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mego42 · 3 years

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Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them.

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers

another grief study!

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!!

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!!

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio?

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is?

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

#fingers crossed these links are right i did not double check #i like to live on the edge #truly mind boggling amount of fluff on this list i surprised myself on that one #no i will not at any point get my shit together enough to write out thoughtful commentary this is a shit posting blog first last and always #fic recs #gg fic #nbc good girls #i'll come up with a tag for these if i ever do them again #check back 37 years from now #or ~~~~~~march #whatever that means

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fanfic-corner · 3 years

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Under 10,000 Words

16/12/20 - I can never figure out what my favourite length of fic is, but I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes I want a huge, 200,000 word journey, and sometimes I just want a quick drabble. Anyway, here are some fics which are all between 2,000 and 10,000 words, organised by the word count.

Sleep Deprivation by Honey_Honey on AO3. (2,313 words).

Tags: Cute, First Kiss.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: The one where killing monsters leaves Dean without a week of sleep, and Cas has to deal with the consequences.

Notes: This was so fluffy and cute and I can totally imagine Dean overthinking everything while Sam just finds the whole situation hilarious.

That One Time Sam Winchester Googled Something Weird and It Had Pretty Awesome Results by quitepossiblyjanuary on AO3. (2,587 words).

Tags: Romantic Fluff, First Kiss, Stars, Humor, Courtship, Short & Sweet.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: In which Sam Googles something and his curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. Or him. Or anyone. It’s a pretty awesome feeling.

Notes: This was so adorable! Gabe was so sweet, and his mind reading skills made me laugh.

What Can’t Be Seen by destieldrabblesdaily on AO3. (2,639 words).

Tags: Soulmate AU, author!Cas, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Written for this prompt: Soulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

Notes: This was really cute and such a sweet and funny idea.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood on AO3. (3,673 words).

Tags: POV Castiel, Fluff, Sign Language, Castiel in the Bunker, Canon Compliant, Sharing Clothes, Asexual Castiel, Gentle Dean, Non-Explicit Sex, Domestic, Established Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: “Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice”.

Notes: This has to be one of my favourite fics of all time, even though the first time I read it I hadn’t even met Eileen yet! I’m still so pissed off that she wasn’t in the finale (unless we’re counting Blurry Wife?).

surely heaven wants for you by cenotaphy on AO3. (3,782 words).

Tags: Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Heaven, Coda, Post-Finale, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean, Outdoor Sex.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas doesn't come to him. Dean can't really argue with that, given the circumstances. In all the history of balls in courts, he thinks there might never have been a ball as thoroughly in a court as this one is in his. He drives for what feels like a long time but might just be a single sunny afternoon, or maybe years (time's funny here, Bobby had said), just enjoying the music, the shifting landscape outside his window, the hum and creak of the engine. Finally the forest opens up and the road narrows down in a way that he's fairly certain wouldn't typically happen on any kind of earthly interstate, and he glides the car to a halt at the edge of a lake.

Notes: This was so beautiful and such a interesting exploration of Dean’s feelings!

a quick salt and burn by xylodemon on AO3. (4,609 words).

Tags: Episode Related, Cemeteries, Case Fic.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "Fuck," Dean mutters, wincing as pain throbs in his shoulder and neck. After the ghost chucked him into the hedge, he hit the ground like ton of bricks and clipped an exposed tree root so old it was practically petrified. "So much for a quick salt and burn."

Notes: This is adorable and hilarious, so a double win.

Funny Bone by PallasPerilous on AO3. (4,933 words).

Tags: Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Skeletons, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Canon Divergence, Mild Gore.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland. It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Notes: This has to have been one of the funniest fics I have ever read, but oh boy did I feel bad for poor Cas.

Grace by july_19th_club on AO3. (5,164 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Resurrection, Reciprocated Confession.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: A man dies. What happens next will shock you. [script]

Notes: This was written beautifully, and now I really want to see this filmed! So much better than the ending we got.

(un)conventional by imogenbynight on AO3. (6,100 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, mechanic!Dean, Writer!Castiel, Conventions, Fluff.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Spec Lit Con--Speckly Con, to it’s regular attendees--is an annual weekend-long event held in Chicago, dedicated to science fiction, fantasy and otherwise speculative literature. This year Dean's favorite author, C.J. Novak, is appearing as a panelist. Naturally, he shells out the cash for an all access pass.

Notes: This was so adorable that I nearly screamed in the corridor outside my computer science lesson. Plus, the writing was absolutely gorgeous! I miss conventions :(

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words)

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you’re going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Event Horizon by Winglesss on AO3. (6,442 words).

Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel, Strangers.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Notes: I don’t know if that kind of suicide prevention scheme exists, but this fic is very sweet.

I Think That’s Mine by palominopup on AO3. (6,804 words).

Tags: Fluff, AU, Reporter!Dean, Writer!Cas.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: A mix up at the Atlanta Airport places Dean Winchester's laptop in someone else's possession. A series of calls and texts bring two men together.

Notes: This was so cute, Cas was so sweet, and Dean was an icon.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime on AO3. (7,865 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief, Explicit Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Declarations of Love, Canon Compliant, Minor Injuries.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Maybe it’s the cynic in him. The hunter, always under the surface of any quietude he ever found. Or maybe it’s just that he has always had trouble with blind faith. But after a while (a blink? A decade? A century?), Dean raises his eyebrows, looks around, and says—

“Uh. No.”

It’s so close. Just so slightly imperfect. And maybe, he analyzes, maybe that’s the final knell of this bell called contentment. Dean’s experience with happiness has always been that last rise in the road, right before it turns. Right before fate comes barreling around the corner head on. He turns in his spot on the bridge, and suddenly Sam is like a cellophane film through which he can see the light streaming, and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue is much, much older a memory than it should be.

“Oh, you’re good,” he says, and means it.

Notes: What a great idea, and written so well! I always thought the show could have done so much more with djinns, but never mind.

In the House of the Rising Bun by imissmaeberry on AO3. (9,046 words).

Tags: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baker Dean, Barista Sam, College Campus, Poet Castiel, Mutual Pining, Daddy Issues, Background Sam/Jess, Past Balthazar/Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester only has three rules concerning the cafe he and his brother Sam own, “House of the Rising Bun”.

1. Any and all opportunities to make a pun will be taken. 2. Free regular coffee with your student ID (If you want some of that fancy nonsense you gotta pay, sorry kids). 3. Anyone and everyone is always welcome.

Between Dean running the shop full-time and Sam helping out whenever he isn’t in class, there really isn’t a whole lot of time for romance for either of them. But that all changes when they gain a new regular - some writer from London - who may or may not have the bluest eyes Dean’s ever seen.

Notes: First of all, the puns were amazing and I am willing to fight people on that. Secondly, that was so sweet and funny I am afraid I might have to disappear under mysterious circumstances and open my own cafe…

I hope you enjoy these! I haven’t read any new fics for this list and even then there were way too many to put on one list, so expect a sequel at some point in the future!

#fic recs #destiel #sabriel #saileen #fanfics #supernatural #spn #spnfamily #10000 words #2000-10000

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wholesome-ereri-week · 5 years

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Wholesome Week Rules, Guidelines and the WINNING PROMPTS below!

Hello everyone, I would like to start with some guidelines.

•“Wholesome” does not mean no conflict.

•“Wholesome” does not mean only fluff.

•“Wholesome” can be smut.

• “Wholesome” isn’t really calling someone a ‘little shit’ or a ‘shitty brat’. So, no degrading language, please. (Example: slut/slutty, bitch, bastard)

• You don’t have to do all of the prompts if you don’t want to

• You don’t have to do them in order

• Late submissions are welcome

Wholesome in our context just means “stories, arts, graphics and media where our two leading men love each other, don’t hurt the other intentionally, and just treat each other well and with love and adoration.”

Keep the resolutions happy and sweet. We want the bois to be happy. We want to showcase some good, healthy dynamics. No relationship is perfect. Communication can suck, but working together and having each other’s backs? That’s some good and wholesome content. Supporting your lover even if they can be a hot mess sometimes? That’s the good stuff. Levi and Eren can argue and be upset with each other but it gets resolved and yay! Happy day!

Angst for angst’s sake? Please, keep it light. Conflict doesn’t have to mean angst. And angst doesn’t have to be your conflict. Everyone can feel that dread and anxiety but it doesn’t have to be everything. Sometimes a hug goes a long way. And remember, happy day at the end.

But please, keep it to non-violent conflict between the boys. Again, neither one of them should be purposely hitting or hurting each other. We wanna keep this light and sweet and positive.

If you want to go all fluff and puff? Do it. Enjoy yourself.

Wholesome Smut? Sex is beautiful and an expression of love. So, yes, your smut can be ‘wholesome’! Two peens loving each other’s brains out with adoration and fluffy respect? Totally possible.

That being said, please keep to the more vanilla side of sex for this event. Do Levi or Eren nip and bite each other? Okay. Are we drawing blood? Not okay. Can vampires be wholesome? Yes. Just keep it as non-violent as possible. Are there hickeys and little hip bruises left over in that “Afterglow”? Okay.

Are we slapping, hitting, or demeaning someone? Not today.

(Save that for Wholesome Week’s ‘My Kinky Valentine’ Event *wink*)

SHIP DYNAMICS:

Top Levi? Wholesome. Top Eren? Wholesome. Switching or no implied shipping dynamic? Equally as wholesome as the other two.

But due to preferences, we ask that you label your work as such:

•Day X: Grey Hair “The Pigeon of Peace”

NSFW. Contains Switching.

•Day X: Mermaids “A hidden treasure”

NSFW. Contains Top!Levi/Bottom!Eren

•Day X: Afterglow “From Jaeger, With Love”

NSFW. Contains Top!Eren/Bottom!Levi

•Day X: Wedding Day/Night “All Roads Led to You”

SFW. Contains no dynamics.

•Day X: The Perfect Gift “Root beer”

SFW. Contains Top!Levi

This way we can let people pick and choose content as they are comfortable with it. Although, I do ask that everyone considers reading, enjoying and digesting content that they may not usually give a chance. It’s a beautiful thing to try something new. And who knows? Maybe you make a few new friends or brighten up someone’s day.

Comments are encouraged. But again, let’s all respect different tastes and dynamics. Be nice in your comments. Not your favorite dynamics? Don’t say “I usually hate XXXX but yours is nice.”

Why not try “The shading is beautiful! I love their expressions! The way you write is wonderful! I loved the story!”

This is a “Wholesome Week” and we should all do our best to treat each other with respect, civility and show that we support our fandom and the people in it. Think of your feedback as a hug via text. Hugs are good. And we have people just starting out and taking a huge leap of faith joining in. Let’s treat them with the love we would want to receive. If creators are scared, they don’t share.

Were you doing a gift for another member of our fandom? Great! Mention them in your summary. @ them so they can see your lovely gift! Knock out two birds with one stone. You’re totally welcome to do that.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Since this is a ‘wholesome event’ we won’t be dealing in violence or extreme kinks. Trigger warnings shouldn’t be necessary since we won’t need them for this event. Are you very set on a story that may have a trigger? Please message us here at ‘Wholesome Week’ and we can discuss it.

MY PROMPT DIDN’T WIN:

Have you considered… incorporating it into a prompt that did make it to the final seven? I’m rooting for grey hair. So hard. I want this so bad. You have NO idea. Let’s say it doesn’t win. But ‘Body Worship’ does. Who is to say you can’t lavish and get some good loving on your greyed out lover? Love is supposed to be for life, right? I could incorporate ‘grey hair’ into that while keeping “Body Worship” the main focus.

In fact, the prompts are meant to inspire. It doesn’t have to be 100% what your story is. Make it your own, make it unique.

Do a loosely related string of vignettes. Do a short, multi-chapter fic while incorporating a prompt into each chapter. Do one shots. Do singular pieces of art or graphics. Are you a drabble expert! Amazing. Wanna sing a song? Awesome! A short radio play! Dang, you are inventive, you sweet and beautiful human being you!

POSTING:

On top of the above tagging, I ask that you mention the blog by name (wholesome-ereri-week) so we can find you and reblog your work to share it with all of fandom!

Please use the tags: “wholesomeereri2019” and “wholesome ereri week” to help others (including me and my royal ‘we’) find your posts and other people’s posts easier.

Our new posting dates are: November 17, 2019 to November 23, 2019. We changed the dates so everyone can have enough time to participate without feeling super rushed. We will also take late submissions. But remember to send us a message with a link to your post so we don’t accidentally miss it.

AND NOW! For the final tally and our seven winners:

Day 01: Marriage/Domestic Life/Family Life/Kids (37 votes)

Day 02: Body Worship (36 votes)

Day 03: “Firsts” ex. Kiss, Hug, Date, holding hands, love making, etc (33 votes)

Day 04: Afterglow (26 votes)

Day 05: Grey Hair (24 votes)

Day 06: Thunderstorm (22 votes)

Day 07: Cuddling in general (21 votes)

Note: I had no hope that “Grey Hair” would make it to the final seven. I’m losing my mind. I’m just incredibly super happy and losing it inside. I don’t even know what I’m going to do. “The Pigeon of Peace” is a gag. I thought mermaids and thunderstorm would overtake it. Truly, a dark horse. And it feels like “Marriage/Domestic Life” has won by a near landslide with “Body Worship”. Both of these have been clear front runners but anything could have happened since yesterday. And afterglow made it too. Oh my gosh. So many good and wholesome prompts. I’m looking forward to see what everyone will do for “Firsts”. And the mixing and matching of prompts is going to be so amazing if anyone else does it. Thank you to everyone who voted and shared their opinion. And thank you so much for all the messages I received. And for the kind words I was sent. Thank you all very, very much.

#wholesome ereri week #wholesomeereri2019 #ererievents #first wholesome week #ereri #riren #ererien #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #eren yeager #remember all ship dynamics are welcome

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sixmorningsafter · 4 years

Text

An Apology Letter, SMA Love Letter, & Gabi Appreciation Letter

Let me begin this review by apologizing. Not just for waiting almost a year to review this insanely awesome chapter (don’t even tell me I don’t have to; I’ll drive up state just to take you by the shoulders and shake you and that silly thought out of your head; it is an honor and privilege to tell you how awesome you are!), but also for the tone of this review feeling so haggard. 2018 was, as Damon told Kai, “not a good look”, and I feel like it’s digested all the gall and sass and shit-starting energy I usually dole out for these reviews, so here I am, a regurgitation, still holding to the fact that you’re a fabulous writer who deserves all the praise I can possibly muster for your efforts. Despite having a life (or not, considering, ya know, med school), you still post on this page; you’re clearly still carrying the headcanons and the plot and the characters with you. I know the feeling of having the desire to write but feeling too tired, physically and emotionally, or disinterested or unmotivated, or whatever so I can’t even sit in your inbox like “hey love sma! You write soooo good. You’re awesome! and uh when are you gonna update?” Of course, I’d love an update, but I also know you. You want to put out your best work, what you’re at least 95% proud of, and it’s so obvious in Chapter 17.

Side note: I reread Chapter 16 and my review to give myself context and bolster some pizazz just for you.

REPLY: Let me begin my response to this review by apologizing for MY TEARS. Cass, you’re just an absolute light in this bitchy eclipse of a world and your ridiculous kindness radiates off every sassy, stubborn, talented, vulnerable, open-hearted part of you and I’m so, so happy I get to call you a friend. The fact that you took the time to write all of this despite your ridiculously busy, full, grad student, WEDDING-PLANNING (at the time) life, largely because you knew it’d put an idiotic smile on my face? You’re just a gem of a human being. I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying to keep my responses as succinct as possible because I’m so eager to post this and share your insights and writing with everyone else, partly because they always make me and my dumb writing look smarter than it actually is, but mostly because it’s a crime to keep it from the world. Anyway, onward and upward:

Bamon + Kai + the Pig Cadaver

To remind the audience, Bamon had a pretty petty and deep-cutting fight last chapter; Damon got over himself, with the help of Kai (kinda), and now Bamon are on better terms. That being said, these two dumbies are so… nerve-wrackingly good at detaching themselves from conflict. Like, I feel like Steroline would have put up walls and ruminated hard on something as harsh as Damon’s mention of Bonnie’s shitty life, but Bamon are King and Queen of sweeping the bad shit under the rug.

REPLY: I think it’s so cool that you point that out because it made me realize that’s one of my favorite things about writing Bonnie and Damon: they’re ability to both deliver and take hits. They’ve both gone through some really dark, messed up stuff - the kind of stuff people with more traditional upbringings tend to tiptoe around because they don’t know how to talk about it - so it’s almost like to be accepted in their entirety, they need to be around people who are unafraid of that stuff. Unafraid to go there. Unafraid to bring it up, unafraid to cross lines sometimes, unafraid to make jokes about messed up experiences and accept them about each other without flinching. I think they can recover quickly from those kind of blows from each other because in a weird way, at least they’re being acknowledged. At least someone’s talking about it without getting that wincing, deer-in-the-headlights look and acting like it’s a forbidden topic. Obviously in the last chapter, Damon took it too far and was trying to actively alienate her with his comments, but in general I really enjoy writing their budding sense of familiarity with each other. Anyway, good thing I’m being succinct right the review hasn’t even really started GOOD LORD.

Damon jolting Bonnie like she’s being electrocuted is so unbearably cute to me. So domestic. So friendly but also playful but also coupley… I’m dead.

“Wow, you’re really going full nerd.”/”Oh… you sweet summer child, you haven’t even begun to see full nerd.” In my previous review, I (demanded) mentioned wanting more nerd!Bonnie, and you delivered. What an honor, truly.

“It was like he’d [Kai] never left, except now he was surrounded by a bunch of wires and a mini Tesla coil.” I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but I think it’s so funny and silly that you embedded some serious sci-fi shit in this romcom fic. Like, we’re really out here, considering is Kai an alien? Can Kai really teleport or “dissolve in and out of the time-space continuum as he pleases”? He’s not just creepy or socially inept. He’s also fucking extraterrestrial.

lmfao in chapter 16 or 15 or whichever it was where they explored Kai’s apartment while he went swan-hunting, I had to make a choice about whether to keep things semi-realistic or just go balls-to-the-wall cray re: Kai and I think we all know which route I decided to take 😂

“Still, it was a surprisingly appealing thought, the idea of having some kind of effect on him.”/ “Snagging the unsnaggable.”/ “Ruffling the unruffable.” We out here, making up words and shit; my Word doc spell-check is having a field day. But her observation about having dealt with guarded people kind of relates to what I was tryna say earlier on: both Damon and herself are very guarded, and her ability to see that nothing truly sticks to him is reflective of that same for her.

“It was like he was coated in oil, like his entire personality was adapted to glide through life without ever catching on anything around him.” / “Even the good things.” Talk about knife to the gut (why yes, this is a reference to the future Steroline conversation, which I am using to demonstrate how fucking enamored I am by this understanding of Damon’s character). I feel like Damon started as the kid thinking “if things are good, then something bad is gonna happen” to “good? bad? what are those and, more importantly, who fucking cares?”

Just another day of Cass making me feel like a far better writer than I am because she always gets exactly what I’m going for and then explains it better than I do. That’s precisely his trajectory, man. He went from a kid with no control of his own life, constantly bracing for impact, to a kid who realized nothing can control if you don’t give a fuck. If good things don’t make you happy and bad things don’t make you sad, you’re always at equilibrium. You’re always at a steady-state. And most importantly, you’re at a steady-state that no outside factor controls.

“Maybe the oil coat went more than skin-deep.” Foreshadowing! I like this conversation a lot though. Insight about Bonnie’s past (another gracious gift promised last review, thank you SMA goddess for such a blessing) and her PTSD and embarrassment about the shit show that is her parents.

Bonnie’s “I wish I could turn it off like that.” Speaking of shit shows, nice nod to canon.

😂😂😂

“Was that—vulnerability?” Yes baby, revel in it! Idk if you did this on purpose, but it’s like Damon is leaning into his previous realization of her cracking his “varnish” (just realizing his description of a glossy seal is an almost visual parallel to Bonnie’s description of him being slick with oil (I’m thinking like petroleum)… anyways). Like, “she’s already seen me lose my fucking mind in the cellar, being a little vulnerable about it won’t hurt, right?” I mean, yes, but also, Bonnie is a shit-starter too, babe.

“Were those—emotions?” / “I hate knowing you.” / “Are you okay? Do you need some water?” and later paired with “How does it feel to be a human being?” / “Stupid.” / “That means you’re doing it right.”

You know how I feel about Kai’s “Friends!” He is so weird, and I love it, but I’m also afraid that I love it. Thanks!

Yeeeesssss, I wanted to show him slowly starting to adjust to the fact that she’s seen things. Him. And you know what, here they are anyway. The world’s still spinning. She’s still being her weirdo competitive self. So maybe it’s not the worst thing to have (albeit accidentally) let someone in a little. A big motivation for me re: Bamon in this chapter was getting them to the point where they eased into being comfortable sharing things with each other. Not everything, obviously, but way more than they share with the average person. Kind of like a ‘well we’re stuck in this ridiculous situation and we’re unexpectedly more alike than we think so maybe we just lean in a little’. So I’m really glad that’s what you got out of this, WOOT.

Kai’s everyone’s friendly neighborhood son/serial killer and I think it’s best to just let yourself adore him and hope for a minimal body count.

The Matt Talk

I think I already told you I was so emotionally distraught this chapter. If you’re new to SMA, hi I’m Cassandra and I’m always an emotional mess when it comes to Gabi’s writing. But, this was some next level shit. You’ve said so many times you’re worried about how these emotional scenes go, but like fuck dude. You went hard, and it was so difficult for me not to be actually crying. Idk, I’ve never been in Caroline’s situation or known anyone to go through this, but the whole injustice of it, you know? The possibility that any woman could be going through this or has gone through this. I’m not belittling the men who have been abused in their relationships, of course. What I am saying is if I am taking this personally, having never experienced it, but as a female, knowing this could very well happen, that means your writing is fucking spot on.

Full-disclosure, your entire breakdown of this scene is just the most beyond fantastic thing that I don’t even want to break it up with shitty responses. I’m pretty sure reading your insights about it affected me more than the entire multi-week process of actually writing it, so idk how you did that but here we are. For the millionth time, your responses are the only reason I think maybe all my fumbling and exasperated editing is somehow producing something half-okay. I’m dying whale noises. Bye.

Setting the scene up with Steroline in the tub, for being their poetic selves tryna be symmetrical in their emotional moments and emphasizing how thick the silence around them is… oof dude. I know you have that “movie” mentality when you write, and idk how you fucking do it, but it definitely translates. Idk if you’ve ever been in a moment like this, where you need to say something of Importance to someone of Importance, but your voice has just gone on vacation for a minute, and you’re sitting there with an empty tongue, and, in my experience, the person tries to prompt you about what you’re trying to say, but I’ve been in moments like this. So, this set up was so poignant for me. Luckily, she’s talking to Stefan, the boy who listens to even Rebekah earnestly and wholeheartedly.

Caroline’s Gazania daisies metaphor: shit breaks my heart. How long did she think about this? The metaphor is like… a detachment. Like, how light bends in water. Her story is the light, the flower metaphor is the water, allowing the story to refract, to be that much more removed from the reality.

“A flicker of intimacy based not on things they’d experienced together, but rather things they’d experienced apart.” I think it loops back to Bamon too, whether neither are eloquent enough to make that seamless connection. I think that should be the tag line of each ship; these very different people are tied to one another by feeling what they’ve felt and relating it back to what the other(s) has (have) felt.

I think you’ve very skillfully woven canon and SMA for Matt’s story. TVD made him the human golden boy, and SMA has him resentful and dark… and it just goes to show how environment can really shape a character’s outcome. tvd!Matt saw the supernatural as the reason his life was so shitty and suddenly had a purpose; sma!Matt didn’t have that scapegoat, so without rhyme or reason for his shitty circumstance, he fabricated that it was somehow Caroline.

Fucker.

“Senior year was kind of a train wreck” to “We were still okay, though. Still us.” Rereading this part made me seriously think of like… a slingshot. Like, all of this is just leading up to the snap and the release of Matt’s true colors. And how devastatingly it was that Caroline didn’t know, honestly couldn’t know, that it was going to happen.

Shit like Matt being mad at Caroline for proudly blurting out she got accepted into NYU when Vicky had just OD’ed is so fucked up to me. To be actually mad about it. Bro, stay mad about it. But that’s the point, isn’t it? That this was the final straw for him, the last thing to tip him into batshit abusive fuck mode.

As a therapist, I could easily say, he is clearly shaped by his circumstances, he didn’t have enough support or self-esteem to fully develop the core values and strengths that he needed to not become this abusive piece of shit, that there might be some self-awareness by the way he tries to remedy a bad fight with a great breakfast (or a learned behavior to get approval again). Even if I do consider those things, irl and even with Matt, it’s in no way condonable, and I don’t think I could ever be able move from this point of view.

“She’d lived like that for months, a blur of turtlenecks and concealer, of overbright smiles and obsessive thoughts, of guilt and blame and normalizing the abnormal, of questioning if what she thought was happening was actually happening.” / “Could actually be happening.” Just reading this summarizes all the females who are in relationships like this, who question whether their partners’ could actually be raping them… ugh. It breaks my heart even now, writing this review.

(Honestly, I had to step away and resume the next day)

Caroline’s comeback: “He was staring at the old Caroline. The one he hadn’t broken in. The one that ran on gall and instincts, that didn’t dim herself for anyone, that’d jump in front of a bus for the people she loved… She’d grown back into her skin. Unshrunken till she was towering over him, a bright, brilliant light staring down at a meager lick of flames.” This whole bit was so good, so relieving, so satisfying. I know what Matt did still haunts her, but Caroline coming back and reclaiming who she is, even to present time, is so, so satisfying.

“Let’s be real, though, Bonnie could probably beat us both up.” / “Definitely.” – these were my thoughts when Caroline was defending her lol.

The Universe Speech: ilysm but also fuck you for being so good at this lol. I am so mad at how good you are at this, and you’re kinda like shruggy shoulders, I’m-just-trying-my-best. Get your humble ass out of here. “I think you’re a universe. I think you’re full of suns—and comets and black holes and everything in between. And when one sun burns out, you’ll just flare into a million more, unapologetic and infinite, because nothing… not pain, not heartbreak, not even the entire exec board of Emory apparently, can stop a universe from expanding.”

And Caroline immediately clicking with the metaphor? (rewriting her Gazania metaphor story I hope) And she runs with it like, “It couldn’t help but make her feel like maybe she hadn’t lost anything. / Maybe she’d just outgrown it.” and “An infinite, chaotic expanse of dazzling light and annihilating dark… capable of anything but responsible for nothing outside of stretching out toward an invisible horizon fiercely, constantly, even in the face of billions of years of gravity pulling her back”. THIS IS MY SHIT DUDE. First off, this visual representation of a person is so beautiful and inspiring and so full of grace and forgiving, you know what I mean? It just shouts volumes to how okay it is to fail sometimes or to feel Feelings, and how it shouldn’t and couldn’t be used against her. It’s literally the expanded and improved version of “reach for the stars” – more like be the universe, among the stars, and reach for the unknown. BIG OOF.

“I can’t possibly follow that up with my dumb Elena drama” / “Hey, not a competition.” – someone recently quoted someone else to me, saying It’s not the suffering Olympics, and it’s resonated with me so hard, dude.

Steroline throwing back things the others have said, Stefan’s “Whatever nice thing you feel like you have to say, it’s okay” and Caroline’s “You can’t escape me! / I’m unapologetic and infinite!”

I don’t remember if its this chapter or last, but Stefan indulging in Caroline’s playful side, and Caroline recognizing Stefan’s sassypants is by far my favorite Steroline Thing ™ in this story. Parallelly, Bonnie’s Damon-ain’t-shit attitude, and Damon’s she’s-more-than-I-anticipated revelation is my favorite Bamon Thing ™.

I am overwhelm-sion.

I am aegoifhjaeoeagidhy.

That scene took me weeks of editing to get in a remotely publishable place and even then I was like WELP SURE HOPE THIS ISN’T OFFENSIVE FLAMING GARBAGE LOL ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT *POST* so. Needless to say. This response means el mundo. I am in full turtle.

But real quick, exiting emotional turtle stance to say that I feel like you and I have always been super in sync about liking writing that celebrates messiness and imperfections and humanity in all it’s mistake-ridden earnestness so I’m not surprised you liked the universe metaphor as much as I did. Fuck suns and their one-dimensional asses. We stan universes in this bitch. Asteroids. Supernovas. Blow some things up. Crash into some planets. Sink into some really deep darknesses. It’s okay. There will always be bright, brilliant stars all around you, too.

Bamon, Kai, Bonnie’s Feral Sweet Tooth, and The Food Fight

Speak of the devil: “She shook her head, lips curling into a droll ‘get over yourself’ of a smile, and for some reason, something about the look stuck out to him a bit.” AND, MY FAV: “For some reason, he liked it.” YES YES YES YES.

He’s hopeless.

The “Love It” arc (why yes I did use that word very specifically to refer to the sassy snap). On a tangent, Kai on Twitter, Kai on Pinterest… for an alien, he’s very adaptive.

He’s got his entire home planet hooked on snapchat.

Oh, here it is again: “Now that he knew what a genuine fucking weirdo she was, he was a little curious about what she’d actually been thinking.” I know fluffy moments such as Never Have I Ever (before shit hit the fan) are most likely over, but if they were to return, I suggest Truth or Dare, and Damon asks Bonnie what she thought of him when he’d met Caroline (and her) at that club. Listen, both Damon and I want to know. I’m not saying make it happen, but I am.

There’s another dinner coming for their last snowed in night because I’m nothing if not repetitive and I think Truth or Dare is a trope I can definitely work in. I mean, I wouldn’t want it to feel left out given that I’ve used every other fanfic trope known to mankind.

“Wow!” Bonnie exclaimed, leaning forward to peer at the uncanny cake topper with a bewildered look. He even got her one earring right. – I’m cryinggg

He’s special.

“Can we just… go through what all of these heavenly things are, because I may look calm, but I’m actually losing my mind.”

“Absofruitely!” This is a mine of just so many fucking gems.

Kai Knowing: I feel like he’s just a mind-reader, because he already stated he can’t read people very well. But I absolutely love how both Bonnie and Damon are like, oh yeah totally super in love you betcha bud, and Kai’s like, I see it for realsies this time. Bamon 4 Eva bb. Love at first bicker, honestly.

lolololol I just loved the idea that their growing connection was so goddamn obvious that even the self-declared Worst Person Reader Ever was like ‘wowza so this is love huh?’

The Food Fight. I love the “She was glaring at him, eyelashes coated in frosting” line so much. It’s both cute and endearing, and the fact that Damon is paying that close attention.

“Cupcake Quidditch seems kind of fun.”

“It’s stupid dangerous, not to mention a giant waste of food.” Lol Bonnie.

Bonnie being on the shooting team—and Damon also being good at shooting. AU of an AU where SMA Bamon are spies or assassins (Mr. & Mrs. Smith). But only sma bamon. Fuck canon.

We don’t know her.

But also yes to this AU. @coraxes once wrote this awesome drabble where Bonnie and Damon met as teenagers and because of it I’ve always wanted to do some alternate timeline where they grew up in the same city, weaving in and out of the same seedy social circle as teens, flickering in and out of the periphery of each other’s lives, but always having this strange tension whenever their paths happened to cross, you know? Just these rare, vaguely loaded interactions where they both saw glimpses of the fact that the other was smarter than this, better than this, you know? That they both were. The point of this all being that I could imagine them both showing off whatever it is they know about guns, lololol.

“It’s not very captain-y to bathe in the blood of my enemies either but hell if that’s going to stop me.”

She’s also special.

“Temporary timeout” leading to the “Truce” leading to “she suddenly hit him with the look, like Bambi and Tiny Tim and sixteen puppies and every Pixar character ever created had been thrown into one of those face-combining apps” which ultimately leads to Damon’s “fine” and his absolute bewilderment “He just blinked in confusion, unsure of what the hell had just happened.”

From “he held out his [launcher] and she stared at it for a beat before grudgingly taking it” to “in the split-second before she spoke, he suddenly knew exactly what was about to happen” STRAIGHT UP, UNFILTERED GOLD. Like, there’s no other explanation, really. You’re the Midas of Belvafore. I’m calling it, it has been declared, no take backsies or arguments from you, young lady.

I AM NO SUCH THING BUT I WILL TAKE IT ANYWAY.

The Elena Talk

Stefan’s safe space being Bonnie’s room – my heart. There are a lot of things I don’t like about canon, you know, but it would have made so much sense to have a stefonnie friendship (more than bamon, honestly). I didn’t know I needed it until SMA lol.

Listen, I was never into it until I wrote this. I don’t even know where it came from - I legit think the clips for the first trailer I made just worked out that way so I rolled with it, but once I started writing it it felt so natural? They just bounce off each other so easily, it’s one of my fave dynamics to write in a fic full of dynamics I love to write.

The glow-in-the-dark stars: I can totally imagine Stefan helping Bonnie move into every new place, and once all the boxes are in, he’s like, all right now for the real reason I helped you move in, and he rearranges the constellations by memory.

LMAO YES.

The fire escape call backs lol. I feel like every single person in this universe is a shit-starter—it just comes easier to Daroline lol.

The segue from the glow-in-the-dark stickers to “Bright things fade” in reference to the bright, warm, gooey-ness that was Stelena. You already know, I am impressed times a thousand, as always. I also think using this space theme between them is interesting and something to be explored. (I feel like an English teacher, and like maybe it was intentional, maybe it wasn’t. Either way, there is something there, and honestly, as the writer, it was your gut feeling to go with this theme, so maybe it was a subconscious effort, if not fully intentional). (Fight me).

We can go with me having complicated, writery instincts with layers and intricacies that are all very intentional or we can go with me not being creative enough to come up with another metaphor.

The Meet-Cute has a quality that makes it perfect for Stelena. Yes, you are the author, and yes, you created what is ‘perfect’ for them, and yet? It could have easily been a different meet-cute, not Stefan’s speechlessness or her instant smitten-ness. God, he is such a Ted Mosby. But, at least, he’s learning from his Elena experience, that love may not exactly work like that. Maybe love-at-first-sight is a thing (hard maybe), but like Caroline soon alludes to, it’s more devastatingly impactful if love is grown as between two friends or even two people who don’t even like each other (both ships, honestly).

THE TED MOSBIEST. I honestly had trouble writing some of that scene because I was trying to walk the fine line between ‘this guy is sappy and unrealistic but ultimately earnest’ and ‘this guy has imposed wildly unrealistic ideals onto the world around him and it comes from a place of entitlement and privilege and neither the narrative nor the characters condone it’. I’m a big hater of the Ted Mosby’s of the world because I feel like they go through the motions of ‘growing’ but actually just keep doing the exact same thing and falling head over heels for girls that ‘disappoint them’ without ever seriously looking at themselves, so what I tried to do in the scene was show the side of Stefan that’s kind of messed up AND the side of him that realizes he’s kind of messed up. I wanted Caroline’s original dislike of him to make a little more sense, but also wanted to show you why he’s different from the prototypical Nice Guy. He knows that he was unrealistic. He knows that he purposefully turned a blind eye to red flags. He knows that he was putting too much weight on something that had a flimsy foundation at best. But he’s still human and admits that he’s never felt something that electric before, despite all that knowledge, and that’s why he hasn’t been able to shake this for two years. SO yeah, he’s an interesting one to pin down.

Sidenote about the Salvatores: I think it’s interesting that the first person Rebekah calls is Stefan, Stefan calls Lexi. Does that mean Lexi calls Freya? Freya probably doesn’t call a damn one of them lol. It’d be interesting if Lexi or Freya called Rebekah, for non-logical thinking, you know what I mean? I feel like Freya (even though it should be impossible to feel anything about her, considering she’s just a thought at this point) is very well-grounded, and she has a harder time thinking with her heart—and that’s why she might call someone like Rebekah. Omg, could you imagine that they all want to call Stefan, but if he’s busy, they call one another like, “Okay what would Stefan say? What would Stefan do?” Lol, headcanon.

Honestly this is perfect. And you’ve got Freya down to a T so idk how that happened. One of my fave things is getting headcanons about the Salvatores because they’ve basically had like one scene (two for Rebekah) on the phone and yet everyone just gets them. Every headcanon I get is spot-on. It’s delightful.

“Sounds like you and me”… “You said scowls and blizzards and vomit-inducing disdain, right?” lol oh Caroline. Allergic to a sincere moment, either reacting very, very violently or with a joke to help alleviate his discomfort.

She’s a syrupy little thing.

“Nothing could diminish the drug-rush feeling that’d flooded his veins”. I think it’s interesting that his reaction is “Nothing could ever make him forget that he was capable of feeling that much” and not that he wanted to feel that feeling again. It seems like him staying with Elena was him resupplying that feeling, but irl, it seems like people are more likely to relationship-hop, thinking that the relationship/the significant other was at fault, that love in its full drug-like capacity is worth it and they need, need, need it. It’s interesting that he turned inward and actively avoids feeling that way. He later says “It’s so hard not to want to feel it again” but what keeps him from feeling that way again? Is it Caroline’s fear of a person’s potential to ruin? Or maybe it’s just that he hadn’t found someone who is like that? Does Stefan even date around? I’m curious about your insight.

This actually took me a while to pin down in the story because canon was so all over the place with Stefan’s love life - I feel like he had a new love-of-his-life-from-the-past every season and if it wasn’t this random guest star, it was the other one, you know? He was kind of a serial monogamist in canon and yet still managed to have this distinct air of believing in a singular soulmate/’Elena’ lowkey being the be all, end all, you know? So I basically ignored that confusing shit and conceptualized him as a very picky person when it came to love. He doesn’t fall easily - or before Elena, ever. He mentions dating Valerie in high school and I’m sure he went on a few dates here and there in early college, but Elena was a punch in the face for him. He didn’t know what it was about her. He’d never felt that way about anyone before, not even close. Love wasn’t even really the drug-rush, it was her, specifically. That’s why he hasn’t felt it again, that’s why he’s scared he never will - it was entirely tied to Elena. If we wanted to analyze the ‘why’ of it all - why her, why would someone so picky just see someone and feel something they’d never felt before - I would probably say that Stefan grew up with a very specific picture of what he wanted in life, and for whatever reason, she looked exactly like what he’d imagined. The dark hair. The soft features. The romantic eyes. I think it also ties into canon a little, too, since in TVD he was immediately drawn to Elena because she looked exactly like Katherine. Immediate, visual enrapture. So yeah, long story short, I don’t see him as a guy who dates around a lot. I see him as a guy who, pre-Elena, thought he knew exactly what he wanted and never really compromised until he (thought) he found it. And now I see him as a guy who realizes that was an incredibly stupid way to think about love but worries it’s the only approach he’s capable of/that’ll make him feel that incredible feeling.

“But I’m scared I will anyways… And you’re scared you won’t.” Oof. Biggest oof.

I like how Stefan says he doesn’t want to sound like a cliché, but he’s a Disney prince. It only makes sense that he would feel that way, you know? It only makes sense that his life would play out that way. Who are this boys’ parents? How did they indoctrinate him? Or, rather, what thing made him this way?

He’s a mess. This is what happens when you’re the lone golden boy in a family of six and everyone indulges your unrealistic bullshit as cute/funny.

Your writing, for this movie montage of their love, is so perfect. Rude. The imagery! The word-choice! The whole thing reminds me of a caramel-candy commercial, where everything is warm and gooey and slow-motion. Clearly I’m not as cultured to compare to a Sundance film lol, but nonetheless, you did an excellent job describing that warm-toned, rose-colored-glasses kind of love.

Wow, I just realized how much Stefan sounds like the stereotypical ‘male author’. Except he has some decency not to describe the weight of her breasts or her aura during sex (eyeroll). Even his “and he was happy to be her anchor to that for the rest of their lives if she needed him to be”. Idr when, but Stefan shakes off some fairytale notion, saying ‘life doesn’t work that way’ or something – that is character development that we didn’t know we needed!

CAN YOU IMAGINE STEFAN DESCRIBING THE WEIGHT OF ELENA’S BREASTS now I need it

Yeah, honestly, I already said it but I’ll say it again - half the battle of writing that scene was giving Stefan just enough Ted Mosby/Male Author vibes to make him realistically flawed but not going too far as to making him someone you’re actively not rooting for anymore. I think you make a great point, though - he’s growing out of it and recognizing the role he played in his relationship failures and I think that’ll hopefully be what sets him apart.

Also, kudos for the Colorado trip call back. I think it’s very telling how invested and how thought out your process is for these characters by how you using some passing details like, Steroline skirting around their Matt and Elena stories, and then actually using them in their ‘origin’ stories… like, again, you didn’t have to, but you! went! there! and you did a phenomenal job, dude. Again, just a testament to how invested you are. Sure, you could say you wrote it out of order or something brush-off-y, but to even consider, oh hey continuity is a thing, is great. We stan an Awesome Writer!

lmao I’m so happy you get as much enjoyment as I do from little details like that - I’m usually pretty terrible at it because updating within a normal time frame? Don’t know her. But anytime I see a chance to make a random detail I threw in years ago feel remotely deliberate, I’m all over that shit.

“He felt the barest flicker of defensiveness shoot through him… instead he thought back to the trip”. Hopefully, before I submit this, I would have submitted a list of headcanons I have. One of them is that Stefan’s so well-adjusted via his introspection, that I think one of this parents are a therapist of sorts. I’m just calling it.

oooo, I LIKE that. Largely because Therapist Parents would annoy the everloving hell out of Lexi, lmao - I feel like she’s the prototypical daughter of therapists who goes out of her way to be unpredictable just so her parents can’t psychoanalyze her/figure her out.

I wonder if Stefan still thinks he and Elena could have OTP. Like, he says “or, at least, as much sense as the idea of her and a guy like Liam will ever make to me”. Because if Liam is like canon Liam… she and Liam made total sense (aside from her still being a vampire). Oh but wait… Elena is an artist, not pre-med. Because Elena x Liam made sense in TVD, being pre-med kids, flirty and competitive and ambitious. If she’d never known about the supernatural world, it would make sense for her to be with a Liam, and not a Damon, because Liam is the human version of intense/consuming… Sorry about that canon tangent. Canon, I don’t know her?

Who is she? I think I went to high school with her but we weren’t friends.

What’s SMA Liam like? Or is Stefan’s bitterness getting in the way of seeing, maybe, that Liam did make sense for Elena?

Re: Liam - it’s basically what you said above. Very different from canon Liam. Definitely played more of the canon Damon role re: this cocky, morally ambiguous bad boy that appealed to the darker/superficial/more selfish parts of Elena (that she felt she had to hide from Stefan). I think at the start of the story, there’s still a part of Stefan that thinks Stelena was OTP but the further it goes and the deeper he falls into this thing with Caroline, the more that part disappears. I think it’s really easy to idolize something when you have nothing to compare it to, and even more so when you have no closure so you stay stuck on it and time keeps passing it and making it more and more immortalized. With Caroline in the picture now, though, I think it’s shifting his relationship with Elena into a different, more exposing light and revealing some of the insubstantiality of it all.

Elena’s “it’s was like all those awful parts of me were allowed to exist again” speech is so heartbreaking. I know we’re here to cheer for Stefan, be on his ‘side’, and in no way am I saying cheating is condonable, but it’s another great example of how a writer can make you root for both sides of a broken-up couple. A mentor of mine once told me the sign of a good therapist is for each person in a couple to think you’re on their side. And I’m applying this to writing now. Not, in anyway, can I apply this to Matt (fuck that guy), but I get it for Elena. And it totally makes sense that Stefan was like that, or has a potential to be that way.

This was exactly what I was going for so I’m so happy that’s what your fancy talented therapist brain got out of it.

I love how Caroline’s conversation of ‘you can be this way and the situation was not your fault’. Basically, to say to Stefan ‘you don’t know if you could have loved the real Elena’ and ‘you didn’t deserve what Elena did’ is such a good conversation to have. Because knowing this Soft Boy and knowing how most people feel when their partners cheat, it would make sense for him to blame himself. It seems he does that by the way he holds himself back from doing that to Caroline.

Wow, he even comes to this realization, “he hadn’t been able to reconcile the idea of both of them being a little right”. Don’t I look dumb lol… time to retreat….

NO because as I was writing that dialogue I kept getting it wrong and either making it sound like Caroline was blaming him completely or too much on his side and I was struggle-bussing to strike the exact balance you’re describing so NOT DUMB AT ALL. Exactly what I was flailingly going for.

Caroline’s “Okay, now, you’re just indulging.” Another headcanon, Steroline have made a rule to say, “do you need a moment” for any self-indulgent emotion in a conversation. But they only allow a moment. That’s it. ~feel and let go~

Wow, Caroline a combination of all the Salvatore Sisters? Works like a Freya, thinks like a Bekah, talks like a Lexi.

😂this just got vaguely Freudian but also, yes.

“I don’t want to be the guy who makes people feel like they have to pretend around him. That guy sucks.”/ “That guy does kind of suck” BUT ALSO “You may have a certain gooey idealism about you that makes people want to, I don’t know, believe in good things.” My fairly-new/just-for-SMA Steroline heart!

There’s hope for them yet.

The Knife Speech: yes. Wouldn’t it have been kinda funny if, instead of pretending to stab herself in the stomach, she pretended to stab him, a perfect foreshadowing. Also her “I’d imagine that’s when you’re really fucked, so… best is yet to come for you, Salvatore.” BUT WAIT. Perhaps the knife stabbing of oneself is the imagery of allowing one’s self to be stabbed, to be gutted, to be vulnerable enough to be in love. (Here goes English-teacher Cassandra again, please forgive her, she’s eager and truly a huge fan).

This is a perfect example of you making me sound like a hundred times better of a writer than I actually am because I legitimately do not remember who she pretended to stab in the gut and I also thought you were going to say ‘wouldn’t it have been kinda funny if she actually stabbed him and he died gurgling in shock’ and was ready to enthusiastically agree.

On a different note: “Wouldn’t you like to know.” / He’d very much like to know. How does one create such sexual tension in one small exchange? Big oof again.

Honestly this makes my life because I always feel like I’m SO BAD at getting these mood whiplash lines to pack enough punch. Like they always do in my head when I can see the delivery and the camera shot and whatnot, but when I write it I’m always like ‘eh. I mean. I guess’. TRUST YOURSELVES FRIENDS.

Bamon in the Bathroom

First off: “In my defense, you goaded me into playing” / “Yeah, well in my defense, I didn’t know I was releasing the fucking Kraken”. L O L

Bonnie’s winning – “But hey, a win was a win, right?” – I love it. Never underestimate Bonnie Cutthroat-Competition Bennett!

“You’re kind of a maniac, you know that?” paired so deliciously with “Didn’t say I wasn’t a maniac, too.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think I forgot how much I loved bamon and all their goodness? Especially your version. Ahhhh!

“You know, for a doctor, you’re really bad for my health.” Bad for your heart! ‘Cause she’s got it racing! Oooo, burn!

That’s such a Kai line I’m dying.

Bonnie getting all defensive and going off about how she doesn’t mind “being the person that someone needs at the end of the day” (serious Stefan vibes, doesn’t he say this at one point also?), and Damon being all, like, heart-eyes and shit, calling her ‘surprising’ and stuff. Good content, yes, yes, please continue.

Ooo, didn’t even make that parallel between Stefan and Bonnie (because I am, in fact, a garbage author) but it’s so cool that you bring that up because on Stefan, that line can easily sound a little self-aggrandizing - it’s coming from (again) a place of privilege, of playing the hero because he’s had this charmed life and it’s the right thing to do, but from Bonnie, it’s almost the exact opposite. She didn’t have that growing up. She was the person without anyone in her corner. So with her, it’s not a hero complex, it’s a victim-turned-survivor motivation. I feel like I’m being really mean to Stefan in these responses lmao I gotta back off, I adore that kid. Just keepin’ it real.

“Maybe I’ve handled enough” in a playfully dramatic way, and yet, Bonnie’s full realization that (the man of her dreams) Damon probably has been through enough, and she knew what that was like. Sad boy hours.

Sad boy days.

Bonnie avoiding tension by returning to tending to his wound, Damon avoiding tension by returning to his sexy-mysterious-guy vibes. I almost titled this “SMA and the Many, Many Ship Parallels”.

The whole scene that I shall call “I go by daddy, actually” which is just vague enough to make me laugh wildly in this library full of undergrads studying for finals—and because the scene is so ridiculous and hilarious and so, so Bamon, I will die cackling.

I’m brainstorming ways to bring more ‘daddy’ energy into chapter 18.

Belavafore

“Why are you like this?” / “We’re embracing the great outdoors!” Use what he loves against him, honey, you’re doing great.

“Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry.” / “No, you’re not.” / “No, I’m not.” / “Would it help if I said I’m proud of you? … I really am.”

I love how much lighter Steroline has become. Like Caroline just casually throwing the responsibility of “Go for it” / “Forgive yourself for something” to Stefan is so… unlike her. I feel like she’s the type that shows people up whenever they’re afraid to do something, like tell their waitress this is not what they ordered. Because that’s exactly it. This whole forgiving themselves thing was not what Caroline ordered- just a side of cheesy jokes on Stefan.

GIRL YOU AND ME BOTH, I was so tired of writing their tension oh my Gooooooodsicles. I basically spent sixteen chapters trying to earn the ability to write them this light and this comfortable and this open with each other so I SAW MY CHANCE AND TOOK IT.

“I can’t believe we’re listening to happy4eva dot com.” / “We’re not, we’re listening to me” / “Is that any better?” I agree with Caroline and am fully happy to admit I am in love with Stefan’s sass.

“Some of us are capable of taking this seriously” / “What makes you think I wasn’t serious about the printer ink?”

Leash him.

Caroline’s “Here was all she needed to be” realization and acceptance is giving me so much life, I’m teeming with so much love and pride and straight up inspiration, dude, bless.

Caroline’s cathartic sobbing, and Stefan’s, “I think you might be forgiving yourself.” My whole heart is just FULL and maybe I TOO started crying, YOU CANNOT PROVE ANYTHING.

Filed under: scenes I wrote horribly the first few times and still was not convinced I got right by the time I finally posted it so thank God it made someone feel something because ya girl was skressed.

Bonnie going onto the fire escape without coat or shoes, despite hating the cold, just to be there for Caroline, to hug her and be happy for her forgiveness journey is the most Bonnie thing, and I am living for it.

Tag-line for Damon: “She could always count on Damon to be a shithead”.

Bonne saying her date was horrible, Damon mentioned Kai still being present – so mom and dad of them! Did I mention this in a previous review? Maybe. Ugh, I love them so much, I don’t mind if I ramble the same few things about it and your incredible writing of them.

Baroline deciding for the boys ‘this is something we are doing’. *arc snap* love it!

“You jump, I jump, Jack.” I’ll be honest with ya, when I first read this, I was like, dude I love you madly but it feels a little too late to bring this friendship quirk up in here, but then I was like, who the fuck says? You did a great job explaining the context of it, and I love it! Please bring it back! You know, when you write more…

LMFAO no girl I thought the exact same thing, so much so that I went back and edited it into the chapter where Bonnie apologizes to Caroline after her bender. It was totally too late to introduce but I was like ‘I don’t really know what else to put here so we’re gonna pretend this has always been a thing, join me friends in this who cares revisionist approach to writing’.

Steroline being protective of Bonnie’s feelings paralleling with Damon’s protectiveness of Bonnie’s physical wellbeing. It’s just much like, ‘I’m not good at the emotions thing, may I offer you a blanket and some boots instead?” Very in-character of him, this is good, good stuff.

YES, exactly what I was going for! I feel like my entire reaction to your review is either going to be YES EXACTLY YOU WORDSMITH or ACTUALLY I AM FAR TOO DUMB TO HAVE DONE THAT ON PURPOSE BUT I LOVE IT LET’S GO WITH IT.

Bonnie using the ‘you were mean to me’ to get Damon to participate!!!

Caroline’s only known Damon for a month?????? This would make sense, a little, but also it feels like so much longer. (this isn’t me side-eyeing the author, she’s busy and doing important things, but also…)

😂😂😂😂

Bonnie’s prompting of Damon, “And?” felt very much like when you’re at the doctor’s office, and they’re listening to your heart, and they’re prompting you to take a deep breath “again” and quiet and waiting. Was this on purpose? Even his “how many do I have to do?” and her “Just one more.” Feels very much like when they’re in the bathroom, and he’s being a literal child under her medical care.

This definitely falls under the ‘not smart enough to have done that on purpose but I love it so let’s go with it’ category.

“Fuck you world, I’m perfect!” inspired by our resident sociopath (who has no regrets, naturally lol). LOVE. It really aligns with Caroline’s “here” realization, and later, Damon’s “okay, noted” response. It’s kinda messy of them, considering they’re clearly not, but the acceptance and willingness to say, fuck you world, I don’t need to conform to whatever, is so nice. So, so good. So much growth. And the title name-drop! And all of them cheering one another on (especially Stefan)!

“…Damon sasses, making Bonnie’s bright laugh even louder, and in that exact moment, with Damon’s hand caught in some kind of Z-snap and Bonnie gasping for air and Stefan’s eyes crinkled from the size of his grin, she felt something shift for her… And looking at the laughing faces surrounding her, their movements arrested in some kind of vibrant slow-motion, the glint of the flurrying snow around them like magic, she couldn’t help but think that it had to be something good.” (okay maybe now I will admit to more crying).

Kai vs the Neighbor and Caroline’s realization of ‘this guy is crazy I like him’. She doesn’t like a cat, but Kai, she’s here for. “That was amazing!” / “Thanks! I still don’t understand you.” love it!

I think I’ve edited this scene (what don’t I edit) since you read it but I think all the parts that stood out to you were ones I mostly kept the same, so that makes me really happy. I had a blast writing it, particularly Kai vs. The Neighbor and everyone just giving in to hedonistic self-acceptance for that one, sparkling minute. It felt needed and I’m so glad it seemed to trigger all the right emotions.

Scrabble, Backstories, THE Kiss

I know this is not what I was supposed to take away from this, but I like Bonnie’s dark moments, lol. Like her joke about her mom not being around. Like, it makes her more real. Like Stefan’s sass makes him more real. No one is just the One Trait that ‘defines’ them, whatever the fuck that means.

I love writing those moments. I talked about this a few paragraphs up, but a big part of why I love writing Bonnie and Damon is exactly those moments - the ones where she can make a joke about her absentee mom and Damon can laugh at the idea of Kai assassinating them. They need that. They need to be able to do that. It doesn’t feel real to me otherwise. It doesn’t feel special, you know? Why are they so drawn to each other if not for precisely that? Their ability to be every part of themselves around each other - the hopeful parts, the selfish parts, the angry parts, the vulnerable parts - is what makes them tick the most, so I’m excited I’ve gotten to the point in their development where they can do that. There’s a scene pretty early in chapter 18 where they have another one of those moments, where Bonnie lets Damon get this sort of ugly/twisted glimpse at her that she’s hiding from everyone else, and she does it with this casualness that I really enjoyed writing. She’s not afraid of judgement. She’s not afraid of what he’s going to think. She knows he gets it, and he does, and it’s simple but I think it means so much more than grand gestures or big sex scenes do for them (but those are fun too lol).

Aw Damon wanting to know more about Bonnie. We see a lot of Bonnie’s curiosity about Mr. Enigma, but he’s embarking on this conversation without really knowing where it’d go or what he wants from it.

That’s a big shift that’s carrying into 18 - Damon’s officially starting to get hooked. It’s been so fun writing him in this shifting context of developing confusing feelings because he’s kind of a disaster about it - especially because Bonnie’s distracted by all the Steroline drama so she’s not even full cognizant of it.

Wow, why am I just noticing this: “He thought about the fire escape, about the things she’d claimed to forgive herself for, and dwelled in the awareness that they’d all been just as performative as his” !!!! excuse me! NOT OKAY. I guess they haven’t had the chance to talk it out like Steroline did, and maybe that’s part of the reason it was more difficult to jump onto the forgiveness train right away.

Yeah, they still have a long way to go. Honestly, I don’t even know if forgiveness really fits what they need. Bamon strikes me more as just needing to accept themselves, and I think being able to accept each other so casually and completely will play a big role in that.

“He wasn’t sure when she’d started taking up actual real estate in his thoughts, but it was kind of a disorienting realization.” !!!

“He used to let himself feel every last lick of it [his anger], blistering and white-hot… it’d bite and fester at the inside of his skin till it wore itself out slowly bled out of his pores” that’s good stuff there, dude, great description.

“That was all before he’d met Katherine, though. Before she’d shown him how to turn it all of instead.” Nice nod to that dumpster fire of canon. Datherine was such an interesting thing that could have been cool. The debauchery, honestly, instead of Damon desiring to be ‘good’ or some shit.

I honestly don’t even remember their canon dynamic and I think it’s probably better that way.

“She’d moved on from the question. He’d had an out. But for some reason, he had this weird, anxious feeling, like an opportunity was flashing past him and he didn’t want to just let it. So he kept going.” We stan character development and growth. You go, baby!

I wonder what it was like for Damon, to re-testify. Was he all shelled-up, the Damon who jokes his way through, who doesn’t give a single fuck about anything, or was he Lily’s scared son, traumatized and hurt, unable to make eye-contact or even lift his head during his testimony?

I think he was forcibly numb to the whole thing until he saw her. Probably being sarcastic under oath, acting like this was a waste of his time, but distinctly edgier than usual. I don’t think he was planning on seeing her and I don’t think he was even supposed to, given the whole witness protection thing, but knowing Lily, she probably dreamed up a way to make sure she was being transported at the exact moment she knew he’d be there, and seeing her and how entirely unchanged, unrepentant, undulled she was after seventeen years, daring to look at him like a project she was coolly proud of, just flipped him out a little.

“She looked protective./ He wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked protective of him before.” AHHHHHHH.

Once you have a Gryffinpuff in your corner there’s no shaking them.

Damon’s “Here” paralleling to Caroline’s “Here”. Two sides of the same coin, though. Caroline’s “here” was liberating and existing meant so much for her, but Damon’s “here” is just existing, not feeling or holding on to anything.

Okay, I will admit this one I did on purpose.

“Kai could probably kill them both if we asked.” Dark!Bonnie, yas queen, slay!

“They didn’t just ‘happen’ / “I did them. I actively ruined those people’s lives.” I know it seems like I’m grasping here, but this just really seems to echo Caroline’s speech to Stefan, that Elena made choices. Bonnie made choices too. Does this mean Elena is just as redeemable as Bonnie is? Stay tuned to probably never find out.

Elena Redemption Arc 2029

Damon: “In fact, it’s [accepting the ‘bad’ parts of her] not going to change you at all—they’re already part of you, they’ve always been part of you. I’m not saying they’re shiny or pretty but honestly, fuck shiny and pretty.” Stefan’s rejection of Elena’s ‘darkness’, Damon’s acceptance of Bonnie’s ‘non-shiny, non-pretty’ elements. I’m just saying dude, conscious or subconscious—your Inner Writer is doing amazing, sweetie, please keep it up forever, thanks.

“Goodness wasn’t default coded into you but having some perfect life that never tempted you to be anything else.” / “To me, that’s a hell of a lot prettier and shinier than someone who never had ugly as an option.” *sings quietly* Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?

lmfaoooo why do your expressions always murder me

‘I’m too tired to be funny’ fuck you this entire review is either poignant af or hilarious I was ill-prepared I was MISLED

“Your desperation to paint me out as some kind of reluctant hero is your real flaw—in fact, that should be the part of yourself you’re ashamed of.” OKAY THEN STOP BEING ONE

He’s so dumb. And we haven’t even gone into the Tyler arc.

Baroline quoting Defan to throw their own words back at them like ninja stars, pinning them to their words’ truths.

We love a good Pin The Truth Bomb on the Idiot game.

“I’m just saying there’s a chance you aren’t a complete supervillain.” / “I’d be a great supervillain.”

(I just had an overwhelming sense of maybe, someone in this very library, could be a SMA fan also. How wild would that be???)

I wrote this HP fanfic a long time ago that got weirdly popular and someone once left a review saying they saw someone else reading the new update at the airport and they ended up talking about it together for a little while and it was the greatest moment of my entire life

“He wasn’t sure what made him do it. Wasn’t sure if it was a pride thing, a contrarian thing, or a product of whatever weird mindfuck of a thing had been brewing between them over the course of the night, but before he even knew what was happening, he slid his hands up her face and caught her mouth in a swift, deliberate counterargument.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damon’s analysis of Bonnie: more exclamation marks

“And that even without the varnish, even with all bitterness and fear and anxiety bursting through his cracks like light, he was worth seeing.” Actual tears in my actual eyes. I am not a crier, Gabi, what have you done

He’s a love-starved stray, LOVE HIM. PET HIM.

Bonnie being all weirded out by the intimacy of the kiss, Damon apologizing about it, “He felt a flicker of resentment over the charm of her awkwardness.”

“If he didn’t know any better, he’d think it was the beginnings of another panic attack.” It’s the knife! (you know the Vine where the kid is running alongside a pool, and the woman behind the camera says, “what’cha got there?” and the kid is like “a knife!” and she’s like “no!” that’s this.)

I’M DEAD.

INEVITABLE. BOOM.

LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS

Steroline and the Case of the Heart-Eyes

“Laughing on that fire escape was the happiest he thought he’d ever seen her.”

Stefan being unable to deal with Caroline’s weirdo silence. Being nervous and worried about it, being super boyfriendy without actually noticing it. Him finally, full out, asking her what’s her deal.

“I’m out of reasons.” It’s so simple, yet so awwwww inducing.

Stefan going into straight up panic mode is so hilarious to me, even though it’s supposed to be more on the serious side lol. Like, I can just imagine Paul Wesley’s scrunched face, pushing away, avoiding any sort of physical interaction—and I’m cackling.

oh my God now I’m cackling

why is he like that

lmao I just see eyebrows I can’t

“I’m not that guy.” / “I’m the guy who can barely breathe right now because of the smell of your shampoo / who literally can’t open his eyes because if I look at you right now, I’m going to kiss you / who’s a few involuntary stares away from having the exact pattern of your freckles memorized—in fact, I honestly might already. Six on the right, six of the left, rebel freckle.” My heart. Gabi, stoppppp! I didn’t even ship this ship before SMA!

He writes his Boy Scout-ass self blame him.

“I’m pretty sure what makes me happy is you.” I cry so many tears. “I think I might finally be at the point where I’m more scared of missing out on that than I am of what letting it in might do.”

“His heart began humming in his throat at the way she was looking at him.”

“The hope in her eyes grabbed his stupid heart but its stupid heart throat and why the hell did he even pretend he had any actual choice in any of this?” There you go, buddy, finally getting with the program. A parallel to Bamon, and Damon’s wtf is happening to me caring about this cupcake of a person?

“No banning of the full spectrum of human emotion.” / “Do your worst, Disney prince.” / “Don’t know if you can handle that.”

Another artful sex scene. I know they’re not your Fav to write, but you do a real good job. Especially for these two and this moment of it being Real.

Bless, I just never know how they’re going to come across. So easy for them to feel cheesy. Glad this one didn’t tip too far into that territory.

Caroline’s “No” and Stefan’s “a soundless projection of determination so palpable it bent the air into a word.”

“Her eyes were mosaics, art made out of jagged pieces – chipped trust and cracked pride glued together into something flawed and lovely.” Stefan has ruined every romantic thing for me. Thanks, bud.

He sucks.

Caroline’s ‘shift’ (which I am now just realizing she refers to as ‘a lock snapping undone’; giiiiiiiirl) and Stefan’s “and he felt the knife go straight through his gut.”

I can’t read that metaphor now without thinking about her legit stabbing him like a black widow and just completely 180ing this into a slasher fic.

Bonnie and the Contract

Short scene, yes. Bonnie’s absentmindedness, not just because of Damon, but because she doesn’t have eyes for this lol. It’s so casual how you described it too, “just some clothes, abandoned mugs, scatter of papers”, the usual, ya know, nothing to see here lol. Damon’s attempt to keep her from looking at the contract. Like, he was all mischief and trickery a few days ago, waiting for this very moment, and now, he’s all ‘oh uh you may wanna….’ tongue-tied. Short scene, yes. Great cliff-hanger, absolutely. Awesome way to close off what felt like whole movie worth of content? A million percent yes, sign me up for more!

Writing it def felt like a whole movie’s worth of content lmao so getting to that short, final, zippy cliffhanger scene was glorious. Felt like delivering a placenta. Like I’d already birthed the thankless succubus of a baby and all I needed now was the placenta I barely had to push to get out, you know? This metaphor got lowkey gross but fun fact one of the women whose placenta I delivered in OB wanted to keep it so her and her husband could eat it and I was like coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.

Okay, so this is a monster of a review for a masterpiece of a chapter (100+ pages, right?). Coupling happy and silly scenes with these intense confessions was amazing, and your fear of the emotional scenes not clicking is unwarranted! You’re truly a phenomenal writer, and I know I tell you all the time, but you need to hear it always and forever! I was recently telling my sister writing is my actual passion, and by the way in which you write, it seems like it’s, at least, one of your passions too. Like yeah, medicine is gonna be great, you’re gonna be awesome, and maybe I too will be successful as a therapist, but your passion and talent shines through your writing. YOU! ARE! GREAT! TRULY!

I will not apologize for such a long review, like I always do (13 pages babyyy), but I will apologize for basically rewriting the chapter in this review. I tried my best to simplify and summarize, but bro, so! many! good morsels of gorgeous similes and metaphors and descriptions and dialogue, and did I mention I am in love with your characters? your writing? your goddamn brain? Lol.

(Okay, I think I’m done. This took me almost three weeks to write.)

I truly hope you’re doing well, and if you’re writing, YAS, but if you’re not, you know what? You do you, girl, slay in whatever you’re doing. I am your support! I am your cheerleader! I’m here to bolster any sort of feeling you need! Love ya, toodles ;)

(If you’re new here and you got to the end of this review, hey I’m Cassandra, and you’ve made the best decision to read this fic. Gabi, look away, you’re not supposed to see my gushing about your story yet again. You, Reader, good on ya!)

Girl, I don’t even know what to say at this point. Your reviews are always just so lovely, so funny, so thoughtful, so insightful, so goddamn smart - I’m honored to have you as a reader, dude. Truly. Knowing you’re going to be reading challenges me to write better (and that’s actually true of a lot of you, if you’re reading this!). I adore having your therapist brain reading this, too, because it’s such a character-driven story and I’m writing about a lot of things I’ve never actually been through but have done my best to inhabit, and having your perspective is so wonderful. You find the motivations and you see the dimensionality and half the time your reviews actually give me ideas because you see things I don’t. So basically, all of this to say thank you. I adore you. You’re wonderful. And the one good thing about having taken so friggin’ long to post this response that I AM ACTUALLY WRITING lmao, and despite your busy life of saving people’s sanity and BEING FRIGGIN’ MARRIED, I hope you are, too! Love ya, babe. This was so kind. You’re a universe.

#reply #review #six mornings after #17 #can I just call this a drabble #we're gonna do it #drabble #submission

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no-no-no-ahhhh · 4 years

Text

I'm having bad anxiety so I'm just going to answer these questions rn

Okay so when having anxiety I over think and I barely have any friends so I thought if using these questions to keep my mind off things and it kinda works it's also why some are long because I'm trying my best to think about other things then my stress. Maybe some of yall can try this if you want. Could help idk

Questions belong to @tr33-g1rl

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

I LOVE chocolate bro

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy because let's all be honest bubble gum doesn't even tast good so that just leaves texture and cotton candy dissolves abs you could always have normal gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Some would say nice hard working smart and dyslexic but that's what they say not actually think

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I've never really had the soda bottles but for now Ig soda cans because I feel like it keeps it fresher then the plastic and plastic is bad

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Umm out of all these ig tomboy my style that I try to go for more rn is kinda like bille eyelash baddie style

7. earbuds or headphones?

Def earbuds cuz headphones if left on too long start hurting and squeezing my head

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows 100% I cant consum media for long (my anxiety)so cartoons are the best for me because they're usually 11 minutes and light hearted

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Hmm this is good question in my head summer looks so good ahh but I've never really had a sent for it cuz the past few years I've been in my room but I love the sun oh and you know when your about to go in the pool and you can smell the Clorox mixed with the sun block and that smell just smells like a soft nice energy and there is this one tropical sent havent really smelt it in years I remember the one time I got to smell it was in middle school in the girls locker room so ig it was a perfume idk if it was really associated with summer or it was just tropical perfume my mom could spray on anytime of the year

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Lol none I hated p.e I was also pretty tall at the time so people expected me to play but I just wanted to hide in the corner

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Well I don't really like breakfast that much I think food in the morning makes me nauseous but I have to eat it cuz I can't eat school lunch food cuz that shit is nasty but breakfast school food is 😉 so I usually get banana bread and good ass duch chocolate milk

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Por Vida is one of my favorite albums if that counts

13. lanyard or key ring?

I hate things being around my neck so key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Mexican candy

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The outsiders

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Your butt relaxing ig and not hunched over idk how some people do their work not hunched over like how do you see what your working on

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

These white Adidas with 3 halo strips and tan boots

18. ideal weather?

To wear you can soak in the sun but not have it burn you right when you go outside and kinda breezy not a fan of the cold and whatever weather that isn't effected by global warming is the best

19. sleeping position?

I always try not to sleep on my back cuz then they say that the demons come for you

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

I have a lot of journals and books to write

21. obsession from childhood?

My little pet shops, barbies, fnaf, teen titans, monster high dolls, beanie babes, never brats or the ever after high dolls cuz I had a fear of big heads as a kid

22. role model?

Em their are not many people to look up to these days but Quenlin Blackwell is even though she struggles with depression and seasonal depression she still is a qween love her

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

Hmm maybe amethyst one of the only ones I have

25. first song you remember hearing?

No idea

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Be in the sun

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Not have the seasonal depression come for me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade bro tea is kinda weak and for BrItish blocks , but today I did have a bunch of lemons and they got me sick cuz I dont have a healthy balanced diet if anybody knows simple healthy recipes that have little to no cooking pls share

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

I've never actually have had lemon pie but I have been thinking about making pie. I've had peacon pie and water burger apple pie and McDonald's apple pie and I think another fast food pie but I can't remember the flavor. I know the other flavor exist because my mom order a different pie flavor from me once and she said we can both try each others. Maybe it was lemon. I think lemon tast is quit forgettable thow idk I always put other things on my lemon and lemonade has all that sugar and speaking of Britain I think they carbonate their lemons . But I think I've only had lemon cake 2 times , so if the cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

School is lame and that's on period pooh

41. last person you texted?

Umm this girl I barely know and I'm going to leave it at that cuz this story makes me kinda sad and worried and I'm answering these questions to avoid that

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Hmm good question , I think jacket because they are bigger and girl Jean's have the pockets different to make the booty look better and sometimes that leads to uncomfortable pockets and front pockets barely exit for girls and jackets sometimes have those secret pockets only you have assess too like the ones on the inside and jacket pockets are bigger

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

1. hoodies are good for when you dont have a bra on and they come with one BIG pocket and you dont need to worry about a shirt

2. Leather jackets are for cool kidz and carry a nice vibe and still thick enough to keep you warm , but you can't really get them wet I think so you can't wash em , but they can come with cool designs on the back but their better fitted on perfectly on a person and if you grow they just look odd on you then you have to buy another and that's not fun

3.Bomber jacket , it's a whole style but one I try to pull of but just cant do it well

4.Cardigans kinda umm not a fan but good if your wearing a dress that's shows your shoulders and you are insecure about that being shown. Remember when somewhere in the 2000s they told us that cardigans where so easy to put on and throw more into your outfit so people bought quit a few. I do

5.I feel like jeans jackets aren't warm enough maybe their more for the summer?

44. favorite scent for soap?

Hmm maybe something tropical or just those cool lavender ones that have oats that's cool I like oats in my soap

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

I hate sci-fi uhhhg and super hero kinda ties in with that so fantasy and when reading fan fic just sweet simple domestic fluff

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Hmm not sure but the shirt has to be soft. I only experience soft shirts like that few times in my life

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mexican cheese and blue cheese uhg and mozzarella with that crust, yum🤤

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Errrum maybe a watermelon cuz they are very hydrated. Oh and watermelon with the big black seeds is better then that soul less watermelon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

None dawg I really need to find one but I do have a lot written down In a book

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Omg my aunt had some funny looking ass dogs I couldn't stop laughing. One of her dogs hate me tho now

51. current stresses? I dont want to talk about it cuz I dont want to worry but I was crying for more then 6 hours probably 8 when I think about it and then today as well and it's so bad I'm not even going to school

52. favorite font? I like the one kali uchis uses in one of her albums I think it's called fairy tell or something

53. what is the current state of your hands?pretty dry cuz I wash them alot and kinda long nails cuz of genetics

54. what did you learn from your first job?

I havent had a first job

55. favorite fairy tale?

Hmmm something with the tooth fairy

56. favorite tradition?

Idk holidays cuz I get school off

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression and I would say anxiety but no

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I dont have any talents

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Uuuuyg idk too stressed to really think that I dont even know what type of video game I would be in

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

nothing stressful maybe something calm like a farm anime, some light magic, pokemon things like that

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

I was never ment to live life like a sim - megan the stallion

62. seven characters you relate to?

Anybody with anxiety, kinda pearl from Steven universe, the nerdy part of dipper from gravity falls , Roman from sander sides if virgil too sense he has anxiety okay and that's all I can think of I think early I said I dont really watch media or stuff so yeah

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Gosolina kali uchis songs and bank account that's all I can think about rn

64. favorite website from your childhood?64. favorite website from your childhood?

Y8 brooo oh and there was Disney or Nickelodeon websites you know that show with the hands and they had the googly eyes they had a g as new for that loved it and for Disney they had zack and cody games on their website and it's not a website but the one thing on windows that would work without wifi you know and you could make cakes and give them faces and try matching the cards

65. any permanent scars?

One time a cat scratched me more the like 8 years ago and I can still faintly see the mark

66. favorite flower(s)?

The one that grows on the cactus

67. good luck charms?

I know a rabbits foot is one and 4 leaf clovers,and markipliers flannel. I sadly dont have any personal good luck charms

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I don't want to talk about bad foods rn cut the cameras

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

idk I think I can vaguely remember every facts orgin that I know

70. left or right handed?

Basic right handed but my dad used to be left but then the school forced him to be right

71. least favorite pattern?

Anything 80s uhg that shit is disgusting and terrifying

72. worst subject?

Chemistry but I just got out of that so that's fun

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

People day hot cheetos and sour cream is odd but I like it . I would wat some rn but I think I got sick cuz of my poor diet so I'm not. Someone pls suggested simple easy foods for your girl who can cook

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

1 I am big baby

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I dont know

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Tater tots are good and fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Idk no green thumb

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Idk ig coffee

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Theirs a difference?

82. pc or console?

Console it's just simpler

83. writing or drawing?

Uhhheg ig drawing I'm bad at grammar

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcast, podcast are just more plans out then talk radio and talk radio is a morning thing and I'm not the biggest fan of mornings

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales mythology kinda ruff ya know

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies their just more sturdy and their is always normal cake

87. your greatest fear?

Tooo many things and I'm having an anxiety attack right now so like no

88. your greatest wish?

Well it's cute and all idk to live peacefully is one part the other parts a secret for now

X.o.x.o gossip girl ya know ya love me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Umm maybe myself Idk

90. luckiest mistake?

One time my mom ordered a foam sord for my brother and a real one came. It was some anime sword

91. boxes or bags?

Bags cuz they look cute and you can take em every where with you. Disposable I would have to say boxes tho because its less damaging to the environment

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight is so warm and it fills something inside of me makes me feel cozy

Lamps are great for when sleeping and your scared of the dark

Fairy lights are cute but are they neccessary

Overhead lights are good for when you just need light in your life

Am I the only one who gets sad and sometimes cant clean if it's dark in the house?

94. favorite season?

Summer I think. I know it's harder for me to function in the winter cuz depression but then summer is anxiety sometimes ya know

95. favorite app on your phone?

Littetly no idea I don't really love/like the things on my phone if their more distractions or time wasters but I do love how I can search up useful things on YouTube to try to calm down my anxiety and I was definitely not a fan of tumblr at all but I kind have made it my safe place a bit

96. desktop background?

Well the computers my dad's so it has deadpool on i

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Barely 2 ,I am kinda a dummy sorry unggv

98. favorite historical era?

Well idk heehaww cowboys?

#trifle utters #misspelling because ya girls pretty stressed #im just trying to cope rn so dont cap on me

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tarysande · 5 years

Text

AO3 Writing Meme

I was tagged by the lovely @todisturbtheuniverse whose username remains one of my very favorites (yessss T.S. Eliot), and who is an all-around wonderful human.

———

What is your total posted word count on AO3? (Go to your Works, then click Statistics.)

1,316,777 (since December 2011). Haha. Ha. To be fair, probably only a million of those words are mine because @w0rdinista and I wrote From the Ashes together.

Only a million, she says.

How often do you write?

Um. Look, when I was extremely underemployed, I was also extremely prolific. There have also been periods where I only wrote fic and all my original stuff sat unloved. The last couple of years have been ... challenging. Partly because I’ve been navigating working a lot more, partly because of health (mental and physical), and partly because I’ve devoted a lot more attention to original fic. Which is a long way of saying: not as much as I’d like to be. I am trying to write at least a little bit most days, now. It’s very slow-going. Like learning to walk again after a serious accident slow-going.

If you count any writing and not just fiction writing, though, I write pretty much every day.

Do you have a routine for writing?

I’m really fortunate that I have a home office. I mean, I use it for paid work, but it also means I have a room of my own. Usually, I make myself a tea/coffee (or pour myself some water), turn on music if it’s not on already, and boot up my Mac. I use my PC for work and work-related writing, so using a different computer tends to tell my brain to leave work behind. (Plus, Scrivener is way prettier on the Mac.)

I use internet blockers if willpower’s not cutting it. I also use pomodoros or sprints to push myself past overthinking and hypercritical inner critic nonsense, if I need to.

Sometimes, when home isn’t cutting it, I write in cafes. With earphones in. And usually a snack.

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairings?

Kinks: Basically, if the sex doesn’t need to be there for narrative purposes, I’m extremely meh about it. PWP is not my thing. That said, I have a real soft spot for tenderness, comfort, vulnerability, goodnatured competitiveness, very light use of restraints/blindfolds (never as punishment; pain does nothing for me, even if it’s consensual; it’s more about trust), hands, intimacy, readiness/foreplay/consent. Basically, I’m all about sex-as-emotional-connection; *shrug* my demisexual is showing.

Tropes: Hurt/comfort, friends-to-lovers (sometimes enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, but the enemyness can’t be things I consider unforgivable), fake/pretend relationships, slow burn, humor as a mask, angst (with at least a bit of hope, even if it’s bittersweet), mutual pining, fluff, domesticity-depending-on-the-characters, kidfic very much depending on the kids and the characters. There are probably more that aren’t coming to mind at the moment.

Pairings: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Femshep/Garrus, F!Hawke/Sebastian, F!Hawke/Fenris, and Cullen/Trevelyan (Rose) are the ones I write. For reading, I also love Phryne/Jack, Wimsey/Vane, and several other BioWare ships (especially when written by people I admire) though I don’t have time to read much right now! I like my pairings to include at least one f!character, so m/m has never been my personal jam. I do like a few f/f pairings though!

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

And choose between all my children? From the Ashes, because it cemented so much of my friendship with @w0rdinista . Something Like Home, because it was important to me for a lot of reasons. Any Four Walls, because Rose and Tyrra? You, because it was the catalyst for jumping into Lucifer fandom (even if it didn’t get finished until a year later).

To be honest, a lot of my other personal favorites are ones with fewer kudos, but whatcha gonna do?

Your fic with the most kudos?

A Handful of Dust, with 1241 (but, shockingly, Any Four Walls has almost caught up to it at 1214! I still can’t believe that. It’s kidfic. It was gonna be a one-shot prompt fill! ...then it grew plot against my will.)

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

That some of it is un-fucking-finished? See above. I’m so sorry, AHOD and AFW; you deserve better, and someday I will finish you both. I hate unfinished things. I hate that I have unfinished things.

Also, I don’t like when I catch myself reusing phrases/gestures/etc.

Now something you do like?

I’ll be real with you here. If I didn’t like my writing, I wouldn’t post it. You’d never see a word. If I don’t love one of my own stories, I don’t share it. I am my own biggest fan. I know in ways other people can’t how incredibly hard I work on everything I do, and how incredibly important it is to me to do the very best I can. I know how often I’ll watch a clip or how much research I’ll do just to nail a voice or get a tiny fact right. I have been writing a long, long, long time. I’m still changing and growing and learning---and it’s awesome. So, even when I look back on something very old? I still smile and know that version of Tara was doing her very best, too, even if Current Tara would change things.

Also, I think I write pretty great dialogue and excellent character psychology/motivations.

Tagging ... anyone who wants to ramble about their fic and their feelings??

#memery #ao3 writing meme #about me #on writing #on fanfiction

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plinys · 6 years

Text

dear yuletide author (2018)

hello and welcome to my letter!

i am so happy to have you reading this letter and going to be writing a fic for me! why? because you dear writer are an amazing and wonderful person, deserving of all the kudos in the world!

please remember as you look at these prompts, that if something in my likes inspires you more than any of my specific prompts, totally feel free and run with that, and know that i will enjoy any fic that is gifted to me!!

ao3/lj handle: plinys

now lets get down to business:

the fandoms i’ve requested this year are: Babe - Sugarland ft. Taylor Swift (Music Video) , Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video) , The Gifted (TV 2017) , Partners (TV 2012) , A Simple Favor (2018), and Superman Returns (2006)

but before that, my likes/kinks/dislikes/triggers:

likes: alternate universes, characters that are in character, lady-centric fics, angst, fandom cliches, dysfunctional relationships, friendships, friends/enemies to lovers, soul mates, road trips, hanukkah fics, jewish characters, bisexual characters, poly relationships, character studies, origin stories, ambiguous endings, meta fic, slow build, fics that incorporate social media, crack treated seriously, drunk confessions, miscommunication,

kinks: threesomes, competence kink, phone sex, masturbation, crying during sex, hate sex, shower sex, praise kink, guys going down on girls, rough sex, first time, spanking, daddy kink, sex in front of mirrors, voyeurism, make up sex

dislikes: pwp, main character death (unless it really makes sense/happens in canon), character bashing, non-con, mpreg, a/b/o, 1st person, 2nd person

my triggers (please no matter what do not include these): school shootings, cancer, terminal illness, riots, child abuse.

and now to the fun stuff -

Babe - Sugarland ft. Taylor Swift (Music Video)

characters: Cheating Husband (Babe), Mistress (Babe), Wife (Babe)

where to watch: the music video is up on youtube

prompts:

right after watching this video, my first thought was that i was disappointed that the cheating husband didn’t die in the end. like he should have died they set it all up for him to die. so do me a favor and write a fic where he gets exactly what he deserved

bonus points if we get something where the ladies team up to do him in, maybe it’s all a big long con, maybe they were actually working together to kill him for the insurance money or something. (make them gay if you want, or make them bonded as friends because the same man screwed them over either way im chill)

alternatively - if someone wants to write smut between the cheating husband and the mistress that’s totally fine by me because imagining brandon routh and taylor swift together is something that i could get behind so uh feel free

honestly if you can make anything come out of this music video it would make me very happy because its one of my favorites and literally any fic about it will be good

Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video)

characters: Chae Hyungwon (Dramarama MV)

where to watch: the music video is here on youtube

prompts:

so a good place to start would probably be with some sort of explanation for what is going on in the music video and there is a lot of theories but honestly ive got like only 80% of a clue after reading them all so good luck. basically if you don’t know anything about who the boys are (i don’t even go here technically, my roommate just showed me the video a while back and when saw it in the tag set i got super interested in requesting fic about it)

i nominated hyungwon, he’s the one in the video who is in the suit and sort of giving out all of the watches that enable the other to travel through time. im mainly looking for backstory on his character, what is his role in all of this? what is his motivation? why did he choose this set of people to give the watches too

also related just expanding on the concept of time travel presented in the video. in this case you don’t have to focus on hyungwon, you can focus on the other sort of “men in black” showed or any of the other duo’s presented

honestly whatever you could pull out of this video would be really interesting to me! if something inspires you after watching the video consider total freedom when it comes to this prompt

The Gifted (TV 2017)

characters: Lorna Dane (The Gifted (TV 2017)), Marcos Diaz (The Gifted (TV 2017))

where to watch: all of season one is on hulu, and it’s current airing weekly

prompts:

so i realize that by time reveals are the show will have finished season two so who knows how we will all feel about them by then and what will have happened but right now in canon i am very much emotionally compromised by everything going on with lorna/marcos and so i am asking for 100% shippy prompts for them

there was a lot of missing moments in season one that could be expanded on. when they were together in the underground. fluffy little things with them having discussions about their baby, soft bed sharing stuff, making promises to protect each other, just anything soft with them expecting the baby is right up my alley

and then of course now were in season two and things arent so easy, depending on how things go in canon i would love some sort of fic of them getting back together and getting to be a big happy family. if that means marcos joining the inner circle or lorna leaving, ether way works for me

at nycc sean (who plays marcos) said that “there isn’t a man who loves his daughter more, and he hasn’t even met her” obviously now he has met her. but i would love just some character study of marcos inner turmoil over all of this

seriously though anything lorna/marcos will make me happy

Partners (TV 2012)

characters: Louis McManus, Wyatt Plank

where to watch: i’ve only found it on less than legal streaming sites

prompts:

if you havent seen this, which you probably have not, it is a very quick watch, it’s like ten episodes of a sitcom, very easy to consume quickly. and im 90% certain that someone has made a cut of just the louis/wyatt scenes on youtube. it got cancelled before its first season ever finished.

louis/wyatt are an established relationship on the show, very cute and domestic, and just silly sitcom vibes. this is sort of my easy request, because im not really looking for anything dramatic with this one. do you like writing curtain fic? easy fluff? whatever is light and easy and suits your fancy

if youre in a smutty mood you could totally work with this one because i mean established relationship and there was definitely a few fade to black scenes in the sitcom so feel free

before the series ended there was like a discussion of them making their relationship even more serious, obviously that was sort of a cliffhanger to end the series on. but if you would like to expand on that and write where you think their lives would have gone next i would love to read that!

A Simple Favor (2018)

characters: Emily Nelson (A Simple Favor (2018)), Stephanie Smothers (A Simple Favor (2018))

where to watch: at a theater near you!

prompts:

okay so i know their relationship dynamic was a little fucked up (or well, a lot) but that is exactly what is so perfect about them. i want dysfunctional relationships, power imbalances, codependency, all the bad wrong dirty tropes that you can fit in with these two

i would LOVE some smut with them. you see my kinks list back up there at the top, use some of those. the more sinful the better, because how could you watch this movie and not think about these two ladies fucking in that fancy house? drinks turns into emily teaching stephanie how to go down on another woman like? these are just things that i greatly need in my life

i am very much interested in reading alternate endings where stephanie took emily up on her offer and ran away with her. where would they go? how do they start over? how do they fall for each other? tell that story (and of course bonus points if its smutty)

or maybe ones where things still go on the canon route but stephanie still cannot stop thinking about emily, and the inevitably of two people always meant to be drawn back together even if its against all logical reasoning

if youre in an au mix mood, these two would be perfect for some sort of slightly fucked up soulmate au. i would love to see something like that

Superman Returns (2006)

characters: Clark Kent (Superman Returns (2006)), Lois Lane (Superman Returns (2006))

where to watch: i rented it off amazon? not sure if there’s anywhere legally to see it for free

prompts:

so at the end of the movie lois and clark arent actually together and we never got another movie so i find myself desperately in need of fic in which they do get back together, properly this time, and obviously with some revealing of identities and all that other important stuff

also theyve got a kid together and i am literally always weak for kidfics so i would love something to do with that. clark realizing that he has a son but that he can’t come out as clark and reveal that he’s aware of this and the dilemma that comes from that

or honestly just cute domestic family stuff, feel free to skip right past the getting together and give some nice super family fluff. i just want everyone to be happy

ANYWAYS I HOPE SOME OF THOSE PROMPTS SUIT YOUR FANCY! no matter what i know i will love whatever you write, thank you!

#yuletide #dear yuletide author #yuletide 2018

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hamtarominecraft · 6 years

Text

My person for the @falsettossecretsnowmen exchange this year was @officialwhizzer ! He asked for something domestic or involving Jason- I’ve never written anything domestic, so I hope it isn’t too horrible.

Here is a link to the oneshot I did on AO3, and I’ll put it under a cut!

I also drew this, which literally is just the last line of the fic (I think my computer might have killed the quality so I’ll probably send you it on like discord or smth too):

Oneshot under the cut, I hope you like it and have/had a good holiday season!!!

“I don’t know. He seems like he’s been bummed out ever since we picked him up from school yesterday.”

Marvin leaned against the kitchen counter, glancing across the room to Jason’s bedroom door. They’d all gotten up late today- it was already 11. Whizzer wasn’t wrong- normally, Jason was decently excitable, always filling his father and Whizzer in on the events of the past week. Marvin would have expected Jason to have been happier than normal, seeing as Friday had been an early dismissal day, but Jason barely talked on the drive home, even when prompted about the upcoming ball season or whether or not he thought he’d go on the class trip to the science museum. Jason had shrugged, shifted in his seat, and put his head against the window.

Marvin sighed. “You’re right. I’ll do something to cheer him up. He usually gets excited for movie night.”

“He gets excited for movie night as long as you aren’t the one picking the movie,” Whizzer corrected him, cracking an egg onto a pan. He glanced up at Marvin, a small smile on his face. “And I have to say that I’d agree with the kid on that front.”

Marvin scoffed lightly and bumped shoulders with Whizzer, turning when he heard the toaster ding. “Maybe he’d want to go for ice cream,” Marvin guessed as he started to butter the toast absentmindedly.

Whizzer wrinkles his nose a bit. “Isn’t it a bit cold out for ice cream?”

“He’s thirteen. I really don’t think he’d care.” A light creak offered a new sound in the conversation, and the two men turned to see a sleepy, somewhat disheveled-looking Jason, promptly taking his seat at the dining table. Marvin brushed the crumbs off his hands before folding his arms. “Morning, Jase.”

“Good morning, dad. Good morning, Whizzer.” Jason tugged on his shirt, playing with the salt shaker.

“Good morning, Jason,” Whizzer sent back in a cheery tone. He finished plating eggs as Marvin held out dishes for him, bringing his and Jason’s over to the table. “Long half day yesterday?” He asked, sliding Jason’s plate in front of him.

Jason took a bite, not bothering to swallow before responding. “I guess I didn’t sleep as much as I want. I have some homework I need to do, too.”

Whizzer swallowed his bite of toast and propped his chin on his hand, some of his bangs falling onto his face. “Middle school is rough. It’ll go by fast, though. Soon you’ll be in college for med, or law, or-“ he sipped a glass of water. “-or whatever brainiac field you end up going into. What’s the assignment?”

Marvin ate silently, watching the two converse. He was jealous of Whizzer; Jason and Marvin’s relationship had improved immensely, sure, but the two always seemed to have such a good, easy relationship, as if they were peers, rather than son-and-dad’s-boyfriend. If it wouldn’t have been for Jason’s partial semblance to Marvin, he’d be sure that Whizzer would be the one who looked like Jason’s dad.

“It’s an essay. Two and a half pages,” Jason muttered, as both the men chuckled at Jason’s disdain. He reached for the glass in front of him, downing a few gulps. “I’ve been trying to start it in my head since she told it to us, but I can’t.”

“How fun,” Marvin said, dully. “Well, how about this- after breakfast, we can go to the shops, and we can get things to have a movie night tonight.” Jason grinned, pushing another forkful into his mouth. “But, you have to work on the essay first. At least get it halfway done.”

Jason let out a little sigh. “Can we at least buy more popcorn?”

Marvin couldn’t help but feel a grin form on his face. “Yes, we can buy more popcorn.”

“Deal.”

—

“No, you hold the lid on-” Marvin lifted an eyebrow at Jason, who quickly reached back to the pot’s lid to secure it. “I swear, if it’s a repeat of last time-” Jason grinned, still thinking that the time he and Whizzer had both left the popcorn unattended while Marvin was in the other room was one of the funniest incidents. It would have been funnier if his dad hadn’t gotten so mad. Whizzer patted the kid on the shoulder, pushing himself up to sit on the counter.

“It’s only popcorn, Marv,” he teased. Marvin stopped in the doorway, turning and giving a half-agitated, half-amused look to Whizzer.

“You’re not the one who cleaned it up. Let me just do these faxes in peace.”

Jason snickered, cautiously moving the pot off its burner when the popcorn was done popping, turning off the stove. Whizzer immediately took its lid off, jolting a bit when there was one final pop and a few loose pieces bounced out. He gave Jason a it-could-be-worse look before scooping them up. “So how’s the essay coming along?”

Jason’s face showed disinterest as he reached into a cupboard, on his tiptoes, to grab a few bowls. “Fine, I guess.”

Whizzer nodded, not having much else to say as a response. He watched Jason pour popcorn into each of the bowls, miraculously not spilling any of it. Jason handed Whizzer one of them, and for a moment, the two just stayed in silence. “What’s it even about?” Whizzer finally asked, sifting through his bowl.

“Well, we just read this story that was about like family, or whatever,” Jason replied, and Whizzer snorted. “So we’re supposed to chose one person in our family and say how we’re like them and what we like the best about them or our favorite memory with them… that garbage.”

Whizzer grimaced. “I can see why you’ve been reluctant about it.”

“Well, no,” Jason sighed, sitting at the table. “It’s not because of all the dumb stuff. It’s not like I have to write about that.”

Whizzer huffed out a breath of air. Dumb stuff indeed, he thought. “Then what’s the issue?”

“I just don’t know who to choose for it. I don’t have any sisters or brothers so obviously I’d have to choose a parent, and there’s my mom but then I have three whole dads- and I know it’s really not that big of a deal I make it out to be, but-”

Whizzer glanced up at Jason, somewhat shocked. “Three?” he asked dully.

“Um, yeah?” Jason gave Whizzer a confused expression. “You, dad, and Mendel.”

Whizzer’s face softened. “I-” he stopped as he heard Marvin’s footsteps coming back. “Your dad’ll really like it if you chose him.”

“Are you only saying that ‘cause you love him?”

Whizzer couldn’t help but laugh as Marvin came back, VHS tapes in hand, looking tired as he always did after doing anything related to work. “What’s the laughing about?” Whizzer shook his head dismissively. “Do I get popcorn?” Jason pointed toward the bowl as Whizzer leaned across the counter to hold it up. Jason hopped up, snatching the movies from his dad’s hands and headed toward the living room, taking the liberty to start the movie on his own. Marvin scoffed, crossing the room to where Whizzer was perched on the counter. “What? What’s with that face?” Marvin asked, addressing the light in Whizzer’s eyes.

“Jason was telling me about his homework, he’s gotta write about family- and said that he had three options to chose for dads.” He set the half-eaten popcorn down, loosely looping his arms around Marvin’s neck. “Kid considers me a dad,” Whizzer said in a sweet tone. Even Marvin couldn’t help but smile dumbly, resting a hand on Whizzer’s knee. “I know!” Whizzer cooed in agreement to Marvin’s change in expression. “I figured that he was going to say something about Mendel, since he’s actually his step-dad-”

“Just because we can’t get legally get married doesn’t mean he wouldn’t consider you his step-dad, either.”

Whizzer sighed. “Well, I know, but-”

“And he’s a smart kid,” Marvin smiled at Whizzer. “Compassionate. He’s got his mind in the right place.”

“I know, but there’s all these awful people in the world. I guess you just assume everyone’s gonna be against you.”

Marvin gave Whizzer a confused look. “I thought that you didn’t care about homophobes.”

Whizzer rolled his eyes. “I mean, no, but you know what they say to kids, and I love Jason.”

Marvin nodding, not responding for a long minute. “And he loves you, too.”

They heard Jason call from the other room, “It’s starting without you guys!”

Marvin smiled, giving a sincere look to Whizzer. He made a small head movement toward the door. “Kid’s gonna get mad if we miss any of it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Whizzer murmured, moving to hop off the counter, but accepting a kiss from Marvin first. “Coming!” He hollered back to Jason.

They slept soundly that night.

#I HOPE U LIKE IT AAAAAAAA #my art #my writing #falsettos #marvin falsettos #whizzer falsettos #whizzer brown #jason falsettos #whizzvin #(gets hit in the face with a ball)

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adhd-ahamilton · 7 years

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C F I M S T Y :) (I'm sorry....) ❤️

Never apologise for responding to these memes :P And oh, one of them’s already done, so that’s ONE less... :P

C: What character do you identify with most?

Lmao that’s a really good question!! It’s funny... I think many of us went through a similar process here, of liking Hamilton and relating to him, but then also encountering Laurens and really relating to him? But I think that’s because Hamilton is a specific kind of person, that a lot of the time it’s less relating to him outright and more... looking to him as an example? Both good and bad. Being enthralled by him and wanting to learn from him and figure out how to take on those qualities of passion and ambition and hard work without also gaining the many negative qualities. And I think that’s part of what interested John about Alex as well - John had so much tendency to self-doubt, and of course there was the whole issue of what he would study and how his dad basically forced him into law, but then there’s Alex who is so sure of what he’s going to do and how he’s going to do it...

But ramble aside: I identify a lot with Laurens like emotionally? And tend to project my insecurities and worries onto him. And also since I am also a white person from a wealthy family I try to kinda... be aware of that through him, as a way to work through what it’s easy to forget in my position and how I need to do better. So I guess I relate to him morally, as well. But... I first did get into this fandom because I saw something in Hamilton that I almost never saw in any other characters. Like, I almost never really relate to characters? There isn’t any character at all I can point to and say ‘yep, they’re just like me’? And Hamilton spoke to me in a bunch of ways I didn’t think I’d ever find. But like I said, it’s also partially a lesson thing - he taught me that I could be the way I was and still work and achieve things and be useful and do good, but it was also kind of a ‘yeah you can do better in THESE ways though, wow’ kind of thing. So though I don’t write from his POV much for various reasons, I definitely relate to him in some really important ways as well.

And uh, beyond this fandom... I love Leslie Knope but I’m more like Ben Wyatt, and there’s a whole bunch of moe anime girls that I relate way too much to (like Suou from Flowers and Hanamaru from Love Live! and oh god, Tsukimi from Princess Jellyfish for sure...)

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

Hmmmmm! :O There are a lot of good ones by Madtom and Publius in their whole verse! Also, going through my fic tag... wow this one by ciceroprofacto is SO GOOD (it’s not like overtly hurt/comfort but the overtone is definitely there in the end).

And beyond this fandom... I was into Supernatural right before this and lmao, canon-verse Dean/Castiel is like, inherently hurt/comfort :P And yet my favourite is probably this human AU one where Dean is a paraplegic and Cas is a guy who comes in to hang out and talk with people at the care facility and it’s written so so sensitively and avoids a lot of the gross ableist tropes that are so common in this type of fic because it’s written by someone who actually knows their stuff a lot and it’s REALLY GOOD and great!!

(Also just in general I tend to bookmark fic on AO3 when I like them, and I read for a pretty broad array of fandoms, so if you’re looking for recs you might find some you like there!)

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

MAN like I really have a thing for like... stuff to do with intimacy? Specifically, kinda mismatched or forced intimacy or whatever. Like the classic ‘there’s only one bed’ thing, where two characters who are just friends (or, like ‘’just friends’’) suddenly have to share a bed together, or the even MORE classic pretend lovers thing, where two friends have to pretend to be a couple and it’s all awkward and uncomfortable and they start feeling it FOR REAL but then it’s like nooo they’re only pretending, we have to act like we’re so close but we’re not but I wish we were...! MAN it’s so great!! Like IDK there’s just something about characters ending up in this position and it’s awkward but they end up learning so much about each other and then falling for each other and that just makes it even worse... Love it :’)

Or like, I looove like sexual tension and friendships that tip just a bit over too much and that steady slow burn as they get closer and closer and they’re SO CLOSE to getting together but NOT QUITE and they’re so much PINING and TOUCHING and ahhhh!!!!

Also just, projecting as much of myself and various identities and stuff onto characters as possible :P

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

S-so many... orz hmmMMM here’s a couple!

A modern day AU Hamburrger thing where they dated in college and now they’re both politicians and it comes out and Ham just kinda admits to it because what does he care and now Burr is just *screaming internally* at all times because he actually wanted to keep every tiny bit of his private life out of the public sphere, thanks?

Another Hamburrger thing where Ham is just trying to have a fun sexy time but Burr keeps unintentionally prodding at Ham’s really painful memories and stuff and it all just falls apart

One that I’ll almost certainly never write but: Lams AU assuming Ham dies in 1804 (which I don’t think he would but whatever) and Alex Jr is mourning but it’s difficult at home because he and Eliza never got along that well so he ends up staying over with Laurens instead and somehow they get to talking and finding ways to mourn together and Eliza as well and it’s all awkward and sad but they’re figuring it out eventually somehow

Various other Lams AU things, including: a kind of day in the life thing featuring domesticity and more Ham and Frances interaction, Laurens first moving into the city next to Ham and a LOT of domesticity and also porn?, Ned Stephens showing up and effectively doing the ‘if you hurt him I’ll kill you’ to Laurens, Alex and Eliza talking about the whole ‘Im cheating on you with a man’ thing where they are both irrevocably on different pages and will never agree but at least start to understand each other a little better

John and Francis meeting up during the war. Which sounds like a perfectly simple premise which I totally don’t need to research at all before I start writing it in my head!!!

Also I couldn’t write it myself because I don’t know nearly enough but I’d be really curious to see a Lams fic set in modern times, but like, where they’re both still in the military? Obviously such a fic would have to engage with the whole issue of the American military and all but like, we already have to engage with slavery as a thing, soooo it’s hardly foreign territory (no pun intended).

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Already covered part of that :P I love those dumb plots that basically revolve around ‘two characters are stuck together! How do they react?’ because there are just so many ways they can go depending on the characters and that’s really interesting!!

I also really love domestic fic including kid fic, historical AUs, interesting formats (like epistolary etc.), Outsider POV, and of course slow burn!

I quite like fandom tropes in general, to the extent that people really do, like... cross-reference the pairing and characters to the trope and write it specifically for them, and not just some Generic Pretend Couple Fic and change the names? I just really like seeing all the subtle differences between different interpretations of the same characters, when it’s done well!

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Hoo boy :) Well first up, I’m not into D/s, so any kind of A/b/o and slavefic and stuff I just walk right past. And as I implied above, when I get into a pairing, I really like to get into like... what makes that pairing special and unique and different? So I really dislike any stuff which cleaves towards making them more generic, like ‘jock!{character}/nerd!{character}’ type fic, which usually just ends up exactly the same as any other jock/nerd fic. (Also maybe it’s just cause I’m Aussie but we...didn’t ever actually have strict groupings like that in high school? So those fic in particular are just. Bizarre to me.)

Related, I tend not to like high school/college/coffee shop AUs because they’re usually like really overtly ‘hey this is what it is like for people here!! haha doesn’t it reflect your time in college really well? this is just what things are like for me!!’ and they are...usually not relatable to me. At all. Because my experiences are quite weird;;; So I just. don’t enjoy reading them because it makes me feel bad lol.

And uhhhh I really dislike fic where people go hard on the sarcasm and stuff? Like it mostly just ends up making them sound like assholes. I admit I’m particularly sensitive to this but I really, really hate people who mock and insult other people for just being themselves and doing what they want and 90% of snarky seems to be about that, especially when done by inexperienced writers. But even experienced writers do this sometimes when they get this idea that banter is good writing 100% of the time or that it’s too ‘’’simple’’’ just to write a character being like... nice? Or genuine? (Like holy shit I got soooo damn sick of snarky!Castiel like yeah great he is sarcastic OCCASIONALLY in canon, he’s not a grumpy asshole 24/7, where do people get this??? But it’s also something that comes up a lot in Hamilton musical fic and. yeah.)

Aaaand that’s probably enough lmao thanks for asking again!!! :D

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silveredglass · 7 years

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RULES

· Always post the rules

· Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

· Write 11 questions of your own

· Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

Hello. @dictacontrion tagged me in this, (thank you love!) And can I just say - I love this particular tag thing? It’s different and everyone’s questions and answers are great. It gets long so I will put a cut in, but everyone and anyone come have a chat if you like. <3

1. If you could have one billion dollars or the not (or only incidentally) profitable superpower of your choosing, which would you choose and why?

I suppose one billion dollars because I could do a lot with that.. Fund a lot of shelters, healthcare. Give a lot away to indigenous peoples to make their own choices. I could get myself elected. Possibly buy a two bedroom terrace in the city I live in (although real estate is crazy here so that would eat up a chunk 😉 But yeah, I mean you’d go for the money and the ability to change lives.

2. What article of clothing makes you feel most awesome?

My under-boob-body-suit-spanx-thingy? Also, I have this amazing navy matt sequin skirt and it’s, uh, well it’s amazing. It comes to about my knees and it twirls (!) and did I mention it’s made of matt navy sequins.

3. How did you get into your most recent fandom?

I don’t really have a ‘recent’ fandom as such. Relating this to my blog and fic stuff, I guess for me I have always had just one blog that everything went on; I was never good at separating interests or interested/good at ‘curating’ something. I did for many reasons discourse and theories and lies people tell and a whole damn hot mess delete my old blog and start again, but I literally had about 5 people I spoke to on that and 4 of them have left tumblr. That said, it’s always been Harry Potter and 1d and music in general and pretty pictures and sometimes a boob or two.

4. What’s your least favorite/most hated book, and why?

Ahh. Jesus. There are books I hate that I have never read – like The Da Vinci Code. But for something that I have read, probably anything by Brett Easton Ellis. I’ll focus on American Psycho.

I spent a lot of time in my late teens and early twenties either at school or uni reading books written by men about male experiences (presented as seminal works for ALL humans which eye-roll they are not) and often feeling very uncomfortable about them, but because they were deemed ‘cool’ or ‘good’ by people I respected I never spoke up about my issues with them. AP is honestly just the pinnacle of this. It’s not that I think the book is poorly written, or that it doesn’t have a place as such, or even that I have a problem with the shocking the elements of it – but it gets away with so much horrid misogyny in the name of art and really the violence actually takes away from the theme of the novel and so just ends up being sensationalist bullshit.

I am not sure if this makes sense, but basically I hate it because it is misogynistic and bad and also because of what it represents about me not speaking up when I wanted too.

5. Describe a fanwork you’d love to read/see/watch, but don’t want to create yourself, please?

Hahaha, @charlotte-bird’s Glasto fic. (Although I want to write a festival one shot myself, I love her sketched out plot idea and this art work a lot.)

6. What would be the lineup of your ideal music festival?

OK. I ended up with a spreadsheet which involved a fantasy festival lasting three and a half days, over three stages and two tents, and I was negotiating set times with myself because I wouldn’t be able to see all the bands I had programmed for myself at my fantasy festival? It was a mess. SO, I have gone for a nice one day-er featuring artists who I have not yet seen live, and for most, will of course never get that opportunity.

The Go-Betweens. Manic Street Preachers. Pulp. Amy Winehouse. Fleetwood Mac. David Bowie. The Beatles (cos you would if you could.) and then The Supremes to dance the night away…

7. You’re given the power to unilaterally create one law or policy in one country - what is it?

Fark. I don’t live there but straight away I thought of health care in the US. It’s unfathomable that people go broke because they break a leg? But closer to home and for personal (selfish?) motivations I would create federal policy around domestic violence, sentencing and parole conditions for offenders and proper long-term funding for short and long term effects of domestic violence. And leading from that a reformative framework for addressing crime that is primarly committed against women and children as a whole.

8. If you had to commit to living in one place for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I think near a river on the NSW South Coast. Or maybe Edinburgh. But I’d probably want to stay in Australia. We have a fair amount of problems and douchebag conservatives, but it’s a very lucky place to live.

9. Thinking about your life a year from now, what’s one thing that you hope will be different?

I’d like to have some proper travel plans for a long trip overseas & the other missed connection stuff relating to that.

10. What’s one thing that you hope will be the same?

My family are all healthy.

11. What’s the last thing that made you laugh?

Emily’s Cartoon this week , I just saw it reblogged again on my dash and lmso – the sky badger kills me.

OK. I’m tagging @charlotte-bird, @serpensthesia, @devinesis, @dddraconis, @slowestdive, @kiwisinnewyork, @thebluepeninsula, @jadepresley um @dictacontrion want to do this again !? (totally do not have to at all) @blamebrampton?

I know you’re all busy, so no pressure. And I know everyone always says 'anyone else who sees this and wants to please do’ - but I mean it, honestly I love this one, it’s like having a great chat.

My questions are:

1. Have you ever had something happen to yourself (not as a baby) that you didn’t remember until someone else told you about it?

2. Best food combination that shouldn’t work but does that you have ‘invented’?

3. Do you like live theatre? Art exhibits? If so tell me about something you’ve seen that made an impact.

4. Do you have an accessory or jewellery or makeup that you wear almost always?

5. What is your strongest olfactory memory?

6. What album that has been released in the past two years should I go buy?

7. When you were a kid did you have a favourite make believe game you’d play? Or dress up you’d wear?

8. Tell me something that made you feel proper chuffed with yourself. In a nice quietly contented way.

10. Have you ever had a scary or very odd animal encounter?

11. Share a link to a fic or fan art that you love?

#I need a tag for personal rabbiting on #lets chat if you like

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ichibanjeon · 7 years

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Star-crossed

» Star-crossed: frustrated by the stars

Genre: soulmate!au + reincarnation!au + good (?) ol' angst; that's it.

Word count: 3,681 | AO3

Summary: People always reincarnate with the age they first met their soulmate with, so they can age together. Once every 100 years, a pair of soulmates is cursed. In each reincarnation, with the help of clues left for them, but without any form of communication, one must find the other before they die. Otherwise, they lose the ability to reincarnate forever. Yoongi writes diaries hoping that, when he’s ready to show them, Jeongguk isn’t already gone. Not again.

Warnings: mentions of death

Author's Note + "Thank You" Note:

this is my first yoonkook work that is not a) a chaptered fic or b) a drabble, and it's my favourite so far. my heart hurts, i cried, let's cry together if you decide to give this a try. it's the longest thing i've posted. "my heart will go on", "your song" and "river flows in you" are great to listen to while reading.

first of all, i would like to thank one of my best friends, @dani-the-monster; your "hoe don't do it" keeps me grounded while writing angst; the support you gave my writing from the start has encouraged me to improve and keep writing;

and now a very special note: six months ago, when the blood, sweat & tears mv came out, i decided to message a yoonkook blog i had been following for a couple of months, yelling about jeon jungkook and his smirk; tbh i don't know what happened, we literally just yelled for like a week, then i started to sign off as "yell @ jeon", you gave me a tag, i wrote stuff and came off anon, we yelled again, jungkook made a vlive, yoonkook happened, we yelled again, their comeback happened, we were emo, i dedicated "it can wait" to you and you just messaged me yelling and i saw your tags and yelled too and i still cry, why would you use those tags; now we talk almost every day, like one of us just sees a soft picture of jungkook and sends it and we yell for like hours and i always get emo before i go to bed ??? we also yell a lot about yoonkook and their things. a list of our favourite things to mention, send and yell about: jungkook as a puppy, angel, little star and bunny; domestic!yoonkook; studio boyfriends!yoonkook; space metaphors; that giant carrot plushie; soft jungkook; why is yoonkook the angsty duo; yoonpianokook, the real ot3; plushies; "*yoonkook sending kisses gifs* night night!"; "i'm emo"; "I JUST WOKE UP I DIDN'T NEED THIS"; "wHY"; just general yelling tbh. andrea, (@jeonbase) thank you for six months! "star-crossed" is dedicated to you :)

“It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.”

― Audrey Niffenegger

March 4th, 3 a.m.

We arrived yesterday, March 3rd. Namjoon is already asleep, but I had enough coffee to keep me awake for at least 24 hours. There are still no clues, but I’m trying not to worry a lot about it. Last time it took 2 weeks until we got any information.

He’s not… hopeless, you know? It’s not like he’s given up. She’s always so hard to find, and since he didn’t get to be with her before she left… I get it; it’s hard, Guk. When I lost you, I thought I would never see you again. But you wouldn’t know.

Anyways, when you read this, you’ll say “You’re such an idiot, what made you think I would want to read these?”, but I know you read them while I’m out of the house. Speaking of which, where do you want to live this time? Namjoon says he wants to move back to Ilsan. Do you miss Busan a lot?

I don’t have much to say. We’re coming to get you, alright?

Stay alive, kid.

He doesn’t sign it. He doesn’t have to, because the only person who will ever read Yoongi’s diaries already knows him like the back of his hand. He wants to stick to his own words, but trying not to worry a lot about it is different from not worrying. As much as he tries to reassure himself, he knows time can’t always be on his side.

Three lifetimes ago, Yoongi felt like he was dead before dying. Three lifetimes ago, his life stopped making sense. Because three lifetimes ago, Yoongi was too late. Bright lights, a car, people screaming, a turn, a dying man. And a man dying inside.

Yoongi’s memories of that day remain as the hardest part of his existence. It hurts that it happened. It hurts that Jeongguk doesn’t remember. It hurts because it reminds him that he doesn’t have forever. And that’s why he writes.

Namjoon mumbles something in his sleep, which makes the older boy check the clock. 4 a.m. The sky’s far from starry, but there’s still a promise lighting up his night.

It’s been a week since they arrived. They always arrive together, no matter what. Yoongi says it’s a glitch; Namjoon calls it luck, and jokingly adds that maybe they’re the real soulmates.

When you reincarnate, life becomes easier. Time doesn’t bother you anymore, because you’re sure that you’ll make up for lost time with your soulmate in your next life. Exception: if The Council chooses you as the unlucky pair that struggles with time, it does bother you. Exception of the exception: if you’re Min Yoongi, time is just kind of there.

“We can’t,” a loud, disembodied voice said.

“Well, try!” he yelled, his tear-stained face reflecting the light of his surroundings and the pain he felt inside.

Eleven lifetimes ago, Min Yoongi was born for the first time. Eleven lifetimes ago, Jeongguk’s name wasn’t this familiar. It didn’t feel like a warm embrace after the long chase, it didn’t smell like hot coffee made for you in the morning, it didn’t sound like childhood lullabies, it didn’t mean love. But it still meant something, because fate doesn’t just belong in the future, at least in love matters.

When Yoongi turned eighteen, there was a knock on his parents’ door.

“I’m so sorry.” Cursed, black on white, and even though no one had said it, there was a silence that screamed despair.

“What for?” he asked.

“That you’re cursed,” the man replied. Yoongi offered him the only smile he could manage.

“It’s not your fault,” he said. It was no one’s fault. It still hurt.

Yoongi was twenty-three when he met nineteen-year-old Jeon Jeongguk. Yoongi is still twenty-three, and it’s his favorite number. He gets to meet a special boy every time he’s twenty-three.

March 17th, 9 p.m.

We got the first clue today.

It’s vague, it isn’t clear, but it’s something. It’s a guitar pick and it has your name on it. We found it on our doorstep, this morning. Does it mean you’ve stopped neglecting the guitar I bought you? What are you up to?

Namjoon got our stuff from the Department yesterday. Our house is still the same, but I always feel like moving out, you know? Start over.

Do you ever miss any of our previous lifetimes, Guk? I do. I miss the way things were three or four lifetimes ago. You wouldn’t understand… Sometimes, before I meet you, I dig out our old things. What were you thinking when you decided to buy that huge bike?

You’re weird. That’s okay, I like you as you are.

“Wow, I hate you,” Namjoon says, throwing his controller on the couch.

“Salty over Mario Kart, are we?” Yoongi snickers, putting his own down.

“Just extra tired today,” the younger says, and gets up, heading to the kitchen.

“You’ve been searching, haven’t you?”

He doesn’t get an answer right away. He notices how Namjoon almost stops in his tracks, but decides against it and walks in the kitchen. Yoongi is familiar with the urge to find someone who’s so dear to you.

“Hana’s the reason why I’m here,” Namjoon starts. “I was born ten lifetimes ago, and the reason why I’m still here is her.”

He’s not cursed. Well, at least in the official meaning of the term. If you’ve known Kim Namjoon for long enough, you’d have noticed how he seems to consider the soulmate system a curse itself. To chase the love of your life over and over again, in an endless cycle; is he wrong to think so?

“I don’t know- I probably sound stupid right now, but- is it really worth it?” he says, holding an apple.

“It depends,” the other starts, “I would give all I have for your forever.”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

Yoongi nods. It’s a conversation they’ve had before, more times than they can count. The kitchen’s quiet for a few seconds, until Namjoon speaks up.

“Wanna go to the movies tonight? We haven’t had any fun in ages.”

Yoongi shakes his head at the other’s pun, but agrees anyway.

“It doesn’t work like that,” the voice said.

“Make it work then! I – sob – I’ll do any – sob – thing!”

March 22nd, 4 p.m.

Do you remember why we agreed I would be the one to find you? Well I do, but you’re a hard man to find, Jeon Jeongguk. First a guitar pick, now a camera. Where are you? We were in Busan a couple of days ago; your parents say hi.

Namjoon finally figured out where Hana might be. He thinks she’s staying with not-so-close relatives in Moscow. Can you believe? We’re flying out as soon as I get the third clue.

Don’t you ever get tired of showing up in a random location every time? I always end up in Seoul, but you visit new countries all the time. I wish we could use cellphones; if you ask me, that law is quite a stupid one.

I miss your dumb smile whenever we go out.

Soon.

Sometimes, Yoongi dreams of a very happy place. It is far above the clouds, surrounded by the stars. From his spot, he sees all the constellations and the sight mesmerizes him. Time doesn’t mean anything but what it’s supposed to be: a word, as empty as it can be.

Words are terrible. Words hurt but heal as well, and it’s hard not to wonder why. In this happy location, they’re easy to live with, they carry meanings we can understand, but not relate to. He believes there’s a single word that will never stop making sense to him; a sweet earthly word, that feels good and tastes heavenly.

Yoongi feels like he’s floating around. He feels so small, yet so great. The most beautiful comet he has ever seen passes by, close enough to touch. And he feels warm. It’s like his heart was replaced by a star, his own personal source of heat and comfort. He names it Guk, like the sweet earthly boy.

“I can’t ask you to pay this price. Go away and live your life,” the voice said.

A man collapsed on the floor, sobbing loudly, pleading.

The third clue doesn’t arrive the day after, or the days after that one, or the two weeks that follow; Namjoon talks Yoongi into finding Hana first, they’ll look for Jeongguk after that.

Hana isn’t waiting for them at the airport when they arrive, but they manage to get to her relatives’ house relatively fast (they only got lost twice!). Namjoon’s face is now everything but a frown, nothing but true happiness and a hint of relief, as he holds his own soulmate in his arms.

“It’s been too long,” he says, breathlessly. And the girl in his arms becomes the only thing that matters, even if the moment is a fraction of eternity, of their eternity, because Namjoon knows for a fact that taking time for granted would be a foolish thing to do.

“Isn’t it selfish? You get to choose who leaves first,” the voice pointed out.

“I just want a chance to say goodbye.”

“It’s a plane ticket,” Namjoon repeats. “Out of all the things it could have been, they’ve sent you a plane ticket.”

Yoongi doesn’t reply right away; he’s lost in thought. It’s odd, but what could he expect? He’s sitting by a window, a book in his hands, his focus somewhere else. His grip on the book tightens before he lets out a quiet sigh. “Looks like he’s back home, after all. We must have missed him for a couple of hours.”

“We have to leave, Yoongi. It’s not like it can wait,” Namjoon says a bit louder. He’s sitting far from the older boy, hands holding the ripped envelope and the paper rectangle with the words “FLIGHT: 2476; TO: SEOUL” in thick, black letters. It all feels so blunt, so raw, so possible. As if it was as simple as a plane ticket and long flight. Namjoon’s words seem to hit Yoongi, because he puts down the book and stands up, walking towards the other.

“You’re not coming, Joon,” he states.

“Do you actually think I would leave my best friend to his cursed fate? We’re leaving tomorrow and I’m coming with you.”

“I have to do this alone.”

“Or so you think. You didn’t leave me; I’m not leaving you either,” Namjoon says, and his words hit Yoongi again.

“Namjoon,” the other starts, “You know how grateful I am for all you’ve done. But I’m leaving alone, and that’s final.”

“That’s just selfish.”

“Excuse me?”

“You come and go alone; doesn’t it bother you that the people you leave behind are alone too?”

“You know the consequences,” the voice said, matter-of-factly.

A man looks down and plays with his fingers.

“I do.”

April 8th, 2 a.m.

Our lives are made of a series of boards that hold all kinds of switches and buttons. My board has a ton of them, as does yours, as does everyone else’s. The thing is, we like to think that we can press the buttons and mess with the switches, but it’s not our job to do so.

I would say – call me crazy if you want – that our fates are in the hands of higher forces. Not things like The Council, or any gods or goddesses you might have heard about. Things that seem distant and abstract, but they’re actually as real as you and me. Love is one of them.

My biggest regret in all my eleven lives is the fact that I haven’t figured out how to do what those things do. If I could do it, if I could just reach any buttons or switches, maybe things were different. It is both a blessing and a curse, a source of despair and peace of mind, to have your future in the hands of something you don’t really understand.

However, I’m eternally grateful that one of those forces pressed a button called ‘you’ for me. The universe can do whatever it wants, because that button is pressed and nothing can take that away from me. Not even time.

Goodnight, Guk. I’ll be there before you notice it.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?”

A man looks up and nods. “How long?”

No answer.

Yoongi wakes up, startled by the sound of an old door opening. As his eyes adjust to the darkness that surrounds him, he hears footsteps. Turning around, he’s surprised to find Kim Namjoon, his friend of ten lifetimes, standing in the doorway, hair as messy as it could be.

There’s silence. It goes on for who knows how long. Yoongi doesn’t know how late, how early in the morning it is, but it’s not like he cares that much. It doesn’t matter.

It matters, though, that Namjoon sat by his side, pushing aside the open notebook the other had fallen asleep on. It matters that they don’t speak, that they don’t have to. It matters that, through the silence that has settled, Yoongi hears quiet, muffled sobs. It matters that soon, the sobs belong to two instead of one, and the embrace that follows matters too, as well as two hearts that fear for each other, because of love and loss, of life and death, of the silence that means too much.

It is four a.m. when Namjoon lets out an ironic laugh, one that is meant to be cheerful, and wipes his tears. It’s the way his arms circle Yoongi’s frame that gives it all away, and the other knows, and it hurts that it’s impossible to avoid, because it’s inevitable, because it’s no use trying to fight pressed buttons.

“Take care,” Namjoon says. All he has to say, all he thinks he left unsaid, is in those two words, in the tears that created liquid paths on his cheeks, in the way he wants to hold the older boy, as if maybe – and even if it seems like a foolish thing to do – that would stop time, just so he doesn’t have to go just yet.

“You take care too, kid,” Yoongi replies. He means, “I’ll never forget you, even if time makes me forget myself.”

"Hey! How long?"

April 9th, 9 a.m.

As it always happens when I get to meet you again, I don’t know what to write. I don’t want to get cheesy because well, I’m not really a cheesy person. I’m sitting outside the house we’ve shared for some years. I know you’re still asleep, because who could wake you up on a Sunday morning? (Hopefully our doorbell will.)

Namjoon couldn’t come; he couldn’t come because I didn’t let him. “I have to do this alone,” I told him, and it’s true. As you’ll see as you go on – and become less of a little shit – there are a few things one must do alone. A few feelings we have to go through by ourselves.

Lao Tzu said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

I know I feel brave whenever I think of you, so if you ever needed reassurance, here it is: I love you. I love you as I did eleven lifetimes ago, yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever, even if some say it’s useless, even if the world ends and the sky falls, even if you ever doubt it, even if I’m gone, my love for you will stay the same.

In this world of soulmates, there are a few things we get to call eternal. We were cursed, yes we were, so our ‘forever’ is different from everyone else’s. Our forever is made of fear, of hope and trust. I fear that I might lose you every time we come back. I hope you’re always here to greet me again, just like the first time. I trust you, and that your little heart is strong enough to go on.

Just like you give me courage, I hope I give you strength. To be deeply loved by someone is such a wonderful feeling, and I know that, because I feel strong at the thought of you. If I ever needed reassurance, you’re the best at giving it.

This is not meant to be a love letter, but a letter from a lover to his lover. And if you ever need it, let this be a reminder of who we are, the story of two star-crossed lovers.

Time to ring the doorbell.

“Are you listening to me? How long?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Please.”

Jeon Jeongguk hates it when someone wakes him up on a Sunday morning. And that’s why his mood is not the best when he’s startled by the high-pitched sound of the doorbell. He groans, stretches and rolls around, mentally (and maybe thinking out loud too) cursing the most likely unwanted visitor.

He takes his time to get up, the fluffy carpet tickling his feet. He puts on the first shirt he can find, slowly leaves the room, walks down the stairs, and looks out the window. To say he was surprised to see his favorite person in the world standing outside would be an understatement.

Min Yoongi has his black hair styled casually, hands in his pockets, the red shirt Jeongguk gave him for his fourth twenty-third birthday peeking from under a black hoodie, the kind that makes him look smaller than he is, and the younger boy can’t help but smile at the sight of the other’s small frame in oversized clothes.

Jeongguk literally runs to the front door, takes a deep breath and unlocks it, before opening it and allowing himself to stare once again. Only then does Yoongi look up from the ground, where a brown backpack is, and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. His hands are shaking, he notices, and so are his legs, but he still runs to the other’s embrace, shaky breaths filling the hair. Then a kiss, as passionate as the first, and they hold each other’s faces, each other’s frames, each other’s hearts.

In a rush to love, to make up for the lost time, to reassure each other with a whispered “I’m here”, they enter the house, Yoongi’s hand dragging the brown backpack along. It’s a moment that goes on for minutes, and it feels like hours.

“So you were in Seoul the whole time?” is the only question the older boy can manage.

“I was. I arrived last week,” the other replies.

“We were in Moscow, to look for Hana, but that’s a story for another time. And Namjoon says hi,” the thought of his best friend is enough to make Yoongi’s heart ache in a way he can’t handle, not now.

Jeongguk notices the dark bags under his eyes. “You’re exhausted, Yoongi.”

He feels exhausted. “Can we take a nap? I’ll tell you all the stories when we wake up.” Jeongguk smiles and nods, leading the other up the stairs.

Their room is exactly as he remembers, the weird lamp he got at a garage sale, the large painting Jeongguk made for their anniversary, the blinds that they should fix, the dark brown doors of the walk-in closet that they use as a storage room, that light grey walls that would be sad and naked without their pictures together.

Yoongi drops the brown backpack and tells Jeongguk, “Some things for you to read when we wake up. All the stories you might not remember.”

He takes off his hoodie and places it on the armchair by his side, and then he crawls on bed and gets under the covers, the pain in his heart unbearably strong now, and he feels so, so tired. He just wants to sleep.

Jeongguk feels odd. There’s something wrong. His heart hurts too. Realization hits him all at once, and he doesn’t understand half of it. All he knows is that there’s something he has to say before time takes over, before it’s too late, before he’s too suffocated by the pain in his little heart.

“You knew it all along?” he lets out, and the other nods.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?” Jeongguk asks.

“That we’re cursed,” Yoongi replies. It’s getting harder to speak, to breathe, to live.

“It’s not your fault,” Jeongguk says. It’s getting harder to reply, to stay, to live.

“Will you stay with me?” Yoongi asks. He means, “I don’t want to be alone when I leave.”

There’s a hand that holds a hand, and two other hands that wipe tears on different faces. There’s an empty room, filled with more than can be put in words. There are two bodies, two star-crossed lovers, two lives tied forever. There’s a dying man, a man dying inside, and their hardest goodbye, all over again, like a dejà vu. And perhaps regret, love and loss, life and death. And pain. And love. Aren’t they the same, for the few unlucky ones?

“I’m a speck of dust floating in space, and you’re the most beautiful comet I’ve ever seen,” Yoongi lets out. It’s his last goodbye.

And they are a comet, a cursed ‘we’ going in circles through time. They are star-crossed, a pair of soulmates that was meant to be, just not forever. There’s a nineteen-year-old boy, shaky breath and blurry vision, because the stardust becomes too much to handle, and whispered secrets of the universe they share being spilled onto a pillow.

“We’re the comet, Yoongi, going in circles around the sun. And our hearts are a single star. And the dust we left behind is what I’ll be holding on to.”

“3.”

A man nods again. He bows respectfully and waits until he’s back home.

A few hours later, he’s finishing a letter. A diary.

“Jeon Jeongguk, I do not regret a thing."

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