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#just wanted to gif this because this moment was very personal to me
b14augrana · 1 day
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Hello , can I request barca x teen reader who loves to play prank and is the Clown of the team but is a very good player and Ballon d'or potential
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‘The Fool’
Beyond the jester of a girl that taunts her Barcelona teammates with endless pranks is a world class player that shines on the pitch
Barça Femení x teen!reader
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masterlist
Warnings: ✖️
A/N: thank you anon for the request! this is kinda messy and a bit short but i think it does the job. im sorry this took so long for me to write, i hope you like it 💝💝
“(Y/N), hijo de puta!” Mapi screams, looking up to see your head sticking out over the top of the shower cubicle, pouring shampoo on her head. For the last 10 minutes, she’s furiously been trying to wash all the shampoo out of her hair, but it just isn’t coming out. Now she realises why.
Mapi grumbles and finally rinses the last of the shampoo out of her hair, cursing you under her breath with the slightest of smiles. You skid out of the locker room, abandoning the shampoo bottle and laughing to yourself in the halls. You can hear Patri’s laughter ringing from the showers as well, and it makes you smile.
Clowning around is your love language… in a way. It’s your form of putting time and energy into something special. To you, laughter is something special, and if you didn’t love your teammates, you wouldn’t be trying so hard to give them something to enjoy.
It’s your natural personality. You’re unserious, always joking around and having fun, and it is only normal for someone your age. As a teenager, all you want to do is have fun while doing what you love most; playing football.
You‘re damn good at both of those things.
El Clásicos are your favourite matchups. Every season, you look forward to it. Since you bleed blaugrana in every shape and form, you feel like it’s your duty to give the Real Madrid back line something to worry about. You want to be the one to sort them out… for the 16th time. Literally.
When you aren’t troubling your teammates with tricks, you’re troubling defenders.
It‘s kinda your thing.
One through ball from Aitana is all it takes. Your legs feel detached from your body, your strikes at the ground uprooting the grass wherever you step.
And the open space ahead is basically beckoning you in to occupy the green void, which you do.
The space beyond is as much of a blessing to you as it is a curse to the likes of Rocio and Andres.
Rocio and Andres should’ve learnt by now that their old school habit of holding you off will never work. You aren’t being stalled, you’re being invited in. The more you threaten them with small feints and sharp movements that make them twitch, the closer they draw you in to the goal until…
That satisfying swish of the net follows the sound of your foot making hard contact with the ball.
Rocio and Andres should’ve learnt by now that their old school habit of holding you off will never work.
You’re good at your position. You take your game seriously. That’s what surprises everyone the most.
Off the field, you’re regarded as ‘el embaucadora’, the trickster. You’re always pulling pranks, making jokes, finding fun in everything or making it yourself.
Even on the field, you’re no less of a trickster, but it’s less of the pranks and more of your deceptive play style and ability to make defenders dance.
When you play, you perform. To you, any pitch lit up by lights is a place in which your playing becomes poetry with the opportunity to engrave itself in the essence of the stadium, becoming your legacy.
The whistle blows, and you’re off again. The ball finds you again and it feels so right at your feet that every moment feels like you’re on autopilot.
And it finds the goal too fast for you to enjoy, because before you know it you’re walking off the pitch feeling uncomfortably sweaty beyond the swell of victory in your heart.
Alexia looks at you from a distance, the hints of a smile visible on her face, because she knows where hypnotising flair like yours gets you.
Somewhere in France, perhaps?
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Killing Wanda
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Summary: You, Nat and Yelena are successful assassins, damn good at your jobs but there was one woman you couldn’t stay away from, and when you get a job that tells you to kill her, well you needed to be around Wanda all the time now, and she wasn’t getting away from you, no one would get on your way to have her
Words: a lot, like over 3,000 I think
Warnings: Minors DNI 18+ suggestive themes, swearing and adult themes
A/n: God I’m on fire with releasing fics, hopefully my writing drought is over now and I’ll be writing more now
Also this is long so I’m hoping there’s no mistakes but if there is I’m sorry
The door was open when Wanda came downstairs and she started to panic, she closed the door she was sure of it, what could have happened?
A noise from the kitchen broke Wanda out of her thoughts and she stepped quietly towards the kitchen where the noise was, finally seeing someone digging through the kitchen drawers “you really should learn to organise your utensils you know, it’s a mess in here, if you brought a woman home and she looked in here I don’t think she’d want to do the tongue tango with you would she? A disordered drawer isn’t impressive to people Wanda”
You had yet to turn around and face Wanda, content to keep sorting out the scrambled mess “Y/n why are you in my house?” Wanda whispered and you finally turned around smiling at the scared woman “oh my darling you look tired, have you been sleeping well?”
Wanda didn’t answer instead just moving around the table to sit down still holding your gaze “I’ll ask again, why are you in my house?”
You bit your lip holding in a laugh “oooooh we’re feeling grumpy tonight aren’t we? Maybe you need to relax, I can call Yelena to make us Mac n cheese and I’ll send Natasha to get some wine-
Wanda slammed her fist down on the table cutting you off “don’t fucking play with me Y/n, tell me why you’re here!”
While you were slightly caught off guard you pulled yourself together and reached for a dagger on your person and pointed it at Wanda giving her a warning “I wasn’t finished talking, you’re a grown woman and therefore should know better, it is very rude to do that detka” Wanda’s bravado flew out the window when you rounded the table and held your hand around her throat
“I am here because I was asked to be here, someone paid me a lot of money to kill you slowly and painfully, whoever you pissed off really wants you to suffer and I mean really suffer, the list of things they want me to do is endless”
You eased off the tension on her neck and lent forward kissing her cheek “I like your face, such a shame I have to cut it up, they want picture proof of your death”
Wanda was wavering she was scared, she knew what you did and she knew you did it damn well and left no trace “okay Y/n let’s just calm down, please tell me who put the hit out on me”
Your lips stayed close to her and moved towards her neck kissing her there smiling at the shaky breath she released “I can’t disclose client information Wanda, but it’s someone you know, and from how they speak, someone who’s seen your body in a way that I can only dream of and trust me I do dream of it”
You pushed Wanda gently into the counter leaning into her “how do you dream of me?”
“Oh? I dream of you in the filthiest and most depraved ways, none that I’m willing to discuss here of course but just know that I everytime I kill someone and their blood spills onto me I imagine it’s yours”
“That…that doesn’t sound very sexy”
You smirked letting your hand rest on her hip and the other next to her head “it is when I’m imagining I’m buried deep inside of you cutting up your pretty body-
“Y/n! Have you done yet? We are needed back” Yelena casually walked into the house disturbing your clearly romantic moment with Wanda “I’m in the middle of something Yel”
The blonde scoffed looking at Wanda “yes I can see, she looks terrified, or aroused maybe both”
You glanced down at Wanda “aroused, I can feel how wet she is- Wanda quickly pushed you away at that and you laughed “aw princess are you embarrassed? Its okay I’m glad my intimidation tactics get you this aroused”
Just then Natasha entered angry as ever “Davayte zhe teper'!” She didn’t care what was happening just that you three needed to leave before people started to turn up for them
“Yeah yeah whatever Nat we’re coming” you kissed Wanda on the nose leaving her speechless and still “lovely time we’ve had here princess but I’m needed elsewhere, enjoy your dinner and I’ll see you soon”
The trio left without another word and Wanda sank to the floor controlling her breathing “why is she obsessed with me”
**************************************************
“Why are you obsessed with Wanda?” Yelena poked at you while in the car “she’s hot” you said but the blonde just laughed “I’ve seen you with women you find “hot” and it wasn’t that with Wanda, I think you really like her and want to make babies”
You scrunched up your nose and slapped Yel on the arm “we’re two women idiot, and no matter how hard I’d try I don’t think I could get Wanda pregnant, but god I’d give it a damn good go”
You looked out of the car window admiring the views that Nat drove past, actually you didn’t recognise where you were, weren’t you going back to the house?
“Natty I don’t know if you hit your head back there but I don’t recognise where we are”
The redhead shrugged in the front seat “you need to lie low for a while, you’ve been too careless”
You scoffed “don’t be so fucking ridiculous Natalia I’m good at my job and I’ve never let any personal feelings affect it” you defended
Nat slammed on the breaks sending you near enough through the seat and beyond “fucking hell Nat are you on your period or something?”
“You know we don’t get our periods der'mo” Yelena piped up but you both ignored her “last week you spent 4 hours watching Wanda, you watched her eat dinner, watched her drink wine and then even watched her sleep with a man”
You rolled your eyes at that “yeah all of 4 minutes of that man basically humping poor Wanda and her faking an orgasm”
Yelena was intrigued “wait, how do you know she faked an orgasm?”
You patted poor young innocent Yelena on the back “oh my sweet little Yelena, it was in the way she only shuddered slightly when the man whispered he’s close and then immediately said she came afterwords, he left soon after then she picked out her favourite red vibrator placed it against her sweet-
“Stop! I’ve had enough Y/n let’s just go home and sleep okay, I’m sorry I was so angry but it’s been a rough day”
You kissed Nat on the cheek “it’s okay detka you’re our favourite little black widow, very spicy and dangerous”
Nat sighed and gave a small smile “okay let’s not get all mushy, just stay away from Wanda okay?”
You shrugged “well someone still gave a hit out on her, so I’ll have to see her sooner or later again”
*************************************************
You said you’d stay away from Wanda for a little bit but you couldn’t help it, you found yourself back at Wanda’s house waiting for her in her bedroom, an open window offered you a perfect entry to the room
Wanda jumped back when she entered her bedroom obviously not expecting you “Y/n what the fuck?!”
You smiled wide “hi Wanda, I’m sorry I couldn’t stay away, I still technically need to kill you you know”
Her face fell and she started to step back but you stopped her holding her wrist and pulling her close “don’t worry Wanda I don’t want to kill you yet, I want to enjoy you”
Wanda let herself be pulled into a hug, you wrapped both arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder “you’re so tense my love, did that man not make you cum again?”
Wanda pulled her head back looking at you “what do you mean?”
“I had to make sure you were being safe and when I saw that man humping you like a dog in heat it was heartbreaking, you deserve so much better”
Wanda pushed you away sitting on her bed with her head in her hands “I cannot believe you’ve been watching me have sex, that’s so fucking weird”
You shook your head sitting next to the redhead “no honey it’s not, I needed to watch you to make sure you were okay and as I said that man didn’t look after you, he didn’t treat you well enough, didn’t do any foreplay, didn’t even kiss you, how ridiculous!”
Wanda stood up from the bed and started pacing around the room “what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you obsessed me why do you watch me? And don’t say it’s because someone wants me dead, if you actually did your job I’d be dead already!”
Your eyes darkened, no one’s ever questioned your job before “I am successful in my work Wanda, I have never ever messed up a job and don’t you ever assume otherwise, I will kill you one day Wanda and when I do it’ll be so quick you won’t even realise until you’re stood in front god himself”
Wanda had backed up against the wall with you following her every step, you ended up pressed chest to chest with Wanda and loved every minute of it “well this is a nice position isn’t it?” You smiled, your demeanour changed from angry to soft way too quick for Wanda’s liking, but she was still slightly nervous
“Okay Y/n I’m sorry just, I’m just stressed that’s all”
“Stressed? Why is my pretty girl stressed?” You ran your fingers across her face and on her stress lines “don’t give yourself winkles my love, why are you stressed?”
Wanda sighed heavily giving in and just decided to tell you “the man-the one you’ve watched in my house, like a weirdo, he keeps texting me and stalking me at work, I didn’t call him back after the last time he came over and I think he’s mad about it”
You nodded along listening loosely while studying her face, she was gorgeous
“I see, he’s a bitch then, doesn’t deserve you, don’t worry Wanda I’ll deal with him” you pushed yourself away from Wanda who instantly missed your comfort surprisingly
“Wait where are you going?” She tried following you across the room to the door but you stopped her “I’ll be back later I promise”
“Are you going to hurt him?” She asked and you just smiled “I’ll be back pretty girl”
You left without another word and Wanda was sure she wouldn’t be hearing from Vision again.
********************************************
You decided to bring Yelena on your little trip, she was like a puppy, she needed to be taken out to kill at least 3 times a day or she’d starting biting the furniture and peeing on the carpet
“Are you sure this is okay? We’re assassins for hire not free killers”
“Not free killers? Didn’t you attack a guy because he tried touching that Kate girl?”
Yelena stopped in her tracks and widened her eyes “how do you know about that?!”
“You got drunk and told Nat and I when we were playing uno”
She rolled her eyes “anyway that was because she didn’t deserve to be treated like that”
“And that’s why I’m doing this for Wanda, she deserves better and that’s me clearly so by killing this guy I’m one step closer to that”
“Aren’t you meant to kill her?” You finally found the house you were looking for and saw the man with yet another woman he was sure to disappoint “I am but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun, plus there’s no time limit on the request so I can take my time”
You and Yelena stood outside the front door deciding on how to approach the situation “so, sneak in or knock the door down and start shooting?”
You only responded with pulling your gun out and shooting the lock and kicking the door open
“Daddy’s home!” You stormed through the house and held the surprised man at gunpoint
Yelena walked through the door following you “just full on craziness then, okay”
“What the hell are you doing in my house?! Who are you??!” The moustached man was scared and you could tell, he was trying to act tough though in front of his lady friend, it’s okay though she isn’t the one you were here for
“White widow can you take this lovely lady out of here and make sure she gets home safely Spasibo”
Yelena nodded and offered the lady her hand which she took “we are quite sorry about the intrusion, I hope you forgive us”
The lady nodded taking Yelena’s hand “okay” you were glad she wasn’t in the mood for an argument, you didn’t want to kill two people “thank you Miss”
When the two women left you looked back at Vision “so why do you think I’m here?” You asked casually while still pointing the gun at him
“How the hell should I know?? Who are you?!” He was stressed and it nearly made you laugh “you’ve tried sleeping with Wanda maximoff twice, and both times you’ve never made her cum, you don’t deserve her”
The man was perplexed, how the hell did you know what he did with Wanda “how do you know I’ve slept with Wanda, did she tell you? And why do you care??”
You stepped close enough to him to press the gun against his chest “Wanda belongs to me, and watching you try and pathetically fail to fuck her was horrendous, and then for her to tell me you’ve been stalking her, what a pathetic excuse of a man you are”
He tried moving away but your gun pressed harder into his chest “you’re crazy, I’m pretty sure Wanda doesn’t belong to you”
You smiled “she does, she doesn’t know it yet but she definitely belongs to me, and you being a prick is slowing that process down so I do apologise but I have to kill you”
His face went white, all bravado flown out of the window and it made you giddy, you loved when they got like this, all scared, some wet themselves too but you hated that, totally killed the mood when that happened
“You can’t kill me! The police will find you” he was scrambling
“Well it’s been 10 years and I’ve yet to be caught yet so I don’t believe they’ll catch me for this”
“Okay but the gun will make a loud sound and the neighbours will get suspicious!”
“I’ve got a silencer dipshit, as I said I’ve done it for 10 years, I’m no amateur”
You pulled the trigger refusing to let him continue, the bullet went straight through his heart killing him instantly, you didn’t waste time standing around admiring your work instead calling a clean up crew
“Bucky, follow my location and clean up quickly and quietly” you hung up and left the house heading back to Wanda like you promised, she was going to be so happy you were sure of it.
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ponytarot · 2 days
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pick a pony - what you need to know (tarot reading)
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pony 1
if you picked pony 1 , you may be consistently paranoid in your relationships/friendships , almost like someone is lying to you constantly ... even when this isn't really true . i can't say out right you are lying as well , but it feels like ... due to this constant paranoia ... you also hide things or explicitly try to act like something you're not ... this has an inverse effect . you lie and hide things because you're paranoid , which fuels the idea someone is also lying to you . be more open to share things about yourself , or be yourself in general . you will find your relationships to be much more meaningful and less anxiety inducing .
song - birds of a feather by billie eilish
pony 2
you may find yourself in a situation where you're able to get some legit payback ... a very heehheehe petty moment (genuinely the only way i can describe it) listen , i'm not gonna tell you what to do or how to do it ... because this petty moment seems acceptable ... but don't be shocked when you get a bad reaction . this person you're trolling a lil' is very upfront and aggressive , if you back down , they win . do you REALLY want them to win ? i think not (i know i don't) .
song - bullet with butterfly wings by the smashing pumpkins
pony 3
i've notice a lot of people , especially clients i have in-person , struggle with feeling they need to "act" a certain way . you may also struggle with this , maybe you're young , this is ok . fuck being judged ! i'm chronically afraid of being judged , i do tarot in a bible-belt small town ... and it was the best decision i've ever made . i get nasty looks and comments , i've been kicked out of places while being a vendor , JUST because of complaints of me being a tarot reader . FUCK THAT ! you will be judged regardless of what you do , why not do it while being happy ? you will be depressed , you will be sad , you will have poor reactions to big personality changes or sometimes just because people don't align with each other ... that's not your fault . if your only fault is being yourself ... whose really the problem ? because it's not you . be different every single day , experiment with yourself , and things you like . the only person who REALLY cares is YOU . that's ok . care a ton , care too much , care too little , it's who you are .
song - dont forget em' (remix) by consequence and kanye west
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justagalwhowrites · 17 hours
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Halcyon - Ch. 12: It Doesn’t Need to Mean Anything
You and Joel take Sarah to the concert. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 11, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Joel and Goldie are still morons. Also... mild smut 🫠 Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI
Length: 10.7K (no one look at me)
A/N: So much thanks to my beautiful bestie @dundienominee, official Swiftie Consultant for this chapter. She was integral to song selection and Eras Tour outfit choices because I am too casual of a fan to have the knowledge to do that well. Thank you thank you thank you for this and for always letting me bounce the angstiest shit off you, Bestie! Love you!!
AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter
You stopped sleeping over at Joel’s. 
The distance took more adjustment than you’d expected and it wasn’t something either of you had explicitly stated, it just felt… necessary. You were getting too close to Joel - not something you would have even considered possible, once upon a time - and you needed to pull back before you ended up wounded and alone like you’d been more than a decade earlier. 
He began separating from you that night, when his hand was still holding your face and your body was still tight against his. You kissed him until he pulled away - not wanting it to end - and when he finally broke the kiss, your faces stayed close together for a moment, close enough that your noses touched and you could see the reflection from the sparks of the fireworks in his eyes. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest, the heat of his palm at the small of your back, the roughness of the callus under his fingers at the nape of your neck. If someone had asked you, in that moment, where you were, you couldn’t have told them. 
And then a gunshot cracked through the air, making the both of you jump and shock away from each other. 
“Fuckin’ assholes,” Joel snapped, looking around as though there was anyone else around you at the water’s edge to blame. “Shit’s dangerous and there are still idiots who decide to shoot guns in the air just because the goddamn calendar changed, fuckin’ morons…” 
There were a few feet between you now and you were suddenly very aware of the fact that you were in pajama pants and a long sleeved t-shirt and your nipples were pricked from the cold and the kiss and probably visible through the thin cotton. You crossed your arms over your chest, hoping Joel hadn’t noticed. 
“At least we’re in the middle of nowhere,” you said. “Less chance of the bullet falling on a person…” 
“Still,” he muttered, crossing his arms too. “Makes me nervous. Dumbasses like that should have their guns taken away, don’t act right…” 
You tightened your jaw but nodded, still watching him. 
“Sorry,” he said. You weren’t sure why. “We should probably get back inside, though. Gotta get the kid to bed, she’s cranky if she don’t get enough sleep….” 
“Can’t have a cranky Sarah,” you smiled a little. 
Joel looked at you for a moment and, for a delusional second, you half expected him to kiss you again. Then, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his flannel pants and rocked back on his heels once before starting up the hill toward the house. For the first few steps, he walked to the side almost as much as he did forward, until there was a good five feet between the two of you. You ignored the pang of hurt inside your chest and gave him a tight smile as he held the back door open for you, finding Tommy and Sarah on their feet and yelling at the TV as they raced in Mario Kart. 
He sat as far from you as he could at breakfast the next morning, taking the spot beside Sarah and across from Tommy at the kitchen table and pressing himself against the wall in the hallway when you ran into him there and needed past, making sure your body didn’t so much as brush against his the rest of the holiday weekend. 
When you went back to normal life, it reminded you of the few days after Joel had accidentally seen your shirtless selfie: radio silence. 
This time, you refused to crack first. If he regretting kissing you, that was on him. It wasn’t like you’d begged him to. Hell, you hadn’t even asked him to. He’d offered - after kissing you out of the blue just the day before no less - and now he couldn’t even look at you. Or text you, apparently. 
But you were starting to get a few steps beyond anxious when you still hadn’t heard from him by Friday afternoon. You hadn’t spent a weekend without Joel since you’d found each other again. You weren’t really sure what to do with yourself if you weren’t with Joel. Even though there was definitely a book you should be writing, doing that when you weren’t sure where you stood with your best friend seemed impossible. 
Still determined to not be the first one to reach out but not willing to face the prospect of being alone in your house with your cat - and with the temptation to call your almost ex-husband who actually had texted you since you’d last seen him - you got on Tinder. 
You swiped during a break between classes after triple checking that your age parameters wouldn’t catch any students, largely striking out until you found Stephen’s profile. He was a professor, too, but at Austin Community College. There was a picture of him in Napa Valley in his profile and one of him with a little girl (one he said was his niece) sitting on his shoulders. You smiled at that. You didn’t think you’d ever have children - though, really, you wanted some - but there was something about knowing a man was good with kids… 
You swiped right and got the alert that it was a match. He’d already swiped on you. Your heart sped up a little. Maybe you weren’t completely undatable, after all. 
Stephen messaged you just a few minutes later. 
Hi! How’s your Friday? 
You were working on typing a reply when another message popped up. 
Not to be a creep but… are you really who you say you are? 
You frowned at your phone for a moment. 
Hi back! It’s alright for the first Friday of a new semester. How about you? And yes, the last time I checked. Why?
It took him a little longer to respond that time. 
Let me know if I’m failing on the creep front but I may be what you call a fan. 
You laughed once. 
A fan? 
A fan. Your writing is brilliant, I can’t help it. 
Well, I have good editors. 
I’m sure you do but editors only get you so far. Trust me, I teach the intro English classes, I know. 
You laughed again and the two of you messaged back and forth until you had to go teach your last class of the day. When you finished, you checked your phone before leaving the lecture hall and there was a message waiting for you. 
I hope this isn’t too fast but can I take you out tomorrow? I’m sure you already have plans but on the off chance you don’t… 
You smiled. 
No plans that don’t involve my cat. What did you have in mind? 
Stephen, as it happened, had plenty in mind.
After getting a drink and chatting for a bit, he took you to salsa dancing night, something you’d never had thought to do yourself in a million years. The music was loud, the room was crowded and the energy of it all made your skin pebble as you smiled. 
“C’mon,” he held his hand out to you. “Let’s dance.” 
“Oh, no,” you waved him off. “I can’t.” 
“I’ll show you,” he smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” 
He led you to a quiet corner of the dance floor and showed you the most basic steps and you let him guide you through it as you watched your feet and tried not to step on his toes. By the end, you were laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe and he was laughing, too, putting an arm around your shoulders and guiding you to a booth in the corner. 
Stephen got you a cocktail and settled in across from you, the two of you talking about the semester so far and books and your favorite places to travel. 
You were surprised to find that you were having… well, fun. You hadn’t really had fun out with someone who wasn’t Joel in so long the concept seemed almost foreign to you. And Stephen was smart, you had shared interests, he was sweet and funny and insightful. You liked him. 
But… he wasn’t Joel. 
That was the thought you were trying to shake when he left you alone at the table, excusing himself to the bathroom and to grab another round of drinks and you decided to check your phone. 
Gale had texted you, seeing if you wanted to get coffee. Like the last few texts he’d sent, you didn’t respond. You knew, if you did, you’d end up back in his bed and you’d never be able to move on from him, not really. Hell, you’d let yourself become the other woman while he carried on with your younger, prettier, thinner replacement, keeping her on his arm at every faculty event and book release he used to bring you to while fucking you on the side. A mistress to your own husband. Pathetic.
But the temptation to respond was still there. If there was one man besides Joel who’d been able to hold your attention, it was Gale. When you’d met him, you hadn’t been sure you’d ever recover from loving Joel. It seemed like he would be there, as some part of you, forever. And that was true, he never really left. It was more that you seemed to find room inside yourself to love someone who wasn’t Joel. You realized now that it hadn’t been able to love him as much as you did Joel - or even, really, in the same way - but you did love him. That, now that you were faced with the intensity of how Joel seemed to take hold of you, seemed miraculous. You didn’t expect to find that feeling again so easily.
You looked toward the bathrooms, where you knew Stephen had disappeared to. Stephen, the man who you had every reason to have feelings for, who had taken you out for a great date, who could be someone that could pull you out of this hideous pattern with Joel and Gale if you just gave him the chance. 
You sighed and closed your texts just as a new one came through, this one from Joel. 
Your heart stuttered. You hadn’t heard from him in so long that just seeing his name hit you hard. You glanced up. Stephen was just coming out of the men’s room and heading for the bar. 
You opened the text. 
This radio silence shit sucks. 
You scoffed a little. 
You started it. 
He responded immediately. 
You at home? Come over. Sarah’s about to go to bed, we can watch the next Curtis and Viper commentary in the marathon. 
Sorry, I can’t tonight. 
You looked up to the bar again, Stephen still waiting to talk to the bartender. By the time you looked back down at your phone, Joel had texted back. 
Why not? Puck will behave for a few hours, promise. 
You frowned. 
Believe it or not, I’m not home with my cat on a Saturday night. 
Bullshit.
Is not. I’m on a date, actually. I do have a life outside of you, you know. 
Stephen was just getting to the bar to order when your phone screen lit up, Joel sticking his tongue out at you taking over the whole of it as he called you. 
You sighed and answered it. 
“Hi.” 
“Who the fuck are you on a date with?” Joel demanded. “It had better not be fucking Brad…” 
“So good to hear from you,” you said. “How have you been for the past, I don’t know, WEEK.” 
“Five days. Answer the question, Goldie,” he said. “Are you out with your goddamn husband?” 
“No,” you rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see you. “I’m out with a guy named Stephen, he’s very nice actually…” 
“Who the fuck is Stephen?” 
“I met him on Tinder, thank you very much,” you said. 
“What?” Joel said and you could picture him leaning forward on his couch, his elbow on his knee. “Wait, when? I didn’t vet some fucker named Stephen…” 
“You don’t get to vet people when you don’t talk to me for a week,” you hissed into the phone, glancing at the bar to see Stephen paying for the drinks. “Besides, I don’t need you to review my damn dates like some kind of baby sitter…” 
“Five days. And you have shit taste in men,” he cut you off. “So yeah, you do.” 
“Yeah, well, when you ghost me…” 
“I didn’t fuckin’ ghost you!” 
“When you GHOST me for a week…” 
“Five days!” 
“…you don’t get to judge me for my life choices!” 
“I didn’t ghost you,” he snapped. “I thought we could both use a little space…” 
“Uh huh.” 
“And I didn’t think you’d do something stupid when I left you unsupervised for 30 goddamn seconds!” 
“OK this isn’t stupid,” you said. “He’s a nice guy, he’s an English professor who likes wine and has actually asked me questions about myself…” 
“Look at you go.” 
“Fuck off,” you said, watching as Stephen headed back to the table with drinks. “He’s coming back, I have to go.” 
“No, hold on…” 
“Bye!” 
You hung up and slapped the phone face down on the table with a little too much force as Stephen smiled, setting your cocktail in front of you. 
“If that’s a friend calling to get you out of this, I promise I won’t give you a hard time,” he said, a slightly teasing edge to his voice. 
“No,” you laughed. “Well, I mean, it is a friend but no, not calling to get me out of it. Just a friend with a history of just the worst timing and a total inability to read the room.”
“She sounds great,” he laughed back. 
You didn’t correct him on the gender, instead just laughing with him and taking a sip of your drink.
The two of you closed the bar down and went to Waffle House after, sitting on opposite sides of the booth so you could stretch out and put your feet up as you pushed your syrup soaked chocolate chip waffle around on your plate. 
“So,” you said as you watched Stephen from across the table. “Not to put a damper on things but… I feel like you should know that I’m not looking for anything too serious right now…” 
“Oh,” Stephen frowned a little. “Can… Can I ask why?” 
“My life is kind of complicated at the moment?” You said it more like a question, as though the difficulties were somehow negotiable. “My divorce isn’t finalized yet, my sister is pregnant and I’m her only support system, I have a book deadline later this year…” I can’t stop thinking about kissing my best friend. You didn’t say that. “I don’t feel like I can really be a great partner to anyone right now. But I would like someone I can have fun with when I can? If you’re OK with that?” 
He nodded slowly, looking at his mug of coffee for a moment. 
“Do you know how long it’s going to be complicated?” He asked. “Just… Cards on the table, I already really like you. I don’t want to get in over my head here.” 
“Another few months at least,” you said. “But not forever. At least, I hope not forever.” 
He nodded again, turning his mug slowly on the table and you watched as the handle went back and forth. 
“I can handle a few months,” he said eventually, looking over at you. 
You smiled a little, wishing that him saying that made your heart pick up the way it did when Joel touched you. 
“Good,” you said. “Me too.” 
When the two of you left the restaurant, he went to kiss you goodbye but you dodged it, kissing him on the cheek instead. By the time you were home, you had a flurry of texts from Joel, the last one demanding to know when you made it home safely. 
I’m home, you control freak. 
It was so late you didn’t expect a response but one came through anyway as you stood at your bathroom sink taking off your makeup. 
Glad you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. 
Why are you still up? Go to BED! 
I can’t sleep if I know you’re out there with some random! 
You rolled your eyes. 
Well now that you know no one has stuffed me in the trunk of their car… 
I’ll try to care less in the future. 
“Jesus,” you muttered to yourself as Joel texted again. 
Lunch tomorrow? 
Tomorrow Sunday or tomorrow Monday? You wrote. It’s after midnight.
Lunch Sunday, he said stop being a dick.
You laughed a little at that. At least things weren’t that different, even if you wished they were. 
Lunch the next day felt normal, even as Joel demanded to see Stephen’s Tinder profile and look at some of his messages. Most things went back to normal after that, too. Everything except for the sleepovers. 
But now that you were getting ready to leave for Dallas for the concert, you were nervous. You had one hotel room, a small suite the two of you had picked out together, one with two beds in the bedroom and a pull out sofa in the living room. When you were booking the trip, it made sense. Sarah could sleep in a bed with either of you or in the living room on her own and either way, you and Joel wouldn’t be beholden to the bedtime of an 11-year-old. It’s not like you needed space from each other then. 
Now, things felt different. It had been three months since you’d last shared a room with Joel. The casual intimacy that had existed between you had evaporated like mist and you wondered if it had always been a causal, ephemeral thing even when it had felt so grounding. 
At least, you thought, you’d have the separate beds. You’d booked the room before sharing a bed was quite so commonplace in your friendship. At least you wouldn’t need to be quite that close to him knowing how he felt about it. That was a comfort. 
And you were looking forward to some distance from your sister. Now that she was getting closer to her due date, you were together all the time. From lamaze classes to parenting seminars to going with her to AA and NA meetings as moral support, you were with Anna more now than you had been since the two of you were girls and it was summer vacation and you had nothing else to do. 
“I swear to God that one old mom thinks we’re a couple,” she snickered as the two of you got pancakes after a lamaze class one day. 
“What?” You gaped at her. “Ew!” 
“Oh, for sure,” she said, reaching over and stealing a piece of bacon off your plate. You glared at her and she shrugged. “What? I’m eating for two.” 
“Uh huh.” 
“But she definitely thinks we’re lesbians,” she continued. “She was giving me the stink eye before you came in today. I think she thinks you’re the scary one, by the way, because she definitely stopped when you got there.” 
“Jesus,” you shuddered. “Wrong on so many levels. One, you’re my baby sister and that’s just gross. Two, you are definitely the scary one.” 
“Oh, for sure,” Anna nodded seriously and then laughed. “Besides, if you were my girlfriend I definitely wouldn’t be letting you run off with some old flame for the weekend…” 
“Joel is not an old flame,” you rolled your eyes. 
“Sure,” she said in a teasing tone. “And Stephen is fine with this?” 
“Stephen doesn’t get a say in what I do,” you replied. “We’re just seeing each other now and then, he’s not my boyfriend.” 
“Whatever you say,” she said, giving you a look that you weren’t sure you wanted to deal with. 
You hadn’t told her about the kiss with Joel. You hadn’t told her about losing your virginity to Joel before you left for college, either. But somehow, she seemed to know. Your sister, for all the distance you’d forced and all the troubles she’d had, just knew. 
And that made you more nervous than you should have been for spending the weekend away. 
But you packed a bag - featuring a costume for the concert picked from your closet by Sarah - and headed for Joel’s, Puck in his little cat carrier on your passenger seat. 
“Aunt Goldie!” Sarah rocketed out of the house, her curls flying as she ran for your car. “It’s here! We’re really going!” 
“We are!” You said with a laugh, catching her as she threw herself at you. Joel followed behind her, getting your duffle from the back seat. 
“Did you remember your outfit?” She asked, pulling back and looking up at you with wide eyes. 
“I absolutely did,” you smiled at her before looking at her dad. “Hey Joel.” 
“Goldie,” he gave you a nod. “You ready for this?” 
“For a road trip with my favorite kid?” You asked. “Absolutely.” 
You got Puck settled at Joel’s - his neighbors, the Adlers, promising to look in on both cats while you were away - and got loaded into Joel’s truck, a bag of snacks and cooler of drinks sitting next to Sarah in the back seat. 
“We’re listening from the start of the discography,” she said, leaning forward and grabbing the input for her phone. “We need to make sure we know all the eras before we get there.” 
Joel looked like he was trying not to laugh. 
“Whatever you say, baby girl.” 
It was easy to fall into life with Sarah and Joel, even just for the few hours in the truck. Sarah dramatically performing into an imaginary microphone in the back seat, Joel reminding her to buckle back in every time she undid her seatbelt for a particularly big dance move. You stopped in West for pastries and chocolate milk and, by the time you pulled into the hotel on Friday evening, the three of you were a little hopped up on sugar and in desperate need of real food. 
“Oh this place is fancy,” Sarah said, a mocking and overwrought English accent on the last word as you looked around the lobby. 
“Well, needed a room with space for the three of us…” Joel said, voice trailing off as he looked for the check in counter before spotting it. “Don’t go wanderin’ off, alright? I’ll get us checked in, we can drop the bags and figure out something besides junk for dinner…” 
“But I like junk” Sarah said. 
“Yeah, I know you do,” he said before looking to you. “Keep her out of trouble, will you?” 
“Bold of you to assume she’d be the problem.” 
“Knew you’d be trouble,” he smirked a little before going to get in the check in line. 
You stuck close to Sarah, who was using the short wall of the lobby garden as a balance beam as she worked out the pent up energy from the hours spent in the car. 
“How many songs do you think she’ll sing?” Sarah asked after the spun on the end of the wall, her sneakers squeaking on the polished stone. 
“I dunno,” you said. “Probably a lot since the concert is a few hours long.” 
“I don’t want to see spoilers but my friends keep sending videos,” she said. “I haven’t watched any of them, I want to see it all in person.” 
She did a jump like she was imitating a gymnast, making you instinctively reach for her, trying to hide your hiss of fear as she landed smoothly on the narrow wall. She looked at your worried expression and laughed. 
“Please be careful,” you said as she started walking the wall again. “If you get yourself killed I’ll have to go through the hassle of selling these tickets online…” 
Sarah snorted. 
“You’d miss me,” she said, teasing. 
“That too,” you smiled a little before looking toward the check in counter. Joel was at the front now but he looked to be in deep conversation with the man behind the desk. You frowned. “Stay put, kiddo.” 
“Keep jumping on the wall, got it.” 
You shot Sarah a glare before heading for the desk. 
“No, that’s not going to work,” Joel was saying. “I booked the room I booked for a reason, I need two beds…” 
“I’m sorry, Mr. Miller,” the man said. “I’m afraid we’re completely full this weekend and this is the only room I can put you in…” 
“What’s happening?” You asked, eyebrows knitting together and looking between them. 
“They don’t have the room we picked,” Joel said, eyes darting quickly to you, almost like he was afraid to look at you. “They only have rooms with one bed…” 
“Wait, what?” You looked at the man behind the counter. “Seriously? We have a confirmation number, we…” 
“I know, and I apologize,” he said. “With the concerts, we’re booked solid this weekend and there must have been a mixup with an earlier check in. I can’t move someone who’s already checked in. I already looked at our sister property across town but they’re completely full, too…” 
Joel looked at you, his eyes a little wider than you were used to seeing them. Almost like he was going to panic at just the thought of sharing a bed with you. 
“We can make it work, right?” You said, watching him. “I mean… it’s not that bad, is it?” 
“Right,” Joel said. “Yeah, you’re right…” 
He turned back to the man. 
“I guess we’ll take it,” he said. “Three keys, please.” 
Your stomach knotted a little. You knew the situation was less than ideal, that the two of you had been actively avoiding that level of contact in the months since the new year, but it’s not as though you’d never shared a bed. Was kissing you really so bad that Joel was on the verge of a panic at the thought of sleeping next to you for two nights? 
Maybe it was. Maybe you hadn’t fully understood his level of disgust at it.
You weren’t stupid, after all. You knew what he thought about kissing you. And if you hadn’t already known, you knew for sure when you overheard him talking to Tommy about it. 
“It was a mistake,” he’d said when he thought you couldn’t hear. “It won’t happen again, I’m done doing stupid shit with her and then regretting it…” 
Being close to you - touching you - was stupid shit. Even under the guise of friendship it was stupid shit. That had stung. 
It shouldn’t have.
You’d known he felt that way, you had for years. It shouldn’t have made your chest tighten and your stomach turn the way it did. He’d made it clear - since the first time the two of you had ever done anything physical - that it was a mistake. You weren’t about to risk losing him by pressing it, no matter how much you wanted to scream that he was the one who kissed you, not the other way around.
But, you supposed, it didn’t really matter. If he didn’t want you that close to him, you weren’t about to force it on him. He was still happy enough to be your friend, even if he didn’t want to sleep next to you anymore. That was fine. You could live with that. And you could share a bed with him for a weekend without blurring that line again. 
Joel got the keys and you got Sarah from her makeshift balance beam before heading up to the room. He shifted his weight awkwardly from foot to foot on the elevator ride up and you tried to keep from grinding your teeth as Sarah bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet, shooting off like a rocket the second the doors opened. 
“Room 1521!” Joel called after her as she took off down the hall. “Jesus, I swear that kid has the energy to power a small city…” 
She beat you there and Joel handed her a key and Sarah did the honors of letting you into the room. 
“Oh cool!” She squealed, running in. “I get the couch bed right?” 
“Uh…” Joel’s eyes darted to you. 
“There’s a TV by it!” She ran to it. “Oh and the fridge is in this room! This one’s mine!” 
You just shrugged at him and he sighed. 
“Sure is, baby girl,” he said. “You wanna get changed before we go get something to eat?” 
“Nope!” She said, kicking off her shoes and jumping from couch cushion to couch cushion. “But if we get back early enough, can we go swimming?” 
“Sure,” Joel said. “Give me n’Goldie a minute and we’ll head out…” 
You gave Joel a tight smile and led the way to the bedroom. 
The bed, at least, was a king sized one, bigger than yours or Joel’s at home. You could keep to your separate sides of it well enough. 
“I’ll take the side by the door,” he said. You were about to protest - that was the right side of the bed and he always slept on the left - but kept your mouth shut. You didn’t have a side of the bed with Joel. Or, you shouldn’t, anyway. “Did you need to change?” 
“Just out of these leggings,” you said. “I only need a minute.” 
“Right,” he said. “I gotta use the bathroom anyway, so…” 
He stood there, awkward, for a moment before heading to the attached bathroom. You set your bag on the long, low dresser and unzipped it, rifling around for a moment until you found your jeans. You peeled off your leggings and folded them up, setting them beside your bag when your phone started vibrating in your jacket pocket. 
You frowned. You almost never got phone calls. You pulled your phone out and saw Anna’s ID picture and you answered quickly. 
“Anna?” You said, heart racing. “Is everything OK? Are you OK? Is the baby OK?” 
“What?” She asked. “Yeah, everything’s fine, why wouldn’t it be?” 
You relaxed a little. 
“You just don’t usually call,” you said. “What’s up?” 
“Oh,” she laughed. “Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean freak you out. I just got an email from the OBGYN, they need to move my scan next week, can you do Wednesday afternoon?” 
“Is Thursday an option?” You asked. “I have more afternoon classes on Wednesdays…” 
“You decent?” Joel called from the other side of the bathroom door. 
“Looks like they have Thursday,” Anna said. 
“Hang on!” You called to Joel, still standing there in your pale pink satin panties, before turning your attention back to Anna. “Thursday is better, just let me know a time and I can adjust some office hours.” 
“Great!” She said. “I’ll text you the details. Have fun at the concert!” 
You were about to say your goodbyes when the bathroom door opened and, suddenly, you were standing there in your underwear in front of your best friend. 
The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, Joel’s eyes wide and ranging over you as you stood, frozen with your phone clutched to the side of your head. 
“Sorry!” Joel said quickly, turning around as you scrambled to hang up the phone and cover yourself. 
“I said hang on!” You said, grabbing your jeans. Joel glanced back over his shoulder before whipping his head back around. 
“I thought you said come on!” He said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…” 
“It’s fine,” you said, jumping into the pants as quickly as you could, trying to wrestle the denim quickly over the swell of your ass before buttoning them. “There, you’re safe.” 
“Sorry,” he said again, turning around cautiously. As though you were a grenade that might explode if he caught a glimpse of your bared skin. “I wasn’t trying… I’m sorry.” 
“I said it’s fine,” you grabbed your purse. “Let’s get something besides junk food in Sarah otherwise I’m sure we’re going to pay for it later.” 
“Right,” he nodded. “Let’s go.” 
Joel was still tense next to you at dinner and you damn near chugged a glass of wine in the hopes it would help untie the knot in your stomach. 
Thankfully, you’d brought beer in the cooler from Austin and you grabbed two of them - putting the cans in koozies to cover the labels - when taking Sarah to the pool after dinner. The two of you sat and watched her play with other girls who, you assumed, were also in town for the concert. 
Joel relaxed a little then, just the two of you tucked into a corner of the hot tub with a beer in his hand. 
“Who knew I’d feel so old at 33,” he groaned a little, leaning his head back so it rested on the edge of the hot tub. “Just drove a few hours and I’m already wonderin’ how I’m gonna keep up with her tomorrow.” 
“We do have to keep her busy most of the day,” you smiled a little, watching as she lined up at the edge of the deep end of the pool next to three other girls. They jumped in one by one, each girl doing some kind of dramatic twist or funny hand gesture as they fell toward the water, shrieking and laughing as they came up for air. “It’s going to be a challenge.” 
“Thanks for doin’ this,” he said, tone more serious as he looked at you. “It really does mean a lot. We don’t have a lot of people, always felt like I’ve let her down by not having more. I’m glad she’s got someone else who cares about her, you know?” 
You smiled a little. 
“Of course I care about her,” you said. “She means the world to me. You both do.” 
His eyes traced your face and your heart beat a little faster in spite of yourself. 
“Hey Dad!” Sarah called, pulling you away from each other. “Aunt Goldie! Watch this!” 
“We’re watchin’!” Joel called back. 
Sarah looked to her new friend - a girl who looked to be about her age with red hair in a braid down her back - and they gave each other a nod before running for the edge of the pool and jumping for the water, the girls twisting in the air to slap each other’s hands before they splashed down. You laughed and clapped as they surfaced, Sarah beaming. 
“Looks great, baby girl,” Joel said. “But no runnin’ by the pool, just like at home. It’s not safe.” 
Sarah rolled her eyes as she swam to the side of the pool and going back to her new found friends. 
Things felt almost normal as the three of you headed back to the room, towels over your shoulders and a trail of water behind you in the elevators. Sarah settled quickly once you were back in the hotel room, Joel telling her she couldn’t have any more soda or juice after she brushed her teeth but he did let her pick a movie to put on the TV as she settled into the pull out couch, looking like she was getting away with something as she watched Legally Blonde from her bed. 
Joel stayed in the bathroom far longer than you thought he’d need to as you both got changed into pajamas. You’d seen him go through his nighttime routine enough times, you knew he was trying to make sure he didn’t accidentally see you in your panties again. 
You had, at least, planned ahead for sharing a room with Joel, packing a fairly conservative set of sleep shorts with a matching shirt and changing quickly so you could spare him the sight. You climbed in bed when you were done, staying as far on your side as you could reach, a book propped open on your knees. 
Joel knocked before opening the door, anyway, and you winced as you replied. 
“You’re safe,” you said. He still opened the door cautiously, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw you tucked below the covers. You smiled tightly at him as he climbed in bed beside you, his curls still damp from the pool. You tried not to just look at him - you shouldn’t want to just look at him, he was your friend - as he got settled and scrolled his phone for a moment before he looked toward you. 
“Want to watch a shitty movie?” 
“God, yes,” you said, putting your bookmark in. 
Joel laughed a little and turned the TV on, finding the Hallmark channel with some particularly insipid movie you didn’t need to know the plot of to keep up with, even coming in half way through. 
By the time it was over, the two of you had drifted closer on the bed, both of you a little breathless from laughter. You turned out the lights and lay down, more beside each other than against each other, and you stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying not to think about the fact that the warmth soaking into you came from Joel. 
“M’sorry about the room mix up,” he said quietly into the dark. “I hope it’s not… I don’t want you to feel weird.”
“I don’t,” you said quickly. “It’s fine.” 
“Good,” he said. “Because the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable…” 
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, either,” your voice dropped low enough that it was almost a whisper. 
“You don’t,” he said, almost as fast as you’d responded to him. 
“Good,” you said after a moment. “Goodnight, Joel.” 
“Night, Goldie.” 
***
Joel had a hard-on when he woke up. 
A goddamn boner pressed against his best friend’s ass, an ass he’d seen barely concealed by the softest looking fucking satin or silk or whatever the fuck women’s panties were made of, a sight he couldn’t seem to shake. Not that it was that different from seeing you in a swim suit but there was something about the intimacy of seeing you in a state of undress when he knew - or was pretty damn sure, anyway - that he was the only man who’d seen you that way in months. He liked that sight being reserved just for him. 
He needed to get the fuck over that. 
He was trying to. Really, truly, sincerely he was trying. He’d managed to get some distance from you - though that had helped less than he really expected. But he couldn’t bring himself to just cut you off. 
Even though that would probably be the smart thing to do. 
Clearly you didn’t feel for him the way he felt for you. He’d kissed you - twice - and you acted like it was nothing. Hell, you’d jumped on Tinder as soon as you got home from the cabin and found fucking Stephen. His stomach had twisted in on itself when he saw that text. Consciously, he knew you didn’t feel the same way he did but fuck, he’d hoped it would take you longer than a few days to do something like resort to Tinder after he kissed you. 
And now here he was, his dick against your ass as you slept tucked against him. He wondered what had done it. Had he dreamed about you and those pink little panties only to forget it when he woke? Had he just felt your body against him as you slept, all curved back into him and making your home against his torso with your legs all tucked up toward your stomach so the lush of your ass was nestled right against his cock? Had he just smelled your hair from where you’d moved in the night, the scent of you all close and beautiful driving him to a step beyond wanting? 
It didn’t really matter, he supposed. All that mattered now was making sure you didn’t know it happened. 
He adjusted himself delicately, his cock aching and leaky in the cotton of his pajama pants, rolling slowly onto his back and leaving the arm you were currently using as a pillow below your head. Joel tried to gently extract his arm, hoping he could make it to the bathroom and - after locking the doors - jerking off fast and hard to the memory of you in those little panties
No such luck. You stirred then, uncoiling yourself and stretching out with a satisfied little moan that seemed to have a direct line to his hard cock, making it twitch in the confines of his pants. 
“Morning,” you said, voice groggy as you adjusted, lifting off his arm and arching your back before relaxing down into the mattress. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cramp your space…” 
“S’fine,” Joel said quickly. The two of you lay in awkward quiet for a moment. “Should probably get movin’…” 
“Yup,” you said, getting up quickly. “Big day ahead of us.” 
The three of you got ready to go - Sarah already eager to get into her concert outfit and you had to talk her down - before heading to breakfast. Joel just watched you and Sarah talk about her favorite song lyrics over bacon and eggs and wondered how the hell he was supposed to move on from you when you were like this with his daughter. 
You went to the aquarium that day, you and Joel just hanging back as Sarah pressed her face against the glass at every exhibit, finding the fish she liked best and trying to learn everything she could about them. 
Joel found himself watching you almost as much as he watched his daughter, the streaks of refracted light from the water catching on your eyes and skin and hair.
“What?” You asked when you caught him, a puzzled smile on your face. 
“Nothin’,” he shrugged, looking toward the tank. 
“OK,” you laughed a little. “Weirdo.” 
“That’s me,” he smiled, shaking his head a bit. 
“Well, as long as you’re aware.” 
The three of you went back to the room with plenty of time to get ready and Sarah practically shoved Joel into the living room the second they were there. 
“You’re a boy,” she said before she closed the door. “We have a lot more to do than you.” 
There were a few seconds of quiet before the Taylor Swift started playing and Joel laughed a little, distracting himself with a phone game while you and his daughter gave each other makeovers in the bedroom. 
“Dad!” Sarah poked her head out a while later. 
He set the phone down. 
“Yes baby girl?” 
“Are you ready?” She said. “Because we have to do a fashion show.” 
“Fashion show it up, kiddo,” he said. “M’ready.” 
“OK, put New Romantics on,” she said. Joel frowned and she rolled her eyes. “We need a soundtrack, Dad, just do it!” 
“Alright, alright,” he said, going into Spotify and finding the song. “Ready when you are.” 
“Presenting the eras of Sarah and Goldie,” she said with dramatic flair before throwing the bedroom door open and jumping into the living room in a pink shirt covered in sequins and her white skort. Her hair was in two what she liked to call “space buns” on the top of her head, pink plastic hair ties holding them in place. Her springy curls were covered in glitter and she had on bright pink, sparkling eyeshadow and gem stones on her cheeks as she beamed, her arms over her head as she showed off her outfit. “I’m in my Lover era because it’s the best one, obviously.” 
“Obviously,” Joel tried to keep himself from laughing. “That’s a lot of glitter, kiddo.” 
“It’s a concert, Dad,” she rolled her eyes as you poked your head around the door to look into the living room and he caught a glimpse of your much darker makeup. 
“It’s just a spray,” you said. “It’s supposed to wash out pretty easy.” 
“No, don’t show yourself yet!” Sarah shoved you lightly back behind the door. “You have to do it all at once to get the full effect!” 
“Sorry!” You called and Joel heard the hint of a laugh on the edges of your voice. “You tell me when it’s OK to come out.” 
“Thank you,” Sarah said, turning back to Joel and striking a pose. “Lover is the best because it has the most pink AND it has Cruel Summer on it.” 
“Sure,” Joel nodded seriously even though he had no idea what she was talking about. “You look great, baby girl. Very pink.” 
She beamed. 
“And now, Aunt Goldie -” she stepped to the side of the doorway and threw her arms out with a flourish - “who is in her Reputation era!” 
Joel didn’t know what the fuck that meant, either. All he knew was that he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut as you stepped around the door, a sheepish look on your face as you turned in a slow circle to show off your entire outfit. You were in black jeans that hugged every curve of your legs, heeled black boots, a satiny shirt that was low cut enough that he could see a hint of the black lace bra below and a black leather jacket. Your eyes were dark and your lashes were long, your lips blazing red and all he could think about was how much he wanted to ruin that fucking lipstick. He was so busy staring at you like an idiot, he missed what Sarah was saying. 
“I’m sorry, kiddo, what was that?” He asked, not looking at Sarah. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off you. 
“She’s in her reputation era because it’s the most badass - sorry Dad - one,” she said. “And she’s definitely badass. Sorry.” 
“I tried to tell her that no, I’m definitely not,” you said. “But she wouldn’t listen.” 
“Nah, she’s right,” Joel said, hoping he didn’t look like too much of a fucking idiot as he stared at you. “You…” he tried to find some way to describe you that didn’t make him sound like a dumbass. “You look great.” 
You smiled a little. 
“Thanks,” you said. “And what are you wearing?” 
“Oh, right,” he said, getting up from the couch. “Sarah picked somethin’ for me too…” 
He ducked around you into the bedroom and resisted the urge to run his hand over your stomach to the curve of your waist and pull you against him. He changed his shoes into his cowboy boots and got his cowboy hat out from its place in his bag before emerging. 
“What era is this, baby girl?” He asked, his hands awkwardly shoved in the pockets of his jeans. 
“That’s the evermore era,” Sarah said knowingly. Joel frowned and she rolled her eyes. “Cowboy Like Me. Duh.”
Joel saw you press your lips together as you tried not to laugh. 
“Duh, yes,” Joel said. 
“Oh! And…” She scampered to her bag and opened the side pocket of her duffle, pulling out fistfuls of plastic beads. “Friendship bracelets!” 
She put a few on herself before holding clusters of them out to each of you. 
“You’re supposed to trade them with other people at the show! I made a bunch!” 
“Thank you!” You said sliding the cluster of them up your arm and turning them in the light. “I didn’t know concerts required so much prep work…” 
“We ready to go?” Joel asked. “I know parking’s gonna be a nightmare…” 
“Yeah!” Sarah damn near bounded toward the door. “Let’s go!” 
The concert was packed, awash with bright colors and excited squeals as the three of you settled in, Sarah immediately striking up a conversation with a girl about her age in a purple dress, trading bracelets with her. 
“Oh, right,” you said, leaning around Joel to see what Sarah was doing. You started looking over the mass of beads on your wrist and selecting one, passing it over to him. “This one seems good.” 
Joel took it, most of the beads letters that said Call It What You Want. He made a mental note to listen to the song at some point. He smiled a little, putting it on the wrist that didn’t have any bracelets yet so he wouldn’t accidentally give it away. 
“Thanks,” he said, looking at his own wrist until he found the one that made the most sense to him and handed it over before he could think better of it. “Here, in trade.” 
You smiled and took it before laughing a little. 
“You Belong With Me, huh?” You asked. He shrugged and you traced your thumb over the letters before sliding it on your wrist. “Thank you.” 
“Dad!” Sarah grabbed his arm and held up hers. “Look! She gave me her Lover one!”
“That’s great, baby girl,” he smiled at the glittery pastel beads, Sarah’s eyes wide and bright. 
It was impossible to not love how happy Sarah was here. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her smile quite so huge or seen her eyes quite so bright. It was like she was getting everything she had ever dreamed as she chattered away to every girl around them as they waited for the show to start. He drank it in, trying to make sure he remembered clearly, sharply how it felt to see her so happy. After a while, he looked to you to find you watching Sarah, too, a look on your face that was almost as happy as hers and you looked so beautiful he almost wasn’t tempted to look at the plush swell of your lace clad cleavage below your satin shirt. 
Almost. 
“What?” You laughed a little, gaze meeting his just as the lights dimmed. 
“Thank you,” he said. “For wanting to make her happy.” 
You just smiled gently before taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, Joel’s heart skipping a beat as everyone’s attention turned to the stage and cheered, the music starting. 
He didn’t pay much attention to the music during the concert, more interested in watching Sarah have fun and you indulging her, happily dancing along with her and clapping excitedly when she did. 
But there was one song in a slower section that he couldn’t help but notice. You’d been swaying along to the music and Joel had been appreciating the guitar when your head drifted over and rested on his shoulder. He froze for a moment, looking at you with the small smile on your red lips and your eyes all soft as you watched the stage and fuck he wanted to kiss you. He wanted to kiss you and he wanted it to be unlike every other time he kissed you, each of them full of driving want or couched in some pretense. Instead, he wanted to kiss you all soft and slow, gentle and earnest. He wanted to take his time and memorize the taste of you and the way your body felt when cradled against him just so. 
But he couldn’t do that so he tried to focus on the song but the lyrics cut him to the quick. 
One night he wakes
Strange look on his face
Pauses, then says
You're my best friend
And you knew what it was
He is in love
The words were striking in their familiarity, like they’d been written just for him. It was a moment he’d had a long time ago, almost 20 years back now, a lightning bolt that made him stare straight up at his ceiling in the middle of the night, right at the spot over his bed that had some Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition model poster tacked into the popcorn plaster. The model didn’t hold a candle to you and your slow building smiles and the way you grabbed his bicep for support when you laughed. 
Because he loved you. 
He’d never loved anything outside of his family before but he loved you. The realization swallowed him up, swift and devastating, because he knew - even at 16 he knew - that it would never work. You were too smart, you burned too bright, you wouldn’t have your feet glued to this place the way his were. You’d move on after high school and go change the world and he’d be able to read your name in the paper and say that he knew you once. 
Except he’d always assumed that, eventually, he’d move on. That he’d love something else, find some slice of that all encompassing feeling in another woman. He was just 16 then, after all. Who the fuck married someone they met in high school these days? He’d move on. 
But he didn’t. He’d just poured all the love he had into his daughter until he was struck by you again and realized that no, it hadn’t faded. He still loved you in a way he’d never loved anything else and in a way he didn’t think he’d ever love anything else again and he still knew - even at 33 he knew - that it wasn’t going to work. And he couldn’t risk pressing it, not when life was this much better just because you were close. 
But what was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to spend the rest of his life trying to pretend that he’d find someone else to feel this way about? Was he supposed to steep himself in this torturous proximity until he lost himself to it? Was he supposed to try to bear finding distance from you - when he couldn’t even last a few days not speaking to you - so he could manage it? 
He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he would ever really know. 
“Joel?” You stepped back from him, your eyebrows knitted together. “You OK?” 
You lifted a hand and pressed the back of it to his cheek. 
“M’fine,” he frowned. “Why?” 
“You look pale,” you said, moving your hand to the other side of his face. “But you don’t feel warm…” 
“Just gettin’ too old for the concert life,” he smiled a little. “Don’t worry about it.” 
You took your hand back. He wasn’t sure if it was a kindness or a cruelty. 
“Better get used to it if you’re going to start playing again,” you said, facing back toward the stage. 
“Yeah,” he said, heart clenching a little. “I’d better.” 
You and Sarah got him to dance and he memorized the look on Sarah’s face as the show wound down, all happiness and joy at getting exactly what she wanted.
After a seemingly endless wait for an Eras Tour t-shirt and the traffic jam to leave the parking lot, the three of you made it back to the hotel, Sarah asleep in the back seat. You went to wake her but Joel stopped you. 
“I’ve got ‘er,” he said quietly, lifting her delicately from the back seat. She groggily put her arms around his neck and nuzzled into his shoulder and he smiled a little. She might be getting big but at least he could still carry his baby girl to bed. 
The two of you tucked her in together before tiptoeing to the bedroom. 
“Thank God I talked Sarah out of glitter for me,” you said quietly as you took your makeup off, already in your pajamas in front of the bathroom mirror. Joel tried to resist the urge to trace the curve of your legs and ass with his eyes. “I’ve barely got the energy to take this off…” 
“Her hair’s gonna be a nightmare tomorrow,” he said, smiling in spite of himself. 
“Yeah, but she loved it,” you looked at him in the mirror. “Worth it.” 
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Worth it.” 
When you got in bed, the two of you ditched the pretense of distance that you’d started with the night before. You lay close but not touching, close enough that he could feel the warmth of you under the blankets. 
“So,” you said, yawning. “How was your first concert with Sarah?” 
“Anything that makes that kid that happy is great in my book,” he smiled a little, his eyes tracing the dark outline of you silhouetted in the dim city light that filtered around the curtains. “Seriously… thank you. I couldn’t have done this without you.” 
“Thanks for letting me be a part of it,” Joel could hear your groggy smile on your voice. “And I had a few Christmases to make up for missing.” 
He laughed lightly. 
“I missed you, Joel,” you said, sounding so tired he wasn’t sure that you knew you said it. 
He was quiet for a moment. 
“Missed you too, Goldie. So much.” 
You hummed in response before your breaths shifted to the quiet, easy cadence of sleep and Joel drifted off, letting himself savor the closeness of you. 
That indulgence, he thought at first, was what sparked the dream. 
You were in a hotel room with him in his head, too, but it was different. It was just the two of you and it wasn’t because you had to be. No, you were there for each other. 
Joel took his time with you then. He undressed you slowly, his lips trailing over your neck and shoulder as he slid the straps of your bra down your arms. He kissed you the way he wanted to at the concert, holding you to him as his tongue dipped into your mouth and he could smell your shampoo and feel the silk of your skin below his fingers and his cock was painfully swollen. His kiss grew more desperate, desire shifting to necessity. He was drawn hot and tight inside his skin and wanting you was a distant memory now because he was far beyond that. He needed you. 
He rutted against the soft warmth beside him, seeking some kind of relief, your body relaxed and pliant against him, your breath hot on his skin and it was the little whimper you made that woke him up. 
It was still early, the light coming in from around the edges of the curtains not bright enough for it to be the light of day yet but that didn’t seem to matter, he could see things just fine. You were close and tight against him, his aching cock pressed to your stomach, the root of him against your clit, your pussy so hot he could feel it through your pajamas and his own. Your leg was hitched over his hip and you rocked your hips against his length and your head was tucked below his. He could smell your shampoo and feel the heat of your breath on his neck. He froze against you and you gave a soft, strangled moan. 
“Goldie,” he whispered, only then realizing that he was panting for breath. “Think… I think you’re dreamin’, should wake up…” 
You didn’t respond. You just moaned, high pitched and needy, and worked your core against his length and Joel worried that he was going to come then and there. 
“Goldie,” he said again. HIs voice sounded strangled, like he was choking on the words. “Gotta wake up baby, can’t…” 
Your leg tightened on him and your hand found its way to the back of his neck, playing in his curls as you ground yourself against his cock and he thought he might burst if he didn’t find some kind of relief soon and… was it really wrong if you started it? If you were practically fucking him in your sleep, was it so bad to give in to what you wanted? 
His resolve weakened, falling into nothing in a matter of seconds. His hands spread over you, one between your shoulder blades, the other cupping the lush globe of your ass and he pressed closer to you, grinding against your hot slit that you kept pressing against him like you wanted him the way he wanted you. 
Joel’s hand traveled down your ass and over your thigh, the feeling of your skin below his fingers almost too much when taken with everything else you were offering and fuck he wanted to feel you come. He wanted to bury himself deep inside of you and feel you get lost in your pleasure while wrapped around him. He resisted the urge to at least slip a finger into those wet panties - he knew they’d be wet, knew you’d be fucking dripping - because that, for some reason, was a bridge too far. You hadn’t started that. You had started this. 
“Goldie,” he managed again, forgetting all pretense and just fucking his cock against you now. “Need you to wake up…” 
You buried your face in his neck and moaned, the motion of your hips picking up for a moment before you pulled your face back from him, eyes open wide and glassy with want and shock. He froze, his hands still on you and his cock still pressed against your core. 
“Joel,” you breathed, eyes searching his. “What are we…” 
“Want me to stop touchin’ you?” He asked, praying you wouldn’t say yes. 
“No,” you whispered. “I… I want…I need… but we… we can’t…” 
His heart cracked open at that but he shoved it aside. He could deal with the pain of that later. 
“Don’t gotta be anymore than this,” he said quietly. “It’s OK baby, promise. It doesn’t need to mean anything, it’s OK…” 
You just nodded quickly and buried your face in his neck again, clutching him close so every line of you was tight to his body, your hips working in earnest against his cock. He moaned at the feel of it, needing to press his mouth into the crown of your head to muffle the sound. He rutted himself against you, his leaking cock making such a mess of his goddamn underwear that it almost felt like he was inside you, the slick of his precome and the heat of your pussy intoxicating. 
The two of you rocked against each other like teenagers in heat, terrified of what that next step would mean but too desperate to stop yourselves now. Joel was getting dangerously close to spilling into his pants and was trying to stave off his orgasm, needing to come with you, when you spoke - voice small and hot and needy - from your place tucked against his skin. 
“I’m gonna come, Joel,” you panted so quietly, like your pleasure was a secret. “I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, fuck, I’m gonna come, I…” 
“It’s OK,” he said, holding you a little closer, a little tighter, working his cock against you a little harder. “Just come, it’s OK, I’ve got you, it’s OK, just come for me baby, just come.” 
You rutted yourself against him once, twice more before your body seized up and he could feel the throbbing of your pussy against his cock even through the layers of clothing. He closed his eyes and thrust up, letting himself imagine that he was deep inside you and coming there, his orgasm hitting him so hard it made his head spin. 
Your body went limp in his hold after as the two of you panted for breath, limbs tangled around each other. He just held you, tight enough to feel close but loose enough that you could pull away when you needed, until you leaned back from him. Your eyes were still wide but more in shock, now, than want. 
“Joel,” you whispered. “What did we do?” 
He could hear the panic edging into your voice. 
“What did we just do?” Your breaths were coming in fearful little pants now and he ignored the pain in his chest as he brushed your hair back soothingly. 
“S’OK,” he said softly. “It… it doesn’t have to mean anything, it’s OK. Just… shit happened, it wasn’t anything crazy, it’s OK. It don’t have to be anything it’s not, it’s OK.” 
There was a look in your eyes he couldn’t quite place but then you nodded. 
“You OK?” Joel asked after a moment. 
You held his gaze for a second before you nodded once. 
“Yeah,” you said. “It’s OK.” 
His alarm went off and he scrambled to turn it off, praying that, this time, it really would be OK. 
A/N: I'm going to keep building that tension because I love to torture them apparently.
Don't ask me what my problem is. If I knew, I'd tell you.
Thank you so much for reading about these two idiots! I love them so much. Even if they're idiots.
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mrinafria · 2 days
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Just last night I was sitting there going through my edit drafts, and I looked at this scene, to notice all these things Seon Jae does before/during the live radio call.
Really wasn't going to write about OG Seon Jae after my last post on him. I never knew I had such a masochistic side to me until Lovely Runner because all I've done since this show started is go back to rewatch episode 1-4, over and over and over and over again as if this was a hell loop I created for myself.
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There's hope, anticipation, a bit of excitement too. He will hear her voice. Again. He will get to talk to her. For the first time. Yeah. The OG Seon Jae never got to talk to Im Sol. He admired her, crushed on her, liked her, observed her, tried whatever he could as a 19yo to save her, but he never, ever got to talk to her. This is the very. first. time. he's able to have a conversation with her.
But she doesn't pick up. And he has to put a leash on his emotions in those few seconds because this version of Ryu Seon Jae stopped showing his true emotions long back. Ah, this was the only chance I had. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could know how she's been doing. Just once. Just this one time.
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He introduces himself using his name. Not along with his band name, which is the usual practice, mind you. And a very little pause before going "Do you know me?"
Sometimes when you long for a person, crave for their voice, their smile, their presence in your life and your world, you desperately want to be present in their world too, no matter how trivial your presence or your existence might be to them. Seon Jae hoped she would remember; even if she didn't consider him her savior (which he never thought he was) he desperately wanted some semblance of familiarity in her voice, even if it was out of nothing but resentment. Maybe even something as painful as How dare you call me.
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And she does share her resentments, not towards Seon Jae the 19yo boy who she doesn't remember, but Ryu Seon Jae the idol, along with everyone present there, for putting her through this misery, triggering her worst trauma and twisting the knife in her wound that has already driven her to the brink of ending it all. Everyone is uncomfortable here, except for this one guy. He's back to reliving that incident that forever changed her life, his life and brought them to this moment here. He is reminded of just how big of a failure he is, for failing this one person he never wanted to fail. He is reminded how a moment of indecision/inaction on his part led to the person he loves the most to be this miserable. In this moment above, you look at him and realize it's no longer Ryu Seon Jae; it's the 19yo Seon Jae, the one at the reservoir, the one who kept chanting mianhae to an unconscious Im Sol, the one who waited on that bench while she underwent surgery--clutching on to the watch in anguish as if that was the only thing keeping him from falling apart--the one who stood by her hospital door, listening to her screams while shattering into a million pieces inside. It's the 19yo Seon Jae who would be haunted by her screams and live for the remainder of his brief life in extreme guilt and regret mixed with intense longing, until he meets his untimely demise on that fateful night.
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I often wonder if he could sense it from her voice on the call. Just how close she was to the edge, how she was probably going to do something that very day right after the call ended. Was it because he felt her pain as if it were his own? You see him springing to action right when we think it's over, as if he is desperate to help her, any. way. he. can. You see how restless his eyes get all of a sudden? He likely wants to say so many things to her. Sol-ah, I'm glad to hear your voice. Sol-ah, I'm sorry. Sol-ah, I hope you are okay. Sol-ah, I'm grateful you are here. Sol-ah, I'm really sorry I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry I failed to wake you up. I'm sorry I let you miss your stop. I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be more careful. You can hate me all you want. I'll live the rest of my life being sorry to you. You don't have to forgive me. I'm fine as long as you're okay, you're fine, you're happy. Sol-ah, I miss your smile. I miss the sound of it. I miss knowing you're happy somewhere, even if I am nowhere in your somewhere. Sol-ah, thank you. Sol-ah, please, please live.
But oh, he can't say any of that to her now. So all he says is "Thank you, for living. The ones by your side will thank you for that". And yes, he means himself.
He wanted to be the umbrella she once was to him, the gift she has been to him all his life, both literally and figuratively. And because Ryu Seon Jae is a person who will receive the affection/love you give with the utmost appreciation, increase it 10x more and return it to you gift-wrapped with sparkly ribbons, he chooses to be her umbrella this way, the only way he can.
He wanted to pull her out of the reservoir, literally and figuratively, so she could live. He didn't mind spending all his life stuck in that reservoir himself.
This was supposed to be a response to @thedeathdeelers rewatch post here and as usual, it ended up being a mess of feels (why do I even try really) I swear atp I feel like we're the same person watching feeling the same things lmao. You, don't ever shut up about this show please :')
p.s. I love writer Lee Si Eun for ultimately wanting to save THIS OG Ryu Seon Jae, and therefore initiating the memory flashback with pieces from this timeline. Although my heart will forever ache for this OG boy, it finds some comfort in that.
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doodle-pops · 8 hours
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House of Feanor | A Maia Reader is Interested in Them (Pre-Darkening)
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Request: Hey Mina! If you’re ok with it, could you write your headcanons for the house of Feanor having a Maiar interested in them romantically? Pre or Post darkening is fine, whichever is most interesting to you. I know canonically it’s basically unheard of for a Maia to marry an Elf but I think about it frequently because the Ainur fascinate me 💀 - Anon
A/N: I wanted to do post-darkening, but then I realised how angsty I would have made that, so I bailed, plus I was in the mood for fluff. Enjoy!!
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Feanor
Feanor being the ever so passionate and intriguing figure is more interested in you than you are in him. Furthermore, it wasn’t shocking for him when he discovered that a Maia was interested in him.
He’s literally spending all his time in Aule’s forges, what else to expect? His presence would have you hooked from the very start. The charm, the charisma, his voice, features, everything about him.
The only thing you and he would clash on numerous occasions for, is your love and appreciation towards the Valar, considering them beings who can do no wrong, and his pride and impulsiveness.
Apart from that, you and Feanor spend hours engaging in deep, philosophical discussions about the nature of the world and the secrets of creation. You would even extend your knowledge in creating towards his crafting.
The one thing you would constantly have to put up with (just like Nerdanel) is his fiery temper and hatred towards the rest of his family and Indis. You will forever have to temper his harshness and vocalisation, but also prepare yourself for being shown off and rubbed in his brothers’ faces.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Maedhros
When the both of you are together, walking about and basking in the joys of each other’s presence, no one can tell the difference between who is elf and Maia. You both appear as two Maiar due to the ethereal beauty and grace you exert.
He does find solace in your calm and serene presence, given his elder brother’s duties being too much at times and dwelling in a noisy household. With you, he is able to drop his guard and be himself without the need to be on edge.
Most of the time, you spend moments getting to know each other better and explore the realms of emotion and touch since it may be uncommon for you. Maedhros finds joy in teach you how to hold hands or fingers and express your elation, the same way you teach him.
At the same time, you would offer him knowledge, support, and guidance on taking the role of being a leader and role model to his younger brothers. Though, it would take a copious amount of time before you ever get introduced to his family.
He finds your ethereal and otherworldly presence not worth being among his family yet, wants to be a bit selfish and have you to himself for the great part of learning you. Plus, he knows it will be a huge talk around Valinor and his father would talk everyone’s ear off.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Maglor
It would only be fair that you and Maglor became interested in one another due to your common love for the arts, your poetry or storytelling and the music. The perfect duo, matchmade in heaven Valinor.
You have been interested in hearing his voice up close and in person which triggered a plethora of emotions, urging you to pursue the minstrel. And now, you both spend your time singing tales and writing stories in your free time, teaching him how to incorporate more magic into his songs.
Being around him means being his inspiration in his art and encouraging him to express his deepest emotions. His household has never known peace since the day you met him and became a frequent visitor.
Maglor holds a deep respect for you as his muse and person of interest, though, he can be partially nervous around you because of your differences and the breath-taking voice you emit which surpasses him. You got a little grumbly Maglor sulking in a corner.
At the same time, he is proud to call you his and dies on the inside with you call him yours. Due to your interactions with him, you are quickly able to navigate emotional and physical intimacy with him, smoothly transitioning into your relationship.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Celegorm
He’s loud and hollering that a Maia is interested in him. “Like have you not seen me? I’m the hottest thing since the light of the two trees. Of course they’d fall for someone with irresistible charm like me.”
Seriously, Tyelko is smug at the realisation that he managed to not only be an apprentice of a Vala and have a Maia as an animal companion, but also managed to impress one to have them like him.
It’s hard for him to shut up about how ecstatic he is about you liking him and wanting to be with him. Most of the time you and Tyelko would be alone, which means Huan would also depart, so he can impress you with his charm and knowledge while he takes you on hunts.
This doesn’t mean that he’s going ignore the fact that you are more intelligent than him. Tyelko will drink up every word that pours from your lips like sweet nectar. He will value all the lessons you give him and all the magic you teach him.
At the same time, be prepared to hear him complain about you and Huan always spending time together and ignoring him because he forgets that Huan and you are similar.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Caranthir
Initially, he is aloof before he slowly opens up to your patient and understands the nature of wanting to get to know him better. Moryo is stunned that you managed to notice him among the crowd of six other brothers, thus it makes him more appreciative.
With his desire for peace and tranquillity, he would easily find himself in your presence more often than he expected as time graduates. It’s quite an adorable sight to witness you and Moryo navigating with expressing your emotions.
He is grateful your for peaceful presence being about stability due to his love for quiet support. Most of your time spent will be away from his home and more among nature where he can observe you in your element, likewise the same with him.
With his love for fabrics, he would love when you show your interest by accompanying him to shop or gathering unique patterned clothes for him to work with, even expressing an interest to learn.
The most you would have to deal with are his quick outbursts when displeasure kicks in. As a Maia, you would have seen the Valar distraught before, but witnessing it with someone you were interested in brought new waves of emotions. At least you were gentle to guide him to relief.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Curufin
You’re probably a Maia of crafts or one that surrounds the elements of this world capable of being moulding into tangible objects. Hence your fascination with Curufin the moment you laid eyes on him.
Like his father, he too is fascinated by the nature of you and your knowledge of lore and craft, seeing a potential ally in his pursuits. Your presence would be of great assistance when it comes to offering insights that would enhance his skills.
Many occasions you two can be found working together on projects as you continue to learn more about each other. And you would come to realise that when engrossed in his craft, you can barely squeeze a response out of him.
He too, has his cold temperament that you would come face to face with on numerous occasions, as well as his ruthless ambitions, which would require you to guide him towards a more balanced goal.
One thing to note is his pride when it comes towards your interest in him; he takes it seriously and prays that what you two have develops into something more. It’s not often he opens up to people, so you coming along like the sunshine in his life is something he would cherish, silently.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Amrod and Amras
Let’s say you’re a Maia of adventure, one whose spirit is wild and yearns for tales of far-off places. Amrod and Amras are going to love your presence more than ever, each tailing behind you with eyes and hearts yearning for more.
Together, you and Amrod or Amras would embark on adventures across Valinor into the deep woods and over the mountains, under the hills and around the river bends, telling tales as you go, and teaching them magic tricks (which makes their pranks all the more daring).
Whichever of the twins you are dating, you still get the opportunity to teach them about independence and being their individual, helping them find their identity and take a stand against those who only view them as the same.
There will be lots of fun and playful moments shared between the two of you, while they teach you how to be mischievous so you can play pranks on your fellow Maiar when you return to your sanctuary.
All your time spent around Amrod or Amras will be filled with experiences and endless days of learning new forms of fun. Your relationship will be as though you are two peas in a pod.
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˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Celebrimbor
Like his father and grandfather (because let’s pretend that another Maia wasn’t also interested in him) Tyelpe would be profoundly grateful to learn that a Maia was interested in him and his craftsmanship, wanting to teach and learn alongside him.
You both would spend hours and even days locked up in the forge tinkering to create new majestic pieces of art (please don’t go making the Silmarils 2.0 or the rings, enough people died for those). Plus, you would have the opportunity to bless the objects.
He is deeply grateful that such a divine entity like you would find great interest in him and is willing to openly spend time with him, apart from crafting, to get to know him better. He probably died and was reborn in that moment.
You will be a massive foundation in his life, driving him to pursues his passions and dreams, providing support and respect. Though, as much as you’re a rock in his life, he would probably hide you from his father, wanting to silently be with you.
During those moment, your vast knowledge would be shared and generously absorbed like a sponge because Tyelpe isn’t missing the free opportunity to learn about the world before and around him.
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Masterlist
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onlylove4louis · 1 day
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So Armands backstory reveal, and the discussion/comparison to Lestats previous peak into his own... More in regards to why it happened, and how Louis'/DremStat subconscious reacted to it, etc...
This is one of the things that I've been wanting to post about, but I just don't have a solid enough grasp on my own understanding and perception of it. But then I came across this post, by/from @loustat-0 :
That helped me sort of uniform my thoughts on it a bit more, and I didn't want to hijack that post, so I figured I'd just make my own 👌🏽
@loustat-0 please let me know if you're not okay with me linking you're post here, or your post being associated with mine via reblogging or commenting. As I am not able to properly use or access my messages and can't seem to comment on literally any post I come across, I didn't really have a way to respectfully ask for permission first. And if you don't want it publicized either way, you may be able to send an 'ask' my way. And I won't post that, but just a way for you to privately communicate, if you need/want.
Now, to this scene:
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With a quick input about this part of it:
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While the bulk of it will be the parallel/comparison, to this scene/moment:
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Now, I will say right up front, the point of this post is not directly about either backstory... as both of their pasts and past traumas trigger me rather bad, I will not be discussing specifics about that. All I will say about either is they're both being honest, both backstories are true, but both have been clearly adapted ever so slightly for reasons that will be made clear later. But it can be assumed to be changed just to better fit with the adapted characters, and the adapted story being told here. Now, lets dig in...
First, I want to talk about what I personally understand of the 'why's of both, as in why they each individually divested this painful part of themselves, and exposed these particular wounds. What they hoped to gain, and/or may have used/utilized it for. Primarily because I think it's the core to helping you understand why Louis reacted to and handled it the way he did. And why DreamStat essentially barked at it 😅
I almost fully agree with what was discussed and answered in the link above, especially the part about Lestat being "forced" to give that part of himself in that moment, vs Armand "offering" it himself. And why that effected how Louis perceived it, but I wanted to reiterate certain things from my own perception of it...
So with Lestat, I do think he still had the choice and made the choice to reveal that part of him/his past. So while I don't think using the word "forced" is wrong, I just see it more as; both Louis and Claudia needed this thing from him, and he realized that in order to basically be allowed back in (to his physical home, to his family, but especially into Louis' heart) he knew he had to give this 'thing'. I believe it does need to be understood that this is a very VERY traumatizing thing for Lestat, this is something that he deals with CPTSD from, etc. for the entirety of the Chronicles. So it's something that he himself would not have just offered. Because he does not like to think about it, remember it, give voice or space to it at all, even acknowledge how badly it did/does effect him. But that also does not change the fact that he did very much use it as a means to gain understanding from Louis, via compassion, sympathy and empathy. Simply meaning he did utilize a painful truth in order to get him access back into Louis' very gentle, human heart.
Which is what I believe Armand did as well. But the differences, in the circumstances and how it happened, are why it just didn't get the same reaction/response from Louis. And it's also because of this previous moment with Lestat, that Armands attempt simply wasn't as effective.
So with Armand, the sheer difference is (I believe), other than Armand himself offering it without being asked, is; I genuinely believe Armand did in fact go into it, in order to actively garner the compassion and sympathy from Louis... Think of it this way, as a kid you would have to go on errands with your parents (usually mom), not wanting to, but knowing that there's a chance you MAY get ice-cream. Or McDonalds, if you do. Ultimately making it worth it... Versus, knowing for a fact that you will get it, so you proactively agree to go, or even ask to go, in order to get those things.
-- I don't know if that's a great analogy, but hopefully it helped some understand what I'm trying to say.
And I think that's what made the most difference between the two, in how if effected Louis. From Lestat, it was a moment of reluctant vulnerability. Humanizing himself, for Louis specifically, and allowing Louis a chance to have a closer look in order to get a better understanding, of what makes Lestat the way he is. Which in turn bonded Louis closer to him. For Armand, it instead felt like... and this is going to come out harsh, I apologize in advance... but it felt like a manipulation tactic. 'Let me tell you this sad story so that you will feel bad for me, and stop being mad at me for doing multiple things that have upset you.' Both were clearly utilized in manipulation of Louis' empathic nature, but only one was so overt that it made it hard for Louis to look past the manipulative nature of it. Combined with the first time leaving Louis untrusting and more paranoid about it being done again. Specifically because of how much he "allowed" it to affect him the first time (with Lestat). It made him alot less willing to allow that again, and made him alot less susceptible to that particular style of manipulation. Simply put, he's been so manipulated in the past, that he's jaded now and not as open or vulnerable to it as he was before.
-> I want to interject right here real quick before continuing, because I have come across and am aware that some people think and have pointed out/posted about that they feel Claudias Bruce reveal, was the same thing. And while I do understand why they may think that, and why they may have perceived it like that. I personally don't actually agree. And it's why I'm not also using that moment as an example of past manipulations, that have worked on Louis. Now I'm not saying that Claudia has not manipulated Louis in the past, because she definitely has. I just don't see that moment as one of them. And I definitely don't want this post to become a discussion about that.
Now, moving right on... Before we talk about HalluciStats "HA!" bark, and what I think that was all about, I want to get to the surrounding circumstances:
So it can't be denied (although some clearly keep trying) that Louis has been keeping Armand at an arms length. He's actively not allowing Armand to get too close to him, he's not letting Armand in. And for good reason. But it's very clear that Armand is really struggling with it. He's struggling with essentially finding ways to climb over Louis' walls. He's actively pressuring Louis STILL, to if not join the coven then at least to make more of an effort to "belong". Which does include using the fact that he knows and is keeping their "secret" (we all know what else that alluded to/implied) as a means to manipulate Louis into coming around the coven more. Which is really just coming around him more... And then he's also treating Claudia in multiple ways that Louis is very much not okay with (again, regardless of what some go out of their way to "erase"), and flexing his powers in ways that's are only reminding Louis of Lestat (derogatory).
I am not going to go into, the parallel made to abusive relationships that happens here, and that particular type of manipulation tactic used by abusive people. Because again, triggering. But I point all of this out, to point out the circumstances that put Armand in a place of wanting and needing to both placate Louis, defend himself, but mainly to get back on Louis' good graces. As well as attempt once again to get Louis 'closer' to him, to get him to open up more. Basically a, maybe if I allow myself to be vulnerable to you if I show you a vulnerability, you will in turn trust me enough to let down your guard to/around me.
Now it also can't be ignored, that one of the things that Louis is impressing on Armand here as well, and has been. Is that he actively wants and needs Armand to show him some of who he truly is. He wants to see some of the real Armand. Some of what's behind/underneath the Coven Master, hat. And just like Lestat, Armand understands that this is something that he needs to give to Louis, in order to get what he wants, from Louis. He needs to give some of his real self, in order to be allowed in.
But all of this, combined with the fact that Armand took Louis here, to this museum, with a specific purpose. Which means most likely, it's clear to Louis that this is not happening organically. He did not just happen to reveal his backstory because the moment called for it, or they happened to stumble upon, the moment. But instead it's been planned ahead of time, which falls too close to being orchestrated. In order to get a specific result. Which would make sense as to why Louis would already be on his guard, and untrusting, and skeptical of Armand and this entire thing. And would also make sense as to why he'd be weary of the manipulation in it, rather than anything else. Thinking 'why are you telling me this/what's the real reason behind it', rather than simply reacting to what is being revealed.
And finally, why I had to be jump-scared ass early in the morning, by Sam Reid barking on my screen. Because ya'll, on the first initial watch, and the 2nd to be honest, I was so caught up and stuck trying to emotionally survive Armand bearing his mangled, brutalized soul. And almost getting lost in his trauma, that I wasn't even paying attention to Loustat in the background, until the "HAA!!". And I just about
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It took me two re-watches to really pay attention to Lestat back there. And what I can tell, is that while he's clearly manifesting Louis' unconscious mind being very skeptical of the whole story, essentially 'are you believing this, really?!' type of energy. Very reminiscent of how Claudia reacted to Lestats backstory reveal. She didn't believe a single part of it, because all she could see was the manipulation in it (lets not forget, just because that's what she saw doesn't mean that's what it was, or at least "all" that it was. It's simply just an individual perception). But you can tell, that DreamStat doesn't actually start getting legitimately angry, and defensive by how he's crossing his arms so tightly... Until Armand mentions Magnus. As in it's not the whole story itself, it's instead that particular part of it.
Because what Armand does there, is casually lump Lestat in with Magnus, and the implication is that what Lestat did to Louis, how he turned him, was in any way similar to what Magnus did to Lestat (which I'll say right now, very much was not). That's what he was reacting to, and that's what he (aka Louis) completely rejected. Which I think, unfortunately also drastically than decreased the effectiveness of the entire thing. What I mean by that is, if a part of what you're telling someone, no matter how sincere and honest it may be. If even a small part of it garners or causes a negative reaction like that, then they're much more likely to reject the entirety of what you're saying. So I personally think that's more where Armand failed here, than anything else. He doesn't seem to be able to not bring Lestat into it, if I'm being honest it's almost like he can't help it.
It's like him in present day Dubai, feeling the need to say "Forty-seven more than he did with Lestat" 🤣 Because the point was, to get Daniel to stop comparing and contrasting Loumands relationship with Loustats. But in saying that, Armand himself directed it right back there anyways🤦🏽‍♀️👌🏽
I don't know if there was actually intention behind it, but in mentioning Magnus at all, and then the "conception" of Louis via Lestat... two things he has no business speaking on. He inadvertently diminished everything that came before it. At least in Louis' mind.
But phew, I think that's it. I'll end it here. If you made it this far, thanks for reading 🙌🏽
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hunnam · 28 days
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Henry Cavill The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) dir. Guy Ritchie
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pollyna · 1 year
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What follows is a series of screaming gifs because I can't scream out loud so they will do for me.
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nariism · 10 months
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neuvillette is aware that he shouldn’t have let you get so close. but he did, and now he’s lamenting the fact that your hands are grasping at his soft horns — his fucking horns, of all places — and he might like it.
uptight and strait-laced, you’ve never known the chief justice to be someone so easily flustered. yet here he is with heat crawling up his neck, so warm that you can feel it against your palms as they ghost over his skin.
you can’t help but laugh at his current situation.
he was vehemently against you coming anywhere near his hair at first, grumbling about how his horns were on the sensitive side and he would rather not have to go into work feeling uncomfortably aware of their presence on his head.
however, you were hard to deny with that little smile on your face and such soft hands grabbing at his arms, tugging him closer. a sweet voice chanting, "please, honey? pretty please?"
neuvillette has never been good at denying you what you want.
it’s how he ends up sitting at your shared vanity. you comb through his long hair, watching him with amusement in the mirror as he huffs and jolts with every brush of your fingers against his horns.
the fact that he was letting you get anywhere near them was surely a testament to his trust in you. he was completely vulnerable here, at your mercy.
“sorry,” you mumble disingenuously, clearly enjoying seeing your usually serious husband falling apart with a simple action. you quickly tie off the end of his hair with a bow and he sighs in relief, thinking that the torment is over.
it's far from over.
he draws a sharp breath when you lean forward and press two gentle kisses on him; one on either side of his head just beside his horns.
neuvillette glowers at you in the reflection, disapproval written all over his face. "stop that," he scolds.
you do, but only because you're worried he might melt into a puddle before your very eyes if you continue.
it becomes a daily routine after that, with him sitting patiently in front of the mirror while you brush and tie off his hair. and you always end it the same way: two kisses, a soft "have a good day at work," murmured against him, and a mischievous little smile that makes him sigh.
he responds everyday with the same two words. "stop that," with a narrow-eyed glare.
the day you do stop, he's confused and irritated.
not only because you have the audacity to throw a wrench into routine again, which you know he hates, but also because he can't figure out why he misses your lips so much.
"what are you doing? i am going to be late."
"hm?" you peer up lazily from your spot on the bed, still half asleep.
"you have to do my hair."
"i thought you didn't want me to, so i slept in today."
your husband is eerily silent for a moment as he mulls over your words. then, he carefully perches himself on the edge of the bed, back turned to you expectantly and still wordless.
no, he would never admit he likes it just a little bit — the vulnerability, the trust, the feeling of your hands threading through his hair, the intimacy of it. hell no.
but neuvillette doesn't have to say a lot of things for you to understand; not when the way his skin heats up says it all; not when you're the first person to touch his horns in centuries; not when he’s saying stop that with such an affectionate glimmer in his eyes.
you give him four kisses that morning, two on either side.
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© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.
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signedmio · 4 months
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What the…
HAZBIN HOTEL CAST are like as …
PARTNERS !! (and before that!)
Includes: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Alastor, Sir Pentious, Husker, Niffty, Lucifer Morningstar, Adam, Lute
Warnings: Swearing, S1 spoilers, sexual references, mentions of abuse, mentions of Valentino, messy, barely proofread
Also side note, if this is highly enjoyed, I will do a Part 2 with more characters!
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Charlie Morningstar
Crush!Charlie is a bit obvious. Not TOO obvious, but maybe if you squint hard enough…
Crush!Charlie has a tendency to show extra attention to you, especially if you’re a resident at the Hotel who’s trying to go up to Heaven.
Example: You’re the first person she asks if they need help, invite for a group activity, etc
Despite the fact that Crush!Charlie is really eager to confess her feelings, she truly does find value in getting to know you as a friend first.
She believes that it has its perks, which it does.
Crush!Charlie enjoys getting to know your hobbies, interests, past, strengths, all of it.
But as you are going off on your usual yap sesh about your face topic …
Crush!Charlie can’t help but peck you on the cheek, you’re cheeks just look so squishy and cute!
You’re stunned… You would’ve never thought that.. Charlie? Likes you? Pffff… Ain’t no way!
Crush!Charlie scrambles to explain to you her genuine feelings, and how she’s wanted to be with you for a long time, and scrambles again to ask you if you feel the same.
Now it’s your turn to shut someone up with a kiss.
You give her a drawn out peck on the lips, not too short, but not too long. Just enough to satisfy.
And yes, you do feel the same.
Now GF!Charlie is totally stoked! But she’s also a bit scared of the shoes she has to fill.
GF!Charlie decides to give you a little candy bouquet (that she made!)! Honestly it’s the cutest frickin thing, it has little chocolates and lollipops like AAA get me a Charlie!
GF!Charlie decides to introduce you to her dad, sure you guys have crossed paths a few times, but like, formally this time.
At first Lucifer is intimidated by you (not that he’d admit that), similar to the rivalry he had with Alastor.
But after awhile, he warms up to you, at the end of the day he loves his daughter, and he sees that you do to. So long as you treat Charlie good and you like rubber ducks, he’s chill with you :)
GF!Charlie’s love language is gift giving and physical touch!
On one hand, she loves giving gifts, it’s very soothing for her to go out and find something to give you, or coming up with an idea to make something for you, it takes her mind off of things
But at the other end of the scale, she loves receiving physical touch, she kinda freezes when she does because it’s so much to her but at the same time she enjoys it dearly! Even something as simple as rubbing her hand with your thumb while handling hands, long hugs, or hand kisses send her into a spiral haha
At the end of the day, GF!Charlie loves you a ton and honestly is just happy to be there loving you lol
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Vaggie
When Crush!Vaggie realizes she has a crush on you, it’s a bit of an ‘Oh Shit’ moment, y’know?
Due to her secret, and the fact that she has a bit of trust issues, they just don’t go hand-in-hand with love.
Crush!Vaggie is a bit dependent on you to make the first move, but that doesn’t mean she won’t, but she needs you to throw a few jabs first.
The more her crush on you stays and the more she doesn’t do about it, the more it starts to bug her
Crush!Vaggie decides one day she doesn’t know how much more of the subtle flirting and eye contact from across the room she can take, cause deep down, she has a gut feeling you like her too.
So, Crush!Vaggie decides she’s going to confess.
When it comes down to it, obviously you feel the same, and she really wants to make an impact right away!
Now GF!Vaggie decides to plan a little surprise for you, a date!
GF!Vaggie decides to just take you out to the back of the hotel and you two lay down and look at the night sky (as I’m not sure if there’s stars in Hell tbh.)
You two sit there and talk, it gets vulnerable for a bit, slowly but surely starting to break down eachothers walls… But not for too long before one of you is like “NOPE, too much emotions for one day!” haha
At the end of the day, GF!Vaggie, isn’t perfect at this whole girlfriend thing, but for you? She’ll sure as hell try.
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Angel Dust
Like Vaggie, Crush!Angel is tempted to “NOPE” out, after falling into Val’s trap, he’s hesitant to try again.
But soon enough Charlie shows him that opening up got her an amazing girlfriend, so he decides, hey, might as well right?
Crush!Angel goes out of his way to obnoxiously flirt with you, but you thought this was normal behavior, as he does it with basically everyone at the hotel.
Crush!Angel thinks it’ll take time, but you’ll catch on, and well… not exactly…
One day, Crush!Angel comes back from a long shoot, and he pulls a good, classic flirt on you, and poof! Right over your head!
And he doesn’t know what got in him, maybe the alcohol, maybe Valentino, maybe the buildup stress, who’s knows, but he snaps…
Crush!Angel proceeds to go off about how he’s always flirting with you and how he just doesn’t get how you’re so blind that you just can’t see it!?
And you start to laugh, which at first makes him more mad.
“Well how was I supposed to know if you flirt with everyone here? I thought it was normal!”
And with that, you walk away, leaving him bamboozled.
The night goes on as normal, you head up to your hotel room, and just as you’re about to turn lights out you hear a knock on your door and a voice from the outside.
“So do you wanna fuck me too, or no?”
The next day, you and Crush!Angel have a talk over a drink or two, and decide, not only do you two wanna fuck, you also want to date!
Now BF!Angel is a bit nervous, but don’t fret! He has that feeling in his stomach that makes him want to grin like he’s never grinned before.
BF!Angel’s love languages are quality time and words of affirmations, considering all that Val can do to him in a day, he doesn’t love being touched without consent, but that doesn’t mean touch is off limits by any means! Just ask and he’ll give it to you!
And for quality time, you and BF!Angel don’t really go out for dates, considering how fans (and Val) are, also considering the fact that he just wants a break from life.
Instead, you two usually just spend time in eachothers hotel rooms, binge shows, give eachother makeovers, play dress up, just being the kids you never got the opportunity to be.
And once he sees that Fat Nuggets likes you, he knows you’re the one.
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Alastor
When Crush!Alastor first realizes he has feelings for you, he makes a mental note and goes on with his day.
He doesn’t really understand the point in fussing about it like most do, but then again, he’s not most people.
Crush!Alastor does thoroughly enjoy spending time with you though, he likes to just sorta keep you around.
He sticks up for you, if somebody gives you a problem, it will be handled, even if it’s a bit sadistic, he will do it everytime.
Crush!Alastor doesn’t feel the need to confess directly, but if you ask him how he feels about it, he won’t deny his feelings towards you!
So whenever Crush!Alastor becomes BF!Alastor, he does lay down some ground rules, as a relationship with him, will not be the same as a relationship with others.
BF!Alastor is a gentleman, no doubt. He opens any door that you may come across (car, building, whatever), he asks for consent before doing anything — however intimate it may be, and he does buy you flowers.
But, that does not mean BF!Alastor is perfect, he’s not the most physically affectionate, unless he initiates it himself, and he’s not great with feelings.
If you’re upset, he tries to stay away, not because he doesn’t care, but because most of the time he’ll keep his upbeat energy and act like nothings wrong in attempts to cheer you up — but sometimes that’s just not what you need.
But, BF!Alastor kicks in eventually, and turns on some calming music, turns his radio affect down in volume so the sound doesn’t overwhelm you, and give you a nice, long hug as you two sway around the room.
By far, BF!Alastor’s love language is acts of service and quality time.
BF!Alastor honestly adores spending time with you, you’ve made him feel more alive than he has in years, and he follows you around like a puppy, but he makes it look like you following him around rather than the other way.
And he’ll always do things for you, even if he doesn’t understand them. If they make you happy, he might as well get started on doing them, because he can’t go awhile without seeing your darling face and your beautiful smile.
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Sir Pentious
Crush!Pentious is… very… obvious.
But you don’t say anything, cause he’s adorkable.
You watch day after day out of pure adoration as Crush!Pentious tumbled over his words and changes his mind as he tried to make a move, and you loved every second of it.
This went on for awhile, and you started to notice his little quirks, which only made you fall for him more.
Eventually, one day after Crush!Pentious had tried to subtly say that he liked you, you decided to do him a favor.
“Pen.”
“I like you too.”
“I- UHM- WELL- YOU’RE- I- UHM-”
Yeah maybe that didn’t go how you thought it would…
Well in more ways than one, cause Crush!Pentious became BF!Pentious that day!
BF!Pentious was really nervous, he finally had you! But he didn’t wanna lose you cause he did something stupid either… He had to make the perfect move!
So he ended up asking Charlie to ask you a bunch of relationship related questions, and ending up deciding on your dream date with your favorite flowers. Basic, but gets the job done right?
BF!Pentious’ love languages are gift giving and physical touch. Like please cuddle him. He’ll get pouty if you don’t notice. So just notice already!!
BF!Pentious, like Charlie, loves making you gifts! He uses his knowledge from war machines to make something homemade and honestly it’s just the sweetest thing!
Is he perfect? Yes. But for this let’s say no. Does he try? Also yes!
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Husker
Crush!Husk can’t even remember the last time he had a crush, but he’s chill with it.
Crush!Husk never planned on officially confessing to you, he just was going with the flow, ya know?
You start talking to him and realize maybe you like him too, but it wasn’t thought about much more than that.
It’s not until Angel asks you, “So are ya fucking or no..?”
And it makes you think, no, but you wouldn’t mind if that were arranged.
So one night, while you’re drunk and talking to Crush!Husk, you say… “Y-Ya knOW! We- We should HAHAH get together! HEHEHEH!” “Talk to me when you’re sober, you’re not making a stupid decision, I won’t let ya.”
And somehow, someway, you remembered that in the morning. So with a headache from your hangover, you go up to Husk’s bar and sit down, “What are we?” “Whatever you want us to be.”
From then on, Crush!Husk became BF!Husk!!
BF!Husk always made sure to look out for you. He’s the ‘defend you in public, correct you in private’ kinda guy.
BF!Husk is big on words of affirmation and acts of service.
He won’t hesitate to tell you how much he loves and cares for you whenever you need it, he’s a very honest guy, but he also loves doing little things to show that he cares.
‘Oh, I did the dishes for you.’ or ‘I cleaned your room.’ or ‘I folded your laundry.’ are things you hear daily.
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Niffty
Crush!Niffty is another one that’s very obvious, and quite frankly, she doesn’t care.
Crush!Niffty has been open to you about her feelings since day one, and you make sure she knows you feel the same way.
So basically instantly, she becomes GF!Niffty.
GF!Niffty loves physical touch and acts of service.
She loves cleaning for you, and showing you all her accomplishments. But she also loves hugging you, kissing you, just being next to you is enough.
Life isn’t much different versus life with Crush!Niffty but you love it regardless, and you wouldn’t trade either life for anything.
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Lucifer Morningstar
Crush!Lucifer doesn’t really have that shock of realizing he likes you, cause he always has and has always known.
You were the one person who was there after Lilith, even if it was only platonic back then, you were still there.
Crush!Lucifer REALLY likes you and considering how long he’s liked you (literal years) he decides to just man up and say it.
Unsurprisingly, you feel the same way and you two start dating.
BF!Lucifer doesn’t want to lose you like how he lost Charlie and Lilith, so he’s very certain that he gives you everything he thinks you derserve.
BF!Lucifer is a big jumble of all the love languages at once because of this. But I think he leans towards physical touch and words of affirmation.
BF!Lucifer is constantly in need of reassurance as he feels like he’s not enough due to his depression, and also hugs, because y’know, hugs help.
If you have a good relationship with Charlie, which you should, like cmon, he’s ecstatic! And sometimes he needs your help with parenting cause he really wants to try his best for you, and her.
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Adam
Adam and you started off just fucking for fun, and fucking for fun turned into, friends, friends turned into- woah… it turned into a crush…
Crush!Adam is fucking clueless, he’s not good with this stuff, just guitar solos (FUCK YEAAHH).
During Charlie’s meeting with Heaven, he slips you a note…
Hey hot babe,
wanna do more than just fuck? (date)
And my God, you better accept because THAT is ART.
BF!Adam is far from perfect, but damn close. He really cares. But his main love languages are quality time and physical touch.
I mean cmon, he’s not great with his words, he can’t do much other than fight, he’s ass at giving gifts (he tried to give you a dildo once). So it’s really the only thing he’s good at, he can sit there, and touch you. That’s about all he knows how to do!
At the end of the day, BF!Adam really tries his best, he loves you, after all :)
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Lute
Considering the fact you’re Lute’s boss, she spends a lot of time with you.
And because of that, she starts to develop feelings.
Crush!Lute realizes she has a crush on you almost immediately, although she hesitates to tell you, due to how much you guys are together and her job.
But after awhile, she has a bit of a ‘screw it’ moment.
And boom! She turns into GF!Lute.
GF!Lute is a whole new version of the person you had gotten to know. Her wild side comes out, unlike her normal stoic side. (Example: “RIP VAGGIES CUNT MOUTH OUT ‘ER ASS!!!”)
Also side note, GF!Lute is committed as fuckkk. Once she’s there, she’s there for good, cause she loves you!
— END.
Hello! This is my first Hazbin post! I haven’t written for these characters in a solid year so I hope it’s alright! As I said up top, if this gets a lot of love, then I’ll do a part two (Which will include Cherri and the Vees to name a few~) ! Also don’t mind my Lute bias lmao, she’s my fav, she’s so hatable but idgaf and I love her vibe lmao! I’m hyperfixating on Hazbin since the first season just came out lmao! So please send requests! Love ya :)
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saetoru · 9 months
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ BURNER ACCOUNTS — GOJO SATORU.
contents. fem! reader, loser ex-boyfriend! satoru, exes to lovers, college! au, satoru making burners to watch your stories, miscommunications—satoru is not perfect but he’s trying okay?, gossip icons shoko & suguru <3, i had a silly idea and it turned into 2.6k words my bad
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there’s a peculiar account watching your instagram stories—@user273582838, to be exact. you don’t think it’s a very well timed coincidence seeing as you and satoru have just broken up—so you decide to do some digging. 
which of course, means enlisting the help of shoko.
“i think satoru is stalking me,” you mumble, making her pause in the middle of sipping on her energy drink—for a med student, her habits don’t seem every healthy. this is her third one of the day.
“okay,” she nods, “i wouldn’t put it past him, but what makes you say that?”
“look,” you turn your phone to face her, the blank, anonymous instagram account right there on the list of users who have viewed your story. she crinkles her brows, blinking for a moment before humming.
“that definitely seems like something he’d do,” she nods—and then, “i have an idea.”
“okay,” you brighten, nodding enthusiastically, “what’s the plan?”
“try and log in with that user.”
“shoko,” you look at her like she’s grown two heads. maybe the lack of sleep is finally getting to her—no amount of energy drinks can save her at this point. “we don’t have the password—”
“—and that, dummy,” she rolls her eyes, making you scowl at the name, “is why we click forgot my password and see the last four digits of the phone number that registered the account. if it’s satoru’s number, we’ll know.”
okay—you take it back. shoko is a genius and a full-blown brilliant mastermind that you could never hope to come close to. you’re glad you chose her to help—you’re even more glad she agreed because you would not have thought of that. this is fantastic. a fool-proof plan. 
you grin wide, eyes lighting up as you gasp, “shoko! you’re so smart, that’s a great idea!”
“i know,” she grumbles, “took you long enough to notice.”
ignoring her, you quickly pull out your phone and try to log onto the account, typing user273582838 into the username box and clicking forgot my password. shoko is hovering over your shoulder, and your breath is held as you wait for the page to load and the number to pop up. within just a few seconds, the first few digits are censored with asterisks, but the last four show, and—
yeah. it’s satoru’s fucking number. just as you suspected—you and shoko scoff together at the same time, rolling your eyes. 
“well,” you look at her, lips pursed in irritation—of course, satoru refuses to give you space and leave you alone after your break up (which was his fault, might you add), “what now?”
“send the verification code to his number,” she presses, “it’ll definitely spook him when he sees.”
she’s so good at what she does, you think in awe, staring at her with heart-eyes. nodding quickly, you press send code. 
hopefully, that’ll give satoru the heart attack you want it to.
———
satoru stares at his screen in abject horror—who could be trying to log into his burner account? the only person who should possibly stumble across it is you, but surely you’re not closely inspecting your story viewers, are you? so then, who could be trying to log onto the instagram account of @user273582838?
“suguru,” he says in a trance, “are you trying to log onto the burner?”
“are you bringing that shit up again?” suguru grumbles, controller in hand as he pays attention to the screen, “i told you that was a stupid idea. a pathetic one too—”
“well, i didn’t want to keep waiting for you to send screenshots to see the stories—”
“you’re a fucking loser, do you know that? pathetic,” suguru reiterates. “move on.”
“no,” satoru hisses in disbelief, “why would i do that? now, was that you or not? you’re the only other person who knows the user.”
“as if i care to log onto your loser burner account,” suguru snorts, shaking his head in amusement. he beats satoru’s high score, turning to give him a sly grin as he adds, “i wasn’t removed, so i can view the stories all i want.”
“you’re a jerk, you know that?” satoru grunts, crossing his arms and pouting, “i’m having the worst heartbreak of my life, and you—”
“who’s fault is it that you’re dumped?”
satoru deflates. 
okay, so he supposedly hasn’t been the best boyfriend. it’s not that satoru isn’t helplessly committed to you—he’s so sickeningly obsessed with you, it’s actually a bit unhealthy. suguru says so, at least. but satoru is…well, satoru, and he doesn’t always seem to take things as seriously as most people would hope. 
evidently, that includes your relationship—though, he does insist on disagreeing on that. according to you, he doesn’t take you on dates often enough, and sometimes he flirts back with random strangers. that’s not true—he’s simply a bit of a tease and enjoys it when you’re jealous, but he doesn’t flirt back. that’s outrageous. you’ve even claimed he’s mean about it and makes a joke out of it all—satoru would never be mean on purpose; he only teases because the banter is always endearing. 
but, unfortunately, you don’t seem to see it the way he does, and now he’s woefully single and cold and alone in bed. no cuddles, no goodnight kisses, and no head scratches. 
life is so cruel sometimes. 
“suguru,” he says in distress, “i’m serious. someone’s trying to hack my burner—who could it be?”
“hmm, i don’t know…maybe the one and only person who would notice the account in the first place?”
“but why try and log in if the password is unknown?”
suguru looks at satoru like he’s stupid—apparently, he is because he’s not putting two and two together. 
“maybe because sending a verification code shows the last four digits of the registered phone number? you’ve probably been caught, you idiot.”
satoru pales at that—he didn’t think about that. it slipped his mind completely. fuck, he should’ve used a burner email instead. he stares down at his phone numbly—yeah, he thinks, he’s screwed. 
———
after two days of continuous log in attempts into satoru’s burner account—it’s only just to spook him extra—you finally decide to confront him. 
we need to talk. is all you send him. 
the three bubbles appear on his end multiple times before disappearing—you and shoko get a good cackle out of that and laugh at him for a bit before he finally answers. 
miss me already? knew it ;)
wow. what a dickhead. 
so, because you can be equally as much of a prick, you send him a screenshot of his phone number on the log in page followed by a message that says: no. it’s so you can explain this. 
the three dots show up again for a few minutes before he finally responds with: okay. you caught me. when do you wanna meet?
well, that was easy. satoru is the type to not go down without a fight no matter how cornered he is—he’s stubborn and annoying like that. you turn to shoko for help.
“meet him now,” shoko crosses her arms, “don’t give him time to come up with some ridiculous excuse.”
“what excuse could he possibly come up with?” you snort, “that he was possessed and the evil spirit in his mind made him stalk his ex like a loser?”
“true,” she concedes, taking a sip from her energy drink—seriously, how many of these does this girl drink in a day? “i just want to know what happens,” she shrugs, “so do it now.”
of course, as on brand as ever, shoko is merely in it for the drama. you roll your eyes before sighing and nodding. 
“okay,” you huff. 
meet me at my place. now.
on my way, he sends back almost instantly. 
“he’s probably just excited to see you,” shoko snorts, “like the loser he is.”
“you’re probably right,” you purse your lips in exasperation. in all your time knowing him, you’ve definitely realized that satoru is definitely…well, a case. 
———
“hey,” shoko whispers to suguru through the phone, walking out your door so you can prepare to confront satoru. “did you know satoru’s been stalking—”
“—on a burner account? yeah, i know.”
okay, she frowns to herself, that was no fun at all. suguru is already aware of the drama. but that’s no matter—surely, he can’t possibly already know that satoru has been invited over to be scolded. 
“yeah, well,” she says smugly, “did you know he’s actually on his way over to—”
“—get yelled at? yeah, i’m aware. he called me panicked. what a fucking loser.”
“okay, well since you’re up to speed,” shoko grumbles bitterly, rolling her eyes. she was supposed to be the knight in shining armor with the juicy updates—but evidently, satoru is pathetic enough to already cry to suguru about his dilemma. “wanna meet up and get sushi nearby? i bet they’ll get back together in twenty minutes.”
“i bet ten. loser pays for the food?”
“you’ve got yourself a deal.”
———
satoru sits on your couch in shame, bouncing his leg nervously as you sit on the opposite end with your arms crossed and brow raised. 
it’s quiet. he doesn’t have the guts to say anything, waiting for you to break the silence. maybe you’re not that mad.
“so,” you start, “it’s nice to finally meet you, user273582838.”
he rubs his neck awkwardly, chuckling through his nerves as he mumbles, “oh, hey there! it’s a small world, huh?”
“satoru.”
yeah, never mind. you seem pretty mad. 
“okay, look,” he begins, “you can’t blame me. you dumped me, your sweet, loving, and unsuspecting boyfriend out of nowhere! i was heartbroken and shattered—and then you didn’t even give me a chance to work it out! i was not in the right headspace to make wise decisions so…so this is basically not my fault.”
that doesn’t seem to help his case—in fact, it only makes it worse. 
“so it’s my fault?”
“wha—no!” he says quickly, “no, definitely not.”
you sigh, rubbing your forehead in defeat as you mumble, “satoru, we are broken up for a reason. you can’t overstep and—”
“it’s a pretty stupid reason,” he grumbles under his breath, crossing his arms and frowning. you glare at him from the side as you scoff in disbelief. 
“of course,” you chuckle dryly, “of course you would say that. nothing is ever serious enough to you—”
“it’s pretty fucking serious to me,” he spits, shooting you a look that tells you he’s just as shocked as you, “that’s obviously why i’m the one who’s still not moved on as easily as you. how seriously did you really take it?”
“that’s not fair,” you grit, “you made it abundantly clear you didn’t care enough, so why should i—”
“i fucking cared a shit ton,” he says incredulously, “that’s bullshit, and you know it—”
“don’t curse at me, satoru—”
“well, don’t accuse me of not caring when i clearly—”
“oh, yeah cause you cared so much when you were laughing with that waitress as she hit on you,” you seethe, throwing a pillow from your couch at him. he can catch it easily—you know this for sure, but he lets it hit him out of what you’re sure is at least a little consideration to your feelings. 
“i wasn’t laughing because i enjoyed it,” he crinkles his brows as if you’ve said the most ridiculous thing ever, “it was just funny because she was trying so hard. and you looked all cute when you got mad.”
“what kind of boyfriend enjoys watching his girlfriend get mad—”
“the kind of boyfriend who thinks his girlfriend is adorable when she’s mad—”
“yeah, well your idea of a date is going to the mall with shoko and suguru. what kind of date is that—”
“okay, i was a bit clueless sometimes, but you could’ve said something instead of just dumping me like i was some random guy in your dm’s—”
“you need to grow the fuck up, satoru—”
“now look at who's cursing!”
it’s silent—both you and him have your arms crossed and lips curled into scowls as you both glare at each other. you’re stubbornly convinced satoru doesn’t care as much as you do, and he’s firmly committed to the idea that you’re twisting him into some douche who doesn’t give two shits. 
it’s quiet like that for a bit before he deflates and slumps against the couch, rubbing his face as he groans. 
“look,” he starts, “i’m sorry. i never meant to make it seem like i enjoy attention from other girls, and i didn’t realize you wanted more dates. i’d have done things differently if you told me how you felt.”
he sounds sincere. and he’s looking at you with those eyes of his—god, those stupid little eyes that are so wide and blue and deep and full of love. even after that whole argument, satoru is clearly as painfully in love as ever. 
you sigh before playing with a loose thread on your sweatpants. 
“i…guess i could’ve talked it out first. i probably shouldn’t have skipped straight to breaking up,” you mutter, not meeting his eyes. 
satoru stares glumly at you from the corner of his eyes before he adds bitterly, “you don’t seem to miss me. not even a little.”
“toru,” you pinch your nose, “of course i miss you. i was not gonna be mopey on instagram, though—”
“doesn’t seem like it,” he huffs. he’s a bit hurt—you can tell because he’s not meeting your eyes, and he’s not got that playful little upward curl of his lips. 
you’re a bit weak, you realize—but you suppose you always have been for satoru, because you’re shuffling to his end of the couch and poking his cheek gently. 
“i miss you tons, y’know,” you murmur—you smile a little at his pout before adding, “i want more dates this time around. and stop letting girls get away with being shameless flirts.”
he finally meets your eyes—it’s like a child on christmas, the way his face lights up and his lips curl into an excited grin.
“you mean i get to be your boyfriend again?”
it’s cute—the way he asks to be your boyfriend and not if you’ll be his girlfriend. maybe you’ve been a bit unfair, maybe satoru has always cared deeply in his dumb little clueless way of his own. 
“fine,” you pretend to roll your eyes. he looks hopelessly excited as he wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his side, tucking you under his chin as he rests his cheek on your head. 
“you should really talk to me more,” he murmurs, “i’m…things fly over my head sometimes. i’m sorry.”
“i’m sorry too,” you admit, “i’ll talk to you—but you better listen to me if i do. don’t turn it into jokes.”
“i never turn things into jokes,” he grumbles petulantly, huffing to the side as you shoot him an unimpressed raise of your brow. “does this mean i can follow you again?”
“yes,” you snort.
“and you’ll follow back, right?”
“yes, satoru,” you sigh, shaking your head in amusement. he’s already back to being a handful—but you can admit you might have missed it just a bit. “but for the love of god, please delete that burner.”
“fine,” he pouts, tugging you closer. 
you giggle, he grins, and then you’re kissing—and everything feels as it should be. 
———
“they’re back together,” shoko says in disbelief, staring at your text. suguru groans, pausing mid bite as he rubs over his forehead in defeat. 
of course, you and satoru just have to make up in exactly fifteen minutes. not ten. not twenty. exactly fifteen. 
how considerate of you both. 
“are you kidding?” suguru grumbles, “so neither of us win.”
“guess not,” she says sourly, rolling her eyes. 
woefully, they both agree to split the check. 
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suguru and shoko are so me and my friend every time our other friend argues with her boyfriend we deadass be making bets over when they make up and loser has to pay for boba LMAO
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kitkatscabinet · 7 months
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Don't feed him he'll come back (2)
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simon riley x neighbour! reader
summary: The ghost that lives in your apartment is a solitary man, people tend to stay out of his way, giving him a wide berth. You can't help but think he seems a little bit lonely, cue pestering him with bad jokes and food.
word count: 1.3k
A/N: Simon's POV of events. Find part 1 here. Part 3 here 18+ nsfw themes
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Simon’s not entirely sure what to make of his pretty neighbour who fattens him up with their cooking and has a penchant for bad jokes that might outshine even him. From the moment he’d caught you staring with wide eyes he’d expected wariness, or outright fear, those were the typical responses. He hadn’t expected you to force a tray of pasta bake into his hands and then promptly disappear before he could get a word in. 
It’s a bit ridiculous, but the random act of kindness set his teeth on edge, enough that he’d even suspected foul play briefly. Hunger and logic eventually won out over his paranoia and Simon devoured the tray embarrassingly fast. He’s not quite sure how to face you so he simply leaves the tray outside your door and assumes that will be that. 
Except it’s not. For some reason you’ve taken it upon yourself to feed him, leaving an array of dishes from dinners to snacks. Apart from an initial note inquiring into allergies you adapt his diet on experience, taking note of what he does and doesn’t seem to enjoy. 
He doesn’t know how to get you to stop, nor does he really want you to. Not when he’s become entirely too reliant on you feeding him, eagerly awaiting each new dish with the excitement of a hyperactive toddler. 
Price says he’s got a crush, which is just absurd, the only thing he knows about you is your name. And that your left cheek has a dimple when you smile, and that you love your cat more than anything and that-
He doesn’t have a crush. 
Then the elevator breaks. It breaks with only you and him inside and instead of panicking like he expected, you only seemed mildly annoyed for a few seconds before you turned to him with a conspiratorial grin. “A bear walks into a bar and says give me a whiskey and… cola. Why the big pause? Asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. I’m not sure, I was born with them.”
Simon’s a little floored and it’s probably only his shock that prevents him from laughing because dammit, that was better than some of his. What shocks him even more is that you aren’t deterred from his silence. If anything, you seem to take it as a personal challenge and your eyes glint in determination. 
It’s both a mixture of the jokes and you’re adorable determination that finally pulls a chuckle from his lips and Simon will forever remember the way your face absolutely lit up at the noise. 
It’s not until he provides a joke of his own before ducking into the safety of his apartment that he briefly thinks Price may have been onto something. He staunchly pushes that thought away but then you start leaving jokes with the food and he has to admit he’s in a little bit of trouble. 
You wrangle his number from him (not that he resisted very hard) and then you wrangle him into your apartment and you make him watch as you flit around your kitchen in order to feed him. 
His next deployment comes at exactly the right time and Simon is prepared to spend the months away getting over you. Except this doesn’t happen because you send him a joke every day without fail, not even deterred when he rarely responds. 
You send a selfie of you and your cat and Simon stares far longer than is appropriate. He’s dreamt of you before, both innocently and not so. For some reason, the distance makes this worse and Simon wakes hard and aching for you more often than not. 
(Johnny walks in on him with his hand in his pants staring at a picture of you once and neither of them can look at each other for days. He thinks this is preferable to the shit-eating grins Johnny throws his way now.)
For the first time in his life, Simon’s desperate to get back from deployment to the empty apartment he barely considers his home. The empty white walls and space not seeming as depressing when he knows you’re waiting for him just across the hall. Waiting to fill the dark void in his chest that grows when he loses access to your smile. 
For the first time in his life, Simon doesn’t want to leave his apartment. Each time Price calls him away from your presence starts to weigh on his soul more and more. It’s getting harder and harder to stop being Simon, to put on the mask and be the Ghost when all he can think about is you. 
It all comes to a head nearly nine months after he'd initially met you. As much as he tries to ignore the way his heart sings in your presence and aches in your absence Simon can’t really deny how he feels about you anymore. 
You pull him from his dangerous train of thoughts when you plop down next to him on the couch. Not exactly a new move in of itself but even then he can’t help the way he shivers at the feel of your arm against his skin. 
If asked Simon wouldn’t be able to tell you a single plot point of the movie you’d put on, not when his mind was running a mile a minute and he was trying not to smell your hair like a creep. 
He tenses a little when you tip against him but doesn’t push you away. Instead, he can’t help but smile softly down at you as he watches you fall deeper and deeper into the clutches of sleep. Awe and adoration in his eyes as one of his hands lightly stroked your cheek, his other arm wrapping around you to pull you closer to his chest. 
You’d wormed your way into his heart months ago with all your stupid jokes and your insistence on looking after him. Not once had you ever asked for anything in return, you even seemed offended at the implication. 
He wasn’t stupid enough to let you in on his feelings, not when every time he left you could end up being his last. Simon had once accidentally caught you crying over your brother, a soldier like him, though not as lucky. Your brother was dead and buried and Simon saw the toll it took on you years later even when you tried to hide it. 
You were the sun. You were light and everything that was good in this world, saw the good in him, and Simon refused to be the potential reason that light was snuffed out. 
He wouldn’t do that to you. But Simon wasn’t completely selfless, so he held you in his arms as he slept, letting himself imagine a life where you could be together. A life where he got to come home to you and your stupid fat cat, his apartment no longer in use and he’d hold you just like this as you slept. 
This wasn’t that life, but Simon still let himself pretend it was, just for a little bit. Because Simon couldn’t deny it any longer, he loved you, was in love with you. And for that, he had to leave before he ruined you.
Tags: @cooliofango @innercollectivecomputer
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aperrywilliams · 11 days
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That Wasn't Fake (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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------------------ 
Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Request: Can you write a Spencer fic where the reader is kind of quiet and shy when she begins working at the BAU, and Spencer has a crush on her, and then they have a case, and she has to like to seduce the unsub lowkey and everyone kind of like...how is she going to do this shes not very outgoing but when she does shes really good at it, and everyone is surprised and impressed.
Summary:  You're shy and reserved. Spencer has a crush on you, and unbeknown to him, you have a crush on him. Maybe the cat can get out of the bag when you have to step aside of your comfort zone to catch an elusive unsub.
Word Count: 4.2k (no self control here)
Warnings: Words like 'fuck' and 'bitch'. A rant about self-doubt. Typical CM stuff: unsubs, killings, etc.
A/N: Another request I loved! It should have been a little shorter, but I'm having a hard time getting to the point these days. Please keep sending requests!
---------------
Spencer knows it is inappropriate, but he can't help it. You're coworkers, and that itself sets a boundary, so he shouldn't be thinking of trespassing.
But the crush he has on you seems to grow every day.
He doesn't know if it is your beautiful smile, the kindness you show in everything you do, or the enthusiasm you put into every task you are committed to. Since the moment he saw you pass the bullpen glass doors, Spencer knew he was damned.
From that moment, Spencer knew he wanted to know you and learn everything about you. About what you liked, what you hated, and what your fears and dreams were. Everything.
But not much after that revelation in his mind, he understood it wasn't going to be easy to get to you.
You were extremely shy and reserved.
In fact, your first interaction - when Emily introduced you both - consisted of a wave of your hand and a timid 'nice to meet you.'
He thought as time went by, you would loosen and become less bashful and quiet. And in part, he was right. As the months passed, you began to feel more comfortable within the team. You laughed at Luke's jokes, you commented on Rossi's stories, and you could even - when the stars aligned - crack a joke yourself to Tara or Matt.
But beyond that, no one knew much about your life outside of the BAU, unlike JJ, who always talks about her kids and her husband, or Matt, who talks about his kids, too. Or Tara, who recounts her failed dates. Or the same Luke who always shows photos of Roxy.
You, on the other hand, seemed to be an enigma. But Spencer Reid loved decoding enigmas.
At first, he turned his interest in you out of mere scientific curiosity. However, internally, he knew it wasn't just that.
It started with small random questions about the times you worked together: Is this coffee okay? What was the last book you read? Do you think we should buy some donuts for the team?
If you were honest, it picked your interest why, from all people, Dr. Spencer Reid was so adamant in making conversation with you.
From what you knew and from what the team said, Spencer was not a person very interested in things other than work or books. But suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked you what the last movie you saw was or something like that.
You always answered his questions; however, you would have liked to be much more talkative and engage in longer conversations, but your nature stopped you.
'What if I don't have anything more interesting for him to say?'
'Does he just talk to me because he feels sorry for me?'
And that was the big issue: you have never had problems with the way you live your life. You're pretty satisfied with what you do in your job and out of it, too. But you have always thought you are too 'simple' to entertain people's interest.
And to be honest, being surrounded by people with so much experience and big things happening in their lives still intimidates you a bit. So, you usually refrain from talking too much about yourself or anything for that matter.
But with Spencer, things are a bit different. He's always checking on you but respects your boundaries. He has learned that sometimes you just don't want to talk, and he doesn't push.
Despite his interest beyond the professional, Spencer would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Being able to share time with you will have to be enough for him.
In a way, he has become your protector. He is your backup during interrogations or in situations where you can feel awkward, like the times when some police officers tried to flirt with you and got too close. Sure, you know how to turn them down, but sometimes guys don't get the memo and keep pushing. You're too shy to yell or be aggressive about it.
The team also understands the way you are, and they know it does not make you any less professional. However, they have always been careful not to take you too much out of your comfort zone.
---------------
A whole two weeks and five murders later, the team is stuck trying to catch an unsub who has preferences for killing women after club nights. The profile says he is not interested in just any woman but in those between 25-30 years old who like to flirt with several men in the clubs. But it is not just any type of flirting; it is the type that is initiated and dominated by them. In short, he likes to kill women who are the opposite of submissive. He sees them as predators on a hunting ground.
Another finding in victimology is that the women he kills, in addition to having a specific age range, have very similar physical characteristics. And similar to you.
All his victims have your build, eye color, hair color, and height. It gets to be creepy to a certain point. And it's something difficult to ignore.
Bouncing information and possible strategies, the team agrees they need to be proactive to get him to show up before another killing happens.
"Okay, what options do we have?" Emily asks.
"The witnesses haven't gotten us anywhere," Luke complains.
"Although we've narrowed down his hunting grounds," Rossi shrugs.
"Yeah, we know the clubs where he likes to hunt," JJ backs Rossi.
"But although the profile, we have yet to learn about what to look for there. I mean, we know what the unsub wants, but not how he looks like." This time, it's Tara who speaks.
You've rarely seen Emily bite her tongue when she wants to say something, but it's clear that she has something on her mind, and she doesn't know how to put it, or maybe the problem is something else. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and she looks back at you; what do those eyes say? They look like they're even apologetic.
It's a fraction of the time before she comes back to behave like herself.
"We need to lurk him. It's the only way," she says. And everyone's eyes - yours included - are on her immediately.
"Lurk him?" Matt repeats.
"Yes. And all we know who should be the one going undercover to do that," Emily adds, looking at you this time.
That's it—the elephant in the room.
Of course, you're the ideal candidate. Well, you're perfect in the physical aspect because if we talk about the victim's personality and yours...
There's silence in the room, and you can feel like the team's eyes are all on you.
Do they expect you to say no? To refuse? From your perspective, it's not a question; it's more like the option you all have to catch the guy.
"It's true (Y/N) would be the closest to the unsub type, but there are a lot of things to take into account," Matt says. And you know perfectly well what's behind his words, even if he doesn't say it directly.
And that's okay; it's perfectly plausible they have their doubts. It is not enough to look like the victims for the operation to work.
But if there is one thing you are sure of, it's that you will always give your all to your job, even if that means becoming a completely different person.
"I can do it," you mumbled so quietly that if the AC weren't in the lower setting, people wouldn't have heard you.
"But (Y/N), you know about this guy. It's dangerous," Matt points, a frown on his face.
"Not to mention he likes rough interactions," Luke adds.
"You don't have to do it if you feel uncomfortable." This time, it is JJ who voices her opinion. And you know, that's the closest reason to the team's main concern.
And the fact you can blow up the entire plan.
Spencer stays in silence. Internally he's freaking out thinking of you having to lurk on the unsub, but he knows you are a professional. And he feels a kind of deja vu.
When he was younger, the team would have said the same about him doing something like that. Spencer knows what it's like when people baby you, making you feel insecure. Sure, he hasn't had to worry about that anymore. Spencer is almost forty, and no one would dare to tell him he can't do something. Not after all the things he has been through.
"JJ is right, Bella. You don't have to do it. We can think of another way," Rossi backs JJ.
That's when Spencer notices the slight frown on your face. It's invisible to everyone but him. He knows it's there.
You stay collected, even when everyone on the team has something to say about how bad the idea of you going undercover to lurk the unsub is.
Emily is who stops everyone's rant.
"Guys, hey. If (Y/N) is telling us she can do it, we're going to do it. Of course, we'll be there to back up her and catch this unsub."
And this is how the discussion is settled.
Emily sends everyone out with a task to prepare for the night. Today is Friday, and the unsub will surely be stalking some new victim. The chances are high.
When it's just you and Spencer in the room, he still looks at you in silence.
"Do you also think I'll not be able to pull off this mission and I'm going to ruin everything?"
You downcast your gaze, exhaling deeply.
"No. I don't think that," Spencer clarifies, and you raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "You are more than capable, (Y/N). The team is worried because you'll be out of your comfort zone in a dangerous situation."
"The team? Not you?" You narrow your eyes to him.
You try not to sound accusatory, but if you're as scared as everyone, you also are fed up with the other's doubts.
Spencer closes the distance between you both but doesn't invade your personal space.
"Of course, I'm worried too! I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But I trust you and your judgment."
Your heart does flip-flops, and you're not sure if it's because Spencer is worried or because, despite that, he trusts you—or both.
"You do?" You ask, not so convinced.
Spencer nods and smiles at you.
"And we'll be there when you catch the guy."
If that is the reassurance you need, you don't mention it. Instead, you grin at Spencer as a promise you'll do your job just how you are supposed to.
---------------
You insist on getting ready in your hotel room. The only assistant you ask for is Emily. She was the one who trusted you first in this, so you'll take every piece of advice she can give you before this night starts.
Everyone has a role in the plan.
Rossi will be the chauffeur who will drive you to the club.
Luke and Spencer would be in the club, mingling with the patrons. JJ, Matt, and Emily would be in the van monitoring the whole situation with cameras and earpieces. Rossi would keep his facade as a driver so he could be at one of the entrances. Tara would be at the club, too, eyeing nothing suspicious going on in the bar because there is a chance the unsub is getting help from the bartender.
When you are in front of the mirror applying the last touch of makeup, Emily is looking at you with a stare you can't decipher.
"What?" you ask, and Emily chuckles.
"Please, don't take this in a bad way, but I never thought I would live the day of seeing you using clothing like this. And Jesus, you look so hot!"
Your cheeks redens.
"It's a little bit odd coming from my boss, don't you think?" you muse, smoothing the fabric of your dress.
"Point taken," Emily raises her hands in defense. "Although I know someone who is going to run out of breath after seeing you."
You let out a scoff. It's not a surprise for you. The BAU girls - boss included - have been trying to set you up with Spencer since forever. You don't entertain the idea only because you don't think it's possible and not because you don't like the concept.
"Come on, don't say that. You are not helping to my nerves."
"Sorry, I'll shut up. We should go, though," Emily says, checking her watch.
One of the SUVs drives you to the van parking point. You needed to review the operation details.
At the back of the van - or commander point - JJ, Luke, Tara, Rossi, Matt, and Spencer see you come up with Emily.
For the best US profilers, they're not doing a good job hiding that they are gawking at you. Surely, no one imagined seeing you in such a revealing outfit. Outfit that, without a doubt, suits you extremely well, highlighting all your body attributes.
Spencer feels like he died and was resurrected after seeing you.
"Okay, guys, we need to check the details again," Emily announces.
The plan is in motion, and everyone is in position.
As expected, you arrive with Rossi at the club, who opens the door for you and helps you descend from the car. Rossi gives you a reassuring smile before letting you go.
Like a switch, you are no longer the shy SSA (Y/L/N). Now you are the woman who is going to take what she wants and attract the unsub attention doing that.
Your walk is determined, and your eyes send out flames of confidence to those who look at you. The music is very loud, something that would usually bother you, but not now. This needs to feel like your environment. That's how you like it, you tell yourself.
Almost instantly, you start to attract the looks of men who are eager for a woman like you.
You exude determination, and you don't go unnoticed.
Walking into the club, you make brief eye contact with Luke, who is on the dance floor. You see Spencer perched in a booth, nursing a beer.
At the same time, Tara is stationed at the bar.
"Remember (Y/N); the unsub expects the woman to approach men. The flirt needs to come from you," Emily reminds you by the earpiece hidden in one of the earrings you're wearing.
"Show time," you mumble to yourself.
You walk seductively to the dance floor, where a young man is dancing with a blonde. You approach and whisper something in his ear. That makes the boy completely lose interest in the blonde and start dancing with you. You smile and cling to the man's body, who wastes no time and takes your hips as if they were his possessions.
That dance certainly has nothing innocent about it. You continue whispering things in the boy's ear, and he looks more and more excited. Once you consider it a reasonable amount of time to have attracted attention, you leave the boy alone and head to the bar. Just a few meters away from Tara, a suspicious man is staring at you. You see him out of the corner of your eye as you order a drink. When the bartender passes it to you, you make subtle eye contact with Tara, who nods, indicating that the drink is clean.
You look next to you and see another man not so subtly looking at you. You know the unsub's profile, and you can't be intimidated or dominated by another man. You are the one who calls the shots. Otherwise, this will not work.
Before the man makes his attempt to seduce you, you turn to him, and with a penetrating look and disdainful voice, you stop him.
"Sorry, honey. Don't waste your time. You're not my type," and with that, you leave to move to the opposite side of the club. The guy huffs, and you're almost sure hearing him call you 'bitch' under his breath.
JJ, who's following the cameras inside the club, sees someone who looks suspect.
"Hey, this guy has been peeking at (Y/N) the entire time, and look, he clenched his fists when (Y/N) turned down that guy at the bar."
Emily confirms JJ's observation before giving you the next instructions.
"(Y/N), you're doing great. We have a possible target. So we need to raise the bet."
You know exactly what Emily means. You both had talked about the strategy to follow, having more details about what you should do than the rest of the team.
Matt and JJ look confused at each other but say nothing.
Your next step is to find another dude to seduce before delivering the coup de grace.
Luke and Spencer keep an eye on you. And while Luke is pleasantly surprised by your audacity, Spencer can't help but feel his stomach tighten. He tells himself it's because he is afraid something bad could happen to you, but inside of him, it's that and the fact of seeing you flirt with other men.
Just like you did with the guy on the dance floor, you attract the attention of another man; this time, you take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.
JJ and Matt's jaws drop to the floor. If Tara, Luke, and Spencer could do the same without giving themselves away, they would have done it, too.
As if it were your second nature, you laugh and move to the music. The man seems to enjoy the moment so much that he takes a bold step by leaning in to kiss you. You let him get closer until his lips are almost on yours. But before touching each other, you pull back with a malicious smile.
"Naughty boy. I'm who says if you can kiss or no," you pout, faking disappointment. Dizzed, the guy cocks his head and sees you walk away.
Matt chirps now. "It's him. Look boss," he tells Prentiss, pointing to the same guy JJ saw before.
There is no longer any doubt that it is him. Now you just have to catch him red-handed.
"(Y/N), we got him. It's time for the last play," Emily tells you.
With Emily's instruction, you go to the bar for another drink before heading over to where Spencer is sitting.
He tries to play it off, but he has no idea why you're approaching him.
"Is this seat taken, handsome?" You ask, with your drink in hand.
"N- no. Please," Spencer gestures to the booth on his front, but you opt to perch to his side. Spencer thinks he never has been this close to you. He looks at your eyes, and it's like you are a totally different person. It's a little bit contradictory for him, to be honest. He already likes you just as you are, but this version of you? It's driving him insane.
Some resemblance of your true self looks with a kind of curiosity the nervousness on Spencer. You don't think much about it; you assume he's playing the nervous guy who is baffled by you.
The thing is, Spencer isn't playing. He's definitely baffled by you.
"Are you okay?" You ask him, masking your question with a seductive smile.
"Yeah. Are - are you?" Spencer stutters a bit—something that is perfect for the plan but embarrassing for him.
You get closer to him to speak in his ear.
"This was Emily's idea," you tell him before kissing his ear and gently biting his lobe.
Spencer's breath hitches in his throat, and he thinks he's going to pass out any second. You're not doing it better: your heart is also pumping hard from the adrenaline. Of course, you had imagined something like that with Spencer, but only in your erotic dreams. You wouldn't dare do this on any given day.
You keep teasing Spencer, who, despite the nervousness, tries to play along. If this is the closest he will ever have you, he wants to engrave this in his memory.
"Just a little push, (Y/N). We almost have him," Emily instructs by the earpiece.
You swallow as subtly as possible as you wrap your arm around Spencer's neck, pulling him closer to you.
It's only a second between that action and the fact that you're kissing Spencer like it's your last meal.
Spencer doesn't know how to respond, and you were counting on that; it was enough time for the unsub to notice that you were the one who chose her last prey.
When Spencer is about to reciprocate the kiss, you murmur a 'sorry' into his lips and quickly pull away, giving him a disdainful look—which you hope he understands is fake—before getting up and walking toward the back exit door.
As expected, the unsub follows you towards the back door, and while your back is turned, he believes he has the advantage to attack you. What he doesn't know is that Matt and Luke are ready to lunge at him the moment he tries to touch you.
Everything that happens after is too fast.
The unsub is detained and taken to a patrol car while the team gathers around you, congratulating you on the successful operation. They all apologize to you for their previous apprehensions. You tell them that you understand and that there is no need to apologize. And it's like the switch has been flipped again since you came out of the femme fatale role.
But something is wrong. Spencer is not in the group. You see him a little further away, near the exit door of the club. Emily notices the looks between you both, and she sends the team on different tasks to close the case, leaving you and Spencer there.
There's something in his eyes that you can't decipher. You think it's resentment for using him without warning him what you were going to do.
You shyly approach him.
"It's me again," you tell him, pulling a face. You don't know what to say to make the situation better. Spencer nods.
"Yeah. You did it great, by the way," he compliments you. But it doesn't feel good like Spencer's compliments usually do.
"Look, about the kiss back there-" you start. He needs an explanation as a bare minimum.
"I know. It was fake," Spencer cuts you off.
Those words shouldn't hurt you as they do now. But isn't that the most reasonable thing to believe? The you in the club weren't you, so all you did inside was pretend.
Everything except that kiss.
If it's true you couldn't enjoy it the way you would have liked, you will never forget his lips on yours.
A tense silence takes over the moment. This is not okay.
You can't afford to lie to one of the most important people in your life, even if telling the truth takes you out of your comfort zone.
What the hell! Tonight has already been a total of 180 from a usual day for you.
"It wasn't," you mumble, and you see his eyes flicking to yours in a second.
"What?" Spencer asks, narrowing his eyes at you.
"Everything was fake, but not the kiss," you say with a stadied voice this time.
Spencer's heart races again. If you say you didn't fake it, then what he felt on your part at that moment was real?
"It wasn't fake?" He asks for clarification. You nod.
A smirk forms on Spencer's lips, seeing your cheeks redden.
There you are. The girl he had fallen for in the past two years.
"Well, you know that I am a man of science, right?" he tells you, and you frown because you have no idea where this is going.
"I know," you say with some hesitation.
"And as a man of science, I need evidence of things, you know?"
Now, you are the one who smirks at him.
"Evidence, huh?"
"Yep," he says, emphasizing the 'p' and swaying his body on his feet. You hum.
"I believe I can provide the necessary evidence if you need them," you concede, and Spencer's eyes sparkle with excitement.
Now, he is the one who reaches out and cups your cheeks. Your breathing quickens, but that doesn't stop you from standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips with his.
This time, there is no unsub, no curious eyes are looking at you, there is no rush, there is no femme fatale role, and above all, this is not fake; it's as real as the fact that your heart beats for him, and his for you.
------------------ 
Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers 
2K notes · View notes
cyberm4n · 4 months
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alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 2!
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(i tagged people who commented asking for part 2 but lmk if you want to be untagged)
pt1, pt3
tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix
cw: explicit smut, not thoroughly proofread, lucifer has a daddy kink, still in a hinge type relationship, hints to radioapple if you squint
other: i wrote part of this while very high so if there's a random perspective change just know i was cooking so hard with writing that i forgot to write in 2nd person pov
■ let's be honest neither of them are particularly interested in the other halfs involvement in this equation
■ but it's incredibly hard to deny that they work well together with you in the bedroom
■ when they want to, of course.
■ so there's a silent agreement between them that they usually put their beef aside cause like. they have you atleast.
■ i think alastor would still want to be close though, so most often your head is laid in his lap or he's touching you somehow
■ but there is a VERY strict line of sight he follows because depending on what exactly is going on this position makes it far too easy for the two men to just be staring at each other and that is 100% a no go for them
■ which i mean, fair enough
■ lucifer does tend to get a little possessive on the rare occasion alastor decides he wants to participate a little
"oh sweetheart, daddy is making you feel so good, right?" he would coo at you as he bullies his cock into you again.
alastor, tilting your head back with his hand, claws scraping at the soft skin of your neck. a good portion of your upper body is laid out on him, his other hand pinning your arm down.
"eyes on me, darling" he'd say, only for lucifer to give a particularly rough thrust, trying to get your attention back.
the main ground rule you had set is that they were not allowed to bicker with each other during intimate moments, so after a whine escapes your throat the two set it aside. for now.
■ i feel like alastor is strictly a dom, especially considering most of the time he's not really physically participating
■ lucifer id say is more of a service top. he wants you to feel good and he wants to know how good you feel.
■ i think he'd bottom if you really wanted him too but like only if he gets to make you feel good yk
■ alastor does particularly enjoy watching lcuifer go down on you, seeing you writhe in pleasure and moan so sweetly is like music to his ears.
■ he'd love to broadcast this
■ there is sometimes alastor takes a complete backseat though
■ maybe he's not in the mood or just wanting a different angle
■ so that's how you ended up riding lucifer while alastor gleefully watches from a chair beside the bed
"s'ok princess, you can do it" lucifer would say, hands on your hips as he guides you down on his cock. you squirm and whimper as he stretches you open.
with his guidance you start gently grinding your hips down, and lucifer lulls his head back, sweet praises falling out of his mouth.
"fuck.. that's it. ride daddy's cock. you're such a good girl" he'd moan as he rubs your clit. it's not long before he gets impatient though, wanting to hear more moans coming out of his pretty girl, hands returning to your hips as he bucks into you.
"you like it when he watches?" lucifer practically growls, hips thrusting up harder now. "cmon baby, talk to me" he'd gently tut, slowing down to such a painfully slow pace.
you're practically reduced to nothing, giving a weak moan, both of their smiles growing wider. "such a good duckling, letting daddy get his fill. gonna fill you up princess" lucifer says as he pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, another thing lucifer loved to do.
■ alastor has never been a fan of the more personalized petnames lucifer calls you
■ "duckling" "ducky" "doll"
■ but he has some of his own
you're on your knees in alastors radio tower, the very rare occasion lucifer just isnt feeling up to it. he's never been a big fan of receiving head, and he's just not feeling it today, comfortably sat in a chair.
alastor on the other hand, his hands are wound tight into your hair as you suck him off. "oh my sweet doe, so desperate to please" alastor would purr, feeling your tongue swirl around his cock.
"i understand why you... indulge so often. our little pet is such a people pleaser, isn't she?" he'd chime to lucifer, who doesn't respond, not really atleast.
■ but aftercare
■ oh aftercare from these two is amazing
■ the only time they firmly agree with each other and leave everything else behind is during after care.
■ it doesn't matter which of them you want or what you want they're gonna make it happen
■ if you want both of them that's great! and they definitely won't get mildy possessive of you at all!!
■ lucifer is definitely a big cuddler
■ and i feel like alastor would be about praise and affirmations, especially after playing "bad cop" the whole time.
■ not that he minds that, mind you.
"darling you were amazing, im so proud of you" he'd say in a much gentler tone, stroking your hair as you lay on lucifers chest, whos pressing soft kisses across your face.
lucifers hands trace soft circles on your back as they both murmur affections to you, and when you finally slump your forehead to lucifers shoulder, they both breathe out a smile.
if he's feeling particularly charitable, lucifer will nod to alastor to take you, to cuddle with you. most of the time alastor declines respectfully, still not really prone to expose himself to touch.
but on the rare occasion he takes the offer, switching places as he cuddles into you, lucifer cracks a little smile.
they really do make a good team, don't they?
2K notes · View notes
vampcubus · 1 year
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𝐊𝐍𝐘 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐇𝐂𝐒
a/n: i've been fussing over these for weeks just take 'em ;-;
:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : inosuke, tanjiro, zenitsu, kyojuro, and tengen + wives.
:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : sfw, references to marriage and children.
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𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐀
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— Inosuke is not used to sleeping with other people, and you can tell he’s never been cuddled either. He tenses up and wriggles away the first time you attempt to spoon him in your sleep.
“You really don’t want to cuddle, Inosuke?” you sighed dejectedly.
“Why would I?!” 
You make a sad face and shuffle back to your own bedroll. With Inosuke’s usual total disregard for personal space, you’d thought he wouldn’t mind if you swooped in for a cuddle. He’s very much like a cat in that regard, he only wanted to be touched on his terms.
There’s a moment of silence before you hear grumbling and shuffling, and the next thing you know he’s pressed to your side, the fur of his mask tickling your chin as he tucks his “face” into the crook of your neck.
— Refuses to sleep any other way after that.
— He’ll act betrayed when you take naps without him when he’s readily available. “You took a nap without me?!” his heart is shattered, how could you?
— God forbid one or both of you are injured and get put in separate rooms because as soon as he wakes, he’s sneaking out to crawl into your bed with you. No amount of scolding from you or Shinobu is gonna keep him away for long.
— Tends to spoon you subconsciously, either slipping a leg between yours or wrapping it around you n holding onto you like a backpack. 
— He moves around a lot in his sleep, so prepare to wake up with a foot in your face or from getting kicked. Especially if he’s having particularly engaging dreams, you may or may not be mistaken for some all-powerful beast for Inosuke to conquer in dreamland.
— Inosuke is so god damn hyper in the morning and it can be a lot, especially since he wants you to be up too so you can start a new day together. It’s hard to keep up with his enthusiasm, and sometimes you just turn over and cover your ears with a pillow to drown him out. Most times that'll get your blankets yoinked, and you’ll be beaten to death (not really) with that same pillow.
“HEY DON’T IGNORE ME! WAKE UP!”
— Though sometimes he can be soft. You’ll wake up to a strange weight on your tummy and find him sitting there, staring at you like a cat waiting for its owner to wake up. And sometimes he’ll just lay back down, covering you with his body and nuzzling his face into your neck. And if you lift a heavy hand to play idly with his hair, he might just fall back asleep again.
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𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐎
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— A cuddle bug that wants nothing more than to snuggle up on the futon with you after a long night of demon slaying.
— He’s the type to scoot closer if you move away in your sleep since he will wake up if he doesn’t feel you there anymore.
— Please spoon him. You will not regret it for a moment. He runs warm and is the perfect size for cuddling! Tan sighs so happily when you pull him against you, tucking his head right beneath your chin. Your comforting scent and firm embrace lull him right to sleep.
— Alternatively, he wakes up if he smells your distress, so you’ll never be alone if you have a nightmare. You don’t have to tell him what it was about, but he does insist on staying up with you to comfort you. Even when he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, he’ll pet your head and just talk to you until you’ve calmed down enough to doze off again.
— His duties as the Sun Hashira often keep him away for long periods, and he definitely misses your presence at his side when he stops to rest. It’s simply not the same without the weight of your arm strewn over his waist or the soft sounds of your breathing. He’ll even miss your snoring. That’s why he's always eager to return, all of his worries disintegrating as you gather him in your arms and murmur sweet things to him until he nods off.
— In the summer months, he’ll understand if you don’t want to cuddle, but he’ll want to at least hold your hand. 
— Settling down for the night together is a cherished ritual and he wants to be a part of it. Whether it’s taking pins or accessories out of your hair, or putting it into a protective style for sleeping, he wants to help out. He’s also damn good at giving massages and head rubs, so never be afraid to ask if you need a little more help winding down. That man lives to dote on you.
— Tanjiro rarely has the heart to wake you up early, but he makes you breakfast and leaves notes around your home if he’s gotta run somewhere. He melts into a puddle if he finds you making breakfast early in the morning, domesticity really does it for him.
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𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐀
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— You’ve married a cryptid. I'm so sorry.
— Zenitsu sleepwalks as I’m sure you can imagine. You’ll wake up to him out of bed, standing ominously in the middle of the room.
“Zenitsu honey, come back to bed,” you’d murmur tiredly after the initial shock wears off. Even asleep he bends to your will, crawling back onto the futon to sidle up against you once more. 
— Other times you’ll hear noises coming from the kitchen and find him making a whole meal in his goddamn sleep. Which is quite adorable, but also dangerous like pls you’re going to hurt yourself.
— The times he’s not wandering about, he’s snuggled up to you as close as he can get, face buried in your chest or neck, arms and legs wrapped around you.
— He snores if he’s on his back but it’s soft enough to sleep through.
— Giggles in his sleep if he’s having a good dream (he always says all the best ones are of you ❤︎)
— Zenitsu tends to sleep sprawled out on top of you. Oftentimes he returns from a long day of demon slaying, crawls right on top of you, and crashes for several hours. 
— He’s your weighted blanket <333
— Zenitsu never wants either of you to leave the bed in the mornings. He’ll cling, whine, and plead for “five more minutes.” (but it’s always much longer than that) 
— Sometimes you can coax him to release the death grip around your waist with promises of his favorite breakfast or endless kisses, other times you’ll just have to cope with being late to places.
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𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐊𝐔
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— Deep sleeper!! with you anyways. As soon as he’s out, very little will wake him.
— Kyo’s definitely a cuddler! And the best suited for it too since he radiates heat like a furnace. It’s stifling during the summer months, but he truly can’t bear to be parted from you. Sleeping light or nude would be best, not like you’ll have to worry about getting cold when your husband is a literal space heater. 
— He’s an absolute dream during the colder months, and you know he takes full advantage of the weather as an excuse to snuggle every second of the day.
— Mumbles in his sleep every now and then. It’s usually gibberish or a breathy chuckle, but sometimes you can discern whispers of “tasty” and bits and pieces of your name.
— Kyojuro becomes reliant on your presence to sleep over time. It happened so slowly he didn’t realize his dependency until he found himself lying wide awake and restless out in the field. 
— He swore he could fall asleep anywhere before he met you but now… now he needs the sound of your soft snores next to his ear. He needs the feeling of your warm body against his. How was he supposed to sleep without someone there to hog the blanket? or crawl on top of him in the middle of the night when close just wasn’t close enough?
— Worst of all, you aren’t there to pet his hair and whisper sweet nothings to him as he wakes up — it’s those moments he wouldn’t trade for the world. You always treat him with such care, allowing yourself to be held hostage in bed until he also awoke, even when his profession meant his rest stretched on into the afternoon hours.
“The Flame Hashira lives!” you’d sing playfully as he blinks the film of sleep from his eyes, staring up at you with nothing but love and adoration. You’d lean down to kiss his lonely forehead, but not before purring your eagerly awaited utterance of “Good morning, baby.”
His eyes flutter closed as your lips brush over his forehead, grinning so widely his cheeks dimple.
“G’morning, darling flame,” he’d rasp in that rumbly morning voice that makes your cheeks feel warm. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”
— Kyojuro tends to nod off while he’s got his head resting on your lap during dates, especially if you start playing with his hair. He wakes up later to find you’ve also drifted off while sitting up, slumped forward just slightly. Your hair frames your face, the late afternoon sun casting an ethereal glow onto you.
— Napping together is quite a regular occurrence, especially when your duties tend to keep you up during the evening hours. If you’re a slayer too, your sleep schedules match up rather nicely, meaning you’ll be frequently found in a tangle of limbs somewhere.
— If you have children, you’ll often find them knocked out cold with their father. (he’s the type to fall asleep with a baby on his chest) it’s the kind of scene that puts tears in your eyes and makes you sink to your knees. It’s all too tempting to join the cuddle pile with your husband and children.
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𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐍 𝐔𝐙𝐔𝐈 + 𝐖𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒
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— Tengen snores, but not as loud as Suma. The two of them are making harmonies while Makio and Hinatsuru hardly make any noise at all. Though the three of you can all agree you wouldn’t be able to sleep without the sound of your lovers’ snoring after a while.
— They all say goodnight to one another which is very adorable.
“Goodnight Suma.” “Goodnight Hina.” “Goodnight Makio.” “Goodnight Lord Tengen!!” “Goodnight Y/nnnnn~”
It’s back and forth until everyone is accounted for 
— You five sleep in a tangle of limbs, but it’s the coziest cuddle pile you’ll ever sleep in. Tengen’s been married long enough not to be disturbed by shuffling or moving around since sleeping with various other people requires occasional readjusting no matter how you romanticize it.
— Suma usually demands a spot at your side so she can wrap herself around you like a koala. She does drool, but she usually looks so damned cute doing it that you don’t have the heart to move her away from your shoulder. She’s always whispering to you as everyone settles down for bed, and Makio often scolds her for giggling and keeping the others awake. 
— Prepare for those two to bicker over you, oftentimes literally. They’ll hiss and argue whilst they have their arms full of you.
— Hinatsuru sings you lullabies when you just can’t seem to sleep and plays with your hair. Her fingers scratch lovingly over your scalp, smiling as your eyelids droop further under her gentle affections and ethereal voice. You always wake up with a mouthful of her hair, but it’s so worth it.
— Makio gives excellent head rubs when you have a headache, and although she may pretend that you’re a nuisance, you can tell she enjoys taking care of her partners. She’s a big spoon and likes to hold your hand while she sleeps, blushing furiously when you raise her knuckles to your lips.
— Tengen rarely manages to snag you from his wives’ clutches for a spot at your side, but when he does he wraps his entire body around you and nearly smothers you with his heat. He cutely holds things while he sleeps so expect to wake up in a headlock. And if you’re in his clutches when he goes to roll over, you’re getting rolled over as well. It’s a bit disorienting, but he soothes you with an apologetic kiss on your temple if he wakes you.
— Tengen thinks it’s endearing that you try to hold him just like he holds everyone else, even with him being so big. You don’t seem to mind his size, wrapping yourself around him like a backpack and tucking his head under your chin.
— Mornings consist of detangling and lots and lots of kisses!
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