The Only One | Heath Ledger & Reader
Warning : Don't copy my writing Don't steal my writing. All rights are reserved for my writing
Genre : angst Hurt Broken
Summary : The Breaking Up With Your Boyfriend Heath Ledger..
Word count : 3.k+
The Light Of the sun was making your skin shined while you was sitting on the chair in the kitchen drinking your coffee but your mind was so busy your thoughts was about heath your boyfriend who still sleeping deeply in the bedroom
You loved heath from the bottom of your heart but that was enough he was always busy he never be there for you when you was having depression
You never Felt His Love Again..No Matter What
While your mind was busy just remembering all the beautiful moments and memories with him just remembering his sweet words his kisses his cuddles and how his arms was hiding you from the world
One tear escaped from your eye you wiped it gently by your finger that was enough for you you made a big decision will change everything in your life and his life too
You noticed him walking in the living room making his way to you he was rubbing his eyes gently looking like innocent baby
The innocent face you had always loved..
Heath? - You whispered as looking at him waiting for his raspy morning voice to be heard'
Hey darling..how's your morning - He replied sleepy as getting closer and before his lips touched the skin of your cheek
You put your finger on his lips as looking at him silently
Is everything okay darling? - He whispered as his shiny gaze was staring at yours
We need to talk - you replied calmly as giving him a look to sit down on his chair
He felt nervous and anxious because he knew that tone of your voice the serious tone showing there's nothing to joke about.
I'm listening baby - he explained calmly and you felt his fingers massaged your hand trying to give you some love
He know he spent a lot of time far away from you just filming some movies and be with his friends sometimes he was coming home late and that's why he was trying to make it up by his actions
Heath it's something serious and i hope you understand and listen to every word i will say - you explained as noticed his expression was nervous but he nodded silently
Heath i loved you and you know that right? - you asked him calmly
And i loved you too - he whispered as his fingers keep touching your hand
That word..you know he loved you so much like you did that's made everything you will say hard for you so much
Your heart want to give another chance but your mind..having different opinion
Heath i made a big decision I've been thinking about it from long time - you replied calmly as he keep silent but somehow he felt he knew what the next words
His grip on your hand tighten more as his shiny brown eyes was looking at you begging you to not say the thing he never wanted to hear
Heath I'm breaking up with you - you confessed calmly making him keep silent
His heart was breaking almost stopped beating for a few seconds his mind was trying to realize what did his ears heard from your voice
I'm breaking up with you
You're joking right? Please say you're really joking - he whispered begged you as his fingers keep touching your hands his expression was shocked mixed with nervously
I'm serious - you replied coldly that coldness tone made his heart almost froze he's not feeling your warmth anymore
But why? Why what happened what did you please tell me to make it up i need to know - he asked you as his hands cupped your face and looked into your eyes
You won't left all this love behind your back aren't you?
You keep silent as looking into his shiny eyes he was holding his tears trying to not look weak in front you. He's not embarrassed to be weak but he want to be a fighter for your love
You won't leave me?
You won't let my heart alone?
YES I'M - you spoke loudly as your tears started falling burning the skin of your cheeks making him silent
Why? Just tell me and i will do everything - he whispered as keep cupping your face
It's enough heath you was never there when i needed you..it's been a long time since i felt your love
You confessed everything you was hiding in your broken heart making his tears started falling just like yours too he just realize everything he was doing from a few months
I'm sorry i should be better for you - he whispered as closing his eyes letting his forehead touched yours
But your sorry won't heal me - you whispered making him opened his eyes and looked into yours
Let me make it up..let me show my life - he whispered as he was leading closer to you he wanted something
He wanted his lips to touch yours
No heath it's enough - you replied as pulled away from him and letting your foots standing you up
He keep silent but he stand up like you he started walking towards you and his arms wrapped around your waist hugging you from behind tightly
I can't let you go..i can't give up on myself - he whispered softly against your ear his tears was falling he can't fight anymore
You keep silent trying to ignore him completely as your body tries to escape from his but his grip was tight as his mouth close to your ear
You want to leave me? Put me behind your back and walked away not looking back at me - he whispered softly against your ear
Not hugging me or kissing me anymore?
Not feeling your arms around me in the night
Not letting my breath touching yours
Is that what you want Baby?
Yes - you whispered making his heart broken he never wanted this answer he never wanted to give up on you but deep inside he knew
He can't force himself on you..he can't hurt you by keep trying like that
Do me a last favor and i promise..i will let you go - he whispered as turned you to face him
You looked at him silently but suddenly he cupped your face put his lips against yours in passionate kiss
He kissed you and his arms wrapped around your waist pulled you closer to him because he knew in few minutes he won't be able to touch you or kiss you to feel your body against his
He wanted to show you his love for the last time maybe you will change your mind
You wrapped your arms around his neck and letting your fingers touching his curly blonde hair and his tears was falling but you didn't pulled away because it's for the last time and..
The Last Kiss
Please it's us..just remember everything - he whispered between the kiss as your fingers wiped his tears from his cheek
You pulled away from the kiss as looking into his dark brown eyes for the last time that look made him realize he will never be enough to change your mind he can't do anything to you
His eyes watching you started walking upstairs making your way to the bedroom to take your stuff and everything will remained him of you
I promised you to let you go even when i never wanted it to happen - he whispered to himself as watching you disappear upstairs.
He let you entered the bedroom to take everything about you away from his apartment even when he adored you
Even when your breath your touch your smile and voice was just like life to him
Even when you're..
The Only One..
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Disco Elysium: First Impressions
Within the last two weeks I've finished writing my BA, put together my new gaming PC and caught a cold. So there is no better time than right now to eventually start playing Disco Elysium.
This game has been recommended to my by almost every single person I talk to about games. And the things I knew in advance were:
- The art style is impeccable,
- There skill tree is rather cryptic for a video game,
- You start the game as a character who has no idea what is going on or who he is,
- There was a murder.
In the spirit of the completely oblivious main character I decided to go through my first playthrough similarly oblivious i.e. to not google things. This has proven too hard to maintain as soon as I had to assign some points to some traits and got frustrated about not knowing what do all those mean. After struggling for a while, I asked my partner to explain some of this stats to me. After realizing that I can't comprehend them without an indepth discussion about the game, I have simply based my decision on his recommendation to apply 4 to Intellect as well as Psyche and 2 respectively to Physique and Motorics. After going for Conceptualization as my signature skill, because it sounded fun, I entered the story itself.
Playing without googling has its perks. As a pretty unexperienced gaming gal I'm not good at comparing stats or making thought out decisions about skilling up. I usually just go for what's most fun or interesting and then try to do more strategic decision making as I go. This attitude vibes well with Disco Elysium as I stumble through the world having not a clue what is going on. I refuse to remember my name. I refuse to look at the corpse (until I have a good chance of not puking). I leave conversations half baked with intention of returning with some more skill points. I like how the game teaches you about different traits. It makes leveling up way easier for me. ATM I put my skill points in the traits that increase a positive outcome of rolling the dice in a few specific cases. Like opening the Clip Board of the Ledger, cuz I hope my badge is in there. I refuse to call it in that 've lost it. For now...
In the conversation I'm following my gut. My personal gut, not the one of the guy I'm playing as. It's fun. It's super fun. But I'm also happy to know more and then o a playthrough where I follow some animalistic instincts or present more as a Chad-drunk-muscle than a being with the ability to compose coherent thoughts. As a slack off, who asks for money, food and funny stories instead of investigating. But for now, I am a sorry cop. And it's kind of true to my own character. How sad...
I like learning about the world of Disco Elysium. About the internal probably more than about the external. But I guess that is partly the point. My one concern with the dialogue options is the same as with, for instance, Firewatch. Some lines may get slightly different meaning depending on how they are said. While talking with the what-was-his-name racist by the newspaper stand I can answer something like: "I can see what you mean" in an agreeing or judgmental tone. I don't like the uncertainty regarding which one is it in the game.
[edit:] I also refused to barge into the room next to mine, since there was a lady, who I just offended with a very vulgar proposition, taking a shower. I suspect I’m missing something because of that decision.
To be continued...
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