#just chapter 17 now but I’ll try to post weekly

[sydneyadmu]

THE MANDALORIAN season 3 headers (twitter)

- like or reblog if you save/use!

- the requests are open <3

#just chapter 17 now but I’ll try to post weekly #btw the requests are of sw productions/characters #I can try doing from other films too! #also I’m open to icon requests <3 #the mandalorian #din djarin #grogu #greef karga #bo katan kryze #headers #*twitter stuff

[melodygatesauthor]

Weekly Update

09/17/2023 (Yeah I'm a day late, so what, wanna fight about it?)

Announcements/Reminders

Just a little reminder that I've slowed down production as far as writing goes. I'm still writing daily. Sometimes it's a sentence, sometimes it's 3k words, but I'm trying to be kinder to myself and remember that it's a hobby, not a job. I also really want to start my novel and stop pressuring myself to finish fics FIRST so I'm doing that.

Updates will still be happening for all my WIPS - see a comprehensive list of my current WIPs here - but I'm just not pressuring myself by setting deadlines. Thank you for still being supportive <3

ART ANNOUNCEMENTS

I'm taking art commissions! - Pricing - Follow my art blog: @melodymakesart

I did my first full color NSFW drawing! It can be seen HERE. It's a series, so there will be two more drawings coming out over the next couple weeks!

Fic Updates

So after taking last week off from working on my WIPs all together - (Note: I spent the week working on a Basil fic and also working on my Duke Leto fic) - I'm feeling a bit more refreshed and ready to get back into working on them again.

Fic Updates

Disclaimer - I never know which way the winds of inspiration will blow. Timeframes aren’t a promise/guarantee, they’re a goal.

Fic Updates Legend:

Blue - Update this week

Pink - Update in progress

Red - Backburner Fic (not currently working on. See WIP list for status)

You can find my current WIP list here

Chaptered Fic Updates

Always Yours, Never Mine - Chapter 4 is in progress, hoping to have the next update out either next week or the week after!

The Fractured Moon - Chapter 4 is in progress for this one as well. I'm not going to promise an update for next week but I'm actively working on it.

Mini-series Updates

Feeling You Can’t Fight - Okay, I've been putting off editing this one for so long and idk why but I'm going to get it done and posted on Wednesday 09/20/2023 this week!

Worth the Risk - That's right, babygirl is making her way back into my scope. You guys voted on this poll to give me an idea of what you wanted me to work on (not including TFM and AYNM) so I put this back in my field of view since you all seemed to want it so bad!

Remember to look at my WIP list for other backburner fics - There are many not included above lol).

AI Character Bot Updates

I currently have the following bots on my list that I’m working on. If you have any suggestions or additions you’d like, please feel free to ask! I won’t make every single one I get asked for but I’ll make some of them as I get time!

DBF Jake and Steven (I already did Marc...did I ever post him? I thought I did but maybe not)

Patient Steven and Marc

Moon Knight Rescue scenario

Am I missing any? Don't see one on the list that you want to add? Send me an inbox or private message! No promises, but if I like the idea I'll make an AI bot.

Note: Yes it's taking me forever to make them SHUT UP

I think that's all for now! Much love!

Don't forget to follow my other blogs:

@melodymakesart - My art blog

@lockandkeynovel - The blog for my original fiction novel, Lock & Key

@melodyreadsfanfiction - The blog where I reblog works I intend to read, a good place for fanfic readers to follow!

@melodygatesupdates - This is where I'll reblog any chapter updates for my fics and whatnot. This is what I use instead of a tag list!

#melody gates weekly updates #melody talks #melodys weekly updates #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #marc spector #steven grant #moon knight #jake lockley

[megaboy335]

Anime and Manga Log [5/28/23]

Over the years I’ve thought about doing a blog to post my thoughts about various manga and anime. Recently my good buddy @silvertsundere​ started a weekly AniManga post where he posts some short thoughts each week.  I however, usually have a lot to say. It would take me forever to write up long discussions about every single chapter update I read each week. So I’ll be picking out a few titles to talk about each week. From Jump I will discuss my weekly top 3 and anything else I want to talk about.

Weekly Shonen Jump has been the core of my reading diet for nearly 15 years now. I have been following Shonen Jump since the mid-2000s when Viz was releasing the print magazine. Later around mid-2008 and into 2009 I got into Ohba and Obata’s Bakuman. This lead me to learning about the toc rankings and I started following the magazine religiously. I love the raw energy of a Shonen Jump series. Due to the competitive nature of its ranking system the series are always trying to improve themselves and catch the readers off guard. There’s nothing else quite like it. In comparison, Shonen Magazine series frequently have an emphasis on romance (and fan service) or its a sports manga. Shonen Sunday titles are usually very chill. They prefer to develop characters at a slow natural pace. Jump series always have something happening since losing readership could cost them a position in the magazine. I’ve been entertained by series of all genres short and long out of Jump. In fact it was talking about Nisekoi that made my Tumblr blog semi-famous in 2014-16. The creed of “Friendship! Effort! Victory!” will never fail you. I’m currently reading everything from Weekly Shonen Jump, most Jump+ titles, and a few other series from other magazines. My Kodansha reads are paused at the moment because KManga is a bad app. The only Shonen Sunday series I am caught up with is Frieren (on hiatus). Eventually I’ll get caught up with a few others so I can follow Viz Media simuls. I generally only read official releases and prefer to keep scanlations to a minimum. 

So without further ado, discussion for the series listed below are under the Keep Reading. I’m hoping to make this a weekly post going forward. There will be spoilers and opinions below. Be warned. 

- Sakamoto Days Ch.120 - Blue Box Ch.102 - Cipher Academy Ch.25 - Naruto: Konoha Story Ch.15 [END] - Pokemon Horizons Ep.8 - Soaring Sky! Precure Ep.17

Sakamoto Days 120: Sakamoto Days is the mindless action series in the line-up right now. Its very much inspired by movies like John Wick. Lately we’ve been a backstory about Uzuki and Sakamoto’s relationship. The biggest selling point of the series is Suzuki’s endless creative imagination of cool set pieces. They never cease to amaze me with how the character interact with the location to defeat their opponent. If I had to guess, the series is about halfway complete right now. Still a ways to go, but plotlines are starting to center around the baddie of the series. This week’s chapter finished the backstory with a fight between Sakamoto and Uzuki. Instead of the grand speculate we usually have, this fight was more grounded. No dialogue for half the chapter. Just a rapid exchange of blows. Leaving the backstory in Uzuki’s pov shows this how incident is still something he thinks about, and connects his character to Sakamoto. I always look forward to reading this series. When is the anime going to be announced? Blue Box 102: The series just cleared its 2nd anniversary and its going as strong as ever. Blue Box is a slow burn romance following our main couple struggling in sports and love. Its a story filled with youth and presented with the thin loose line work of Kouji Miura. She always puts an emphasis on capturing a character’s expressions in the moment. It will frequently hold a reaction shot to show specific mannerisms. Lately, the series has been gearing up for a long awaited confession between Taiki and Chinatsu. Its been a long time coming, though I am unsure if the series will actually do it. Rom-Coms aren’t known for changing the status quo in the middle of the series. This week’s chapter teases our main couple being much closer than they imagined in terms of proximity. They’re both unknowingly to the other in the same area. That’s lead Taiki on a fast sprint to catch up with Chinatsu. Will they meet each other or just barely miss? Its hard to say. The scenery shot of the frozen lake in this week’s chapter was very pretty.  Cipher Academy 25: The return of Nisioisin to Jump was near the top of my wish list, and I can confidently say he’s been delivering week after week. The story is about an academy of code solvers where literally every single thing is decided by your ability to decode a puzzle. It’s such a Nisioisin concept. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be catching on with readers. Cipher Academy has been ranking low in the toc rankings. The recent chapters have been getting down to business with moving the plot to its ultimate goal of unearthing the big Crypto collection (yes you read right that, Nisio is writing about Crypto of all things) hidden deep within the academy. The leading Class Private of each class are going to participate in a tournament arc to determine the “Code Emperor”. Now admittedly for a manga about codes, they don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of the writing. The codes are always plot devices for the characters to interact around. Nisio’s greatest strength of conveying character traits with eccentric dialogue is very much here, and with the added visual language of Iwasaki art. Together they compliment each other quite well. But anyhow, Nisio tournament arc sounds like its going to be exciting. Iroha is going to have to put his brain into overdrive to outwit his peers. Don’t get cancelled on me Cipher Academy!

Naruto: Konoha Story Ch.15 [END] This finishes the pair of Naruto Light Novel manga adaptations that began last fall. Konoha Story was previously adapted into Boruto so I was already familiar with the story. It followed Mirai learning to believe in herself more and discovering the legacy she’s been left. Throughout the story we had cameos from several old character each of whom imparted some wisdom into Mirai. Sadly, it falls into the trap of all post-Naruto. They rely on recycling old plotlines instead of pushing the canon forward. In this case because the story is about Mirai and since Asuma died to Hidan, from the Jishin cult, Mirai has to face someone from the cult in modern day. Luckily, Kishimoto left a good foundation with the team 10 dynamics for the story to work with. At the very least Mirai’s character feel more natural in the world and something we were bound to see at some point. Overall, enjoyable and the manga was a nice way to experience the story again. [Final Score: 6/10]

Pokemon Horizons Ep.8: We’re two months into the new Pokemon anime and its finishing the prologue phase of the story. We’ve had intro arcs for both Riko and Roy. They each have an ancient artifact that’s sure to connect to a bigger plot. We know very little about the villain group right now. However, its still been great so far! First, its refreshing to have a female protagonist for a change and have main characters who can have organic character development. I guess placing them both school better connects to the target audience and game characters. Poor Riko only got to spend 1 episode in school before getting swept up in the plot. I appreciate slower pace of long running anime. Episode 8 focused on the streamer character Dot. She’s a shy in person, but puts on a high energy performance on the internet. Similar to the seiyuu’s counterpart in Bocchi. Exciting things are ahead as the gang is about to land in Paldea.

Soaring Sky! Precure Ep.17: I started watching Precure weekly during the 15th anniversary series Hugtto, and here we are at the 20th series Soaring Sky. Precure series often have some of the most solid character writing among airing shows. Unlike 1 cour incomplete adaptations, Precure gets 4 whole cours to flesh out its characters. Soaring Sky is a return to form with a focus on a central main duo and hand to hand combat. The cure designs are better made than usual for animation. That allows for most episodes to feature some nice movement or character acting when it matters most, as seen once again in this week’s episode. Sora was tasked running a relay, and she wanted Mashiro to be the one passing the baton. It was a cute story that once again reinforces the friendship bond shared between our duo. Despite monster fight feeling tacked onto the scenario this week, it featured some slick movements. Next episode is the long awaited debut of Cure Butterfly. Ageha can finally start on Precure adventures as one of the squad.

Full read/watch list for the week:

#Mega Log #Weekly Shonen Jump #the return of my Tumblr

[tediousdelusion]

1, 3, and 17 for the writers asks? 🖤

Ooooooh, thank you, thank you! I love ask games :) Most of this is under the cut because... I have never met concision.

1.) What font I use depends on what I am writing and whether it is for fun or for work. Most of my work/academic projects have to be in Times New Roman, and so I tend to use it from the jump, so that I know where I am re: page counts. But for creative/low stakes projects, I don’t care and will typically use the default font. This bleeds into 3, but a lot of my indifference comes from the fact that I write a lot in notes apps because I like to have something that syncs between my phone and my laptop and that lets me work without a constantly updating word count (to keep me from worrying about it too much).

3.) Oooh, okay. I don’t know if this question means “ritual” as in a ritual for each writing session or ritual for the entire writing process, but I’ll try and hit each because... well, I’m pretty sure they are both cursed, haha.

Overall process:

- Get a Big Idea about what I want to write. This is usually very vague and leans on a theme or unresolved question. E.g., how can I resolve X and Y contradictory ideas? How can I realistically get tragic character to happy ending? What would legacy mean to this character?

- Receive incredibly detailed vision of a single scene from the muses. Often, but not always, the opening scene. Write this down.

- Think on where I want to end up with the characters, enough that I have some sense of how to answer the original question/theme. This is the ending point for the work and, once I have it, I go in and try to outline what needs to happen to get there.

- Write individual scenes, usually following the outline. If I have a really good understanding of how I want the work to go, I can write them in any order/order of interest or inspiration. If I have a more loose understanding of the work, then I try to go more or less in chronological order, so that I don’t contradict myself or mess up the character arcs.

- Edit. This can either be just fixing grammar errors or it can involve reworking and reordering entire scenes.

- Post!

Cursed because: 1) My outlines are really vague with single sentence descriptions for entire scenes and so if I put down a WIP and come back to it it’s like trying to do a puzzle with only half the pieces. 2) I have no idea how long it will take and so your guess is as good as mine as to when I will post next. I cannot write chapters weekly. The best I can do is edit things that are prewritten.

Individual writing session:

- Wonder around or do something else while thinking about the WIP or idea. A lot of my ideas are just like, idly floating around in my brain all day while I go do actual work.

- Figure out how I want a scene or piece of dialogue to go.

- Write down anything specific immediately, if struck by inspiration. For this reason, I do a lot of writing in the notes app because if I am out on a walk and I think of a line I like, I just write it down.

- Take time to actually sit down and write what I have in mind. I don’t edit during a first draft and if I get stuck, I take a quick pause.

Cursed because: 1) I’m using the notes app like a word processor, which I know it is not. And if the work gets too long/complicated, I have to switch it over to a Real Word Processor. 2) I don’t necessarily listen to music, though I am usually always listening to music. But I don’t have a dedicated writing playlist. I don’t even always listen to something that relates to the piece. 3) The amount of research that goes into any of this is wildly inconsistent and varies based on my mood.

17.) Okay. I will refrain from writing a literal book because this is already long, but I will add in some Lore(TM) from the two WIPS I have going right now.

Untitled Steddy Hands WIP

Probably not a huge shocker that the messy throuple dynamics got me... But this one is essentially an unofficial sequel to a series of inspired follies that follows Izzy (and the rest of the Revenge crew) after the Ed/Stede reunion. Essentially, Izzy wants to leave post-Stede reunion but stays because, rightly or wrongly, he thinks that they need someone on board who won’t hesitate to kill. Cue Izzy moping around on the Revenge and (reluctantly) starting to bond with the crew. Until Stede ends up killing for Izzy and sending Izzy into a bit of a crisis. (There was an excellent post that first gave me this idea, but I can’t find it right now...)

A lot of what will be left out or left to implication focuses on the Kraken era and reunion. I don’t know if I have a completely definitive narrative outlined for this, but I imagine that the Kraken era was really bad - to the point where Izzy knows that things are fucked, and that he has a lot of internal conflict around Stede’s return. And Stede has spent some time on his own and so he is mildly more capable than where we leave him at the end of S1. Lucius’ survival will likely be handwaved, but this is probably an “alive in the walls” situation pre start of the fic.

This will make it in, haha, but I am currently rather enamored with this exchange:

"Well, then," Bonnet says, gesturing broadly to the space in front of them. "Lead on, MacDuff." Izzy rolls his eyes, but steps forward all the same. "That's not the line." He doesn't look back as he ducks through the doorway to the masthead, but he can imagine the way that Bonnet’s expression must pinch as he calls back, just a step behind. "I'm sorry?" "That's not the fucking line." Izzy steps up and leans forward on the rail, shifting to favor his uninjured arm. "It's 'lay on, MacDuff,' not 'lead on.'" At Bonnet’s continued puzzlement, he adds. "McBeth is baiting him into a fight, not asking for directions." "I didn't know you read Shakespeare." "You didn't ask."

as they kiss consume (working title)

This is my endless Black Sails WIP, haha. I know where it’s going, I am just incredibly, unbelievably slow in actually writing it. (I think part of it is that it requires walking around in Silver’s mind and he is constantly trying to evict me...) The short version is that it’s an alt. version of S3 where Miranda lives, following alternating viewpoints. Through a long series of events, Thomas and Vane are stuck on the plantation together while Silver, Flint, and Miranda are in Nassau as Woodes Rogers arrives.

A couple Lore Thoughts about it are:

- Thomas often references classic literature and he has a Cassandra-like-quality to him in that characters tend to follow the role of whatever comparison he first makes for them. (E.g., Vane as Sampson)

- I have a London era anecdote that probably won’t make it. I saw a cute old comic about a husband finding out about his wife’s lover because the lover tied her stays with a different knot than he had in the morning and... anyway, I think that Flint flirted with London-era Thomas by tying Miranda’s stays with increasingly complicated knots during their affaire.

Sorry this is so long!!!

#asked and answered #my wips #long post #i dont know when to shut up #and i will not change

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays (Chapter 7)

Happy Halloween!

Warning: Minor burns

Chapter 6 | Masterlist | Chapter 8

V- (8:04 AM) Happy first day of Halloween!

L- (8:05 AM) Virgil, it’s October 1st. Halloween isn’t for another 30 days.

V- (8:05 AM) We must be celebrating different holidays. Halloween lasts from October 1st to October 31st. For the entire month, you watch cheesy Halloween movies and decorate your home in black, purple, and orange. Spiders and bats become your daily esthetic. There are no exceptions to this rule.

P- (8:06 AM) I have arachnophobia and most of our decorations are green. Is that alright, Kiddo?

V- (8:06 AM) … There is one exception.

L- (8:07 AM) This is preposterous.

R- (8:07 AM) Calm down, Specs. Let our Dark and Stormy Knight have his holiday. We don’t want another incident of Pi Day, do we?

V- (8:08 AM) What happened on Pi Day?

P- (8:08 AM) Logan wanted to spend the day memorizing as many digits of Pi as possible. Roman told him that Pi day was only for baking pies. Logan decided to etch as many digits of pi as he could fit into the crust of a pie before baking it. Sadly, baking isn’t Lolo’s exPIEtise.

R- (8:09 AM) He almost burnt the house down. It was hilarious.

L- (8:09 AM) I will back down from this argument, if only to preserve my dignity. Since you decided to text us at 8 AM, I assume that you have plans to celebrate your “first day of Halloween?”

V- (8:10 AM) Yep. I’ve got my Scooby-Doo VHS tapes, an entire gallon of iced coffee, and enough decorations to cover every square inch of my house. Life is good.

R- (8:11 AM) Wait which tapes?

V- (8:11 AM) Zombie Island, Witch’s Ghost, Alien Invaders, and Cyber Chase. The 4 best Scooby-Doo movies to ever exist.

R- (8:12 AM) Now I REALLY wanna watch Scooby-Doo

V- (8:12 AM) What’s stopping you?

L- (8:12 AM) The desire to have a stable income

R- (8:13 AM) I’m starring as Van Helsing for our theatre’s production of Dracula. I’ve got rehearsals and performances almost every night.

V- (8:13 AM) Sorry. I’ll watch it in your stead.

R- (8:14 AM) Gee, how thoughtful of you

(October 8th)

L- (2:32 PM) Virgil, did you seriously buy MORE chocolates?

V- (2:32 PM) Do you like them?

L- (2:32 PM) That’s not the point.

L- (2:33 PM) This is the 7th set of sweets you’ve sent us in the past 8 weeks. First of all, this is extremely unhealthy. Second of all, how much money have you spent on these? Third of all, you tend to send chocolates specifically when you’re planning something that we disapprove of. So what, pray tell, are you planning this time?

V- (2:34 PM) Wow, I didn’t realize you were keeping track of that.

L- (2:34 PM) I keep track of everything. Quit ignoring the questions.

V- (2:35 PM) Okay. First of all, if they make you happy it doesn’t matter. Second of all, if it makes you happy it doesn’t matter. Third of all, if it makes you happy it doesn’t matter :)

L- (2:35 PM) …

V- (2:35 PM) Besides, you wouldn’t want me to STOP sending you sweets, would you?

L- (2:36 PM) … Curse you and your knowledge of my sweets addiction.

V- (2:36 PM) :)

(October 15th)

L- (5:47 PM) VIRGIL!

V- (5:48 PM) Hm?

L- (5:48 PM) DID YOU SERIOUSLY TP OUR HOUSE?!?!?

V- (5:49 PM) You have no proof

L- (5:50 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of a door. There is a square of TP taped to the door, the words “VIRGIL WAS TOTALLY NOT HERE” written in sharpie]

V- (5:50 PM) See? I was totally not there.

V- (5:51 PM) And I sent you pre-apology chocolates, so you can’t get mad!

L- (5:52 PM) I CAN STILL GET MAD

V- (5:52 PM) NO YOU WON’T OR I’LL STOP GETTING YOU CHOCOLATES

L- (5:53 PM) YOU WOULDN’T

V- (5:53 PM) TRY ME BITCH

R- (5:55 PM) I don’t know WHAT you did, but Logan called me, screeched your name, and hung up. Keep up the good work, storm cloud ;)

(October 22nd)

V- (3:42 PM) Hey Pat?

P- (3:42 PM) What’s up, Kiddo?

V- (3:42 PM) You bake, right?

P- (3:43 PM) It would be very hard to run a bakery if I couldn’t, Kiddo!

V- (3:43 PM) True

V- (3:43 PM) So what do you do if your cookies catch on fire?

P- (3:43 PM) WHAT

V- (3:44 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of an oven. The door is open, and inside is a tray of Pillsbury ghost sugar cookies. They are all on fire]

P- (3:44 PM) PUT IT OUT

V- (3:44 PM) HOW

P- (3:45 PM) DON’T YOU HAVE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER?!?!

V- (3:45 PM) WON’T THAT RUIN THE COOKIES?

P- (3:45 PM) THOSE COOKIES ARE GONERS. ACCEPT YOUR LOSS

V- (3:46 PM) [*Photo attachment*]

[The photo is of the same oven. The door is still open, yet the entire inside of the oven is covered in foam]

V- (3:46 PM) Now what?

P- (3:46 PM) First of all, turn off the oven.

V- (3:47 PM) Done

P- (3:47 PM) Okay. Now answer me this: HOW THE FUDGE DID YOU MANAGE TO CATCH PREMADE SUGAR COOKIES ON FIRE???

V- (3:48 PM) I DON’T KNOW! I JUST PUT THEM IN THE OVEN AND SUDDENLY THEY WERE ON FIRE

L- (3:48 PM) Are you alright, Virgil? Did you sustain any burns or other injuries?

P- (3:48 PM) HOLY STARS I SHOULD’VE ASKED! ARE YOU OKAY VIRGIL?

V- (3:49 PM) I’m fine. I burned my wrist but it’s not that bad.

L- (3:49 PM) Will you please send a picture of your injury?

V- (3:49 PM) [*Photo attachment*]

[The photo is of a left hand. The hand is long, slender, and pale. The nails are long and painted black with cat noses and whiskers. The person’s wrist has a minor burn wound, around the size of a golf ball]

L- (3:50 PM) You are correct, Virgil. It appears to be a minor burn, no need to contact the hospital. However, I would greatly appreciate it if you tend to your burn at your earliest convenience.

P- (3:50 PM) Go wrap up that burn, kiddo! Make sure you add burn cream, too!

P- (3:51 PM) AND OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOUR NAILS! They’re PAWsitively PURRfect!

L- (3:51 PM) Please stop

P- (3:52 PM) Alright. Wouldn’t wanna have a CATastrophe, would we?

L- (3:52 PM) Please. I beg of you.

V- (3:53 PM) Okay, all patched up. What do I do about my cookies?

L- (3:53 PM) Make sure your oven has fully cooled down before attempting to clean it.

P- (3:54 PM) AND DON’T DO THAT EVER AGAIN, MISTER!

P- (3:54 PM) You nearly gave me a heart attack!

V- (3:55 PM) Sorry, won’t happen again.

L- (3:55 PM) I assume that this means you will be buying post-apology sweets? I assure you that it is unnecessary, Virgil. Your health and safety are more important than confectionaries.

L- (3:57 PM) Virgil?

L- (3:57 PM) Please refrain from buying more sweets.

L- (3:58 PM) I’ve already gained 3.4 pounds alone from these “Gifts”

V- (3:58 PM) Too late, already bought them

P- (3:58 PM) You don’t have to, Kiddo!

P- (3:59 PM) And Lolo, don’t blame V on your weight gain. I know Ro’s not the only one sneaking whole jars of jelly from the cabinets at night.

L- (3:59 PM) Virgil, how much are you spending on these sweets?

V- (4:00 PM) Would it help if I said that I get a discount since I purchase chocolates almost weekly?

L- (4:00 PM) VIRGIL

V- (4:01 PM) :)

R- (6:58 PM) Why does all the interesting stuff happen while I’m at work?

V- (6:59 PM) Get wrecked Princey

R- (6:59 PM) :(

V- (7:00 PM) Don’t worry I got you sweets too

R- (7:00 PM) :)

(October 24th)

L- (2:32 PM) VIRGIL!

V- (2:33 PM) Did you get your sweets? Send me a pick! I didn’t get to see the end result

P- (2:33 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of three vases, each of different colors. The light blue vase is filled with tulips made of white chocolate. There are also chocolate-covered straberry and a giant chocolate lollipop with the words “I appreciate you a chocoLOT!” The red vase is filled with milk chocolate roses and another chocolate lollipop that says “Good luck slaying Vampires!” The navy blue vase is the most elaborate (probably just to mess with Logan). It’s filled with dark chocolate tulips AND roses, with a whole jar of crofters nestled into the middle of the bouquet. It’s lollipop reads “Weight and Cost are just #s!”]

P- (2:34 PM) These are ADORABLE, Virgil!

L- (2:34 PM) How much did you spend on this, Virgil?

V- (2:34 PM) Did you not read your lollipop?

V- (2:35 PM) Don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t buy the chocolates if I couldn’t afford them :)

L- (2:35 PM) My digestive system can’t afford them.

V- (2:36 PM) Well I couldn’t give you pre-apology chocolates so I had to give you epic post-apology chocolates.

P- (2:37 PM) Well, I cannot wait to eat these! Seriously, I’ve already eaten half a tulip. And these vases will look so pretty holding ACTUAL flowers! Thank you so much, V! But remember, you don’t have to do this. We don’t need apology sweets!

V- (2:38 PM) I know, but it’s comforting to know that there’s at least ONE way I can interact with you guys beyond texting. I’m sorry that I’m still not comfortable talking face-to-face yet.

P- (2:38 PM) That’s completely fine, Kiddo! Take all the time you need. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

L- (2:39 PM) I agree.Though I still do not see the purpose of excessive spending on our behalf.

R- (2:39 PM) Well I find it extremely thoughtful, storm cloud. I would type an entire ballad of how caring and kind you are, but I must get back to work. I shall speak with you tonight, fair raven.

V- (2:40 PM) Thanks, guys. It means a lot to me.

(October 31st)

L- (10:17 AM) How are you feeling about your “final day of Halloween,” Virgil?

V- (10:18 AM) Incredibly depressed

P- (10:18 AM) Aww. Why’s that, Kiddo?

V- (10:19 AM) You guys know how I travel around with my friends, right?

V- (10:19 AM) Well apparently we have to travel out today. We won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.

R- (10:20 AM) I’m deeply sorry, my precious stormcloud. If I may ask, why do you have to travel tonight?

V- (10:20 AM) My friends like to go to parties out of town, and I go to make sure they don’t get themselves killed.

P- (10:21 AM) I’m sorry you have to miss Halloween, Kiddo. I know how much you were looking forward to it.

V- (10:22 AM) I’m still gonna wear my costume. Just because I can’t celebrate at home doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate at all.

L- (10:22 AM) What costume have you decided to wear?

V- (10:23 AM) [*Photo attachment*]

[Photo is the bottom half of someone’s face. They’re smiling, with black lipstick and fake Vampire teeth. There’s red liquid running down their chin.]

P- (10:23 AM) That looks FANGtastic, Virgil!

L- (10:23 AM) I hope you have an amenable experience at the party, Virgil.

R- (10:24 AM) I agree! You look amazing and I hope you enjoy the party, storm cloud. Do not worry, I will watch The Nightmare Before Christmas in your stead!

V- (10:25 AM) Wow I feel so grateful

R- (10:25 AM) :)

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

#sanders sides fic #useless gays #LAMP fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders

[onwardintolight]

The Opening: Chapter 1

Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue 

Soundtrack

~~~

Warnings for Chapter 1: There's an instance of self-harm towards the end of this chapter. It is mild, non-graphic, and not what some may traditionally think of as self-harm, but it may be triggering for some.

~~~

"Some nights we open up the flood And some nights we are lost And some nights we’re choking on the words But some we light on fire

If you’re out there in the cold I’ll cover you in moonlight If you’re a stranger to your soul I’ll bring you to your birthright I want the storm inside you awoken now I want your warm bright eyes To never look away Don’t you ever look away"

Never Look Away, Vienna Teng

~~~

In the end, she’d rather they both left. She’d rather know that they existed out there, somewhere away in the void, even if that meant away from her: Luke hunting for clues on his quest to become a Jedi, Han plying his illegal trade, paying off his debts and roaming the galaxy freely with Chewie. Maybe they’d be happy. It would at least give her comfort to know that they were out there, somewhere, instead of here on this frozen hellhole, dead in the snow.

Because of me. Leia stopped pacing and closed her eyes, leaning into the familiar knife’s edge, her mantra. My fault. In the end, it all boiled down to her: her mistakes aboard the Tantive IV; the reason her friends got caught up in all this in the first place. Her convincing them to stay (didn’t she coax and plead?). Her having the audacity to open up her heart and let them in, even though she knew they deserved so much more than to be pulled into her black hole of guilt and pain. Yes, she’d told herself she was just trying to retain some of the Rebellion’s greatest assets, and while that was true on some level, Han was absolutely right—this was so much more. She did need them, both of them, in ways she didn’t quite understand and couldn’t fully admit to herself.

The three of them had been through so much together. They were a spectacular team; their exploits for the Rebellion were already legendary. They knew how to read each other so well now that they hardly had to communicate in the heat of battle. And they had saved each others’ lives multiple times, both on and off the battlefield.

Once, as she lay in the medical bay in the aftermath of the Battle of Yavin, she had found herself teetering on the edge of a cliff, looking out over a dark, roiling ocean that seethed with grief and despair. The Alliance leaders had saved her from falling, then, with their offer of a new home and purpose, and she had thrown herself completely into the fight for justice she had believed and worked for her whole life. This had, for the most part, kept the storm-tossed swell at bay. But still, there were times when duty and purpose were no longer enough; when her hope for the galaxy’s redemption was eclipsed by the immensity of its pain. Han and Luke had always been there to ward off the waves, each in his own way.

Now she was faced with losing them both in one cruel, needless stroke, and she felt the floods rising again.

Leia leaned back against the support of an X-wing, arms wrapped around her against the chill. The hangar door was wide open to the swirling snow and the swift-falling night. The temperatures were plunging along with her hope. Artoo and Threepio, those two faithful droids, were at the door, searching the gloom. Chewie stood nearby, now still, now pacing; a mirror image of her own turmoil. Neither of them said a word, as if some moment’s lack of vigil would doom the ones they waited for.

Any moment, Leia thought, any moment now, they’ll come through the door. She seized on that image in an effort to shut out the unwanted ones. Han would probably shake his head to fling off the snow and make some quip about the cold and the danger. Luke would grin, and then he’d come over to reassure her that everything was okay.

If he could be found. If he wasn’t severely injured, or���. Despite her best efforts, the scenarios slipped their way into her mind, a parade of horrific images that she couldn’t shut out: Luke and Han, lying broken at the bottom of a crevasse. The two of them lost, slowly freezing to death in a whiteout. Their bodies torn to pieces by those horrible wampa creatures. Or… could bounty hunters have somehow finally caught up with them? The Empire, even?

Leia fought against the rising waves, tried to will the images out of her head. They had to come back. They had to. They were hardy, resourceful. They’d been through so much already, and they still had so much life to live. This couldn’t be the end. Any moment now, she repeated to herself.

Her sense of dread grew.

There was movement on the hanger floor. Her head snapped up. “Sir, all the patrols are in. Still no sign of—” the deck lieutenant was hushed by a motion from his commanding officer. It didn’t matter; Leia knew what they were saying, anyway.

She stood still, willing herself not to feel, to be strong against the panic beginning to claw at her chest. She vaguely acknowledged Threepio’s approach and his confirmation that Artoo’s sensors hadn’t picked up anything. The officer, Bren Derlin—a good man, who had been on a mission with Luke a few years ago—and the deck lieutenant, a newer recruit, were walking towards her. She knew what was coming, and she was powerless to stop it.

“Your Highness,” Major Derlin said gently, “There’s nothing more that we can do tonight. The shield doors must be closed.”

No. Please. Not now, not yet. Leia felt half-crazed. She wanted to scream, wanted to order them to keep it open all night, regulations be damned, even if it cost them valuable supplies and froze all of the fuel and them, too. She found herself nodding instead.

Duty. The Rebellion had to come before personal interests. She knew that, believed it; she’d had a lifetime of training for it. She’d ordered men and women she cared about into battle, knowing that they might not make it out alive (many hadn’t). She’d been ready to give up her own life, too, time and time again. Anyone involved in the Rebellion knew the risks. But that didn’t make the cost any easier for her to bear, nor did it make this moment feel like anything less than a knife to her chest.

The doors began to creak and groan. Leia stood frozen, watching their slow progress as they shut out the icy night gales and the two people she loved most in the galaxy. As they shuddered closer and closer, she suddenly had a strange feeling that she was watching them close not only on her friends’ lives, but on her own, too. Her future dwindled down to just a sliver, then disappeared with a clang: sudden, inevitable, and horribly final. She stood still for a moment, numb, then turned and walked blindly back to her room.

~~~

The door swished shut behind her, and Leia collapsed onto her cot. She lay there unmoving, staring blankly at the ceiling, the waves buffeting her full-force now. She had shut out Luke and Han, left them to die out in the night’s storms. They might still survive, of course, but, as Threepio had so helpfully indicated, the chances were very slim.

She was going to lose them, too.

In a blink she was back on the bridge of the Death Star, held fast by an iron hand clamped on her shoulder, watching as her planet erupted into flame and dust. She couldn’t breathe. She felt the explosion mounting inside her once more, the panic finally tearing its way free. She was shaking, gasping for air; all things faded but the images of her home’s annihilation and Han and Luke, frozen in the snow. She sat up and swallowed down bile, fighting the waves of nausea, and tried to steady her breathing.

She would not think of them dead. Leia choked back a sob as she put her head in her hands, still shivering despite her efforts at control. She remembered Luke’s face as he came to retrieve her from her cell on the Death Star, all hope and youthful exuberance, the first friendly face she’d seen in what felt like a lifetime. How they had shared some of their grief with each other on the trip back to Yavin IV, taking comfort in each other’s understanding and presence in a way she was still surprised at. While Luke could sometimes be a little naive, impatient, and caught up in his own world, they’d had countless moments like that since—finding strength and solace in their shared loss and common purpose. She felt such a strong connection to him, so much so that it sometimes unnerved her; there was a familiarity there, as if she had known him all her life. She relished the much-needed consistency of his friendship. He was a rock of pure goodness; a beacon of hope in the midst of the swirling uncertainties and the darkness of their time.

Han, on the other hand, had irritated her to the core with his continuous threatened inconstancy. But despite his words, he had stayed with them for the better part of three years, and she had come to rely on his presence in her life, too. Underneath the aura he gave off of devil-may-care rogue, she had discovered a depth of sensitivity and caring that few might suspect (and which she occasionally questioned herself, when he was being particularly difficult). Whenever she or Luke were having a hard time, Han would always be there to help however he could, whether through humor, fun, a comforting hand on the shoulder, encouraging words, or offers for them to dig themselves deep into his treasured stash of Corellian ale (the latter she had mostly refused—aside from the questionable propriety of a princess in wartime getting drunk, she feared losing control, particularly in his presence, however tempting it might be to escape everything for awhile). Swashbuckling scoundrel Han might be, but he had a heart of gold, and he had proven that time and time again with his actions, always coming through when they needed him.

But there was more. Han saw her, the real her. Leia blinked back fresh tears at the thought of it. While others tended to hold her at a distance due to her title, and even Luke put her on a pedestal, Han had dispensed with the formalities from the start and treated her as an equal, a peer. This was shocking, occasionally annoying, and overall incredibly comforting. She’d had very few people in her life outside of her family who had looked beyond the royal title to see just her, the real Leia, and this was like a breath of fresh mountain air. Han saw her, and by now he knew her better than anyone else still alive—although Luke was a close second.

Then came the undercover mission to Ord Mantell, and everything had changed. She still remembered how close Han had been that night at the resort in the mountains—had it only been a few weeks ago? His eyes were soft and open as they talked over dinner, and afterwards, on the veranda, his arm was around her waist, and his other hand was reaching up to brush a strand of her hair aside, slipping around the back of her neck, drawing her closer, closer—then came the commotion, and the sudden agony in her arm; the bounty hunter had missed Han and shot her instead. They had escaped (barely), and her arm had since healed, but that was the turning point. Han’s walls had come up again (she supposed hers had too—it wasn’t like they needed much prodding), and he had been insufferable ever since. She felt like he was playing some sort of game. There were times when he softened again, just for a moment, and a version of the man she had come to rely on (love) before would show himself, but those times were growing less and less frequent. More often he’d make some inappropriate comment or try another one of his ridiculous attempts at flirting, only to lash out at her the next moment. Their fights had become epic; she knew they were the gossip of everyone on base, and yet he set her off in ways she couldn’t seem to control. She was losing him; she was sure of it—he had always talked of leaving, had even once followed through for a short time, but now it looked as if he were really going to leave for good.

She thought about their last fight, just that afternoon, in the south passage. He had abruptly told her goodbye and then stormed off, and she had followed, heart sinking, repeating her same old pleas for him to stay. He wanted more from her than that, though, more she wasn’t sure she had left to give, especially if he was eventually just going to turn around and leave. The last thing she had said to him was “I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee,” and that was a lie, and oh how she wished she could have left him with something else, something that might keep him here. But no, she was too broken, and too aware of it. She was a center from which suffering radiated outward. People died because of her, and really, she was already dead, too. She had no future beyond the Rebellion. Why would she—how could she—possibly convince anyone to stay for her own sake?

The Rebellion. Her drive for justice had kept her going, kept the ocean of grief at bay, kept the fissures of despair from opening up and swallowing her whole. She still believed in the cause of the Rebellion as much as ever, was just as committed to the fight, but time had chipped away at the floodgates and revealed the fault lines, and lately they had been harder and harder to control.

Now the fissures cracked wide open, and the dark ocean was frothing at her feet, and there was Alderaan again, engulfed in flame, and she was being tortured, writhing on the floor of her cell, and Han and Luke were pale and stiff, eyes glazed over and frosted, and her breath was coming ragged again, and there wasn’t any other way out, and what hope did they really have anyway? Everything inside her was screaming, and she was furious at the galaxy, furious at the Empire, furious at the gods (if they ever existed), furious at the Force, furious at herself.

Turning towards the wall beside her, she reached out and touched it, acknowledging its smooth, icy contours. Then she pounded her fist into it, hard. She winced with pain, but she punched it again, first one fist, then the other, until her knuckles were red and bruised and she fell back onto her bed, spent. After a breath, she rolled back over to the frozen surface and pressed the backs of her hands into it, letting the ice send its sharp tendrils of pain into her skin; pain which soon turned to comforting numbness. She breathed in and out slowly, trying to regain control. The familiar locks clicked back into place in her chest, taming the panic, stowing away her anger and grief. She hid her dreaded visions of Han and Luke beside the image of Alderaan’s demise and tucked them back into a far corner of her mind, where they’d be harder to reach again for the present. Wiping her face clean of tears, she sat up slowly and grabbed her datapad. She felt emptied out. There was nothing left to feel now, and there was nothing left to do but work, and wait, in the darkness.

#star wars #han x leia #hanleia #sw fic #sw fanfic #star wars fanfic #leia organa #the opening #my fanfic #my writing

[xpeachesncream]

Hey! I like yoir style of writing. Just read day dream 1 and loved it.

I wanted to ask if there's a schedule for the release of the chapters? And how many will be there?

Thanks in advance!

hi hi ☺️ awe glad to hear you loved it! ♥️ thank you! as of right now, updates for daydream will be weekly - days / times may vary but i’ll try and post earlier in the week than later. i’m not sure how many chapters yet 😭 i think it will be quite lengthy though, maybe similar to the lowkey series (17 chapters)? maybe a little more? 😬

take care bb! be safe ✨

#asks #xpeachesncream #anon 💌 #daydream series

[lokilickedme]

Writing Update, 4/17/20

Trying to get back into the groove here - recovery’s been rougher than I expected but at least part of my brain feels like it might be coming back online, so we’ll see how this goes.  I haven’t done an update post in a long time, so I made myself a new header for it on the premise that sparkly new thing = motivation.  I’m sure that’s not true but it’s worth a try :)

Worked on The Department chapter 35 tonight, which is currently at around 3800 words and will be wrapping up in about another 300.  Might be ready to post on Sunday and settle back into its designated timeslot.  Updates on that one may slip to bi-weekly until it’s finished, or until I finish one of the books I’m working on and can go back to devoting more time to it.  Chief and Greta just made an appointment for the minute Ant leaves town, but first Andy’s gotta survive one more night without being assassinated by his own guardian.

Mapped out the next pairing for Tales From Quarantine.  It’s probably going to be Chem!Tom and Anja :)  Tom is being a bit macabre, and we all know how weirdness makes him horny.

TOM:  Someone will have to find our corpses, eventually.  Unless the whole world goes down, then I guess it'll be aliens.

ANJA:  What?!?

TOM:   Skeletons everywhere, just all laying in bed, watching TV or fucking, waiting for the world to end while it slips quietly into that good night.

ANJA:  WHAT?!?!

I have chunks of Hammer Of The Gods chapters 28 and 29 put together, as well as a good part of the final chapter and some of the epilogue.  Chapter 28 could go up in the next couple of weeks.  Tate’s got Jake’s tuition money and a fierce determination to make sure his selflessness won’t be for nothing.

Jack Montague will be delayed for a little while.  This one takes a really specific mindset to write and I’m just not up to it lately and I refuse to halfass this story, it means too much to me.  Loki and Adam are still sorting wtf is keeping them flying through the portals every five minutes, but it’s pretty likely that Loki’s already figured it out.

ADAM:  You are possibly the dumbest motherfucker I’ve ever had the sorry misfortune to be acquainted with...but it’s been something of a cockassed honor to to die repeatedly with you.

LOKI:  Yeah, I guess now wouldn’t be a good time to tell you your daughter is an interdimensional anomaly that’s going to destroy the gods and the gods in question plan to destroy her first and they’ve sent me to do the job...would it?

UPCOMING BOOKS:

The second book in the Strada Trilogy is about half finished, so...not too terribly long till this one goes out.  Baltho is still an uncontrollable nutcase and oh yeah, his powers are returning...Keene is still cranky and put out about the whole situation and might be catching feels, if he believed in that sort of thing...the other Strada are crossing over and the Messenger has just arrived with a whole bunch of sticky notes to remind him what he’s supposed to tell everybody, but nobody seems willing to follow that whole “don’t shoot the messenger” thing long enough for him to do his job.  The end of the world doesn’t come from a virus, folks...it comes from big guys with wings and really bad attitudes.

Another second book - part 2 of The Carmichael Addendum - is outlined and maybe a quarter written.  The war they were expecting in book one?  Yeah, it came.  Except Kaine is nowhere to be found and Aiden’s name is on the dead list and a rogue slayer is consecrating kills - which is a big no no - and Clarissa’s gotta find the guy before Fitz and his Agents do.  She’s got a pretty good idea who it is though...because sometimes the dead don’t stay dead, and a certain archaeology dropout might be harder to kill than everyone expected.

Eidos and The Fifth King are both coming along nicely.  These will be housed together in one book.  Sexy cyberpunk sci-fi.

Wicklow House is chugging along, I’ve got the entire thing sorted and it’s maybe a quarter written.  It’s ended up being the first of a series.  Huh, imagine that.  Gothic horror romance/mystery.

Chemical Volume Three is nearly finished, this one will go to publishing within a month I think.  I rewrote bits of a few of the Prehistories and polished them up some, and did the same with Penumbraluna.

The McClary Chronicles book four is about half written.  It’ll go out at some point this year, fingers crossed.

The King’s Heart and The Wolf King are waiting their turn - they’ll be partly rewritten and then published, I haven’t decided if they’ll be together or in separate books yet.

Whisper is almost finished being rewritten, then it’ll be released as a novella.

That’s where everything is at the moment.  I’ll try to get back into posting update notices a couple times a week like I used to do.

#writing stuff

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Day Two

Hi folks! Here is a little chapter! I was going to post twice a week, afraid this may not be timely because the stay at home orders might end, but I think I’ll stop worrying about that.....and post weekly! So here is day two of Harry and Elise at home! Thanks to @dirtystyles for the beta and the amazing live from your bed call!

"Can I get you a cup of tea?" 

She'd wandered into his living area at a time that felt unbearably early, she was drowsy. It had made her jump a bit, his voice. She was surprised she felt tired. She may have woke up a bit early, but they had turned in really early too. There was only so much you could say to a total stranger who had inadvertently kidnapped you, and was also the subject of your daydreams at one point in your life. They'd had a bit of an awkward first night, maybe wordless was a better word.

She'd wanted to kick herself for agreeing to quarantine with him so easily. Especially when they sat across from each other at his kitchen table in fallow silence. She was hoping today they could both find their voices, or these 14 days were going to be miserable.

His voice was like a desert backroad, this morning, graveled and with ruts like a washboard. It wasn't helping her speak with ease. She'd heard his morning voice before, had screamed over it at 17, in secret because the fixation had fallen out fo fashion for her age. Elise had clearly forgotten how devastating it was.

"Um," great now her voice was funny too. It wasn't all deep and sexy though, it was an embarrassing high pitch, if he had a dog it was about to come running. She didn't think he had a dog. "I don't really like tea, no offense." She squealed. Her roommate had been visibly offended, but too polite to say it when she'd turned down her brew.

He burst into a laugh at that, "your face! It's not like you insulted my cooking or looks or something. It's ok to not like tea!"

"You sure about that, the girl I live with may beg to differ. When I shared the same sentiment with her she looked at me like I was wearing an American flag cape and was about to douse myself in ketchup and fire a gun in the living room." She had to ask, as he was very un English about this, in her limited experience.

"That's an image!" He ducked his chin, bit his lip to stop speaking.

"What?" She asked.

"Just the cape?" His cheeks warmed, but not like hers. They were flaming. "Anyway, I prefer coffee, actually."

"Oh!" She opened her mouth in faux shock. "I'm horrified! You are a bad Brit!" She laughed with him a little.

"The worst! Just ask my friends. I'm even losing my accent."

"Sounds pretty strong to me." She shrugged. "I pick up accents easy. Maybe you do too."

"I do, it will be interesting to hear what we both sound like once we can rejoin the world." He turned around then and started rummaging in the cupboards.

"Can I get the key to your flat? And do you want hot coffee or iced? Do you have to designate when coffee is hot? That's default right? I basically live on iced coffee, it keeps me going and such. Think it started when I was on my last tour, but you know, we never really slept on tours with the band either, like."

"Harry, Harry! Harry! Stop!" He was firing questions at a concerning pace. She thought he talked slow.

"What? Have you gone off coffee? I was hoping we'd keep that in common." That was interesting, but she didn't let it distract her.

"No, no, that's not it. Why do you need my house keys?" She was sure he had been rambling about semi important things, but really, she was a bit lost on that part.

"Oh, so I can leave them for my assistant to go get you the necessary articles for the next couple of weeks. She can drop them on the doorstep. That way we need not expose her and vice versa." He said it matter of factly.

Elise was momentarily distracted by the French press he was seeing to now. She could taste the strong bitter flavor already and she was already imagining how his forearm would flex while he applied firm steady pressure to the top.

"Yeah, ok, but, I probably should have asked this before I agreed to stay the night last evening, but, why are we holed up here together? I could just as easily have gone home. Furthermore-"

"Oooh, furthermore, you an English major or summat?" He was smirking a little and the expression was so familiar and yet devastating she nearly lost both threads of conversations they were weaving.

"No, international relations and antiquities."

"That sounds...niche."

"It is. It's also extremely pertinent to current British politics. But we can talk more about that later-"

"Gonna hold you to that." He nodded for her to go on.

"You are very good at evading questions."

"I know." He looked like he'd just signaled dawn, cock of the walk.

"Good skill in your line of work?" She imagined necessary.

"It's useful. I've been trying to do it less lately."

"Can you do it less now?" She gave him her play school eyes, from when she had the 3 year olds at her first college jobs. She'd been in early childhood education. She switched soon after. But the eyes were effective, apparently, Harry fessed right up.

"Listen, I feel extremely guilty. I knew, dammit, I knew I should have just ordered delivery, or sent someone else to pick up the things that I wanted, but, well." He sighed. "I really value my independence and a sense of normality, little things like going to pick my own avocados matter to me."

"Did you get avocados?" She was hungry.

"Yeah. Did."

"Can you make avocado toast and we can finish this conversation over that?" Her stomach growled and the coffee smell started to really permeate the air. They were connected, coffee and her appetite. That smell meant yum to her. She lived for breakfast.

He grinned. "Sure. Coffee is about done. Wanna start there."

"Yes, please." He poured her a cup and placed it at her elbow.

"How do you take it?" He stopped and screwed his mouth to one side. "Though I should explain I only have some oat milk and if there is any proper cream, it might have gone off."

"Oat Milk is fine. I've been trying to eat less dairy."

"Yeah me too, bad for my voice."

"Your voice seems so much better though." She exclaimed while fixing her coffee and looked up with her lip between her teeth and her tail between her legs. That and recognizing him plus the squeak and her readiness to move on it, must expose her as a fan girl, former at least.

"Hmmm." Was all he said, knowingly. Wait, he was supposed to be on the hot spot.

"So you broke quarantine for avocados, and then sneezed on me."

He blushed at least then, so he had a little shame.

"Yes, yep, I did do that."

"So, why didn't I just go home? Shelter in my own place, get my own things?"

"Ok, I'm about to sound like a pompous arsehole. Promise to forget it?"

She nodded.

"I, well, you look like you're my age, a little younger proabably, a student. And London is expensive. I assumed you have roommates?"

She pursed her lips but nodded for him to continue.

"Well, I just wanted to mitigate my guilt. And also." He stopped then and played with his lip before realizing he wasn't supposed to and washed his hands. Before pulling the toast out and mushing avocado like he'd worked at a sub shop, not a bakery.

"Also," Eise prompted, when he turned back and topped her toast with an egg.

"I just.....this way I can pay for everything. Including if you get sick. Cuz it's my fault, I just had to pick my own produce." He flapped his arms uselessly. And she just let it go. She could have put up a fight. About him whisking her away, or getting her things, or going home, or even thinking she wouldn't chip in for the food she'd eat. But instead she gave him her keys, and filled her belly with the food he made, and laughed at his jokes. It wasn't a crazy thing, or so horrible to have company while they were both stuck inside. And there were her roommates to consider. London was expensive, and he was negligent.

Plus, he was lovely and even more lovely than she had built him up in her mind to be, years ago. There were lots of sentiments she agreed with upon listening to them.

Mostly, she knew a bit about making decisions out of guilt. She could spare him this easily. She had nothing to lose, and at worst, wonderful company to gain.

#harry styles #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles ou #quarantine fic #day two

[supernovaken]

Why I don’t like Sanji - One Piece Discussion

Sanji used to be one of my favourite characters up there with the other two-thirds of the monster trio, mostly because of his calm attitude, debonair persona and strategic thinking. A lot of people enjoy the swagger he brings to the Straw-Hat crew’s dynamic, and the way his personality compares and contrasts with everyone's favourite swordsman Roronoa Zoro.

Don’t get me wrong, this post isn’t a Sanji bash, and it certainly isn’t the Sanji vs Zoro toxic rant that we have in the fan base, so if that’s what you came here looking for it may be best to click away now. Hopefully I still get the click bait credit hahahaha [laughs in evil].

All I'm trying to do here is delve into Sanji as a character; from his introduction into the storyline through to his current state of characterisation, along with how my impression of Sanji has changed over the course of the so far 1000 One Piece chapters GOda has blessed the world with.

I work on the rule that once a chapter is animated it is no longer considered spoiler territory and my main focus will be on the Whole Cake Island Arc and the character nuances presented leading up to that. I’ll be avoiding discussing anything happening in Wano mainly due to the fact that I haven’t seen much in terms of new characterisation for Sanji - so before anyone jumps down the comments with the argument that it all makes sense during Wano, i’d say just give that one a miss.

Anyone who isn’t caught up with the anime, here’s your fair warning…

Let me tell you Why I Don’t Like Sanji

Throughout the story Sanji has always been the more aloof, somewhat guarded character in the crew - at least on a surface level. His introduction was as the charming pirate restaurant chef that had a way with words and a ferocity when it came to his food. The Baratie Arc is where we were introduced to the rough and tumble fighting chef and most importantly where we were shown his passion; for women, family, life and of course food. Skip forward an odd 800 chapters and although we are shown moments that may have seemed slightly off putting for the character (don’t even get me started)... where I really lost touch with Sanji was during the Whole Cake Island Arc (WCI).

Caveat

Now I've had a few back and forths over this online so I want to make a few things clear from the offset. The issues that I will be delving into are all from a character and characterization point of view.

I have no issues with the plot of WCI but I did feel that Sanji wasn’t being himself (or at least the version of Sanji as a character that I along with many other fans had gotten to know up til this point).

I’ll be breaking down my understanding of the plot as best I can going off all the information we have on it and I'll be evidencing what I say with Manga panels to reduce the amount of dispute I'm likely to get from this.

Saying that, I will ask that as you run through this you allow a little room for perspective. I will be commenting on Sanji and the decisions he made at the point in time that he was making them, this means that we’ll need to come from a perspective of understanding all the information that was available to Sanji at the time, not just what the audience knew or what other characters were planning or doing. In order to comment on Sanji's behaviour we have to go off what he knows in the moments he takes action.

Whole Cake Island

Before I go into Sanji's character throughout the story here's a quick synopsis of everything that happens in the WCI

After arriving at Zou and dealing with a few Beast Pirate stragglers, Sanji was essentially taken hostage; physically through the Power of Bege’s Castle-Castle Fruit, then later with the use of the exploding cuffs, and taken hostage emotionally through the threat made on Zeffs life and the immediate threat Bege posed on the members of the Straw-Hat crew that were there at the time.

The plan was to use Sanji in a political wedding to unite the Charlotte Family/Big Mom Pirates with the Vinsmoke Family. Being a political wedding there were motivations on boths sides to attain the power offered by the other; and thanks to an underlying conspiracy plot led by Big Mom, the plan was to kill Sanji along with the Vinsmoke family and take their technology.

Fortunately the plan was ruined by non-other than our very own Straw-Hat Luffy and his pals (after an initial skirmish with Sanji's Black leg), and Sanji returned to the crew as they escaped a rampaging Big Mom.

My issues with Sanji that crept up over the course of the arc:-

Sanji left the crew (albeit to protect Zeff but more on this later)

Sanji attacked his Captain

The timing for when Sanji returned to the crew (AFTER he discovered pudding was gonna betray him)

For that third point I'd like to put heavy emphasis on ‘timing’. I don’t have any issue with the fact that he returned, I love Sanji as a member of the Straw-Hat Pirates and it’s clear the dynamic is not the same without him. I also don’t have an issue with how he returned to the crew as the way he broke down in front of Luffy was one of the most heart-string pulling, tear-jerking scenes of WCI (although I will be getting into his apology/ lack of one in that scene). But the timing of his decision to return to the crew really irritated me as a long time fan of the character, all I could ask was, after everything that’s happened, why now?

Leaving the Crew

Pre timeskip the story addresses a lot of themes surrounding the topic of what it meant to be a Straw-Hat pirate. All the way back in East blue where the story of the Straw-Hat crew was born we were given storylines around the value of friendship (NAKAMA!!), the important roles each member had, their individual struggles against adversity up to the point Luffy came to save their spirits and ignite their dreams. And we had all that both for Sanji and with Sanji as he experienced the emotional battles every member of the crew faced when they came into contact with their soon to be Captain, (including Usopp's turmoil at Water 7).

He knew what it meant for each member to join Luffy and he knew what it meant to leave the crew. He experienced first hand with Nami, Luffy didn’t believe Nami would steal from them and kill Usopp even though she had only been with him for a short time. And he waited for her response to challenge Arlong.

When Usopp clashed with Luffy at Water 7, Sanji was there knowing what it meant for a crewmate to clash with his captain and the weight of leaving the crew. He lashed out at Luffy when he was about to say something reckless,

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji lashes out at Luffy's reckless speaking, Chapter 331 page 15]

and after showing he understood Usopp's feelings of inadequacy within the crew he made it clear that everyone has something they can do best when supporting Luffy and the crew. Even still he later agreed with Zoro's reasoning in the epic speech given to Luffy about the importance of respecting your Captain as these are not Pirate games they are playing.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji agrees with Zoro, Chapter 438 page 5]

When Robin left the crew Sanji saw how Luffy responded and without hesitating he was there to challenge an entity as great as the World Government (WG) just to bring her back. He wasn’t even patient enough to wait for the crew on the Sea Train because as Luffy said to Zoro, would any of them have been able to sit back and wait.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji impatient to challenge the World Government, Chapter 367 page 12]

These moments, for me, shaped a character trait in Sanji showing how much he values his crewmates but also shows how relentless both he and Luffy are when it comes to getting someone back. So I couldn’t reconcile this character that we’ve been shown across the story with the one in Zou who thinks it's ok to leave the crew on a false promise to return and think no one in the crew would challenge that decision. A lot of people say that he was planning to come back but even in the moment it was clear to the crew that Sanji was lying.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji’s lie, Chapter 813 page 17]

Nico Robin

I want to compare Sanji’s plan to leave and save the crew against Robin's plan during the Water 7 arc. My aim is to show how similar their reasoning is but why the decision only makes sense from Robin's perspective as a character at the time of her decision and not for Sanji during WCI.

When Robin left the crew it really was to protect a group of people she only just became acquainted with so understandably would not want them facing a power as huge as the World Government or alternatively resenting her for staying with the crew as she’s experienced in the past. Her sacrifice was to protect a crew of 6 people from the full power of the World Government. She had seen their power destroy her home ISLAND in the past so it is very understandable to assume the crew wouldn’t have a chance in hell of surviving an attack.

Robin didn’t know the capability of the Straw-Hats and their willingness to challenge a huge organisation like the World Government. What she did know was the power of the WG and that a normal crew would not survive the immediate threat of a Buster Call along with the power of the CP9 at Water 7.

Robin's wish was for them to be able to leave Water 7 safely which is why Lucci spared them during their battle in Icebergs mansion. Some fans question if the WG would have actioned a Buster Call on Water 7 because without it there was still an option to escape, plus the CP9 were on the island undercover. Why would the government destroy it? Why wouldn’t Robin just run from Water 7 and let the Straw-Hats escape?.

Enies Lobby is a much more important location to the WG than Water 7 due to its position in the world as the Judiciary island. It’s a symbol of the World Governments power. CP-9 were in Ohara when a buster call was actioned which goes to show the lack of hesitation the government had during these attacks, even when its own personnel are on the Island. Also CP-9 as well as a number of government officials, and their families that lived on the island, were on Enies Lobby at the time and in both cases they still attacked without hesitation, they still attacked the island indiscriminately. They had no reason not to attack Water 7 if a buster call was issued, so I don’t see how calling one on Water 7 would have been impossible.

At that time Robin was already aware of that scary power and it had haunted her her entire life, so if it were called on Water 7 assuming the Straw-Hats didn’t chase her (she wouldn’t have accounted for this at the time) it makes sense for her to want to save them from it. Let’s not forget that they really only escaped the Buster Call thanks to a massive Deux Ex Machina. I can suspend disbelief long enough to say a worn down ship was able to traverse ‘Aqua Laguna storm level waves’ and reach another island with no crew or navigator thanks to the power of friendship but damn, lets just call it what it is, Shonen Magic.

CP-9 weren’t on Water 7 to get Robin, they were there on an undercover mission to get the Pluton blueprints from Iceberg, so I’m guessing rather than snatching her and potentially blowing their cover too soon, they met with her to explain the threat they could be to the Straw-Hats and pressure her into coming with them peacefully which was an added benefit of their mission. A well calculated move from Lucci. Also remember that they had recently just lost to Aokiji, who was the shadow behind the threat since a buster call can only be issued on his authority as an Admiral (he gave permission to Spandam after encountering the Straw-Hats). In the end they had to escalate the plan and force Iceburg to give them the blueprints rather than wait for him to hand it over to an apprentice, they assumed if they threatened his life he would hand it over sooner to Paulie, then in the middle of their attack deduced that he had already handed it to Franky years beforehand. (Off topic but basically they had a plan and Robin landing on Water 7 was just a perk they took advantage of).

The bond she got with Luffy and the crew came from having nowhere else to go after Luffy saved her from killing herself at Alabasta, then was reinforced when she realised her dreams weren’t dead in Skypiea with the revelation that the true history of the void century does exist and she only needs to follow the log to the end of the grand line to find it. Even though it was a small timeframe she was able to build that bond with them, but even still it was clear that not enough had happened for her to ever think the Straw-Hats were any match for the WG.

In-world no one would believe that, this is why the Straw-Hats are the only pirates to ever attack Enies Lobby. Even Yonko crews don’t attack the WG without reason or backup of more than a 6 person crew. Even though they survived in the end, at the time it was a deal to protect the crew at the cost of her life so it made sense.

We can see afterwards that she’s grown out of not believing in them as when they got to Zou, Neko and Duke said she’d be a target for being able to read the Poneglyphs - to which she replied it’ll be fine because she had her crew to protect her.

Her deal made all the sense in the world.

Sanji on the other hand benefitted from a much longer, much deeper experience with Luffy and the crew by the time it came to his ‘ultimate sacrifice’. He was there at Water 7 when the entire crew rejected Robin's reasoning (even Usopp) for leaving the crew. He chased her onto the Government filled Train with no guarantees, no background and no hesitation with the greatest takeaway from that arc being to believe in Luffy. That belief in the captain wasn't there when it came to facing off against a member of the Yonko and protecting his extended family - a huge character step back I think.

Sanji's downfall here was not believing in his crew even after experiencing the other side of things with Robin. Why wouldn’t Luffy come for him? He’s never experienced Big Moms power (not that he needed to) in the same way Robin was traumatised by the WG’s display of power in her childhood. He knows enough about his captain to know Luffy would still challenge Big Mom as Luffy had already said he was planning to challenge each member of the Yonko. He had already challenged Big Mom on Fishman Island and the plan to challenge Kaido was already in motion. I understand challenging both at the same time might make him think it’s a bit much, but I disagree with him not bringing the issue to his crew considering all they had been through. It shows the biggest problem of Sanji not believing in Luffy and the crew.

His Faith Wavered

Protecting Zeff

At the time Sanji made the decision to leave the crew he thought Zeff was in danger, a threat delivered by Big Mom. He also believes Big Mom herself would be an added threat too difficult for the Straw-Hats at this time.

I don’t want us to get bogged down in the details of Big Moms plan. I very much agree with the point that she truly didn’t care about Zeff at the Baratie, she only threatened Zeff to get Sanji to the wedding (A Big Mom Tea Party Invitation Standard) in order to lay the trap for Germa.

But character moments all come from the decisions they make based on the information they have at the time. At the time Sanji made the decision to leave the crew, the threat on Zeff was real enough to him so in Sanji’s mind if he ran from the wedding or challenged Bege and Big Mom she probably would have actioned the threat. To Sanji, his only option here was to go along with the wedding.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Vito informing Sanji about the threat on Zeff, Chapter 813 page 9]

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Baron Tamago of the Big Mom pirates giving Judge the leverage they have over Sanji, Chapter 839 page 12]

Battling Luffy

Sanji understood that by getting married he’d automatically force the Straw-Hats into being subordinates of the Big Mom crew. Initially he thought saying he’d handle it himself would be enough to stop Luffy from coming and by officially leaving the crew he’d absolve them from a fate as underlings similar to the portrayal of Bege at the time. (Going back to my initial point I think this reasoning doesn’t make sense as we all know Luffy's character). This is why after Luffy came after him he tried to make it clearer that he'd left the crew and Sanji did this by fighting Luffy and telling him to leave.

When he battled Luffy (who didn’t fight back) it wasn’t over a huge disagreement and insecurity in his own strength like Usopp's battle with Luffy. In fact if we compare this to Usopp's moment when both he and Luffy got heated and ended in a similar battle of pride/ clashing views I see no reason why Sanjis isn’t as bad.

The Luffy vs Sanji clash came about due to a lack of understanding which came about because Sanji had not been clear in explaining his position and why he made this choice to leave the crew, instead he kicked sand in the face of his crew and captain.

I believe he went too far here, although he deep down had good intentions, I see it as a clear showing disrespect. It was all an act with a brave face from Sanji's point of view and Luffy could tell straight away.

Comparatively, Usopp also put on a brave face with an understandable battle for him to establish his place as a pirate, but it was the challenge of Luffy’s authority in itself that was a showing of disrespect to the captain.

In essence it was a clash of pride where Sanji challenged his captain’s abilities, with the belief that his method of dealing with the issue was right and Luffy’s was wrong.

His Respect Wavered.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji vs Luffy, Chapter 843 page 19]

Returning to the Crew

Redemption is a huge part of character development and usually always comes from a lie the character has told to themselves they battle to make a reality. Any story worth its ink will give us characters with strong traits and equally strong flaws that they later resolve within themselves and grow from.

Sanji had a lot of character development during the WCI arc including accepting his past/background, dealing with the trauma caused by his father, his siblings and the death of his mother, and probably quite importantly, believing in himself, his crew and his captain. But there was one character moment that I feel was flawed enough to reduce the impact of his redemption moment and therefore reduce his standing as a character for me… His reconciliation with Luffy.

During the Arlong Park arc Nami lied about her feelings toward the crew and her village. Her redemption came in the form of saving Usopp from death at the hands of Arlong by stabbing through her hand and facilitating his escape, this showed how much she cared about the crew. And her lie towards the villagers was resolved when her backstory was established and showed her intentions to protect them, the redemption here came the moment she asked Luffy for help and also established her belief in her new Captain.

At Enies Lobby Robin lied about her desire to die so as to not live in a world where no one cares for her and see her as a burden. Her redemption came when she acknowledged she does have a place in the world and had finally found people who care about her. She immediately screamed from the top of her lungs that she wanted to live and in doing so established her new found belief in her crew and Captain.

The segmented parts of Water 7 displayed Usopp's lie about being too weak to be part of a crew of ‘monsters’ along with his fear of being discarded due to his lack of belief in his own abilities and the strength of his friendship/place in the crew. His redemption came when he acknowledged that everyone has something they can do that makes them strong even if it's not physically, and his unyielding resolve to save his crew mates when he tagged along for the mission to rescue Robin. Notice that Usopp's flaws never included losing faith in Luffy, his flaw was always pride and the redemption note for his pride was different to Nami and Robins. Usopp had to apologise, direct and on his knees before he could be fully redeemed as a character.

Sanji's storyline in WCI came with a double whammy. Not only did he show a lack of faith in his captain, he also allowed his pride get in the way of showing respect to his captain. A pirate no go area.

Before overhearing Pudding he was resolved to getting married and living his life with her, but when he found out it was a lie why did this change his resolve of protecting the crew and Zeff. I’d say all other factors *at this point* are exactly the same for Sanji and he had already accepted his death (or a version of it through his freedom and his cooking being taken away).

First, technically Zeff was still in danger as far as he knew. ReijI didn’t say Zeff was safe, she asked him to escape, let Germa die and figure it out [what to do about Zeff] afterwards, her reasoning was Big Mom had no interest in Zeff as long as she got Germa, but Sanji wanted to save both. So in Sanji's mind Zeff is still in danger, but now he has an added problem as he wants to save Germa.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Reiju explains the threat on Zeff still exist unless Big Mom gets Germa, Chapter 852 page 16]

Secondly the crew still can’t challenge Big Mom head on. If he had continued with his plan to go through with the wedding, whether they got married or he was killed, his plan still would have worked. Zeff and the Straw-Hats would be safe. The same way Robin would have died at Enies Lobby and Nami would have given her freedom to forever be part of Arlong's crew. At the cost of Sanji’s life his plan would have worked and made sense.

So should I now take this to mean that he really wasn’t resolved to dying for his ideals. (I’m not saying he should have, the entire point of Luffy’s character is a challenge to this statement, believe in Luffy and he’ll fix it)

But for some reason, the moment he discovers the wedding is a sham and Germa is doomed he decides out of desperation that now is the time to return to the crew and ask Luffy for help. It’s not only hypocritical but it’s shameful and damaged Sanji as a character for me.

During his reconciliation with Luffy I’m sure Sanji acknowledges these points when discussing why he can’t go back but he isn’t held accountable for it.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji 3 reasons Chapter 856 page 12]

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji 3 reasons Chapter 856 page 13]

Sanji’s redemption, like Nami and Robin, included a moment where he had to re-establish his belief in Luffy and the rest of the crew. But I argue that his cause for losing faith in Luffy was, in the first place, unwarranted and a step backwards for the character.

And unlike Usopps, his redemption did not include a moment of humility where he would need to swallow his pride and apologise to Luffy for putting his own ideals before his captains.

I know in the end everything worked out but at the time Sanji’s actions didn’t make sense for the character I had come to know throughout the story and there was not enough impact in his redeeming moment to allow me to see the character as he once was. Now he’s just that badass monster fighter on the crew and he’ll forever be removed from my list of favourite Straw-Hats. Black Leg Sanji.

#one piece #vinsmoke sanji #nico robin #monkey d luffy #pirate hunter zoro #big mom #charlotte linlin

[leah-halliwell92]

Too Much Love Can Kill You

Summary: Soul marks are found through touch and song, one must sing to find their half and touch completes their connection. To reject your mark is to sentence them to death. You have been on tour with Brian, Roger and Rufus for a year and have known them for nearly four. What happens you find out along the way that you are the mark of one Brian May?

Previously:

The light atmosphere seemed to die as soon as an all too familiar voice said, “(Y/N)? Little (First Name) (Last Name) is that you? My God when I heard that you were in town I had to come see for myself.”

You all turn to see Jake Parker standing there with a bouquet of flowers and charming smile.

Prologue – Chapter 1– Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 –Chapter 6 – Chapter 7 – Chapter 8 – Chapter 9 – Chapter 10 – Chapter 11– Chapter 12 – Chapter 13 – Chapter 14 – Chapter 15 – Chapter 16

Chapter 17

“Jake,” you said in shock as the man in question wrapped he in a hug flowers and all.

You heard your mother gasp and say a quiet, “Excuse me.”

It wasn't until you heard a distinct sound of hitting that you realized where she’d gone to.

“What are you doing here?” You asked still in shock as he let you go.

“Your dad shot my old man a call yesterday saying you were in town and wanted to see you,” he said with a wide smile.

“You’ve seen me,” you said stepping backward till you were slightly behind Brian. 

Jake looked from you to Brian before noticing the pack of wolves you call your family behind you and Brian who were spread out harmlessly. Some like Adam, Rufus and Sarina were hiding their protective streak behind a kind façade. Others, namely Roger, did not bother hiding what he really felt of Jake while Brain remained neutral. 

You were still shocked that Jake was even there, let alone what he had in his hands aside from the bouquet of wild flowers. 

“How is Old Jake?” Your mother said as she walked to the front of the group and slighlty front of you.

“Pops is just fine,” he said with a shrug, “Working as per usual.”

Your mother smiled courteously with a small nod before saying, “I’m sorry this visit couldn’t have happened with better timing Jake. I think the band is headed to their rehearsals right about now.”

You held onto Brian’s fingers tightly hoping the diversion worked. 

Rufus and Adam waited on bated breath to see what would be the outcome. Not to mention they had an ear and eye on your father to make sure he didn’t do or say something that might sabotage this new escape plan.

Jake looked disappointed at that and leaned to the side to get a better look at you.

“(Y/N), would it be ok if we just talked?” he asked with a hopeful grin.

Brian gave you a reassuring squeeze.

“Sure,” you said with a small smile before turning to Brian, “I’ll be there as soon as I can...promise.”

Brian nodded and made his way to the main lobby followed by Sarina who was pushing Roger in the same direction and the boys who corralled your father and led him out.

You nodded to the lounge and focused on keeping your breathing even as you both made your way to a corner booth away from prying eyes. You hoped this would reconnect you with your best friend...you also hoped he wasn’t there to woo you away from Brian. Or attempt to anyway.

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If you wanna be tagged shoot me an ask!!! Thanks for reading don’t forget to like and reblog!!!! Feedback is always appreciated!!

P.S Sorry for the hiatus (And super short post)!!! School amped up and slumped me. I’m trying to set in a habit to post at least weekly so there’s hope that there’ll be a chapter if not on Friday’s then the weekend. Thanks all for taking the time to read!!

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Tag List: @pansexualqueendarling, @queenattheopera, @brianandthemays, @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, @ramibaby, @captain--americanna, @awkwardangelshezza, @avengerraven1023, @danamaleksworld, @pastywhiteperson, , @i-was-born-like-this, @redspecialstardust​, @reedusteinrambles​, @readinghorn​, @subbysharkbabe​, @capan-devereaux​, @bowieandqueen11​, @bellamy1998​, @reedusteinrambles​, @simply-sams-things​, @sincerelygmg, @bleu-jean-baby, @brian-mayonnaise​, @0hour9am​, @toomuchtellyneck​, @kimanne723​, @plutoneu​​, @kyleetheeditor​, @glamrockmonarch​, @rawyld​, @queensdivas​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @phoenixqueen07, @ohmybribri​, @jennyggggrrr​, @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​, @painkiller80​, @stuckyprotectionsquad​

#brian may #roger taylor #sarina taylor #rufus taylor #adam lambert #brian may x reader #roger taylor x sarina #present day brian may x reader #present day roger taylor #present day brian may #2019!roger taylor #2019!brian may #2019!brian may x reader #brian may imagine #brian may fic #queen imagine #queen fic #too much love can kill you #soulmate fic #queen band fic

[kenkamishiro]

zakki:re translations, Part 4, Vol. 10-12

It’s been a while since my last post huh. TL;DR I got burnt out after the Q&As and had family stuff to deal with, but I’m well rested and figured the 1-year anniversary of TG:re ending sob would be a good time to come back. Thank you everyone who’s sent me wishes over the last few weeks, they mean a lot to me 🥰

I’ll try to post the zakki:re TLs weekly, but obviously no guarantees.

If you would like to start from the beginning, please click here.

Written as “ore” and read as “boku”. White Suit Kaneki was one of the cosplays I've always wanted to draw for him.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Joint issue no. 5~6, Opening colour page

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It didn’t look very good at first, so I drew a bunch of different versions. In the end I finished it off by adding a yellow eyepatch.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Issue no. 17, Opening colour page

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I drew this imagining a poster from a society after Furuta takes control. It makes you feel like you’ve gone back in time. The “NEW Panro” on the bottom right is good taste.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Issue no. 18, Center colour illustration

[T/N: I don’t know what “NEW Panro” is supposed to be. If someone knows, let me know.]

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The Qs - See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil series #1 The cover of :re volume 10. The covers for :re volumes 10-12 are a compilation of the Qs members. The first one with Urie is “speak no evil”. It’s a shot giving off the impression that Urie cannot express his true feelings well with words. Also, Urie’s mouth wasn’t drawn a lot in this volume because they were scenes where he was hiding his true feelings and the like. You could also say he has a Hello Kitty motif.

2017, Volume 10, Cover

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An illustration that conveys red blooming in her belly. Though it looks quite good as it is now. I made it look a bit different than usual by adding a light coating.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Joint issue no. 22~23, Opening colour page

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The Qs - See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil series #2 The cover of :re volume 11. “See no evil” for Mucchan.

I drew this with the idea of closing her eyes to what she needs to see. And on one side at that. A painting with angel’s wings on one side, with black blood spilling out from it.

The way the head is facing, I don’t choose this position often because it’s difficult to draw, but I tried drawing in that angle for this painting thinking that it would look good.

I had a hard time, but I like how it turned out. The name of the God who became her motif is written on the mosaic art in the back.

2017, Volume 11, Cover

[T/N: The name of the God (aka Haise) is explained here.]

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A lot of my favourite illustrations I’ve done are of Hinami. This is also one of them. Since she’s at that age where she’s transitioning from a girl to a woman, I think seeing this kind of scene looks nice.

The one putting the makeup on her is Eto.

2017, Volume 11, Cover flap

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The Qs - See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil series #3 The volume 12 cover of :re. “Hear no evil” for Saiko. I drew this with her wanting to plug her ears in mind. :re volume 12 is a memorable volume. First of all it had a loooot of corrections. I wasn’t able to exercise control in my analog line drawings, So thinking it wasn’t good, I went over most of the pages with a brush. There were also a lot of pages that were balanced by increasing the number of frames. Anyhow, it took a long time to retouch it, and I think I just barely finished the corrections in time. Looking back on it now, although it was revised, The quality of the line drawings during that period may have been at its peak. That’s just what I think though. I also like how rough the final drawing looks, and its impact when viewed in the magazine. If you look at it in the volume though, it’s probably better that it’s a bit more refined.

Chapter 125 This chapter is probably the biggest reason why this volume was so memorable. I wanted to draw this chapter alone no matter what, So I finished everything by myself without any help from the staff. Even with the one-week break from the Golden Week merger issue, I used up all my time. No drawing it with a perfect hand, and no typesetting. It was kinda awkward, after all.

2017, Volume 12, Cover

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I wanted to practice outside my usual style, so this is an image mixing a clear-cut painting with an impasto-ish style. Impasto is good for close-up illustrations of the face, but with a slight pull it can suddenly feel very thick. I tried painting, keeping in mind to reduce the colour volume without changing my painting style too much here. I think the light feeling of the face is just right. The finished version is more or less the grey one on the left, but I think the vibrance of the green is also good, so I have posted both versions.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Issue no. 30, Specially made W pinup

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An illustration for a clear file, I think? I don’t really remember. Design-wise it’s a good painting.

2017, Volume 12, Cover flap

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A cover illustration for Young Jump. "I worked really hard on this cover, is it okay if it's super gloomy?" I asked the editor-in-chief using my editor as an intermediary. "It's okay," he responded agreeably.

Did he already give up? I wondered, but thankfully I was allowed to do the dark cover.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Issue no. 35, Cover illustration

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This was the result when I was told, "Please do a 'Yeah, let's go to Kyoto'-kind of low-angle shot." I really like how unmotivated his stance looks.

Weekly Young Jump 2017, Issue no. 34, Center colour illustration

[T/N: “Yeah, let’s go to Kyoto” (Souda Kyouto, ikou) is a series of TV commercials by Japan Railway.]

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previous || next

#Tokyo Ghoul #zakki:re #Ishida Sui #Translations #my translations #zr translations #i'm glad to be working on these again :D #that hello kitty comparison though lol

[beautifulpaxielreads]

May Wrap Up

Books completed (ratings out of five stars)

Mockingjay (The Hunger Games #3) * by Suzanne Collins, audiobook read by Tatiana Maslany (★★★★★)

Cairo by G. Willow Wilson, art by M. K. Perker, lettering by Travis Lanham (★★★)

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (★★★★)

Scythe (Arc of a Scythe #1) * by Neal Shusterman (★★★★)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games #0) by Suzanne Collins (★★★★)

Books currently in progress

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon…

…but I plan to start The Toll (Arc of a Scythe #3) really soon!

*reread

Challenges, Games, and other Booklr interactions

Answered @lizziethereader​’s Weekly Bookish Question #179 (May 3rd-May 9th): What’s the latest addition to your bookshelf? and Weekly Bookish Question #181 (May 17th – May 23rd): Where [sic] you ever late to something because of a book? (my answers here and here)

Tagged by @storytime-reviews​ in the Big Book Tag game (my answer here)

JOMP Book Photography Challenge, May, Day 15: Time Period (set by @just0nemorepage​)

Shelf Confidence Book Photo Challenge, May, Day 13: Pretty in Pink (set by @myownlittlebookcorner​)

Answered @lizziethereader​’s Weekly Bookish Question #179 (May 3rd-May 9th): What’s the latest addition to your bookshelf? (NB This is NOT the same answer I mentioned earlier, I made that post later in the month than this) (full thread here)

Finished 2 books on my backlist, unofficially as part of @bookbandit​’s Beat the Backlist challenge.

As of today, I’ve so far read 27 books this year out of my planned 70. Running a bit behind, alas, but the year isn’t over yet!

Original Posts on Tumblr

Posted photograph of my current/upcoming reads shelf as of May 22nd (link)

Posted photograph of my newly-purchased copy of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (link, please note this is reblogged from my original blog @beautifulpaxiel​)

Posted an acknowledgement and thank you for reaching 800 followers for this blog, including my own graphic (link)

Posted photograph of my latest bookshop haul as of May 1 (link)

Reflections on May’s Reading Goals

 I finished all the books I had been reading in April, except for Northanger Abbey, which I really wasn’t in the mood for.

I didn’t start On the Trail of Genghis Khan. At the rate I’m going, I probably won’t read that until July now – but we’ll see.

Didn’t start any of my e-books. Oops.

I read Scythe, and as I write, I just finished the sequel, Thunderhead, the ending of which was mind-boggling. I’m not counting it as part of my books read in May since we’re already in June. Didn’t start The Toll, unfortunately – but I’m confident I’ll be finished with that one within a few days or so.

 As far as books on my backlist go, I finished Cairo and Red, White & Royal Blue.

I didn’t manage to get to Saga Land this month, but hopefully I’ll get to it sometime in June.

No more moodboards yet, but my participation on Booklr has been much better (see above) so I can live with that for now.

Started my new library hold, As far as the stars – but alas, I wasn’t really enjoying it, so I DNF’d it. Life’s too short for books you don’t like.

New followers

52!!!!!! Thank you to all and I hope you are enjoying my blog.

Interesting observations

I’ve really been enjoying the Arc of a Scythe trilogy, starting with my reread of the first book, Scythe. I got done with the 2nd book, Thunderhead, yesterday, and I can’t wait to see how Shusterman gets his characters out of that massive cliffhanger.

My TBR has been slow going. I just seem to keep putting off books and getting hold of new ones which pushes the old ones even further down the list. I DO want to read the books on my TBR, but the thing is there are so many good-looking OTHER books out there! Has anyone got the answer to this conundrum?

 I’m starting to get back into my reading groove this month after the lacklustre April I had - both in terms of Booklr participation and actual reading. I think I’m finally getting used to filling all the free time I have thanks to COVID-19, so it doesn’t seem so much of a chore now.

 I really need to learn to put down books I’m not enjoying earlier. I justify reading these books in the hope that book will improve, but it doesn’t always do that. I’ve been really wrapped up in the Arc of a Scythe series, which, as good as it’s been, doesn’t always leave much time for other books.

You may have noticed (ha!) that I’m still reading The Priory of the Orange Tree. I think this is one that I’ll keep returning to while I read other, shorter books in the meantime. I think it’s the kind of book that rewards a slow read, especially as the world building is so rich. Still have no end date in sight, but I don’t feel the need to rush with this one.

One big thing that I forgot to mention in my reading goals for April was The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Hunger Games #0) by Suzanne Collins. I read it well into the night and into the early morning and I have to say, it kind of left me shellshocked. I’m still trying to process it all, and I can say there’s a reread on the horizon so I can absorb more.

Reading (and reading-related) Goals for June

 Continue reading The Priory of Orange Tree at my own pace. No pressure to finish this month (or possibly the next) …

Start the books I recently borrowed from the library – Harley in the Sky by Akemi Dawn Bowman, Green Valentine by Lili Wilkinson (Aussie author!) and Onyx & Ivory (Rime Chronicles #1) by Mindee Arnett.

Start at least one of the ebooks on my tablet.

Read The Toll (Arc of a Scythe #3) by Neal Shusterman. Can’t wait to see how he wraps this series up.

MAYBE reread The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? Not sure yet, TBH. @lovelytothebone wants to do a group chapter-by-chapter reread at some point so I’ll probably wait for that.

More Booklr interaction, of course. That’s a given.

My GoodReads count for 2020 so far shows I’m two books behind schedule in my goal to reach 70 books read. I want to bring that up to date.

Maybe do another moodboard? Only if I’m in the mood (pun fully intended, he he) ….

Read at least one book by an author of colour

Start Saga Land by Richard Fidler & Kári Gíslason

I think that will do for the time being. See you all in July for the next monthly wrap-up!

#beautifulpaxiel reads #monthly wrap-ups #may

[bottseveryflavorbeans]

Masterpost of my fics on AO3

So I wanted to have a place to show off all my fics and I have finally gotten around to puttting them all on a list here so I can share it.

I hope some of you read my stuff and enjoy it. I had a lot of fun writing these, especially the memoir-esque on (Harry Potter and the Sexual Awakening) and my current WIP, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in Strange Magic becasue it’s sort of detective-noir/urban fantasy.

If you read any and like them, stop by and say hi!

1. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in Strange Magic (37K WIP update weekly, M/E)

Summary: It’s been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts and Harry Potter is an auror, who catches wind of a series of magical surges that he thinks are linked to something insidious, but with a mildly tarnished reputation, he has a hard time convincing people of the problem especially so soon after the war. Harry joins forces with unexpected allies to help him find the source of the magical surges and save the wizarding world again, even if it means going against the very Ministry for which he works.

Main Tags: auror!Harry, potionsmaster!Draco, case fic, slow burn/slow build, lots of angst and sadness (be warned), some triggers like mention of past rape/abuse, mystery, suicidal thoughts, detrustive behavior, EWE, bi!Harry, gay!Draco

2. A Series of Unfortunate Ghosts (26K, E)

Summary: It’s sixth year and Draco Malfoy’s life is about to change thanks to some meddlesome ghosts who show him the path he is on is not the only path for him. Between their ghoulish advice and some deep soul searching, Draco regains some of the hope he lost.

Main Tags: sixth year au, Christmas carol themed, established relationship, angst, mention of past abuse

3. The Beginning of Something to Savor (5K, M)

Summary: Draco is out to blow off steam when he spots Harry Potter, crying, at the bar. He goes over, like a good partner should, to check on Harry completely out of a sense of what is right and not at all having to do with Draco’s little crush.

Main Tags: auror partners, sexual tension, post Hogwarts

4. Say it Again (9K, M)

Summary: After Yule Ball (in 8th year), Draco finds himself at an after party on the Durmstrang ship locked in the headmasters bathroom. He is trying to calm himself down, manages it, but then Harry Potter throws a wrench in things.

Main Tags: 8th year, second triwizard tournament, Yule ball, first kiss, drinking games

5. An Invite to Dance (3K, T)

Summary: This is a Western AU where Draco (Drake Mal) has stolen a gun, his gun, back from Harry ( Golden Harold Potts).

Drake has been on the run, trying to stay ahead of Golden Harold Potts, but each time he thinks he’s outrun the sheriff, he finds himself face to face with his foe. Golden Harold caught up to him and interrupted his drink, so they duel.

Main Tags: western au, auror partners, POV Draco

6. Pride and Prejudice and Mr. Harry J. Potter (6K, T)

Summary: Draco Malfoy is on the outside of society life after his family was tried for aligning themselves with Voldemort. The only thing that saved him was the intervention of one Mr. Harry J. Potter, the wizarding worlds most well-regarded man. Draco, who has been smitten with Mr. Potter feels rejected and when meeting him at a ball, decides to manintain his dignity and refuse to engage with Mr. Potter. *This is a Pride and Prejudiuce inspired piece*

Main Tags: pride and prejudice au, dancing, banter, angst with a happy ending, fluff, one shot

7. Snow Falling on Us (5K, T)

Summary: This is a (belated) Christmas fic...I hope you all are still in the mood for it. It is Christmas Eve, Draco has roped Harry into helping him break into Snapes potions stores for an ingredient. Harry agrees because he owes Draco for all his help in potions. So invisibility cloak in hand, they head off to Snapes stores, but things go wrong and they end up in detention on Christmas Eve.

Main Tags: Christmas Eve, fluff, snowball fight

8. Seeker’s Games (7K, T)

Summary: Harry and Draco met on the pitch to play a seekers game. It turns into a regular thing and while it started as a way to get out frustrations and play quidditch since 8th years weren’t allowed on the house teams, it grew into something more.

Main Tags: 8th year, one shot, flirting, quidditch, seekers, midnight meetings, friends to lovers

9. Threats and Promises (11K WIP, E)

Summary: This is the Voldemort wins AU that no one asked for, and yet...Voldemort wins the war and takes Harry, Hermione, and Ron prisoner because he has decided they are more valuable alive, at least for now. They are kept at Malfoy Manor since Lucius has proven to be a resourceful and reliable minion. The task of torturing the trio for information on the whereabouts of any remaining rebels falls to Draco. This duty is one Draco willingly accepts. His other duties are much less pleasant. At least in the cellar, Draco has control and power over his captors—it is especially alluring when it comes to Harry.

**This is a WIP that is currently on pause while I finish other things

Main Tags: au Voldemort wins, prisoner Harry, torture, hate sex, violence, abuse

10. A Night on the Town (1K, M)

Summary: This is a fun, short one-shot where Draco and Harry are on their way to a party being thrown in Harry's honor. And Harry doesn't know if it's the fancy limo Draco got them, or the excitement of officially becoming Draco's boyfriend, but he can't keep his hands off of him.

Main Tags: smut, limo sex, dirty talk, established relationship

11. When Desire Comes Calling (3K, M)

Summary: This is a one-shot based off of a prompt. "I'll be right back with your drinks," Harry mumbled, avoiding Draco's gaze and thanking the gods that he pretended not to know him. He wasn’t ready to acknowledge Draco just yet anyway. Almost getting caught & biting.

Main Tags: post Hogwarts, past relationship, Harry is a bartender, exhibitionism, public sex

12. Always Some Madness in Love (9K, T)

Summary: This is a collection of conversations that Harry has with people. I wanted to try and write a story from Harry's perspective, but only focused on one person at a time and have the story unfold that way. So each chapter is a just Harry and that person talking about his situation with Draco, in one form or the other. Harry is in love and doesn't know what to do, but when Ginny figures it out, he realizes he is in deep and needs adivce on how to deal with the fact that he loves Draco Malfoy, whom he get's reaquanted with two years after The Battle of Hogwarts because they both play recreational Quidditch.

Main Tags: slow burn, angst, fluff, post Hogwarts, auror Harry, unspeakable Draco

13. An Unrelenting Hunger (Under 1K, T)

Summary: Just a small, slightly erotic drabble about our favorite neighborhood wizards, Harry "I am so suave" Potter and Draco "I am so oblvious" Malfoy.

Main Tags: seduction, flirting, one shot

14. The Bet (1.5K, T)

Summary: It's eighth year and house unity is at it's peak. After an evening of drinking firewhiskey, Harry and Draco get into a disagreement about which of them is more seductive. Draco claims that Harry wouldn't know what to do, even if he tried. However, Harry knows there is at least one person who cannot resist him; Draco Malfoy. The bet is on. Who will emerge the victor?

Main Tags: 8th year, bets, dirty talk, seduction, drinking

15. Girls Just Wanna (6K, M)

Summary: This takes place two months after Harry and Draco get together (See: Harry Potter and the Sexual Awakening). They are throwing an engagement party for Neville and Blaise, but Draco is still in "I want Harry all to myself" mode, so when Ginny interrupts Draco littering kisses all over his new boyfriend, he convinces Ginny to go flirt with Pansy. After all, Ginny did say Pansy had a nice arse.

Main Tags: bathroom sex, spin off from series, female slash

16. Harry Potter and the Sexual Awakening (33.7K, M)

Summary: Harry Potter gets outed by Rita Skeeter in a recent Daily Prophet article and decides to take matters into his own hands. He decides to write a tell-all that everyone wants, the story of how he came to terms with his sexuality. What no one, especially Draco Malfoy, expects is this book doubles as a love letter to someone Harry calls, L.B. In the midst of being assigned to read and review Potter's new book, Draco realizes that some of the stories Potter tells in his book seem a little too familair. Thus, bringing up old feelings about the man.

Main Tags: slow burn, angst, lots of sex, past relationships, new relationships, memoir esque, POV switches, Draco pines a lot, Draco is shy

17. Hot for Teacher (15K WIP, M)

Summary: The students at Hogwarts are playing a dangerous game with Love Potions. Harry Potter is the Auror assigned to deal with the recent thefts from Hogwarts' Potions Professor and find the person behind the Love Potions. What Harry is not ready to deal with is his resurfacing feelings for none other than Potions Professor, Draco Malfoy.

**This is a WIP that is currently on pause while I finish other things

Main Tags: post Hogwarts, hogwarts professors neville and Draco, smut, auror Harry

18. Professor Malfoy Likes it Dirty (2.2K, M)

Summary: Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts newest Potions Professor, has a crush (a sex-dream-induced-crush) on Hogwarts very own Herbology Professor, Neville Longbottom.

Main Tags: a flirtation that leads to something hot, hogwarts professors

19. Song of my Soul (26.5K, T)

Summary: Harry is having nightmares again and just when he thinks there is nothing to help him, he hears a song. The song is coming from the Room of Requirement and it is beautiful. Without realizing it, the song helps Harry fall asleep. Harry finds he is desperate to know who is playing the song and Hermione thinks up a clever way to help.

Main Tags: slow burn, 8th year, romance, talent show, anonymous love

20. A Taxi, an Old Enemy, and Valentine’s Day (2.8K, T)

Summary: Harry, recently dumped, is being set up by Ron and Hermione and on Valentine's day no less. Harry of course is sort of sad and needs time to think before arriving at the Valentine's dinner, so he takes a cab which he ends up sharing with Draco Malfoy.

Main Tags: fluff, Valentine’s Day, one shot

21. Seven Minutes with Draco Malfoy (25.6K, M)

Summary: Harry was scared. Scared that he didn’t quite hate Malfoy anymore and wondered when that had happened and how he had not noticed it. Scared that he like being in this situation a little too much.

Main Tags: drinking games, 8th year, seven mins in heaven, slow burn

#drarry squad #drarry #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry feels #drarry fanfic #drarry slowburn fic #drarry case fic #drarry au #drarry endgame #drarry fanfiction #drarry one shot #drarry drabble #drarry fic rec #my writing #my writing on ao3 #drarry ao3 #drarry fandom

[shipmistress9]

FTLOAP: Chapter 34: And There’s Tears We Cry, But Those Tears Will Fade

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net  -  AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 2: Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1; Chapter 33

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: WHOOOHOOW! We're getting started again! I'm so excited! :D It feels like it's been ages, even though I probably needed the break. But on a sidenote: It's been almost exactly a yeah now since this story started! That's CRAZY!

This week's title comes once again from Walking The Wire by Imagine Dragons.

I feel like I should warn you though... Remember how I said I'd use the time to write a buffer for the summer? Yeah... well, that didn't happen. I fell into a bit of a motivation hole and barely wrote anything during these two months. In the end, I managed to write one and a half chapters for this story, which means that after posting this, I'm back to the usual slightly stressful pressure of writing one chapter per week... In addition to that, my life outside of fandom became more complicated too, which in the end means that I can't promise to keep up the weekly schedule. I'll do my best! But if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work.

. o O o .

“I don’t want to go…”Hiccup murmured against her neck, and a light shudder ran through Astrid’s body.

It wasn’t the first time these words passed between them lately, not at all. In the two months since Daniel had left for Westhill, they had been a near-daily occurrence. Sometimes, like now, they came muttered against her skin or her hair, sometimes they were filled with desperation when they clutched each other close, or sometimes it was her who said them, a pained, pleading ‘I don’t want you to go…’.

And yet, there was nothing either of them could do about it. With every happy day they shared, the impending separation came closer and closer. It was only two days until her birthday now, and the day after that House Jag’r would return to Eastervale. Their time was almost up.

“I know,” she murmured back, awkwardly turning in Hiccup’s embrace to seek his lips with her own. Their kiss was harder than she’d intended, but then even that wasn’t uncommon lately. What had been intended as relatively harmless cuddling turned into heated kissing in the blink of an eye, her hands clutching his hair just as fiercely as his clutched at her waist.

Only with great effort did Astrid manage to pull back again, to give them both at least the tiniest bit of space to catch their breath and to calm down. This wasn’t the time to get carried away, even though Astrid wouldn’t deny that she’d enjoyed it. She threw Hiccup a soft but sad smile over her shoulder before she leaned back against his chest, basking in his warmth, and tried to push away all heavy thoughts.

It was an early spring day and the sun shone brightly through the stable's windows. It was possible that the chill would return before summer truly broke through, but for now, the weather was nice enough. And, as so often during these last two months, her father had allowed her to spend the sunny day with Dagur and Eret outside instead of with her governess in a stuffy room. Maybe he’d seen how gloomy she’d become after Daniel had left, had seen that spending time with her brothers was the only thing that was able to cheer her up, and had decided that, as long as they were here at the castle, she should spend as much time with them as was possible. Astrid hadn’t contradicted him; he wasn’t wrong, after all. Spending time with Eret and Dagur was always good, even though that was only part of why she always was in a better mood after those days.

With her and Hiccup not being the only ones dreading the upcoming separation, it had been easy to convince Eret and Dagur to leave her with Hiccup at the stables so that they could… spend some time alone. It only had needed her to assure them that she wasn't uncomfortable with Hiccup keeping watch over her in their stead, which Eret was far quicker to accept than Daniel had been. Sometimes the thought about what bad chaperones they were to each other made her laugh, but she surely wouldn't complain. On the contrary, being able to spend nearly every second day with Hiccup at the stables, more or less unobserved and in addition to being here every night anyway, had been a far better way to spend those two months then she'd expected.

During the days, they never retreated to Hiccup's sleeping stall; the temptation to fall asleep during lazy cuddles and the accompanying risk of missing Eret's and Dagur's return was simply too great. But she didn't feel as if they were missing out. While she greatly enjoyed their nights of solitude, of being free to explore each other in every way imaginable, the days of connecting in other ways were wonderful too. At first, it had worried her that they never knew when the others would return. But with Dagur never being quiet and always laughing or joking and them just having to shuffle a bit away from each other instead of putting clothes back on, it was easily manageable.

With a contented sigh, Astrid shuffled out of Hiccup's embrace and reached for the book she'd dropped next to the straw bale they sat on. She'd taken over Daniel's habit of bringing interesting books for Hiccup from their library, and more often than not, she and Hiccup ended up looking through some of them together. And she loved it. It didn't matter whether she'd picked a theoretical book about metallurgy which Hiccup was more than happy to explain to her, or whether she'd chosen a storybook for them to read to each other and enjoy together. Every second she spent with Hiccup was precious, and with every day she got to know him better, she felt as if her soul was getting more and more complete.

Even though every day brought them closer and closer to their separation.

“So, what did you bring today?” he asked, the effort of forcing his attention away from the topic of leaving audible in his tone. He peered over her shoulder, hands lightly resting around her waist.

Humming, Astrid shuffled a little closer again, enjoying his warmth against her back, before she directed their attention to the book in her lap. “‘The Exotics Of The South,” she replied, indicating the translated subtitle, glad that Hiccup couldn't see her half-hidden mischievous smirk as she turned over the first few pages. “It sounded interesting, to say the least. I've never been to the Southlands, but the stories Dagur occasionally tells from the Southshore traders and sailors are intriguing. Have you ever been there?” She paused at a page that showed a foreign landscape that seemed to consist of nothing but sand. Like an endless beach, except there seemed to be no lake or ocean anywhere. There was a description, written in a foreign tongue, with a scribe’s translation written in small letters under it But between the size of the letters and the scribe’s dialect, it was difficult to make out what the scribe had written in the subtext.

Chuckling lightly, Hiccup shook his head. “No, I haven't. I’ve never left Volantis, always hoped…” he trailed off as she turned the next page.

The picture there was stunning; a forest, but not like anything she’d ever seen before. The trees seemed to reach up endlessly into the sky, and every bit of space between them was filled with other plants, with huge leaves and colourful flowers everywhere. They gazed at the picture for a minute in awed silence before Hiccup reached around her to flip to the next page. It showed a market, but again everything seemed to be bigger and more colourful, fuller as if every tiny bit of space was stuffed with goods and wares and people. There were weapons, rolls of cloth, and an endless variety of objects Astrid couldn't even guess what they were supposed to be. And the scribe’s subtext translation was useless, as Astrid opined, but that just made it more fun, as they could try to make up their own explanations.

“I agree, it’s an interesting book,” Hiccup commented cheerfully after Astrid had suggested that the giant wavy sword was clearly for slicing bread. But then he sobered up again and stroked the page almost reverently, looking at an image of an exotic banquet. His eyes were darting back and forth, trying to take in every detail. “I'd like to see more of the world one day, visit these places, see them with my own eyes. Maybe we can see them together one day.”

Astrid hummed in agreement, her fingers caressing the back of his hand where it rested on the page. “I’d like that.”

The book was full of more pictures, every single one just as wondrous as the others.

The chapter about foreign animals was entertaining, and the scribe’s subtext was at least marginally useful as in they at least could read the headlines. They’d both heard of lions before, but the gigantic beast with a ridiculously long nose and ears called an elephant just baffled them both. However, trying to explain the different kinds of food in the following chapter was nigh on impossible. Astrid spotted something that looked somewhat like Heather’s pastries, but that was about it.

There were more chapters, about clothing, buildings, and strange objects that apparently were part of daily life, and Hiccup and Astrid worked their way through them with much laughter and interest, always trying to come up with an explanation that was either sensible or as ridiculous as possible. It was fun even though Astrid was eager to get to the last chapter. She had, after all, flipped through the book before, and no matter how interesting the other chapters had been, this last one was the one that had really piqued her interest and prompted her to bring the book.  Why she’d been allowed to have access to the book by her governess, she had no idea; probably the woman hadn’t spotted those last few pages...

Innocently, she turned the page, and behind her, Hiccup sucked in a breath at the first picture of that last chapter. Astrid felt him shift slightly behind her, his fingers on her waist twitching.

“Well, I’d say that looks interesting,” she commented merrily, intently eyeing the picture. It showed two people, a man lying behind a woman, both naked. In fact, it didn’t look that different from how she and Hiccup often slept, with him curled around her back and their knees bent for comfort. But judging by the expressions on their faces, the people on this picture weren’t sleeping. No, not at all.

“Yeah,” Hiccup breathed. “Interesting…” He swallowed audibly, then turned the page with shaking fingers.

Astrid wondered idly what he’d hoped to see, but the low groan he made told her that it probably wasn’t this. Another picture of two people, with the man somehow kneeling over one of the woman’s legs while her other was lifted up and resting on his shoulder. Feeling a by now familiar tingle in her belly, Astrid tried to appear unperturbed as she flipped to the next page. “Oh, wow,” she commented, disbelievingly. “This looks… is that even possible?”

“It is,” Hiccup muttered, voice low and hoarse.

Astrid mused that, without her heavy dress cushioning his grip, there certainly would be finger-shaped bruises on her hips tomorrow with how tightly he gripped her now. But she honestly didn’t care. Their explorations of each other had continued during the last two months, up to the point where he now at least allowed her to feel and touch him with her hand. However, he was still adamant about his rule, about not going too far. And although Astrid agreed, it was still fun to tease him, to try and get to him. And judging by something hard pressing against her rear right now, she’d been successful by bringing this of all books.

She was about to turn to the next picture, wondering what else they would show and how Hiccup would react, when Dagur’s booming laughter sounded through the wooden wall toward them.

With a muttered curse, Hiccup hastily jumped off the bale. “You’re horrible!” he groaned, even as he bent to place a quick kiss on her cheek. He obviously had no illusions about Astrid having brought this book by accident, but the twinkle in his eyes told her that he didn’t mind. Not really at least.

Chuckling, Astrid closed it and put it at the bottom of the small stack of books she’d brought today, while Hiccup apparently decided that his state of enthusiasm demanded for him to hide in one of the stalls for now.

It was good that they had some semblance of routine by now, Astrid thought as she brushed off straw and dust from her skirt and shuffled back on the straw bale as if she’d been sitting there all on her own. The first few times, she and Hiccup had been nervous, sure that Eret and Dagur would notice something. But they didn’t, and with that nervousness gone by now, it was easy to act as if nothing had happened. As if they hadn’t spent the last couple of hours as close as they dared during the day, exchanging caresses, kisses, and soft words.

Just to look as if she was actually doing something, Astrid reached for an apple from their picnic basket, right before the door opened and Eret and Dagur came back in.

“Stop whatever you’re doing and act normal. We’re back,” Dagur called jokingly, which drew a chorus of groans and practically audible eye-rolling from everyone else.

“You know, Dagur. The first time, this was a little bit funny, but by now, it’s only boring,” Astrid deadpanned. She didn’t even need to act to sound accordingly bored. Sure, the first time hadn’t been funny either, but at least the boring part was true by now.

Dagur, however, snickered nonetheless. “Well, you never know,” he said as he led Squish back into his stall. “But even with nothing interesting happening here; Hiccup, you still better not tell your girlfriend that you once again spend the whole day alone with the Princess. We wouldn’t want her to get jealous now, would we?” He laughed at his own childish joke again, but this time, Astrid couldn’t help an amused smile from playing around her lips.

“I can assure you,” she replied, trying to sound as unperturbed as she could, “there is no reason for his girlfriend to be jealous.”

Dagur nodded. “I didn’t think so anyway,” he said, winking. “I vividly remember him swooning about her in that tavern. I have no doubts; he wouldn’t risk anything that might have him lose her.”

From the background, Hiccup called over, “And it wasn’t even ‘the entire day’ this time anyway. It’s barely past noon.”

But Dagur didn’t react to Hiccup’s attempt at changing the subject. Instead, he turned more serious all of a sudden. “I was just thinking that she’d certainly like to spend these last days with you too. It can’t be easy for you to be separated for so long.”

“Woah, Dagur, way to kill the mood,” Eret mumbled, saying exactly what Astrid was thinking.

She ducked her head, glad that nobody was paying her any mind anyway with them all being busy with their horses. The last hour of teasing and laughing with Hiccup had effectively wiped away those gloomy thoughts, but now, it all came crashing down on her again. Only three days, and then Hiccup wouldn’t be here anymore. Three days before the months of separation where they wouldn't even be able to exchange small letters or notes. Once more, she feverishly tried to think of any way that would allow Eret and therefore Hiccup to stay just a little bit longer. But, as always, she came up empty-handed.

“I guess we better get going,” Eret said as soon as Crusher and Squish were cared for. “There's still a little time, but I promised Ruff you'd be back in time, and I really don't need for them to play some last prank on me just for letting them wait. Besides, there's a party waiting for us.”

With a sigh, Astrid nodded. Snot's accolade was a good-enough reason to leave the stables, a happy occasion, all in all. Yes, she’d rather stay here with Hiccup, spend as much time with him as possible while they could, but she was also looking forward to meeting up with yet another of her adoptive brothers and to celebrate his big day with him. And the knowledge that she’d be here with Hiccup in only a couple of hours again made parting easier.

“I wonder what stories the Snotman will try to sell us this time,” Dagur wondered as they made their way back to the castle. “It’s always too funny to compare his exaggerations with what really happened when Daniel tells us about it later.”

“Or watch him flirt excessively,” Eret added, chuckling. “He’s hopeless.”

They all burst out into laughter, and Astrid felt the tension in her body lessen. It wasn’t all bad, she reminded herself. Her eyes wandered to the little pond as they passed it, to her beloved swans. But the surface was empty except for a handful of ducks, and, a little disappointed, her mind drifted back to the conversation.

“Ah, I think you’re a little mean,” she gently chided her brothers. “He’s allowed to flirt, remember? Just because you don’t feel like it doesn’t mean he can’t. And he’s polite enough about it anyway; I have yet to meet someone who complained about him.”

Laughing with good humour, Eret and Dagur agreed.

“Yes! The Snotman never gets complaints!” Dagur said.

“He’s too suave and debonair,” Eret commented, and with that, they continued on up to the path to the castle.

. o O o .

Dressing for the accolade took a while; her outfit for the night featured a gown of black satin with silver detailing, and was accessorized with a silver version of her swan coronet and a delicate silver brooch of a bear.  But eventually she was deemed sufficient to outshine any of the other noblewomen in attendance and Tuff escorted her to the throne room. On her way, she mused about how different she felt compared to the other times she’d been about to reunite with one of her brothers lately.

For Eret’s accolade, her head had been filled with wayward thoughts about that stable boy she’d met, mourning about how she would never see him again. And later, she’d feared Hiccup might do something stupid, exposing himself during Eret’s accolade. And with Dagur at their reception, she’d been so afraid what could happen to Hiccup if Eret had seen them touching, and then there’d been Harold–

With force, Astrid pushed that thought out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about Harold, not ever again. He didn’t matter.

Taking a deep breath, she instead focused on what lay ahead of her. Snot’s accolade, the last big social occasion for a good while. Knowing that Hiccup wouldn’t be there tonight saddened her a little, but she knew that he was still avoiding bigger gatherings of noblemen if he could in order to not get recognised. She still hadn’t gotten around to actually ask him who he’d been before. But there had never been the right moment, and somehow, it didn’t really matter anyway. She knew who he was right now, knew that he was her future, and that was all she needed. Especially now with their separation looming over them.

A little while later, she sat in her usual smaller throne, next to her father and surrounded by the Fyrirs, and watched as the relatively short procession from Westhill entered the throne room. Off to the side were Sir Eret, Sir Dagur, and the Grand Duke of Eastervale – with Grand Duke Oswald currently convalescing from a debilitating but thankfully not life-threatening illness. While they were not part of the official witnesses, they were certainly more important than the other visitors of lower rank. When Snotlout came into view, wearing a black satin tabard with House Jorgenson’s bear embroidered in silver threads over a silken black shirt and silver chainmail, Astrid couldn’t help but grin. Both Eret and Dagur had looked rather funny in their exaggerated outfits, but for Snot, it somehow worked. He’d always been focused on how he looked, after all, and today he looked splendid.

Reaching the foot of the thrones, he went to one knee and bowed his head.

Try as she might, Astrid found herself losing focus as Snot recited the formulaic oaths. She’d heard them so many times before, after all. Instead, she found herself wondering how Hiccup would sound when he knelt where Snotlout was right now. Would she be able to keep a straight face when Hiccup swore before the gods to always defend a lady’s honour? The rest of the oaths, though, yes, she could see him managing those parts with panache. Always telling the truth... well, he could bend it like a pretzel, but he didn’t lie. Devoted to the gods, his lord, and the Temple? Definitely. Act with honour and charity and kindness? She managed to keep from scoffing and disrupting Snotlout’s accolade only because her princess mask was on. But the thought of Hiccup acting unkindly or with dishonour... no, it was rightly absurd. And the rest of it – oaths detailing preparedness for war and courage on the battlefield, and more? There was no doubt in her mind that he would excel.

Her father tapped Snotlout on the shoulders with Astrid’s grandfather’s sword – still sharp enough to shave with, according to Eret – and the newly minted Sir Snotlout of House Jorgenson rose back to his feet. He had a proud grin on his face, which grew even wider as he received similar gifts as Eret and Dagur had gotten before him, the traditional helmet and the additional sword and scabbard ornate with a bear and a swan in black and silver.

“Congratulations, man,” Eret greeted him with a slap to the shoulder after the stiff formation was loosing up.

"Yes, yes, thank you," Snot grumbled. "Just don't break my shoulder right away, all right? I still need it, you know?" His words held no venom though, and a moment later, another grin spread across his face. "Oh man, it's really good to see you again. I didn’t think it possible, but I actually missed you guys. It's good to see a couple of familiar faces in-between the thousands of nameless ones passing through Westhill these days."

"Aww, we missed you too," Dagur crooned and took Snot into an exaggerated hug. It made Snot protest, though not for long, and they all ended up laughing freely.

"It really is good to see you, Snot," Eret eventually agreed after they'd calmed again. "It's been too long. Two years now?"

Snotlout nodded. "Aye. I wish we could have come last year, but it's all chaos. The number of bandit and raider groups is growing, outposts are falling apart, and everybody, soldiers and residents alike, are losing their will to live. This war is going on for far too long now."

"Well, then it's up to us to change that, I guess," Dagur threw in, grinning. "But what about Daniel? I assume you met with him? How are his repairs of the outposts going? And what was the name of that other place? Redpeak?"

Snot nodded. "Aye, I've seen him, but only briefly; we barely got the chance to talk for longer than an hour. The repairs though..." he paused, frowning, then went on, "Well, it was quite a surprise to learn that he wouldn't see to the repairs of the outposts this year after all. Father was furious. Although, there seemed to be have been a good reason for the change of plans, because once Daniel and Father talked about it, my old man was far more agreeable. Do you guys know anything about it?"

"Not much," Eret said, shrugging. "Only that he wanted to alter Redpeak instead of the repairs, because something important came up, leaving him with less time than originally planned for. But I assume that is a good enough alternative, from the little I understood?"

Snot nodded again, even though he was still frowning. "It is. If he manages to make Redpeak usable, that would truly be an invaluable asset. Father's change of mind still surprised me though. Didn't think he'd take another delay so lightly. Ah, well, his actions rarely make sense to me anyway, so whatever." He shrugged the topic off, then turned with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes toward Astrid. "But I'm sorry, I forgot my manners. Fair Lady, please excuse me for not properly greeting you directly. May I say that you became even more beautiful since the last time we met? Seriously, your beauty is dazzling. If only we could bottle it and release it onto our enemies; they would stop fighting immediately and freeze in awe."

From nearly anyone else, words like these would have annoyed Astrid to no end. But this was Snot, and she knew well enough how to handle him. "Oh, stop that, you idiot," she snorted, and gave him a light punch to the shoulder. Certainly not suitable behaviour for the Princess, but they all knew how to take it, and Astrid didn't care much what others thought.

Snot burst out laughing, then took her into a friendly hug. "It's good to see you again, little sis. But I mean it, you did become more beautiful."

He winked at her as they parted, and, with a fond smile, Astrid rolled her eyes at him. Snot was and always had been a gigantic flirt. That was just who he was, but Astrid knew just how to take it. His compliments came freely, but they were honest, and even with his braggy and sometimes over-confident behaviour, he never crossed the line toward being obtrusive. He just loved the ladies, and more often than not, the ladies were quite fond of him too.

Still shaking her head with amusement over how Snot would probably never change, it surprised her when suddenly an unfamiliar voice spoke up, more closely than she'd expected for any stranger to come.

"Um, sir? How long am I supposed to wait here?"

Frowning, Astrid turned toward the source of that voice, just like Dagur and Eret did, while Snot let out a low groan. Behind him stood a boy, which he then led forward with a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

"Right," Snotlout muttered. "May I introduce Her Royal Highness, Princess Astrid of House Hofferson, and the ducal heirs Sir Eret of House Jag'r and Sir Dagur of House Berserker. And this is Gustav of House Larsson, my squire."

Snot waved his hand from one to the other, and Astrid inspected the boy with a guarded expression. Even though the boy didn’t look anything like Dagur’s former squire had looked, meeting him still brought back memories of Harold. But just like before, she fought them down immediately, and once again wished that Hiccup was here. Even as she knew that he wouldn't be able to do much – certainly not hold her, claim her, and keep other men from approaching her – him just being here, near to her, would have been good.

"How did you manage that?" cut Dagur's amused snicker into her thoughts, and Astrid focused on him instead of her dark mood. She threw Dagur a questioning look who was looking at the boy with clear amusement. "Where did you find a younger and even shorter copy of yourself?" Both he and Eret were visibly fighting laughter, and Astrid threw another look at the boy Gustav. And had to bite back a giggle too.

Even though he was much younger and, indeed, shorter than Snot, Gustav looked eerily similar to his master. Not as if they were related though, but more as if the boy actively tried to look as much like his master as was possible. Which was confirmed as the boy began to speak again.

"I’ve been looking up to Lo– Sir Snotlout for all my life,” he declared, beaming. “I always wanted to be just like him, a great warrior, beloved and admired wherever he goes, and I’m so grateful that he agreed to take me as his squire."

"’Beloved and admired wherever he goes’... Is that what you told him?" Dagur was barely able to keep himself together anymore.

"Hey, it's the truth," Snot shrugged, grinning. "I'm a hero, and everybody loves me."

Astrid felt as if a good smack on the head would do her brothers good, all of them, but before she could say or do anything else, Gustav turned his attention toward her.

"And I agree with my master. Highness, you really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said, grinning, bowed, and reached for her hand to place a kiss on its back.

There was a moment of tense silence, Dagur and Eret momentarily sobering up again. But before either of them could say anything, Snot beat them to it. "Woah, Gustav, back off. I know you don't know better so I'll leave it at that. But for the future, no hitting on the Princess. She's like a sister to me, so that's just creepy."

Gustav looked clearly puzzled. "But you–"

"I know her since she was born," Snot interrupted him sternly. "And she knows it was just for fun. But I don't want to see anything like this ever again. Understood?"

"Yes, master," the boy said, obediently and clearly remorseful. "Please, excuse my bluntness, Your Highness. I-I didn't mean to be disrespectful. I’ll retreat now, if I may?"

"Yes, you are dismissed," Snot waved him off, not without a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder, and then Gustav disappeared into the crowd.

"I'm sorry for that," Snot said with a light shrug. "He tries to be just like me, but doesn't know yet when to say something and when to hold his tongue. Something like that won't happen again."

Astrid nodded, arms wrapped around herself. She felt as if she ought to say something, but didn't know what, couldn't find her voice.

"You better make sure it doesn't," Dagur muttered, voice more serious than it had been all evening. From the corner of her eye, Astrid noticed him and Eret exchanging a quick glance, then Dagur pulled Snot to the side, talking in quiet voices. She could imagine all too well what Dagur was telling him, but she didn't want to think about Harold again. Instead, she focused on Eret's hand on her back as he led her to one of the high tables and gladly accepted the glass of wine after he'd waved over a servant.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

Astrid took a moment, but then nodded. "Yes, I am," she murmured. "I'm over what happened with... with Harold. I'm fine." She glanced up at Eret and gave him a weak if true smile. And she meant it. Sure, Gustav had woken unpleasant memories, but she wouldn't let them rule her.

And to her relief, Eret believed her. He nodded, a faint smile on his lips. "Okay. But promise me to tell me if something's bothering you after all, okay? You only need to say it, and we'll take care of it, whatever it is."

His words made her laugh, warming her from the inside even though she knew he wouldn't be able to keep that promise. "Thank you. Really. But Gustav is not a problem."

Eret nodded again, but his expression became serious nonetheless. "Then what is? Because I can see that you're not happy."

Astrid's smile turned a little sad, and she averted her eyes. Eret knew her too well. She contemplated shrugging his concerns off, but she didn't feel like lying again, especially not to him.

"I'm not," she admitted. She hesitated, then nodded toward an empty sitting corner near a big window. They walked there, and once they'd sat down, Astrid continued. "You're right, I'm not happy. But even though I appreciate your promise to 'take care of it', I fear you won't be able to." Eret frowned, so, after biting her lip, she went on, at least telling him all she could tell him. "I wish you wouldn't have to leave," she said with shaky laughter. "I-I got quite used to... all your presence during the last few months, and I fear how it will be once you're all gone again." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't just that the thought of being separated from Hiccup was tearing her apart; she would also miss Eret and Dagur, and Snot as well, and feared falling into a hole of loneliness once they were gone.

Eret grimaced, and soothingly rubbed his hand up and down her back. “Yeah… You’re right, there’s not much we can do about that. I don’t think we can put off returning much longer. The weather is warm enough by now, and the herd needs to return to our pasturage lands.” He sighed, but then perked his head up with a wide grin. “But how about you visited us? You could come as guest of honour to Ester’s wedding? I’m sure your father would support such a show of allegiance, and my sister would be honoured to have you there. Maybe you could stay a couple of weeks, keep Mirja company so she doesn’t feel too lonely at first. And we could go on rides through the countryside; I could show you the lands and the people.” He gave a little shrug. “What do you say?”

“That would be wonderful!” Astrid agreed, a hopeful smile on her face. “And yes, I’m sure Father would allow that. That’s just the kind of representative duty I’m supposed to undertake as Princess, isn’t it?” She could literally feel her mood rising higher and higher the longer she thought about Eret’s suggestion. Getting out, getting to see more of their Kingdom, their people, spending time with Eret and his family, with the horses – and with Hiccup! If her father agreed, then they wouldn’t be separated for months on end after all. Sure, they would need to find new ways to meet in Eastervale, but that certainly would be manageable. A part of her wanted to jump up and ask her father right away, but she knew tonight was not the time. However, she would ask him as soon as possible.  

“I’m glad I was able to lighten your mood,” Eret mused, smiling. “This is supposed to be a party, after all. Come on, let’s find Dag and Snot, and celebrate.”

Astrid spent the rest of the party in a surprisingly good mood, surprising to her at least. Despite the happy occasion and finally seeing Snot again, she hadn’t expected to really feel happy until she met up with Hiccup again later. But with the prospect of Eret’s suggestion and the cheerful company of her brothers, the night was filled with laughter and joy.

They spent hours reminiscing on fond memories and catching up on what had happened to all of them lately, and eventually – on Eret’s suggestion – crashed the party by turning it into a ball once more. At first, Snot had been reluctant, worried about how his father would certainly scold him for acting improperly. But with Dagur’s encouraging teasing and Eret’s reasoning about how this was Snot’s day and not his father’s, he was eventually convinced. They took turns dancing with Astrid, and before long more and more couples were joining them, the good mood quickly becoming contagious.

All in all, the day ended much better than Astrid had originally anticipated.

. o O o .

“Oh, Freya…” Hiccup moaned, a shiver running through his entire body. Astrid could tell that he was fighting to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at her, but every so often they fluttered shut despite his best efforts.

Astrid loved watching Hiccup like this. Because she was doing this! Everything, his pressed noises, his dazed eyes being unable to focus, his accelerated breathing, his flushed face, and his hands helplessly clenching at the straw beneath – all that were reactions to what she did, and it never ceased to fill her with amazement.

With measured motions, she kept stroking him, thrilling in the moment. It was only recently that Hiccup had loosened his strict rule, had allowed this to happen. He had been reluctant at first, but her curiosity and her reasoning that, even with her hand inside his trousers, he was still wearing them, had finally won him over. And by now, he certainly didn’t mind anymore anyway.

With a low groan, he gave in to her touch and let his head drop back into the straw, eyes closed. Freya, she loved doing this, all of it. Feeling him in her hand, hot and pulsing, was an incredible sensation, but seeing just how much Hiccup enjoyed her touch was something else altogether. She could have done this all night, but as so often, he eventually stopped her.

Without saying a word, Hiccup reached for her hand, and gently pushed her down into the straw. His kisses were surprisingly soft and sweet, despite the intense fire burning in his eyes. Astrid would have liked to go on, to make him come with her own hand, but she also didn’t mind as he blanketed her with his body, his hand wandering beneath her skirts. With maddening slowness, he stroked the pleasant warmth inside her into a raging fire, grinding into her until it consumed them both.

“And good evening to you too, milady,” Hiccup murmured into her hair as they both floated down back to reality. His voice was soft, thick with longing and love. “I’m glad to see you in a more cheerful mood. I reckon the party was to your liking then?”

Sighing contentedly, Astrid snuggled deeper into Hiccup’s warm embrace, amused by how, once again, they hadn’t gotten around to talk before. “Yeah, it was okay,” she hummed. “Better than expected. It was great to see Snot again after so long. He really hasn’t changed a bit. And Eret once again turned the occasion into some kind of ball. Uncle Spite wasn’t happy about the breach of decorum, I think. But Father didn’t seem to mind, even smiled when he saw how much fun we had, so Uncle Spite couldn’t really say anything.”

“Yeah, that does sound like fun,” Hiccup chuckled, then sighed. “I just wish…”

“...that you could’ve been there as well?” she continued when he didn’t, and Hiccup nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

Hiccup shifted and, leaning over her, placed a soft kiss to her cheek. “One day, we will dance together,” he promised, murmuring against her skin. “I’ll come to you, open and for everyone to see, and ask you for a dance. Maybe they would stare and wonder, but it won’t matter. There will be only you and me. Forever.”

Astrid chuckled at his mellow words, even as the picture they painted was a beautiful one. “What makes you think you’ll be the on to ask?” she replied, and turned her head to seek his skin with her lips. “Maybe it’ll be ladies’ choice. I’d walk along the line of waiting men, not seeing any of them, only you…” she trailed off, humming against Hiccup’s lips as he kissed her.

“One day,” he murmured again.

Astrid pressed herself closer to his warmth, and nodded. One day they would be able to dance like that. She could hardly wait. But until then, they would still have to wait two long years, maybe even longer. And most of the time would stretch out endlessly.

“Oh, right,” she exclaimed when that thought stirred another one. “Eret suggested I should come and visit you.”

Hiccup seemed to need a moment before the words fully sank in. Then he pushed himself up in a halfway-sitting position. “What?” he exclaimed. “Did… did you tell him after all?” There was disbelieve on his face, but Astrid directly shook her head.

“No, of course not. I just… well, he asked what was upsetting me, and I told him that I'm sad you're all leaving so soon.”

Hiccup nodded, frowning, and Astrid suppressed a sigh. She knew that Hiccup thought letting at least Eret in on their secret would be beneficial. And maybe he was right, maybe Eret wouldn't tell on them. But even if he didn't – what good would it do them? She remembered Eret’s promise from earlier that night; how he would take care of whatever bothered her and how she’d instantly thought that he would never be able to keep that promise. As important as he might be, he still held no real power, just like herself. He couldn’t change his House’s plans so that he and Hiccup would stay here longer, nor could he gift Hiccup land and title. All telling him about her and Hiccup would do would be forcing him to lie for them.

“So, what did he mean about you visiting?” Hiccup eventually asked.

Astrid turned in his embrace so that she was able to look at him. “He suggested I should come for his sister’s wedding. Stay a couple of weeks.” She chuckled lightly. “It would still be a while until then, but it would at least be something?”

Hiccup nodded, hope gleaming in his eyes. “It would. Certainly better than not seeing you at all until next fall. I mean, sure, Eret and I are going to stop here before we head for Westhill and on our way back as well. But those would only be a couple of days at best.”

The prospect of those weeks in Eastervale helped soothe both their minds. The separation was still looming over them like a sword, but at least the burden was lighter now.

For a while, they settled for comfortable cuddles and soft caresses, both basking in each other’s presence. The day had been a long one with the hours here at the stables in the morning, getting ready for the accolade, and the festivities themselves. But even though she was tired, Astrid didn’t want to sleep. Not yet. Too precious were these last nights she could spend with Hiccup to waste them. Instead, she stirred as her mind threatened to drift off after all, and sat up.

“So, where did you store that book we were looking at earlier?”

Hiccup looked up at her, with only one eye open but his lips were stretched into a tiny smirk. “Really? That’s what you want to do now? Look some more at those pictures?”

She shrugged, managing something like an innocent but curious smile, and Hiccup laughed. They settled much like they had this morning, Astrid’s back against Hiccup’s chest and him looking down at the book in her lap over her shoulder. And despite Hiccup being far more relaxed than he had been earlier, she could still feel him stir again behind her after a while.

“Dear, Freya… I never thought you’d be that interested in looking at such pictures,” Hiccup muttered against her shoulder at some point, his fingers around her hips flexing.

Astrid giggled. “You don’t seem to mind them either. Although, I’m mostly curious. I never knew there were so many… options. I mean, I already knew about this–” she pointed at a drawing of a woman riding a man, ”–but this one looks a bit odd,” she commented the next, showing the woman on her hands and knees with the man kneeling behind her. “I can’t imagine that to be very comfortable.”

“It’s not supposed to be comfortable, exactly,” Hiccup murmured. “But it’s certainly not bad either. It’s actually a good position, you– the woman is supposed to feel more that way.”

Leaning back against him, she hummed. “Mmh, can’t wait until we can try all these.”

Hiccup chuckled, breathlessly. “Yeah, me neither.”

They flipped on through the pages, commenting on every single one. Astrid enjoyed winding Hiccup up a little. She understood his caution, she really did. But, Freya, she didn’t want to wait two more years. She wanted it all, now. She might be sensible enough not to push for it, but she could still dream.

“Huh… what’s this?” she asked when they reached a drawing where the man’s head was hardly visible, hidden between the woman’s legs.  

Behind her, Hiccup whimpered, his face pressed into the crook between her neck and her shoulder.

“Hiccup?”

“I’m okay,” he mumbled. “It’s just… Gods, I’m dying to do this with you.”

Astrid glanced back at the page, giving it a closer look. But no matter how hard she tried, it didn’t make much sense to her. “What… is it?”

Hiccup, noticeably pulling himself together, swallowed. “It… it’s going down on you with my mouth. Making you come with my lips and tongue, licking and sucking and… and tasting you…” He broke off, his fingers on her waist almost bruising.

Astrid felt heat rise to her cheeks. She loved how his mouth felt on her skin, her neck and her breasts especially. But the idea of feeling him there…

“Why don’t you?” she asked, voice trembling slightly. “It wouldn’t… break any rules, would it?”

Slowly, he shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t,” he affirmed, slowly. “It’s just that… I don’t know. It’s something different, special in a way. Or it feels that way to me, at least. And, well... I wanted to keep that for our wedding night.” He chuckled, sounding a little embarrassed.

Another kind of fire rose inside her at his words, not the heat of desire like before but more the comfortable warmth of love. Their wedding… Gods, if only they’d reached that day already.

The next page showed a reverse of the previous, the woman with her head between the man’s legs. But upon her question whether she could try this in return, Hiccup merely chuckled. She probably could… but he’d rather she be more experienced all over before she tried this. They moved on through more intriguing-looking pictures, one even seeming to be a combination of those other two, until they reach one that made Astrid laugh.

“Oh, look. They got it wrong there,” she snickered. Sure, she hardly knew anything about sex herself, but even she knew that that wasn’t supposed to go in there.

Hiccup choked on a suppressed laughter. “Actually, no, that’s exactly how they mean it,” he commented rather cheerfully. Astrid turned to give him an incredulous look, but Hiccup just shrugged. “Hey, it’s possible, obviously.”

“But…” she sputtered. “But that’s…” She glanced back at the page, checking whether she’d gotten it right.

“It’s actually not that much different,” Hiccup explained in a calmer tone, his smile still audible though. “I mean, of course, it doesn’t feel the same. But it can still feel really good too; mostly for men but for women too. It’s actually what Eret and Dagur do all the time, or how did you imagine they do it?”

“I…” Astrid began, frowning, but didn’t continue. She actually hadn’t thought about that technicality so far. But of course, it made sense. She leaned down to study the picture closer, thinking.

“We could do this… couldn’t we?”

Behind her, Hiccup instantly sobered up, stiffening. “Astrid,” he began, but she interrupted him directly.

“No, listen. From how I understand, this wouldn’t break my maidenhead, right?”

Hiccup nodded, reluctantly. “Right, but–”

“And it also couldn’t get me pregnant, right?”

“Yes, but–”

“No but,” Astrid interrupted him again, excited now. “We could do this, couldn’t we? Before you have to leave? Just once?” She’d turned around to fully look at Hiccup now, a strange hope flaring up inside her. She couldn’t even say why this was so important to her all of a sudden. But from one moment to the other, the longing to just be that close to him before they had to part, just once, became overwhelming.

But Hiccup was unyielding. “Astrid, this is madness,” he tried to dissuade her. “Anal sex… that’s not the best thing to start with. Besides, I don’t know nearly enough about it, only did it a couple of times. I-I wouldn’t know what I need to do in order to not hurt your, or–”

“Then you can ask Cami when you go see her tomorrow,” Astrid suggested, brushing all his concerns aside. She was hooked now. “And I trust you. You won’t hurt me,” she added, then paused when something else occurred to her. “Unless… unless you don’t want to do it?”

Hiccup had seemed more and more troubled, but at her last words, his frown broke into a soft smile. “Of course I want to,” he assured her. “I just want to do it right, you know? I don’t want to rush anything, and this,” he paused, gulping. “This feels like… cheating, you know? And...”

For a moment, his eyes glazed over a little, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. It was just for the blink of an eye, but it told Astrid enough. Yes, he was more than interested, only his sense of responsibility holding him back. She shifted closer, idly entangling her fingers with his. “Look, I understand. But can we at least consider it? Not for right now. But can we at least give it a try? Can you ask Cami about it tomorrow; what she thinks about it, what you’d need to know. And then we decide?”

At first, Hiccup still hesitated. But then he gave in, to his own curiosity and her eagerness alike. “Okay. I’ll talk to Cami about it tomorrow. But no promises, okay? If she says that it’s not a good idea for whatever reason, then that’s it, all right?”

Astrid pouted, but agreed. From the few times they’d met by now on various occasions, she knew that Cami was anything but prudish. She certainly wouldn’t be all that reluctant… or if she was then probably for a good reason.

. o O o .

Ah, yes... Astrid really is quite thirsty, isn't she? But let's be honest, who can blame her?

So, the last months have been easier for Hiccup and Astrid than they'd thought. But will that be true for the coming months as well? What will the future bring?

As always, I'm looking forward to hearing what you think :)

Next chapter

#FTLOAP #for the love of a princess #Hiccstrid #fanfiction #Hiccup and Astrid #fluff #lemon #medieval au #Royalty AU #httyd

[onwardintolight]

Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue

~~~

Warnings for Chapter 24: Brief reference to the torture and attempted sexual assault that occurred in Chapter 19

Author’s note from 1/2020: An important disclaimer: As I wrote this fic, I strove to make it canon-compliant—at least compliant with the canon that existed at the time. Now that I'm posting this, however, a few things have changed; notably, we've seen the release of the first issue of the new line of Star Wars comics set after ESB. While I haven't had a chance to read it yet, I'm pretty sure it diverges from what I've written in my final two chapters, and I have no desire to change any of what I've written to fit it. I know most of you don't even care about canon—this IS fanfiction after all—but I just wanted to give you and all future readers a heads up anyway!

One last thing: Several of you have asked me if I'm planning on writing a Leia-focused fic like this one about ROTJ. First of all, I'm super flattered that you'd like more! Tbh though I don't really see myself writing it as another big multichapter; however, I would really like to do a few shorter fics about it. So keep an eye out for those! That being said, things can always change. If I discover that there's an arc I really want to tell through the whole story, I may find myself in over my head again ;) 

~~~

The Kaliida Nebula was about six hours away, not counting the brief stops they’d have to make every few hours to switch hyperlanes. Lando had once again joined Chewbacca at the Falcon’s helm; they had both insisted in no uncertain terms that Luke and Leia get some rest, promising they’d comm if they needed anything. She was tired enough not to argue.

Immediately after the jump to hyperspace, Luke had sat frozen, staring out the viewport into the whirling star tunnels. He’d glanced at her when she offered him a hand, looking for all the universe as if she were his only tether away from the maw. Silently, he’d let her help him back to the crew quarters, and once more she shakily attached the fluids line and pulled a blanket over him.

He was gazing up at her again, now, eyes wide and hollow. “Leia,” he whispered.

Tenderly, she brushed the hair from his forehead and reached down to clasp his remaining hand, squeezing it. She perched on the edge of his bunk. “I’m here,” she said softly. “You’re safe now.” Slowly, his eyelids began to flutter, and he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

She sat there for a long time, weariness bleeding into her bones, listening as his breathing grew deeper. Finally, when she was fairly certain her movement would not wake him, she slipped her hand carefully out of his, turned out the light, and walked over to her bunk, curling up on top of it without bothering to remove the blanket.

The pillow smelled like Han.

She thought of him laying there next to her, his fingers tangled in her hair. She thought of the hungry kisses she had never wanted to end. She thought of easy laughter and healing tears, of potent words and new openings.

She thought of the bed on Cloud City, and how they’d never have the chance now to find out if she’d regret it. She thought of his rending screams, of coils and needles and agonizing pain. Of Captain Orffa’s leers, her ripped shirt, his broken neck as he lay on the other side of the room. Of Vader’s hated mask, cold and merciless. Of throbbing rage. Of helpless grief.

Of finally saying “I love you.” Of the one she loved, turned to stone and torn away.

All the emotions she’d been trying to hold at bay rushed in. Her defenses crumpled, and the first tears came in like a flood, violent and inevitable. Burying her face in the pillow to muffle the sound, she wept, her body shaking with sobs. She wept until every breath came as a gasp; until she could no longer imagine what it was to not be weeping. She wept for Han, and for Alderaan, and for every loss in between. For a galaxy full of loss, cracked all the way through with the cruelty of it.

Long after her tears ran dry, she lay there, face still buried in the pillow—Han’s pillow—breathing in the scent of him. She wasn’t ready to let him go.

She wouldn’t let him go.

She would find him, somehow.

Slowly, exhaustion crept up on her, disarming her resistance just as her tears had done earlier. She gave into it with a mild sense of relief, letting her eyes close.

I don’t regret it, she thought as she began to drift off. Sleepy astonishment at the realization gave way to the certainty that she had always known this, somehow, despite her fears. I don’t regret loving him. Not one bit. As much as this hurt—and oh, how it hurt—she would gladly love him and lose him again.

Then sleep took her, carrying her far away into blessed nothingness.

~~~

She was woken up what felt like minutes later by the chime of her comm.

Lando’s voice was on the other end. “We’ve stopped at Terminus,” he said. “We need you up here to watch for Imperials while we search the ship for homing beacons. We’ve got her pretty well hidden behind a moon, but it’s a race against time until they find us.”

Trying to keep any bitterness out of her voice, she gave her consent and stumbled groggily toward the cockpit. Lando gave her a look when she arrived—she must have looked like hell, with red-rimmed eyes and smeared makeup—but to his credit he didn’t say anything, only giving her a nod on the way out. Chewie was already gone. She moved to sit in the co-pilot’s seat, but changed her mind halfway there, instead opting for the captain’s. Curling her legs beneath her, she leaned back into it, smelling its faded leather and a hint of old cologne. She scanned the starfield carefully, glancing at the sensor displays afterward for any signs she might have missed. There was nothing; only stars. On the other side of the moon, she knew, the sky would be filled with ships of all kinds. Terminus was a busy world; she hoped that, as such, it would distract the Empire long enough that they wouldn’t find the Falcon.

She shifted in her seat, anxious. Finding the homing beacon would likely take Chewie and Lando awhile—they had to suit up to examine the hull, after all—but she wished they would hurry and be done with it. Normally, this would have been made a much easier exercise by simply scanning the hull via the ship’s sensors, but the Empire had certainly disabled that function. Or rather, they probably just hadn’t bothered to fix it—it was, after all, one of the sensor systems that had been damaged during their escape from Hoth.

The minutes ticked by. Fifteen minutes passed, then half an hour. A light freighter moved into view. She stiffened, then relaxed again as it jumped to hyperspace moments later.

Forty-five minutes. Her eyelids drooped; she pinched her arm to stay awake.

Finally, she heard the door open behind her, and Chewie came in with a roar. «We found it,» he said. He was triumphant, but his voice was laced with sorrow. She knew enough of him now to hear it. She caught his gaze, and he sat down next to her. For a minute, they looked out on the emptiness together. «You should go back to bed, Little Princess,» he finally said, his voice gentle.

“You sure you don’t need sleep?” she whispered.

«I will,» he said, «but I have strength left to spare, and I was not hurt as badly as you. Go sleep.» She nodded and got up just as Lando came through the door. She didn’t look at him as they exchanged places. Hazily, she walked back to the crew quarters, fell in her bunk, and was once more lost in unconsciousness.

~~~

Leia’s eyes flickered open. How long had her comm been beeping? Yawning, she sat up, flipping on the light over her bunk, and froze as all the memories of the previous day flooded back in. The deep ache in her chest nearly knocked her over, and she fought off the urge to lay back down and forget everything again.

Luke. She had to make sure he was okay. She glanced over towards the other side of the room; there he lay, as still as a stone. Alarmed, she leapt out of bed and lurched over to check on him. His chest rose and fell, and she sighed in relief. He was in a deep sleep. That was good.

Feeling her heartbeat calm again, she sat back down on her bunk and answered her comlink. “Yes?” she croaked, her voice hoarse.

“Just wanted to let you know we’ve arrived at the Kaliida Nebula,” said Lando. “Whenever you’re able, I’ll let you take over and see if you can reach that contact of yours. Could use a little shut-eye myself.”

“Of course,” she said curtly. “I’ll be right there.”

When she arrived, Chewie was once again nowhere in sight. She felt a pang in her chest, thinking of his grief. At least, she thought, he was getting some sleep, too.

Lando nodded awkwardly to her as they switched places again and left without a word. For a minute, she stared at the glowing pink clouds outside the viewport. She knew he’d be just a comm away, but still, she was nervous. The nebula could be perilous. From time to time, it was home to migrating neebray mantas, which could do some serious damage to ships. Moreover, if the Empire had somehow found out about this checkpoint—

She felt her throat constricting and her heart pounding, and she stopped the thought short. Yes, the Empire had caught up with them a few too many times recently—she had good reason to be fearful of that. But she should be wary, not paranoid. This was the best chance they had to make contact with the Alliance. Straightening, she set a Rebel-coded message to broadcast at intervals to the surrounding parts of the nebula, then she took the Falcon on a leisurely tour through the cloud tunnels.

An hour later, she had a reply. It was also in Alliance code, and it gave her coordinates to meet nearby. She tensed. The Empire could have cracked that code since she was gone, they could have found out about this location, they could have—

She forced herself to breathe slowly. “Chewie,” she said into the comlink, “I’m making contact. I may need backup if it’s not who I think it is.”

The Wookiee yawned, but he didn’t hesitate. «I’m coming,» he said.

Soon both he and Lando joined her again in the cockpit. She felt bad that they’d only had an hour of sleep, but she supposed there was nothing to be done.

Well, mostly bad. She didn’t feel all that bad about Lando. As far as she was concerned, he could suffer. He sat behind her, keeping watch as she and Chewie maneuvered the ship to the meeting point.

Finally, the clouds in front of them parted, revealing an X-wing.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” the pilot whooped upon seeing their ship. “I was starting to think I’d never see that hunk of junk again! Is the princess there?”

Leia breathed a sigh of relief. “Hi, Wedge,” she said, transmitting the codes to confirm it was her.

“Good to hear your voice, Princess,” he said. “High command’s been going out of their minds. They figured if you survived, you’d make your way here. Lucky you found me now; they were beginning to think it was a lost cause. We probably wouldn’t have been patrolling out here much longer.”

“Thanks for waiting,” she said.

“Where’s ol’ Han?”

All the words seemed to dry up in her mouth, and she sat silent for a moment. “He’s gone,” she said finally, her voice quiet. Chewie let out a mournful wail.

She heard Wedge exhale. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice full of genuine grief. “Sending you the jump coordinates now.”

Within a few minutes, they’d left the bright clouds of the Kaliida Nebula behind and were headed home. It wasn’t truly home, of course—Home was Alderaan, and that was gone forever. These days, though, the Alliance had become the only home she could claim to have. But whatever familiarity it offered, it would be empty without Han.

“Hey,” Lando said from behind her, startling her. She didn’t turn around. “Chewie ’n I have been talking and…” he faltered for a moment, then he went on. “…We’re gonna find Han and bring him back. We’ll leave for Tatooine as soon as we can get fueled and ready.”

She leaned back in her seat. “You got a plan?”

Chewie responded. «We have some ideas, yes, but we wanted to talk with you and Luke and hear yours, too.»

Leia nodded slowly. “We’ll discuss it when we get there, after the briefings. I don’t want to put too much strain on Luke before then. He doesn’t even know what happened yet.”

“Sure thing,” said Lando.

She clenched her teeth to avoid telling him to shut up. Instead, she shifted her focus outside, watching the whirlwind starlight.

Somewhere out there, Han was trapped, but alive. And somehow, they would find him and bring him home.

A warmth grew inside her chest; the fire of hope.

#can't believe there's only one more chapter left! #Han x Leia #HanLeia #Han x Leia fic #HanLeia fic #Leia Organa #Leia fic #esb #esb fic #star wars fic #star wars fanfic #sw fic #sw fanfic #Star Wars #The Opening #my fic #Luke Skywalker #Han Solo #Chewbacca #Lando Calrissian #my fanfic #my writing #thoughts