis snapped, that blush rising from his collar again

“Godrics heart…I have never seen you jealous before”

“I am not jealous”

Oh gods, What if I am?

Masterlist

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alwritey-aphrodite · 7 months

Text

From Friends To This

Chapter 7 of There’s Nothing Like This

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!footballer!reader

Warnings: none :)

Word Count: 2.3k

Author’s Note: just one more chapter…

After your realization, you spend the rest of your night spiraling, despite your many attempts to relax. As you watched TV, as you got ready for bed, as you tried to fall asleep, all you could think about was Jamie; what he was doing, what he was thinking, what his reaction would be if you ever told him.

Would you even be able to tell him?

You can’t remember the last time you’ve felt like this, can’t even imagine ever feeling this way towards anyone, but Jamie is so important to you as a friend, you can’t imagine not having him in your life because obviously he would never speak to you again if you said you loved him. Staring at your ceiling, you resolve to bottle up your feelings until they disappear or you die, and you finally fall into a restless sleep.

Most of your Sunday is spent trying to forget about the day before, about your realization and the terror that ensued, but it seems like no matter what you do, the universe keeps reminding you of the thoughts you’d rather bury. Every movie playing on TV is a romantic comedy, and when you go on your phone to escape, you’re met with texts and Instagram posts from the very person you were hoping to avoid. It isn’t fair to ignore Jamie, though, because as far as he knows, you’re still two friends who have no romantic feelings for each other.

It hurts you, though, when you’re typing out your responses and acting like everything’s alright, because you know you could never live like this, couldn’t survive the stabbing pain in your heart whenever you see or hear or think about Jamie. Despite your resolution from last night to bottle up your feelings until you die, you know you need to tell Jamie sooner rather than later, to bring you both some peace.

Jamie’s a good guy, and he’s nothing like what you’d thought he’d be like, so all you can do is hope that he’ll take your confession with a smile and a laugh and then you can go back to being friends and pretend like nothing ever happened and hopefully your feelings for him will just evaporate with time, even though you’re pretty sure you fall more in love with him whenever you think of him.

After a restless Sunday and another night of anxious sleep, you’re irritated Monday morning by every single thing that happens to you. Your bed doesn’t look quite right even after you make and remake it, you can’t find one of your socks, you forgot to wash your favorite water bottle, and you’re all out of basically everything you could want to eat, so when you hear a knock on the door, you’re just about ready to scream.

“You should start locking this,” Mackie says as she enters your house without waiting for you to open the door and suddenly everything seems a little bit better, “you look like shit.” Coming from anyone else, that comment would probably make you burst into tears and lock yourself away in your bedroom for the foreseeable future, but knowing Mackie, it’s just her way of asking if you’re alright.

And, honestly, she’s probably right, you haven’t been sleeping so you’re sure there are prominent bags under your eyes and you’re all anxious and annoyed, so it’s not like you’re giving off an aura of relaxation. You don’t respond to her, instead filling up your sub-par water bottle and grabbing your bag from the counter, sure that someone has a protein bar or fruit that you could steal for breakfast when you make it to the Dog Track.

“What’s up with you?” Mackie asks before you can leave, situating herself in front of your door even though she’s the one with the car keys.

“Nothings up with me,” you reply and you know you sound defensive but you can’t help it, you’re not in the mood to talk about your feelings. You’ve forgotten that Mackie knows you so well, you don’t even need to tell her anything.

“So you’ve figured it out,” she says with a knowing little smirk that would irritate you if it was coming from anyone else.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” and you busy yourself with taking a long sip from your water bottle, signaling that the conversation is over and you don’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Jamie’s in love with you,” a little water dribbles out of your mouth in shock, and you’re surprised you didn’t fully spray Mackie with your mouth full of water at her casual tone of such a heavy statement.

“He’s not in love with me,” you scoff, trying to fight your way around Mackie to get outside because suddenly the air in your house is suffocating.

“Are you blind? He’s totally in love with you, he’s always looking at you with those big puppy dog eyes and I always catch him searching for you whenever the team walks past him,”

“How do you know he’s even searching for me?” You’re not sure why, but you’re desperate for Mackie to be wrong.

“Because his whole face lights up whenever he sees you,” catching a glance at the time on her phone, Mackie turns to leave, but not before saying, “you should talk to him about it,” clearly intending to leave this conversation at your house and not carrying it over to the car.

Despite your earlier resolve, now your hands are all sweaty and your mouth is dry at the prospect of even seeing Jamie, let alone talking to him and confessing your love. Mackie had given you false hope, hope that maybe instead of laughing and things going back to normal, you and Jamie could be something more, and now that that idea is swirling around in your brain, you think it’ll crush you when it never happens.

The drive is spent chatting idly, asking about each other’s weekends as if Mackie didn’t just turn your whole world upside down. You hate the way she smirks when you say you and Jamie had dinner together, as if you and her have never gone out to a restaurant together or ordered takeout to eat on the couch. It makes your heart beat a little faster, makes your brain spiral and spiral because if everyone else can see it, maybe there really can be something more.

Walking into Nelson Road, you bump into Sam and Jamie, who’re leaving from an early morning training session.

“Are you ready for your last game on Saturday?” Sam asks and then pays no attention to Mackie’s answer as he’s too busy glancing at you and then Jamie and then back again. Eventually, though, he tunes back in, and gives you one of his hundred-watt smiles.

Continuing on, you pretend like you can’t feel Sam’s eyes on the back of your head and you ignore the looks Mackie sends you as soon as Jamie’s behind you.

“Can we act like adults, maybe?” You turn to her before entering the dressing room, stopping the witty remark you knew was coming. In fact, her mouth was already open, but she makes a show of snapping it shut and locking it with an imaginary key.

All throughout training, it’s like everyone’s staring at you and whispering behind your back, bringing up feelings of being friendless and alone on the playground, kicking a soccer ball against a wall because no one wanted to play with you. It makes you feel jittery and nervous, and you can barely focus on running drills. You wonder how everyone else seems to be doing perfectly fine with multitasking, training and making you feel like a bug under a microscope.

Back in the dressing room, you turn to your locker to change out of your sweaty clothes when you can feel 40 eyes boring into the back of your skull, and you just can’t take it anymore.

“What is everyone’s problem?” You ask, turning around at lightning speed and watching as your teammates jump. At least they have the sense to look embarrassed, but you aren’t sure if it’s because of their actions or because they were caught. “We have the biggest match of our lives on Saturday and you all seem to be more concerned with whispering about me than training.”

They squirm, and you feel a little bad for them, but as their captain, you need to get to the bottom of whatever’s happening before Saturday because if you’re not playing like a unit then, everything you’ve worked for is worthless.

“We just want you to be happy,” Elena says, talking to you like you’re a small child throwing a tantrum or a frightened animal.

“Then leave me alone and focus on training,” you spit, feeling like a caged animal and you’re sick of it.

Elena, though, knows you too well to let you off the hook so easily, and continues to act as spokeswoman of the group.

“C’mon, we all see it, and you clearly seem a little preoccupied today,” she says with a knowing head tilt, complete with a little smile you find infuriatingly adorable, “just talk to him.”

Now it’s your turn to squirm, uncomfortable with how clearly everyone can see something that you can’t. You wonder if they’ve thought you were lying every time you’d adamantly declared that you were just friends, even though your revelation only came a few days ago. It’s also a little embarrassing how no one needs to say his name, that’s how obvious it’s been to everyone but you that there was something else going on.

“Fine,” you declare, finally cracking a small smile, “I’ll talk to him, just so you guys get off my back.” Your teammates cheer, and you can’t help but laugh at how absurd the whole situation was. Hopefully now they can focus on preparing for Saturday’s match, and after you decide how you’ll talk to Jamie, you’ll be able to spend all your energy getting ready as well.

Changing as quick as you can and turning down both a shower in the locker room and a ride from Mackie, you start your walk home, needing time to clear your head and think of a plan, knowing that if you at least have some idea of what you want to say you won’t make a total fool of yourself in front of Jamie. During your walk, you think over and over how best to confess your feelings to Jamie, and coming up with nothing, you decide to take an extra long shower because that’s where you do your best thinking.

All of that goes down the drain, though, when you see a familiar car parked in your driveway.

“Jamie?” You ask, seeing the man in question sitting on your front step, fiddling with his hands and looking shocked at your arrival.

“Uh, yeah, hey, hi,” he stands, tucking his hands in his pockets and looking more nervous than you’ve ever seen him, “I was wondering if we could talk for a minute.”

Unsure of what he could mean, you nod anyway, moving around him to unlock your front door and gesturing for him to follow you inside.

“Want tea or coffee or something?” You ask, heading into the kitchen mostly so you have something to do, so you don’t think too hard about what’s going on and freak yourself out.

“No, thank you,” Jamie sits himself at your kitchen table as you turn on the kettle, even though you aren’t really in the mood for tea, you have so much energy flowing through you that it needs an outlet.

“What did you wanna talk about?” You ask, head buried in your cupboard as you look for a box of tea, even though you know there’s one on the counter.

“Are you gonna sit?” Jamie asks instead of answering, “I kinda wanted to talk face to face, yeah?”

Sighing, knowing he’s right and knowing you can’t keep stalling anymore, you turn off the kettle and take a seat across from Jamie, the weight of his gaze on you making something painful and wonderful bloom in your chest. A few more seconds of silence pass by before Jamie clears his throat and shifts in his seat.

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it, yeah?” He takes a breath, as if whatever he’s about to say is physically strenuous, and then it all tumbles out. “I think I’m in love with you, which I know is weird ‘cause we’re mates and all and I can’t really remember when I realized it so maybe I’ve always been in love with ya, but I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable or mean we can’t be friends or anything like that.”

It’s silent again, and you’re soaking in everything Jamie just said but he clearly takes your silence to mean something else.

“Just thought you should know,” he says quietly and he stands, looking a little like a kicked puppy.

“Jamie, hang on,” you stand and follow him to the door, desperate to not let this opportunity slip through your fingers, “you can’t just say all that and expect me to respond right away.” You chastise him, but you’re smiling, unable to keep your joy and relief off your face.

It’s almost impossible to come up with anything else to say, you’re so overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts swirling through your head, but you know Jamie deserves a response after he’d poured his heart out to you. Instead of speaking, though, you do the next best thing and place your hands on the side of his jaw, pulling him towards you while giving him time to pull away.

He doesn’t, instead wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you even closer, and then you’re kissing and it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of. He’s so perfect and he’s all you can think about, your senses and your mind becoming overwhelmed with him. It doesn’t matter, though, because for once in your life you can ignore your brain and focus on the moment, focus on Jamie and his hands and the gentle way he kisses you, like you might disappear.

You grip him harder, sure your nails are leaving little indents in his skin but needing him to know that you aren’t going anyway.

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