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illdowhatiwantthanks · 11 days

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Coming Out

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: some explicit language, mention of an unsub hurting Emily 😱, vague insinuations of homophobia, mostly fluff on fluff, feat. loyal himbo Derek Morgan Word Count: 2k

Summary: Emily gets injured on the job, and all she really wants is you, her girlfriend. But she's not out to the rest of the team yet. Can she be vulnerable enough to share that part of herself with the team? Can she be vulnerable enough to let you take care of her? Takes place at the end of S3.E2.

Emily dabbed at her head and winced, checking her watch to see if it had been long enough to take more pain medication. But despite getting clocked with a plank of wood, she was glad to be on the jet, glad to be back with her team because they really were starting to feel like her team. Who was she kidding? She loved her job.

According to the pilot, the team would be landing at Quantico in a little over an hour. Emily grabbed her phone, discreetly shoving it into her pocket, before heading to the back of the plane. She needed to call you, but the rest of the team didn't know about you yet. Hell, the rest of the team didn't even know she was gay. It felt too personal, and she'd been hurt by people's reactions–people she loved and trusted deeply–too many times. She played her relationships and her sexuality close to the vest.

Reid tapped Emily's arm as she passed by.

"Oh! Are you going all the way to the back?"

Emily tensed. "Yep."

"Could you bring me a Sprite?"

She felt her shoulders relax, and she patted Reid on the arm. "Sure."

After knocking on the bathroom door to make sure that truly no one was around, she called you, her voice hushed as she rifled through tiny airplane soda cans, looking for Reid's Sprite.

"Hey, Em," you said, your voice bright.

"Hey," she said, a goofy smile spreading across her face. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing much. Saw a street rat earlier. I named him Guillermo. I think he's on the prowl for a girlfriend."

Emily laughed, covering her mouth.

"How was Milwaukee?" you asked.

"Good. Really good. We got the guy. We're on the plane now."

She could nearly hear how smug you were through the phone.

"You're glad you went back," you snickered, relishing in being right. She'd sworn that it wasn't a big deal, that it'd be easy to get another good job, but you knew her heart was with the BAU.

Emily sighed. "I am. You were right."

"You're gonna stay?"

"Looks that way."

"I knew it!" you crowed. "I'm glad. You're too good at your job to quit it."

"Thanks, love. Listen, Y/N, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course! Anything."

Emily winced, touching the swollen bump on her head. "We land in about an hour. Can you pick me up and stay at my place tonight?"

"Wow." You drew out the vowel, milking the fact that Emily needed you for once. "You missed me that much, huh?"

"Well, yes, of course, but... I, uh... I kind of have a concussion?"

Your tone shifted immediately from smug to concerned. "What?! Why?! What happened!?"

"Unsub hit me with a plank of wood," she admitted reluctantly.

"Jesus Christ, Em! Are you okay!?"

"I'm fine, baby, I promise," she reassured you. "I just got a little banged up, that's all. But I'll need you to wake me up every few hours and make sure I'm cognizant."

"I think I have some soup in the freezer," you observed, your voice far away. You'd put her on speakerphone to rifle through the cabinets. "And I have a thermometer. I don't know, do concussions cause fevers? I've never had one."

Emily shook her head, smiling. She loved that your first response, always, was to take care of her. Emily was not used to being taken care of, and she didn't let many people do it. She certainly wouldn't let many people see it either. But she let you.

"No thermometers needed. Just you and your car and more you when we get home."

"You got it. When did you say you land?"

"In about an hour."

"Okay. I'll leave in a few."

"Oh," Emily added quickly. "And you're cleared to drive into Quantico. They know the car you drive and they've got your ID on file. Just show it to them at the gate."

You paused. "Well, that's a little Big Brother of them."

"I gave it to them a few months ago. Just in case you ever needed to come by. Sorry, I should've told you."

"It's okay," you decided, pulling on a jacket and a beanie. "It feels kind of badass to be on Quantico's list."

Emily laughed, almost excited to have a concussion because it meant you'd be snuggled right up to next to her for however long it took to get better. 48 hours at least.

"Alright, baby," she finished, Reid's Sprite in hand. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye, love."

Emily wiped the grin off her face before returning to the cabin with Reid's Sprite–it'd look suspicious if she was too happy coming back.

An hour later, the team was going their separate ways in the parking lot, waving goodbyes and slamming car doors under the buzzing lights.

Emily leaned on the wall outside the building entrance, relishing the crisp night air.

"You need a ride, Prentiss?" Morgan asked as he walked out, used go-bag slung over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be driving" He pointed to her head.

"No, that's okay," Emily waved him off. "I've got– uh... someone's... picking me up."

Fuck, she thought. The concussion was not helping her ability to lie well.

Morgan stared at her suspiciously.

"What?" Emily laughed, trying to act normal.

"Why are you acting shifty?"

"I'm not!" she protested.

Morgan smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Do you have a secret boyfriend?"

"What?" Emily said, laughing a little too forcefully. "No!"

He crossed his arms and waited. "You're seriously not gonna tell me?"

Emily leaned against the brick wall, rubbing her forehead. On the one hand, she was tired of keeping you–and herself–a secret. And if anyone was going to be supportive of someone on the team getting laid, it would be Morgan. But on the other, did she really know that much about him? She didn't know his religious background. Sure, he'd defend a gay victim, but that was his job. This was personal.

Emily sighed before replying. "I have... I have a secret girlfriend."

The silence felt like it lasted hours, stretching between them until Emily was sure the chasm would never close again, and that with just a few words, just by being herself, she'd ruined any chance of a friendship with Derek Morgan. It wouldn't be the first time. It probably wouldn't be the last.

Morgan seemed to think deeply before leaning against the wall next to Emily, turning to look her in the eye.

"Prentiss, why didn't you tell us you were gay?"

Emily was afraid to look at him, but when she did, her heart soared. He looked at her with nothing but love and respect and appreciation, no hint of hatred or disgust. If anything, he looked sad that she'd waited so long to tell him.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't always get a good reaction."

"Well, you know nobody on this team would have a problem with that, right? Hell, Garcia'd probably hang pride flags everywhere."

"I know," Emily nodded. "I just... I don't think I'm ready yet. For everyone to know. Soon, though."

Morgan nodded, then thought for a few minutes before asking, "Is it serious?"

Emily chuckled. "Being gay? Yeah, I'd say so."

Morgan shoved her shoulder gently, mindful of the day's injuries. "No! The girl! How long have you been seeing her?"

"A little over six months."

"So, it's serious."

Emily grinned. She was glad to have someone to talk to about this. She'd held it so close for so long. She wasn't used to having anyone to tell about you. Maybe Morgan could be that person.

"Promise not to tell the others?"

Morgan put his hand over his heart. "Promise."

"I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd let me."

"Wow." Morgan raised his eyebrows, smiling lightly. "Prentiss is in love," he said, teasing her.

Emily fought a wide smile, but lost in the end. "Oh, shut up. And don't tell anyone. Especially her."

"Your secret's safe with me," Morgan reassured her. And she could tell he meant it. Emily trusted him, she realized. She trusted him to be a good friend, to keep her secrets. She trusted him not to out her to the rest of the team. He'd let her go at her own pace when it came to telling the others.

"She better be amazing," Morgan added. "I don't know how anyone could be good enough for you."

Just at that moment, a pair of headlights crept slowly into the parking lot, hesitant and unsure. It had to be you. Emily stepped forward and waved a bit, then turned to Morgan.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.

"Not with that head, you won't," Morgan observed.

You put the car in park next to the curb and leapt out of the driver's seat, hurrying over to Emily.

"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, anger and concern washing over you. "I thought you you said you were fine!"

You gingerly touched Emily's face and pulled her head down to examine the butterfly bandage above her eyebrow.

"Look at this," you grumbled, more to yourself than anyone else. "It's already bruising." You glared at the butterfly bandage. "Did a doctor do this or you? If it was you, I think we should clean it with rubbing alcohol at home."

Morgan looked absolutely delighted, both because you seemed like a delightful person and because Emily was beet red at being observed with you.

"Y/N, I'm fine," Emily said firmly, grasping your fingers in hers and removing them from her face. "This is my colleague Derek Morgan. Morgan, my girlfriend, Y/N."

You looked Morgan over and immediately decided you liked him. Mostly because you could tell that he really cared about Emily. But also because he looked mischievous, like he'd tease her. And if there was anything you loved, it was teasing Emily. You shook his hand enthusiastically. "It's really nice to meet you," you said. And you meant it.

But you didn't have time to chat with Morgan tonight. You were too worried about Emily.

"You don't look fine," you argued, looking to Morgan for backup. "Does she look fine to you?"

Morgan grinned at Emily, raising his eyebrows. "She definitely looks like she could use some TLC."

"Oh, and she'll get it alright," you assured him, opening the passenger door for Emily. "Shall we?"

Emily bent gingerly to get into the car, and you were careful to guard her head from the ceiling.

"Derek, it was really nice to meet you," you said, shaking his hand one more time for good measure as Emily rolled down the window, staring bullets at Morgan.

"You too, Y/N," he said, looking over your shoulder at Emily. "I hope you all have a very marry evening."

Emily pointed at him aggressively behind your back, mouthing, "SHUT. UP."

"See you, Prentiss," he called as you pulled away. He laughed and called out, "I hope it's a real honeymoon from work!"

Emily's hand shot out the window, flipping him off.

Later that night, your alarm buzzed and you blinked awake. You forgot for a moment that you were at Emily's, but her strong arms wrapped protectively around your waist were enough to remind you where you were.

You turned slowly to face a sleeping Emily, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Em. Hey. You gotta wake up, honey."

She groaned, placing a hand on her head.

"Sorry," you grimaced. "Gotta make sure your brain's alright."

"My brain is fine," she growled.

"Oh, yeah?" you joked, checking the time before shaking a few pills into your hand from the pill bottle on the nightstand. "Who am I, then?"

"The love of my life, Whitney Houston."

You laughed, which made Emily laugh, too. But she quickly doubled over in pain, groaning.

"Here, take these," you said gently, handing her the pills and a glass of water. "It'll help."

She took the pills obediently and lay back down.

"You know," you said, pulling up the blankets to make sure they covered Emily's shoulders. "I may not be Whitney Houston..." You wrapped your arms around her and drew her to you, and she burrowed her head into the space between your neck and your collarbone.

"But I think I'm a close second," you finished, running your fingers rhythmically through Emily's hair.

She sighed contentedly, pressing into you, then moving one of your arms to wrap it more tightly around her.

"Why are you so good to me?" she asked, quiet. You couldn't quite tell if it was a joke or serious, but you'd reply the same either way.

"Because I love you, you nerd."

She leaned up, planting a kiss underneath your chin. "I love you, too."

Within minutes she was conked out again, and you were setting another alarm, ready to do it all over again in a few hours.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #bau #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss fluff #emily prentiss drabble

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scribefindegil · 1 year

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Okay okay okay the thing IS. The anime has Dimple saying, “Well if you die and can’t pass on, at least we’ll have each other” TO MOB. Which I understand; the Mob and Dimple friendship is hugely important to Mogami arc and to the show as a whole, and it works as this sort of dark-humored aside that, while snarky, reads as a genuine attempt at comfort. This arc is a turning point, but we’ve already seen a lot of development in Dimple and Mob’s relationship.

BUT. In the manga he doesn’t say it to Mob. He says it to Reigen. And while it’s harder to read tone in written text, especially when you’re dealing with translation, the panel is extremely somber. There’s no silly Dimple expression like in the anime; it’s a close crop of the back of Reigen and Dimple’s heads as they look away. “If you die and can’t get into heaven, let’s be friends again down here” is a SERIOUS OFFER. Dimple’s been complaining about Reigen non-stop and snarking at him and their relationship up until this point has been pretty combative. But here he believes that Reigen’s going to die--to be killed by the same person that took out the last group of people Dimple was at all close with--and he offers companionship.

And! Sorry i talk about this All The Time but it’s so important to manga!Mogami arc: this happens right as Reigen is trying to convince Mob to leave. Ostensibly he asks him to “get help,” but it’s obvious in context that he thinks everyone in that basement is going to get slaughtered and is lying to Mob in hopes that the kid will at least save himself. Reigen gets into a lot of dangerous situations and isn’t always great at self-preservation, but there are vanishingly few occasions where he actually thinks he’s not going to make it out. But this is one of them.

And it’s such a strange sort of comfort, but it is comfort, for the resident ghost to say, “Hey, even if you do die this doesn’t have to be the end.” To say “If you don’t know where to go, you can stick with me.” To offer, in the translation I read, friendship, even though that’s something he won’t admit he wants for himself until much, much later in the story.

Anyway this is why I lose it every time I see That One Panel Everyone Laughs At For Being Kind Of Gay.

#mp100 #mob meta #ekurei

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haphazardlyannotated · 1 year

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Steven Universe told from the perspective of other characters

Garnet: A story of gay empowerment from start to finish. As a book it would be titled either Made of Love or Stronger Than You and feature Garnet's gauntlets with her wedding rings on them as cover art.

Amethyst: A seemingly wacky coming of age story that drops the most heartfelt moments when your guard is down. The cover resembles kids' detective stories, the kind where the whole gang is looking around for clues to the mystery.

Pearl: Everything up to Rose's death is an ancient literary classic titled The Ballad of Rose Quartz, illustrated with intricate inkbrush paintings. Steven Universe season one to three is the kind of introspective life after tragedy novel you pick up to look sophisticated reading. It's probably titled Without Her or something similiar. I don't have a title for season four and onwards, but the blurb is "it's not easy to manage twenty girlfriends, two life partners, a son and a dark past at the same time!" It's much more lighthearted than the previous two, but still prone to punching you in the emotions with little warning.

Connie: A magical adventure series just like the Unfamiliar Familiar! It centers Steven the magical boy with his best friend and eventual love interest Connie as the female lead. The tone gets a little darker after the first book/season, but less so than the original Steven Universe (let alone Steven Universe Future).

Greg: First a coming of age story, but unlike Amethyst this one is about breaking away from toxic people in your life. This story gets its happy ending when Greg finally finds someone he can be himself with in Rose. The time until Rose's death is a romantic comedy titled My Girlfriend, her Girlfriend and Me and conists mostly of shenanigans. After Rose's death and Steven's birth, it turns into something more bittersweet centering Greg's worries about being an adequate father to his magical son.

Peridot: It's titled How I learned to stop worrying and join the Rebellion and is easily the most lighthearted installment here. Our dorky protagonist is very obviously a somewhat unreliable narrator, but in a funny way. She encounters a few struggles, but they are quickly overcome with the power of friendship.

Lapis: This is just multiple whump fics. They're in a collection titled Bad Things Happen Roulette. Steven Universe the Movie is a pretty standard fantasy adventure with a group of powerful heroes though, and Steven Universe Future is the fluff fic with a smidge of angst you'd read as a pick me up after Bad Things Happen Roulette.

Bismuth: The war is a good vs evil sci-fi story with lots of social commentary. The Diamonds are definitely irredeemable here. I don't know what to do with the few episodes of the original Steven Universe she was in, but the movie is an empowerment narrative against systemic oppression titled Still Standing, or something in that style. Steven Universe Future however is a romantic comedy.

Rose: This is just a straight (well, bi) up tragedy. Our protagonist desperately tries to recover from her childhood trauma and be a good person, but is ultimately unable to escape the prison of her own mind. The book wins several literature prizes, but very few people actually read it because it's just too depressing.

#su #steven universe #su garnet #su amethyst #su pearl #connie maheswaran #su peridot #su lapis #su bismuth #su rose quartz #garnet #amethyst #pearl #peridot #lapis #bismuth #rose quartz

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hallowedmistress · 1 month

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stardew sexuality hcs!

bachelors + bachelorettes

alex

definitely gay

grew up in a homophobic, religious family

first time he saw gay people was on tv on a news program about same-sex marriage being legalised

george immediately turned it off in disdain and evelyn distracted him with some food, but the thought lingered at the back of his mind

as he grows up, he collects sports magazines. more often with lean, muscular men on the covers than not

he suppresses it for years but it comes to a head when the cute new farmer moves in

and the rest is history

elliott

homoflexible

knew he was into men since he was very young

his family wasn't pleased to say the least. their only son, gay and a writer? the blasphemy.

didn't dare confess to any of his childhood crushes because he grew up in a pretty old fashioned area

instead wrote letters and stuffed them into used cans and threw them into the sea

lived in zuzu city for a short while before moving to stardew valley, had a relatively unhealthy lifestyle of drinking and hookups and no sleep. the cabin on the beach helped with his insomnia

very rarely attracted to women; usually into the type of women who mistake him for a lesbian

sam

unlabelled

leans more towards men

vincent called him weird at first but wrapped his head around it pretty quick

jodi doesn't talk about it but she just wants him to be happy and not hide any part of himself

kent absolutely flips when sam brings the farmer, his boyfriend, over

they make it work. kent warms up to the farmer, and the strict military rules drilled into his head slowly come undone

he reluctantly tells sebastian he likes guys at the saloon one night while abigail isn't around. sebastian just says 'huh', and beats him at pool.

sebastian

queer, on the aromantic spectrum

never really thought about romance. he has enough to deal with by himself, why should he want someone else?

has a little crush on sam when they're kids

only realises it was romantic when sam tells him that he likes guys. and sebastian realises oh, i can do that.

he doesn't really tell anyone but he blurts it out to his mother one afternoon

robin is supportive, and curious at first

demetrius... doesn't say much.

after kissing sam for a dare, he huddles inside a blanket with a red face for a whole day

harvey

heteroflexible

he likes women, but likes the occasional buff man

he's vocal with his support of the community, and pins up a pride flag on the clinic's wall

he lost a trans girlfriend to suicide back in the city. it sticks with him, and he makes sure to respectfully inquire about all his patients' mental health and if they need anything

he likes the farmer for their cool, confident demeanor regardless of their gender.

shane

straight

never thought about his sexuality

kissed a few of his homies back in college before he dropped out

hasn't really "fallen" for anyone before the farmer

abigail

bisexual

this girl is so, so bi

she definitely read manga on sites named stuff like yaoiparadiseheaven growing up

always shipped the protagonist and rival in pokemon games

has a few bi pride pins. pierre hates it and wants her to tone it down, but she refuses. loud and proud

caroline chides her, but is secretly proud of her and even buys her some sapphic movie dvds

haley

lesbian

it's complicated. she knows she has some sort of comphet, and she hates it

she wants to be out to the whole town just to prove a point, but she wants to present as straight at the same time just to feel more accepted

she flirts with guys and then feels like throwing up

she tries to flirt with girls and ends up insulting them

she and abigail have some sort of sapphic jealousy thing going on

when the farmer comes to town, abigail knows she's head-over-heels for the butch immediately despite her previous insistence that she only likes femme women

leah

definitely a lesbian

chill about it. she doesn't tell anyone, but she doesn't hide it

she has a vase painted the lesbian colours

her ex from the city is non-binary

she doesn't expect to fall for the farmer at all, but ends up yearning for months

boldly sculpts a messy piece of two women kissing

she and male!farmer would talk about women together

penny

her labels keep changing

she's into women, and into pretty guys.

she used to always keep an eye out for the woman who worked the jojamart counter

pam catches her reading a lesbian romance once, and penny fears the worst

instead, pam just nods and mentions she went out with some women herself and penny just stops in her tracks wide-eyed

when she first meets the farmer, she can't stop blushing around them

maru

she never really fathomed being attracted to men in the first and doesn't get why demetrius is so against her having male friends

demetrius is obnoxiously supportive once he finds out. the farmer sighs every time they walk in on an overly large display of support

he celebrates her coming-out anniversary every year

lesbian in stem

she's also on the asexual spectrum. something like demisexual, maybe. she doesn't have it figured out yet

emily

pansexual, and open about it

every time someone asks if she has a boyfriend, she corrects them to 'significant other'.

romance doesn't work like 'normal' to her

every friendship has a little romance, and every romance has a lot of friendship. isn't that the best way to live?

she's very affectionate. with friends, family, s/o's, anyone.

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv shane #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv haley #sdv abigail #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv emily #sdv penny #stardew headcanon #stardew headcanons #sexuality headcanons #might have slipped a bit of the sambastian agenda in there #oops

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kodamaghost00 · 3 months

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Can you do 30 headcanons for Sundrop?

30 Sun/Sundrop Headcanons

———————————————————[Disclaimer!!]

This post will contain: NSFW,Sfw,Fluff,Smut

It’s also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys! You are a Technician in these scenarios!

———————————————————

Let’s begin!

His favorite nickname for you is “Sunshine!” but he calls you every nickname that he can find.

He always talks super eccentric wich leads you to misunderstanding him often.

In the after hours of the Pizzaplex he pins all the drawings that kids made for him on the walls in his room.

He’ll randomly pick you up and treat you like a toddler, just to mess with you.

He’s usually not roaming free in the Pizzaplex but when he’s concerned about you he’ll storm out within minutes.

He’s a desperate dude. He would beg just to let him fuck you. Just drooling over you and your perfect figure praising you every minute.

He can handle various types of kids who are different than others. He knows ASL and has bells around his wrist so the blind kids hear him.

He learns the names and interests from kids who are regularly with him.

He has a lot of stamina. Like. A LOT. So he can go on for hours and hours.

His head spikes spin when he cums, but he always puts his head behind though, so he won’t hurt you accidentally. “F-Fuck sunshine~ This is amazing!”

He loves making puppet shows for the little ones! And sometimes he’ll ask you to join him to make them more human and interesting to look at.

When the kids leave he’s usually very alone. Cleaning the daycare or searching for you to accompany him.

He’s a fan of Karaoke but he doesn’t want people to hear his voice.

One time you came into the daycare in the after hours to search for sun. His monthly maintenance was due but he was nowhere to be found.

It’s weird since he’s always on time. You look through the whole daycare but he wasn’t there. So you go to his room and look over it. And there he is bawled up in the corner.

“Sun? What’s up dear?” you asked gently knowing that he needs you right now. “Sunshine?! Oh… I’m so so sorry that you have to see me this way again.” He said in a super sad tone while looking on the ground. “Don’t worry Sunny. You know you can tell me everything…” He looks up at you with hope.

“Oh… I… uhm… the parents were talking about me again.” He continued to tell you how the parents were talking bad about him. It broke your heart. You sat down beside him and hug his slim build. “You’re the best Sun. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.” You give him a reassuring smile and you guys hug for a long time.

His love language is Acts of Service. He appreciates everything you do for him, even if it’s something small like leaving a sticky note for him.

He apologizes a lot too. Even for stuff that isn’t in his power.

He likes dancing with you. No matter if it’s more partying or if it’s more of a slow dance. “Come here sunshine. Let’s enjoy this moment…”

He’s not only programmed to entertain children but also to educate them. He has a wide range of languages and can count up to 100.

His dick is basically a tentacle. It’s twisted with moons part wich makes it even better to play with.

He has ADHD and uses stimming toys to calm himself. His favorite are the fidget cubes. He also got really sad that fidget spinners didn’t trend anymore.

Sometimes he wishes to be only one animatronic instead of two. After all Moon gets to spend all night with you and he doesn’t.

Every time the younger kids are explaining new memes to him he doesn’t understand. “Oh! What you drawing there small one?? What’s that? A skibidi Toilette…? That sounds disturbing…” You pat him on the shoulder. “Yeah no one gets what they like about…. That.” You say with a slight disgust on your face.

He also wished he could be more comfortable. His metal build isn’t really good for comforting the kiddos. He asked you a bunch of times if you can change something against that but you can’t due to the strict guidelines for him.

He tries to get into your special interests. Asking a bunch of questions so you know he’s interested in your life.

He’d be a switch with a bottom preference. He loves getting touched by you. But he also loves seeing you desperate.

One time you asked him if he still loved you. That man looked at you with the most shocked expression ever and just hugged you.

He hugged you and said “Oh Y/N… my sunshine… you’re the best thing that ever happened to me! I love you with all my body, heart and soul!” You guys just stand there holding each other for a very long time

———————————————————

That’s also finished! I wanna send a huge shoutout and thanks to @millenniumproductions !! I’ll make sure to fulfill all your requests sooner or later! If you’re new here you can also leave a Follow and request! And once again thank you for reading!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

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sahonithereadwolf · 8 months

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I went down another research hole the other night. Y'all might know about "Big Rock Candy Mountain" from O Brother, Where Art Thou...

youtube

But it, like most of the songs from that movie comes from a tradition of American folk songs. Big Rock Candy Mountains very specifically this tradition of hobo ballads. And, like setting aside the overtones of American colonialism that purvey all these sort of "there is a dreamland to the west for you to claim" songs, there is a cultural tradition of these. "Life is a struggle but there is a place where it's not if you can find it" is a very human sentiment.

There are plenty of medieval works on Cockaigne, which has a similar kinda tone to it. A land where the harsh realities of a blue collar or peasant class struggle can not exist.

But did you know about the secret gay lyrics of Big Rock Candy Mountain?

After Harry McClintoc recorded his version of this ballad, which he claimed he wrote in 1895 based off the stories he heard as a kid working on the railroad, a bunch of people took him to court because they claimed he stole and took parts of his song from a bunch of other hobo songs in the same traditions. Sweet Potato Mountain, Hobo's Heaven, An Appleknocker's Lament... As part of the court dispute, McClintock was told by the judge to perform the song. As art of the court record we have a last stanza which is not used in the cleaned up version used for records and "reputable venues". This was recorded as:

"The punk rolled up his big blue eyes And said to the jocker, "Sandy, I've hiked and hiked and wandered too, But I ain't seen any candy. I've hiked and hiked till my feet are sore And I'll be damned if I hike any more To be * * * * * * * * In the Big Rock Candy Mountains." Now NO ONE KNOWS what that last lyric is. However we can make some very educated inferences. This is about gay sex.

And it's not like "Big Rock Candy Mountains" is immune to commentary despite the more sanitized versions you'd see later from the likes of Burl Ives.

I'm thinking very specifically: "In The Big Rock Candy Mountains All the cops have wooden legs And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth" and

"In The Big Rock Candy Mountains The jails are made of tin And you can walk right out again As soon as you are in There ain't no short-handle shovels No axes, saws or picks I'm a-goin' to stay where you sleep all day Where they hung the jerk that invented work In The Big Rock Candy Mountains" Going back to the lyrics "The punk rolled up his big blue eyes"

Punk in this context and original use, especially in it's use in hobo culture refers to a younger man or boy being kept for sex and other menial task.

Which, you know, should put a whole new context to see how it's been used against other forms of youth culture. Hippies, greasers, punks,ect. And at least for me makes it's misuse feel even more slapdash and pathetic.

If you doubt this, it is quickly followed up by the term "Jocker" "And said to the jocker, 'Sandy," a slang term of the era referring to an aggressive and usually straight passing dom top, especially in the context of prison.

To be a little flippant, this is a twink grumbling to a daddy.

As I mentioned before, no one actually knows what that missing lyric is. Or at the very least it's never been made public.

But give it's proximity to "sore" and "more" a lot of guess tend to jump to the word "Whore".

Sam Eskin actually interviewed McClintock for Folkway Records and which, when asked about the lyrics said “the ambition of every hobo was to snare some kid to do his begging for him, among other things,”

This is something you see in a lot of early gay panic lit all the way up through the 80's. Especially as the moral authoritarianism of the Hayes code kicked in. But it also found itself in the early pulp lit where queerness could still exist (if behind a little mask and a performative, if dramatic, finger shake)

Queerness and homelessness were intertwined. Still are, both from my own personal experiences and if you look at the statistics. And it's not much of a leap to understand why. ---

But we do have some offered lyrics from other authors: "To be buggered sore like a hobo’s whore,” Is a popular one, which has it's origins from a 2002 folk music site called mudcat and waaaaay too British to read naturally if you ask me.

“And be cornholed till my ass is raw.” is another one you see passed around a lot. Which feels too forum humor.

George Milburn in 1930 offers "To be a homeguard with a lemonade card.” which is naive and sweet to say the least.

The fact is we still don't know this lyric, gay punchline (or at least gay panic) as it might be. All we know is that Big Rock Candy Mountain "Was never meant to be a parlor song" in McClintock's own words.

Well that and the insight it offers into social perceptions of queerness at the time and how it's shaped and shifted in the future.

What do you think this secret gay Big Rock Candy Mountain lyric is?

#big rock candy mountain #folklore posting #homelessness #queer history

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stevieharringtonwifeguy · 1 year

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Transfem Stevie who figures it out when she goes to a gay bar with Robin (post s3?) and meets another transwoman and has a Huh, you can do that? moment.

i sort of Went Off on this one lmaoo. bc im incapable of not steddifying everything this is now T4T Steddie 2: This Time They're Lesbians- with trans girl eddie cracking stevie's egg

PLEASE NOTE: this is set in the 80s, so they use kind of outdated terminology for trans people. also there's a d slur used in a positive, self-ID way. overall the vibes are good but the language is questionable. do with that what you will lol

When Robin asks Steve to be her ‘emotional support heterosexual’ (her words) for her first visit to an Indianapolis gay club, Steve prepares himself for a night of ‘hey, have you met my friend Robin’, pointedly not hitting on any girls, and politely declining offers of drinks and dances from guys until he’s buzzed enough to admit he’s curious. And so far, that’s exactly what he’s been doing. Robin’s off dancing with a girl after Steve assured her about ten times that he’d be fine on his own. He’s just debating whether or not his inhibitions are lowered enough to go dancing when his thoughts are interrupted by a voice to his right.

“Steeeeeeeve Harrington.”

Steve turns, already cringing. Anyone who says his name with a tone like that is someone who is not going to be thrilled with seeing him in a gay club. The thing is, Steve has no idea who this person is. Can’t even really tell if they’re a guy or a girl. Their features are fairly masculine, all lean muscles and square chin, but they’ve got long, wild hair and heavy eye makeup. The cropped muscle tank with ‘Massive Dyke’ printed in lurid red muddies the waters even further.

“Oh, hey… uh…” Yeah, Steve’s pulling a complete blank. They look kind of familiar? He’s definitely seen them around. Somewhere.

They roll their eyes. “Not surprised King Steve doesn’t recognise me. Especially looking like this. What are you doing here?”

Steve sighs a little. “I’m here with a friend. She was nervous to come alone so I’m here for moral support and wingmanning.”

“Yeah, sure,” they scoff, and Steve frowns even more.

“Look, I know I was a dick in high school. And I’m genuinely sorry if I was a dick to you. But that was four years ago. I’ve grown up, and I’m here to be a good friend. Can you let me do that?”

The person blinks, and then looks a little sheepish. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair,” they say, before extending a hand. “And it’s Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

Steve smiles and shakes the offered hand. “Oh, yeah! You ran that club my kids went to- dungeons and dragons, right? Cool to see you again, dude!”

Eddie’s face does a complicated little wiggle before- “Uh, not a dude, man.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m a girl, now. Still Eddie, though, it’s just short for Edith now. Have you heard of transsexuals?”

Steve shakes his head. “I’m pretty new to this. I know, like. Five words.”

“Well, easiest way to put it is that I was born a guy, but I feel more like a girl, so now I’m, like, switching.”

“Switching…” Steve says, trying his best to look genuinely interested and confused. He generally doesn’t struggle too hard to look confused, but he’s a little worried Eddie will think he’s being a dick about it. “You can do that?”

Eddie snorts, gesturing down to herself. “Clearly.”

“Huh,” Steve says. Frankly, this is blowing his mind. “Why doesn’t everyone do that, then? Like, no one likes being a guy.”

“Ye- wait, what?”

“Like, the sexism of being a girl would suck, obviously. But everything else sounds great! Like, you get prettier clothes and you can wear makeup- and girls are so nice to other girls, I've always been kind of jealous of that.”

Eddie looks shocked, but Steve's on a roll now, almost forgetting she's there as he continues thinking aloud. “And like. Girls’ bodies are just. Better, y'know? Like what do guys have, muscles? Girls can have muscles too, but girls are just so… like, everyone wants boobs, right?”

Eddie has a strange look on her face. “I mean, I do. Because I’m transsexual.”

“When you’re transsexual, do you get boobs? Like, do you- wait, is that rude? I feel like I wouldn’t ask another girl about her boobs.”

Eddie’s silent for a moment, looking at Steve in bewilderment, before she seems to collect herself. She takes a swig of her beer and then smiles at him. It looks both welcoming and like she’s in on a secret, and puts Steve at ease. He can see why the kids were so obsessed with her in high school.

“You know what, ordinarily it would be kind of rude, but I have a feeling this conversation is… not what I thought it was gonna be,” she says, and Steve tilts his head a bit in confusion. “So yeah, I do have boobs. You can take estrogen as a little pill, and it basically does puberty for you again. You get boobs, a little extra fat on your hips and thighs, and your skin gets softer. Here, feel.”

And then Eddie takes Steve’s hand and slides it up her shirt. His brain immediately turns off. And yeah, there’s definitely a gentle swell there. They’re small, but Steve can feel the squish of them. Her nipples are pierced. Steve thinks he might die.

“Wow,” he squeaks, about five embarrassing octaves higher than his normal tone. “Cool!”

Eddie grins as she removes his hand from her tit. “Yeah, cool. I’d let you fondle them a little more, sweetheart, but they’re still growing. Kind of sore.”

Steve blushes, rubbing his hand on his thigh and desperately trying to will his boner down. “Man, I wish I could grow boobs,” he sighs, a little wistfully.

“You can, y’know,” Eddie says, with a little chuckle and a soft smile. “What’s stopping you?”

That. Steve hasn’t considered that. A hundred things come to his lips- he’s not like that, he’s not one of those- a hundred things that he knows are absolutely terrible reasons. If Robin were here she’d either be whacking him upside the head or giving him that really sad look she does whenever he’s mean to himself.

“Hey,” Eddie says, speaking softly and laying a gentle hand on Steve’s knee. It shocks him out of his spiral as he looks up into her big brown eyes. “Y’know, I’ve got some makeup in my van. If you wanted to try some things out. No one here will judge you.”

“I- yeah,” Steve is breathless. “I’d like that. Uh- my friend-”

“Oh, is she real? I’ll be honest, I kinda thought you were doing the ‘oh I’m not gay I’m just here for a friend’ thing.”

Laughing, Steve looks out over the crowd. “No, she’s real. Let me just let her know I’ll be gone for a moment- honestly she’s probably halfway to third base with some girl anyway-”

And sure enough, Robin is more than ready to let Steve wander off once he peels her off a pretty girl on the opposite side of the club. He rejoins Eddie, who leads him down the street towards her van and helps him into the back. She takes out her makeup bag, cracking jokes about their wildly different styles while she delicately brushes powder over his face. She generously refrains from threatening to take his eye out with the eyeliner pencil (more than once at least), and apologises for not having anything more ‘babygirl’ than her bright red lipstick. Steve can definitely say this is the most fun he’s ever had in the back of a van.

Finally, masterpiece done, Eddie rummages in her bag for a little compact, presenting it to Steve with a dumb little bow. Steve takes it with a roll of his eyes, and prepares himself with a deep breath.

The person in the mirror is beautiful. Glowing skin, huge doe eyes lined with smokey eyeliner and lashes a mile long, practically sinful lips. Steve almost doesn’t recognise himself, except that he does. He really, really does, in a way he now realises he never really has before. It’s the first time he’s ever looked at his face in the mirror and not wanted to change anything.

“You’re a really pretty girl, Stevie,” Eddie says with a gentle smile.

Steve can’t look away from the mirror. “Yeah,” she says, a red-lipped grin stretching across her face. “I really am.”

#steddie #t4t steddie #transfem steve harrington #transfem eddie munson #stranger things #my fics

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meraki-yao · 6 months

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RWRB: A list of thoughts on the Campfire Scene

Ok I went to sleep for another hour to calm myself down and now I can form coherent thoughts about the scene and not just scream and squeal

It's a three-minute scene with two shots. The first shot is a little over two minutes

When Alex asks his question, Henry, who was looking into the fire, tilts his head towards Alex as if to listen better. After Alex finishes, Henry looks up towards the sky, like he's wondering how to answer

Alex doesn't really react to Henry's "Once upon a time" even though he's not directly answering Alex's question. He just listens, and that's such a beautiful thing

Nick deserves a round of applause for this scene, his monologue was two minutes long, and monologues are really hard to perform because it's just you who keeps talking, you don't really get to react to other things or people, it's just you, so Nick is a fantastic job

Nick's delivery and tone, and the way he sometimes ends a sentence a bit like a question (ex: "acutely") makes it sound like Henry's been thinking about this story/ metaphor for a while but this is the first time he ever verbalizes it, so while he knows what he wants to talk about thus he doesn't need to pause a lot to think of the story, he does occasionally need to think of the next word or line because again, he never actually said any of this out loud before, and Nick does that so well

@pippin-katz pointed out that Nick misspoke and said "sent the suit a prince of armour" which is hilarious, and while because movie, this shouldn't happen, realistically we all have moments where we mix words up so it almost feels more... authentic? Also, I didn't pick it up but now that Pippin mentioned it I'm really aware of it lmao

Also Henry/Nick's voice here is so soothing? I can almost imagine him telling bedtime stories to his and Alex's kids like this in the future. I wonder if Henry would write children's books because it feels like it'd be something he do and something he could write really well, if this clip is anything to go by. Plus I stumbled across an audio of Nick reading "The Emperor's New Clothes" before (I literally have no context of why he was reading that and it was literally just audio, not sure if I can find it anymore) and it was so soothing and calming that I fell asleep to it one night. Besides the full-cast RWRB audiobook that I'm practically demanding at this point, I wonder if he would be interested in doing more audiobook/narration stuff. He's really got the voice for it

The King sending a suit of armour to protect the prince's heart kind of further proves my point of the King being a much more loving grandparent to Henry than the queen in the book, and him worrying more about Henry himself than the image of the crown. He noticed that 1, Henry is an emotionally sensitive person, 2, Henry is gay, and both of those things could be turned against him easily, and he will get hurt. He does love Henry, just not in a way that's good for Henry. If we get a sequel I do hope we can see them reconcile in one way or another. It'd be a nice example for people in the same positions.

The "Nothing will ever happen to him" line!!!! I wrote a whole essay about Kensington and this line because somehow this line was one of the most powerful ones to me, but to know that it was originally Henry's word just adds another level of pain to the Kensington scene

You can see Henry's face light up when he starts talking about the peasant boy. And Alex's quick eyebrow raise and deep chuckle. It's so beautiful, I wanna cry

We talk about Alex's heart eyes, which, yes, but Henry's look of pure adoration and love at Alex when he says "Truly Alive" makes me want to melt

I yelled a little at Alex when he started to lay back down (as in I verbally shouted "DAMMIT ALEX LOOK AT YOUR MAN") because I felt like if Alex saw Henry's face in the following lines he'd figure out Henry has issues earlier? But then I saw a take saying the shot was framed like theatre where Henry's both centre stage and in the spotlight so the focus is on him, so Alex was designed to lay back down on the timber bench to make the entire space for Henry

Henry's look of sad longing when he talks about the peasant boy pulling apart his armor is heartbreaking

I wonder if this was originally planned to be the changing point from Alex's POV to Henry's POV? Because in that case I do think the lake scene worked better as a changing point

I also wonder how did Henry end the story in his head up to this point? Because as hopefully as the last line is, at this point in the story, Henry still doesn't believe he can keep this

I get why scenes are cut because when you're putting together a movie, there are a lot of things you don't see for individual scenes until you put them together. This is why as much as I want the cast and crew to get the premiere they deserve to have, I don't really want an extended cut of the movie, because things were cut for a good reason

That being said, if the cornetto scene and this scene proved anything, is that the scenes themselves are fascinating, and I WANT THEM ALL

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #rwrb thoughts #rwrb deleted scene #my rwrb list

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sciderman · 19 days

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Sci ngl i assumed you were a cis gay dude back when i was obsessively reading your spiderpool stuff as a teenager. I’m a gay trans man and your comics always felt like a warm hug, truly my comfort doom scrolling — so it’s kinda nice to find out we’re more similar than id thought

bless you anon!! it's a pleasure having you, and i'm so, so glad my comics can be a cozy comfort for you!! kissing you so sweetly

you know, it's kind of funny, i've had an overwhelming response of people who've said they've just assumed i was male by the vibes i radiate and i'm not entirely sure what it means. i'm know you all mean it very reaffirmingly but it leaves me with a lot of questions. like, questions that i want to do further research into.

is there a masculine dialect? like how there are regional dialects? is that a thing? i kind of want to study this now. can you tell someone's gender by the way they talk like you can tell where they're from? that is so cool if it's true. how do you type like a man. what should i look for? i don't know if i've ever assumed someone's gender by the way they type. i just look at their bio and it usually says. and i kind of don't think about it when i type. i type like me. but – i think maybe i pick up the way that i talk from the media i consume (comic books) which is kind of overpoweringly male. overpoweringly populated by male characters, and written by men, y'know.

i think the way i type here on @sciderman is probably softer and more femme than the way i write on the ask-blog. on the blog when i'm answering things as Mod i kind of intentionally mimic the tone-of-voice that marvel editors use. that's an intentional choice. so - when you read what i write here it's closer to my real voice, but over on ask-spiderpool i'm putting on an act. i try to sound like a marvel editor. i call you all True Believers! it's all a persona. i think one of the things that's my strength in writing is falling into voices - i think i could be an excellent ghostwriter, if i needed to be. so very crafty at mimicry.

as a kid i always, always always would mimic the characters i liked from the movies we watched whenever i came out of the cinema. i remember doing that all the time. and it was always boys. (except frenchie from grease. she was my one female gender icon. god everyone hated me for that one. i loved doing the voice. wanted to be her so bad. wanted the pink hair. everything.)

you know,, even now The Very First thing anyone asks me when they meet me is where my accent is from, because nobody believes i'm native to london. it happened today (twice). the way i talk is a little weird. my response,, off the bat,, it's because i watched too many cartoons growing up. so,, i guess maybe i idolised too many masculine role models, and probably didn't have enough female role models. i liked the boy movies better than the girl ones. i spent more time with my dad than i did with my mom. my mom wasn't a good role model. dad says that's probably why i didn't want to be a woman. i didn't have a good role model. (sorry mom). (he's right). all kinds of variables here. i kind of want to do research into it. also i should talk to a therapist.

#sci speaks #i remember talking to someone about wade's gender feelings and how they're a result of trauma with his mother's death etc etc and.#they said it was bad of me to write that. like it's a cliché and he doesn't need trauma to feel that way. and i think that's true. but.#trauma does impact things like this.#it's just a sad truth. some quirky little bits of your identity probably do come out of some freudian thing. some childhood trauma.#some detail about your relationship with your parents.#shut UP freud stop being right about things. you suck!!!!

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gurggggleburgle · 1 year

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For various reasons i constantly think about how I want a scum villain musical thats basically what if you gave the book to starkid in terms of tone and vibe. I have very few requirements other than the entire play the joke is Shang Qinghua is the narrator and he is constantly holding the actual script in his hand and will in fact pull people aside to tell them you're off key or that's not the right line. The joke here is the play is supposed to be a faithful retailing of pidw but Shen Yuan is the only other actor who acknowledges this is a play and decides to flip the script to make a better ending. It's a whole play within a play thing.

There is a song that basically is "all you gotta do is hit that kid!🎶"

A 'im a mushroom man' song

And the cliff scene is a heart wrenching duet.

Binghe has his harem girls sing about how they're glad that he's gay

Tentpole number in the abyss where binghe does a solo rock song about taking the world so he can take one man

And of course a song about fucking over the system and being ooc

For the obvious limits a stage play presents the climax is that the Binghe wants to do a romantic duet. An ultimate symbol in theatre that they are meant to be and the melody is the underlying score of the whole play and prior to the tragic duet anytime the two sing it is not together and then they gay sing but Binghe goes so high in the notes and virbrato it kills

Just a song about big dick and maybe even loving it

I think of this all the time. Constantly. I want this adaptation so bad. I don't even want it to be like a full adapt of the book. I want it to satire musical genre conventions in the same way the book does harems and isekais. It just... Feels like the perfect bad idea

#svsss #scumbag system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #sqq #meta #i want this #but it will and should not exist #bingqiu #luo binghe #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #shang qinghua #svsss musical #i do low key have like song tunes and such #i will not call them good #my degree is in animation not music

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mariaofdoranelle · 7 months

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Look at Us Now - ch. 18

Fic masterlist

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Warnings: very light nsfw?

Words: 2,6k

“Do my boobs look too big in this?”

Aelin snapped her head back to Lysandra, that question unexpected given the birthday party they were in. She was pretty sure her friend was only being that vocal because they were alone at the table, the kids letting loose nearby with the entertainer. “What?”

Lys showed her phone—the photoshop app, to be more precise—and insisted, “Do my boobs still look freakish?”

She rolled her eyes and analyzed the picture, zooming in Lys’ boobs. Lysandra Ennar, the only person Aelin knew that made her breasts look smaller with photoshop. “They look amazing, just as they do in person. Remind me why you use those apps again?”

“Aelin Galathynius, this is a judgment-free zone,” she chastised in a low tone, the poorly-concealed crinkle in her eyes giving away that her offense was nothing but a joke. “This is an illusion, just like that pink bikini you bought with me.”

She took a sip of her milkshake, squinting her eyes at Lys. That bikini did work as a real-life photoshop, pushing up what needed to be pushed up and hugging her body like it had been made exclusively for her body. Too bad Rowan was too busy ignoring her to notice.

“Leave the pink bikini out of it.”

“Fine.” Lysandra blocked her phone and left it with the screen facing the table. “But will you ever tell me what happened on that trip?”

“Nothing happened on the trip,” Aelin lied.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t,” Aelin said before busying her mouth with chocolate milkshake.

Lysandra gasped. “Did you guys do it?”

Aelin wrinkled her nose, disappointed with herself. “No.”

“Boo!” Her friend leaned back on her chair, wearing a vacant stare. “Don’t you miss it when people were just like, ‘Hey, wanna do it or not?’ and that was it?“

Aelin choked on her milkshake. “Are you talking about college?”

“What? No!” Lys chuckled, her eyes filled with mirth. “Like, thousands of years ago when everyone was gay and poly, and people drew themselves having big orgies in vases or something.”

Aelin threw her head back, laughing. “I think they were drawing because they didn’t have cameras, Lys.”

“Still.” Her friend’s eyes narrowed, not happy to have her theory debunked. “I doubt that Ancient Aelin would be in the same situation you’re now.”

She waved Lysandra off, mostly because a godsend server approached their table with more fries and mini hot-dogs. The amount of food at children’s parties made her resent adult ones a little. When did people decide that a bunch of different cheese is proper food?

She posted the picture after Lysandra edited it completely, but her mind was going a mile a minute.

Maybe Aelin should channel Ancient Aelin.

Not literally, but after so much talking and waiting and looking for clues, maybe she should just drop a blunt question and see how much of her relationship with Rowan was salvageable. If all that waiting was leaving them somewhere or not.

And after Aelin decided to put an end to this blind anticipation, it was like nothing existed besides her goal. Every person there wasn’t Rowan, the one she needed to talk to. Every stretch of time was too long before she found him. The space between this venue and his house felt twice as long.

“You’re antsy,” Lysandra said without taking her eyes off the phone.

“I’m watching the kids.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Aelin frowned, her food tapping. “There’s this thing I have to do. Do you mind watching Maisie? I can pick her up at your place. Or you drop her at mine. I’ll owe you this one.”

Lysandra raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you making me babysit to get laid?”

“No.” Aelin felt her cheeks heating. It wasn’t a lie because she had no guarantee of getting laid, but it was part of her intention.

“Pity.” Lys picked on her nails, a nonchalant expression on her face. “Because Maisie’s a little terror, I’m only watching her for a good reason.”

“Fine,” she said through clenched teeth, resigned. “I need to see Rowan, but I’m not sure what’s gonna happen. Happy?”

“Very.” Her smile was nothing short of devilish. “Auntie Lys is happy to take over.”

˜˜

Turns out Maisie wasn’t excited about that. Instead, she decided to come with Aelin.

“We should play freeze tag,” her little girl said at the same time her phone pinged.

Aedion: who’s the chick you posted a pic with

“Not now, honey. What about some TV, and we play freeze tag later?” She suggested while typing.

Aelin: wouldn’t you like to know

Aedion: tell me

“No!” Maisie shouted inside the car. “The TV is there forever, I want to play with you and Daddy.”

Aelin held back a flinch. Even if their family was a lot closer these days, they still had separate lives. Playing all three together was a frequent occurrence now, but not enough for Maisie to discard the opportunity.

This was one of the things she was hoping to change today.

“What about the drums, Mais?”

She typed while waiting for her daughter’s response.

Aelin: she’s my soccer mom bestie

Aelin: we bond over motherhood and my cursed love life

“I do like my drums,” Maisie agreed in that stubborn way of hers, making Aelin fist pump inside her mind when her phone pinged again.

Aedion: can her husband fight

She snorted, affectionately rolling her eyes before opening Rowan’s garden gate. She wouldn’t give Aedion the satisfaction of knowing that her friend’s a single mom, especially since Lys is too good for her manwhore cousin.

After setting Maisie in the garage and making sure she was safe there, Aelin rounded the house towards the backyard and knocked on the kitchen’s back door.

It was an odd sight. Rowan’s kitchen was a mess, his sink overflowing with dirty dishes while the utensils were scrambled over the counter, looking no better than Maisie’s play kitchen. He was already leaving through the other door when he turned around and let her in.

“Hey.“ Rowan gave her a small smile. ”I heard Maisie’s drums and thought it was a ghost. The party’s over already?”

Indeed, the kid’s drums were loud and clear two rooms over. She wondered why Rowan’s parents bought the chaotic ones instead of the ones with headphones.

Aelin shook her head. Not the time to think about drums.

She took a step deeper inside the kitchen heart thrumming as his expectant eyes watched her.

“We need to talk.”

“We do,” he said before taking off his apron and hanging it near him, his movements stiff. “Do you want me to start?”

“I’ll do it.” She tapped the side of her head. “I’m ready.”

When she said it, Aelin didn’t know she was, in fact, not ready.

She watched his open—if not a little uneasy—face, recalling some rules of non-violent communication inside her head. They hadn’t needed to strictly follow it in a while, but Aelin didn’t want to risk it. She wasn’t above making a scandal, but she wanted to show Rowan that he didn’t need to hide. No matter what happened, they could still be civil. No need to run away from her or shout.

She opened her mouth, but the words didn’t come. Step 1: communicate everything that happened without blaming your partner. Since this conversation was a last-minute decision, she didn’t know how to explain everything that was happening, or even what part of the last six years to explain. She didn’t want to say a huge monologue and overwhelm his brain either.

Then she thought of step two. Telling how she felt.

Ever since they met? That whole bloody emotion wheel.

Rowan hadn’t said a word while she struggled to articulate hers, and the way he was struggling to not let her know he was struggling made her mind race even more. His face would look neutral, if it wasn’t for that mildly-veiled worry in his eyes, his lips pinched. His body would look composed, if it wasn’t for that tension in his shoulders, or the way he discreetly fiddled with his fingers, his feet silently jiggling.

Aelin cleared her throat. “I know this goes against what we learned in therapy about healthy relationships, and respecting your partner’s autonomy, and…” she trailed, then stopped and squared her shoulders. Her eyes were determined and intent on him. “I know you can do whatever you want. But, in this conversation, I’m not giving you an option where you don’t end up with me. Together. Romantically, to be loud and clear.”

Rowan blinked. One, two, too many times for her poor, agitated heart. Then he took a step back while letting out something that was between a shaky smile and a wheezy puff of breath… and gave his back to her.

Aelin’s limbs slackened as she watched him open an oven and retrieve a cake. Without even properly rejecting her.

She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, her heart aching from the weight of his rejection. All that effort, her blunt declaration. It was all in vain.

After placing the half-decorated chocolate cake—he never baked those. What’s going on?—in the counter, he ran to the living room and came back with a bouquet so big Aelin could barely see his face behind it. Kingsflower was the main feature of the bouquet.

Aelin took a step back, feeling like she's lost control of her own jaw. Her favorite cake and her favorite flowers.

Rowan tried to fix some edges of the unfinished chocolate frosting with a butter knife. Frowning at his incomplete work, he asked, “Have you ever felt like it’d be easier to die for someone than to hire a band and perform a cheesy love song for them?”

Her chuckle was watery, a little confused. “Why would you do that?”

“The whole story is a bit long, but I brainstormed a very extensive list with ways to convince you to be with me. Together. Romantically, to be loud and clear,” he replicated the last part of her inarticulate speech around a sheepish smile.

Aelin flung herself at him, her arms squeezing his middle and her forehead leaning against his collarbone when she whispered, “You never lost me, Rowan.”

“Yes, I did, and it was my fault.” His tone was just as low as he caressed Aelin’s hair against him. “I hurt you. I wasn’t there for you. I lost you.” His voice broke in the last sentence, his eyes glossy. ”I lost half of Maisie’s days too.”

“It’s on me, too.” Aelin stroked his cheek, small but reassuring. “There’s so many things I wish I’d done differently back then, but—“

“You can’t do the right choices when you’re not in the right state of mind,” Rowan quoted their therapist.

She gave him a weak smile. “Exactly.” She whispered, “I’m so sorry. For the delay, for every angry phone call, for—“

“Shh.” Rowan tangled his fingers on the back of her head, tilting her face to his as his gaze roamed over her face, searching. “I’m sorry too.”

Aelin licked her parted lips, eyes intent on Rowan’s as she felt her body temperature rise. He dipped his head, closing the distance—

“MOMMY!” Maisie screamed, shooting through the hallway as fast as a bullet. “GOTTA POO.”

Aelin startled, detangling herself from Rowan on instinct.

“Okay, honey,” she shouted, despite her breathlessness, after her daughter went to the bathroom that was right next to the kitchen. “Tell me when you’re done,”

Aelin laid her eyes on Rowan’s lips, distracted with the way his tongue licked them, and mumbled, “We must have from two to five minutes until she finishes.”

His lips closed to accommodate his snort. “Are you sure you want more kids?”

She swapped his chest, then left her hands there. God, those were nice to grope. “You’re not funny.”

“Not my strong suit, indeed.”

Without warning, Rowan pulled her face toward his, stopping for a second when the tip of their noses brushed to give her time to pull back. None of that. Aelin slid her hand to the back of his hair and pressed their lips together.

It was absolute heaven.

She opened up for him, letting his tongue in as he touched her face and hair with tender caresses. Aelin was already melting into his touch, but when she pushed her full body against his and grabbed a chunk of his hair, the mood shifted. Now, the way Rowan’s tongue massaged Aelin’s was as sinful as the way she pressed her full body against his.

Tasting her mouth like it was his, Rowan held her waist and hips like they were his lifeline. She took it was a cue to press herself against him until she left his cock bulging behind his pants, the friction making him hiss.

Rowan nipped her neck in retaliation, until it became a full ministration against her pulse point. Her moan against his ear was low, but enough to make him squeeze her waist harder. Aelin squirmed against him—

“Mom?” Maisie called from the bathroom.

Aelin took a step back, thanking Mala that Rowan looked a little amused by it, instead of annoyed like any other man would. “You done?” she shouted in Maisie’s direction.

“No.” A pause. “Have you ever had a clogged butt?”

Aelin grimaced. Not her favorite conversation topic while making out with her baby daddy for the first time in years. “Every now and then, Mais. Must run in the family, huh?”

“This sucks!”

“It never happens to me!” Rowan cut in. “My poop moves like my stomach’s a water slide because I eat green stuff that aren’t M&M’s.”

Her dad’s snark made Maisie groan. Loudly. Like a tiny teenager. “MOM! I need to unclog my butt.”

Aelin’s sigh against Rowan’s chest quickly became a chuckle. “I’ll be right back.”

He gave her a small kiss. “Go.”

“And when she left the house to meet the prince—“

“No!” Maisie shouted, interrupting her bedtime story. She was dragging her eyelids open, clearly struggling to stay awake. “She’ll meet with the witch.”

Aelin frowned. “Honey, the witch is evil. We have to run away from her, remember?”

She leaned on her elbow. “But the evil witch deserves love, too.”

“Fine,” Aelin said while Rowan put Maisie back into a sleeping position. He was never good at coming up with stories, so he just sat by their daughter’s bed while Aelin struggled to think of a tale Maisie liked. “And when she left the house to—“

“But why does she want to live with the prince? Her dad is nice.”

Aelin gave a strained smile, her patience wearing thin. “Because that’s what happens when you grow up, love. At some point, you’ll want to move out—“

“No.” Maisie crossed her arms, pouting. “We’ll live together forever, and travel together to all the places, because we’re friends and we love each other.”

That was enough to melt Aelin’s impatience. She grinned, pecking all over Maisie’s face and laying next to her in her bed. Rowan’s eyes were crinkled with joy next to them, but Aelin’s only focus was on making Maisie sleep.

“Okay, Maisy Daisy. You’re right about that.” Aelin caressed the girl’s pale blonde hair, not caring to explain that her opinion would change the second she became a teenager. Maisie started to let herself drift because of Aelin’s cuddles, they hugged until it was sure the little girl wouldn’t wake up anymore.

Aelin got up and rounded the bed until she was next to Rowan. She lightly scraped her nails against his shoulders and neck, making him shiver, and whispered, “Come on.”

Their day consisted of freeze tag, family meals, and clandestine kisses when Maisie couldn’t see. They would tell her when it felt right.

Rowan took a last peak at Maisie and adjusted her night lights, before sending Aelin a heated look that told her it was time to move to another bedroom.

When they stepped out of Maisie’s room and were out of earshot, Rowan threw Aelin against the hallway wall and captured her lips with his.

A/N: my main plot line ends here and now I’m just stretching things with lots of fluff and minor conflict just to keep things going. I’m emotional.

You can get notified when I update by either turning notifications on for @backtobl4ck-fics or entering my (sometimes glitchy) tag list!!

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I couldn’t tag the people in bold, sorry!

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin x rowan #look at us now #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfic

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girlswhowantboystobegirls · 2 months

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Kissing Classes ♡ Luke Castellan x M!Reader

previous ☆ 2nd chapter ☆ 3rd chapter

summary 1st chapter: luke asks you to teach him how to kiss to impress a girl he really likes.

1.2k words

warnings: queer sadness, bad words (tell me if i've forgotten something)

tags: pansexual!luke, mlm!reader, luke's first kiss, chb is chill with your sexuality, friends with benefits (???), friends to lovers, pre-tlt

I. "How To Kiss?"

It definitely wasn't a secret you were into men while being one. Not because you had a slur written on your forehead, it wasn't *that* obvious. But, it was recognizable since the few moments Aphrodite daughters tried to approach you, and you weren't interested (which seemed crazy enough, so smart people – and Luke – knew you were gay, or at least; in the queer spectrum).

People were okay about it, and they didn't mention it. Which made you comfortable. After all, Camp Half-Blood as a whole was an Ancient Greece reference.

Today before the iconic campfire, Luke asked you to talk about something in his cabin. You supposed it was some kind of favor because of the tone in his voice. Perhaps a shameful one, because he really didn't want to raise his voice for you to hear well. Luckily enough, you caught the words "my cabin before the campfire", unable to comprehend the rest.

Now, in the Hermes cabin, Luke and you are alone. And you can't help but wonder "what the fuck am I here for? Why is he taking so long to say whatever?"

— There's this girl...

"Oh. Right" you thought.

— Hm?

— There is this girl I really like but- you know- I never had a girlfriend so Ineverlearnedhowtokiss — you couldn't understand the last part very well.

— What?

— I want you to teach me how to kiss — Luke spat the words, not very nervous about it, well, not as much as you.

How many boyfriends have you had? One? Or maybe one and a half, there was one who probably was a situationship. How many kisses have you given? No idea. You didn't count them. Why would Luke ask you, an almost unexperienced person, to teach him how to kiss?

— Wh- why me? — you asked, touching a frustrated tone with your voice.

— You have kissed people, didn't you?

— Uhm, I don't know — you said as if you were clueless, acting it. And then raised your voice a little —. Maybe four or five times, Castellan. I don't go around and kiss every guy in this camp!

A moment of silence was made for the happiness you had on that day. Long gone.

— So you are asking me, a dude, gay, and also your bestfriend, to give your these 'kissing classes' so you can impress a girl? — you asked, impressed and angry at the proposal the Hermes Counselor had.

— Yeah. I don't feel comfortable asking anyone but you — Luke answered.

— Are you sure this doesn't have a- I don't know, homoerotic subtext? I've seen this on movies... — the look on the other boy, indicating an "I'm not playing around. This is a favor. I'm your best friend" on his expression, made your joke stop —. Alright. Who's this girl?

— She is an Aphrodite kid. You don't know her.

— Aaalright. Maybe I don't, but what's her name?

— Doesn't matter. I just know they always expect the best for a partner and I want to reach that.

— Okay, okay, you are down bad — you laughed a little —. But really, out of all people, why me? It's weird that you are asking your gay friend to kiss you to impress a girl, well- unless she's into that stuff, which is not really okay either.

Luke had a serious expression on his face. He really wanted you to do him that favor.

— I can sneak anything you want if you do me this favor, really. Yes or no?

"He's desperate" you thought. Yes, it was nice to help out a friend, but not really when you had a crush on him and he casually asks you to teach him how to kiss. It hurt a little.

— Sneak me a CD player. I wanted one for a long time — you became a little more serious. You could get a player to listen to your favorite CDs from your human parent. "Just don't close your eyes in the teaching" you thought to yourself, maybe you could hide your crush.

— I can do that — Luke smiled after a while of not doing so. He was satisfied. You certainly tried to appear so, too.

— So... I suppose it's a first time for you with a girl. You shouldn't look really desperate, it's a daughter of the Goddess of Love. She would want to take things her way — you assumed, looking anywhere but to your friend.

— Care to show me? — Luke was grinning like an idiot. You wanted to punch him.

You stayed silent for a bit:—. I do mind, but well — you said.

Hermes' Cabin Counselor held one of your shoulders and pulled you close. You tried so much not to close your eyes and seize the moment, it wasn't alright to do so.

At some point, Luke grabbed your other shoulder with his free hand and pulled you even closer, which made you nervous (quite an awful lot, you tried to play it cool).

The kiss wasn't bad, and you weren't playing favorites at all. It was a first time for Luke, it was disorganized and full of things to explore. A good kiss nonetheless.

You pulled away after a few moments. Fortunately for you, the blush you had could have been mistaken with lack of breathing for a while.

— Don't do the shoulder thing with her. At all — you tried to sound normal, but your voice was kind of shaky —. It makes you look like you crave her an awful lot, I don't think an Aphrodite kid would like it that fast.

— What should I do then? — Luke looked focused. He was looking at you, yet you tried to avoid his gaze.

— Maybe lean close to her lips and wait for her to give you the consent! You know, people appreciate consent. I'm sure she would too.

— Alright — the Hermes Cabin Counselor looked confused while holding a grin, but you kept going.

— Make sure she wants to kiss. Some Aphrodite kids are unreadable. But yeah, be more gentle, maybe keep the shoulder thing for- for another time? — you stuttered a bit.

— Yeah, thanks. I'll tell you how it goes — he responded, still with that stupid smile of his which you've grown to hate as of just a matter of your recent interaction.

— Bye. Good luck with the lovergirl — you said while getting close to the door, and then left.

The rest of the campers were going back to their respective cabins, so you went to yours too.

Maybe if you had that damn CD player Luke promised you, you would be able to listen to Queen, Blur, The Smiths or The Cure to match your mood. But you didn't have the device. At least not yet.

You went to sleep wishing there isn't going to be a second time, because you would lose your mind. Hell, your crush confessed he liked a girl (that was the normal part of it), and used you to know how to kiss her. Maybe it was just a plan to play with you, wouldn't have been the first time someone did that. But it was Luke you were thinking about, he wouldn't do that.

"Then what the fuck is it?" you thought while almost falling asleep completely.

A day worth of 'I tried to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies and hiding the tears in my eyes because boys don't cry'. But that CD player wasn't there.

#Spotify #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy series #luke castellan

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erinelliotc · 1 month

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I was thinking about "A Fistful of Ed" because I always see people talking about how gay they're being in this scene. I personally never thought much about it because Eddy's using Double D's reputation as a bully to earn respect from the other kids and boss everyone around and that naturally makes him very excited and makes him cling to Double D (more than usual), which in the end doesn't change how gay the scene is because there was no need for him to be so nice to Double D and worry so much about making him comfortable in order to use him (like when he makes Double D his wife/romantic partner in his scams/plans. There's no need for this, it doesn't change anything in the plan, he just adds this part because he wants to). Double D is already his long time friend, he didn't need to act differently in any way to use him to his advantage, he just had to be around him as usual.

And before even thinking about ruling the place, Eddy's first reaction was to be impressed and extremely excited and admired by Double D, finding him very cool, and I'd say he even seems attracted to that side of Double D. With this vision in mind, the way he starts to act towards Double D from then on seems like someone "marking territory", wanting to show that that cool and strong guy already has an owner. Eddy's feeling like the luckiest guy in the world to be close to such a cool guy like him. The scene now has a "Look at my cool boyfriend who's going to kick your ass! You wish you had him, but he's mine!" energy. He also wants to be nice to Double D to please and seduce him.

From this, I conclude that part of his excitement is because he's actually genuinely proud and happy for Double D that he has finally become more confident and learned to be able to defend himself, something we know he really wanted to happen and tried to help Double D with in "Tag Yer Ed" (one of my favorite episodes because it shows how much Eddy cares about Double D, as he spends the entire episode, spontaneously, just dedicating himself to helping Double D be stronger and more confident because he can't stand seeing him being mistreated by others), and besides, I think he might find it hot to see Double D show an aggressive, strong, confident and determined side for a change, and that also makes him admire him more and think he's cool because it reminds him of his brother, the person he admires most in the world.

In fact, I came to this interpretation because I was reflecting more and this scene from "A Fistful of Ed" reminded me of a post someone made about a scene from "Tinker Ed" (a post that Danny Antonucci shared on Facebook by the way!!!) and made me draw a parallel between the two scenes.

The post talks about how Double D's smitten with Eddy in this scene. He doesn't seem like someone who's just happy for his friend, his expressions indicate that he seems to be melting with love for Eddy's unexpected kindness. He's completely touched by just seeing Eddy being kind, as if this were his weakness, something that makes him more attracted to Eddy.

But the impression I have is that Eddy's acting like this on purpose, trying to seduce Double D (maybe not from the beginning, but the moment he realizes that Double D is completely melting in love with him, he immediately takes advantage of the moment) because he was so inexplicably sweet in this scene, he never acts like that, but he knows how much Double D appreciates kindness. There's no heterosexual explanation (so much so that this episode's storyboard was made by Raven Molisee, so it was certainly intentionally gay). It seems to me that he just wanted to share a sweet romantic moment with Double D and wanted to melt his heart by showing him how kind he can be sometimes. Like, Double D says he's very proud of Eddy in the most passionate tone of voice possible, and Eddy immediately reacts by reciprocating and wrapping him in his arm, and the detail of his hand on Double D's waist always gets me. And Eddy even keeps showing off to Double D, bragging about his kindness, saying he's "all heart". And on top of that, Eddy saying "Right, Ed?", asking him to confirm what he's saying, why does he suddenly involve Ed in the situation? It seems a lot like that kind of situation where a guy asks his friend to help him win over his crush by confirming the things he tells his crush with the intention of seducing him. Like, why is he trying so hard to convince Double D that he's a sweetheart? I don't know any other way to interpret this other than him blatantly flirting with Double D. They exchange lots of touches and looks and end the scene walking away hugging each other exactly like a couple, and they do it so naturally.

Anyway, the parallel I wanted to draw when comparing both scenes was that in both they surprise each other with unexpected behaviors that please them. Eddy was attracted to Double D's supposed aggressiveness and determination, and Double D was attracted to Eddy's supposed kindness and sweetness. They're also both proud of each other in both scenes.

#ed edd n eddy #ededdneddy #eene #ed edd and eddy #eddeddy #eddxeddy #edd x eddy #eddyedd #eddyxedd #eddy x edd #eene analysis #my analysis #danny antonucci #raven molisee

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64-jungle-planks · 23 days

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Night at the Museum: Redesigning Characters 2/4(?)

Character profile: Al "Scarface" "Snorky" Capone

This character is based off of and takes inspiration from the historical Al Capone.

Real Name: Alphonse "Al" Gabriel Capone

Nickname and Meaning: Scarface - He earned this nickname because of the three scars on the left side of his face, two on his cheek and one on his neck. Embarrassed by them, Al hates the nickname and never shared the real story of how he got them, siting that he actually got them fighting in WWI.

Snorky - Snorky was slang for sharp dresser. Al loved expensive, flashy clothes. Only close friends used it for him

Age: 26 (January 17, 1899)

Time Period: America's Prohibition in the 1920s, around mid-1925 Johnny Torrio, Al's boss, stepped down and let Al take over the Outfit.

Family: James "Jimmy" Vincenzo Capone, Raffaele "Ralph" James Capone, and Salvador "Frank" Capone + Three younger brothers and one sister that wasn't brought back.

(Headcanons under the cut)

Based on/taken from History:

Can play Banjo and Mandolin, prefers Mandolin

involved in the Five Points Gang with mobster John Torrio as a kid. John Torrio mentored him and gave him the role as the Chicago Mob leader

Only got into the mob for the money to care for his family

Can go from 1 to 10 very quickly

Played in a semi-pro team in Brooklyn as a kid/teen with Ralph. They were known as the Al Capone Stars

+ Intelligent + Generous + Confident - Overdramatic - Attention seeker - Petty

My own silly headcanons:

A little twerp, Al doesn’t respect authority

Feels that he’s better than Ivan and Napoleon because he’s from a newer generation and knows more.

“Okay boomer” vibes

Acts like he hates Napoleon and Ivan (mostly Napoleon), but likes them secretly. They are two men in history that did grand things- in fact he liked learning about Napoleon in school! Al just thinks he had a too big of a head.

Only has one tone of voice- really loud

Swears every other word

He’s a basically still a kid, one with too much power. Al knows his way around the mob, he’s been in it since he was around 15, but now he’s been given power over the Outfit and hasn’t come down off that high yet of being in charge.

Hes happy to have Frank back, they were four years apart in age and were extremely close. He’s missed Frank the year he’s been dead

Was extremely tempted to play baseball using the Einstein’s as balls. He doesn’t like them.

On that note, Al is slightly unnerved around the miniatures. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself around them.

He likes sitting at the bench in middle of the hall of miniatures just watching them. Al liked Cowboys and liked playing cowboys and robbers with his brothers as a kid. Some part of him wishes he could be part of their group.

After finding the Sinatra songs made after Al died, he’s constantly found humming them and making up his own lyrics to go along with them. He likes That’s Life the best.

Al somehow acquires a camcorder and films the whole night that they’re trying to take over the world, making himself a big star and part of the plan. He wants that stardom, he loved it when he was alive – he was just getting a part of it when he was alive

Really loves making up nicknames and short stories for people around him. One of his favorite things to do with Ralph is people-watch.

Al: I don’t like Napoleon! He’s a fuckin’.. fuckin’ bitch! A short ass goblin! Ralph: Yeah.. goblin’ that dick. Frank: MMHHEHEHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! Al: What.

Makes jokes about Napoleon and his boys being gay because he's frightened about questioning his own sexuality. He knows he likes women, but he's got that good ol' "1910's Christian beat the gay away" ideal still stuck in his head. It takes a bit for Al to realize he's bi

Loves giving gifts

He likes having at least one of his brothers by his side. Historically it's been Ralph, but during the events that take place during NATM 2, Al kept Frank close because he was frightened of loosing him again.

Frank, Ralph, Napoleon

#NATM #natm au #night at the museum ocs #night at the museum #Night at the museum 2 #Night at the museum battle of the Smithsonian #NATM 2 #Al Capone natm #natm al capone #Al Natm #Night at the museum Al Capone #Al Capone Night at the museum #Frosty's art #Apr. 5 #2024 #Apr. 2024 #Napoleons trying to poke Al’s eyes out #I might redo Al’s ref when I’m done with everyone

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