#it's like a kick in the teeth but i mean like it's a horror season so like i should expect this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glacierclear · 8 months

Text

ISN'T BITE ALSO TOUCH? part ii.

fuckboy!leon x gn!reader

content: hurt/some comfort, angst, apologies, reader is sad, brief intrusive thoughts, mentions of alcohol

The seasons change. You can only hope he will, too.

[ao3 link]

…and you didn’t see him for three months.

The shifting grace of Autumn gave way to ice. A once verdant campus green now muddled under gray snow, crunched with grit and soot. Passerbys did not linger. Bundled under layered coats and coiled up scarves, students hastily searched for warmth, leaving the sidewalks barren and lonely.

You relied on consistent distraction. School work that numbed your fingers. A fleeting, creative hobby that lasted all of a week. Outings with peers who’d never consider you a friend. None of it seemed to fix you.

And God, you missed him. More than anything in the world.

But the words looped in your head. The stinging from that night boiled into agony.

I don’t fucking need you.

He didn’t mean it. You knew better than to take his venom at face value. But it nurtured the foulest parts of yourself. Self-loathing feasted like a gluttonous beast, growing fat on the careless anger of his beer-fueled tantrum. Because if there was even the slightest chance of it being true…what had it all been for?

Were you truly just a warm body he used for shallow company? Is it possible you were just as disposable as all the rest?

But those thoughts were never allowed to mature. You snipped the buds and opened another lecture video, paralyzing any hint of an emotional response.

Sometimes you’d see him. In the distance, hovering at the edge of his usual crowd, smiling. Once or twice you even made eye contact, but he’d break it within the first moment, as if he had seen nothing but a fly among trash. It’s on those days that you cried. Cried and cried, until all that remained was bitter apathy.

Angrily, you wished he felt the same. You wanted him to break. You wanted him to regret every moment of that night from the instant his eyes opened that morning. You wanted him lost and abandoned and miserable, just like you.

And, truly, it only confirmed your worst fear. If you were always this hateful beneath it all, he never really needed you.

December bit frost under the brittle edges of your fingernails, and you conquered every day with the determination of an undying plague. Christmas was only a week away, and if you could just make it to the holidays, maybe you’d finally start to heal. There’s catharsis in the new year, meaningless or not. It might’ve been what you needed to forget everything. To forget him.

You trudged back home, your evening class wrapped up and concluded for the day. Friday used to mean something. It meant a weekend with Leon. Drunk, covered in gummy worms, squealing at some god-awful horror movie he rented just to get you to hold him. He used to wrap an arm around you, hugging you tight, promising to the moon and the stars he’d keep you safe from anything.

It was hard to take him seriously with popcorn in his teeth, but now you found yourself fantasizing the memory with teary eyes, although it’s probably just the cold weather.

With rosy cheeks and a dripping nose, you turned your key into the lock, kicking open your door with a disgruntled shove. It was dark. Your roommate left for the holiday early, leaving your dorm hollow and unwelcoming. You hovered in the common area, letting the mask you wore crumble off piece by piece.

Friday used to mean something. Now all you did was rot. You stepped over towards your half of the flat, reaching forward on instinct before a reactionary tug gave you pause. Your door was closed. It wasn’t when you left for class.

You listened, straining to hear beyond the chipped oak, but you received nothing. With a dry mouth, you closed your fingers around the knob, twisting, pushing your way in.

What awaited you inside nearly sent you to the floor.

He sat cross-legged by the bed, curled up on your little, brown rug. All you could see was his back, and the gaudy, expensive headphones clamped shut over his head. His head nodded gently to a beat you could barely make out, and he thumbed slowly through a book yanked off your shelf. It wasn’t the careless flipping of empty words, but the patient turning of pages of someone actually reading.

He never read around anyone but you.

You crept closer, letting your backpack drop to the ground like a lead weight, crashing and jolting Leon out of whatever paragraph he was enjoying. He batted the headphones off his ears, swirling to gape at you with wide, fearful eyes. His eyes.

Your favorite shade of blue.

“Jesus! Scared the fucking shit out of me–” He pressed a palm to his temple, panic easily bleeding away, but in its place you saw him tense, awaiting your anger.

“I scared you? You…how’d you even…did you break into my room?” You met him with accusation, though all you wanted was to hold him.

“...I mean, yeah. Duh. Not like you’d ever let me in willingly.” The dismissive tone of his voice riled you up more than you’d care to admit, and you stepped closer.

“Of course you’d stoop to this instead of just asking. What the hell is wrong with you?” The seasonal chill you felt walking home has all but melted completely. You were a live wire. “How’d you even get in here?”

“Come on. You know I bribe the janitor. We’re bros, me and Jeff.” He donned a cocky smirk.

“Oh, well, that’s great. I’m so happy for you, Leon. Now get the fuck out.” You vaguely gestured towards the exit, glowering down at him with an impatient scowl.

Leon’s smirk dropped. He set down the book, standing to his full height. You forgot how much taller than you he was.

“...no. I’m not leaving. Not this time.” His face hardened into a devastating intensity, prying out your seams one by one. “We need to talk. I need to…fix this.” You watched him flail his hands a bit, attempting to sculpt form to whatever this was.

You knew it would never be enough. No apology or heartfelt confession would repair the damage carved from three months of absence after the worst night of your life.

But you’ve always had shitty taste in guys, and he was the shittiest. You missed him more than anything in the world.

“Fine. Speak.” You settled on an impartial response, arms folded across your midsection. “But I’m really not in the mood for bullshit, Leon. I’m not.”

“I know,” he hung his head. “I know. I…” You were kind enough to grant him patience. The time you knew he’d need. Emotionally stunted didn’t even come close to describing Leon, and any effort on his part to offer honesty is effort you needed to encourage, in your own quiet way.

“I fucked up, okay? I really fucked up. Just like I always do and–” You noticed him halt, sucking at his teeth and wincing as if cinched with pain. “No. I’m not…fuck, listen. I’m not trying to like, make you feel bad for me I just…I always do this. I do, and you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

The words came out stuttered and unsure, as if the mere concept of an apology churned the acid in his gut. And maybe it did. What little you knew of his childhood easily explained his behavior. A blood-red thread woven into his heart like stripes on a cobra.

You nodded, coaxing him to continue. You would not shelter him with yielding platitudes.

“...all that shit I said…I was…god, I was scared. Do you realize what the hell you are? What, fuck, what you mean to me? The most fucking important person in my life and I thought I was gonna lose you over a shitty party.” He was too frustrated to look you in the eyes anymore. You felt cold again. “And you’re right. About all of it. I made you go and I ditched you and then I blamed you for – fuck, and then I didn’t have the balls to do anything for two months–”

“Three months.” You interjected, your lips a thin line, the ice he walked on.

“Three…three months? Jesus, I didn’t…” Leon ran a trembling palm through his hair, wrestling his own relationship with time. “Has it really been that long?”

You nodded.

“...I’ve been a mess. I…my grades are tanking, man, and I can’t even eat.”

Against your will, you deflated with a sad sigh. He did seem skinnier. His face sunken in. His body looked frail under his sweatshirt. You wondered if any of his other friends had noticed.

“You shouldn’t forgive me. I’m not really like, expecting you to. But I…I’m…” The word dangled off his tongue, the teetering step into territory unknown. “I’m sorry.”

For the past three months, you dreamed of this moment. Twisted visions of him crawling back to you on his hands and knees, begging for mercy when he deserved nothing of the sort. Over and over again, you extracted pleasure from the possibility of denying him, turning your back and thriving in spite of him.

You were sure the words would feel great. Amazing, even. But hearing them in person, hearing the shriveled warble of a man reduced to his own imitation, you felt nothing.

The silence stretched for miles. Both of you were too hurt to say anything. From the floor, his headphones faded into quiet before transitioning into another song, lyrics incomprehensible from where you stood, mirroring the noise of your own thoughts.

He broke the emptiness with a cough, and scratched his neck.

“...damn, well, I should…I’ll let you enjoy your Friday, I guess. I’m sorry. I really am, I–”

“You said you weren’t leaving.” The words came out without thinking. Leon blinked.

“...what? I–”

“You said. You weren’t leaving. Not this time. Are you really going to break another promise, Leon?” You’re not stupid. You understood your challenge was nothing more than a thinly-veiled plea to get him to stay. You couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your dignity died with the autumn leaves.

“...oh, I was…I didn’t think you’d – yeah. Okay. Yeah, I’m not leaving. Not going anywhere. Swear on it.” Leon puffed his chest a little, the hopeful beginnings of a smile creasing his cheeks. A real smile.

You shuffled closer, breathing in, filling your lungs with mercy.

“Did you really mean what you said, Leon?” It was spoken so softly, and he leaned closer to hear, just as you hoped he would.

He smelled like cedar.

“...what I said?” There’s confusion in his stare, yet he tilted his head, an eagerness to understand.

“When you said you…when you said you didn’t need me. That I was–” Whatever else you were going to say didn’t matter. In an instant, you’re strangled with warmth. Arms latched tight around your chest, your face smashed into the flesh above his heart.

“I need you.” It’s said so easily. And you knew he didn’t need to think twice. “I needed you every day and I will need you every day after today and…every year and…just, so much, man.” Ruefully, you couldn’t help but laugh. Such an indelicate way of speaking. So thoroughly Leon.

Your arms wrapped around his stomach, squeezing with a reluctant pressure. You still couldn’t believe he was real. But here he was.

“Okay. That’s all I needed to hear.” You went slack in his hold, forgoing oxygen in favor of him. He filled your mind and soul, and you never knew you could miss the scent of Irish Spring so much.

“...okay. Is…Is that it? I mean, not that I– shit, are we good? We chill?” He pried you off, cupping your cheeks with burning palms, searching your eyes for safety. Reassurance.

You wanted to give him that. But pretty words and a warm hug were only enough to quiet your demons. They did nothing to heal.

“No, we’re still not friends.” You said finally, staring away, unable to face his reaction.

“Wait, seriously? What…but I–”

“I don’t forgive you, Leon. Not…not yet.” Cautiously, you gripped his wrists, lowering his hands back to his sides. “I missed you. A lot. But it took you three months to tell me all of this. Three. Months.”

“Yeah, but…you’re actually just…gonna leave me forever? For three months?” It’s not anger in his voice, simply the aching desperation of a heart longing for closure. An answer to every question he had.

“Listen, I…we can be friends again, maybe soon, maybe later. I still wanna see you and hang out and stuff, but…it’s gonna take time, okay?” His shoulders sagged. “You have a lot of things you need to work on, and I can’t be the one to fix them. It has to be you, Leon. It has to be different.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him clench his fists. A vein pulsed on his neck, and you braced yourself for the backlash. The brewing storm he hid behind when he was afraid.

But whatever happened the past three months has drained the fight from his body, and he went soft again, his posture slouching.

“I’ll get better. I will. But…can I ask you something? Can I ask you to promise me one thing? Just one?”

You stared at him again. His ocean stirred, but you stayed afloat.

“Sure, Leon.” you whispered.

“...wait for me. Promise me you’ll still be here when I come back. When I’m…when I’m fixed.” He was so close, you could study each twitch and crinkle of his face. All the voiceless ways he loved you. “Will you let me come back to you?”

It wasn’t even a question.

“I promise, Leon.”

And you loved him, too.

#my writing #resident evil #leon kennedy #fuckboy!leon

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yukidragon · 4 months

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So... what do you think of a concept of Jack's Sunshine who is a Magical Girl?

This ask instantly gave me the image of Alice as a magical girl and OMG the potential of that is delicious. Thank you for sharing this plot bunny with me so I can totally run away with it!

The timing is also fitting since I recently watched the Miraculous Ladybug’s latest season ending and special and, uh… I’ve had… thoughts. (Yes, Miraculous Ladybug counts as a magical girl show.)

Before I begin, I want to plug the SnaccPop Studios patreon since it’s almost certain that I’m going to wind up using the magical girl Jack picture Sauce drew at some point in this ramble, and possibly other SDJ art. Please support the team if you can, and remember don't share anything privately posted on the patreon!

I also want to toss out potential content warnings just in case. This post will contain mention of PTSD, child soldiers, body image issues, cheating, toxic relationships, and the general erotic/horror elements that are part of the Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack package. I’m not sure where I’m going to take this, but chances are there’s going to be some spice involving my OTP and some mention of Jack’s yandere obsession and the extremes he’ll go to keep his sunshine.

Remember, this is an 18+ Adults Only fandom! Minors do not interact!

The “Magic” of Childhood

The magical girl genre is iconic, and it’s also been deconstructed in different ways with certain anime like Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Given Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack is, in a way, deconstructing lost media and clown mascots into an eroge horror game, it feels fitting to go with that sort of spirit with this sort of crossover as well.

In this case, sunshine would have probably been someone who was a magical “girl” in their childhood/teen years, as that is usually the age range of magical girls doing their magical shenanigans while they learn life lessons and mature. Whether or not MC was actually a girl during this time period is, of course, up to the individual to decide for their backstory. After all, who cares if the magical girls in the story are actually girls? There are an increasing number of stories about magical boys in this genre, for example, and we all know non-binary folks can go anywhere they darn well please.

Given the tone of the game and MC’s state, I think it would be perfectly fitting if they are still a disillusioned adult who wants to abandon all things nostalgic. In this case, their past magical shenanigans would be included in the childish things that they want to forget. Heck, it’s more reason to want to forget if they felt like their childhood was taken from them because they had to fight monsters in secret all the time in flashy clothes and transformation sequences, even having to go as far as to save the world from utter destruction.

Then of course add in the complication that Ian and his cheating presents on MC’s mental state. Magical girl shows very often have romance as one of the key aspects of the story, the star-crossed lovers of the lead magical girl hopelessly pining over the prince charming of her dreams~ Only, in this case, “Prince Charming” betrayed their “destined romance” by getting horny and sleeping with someone else. Bonus points if these two were reincarnated destined lovers or the like, ala Usagi and Mamoru from Sailor Moon. I mean, wouldn’t that be a kick in the teeth!

In this sort of AU, the romance with Ian and the magical “girl” adventures MC experienced would be heavily tied to their childhood and teenage years. In a sense, they both represent the MC’s youth, for good and for ill. In the present day, MC is dealing with the aftermath of the love of their life cheating on them, being isolated and alone, and carrying the baggage of their fight to save the world, which robbed them of their childhood. They’re probably extra exhausted if they still have to occasionally transform and fight monsters even in the present day. They have to juggle adult responsibilities on top of the fate of a world, working a thankless job that doesn’t pay enough with a duty that pays nothing at all. They’d probably be even more of a penny pincher in this AU.

Jack entering into the picture would be a very interesting wrinkle to their life. Given MC has faced a lot of supernatural and magical shenanigans, I imagine they’d be more inclined to believe that, yes, this clown that suddenly appeared one day and insists on being their best friend is real. Now they have another magical mascot in their life, only this one isn’t some cute little talking animal. I mean, heck, they might even be more inclined to just roll with it after having to live with a magical mascot bossing them around for years.

Not that I imagine MC would necessarily let Jack in on their secret identity, especially if they’re trying to leave the magical girl business in the past.

I can imagine Jack would be stunned to learn of MC’s secret double life, especially if he saw them during their flashy magical transformation sequence. Magical girl anime wasn’t really a thing in the US in the early 80’s, so Jack isn’t going to be familiar with the tropes, even if there were some in-universe TV shows about it. (I mean, in Sailor Moon, the Sailor V show was a thing, so even in the magical girl universe there were magical girl shows, so…)

Of course, I have a feeling that most MCs wouldn’t be interested in watching any TV shows based on the fictional or real life exploits of magical girls after growing up living that life. It’d probably be a bit too real for them.

Man, wouldn’t it be awkward if during MC’s teen years, when in the thick of living the life as secret protector of the world, they had a best friend who was absolutely obsessed with the magical girl genre? They have to deal with all the drama of being a magical “girl” and listen to people ramble about it even when off the clock. I can see Ian totally being all over magical girl anime, especially when there are real life examples around.

This gives me the image of MC, sitting in their childhood bedroom with Ian, having to play dumb and smile innocently while Ian gushes about being saved from a monster by a magical “girl” without ever knowing that the person he’s talking about is sitting right next to him. Talk about awkward!

Though it would also be a potential moment for romance. Ian talks up his savior and gushes over how cool they were, and MC gets to feel butterflies at hearing themselves praised so much… even if Ian thinks he’s talking about a different person.

A pity Ian had to taint those sweet memories by cheating, huh?

Back to the present with Jack. Once he finds out his sunshine is going out there battling monsters, saving the world… well, there’s definitely going to be mixed feelings. On the one hand, that’s amazing! It does go to show just how special his sunshine really is. On the other hand, MC is risking their life and possibly getting injured on a regular basis because of this duty of theirs. That’s not even adding in the more unsettling magical girl deconstructions and how that power might come at a cost…

Jack, in general, wants to try and make things easier for MC, and make sure that he is needed by them. Any sort of occupation or secret life they have makes no difference on this fact. However, I think he would want to make sure to reveal that he knows their secret only when the time is right, when he’s sure it’s not going to chase them away from him

So chances are Jack would nudge MC in the direction of wanting to tell him. He’ll show them that they can trust him with any secret, help them with any problem, especially if it’s important to them. He’ll take care of them, no matter what they want to do. He’s there for them… forever.

Until MC lets Jack in on their secret, he could secretly help them. Maybe he can hunt down evil doers and scare those nasty monsters away, maybe even convince the villains to stop creating monsters that put his sunshine at risk. It’s not exactly in character for Sunny Day Jack to want to hurt anyone, but he’s stopping the bad guys! For his sunshine! So they don’t get hurt! The bad guys too dangerous to be allowed to run around hurting people and trying to take away his sunshine by killing or capturing them…

Any sort of magical mascot MC has might wind up interfering with Jack and his plans, or maybe they too will be suckered in by his silver tongue and sweet words. It all depends, really. I imagine with their power, they would be able to see and hear him like MC has, which adds a whole extra dynamic to the relationship.

Hell, Jack could potentially convince the mascot to give him magical powers too, ala this gorgeous piece of art drawn by Sauce.

Look at Jack, all sparkly and magical, with such beautiful colors and design. He’s going to fight for love and his sunshine and triumph over anyone who would dare try to take his sunshine away.

If Jack becomes a magical “girl” too, well, then his sunshine can for sure share their secret with him without worry! It’ll be just the two of them protecting each other and the world. He’ll keep MC safe for sure with his new powers.

And make sure no one takes his sunshine away, even if that means making his magical clothes a little less colorful and a lot more bloody.

Gotta love how Sauce can create such delicious tonal whiplash with their lovely art. Jack makes for a chilling yandere magical girl, don't you think?

Like any good protagonist with magical girl powers, Jack would make sure to protect his sunshine, and even without powers he would want to keep them safe. It doesn’t matter if they have a secret double life. They can share all their burdens with him. No one has to know about their secret identity except for him. It just means their bond is even more special than it already was.

Of course… if MC is keeping Jack at a distance, or interested in someone else, that would create extra conflict. MC would likely be more aware that Jack is an unknown entity and be more wary of him even as they accept his existence and presence in their life as something real. If they choose someone else to pursue romantically, well… that’s a problem for Jack regardless of the universe.

If Jack does manage to get himself some magical girl powers, he might have a whole new arsenal of tools to get rid of his rivals in a magical and flashy way. Heck, if he learns how the bad guys transform people into monsters, he might have a way to get rid of them in a way that is seen as virtuous. There’s all sorts of twisted paths that could be taken with this sort of AU, especially when giving a yandere even more power.

Really, a lot of this depends on the details about the MC’s powers, the mascot they have, what they’re fighting, and if they’re still fighting even as an adult. With that thought in mind, let’s get a little more specific in the way I would personally tackle the idea of Alice being a magical girl.

Magical Girl Alice

The idea of Alice as a magical girl tickles me greatly, especially given the fact that magical girls are always super skinny. I mean, there’s a running joke about the Sailor Moon art style and how long and skinny their legs are. Magical girls don’t tend to appear in plus size unless it’s as the punchline of a joke. It adds a lot of possibilities, and the potential to tackle public perception to the cute stereotypical magical girl archetype.

Needless to say, someone like Alice would have a difficult time as a magical girl for many reasons. She already had a hard enough time being responsible as the oldest child of the King family and taking care of Ian without adding in her duties as a magical warrior for justice.

I can imagine it happening suddenly one day in the typical way these stories usually start, when an entity appeared in the form of a cute rabbit - Honey Bunny.

Yes, I had to use Honey Bunny for the role of magical girl mascot. I mean, who else would fit that role as Alice’s adorable non-human sidekick? In this case, it was a magical entity that took over her puppet and has a similar personality to her SunnyTime Town counterpart. In a way, Alice's issues with speaking were a blessing, as no one looked twice at Alice conversing with her “puppet.” In fact, people were amazed that she had developed some really impressive ventriloquist skills!

Alice has always gone out of her way to help people, just this took that desire to an extreme. As a kid, she was excited to become a hero for justice, and with magical powers to boot. It was so cool to transform into an identity that no one recognized, beating down the wicked monsters and saving innocent people.

Well… in theory. Naturally, the first time Alice actually had to face down a monster born from someone’s negative emotions, it was a lot harder than she thought. The whole magical girl gig was harder than advertised, but Honey Bunny helped her get through it. Besides, she needed to do it. No one else could, and if no one stepped up, the world would be lost.

Alice would have shared her secret with her family, but Honey Bunny always stressed the importance of keeping things a secret. No one must know - not her family and not her best friend Ian, even if he’s crushing on the mysterious magical girl who saved him from the wicked monster his mother had been transformed into one day. If they knew, then the bad guys could find out the truth from exploiting their loved ones’ negative emotions. If that happened then she and everyone she knew was in danger, and the world could be doomed.

Quite a lot of pressure on a kid, don’t you think?

Alice had to learn how to be independent, a lone warrior of justice, taking down bad guys. Sometimes she managed to get help, but it didn’t last forever. Perhaps she did eventually get a superhero team in her teens, which would’ve been a breath of fresh air. She had someone to lean on who understood this destiny that they were burdened with.

It did create this sort of divide between Alice and anyone not part of this magical girl group. This secret and weight on all of them was so big, too heavy. Others couldn’t understand… for the sake of the world.

I was going to say this caused a divide between Alice and Ian, but then I thought of Ian in his bunny costume and, well… Ian would make a cute magical girl, don’t you think?

If Ian was in on this secret double life, it would add more reason for them to cling to each other, especially if it was only the two of them without anyone else to depend on. It’d be like Ladybug and Chat Noir against the world, a whirlwind romance for the ages…

Well… until Ian let it go to his head so that he could get some head.

In typical magical girl story fashion, it took a while before Alice and Ian managed to get in a relationship. There were plenty of near-misses and misunderstandings due to the double life Alice led until Ian joined it. So many outings together had to be canceled at the last minute or interrupted because Alice had to sneak away to save people.

It was the end of high school when Ian got his powers too in a dramatic incident where the world and Alice’s life were hanging in the balance. This is one of those season finale climax moments where everything is on the line and they came a hair’s breadth from everything going horribly, horribly wrong.

Naturally, this made Ian and Alice’s bond, which had been waning due to her double-life, suddenly a whole lot stronger. Trauma bonding is pretty high for young people who need to cling to each other to survive after all…

Alice used her experience to help Ian get used to his role, though he had a much harder time juggling his double life. His mom was a big problem, constantly wanting to know where he was and what he was doing. In the end, he had to give back the powers Honey Bunny gave him because he didn’t see himself as worthy of them anymore. He also just couldn’t handle the pressure, not like Alice could.

Still, the two of them were close because Ian knew Alice’s secret and could help her make excuses to sneak off to save people.

The college era changed everything. The big bad Alice had been fighting for years was finally defeated at long last. She had thematically graduated from being a magical girl. She could finally live a normal life and figure out a dream of her own beyond saving the world.

But… Alice didn’t know what to do. Sure she thought about her future beyond being a magical girl off and on, but fighting to save the world and juggling her personal life with these secrets and lies took up so much of her mental energy. She was exhausted and wound up bouncing around in college.

In typical magical girl story fashion, the protagonist got together with her love interest in the end. Alice and Ian were a couple, so close and in love. With Alice not knowing what to do with this future that was open to infinite possibilities, she let Ian take the lead in guiding their futures, trying to get into acting alongside him.

Of course, much like in the normal universe, Alice got pushback. Though she’s a magical warrior for justice, she’s still chubby. Her physical abilities are better than the average person even in civilian mode, but bodies have a tendency to want to be a particular shape, and for her, that’s bigger than society wants her to be.

Much like in Miraculous Ladybug, Alice has some influence on how she appears when transformed. Will and subconscious desire strongly affect it, as well as creating that special aura that makes people unable to identify the magical girl with the pigtails as the same person as the girl with the same pigtails and hair color who was standing there only a couple minutes before. When Alice first started out, she was more or less herself, but fluffier, more colorful, covered in frills and glitter. She had the young magical girl flare and charm, just plus sized.

Unfortunately, as Alice’s body image issues manifested, getting mocked both by her peers and even enemies, she started subconsciously wanting to be smaller. She saw her ideal self as those skinny magical girls on TV, and it reflected in her transformed mode. It wasn’t an instant change, more like a gradual transition as though the creators behind the series got worried about having a plus sized magical girl and made her gradually slimmer until she looked more “on model” for the genre.

By the time Alice was a teenager, her transformed mode was the typical skimpy, but curvy, magical girl archetype. She didn’t look anything like herself, and there was no chance of mistaking the two of them for the same person. She wanted to look this way in reality, so when she had free time she worked out more and ate less. It was very unhealthy, and Honey Bunny had to work hard to keep her from developing an eating disorder. If Alice wouldn’t take care of herself for her own sake, then she had to do it to have the power to save the world.

The relationship between Honey Bunny and Alice is a deep friendship, but it’s a bit complicated. After all, it was Honey Bunny who guided a child to take on the responsibility of protecting the world. Regardless if there was no other option, it’s still not a burden that should be placed on any one person, let alone a child.

Needless to say, Alice has a lot of baggage from her time as a magical girl and some trauma bonding with Honey Bunny as well. When she finally had a normal life, she had come to accept that she could be loved as she was, not as [insert magical girl superhero name here]. I’m not sure what name I’m going to go with for Alice, but it might be a parody of Sailor Moon’s naming convention or some other magical girl anime’s naming style. I mean, I could call her Sailor Sunshine, but that’s a bit too on the nose. ;3 I’ll have to give it some thought…

What didn’t help Alice’s self-confidence and body image issues was Ian having a crush on her transformed self and gushing about her all the time. Although Ian did have a crush on Alice as well, he couldn’t help but geek out over a real life magical girl, and more than once Alice was made to feel jealous of the persona she crafted that always seemed so much better than herself.

When Ian eventually found out her identity, he was stunned, especially due to how different they looked, but at the same time it made sense to him. He insisted that she was the same person, with or without the flashy costume, and she was just as beautiful either way.

So in the “final season” of this magical girl show, Alice’s transformed self looked a bit chubbier than before - not as full figured as her normal self, but no longer a skinny twig. She better accepted herself a bit more, and she felt loved by Ian both in her transformed state and out. By that point she had grown and become happier with herself.

Which made Ian cheating on her later on with a sexy woman with big boobs and a small waist feel like a huge kick in the crotch.

Alice entered college with Ian full of hope, even if she felt lost for a future outside of being a magical girl. She had a partner who loved her and understood her, and she had the rest of her life to choose whatever she wanted in the world she saved.

It’s just unfortunate that all of the constant battles and running off to fight tanked her grades during high school, which made it harder for her to get into college in the first place. At least Alice could get into community college, even if that meant there was no hope of a scholarship. At least she had Ian by her side.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Though Alice had become a strong warrior for justice, she now suffered from PTSD and had traumatic flashbacks of moments that scarred her deeply, especially when it came to people she couldn’t save. She couldn’t exactly talk about it with anyone, and Ian couldn’t handle the burden. After all, he gave up being a magical girl because it was too much for him, and hearing how hard it was on Alice made him feel guilty, which in turn didn’t help her. Fortunately Alice had years worth of experience in holding it in. When you have to keep secrets in order to prevent the end of the world, you learn how to bottle up a lot of things.

Alice is a much better actor in this universe because of this, and it did help her get further in acting classes despite pushback and at least one teacher warning her about how she would be type casted in unflattering roles due to her body size. Still, at some point she wondered if it really was what she wanted to do. She spent years having all these eyes on her, having to be a commanding presence and play a part…

Despite Ian’s encouragement to keep acting with him, Alice dropped out. Though disappointed, he encouraged her to try and find her own dream. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, but in so many ways she was very, very tired.

Alice’s relationship with Ian wasn’t the happily ever after she thought it would be. Much like in the regular universe, things deteriorated between them, with his cheating being the final straw. Those issues were sharper in this world, unfortunately. Ian felt even more insecure having a partner who was this famous magical girl superhero who saved the world many times over. He felt insignificant compared to Alice at times, like he wasn’t worthy of her, and she could do so much better than someone like him who constantly needed saving… At the same time though… he couldn’t let her go.

The person Ian cheated on Alice with was someone more “on his level,” just a normal person living a normal life who made him feel happy and attractive during a time when he was alone. Long distance relationships are so hard, especially when you’re convincing yourself that you’re always letting your partner down.

Alice didn’t take the confession that Ian cheated well, but she didn’t nearly drink herself to death in this universe. The issue in this world is that the enemy can use your crushing negative emotions against you, so Alice had to learn how to combat those feelings. Often it was by transforming and destroying a few dozen trees in a forest miles away from civilization. When she got all of her energy out, she fled the scene of her destruction and collapsed to the floor of their apartment in tears.

Shaun came by in the midst of her grief, as Ian had called him in a panic to check up on Alice when she wouldn’t pick up the phone for a long time. He was a good shoulder to cry on, and kept her company the entire night until she finally cried herself to sleep.

Of course… the breakup isn’t going to be easy when it comes to superhero identities. Ian proved he can’t be trusted after all by betraying Alice, and she can’t be with someone she can’t trust… but at the same time he knows her secret. It created a lot of tangled up feelings and drama. Ian keeps trying to regain her trust and get back together with her, but she can’t, not with how hurt she is and how much responsibility is on her shoulders.

A new threat could appear at any time. Sometimes unrelated big threats appear, small one-off things. Alice technically can never retire from being a magical girl. It’s part of what made figuring out her future at college difficult.

Honey Bunny, being a magical mascot in charge of keeping up secrecy, used magical means to make Ian forget about Alice’s secret identity and the part he played in the magical girl life. After all, if magical girls have a magical field that makes it so no one can identify them and their civilian persona, even when there’s photographs, then it makes sense there could be different magics to ensure people don’t uncover the secret. I mean, we are talking about the fate of the world after all. That’s pretty serious stuff.

Disillusioned by love, exhausted by her duties, and now only with Honey Bunny to confide in again, Alice feels more alone than ever. She struggles to figure out what she wants in life, knowing that she can’t ever truly stop being a magical girl, not when supernatural forces sometimes crop up to cause trouble… to say nothing of the threat of a potential new villain appearing like the one that forced her to become a magical girl in the first place.

It makes it hard for Alice to feel motivated. Her dreams are murky. She coasts through college, graduating with a general engineering degree just to have something to show for the cost of the classes. She gets a job at Yogurtopia because it at least has flexible hours and Barry at least accepted her excuse that sometimes she’ll have emergencies unexpectedly. He has her work extra hours to make up for those times when she has to cancel at the last minute. Even with a job like this, it feels like she’s hanging by a thread, barely holding on because her boss has decided to offer her leniency. Chances are she won’t get that elsewhere.

Supernatural Ghost(?) Jack

Of course, it’s during this period where Alice is feeling more lost and alone than ever that Jack appears. She sensed something strange about the video tape, but not dangerous. It was compelling, touched by magic, and left her feeling like she had to play it. Honey Bunny had a weird feeling about it and cautioned her when messing with it.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that the connection between Jack and Alice was willingly made, at least for the Sunshine in Hell continuity. It’s no different in this AU. Alice, ever the hero, heard the pitiful cry of a soul trapped in hell, and saved him. Thanks to her years of being a magical girl, having her soul put to the test against many magical effects, Alice didn’t pass out after the pact was made, and she fully remembers the terms of their agreement.

In a way, this starts Jack and Alice off on the right foot. Alice feels a sense of purpose in trying to figure out what happened to Jack and how to help him, and she finds he’s actually a really nice friend. It’s also nice to be around someone who makes her feel understood. Honey Bunny is good company, but their complicated relationship isn’t the same as what develops between her and Jack.

Alice doesn’t let Jack know that she’s a magical girl, though he does know about Honey Bunny, if only because Honey Bunny asserted herself to make sure the terms of the magical pact between the two were fair and that there were no loopholes an unsavory character could take advantage of. Honey Bunny, being the guide for magical girls, has experience in setting up contracts, you see, and she does care deeply for Alice even though she also used the poor girl as a child soldier. Even if she didn’t have a lot of options at the time, it was still not a good thing to do to a kid.

Honey Bunny has a lot of guilt for everything she put Alice through, and is extra protective of Alice as a result. The two are very close, and Jack often feels jealous of their bond. He wants to be closer to Alice, his sunshine, his savior… closer than anyone. Their bond is special. He never felt this way about anyone before…

And Jack certainly doesn’t want anything to risk breaking the bond he has with his sunshine and being damned back to hell.

While Jack can sense Alice’s emotions and vice-versa through their connection, the wording of their pact is a bit tighter in this AU, and they can’t read each other’s minds. Still, that connection of empathy goes a long way in the two of them growing closer.

Jack helps Alice get some direction in life, feel more motivated in herself again in a way that Honey Bunny can’t quite manage to help her with due to their complicated history. He becomes an important part of her life, making it shine brighter and she feels happy in a way that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

Alice struggles with burdening Jack with anything, especially since she’s supposed to be the one trying to help him, being the superhero and all, but Jack wants to help her, and it feels so nice to be taken care of for a change.

Alice has carried the weight of the world on her own for so long.

Things get easier with Jack around. Though Alice still works towards helping Jack be human again so he can interact with others, the idea of him one day going off to live his own life is just so sad. But can she really believe him when he says that he wants to be her best friend forever?

Jack understands what Alice is trying to do for him, and he does appreciate it, but he’s not leaving her even if she thinks that’s what’s best for him. He doesn’t want to leave her. Besides, he can see that wouldn’t be best for her. She needs him, and the more time they spend together, the more he’ll do to show her that. It feels so good to have her need him, to feel useful and wanted. She’s such a remarkable person, so strong and brave, but he wants to take care of her. She deserves to be loved and cared for, especially after all she’s done.

Jack, with his supernatural abilities, finds out early on that Alice is a magical girl when she has to run off because of a sudden monster attack. He doesn’t reveal that he knows right away, but subtly encourages Alice to tell him herself. It hurts a little whenever she avoids the opportunities he gives her to open up to him and lies to hide her secret, but he understands that a big secret as this can’t be easy to share, especially after he’s seen what some of these monsters can do to people.

One of the ways Jack tries to encourage Alice to tell him involves talking up the magical girl that appears on the news sometimes, how amazing and courageous she is. Unfortunately, that backfires a bit. Alice is reminded of the way Ian gushed over her alter-ego in the past, and the memory hurts like hell. Jack notices right away that this line of conversation upsets her, even though she tries to hide it. She covers it up by pretending that she can’t see what’s so great about the magical girl except her looks, and Jack, very gently, redirects the conversation in a more positive direction.

After that Jack focuses on not idolizing the magical girl persona, but humanizing her. He says there’s more to “her” and everyone beyond their looks. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, but Alice doesn’t need the ribbons and sparkles to shine. She doesn’t need to fight monsters to prove how brave she is. She’s the most beautiful, most courageous person he’s ever known.

Alice, flustered by his praise, protests that Jack is just saying that. After all, so many other people are so much more beautiful than she is, including the magical girl who totally isn’t her!

Jack focuses on Alice and her actions, all the things he’s noticed her do day by day that make her shine, the acts of kindness, her bravery and determination. At times his words cross over into things that he does as a magical girl, deliberately so, but vague enough that she wouldn’t immediately realize that he knows. It’s just enough to force her to look at that magical persona in a new light and see that it’s just a sparkling dress on top of the amazing person who invested so much of herself into doing the right thing and sacrificed so much of herself to make the world a better place.

Alice can’t help but feel moved. Jack has a way with words, and she can feel he cares about her. Falling in love with him is a slow burn, but comes as naturally as falling into his arms, and eventually the line is crossed. Although she believed that she would never find true love after everything that happened with Ian, Jack gives her the courage to finally try again.

Naturally this is a love story with a happy ending because I’m a sucker for my OTP. When Alice is forced to reveal her identity through a suitably dramatic moment to save people, Jack gently tells her in the aftermath that he already knew, and he was waiting for her to be ready to tell him. He also tells her it doesn’t change anything - she’s always been the most amazing person in the world in his eyes, with or without the magical wand and frills.

Jack and Alice get together before the reveal, which is a source of anxiety for Alice until everything is out in the open. Fortunately, Jack is so patient with her and helps her deal with her anxious feelings and worries. When the truth is revealed, he helps her avoid people in order to transform safely, gives her ideas for excuses to tell people in order to hide her magical girl persona.

Really, Jack would make for a good magical girl guide. He’s certainly clever and manipulative enough to handle the job. Plus if no one can see him, he can figure out the best hiding spots.

Alice helps Jack become human again, or as close as he can be. When he’s able to be seen by others, a part of her fears that he’ll find someone else, someone he wants more than her. Still, unlike with Ian, she finds herself able to be more open with Jack than she can with anyone else. She eventually learns to unburden herself with him, to show parts of herself that she feels are ugly and would let everyone else down if they saw them. She learns to release worries she held back from even Honey Bunny because of the weight of obligation she had to not let anyone down.

Jack accepts it all. He’s patient and listens to everything. It troubles him when Alice finally tells him all the horrors she faced as a magical girl, all the trauma and awful things that she had to experience for the sake of the world. It feels so unfair to him that such a kind soul has to suffer alone like this. He’s even more determined to be her shelter and give her a place she can feel at home.

Alice feels freer with Jack than she ever felt in her life. Even though Ian knew her secret, he couldn’t handle all the horrors. He couldn’t stand by her side, placing her above him on a pedestal. Even though Honey Bunny was there the whole time, Alice didn’t want to let her down and was looking to her for guidance. Jack, however, isn’t someone with expectations that she has to live up to or a victim to shield from the ugliness of the world. He feels like someone who is there for her, standing right next to her on her level. The weight on her heart feels just a little lighter after she finally accepts that sharing her burdens with Jack didn’t crush him under that weight.

Of course Ian has tried to get back together with Alice in this AU, but he’s had far less luck. His phone got blocked right after the breakup, as did all his social media pages. Their breakup wasn’t “for now” but “for good,” in this AU, much to his dismay. With all the responsibilities Alice has to carry, she has to think of the world before herself. She can’t be with someone who she can’t trust, and he proved that she can’t trust him. It’s lucky that he didn’t blab her secret identity in a moment of weakness before Honey Bunny made him forget!

Ian still reaches out in any way he can though, mostly to Alice’s family and any mutual friends. He stalks her socials through secret alt accounts and tries desperately in his regular life to become the man worthy of her. He constantly tries to figure out ways to make up what he did to her even while constantly putting himself down.

Because Ian forgot about Alice’s secret identity, he forgot that she’s also the mysterious magical girl that sometimes appears in the news for saving people. He can’t help but crush so hard on this mystery girl, and it fills him with so much guilt. He already cheated on Alice once without this silly crush making his heart flutter! He can’t let his heart be shaken up again! He needs to be loyal this time.

At the same time though, it’s over… Ian should move on. Yet, he can’t move on. He needs Alice. He knows he does. He can’t handle life without her. They’ve meant so much to each other for so long. His life feels empty without her.

Also a part of Ian subconsciously remembers the things they experienced when he knew her secret, and it deepens his longing to make things right. He betrayed Alice so deeply when she had such a burden to carry. The guilt is eating him alive and won’t abade until they’re together again.

Alice avoids Ian and is distant when talking with him. She’s able to mask her hurt with a frosty mask, but it’s so very, very painful. She can’t handle being near him or thinking about him for long.

Fortunately, the closer Alice gets with Jack, the less painful it gets to think about Ian. Her heart starts to heal thanks to Jack.

Unfortunately, Jack does not take too kindly to Ian’s attempts at getting back together with Alice Fortunately, he’s not the only one with this sentiment, as Honey Bunny doesn’t want Alice to get back together with Ian either.

Really, Honey Bunny was leery about the idea of Jack being with Alice the second she picked up on something developing between them. She was worried about Alice getting her heart broken again, but Jack is constantly proving her fears wrong. He makes Alice so happy. Maybe this strange and suspicious clown was what Alice needed all along…

Jack takes advantage of Honey Bunny not wanting Ian around to team up and thwart any attempts Ian might make to get back together with Alice. Honey Bunny is a bit of a mischief maker when left to her own devices, and Jack is very good at talking her into playing a few harmless magical pranks on Ian. Naturally, they do this without letting Alice know. No need to upset her by forcing her to think about Ian after all.

So, yes, Honey Bunny, in a way, is assisting Jack’s relationship with Alice in this world too, even if she’s more than a little hesitant about trusting him with Alice’s heart. She would be even more hesitant if she knew just how thirsty Jack is for Alice. His constant attempts to seduce Alice once the two are in a relationship is a point of annoyance for Honey Bunny, and she serves as a cock block more than once.

Still, it’s not going to stop Jack from showing his sunshine lots and lots of love, or experimenting with magical girl powers in a kinky way. Just the skimpy outfit alone is begging to be used for sexy times, maybe in a bit of roleplay as well. Sometimes pretending to be in a position of vulnerability can help someone take back power they lost, and Alice can discover that being tied up isn’t so bad when the person doing it loves her dearly and will undo the bindings the moment that she feels overwhelmed.

Jack might be playing the role of wholesome kids show host, but he’s still an actor at heart. He can have a lot of fun pretending to be a villainous evildoer who has captured the virtuous magical girl and has her at his mercy. He’s also open for it to be reversed, to be the dastardly villain finally captured by the champion of justice. After all, Alice has a lot of experience teaching the bad guys how to place nice, and maybe she can have a lot more fun with it when Jack is the one she’s teaching a “lesson” with the power of love~

I can imagine Jack would also try to encourage Honey Bunny to give him magical girl powers like she did temporarily to Ian. It’d lessen Alice’s burden and help them both out. He already has supernatural abilities of his own and is bonded to Alice. He can handle the burden fighting evil for the sake of his sunshine and the world. He won’t crumble under the weight of this heavy responsibility like Ian did.

Naturally, it would take a lot of convincing after how far south things went with Ian, but Jack is patient and clever. He’s patient enough to encourage Alice to come to him despite her many fears and scars. He’s patient to encourage them both to trust him, and we all know he has a way with words. Eventually, magical girl Jack will enter the stage and fight for the sake of his sunshine. He’ll use the power of his love to help her shine even brighter than the sun.

Besides the bonus of magical girl powers, Jack would naturally take advantage of the magic that prevents people from connecting a magical girl’s identity with their civilian form. I mean, if no one knows who you are, you can have anonymous sex in public with no one the wiser. Of course, the biggest obstacle is convincing Alice to give it a try, but they’ll no doubt come up with a compromise that satisfies them both.

I think I’m going to wrap up things up there for now. This ramble has gone on way longer than I intended it to - close to 8000 words! And that’s without going into detail with the smut or inserting a snippet of writing this time. I hope you all enjoyed this blend of magical girl shenanigans and Sunny Day Jack. Maybe I’ll get more ideas and touch on this AU again sometime in the future.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #Sauce-y Art

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 8 months

Text

I Took the One Less Traveled By - a Malevolent Fic

FINAL FIC OF SURROGATE: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT, SEASON ONE

Faroe is given a choice.

A choice six years in the making.

She could never have predicted the result.

AO3

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Her birthday.

He’d forgotten the date, gotten lost in their travels and searching.

Six years.

His daughter. His Faroe. If they hadn't pleased this monster , she would die. “No,” Hastur whispered. “No! Please! ”

The audience cheered. “Aaaand coming to you live, from Carcosa!” Kayne cried, holding up the cake in one hand. In his other, he had a weird mic, long and thin, almost like a wand. “The season finale to the greatest show of this generation!” And he tilted the mic away. The audience cheering stopped with the sound of a record scratch. “Been thinking of calling it Lester Yellow, you know, almost like it’s some kind of seasonal Home Depot color, what do you think?”

“Leave her alone,” Hastur breathed, so terrified he could not move. "I beg you. I'll do anything!"

"What?" whispered Faroe in a daze.

"No!" shouted Arthur. "Don't touch her!"

“No?” said Kayne. “Naw, you’re right, that name doesn’t really make sense. Oh, well.” Record-scratch, audience cheering. “And here we are! The overall ratings are in, kids! How do you think you did? Well, I can tell you: you did fantastic. The drama! The tears!” His voice dropped sixteen octaves. “The character arcs like blades, hooking deep in the gut! Oh, and of course, filicide. Fucking delicious."

Hastur made a noise as if he'd been gutted as Kayne spoke.

How dare you, John groaned.

“And I brought cake for the occasion!” Kayne said, holding it up again, and eyed them. “But you know what? No, no, cut. Cut! Edit. This little clusterfuck will not work.” And he snapped his fingers.

They were abruptly torn away from each other.

Everyone shouted. Nibbles bleated. Hastur and Arthur found themselves on opposite sides of the throne room, just within the blazing light—and behind some kind of barrier. Whatever it was, neither could get past it; whatever it was, neither could be heard.

They banged, shouted, kicked. Hastur, then John, tried spells.

To no avail.

Faroe scrambled backward until she slammed into the throne, gasping. Nibbles had been placed behind her, on the seat, unbound, but similarly cordoned off.

Kayne loomed , leaning over her, blocking the spotlight so he was silhouetted except for the freakish whiteness of his teeth.

Faroe stared up at him, gasping loudly, fear upon fear after horror upon horror making her shake, making her feel so weak. She’d grown up around bigger beings, long been used to such large things as her father—but this human-sized man, right now, felt bigger than them all. “Kayne!” she cried.

“That’s my name, feel free to wear it out and I’ll make up another one!” he said, and laughed.

It was horrible, that laugh. Worse than in her head. This close, shocking, knife-like, it pierced, and she screamed, covering her ears with both hands.

He crouched suddenly, holding the mic out to her so her gasps echoed back at her from around the room. “Hey, now, don’t be sad! You won! What do you have to say?”

Faroe cringed. “Go away!”

“Mmm, nope, nope, I mean, my script has a lot of space for improv, but that’s definitely not on the docket.”

“What do you want?” she cried.

He laughed. “What does anybody want?” he proclaimed. “Affordable coffee! Universal healthcare! Vengeance! A damn good show!” He tilted his mic away like a cue, and the audience tittered.

Faroe's tears were hot on her cheeks. “I thought you were my friend!”

All the sound stopped. Not even a record-screech this time, just sudden, strange silence. Hastur and Arthur were frozen, unmoving. Over her head, so was Nibbles, still in place like a photograph.

Kayne’s look was pitying, and cold, humiliating, as if she'd just been stupid . “Did. I act. Like a friend?”

She stared.

He leaned in, crawling forward, crouching over her on all fours like some predatory beast, and his spine did not curve right. “Did. I act. Like a friend?”

“No,” she whispered.

“Trust what people do. Not what they say.” He patted her cheek and stood again, human again, and all the sound resumed. “And now, it’s time for the final game of the season!” The audience cheered wildly. He looked at her. “It’s your cue,” he mouthed.

Cue? Cue for what? She had no idea what was going on, what these crowd sounds were, what the hell he was holding in his hand. Just how many times did she have to go into a horrible situation like this and not know what was going on?

She wiped her face, furious. This wasn’t funny.

“Oh, I disagree,” said Kayne.

In their invisible barriers, her fathers (fathers!) both railed, physically battering themselves, trying to get to her.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to draw the sword from the stone like Arthur had and…

Kayne tsked . “I think she's a little stunned, folks, let's all have some patience, yeah?" The crow laughed and hooted. "Faroe, Faroe, Faroe... don't make me wait! This has been six years in the making, baby doll. You are a success. Your presence (and your opinion and your happiness and your love ) forced these idiots to work together and be interesting enough that you don’t get canceled tonight! Isn’t that lovely?”

“Canceled?” she whispered, and memories stuttered into place. Similar words, something about a mini… mini show? Something, from that night, years ago—

“Hey, that’s pretty good,” said Kayne. “Good memory you got, there. Bet you made some new ones tonight, eh? You two, reaching toward each other like some famous ceiling painting! You, fucked in the head and sure he was going to kill you, but reaching anyway! Him, uncaring if he fucking died as long as you didn’t—and just making it in the nick of time, because you were about to pass out, and then he wouldn’t have gotten to you quickly enough if you hadn’t reached back. Wow. I mean, wow. I couldn't have planned it that dramatically.”

The audience began chanting her name.

She'd never hated her name before. She hated how it sounded now, ugly, violent, like a club in each hand, coming down. She shook and looked at her fathers again.

Arthur was sobbing, on his knees; he’d beaten his hands bloody, trying to get out. Smears hung in the air, on nothing, showing where he’d tried hardest.

Hastur had practically torn out the floor; it was like a meteor had landed on him, divoting, but he could not break through. Whatever Kayne had done clearly locked him in from above and below, too.

They couldn’t help her... but maybe she could help them. Slowly, Faroe looked up. “If I play, will you let them go?”

The audience cheered.

His grin was brilliant and shiny and white, and there were definitely too many teeth. “Brave little thing. Yes.”

Such a simple answer had to be a trap—but she couldn’t risk it. “Fine. What are we playing, Kayne, worst secret friend in the world?”

That title cracked him up, and she clutched her ears again as glass shattered somewhere in response to his levity.

Gasping, she yelled. “Well? Are you just going to… fuck around? ”

Well, maybe that wasn’t the way to go, because he laughed even harder, slapping his knee, and paced like a tiger. as if this was just so great that he couldn't hold still.

Faroe looked at her fathers.

No, she thought. She would not be crushed by this. She braced herself, reached behind her, and used Hastur’s throne to stand. (Like Arthur had, pulling himself up by a sword he made himself, like Hastur had, even after he'd had to do the worst thing, like—)

“Ooh,” said Kayne, low, his eyes lidded. “I liked that. You really are worth all that effort, maybe. Maybe. Still a kid. Well, anyway. Are you ready to learn what you’ve won ?"

“Yes,” she said, as if pronouncing her own doom.

He raised both hands, legs apart, as if posing for some kind of explosion. “A second season!”

And the crowd roared, louder than at the games, somehow more human than at the games, wild with anticipation.

"What?" Faroe called over it. “A second season? What does that mean?”

“Six more years, baby-doll. I don’t kill all of you for six more years.”

She stared. “ Kill? ”

“Your dad’ll explain the fine print later,” Kayne said, waving his hand, and abruptly shoved a plate with a slice of cake into her chest. “Take it.” He smiled. And it was a warning.

Her hands trembling, she did.

The cake was weird. The frosting was shades of brown, like rotten fruit, and it smelled like a peach left long on the ground, putrescent. Bile filled her mouth. She did not eat.

“So!” he said. "Let's see where we are, shall we? Not a forced family anymore, and while I have personal preferences on that account, I hear you.” He shouted at the ceiling. “I hear you! Conflict resolution! Declarations of love! Old plot lines revived! Punishment! I hear you, cheese and crackers!”

The audience laughed. Some asshole bellowed, That's what I said!

Faroe swallowed again. She was so tired; her body was done, fight-or-flight reserves already tapped, but Arthur had stood, and so would she. “Will you get to the point?” she said as imperiously as she could.

“I like the schtick, doll, but don’t push it,” he said. “You get to choose.”

The audience went oooooh.

“Choose?” Choose what? She wracked her brain. She’d missed something.

He watched her twist, his smile eager, hungry, cruel . He was waiting for her to ask.

She’d agreed to play—and whatever else Kayne was, his warnings and specific promises had always been true. She clenched her healed hand, memories of flesh melting too close to the surface. “Choose what?”

He winked at the ceiling and said, “Hastur. Arthur.”

The audience murmured, uneasy. She waited. He didn’t add to the sentence. “What?”

“Two choices, babe. You get one vote. You can’t abstain. No ties. You have to choose. Hastur. Arthur."

Choose what? Choose what?

She couldn’t do this. How could she do this? What did he mean? What was he asking? “I request more information.”

“No.” He angled the mic away from himself, and the crowd said ooooh .

She stomped her foot. “That’s not fair! I don’t know what I’m choosing!”

“Sure you do. Hastur. Arthur.” He laughed, arms out, and spun on one foot. “Choose!”

Choose?

It had to be death. He’d already talked about killing.

All the spells he’d taught her were cruel in some way. And Arthur didn’t even want to talk about what Kayne had done. And her father…

Her father was afraid.

She had to choose who was going to die tonight. Faroe put her hand over her mouth, trying not to sob. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not to anyone.

“No one ever is, baby doll,” said Kayne in a mockery of gentleness. “You’re out of time. Choose, or I will, and oh… you will not like that penalty. You should ask your dad how it goes when my words are ignored. ”

Get him a body bag! Yeah! some guy in the crowd shouted, and they all just laughed.

She swayed. For one moment, just one, it almost drowned her. This choice. This weight.

“Five,” said Kayne.

Arthur had stood.

“Four,” said Kayne.

Her father had done the hardest thing for her tonight and wept tears of gold.

“Three,” said Kayne, holding up three fingers.

“I’ve decided,” she said, because she had.

Divorcing herself from the emotional angle. Stepping back from them being hers. From what she’d learned tonight. From the brand new beautiful things that helped to heal the horrors she’d seen.

She had to view this as an adult. She had to view this as a queen . The least harm to the most people. The most good to those in need. If someone was going to die, it had to be Arthur—because her father could bring him back. If Hastur died, Arthur would love her and be there—but he couldn’t bring Hastur back, and Carcosa would be in trouble.

She couldn’t think through it more than this. Felt like her brain stuttered and fell, face-first in the mud. She could not emotionally engage.

A drum roll began, low and menacing.

She spoke, and to make them proud, she tried to speak like the queen she was meant to be. “I choose Arthur to die,” she whispered instead, and then burst into tears.

Nothing happened. There was eerie silence; even Kayne was quiet, as though waiting for her to get it together again.

She couldn’t shut it off right away. Hitching, choking, she finally dared look up.

Arthur was alive. Staring at her, clearly shouting her name. John kept trying magic, splashing gold along the invisible barrier, to no effect.

Did that mean…

She spun, terrified.

Hastur was alive, still trying to power his way through, his gold robe ichor-stained, his ragged half still fluttering as he tried with all his power to reach her.

Faroe was so confused she didn’t know what to do.

“Aaaaand we’re back!” said Kayne, and the audience cheered. “Excellent choice, baby doll! Real smart! I mean, I’d prepped for both options (and that’ll be fun when the other plays out) but honestly? I was hoping you’d choose him. Too much l-u-v and outright sappiness otherwise. Boring!”

“Wh-what?” she said.

Kayne snapped his fingers.

The barriers disappeared.

“Faroe!” came from both sides, and suddenly, she had them back.

Her fathers, both of them—and she and Arthur were both in Hastur’s arms, off the ground and half-hidden. She had them. They lived. They lived.

"My daughter," Hastur cried, his voice broken.

"Faroe!" Arthur cried.

Faroe! John cried, and both Arthur’s hands took hers, squeezing them, comforting.

What had she chosen? What had she done? “I’m sorry,” she gasped, clinging. “I don’t know what... I don't know what I did!”

“Well it’s been a good night, folks, with our breakout star (pretty good show from a kid whose first scene in this show was grkk, you know, dead) , but it’s time to wrap up.” The audience cheered wildly.

“Go fuck yourself!” snarled Arthur.

“No,” Kayne said. “She picked you, loverboy.”

What? breathed John.

“Couple of notes! Don’t make me repeat them, now.” Kayne counted on his fingers. “One! Arthur’s off the no-kill list. We all know you’re not going to do it, anyway, so that limitation is pointless.”

What the fuck? John demanded.

“Quiet!” Hastur snarled, focused, rapt.

“Someone learned his lesson,” Kayne said in a sing-song voice, and counted his second finger. “Two: new stars! Can’t kill them. Can’t send them away. You’re smart. You get the idea.”

Hastur got the idea. “Yes.”

“Good!” And everything froze.

Hastur stood alone, facing the being he’d tried to find a way around for six years, who now scared him more than anything he had ever known.

There was nothing here in this place. A vague blue-gray light, and nothing else. Eternity in emptiness. Hastur made a low, strained noise.

“And three… I don’t like you,” Kayne said, and it echoed, the words sound over and over again from all directions.

Hastur trembled. “I know.”

“I don’t like you… less than I did, though? The utter misery works for me. Crunchy heart, all in pieces . But still. I don’t like you. So here’s what I’m thinking, Golden Boy.” Kayne approached, and as he did, his guise melted away, and what he was came out to play.

Hastur fell back, crying out, huddled in terror.

Shadow bled from the thing “Kayne” had hid, madness threatening even Hastur's mind, and the next words burned themselves into him like brands. “She gets six more years. It’ll be played out at that point; I’ll probably move on. But you? You.”

Hastur panted, not daring to run, not daring to anger him more.

“I'm thinking I might just kill you, anyway.”

Hastur felt like his hearts stopped. He stared.

“Am I being greedy? Having my cake and eating it, too? Yeah, sure, but I mean, easy win, right? Everyone is gonna love season two. But you? You’re the one who did the shit. You did it all, didn’t you? Why, it was all… your… fault.” And his voice dropped low to a pleased and terrible rumble, eager, expectant, hungry.

Hastur’s whisper was nothing. “Yes.”

The darkness writhed, relishing. “You have to pay, don’t you? You know you do. You should hear their cries… they want you to suffer, bucko. They want you to hurt. That’s only fair, isn’t it?”

It was. He hadn’t suffered enough. Not for what he’d done, what he’d wrought. He could see that. He deserved… more. "Yes," he whispered, head bowed, because it was right.

So would end the King in Yellow, Lord of Carcosa, fool.

But six years—that wasn’t enough time. If he were dead, who would protect them? They wouldn’t be safe. They would be prey. He couldn’t make them safe in six years. No one could. Hastur made one soft, helpless sound. "Wait..."

“That was lovely! Heartbroken is a damn good look on you, bubby.”

”I need more time,” he whispered, ready to bargain whatever misery this being wanted.

”No,” said the Faceless One. Then he flicked Hastur's mask. Hastur cried out. It reverberated, that pain, shocked him, briefly blinded, flashed through him like lightning, and he found himself flat-out on the ground, whimpering helplessly. He reached up and found a chip in the mask that was his face, an eerie, sharp jag along the top right edge.

“You can’t bribe me, no matter how pretty that was," Kayne said, withdrawing, shrinking back into his guise with every step. "Six years. Good luck making it aaaaall work out.”

And time started up again.

Hastur was where he’d been, protectively holding his family ( his family ), unable to breathe.

His grip tightened. Fragile. They were all so fragile. His face hurt so much, throbbing with his hearts.

“Guest star number one!” Kayne bellowed as if there’d been no interruption.

Trumpets played.

“What the fuck?” came a new voice, a male voice, a heavily accented Bostonian voice, and a man came stumbling into the spotlight as though thrown.

Arthur twisted toward him.

Arthur? said John. Arthur, it… it can't be.

“Parker?” said Arthur, his voice going high and fragile.

“What?” Parker challenged, clambering to his feet. His clothes were a mishmash of Dreamlands commoner fare, as if he’d stolen it all off various washing lines, and they were sweat-stained and torn. His hair, long enough to tie back, was greasy and in his eyes; his boots were worn, and his beard was half grown in. “ Arthur?”

Arthur gawked. Tears began rolling down his face. "Parker? Put... put me..."

Hastur let him down.

Arthur staggered toward that voice, and his breath hitched once. "Parker? Y... you're alive?"

" You're alive?" said Parker. "Fucking... you... son of a bitch, you're here?"

The drum rolled. “And guest star number two!” said Kayne.

Watch out! a new voice snarled.

But not new. Not at all.

“I got this,” soothed Parker, but it didn’t matter at all.

Arthur stopped as though he’d been gut punched. “Yellow?” he choked.

MURDERER! the voice cried.

“Easy, Sunny,” said Parker.

No! Parker, get away from him! He’s fucking dangerous! Yellow snarled. He'll hurt you! He... he'll... get away from us!

Arthur staggered back as if punched. He shook now from head to toe, his breath going shuddery and shallow, his voice a soft whimper.

The drum roll abruptly resumed, and the orchestra began building, louder and louder, adding percussion, strings, brass—“And of course, what’s a new season without a new villain?” Kayne cried, and his eagerness made the room tremble. “Guest star number three, straight from the wilds of the sweetest digs in the Dreamlands! Covered in the sins of his youth, filled with power from the nastiest rituals you’ve ever seen, scion of the Order of the Falling Star, and one of my favorite puppets… Wallace (ace… ace…) Larsooooooooon!”

The music exploded into chaos, a gargantuan blare of discordant noise, and the audience joined it, booing, shrieking, hissing and howling.

"What? What is... where am I?" came a syrupy drawl, smooth and unafraid, and Larson staggered into the light, dressed in colorful finery good enough for Court, with dragon-hide boots, with jewels sewn into the seam of his cloak, rubbing his eyes as though briefly blinded.

Arthur went completely stiff, as rigid as if he'd been electrocuted. It seemed he no longer breathed.

Hastur, John warned.

“What’s happening?" said Larson mildly, unafraid, confident. “I do declare… my, my. What is this place?”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand action!" Kayne bellowed—and disappeared, along with the spotlights, the crowd, the ambient noise, leaving them all alone in Hastur’s throne room.

The silence was deafening. Then, it was broken.

“You!” Larson snarled... at Parker. “Thief! How in the hell did you get loose again?”

“Oh, fuck this guy,” said Parker. “He ain’t getting you back. You hear me? Try it, asshole!”

Parker, I’m scared, said Yellow quietly.

And Larson spotted Hastur, and fell at once to his knees, arms raised. “Oh… oh! Nilgh'ri l' vulgtmah Uh'eog ph'nglui Turor! Llll ahornah, h' ahuh'eog nilgh'ri! ” he proclaimed in R'lyehian, pronouncing what had to be worship.

Hastur! John cried.

Without a sound, Arthur lunged at Larson with every intent to tear him to shreds.

-----------

Notes:

Wow. What can we even say?

We wrote this crazy series as a love-letter to Malevolent. We're playing in the sandbox, raising castles (and razing them, too), and honestly never expected that anyone else would enjoy the mess we made like you wonderful readers have.

Thank you all for your comments, your encouragements, your reactions. They've meant more than you know - and ensured that we would actually WRITE this thing instead of just going, "Wouldn't it be amazing if..."

As for this forced FOUND family, their story isn't done. We're already working on season two—though we might need to catch our breath before we post it. :)

Thank you for trusting us. <3 Hopefully, you enjoy the ride to the end the way we are.

And thanks again to Harlan, who is awesome, and made these dolls for us to play with in the first place.

See you in season two. Love, Trin, @sepiabandensis, and @sparklyandheroic

#malevolent fic #surrogate series #hastur malevolent #kayne malevolent #kiy malevolent #faroe malevolent #faroe lester #arthur lester #john malevolent #john doe malevolent

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katzell · 10 months

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How I Met Your Father - Review

Seasons 1 & 2

First, know that I was there in the beginning. I watched How I Met Your Mother starting in season 3 and watched it as it aired until the very bitter end. Everyone has a show that disappointed them and let them down. But I honestly think that nothing compares to the horror of the last episode of HIMYM, because it made everything that came before it worse. Mayyybbee some LOST fans get it. But at least that finale wasn’t a character assassination in the name of one last smug trick. It was a rumination on love and humanity that allowed the characters a moment of grace in a world that denied it. HIMYM’s trashed seasons of character work for Barney and Robin and its own success in actually finding someone to play the Mother who was worth 11 seasons of waiting. But sure, wasn’t it clever they had footage of the kids before they grew too big saying the story was always about Ted loving Robin. Of course nothing that was filmed after season 3 really mattered.

I’m sorry to begin this way, but as Robin Scherbatsky and Barney Stinson appear in HIMYF, clearly in the between times, post divorce but before the titular mother’s horrible death, we have to talk about it.

I hadn’t meant to watch this show. Poor Chris Lowell will forever be Piz. The Veronica Mars trauma is another thing all together and others have written about that better. But as a lifelong Hilary Duff fan, I was curious to see her do a traditional adult sitcom.

In 2021, the pilot didn’t convince me. I agreed with reviews that said none of the characters acted or spoke like millennials. The side stepping of covid felt weird as well. Where HIMYM had a really eerie knack of conjuring NYC from LA, the reboot felt more soundstagey. I chalked it off as another mercenary move to mine IP and play on nostalgia.

But I guess this is why we live on Tumblr! Because the right gifset on your dash at the right time can make you reassess. And the right persons face can make you pause and go, I guess this is happening now.

In 2023, watching a comedy that was in fact pure shenanigans suddenly felt like a gift. As everyone reassess the changes in the US television industry, I hope distributors see the value in greenlighting shows like this again. I love my prestige comedies that want to incite anxiety attacks. But I also love seeing friends living in a city run around having madcap adventures. And I love a show that unabashedly wants me to ship characters and care about romance! Particularly the slow kind that works off dozens of episodes to establish.

And luckily for me, HIMYF has the very dreamy Sid, played by Suraj Sharma. I mean, who doesn’t at some point fantasize about a hot bar owner smart enough to go to [insert highly demanding profession here] but chose instead a cozy place where all their friends can hang. (See also New Girl). I need at least 3 more seasons, 20 episodes each, because I’m invested in the potential between he and Hillary Duff’s Sophie. Its nascent and yet so much more intriguing than Sophie’s other more obvious, but boring options. (Apologies to Chris Lowell’s Piz Jessie). Sophie and Sid have the easy charm to power a friends to lovers for the ages. And with his marriage on the rocks, and her dating his best friend, the melodrama is there too! The stupid concite of the show has its hooks in me again and I am definitely scared. You would be too if you saw the pathos and rawness Cobie Smuthers brings to her cameo. I’ve been kicked in the teeth before by this world. Neither of us are over it.

Fine, a brief word on Barney’s cameo. Awful. He talked about how he learned to respect women thanks to a special girl in his life. It was his fucking daughter and not Robin. I knew this and it still hurts. The electroshock pants weren’t funny. But I did like that he wouldn’t charge a nice girl for smashing his car if she had a fun enough story. That was the character I liked.

#how i met your father #himyf #sophie x sid #katie watches tv

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zipzin · 5 months

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Keep it Safe - Also on Ao3

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Regina Mills/Emma Swan

Characters: Emma Swan, Regina Mills, Henry Mills

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, season 3b, Regina's very bad half season

The wind is biting outside Mifflin, and Emma shivered in her leather jacket. It felt good to be back in it, perhaps the only thing about being here that felt right. Well maybe als-

The rest of her thought was cut off as Regina stomped down the steps.

“You don’t have to do this.” Emma stared at her, “Regina, please, I’m not going to lose you to some witch claiming to be your sister.” What was with this town a fucked up families?

“She is my sister.” Regina grit out.

“So what?” Emma said with her fists clenched. “I know you’re kinda about pissing contests, but you don’t owe her anything. You can back out.”

“I’m not backing down,” Regina rolled her eyes and then avoided looking at Emma, “But there is one thing you can do for me.”

“Anything,” Emma promised.

“Take this,” Regina held out a small, well sack. Emma stared at it, the black leather smoothly sliding over her fingers as she grabbed it.

“Um okay, I already ate dinner? And Henry is eating fine too.” Emma added hastily. Even though Regina had seen him (albeit at a distance) and seen he’d not been malnourished the last year, she still didn’t trust Emma to take care of him. Not that she was going to say no to free leftovers. “But still Regina, you don’t need to fight her.”

“It’s not dinner,” Regina said frostily, “Wait-”

Emma tossed the sack into the passenger seat of the bug and turned back. Regina’s eyes widened and her hands went to grab it as it thumped against the seat. Emma’s mouth dropped open as Regina clutched her chest, wincing.

“You idiot-”

“Regina,” Emma felt her heart hammer against her chest, “What was in the bag?”

“What do you think?”

Emma trembled as she scrambled to grab it and stared into it in horror. “Please tell me this isn’t your heart.”

Regina took an unnecessary step closer and bared her teeth. “It is.”

“You’re giving your heart to me?”

“Yes.”

“What? Why?” Emma dared not move.

Regina sighed, “I’m not an idiot, Miss Swan, I’m going against a witch in battle, sometimes it’s best to leave your heart behind. If my mother taught me anything.”

“Your heart?” Emma gulped feeling faint.

Regina twiddled her thumbs, looking down, “Hearts are very powerful, if Zelena defeats me-”

“She won’t.”

“Thank you for your loyalty,” Regina rolled her eyes, “You were just saying I don’t need to fight her.”

“You don’t need to fight her,” Emma said and gingerly lowered the bag, “But that doesn’t mean you’ll lose.”,

“As I was saying,” Regina said, “Heart’s are very powerful whether she means to kill me,” Emma bit back a wince, “or use it as an ingredient, it’s best that she doesn’t have any access to it.”

“And me?”

“I trust you.” Regina spit out, like the fact was a personal failing. Knowing Regina, it probably was.

The words filled Emma with the same rush of warmth as others did a whole year ago. A lifetime of good memories. Emma blinked, unable to maintain eye contact, “With your heart?”

“You already have it,” Regina said and turned around, eyes watery as the words washed over Emma like a cold shower, “Just I know you can keep it safe. Hide it, don’t bring it tonight.”

“Fine,” She muttered, and stuffed the sack into her jacket. She could feel it beat against her chest.

“Thank you,” Regina said, “I have a couple more preparations to make. I’ll meet you at the clock tower.”

“Regina,” Emma said and they stared at each other for a long moment, “Kick her ass.”

“Oh I will,” Regina answered with a smirk.

“Here,” Emma shoved the black bag back into Regina’s arms. Regina’s text hadn’t come soon enough. Henry dozed in the bed behind the closed motel door, and Emma still wasn’t sure what to think about Regina crashing into the clock tower.

There was something about seeing Regina like that, snarling and vicious, directed at someone else, that made it impossible to look away. Emma had felt a cold streak of horror when Zelena’s hand plunged into her chest, and for a second Emma thought she could see a smirk of triumph on Regina’s face.

Regina took the bag carefully, holding it open and letting out a sigh of relief, as if she couldn’t quite believe that the heart was still there.

“Do you need help?” Emma asked, not entirely certain what the protocol was in situations like this. Regina had taken it out herself, so it was probably fine, but was she just supposed to watch?

“Yes,” Regina answered, surprising Emma.

“Oh, um, I just kinda place it where it’s supposed to go, right?”

Regina’s laugh twinkled throughout the hallway, “No Emma, I can put my heart back myself.”

“Okay?” Emma felt her forehead scrunch.

Regina thrust out the bag, “I need you to hold onto this for longer.”

“Longer?” Emma breathed, “But what about Henry and the danger? And you! You’re just going to walk around without your heart? Didn’t you say Cora took out her heart?” They both flinched at the mention of her mother, and an apology was already halfway out of Emma’s mouth, “Not that you’re your mother, I just-”

“Emma,” Regina said seriously, “You think Zelena is going to give up after one attempt? I’m certain that she’ll be watching me.”

“And you don’t think she’ll be watching me?” Emma scoffed.

“She will,” Regina confirmed, “But you can protect this heart better than most. We’ll need to start magic lessons. I think light magic may be the only way to stop her.”

“Why can’t you keep it safe in your chest?” Emma hated the whine in her voice.

“You saw what will happen if I keep it in my chest. It needs to stay hidden,” Regina barred her teeth, “I trust you.”

Emma thought about Henry behind the door, “Fine,” Emma said, “I’ll keep it.”

Regina nodded and turned, “And don’t just keep it in your nightstand.”

“How did you-” Emma bit her lip as Regina poofed away.

Dramatic asshole, she thought as a smile crossed her mouth.

Emma let herself into her parents' apartment the next morning. Henry had known something was up at breakfast as Emma stressed over her new hiding spot, but he was safe with Killian at the motel and couldn’t ask her any more questions.

Inside, she found Regina already standing, hands flexing on the back of a chair as Snow demanded, “So, where is it now? In your chest?”

“It is safe,” Regina answered evenly.

“Safe? What about us, are we safe? You of all people should know how dangerous this is.”

Regina’s knuckles turned white, her face contorting as she spit out, “I can assure you that you are safe.”

Snow continued, “Your mother-”

Emma winced.

“Snow, you really don’t need to tell me anything about my mother,” Regina all but yelled.

Emma looked at David, itching to do something. What, she had no idea. He just gave her the slightest head nod that she took as, just wait.

“Right,” Snow capitulated after the two of them stared at each other for a silent minute.

“Where is it?” David asked softly once they had turned away from each other.

“That’s none of your concern,” Regina nodded at Emma in greeting. “The less you two know, the better.”

“Is it-”

“I have someone taking care of it. He is trustworthy.” Regina cut Snow off before she could finish another word.

He? Emma frowned and like a gulping fish, asked, “He?”

What was she? Was this some elaborate ploy?

Regina shot her a look, “Yes, he. Not Charming.”

“Well, obviously not,” Snow said and then looked at Emma with sorrowful eyes, “Is it Killian?”

Regina screeched, “Killian! That unwashed vagrant!”

Emma cut over the rest of Regina’s curses, “That’s all we’re getting Snow, okay?” She didn’t like the thought of anyone else having it, least of all Killian, but she wasn’t certain she could listen to more.

“So, what’s the plan with Zelena?” David asked.

“I’ve put up protection wards,” Regina said, “Here, Emma’s room at Granny’s, my house, they can be broken, but they aren’t blood wards so she will have to work at it.”

“And if they’re broken?” David asked.

“Hopefully, by then Emma or I will know and we’ll defend against whatever attack she has planned.” Regina rolled her eyes.

“So we just wait?” Emma said.

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, “All we know is that Zelena wants my heart.”

“And that she was interested in our baby,” Snow cut in.

“Yes,” Regina sighed as Emma shifted in her shoes, “That’s hardly enough to go on. We need more information. So you sit tight while Emma and I investigate.”

“I can help investigate too,” David said.

“You need to protect Snow,” Regina said.

“And the best way I can protect her is if I’m out there figuring out what she wants,” He replied.

Regina huffed and looked at Emma for help.

“You can help us with the search,” Emma said evenly, ignoring Regina’s glare. “We need bodies, we have no idea where she’s hiding. But at the first sign of trouble you let us take over and return here.”

David gave a short nod.

They talked for another thirty minutes, that just made Emma more and more aware that she was out of place here. Her parents were biologically younger and expecting a baby. A whole other human. There’d soon be no more room in the loft for her or Henry, they’d have to crash on the couch if they wanted to spend the night.

She wanted Henry to never regain his memories.

It was a relief when Regina excused herself and Emma could follow suit. That she could ignore Snow and David’s invite to lunch because of Henry.

The door closed behind them and Emma demanded, “Him?”

“Miss Swan.”

“Don’t Miss Swan me, what do you mean him?” She’d been accused of being butch before, but she wasn’t that butch.

Regina pursed her lips together and dragged Emma down the stairs. A wave of her hands and Emma could feel a flash of magic envelope them.

“Emma,” Regina sighed, “I trust your mother,” She frowned as the words came out of her mouth, “But she cannot keep a secret. And do you really want her doting around you telling you some saccharine thing about keeping my heart safe?”

“Well, no-”

“So what’s the big deal?”

Emma let out a sigh as something softened in her chest, “So there’s no him?”

“No, there’s a him,” Regina chuckled.

“What?” Emma blinked. Had Regina met someone? They didn’t have their memories of the missing year and she’d met someone? In two weeks? A shot of something flashed through her.

“Lies are only as good as the truth that’s in them.”

Emma stared at Regina who avoided eye contact and Emma felt her mouth go dry. Oh. “You gave some guy a heart? A real heart?”

“Well, it wouldn’t do for him to think that it isn’t mine.”

“Regina, how many hearts do you have?” The words tasted like ash in her mouth.

Regina just looked at the wall.

She let out a deep sigh and rubbed at her forehead. “You know what, I don’t want to know. Who is it then? This him,” she mocked.

Regina raced a perfectly manicured eyebrow, “That’s not relevant.”

“I think it is.”

“No, it’s not.” Regina repeated. “It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed, “Shouldn’t I know so I can help protect him?”

“Do you want to bring more attention to him? Absolutely not.”

“Fine.”

“Good,” Regina said with disdain, “Zelena is undoubtedly not an idiot, so unless you want her poking around you and Henry even more, I need to lay down false tracks. Understood?”

“Yes,” Emma felt like she was back in one of the few classes she attended in high school.

“Now,” Regina said, “I’ll be heading home.”

She flicked her wrists and the magical barrier dissipated.

“Wait!” Emma grabbed her arm, and Regina frowned at her. “I just, well, I thought that you might want to come to the diner with me, Henry will be there. We could have lunch?”

Regina’s eyes shined, “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”

Emma felt her heart twist, “No, he’s curious about everything, so another face would be a good thing. Maybe put him off the trail for a bit.”

“Okay.” Regina nodded. “I’d like that.”

They finished making their way down the stairs and began walking to Granny’s in silence. At least Storybrooke was mostly walkable, if she had to give that up alongside not dealing with fairytale bullshit she wouldn’t have left New York.

Regina hesitated at the doorway of Granny’s. Emma looked back at her and said, “You coming in?”

“I think-” She wrung her hands in those red leather gloves that Emma had spent way too long thinking about and Emma turned fully to face her. “I’m not sure that I can do this.”

“Regina,” Emma strode over and took the clenching hands into her own, “It will be fine, I promise.”

“What am I going to say?” Regina said.

“You’re going to ask him all about New York,” Emma said, “And he’ll be mildly curious about why you’re there, but I’ll handle that.”

Regina's eyes narrowed, “Emma, you can’t lie to him.”

Emma rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious,” Regina said, “You can’t. And I won’t.”

“I’ll say that we were working together and I asked you to join me for lunch because I knew that your house was empty.”

Regina’s nostrils flared, “Fine.”

Emma ushered her inside. She couldn’t tell Regina that she planned to go back. This investigation would go from, well, Regina would probably team up with Zelena, knowing their luck. But she could give Regina these moments and convince Henry that Regina was a friend.

And maybe Regina could come visit.

Maybe she could move.

Emma shook the thought out of her head as they found Henry sitting at the counter drinking a milkshake.

“Henry,” Emma tried to not laugh at the deer in headlights look he gave when he turned around. “Killian, he hasn’t had lunch yet!”

Killian shrugged from his spot next to him, “Let the boy have what he wants.”

Emma didn’t dare look at the expression on Henry’s face. “Well I’m having lunch, come on, the mayor’s joining us.”

Henry nodded at Regina, “Hello.”

“Hi.”

Emma shooed Killian away as they all slid into a booth and Emma stared at the menu in front of her. “How was your day?”

“It was fine. What did you do?”

“Still working on the investigation. Regina was helping me.”

“Really?” Henry turned his eyes to her, brimming with curiosity.

“I’m afraid we didn’t make much progress,” Regina said.

“Oh.”

“But your mom tells me you enjoyed New York. I’ve never been.”

“You haven’t?”

And like that they were off, Emma barely had to say anything as they ordered food and ate. She just sat back and let Regina drink in Henry until the dinner crowd began to crawl in and Granny ushered them out to free up the table.

Emma leaned up and grabbed the bag from the corner of the closet. She let out a sigh as the now familiar weight of Regina’s heart was still there. She had made a point to check every time she reentered the room.

Well, almost every time.

She pulled it out and stared at the mesmerizing ruby and black swirls. Would Regina’s heart have looked the same two years ago? She knows it didn’t. They’d both changed so much in two years, hell Regina willingly spends time with Snow now. Something Emma’s not sure she even likes. And instead of fighting against each other for Henry, they fight together. Still for Henry, but united with the same goal.

Mostly the same goal, Emma thought as a vision of New York flashed in her head.

Emma shifted in her seat, they were something like friends. Maybe even best friends? She released a shaky breath. Regina had entrusted her with her two most precious things in the world. And given her a lifetime of memories that Emma hadn’t even known she ached for.

They were-

The bathroom door sprang open and Emma bobbled the heart back into the bag.

“Are you looking at that bag again?” Henry asked, a small speck of toothpaste on the corner of his lips.

“Just making sure it’s safe.” Emma said and put it back up on the top shelf.

Henry watched her with raised eyebrows, “Why don’t you put it in the safe?”

Emma stared at the safe that hadn’t changed in twenty years and grimaced. Who knew if that thing even worked properly. “That’s the first place robbers would look.”

He rolled his eyes and huffed as he launched himself onto the rollaway, “Sure, whatever.” And pulled out his phone without another glance at her.

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be here. She wants to be back in New York, absently wondering how she managed to make things work while raising Henry. She wanted that to be her only fairytale.

She doesn’t want Regina’s heart.

She let out a loud sigh.

“Mom,” Henry grumbled out, “Are we going to bed?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Emma sighed and got up, darting to the bathroom.

Once this is over, she thinks, we will go back.

Regina joins them for breakfast. Almost every morning.

It starts on accident, Regina sliding into the booth to discuss a couple things while Henry is at the counter and Henry joins back and says, “Oh Miss Mayor, are you staying? It was cool to talk to you at lunch.”

Regina froze, eyes watery, “I should-”

“You’re much cooler than Mom,” Henry smirked and Emma wondered about the ethics of kicking him underneath the table. Regina’s eyes were wide, brimming with some emotion Emma couldn’t identify.

“She is,” Emma cut Henry off before he could say anything else and Henry beamed and pestered her with questions about what it meant to run a town.

Regina had looked softer than Emma had ever seen her.

The first time is an accident, the second time, Emma grabs Regina’s coffee and all but orders her into the booth, and the third time Henry greets her and nods to the seat across from him so she has no choice.

Regina doesn’t resist after that.

It’s like something out of Henry’s book, except Henry doesn’t know about the book and Regina is not his mother and, Emma doesn’t focus on it too much. Not the rocking guilt that’s building every time Regina smiles at him. Not the shivers that tingle down her spine about the explosion that will rock the town when Emma tells her they’re leaving. Not the rapid beating on her heart at the devastation that will be written across Regina’s face.

They can give Regina these moments to have when they go back to New York. It will be enough, Emma determines, it has to be.

Regina will understand, New York is safer. Henry won’t be kidnapped by Peter Pan or body swapped, there won’t be self-destruct switches, or monsters. She’ll understand.

She has to.

Emma played with the leather bag on the table. They were in the vault for another of Regina’s “totally safe” magic lessons. She mostly left Regina’s heart in the motel room, but with Henry out with Snow and Charming and no one watching the diner, she felt better if it was on her.

And it’d be safe with Regina here.

“So what’s it today?” Emma asked, “You found another bridge to terrify me with?”

“No,” Regina shivered, “We are not doing that again. Ever. We are going to do something a little more relevant.”

“Relevant?”

“You should learn how to hide objects.” Regina was staring at the bag and Emma flinched her hand away from it.

“You can hide objects? Why didn’t you do that in the first place?” Emma asked.

“It’s not that simple,” Regina said, “but since you insist on taking that with you everywhere, you should be able to vanish it for a while.”

“I don’t take it with me everywhere!” The rest of Regina’s statement processed. “Wait? Vanish it? What if it disappears forever?” It was scary enough knowing that Regina didn’t have her heart now.

“Not actually vanish it,” Regina rolled her eyes, “You’re giving a magical boost for it to seem inconsequential.”

“How long can that last?”

“The best can cast it so it lasts lifetimes.” Regina smiled smugly.

“So why don’t you do it?” Emma frowned. Why was she even here? Hadn’t they already figured out that her magic is only good in the moment? That she can’t access it at will for fancy tricks?

Regina turned away from the table, “I can’t be sure, but I believe that Zelena is able to trace my magic. Whether it’s because it’s dark magic or we share blood, she was able to counter me easily at the clock tower. If I cast it, it may have the opposite effect and instead be a glaring sign that something’s there.”

“So I have to do it?” Emma sighed.

“Yes.”

Emma swallowed and looked at the table in Regina’s vault. It was full of small objects. On one side were a series of pebbles, the first a small smooth river stone that was barely larger than a thimble. They got bigger and bulkier as it moved down. Then there were a couple keys, a crystal, a geode, and finally a tiny succulent that she was pretty sure was from Snow’s classroom.

“Fine, how do I do this?”

Regina gave her a gratified look and grabbed the heavy tome that rested on the table and flipped to a marked page. “This one should help us the most,” Regina’s back straightened as she laid it down.

Emma stared at the page and back at Regina trying to hold back a laugh, “I can’t read that.” It was written in what Emma was pretty sure was elvish, but just looked like a bunch of scribbles. Some of the text had gold flaking on it and it looked like it was centuries old.

“I should teach you that next.”

“Please don’t.”

“Hmm.”

They spent the next five minutes going over pronunciation, and based on the flaring of Regina’s nose, Emma was pretty sure she still didn’t have it perfectly correct.

“So that’s it? I just point at the object and repeat that?” Emma gestured at the smallest stone.

“No,” Regina pinched her nose, “You need a hand movement and then, remember, it’s all about intent. You must want to hide it from everyone. Including me.”

“You? Even though it’s your heart?”

“I can’t know Emma. That makes me a bigger liability.”

“Fine,” Emma gritted out, “what’s the movement?”

Regina demonstrated a flick of her wrist and Emma copied her, startling as Regina grabbed her hand to correct her. An ember traveled up her arm and down her spine and she stared at Regina for a couple moments before she realized Regina was still moving her hand in the correct motion.

“More with the wrist.”

Emma swallowed heavily, “Right.”

“Again.”

Emma flicked her wrist with emphasis.

“Excellent.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Miss Swan,” Regina rolled her eyes and then nudged forward the smallest pebble. “Now I want you to focus on this, and think about how you want no one to be able to find it. You don’t want it to disappear, just no one to find it.”

“What happens if it disappears?”

“Well, then I hope you can get it back.” Regina said swiftly.

“Right.” This all felt like the beginning of a terrible mistake. “You sure you want me to do this on your heart?”

“Just try it with the pebble first.”

Emma nodded and focused on the pebble and waved her hand over it. “So?”

“Again, Miss Swan.”

Emma didn’t bother trying to hide her sigh. She had a feeling she was going to be here for a long time.

Emma swung the door shut behind her, “Alright Henry-”

The rest of the words die on her tongue. Henry sat on her bed, staring at Regina’s heart in his hand. When she’d stashed the bag before she had gone down the check on what they could have for dinner she had not imagined this.

The world froze, “Henry, be very careful with that.”

“This is the thing you are so obsessed with keeping safe? What is it?” He frowned at it.

Emma took a couple steps forward, her heart thundering. “Careful, Henry.”

“It doesn’t feel breakable,” He gave it a little squeeze, “Almost squishy.”

“HENRY!” Emma yelled and raced forward. She took it out of his hand, her heart racing as she grabbed it from him.

He frowned at her. “Mom, what the-”

“Do not finish that sentence!” Emma checked the heart over and let out a sigh of relief when it appeared undamaged. Though, she didn’t really know what she was looking for. She placed it with shaking hands carefully in the bag.

“Mom?” Henry looked scared as Emma turned around.

“It doesn’t look or feel delicate, but it is and you can easily break it.”

“What’s it made out of? It looks kinda like a heart.” His forehead is still crinkled as he stared at her with wide eyes.

“I don’t actually know,” At least she isn't lying.

Henry frowned, “Is it a fancy plastic? It almost felt like a giant gummy bear? But it was also kinda hard? And not sticky?” He stared at the bag in Emma’s hands, “And you couldn’t see any electronics, it’s pretty amazing how it lit up and changed colors.”

This was why Regina wanted her to learn that stupid spell. She hadn’t even been able to get it to work on the geode yet. There was no way she was risking Regina’s heart.

“Henry, I really don’t know.”

He stared at her and then mumbled out, “Is it my dad’s?”

The air whooshed out of her lungs. Regina and Neal couldn’t be more different, and yet, “yes,” Emma said. Because how can she say anything else?

“Really?”

“It’s something that the woman who killed him wants,” Emma said, “I don’t know why, but we have to hide it.”

“With you? Doesn’t that seem a little obvious?”

Emma wanted to laugh, “You’d think so, but I guess it’s so obvious that she hasn’t thought to look for it here. Your dad and I weren’t exactly chatting with each other when he died.”

“But you’re here for him?”

“Yes.”

Henry’s eyes narrowed like he can sense the lie as potent as Emma can. “I-

He’s cut off as the door is thrown open, and Emma lunged for him, throwing him behind the bed. Regina stood in the entryway, face red, and in one hand, a fireball curled.

“Regina!” Emma squeaked, “Everything’s fine.”

“I felt-”

“Henry’s right here,” Emma continued, “I think that call you got was just an accident.”

The fireball is extinguished, and Regina reeled backwards, “Oh, um.” Her eyes stare at the bag on the bed and back to Henry, who was peeking up from behind the bed.

“I should go.” Regina finally said. Her eyes were watering, and Emma stalked forward. “I-”

“Why don’t you join us for dinner?”

“I already ate.” The lie pinged loudly.

“Hi Mayor Mills,” Henry waved.

Regina gave a smile so broken that Emma felt like she was back in the tunnels. Let me die as Regina. Regina backed out of the room, “Enjoy your dinner, and stay safe.” The door shut as quickly as it was opened.

“Weird.” Henry muttered.

“Yeah, I must have butt dialed her or something,” Emma eeked out.

Henry gave her a weird look, and Emma stashed the heart back in the spot in the closet. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Emma walked down the steps to Regina’s vault with her heart almost beating out of her chest. She’d talked to Snow once, about what it meant to not have your heart, and she described that every emotion was lowered. That you couldn’t feel love.

She kinda wanted to pull her own out right now.

Regina’s was resting in a bag tucked within her jacket. After Henry finding it, she didn’t trust him to not go looking again, and while Killian was taking him out of the motel room, she knew better than most how resourceful Henry could be.

She needed to master this stupid spell.

“Hi,” Emma said as Regina came into view. She was crouched over a book, a pinch between her eyes as she rubbed her temples.

She shut it quickly and stared at Emma, eyes narrowing, “Hi.”

Emma swallowed heavily as they stared at each other in silence. The bag rested uneasily against her side and she hesitantly pulled it out and set it on the table.

Regina looked at it like it was an undefused bomb.

“It’s with you,” She muttered.

“Figured that was safer,” Emma sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.” What could she say? The she didn’t think Henry, the one who was laser focused on figuring out the curse, wouldn’t be curious enough to look at the bag that Emma kept checking?

Regina closed her eyes and buried her head in her hands and Emma braced herself. She would deserve it.

“I can feel it,” Regina finally muttered.

“What?”

Regina looked at her carefully, “I can feel it when you hold it.”

“Oh.” Emma blinked.

Oh no. All those nights she’d spent staring at it, tracing over the grooves, marveling at the colors, she felt her cheeks blaze red.

“I knew right away that someone else had it,” Regina muttered and rubbed at her chest, “It wasn’t malicious, I knew it wasn’t Zelena or some monkey. It was curious and-” Her voice broke and she leaned against the table.

“Regina-”

“No,” Regina wiped her eyes and stood, “You need to master this.” She pushed the succulent forward. “Now.”

Emma opened her mouth to say something, but seeing the blazing look on Regina’s face just nodded instead.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

“Oh Regina,” Zelena sing songed as she entered Granny’s, waving a glowing heart in her hand with a smirk of triumph. Emma has never been more thankful that Henry was at school. “You thought you could fool me, putting this with some peasant in the woods!”

Regina’s hands clenched and Emma tried to keep the relief off of her face. A peasant in the woods was not a peasant in a hotel room. Though, would Zelena classify her as a peasant? Technically, Emma shivered, she was a princess.

Zelean stroked the heart and Regina stood, “Zelena, it doesn’t have to be like this.”

Not for the first time, Emma thought that Regina deserved an award for acting.

“Oh settle down,” Zelena said, “I’m not here to hurt you. Not yet.”

She held up the heart, and from here, Emma could tell the difference from the one she had stashed away. This one wasn’t as dark, it just had swirls of darkness, not the aching blackness that Emma held and stared at for longer than she’d care to admit. Except apparently Regina knew this entire time.

“Give it here.”

“And lose all of my collateral?” Zelena frowned, “Sister, I’m not stupid, not like,” Zelena’s eyes skated over Emma and to the corner that housed David and Snow, “Your merry band of misfits that you’ve allied with. It’s pathetic really, the Evil Queen stooping so low.”

Regina bared her teeth, “So this is it? You want me to die in this grubby diner?”

“Die?” Zelena cackled, “Oh you are so naive. My precious little sister, thinking I would just kill her.” Zelena grinned at Emma like she would smile back, instead Emma just felt nauseous. “If I wanted that you would be dead already. No, your suffering is going to endure, forever.” Zelena stalked forward, “I’m going to take everything from you.” She winked at Emma with a grin and Emma felt herself move back automatically.

Zelena held up the heart and gave it a little bit of a squeeze. Emma glanced at Regina, who too late, grabbed at her chest.

Zelena frowned and gave it a harder squeeze, “Oh sister, you didn’t.”

Regina stood tall, chest out and heaving, as she grasped at her breast.

“Oh, you are cunning,” Zelena raised the heart to her lips, “Kiss Emma Swan.”

“What?” Emma said and turned to look with Regina. She wetted her lips and tried to communicate telepathically that it would be fine. After all, Zelena had demanded it. What was a little kiss between friends?

Regina turned away, “Fine, Zelena.”

Zelena laughed for a second before scowling, “You bitch! I should just kill you, trying to trick me like that.” And with a ferocious glower, she pressed the heart into dust. It sprinkled onto the floor of Granny’s as Zelena cackled, “You won’t be able to hide forever sister!” And then swept out like she hadn’t been there at all.

Regina collapsed at the table, breathing heavily.

“You could have kissed me,” Emma said for a lack of anything better.

Regina squinted at her and then rolled her eyes, “It wouldn’t have helped. You’re prepared?”

“Yes.” Emma nodded. After a grueling session yesterday they had both been confident that she could finally cast the spell without destroying Regina’s heart. Well Regina had been confident and Emma still felt like she wasn’t really doing anything. She’d done it last night and from what she could tell, it was working. Not that she really had a way to test it.

“Good,” Regina nodded.

“It was fake?!” Snow demanded as she rushed their table. Emma feels herself being pushed aside as David and her take seats.

Regina swallowed heavily.

“Whose was it?!” David demanded.

“Regina, how many hearts do you have?” Snow cut in.

“Did you forget that I’m the Evil Queen?” Regina drew herself up in a regal fury, “I took so many hearts,” she spit out, “And this one-”

“You have no idea,” Emma muttered.

The room stopped for a moment and Regina deflated. Emma bit back a chuckle because it was not really funny, even if the chagrined look, Emma didn’t even know Regina could make that face, was.

“There haven't been any deaths reported yet,” Regina muttered, as if it had been longer than a minute since it was squeezed. “The owner might have already died.” She glanced at the door, “And no one’s come to kiss Emma.”

“Well they’re dead,” Emma said shortly, “So that won’t be happening.”

It sounded like Regina muttered, “good,” but it was too quiet for Emma to make out.

David looked a little sick.

“Where’s your heart Regina?”

“Safe.”

Emma was impressed that Regina didn’t even glance at her, just stared down Snow with royal indignation.

“Who had that one?” Snow eyed the pile of dust one of the waitresses was frantically sweeping.

The million dollar question. Emma had tried to get it out of Regina a thousand times, but she had been extremely tight lipped about it.

“It’s none-”

The rest of Regina’s words were cut off by a man throwing open the door. His face was white with horror and after turning around several times he came to a stop at their table. Regina stared at him with her hands fisted.

“Robin Hood?” Snow uttered loudly. Emma blinked as she took him in, the green clothes and closely trimmed beard. She’d seen him before, she realized, but had never paid much attention to him. This was Robin Hood? She’d wondered if he was ever going to show up and she had to admit that she was a little disappointed. He was so plain.

“Regina,” He marched over to their table, “I’m sorry, Rumplestilskin attacked and he threatened Roland-”

Regina held up a hand to stop him, “It’s alright Robin.”

“She has your heart.”

Regina swallowed nervously, “Not-”

“She’s not dead,” Emma cut in with a dark look. “Go back to your Roland.” Whoever that was.

He turned to her, frowning.

“It’s alright,” Regina said, “Go, be safe.”

He hesitated and then nodded without ceremony and left the diner.

“Him?” Emma asked, “Do you even know him?”

Regina looked suddenly like she was cornered, “I knew he would be trustworthy.”

“Because he’s a thief?” Emma shared a look with Snow, who’s eyes were brimming with suspicion. “I mean, come on, Regina. Did you know him from before?” She couldn’t imagine Robin Hood allying with the Evil Queen, but there were stranger things she’d learned about the Enchanted Forest.

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly? How does that work?” Snow demanded and for the first time Emma was grateful for her mom’s inability to let anything lie.

Regina pinched her nose and sighed, “He’s my soulmate.”

Soulmate? All her previous questions died on her tongue and her mouth tasted like dirt. What did that even mean? Soulmate? Those were real? Was that like her parents or was this something else? Why did it feel like she had been stabbed through her chest?

“You have a soulmate?” Snow leaned forward with excitement, “But you never-”

“Tinkerbell used pixie dust back when I was a young queen. I never approached him, just saw his tattoo, but,” Regina wrung her hands and stood, “yes.”

“From a tattoo?” Emma couldn’t help herself. Her mind was moving in slow motion, was this why Tinkerbell hated Regina so much?

“So who has your real heart?” David asked, caught between frowning at Regina and staring at his wife who kept softly sighing.

“Who has it doesn’t matter,” Emma cut in. A tattoo? Really? Is he the only person on the planet with that specific tattoo? “Unless they also have a tattoo that matches.”

“Emma,” Regina warned.

“Is it someone you can trust?” Snow asked.

“Yes,” Regina growled. “And it’s protected, it’s far safer than the one that was with him. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.” They watched as she swept out of Granny’s, door slamming behind her.

“She’s touchy,” Emma said as she sipped the cold remains of her coffee.

“Emma,” Snow sighed.

“I know, I know.” Emma stood, “I should probably go too.”

“Okay,” Snow gave a subdued smile.

Emma took the bag down before she could stop herself. And with a slowing heart, confirmed that Regina’s heart is still there. At least, she figures it’s Regina’s. She wouldn’t put it past her to have a third floating somewhere out there.

She pulled it out before she could stop herself. It looked the same as always, a dazzling glow of black with a heavy swirl of red. Emma felt and heard the beat and she finally let out a loud sigh.

It’s safe.

It’s safe and it’s here. It’s in her possession, not Regina’s so-called soulmate.

Emma bristled at the thought. Is there any escape from destiny and fate in this stupid town?

Regina’s soulmate is some boring forest person. Robin Hood, Emma’s brain reminded her, even if the one she met had nothing on the fox she had an embarrassing crush on.

Because fuck, Emma stared at the swirls, she liked Regina. She liked Regina more than she ever thought possible and it’s just one more secret she’s going to have to take with her to New York when this is all over.

A tear traced down her cheek and Emma fruitlessly wiped it away as she returned the bag to its shelf, heart hidden, suddenly too aware that apparently Regina could feel it when she held it.

How did this happen?

There’s a cackle in the hallway and Emma froze, bag hovering in her hand right above its place in the closet. She hurriedly placed it and rushed to the door. The peephole revealed her worst fear, and her heart hammered.

“You can hide, Savior!” Zelena spat with disgust, “but I know you have it!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Emma yelled back and fumbled for her phone, trying to type out a message to Regina.

She felt a surge of power against the door and Emma dropped it as she tried to absorb it. In all of their lessons, Regina had complained that Emma wouldn’t focus and that she only relied on instinctive magic. She had no discipline.

Well hopefully instinct would kick in now.

Sweat beaded down her back as she grit her teeth against the wave that threatened the blow apart the door and Regina poofed beside her.

“Help,” Emma gritted out.

Regina immediately dropped into action. Zelena’s wave subsided and with a shake of their heads they poured their own against her. The exhilarating feeling of doing magic with Regina never faded, it was intoxicating, and Emma imagined if she’d felt this at 17, pregnant and powerless, she would have sold her soul to Rumplesticklin as well. Though, she only got this with Regina, so she probably would have just sold her soul to her.

“Hi sister!” Zelena cackled and another flash thundered against the door. There was a crackling and then the magic stopped.

“Did she give up?” Emma asked.

Regina frowned and stared through the peephole, “She’s not there.”

“Is she hiding?”

They shared a nervous glance and Regina tried the doorknob. It didn’t budge.

“Sometimes it sticks,” Emma said and brushed aside, her hand hot from where it laid against Regina’s waist, “Let me.” She jammed her shoulder against the frame. Emma reeled back, it felt like she’d just shoulder checked a cement wall.

“Oh yes, you know exactly what you’re doing.” Regina snarked, “Why does this matter, we can just teleport.” Regina flicked her wrists, but nothing happened. She frowned and tried again.

“She must have put up some sort of magic barrier,” Regina gritted out, “Help me.”

“Do what?” Emma sighed.

Regina just held out her hand and Emma grabbed it. She could feel Regina pull magic off her as her fingers moved at a rapid pace, twitching back and forth in some pattern that was incomprehensible to Emma. This was a different kind of intoxicating, a merging of presence that had Emma feel warm all the way down to her toes. Regina’s brow furrowed and after a moment she pulled back with a heavy breath.

“Why would she do this?” Regina frowned, “My heart’s still here?”

“Yes,” Emma said as her eyes found the closet. It was open and the bag sat there, mocking her.

Regina stretched and began again, siphoning magic in careful locks and Emma leaned against her, feeling tired.

It took about thirty minutes of Regina carefully prodding the barrier before she broke it, and with sweaty hands and faces, they finally opened it, bracing for some sort of attack.

Nothing came.

“Stay here,” Regina commanded.

“Why? She’s out here. You’re no match against her alone.”

“The wards are still in place within this room, and you need to protect it.”

Emma bit her lip, “Fine, but you better call me the second something happens. Or you figure out what’s going on.”

“I will,” Regina promised.

With a nod she left down the hall and Emma closed the door behind her, resisting the urge to kick it. She picked up her phone from the ground and smiled at the outgoing message.

Helfsaldfalsjdf;wght

At least Regina had figured out what it meant. She sat carefully on the bed, flicking through contacts, debating who she should call. She couldn’t call Regina, Snow probably had no idea and worrying her was a bad idea so close to the due date, Henry, she probably shouldn’t add to the questions that he’d been asking, maybe Killian?

A flash of purple smoke filled the room and Regina staggered in place, face pale.

“She took Henry.”

Emma felt her own heart drop through the floor.

The group gathered in Snow and David’s apartment, Regina’s heart stowed carefully in Emma’s jacket, beating in time with Emma’s own racing one. Regina herself paced up and down while the group watched her.

“There’s no question,” Regina finally said, “We turn it over.”

“Regina,” Snow protested, “It’s your heart.”

“And it’s Henry,” Regina marched over. “He has no idea what’s going on, we have no idea what-” She cut herself off.

“No!” Emma yelled, “She’ll kill you! And then Henry will be without-” She couldn’t finish.

Regina turned her blazing eyes towards her, “Henry doesn’t know what he’s missing. He’s without his memories. And we don’t know what Zelena plans to do yet. My heart is just a part of it. There’s still time.”

“But Reg-”

“You’re taking him back to New York anyway.”

Emma felt like she couldn't breathe. Regina wasn’t supposed to know that. How did she know that? How could she know that? Emma hadn’t talked about it with anyone.

“It would be better for him.” Emma choked out.

Regina’s eyes are glassy and her mouth thin and Emma can’t look at her anymore.

“We still don’t have an idea of how to stop Zelena,” David said, “Giving her your heart seems like surrender. She could control you like Rumple.”

“All that matters is that Henry is safe.” Regina barked out.

Emma clenched her fists as she stared at the floor, her heart pounding. There has to be another way. There needs to be. Regina and Henry both need to be safe. She’s the savior, right? Why can’t she save the two most important people to her?

There’s a rapping on the door and Killian opens it carefully, hook out, but lets the intruder in without protest.

“Belle?” Snow asked as she tumbled through, a huge book clutched in hand.

“I found something,” Belle nodded at everyone but Regina. The book thudded against the table and they all stared at it.

“Found?” Emma asked when no one else said anything.

“Regina,” Belle spat out the name, “asked me to look into Zelena and why she was having so much trouble against her.” Belle flipped to the bookmarked page, “I believe that the pendant she wears is a focus for her power.”

“Of course,” Regina muttered.

“So?” Emma asks, looking between her parents and Killian.

“A focus is used to amplify magic, but you need to pour a lot of magic into it to make it and tie yourself to it. It makes you extremely vulnerable without them.” Regina said.

“So what do you use?” Killian drawled, his eyes gleaming black.

“I don’t,” Regina said shortly, “but it does answer a lot of questions about Zelena.”

“So do we need a spell to get it or something?” Emma asked, trying to cut off their bickering before it started.

“We just need to pull it off,” Regina said, “They can’t be summoned, but you can’t use anchoring spells on them either. We just need to get close enough to take it.”

Emma nodded, that sounded more like her speed, “So we fight, bring your heart-”

“Can’t you just get another one?” Snow asked and winced, “Or make a fake.”

“Zelena isn’t going to give over Henry for nothing,” Regina said, “She’ll be checking after last time, and then Henry will be dead.”

Snow nodded and they outlined a plan. Emma swallowed and fetched the heart from her jacket and handed it to Regina, still unable to look at her, “I guess this is for you to have now.”

She could hear Snow’s gasp and Killian’s grumble as the bag exchanged hands, but she ignored them, eyes bright as she stared at Regina.

Regina nodded, “I suppose.”

“We’ll get him back,” Emma promised.

“We have to.”

The clock tower loomed over them. It feels like Emma always finds herself here, staring as it merrily ticks away. She watched it closely, as if one second it would stop and the curse would restart. Except there was a curse, one they still didn’t know who cast, and it didn’t freeze time, just stole their memories and transported them here.

David stayed with Snow. She’s close enough to labor that no one was letting her near Zelena or leaving her alone. Killian came instead, despite Regina’s protests that he’ll be useless and a liability.

Zelena stood with Rumple flanking her, one hand holding the dagger, and the other curled around Henry’s shoulder. His eyes are wide and his hands bound with rough hewn rope.

“Mom!” He called, looking frantically at Emma, “This crazy lady kidnapped me!”

“It’s going to be okay, Henry.” Emma called back.

“Yes, yes, mother and son, how darling,” Zelena drawled, “Now, sister, do you have it?”

“First,” Regina said, “swear on the Dark One’s dagger that you will let Henry go when I give you my heart and that you won’t hurt him.”

Emma bit her lip to keep from protesting, she’d think of something to explain this to Henry. They just needed him to be safe.

Zelena rolled her eyes, “So dramatic. Yes, I swear on the Dark One’s dagger. Now give it here.”

Emma swallowed heavily as Regina strode forward.

“Rumple,” Zelena commanded, “Go ahead and take it.”

Rumple snarled and took a couple steps forward and Emma could feel Belle twitch beside her. Regina raised a hand at Rumple and stared at Zelena. “My deal was with you, and you alone.”

Zelena rolled her eyes and shook her head at Rumple, who took a couple steps back. The two sisters stared at each other and slowly, Regina took the last ten steps forward. Emma bit her lip and clenched her fist as she watched, and saw Henry’s eyes get even wider as he recognized the bag.

Regina held out the bag and after another long stare, Zelena snatched it with a laugh. She peered inside and a shimmer seemed to erupt around Henry.

Zelena took out the heart and looked over at Regina, “Finally.” She gave it a gentle squeeze and Regina’s hand went to her chest, but her face didn’t change. “A bit battered,” Zelena said to Rumple, “But that will suit us nicely.”

“Whatever you’re planning Zelena-”

“Oh don’t worry a hair on your head, no point in wasting your last days.” Zelena shoved Henry away from her as she cackled.

“RUN HENRY!” Emma yelled and he took off running towards her.

Regina let out a burst of magic at Zelena’s hand holding the dagger and Zelena screeched, the dagger falling to the ground. Regina ducked and kicked it, and it skittered on the asphalt. There’s a scramble of bodies, towards it, Killian, Belle, Zelena, and Rumple, and it ends with Rumple holding it up delightedly. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Typical, Emma barely had time to think before she was wrapping Henry up into a hug and pressing a kiss to his forehead, “Go to Killian and take cover.”

“Why?” He asked as Emma shoved him towards Killian.

She took a couple steps forward until she was next to Regina, her hair mussed and sweating as she battled a crazed looking Zelena. She was thrown back and Emma touched her shoulder.

“Together.”

Regina nodded and they sent out a wave of magic together, the combined force throwing Zelena back several inches. Zelena reared back with a wave of green magic so forceful it scorched a black mark onto the pavement.

Regina marched toward her and Emma scrambled to follow. Zelena threw out another burst of magic that Regina managed to dodge and Zelena climbed to her feet. Regina was close, too close and Emma started to run. She wasn’t going to make it, she wasn’t going to make it!

“Your precious Savior can’t save you now!” Zelena reached into the bag and pulled out the heart.

Regina stumbled. She was only a yard away and took another step, more of a leap, one hand clutching her chest and the other sailing in a perfect right hook. It crunched against Zelena’s face, blood spurting from her nose and Zelena scrambled, hands flying. The heart slipped from her grip and went flying in the air and Emma stopped, eyes tracking it, only vaguely aware of Regina snatching the pendant off of Zelena’s neck. What a time to have never been very good at baseball.

It landed in Henry’s arms.

“You lost.” Regina said simply.

“NOOOO!” Zelena screamed and writhed as she dropped to the ground. “I’LL GET YOU! I’LL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER LOVED!” Regina calmly placed the anti magic bracelet on Zelena’s arm and turned.

Emma is already racing towards Henry who’s staring at the glowing, pulsing heart with a furrow in his brow.

“I told you to take cover,” Emma muttered out.

Henry doesn’t answer her, “This is a heart?”

“Yes,” Regina said as she reached them.

He looked up at her, his brow still wrinkled, “And that, that was all magic?”

“It was.” Regina answered before Emma could try and deny it.

“Huh,” He bit his lip, “Did magic do something to me? Because,” he squeezed his eyes shut, “Things don’t feel right? It’s like something’s missing, but it doesn’t make any sense, because,” He looked at Emma with watery eyes, “I know nothing’s missing.”

Regina bit her lip, eyes flashing once to Emma “You had your memories taken to protect you and all of us. You had to sacrifice them for all of us. You’re a hero.”

Henry’s eyes shined as Emma carefully took the heart from him, unable to speak.

Regina pulled him into a hug, “Thank you for saving it.”

“Of course,” He smiled up at her.

It’s a reflex, Emma could see, as Regina leaned down and brushed her lips to his forehead. It doesn’t change what happened next, the soaring wave of rainbow energy that encircled the town and rushed out from them as everyone shifted back, eyes wide and mouths open. Henry stared up at Regina with wide eyes.

“Mom!” Henry hugged Regina again and buried his face into her shoulder. Emma saw tears in Regina’s eyes and she bit her lip, feeling tears form in her own. “Moms!” Henry turned and wrapped Emma up too. She thought she’d feel worse, but instead she laughed and laughed as all plans of New York were thrown out the window.

Regina finally released him, dotting kisses to his cheeks, tears trailing down both of their faces.

Henry stared up at them and then frowned at Regina, ”Wait Mom, you were giving up your heart?”

“Anything for you,” Regina said and Emma looked down at it, still clutched in her hand.

“Let’s put it back where it belongs?” Emma suggested.

“Okay,” Regina nodded. Henry and her disentangle and Emma clutched the heart in her hands and stared at her chest, suddenly feeling like she forgot to cram for an end of year exam.

“Emma,” Regina said carefully, “thank you.”

Emma tearfully nodded and with shaking hands hovered over Regina’s chest, and with one last look at Regina, she slowly slid it in.

Regina gasped as it was returned, and her face changed, a mixture of pain and pleasure passed over. She blinked open her eyes, her mouth open and hands clutching her chest and she stumbled.

Emma wiped some of the tears on Regina’s face away, “Does it feel okay? It wasn’t damaged?”

“It feels fine, Emma. Thank you.”

Emma nodded in relief.

“It always felt safe with you.”

Emma smiled, “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Regina’s eyes crinkled as they gaze at each other. Her eyes darted down.

“Oh my god,” Henry sighed, “Kiss already.”

“WHAT?”

“HENRY!”

He rolled his eyes, “You know without my memories I totally thought you guys were exes and that’s why Mom was hanging around so much.”

“What?” Emma choked out.

“Why else would she consistently join us for breakfast, or why she looked at me,” His voice died as his hands scrabbled at the tears on his face. “Anyway, I just, you know, thought that was why you ditched Walsh. And why everything was complicated with my dad, because, you know, obviously you were in love with Mom, but I guessed you fucked it up.”

Emma felt her face pale.

“Language,” Regina scolded though she looked as stricken as Emma did.

Henry rolled his eyes, but a hint of red flushed up on his cheeks, “I just, I wanted it, and maybe it was just because I was forgetting, but,” he looked between them with too shrewd eyes, “I don’t I was wrong.”

They both stared at each other, at a loss for words, and Emma’s eyes traced Regina’s paled face. It’s impossible, she thought, Regina is, well, Regina. She’s a lot of things, but in love with Emma? Emma knows where she stood in the world, knows unattainable things better than most, and Regina. Emma’s always known Regina was unattainable.

Regina wrung her hands together, her eyes darted nervously around and Emma felt her stomach bottom out. Unless?

“You don’t-” Regina started and Emma cut her off before she could lose her nerve.

“I’m in love with you.” She said simply.

She heard a couple gasps around her and just looked at Regina, whose jaw had dropped open and her cheeks had fully turned red.

“You are?” Her voice is almost tinny.

“Yes,” Emma nodded, feeling a burst of confidence and courage take over that she never knew she had. She took a step forward and lightly grasped the sides of Regina’s arms. “I am.”

Regina closed her eyes and breathed out through her nose, and then gently laid a hand on Emma’s cheek, “I’m in love with you too.”

Emma blinked as her heart soared. Was she dreaming? Did the world end? She heard Regina give a little laugh and then whisper, “I’d like to kiss you now.”

Emma could only nod in response and suddenly, Regina’s leaning forward.

It’s better than anything Emma’s felt in her life. Better than breaking the curse with Henry. Rescuing Henry from Neverland. Better than that first hug from Snow and David. Better than the feeling of doing magic with Regina. It goes down to her toes and when they break apart Emma knows she has a dopey smile on her face as she blinked up at Regina.

“Wow,” is all Emma can say.

Regina grinned at her, “Wow indeed.”

#swan queen #once upon a time #my writing: swan queen #my writing: ouat #my writing #mine

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rawrmeansmemes · 2 years

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THE AMAZING DEVIL LYRICS.

All of these lyrics are from the album ‘The Horror and the Wild (2020). Change anything as needed!

“When you call to me asleep”

“And I breathe not now”

“I know the kindest thing is to leave you alone”

“I could try to calm you down. But I know you won't.”

“I know the kindest thing is to never leave you alone”

“Every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed.”

“They said it all comes down to you.”

“You were raised by wolves and voices.”

“You watch the stars hurl all their fundaments.”

“You are that space that’s in between every page, every chord and every screen.”

“We’re drunk but drinking.”

“You’re the words that I promise I don’t mean.”

“All the stones and kings of old will hear us screaming at the cold.”

“Give me back my heart you wingless thing.”

“I steal the hours and turn the night into day.”

“ Without you, I’m stronger, I’m no longer filled with wonder”

“ So one last time, love, come and rip my clothes off”

“ Let’s wander, till the fuckers demand an encore”

“ Come and rip off my socks like you’re blasting the locks off of a bank vault.”

“ Hold me, lover, like you used to”

“ We don’t know what’s out there”

“ Wear a raincoat or it’ll soak you to the bone”

“ And I love you, don’t you know”

“ Cause when it’s cold, I’ll wrap my scarf around you”

“ Get drunk for me, sing louder than you’ve sung for me”

“ When you were young, you’d kick things just to see if they would fall”

“ But I’ll stick up for you, even though you haven’t got a clue, you haven't got a fucking clue”

“I know you’re strong enough”

“How the fuck am I supposed to carry on without you here?”

“You look like I need a drink”

“I'm the hardest goodbye that you'll ever have to say”

“Every time that you fumble, I'm the laugh from the back”

“I promise you I'll be better”

“You brought me to this party but you left me here behind”

“So long to the person you begged me to be”

“Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead”

“Goodbye to all my darkness, there's nothing here but light”

“It's what my heart just yearns to say in ways that can't be said”

“It's what's engraved upon my heart in letters deeply worn”

“Today I somehow understand the reason I was born”

“it’s not fair how much I love you”

“It’s not fair, 'cause you make me laugh when I'm actually really fucking cross at you for something”

“Cause darling I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades”

“And I chipped my teeth on every joke you cracked”

“You couldn’t lie then and you sure as hell can’t lie to me now”

“And for some reason you’ve painted the kitchen lime green”

“The minute I met you, the colours of my life began to pour”

“Don’t lie with your eyes, you know I despise that look”

“This isn’t a break up, dearheart, it’s a season finale”

“I'm the captain of courage that you've eternally lacked”

#lyrics meme #lyric meme #rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #Ask memes #ask prompt #rp ask prompt #the amazing devil rp meme #song lyric meme #long post tw

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wgc-productions · 7 months

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The Magnus Archives Liveblog- MAG 9 A Father's Love

It's been a little bit since I livebloged the last episode, but (by golly!) I'm gonna keep going (at least until the end of season 1).

02:13- Stop whispering at me Johnathan!

02:47- Oh, you know what would be a fun premise for a show (maybe a miniseries) a true crime podcast investigates the murders of a number of people in their town. As they reveal more and more the podcaster realizes the murderer is closer to home then they like. I feel like that could be a real fun thriller.

04:56- 40 PEOPLE! GIRL WAS HE EVER HOME!!! 40 people in 5 years is 8 people a year. That is a lot of people for something like murder.

09:08- Time to call a plumber, I guess.

10:07- Oh, he was a cop! That explains how he was able to kill so many people (I'm not even talking about in the political way, I'm literally talking about the fact that his knowledge of how crimes are investigated would very much serve him on his quest for death. Not to mention he has access to things that your average murder just wouldn't.)

14:11- You know if Julia ever decides to take vengeance upon her father, she'd be a perfect candidate for the Batfamily. Who among the BatFam hasn't had a murdering father (essentially everyone but Steph and Cass (and for a period of time Jason maybe).

21:17- Uh oh, Poppa's trying to summon ~the horrors~

22:28- I just know this woman doesn't get the access to therapy she needs. I mean, as a therapist, where do you even begin with a story like this.

25:07- Oh....no.

27:40- Once again I must ask, how can Julia ever cope after this image is grafted into her brain!

28:06- Alright the silver had closed around an eye is clearly important. I will save that little image in my mind so I can pull it out when future episodes come around.

29:55- Man this guy should have gotten into butchery or Tarot lore or something other than straight up murder for occult purposes.

30:44- Oh snap! Teeth dude! Alright, it's starting to braid together.

31:15- Sound personal.

Okay, so,as I've mentioned in my other liveblogs, I'm really waiting her so I can see how all of the stories blend together and also because as a person who makes fiction podcasts I feel like i should at least listen to one of the most popular shows in the medium.

I like how it's blending together already. So we have the connection with this episode and the episode with the teeth. We also had that mention of the strange woman in a few episodes. I'm excited to see where this goes.

I will say, while I'm listening to the episodes I feel not necessarily disengaged but it feels sort of quotidian. However, after the episode ends and I really think about the implications of the episode I become more intrigued. I think that might be the single narrator kicking in. Those aren't my favorite type of shows as they are hard for me to stay engaged in, especially since Jon speaks so monotonously through the episode, but the stories he's telling are interesting and thinking about it afterwards gives more more of that imaginative thrill.

#audio fiction #audio drama #fiction podcast #podcast #wgc liveblog #liveblog #tmapodcast #tma spoilers #the magnus archives #Spotify

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mrsackermanx · 3 years

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Chapter 11 | I’m military trained!

“I love you, entirely.”

Summary: Chapter 139/ Season 4 Part 2 Spoilers. Levi is finally coming to terms with his feelings.

Warnings: Attempted sexual assault and some canon-typical violence mentions!

wc: 4.9k

An: The pain is almost over😌😌! And i cannot believe Fable is on its twelfth chapter ahh, my heart, my heart, my heart <3

Fable’s Masterlist

⋘ 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ⋙

Steel-toed boots jut into your ribs, while saliva sprays onto your back, with every bleated curse spat venomously from the pack of men. And your skin is weeping, crying out as it burns so, from the fire of the loose gritted concrete, melding into your pores with its rough grains-

Where is he?

You're wordless, spluttering like a fish out of water, yet seemingly only capable of movement, for as far as they can kick it into you, you're teetering on the brink. Anyone, someone? A tall and spindly man, with a shovel almost blowing him over in the wind, from its sheer weight as he waves it like a white flag.

You weakly manage to lift your head, watching the horror wash over the men's faces, as like a madman he waves his bold weapon of choice at them, screeching, and to your relief growing closer and closer to you. "Get the fuck away from that woman!"

"Oh fuck!" They group into a hurried cluster, the slower of the bunch dropping his wallet in the frenzy. It falls upon your wrist, and you scramble to shove it into your pocket, watching them fade into shadows in the distance, as you cough out in relief.

"Miss! Are you okay! What did those bastards do to you!"

"Hey, wait! wait! I'm an Eldian."

He shakes his head, head tipping back with a honeyed laugh as he helps you to your feet. "Miss, I don't care, just breathe okay, you're safe now."

You heave a deep sigh in gratitude, against your nagging judgment, reluctantly clutching onto his forearm. "No, I can't thank you enough, you got here so quick, thanks to you they didn't get too many hits in." It's now standing up you realise how dizzy you are, and how much your head is throbbing as well as rattled. "I-I mean, I'm fucking military trained, so what am I doing? Right?...Right?" you laugh incredulously, until you tentatively smooth your hand over the crown of your head, and feel the tack of blood and swallow, "But thank you for your help, I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you an all, oh shi-"

His hands fly out to right you. "Hey hey, it's no problem, okay? Where do you live, you don't look like you know this area?..Is it far?" His eyes are beady as he looks over either of your shoulders, and you're suddenly burning with a question of your own. Where does he live, on this abandoned street?

"I-I don't know where I am." You're so disillusioned, and now all of a sudden the man in front of you is scaring you. Levi's right, that's all you can hear, when did you start trusting strangers? When did you become so soft? His teeth are yellowed by tobacco, and his eyes sinister, and although he's skinny, he's oddly stocky, and definitely tall enough to take you on, especially in your state. "I can help you, just let me, okay?"

"I have a-a Levi!" you splutter, eyes imploring as you grip his wrists. Jolting when his rough fingers slide themselves under your waistband anyway, seeking something to take, and then in seconds he's hungrily tugging on them. "Please, don't, please. No! He'll find you anyway! And me, you have no idea who I-"

"No no, he won't, because you can forget about him princess, because you're going to come with me, back to my house, I live just over the street." he spits, his hand aggressively pawing at your behind now. "I'll clean you right up, got it? You're in good hands."

"Hey, mister, so, I did mention I was military trained, right?" You ready your knee to his crotch, arm gripping his elbow.

"Huh? Wha-" You release yourself, drawing back your fist and popping your knuckles into the centre of his face so hard, that his nose crunches under the curl of the hook, and he trips, stumbling back onto the pavement. He's instantly howling out in pain, the force of your knee to his crotch, and the crack of his arm and face, restore you with at least a little faith though, because his nose is surely broken, and his shoulder is definitely dislocated.

"I'm a fucking Eldian woman motherfucker!" You're laughing manically, exhilarated though hazy, because your vision is filling with fluorescent spots and your fading away, fast. He splutters out every expletive he can think of, though when you turn to see him brokenly rising to his feet, he makes no effort to follow you, in fact, retreating back to the direction he came from, running even. He abandons his shovel too, so you're safe, but you still cry as you sprint away, though making note of the street sign and memorising it before you run as fast as you're physically able to away. "How much more do I have to take tonight!"

Whatever loop of a nightmare your brain is stuck in, it appears to be playing over and over. Your vision is swinging like a pendulum, from fence to fence, street to tree, to house to sky, as you aimlessly limp through the streets, stumbling through this thick darkness, until finally you start to recognise your surroundings more.

All you want is Levi, you're willing him to appear from somewhere, because you need him, so why did you push him away? "Why didn't I just keep my fucking mouth shut? Oh fuck, I can't keep on-"

You hear a shrill and chilling scream that somehow soothes your soul, because you instantly recognise it, Gabi, it's Gabi's.

Through lidded eyes, you catch the roof of the modest little townhouse, with Falco and Gabi sat on its roof, lazing under the stars together, though their peace is disrupted by the sight of you dropping like dead weight below them. Usual Falco, he tries to grab onto her, but she swoops down one of the loose pipes anyway, shimmying down it before landing in a wilful clatter beside you. "Oh my god! Captain, no, what happened?"

"Is Levi? Levi?"

"[Name]! Please! What happened?"

"These men, they a-attacked me-"

"Falco help me right now! Reiner! Reiner!"

At the sound of Gabi and Falco's cries, Reiner runs out to the front of the house, dropping to his knees in horror. "Mom! Come, please, what do I do?!"

She bursts out into the street, gasping at the sight of you herself, "Hospital! Now!" she shrieks, "She needs a doctor now!"

"Yes-Oh my god Captain!" He grabs you, carefully hoisting you over his back, "I'll get her to the hospital guys! I promise, so go to Captain's, and tell him."

Reiner runs through the streets, taking every shortcut and backroad he can think of, so he reaches the hospital in minutes. When he does, he hopelessly searches your pockets for your veteran's pass, but to no avail. "Fuck Captain, we won't get priority, where is it?" He rests you upon his thigh, foot propped awkwardly upon a waiting room chair, as he juggles to search his own pockets too, though he doesn't have his either. "Levi will fucking kill me!"

The kindly receptionist rises from her desk, approaching him with caution. "We'll get her to the emergency room right away! Doctor Wagner!"

"Yes!-" The doctor audibly starts, his clipboard almost falling out of his hands. "Isn't that [name]?" Reiner looks at them in confusion, as they hurriedly hoist you up onto a gurney, since when were Eldian's treated like this?

"The exhibit, we know who you all are."

Reiner sighs out in relief, "Oh...yeah. Thank you doctor, because we don't have our passes-"

"It's fine, you don't need them here, we'll take good care of her, okay?"

"Sir!...Levi! Levi! Please answer!" Falco shrieks, banging down the door, but not for long, because Levi answers almost immediately, and upon seeing the horror on Falco's face, he knows, he knows something is fucking wrong.

"Sir!"

Levi violently shakes him, his hat and scarf tugging free from the force, "Where is she? Where?!"

"Levi!"

"She's...the hospital! Reiner would have gotten her there by now."

"What, the hospital, why is she there?"

"Gabi and I saw these men, they ran past the house in a panic, talking about some woman, but we didn't think-"

"So men attacked her, how?" Levi barks, though clinging to Falco's shirt in desperation. "They...touched...her?" he hisses, he's unnervingly calm, but barely able to force out the words as he trembles so. "Did they... touch her? How did-"

"She'll be fine!" Gabi cries out erratically, calming when Onyankopon rests his hands on Levi's shoulders.

"Tell me now! Did they? How?!"

"Vi' please, give them a second."

"They roughed her up a bit but she must have hit her head, because she just-she just, she, passed out in my arms!" Gabi starts to sob, so Onyankopon takes both of them in his arms. "We don't know what they did."

"Levi, hey, listen, they're shaken okay, just give them a minute. You'll tell us everything on the way, right guys?...Levi?!"

"Wait. Sorry." he mutters through gritted teeth, forcing himself past them to bend over and throw his guts up all over the bushes. How has it come to this?

"Levi, it's going to be okay, it's [name]. Come on, get yourself together, and let's go."

They all race through the streets, mainly Gabi leading the way to the city's hospital, while Levi runs in a daze, unsure of every turn and direction.

"Where are the men that attacked her?" he yells, ears clinging to the rattle of weapons in his boot, you beg him not to keep them in there, but he tells you every time, no foot, more space.

"We don't know Levi." Falco yells, grabbing Gabi by her hand to hurry, while Onyankopon takes charge, directing them all from left to right.

"Hey Levi, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do, but you have no idea what direction you're going in right now!" He grabs Levi and throws him onto his back, releasing a dry chuckle when he hears the contents clanging around in his shoe.

"It's fine! How fucking far are we?" Falco takes the lead too, stopping to let Gabi on his back, all of you panting under the dark night.

"Five minutes!"

"The fuck you got in there?"

"Mind your business!"

Levi almost face-plants the ground in his eagerness when they get there, jumping off Onyankopon's back and hurtling through the hospital doors. "Just down there, on the right."

"Thank you!" He speeds down the hall, Gabi, Falco and Onyankopon following, but he freezes at the doorway to your room, so Onyankopon gives him a moment, retreating to the waiting room.

His heart is in his throat as he watches you, the doctor is tending to the grazes on your face, and the bright lights are shining oppressively over the marks, over your pretty pretty face. Your eyes are closed, but he doesn't need to touch you to know that you're probably freezing, and that you need a blanket.

"Doctor, he's here." the nurse whispers.

"Tsk. Why is there so much blood on that pillow?"

The doctor smiles, removing his gloves, while the nurse gently raises your head to replace you with a fresh one. "Mr Ackerman, we were expecting you, she's in good hands as you can see, I personally assure you, I'm Dr Wagner."

Levi nods, "Thank you." Eyes fixed to you and nothing else, and dismissively holding up his veteran's pass as a means to bypass unnecessary pleasantries. "Levi."

"I've only ever seen one of those before, it's an honour, thank you for your service. But you needn't worry sir, we know who you are here. You can sit there while we get her changed and take her to a different room."

"Changed?" Levi scoffs dryly, looking at the sink in the corner of the room, "I'll do that." He pumps out rounds and rounds of foam from the dispenser, carefully lathering his hands up as he glares at everyone in close contact with you.

Onyankopon enters, having finally forced Falco and Gabi into the waiting room. "Doctor, how is she doing?" Levi automatically smiles at the chirp of his voice, what would he do without him?

"Onyankopon, hello! Levi, it's best you listen to this too, she's suffered some mild head trauma, nothing fatal, but I'm sure you've all taken bigger hits...I mean, we can only assume right?" He's chuckling awkwardly, because how the hell is a man barely five foot so intimidating, someone needs to put this man in a lab and find out, he's sure. "It's probably more of an internal issue, something mental as to why she's asleep, or shock, from the trauma."

Levi exhales deeply, while Onyankopon stands over you with a carefree fondness, tugging the blanket over you to keep you warm. "But she will wake up?" Levi asks, "Right?"

"Yes the good news is that she'll be okay, you have my word, but Onyankopon, it's fine to let Levi take it from here, yes?" he asks, warily glancing at Levi stood ready at the end of the bed, sleeves rolled, and with a brooding intensity.

"Tsk."

Onyankopon nods encouragingly, clearing his throat before talking quietly. "They're... lovers." Levi swallows and Onyankopon all and out grins, and winks, smugly shrugging his shoulders at him. "Come on."

"Ah, I thought so, well we'll leave you to it. But when she's changed, come out here and let us know and we'll take her to the correct room and ward."

"Thank you." Levi mutters, and the doctor finally pulls the curtain over you two, shuts the door and leaves him to face this awful night alone. He blocks out the dull hum of the chatter outside, dropping his face onto your legs, whilst tears spill profusely from his eyes, as he holds onto you like you'll slip right through his fingers. "Hello...You'll wake up, won't you?...I'm so sorry, I love you, I love you...I'll never let you leave like that again. What the fuck have I done?"

"But you'll be talking to me soon, won't you?" he babbles, carefully taking of your clothes, unbuttoning your shirt, and then slipping your pants away, wincing at the bruises already forming on your thighs. He kisses every single one. "How dare they touch you." he breathes, gently draping your arms through the hospital gown and tucking you in safe. When he's done he dips his hands into his pocket and gets out his beeswax balm, (that you always steal) and dresses your swollen lips with it.

Voice still thick with shed tears, he leans down and presses tender kisses to your bruised face, a few to your forehead, one to either cheek, and a long soft one to your nose, and then your chin. "I've been a fool, I'll treasure you from now on, I swear, I'll stop being such a coward, I can handle anything if it's with you, I love you, entirely."

He walks over to the door and alerts the doctor, following him and the nurse, as they wheel you to your room, and practically stepping on their feet in the process. "She looks okay now." Falco reassures, while Gabi smooths down your hair.

"Yeah Levi she does."

"Yeah." he says emptily. But this is all my fault.

The doctor settles you in your room, but the nurse quickly catches Levi's distaste, so she dutifully rearranges everything down to the askew rug. "We doubt that she'll wake up tonight, so it's best that you guys go home."

Levi glares, stubbornly seating himself on the armchair. "I'm staying in this room until she wakes up."

"Then we will leave you be."

"Thank you." Levi smiles, but he looks like he's one more drop of bad news away from screaming, so the nurse is treading carefully.

"What stuff shall I grab for her 'vi? Clothes?"

"No tell me, he's clueless." Gabi laughs.

Onyankopon chuckles too, fondly patting her head, "Isn't she a brat? But we'll bring them in the morning, promise."

"Thank you guys, goodnight." he sighs emptily. And when they all leave he pushes his armchair right beside your bed, sliding his hand through yours as he watches your chest rise and fall, all he wants to do is hold you, in your own bed, your shared bed...in his arms.

"Oo- sorry, i'm not interrupting, am I?" the nurse coos, quietly shuffling in with a steaming pot of black tea.

"No, thank you." he whispers, "Thanks." he says once more, as she fishes out a blanket for him.

"Don't mention it, we all saw in the exhibit that this is your favourite too, so it's a pleasure."

"It is, and thank you. What is your name?"

"Sofia."

He nods patiently, pouring himself a cup. "Thank you Sofia." She bows and takes her leave, leaving him to drink his tea beside you.

And he speaks to you for hours, hoping that his voice might just coax you awake. "If you were awake, you'd scold me for drinking this, wouldn't you? You'd say that we're supposed to be moving on, right?" Slow isolated tears glide down his cheeks as he pecks little kisses to each of your fingertips. "Thank you for being so patient, I'm so sorry I've kept you waiting all this time, I'm an idiot. But you won't have to anymore...Promise." He gazes down at you, caressing your cheek, and smoothing his thumb over your brow bone. "I love this face... I love you, see, I'll never let go of your hand, remember? Can you even feel me right now?...What did they do to you [name]?"

For the first time in Levi's life he feels inconsolable, he's watched strong soldiers year after year, take the wrong hit to their heads, and then live as little as a week before just drifting away. But you cannot just drift away, and you're not just any soldier, you're you and you're his. "Please wake up, I can't live without you, I think." he stammers, burying his tears into his hands.

"How dare they put their filthy hands on you, when we go home, I'll put you in the bath and scrub it all away, I'll wash you and then I'll read to you, just like you wanted. And I'll be here for you, I'll do anything for you, I'll never go anywhere. Because I'm committed to you, I swear I always was, okay? I swear on everything."

Onyankopon watches him through the foggy glass of the door, eyes widened with his palm splayed over his lips. He's never seen anything like this, especially from Levi. It puts his stomach in knots, how Levi's behaviour has led to this, and by the way he rubs his face against your palm, with such latent need, and the way he leans down to kiss your forehead for what seems like every other second, is all revealing. He's pliant, sedated, calmed. That's somebody in love, Levi...that's Levi in love, Levi's in love. "I suppose he is human then Hange?"

"You've just got to get past his wall, you should see him with [name]." Hange had laughed all those years ago. "See. Look at them!"

Onyankopon fondly recalls the first interaction he'd seen of you two, you'd fell of his horse, and he'd spotted it and rushed to your side. Upon an instant you were kicking him, punching him, and Onyankopon was gasping, "Should she be doing that?! What will he do-" Until you were both playfully sparring and tugging on each other like a pair of carefree teenagers, rolling around in the dirt, no, roughhousing and practically biting the other.

Even amongst the world at the time, watching you both was like taking a much needed breath, and no one even batted an eye at the two of you, this was just normal. It was also the first time Onyankopon had ever seen Levi crack a smile, or seem happy, or even vulnerable. He remembers how he'd pulled you kicking and then just worn out onto his back, and nonchalantly walked off the field to his office when you'd finally given up. And when Onyankopon had entered it hours later, you were cosily tucked in on his sofa, with a number of salves over the lightest of bruises. He'd went to speak, trying to breach that wall just like Hange had said, but he'd put a single finger to his lips and shook his head. And when he told Hange, they'd just laughed, "When it comes to her, Levi would do anything, or he does and beyond...don't forget I told you that."

He speaks to you for hours, reaching somewhere inside because it makes your hand twitch against his at the sound of his voice, but you're too foggy to open your eyes.

Armin, Jean, Mikasa, Pieck, and Connie drunkenly stumble to your house, and they knock for a while, calling for Levi to come and open the door, like he always does, always. But instead just over the street, Munro opens his window and yells out to them. "[Name] went missing and Levi and his friend were looking for her, he must not have found her yet!"

"What do you mean?" Mikasa yells back, running to their front garden. "She's missing?!"

"Yeah! But Levi will find her!" Munro cheers down at them. "I'm sure of it."

"Thank you Munro!" Armin yells up. "Do you know anything else?!"

"Unfortunately not!"

"What do we do?" Jean says. "Where would she be?"

"I guess we wait, it's the best we can do in case she comes back here right? If Levi and Onyankopon are looking then-"

"Hey! You guys can wait in here! It's freezing!"

"Thank you so much guys." Connie bellows up, as he's shivering beside Pieck. Munro runs down to open his door, issuing them all up into his living room, and throwing them out bunches of blankets and pillows.

"This is Leslie, by the way!"

"Ah, okay." Jean nods, the most suspicious of the man only a crack taller than himself.

They all barely sleep, but the alcohol is enough to overpower their worrying minds, and let them get at least a few hours. Mikasa is the worst, sat loyally at the window while wrapped in her blanket, 'keeping an eye out'.

"Coffee?" Leslie offers, and she nods. One by one he pours them all a cup, and they groggily pull themselves to the dining table.

"She'll be fine." Armin sighs, fingers strumming on Jean's thigh until he forcibly stops them.

"Yes Armin, so relax, okay?"

"I'm either hearing things or that's-"

"Is that?" Jean races over to the window and everyone follows.

"Who?"

"Gabi!"

"Hey! Are you all there! We're here to get [name]'s clothes!"

"Her clothes why? Did you find her?" Mikasa yells.

"Come on, go!" They all rush out, practically falling down the stairs as they stop Falco and Gabi at your door.

"Tell us right now."

"She's okay, right?"

"Well she hasn't woken up yet." Falco tells them, sighing when Gabi, squeezes his arm even tighter. "But she'll be fine."

"Huh?"

"How's Levi?" Munro asks.

"He's with her so he's fine." Gabi reassures, "But, you guys should know, she was attacked."

"What the fuck what?"

Mikasa's already rolling up her sleeves, "Who?"

"Are you guys taking her clothes straight to the hospital?"

Falco and Gabi nod, "Then we're fucking coming."

When Levi opens his eyes, his jaw is already clenching, because you're not in his arms, waking him with those soft yawns that fan his neck, or your warm hands that slide under his shirt to tenderly rub at his back. Instead the nurse is greeting him curtly, and only your cold unmoving hand is in his.

"She'll wake up, won't she? You guys are telling me the truth, aren't you?" Because it's half eight in the fucking morning, he wants to say.

"Yes." She says instantly, Levi looks like he's on the brink, she wouldn't dare says anything else. "Sometimes it's less the physical but the emotional why a patient doesn't wake straight away."

"I see." Levi says, clutching his fists.

It's your fault, his brain tells him, this is all your fault.

"She sleeps a lot anyway." he tells her, "all the time, she sleeps in late."

She nods and pats his arm sympathetically. "That makes sense." she mutters, making a point to leave quickly.

Not even an hour goes by, and Levi's up and pacing, waiting, and waiting, with his heart in his throat. When you open your eyes, the blinding light of morning invades them, and the loud pounding in your head makes you wince, but you smile. Because the first thing you see and focus your eyes on is a dark haired man staring reflectively out of the window, your dark haired man. Levi. Your Levi. You can't help but gaze at him. His brows are heavily furrowed, his lips bitten half raw, his hair ruffled. Hands wrapped around either side of the window frame, like he's afraid someone might burst in to try and take you. But so ridiculously handsome nonetheless, and so beautiful in the morning sun.

Did he bring you here? Did he find you?

You look up at the clock, and it reads nine. And so you recall the last time looking at a clock was the one at home, when you'd left at eleven. And the memories of the night before, come flooding back, you remember finding Levi's cravat, getting attacked, the shovel man, and then Gabi, and then blank...But you can forget all that for a moment, "Levi?" you croak out.

"You're awake, talking!" He practically trips over himself, running over to your bed and leaning down to assess you, stroking the back of his hand against your cheek in relief.

You blink slowly, taking him in so close, and turning your face ever so slightly to kiss his fingers. "You're here." You smile weakly. "This is all I wanted."

"And you're awake, you have no idea..." You feel hot tears soak through what appears to be a hospital gown, as he bows his head, barely able to meet your eyes as he quietly sobs into you. "No idea."

"Levi? What's wrong? Hey." You slide your arms around him, your thighs too, hooking right around him, and holding him tight, just the way he likes it.

He heaves a loud sigh through ragged sniffles, "I shouldn't have let you go."

With your arms under his, you pull him in a weak attempt to hoist him up with you. "Don't, just get up here, I'm so cold, and I want you, only you."

He immediately obeys, kicking off his shoes, clambering onto the hospital bed and right into your arms, nuzzling his face in your chest in contentment. "And I want you, only you...Am I hurting you?"

"No, come closer."

"Okay, [name] I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm sorry."

"Are we going through puberty all over again? Because I can't think of a time in my life I've ever been so fucking emotional."

You chuckle, "I missed you, so much." running your hands through his hair, neatening the stray strands and laying kisses upon it. "But I think something like that."

You both know you've faced worse, but for Levi, this felt like everything at once.

"Ahh I forget, we're still becoming people?"

"That's it."

Connie peaks through the window, watching Levi's fingers dawdle up and down your forearms, and you, with one arm hooked around his back and your other smoothing through his hair, as you speak to him softly, pressing kisses while he keeps his head buried into your chest.

"Guys?...I, what...[Name] and Captain...They're in love, aren't they?"

Jean nudges him to look and looks at you taking in a deep inhale of Levi's hair. "Oh, well, yeah, hopelessly so it looks like."

"What? She's awake!" Armin heaves a huge sigh of relief into his palms, rejoicing to himself.

"Don't you have anything to say about them?" Jean asks, and Armin looks at him and fervently shakes his head.

"I think they've been in love all this time."

"Oh."

Mikasa smiles. "Yeah, me too."

They all turn to Onyankopon clicking down the hospital floor, a cheerful smile on his face. "I take it she's awake!" He pushes them all out of the way, peeking through the glass to see you and Levi tightly embraced, you're looking out the window, talking quietly to him, while he remains collapsed tiredly against you. Detonated, coaxed, sweetened, relaxed. "Ah, perfect."

He turns back to them all, removing his hat with his classic grin. "Mm, and to answer your question Connie. Always I think, [name] and Levi, have always been in love."

Hange told me all of it.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction

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jaskierisbi · 3 years

Text

lines and verses from every amazing devil song that hit

King

But our voices collide with each howl of the tide || Singing all hell and its fire waits for us

All that matters || Is that you’re here

Pruning Shears

My entire life it's running away too fast || Watching everyone I've ever loved walk past || Never really quite getting the knack of || Knowing no one will not || Ever come back for you

Shower Day

Would have stayed if you'd had asked || But instead you just walk past

You're the one who told me my hair looked better black || You're the one who told me to never look back || You're the one who asked me if I'm feeling ok || I said I'm fine || It's just a sitting down in the shower day

Leave the room but you get caught in the rain || Know you should love him but it's such a pain || Would have stayed if you'd had asked || But instead you just walk away

Elsa’s Song

I can hear the cannons calling || As though across a dream || And I can smell the smoke of hell || In every stitch and seam || And like flowers, the bodies tumble || Around this muddied lot || I cannot hear them scream || ‘Forget me not.’

Pray

Pray for me, I'll run until I begin to understand || What holy men really mean || When they speak of sin

God made all man in his image || Honey I'm I'm I'm no man || I'm what’s left when children go to war

Run from you, I'll run until I begin to understand || What holy men really mean when they speak of sand and sons and seams and symphonies and sweat and sex and sin

Why you cannot sleep for sighing || Why womanhood is more than crying || I'm stronger now than you have ever known

The cracks you made I fill with mortar || A broken pot can still hold water || Symphonies and sweat and sex mean nothing when you are obsessed || With sin and soil and strength and song and all the words that came out wrong and him

Little Miss Why So

Did you tell them about the time we met little miss || You'll love the way I tell it || And I'll yell it from the rooftops for you || He says

He says || You're going too fast || You'll burn up soon

I don't know how to reach you when you get like this || I've been waiting for you to come home || I don't know how to reach you when you get like this || I've been waiting for you to come home

Why won't you just tell them all to fuck off love and be mine

He says || Why so sad || I'm here and I'm alive || Stop making up death wishes and take my lifeline

Why won't you believe I love you if I'm not hurting you, he says || Can't you see that I'm enough for you but you don't want me to be || 'Cause that means you'll actually have to be content

Why so why so sad || Stop asking why I'm sad just know it's enough to know I'm sad

New York Torch Song

But your blood does not bleed red no more || It's whiter than the sun burns, bright with every hum || From within this gaping wound of ours || A new us has begun. A new us has begun. A new us has begun

Tear me up and burn me up and rip me up and leave your || Hand on the wall as you go

Are you god or devil, ghost dishevelled || Childhood friend or drunken revel

I cannot find the words to keep you || I cannot find the words to keep you

Two Minutes

It's like all the wallpaper inside my heart || Is slowly slowly peeling off || And I'm showing || All the stains and things || They wrote on the wall before

These hands are growing cold ||They're running out of things to hold || Give me two damn minutes and I'll be fine

If I'm good will you come back || If I'm good will you come back || If I'm good will you come back || To us

Not Yet/Love Run

Sing me awake with a song about pirates || And I will try to harmonise || And sip the sunlight from your eyes || Oh sing me awake || With all the things we’ll do today || But instead we’ll build a den || Out of pillows and get drunk again

If my old mum could see me now || Oh how she’d howl she’d howl

Love run, love run || For all the things you’ve done || Run for all the things that drum || Run for all those pages thumbed

Love run, love run || For all the things we wished we’d done || Run from all you know that’s coming || Run to show that love’s worth running to

All that matters || Is that you're here ||All that matters

- - - - - - - - - -

The Rockrose and the Thistle

n/a sorry y’all

The Horror and the Wild

You are that space that’s in between every page, every chord and every screen || You are the driftwood and the rift, you’re the words that I promise I don’t mean

We’re drunk but drinking (sunk but sinking) || They thought us blind (we were just blinking)

Remember me I ask, remember me I sing || Give me back my heart you wingless thing

Think of all the horrors that I || Promised you I’d bring || I promise you, they’ll sing of every || Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child || Witness me, old man, I am the Wild

Wild Blue Yonder

So one last time, love, come and rip my clothes || Get a grip, we're grownups

Come and rip off my socks like you’re blasting the locks off of a bank vault. Halt! || This time we’re done for

Let’s hide under the covers || We don’t know what’s out there || Could be wolves || So hold me, lover, like you used to || So tight I’d bruise you || I’d bruise you, I’d bruise you too

Every stone you threw, I stood on to better see the view

Don't you ever wonder, what could have been? || All those wonders sit in wait for us, we tried

Every brick you hurled, I’ll use to build this world || This world, this world, this world

Welly Boots

And I love you, don’t you know || That I’ll be with you all along, as long as you are kind

And when you scream that it’s not fair || It’s like I’ve gone off to the coast || Left you behind just standing there || Pretending not to see your ghost || If only you could hear my voice || But you are screaming far too loud to hear me swear || Just because I left doesn’t mean that I’m not still there

'Cause you were always strong || When you were young, you’d kick things just to see if they would fall || They said ‘That girl, she’s wrong’ || But I’ll stick up for you, even though you haven’t got a clue, you haven't got a fucking clue

Farewell Wanderlust

He said ‘Hey darling hey, hey darling hey’ || I’m the hardest goodbye that you’ll ever have to say

I promise you I’ll be better || I promise you I’ll try || But like rubbing wine stains into rugs it’s my curse || To try and make it right, but by trying make it worse

I promise you I’m not broken || I promise you there’s more || More to come, more to reach for, more to hurl at the door

Goodbye to all my darkness, there’s nothing here but light || Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night || This here is not make up, it’s a porcelain tomb || And this here is not singing, I’m just screaming in tune

Fair

It’s what my heart just yearns to say || In ways that can’t be said || It’s what my rotting bones will sing || When the rest of me is dead || It’s what’s engraved upon my heart || In letters deeply worn || Today I somehow understand the reason I was born

She laughs as though she’s not heard the joke ten thousand times before || And he adores her, he watches her get dressed as though she’s hurtling through time

And she brushes her hand through his hair, he’s got so much fucking hair

And he holds her close just to keep the world at bay

"It’s not fair, it’s not fair how much I love you || It’s not fair, 'cause you make me laugh when I’m actually really fucking cross at you for something," || And he’ll say || "Oh how, oh how unreasonable || How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do || I spend my days so close to you 'cause if I’m standing here, maybe everyone will think I’m alright,"

'Cause darling I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades

And calm throughout his melodrama, she will turn and say || "Dear heart, it’s me, it's me || You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not || 'Cause it’s not like I’ve never heard you fart and snore || And for some godforsaken reason || I’m still here, love, like I’ve always been before,"

Burying her head into his chest and clinging to the moment || "Where have you been?" she’ll whisper || "I’ve waited oh so long for you to come" || And as the stars above them hum and hear them || He’ll turn to her and say, "That’s what she said"

That Unwanted Animal

You try so loud to love me || I cannot seem to hear || ‘Be good to me,’ I whisper || And you say ‘What?’ || And I say ‘Nothing dear’

I’m the paper cut that kills you || I’m the priest that you ignored || I’m the touch you crave, I’m the plans that you made, but fuck all your plans I’m bored

And you rip my ribcage open || And devour what’s truly yours

'Cause if we join our hands in prayer enough || To God I imagine it all starts to sound like applause

Marbles

And I chipped my teeth on every joke you cracked

You stole the best years of my life || I’ll give them back

'Cause I will wait and hope || Your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep || But a place for crows to rest their feet || And I will wait and hope || And rest my head at night content || Knowing where my marbles went

She sang, ‘Do you think I’m sexy?’ and oh god I really did

Oh, if one more guy calls me darling then I || Swear to you and to god I will murder them all

All the bastards applaud when I show that I’m flawed || You’re not flawed darling, you’re just a little under-rehearsed

I’ve loved you, for a hundred years || Certainly fucking feels like it

The minute I met you, the colours of my life began to pour

And now, even though you’re mad and these memories won’t stay || That's okay || 'Cause then I get to meet you for the first time every single day

Battle Cries

Tell the truth to me, love, does my hair look as nice || As it did when you once tangled up in your eyes? || Look at me as you say this, don’t look at your phone

‘Cause these plates they smash like waves || And the wine stains hide the tears || But that breathing you hear, don't mistake it for sighs || Don’t you realise? They’re just battle cries, dear

And these lines aren’t wrinkles, dear heart || They’re just dollops of paint on a new work of art

And as I walk away, I know I’ve been through the wars || But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause

This isn’t a break up, dear heart, it’s a season finale

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

Note

just watched the ep where april kills cas on my season 9 rewatch and it really hit me that dean has really had to watch cas die right in front of him almost every single time.

Oh yeah (i hate that episode and generally just... avoid it when I can lol).

But how many times has Dean had to watch Cas actually die? Lots! Let's reflect.

He only saw the aftermath of Cas's first explosion in 4.22, but Chuck really played it up with the description (exploded like a water balloon of Chunky soup) and the visual aid of pulling one of Cas's teeth out of his hair... That guy is such a jerk... >.>

(I mean, he also hit Sam in the head with a plunger, but that's neither here nor there)

The first time Dean gets to WATCH Cas die is in 5.22, when Lucifer explodes him again.

He gets to watch Cas die again at the end of 7.01, after he returns the souls to Purgatory. He hadn't looked great moments before, and his dying wish had been for Dean to forgive him (Dean obviously wasn't ready for that, but watching what he believed was Cas dying there sort of pushed him in that direction). He's only down for a minute before he recovers, again. But it's too late anyway because...

Dean gets to watch him die again in the opening scenes of 7.02. Cas is overtaken by leviathans who walk him out into that lake and explode him again. All Dean has left is the trench that he'll lug from stolen junker to stolen junker for most of the rest of the season until he's able to return it to Cas.

Granted, Cas doesn't die in 7.17, but he does the next closest thing by taking on Sam's soul damage and going comatose. Sam was expected to die from this state, but with Cas... Dean just doesn't know what will happen to him, and still has to walk away because they've still got a planet to save.

In purgatory, he didn't see Cas die, but what he did see was so traumatic (Cas CHOOSING to stay behind, not wanting to return with him, as they were surrounded by monsters at the portal) that Dean literally invented a false memory of him failing to pull Cas through the portal and blaming himself for why Cas was left behind (and probably died, as he led Sam to believe in 8.01).

After the angel fall event, when Cas wasn't replying to his prayers, Dean wondered for a bit if Cas might be dead (why else wouldn't he have contacted Dean? In Dean's mind?), and then the incident you mention in 9.03. That... was probably the worst for Dean to date, because Cas had ALWAYS come back to him eventually, but he'd never been human when he'd died, either. The horror of having been SO CLOSE to saving him, and having directly failed him completely was too much.

(we won't even talk about how Dean was manipulated by an angel holding Sam hostage into kicking Cas out on his own after that, but that also tore Dean up inside... thanks to Bobo for 9.06 for showing us that, and showing Dean finally being there JUST IN TIME TO SAVE CAS, tossing the angel blade to him so he could save himself)

It also bothers me that Dean never really knew how bad Cas's grace situation was during s9 and s10, and even during s15 when Cas began to realize that his powers were fading again and directly tried to talk with Dean about that several times. There was always just too much else going on-- in s9 and 10 with the Mark and concern for Dean, and in s15 with worry over Jack, Sam's Equalizer Wound, what Chuck was doing, Billie, etc. They had a lot going on... But I really wish that arc hadn't been abandoned... but again, that's for another post to rant about :'D

By this point, it's 100% logical why Dean gets so upset when Cas disappears and stops returning his calls. He has watched Cas die too many times, and I don't know that he could've lived with himself if he just never heard back from Cas again, you know? (which also makes the series finale entirely implausible, because wtf... knowing what the Empty is and the fact Cas was literally only there because of his love for Dean... and not even expressing a little regret over that let alone feeling compelled to at least TRY to rescue him... it's just not believable to me at all)

But then we have 12.23/13.01... and the grief arc following it. That actually broke him.

Which brings us to 15.09, and believing he'd lost Cas in purgatory again, this time with a definite countdown clock and knowing if he couldn't find Cas and bring him out by the time the portal closed he'd likely never see Cas again. I honestly think if Cas hadn't been waiting for him at the portal that Dean would've just chosen to stay in Purgatory to look for him again, even despite what was going on back on Earth. At least in Purgatory, he knew the deal.

Wait... what were we talking about? Oh right, all the times Dean actually watched Cas die.

Bonus round: We know during s7 at least he had a recurring nightmare of watching Cas wade into the lake to die. I don't know that I could bear to know what the rest of his nightmares were like... How many times did he relive all those deaths in horrific dreamscapes?

Thank you anon, I think this is the most awful route I've ever taken to explore their relationship. New agony at every rest stop! :'D

#destiel #the scheherazade of supernatural #spn 9.03 #i know folks like me to tag for that episode because it's a trigger for a lot of folks...

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pleasantanathema · 3 years

Text

Graves into Gardens | Reiner Braun x Reader | Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Sins of the Past

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Modern AU, spoilers up to season four, slight manga spoilers (only by including characters met later), captivity, mentions of violence, mentions of character death, enemies to lovers, angst, and eventual smut (don’t worry, it’ll come sooner than you think).

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: As promised, here’s chapter two! Chapter three will take a little longer to come your way as I have a final thesis due in a few days. Also, I promise that I’ll give answers to things that have happened in the past between Reiner and reader. Just gotta wait for the right time to reveal it all. 💕

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Reiner laid flat on his back, chest twisting with melancholy as he eyed the lazy ceiling fan. He couldn’t sleep even if he tried, not with the day’s events still so fresh in his mind. Everything happened too quickly, a whirling rush of movements and decisions that left him caught in a purgatory of past and present. When Zeke had kicked your head into the floor, Reiner instinctively put pressure on the trigger of the gun squeezed too tightly in his hand. He wondered if things would be easier if he had taken the situation into his own hands and not let you live to torment him another day.

Though, he knew the ghost and the guilt would haunt him even more than your living presence.

That saying was rolling around in his brain, the one his mother always used to recite whenever he’d get into mischief as a child, be sure your sins will find you out.

Well, they had, and one of his biggest regrets was now asking him about fucking Marco Bott. How long had it been since he heard that name? The Scouts had stopped muttering it even before the boy’s blood ran cold. He still remembered the smell of gun smoke, remembered how Bertie had fallen into his chest and cried at the horror of it all.

But there was nothing new to be said about that past, yet even still, Reiner feared that you already knew what had been left unsaid.

He hadn’t even bothered to undress, just let his weight sink into his mattress until his restlessness got the better of him. He knew his agonies would call to be smothered, that his frustrations would lead to him marching down the same hallway to face the inquiries of an equally troubled mind.

He debated going to Zeke first. He knew his comrades would still be up in the meeting room, sleep and disgust in their eyes. Last he checked in, the Chief had Bertie scribbling on the whiteboard as he threw out all the notions and ideas that they had on how to break you down, on what you could possibly know that would be of interest to them. Reiner hadn’t stayed long enough to watch the black ink dry—he didn’t want them to pry into his time with you. He’d told them just enough: you didn’t give him anything worthwhile other than admitting you might speak if you were fed information from their side as well. When he’d left, the last thing written out in bold letters was a list of lies to feed you.

Reiner was going to end this shit. One way or another, you were going to disappear from his life again; he was going to throw you back into the sea of the past where you belonged, dead or alive.

A sick pride boiled inside of him as he saw the shock and fear spread across your pretty face as he threw open the heavy metal door. Good, you should be scared of him.

He spoke your name with a bitterness he’d become too familiar with, dragging a chair from against the wall to sit directly in front of your iron cage.

He’d only been gone a few hours, yet you already looked more tired, a little more frail, like if he screamed too loudly you might melt into a puddle where you sat on the floor.

Too much time alone with nasty thoughts can make you weak, that much he knew all too well.

He cleared his throat, cracking his knuckles beneath his fist, “Listen to me. You talk now, and maybe I’ll be merciful and kill you quickly before the others get the chance to come pick at your bones.”

“You know my stipulation, Braun,” he watched your eyes narrow, determination coating your voice, “answer my question and I’ll answer yours. Let me die knowing the truth about—”

“There is no truth about Marco.”

“I know you had something to do with it. I kept finding holes in your story, and now that I know who you really are, I have no doubt that there’s something you aren’t telling me.”

An angry sigh rushed out of his nose. He didn’t know what he was thinking coming back here so soon, why did he ever suspect that you’d ease up on this issue? He should’ve known that all your disdain for him began when that idiot got himself killed.

“Marco was cute and clumsy, you know that. He was in the wrong place at the wrong—”

“No, he wasn’t!” you sat up on your knees, shackled hands shaking, “I trained that kid myself. I know he knew how to use his gear; I know he wouldn’t just…he couldn’t have gotten into that situation alone.”

“You’re running out of time. Stop wasting your breath on something as useless as Marco Bott.”

He could tell there were more words brewing in your mouth, but you were swallowing them down.

Reiner leaned his elbows on his knees, burdensome back hunching as he debated what to do here. He watched you closely for a moment, saw how you were constantly shifting your weight, fidgeting with the cuffs around your wrists. Bruises were blooming on your skin, especially around the tender flesh of your fingers where he had crushed them earlier. A vile mixture of remorse and compassion spread down his nerves at the sight of you.

“My friends don’t know I’m here,” he admitted, observing how your still brilliant eyes looked up at him.

“I was once your friend, you know.”

You spoke the words so slowly, so dolefully that he actually felt them begin to pierce at his heart.

“We were never friends.”

That much, he knew, was a lie.

━━━─── • ───━━━

“Reiner,” your tongue pressed against the back of your teeth as you stared into his golden eyes. He felt dangerous, fingers mean against your flesh, digging into your thigh, petting at the column of your throat.

But you felt protected, secure, your hands threatening to tear at the buttons of his shirt from how tightly you clung to him. You craved a comfort that you’d come to find from being pressed against his body.

“I’d kill someone for you, I hope you know that.”

You wondered if the same memory was playing in his mind, behind his older, more noble face. You felt them, the sins of your past, like a heavy string binding the two of you together in this cold room. You knew there were feelings you could tug on, emotions that could have you both tumbling to the floor and wishing that the past could be washed away. But there were too many scars, too many faults that bound you together, wounds that time could not heal.

And you knew your time was running thin.

Selfishness reared its ugly head. You wanted to live, you needed to get back to Paradis, back into the arms of the people you loved. You didn’t want to die because of your stubbornness, or out of some forged loyalty that you knew friends would even give up if it meant being together one last time.

“We know about the arms trading,” you conceded, head hanging low.

You heard his chair scrape against the floor as he sat to attention.

“How?”

You thought about all the carefully considered words that you’d played in your mind earlier. You couldn’t give too much, but you had to lay enough on the table to make yourself valuable, to perhaps make yourself trustworthy. You needed to sprinkle lies into the truth, give a little in hopes of taking a lot.

“Not everyone knows. It has been an investigative project I’ve been working on with Erwin and Miche…” you sucked in a deep breath, eyes closing, “we only figured it out because it came up as we were inquiring into the legitimacy of the President of Paradis. We’re pretty sure he’s a pawn, that there’s some untouchable group of aristocrats pulling his strings and ruling the nation from the shadows.”

You waited patiently to see if he had any remarks, but the brooding man before you stayed silent. You could feel the weight of his gaze, scrutinizing, curious, perhaps disappointed that you’d be willing to give away secrets so easily.

“That’s what you can give to Yeager. Tell him that…tell him that I’m tired of working and killing for a government that I can’t trust, whose true intentions I don’t know. Tell him I’m willing to work with him.”

“And why would he be interested in that? You’re much more valuable as an information source than an agent.”

You finally lifted your face to him then, a bold trepidation creeping over your skin.

It was now or never.

“Reiner, what I have to say next is something I’ve saved only for you. You can do with it what you will, but I beg of you, be careful with it. This could hurt you as much as it could hurt me in the long run.”

Part of you expected him to leave again, to bristle at the thought of hearing something he doesn’t want to know.

But he stayed, brows wrinkling together as he studied you before him. You felt like a beggar at his feet, spreading out all you carried in hopes that it was enough to appease the executioner before you.

“Tell me,” he demanded, “though I make no promises to keep it silent.”

You felt your courage implode. You almost wanted to gobble up your information and let it rest inside you forever to be gnawed at by your conscience.

But if there were any fragments left of the man you once knew, of the Reiner Braun who had once held you so dearly, you knew that he would latch on to your words.

“Zeke—your war chief—is working with Paradis. He’s plotting something so devious that even Erwin can’t pinpoint what it is, but we are certain he has contacts within the government that go beyond securing weapons for Marley.”

You took a moment to pause, to let what you were saying sink into that thick skull of his.

“Reiner, something seriously fucked up is going to happen if we don’t figure out what’s happening. And what’s happening is bigger than us—it’s bigger than all the shit we’ve been through. Help me, or it will be more than just me dying.”

You surveyed him as he straightened his broad shoulders, rolling them like a predator who was examining his prey. You’d just offered your life to him, held it out on willing hands with perhaps irresponsible words.

You held in a sob as he left wordlessly, leaving his empty chair behind.

━━━─── • ───━━━

Reiner sat with his arms crossed, trying to keep his face neutral as he watched Bertie haphazardly stretch his long arms across the board to erase of their previous work, writings of threaten Erwin, reveal the past of Paradis, and remove the bucket so she can’t piss all being wiped away from thought. He wondered, for a moment, if his friends were idiots, or just wasting time because they knew he’d wander back into her orbit sooner or later.

He’d come straight to them, of course, straight to his trusted comrades and announced he’d managed to pry your lips open.

Sans torture, he had stressed to Galliard.

But he had sat on the real information you gave him, letting your confessions about Zeke fester in his mind.

Part of him wanted to believe you; he’d always been wary of his superior officer, always knew that his cunning and depravity could lead them all down a path of no return one day. But another part of him thought you were toying with him, trying to manipulate his doubts and sow seeds of skepticism into his mind. You’d always been so capable of getting whatever you wanted, always had a charm for subtle exploitation.

“How can we believe any of this?” Annie berated, lighting a cigarette in the room despite knowing it was against Zeke’s rules.

“Because we know she’s close to Erwin, close to the brass that runs the Scout Police Force,” Reiner countered.

“More like she has always been up his ass, probably in his fucking bed too.”

Reiner didn’t like the image that flashed in his mind, didn’t like the thoughts of the Commander running his hands across your skin, of you tangled in his sheets. He chided himself, worried it was a jolt of jealousy, but at this point, he could never distinguish his emotions anymore.

“Annie,” Zeke hushed her, finally taking a seat at the rounded table instead of pacing a hole into the floor, “everything she has said adds up. I’ve kept our arms trading as quiet as I can, but if those little rats were going around interrogating congressmen, then it’s very possible one of them squealed on our operations just to keep their puppet president in power.”

“So, it’s true then?” Bertholdt chimed in, shaking a marker within his aching fingers as he paused from taking notes, “that the government of Paradis is basically a sham.”

“I’m afraid so.”

And how do you know that? Reiner wanted to question, wanted to prod at the smug man who was waving cigarette smoke from his face.

“So, what are we going to do with her?” Reiner finally addressed the elephant in the room, pulling at the last remaining thread to this horrible game they had gotten themselves into.

“We’ll keep using her, of course. Though I don’t think she will give anything else up so freely. We need to give her some hope that we trust her, that she’s going to live through this little nightmarish web we’ve caught her in.”

Reiner didn’t like the tone in Zeke’s voice. He seemed too relaxed, too humored by it all.

It was at this time that Pieck wandered into the room, carefully balancing a crutch underneath her arm. She was carrying that soft smile of hers, leaning against the wall momentarily before also settling at the table.

“A little birdy told me what all is going on,” she turned her grin to Galliard, whose chest puffed at his recognition, “Sorry I couldn’t make the last mission, Chief, the old leg just couldn’t handle it. But, I do have a suggestion to your little, hm, captive issue here.”

The room felt tense, everyone focusing on the small woman as her prim cheerfulness refused to fade.

“Let her free, under supervision, of course. Turn our old reconnaissance mission on its head; watch an outsider from inside our group, see if we can get her comfortable enough to open up again.”

“Yes, exactly, Pieck!” Zeke let out a hearty laugh as he smacked the table with an open palm, wicked delight brightening over his features. He ran his fingers through his blonde ponytail, like he was settling into relief.

Reiner felt his heart sink into his stomach, acid tearing at its flesh.

“And it seems we have just the man for the job, seeing that he magically got the little vexation to open her mouth.”

“No.”

Reiner gritted his teeth, jaw flexing at the thought of being your god damn babysitter.

“Oh yes,” Zeke fished around in his pocket then, pulling out a set of keys and sliding them across the table. Reiner didn’t move, just let the clinking metal fall into lap and sink into his thigh.

“Go let her out of her cage, let her know we’ve agreed to take up her offer of help, but only if she follows orders and stays in your sight.”

“Don’t you think a woman is more suited to this?” Annie chirped, carelessly smothering her cigarette out directly onto the table, hot ash settling into the grooves of oak.

“You already passed on this task, sweetheart. Besides, it seems she might find Braun a little more tolerable after all.”

━━━─── • ───━━━

And all this, all these words, all this fucking time passed, led to Reiner standing before you once again. His head rested against the rusted iron; grip so tight around the metal bars he worried he might actually bend them.

He’d relayed the messages, but ensured you that this fucking Zeke business had stayed behind tight lips.

When he opened his eyes, his vision focused on you, still sitting, an almost dumbfounded look on your tilted, tired head.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him, a sincerity he wasn’t used to pooling in his ears, dripping down his skin.

“Don’t thank me yet. There are still long nights ahead of you.”

Ahead of him, he recognized.

All he wanted was for you to disappear, to be washed away, but it seemed you were about to become a permanent stain on his life—a living, breathing body to remind him of the past he had left in the dark depths of his mind to rot.

Be sure your sins will find you out, he mused, looking at a sin that might be too tempting not to partake of.

Next Chapter

#reiner braun #reiner #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #reiner x you #reiner braun x you #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #snk reiner #snk reiner braun #AoT #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #aot reiner #aot reiner braun

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xbunnybunz · 3 years

Text

WEAK HERO UNIVERSITY (3/?) [READER X WEAK HERO]

Summary: I know you assholes are crying now that the first season of Weak Hero is over. But you’ve got other things to focus on, like where the fuck you’re going to live after getting kicked out of your old dorm. Luckily, you’ve found one last open room on the other side of Weak Hero University. What could possibly go wrong?

Genre: Romance, Humor, Slice of Life

Date: 7/12/2021

You’re dully unaware of how many people are allowed into a cramped dorm room before it becomes a fire hazard, but you are almost completely sure that the rule has now been broken.

Gray pushes through the mass of bodies wedging themselves between your bed and the desk, a damp, cold rag in his hands.

“Let me see.”

You grit your teeth and stare up at the ceiling, holding back the urge to toss yourself out the window. Of course this would happen, you don’t even know why you’re surprised! It was just your luck to completely obliterate your toe in front of cute guys you had just met.

You reach down towards your sock and then freeze, eyeing them wearily.

“Wait… You guys aren’t like, feet people… Right?”

Eugene furrowed his eyebrows and looked to everyone else. “What do you mean? We all have feet.”

Gerard made a face, or well—as much as a face as you can see, and you fluster, immediately regretting asking the question.

“Shit. Never mind. That was a stupid question, just pretend I didn’t say anything.” What? No one can blame you, too many years on deviantart would make anyone paranoid!

You hook your fingers onto the elastic of the sock and pull it off your right foot.

The moment your sock comes off, both Ben and Alex rattle your eardrums with a shriek. Alex covers his eyes and Ben dramatically falls onto his knees beside the bed.

“The whole thing is purple, Ben, you dumbass!” Alex cried, peeking out from between his fingers. “She’s going to need to amputate her toes!”

Ben clasped his hands together in front of you, bowing his head to the floor. “I’m so sorry! I’m terrible! I’ll take full responsibility! I’ll even give you my toes!”

“Uhm, you guys—” Eugene lifts a shaky finger but is interrupted by the earth-shattering slap Alex lands on the back of Ben’s head, eyes teary with emotion, “Dammit Ben, no one would want your big ugly goblin toes!”

Absolutely flabbergasted at their reactions, you flinch back, eyes wide as Ben clasped both his large hands over yours, bottom lip quivering.

“Please forgive me (Y/N)! You’re too pretty to be missing toes!”

What the fuck does that even mean?!

Mind working in overdrive and face burning hot, you swallow and try to stutter out an explanation, nearly going cross-eyed at the insane amount of pressure suddenly thrust upon you. Did Alex just give Ben brain damage? Did Ben just call you pretty? Were those two things related? What the hell was going on!?

Gray pulls a sobbing Ben off of you, lips pressed into a thin line.

“You two are freaking her out. You need to calm down.”

“But—!” Ben starts, voice trembling, “Her toes! I crushed her—!”

Gerard sighs, turning his face away from the scene, clearly too tall and cool and in need of a haircut to be suffering from secondhand embarrassment. “You guys… That’s just nail polish.”

Ben turns to Eugene for confirmation and Eugene rubs the back of head sheepishly, an awkward smile plastered on his face. “I tried to tell you guys.”

Alex approaches Grey, peeking over his shoulder and almost sounding a bit disappointed. “Wait, so… We don’t need to call an ambulance?”

Grey shakes his head, no. His pale hair catches the light and you suddenly notice how incredibly pretty he is. “It won’t be necessary. But we still might need to speak to the Hall Assistant…”

A slender hand reaches up and delicately turns your foot towards him, revealing a nasty reddish-purple bruise forming just under the ball of your feet.

The group behind Gray cringes back simultaneously.

Alex lets out a low whistle, clicking his tongue. “That one’s gonna be hard to walk on, (Y/N).”

Eugene sighs, eyebrows knitting together. “Yeah, last time I got something that bad, I needed to use a wheelchair for a week.”

“Dude, wasn’t the wheelchair because Teddy accidentally threw a coke bottle at your crotch?” Alex asks.

Eugene turns to him sharply, whispering something reminiscent of “girls” and “not now” while gesturing to you avidly.

“We’re going to need to get ice.” Grey says, ignoring the arguing in the back.

He lowers the damp rag onto your foot. You wince and flex all the muscles in your leg, trying not to contort your feet in pain. Lavender eyes meet yours and you begin to wonder if you had misjudged him for side eyeing your ziplock baggie of waterlogged notes. “How are you feeling?”

Well, to be honest you were feeling pretty damn good right now. You’ve never had so many attractive guys paying attention to you at once, even if it was because of a fucked-up foot. You, one. University? Zero!

Of course, you weren’t about to say this. Instead, you gulp, wiggling your toes just to make sure nothing was broken.

You turn to Grey with doeful eyes. “Well, everything is still connected. I think I’ll be able to walk, maybe with some… Extra support?”

He lifts the damp rag off your foot and contemplates a bit, placing a finger under his chin.

“Why don’t you try standing up?”

He moves to give you some space and you swing your legs off the bed, moving quite feebly to put on a show and hopefully getting the world’s hottest crutch out of it.

Unfortunately, you were so preoccupied with putting on an act that you forgot which foot was actually injured. You place all your weight onto one foot before you realize you’ve gone and fucked yourself and feel the shock of pain immediately.

Your knee gives out, sending you flailing like a circus monkey on a tricycle, except you weren’t a circus monkey on a tricycle because at least those were cute, you were just a clumsy buffoon with one foot, too lazy to pick up her own belongings and finally paying the price for it.

“Shit!”

You’re entirely prepared to just give up life and become a fully concussed vegetable at this point, but instead of the sweet embrace of death, you get the sweet embrace of a himbo instead. An arm catches you by the waist before you can hit the floor and pulls you back up to his chest, the scent of a woody cologne punching you in the face.

When you look up, you’re met with Ben’s gaze. His reddish brown hair and chocolate eyes are a lot more overwhelming up close, and it doesn’t help that you suddenly recall him calling you pretty while he snotted over your bed. You stiffen like a board.

“Uhm. Hey.” You say, definitely not awkwardly at all.

He flusters, tips of his ears turning red. He swallows thickly and his adams apple bobs up and down.

“Hey.”

He averts his eyes and looks anywhere but at you, doing what you think is an attempt at whistling nonchalantly. It was in no way nonchalant. In fact, you weren’t sure if he even knew how to whistle, he was kind of just blowing spit out of puckered lips. With both of you distracted, neither of you realize his grip was becoming slack with his inattentiveness.

“…Ben.” Grey warns, albeit softly, but alas, he’s too late and too damn quiet.

He drops you like it’s hot and everyone else watches in horror as your head connects like deadweight with the metal frame of the bed, a loud and resounding “CLING!” bouncing off the walls and reverberating in the room like a haunting testament to assured braincell loss.

Your vision swims and darkness begins to bleed into your periphery. The last thing you hear is Gerard’s voice echoing in your brain,

“Hey man, is that my shirt you’re using as a rag?”

#weak hero university #weak hero x reader #webtoon weak hero #weakhero #weak hero #reader insert #fanfiction

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into-crazy · 4 years

Text

horror and chill

Ledger!Joker x Female Reader one shot

Summary: You and J watch a horror flick. Eventually you both grow bored, turning your attention onto one another. You don't make it through the movie.

Warnings- Cursing, NSFW, SMUT, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, light knife play, spanking, use of the word daddy(once), unprotected sex, brief degradation, choking, light blood play, J style fluff, ages 18+

This sort of popped into my head while I was watching a scary movie. I'm a sucker for watching horror movies in the dark. Let's just say my self indulgences deff kicked in with this one whew! Also forewarning, it’s very long.

The month of October has always been a favorite for you. That time of the year when Autumn is in full effect. The air outside is cooled down, where it's not too hot and not quite cold yet. Seasonal items return with a comeback, available to stock up on- whether they be edible goodies or scented candles. Then, of course, there's Halloween. Or spooky season, as the kids like to call it.

That special time where watching horror movies is an absolute must. Ordering takeout, nothing on but panties and an oversized tee, cuddling on the couch with a blanket, turning out all of the lights, and blasting the volume on the television to get the full effect. Yeah, it's one of your most prized traditions.

You and Joker have been together for well over year now. Let's just say he was around this time last year. He knew of your passion for this month, but he hasn't fully experienced it with you. Since that was a point where your relationship- if that's what you want to call it- was still fresh. Too early to establish complete trust and understanding in one another. Actually, you believe that still may be the case for J.

Not that you have anything against it. He's a highly complex and guarded man, he has a difficult time trusting people. In fact, he doesn't. But he's allowed you- and no one else- to come this close into his life, and it's pretty damn close. He trusts you enough and he's trying. There's nothing you'd ever do to betray that. You've come to accept it'll take a longer period before you'd get there fully.

Though it can be rough sometimes, you've had your fair share of fights. But he's never given you a reason to leave. You trust him, you've grown to love him. And while J would never confess to it, would never say it aloud, he adores you. He shows it in everything that he does for you. As for love, you've become aware and accepted that the word doesn't apply to him. He can't love. And that's okay.

Fast forward over to now, already a week into October. It's a Saturday night, and you're ready to continue your cherished routine, but with your beloved J. You've only watched two horror flicks thus far. Both nights had been alone, minus him and the takeout. He's been busy with his usual chaotic jobs, which kept him out later hours into the night. However you don't care about that right now, he called and informed you that he'll be home for tonight's showing.

"An' don't ah, don't ya dare start without me." J warned on the other end of the phone line.

"Well then you better hurry back," you playfully teased into the phone, "I already ordered the pizza and the movie is set to play."

That conversation ended about forty minutes ago. You sat on the couch in your shared apartment, waiting for him. Everything good to go, pizza has arrived, scented candles are lit, movie ready to proceed at the click of a button, and the lights are off- save for the small lamp by the entryway. The overall setting feeling eerily, just how you like it. It also feels quite romantic, which is a bonus.

You're wearing one of J's dress shirts with a blush thong underneath. Wrapped snug in a huge fluffy blanket in your designated spot(rightfully decided by you as this was your apartment first). Since he prefers to keep the apartment cold, you tend to get chilly a lot. Which was fine considering you have J and a vast selection of blankets to keep you warm. Currently, you have the blanket. All that's missing is J.

What's taking him so long? I'm gonna start the movie, I don't care. He'll just have to deal with it.. and I'm not rewinding it either.

You began to ponder while sitting in silence. Fingers tapping impatiently on the remote, debating whether or not you should carry on without him. With a loud huff, you glance over at the pizza box on the small table directly in front of you. In the amount of time you've waited, you managed to eat two slices already.

Then, you heard the familiar ruffling noise at the front door. The sound of the lock hurriedly being turned getting you to shoot your eyes towards it without moving your head. The door swings open and in walks J in all his glory, quickly shutting and locking the closure behind him.

"I'm home-ah!" A lilt in his voice as he exaggerates his arrival.

"You're late," you return displeasingly.

He narrows his glare at you, "well uh, hello to you too."

Rolling your eyes, you motion with your fingers, "I was this close to starting the movie without you. What took you so long?"

J works on shrugging off his plum trench coat. "What can I say? It was such a ah, easy breeze to get here." He throws sarcastically.

Shaking your head, you laugh, "I'm sorry J, I didn't mean to sound rude. I just missed you is all." You really do appreciate the extra efforts he goes through to make sure he gets here safe and undetected. To not be traced or followed. Be it by his fellow rivals, Gotham police, and in some cases- the Batman.

"Yeah doll, I know," he licks his lips, "I know." You watch him remove a few of his other articles to get more comfortable. His face paint isn't too disheveled which tells you his day went rather smoothly. Or as he prefers to call it- boring.

You open up the blanket to make space for him. Patting the empty spot right next to you, "hurry and get over here, pizza's getting cold."

Left in his purple slacks, dress shirt, and socks, he shuts off the last light before making his way over to plop onto the couch next to you. He allows you to snuggle against him. With the cover behind him, he doesn't feel the need to wrap himself in it. You, on the other hand, have your end burrito wrapped over you. Finally, you stick your hand out the blanket to hit play on the remote.

Twenty minutes in, you were beginning to grow less and less interested in the film. Nothing but a predictable storyline with a bunch of weak jump scares. Not to mention the overly cheesy acting. Though it wasn't completely terrible, it had a few good points to it. However this film probably won't make it onto your rewatch list. You failed to previously read the reviews for this one like you normally would when picking a new movie to watch. The plot sounded good when you had read it. Oh well, you gave it a shot.

J wasn't fond of the movie either. He's actually more bored of it than you are. Occasionally would he exhale blatantly or comment on one of the bad moments that came across. This. Is. Torture. He thought to himself staring blankly at the screen. And not the good kind. Alas, he'll bite his tongue and miserably sit through another hour because it is your movie night, and he knows how much this means to you.

You can't help but feel bad for having him sit through this with you- for you. Soon, you lost total interest in the film and your mind began to drift.. elsewhere. To his hand, resting freely between your soft thighs. His palm feels so warm against your flesh. But that's just J- always giving off heat. He's like your own personal heater. Sometimes warming you to the point you don't even need a blanket because it becomes too hot. Speaking of which, you removed the cover, preferring his signature warmth over the fabric's any day.

Your fingers start to brush lightly on his wrists and knuckles. The subtle touch earns you half smile followed with a pleased hum, which you see in your peripheral vision. He hasn't caught on yet, but your need for him is building fast.

You scooch closer to him in attempt to get his hand where you need it most without him catching on just yet. It didn't work, his hand isn't touching you. It's right there, mere millimeters away. Thinking about how amazing his hands feel when he touches you. When he grants you with friction as he rubs your throbbing clit. The wonderful spots he reaches when he relentlessly fucks you with those paint speckled fingers. Curling them deep, making you writhe and cry beneath him.

Clamping his wrist, your breath hitches at the thought. Shit. That was audible. For a split second, you thought you might have blown it. But Joker took it as something from the film frightening you.

"Quiet doll," he shushes, "you an' I both know the ah, movie ain't scary."

Fuck, you can't take it anymore. You want him to touch you. With a slight roll of your hips, you manage to get his hand to brush against your clothed heat. The smallest bit of friction causes you to release a muffled whimper.

J's arm stiffens and his face instantly snaps to look at you. You seize, halting your movement. No question, he felt what you did, sees the burning desperation in your eyes. Tossing his head back, he erupts in a delighted, high pitched cackle. "Oh-" more cackling laughter as he glances at you again, "so that's what that was." A malicious smirk spreads his scarred cheeks. He firmly grips the inside of your thigh, pulling you against him. "What happened bunny? Growin' needy?" Cupping your clothed mound, his fingers rub you teasingly.

"Yeah," you admit, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. Tightening your thighs around his wrist. Would've been no use lying to him when he'd easily seen and felt otherwise.

His rubbing comes to an abrupt stop. He taunts, "Ahh, this was your idea, hm. You were the one keen on a movie night, remember?"

"I know, but-"

"Ah-ta-ta," He cuts you off, "But nothing. This is what ya wanted, so that's what we'll do. We'll ah, sit here and watch."

Suddenly, he lifts you, effortlessly moving you into his lap. You yelp as your back is pressed flush against his torso. He separates your legs apart, you can feel his cock beginning to harden under you, pushing into the plush of your ass. One hand wraps around your chest, to roughly knead your breasts. The other slides under the shirt, gliding over your abdomen, down between your legs. To rub harsh circles on your excited clit through the thinly soaked fabric of your underwear.

"Ahh- fuck!" You whine, throwing your head back to rest on his shoulder, reaching around to grip his green locks.

J starts to kiss and nip his way down your neck. Leaving dark patches into your skin, accompanied by red and white splotches- completely marking you. Once he was satisfied with his marks, he leans closely by your ear. "You're dripping, doll," he whispers huskily, his hot breath brushing against your neck. "Now, you will sit here and watch the flick like a good girl, while I play with this needy little cunt of yours. No fussin' or fightin'. Got it?"

"Mhm, yes sir," you answer. Biting back the urge to smile at the thought of finally getting what you want. Fighting it off because, let's be real here, you know with J, it never comes along that easy. But he always makes it damn well worth it.

"Good, now sit still." He growls lowly onto your neck. With that, he pushed your panties to the side and began his torture. His fingers transitioning from fucking your aching hole to rubbing the drenched digits on your throbbing clit. Whispering twistingly sweet and dirty words into your ear while he slathers your own arousal all over your pussy.

He'd bring you close, on the verge of your orgasm, only to stop his movements entirely. Tearing it away from you before you could fall over that edge into pure ecstasy. You grew more and more frustrated each time he'd do that. Though you haven't fully, but you're rapidly losing your composure. Which already may be broken. Sweat is forming on your hairline, tears are prickling your eyes, your breath is starting to hitch. Starting to want it so bad you're teetering towards retaliating to get what you crave.

Joker's counting on it. He thrives on edging you, demands the control over you. As much as he prefers having you entirely at his mercy, he likes it when you lash back. Finds it rather amusing, makes for something a little bit more interesting. See how far you'll go before you snap so beautifully.

And that's now.

You start to buck your hips against his fingers that are going in and out of your pussy, along with his thumb assaulting your clit. Feeling that powerful knot reforming, you need to orgasm. "Oh f-fuck! Please!" You start pleading, "I-I can't take it anymore. Please J, l-let me cum!"

"You wanna cum?" He hints, removing his chin from your neck.

"Yes, God- yes please!" You cry out, clawing your nails into his thighs. Clamping down to gain better leverage. The wild rolling of your hips gets your ass brushing more against his hardened cock. Your arousal had already soaked through his pants a long time ago.

"Fuck," he hisses through gritted teeth, digging his fingers hard into your hip that's sure to leave an array of dotted bruises. He bucks absently into you, licking a wet, hot trail up your neck. "Mm, dirty girl. So you wanna play that game-ah?"

He moves his fingers faster and harder. Even over the loud volume from the television could the wet squelching sounds deriving from his ministrations be heard. The air filled with the scent of sex- your sex. So desperate and ready to let go and orgasm. It's driving you crazy.

"P-please- Ahh! Can I cum?" You plead. Hoping he'll reward you at least for asking.

"You can cum. Go on, babygirl. Cum on my fingers." He finally grants, fingers continuing to get you to ecstasy.

Well you didn't have to be told twice.

You release with a broken cry, orgasm gushing out onto his digits. Drenching the fabric of his pants beneath you. Your body spasming madly over his own while you ride out your high.

Coming down, J removed his hand from your pussy. His fingers are glistening, coated in your cum. He sticks them into your mouth. "Clean my fingers of the mess you made," he growls the command in your ear. Groaning in approval when you comply. Eagerly licking and sucking his digits clean of your juices. "Come here," he grabs your face, turning your head, making you look at him. "Give me a taste."

He kisses you, shoving his tongue into your mouth to savor the taste of your delectable juices. You kiss him back feverishly. One hand fisting in his hair, the other goes to stroke his cock. Still clothed, still hard. The action causing him to snarl against your lips, "such a greedy little thing. Always ah, wanting more. Ya just can't get enough of me, huh?"

"Never," you huff with a grin, "and telling by this-" you rub him again, "neither could you." His eyes snap to glare into yours viciously. Ohh, he's gonna make you pay for that snarky remark.

With hasty movements, J turns you around so that you're now facing him. Straddling his lap. He tears the shirt that adorned your body open, buttons flying to scatter the couch and floor. Someone's gonna have to sew those back on later, most likely you. He removes the shirt from you, carelessly tossing it aside.

With the large article gone, it granted him with a better view of the mess you made on his custom, pricey slacks. His entire crotch and thigh area is completely drenched in your juices. He gave a sigh which tried to make him sound annoyed or displeased. However, with the straining bulge pushing against you below, you know that was far from the case. His eyes traveled to land on your barley covered pussy, he groaned at the sight. The flimsy fabric of your thong sticking to one of your wonderful, wet lips. Your orgasm, still dribbling out your cunt.

He hooked a finger under the thin strap hugging your hip, pulling far enough only to have it fall and snap against you. Chuckling at your slightly startled reaction. "Bad girl. Misbehaving, talking back, making a mess of my pants? These aren't exactly 'buy at the store' ready. Maybe I should put your dirty mouth to use and have you suck your own juices up, hm?"

"I misbehaved?" You mock a pout, fully knowing what you did. Regardless, asking anyway.

His kneads the plush of your ass roughly. The callousness of his hands making you shiver in his grasp. You may think this position is in your favor, that you could use it to your advantage. But Joker's got you right where he wants you. The stern look in his blackened eyes and the firm hold he's got on you make that known. "You ah- were supposed to make it through the film without so much as a fuss. Remember that?"

"I was?" Your fingers ghost up his chest, "I don't remember that part." Now you're pushing it. He notices the smile threatening to creep your face. One of his hands shoots up to grasp a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back, exposing your marked neck.

"Yes," he acknowledges slowly trailing his lips up your throat, "yes you do. You just chose to be a brat and not listen." His tone is dangerous, and it would've been absolutely frightening had you been anyone else instead of the only person he cares about in his life. Even though he'd never verbally admit that, frustrating as it is for him, he does care. He does. Which is why whenever you feel that tingle dubbed as fear creep up your spine, you still hold assurance. The flesh of his scars brush the underside of your chin, making you moan unabashedly. "Ya know I gotta punish you for that."

J uses his hold on your hair and hip to guide you to lay over his lap, your naked stomach pressed against his wet thighs, and most of all, his erection. He reaches over to the small table beside the couch, plucking an item you assume to be one of his signature knives. The distinct clicking sound indicates you were correct. It's a switchblade.

He drags the razor sharp blade along your spine until it reaches your underwear, almost on the verge of slicing into you. The thrill gets your heart pounding faster in your chest and ears. You love it when he cuts you, and he's aware of that. But this is a punishment, so you won't be getting what you want.. least not yet. Placing it under the strap, he tears the article to shreds, carelessly nicking you a few times in the process. Alright, so the little nicks he can't control. Those just come naturally. Tossing the ruined fabric aside, he palms your ass cheeks, favoring a spot to start spanking. "Count. We'll ah, stop when I decide you've had enough."

His palm came down hard against your ass, sending an electrifying jolt through your entire body causing you to yelp. "One!" You count. The stinging grew worse with each spank. He hit you hard, but it wasn't anything you couldn't bare. Warm tears steamed down your reddened cheeks. It hurt in a wonderful way, your pussy leaking more arousal as it progressed. He continued to spank you until he grew bored of hearing the same cries and whines.

"Last one bunny," he subtly praised, soothing over the bright marks in your flesh that are starting to welt and bruise. With that, his hand came down a final time. This one stinging the worst.

"Fif- fifteen." You manage to rasp, mind overcome with the lust you had building up. At this point you need him inside you. You need his cock buried deep in your aching core and you need him now. "Please f-fuck me J. I need you!" Your body arched into his as you begged.

J snickered, "need me huh? How bad?" His hand went back to your abused ass to shove you forward, so that your pelvis was atop his as he purposely rolled his erection against your painfully heated sex. The friction drawing a long, strained moan from your lips which pleased him. "Tell me bunny. How, how bad do ya need my cock?"

"Bad- oh so fucking bad- I need your cock! P-Please J, please daddy, fuck me!" You practically shout, resorting to the word daddy. A word which you hardly use, but do when need be. And now was a time of great need.

A snarl left his lips as he yanks you off briefly to undo his pants and shove them down. His cock finally free from the uncomfortable confines, he sighs with relief as he takes it into his hand, pumping a few times. The tip, red and angry with his precum beading out. "Get over here now," he growls impatiently.

Wasting no time, you swing your leg over both of his, reclaiming your previous place of straddling him. You grabbed-rather pawed- his shoulders for leverage. His thick head lines up with your dripping entrance, then he pulls you down, driving his length inside with a powerful thrust. Knocking the wind from you as he filled you. Fuck, how he stretched you so good.

After a brief second for you both to adjust- you to his size and him to recompose himself- he instructs you to- "Move."

To which you do. Rapidly bouncing yourself up and down on his cock. Unashamed at the loud moans and whimpers continuously leaving your lips. This was exactly what you needed, and having been denied lots tonight it felt amazing to finally have this. You moved like your life depended on it.

J grunted as he met your thrusts with his languid ones, his hands guiding the movement of your hips. He held back from pounding into you, oh how he's going to pound into you, just not yet. Which means he's definitely in the mood to tease you to an extent, in any and every way that he can. What an asshole.. Your asshole.

Your arms went to wrap around him. To your surprise, he didn't shove them off. Instead, his chin went to rest in the crook of your neck, catching glimpse of the illuminated TV screen. The movie was still on.

"Mhm, you're just a horny little slut, aren't ya?" He sneered. "Can't even get through a movie without having my cock inside of ya."

There was no way you could give him a proper response. So wrapped were you in the exhilarating feeling of him that any words to a sentence you tried to form wouldn't come out. What did manage to slip out was muddled babbling. He snickered at your incoherence.

The female protagonist on the screen started to scream. The shrieking noise caught both your attention, though your actions didn't falter. "This woman's a terrible actor," J criticized the lady, "her scream is so fake, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes- ah," you return finding your voice, "It s-sure is."

He removed one hand from your hip, gliding it up the valley between your breasts to grip your neck. Glaring menacingly into your eyes momentarily before muttering, "I think you could give me a better one." You knew from his low tone that something malicious just popped into his head. His fingers tightened, "Let's see if you could scream louder than the girl on the screen. Can ya do that for me sweets?"

You nodded feverishly within his hold, "yes J."

Satisfied with the answer, he began driving his cock vigorously up into you. The harsh slapping of skin heard as his hips pound mercilessly against your own. The spontaneous change of pace left you almost completely breathless. Your orgasm was fast approaching. Eyes squeezing shut as he fucked you relentlessly. You screamed, "Oh fuck!"

Your beautiful screams rang harmoniously in his ears like a favored tune. That he could play on repeat over and over and never grow tired of hearing. Your screams and moans are definitely his favorite sounds, aside from explosions and gunfire. He can't help but want more. Crave more.

"Come on doll, get louder," he teases, "I know ya could do better than that." He went to tug your head to the side, exposing the junction between your neck and shoulder. Sinking his yellowed teeth in, biting down hard to draw blood. That was just the push you needed. Your eyes roll back and your walls clench tightly around his length, releasing a shattering scream as you cum violently around his cock.

J lapped the fresh blood from where he bit you. "Hm, that's it," he groaned, "now that's a real scream." He kept going, his pace never letting up. In fact, soon as your hands went to tug at his hair did his thrusts speed up.

You yank his head from your neck to look into his intoxicating eyes, moving to glance towards your blood on his lips. Crashing them with yours to taste that savory metallic flavor for yourself. You take his bottom lip between your teeth and bite down harshly, earning a rumbling groan from him.

He's getting closer and closer to his own peak as you're nearing another. When you feel his thumb move to rub rigorous circles on your sensitive clit, you release his lip with a sharp cry. "J!"

Your walls clamping painfully tight around his throbbing dick, vision blurring as you cum. Nails digging into his broad chest, probably creating tiny bruises under the shirt.

He relishes in the pinch of pain you give him. Combined together with your sinful noises, the sight of your face contorted in ecstasy, and the feeling of your tight warm walls. With that, he buries himself in you and cums hard. A moan mixed with a groan like noise slipping from his lips while he shoots his hot load into your cervix. So much, that some leaks out while you milk him of every last drop.

J collects his breath before lifting your weight up to slip out of you. Your pussy lips are so swollen that his cum isn't even able to drip down once he's out. He sets you onto the couch beside him, getting up to go into the restroom to clean himself and grab a damp rag to bring back to you.

As you regain yourself, you manage to sit a little more up on the couch. Wincing, trying not to sit up all the way due to the soreness already starting to form between your legs. You wrap the blanket around your naked form and silently contemplate. The sex was amazing sure, but you still felt bad for ruining movie night with a terrible movie.

The sound of J coming back in hadn't even registered with you until he waved his hand in your view, tearing you from your thoughts. You blink quickly, offering him a smile to hide it. But J had already seen the small frown when he walked back. And he wanted to know the reason behind it, since it was out of the ordinary. Usually you're always smiling in your post orgasmic state.

"What's carving a frown in ya, pumpkin?" He asks, a hint of concern in his tone as he hands you the small towel. The strange nickname causes you to giggle and he eases knowing you're alright.

"It's nothing J," you say shyly, "I'm just.. I'm sorry the movie sucked. I promise I'll pick a better one next time."

He hums, saying nothing else as he sits back down beside you. Draping his arm behind the couch behind you. Blankly watching the last of the movies end credits while you clean yourself with the rag.

You start to laugh again, "Well, now I really wanna carve a pumpkin. This place could use a couple. How about tomorrow I get some for us to carve?"

He grins sinisterly, "ya know, I'm usually carving into people."

"Pumpkins are less messy. Like, way less." You playfully respond.

"I like messy," he huffs.

"Yeah I know you do." You smile knowingly at him, lightly tracing the hexagonal patterns on his shirt. "I thought it would be fun. You don't have to if you don't want to."

J licks his scars as he ponders on it. Any activity having to do with a carving into something with a knife, count him in. "Ah, what the hell. Alright. What better way then to uh, help me spruce up on my slicing skills." He traces his hand out in front of him, as if he were carving a smile into something. This action causes you to release a genuine laugh. And in that moment, J relishes in hearing yet another one of his favorite sounds~

Woah, so that's the end! I hope you guys liked it. Again, sorry that it was so long. I can't help but make these super lengthy when it comes to smut😭

#heath ledger joker #tdk joker #the dark knight joker #ledger joker x reader #ledger joker x y/n #ledger joker x female reader #joker x reader #joker x y/n #ledger!joker #ledger joker #ledger joker smut #joker smut #the dark night #fanfic

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caesthetix · 3 years

Text

KIDS IN LOVE — Pt. 3 Old Friend

↪Porco Galliard mini-series

↪content; canon universe, description of violence, unrequited love, admiring from afar, season 4 spoiler, manga spoiler 127

"Hoi, (Y/n)! Can you help me with this stew?!" Hange shouted even though you were just a few metres away from them. "I know I said I will cook today, but I think something is missing!" You could only shake your head in amusement before plucking some rosemary and edible mushrooms that you could find.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, Hange." You answered with the same enthusiasm, yet a lot calmer tone compared to the rowdy brunette. Someone from the survey corps assisted you in your task, searching for some oyster mushrooms or morels that grew nearby. The name was Connie, if you were not mistaken.

"You know, I used to do this with my best friend." He spoke up, it was the first time he tried to initiate a conversation with you. "She was a good hunter, her aiming was like something out of this world, and she knew a lot of things about woods too." He looked so excited as he shared a piece of his life, but you could hear the melancholy lingering there in his voice.

In this endless war between Marley and Paradis, you wondered how many people lost their loved ones. Everyone was fighting their own battle inside their heart, setting aside all the grief so they could continue to devote their heart to the war. And a small moment shared like this was the only normal thing that could be found.

"She seemed lovely." You answered with a gentle smile on your face, putting the mushrooms to the basket.

"Oh, she is not." He snorted as he dismissed the compliment. "She is anything but lovely. A prankster, gluttonous, she only had one goal in her life and that was to reclaim our freedom so she could do nothing but eat."

You chuckled at that, even letting out a snort too at how he grumbled under his breath.

"Well, at least she seemed fun to be around with." He didn't argue with you on that and shared with you a few memories that he had with her. How she ate a warm potato in front of the Cadet Corps instructor, even giving the old man half of it, not caring that everyone looked at her with horror.

You learned a lot with just a simple story that he shared with you. Connie could be a prankster, somewhat reckless too, yet he would do anything to protect his friends. The two of you spent time together plucking mushrooms and sharing past lives, holding on to the new comfort that was found before getting back to duty.

"By the way, I think I remember where I heard your name before." He grabbed the basket in your hand as he walked beside you to the camp. "Niccolo, the other chef from Marley was close with my best friend, and he told us that he had a fellow chef who could cook even better than him."

"You know Niccolo?" You whipped your head to face him, ignoring the fact that your friend just praised you so easily. You couldn't contain your excitement, someone from Paradis knew your friend after all.

"Yes, I could say we are pretty close. Since Sasha, that gluttonous best friend of mine, kinda had a thing with him." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, making you chuckle in an instant knowing the implication. Now you wanted to meet her for real, it would be lovely to see your friend being flustered over a woman.

As the laugh between you died down, silence followed you once again, but it was not one that made you want to excuse yourself out from. He started to loosen up around you, and it was good to know that at least some of them didn't set a deadly eye upon you like how it used to.

"I will take it from here." You snatched back the basket from his hand before rushing ahead to Hange, making him bewildered with how sudden it was. You didn't stop your pace, but you turned for a while to wave at him. "See you later, Connie! I will cook tasty food for all of you!"

The scout was taken aback by your words just now. Knowing that someone who days ago was his enemy by nation, now would cook for them was something that even he couldn't believe. He didn't know what drives you to fight, you mentioned that it was freedom, but somehow he felt that it was a little more than that.

But it didn't matter what it was anymore, he was happy to know you now.

"I wish you could meet her, Sasha."

〄

You were not really surprised that something like this would happen. One second everyone was eating stew together, another Jean was tackling Reiner to the ground for telling the truth about something that happened a few years ago when he was here. There was so much rage inside Jean's eyes, something that you never saw from him since he always seemed to be the calmest among all.

Well, you only knew him for a few days, of course, you wouldn't know much about the rest of them.

You flinched when you saw Reiner getting beaten up, his face was now covered with his own blood. It was no secret that he could heal himself, but anger like this was dangerous to be kept alive. Everyone started to get along, this was not something that you wanted to see, because now, it felt like a drawback on both sides.

You couldn't take the shouting anymore, you couldn't bear to see two people that were supposed to be friends like this because of these circumstances. From the corner of your eyes, you saw how Gabi wanted to throw herself on top of Reiner.

But you stopped her, pushing her petite body out of the way before replacing her place.

"Jean!"

You gripped Reiner's shoulders so tight as you felt Jean's feet kicking your ribcage. Tears build up in your eyes, either it was from the guilt of wanting freedom by killing the Eldian in Paradis or because of the pain, you didn't know anymore.

This was too much for you, violence. Porco warned you that someday you would see more than just someone hurting an enemy. In war, even friends could turn into a foe. You let Gabi do the talking, yet all she said was left unanswered as Jean wriggled himself free and turned around.

"Hey, I think we should do something for you." You heard Annie's soft voice as she put her hand on your back. This gesture was enough to make you lift your face, teary eyes staring back to the blue orbs. "It hit right on your rib cage, right? We need to check if it is broken or something."

Gritting your teeth, you slowly moved your body to sit. Everyone was watching you carefully, even the rest of the scouts were looking at you with worry in their eyes. You tried to keep the expression on your face as neutral as possible, didn't want to show them that it hurts.

"I am fine, Annie. You should take care of Reiner." You answered her with a monotonous voice, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill before. "It was nothing that I couldn't handle."

Annie didn't look convinced at your response, she narrowed her eyes a little, observing your face who was now averting her gaze by looking down.

"You are not a titan shifter, you can't heal yourself." She stated, not wanting to back down knowing how stubborn you could be. "You didn't grow to be a warrior or a soldier, you are just a chef."

"I am not weak!" You knew that she didn't mean any harm by saying that. "And I am not a kid either!" But that didn't mean it hurt any less.

"Hey, I didn't say that you are weak, and no one said that you are a kid—"

"Porco did!"

You balled your hand into a fist, sucking a deep breath as you wanted to keep your emotion in check. Annie was taken aback by your sudden outburst, even mentioning the dead comrade. Letting out a long sigh, you relaxed your hand.

"Porco always said that, Annie." You continued, still looking down as you felt so vulnerable. "And I am tired. I want to be stronger so I can keep on living, so I could reach my freedom." Then you lifted your head, now finally looked at her. "Our freedom." Something that your old friend couldn't get to see in this world.

You gave her a small smile before looking down to see Reiner, feeling relieved that he started to let out some steam, notifying that he had started to heal. Suddenly, you felt something pushing at your back, making you yelp as you didn't expect someone trying to put pressure on your body.

"Becoming stronger doesn't mean you neglect any pain that you felt." You widened your eyes as you saw Pieck, who was now in titan form, now sitting beside you. "You need to take care of your body, keeping your mind and emotions in check, don't be reckless and let Annie take a look at your rib cage."

You frowned at this, feeling like a little kid being scolded by her parents. Pieck could always change your heart despite some hurtful truth that she always spouted. She pushed you once again with her mouth so now you stumbled on Annie's arms.

Annie let out a small chuckle when she saw the pout on your face. She hoisted you up slowly, making sure that the gesture didn't hurt you more. You were still reluctant at first, but you knew better than to argue in front of them. She grabbed your arm and guided you further to check you up, and as you walked, you could see from the corner of your eyes how the scouts were all worried about you.

"Come on, soldier, let me see how your wound is." Annie pulled you back from your thought, her eyes fixated forward. Even if she was always detached when you were a kid, she tends to have a soft spot for fellow warriors and close friends.

"Alright." You answered softly, letting her take care of you. "Thank you, Annie."

"It's nothing." She shrugged her shoulders, and you were grateful that you had comrades who could get through your stubborn head. "After all, if Porco was here and you neglected the care, he would be the one who threw a tantrum at us for not convincing you better."

"Annie, not cool!"

〄

The sun seemed to be so cruel today, the sweats on your forehead didn't seem to stop as you sat on the wooden cart. On your left was Falco, he seemed to cling into you so much as Gabi did the same on your right, though careful not to put much pressure on your rib cage where you took Jean's hit last night.

You thanked God that it turned out to be nothing. There were some bruises on your skin, but your bones remained intact. Though sometimes you would still winch as the cart passed some bumps on the road.

"Miss (L/n), how are you feeling?" Falco asked softly, his big hazel eyes staring at you. You blinked, somehow seeing his big brother inside those beautiful orbs. He was caring, an optimist, no wonder Colt would sacrifice his life if that meant this little kid would not feel abandoned.

"Ah, it's nothing to worry about, Falco." You raised your arm that wrapped around his shoulder before patting his head. "It was just a scratch." Your orbs eyeing the man across you, Jean, who now had his head hanging low. You didn't want to worry anyone, and a little bruise was something that you could handle.

He nodded, seeming satisfied with your answer, and you thanked God once again that they were not too pushy like Annie and Pieck. His little fingers grasping on your green cloak, somehow didn't want to let it go.

The cart was filled with silence, and if only the sun was not cruel today, you bet that those two kids would be asleep in no time.

"Miss," Falco spoke up once again, earning a single hum from you, telling him to continue. "I don't mean to bring this up now. But," He hesitated, a look of conflict written all over his face. "I-I just want to say thank you."

"What for, dear?" You locked your gaze on him, now confused since you felt like you haven't done a lot in his life.

"For everything!" He exclaimed. "For making that tasty stew last night, for giving us warrior candidates free dessert when we passed by the restaurant, for telling us it's okay to be just a kid sometimes." Ah, you remembered that day. "And most of all," He trailed off before clearing his throat. "Thank you for making my brother happy."

Your lips parted, eyes never left his face as he gave you a beautiful smile. You could feel Reiner glanced at you with a knowing look, while Annie just raised one of her eyebrows in confusion. You felt like you stopped breathing as you processed the information, your mind suddenly played some of the memories that you had with the older Grice.

His never-ending smile when the kids were around, his serious expression that occurred when the talk of war was brought up, his gentle gaze that loved to settle on you —

"What are you looking at?"

You couldn't help but call him out as he stared in your direction. It was not like you were irritated, but more like you afraid his gaze would affect you in any kind of way. Though it seemed like your question just in from one ear and out from the other. "Colt, stop it, I swear."

"What?" He protested, a smile that tugged on his lips showing you that he knew you were not angry at him. "Is that so wrong to look at you?" So he did look at you.

"Well, I am here just to bake them some cake. Shouldn't you keep watch of them? What if they were missing?"

The warrior candidates; Gabi, Falco, Udo, Zofia, and Colt himself, were visiting your workplace before continuing their journey to the headquarters. They still had an hour before a meeting with the warriors, and Udo was begging for a free dessert that he would get if they stopped by your place.

While waiting for the cake to be done, the kids were running around the huge restaurant where you mainly served the Marley Military and the Warrior Unit. They were off the instant you told them to explore, saying that they should enjoy their time before getting drilled by the Commander.

You expected the big brother to follow them, but he ended up just sitting on one of the stools near the kitchen island, deciding to accompany you instead. When you prepared the ingredients and baked, you could feel his hazel eyes lingered on your form.

"They wouldn't like it if I go with them." He scoffed, feeling a little bit hurt. "Falco would shout at me to be with you instead, saying I am such a coward for—" He cleared his throat then as he realised his mistake. "Nevermind, those kids just didn't like to be accompanied by me all the time after all."

"Hm, that's an acceptable excuse." You chuckled softly, your words making him blush a deep shade of red at your accusation.

"I am not lying! Falco really said—"

"Calm down, Colt." You walked towards him and patted his shoulder lightly. "I am just messing with you, you know I trust you with anything." A gentle smile appeared on your lips as you gazed at him, and you could feel him stiffening in an instance.

Remembering something, you retracted your hand, somehow feeling guilty. You cast your gaze down as you recalled what Porco said about him a few nights before, something about how the older Grice took a liking to you. And no, not in a platonic way.

"You know, you don't have to think about it," Colt whispered, enough for you to hear. "I know who you set your eyes on, and I never expected you to look at me like that." He said it carefully, and you wondered how come he understood what you were feeling.

"But, Colt—"

"There was nothing for you to worry about." He chuckled, though you could hear a hint of sadness lingering there. "I never expected to have this kind of feeling too. But I am alright with that, I am grateful that when I feel like this, it was with you."

He looked up, giving you his signature smile. However, you knew this time it didn't reach his eyes, and you didn't dare to say anything. "I understand my place, (Y/n)." He continued, now reaching out his hand to ruffle your hair, the gesture felt so bittersweet yet comforting as it lingered even after he withdrew his hand.

"I am happy enough to have met you."

"It was nothing," You swallowed a huge lump, letting the tears blinding your vision as you ruffled the light blonde hair that belonged to Falco, doing the same thing that Colt always did to you to give comfort. "It was nothing."

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